#i currently am struggling to shake a specific paranoid delusion that cropped up last night
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ocd rly sucks sometimes bc i swear my paranoia just shoots me in the foot with my personal life so bad
#its like this weird combo of anxiety and favorite personing#that makes me fixate on if one specific person whos opinion i care about#like hates me or not#i currently am struggling to shake a specific paranoid delusion that cropped up last night#even tho its....... SOOOOOO unlikely#but even still#its the kind of thing if id just like#get out of my own head. would probably be fine#like#so fucking often#i just wish i could act normal enough around people to not care#its like i feel like i hide my true self from the people i want to be real with the most#and im like man if i was just acting like. normal/chill we'd be best buddies and everything would be fine#but instead i have to be fucking insane#its just hard and weird and complicated bc im so used to keeping things secret and to myself and not being able to explain things#i dont even know how to fucking talk to people sometimes#i just want to make real ass friends man#why is this so hard
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