#why am i embarrassed now LOL | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cuppatealove · 8 months

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I am GOING to finish this chapter of Anchor Point and then I am GOING to write another chapter of Operation Thanksgiving, it is going to happen, it is going to happen.

#guys I am like 2 chapters away from getting to the chapter of chapters the whole reason why I started writing ot #why do I keep getting sidetracked why #except that the same could be said of ap and I have some future stuff i REALLY want to get to #come on pull it together cuppa #2 more weeks of summer holidays and then I might be able to find some actual time #literally embarrassing that I would consider one (1) ot chapter this year to be a win #one of my problems is that the niece and nephew I was vaguely using as inspo for the kids are now like 4 years older lol #how do 7 and 10 year olds talk again???

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kimmkitsuragi · 5 months

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whew haha

#🗒#my mom is like 'ok it's set let's tell everyone' and im like 😭😭😭😭 !!!!!#are u sure!!!! are u sure it's set like ???? 😭😭😭#ughhhhhh after this much trust i will literally kill myself if i dont get ANY scholarship lmaooooo #but also like. is it set now!!!! really !!!!!!! is it !!!!!#(excited but horrified and anxious)#like. like like like........ like i mean #um........ for real now? like are we sure for sure ??#i honestly will be like 100% on my way to [redacted] and still be like haha. is it for real #are we sure . will this actually happen #that's. crazy man #i cant help but feel like im asking for too much again. ughhhhhhh #yes hello hi. this blog has been my main outlet for emotional breakdowns about the same subject for um #(checks notes) a few months now. truly is anyone else bored of this ? because im so over it #but also like. things just dont get clear !!!!!! ever !!!!!#how can i be sure how can anyone be sure that i will actually be going lmfaooooo #i hate this waiting period i hate it why cant i know if i got anything or nah. but please don't say nah #ughhhhhh . alright. whatever it's not like i care that much honestly -_-#(threatens to kill self every day a few times over this btw)#anyway um let's. be positive #it will go great tomorrow 🤩 they will want to give me money sooooo bad 😍#and i will receive an email this week 🤗 about the wait list thing for SURE 🥳#i am doing amazing dont worry guys. im sooooo chill rn #Sorry for the constant embarrassing personal posts lol

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queenerdloser · 3 months

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i uh. scratched my car pretty bad lol

#liveblogging life #the parking lot for my new apartment has a VERY narrow entrance #and uh turning into it is a little tricky???? idk why since i managed it fine so far #but today i think i turned a LITTLE too closely and ended sliding along the pole right by the entrance #and now i've got these long scratches down my back right door whoops #like. they're pretty noticable.#no damage and i didn't dent anything i think???#so im like. well i wasn't planning to resell the car anyway so i honestly dont really care that much #but on the other hand it's kind of embarrassing to have evidence of my shitty driving on display like that lol #and my dad's going to be soooo upset about it way more than i am lmao #i dont really want to spend a ton of money getting it fixed but they're definitely deep enough they'll need a repaint #i ordered some paint touch up & maybe i can just like... sort of help it so it's not quick immediately obvious???#idk man it's a bummer but im also kind of like /shrug about it too you know? im more surprised it took me this long to ding it lmao #actually i think i might have dented my car a lil bit bc the bottom right panel is like. slightly loose now #idk idk i dont really have the money to spare to get it fixed if it's going to be expensive so im kind of handwaving it right now tbh

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skunkes · 1 year

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❗

#sorry didnt wanna distrupt the dash with another little reaction image post LOL #anyway anyone else feel so embarrassed always. im so embarrassed. and ashamed. im so embarrassed. im embarrassed!#talkys #im so tense rn i want to explode bc of how embarrassed i am. i remember now why i avoid interacting with others

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ryuseitai · 2 months

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so nervuos for tmrw bc im seeing my cousin

#i love her so much But #Its my dads side of the family and i dont see them often at all and everything is always so awkward and #they dont know i dropped out of school and everytime my grandpa sees me he asks about school #and i havent seen him since before i Would have graduated this past may #like i would be graduated hs right now but #im not SO IF AYNYNE ASKS ABOUT IT IM GONNA LOSE ITTTT #god #hopefully my grandparents just wont be there Idk why they would bc im just going to hang w my cousin #but they tend to jumpscare me sometimes when i go out to see her #Gahhhgaaahhhhhahhaooouuoououou #i could just tell the truth bc idec about them knowing i dropped out its just embarrassing bc i lied for so long #buti just did bc when i first stopped going to school my mom told me not to tell anyone on that side of the fmaily..so..#i dont think shed care anymore either but its just been so long and ive never told them Augh #and my grandpa really wants me to go to college which i straight up just dont wanna do. not rn at least #and id need to get my ged first which ive been procrastinating on the entiire year Oopsies #my aunt always tells me not to listen to him thoughand that i dont have to go to college if i dont want to i am grateful for her..#shes always protective of me from him LOL i love my grandpa and he means well and stuff but #he will just say anything #and he always makes me cry in public or at family gatherings bc he starts talking to me about my dad #i knowppl just aska bout like school and plans for the future and stuff bc they care but i wish they wouldnt bc i do not know anything #i dont know a single thing about how my future is going to go or what i even want it to be or how im going to live and its stressful enough #already when im not being interrogated about it #Like lets just talk about something else. Lets talk about enstars #Isnt it crazy that shinobu has gone going on 15 months without a new 5*?..i think its a little crazy and i miss him

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serendipetite · 10 months

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tempted to post my first ever captive prince fic but i'm scared! it's smutty and i haven't written smut in years but...i kind of want to share it. everyone in the fandom has been so kind and so i don't have any real reason to feel so anxious. maybe i'll share it today when i work up some more courage

#captive prince #idk why i am getting so embarrassed about smut #years ago i wrote a ton with absolutely zero shame lol idk why i'm like this now

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ichigosoju · 4 months

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🍓

#umm he couldnt even be bothered to react to my messages with emojis?!?!?#like he said that he isnt up for talking and i respect that #i asked him if it's still ok for me to message him and he said 'ofc'#so i did.... i had to push myself bc im feeling like he hates me and doesnt wanna hear from me #all of my disorders saying that haha #so i pushed myself to message him when i wanted to #but.... ok i didnt expect him to reply #but he read it and didnt even give me an emoji #im aware that i sound crazy #this is just how im FEELING #i feel stupid and ashamed for thinking he even wants to listen to me yap about nonsense #i hate myself for being so stupid and sending him pics and a video of the crow i saw #like shut up dumb bitch nobody cares!!!!!!!! shut up #no wonder he cant be in love with me #im pathetic and stupid #his ex that he actually loves is probably smart and witty and cool #and would never be such a fkn loser like i an #am*#god... genuinely hate myself #why dont i know how to shut up??#definitely wont be messaging him anymore now jesus christ im so embarrassing #im still hurt tho like couldnt he at least have reacted with an emoji #is that too much to ask for......#i mean listen in any relationship #where u have disorders.. communication and BOTH ppl making an effort is needed #the only way our 'friendship' is even working is bc im just allowing him to do whatever #and im just dealing with the emotional suffering lol #he doesnt even make an effort to reassure me or anything #so yes i cant force him or ask anything of him. but i FEEL hurt by how im not worthy of anything to him #while im over here allowing him to hurt me constantly sksksk

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meggie-moo · 1 year

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i’m convinced when i was younger i read a different version of ao haru ride, because HOW did i feel bad, and sympathize with touma. THAT MAN IS VILE

#btw spoiler warning in the tags!!#the fact that he totally manipulates futaba into a relationship 😭😭#and at like the end of the series his friends are like “how are you doing”#AND THIS GUY GOES “when she’s down im going to mainpulate her back into a relationship 😈”#LIKE WHY WAS HE SO EVIL 😭😭#and how is he played off as still being likable #how did i like him and feel bad for him when i was younger #he’s awful #he’d unironically sing that “why do good girls like bad guys”#song with his band #he is an embarrassment #i am coming out as a touma anti #i am older and wiser now #idc if he’s a high schooler i’ll fight him i was a high schooler like two months ago #meg’s incoherent thoughts #blue spring ride #ao haru ride #touma kikuchi #tbh i don’t think he’s popular enough to have an lol or anti tag 😭😭#but i constantly see people pity him on tiktok as well #how did this happen #how did we sympathize with him i am flabbergasted #gobsmacked

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scoups4lyfe · 1 year

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somehow, I doubt that

JASDLK;FJSALDKJFLKDJF

NOT THE FVCKING BULL JOKE

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

he's fallen for your boyish good looks and snake ways (in a derogatory way)

#Ace is a movie star???? why am I just now realizing this 🤡#also buffa really just embarrassing himself in front of God and everyone #he really can never be normal around Ace LOL #my thougts #kronthescoup #kamen rider geats #geats liveblog #geats #the fox has a gun!#5 lucky toss #ukiyo ace #michinaga azuma #debbie is his own tw tag

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b4kuch1n · 2 years

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hello! thank you for hanging out with me while I lost my mind over crabs that was fun. I have real news to bring you tho, now that it’s somewhat solidified: I am drawing stuff for a TTRPG! which means art’ll probs be sparse on here until the end of the year at least. so yeah if I go kinda quiet after this it’s not bc I sold my beloved for two dollars by misremembering what a click does to a crab on tumblr I’m just having fun + doing work + losing myself to the horror

#bakuspeech #technically I didnt sign an NDA or anything like that so I think I can talk abt this as much as i want lol. but like. Im gonna be civil #the game's called The Zone by laughingkaiju/raphdamico! and I'm doing some character art stuff #if u look up the game and look thru the available visuals u will understand why I am putting my whole head into this #Im not gna be embarrassed by how fast I snatched this gig up when it was offered lol but I mean. the enthusiasm shows #but yeah. I'm fully expecting to work on as many characters as I get to and can feasibly do. so it'll take up most of my drawing time #hope u guys have fun and hang out and have good not burnt tea while I'm out. might drop in here and there for small stuff #otherwise this is a kind-of hiatus notice I think. see u guys next year! I will shut up now #have a good night! the horror may be vast but you may always have a hand to hold in the face of it!

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mainfaggot · 7 months

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i won second place in a spanish lit contest yayy there's a cash prize yayy

#can i be honest though #when it was announced that i placed second i was blushing from pure embarrassment. like my first thought was #“how humiliating. to be second place your entire life. it's always you being so close to first but never quite good enough for it.”#i feel better now though my parents were super stoked lol and my prof from last semester was like #“te querría decir que para mí eres la verdadera ganadora del concurso es que los otros miembros del comité no entendieron tu cuento...”#“a veces una obra es tan profunda que solamente unas personas pueden ver lo que representa”#shes so nice.#god shes so nice and yk what people will think shes playing favourites and yeah maybe she is and maybe i dont deserve it.#i still dont understand why she likes me! i dont get it. but who gives a shit like its free niceys and kindness i will put my .#internal tragedy aside and just accept what i am given #z.post

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abigail · 2 years

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if you have nice hands/nails literally kill urself <3 peace and love <3

#sorry I am just feeling UPSET !!!!#im v tired of being embarrassed about my hands/skin issues …#I wanna have pretty nails so bad #and there was like a brief moment (like.. a year… before lockdowns lol) where I would do get my nails done #and it boosted my confidence sm with it all #but now I’m just too ashamed/embarrassed again ……. 🗣#I’d go get my nails done again but I wouldn’t wanna go to the same place as before b/c they were kinda mean #so idk where I could go…. and I also don’t want to have to explain why my skin… looks like that…#and I know for a fact some places would just not want to do my nails b/c the skin is so damaged lol #also I simply can not afford to get my nails done ……. hmm……… oh well #anyway !#sorry I just needed to vent #a

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stinkrascal · 2 years

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even though it was buried in the tags of my last text post, that text post was the first time ive ever admitted to any of my ocs having The Diagnosis which is also My Diagnosis which means ive just somewhat admitting to having The Diagnosis which is My Diagnosis and wow that was extremely nerve wracking but it also felt nice to get it out there. this is my coming out post i guess

#definitely gonna delete this later i just wanted to ramble for a minute #idk why but this specific diagnosis was the most difficult thing to come to terms with #being diagnosed with adhd and bpd that was nothing but THIS ONE? it ruined my life for at least a few months #which is so silly bc when other people have this diagnosis i think nothing of it #but when its Me it just brings out this horrible complex inside of my heart #so having an explanation for that kinda stung you know. but hey its there now #a lot of this journey has just been me trying 2 unlearn the harmful stereotypes abt myself as far as The Diagnosis is concerned #and learning to treat myself kindly in spite of my insecurities which at times feel like a direct byproduct of my diagnosis. its a lot #but yeah. Yeah. idek what im trying to say anymore #shoutout to my homies who felt like aliens their entire childhoods only to be diagnosed later in life we are so strong and whatever #kisses you on the forehead #also tbh it feels good to project it onto my ocs. it makes me feel better about myself #making brie autistic as shit makes me feel more normal because in my head im like well shes living her best life. why cant i #and all the straud kids too. theyre still living their best lives and theyre totally confident w themselves and they accept their diagnosis #and they accept its just a part of them you know!! nothing to be ashamed of. so why cant i #THIS IS SO LONG IM SORRY im very emotional right now. ik this is kinda weird but i really want to find the confidence #to talk about this without feeling embarrassed about myself. autism rocks !#this is literally the autism website idk why im nervous right now you are all literally autistic why am i so nervous LOL

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keeps-ache · 10 months

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just wait til i remember how to turn properly, then it's all over for you losers [<- the steep hill i'm scared of rolling down at the park]

#just me hi #[confidant pose] don't let anyone ever tell you i'm not a scaredy cat Hbfvhs #because LISTEN. there's a sharp-sharp turn at the end of it and i Ate it there once. and now i'm taking it slow by gradually rolling myself #down at higher and higher points #this is working for me! but i also realized i do Not remember how to turn lmaofovfshfbvhs #slightly embarrassing! however i Also discovered that i am a Champ at catching myself when off-balanced now hfvbsh #i used to Suck at that lol - and now look at me (you can't but try) ! not running into the grass so easily now huh?#i'm also trying to remember how to brake #this should all be muscle memory but my muscles are like my memory. not good dude lol!#but i am having fun :DD !!#//anyway gonna go finish mission impossible with my ~+~brother~+~#it's fun i see why they made what looks to be 500 movies off of this hfvsh #so byyyeee until i figure out what i'm doing later toooodlessss :D

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pepprs · 2 years

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idk how to reconcile my new self with my old self. also i fucking hate waiting. GRAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#delete later #im getting a taste of my own medicine bc when im overwhelmed depressed etc i don’t even open emails or dms or whatever and then ifeel guilty #and let them build up and run away from them and literally do not reply for years. but ive been waiting for like 5 different but related #replies for 3ish days at this point and im soooooo impatient omg i want to bash my head into the wall.. and afaik no one i messaged has #opened the message despite being active online elsewhere which is EXACTLY what i do so i have no right to complain at all. but still. omggg #i just have a simple question (me and the ps5 voice) reply to my message boy #purrs #also.. ok yeah im gonna be honest about it even if there are consequences lol. idk why im on such a mission to get back all my old #characters but if i don’t i can and will go crazy. i don’t even do that kind of thing anymore and d*viantart is an irreversibly warped #landscape due in part to capitalism and in part to own mistakes and selfish actions. and i truly feel like my tumblr mutuals are the only #ones who understand me and feel safe and cozy on here. but i miss my old internet home. and i really miss my old internet friends and seeing #all the jokes we had and how we were all like interconnected w the same adopt groups and stuff and now we don’t even talk… it makes me so #sad and i feel weird messaging them just for the purpose of asking if they can give me back characters i gave them 4 years ago like a) you j #just don’t do that kind of thing i don’t think but b) it feels so transactional and would make the part of saying hey our friendship was #important to me when i was a teenager and even though we don’t talk anymore i think of you fondly and wish you well. like lollllll. and i #feel cringe even tracking them down / messaging them bc we are all jn our 20s now… embarrassing. but i am so mad at myself for letting those #friendships wither (not that i have the spoons to sustain them these days anyway but still) and for not keeping bettr track of my characters #when i sold them and for giving them up in the first place and for letting my old internet life just fall apart due to neglect bc it puts me #in a bind to try to piece it together again no matter how i try it and i shouldn’t try anyway. but i am so tempted to rn. lol #* itd make saying stuff abt appreciating friendship weird bc there’s a transaction tied in (source: i did this and feel weird and bad)#like the way i want to SCREAM seeing that dA ate all of the journals i made when i was a 14 year old and turned them into glitched polls. th #the way the wayback machine has terrible unreliable records of everything and i can never get some stuff back / track some stuff down. pain #anyways it’s stupid bc i feel cozy and listened to and as connected as i have the energy to be to all of u guys so why am i doing this. but #i miss the dA stuff too and i wish it wasn’t cringe and i wish i could have everything that’s ever been part of me all in one place. lol #also this doesn’t even take into account my poetry community on dA on my other account who i also felt so safe and cozy with and i abandoned #that too and lost touch with basically everyone even though we all knew each others deepest secrets for years.. the heartsickness of it all #anyways mutuals who knew me on deviantart i am clutching both your hands with impassioned urgency and kissing u on the cheeks. that’s all

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orchideius · 2 years

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genuinely, when will it end??? I am so tired of being here and I am not sure how much longer I can push myself to keep going. i’m exhausted.

#it’s 4am and I am feeling the Deep Darkies #I literally passed out at 9pm from mental exhaustion & also bc I wanted to start to get up early to start a morning routine #so I actually got a ton of sleep but the second I woke up I felt like I wanted to cry and now I feel so depressed out of no where #like girl WHYYYY #genuinely I am so debilitatingly depressed I have suicidal thoughts every single day #and I feel like ive tried everything to help myself like ive been to therapy ive been on and off meds for over a decade at this point #im starting to eat better and sleep more #like what the duck else do I do?#I genuinely feel like my brain is broken #I just want to cry and lay in bed every single day #like I cannot articulate the profound sadness into words but it’s. so bad #and it takes literally all my brain power to do one assignment a day for class like none of this is sustainable #and I just feel so much shame over it bc whenever I tell my mom she gets mad like it effects her or something and the few times ive made th #mistake of trying to confide in my dad he gave me the whole pull yourself up by the bootstraps talk so never again lol #my entire family has made me feel so much shame over it and none of my friends here even bother to ask how I feel and don’t make me feel #comfortable enough to talk to bc i’m always the fucking therapist friend helping everyone else #hence why I always vent on here lol I have no one to talk to #I just really don’t know what to do at this point like I feel like I need inpatient therapy at this point but that’s expensive and I don’t #want to tell my job why i’d need extended time off bc that would be so embarrassing and plus now i’m in school #so like what do I do #im tired of feeling like this I know this isn’t how life is supposed to be but it’s also all ive ever known #and what’s the point of living if i’m going to feel like this everyday? I don’t know how much longer I can take it #personal

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