#why am I still talking about arranged marriage proposals ? what happened to talking to my family about this

[wherelanguage-ends]

Here’s the thing

On one hand i betray all the morals and values I stand for

On the other I’ll be joining the long line of women who have aligned themselves to patriarchy if only to get a smidgen of power for themselves

What I’m trying to say is

If we aren’t coming anywhere near to abolishing arranged marriages I might as well make a killing out of marketing myself as one of those effective communicator/interpersonal coaches type of job to help dudes yk secure themselves a wife

This coming off the fact I just once again had to deal with a 30 something dude’s inability to carry out a simple conversation that HE himself fucking initiated

See now only if there was someone out there who coached him on how to carry out a conversation with an actual person

[heavensbeehall]

"Catching Fire", Chapter 5

Part 1: The Spark

Chapter 5: Katniss and Peeta are herded back into the District 11 "Justice" Building. Haymitch leads them to a safe place to talk (here are my thoughts on that). Peeta knows Katniss and Haymitch have been keeping things from him. Haymitch reveals he put his resources behind Katniss and not Peeta in the Games. They go to a dinner and do much of the same in other districts but the spark of rebellion has been lit. Katniss suggests a marriage proposal. Peeta is bummed. President Snow doesn't think it is enough.

Thoughts:

-- This is the first time I recall seeing Peeta angry. He feels as though he may have gotten Thresh and Rue's families killed by giving them the money. What's interesting to me is how well he understands how the Capitol will respond. It's not that he's naive and doesn't understand how they work. He knows the score but he's still trying to give Rue and Thresh's families a "brighter future." Classic Peeta.

-- Katniss notes "elation" in the faces of people in Districts 8, 4 and 3. To me this suggests 11, 8, 4 and 3 were the "early adopters" as it were of the Revolution. By the time the Quarter Quell happens, the Tributes from 6 and 7 will be part of the plot as well, along with Haymitch. Perhaps that is why Johanna had to prove herself a bit by getting Beetee and Wiress?

-- I'd love to know about the Rebel leadership in these districts. Commander Paylor of 8 was clearly a stand out. Bonnie and Twill speak of the organization there. In the previous chapter, Katniss doesn't think the crowd in 11 saluting her was spontaneous which means they also have some kind of rebel infastructure. And 4, of course being the home of my beloved Mags, is most interesting to me because it is somehow a bastion of the Rebellion and a Career district.

Quotes:

As far as I know, Haymitch has only been here once, when he was on his Victory Tour decades ago. But he must have a remarkable memory or reliable instincts, because he leads us up through a maze of twisting staircases and increasingly narrow halls. At times he has to stop and force a door. By the protesting squeak of the hinges you can tell it's been a long time since it was opened. Eventually we climb a ladder to a trapdoor. When Haymitch pushes it aside, we find ourselves in the dome of the Justice Building. It's a huge place filled with broken furniture, piles of books and ledgers, and rusty weapons. The coat of dust blanketing everything is so thick it's clear it hasn't been disturbed for years. Light struggles to filter in through four grimy square windows set in the sides of the dome. Haymitch kicks the trapdoor shut and turns on us.

It's not "instinct". He knows where he is going, guys.

".. I decided to look around the Justice Building. I'm something of an expert in architectural design, you know. [...] district ruins are going to be all the rage this year."

A little insight to the things Effie cares about. (Though it's a bit rude to call District 11's Justice building "ruins" considering... they are still using it though it's probably accurate.)

"Was that really the only time you kissed Gale?"

I'm so startled I answer. "Yes." With all that has happened today, has that question actually been preying on him?

Yes, Katniss. Yes. If you aren't actually "with" Gale already then he's still got a chance!

Peeta, who spends much of the night roaming the train, hears me screaming as I struggle to break out of the haze of drugs that merely prolong the horrible dreams. He manages to wake me and calm me down. Then he climbs into bed to hold me until I fall back to sleep. After that, I refuse the pills. But every night I let him into my bed. We manage the darkness as we did in the arena, wrapped in each other's arms, guarding against dangers that can descend at any moment. Nothing else happens, but our arrangement quickly becomes a subject of gossip on the train.

I am imagining some train person posting online about how Peeta and Katniss sleep in the same bed and she's always screaming.

[mordoriscalling]

Assurance and Authority (4/25)

Post-BOTFA Persuasion Au: Bilbo returns to the Shire after the Quest, having rejected Thorin’s proposal of marriage. For years after, he struggles with regret. When he and Thorin meet again, he knows better than to hope. 

Chapter 4 also available on AO3

(Ch 1) (Ch 2) (Ch 3)

The Great Smials in Tuckborough, the ancestral home of the Tooks, was a system of numerous smials connected by a multitude of tunnels, in which the Tooks had been residing for generations. The place was a remarkable piece of construction, which constituted a home to many a dozen families and still allowed them to host guests. Despite that, the Smials were typically rather crowded on normal days, but there were times when the place was nearly packed to the brim with hobbits, which occurred if many guests were visiting at the same time.

Such was the case when Bilbo took Primula up on her invitation. Prior to his arrival, Primula had come to Tuckborough from Buckland together with her husband and son, two sisters Amaranth and Asphodel, her mother Mirabella and her father Gorbadoc Brandybuck, as well as half a dozen of their relatives. The reason for their visit to Tuckborough was both a familial and a diplomatic one - they all wished to see their Took relatives, and Gorbadoc, the Master of Buckland, wanted to meet with his nephew Fortinbras II, the current Thain of the Shire.

With the Great Smials so overcrowded, there was scarcely a chance of not bumping into any hobbit after leaving one’s room. Bilbo, when he passed someone in the corridors of the Smials, more often than not ended up seeing one of Primula’s immediate family. This was not unfortunate in itself, but the problem was that they all liked to confide in Bilbo about their problems and tiffs, which often concerned Primula’s husband Drogo.

"My dear Bilbo,” aunt Mirabella told him one morning on their way to breakfast, "I must say that I did promise myself not to meddle in the affairs of any of my daughters, but bless me, I have no very good opinion of the way Drogo intervenes with how Prim rears Frodo. He always has objections to how she encourages his curiosity and lectures Frodo about what’s respectable. The lad is just a little fauntling, for goodness’s sake!”

"Bilbo, my dear boy,” uncle Gorbadoc said when he and Bilbo chanced upon each other in a pantry, "Since you’re the head of the Bagginses, I wonder if there’s something you you could do to arrange for Drogo to have more earnings? I’m sure he could use more money to indulge his appetite better. Why, he dines with us at least twice a week, and he always eats for three every time! Not that I mind, but I’m sure it would put him at ease to be able to buy more food for himself.”

"Whilst you’re here,” Amaranth murmured to Bilbo while they helped with washing the dishes, "Could you possibly give Drogo a hint that it would be better if he didn’t try to take precedence over papa? We know you Bagginses are an esteemed lot, but Drogo has no authority in Brandy Hall, Baggins or not.”

‘No matter how much Drogo insists on them, papa doesn’t care about proper table manners,” Asphodel said while she and Bilbo were baking lemon cake, "It’s good food he cares about.”

Primula herself had a thing or two to say as well. "I can take care of Frodo just fine without Drogo’s lectures,” she grumbled to Bilbo one evening over tea. ‘I know our boy is a Baggins and with that come certain expectations, but he’s just as much a Brandybuck as he’s a Baggins!” She sighed. "And I wish you could have him assured that nothing would happen to him when boating if only he allowed me to teach him how to swim. Perhaps you could talk some sense to him, Bilbo? Swimming is really something that one should be able to do.”

When Bilbo tried to raise these concerns with Drogo, most of his attempts were futile, as Drogo had just as many issues to complain about.

"Oh, Bilbo, you have no idea how relieved I am!” he said once when they enjoyed a smoke by the Great Door. "To have a Baggins around who understands me! Really, Brandybucks are too strange for me sometimes. How can they go boating, I will never understand. It can’t be safe. And to think Primula wanted to take Frodo boating too! To endanger our boy so! You must try to tell her to be more reasonable, Bilbo.” Another time, he said, "The very thought of going boating makes me feel ill. You have seen Brandywine, you know how wide and deep that river is. Merely being near it makes me uneasy, and living next to so much water makes my joints ache. I swear, it’s all because of that moist river air. I’m so relieved to have come here, I feel better indeed. I wish I had another Baggins with me in Buckland, then I’d be seen and heard. Perhaps you could talk to them in a way that would make them understand me?”

The unsolicited role of a mediator began to tire Bilbo profusely. His only respite from it was being outside of the Great Smials altogether, which was why he took to long walks most eagerly. Often accompanied by Primula, Frodo and many other fauntlings, Bilbo would wander around the green hills of Tuckborough, exploring its colourful meadows, charming groves and little brooks.

When not busy entertaining or watching the little ones, Bilbo found his mind wandering as much as his feet did. He tried his best not to dwell on the past, instead turning his thoughts to the problem at hand. It was not the first time that he bore witness to all the disagreements stemming from Primula’s marriage to Drogo. Since they had been wed six years ago and welcomed their son into the world a year later, the couple had been facing a problem of not seeing eye to eye on certain matters with one another and each other’s relatives. That was not to say they were unhappy together; they were greatly fond of each other, loved their son dearly, and found as much charm as fault in each other’s differences. Rather, Bilbo worried that, because of their financial circumstances, they were too dependent on Primula’s parents and thus, having no prospects of moving elsewhere, they were always bound to living near disapproving family members. Such conditions fostered only conflict and could not be beneficial for their union in the perspective of decades. Bilbo believed that the situation was likely to lead to unhappiness, and Primula’s well-being concerned him greatly; the lass, eighteen years his junior, was one of his relatives that were most dear to him.

She had always been a curious spirit ever since she had been little, and when she had been old enough to speak, she would always seek Bilbo out during family gatherings, at the time when Bilbo had been past his second eleventy birthday and everyone had already labelled him as quite a bit of a recluse. Little Primula, being a tiny fauntling, had not cared about the general opinion of him and befriended him right away. She had stayed constant in her liking of Bilbo for all her childhood, and the two had formed a strong connection, similar to that of siblings. Once Primula grew older, their bond had been nurtured by them both, which Bilbo could not have been more grateful for, especially since it had been Primula more than any other who had helped Bilbo overcome the grief of becoming an orphan.

Due to their closeness, Bilbo worried about Primula’s happiness a lot, so much so that one day he did ask her about it outright.

“Are you happy, Prim?” he said during one of their outings, on a sunny afternoon at the beginning of Wedmath. They had played hounds and hares with Frodo and a dozen other fauntlings earlier, after which the whole group enjoyed a picnic. Now that the children had had their rest, they were up again, playing leaf flutes at the top of the hill, which Bilbo and Primula were slowly climbing.

“Of course I am, Bilbo,” she replied. “I have a family of my own now, a healthy child, whatever else could I wish for?”

Bilbo frowned, displeased with her answer, for he knew far too well what one with family and a child but no place to call their own would dearly wish for. “Primula,” he said, “If you ever find yourselves in need of a different smial to stay, Bag End’s doors are always open to you, for as long as you wish.”

“Why, Bilbo, I could never impose on you so!”

“Come, now, Prim, it’s an invitation freely given. Besides, I’m sure Drogo would find the comforts of Bag End most beneficial to his health.”

At that, Primula laughed out loud. “He would indeed. There would be nothing better for his joints than the ability to run a hot bath at will!” She sobered. “Still, you’re too good, Bilbo. I cannot find it in myself to abuse your generosity like this.”

“It’d be no abuse! It’s simply the least I could do. I wish you to take me up on this invitation.”

“Bilbo, please. You must realise that it’s not easy for me to accept charity.”

“Charity? It’s not charity. I’m much more selfish in my offer than you can imagine.”

“How so?”

Before Bilbo could reply, one of the fauntlings above shouted a question about whether the group could go play in the creek on the other side of the hill, which Primula gave them permission to do.

“My adventure has changed me very much,” Bilbo said once the little ones disappeared from view. ‘Before, I was more than happy to eat my dinners alone. Once most of my grief of losing mama and papa passed, I loved my solitude. Then, my adventure showed me what I had been missing, and now I can scarcely like lack of companionship.”

“I see,” Primula replied, and that was all they said on the matter.

They walked in companionable silence, reaching the top of the hill. Bilbo began to imagine what it would be like to have Primula, Drogo and Frodo live with him and he found the idea exceedingly pleasing. He had always believed that his father had built Bag End for it to be full of laughter; the smial standing near empty seemed to be a terrible waste that had been weighing on Bilbo’s heart and mind for some time now.

When Bilbo and Primula were about to descend the hill to join the fauntlings at the creek, a call from behind them caught their attention.

"Mister Bilbo!”

It was a tween lad, running up to them together with another boy, whom Bilbo recognized to be Hamson and Halfred, the two oldest children of Bilbo’s gardener Hamfast Gamgee. The boys were visibly red in the face even from some distance away.

"Mister Bilbo!” Hamson cried again. "We’ve been looking for you!”

The two lads finally stood before them, panting heavily.

"Papa sends us,” Halfred said. "There were three dozen dwarven soldiers marching through Hobbiton before noon, and a few of those dwarves knocked on Bag End’s door! They even asked him where you were, mister Bilbo. Papa said you’d want to know.”

"Are they friends of yours, mister Bilbo?” Hamson asked.

“I don’t know,” shocked Bilbo replied, as was the truth. “Perhaps.”

Bilbo had indeed invited the Company to visit his smial anytime. He had told them at what time tea was and even not to bother knocking, when he had bidden them farewell. Thus, Bilbo dearly hoped that the dwarven soldiers in question were some of his friends, but at the same time feared the heirs of Durin might’ve knocked on his door, even though the likelihood of that event was exceedingly small. Alas, before he could ask the boys if they knew anything about how the dwarves looked like, Frodo’s pained cry carried in the air.

[thehare1234]

Weekly TV Roundup

A lot of shows ending this week with some hits and misses but a lot of enjoyment from me

🍒Cherry Magic Anime (Ep 10-12)(end): it’s over 😭 it was a good ending…I’m glad they kept the scene where Adachi decides to lose his virginity similar to the manga because I love love that scene just Adachi finally describing what he likes about Kurosawa to him ahhhh…I also think this was my favourite version of Tsuge/Minato hehe…OG Fujisaki will have my heart though

🥟She Loves To Cook, She Loves To Eat (Ep 27-30)(end): I am so sad I'm done all the episodes but the ending was done so beautifully and just like watching their relationship grow and all the other people in their lives growing as well, and their friendships it was just too much like what an amazing show...and listen they can make another season, there's so much more to explore. This second season was truly so good :)

🎬At 25:00 in Akasaka (Ep 10)(end): Bahhhh nooo it's overrrr. I'm so sad, Thursdays have been so excellent the past few weeks but that's ok. It ended really perfectly like what I wanted was a happy ending and a little taste of them being happy as boyfriends and Hayama smiling and I GOT IT! Ugh idk this show was just so great from start to finish in my opinion, and explored everything super well. To answer the question I asked myself at the start of the show, yes I probably would watch the BL that theyre filming in the show, I would eat it up. I would be talking about how great the chemistry was on Tumblr.com

🏡Knock Knock Boys (Ep 5): This was another solid episode, Latte continues to get better I swear. Also the addition of Jane I think is fun…especially since it’s not really like the jealous ex girlfriend trope…like her and Peak just seem like an arranged marriage or smthing…I’m intrigued what they mean by they need to take responsibility? Also yes Jumper already having a boyfriend so real I knew it was coming….but also I’m wondering if Almond really took the video or if it’s a fakeout. I kinda hope he did and then he goes on an arc realizing how wrong he was and apologizing to Jumper. Also I like how while Almond is inexperienced he’s not like a blushing virgin like he’s exploring his sexuality himself it’s nice to see

🦋My Marvellous Dream is You (Ep 7): ok okkk…we are still on the slow burn train. But this show is exploring a lot more than the romance. This episode we really got more of Wans thoughts and struggles. I love the moments with Mon and Mali they really lighten the mood a lil…omg tho that proposal/asking Kim out was toooo much like pls my guy you need to chill out…and Kim is just going with it it’s gonna get so messy

✨We Are (Ep 12): This last arc of episodes has got me officially I’m loving this show and the dynamics like them finally starting to get together and each couple is on a different phase of their relationship and each one is exploring their relationship in a different way 😭 also tho I’m laughing like now this friend group is just gonna be 4 couples and 3 dudes vibing (to be fair my friend group is sort of like this). My fave moment of this episode (among many) was at the beginning when Phum says he likes him and their doing their back and forth and the friends are just going « ooooohhh » and « ahhhh » in the background. Because tell me why if I was in this exact situation I would be doing the exact same thing lmao

🌊Love Sea (Ep 3): ok so I wasn’t expecting to get emotional watching this show but that ending was truly…really good…I’m liking the backstory we’re getting and them opening up…I’m intrigued to see what happens when they go back to Bangkok. listen I love a good sapphic fake dating plot and Vi is kinda iconic but like both people need to agree to it it can’t just be forced on another person…but I’m hoping they’ll be cute later on like I see the vision

💍Wedding Plan (Ep 3-7)(end): ok I binged I couldn’t help it I got so invested in this show and had some extra time and it just happened! I really loved this show, a few moments of being bored but tbh the core story was so nice. Like the friendship between Sailom and Yiwa was so great. And like it was sort of frustrating to see Nuea hurt and confused but like I understand why it was like that…everything was just really good and I thought the chemistry was there…Sailom my beloved. Him and Yiwa really got me and like at the end the four of them vidéo calling was so sweet their lil family😭 I also liked the arc with Nueas family I thought it was sweet…idk listen this was just wayyy better than I thought it would be and didn’t really feel like a MAME show…I love how more and more shows have a GL couple and a BL couple because idk it just feels more balanced? Anyways loved it had a good time but def had a different feeling to all MAMEs other shows

🥘What Did You Eat Yesterday? (S2 Ep 1-2): my faves back again S2 let’s go. So far we got just dealing with change and growing older…also the amount of misunderstandings or perceptions Shiro has about him at work just because he cannot be open :(…but at the same time everyone agreeing he wouldn’t go to a hostess club because he’s too boring kills me. I’m glad I’m spacing this show out because I never want it to end!

💟 Wandee Goodday (Ep 8): alright, we got a really cute marriage proposal (like best scene let’s be for real) and some scenes were really cute but I’m not feeling as invested in this show as I was at the beginning but I’m going to continue it to see how it progresses…Yak remains my fave

🧍‍♂️My Stand In (Ep 9): Alright well, this episode was wild. Half of it was joes funeral and just pain and it really got me in my feels…..also I’m ready for the next arc to see how Ming tries redeem himself (I’m sure the way he will do it will be toxic but oh well). At the end of the day, Joe cannot stay away from this man even when he tries but I’m glad he stood up for himself a little more this episode. Also Sol is a whole other thing I don’t even know what to do with all that

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Two Of Us (Ep 4): Ah yes, 15 minutes of two women being in love and being cutesy and not being able to keep their hands off each other. What a great time, 10/10 no notes. Every week I become more ready to watch these two be more in love in a full length series. It's hitting all the GL tropes too: taking a bath together next episode, putting lipstick or chapstick on only to kiss the other person with it <3.

🌅Sunset X Vibes (Ep 2): I'm letting this one marinate a bit because I am liking the down bad CEO vibe they got going on and there were lots of moments I liked but I am still not fully sure where theyre going with this....

Other shows

📝Bridgerton (Ep 5-8)(end): Me and my roommate binged the second half together…and honestly I was a lil disappointed. Like I liked some of the side plots but some of them like the whole Benedict side plot felt sort of random? Like I think they could have used the screen time on the main couple? Like they had the big romance confession moment in part 1 but didn’t carry that energy into part 2. Also I feel like they sort of wanted Cressidas character…like her and Eloise’s friendship was a big running thing the whole season and it just sort of ends with « well that was a mistake? » idk just felt weird. Maybe next season they’ll also gender swap Benedict’s love interest and it’ll be a fully gay season lol (with Francesca)

👽 3 Body Problem (Ep 7): Ok almost at the end of season 1. First of all, it makes so much sense to me that the San-Ti would recruit another human to have someone on the inside, and have that person be Tatiana because if there's anyone you want on your side, it's her. I think Ye Wenjie's arc and her story this episode was well done, and Will and Saul's friendship is also a highlight in this show for me. I guess next week they'll try and launch the probe, and we'll see if it works? I'm just mentally preparing myself for a cliff hanger tbh. One thing is I'm still sort of lost on the Vera storyline? Like they planted the chip in her head, because she found out about the San-Ti? Or she committed suicide on her own, without the interference?

🪶Little Bird (Ep 6)(end): What a bittersweet ending. I think having all of the family coming together and just showing the importance of family and community really reinforces just how much was taken from everyone in this story. I also think it makes sense how the only person who seems to understand and empathize with the situation is Esther's mom, Golda, who also lost family members and has felt her family torn apart, in a different way. The ending too with the mom returning was just so heartbreaking. I think it made sense to end it there because the reconnection of her with the children would be a whole other show. Everyone should watch this, especially Canadians.

🏫Degrassi (Ep 84-92): We have made it to teen pregnancy #2 on this show and it was a lil unexpected, also learnt that Christians can like watching UFC so thanks for the education Degrassi. A good string of intense episodes but show is just wild but good?

Next week

I think there’s a new JBL coming out next week?? And a sports one (which I might not watch)? And a new GL? And the Trainee??

[falconcoast]

the marriage pact | diluc x reader

masterlist

as the children of nobles, you and diluc have long joked about your inevitable arranged marriages. but when that daydream becomes a reality, diluc comes up with a solution.

a/n: first thing you’re going to ask is “grace don’t you deadass have a whole series about y/n and diluc faking an engagement” to which i say: shhhhh reputation never happened. instead of my love for fake dating fueling this fic, this was heavily based on sylvain and mercedes’ support in three hopes !!

warnings / tags: none i believe?

as the child from a noble family, the odds of you having to mingle with the children of other nobles were high. true friends were few and far between.

one such friend was the late crepus ragnvindr’s son, diluc. the current owner of dawn winery, despite his cold and curt exterior to his potential suitors, was actually quite the kind man. he walked the vineyard every morning, tenderly observing each bunch of grapes. he always covered his mouth when laughing, afraid it would come off as impolite. he liked to stick out his tongue while writing, or while randomly seeing his younger brother walking the streets of mondstadt. yes, under that persona, diluc ragnvindr was a perfectly normal young man. and after nearly two decades of knowing him, you were happy to know this side of him.

when he wasn’t busy, the two of you could be found in the vineyard long after the workers had gone home for the day. your moonlit strolls were often the highlight of your week. you would talk about everything; winery sales, your volunteering at the church, and more often than not, your romantic status.

”yet another proposal came in today,“ he said, adjusting his arm in yours. “it was from a noblewoman in fontaine. her father has a high-ranking seat on their judicial court.”

“oh, is that so? i suppose it would be advantageous for you and your philosophy of justice,” you replied, shrugging your shoulders. “what do you think? shall you meet?”

“of course not,” he rejected, staring at the endless fields of grapes. “i am a ragnvindr. i belong here.”

“ironic, considering how you left ‘here’ for the rest of teyvat for four years,” you laughed.

“no dwelling on that now. i can only attempt to make up time,” he chuckled softly.

there was a pause in conversation. the sunset painted the sky a myriad of colors, which were reflected on the river. you both stared at the rushing water, rippled mirrored images looking back at you. crystalflies fluttered by, along with faint traces of anemo.

when you looked up from the water, diluc was already staring at you. “were you…were you ever going to tell me about your engagement?” the redhead asked softly.

your hands left his arm, hastily planting them by your side. “goodness! someone’s well-informed,” you first attempted to laugh off. truthfully, you were nervous to talk about the subject and was left with shaky hands.

“y/n,” he said, raising an eyebrow. “your fiancé is a noble from a neighboring territory. it was bound to reach my ears eventually. i wanted to ask you how you feel about it.”

you fumbled with your hands, avoiding his gaze. the silence was filled with the flow of water and diluc’s steady breathing. sighing, you relented. “it is true that i received a well-off proposal.”

“will you accept? i don’t find that man unfit for you. he is wealthy, and mild-mannered. compared to the other suitors who come knocking on your door, he is perfectly fine.”

“it is a fair question to ask, and i thank you for your concern,” you replied, smiling slightly. you dropped your hands in front of you and looked at the ground. “but, it is not a matter of what i want. my family backs our engagement. i doubt i have much say in the matter.”

“i see,” he murmured.

“if i did have a say, i would refuse in a heartbeat. the world is wide and life is too short for me to settle down at such a young age,” you sighed dreamily, looking to the northern forest. “still, i doubt there is any hope for me.”

“why not reject him?” diluc asked with a raised eyebrow. “you’ve done it plenty of times before.”

“oh, you make it sound so easy. i’ve refused so many proposals that my family has run out of patience,” you shook your head. “besides, marriage talk has already begun. we will be married by the end of the summer.”

“that is absurd,” he scoffed, crossing his arms. “is marriage not for love?”

“i thought it was too. but my cards have been dealt to me. i will be married,” you answered. “if being married means my family’s nobility is safe, then i have no right to complain. like you said that you were a ragnvindr, i am a l/n. to each our own, right?”

“y/n, that does not make it right,” he replied, shaking his head. his cheeks were so red, almost comparable to a tomato. “you cannot get engaged to a man you don’t even know. you cannot be so—so self-sacrificial.”

“i don’t expect you to understand and you’re right, it’s unfair. but i must do the best i can. i must bloom where i am planted,” you said, staring at a sweet flower nearby. you plucked it up, admiring the golden petals in the fading sun.

handing it over to diluc, you smiled bittersweetly.

the first thing in the morning, you heard a knock at your door. rising, you were surprised to see your best friend, frantically running a hand through his hair.

“diluc, a good morning to you,” you greeted with a questioning expression on your face. “my, you’re up early. not even my servants are awake. is something the matter?”

“is ending those marriage negotiations your only goal out of this whole ordeal?” he asked, placing one hand on your forearm.

“i—well, yes, it would be,” you replied. holding his face and swooping the hair out of his eyes, you paused. “diluc, really, i’ve never seen you act like this before. please tell me what’s going on.”

“marry me,” he answered breathlessly.

blinking blankly, you stared back at him. “i’m sorry, you want me to do what?”

“i’m asking for your hand in marriage, yes,” he replied simply, as if he hadn’t asked the most important question of life to you. “i know that it’s sudden, but think about it. with my status, everyone who wants to marry you would have no choice but to bow out. no one wants to compete with the wealthiest man in mondstadt.”

“diluc, i cannot ask you to to that,” you shut down, crossing your arms. “you would marry me so that i don’t have to marry someone else?”

“yes. and after we get married, you can do whatever you want with life. you could volunteer at the church, or attempt to help those far-gone knights you adore, or spend the rest of your days with me in the winery. and if you happen to fall in love with someone else, we can always divorce. whatever it is that makes you happy, i won’t even think about stopping you.”

“oh, diluc,” you whispered, tears catching in your eyelashes. “i can’t do that to you. i would be stopping you from experiencing love and marrying your beloved. i won’t do that to you.”

“please,” he murmured, holding you by the waist. slowly, he went down on one knee and fished something from his back pocket. “i can’t bear to watch you marry someone that isn’t right for you.”

as the first rays of dawn peeked over the horizon, haloing his head, he presented a square-shaped diamond ring to you. with a soft gasp, you looked into his eyes.

“would you do me the great honor of marrying me?” he whispered.

[ragingbookdragon]

Friends To Arranged Marriage To...Wait, How Many Kids?

Bruce Wayne x Reader One-Shot

Word Count: 3K Warnings: Explicit Language

Author's Note: Y'all ever write a self-indulgent Friends To Lovers fic? 'Cause that's what this is. Enjoy! -Thorne

It wasn’t unusual for her to suddenly appear in his office. She did it most days. Okay, it was more like every day but that’s not important. The fact is, she showed up and he wasn’t at all the least bit surprised when she barged through the office door and slammed it behind her.

“Morning,” he murmured, taking his eyes off the screen but a moment to lock them with hers.

“Good morning, Bruce,” she responded with a polite smile. “We need to talk.”

That wasn’t unusual either. When she came to the office it was because she wanted to either complain about something going on or because she was bored and didn’t have anything to do, so badgering her best friend seemed like the best option. It wasn’t, but he wasn’t going to tell her that.

“What do we need to talk about?” Bruce questioned, clicking at the mouse until his screen loaded.

“Something important. Something especially important.” She replied and with one hand reached behind her and flipped the lock on his door.

Now that was unusual. And Bruce saw this going one of two ways and he hoped it wasn’t the first way that involved her pulling a gun.

“Okay,” he said and watched her out of the corner of his eye as waltzed around his desk and perched herself on the corner. “Am I in trouble, (Y/N)?”

“If you disagree with me, you will be,” she retorted and she started fumbling in her tote.

“You sound serious,” Bruce noted.

(Y/N) harrumphed. “I am quite possibly the most serious I’ve been in years.” She pulled out three manila folders and handed them to him, watching as he opened the first and started reading through it.

He didn’t say anything as he opened the others and read them but frowned when he set them aside and went back to his computer.

“I’ve already planned on a new secretary, (Y/N).”

She watched him with careful eyes and explained, “Those aren’t secretary files, Bruce. They’re marriage candidates.”

At that, his entire body went rigid and ever so slowly he drew his gaze from the screen back to her, staring her straight in the eyes.

“I…beg your pardon?” he asked as if not understanding what she’d just said.

(Y/N) rolled her eyes and picked up the files. “Each of these women are successful elites from either Metropolis, Star, or Central City. You have arranged marriage meetings with them Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday to decide which one you want to marry.”

This was happening way too fast, and he still didn’t know what “this” was.

“I’m not opposed to marriage, (Y/N), but why?”

She pointed to the picture on his desk, and he briefly glanced at it. Him, Dick, and Alfred on Christmas morning last year.

“Dick needs a mother.” She was never one to mince her words. “A father can raise a son, but the boy needs a mother’s love too, Bruce.”

“I think you’re a bit out of line here.” He remarked, brows pulling together. “We’re fine at the manor.”

“Bruce…please don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re not a soft man. You’re hard edges and firmness, and while that isn’t a bad thing, Dick needs a mother who can be the parent that isn’t firm. He needs a mother’s guiding hand.”

She handed him the files again. “I’ve met each of these women. They’re good women who will make wonderful wives and even better mothers.” She stared at him. “You should know how important it is for a boy to have a mother.”

Bruce was on his feet in an instant, in front of her, eyes narrowed into a glare as he bit out, “(Y/N), now you’re out of line.”

“Really?” she challenged, not at all threatened by his towering figure. “Look my in the eye and tell me which parent you miss more. Thomas…or Martha?”

“I miss both of my parents. Every day.”

“And I don’t doubt that. But I know you miss Martha the most. Isn’t she the one you promised to save Gotham for?” (Y/N) questioned and his mouth snapped shut, jaw clenching tightly as he averted his eyes because he knew she was right.

She reached out and rested a hand on his forearm, forcing his eyes to hers once more; her gaze softened and she murmured, “You miss your mother more than the world, Bruce. How do you think Dick feels every night when he goes to sleep? Fathers are the protectors for their children, but mothers are the comforters—there are going to be things that you can’t help him with, but a woman can.”

(Y/N) gazed at him and pulled her hand away. “At least go and meet them,” she requested and when he didn’t say anything, she sighed and picked up her tote, making her way to the door.

She flipped the lock and paused, glancing over her shoulder to say, “At least think about what I’ve said, Bruce. For Dick…and for you.” He met her eyes and she added, “I think getting married would be good for you too.”

He nodded, and since that was all they could hope for, she left the office and Bruce collapsed into his chair, turning around to stare out the window.

***

His theory that she would show up Friday evening proved true when she waltzed into his office and took a seat in one of the leather chairs in front of his desk, delicately crossing one of her legs over the other.

“How’d the interviews go?” she asked, not even bothering to ask him how his day was or how his week had been.

“My day was great, (Y/N), thanks for asking,” he mocked with a glare and she waved it off.

“Interviews, Bruce. How’d they go.”

He let out a sigh. “They went well. Each of them was polite and kind.”

“And?” (Y/N) gestured for him to continue.

“And nothing. That’s it.”

She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. “Seriously? You just met them for a singular purpose and all you’ve got it, they’re polite and kind?” She glared at him. “What’d you talk about?”

Bruce sighed again and reclined in his office chair. “Humanitarian works, college days, high society—you know, the usual.”

(Y/N) gave him an unamused look. “Did any ask for a second date?”

“All of them in fact.”

“Did you agree?”

“No.”

Her head lolled back, and she glared at the ceiling. “Did you even think about what I talked about a few days ago?”

“I still am.”

“Then why didn’t you agree to see one of them again?”

“Because there wasn’t anything we had in common.”

“Most people who have arranged marriages don’t, Bruce. That’s why you go on dates and get to know them.” Her eyes were still on the ceiling. “What’s the real reason you said no?” She always knew when he’d lied to her.

After a moment, he murmured, “…I didn’t think any of them would be suitable to be Dick’s adoptive mother.”

“I guess that’s…fair,” she agreed and they both fell silent.

A couple minutes later, he said, “I’ve been thinking about what you said though, (Y/N). About finding a wife who would be a good mother for Dick.”

“Uh huh.”

“I think you’re right. I do offer Dick everything a father could. Support, protection, guidance…but he is missing that love only a mother can give a son.”

“And how’s that making you feel?” she questioned softly.

His voice got quiet. “Like how I was when I was growing up without mother. (Y/N), I…I don’t want Dick to feel that way.”

At that, she drew her gaze from the ceiling to his eyes and she reasoned, “Then I think you should call one of the girls back and agree to a second date. You won’t find perfection in one day, even with how intuitive you are.”

Bruce shrugged. “I just want to find someone closer to Gotham. Someone who is familiar with us already.”

(Y/N) grunted. “I purposely moved away from Gotham because no one is.”

“That’s fair,” Bruce chuckled, and they fell into a silence again.

Suddenly, a thought flashed across her mind and she sat up. “Us.” She blurted out and he looked at her.

“What?”

(Y/N) gestured between them. “Us, Bruce. You and me.”

“I don’t follow,” he replied with a confused expression and she huffed, rolling her eyes.

“You’re an idiot,” she griped, then she stood and planted her hands on his desk, leaning over to get in his face. “You and I are the closest to Gotham as you’ll get, and I’m familiar with you and Dick.” She smiled. “Marry me.”

She could count on one hand how many times she’d ever stunned her best friend silent and that was number two because his jaw went slack and his eyebrows shot up to his hairline, steel blue eyes wide.

(Y/N) frowned. “Oh, come on, you can’t tell me the thought didn’t cross your mind at least once.” Silence. “Oh my God, are you serious? You didn’t even think about it at all? Like ever?”

He shook his head, mouth still hanging open.

“Oh, for God’s sakes, close your mouth and wipe that stupid look off your face. It’s not a completely inconceivable idea, you moron.” (Y/N) held a hand up, counting off her fingers, “I’m of acceptable status, I dress well, I’m thoroughly educated, I do humanitarian work all over the world, I love your son, and I’m probably the one woman that doesn’t make you wanna stab yourself in the eye with a fork.”

She grinned at him. “You’re not going to find anyone better than me here in Gotham, Brucie-boy. Besides, I think (Y/N) Wayne has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”

Finally, he managed to make himself speak and he blurted out, “I stopped thinking like five minutes ago. I’m not even sure how to do that anymore.”

(Y/N) pulled a face and griped, “You’re an idiot.”

“I am not,” he retorted with a glare. “You can’t just propose to your best friend out of the blue and expect them to function like it’s normal!”

“You’re Batman,” she whispered. “Figure it out.” (Y/N) pointed at him. “There’s another plus on my side! I already know your deepest secrets! See, aren’t I a catch?”

“Was this your plan all along?” Bruce suddenly questioned and she gaped at him for a second before shaking her head.

“…No.”

“(Y/N),” he drawled, and she sighed.

“Alright, it crossed my mind a couple times but that’s why I started with the other women first. I was kinda hoping you’d pick one of them.” (Y/N) looked at him. “I really don’t see anything wrong with us getting married though. We’ve been friends since we were babies, we have a lot of the same interests, and we both care for Dick.”

She shrugged. “I mean we might not be in love, but our marriage doesn’t have to be. We’re stepping up for a greater good. For a young boy who deserves to have two parents.” (Y/N) reached out and held out her hand. “So? What do you say?”

Bruce gazed at her for a long time, longer than she was comfortable with because she knew he was mentally pulling her mind apart. After a few moments he stood and walked around the desk to stand in front of her.

She pulled her hand back in and gave a curious look. “Bruce?” His hands gently took hold of her cheeks and he leaned forward, even as her eyes went wide and she whispered, “Bruce, what—”

He softly brushed his lips against hers and (Y/N) all but melted against him, her hands pressed flat against his chest. They pulled away a moment later and he rested his forehead to hers.

“I think we can make it work, (Y/N).”

She couldn’t fight the giddy smile that came over her face. “Yeah?”

Bruce matched her smile. “Yeah.”

***

“So, you’re tellin’ me,” he started dubiously, looking at him. “That you and Ma only got together because you guys wanted to make sure Golden-boy had two parents instead of just you?”

Bruce didn’t even take his eyes off the screen as he responded absentmindedly, “That pretty much covers it.”

Jason threw his hands in the air. “There’s no way! There’s no way that shit was arranged! You two make googly eyes at one another when you think no one is watching and you kiss Ma before you go to work every day!” he looked at his brothers. “Y’all know what I’m sayin’ right?”

Tim nodded. “Jay’s got a point, dad. For an arranged marriage, the two of you are really in love.”

Dick placed a hand over his heart and smugly admitted, “You’re welcome everyone, for bringing mom and dad together in real love.”

A chorus of “Fuck you’s” echoed from Jason and Tim, and Damian placed his hands on his hips.

“When did you know you loved Umi, Father?”

Finally, he pulled his gaze from the Batcomputer, and even behind his cowl, they could see the love he had in his eyes and in his voice as he said, “Your mother and I dated for a year before we married, but the night of our wedding, we spent it at the manor and Dick crawled into our bed and spent the night wrapped in our arms.”

Bruce smiled. “I woke up early that morning and saw him curled in (Y/N)’s arms and all I could think was that I’d never loved a woman more than that moment then.” His eyes shifted to all of his sons. “And I’ve only fallen deeper in love with her with each of you that’s come into our home. You make us better parents every day and I wouldn’t change what I was given for anything in the world.”

He barely had time to breathe before all four of his sons were crashing into him, squeezing him as tears spilled down their cheeks.

Bruce huffed a quiet laugh and took a moment to brush a hand through each of his sons’ hair. “I love you, boys.”

A chorus of “I love you too’s” came back at him and before anyone could speak, they heard someone coo, “Aww, that’s so sweet!”

They spun around to see (Y/N) with her phone out, a mile-wide smile on her face, eyes shining with tears.

“Ma…what are you doing?” Jason questioned and she clicked something on her phone.

“Oh, nothing, my sweet boy,” she smiled, and all of her sons started pulling away from Bruce.

“Did you just record that?” Tim asked and she took a step back.

“I would never!” and she stared them down for a split second before spinning on her heel and hauling off towards the stairs. Her sons sprinted after her and she let out a squeal as she skipped the steps two at a time to get away from them.

“Ma come back here!” Jason shouted.

“Umi! Our dignity is on that phone!”

“I dunno, I think it’s sweet!”

“It’s not going to be sweet when she sends it to the group chat that every superhero is in, Dick! We have reputations!”

“Oh…that’s a good point, Tim. Mom! Come back here!”

(Y/N) gasped as someone’s arms wrapped around her waist and she came face to face with Bruce—well, Batman, and she yelped when he pulled her phone out of her pocket.

“Bruuuuuuce!” she whined. “Please don’t delete it!” (Y/N) reached for the phone and he held it out of reach. “Darling, my sweet darling, Bruce, please,” she plead. “If you love your wife and mother of your children, you won’t do that.”

His gaze darted to hers and she pouted, sticking her bottom lip out in the way that she knew he’d crack. “Please, my heart. Let me have a reminder of my beautiful boys.”

“You won’t send it to the chats?” he asked, and she crossed a finger over her heart.

“Cross my heart, darling.” He handed her back the phone and she smiled, leaning up to peck the corner of his mouth. “Thank you, Bruce.”

He cupped her cheek with his gloved hand, thumb brushing over her cheekbone and he pulled her into a real kiss, ignoring the exaggerated gags behind him.

“I love you,” he murmured as he pulled away from her lips. “More than you know.”

(Y/N) hummed, her eyes still closed, and she whispered, “You might love me more, but I love you most.” She opened her eyes and gazed at him. “All my boys.”

Suddenly, her phone started dinging like crazy and he stared at her, his Batman voice coming out as he surmised, “You sent it to the chat, didn’t you?”

She gave him an innocent smile and giggled, “I might’ve.”

“You’re going to pay for all the teasing that Hal and Barry are going to give me, (Y/N) Wayne,” he warned, and she scoffed.

“Oh, boo hoo, I’m so scared of what the big bad Bat is go—” a gasp escaped her when he hauled her up against his body and she stared at him with wide eyes.

A siren went off down in the cave and he looked towards the boys. “Go.” They all hurried off, complaining about the various texts they were all getting.

Bruce looked back at her, voice lowering as he growled, “After patrol I’m coming up to the bedroom and you’d better be ready, because I’m not going to stop ravishing you until you’re begging me for release.”

Something hot, tight, and fierce shot through (Y/N)’s gut and she could only flounder like a fish as he pulled her into another searing kiss before he spun on his heel and descended into the cave.

She gathered herself and called out after him, “You can’t just say something like that and then leave! That’s not fair, Bruce! Bruce, are you listening to me!”

Only his laughter echoed from below.

“Bruce!”

[imagines-for-the-fangirls-soul]

I Want You, You, You - Robb Stark

Prompt: anonymous asked, hello! can i ask a imagine with robb stark where they're both in love with each other and both they're parents plan on getting them married but they misunderstood it and thought they'd be split up? like really angst at first but then all fluff? thank you!

Pairing: Robb Stark x Reader Word Count: 1,540 Synopsis: what the prompt says 

Your chest was heaving when you fell back on Robb's fur lined bed. He chuckled at your face, his own red and coated in sweat, too, before laying down next to you.

"I love you," he said with a laugh, leaning over to kiss your forehead. You smiled at him and crawled into his arms, your naked bodies curling into each other.

"I love you," you said with a sigh. You laid your head on his chest, and for a little while, you stayed like that, peacefully wrapped together. Robb ran his fingers through your hair, focusing on the fire warming the room. But when he felt something wet on his chest, he lifted his head.

"Y/N? What's wrong?" he asked. You sniffed and sat up. You turned your head away from him as you wiped your nose. "Love, what is it?" he asked as you got out of bed, shaking your head.

"It's nothing, I should go," you said, wrapping a robe around your naked body. Robb crawled out of bed, tugging his pants on as he followed you to the door. He managed to stop in front of it before you could reach for the handle.

"Y/N," he said, his voice soft, but low. He lifted your chin with his finger until your wet eyes were looking into his. "What is it? Did I hurt you?"

“No, no, of course not,” you said weakly, the tears still forming in your eyes.

“Then what is it?”

“I-- I heard something,” you said, shaking your head. “My parents talking.” Robb put his hands on your arms, rubbing them softly.

“What did they say?”

“They want to set up a marriage for me,” you said. “And not to you.”

“Who?” Robb asked, his voice gravely low. 

“I don’t know.”

“We can fight it,” he said. “What we have . . . it’s real.”

“I know,” you said, your eyes finding his. You touched his cheek softly and frowned. “I love you, Robb.”

“And I love you,” he said, kissing your palm. “This isn’t the end. I promise. We’ll fight it any way we can.” You could only nod your head in response. “Please, stay with me tonight.”

“I will.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Robb strolled into breakfast that morning, his head held high. He knew that he was from a notable family, and that if he just pleaded his case to his parents, they would agree to the marriage, and could suggest a new proposal to your family. 

When he walked in, he smiled widely at his mother and placed a kiss to her cheek. He turned to his father and gave him a curt nod, befitting any lord.

“Morning, Robb,” Ned said. 

“You seem especially chipper this morning,” Cat said.

“I am,” Robb said. “There’s something I want to discuss with you both.” He watched his parents exchange a glance, but he held his ground. He would remain confident for this. There was no other way to convince them.

“Go on,” Ned said. 

“I am growing older, and I think it is time to become more responsible. Become a man.” Again, his parents exchanged a glance.

“What did you have in mind?” his mother asked.

“I think it’s time I married. Or, at least have an engagement set up.” He watched them both, the way Ned’s eyes narrowed at him, the way Cat’s eyes turned to her husband. “Well? What do you think?”

“Robb, we already have a marriage arranged for you,” Ned said simply.

“Since when?”

“For months now.”

“You knew about this,” Catelyn said, reaching for his hand. He pulled back, shaking his head. “We thought you would be pleased.”

“Pleased?” Robb asked, his voice cracking. He shook his head harder, forcing away tears.

“It’s been decided, Robb,” Ned said. “You’re right. It is time for you to become a man.” The way he emphasized man signified that his father was done having this conversation. It was decided.

“If you’ll excuse me,” Robb said, standing up from the table before either his mother or father could stop him.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

You searched all of Winterfell for Robb, checking all the usual places he liked to go, the training grounds, his bedroom, the dining hall, but you couldn’t find him anywhere. Finally, you ran into Arya, who told you Robb had rode out into the woods.

You mounted your own horse and made your way onto the forest trail. You rode for half an hour before you found him. And you heard him well before you saw him. His sword must have gone dull by now, by how many times he had bashed it into a nearby tree. 

“Robb,” you called gently. He turned to you, eyes wide with tears. You dismounted quickly and ran to him, wrapping him in your arms. “Tell me what happened.”

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t convince them,” he said. You nodded your head, and then shook it a moment later. A wave of confusion washing over your face.

“Why?”

“Because they already have an arranged marriage for me,” he said. You let out a string of curses that made Robb finally smile. “So what are we going to do?” he asked.

“We could run away,” you said gently. “Make our own decisions.”

“You would leave our families?”

“You’re the only family I want,” you said, reaching up to touch his cheek. But even as you said it, you knew it would be nearly impossible to abandon everyone and everything you had known. “I don’t want to lose you,” you said.

“I don’t want to lose you either,” he said, putting a firm hand on your cheek. “I’ve never felt so powerless.”

“Neither have I,” you said, falling into his chest. He wrapped you in his arms, and you stood together for a long time, knowing that it would be one of your last times.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

On your last day in Winterfell, you prepared for the feast the Starks were throwing. Your family would be returning to their lands tomorrow, and you knew this would probably be the last time you would see Winterfell, or Robb, again. 

You walked into the feast hall, and instantly your eyes found Robb’s. You could see they were bloodshot, most likely from crying.

“Why are you so solemn?” your mother asked, pulling you to her side. You only shook your head in response. “Well, I know something that’ll cheer you up.”

She led you into the room and you took a seat at the table, across from the Stark family. Your mother cleared her throat as Eddard Stark stood, indicating this is what she thought would cheer you up.

“I would like to thank our guests, our friends, for once again joining us in Winterfell this summer. It is going to weigh heavy in our hearts when we bid you all farewell, but there is something that will bring joy to both our families.

“It is with a prideful and welcoming heart, that I announce the engagement of my eldest son, Robb.”

“Mom,” you whispered, trying to stand. “I don’t want to hear this.”

“Hush,” she said, smiling up at Lord Stark. Your eyes looked across the table and found Robb’s. He looked as distraught as you felt, but there was nothing you could do, except watch as both your hearts are broken.

“It is my honor,” Ned continued, “To announce the engagement of my son Robb, to Y/N Y/L/N.”

“What?” Robb asked, standing quickly. Ned looked confused, and glanced between the two of you. 

“Mom?” you asked.

“Why do you look so upset?”

“I-- I just thought . . .”

“Thought we couldn’t see?” your mother asked, shaking her head. “Of course we wanted you two together.” You looked to Robb, still speechless, and smiled hesitantly at him.

“This is happening?” Robb asked. Ned nodded his head, and before you knew it, Robb had crossed the room and lifted you up in his arms. He spun you around once before kissing you. He pulled away with a laugh and the tears that now filled his eyes were happy ones.

“I love you,” he said, beaming.

“I love you, too,” you said, grabbing his face before pulling him in for another kiss. 

[queenshelby]

The Maid – Part One of Three

Featuring: Tommy Shelby x Virgin!Reader

Words: 5095

Warning: Smut

Summary: It was Sunday Evening and you working at a nightclub in London. This was your first job and today you were to meet an interesting man who would make you a job offer that you couldn’t refuse. When you took up the job with him, you got so much more than you bargained for.

Tag List:

@lilymurphy03  @deefigs @theflamecrystal  @chrisevanshoeee  @desperate-and-broken  @weepingstudentfishhorse  @captivatedbycillianmurphy  @fookingshelby  @livinginfantaxy  @rosey1981  @atomicsoulcollecto  @peakyboyslover  @nerdy4itall  @elenavampire21  @hanster1998  @mariapaiva13  @fairypitou  @harry-is-my-sunflower  

--------

Meeting a Stranger

‘Good Evening Sir, may I get you a drink?’ you asked as you looked up into his deep blue eyes.

‘Whiskey. Irish please’ the man said without looking at you as he lit himself a cigarette.

It was unusual for men in this establishment not to make eye contact. It was almost like he was disinterested in his surroundings.

When he lifted up his whiskey glass, you noticed his wedding band. Of course, he was married and here to cheat on his wife.

She probably no longer satisfied his needs. But what did you know? Being 19 years old and rather shy, you had never been with a man.

It wasn’t long until the mistress arrived at the bar which also was unusual. He must be a special guest if the mistress herself was taking the time to talk to him.

‘Mr Shelby, I apologise, but Laura is absent tonight. Clara might be of interest’ the mistress said.

‘Not Clara. Someone new’ he responded.

‘Of course. I will make arrangements’ the mistress said before excusing herself.

Just as the mistress had left, the man ordered a second glass of whiskey.

‘Your name is Shelby?’ you asked surprised as you served him. ‘Are you related to Thomas Shelby by any chance?’ you added.

Without a response, he finally looked up at you. His eyes widened and his facial expression changed, almost like he had seen a ghost.

‘Is everything alright?’ you asked as you didn’t receive a response to your question.

‘You remind me of someone I used to know’ he responded. ‘You just look like her’ he added.

‘So I’ve been told. It’s a shame I never got to meet her’ you said, knowing exactly that he was talking about your half sister Greta Jurossi.

Greta and her mother passed away of consumption before you were born. Your father became very upset by their passing and found comfort in your mother who he fathered two children with. You were the oldest.

Your half-sister Kitty Jurossi spoke about Thomas Shelby quite frequently as the love of Greta’s life. They had been together since they were 16 and you know that he left for France shortly after Greta passed at the age of 19.

Just as Tommy introduced himself to you and began asking you questions, the mistress returned and advised Tommy that arrangements had been made.

‘I changed my mind’ Tommy said. ‘Although, I would like Miss Jerossi to accompany me. I will cover her wages for the night’ Tommy said, causing your heart to skip a beat.

‘Mr Shelby, I am afraid to inform you that she has no experience. She is not one of our working girls. She is simply a barmaid. Although, if you insist and this is something you wish to explore further, we could perhaps come to some to an arrangement’ the mistress said.

You were speechless and felt like you were auctioned off to the highest bidder.

‘I am not intending to fuck her. I would simply like to continue our conversation, eh’ Tommy said sheepishly, catching the mistress by surprise.

‘This should be enough for her time and for you to put another barmaid on for the evening’ he added as he handed her 10 pounds.

‘Of course, Mr Shelby, thank you’ the mistress said before telling you to get your coat.

You grabbed your coat and met Tommy at the front of the club. Just as you arrived, he had lid himself a cigarette.

‘Common’ he said before you followed him to his car.

‘Where are we going?’ you asked. You were still slightly uncomfortable about the situation unfolding right in front of you.

‘A place I know’ he said as he drove off and, within ten minutes, you pulled up in front of a nightclub of a different kind. It was full of artists, a band was playing in the background and everyone enjoyed champaign and cocaine.

‘Common, have a seat’ Tommy said as he sat down with you in a somewhat private area.

He ordered you a drink and began to talk about Greta, his long-lost love. You were still unsure why you were there, with him. Whilst he asked you several questions about your life and your circumstances, it was mostly him who was doing the talking.

After several hours of talking, on the stroke of midnight, Tommy made you a proposal which was too good to refuse.

He offered you a job in Birmingham, as a maid. Apparently, his household was short-staffed and his wife needed more assistance. He was of the view that working in an up-market brothel as a barmaid was no job for a woman like you. Somehow, he didn’t know you, but he cared. He was concerned that, the longer you work there, the more likely it will become that you be asked to do more than just serve drinks.

His offer was kind and you accepted it with caveat that you had no experience as a maid.

He assured you that you will learn all you need to know on the job.

New Life

A week after your encounter with Thomas Shelby, your new life began.

You were introduced to the household and tried the best you could to settle in.

Most days, you were on your own with the other maids, Elizabeth Shelby, who was Tommy’s wife and Tommy’s two children.

Tommy’s wife Lizzie disliked you for obvious reasons. She insisted on older and experienced maids and it was evident to her why Tommy had hired you.

For a while you tried very hard to make Lizzie like you, but nothing took away the apprehension she had in respect of you.

Whilst you could understand her concerns, Tommy had never made any advances towards you. After all, you were much younger than him.

But, over the next few weeks, you learned why Lizzie was so apprehensive. Her marriage to Tommy was on the verge of breaking.

According to Sarah, one of the maids, Tommy and Lizzie were no longer sleeping in the same bedroom and she overheard Lizzie speaking to a solicitor in London to ascertain what her options were if she was to divorce him.

Sarah was of the view that there is no love between Tommy and Lizzie. There never has been.

Lizzie enjoyed the life and the money. Apparently, she used to be a working girl in Birmingham and this is how she met Tommy.

They used to sleep together, quite frequently, until one day she fell pregnant. When Tommy became a member of parliament, he married her. Clearly, he had to appear to be doing the right thing in a position like that.

Sarah herself had her eyes on Tommy and was the only other young maid who managed to stay. For some reason not apparent to you, Lizzie tolerated her. Perhaps she knew too much. After all, one of the reasons maids stayed at the Shelby household was because they were paid well, much better than in other households. Sarah was one of the few maids who had access to Thomas Shelby’s office and it was likely that she had to put a blind eye on the illegal activities Thomas Shelby engaged in.

Every Thursday Evening at 8 o’clock, Sarah would go to Tommy’s office and she would be there for an hour exactly. You timed it, right to the second, every week.

One week, you managed to quietly pass by the office on a Thursday evening at half past eight and you could hear them being intimate.

To your surprise, despite their weekly encounters, Tommy was cold towards her. He didn’t treat her differently to any of the other maids. It appeared to you that the sex they have was no more than another business transaction for Tommy.

Whilst Tommy wasn’t around much, when he was, he was different with you. He was kind and warm in his own way. You were the youngest maid in the household and even Francis said that you get away with mistakes that aren’t usually tolerated because Mr Shelby seems to have soft spot for you. Sometimes, he would even smile at you and you began to like him more than you should have liked a man his age. Sometimes, you even imagined what it would be like if it was you in Tommy’s office with him instead of Sarah.

To your surprise, after a month of you being at the Shelby house, Tommy started to call you into his office as well. You recalled the first time. It was a Tuesday evening, 8 o’clock and you were nervous.

Whilst you could imagine yourself sleeping with him, you had never been with a man before.

But, intimacy and sex was not what Tommy was after. He simply enjoyed your company and you would talk for hours, about horses, racing and politics.

Like a real gentleman, he kept his distance, offering you a drink and a cigarette while you talked and talking was all you ever did.

Sarah noticed reasonably quickly that your Tuesday night encounters with Tommy became a habit and once she even overheard you referring to him as Tommy as opposed to Mr Shelby.

Tommy insisted that you call him Tommy when you talked in private. It was not part of your work and he said that he felt old every time you called him ‘Mr Shelby’.

As another four weeks had passed, you could see the man within him who your step sister fell in love with and Kitty had spoken so highly about. He appeared to you every Tuesday evening at 8 o’clock, a different man.

Mistakes Happen

To Lizzie’s and Francis’s annoyance, you made many mistakes. Burnt toast was just one of them. But none of that bothered Tommy.

As it has happened, one day you even managed to break an incredibly expensive vase as you paid more attention to Tommy getting dressed through the crack of his bedroom door. It was a sheer accident which probably wouldn’t have happened if you paid more attention to what you were doing at the time rather than Tommy’s naked chest.

‘I am so sorry Mr Shelby, I didn’t mean to drop this’ you said, totally embarrassed and flustered as the vase dropped to the floor and, hearing the shatter, Tommy emerged from his bedroom.

‘It’s alright Y/N, seriously. It’s just a vase, eh’ Tommy said with a smile on his face as he bent over, helping you to collect the pieces.

‘Please Mr Shelby, I can do this’ you said with some embarrassment. Your cheeks were flushed by the sight of him, wearing nothing but his suit pants.

Tommy’s eyes gazed over to you as he picked up the pieces and it was clear to you that he noticed your flushed cheeks.

‘Tommy, what are you doing?’ Lizzie said as she observed him collecting pieces of broken porcelain with you from the floor.

‘What does it look like Lizzie?’ Tommy asked. It was clear to you that they were fighting, again. They always fought. Sometimes you wondered why they were married at all.

The constant arguing between Tommy and Lizzie was exhausting. It exhausted everyone, even the maids.

‘I’ve got it Mr Shelby, please’ you said as you put more pieces of the broken vase into a bucket.

‘See, she’s got it Tommy, now would you please see Arthur. He is downstairs yelling and Charles has started to pick up the swear words’ Lizzie said.

‘Alright Lizzie, fuck’ he said as he got up and left you to it. As you were cleaning up the last of the broken pieces, you overheard Lizzie talk to Ada about you.

‘I really don’t know why Thomas had to employ her instead of someone more experienced’ she said.

‘She looks exactly like Greta, his first ever love, that’s why Lizzie’ Ada responded.

‘Well then he should have left her at the whorehouse and visit her there’ Lizzie said frustrated before walking off.

Lizzie’s comment made you rather upset and you were beginning to feel even more uncomfortable at the house with every day that went by.

Lizzie had begun to notice Tommy’s favouritism towards you and it was clear to you that she did not want you around.

After another two weeks, you couldn’t bare it any longer and decided to resign. The tension between you and Lizzie had become too much to tolerate.

You handed your written resignation to Tommy at noon on a Monday and, just as he read it, he walked to his office door and closed it behind him.

‘Sit down Y/N, have a drink’ Tommy said, causing you to flush.

‘Common’ Tommy said as he poured yourself a glass of whiskey, neat, before sitting down on one of the arm chairs.

You sat down across from him as he handed you the glass of whiskey.

‘I cannot accept this’ he said as he took a sip from his glass.

‘Tommy, I cannot continue to work for you. I am not suited for this job and I am fairly sure that neither your wife nor Francis like me very much’ you explained.

‘That might be right but, in the end of the day, I make the decisions, eh’ Tommy said. ‘And I would like you to stay’ he added.

‘Why? You can easily find a better maid’ you laughed.

‘Because you are smart Y/N and I enjoy your company. Please’ Tommy said.

‘Alright, I will give it another month and then reconsider’ you said.

‘Good’ Tommy smiled. ‘I see you tomorrow at the usual time?’ he asked, causing you to nod with a smile.

It was difficult for you to deny Tommy especially since your attraction towards him was growing, becoming almost unhealthy in a way. Why would you feel like this around a man who was twice your age? You wanted him and stayed around in the hope that he would offer you more than employment.

And just like this, with Thomas Shelby in the back of your mind, you went on with your work.

It’s Fucking Tuesday

Tuesday evening approached quickly and you couldn’t wait to see Tommy.

At 8 o’clock, you sneaked into his office as usual, barefoot and without knocking so that no one would notice.

Little did you know that, that evening, you would reveal a lot more to Tommy than you had initially anticipated.

As such, after two glasses of whiskey and a couple of cigarettes, you spoke honestly about your political views. You too were in support of communism and felt as though Tommy had lost his way in his political campaigns for the Labour Party.

‘The good old cause, eh’ Tommy laughed after you outlined to him where the Labour Party went wrong in your opinion. ‘You know Y/N, you remind me of someone, someone who was just as idealistic and passionate about changing the world as you are’ he added.

‘I’ve been told that before, by my father. He used to get rather frustrated with us both’ you said.

‘Kitty said that you were idealistic and in favour of an armed revolution once yourself. But then she told me that all of this changed after the war. The same Tommy never came back from France. You had changed. But I am not sure if I am willing to believe that’ you added.

‘No one came back Y/N’ Tommy said. ‘The war changed everyone’ he added.

‘That is true but, I think that the Tommy she spoke so highly about many years ago is still in there somewhere. I’ve seen it. You are still a man with ideals and a man who cares, even if you don’t want to admit it. If you didn’t care, I wouldn’t be here’ you said as you walked over in front of where Tommy was sitting in order to fill up your glass of whisky.

For a moment, you placed your empty glass on to the desk besides him and kneeled down in front of him.

‘You are a good man, Tommy. A good man who does bad things sometimes where necessary and the world needs more men just like you’ you said before you leaned in and pressed your lips onto his.

Without the two glasses of whiskey, you would never have been able to build up the courage to do this, but there you were, kissing Thomas Shelby.

Tommy gave into the kiss for a moment, his lips dancing with yours but his hands not leaving his chair.

‘This is wrong Y/N’ Tommy said as your lips drifted apart.

‘Yes’ you said before pressing your lips back onto his for a short moment. ‘Yes, it is’ you added and, just in that moment, Tommy leaned forward caressing your face and returning the kiss.  

This is what you wanted for so long, his lips on yours and your tongues exploring each other.

After about a minute, Tommy pulled away, looking into your dark eyes.

‘This is a bad idea Y/N’ Tommy said again, still cupping your face.

‘Well, then tell me that you don’t want me and I will leave right now’ you said.

‘I want you alright, but you are half my age’ Tommy said.

‘So what? You are Thomas Shelby, you can have whoever you want’ you said and, just like that, your hands reached for the buckle of his belt, undoing it slowly.

You could hear Tommy inhale deeply and knew exactly that he likes to be pleasured this way. You had never done any of this, but the working girls at the brothel spoke about it frequently. Sometimes, you saw them do it, in a quite corner of the club or the lavatories if the men liked to be watched.

‘Have you ever done this before?’ Tommy asked, looking down at you, his hand tangled in your hair. He could tell that you were nervous and completely out of your comfort zone.

You shook your head shyly and, as much as Tommy wanted to feel your mouth on his cock, he wanted you to feel entirely comfortable with what you were doing.

‘Come up’ he said, taking your hands and guiding you up towards him before pressing his lips onto yours for a passionate kiss.

‘You don’t want me to?’ you asked as you broke the kiss and Tommy buckled up his belt.

‘Trust me, I want you to’ Tommy smirked, cupping your face again.

‘But not like this’ Tommy said before giving you another kiss.

Just after your lips drifted apart, your eyes wandered downwards where could see Tommy’s erection pushing against his pants. He clearly was ready and you wondered why he stopped you.

‘Tomorrow, after 10 o’clock, in your room. If you want me to come, you leave your bedside lamp on. I will see the light through the bottom of the door. If you don’t want me to come then turn it off and I won’t, alright?’ Tommy said.

Tommy wanted you to be sure about this. Not influenced by whiskey and not in the heat of the moment.

You agreed to his suggestion and, after a few more kisses, you left his office.

A Night to Remember

The next evening, after you finished work for the day and had dinner, you made your way to your room. You had a bath, washed your hair and got dressed in some lingerie.

The fire was lid and, just as instructed, you left on the bedside lamp. It was only 9 o’clock and you had to wait another hour before Tommy would meet you. You tried to kill the time by reading a book, but you couldn’t think about anything but Tommy and what was about to happen.

You wondered what it would be like to be with a man, especially a man like him. He was clearly experienced. Nonetheless, you were worried that it would be painful.

Five minutes to ten, you put the book that you weren’t really reading aside and put on some perfume. You wanted to smell nice for him.

You positioned yourself on the bed, seductively. Your black lace underwear was highlighted by the light of the bedside lamp. Your hair was open, your curls running over your shoulders. Your porcelain pale skinned was complimented by the dark red lipstick you had borrowed from one of the maids.

Waiting impatiently, just as the clock stroke ten, you could hear the door opening.

‘You look beautiful’ Tommy smirked.

‘Just for you’ you said shyly, taking in a deep breath as Tommy walked over towards you.

He was wearing nothing but underpants and you couldn’t help but stare at his perfect body.

It wasn’t long until he climbed onto the bed with you and his lips met yours for a passionate kiss.

The kiss was urgent and his lips tasted like sweet whiskey. He took his time, his hands roaming over your body while his tongue was dancing with yours.

It wasn’t long until he found the clip of your bra and he opened it with ease.

‘If I would have known that it would come off so quickly, I wouldn’t have spent half my weekly wage on it’ you giggled.

‘Just an unnecessary piece of fabric’ Tommy chuckled as his fingers began to trace the lines of your body, curving around your now naked breasts, stroking and teasing your nipples.

His lips soon moved from your mouth down to your neck and then all the way to your breasts.

‘Mmhm’ you moaned as he began to bite your nipples gently while his hands roamed downwards to your stomach and then your lace panties.

Tommy hooked his thumbs in your panties and slowly drew them down your legs, leaving you totally exposed.

While kissing over your breasts gently, one of his hands moved directly in between your legs and his index finger traced through your wet slit, dipping into slightly.

You inhaled sharply and tensed up suddenly and unintentionally. Tommy could feel your body become stiff and your legs closing around his hand.

‘Do you want me to stop?’ Tommy asked as he moved upwards slightly, worried that this was too much too soon for you.

‘No Tommy, I want you’ you said desperately before pressing your lips back onto his.

‘Please’ you then said again as your lips drifted apart.

‘Alright. I will take it slow and you will tell me if I hurt you or if you want me to stop. Agreed?’ he said, causing you to nod.

And just like that, his lips met your again before he started to trail kisses down your body.

Just as he reached your stomach, he stopped and lowered himself further, right in between your legs.

Tommy hooked one of your calves around his shoulder and then started kissing up your ankle, your calf, your knee.

You had no idea what he was doing until he got closer and closer to your already soaking wet mound.

‘Tommy, what are you doing?’ you asked nervously. His face was so close to your most intimate parts that you flushed from embarrassment.

‘You’ll see’ he smirked just before, all of a sudden, he dipped his tongue to meet your sex.

‘Oh god’ you cried out, partly from pleasure and partly from the exhilaration of a sensation entirely foreign to your body.

He drew lazy circles around your clit, making your legs twitch of their own volition. Your hand nestled in Tommy’s hair, stroking it as you moaned.

Tommy adapted quickly, gauging your moans and learning your sweet spots.

While his tongue circled over your client, he carefully and slowly pushed a finger into you.

You tensed, but relaxed quickly as you couldn’t feel any pain.

He began to thrust it in and out in time with the rhythm of his tongue.

You felt dizzy, quivering with anticipation as heat pooled deep in your belly.

You whimpered, whispering "please" over and over again as you felt yourself on the verge of exploding. No orgasm you had ever given yourself had been like this—it felt electric.

Tommy could soon feel your walls tightening around his finger and increased the speed of his thrusts.

You clapped a hand over your mouth and screamed as you came, your back arching, legs shaking, hips grinding against him. Even after you were past your highest peak, you felt the energy tingling, jolting through you, inspiring little sighs.

When you opened your eyes, you saw him grin, wiping your nectar from his face with the back of his hand.

‘I think you are ready now eh’ he smirked before taking off his underpants.

He was large, larger than you had imagined.

You took in a deep breath, knowing exactly what was to come next.

Tommy could see the nervousness and concern on your face.

‘Don’t worry, I will go slow and we can stop at any time, alright’ he said as he positioned himself in between your legs.

‘Tommy, are you sure it will fit, I mean…’ you said nervously and, before you could finish your sentence, Tommy interrupted you with a mild chuckle.

‘It will fit Love’ he said before his lips met yours again for passionate kiss.

As he was kissing you gently, he positioned his cock at your entrance and began to press just the head into you.

It felt warm and moist.

Tommy’s normally-cool countenance was wide-eyed and intense as he began pushing into you.

Your breath hissed out in tandem as he began to stretch you open and you couldn’t help it but hold onto his upper arms tightly.

Pushing into you inch by inch, you groaned when he finally met the resistance of your hymen.

‘Tommy, please’ you moaned as you squeezed your eyes shut and braced yourself for what was coming.

Tommy leaned forward, slowly pushing through the resistance.

You both struggled to contain your yelps of pain and pleasure as he tore through you.

Your eyes welled up with tears as your recovered from the white-hot sharpness, but before long it was replaced by a feeling of blissful fullness. You fluttered open my eyes and gave him a lazy smile.

‘Are you alright?’ he asked, holding still, allowing you to adjust to his size. His voice was throaty and intense.

‘Yes’. I feel so... fucking... full’ you giggled and, just like that, he began to push deeper, then rocked his hips back out.

He thrusted in a slow, deliberate rhythm, working his cock into you inch by inch.

Every new thrust stretched you out beyond what you thought you could handle.

He looked down in a moment of surprise as your hips began to grind against him, trying to work his cock in and out of you. He chuckled, re-positioning himself for leverage, and began to fuck you.

He began with slower, shallower strokes, finding his rhythm and stretching you out. You could tell that he wanted to go faster, but your walls were gripping too tight for him to pound you just yet without hurting you.

You could see the hunger in Tommy’s features, feel it as his hand tangled in your hair and gave it a sharp tug.

The tug distracted you and gave him the opportunity he needed to thrust hard and deep into you.

You cried out, and the lingering pain in your body was suddenly replaced by explosive pleasure. You threw your arms around his neck and he drew his hips back before pounding you with another powerful thrust, and another, and another.

The sensations—the sound of your bodies slapping together, the smell of sex, the feeling of his body pounding into you—collided suddenly in a violent eruption, and you couldn't contain your cries of pleasure as you came for the second time.

Your pleasure and the feel of your walls spasming around him sent Tommy into overdrive.

He pounded you harder and harder, before tensing and releasing his seed inside you with a shuddering roar.

You both gasped for breath, covered in sweat, hearts racing from the heat of your encounter. His lips met yours in a deep kiss, and you tasted yourself again on his tongue.

‘You are so fucking beautiful’ Tommy said in between kisses before he finally pulled out of you, causing some of his cum mixed with some of your mildly blood-stained juices leak on the sheet.

‘Will you stay with me for the night?’ you asked as you pressed your cheek onto Tommy’s warm chest.

‘You know I can’t’ Tommy said as he ran his hand through your hair.  ‘But I’ll stay until you fall asleep eh’ he added before pressing his lips onto to yours yet again.

And so he did, he stayed with you until you drifted off to sleep.

The Aftermath

The next morning, you woke up early. Somewhat sore but full of energy.

Tommy didn’t have to tell you that, what happened last night, had to remain a secret.

Nonetheless, you hoped that you would have an encounter like this with him again soon.

To your surprise, when you got dressed, you noticed the stains on the white sheets.

You pulled them off quickly and decided to get them into the wash before the other maids had to use the laundry facilities.

As you walked into the laundry room with your sheets, you saw Sarah.

‘You are up early?’ you asked surprised.

‘Charles was sick last night and I have to clean his sheets. I think he doesn’t tolerate cows’ milk to be honest’ she said.

‘What about you?’ she asked.

‘Washing my sheets before it gets too busy’ you said shyly.

‘Didn’t you just wash your sheets?’ Sarah asked, taking them off your hands.

‘Sarah, please, let me’ you said. ‘It’s this time of the month’ you said nervously, lying of course, but trying to justify the somewhat small but obvious stains on your sheets.

‘Don’t worry, if I can clean up vomit, I can clean up anything. Despite, you don’t know how to use the new machine’ Sarah chuckled.

With reluctance and embarrassment, you agreed but, just as Sarah placed the stained sheets into the basin, she noticed a familiar scent. Tommy’s aftershave.

‘You know Y/N, you might want to see a doctor’ she said.

‘Why is that?’ you asked.

‘You said that it’s the time of the month for you. You had your menses ten days ago. That’s not normal don’t you think? Unless there is something else you have to hide Y/N?’ Sarah said sharply.

[mysticalrambling]

Hey there😄😄I hope you are doing well...You did my last request so fabulously🤩🤩So I'm back with another request😅😅It's another arranged marriage request and I think its the most bizarre request I ever had so please be patient with me😂😂 and you can decline the request if you don't feel so😅😅...Ok so here it goes..

*Steve and y/n are required to get married under the marriage law, he doesn't wants to but being the good soldier he obeys the government....they get married but steve is cold towards his wife...his teammates tell him to give his marriage a chance but he ignores them...Then the accords happen and without a care he leaves his wife behind who is heartbroken seeing all this..Then after 2 years he sees her but again he feels nothing but after the snap when he saw losses around him and he gives his marriage a second chance, he starts being civil to his wife and cares for her but they never consumated their marriage...When the time heist becomes successful Steve consumates his marriage with the reader out of happiness and she thinks all is well...Everyone returns from snap and no one dies...But steve returns the stones and stays in the past and old steve comes back.... Heartbroken Y/n refuses to meet him and leaves the compound...turns out she was pregnant with Steve's baby and doesn't wants the old steve to know so...One day old steve sees pregnant y/n who is around 7 months pregnant and realises its his baby, he apologizes but she ignores and turn away from him... He goes to get help from Scott bcz he wants to be with his wife and son now bcz he and Peggy couldn't have kids, everyone thought steve was selfish...But then he tells the truth that he never wanted to stay in past, but when he went to say goodbye to peggy, she abducted him and broke the timetravel apparatus and forced him to stay in the past...Young Steve comes back and now his son is born who is around 8 months old...He attempts to get back with his family but his wife still ignores him and doesn't let him come near her or her son...Steve regrets for not loving his wife in the past and also volunteering for returning the stones...Then one day powerbroker (Sharon) blasts the house where steve's family lived thus killing his family, in way to revenge her aunty peggy...Steve is left with nothing but pain and regret....*

Regretting His Decisions (S.R)

A/N: Thank you so much lovely and I loved the plot line. I loved writing about it and I made a few additions to the story. Hope you like it.

Steve Rogers Fanfiction (Fanfiction Master List)

Summary: You and Steve get married and he is really rude to you. Then he leaves you behind and goes back to Peggy but he doesn’t realise that you are pregnant. However, Sharon kills you and the baby to avenge her Aunt Peggy and Steve is left with nothing but pain and regret.

Warnings: Angst all the way.

._._._._.

Steve never wanted to marry you or anyone else for that matter. But the government wanted it and like a good Captain, he listened to them. It was the stupid law and he wanted to wring the neck of those who made it. The protectors of the world had to get married so that the world sees them as fellow citizens instead of humans with super powers.

All the Avengers knew that Steve was hesitant to get married and he was doing out of duty. They knew that it was unfair but they all had met you. They all loved you instantly and knew that you and Steve would hit it off. However, the only problem was that he refused to meet you. The only thing that he knew about you was your name and your job occupation. Apparently, it wasn’t worth his time to get to know his to be wife.

“You need to give it a proper chance before you form an opinion.” It was the night of your bachelor party and while everyone is blackout drunk, Steve and Tony just sat on the side couch. For a person who was getting married tomorrow, Steve looked miserable and Tony couldn’t help but interfere.

“I am doing my job and that’s all that matters.” Taking a quick sip from his glass, he didn’t even wince at the liquid burning his throat.

Sighing, Tony filled up his glass again. A drunk Steve was better than a sober one, in his opinion. “A marriage is not a job and you need to try harder.”

“You don’t get to have an opinion, Tony. You got the perfect girl and the perfect wedding.” Jealousy coursed through his veins when he realised that everyone got to be with the love of their loves while he was stuck with someone who he barely knew.

Tony was left speechless and before he could come up with a response, Steve got up from his place and made his way towards his room. Calling it a night, he dreaded the next morning. He was happy for all of his friends but he also wanted to fall in love over first coffee dates, first movie nights, the first kiss and the moment he proposed because he loved you. Not because he was obligated too.

“You ready, Stevie?” Bucky was trying to be supportive but the headache was killing him. The tequila was literally seeping out of his pores. “How are you not hungover right now?”

“I didn’t drink like a maniac last night.” Adjusting his bow tie, he took a deep breath. This was the most difficult thing that he was going to do in his life and he just wanted to be left alone for sometime. “Can I have a moment alone?”

“Are you going to run if we leave you alone?”

“I am not a quitter and you all know that.” They all filed out of the room and he just sat down on the sofa and gave himself a prep talk.

You were no better on the other hand but you were ready to give it a try. Captain America was a good man and he would make a good husband. At least, that’s what you thought. You understood that the marriage was not happening under the best of circumstances but you could give it a fair chance. Taking a deep breath, you went to join your father on the doorway. He gave you a tearful smile and linked his hands with you.

“Do you take Steve Rogers as your lawfully wedded husband?” The minister asked the much awaited question and you quietly responded with an ‘I do’. During the whole ceremony, you wanted him to look at you but his eyes kept wandering. You passed it off as nerves but little did you know that he was so repulsed by the idea of this marriage that he refused to look at his wife to be.

“You guys are finally married. Treat her well, Rogers.” Fury took you both in a bear hug while your husband just hummed in response. You were like a daughter to Fury and that is why he recommended you as Steve’s spouse. He knew that Steve was an honorable man so he would fulfill all his duties as a husband.

The whole night was spent with you both smiling and engaging in conversations with the guests. However, you both made minimum effort to talk to each other except a few stolen glances. Your feet were killing you by the end of the event but you were never the one to complain. A look of relief appeared on your face when Steve announced an end to the event and thanked everyone for coming.

“Come on.” Hurriedly meeting his steps, you sat in to the passenger seat and those were the last words that were exchanged between you. When you entered the house, he took you straight to a guest room and then left. Whatever expectations that you had for tonight were crushed and so you went to bed with tears in your eyes and your wedding dress still on you.

During the next few weeks, Steve didn’t even glance at you but whenever you made an effort to do something nice for him, he shot you off. He was not willing to give it a chance and for the first few times that you made him dinner, he just picked it up and threw it in to the trash. You were never allowed in to his room and you learned it the hard way.

One day, you just wanted to put his laundry in to his room because he was not home yet. What was the harm? But boy, were you wrong. He came home early that day and he bursted at you the moment he saw you in his room. He called you some very mean things that you do not even want to recall. That night, you cried so much that your entire pillow was soaked but you didn’t want to leave him. You were in love with him way before you were married. He was the guy who saved the world and he was a good and an ethical man. Maybe he wasn’t nice to you but he was a good man and you couldn’t disagree with that.

It wasn’t that you needed a man in your life or you were dependent on him. It was that you had feelings for the man and your parents never raised you to be a quitter. You were still hoping that it all may be alright in a few days or weeks and you could have a family together. She knew that she had to be realistic but sometimes a girl wanted hope.

“I won’t be coming home for a few days.” At least he had the courtesy to tell you this time that he was going. "I have asked some of the agents to check up on you daily so if you need anything, just ask them."

"Okay." You quickly dismissed his questioning stare because he thought that you would ask questions. However, you knew that he would be rude and you would snap at him this time. A girl could only handle so much.

A week had passed and you got daily updates from Liam and Noah regarding the civil war. You still couldn’t believe that Tony and Steve were fighting because you witnessed their friendship firsthand. They had just informed you that Steve and his team were arrested by the government and shipped off to a black sight. You wanted to go to Fury and ask him to release all of them but Liam told you that it wouldn’t work. It was out of his hands.

“What do you mean?” You couldn’t believe your ears right now. Fury came by your house instead of Liam and Noah. He informed you that Chris and the other Avengers escaped from the prison and no one knows their location. Hurt was one of the most evident feeling running through your body and you didn’t know how to respond. How could he leave without telling you anything? How could he just leave?

“There will be some investigations on you but it would be nothing serious.”

“Why?” You exclaimed.

“The government is convinced that you know their location. It will blow over in sometime.”

“I am not going to sacrifice my freedom for someone who wasn’t even bothered to tell me about all this.” The hurt quickly turned into rage.

“But (Y/N)-”

“Tell all of them that I will not be doing anything and that you all should leave me alone.” You stood up and Fury took it as his cue.

Closing the door, you don’t let yourself ponder over the throbbing ache in your chest and instead get to packing. You were going to move out of this house and leave this life in the past. You moved into your parents house and immediately shot down their questions about Steve. There was a bookstore across from a studio apartment that Tony helped you find in the next few days. You loved books and the job paid pretty well. Soon, you forgot all about Steve and your failed marriage. Of course, there were feelings that you had to bury deep inside of you but you successfully managed to move on with your life.

“Have you heard, munchkin? Cap is back.” Tony shuffled your hair as he entered the library.. Pausing for a minute to absorb his words, you got right back into arranging the magazine section. It was the last thing that you had to do before you got off for the night.

“I don’t care. Are we still on for the night?”

“Yes. Pepper is cooking for the first time. Just say that you like the food.” From the past two years, Tony has been your person. He was the one who ordered you food when you were feeling too low or who massaged your feet when you had feet sores from lugging around books all day. You were thankful to have him in your life because he was not there to support you financially, he was there to support you emotionally. Sometimes, you felt so alone that you thought you might go into depression. But he was there to pull you back and so was Pepper. They were your family.

“Okay, Tony. I already know.” Quite a few things have changed over the years such as you changing your hair color to low lights and getting bangs. You changed your sense of style and. now you were pretty much unrecognizable. It was all in hope of leaving the past and turning over a new leaf. And you were somewhat successful.

“So how was the food?”

“Awesome!” The fake, shrill voice was hard to recognise, even for you but you didn’t want to hurt Pepper’s feelings.

“I know it was not good so I ordered some pizza as a back up.”

“I love you.” A chorus sounded from Tony and you as you both hugged her and kissed her on either cheek.

“Yeah, yeah.” She quickly dismissed you both but the cheeky grin on her face was hard to hide. You called it a night when you started feeling sleepy and you said your goodbyes. Your apartment was only two blocks away so you decided to take a walk to clear your head. Steve had been on your mind since the time Tony mentioned that he was back. As much as you wanted to believe that his arrival didn’t effect you, you couldn’t deny all the feelings that came rushing back in.

“Robbins Library, how may I help you?” Without looking up, you asked the question in a fake, chirpy voice.

“Why are you not at the house?” The voice startled you from your receipt checking and you gave him a confused look. As you had time to process the question, you looked over his appearance. More muscular and a fully grown beard was an interesting look and definitely suited him.

“Well, it was not mine to begin with.”

“I left you that house so you would be comfortable.”

“I am doing just fine without it. You know, I didn’t need anything from you but love and respect.”

Steve was trying to do something nice for you but he didn’t understand you. He felt nothing towards you even if he tried. Guilt coursed through him when he saw the look of hurt on your face but he couldn’t do anything about it. “That is too much.”

“Well, I deserve it and I am not going to settle for anything less.” This time, the brain won the battle and you were secretly glad. You resumed your work and he left without saying another word.

The city was in chaos in a few days because there was an alien invasion in place. The Avengers were all over the problem but Pepper and you were panicked. However, the only difference was that she could ask about Tony’s whereabouts and you couldn’t do that for your husband. There were no updates for you and when Noah came to get you both with a battered suit, you were worried.

Walking towards the tower, you realised that many people were crying but the most important thing was that it looked like half of the population was gone. There were a lot of things that you didn’t understand right now but only one thing mattered. One person. Steve. You ran towards the tower and when you saw him sitting on a chair with his head in his hands.

“What happened?” The logical part of your brain started working right on time.

“We couldn’t prevent the snap and Thor escaped.”

You didn’t know what it all meant but it was definitely something bad. “So what does it mean?”

“It means that half of the human population have disappeared. It means that half of our friends, families, loved ones have disappeared. It means that I have failed!”

“Why are you getting angry at me?”

“Just leave me alone.”

“Do not speak to me like that. I do not deserve it. When you are in the right frame of mind, come talk to me.” You were not the person that suffered silently. You were the person who knew. what she wanted and how she should be treated.

Going outside, you called your parents but it just went to voicemail. However, busy they might have been, they always picked up their phone. So you knew that they were gone too. You were alone in this world and you didn’t know what to do. In the far distance, you saw Tony and Pepper hugging and you were happy to see that your best friend was not gone.

With tears running down your eyes, you turned back and collided into a firm chest. Looking up, you saw Steve and you just wanted someone to be with you right now. That’s what Steve also wanted because he felt like a failure right now. He wanted to give the marriage another chance as he thought that it was a miracle that you both were still here after the snap. It was not fair on you but he just needed someone and so did you. It was a fair trade.

“I just don’t want to be alone right now, Steve.”

“Me too. Let’s go upstairs.” You both just silently hugged each other and kept staring out into the Manhattan skyline. You knew that he didn’t have any feelings towards you and you cared about that. But not today. Today, you wanted to just lie down and soak up in his presence because he was the only one left for you.

He brought you breakfast in bed the next morning and he took you to all the meetings. You were confused as to why he was doing all of it and when you asked him, his answer was ‘I am trying’. You didn’t get your hopes high because you knew that it would be pathetic. This was going to be temporary and you just knew it. However, you just wanted a companion so you rolled with the situation.

“We can work around quantum physics and get all of our friends back.” He informed you over the ice cream that you were sharing. A Netflix movie ran in the background because it was a Saturday and it was a routine for you both.

“That’s a really good thing.”

“We are going to do it tomorrow.”

“Nice. I am going to bed. Are you coming?” He mumbled out a small yes and picked up all the dishes to put them in the sink.

The whole day tomorrow you clinged by your phone and called your parent’s number after every fifteen minutes. You looked crazy by the end of the day but when they finally picked up, you couldn’t explain the joy that coursed through your whole body. Talking to them for hours, you promised that you would visit them and you cancelled the call.

Steve came back with a bottle of wine in his hands to celebrate. “We were successful. The world is saved. Cheers!”

“Cheers!” Both your happiness knew no bounds and after a few many glasses, you both were dancing to Taylor Swift songs. By the end of the night, you two were truly drunk and one thing led to another. You woke up the next morning with sheets wrapped around your frame and the pillow beside you crumpled but cold. You regretted the night so much because you knew that he did not have the same feelings for you.

The whole day, you spent cleaning the apartment as there were empty bottles of alcohol laying around. Then you went to the library and today was a busy day because many people wanted an update for the past five years of their lives. It kept you distracted from everything and when Tony came in, it was like the past repeating itself. He told you that Steve went to place the stones back but he came back as old.

You stopped listening to him after sometime as your mind tried to process what was happening. He betrayed you. Again. You were preparing yourself for the hurt whole day but this was totally unexpected. You knew what to do so it was a good thing. Detach yourself from the situation and do damage control. That was your motto for the next seven months and you refused to meet him even after you found out you were pregnant.

“You are in the mood of some ice cream with pickles, hmm little bean?” Rubbing your round belly, you walked towards the snacks aisle. The flavored pickle was on the top shelf but it was out of your reach. A wrinkly hand from behind picked up the jar and when you turned around to thank him, your voice was stuck in your throat. There stood your husband but the older version. The wrinkled face still held some similarities to the young captain but he had a slight hunch and grey hair.

“(Y/N), is that you? Are you- You are pregnant?” The question in his eyes was pretty evident.

“Seven months.” You curtly spoke and wheeled the trolly towards the check out. He quickly figured out the timeline and felt guilty. It was his baby and he left you alone. He caught up to you when you were bagging the groceries.

“I am sorry, (Y/N). I didn’t know. If I could change everything, I would. Please give me another chance.”

“You chose Peggy so you don’t get to come back in my life. Leave us alone. It would be a favor for this child if he never gets to know you.” Telling him off made you feel a whole lot better and you went towards your car.

Seeing you leave, Steve knew that he had to make things right. He went to the compound where all the Avengers were lounging around.

“I thought you had retired, Cap.” Peter called out from playing his video game with Bucky.

“I want your help, Scott. I want to go back to my old self.”

“Why, Captain? Got bored of the grandfather look?” Tony asked while stuffing his mouth with buttered popcorn.

“No. I just found out that my wife is pregnant and I want to be there for them.”

“That’s sweet but why? You already had your chance with Peggy.” Natasha wasn’t very happy with Steve right now but they all had the same question running through their minds.

“Peggy and I couldn’t have kids.”

“So you are using (Y/N) and this kid as a replacement. That’s just selfish, Steve.” Everyone gave him a disgusted look because they couldn’t believe that he was just using you and the child to fill a hole in his life. Not because he loved you both.

“That’s not true. I didn’t want to stay in the past with Peggy but she forced me to. She broke the time machine apparatus and I had no other choice but to accept that life.” He looked at all of them and saw that they all were listening to him. “I made a time machine the whole time I was there and when it was complete, I got the hell out of there.”

“Oh, Steve. We are so sorry. Of course, we will all help you.” Hugging him tight, Nat spoke on behalf of all the others. The machine was all ready to go so Steve stood in the middle of it with Scott. They had to go back and fixed the machine’s timing and it would take some months to do all that.

Meanwhile, you got back home and unpacked all the groceries. Your hormones were running wild at the moment as you sat on the sofa with your swollen feet on the coffee table. You wanted a companion sometimes who would massage your back or who would call you pretty when you were feeling insecure about yourself or who would bring you food at four a.m. But this was a dream and you gave up on it a long time ago. You were enough for your baby and that was a fact.

When Steve came back, 10 months had passed by. You had given birth to a beautiful baby boy after a 21 hour labour. You cried and even though you had your mom with you, you still called out for Steve. You wanted him with you and afterwards, when you held that boy in your hand, you wanted Steve to be there with you to enjoy the moment. However, it was the last time his name even came out of your month.

“Oliver, you need to eat, bubba.” The last 8 months have been a rollercoaster ride for you and you knew through Tony and Pepper that Steve had gone back in time. You didn’t bother with the details because you had another human being to worry about.

“Nooooo.” This one word was the kid’s favorite and everyone of his sentence started with it. You were interrupted in the middle by the doorbell. Picking up your child from the high chair, you made your way through the house towards the door.

“What are you doing here?” Steve looked the same age as you so you knew that the time machine trip was successful. But you saw red. He didn’t deserve you or Oliver.

“(Y/N), is- is that him?” The blubbering baby did not even pay attention to his father and kept on pulling your hair. He was an exact replica of Steve from the dirty blonde hair to the charming smile. A literal reminder for you but you loved this little boy to death.

“Yes and now go away. We don’t need you.” Looking at the baby, he regretted the day he made the decision to be the one to return the stones. He regretted the fact that he did not allow himself to love you. He regretted everything. “Do not come near us. Goodbye.”

You went on with your week as per usual with feeding Ollie in the morning and taking him to the library with you where he had his own play pen. Then getting light lunch across the street and coming back home to take a nap for a few hours. Afterwards, you both ate dinner while Oliver’s favorite cartoons played on the tv. Except for the fact that Steve was at your house, your job and your cafe from the day he came back. He tried to apologize but the years that you spent in agony was too much. It was too little, too late.

It was a Sunday afternoon and by some miracle, Steve had left you alone. He had a meeting with the other Avengers regarding Asgard today. You were just playing with Oliver on his mat as he tried to crawl towards the stuffed toys in your hands. Before you picked him up, you thought that you smelt gas. However, a loud explosion threw you in to the nearest wall and you knew that your time was here. During the last few breaths, you tried to find Oliver but you couldn’t move. Mentally calling out for Steve, your gaze became unfocused and you lost conscious.

“Wha-What happened?” Steve knew that there was a bomb blast and he wanted to hope against all hope that you both were safe. However, the two body bags wheeled out of the burnt down house had him fall to his knees.

“There was an explosion and we caught Agent Sharon fleeing the scene.”

Sharon had confessed that she wanted to have revenge on Steve for cheating on her aunt Peggy. The new family that Steve had was a disgrace to her Aunt’s memories so she murdered them. She had gone a little crazy because Peggy was the one who take care of her when she was a child and she felt that Steve betrayed her.

Steve didn’t know what to do with his life at the moment. He was left all alone and his family was snatched away from him. He didn’t get a chance to be with them and now he was left with nothing but pain and regret. Trying to convince Fury to let him go back in time and prevent the explosion was futile because Fury just told him that this would upset the balance of nature. He didn’t understand it at first but then as time passed, he did. All the toys and photos that were salvaged from the house now decorated Steve’s very lonely apartment and he never let himself forget.

This was his punishment and he was not going to run away from it. Not this time.

Hope you guys enjoyed it!!

._._._._.

A/N: I loved writing about Steve but I am no longer taking requests for some days. I actually have some of my drafts that I want to complete. You can send in requests but it will take some days for me to get to them:) Love you guys and do tell me if you want to be added to my taglist.

Taglist: @kalopsia-flaneur, @justile

Like, comment and reblog.

[carbondioxidewater]

A little bit more sensual this time (not sexually tho don't panick!)

How are we at Pt. 7 though girl-😭 I didn't want it to go on for so long. Well, it'll come to an end soon though, don't worry <3

@karamatsus 🤍

Summary: A story of Tobirama and you being in love with each other without knowing the feelings of the other one, then both being put into arranged marriages with others. (info: female s/o)

Warnings: none

Taking Too Long (Pt.7)

It was in the middle of the day when you wandered around the streets, looking for something to distract you from the fact that Tobirama was now talking to Tsugumi and her parents again, presenting your genious idea.

Looking up to the sky, the broad daylight peeved your eyes while the warmth of the sun tickled your skin. The sun wasn't the only thing that tickled you though, your insides juddered at the thought of the meeting your fiancé was situated in.

You wondered what happened in there now, if they came to terms with each other, or if they completely despised this suggestion. Your knees were shaking in angst.

What if everything would go wrong and they wouldn't agree to it, crushing your future plans and making the situation stay in the mess it is.

It was almost nighttime when you went over to Tobirama's house. You've waited the whole day for the meeting to come to an end and to find out about the conclusion they came to, but Tobirama didn't show up, and when you went to his office, he wasn't there either. How could he leave you this clueless for so long, didn't he know how nervous you were the whole day? Or did the conversation end so terrible that he didn't have the courage to spill the beans you? It stinged your belly, the thought made you just more anxious.

When you reached the house and knocked, the door opened surprisingly fast.

"(Y/N), I was just on my way to you.", Tobirama explained himself in surprise to see you.

"Where have you been all day long, I was looking for you everywhere! Don't you know how concerned I am?", you were blaming him.

"How was it? What did they say?", you asked now, impatient due to your former endurance. He smirked a bit at your fury.

"It went very well. They agreed to it. After some time of hesitation, they finally gave in."

Your face lit up immediately and a flush of euphoria came over you.

"Oh my god! I can't believe it! Finally!!! Why didn't you tell me earlier! Do you know how many scenarios I made up in my mind? I already thought of the worst!" You were happy and upset at the same time, but not really angry at him though.

"I actually wanted to go over to you this very second. But I had to take care of something first..."

With that sentence, he pulled out a small box and opened it. Inside of it was a very beautiful ring. Not a big, exaggerated one. It was simple, but with many details. The perfect ring for your relationship. The next second, he took your hand and gently pulled it over to him.

"You're still missing my ring.", he said and put it on your ring finger.

You were speechless and stood there as if paralyzed. Your heart went on a rollercoaster again, at least that's what it felt like in this moment. You did not expect this at all when coming over before, so it took you a while to process it. You didn't believe it, it felt like a dream. Since he proposed to you so long ago and you had other things to worry about this whole time, you had already forgotten about the ring. You started to blush at the thought of him actually remembering and buying it. You couldn't hold back your joy, and a wide smile built up upon your face.

"Oh my-...Tobirama, it's so pretty, thank you so much. I already forgot about it. I'm surprised that you didn't.", you expressed.

"How could I forget? I'm not that neglecting and bland." He pouted a little.

"I know you're not. I even heard you defending me in front of Tsugumi's family.", you teased him.

"You heard that? You eavesdrooped, huh? How embarassing..." He frowned and seemed utterly uncomfortable at this mention.

"It's noooot! It was so cute! It made me feel treasured...", you confessed shyly.

"Whatever...now we're official.", he vocalized and you nodded at him with a smile.

"Finally...", you whispered and he silenced for a short while.

"Which means...I can finally do this..." he said bluntly, and with that, he suddenly pulled you into his house, pushed the door close with his left arm and, by that, holding you against it.

It went so fast that you couldn't react properly and didn't know what was going on, until he took your chin into his right hand and looked deep into your eyes, before pressing his lips against yours and pulling you into a deep, passionate kiss.

You could feel the desperation that's been building up inside of the both of you for so long, and that could finally be released. His lips felt so soft, his hands so gentle, the kiss so tender and still, there was a hint of fire, it was intense, heated, burning. All at the same time.

His scent - oh god, this smell you adored so much - was on you now, merging with yours, mesmerizing all of your senses. His hand wandered along your neck, taking the back of your head and sweetly grabbing your hair to press you even tighter. Unfortunately for you, you had to let go off each other after some time to take a breath.

You were out of your mind, so many - and especially much - emotions inside of you, and you were sure you would explode any second, this extreme were they. You didn't know Tobirama was THIS good at kissing. How could he, he couldn't have any experience, you were sure you were his first kiss. He didn't let anyone be this close to him. So he must be a naturally good kisser. And that is an understatement. You've never ever felt something like this in your entire life. Of course, he was your first kiss too, so that maybe contributes to it, but you were sure that, even if you had experience, it would be mindblowing anyway.

And it was mindblowing. You couldn't think properly, only about what happened the last few seconds. It seemed like he couldn't either, just supporting himself by putting his hands against the walls and placing his forehead on your shoulder, breathing out heavily.

"Holy...", he mummered and you laughed mildly.

"That was...", you started, and the thought of it made your heart race so much that it felt like it was pounding out of your chest.

Tobirama got up and looked at you face to face, not far away from each others heads. Him being so close again made you nervous, even if you were all over each other a few seconds ago.

"Amazing...", you stuttered and got quieter at the end because his attention was all on you. He had a relieved expression on his face. Was he really unsure whether you liked it or not? Did he not know how skilled he was?

"I'm sorry, I can't think straight if you look at me like that.", you admitted and looked to the side to avoid his gaze.

"Sorry...", he murmured and let go off you.

"Are you hungry?", he asked and you shook your head, remembering the time.

"No no, I'm alright. But I think it's time for me to leave. It's already pretty late, you know...", you figured, even though you didn't want to go yet. He hesitated a bit before replying.

"..Do you maybe want to stay the night?", he asked in a careful manner, afraid of your rejection. But how could you possibly reject him? You also wanted to stay in the end.

"I'd honestly love to.", you responded happily and a warm feeling made it's way into your body again. You were going to stay at his house, as if you were a married couple already.

Isn't it crazy, you both know each other so well and for such a long time already. And yet, you're still getting flustered, are shy around each other at times, as if you were newly in love. And you are new to this love of course, but you've been in love even before you got together. But really being with a person is different than just fantasizing about it. You can really feel the other, not only in a physical way but also in a sensual and intimate one.

It's not easy to unite platonic and romantic love since there's a huge difference between those two, but if it succeeds, it's a whole different level of mutual trust and respect. And although you haven't perfectly connected those two to each other yet, your strong bond is inseparable, thanks to your former long-running friendship. You've reached this point already, even if you are still in the progress of getting used to it. This phase of love is so addicting, so enjoyable, so devotioning. And you love it.

You love the butterflies that still tingle inside you when you're having an intimate moment. And you love how different it is other times, where you just feel safe and calm and comfortable around him.

It's a balance between a young passion and mature security. The development is what is so interesting about your relationship. And you're both doing very well.

Right now, Tobirama's preparing food for you. Even though you said you weren't hungry, he knows you still want to eat something, because he's been studying you and your habits for years, just as much as you studied him, as you noticed.

You two sat down and enjoyed the food. It was like the old times, when you used to eat together a lot, but now the atmosphere was different of course, because you were in another stage of your relationship.

You had good conversations about the village, the people, politics, missions. It was soothing to talk so much to each other again, you haven't had much time for each other lately, apart from the whole engagement issue.

After the dinner you cleaned the dishes together. Although he told you to leave it to him, you insisted on helping him. It would go faster and it gave you more time to spend with one another, you said. And it payed off: For the whole evening, you exchanged many loving looks, even some smaller touches here and there, until it was getting time to sleep. It was late already when Tobirama led you to his bedroom. He gave you something to wear for the night and showed you the bathroom in which you changed afterwards.

When you came out, Tobirama has already changed. He looked at you in awe - being fond of seeing you in his clothes - then he got up and took you by your hands, slowly guiding you to his bed. You two laid down, a little awkward at first, much space staying between you.

But you loosened up eventually, started to take each other into your loving arms and caressed your skins, wandering around your bodies, exploring them. And no, he wasn't intending something nasty, and neither were you. You both had no interest in this, you weren't ready for it yet, and you both knew. So obviously, you didn't touch your intimate areas. Privacy still remained.

Your head on his chest, his arm around your waist, you stroking his arm while he caressed your hair, things like this only. Your relationship was spiritual, pure. No words were needed, you just enjoyed the presence and company of another, the warmth of your bodies filling up the both of you while feeling your hearts beating for each other.

It was calm and silent, the only sounds being the whispers of your good night wishes.

And you knew you'd probably feel awkward the next morning again, but you could feel that in this night, something between you changed. This night, your bond strengthened even more.

[iamthenightcolormeblack]

My Experience with Jane Austen Part 2: Reading the Books

In part one I laid out which books I read, which ones were my favorites and least favorites, and the adaptations I've seen. Now I'd like to talk about my reading experience.

Disclaimer: I’m not an expert, just a casual reader sharing some observations, feel free to correct me if I get some details wrong. Out of the books I’ve read I’m most familiar with Pride and Prejudice.

Let's face it. Reading Austen can be challenging and I understand why some people dislike Austen.

It's easy to perceive her novels as "boring" because on a surface level, not much happens. The characters are well-off people (in the upper half of society) who spend their time at home or traveling between social calls and it's easy to dismiss their conflicts as "first world issues." Settings are often indoors, reflecting how "confined and unvarying" the lives of the rich (especially women) were. The plots often move forward through dialogue or conversations rather than big dramatic events. The focus on marriage can also make the stories feel like antiquated relics of the past and can be hard to relate to.

The writing style is also different. There isn't much dialogue at times because Austen slips in lots of very subtle commentary or prefers to describe a character's external appearance or characteristics. Often big events like proposals are described briefly after they happen rather than during, which can make the story feel rather "dry." The books are narrated in third person and sometimes there is unreliable narration (Pride and Prejudice) where we get characters' multiple points of view, but all narrated in the third person as to give each one credibility and prove that it's hard to trust others. Austen's writing style means that readers have to fill in the blanks with their imagination. For example, she doesn't give exact physical descriptions of her characters, often relying on general characteristics like "tall," "handsome," or "amiable." In my previous reviews of Pride and Prejudice adaptations, I explored that intentional ambiguity as a big reason why the character of Mr. Darcy is alluring--because the reader forms a personal connection with the character by sketching his portrait alongside Elizabeth. The characters (their physical appearance and some of their motivations) are purposely mysterious and while it gives the reader lots of opportunities for engaging with the text, without historical/literary context for "filling in the blanks" it's easy to see the characters as stiff mannequins in strange clothing rather than human beings.

Austen as a romance writer: Her romances don't always match up with our perception of what a romance should be. Some people start Austen expecting intense emotions and outbursts of passion but become disappointed when presented with formal courting and stately dances instead. Emotions are often veiled behind dialogue and for a first-time reader it can be challenging to see a romance developing. Most of the time readers have to rely on the clues given by Austen (descriptions of characters "blushing," looking "pale," or losing their composure) to detect the stirrings of love, but on a first reading it's difficult to do so when one's trying to figure out the plot and the characters. Finally, the dialogue can't always be taken literally; lots of people, including me, were disturbed when Mr. Knightley said he loved Emma since she was 13, but it was actually a joke made in response to something she said.

Her books are products of their time, and I sure am not an expert in Regency era economics or social norms. Sometimes the implications of certain actions can be lost on a reader if they don't know about the social norms of the time (I had no idea that Darcy following Elizabeth around, alone, on her favorite walk at Rosings was a sign of his love for her). Differences in social class are also very subtle and while one can generalize the characters as all "well-off" people, they are separated by many levels of hierarchy and their ideas about social position and status affect how they interact with others outside of their station. Darcy looks down upon those whom he perceives to be below him, and while Emma wants to make an advantageous match for Harriet, Harriet's lower social position means that Emma's schemes are not likely to work.

Because of the unique quirks within the novels, the reader is required to go beyond the surface level of plot and appearance and read between the lines to understand character motivations and actions. Without historical context (Regency era society having little social mobility, women having few legal rights and needing to make good marriages to secure material comfort) or literary context (the Enlightenment, 18th century Gothic novels referred to in Northanger Abbey, the birth of the novel, early Romantic writers just to name a bit) reading between the lines is nearly impossible.

So why do we read Austen? Below are my personal reasons.

The novels feature female heroines that have dignity and self-respect. It's significant that the stories focus on women who are trying to live according to their own values and speaking their own minds rather than acquiescing to societal dictates. Elizabeth Bennet is revolutionary in part because she wants a marriage based on mutual admiration and respect between two partners who know each other well, rather than an economic arrangement for a home. One could go on forever about how Austen is a feminist, but, the characters don't act like modern day feminists--they are still people of their time. However, it's easy to assume "feminist" heroines have to have "aggressive" characteristics (rebelling, fighting, defiance) in order to be labeled as "feminist." Importantly, Austen's women are allowed to be vulnerable (they cry or struggle with their emotions) without that being a shameful thing. We also see different types of personalities celebrated: Jane Bennet, who is kind to everyone, is seen in a positive light rather than shamed for seeing good in everyone. Anne Elliot, who is regarded as "old," becomes more beautiful as she gets older and has a second chance of love. Emma Woodhouse is spoiled yet confident and assertive and "not likely to be well-loved" (paraphrase of Austen's commentary on Emma). Fanny Price is a shy person but still achieves her happy ending. Her heroines are real people who have flaws and get opportunities to learn and grow so that they can make their aspirations reality.

A unique take on the universal conflict of humans versus society: Austen's characters are bound by social norms of etiquette as well as a value system that idolizes wealth and connections above all else. Persuasion is a great story in part because it focuses on how Anne Elliot learns to follow her heart and avoid being "persuaded" by others (and by society) to follow a path that will not make her happy. She's had to live with the regret of following the well-intentioned but harmful advice of others (Austen notes that Lady Russell values social connections too highly) over her own feelings and judgment, nearly losing her chance to be with Wentworth. The romances are significant in that they reinforce the dignity and self-respect of the female heroines. To a certain extent, Austen's stories are realistic in that marriage is necessary for material well-being in a patriarchal society that provides few ways for women to provide for themselves. But most importantly, she also sees marriage as a means of affirming self-respect and dignity of the women. It's one of the few parts of their lives over which they have any control because they get to choose whom they marry (for the most part, unless the marriage is arranged). Their wish to marry for love is revolutionary because they dare to aspire for something more than wealth. They want their future partners to be their equals, someone who they can love and respect (or be totally honest with them) and who will provide the same in return. This line from Emma (the 2020 movie adaptation) sums it up: "I have none of the usual inducements of women to marry. Fame I do not want. Fortune I do not want. Consequence I do not want."

The difference between outward appearances and inner character is a fascinating theme that appears in several Austen novels, most notably Pride and Prejudice, where Wickham and Darcy are foils of each other ("one has got all the goodness, the other all the appearance of it"). A lot of the villains in Austen's novels are those who deceive others about their motivations or lie for their own advantage. A common trait these villains all have is that they have a charming outward appearance that masks their true natures; they don't look ugly nor are they unpleasant (ex. Wickham having great social skills, Willoughby following the trope of the knight rescuing Marianne as the damsel in distress but leaving behind many broken hearts, Mr. Elliott being charming and knowing exactly what to say and how to act but actually a swindler). In contrast, the "good" characters are honest, even at the cost of social displeasure, use manners/etiquette to show respect rather than deceive people, and act selflessly to prove their worth (actions speak louder than words). It can be summed up this way: "don't judge a book by its cover."

Psychology: Austen very effectively described hindsight bias when sarcastically commenting on how the village of Meryton turned on Wickham after the elopement with Lydia, when previously they regarded him as an "angel of light." She also understands how easy it is to manipulate peoples' minds through confirmation bias (Wickham telling Elizabeth all the dirt about Darcy, which she eagerly takes because she hates Darcy so much). She also knows that emotions can override people's judgment: "angry people are not always wise." It's fun seeing how her people are social animals who make flawed judgments based on first impressions/emotions.

The secondary characters: Mr. Collins the clergyman is the most famous and he's so funny because of his arrogance in spite of his low social position (he keeps worshiping Lady Catherine instead of respecting God). Another great one is Sir Walter Elliott, a nobleman who is vain and constantly checks himself in the mirror (the most obvious social criticism). Also Austen understood how women insult each other: through passive aggression (ex. Caroline Bingley and Louisa Hurst talking negatively about Elizabeth behind her back). Austen's female bullies use their talent and "good breeding" to intimidate or shame others.

The romance (no explanation needed): "You pierce my soul. I am half-agony, half-hope. I have loved none but you." I love how the couples learn about each other through many spirited conversations and become slowly fascinated with each other until they realize they are in love and then have a conflict between formality and their growing passion...or they fall back in love with each other...or they are friends who slowly realize that they are more than friends...okay I'll stop talking nonsense I've been trying so hard to be semi-scholarly

Tags: @talkaustentome @austengivesmeserotonin @austengeek @princesssarisa @appleinducedsleep @colonelfitzwilliams

[marvelouslytrekking]

The Escaped Bride {1/?}

Ch 1: The Arrangement

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader Summary: An arranged marriage to your childhood best friend isn’t exactly how you imagined it but you also couldn’t say you were too upset to be marrying James Barnes.  Word Count: 1741 Warning: arranged marriage, maybe a swear word? A/N: Alrighty folks so I got this idea in like December and have been working on it since. I have quite a bit of it written and am not longer capable of keeping it to myself. Updates on this probably won’t be very consistent but I have most of it plotted so that might help. Please let me know what you think!! Feedback fuels my soul!

Series Masterlist | Marvel Masterlist

“There is no getting out of this.” Your mother told you sternly. She was not having your fits about the marriage.

“I don’t understand why I can’t choose someone to marry myself!” You huffed.

“This was set up while you were just young. You cannot back out of it now.” Your mother told you, “You two have been inseparable. I don’t know why you are fighting this so much. You aren’t going to find anyone better than James.”

“I want to have a say in my life!”

“Enough of this.” You heard your fathers voice boom from the doorway. It caused you to cringe. “You will marry James, and I will not hear another complaint from you about it.”

“Yes father,” You sighed.

“Now, James is here to see you. You will go, and be civil with him.” He informed you.

You just nodded, walking past your father to go meet James. While you were mad about this marriage, you were excited to see James. Your mother wasn’t wrong, you and James were inseparable. You truly loved James, but you couldn’t stand the idea of having to marry him, and him to not love you. You couldn’t stand the idea that he may one day resent you.

“Hello James,” You smiled, “It’s good to see you.”

“My dear,” He smiled as he saw you walking up to him. “Care to go on a walk?”

“I would love to.” You were relieved at the idea of getting out of your house and away from your parents.

You followed him down a path that the two of you had taken many times. There was an awkward silence that had settled between you. This was the first time you had seen each other since your parents told you the news of what was to happen.

“I have been made aware that you are not exactly happy about this arrangement,” James was finally the one to break the silence and you could hear a small amount of hurt in his voice at the statement.

“I am not thrilled with the idea that my whole life was planned out by someone else,” You told him, “But if I was to be promised to anyone, I guess I am glad it is you.”

James sighed at that. As teens you had spent many days talking of your futures, there was a point where you even talked of marrying each other, but one thing that was always consistent was your anger at watching friends and the older girls in your social circle getting married off without their say.

“I wish it wasn’t being forced on you either,” Bucky admitted, “But I do not care about the fact this was arranged by our parents, I want to marry you. I love you and wouldn’t want to be with anyone but you. If it hadn’t already been in the works, I would be proposing to you myself”

You stopped in place hearing him admit that to you. He stopped as well, turning to you with a look of hope in his eyes.

“I’ve loved you since we were children,” You told him truthfully, “I just couldn’t bear the thought of marrying you if you did not share those feelings. It would have broken my heart.”

“I would never break your heart,” James said with a seriousness in his voice, reaching out and cupping your face in his hands. You place your hands over his, trying to ground yourself so you don’t get lost into the love in his eyes. “Can I kiss you?”

He already leaned down, inches away from your lips but he paused, waiting for your answer. When you nodded, he closed the distance quickly, kissing you slowly.

While it may not be the first time you had shared a kiss, this was different, it was slow, meant to translate the love felt between you two. You pulled away with a smile, finding yourself suddenly very excited about being able to get married. Your marriage was now the freedom you craved and not the prison you feared it to be.

“You know the only problem I have with this?” You asked as you continued to walk, now hand in hand.

“What’s that?” James asked you curiously.

“I have to go back there and admit to both mother and father that they were right.” You groaned. You could already see the smug look your mother would have when you suddenly became happy about the ideal marriage. James laughed at your admission. “Don’t laugh at me!”

“I’m sorry love,” He raised his hands in surrender but still had a smile on his face, “I just thought you’d have a critique about me going back to sea or the church or something. I should have known it was just you being as stubborn as ever.

“You’re going back to sea soon?” You asked, suddenly worried he was going to be gone for a while again. You hated that he had joined the Navy, but you had not been able to convince him not to.

“Not until we’re married.” He told you.

“And then you will leave your new wife alone in a big house by herself?” You gave him a frown.

“I am sure she’ll find plenty of things to occupy her time.” He rolled his eyes at you, “I have been working very hard to complete a library for her.”

Your eyes lit up at that. James was always gifting you with books and the idea that he was creating a library for you had your heart swelling. “I guess she’ll survive the time without him.”

You had unfortunately made it back to your house. “See I told you, look at that smug look.” You whispered to James as you saw your mother watching you reenter the house with him.

That was the last you were able to talk to him as you were quickly whisked away after entering the house. Your mother and his were already starting to plan things and they wanted your opinion. It was all very overwhelming but you were at least now wanting this wedding, so you were able to give your opinion much more freely.

This was how the next few weeks went. You would barely be able to sneak a few moments with James before you were swept away for a fitting, or to pick flowers, or to decide on bridesmaid’s dresses. Everything was a whirlwind but you were just happy to know that in only a short time you would be Mrs. Barnes.

You were currently at your final dress fitting. The wedding was just a week away and you couldn’t be more excited to finally be marrying your childhood best friend.

“Excuse me ma’am,” One of the handmaids interrupted, “James is here and he requested to speak with you, he says it’s urgent.”

You frowned at that. You had no idea what he would deem as urgent to interrupt your last fitting.

“We are basically done here.” You told her, “Tell him I just need a moment to change and I will meet him in the drawing room in a moment.”

You took one final look at the dress before quickly signaling for everyone to help you get undressed. You got back into your normal clothes as quickly as you possibly could.

“James, what is it?” You asked as you finally entered the drawing room. He was pacing around the room which only made you more nervous.

“I am so sorry, my love,” James sighed as he walked up to you, “We must postpone the wedding.”

“Why on earth?” Your frown deepened.

“I have to go back out to sea,” He told you.

“You promised you weren’t leaving until after the wedding, James.”

“I know, and I wish I had a choice, I truly do.” The look in his eyes told you he was sincere, “There are pirates threatening a major port that we cannot lose, they need all the help they can get.”

“How long?” You asked.

“Shouldn’t be long at all,” He told you, “I will be back before you know it, and we will then get married and finally be together, I promise.”

“You better come back to me,” You said softly. The idea that he was leaving to fight off pirates left you terrified for his safety.

“I will, I could never leave you.” He leaned down and gave you a brief kiss.

“I love you,” You whispered against his lips.

“I love you too,” He replied “I can’t wait to get back to you and get married.”

“Be safe,” You told him as he broke away from you to leave.

You hated the pit you felt in your stomach as you watched him leave. You felt it every time he left to go to sea. He assured you that he knew what he was doing and he would always make it back, and so far he had but it didn’t make it any easier.

You didn’t sleep well in the nights that followed. Your mother and father had to deal with getting everything delayed but make sure it would be ready when he returned. Not only were they antsy to marry you off, they knew that is what you wanted.

You were relaxing under a tree, reading a book, trying to distract yourself when you noticed a carriage in your driveway. You watched as a man in a uniform stepped out, and you felt your stomach drop. You knew that James’ parents were over visiting with yours and discussing more wedding arrangements. You had a feeling that whatever the man was saying it was not going to be good.

You were quick to get up and rush to the door as well. Whatever news he was going to give you wanted to be in the room to hear it.

You made it into the house quickly and made your way to the study.

“I am sorry to inform you, but James Barnes was killed in action by Pirate Roberts.”

You couldn’t help the sob that slipped past your lips. You could barely comprehend the thought that James was gone. You had even been able to start your life with him and he was just dead? You felt yourself collapse but were caught by your handmaid before you hit the ground.

“No, he can’t” You sob into her side, “He promised me he would come home,”

[juniorgman187]

Things We Know By Heart (Spencer Reid Fluff)

Summary: Reader teaches Spencer how to slow dance in preparation for his wedding. The only problem? Reader’s in love with Spencer, and she isn’t the bride. 

A/N: S/O to Kyla who bullied me throughout all of elementary school. Ik you’ve probably changed since then, but you literally traumatized and tormented me for more than six years of my life. So I felt like including you in this story as, “Kayla,” Spencer’s fiancé. Tehe, I’m petty like that.  Couple: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid Category: Fluff Word Count: 6.5k

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

I think we’d all like to believe that somewhere out there is our person. And somehow, someway, they’ll get to where they need to go, right where they belong. 

With us. 

That’s what I’d like to believe. 

I’d like to think that no matter what happens along our journeys to each other, we’ll arrive at the same destination regardless. 

But that isn’t necessarily true, is it? 

Because maybe, my soulmate got lost along the way. They met somebody great, someone they think is their person, and they married that person. They had kids and eventually, grandkids with that person, even though, deep down - they knew it wasn’t right. They stayed with them anyway because their fear of being alone superseded their fear of being with the wrong person for life. 

And what am I to do when that happens? When my person finds a different person. 

Am I supposed to believe that the universe will be so kind as to give my soulmate the courage to leave their relationship behind and forge a new one with me? 

Am I supposed to expect that the world will supply me with another person, the person I’m supposed to marry? 

Or do I simply wait for my person to come to the conclusion that they’re meant to be with me after all and my naive entitlement to a soulmate is validated?

Is life really that magical? 

This is the story of what happens when your person loves a different person.

∙•○⦾☉☼☉⦾○•∙

With his hand at the nape of my neck to support my head and his other hand flat against the small of my back, he dipped me backward, leaning with me as I arched my back and bent the leg closest to the crowd, pointing my foot to elongate my leg artistically. This was our ending position so I remained in it until the song ended. The two of us bowed to thank the audience and to conclude our performance. Roses fell at our feet while the sound of applause echoed in the room. I was never a fan of being the center of attention, but there was something about this overwhelming praise that was particularly blissful. It was intoxicating. 

“I didn’t know you knew how to dance like that.” I gushed to my partner; my cheeks growing pink from the heat and the head rush I got. 

He positioned his mouth right beside my ear so I could hear his words clearly over the rowdy cheering. “There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me, Princess.” said Morgan.

A gauntlet formed to clap for us both when we walked off the dance floor. Hand-in-hand, Morgan led me back to the table through the double file line of people. The team howled with excitement when they saw me and Morgan approaching.

“So this is what you two were keeping a secret from us? That you’re dance partners?” JJ had to ask. 

“Yep. All those late nights and secret rendezvous.” Morgan said, shimmying his shoulders be suggestive of a sexual innuendo, which I was not a fan of. Out of mock offense, I chucked a small towel at him with a grouchy command to “Shut up!” 

He took the towel to the face like a champ, laughing it off and dabbing his sweat away. 

“I don’t know who was sexier up there - Princess or my Hubba Hubba!” Garcia squealed pretending to claw at Derek, reeling him over towards her. 

“You looked like a natural up there, Y/N. Were you a dancer before?” Prentiss questioned while handing me a glass of water that I desperately gulped down. 

“My mom sent me to dance classes as soon as I could walk.” I jokingly explained after gathering my hair into a makeshift ponytail and lifting it off of my neck, cocking my head to the side and fanning the back of my neck to cool down. 

“Maybe you should teach Reid how to dance before the wedding. He’s got two left feet and I don’t think he wants Morgan to teach him how to waltz.” JJ quipped, making Derek throw his head back in laughter. The thought of Morgan and Reid slow dancing would truly be something - something hilarious. I laughed, too, until Reid’s voice interrupted me.

“Yeah, that’s actually a really good idea. Would you mind, Y/N? Kayla would be so happy.” 

I thought he was joking, but his humorless expression told me otherwise. 

“You want me to teach you how to dance?” 

He pursed his lips and nodded, not understanding why I was so confused. 

“Um . . . yeah. I can do that. Sure.” My tone wasn’t very convincing, but Reid’s optimism made him oblivious to my reluctance. He smiled and hugged me with one arm around my shoulder. 

“I have to call Kay and tell her the good news.” Reid dashed away from the table, pulling out his phone to dial his fiancé. 

I darted toward JJ with fury and grabbed her by the arm, dragging her into the bathroom for privacy. 

“What the hell was that? ‘Oh, Y/N, you should teach him how to dance.’ You know how I feel about Reid!” 

Rather than giving me hostility back, she broke into a smile. “Exactly! If you spend more time alone with him, maybe he’ll finally admit to himself that he shouldn’t be marrying Kayla,”

I rolled my eyes and turned my back away from her. 

“We all know Spence would be happier with you.” 

As JJ spoke, I trudged to the nearest sink, holding onto the sides for stability as the ground below me swayed. She followed me, rubbing up and down my back comfortingly. 

“You know how he is. He keeps things to himself, until eventually they’re forced to come out. If you dance with him, maybe he’ll finally tell you he loves you without actually having to say it. Do this for him . . . and for you.” JJ gave me one last pat on the back before exiting the bathroom to leave me to my devices.

Normally, teaching a friend how to slow dance in preparation for his wedding would be sweet. It’d be a selfless gesture and an act of service for him that would show how much love there was in our friendship. In this case though, it was anything but. 

For the six months that Spencer and Kayla had been engaged, the team was relentless in trying to end it. I tried to stay out of it in case all hell broke loose, but I couldn’t escape it. No - I was at the very center of it. 

Before Reid even knew Kayla existed, he was head-over-heels in love with me. He’d ask me on coffee dates, wait by my desk for me, and he would always try to sit beside me at the round table or on the jet. It was sweet, really, but it could never go anywhere. 

I was in a committed relationship with my high school sweetheart Patrick. (Maybe Spencer had a thing for unavailable girls).

I moved in with Patrick after graduating from college, and after years of working in the BAU (and years of Spencer loving me) Pat proposed. At first, being engaged brought me so much joy, but halfway into our engagement, something changed.

I was in Wisconsin, consoling a grieving widow. She was hysterical after I delivered the treacherous news of her husband’s gruesome murder. She eventually calmed down and proceeded to ask me about my engagement when she noticed my ring. I gave her the bare minimum, fabricated a couple things here and there, but then she asked me the million dollar question. 

“Are you in love?” Her eyes glimmered with hope. 

My immediate answer was a habitual “Yes, of course.” But after seeing how deeply this widow loved her late husband, I couldn’t say in good conscience that that answer was actually true. 

That night I went to the hotel and lied on the bed, praying for clarity. 

Perhaps I wasn’t actually in love with Patrick. Maybe we’d been together for so long that it just felt safe and comfortable and familiar. Maybe it was the fear of disrupting the arrangement of my life that stopped me from ending things sooner. 

The fact of the matter was that I’d only ever known a life loving him, but that didn’t mean I was in love with him. Maybe I was settling for something with Pat, because I wasn’t sure if I could have a better relationship with anyone else. With all these doubts, I needed a sign. 

A knock on the door interrupted my inner dialogue. 

When I opened it, who else was standing there, but none other than Rossi.

“We need to talk.” He ordered. 

He followed me back into the room and sat at the foot of the bed. He said he noticed something was off about me, and I admitted that there was. So that night, I took advice I probably shouldn’t have from the man with multiple failed marriages, but it was a sign - and it was good enough.

When we returned to Quantico, I asked Hotch for some personal time, which he was happy to permit. That same night I went home and broke off the engagement with Patrick. 

I felt despicably cold when I watched him tear up and ask me, “Why are you doing this?” 

There was truly no concrete moment in our relationship that incited my decision, but it was merely the realization that being with him wasn’t right, because how could I stand there watching him beg for a change of heart but still feel nothing? 

Maybe I was much less than not in love. Maybe I didn’t feel a thing for him at all. Not hate. Not empathy. Not love. Just . . . nothing. 

Completely indifferent. 

Within the week of personal time I took, I spent most of it moving into Rossi’s guest house. After I came back from work, it took all of two hours before someone brought up the absence of the ring that I used to never take off, and I’d assumed they’d already noticed it the moment I walked in - they were just too afraid to ask.

“I ended things with Patrick.” I casually stated, not even looking up from my portfolio to give it the attention it probably deserved. 

While the rest of the team’s jaws dropped on the floor, Rossi was fighting a smirk considering this wasn’t news to him and having seen everyone else’s reactions was a priceless moment for him. 

There was a brief moment of awkward silence on the jet as the team processed my information, until finally Hotch cleared his throat and started debriefing again. In the seat next to me, Spencer was very poorly hiding his enthusiasm. Hearing I broke off the engagement was like a green light to make his move. And honestly, it was. 

So I waited. 

And I waited. 

And I waited. 

Then I waited some more for him to jump at the opportunity. 

But he didn’t. 

He never did. 

Instead, he introduced Kayla into our lives, and eventually, they’d get engaged, too. 

I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t developed feelings for Spencer while I expected him to act upon his palpable affection for me. And because of my newfangled feelings, I could never tell another soul that I sincerely believed Spencer got engaged just to spite me - to show me just how painful unrequited love was. 

The strangest part of it all, though, was that there was never a moment following the ending of my engagement and the birth of his own that showed me that his feelings went away. He never treated me differently or stopped talking to me. Even in the early stages of his relationship with Kayla, he continued to act like I was the only girl in his life. He was so consistent with his actions that it confused me.

Did he love me or not? And was I in love with him or not?

Evidently, the team seemed to have my answer. 

“He loves you and you love him. It’s as simple as that.” Prentiss explained curtly. 

Agreeing nods came from JJ, Morgan, and Garcia, who’d abducted me as soon as I exited the elevator that morning and snuck me into Garcia’s Bat Cave for an intervention. 

“We need to stop this wedding.” Garcia demanded. 

And since that glorious intervention, the team (minus Rossi and Hotch because Rossi seemed genuinely happy for Reid, and Hotch would definitely tell us it wasn’t our place) began trying to put a wedge in the relationship. I, however, made the smart choice not to be involved. 

If I was trying to get him to love me, why would I do something that would surely make him hate me like breaking up his engagement? Plus, the blind optimist in me believed that if I was actually meant to be with Spencer, it would happen regardless of Kayla. 

So anytime Morgan, JJ, Prentiss, and Garcia suggested something, I refused to participate. I was able to steer clear of any wedding crasher shenanigans up until JJ’s “slow-dance” suggestion. 

If Reid knew the true intentions behind these dance classes, he surely wouldn’t be pleased, but clearly - he didn’t. Because when I walked out of the restroom and back to the table, Reid still had a huge grin that took up half of his face, making his eyes look nearly shut. 

“Thank you again for doing this.” Reid beamed. 

“Of course! What are friends for?” 

Morgan, Prentiss, JJ, and Garcia exchanged satirical glances at my choice of words. 

What are friends for if not to purposefully set two people up in hopes of ending one person’s betrothal?

∙•○⦾☉☼☉⦾○•∙

Later that weekend . . 

“Come in!” I called out, buckling the ankle strap of my heels. 

The door opened partially and then all at once to reveal the one and only. I peeked my head out from behind a wall that was obstructing my view of him, immediately noticing a bouquet of lavender wrapped in twine. 

“Oh my goodness, what is this?” I asked in pure delight as he handed me the pretty purple flowers. 

“It’s a thank-you gift for agreeing to help me.” His lips formed a thin straight line, which was his version of a smile. A smile I appreciated whenever I was lucky enough to have caused it. 

“They’re lovely, thank you.” I told him, hugging him briefly before fetching a vase from the kitchen to put them in.

“Oh, good, I’ll tell Kayla you liked them. She’s the one who picked them out.”

The glass vase nearly shattered the moment he said that, but luckily, my reflex skills spared the vessel.

How big of a fool was I for thinking that he gave me flowers out of the kindness of his heart because he knew lavender was my favorite? But then again I probably needed that brutal reminder of why he was here in the first place - for Kayla.

As I put the vase on the kitchen island, I spun around, brandishing a fake smile. 

“So we should probably get started. I don’t wanna keep you here for too long.” 

“There’s no rush. Kayla won’t be home until late at night.” 

I tried not to think of the potential innuendo that lied within his statement, but Spencer wasn’t type to be disloyal, and I wasn’t going to be the woman to make him such a person.

“You look really nice, by the way.” I heard him say from behind me, catching a whiff of his cologne that was intoxicatingly sweet.

I did my best to not take the comment personally and let it get to my head, but I’d be lying if it didn’t elicit any response. I smiled to myself, which thankfully, he couldn’t see since my back was towards him as he followed me into my backyard. 

“You smell different.” He added. 

“Good different?”

“Yeah, absolutely. Is it a new perfume?”

I furrowed my brows. “No, it’s the same one I’ve been using for years.”

“Interesting,” I could feel him taking in this information, and I could hear the gears in his head turning at an even faster rate to spit out more information. “Did you know that you pick your soulmate by subconsciously reacting to pheromones that transmit their genetic compatibility? Yeah, there’s a relationship between attraction and scent, which dates back to our primal instinct. So if someone smells appealing to you, even if you don’t know it, it could relate to your attraction to them and vice versa.” 

“Ah, then maybe I should consider changing my perfume to improve my love life.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous. I love the way you smell.”

In the back of my mind lied the unanswered question I neglected to voice, “But do you love me?”

When we reached the backyard, I heard him gasp in awe. 

“It looks beautiful, Y/N. You did great.”  

Nestled in my backyard was a dark wooden deck, surrounded by plentiful greenery. Lining the perimeter of the shiny wooden deck were asymmetrical rocks, while above us hung strands of fairy lights that cast a sheer golden glow on the entire scene. The ambiance was not for Spencer specifically, but I was happy that he appreciated it nonetheless. 

“You ready?” 

He signaled yes by putting his thumb up and so it began.

“Alright, so slow dancing can be broken into four easy steps, but first, you gotta know how to hold your partner correctly.” 

Spencer and I took a step towards each other, and I could feel the nervous energy radiating off of him. I tried not to call attention to it, so I simply continued with my process. Outstretching my arms to form a T with my body, I guided him verbally. 

“So I’m the follower. And you’re the leader. Got it?” 

He nodded. 

“Leader puts their right hand under the follower's left armpit and cups their hand around the follower's shoulder blade.” 

He understood my instructions, and in the most awkward manner possible, he fumbled his way into the right position, albeit, not perfect. 

“Now, hold my right hand as high as my eye level without raising my shoulder.” 

Spencer was glaringly anxious, so I gave him a word of encouragement. “Hey, don’t be nervous. It’s just me, okay? And you’re doing great.”

I could see the nerves beginning to settle, translating into the conviction with which he took my hand, raising it at the perfect height. 

“Great. Just like that.” 

My praise brought out that smile in him that only ever came out on rare occasions. The kind where it’s brief, his teeth showing, a light chuckle escapes him, and he’s looking down as if he’s too shy to look at me. 

“Okay, step two is basic footwork. Leader starts with their left foot and takes a step to the left. And then your right foot is going to meet your left foot and tap. The count is one-two.” 

I watched as Spencer tried to process what I was saying. 

“Do you want me to demonstrate first? And then you follow?” 

He nodded rapidly as if saying yes wouldn’t be enough to communicate how much he needed me to lead. We broke apart so that I could turn my back towards him. I felt a cold draft blow under my dress as I spun on the ball of my feet, making my skirt flutter upwards majestically. 

I felt him watching. 

“Alright, so I’ll start and then you can catch on. It goes one-two.” 

Left foot step. Right foot tap. 

“Then three-four.” 

Left foot step. Right foot tap. 

“Then to the right this time. Five-six.” 

Right foot step. Left foot tap. 

“Seven-eight.” 

Right foot step. Left foot tap.

“And back again. One-two. Three-four. Five-six. Seven-eight.” 

My eight count continued until the click of my heels on the patio was joining by the sound of Spencer’s feet shuffling behind me. I knew if I turned around to check on him, it would only psych him out and make him more nervous, so I stayed facing forward so he wouldn’t feel that I was scrutinizing his technique. 

After a minute or so of following me, I spun back around, catching his lingering stare in the region of my hips. He tried to play it off and pretend he wasn’t, but I felt it. 

“You did really well tonight. I’m proud of you. I think that’s a good place to stop for today.” 

He thanked me with another hug, the kind where we nuzzled his face in the crook of my neck. 

God, I could feel him breathing on my shoulder. 

I tried not to not to let myself indulge in it, reasoning that this was just a way for one friend to thank another, but I couldn’t help myself when the hug lasted longer than it should’ve. I tightened my embrace around him, drawing him in closer, and shutting my eyes as if taking my sense of sight away would heighten my sense of touch and magnify this feeling I never wanted to end.

“You take care, okay?” I said, rubbing my hand up and down his back to signal we should pull away, a signal he understood.

I was the first to walk away, merely because of the worry that I might sooner cry if I had to stay under these lights with him a moment longer. 

I wasn’t sure I could do this again unless he was mine. Otherwise, I’d just be under the stars, dancing with the love of my life that I couldn’t have - feeling that feeling again, and not being able to act on it. 

Is this what happens when your person loves somebody else?

∙•○⦾☉☼☉⦾○•∙

I know I said I couldn’t do it, but I did it anyway. 

I guess that’s what love is. Doing things you don’t want to do because your care for the other person surpasses the discomfort. True love makes you do things like that, even if they aren’t in your best interest.

When he came over the next night, we danced again. Undoubtedly, he stumbled - even came close to falling - and yet, I fell in love all over again. After that, it got harder to separate dancing from my feelings. 

The next day, we had a case. He came to my hotel room and we danced in the dim golden light of the hotel room’s chandelier. God, it was so ambient and romantic, I think I fell even harder for him - if that was even possible. 

From then on, every time we were in the same place, he leapt at the opportunity to dance with me. 

“Guys, look what I learned last night! Come, Y/N! Come on, come on.” 

He waved me over eagerly with his hand, even helping me out of my seat in the round table just to speed up the process. All too excitedly, he assumed the leader’s position, and he danced me around the entire conference room in front of our coworkers. He spun me around the table, he dipped me in the doorway, he held me in his arms by the glass board. 

Can you really blame me for falling in love? 

“Wow, Y/N! I’m impressed. You really whipped him into shape.” JJ remarked with a clap. 

I hid behind a faux smile, but Spencer was too elated to recognize the deceit. He was like that now. Maybe love made him more of a fool, more naive and blissfully unaware, whereas love made me more devoted and cognizant. 

It went on like that for weeks. Practicing whenever and wherever we could. 

He’d pull me into the hotel lobby at midnight to dance - not even batting an eye at the looming presence of the receptionist. 

He’d ask me to come to his apartment and we’d dance in his living room or in the narrow hallway, just for fun. 

When we were at Rossi’s, he’d drag me to the kitchen, with Rossi’s gentle music playing in the background, and we’d sway by the fireplace sometimes. 

We danced once in the elevator when it got stuck. I never thought he’d be so fearless to do that, but he looked like he was genuinely enjoying himself, almost like he didn’t even notice we were stuck in an elevator. 

While we waited for the jet, we’d danced on the tarmac, looking like a moving bundle of clothes, our movements stifled by our thick peacoats, layers of clothes, and scarfs. 

After a dinner during cases, when we’d split a cab back to the hotel, he’d get me to dance on the sidewalk, even convincing me not to pay attention to the onlookers on the street, the honking cars, or the confused pedestrians. I was always embarrassed to be in the spotlight, but somehow with him, it was easy. It felt like it was just the two of us, dancing under that streetlight. 

I never understood why people wanted to live in a moment forever, but for the first time that night, I did. That was a moment I wanted to freeze in time. I wish I could’ve stayed there forever. There in that moment, it really felt like it was our own little world. It was easy to believe we’d end up together, and we were the ones getting married, and we were in love. 

But again, that was in that moment. In that singular, fleeting moment. And then life moved on, whether or not I was ready for it to. 

The day of rehearsals inevitably came, and I wasn’t originally supposed to be at the wedding rehearsal since I wasn’t part of the ceremony, but Spencer asked me to be there, deliberately neglecting to tell me that the reason he wanted me to come was so that I could fill in for Kayla, which had I known that, I would’ve certainly declined. 

When I walked in, the team was all there, sitting in the pews, with their heads turning to me where I was standing at the entrance of the church. It felt like an eerie nightmare that I was living out where I was Spencer’s bride walking down the aisle, and this was our wedding. I couldn’t tell you what was so nightmarish about it - probably because none of it felt right - but I was sick to my stomach when Spencer gestured for me to meet him at the altar. 

“What’s going on?” 

“Kayla had a last minute dress alteration in Norfolk and got stuck in traffic. She won’t make it for this rehearsal, but she’ll be there in time for the dinner rehearsal.” 

“So why am I here?” 

“I wanted to practice my vows on you, if that’s okay.” 

I gulped hard, trying to swallow the lump in my throat to open up my suddenly-closing airway. 

“Um, I don’t really know if -”

“Please, Y/N. I’m just nervous that I might mess up-”

How could I say no? True love makes you do crazy things, even if they aren’t in your best interest, right?

I reluctantly agreed. 

Spencer’s hands were trembling and I could see it by the way his notecards were shaking, even from the fact that he brought notecards alone, and that he didn’t already memorize his vows. I wanted to put my hands around his and hold them to settle his unsteadiness, but I knew that wasn’t my place. I figured my words would do a better job at not crossing a boundary that was already crossed.

“Hey,” I comfortingly whispered. “It’s just me, okay?” Calling back those words from the first time we danced months ago. “You don’t need those notecards. Just speak from the heart.”

And sure enough, his heart spoke. 

“When people used to tell me stories about what love felt like and what is what, they always said they fell in love with that person. Like it was sudden and all at once, but with you - I walked into love with you. With my eyes wide open, choosing to take each and every step along the way. I never believed in fate or destiny, but after I met you, I finally believed. I believed that we are only fated to do the things that we’d choose anyway. And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality. I’d find you and I’d choose you.”

My breath hitched as I got lost in his eyes and how they were looking right at me, completely unmindful of the way everyone around us saw how he spoke to me. 

I think he even got lost too, because what he said next, didn’t even seem to register in his mind before it came out of his mouth. 

“I love you . . . Y/N.” 

Gasps rang through the church, ricocheting off the high ceiling, and in that moment I knew, I knew he was going to kiss me. 

He lunged forward in the heat of the moment. Clearly not thinking straight, he held my face in his hands, and I swear to God, I could’ve kissed him back. 

I would’ve. 

“Spencer?” 

Every single head in the church turned toward the small voice, too distinct to misplace. 

“Kayla, wait!’ 

And there I stood, alone at the front of the altar, watching him run after her. 

∙•○⦾☉☼☉⦾○•∙

I sat by my phone the entire afternoon, waiting for someone - anyone - to update me. No one ever ended up texting or calling, so I figured the dinner rehearsal wasn’t cancelled. At least, in that case, my dress didn’t go to waste. 

After spending an ungodly amount of time curling my hair and putting on my makeup, even achieving a smoky eye look, I finally slipped on my navy-blue, satin, floor length dress, donning nude heels and a dainty gold necklace with a single diamond pendant that laid right on my sternum. 

It was a shame that this was a moment where I should’ve felt at my prettiest, and yet, I’d never felt so ugly. 

I was riddled with the guilt of knowing I would’ve kissed Spencer if Kayla hadn’t walked in. I felt even worse that I was so consumed by his speech that I didn’t even hear her come in. 

How long had she been standing there? Long enough to watch what I knew everyone else saw? These questions never left me. Not even when I pulled into the site of the dinner rehearsal. 

Clutching the front of my dress to walk without resistance, I came to the entrance, and opened the door to reveal . . . nothing.

Staff was removing chairs and tables. 

Waiters were collecting plates and utensils. 

And Spencer was standing in the very middle of the empty room, watching it all happen silently, like he was just the shell of a man. 

“Spencer!” I called out from the entrance, in no hurry to meet him at the middle of the room. He turned on his heels, with his hands sheepishly shoved into his pockets. 

“Gosh, I’m sorry, Y/N. I should’ve called to let you know it got cancelled, but um, Kayla broke my phone.”

“Well, it’s time you got a new phone anyway.” I chuckled, which thankfully earned a chuckle from him, too. 

“What happened, Spencer?” My voice was quiet, as if it was any decibel higher it would sound more like a scold than genuine concern. 

“She, um, she told me she needed some time to think. And I, I told her to come to the rehearsal dinner if she still wanted to get married and,” He mirthlessly chuckled. “Well, you already know.” His words were chosen carefully to deliberately avoid what he hadn’t yet come to terms with. 

She didn’t come. 

I wasn’t yet sure whether or not to console him or to berate him for what he almost did, but I chose the former. 

“I’m so sorry, Spence.” 

He looked up from the ground, still managing to avoid my gaze, by looking up at the ceiling, and pretty much everywhere my face wasn’t. 

“I understand if you want to leave right now. I just need to pay the owner and I’ll be out of here.” 

I shook my head instantly. “No, I’ll be right here. If you want me to be.” 

He bit his lip to stop a sob from escaping. “Yeah,” He nodded, cowering his head. “I’d like that a lot.” 

As soon as I saw his cheeks get red, I took it as a cue to approach him and hug him. He was grateful for my compassionate touch, immediately opening up his arms to hug me back. His embrace around me was needy and desperate, and it felt like he was clawing at my dress, acting out of anger that the fabric was stopping us from being that much closer. 

With his shoulder digging into the spot right underneath my chin, it was hard to utter the words, “You look really handsome, by the way.” I said, finally acknowledging his light beige suit and white button up shirt. 

“Thanks.” I heard him mumble into my shoulder. 

“Kayla doesn’t know what she’s missing.” 

To my surprise, he didn’t recoil, flinch, or so much as react to her name. Instead, he simply pulled away, wiping the moisture under his nose, and straightening out his suit. 

“We should . . . we should probably talk about what happened earlier, right?” 

I sighed and shook my head. “Not if you don’t want to. We can save that conversation for another day.”

He looked appreciative of my avoidance, but I knew he wanted to talk about it. 

“Hey, excuse me,” He stopped a staff member by clutching their arm gently. “Do you mind, actually? Leaving two seats behind.” 

The staff member complied, doing as he said, and leaving two chairs behind, setting one right across from the other. I took my seat, and Spencer took his.

“I probably shouldn’t have spoken from the heart, huh?” He joked, finally seeing the humor in his situation. 

“No, it was good that you did.”

“You think so?”

“Definitely. I think Kayla would’ve appreciated it.” All too quickly he responded with, “I wasn’t talking about Kayla.” 

I was talking about you, his somber eyes said. 

I looked away from his gaze immediately, trying to find a reprieve from the conversation that I was doing my best to avoid. 

“It was a really good speech. It sounded so natural. Like something you knew by heart.”

“Something I knew by heart?” He didn’t seem to understand what I meant. 

“Yeah, some things we just know by heart. Like the lyrics to our favorite song, or a recipe, how to dance,” We both chuckled at the reference. “Or . . . how to love.” 

“Do you think we know who to love by heart or do you think we make that choice ourselves?”

“I think it’s both. I think we can’t control the person we’re meant to love. That, by some miracle, we’re handed this person that complements us better than anyone else. But I also think it’s our choice on whether or not we pick them. Maybe we aren’t willing to stand the test of time and wait for our person, so we don’t pick them and settle for someone else. Or maybe we do pick them and we live out the rest of our lives together. I think that’s what makes love so special. It’s a person choosing you over and over again.” 

Isn’t that what we all want? To feel chosen?

“And what if we make the wrong decision? What if we’ve met who we’re supposed to love, but we chose to love another?” His eyes were searching within mine for the words that I wasn’t saying out loud. Out of fear that my eyes might expose me to Spencer, I looked away. 

“I think -”

Spencer cut me off. “Look at me.” 

My head didn’t move, but I shifted my gaze just as he wanted.

“When two people are meant to be, nothing and no one can end them. They may get lost a time or two on their journey, but true, real love will always conquer. Nothing can compete with them. Others can only attempt to fill a void. And eventually, the two will be reunited. That’s the beauty of true love; you always end up with the right person, at the right time, regardless of any other factor.” 

Quiet fell upon us two after I said my piece. My breathing slowed down and the knot in my stomach came undone. The lump in my throat disappeared. 

All my bodily barriers broke down. There were no more emotional walls up between the two of us anymore. I was completely vulnerable - nothing to hide me. Not even my eyelids could hide the windows of my soul. Spencer had already seen into them. 

He saw my soul, my secrets. 

“Dance with me.” He extended his hand in the air between us two. With no hesitation, I accepted his offer and followed his lead. He’d never danced so naturally before. Somehow, his stiffness had withered away. The thick tension that used to loom in the air above us two dissipated. Something new replaced the contents of the atmosphere. 

Love. 

Unbounded. 

Unrestrained. 

Unbridled. 

Limitless love. 

Spencer drew me in closer so my head could lay on his chest. Previously, I was looking at his face, but now the view was of our connected hands. My fingers were intertwined with his, and I didn’t even notice how his thumb was rubbing small circles on the back of my hand until I saw it with my own eyes. 

Had he always done that, but I couldn’t feel it until I saw it for myself? If so, what else had he been doing that I couldn’t feel?

“Loving you.” 

I removed my head from his shoulder after hearing him answer the question that I pondered silently, wondering if suddenly just acquired the superpower of telepathy.

“What?”

“Loving you. That’s all I know how to do by heart.” 

A wave of relief came over me when I realized he hadn’t read my mind, he was just simply adding to our conversation from before. 

“That’s not true,” I mirthlessly chuckled. “There’s lots you know how to do. You know thousands of chess permutations, you know how to geographically profile - you know how to dance now.” I countered playfully.

He shook his head. “I know how to do those things, but sometimes, none of it makes sense. I used to lose matches against Gideon, sometimes the comfort zone is inaccurate, and until today, I couldn’t dance very well,” He chortled. “But loving you. That always made sense. It never failed me or disappointed me and it’s so all-consuming that if I try to love anyone else - it just doesn’t make sense.”

Of all the words in my vocabulary, each of them were failing me. I was rendered speechless. Spencer cleared his throat and looked away for a moment, before finding the nerve to say it. 

“I choose you.” He proclaimed. 

So, I was right. 

There are some things we know by heart. 

Lyrics to our favorite song.

A recipe. 

How to dance . . . how to love.

And who to choose. 

“I choose you, too, Spencer.” 

. . . So to answer my question from before, is life really that magical? . . . 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

[allystyles1]

the day that ruined everything-Loki Laufeyson x reader (daisy series-part 5)

Hi people! Again, i'm sorry for making you wait too long, i just couldn't finish this. Get ready for the angst😁 Have fun reading!

my main masterlist is here!

series masterlist is here!

Loki woke up to the sound of his door closing and opened his eyes.

 

"Mother?"

 

"Yes, it's me. Don't worry." she whispered.

 

"Why are you-" he stopped talking when he realised you in his arms. Of course, you had fell asleep in his room yesterday and he didn't want to wake you.

 

"Wake her up after i leave, softly." Frigga smiled. "Did something happen?"

 

"No, we uh, we came to my room because she was frustrated with her mother and said she wanted to leave the party. Then she fell asleep while hugging me, i didn't want to wake her up. She seemed too peaceful." Loki smiled.

 

"Okay, tell her you both need to come to your father's room. Have a few minutes with her if you'd like before that." That was the least Frigga could do. She couldn't build up the courage to tell them what they had was going to be ruined in less than 30 minutes.

 

"Okay, sure. I'll see you there." Frigga nodded and left the room as quietly as possible. Loki still didn't want to wake you up, you seemed so calm, so relaxed, so happy. Your make up was obviously a little ruined but that didn't changed how beautiful you looked. Your arms were still around his body holding tightly.

 

"y/n, can you wake up?" Loki asked while kindly touching your shoulder. You mumbled something he didn't understand but didn't open your eyes.

 

"Darling come on." Loki ran his hand in your hair causing you to pull your arms back from his body and opening your eyes.

"Good morning." he smiled.

"Morning, why am i still here? My parents will kill me-"

 

"Don't worry, we'll find an excuse." You turned to him and saw the make up on his shirt.

 

"Oh i'm so sorry, i ruined your clothes. I'm sure i look horrible right now." you hid your face with your hands and he chuckled.

 

"It's okay, besides you don't look horrible at all. I don't know how but you somehow manage to look pretty any way." he pulled your hands back from your face and kissed the back of your hands making you bit your lip, trying to hide a smile.

"How did you sleep?"

 

"Nice." you answered, you couldn't think of a better word to describe it.

 

"That's good. Uh, mother told me to go to father's room with you, just fix whatever you need to in the bathroom. You know where everything is." he smiled and you nodded before getting up. You washed your face and dried it with a towel before using the bathroom. You straightened your dress with your hands and got out.

 

"We can go, unless you need to do something." It felt weird talking to him after sleeping in his arms all night. You wanted to talk about it but since he didn't say anything about it you kept your mouth closed.

 

"Okay, let's go." he got up from the bed and opened the door for you. You walked to the king's room without saying a word to each other. You weren't expecting to see both your and his parents, plus Thor there.

 

"Where were you all night? We were worried about you!" your mother pulled you away from Loki the second she saw you and started questioning.

 

"I fell asleep here, sorry mom."

 

"Sorry doesn't do it, we'll have a proper talk when we get home after this." she said angrily.

 

"Okay, what is this anyway?" you asked turning around to look at the king and the queen.

 

"I don't have any way to say this any different so i will come straight to the point, y/n, as you know Thor will be the new king in a while." Odin spoke. You nodded and he sighed.

 

"Well, since you have known each other since you were so little and get along so well, we decided you will rule with him, as his queen." You gasped, that was not what you were expecting.

 

"You decided?" you asked.

 

"Yes, it is clear you are made for each other and we wouldn't want anyone else to rule our country with our son." Odin spoke, his words felt like he cared nothing about your opinion.

 

"What if i don't think that? What if i don't want that?" you asked and your mother slapped your arm.

 

"y/n, what kind of words are those? Have some respect, it is the king you are talking to! I'm sorry my king-" your mother spoke but you interrupted her words.

 

"You can be sure i'm not sorry, did any of you think of asking me first? At least did Thor know about this?" you looked at the golden haired prince and noticed the smile in his face just then.

 

"Of course he did, but no one thought of telling y/n about it!" you shouted and your mother talked again.

 

"Well we are telling you now, aren't we? Thor will propose tomorrow at dinner, right?" she looked at Thor and he nodded. Yes, you would expect your parents and Odin to do this kind of thing but Frigga and Thor? The person you saw as your second mother and your best friend? No, you wouldn't believe they could even think of such thing.

 

"Well then i will not say yes! I don't care what you have planned, this is my life!" you shouted and ran from the room. Your parents called your name but you didn't listen and kept running until you found an empty space in the garden. This was all a dream, a nightmare.

 

"y/n, what happened?" you heard Sif ask behind you.

 

"Oh thankfully you're here. Please pinch me Sif so i can wake up." you turned to her.

 

"I can assure you you're awake, why are you crying?" she hugged you and you just cried like that for a few minutes until your breath turned a little more normal.

 

"Sif they have this plan. Odin and my parents. They-they want me to marry Thor and rule with him." you explained and she pulled her body back immediately.

 

"What?"

 

"Yes, of course i said no, because i don't love him and i know you do but how can they decide on something very important about my life without me?" you sniffed and she shook her head in disbelief.

 

"No, they can't have said that, y/n they saw me and Thor together at the party we were so happy, we danced and drank together and.. They can't. You must have misheard something."

 

"Sif i know that, they saw me with Loki too."

 

"No, no. You misheard it. No." she just continued denying it.

 

"No Sif, i didn't! It was pretty clear when they told me "Thor and i were clearly made for each other" okay?" you shouted at her without meaning to.

 

"Do not shout at me!" a tear escaped her eye and her whole body was shaking.

 

"I'm sorry, i-"

 

"No, i don't want to talk to you right now. Don't." she turned around and started to walk away.

 

"Sif!" you tried to hold her arm but she pulled it away from you.

 

"I said i don't want to talk to you! Leave me alone!" she left, now completely crying. You collapsed on the grass and stared at the way she had just left from.

 

"y/n?" you heard Frigga's voice but didn't answer.

 

"My child, please-"

 

"Do not decide to be kind at me now! I am not your child! I trusted you, i opened my heart to you, i told you i loved Loki and you went and arranged our marriage with Thor? What a motherly act, Frigga." you shouted and she stopped, waiting for you to finish.

 

"y/n, if you know me at all you will know i would never do that, and i didn't. I tried to talk to your parents and Odin about it but they were so determined to do this. I am so sorry, but please do not blame me, you know i don't have any part in it." she sat down next to you and you dried your cheeks with your dress.

 

"I'm sorry, i know, i know you don't. Sif is angry with me and i can't even think how much Loki hates me right now. I slept in his arms last night and the next day this?"

 

"He could never hate you y/n, i'm sure he'll understand you didn't know anything about it. Anyone can see how much you love him." she rubbed your back and you hugged her, trying to find comfort in her.

 

"Try to calm down a little bit, okay? We'll talk to your parents together in a bit. I promise i'll do everything in my power to not let this happen to you."

 

"Thanks mom." You didn't even meant to say it, you had never called her that before even though everyone knew you saw her like your mother, maybe even more than your actual one.

 

"Calm down my child, i promise we'll fix this." A few tears escaped Frigga's own eyes too at your words, she knew she had to help you.

[hypnomicimagines]

For Honor [Samurai!Yamada Ichiro/Reader] - Chapter 6

The silence is painful.

You can’t help but feel used, the romance having burned up so shortly after you’d gotten what you wanted. You expected more from someone like him, from someone you thought you had known though it was probably your naivety speaking now. You shouldn’t have made assumptions about a man that you had hardly known a week and you shouldn’t have pushed him to do something he was clearly having doubts about, no matter how enthusiastic he seemed in the moment. You’re left alone in the back to ponder your thoughts, only getting a word out of Ichiro when he asks if you’re hungry or if you need to stop to stretch your legs.

You just want this trip over with.

The castle loomed in the distance and though your journey had taken a turn, you almost wished you were back in the woods again. The future that was practically decided for you was now within reach when it had felt thousands of miles away just this morning. There’s a sinking feeling in your gut but you swallowed back your worry and instead presented yourself as you knew you should, standing tall and proud as you approached the royal family of this region with your chin held high. Pleasantries are exchanged while Ichiro stood off to the side to allow you some room, your eyes meeting his for a split second before you both whipped your heads in another direction. Thankfully this little action isn’t caught as the Queen is far too happy to see you, pointing you towards a room where you could change before officially meeting the prince.

You’re attended to by the lady-in-waiting who thankfully doesn’t force conversation, wiping the dirt from skin and helping you into a dress perfectly suited for you. She gave you a few compliments in an attempt to brighten your mood and things felt almost normal again, like your priorities hadn’t taken a total turn while out in the wilderness with a wild samurai. You almost wished you could tell this stranger about your journey but it was too dangerous, Ichiro might be acting like a bastard now but you’d never do something to endanger him and his brothers. Before she left the room she said to take a few more moments for yourself, giving an understanding smile before she exited.

You’re thankful to finally be alone with your thoughts yet at the same time having others around distracted you from the pain of a one-sided love. You had a difficult time falling asleep the night before with how coldly Ichiro had treated you, and the fact he woke up the very next morning acting as though nothing had happened… It set you on edge. You had never met a man like him and you had been smitten so quickly perhaps you hadn’t gotten a full sense of the reality of his situation.

You knew as well as he did that there truly wasn’t a chance, no way for this to work in your favor.

You took another deep breath, hoping the prince wasn’t a total bastard and that your marriage to him would be merciful. When you finally had your wedding night with him would he be gentle? Would he know what to do? Would he guide his hands along your body with such precision you would think he was made for making love with you? It felt wrong to think of Ichiro when you were going out to meet your husband but you supposed this was just the beginning of the challenges you’d face as royalty, being bound by duty rather than getting to live a free life.

Ichiro stood off to the side as he watched you exit the room, his duty still wasn’t over until he saw you home safely and if anything happened here under his careful watch… He didn’t want to think of the repercussions. You looked so beautiful in your new gown but then again, he thought you’d looked beautiful in anything, even a potato sack though he’s sure you’d never consider fitting in one just so he could double-check. He bit his tongue to stop himself from addressing you, knowing it would seem too casual and that there were listening ears everywhere now. He gave a slight bow and then followed behind you as you were led to a more open room, where the prince was waiting with bated breath.

Well, Ichiro thought he should be but he was rather unimpressed by the overall demeanor of this so-called royalty. He didn’t graciously kiss your hand or have a sparkle in his eye when he first saw you, instead he approached like you were any other person off the street and greeted you almost normally. You wouldn’t think this was a meeting between two people soon to be betrothed and there was lingering confusion on your part as well, a careful glance back at Ichiro for reassurance that this was indeed an odd situation

“My prince it’s-“

“Yeah, it’s nice to meet you. Just call me Samatoki if we’re gonna be doing this.” You’re even more confused, head tilted but you nodded; he was certainly unlike any other prince you met before, that was for sure. You’re fascinated by him almost immediately, wondering if this was just a test and they’d switched out the prince with some street urchin to test you. “I don’t like this at all. I want you to know that.”

“Uh, I’m… I’m sorry? Is there something I’ve done?”

“Get out.” You think he’s talking to you at first but he’s glaring at the guards at the entrance of the room, who looked rather wary but quickly ducked their heads and fled as Samatoki’s glare intensified. When his eyes trailed to Ichiro there was a moment of panic, suddenly feeling exposed and all too aware that you’d be completely at this man’s mercy should you be stuck alone with him. You gave Ichiro a pleading look and, despite the awkwardness between you, it was clear he still took his job seriously.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Ichiro’s voice is steady and calm, his arms crossed over his chest as he fixed the prince with a steady glare. “Anything you say to her can be said to me.”

“And what if I don’t want to fuckin’ talk to you?” Ichiro seemed taken aback by the curse, his wide eyes cluing you in that he hadn’t been aware of the prince’s unsavory personality. “Get lost, or I can have you thrown in the dungeons so you really can’t guard your sweet little princess.”

Ichiro seemed at a loss but you’d rather not have your only protection thrown somewhere unreachable, so you put your brave face on and address him yourself.

“Could you just…wait outside the door, please? I’ll scream if anything happens.” Ichiro wondered if that was really okay with you but he nodded, not willing to show you the same disrespect the prince had been. It was making his blood boil to think you’d be marrying someone so blatantly disrespectful but then again, he had violated you, stolen your virginity and that made him even guiltier of this crime.

“You think I’d give you a chance to do that?” Samatoki is smirking, and you rolled your eyes at the childish retort that was clearly meant just to get under Ichiro’s skin.

“As you can see the prince is nothing but a petulant child. I’ll be okay.”

Once you were alone, you felt the obligation to be proper slip away.

“What exactly is your problem?” You started off the conversation, cutting Samatoki off before he could get another word in. He regarded you with a raised eyebrow, allowing you to continue on. “I traveled for days in the most uncomfortable way possible to come here, to meet a prince who was worthy of marrying, and I’m met with a rude oaf who can’t even properly greet a lady? I’m not happy about this arrangement either but at least I know how to fake it!”

“You think I haven’t faked it my whole life? Think you’re the only one who’s ever struggled?” Samatoki shrugged his shoulders, turning away from you to look out a window that led to a garden area. You walked closer to see what he was staring at, noticing that the princess, his younger sister if you heard correctly, was outside with the same lady-in-waiting who had helped you get ready to meet him. You can’t tell which one of them he’s looking at but as soon as you open your mouth to ask Samatoki held his hand up.

“What is it?”

“Do you think you could fake being married to me for your entire life? Do you think that would make either one of us happy?” He’s regarding you with a serious expression. “Don’t bother answering now, I want you to really think about it. I’ve rebelled against my parents my entire life and don’t think I’ll stop now, but this is the last thing I want.”

“Are you one of those true romantics? The type that believes marriage should be between two people in love rather than arranged for the sake of money or territory?”

“And if I am?”

“I’d say you weren’t really the type.”

“That’s the thing then, isn’t it? You don’t know me.” Samatoki started to mess with his belt, a dagger safely harnessed to the side of his thigh. You were fascinated about why he would be carrying such a thing around but he seemed unwilling to answer your questions, at least for now, more focused on debating philosophical views that wouldn’t do either of you any good. “I’m willing to tell my parents it won’t work out.”

“You’ve hardly known me a day and you’ve already decided that?”

“It has nothing to do with you. I’m sure you’re a fine…princess.” He’s staring longingly outside again, such a vulnerable expression you wonder if he realized he was even making it. It was clear he wanted to be anywhere but here, anywhere but confined by the walls of a castle, bound to a royal duty he hadn’t asked for.

You felt a kinship with the prince, even if it wasn’t the romantic spark that had been hoped for.

“Shouldn’t we at least… Attempt a connection? I have no problem denying this proposal as well but to keep our parents on good terms I feel as though we should… pretend to get along?”

“I’ll take the blame when this heads south, you won’t have to worry about that. You’ll just have to figure out a plan on how to deal with the suitor who gets thrown your way.” You hated the truth behind his words but knew the reality was the same for him; even if you both found someone you loved, if they didn’t hold the proper title there would be no point. You wouldn’t be able to be together.

“I think I like talking to you, at least.”

Samatoki seemed baffled by that statement, but the grin on his face told you that your honesty was appreciated.

“You’re not half bad, either. Could be snootier, I’ve met plenty of uptight women in my life… Have you ever handled a blade?”

“Yes, actually.” In a very controlled environment, but still.

“Interesting. Come then, show me your skills. If we’re going to pretend, we might as well have some fun with how we spend our time together.”

[keanureevesisbae]

sugar sugar - the planning 1.0

Summary: The planning for their wedding can start 🥰

Sugar Daddy!Henry Cavill x Becky Kim (asian OFC)

Warnings: Daddy kink, cock warming, some smut

Wordcount: 4.3k

A/N: Did I go out of my way to make edits? Yes

Masterlist // Sugar Sugar Masterlist // Sugar Sugar the wedding Masterlist // Previous chapter // Next chapter 

October 1st 1 p.m.

‘Where the hell did you get that from?’ I ask Genevieve, who places a large and thick book on the table. On the front cover she wrote THE CAVILL WEDDING in beautiful pink letters  (she most likely printed it out, but okay) and I see she went out of her way with some stickers as well. Design like that isn’t really her forte, but the slight amateurism in it, makes me chuckle.

It has overdoing it by Genevieve Donahue written all over it.

‘See this as a little preparation,’ Genevieve says. ‘I want to make getting married as easy for you as I possibly can.’

I look over to Viola, who takes a sip of her drink. ‘We knew about the proposal back in July,’ she explains. ‘Henry wanted our input on the engagement ring. Gen wouldn’t be Gen if she didn’t go out of her way, already looking for certain stuff.’

Henry fixes his tie, since he is going to work, but he still hears what my friends are saying to me. ‘It’s a cute book,’ he says.

‘You already saw it?’ I ask.

‘Of course. I wanted their input on the ring, they wanted my input on their ideas.’

‘Hm, I see. Gen, I’m not gonna lie. I’m very keen on on checking out that book.’

My friends squeal and are absolutely delighted that this is happening and I am thankful they are willing to help me. I have great ideas, but my planning skills are severely lacking. Besides, calling for appointments? Those are my worst nightmares.

‘Okay ladies, I’m going to work,’ Henry says, walking up to the table where we’re all seated. He sits next to me and places his hand in the back of my neck. ‘If you need anything, just call me, okay?’

‘Of course,’ I say.

He gives me a kiss and whispers: ‘Remember, no budget, okay?’

I roll my eyes, but simply nod. Ever since we got engaged, he continues to tell me we don’t have a budget for the wedding and while that is of course amazing, it’s not like I want to spend a million dollars (if not more) on a party. Sure, having the wedding of my dreams is amazing, but I’d rather invest in a great marriage. ‘I love you, honey.’

He smiles. ‘Love you too, darling.’ He gets up, grabs the keys and as he says his final goodbyes, he walks out of the penthouse.

‘Fuck, he is so hunky,’ Genevieve says. ‘Goodness me, that ass on that man.’

Normally I’d scold her, but now I simply can’t. I let out a giggle and say: ‘And he is my fiancé!’ I obnoxiously wave my hand in front of their eyes, showing off the ring like I have been doing that for quite some time now. ‘Oh, I still can’t believe that.’

‘He is so romantic,’ Viola says. ‘I mean, we all knew he was totally smitten with you in the first place, but going engagement ring shopping with him… Gosh, it was absolutely endearing.’

‘You have no idea how nervous he was,’ Genevieve says. ‘So sweet. He kept double checking with us, because he wanted to make sure you would like the ring.’

I look at it and say: ‘I love it. It’s so bizarre. Who would’ve guessed that I would ever get engaged?’

‘I do,’ Viola says. ‘Have you seen yourself? Of course you would get engaged to the most desirable man on this planet.’

I blush. ‘Still so crazy.’

‘And,’ Genevieve continues, ‘he said no budget, so this wedding is gonna be amazing.’

‘He maybe said no budget, but I’m saying we do have a budget. I swear, if you guys cross a line—’

‘We won’t,’ the voice of reason named Viola says. ‘Promise.’

✤ ✤ ✤

Genevieve, Viola and I went through the book and thankfully my friends already did a lot of work together with some input of Henry. Genevieve told me she is gonna make an appointment for a wedding dress and bridesmaids dress fitting.

She circled in the book full of magic the venue that Henry really liked and thankfully, that was my personal favorite as well. When the two of us finally make a decision about the date, we can arrange it.

Thankfully, she (and Henry as well) is willing to make the calls. Calling makes me nervous, because I can’t see the other person’s face. Henry does most of the calls, if not all of them and while he doesn’t mind, I sometimes hate myself for not being able to put on my big girl shoes and call myself.

By the time my two friends left, I am in the penthouse by myself. Henry told me he’d be home soon and soon really is soon, because the door opens not long after I made myself comfortable on the couch, looking through the wedding book again.

‘There she is,’ Henry says as he enters the living room, ‘my gorgeous fiancée.’

I can’t help but laugh. ‘Are you gonna keep doing that?’

‘Until you and I get married, yes. After that, I’m gonna replace fiancée with wife and you’ll probably be sick of me very soon.’

‘Never,’ I chuckle. ‘Never ever.’

He sits next to me on the couch and presses a kiss on my lips. ’So, did you ladies make some progress?’

I nod and tell him that Genevieve is gonna call for some appointments, for some fitting sessions.

‘Genevieve is gonna call?’ he chuckles.

‘Don’t make fun of me,’ I say, squeezing his side. ‘Tell me, you have a date in mind?’

He simply shrugs. ‘What kind of wedding would you like, baby girl?’

‘Probably a spring wedding,’ I say with a smile. ‘Spring is gorgeous. I love spring.’

He smiles. ‘How about we get married somewhere in April?’ he suggests. ‘It’s usually nice spring weather.’

‘Yeah?’ I ask him. ‘You sure you want a spring wedding?’

‘Honey, you know what I think. I could literally get married to you any second of whatever day. Name a date and we’ll get married then.’

‘April twenty second,’ I say. ‘That sounds like a cute date, doesn’t it?’

‘April twenty second it is. Something happened on that date or…?’

I shake my head. ‘No, it’s just a cute date. Oh, wait a minute. We could do April twenty fifth, if you want the date to be significant.’

His brows knit together in confusion. ‘What happened on April twenty fifth?’

I gasp out loud. ‘You don’t remember?’

He makes a face. ‘I really don’t, I’m sorry, baby. Please enlighten me.’

‘It’s the first time I accidentally called you daddy. During the one and only driving lesson I had.’

‘Oh,’ Henry says with a smile. ‘That’s right, you did call me daddy for the first time then. That’s a great date, the two of us should get married then.’

‘Why?’

‘Because that’ll be our little secret then.’ He presses a kiss on my nose and says: ‘I remember your color drenched face. You were the human embodiment of mortified.’

‘Shut up.’ I hide my face in my hands and say: ‘The shame I felt was uncanny.’

‘I know,’ he chuckles. ‘Well, if it made you feel better, it did turn me on quite a lot.’

‘Oh dear, did you masturbate because of it?’ I joke.

His eyes dart from one point in the room to the other. ‘I might’ve.’

I certainly wasn’t expecting that. ‘No way!’ I exclaim. ‘Oh my goodness, you did? This is such a compliment.’

His cheeks turn red and says: ‘I couldn’t help it, okay. You looked so cute that day and I kept hearing the word leaving your lips. Of course I had to. But then you said it again on my birthday,’ he continues.

‘Remember what happened on your birthday?’ I chuckle.

‘How could I ever forget?’ Henry runs his tongue over his bottom lip. ‘My naughty lady wearing a thong to the club. Still can’t believe you did that.’

I giggle. ‘You always had this dominant edge to you, but that night it was totally obvious what a dom you are.’

Henry starts to laugh, but that is mostly to mask his slight embarrassment. ‘Do you have to say it like that.’

‘Of course I’m gonna say it like that.’ I straddle his thick thighs, as it’s my favorite spot to sit on. ‘You know, I actually don’t mind it at all.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘It maybe sounds a bit dependent of me on you, but I like that I can follow you through life. That you show me how to do certain stuff, how you kinda lead me through it all. Believe it or not, I need that guidance. I need you calling for me, I need you to drive me from place to place and I need your encouragement before those book events or other events that make me nervous. What I most need are your praises.’

He smiles. ‘You’re sweet.’

‘It is? You’re sure it’s not submissive in a negative sense?’

He shakes his head. ‘Absolutely not. I get it, baby, with the life you had, it can feel nicer to be guided. I will happily be that person for you.’

I give him a kiss, a sign as a thank you. ‘It’s funny how faith works sometimes, isn’t it? You and I sign up on a sugar daddy/baby site and eventually, when we finally admitted our feelings towards one another, we’re here. As an engaged couple.’

‘It sure is amazing,’ he says, pushing up my shirt to place his rough hands on my sides. ‘Did you, Gen and Viola find some inspiration?’

‘We did some Pinteresting,’ I admit. ‘To find the perfect wedding dress. And some bridesmaids dresses. It’s just that planning with Genevieve, means probably a million dollar wedding.’

‘Okay,’ he says, but I glare at him. ‘What?’

‘We’re not having a million dollar wedding. Really, I don’t want that.’

He nods. ‘Then we’ll have a less expensive wedding,’ he chuckles. ‘Just don’t worry about the money, just whatever feels good for you.’

I smile and give him a kiss. For a few seconds, something is brewing inside my brain and it rolls out before I can even overthink it. ‘Do we need to talk about a prenup?’ I ask him. For Henry this comes totally out of the blue, because his eyes enlarge. ‘Or not?’ I quickly add. ‘We don’t need to discuss it now.’

‘You and I are not gonna get a divorce.’

‘No, no, no, I know that,’ I say, ‘it’s just that I kinda thought about it already. I think that we should have it. You worked hard for your money and I don’t want to take that away from you. Besides—despite me telling you to stop—you continue to transfer money to mine, yet refuse to let me pay for myself, so you constantly hide my credit card to give me yours.’ I send him a look, causing him to grin. ‘I have enough money to start a life for myself.’

‘But baby,’ he says, ‘even if we get a divorce in the future, before that I am planning on making you the mother of our children.’

Hearing him say that, makes me involuntarily smile. A family with Henry, I cannot believe that. ‘And?’

‘You think I’m not gonna provide for my family? I would be an absolute asshole if I did that. You can count on alimony, both for the kids and you. I’ll make sure you and I can continue to live civil with each other. Really.’

I roll my eyes. ‘Henry,’ I say with a smile, ‘you are so fucking romantic.’

‘I know. So no prenup for us and don’t you dare ever saying that again.’

‘Sure?’

‘I’m absolutely sure, baby girl.’

October 20th 10 a.m.

After Henry and I agreed on the date (April 25th, a little dirty secret of ours), he called the venue we’ve been thinking about for some time. Genevieve, Viola and I are now sitting in the Range Rover, as Henry is going to drop us off at the boutique.

‘This is so exciting, wedding dress shopping,’ Gen says. ‘Just humor me and put on a princess ball gown, please.’

‘And why would I do that?’

‘I want to have a laugh and maybe, if it actually looks decent, I’ll hire you as a birthday princess for when I have daughters.’

I roll my eyes. ‘I hate you.’

‘You love me.’

Viola laughs. ‘Well, I can’t wait for you to find the dress.’

‘Me neither,’ Henry says, holding my hand in his, before pressing a kiss on my fingers. ‘You sure you don’t want me to see it?’

‘Yes,’ I say. ‘I am one hundred percent sure. I want you to be surprised.’

‘And you better cry at the altar,’ Genevieve says, ‘otherwise I’ll force her to walk down the aisle again and again and again, until you cry. I could even help you out, you know, by punching you in the nose, that’ll make you cry.’

Henry can’t hide his amusement. ‘I’ll probably be teary eyed,’ he says. ‘That’s enough for you?’

‘No,’ Genevieve says. ‘I want the real deal. Ugly cry, snot, red blotches on your skin.’

‘I don’t,’ I say. ‘We have to take pictures later on.’

‘Okay, let’s not jump the gun,’ Viola says. ‘We’ll make sure she looks stunning in the dress, Henry. We promise.’

✤ ✤ ✤

I don’t know how many dresses I’ve tried on, but I think this might be the one. The fit is simple, but that seems like something that would be totally me. It’s on the tighter side, but with the straps loosely on my shoulders and the deeper neckline than I wanted, but not overly too much, I realize this is actually could be the one.

I show my two friends, who both have tears in their eyes. ‘This is the one, right?’ I ask them.

Always overly dramatic, Genevieve grabs some tissues and blows her nose. ‘It’s beautiful, Beck,’ she says. ‘You look like such a bride. It’s so real now.’

‘Right?’ I ask with a chuckle, mostly to cover up the fact that I want to cry. ‘It’s… It’s perfect.’

Viola stands up and gives me a hug. ‘I love you, Becky,’ she says. ‘Is it April 25th already?’

‘No, time passes by too damn slowly,’ Genevieve says, before forcing herself into the hug as well. ‘You’re gonna look like an absolute vision. If Henry doesn’t cry, I’ll skin him alive in front of the altar.’

November 3rd 4 p.m.

It’s been a long day. I spend around four hours with Genevieve and Viola looking for bridesmaids dresses and there have been a few changes made. A very significant one and it is still a shock to me.

I walk into the living room, to see Henry sitting on the couch with some papers in his hands and oh dear, he is wearing his glasses. Sometimes I feel like he is doing it on purpose, looking so perfect like that.

‘I have a confession,’ I tell him.

Henry looks up. ‘And what is that?’

‘The bridesmaids dresses are not gonna be pink.’

‘What?’ Henry asks, as he is standing up from the couch. He places his hand on my forehead when he stands in front of me. ‘Are you okay? Do I need to call a doctor?’

I swat his hand away. ‘Very funny, ha-ha. Every pink dress was not in the right shade of pink, however, I found a better color.’

‘Can I see?’

‘Of course.’ I grab my phone and show him the picture I made of Viola and Genevieve. ‘It’s sage green.’

‘Oh, I love this,’ Henry says. ‘I’ll tell the tailor, to make sure that Peter and Gino wear a tie in that color.’

‘It’s so beautiful and it feels a bit more real now,’ I whisper. ‘First a wedding dress, then these dresses.’ I blink my eyes and say: ‘I’ve been a mess this entire afternoon.’

‘Not a mess, just my emotional baby girl,’ he chuckles, giving me a kiss. ‘It’s getting more and more official now. Oh, by the way, darling. Something came for you in the mail.’

I gasp. ‘Is it what I think it is?’ I ask him, following him to the table. He hands me the envelope and I start to squeal. ‘Daddy, this is the interview for Books4U.’

‘I figured. Open up, open up,’ he says, sitting on a chair, pulling me on his lap. I rip open the envelope, careful not to ruin the magazine. I go through the pages quickly, to find the my interview.

‘How is it possible for someone to look so effortlessly gorgeous in a random cafe?’ he asks. His hands traveled from my legs to underneath my shirt. He places them on my stomach and I don’t feel like I need to have suck in my stomach. It took me quite some time to get used to it, but with his sweet words, I realized I can be myself around him. No more sucking in, needing to be perfect (which I knew for a while), but simply be comfortable as much as I needed to be.

‘It’s so crazy to think that this interview was truly happening,’ I say with a smile.

‘I’m proud of you,’ Henry says, burying his face in my neck. ‘So, so proud of you.’

December 16th 3 p.m.

I joined Henry to his tailor for the right suit, but something has been bothering him for quite some time now. He hasn’t been himself this entire morning and when the tailor walks away for just a second, I decide to take matters into my own hands. I get up from the chair to walk towards my fiancé. ‘Honey, what’s wrong?’ I ask him. ‘You don’t like it?’

‘I love it, baby, I really do,’ he says blankly, staring ahead.

‘What’s with the long face then?’

‘Just realization,’ he says, as he runs his fingers through his hair. ‘I’m going to marry the most beautiful woman on the planet and I just want to look good.’

‘But you do,’ I say, placing my hands on his hips. ‘You are the most handsome man I have ever seen in my life. Don’t you worry a thing, you’re gonna look amazing.’

‘It’s silly, just forget about it.’

‘It’s not silly.’ I stand on my toes and give him a kiss. I quickly check if there is no one within hearing distance and I say: ‘I love you and only you, daddy.’

‘Always knowing exactly how to make me feel better,’ he chuckles.

‘Of course. I’m gonna be your wife. It’s my job to make you feel better.’ I wrap my arms around his waist and he presses his lips on my forehead. ‘I love the suit. Makes your toosh look cute.’

He smiles. ‘Let me change, then we’re going home, okay?’

I nod. ‘Of course. I’ll be right here.’

Henry talks to his tailor for a few more moments after he got changed and when he walks over to me, I get up from the chair, holding his hand tightly in mine. His hand is warm and protective. As we’re going towards the car, he tugs me closer, a lot closer.

Like he needs me.

Henry can’t seem to be able to forget about it, not even when we’re in the car. His hand’s on my leg, but mostly since it’s a force of habit. I hate that he is feeling like this. I wonder what made him this insecure and unsure of himself.

‘Daddy,’ I say, since we’re in the privacy of our car, ‘are you still worrying?’

‘A little,’ he says. ‘It’s ridiculous, I’m sorry.’ Henry parks the car on his assigned parking spot underneath our building and he clenches his jaw. ‘Wait here.’ He gets out of the car and opens the door, but there is something missing.

Love.

When we’re inside of our apartment, he walks towards his liquor cabinet and grabs himself a whiskey. ‘I’m gonna be in my office.’

In other words: I want to be alone.

‘Okay, let me know if you need anything,’ I say to him. He simply nods and disappears into his office.

✤ ✤ ✤

It’s been a few hours and I still haven’t spoken to him. He has left his office, to go to the bathroom and I hear he is in the shower. I don’t even knock on the door and simply march in. ‘Are you okay?’

‘No,’ he grunts. ‘Get in here.’

He is mad and clearly frustrated. Oh dear. I shred myself from my clothing and get in the shower cabin with him. He is sitting on the tile bench, his jaw clenched. I try not to notice his hardened cock, but I do. How could one not notice?

‘Come here,’ he says, not even looking at me, patting his thigh.

I turn the shower head a little, so I can feel the hot water against my skin. I straddle his lap, like he wants me to. He places his forehead against mine and sighs deeply. My arms snake around his neck, as I press my chest against his. ‘Let me in, daddy,’ I whisper. ‘Please tell me what is bothering you.’

‘I can’t.’

‘You can. You can always tell me everything.’

He groans, his fingertips digging into the soft flesh of my butt. My hand reaches in between us and I wrap my fingers around his member.

‘Want me to comfort you?’ I ask him, when he isn’t quite responsive to me pleads. ‘I can do that.’

He simply nods and I rub his fiery red tip against my clit. Henry closes his eyes as he leans his head back against the tiles. When I know I can take it, I bring him near my throbbing entrance, before he slides deep inside of me. His jaw is clenches and he grunts, both from pleasure and relief from the frustration.

I take a deep breath, getting used to his length and girth. ‘Now, tell me about it,’ I say. ‘Please, daddy. Let me help you.’

He sighs. ‘I remembered something. A picture of my parents when they got married.’ It’s obvious that Henry doesn’t want to look at me, so I pull him closer. I feel him placing his chin on my shoulder and not having to look at me, is better for him. Now he can talk to me.

‘When I saw myself in that tux, specifically for our wedding, I saw that picture again.’

‘Oh,’ I whisper. ‘Did that trigger something?’

‘It did.’

‘I’m sorry, honey. But remember, you’re not your dad. We’re not your parents. You and I are totally different.’

‘He visited me again the other day,’ he says. ‘My dad. It was right after your interview came out.’

‘Oh,’ I say, a bit taken aback from the sudden bomb he dropped. ‘Did you file a restraining order against him?’

He shakes his head. ‘No, he wanted to congratulate me on our engagement,’ Henry says. ‘It’s… It was different seeing him now. He gave me that picture I just told you about. Said to me that I had to do better than he ever did, which would be easy. When he left, I got so mad, but I had to pick you up, so I pushed it aside.’

Isn’t that typical? ‘How long ago was this?’

‘Three weeks.’

‘Henry!’

‘I’m sorry, I know I should’ve told you, but I… I couldn’t. I hated feeling like this and I didn’t want to burden you.’

I sit up straighter so I can look at him again. ‘You can never burden me,’ I tell him, in a harsher tone than I intended. ‘I need you to tell me about your feelings.’

‘I’m sorry, baby,’ he whispers. ‘Shit, I’m so sorry.’

I run my fingers through his hair and he gives me a kiss. It’s a desperate one, one that deepens. He forces me to grind on his lap, his cock already twitching. ‘What do you need?’ I ask him, knowing that scolding him won’t do him any good. ‘Please, tell me what you need.’

‘You, baby girl,’ he says. ‘I need you.’

‘Then have me.’

✤ ✤ ✤

Henry is barely showing any mercy to me. His eyes are a few tints darker, his jaw is clenched and he has a tight grip on my body. His thrusts are growing even more rough as he would bend me in a position, exactly to his own liking.

I notice the tears running over his face and place my hands on his cheeks, wiping them away. ‘It’s okay,’ I say to him, when our eyes meet. ‘It’s okay.’

His hips stutter against mine and he gives me a kiss on my lips as he rides out his high. He nearly collapses on me, without any intention of him pulling out. With no intention. I love his weight on me, I love how no matter how tired he is, he always makes sure I won’t be crushed underneath him.

‘Daddy, are you okay? Tell me you feel better.’

‘I do,’ he says. ‘I love you. I love you so much and I should’ve told you sooner. Never keeping this quiet from you. You are my girl, my lady, my wife and I should tell you these types of things. I know that.’

‘Next time something like this happens,’ I say, ‘know that you can tell me. You can tell me anything.’

‘I know that,’ he says. He turns us around, so he is on his back and I’m on top of him. He pulls the covers over our body and holds me close to him. ‘I didn’t hurt you, did I?’

‘Of course not,’ I say. ‘You needed this, I know that.’

‘It won’t happen again,’ he promises me. ‘Like the real adult I am, I’m gonna talk about my feelings.’

‘I’m proud of you, daddy. So proud of you.’