#why am I even doing this to myself | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

solciego · 1 year

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#why am i even doing this to myself #wip #highschool sweethearts #jeankasa fic #inspo

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junipersberries · 11 months

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Jesus Christ I feel like I am going mad.

#i just hate exams #why am i even doing this to myself #the anxiety is rising with each day #i kind of feel like an animal that knows the day that it will get butchered #this happens every time I have to do exams #i am not that good at studying #sometimes I just dissociate for hours #like it is morning and i blink and then it is suddenly the evening #and then I panic because I didn't really get anything done #i fucking hate this so much #i can't even sleep because my brain just goes EXAMS!!! EXAMS ARE IN A WEEK #where the hell is my mind #it just feels like i am living in some kind of alternate universe when i have to do exams #when I don't have to do exams i am just normal and happy but as soon as i have to do that shit again i am going completely off the rails #panic panic panic #i feel like i am on my way to the guillotine and i am not even a french aristrocrat #like there are two people inside of me normal june and exam june. i hate exam june she is ruining my life #i hate exams because i know that I will either fail or barely pass with a bad grade #i am just not good at this #but there is no way out #it is as if i have to relieve my worst nightmare over and over again

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butchfalin · 10 months

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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

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pebblume · 22 days

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chilshi week day 5: cuddling + kiss

stills under the cut!

#chilshi #pots n picks #potsnpicksweek2024 #chilchuck tims #senshi of izganda #dungeon meshi #my art #fanart #dungeon meshi fanart #suggestive #partial nudity (obligatory pantyshot)#45 HOURS. WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF #but seriously i am so proud of this #even tho i still can’t draw sheets rip

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max-fewtrell · 10 months

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#him being so nice to me doesn’t really help the situation tbh #ooof #we talked for a while and actually wanted to go for drinks but he ended up having to leave early #which really sucks #going to see him again next week but he’ll probably have even less time then #why am i even doing this to myself #i have to stop liking him lmaoooo #send help pls #personal

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mythicalcoolkid · 2 months

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You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side

#m/cc #mine #I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges #and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like #a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with #there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example #or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone #*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have #I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side #for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others #for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me #and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public #and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist #that's why there's so much awareness happening for it #but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people

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deathricedrawn · 2 months

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i'm ready to try

#This drawing is kind of personal to me #I recently graduated (CUM LAUDE WOOOO!!!!) and its like. not to get depressing #but when i was younger i was never sure whether i would make it to this point #When i was going through what i consider to still be like. the worst time of my entire life #This fictional character was there for me and she was something for me to latch onto and cope with #eGem helped me a lot with being able to process my emotions at the time but also helped me to reflect on myself #which i think is a big reason as to why I'm really happy with where i am with myself right now #I'm going off to uni next school year to study astronomy!!! which!!!#Im also doing because of eGem!!! She ignited this kind of childlike wonder for space for me #I love doing math and physics and whilst Im still a bit scared because. honestly i don't know whether this is what i want to do with my lif #I think i'll be okay either way #either way i wanted to draw egem again even if i haven't done so in a while because its like #i think i wouldnt be who i am without her. i think i'd be a lot worse off #so like. thank you empires smp thank you geminitay thank you egem This drawing is me expressing my gratitude #AND THANK YOU AUTISM!#empires smp #empires smp s1 #empiresblr #esmp #geminitay #art #fanart #alice.art #mcyt #mcytblr #song is andromeda by weyes blood... obv.. you guys know me by now :oP

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originalartblog · 8 months

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Apparently much-needed reminder that reposting artists' art (by saving the images or screenshotting them and reuploading them yourself) on other platforms without the artists' expressed permission and without credit is theft and an insult to their passion and craft. You are profiting (in views, in attention, in feedback) from someone else's work and ideas, who do not get that feedback for sharing their creation.

If you are an art reposter, you are a thief and I have no respect for you.

#learn basic internet etiquette i am begging but also holding a knife. yes i'm mad. more about others than myself.#do you know how many artists i have seen leave social media because their art started being reposted all over?#tip: way too fucking many #i've had many people tell me about people reposting my art on tiktok #no one ever asked to repost my art on tiktok. ever. they just save super fried bad crunchy jpegs of my art and repost them #they get 20k likes and don't even bother naming me #also a reason i started signing my name more legibly and why my blog web address is always there but apparently no one can even read that #a few people got an ok for translations on other platforms though #i'm going to be annoying with this post and reblog it a few times to try to catch the people who apparently need to be told #tiny skk adventures #nawy's comics #nawy's doodles #apparently those are reposters' favourites so here look at this

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andsewingishalfthebattle · 6 months

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Novice sewing pattern: Cut out shapes. Line up the little triangles on the edges. Stitch edges together. We've also included step-by-step assembly instructions with illustrations.

Novice knitting pattern: yOU MUSt uNDerstANd thE SECret cOdE CO67 (73, 87, 93) BO44 (63, 76, 90) 28 (32, 34) slip first pw repeat 7x K to end *kl (pl) 42 * until 13" (13, 13, 15) join new at 30 pl for 17 rows ssk 27 k2tog mattress lengthwise BO and sacrifice a goat to the knitting gods. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT "INSTRUCTIONS," I JUST GAVE THEM TO YOU

#knitting #no it's not a real pattern but I can't write one that makes sense because I have no freaking clue what any of that means #How do you make things that aren't basic rectangles #Why has every knitter I've asked for help just said 'patterns are easy; you just have to know how to read them' & then refused to teach me #Where do I even find a goat to sacrifice #How do I join the pattern cult #I am so confused #I've been knitting for almost a decade but I can only make scarves and potholders #I learned one (1) stitch by watching a YouTube video and none of my friends or family knit so I have no IRL resources #And nobody I meet seems to want to take the time to explain the rest to me #I taught myself to sew through trial and error but that doesn't really work with knitting because error is pretty much just... Unraveling?#Anyway sorry for the tag rant I'm just frustrated that I see pretty things I want to make but the instructions are in an alien language #And the gap between 'absolute novice' and 'intermediate' seems to be about 20 years of experience and formal instruction

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egophiliac · 2 months

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