#whumpee jihoon/woozi

[fairyniceyeah]

💎🐸I want to hold your hand

Title from Shadow (SEVENTEEN)

Summary: “By the time the ambulance arrived he was barely conscious anymore and he was so feverish. He seemed to be in so much pain, he was holding Jihoonie’s hand so tightly that it was turning white."

CW: emeto, hospital, panic attacks (mentioned)

Sickie: Minghao Whumpee: Seungcheol/S.Coups + Jihoon/Woozi) Caretaker: Seungcheol/S.Coups + Jun + Soonyoung/Hoshi + Jihoon/Woozi + Seungkwan

“Hyung, don't freak out.”

Seungcheol, of course, freaked out.

What else was he supposed to do? He hadn’t expected a call from Hoshi, who was supposed to be on a schedule with Woozi, Minghao and Seungkwan until late at night. 

Heart pounding in his chest, he fled the dance practice room where he had been with Jun and Dino, helping them with their practice with a watchful eye. He didn’t even manage to mutter an apology to them. 

Once outside he leaned against the wall, bowing forwards to hold himself up with one hand on his knee, the other holding his phone in a white-knuckled grip to his ears. He could hear how awful, how ragged and fast his own breathing was. But he couldn’t help it. It wasn’t Hoshi’s style to call, especially not during a schedule and not with those words. He was used to them coming from Mingyu who had broken something again or maybe even, without the formal speech form, from Jeonghan after he had been too mischevious for his own good. 

“What’s going on, Soonyoung-ah?”, he asked, trying to steady his breathing. It wouldn’t help if he fell into a panic attack himself.

Hoshi seemed to think along the same lines. “Are you okay, hyung? Breathe.”

“I’m okay”, Seungcheol pressed out, “Soonyoung-ah, why am I not supposed to freak out?”

Hoshi sighed and replied: “We had to call an ambulance for Hao. A manager and Jihoonie are with him. The paramedics think he has appendicitis and decided to take him to the hospital.” 

Seungcheol felt his head swim. Minghao. Hospital. Appendicitis. And he hadn’t been there. Of course he knew that Hoshi and Woozi, especially combined, were able to take care of the younger members well, but still the leader wished he had been there. Maybe he … no. There was nothing he could have done.

“Hyung, you still there?”

“Yeah, umm…”, Seungcheol swallowed, licked his dry lips, “what happened?”

💎

“I’m sorry”, Minghao apologized, curled into himself on the chair some staff had brought for him. Jihoon was kneeling in front of him, patting his mouth with a damp towel. Seungkwan was standing behind the sitting dancer, rubbing his neck in a comforting way. Hoshi, not wanting to crowd the sick member, stood to the side, holding a bottle and a plastic bag just in case. “I didn’t mean to ruin the take.”

“You didn’t ruin anything, hyung”, Seungkwan instantly protested, “you’re sick. It’s not your fault.”

“Kwan-ah is right”, Hoshi added, bowing to a staff member who brought an ice pack wrapped in a towel in thanks. He handed the ice to Seungkwan who placed it onto Minghao’s neck. “You should have said you felt this sick earlier.”

Minghao hadn’t looked great when he had climbed into the car that morning, wincing and in pain. When Woozi had asked, he reluctantly told them he had a stomach ache since the night but he would be fine. And he had seemed better. Well, until he had suddenly rushed off in the middle of a scene to throw up to the side of the filming location. Luckily they had been outside, so not much damage was done - though maybe some to Minghao’s pride when he realized that all staff had watched him puke. 

“Still, I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing, Hao”, Woozi grumbled with fondness in his no-nonsense voice especially reserved for stubborn maknae-line members. And if he had to admit it, also towards Hoshi. “How are you feeling now? Is your stomach still hurting? Still feeling sick?”

“Yeah”, Minghao mumbled, unconsciously tightening the hold he had on his stomach. “To both. But give me a few minutes, then I can continue.”

Woozi and Hoshi exchanged a worried glance. They both were reluctant to let their sick dongsaeng continue working but they also knew that filming could not just be halted for an upset stomach. Nearly all thirteen of them had fought through stomach related issues for work before, filmings, MV shootings, concerts, interviews, you name it. If any accommodations could be made, they would be done before the member could ask for them, but what could they do for Minghao?

“Do you want another painkiller, Minghao-yah?”, their manager asked, finally speaking up. He was as worried as the members were, they knew that, but the responsibility and pressure of the shooting rested on his shoulders. 

“Another?”, Hoshi echoed.

“He asked for one earlier”, the manager explained. Minghao nodded in agreement to that statement but then said: “No, thank you. I … I feel too queasy to take anything right now, I think.”

“Are you sure?”, Seungkwan asked, playing with Minghao’s hair now, “it might help you feel better.”

“Yeah”, Minghao breathed out. It was clear he was still really nauseous. “Let’s go on.”

💎

It took only about fifteen minutes, if that, until Minghao suddenly clutched Seungkwan’s wrist, the back of his other hand pressed to his mouth. Seungkwan didn’t hesitate to call for a break, not caring at all if it was his place or not to do so. There was no way he would let Minghao suffer any longer if he could do anything. 

“Come on”, he whispered, wrapping his hand around Minghao’s in turn and pulling him away from any cameras and the filming crew. They ended up by a tree just out of sight and Seungkwan helped Minghao crouch down so he was in a squatting position. They didn’t have any longer, Minghao opened his mouth and a spray of mostly liquid vomit wet the ground in front of him. Seungkwan placed both hands on his hyung’s shoulders, rubbing soothing circles into his nape with his thumb. 

Footsteps appeared behind them and a quick glance over his shoulder revealed Woozi and Hoshi standing next to each other to help block the view of the poorly member. Both looked incredibly concerned but before any of them could speak, Minghao started to sway even as he continued to get sick. Instantly Seungkwan stepped directly behind him, so he could lean against his legs and tightened his hold on Minghao’s shoulders. Luckily it was enough to keep Minghao from falling and soon after, he was done for the time-being.

With Woozi’s help, Seungkwan was able to pull Minghao to his feet and none of them missed the pained wince on his face at the movement. Nor the groan he let out unwillingly, his hand coming to clutch his upset stomach. 

“Hao”, Woozi mumbled with a sigh, “let’s take a longer break, okay? Maybe squeeze in a nap. You can’t keep going like this.”

Seungkwan was so grateful to the hyungs for making that decision. Watching Minghao be so sick was awful. They led the exhausted dancer past the crew, Minghao’s head ducked and Seungkwan was sure he was seeing tears in his eyes, frustrated and embarrassed.

💎

The break and the nap - that even the director and the filming crew had had no problems allowing - didn’t help.

Minghao had only been asleep curled up onto Hoshi’s lap and his arms holding his abused abdomen for about ten minutes when he woke up again, barely able to push himself away from the older to avoid puking on him. Woozi helped hold him up as he gagged and retched, the puddle just growing under him.  Tears were running down Minghao’s face, dripping into the vomit below. 

Minghao was barely done with throwing up, when the hold he had on one of Woozi’s hands tightened and he blanched even more. “Bathroom”, he whispered, panicked. 

Woozi didn’t hesitate to help him up, understanding immediately that Minghao didn’t mean he was going to throw up again. Within a minute he had managed to half-drag half-carry the younger into one of the trailers at the back of the filming areas. It had been difficult - Minghao had seemed to be in so much pain that walking had been hard for him. 

Seeing how shaky and ill Minghao was, Woozi didn’t dare leave him alone in the trailer, he just closed the bathroom door while Minghao fumbled with his pants and stepped back. He couldn’t hear anything but pained sobs though and his worry overruling his discomfort at disturbing the younger in such a precarious situation, so within a few minutes he knocked on the door. 

“Hao?”, he asked hesitantly, “are you okay?”

It was a stupid question of course but what else could he say? 

“It hurts, hyung”, Minghao sobbed, “I thought I had to … but … uhm … I don’t. Everything just hurts so badly. I … I can’t get up.”

Woozi winced internally. He knew how Minghao was about privacy. “Do you need help?”

“Please, hyungie…”

Without any hesitation Woozi pushed open the door, instantly met with Minghao’s teary face. The younger upon seeing him enter covered his face in embarrassment though it was more than obvious that he was flushing red. 

“I’ve got you, it’s okay, baby”, Woozi said, a bit helpless in the face of the situation. 

Helping Minghao stand up wasn’t even close to embarrassing for either of them. They had seen each other in various states of undress before of course and all their focus was on moving so slowly that Minghao didn’t cry in pain as his muscles ached and cramped. It took a long minute until Minghao was upright and dressed again and by then he was in so much pain that tears were just streaming down his pale face without him even trying to stop them. 

They made it about two steps out of the bathroom when Minghao suddenly coughed and throw up dripped down his lips. The coughing painted a grimace on Minghao’s face and he cried out. Nothing much came up but it was enough that Woozi realized that they needed real help. Something was horrifically wrong with the younger. 

He managed to get Minghao to lie down on his side on a couch in the trailer’s mainroom and gently brushed his hair from his face. Had Minghao been burning up this badly earlier too?

“Hyungie, it hurts so badly”, Minghao mumbled, his speech slurred. He had his eyes pressed shut and his whole face was soaked in sweat. 

“I know, we’ll get you help, okay?”, Woozi soothed, hoping deep down they could get him relief soon. He squeezed Minghao’s shoulder in comfort, then ran out of the trailer.

They needed more help than they could give Minghao themselves.

💎

“By the time the ambulance arrived he was barely conscious anymore and he was so feverish. He seemed to be in so much pain, he was holding Jihoonie’s hand so tightly that it was turning white”, Hoshi explained, “the paramedics gave him some pain meds but I don’t know how much that helped.”

“Damn”, Seungcheol mumbled, pressing his free hand to his temple, “which hospital are they at?”

Hoshi gave him the name he had gotten from another manager. “You go, hyung, but take care of yourself. Manager-hyung is taking Seungkwannie and me home.”

“Okay, yeah.”

They said their goodbyes, then hung up. Before slipping his phone into his pocket, Seungcheol sent Jihoon a text, letting him know he was on his way. 

As much as Seungcheol wanted to get to the hospital as soon as possible, he knew he needed to calm himself down first. It wouldn’t help if he “freaked out” as Hoshi had called it. 

Just as he pushed himself off the wall to return to the dance practice room to gather his stuff and get his car keys, Jun exited the room, worry on his face as he spotted Seungcheol.

“Are you okay, hyung?”, he asked, coming closer instantly.

“Soonyoungie called. Minghao is in hospital”, Seungcheol said, ignoring the question about himself. “They think he has appendicitis. He’s been throwing up and his stomach hurts a lot. He’s got a fever too.”

Instantly Jun’s frown deepened. “Can we go see him?”

“I am on my way there but I don’t know how many people can come…”, Seungcheol trailed off as his phone started to ring again. Seeing Woozi’s contact glowing at him, he quickly accepted the call and put him on speaker.

“Jihoonie?”, Seungcheol asked, “how is he doing?”

When Woozi spoke his voice was waving and quivering in a way that Seungcheel hadn’t heard very often. He seemed to be worried out of his mind.

“Can you find Junnie for me? I don’t think that, uh, I don’t think that Minghao knows what’s going on. He keeps crying and fighting the nurses and I … I’m so sorry, hyung. I’m at my wit’s end. I don’t know how to get through him and explain what is happening. I don’t think he even understands Korean …”, Woozi rambled, clearly overwhelmed. At least he had had enough sense to call Seungcheol in case Jun didn’t know what was going on yet. Luckily, he did.

“Stop, Jihoonie”, Jun interrupted him, “I’m here. Let me speak to Xiao Ba, hm?”

“Oh, thank God”, Woozi breathed out and his footsteps sounded hurried through the phone. Then: “Hao? I have Junnie on the phone, okay? He will explain to you what is happening.”

Instantly Jun started to talk to Minghao in rapid Chinese, sounding like he was barely leaving any space between words to breathe.

By that time Dino stuck his head out of the practice room as well, curious and concerned why both his hyungs had disappeared and never came back. He seemed to be instantly able to tell that something was going on with the way Jun was speaking and he probably saw the concern on their faces.

“What’s happening?”, he asked, coming to stand as close as possible by Seungcheol without actively touching him. He seemed uncertain too, faced with the unknown situation. With a sigh, Seungcheol pulled him into his side, tucking the maknae under his arm. “Why is Junnie-hyung speaking that fast in Chinese?”

“Minghao is sick. He was throwing up at the schedule, so they brought him to hospital. Jihoonie just called because he needed Jun to translate some stuff for Hao”, Seungcheol explained, hoping the short and maybe a bit sugarcoated version of things was enough for Dino. It was enough that already he himself, Jihoon, Jun, Hoshi, Seungkwan and most of all Minghao were frightened. 

“Oh no, poor hyung”, Dino said, sounding heartfelt sorry.

“They are taking him to surgery now”, Jun said with a tremble in his voice, Seungcheol’s phone in hand, call ended. “They needed him to give permission for it but he didn’t even understand what was wrong and what they wanted him to sign. He was so scared…”

“Come here, love”, Seungcheol offered, reaching out his free arm to the younger. Instantly Jun complied and wrapped his other arm around Dino. Together they stood in the hallway for a moment, just holding each other.

💎

The moment Seungcheol and Jun stepped into the waiting room, the leader had his arms full of shaking Jihoon. It was clear that the producer was overwhelmed and scared and he couldn’t blame him. From what Jun had said after the phone call it was clear that MInghao had been too feverish and sick to make any sense. The younger dancer had been crying so badly he kept throwing up and he didn’t understand what was going on at all. His Korean sure was great now but medical terms? That was even hard for native speakers. 

“He … hyung, he is so sick”, Jihoon whispered, resting his head against Seungcheol’s shoulder. “I didn’t know how to help him except hold his hand. He was so scared. I don’t think he even knew I was there.”

“He knew, I’m sure”, Jun comforted, placing a hand on Jihoon’s shoulder.

Seungcheol nodded in agreement and moved his hand up to ruffle the producer’s hair. “You did well, Jihoonie.”

They all turned to look at the manager and a nurse arriving behind them, though Jihoon’s hand stayed fisted to the back of Seungcheol’s hoodie.

“They took him into surgery now”, the nurse explained, “it’s a standard procedure, so don’t worry too much. We perform appendectomies every day multiple times. Your friend is in good hands.”

“How long will the surgery take?”, Seungcheol asked anxiously. He couldn’t imagine waiting for hours now.

“About an hour is typical”, the nurse explained, “less now that they have already started, probably. I can bring you to what is going to be his room after surgery. You can wait there for him.”

Waiting was agony. It was like the arms of the clock didn’t want to move at all. There were only two chairs in the room, which meant Jun having his own and Jihoon ending up on Seungcheol’s lap. Surprisingly he didn’t mind. Normally Jihoon tended to be a pacer but right now it seemed like being in contact with his members was priority.

The manager had gone outside for various phone calls with management. Seungcheol had called Jeonghan to let him know what was going on and to have him go check on the members worried in the dorms and to spread the news. Their second-oldest hadn’t been a fan of not being allowed at the hospital but the nurse had already made sure that they knew they were already over the limit of visitors allowed and that it was an exception. Besides, Jeonghan knew that taking care of the concerned members was important too.

It was about forty-five minutes after they had arrived in the room that the door opened and an orderly was pushing in a bed. Minghao was stark pale against the sheets and he was still asleep from the anesthetics. 

As soon as the orderly had left, they crowded around the bed. Jihoon was instantly clutching one of Minghao’s hands but Jun visibly recoiled from the other where there were various lines in his veins.

A doctor who entered with the manager said: “Don’t be scared of the IV-lines. He needs pain meds, some fever reducers and we gave him some antiemetics just in case. He should wake up in the next half hour. Let somebody know when he does.”

While being physically close to Minghao brought some comfort it was also hard to see him like that. His skin was flushed from his fever and he was soaked in sweat. Connected to the IVs he seemed so small on the bed. Like a young child not an internationally known idol.

“The worst is over, Junnie”, Seungcheol said and took Jun’s hand, guiding it to hold Minghao’s. “He’s okay. The surgery must have gone well, they would have said something if it didn’t.” Jun nodded hesitantly and knelt down next to Minghao’s bed, pressing his head onto the mattress. 

Seungcheol took a few steps back, watching the scene. Minghao would need some time to recover but he was fine. Their friends were worried but a quick text to Jeonghan would calm them down. 

Finally it felt easier to breathe.

Masterlist links: Fairy's Masterlist 2024 Fairy's Masterlist 2025 Fairy's Masterlist - SEVENTEEN

[fairyniceyeah]

💎🍊Dreams that make up the pain

Title from Lonely Stars (SEUNGKWAN)

Summary: It seemed like no matter what Seungkwan did it wasn’t enough to satisfy his strict producer-hyung. 

CW: low self-esteem - no musical knowledge from the author so if this makes no sense ... I tried googling it and it still doesn't make any kind of sense to me

Whumpee: Seungkwan Caretaker: Woozi/Jihoon

“Again”, Woozi called into the microphone by the mixing console, his voice echoing through the headphones Seungkwan was wearing. Seungkwan nodded, biting his lip.

He had been in the studio for hours - without any rest, without any breaks. And Woozi still wasn’t satisfied with him. At all. 

It seemed like no matter what Seungkwan did it wasn’t enough to satisfy his strict producer-hyung. 

And Seungkwan was so so tired of trying. He wanted to succeed, of course. He wanted to be a successful idol one day and that meant he would have to work hard. After all they had just debuted and while their debut album had done reasonably well, the road to stardome wasn’t done. It had just begun.

But it was tiring. He got up early every day, spent hours trying to promote them on every variety show he could get access to, only to come back to the company to practice along with the other members day after day. And even after dance practice was done, they still had vocal practice. 

Normally Seungkwan enjoyed vocal practice most. He loved hanging out with his hyungs and he was hungry to learn from them. Jeonghan’s and Joshua’s soothing and comforting voices, the way they just so easily sounded soft and calming. Seokmin’s voice was so versatile and he was so expressive when singing, something Seungkwan admired a lot. 

Woozi’s voice was amazing too, he just had that special something along with a nearly perfect pitch. Seungkwan was always amazed by him and then of course there was still the fact that Woozi produced all their music on his own. He was incredible.

 💎

Just lately, it seemed like Woozi was trying to tear Seungkwan down in every way he could. Making him repeat sections over and over again. Making him sing out of his range, making him do things Woozi should know that Seungkwan couldn’t do and not listening to Seungkwan’s protests, ignoring Seungkwan’s defense of Woozi having to know it was impossible for him.

Every failure was met with more criticism and more impossible tasks and standards. 

Seungkwan didn’t know how and when he had upset Woozi so badly that the older felt like he needed to torture and humiliate him. At least that’s what it felt like. 

It wasn’t like Seungkwan thought that Woozi was a bad person - he truly wasn’t - he just didn’t understand why his hyung was so dead set on making him feel bad. Every little thing was criticized. 

“Seungkwan, your voice was a bit flat”, Woozi said through the microphone, “again.”

Seungkwan just nodded. There was no point in arguing. For a moment he wished Woozi hadn’t dismissed Jeonghan, Joshua and Seokmin hours earlier. Maybe they would have stood up for him? Told Woozi that Seungkwan couldn’t do it when he himself was too shy to admit it? Maybe they would even have told Woozi to be kinder to him - even if it was Seungkwan who was failing and Woozi had every right to be short with him.

But then again, it was at least not that embarrassing now, alone with Woozi, who already knew Seungkwan sucked and no audience to hear him tell Seungkwan to pathetically try again and again.

 💎

“Again.”

“Again.”

“Again.”

“Again.”

“Again.”

“Again.”

 💎

Seungkwan took a deep breath and sang, again. This time already half-way through the transition from a lower note to a higher one did he notice that his pitch was off. Before he could even try to fix or hide it, he was interrupted, his voice ringing out as the music cut.

“Seungkwan”, Woozi said, his voice flat. Seungkwan turned to him, praying that his hyung couldn’t see the tears he felt building up in his eyes through the glass separating them. His throat went dry and it felt a bit like he was choking. Why wasn’t he good enough? 

“What is going on with you today?”, his hyung continued, voice still flat but now frowning unhappily. “You can do so much better …”

“I’m sorry, hyung”, Seungkwan choked out, interrupting him and spitting out the first excuse that came to his mind, “I … uh, I need to use the bathroom, sorry.”

With tears cloaking his vision he shoved open the door separating the recording room from the studio and rushed to the exit. He heard Woozi say something behind him but over the pounding of his heart he couldn’t understand what he was saying. He didn’t really want to find out.

He had no plans of where to go except far away. Preferably somewhere where Woozi couldn’t ever find him. Or any of his members. Nobody. 

But as soon as the door slammed shut behind him, he slammed into the wall, his vision too blurry with tears. And so he just crumpled to his knees right where he was, outside of the studio that had felt like his personal hell for weeks. 

He buried his face in his hands and just sobbed.

 💎

A hand on his shoulder made him flinch. 

He didn’t want to be seen. He didn’t want to be touched. He didn’t want to be. 

Instinctively he curled up closer, one hand holding onto his ankle to make himself even smaller, the other covering his face. Maybe then the other person would forget him.

And yet, deep down, he craved comfort. Somebody being by his side. Telling him that everything would be fine. That he was doing okay.

But he knew he didn’t deserve it.

So he was surprised when he heard the low mumble of his name. “Seungkwannie?”

He didn’t react. What could he do? He was so pathetic. Outside of the studio, sobbing at his own faults. He didn’t understand. Why was somebody there with him? Why was he not left alone in his misery?

Who would…?

“Seungkwannie, what is going on?”

He recognized the soft voice, higher than anybody else's in the group. A small hand found its way into his hair, softly stroking at his dark curls in a comforting motion. The person’s elbow was a comforting weight on his shoulder.

“Seungkwannie, baby, talk to me.”

Slowly Seungkwan blinked open his eyes, staring at his orange shirt but not yet having the courage to face his hyung.

The same hyung who had just criticized him in the studio, made him sing impossible notes and made him feel so small - the same Woozi-hyung was now crouching next to him, worry in his voice and his presence as comforting as a warm blanket on a cold day.

“I’m sorry, hyung”, Seungkwan choked out, suddenly feeling the need to explain himself and apologize. After all, he had just rudely ran out while Woozi had taken time out of his day to try to teach him - even if it was a failure. “I’m so sorry. I really try to do better. Please believe me, I try so hard. I just … I can’t do it. I’m not good enough. I’m not good enough for your expectations.”

Woozi sighed and his hand left Seungkwan’s hair. He had done it. His words must have convinced his hyung of what he had witnessed over the past weeks. Seungkwan wasn’t good enough - and now Woozi was going to leave. Maybe he would have enough compassion to let Seungkwan go to Seungcheol himself and tell the leader he wasn’t good enough. Maybe Woozi would just go back to his studio and try to fix the mess of takes Seungkwan had left behind. 

 💎

But then a shoulder touched his as Woozi sat down next to him, stretching out his legs. 

“Hyung?”, Seungkwan asked, confused.

“Why would you think that?”, Woozi asked quietly. “That you couldn’t do it, I mean? You were doing so well.”

Seungkwan couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Woozi had made him sing those notes over and over again. Why would he do that if Seungkwan didn’t need to practice them? It didn’t make sense.

“Hyung”, he whispered, still so confused and anxiety making his heart beat in his chest. “Did I do something else wrong then?” Had he somehow angered Woozi on some other level?

“Seungkwannie, you didn’t do anything wrong”, Woozi replied and - to Seungkwan’s utmost surprise - interlinked their hands. In his shock he looked up and what he saw only puzzled him more. Woozi looked … sad? Worried? His eyes were so soft and he seemed to truly be concerned by Seungkwan’s behaviour. “Did I do something to make you think that?”

“You let Hannie-hyung, Shua-hyung and Seokminnie-hyung go home hours ago”, Seungkwan reluctantly stuttered out and swallowed hard before continuing. “Only I had to stay and practice. I know I didn’t do well at all. I just, hyung, I can’t sing those notes. I can’t. Why are you making me try? Did I do something to make you angry?”

The words quickly spilled from his mouth and he bit his tongue once he realized what he had said. If he truly had done something wrong - though Woozi insisted he hadn’t - he didn’t want to make it worse, blaming Woozi for something Seungkwan himself was doing badly. 

“I just … I mean, we both know I can’t hit those notes. Why are you making me try and stay behind for something I can’t do anyways?”

Woozi sighed and for a moment closed his eyes. Seungkwan felt his heart stop. But then, Woozi looked up and a sad smile was on his face.

“What note did I ask you to sing last week?”, Woozi asked then. 

Seungwan blinked, confused. What was his hyung trying to say?

“A B3?”, he asked, reluctantly.

Woozi nodded. “What note did I ask for today?”

“B4?”

“That’s right. Do you remember when we started practicing two months ago?”

Seungkwan thought back but he couldn’t remember. He just knew it had been the start of the grueling practices then, thinking back then that Woozi couldn’t seriously expect him to hit it. He shook his head.

“It was a B1, Seungkwannie”, Woozi replied. “Back then you were convinced you couldn’t do it. And two weeks ago you said you could never hit a B3. And today you hit the B4 easily.”

For a moment Seungkwan didn’t know what to say. He didn’t even remember struggling with a B1 or B2. And now Woozi said he had hit a B4?

“But ...”, he stammered. “I …”

“You were so convinced you would fail you were even scared to try back then” Woozi said with a sigh. “Seokminnie told you you could do it and you waved him off. Hannie-hyung told you could, as did Shua-hyung. You never believed them but I knew they were right. I knew you wouldn’t even try if I told you what I wanted to hear so I just tried to push you. I’m sorry I lied but I am not sorry for the reason why I did it. You are amazing, you just need to believe in yourself.”

Seungkwan couldn’t believe his ears. His hyung had just made him sing because he wanted Seungkwan to …

Well, he probably would have laughed in Woozi’s face if he had told Seungkwan what he wanted to hear from him. And so Woozi had tricked him. 

He was still mad but he understood now. Woozi had never meant to be mean or make him feel bad. He just pushed Seungkwan because he knew he could do better than what he believed he could do.

 💎

“Hyung, I don’t know what to say.” Seungkwan was thankful, though there was still doubt in his heart. But if his Woozi-hyung trusted him - or even better his Jihoon-hyung trusted him - maybe it would be okay.

“Say Thank you and don’t mention this to anybody or I will lose my reputation and you your lines”, Woozi grumbled and pushed himself up. “Now, I want you to be able to hit B5 by the end of the year so get off your ass.”

“Hyung, we all know you are a softie at heart”, Seungkwan teased, a smile on his face.

Woozi shoved him into the wall. 

Notes: Again, I have no musical knowledge at all! Feel free to correct me so that this makes sense because I am pretty sure I am tone-deaf and I don't understand music at all...

Masterlist links: Fairy's Masterlist 2024 Fairy's Masterlist 2025 Fairy's Masterlist - SEVENTEEN

[fairyniceyeah]

💎🍚Eyes on you, eyes on me

Title from Eyes on you (SEVENTEEN)

Summary: While playing a game Jeonghan gets hurt. Jihoon blames himself. - A rewriting of Day 21: "Let's play a game" from Woozi’s perspective.

CW: injury, guilt

Whumpee: Woozi/Jihoon (+ Jeonghan) Caretakers: Hoshi/Soonyoung + Wonwoo

Let’s play a game, they said. It’ll be fun, they said.

Jihoon was most definitely not having fun. Not even in the slightest. 

He had long overcome any insecurities surrounding his height, knowing it would be his downfall if he let it get to him. Most of the time it didn’t bother him that he was shorter than most male idols, even some female ones. He’d been able to brush it off with grace, enduring the bit of teasing that wasn’t worse than what Mingyu received for his clumsiness, Seungcheol got hit with just for being the (albeit very pouty) leader and Dino because he was the maknae.

So normally he didn’t mind and he wasn’t about to start getting insecure now.

If anything though, he was angry. Angry at the staff that had hung the signs for the Chaos game this Going Episode just out of his reach. They should have taken his height into consideration, just like people considered that Jun, Minghao and Joshua sometimes couldn’t follow very fast conversation and game explanations or considered the injuries any member had at times.

And he was angry at Hoshi who kept teasing him. He knew deep down that his best friend didn’t mean it at all, in fact he was probably trying to make the episode fun and simultaneously trying to lighten the mood seeing how Jihoon was getting more and more worked up. But right now, it didn’t help Jihoon in the slightest. In fact, it made it worse.

“Should I get you a box to stand upon?”, Soonyoung asked cheekily, winking at Jihoon.

Yeah. Funny.

“Leave it, Soonyoung”, Jihoon mumbled, feeling his nerves fraying.

It was going to be a humiliating episode for him for sure. And he hated getting humiliated unlike Mingyu and DK who he was sure had some form of humiliation kink. Okay, damn, his thoughts were really falling apart.

Even worse, his whole team was probably going to be the butt of Carat’s jokes soon. Vernon, oblivious as fuck, barely was any help and Jeonghan, their only hope, had gotten caught by their general leader when he had tried to cheat.

“Come on, you normally don’t care about being vertically challenged”, Hoshi teased further.

Something in Jihoon snapped at his words. Why couldn’t Soonyoung read the room and leave him alone?

“Go screw yourself”, he snarled, not caring at all that the whole part would need to be edited out due to his use of curse words. He was rather glad.

He wasn’t proud of his actions, of shoving his shoulder into Soonyoung��s chest as he stomped past, but at the moment he couldn’t care less about the hurt look he saw on the dancer’s face.

💎

He stood by the stairs leading down to the ground floor, taking deep calming breaths so he wouldn’t snap at another member or staff, when he saw the sign with the number 17 high up by the stairs. Wait, that was the number their team was looking for!

There was no way Jihoon was going to be able to reach that. He didn’t even need to test if he could reach it by standing on his tip-toes. It was much too high. He’d have to bite the bullet of asking for help.

Ashamed with how he had treated Hoshi, he knew that he couldn’t keep holding onto the anger boiling inside him. It was a team game and he was a team player. After taking another deep breath he called out for his Jeonghan-hyung. 

If anything Jihoon knew he needed Jeonghan to keep him in line should he get snappish again and he wouldn’t take it to heart like Vernon might. Since both of them were the same height it didn’t matter anyways.

When his hyung approached, Jihoon helplessly gestured up at the sign out of reach. 

Jeonghan actually groaned and mumbled: “I hate this game.”

That was just plain unfair. He didn’t get to be pouty too. Right now, Jihoon felt like he deserved to be the only one complaining. He crossed his arms over his chest aching with guilt and annoyance.

“You’re telling me that?”

Jihoon was stunned when he felt Jeonghan patting his head, cooing at him. It was plain rude and he was starting to feel angry again. He understood it was for fan service, yes, and that this section might need to be on camera since they were about to actually do something. Besides, he had already ruined one shot. So to keep himself from cursing at the older, he hit him - maybe a bit harder than strictly necessary - to satisfy his need for violence.

Even then all Jeonghan said was: “Cute.”

Okay. Two could play this game.

“You’re just pissed that you were caught cheating”, Jihoon said.

“I am not”, Jeonghan lied. Jihoon was sure of it. “Only that Seungcheol betrayed me like this.”

Yeah, that had been very unfair of the general leader, Jihoon had to admit to it. Jeonghan may have broken the rules, but again their team consisted of lazy Jeonghan, short Jihoon and confused Vernon while tall Seungcheol had annoying Hoshi and fucking tower Mingyu. It was deserved extra help.

As always Seungcheol started to pout when he heard his full name, yelling: “Hey. Stop pouting. You deserved that!” all across the house.

“Shut up”, Jihoon and Jeonghan called back.

Jihoon crossed his arms again, seeing that Jeonghan followed his example. Now that Jihoon saw Jeonghan stand next to him he felt a bit better. There also was no way that Jeonghan could reach that paper. It made Jihoon feel a bit better about himself, though he would never admit it. 

After staring at it for a few moments, Jihoon’s patience ran out. “What are we gonna do about that?”

“I suppose, I could try balancing?”, Jeonghan suggested. 

Did his hyung have a death wish? Jihoon whirled around to stare him down, disbelief cursing through his veins. How did Jeonghan think that would go?

“Are you crazy? You’ll fall.”

“I won’t.”

💎

Jihoon was about to reply something along the lines of “mighty last words” when Jeonghan just stepped forwards and stood on his tip-toes to reach the paper. His fingertips were nearly comically far away.

“Hold me”, he ordered and grasped onto Jihoon’s hand before he had even the slightest chance to tell his hyung how big of an idiot he was. All he could do was beg him to stop.

“Hyung, don’t!”, he called out, unashamed of his voice slightly trembling. Jeonghan was crazy. They were on the top of a long flight of stairs. If there was one thing the active toddler in him remembered was his parents telling him to never mess around with stairs. You could break your neck, sweetie, or worse. Be careful, please!

Jeonghan, apparently, never had had that particular lecture. He probably had been too lazy to be running around stairs as a child already. But at least common sense from the smarter than average man should tell him it was a terrible horrible idea. Yet, he just held onto Jihoon and edged further and further over the abyss below. 

“Hyung!”

Jihoon held tighter onto him, not willing to let his friend fall. His palms were sweaty and he could practically feel Jeonghan slip further away from him. He may have started working out a few weeks ago but that didn’t mean he could already hold onto a grown-ass man, a grown-ass man much bigger than him no less. Especially not on top of stairs.

“Hyung!”

Jeonghan grabbed onto the paper and for a moment it seemed like maybe Jihoon had been a bit too overly cautious and that they would succeed after all. But then, as Jeonghan tore off the paper, it wasn't enough. No matter how hard Jihoon tried to pull them back up, he wasn’t strong enough. Not to save both of them.

“HYUNG!”, he screamed, their hands torn apart. For a moment Jeonghan’s face seemed frozen in front of him, various emotions painted on his face. Surprise. Shock. Fear. Desperation. Then he fell.

💎

Jihoon’s knees exploded in pain as he fell forward, only his body’s instinct to lean backward stopping him from falling down the stairs as well. 

When he managed to recover from the shock of pain all he could see was his hyung - his loving, doting, smart, amazing, kind, gentle, sweet, helpful, mischievous hyung - laying broken at the bottom of the stairs, managers, staff, members crowding him and then hiding him from Jihoon’s sight. 

He couldn’t control the scream that was torn from his throat.

All Jihoon wanted to do was rush down the stairs to Jeonghan, check on him, see if he was … alive. He surely was alive, wasn’t he? 

You could break your neck, sweetie, or worse.

Jihoon couldn’t move, no matter how much he wanted. It was like he was rooted to the spot, frozen to the ground, set in stone. Everything was blurry.

💎

Suddenly strong arms wrapped around his chest and pulled him back, causing him to fall backwards and collapse into the person. He gasped, throat raw, and then he blinked up at the person. 

His blurred sight - it was only then when he tasted the salty tears on his tongue that he realised he was crying - showed he was cradled in Wonwoo’s lap, the older man holding him tightly. Next to him sat Soonyoung who looked about as scared as Jihoon felt, but much more determined. 

“Jihoon-ah?”, Soonyoung asked gently and held onto Jihoon’s hand. 

For a moment Jihoon swore he could feel Jeonghan’s hand slipping from his again.

“Jihoon-ah? Are you injured? Does something hurt?”, Soonyoung asked and when Jihoon could only stare at him, chest heaving, he cupped Jihoon’s cheek in his hand, his thumb wiping away the tears.

Normally Jihoon would have killed Soonyoung for even thinking about doing anything like this but right now it was the most comforting thing in the world. 

Slowly he shook his head. The pain in his knees had lessened mostly and he knew there was nothing they could do against the bruises there. 

“Jeonghannie-hyung?”, he asked instead, before he was even aware he would ask the question, “is he okay?”

Wonwoo and Soonyoung exchanged a glance that made the blood freeze in Jihoon’s veins. “Please, is he okay?”

“Jihoonie”, Wonwoo finally said and held him tighter, “we don’t know yet. But paramedics are on the way and the others are taking care of hyung right now. We should focus on you.”

Take care of him? Jihoon didn’t understand. He was fine.

“You’re not fine, baby”, Soonyoung said with a sad smile, “you’re pretty scared, huh? I think you may be experiencing a bit of shock right now.”

All Jihoon could do was nod. He didn’t have the strength to lie and he did feel pretty shocked. 

Suddenly Soonyoung let go of him. Jihoon gasped, not wanting to lose the contact. He didn’t want to lose Soonyoung too.

“Hey, hey”, Soonyoung said, sounding a bit further away, “I’m not leaving you. I’m just gonna elevate your legs for a bit, okay? Just until you feel a bit better. Just breathe, okay?”

Jihoon nodded and closed his eyes. Soonyoung’s hands were warm against his calves and he was not only elevating his legs, he was soothingly patting Jihoon’s ankle, giving him something to focus on. His head was still resting in Wonwoo’s lap and only now did he notice that Wonwoo was gently stroking his hair and softly humming a song. 

Ulgo sipji ana

💎

Jihoon let the older members take care of him for once. His heart still hadn’t stopped pounding in his chest and he noticed he was shivering. He was terrified, shocked like Soonyoung had said. He couldn’t bring himself to move, to look, to go to Jeonghan for now. He was too scared of what he would see. He didn’t want to lose Jeonghan. He didn’t think he could ever stop the self-blame if something bad had happened. Why hadn’t he been stronger?

It took a while for Jihoon to stop crying and trembling. It passed like the blink of an eye, an eternity at the same time. Slowly Wonwoo helped him sit up, Jihoon’s back against his chest. 

“Breathe, Jihoon-ah.” The producer could hear the older’s chest rumble as he spoke in his gentle, kind voice. “You’re okay. Hannie-hyung will be okay too.”

You don’t know that, Jihoon wanted to shoot back. But he couldn’t bring himself to speak the words.

You could break your neck, sweetie, or worse.

“I want to see hyung”, Jihoon said, his voice more determined than he felt. “I need to see hyung.”

“Okay”, Soonyoung replied gently and let go of Jihoon’s legs, “let’s go.”

He stood up and reached his hands down to help Jihoon up. With Wonwoo’s hand on his back and Soonyoung holding his hands, Jihoon shakily got to his feet. His knees buckled a bit under him but he managed to stay standing. 

Soonyoung never let go of Jihoon as they slowly walked down the stairs together, Jihoon’s gaze fixed on the steps. He didn’t know how he would react when he saw Jeonghan and he didn’t want to cause Soonyoung to fall down the stairs too if he freaked out.

💎

Once they were at the bottom of the stairs, Jihoon noticed that the bubble of people surrounding Jeonghan was gone. Instead only Minghao was kneeling by their hyung’s side. The younger member was stroking away the tears on Jeonghan’s face. Jihoon didn’t know if they came from pain or shock. Some strands of hair stuck to Jeonghan’s cheeks that Minghao carefully peeled away, gentle as always. For a moment Jihoon could only watch. Jeonghan looked much more peaceful than he had imagined but it was still scary to see him so still.

“Please be more careful, hyung”, Minghao whispered, “it was terrifying. I was taking a break and was watching you and Woozi-hyung. Seeing you fall so suddenly … I … you really scared us today.”

Jihoon swallowed. He hadn’t even had thought about what the situation would do to the other members - he had only thought of Jeonghan and himself. He imagined it must have been so scary, maybe the suddenness of it all even more so than to Jihoon who was involved in the situation.

“I’m sorry, Eissa. I didn’t think”, Jeonghan mumbled. But Jihoon couldn’t believe the next words his self-sacrificing idiot of a hyung said “Are the others okay?”

He didn’t hesitate to interject, stepping forward, away from Soonyoung. His voice came out less angry than he had imagined, weaker than intended. 

“So much is clear. That you didn’t think, I mean. Do you know how terrifying it was to feel your hand slip out of my grip and see you fall?”

Jihoon sat down and wrapped an arm around Minghao who had startled at his sudden appearance, letting the scared younger member rest against him. Even if Minghao was acting strong, Jihoon could see how he was scared and he wasn’t as heartless as some people thought him to be. 

Only then did he finally look at Jeonghan, barely able to meet his eyes. I wish I could have saved you, hyung. I wish I had been stronger.

“I’m sorry, Jihoon-ah”, Jeonghan apologized quietly. “I never wanted to make you go through that.”

Jihoon didn’t really want to hear the apology. He didn’t think he could accept it yet. He knew he should have been stronger. But he also knew Jeonghan never should have played with his health, his safety like this. As loath as Jihoon was to admit it - this was Jeonghan’s fault in a way. He had decided to play. He had trusted Jihoon to hold him - and Jihoon had failed him - but still it had been his decision in the beginning to even try the stunt.

“I know, hyung. Please don’t be so reckless in the future”, Jihoon just said. I’m sorry.

But he couldn’t say those last words, because suddenly the door was flung open and paramedics rushed into the room. Jihoon squeezed Jeonghan’s hand tightly, hoping it conveyed the apology, and stepped back. Immediately Soonyoung was there, wrapping him in his arms again.

💎

Now all they could do was wait and hope that their Jeonghan would be fine.

Masterlist links: Fairy's Masterlist 2024 Fairy's Masterlist 2025 Fairy's Masterlist - SEVENTEEN

[fairyniceyeah]

💎🍚 Won't let them break your heart

Title from Rock with you (Seventeen)

Summary: Lately it felt like that was all he was to them: A producer and a unit leader. Jihoon is tired of being Woozi all the time.

CW: insecurity

Whumpee: Jihoon/Woozi Caretaker: Soonyoung/Hoshi

It wasn’t like Jihoon doubted the members’ love for him...

How could he? 

They constantly told him how much they appreciated his efforts in creating the best music for them. They never missed a chance to compliment his music itself. They provided him with warm food and a place to call home (though he was barely there). They always noted how good of a unit leader he was and Seungcheol often thanked him for helping him with his duties. They let him cry all over them whenever they sang Circles and cooed over him when he pushed them aside when they tried to shower him in affection. 

Just lately …

Lately it felt like that was all he was to them: A producer and a unit leader. Somebody they could rely on and ask him for his help.

If he was honest, he couldn’t even remember the last time he had had a conversation with one of the members that wasn’t related to their work. Rationally he knew that comeback season was always busy, always the most stressful time of the year. Nobody really had time for anything but their work. The Hip-Hop Unit wrote their raps. The Performance Unit created their dances. The Vocal Unit worked on the lyrics. And Woozi did all the music, arranging, guides, recording - all on top of the dance practices and other promotion schedules.

It had been too long since he had actually been Jihoon - not Woozi.

Maybe it was different for S.Coups and Hoshi and DK and The8 and Dino. Maybe they felt like their stage names had merged with their real personality. 

But for Woozi? He longed to be Jihoon again.

It was an honor to be Woozi, of course. To have his name attached to so many songs. To have people recognize his talent. To receive awards as a group and as a producer. To be a part of Seventeen.

But being Woozi was also dreadfully exhausting, demanding, taxing, trying, strenuous.

Just … he just wished for one day where he didn’t have to be on. One day where people didn’t expect so much of him. One day of just existing with his members. 

Nobody asking anything of him.

Thinking back - all conversations he had with his members had not only been about work but even more so about what he should do and add and change and decide and…

He was tired.

He was so so tired.

But there was nothing to be done about that. He still had to edit the sample Bumzu - who was out sick - had sent him, look over Wonwoo’s and Vernon’s raps, write the rest of their lyrics, make at least a beat for the song he had been thinking about with S.Coups, find time to meet with the Vocal Unit, record two guides and they had dance practice later. 

Well, no day but today.

With a sigh, Woozi lifted his head out of his hands where he had sat slumped over on his desk. He needed to get back to work.

💎

A knock on the studio door - hours later - pulled Woozi from his work.

He looked up, rubbed his tired eyes, rolled his shoulders and stretched. Maybe he could make himself look a bit more presentable to the visitor.

“Come in”, he called, lifting his eyebrows when he found Soonyoung entering the studio, carrying a take-out bag in his hands.

“Evening”, the older man called, smiling brightly, “I come bearing gifts. Well, food. Food and my presence are the gifts. The last even more than the first.”

Woozi laughed a bit at his chingu. “Even … wait, don’t we have dance practice in …” He looked down at his phone that showed a reading of 18:06 o’clock “... six minutes ago? Fuck, we’re late.” He rushed to his feet, the lightheartedness and teasing in his voice vanishing at once. What was Soonyoung doing here, bringing food?

“Practice is canceled”, Soonyoung said, shrugging, “relax and sit back down.”

Relieved and at the same time feeling stressed, Woozi slumped back down into his desk chair. If practice was canceled he’d have more time to finish his work tonight but they’d have to do dance practice another day and nobody knew how much work he would have at that point.

He suspiciously eyed the bag that Soonyoung still held in his hands. The members mostly brought him food as a peace offering, to lull him into compliance before asking him for another thing. It was a nice gesture for them, giving him a little in return for his efforts but Woozi had come to dread the crinkling of take-out bags. And he already dreaded what Hoshi wanted from him.

“How come?”, he decided to ask, gesturing at Hoshi to take the other chair.

“Uh, well, you haven’t read the group chat, have you?”, Hoshi countered.

Woozi shook his head. He had been too preoccupied by his work to check the chat (and the time apparently) and figured if there was something important they would come by or call.

“Well, the Hip-Hop Unit went out for lunch together. They all have food poisoning.” Hoshi grimaced and shuddered. “You missed the whole show - not much to miss though except Jeonghan-hyung about to lose his sanity but that does happen every three to four business days anyhow.”

Woozi couldn’t suppress a snort at that. Their second-oldest hyung really was a mother-hen and he assumed that the Hip-Hop Unit would not be able to live that down soon. Also Jeonghan’s pain was funny at times.

Of course Woozi felt terribly bad for the sick members and he knew that their schedules would become even worse now that things would have to get pushed back or rescheduled. There was a tiny snake of anxiety wrapping itself around his chest and squeezing. He didn’t want to imagine the stress that would soon follow.

“I assume they all went home?”, Woozi asked.

“Hm”, Hoshi said, handing him a pair of chopsticks, “S.Coups+ apartment is the place to avoid. Eat.”

“I hope you got this from a different place?”, the producer quipped, not waiting for Hoshi to answer. The dancer would not be that stupid. He hoped.

“Glad you trust me”, Hoshi replied with an eye roll and dug in as well.

They ate in silence, both preoccupied by thoughts. Jihoon sighed. He really didn’t want to keep working. He didn’t want to face all the pressure and the dead-lines, the criticism. The upper management who always had something bad to say no matter what he did.

But Woozi also couldn’t disappoint his members. He was their producer, the one who they trusted to make them successful. Without his music they would have failed a long time ago. Somehow that thought wasn’t as comforting as it could have been.

Actually, no, it created even more pressure.

What were those song lyrics?

Pressure like a drip, drip, drip

That’ll never stop

Pressure that will tip, tip, tip

‘Til you just go pop

I’m pretty sure I’m worthless

If I can’t be of service

Jihoon really shouldn’t have watched so much Disney with Vernon and Joshua.

He couldn’t hold it in anymore. The question spilled out of him like a waterfall, without any chance of stopping it, so much force nothing could withstand it.

“What can I do for you, Hoshi?”

Hoshi looked up from his food and blinked. “What? Can’t I just come here and spend time with my favorite producer?” 

Going the flattery route then - explicitly mentioning the producer title. Well, food and flattery. Jihoon hadn’t expected anything less. He put his chopsticks down, noticing that he had been clutching them so harshly it was a miracle he hadn’t snapped them in half.

Still, there was something weird about Hoshi's tone - confusion, maybe. Genuinity? 

No, he must have imagined it. Well, he knew that Hoshi genuinely liked his music. But he certainly wanted something. Woozi was sure of it.

He was tired of waiting for what Hoshi was about to spring upon him. What he would have to add to his overly full schedule. What would make him spend more time holed up here alone. What would make Jihoon disappear even more.

💎

Jihoon hated himself for losing his temper like that, seeing the pained confusion on Hoshi’s face. He shouldn’t have snapped like that. The aftermath, however, was worse still.

“Just tell me why you came, Hoshi.” He had given a long-suffering sigh.

There had been hurt in Hoshi’s eyes that Woozi had been too exhausted to even try to figure out. “I already said it. I want to hang out with you because I feel like it and I miss you. You’ve been stuck here all day.”

“Bullshit!”, Woozi had hissed through clenched teeth. “What is it? You all always come because you want something from me. A new track? A guide? Lyrics? Just tell me so I can get back to work. I’ll fit it into the schedule somehow.”

“Jihoon-ah”, Hoshi had tried to calm him down, his eyes blown wide. “I truly just didn’t want you to be all alone all day, especially since practice was canceled. Nobody has seen you all day. I promise, I really came to check in on you, see how you were doing.”

“Nobody does that”, Jihoon had whispered, staring down at his lap.

Silence held on for a couple of minutes. Woozi really tried to get his breathing under control. It was too fast, too harsh, too shallow. Everytime he tried to breathe normally it got stuck in his throat. He looked at his hands which were shaking in his lap. Or maybe it was his shoulders? His whole body? He didn’t know.

There was the taste of salt on his lips.

💎

That was it. Hoshi was leaving. Leaving him alone. Leaving him to his misery and his shame.

But instead of moving away the footsteps came closer until Jihoon could spot the washed out sneakers that Soonyoung loved to death. 

A hand came to rest on his knee as his best friend knelt down in front of him. Stubborn, Jihoon refused to look at him. He didn’t want to look at Hoshi, not after exploding so rudely on him. They were all stressed. They were all preparing for a comeback. Snapping at each other was something that was something that S.Coups pretty quickly had made sure was not tolerated and needed apologizing. Jihoon didn’t think that he could get any words out if he tried, not even apologetic ones.

“Jihoon-ah, look at me”, Soonyoung commanded quietly, his voice giving no room for argument. But Jihoon couldn’t do it. Couldn’t face more pressure, more requests, more asks. 

When he didn’t move his head and it became clear that he wouldn't, Soonyoung sighed. It didn’t sound annoyed like Jihoon had imagined it would, but … sad? He couldn’t make sense of that. 

The hand Soonyoung didn’t use to keep his balance on Jihoon’s knee moved upwards towards Jihoon’s face. Rationally Jihoon knew that Soonyoung would not hit him. None of the members would. They would protect him if anybody tried. Yet - Jihoon couldn’t help but flinch.

Soonyoung let out a whimper like a wounded animal and immediately retreated his hand. “Baby? Hoon-ah?”, he asked breathlessly, “what’s going on? Has somebody been hurting you?”

Jihoon immediately shook his head. Nobody had. Just … their behavior.

“I need you to speak with me, baby, so I can be sure”, Soonyoung whispered, “please tell me if somebody hurt you. Even if it’s just a tiny scratch I’d want to know.”

“No”, Jihoon breathed out, “nobody has hurt me.”

“I’m so happy to hear that, baby”, Soonyoung said, the relief evident in his voice, “is .. is it okay if I touch you?”

Jihoon shrugged, nodded.

“I know speaking is hard but can you confirm this verbally for me?”, Soonyoung requested. His voice was so gentle, so patient that Jihoon wanted to cry. Actually, had he even stopped?

“Yeah”, he mumbled and slowly Soonyoung brushed his long hair that had created sort of a halo around his face behind his ear. His thumb came up to wipe under Jihoon’s eyes. Maybe he was still crying. Maybe Jihoon should be concerned that he felt so detached that he couldn’t tell if he himself was crying.

Gently, leaving him the possibility to stop the movement, Soonyoung lifted Jihoon’s head so he was finally looking at the older. Jihoon gasped when he saw the pale, tear-streaked face of his best friend.

“Why are you crying?”, he asked already half-way into turning around to search for tissues.

“Why am I crying?”, Soonyoung asked incredulously, gripping into Jihoon’s hand to stop his movement, “why wouldn’t I be crying? I came here to spend some time with you only to find out I have been a terrible friend and neglected you.”

That finally stopped Jihoon’s frantic attempts to find tissues - he knew it was hysterical looking for tissues but he didn’t know how else to help. But now? 

Jihoon didn’t want Soonyoung to blame himself for something Jihoon was overreacting to. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry”, he whispered, “I … don’t know what came over me. You have been an amazing friend. You are an amazing friend. I don’t know why I reacted like this, I’m sorry.”

Soonyoung lifted his hand again to rest it against Jihoon’s burning hot cheek. He smiled up at him, the smile looking incredibly sad. 

“Hoon-ah, stop apologizing. I … I don’t … I. I don’t know how to say this. But how would you feel if you found me dancing all day every day and you just wanted to hang out only to have me expect you to burden me with even more choreographies even though I clearly was already stressed?”

“I’d feel awful, you should rest! And … I’d hate myself for making you think you were only valuable for your productive outpu … oh”, Jihoon replied, voice going quiet as he realized.

He hadn’t wanted to put Soonyoung in this position. But he couldn’t deny what conclusion Soonyoung’s mind had jumped to. What true conclusion his mind had jumped to.

“See why I am so worried?”, Soonyoung asked, his voice very gentle.

Jihoon nodded, hesitantly. He didn’t want to admit it but it did feel good to finally unburden his heart. His eyes began to water again and his throat felt tight.

“Soonyoung”, he whispered, “I am so tired.”

“I know, baby. I know. It’s okay. Rest your weight on my shoulders now.”

With a cry, Jihoon fell forward off the chair, knowing that no matter what, Soonyoung would catch him.

💎

“Tell me what’s on your mind, Hoon-ah”, Soonyoung asked, tipping his index finger against Jihoon’s temple.

It was some time later, Jihoon didn’t know how much. He’d cried in Soonyoung’s arms on the floor of his studio for so long, sobs leaving his body until he physically couldn’t cry anymore. Once he had slumped over, completely spent, Soonyoung had carried him to the couch in the corner of his studio. He’d sat down Jihoon in his lap, something the younger would have protested in any other situation. For now it felt like he couldn't ever let go of his best friend ever again. From how tight Soonyoung held him, Jihoon doubted there were any such plans in the future.

At Soonyoung’s question Jihoon exhaled. It was strangely loud in the quietness of the studio. He didn’t know how to explain without making Soonyoung cry again. He most certainly didn’t want that. The older had cried along with him, though focused on comforting Jihoon and holding him tightly.

“It’s stupid, really.” Now that everything had died down, the volcano in him had erupted, Jihoon was embarrassed. Soonyoung had come to have a good time and instead Jihoon had ended up using him as a tissue. 

“It’s not stupid if it has you this frazzled”, Soonyoung insisted and then more hesitantly: “You didn’t expect me to actually come to spend time with you. You thought I would just drop by with a new request, a new task on your already crazy schedule. We have been doing that a lot, haven’t we?”

“I mean … I guess?”, Jihoon asked, playing with the strings of Soonyoung’s comfy hoodie. His head hurt and he didn’t necessarily feel like having the conversation. He’d rather just stay here with his head resting against Soonyoung’s shoulder and just not have to work for a while. “Not too much. Just with all the other stuff I have to do and Bumzu out sick. It’s stressful right now. A small request here and there isn’t too bad.”

“Unless it’s twelve small requests upon your already insane workload, am I right?”, Soonyoung stated more than he asked. 

Jihoon shrugged. “I mean, it’s my job, right? I shouldn’t complain.”

“Your job is to be healthy above all. Yes, I know you have a lot to do with all the producing and everything else that comes with a comeback but not at the cost of your mental health. It’s not your responsibility to lighten our workload. It’s not right that your first thought when somebody comes in here is that they want something from you, not just you. I’m sorry you felt like this, like we only want you for your creative output. You are an amazing person, worth spending time with outside of work. So worth it.”

There definitely was a blush on his cheeks now, Jihoon was sure. He was glad nobody else was there to witness that. 

But Soonyoung wasn’t finished: “It’s okay to say no, you know? It’s okay to set boundaries.”

That was the problem of it all, wasn’t it? Woozi had never learned how to set boundaries. He had never needed to. Besides - what was he if not their producer?

“I … I’m scared, I think”, Jihoon admitted, “I know you love Woozi. I know you appreciate what I do. I am proud of what I do. It’s just … I have always been Woozi. Always been the one producing, the one in the studio, the one you all could rely on to make music. If Woozi makes a mistake, slips up, it might cause our downfall. I think … I think I forgot how to be Jihoon during this.”

Soonyoung gasped, like Jihoon had physically hurt him. Then he wrapped his arms around Jihoon tightly again, holding him in a comforting embrace, and pressed a kiss to his temple.

“Jihoon-ah. Jihoon-ah, I am so sorry I never realized how much all of this affected you. All the fear and pain you carried with you. I’m sorry we never showed you we loved Jihoon as well. Much more than we could ever love Woozi.”

Jihoon just buried his face in Soonyoung’s neck and breathed in. For the first time in a long time it didn’t hurt. He wasn’t afraid anymore. Soonyoung said the truth, he always did with matters of the heart. Jihoon had no choice but to believe him.

“Thank you, Young-ah”, he whispered, “thank you.”

“It’s alright, Jihoon-ah. We’ll get this fixed. I promise the members all love you for who you are - not your music, not your talent. For that, of course, too, but first and foremost because you are our Jihoon-ah, okay?”

Jihoon nodded. He was so tired. His eyes slipped shut against his will.

“I’ll speak with S.Coups-hyung to reduce your workload and address all this - well, as soon as he is able to keep his head out of a bucket for longer than a few minutes. We’ll find solutions to all your problems and we’ll help you where we can. You don’t have to do this alone. We’re Seventeen - we'll face this together. You can rest now, love.”

Jihoon closed his eyes and he slept.

Notes: Fun fact, this is actually my second SEVENTEEN fanfic I wrote. I just never got around to posting it... anyways, nearly a year later, here it is!

Masterlist links: Fairy's Masterlist 2024 Fairy's Masterlist 2025 Fairy's Masterlist - SEVENTEEN

[fairyniceyeah]

Hi! I absolutely love your work, and I was wondering if you could write a fic where predebut/early days Seungkwan has kind of a low self-esteem and self-confidence?

Woozi would go even harder on him than on the other members because he knows how much potential he has.

At first Kwan would be upset but soon realize that Woozi doesn't do that to upset him or to break him, but because he trusts him and knows that he can do it. It could end as a wholesome moment where Seungkwan sees him as Jihoon, his hyung, and not only Woozi, the cold perfectionist producer he seems to be.

Hey!

How embarassing ... I just saw that I still had your ask in my inbox despite the story long being posted. I am so so sorry for that!

My only excuse really is a lot of work, being sick and even more work after... good thing that I like my work lol

But better late than never! Dreams that make up the pain is for you, love! I hope you enjoyed!

Lots of love,

🧚🏻‍♀️

[fairyniceyeah]

💎🍚A silent war we never wanted (Part 3/3)

Title from SOS (SEVENTEEN)

A silent war we never wanted I A silent war we never wanted II

Summary: All it took was a frozen monitor, a panicked maknae and about five delayed clicks to delete a whole song on his computer. Jihoon is already so scared and unwell and now he needs to write a whole new song to give to the executives in an impossible time-frame.

CW: emeto, insecurity, fights, idol mistreatment, forced emeto

Sickie/Whumpee: Woozi/Jihoon Caretaker(s): Bumzu + S.Coups/Seungcheol + Jeonghan

“Sit”, Seungcheol ordered, all but shoving Jihoon onto one of the couches in the living room. “Explain.” 

It was the first words they had spoken since leaving the studio and Jihoon instantly complied with the first part. He was too scared to even attempt to defy the order and lock himself in his room like he wanted and he felt too unwell to walk much further anyways.

But he couldn’t make himself speak, no matter how much he longed to explain himself. He didn’t know if he deserved their forgiveness, after all now that the files were restored he truly had had no reason to skip the meeting and practice. He had failed the team spectacularly.

Seungcheol and Jeonghan sat on the opposite couch, both wearing hard and angry expressions. Jihoon had never seen those emotions directed at him by them. Hell, he couldn’t remember if he had seen so much anger in their faces before, let alone caused by him. What was even worse though was the disappointment that was boiling below the anger. 

Jihoon had always been so scared of disappointing his members and now he had done it. His hands trembled so badly, he pulled them into the sleeves of the hoodie. He withstood the urge to wrap his arms around himself in a sad attempt of a comforting hug.

“Jihoon. Explain yourself”, Seungcheol repeated after a moment of silence, adding in a harsh voice: “I know you love being in the studio and I know you are very proud of the credit you get as a producer but you are an idol. A part of this group. We are Seventeen, not Lee Jihoon’s backup dancers. You have responsibilities beside the universe factory. I know meetings are not fun but faking sick? I am honestly a bit disgusted by your actions right now.”

Jihoon hung his head, staring at his lap. He couldn’t stand looking at them anymore, see the hate and disappointment in their eyes. He couldn’t bring himself to say what had happened. They were so angry. What if they didn’t believe him? It was a bit scary how quickly they were jumping to conclusions - did they really think so lowly of him?

He wanted to throw up at the thought, swallowing down a gag.

“We did so much for you, we all sacrificed our morning routine to make you comfortable. For what? You lied to our faces. Kwannie and Soonyoungie were - are - so worried for you, they couldn’t even really concentrate during the meeting. Coups and I were worried, all twelve of us were. And yet … how do you expect they will react when they learn you lied about it all? You owe us all an apology.”

Jihoon felt his heart shatter and break during Jeonghan’s speech. He knew he needed to apologize to them. He nodded. 

“I am so sorry, hyungs”, he whispered, lifting his hands to wipe his dripping eyes.

“I am so angry right now”, Seungcheol said with a sigh, “Ah … Jihoonie… why? I can’t believe that you would do that. I … I need to know why. What made you think you should lie to us? Why is your time in the studio more important than a meeting deciding our future? I don’t understand. Are you sick of the idol life? I keep wondering what you were doing in the studio, considering you said the songs for the group were done. So what were you doing? I know you are working on a new solo … is that it? Do you enjoy that more than group activities? Is your solo more important to you?”

Jihoon was wrong. It was then that his heart broke. Did Seungcheol truly think that Jihoon found his solo more important than group activities? In truth, Jihoon hadn’t touched that song in weeks, too focused on composing songs for their comeback. 

He couldn’t help the whimper that escaped him, head pounding and everything twirling around him. His illness was just fake but he couldn’t deny that he really felt like he was about to throw up any second. 

“No, hyung”, he cried out, “please believe me. I didn’t … I haven’t worked on the song in weeks, I …”

“What were you doing in the studio then? Just relaxing and enjoying your life while we had to sit through that meeting, worried about you?”, Jeonghan hissed, interrupting him. 

“No, no. Please. I’m sorry”, Jihoon got out, unable to stop his sobs. He couldn’t comprehend anything but the overwhelming fear he felt. Did they hate him now? It was rightly so, he couldn’t blame them. But he had nothing but the group. Would they seek to replace him? Vernon was getting good at producing too. Would Jihoon be publicly discredited? He deserved it. His breathing sped up so much he knew he was hyperventilating but there was nothing he could do to stop it.  

He choked on his sobs, alone on the couch with Seungcheol and Jeonghan across the room, yet further away than they had ever been.

“I’m so sorry.”

A warm hand landed on his knee, shocking him so much he inhaled too quickly, coughing and gagging on the saliva he accidentally swallowed. Seungcheol was kneeling in front of him and even through the haze of tears Jihoon saw that he was concerned.

“Breathe, baby”, the leader advised, “slowly. In and out. Come on, breathe with me.” Jihoon’s hand was placed over Seungcheol’s chest where he could feel him exaggerate deep breaths in order to help Jihoon get control over his own breathing. It took a few minutes until Jihoon was able to calm down and then Seungcheol’s hand left him and Jihoon’s hand dropped down to his lap again. He didn’t understand why Seungcheol had helped him just then, seeing how he seemed to hate Jihoon.

Lifting his head a bit, he saw that Seungcheol had a mixed expression of worry and anger on his face. Jeonghan was nowhere to be seen. It hurt more than anything.

“Hannie is getting you something to drink”, Seungcheol said tonelessly as if reading his thoughts, “calm down a bit and then explain. Jihoon, I know you are very overwhelmed at the moment and I really want to believe you would never seek to actively hurt the group. So give us your point of view.”

Nervously Jihoon nodded. Would they even believe him now? Would it even matter what he had to say? It felt hopeless.

Jeonghan returned a few minutes later, carrying a glass of water and wearing an unreadable expression. Normally he would help a crying member drink but he only pressed the glass into Jihoon’s hands. He didn’t care that with how badly he was shaking, Jihoon spilled nearly half of the water over himself. The other half he managed to drink sat heavily in his stomach.

Seungcheol and Jeonghan both had sat down on the other couch again when Jihoon placed the glass on the table between them. Their expectant looks were awful.

💎

How was he going to explain it without it sounding like he was blaming their maknae? He didn’t blame Dino of course but if he told them that it all started then …

He didn’t dare look up, just took a deep breath and started: “Yesterday, as you know, my computer froze. One of the songs got deleted…”

“You said you had back-ups yesterday when I took Channie home. And you said you were done with the songs today. I don’t understand”, Jeonghan commented, fire in his voice. 

Jihoon’s tongue was in knots.

“Hannie.” Seungcheol sighed. “Let him explain. Jihoonie, were you missing a whole song today or not?”

“I was. I thought I had a back-up, I really did. That’s why I told you and Chan that it’s no issue. But after you left I saw that the back-up wasn’t there. I checked every folder thrice, checked spelling mistakes, the recycle bin. It wasn’t there. I knew I had to re-do it by tomorrow for the meeting with the higher-ups. Otherwise the comeback would be pushed back. With the meeting and practice today I couldn’t finish it today. I didn’t have enough time. So …”

“So you decided that faking sick was the only option?”, Jeonghan interrupted again. He was truly angry. Oh, and hurt. “Why didn’t you talk to us? Why does it matter if you have one song more or less?”

“I’m sorry”, Jihoon explained quietly, “I just … the comeback. It might get pushed back if the song was not done. You all worked so hard and I lost a song? And … one of the executives … he isn’t very … he … I don’t think he likes me very much. He always has things to criticize with my songs just for the sake of criticism. I know whatever I’ll show him he will hate. The best I can do is do what we agreed on and hope he doesn’t yell at me in front of the other executives and makes me re-do everything…”

Jihoon realized at that point he hadn’t taken one breath during his explanation as his voice went raw and he got so dizzy that he felt like he was about to fall over. He heaved in a deep breath, nearly choking on it in his haste to be able to continue. If he didn’t tell them now, he would forever lose the courage to.

“I was scared to tell him I lost the song. He would be so angry and I didn’t want to be yelled at, again. And I wasn’t going to let them blame Dino. I could have made the mistake myself and … I didn’t tell you I needed to work on the song because I didn’t want Dino to blame himself. Especially if I didn’t manage to write the song and the comeback would be pushed back… I didn’t know what else to do… I am so sorry. I never wanted to lie to you but …”

Jihoon curled further into himself as he thought about the tall, intimidating man who wanted to make his life a living hell. How was he going to meet him tomorrow? He couldn’t face him … he didn’t think he was brave enough after today.

Now he just had to endure his hyungs’ judgment.

He missed the looks of horror that passed between his eldest hyungs but then Seungcheol was suddenly on his knees in front of him again, tears in his eyes. 

As the leader reached out, Jihoon couldn’t help but flinch. He had never imagined he would be scared of Seungcheol but here he was. Frightened out of his mind that the leader wouldn’t care for his explanations. Would still think Jihoon was egoistical, focused on his solo career, a liar and not a teamplayer. Somebody he didn’t want to call a member or friend anymore.

“Jihoonie”, Seungcheol whimpered, “why didn’t you say? Why didn’t you tell me or anybody that the executive was so horrible to you? I could have done something, talked with the managers. How long has this been going on? No wonder you were always so scared of those meetings… I should have known you weren’t just shy to present the songs but actively scared…”

“I didn’t want to make a fuss. You have so much on your plate, hyung. I could deal with him on my own. It was harmless, really, I … I guess I’m just a coward…”

“Stop. You are anything but a coward, Jihoon-ah”, Jeonghan interrupted, running his hands through his hair on the other couch. He looked so distressed it hurt to watch him. “God, you were so scared and trying to protect Dino and the group and we … we were horrible to you…we didn’t even let you explain.”

Jihoon shook his head. He couldn’t let his hyungs blame themselves. “It doesn’t matter. I fucked up, nevertheless. Bumzu accidentally took the back-ups home. There was no need for me to lie to you and skip my duties today. The song was done and ready for tomorrow and I just … I manipulated you and made you do stuff for me even when I didn’t need it. I told you I was sick when I wasn’t … I …”

“You only learned that the files were safe when Bumzu came to the company, right? I met him in the hallway earlier, so you spent nearly half the day scared out of your mind of the meeting and trying to reconstruct the song?”, Seungcheol asked timidly.

Jihoon nodded and silence fell between the three of them. Jihoon couldn’t meet their eyes.

Now that he had laid his soul bare before his hyungs and told his story, he really realized how awful he felt. Shivers were racking his body and he felt incredibly nauseous. His mouth was rapidly filling with saliva and his throat felt thick. He didn’t feel good at all.

He was unable to focus on whatever else Jeonghan said, feeling panic rise within him. Why was he feeling so sick now? His illness was just fake. With how miserable he felt, his eyes started to burn again and he couldn’t help but cry, choking on the air he tried to take in. He just wanted to feel okay, not stressed and afraid and definitely not sick. 

“Jihoonie? Please don’t cry, love. You did nothing wrong.” Jeonghan’s worried voice pierced its way through the fog in Jihoon’s brain, just before he couldn’t stop it anymore. 

A nearly silent gag brought the water he had drunk earlier up his throat and then it spilled down his chin, dripping onto his shirt and lap.  It was a terrible sensation, his body too weak to even really throw up with any force. A few mouthfuls of sick came up, choking him and making him cry more. 

But his stomach was empty and after a few cut-off dry heaves, Jihoon was done. 

With tears sticking to his lashes and obscuring his sight, Jihoon blinked up from his - Soonyoung’s - soiled hoodie at his hyungs who looked incredibly worried and confused. Seungcheol instantly reached out to squeeze Jihoon’s hands again.

“I thought you said you faked being sick”, he said, confusion and worry in his tone.

“I did… I …” Jihoon felt too nauseous to continue, just swallowing against a new wave of nausea. What was going on? 

The leader sighed and placed his hand against Jihoon’s forehead.

“You’re burning up and I guess you’re running a pretty high fever. The stress got to you after all, huh?”, he mumbled, brushing back Jihoon’s hair.

Jihoon shrugged. It didn’t matter now.

“Let’s clean you up”, Jeonghan suggested. “Is … is it okay if we help you? We … we were horrible to you, accused you of things we should have known you would never do. Guess we’re all stressed about the comeback though that doesn’t excuse our words… what I am trying to say: Do you want us to call one of the other members to help? It’s okay if you don’t want us around at the moment, especially if you are feeling vulnerable and sick. We can talk this out later.”

One of Soonyoung’s hugs sounded incredible at the moment. Or Wonwoo’s quiet comfort. If he was honest, Jihoon was still slightly scared that Seungcheol and Jeonghan would turn their backs on him. They had done it so easily … but he couldn’t deny he wanted the comfort of his mat-hyungs, no matter what. And he wanted to get out of his vomit-stained clothes as soon as possible.

“Help me?”, he asked, not sure suddenly if the offer was actually an offer and not just what they felt they had to do. “But if you don’t want … I mean, I’d understand if you were still angry…”

“Baby, we always want to help you. We’re not angry, everything but … we were terrible to you and I think we will spend the rest of your lives making it up to you. We would be happy if you allowed us to help now”, Seungcheol said, his voice breaking a bit.

“Okay.”

💎

Half-an-hour later, Jihoon was freshly showered thanks to Seungcheol helping him stay upright in the slippery shower, and dressed in the comfiest pajamas that Jeonghan could find in his own closet. He had thrown up again after the heat of the shower got to him, but now he was curled up on the couch in Jeonghan’s lap with a precautionary towel under his head and a bucket placed at his side. Seungcheol, as clingy as Jeonghan, was sitting on the floor by their side, holding Jihoon’s hand.

“Jihoonie, we will never be able to say how sorry we are for what we said. We made you out to be a terrible member, a terrible person while you were just scared and actively protecting yourself and our maknae”, Seungcheol said, the earnesty in his voice only overshined by the honesty in his eyes. “We should have known you would never fake sick just for the fun of it or, God, I still can’t believe I said that, for your own solo. We couldn’t have been further away from the truth and we are so sorry for everything that has happened today. We know you are none of those things we said, you are still our Jihoonie, our favorite hyung-line baby.”

Jeonghan nodded in agreement, wiping his eyes and sniffling. “You are the most important thing, love. Not the comeback, not the songs. We wish you would have felt comfortable coming to us and tell us how the executive was treating you and you better believe he will face consequences. We’re so sorry it came so far that you felt like you had to fake being sick instead of talking to us. Especially as it turns out you actually are sick. We should have let you explain from the start.”

“And we need to talk about communication when you’re better. I am not saying you should have stopped us when we started accusing you of things because we never should have assumed in the first place without letting you explain but … well, we may need to rethink meetings and responsibilities in the future. You won’t have so much responsibility on just your shoulders anymore and somebody will accompany you to those meetings. But for now, you rest and get better”, Seungcheol added, “we’ll be with you. We love you so much, Jihoonie. So much.”

“We do”, Jeonghan agreed, placing a kiss on Jihoon’s hair.

“I love you too”, Jihoon answered, smiling a bit. 

He couldn’t quite yet believe that everything had turned around. Mentally he had already half-written his apology to the members and their Caratdeul, the company and the executives. He had already thought about how to get his stuff packed quickly before the other’s came home, unable to stand looking into their hateful eyes.

But none of that was happening. He was safe, he was going to stay a member of the team. His hyungs knew about the … well, he could probably call it by its name, verbally-abusive executive and he would never have to see the man again. He could rest in his hyungs’s arms and finally be at peace. He was home.

Notes: Much thanks to @writercloud for this amazing idea, for bouncing off possible scenarios with me and beta-reading it! 

Masterlist links: Fairy's Masterlist 2024 Fairy's Masterlist 2025 Fairy's Masterlist - SEVENTEEN

[fairyniceyeah]

💎🍚A silent war we never wanted (Part 2/3)

Title from SOS (SEVENTEEN)

A silent war we never wanted I

Summary: All it took was a frozen monitor, a panicked maknae and about five delayed clicks to delete a whole song on his computer. Jihoon is already so scared and unwell and now he needs to write a whole new song to give to the executives in an impossible time-frame.

CW: emeto, insecurity, fights, idol mistreatment, forced emeto

Sickie/Whumpee: Woozi/Jihoon

Caretaker(s): Bumzu + S.Coups/Seungcheol + Jeonghan

Five minutes later, Seungcheol arrived, a manager and Seungkwan and Hoshi in his wake. Their dorm’s maknae was carrying a cup of tea, a fever thermometer and a tray of ice chips, with Hoshi holding a hot water bottle and some meds. 

Jihoon really didn’t deserve them.

“Hey, kiddo”, Seungcheol greeted, ushering Jeonghan to move over and sitting in his place. “How are you?”

Jihoon didn’t even need to answer, Jeonghan did it for him. “Queasy and headachey. He said he threw up before coming home from the company. I don’t think he has a fever but thanks for bringing the thermometer.”

Within seconds Seungcheol had placed the thermometer under Jihoon’s tongue and was carding his hand through Jihoon’s hair. Hoshi handed Jeonghan the hot water bottle that he placed against Jihoon’s stomach and the meds, the tea and the ice chips were placed on Jihoon’s bedside table.

In any other situation the fussing might have been nice - Jihoon needing some TLC at times too - but that day it was the worst that could happen. Already the guilt was eating him up. Everybody had dropped everything for him and he was misusing it. 

Seungcheol seemed to sense his emotional state even if not knowing the reason for it and ordered Hoshi and Seungkwan out, which helped a bit. The thermometer beeped.

“37.8°C”, Seungcheol read.

“That’s not a fever”, the manager interjected, “Woozi-ssi, do you think you can work today?”

Why was the most hard-ass manager on duty today? Their normal manager, who was on a trip with his family at the moment, would have taken one look at Jihoon and ordered him to rest. Jihoon had not been prepared to fight this fight.

But again, Jeonghan interjected for him. “Manager-nim, I am sorry, but no. Jihoonie is resting today. You know we’re not supposed to work when sick. He threw up and it is an elevated temperature.”

Seungcheol nodded in agreement. “I won’t let Jihoon work today. We can do the meeting without him and he is very much on track with practice. He can afford to miss a day or two.”

The manager frowned. “Still he doesn’t have a fever. He only said he threw up, nobody saw, right? Are we even sure he is really sick and not just wants to skip the meeting?”

A shiver wrecked Jihoon’s body.

With all the planning he had done and the worries he had, he had never even entertained the thought of somebody finding out or thinking he was faking. What would the members think of him? They’d be disgusted with him, think he was lazy. How could they ever trust him again if they knew?

He felt sick at the thought.

So he did the only thing he could think of to save himself, to save his reputation. 

Jihoon slapped a hand over his mouth, faking a gag, and pushed himself up. It was sudden enough for the two hyungs and the manager to not stop him when he rushed from the room, faking choked coughs.

Slamming his bedroom door as well as the bathroom door behind himself shut, bought him enough time to stick his finger down his throat. His gag reflex was very weak on a good day and it didn’t take much to turn the fake gagging into real gagging. Vomit spilled over his hand into the toilet and he coughed harshly, choking on it a bit. 

He managed to pull his hand away so that it just looked like he had thrown up in it, not caused himself to throw up, before Seungcheol and Jeonghan pulled open the door. Seungcheol immediately dropped down beside him and brushed back Jihoon’s hair, while Jeonghan stayed back. 

Not much came up, considering that Jihoon hadn’t eaten since the early evening - covering his alibi of throwing up before - and he was soon done, sinking back against Seungcheol. His eyes were watering from the force of it all and then it hit him.

He had made himself vomit so he could fake sick and lie to his members. 

With a broken sob, he pulled his knees close and hugged himself, trying to keep his hand from dirtying his sleep shorts. Seungcheol pulled him away from the toilet, causing another sob to break through Jihoon’s defenses, and then Jeonghan tenderly started cleaning his hand. 

“Do you feel better now, Jihoonie?”, Jeonghan asked worriedly, using the back of the washcloth to wipe Jihoon’s face. Humiliated and overwhelmed, Jihoon nodded.

“Believe him now?”, Seungcheol asked sharply, looking up at the manager who was now standing in the bathroom door, Hoshi and Seungkwan, lured back by the activity, hovering behind him.

“Fine, he can stay home. Nobody else will, though. The meeting and practice is important.”

“But…”, Seungcheol started.

Trying to pull himself together, Jihoon took a deep breath, tapping Seungcheol’s arm to get his attention. “I can stay alone. I don’t mind.”

“Jihoonie, you’re really sick”, Jeonghan argued, getting hummed approval by the three other members. 

“Manager-nim is right. Today is important. I’m just going to sleep anyway”, Jihoon persisted. He was lucky he had the manager on “his side” now. He couldn’t risk a member staying back, foiling his plans. 

“Promise you’ll call if you need help?”, Seungcheol asked, sighing. He knew there was no point arguing with Jihoon.

“Promise”, Jihoon whispered.

💎

Twenty minutes later, he was at the dorm alone. The members had left rather reluctantly, fussing over him to an extreme extent. Jihoon knew it stemmed from love, which made him feel even worse deceiving them.

Jeonghan had promised to take notes for him and asked him about five times if he was really okay with being alone. Seungcheol had tried to get him to take some meds which Jihoon had managed to resist, so instead he forced Jihoon to hydrate with the tea Seungkwan had warmed up for him again. Hoshi had even tried to cuddle him despite Jihoon pointing out he could be contagious. In the end the dance leader had contended himself with feeding Jihoon some of the ice chips himself. 

Jihoon waited about fifteen minutes until they had left before getting up to get ready to go to the company, in case somebody had forgotten something and came back. When everything seemed clear, he put on some comfy sweatpants and a hoodie, quickly brushing his hair and teeth. Then he ordered a taxi. 

With every minute that brought him closer to the company his hands started to sweat more and more. His nerves were blank, scared he would meet somebody on his way in. He went so far as to stop the taxi driver a block earlier so nobody saw a car arriving. Then he sneaked into the building by using the old fire door that was mostly used as a smoker’s exit close to the universe factory. The hallway down there was empty, with Bumzu still on vacation, yet Jihoon could only breathe better once he locked the studio door behind himself.

💎

Five hours later Woozi was ready to cry. He had barely made any progress with the song, only finishing a few bars but not even having any idea what it was supposed to be about and unable to recall any of the deleted or think of new lyrics.

Along with his frustration and fear, the headache rose to new levels, coming close but not quite to a migraine pain. The fried nerves had turned into a very real stomach ache, though he also hadn’t eaten in nearly twenty hours and also thought it could be hunger if not for the nausea that was hell-bent on making him even more miserable.

It really wasn’t his week.

Every minute that he wasted on empty thoughts brought him closer to failure. Brought the group closer to failure. 

Yet no matter how much he wanted to be productive, his body didn’t cooperate. Writer’s block was the worst and coupled with anxiety over the deadline he was brought to despair. 

He needed to calm down, Woozi knew that. The worry didn’t help him at all. He closed his eyes and rested his head in his hands, palms pressing into his eye sockets.

“Jihoonie?”

At the sudden calling of his name, Woozi jerked upright, nearly losing his balance and just barely not slipping from the swivel chair as a result. Whirling around he was faced with Bumzu, who was looking at him with the same surprise that he probably had on his own face. 

Fuck.

Bumzu was supposed to be on vacation.

“What are you doing here?”, they asked simultaneously. 

Bumzu held up his hand and said: “Sorry, eomma, I’ll call you back later.” Only then did Jihoon realize that the older producer had been on the phone, which he now pocketed.

“You’re supposed to be on vacation”, Jihoon stuttered out.

“I forgot I still have an usb-drive with all the backup files that I needed to bring back before we leave to visit my halmeoni”, Bumzu explained and stepped closer to sit on the other chair to face Jihoon. “What concerns me more is the fact that Coups told me that you are at home sick and puking and yet I find you here.”

Jihoon could only blink at the older producer for a moment, before whispering: “You have all the songs?”

As Bumzu nodded, confused, Jihoon couldn’t help it.

Tears filled his eyes and he sobbed in relief, hands coming up to hide his face. Even if the file was gone on his computer, Bumzu had a backup. He didn’t need to rewrite the song. He would not get yelled at tomorrow and be the reason why the comeback needed to be pushed back. 

He had slightly forgotten that he wasn’t alone, so Jihoon jumped in surprise when a hand came to rest on his shoulder and Bumzu asked worriedly: “Jihoonie? Why are you crying? What’s going on?”

Jihoon couldn’t find the words to answer, his tears draining the last of his energy. Bumzu sighed and pulled him into his arms, leaving Jihoon to sob against his mentor's shoulder.

💎

Jihoon cried himself to exhaustion, thankful to Bumzu who sat patiently with him, comforting him and offering sips of water once Jihoon managed to calm down.

“I’m sorry”, Jihoon whispered, gesturing at the wet patch on Bumzu’s shirt. It was the first words he could really think of. 

“Don’t worry about it. Just, Jihoonie, tell me what’s going on, please”, the older producer pleaded, worry obvious in his tone. “I’m really worried. This isn’t like you. Why are you here if you are sick?”

“I’m not sick”, Jihoon explained quietly, instantly getting interrupted.

“As I said, Coups told me you threw up. I’d classify that as being sick. Literally.”

Jihoon took a deep breath. “It’s a long story.”

He owed the truth to his friend.

Bumzu listened to him attentively, never once interrupting and gently holding Jihoon’s hand, rubbing circles with his thumb whenever Jihoon got too worked up. 

“You’ve really gone through it, huh?”, Bumzu commented when Jihoon was done. “I’m sorry I took the backup with me. You could have called, you know. And we definitely need to try to find a solution to deal with that executive, it’s not right that you are so scared. Making yourself throw up because you are so desperate and afraid … Jihoonie … you need to tell Seungcheol.”

Jihoon shrugged. He was so tired.

“We don’t have to solve that now. How about I ask Coups-yah to take you home? The song is done and so are you. I can’t take you home, I really need to get back to my eomma. I promise I won’t tell him you faked if you want to keep it secret. We can pretend you wanted to keep working.”

“Yeah, let’s do that.” Jihoon was too exhausted to care anymore.

💎

Bumzu had already left, letting Jihoon know where he had saved the songs, by the time the leader and the vice leader burst through the door. Both of them looked incredibly worried and Jihoon couldn’t even fault them for it. He was sure he looked like a mess, with red-rimmed eyes and oversized clothing. Now that he thought about it, he was pretty sure at least the hoodie belonged to Soonyoung.

“Oh, baby”, Jeonghan cooed, rushing over to wrap Jihoon in his arms. Jihoon buried his face in Jeonghan’s chest, trying to contain his shaking. He didn’t want to keep lying.

“I thought you were done with the songs”, Jeonghan said quietly. 

Jihoon nodded. “I was. It’s … it’s a long story. I’m sorry I lied to you. I didn’t know what else to do.”

Seungcheol looked less than impressed as he mustered Jihoon, who shrunk under his glare. 

Instantly Seungcheol softened up a bit but his face remained in a rather stern look. “You can tell us at home. And explain to us why you went to work here when the songs were done. You have no reason to be here, you should have been at the meeting if you think you are able to work through this sickness. Are you even sick? I mean, you threw up but … I don’t want to believe it but … was the manager right? Did you just fake and hide out here to have a nice day?”

Jeonghan gave a protesting sound but it was drowned out by Jihoon bursting into sobs again. He couldn’t help it anymore. He didn’t want to lie to them again. Not when Seungcheol apparently already believed he had lied to them for his personal gain. But before he could say anything, explain himself, Jeonghan pulled away, a frown on his face. 

“Lee Jihoon, be honest: Are you sick?”, Jeonghan asked, eyes narrowed.

Jihoon shook his head. That was it. He opened his mouth to continue but …

“I … I can’t believe it”, Jeonghan huffed, his caring attitude instantly turning into anger and he took a step back. Jihoon couldn’t fault him for it. “You faked. You really faked. You made us worry, we made you tea and brought you ice chips and a hot water bottle and even unknowingly helped you lie to the manager … for what? I don’t get it.”

Seungcheol had his arms crossed, looking as intimidating as some fans and hobaes thought he was. “Me neither. What did you have to gain from lying to us? Your songs were done and so you thought you could skip the meeting and practice? You’re not just a producer you know, you’re an idol. Act like one and show up to the more unpleasant parts. I never had expected this from you.”

Jihoon shrunk under their harsh words, feeling worse with every passing second. He had really fucked up. Why did they think so horribly of him? Didn’t they trust him? Would they ever trust him again? They just pushed away the fact that he had thrown up, which they seemingly had not even linked to faking, and yet they didn’t seem to care.

“Speak”, Jeonghan ordered, his voice carrying none of the kindness it had this morning. “Speak, Jihoon. Tell us what has been going on. Why you lied to us and made us do nice stuff for you when you are perfectly fine. Why you thought you could just skip out on your duties, the group’s duties. We don’t like meeting either, you know? Still we went there without complaints.”

But Jihoon was frozen. Every word his hyungs spat at him felt like knives twisting into his very being. What could he even say? No matter what he wanted to say to explain the situation like he had to Bumzu, it wouldn’t leave his lips.

“Jihoon, what were you doing? Bumzu said you were working on songs but you say you were done with them. Were you lying to him too?”

Finally Jihoon was able to speak. 

“I’m sorry”, he forced out but, of course, it was too late. The wrong question and the wrong answer.

“Let’s go home”, Seungcheol said, voice icy, “we will keep pretending you are sick. We can’t have the managers doubting other honestly sick members because of you.”

The ride home in Seungcheol’s car was tense and silent. Jihoon sat in the back behind Jeonghan, curled into himself. He could see how hard Seungcheol was gripping the steering wheel and that Jeonghan was trying not to cry. 

A silent war we never wanted III

Masterlist links: Fairy's Masterlist 2024 Fairy's Masterlist 2025 Fairy's Masterlist - SEVENTEEN

[fairyniceyeah]

💎🍚A silent war we never wanted (Part 1/3)

Title from SOS (SEVENTEEN)

Summary: All it took was a frozen monitor, a panicked maknae and about five delayed clicks to delete a whole song on his computer. Jihoon is already so scared and unwell and now he needs to write a whole new song to give to the executives in an impossible time-frame.

CW: emeto, insecurity, fights, idol mistreatment

Sickie/Whumpee: Woozi/Jihoon Caretaker(s): Bumzu + S.Coups/Seungcheol + Jeonghan

All it took was a frozen monitor, a panicked maknae and about five delayed clicks to delete a whole song on his computer.

Dino had been so terrified of Woozi’s reaction when the computer came back online and the file was gone, that he had nearly burst into tears. Not wanting that and sure he had saved a back-up of that song somewhere Woozi had managed to get the younger calmed down and sent him home with strict orders to rest.

They were all on edge, all stressed with a comeback looming on the horizon. So yeah, Woozi wasn’t going to blame Dino - honestly, he might have made the same mistakes in his position. Besides, the whole reason for Dino to come to the universe factory was to bring his producer-hyung a fresh, warm meal and some company. It had been very sweet of him. 

Once Dino had gone home with Jeonghan, still a bit shaken up, Jihoon had pulled up the back-up files and searched through them.

He came to the horrifying conclusion that there were, in fact, no back-up song files anywhere to be found at the same time that his phone pinged, signaling a message from Seungcheol in the group chat. Jihoon, hoping to calm down and try to find the file again after, decided to open the chat.

Coups-hyung (22:34): Due to schedule issues the meeting about the comeback with management has been moved up. Please be there tmrw at 10 am sharp. I’ll let you know which room in time. Sorry about that.

No, no, no. 

That couldn’t be happening. It couldn’t have come at a worse time.

Jihoon entered the name of the song in the search bar again but with the same result as before: No files with that name found. He checked his spelling. He checked the recycle bin. He checked every spelling mistake he could think of. He checked every whole file folder three times. 

The song was gone. 

Five clicks and hours of work were gone.

The day after tomorrow was the day Woozi was supposed to present the songs for the album to management. But now he was short one song. He had intended to use tomorrow to check everything over and prepare himself mentally and thematically for the asshole executive guy who seemed to dislike Woozi even more than his job and always hated whatever Woozi presented. Woozi had even once submitted a song file after the man had complained about the first version of it for ages only for him to like the “updated” version much better. It was the same file as the first.

But now he was one song short. He probably could have done it in the roughly thirty-four hours he had left until the meeting if it wasn’t a song that mostly Bumzu, who was on a well-deserved vacation at the moment, had worked on and one that Woozi hadn’t looked at for over a month. He barely remembered it, if he was honest. 

Bumzu would be understanding of Woozi's situation - he himself had accidentally deleted files before though not to this magnitude - but the executives wouldn’t be. And there was no way in hell that Woozi would throw his maknae under the bus.

And now there was the meeting tomorrow, which would likely take up most of the day. After that would still be a dance practice. 

There was no way Woozi would be able to finish the song in time.

Jihoon withstood the urge to let his head slam onto the desk in front of him. The meeting with management tomorrow was, as all comeback meetings, mandatory for the members. For a good reason - the company wanted their input and they themselves wanted to be involved in their own comeback too, after all. 

But if he went to the meeting and skipped the dance practice … 

Was that even possible? They all knew he got worried before the executive meeting and would likely, for his own good, force him to participate in practice to distract him. Jihoon didn’t want to imagine the heart-broken look on Dino’s face if he admitted he needed to work on the whole song again. No, he couldn’t let the members know.

So, even despite wanting nothing less than to disappoint his members and leave them hanging, Jihoon knew he needed to get out of the meeting and practice tomorrow. 

Just how?

The only two options of being allowed to skip the meeting were if a member was literally not in Korea or if a member was sick. There was no way Jihoon could fly to Japan or wherever to work on the song - the thought itself was ridiculous. 

So … faking sick it was?

Honestly, Jihoon hated the idea with his whole heart. It felt like betrayal to his hard-working members and to their Caratdeul. They would work towards their comeback and he … well, he would also work for the comeback. Secretly. While lying to his members. Faking sickness to get out of a meeting and sneak to the studio.

Jihoon felt disgusted with himself, a coiling feeling of nausea in his stomach that was coming close to actual sickness, that he was even contemplating it. 

Yet, if he didn’t manage to write a whole new song - he would definitely owe at least Bumzu the truth about where the song had gone - tonight, the comeback might need to be pushed back. He would get yelled at by the executives. Once the members heard what had happened, Dino would figure it out and blame himself. 

No, Jihoon needed to do this. There was no other way.

He consoled himself with thoughts of their happy maknae and the knowledge that somebody would fill him in on the contents of the meeting, as well as his deep trust in the members that they would create the best comeback yet.

💎

It was around three in the morning that Jihoon arrived back at the dorm. He had given up on the idea of working any longer when the words and notes didn’t stop swimming in front of his eyes. His head was pounding badly and all he wanted to do was sleep.

Realistically he knew that he needed sleep. He was just human after all. Deep down, he still thought he should use the time to work on the song, despite everything be productive. He shoved the thoughts down.

On the taxi ride back, Jihoon had spent some time thinking about how he could fake being sick. Coughing and sneezing he couldn’t fake, like a fever, and the first two wouldn’t get him out of work anyways. A migraine would be nothing suspicious, he had them often enough for there to be a migraine protocol, but then one member (or worse: a manager) would have to stay back with him, considering he was always helpless on the bathroom floor for hours when one struck. That would destroy his plan.

In the end he had come to the conclusion that the easiest thing to fake was likely a stomach flu. If he told a hyung he threw up during the night, he would be allowed to stay home alone. Nobody wanted a gastrointestinal sickness to spread through the company.

He slipped inside the dorm he shared with Jeonghan, Hoshi, and Seungkwan, and checked if anybody was awake. To his luck they all were deeply asleep and not even Jeonghan, the light-sleeper he was, woke up when Jihoon peeked into his room. He swallowed down some pain meds for his headache and got ready for bed. 

After brushing his teeth quickly, Jihoon snuck the designated sick bucket into his room to give a more solid alibi, before collapsing onto his bed, ready to fall asleep.

Sleep wouldn’t come. He had tossed and turned for hours but he never really managed to rest. A few times he dozed off but it wasn’t restful and he was awake again within minutes, sweating and shaking.

It was nervousness, for sure, and guilt to top it of. His stomach felt weird, as if it knew he was going to act like it was, and the headache barely dimmed. With the blanket over him he was sweating within minutes, feeling too hot, and without it he was freezing. 

Jihoon wasn’t sure but maybe he had slumbered a bit by the time he heard the first footsteps in the hall. Jeonghan, most likely, was awake.

Suddenly a flash of hotness overcame his body, causing Jihoon to unintentionally whimper, quickly stifling it into his pillow. He felt desperate and overwhelmed and just … not good. It was so wrong to lie to his members. 

Maybe he should have told Jeonghan about the situation, or even Seungcheol. The only thing stopping him from just throwing the idea to the side was the knowledge that both hyungs would throw a fit if they knew just how terrified Jihoon was of that one executive. It was ridiculous really that the man scared Jihoon so much but he couldn’t help it.

No matter how often he told himself the very many good reasons for doing what he was about to do, he felt sick with guilt. 

Jihoon was about to call the whole thing off, just go out and pretend like everything was fine, smuggle the bucket back to its place in a lone moment or just say he had felt queasy but was fine now, when a knock came on his door.

“Jihoonie, it’s time to get up”, Jeonghan called gently, opening the door. 

Not thinking for a moment longer, Jihoon pretended to be asleep. He needed this to be realistic and he was not a coward going to back out.

“Jiho… baby?” Jeonghan must have spotted the bucket from the way his voice changed from his tender “waking-everybody-up” voice to a worried tone with a hint of panic. His footsteps quickly came closer and then Jeonghan sat down on the bed beside Jihoon's hip, not even bothering to close the door on his way in. 

Jihoon felt the bed dip under the added weight and then a hand shook his shoulder. “Jihoonie, wake up.”

He did his best impression of waking up not feeling good. At least all the acting on GoSe had paid off. 

“Hyungie?”, he whispered, hoping it came out as tired and sick-feeling as he could. If Jeonghan got suspicious he was lying … no, he couldn’t go down that train of thought now. He rolled over a bit so he could look at his hyung whose eyes were shining in concern and now moved his hand to stroke Jihoon’s hair.

“Are you feeling sick, baby?”, Jeonghan asked, “What's going on?”

“I … I threw up during the night. I don’t feel good”, Jihoon replied as pitifully as he could. 

Jeonghan pouted, a frown on his face. “Oh, baby, why didn’t you wake me?”

“It was at the company. I went home after”, Jihoon lied, “you were sleeping so peacefully, so I didn’t want to wake you. I can take care of myself.”

Jeonghan sighed, his hand never stopping the gentle administrations in Jihoon’s hair. “I would have wanted to help, you know that. But what is done is done, just next time wake me.” Jihoon nodded sheepishly. “How do you feel now?”

“Queasy. My stomach hurts. My head does too”, Jihoon said. At least the last one wasn’t a lie. 

“You’re not overly warm”, Jeonghan remarked, “but, you definitely are not going to the company today. Take your time to rest. You were done with the songs anyways, right?” Jeonghan smiled, obviously trying to make Jihoon feel better about missing the day but all it did was make Jihoon want to cry. 

So he just squeezed his eyes shut and nodded. 

“What about the meeting and practice?”, he asked, knowing he would have asked if he was truly sick.

“I’m going to call Cheollie and let him deal with it. I’ll personally write down everything from the meeting for you if you want me to.”

Jihoon went to answer when Seungkwan appeared in the doorway. “Hyung, do you know where my …? Woah, is everything okay?”

“Jihoonie is sick”, Jeonghan said, moving his legs so that Seungkwan could see the bucket hiding behind them. “He’s going to stay home today.”

“Oh no, hyungie”, Seungkwan said, looking truly as sad about the whole situation as if he was the sick member. He was so full of empathy, so unhappy in the face of his hyung’s apparent misery that it hurt Jihoon to see. Yet, it was also very cute how caring he was. “Can I do anything to help you feel better?”

“Could you go and make some tea and maybe bring some ice chips?”, Jeonghan asked, then turned to Jihoon, “Do you think you could eat and take some meds? Is there anything else you need? Hot water bottle? Something else?”

Jihoon shook his head. It was awful how they fussed about him, going all the lengths just for Jihoon to be lying and faking everything. He couldn’t accept any kindness they showed him. And he couldn’t take any nausea meds without reason. 

“I don’t want to eat”, he said, “I still don’t feel great. I don’t need anything…”

Seungkwan and Jeonghan both looked at him with the same unimpressed glare, so Jihoon ducked his head, feeling even more embarrassed and guilty.

“Be right back with some stuff”, Seungkwan announced and hurried out of the room.

“Let’s call Cheollie, yes?”, Jeonghan suggested and Jihoon nodded. It was awful lying to Jeonghan and Seungkwan, lying to his oldest friend was even worse. But he had to get through it.

Jeonghan dialed the number and put the phone on speaker. It barely took two rings before a sleepy “Good morning, Hannie” came through the speakers. Seungcheol sounded tired and Jihoon could perfectly imagine him half-lying on their kitchen table, holding a cup of coffee. 

“Morning, ddadu”, Jeonghan greeted. A loud screech came through the speakers - Mingyu? - and then there was a bit of yelling. Jihoon winced at the volume, his headache doing him no favors. Jeonghan noticed right away and moved his hand so he was gently massaging Jihoon’s temple with his thumb. 

“Guys, please”, Seungcheol scolded the members, “Hao, you know Mingyu didn’t mean to break your teacup. Gyu, please apologize nevertheless and never touch them again while you’re at it. Sorry, Hannie. What’s up?”

“It’s Jihoonie”, Jeonghan explained, “he’s sick, threw up in the night. He can’t come to work today. And you’re on speaker with both of us by the way.”

“Oh”, Seungcheol said, suddenly sounding much more awake. “Okay, yeah. I’ll let management know. Do you need anything? How are you feeling?”

“Not good”, Jihoon groaned, “I’m sorry. I know today is important.”

“You’re sick, it’s not your fault”, Seungcheol said, causing all background noises to stop and Joshua’s voice to come through quite clearly: “Who is sick?”

“Jihoonie”, Seungcheol replied, “guys, let me just … you know what, I’ll come over. Be there in a few. Anything I need to bring?”

“No, thank you. See you in a bit”, Jeonghan said and ended the call before Jihoon could protest. Lying to Seungcheol's face would be even harder than via phone.

Notes: This fits with the theme of today's Sicktember "Pulling a 'Ferris Bueller'" but it is a bit different and also a three part fic, so I decided to not post it as part of Sicktember.

A silent war we never wanted II

Masterlist links: Fairy's Masterlist 2024 Fairy's Masterlist 2025 Fairy's Masterlist - SEVENTEEN

[fairyniceyeah]

💎🐯Day 25: "I should have listened to you"

Guilt/Backseat/Failure

@juneofdoom

Day 24: "Let's get you cleaned up."

Summary: Hoshi really should not have danced this exhausted. Woozi is worried.

CW: minor injury

Whumpee: Hoshi/Soonyoung

Caretaker: Woozi/Jihoon

“I told you so!”, Jihoon seethed, “I told you. So did Coups-hyung and Jeonghan-hyung. And did you listen? NO!”

Hoshi shrunk into himself, alone in the backseat of Seungcheol’s car. He couldn’t deny that Jihoon was right - they all had told him he should rest. He had been up all night trying to create and perfect their newest choreography. He hadn’t slept much, only a short nap between 5am and 6am after he had nearly fallen asleep while dancing. 

Then it had been his responsibility to lead dance practice. Well, Seungcheol, Jeonghan and Jihoon had told him he should let the rest of the performance team do it. He should just rest while the others danced. No, that hadn’t been possible in Hoshi’s mind - besides he had been the only one who really knew the new choreography. The five minute crash course he had given Jun, Minghao and Dino had not been enough. 

But then, not even an hour into practice Hoshi had slipped - his concentration gone and his mind somewhere far away - and had injured his calf. Trying to hide it had not even been an option. Overwhelmed, tired and in pain, in addition to only having a half-finished choreography, had sent him over the edge. Breaking down crying and injured apparently was a one-way ticket back to the dorms.

Jeonghan, kind as he was, hadn’t said much about Hoshi’s stupidity. He had just bugged Seungcheol until the leader had handed over his car keys and then had wrapped his arm around Hoshi’s shoulder, helping him hobble to the car. 

Jihoon - for some reason - had followed them silently, but now that they were in the car, he exploded.

“Jiho-”, Jeonghan started, throwing a worried glance at Hoshi through the rear mirror. 

“Don’t Jihoon-ah me, hyung”, Jihoon interrupted loudly, “he needs to hear this. It’s his fault, he should bear the consequences.”

“Lee Jihoon, that’s enough!”, Jeonghan scolded, his voice sharp, “I don’t appreciate your tone. Yes, Soonyoung-ah should have listened to us. But yelling at him won’t help him heal faster. Besides, he already knows he fucked up.”

Hoshi inhaled shakily, staring down at his lap. His fingers were drumming a beat on his thigh without any conscious thought. All his mind knew was that, yes, Jihoon was right. He should have listened. He knew dancing when exhausted was dangerous. 

Now they were down amember and due to him the choreo wouldn’t be finished in time. Like Jeonghan had said - Hoshi had really fucked up.

The rest of the drive was spent in tense silence. Jeonghan was gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles turned white. Jihoon had his arms crossed and was staring out the window with a harsh glare. Hoshi himself didn’t look up at all - he tried to rearrange the choreo in his head. Without himself, just for twelve members, knowing he’d likely not be able to dance. While Jun and Minghao both were pretty sure it was just a mild strain in his calf, it still meant Hoshi would have to take it easy, very easy, the next week or two.

Once they arrived in the garage to their dorm building, Jeonghan made it clear he didn’t want Hoshi to walk. Which meant, to both their distastes, Woozi having to carry Hoshi on his back. The producer was strong, so it was no real issue, but both of them would rather have preferred to ignore each other for the rest of the day.

Once he had set down Hoshi on his bed, Jihoon basically fled the room, leaving Hoshi on his own.

The dancer was grateful to his previous self that had left his sleep clothes on his bed, so without having to move from the bed, he was able to change quickly. He felt seriously disgusting and sweaty from practice but he sure as hell would not ask one of the others to help him shower. He had caused enough problems today. Hoshi dropped his dirty practice clothes on a heap on the floor and shuffled under the bed covers. He just wanted to sleep after having stayed up all night.

With nerves strung as high as his, it was not an easy task. His leg was really throbbing now too. There were soft sounds coming from the kitchen. Were Jeonghan and Jihoon making lunch without him? If he was honest, Hoshi was starving. He hadn’t eaten since dinner yesterday and now it was early in the afternoon. His stomach growled but he tried to ignore it. He didn’t want his members to be even more angry with him if they found out he had not eaten and that they needed to make him food. 

Hoshi had nearly drifted off, when a soft knock came on the door. He sighed. He didn’t think he could look any of the members in the face after everything, so he closed his eyes. Maybe whoever it was - Jeonghan, hopefully, since he hadn’t heard anybody else come into the dorm and Woozi was not who he wanted to see - would leave if he pretended to be asleep.

“Sooyoung-ah?”, Jihoon said impatiently. Hoshi could imagine him standing in the doorway with his arms crossed and tapping his foot. What he couldn’t imagine was why Jihoon, being so obviously pissed at him, would seek him out.

“Stop pretending to be asleep. I brought you lunch”, Jihoon added. Hoshi groaned and opened his eyes. To his surprise, Jihoon was actually holding a tray with steaming hot food. His stomach growled again and he grimaced.

“I’m not hungry”, he lied, not fancying sitting in his room eating alone while hearing Jeonghan and Jihoon in the kitchen having fun together. 

“Yeah, sure”, Jihoon drawled, an eyebrow raised, “sucks to be you. However, Jeonghan forbade me from going to my studio before you ate something, had painkillers and … well, before we made up again. So, here I am.” His nose scrunched up in disgust.

Hoshi pushed himself into a sitting position, wincing as his calf muscle spasmed. “Since when do you listen to Hannie-hyung?”

Jihoon’s sour expression turned into a pout - it would have been cute if Hoshi didn’t still fear for his life. “He threatened to pour all my coke down the drain. In fact, he disposed of a whole 2l bottle without any reason just to make you believe I would do that.” He said in a mocking voice, clearly repeating what Jeonghan had told him. 

“I’m sorry”, Hoshi said emphatically. He couldn’t help it - he did feel a bit bad for Jihoon. And for the poor wasted coke. 

“Well, I am too”, Jihoon mumbled and came further into the room, pushing the door shut with his foot. He placed the tray onto the bedside table next to Hoshi.

“What should you possibly be sorry for? I should have listened to you, like you already pointed out”, Hoshi pointed out, astonished. He felt his eyebrows raise with the confusion that overcame him. Jihoon had been right, just not polite.

Jihoon scoffed. “Apparently I should have been more understanding and nicer and less Jihoon. I didn’t even know it was possible to use names as a verb but Jeonghan-hyung managed it. You should have heard the way he said it.”

Against himself, Hoshi found himself laughing. It was so typical of their hyung to make up words to fit his agenda. The corners of Jihoon’s mouth twitched and then he started to grin too.

“No, for real. I’m sorry for yelling at you. I was really worried. Seeing you collapse in pain after you ignored my advice was terrible - I should have insisted harder that you should sit out”, Jihoon added, awkwardly fumbling with his sweater paws. “And now you’re hurt.”

Oh. That was not what Hoshi had expected at all. It was like the opposite of what he expected.

“Aren’t you … aren’t you angry that I messed up? I mean, I didn’t finish the choreo. It’s my only job and I failed at it. I got hurt during practice and so now I can’t teach you the choreography and we’re probably going to fall behind on everything and …”

“Stop, Soonyoung-ah, stop”, Jihoon called, frowning, and came to sit down on the bed next to Hoshi, lifting one leg up to rest his head on his knee where he could look at the dancer.

“Nothing of this is your fault. You didn’t fail. You didn’t mean to get injured, did you? Yes, Coups-hyung, Hannie-hyung and I wanted you to sit out because we saw you were so exhausted but we are all so thankful for what you do for us. All the choreographies are so well thought out. Fans call us the most synchronized group and we are thanks to you. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“But…”

“Don’t interrupt me. I’m not saying these mushy things again. Soonyoung-ah, I got angry not because we needed that choreo done and you didn’t listen to us but because I am frustrated with myself. I saw how unsteady and tired you were”, Jihoon continued against Hoshi’s protests, “and yet, I didn’t manage to stop you from getting injured. You have nothing to be guilty about. If anybody, it’s me.”

“I don’t know what to say”, Hoshi mumbled, embarrassed and cheeks burning. Hearing grumpy Jihoon speak like that about him was … an experience. A good one. 

“Please don’t say anything. In fact, if you mention this to anybody, you are dead to me, Kwon Soonyoung”, Jihoon threatened. 

Hoshi was not brave enough to find out if he really meant it.

They both didn’t really know how to continue. Until Hoshi’s stomach growled. Loudly.

He flushed again as Jihoon giggled. “You really should eat. Then you can have pain meds and sleep”, Jihoon said, “and I can go back to the studio without Jeonghan-hyung’s wrath.”

Hoshi nodded in agreement and accepted the tray that the producer lifted onto his lap. They were mostly silent as Hoshi ate, Woozi absently humming a new melody. Once Hoshi was done, Jihoon pushed two pills and a cup of water at him. He downed them quickly.

“Alright, lie down”, Jihoon decided and he even fussed with the blankets until Hoshi was comfortable. “Sleep well. Hannie-hyung is staying here in case you need anything.”

“Thanks, Jihoon-ah”, Hoshi mumbled tiredly. Laying down he now was really exhausted. Quiet footsteps left the room …

… only to return five minutes later.

“Huh?”, Hoshi asked, opening one eye as Jihoon stood in his doorway once again, pouting.

“The traitor poured down another bottle of coke down the drain and told me to go to sleep too. You were in the studio all night, Jihoon-ah”, Jihoon grumbled.

“Why are you here … oh?”, Hoshi questioned and then gave a small “umpf” as Jihoon laid down next to him on the bed - well, more than that. He was basically on top of Hoshi. 

“Go to sleep”, Jihoon ordered.

Who was Hoshi to say no to a cuddly Jihoon?

Day 26: "Don't lie to me!"

Masterlist links: Fairy's Masterlist 2024 Fairy's Masterlist 2025 Fairy's June of Doom 2024  

[fairyniceyeah]

💎🍚Day 4: "Does that hurt?"

Impalement/Fracture/Punishment

@juneofdoom

Day 3: "Please don’t leave me" - Alternate

Summary: While camping Woozi steps onto a tent peg.

CW: blood, injury, fainting, mentions of nausea

Whumpee: Woozi Caretakers: mainly Joshua, Seungcheol + Hoshi

Joshua is woken up in the middle of the night by a loud, pained scream. He sat up, startled and confused, and most of all, very worried. Next to him Seungcheol and Jeonghan shot up, nearly colliding with each other, looking adorably smushed and sleepy.

“You heard that too?”, Joshua asked and the other two nodded. 

As realization overcame tiredness, they all scrambled to open the tent and find out what had happened. They were in the middle of nowhere, not even staff close. They had gotten a week off and co-depended as they were, they had decided to honor their maknae-line’s (well, all except for Mingyu’s) pleas to go camping. 

Even Woozi, hating the outside more than anything, and Mingyu, who was scared of bugs and complained he never fit into tents with his height, had reluctantly agreed. 

Seungcheol, using his broadness as an advantage and led by what Vernon called his “leader-tingle” managed to get out first, pushing Jeonghan to the side in the process. Joshua shivered as a fresh breeze came in from the flapping entrance fabric but also pushed past the stunned Jeonghan to get out and see for himself what one of their dongsaengs had done to themselves.

He was busy ducking through the entrance as he heard Seungcheol gasp and exclaim loudly: “Jihoon-ah, oh my God.” 

Stumbling outside, Joshua found Seungcheol’s silhouette kneeling on the ground by what was their producer’s small frame, arms raised like he didn’t know what to do. Another shiver went down Joshua’s spine but this time not of cold but of fear. Seeing Seungcheol helpless was always terrifying.

There were commotions coming from the other tents as well and, blessedly, somebody finally had the brain power to turn on a flashlight. It not only illuminated the inside of the tent but also showed a sight that would haunt Joshua for a long time to come.

Jihoon’s foot was impaled straight-through by a tent peg, the metal glistening in the low light. The appendage was bent in such a way that Joshua suspected that he had stumbled from the shock of the pain and in the process had fallen, causing his ankle to snap - forced down straight by the peg and pulled into a different direction by the fall.

Seeing Seungcheol look back at him, silent panic in his eyes, had Joshua moving and kneeling beside them. As he came closer he saw that already much of the ground surrounding Jihoon was soaked red, a shiny puddle of life in the moonlight. Jihoon himself was laying on his side, fallen awkwardly, and he was paler than they had ever seen him. Sweat was pouring down his face and Joshua could hear his shallow, gasping breaths. Joshua reached out a hand and Jihoon gripped it like his life depended on it, likely trying to transfer some of the pain via self-inflicted pressure.

“What’s going on?”, Seungkwan called from the tent he shared with Minghao and Jun. 

“Jihoon-hyung?”, Mingyu called, sleepily. He had been sharing with the tiny producer, apparently for the benefit of space. Even while looking half-asleep he managed to look concerned.

Jeonghan had managed to crawl his way out of their tent and ran over, nearly tripping over a guyline.

“Stop”, Joshua yelled, “nobody move until we have more light.”

He couldn't let anybody else get hurt.

Maybe they were startled by their gentle hyung yelling orders or maybe they decided that it was too deep in the night to question it, but then Hoshi came out of his tent, wearing a headlamp, followed by Dino and Wonwoo. Seungkwan, Jun and Minghao used the flashlight and their phones to light up the area. DK and Vernon, sharing the last tent, were both awoken by the voices and showed up with their headlamps as well.

Multiple gasps rang through the silence, seeing their smallest member injured and bleeding on the ground. It was a grotesque sight and Joshua couldn’t fault Wonwoo who gagged as he took everything in. It was terrifying to see a member so horribly hurt, so visibly hurt. They had all had their fair shares of illnesses and injuries - a tribute to their dancing and idol lifestyle - but like this? Never. It didn’t help that Jihoon, who never really wanted to be coddled or hugged by them, was now clutching Joshua’s hand in a death grip and looked so frail, so child-like on the ground. He seemed even younger now than the small, angry boy they had met pre-debut.

With Seungcheol panicked and Jeonghan frozen, Joshua decided to take action. 

“Jun, Jeonghan, take Wonwoo, DK and Hansol to the side. They don’t need to see. Dino, go find towels, all of them. Seungkwan, try calling the managers and, if you can’t, call the emergency line. We definitely need an evac for Jihoon-ah. Minghao, Mingyu, we need the first-aid-kit. It should be in our tent. Hoshi, come here”, he ordered. 

After a short pause he added: “If any of you don’t think you can do this or if you at one point realize you can’t, there is no shame in it. Just say it.” He hoped it never came to that but this wasn’t just a cold or a sprain - this was very serious and Joshua knew it wasn’t his right to force anybody to help if they couldn’t handle it.

But there was determination burning in every gaze, all of the ones he had given a task ready to help. The ones he had suspected that they couldn’t handle it - like Wonwoo with his hemophobia -  looked relieved but guilty at the same time. That was Jun’s and Jeonghan’s problem to fix. Joshua and Seungcheol had a bleeding dongsaeng on their hands. Quickly everybody scattered to help or get out of the way.

Sonnyoung fell to his knees by Jihoon’s head, stroking his sweaty hair back. “Oh, baby”, he whispered, “does it hurt?”

It was a stupid question, really. Jihoon looked like he was barely holding onto consciousness. But then he gasped out: “No, you idiot, it’s just a slight … yes, it fucking hurts. God, it hurts so bad.” It was a relief for all who heard him to know that even now he was up to his joking snappishness.

“I know, I know”, Joshua said, squeezing Jihoon’s hand in comfort, “we’re already calling for help. Try to stay with us, okay?”

Jihoon nodded weakly, then moved to look at his foot. Immediately, Soonyoung placed his hand over the younger man’s eyes. “You don’t need to see”, he said. It was probably better that way, if Jihoon freaked out the situation would get even worse. Gently, Soonyoung lifted Jihoon’s upper body into his lap, soothing the pained cries. It hurt, it hurt so much, to see strong-willed Jihoon reduced to these animalistic groans. But Joshua forced himself into caretaker-mode.

“Cheollie?”, Joshua asked, placing a hand on the frozen leader’s shoulder, “can you do this? If not, go.”

Seungcheol, apparently shaken from his stupor, shook his head. He was pale and still looked so frightened but he would always do what was needed for his kids. ”I’m good. Sorry.”

Joshua decided to leave it at that and focused on Chan who ran over with his arms full of various towels. “Here you go you, hyung”, he said, eyes nervously moving to look at Jihoon, who was crying silent tears in Soonyoung’s arms, too exhausted and in too much pain to have enough strength to sob.

“Thank you, Dino-yah”, Joshua said, “you did well. Go find Jun and Jeonghan now, please. No more running, we don’t need more injuries.” Eyes wide with fright, the maknae nodded and made his slow, careful way to where the others were huddled in a pile.

“Jihoon-ah?”, Joshua said, already dreading what he was about to do. “I need to wrap the towels around your foot and put pressure on the wound, okay? It’s going to hurt, I know, but you got Soonyoung-ah with you, alright?”

“Can’t … can’t you take it out, hyung?”, Jihoon gasped. His eyes were open wide, pupils blown with fear and shock - a frightening sight on his youthful face. 

“No, baby, I’m sorry. You might bleed too much. I think there are some major veins and arteries in the foot and the peg is keeping the blood in. I’ll be careful, I promise.”

Jihoon nodded, burying his face in Soonyoung’s stomach. Soonyoung, who was crying silently in support, just held him tighter.

Then Joshua did what he had avoided until now. One look at the injury had his stomach turn. The tent peg seemed to have been broken and the tip was sharp enough to have ripped Jihoon’s skin and muscles open and fractured the bones in his foot. There was blood everywhere, running about at an alarming speed. But since Jihoon’s foot had slipped down to the ground there was no space to wrap a towel below it, like Joshua had intended.

“Cheollie, can you, uh, can you move away the earth under his foot so we can place some towel below it? I’ll keep his foot steady”, Joshua whispered, ignoring the part of his mind that was scared that this would end up with Jihoon getting hurt too much to recover.

Seungcheol, to his credit, just nodded and sunk his fingers into the dirt the moment Joshua held onto the toes of Jihoon’s foot and his calf. There was no way he could touch the injured ankle without causing even more pain to Jihoon. His left hand was quickly slick with blood.

“How did this happen, baby?”, Joshua asked, hoping it would distract the young man a bit. Besides, he was morbidly curious and the emergency services would want to know when they arrived. “Why were you even up?”

“I needed to piss”, Jihoon mumbled, voice barely audible between his quietness and hiding, “and I didn’t think to put on shoes or bring a torchlight. I know it’s stupid. I told you, I hate camping.”

“I know you do”, Joshua agreed and mumbled under his breath: “Me too.”

“Shua? Think you can get a towel between there?”, Seungcheol asked. He had been much faster than anticipated but then again, the earth was not as dry as it should have been and Joshua really didn’t want to think about the reason.

“Yeah”, he said after a second of evaluation. He grabbed the first towel from the stack but before he could start, Mingyu, Minghao and Seungkwan appeared beside them.  

“Minghao, hand me the disinfectant. Mingyu, I need you to hold Jihoon’s leg so he doesn’t try to move. Seungkwan?”, Joshua said without greeting or sparing them a glance. He couldn’t get distracted and accidentally hurt Jihoon more. 

As Mingyu sat to hold Jihoon down and Minghao started rummaging in the huge bag, Seungkwan said: “Manager-hyung is calling for forest evac. They will likely send a helicopter.”

“Good”, Joshua said and then, “thanks. Minghao, can you pour the disinfectant on Jihoon-ah’s foot on the count of three? Mingyu and I will hold him. Cheollie, go wash your hands somehow.”

Seungcheol stood up, staring at his bloody and dirtied hands in horror, stumbling a bit. Then he fled the scene rather hurriedly. Vaguely Joshua was aware of the sound of retching from his direction but he ignored it in favor of focusing on Jihoon. The producer needed the most care right now.

“Minghao is gonna disinfect your foot now, Jihoon-ah”, Joshua explained, “try not to move, it will hurt, but please try not to move, baby. It will just hurt more.” Jihoon nodded, whimpering and fisting his fingers in Soonyoung’s sweater. 

“One, two, three.”

Jihoon’s foot twitched a bit but Mingyu and Joshua were able to keep him from injuring himself further. Instead, the producer went slack, muscles relaxing. 

“He passed out”, Soonyoung said, probably having felt it first. He had tears running down his face but kept rubbing Jihoon’s back. It was a relief, if Joshua was honest with himself. He didn’t know how long they could have sat by while he suffered from the incredible pain.

“Yeah, I’m not surprised”, Minghao said quietly, “that stuff is awful. Shua-hyung, do you need my help? Otherwise, I’d look for a blanket, I think he is slipping into shock.”

“That is a good idea, Hao”, Joshua agreed, not even having thought about that particular danger, “Mingyu, can you take over my position of holding his foot?”

Careful, Joshua wrapped towel upon towel around Jihoon’s foot, using more force to tie them than he would have otherwise thought necessary. But Jihoon was losing an awful amount of blood and the pressure would help. Stabilizing the peg was another priority, it likely wouldn’t get taken out until surgery, so it needed to hold still where it was. With the last towels he wrapped the swollen ankle, hoping it wasn’t broken or fractured. No matter what, Jihoon would suffer from this for a long time

“What do we do now?”. Seungkwan broke the silence they all fell into after Joshua had tied the last knot, for the first time really realizing what had happened and what they had done.

“We wait”, Hoshi answered, grimly. Over the horizon the sun started to rise.

As they sat together, lost in thoughts, Seungcheol having returned not long after, Joshua noticed something happening over with the other members but he trusted Jeonghan and Jun to take care of it. He didn’t want to leave Jihoon’s side. Occasionally one of them would squeeze Jihoon’s hand or feel his pulse or adjust the blanket. Little things to keep them occupied. 

While Minghao, Mingyu and Seungkwan had all started to sniffle soon after they were done, holding onto each other and Soonyoung in comfort, Joshua felt strangely numb. The soft feeling of Seungcheol’s rough palm in his way was the only thing he really registered other than the steady heart-beat he felt in Jihoon’s wrist.

Finally, the sound of helicopter blades whirring through the air rang over the forest and soon after it appeared in the sky. Their tent area, while in a clearing, had no real space for the helicopter to land. Seungkwan, Mingyu and Minghao went to wave at it, drawing the attention of the people on board and it landed somewhere close by.

A few minutes later paramedics appeared, carrying a stretcher between them, and rushed to meet them. As they inspected the injuries, they congratulated Joshua on doing everything right.

He felt no pride, no happiness, only overwhelming relief. 

“Let me come with you”, he begged and they nodded. As they carried Jihoon off, having managed to get the peg out of the dirt without worsening the bleeding, the managers’ cars drove up. Grasping Jihoon’s hand in his, Joshua followed the medics to the helicopter, leaving the members in the managers’ care.

As they rose into the air, Jihoon blinked open his eyes weakly, squeezing Joshuas’s hand.

“Hyungie?”, he whispered, “promise I never have to go camping again?”

Joshua laughed, feeling free of the burden of responsibility at last. “I promise.”

Day 5: "It's not as bad as it looks."

Masterlist links: Fairy's Masterlist 2024 Fairy's Masterlist 2025 Fairy's June of Doom 2024  

[fairyniceyeah]

💎 All 13 parts of my heart (Part 5/5)

Title from 1 to 13 (SEVENTEEN)

All 13 parts of my heart I All 13 parts of my heart II All 13 parts of my heart III All 13 parts of my heart IV

Summary: “What if we aren’t strong enough to weather this storm?”

CW: fighting

Whumpee: Woozi/Jihoon (OT13)

Woozi, who never cried in front of them. Not if he could help it.

Now, small, desperate sounds escaped him as he curled into himself, sobs shaking his trembling body as he hid his face in his hands. His whole body was wrecked by his distress and he was trembling, gasping for air. 

At once the group froze, voices falling like the tide, until they could only hear his cries. The members were staring at him, mostly in disbelief, others in worry. It was so unexpected that nobody knew how to react. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry”, Woozi whimpered, taking another step back until he was pressed against a wall, as if trying to hide from them. He looked so desperate, so young, so scared. 

How had Seungcheol not noticed how hard the fighting was hitting him?

Seeing his oldest friend like that was heartbreaking. It wasn’t like Jihoon at all to break down over fighting. He always had been their mentally strongest and now he was reduced to pained tears.

Something stirred in Seungcheol that made him able to finally find his own voice.

“This fighting stops now”, he pointedly said to the group, his voice leaving no room for argument. He turned his back to them, showing them how disappointed and angry with them he was. He hoped they were smart enough to start working out their arguments.

As he addressed the sobbing member, Seungcheol took great care to speak gently, as if approaching a frightened animal. “Oh, Jihoonie, come on, let’s go outside for a bit and breathe. You’re gonna be okay.” 

He wrapped his arm around the producer’s shoulders and pulled him close, leading him towards the door. As it fell shut behind them, the room was still silent. 

💎

“Shh, come on”, Seungcheol whispered, rushing them towards an empty hallway he had spotted earlier. Jihoon stumbled behind him, shaking all over and a bit unsteady on his feet. The sooner he got to comfort him the better. The halls seemed endless as they walked, warping into longer tunnels as they moved.

Finally, Seungcheol spotted a secluded bench and sat down, pulling Jihoon to sit down next to him and wrapped him into his arms. The producer fell forward into Seungcheol’s hug, burying his face in Seungcheol’s chest and kept shaking. He seemed desperate, as if he would just shake apart if his hyung didn’t hold him together. “Oh, Jihoonie”, Seungcheol mumbled helplessly, kissing the top of unruly black hair. “I’ve got you. I’m here with you and I won’t leave you. I’ve got you, you’re safe, you’re okay.”

“They aren’t okay”, Jihoon whimpered, his hand grabbing onto Seungcheol’s hoodie as if he needed something to anchor him. As if he feared that Seungcheol would leave him. Leave him too, in an endless fight that spiraled out of control and couldn’t be stopped.

“They aren’t but they will be”, Seungcheol replied, hoping that he was speaking the truth. He wasn’t sure if things could be mended either. So he took to gently rocking them both from side to side, the motion comforting them both. His mind was reeling from the fact that he was holding a crying Jihoon in his arms. How could they have not seen how he was suffering under the fighting? Sure, Jihoon had never reacted to fights like this before, normally he would either tell them to get themselves together or snap at the members too if he was stressed. But there was no other reason for him to be this frightened right now. Seungcheol just wished he had seen earlier how it affected him. Running away to the studio when the group had issues should have been a neon sign that something was wrong.

“How do you know?” Jihoon’s voice was so quiet, so lost it was nearly swallowed by the fabric he pressed his face into. For a moment Seungcheol remembered that he was wearing expensive, borrowed clothes and Jihoon’s makeup would destroy them but he truly couldn’t care less at the moment. “They have been at it for days. I just … I … I can’t take it anymore. I am so tired, hyung. I am so scared. What if … what if we are already broken beyond repair and we just don’t know it yet?”

“You’ve really been hurting under all of the fighting, hm?”, Seungcheol asked, rubbing Jihoon’s back. He didn’t know what else to say. He really needed to get to the bottom of this. 

But his words seemed to have triggered something in his dongsaeng, triggered something negative. Instead of receiving an answer, Jihoon pulled away at the words, leaning against the wall beside him and pulled his knees up to his chest, as if to protect himself. “I …”, he started, then shook his head. “You should go back and check on them. They need you. I can manage on my own.”

“You need me too”, Seungcheol replied gently, placing a hand on Jihoon’s knee. There was no way he would leave him now. Jihoon had been pulled into something that wasn’t his fault at all and he was suffering. Seungcheol needed to be with him now. “More than the other members right now. Hoshi and Joshua have it under control, I believe.”

If he knew anything about the members, despite his trust in his judgment having been broken over the past days, they all cared enough for their Woozi to put their fighting behind them for his sake. They would try for his sake at least and maybe it was the push they needed to start talking, forgiving and apologizing. In a twisted way, Jihoon breaking down may have been their saving grace.

While the members hopefully talked, Jihoon needed somebody to listen to him too.

So Seungcheol continued: “I’m sorry, Jihoonie, I should have noticed how much you were suffering.”

“You were focused on other things, hyung”, Jihoon replied with a humorless laugh. He shook his head, not daring to look up at Seungcheol. He seemed so fragile at the moment, disheveled and face streaked with tears and running makeup. Had he always been this … easily hurt? How much had he swallowed down until he couldn’t anymore?

“I was …”, Seungcheol said, trailing off for a moment as he remembered back to all the fighting he had witnessed, “but still, I should have checked in on you. I noticed you were never there and of course Hoshi and I noticed you refused to be part of this. It should have been enough of a warning sign, normally you would try to help.” 

Jihoon just shrugged, wiping his eyes. “I … I’m sorry. I just couldn’t … I … hyung, you really should check on the group. What if it spirals further?”

Somehow, without Seungcheol noticing, he had pulled his defenses slightly up again. But Seungcheol would not ignore a member in need again.

“It won’t”, Seungcheol said firmly, “I promise. If I need to fix anything, I will do it later. I am not going to abandon you here. Let me in. Tell me what’s been on your mind. I am so worried about you right now, baby.”

Those last words seemed to finally tear down Woozi’s already crumbling defenses completely. With a small cry he threw himself into Seungcheol’s arms again, trembling. Seungcheol caught him and held him close, wrapping him into his embrace. For some reason Jihoon felt even smaller in his arms right now than he normally did.

“There is so much pressure, hyung”, Woozi sobbed, “I feel like I am breaking apart. The songs are not coming along as I like, I actually hate some of the new songs. They don’t feel right and I am so embarrassed to have them in the comeback. I don’t want them attached to SEVENTEEN. I know I will hate performing them and what if you and Carats hate them? I want to do my best but the company is always … the executives pressure me so much, I barely have time to breathe and sleep and eat at the moment. I am mostly just praying to get through the day without crying. I felt like I was drowning. Spending time with you and the members at the rehearsals, recordings and practices and other schedules were like a light in the dark. And then the fighting started and I never truly felt comfortable anywhere anymore.” 

That was a lot for one person alone. It was the first thought Seungcheol had. No wonder Jihoon had broken down, if he had been in his place he probably would have started crying the moment the Seungkwan-Vernon-Dino-thing had started. 

But it was Jihoon. Of course he had shoved everything down, had swallowed his hurt until he couldn’t anymore. Seungcheol just wished they had noticed, had noticed how much pressure the company had placed on him this time. The fights had just been the cherry on top. They had effectively taken Jihoon’s safe space away with their stupid disagreements. 

“Oh, Jihoonie”, Seungcheol whispered, not sure what else to say. 

How could they fix this? Of course he would speak to the CEO and demand for Jihoon’s schedule to be lightened, the comeback maybe be pushed back. But they all had truly fucked up. Even Jeonghan, whose plan to stop the fighting had been the right idea, had failed Woozi. Seungcheol, Hoshi and Joshua, who had just let it happen, were as guilty as the other fighting members. They had all been so lost in petty fighting, yes, even Hoshi, Joshua and Seungcheol, that they had truly lost sight of what was the important thing. 

“I’m sorry you had to go through this. I’m sorry we didn’t notice. I’m sorry I didn’t notice.”

“I didn’t want you to”, Jihoon replied with a trembling voice, “I … I thought about reaching out but then the fighting started and I knew he just had to push through. There was too much happening for me to complain about my issues.”

“Jihoonie.” Seungcheol sighed, rubbing his hand over the younger’s trembling back. “I would have listened. Hoshi would have listened. Joshua too. The fighting consumed a lot but it wasn’t more important than you. You had so much happening to you, it’s not fair. There never should have been one issue so big that you felt like you needed to push your own problems down. We are still a team, a family. We would have wanted to help.”

“I know you would have but …”

“You do know that we care for you, don’t you?”, Seungcheol interrupted him. “Any of us would gladly have just told the executives to fuck off if we knew how they were pressuring you.”

“I was scared of that”, Jihoon said, the corners of his mouth lifting into a shy smile at his joke but it was quickly replaced by an uncomfortable expression on his face. “I don’t need you to do this on my behalf.”

“You do. It can’t go on like this”, Seungcheol insisted. “I promise you, we will find a solution and I will stay by your side for everything. I just … I just wish you would have told us earlier how you were suffering. If we truly hadn’t had the capacity to talk to you with all the fighting going on, we would have referred you to another member. Nobody would have left you hanging. We all care too much about you, about each other to let anybody suffer alone.”

Jihoon pulled away from Seungcheol’s embrace, so he could look at him, eyes shy and biting his lips.

“It doesn’t feel that way anymore. They are lashing out and hurting each other”, he whispered, “they are so vicious, so uncaring about the hurt their words can cause.”

Seungcheol sighed and adjusted Jihoon against his shoulder so he could place his chin on top of Jihoon’s head. It was times like these that he was glad he could hold Jihoon so easily in his arms. He knew what Jihoon was - perhaps unintentionally - referring to.

“We all know that you try to distribute the lines as equally as possible. It’s the company that makes you take away Jun’s lines, it’s not you. Jun knows that too.”

Jihoon shook his head, fidgeting. “I … at this point … I tried, I really tried. But I am so tired about fighting with the executives about it. I started giving Junnie less lines from the beginning now, just to reduce the amount of stress on me. I know I am a bad friend and I feel awful about it but … I just can’t do it anymore.”

Seungcheol pressed a kiss against his temple. “I promise you, hyung will fix this for you, okay? You aren’t a bad friend at all, the fact that you tried until you felt like breaking under the pressure shows that. Don’t feel bad about it, Junnie will understand your side. Nobody wants more stress on you.”

“Sometimes I wish I could just stop, you know? I am so tired”, Jihoon mumbled, closing his eyes as if to underline his statement but likely just a sign of how exhausted he was. “I just wanted to curl up on the dorm’s couch with Hannie-hyung or Soonyoung or Seungkwannie and watch a stupid movie. But they were fighting and Soonyoung was so exhausted with mediating. I just feel so lost and alone.”

“We will fix this, baby”, Seungcheol replied. “We are strong.”

“What if we aren’t strong enough to weather this storm?”

Seungcheol sighed, unsure what to reply. He too asked himself the same question. Despite his earlier thoughts and words, doubt gnawed at him. What if the fights had been too bad? What if even Jihoon’s breakdown wasn’t enough reason, enough motivation to soothe the hurts? What if apologies and hugs weren't enough anymore?

Their silence was broken by soft footsteps and Jeonghan rounding the corner. He looked unusually ruffled and his eyes were red, cheeks blotchy. It was clear he had been crying. His hair was in tangles as if he had run his hand through it like he did when nervous.

“Hey”, he said quietly as he approached cautiously. “I, uhm, I hope I am not interrupting. We wanted to know how you were doing. We’re so worried and were hoping to talk?”

Seungcheol looked down at their dongsaeng, not sure if Jihoon was truly ready to face the members again. It was clear that he was scared but he nodded resolutely. Jeonghan approaching calming and talking about we seemed to give him enough hope to try to see them. 

“I … I’m not okay, I think”, he admitted quietly, trusting his favorite comfort hyung with his emotions, knowing Jeonghan would guard them like the treasure they were “but I do want to go and talk. Uhm … uh, how are they … doing?”

Jeonghan smiled brightly. “It will take some time but we talked. A lot. Cried a lot. But we are okay. Come and see.”

Jihoon stumbled to his feet and took Jeonghan’s outstretched hand, Seungcheol following them.

💎

The atmosphere in the room was much lighter than before. Seungcheol was astonished as he took in the members. All of them looked like they had cried, some were still sniffing. But their eyes were soft and their postures welcoming. 

Dino, Seungkwan and Vernon were huddled together as one pile of maknae again, Dino sandwiched between his youngest hyungs. Vernon and Seungkwan were grasping onto each other too. Seungkwan had changed out of his wet shirt and was wearing one of Hoshi’s hoodies.

Minghao and Jun were smiling, Minghao’s head resting on Jun’s shoulder and one of his legs slung over Jun’s. Both were close to the maknae’s and they kept throwing fond looks at Dino. Seokmin looked a bit stiff and scared, as if afraid of the fragile peace, but he held tightly onto Jun’s hand.

Mingyu was curled into one giant ball of human, head resting on Wonwoo’s lap. He looked exhausted; he always got headaches from crying. Wonwoo had his hand in Mingyu’s hair, softly playing with it. He was still quietly crying but he smiled brightly at them when they entered. 

Hoshi, also having changed clothes, and Joshua were sitting on either side of the members, rubbing backs and proving themselves to be silent pillars.

Tissues were strewn all over the room, as were half-empty water bottles. A homage to their emotions.

Jeonghan led Seungcheol and Jihoon to sit with them, completing the circle of members. 

“There is a lot we need to talk about”, Jeonghan started, his voice pained. “We can’t just push this away. We need to give each other space and time to talk and process and forgive. But I know we can get through this. We are strong as a team, as a family.”

Seungcheol nodded, locking gazes with each member briefly before taking a deep breath. “Carats are right. We love each other too much to let this destroy us.”

The members nodded in agreement, smiles painted brightly on their faces. Jun was the first to get up and wrap Jihoon in his arms, the others following one by one until there were only Joshua, Jeonghan and Seungcheol left. They grasped each other's hand and joined the hug. At last, Seungcheol let his tears spill over.

Tears of relief and not tears of hurt.

Notes: Lots of thanks to everybody who helped me create this fic! Thank you to every anon and everybody who send in suggestions when I asked for help! It couldn't have done it without you!

Special thanks go to:

@sickiecloud

@sneezyminniejo

@dudadragneel

@itsoktobeconfused

@haifa8796

who all gave me amazing ideas to work with!

Masterlist links: Fairy's Masterlist 2024 Fairy's Masterlist 2025 Fairy's Masterlist - SEVENTEEN

[fairyniceyeah]

💎🍒Day 23: "You're doing great"

Trembling/Gaslighting/Rules

@juneofdoom

Part One: Day 8: "I’m not okay." - Alternate

Day 22: "What's the bad news?"

Summary: Chan is safe. Seungcheol is falling apart.

CW: emeto, panic, mention of hospitals

Whumpee: Seungcheol Caretaker: Joshua + Jeonghan + Woozi

“Shua? I don’t think I’m okay. I’m … definitely … I’m not okay.”

Seungcheol coughed violently and leaned even more forwards, gagging and retching up the sea water he had accidentally swallowed. His throat was on fire, the salt burning him. Everything hurt. His chest felt so tight. 

Even as he rationally knew he was safe on the boat - that Chan was safe on the boat - Seungcheol was so afraid. It was like it was hitting him all at once.

His maknae had nearly died.

He himself had nearly died.

What if he hadn’t been able to find Chan?

What if he hadn’t been able to find Chan alive?

What if they hadn’t made it back?

What if he would have had to watch Chan drown?

What if Chan would have had to watch him drown?

He couldn’t breathe. Instead more and more water came up, the liquidy sick slowly turning chunky as he began to throw up all his stomach contents. 

All the while Joshua just sat by his side, stroking his back and whispering comforting words Seungcheol’s brain couldn’t decipher. Seungcheol was hazily aware of a conversation happening over his head but he couldn’t follow it. He didn’t even know who was talking.

 

He only knew he was scared.

It took some time until Seungcheol was able to stop vomiting - every time he thought he was done he thought of the sea and the water in his lungs and instantly started heaving again. 

His trembling arms gave up under him and he would have fallen into the huge puddle of sick in front of him hadn’t Joshua and Jihoon caught him. The two pulled them backwards and the leader limply collapsed into Joshua’s lap. His fellow 95liner took Seungcheol’s hands in his while Jihoon fussed with the blanket that had fallen off of Seungcheol.

For a while they just sat there, Joshua hugging him and Jihoon humming a comforting melody under his breath while Seungcheol just trembled. Even on the boat and with his friends so close he was so scared. Shock, maybe.

“Hey there”, Joshua said with a gentle smile, once Seungcheol had contained the shaking to just his hands, “it’s okay. You’re safe and so is Chan-ah. We’re already heading back to land where you and maknae are going to get a one way ticket to the hospital for observation.”

Seungcheol just nodded numbly.

Joshua didn’t seem to care about his lack of verbal reaction, just continued: “Do you feel strong enough to stand? I think we should get away from this.” He gestured to the dirty floor. “He will hate me for saying it but Jihoon-ah is really looking like he is about to add to that.”

The indignant “hey” from Jihoon, who did indeed look a bit nauseous and seasick again, brought a tiny smile to Seungheol’s lips and he nodded. Carefully the two helped Seungcheol to his knees and then to his feet. The rapper’s knees were shaking so badly he wasn’t sure how he was going to take a single step without collapsing. 

“You’re doing great, hyung”, Jihoon encouraged, “we’ll take it slow. Step by step. We got you.”

It wasn’t as awkward as expected to walk depending on his dongsaengs as Seungcheol had supposed. Where Jihoon was short, he was all muscle, so he balanced Joshua's and Seungcheol’s heights out well. They slowly made their way below deck into a sort of living room thing where the rest of the members were.

It was a tight fit with thirteen members and two managers but none of them really felt like having space after this. 

Seokmin, Hoshi and Seungkwan were curled up together on the floor, below a couch. Seungkwan was leaning back against Vernon���s legs, who was on the couch and resting his head on Jeonghan’s shoulder.

Minghao and Jun were standing off to the side, the younger helping the older dancer dry his hair and was fussing over him.

On the other couch Mingyu was still holding onto Wonwoo, who in turn was fretting over Dino. The maknae was wrapped in a lot of blankets, shivering, but his eyes lightened up when he saw Seungcheol. 

“Hyung”, he called, struggling against the mountain of blankets covering him before giving up and just making grabby hands at him. Seungcheol laughed, which turned into a wet cough. The members watched worriedly, with Jihoon patting Seungcheol’s back as he fought for breath.

A manager was mumbling something about hospital trips and lungs and pneumonia, the first one Seungcheol knew was inevitable. He was not a fan of hospitals but if he refused to go, Chan would have a reason to refuse too and Seungchol would not have that. Besides, his chest still didn’t feel good, so it wouldn't hurt to get checked out.

“Are you okay?”, Jeonghan dared ask, ushering Vernon to sit up, so he could go to wrap Seungcheol in his arms. Seungcheol fell into his embrace, fisting his hands into the back of Jeonghan's shirt, just inhaling the comforting scent of his best friend. He truly was safe. 

“I’m okay…mostly”, Seungcheol whispered, then pulled back to study Jeonghan’s face. “Are you?”

The whole team groaned, causing Jeonghan to laugh. “You idiot. You literally jumped into the ocean and nearly drowned and are asking me if I’m okay?”

“Hey, I was worried”, Seungcheol complained, “now, are you?”

“Yes, I am”, Jeonghan confirmed.

“He was puking the whole time you were in the water, so, yes, now he is fine”, Hoshi stage-whispered. 

Jeonghan shot him an annoyed glare. “Traitor.”

“Hyung”, Chan interrupted the bickering and immediately all attention was back on him. The maknae looked so tiny in Wonwoo’s strong frame. He was still holding out his arms and was now pouting. 

Seungcheol patted Jeonghan on the arm, before rushing over to their youngest, forcing himself onto the sofa on the other side of Chan. Which caused the maknae to move to make space, which caused Wonwoo to move aside, which caused Mingyu to move as well and consequently fall off the couch to much of the others' amusement.

“Hey, baby”, Seungcheol mumbled and held Chan tight.

“It’s okay, we’re okay.”

Day 24: "Let's get you cleaned up."

Masterlist links: Fairy's Masterlist 2024 Fairy's Masterlist 2025 Fairy's June of Doom 2024  

[fairyniceyeah]

💎😇Day 21: "Let's play a game"

Stairs/Pressure Points/Trap Door

@juneofdoom

Day 20: "I can handle it."

Summary: Let’s play a game, they said. It’ll be fun, they said. Jeonghan was not having fun.

CW: injuries, emeto, swearing (but like the amount I wouldn’t tag in a The Rose fic)

Whumpee: Jeonghan

Caretaker: Minghao

Let’s play a game, they said. It’ll be fun, they said.

That was all that was running through Jeonghan’s mind as he himself ran through a villa they had rented for a Going Seventeen Episode. 

In teams they were tasked to find pieces of papers with numbers which in turn held codewords which they would have to tell the staff who then had a list of other tasks they had to do before running off to find another number with another codeword in order to…

Yeah, Jeonghan wasn’t a fan. Especially since his team was the worst. Vernon, oblivious as fuck, had ran past the number they had been searching for three times until Jeonghan himself had noticed it. Jihoon wasn’t faring much better. Nobody had thought about the fact that the producer could at times not even see the numbers hanging in high areas or reach them to turn the paper around to find out the codeword. Jeonghan was the best of the three and … well, he was lazy, hated running and was more than a little annoyed that he had not yet found a way to cheat. 

Well, he had tried and then Seungcheol, bastard that he was, had reported him removing numbers to the staff which had turned into a penalty for his group and the rest of the members laughing at them.

At least Jihoon also was not having the time of his life - he was currently pouting in a corner as Hoshi laughed at him and asked him if he needed a box to reach things. Hoshi, who was in a team with sore-loser Seungcheol and tall-as-fuck Mingyu - they were so far ahead of Jeonghan’s team that he could spare the time to make fun of Jihoon. 

So, yeah, what if Jeonghan was annoyed?

It was only a game. 

… a game that he wanted to win.

Jeonghan was torn out of his thoughts by Jihoon calling his name. The tiny producer had managed to shake Hoshi off and was now staring in disdain at a paper that hung unfairly high on the wall by some stairs. It had likely been placed there to be out of eyesight but even for Jeonghan who was half a head taller than Woozi it was very high. 

“I hate this game”, Jeonghan groaned.

“You’re telling me that?”, Jihoon complained, crossing his arms. 

Jeonghan cooed and patted his head, grinning even as Jihoon hit him - hard - in retaliation. 

“Cute.”

“You’re just pissed that you were caught cheating”, Jihoon said.

“I am not”, Jeonghan replied. “Only that Seungcheol betrayed me like this.”

“Hey”, the leader called across the hall, having heard his full name. “Stop pouting. You deserved that!”

“Shut up”, Jihoon and Jeonghan called back.

Together, with similarly crossed arms, they both stared up at the paper taunting them. Carats would have a field day with that view of them.

“What are we gonna do about that?”, Jihoon finally dared ask.

“I suppose, I could try balancing?”, Jeonghan suggested.

“Are you crazy?” Jihoon whirled around to look at him. “You’ll fall.”

“I won’t.”

Maybe it was the frustration over the game or it was recklessness itself that caused the petulance in Jeonghan’s chest. He would get that piece of paper no matter what it took. Without waiting for Jihoon to argue back, Jeonghan stepped closer to the edge of the stairs and forced his weight forwards against the wall. Standing on his tip-toes he reached out to the paper but he soon had to realize that it was futile. He was too far away even on the top of the stairs. Going down a step would bring him closer horizontally but he wouldn’t be tall enough then. 

“Hold me”, he ordered and grasped onto Jihoon’s hand before the younger had a chance to stop him again. 

“Hyung, don’t”, Jihoon said, sounding a bit afraid, but Jeonghan trusted his dongsaeng to hold him. Slowly he inched closer to the paper with his fingers, centimeter by centimeter. 

Then he managed to hold the edge but it wouldn’t come off easily. 

“Hyung”, Jihoon called, his voice now more frantic. “Hyung.”

But Jeonghan would not fail on the last millimeters. He leaned forward and then he held the paper in his hand. 

Yet, he had not considered that the force he used to lean forward would also force Jihoon forward and that only Jihoon would be able to pull his momentum back. Jihoon, while having started to work out a few weeks ago, was still not that strong and could definitely not compensate for Jeonghan’s weight - not on top of the stairs. 

“Hyung”, Jihoon yelled desperately, but it was too late. Jeonghan’s hand slipped from his grip as Jihoon desperately tried to pull him up. 

They both fell backwards. Jihoon? Onto the top of the stairwell. Jeonghan? Down the stairs.

Pain exploded all over his back, along with the back of his head.

Jeonghan screamed.

People were yelling, shouting over each other. Jeonghan furrowed his brow as he struggled to catch his breath. It was like his whole body was consumed by pain. A foggy haze was over everything.

He blinked a few times and then managed to keep his eyes open. 

“Han-ah?”, Seungcheol’s voice asked and then his best friend’s face came into focus. He sounded very frightened. His voice was more shaky than Jeonghan had heard in a long time.

“Cheollie?”, Jeonghan rasped and tried to push himself up to get to him. Immediately hands pressed him down and he winced as pain engulfed his back. This was not nice. Turns out: Falling down the stairs hurt. What a surprise. He’d been too reckless and paid the price. He just hoped that Jihoon…

“Stay down, hyung!”

While the earlier pain had dazed him, now everything became much clearer. He blinked. Seungcheol was kneeling by his side, as were several of his dongsaengs and some managers. Jeonghan definitely saw Vernon, Joshua, Dino, Seokmin and Seungkwan but the one he subconsciously was searching for, was not there.

“Jihoon-ah?”, he questioned, eyes flickering all over the area. Where was Jihoon? Had he fallen too due to Jeonghan’s recklessness?

“He’s okay. Scared and in shock, but physically okay. Soonyoung and Wonwoo are with him”, Seungcheol soothed though his voice was still off. Jeonghan couldn’t blame him for it. He didn’t want to know how he himself would have reacted in a similar situation.

At least Jihoon was fine. 

Good. As Jeonghan breathed out, he realized everybody held their breath in anticipation. Several pairs of eyes were watching him, piercing him. 

Jeonghan supposed he must be quite a frightful sight. Collapsed on the floor after falling down the stairs due to his own stupidity. That had not been his plan at all. Now everybody was worried. He most certainly didn’t want that. So he tried to push himself up again. Pain flared up all over his spine and vertigo hit him so hard he nearly blacked out. There was sudden nausea in his throat and he gagged.

“Hyung, hyung”, Seungkwan called, pressing onto Jeonghan’s chest, “don’t move. The managers already called an ambulance and they said you shouldn’t move. You might have seriously hurt your spine or head.”

Several pairs of hands held Jeonghan down, even as he squirmed. It was too much. Everything hurt. He was so nauseous. People were crowding him. There was no space to breathe. 

Jeonghan was going to throw up. 

He gagged, trying to jerk his head to the side in desperation but someone - Dino? - stopped him.

Jeonghan was going to choke if they didn’t let him turn.

It was all too much. So many people and so many feelings and he was so small and helpless on the ground. He started to sob. More hands came to touch him, brushing his hair away and leaving his skin crawling.

Then the most beautiful sound came: “Stop! Stop touching him! Can’t you see he is overwhelmed? Move away, now!”

The hands retreated and Jeonghan cried in relief. Fat teardrops fell down his face and dripped into his ears, laying on his back as he was. He weakly tried to move his head, gagging again. He didn’t want to be sick but his stomach lurched so badly.

“Hyung?”, the same voice as before said, “can you open your eyes? I promise, nobody is going to touch you. I just want to see your pretty eyes.”

Jeonghan reluctantly opened his eyes, only now realizing he had squeezed them shut. Above him, Minghao was looking down at him - close but far away enough to not overwhelm. Everybody else was gone. It was just the two of them. Jeonghan hoped Minghao was not as terrified as he looked. It shouldn’t be his responsibility to take care of his stupid hyung. But he was helping - much better than anybody else. His gentle calmness calmed Jeonghan down.

“Eissa”, Jeonghan whispered, “I feel so sick. I’m going to throw up. I need to turn. Please. Please, I …”

Minghao had been the most understanding of them all. He hadn’t crowded Jeonghan. He surely would allow his hyung to move, to turn, so he wouldn’t choke on his own sick. Right?

“I’m sorry, hyung. You can’t move. You fell on your back, you might have seriously injured your spine”, Minghao said apologetically, worriedly.

Jeonghan started to panic again. His breath came faster, hurting his back and head. Everything was spinning. He retched, a tiny dribble of vomit coming up and with the force of his back muscles rippling, it spewed out of his mouth and dripped down his lips onto his chin. Jeonghan cried out in pain as the movement hurt his back, trying hard to stay still but also so scared. At least he wasn’t forced to inhale his own throw up. Instantly a hand wiped at his mouth, making sure nothing could run back into his mouth.

All Jeonghan could do was try to stop himself from vomiting again, all the while sobbing so badly it upset his stomach even more. He couldn’t remember feeling so scared for himself ever before. The nausea wouldn’t relent and he was sure he would die then and there, choking on his own vomit. Even as he tried to stay still to keep the pain at bay, his body was trembling with the sobs.

Then something pressed into his hand, the space between his thumb and index finger. It was so much of a surprise - why would anybody do that instead of holding his hand or something? - he stopped crying. Another hand was stroking his hair but this time it felt good. Comforting. 

Through blurry sight he saw Minghao holding onto his hand with both his hands, pressing down. 

“Is this better?”, the dancer asked worriedly. Dazed, Jeonghan hummed in agreement. Yeah, he did feel better. The nausea was dying down and his throat didn’t feel like it would contract any second anymore. He didn’t understand.

Minghao must have seen the confusion on his face as he explained: “I once read that there was a pressure point for nausea between the thumb and index finger. I thought I’d give it a try. It’s helping, yes?”

“Yeah”, Jeonghan agreed. He truly felt much better. The pain was persistent and he was still very scared of what he had done to himself but the overwhelming panic and dangerous nausea were gone. 

“Please keep still, Jeonghan-hyung”, Minghao now said, “the ambulance should be here soon and they’ll take very good care of you. Are you in much pain?”

“My back, mostly”, Jeonghan replied truthfully. He owed Minghao that - he never liked being lied to. “My head, too, a bit. But I can endure it.”

Jeonghan knew he might have really injured himself. It could be a career-ending injury even. But he didn’t care at the moment. His heart was too full of worry for his members who were left to deal with him.

One of Minghao’s hands let go of his, though the young dancer made sure to hold onto the pressure point with the other. The free hand came up to wipe away the tears on Jeonghan’s face and then stroked back long strands of hair that were sticking to his cheeks. 

“I’m glad. Please be more careful, hyung”, Minghao whispered, “it was terrifying. I was taking a break and was watching you and Woozi-hyung. Seeing you fall so suddenly … I … you really scared us today.”

“I’m sorry, Eissa. I didn’t think”, Jeonghan mumbled. He wished he could comfort Minghao with touch but he knew that moving was not the greatest idea in his state. “Are the others okay?”

“So much is clear”, a new voice said, trembling slightly. Then Jihoon came to sit by them, one arm coming up to wrap itself around Minghao. Jeonghan was glad there was somebody was taking care of their shy young member. “That you didn’t think, I mean. Do you know how terrifying it was to feel your hand slip out of my grip and see you fall?”

Jihoon and Jeonghan locked gazes. The producer’s eyes were red and a bit swollen. He had been crying, Jeonghan realized. He hadn’t wanted to make Jihoon cry - Jihoon who of all people barely cried and if he did never wanted to do it in front of the members. Jeonghan wasn’t sure if - outside of award shows and concerts - anybody beside himself, Seungcheol and Hoshi had seen him cry.

“I’m sorry, Jihoon-ah”, Jeonghan apologized quietly. “I never wanted to make you go through that.”

“I know, hyung. Please don’t be so reckless in the future”, Jihoon replied and started to say something else but was drowned out by the hectic of paramedics arriving out of a sudden. Finally.

They carefully transferred Jeonghan onto a stretcher and really, it was scary being encompassed by the neckbrace like he was. Moving was nauseating, too. Minghao, who had moved away from him to let the paramedics work, seemed to understand what Jeonghan was asking as he stretched out his arm towards him.

Seungcheol and Joshua came up to him, a bit reluctant after Jeonghan’s earlier panic, but he shooed them away. All he needed for the hospital trip was for Minghao to keep holding his hand.

“What was it?”, Jeonghan asked two days later, laying on his bed in the dorm. His back was bruised and there was a lovely bump on his head but he was as well as he could be. The members, still scared, tip-toed around him. If he wasn’t so bored, Jeonghan would have loved the pampering. Jihoon, especially, had been a permanent fixture in his room.

“What was what?”, Jihoon asked, looking up from his laptop screen.

“The codeword I nearly broke my back for?”

“Fuck off, hyung.”

Day 22: "What's the bad news?"

Story from Woozi's perspective: Eyes on you, eyes on me

Masterlist links: Fairy's Masterlist 2024 Fairy's Masterlist 2025 Fairy's June of Doom 2024  

[fairyniceyeah]

💎Day 14: "What were you thinking?"

Surrender/Human Shield/Outmatched

@juneofdoom

Day 13: "Wait!"

Summary: As SEVENTEEN are mobbed at the airport Seokmin is helpless to watch his members get hurt.

CW: mentions of panic, mobs, blood, injuries, emeto

Whumpee: Whole group

Caretaker: Whole group

Seokmin felt his skin crawl as they stepped out of the plane into a private area of the Incheon Airport. It was supposed to be a happy return, a celebration of a successful Japan schedule. Nevertheless, he couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling.

“That’s a lot of fans”, Vernon whispered next to him, nervously looking through the glass wall that separated them from the rest of the airport. While it was supposed to be a private area, the airport did benefit more from the see-through wall with fans milling about in hopes of catching glimpses of their favorite idols and basically keeping the airport afloat just with their expenses in food and drinks. The youngest rapper had never been a fan of crowds, easily feeling overwhelmed and claustrophobic. 

Jihoon hummed in agreement, subconsciously sticking closer to Mingyu as he always did in these situations. It was his height, Seokmin supposed, that made him feel vulnerable as he - unlike their tallest - could barely see over the heads of the fans if that. 

As Seokmin turned around to search for the 95 liners to alert them to the distressed members he found them already deep in conversation. Seungcheol looked worried but had a comforting hand on Jeonghan’s arm. Joshua was frowning, gesturing. Seeing they were preoccupied with something, Seokmin decided to stick close to Vernon himself, seeing that Mingyu was with Jihoon.

The leader of the hired bodyguards gave the signal to move and that was when Seokmin realized what had the hyungs so concerned. There was only one bodyguard for two members, if that. All their managers were there, too, of course and they all trusted them but their job was not necessarily crowd control or bodily force. 

“Hold up”, Seungcheol called quietly from the back and they all turned to stop to look at him. “Since the bodyguard and member ratio is reduced today due to illness, I want us to keep close. Everybody, walk together with another member, build rows of two. Watch out for your partner and if anything is amiss, let us know immediately. Jeonghan and Joshua will go in the front. I’ll stay in the back.”

The members did as Seungcheol suggested and the bodyguards seemed to appreciate his intervention, nodding at the leader. Jeonghan and Joshua passed the group to stand at the front. Seokmin offered his own hand to Vernon who - very grateful for it - pressed it tightly. 

Somehow the two of them ended up at the back of the group, just before Seungcheol standing alone. From there they could see the other pairs Joshua and Jeonghan, Hoshi and Seungkwan, Dino and Wonwoo, Mingyu and (likely, they couldn’t see) Woozi, Jun and Minghao. 

“Who will look out for you, hyung?”, Seokmin asked, mustering Seungcheol.

“Don’t worry about me, Min-ah”, the leader said in what sounded like it was supposed to be a reassuring voice. It didn’t help calm Seokmin’s bad feeling at all. 

Deafening screams greeted them as soon as they walked out of the private area. Vernon had been right. It was a lot of fans. Much more than they had expected and were usual. Way too many for the area and especially with so few guards. They were easily outmatched.

“Hyung”, Vernon whispered, pressing himself tighter to Seokmin.

“It’s okay”, Seokmin tried to set his mind at rest. He might have succeeded more if he hadn’t doubted his own words. 

“Don’t worry, you two”, Seungcheol said from behind them, his hand coming to rest on Vernon’s back for a brief second. “Hyung won’t let any harm come to you.”

They made it maybe halfway to the safety of the cars when all hell broke loose. It had been a tense atmosphere and Seokmin had never before been so bothered by the flashes and clicks of phones so close to his face. The bodyguards and their managers did their best to keep the fans away. But the area was just too small.

Every fan just wanting to get a glimpse of their idol, was pushed back into the crowd as the front guards made them part like the red sea. But that pushing turned into more pushing from fans behind. And more pushing from the fans further behind. 

Seokmin wanted to do something, be able to beam them to the cars already, when out of a sudden Vernon’s hand was violently pulled out of his grip. Both of them yelled - Seokmin in shock and Vernon in absolute terror. A fan had grabbed onto him, having found an opening between the barrier and using the opportunity to pull the idol into the maelstrom of panicked crowd. A crowd that suddenly had the opportunity to touch and be close to a SEVENTEEN member.

All Seokmin could do was scream again as Vernon was dragged into the hungry sea and a manager wrapped his arms around the vocalist’s middle to stop him from following. The last thing he saw before the crowd close into itself, more interested in vulnerable rapper than the protected members, was Seungcheol diving behind the terrified maknae-line member.

“Let me go”, Seokmin yelled at the manager, fighting against him with all his strength, scratching and kicking as hard as he could, “let me go to him.” The manager just held him tighter, pressing onwards to the VIP entrance area and away from his brothers.

“Seokmin-ah, Seokmin-ah”, somebody called. Joshua. The manager pushed him into the arms of the third oldest before gripping onto the hands of the other managers building a protective circle around the members and pushing them further into the VIP entrance area. 

“Hyung”, Seokmin cried, clutching at the older, “Hansol-ah and Cheollie-hyung…”

“They will be fine”, Joshua said, his voice trembling and betraying his own fears even as he pulled Seokmin along further. 

It took a few more overwhelming minutes before they were huddled together in the VIP section, separated from the fans. In that time Seokmin hadn’t been able to catch a glimpse of the other members, his face buried in Joshua’s chest but now he stepped back. They had ended up at the far right of the group.

Behind him and Joshua, Jeonghan was yelling at a manager, arguing, and trying to push back into the crowd to their missing members.

On their left Mingyu was holding back a totally distraught Seungkwan, crying for his best friend and their leader. It was clear as day that both of them were terrified but the older rapper held the vocalist tight so he had no chance to run back into the fray.

Jun was whispering to a crying Minghao, trying to calm him down amidst his own fear. 

Hoshi, while crying like there was no tomorrow himself, was guiding a shaking and ashen gray Jihoon through breathing exercises. 

Then his heart stopped. Counting the members in his head, Seokmin realized that even - including Vernon and Seungcheol - he only got to eleven.

Dino was missing. So was Wonwoo

“Hyung”, he called to Jeonghan, “where are Dino-yah and Won…?”

He interrupted himself as two managers parted from their defense line and … Dino and Wonwoo came stumbling through, collapsing on the ground together. Dino had his arms wrapped around his hyung, acting more like the protector than the protegée. Curious, Wonwoo was seriously whipped for their maknae, his biggest protector, and he never lost his cool as long as no blood was involved.

As Seungkwan and Mingyu threw themselves at the new arrivals, crying and checking them over, Seokmin realized the issue. 

Wonwoo’s glasses were missing, likely knocked off in the crowd. He didn’t want to imagine how the rapper must have felt - probably terrified, surrounded by panicked people and unable to see. Chan, now that he understood they were safe, burst into panicked tears as he clutched at Seungkwan’s shirt. He seemed otherwise uninjured - unlike Wonwoo who now pointed Mingyu’s hands that were hovering over him, and unsure if he was allowed to touch, to his ankle. He probably had tripped.

Jeonghan gave up the discussion with the manager and fell to his knees beside the two maknaes sorely missing their third and held onto them tightly. 

“Move to the cars”, a manager ordered. A few members - like Hoshi and Woozi and Joshua - seemed relieved to get out of the sight of the crowd, while others - Jeonghan, Dino and Seungkwan - protested loudly, wanting to wait for the missing members.

“Seokmin, get them up”, Jun called and nodded at the others. Seokmin was confused for a moment why he was burdened with such a task - he was a maknae line member himself and the hyungs did their best to leave them out of stuff like this. But then he understood - he wasn’t crying or shaking or injured. He was just numb, now that the crowd had no hold over him anymore, well enough to help the incapacitated members.

While Jun helped Minghao to his feet and guided out a limping Wonwoo with Mingyu’s help, Seokmin knelt down by the terrified trio. “Hannie-hyung. Kwan-ah. Dino-yah”, he called to them, “we need to go.”

“Not without Cheollie-hyung and Hansol-ah”, Seungkwan yelled, causing Seokmin to flinch. But he pressed on. 

“Seungcheol and Vernon would want us to be safe”, he said, not realizing how awful, how final those words sounded. Seungkwan whimpered but Jeonghan nodded, understanding that Seokmin was at his wits end. 

“Let’s go”, he said and together they walked out, leaving without being thirteen. 

Outside of the airport it was a totally different atmosphere. The air was crisp and fresh, no bodies around them fighting. There was so much space. Seokmin helped usher the others into the cars. They had three vans booked, all eight-seaters so members and staff could comfortably be transported. A few body guards stood around, watching the area.

“Come on, get in”, Seokmin said gently and pushed the three into the van already containing Minghao. “Try to breathe.”

When he checked the other vans, he found the second one empty and only Joshua, Wonwoo and Mingyu in the third. Joshua had Wonwoo’s ankle in his lap, looking at the swollen appendage with worry. Mingyu was wiping away the steady tears dripping from Wonwoo’s lashes, occasionally pressing the tissue to his own eyes. Seokmin smiled tightly at them and then turned around to look for the missing members.

Jun, Hoshi and Woozi stood a little further away, likely trying to find some place to breathe easier and understand they were safe for now. Seokmin was about to approach them, coax them into the cars too, when Jihoon suddenly bent forward, retching into a gutter below him. Despite his own distaste for vomit and his usual need to stay far, far away, today he couldn’t be bothered to care. Instead he approached them, watching as Hoshi gently held Jihoon’s hair at the base of his neck and soothed him. In his backpack, he surprisingly hadn’t lost, Seokmin found a water bottle which he handed over to Jun. The chinese member nodded at him in thanks but shooed him away, likely not wanting to deal with the moment Seokmin’s brain caught up to his usual fear.

“Let’s go”, a loud voice called, “everybody to the cars now.”

As he whirled around, Seokmin saw the most beautiful sight in his life. There was Seungcheol, limping badly and his face bruised and in his arms he carried Hansol, who was clutching his hyung so tightly that even from the distance Seokmin could see that he was conscious, body tense in a way it wouldn’t be if he wasn’t.

Seungcheol ignored the worried calls coming from the cars, just walking on like a man on a mission. 

“I want every member that needs to be in the hospital in the van Wonwoo is already in”, a manager called. “Who needs to go beside him, Seungcheol and Vernon?”

“Jihoon-hyung, I think”, Seokmin said, looking back over his shoulder to where Jihoon was still hyperventilating and obviously nauseous. “I don’t know if he got injured but he’s been panicking and was just sick. Dino-yah maybe too.”

“I don’t need to go”, Dino called, “I didn’t get hurt.”

“Alright, Mingyu, please go to one of the other vans, so we have some space”, the manager said. Seokmin frowned. Between Joshua, Mingyu and Wonwoo, there were four spaces left. Enough for Seungcheol, Vernon, Jihoon and a manager, not including the driver.

“Hyung?”, Seokimn asked, frowning. Maybe he had miscounted? Or did he want Hoshi or Jun to go with Jihoon?

“You’re going too, Min-ah”, the manager replied. Before Seokmin could tell him he was fine - how had he even come to such a conclusion - his vision swam and he felt his knees buckle.

“That’s why”, the manager said as he caught him against his chest and lifted him to his chest, “you’re hurt, even if you haven’t noticed yet. I bet you don’t even feel the bruises on your face or your split lip?”

Bruises? But as the manager said the words, Seokmin did become aware of how much his head was throbbing and he could taste the blood on his teeth now. 

“Oh”, he whispered.

Hours later, all thirteen of them - after much begging on the members side and then much begging on the managers side to convince the hospital staff - were they all gathered in the hospital room Wonwoo, Seungcheol and Vernon shared.

Wonwoo was to be released in the evening, after the swelling in his foot came down and they were able to wrap the ankle in bandages. Mingyu had even remembered to bring his back-up pair of glasses with him. The tallest member was sitting on the bed next to Wonwoo, the older leaning sideways onto him. 

Seungcheol with his face bruised and scratched, as well as having a hairline fracture in his cheekbones and a broken toe was to stay the night for observation. The leader hadn’t protested and they all could tell how much the day had drained him. He kept falling asleep on Jeonghan’s shoulder, Joshua asleep on Jeonghan’s lap in turn.

Vernon, by far, was the worst off. He’d been stepped on, his whole abdomen a littering of bruises, a grotesque painting. Even his face hadn’t been spared scratched by a high-heel. He had a slight concussion and was very, very high on pain meds - on one hand - and anti-anxiety medication -on the other. So far, as soon as the dose was starting to wear off did he slip into panic again, just like when Seungkwan left his side. He’d done that exactly once to use the bathroom and the panic it had caused had not been pretty. So he had stayed sitting up on the bed, Vernon’s head in his lap and running lazy fingers through his hair. Chan was sitting beside them and Jun and Minghao had somehow also curled up on the bed, not having let go of one another since they had arrived.

Woozi was curled up on a chair by the window, a breathing mask still over his face. He had started to hyperventilate on and off - every time somebody came too close to him - so to be safe he was still hooked up to the machine. He hadn’t gotten sick since the airport, unlike Dino - who had after it had finally really hit him what happened - rushed off multiple times to throw up, Jun or Joshua hot on his heels to comfort him.

Hoshi was sitting on a small table in the corner, close to Jihoon but also far away enough to give him the space he had requested, looking exhausted and also half-asleep.

Seokmin himself had been declared fine by the doctors - the feared concussion had not been proven by an MRI. His eye was slightly swollen shut from where he apparently had received an elbow to the face and his lip had been stitched but he was also high on pain meds, so he didn’t care much. 

The TV was on, volume low enough for members to sleep but loud enough for other members to distract themselves with it. Seokmin lazily looked up from his seat at Mingyu’s feet as the news started. 

Maybe they should have realized that it wasn’t the smartest idea. 

“After arriving from an overseas schedule the K-Pop group Seventeen has been mobbed at the Incheon Airport”, the reporter said in a monotone voice. A shaky video was blended in, obviously taken by smartphones. By fans, Seokmin realized with horror. People had filmed while they were so terrified for one another.

His heart stuttered in his chest as he saw the scenes he hadn’t been able to see earlier. The fan must have stood on the second floor and had zoomed in on the video, able to overview the crowd. 

There Seungcheol was, standing protectively over a curled up figure - Vernon - helplessly on the ground. His face was littered with the same injuries that had been treated but even on the video, even knowing he was fine, it looked terrifying. He never wanted to imagine how Seungcheol felt at that moment - literally the only shield, a very human shield between his member and a mob of scared, panicked fans. His mind circled back to the same question over and over again: What were you thinking, hyung?

He knew that Seungcheol would always do his best to protect his members but this visible sign that he’d rather get hurt than let his members come to harm, it shook Seokmin to the core. He’d never seen anything like that before, such a raw promise. You really love us with all your heart, don’t you, hyung?

The vocalist hadn’t even noticed how hard he was shaking nor had he noticed Seungcheol waking up until the husky voice of the leader called: “It’s alright, Seokmin-ah. I’m fine. You’re fine. We’re all fine. It’s in the past.” 

Tears in his eyes and whine in his throat, Seokmin threw himself over to the other bed, careful not to jostle Wonwoo’s foot or hit an injured part of Seungcheol, and fell into his leader’s arms.

“I was so scared, hyung”, he whispered as Seungcheol held him tightly, rocking them side to side with the leader’s shoulder lightly touching Jeonghan’s every time he moved to the left.

“I know, baby”, Seungcheol said, “but we’re safe now. Everything is fine.”

It wasn’t not yet, with so many of them injured and scared. Meetings for safety briefings laid before them and Seokmin felt terrible for wherever would have to face Seungcheol’s wrath for not sending enough guards. But as thirteen together? They were fine.

ATEEZ’s perspective: Day 3: "Please don’t leave me" - Alternate

Day 15: "Get me out of here!"

Masterlist links: Fairy's Masterlist 2024 Fairy's Masterlist 2025 Fairy's June of Doom 2024  

Notes: Wow, this turned out longer than expected. I have never been to Incheon Airport so this is my own creativity.

[fairyniceyeah]

💎🐈‍⬛Day 11: "We're out of time."

Bleeding Out/Collapse/Flatline

@juneofdoom

Part One: Day 4: "Does that hurt?"

Day 10: "Can you hear me?"

Summary: Wonwoo can’t keep a cool head as Woozi bleeds.

CW: blood, emeto, fainting

Whumpee: Wonwoo (+ Seungcheol) Caretaker: Jun + Jeonghan

Wonwoo, to his own embarrassment, had never been good with blood. The members had found out in a very embarrassing way - with Hoshi accidentally hitting DK in the face during a dance practice which had caused a nosebleed. And Wonwoo fainting at the sight of it and gaining a concussion from an unstopped fall.

Now, the sight of Jihoon, his littlest brother, pinned to the ground by a tent peg, blood gushing out in every direction and coating the producer, Seungcheol and Joshua with red - it turned Wonwoo’s stomach. He gagged violently against the hand he had clamped to his mouth just in time, feeling dizzy. 

Joshua was saying something but over the rushing in his ears, Wonwoo couldn’t hear it. 

He was glad for Jun who tugged him away by his shoulder. Helplessly he stumbled after the older member, the brutal sight branded into his mind. He was pushed down to sit on the ground further away from the tent area and he put his head between his raised knees, trying to stay in the moment. 

Jun’s hand disappeared from his shoulder and - to his horror - Wonwoo whimpered. He had never been one of the more emotional members, choosing to stand behind and be a pillar to lean on for those who needed it. It came from being a hyung, surely, but also from his own calm demeanor. He had never wanted to be coddled or taken care of or be a burden to his members. 

But now, in the middle of nothing and Jihoon bleeding out, Wonwoo for the first time in a long time couldn’t keep a cool head. He wanted to but he couldn’t. His need for reassurance, his need for comfort was bigger. 

Why had Jun left him when Wonwoo needed him? They certainly weren’t the closest but they didn’t love each other less due to that. They mostly just coexisted in a happy tango around the other members who relied on them. They were similar in that way.

Where was Jun?

Wonwoo lifted his head, nearly falling to the side as his head swam. 

He spotted the chinese member easily, despite the low light. Jun was kneeling on the ground in front of a shaking Vernon. Jeonghan was standing next to them, having wrapped Seokmin in his arms, shushing his cries. 

Right, both younger members weren’t good with injuries either. Suddenly Wonwoo was attacked by hot and cold flushes of shame. He should be able to keep himself together. The younger members were a priority over him. 

And yet, Wonwoo longed for somebody to hold him close, whisper reassurances. He had never seen a member this pained, this visibly injured, as Jihoon was. Jihoon who always hated to show vulnerability and now was at the mercy of his broken body.

That thought made his stomach churn and before he knew what was going to happen, he had to twist to the side before he was violently sick all over the ground. He coughed and sobbed through waves of unrelenting, overwhelming nausea. His throat burned from the bile and his eyes from the tears.

Hands came to rest on his shoulders and Wonwoo slumped forwards, unable to hold himself up anymore. Vertigo was turning his world while nausea made him unable to stop retching over the pile of vomit on the ground. 

“Shit, Wonwoo”, somebody called, close to his ears and he turned around, throwing himself at the person. He didn’t care that there probably was snot and vomit on his face - the other person would just have to deal. Wonwoo didn’t have the capacities for that.

The person held him tightly and then Wonwoo was dragged away - likely to avoid anybody stepping into the puddle. Once he was settled, the person gently removed themself from Wonwoo’s grip, shushing him as he whimpered when the comforting contact was broken.

“Wonwoo-yah”, Jun said softly, wiping the younger member’s mouth and nose with his sleeve. Wonwoo blinked up at him through the film of tears in his eyes and the smudges on his glasses. “I’m so sorry. I am so so sorry. I never should have left you - Vernon-ah, he - no, there is no excuse.”

“It’s fine”, Wonwoo mumbled, suddenly embarrassed. He felt awful for poor Seokmin and Jeonghan, two of their more easily grossed out members, who had to witness his dinner reappearing. And where was Vernon? Wasn’t Jun with him?

He didn’t realize he spoke out loud until Jun shushed him. “Han-hyung got Seokmin and Vernon, don’t worry. You’re not fine, you need help too.”

“I’m so sorry”, Wonwoo apologized quietly. He never had wanted to make a fuss.

“No more apologies”, Jun said determinedly, “are you ready to go back to the other three? They are worried about you.”

Though still feeling off-kilter, Wonwoo nodded. However, as soon as he was upright, his knees buckled underneath him and he collapsed back to the ground, weak like a fawn just learning to walk. Jun, there when needed as always, was quick to catch him and lower him back down.

Wonwoo was quickly becoming overwhelmed and frustrated by the situation, wanting the attention off himself. Jun seemed to understand and kept quiet while Wonwoo tried to calm himself down. He just held Wonwoo’s hand in his, a soft pressure while he waited. 

Taking deep breaths and banning any images of Jihoon bleeding on the forest floor from his mind, Wonwoo managed to gain his bearings. Jun made him sit down a bit longer than he himself thought necessary but the rapper was soon glad as his knees still trembled when he tried to stand again. 

“It’s alright, we’ll go slow”, Jun soothed and slung his arm around Wonwoo’s shoulder. It was more of a hug than support and Wonwoo was glad for it.

As soon as they reached the small area - Wonwoo now recognised it as the cooking space - where Jeonghan, Seokmin and Vernon and now Dino were waiting, Vernon ran towards them. Wonwoo opened his arms and held him close.

“Sorry for scaring you even more”, the older mumbled. 

“Don’t worry about it, hyung”, Vernon protested shakily through his tears, “you have as much a right to be scared as we do.”

That was the problem, wasn’t it? Wonwoo didn’t like to be afraid. Especially not for his members. He was about to protest, when Jeonghan, Dino and Seokmin joined their cuddle pile. They all fell to the ground together in a tangle of limbs but never letting go of one another. 

“I’m sorry. We forgot about your hemaphobia. That’s unacceptable”, Jeonghan apologized, sounding like he was beating himself up about it.  

“Hyung”, Wonwoo whispered and then, surrounded by his members as scared as he himself was, he started to sob. Vernon forced his way into Wonwoo’s lap, hugging him tightly, while Dino hung onto his back. Jun held him and Dino protectively and Jeonghan had a hand on Wonwoo’s knee, his other arm wrapped around Seokmin. 

“We’re running out of time”, Wonwoo said quietly, “aren’t we? Jihoon’s running out of time.” That was the issue with his phobia - through therapy he knew how much blood a body could stand to lose and Jihoon had been - was - losing way too much. The small glimpse he had seen of the injury was enough to know that Jihoon was closer to death than any of them ever wanted to see.

“I don’t know”, Jeonghan whispered brokenly. “I don’t know. He has to be fine.”

None of them knew what to reply to that. So they sat crying together until a frazzled S.Coups stumbled into the clearing, looking pale.

“Cheollie?”, Jeonghan asked, jumping up to gather him in his arms. 

But the leader stopped him, throwing up his hand as a barrier. His hands were covered in blood and dirt, the mixture dripping to the floor. Instantly Wonwoo felt himself fall backwards.

“Wonwoo-yah”, Jun whispered, soft hands catching him as consciousness left him.

The last thing he heard was Jeonghan frantically calling: “Cheollie? If you’re gonna puke, Wonwoo already … - okay, it’s okay.”

Wonwoo opened his eyes as helicopter blades moved the trees in his vision. He groaned at the pain pulsating in his head. Immediately, he remembered.

“Jihoon?”, he asked, eyes trailing behind the helicopter - hopefully carrying his friend to safety.

Jun, whose lap his head was pillowed on as he found out then, stroked his hair gently.

“Joshua is accompanying him to the hospital. The managers will drive us there as soon as possible. Jihoon-ah will be fine, you’ll see.”

Jihoon, indeed, was fine after a long, long surgery. Months of crutches and physiotherapy awaited him but he was fine. 

Day 12: "I can't stand seeing you like this"

Masterlist links: Fairy's Masterlist 2024 Fairy's Masterlist 2025 Fairy's June of Doom 2024