#kpop whump

[fairyniceyeah]

💎 All 13 parts of my heart (Part 5/5)

Title from 1 to 13 (SEVENTEEN)

All 13 parts of my heart I All 13 parts of my heart II All 13 parts of my heart III All 13 parts of my heart IV

Summary: “What if we aren’t strong enough to weather this storm?”

CW: fighting

Whumpee: Woozi/Jihoon (OT13)

Woozi, who never cried in front of them. Not if he could help it.

Now, small, desperate sounds escaped him as he curled into himself, sobs shaking his trembling body as he hid his face in his hands. His whole body was wrecked by his distress and he was trembling, gasping for air. 

At once the group froze, voices falling like the tide, until they could only hear his cries. The members were staring at him, mostly in disbelief, others in worry. It was so unexpected that nobody knew how to react. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry”, Woozi whimpered, taking another step back until he was pressed against a wall, as if trying to hide from them. He looked so desperate, so young, so scared. 

How had Seungcheol not noticed how hard the fighting was hitting him?

Seeing his oldest friend like that was heartbreaking. It wasn’t like Jihoon at all to break down over fighting. He always had been their mentally strongest and now he was reduced to pained tears.

Something stirred in Seungcheol that made him able to finally find his own voice.

“This fighting stops now”, he pointedly said to the group, his voice leaving no room for argument. He turned his back to them, showing them how disappointed and angry with them he was. He hoped they were smart enough to start working out their arguments.

As he addressed the sobbing member, Seungcheol took great care to speak gently, as if approaching a frightened animal. “Oh, Jihoonie, come on, let’s go outside for a bit and breathe. You’re gonna be okay.” 

He wrapped his arm around the producer’s shoulders and pulled him close, leading him towards the door. As it fell shut behind them, the room was still silent. 

💎

“Shh, come on”, Seungcheol whispered, rushing them towards an empty hallway he had spotted earlier. Jihoon stumbled behind him, shaking all over and a bit unsteady on his feet. The sooner he got to comfort him the better. The halls seemed endless as they walked, warping into longer tunnels as they moved.

Finally, Seungcheol spotted a secluded bench and sat down, pulling Jihoon to sit down next to him and wrapped him into his arms. The producer fell forward into Seungcheol’s hug, burying his face in Seungcheol’s chest and kept shaking. He seemed desperate, as if he would just shake apart if his hyung didn’t hold him together. “Oh, Jihoonie”, Seungcheol mumbled helplessly, kissing the top of unruly black hair. “I’ve got you. I’m here with you and I won’t leave you. I’ve got you, you’re safe, you’re okay.”

“They aren’t okay”, Jihoon whimpered, his hand grabbing onto Seungcheol’s hoodie as if he needed something to anchor him. As if he feared that Seungcheol would leave him. Leave him too, in an endless fight that spiraled out of control and couldn’t be stopped.

“They aren’t but they will be”, Seungcheol replied, hoping that he was speaking the truth. He wasn’t sure if things could be mended either. So he took to gently rocking them both from side to side, the motion comforting them both. His mind was reeling from the fact that he was holding a crying Jihoon in his arms. How could they have not seen how he was suffering under the fighting? Sure, Jihoon had never reacted to fights like this before, normally he would either tell them to get themselves together or snap at the members too if he was stressed. But there was no other reason for him to be this frightened right now. Seungcheol just wished he had seen earlier how it affected him. Running away to the studio when the group had issues should have been a neon sign that something was wrong.

“How do you know?” Jihoon’s voice was so quiet, so lost it was nearly swallowed by the fabric he pressed his face into. For a moment Seungcheol remembered that he was wearing expensive, borrowed clothes and Jihoon’s makeup would destroy them but he truly couldn’t care less at the moment. “They have been at it for days. I just … I … I can’t take it anymore. I am so tired, hyung. I am so scared. What if … what if we are already broken beyond repair and we just don’t know it yet?”

“You’ve really been hurting under all of the fighting, hm?”, Seungcheol asked, rubbing Jihoon’s back. He didn’t know what else to say. He really needed to get to the bottom of this. 

But his words seemed to have triggered something in his dongsaeng, triggered something negative. Instead of receiving an answer, Jihoon pulled away at the words, leaning against the wall beside him and pulled his knees up to his chest, as if to protect himself. “I …”, he started, then shook his head. “You should go back and check on them. They need you. I can manage on my own.”

“You need me too”, Seungcheol replied gently, placing a hand on Jihoon’s knee. There was no way he would leave him now. Jihoon had been pulled into something that wasn’t his fault at all and he was suffering. Seungcheol needed to be with him now. “More than the other members right now. Hoshi and Joshua have it under control, I believe.”

If he knew anything about the members, despite his trust in his judgment having been broken over the past days, they all cared enough for their Woozi to put their fighting behind them for his sake. They would try for his sake at least and maybe it was the push they needed to start talking, forgiving and apologizing. In a twisted way, Jihoon breaking down may have been their saving grace.

While the members hopefully talked, Jihoon needed somebody to listen to him too.

So Seungcheol continued: “I’m sorry, Jihoonie, I should have noticed how much you were suffering.”

“You were focused on other things, hyung”, Jihoon replied with a humorless laugh. He shook his head, not daring to look up at Seungcheol. He seemed so fragile at the moment, disheveled and face streaked with tears and running makeup. Had he always been this … easily hurt? How much had he swallowed down until he couldn’t anymore?

“I was …”, Seungcheol said, trailing off for a moment as he remembered back to all the fighting he had witnessed, “but still, I should have checked in on you. I noticed you were never there and of course Hoshi and I noticed you refused to be part of this. It should have been enough of a warning sign, normally you would try to help.” 

Jihoon just shrugged, wiping his eyes. “I … I’m sorry. I just couldn’t … I … hyung, you really should check on the group. What if it spirals further?”

Somehow, without Seungcheol noticing, he had pulled his defenses slightly up again. But Seungcheol would not ignore a member in need again.

“It won’t”, Seungcheol said firmly, “I promise. If I need to fix anything, I will do it later. I am not going to abandon you here. Let me in. Tell me what’s been on your mind. I am so worried about you right now, baby.”

Those last words seemed to finally tear down Woozi’s already crumbling defenses completely. With a small cry he threw himself into Seungcheol’s arms again, trembling. Seungcheol caught him and held him close, wrapping him into his embrace. For some reason Jihoon felt even smaller in his arms right now than he normally did.

“There is so much pressure, hyung”, Woozi sobbed, “I feel like I am breaking apart. The songs are not coming along as I like, I actually hate some of the new songs. They don’t feel right and I am so embarrassed to have them in the comeback. I don’t want them attached to SEVENTEEN. I know I will hate performing them and what if you and Carats hate them? I want to do my best but the company is always … the executives pressure me so much, I barely have time to breathe and sleep and eat at the moment. I am mostly just praying to get through the day without crying. I felt like I was drowning. Spending time with you and the members at the rehearsals, recordings and practices and other schedules were like a light in the dark. And then the fighting started and I never truly felt comfortable anywhere anymore.” 

That was a lot for one person alone. It was the first thought Seungcheol had. No wonder Jihoon had broken down, if he had been in his place he probably would have started crying the moment the Seungkwan-Vernon-Dino-thing had started. 

But it was Jihoon. Of course he had shoved everything down, had swallowed his hurt until he couldn’t anymore. Seungcheol just wished they had noticed, had noticed how much pressure the company had placed on him this time. The fights had just been the cherry on top. They had effectively taken Jihoon’s safe space away with their stupid disagreements. 

“Oh, Jihoonie”, Seungcheol whispered, not sure what else to say. 

How could they fix this? Of course he would speak to the CEO and demand for Jihoon’s schedule to be lightened, the comeback maybe be pushed back. But they all had truly fucked up. Even Jeonghan, whose plan to stop the fighting had been the right idea, had failed Woozi. Seungcheol, Hoshi and Joshua, who had just let it happen, were as guilty as the other fighting members. They had all been so lost in petty fighting, yes, even Hoshi, Joshua and Seungcheol, that they had truly lost sight of what was the important thing. 

“I’m sorry you had to go through this. I’m sorry we didn’t notice. I’m sorry I didn’t notice.”

“I didn’t want you to”, Jihoon replied with a trembling voice, “I … I thought about reaching out but then the fighting started and I knew he just had to push through. There was too much happening for me to complain about my issues.”

“Jihoonie.” Seungcheol sighed, rubbing his hand over the younger’s trembling back. “I would have listened. Hoshi would have listened. Joshua too. The fighting consumed a lot but it wasn’t more important than you. You had so much happening to you, it’s not fair. There never should have been one issue so big that you felt like you needed to push your own problems down. We are still a team, a family. We would have wanted to help.”

“I know you would have but …”

“You do know that we care for you, don’t you?”, Seungcheol interrupted him. “Any of us would gladly have just told the executives to fuck off if we knew how they were pressuring you.”

“I was scared of that”, Jihoon said, the corners of his mouth lifting into a shy smile at his joke but it was quickly replaced by an uncomfortable expression on his face. “I don’t need you to do this on my behalf.”

“You do. It can’t go on like this”, Seungcheol insisted. “I promise you, we will find a solution and I will stay by your side for everything. I just … I just wish you would have told us earlier how you were suffering. If we truly hadn’t had the capacity to talk to you with all the fighting going on, we would have referred you to another member. Nobody would have left you hanging. We all care too much about you, about each other to let anybody suffer alone.”

Jihoon pulled away from Seungcheol’s embrace, so he could look at him, eyes shy and biting his lips.

“It doesn’t feel that way anymore. They are lashing out and hurting each other”, he whispered, “they are so vicious, so uncaring about the hurt their words can cause.”

Seungcheol sighed and adjusted Jihoon against his shoulder so he could place his chin on top of Jihoon’s head. It was times like these that he was glad he could hold Jihoon so easily in his arms. He knew what Jihoon was - perhaps unintentionally - referring to.

“We all know that you try to distribute the lines as equally as possible. It’s the company that makes you take away Jun’s lines, it’s not you. Jun knows that too.”

Jihoon shook his head, fidgeting. “I … at this point … I tried, I really tried. But I am so tired about fighting with the executives about it. I started giving Junnie less lines from the beginning now, just to reduce the amount of stress on me. I know I am a bad friend and I feel awful about it but … I just can’t do it anymore.”

Seungcheol pressed a kiss against his temple. “I promise you, hyung will fix this for you, okay? You aren’t a bad friend at all, the fact that you tried until you felt like breaking under the pressure shows that. Don’t feel bad about it, Junnie will understand your side. Nobody wants more stress on you.”

“Sometimes I wish I could just stop, you know? I am so tired”, Jihoon mumbled, closing his eyes as if to underline his statement but likely just a sign of how exhausted he was. “I just wanted to curl up on the dorm’s couch with Hannie-hyung or Soonyoung or Seungkwannie and watch a stupid movie. But they were fighting and Soonyoung was so exhausted with mediating. I just feel so lost and alone.”

“We will fix this, baby”, Seungcheol replied. “We are strong.”

“What if we aren’t strong enough to weather this storm?”

Seungcheol sighed, unsure what to reply. He too asked himself the same question. Despite his earlier thoughts and words, doubt gnawed at him. What if the fights had been too bad? What if even Jihoon’s breakdown wasn’t enough reason, enough motivation to soothe the hurts? What if apologies and hugs weren't enough anymore?

Their silence was broken by soft footsteps and Jeonghan rounding the corner. He looked unusually ruffled and his eyes were red, cheeks blotchy. It was clear he had been crying. His hair was in tangles as if he had run his hand through it like he did when nervous.

“Hey”, he said quietly as he approached cautiously. “I, uhm, I hope I am not interrupting. We wanted to know how you were doing. We’re so worried and were hoping to talk?”

Seungcheol looked down at their dongsaeng, not sure if Jihoon was truly ready to face the members again. It was clear that he was scared but he nodded resolutely. Jeonghan approaching calming and talking about we seemed to give him enough hope to try to see them. 

“I … I’m not okay, I think”, he admitted quietly, trusting his favorite comfort hyung with his emotions, knowing Jeonghan would guard them like the treasure they were “but I do want to go and talk. Uhm … uh, how are they … doing?”

Jeonghan smiled brightly. “It will take some time but we talked. A lot. Cried a lot. But we are okay. Come and see.”

Jihoon stumbled to his feet and took Jeonghan’s outstretched hand, Seungcheol following them.

💎

The atmosphere in the room was much lighter than before. Seungcheol was astonished as he took in the members. All of them looked like they had cried, some were still sniffing. But their eyes were soft and their postures welcoming. 

Dino, Seungkwan and Vernon were huddled together as one pile of maknae again, Dino sandwiched between his youngest hyungs. Vernon and Seungkwan were grasping onto each other too. Seungkwan had changed out of his wet shirt and was wearing one of Hoshi’s hoodies.

Minghao and Jun were smiling, Minghao’s head resting on Jun’s shoulder and one of his legs slung over Jun’s. Both were close to the maknae’s and they kept throwing fond looks at Dino. Seokmin looked a bit stiff and scared, as if afraid of the fragile peace, but he held tightly onto Jun’s hand.

Mingyu was curled into one giant ball of human, head resting on Wonwoo’s lap. He looked exhausted; he always got headaches from crying. Wonwoo had his hand in Mingyu’s hair, softly playing with it. He was still quietly crying but he smiled brightly at them when they entered. 

Hoshi, also having changed clothes, and Joshua were sitting on either side of the members, rubbing backs and proving themselves to be silent pillars.

Tissues were strewn all over the room, as were half-empty water bottles. A homage to their emotions.

Jeonghan led Seungcheol and Jihoon to sit with them, completing the circle of members. 

“There is a lot we need to talk about”, Jeonghan started, his voice pained. “We can’t just push this away. We need to give each other space and time to talk and process and forgive. But I know we can get through this. We are strong as a team, as a family.”

Seungcheol nodded, locking gazes with each member briefly before taking a deep breath. “Carats are right. We love each other too much to let this destroy us.”

The members nodded in agreement, smiles painted brightly on their faces. Jun was the first to get up and wrap Jihoon in his arms, the others following one by one until there were only Joshua, Jeonghan and Seungcheol left. They grasped each other's hand and joined the hug. At last, Seungcheol let his tears spill over.

Tears of relief and not tears of hurt.

Notes: Lots of thanks to everybody who helped me create this fic! Thank you to every anon and everybody who send in suggestions when I asked for help! It couldn't have done it without you!

Special thanks go to:

@sickiecloud

@sneezyminniejo

@dudadragneel

@itsoktobeconfused

@haifa8796

who all gave me amazing ideas to work with!

Masterlist links: Fairy's Full Masterlist Fairy's Masterlist - SEVENTEEN

[zz-supernova]

CAR RIDE

SICKIE⇒ HAN

༺ ❀ ༻

stray kids were on the car ride back to their dorms after a long and exhausting day filled with interviews and dance challenges. only three of them, actually, because the others had wanted to go out for dinner, which was unexpected. why would someone want to go out after spending the whole day talking to strangers and dancing.

anyway, that’s how the members ended up being separated into two vans: Chan, Lee know and Han in the one that would take them to the dorm, and the other five off to wherever they went to eat at.

the truth is, none of the three understood how anyone could have any energy left after the day they had just put their bodies through, because they surely wanted nothing but to get back home, change into comfortable clothes and chill, sleep probably.

in the van, han was sitting at the back next to lee know, who was on his phone, and chan was in the empty middle row, writing lyrics on his laptop.

normally all the seats would be occupied and the eight boys would be chatting and laughing, but right now the leader was glad that they could have some peace and quiet, as well as the much needed space and coolness of the AC after being stuck in rooms talking to a camera for hours.

the motion of the car was relaxing for both chan and lee know, who really were paying no mind to anything around them right now, just immersed in their laptop and phone respectively. for han it was usually more of the same, he was used to falling asleep just a few minutes after the ride would start.

but something about today was different, he couldn’t sleep and he felt himself getting unsettled as the van rolled on, so he rested his head on the cold window. he sighed, he wasn’t one to get carsick, and his body was used to being pushed to the limits, but something about today had pushed him slightly too far.

the rapper shifted his position a little, trying to ease his discomfort, and closed his eyes, but the movement only made the uncomfy feeling rise so he opened them again. he remembered being cold back in the filming room, but now his body felt strangely hot and he wished he hadn’t kept his hoodie on, though he knew that focusing on taking it off would only heighten his nausea. maybe he was just tired. he just needed to sleep, that’s what he told himself.

he was wrong.

his head was starting to spin, making him feel lightheaded, and he once again tried to make the sensation go away by closing his eyes and hopefully giving in to sleep. but he was unlucky. this time it was no different, and he finally gave up on sleeping and turned his focus to the landscapes passing by the window.

it was late and he liked how the evening sky looked, pretty tones of blue and purple blending together and fluffy clouds that gave off dreamy vibes. he should write a song about it, han thought.

too bad that he couldn’t focus on it for long. soon enough, they entered the curvy part of the road and han felt his stomach turn at the movement. to him it was so stupid, the driver was driving smoothly through the turns but they still made his nausea present again. the twisty part soon came to an end, but the effects it had on the rapper didn’t.

now, his stomach was twisting sickly enough that he couldn’t ignore it anymore. as he swallowed, trying to keep the sick feeling at bay, he moved his hands to loosen the seatbelt. it wasn’t tight at all but felt really suffocating.

he quickly realized that there was probably no coming out of this, and he couldn’t help that his breathing had started to sound shaky as he got frustrated with the nausea and the way he didn’t seem to be getting enough air.

“hyung”, han called out in a faint voice, breathing heavily and closing his eyes when his stomach cramped uncomfortably again. he heard lee know’s voice come from right beside him. the dancer had surely caught on to the way han’s voice sounded distressed because his tone was worried when he asked “what’s wrong?”.

stupid question, though. the moment lee know turned to look at han he was met with a clear answer. the younger’s face was pale and his eyes were glossy, expression uneasy as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. he was trying to steady his breathing to keep calm and settle his stomach but that was very obviously not working.

“i feel sick,” the rapper said in a quiet tone, closing his eyes and hugging his stomach as the van turned unexpectedly. at this point even the smooth road was making him feel sick. he could feel lee know’s gaze on him, the dancer’s expression more alert in contrast to how absentminded he had been until now. “do you need to throw up?”, the older asked, speaking in a calm way that was very welcome by the rapper.

han nodded, taking deep breaths to try and manage the feeling. lee know turned forward for a moment and said sth to chan, who nodded and most likely told the driver about the situation, and then he turned back to han. “we’ll pull over in a moment, sungie, do you wanna roll down the window?”

“yeah,” han whispered back, silently cursing how dumb he was for not having done that earlier. feeling his stomach turn once again, he wanted nothing more than to take in a deep breath of fresh air, so he quickly pressed the button on the door and soon enough he felt the cool wind blowing softly over his face. it was comforting, but even then the van felt stuffy and he just wanted to get out, have steady ground under his feet and not feel sick anymore.

he whined softly when his stomach did that little twist again and he squeezed his eyes shut. he felt the nausea growing stronger and stronger, and he knew he needed to get out of the van, or he would end up getting sick right then and there. that would be so embarrassing.

at this point, even the simple thought that he still had to be in the van until they could pull over was causing his nausea to worsen, and han felt his eyes welling up with tears of frustration. “can we stop?” he whimpered. he felt his stomach cramp more severely this time and his vision swam from the discomfort. that kinda scared him, he didn’t want to faint.

his arms were crossed over his middle as he wished it all would just go away, but the nausea was making him dizzy. “one second,” chan told him, his voice warm and comforting, “we’re going to stop at the next rest stop and you can get out and take all the time you need. okay?”

han nodded and let out a deep and shaky breath, trying to settle his stomach. it didn’t work, of course. his eyes were still watery and his head felt heavy from sickness. he gripped the seatbelt again, biting his lip and trying to stop himself from throwing up. he felt really overwhelmed right now.

“do you want my hand? it’s cold” lee know offered, giving han a knowing look. he knew that the rapper was feeling way too warm and probably also scared, given that he never got carsick. his thoughts were confirmed when han nodded and glanced at him with desperate eyes, holding onto lee know’s hand as soon as the dancer held it out. lee know’s hand was pleasantly cold and han found the touch grounding even if it didn’t help the nausea. because it certainly didn’t.

his stomach twisted once more, and he shut his eyes closed yet again. he did his best to take deep breaths, trying to suppress a groan as another wave of nausea rolled over him. he gripped lee know’s hand even tighter and leaned into it, trying really hard to concentrate on the cold touch instead of the stuffy air.

“pulling over” chan called out from the front, turning around to glance at the back and frowning when he saw the situation. the speed of the van steadily deacreased and the sound of the motor fading away brought the world around han even more into focus as they finally slowed to a stop.

at least the movement was over, he thought.

he took another shaky breath and mumbled a soft “okay”, letting his head fall back against the seat and trying to steady himself before he’d get out. lee know let go of han’s hand and unbuckled both of their seatbelts before holding it again. he was going to wait until han was ready to get out.

chan was the one who got out first and he walked over to han’s seat, sliding the van’s door fully open and catching the momentary relieved expression on the younger’s face when the fresh air blew over him.

“lets get out, hannie”, the leader said. han nodded slowly, clinging to lee know’s hand for a moment longer and taking a deep, shaky breath before finally letting go and turning towards the door, sucking in a sharp breath when he felt his mouth filling with saliva.

he got out of the car, doing his best not to stumble too much as chan held onto his waist to steady him. his vision swam and his legs faltered slightly as his stomach tightened and turned, a sign that he was close to giving into the nausea.

luckily chan kept him up until he pulled himself together enough to start walking. “gonna throw up,” han mumbled to him, his voice shaky and thick with nausea. his stomach was cramping uncomfortably and he felt too hot. “that’s okay, I’m right here,” chan reassured, guiding han over to the grass next to the road.

the view was pretty and it looked like a comfy place for a picnic or a campfire, but sadly han could not focus on that. there were some big trees and many cute small flowers randomly growing between the grass, and a few steps further there was a fallen tree trunk that had been obviously used as a bench.

and no people, which they did notice and han was especially grateful for. chan helped the rapper sit down on the trunk so that he would be stable enough to throw up if he needed to and crouched down next to him. han’s hands were shaking as he leaned forward slightly, letting out a pained whine. “hyung”, he whimpered, looking at the leader, who saw his eyes filled with fear.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” chan comforted gently, sitting down beside him and laying his hand comfortingly on han’s back as he waited for what was bound to happen. the rapper felt the way his nausea kept rising and he was growing increasingly desperate, but his body didn’t seem to want to give into it. his stomach was doing somersaults, tightening repeatedly as his eyes filled with tears again.

“hyung help”, han pleaded urgently, seeing as his body wasn’t cooperating at all despite the way it was hurting him. “okay, hang on”, chan said calmly, rubbing his hand over han’s back in a comforting motion.

han bit his lip, trying to hold back his tears and taking in another deep breath. he felt the waves of nausea growing more intense, but his body resisted throwing up even as he felt the burning sensation of bile begin to rise to his throat.

chan brushed his hair back softly and moved his other hand to the rapper’s stomach. “i’m going to help you, ok?”, he said, wanting to make sure the younger was okay with that. han nodded, frustrated that things were going the way they were.

his breaths were getting shallower and quicker as he wiped away his tears with his hand. "careful" he replied in a voice that indicated he was about to cry. another wave of nausea began to rise, this time more intensely. his stomach cramped once more and he let out a shaky whimper.

“I'm here," chan assured softly, keeping his hand over han’s stomach. "Just let it happen, alright?", he added, making sure the younger wouldn’t try to fight back the stronger nausea that was about to come, and pressed on han’s middle carefully with his hand, hoping that the extra pressure would help speed things up.

han took in another shaky breath, trying to relax his body as he started to feel vomit rising in his throat. it burned and he couldn’t stop himself from tearing up. his stomach was still cramping from the sickness, and his body finally stopped resisting.

his eyes closed and he let out a soft, startled whimper as he felt the bile finally come up from his stomach. he gagged dryly for a few seconds, but soon started actually throwing up. a shiver went down his body and he struggled to get in deep breaths between his tears each time a sick wave was over. it didn’t feel good, not at all. he hated this feeling so much.

“there you go”, chan said softly, his voice soft and caring as han finally finished throwing up. the rapper’s stomach was no longer twisting nor turning quite as intensely but it still hurt and was uncomfortable.

sure, he was glad that at least the nausea had mostly faded but it wasn’t fair that he still felt sick. it was frustrating and he couldn’t stop his tears from falling. han took in a few deep breaths, his body slowly coming back to normal after that sudden burst of nausea.

“thanks,” han sniffled softly, trying to relax his body and take a few deeper breaths in. his stomach was still cramping. it was nothing in comparison to what he had felt a few moments ago, but for some reason han kept crying and he felt stupid for it.

“it’s okay, you did really well, hm?”, chan hummed as he brushed away han’s tears with his hand. he felt bad for the rapper, who was clearly overwhelmed by everything that had happened. han nodded sadly, leaning into his touch, that was pretty much the only thing he found okay right now.

chan looked up towards the car, and said “there comes lee know”, when he spotted the dancer walking towards them with water. he knew the second oldest had stayed back in the car to give han more space, and now that the ordeal was over, he came to comfort him.

han followed chan’s gaze, watching lee know come towards them with water, and he felt glad that his teammates were taking care of him even if they probably just wanted to get home. this must have been such an inconvenience for them, han thought.

“here you go”, lee know said when he got to them, his voice soft and caring, which washed away any negative thoughts han had about being a nuisance. the dancer sat on the han’s other side, and the rapper took the bottle from him, holding it to his mouth hesitantly.

“thank you,” han muttered quietly, taking a few more sips of water to get rid of the weird taste in his mouth. he felt noticeably better now, the nausea having subsided.

but then han remembered that they had to get on the car again and his face suddenly became anxious, his stomach twisting once more as the realization set in. they had to go back to the car, and that meant possibly having to go through being sick again.

“hey, hannie” lee know called out softly, seeing him start to breathe unevenly. he leaned forward to look at han’s face and spoke in a reassuring tone. “it’ll be over soon, okay? I’ll be right beside you the whole time, so there’s nothing to worry about, all right?”

han’s heart was beating a little too quickly in his chest, and he started fidgeting with the cap of the bottle, trying to stay calm.

“o-okay” he replied, his voice shaky and unsure. the last thing he wanted was to feel sick again, but he knew they had to get home. he was still tired from the day, just like his hyungs probably were.

so he took in a few deep breaths to calm down, thinking about how he would have both of the oldest members with him for the rest of the ride. maybe he could even fall asleep this time and wouldn’t notice the rest of the ride. yeah, that’s what was going to happen, unless it wasn’t.

he closed his eyes, trying to stay as calm as possible so that his stomach wouldn’t become too upset again. his body was still tense even without the nausea, and he didn’t want to make it worse.

he opened his eyes and gripped his bottle tight, feeling a bit nauseous again. he had to control this, he thought to himself, it wasn’t even that bad, except to him it was. the feeling had been awful and he was glad that he didn’t experience it often, but he dreaded the possibility of having to endure it again. “I don’t wanna”, he admitted softly, his voice even shakier than before.

chan and lee know looked at him, their expressions caring. they knew how hard this was for him, they knew how overwhelmed he felt, and they could tell by his eyes that he was afraid, but that’s why they would let him take his time. no rush. they didn’t mind waiting until their rapper was better and calm.

“I know. but we’ll be with you, yeah?” chan sympathized, his expression concerned as he saw how afraid the rapper was. he knew that han got like this when he was sick, and it was hard to make him feel better. but they were doing their best to help him stay calm. kinda calm.

“yeah” han replied softly, still seeming afraid, but less so. he allowed himself to relax just a little bit, and he took a few deep breaths. he felt the lingering pain in his stomach and the tightness that was still there, but it was nowhere near as bad as it had been earlier.

he watched as chan grabbed the bottle and stood up, and he let the leader help him up and away from the soiled grass. han staggered a bit as he stood up, still feeling weak and exhausted. he was starting to breathe normally again, although the cramping in his stomach was still coming and going.

chan was there for support though. lee know was following right behind, looking at han with a gentle, reassuring expression. han walked quietly, still feeling a bit shaky as he put one foot in front of the other. he kept one of his hands inside the front pocket of his hoodie, on his stomach, and the other one clasped tightly around chan’s.

his expression was neutral, but his eyes were still glossy and damp with tears as they neared the car. he gave his hand a comforting squeeze, opening the door to the van. he pulled away from han as the rapper climbed into the back, a little reluctantly. they sat the same way as earlier, chan in the middle row, which was empty, and lee know next to han at the back.

they made sure to have the AC on and left the windows open, as that was sure to prevent another ordeal. not long into the drive, lee know felt a weight on his shoulder, and he looked down to see han trying to fall asleep. “you’re just gonna force yourself to get sleepy?” he asked, smirking when han tried to glare at him, “not scary, sungie”.

han whined and hit lee know’s arm weakly, going back to using him as a pillow. “so comforting, hyung”, he mumbled dryly, earning an amused chuckle from chan. he wasn’t on the verge of crying anymore, didn’t feel scared and he no longer felt like being sick even if his stomach still felt upset. and lee know was letting him use him as a pillow, he guessed that was a win.

he closed his eyes and tried to focus on the quiet chatter between lee know and chan, even going as far as making a few comments here and there before he felt himself grow tired. the road was hitting curves every now and then and each time he would tense up, but lee know would play with his hair until he relaxed again.

in the end, han managed to fall asleep, and he spent what was left of the ride peacefully sleeping, completely unaware of the way he was holding onto lee know’s arm and of the pictures both of his hyungs took of him.

[just-whump-and-suffering]

Block B- Be the Light

[whump-lover-and-reader]

Leehan gets a little cheek cut <3

(Earth, Wind & Fire official mv)

[mseerie-fics]

If you're a lover of kpop/kdrama sickfics, hurt/comfort and whump and you don't know about the Whumpapedia...you should. I don't know the full thought that went into it - but even when I was less involved with whump fandom, I kept the Whumpapedia bookmarked.

It is SO. HELPFUL. It has a list of where you can find the exact whump you are looking for, of exactly who you want to see, exactly how they are being whumped.

If occasionally you just want to sit down and watch someone get beat up, or running a fever, or needing assistance to walk, or whatever...The Whumpapedia has Got Your Back.

The Whumpapedia

It started out as just an idea on the Whumpshire Discord Chat: What if our community had a database where everyone could share their favorite whumpy moments for all to see?  What if there was a place to go and search for new whump whenever we felt like it?  Well, the Tumblr Whump community listened and on April 9, 2017, The Whumpapedia was born!

The ‘Pedia, as we mods affectionately call it, is a comprehensive, community-created list of whumpy moments from TV, movies, books, anime, video games, music videos and much more. It’s also a community resource that YOU can contribute to!

Here’s how it works:

To view The Whumpapedia in easy to search spreadsheet form, click here

There is also a Whumpapedia Wiki that you can visit but it is very much a work in progress and still under construction.

Submitting By Category:

(These links will direct you to google docs where you can submit your entries.)

TV Shows

Movies (Foreign Films Included)

International TV (Korean Dramas, Telenovelas, etc)

Anime

Books

Music Videos

Video Games

Comics/Manga/Graphic Novels

Podcasts (new!)

Please be sure to provide as much information as possible. There is an “anonymous” option if you do not want your name to appear in the database. Multiple entries/submissions are always welcome. In fact, they’re encouraged!

(If you have a mass edit to submit and don’t want to keep submitting through google docs, you can download a fillable spreadsheet HERE, and email it to the mods at whumpapedia@gmail.com.)

Active mods: @fyeahvulnerablemen @ouchthatwasgood @the-wandering-whumper

[stayteezdreams]

Scenarios: Whump {Ateez x Gn!Reader}

Scenarios: Whump; how they would take care of you and react to you taking care of them.

Pairings: Kim Hongjoong x Reader; Jeong Yunho x Reader; Choi San x Reader & Song Mingi x Reader (All Gn!Readers)

Requested By Two Different Anons (during Milestone Event)

Warnings: Mentions of illness/sickness, injuries, general whump stuff.

A/N: Thank you to everyone for waiting patiently for me to get back into finishing the requests I got for the milestone event. <3 If anyone wants the other 4 members for this let me know!

Words: ~1.2k

Kim Hongjoong:

When Hongjoong is sick or hurt, he doesn't tell you how bad it is so you don't worry.

But you find out anyways (usually after interrogating Seonghwa)

Hongjoong likes to take care of you, and doesn't want you to worry too much over him.

But you don't listen to him.

When he hurt his knee during dance practice, though it wasn't serious, you still offered to help him.

You got him things around the dorm.

Reminded him to take his pain killers, massaged him, ran him a hot bath, etc.

Though he felt bad about you taking the time to help him, he really did adore the way you took care of him.

He always returns the favor in kind, when you get sick or hurt.

Though you tend to take care of him with gentle softness, he is a bit more forceful (in a loving way).

"Don't you dare try and get that yourself."

"If I come back and you aren't still in bed you wont get any food."

"Take your medicine or I am leaving."

It's never really mean, and always has a tinge of humor to it, and you know it's cause he hates that you are hurt/sick.

The worst thing he can imagine is you being hurt, so he tries his best to make you better faster, or to distract you so you aren't suffering.

He is also very very sweet when you are sick or hurt.

Cuddles just for you, gentle massages or fingers through your hair.

Bubble baths, kisses, etc. Anything he knows would made you feel better.

Jeong Yunho:

Yunho adores how you hover over him when he is sick or hurt.

He watches you with an adoring smile as you carefully read the directions and warnings of his medication and barely listens as you explain it to him.

He is so distracted by how cute he thinks you are that he forgets he is sick or hurt in the first place.

TOTALLY uses it against you.

"What do you mean you're leaving? " I just need to go get some things from the store." "What am I supposed to do then?" "I'll only be twenty minutes you'll be fine."

Hits you with the 🥺🥺🥺 and you can't help but give in.

Takes full advantage of having you around, cuddles that he refuses to end, hot baths he insists you have to share with him.

Everything you do for him when he is hurt/sick will be returned in kind.

You get a cold?

He buys every medicine he can find, twenty types of tea, cute stuffed animals, soups, etc..

He is checking your temperature, brining you cold rags to wipe your head. And the whole time he has a pout on his face.

Because he can't stand you being upset or sick.

Wishes he could trade places with you.

Doesn't care of he gets sick from cuddling with you.

"Then we will be sick together."

If you are hurt, ooohh booyyyy, pout x100.

Doesn't let you do anything.

You could hurt your wrist and he won't let you walk around.

"It could get worse!" "My wrist?" "Yes!"

You both hate when the other is suffering, but love the domesticity of taking care of one another.

Choi San:

Similar to Yunho, San loves how much you care for him when he is sick or injured.

Acts like a baby if you aren't giving him enough attention.

Steals kisses anytime you are close.

"You're gonna get me sick!""

"Then it will be my turn to take care of you."

If you are gone for too long he will text you with dramatic ass texts.

"I think I'm dying." "Why?" "My chest hurts." "WHAT?" "Because you aren't here." "Boy I swear to GOD."

Sweet smile the whole time you are taking care of him, even if he is miserable he feels like he is in heaven.

Changes your contact name to Cute Nurse. Does not change it back once he get's better.

When he finds out he did end up getting you sick, he actually feels really bad. But does as he says, and takes care of you this time.

Changes his name in your phone to Doctor Sexy, does not want you to change it back.

If either of you are hurt from an injury, taking care of each other becomes routine.

San will drag out his injury, pretending it's worse than it is just so you stay.

And as an excuse to get more shared baths out of you.

You of course see right through him.

However, if you are injured, he is so afraid to hurt you he barely comes near you.

"San, it's fine I promise." "But what if I hurt you?" "Then be gentle. I promise cuddling with me will not make my concussion worse."

Super delicate and caring with you when you are hurt.

Will fight the other's if they try to mess with you.

Makes you promise not to get hurt again.

Song Mingi:

Mingi says he doesn't want you wasting your time looking after him.

But you know he secretly loves you being around more often when he is sick/hurt.

You can tell by the soft smile on his face as he is watching you fuss after him.

Showers you with compliments because he adores you.

"You're so cute." "You'd make a great nurse/doctor." "But I don't want you taking care of anyone else." "Maybe I should by you a uniform"

Tries not to abuse the power he as over you when he is hurt/sick, but does use it as an excuse to make you stay with him.

"What if I wake up in the middle of the night and need help?" "Then I guess I'll have to stay." "I guess you will."

You are really good at consoling him when he is injured and misses out on some band activities.

You distract him with games, and keep him occupied. And he loves you so much for it.

Such a baby when it comes to you being hurt or sick.

Pouting constantly, wants to wrap you up and keep you safe from the world. Because how DARE you get hurt.

Many, many, gentle kisses to make you (and himself) feel better.

When you are sick he is not sure what to do or how to take care of you, but bless him he is trying his best.

"Here's your medicine." "Why is it so hot?" "I thought you were supposed to warm it up?" "Its cough medicine not tea."

But when you accidentally roll your ankle when on a jog, he knows exactly how to take care of you.

Is a bit over the top about it though.

And by that I mean he will carry you literally everywhere.

Need to go get water? He wont bring it to you, but he will carry you bridal style to the fridge so you can get it yourself.

He thinks it funny. You think it's ridiculous, but in a very cute way.

xx End xx

🌼 Taglist Form 🌼

Taglists:

General Taglist: @otsilliak, @brattybunfornct, @bahng-chrizz, @otakutrash669,

@tinyelfperson, @pinievsev, @teenyfinds, @everythingboutkpop,  @shymexican,

@stillwjk-channie-lixie, @luckypaintertyphoon <wont tag

Ateez Taglist: @soso59love-blog, @hongjoongsprincess, @tunaasan, @thedistractedwriter, @dear-dreamie,

@thunderous-wolf, @briqnne, @hyukssunflower, @dinossaurz, @skz1-4-3,

@staytiny2000, @demonlineslut, @vnessalau,  @dancinglikebutterflywings, @tunafishyfishylike

Mingi Taglist: @ye0nvibezzn

[whumpygifs]

[sickskz]

Obviously, I had to write a sickfic based on the skz Consequence interview…

You can find the whole interview on YouTube if you wanna watch the whole thing!

Now bear with me, this is the first time I’ve done any creative writing in YEARS and I’ve never written a K-pop sickfic before.

Previously when I’ve written, I’ve always written mostly in 3rd person, but with a limited insight from the sick persons point of view.

In this, I wanted to capture both Hyunjins side of the story, his emotions etc, but also some from Seungmin- naturally. Idk, I enjoyed writing it, but I do find it a little hard to make the shift feel smooth.

Please let me know what you think! I definitely would like to write more sickfics, this was an alluring start… and I really would like to improve!

Enjoy

_____________________________________

Blurred edges

It was almost like muscle memory, the way Hyunjin reached out his hand and waved it in a circle in front of Seungmins face. His other hand rested down on his shoulder as he looked at him, concern blooming in his chest.

He could notice the looks from the other members, but luckily Bang Chan held the microphone and answered the final question before they were free to leave. The camera crew could focus on him, Hyunjin thought, and he could focus on Seungmin.

His absent gaze lingered in the nothingness a little longer than Hyunjin liked, but after a second, Seungmin turned to his bandmate with a dazed blink. His expression was unchanged and vacant, eyes still glazed, but there was a silent understanding. He just wanted it to be over, and hoped it would be soon. Seungmin turned to look at Chan, dizzily trying to comprehend what he was saying.

Hyunjins hand moved from his shoulder to gently caress the back of Seungmins neck, noting the cool dampness of his skin and the heat radiating from him. He prayed the cameras didn’t catch the way he visibly cringed, unable to mask his worry. At the very least that it wouldn’t make the cut. He just felt so helpless, watching Seungmin struggle in such pained silence.

He had forgotten the ‘don’t draw attention to it’ completely in favor of checking in on his dongsaeng. It was the end of the interview anyways, so it was fine.

“-so, buckle up and get ready for the storm to come” he heard Chan finish the interview with a perfect flourish, and everyone gave a small round of applause. Hyunjin merely pat his free hand against his outer thigh, too preoccupied with Seungmin.

If it was possible, Seungmins complexion had paled even more since the start of the interview, and Hyunjin couldn’t help but notice how dull his eyes were. The worry burned in his chest.

That morning, when he had asked, Seungmin had merely shrugged and said he felt a little ‘off’. But during breakfast, Hyunjin had watched as Seungmin managed to stomach nothing but half a saltine and a couple sips of water. This wasn’t just exhaustion. Something was obviously wrong.

Chan exchanged a few more words with the interviewer, and once the cameras were off, the tension in the air seemed to shift. Without warning, Seungmin slumped forward in his seat. Hyunjin was by his side in an instant, wrapping an arm around his waist as the feverish boy wavered on his feet.

“Come on” he said with a voice so tender it almost cradled his words. Seungmin ducked his head, eyes blearily looking at the path before him as they trudged together towards the dressing room.

During the objectively short walk, Hyunjin couldn’t help but steal glances at him, increasingly aware of how he was not just supporting him, but carrying more of his weight with each step. Seungmin could hardly take a single step of his own, his feet dragging sluggishly and stumbling against the floor.

“Soon there, Minnie, I got you” Hyunjin murmured, unsure if Seungmin even heard him, but giving it a try nonetheless.

The door to the dressing room was just down the hall, only a few more steps to go.

“Hyung…”

Hyunjin wasn’t sure if Seungmin had stumbled on the threshold or if his body simply gave out, but in an instant, he was just about carrying deadweight.

“Shit-“ Seungmin felt like a deflating balloon in his arms, his face pale and his breathing shallow and erratic. Before anyone could react, a deep, guttural gurgle echoed from his throat. Hyunjin’s eyes shot wide, but he didn’t move as a surge of vomit erupted from Seungmin’s mouth, splashing across his jacket sleeve and hitting the floor with a nauseating splat.

Hyunjin swiftly dropped himself down to sit on one knee, easing Seungmin’s collapsing form into a safer position, his body the only thing holding him up. One arm wrapped tightly around Seungmin’s back and waist, the other crossing over his chest to keep him from toppling forward. He couldn’t tell if Seungmin was even conscious—his body felt like it was barely holding itself together by the seams.

Another choked noise tore through Seungmin, and a second wave of vomit poured from his pale lips, mixing with the mess already on the floor. Hyunjin didn’t even register the mess on his jacket, his attention fixed entirely on Seungmin, and what he could possibly do to help. Seungmin’s body shook like a leaf, wringing itself out, before going completely limp in his arms.

“Seungmin—” Hyunjin’s voice caught in his throat, his breath hitching with panic. “Help! Someone!” he cried out, his voice sharp and desperate as he pulled Seungmin’s unresponsive body against his chest.

Shaking, he shuffled away from the rancid mess on the floor, carefully lowering his bandmate down with trembling hands. His fingers moved instinctively to Seungmin’s neck, checking for a pulse. A rush of relief washed over him. Thank god— it was fast and weak, but at least he was still alive..

The echo of multiple sets of feet pounding down the hallway was almost disorienting, but Hyunjin barely registered it as he looked down at Seungmin, his chest tight. When he finally glanced back, he saw the rest of the group rushing toward them, their faces a mix of confusion and fear.

Chan was quick to take charge, sending out orders and making sure the scene was as secluded as it could be in an open hallway. They called the medics, and the rest of the members shielded the boys on the floor from the onlooking crews.

Within a minute or so, medical staff took over, and Hyunjin sat frozen on the floor, eyes watery and heart pounding rapidly against his chest.

Seungmin remained motionless, his brows pinched together in what seemed to be pain, his skin an alarming shade of ashen white. The sight made Hyunjin’s stomach churn, dread clawing its way up his throat.

God, please don’t let this be as bad as it feels, he thought desperately. Why hadn’t he pushed him harder that morning? If he’d insisted, maybe they could’ve postponed the interview, or Seungmin could have been excused— maybe this could’ve been avoided altogether.

“Hey-“ Changbins voice broke through his spiralling thoughts. Hyunjin flinched when he felt a hand on his shoulder, but when he looked up, he saw his hyung offering a look of care and concern. “Are you okay?”

For the first time since Seungmin had collapsed, Hyunjin allowed himself to exhale. He dropped his head forwards, hiding his face in his hands as he took a couple deep breaths to steady himself.

“Y-yeah” he cleared his throat, raising his head back up and meeting Changbins gaze.

“I just… I just need him to feel better” he concluded. His voice carried much less power than he intended, deflated and shaky. Changbins wrapped a strong arm around him, welcoming his slimmer frame into a comforting hug. Hyunjin didn’t oppose it, latching onto his hyung as the burning in his chest kept soaring.

“He’s going to be okay” Changbin said, and although there was a shakiness in his voice as well, Hyunjin believed him. Seungmin was going to be okay. He had to be.

______________________________________

The world around him came to in pieces, everything muffled like his body was floating weightlessly in icy water, the chill seeping deep into his aching bones. His head pounded in a rhythmic manner, like a dull drumbeat synchronised with his heart.

Seungmin fully expected to open his eyes to find the ceiling of a hotel room looking back at him. He didn’t. Nor was he in a comfy hotel bed, much to his dismay. Wait, what was going on?

With his eyes cracked open to slits, he meekly scanned the space around him the best he could without moving his body the slightest. A couch. He was on a couch, his neck propped up by pillows and his legs resting across someone's lap. Hyunjin's lap, his hazy mind finally supplied.

His gaze drifted downward, catching on a faint sting in his left arm. Confusion deepened as he noticed the plastic tubing taped into his skin, trailing up toward a steel pole standing beside the couch. A bag hung from it, clear liquid dripping methodically into the IV line.

His stomach twisted in knots, a wave of nausea gnawing in the pits, and he groaned softly. It was a quiet sound, but it was enough.

The weight beneath his legs shifted, and Hyunjin startled, his head snapping up from where it had been resting against the couch. His eyes widened, locking onto Seungmin with immediate, unguarded relief.

“You’re awake” Hyunjin said, a soft, relieved smile stretching across his face. Even so, there was evident tension in his expression. Concern. “How do you feel, ‘minnie?”

Seungmin blinked slowly, still feeling so out of it all. He parted his lips to say respond, but the only sound coming out was a small, unsteady breath. Hyunjins face softened, and his hand moved instinctively to rub Seungmins leg in reassurance.

“It’s okay, take it easy” the older of the two murmured, gently massaging the aching muscles in Seungmins calf.

Hyunjin was only wearing a white t-shirt, and Seungmin couldn’t help but wonder how he wasn’t freezing. He was, and he had… what, 6 jackets covering him? Could they really not find a blanket?

Clearing his throat, Seungmin winced at the sharp sting that radiated into his jaw. “Hmm.. what.. what’s going on?” He finally mustered, his eyes fluttering close to relieve them of the strain.

Hyunjins hand paused for a moment, but then squeezed his leg gently. “You passed out..” he started explaining, voice sheepish as if he was dialling it down to not alarm him.

“After the interview.. your fever was so high we almost had to have you admitted to hospital, ‘Minnie” Hyunjin clicked his tongue, taking a small break in his speech before continuing “luckily, the IV fluids and medication the medics sat up for you was very effective. We’re in a private back room right now, they said we could stay here until you get a little better”

Seungmin frowned slightly, trying to piece the fragments of his hazy memory together. He remembered feeling weak, dizzy, nauseous, hot, cold. But everything that happened after he left the studio was a total blur. His eyes fluttered open again, confusion hanging over him like a dark cloud.

He startled a little when he saw Hyunjin pointing some alien-gun looking device to his forehead, hovering just above his skin. It beeped, and Hyunjin pulled it back with a concentrated expression.

“38.8°C (102.F).. much better at least” Hyunjin said with a soft ��tsk’, and Seungmin couldn’t help but wonder how high his fever must have been if that was considered ‘much better’.

“How long..” Seungmin trailed off, voice small. Hyunjin looked at the clock ticking on the wall. “You’ve been out for almost two hours.” He explained, and Seungmin felt his stomach drop for reasons beyond his ailment. “But it’s okay- the others aren’t even back yet. They decided to do another appearance with a studio close by so you could get some time to recover. We can probably leave when they finish” Hyunjin quickly added, sensing the distress that flashed through his eyes.

He wanted to ask more, guilt was clawing at his heart, but his energy was quickly waning. “I’m sorry… ‘didn’t mean to cause trouble..” he managed softly, tears stinging the corner of his eyes. Hyunjins eyes softened, and he shook his head, the corner of his lips twitching upward.

“Don’t” his hyung said with a sigh. “You didn't cause any trouble, Seungmin. Just get some rest. The others will be here to pick us up soon enough”

Seungmin's chest tightened in something close to gratitude, but he didn't have the strength to say more. His bandmates cared so much for him that it made his heart ache, the least he could do was try to get better for them as soon as possible.

The soft sound of Hyunjin's voice, the rhythmic drip of the IV, and the comforting weight of his touch lulled him back into a drowsy, half-conscious state. And for once, it felt okay to just let go and sleep.

[ourdadai]

୨୧ han sua ( atriz ) lockscreens.

[dudadragneel]

Hey guys it's me!

How are you?

I'm back with another original of mine!

I hope you'll enjoy!

And stay tuned! There's a really long fic coming up soon 👀

Spending the night in the bathroom because he got food poisoning

KEEPING HIM COMPANY

Goddamn these hectic schedules and how they affected the members' health.

They were on vacation, finally, and Chan, like always, would spend time with you and then would take you to Australia to stay with his family.

So far the perfect planning for a much-awaited vacation. But things went wrong on day one.

You decided to spend part of the day out and eat lunch at a newly-opened restaurant.

Good decision?

It would later be proved to not have been.

The food tasted delicious and it was quite the generous serving and you both knew the boys would love it if they were there.

You two talked about what you'd like to do while he was in vacation, like dates, romantic nights, trips etc.

Everything was going well, until it wasn't.

By the time you got back to your apartment, Chan was feeling under the weather, which was weird because he was feeling perfectly fine a few hours before.

He had cold sweats and his stomach was churning and gurgling loudly. It was burning and it felt heavy. Yes, he did eat a lot, but it was a different kind of heavy, he felt bloated. Not only felt, it was quite visible.

You were lying down on the bed, watching some series and you noticed Chan was restless, he kept moving and even hissing from time to time.

- Love? Are you okay?

- Yeah...it's just my stomach...it feels weird.

- Weird how?

- I don't know, maybe indigestion? It's kind of burning.

- Well, you ate a lot so it could be. I can make you some tea or do you want some medicine?

- I'm not sure medication is a good idea right now. I'll take the tea.

- Okay.

You left the bedroom to get him some tea to help with the burning sensation in his stomach and hopefully help it digest the food.

When you got back, Chan was curled up, looking like a baby kangaroo.

- Hey~ here's the tea. I didn't add any sugar so it might be a little bitter.

- Thanks... ugh- yeah, that's definitely bitter.

He added, making a disgusted face, earning a laugh from you and then smiling at you fondly.

The tea helped a little, at least in the beginning.

But what was going on inside his body was worse than just indigestion and he'd find that out pretty soon.

⏳

Despite being on vacation you still had one more thing to work on before you were 100% free, so you took you computer to bed and lay down next to Chan with him curling up one more time. Something was making him feel uncomfortable and you knew it wasn't just a simple case of indigestion.

As he was leaning on your shoulder, you started to rub his arm and then stroke his curly hair while he tried his best to focus on you working and ignore the increasing discomfort in his stomach.

He loved to see you so passionate abou your work, just like you did with him, with the countless times you stayed with him in his studio.

But no matter how much he tried, his stomach was in absolute shambles and burning. The awful sensation was growing stronger by the minute and he gave up on trying to deal with it on his own.

- Babe...

- Hmm? What is it?

- Can you rub my stomach? It's hurting really bad...

- Of course, honey. But don't you wanna go to the bathroom?

- No, at least not now.

- Okay, then. Come here.

You put you computer to the side and put another series on TV again while he lay down on your lap.

You started to rub his stomach up and down, and you could feel it rumbling under your touch, as well as how bloated it was.

Chan's expression would turn into one of pain and discomfort every now and then, but he was enjoying the feeling of your hand.

He had one of his hands buried under your thighs because that brought some sort of comfort for him.

But as you kept rubbing his stomach, it let out a loud gurgling noise and Chan unconsciously gripped your thighs and clenched his other hand.

Something was starting to move up inside of him and he could already feel the foul taste in his mouth.

- Honey, can you stop for a while? I'm gonna throw up-

He said covering his mouth to suppress a gag, quickly getting up from the bed and dashing to the bathroom with you following close behind.

He almost didn't make it to the toilet before vomit escaped through his fingers, the lunch he had coming back in disgusting undigested chunks.

- Oh god.

You stood next to him and started rubbing his back which was heaving under your hand, and for some reason felt a little hot.

He kept on retching until more vomit came out, a little thicker this time hurting his throat on the process.

- Oh baby. You're doing good.

You reassured patting his back and kissing the top of his head.

- It feels horrible....

- Do you think it was the food?

- Maybe...we had different dishes-

The sheer mention of food triggered his stomach again, sending more content up.

- There we go, just let it out.

After a few minutes he was left dry heaving and coughing.

- Do you feel any better?

- Not much. It still feels heavy.

- And the nausea?

- It's still here but less annoying.

- That's good enough. Why don't you take a shower? Maybe you'll feel a little better.

- Okay.

- I'll bring you some clothes.

- Thank you.

The shower although good, didn't really help with his situation. The cramps continued, the nausea kept coming and going, exactly like waves. He actually had to bend over the drain a few times but nothing really came up.

He thought that after throwing up he'd feel better but he kept on gagging, so he knew by now this could pretty much be a case of food poisoning.

And he'd soon find out he was right, unfortunately.

Finishing his bath, he was feeling more tired than before and hot, even if he'd just taken a cold shower.

You had gotten the bed ready while he was showering and was waiting for him to join you.

- Did the shower help?

- Not that much... I kept gagging all the time.

- Did you throw up again?

- No, but I'm still nauseous.

- Wanna try some medicine now?

- Yeah.

You gave him a gel capsule of an antiemetic and he gagged when it went down but thankfully it didn't come back up.

He cuddled on you, blanket covering his slightly shivering body and you proceeded to stroke his hair again, playing with it's curls and tracing patterns on his face, noticing it felt a bit hot to the touch.

- Honey, you're a little hot.

- Yeah, I noticed that when I walked out of the shower and I do feel a bit cold, actually.

- Lemme check it. 37.5°C. That's a low grade fever but I don't think it's anything to worry about now. But if it gets higher then you probably got food poisoning.

- I hope not.

- Want something to eat? Soup? Anything?

- I don't know if I can keep anything down but I'm also a bit hungry...

- I'll make something really quick. You don't need to eat everything just a bit okay?

- Okay.

You prepared him some light snacks, which he managed to eat a good amount and it did sit well with his stomach. And then he lay down on your chest again.

You went back to stroking his hair while he gently caressed your thigh and within a few minutes you were both fast asleep.

But the peace didn't last long.

⏳

About 1h30 into the night, Chan broke in cold sweats, his stomach was gurgling again and doing flips, he could feel the contents sloshing around. He tried to change his position but it didn't work.

The nausea he was feeling earlier had gotten really worse and his mouth started salivating. He was shivering which indicated the fever probably got higher.

Something started to creep up his chest and it felt like a burp but when he tried to let it out, he was betrayed by his body as it brought up a little amount of acid liquid. He knew he was gonna throw up sooner rather than later and he didn't want to bother you, so he quietly got out of the bed, suppressing a gag triggered by the sudden movement and locked himself in the bathroom.

⏳

He bent over the toilet but still tried his best to hold it because he knew that the sound would wake you up, and that's the last thing he wanted to do.

Leaving his mouth open, he started off only gagging unproductively and making as little noise as possible.

His body kept rocking back and forth and he was swallowing hard everytime, still trying to prevent himself from throwing up.

But his body really needed to get that out and it didn't matter what he wanted.

His stomach contracted making him gag one more time but he insisted on not vomiting and swallowed it back, but that proved to be a wrong move.

He ended up choking and that triggered a coughing fit which brought out his dinner, splattering in the toilet.

At the moment, he heard you calling out his name.

Shit!

He thought to himself, he knew you were tired and really didn't want to bother you in the middle of the night.

- Babe?

You called sitting up on the bed, taking a few seconds to properly wake up and then you heard a retch and the sound of liquid hitting liquid.

- babe? Are you okay?

You asked with a worried voice getting up from the bed and heading to the bathroom.

When you opened the door, Chan was throwing up one more time and you rushed to his side, sitting on the bathtub and started rubbing his back.

- Oh honey...why didn't you call me?

- I didn't want to wake you up.

- Please don't worry about me...

You said, voice sounding concerned with a tiny tone of annoyance.

He coughed up another thick bout that came out of his nose making him choke and gag productively again.

- Oh my dear. That's it, just let it out. You're doing good.

When the next wave came out he ended up swaying forward and you quickly reached out to hold his forehead and noticed it was burning, compared to before.

- Babe, you're running a fever. This is looking like food poisoning.

You said with a worried and sad expression on your face, knowing how the next few hours and days would go by.

- Lemme check it.

You placed the thermometer under his armpit and helped him hold it there.

The numbers were almost alarmingly high, 38.9°C.

- Babe, what else are you feeling?

Chan rested his head on his arm, not really trusting himself to get his face away from the toilet.

- Dizzy, cold, sweating and nauseous.

- From the looks of it, it's definitely food poisoning...

- That's just great...

He said with a sarcastic tone and burying his face in his arm.

- I'll get you some water okay?

He just nodded, gulping down the awful taste in his mouth.

You came back with a bottle of cold water and handed it to him, while sitting back on the edge of the bathtub.

He took a few sips and rested his head on his arm again. You kept rubbing his back and stroking his hair, trying to comfort him.

But his stomach protested against those small sips of water and within a few seconds, it came right back up not giving him time to even change his position.

- Oh honey...

You cooed still rubbing his back again and yawning a bit. But oh boy was that a mistake. He loathed the idea that he cut your sleep short and your yawn just added to that.

- Honey, you can go back to bed, I'll be fine.

- No, Babe, I'm okay, don't worry about me.

- But you're tired, please. I want you to rest.

- Chan, I won't be able to rest knowing that you're sick and puking your guts out.

He chuckled at the last sentence but he was still sad that you were denying good hours of sleep to stay with him.

And again, his stomach was just determined to make him suffer and contracted strongly sending up a thick stream of vomit that soiled the entire inner part of the toilet. Neither the sound nor the sight were exactly pleasant.

After he threw up one more time, you knew for sure it would be a long night and Chan wouldn't be out of the bathroom anytime soon. And you wouldn't leave his side, because although he always wanted to deal with things on his own, deep down inside he subconsciously wanted comfort and he always found that when he was with you.

So you considered all the options and decided to camp out in the bathroom.

- Honey, wait here just a moment.

You went back into the bedroom and got a few blankets and pillows and came back, then organized them on the floor so you could make the spot as comfy as possible.

- What are you doing?

He asked with a raspy voice and a tiny smile.

- Well...you've got food poisoning and I don't think you're leaving this bathroom anytime soon and I won't leave you in here alone so..... we'll "sleep" here.

You answered him with a smile and laughing a little bit, trying to lift the mood.

- I'm sorry for making you do this....but thanks.

Chan said leaning on you and closing his eyes, trying to enjoy the moment of peace his stomach allowed him.

- You're welcome, honey.

⏳

The night was indeed long like you predicted with Chan vomiting more times than you could count and only getting enough sleep. His fever kept oscillating and in-between rounds of vomiting you managed to help him take at least two baths.

When morning rose, both of you were completely exhausted and if any of the boys were to show up at your house, they'd probably be scared because you had a complexion just like Samara's.

But by that time, Chan was feeling a little better or at least well enough to stay in the bedroom with a bucket instead of the cold floor of the bathroom.

You made him breakfast, which he managed to keep down until lunch but then it started again, after all it was food poisoning, just one night of continuous vomiting wouldn't do the trick.

After about 4 days, Chan felt like all the life had been sucked out of him but you made sure he ate every single meal that you made him to regain what he'd lost.

And he made sure you were pampered like you deserved after going through so many sleepless nights with him.

[angelmatthew]

₊˚.༄ ginger tea - sung hanbin

this is very self indulgent because i was sick last week too :(( i can never keep sickfics short and sweet because i'm a sucker for whump, this is very soft whump though ! my writing's still a bit rusty but it's getting better (i hope). also, i'm still not sure about the layout for my posts so i'm trying out different things, i'll stick to one layout eventually!

🖇️request

↬hanbin x gn!reader ↬2054 words ↬fluff, soft angst, one shot ↬tw: mentions of vomit, a little bit whumpy, not proofread

your muscles were aching, your head pounding like a bass drum and you could barely breathe with your stuffy nose. you had to be in class in an hour but getting out of bed was a daunting mission.

you rolled over, clinging to the warmth of your bed, hoping a few more minutes might work a magic fix. and, before you knew it, you were out like a light.

you’re woken up two hours later by the sound of your phone ringing.

"hey, where are you sweetheart?" you picked up the phone without even checking the caller. once you recognize the familiar voice, you immediately snap into a sitting position, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

"oh my god, bin, i’m so sorry i overslept," you confess. you hear background chatter and figure hanbin is already at the coffee shop for your study date. he promised to help you with your finals, despite his busy schedule.

hanbin's voice carries genuine concern. "it’s okay, your voice sounds tired, are you feeling alright?"

“i’m okay," you hesitantly admit, "just feeling a bit under the weather. i'm so sorry for making you wait."

you downplay your ailment, though you can never fully deceive hanbin; his perceptive nature sees through your attempt to minimize the situation. the guilt starts settles in.

"It’s alright, i'm coming over," he reassures you with his signature comforting tone. there's not a single trace of annoyance in his voice, even though he's been patiently waiting for you for the past thirty minutes.

"no! it's okay. I know you're busy, and you made time for me to help with studying, and—" you start to babble, but hanbin interrupts with a soft chuckle.

"my schedule's never too packed for you. plus, it gives me an excuse to escape practice." he speaks in that sing-songy voice you adore, prompting a genuine smile from you.

"well, in that case, i'm glad i could rescue you from the clutches of boredom."

he laughs, "exactly. I’m bringing some medication, tea and cuddles."

true to his word, a few minutes later, there's a gentle knock on your door. you’re greeted with a bear hug and whisker dimples.

“how are you feeling beautiful ?” you can't help but grimace at the pet name, your hair's a mess, you’re pretty sure there’s a toothpaste stain on your sweatshirt, and the fever's turned you into a bit of a sweat machine.

"i look awful," you grumble, stealing a quick glance at your reflection in the small corridor mirror. hanbin's eyebrows furrow, he's quick to interrupt your self-critique.

"you always look beautiful to me," he adds, a reassuring smile accompanying his words. he then, presses his palm against your forehead, seamlessly slipping into concerned-mom-mode. his eyes pop wide, and his lips pull a total 'o' move – the classic hanbin surprise face.

"you're burning up!" he exclaims, guiding you to the couch with a gentle urgency, concerned that standing might tire you out even more. your dizziness was palpable; even reaching the front door felt like a monumental effort.

"did you eat something since this morning?" hanbin questions while putting the grocery bags on the kitchen island, his focus shifting to the small pharmacy bag.

"no, i felt too nauseous," you admit, your voice laced with a hint of shame.

he pauses, worry etched across his features, but he swiftly transforms it into a warm beam, the last thing he wants is to make you feel bad. "no worries, love. let's get you cozy first,"

he disappears into your room, returning with a fluffy blanket and a pile of cushions. he arranges the cushions, making sure they cradle you just right. the blanket, soft and inviting, is draped over you, and he tucks its edges gently, creating a cozy nest.

you can't help but admire his simple yet caring gestures. there's a warmth in his eyes, a quiet assurance that makes you feel secure.

"better?" he asks, his eyes searching yours for any sign of discomfort.

“yes, thanks bin, you're an angel” you grab his hand, trying to convey your appreciation as best as you can — can’t risk a kiss in your current state. hanbin takes your hand in his, and kisses each of your knuckles softly, you feel like your heart might explode. in moments like these, you wonder how you got this lucky.

“no need to thank me, now, you need to take your medication…" he makes his way to the kitchen and rummages through the grocery bags, revealing an array of medicine.

he hands you a cup of water along with a few pills and another cup filled with a suspiciously white liquid. "i know it looks like a lot, but the pharmacist promised it should work wonders,"

you nod reluctantly, eyeing the medicine-filled cup. you take a sip of the chalky liquid, the taste makes your face scrunch up in immediate disgust.

"ugh, it's gross," you whine, hanbin chuckles at your distaste.

"you did it! now, the water to wash away the icky aftertaste," he hands you the water with an encouraging smile. "bottoms up!”

you manage a small grin, appreciating his encouragement, and with a final gulp, you conquer the medicine ordeal.

"now, about the nausea, how about a little snack, you can’t take more medicine on an empty stomach" hanbin suggests, you manage a weak nod, grateful for his attention. as he heads back to the kitchen, you can't shake the lingering discomfort; the idea of ingesting any food makes you feel even more nauseous but you don’t want to discourage your boyfriend.

he returns with a plate of crackers and slices of apple, “you don’t have to finish it all,” he hands you the fork with an encouraging nod then turns on the TV and puts on your comfort show, in the hopes that having distraction will make it easier for your stomach to handle the meal.

hanbin watches you eat with a mix of hope and concern, his eyes searching for signs of improvement. after a few bites, your stomach rumbles, and you reluctantly set down your fork. he doesn't want to force you to eat but on the other hand that the lack of nutrition might make you feel worse.

"just one more bite, okay?" hanbin insists, his voice soft. instead of waiting for your response, he picks up a piece of apple and brings it to your lips, offering it with a reassuring smile. "small bites. we'll take it slow."

you take a deep breath before taking another miniscule bite, but as hanbin's hopeful gaze meets yours, the nausea suddenly intensifies. without warning, you get up abruptly, rushing to the bathroom as your stomach rebels. your boyfriend follows, concern etched on his face. you wish he didn’t but he holds your hair gently as you vomit, the sound echoing in the small space.

“i'm so sorry," each retch is accompanied by a twinge of shame, intensified by the fact that fever has left you a bit delirious. you can't help but shed a few tears. yet, through it all, hanbin remains unwaveringly calm and gentle, rubbing your back soothingly.

"shh, it's okay” he repeats, his voice a steady anchor in the storm. he stays by your side, offering comfort as you navigate through this less-than-pleasant moment. as you finish, he helps you rinse your mouth, his touch gentle against the fatigue and fever.

guiding you back to the living room, he reassures, "take your time," and tucks you under the blanket. "if you're not up for eating, we can try again later."

you stare at his expression, he looks even more concerned than before, and you're not sure why but an odd inclination to cry takes hold. maybe it's because hanbin is right here, taking care of you, even handling the less glamorous parts without seeming annoyed or bothered in the slighest. your thoughts became a muddled blend of exhaustion, an overwhelming swell of gratitude, and an uneasy undercurrent of guilt,

as you struggled to fend off the fever-induced haze in your mind, you hadn't noticed hanbin quietly settling beside you, extending a glass of water. "small sips,"

you accept the glass, your body still tense from the earlier ordeal. "i'm sorry," you repeat while trying to supress the sob that threatens to escape your lips.

"hey, don't be sorry," he says, wiping away a tear with a tenderness that melts the tension, his thumb gently caressing your cheek. "i'm the one who made you eat when you didn't feel like it. we'll take it one step at a time, okay?" his soothing voice intensifies your emotions, and you find yourself shedding a few more tears, feeling extra awful with your scratchy throat and stuffy nose.

being the empath that he is, hanbin seems on the brink of tears himself, but he doesn't succumb. instead, he gently rubs your back and strokes your hair, humming your favorite songs in an attempt to help you calm down.

"think you need some sleep," he whispers after a few minutes. you nod weakly, and he helps you shift into a more comfortable position, fluffing the pillows and adjusting the blankets.

"anything hurting?" he asks while tucking you in, his fingers gently ensuring the edges of the blankets cocoon you snugly.

"my whole body is aching," you murmur, the exhaustion evident in your voice. moments later, hanbin returns from the kitched with warm heat packs, their comforting weight carefully arranged on your body. as he tends to you, the furrow on his brow and his careful, deliberate movements betray the emotional toll it takes on him to witness you in discomfort. he refrains from asking more questions, not wanting to exhaust you or burden you; he still feels a bit guilty from the ealier nausea ordeal.

before he even gets the chance to check on you again, you've already drifted off to sleep. when you slowly open your eyes two hours later, hanbin is still hovering over you, changing the wet cloth on your forehead with a fresh, cool one.

"hey sleepyhead, feeling better?" he asks, gently stroking your cheek. you nod slowly, his cool hand soothing your warm face.

now that your mind is clearer and the fever has gone down, you feel the shame settle in — you've never been this vulnerable in front of hanbin, you know he doesn't mind taking care of you but you feel sorry nonetheless.

"thank you again, for taking care of me, i was a complete mess earlier," you shyly blurt out.

"it's what i'm here for my love," in response, he graces you with that infectious smile, reminiscent of fluffy clouds and blooming spring flowers.

hanbin leaves your side momentarily but returns with a steaming mug of ginger tea, its comforting aroma filling the room.

"here, this might help you feel even better," he says, handing you the mug. the warmth of the tea and his comforting presence start to chase away the stiffness in your body.

hanbin settles down beside you, wrapping his arms around you in a gentle embrace.

"You know," he starts with a mischievous glint in his eye, "you owe me. i've been exposed to your germs," you chuckle and hanbin's relieved to see you laugh.

"i don't mind as long as I get to cuddle you like this," you say, sinking deeper into the embrace.

"even when I'm all sweaty?"

"you did it for me, i don't see why i wouldn't do it for you," you say, your tone light but filled with genuine affection.

hanbin seems a bit taken aback by your response. even though he spends his time taking care of the people around him, accepting the same level of care from others has always been a bit challenging for him. it's as if he fears it might compromise his dependable attitude. however, ever since you started dating, he's been gradually getting used to the idea and the same goes for you — taking care of each other even in the messiest moments felt more natural.

"you've got yourself a deal. just promise you won't judge the sweaty, sickly version of me too harshly."

you playfully roll your eyes, "bring it on, i'm ready for it warts and all,"

with a smirk, he leans in, planting a gentle kiss on your forehead. "i'll hold you to that."

[fairyniceyeah]

💎 All 13 parts of my heart (Part 4/5)

Title from 1 to 13 (SEVENTEEN)

All 13 parts of my heart I All 13 parts of my heart II All 13 parts of my heart III

Summary: “Carats often describe you as being very close, some even say Nobody loves SEVENTEEN as much as SEVENTEEN does. Why do you suppose that is so?”, the interviewer asked.

CW: fighting

Whumpee: OT13

At the interview company the next day a new problem made itself known. 

Seungcheol had barely slept all night, tossing and turning, worried for his members and the interview. He was so so scared of what the day would bring, afraid that the group was actually falling apart. How long was it until somebody said something they would regret and could not take back? How long until insults were spat that could not be forgiven? How long until a member wanted out? 

For now Seungcheol could only helplessly watch how the team had split itself into four little groups that somehow got along within each group but seemed to be unable to control their disdain for the others. Well, at least three of four groups.

The first group had built itself around Seokmin and Minghao. The four of them were lounging on a sofa in the corner of the waiting room of the studio where they were set to film. Vernon, while he was still quiet and withdrawn, seemingly was touched by their care and was now hanging out with them. It was better than him being alone, Seungcheol supposed. To his surprise Wonwoo had joined their group but apparently Vernon had forgiven him? 

Who had not forgiven Wonwoo, was Mingyu, who had built his own front with Seungkwan and Jeonghan. Seungcheol didn’t know how that had happened either but he was more than unhappy about it and he could help but keep glancing at them, sitting at the other side of the room on floor mats, Seungkwan laying with his head in Jeonghan’s lap.

Seungcheol couldn't help but miss Jeonghan at his side and just two days ago Jeonghan had sat like that with Joshua. Now both of them wouldn’t look at each other. Seungkwan and Mingyu needed a hyung, yes, but was Jeonghan in his anger really the right idea?

Jun and Dino were on their own, no surprise there. Both of them tended to stick to one person most of the time and Jun was probably helping Dino’s insecurities of being alone in this case, while Dino reassured Jun of his place in the group. It was toxic for the rest but helpful for them.

Seungcheol, Joshua and Hoshi had become their own group without any of their own intent. They were just the ones mostly uninvolved in the fighting, reluctantly joined by a lonely Woozi who seemed to have sought out the least drama. 

But these groups meant that the seating chart from yesterday was moot. So, in a fit of desperation, Hoshi, Joshua and Seungcheol stared at Hoshi’s phone minutes trying to change things before the interview was set to take place, while Jun, Dino and Woozi were still getting their make-up done.

“What if we put them together in the groups?”, Hoshi asked, glancing at them, “separated by us, uh, neutral ones? I hate to put Jihoonie in the middle of it all but if we … hold on.”

He scribbled onto his note app, showing the result to the other two. Seungcheol nodded slowly, agreeing with his idea. Jeonghan and Seungkwan in the back, with Mingyu sitting in front of them were separated from Jun and Dino in the back by Seungcheol and in the front by Hoshi and Woozi from Wonwoo, Minghao and Vernon. Joshua would then separate Dino and Seokmin, also in the back, from each other. It wasn’t ideal with Dino diagonally behind Minghao but it would have to do.

Joshua sighed and said: “Let’s switch Junnie and Dino. I don’t want Dino and Seokmin too close to each other. There is only so much I can do and over there you are at least two. Also, let’s switch Hannie and Seungkwannie and uh, no, don’t. It’s fine like that.”

“Good idea!”, Hoshi agreed, but winced when he saw why Joshua had interrupted himself. Seungcheol bit his lip, hating that he and Jeonghan were to be separated. Over the years it had come natural to the members to place him and Jeonghan together when possible, but now with him and Jeonghan fighting it would be easier to just have Seungcheol buffer Seungkwan and Dino on his own instead of having Jeonghan next to him to keep Dino and Seungkwan further away from each other.

“It has to work. I am lost on any other ideas”, he said weakly.

Hoshi handed the phone to Seungcheol, who had no choice but to rush over to the managers. “Jisu-noona”, he called, bowing his head, “could we re-arrange the seating again? We have a better solution now.”

The manager looked at Seungcheol in disbelief. “You are … you aren’t kidding. I’m sorry, we can’t. We already turned the seating arrangement in to the director. We can’t change anything now.”

“Damn”, Seungcheol cursed. “Yeah, yeah, okay. We will have to make do.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Make sure you do, S.Coups-ssi.”

💎

The tears Seungcheol had tried to push away the past days were about to spill over. The interview had gone surprisingly fine until that point, he supposed. The tension wasn’t as obvious as they had feared. But then it all went downhill so fast he didn’t even have time to think about how to stop it.

“Carats often describe you as being very close, some even say Nobody loves SEVENTEEN as much as SEVENTEEN does. Why do you suppose that is so?”, the interviewer asked.

An embarrassing silence followed, drawn out by the collective group not meeting each other’s eyes. Seungcheol felt himself flush, body going hot as he felt shame creep up. But what was he to say? He wasn’t sure if a lie could cover the issues now.

Finally Jeonghan cleared his throat… and made it worse. “We are like a family”, he said, pointedly looking at all members, “and we love each other very much. Of course there are times we don’t agree and fight over stupid things but at the end of the day, we truly are more like a family than friends or colleagues.”

Seungcheol closed his eyes, already knowing the drama that would unfold. Why would Jeonghan choose now of all times to try to mediate between the members? He knew it was an idea to make the group agree and remember their love for each other but right now it was more like forcing them to reveal their troubles to the public. It was just plain stupid and the company would have to pay off the interview company a lot for damage control. Jeonghan meant well but he was too deep in his quest to make everything sunshine and rainbows.

“Stupid things?”, Dino muttered under his breath, loud enough that it was obvious he intended for Jeonghan to hear.

Jeonghan shot him a glare. “Yeah, stupid things. We are all vastly different people, of course we are going to react to things differently or have different opinions.”

“Stop, Hannie. Stop”, Seungcheol pleaded, feeling everything spiral out of control. The interviewer was watching them with eyes as wide as saucers and the cameramen were looking away, seeming very uncomfortable. Their managers at the back were glaring at Seungcheol, Hoshi and Woozi. But it was too late.

“Good talk”, Minghao cut in, completely ignoring Seungcheol and leaning forward so he could look at the two at the other end of the group. “So you have never shouted at members because they were doing their own thing and you felt disturbed by their mere presence? You have never fought over stupid things? You are a lying hypocrite, hyung.”

“Don’t talk to me this way, Xu Minghao”, Jeonghan spat back, “stop riding on your high horse. You have fought too. We all have done things we aren’t proud of. That doesn’t mean we can’t apologize and forgive.”

“That doesn’t mean we can’t apologize”, Dino repeated mockingly, “when is anybody going to apologize for treating me like shit and making me do chores because I’m the maknae? When are you guys going to stop doing things without me because Dino is the youngest, just a baby?”

“Not everybody can be - what do they call it? - maknae on top. At least you weren’t dumped for a dinner date because you were working hard”, Seungkwan yelled, jumping up. “Do you know how it feels to be one of the best vocalists in the industry and still you don’t get stage front and center because you are singing high backing vocals? It must be so hard to be in the middle with all the fans' eyes on you, dancing and …”

“Oh, shut up, Seungkwan”, Jun interrupted, his tone mocking, “it must be so hard to have fans praise your vocals and actually get lines!”

“It’s not Seungkwan’s choice who gets which lines, you idiot”, Mingyu called.

Seungcheol felt Woozi shrink into himself beside him but before he could react, Hoshi jumped up and turned around to face the group. The unintentional side jab at his uninvolved best friend must have been the breaking point for him.

“Stop it! I have enough! You are all acting like kindergarteners and I am sick of it. Hyung said it, we are family, but I am slowly beginning to stop believing this. Where is the love we have for each other? You are embarrassing us all with your fights. Maybe we should start calling ourselves Sixteen because the One team is utter bullshit!”

Hoshi turned back to the cameras and bowed. “I’m sorry, but I can’t do this anymore. Please forgive us.” Then he stormed off.

The interviewer just slowly nodded, his mouth half open. He had not expected his simple question to escalate like this and how could he have? They were known as a group who was very close. For fucks’s sake, the basically shared parents, were closer to each other than to their own siblings at this point.

Seungcheol, feeling like he was trapped in a nightmare, stood up slowly and also bowed. He hated his leader title more than he ever had but he knew he needed to damage control first and foremost. “I’m very sorry too. We are … going through a hard time right now. We would be very grateful if you would delete those scenes…”

He wanted to continue but was interrupted by Manager Hyunseok, who was red in the face and more angry that Seungcheol had ever seen him.

“S.Coups-ssi, stop. Take the group backstage and handle this. Now. I don’t care how you do it but I don’t want to see you all again until you have managed to overcome this. I expect you to write an apology to the interview company and to HYBE. I am deeply disappointed by you all”, he spat. “I don’t trust you to handle anything else right now.”

Ashamed, Seungcheol stared at his shoes and bowed deeply. He had truly fucked up as leader.

“Let’s go”, he hissed through clenched teeth, pointing the group at the backstage area. It was time to set an end to this. It had gone on for far too long.

Slowly they all shuffled out, some looking angry, some close to tears.

💎

“Well, this sucked”, Jeonghan surmised in a dead pan as he pushed open the door to the waiting room. Irony seemed to be his defense at this point, a way to protect himself. Seungcheol knew there was deep hurt below the cold exterior.

“No shit”, Dino agreed darkly. 

They filtered into the room in deep silence, none of them knowing what to say. And what was there to say? The fights had completely escalated and become too public for any of their likes. If the interviewer or any of the staff said anything to the wrong person their careers might be over. They were lucky if the interviewer’s company didn’t manipulate HYBE into debt to pay off their silence.

As Seungcheol closed the door behind himself he saw that Hoshi was pacing up and down the waiting room’s length. His heart felt a little lighter knowing where the younger member was. Seeing him storm off like that and not knowing where he was …

“Hyung”, Hoshi called, glancing over his shoulder, “oh my god, hyung, I am so sorry, I …”

The dance leader whirled around to rush to their leader, apologetic. In his haste he didn’t notice that Seungkwan, who had been closest to him, was opening his water bottle and collided with him. Water sprayed everywhere, soaking both of them in it.

“Hyung”, Seungkwan yelled in shock, his face and hair positively dripping. “Can you stop being so clumsy? You are worse than Mingyu-hyung!”

“I …”, Hoshi started but Mingyu cut in, exploding: “No! Enough! I am tired of you all making jokes about how clumsy I am. Haha, funny. I get it. Big bumbling idiot or whatever. At least he’s pretty. I am so done with these jokes!” Apparently he had reached his end too, now that everything had escalated. 

“Well, if it bothered you that much you should have said something”, Wonwoo, surprisingly, replied loudly.

None of the members seemed to be even close to wanting to talk about their issues, instead choosing to lash out now that the volcano had erupted. Family had turned into enemies.

It’s too late. They were broken. Was there enough gold to fill the cracks in the china plate to repair it now?

Seungcheol took a step back, as the group started taking steps forwards. It was so out of control. Where was the love they shared, the kindness they shared? If one had asked a few days ago if he believed his member capable of actual physical fights he would have laughed and told them that that wouldn’t happen. Right now he was afraid that fists would start flying any second. The room had become a battlefield of insults and wounded pride.

The voices went louder and louder, rising like a wave that swallowed them all. The angry faces, the anger and hate in their voices. It felt like slow motion, a nightmare. And Seungcheol was helpless to watch as they fell apart. 

Seungkwan, still dripping, was up in Mingyu’s face, on his tiptoes while Jun’s grip on Jeonghan was a bit too tight for comfort. Vernon was red in the face, Minghao was so angry. Dino had his hands raised as he and Seokmin yelled at each other. Wonwoo was glowering at them all, giving dry, harsh comments, lashing out for once. A cacophony of voices blended into each other, making words ununderstandable.

Joshua and Hoshi were in the middle of it all, trying to break it up. As Hoshi darted around and physically placed himself between fighting parties, Joshua was patting back and whispering calming words, trying to pull members away from fights. All the while Seungcheol was frozen in place. Nothing would be able to stop them now.

And yet, a tiny sound did. It wasn’t loud, it wasn’t dramatic.

Just a small gasp, nearly swallowed by the raised voices. But it made Seungcheol’s blood run cold. The members froze, turned, horror on all their faces. 

Stumbled a few steps behind Seungcheol stood Woozi, tiny in relation to the angry mob of members.

And he was crying.

All 13 parts of my heart V

Masterlist links: Fairy's Full Masterlist Fairy's Masterlist - SEVENTEEN

[darl-ingfics]

Cowboys Cry Too (Part 3)

Fandom: Seventeen

Sickie: S.Coups (torn ACL)

Caregiver(s): Seventeen (Hip Hop Unit focus)

Word Count: 1,792

Notes: Fictionalized account of the weeks following Seungcheol's injury last year. As someone with chronic knee problems, I felt the need to explore it at least once.

Part 1 (RM) | Part 2 (Onew) | Part 4 (Hongjoong) | Part 5 (Suho)

It was the worst pain he’d felt in his entire life. It was supposed to be a simple game, a fun little shoot Carats would get a kick out of. Until all of the sudden, it wasn’t.

All he’d done was jump for the ball. Jumped to keep the other team from scoring. Jumped for a little extra dramatic flair.

Then he’d landed. Landed in the exact one in a million way that broke him. 

Seungcheol didn’t remember much after that. He shrugged it off as a survival instinct; his brain didn’t want him to remember the shock on his friends’ faces, the pain and fear of the paramedic rushing him off the field, the bustle and dead waiting time and medical jargon at the hospital. But he vividly remembered the diagnosis. ACL tear. Eight to nine month recovery. Health hiatus. 

He’d asked the appropriate questions, listened intently, thanked the medical staff profusely for their quick and expert care. He’d also waited for the doctors to leave the room to cry. The manager who’d been staying with him in the hospital had also respectfully stepped out of the room, allowing the leader at least the pretense of privacy to break down, something Seungcheol would be thanking him for later. Fortunately, though, Seungcheol wasn’t alone; his mother had made it to him by then, the one person who he never had to perform for. She’d held him, rocking them back and forth, whispering sweet nothings to him as his body released all the fear and tension and anger and frustration and despair of the last day or so. 

And then he’d gone home. With his mom. To his parents, who had the free time to help him during those early days where the pain was still excruciating. 

A week later, Seungcheol returned to the dorm. To his brothers. A move his mom had been hesitant to allow, knowing intuitively how much pain her son was in and how dependent on others this injury rendered him. She knew her son; he hated asking for help, hated being helped even when he needed it. But Seungcheol insisted. He needed to be home with his friends.

And they needed him. In fact, when Seungcheol returned, they’d prepared a party. He should have excepted it, but the thought and effort brought tears to his eyes all the same. From the handwritten ‘Welcome Home, Dad!” banner strung up in the living room, red and white balloons taped around it, to the ridiculous amount of snacks, to the board games chosen specifically because they could be played sitting down, everything spoke to how much Seungcheol had been missed. And how much he was loved. 

“Hey, hey, no tears,” Soonyoung had chided, seeing the leader’s reaction. He moved forward, gently swiping at the leader’s eyes with the sleeves of his sweater. “This is happy times.”

“You can cry cause you’re happy,” Seungcheol replied, voice thick with the still-impending tears. 

“Then no crying because if you cry, I’ll cry, and I didn’t drink enough water today and can’t risk dehydration,” Soonyoung challenged, cradling Seungcheol’s cheeks before maneuvering around the leader’s wheel chair to push him further into the party. To the waiting smiles of his brothers. 

Brothers who proved to be exceedingly overbearing in the following days. Just as his mom had predicted. 

They had planned a schedule so that Seungcheol would never be home alone. Sometimes it was full units off for a day, others just one member. But no matter how many, whoever had been assigned as ‘caretaker’ that day felt to Seungcheol more like an overenthusiastic babysitter. 

They didn’t let him do anything. He had crutches for a reason, and had told them as much several times. Still, they refused to let him lift a finger without their help. Seungkwan brought him his meals on the couch, hesitant for him to even move to the table to eat with the rest of the group. Jun had started eating in the living room with him, Hansol joining too, and the two of them would take his dishes at the end of the meal. Mingyu or Wonwoo hovered close to the bathroom door when he was in the shower, asking him to leave it open just a crack in case he fell or needed help. Joshua had taken over his laundry. Seokmin would sit with him while Seungcheol was getting ready in the morning or for bed, forcing him to sit and offering to help with the steps that required him to stand. 

The followed him around, watching him like hawks, constantly waiting for him to need their help, to fall apart. They were holding him with kid gloves, like a priceless antique that could shatter if not handled properly. It made Seungcheol feel smothered, infantilized, patronized. And the feeling was suffocating, a permanent weight in his stomach and lump in his throat. 

The worst was the aching loneliness of it all. Seungcheol was forbidden to move from the couch, even when the rest of the group was off in different parts of the dorm. Sure, he was never left truly alone, but it felt to him like whoever had stayed behind did so out of duty rather than actually wanting his company. The worst was when everyone else got to go to schedules. Whether rehearsals, writing sessions, photoshoots, or anything in between, Seungcheol’s heart broke a bit more each time the door closed without him, each time his brothers’ voices faded down the hall. It broke again when they all came back, laughing and chattering about all of the memories they’d made that day that Seungcheol would never be part of. Sure, they’d summarize it for him, keep him in the loop as best they could with videos and reenactments. But it wasn’t the same. 

When he asked Chan to see some videos of their choreography, the maknae physically hesitated. Of course Chan had said he didn’t want to make the leader sad, knowing how limited his current movement was; there was a legitimate, heartfelt reason behind that hesitation. But it stung all the same. 

Soonyoung and Jihoon gave him summarized versions of their schedules, upcoming events, and company happenings. They did it to lessen the burden on him. But Seungcheol felt useless, as if he was absolutely superfluous to the project. 

It made him feel helpless. Out of control. 

And one day, almost a week after Seungcheol’s return, all of these thoughts that had been looming in his head like a raging storm reached a fever pitch. 

“Hey hyung!” Mingyu’s bright voice filtered through the dark clouds for a single second. Seungcheol didn’t look up as his fellow rapper collapsed onto the other end of the couch. Mingyu was smiling at him, but Seungcheol wasn’t looking. Today’s ‘babysitters’ were the rest of the hip hop unit; Wonwoo was currently making lunch for the foursome while Hansol was sat on the armchair opposite Seungcheol, playing a video game. The leader had been watching intently, but his thoughts had escaped him. “How’s it going, Sol?”

“Good. Making progress.” Hansol didn’t look at Mingyu either, fingers tapping away at the controller as he was engaged in some sort of battle at the moment. 

Mingyu didn’t mind, instead shifting his attention back to Seungcheol. His hand gently pressed against the leader’s ankle, the one on his good leg. “And how’re you?”

Mingyu’s voice was so tender, so affectionate, so fucking kind that something snapped. 

“I hate this…”

Mingyu frowned. “What…?” But Seungcheol cut him off, lips trembling as he covered his face in his hands. “Oh, sweetheart,” Mingyu cooed, pulling Seungcheol to his chest as the first sob ripped from his throat. 

Seungcheol could count on one hand the number of times he’d sobbed like this. His entire body shook as all of the pain, the frustration, the loneliness he’d felt poured out of his body. It didn’t occur to him once to be embarrassed of the wailing sounds emitting from his throat, or the fact that he was definitely ruining Mingyu’s shirt with the amount of tears and snot pouring from his face. 

But it also hadn’t occurred to him that Mingyu had been the one to pull Seungcheol’s hands away from his face so that he could press the leader closer to his heart in hopes that it would soothe him. He didn’t notice Hansol pause his game and rush to join the hug. He didn’t notice Wonwoo abandon the kitchen to do the same. Mingyu rocked them back and forth ever so slightly. None of them said a single word, simply letting their oldest brother cry it out. Sometimes, that did more than any amount of words. 

Seungcheol had no idea how long it took for his eyes to stop producing tears. How long  it took his body to stop shaking. How long it took for his soul to go quiet. But even after the sobs had turned to whimpers and then silence, Mingyu kept rocking them. Wonwoo and Hansol didn’t let go. They stayed there, holding each other. 

“Did that help?” Hansol whispered eventually. 

Seungcheol nodded against Mingyu’s chest. “Yeah. It helped a lot.”

“Damn, maybe I should’ve asked how were doing earlier then,” Mingyu joked as his fingers played with the hair at the nape of the leader’s neck. His voice was light, tender, as it had been before. But this time, it filled Seungcheol with joy rather than despair. “Could’ve saved us some trouble.”

“Could’ve saved your shirt too.” Seungcheol sniffled, rubbing his wrist against his nose as he pulled away from Mingyu. Wonwoo was already holding a box of tissues out to him, which Seungcheol accepted gratefully.

Mingyu shrugged it off. “I feel like I owe you a few ruined shirts at this point.”

“Remember when he bled all over you last month?” Hansol spoke up. “After the thorn bush incident? Or when he threw up on you after that carnival ride…?”

“YAH! Why do you always have to bring that up?” Mingyu exclaimed as Wonwoo and Seungcheol laughed. Hansol smirked deviously. “You want me to keep bringing up YOUR most embarrassing moments? Remember that time when…”

As Mingyu and Hansol got lost in their bickering, Wonwoo rested his head on the leader’s shoulder. “Please talk to us, okay?” 

Seungcheol rested his head on top of Wonwoo’s. “Okay.”

“We know things are really tough for you right now, but we can’t read your mind. If you need something, you have to tell us.” Seungcheol opened his mouth to reply, but Wonwoo continued, “And if we’re too much, just say so. We’ve never dealt with this before either. It’s okay to be sad, but you don’t need to be so sad, okay?”

Seungcheol smiled. “Okay.”

[just-whump-and-suffering]

B.A.P - Skydive

Daehyun 😢

[whump-lover-and-reader]

Riwoo in BOYNEXTDOOR's 'But Sometimes' official MV teaser

[wellthisissomething]

A.C.E (에이스) - 선인장 (CACTUS)

Whumpy Moments in Music Videos 1/?

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