#whoever was designing her understood something:

[goldensunset]

complimenting oneself may be bad form but i am really liking my icon

[bluewxrld07]

Glamourous (Jack Hughes)

Summary: Jack surprises his girlfriend whom is walking the VS Fashion show for the first time ever

Jack Hughes X Victoriassecretmodel!reader

Warning(s): None just a cutesie one :)

To say that this week was a big week in Y/N's career would be an understatement. It was the one that would jumpstart her entire career..

She wanted to be the voice for every girl whoever felt as if they felt like they couldn't follow their dreams because someone said it was silly.

Fuck that. That's always been a joke in her eyes.

The day she was asked if she wanted to earn her pair of wings was the day she knew it was a door opening for opportunity. The blood, sweat and tears she had put into making her way up would finally come to be worth the next step she was leveling into.

Now she wasn't supermodel skinny, in which she had always felt nervous with her body type when modeling. Yet she had pushed herself out of that mindset, and fell more in love with herself as time went on.

There was only one other person she could thank for that. That was Jack.

Ever since Y/N and Jack had met at a Fashion Week Gala event in New York, sparks flew and Jack was mesmerized by the girl in front of him.

He had to know her. He had to talk to her. Anything he could do to breathe in the same room as her.

When they finally started seeing each other, things accelerated pretty smoothly. He fell first and she fell harder type of deal. Jack fell harder too.

The pair became so infatuated with one another, it felt as if you wouldn't be able to separate them with the strongest force possible.

When things got harder, Jack would see her softer side. The way she treated her body when she would get denied to certain shows after working so hard to impress or tryout for them.

It was after the first time Jack had seen her in tears, he vowed to himself that she would never look at herself in a negative way ever again. Not as long as he existed.

The more and more Jack showed Y/N, the more she began to accept and love herself.

The way her curves became more prominent in certain dresses, or how her breasts looked like heaven in a bikini. Jack loved every second of it, and it made Y/N love him and herself more.

It was the way that after she began to feel herself more, people around her noticed. They saw how she held herself.

Fashion designers and their workers could see the confidence and power that radiated off of her when she came to tryout and give it her all. It began to increase the amount of callbacks she had.

When she got the phone call from her agent about them dying to have her come walk for Victoria's Secret, she was ecstatic. It had been something she dreamt of since she was just a seven year-old girl watching Adrianna Lima, Heidi Klum, or Tyra Banks walk that glittery runway.

So now here she stood, finalizing her look as she would be the one opening the show.

Unfortunately Jack wouldn't be there, as he had a Hockey charity event to host with Nico but would have it going on his phone as he didn't want to miss a single thing.

The two always understood when their jobs came first some moments, and she would never hold it against him as he has always been there for every single event she walked. She also knew how stressful this event made Jack, and did not want him to stress about adding this to the night as well.

Before she had gotten dressed she had shown him the outfit hanging up, not letting him see it on her just yet, as she wanted to hear about his reaction when she walk out on the runway afterward.

She wore a black-laced bra that had rhinestones all along the top going into the valley of her breasts, a strap wrapping around just underneath the wireline with rhinestones all along it. The shoulder straps had delicate lacework on them, the pattern matching the pair of black Brazilian lace panties she wore below with a little bow in the front.

She had a see-through cape that faded from black to a pretty dark blue with little stars on it, her angel wings all black and sparkly. They had rhinestones all over, some star rhinestones to match the cape.

Her shoes were her favorite part. They were thigh-high, all black in a velvet material with jewels all over them, some were encrusted to look like stars, and while some hung and jingled around the boots.

"I'm so nervous!" she giggles, watching her stylist smile.

"Don't be. You're going to do so great, I cannot wait to see you rock that damn stage." she says, making Y/N smile wider. Her stylist was finishing up her makeup, touching up her curls as well as they counted down to the start of the fun night.

The lights grew dark, the audience cheering as things began.

Y/N rushed over towards her spot on the rising platform, making sure she didn't hit her head. She took deep breaths as she waited for the queue, getting into her stance.

Soon enough she began to rise up, smoke being seen around the spot she would rise onto. Hands on her hips as she kept her head looking over to the side and zoned in.

The audience grew louder as she felt the spotlight on her skin, a small smile growing onto her face.

Once she was fully risen onto the runway she turns her head and throws on a big and excited smile. Just when the beat drops she begins walking to the beat perfectly, confidence radiating off of her every step.

She sang along to the song while making seductive faces, doing small little dances and pointing to some familiar faces in the crowd.

When she turns her head towards the left side of the crowd halfway down the runway, she does a double-take after seeing an all too familiar face and hearing a familiar scream out towards her.

There Jack was, stood up in his seat clapping and rooting for her. His eyes not being to stop looking at any part of her he could see.

Y/N's smile goes ear to ear as she walks, her eyes never leaving his before blowing a kiss and a wink his way. Jack bites his lip and runs his hands through his hair. She sees him turn over to one of his buddies and point at her yelling 'that's my girl!', Y/N laughs as she turns her gaze back to the camera that's in front of her.

She stops at the front of the runway, kissing both of her hands before drawing a heart in the air and smiling at the camera before turning back around and strutting back.

Jack's eyes never left her figure as she walked back down the runway. He couldn't have felt more proud in that moment than he already did. The way the outfit accented her entire body, he knew was so smitten.

Or whipped as the boys called him.

He knew she was so excited to see he was there, it was something he would never miss. No matter what was at stake, he would be there for her biggest career debut.

He didn't want to tell her that he pulled a few strings and moved the event to the day before just so he and his buddies could come support her, as he wanted it to be a big surprise for her.

He loved seeing how confident and fierce she held herself as she opened the biggest fashion show in history, watching how much she loved doing what she was doing.

He thought that she would only be opening, and was not aware that she would be walking not only once, but three different times during that show. He was astonished as he saw her come out later in the show wearing a different set this time.

This one he might have to ask her to bring back home, because his pants felt tighter as he watched her move in the bright red lingerie set.

The heals she wore this time were strapped stilettos with red ribbon as the straps. The lingerie set matching the heels; her panties were a silk fabric that sat in a lower Brazilian cut with a silk red ribbon garter on her torso with two ribbon straps that were clipped to her skin-colored tights, her bra silky red with a see-through lace padding and a pair of red laced gloves that went up to her elbows.

Her hair was done in a blowout style, a bright red lip supporting her lips as she smiled and held hands with the artist singing while they walked together.

Jack jumps up and cheers for her like his favorite team just scored a goal. "Bro if you don't put a ring on that!" Nico jokes, his girlfriend agreeing as she whistles out for Y/N.

Jack just holds his hand to his chest and stands as she walks. Y/N's eyes meet his and she decides to throw her hands under her boobs and push them up a little in a playful manner before looking back towards the front of her, Jack biting his lip as he knows what's she's doing.

Her finally outfit had been a more intimate wear. It was the iconic Victoria's Secret pink color lace bodysuit, a giant pair of pink and gold wings adorning her shoulders with a pair of sparkly thigh-high pink boots.

Once the show was finished, Jack and his crew were escorted towards backstage to go see and meet up with Y/N.

When Jack had found her, he smiled as he saw his girl in her normal state.

Her hair was up in a messy pony, a pair of loose fitted jeans and his sweatshirt on her body. She was talking with a couple of the other models before her eyes saw them, soon hugging the girls before padding her bare feet over towards Jack.

Y/N lets out an excited squeak as she jumps into Jack's arms, the boy immediately hugging her tight and spinning her around before setting her onto her feet and grabbing her face.

"You came!" she squeals, and he chuckles.

"Of course I did, I would never miss your biggest show."

"Well I just knew you had your event, I didn't want to pressure you-"

"Y/N he had been planning to pull strings to make it to this since you had gotten the phone call." Nico laughs, making her look at Jack.

"I hadn't even been fully accepted by that point." she says.

Jack shrugs with a smug smirk. "Call it a gut feeling." he says, earning a smack to his chest.

She laughs and finally pushes her lips to his. "You did so amazing, my love. I am so proud of you." Jack says against her lips.

Her lips pull into a grin and she looks back at his eyes. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. You look liked you owned that stage. That you belonged up there. You were shining, pretty girl." Jack says.

"Jack could barely keep it in his pants." Dawson jokes, earning both a groan and look from Jack.

Y/N laughs as she goes and hugs everyone. "No need to out me, damn."

"It's alright J, glad I still make you feel that way." she jokes, earning a playful snort.

"Baby, all you have to do is look at me and I'm ready to go."

Y/N rolls her eyes and wraps her arms around him. "You not going to the after party?" he asks.

She shakes her head. "I truly just want to go home and get out of here. My social battery is good for the evening." she says, and he hums before pressing a kiss to her nose.

"Oh and I think you'll be happy to know that I get to take each outfit home."

Jack's eyes widened. "Well we better not waste any time getting home, shall we?" With that, the group was off and out of there.

Jack clutching the velvet box that sat in his suit pocket with a small smile.

[darknessawaits28]

The Day of The Jackal {Alexander Duggan x reader}

Hello, hello, hello my lovies! I'm sorry but I got obsessed with this show and have been watching it multiple times! So, I wanted to give you a mini short story of you and The Jackal together. It may be different from the original plot of the story but same concept. Hope you enjoy. Thank you lovies for all your love and support! Yall are awesome! :3 Smut and violence warning, viewer discretion advised.

After discovering the secrets that Alex kept from you for years, you sank into his chair by his desk. Never in a million years would you suspect your traveling salesman of a husband would have such instrument of destruction. Quickly rising from his chair, you heard your phone buzzing, knowing for a fact it was him.

"Hello?" you whispered cautiously into your phone when you placed it close to your ear.

"Hey honey, I am so sorry that I didn't call you back, there was a slight problem in the job in Munich."

"Oh, okay, are you coming home now?"

"Yes I am my love, hopefully they don't call me back again." "Are you alright?" Alex questioned with worry laced in his voice.

"Y-Yes I-I'm fine...I...just....come home please" You gulped slightly.

Alex furrowed his brows at your response, noticing you gulping and the way you were speaking...something was definitely wrong. "I'll be there shortly, love you."

"Love you too" you said coldly, the word 'love you' not having meaning to you anymore.

A deep sigh escaped your voice as you walked out of his office and down the halls of your expensive Spanish home, wondering how you were going to explain this whole ordeal to your family. You knew how much they did not trust Alex with his comings and goings, but you always brushed them off, saying they were jealous of how much money he made and how you were being treated like royalty. But at this very moment, you feel a tremendous amount of regret for not listening to them sooner.

"Hijo de la gran puta" you murmured underneath your breathe, until you felt something hard against the back of your skull. ((Spanish Translation: Son of a bitch))

"Easy now dear, you're going to turn around slowly for me" A rough voice spoke from behind you.

"O-Okay..." you nodded, slowly turning around, not wanting to upset whoever this man was. When you faced the man, you noticed they were in black out clothing and full of weapons that seemed similar to your husband's.

"There ya go, now, where is the Jackal?"

"Who?"

"Don't play games with me bitch, where is the jackal, the assassin that took out the German politician Manfred Fest and his son Elias."

"I-I seriously don't know who you're talking about?" you gulped, hoping to god that whoever this assassin was, was not your husband.

The man growled in anger and annoyance, using the back of his gun to hit you in the face, instantly causing you to fall onto the floor in pain. "Last chance, where is the Jackal?"

You winced in pain, touching your nose to see that you were bleeding, "And I told you, I don't know!"

"Boss, do we kill this girl, she keeps saying that she doesn't know the jackal?" the man used his radio to contact his partner.

"No Damion, maybe we can use her as bait, he'll come for her" the other man spoke through the radio.

"Alright" Damion smirked as he grabbed you violently by your hair and began to drag you across the hall.

"Ah, stop it, let go!" you pleaded, trying to struggle your way out of his grip.

"I love it when you girls struggle" Damion laughed, releasing you and then roughly picking you up over his shoulder to head downstairs.

"Listen up men, I know the jackal will be arriving soon, I want you all to take your positions in each corner of this house and outside as well." "And I swear to god, if you fuck up, you'll be hearing from the butcher." "Understood!?" the boss yelled to his squad of men.

"Understood sir" the group of men shouted in agreeance to their boss, quickly taking their designated positions around the house and outside.

"Let me go you pendejo!" You slammed your fist onto Damion's back, but stopped when you felt his hand slightly grab your ass. ((Spanish translation: stupid))

"Mm, you got a nice ass, I wonder if the Jackal popped your cherry yet, because you seem so uptight I'm pretty sure you're a virgin still" he huffed, slamming you onto your living room couch and grabbed duct tape from his pack. "Now, you're going to be a good little girl or I will punish you."

"Fuck you!" you spit in his face.

Damion shut his eyes the minute he felt saliva spray his face, "Ugh...you fucking bitch" he growled, wiping his face with his glove and then slapping the living shit out of you. "Next time, I'll slap you harder" he warned you, pushing your face into the couch as he began to tie your hands and legs together.

As you laid there, tears began to overflow your eyes, wishing that Alex would've never met nor married you.

"Aww are you crying, did I hurt you that badly?" Damion mocked you when he pulled you up by your hair.

"Ah....go to hell" you breathed out with pain laced in your voice.

"That's where the Jackal is going" he laughed deviously, grabbing the another piece of tape to cover your mouth. "See you in a few minutes."

The minute Damion disappeared, you tried to wrestle free from the tape that was tied around your hands and legs, but your efforts proved to be in vain.

Meanwhile, Alex continued driving down the road, wondering what was wrong with you. You've never sounded like that in all these years, well, once when he forgot about your birthday, but this was different. A deep sigh escaped his lips as he shifted the gear of his car, going slightly faster. Within seconds, he was pulling up to the house, making sure to shut off the lights to his car to not announce his arrival. Once he put his car in park and shut it off, he slowly turned his head to view the house, noticing that something was off, something that only an army trained man could notice.

Casually grabbing his things, he made sure to have his gun loaded and ready for use in case someone tried to attack him. As silent as he could, he stepped out of his car, and headed inside, making sure to analyze his surroundings. As he finally reached the doors, he opened it, stepping inside and setting his bag down by the chair.

Upon hearing the door open, your eyes widened, quickly struggling to sit up, "Mm, mm!" You tried to shout for Alex.

Alex's ears pricked up at the sound of a muffled voice, his heart beginning to race as he held his gun close to him.

"Mmm mmm!" you cried out, hearing footsteps coming closer.

Alex quickly rushed into the living room, gasping at the sight of you tied up on the couch. "Y/n?" he questioned, quickly dodging a knife that came swinging at him.

"Argh, come on ya bastard!" Damion growled as he tried to stab Alex.

Alex continued to dodge the knife, putting his gun in his pocket and began to punch the man, trying with all his might to get the knife out of his hand.

"You have a sweet girl there, I can't wait to fuck her when we're done killing you" Damion snickered as he struggled to slam the knife into him.

Alex, hearing his disgusting words, brought a seething rage within him, using his legs to kick him in the groin and grab the knife from him. Within an instant, he jabbed the knife into his chest, making sure to jam it deep within so he could feel the intense pain. "Fuck, you" he growled, pushing the man away from him and then rushing to your aid.

"Oh my love, are you okay" he said as he grabbed another knife that he conveniently had in his other pocket and began to cut your restraints.

When he finally pulled off the tape from your mouth, all you could do was burst into tears, "Alex, y-you can't be here...t-they're all over the place...they're going to kill you!" you worriedly spoke, completely forgetting about the fact that you were mad at him about the secrets he kept from you and the amount of weapons he had tucked away in his closet.

"Don't worry about me" he looked deep into your eyes, cupping your cheeks, noticing the bruises and the blood that littered your face. "Did he hurt you?"

"Well, he slapped me around and...hit me with his gun but I'll be okay" you truthfully told him.

"Those bastards" he growled, pulling you into a hug, hoping to calm you down slightly by his embrace. "I need you to do me a favor?" he asked as he pulled away from the hug.

"What?"

"Go into our bedroom, lock the door, and hide in our closet, I'm going to finish them off."

"Wait Alex!" You tugged at his arm.

"I'll be careful okay, go now" he smiled softly, pulling you into a deep kiss and then went about to find those bastards.

An hour had passed, your body shivering in worry and fear about Alex. He went off to fight a literal army out there, there's no possible way he could've survived. Ignoring the fact that he told you to hide in the closet, you opened the doors, trying to see where he was and if he was okay. "Alex?" you whispered, sneaking towards the bedroom door and then opening it up a crack. A loud gasp rang from your lips when you saw him walking down the hall, covered in dirt, blood, and the occasional cuts and bruises.

"Alex!" you shouted his name again, opening the door wide and rushing into his arms.

"Heh, told you I'd be alright" he smiled when you came charging towards him.

"Cabron, you lied to me" you growled, slapping him viciously across the face.

Taken aback by the sudden slap, he narrowed his eyes in curiosity. "What did I lie to you about y/n?" he questioned with confusion.

"You had weapons, cash, and who knows what else hidden in that closet of yours." "And now these men show up at our house, demanding to know where this Jackal guy is, and almost killed me and you." "Who are you really Alex?" "You can't be a traveling salesman or whatever the fuck you claim to be!" you shouted, clearly traumatized by what transpired an hour ago.

Alex sighed angrily at this sudden interest, "You went through my closet?"

"I did....because I thought you and I had no secrets." "But clearly I was wrong." "Who.are.you?" you spoke again with venom laced in your voice.

Alex towered over you like an animal in heat, preparing himself to tell you his true identity. "I'm...I'm an assassin and....kill people for money."

Your heart sank at the sudden information that was laid on you, "Y-You're a what?"

"I kill people for money, is that what you want to fucking hear!" Alex shouted in anger.

You jumped back at his yell, tears overflowing your eyes again as Alex's true self was slowly starting to show. "I-I don't know who you are anymore Alex" you breathed out in fear, turning around and rushing into your bedroom, slamming the door in the process.

Alex rubbed his head in frustration, hating how he snapped at you due to the tremendous amount of stress he was already in. "Y/n please, I-I'm sorry...I didn't mean to yell at you" he spoke from behind the door. "My love please" he spoke again, trying to get you to talk to him. As he grabbed the doorknob, he noticed it was locked, another wave of anger filling him. "Open the door y/n."

"Go away" you shouted at him as you sat in the corner, your knees pulled close to your chest.

"Open....the goddamn door y/n" Alex angrily ordered.

"Mentiroso de mierda!" "Lejate de mi!" ((English translation: You lying sack of shit, get away from me!))

Without warning, Alex kicked the door open, stomping his way in and towards you.

"No, no!" you gasped, covering your face in fear.

Alex quickly grabbed you, picking you up bridal style and then slamming you onto the bed.

"Let go of me!" you screamed, trying to get away from this murderer.

"Stop it, stop!" Alex demanded, grabbing both of your hands and pushing them above your head, his face inches away from your own. "Look at me."

"Why should I look at a murderer?" you growled.

Hurt by your words, he held your wrists with his left and grabbed your face with his right, forcing you to look at him. "Do you know how much I love you?" "How I do this job for you?" "I do this so I could provide for you." "To make your life happy as possible." "I know the struggle you've had before, I know how your family is." "All I wanted to do was to live a life of happiness with you my love" he sighed, pressing his head gently against your own.

Hearing those words brought an ache to your heart. He always had a way with words, but you couldn't give in, not after the secrets he held from you nor the trauma you just endured. "You don't love me."

"I do love you, I love you with all my heart" he breathed out softly, leaning down towards your neck and pressed gentle kisses against it.

"Ah, t-then you'll stop....if you love me you'll stop this and live quietly with me" you pleaded with him.

"Okay, I promise." "I just got one more job, and I will be finished, sound alright to you?"

Hating that he had one more job to complete, you nodded, simply because you wanted to be with your husband and live in peace; not live in a life of fear and having to look over your shoulder for the rest of your life.

A small smile peered across his lips as released your wrists, sitting up slightly to remove his shredded and bloody stained shirt.

"You look hurt, do you want me to get the first aid kit?"

"No."

"But you're bleeding, let me at least get a towel to stop it."

"No" he breathed out more deeply, slowly hovering over you and grasping your cheek. "All I want to do is make love to my wife."

"Alex I don't think this is the right time" you moaned softly when he pulled you into another deep kiss, your body beginning to melt at his touch.

"Y/n" he moaned against your lips, his groin grinding against your pants.

"Alex" you pulled away from the kiss, pushing him back gently to remove your shirt.

As he watched you strip in front of him, he did the same, unbuckling his pants and removing the rest of his bloody stained clothing.

In an instant of passion and love, he slammed his cock within you, letting out a breathe of pleasure against your ear. "Does that feel good?"

"Yes, yes, it feels so good Alex" you cried out, wrapping your arms around him.

Alex let out a slight chuckle at how eager you sounded. "Good" he hummed, beginning to move his hips, his cock slamming within you.

"Alex, Alex" You moaned happily, moving your head a bit to devour his lips.

Alex groaned hungrily, devouring your lips as well, his hips having a mind of their own as he fucked you raw and hard. He knew that by the end of this he would have to leave you. It pained him, but he had a job to finish, and he had to see it through to the end.

After all, he was The Jackal.

[akutasoda]

i saw requests are reopening!! if it's not too much trouble, could i ask for ranpo, yosano & whoever else with a reader who has bad insomnia and can't sleep?

thank you ^^

sleepless nights with you

synopsis - how are they when you have insomnia

includes - ranpo, yosano, fyodor

warnings - gn!reader, reader has insomnia..., fluff, wc - 530

a/n: it's actually very ironic you sent this request as i currently have insomnia- had it for two weeks now rrr not fun :(

ranpo edogawa ★↷

↪for the greatest detective in the world, he wouldn't exactly know how to help with insomnia. all his ideas were what he would do and that probably wouldn't help you much. so he does turn to get advice from yosano.

↪his initial reaction would be to scoff at her advice. ranpo understood that you should adhere to her words but having scheduled bedtimes and such seemed boring. but it wasn't for him, it was for you. and he wanted you to cure your insomnia as quickly as possible.

↪naturally ranpo would help you as much as he could. he kept your room dark, he made sure it was as comfortable as possible - he enjoyed that the most as ranpo quite liked how comfy your room had begun, the perfect place to cuddle up with you.

↪yosano's suggested bedtimes went largely ignored by him, and you as a result. but every night without fail, ranpo always was beside you. talking with you, eating sweets and such. helping you drift off slowly but surely.

akiko yosano ★↷

↪as the agency's designated physician/doctor, she would be the best person to go to for any issue. from simple colds to serious injuries, she would always heal them for her coworkers and especially you. although insomnia isn't exactly something that can be cured in similar ways.

↪fortunately, she was still well versed in methods that could help you - making sure your room is dark and quiet, your surroundings are comfortable, following bedtime routines etc.

↪and yosano could make sure to enforce it with you. it wasn't that she was trying to be mean or anything, yosano just wanted to help cure your insomnia as quickly as possible as it definitely wasn't something you wanted.

↪she'd help set up your room to be darker and make sure it was comfortable. she'd talk to you and help keep your mind off things to then hopefully see you get tired quicker. yosano would even enforce a regular bedtime to make sure that even if you had a rough night, you got a decent amount of sleep.

fyodor dostoevsky ★↷

↪it would probably be safe to assume that he has had quite a few run ins with insomnia himself - or at least something similar. so when you approached him about your insomnia, he definitely could give you some advice (and help you enforce the ways put in place to help you)

↪he'd start insisting you go to bed earlier and he would make sure of it. fyodor wasn't being mean about it, he just wanted you to cure your insomnia as quick as possible - he would excuse all your grumbling and complaints at first.

↪fyodor also built up a habit of bringing you tea or whatever drink you'd prefer, as long as it was sensible, to then sit with you until you fell asleep before returning to work. it didn't matter if you got up again as he would just help you go back to sleep.

taglist - @little-miss-chaoss, @vi-chan07

[mutfruit-salad]

read your criticism and have a genuine question about your thoughts on the branding scene. i completely understand how max's branding is inherently tied to a racist history, and it always will be, but i dont feel like the scene itself was written with that bias/intent. thaddeus also gets branded in later episodes and it's implied to happen to every aspirant upon their promotion. at what point in writing are black characters morally barred from specific story points because of their similarities to a history that's not directly related? sort of similar with barb, at what point can black characters not do bad things at all, especially in a story where there are near a dozen non-black characters who do worse things? also considering it's implied (at least, i understood it as) she's sticking to vault-tec to protect her family?

I am not in the best position to comment on this, because I am not black. I will do my best to add what I can, but this is a space for others to chime in.

Barb is interesting because she's essentially become the person who did the most heinous crime in the entire setting- by far and away worse than anything anyone has ever done. There really aren't white characters who did worse things- because all the crimes of Caesar or the Enclave or whoever else pale in comparison to being the one who literally set into motion the total annihilation of all nations on Earth. (This is setting aside her willing participation in the inception of the vault experiments- which is an entirely separate also horrific crime.)

The issue is they've created a setting that is, as presented, colorblind. Race is invisible to the writers, who did not consider it meaningfully while producing the show- as is often the case with white creatives putting characters of color into their stories. Colorblindness does not always produce entirely racist results- and when done with tact and intentionality it can even be revolutionary. Look at the relative inclusivity of star trek as an example, and the radical depiction of Uhura in the original series.

The thing that makes Fallout different from Star Trek however is that it is not depicting its colorblind future with tact and intentionality. This is a show that is intensely concerned with depicting the specific brand of nationalistic American politics of the 1950s and the Cold War- and they've reproduced that system for the show but with a black woman at the head. That's where the issue comes up.

This was a system that had racism baked into it by design. It still does. American Nationalism and corporate violence are built on racism against black people and other minorities. And this show desperately wants to depict these things, but they've decided to put a black woman at the head of them. They're depicting systems that are, by their nature, violently racist- but they've decided to portray them as being run by a black housewife.

Fallout 3 does a similar thing with how it depicts every major slaver as a black person. Eulogy Jones, the slave buyer at Paradise Falls, the head slaver in the Abe Lincoln memorial, Ashur in The Pitt. Hell Mothership Zeta adds in a black woman from the wasteland and even SHE'S revealed to have been a slaver. This is something Bethesda consistently does- depicting ideologies and practices with a deep history of racialized violence- and then showing black people at the head of them, seemingly to try to avoid actually addressing any aspect of racism in their stories outside of hamfisted metaphors like synths and ghouls. (I use Fallout 3 as an example but Fallout 4 does many of these same things.)

Thaddeus does also get branded, and he does also get treated to the same demeaning servanthood as Maximus. The difference, quite frankly, is that Thaddeus is white. There are just some things that are straight up inappropriate to depict happening to black characters without appropriate thoughtfulness and context. Never before this series has the Brotherhood ever done brandings- and yet this show opens with it in the first episode and introduces this brand new jarring concept with the visceral image of a black man being branded by faceless fascist cultists.

It's also important to note that even if they didn't intend the scene as racist, it still is. Like I don't think the scriptwriter sat down and said "oh I'm gonna do a racism" cuz intent just doesn't matter here. The scene was intended as a way of showing the severity of the brotherhood- but it also thoughtlessly reproduces images of historic black violence.

@orange-coloredsky I know you've been talking about this stuff all day, and your initial posts about the antiblack racism in the series were what prompted me to write my thoughts today- which is what this ask is in response to. I was curious if you have any other input with all this.

I'd also be more than happy to have any additional input from people better suited to answer these questions.

[lxrd-ren]

Fuck it

NICO MASTERMIND THEORY, HEAR ME OUT

(Disclaimer this is not in any way like an extremely good theory like the Whit ones, but the more I thought about it the more it made some sort of sense; like more than you'd think)

Alright, just thought of this like 20 minutes ago when listening to a song. Thought 'Oh hey this reminds me of Nico' cause the song was about a girl who deleted her classmates as revenge for bullying her. She goes on to delete all of her classmates, aka, everyone.

I thought to myself, 'Huh, where have I heard that before'.

...

One of the main reasons we believe the killing game is happening in the first place is revenge for Mai, whether it's specifically targeted towards Teruko or the entire cast. I mean we got recent confirmation from MonoTV that the killing game is meant to go on until everyone is dead so it's hardly far-fetched.

Now, circle back to Nico, who tried to kill Ace, and by extension everyone else, out of revenge. Nico, who voiced how they would've understood Levi killing if he simply 'didn't like them'

Revenge is a big theme with Nico, pair that with a killing game that was started out of revenge and it doesn't seem all that far-fetched

HOLD ON THERES MORE I PROMISE

Moving onto another obvious one; MonoTV is a cat.

Nico is largely associated with cats from having cat-like hair, eyes, gloves, and a scratch that looks like it's from a cat. And even though their ultimate talent is to do with pets in-general, they seem to mention cats specifically a lot with telling Xander and Teruko a fact about cats, saying about how they'd rather be with their cats; hell even in the voice trailer they mention cats.

To conclude, whilst I don't think Nico designed MonoTV themselves, I think it's more MonoTV was built for or with them in mind

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NEXT

With the Mai page, everyone had a sentence that links both to Mai but also to themselves. Like Rose's mentioning memory.

They nearly all start off similar with either beginning with 'A girl' or 'She'. The ones that don't follow this trend stuck out to me. Namely, MonoTV's, Min's, Nico's and Teruko's.

Teruko and MonoTV being unique is expected, but Mins and Nicos being unique is a bit strange. As you've read the title of this post, I'm sure you could already guess I wanna talk about Nico's.

Now, 'Everyone confided in her'.

In connection to Mai, we can guess that she was friends with all of the cast, and as a result, knew personal things about them.

We also know that the mastermind knows these things also what with knowing Whit is a light sleeper and Hu's favourite brand of clothing.

From this, we can assume that either Mai is the mastermind, or Mai told the mastermind these things.

And then, quite randomly, Nico is paired up with this statement. Only reason I can think of as to why is because Nico is the one Mai told.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MOVING ON

This one's a bit of a stretch but stay with me

Above is Nicos secret quote. Now, we shall assume this quote will follow the trend of eventually being said by whoever it is paired up with. I get that this is already a likely thing for Nico to say regardless if they are the mastermind or not, but I think it makes more sense if Nico is the mastermind.

Alright, Nico starts the killing game out of revenge for Mai. Come Chapter 6 or something, Nico is revealed to be the mastermind. When explaining their reasoning for the killing game, they go on about how it's the casts / Terukos fault in the first place.

(If they are referring to the cast as a whole it makes sense as they refer to it as 'mistakes', multiple mistakes. Aka, more likely done between a group of people compared to just one.)

(If they are referring to Teruko it also makes sense because her real secret is theorised to be 'THE KILLING GAME IS ALL YOUR FAULT'.)

AKA, 'WHY SHOULD I TAKE THE FAULT FOR THE KILLING GAME WHEN YOU ARE THE ONE/S THAT MADE THOSE MISTAKES TOWARDS MAI IN THE FIRST PLACE'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AND IF THATS NOT ENOUGH, THERES ONE MORE THING

Above is the placements in the trial

Now, most of them seemingly don't have much significance except for Teruko + David being across from each other cause y'know, Protagonist vs Antagonist

Assume that Nico is the mastermind, aka the one who started the killing game in the first place.

Their placement is across from XANDER, THE ONE WHO WAS DETERMINDED TO END THE KILLING GAME

[ammyamarant]

Kamen Rider Gavv ep 1 thoughts

Just going to watch one episode right now because I need to finish Kabuto and I need to Know what Kabuto has up its sleeve. But, the tl;dr of Gavv: Cute show, I can see how traumatized this poor kid will get by the end

Gavv ep 1

okay so I’m already reminded of W. Wonder if there will be a mentor figure that dies like Soukichi does in the first fucking five minutes of W

oh neat doors. I’ve seen Labyrinth too.

jfc how old is this kid he looks baby

yeet out of a plane and the tinkly “oh this is the world mom is from” music lmao

lbr considering the environment you just escaped from and the way you were happy to be freefalling because you were where your mom is from, I think needing some food is understating it.

"what do you have? Do you eat it?" has the same energy as my "what is gender? do you eat it?" joke

WHAT IS YOUR BODY MADE OF

Karakida I want your jacket. Give

Ah you have no communication skills. Understood

"This isn't a monster case" "So what is it?" "Woman fucking killed her own husband and shh keep your fucking voice down"

"today's harvest" and it looks like bloody organs. Hey I've seen 12 Hour Shift too.

oh you've never been allowed actual food have you

oh goddamn it I can hear Apollo aiming the dodgeball already

my dude. you got a tummy ache then gave birth to something. human women would kill for that to be their normal gestation cycle.

mm, cgi is kinda……………………

"hey now I've been fed actual food and have real energy I can make minions" yeah I mean that makes sense. People get all kinds of bodily processes back once they've been properly fed. Usually takes a while for their body to recover but hey you ain't human so I get it

this kid is so sweet and kind giving obvious main character (yeah I know it's shouma) a place to stay and some sweets to eat.

oh right the street drugs WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT HENTAI ASS THING

oh it's just a mouth. Wicked teeth.

Shouma is such a sweetheart

Also ye, I can see why Shouma is enchanted by sweets if his mom never let him have any of the family drugs.

excuse me I need to figure out a way to get into this world and beat down this addict before he hurts this kid

Shouma I would like a full rundown of what you can do because was that super speed and running perpendicular on a vertical surface? My dude? Answers?

Mm, sick monster design

Yeah, the monster and the kid both being like "hey what the fuck" to Shouma is fucking hilarious.

oh fucking ow

your mom turned into a bloody organ thing. Are we sure this isn't just a horror movie?

I feel like these minion things showing up saying "eat gummy!" shouldn't feel as threatening as they do.

OH GOD THE CRYING EYES. I'M HOWLING

"oh with the other one" lmao

I wonder what this show is like on edibles because the bright colours are fun and I had a blast watching Ex-Aid baked. Tho I'd consider that a little too on the nose considering the street drug metaphor of those dark candies

little dudes go somewhere safe that isn't under the fighting feet!

oh interesting so if he gets a lot of battle damage he can repair it by using another minion. Very neat. Wish more "battle damage" was repairable that easily. Looking at you, 3rd Birthday.

oh calling both of them monsters and Shouma just taking it is heartbreaking.

I'm definitely feeling the difference between Takaiwa and whoever the suit actor for Gavv is, but it's more "huh, that's a different way of doing the stunts" than anything bad. I do miss Takaiwa but that's mostly because he's a fucking legend. This guy's doing great, tho.

did… they repurpose the build driver for this?

takaiwa usually stood upright, even for meek characters like Ryotaro, while it seems like this guy's default stance is hunched over. iiiiiiiiiiiiiinteresting. Says a lot about Shouma in this form

okay I was about to say this Rider Kick is lame, but nah, it's pretty good.

Shouma you are sunshine and joy wrapped in ptsd. That's not even a joke I know you're fucking riddled with ptsd from just your memories of your mother alone

Shouma you are not Eiji stop being a hobo

Cute show.

[coolgirl32]

Marriage HC p2

A/N: I know every one of you liked the first marriage HC so I decided to write another one and I'm hoping you all will enjoy this one and remember my requests are still open if anybody wants to make a request about these two scrumptious men I'm all ears.

They both made your wedding rings, silco made the design and Vander crafted rings and when they both propose to you you said yes to both of them.

You style their hair not just their hair but also the kids' hair as well word quickly got out that you were a good hairstylist one moment you were styling your family's hair the next you were styling half of the understood his hair of course you got paid for it but still you wish were didn't get out.

They both never forget any holidays or special occasions or anniversaries or birthdays but they sometimes forget their own that's why it is your job to make sure they don't forget their own birthday they have to be celebrated too.

They sometimes wonder if you three would be together in every universe (the answer is yes you three do end up together in every universe) eventually you wonder what goes on inside their sexy heads.

They know your favorite drink like the back of their hands you know their favorite drink as well.

If anything were to happen to you they probably go on a murderous rampage and kill whoever harmed you you do the same thing for them but you won't tell them that.

You Brighton up their day and the kids' day every single day as best you can he understudy is not a pretty place but with your beautiful smile and your positive attitude it makes a little bit better every single day.

They know your favorite music and you know their favorite music as well vander's favorite music is either rock and roll or something relaxing at the end of the day silco's favorite music is a little bit of smooth jazz and a bit of classical but he doesn't mind listening to rock music either your favorite music is most definitely something that is new or something that are old music like old songs that was back then that you all used to listen to as kids but you're not picky with what you listen to.

They are very curious on the friends you made either it's from topside or the undercity they don't mind but they want you to be happy and they want you to be safe as well and they support you no matter what you support them on their choice of friends as well you want them to be happy.

A/N: so I hope you all enjoy it and let me just tell all of you how scrumptious and sexy these men are I can't stop thinking of the song called figure you out that reminds me of both of these men like with the reader who just gotten through breaking up with her boyfriend I don't know let me know what you think of the song and the post I do not own the song it belongs to the songwriters called voila check them out and I do not own the characters from arcane the arcane creators owns arcane.

[isthatbloodonhisshirt]

WIP TAG GAME

Share one sentence/excerpt from your wip(s) that begins with each letter of your given word.

Thanks for the tag @teencopandthesourwolf, and way to call me out at the same time :P <3

My word is: CRUSH

C - Mafia fic I’ve been working on off and on for like, 3 years.

Clenching the strap of his messenger bag as he approached the Camaro, he glanced down the street to see what was going on with the traffic, and was startled to realize that… he’d been right. There were barricades set up and policemen directing cars away from the street. Derek had legitimately closed off the area.

How powerful was he?

Forcing himself not to panic, Stiles moved around the car with the other guy, who moved quickly to get the door for him, pulling it open. Stiles muttered a thanks, because he was a polite guy, and climbed into the Camaro, the door shutting sounding like a coffin lid.

He tried not to look at Derek as he buckled himself in, wanting to make himself small in hopes that maybe Derek would forget he was there entirely.

–

R - Current fic being worked on (could actually be posted by the time queue catches up lol)

Romance, as a whole, was perfectly fine, and he knew it was popular.

No, what Stiles did take issue with was people’s complete lack of originality on cover designs for said romance novels.

Every single one he’d ever seen—or done himself—was virtually exactly the same. It was boring, and he hated it, and he hated having to justify why he wanted to change things with his clients. They never listened, so it got to the point where he did the same thing over, and over, and over again, with only the slightest variations, and doing that got boring and repetitive.

It also ran the risk of him being accused of plagiarising his own stuff because all of the covers looked the damn same.

–

U - One I am still on the fence about finishing related to a Supernatural haven.

“Understood.” When she turned to leave, Stiles was pretty sure there was a bit of a skip in her step.

Harris could fucking wait, the asshole. And maybe Stiles was also kind of sort of trying to delay what was coming. Because he knew if Harris was here, this was it.

Did this mean he was stuck here starting now? Like, was it an immediate thing? Or could he still go home? Fuck, this was a lot, but he’d made his decision and he was sticking to it. It was only five years, he could handle that.

When he headed back around the corner, he was near the dining room and his dad walked out of it. He looked resigned, but he still said, “Ready to go home?”

Stiles just gave him a look, silently asking him not to make this whole thing worse than it already was. The only thing he had going for him right this second was the fact that Erica was making Harris wait at the gate pretending she couldn’t find him.

–

S - ZOMBIEAPOCALYPSEZOMBIEAPOCALYPSEZOMBIEAPOCALYPSE (I am perfectly normal about zombie apocalypses, clearly).

“Set a timer for an hour,” he said to whoever was beside him out of sight. Then he faced Stiles again, smiling brightly. “We’ll see you again real soon, Mr. Stilinski.”

“Bite me,” he spat.

“Oh, I do believe you’ve had quite enough bites for one day,” the guy said infuriatingly before the door was shut in Stiles’ face.

–

H - MerMay fic I started before my life went tits up. I am praying I can finish it before MerMay this year.

He jerked awake, and then heard something large crash loudly into the water, having him let out a shout and swimming quickly behind one of the large rocks he had down at the bottom of his pond. His heart was pounding and a part of him worried she’d just sent him down a friend he would not like—oh God, if it was a shark, he was going to be pissed.

Staying hidden behind the large boulder, heart pounding and ears straining to hear the telltale sign of another being in the pond with him, he felt himself slowly calming down when he heard nothing moving around, suggesting he was still alone.

Coming out from behind his rock cautiously, he looked around and saw nothing out of the ordinary in his immediate line of sight. Making sure to move slowly, in case whatever was in here with him was just waiting for Stiles to ripple the water enough to find him, he slowly made his way to the surface until he could pop his head out. He didn’t emerge completely, only just above his nose so that his eyes were out of the water, but the rest was submerged.

[spark-hearts2]

Hey! I was wondering if you has any thoughts about how each player's room gets made.

Like, is it conscious on Caine's part? Does he make it as soon as he sees the player's outfit/body, or does it spawn on its own outside of his control?

TADC THEORY!!!!!!

I do have thoughts about this! It was one of the many elements that I included in chapter 3 of my fanfiction, (In case you don't want to dig through 24k words, I think that Caine designs the rooms for the players based off their avatar)

WHY I think that is the case is under the cut.

Alright! I've made a point, now to back it up with evidence.

This is what Pomni's room looks like (ignore her on the floor). It matches her red and blue color scheme but that's about it. There's some toys and a few normal bedroom things like a dresser, chair, vanity, and a mirror (not pictured). The high saturation of the colors, the strange use of curtains, and odd layout of the room matches the aesthetic of the circus, but it lacks the personality that the other rooms have.

Zooble's room has a lot of similarities to Pomni's room. It has toys on the floor, an odd pattern on the walls, curtains, odd mirrors, but it's also a lot more unique. The colors are darker and the red used on the bed is actually not hyper saturated. It feels a lot closer to Zooble's personality that Pomni's room.

The way that I interpret this is that Pomni's room is a little thrown together. Look at it, I don't think that there are any object that Caine would have to custom make. Contrast that to Zooble's room with the unique chandelier and a floorplan (based on what I can tell at least) that makes more sense. Pomni's room feels thrown together in a way that Zooble's doesn't, which would make sense if he just slapped it together while they were walking over to the room.

I have one last point as evidence that Caine made the rooms. The human's avatars seem to perfectly represent their individual personalities... Ok maybe that's just the fact that this is a TV show so of course the character designs match the character's personalities.

BUT! If we were to treat this seriously, then that would proof that whoever designed their bodies really understood the people that these were for. The rooms just don't have this same feeling to them. The rooms feel like part of the circus just adjusted to better match whoever was meant to stay in that room. You could debate whether or not it's conscious on Caine's part, but realistically speaking computers don't really have a conscious and a subconscious (I won't get into that here). So far the speeds that we've seen Caine pull something together haven't been realistic (did he just have a mcdonalds style map lying around for the humans or something? Because spuzdies was very put together even if he saved time by reusing NPC's), so I think it is entirely possible that Caine designed Pomni's room from that perspective.

Personally, I don't think this question will ever get answered by canon (unfortunately). The series is more about character explorations than lore. But I am all about lore, so thanks for the ask!

[flowersandskeletons526]

"Pick Your Battles" - Warriors Concept Album Fanfic

Follow-up to Ajax's origin story fic I posted awhile ago. Go read that if you haven't or this won't make a whole lot of sense. I just wanted to give my girl some closure here. Enjoy!

--------------

Ajax walked beside Swan down the empty streets. The February wind cut through her clothes, whipping in off the ocean and biting at the tips of her ears. She kept her hands in her pockets to protect her fingers, refusing to wear anything but fingerless gloves even in the dead of winter. Rembrandt had forced her to put on a thin scarf she now kept tucked into the front of her jacket. She pulled the scarf up to cover her mouth and nose as she glanced over at Swan. Swan wore a jacket two sizes too big - probably Cleon’s - and a threadbare beanie. She tucked her hands into her armpits and squinted against the cold.

“This is bullshit,” she grumbled through chattering teeth. “This is so stupid.”

“Damn, speaking out against Cleon,” Ajax remarked. “You must be freezing.”

“Why couldn’t we do this in the morning when the sun is out? It’s like ten below zero with the fucking wind!”

“You want to blame someone, blame Fox and Cowgirl. They could’ve waited ’til tomorrow to tell Cleon. Not like whoever crossed out our tags were still there. Here, you want the scarf? You can have the scarf. I feel like a fucking baby wrapped up in it.”

“I appreciate it, but no thanks. If you get sick, I’m never gonna hear the end of it from Rem.”

“Fair enough.” Ajax looked around, taking note of the intersection they crossed. “I know Cowgirl said it was near the eastern border but is it really this far out?”

“She said this street between these avenues. Gray building, third story, down an… wait, up there.” Swan pointed, and Ajax followed her finger. “That’s it, right?”

Sure enough, there was their tag, the fire engine red sigil that Rembrandt designed, now covered by a puke green “BB.” Ajax cocked her head, frowning. She knew that tag from somewhere. She knew the gang it represented. Where had she…?

Oh. Wait. Fuck.

Ajax threw her head back and groaned. “God dammit, not these dumbasses!” she hollered at the night sky.

Swan gave her a weird look. “You know them?”

“Brighton Boys,” Ajax growled. “Bunch of idiots with Napoleon complexes. I watched them come up when I used to hang around Brighton Beach.”

“You used to hang around Brighton Beach?”

“Before I met Cleon. Don’t ask.”

Another weird look from the second-in-command. “Okay. They trouble?”

“They’re unpredictable, so yeah. Trouble.” Ajax snarled, kicking futilely at the sidewalk because she couldn’t very well punch a brick wall to let her frustration out. She turned on her heel and stalked back towards home. Swan hurried to catch up to her. “We’re gonna have to call in a favor.”

“From who? Am I out of the loop on something here? Who do we know in Brighton Beach?”

“It’s who I know.”

Back in the kitchen of Cleon’s apartment, Swan and Ajax recounted what they’d seen, how they found no invaders present at the scene but the covered tag was undeniably a direct challenge. Cochise, Cowgirl, and Fox listened from the couch. Behind where Cleon stood at the table, Rembrandt perched on the edge of the counter, leaning forward, watching Ajax with that piercing, curious look she got when she was figuring out exactly what someone was thinking. Not that she really had to try to get into Ajax’s head anymore.

Rembrandt knew her history. She’d told her that tale of woe a long time ago, how she’d run to escape her hellish childhood in Queens only to be abandoned by her older cousin Andre in Brighton Beach when another gang called for her head. She knew how Cochise and Cleon had found her half dead, saving her from being mugged and taking her in. Rembrandt knew everything and understood why Ajax wanted to keep it all to herself.

“Alright,” Cleon said when Swan and Ajax finished their report. She looked at Ajax, and the enforcer could see in her eyes how carefully she chose her next words. “How familiar are you with the Brighton Boys?”

“Not very,” said Ajax, “but I know enough to know they’re afraid of the Neptunes.”

“The Neptunes.”

Andre.

“They’re still the ruling power in Brighton. If there’s gonna be a fight, which, let’s be real, there probably will be, it’s best if they get a heads-up. It’s a longshot considering the kind of nut jobs they keep for soldiers, but they might even shut the Brighton Boys down before we have to escalate anything.”

The Warriors stared at her in stunned silence. Cleon and Rembrandt looked almost proud in a way that made Ajax mildly self-conscious while everyone else looked at her like she’d grown a second head. 

“Are you being… diplomatic?” Swan asked incredulously.

“Fuck off!” Ajax snapped as her face grew hot. “I’m not just a walking fistfight!”

“Debatable,” Cowgirl scoffed.

“Motherfucker-”

“Stop bullying Ajax,” Cleon interjected. “It’s a good plan. I’ll send the message and set up a meeting.”

“On the beach, near the border,” Swan suggested. “So no one’s too far into foreign territory.”

“How about the aquarium?” Fox chimed in. “It’s not hard to sneak into the outdoor area. Security sucks.”

“Why do you know that?”

“I used to go in after hours to look at the sea lions. We could probably slip the guards a couple bucks and they’d leave us alone to have a meeting.”

“Well,” said Cleon with a chuckle, “if the Neptunes agree, I guess we’ll have a meeting in the damn aquarium.”

“Let us know when,” said Ajax. “We’re gonna go home for the night if you don’t have anything else for us.”

“Yeah, yeah, go ahead. Your landlord finally turned up the heat in your guys’ apartment, right?”

“Yeah, he did.”

“Good. Stay warm and get home safe.”

“We will.” 

Ajax, Fox, and Rembrandt said their goodbyes, with Fox insisting on hugging everyone because she really was still a kid, and headed out to their shared apartment. Fox walked in front. Ajax and Rembrandt followed behind her, Rembrandt holding onto Ajax’s arm with both hands. Rembrandt kept glancing up at her, but she didn’t speak. She just kept her jaw clenched and her eyes forward. 

Her chest felt hot and dry and tight. Her ears rang. She focused on taking deep breaths, worried she might lash out at the closest person if she opened her mouth and the closest person was Rembrandt and she refused to lose her temper on the one person who didn’t aggravate it. She was bigger than that now. She was stronger now. She was not the kid with nowhere to go when the last person she had in the world abandoned her for the sake of street cred. She was not the runt with a losing track record in two boroughs. She was a Warrior. She had Rembrandt and Cleon and the whole gang behind her and pain from her past was not going to drag her down now. She wouldn’t let it.

When they got back to their apartment, she flopped down on the busted couch and closed her eyes with a heavy sigh. She pinched the bridge of her nose as a gentle hand rested on the back of her neck. 

“Hey, Fox,” said Rembrandt, “could you give us a minute, please?”

“Sure! I was going to bed anyway,” Fox said. 

Rembrandt’s hand on Ajax’s neck disappeared as Fox pulled her into a quick, tight hug. She squeezed Ajax’s shoulder because Ajax was not in the mood for a hug and literally anyone with partially functioning eyes could see that. Ajax at least patted her hand in return before she disappeared into her room on the other end of the apartment. 

The couch dipped beside her. She opened her eyes to see Rembrandt, one arm draped over the back of the couch as she rested her other hand on Ajax’s knee. The tagger looked at her with those big, searching brown eyes and that little worried crease between her eyebrows, and Ajax felt the tension all but drain out of her. 

“Tell me what’s on your mind,” Rembrandt whispered.

Ajax sighed and leaned her head back. “I really don’t know if I can stop myself from losing it if I see him,” she admitted. “Every time I think about the night he kicked me out, I want to drag him to the middle of the Verrazano Bridge and kick him off.”

“Cleon might veto that,” Rembrandt said with a smirk. Ajax fought off a smile. It was so hard not to smile whenever she saw Rembrandt’s dimples and that bright spark in her eye. “Why would you even suggest dealing with the Neptunes again?”

“You want me to be honest?”

“That’s all I ever want from you.”

“Some of the dudes that the Neptunes keep on deck are fucking psycho and they take everything as a personal insult. I couldn’t care less about the Brighton Boys. They’ll be easy to get rid of. I don’t want the Neptunes taking offense if we make a move in their hood without dropping them a line first.”

“I can handle psychos.”

“You’re not spraying paint in anyone’s eyes again.”

“You keep bringing that up,” Rembrandt huffed. Ajax couldn’t help but laugh as Rembrandt moved to straddle her lap. She leaned in and wrapped her arms around Ajax’s neck. “You’re better than him. You’ll be able to keep it together. I believe in you.” 

Ajax pulled Rembrandt close and buried her face against her shoulder. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. C’mon, let’s go to bed.” 

It took a week for the Neptunes to agree to the meeting, a week filled with heavily armed and guarded tagging missions to redo all the Warriors tags that the Brighton Boys continued to cover. There were messages sent back and forth, debating the time and place over and over until one of the Boys decided to tag one of Rembrandt’s freeform murals just to be an ass. Cleon finally pushed the meeting through - no more adjustments, no more discussion - when Rembrandt threatened to eradicate the entire gang over the disrespect. Cochise had to drag her outside for a cigarette while everyone but Ajax grappled with the fact that, indeed, Rembrandt had learned more than a little bit about fighting. 

Fox was right about greasing the guards to get access to the outdoor area of the aquarium grounds. It didn’t take much money at all to convince them to look the other way, which led to Cowgirl joking about stealing a penguin and Swan quickly squashing the thought before Fox took it seriously. 

They sat at one of the little tables by the tanks, Cleon and Swan on the bench with Ajax and Cochise posted behind them and the others milling around, waiting for the Neptunes to show up. It was cold as fuck again and as the minutes ticked by, Ajax’s patience thinned and thinned. She bounced on the balls of her feet to keep warm, keeping her scarf up over her face. Rembrandt noticed her restlessness and pulled her aside out of earshot of the others.

“You okay?” she asked.

“Penguins are pissing me off,” Ajax said, jerking her head towards the squawking birds.

“Ajax, I’m serious.”

“They should’ve been here by now. I’m annoyed.”

“Keep a lid on it. We’re early. Give it a minute.”

“Their bus better have fucking crashed for them to be late!”

“Ajax! Rembrandt!” Cleon called. Rembrandt shot her one last keep your cool look as they rejoined the gang. 

The Neptunes rolled up seven members deep like Cleon had requested, weapons free. Even footing and all that. Their leader and his second, whose names Ajax couldn’t care to remember, sat at the table across from Cleon and Swan. Ajax scanned the faces of the others as they fell into position behind their leader. She didn’t even know if he’d be there. A lot could happen in a few years. 

When she finally spotted him, she was taken aback. Andre looked… old. He’d always been wiry, even when they were kids, but now he looked rail thin. He wasn’t even middle-aged yet, but his hair had gone gray around his temples and his eyes were sunken and distant. He was almost a stranger. Gang life hit him hard. 

He locked eyes with Ajax. She tugged the scarf down to fully reveal her face, and she found a sick satisfaction in the way his eyes widened and the color drained from his already ashen face. Her lips twisted in a cold smirk. 

Surprise, motherfucker.

“Thanks for agreeing to meet, Julian,” said Cleon to the leader of the Neptunes.

“Of course,” the man said in a gravelly voice. “Can I ask why we couldn’t have met somewhere inside?”

“Neutral ground.”

“I see. This is about the Brighton Boys, is it?”

“They’ve covered ten of my tags now and fucked up one of my tagger’s murals, which is just a personal insult.” 

Julian looked back at Rembrandt, who was fiddling with a paint can and glaring daggers at Andre. Ajax fought to hide her grin and keep her business face on, but she’d never loved Rembrandt more than seeing her ready to kill someone in that moment and that was a hard feeling to suppress. 

“I’ve seen those murals. I’d be insulted, too,” Julian said with a nod. He clasped his hands on the table and leaned forward. “They’re getting out of hand. I won’t bullshit you. Two other gangs in Brighton Beach have come to me asking for them to be dealt with.”

“I don’t need you to handle them,” Cleon corrected. She jerked a thumb over her shoulder at Ajax, and Julian raised his eyebrows. Ajax flashed a wicked grin. “I’ve got people who can handle them just fine. This is a courtesy meeting to let you know we are going to handle them. My enforcer here thought it would be polite to let you know before anything went down in your hood, even if it isn’t on your turf.”

“Enforcer,” Julian repeated slowly, looking Ajax up and down. “I remember you. You’ve moved up in the world.” 

“I played to my strengths,” Ajax said smugly. She never took her eyes off Andre.

“Smart choice. Cleon, listen. These kids irritate the fuck out of me, too, and I’ve already got enough people on my ass about them from gangs who actually border my territory. If you’re ready to deal with them, I’ll let you deal with them how you see fit from your side. I’ll hit them from the other.”

“I just need to hear I’m not going to get a retaliation from you over this.”

“You won’t. I appreciate the courtesy call. Even if you made me come out in the freezing cold.”

The leaders stood and shook hands over the table. Cleon smiled, and Julian’s deep set frown relaxed in what Ajax assumed was a smile for him. “You got a long way home?” Cleon asked as the two gangs faced off in the open area. 

Julian shrugged. “Not far. The B68 bus still runs this time of night if we really don’t want to walk.”

“Get there safe. I’ll keep you updated on the Brighton Boys situation.” 

“You’re welcome on Neptune turf, Cleon. Just ring me first.”

“Same goes for you.” 

The Neptunes turned and headed for the exit. Ajax breathed a sigh of relief as Rembrandt all but ran to put an arm around her. It was over. She made it through without hitting anyone. She showed up, showed she was still alive, showed she was tough, even her leader made it clear that she could take care of anyone who tried to step to them now. She wasn’t baby Amber anymore. She wasn’t little fledgling Ajax just coming into her name. She was the Warriors’ enforcer and the whole city had better fucking know it!

“Ajax!” Andre called. 

Well. She stayed calm for all of five minutes. New personal record, she supposed. 

Andre was whispering something harsh to Julian while the gang leader just glowered at him. He held up a hand to silence Andre, took a deep breath, and turned to Cleon and Swan.

“My head scout wants a word with your enforcer,” he explained, gesturing to Andre. 

Cleon looked to Ajax. “If my enforcer is okay with it.”

“Is your tagger okay with it?” asked Julian’s second-in-command.

Rembrandt looked decidedly not okay with Andre talking to Ajax. She, in fact, looked like she would rather throw the man in the penguin tank that let him get anywhere near Ajax. With a small smile, Ajax nodded to Rembrandt to let her know it was alright, she was okay, she’d be fine. No way she’d fuck this meeting up and start an even bigger war than they were already facing down, right? She shared a look with Cleon, who nodded in understanding and gently guided Rembrandt to go stand with Fox by the sea lions. 

Ajax’s face crumpled into a snarl as she stepped off into a secluded corner with her cousin. She wasn’t sure if he had shrunk or something because she used to look up to him but now they were eye to eye. He stood a few steps back, hands shoved deep in his pockets, shallow breaths turning to fog in the midnight chill. She crossed her arms and waited for him to speak.

“So. That, uh…” Andre cleared his throat and nodded towards Rembrandt standing with Cleon. “That your girl?”

Ajax went from zero to one hundred real quick, fists clenched and teeth bared as she growled, “You got a problem?”

“No! No, I mean, hey, y’know, good for you. She’s pretty.”

“Stop looking at her!” 

“Alright, no small talk, I guess.”

“Small talk? You weren’t one for small talk when you threw me out on the street!”

“Kid, listen, it was gang business back then. You should understand now that you’ve been affiliated for awhile, I had to-”

“Go justify it to your fucking mirror, man.” Ajax swept past him, but he grabbed her arm and pulled her back. She wrenched free and got in his face. “Touch me again and I will drop you, right here, right now in front of all your boys. Go ahead. Give me the chance to show what I’ve learned since I’ve been affiliated.”

Andre raised his hands and backed off. “Sorry. I’m sorry. My bad.”

“Yeah, that’s right, your fucking bad. Now what do you want?” 

“I wanted to apologize. Truly, I’m sorry, Ajax. Back then, I… It was gang business, yeah, but you’re family. I should have fought harder for you and I’m sorry I didn’t. When I found out you were running with Cleon, I was happy for you! Really! I didn’t honestly expect you to be here tonight-”

“Well, I’m one of the original Warriors and I’m the toughest motherfucker in all of Coney Island, so yeah, I’m here.”

“I get that part. I mean I thought you wouldn’t want to see me.”

“It wasn’t about seeing you.” Ajax lowered her voice. She looked past Andre, past his sad, grief stricken face to where Rembrandt leaned against a wall and watched the two of them from afar. Rembrandt gave her a little nod, and suddenly the world and her words didn’t feel so goddamn fucking heavy. “I know how this shit works. I know how you work. You and the Neptunes. I know what would happen if something went down in Brighton and your man took offense to it and I didn’t want my crew to get dragged into that bullshit. I face things head on now. I’ve learned how to pick my battles and going up against the kind of company you keep is not one I want to deal with. And neither are you.”

“Ajax. Amber-”

“Don’t piss me off more than you already have, man. I’m not your baby cousin anymore. You’re not even on my level. You don’t get to treat me like you are. My name is Ajax and I’m a fucking Warrior and you better learn that.” 

Ajax stalked past him again, and this time, he let her. She left him standing by the wall for his gang to go collect. Rembrandt and Cleon were quick to each put an arm around her and fall into step without breaking her stride. The rest of the Warriors took the hint and followed behind them, heading out of the closed aquarium and turning down the boardwalk towards home. 

As Ajax looked out over the stars and the sea, she held onto her lover and her leader tight and let herself smile, full and unbidden. 

Rembrandt leaned her head on Ajax’s shoulder. “Are you okay?”

“Never better,” she sighed, and finally, she believed it.

[pillowspace]

Pspsps tell me about your OCS 👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️

OKAY, SO SO SO, UHHH. Where is it. I'm about to go on the biggest ramble, you have no idea

THIS IS LUCA. There's also Carmen, who is Luca's older sibling / caregiver. Carmen is bigender, any pronouns. I don't have an official design yet, but Carmen has straighter, choppier hair and is years older.

In Luca's first life, he was just miserable. At a young age, he regarded his older brother Carmen (these were not their names at the time) as someone he greatly admired. Carmen wasn't the best brother, turned irritable after the grief of losing parents Luca never even had the chance to meet, but they still had their moments of fun and play. That was short-lived though, as Carmen quickly moved out, leaving Luca behind with only a glance. So at this point, Luca has already understood that he is not somebody worth saying goodbye to. Throughout this all, Carmen had been the closest Luca had to a friend.

After their grandparents who Luca had been living with passed, he was sent to live with his older brother at the age of thirteen. Carmen was cold and distant, always avoiding Luca, but always protecting him in all the wrong ways due to a sense of obligation. Luca was constantly sheltered away from other people while still not getting any actual attention within that shelter. It resulted in the brothers arguing, which resulted in an unhealthy realization: Luca would be looked at and talked to if he was causing trouble. So he began constantly acting out, and Carmen, who couldn't even realize why Luca was doing it, got more frustrated because of it.

Eventually Carmen got a wife. Luca, still only a teenager, would insult the wife to Carmen in private. But Luca actually adored her, so the insults were more just about Carmen's tastes, meanwhile she taught Luca archery. Those were the only times Luca could even remotely be himself.

It all just resulted in a downward spiral of Luca's mind, until he heard of a romantic legend from a neighbour he snuck out with one night. It was said that whoever performed it could remain with a lover through every lifetime, forever meant to be theirs. Forever to belong, with the memory of every life to cherish. Luca found it dumb, saying that immortality sounded more like a curse than anything. How could one bare the horrors and loss of every single life for all of eternity?

But it stuck with him. Until finally, at the age of seventeen, he reached a breaking point. He was convinced Carmen hated him, and Luca wanted nothing more than to be seen by his brother. So he took that ritual and twisted it into something terrible. It sounded like a curse, and so he would make it one. Luca attacked his brother, and performed it on both of them. It differed, in that Luca would intentionally fracture his own soul during it, so that Carmen would be the only one to remember, while Luca would never have to. For every life, Luca would find Carmen. Luca saw this in itself as a punishment, firm in the belief that he himself only served to make his brother miserable. For himself though, it was simultaneously a punishment on himself and a means to stay with his brother forever in his confused desperation. And for every life, they would die at the exact same age they died in their first.

For the first life after that, Carmen was scared of Luca. For the first few lives, she was avoidant and tried to flee. But it was true, that Luca was to always end up with Carmen. Luca was often only just a confused child who actually knew how to smile and laugh though, so he was always unsure why Carmen looked at him so strangely. It was as if these new lives of Luca were an entirely different person.

This progressed across lives until Carmen began to understand her brother. Avoidance turned to guilt, and guilt turned to horror for how misguided she had been in being both Luca's brother and caregiver. She had thought it enough to give him a home. She had thought it enough to shield him (though the joy she saw in Luca when he played with the other kids now filled her with doubt). And it was in the face of Luca so unfamiliarly happy that clicked in place how miserable he had actually been. Somehow, Luca's fighting had become no more than background noise. It had all just been background noise to Carmen, and he hated that he had allowed that to happen. What Luca did to him will always haunt Carmen, as he experiences loss after loss through every life. But that could co-exist with him still wanting to make up for his own wrongs.

So through every life, Carmen gives his brother the happiest life he can while trying to restore Luca's soul, so the curse can be broken on both of them. And after every death, Carmen sees the fractured soul of Luca's first life within the dark waiting room void between lives, and silently sits by it quietly muttering apology after apology, for he has grown to love Luca more than anything over their shared lives.

This is all a backstory though. There is a main story, and it's about a group of people who are all immortal through different means trying to find a way to lose their immortality. A reversal on people trying to find the secret to it. There are more OCs. Luca and Carmen (the actual names of this life, and Luca now has the design shown above ^) join in. Carmen does not tell Luca why they're there, but Luca has been... starting to wonder.

This is their second to last life before Luca's soul is finally restored. Before their story ends, in the black void once more, Luca (with all of his memories) makes one final request that he tearfully grants his brother the ability to refuse: one more life. Just one more life where they can both be happy, and neither have to remember the curse at all, living a final life that may only end in old age. Carmen agrees. And they have one more life.

In their final life, they live a happy childhood together. Luca finally grows past the age of 17 to become an adult. He becomes a florist, and there is both love but a healthy distance between him and his brother. Independence. The other immortals they had travelled with come to buy flowers from Luca only once, no longer remembered by him. They are happy for him, and leave both him and Carmen to live out the happiest lives they never thought they'd get to have.

And that, is Luca and Carmen's story.

[originemesis]

Spill it! Are you in love with Lute?

There's a furrowing of brows followed by a testy click of talons along a desk and finished with a derisive little snort. Just why everyone is so emotionally invested in his and his lieutenant's affairs is beyond his understanding- and technically his pay grade to prattle pretty about. Plus, it's not like anything he could regurgitate in regards to the matter would ever suffice as an acceptable answer to anyone whom would ask him such a question other than her that made up the subject of its inquiry. Perhaps that was why he was apt to play his word games, because at least if he could undermine the overall intelligence of a third party, he'd get something out of the exchange that wasn't the rolled eyes and rancor of someone who had already decided the answer for him as seamlessly as creation had decided his past partners with an unspoken but settling sentiment of 'suck it up'. Such engagements had always been with an end goal in mind- and he'd be dishonest if he didn't enter into most- if not all manner of relations under the premises of progress pistoned out of a need demanded of the first few to forge- that twit angels would glamorize and see as some pristine privilege they could but pine over and wonder the lot of mortals to be so miserable to shoulder it's cause.

Perhaps that was why he and his ever the sanctimonious superior seemed so at odds at times. He was so often given women that were to be of some service to his role that would have been retired by now had it not been for the whole extermination business that it seemed he was incapable of a deeper level of care that extended past provider...later teacher in the case of his lieutenant.

But what good was a right hand if it didn't align with what actions he needed take? What good was a rib that did not shelter a heart so easily dismantled were it not for his own ruthlessness aimed toward combative interception? When there was no need for the latter thanks to the curated deeds of his right hand in cutting down the obstacles that would impede his designs, then his hand was not only concerned with how it clasped the axe in it, but also the strings attached to the instrument that his weapon also served purpose, even if it was one barely understood by those that heard the sharp edge of a soul used to shatter so many in a singular strum.

Sometimes it just sounded like music- because that was really all it ever was- brought to life by a song in the garden in the same amount of days it took to create the fucking world. A right hand would know that along with every chord and trembled wrist. And she did.

"For the record, no one is ever 'in' love with anything. It's not a damned Olympic sized pool you just topple in one day because you didn't see on the horizon and it's not something you claw your way out of and leave whoever else fell in to drown. Sure, some would love to spin it that way so they can claim you're only 'in' love with a process. Maybe an idea someone becomes instead of themselves. But that's because seraphim exist in a vacuum where you 'live, laugh, love' without any semblance of why. Without the hard shit. Gravel on bare feet's a hard concept for those with wings. I might have them now, but I don't hold my approval at a jumping height because I have the wherewith-fuck-all to recognize you don't just love what you're given and stop at any sustained faults. You get those together ~ until your edges fit so finite that anything set to pry them apart can get fucked." Talons fan ever so briefly enough to intertwine and steeple as if ending the prayer of his own musings with culpable if not condescending smile.

"I am."

[duhragonball]

Neon Genesis Evangelion 25

It... really isn't though.

Last episode, Shinji killed the last Angel, albeit reluctantly, and that pretty much wraps up the main conflict of the series. So now we just need to wrap up all the loose ends. You know, answer the lingering questions such as:

What is an Eva?

Where did the Angels come from?

When did the Second Angel show up? Did I miss that somewhere?

What's the deal with Rei?

What was SEELE up to?

What was Gendo Ikari up to?

No, really, what's the deal with Rei?

What actually caused Second Impact?

Where did the Dead Sea Scrolls come from, and why did SEELE and Gendo believe the apparent predictions that it made?

Why did they need fourteen-year-old children to pilot the Evas?

What is the Human Instrumentality Project, exactly?

I'm not kidding, what the fuck is the deal with Rei? You can't just dodge the question; she's one of the principal characters. You put her on all the merchandise for crying out loud.

Did Pen-Pen get reunited with Misato after she sent him away to live with friends just before the final battle?

Wow, that's a longer list than I realized. Anyway, Episode 25 takes a long hard look at those unanswered questions and then wads it up and throws it in the trash, then sets the trash can on fire and burns down the entire house. Then Episode 25 goes back in time and erases the very concept of information from the fundamental design of the universe, so that no coherent answers can possibly exist.

If you enjoyed Neon Genesis Evangelion, and are curious to know what happens after Episode 24, Episode 25 wants you to know that it hates you. When you watch Episode 25, you know less about this show than you did before you watched it.

Now, I expected something kind of abstract and surreal. I've heard about this. Fans were dissatisfied with the way the series ended, which eventually led to the release of "End of Evangelion", which promised to deliver a more satisfying conclusion to the series.

I never quite understood, until today, just how dissatisfied the fans really were at the time. I feel like I heard once, long ago, someone complaining that NGE was simply unfinished. Like it got cancelled or something or the writers gave up without writing the rest of it. But that appears to be untrue, so I'm left to assume that whoever said that was just being sarcastic. It's like that xkcd cartoon about the Matrix movie, and the characters lament the fact that they never made a sequel. The joke is that they know there were sequels, but they prefer to pretend that they didn't exist.

And I think at some point I found out that End of Evangelion was like a retelling of the story, but I assumed it was just because you see that a lot in anime. Adolescence of Utena basically does a whole other version of the story in the Utena TV series, basically.

But no, I eventually found out that fans just really, really hated Episodes 25 and 26, and EoE was a make-good. Like, it literally functions as a new Episode 25 and 26 for the TV show, from what I understand. I was looking over an episode list on Wikipedia, and that's how it's listed. There's Episodes 1-26, and then 25A and 26A.

That's wild. I've been curious about this the whole time, and now I'm here and man, Episode 25 is some serious bullshit. I kind of expected it to be weird, and maybe inconclusive, but still in a good kind of way. Like... well, Revolutionary Girl Utena is probably a good example. I watched that show a few years ago and I'm still baffled by most of it, but it had a charm and beauty to it that kept me engaged. I would have preferred a more coherent narrative, but I still found enjoyment from it.

But NGE 25 just sucks. There's no other way to say it. It doesn't advance the plot, it doesn't reveal any secrets or solve any mysteries. It doesn't really do much of anything. I'll try to explain this mess, but fair warning: I don't think there's much to unpack here.

So we start with Shinji agonizing over the way he killed Kaworu, the 17th Angel, at the end of the last episode. This might be promising, except he already agonized over this at the end of Episode 24. I mean, he could continue where he left off. That would be fine, except this episode even repeats the same scene where he talks to Misato about it and she assures him that he did the right thing. No new insights are introduced here.

Shinji imagines himself in the grasp of Eva Unit 01, and laments that he still has to pilot the Eva, even after all that's happened. Uh, who said you have to keep piloting the Eva, sport? I'm not saying this is true or untrue, but why does Shinji assume this when he has no more enemies to fight, and his dad hasn't assigned him to a new mission?

This is what pisses me off. In a good episode, the story would just move forward in linear time. The battle with Kaworu would be over, and everyone would dust themselves off and ask what's next. Gendo would either tell everyone what to do, or they'd defy Gendo and try to stop him. Or something. Someone would have to tell Shinji that he will have to continue piloting the Eva, or that he never has to pilot it again, and he could react to that information.

Instead, we have him whining about facts that aren't even in evidence. Does he have to keep piloting the Eva or not? We don't know! Neither does he! And we can't find out because this stupid episode is some sort of dream sequence/acid trip instead of being set in the "real" world!

And again, I kind of knew it would be like this, that NGE ended with Shinji having some weird introspection instead of a proper finale. But what drives me nuts is that we really don't learn anything new about him. He hates his dad for abandoning him! He does what he's told because he's desperate for the approval of others! He's afraid of people hating him! He hates piloting the Eva but he does it because people appreciate him for it! We already know this! Dammit, we've been hearing about it for the entire run of the show.

Hey, did you know Asuka's bio-mom hanged herself when she was little? Yes, you did, because we found out in Episode 24. Episode 25 just... shows us all over again like it's new information. It doesn't do anything new with it. It just rehashes the same observation that Asuka craves attention and glory and praise because she fears losing her identity without it. Nothing is added nor resolved.

I think the one new tidbit we get from this episode is that Rei has longed for the day when she would no longer be of any use to Gendo Ikari, and he would discard her. She waits for death, but now she fears it, which is pretty dark. Assuming that this is even the "real" Rei making that statement. We'll come back to that.

Oh, hey, Ritsuko Akagi is dead. When did that happen?

And so is Misato. Okay, maybe we're getting back to the real world, and seeing events play out. Gendo has triumphed over the Angels, and now he's liquidating his allies as he moves on to the next phase of his plan...

Wait, no, they're alive again, and arguing over the merits of the Human Instrumentality Project, which Ritsuko claims is designed to merge all human consciousness together into one big collective mind. Except... I don't believe that explanation, because it's being presented in a surreal fantasy. Ritsuko had a bullet hole in her a second ago and now she's fine. How can I accept any information presented in this scene?

Episode 25 then examines Misato's character for a while, under the pretense of proving some sort of oblique thesis, but in reality it just slut shames her for having casual sex with Kaji. The episode accuses her of giving in to base, carnal desires, and she screams denial after denial. I kept waiting for some deep dark secret to be at the heart of all of this. Like Misato only drinks and fucks to hide some secret shame, but no. She just drinks and fucks, because she's a grown-ass woman who can do whatever she wants when she's off-duty. This isn't catharsis, it's just filler disguised as drama. Who is she even arguing with?

Finally, Shinji finds himself in an empty theater, surrounded by other characters from the show. Like a Greek chorus, they inform him that this is but one of many realities, and what he's experiencing now is the reality he chose, a world cut off from everything that could possibly cause him discomfort. Also, he can't escape this fate, because he chose it, even though he repeatedly denies doing so.

And this is where I wrote off the episode as trash, because the like "This is real, but only one of the many realities" is the biggest cop out ever. So we're saying everything in this episode both happened and didn't happen? Then why does any of it matter?

This is why I question the point of Rei admitting she longs for death. If the real Rei thought this way, then it would be powerful. We know Rei. We've come to care about her over the course of the series. But the Rei we see in this episode may only be a figment of Shinji's imagination. Or she may not even be that. What she admits or denies in this episode is meaningless.

Anyway, yeah, fuck this episode. The only takeaway here is that Shinji has somehow gotten lost in his own head. He created a private haven for himself, but it's nothing more than a prison. Whooptee-shit.

Yeah, yeah, the next episode preview has deteriorated to mere script drafts instead of visuals. It's not cute anymore.

[atamascolily]

Lily liveblogs: Thunderbolt Fantasy 4x06

Demon realm home decor sure is something.

[Narrator voice] PREVIOUSLY ON THUNDERBOLT FANTASY, Lang Wu Yao was about to be ambushed by Spider's chains in Azibelpher's gothic castle!

Fortunately for Lang, he is well-equipped to hold his own against an invisible foe. RIP Azi's furniture, though.

Spider not only recognizes Lang from his time as the Court Virtuoso, he also recognizes him as a demon and Azi's kid thanks to the portrait on the wall

that portrait tho... OH MY GOD THAT PORTRAIT

Lang realizes Azi isn't there and fucks off, leaving Spider alone. Ba Wang Yu comes into gloat, but Spider believes Ansarto set them up.

meanwhile, Lin is disguised as Piao Miao again and is like, "oh, yeah, those demonic seals all the demon nobles have! you totally knew about those, right?"

... and Wasp and Spider end up believing whoever gathers the most seals gets the glory, so off they go.

Meanwhile, Azi calls a meeting to inform everybody that HUMANS ARMED WITH MAGIC HOLY SWORDS broke into his castle and everybody assumes they killed Jia Li and took her seal.

Ansarto: *sweats nervously*

Demon King: Y'ALL GOT ONE JOB, ELIMINATE THOSE FUCKERS ASAP OR ELSE

(crack thought: what if the demon king turns out to be the unseen Dong Li emperor in disguise, lololol. Okay, probably not, but you just gotta wonder what's going on back there, his silhouette looks like he's got a lot of feathers)

so Uraina (Covid Safety Protocols) appears in from of Spider... but instead of a fight, she proposes an alliance.

...at the same moment that Megamind (Hylas) is making a similar offer to Wasp.

A+ USE OF SPLIT SCREEN, I LAUGHED SO HARD

meanwhile, Ansarto, not to be outdone, finds Lang brooding and tells him he will train him using his special technique so Lang can kill Azi and do them both a favor, lolol

love that Lang literally cannot go anywhere without people recognizing his heritage, lololol POOR GUY

Parasol Lady is excellent, but Ansarto has the best design of all the new demons, Satoru Minamoto understood the assignment.

HIS SKITTERING LITTLE LEGS THO

considering that Ansarto's bio says he's skilled at dream manipulations, I foresee a scene paralleling Azi's temptation of Lang in S3 and also Lang journeying into his psyche and straight-up not having a good time--possibly connected, at least thematically, to the shot of him seeing an illusion of his mother in the OP (not to mention all those eyes)

Xing Hai, observing everything: uh, boss, should we be concerned?

Azi: lol, no, this is just starting to get good, let him cook

Xing Hai also tells him that the Order of the Divine Swarm broke into his castle, and Azi's like, "oh, yeah, you know their boss, can you introduce me?" so Xing Hai arranges a Zoom meeting, lolololol

Locust: you've got a lot of nerve showing your face around here after the stunt you pulled with Zhao Jun Lin.

Azi: Hello, handsome!

SO MUCH SCHEMING. SO, SO, SO MUCH SCHEMING.

also Azi/Locust is a legitimate ship now, I love it

meanwhile, Shang et al. climb a mountain in the Wasteland of Spirits and discover a rift spewing miasma below them, which Shang says leads to the demon realm.

it's unclear if we're still going to get the time travel plot I hoped for; that "surprised telenovela zoom" shot earlier may just have been Shang connecting the wasteland miasma with his brief time in the demon realm in S3, but there's still time!!

Chao Feng is STILL ranting about how Mu Tian Ming is the Worst (complete with flashbacks) but then they stumble across two low-level demons who are relatives of the guys Shang and Lang beat up last season and they square off for a fight, and I can't stop laughing because WOWOWOWOW those guys from last season turned out to be unexpectantly relevant after all, who knew.

(the preview for the next episode shows Shang leaping off the cliff with a flaming sword that is probably the lotus macguffin or whatever, so yeah, they're going to the demon realm next episode)

anyway, this episode was incredibly fucking hilarious, oh my god, so many balls in the air, where are they gonna all come down, and I'm living for it.

I hope Wasp ends up fighting Parasol Lady for the Butch vs. Femme ultimate showdown, lololol.

for the record, my money is on Lang getting the seals first because he is a Protagonist and also Powered By Rage, but I have no doubt there will be a lot of twists and turns before then

also jury's still out on whether Chao Feng will be attracted or repulsed by Lang's new look, but either way, she's going to tell him that now that he's a monster, no one will love him except for her, and he should go back to being her sheltered pet since there's no other place for him in the world. Blech.

Meanwhile, Tian Ming is blind, so she can't tell, and also she wants him to just be himself, and I just hope Lang will listen to her instead

how the FUCK do they puppet the mech anyway. Is there an actual guy in there + the one actually doing the external puppetry or what. cannot wait to find out in a behind the scenes video someday.

title of the next episode implies we are going to find out more about the connection between the heretical and demonic arts that Locust hinted at in the first episode and I cannot WAIT to see what big reveals are coming

also laughing because episode 8 of S3 was "Schemes and Conspiracies" but we have so, so leveled up from there, hahahahaha

[emilycollins00]

Act 2 re-read! A summer of overcomings!

Celebration time!! First otsu otsu from Itaru made me nostalgic sob

“Closing night was one of the happiest moments of my life” I know this is natsugumi time but this line from Saku hit me in the feels (also seeing Masumi’s sprite laughing like that was so sweet aw)

I like Yuki sm. I mean, I have always liked him but he’s so... frank? (mmm not the word but oh well) for his age and in the auditions you see the contrast between him and Kazu. Yuki IS somewhat interested after the show but I feel he understood it might take something more for him to be on board (after all there is a lot going on), on the other hand Kazu just went for it -which is fine- but it did feel as if he didn’t think that one too much (edit after the whole read: now im thinking that maybe it’s bc he saw the possibility of creating something similar to what spring troupe showed in like... a chance to find what he was looking for in a real friendship and i might cry)

Costume designer AND actor, tsuzuru pls don’t push the hand work to a middle schooler

“Mmm… You are pretty young” Tenma I’m tilting my head and raising my eyebrow that is not how I raised you (I forgot how he behaved at first help).

I loved how the audition went! Also props to Izumi for facing the big named actor and saying basically if you keep up this behaviour no matter how good you are you are out.

It's nice hearing the parents' voices as well! Yuki’s mom felt mmm idk didn’t expect it like that? Not that it was bad but it did feel how the house worked (also sakisaka papa crying bc of his son I swear this familyyyy/pos I love him)

“Where’s my gold star?” “Up your ass for all I care” Yuki really didn’t hold back oh my GOD once again kissing location

MISUMIIII (SDFGHJ Kazu really went “Rad it’s a ghost!” I wheezing) also the mechanic of the game to make it seem he was jumping all over the place by moving his sprite quickly from one side to the other hELP

There it is, the first catch em all from Izumi I love her kahsdkhkd

“Can I have another onigiri?” “Take it, my burglar friend” these combos I’m having so much fun?? (also the etudes where so nice to see!! tenma-misumi that was real cool)

OGtenma: I SHOULD be the leader bc blah, blah-

CurrentTenma whispering: You naive fool

Misumi being happy at kazu calling him bud I might cry

I like natsugumi ambition in all honestly regarding the play (also side note but kajshj strong muku unlocked I forgot he was like that since the beginning!)

First rehearsal was good for the exp they have. I’m happy Sakuya used his powers on Tenma to make him see you can be a good leader without needing to be complaining (whoever said that this might be bc Tenma was used to this harsh treatment during his jobs I second it)

The whole thing with kazu OH I wish I could hug him. That little flat laugh made me stop the story oof. Tenma really stepped over the line with everyone and I’m super glad Izumi had a talk with him

AW the firework scene!! (also known as, the beginning of tenma’s bullying/j) I think the natsugumi story is one of the most fun bc their dynamic as a full groupe are just so chaotic filled with nostalgia? I mean, they are the youngest troupe and I know it’s intentional but I still like it <3

THE BATH DMS I SWEAR THIS TROUPE I'M CACKLING (yuki’s was heads down the best I helpppp) glad the camp went well in the end!!

Yuzo and Sakyo attacking once again wow/j

Not Izumi getting teary at the vision of his dad AND misumi giving her a triangle they both deserve so much I swear (I’m also super curious about Og-natsugumi)

EVERYONE SILENCE WILD OMI APPEARED/j he was so sweet from minute 0 aw (I’m ignoring his angst up until akigumi main story <3 nope, not today)

I can’t wait to know about Reni in future jp stories bc SIR why

Anyway mukuyuki friendship ftw I adore how they hold one another and get strong together

Kazunari’s having a hard time siding with an opinion oh that was so close to home. I wish there was a way to help when someone is not able to voice or choose bc of pressure about their surroundings mm

OK SO If Igawa has 100 fans I’m one of them. If Igawa has 1 fan I’m them. If Igawa has no fans then-

Sumeragi dad I hope you kjdfknfjk I had to stop reading again. The thought of hitting tenma whether it was a one-time thing or… yeah, I can’t. I don’t like how this was handled so no more comment!

Sob. Can Izumi give me a pep talk as well. Just one? Please?

I love this troupe dynamic I swear. Good boys all over the place doing their best!!

I also wonder about hakkaku mmmmmm (“gramps is the only one who didn’t give up on me” that was so heavy… the protractor….. I need a minute)

Off that first camera dressing rehearsal I forgot…. Aw that must have been so harsh! Tenma really froze, him practicing alone in the theatre was something.

No but I’m asking BEGGING at this point can Izumi give me a pep talk??? (what a woman I love her and admire her SO MUCH UGH)

Spring troupe encouraging aww I love tenma-saku dynamic.

Man this play was everything!! I loved the full tale and that Muku really saved Tenma there!! (I’m proud of everyone but Muku somehow seeing the first audition and this one?? The boy worked so much and it SHOWS )

Tenma calling each of them before the last play without honorifics and everyone being so sweet ofc I cried all the way until the curtain call aw… all the adlibs brought so much force to the play and seeing them hugging and so happy oof, the whole thing was so fun I’m so glad! <33

Igawa coming to see Tenma? Nice Tenma’s parents coming to see him? MMM

MUKU’S PARENTS ARE JUST LOVELY WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT THEM MORE

GASP the juza/banri fight was after the play oh wow I did NOT remember that happening!! Abstaining from commenting but ogbanri that was so rude of you, you cant just come up to someone and ask for a fight!

Not reni talking about taichi like an assassin kasdkh this man is such a drama queen

I loveeeed this ep. They didn’t focus much on each member but the interactions between them all as a groupe were adorable as time passed aw they are friends your honor 💕💕