#whoa this got rly long

[nintendc64]

echoes of wisdom is like. really good

[closetsof-backlogged-dreams]

this is kind of very specific but thoughts on morgana randomly having magic years into her life? (merlin is the only wizard born with it i believe and usually you have to study magic to attain it?)

ok, so i wrote a huge huge analysis on this!! like absolutely gigantic!! and then it all got deleted😭😭 so we're going to try and recreate it rn so i dont jump off a cliff👍

alright! so, i'll start it off by saying that i've actually never thought about this before! the reason this was originally so huge was because i was thinking abt it and analyzing while i wrote it:) so this will still probably be rly long and kind of nonsensical lol bc i havent rly had the time to compress all of my thoughts, if that makes sense

okay, so there's two things that i want to address here:

Uther's prejudice towards magic

Morgana's connection to magic (family)

my first theory begins with viewing Morgana's magic as its own entity. Morgana was a little girl brought to Camelot, one of the most dangerous places to possess magic, and raised by Uther, the figurehead of the anti-magic movement. what if her magic knew that she wouldn't be safe there if it made itself known, so it locked itself up inside her? but her magic gained power as she got older, and grew restless, until it began to lash out in big magical displays such as a candle's flame reaching so high it sets the curtains alight, or the window the curtains covered being smashed without a single touch? so, that is one explanation—that her magic didn't surface until it absolutely had to in order to protect Morgana.

but let's look at Morgana's connections to magic. first, we have to acknowledge Morgana's connection to her half-sister, Morgause. we know that they are maternal half-sisters, sharing a mother, a noblewoman named Vivienne. Morgause's father is never confirmed in the series, but we obviously know that Morgana's is Uther. it is never fully explained what happened to Morgause, where she's been all this time, but after looking through the wiki and the episodes for information, I found this part of "The Sins of the Father":

UTHER: I was led to believe that the child had died.

GAIUS: The child lived, My Lord. She was smuggled out of Camelot shortly after her birth.

UTHER: How do you know this?

GAIUS: It was I who entrusted the child to the High Priestesses of the Old Religion.

UTHER: You should've told me, Gaius.

GAIUS: I had sworn a solemn oath, My Lord. I'm only breaking it now because I fear what Morgause might do.

UTHER: Does Morgana know?

GAIUS: I don't believe so.

UTHER: Morgana must never find out she has a half sister. I will not have her loyalties divided.

GAIUS: Of course. The High Priestesses will have trained Morgause from birth. Her magic will be powerful.

whoa. for how little we learn about Morgause throughout the series, this one piece of dialogue by far reveals the most. let's summarize, then analyze: so Uther obviously knows who Morgause is and believed her to be dead, when she had actually been handed over to the High Priestesses by Gaius to be trained in magic as a child. Uther is horrified by this because he doesn't want her "loyalties divided." when watching the episode, it's Uther is obviously shocked by this revelation, but not in the ways you'd think.

in my interpretation, it seems that Uther is shocked that this transpired, and that Gaius betrayed him (mostly this), but the fact of Morgause's magic doesn't seem to add any sort of fuel to the fire. it seems like information Uther was already aware of, which is very, very interesting. i believe that Uther always knew, in his heart, that Morgana would be a sorceress one day. i wonder if that plays into his complete expulsion of magic from his kingdom, but that is another ask and analysis lol.

but the information we learn about Morgause is very important. so, she had obviously been practicing magic her whole life, but she had also been given to magicfolk. this could easily mean that she had to study it, right? i doubt it. if Morgana had magic without studying it, it would make perfect sense if it somehow ran in the family. but! they have different fathers, so that only leaves one connection, their mother Vivienne. let's get down to the crux of my actual theory: i think Vivienne was a sorceress of some sort. it would explain how Uther would know of Morgause's magic, and why he would have any reason to believe Morgana would one day become a sorceress. i know i said this was another ask lol, but i wouldn't be surprised if this played into why he never told Morgana she was his daughter. she would obviously know that she wasn't Ygraine's, and then she might do some digging into Uther's past and everything, and he might've been scared that she would have discovered who her mother was and, furthermore her mother's magic.

but PAUSE: why would Uther have been led to believe that Morgause had died? assuming she was born with magic, which provides the simplest explanations for my theory, i can presume that Vivienne wanted her child to learn magic and become a High Priestess, a future i could only see her wanting for her child if she was some kind of sorceress herself. i do wonder if Vivienne was a High Priestess, but that i highly doubt, as interesting as it would be. and if Vivienne was a sorceress, and her magic most likely was passed on to Morgause, why wouldn't it pass on to Morgana?

AND CONTINUING WITH THAT: if they did "share" the same magic, it would also explain why Morgause gave Morgana the bracelet in the episode they first met. if they both experienced prophetic dreams, it is very probable that Vivienne did as well. so if all of Morgause's magic was trained, why would they share that trait? just another theory:)

moving on: personally, i don't actually think Merlin was the only one born with magic. i think it is very, very uncommon to be born with it, and it might have died out over time as the world developed and moved on from magic, but i definitely think he wasn't the only one to be born with it. the shock of him being born with magic (from Gaius, Arthur, etc.) i think came from two things:

misinformation spread by Uther to promote his "all magic is a choice and evil" narrative

how uncommon it is in the first place, so people probably wouldn't encounter it often or ever

real quick, before i give my grand summary, i want to take a short look at Mordred. when we first meet him, he is a young boy. we see him perform telepathy, but overall, if my memory serves me correct, i don't believe we saw him perform much magic. i don't know if Mordred was born with magic or not, and i don't think it matters. i just think that young children—outside of Merlin who was obviously a very special case, though we don't even know the full background of when his magic truly began manifesting itself in any sort of significant way—generally don't have very powerful magic. and if Morgana's magic truly was locked away, if her magic was so weak, how would it have ever made itself known before?

overall, though, here is what i believe:

i think Vivienne was a sorceress and her magic passed on to both Morgause and Morgana. when Morgause was given to the High Priestesses, she was trained to control and use the magic she already possessed from birth. because they were actively training her, she probably developed more powerful magic quicker, but we don't actually know anything about when her magic manifested, so that part is most a mystery. i do think, though, it probably became significant around 10 or 11, or perhaps when she became of age. but Morgana didn't receive that training, and was in an environment and situation where not only did she have no reason to think she possessed magic but it also would have been dangerous to possess magic. so, i think some subconscious part of her pushed it down, explaining how she only really experienced it in dreams for most of her time at Camelot, in a way that no one else could see or perceive, so it wouldn't endanger her. until, finally, her magic grew too strong to be contained any longer and it began lashing out in worsened dreams and acts of more physical and material magic, like the candle fire and the window. the reason why Merlin's magic manifested earlier than Morgana's can easily be explained in how exclusive Merlin's experiences were. he was the most powerful sorcerer in history, so it makes sense that his magic would be stronger and unable to be contained right off the bat instead of later on, when it finally grew enough as it did for Morgana.

well, that's all! pls pls PLS let me know if you have any more follow-up questions on this particular topic or any others! i absolutely adored this question because one thing that always irked me about the series was the importance of Morgause but the complete lack of backstory! we have really no idea what happened to her or where she came from, and all of the theories here are quite shaky and all dependent on 2-3 sentences pulled from one conversation:( i hope all of this made sense though, and i hope you enjoyed! (and im so sorry it took so long!! as i mentioned at the beginning, i actually already wrote most of this like a MONTH ago, but it got deleted, so i had to rewrite it all😭) once again, if there's anything else you'd like to ask, please do!!

[yandere-monoma]

I have a KYM fanart WIP I started before ch4, and I was using my own appearance headcanons in it. My strilondes are Black and non-albino, and in ch4 it’s a point that Rose and Dirk are naturally blonde (iirc it was already mentioned previously? But wasn’t a big point). What would you like me to do about it? Also yeah, humans aren’t known to have purple eyes either lol so they *could* technically be Black, non-albino, and naturally blonde

Also while typing this I realized a grave error I was making. For some reason I’ve always imagined Rose Strider to have purple hair (currently all my Roses have purple hair if the setting allows it; main beta Rose is currently pale lavender though, all the others more dark purple; not much thought, it just happened). But if she isn’t naturally blonde, she should have *bleached* hair. My Dave literally starts out with bleached hair and grows out his natural black hair on the meteor (not as in “natural=good, unnatural=bad”, as in “bleached is Dirk, Dave is not Dirk”).

And now I’m thinking about the “she should just be Dirk” from the note to the first chapter and thinking about making a new Rose Strider design (I did one aaaall the way back in 2017, iirc very close to me just getting into HS, and I still use it. Props to the 2017 me though for realizing very clearly that Rose would still have the triangle shades in 2009!!!), and just, incorporating so much Dirk into it. And thinking through her life and incorporating so much Dirk into it.

And now I’m thinking, for Dave it was fundamental to break out of the Dirkness instilled onto him, what will all that be for Rose, who is *actually much closer to Dirk*?

Oh oh and, since I’m here, I’ll put the things I’ve wanted to write in the ao3 comment here too, as much as it’ll work. I’m *so* fucking emotional over KYM. I found it accidentally (was looking for porn lol) and it has full force pulled me out of my Intermission hyperfixation I was miserable in and reactivated my investment into the Kids. AND THE STYLE. *Cal*. The commands. Screaming screaming screaming screaming.

Oh and. Question. Why is there no Gamzee’s color but both Dirk and Hal with Cal?

I do not think Rose Strider is entirely Dirk though, and I think Dirk raised by Bro would have been different from her too, including afab Dirk. Now I’m interested to think about that….

And the ch4 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I love Rose Strider. I love Rose Strider. I love Rose Strider. I love Rose Strider.

And I love Dave Egbert.

I also remember thinking a lot about SBURB and carapacians wrt the comment I’ve originally planned to write? But now I don’t think those thoughts are actually all that relevant and now I just want to sit and wait and read.

@_@ WHOA WHAT A SWEET ASK thank you!!!! mind blown seein this baby in my inbox today HAHA

god this got long i rly love rambling and i leap at any chance to do it about KYM so HAHHDFJKG

first of all KYM FANART!?!?!?!!! CRIES ACTUAL BLOOD OH THANK YOU 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

as for an answer to your question, hmm!!! i'm honestly honored to receive anything so i don't have many answers to that!! especially because my actual race hcs for the strilondes are.... incredibly fluid and they just appear to me as what's fun in that moment HAHADFJG sometimes they're white, sometimes they're mixed and/or white-passing, sometimes they're black, sometimes they're black and albino. i dont think their hair colors are an indication of their race at all, rather it's more just another cue to whatever mutations they received during the cloning process, like, no matter what color their skin comes out as, rose always tends to have white-ish hair while dirk is blond-ish to me.

so ig do whatever you'd like with that info!! it's hard to pick one option with that because i like them all HAHAFJG

(god i do love a lavender-haired rose though 😭 every rose fanart design i see is my favorite idk how people can just decide on one... thankfully for me tho im a writer and thus can just sort of vaguely dance away from ever having to choose LOL)

will say though, YEAH, the way she dresses is very dirk. her hair is styled exactly like dirk's, too. what she wears specifically, though, definitely depends, because.... well, cuz the thing with 'rose is dirk' is that, as you've pointed out (and as i'll go on about later), there's a difference between being dirk and being RAISED by dirk. especially a dirk who is bro. so it is just as likely that rose is wearing an outfit reminiscent to alpha dirk as it is that she's wearing a smaller version of bro's outfit as it is that she's just wearing jeans and a black t-shirt with some generically edgy bullshit on it. bro isn't as adamant to controlling his children's fashion tastes as some of his other things, the question is more... would rose be interested in branching out like that? or would she care more about copying him?

there's also a running joke with my friends that rose strider actually just dresses in playboy outfits all the time because bro is a porn-rotted pervert with a hentai addiction. so sometimes i just imagine her with shades, gelled hair and a sailor fuku. lmfao.

thinking about it, i think it'd be cute if rose had a shirt with just a black circle on it. or some of design based on the ouroboros, hmhmhm... decisions decisions thoughts thoughts...

And now I’m thinking, for Dave it was fundamental to break out of the Dirkness instilled onto him, what will all that be for Rose, who is *actually much closer to Dirk*?

it's fun watching everyone go insane going down the same mental paths i did whilst creating killswitch HAHAHJDFG... INDEED YES!!!!!!! you are absolutely right to say this... what does it mean for rose to go through the dave journey of breaking out of his brother's influence?

so what i'll say is this: KYM functions as a 'pre-canon' fic describing rose strider's backstory. if/when i get to continue on with the killswitch au, i will actually try and write down more of the details of their actual sburb session, where rose does get to go through a lot more of dave's actual plot points. dave starts off idolizing his brother before separation from him leads him to process his emotions about how he was raised. the same will happen for rose when she's in the game 🥰💖

I’m *so* fucking emotional over KYM. I found it accidentally (was looking for porn lol) and it has full force pulled me out of my Intermission hyperfixation I was miserable in and reactivated my investment into the Kids. AND THE STYLE. *Cal*. The commands. Screaming screaming screaming screaming.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOUUUUUU!!!! that means so much to me 😭 lmfao trying to find porn and accidentally getting obliterated is one of my fave things to experience on ao3. welcome back to loving our darling kids >:3 <3 and thank you for sharing your thoughts and your love!!! it makes it that much easier and that much more exciting to work on updates knowing i have people like you to write for 🥰💖💖💖 if you do get a chance to comment i cant wait to read them~ just the thought is super appreciated wah!

Why is there no Gamzee’s color but both Dirk and Hal with Cal?

a lot of it is just a coincidence from that particular chapter that gamzee's influence isn't seen as much! my approach to lil cal is that he is an imperfect blend of every component he's made up of, and all of those components are souls constantly fighting for control. however, because of the nature of their personalities, some are able to be more in control than others.

'control' can also mean different things: it could mean that they get to control lil cal's dialogue (most of his dialogue is very reminiscent of caliborn), while others get to control what lil cal will focus on in the narrative (lil cal goin on about bro's RIPPLING BICEPS and PECS and how MAAAANLY he is was a reference both to caliborn's alpha male bullshit and also arquius/equius)

only one half of gamzee was sucked into lil cal which i think has done very weird things to how he's been integrated. in some way, this has put his ability to influence lil cal at a big disadvantage, especially when he's up against such huge personalities like caliborn or dirk/hal. i don't think he's as easy to spot and i think considering the nature of gamzee's personality, he's not exactly running to 'speak' or grab for control. he's just chilling. but his influence is there!!! especially when it comes to type of violence bro is encouraged to enact

AKA!!!!!

sometimes the violence that bro enacts is because of caliborn but more times than not it is actually because of gamzee. gamzee intensifies bro's capacity to love and the way that twists into extreme excessive violence. caliborn's violence is aggressive, necessary, quick and blunt, which gamzee's is more random, more encompassing and, most importantly, WAAAAY more sexual. gamzee is the reason why bro is so willing to take and utilize drugs despite the way that contradicts alpha dirk's resistence to them and the reason he is still more than capable of expressing affection towards rose. bro obsessively obsessively Obsessively adores his little sister and this is all because of gamzee's yandere ass and we will see more of that in chapters to come >:3

.... anyway, to actually answer that question: there was no gamzee color there in ch4 because gamzee did not choose (or have the ability) to speak there

I do not think Rose Strider is entirely Dirk though, and I think Dirk raised by Bro would have been different from her too, including afab Dirk. Now I’m interested to think about that….

true!!! she's not >:3 such is the fun of nature vs nurture. rose can never actually be dirk because she's rose. she can also never be dirk because she was not raised in the middle of an ocean or raised in fuckin 80s era texas.

but also she IS dirk because she says she is dirk and because bro/dirk says she is dirk and because she is a dirk who was raised by a dirk (except she's not a dirk raised by a dirk, she's a rose raised by a dirk).

rose strider does not WANT to be rose, she does not want to be her own person (dirk does not want her to be her own person), she can't handle being her own person, she wants to be her brother. she wants to replace her identity with his. that is not psychologically possible which is half of why she's as fucked up as she is HAHA. rose is not a perfect clone of dirk. even clones would develop their own personality. twins can have identical dna and will still have their own personalities. it all depends on the circumstances of their experiences, theres so much that can define what makes up a person and that's really what i'm trying to explore with rose. just a whole bunch of identity fuckery hajfhgdjg

also AFAB DIRK W/ BRO IS DEFINITELY VERY INTERESTING because i think the difference between dirk and the beta strilondes is that when faced with their parental issues, dave assimilates and rose plays along. dave didnt try and resist his training. rose, when under the mindset that her mother wanted to engage in psychological warfare with her, didnt roll her eyes and ignore it and she didnt do a thing to shut it down. she engaged in battle!! she retaliated with her own mind games!! she took her passive aggression and returned it, which is why, to me, rose would take everything bro threw at her and try and return it tenfold.

but dirk hrmrmrmrmmm.... seems more naturally rebellious? and when faced with his own bullshit he argues against it, even while he's lowkey folding under the pressure. i think, in my interpretation of a brodirk plotline, i would use haldirk as an inspiration. constant bickering and arguing and trying to either grab for the upperhand or deflect whatever blows he receives, all while slowly but surely going fucking INSANE under the surface until it EXPLODES.

and like, listen, i feel bad for any strider child of bro's HJKDFGSDFG but i think dirk would hurt me so much cuz he wouldnt rly allow himself to have an outlet (which is relatable to me so uGHGHGH i FEEL ITTT).... i think out of all the strider kids he'd have the worst time with physical self-harm to cope and ugh the worst dysphoria too because of the ways bro would torture him about it (and he would get some of the worst bro torture imo too because at least dave is passive enough to not warrant punishment yknow and at least rose is strongwilled enough to brute force her way through much of the insults she gets. i imagine dirk would be rly weak to bro's verbal abuse and that on top of the physical and sexual shit UGH POOR DIRK POOR ALL OF THEM HONESTLY)

I GOTTA STOP THERE IM NOT TRYNA MAKE NEW AUS HERE LMFAO 🤣😭🤣😭🤣

BUT YEAH IM GLAD YOU LOVE ROSE STRIDER AND DAVE EGBERT THEY ARE MY DARLINGS MY ANGELS MY CHILDREN MY PRIDE!!!!!! i would still love to read your sburb/carapacians thoughts tho if you're ever inclined to share them 🥰 but YEAH

THANK YOU FOR SUCH A GREAT ASK THO AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT it's great hearing from you 🥰🥰🥰🥰

[lipstickontheglass1985]

got tagged by @horror-vampire to list 5 things that make me happy :)) thanks for tagging me! the og post was getting a bit long so im making my own - anyway here we go:

1. being able to feel the sun on my skin (this might feel minuscule but most of my april was gloomy as hell and ive really been noticing how a sunny day can really turn my mood around)

2. having a good meal with my friends (no matter if home-cooked or grabbed from a restaurant - eating is def one of those joys that get better once u share them)

3. slow mornings (the kinds where i can wake up relatively well rested and still have time to chill in bed with an anime episode of choice, make proper breakfast, and play dressup in my room for a while just to pick out an outfit i rly like - its just so nice to not have to rush before i face my day)

4. just being able to spend time with my friends - new and old, closer ones and more distant ones - in general <33

5. im aware im extremely lucky to be able to say this, but ive recently realized that being where i am in my life rn makes me feel very content - its the first time in ages when i finally dont feel like im waiting to be over with something, or holding out for something to happen, i can finally just live - even though its obviously not all sunshine and rainbows all the time, even when i happen to be feeling miserable at the moment, i still know id rather feel down in context of my specific situation than anyway else - and i wish u all that you also reach the point in life where u feel this way <33

whoa that got rambly, sorry! i unfortunately (or fortunately?) have a tendency to really ramble on those tag games cause i feel like elaborating on a lot of stuff. tagging: @bratmobiles @dishevelledghost @i-am-an-atomic-bomb @ratbefriender but obv no pressure etc etc cuz i get that answering tag games, though fun, can be a bit of a hassle ahah

[flovverworks]

returning to ydays post so gbf spoilers for the event for sure, probably mhyk spoilers too

Morimori: But what's so wrong about forgetting? It's not his fault. And it's not Erbsu's or Nerine's either. Even the past town elders were forced to make tough decisions. Running from reality and forgetting the bad things is how we as people can live happy, treeful lives. Drusilla: Are you perhaps encouraging me? Morimori: I thought that was obvious. Even if you end up forgetting Nerine, you're not to blame.

this EXCHANGE........1) nerine's entire thing alrdy had me bawling but. i was alrdy thinking about these topics since ive been thinking about type0 again...@_@ i DO run off akira rmbring the wizards & everything, i talked about this a while back, but it IS true that arthur&co forgot the old sage's face & name almost immediately. theres a lot of fanwork too revolving around akira being forgotten/forgetting too (more strongly in the forgetting side, while forgotten rly is mostly.....name&face. points to yorushika's usotsuki for the billionth time). riquet's anni card about riquet's book.....there is sage's book, so why not make akira's book too? 1.5 with them not telling anyone what actually happened that night, and akira silently wishing that someone will one day ask them about their story. ive had this thought for soooo long too about akira writing down everything they rmbr of the wizards&their world when they return to their world, in order to not forget, in order to not lose it. 'you're not to blame' did a number on me big time

Nerine: I'm not sure why, but it feels like this sort of thing calls for more than a… thing. Drusilla: You mean a story would be better? Nerine: Whoa, how'd you know? I was going to write one as soon as I got back to the forest! Drusilla: I thought it might be worth learning from your example as well. Nerine: My example? Are you going to write a story too? Then this trip'll be great inspiration! Let's have lots of fun until the very last minute!

which essentially goes into this exchange too,,,,,T_T rather than an item, writing a story......telling a story......even if its not read by anyone, something that you can read and remember.......memories fade, stories remain, all that....

Drusilla: Sigh… All I wanted was for you to experience normal town life. Nerine: Huh? But that's impossible. I'm with you, aren't I? That makes it too special to be normal. Drusilla: …! I-I'm impressed you can say such things without even a hint of embarrassment.

akira before vs after meeting the wizards (but rly.....voicing ur feelings rather than keeping them inside....T_T

Nerine: How am I supposed to smile! I don't want to say goodbye! We haven't even eaten cake together yet! I can't believe this is the end! That I'll never see you again! Drusilla: This is the worst! I want to spend more time with you! Forget being special! Why couldn't we have met under normal circumstances!

figaros fkng mahopa. school april fools. that one chocolate meeting place vday event. theres another time where akiras like 'will i too be able to wave goodbye while smiling?' or whatever but i cant rmbr which event it is. anyway i was BAWLING

Drusilla: Thanks to Nerine, I realized something. I'm special to Nerine, and she's just as special to me. But it's not just her—the crew, my friends, and my family are all incredibly important to me. And they all have people who are important to them. Everyone is special to someone.

;_; 2nd anni............................1.5.......................pt2.............................. everyone is special to someone.......

theres admittedly also the mhyk 3rd anni website txt,,,

Even fairy tales without happy endings can one day be cherished all the same.

gggggg i wANT THE HAPPY ENDINGS THOOOOO korwa is so right for always talking about that. either way the full text talking about weaving a tale and similar,,,,i havent read that anni story still but the cards with 'capturing a moment'...T_T anyway i have an entire side thought on "happy", especially in regards to pt2 focus charas but ill get into that when pt2 is finished im so emotionally drained after this event + today.

there IS also an entire subject on the forgetting in the event in regards to gran's feelings in current msq but ill take that on gran someday. also especially the first part.....in regards to the part in 1.5 that makes it iffy whether akiras alive or not (especially considering what the Common isekai plot is)........i have thoughts regarding all that & how brad looked at akira when speaking about nova + how faust thought nova reminded them of akira in that 'u r not from here' way, but i still havent read ch17 and overall i assume theyre gonna drop the entire thing on us during pt2? so ill come back to that l8r but in general. man. this event story........im not used to being the target audience this often, last time was sui?? and before that sincerely???? 3 events within one year....waow.....

anyway im drained

[cheemken]

whoa rly long haha thts cool tho!

wht abt overated mons u dnt like

Honest to God rn Charizard is on thin ice for me

Idk, I like Zard don't get me wrong, he was really my very first starter and I still have a Zard on my team w Swampert, but Jesus Christ can we calm down on giving him legitimately almost everything????

He already has two fucking Megas, then they give him a GMax form while the other two Kanto starters have to wait for the dlc to get theirs, they gave him a special Dragon Tera event in ScVi, they give Galar's champion a Charizard as if there aren't any other pkmn in Galar that he can have as an ace, now in the anime they gave this one guy both Pikachu and Charizard like damn really giving him the top two overrated mons hahaha I'm glad tho in SM/USUM they didn't give him his own special Z Crystal like the starters too cause man that would've sucked

Greninja,,, well, idk, I think he's okay, I just don't like how he's the only Kalos starter to have his own special form, but ig he's cool, I just don't vibe w him much maybe bc they're low-key trying to make him Zard II, but hey still cool ig hahah

I'm pretty much neutral on the other overrated mons, well, the ones people consider overrated really, Pikachu is okay but I just prefer Raichu, same w Eevee, I just prefer his evolutions, Gengar is dope my old main in Unite, I like his GMax form but like the Kanto trio he got both Gmax and Mega it would've been dope if he just had one (GMax for me really it's dope hahaha), but yeah hahah

[tmwcs]

hi!! guess who has just finished reading chapter 1 and 2!!! me!! it's me!!!

and i had a blast, even though the 2nd pov in chapter 2 took me off guard (cuz ofc i read the chapter first and then the note before it lmao) and i had to like get use to it, but the more i read the better it got!! so that was nice

honestly reading about hee's longing for yn since like the sec he saw her was GODDMANNNNN kinda moment, i absolutely loved how, idk if this is a good word but, obsessed he became with.. all of her, and the way he thought about her was also wow, he fell hard!!! seeing his perspective so far was rly fucking cool!!

also the ending?? eden!!??! HOLY SHIT, NOW I FINALLY GET IT, mhmm she is his paradise like heaven even, damn the name is very suiting indeed based on everything I've read so far!!!

thank u so much for the works!!! ♡♡♡

I'm so glad you're enjoying it! but there is more to come. Have you read MGR and MRE? they're all a part of the same series, MGR is the first arc, MRE is the second, and HHP is the third. Eden is a reference from MRE, just in case you hadn't read it (if you haven't, definitely worth the read, everyone seems to enjoy it bc of the plot and all the smut and fluff) . But if you have, tell me what you think. HHP is going to have a very good plot (a couple actually) and lots of smut and fluff. <3

I also love the idea of Heeseung/Ethan being obsessed with the reader, it sounds funky but i really do. because its not entirely unhealthy, he's just enamored by her appeal and personality and wants to be the one to take care of her. If you read MGR and MRE, you can recall the moments where he shows that. (MGR is the first of the series so his obsession is shown in a very very deep manner...the tension is like "whoa" someone even mentioned it on a post stating it was their favorite part) mine too :)

[thetreesareburning]

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? Yes. Yes I would.

2. You talked to an ex today, correct? Yes

3. Have you taken someones virginity? I have

4. Is trust a big issue for you? A lack of trust is a big issue for me

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? I don’t have a someone I like right now. Tbh.

6. What are you excited for? Summer.

7. What happened tonight? Watched some Netflix and contemplated too many things.

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? I think it’s unfortunate but y know, it happens.

9. Is confidence cute? If it’s genuine.

10. What is the last beverage you had? Coke Zero

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? A decent few.

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? Too manyyy.

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? Work on my movies.

14. What are you going to spend money on next? Nothing. I’m done spending money…. But maybe blue butterfly tea. :)

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? Nope.

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? Yes. Drastically.

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? Sean Dupuis.

18. The last time you felt broken? Today.

19. Have you had sex today? Whoa buddy next question.

20. Are you starting to realize anything?yeah. I need to live my life better.

21. Are you in a good mood? Yes I am for once.

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? I had the chance and backed out last minute.

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? Nope. Mine are brown and his are green

24. What do you want right this second? Matt Stone ;)

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? Say you’ll remember meeeee.

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? It is not.

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? There are a lot of other good qualities in a person I could fall for so yeah I guess so not everyone is funny.

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? My demons.

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? Yes. My sister.

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? If they deserve it.

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? Not at all. In fact, quite the opposite.

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? Yes. I think so.

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? No I love fuzzy stuff.

34. Listening to? A movie playing

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? Yes sometimes actually haha.

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? Having a grand old time I bet.

37. Do you believe in love at first sight? Sometimes. I believe in lust at first sight tho.

38. Who did you last call? I don’t call. I’m cool 😎

39. Who was the last person you danced with? Eugh. I couldn’t tell you

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? Cause I wanted to??

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? A long time ago

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? No? They’re not Ill?

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? All of them. Hahahaha.

44. Do you tan in the nude? No

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? Yes.

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? No I’m not 17

47. Who was the last person to call you? Some dude video called me and I declined

48. Do you sing in the shower? Sometimes

49. Do you dance in the car? Ofcourse

50. Ever used a bow and arrow? Yes I’m high school

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? Graduation

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? They can be but they’re also much more

53. Is Christmas stressful? Usually yes cause I never know what to buy for people..

54. Ever eat a pierogi? Yes they’re so good

55. Favorite type of fruit pie? BLUEBERRY

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? I never rly had a dream as a kid but when I reached 15 I wanted to make movies

57. Do you believe in ghosts? I do. Be nice to them!

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Yeah many times

59. Take a vitamin daily? Nooooo

60. Wear slippers? Yes

61. Wear a bath robe? Never I hate the way they feel

62. What do you wear to bed? A t shirt and shorts

63. First concert? Enter shikari

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Neither

65. Nike or Adidas? Adidas

66. Cheetos Or Fritos? Cheetos

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Peanut butter

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? You belong with me

69. Ever take dance lessons? Nooo

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? As long as it’s 6+ figures idmmmm :)

71. Can you curl your tongue? No

72. Ever won a spelling bee? Fuck no

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yes I’m a loser

74. What is your favorite book? Blue bloods series. Dead good man.

75. Do you study better with or without music? Depends how hard I have to study

76. Regularly burn incense? Noooooo, I have a diffuser

77. Ever been in love? I think so

78. Who would you like to see in concert? Pity sex

79. What was the last concert you saw? A rave

80. Hot tea or cold tea? Hot

81. Tea or coffee? Yea

82. Favorite type of cookie? White chocolate

83. Can you swim well? I like to think so

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yess??

85. Are you patient? Sometimes

86. DJ or band, at a wedding? Dj

87. Ever won a contest? Yup a few

88. Ever have plastic surgery? Technically.

89. Which are better black or green olives? Black

90. Opinions on sex before marriage? As long as it’s consensual

91. Best room for a fireplace? Living room

92. Do you want to get married? I thought I did idk anymore.

[yumenosakiacademy]

after i ate my breakfast, i decided fuck it, ill eat 2mrws calories in mainly candy again then eat 2days planned dinner later, but the cookies were rly addictive n after i did impulsively went “why dont i eat all the cookies i want, then 4 my meal plans over the course of the next few days, i subtract the fat from all the cookies im eating? n ill b rid of the cookies so i wont hav the urge anymore! boom!” but then i started eating skittles too since thtd also max out my fat content n then i eventually ate SO much candy tht i got sick of skittles (which r like.. 1 of my fav candies so. Whoa.) n i ended up craving bread 2 combat all the overwhelming sugar taste so i went n ate the hot dog buns in the kitchen 2 n long story short i ate, in 1 sitting: protein shake, 5 fun size bags of skittles, 30 mini cookies, 2 fun size bags of mini swedish fish, 2.5 hot dog buns, n a baggie of mini pretzels, n ive realized all of those calories r gonna store as fat IMMEDIATELY (esp all of the sugar n carbs id jus consumed) n 4 a lil while i was physically shaking from the sugar overload n prob from eating so much n now i vow 2 do like.... NO snacking 4 the next week n ill walk a lot later 2day n the next few days until im in physical pain...

edit: impulsively ate 3 honey butter biscuits bc i feared my parents wouldnt eat them why couldnt i hav even waited til dinner oh god im gonna get so fat even if i dont eat 4 the next week arent i hhhh

[sasshomaru]

I'm Mizrahi Jewish/Middle Eastern Jewish and here are some things to add:

if you're not jewish, chances are you're anti-Semitic without realizing it. most of us grow up in anti-Semitic societies, just like we grow up in racist, patriarchal, LGBTQ+ phobic societies. the best you can do is acknowledge this, do better, and support Jewish people.

not all Jewish people are white. there are Middle Eastern jews, Indian Jews, North African, North and South American, and well, everywhere we could seek refuge really

Ashkenazi generally means European Jewish. this means they kept religious and cultural practices per European customs and diets. Sephardic and Ashkenazi have some different traditions but we recognize each other and other forms as 100% correct. as an example, my family does a longer ceremony on rosh hashannah and we eat different foods (no potatoes and way more fruits!)

just like any other religious and ethnic group, we have different opinions on things. asking your Jewish friend "so what do you think of Palestine?" is just... insensitive and weird. if you wouldn't ask a Muslim person "so what do you think of Iran?" or a Christian person "so do you condone the Westboro Baptist church?" don't ask a Jewish person about Palestine/Israel unless prompted

avoid "Jews for Jesus" like the plague. these people insert Jesus into our religious holidays and seek to convert Jews.

goy/goyim comes from Yiddish, gentile is the English term. they mean the same thing. goy is singular, goyim is plural, eg. that person is goy, those people are goyim

honestly the only people i know who speak Hebrew have visited Israel or lived there at one point. if you can understand why someone who is Catholic doesn't know Latin, you can understand why someone who is Jewish doesn't know Hebrew

Hannukah isn't "jewish xmas" because it's really not a super religious holiday. in protestant christianity there's basically only easter, xmas, and maybe good friday. in Judaism there's Yom Kippur (holiest day of reflection and repentance), Rosh Hashannah (new year), and others. a lot of Jewish holidays have to do with celebrating and remembering events, and Hannukah, Sukkot, Purim, and Passover all fall under that category. Hannukah is really not as religious of a holiday, and at least in the U.S. it's only normalized to get presents during this time bc of xmas.

kosher/keeping kosher is a dietary law that not all Jewish people follow, and to varying degrees. i know some who don't at all, some who don't at all except they won't eat pork, and some who have two kitchens and won't eat dairy and meat in the same meal. it doesn't hurt to ask and if you're providing food for someone who keeps kosher, the best you can do is talk to them! maybe they'll only eat from kosher restaurants, or they're cool with vegetarian options. see what works for them!

im reading the notes and people are saying "go to temple! learn about our religion!" and like... im hesitant to say that u should attend our services. like i don't attend mosque or church for my muslim or christian friends. these people might be referring to temple which is generally less strict on laws and more spiritual. for me, i grew up going to orthodox synagogues where it takes years to convert to judaism and we are very strict about not converting people unless they absolutely 100% want to become jewish. it is against our religion to force people to convert (which is probably where all of the antisemitic "jews are secretive!" bullshit comes from). if you really want to ally yourself w the jewish community tbh reach into your purse. my old synagogue couldn't afford sabbath/shabbat meals sometimes; some communities don't even have their own buildings and have to use churches or community centers. you can also call and ask if there are any classes or educational resources you can find as a non-Jewish person. again, reform temples probably have more programs and resources for non-Jews than orthodox.

another way you can be an ally is to educate yourself! read books by jewish people, follow jewish people on social media, buy from Jewish business, just in general support Jewish people.

listen to Jewish people and call out anti-Semitism. you heard someone make a holocaust joke? call them out on it and report them if it was your school or workplace (or some other place where they can be reported)! your friend said "idk man, Jewish people just have control of everything"? call them out and tell them that's some anti-Semitic shit! you see Jewish people online calling something anti-Semitic? listen to them!

since judaism is an ethnoreligion, there are people who are athiest and jewish. i myself don't believe in god but value jewish practices and traditions and keep kosher. if you're not Jewish, don't tell Jewish people how we should keep our religion.

be wary of athiest rhetoric that's like "religion = bad, traditions = outdated." i have a friend who is athiest and during passover, i told him that i was avoiding bread that week and explained the history of passover. he was like "honestly that's some shit and why i don't get religion, like why would you make yourself suffer? your ancestors did that so you wouldn't have to eat matzah and unleavened bread" and i called him out and was like lol dude chill im not suffering, im a grown ass adult making my own decision and i Promise i am not suffering by not eating bread for a week and i will live and be fine lmao.

pickled foods, bagels, gefilte fish, latkes, ETC. are Ashkenazi food and not the only Jewish food that exists! every region has their own foods!

with more protests going on, don't make arguments or signs like "the bible ALSO says not to wear two types of fabric :)" and tbh i can't think of specific examples but basically the goal is to say "why follow the bible when these laws in it are outdated and no one follows them." Some Jews DO follow those laws. calling these laws archaic when real people follow them is anti-Semitic.

i can't think of anymore rn but feel free to add on

Hey not to sound stupid, but what's the best way to be a Jewish ally? Like, yeah I'm anti-Nazi, but I don't think that's the same thing as being pro-Jewish

im glad u asked! some quick tips:

-its ‘jewish people’ not ‘jews’ (if a jewish person calls themself a jew its their business but goyim Shouldnt)

-we aren’t all zionists! most of us are anti-israel so please don’t ask someone their stance on it when you find out someone is jewish

-goy and gentile mean the same thing and neither are slurs

-on that note, goy is singular, goyim is plural, and goyische is an adjective

-jews of color exist and are erased and underrepresented both by gentiles and other jewish people

-we dont all speak hebrew!!! i can only do a couple of prayers phonetically and some jewish people can’t even do that

-judaism is a culture as well as a religion-hanukkah isnt jewish christmas (its better)

anyone can add on to this, and if you need any other tips feel free to ask!

[h4rring1on]

Hiii I absolutely LOVEEE ur writing. Idk if I already sent you this request and I'm sorry if I diddd.

I was wondering if you could write a steddie x reader fic where Steve and the reader go with Eddie to a deal and the buyer is rly creepy with the reader and triggers a panic attack and the boys comfort her?

pairing: steddie x reader

warnings: obvi reader is uncomfortable and a little scared, buyer is hella creepy and really pissing eddie and steve off, swearing, panic attack, the boys being sweethearts

“please eddie!” you begged

“no!” eddie denied

you and steve have been begging eddie for the past 15 minutes to let him take you two with him while he’s dealing, you both wanted to see how he does it

you even made an unfunny joke saying you wanted to learn so you could do it do

yeah that didn’t really end that well

“come on, ed. do it for the girl! don’t you see her innocent eyes?” steve said

eddie looked to you, to see you looking at him, desperation in your eyes

“nevermind” you sighed, “let’s go steve” you sadly said, holding steve’s hand and walking away

“wait” eddie groaned

you and steve secretly smiled to yourselves

and now here you were, sitting on the bench with steve and eddie, waiting for the buyer

“this is so boring” you sighed

“does usually take this long?” steve asked

“honestly—no, don’t know what’s up with this guy. he’s been acting sketchy ever since we made the deal to meet here”

suddenly, the heard rustling from the trees

“hey—whoa whoa man!” the guy said, suddenly freaking out, “those cops??”

you and steve looked at each other with a small smile

“oh nah nah, they’re with me. you got the money?” eddie said as he stood up

“yeah” he said, you stood up too and stood nearby the man

the money suddenly fell to your feet

“sorry, dropped it” the man said with a creepy smile, he kneeled down to get it, and your eyes widened when you saw him looking up your skirt

you quickly moved away instead of telling them, so they don’t worry and make a big deal about it

steve noticed you acting off, he knew something was wrong

“got a lot of money, can i buy you too?” he whispered

you looked away, pretending not to hear

“oh i get it, you’re the slut kind” he said, “the one you rent by the hour” he grabbed your butt, making you gasp and move away

oh they definitely saw this one.

“what the fuck man!” eddie yelled pushing the guy away

your heart was racing, you breathing fast, you weren’t even aware of your surroundings.

“hey hey, whoa, baby” steve said, “breath for me, it’s alright, we’re here sweet thing, take some deep breaths for me” steve guided you, distracting you from the fact that eddie was beating the shit out of that guy

“that’s good, good job. tell me, what do you see, love?” steve asked

“i see…y-you, and the um—the trees, a-and the bench” you said, trying to calm down

“good job, baby! that’s great, you’re doing great.” he smiled at you, “why don’t you tell me what you can feel?”

your breaths were suddenly louder, and tears slipped from your eyes, “hey, hey, it’s okay, it’s okay. just take a deep breath and talk to me, babe”

you took some deep breaths, as you were doing that, eddie suddenly appeared in your view, his hands bloody

your breathing was back to the way it was before, “eddie? wh—your hands—“

“don’t mind my hands, doll. cmon, tell us what you feel, we’re right here, i promise you” eddie sajd

you nodded and tried to calm your breathing a bit, “i feel—y-you and stevie’s hands and um—i feel the j-jacket im wearing and—and…i’m sorry” you sobbed, “i’m sorry—i don’t know”

“hey, sweetheart, look at me” eddie said, “it’s okay, it’s all gonna be okay”

you slowly nodded, steve pulled your close, hugging you tight, he knew when your panic attacks happen, you usually like the comfort of being in someone’s arms

“it’s alright, babydoll” eddie kissed your head

you were slowly calming down, with steve stroking your hair, with eddie talking to you, with them both comforting you

“we’ll always protect you, baby” steve said

“always” eddie agreed

[sol-arize]

after Spamton moves into Castle Town, he quickly notices that something is slightly Off. just a bit off kilter. not about everything around him, but about himself.

then he realizes Holy Shit he's feeling more. lucid. kind of. he's still glitching and the ad ticks come out and his voice pitches shift– all that stuff. but he feels kind of. settled. like his mind is trying to process the fact that he now has some form of stability and isn't alone anymore. he can speak lucidly for longer periods of time, but it's rarely perfect.

he's like. what the Fuck?? it's a rly weird change for him. having a proper place to sleep is wild to him bc he hasnt had that in lord knows how long, but this seems like more than that. like he's "recovering" or something. but he feels odd saying "recovery" specifically.

then he starts having more trouble sleeping. he's rly not feeling too hot. actually– he IS feeling too hot. like he's sweating out a fever. as if he caught some virus or something. but that would be STUPID. RIDICULOUS. he literally cannot get sick with a virus. he IS spam and malware, after all. but holy FUCK does he feel like shit. somehow, his mind is still GOING AT IT, making him feel WEIRD. he feels not normal– well, not normal for HIMSELF.

when he meets with the Addisons one nights for some drinks at the cafe, they're like "whoa! you look like shit lol" and he's like "[I would like to thank the Academy] FOR ALL IT'S [$!$?] SUPPORT." but he's bothered bc well THEYRE RIGHT 😡

Pink is like "why do you look like that? i thought you were taking showers now"

these bitches are lucky Spamton got AT LEAST half the mind to not climb the table and smack Pink (plus his arms are much too short). but luckily Blue is like "ok but no fr why do you look....sick...? i thought that wasn't possible. or at least, that's what we assumed...?"

"[Search results not found.] IT'S FINE." which is obviously a lie bc he's Tired as hell and whewww he could fall asleep right at the table if his mind and body would sync up for some proper rest.

he's just going through it for a while. ups and downs but mostly Off. when he turns into Dealmaker, he's present and awake, but not conscious enough to say he's always aware. he sees what's going on, understands what's around him, but sometimes it feels like he's experiencing a dream. in those moments, he doesn't feel sick, doesn't feel like shit. it's when the rest time rolls around that he's like "what the fuck" bc it makes no sense.

he just doesn't feel right

[choptop-sawyer]

Hi again 😎💫 im here to dig at ur brain again bcs i. M. Aaa sorry i just love ur stuff but. I have this kinda rly specific storyline type hc area and I'd love to hear any hcs you might get from it if its at all jr thing. But um I keep sometimes thinking back to the idea of kinda, vaguely growing up in the same area as the Sawyers, being childhood friends (and being stupid 2gether, running arount the countryside, ditching school & playing in corn fields) -

But then having to leave in your late teens to school / whatever (I mean 😎 my sappy ass also thinks abt mutual pining w Bobby but you know...... nearly unrelated.......)

Then, later on (Bobbys now Chop Top, Nubbins is..... dead I guess but also >:( maybe not, the family is up to being a mess etc) returning to town to take a break from work or whatever. N meeting up w the family again, i mean, oblivious to the bullshit they get up to but.... yk

This is a bit rambly i should probs have waited to sleep but I can't get the thought of returning to the Sawyer door wearing Bobbys tie dye sweatshirt that hr borrowed u years ago and all the impact of being a former family member bc u were also kind of an outsider or whatever but also the drama of leaving so uwu sksjd

This got so long. All i wanted to ask is: sawyer family headcanons for a childhood friend returning to town after being away for years. Rip.

THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS god I love the image too of just standing in the doorway,, you're not home, you've changed a little bit, but you still fit into some of the old aspects you know so well they fit you and cover you.

Actually this is great because that fic that I swear exists has pretty much the same premise but!!! I can make this one less tragic than that one. 😎

(This is mostly Chop Top n you centric please don't mind)

Also this timeline is all fucky. I think that as soon as Chop came home from Vietnam the Sawyers had basically uprooted themselves and were living in North Texas because of the... Hardesty incident. But like can we pretend that that never happened they r still there in Newt? Just for this. (Hope you like it!)

Chop Top's Childhood Friend Returns

You don't think you would have turned out the way you did without the Sawyers.

They were the main element of your childhood, a mystery that you had to be a part of. A mystery, because they were closed off. Mistrustful. The sickness of small towns carried to the extreme, because they were mostly alone. The loneliness made them more miserable, the misery made them more isolated. A cycle, a legacy.

So it was a a miracle that you were even allowed to be apart of some of it, but you attribute that miracle to Bobby.

He seemed to think you were as much of mystery as what you thought the Sawyers were. Two kids looking through a small window into another world. But he liked that. He liked that you were something different, something new. From beyond that small world of loneliness that lived in the house.

You learned quickly that he had a desire for anything beyond that world. So he'd invite you out with him, when you were kids, to run free in the tall grass, when you got older, to drive with him to places unknown. He had a knack for finding these odd places, and he always brought you along with the music cranked up loud on the radio.

Bobby told you many times that he wanted to see the world. He had this lust for life that went beyond the restlessness of the young. He also said that he wanted to bring you along with him when he saw the world. You didn't ever mention how that always made your heart skip a beat when he said that.

Maybe you should have. But the past is the past and you can't change that.

You knew the other Sawyers too, but Bobby tended to avoid them sometimes. But occasionally, you got to hang out with them.

Nubbins was an enigma. You didn't think Nubbins was his real name. But that's the only one you heard from him, but the name situation was the least confusing thing. He was the most open person you knew. And yet you couldn't understand him, and decided at some point that you wouldn't ever. But he was fun. His energy was infectious, if he was filled with joy, you couldn't help but laugh with him too. That was Nubbins, so absent of any purposeful deceit that he was almost a mirror, you saw yourself around him, sometimes it was uncomfortable, but other times it was fun.

Bubba was the opposite. He seemed to be legitimately wary of you. Bobby once told you that Bubba didn't like to leave the house, ever. He stayed and did the chores. You wondered if he minded, being stuck with all the chores but Bobby said he didn't. It was comforting for him. Always having something set to do. You only saw him once. Nubbins had made him tag along when he needed him to hang some things from a tree. Bones from indeterminate animals, a clock with a nail through it. You don't think Nubbins actually needed Bubba to reach the branches (he climbed pretty well) but he just wanted his little brother to see his work. Bubba didn't make eye contact with you the entire time. He was wholly focused on his task of helping Nubbins. But he was gentle when he helped his brother, careful, and for that you liked him.

Drayton was... well. He was the one Bobby argued with the most. He was his brother, but with how much age between the two, it was almost hard to believe sometimes. Drayton was the one that everybody in Newt knew the most. People liked him well enough, but they said he was odd behind his back. He knew that. You don't think he trusted anything outside the insular world he and his family had existed in for years, and was at odds with Bobby because he didn't get why Bobby wanted anything to do with the world outside.

Oftentimes you would see Bobby after he and Drayton got into it. He'd be fuming, but he'd smile when he saw you. You'd leave with him whenever he came to you. These adventures were the most fun you had when you were there.

The other times you'd go off were when he'd convince you to skip school. Bobby never went himself. He didn't get the idea of all those kids sitting in classrooms for hours, doing nothing but writing and listening. Why do that when you can find things out for yourself? Get into some trouble? In his mind, he was saving you from a very boring thing.

You two knew the area around Newt well. The fields and the flat expanses were the best kind of playground. Your dreams were still set in them. A kind of sunshine filled melancholy.

Bobby told you things in the grass. His dreams yes, but his own thoughts. On music, on late night radio, on movies, on you. He perhaps thought of you as wonderful as voices on the radio, stars on the screen. He never told you that though. But your name was never far from his mouth when Bobby talked about the things he loved.

You and him loved each other as much as two kids who didn't know how to could. He was always on your mind now, with not much tangible objects to remember him with. A photograph taken by Nubbins, your faces blurred because you were laughing. A button, the pin on the back bent. A sweatshirt, which he tie dyed himself, and gave to you one night. The colors were faded. You never did get to return it.

The years away did nothing to lessen thoughts of him. No, they just blurred all together now, and the stream of the sunshine filled melancholy was almost endless. You needed a break. There was only one place you could think of that could help you with that.

So you came back. All things led back to this place eventually. Newt was dying, or dead. Didn't you see somewhere that when a ship went down, it took everything with it? You didn't want to stay for long. But you had to see all of them, you had to know that they were all not these strange figures you had dreamt up.

You went right to the house. You'd never actually been allowed inside, Bobby just always said something along the lines of 'Grandma and Grandpa are napping upstairs' or 'there's a mess' (never mind that he could care less usually about messes.) But you figured he had had a good reason. Maybe he was embarrassed.

When you knocked on the door, your heart was pounding. And that was all. Nothing happened, no indication that anyone was there. You waited, the sweatshirt was too hot but you didn't want to take it off.

Maybe you should come back another time. You were just about to turn around and leave when the door burst open, almost whacking you in the face. And there (you couldn't believe your eyes you couldn't this was a dream) he was.

Bobby had a hammer raised over his head, grinning, he was poised to swing it down, but then he saw you and he felt as if he was in a dream too.

It's been so long. He thought he made you up, a dream to carry him through misery, and you looked the part, even as you stood before him on the doorway. The light of the setting sun shone behind you, heat waves shimmered in the dusk, and you... you.

Facing each other, you stood, just staring. Over head the sky grew colorful, in the fields the grass whispered in the wind. Nothing had changed. Everything had changed. Bobby dropped the hammer and grabbed for your face, and he held it, fingers digging in so tight it hurt.

"H-hey you." He said, and fell to his knees, releasing your face. You numbly touched the marks his fingers left. Bobby still looked like a man who had seen a ghost.

You called his name, and his eyes looked lost, like he hadn't heard it in a long time. He looked up at you, and you could really get a good look at him. His face was leaner, he looked sickly and wiry, but his eyes were just as you remembered. You sank down to the porch to sit with him.

"Fuck... FUCK I didn't... I- I thought ya'd forgotten all about me... uh.. uhm. Fuck! I mean, r-really! Turnin' up out of the blue like you're some kinda... ghost or whatever... WHOA man... like, ya here to return m-my, my sweatshirt? You're wearin' it, you can keep it! You look better in it anyway... heh, fuck." He rambled on and on, hands tensing and twitching as if they were moving to touch you again, just to reaffirm your existence. Did he know how glad you were to see him? Did he know that you hadn't felt right for the longest time being away?

You forgot all about the sweatshirt, the hammer he had raised with a sadistic grin. You reached out and held one of his twitching hands, and he stilled and stopped talking. There was a peace now.

It didn't seem possible for your heart to feel this full. But it was. And by god, if this wasn't the best decision you made in your life to visit your old hometown, if only just for this moment.

Bobby stood, with your hand still in his, pulling you up. He smiled at you, and you knew you still loved him, and in your deepest heart, you knew he loved you too.

But this time around, maybe you and him could love each other right.

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

so I was the anon who requested that one Joel story and I gotta say it’s so good! it made me smile! if you could, please could you write some more fluff with Joel? I rly like his interactions with everyone ngl

i’m glad you liked it!! i hadn’t written Joel before so i was really hoping it was good lol

this one is intended to be a kind of alternate ending to Joel’s second death

…

SmallishBeans went up in flames

Joel sits outside what used to be his house, gazing at the notification on his communicator. He used to hate his yellow name. Now he misses it more than anything else.

Even more than his house, which, thanks to the fire, has completely burned down, destroying most of his things. He managed to save most of his valuables, except the diamond armour he had been wearing when he died, but all the resources and food he’s spent so long gathering is gone.

Along with his yellow name.

Finally, he gets to his feet and starts walking off but stops as he spots something lying on the ground. It’s a burnt scrap of fabric, and when he picks it up to inspect it, he realises it’s the Dogwarts flag Ren and Martyn gave him. Incredibly, the fire only burnt off a few inches off the ends; it’s still very much recognisable as the flag. And it reminds him of one particular thing:

He has allies out there.

Tucking the flag into his pocket, he sets off determinedly towards Dogwarts.

Unfortunately, the sun has just started to set when he leaves, so within minutes, there are mobs everywhere. Dodging around a pair of skeletons who have started shooting at each other, he takes off running to avoid a baby zombie, but he’s so focused on getting away that when he slows, he doesn’t notice another mob sneaking up on him until it’s almost too late.

The creeper explodes, sending him flying backwards. Now on four hearts of health, Joel picks up speed, ignoring his growling stomach, bruises on his knees, and aching legs. He’s about three seconds away from losing his third and final life.

Finally, he spots the walls of Dogwarts and puts on a final burst of speed, managing to reach the gate without any more trouble. He knocks loudly on the door, but gives that up and hurriedly enters anyway when he spots another creeper approaching him.

On the other side, he sits down heavily against the door, starting to shiver against the chilly night air. He’s battered, he’s cold, he’s hungry, and he’s upset. He doesn’t know how much more he can take before he gives up entirely.

“Joel?”

Joel glances up to find Martyn standing a little way off, lowering the sword and shield in his hands. “Geez, dude, I thought you were a mob. Are you okay? What are you doing here so late?”

Joel’s mouth opens and closes uselessly as he attempts to explain the last hour.

Thankfully, Martyn realises pretty quickly. “Oh no, you died, didn’t you? Did you come all the way here at night? Come on, I’ll take you inside.”

Martyn helps Joel to his feet and guides him down to the living quarters underneath Renchanting. He sits Joel down in an armchair near the dying embers of a fire, before fetching a blanket for his friend and reigniting the fire in the fireplace.

“You wouldn’t have any spare food, would you?” Joel asks hesitantly.

“Yeah, ‘course. Hold on a sec.”

Martyn again leaves the room and comes back with half a stack of bread, which he hands to Joel.

Joel gratefully gobbles up the first loaf, then starts nibbling his way through a second.

“Whoa, you were hungry,” remarks Martyn. “So what’s happened? How come you’ve travelled all the way here at the most dangerous time of day?”

“I didn’t mean to time it so badly,” starts Joel, pulling the blanket around his shoulders. “I just… I don’t have a home anymore. You saw my death in chat, right?”

Martyn nods slowly.

“Cleo dumped lava on my home. It burned down; it’s all gone. I only managed to save a few valuables.”

“Oh…” Martyn frowns sympathetically. “I’m sorry, Joel.”

“A few valuables and this.” Joel pulls the singed flag out of his pocket and shows it to Martyn. “Your banner. It reminded me that I’m allied with you. So I thought I’d come here and see if you’d help me.”

“I’m really glad you did come here,” says Martyn warmly. “We can help you get back on your feet.”

“In exchange for what?”

“Nothing but your continued loyalty. Joel, I get that you’re cynical, but we’re not a regime that demands everything from you but gives nothing back. Quite the opposite: all we want is your support and in return, we WILL take care of you. I promise.”

Joel’s slightly suspicious frown relaxes. He’s known Martyn for a while; he trusts him. “Okay,” he says, giving a grateful smile. “Thanks.”

Martyn smiles back. “No problem. Now, I’ve got a bedroom ready for you; it’s got a sign with your name on it next to the door. Fresh sheets on the bed and everything. Feel free to stay here in front of the fire for as long as you want before you head to bed.”

“Thank you, Martyn,” says Joel again. “I really appreciate your help.”

“Absolutely no problem.”

[gunmetal-ring]

11x08 notes

Cya l8r generic reaper bait

Nice teamwork Maggie and negan!

Storm is sad. Nice that we got a single frame of Carol I guess

Pope v Leah... uh oh

Nadia seems displeased that Connie is going w Carol and I feel like she'd still be displeased but not as much if she were going with aaron

Is anyone going with Aaron?! Or is everyone on wall duty lol

Something about Daryl in this lighting is like so ungodly hot like what is it

Yeah like.... they have mines and guns and grenades and shit like I know plot armor will get them thru but jeez

Aw judith is so fuckin cute I feel so bad for her like I know Danai had to leave but damn poor baby girl. Why is the window totally open?!

Lol Daryl shooting the shit with his coworker at the water cooler.... and then murdering him hahahahahhahahahaha. Tbh I'm surprised that Daryl was trusted enough to just go wandering off.

Alright who just got hit? Negan or Elijah? My money's on Elijah but I wish it was negan. You know they all seem like fully unconcerned with the fact that there's like fifty zombies ambling towards them and yeah OK the mines are killing some but the noise will bring others right?

As annoyed as I am at lack of caryl I'm glad rosita is getting screentime bc she's a badass. Also a little surprised nobody was like "No you can't go augh" "but I have to do this" Whatever back and forth bullshit ... wait omfg what if she got bit and we didn't see?!

OK hwacha is a good idea and like ancient Sparta style battle implements and it makes me wonder why team family didn't think of it during the whisperer war

The thing is I'm sure he was actually honest with her during the conversation for the first time ever. WHOA THERE IT IS again though I rly don't see any indication that he still has feelings for her. Like it's all just a desire to save her from herself/the baddies and protect his family

Leah's reaction is underwhelming....? Honestly can't tell if I'm supposed to read into it or if she's just not acting great but I feel like she's been a pretty good actress otherwise so idk

God I love Maggie really and truly wow. Such a badass

Yup I mean even without the spoilers it seemed like every moment of this scene was building to her killing pope. WOW WHAT OMFG HOLY FUCK I DIDNT SEE THAT COMING OMFG SHE BETRAYED DARYL WOW WOW WOW DID NOT EXPECT THAT RIGHT NOW. Her last mercy is not killing him where he stands and that's it. Also the Reapers rly seem like unconcerned about the walkers pouring in thru the gates lol Kang where is the sense of urgency

Awww judith the protector. Nice to remember Lydia is still on the show hahaha. Why is Gracie in the basement? Oh dear. Why didn't anyone grab coco BEFORE heading upstairs?!

Damm this is rly not looking good Oh no. Walkers in the house. I will say Kang is killing it with mini horror movies lol

Don't the Reapers still have guns?! How are they not just shooting everyone?! Where is the sense of urgency?! Oh mkay they're finally taking it seriously

If negan doesn't sacrifice himself for Maggie I will lose my mind

OK credits seems about right

Overall, good episode. Irritated that this is the cliffhanger bc 11x01 and 11x02 could have imo been combined. Although I feel like it's too early for Commonwealth to meet team family. Idk 24 episodes I think is plot wise maybe too long? Like maybe 20 episodes would have been better but idk if there's any further major plot points besides what I'm assuming are finish the Reapers, accept Alexandria is over/enter Commonwealth, usurp madam Commonwealth and shitty jagoff kid, and live happily ever after. Idk. Rambling at this point. Gr8 episode just a little late in the game imo

[thegeminisage]

just wanted to drop in to say how excited i am that you've started posting broken road! like, counting down the hours when you said you were posting this thursday & it making my night when you released it early kind of excited.

i want to leave a proper comment on ao3 later (once the whole thing's up prolly) but i couldn't contain myself until then bc! i've been following along since love & worship when you'd only posted a few extracts, and now!! it's here!!!

i hope it's not too weird to say when we don't know each other but watching you write so enthusiastically & consistently has really inspired me w/ my own work (+ the posts about your writing process esp your outlining & spreadsheet methods really helped me better than any advice i've got in years holy SHIT). like, the joy you clearly get from reaching for the achievements you want (like meeting word count targets) & from the sheer act of writing is so so wonderful that it kinda prompts me to want it for myself if that makes any sense?

i hope that wasn't overly familiar, but anyway i'm so glad you're experiencing all these ppl overflowing with love for your fic rn, because from the first chapter alone WHOA does it deserve it! felt like i was some middleaged dad watching a football game while i was reading it, just out of my seat pacing with my hands on my head during the dinner scene & booing and hissing while john was talking about dean being a “neat freak” & exploding into utter pandemonium of triumphant yelling when my boy sam guessed about the mulligans...

oh my GODDDD anon!!!!!!! this is such a kind message, i’m so fucking thrilled that you wanna get into your own stuff, that’s like the v best thing to hear. i rly do love to write & it makes me happy when other people do too. dw, it’s def not over familiar, i’m really happy to hear it <333

also THANK YOOOU HOLY CRAP i can’t wait to reply to all my comments (which i am going to do after i finish up the epilogue) but it’s been such a wonderful day and everyone has been so ridiculously nice and AAAAA. i’m so glad u enjoyed it, i’m really glad the first chapter wound up being so long so it could make up for such a long wait, i can’t believe you’ve been following along since november!!! thanks for sticking with me and reading it, i really appreciate it <3