#who was. yk. the actual authority of the country

[wonder-worker]

Friendly reminder that Francesco Coppino and Prospero di Camulio, contemporaries who were literally getting their information from predominantly Yorkist circles, were both explicitly clear that it was Henry VI who decided to surrender Berwick to Scotland.

Camulio: "King Henry has given away a castle [town] called Berwick, which is one of the keys of the frontier between England and Scotland." Coppino: "[Scotland has] received from the same Henry the town of Berwick, on the frontiers of Scotland, which the Scots have long claimed as their right from the English, as the excellently well furnished guardian of their frontiers, and the place to which King Henry repaired as an asylum after the battle."

The idea that Margaret of Anjou was principally involved in the surrender, or that she was the one who actually made the decision, is based on nothing but assumption. Two direct contemporaries, both speaking of ongoing events as they unfolded, who were both getting information from Yorkist-held England, both clearly believed it was Henry who was responsible for this course of action. Neither of them mention Margaret. Sure, you can argue that it was merely rhetorical, and that they were simply automatically attributing such an important decision to the King rather than the queen - but rhetoric is nonetheless extremely important and helps us understand how historical figures were perceived at the time. Margaret's enemies would surely not have hesitated to broadcast her involvement had it actually been true, and Coppino in particular had shown no qualms about criticizing her in favor of the Yorkists before. If she was genuinely believed to have been responsible, and if the Yorkists were actually claiming that she was at the time, I see no reason why Coppino or Camulio would not have emphasized her role in their letters. What these samples instead indicate is literally the opposite: that their contemporaries - probably including the Yorkists who were putting out the information that Coppino and Camulio reported - actually believed that Henry was the one making the decision. I think it's a very large and very unnecessary stretch to go against actual evidence and claim otherwise by placing the responsibility on Margaret instead.

Additionally, these small samples may also reveal what people at the time - once again including the Yorkists - actually thought of Henry's role in the war on a broader level, away from direct Yorkist propaganda which would obviously and perhaps understandably seek to de-emphasize it: namely, that Henry was perceived as the one making decisions and deciding the courses of action for his own side.

Source: Excerpts from the Calendar of State Papers and Manuscripts, Existing in the Archives and Collections of Milan

[mudpuddless]

I saw a couple tags with king Halt AU and I am interested now 👀 (if you need someone to blab to about this)

okay. listen. i was rereading the early years and halt rescues duncan but refuses to call him highness and duncan gets mad, the canon dialogue is pretty much just,

halt: you-

duncan: YOUR HIGHNESS

halt : i preffer to be called halt, actually

(this is the base idea: this scene is doubly funny if halt were also crown prince)

so picture halt swimming back to shore after ferris tries to kill him and deciding actually he doesn't want this idiot in charge of his country.

halt has had about four years of ranger training on top of royal battleschool at this point and ships ferris of to the countryside, names Caitlyn as his successor to the throne and convinces his father that he should aide araluen (read: the rangers who kept pritchard informed) for diplomacy reasons.

his father thinks this will be a good lesson in war craft for the crown prince and sends him on his way.

halt and Crowley meet in the inn just like in canon while pritchard, who travelled with halt to araluen, makes his way to berrigan who was his main contact and then the plot kicks off (canon slightly to the left) halt is still halt but with the full authority of the clonmel crown behind him. he just doesn't tell people. surely this won't result in any silly situations.

big change might be that daniel, who still dies, asks halt to look for his wife, who is heavily pregnant and halt goes to find her, but presented with a baby who has no living relatives he knows of he just takes baby will and disappears him to Hibernia? Caitlyn loves her nephew. halt insist that will is not his son. will is absolutely his son and no one will be convinced otherwise.

halts father/ the king of clonmel declares Will fourth in line to the throne bc what else are you supposed to do when your heir goes to fight a war for eighteen months and returns with a baby. the king isn't an idiot, halt.

i want at least one scene where an invitation is extended to the Hibernian kings for princess Cassandras first birthday and Caitlyn shows up to represent clonmel and bonds with crowley bc they have a similar sense of humour (compatible with halt). crowley refers to halt only by "Arratay" and Caitlyn only by "my brother". they think the two should meet though crowley thinks halt doesn't know how to behave in the presence of royalty.

this would be even funnier if it was cralt/craltine (geometrically accurate love triangle my beloved) bc crowley is fawning over halt and Caitlyn unknowingly sets them up by encouraging crowley to tell his friend how he feels.

at least one scene would be halt and crowley visiting Crowleys family which is big and loud. halt is immediately a favourite of Crowleys kid sister who thinks he is the funniest person who ever lived. halt is stumped by this

the rangers are also 100% the queerest group of people in the entire country. berrigan and Leander are established and not subtle about it. at least one person is only referred to by ranger, never by any pronouns. this is never remarked upon.

the problem im still trying to figure out is how I can merge canon post TEY. halt returns to clonmel bc he has to check on his family and also bc, yk, the infant he now cares for and virtually disappears from araluen. crowley and pauline are upset bc they dont know what happened. this would be even funnier if this was craltine and they just had a highly emotional moment and then the final battle happens and suddenly halt is gone and no one knows where.

if this was really cracky they would tag along as security/diplomacy detail for duncan when he is invited to halts coronation but then again, we're not catholic so I might as well. could be fun

feel free to add anything you might find funny/devastating etc.

[angy-grrr]

okay im actually tired of ppl pretending it’s the same. “Izu///ochas and togachakos reduce Ochako into a love interest the same way!” “If deku was running and saying Bakugou was his hero then bkdks would see it as romantic so they are actually canon”.

Just, stop. Queer and hetero ships are completely different, and there are different things expected from them; if ppl focus too much on the ship side, then yeah, characters do get ignored and reduced to romantic plots, but it’s not the same. The hetero couple is not only expected but most of the time reduces the female character into the romantic subplot exclusively. Izuku and Ochako dating would make her whole arc not be about learning to be a hero and accepting her own feelings, but about dating him as her conclusion would happen “thanks to a romantic confession and getting with the boy”; so many ppl are angry bc she didn’t confess so she’s still “holding back”, but she isn’t, because she already admitted those to Himiko (yes, that time she told her she fell for him). If she was hurting mainly because of not telling him she likes him… that’s not the same as hurting mainly because she likes a girl. It’s just not the same, in any way.

And the same goes to the other sentiment -we expect queer coding, not straight forward confessions, hugs and kisses like hetero shippers can hope for. So we over analyze their interactions basically out of necessity knowing the possible context -if they are meant to be romantic, there are many obstacles to make them just confess, so we, especially shippers who are also queer, try to pick up on clues. This isn’t exclusively something in BNHA, it has been happening for a long time ever since there were policies and laws against LGBT+ representation in movies and TV shows in many countries; queer coding is a way for the authors/writers/creatives/etc to say “if you know, you know” (there’s also a history of queer coded villains for the purpose of following the same laws, but yk, the creatives behind many of them certainly knew a lot about queer stuff in their private lives…)

But hetero ships don’t need any of that -they don’t need secret codes and secret messages confirming canon romances out of fear of consequences. They are a boy and a girl! What are the consequences? In this particular case too, there are some ppl misinterpreting shippers on purpose -not understanding why bkdk handhold is a big thing not bc it’s a handhold, but bc of their history with hands, or believing Ochako was exclusively doing her job as a hero when she went for Himiko. So. I’m just angry at ppl for comparing these ships as if straight and queer narratives are the same. EDIT: I’m also tired at ppl for believing an author can write a manga weekly for 10 years and follow the original idea of what the characters were about and represent.

“oh but how could Midoriya be the greatest hero after all of this” I’m sure hori doesn’t know bc in 2014 he had a different idea for the ending -more typical shonen with him being the best hero in the world, and now he isn’t even the most popular among his classmates-, so know he is stuck with that narrative haunting him and can’t ignore it lol

[my-pjo-stuff]

I already talked with @mrfandomwars about this on Discord but yk what personally cracks me up as a German? Yk what fucks me up just thinking about it? Luke would probably have been fine had the guy been German.

Unirnonically. I am completely serious with this statement. Hear me out,

"Why would you say that?" you ask? Well, easy. May Castellan (among other things) would not have slipped the system. Listen, nothing against her- god knows that he is a loving mother by all means- but we all know she wasn't fit to raise her son. May Castellan and her fate is (in my honest opinion) the root trauma of Luke and what started up his resentment towards the gods with would grow in the future. Not only was Luke failed by the gods as a whole there, but he was also failed by US society as a whole. The system of child protective services of the US did not notice May and her unfitness to raise her son, which left Luke completely at her mercy. And now why do I say he would have turned out better had Luke been German? Well, let me explain. I am German, and as such I can explain to you that over here in Germany we have a little something called compulsory school attendance. May Castellan, due to her mental state, more likely than not wasn't really able to enroll Luke into a normal school. In the US where homeschooling is allowed happens that didn't really raise any red flags.

But in Germany? Luke not enrolling in a public or private school would have caused red flags to rise (unless he just straight up wasn't documented at birth, which I doubt since at that time May was still of sound mind). Children from the age of 6 HAVE to visit school until either A) a certain age or B) until they finish school. That's an actual law. Luke not being enrolled would alert authorities who'd most likely visit May sooner or later should Luke remain out of school. This would have revealed May's unfit mental state, and as a result caus the Youth Welfare Office (german CBS) to take Luke in. And even if Luke had (somehow) gotten himself enrolled at school with the age of 6, the teachers most certainly would have noticed something off about his home life causing the Youth Welfare Office to visit yet again. Now I'm not gonna say that the foster system is perfect- by all means it most deffinitly is not! It never is in none of the countries of this world! But Luke at least would have gotten a therapist and a support system to some degree. Even if the poor boy would have been traumatized already by his poor mother. Luke would never have had to live on the streets in this AU. If we go with the "normal" route of Luke being adopted into or fostered a normal family he'd probably still visit Camp sooner or later though. Even if Hermes himself was the one to facilitate it. The thing is though that in this time line Luke never would have met Thalia, and never would have had to see her die. Thus eliminating another major point of hatred Luke had for the gods. He most likely wouldn't have been a year-rounder either. Considering how here he was someone to return to. The failed quest and Luke's treatment after also were a major point of hatred. Thing is, in this AU he would have returned to Germany after the summer where he most likely would have gotten some sort of therapy, or at least had a support system in place. He also would have been removed from Camp itself and brought into an environment where little to no other person would have known about Luke's quest. They wouldn't have pitied him for it. The scar could have easily been explained with an accident during summer for which he MAY have felt like he got pity, but it wouldn't have been as strong as he had in camp. Luke also would have been able to be taking a break. Put some distance between himself and the quest, aswell as with the rest of the entier immortal world. Considering Luke has been fairly well-adjusted and is on a straight-up different CONTINENT most the time Kronos may not even have found it worth it to contact him. What for? The kid has a better support system than quite a few other demigods and isn't even in camp most of the time. There are other demigods easier to manipulate who are more present to help him with his plans. Luke may visit Camp at pretty odd times too, since the German summer holidays don't always line up with the American ones. The dates vary from the different german states, but for me summer starts on the 23th of July and ends on the 1st of September. As far as I know the American summer holidays start somewhere in May already. Why am I saying this? Well, Luke being at Camp at relatively odd times (where not many other demigods are also there susually) and otherwise not even being in the US would mean he probably wouldn't have been made Head Counselor of the Hermes cabin. Thus getting rid of the THIRD major factor or Luke starting his revolt since he just isn't pushed into that caretaker role where he witnesses all the neglect from the gods.

In fact, Luke most likely wouldn't even have been in camp when Percy would have arrived in TLT!

Germany has 3 different forms of schools over here who each takes a different amount of time to finish. The school taking the longest would see Luke graduate at around 18-19 years old. The same age he was in TLT. Luke after graduating most likely either would have gone off to university or would have started an apprenticeship for a job. And that's where it ends. Luke would have grown up to be a fairly normal Demigod. Of course he wouldn't have loved the gods in this. NO WAY would Luke EVER come close to even liking them. He'd still hold a grudge because of his mother. But he probably wouldn't have gone full on revolution with Kronos either. Hell he may not even have been the Hero of the Great Prophecy since he wouldn't really have had much to do with Kronos here. So, what do we take away from all this?

Luke was not only failed by the gods, but also failed the the US society and it's child protective services who overlooked May.

Anyway German Luke for the win.

[quidfree]

i love the old married couple portion of your follow up to sober ii (melodrama)! outsider povs just tickle the brain, especially in tsh where the characters are so just disconnected from normal society. out of curiosity, have you thought any more about how students/peers/other people view francis and richard throughout that au?

i love that portion too i think the idea of them as this long established couple (for all intents and purposes, altho they may have deviated from certain aspects of a nuclear family monogamous relationship) is so funny & interesting. like sober ii already does so much legwork from canon and then the followup even further so by the time we hit middle age it’s a free country for what is allowed.

you’re right in that the tsh cast are deep weirdos to anyone normal interacting w them. i think they have naturally changed somewhat by the time we reach them in that portion bc for francis he’s now (gag) middle class and sort of domesticated / for richard he’s like.. in a long term relationship w a man (it’s funny they have reverse things to get used to) & plus yk there’s the whole thing where they’re both deeply troubled individuals with abusive childhood drama and bad relationship history so probably sticking it out together has done some healing / good down the line. so in some ways they’re a little more Normal mentally. but that said they are still weirdo murderers with terrible personalities who would both annoy and enable each other so not that normal.

talking abt how they go from sober ii to where we see them in their 40s is a separate post so in terms of outsider pov specifically i’d say they do kind of stick to themselves (codependent freaks) but like in the neighbourhood / on campus / in montreal classics circles they def have relationships and certain uhh reputations that go with them.

richard’s students are a fairly niche group so i think as a whole they tend to like him- if nothing else he’s genuine in his love of the material and he’s attractive and kind of reserved so he’s probably at his least annoying / cringe / questionable when teaching despite his inner monologue. he probs has bad timekeeping (cf his flop job at hampden) and pretentious grading but generally okay. we know he comes across much more sane and sound to people who don’t know him well (very tartt, we love). and then they don’t know francis at all apart from Maybe as f. abernathy the classics translator guy. so realistically to the students they’re actually quite a cool addition to the student rumour mill. i think over the years there have been random glimpses of them but never anything interesting until the fic incident, or similar ones that make it obvious professor papen has what seems to be a boyfriend. then everyone is ‘literally obsessed’. i don’t know if anyone ever IDs them as witnesses to the hampden murder-suicides on a true crime podcast and then gets excited about their tragic backstory and inspiring romance, but that would be fun.

professional peers see more of them obviously, but they do still keep to themselves a lot. richard’s colleagues’ opinions vary depending on how much interaction they’ve had with him and in what context, bc he definitely has beef with administration and some colleagues whose courses he doesn’t respect. he’s professionally respectable though. francis is a fairly lowkey presence in translation- he got initial buzz from the julian student clout but he only sporadically networks. he definitely has culture friends who gossip amongst themselves about him vanishing from boston so close to the wedding and no one hearing from him until his book got published. alex from NY wants to fuck both of them but finds them annoying as talents and good in small doses as friends. most of that author circle is at least a little jealous of them as a couple, maybe because they flourish when amongst people they can close ranks on.

in terms of other canon charas… some of that feels like its own post too. judy does not particularly get why richard is into francis but she thinks they’re a hot item and she overall likes them and their weird little bohemian* lifestyle (*misrepresented). she thinks they’re a good match. charles would not have very nice things to say. i think he’d think richard ‘fell for it’ with francis. his own complicated relationship with francis would predispose him to think they weren’t a genuine item. if he saw them down the line as an established couple he would probably just find it funny. and camilla… she’s sort of like “good for you crazy kids”. like it’s completely random to her but it tickles her nihilistic brain. later esp if she’s around them in person for some reason she’s just completely on board with it and has a strong fondness for their relationship bc it’s like, this one weird positive thing to have come out of the whole hampden disaster, AND it’s taken a lot of the strain out of richard’s relationship to her even though he never especially lets go of his camilla-shrine. richard’s naturally Very Embarrassed about being in any way datey with francis around her but it tapers off with age/habit despite his best efforts. francis on the other hand perversely enjoys making richard uncomfortable around camilla. guess which one she enables.

[kapi-tanka]

what do you think about arcade gannons father? do you have any headcanons or just thoughts in general? i've seen your posts about his mother so yk just curious

sorry it took so long to answer! actually i had a similar conversation with my mutual not so long ago so i'll just copy my discord messages if it's okay with you lol... i don't know what else to add. at first i wanted to write a separate answer to your question but i guess there's no point in repeating myself in slightly different words also sorry to any marxists who get to read this. my understanding of politics is still far from confident but i try to educate myself as much as i can. TEXT VERSION UNDER THE CUT

omg i'm by no means an authority but i really appreciate it!! hmm but what are you interested in exactly? i think i've covered my headcanons on arcade's mom pretty well in one of my comics but his dad's still a bit mystical figure to me. but i have a couple of headcanons based on info from the ttrpg fallout game where arcade was josh sawyer's player character. like, i headcanon his name as mark because it was his name in the ttrpg (and i feel like some people do that too) and it seems that he knew some latin or at least a couple of latin phrases (and maybe mark even was the reason why arcade learned latin later, that and his medical education). and since cannibal johnson says that arcade reminds him of gannon sr. i feel like he was a pretty educated person too. and it may be a bit weird/hard to explain/very post-soviet of me and i'm not sure if it's even a thing in other countries/regions but i've always read gannons (or at least mrs gannon) as "intelligentsia" (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intelligentsia). basically, a social class of the "minds" of the state who were privileged enough to get good education and, therefore, important positions in the state, primarily in science/arts/education (it's not a separate class actually, they mostly were bourgeoisie/petite bourgeoisie or on the border with the working class). education was almost inherited in such families because "intelligents" gravitated towards each other and subconsciously taught their kids the same ideals/automatically gave them some of their cultural capital. so yeah, it was pretty elitist in its core but intelligentsia was generally very politically conscious (because they had opportunities to learn in-depth theoretical politics and not only the propaganda for the working class). i obviously oversimplify it and all of this was much much more nuanced and complex, but i hope it still makes some sense and we have very tragic associations with intelligentsia here because when the soviet regime started to shoot itself in the leg intelligentsia was the first to leave the country/be imprisoned/executed/repressed in many other ways. because, again, they were educated enough to critique the state in "dangerous" ways (and many intellectuals helped to shape the communist revolution in the beginning so their importance was originally in this ability to provide state criticism). i know that the enclave is nothing like the ussr in terms of their politics and roots but i feel like similar social classes form in other secluded states too (and something similar even happened to veronica in the brotherhood so. yeah). and i feel like the enclave went through the same process of staling within itself due to lack of contact with the outside world soooo its policies became more and more right-wing with time. and gannons were somewhat oppositional even before mark's death and mrs gannon's parting with the enclave. like, we know that cannibal johnson was openly anti-enclave and even sabotaged his missions. and also cannibal johnson says the nicest things about arcade's father so i think that they had to share political views at least in some way. but mark gannon has to be much more complex than this, not all sugar and candy of course. i feel like he went through a "going anti-state" arc and was much more right-wing in the beginning of his military career and before meeting his wife (also i headcanon her name as daniela because "daniel" was originally arcade's middle name) sorry for the wall of text!!! i can elaborate on anything (also lol. it reads as very anti-communist but i didn't intend it that way. i'm an anarcho-communist myself but i think it's important to talk about war crimes of any failed regime, especially the one you want to work properly in the future)

yes same!! honestly i don't think arcade remembers him well. because everything arcade says sounds more like something other people told arcade?? and in my headcanon he internalized his mother's and other remnants' sentiments and opinions to a point of having fake memories about his dad (but i think it was mostly the remnants who formed this conflict, i see his mother as a silent and a bit avoidant type because she never told him what happened to mr gannon). i still can't figure out my own timeline for arcade's childhood but i thiiiink they left navarro when he was around 5-6 years old cuz arcade says in one of his quotes that he had to hide his association with the enclave for 30 years. plus i believe that he said something about moreno living half of his life on the wastelands already but still grieving the enclave

i think mark was mostly busy with missions to spend any time with arcade. but i don't see him as a particularly bad father, just a busy kind

like, maybe they've had so little time together that arcade remembered some moments very vividly but overthinked them? sometimes memories become foggy because you spin them in your head for too long. for some reason i feel like this happened to almost every arcade's memory of mark

[st-just]

oh did you want long angry rants for the unrecommend ask meme hm. oh I know. I unrecommend yu/wu (余/污) it's this chinese bl webnovel and...

look on a moment to moment level it's really fun to read, there's chekhov's guns set up in the first 10 chapters that are set off in the last 10 the whole book is very dense with reveals etc and parts of the character work was very compelling. but like. once you finish it and actually start thinking about it the whole thing is just so, so thin. everything is internally consistent within its own logic yk.

like first the entire book focuses on how rotten to the core the nobility of Chong/hua is how awful, selfish, fake everything there is... aaaaand the entire climax was a "yeah the nobles squabble in peacetime and all but when faced with an existential threat they all band together and work like a well oiled machine :) :) :) oh you expected the ending to have some resolution to this conflict? fuck you we've installed a new emperor that's shown throughout the story to also be corrupt but we have a threat to keep them in line. they'll slowly reform the system :) :) :) we have to go with this though bc the new emperor's the best option possible... if we keep to the made up rules about only being able to choose from the imperial bloodline. even though this existential threat has shaken up the country enough that you can probably get away with someone else. or not having an emperor at all. you know" (poking at the worldbuilding [or like. anything not on a character level] of romance webnovels is an exercise in frustration but I keep finding myself doing it)

(there's a reveal involved with the new emperor that could be read as transmisogynistic but it was such a nothing reveal - happened at the end of the story so there's not much done with it - that there isn't really anything interesting to say about it)

+ one of the main protagonist's motivation is literally "he was born as a slave and wants a better life for his fellow slaves and to prove slaves are just as competent as nobles in xianxia!fighting" so you'd expect it to yk. do much of anything about it. or at least not fumble it given the focus. but like later literally all the major + powerful characters ended up having noble blood and all 3 of the non-noble characters who were subtextually positioned as "see they're also super powerful and they don't have noble blood".... ended up having noble blood. from the top noble families no less. which. yeah not a fan!

also this is likely unintentional (I think the author just likes writing about dubcon/noncon relationships which I mean all power to her) but there were 3 mlm relationships in this book and every one of them except the main couple involved one sexual abusing (or otherwise predating on) the other so. yk. don't like that.

+ a major source of conflict between the two leads is "the protagonist that was born as a slave finally couldn't stand the cruelty of Chong/hua and defected to an evil empire, killing a bunch of the Chong/hua's soldiers, stabbing the other protagonist in the chest, etc."

but like the way that was resolved is literally "oh turns out he didn't do/had a Secret Good Reason for doing/isn't the one at fault for All That" which. let him have done some bad things for christ's sake I mean first saintlike perfect characters just aren't all that interesting to me but also why did he have to be perfectly innocent and not at fault at all to not deserve all that was done to him. couldn't he have done everything he's accused of and still not deserve how he's treated dammit.

also I said the amount of chekhov's guns are supremely satisfying and I stand by that but also it makes everything loop back to the protagonists which makes this whole-ass kingdom feel so goddamn claustraphobic this is an entire country why is there only like ~20 actual people in here

(tbf on a purely character level most of the folks that actually get characterised are characterised pretty well but the number of those are... small considering the scale of the story. also this doesn't help how flaccid the slave plot ended up being considering there's close to no slave in the plot that is given interiority. there's an entire army full of them but they're treated like a collective)

and there's the typical chinese ableism towards the mentally ill/etc (background radiation of my life) + distasteful genre tropes but I came in expecting that so

(although I would argue the Ontologically Evil Empire's effects on the story is notably worse than average)

plus like I love melodrama but even with me the prose felt so cloying and exaggerated I can't articulate it but I was getting a toothache reading it. although I see folks talk about how gorgeous the prose is so hey maybe it's a taste thing.

+ this is a neutral judgment but whenever I start doubting I'm asexual I think about this book and immediately am sure again. the thirst is like some gravitational force that everything in the story bends towards itself which. glad other folks are happy not my thing though.

anyway yeah *offers this rant like a raccoon* there's other stuff but that's mostly nitpicking. generally I describe it as "really fun in the moment-to-moment if you're the target audience but once you start thinking about yk. everything else it's just more and more. why was it like that. why was it written this way."

tbf a fair amount of my dislike is "dead dove do not eat / I don't know what I expected" but in my defence the way I was sold it vastly skewed/overinflated my expectations (picture the way folks sell atla/pjo/etc. as so much more than it is)

(I'm self censoring with /'s bc ik there is a decent fandom for it on here)

Excellent rant thank you very much. And also, like, not exactly familiar with the genre but that sounds deeply painful, yes!

That said,

+ one of the main protagonist's motivation is literally "he was born as a slave and wants a better life for his fellow slaves and to prove slaves are just as competent as nobles in xianxia!fighting" so you'd expect it to yk. do much of anything about it. or at least not fumble it given the focus. but like later literally all the major + powerful characters ended up having noble blood and all 3 of the non-noble characters who were subtextually positioned as "see they're also super powerful and they don't have noble blood".... ended up having noble blood. from the top noble families no less. which. yeah not a fan!

This or something like it happens so often in every fucking type of fantasy and I loathe it with every fucking fiber of my being.

[aesteasis]

do you have any brazilian literature recommendations :))?

ooohohoho yes i do, im glad you asked >:)) grab some snackies and a water bottle, this is gonna be a long post.

most of what i've read from brazilian literature are classics and like books that are at least decades old lol (uni life go brr), so my recommendations will probably rotate around that. so lets go!

first of all, of course, i recommend Dom Casmurro by Machado de Assis (black author btw!), it wouldnt be a br lit rec if i didnt mention this one at some point. this is like the ultimate classic i'd say, but im not recommending just for that. i REALLY enjoy unreliable narrators and this book is all about it. its a novel about a guy who marries his childhood love, but suspects she's cheating on him, but yk, he's a white man from the 19th century, he thinks he's always right and is privileged af and it shows in the way he tells his story, so his opinions arent that trustworthy. and the author knew very much what he was doing, and he did it on purpose.

still about Machado, i must mention his short stories. i really really enjoy grotesque and gothic literature (think the vibes of poe, lovecraft, gogol, dostoevsky, etc) and Machado nails at it. he's also translated poe's works to portuguese back in the day, so we know for certain there's some influences in there. well, i recommend Machado in genereal, my guy really knew how to criticize society with some great witty and sarcastic comments if you know where to look.

if you want more grotesque but is tired of reading stuff written by men, i recommend Julia Lopes de Almeida (who isnt as known as she should be, she was done dirty and purposefully neglected by ABL - brazilian literary non-profit society) and Lygia Fagundes Telles. both of them have some reeeal creepy stories, just the way i like it.

now, if you're into authors who dissect the human mind and master the stream of consciousness and love to relate to the thoughts of the characters of your books, i highly recommend Clarice Linspector. no one does it like her, my girl knows how to transform thoughts into a narrative and its insane, her books are really endearing to read imo.

but if you want something that will thresh the brazilian society (or well, any third world country's society i'd say) and expose every flaw about the system, racism, misogyny, colonialism and class conflict, i recommend specifically the books Vidas Secas, by Graciliano Ramos (idk if theres a translation, but the title says Dry Lives), The Slum, by Aluísio Azevedo, and The Devil to Pay in the Backlands, by Guimarães Rosa (this one is sooo hard to read in portuguese bc it uses a lot of regionalisms from a region im not from, so hard that i actually got a copy in english to read for my finals lmao. but worry not, the english translation is much easier to understand. it also has some queer themes, both gender and sexuality wise, and its a literal masterpiece).

for poetry, i highly recommend Augusto dos Anjos, a personal favourite. im not that into poetry, but Carlos Drummond de Andrade and Cecilia Meireles are very good too.

there's so much more i could recommend, but these are the ones that come to my mind rn. idk if thats what you were thinking about, and sorry i coulnt bring anything contemporary, if thats more your vibes, but i really recommend all of these, for anyone, they're really enriching to read.

[ekkurea]

(im the anon who sent the rendering ask and tips) AS SOMEOEN W STEM BACKGROUND WE’re always yk making things easier for us with ai.. im gonnaa divert a bit..i asked a professor (this was a neuroscience conference) why dont we perfect ai and develop a new artificial brain instead of studying the human brain… he had the most simple basic reply … why wouldnt you want to usee ai to understand yourbrain first… its a tool that can help us understand an actual brain why not use it there… i didnt really have an answer back then… but with your insight i resonate his answer w yours.. any other field ai is a helping hand and as much as i am against ai art … i see the potential it offers …. and obviously one needs to knoww their basics to use ai ot any tool !! and i just wanna say KUDOS FOR DOING IT :))) !! LITERALLY ALL SO MYCH LOVE FOR YOY!! GO YOU !!! 🫶

Hello! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart( ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ഒ These are really important words for me. I needed to read them to make my heart feel better. I love your every word! ଘ(੭◌ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚

And I was very interested when you said about the neuroscience lectures! Apart from the fact that I love to hear people talk about their fields of study, I am also interested in their perspective on my field (*^ω^)八(⌒▽⌒)八(-‿‿- )ヽ

Next, I want to share my thoughts on what drawing means to me and what I think is the value of drawings (and not only). Sorry, I'll share some new art soon. m(_ _)m

I'm not a fan of AI art either, but I don't devalue the work of AI artists either.

I really like the process of creating drawings(ღ˘⌣˘ღ) For me, it is not only therapy but also a way of preserving a piece of my soul in a drawing (or anything else "created by hand"). I keep drawings that may seem unsuccessful now. Because they reflect my view of the world at the time when I created them. Looking at them, I travel through the memories of my life. I think it's like a photograph. It stops time, conveys the focus, where the author's gaze was directed and shows what and how he sees. We can talk about this endlessly. 彡ﾟ◉ω◉ )つー☆* I'm one of those people who understand the popularity and value of Malevich's black square. (By the way, he is a Ukrainian artist. I say this because you might have heard a lie somewhere, if you know what I mean)

I also want to expand a bit on the topic of values that I emphasize in things. It's cool if they go hand in hand.

(੭ˊ͈ ꒵ˋ͈)੭̸*✧⁺˚ The first is the author. We can be supporters of a person, their life, their worldview... I'm ready to pay more if it's created by a person I'm interested in and like. This way I get a piece of him and support him. I think people who are fans of someone will understand me.

(੭ˊ͈ ꒵ˋ͈)੭̸*✧⁺˚ The second is the finished product. Recently, there were campaigns in my country and around the world about how artificial intelligence sees the exploitation of animals. It really doesn't matter to me that the machine created these images in a minute. The main thing is the benefit that came from it.

For example, another area is medicine. Doctors used to practice all their lives to move more and more perfectly during operations. And yet there is a level of precision that we will never be able to match. But a machine can do it. So why not let technology do it?

(((＞＜))) We are afraid of change. Artists, actors, construction workers, everyone is afraid of losing their jobs. I am too! But if it's not something that is aimed at destroying all life, then maybe it can help us on the contrary. We'll see where it takes us. And if it happens that no one wants my drawings at all, I know what I want to do with myself. This is about the fact that when people trusted progress, they found time and opportunities to improve other areas of life.

(*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡ I would hold drawing lessons, creative evenings... Experience has shown that the Internet can provide a lot of knowledge, but live classes, the creative process, conversations, support, discussions are something that no machine can replace. And the way students and their parents call and write to me and say that they miss our classes warms my heart every time. I also miss this atmosphere.

(人´∀｀)．☆．。．:*･° And if you didn't know what to do in the evening, take it as a sign. Take pencils, paints, paper or anything else, turn on your favorite movie or music and create. Do what you want and what your heart tells you to do. Alone or with someone. Don't worry about being perfect and professional! No, that's not the point. Just have fun!

I will end. Haha!

I don't know how it happened, but sorry for the sea of text! m(_ _;m)三(m;_ _)m

I love you and thank you for supporting me! (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) ☆

P.s. I also want to say that English is not my native language and I am very bad at it. So if I made a mistake somewhere and someone wants to correct me, no problem! I am happy to learn!

Also, let me know if it's boring, obvious, and not interesting to anyone. I will not be offended in any way! I'm just not going to talk about things that I wasn't even asked about and will leave these conversations for my friends. Haha.

[aromantisk-fagforening]

The actual books btw:

ok wait no that's a lot

the winning book, 188/267 (now 222/267) is:

Farvel Syria - om eit folk på flukt (goodbye Syria - about a people who are fleeing) by Emil André Erstad. (newnorwegian)

Emil André Erstad is a (Norwegian and a) previous KrFpu [christian people's party youth division] politician, political commentator (newspaper) and political advisor. He has a bachelor degree in comparative politics. (via wikipedia)

Which yeah is a (nonfiction) political book about the refugee crisis caused by the civil war in Syria. Published in 2016. It mostly argues that we need to have more of what in Norwegian is called "kvoteflyktninger" and possibly in English quota refugees, which the author also says are cheaper than asylum seekers (bizzarely enough). The author also spends a lot of time arguing against the right-wing (e.g. FrP) argument that the syrians can just be helped in the nearby area (using examples from interviews combined with statistics). The book is full of interviews, first hand accounts (well, translated), of how things are/were in Syria, how limited the rights to assembly and freedom, gay rights and more are. In addition to the struggle of transport (money, drowning on the way, travelling through Russia and other routes, etc). And some of the political choices made in various countries, from Poland (unaccepting because monocultural) to Sweden (accepting, always asylum seekers not quota refugees) and Canada (private sponsorships) and so on. Oh and ofc Norwegian politics.

That got long huh. Well anyway. (btw if you have any knowledge of this topic please do discuss or share sources with me)

book 2, 118/192 (now 132/192):

Narnia, Hesten og hans gutt (the horse and his boy) by C S Lewis, translated by award-winning translator Tormod Haugen. (booknorwegian)

Obviously this is a fiction book in the Narnia series. I thought I'd read it before, but because I wasn't sure I figured "yeah Narnia is always worth a reread anyway". The book is about speaking horses and two children/teens escaping their old lives to go to Narnia.

I have been doing a challenge with this one where I read it outside (originally I was gonna finish it when it was, yk, summer), and I stuck with it, just dressing for the weather.

third place (10/430) I already mentioned, it's a book about a guy with PTSD.

304 days by Simon Stranger. Norwegian guy fought in the Afghanistan war (big yikes), got PTSD, he's really suicidal. He gets asked by his mom to stay alive 304 days. The book has 304 chapters (sometimes less than half a page, it's fascinating). (booknorwegian)

sidenote this isn't even the first book I've read about Norwegians who go to war. (the first was Bli hvis du kan dra hvis du må (stay if you can, leave if you must) by Helga Flatland). From the first one I already knew going to war is Stupid As Fuck if you can avoid it. Which the average Norwegian can. And yeah, Norwegians just fight other people's wars (NATO) or they just destroy military equipment (simplification) so that we spend enough on military to be a part of NATO (according to friends of insider sources).

pick what book I'll read. based on pages: formatted as pages read/page total (excluding any sources or notes and such). But do note that I won't necessarily finish all the books.

[female-buckets]

The arrest of two-time US Olympic basketball gold medalist Brittney Griner has left supporters anxious about her well-being and fearful that she might become a political pawn.

Russian authorities said Griner had cannabis oil in her luggage and accused her of smuggling significant amounts of a narcotic substance -- an offense punishable by up to 10 years in prison.

It's still not clear exactly when Griner was arrested last month, or where she's being detained now.

But escalating tensions between the US and Russia over Russia's invasion of Ukraine has stoked concerns that getting Griner out of Russia will be "very difficult."

'She's been there for quite some time'

Adaora Elonu, a former WBNA player who has also played in Russia, said she was "extremely worried" about Griner.

The state-owned Russia 24 channel said this photo of Brittney Griner was taken at a police station.

"Right now, I'm just very, very concerned -- also knowing that she's been there for quite some time," Elonu told CNN on Tuesday.

She described feeling detached from much of the world while living in Russia. "Being in Russia, I was kind of in a bubble," Elonu said.

"I didn't feel unsafe. I felt as if there was not much happening in that country. I know there was a lot going on outside of the country. But as far as when I was in Russia, we weren't getting much news about what was happening. Aside from my family and friends and my agent, they were letting me know about what was happening. But it was hard to balance what was actually happening and what I felt," she said.

"But once things started escalating, my agent was definitely pushing for me to get out. And I'm glad I listened to his advice and got out."

'There are no words to express this pain'

Griner's whereabouts aren't publicly known. CNN has reached out to the Russian Foreign Ministry for comment but has not heard back.

A member of Russia's Federal Customs Service described the charge against Griner to Russia 24, the country's main state-owned news channel.

"A criminal case has been opened against an American citizen under section 2 of 229 YK RF (Russian law) for smuggling of a significant amount of drugs," Irina Begisheva of the Main Directorate for the Fight Against Smuggling of the Federal Customs Service told Russia 24.

In an Instagram post, Griner's wife described the agony of waiting.

"People say 'stay busy.' Yet, there's not a task in this world that could keep any of us from worrying about you. My heart, our hearts, are all skipping beats everyday that goes by." Cherelle Griner posted Monday.

"There are no words to express this pain. I'm hurting, we're hurting."

Over the weekend, she thanked supporters and asked for privacy "as we continue to work on getting my wife home safely."

But a member of the US House Armed Services Committee said "it's going to be very difficult" to get Griner out of Russia.

"Our diplomatic relationships with Russia are nonexistent at the moment," Democratic Rep. John Garamendi of California told CNN on Monday.

"Perhaps during the various negotiations that may take place, she might be able to be one of the solutions. I don't know."

He also noted that "Russia has some very, very strict LGBT rules and laws" -- though it's not clear whether those rules and laws might impact Griner's case.

Griner's high school basketball coach, Debbie Jackson, said she worries Griner's case will be used for political purposes.

"My biggest fear is that ... she will become a political pawn," Jackson told CNN.

But the Biden administration is working on trying to get Griner out of Russia, members of the Congressional Black Caucus said after meeting with President Joe Biden on Monday.

"The best news we got today was that they know about it and that she's on the agenda," Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee, who represents Griner's hometown of Houston, told reporters.

Noting a potential 10-year sentence for Griner, Jackson Lee added: "We know about Brittney Griner, and we know that we have to move on her situation."

A storied career

Griner has spent her entire WNBA career with the Phoenix Mercury and won the league's championship in 2014. The WNBA has confirmed that all other league players have departed Russia and Ukraine.

Like many other WNBA players, Griner plays overseas in the offseason where salaries can be much higher than what female professional basketball players are paid in the US.

She won the EuroLeague Women championship last year with Russian club UMMC Ekaterinburg, where she has played since 2015 during her offseasons.

Fans around the world have called for Griner's release, with more than 34,000 people signing the "Secure Brittney Griner's Swift and Safe Return to the U.S." petition on Change.org as of Tuesday.

[personasintro]

hi mimi! i was here asking some q’s earlier but rn i’m here for another reason.

i’m not gonna bring politics up but as you (and someone who might read this post) know, there is a war going on in ukraine. i’m ukrainian and not gonna lie, we all going through a hard time. BUT, i’m not here to ask for some pity or else, i wanted to say that the first week when this happened, i used to be really nervous and tense, so i couldn’t even distract myself with some music, series or books, since yk… you should be aware of bombs and stuff… but later, when i had to leave my city for a safe place, i thought i would give a try and will read something that will take my attention away from some things. i’m a slow reader bc i always imagine a lot & i also get distracted really often so i thought “damn, perfect time to continue mh”. i had like 10 chapters left and now i have 3 + i’m also started prohibido and planning to read others as well (that i haven’t read yet or did long time ago). and i just want to say a big thank you because that was something i needed, i needed to run away from the reality and you really helped me. even tho i’m at my yoongi era again and i really miss afy & LL (don’t worry i love monachopsis as well but we had a new chapter not that long time ago so i’m also missing it but kinda less haha). i really love your writing style and the fact that you do amazing plot twists during stories that makes you stop just to breathe. you’re an amazing author and i’m sure you’re a really great person too :) so thank you again for being a safe place for many of us. i hope that you’re doing well and i wish you a lot of inspiration. and i’m on my way to read another mh chapter 🏃🏼‍♀️

this is so heartbreaking to read, I can't possibly imagine what the ukrainian families are going through... my country is actually very involved in helping and we all are scared what's going to happen next. my neighbour is ukrainian and her family came here just the other day, it was very sad to see them reunited under such circumstances 🥺

thank you so much for turning to my stories even in such sad period in your life, I hope my stories will continue to make you happy! I really hope you and your family are safe now 🥺

it's my honor and I'll think of you the next time I'm writing <3 I'm with you and if you ever need anyone to talk to, let me know !!

[king-maven-calore]

ayo as a poc, Mare’s poc status seems very iffy in my eyes idk 😭😭

To me it feels like Victoria rlly said “yk what I feel like avoiding some controversy” *vigorously tries to call Mare a poc without giving her any ethnic features or even mentioning it at all in the 1st book*

I had to read the RQ for school so no, I didn’t miss it, I took heavy annotations on it. Mare is honestly my least favorite character because of how WHITE she’s written from a poc standpoint.

It’s this very common thing with yt writers where they darken a characters skin tone and think that’s all it means to be a person of color. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t expect Victoria to make insightful commentary as she IS a white woman, and since it’s fantasy and our ideas of race in this world aren’t supposed to exist. But representation isn’t just “wow she also has dark skin” it’s more the features. Mare is consistently described as having Eurocentric features.

And then white people always try to talk over us like “oh well it doesn’t matter she’s just written that-“ like shush omfg. People calling Mare Latina is hella disrespectful 💀 like what the actual fuck Latin countries don’t even exist in their world. Her last name is fucking Barrow. Her middle name is Molly. That’s so European I had a seizure. Just randomly saying “yuh girlie this character is Latina” seems fucked up.

Not directed @ you but just in general this shit sucks because it gets us further and further away from actual helpful representation in media.

I get you're upset about this. Maybe you've read too much of this type of character and you're fed up with it. I feel you. I agree Mare's skin color being barely described in canon (it got better as the books went by, but it was too little too late🎵) when the Calore boys' skin color was mentioned every two sentences was not great. I don't think Mare was described as having Eurocentric features tho... she simply wasn't described all that much 🤷‍♀️

My personal take on white writers making characters random ethnicities in fantasy/sci-fi and that not having any relevance whatsoever on the plot is that I freaking love it. I find it refreshing, a good step toward diversity in fiction as long as they don't bring up real-life stereotypes into the page 🤡. Why does the character having X skin color have to affect their journey if the plot has nothing to do with it? It's like the issue with the S&B adaptation: in their effort to be more "woke" and shoving fictional anti-Asian racism into the show, they alienated Asian viewers. I'm a brown, indigenous Latina. I like reading stories where people who I can imagine looking like me are getting the magical stone and their skin color doesn't matter. When I want to read stories where racial/gender/sexual orientation issues are central topics, I'll simply go read authors who have an actual say in the matter bc of their lived experience.

About Mare having a European name. I say this with all the love in my heart: please stop thinking of us Latines as brown-skinned, brown-eyed people with the last name Torres or Rodriguez. That's not what our demographic looks like (I do look like that tho). There have been so many immigration movements all through history, there are black ppl with European last names, there are blond-whiter-that-mayo ppl with Torres last name. We mixed around these places. I kindly invite you to watch a video on the topic (reading statistics on Wikipedia is no fun).

And finally, you won't catch me defending a white writer lady in my house, but VA only said Mare would be of latine descent after being asked about it by fans. Her reply and explanation made sense with the RQ world-building. Now it became of relevance bc of fancasts and for me personally bc I write modern AUs where Latin America is very much still around geographically speaking 🥴.

That's my personal stance on the matter, but I respect your frustration and the points you brought up about the lack of description of Mare's physical appearance.

[hematomes]

An assumption of a connection I've noticed between the people in the act trailers and Pulcinella

They all have a form of control that can majorly affect their country/city

Diluc: 'Darknight Hero' that protects Mondstadt city while the better of the Knights of Favonius are away for fuck knows what and how long. Also a major head of the wine industry and has connections to get stuff done

Ningguang: Qixing of Liyue and head of all. Knows the ins and outs of business and literally nearly everyone would like her advice on how to get ahead in the game of profit and loss

Ayaka: A co-head of the Kamisato Clan and Yashiro commission that deals with cultural affairs. She herself may be restricted to her duties, but Ayato's limits surely aren't as much to his

Cyno: Mahamatra and one of the overseers of what work is being done by members of the Akademiya in Sumeru city. Literally has the right and duty to beat sense into the sages for their absurd plans

Then Pulcinella: Governs towns and 5th of Tsaritsa's harbingers. Known for finding a person's weakness and using it to uphold their loyalty to their line of duty

In some way and somehow, the first four get affiliated with us quite quickly and work together for a beneficial goal. Whether or not this base of a goal will truly be beneficial for the traveller in Snezhnaya is what I'm so excited for when we get to act 6. Rn I'm just wondering where we'll stand with people like Pantalone, Pulcinella, Arlecchino, Sandrone. At least 1 2 and 4, they seem indisposable with how important their role is, and Im intrigued on how traveller will reach s compromise with at least Pulcinella to get him what he wants and get a few steps closer to whatever the goal is

But then there's Fontaine and Natlan's trailer characters that make me question if my assumed correlation can truly follow. Those two for Fontaine remind me of olden day actors for the plays snd colourless television. I feel their importance may weigh with how much information they can get on people or they work with an underground organisation not dissimilar to The adventurer's guild when collecting info

And then the kid for Natlan. Someone pointed out that he's an elf, and that made me hope that they leads us to Alice. I also had the idea that maybe they could take us to meet some important elder elves? And after a quest or something they tell us to go meet the elf of Snezhnaya for more help — Pulcinella, who may be commonly known for his current position (someone said he could be Klee's grandpa lol)

Had to say this all before I sleep and forget cus I'm wondering if you have any ideas/assumptions on the trailer as well

I have more Natlan thoughts but another time 💆🏾‍♀️

honestly im not too invested in pulcinella so i don't know anything about him - tho to be honest i haven't read any of childe's voicelines about the harbingers, so im lacking info. im more interested in arlecchino and columbina :]

as for your theory, it could work still with fontaine and natlan. with fontaine's music theme and the aesthetic (beyond steampunk, i mean) + the title "masquerade of the court", it appears that lyney and lynette will hold great importance aside from the court of justice

which is a common theme with the featured characters, actually:

diluc isn't part of the kof. ningguang isn't an adeptus. ayaka wasn't exactly on the shogun's side; there's always some "rebellion" (to some extent), a form of good that's aside the most obvious form of authority in the nation.

and i think that's what the twins are gonna be. if we assume fontaine's lore is more or less inspired by france around the 18th century, masquerades were a pretty important part of french culture at that time. considering it's also linked with lying, hiding stuff etc (the masks, yk), it could be a crucial opposition to the hydro archon - once again, if we assume that the hydro archon's ideology is based on french revolution ideas

as for natlan, iansan is really interesting bc as you said she looks like an elf - however it could be a trick in her design, so i wouldn't be too excited. and layla also has pointy ears, so im not sure it'll even link to alice at all

however what sumeru has taught me is that a tiny gal can be of importance, and that's what makes me rly excited bc i could see iansan being in charge of the whole fight club thingy in natlan. i can't exactly remember what it is, but she looks like she's ready to throw hands so im just hoping that's the case. as for tying her with the rest of the featured characters, i don't know enough abt natlan tbh. i don't even know what's going on there, only that it's based on south america and that vennessa's clan comes from there. ALSO that murata could be a himeko expy so im slightly worried abt her design

[cloudy-leonhart]

Marleyan Warriors with a Filipino S/O!!

[Author Note: this is literally a re-do of my headcanons bc tumblr’s being mean and deleting my drafts, anyways trying to rush another finished bc outta here 😭 also! Reminder that my requests are OPEN, don’t be afraid to send in any requests!!]

Summary: Marleyan Warriors with a Pinoy S/O!

Recommended Song: Titibo-Tibo by Moira Dela Torre

TW: Swearing.

Theme: Fluff, Modern AU.

Characters: Reiner, Bertholdt, Annie, Zeke, Pieck, Porco.

Annie Leonhart

Annie knew, she actually met you at an event for those with cultures, and saw you dancing with your friends to traditional filipino folk music.

She was kinda hesitant to go when you asked her to accompany you to the Philippines, she didn’t like traveling.

She was kinda shocked on how welcoming your family was, your mom and dad hugged her out of nowhere and she just let out a squeak.

Your little sister forced her to go to SM mall with her omg- She literally came home with bags of candy.

Yes, Annie has a soft spot for your family, she probably almost spent all her money on them.

Buchi rivals her love for donuts. She looked like she discovered a new universe after eating one of them thangs.

God, help her when she’s watching filipino movies, your family encouraged her to watch movies with them, and by the end of it she was a mess, pretty sure she cried into your shoulder after watching Seven Sundays.

BUT LIKE SHE ENDS UP BEING ABLE TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR PARENTS.

You see, Annie is a really fast learner, she was bound to learn to be able to speak some point in her stay.

You were shocked when she spoke back to you in tagalog, like ‘dropped my stuff out of shock’ kinda way. 

IT WAS A PAIN GETTING HER INTO A BARO’T SAYA. But bribing her with Buchis got her to keep it on for like 2 hours so like..good enough.

Her favourite filipino song is Porque.

Everybody acts like it’s a concert for every karaoke night because she’s there, like she’s just THAT good.

Reiner Braun

This man was so awkward. He went on a trip with Bertholdt to the Philippines, and met you.

He didn’t think you would understand him, so he just stared at you while you talked with your friends, until you were creeped out enough and asked him if he had a problem.

When you and him started dating, you convinced him to travel all around the country. 

Firstly, you guys visited your family, your dad absolutely loved him, your mom was a little bit hesitant in letting him in the family, he was blonde, big and buff. Filipinos are bound to worry. Until Reiner cooked with her, then she started to warm up to him.

Okay but why did your family’s chickens like him so much??

He likes the feeling of being around your family, him not having a dad left an impact on him and he felt complete being with you and your family, he swore to himself that he’d marry you.

He almost fainted when he found you battling with one of the kids with your pet spider, mf was deathly afraid of your spider, it was like the size of your hand pls-

I think he’d be fairly good at speaking tagalog, he’s got an accent but people can understand him. 

He eats like a tito omg- You lost him at a party once and when you found him, he’s already eaten half of the barbecue. 

Everyone thought he was really old, because of his beard so everyone called him tito Reiner. 

He’s somewhat good with the village kids, you could see Reiner playing soccer with the kids or goofing off.

He says he doesn’t like watching Manny Pacquiao but it’s his guilty pressure.

He doesn’t really listen or watch anything filipino, but he will listen to old filipino bands if you play them in his car.

Bertholdt Hoover

HAHA PLs- you got mad at him for eating your cake and started cursing in filipino. He was confused because he thought you were just blurting out nonsense.

One second you’re explaining what you were saying and the next second y’all are on the way to the Philippines.

He sweats like a waterfall, LITERALLY. Everyone would like move away because he sweated that much.

You had a private island..because y’all were RICH rich. he was kinda awestruck, you literally just said out of nowhere.

“oh yeah, we have a private island.” ‘YOU HAVE A FUCKING WHAT??”

Poor baby was kinda intimidated by your basket-ball player of a brother, he was taller than Bertholdt omg-

You’re always worrying him somehow, he’s be on the toilet and he’d just hear you scream and he comes running down with his boxers, just to see you watching a telenovela and you had to tell him that you were just gushing over the drama.

He has never felt so embarrassed.

Am I the only one who thinks he looks amazing in a Barong?? Like he’d rock that shit- 

He loves eating filipino food, he likes when you guys stay in the country and you go out to buy bread at the nearest bakery.

Like every filipino, he too, dips his bread in coffee.

He ended up learning guitar while he’s in the Philippines, the country’s filled with people who can sing amazingly, he’s bound to learn guitar.

His favourite filipino song to play is Tadhana, it’s also the only song that he knows to sing to, like he absolutely butchers pronunciation for words but this man covers it up with this song.

Zeke Jaeger

He bumped into you and you cursed at him in tagalog, he basically just fell for you at that point.

I just know your family secretly hates this man, he slapped your ass once around your mom and your dad, it’s always tense when he’s around now.

You don’t have the heart to tell him your parents saw because one afternoon, he was gushing and praising your family, you didn’t want to ruin his happiness, his dad’s barely around and his mom passed away. he’d obviously be attached.

Yes you had to talk to your parents about it, a lot of filipinos are very kinds and forgiving, so your parents were very understanding, and made sure he felt loved around the family.

He actually almost cried when your dad told him to marry you already.

He calls your parents nanay and tatay.

You got him to buy a pet spider please- You would catch him fighting a kid’s spider to the death in a match, he’d feel bad though so he buys them new ones after.

Hey this man looks so hot in a Barong, please. You guys had to book a hotel for a night for some alone time yk.

Lord help this man, he tried to do the tinikling dance and he tripped, in front of everyone.

Every night, he comes to bed all shirtless, you could just hear the air conditioner buzzing as he tells you how fun it was playing with the village kids, or talking about he and your titos had a drink while watching a boxing match.

He more so listens to various artists, he doesn’t have a favourite.

but he will replay Joseph Vincent’s filipino covers.

Pieck Finger

She was on a business trip in the Philippines, and you were coincidentally at the same bar they were celebrating at. You were by the karaoke section and she kinda just, fell in love with you. right there and then.

Honestly some people thought you guys were siblings, Pieck can be mistaken as a filipino easily so, you guys expect it from time to time.

She likes to ask from time to time to teach her guitar, your mom probably has a lot of pictures of you and Pieck.

She loves eating the food in the Philippines, she thinks the adobo is great and if you lose her in public she’s probably by a street vendor eating food.

You guys dance to old filipino songs, a replaying song for you guys is Mabagal by Daniel Padillia and Moira Dela Torre.

She learnt Moira’s Part while you had Daniel’s part. 

GUys she looks so beautiful in a Baro’t Saya. And she knows it, she flaunts it so well.

You guys probably have a vacation house in the Philippines after leaving with her to go back to her country.

She helps you with packing balikbayan boxes for your family, she makes handwritten letters, she’s both good at writing and saying anything in tagalog. 

Her favourite artist is definitely Moira Dela Torre, she just loves her airy voice.

Favourite Filipino Movie? Yes.

You cannot tell me she doesn’t have a shelf full of filipino movies you guys watch.

Her favourite street food is probably qwek-qwek. She likes the sauce she dips, and she probably bought almost twenty bucks worth of the fishballs.

Porco Galliard

UGh honestly he’s a little cringey when it comes to the culture, for some reason I can see him accidentally disrespecting it somehow, I can’t help it.

Your family owned a sari-sari store, and he could not help for the love of him, he ended up being the one stocking it up while you chatted with the customers. 

Like Pieck, he and you dance when you’re alone, he probably learnt from Pieck too.

He listens to modern filipino artists, like Ex Battalion, Skusta Clee.

He tries hard to really be respectful, he butchers the way he says nanay and tatay but your parents appreciate the effort.

I can see him being able to secretly make amazing filipino desserts, his ube cake is bomb.

He watches Basketball with your dad, and they both drink during the match.

I can also see him being the type to scream out curses when he hurts himself, a ‘PUNYETA’ comes out of his mouth.

he doesn’t enjoy the hot weather in the Philippines, and due to that, he wears sandos all the time at home, and when he goes out, every girl always looks at him because he’s ripped, yes you’re jealous, but as you should, he’s your mans-

He also knows how use a barbecue grill? You can find him helping your family members while they’re selling barbecue.

he hates going to SM?? He just really hates going, because you genuinely just go for the food court. They sell hella good food.

One time he got chased by the village dogs, so he doesn’t go out without you or a family member.

He secretly loves watching telenovelas with you.

[fydream]

even if it is, just for tonight | p. js

☌ genre: jisung x reader, slice of life(ish), fluff, angst?, high school!au? kinda.. i wouldn't say it's a college!au but it's the summer before you move to college, the mood is a teenage coming of age movie where the main characters sneak out and do things but like not illegal things yk, best friends to lovers because i'm a sucker for that!!, inspired by life is strange episode 3 + we go up era/the we go up mv teaser + the perks of being a wallflower, mentions of ex-boyfriend!jaemin, say hi to skater boy!renjun!!! also say hi to college boy!johnny!! they're more of a touch and go but they'd appreciate a hello :-)

☌ songs/playlist: 🎵(yes these go in order of the story,,, the most important songs though are "aint it fun by" paramore and "fallingforyou" by the 1975 and maybe "is there somebody who can watch you" also by the 1975)

☌ word count: 7.3k!! 

☌ warnings: food mention, cursing, uhh breaking and entering? i wouldnt really say that but it's more off you jumping a fence and trespassing lol, also this is semi proof read lmao sorry

☌ author note: this is dedicated to my dear friend cam!! (@huangsilks​) happy birthday i love you <333 here's a lil fic bc ur senior year got cut short and as much as i wish i could give it to you, i cant, and im so sorry about that. so take this fic in return <33 mwah // all i want to do is live in a teen coming of age movie is that too much to ask for? and that's on the media romanticizing your teenage years!

☌ disclaimer: this has no relation to htbah!jisung at all. this is a completely different universe. thank you.

─ 10:45pm;

The last day of summer vacation is always fun until you realize that the sun has started to set and the inevitability of tomorrow starts creeping into your thoughts.

So what were you doing on your last day (or night in this case) of summer? You weren't doing anything special, just looking through your room and going through the various photos you had put up on your walls, recalling past memories from your previous years in high school.

Tomorrow night you were leaving your small town and moving across the country to attend college. Needless to say you were excited to move away and get a fresh start but the one thing you weren't ready for was to say goodbye to everyone.

You didn't have a going away party like everyone else, you decided not to because that meant you were actually leaving. Though your bags were packed and your room was put together, it didn't feel like you were going to college. The realization hasn't hit yet, it just felt like another normal night. You were busy looking through one of the memory boxes you had in your room when you felt your phone buzz, indicating you've gotten a text.

[sungie: hey]

[sungie: wanna go on an adventure?]

[you: wtf? the sun set already, if i get caught i'm done for!]

[sungie: c'mon.. live a little]

[sungie: im picking you up in five, get ready :)]

Park Jisung. Your best friend since, well, since elementary. He's the boy who you grew up with, the boy who you happened to survive all of high school and middle school with, he's also the boy who happened to capture your heart doing the simplest things you could imagine.

He was your first crush, but not your first boyfriend.

He also happened to be the boy who was always there for you, no matter what. So if you were going to spend your last night in the town you grew up in, why not spend it with your best friend, Park Jisung himself?

Seeing as that he was already on his way, it left you with no choice. Grabbing the closest hoodie near you, you silently made your way to your front door where you slipped on your shoes before heading outside as quietly as you could.

It takes a few minutes before you see a familiar car pull up on your childhood street. Approaching the vehicle, you hear music playing that's only being muffled due to the windows that are rolled up and the doors being shut closed.

"Hey." He says lowering the volume as you open the door to his passenger seat. "Are you ready?"

"You're fucking insane." You snort as you buckle your seatbelt. "Wake up my whole neighborhood why don't you?"

"I mean.. Only if you want me too.." He teases, placing his hand on his car horn.

"Don't you dare!" You squeal, trying to grab his wrist before he could attempt to wake up your whole neighborhood. To no avail, you failed which resulted in a fit of laughter from him.

"C'mon. Live a little." He says once more before driving away from your. house, turning out of your neighborhood and onto the empty streets.

"Where are we going?" You ask, watching the streetlights pass by.

"It's a surprise."

"That's so ominous."

"I know."

"Could you at least give me a hint?" You whine.

"I'll give you one word."

"I'll take whatever I can get."

"Okay, the word is playground."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" You ask, shooting him a glare.

"Hey! you said you'll take what you can get, and I'm giving you one word." He defends.

"You're annoying." You mumble, turning away from him to look back out the window.

"So I've been told." He snorts, focusing his attention back on the road.

Your first stop of the night is the playground of your elementary school.

It was kind of unexpected because the last time you were here was probably when you attended school here, years ago. To be honest, you were expecting to be taken to the park near your house. The playground there was mostly abandoned due to all the kids on your street growing up, you would still see other children playing on the swings or sliding down one of the tube slides but those were on good days. Most of the time it was just empty.

"School?" You ask confused, watching as Jisung unbuckles his seatbelt and opens his door to step outside, you doing the same. "Jisung, we're way to big for this playground, you know that. Why are we even here?"

"You'll see." He says, grabbing your hand to drag you over towards the gate that they used to fence off the playground. ”Are you ready?"

"Ready for what?" You ask, earning a wink in response. "Oh my god.. Jisung no!"

Before you could realize what was about to happen, the hand that Jisung was using to hold yours was now being used to help pull himself over the chain linked fence that lead to your school's playground. After successfully throwing himself over the top of the fence and landing on the other side with a light thud, he smiles at you. "Your turn."

"What the hell?! No way!" You protest. "I can't even climb a fence! You know this!"

"Actually. That's false." He confidently states, knowing he’ll win this argument. "You climbed a fence Junior year when you were hanging out with Johnny Suh and his friends."

"What? Who told you that?!" You exclaim.

"Just a little someone who's name begins with a little 'Ren' and ends with 'Jun.'" He says playfully, sending you a little wink.

"That brat!" You whisper yell. "That’s the last time I tell Renjun something.." You add, mumbling.

"So, your turn." He repeats, gesturing towards the gate in front of you.

"I can't believe I'm fucking doing this." You mumble before continuing to hoist yourself over the metal fence. Your landing wasn’t as smooth as Jisung’s, seeing as you almost lost balance trying to get down from the top resulting in Jisung having to catch you so you didn’t break an ankle or something.

"See? That wasn't so bad." He snorts, letting you go.

"I hate you." You scoff. "Why are we even here again?"

"I'm glad you asked." He says smiling, grabbing your hand once more. This time, instead of leading you to a fence you had to jump be brings you to a small play structure. It takes you approximately a minute for you to realize where you were and where he was taking you.

"Right here." He says pointing to a red tube slide. "Our first stop of the night. This is where we first met, remember? You practically shoved me down this slide because you wanted to go down it and I was in your way."

You chuckle as the first memory of you and your best friend plays. "Of course? How could I not remember? I got called into the office afterwards because some kid told one of the teachers that I was bullying you. To this day, I still don't know who told on me."

“It was Wendy, if you wanted to know.” He adds. “She told me after she told on you.” He shrugs.

“Of course it was..” You mumble, hopping up to sit against one of the bottom steps that led up to the slide.

"Is this what we came here for?" You ask, looking up at the boy who was currently climbing up the side of the playground structure.

"Ding ding ding! We have a winner!" He yells loud enough for anyone in a five mile radius hear. Maybe it’s because of how quiet it is at this time of night, or maybe it’s because he just got louder whenever he was with you. But those were besides the point, if there were any cops around right now you two would definitely have gotten caught thanks to Jisung.

He makes his way to a safer spot, where he can jump down from the top of the playground. Despite the fact he moved you still scold him for his reckless actions. "Don't do that!! You’re going to get hurt! What happens when you jump off of something and finally break your ankle, hm?"

Jisung shrugs in response. "Well you see, it hasn’t happened yet. You can even check, I’m fine. It’s okay."

"You stress me out, you know." You scoff, turning away from him to walk towards the monkey bars that were once too tall for you, but now are nothing compared to your height.

"I know." He shouts from across the playground. Because of how quiet it was with just you two being there in the dead of night you could hear his footsteps along the playground structure. You could hear it creak every now and then, making you wonder if it was Jisung causing then noises of if it was just because of how old the structure is. You think about how long it's been here, how many children have played in the exact spots you were standing in and how many more will until they decide to finally remodel or get rid of it.

"It's been ages since I've been here." You whisper, running your hand along the cool, metal railing as you climb the short steps that lead up to the top, where Jisung was waiting for you.

"I know right? Do you remember this spot?" He asks, taking a seat on the platform, which barely has enough room for both of you. "We used to sit here and gossip about who we thought were cute in the fifth grade." He snorts.

"Yeah.. And when people tried to come up here you'd yell at them for the password." You laugh. "That was really fun. A simpler time." You add, going back replaying through some of your memories which were long forgotten.

For the next couple minutes you and Jisung just sit there, reminiscing to when you were both small children, where your only worry was your guy's spot on the playground being stolen.

“This is nice..” You think to yourself. “It feels the same, just like the good old days.”

"Uhm." Jisung coughs, getting your attention. "We better get going. There are more stops to go and well, we don't have all night do we?"

"Oh. Yeah." You sigh, not wanting to get up from your spot. "Where are we going now?" You ask.

"You'll see." He says, flashing you a grin.

You smile, rolling your eyes at the boy in front of you, who was now attempting (and failing) to slide down the slide in front of you.

"It’s not slippery anymore." He frowns.

"Well, yeah." You giggle, making your way down the same way you came up. "It's been years Sungie. What'd you expect?"

"I dunno. The same amount of slipperiness?"

"You're silly." You tease, lightly pinching his cheek. "Let's go." You’re about to walk away when Jisung grabs your wrist, stopping you from waltzing away to his car.

"Are you sure?" He asks. "You were kinda hesitant to jump a fence you’ll sure you'll be ready to do whatever else I have planned for tonight?" He teases.

"Depends." You hum. "Are we going to get into any kind of trouble?"

"That's up to us."

"Then of course I'm down." You say, dragging him back the way you entered.

─ 12:23am;

The next stop is in the city near your small town. To be more specific it's the rooftop of one of the many parking garages your city has. Jisung's car is the only car parked right now due to the time being nearly twelve thirty in the morning, and you just can't help but wonder why you spent the last half an hour driving to an empty parking garage.

"Okay Park Jisung, why are we here?" You ask, leaning against the railing to look outwards for any sign of reason.

"Well first of all, if you're looking for the reason why you're on the wrong side." He chuckles, leading you towards the opposite side of the rooftop. "And if you look to your left you'll see a small venue." He says in one of those touristy guide voices, earning a giggle from you.

"Hey! Isn't that where we-"

"Saw our first concert?" He cuts you off, finishing your sentence.

"Yeah.. I remember that night. We skipped school that day to make sure we made barricade." You snort.

"It was definitely worth missing a pop quiz and two weeks of being grounded." Jisung comments.

"You act like you didn't sneak out every night during those two weeks." You joke, lightly punching his arm.

He gives you a small pout and a fake "ow." in response. "Well, yeah?" He replies. "How else was I going to see my best friend?"

"Anyone ever told you you're annoying?" You ask rolling your eyes, leaving the edge of the rooftop to walk towards the center.

"Mmm." He hums, looking up to indicate that he was thinking. "I don't think so."

"Well, you are." You say before asking "So why the rooftop?"

"I'm glad you asked." He starts, pulling out a tiny speaker from his jacket pocket. "Remember how you said you were kinda sad that we haven't gone to a concert in a while?"

"Mhm."

"Well congratulations y/n l/n because here I have a tiny speaker that'll make it feel like we're having our own mini concert on the top of this garage building tonight!" He exclaims in a fake announcer voice.

Giggling, you smile at him before going along with the joke. "Oh wow? My own private concert? Right here? Right now? With the only relevant person in my life? How could I even think about passing that up!?"

Jisung snorts before handing you the wireless speaker, allowing you to connect your phone to it. The first song you play is "Ain't It Fun" by Paramore for the sole being of it being that song.

"Paramore?" Jisung asks, a bit confused on why you chose this song out of all things to play.

You smile at him before placing the speaker on the ground. Taking both his hands you say, "Jisung. It's fucking Paramore! Do you not remember this song? This is the one we used to blast on my speakers in my bedroom whenever we had a good day. I miss that. Now c'mon! Dance with me!" You giggle, dragging him away from the speaker and to an emptier spot in the parking lot. And so he does. It's not any choreography or anything, it's just you two jumping around on a rooftop to one of your feel good songs. A carefree moment to be exact, where it feels like nothing really matters anymore.

Jisung smiles, backing away from you to watch as you jammed your heart out. If anything, he would give everything just for you to have this moment forever. He knows how stressful life can be, not to mention how hard you worked just to barely make it into your dream school. He also knows how hard it is to feel alone, so he really isn't surprised that your chose thing song because it was your song. Jisung knows a lot more than you could ever know, so if it means he only has one night left to give you everything, then so be it.

Before you know it you watch as he runs towards you, engulfing you in a hug. Shocked, you try your best to look up towards the boy who had you in his arms. If you weren't this close to him you probably wouldn't have noticed the slight glossy look over his eyes, deciding not to touch on it for now and just accept the hug as the song fades into background noise.

"You're leaving tomorrow." Jisung whispers, before pulling apart from the hug, placing his hands on your shoulders. "You're leaving, tomorrow." He states once more this time, more softly while looking at you in the eyes. "You're gonna go off to some college and find a new, maybe get a new boyfriend, and even get a life of your own."

"You know I'll never replace you." You respond back, voice barely above a whisper. You were looking at the cement on the ground or the buildings that were only light being lit up by the various lights around or the night sky, which you definitely haven't seen in a while. You were looking anywhere, everywhere that wasn't your best friend, because you knew for a fact if you looked at him in this moment you would cry.

"But hey," You say speaking up, finally getting the courage to look him in the eye. "That all starts tomorrow. I'm still here right? We still have what? Like twelve hours? So let's make the most of it while we still can, okay?"

Jisung looks down at you before giving you a sad smile. "Actually it's seventeen hours." He sniffs, letting out a light laugh.

"Okay? So? I've got seventeen hours to spare, do you have seventeen hours to spare?" You ask, teasingly.

"You can have all my time in the world, y/n." Jisung replies, pulling you back into the hug.

"Glad to know." You giggle. "Because I'm willing to give you all of mine."

Soon enough the song ends and you hear the beginning of Fallingforyou by The 1975 start to play.

"Hey," Jisung whispers. "I- Uhm. You know this song reminds me of you?" He says.

"It's does?" You ask, voice muffled due to the fact you were speaking into his chest. "Why?"

"Oh god." He starts. "You can't make fun of me for this though." He says pulling away from the hug.

"I won't. I promise."

"Pinky promise?"

"Pinky promise."

"Okay well.." He starts, walking away from you. "Here goes nothing.." There's hesitation in his voice and you can't tell if it's because what he was going to say would hurt you or if he just never planned on telling you. It's silent for a few seconds before he breathes in and let's out a sigh.

"I used to like you, y'know."

Though this is just the start of his sentence you wonder why it already began to hurt. Perhaps it could be because he started his thought off with 'I used to like you.' Used to, meaning not anymore.

"Back in the beginning of Sophomore year, when I saw that you started dating Na Jaemin I realized how much I liked you. And when I saw how much you were with him and how much fun you were having with him I couldn't help but wish that were me.. I couldn't help but wonder what would've happened if I figured out my feelings before you got with him. And even after you two broke up, I couldn't help but wonder what would happen if I just confessed to you, out of the blue."

"Is that so?" You ask, walking towards the boy who was now seated on the hood of his car.

"Yeah." He whispers, looking down so he didn't have to face you.

"Well, then I have a confession to make." You state, hoping onto the empty space next to him to take a seat. "I used to like you to."

"You did?"

"I did." You hesitantly state.

"Oh.." He whispers. "How long ago?"

"A while ago." You say softly. "I never wanted to risk anything because I didn't want it to affect our friendship. I didn't want to imagine what would happen if we ended up breaking up on a bad note. I didn't want to risk losing my best friend."

"Oh." He sighs.

"What do you think would've happened if we dated?" You ask.

"I dunno actually. I mean, I don't think much would really change.. We're already pretty close, and we basically act like a couple anyways. Just look at us right now." Jisung responds.

You didn't realize it but currently you were snuggled up against his side, with his arm wrapped around you. If Jisung didn't point it you probably wouldn't have noticed. "We do everything together, and we always bring each other gifts. We even went to prom together, remember?"

"Well yeah.. as friends."

"That's besides the point. I'm talking about how people see us y/n. Go ask anyone, Donghyuck thought we were dating."

"He doesn't count. Donghyuck thinks everyone is dating." You snort.

"Okay, then ask Renjun. The reason why he told me you jumped that fence was because he thought that Johnny was gonna steal you from me."

"He did?"

"Yeah. His exact words were 'You're girlfriend just jumped a fence to hang out with J. Suh and them. I'd be careful if I were you, Johnny's known to steal each other's girls.' You should've seen how confused I was and how awkward it was to explain to him that we weren't a couple." Jisung laughs. "He was so confused."

"He thought we were dating?"

"Yeah."

"Jisung." You state, looking up at him. "This is my last night here. And before you tell me to shut up and enjoy the moment I want to tell you one thing, okay? It's really really important to me and I feel like if I don't tell you this right now, I may never will."

"Geez, you're dramatic." He jokes. "What's so important anyways?"

"I still like you."

"Oh.." He whispers. "Oh? Wai-Wait. You still like me?"

You nod.

"Like.. like-like?"

"Yes, like like-like." You chuckle.

"O-Oh.."

There's a moment of silence before anyone says anything else. The only things making noise are the sound of distant cars that you hear drive by, along with the wind as it decides to pick up a slight breeze. Your phone is still playing music but you can barely hear it over your light breathing, which to you, sounds like the loudest thing on world. Your head is occupied with thoughts on why you decided to confess right now and Jisung is left trying to process what you just told him. It only lasts for a few seconds, a minute at most, but it feels like an eternity.

"Hey y/n?" He says softly. You snap your head up, looking towards him. Half of you is ready to hear whatever he has to say while the other half of you is worried that you just ruined everything with four little words. "Yeah?" You ask as your voice cracks a little.

"I still like you too."

"You do?"

"I do."

"So the question becomes, what are we?" You whisper, looking back down at the ground. "I leave tomorrow."

"That doesn't mean anything.." Jisung mumbles.

"What are you talking about? Yes it does. It means everything."

"No, it doesn't." He states, jumping off of his car hood to stand in front of you. "Think about it, you leave tomorrow right?"

"Yeah.."

"Well, like you said. You're still with me right now and we've still got-" He stops, taking a second to glance at his phone to check the time. "About sixteen and a half hours to spare.. So, why not make the most of it?"

"What are you implying?"

He sighs, taking a step closer to you to grab both your hands and pull you off his car hood himself. "Will you, y/n l/n, be my girlfriend? Even if it is, just for tonight?"

You squeeze his hands, unsure of what to say. Of course you want to say yes, this is one of the moments you've been waiting for! Something you never expected to happen! So why were you feeling so unsure?

Maybe it's because you knew this wouldn't last forever, or maybe it's because it was your best friend. Either way, each option had it's pros and cons. You just couldn't figure out which ones outweighed the other.

If you say yes, then you would've got to experience your long term crush being your boyfriend. But it also meant it would end in less than 24 hours, and what if you didn't want that? Sure long distance is an option, but would you be able to do it?

If you say no.. Then what would happen? Would tonight just end up awkward? You didn't want to pine after some boy for so long, and you sure didn't want Jisung to feel embarrassed, especially since both of you just confessed to each other.

So what do you say? You don't have all the time in the world to pick an answer.

"If I were to say yes.." You say, speaking up. "Do you promise nothing will change between us afterwards? Will we still be friends after that?"

"We can be friends." He says. "Or we can be more than friends. We can be whatever you want. I just want you to be happy."

You sigh, letting go of his hands, only taking a second to look at him.

"What?" He asks, moving to get closer to you.

"Nothing." You sigh. "Just thinking."

"About what?"

"About.. us.. You know..  What are we going to do once the sun comes up?"

"Cry and then kiss some more?" He jokes, hoping to lighten the mood a bit.

"Sungie.. I'm being serious. What are we gonna do?"

"I don't know, y/n. If I'm going to be honest I don't want to think about it either.. I didn't think that far ahead!"

"I know you didn't but we have to talk about it. It's bound to happen."

"What is?"

"Us.. breaking up.."

"You didn't even accept my offer and you're already thinking about us breaking up?" He asks. In his head it sounded okay, but by the look on your face he can tell it came off differently.

"What?" You ask.

"We could always do long distance y'know.."

"Sungie. Look at me." You sigh, looking at him in the eyes. "I'm moving across country and you're staying here, without me. What did you think was going to happen?"

"I didn't think anything was going to happen! I just wanted to spend one night with you as my girlfriend!" He yells, and you take a step back at the sudden volume change.

"You expected me to say yes?"

"No! Of course not! I didn't even plan any of this! I prepared for the worst, but then you brought up the whole liking thing and it just.. I don't know?! Gave me hope?"

"I don't know.. what'll happen when the sun comes up, y/n. I don't know what'll happen at all. I just want you to be happy.. and if that means we have to finish this night as just friends, then I'll be okay with that. We can pretend like nothing happened and we can just go on-"

"What if I don't wanna pretend like nothing happened?" You ask, cutting him off.

"What if.. I wanna say yes, but I'm just too scared to?"

"Why would you be scared?" He asks.

"Because.. if I do.. and this happens to be the best night of my life.. I don't want it to end."

"The answer I want to give you is, 'it doesn't have to end.' but that would just be a broken promise on my part." He sighs, giving you a sad smile. "But the answer I will give you is, we can make the most of it, but that's only up to you. So I'm asking you again, y/n l/n. Will you be my girlfriend?"

"Yes." You sigh, nodding your head reluctantly.

He pulls you into a hug and even though it's just a hug, it's one of the best hugs you've ever experienced. It's more on the comforting side, which would explain why you felt warm and at home. But it different from the hugs you've shared before.

"So where are we off to now?" You ask, ready to officially start tonights adventure. It comes out more muffled due to the fact that you're still holding each other.

"You're so eager." Jisung pouts. "Can't we just stay like this for a while?"

"I suppose so.. It's nice."

─ 3:06am;

The third stop of the night is diner just a couple minutes away from your high school. It's open 24hours meaning you'd see students come here after dances and school events, two of them being you two. One of the convenient things about this place was that it also had a small arcade connected to it. Maybe it was just a marketing strategy, but it worked so this is where you spent the majority of your free time.

"Hungry?" He asks, pulling up in the parking spot in front of the entrance door.

"Why are we here?" You ask, glancing over at the radio to check the time. "It's three am.."

"So?" He asks. "Let me take you on a date. We can even share a milkshake if you'd like." He teases.

"How romantic." You snort.

"Y/n!! I'm being serious!" He whines. "Do you know how badly I've wanted to take you on a date here?"

"Well.. Technically we have gone on one, multiple to be exact." You claim.

"Oh yeah? Name them."

"Our study sessions for SAT's?"

"I meant a proper date! You call suffering together while we complain about the future a proper date?!" He exclaims.

"Okay then how about all the times we came here after a dance or sport event hmm?" You ask.

"Those don't count! We went as friends!"

"I like to count them as dates.." You admit. "After all, they're the best ones I've been on."

"Oh really?" He asks. "Better than the ones that Na Jaemin has taken you on?"

"Uh, yeah? Of course?"

"Take that Jaemin!" He exclaims, causing you to giggle.

"What's your deal with him anyways?" You ask, curious on what he has to say.

"Well.. he's the person I'm competing with, right? For best boyfriend?"

You roll your eyes. "It's not a competition. Besides, if it was, then you'd automatically win." You tease. "So are we going on a date or what?"

Jisung giggles. "Yeah. Let's go."

The diner is empty. There isn't anyone but a lone police officer, drinking a cup of what you assumed to be coffee; two girls who happen to look like they're on a date, and another boy, who seemed to be around you and Jisung's age, working on paper of some sort.

Taking your seat in a familiar spot you look past Jisung (who was seated in front of you) and out the window behind him. You still have a few more hours until the sun comes up, but seeing the moon slowly make it's way down hurts just a bit.

"Hey." Jisung says, drawing your attention back at him. "You zoned out a bit there, you're not falling asleep on me are you?" He teases.

"Pffft! You wish!" You say a little bit too loudly, earning a glare from the cop seated a few booths away from you.

"So about that milkshake.." You trail off. "What flavor did you get?"

"Strawberry."

You scrunch your nose at his answer. "Why?"

"I dunno." He shrugs. "It's pink, I thought it'd be romantic."

"You're cute."

"I know."

"That wasn't a compliment."

"I'll take it as one."

"I- Nevermind."

"Whaaat?"

"You're lucky you're cute."

"You think I'm cute?"

You scoff at him. "Of course I do."

"Ah, okay. Cause I think I'm cute too." He snickers.

"Hey!" You gasp, earning a light laugh from him.

"It's okay I think you're cute too." He says scrunching his nose.

You stick your tongue out at him, looking away to fake being upset.

"Ah boo hoo. Don't be like that."

You're just about to argue back when the waitress who took your order earlier places down the milkshake that Jisung ordered in the middle of you two. She also drops two straws on the table along with it. Both of you thank her and after she leaves you decide to ask Jisung a question.

"Hey Sungie?" You ask, ripping off the paper wrapping to your straw. "Why this place?"

"You're kidding me, right?"

With a smile, you shake your head no at his response and he lets out a sigh.

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yeah!" You nod. "Why?:

"This is where I realized that I was in love with you."

It takes a second for you to process what he had just said. It doesn't hit you right away but the more that you think about it, the more you realize what he meant.

"O-Oh.. Here?" You ask, as if you were unsure of where you were.

He nods in response and watches as you try to put together the pieces of how he figured out he loved you.

"Why?" You ask. "It's not like we've done anything special here. The most we've done is come here after prom.. and the rest of the dances I guess, but prom is the only one that I can really think about."

He giggles. "It doesn't have to be a big event for it to mean something y'know. I realized I was in love with you the summer going into sophomore year. You remember how we came here that night? After I so happened to convince you to sneak out and come to the movies with me?"

"Duh!" You exclaim. "How can I ever forget that?! I had to climb out my fucking window for you, do you know how scary that was? And we had to walk all the way there because neither of us could drive yet!"

"Hey in my defense I said that Johnny could've driven us. You just didn't wanna get caught!"

You roll your eyes at him. "No. That is not why, and hey! Don't try to make this conversation about me! You're the one who's supposed to be explaining stuff right now!"

"Damn." He scoffs. "Ya caught me. Well, anyways, before I was rudely interrupted-"

"You're the one who asked me a question!" You defend.

Ignoring you, he continues. "You remember how we were sitting in this spot, complaining about sophomore year before it even started?"

You nod.

"Well you were going off on some kind of rant- I don't even remember what it was about- but you just kept talking and you didn't seem to notice that I wasn't listening because I was too busy admiring how you looked. Maybe it was because it was the middle of the night, and both of us were very much sleep deprived but for some reason, it just hit me. I don't remember what it was about you, but it was that moment when I realized 'oh my god. this is what it's like to be in love.' y'know? Like you're finally realizing what it's like to be in love with someone, rather than just loving someone. Do you get what I mean?"

You shake your head no.

"Oh c'mon!" He whines. "I can't be the only one who knows what I'm talking about! It's like finally realizing what all the love songs are about, it's just like.. some kind of feeling! And it was just different how I felt from you, being my best friend, and you, being the person I had a crush on. I don't know how to explain it.. but it was just.. amazing."

"Yeah?" You ask.

"Yeah." He nods.

"Is that so? Well.. then maybe I do know what you're talking about."

"What do you mean?" He asks.

"You just did it."

"Wha- huh?! What did I do?"

"You're cute." You giggle.

"You weren't listening, huh?" He says, smiling.

"Nope! Not at all."

"So you do know what I'm talking about then?"

"Of course I do."

"You're so cute." He giggles.

"I know." You respond.

"I'm glad we agree."

─ 5:22am;

The last stop of the night is some place familiar. You didn't expect this location as much as you did others, so when Jisung decided to park here you didn't know what else to say.

"We're at.. your place?"

"Yeah." He nods, walking towards the gate that lead to his backyard.

"We're not going inside?" You ask, confused on where you were going.

"Pffft. Inside? Why would we go in there? Now c'mon, let's go."

Following Jisung into his backyard is nice. You see a lot of roses and plants that hug the side of his house. As you continue to walk you get various memories from when you two would hang out back here, before you got bored and decided that there was more to the world than Jisung's backyard.

"Okay. Do you want to go first? Or do you want me to?" He asks once you reach a ladder that lead to the roof of his house.

"You chose a ladder?" You whine. "Why didn't we just climb out one of your windows or something?"

"Because y/n!" He teases. "Where's the fun in that? Besides we've already done that before, why not do something different tonight?"

"You mean climb a ladder to sit on your roof instead of climbing out your bedroom window like we normally do?"

"See you do get me! That's exactly what I'm saying." He exclaims. "Now c'mon, up we go!" He smiles.

It's nicer than you expected. You don't know how or when he did it but he already had not one, but two blankets prepared. You assumed he put it here before he left to pick you up or he just asked one of your friends to leave them here. Judging by the fact that they didn't feel freezing cold, and that the ladder was already propped up to the side of his house when you got here, you assumed he asked Renjun or Jeno to leave them here.

"So.." You start.

"Please don't ask why I chose my own house." He jokes.

"Okay well first of all, I wasn't." You defend. "I was gonna ask what are we doing on your roof at five in the morning, but now that you mention it.. Why did you choose your house? We could've gone to so many other places."

He gives you a confused look, allowing you to ask, "What?"

"Please tell me the second question was a joke." He sighs.

You give him a smile and he pats the empty spot next to him, signaling for you to take a seat.

"Okay y/n, since you wanna know so badly, I'll tell you, yeah?" He asks, clearly annoyed at the fact that he chose his own house for gods sake.

You giggle. "You don't have to answer it you know. I know why."

"Okay, then I'll ask you. Why?"

"Because," You tease in a sing-songy voice. "Where else would we have gone? Technically, we started tonight at my place so why not end it with yours? We've spent a significant amount of time together, right?" You ask and he gives you a nod in return.

"Exactly. So it would just make sense that we have two halves of one whole, right? You pick out the places, and I bring back the memories. Right?" You explain.

"Congratulations. You've figured it out."

"Of course?" You giggle.

"Do you wanna know why we're up here though?" He asks.

"Yeah sure, why not?"

"It's because we can see the sunrise better from here. Yeah we used to just sit on the roof and talk in the middle of the day, or we'd watch the sun set, but we've never really watched it rise together before, y'know?"

"Really?" You ask. "Are you sure about that? We've pulled all nighters together before!"

"Yeah but one of us is either half asleep or just not paying attention."

"Hmm. I guess you're right about that." You hum.

"Do you promise we'll get a pretty sunrise?" You ask.

"Christ y/n. I don't control the weather! Who do I look like, mother nature?"

"Hey, mother nature is badass!" You scold. "She could literally end everything right here, right now."

"I suppose so." He hums, wrapping an arm around you to pull you closer to him. You rest your head against him and for a while you two just sit there in silence, no words just being said. Just the sounds of your breathing plus some birds chirping due to the current time. It's nice and comfortable. It feels like home.

You feel yourself about to start falling asleep when Jisung starts talking.

"I'm really gonna miss you.. y'know." He sighs, turning his head to look at you. If he didn't know you any better he'd think you actually fell asleep, it's only the sound of you humming the word "yeah?" that informs him you're still awake.

"What's the thing you're gonna miss most about me?" You ask.

"You expect me to chose one?" He asks, only earning another hum in response.

"Okay.. Well.. For starters, I'm going to miss seeing you everyday. I'm gonna miss not being able to text my best friend 'hey let's hangout today' and then just sitting in my room playing Mario Kart with you for the next three hours. I'm gonna miss your little roasts that you'd pull on me whenever I do anything stupid. I'm gonna miss our boba runs we used to have each week. I'm gonna miss causing chaos on the rest of our friends because how else are they going to prepare for trouble if there isn't two of us? There's so many things that I'm gonna miss about you that I could just go on and on about but we don't have enough time for that." He sighs.

"Really.. I'm just gonna miss you."

A second passes before Jisung decides to speak up again. "Are you gonna miss me too?"

"That's a silly question." You sigh. "Of course I am dummy. You expect me to not miss you? What am I gonna do without my partner in crime? My best friend and technically my boyfriend? You expect me to move across country and not miss you at all? Are you insane?!"

"Only a little." He jokes, earning a light punch from you.

"If I could take you with me I would."

"So why don't you?"

"Where are you gonna live? My fucking closet? I can't let you do that, you'll get too cramped in there." You joke.

"I guess.." He pouts.

"So.. What's gonna happen.. between us?" He asks.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we're watching the sun rise, aren't we?"

"I guess.. I just didn't expect it to fly by that fast.." You mumble.

Another moment of comfortable silence passes before either of you say anything. This one lasts for about ten minutes, fifteen at most, with the only sounds being your shallow breathing catching your attention. It's comforting, just being like this. Laying on Jisung's side while having his arm wrapped around you and a blanket hugging you both. The wind picks up a breeze every now and then making you shiver a bit due to the lack of warmth but that only makes you snuggle closer to Jisung in hopes of stealing his body heat.

"Thank you.. for tonight." You whisper. "It's all I could've asked for."

"I'm really glad you liked it. I'm just happy I got to spent time with you before you left." He chuckles.

"I'm gonna miss you."

"Yeah?"

"So much."

The sunrise is pretty. It's one of the best ones you've seen in your entire life. It consisted of pinks, and yellows, and a little bit of purple. Though there were wispy clouds in it, it was like the earth was telling you it's okay to move on and go. Some may say it would be a perfect way to end a beautiful night,  or in your case, the perfect way to say goodbye.