#who the fuck wants to watch other people? It aint even art

[bardicious]

I mean.... tumblr Live just looks awful.

[quillkiller]

broooo thank GOD your talking about grindledore. Like they were the one who got me into the Marauders (and fandom in general!). They were everything to 12 yo me. I’ve been neglecting them for years and now you’ve awoken an age old beast that’s just filled to the brim with grindledore and shitty amvs.

anyways this is just a long winded way of saying I really love that your into them and would love to know your head cannons on them <3. (I am kicking my feet and giggling)

GRINDELDORES UNITE !!!!!!!

me and kara have been going crazy over them .. we watched dumbledores secrets the other day and we’re watching the other two this week 🤍 so here’s some of mine and kara’s yapping in neat little bullet points !!

neither one of them is good and neither one of them is bad. they both become leader figures for the oppossing sides (good and evil) out of pure spite and pride, refusing to back down. it’s canon that grindelwald regretted everything, and it’s canon that albus tells harry that he’s not a good man/and is power hungry. THEY COULDVE MET IN THE MIDDLE !!!!!! INSTEAD OF FEELING BETRAYED !!!! but they were so young and so ambitious and passionate and they were going to change the WORLD

i think that. if they had met in the middle / if we’re talking a canon divergence. they wouldve just continued to be a little morally fucked up, albus would become a professor but not headmaster, gellert wouldve been his creepy mysterious husband, and they wouldve just continue to experiment with dark arts on the weekends behind closed doors (<- and also. for sexual reasons)

since we’re talking hc’s. aint no way albus didnt use the blood pact trying to strangle him if he even so much as thought of hurting grindelwald while wanking. so jot that down

i also think they wouldve been a better support system for harry together … albus is too reckless and doesn’t communicate or talks in fucking infuriating riddles and i think gellert is the only one who can sort of see through him and properly understand him. i think albus often wishes gellert were there whenever he had to make difficult decisions. gellert is canonically his equal, and albus misses him like a lung and can never tell anyone because gellert is the one he has to defeat.

i believe gellert wanted albus to save him during their last battle. he gives up so easily, doesn’t fight back just because his plan was revealed ? stupid. he wanted albus to save him. ’i was never your enemy, not then not now’

also. ’who will love you now, dumbledore?’ lots of people will. lots of people love and respect albus but NO ONE KNOWS HIMMMMM. the only two people who actually really know him is his brother who can barely stand to look at him and his first love whose locked up in nurmengard. and if i said albus is a lily evans variant . what then. never actually being seen . always cursed to be the saviour while harbouring so many complicated and dark urges .

we also talked about ^ the canon divergence and how gellert would be such an exasparated husband. everyone loves albus. gellert isn’t capable of being pleasant in the same way albus is pleasant. albus is able to blend in and make people like him, gellert was expelled from durmstrang and is a downright cunt who wont put in an effort to be liked by people he doesnt care about

i also believe they wouldve been in a secret relationship. like they meet in 1899 and even if it IS the wizarding world, i dont think they were that open-minded about same sex couples back then. so it would drive gellert INSANE !!! he can’t even put a possessive arm around albus at the #function to mark his territory . albus would tease him for how grumpy he is. as if albus isn’t listing dark spells in his head whenever someone flirts with gellert and whispers them in his ear while they fuck in some gala closet or whatever

also. me and kara fully and completely ignore the fucking quillin or deer or whatever kneeling for albus. like what the fuck was that. albus being pure of heart and having good intentions ? when it’s canon that he tells harry he’s not good and shouldnt be trusted in a position of power ? we are blatantly ignoring that as ’canon’ . like, the heartbreaking thing about them is that neither of them are bad and neither of them are good and they couldve met in the middle. but didnt . and the result is a two month summer fling haunting you for the rest of your lives until both of you die in your own towers. THEY COULDVE HAD IT ALLLLLLLL . THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS YOU IS THE PERSON YOU HAVE TO DEFEAT !!!!!!!!!!! sick and twisted .

[onyondump]

Just a Touch : Rough Night Soldier?

Arthur x M!Reader/OC!Karsa Hendriks

Summery : Arthur is in a daze after disposing a 'rat' in Tommy's request and ended up in front of his friends apartment.

Masterlist | Moodboard | First | Third

this is my first time uploading my fanfic and my grammer isn't great so please don't eat me alive thank you

'Rough night soldier?'

The comforting smell of burnt wood, tobacco and jasmine waken Arthur's tired eyes. Unbeknownst to him, his body took itself to the front steps of a familiar friend's apartment and now he's sitting on his sofa with a hand covered in blood, not his ofcourse.

"Aye" he couldn't bring himself to look anywhere but his shaking bloody hands. Another job to take care off, another body to dispose and another maddening night.

A warm towel envelopes his hands, scrubbing it off the remains of his victim. A victim to his viciousness with a beating pulse and a life, but of course anyone who dares cross the Shelby's will face the consequences. Even if their only sin is to breath at their direction.

'Heads up, let me clean your face!'

He does as he's told, like always, from his father, his comander and now his brother.

It's for the good of the family, sacrifices have to be made, they will all reap the reward in the end. But every time he follows orders, why is he in a deeper pit then the rest? It's so dark

'Hello *snap* *snap* Art!! Don't daydream too much or a spirit will possessyour body'

A small chuckle escape his thin dry lips. His friend sometimes have the same superstition as his aunt. How interesting that two people from each end of the earth would have the same believes.

"Don't worry mate, I'm already the devil yeah? No spirits will possess me" He laughs as the other scoffs

'Should have known the only way for you to wake up is to make fun of me' as a revenge the man infront of him scrub his face harder and a white shirt is thrown onto his lap as his companion plops onto the space besides him. Watching him.

'Thats the last good shirt I have this week before laundry day. You better not come here dirty again!'

This is their new routine now. Arthur would come to his friend's house either drunk, high, in a trance or all three at once and his companion would take care of him until the song bird calls for his return.

He would feel guilty about using his kindness like this but it doesn't seem like the other man mind. So he assumes he's welcome anyways.

When Arthur finish putting on the shirt, a loud cough followed by a puff of heavy dark smoke emits from his companions mouth.

'SHIT!!'

Another laugh comes from Arthur this time with a booming sound,

"HAHAHA Your really bad with cigars eh?"

'SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU PRICK, this shit is strong'

Arthur's snatch the fat cigar from his friends fingers and takes a long hard suck as the heavy smoke travels his lungs, coating it with tar. He puffs out slowly but surely, the kiss of death.

"This shit! Is for real men. Not like yours small ones"

'Whatever Art' he snatches back the cigar he lit and tries to do the same but failing at the last second and was mocked again with the chuckle of the moustached men as they countine to share the cigar between eachother.

Nights like these would make him forget what he was doing just 5 hours ago. It's certainly no Tokyo but it does the trick and usually leave no side effects. Just two best friends together in a smoke filled room, alone.

"Do you think I'll ever be normal?"

'There aints such thing as normal Art. Just work with what you have and try to move forward'

"But what if I'm tired? What if I don't want to move forward? I can't shut the door like Tommy tells me to!"

'Then you fix the hinge, oil it up and air out the smoke once in awhile. It's not like a door is just for closing'

With that comment, finally every thread in Arthur's body snapped. Another booming laugh emerge, what a stupid thing to say. Tears and sobs accompany his laughter he couldn't stop himself its almost hysterical. The dam is broken and everything is on fire.

'Uh..Art.. the Cigar?"

The last light of the cigar finally went out, burning Arthur's finger in the process but the man was too caught up in tears to react as his companion hold his burnt fingers and rubs it with his own. Arthur laughed and cried for a long time that night and through it, his friend didn't say a word while calming the wound. And for that, Arthur never felt more thankful.

Notes : YEEHAW!! I hoped you all understand my incoherent writing. I wrote this as I was waiting for my lecturer to come for assistances. I have not sleep and I crave Arthur. YEEHEE!!! 🍉🍉🍉

Also I have no idea the differences of the different smokes, just pulling it out of my ass.

[my-own-lilypad]

This is a post just about my thoughts about Luca Guadagnino and Timmy and others. It's just personal musings, feel free to ignore and keep scrolling if it's not for you. Or block if you feel the need.

The thing about Luca and Timothee is, so there are scenes in CMBYN where Timmy is naked and we see his ass. Not full-frontal but he is naked. And we see him walking around like that. Now, that is pleasurable for viewers, for us, for certainly the many gay men watching the film, and there is nothing wrong with that, I want to make that clear. I don't find anything wrong for example, with an older gay man desiring a younger man. I do not equate pederasty with paedophilia, absolutely not, they are not the same thing. I am not attacking the relationship between an erastes (the older male) and his eromenos (younger male). I understand the nature of that relationship. Therefore I understand gay men coming to this film and getting pleasure out of seeing Timothee Chalamet playing a 17-year-old and being butt naked. Timothee is an erastes' wet dream, that is just a fact. Nothing wrong in it, I'm sure Timothee must be well aware of it. So the thing is, Luca chose to have Timothee nude in the film. That was his choice. This is where it starts to get complicated. Timothee's body was used to create that desire in Luca's audience. Luca was selling his eromenos to an audience of eraste, particularly men who had lived through the 80s and been either Elio's age at the time or Oliver's. Timothee walking around nude is a great incentive for them to watch the film, and also the peach fucking and the blow-job scene etc. Now put that in the context of a long warm summer amongst the trees of Northern Italy, good food, good wine, books and learning, cultured people and it all seems very romantic and sweet, innocent even. And it is, the film is all of those things, that's what makes it great art. But the relationship still exists between Luca and Timmy, that Luca sold Timmy's body and Timmy consented. I'm not saying there is necessarily anything wrong with that, I'm not on some moral rampage, and the film was not overtly sexual but more an exploration of desire, you can't fault the film on that, it was done very well, but that relationship exists. And it's there again in Bones and All in the field scene, I mean any eraste would look at Timmy in that scene and get aroused. It was a very sexy scene, Timmy is a very sexy guy, he can turn that on when he needs to, and he was really sexy in that film in lots of different ways, overtly and in more vulnerable and intimate ways-it was the only good thing about the film. What's the point I'm trying to make? Well there isn't one, I guess.

Luca brushed AH's accusations away and now he is directing a film based on a book written by a man who thinks AH is innocent (Bret Easton Ellis), and that book is pretty misogynistic in a good old fashioned 80s way, see previous post. I just feel like something aint right there. It just does not sit right with me.

[suzakushimon]

Thoughts on Jing Liu quest?

AHAHAHAHA (negative connotation)

u came to the right person anon, i have a lot to say...

IT WASNT THAT GREAT..... at first i spent a whole night convincing myself it was a reasonable way for the story to go but they did dan heng WAY too dirty. idk why luofu writing is so SHIT but if the current scandal is true and an employee rly has been messing w the story just to mess w the female fans, it explains a lot 💀

there were parts i liked: the art + the fight scene was a banger + how jingliu points out dan heng fights exactly like dan feng. it emphasizes how, whether he likes it or not, there are some things dh has inherited from df and he cant escape that. his appearance, his spear, his bracer, the ribbon, his vidyadhara powers, etc etc... if it wasnt for df, dh wouldnt be who he is today-- thats the truth, and its something dh can grow to accept.

but holy FUCK. the way they handled everything else. dan heng's memories. jingliu's introduction and her motives. blade's characterization. THE PLOTHOLES. just....ITS KINDA ALL WRONG!!!!!

IN MY OPINION. dan heng's whole POINT is that he doesnt remember his past life/his "past". he considers those memories as "not his", and asserts himself as his own individual person without them. its IMPORTANT he doesnt remember anything + that he doesnt NEED to bc this way he contrasts march 7th and the trailblazer, who also dont have their past memories-- but those 2 WANT to remember, are actively trying to, and they DO consider their past memories/past life as part of "themselves". whereas dan heng runs from his past and tries to find his "true self" without it, march and trailblazer run towards theirs, trying to catch glimpses of their "true selves" through it.

SO THERE'S LITERALLY NO REASON HE HAS TO REMEMBER DAN FENG'S PAST. it completely messes up his character arc/the message his character is trying to send!! they backpedaled so hard on their stance towards dan heng... first it was "only u can determine who u are, no one else; the expectations others hold for u dont matter" and now its "u are him no matter what u do, these sins are yours". like WHAT???? jingliu's quest just made more people equate dan heng with dan feng when the story is SUPPOSED to emphasize that they r DIFFERENT PEOPLE💀💀💀💀

dan heng did decide to face dan feng's sins, but he's NOT a part of the quintet. he's a WHOLE NEW PERSON. so why was he invited as a part of the quintet, but bailu wasn't?? its like theyre saying bailu is a whole new person, but dan heng is still dan feng, WHICH GOES AGAINST HIS CHARACTER THEMES(i am silenced and forced to sit down) anyways imo if bailu didn't have to attend the worlds worst high school reunion, dan heng shouldn't have had to attend either!!!! THIS AINT HIS PROBLEM. DAN HENG GET BEHIND ME!!!!!!!!!

his convo with blade at the end was so ooc it killed me. like, a little walk with his past life's old friend, and suddenly he's willing to forgive blade's literal years of stalking and attacking him??? now hes willing to play along with the vengeance he spent his whole life insisting was directed at the wrong person???????? i only chose that option bc the one on top sounded so wimpy/out of place it also felt ooc to me 💀 he wouldnt show weakness to blade, but there's no way he'd be that accepting either. maybe 3 years later and x patches in, but not NOW...

and jingliu. ooooh girlie. JINGLIU. THEY DID HER SOOOO FUCKING DIRTY. she's a new character. casuals/people who dont dig through lore don't know anything abt her except that shes jingyuans teacher. so why is her INTRODUCTION a fucking CONCLUSION TO HER CHARACTER ARC???? shes already DONE wandering and finding an answer in her heart. shes already DONE deciding whether or not to keep running or face her past. now shes mourning for a PERSON WE DONT EVEN KNOW. we watch her get closure for her dead girlfriend. BUT SO WHAT??? WE DONT EVEN KNOW EITHER OF THEM!!! SEEING HER GET CLOSURE MEANS NOTHING TO US. ITS JUST AWKWARD. why was her INTRO her fucking CHARACTER ARC'S CONCLUSION!!!!!!! they should've made her quest like luocha's, where all we did was speculate and her real motives remained a mystery. then we couldve been spared from this shitfest!!!!

the difference in quality between belobog story and luofu story is insane!!!! like, just compare luka's quest to jinglius....hello??? its crazy how unsympathetic they made her. it was literally "tell not show" instead of "show not tell".

anyways im just upset at dan heng's treatment. like, this character has a clear message/direction they were going for, but jinglius quest kind of stomps all over it, and her quest was supposed to introduce her but her introduction flopped hard. she was so much cooler when we saw her during yanqings quest and she was half insane. its awkward to mourn for someone we dont even know and its awkward to watch someone we dont know mourn. and, ngl, it rly felt like they only added dan heng in there bc they want more ppl to care abt the quintet. that whole quest couldve been through jingliu's pov where the reunion only happened between blade, jingliu, and jingyuan, so why wasn't it??? as opposed to those three, dan heng already moved on from the past. it was awkward for dan heng and for the audience💀

tldr i had high expectations bc i thought hoyo cared abt the quintet but not only did it flop it also dragged dan heng's characterization through the mud

[moonvalecrossing]

Alright, top 3 favorite and least Gym Leaders of Paldea?

Hell yeah Fam lets do this! PROBABLY MORE SCARLET AND VIOLET SPOILERS KIND OF. THIS IS YOUR ONLY WARNING. Also unpopular opinions probably! I aint stopping you from liking what you like. Nobody attack me for the following!

Favorites first.

#3. Kofu. I like the colors in his design. I like that he's a friendly old man. I also liked how they used him to introduce a side activity in the game that I might otherwise have completely passed by. Even though I wound up climbing the mountain around Cascarrafa in order to get to the other town he went to because I was scared to cross the desert and run into the part of Arven's quest that was out there. I want to try his cooking.

#2. Grusha. The last gym leader is always supposed to be the strongest and I did not expect to find the Ice Type gym in this slot. Of course, but his point in the game I was a tad over leveled. By this point in the game, even when I was swapping out and training entire teams for a gym/team star/legend battle I was already thinking about what mons I'd take to the elite four and any other endgame stuff so I already had a pretty good party set up. I sorta pulled the rug out from under this cool cucumber's sassy ass. It was absolutely adorable how he was clearly embarrassed when our character asks for a picture with him after earning the badge.

#1. Larry. Larry is we all. All of us are Larry at some point. This man is so tired you guys. He just wants to get his job done. He didn't want to be a gym leader, he's just really good at it so that's his job now. The poor thing is even one of the elite four. How did they manage to make a tired salaryman a pokemon trainer? I don't know but I'm so happy he exists 10/10 I would hang out and share a meal with him when he had some time off.

Honorable mention: Ryme. Her hair is dreadlocks shaped like skeleton parts. She's a rapping old lady and that is rad as FUCK. Yes, queen! SLAY! RAISE THE DEAD. NECROMANCY!! The only thing I didn't like about her design was the fact the people who made her model made her dress so damn tight that you could see her navel through the fabric as well as the damn creases where her thighs meet her abdomen. Not even rapping grandmothers are safe from the male gaze anymore, folks. Every woman wears vacuum sealed plastic in the future.

Now the least favorites! Preface: I don't HATE these characters. Well besides the unlucky duck who's sitting at the top of the #1 slot. I kinda really hate them but we'll get to that. <3

#3. Brassius. PUT DOWN YOUR PITCHFORKS, DID YOU SKIP THAT PARAGRAPH UP THERE JUST NOW? I don't hate him. But... I don't really like him too much either. I want to, don't get me wrong. I'm a sucker for artist characters. I've always considered myself an artist. But... this guy is a lot of what I hate about artist characters. A bit abnormal? The dude was standing on the damn windmill before the battle started and implied he watched us collect those sunflora from all the way up there. He uses the word 'avant-garde' way too much. Also, gonna say it now. His pieces of art aren't that great. He's got like 200 of the same sunflora statue all over Artazon. It's not even that impressive of a statue. Just slightly exaggerated of a regular Sunflora. And whatever that other work is supposed to be... yes, okay sure Brassius is such a skilled artist that his weird thorn ring thing needs to be shown on billboards all over that one city. At least they decided to give the multiple copy pastes of this piece different colors. And then there's the class he joins in during Mr. Hassel's teachings at school. If you pick the wrong emotion when he asks how he was feeling when he made that damn sunflora statue? "No no no... completely and utterly wrong!" Look here you avant-asshole. If there's one thing that really rustles my jimmies its 'artists' who get offended at someone having an incorrect interpretation of your art. You made a mildly constipated looking sunflora statue, not some great piece depicting Arceus mourning over having no choice but sealing Giratina away. Get out of my art class before you spread your bad personality to the younger students. Don't glare at me when those creepy eyebrowless eyes. You look 24 going on 79. Burgh will always be the superior artistic gym leader!

#2. Tulip. Okay, so overall I love this woman's design. Well besides whatever the Kentucky fried fuck is going on with her eyelashes. Like, goddamn woman. Stay away from open flames they might catch fire. How do you hold you eyes open with that much weight on them? However, the design is about all I like about her. We're introduced to her gabbing on her phone. She's not thinking about the gym battle she's about to be challenged to, oh no. She's too busy planning out a makeup line with someone. And this cake-up faced woman has the gall to decide the tagline for this new line of cosmetics should be 'naturally beautiful'. Uh, honey, no. Please do not enforce the idea that 'natural' beauty needs eyeshadow, mascara, lipstick, and the whole nine yards. It's bad enough that women end up trapped in a Schrodinger's Box of being 'slutty' and 'fake' if they wear too much makeup, or looking like a corpse or they're sick if they don't have enough makeup on. When she finally deigns to get off the damn phone she's quick to let you know that being gym leader is just a side gig and that her make focus is all about makeup. She then calls our character cute and says that her ESP training made us all the more beautiful. Woman your challenge was possibly my least favorite of all of the gym challenges. It was obnoxious and all it made me feel was a strong desire to have my Annihilape break your nose. And when we finally beat her? One of the first things she says is that she should take you under her wing before we find our big break somewhere else. You stay away from me, lady. This tube of purple lipstick is all I want in life. Oh, and I hope you trip on your heels when you get back to your absolutely packed schedule. Seriously, don't quit your day job. Quit your side gig. Let me battle someone with a better personality. Also? Ryme's got better taste in makeup than you.

#1. Iono. I hate this child. I hate this child so, so much. Gamefreak did an amazing job of recreating everything I hate about the stereotypic streamer girl persona. LOL SO CUTE AND RANDOM INTRODUCTION? Punny name? Oh, Iunno, looks like it! A weird-ass crazy vtuber design? Hot damn this kid's got it all! It's a good thing she's got simps like Electro King throwing money at her because after she filed her teeth down to get those absurd spikes her dental work must be an absolute nightmare. Like Tulip, Iono is clearly more focused on her job outside of working as a gym leader. She only cares about how many views you can get her. She even says as much before introducing her gym 'challenge'. We can't 'collab' with her unless we play a cheap man's version of where is waldo with some random guy she pulled off the street (who luckily just so happened to be someone we could easily recognize). If we can't get this narcissistic cotton candy brat the views she wants, we'll fail. Were I actually in this universe, my gym challenge would have ended right here because I would have called her out on that shit, walked right out of the gym, filed a complaint with the league, and bought tickets to the furthest away region I could as well as got my legal name changed as soon as I touched down. I'll be carrying my best pokemon on me at all times because there's no way in hell I'm getting jumped by rabid manlets because I called out their waifu. My brother keeps telling me she's a grown ass woman. Yeah, okay. I don't care how many thousands of years old that dragon loli is she looks like a child. The final cherry on this sundae is how she signs off after losing her gym battle. I'm guessing she's supposed to do that heart symbol with her hands as the camera zooms in on it but, unfortunately, her designers decided to give her some bigass sleeves that cover her hands. So in that split second zoom we get, all I saw was the camera zoom in on this child-looking streamer's non-existent boobs. Fantastic and not the least bit unfitting. I bet Electro King had more pokebucks for her after that one. Also she did what I absolutely hate and had an electric type that's immune to ground types because of FUCKING LEVITATE. Fuck. I hate that ability so goddamn much. How dare you make me dislike Mismagius in any way.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

[xvnexx]

Random Twitter, Instagram Bios

“Mornings are for coffee and contemplation.” - Jim Hopper

“I always thought stuff like this happened in movies and comic books.”- Bob Newby

“let the bridges I burn light the way”

I think a lot, but don’t say much

Be more than what you’re worth

did you not see the crown I wear before you spoke?

any maybe one day you’ll find peace with yourself

this place aint for the faint hearted

don’t touch my crown with your filthy hands

make your own rules

yes I know im dramatic

surround yourself by those that will understand your heart and your mind

women power

emptying my life onto here

everyday is a different story, unless you’re me where everyday is one story about eating, sleeping and tv shows

what you’re about to see may be explicit

in conclusion Im bitter

story strong for yourself.

the heart is full of many secrets

all I want in life is glowing smooth skin

always aim for progress

you can still create art even with just one colour

collecting the moments

happiness is a great colour

when ever she/he comes close to me I alway hear the sirens

yes I still fucking post pictures of food

“lifes to short to be wearing boring clothes”

this is my story. it’s my art

don’t become dependent on others

nothing ever works out for me

don’t let the words of other change what you believe in

we can be friends if you understand my vine references

be someone who always keeps going

live life like you’re creating art; capture the beauty and erase the mistakes.

open your heart just enough to let the demons escape, not your soul.

always think positive, you’ll be happier

stand out from the crowd

lover of all thing pink and pastel

never give up on what you believe

never let other touch your crown, they’ll be quick to kick you off the throne

It’s you that I remember whenever my favorite songs are playing

she has thorns in her heart but still smiles

collecting the memories

happiness looks great on you

if show me your knife and I’ll show you sarcasm

Don’t let the actions of others portray you. paint your own picture

welcome to my art

inhale creativity, exhale originality

bitchin

I easily often everyone

try to find happiness in every situation

I still have that 2008 tumblr emo side to me

break the rules and create your own

queens supporting other queens

problematic but funny

you know its bad yet you still let yourself explore

hold on tight this ride is never stopping

just say it how it is and you’ll find the people that’ll never leave you

kindness is so slept on

sorry only I can touch my crown

if you believe their lies, you’ll become numb to the free and beautiful

if you never lay out the right foundation the future will never stand

see good in all things

do what bring light in your life

you’re not doing it right if you’ve still got money left in you bank account

good vibes only

let happiness override the sadness

bring out the light

find what puts the soul on fire

even just a gentle touch would break her/his fragile heart

put yourself first

yup thats right I still watch spongebob

self-care is important

a gallon of water every day, I still got bad skin I just gotta pee more

put it in reverse

finding the definition of life

the world beneath was crumbling and he/she still stood strong

back off bitch hiss hiss

im moving to bikini bottom bye mom.

short but simple

try even if you know you’re going to fail

when its dark let the smile shine through

On a never-ending journey on an adventure I’m still to find

Find yourself before you rescue others.

the heart still beats ever after its been broken

“Don’t you know I ain’t fucking with them good boys?”

always try to learn something new everyday

its okay to fight your own battles first before you fight in other peoples.

match my energy

watch me finesse yo dumbass

yes I own more than just one black shirt. I own 10

we’re all just stars lost in space

don’t let other make the rules for you

I want to create

comfortable silence is so slept on

and all it took was a touch of gold

“Ain’t you ever seen a princess be a bad bitch?”

never listen to those that they to darken the light in your life

im proud of myself

neither lost nor found

have a positive mindset

im honestly a troubled kid looking for dank memes

don’t look back, chase whats in front

no thanks, I don’t want leftover

I stare at the stars every night thinking what could have been

lets the sadness fade away

I should socialise more

the mark he/she left was eternal

ephemeral: lasting for a very short time

and she/he was idyllically innocent

scintillate: to emit sparks; to twinkle, as the stars

she/he was a psychedelic drug

I never listened to her/his mistakes but always heard her/his smile

choose life

you really tried it

its fine we all make mistakes, you were just born as one

explore to find what defines you

she cute but she also a psycho

sorry but the page you’ve found may be toxic for you

how far will you go?

Everything pours out

Break through the cage around her/his heart

She/he’s calling for a name, but it’s written in stone

if I let go of you, I’ll drop you to the ground

one you start counting the stars you’ll end up stranded

jammin to 2000 bops

its lifeless art

a princess

[venomous-ko]

Wine Drunk while watching Godzilla vs Kong

Some major spoilers up ahead!

Mans really just annoyed the shit out of his coworker until he left so he could hack shit, huh?...I love it! 🤣🤣

——————————————

You mean to tell me that the explanation for why Godzilla attacked the one tech company site by the dude who studied Kaiju communication and behavior for a living is just, “sometimes people (and creatures) change”???? Like some dumbass justifying a toxic person/relationship??? Like excuse me???? Why are the literal teenagers making more sense than you?????

Also, we’re all in agreement that this facility is either housing Ghidora’s dead head, Mecha Godzilla, or Mecha Ghidora, right?!?

——————————————

Lol! “Apex Cybernetics!” That’s not foreshadowing! 🤣

——————————————

Apparently, I didn’t get my fill of white nonsense from Falcon and Winter Soldier, bc someone decided to put this blonde-hair-blue-eyed little bitch in charge! That’s not ganna go wrong somehow. 🙃😑👀

Like this bitch literally wanted to send a fucking child into unexplored hollow earth territory without a second thought! 🙃🙃🙃🙃 I was literally like 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕 for that entire convo.

——————————————

I’m sorry! This conspiracy man just met these teenagers, and his first impulse was, “yeah, theses seem like some good people to break into a tech conglomerate with!” 🤣🤣🤣🤣

——————————————

Why are these people surprised Kong knows sign language? These are people who study Kaiju (and presumably other animals in order to draw conclusions about certain behaviors) for a fucking living!!! We have primate species that recognize and communicate in sign language already! Why is this surprising???!?! Like...has NO ONE except this precious child tried this????

Also, nothing bad better happen to this child.

——————————————

That ship literally fucked around, and Godzilla let it find out! Lmao!

——————————————

Kong: Hey, Godzilla...look at me...

Godzilla: >:[

Kong: ...bitch.

——————————————

Precious girl: Thank you, friend 🧏🏽‍♀️

Kong: ☺️😴

THIS GIRL IS TOO PRECIOUS!!!!

——————————————

Bitch-ass White Man: How’s Kong with heights?

BITCH, you really ganna try that?!?! You really think you ganna find any aircraft(s) that are ganna be able to support all that weight?? Never mind any other problems with Kong trying to nope the fuck out of that situation and all kind of other hosts of problems!

And if you do somehow have one (or multiple) WHY TF DIDN’T YOU USE THAT BEFORE KNOWING FULL AND WELL YOU RAN THE RISK OF GODZILLA MERCING KONG’S ASS IF YOU TRAVELED VIA SHIP!?!?!?!

——————————————

Down the Hell Naw tunnel we go!

——————————————

“I think it’s romantic,”

I fucking love Millie Bobbie Brown’s character!! 🤣❤️🤣

——————————————

WHY IS THIS TEENAGER SMARTER THAN EVERYBODY OMG!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

——————————————

“This is page one in the ‘Playing God’ handbook, right?”

I’ve decided I love this character! 🤣

——————————————

WHY YOU GETTING INSIDE THAT THING—Oh god! 😨 Why y’all got eggs!?!? This is like if Weyland-Yutani succeeded in getting Xenomorphs! 😬

——————————————

Oop! Locked in! THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T HIDE OUT IN MYSTERIOUS ROOMS!!!!

——————————————

Oh shit! Apex Cybernetics think they on that Wakanda shit now!

Also, why was that one Apex Cybernetics bitch bitching about how one of those HEAV crafts could power Vagas for a week if y’all clearly have a whole network or transportation using this tech!

And I never understood how tech companies kept that shit to world domination shit! Build a public transportation system with that shit! Boss man said he likes ideas that make him rich! Pretty sure that would do the trick!

——————————————

WINE BREAK!!!

Saving the rest of the last bottle for coking Gumbo, so gotta open up a new bottle

——————————————

Aw, Kong is so sick of this bullshit! 😂😭

——————————————

“It’s not working”

Bruh! Give it more that two seconds!

——————————————

HOW DARE Y’ALL USE KONG’S LOSS AGAINST HIM!!!! HOW DARE Y’ALL!!!

——————————————

HEAV go Brrrrrrr Shoooooooooooom!!!!

——————————————

LMAO!!! Monarch has their own brand of bottled water!?!?! Idk why that amuses me so much!

——————————————

This hallow earth portal thing is some Pacific Rim bullshit right here, lol!

——————————————

NYOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM

——————————————

Are we...are we really Ice Age: Dawn of Dinosaur-ing this shit rn??? 😂😂😂

——————————————

“It’s beautiful,”

Of course it’s beautiful! No hoomins have touched it! Lol

——————————————

Y’ALL GOT FUCKIN DRAGONS IN THIS BITCH!?!?!?!!! 8D YO!!! SIGN ME THE FUCK UP!!!!

——————————————

*marvels at the creature creation ideas*

——————————————

Kong’s first thought: *nom the dragon guts*

——————————————

THE ROCK HAND OMG IM GANNA CRY!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 It’s the same gesture the Precious Girl did OMG!!!!

——————————————

“We going in?”

“Yeah”

The BALLS on this child!

——————————————

“AAAAHH 😐”

*fear*

LMAO!!!!! I’M FUCKIN WHEEZING!!!

——————————————

“Sacrifice Pit”

OMG 🤣🤣🤣

——————————————

I KNEW IT!!!! MECHA-GODZILLA MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!! 8DDDDD

——————————————

YO PACIFIC RIM RAN SO MECHA-GODZILLA COULD FUCKIN SPRINT!!!!!!!!

——————————————

YO IT’S A GOOD THING I AIN’T SEEING THIS IN THEATERS BC I’D BE FLIPPING MY SHIT!!!!

——————————————

“Humanity, once again, will be the apex species,”

THERE it is!

——————————————

Why Mecha-Godzilla so skeeny?!? He need ta be thicc if he ganna take down REAL Godzilla!

——————————————

*Ryan Bergera conspiracy voice* Is this the real reason Kong was contained!? So this douche could snatch up Skull Crawlers without Kong intervention???

——————————————

OH SHIT!!! I think this thing is emitting alpha waves (or whatever we’re calling it) and THAT’s what set Godzilla off!!! He fought Ghidorah, heard this shit and went, “Nu-uh, bitch! NOT AGAIN!!!”

——————————————

Monarch dude: Yo, Godzilla’s headed to Hong Kong for some reason?

FUCKIN CALLED IT!!!

——————————————

This look like the door to fuckin General Grievous’s lair,da fuq?!? 🤣🤣🤣

 ——————————————

I got waaay too emotional over that handprint, y’all! 😭😭😭

——————————————

Y’all, the fucking art history major in me is fuckin screaming at this temple scene! The fact that some of these Kaiju not only had the urge and drive and capacity to build a fucking temple around this power source or some shit and create weapons like the axe that Kong just fucking Excalibured the shit out of that one skull crawler’s skull fucking implies the fact that there is intelligent civilization amongst these fucking Kaiju and all that shit! I want to know more about this shit! Take that you fucking racist-ass white historian motherfuckers!

(Note: I definitely needed to use talk to text for much of this bit, because there was no way I was going to be able to contain all my excitement in just typing, alone, lmao)

——————————————

BRUH!!! Why y’all exiting g the HEAV without no breathing apparatus or lead suits or nothing!?!?! In previous movies, y’all implied that these Kaiju lived in environments in which their environments were hella radioactive compared to our own!!!

——————————————

Kong is s the true heir to the iron throne, Lmao!

——————————————

FUCKING CALLED IT!!!! THEY HAD GHIDORA’S REMAINS IN THERE SOMEWHERE!!!!

——————————————

OH FUCK!!!! Y’ALL AINT JUST SENDING OUT ALPHA VIBES WITH YOUR MECHA-GODZILLA!!!! YOU SOMEHOW USING GHIDORA’S HIVE MIND OR TELEPATHY SHIT TO DO IT!?!?!?! AAAWWWWW SHEEEEEET!!! Y’ALL ARE BONED NOW!!!! FUCKIN BONEROWNED!!!!

——————————————

Godzilla! My bruh! My dude! You didn’t HAVE TO get up right where that bridge was!!! 😂😂 Ya douche bag!!!

——————————————

At the same time, tho, I can just hear him going, “Ah! FUCK! NOT AGAIN!!! Sunova bitch!! Motherfuckin!! STOP BUILDING sHIT SO DAMN HIGH!!! Goddammit!”

——————————————

You know, with all the Bright twinkly lights in Hong Kong, I can’t help but think of the sequel to the original Gojira movie ( that I can’t remember the title of ,rn) where he was fucking triggered by fucking lights. And I wonder if this little scene where he’s stomping all through Hong Kong is a tribute to that or whatever. But I’m probably overthinking it.

[Sober Edit: it was Godzilla Raids Again]

——————————————

*GASP* HOLY SIHIIIT!!! The axe is made out of Godzilla skute!?!?! GOLY BALLS THAT’S NOT ONLY COOL BUT CONTRIBUTES MORE TO THE FACT THAT THESE KAIJU (likely Kong’s species, in particular) WERE REALLY FUCKING INTELLIGENT AMD TJOUGHT, “Imma beat this muthafucka with their own spiky thing! Bc that’s what screws us over, so, why WOULD’nt it hurt them!?!” I need SO MUCH MORE of this Kaiju/Kong culture studied and shit! HOLY FUCK!!!

It even fucking glows!! Like ... they managed to fucking piece together that its glow was a fucking warning sign like Sting or some shit!!!! Holy fuck!!!!

Also, how does that work? How are the skutes still connected even after dismemberment???

 ——————————————

NO FUCKIN WAY WRE YOU—AAAAAAAAHHH!!! Excalibur that shit my boi!!!!

——————————————

I FUCKIN LOVE YHIS MOVIE HOLY SHIT!!!

——————————————

“ that’s Apex property now,”

Excuse me bitch! Are we really not gonna listen to the scientist who saying “hey we don’t understand the shit out of this fucking power! Maybe we should hold off on taking some fucking samples!”

Are we really just gonna ignore that shit???????

 ——————————————

Kong said: TRY ME BITCH!!!!

——————————————

Oh thank the GODS this Serizawa dude is taking precautions like his old man! Also, what is his relation to Ken Watanabe’s Serizawa!?!?!

——————————————

UH OH!! SOLDIER DUDES GETTIN ATE!!!

——————————————

OH SHIT!!! PILOT JUST GOT ATE!!! FUCKIN DRAGON BASEMENT UP IN THIS SHIT!!!

——————————————

BITCH YOU REALLY GON THROW A ROCK AT IT!!! FUCKIN NONSENSE OF THIS BITCH!!!

——————————————

LOVE AND FITE ME ENERGY IS STORED IN THE ATOMIC BREATH

——————————————

“Shoot him!”

WHY!!!???!! He literally had NO problem with you before then!!!

——————————————

Why does white man who don’t know anything about this vehicle suddenly know how to pilot this shit!???!?!!!!!

 ——————————————

Y’all love had SO MUCH wine!

——————————————

The FUCK this dude got a flip flop phone for!!!?!????!!!?

Da fuq!?!?! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 yeah that’s the most unrealistic part of this entire fucking movie! Not the fuckin Kaiju robots. Not the fucking hollow earth bullshit! The fucking flip phone! LMFAO!!!!

——————————————

“Maintenance! I’M MAINTENANCE!!! This bitch ain’t buying it”

That made me laugh WAY FUCKIN harder that it should have!!!!

——————————————

Y’all really ganna try to shoot at a kid!?! REALLY!?!?!??!

——————————————

GAWD, I’m so glad I impulse bought these oatmeal bites from Dominos! 🤤😋

[Sober Edit: I have no idea how my autocorrect managed to convert “Parmesan” to “oatmeal,” but okay! 😆😅]

——————————————

Kong be like, “Hey, bitch!!! You lookin’ for me!?!?”

——————————————

Find you a partner that bites your neck like Godzilla does! Lmao!

Sorry, I’ll be crawling back into my hell hole, now.

——————————————

EAT YOUR FOOKIN VEGETABLES GODZILLA!!!!!

——————————————

Did Godzilla just axe throw with his fuckin teefs!!!????!?!?!

——————————————

THIS IS THE FOOKIN MONSTER VS MONSTER FIGHTS IVE BEEN CRAVING SINCE KING OF THE MONSTERS HOLY SHIT!!!!

——————————————

“Really? Groupies, again?”

First of all, again!?! What happened last time???

Secondly, where tf are YOUR grpupies, asshole! No need to judge! Ya cunt!

——————————————

“There can only be one alpha,”

Really! You really gotta bring your toxic masculinity into a fuckin monster fight, my dude!?!

——————————————

Kong said, “Yeet! YEET SELF!!!”

——————————————

I am living for the feral fight scenes!!!!

——————————————

Kong’s expression , tho! 🤣🤣🤣

Like, “Can you ducking NOT, Godzilla?!? Can you, like, fucking chill??!!? Aight, fine! ASDASHKLSDJKLDZJL ADKLKDZDJ!!!!!!”

——————————————

Awwwww! Godzilla let Kong go, bc he knows what it’s like to be the last of his species! 🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭

——————————————

“This is how we [...] win!”

Oh, honey, you ‘bout to die! Lmao! 😂

——————————————

Oh god! I knew he was going to use the sign for “coward” at the most inappropriate time! Lmao! At least the Precious Girls is smart enough to know what Dumbass White Man means, lol

——————————————

Oh, thank god we do t see this dumbass in any sequels!

——————————————

Dammit, he escaped!

——————————————

This girl is too good!

——————————————

Did y’all really think you were ganna break into a semi-sentient Mecha-Godzilla by GUESSING ITS FUCKING PASSWORD!!?!?!?!!!!???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

——————————————

YEAH!!!! TEAM-UP COMING THROUGH!!!!!

——————————————

“I was hoping to die with adults, but that’s okay,”

🤣🤣🤣

——————————————

“I’VE GOT TO DIE WITB YOU AND SOBER!!?!?!”

GOD, I love this movie!!!!

——————————————

OOOOOOHHHH HOLY SHIT!!!!! 😱😱😱😱😱 He powering up the axe!!!!!

——————————————

YOOOOOO KONG WENT PREDATOR/YOUTJA ON MECHA-GODZILLA’s ASS!!!!

——————————————

Kong said, “I’m done, y’all! Imma take a nap!”

——————————————

“Dad. Uh...Bernie.”

I fucking love Bernie!!! 😂😂😂😂

——————————————

JIA NOOOO!!! Don’t go running between two disgruntled Kaiju bby!!

——————————————

Yo, why do monsters have less toxic masculinity than we do??? Lol!

——————————————

Yaaaaaay! Kong has a new home!!

——————————————

WELP!!! I fucking loved this movie, and I highly recommend it to everyone!!!

[theficplug]

Next Lifetime l Erik Killmonger l

previous chapters : Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 part 4

erik killmonger x black reader

part 5 (18+)

“I love you more than you’ll ever know, but because I love you. You know that we can’t stay like this. They’ll find you before nightfall.” you say Erik as he places kisses to your shoulder and wraps his arms around you tighter.

“2 days ago Shuri and Okoye saw you and they’re not just gonna let that go. Iridia and Tika are going to take you with them. Iridia’s dad has a few connections. They can hide you there until I can put an end to this. We both know there won’t be a 3rd chance, Daka, you know that.” you warn and run his fingers up and down your side to try and soothe you. 

“I don’t know if I can do that again. I’ve been without you long enough as it is.. But if that’s what it take. I’mma do it.” he says quietly like the words sit as heavy in his mouth like they do on his heart. 

“Well .. Hey. .. You know , you never really told me what you wanted for Christmas. It’ll technically be a few days afterwards but we make our own rules. I remember saying something about wanting to just go away for a bit. Me and you. After this is all over we can just go. Anywhere you wanna go. Maybe somewhere with snow and mountains and a view that just takes your breath away. Maybe Sweden? We’ll drink hot chocolate with extra marshmallows and bust our ass while trying to ski. We can find new art pieces and i’m not sure of how good the food is there but it’s worth a try. We can do it all. Our whole lives ahead of us.” you say, trying to fill the deafening sound of anxiety that hung in the air.

 “Sweden? I’ve never been there but my dad used to talk about going there when he was younger. My mama would say that she wants us to go visit the island though. She would always talk about beautiful growing up in Kapolei (hawaii) was. I don’t know why I thought you would say somewhere warm. But going somewhere cold gives me a chance to hold you closer. Kiss all over your lil frozen face. We can even put on all them lil cheesy Christmas songs you like. I bet Sweden aint never heard nobody drunk as hell off of hard apple cider singing Santa Clause Is A Black Man at the top of their lungs. But I don’t know about skiing bae. I’d like to keep my ankle bones intact.” N’Jadaka says laughing. 

You put your hand over your eyes before laughing until the point of tears at the fact that of all things he remembers that too. It was one Christmas Eve when he was off duty and back home. Things were different. You knew that things were different between the two of you. 

Your center was freshly opened and you had enough trauma shared between your story, the girls at your center, and Erik to need the relief of several drinks. You were holding onto Erik and singing All I Want For Christmas and soon as Santa Clause Is A Black Man came on you giggled and shook your head. Leave it up to your cousin Aaliyah. You were singing at the top of your lungs along with everyone else before holding a mistletoe over E’s head and leaning in . Before his lips could connect with yours you were heaving all of your lil elf shoes. That holiday part was...interesting.

The way that some of the girls who had accepted the invitation to the holiday party laughed when you walked in. You were branded as the cool auntie from then on. 

“I can’t believe you remember that. And the way I was still trying to be down to try anal that night and you just said to me “if you don’t drink this water and take your tired self to sleep”....You know I love you more than anything, right?” you reassure him while rolling onto his lap and swaying your hips down onto him.

“I do. Do you know that I love you more than anything. I mean I basically moved heaven and hell to come home to you.” he says to you before trailing his hands up from giving your cheeks a squeeze to your sides to take off your shirt.

You two hadn’t bothered with putting on much clothes after coming home and taking a warm bath to soothe your nerves. So there was nothing more than a blanket separating the two of you . 

“Don’t look at me like that.” you whisper to him . 

“What you mean?” N’Jadaka asks dipping his hands in between your legs rubbing at you softly and you lean down to capture his lips with yours. 

“Looking at me like this is the last you’re going to get to do this. I don’t like that…. This is only the beginning my love. So… give me something to hold me over until you come back. Or better yet, fuck me like you mean it.” you whisper against his lips 

“Why don’t you just come with me? We could go and start over.” he suggests

“Daka. You know that we can’t just leave. Things are different now. We have family. I have my girls. I don’t want to live on the run.” your words float in between moans as he begins to scissor his fingers in and out of you and softly massage you with the other while you lean back on your elbows.

“I promise. You’re gonna be alright this time. We’re gonna be just fine. You trust me?” 

He nods his head yes before rolling you over onto your stomach and moving your hips up at an angle so that he can dip into you slowly and then all at once. 

In the wee hours of the next morning you were standing in the kitchen with Iridia, N’Jadaka, and Tika. 

“We still don't really know the hows or the whys. But we don’t need to. You’re our girl and you know that we’d go to hell and back for you if you needed it. And Er- N’Jadaka we know that you may not remember a lot about us now but we got you too.” Tika explains and Iridia nods along while listening to her.

It all still didn’t make sense to all four of you but for some reason life decided to give him a second chance and you wanted to make sure that it was a good one. 

He had already told his parents that he would be back in a few days to a week and that he had finally been accepted that job abroad in Wales. 

Iri and Tika gave you some time to take alone as they watched you both from the door. 

N’Jadaka stood there eyeing you for a second seemingly unsure of the right words to say or what exactly to do. 

“See you later , alligator.” you say to him and watch his face break into the sunshine-y smile that was usually hidden under worry lines and pout on his lips in the past. 

He didn’t get all of his memory or what happened to him, yet but he remembered you and for now that was enough. 

“In a while crocodile.” he says before pulling you into his arms and in for a kiss. 

“Alright , alright. Lover boy , the sooner , the better.” Tika reminds you both and you nod before smoothing out his hoodie and sending him on his way before you changed your mind and left with them.

You paced around your home for days  trying to keep yourself busy. You cleaned. You went over plans to expand the housing projects. You even tried doing yoga and meditation to help soothe yourself. 

2 days later, the knock at your door came as no surprise. You were sitting at the small dining table slowly sipping on the cup of coffee to soothe your nerves. 

You look through the peephole to see Okoye, Shuri, 2 of the Dora Milaje, and T’Challa standing shoulder to shoulder while whispering amongst themselves. 

“The King himself. Tea or coffee?” you ask as you open the door and they storm in after Okoye.

“Where is he?” Okoye asks as two of the women shoves you back and out of the way with their spears slightly and you set your eyes from them to T’Challa with a raise of an eyebrow.

You accessed the situation and realized that it wouldn’t be wise for you to lose your composure now. 

While smoothing out your hair, you turn your attention to T’Challa. “This is still my home and I would ask that you’d hold the same level of respect that I would have for yours.” you warn and sit down at the kitchen table again , sipping slowly on your coffee. 

They rip through the home, checking every room for any sign of Erik, leaving nothing in their paths unchecked. 

You slide the other cup towards T’Challa and he sits at the table with you before asking Shuri and Okoye to relax.

He takes a look at the cerulean coffee mug and then back at you while tapping his fingers on the table. 

“If I were going to kill you T’Challa, I would’ve done it already. You fell asleep in my arms for months. I could’ve done it then.  Or have you forgotten me already? Seems like you have been keeping tabs on me. You found me in two days.” you start the uneasy conversation off slowly.

You and T’Challa dated for some time when you met while working on a similar project in the area. E hadn’t told you everything at that point about Wakanda and what happened so you had virtually no idea who T’Challa was. Your relationship with Erik was on the rocks when he left for the army and he was already seeing someone else so you thought that it’d be alright to move forward with yours as well. 

After dating for a few months, you and T’Challa both decided that with your conflicting schedules and different life paths that it wouldn’t work out between the two of you and you both decided to end things on good terms. Looking back on it you thought the problem was distance and where you both stood in life, but now you’d say the world is a lot smaller than you thought. You never connected the dots until it was too late. Your heart still belonged to N’Jadaka but T’Challa still had a soft spot for you. He also knew more about you in that short time than a lot of people did. 

He chuckles softly and accepts the cup of coffee. He sips the warm drink slowly while eyeing you. The silent conversation spoke loudly as his eyes never left yours. 

“How’ve you been?” you ask him cautiously trying to see where the conversation is going to go.

“Uthando (love), I thought that you would’ve outgrown him by now. You know that he’s a prisoner of Wakanda and is a threat to society. Where is he, hmm?” T’Challa questions in that calming tone that he has always had. The honey-tongued, brown eyed devil could talk a starving bear into not attacking. 

“I love him, T. I couldn’t have ever outgrown him. I have loved him since we were children and I know he’s not a perfect man. He’s made some horrible choices. Ones that he could never take back. I can’t explain what happened. I don’t even have the words for it to try and explain it to myself. All I can say is that he’s home with me now and we’re trying to build something. He’s not trying to harm anyone.” you plead before leaning up and grabbing his hands in yours gently.

“That’s bullshit. He sure as hell wanted to harm the last time we met.” Shuri retorts from her position by the window. 

Okoye tenses up and steps forward while quickly looking from T’Challa to you and back to him. 

He nods at her before giving her a small smile and a quiet “it’s alright”. She reluctantly huffs and stands back with her arms crossed. 

“And would you have executed your father for the blood he has on his hands. Because his body count is sitting at 2. One for N’Jobu, his brother and one for N’Jadaka , his nephew. Your father was a murderer. His hands were not clean. ” your voice wavers as you try to get her to see things from your perspective.

Shuri let’s out a  loud scoff and then a defeated sigh as she stands near the kitchen window and tries to wrap her head around the words leaving your mouth.

“I didn’t mean to upset you. . . I apologize. I’m saying we can sit here and talk about good and bad. The innocent and the evil all night. But at the end of the day we all exist in the grey. We can all just hope that we leave this world better than we found it. T’Challa, Shuri, you can set it right. You can give him the life that he was robbed of. Could you imagine being a confused little boy trying to comfort your father as he took his last breaths? You were allowed to look at your father as a hero, a leader, and you were comforted by hot chocolate at night when you couldn’t sleep and the dreams of one day becoming The Great Black Panther. He had nothing.Wakanda failed him once. I’m asking that you please don’t fail him again. ” you explain while looking him in the eyes. 

“He had you… I know you and I know your heart. But I also know Killmonger-” he says before you cut him off.

“YOUR COUSIN. COUSIN. FAMILY. YOUR OWN BLOOD.” you raise your voice as you sit the baby pink mug down and back away from the table.

You take a moment to gather yourself as you turn away from the 3 Wakandans. 

“My father did what he had to do.” T’Challa says setting her gaze on you and then back to Okoye whose jaw is clenched so tightly you thought that she’d burst a vein. 

“And now so will you. Your father was a coward and his policies were bullshit. But you have the power to do something about it. Shuri, what would you do if it were T’Challa in those shoes. N’Jadaka isn’t perfect. I know that he has done some shameful things. But if you were in his shoes. What would you have done? Wakanda failed him and all I’m asking is for you to set it right. Let us live our lives in peace. You’ll never have to hear a single thing from us again. For fucks sake T. You know that I did what I had to do. When we first met. How did really  meet me? Frantic in a diner … After I had just emptied the clip into a father on behalf of a girl that showed up at my center’s doorstep looking like a piece of her soul had been stolen from her that night. We do not exist in the black or white. A lot of us are floating in the grey. I’m not asking you to play God and absolve him of his “sins”. I’m asking you to find some humanity.” You garner and wipe at the tears falling freely on your cheeks  and look to all 3 of the faces staring back at you. 

Okoye and the other 2 Doras look at you wide eyed before turning their heads to wipe a lone tear from their own eyes. 

You drop your arms as T’Challa steps closer and asks for permission to hug you. He embraces you for a moment before grabbing your hands and kissing them gently. 

“I will have to confirm this with the council. He reports back to Wakanda every 3 times a year to show the progress he has made. We want to know that he’s doing something with this … second life. . . And I will be expecting an invite to the wedding from you. You have my word." He promises and you nod before hugging him back fully and squeezing him gently. 

"But you ca-" Shuri says and T'Challa turns to her and shakes his head. 

He lets go of you to walk over and comfort Shuri .

"We can't carry the sins of our father. This has to end with us." He reasons and she nods. 

Okoye steps in and walks over to you to get her last message across. "If he does not abide by the promises and plans that you have made… Then, you know that I will not hesitate." She warns as she stands with you eye to eye. 

You bare your teeth and square your shoulders as you narrow your gaze. "For him, well, you know neither will I. You have a good day Miss Okoye." You end the conversation and turn to walk towards the door and usher them out. 

You lean up to kiss T'Challa's cheek before whispering to him to not be a stranger this time. You even offer to have him and Nakia over for dinner whenever the tension doesn't run so high. 

You quickly make it inside of your apartment and drop your shoulders before letting out a small sob. It was a wash of relief and a fleet of happy tears. N'Jadaka was finally able to start over and start over with you.  

"Holy shit-"

(tag list :  @doublesidedscoobysnacks @chaneajoyyy @mirandkimy​ @doitforthevine67 @dasia21 @depressionandfandomsinc @sinfully-dope @ambitionwood @heybriheyyy @wholelotta-melanin @theesotericqueen @mbakuwife @spookys-girl @teardropzih @bigchoose @ceo-of-baby @sweetpeachjones @lost-ssoull @love17us @beautifullmelodyxx​ @ghostfacekill-monger​ @shyblackgurl​ )

[deviantartdramanow]

Reddragondraws/leeny caught in 4k being a incel cuckstain

Mod note: if anyone wants to ban him from any discord servers, his user is pictured right below. but i must remind you all, NO WITCH HUNTING!!

Well well, lookie here; Red has his own lil callout; daw they grow up to be like their cunt pedo queen so fast. https://www.deviantart.com/lovesickdoll378/status-update/Look-guys-leeeny-is-treating-909359617 https://archive.ph/WawBm https://www.deviantart.com/lovesickdoll378/status-update/https-www-deviantart-com-lovesickdoll378-status-909357179 https://archive.ph/LJUuq (Gotta say, the discord picture is hilarious since it legit fits the title of this entry, legit caught being a pile of shit to others and us finding it as he has no way to explain himself LMFAO HI LEENY/REDDRAGONDRAWS! ENJOY YOUR SHAMING ON HERE!) Seems the asshole was treating others who had autism like shit, acting like HE was the only one allowed to wave the ‘i have autism so you cant tell me off for being a prick’ card. Also was misgendering too. Tut tut Red, not very nice of ya. Seems you are no different from that bitch Talltheirfy29, and you will be shamed and banned right alongside her. No wonder no one fucking likes you except groomers and creeps; since you are turning into one yourself. Also; your art is cringe bro, stop kissing Tall’s ass with fanart to her, it’s PATHETIC. Watch him bawl and cry that he was outted. Honey, when you bash on others with autism, misgender, and block evade; THE FUCK did you expect? People to pat you on the head for being a literal garbage pile? Do you see us BASHING on you when you claim to have it? No, we just keep telling you to stop fucking using it as crutch. I have a relative with it but he doesnt act like a giant asshole to others, nor does he go out of his way to slam on others with it since he knows how hard it is having autism. Yet you think it’s perfectly fine to be an asshole to others with autism? What the hell makes you special dear? NOTHING that’s what. you are a pile of fucking shit, shaming and bashing on others that also suffer with autism. What’s the matter, sad that they are a better human than you, that why you gotta be a literal cuck stain to them hmm? You are garbage buddy, you sicken me, you spoiled as fuck shit head. I hope you get shamed so badly you want to leave and never come back. The other blogs are having a good laugh at ya too, some even showed your dumbass 'my oc is an adult so it’s ok’ excuse around to some reddits and other blogs to show just how delusional you are. Face it kid, you lost, and the fact you protect your groomer just makes you look worse. She aint safe either, both of you are legit piss stains that are hard to scrub out…oh but dont worry; Mr Clean will come along and erase both of you very soon with more callouts and a sweet ban when you both FUCK UP again. :3 ~ Angel Dust

[blackvelvetwriteson]

Hi, could I get a one shot fem! black reader x Kakashi, please? (can be nsfw or fluff, it's your choice)

Hey there! Thank you for the request 🥺🥺 I had a bit of a roadblock with this one simply because I couldn’t think of a prompt, BUT I eventually thought ‘why not write about the holidays’ so I got into a groove with it! Once I got into it, it was a really fun write! I hope that this is what you expected and/or lives up to your expectations! 

𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐁𝐋𝐔𝐄𝐒

                                            (  ~ Kakashi Hatake x Black Female                                                                   Reader Insert ~ )

GENRE: Fluffy Fluff!                                                                  

FANDOM: Naruto Shippuden

TRIGGER WARNINGS: There really are none for today, it’s pretty fluffy for today!

SUMMARY: Reader-Chan wants to celebrate the holiday season this year because she never got to, but she doesn’t necessarily know how to approach Kakashi about it since he never celebrates the holidays (or ever even heard of them for that matter.

WORD COUNT: 4303

(Headers are mine, but the art inside of them are not! Please don’t steal or repost without credit!)

     For some reason, you were in an incredibly festive mood this time around. Maybe it was something about how the gilded sunlight made yours and Kakashi’s home feel more… Well, home-y. Maybe it was the remnants of your food that you’d made earlier for your lunch still lingering around the house, or the kids of the village running around outside of your windows, whether subliminally training or not undeterminable, reminding you of your youth. Time had gone by so fast, and already you’d been in Japan for about two years and a half. You already knew that, in general, the people of the area didn’t celebrate Halloween, and actually it was a week AFTER Halloween would’ve taken place in America, but something about today… Something about today made your festive bone quiver and you decided to do SOMETHING to celebrate. 

Since you’d picked up on the shinobi not celebrating American holidays like you were used to, you avoided asking Kakashi about it. Come to think of it, he never really did anything you were accustomed to besides the staring thing; and when you got together he tried to give you food related nicknames. You had to sit down and explain to him why it wasn’t okay and why it made you uncomfortable and then he thoroughly apologized and left it at that. He didn’t really have any nicknames for you, and from research you found that most women in Japan (and men) only go by their given names with -chan/san at the end which was cute, but if everyone had to call you that then it’d lose meaning and it wouldn’t be as cute.

Even still, though, you decided that today would be the day that you participated in the festivities of the holiday season that, in America, would be fast approaching. The only question for you was who you were going to dress up as and suddenly a thought formed in your head as you popped up from the couch and scurried to your guys’s room. You’d dress up as your hero, your boyfriend Hatake Kakashi! He wouldn’t expect it, you’d be able to see how everything fits, AND it’d be cute- at least you thought- and it’d give you something to do so that the crisp, perfect day didn’t go to waste.

You sifted through the closet with eager eyes as you hummed softly, some of your curls coming loose and falling down by your face, your dark brown beautiful eyes twinkling as you pulled out the parts to the outfit he wore from day to day, your eyebrows knitting a little as one corner of your lip lifted a little. “This man, so help me black Jesus,” you whisper softly noticing how much heftier your wardrobe was than his. He had the same outfit to go over about 5 or 5 times, black sweatpants, black shorts, and 3 different headbands all crushed, neatly, together on one side of the closet while your clothing took up the other half. You shook your head and closed the door with your hip once you were sure you had everything you needed for your little plan. You looked it over excitedly, your slender auburn fingers contrasting almost perfectly against the colors of his uniform. “Damn… I never noticed that till now,” you laugh softly as you remove your shirt and start to pull on articles of the outfit, trying to mimic exactly how you saw Kakashi wear his so you didn’t accidentally disrespect him. Of course he only had 2 masks and a shirt with a mask that you’d sewn onto it, and you decided not to mess with any of it. You didn’t want to hide your face at all whatsoever, especially behind masks that might’ve well have been your boyfriend’s comfort items. You had pretty much everything on, the worn out navy blue bringing everything together, the green brightening your pretty almost black eyes. You giggle softly as you look in the mirror and decide to do something with your hair before it dried completely- you’d taken a shower only 30 minutes prior and your hair was a little damp. You scurry off to the bathroom with the bandage and garter in one hand, your yellow hair pik in the other. You looked extremely excited, for once taking a moment to completely love and indulge in yourself. Being in an area where your existence was offensive to others to suddenly going to a place where absolutely nobody looked even close to you was an extreme shift, but Kakashi made it okay, literally brawling with anybody that so much as looked at you the wrong way. You had a small bit of tummy, but he loved that about you; and it’s not like it slowed you down any, made you unreliable, or made you any less attractive than you were. In fact, to some people it wasn’t even really noticeable unless you were wearing certain things. You also had to drop the American style and adopt the Japanese locale and honestly, while that was a HUGE shift, Kakashi helped with that too. Sometimes you’d get yourself in trouble with how you spoke though; that American lingo that’d been generationally passed down to you finding its way showing up and showing out, especially when someone wanted to make fun of your hair, or your physique and compare you to the other local girls, most noticeably Ten-Ten, Lady Tsunade, Sakura, and Hinata. They argued that the more pale girls were more attractive; because you could play in their hair and you wouldn’t have to worry about one slowing you down- at which remarks you stuck the shit talkers to a tree with your kunai for hours after you thoroughly cussed them out and ribbed them a little, telling Kakashi what’d happened so he could go cut them down. On the flip side, the kids absolutely adored you and loved when you were out so they could play tag or ask you unnecessary questions or get some treats from you.

You quick-washed your hair in the sink and started to blow-dry it deciding that you’d give yourself an at home blowout so that you could complete the look. Being the multitasker you were born into being, you found something to prop the blowdryer up while you piked your hair out quickly, smiling as you watched your hair fluff up, watching your coils straighten and then get bigger until it couldn’t anymore. Then it hit you; Kakashi hadn’t seen your hair blown out except once and that was while you were braiding it back and his eyes were fixated on your fingers as he wondered how a person could do that. At this point, your hair was halfway done, and while you let the tool dry your hair even more, you attempted to wrap the bandage around your thigh and it only BARELY made it, your thigh utterly choked in the process. You looked down at your leg and then pensively looked at the garter and decided that wouldn’t fit around your leg and you let out a frustrated sigh. “That man, is fine as fuck, but why he built like a bean pole,” you huff quietly as you let the bandage loose from trapping your thigh before your mind wandered to him. “…. Aight so maybe he got a LITTLE bit of muscle, but we aint talkin’ about that right now,” you laugh softly before looking at your phone seeing that he sent you a text signifying that he was on his way back from training for the day and that he was fine. You smiled cheerily at your text and tilted your head some at yourself, using your pik to fluff your hair out more before you scurried back to your guys’s room and snatched one of his spare headbands up, securing it quickly and tactfully. You looked at yourself in the mirror, your hands coming up and sliding into the arm holes of his navy green vest. You turned to one side, then to the next, then finally you looked at yourself from a front profile and your eyes glistened a little. “You’re… so heroic,” you mumbled under your breath before you heard some clatter coming from outside of the room.

“Oh right… You can do that,” you say as you open the door and watch him freeze completely in his spot, his eyes slowly raking over you from head to toe then back up again, his stoic expression unchanging from what you could tell. “H-Heyy… Honey,” you smile nervously as you wave with one of your gloved hands. He walked towards you and slipped one side of the headband over one of your eyes and then he stifled a soft grunt under his breath.

“It’s Kakashi. We’ve talked about this,” he said softly before he looked over his shoulders, his hands sliding in his pockets again as his back straightened out some. “….Why are you wearing my clothes,” he asked with a slight edge to his voice, meanwhile you were still frozen in place, your legs starting to quiver some. You didn’t know why he was being so cold to you and it made you just a little insecure. “Particularly… Those,” he said as he stared at the wall below the TV you both had, his legs crossed as he leaned back into the couch.

“Damn so you not gonna say ‘hi.’ Or ‘I missed you,’ or nothin’ like that hm? Well… My bad, I guess I’ll just go take it off,” you say softly, the spirit of the day becoming crushed. He mused softly and his head only tilted a small bit. He didn’t even look at you and you noticed this. The whole time you were here… The whole time you were together the only thing you wanted was his eyes on you and his praises. You were struggling and it was on you for the most part because you hadn’t reached out to him for help. He was a real big one for “say what you mean or need,” or something like that. You LOVED the idea behind the last stretch of the year; the days designated for giving thanks, hanging out with the ones you love, amazing food, and gifts, and movies, and music. All of it… But having come from where you had, you never really had good times or a good chance to make memories. Now that you were old enough to have someone of your own and actually be able to create memories, you wanted to… But instead you’d been trying to force it out of your life to make your man happy, however you weren’t having it anymore. You just didn’t know how to bring it up.

“Mm.. What’s-“

Before he could even finish speaking, you’d vanished back into your guys’s room and shut the door behind you. He sat back in the seat and he let out a low drawn out breath and then stood up. Within one second he vanished from the living room and appeared right in front of you with his arms crossed.

“I asked why you were wearing my clothes, not that you had to take them off,” he said as he looked blandly at your hurt expression. “And I was trying to ask what was up with you,” he said as he reached one hand out and gently tipped your head up, his free hand reaching for where your bangs covered your eye but then he stopped as he usually did and he tilted his head some. “May I?” He spoke from behind his mask. You push his hand out of the way and move your hair out of your face by yourself, your sharp eyes peering into his. This time his eyebrows rose a bit more noticeably and usual and he waited for you to talk so he could listen, his hands now in his pockets.

“Yknow… I’ve tried to work what is normal to me out of my system… And when I was younger, that would’ve been… Easier. But now, it’s not… Kakashi, when you don’t look at me it makes me feel undesirable… Because nobody else looks at me unless they’re making fun of how flat and wide my features are… or how damn burnt I look even though this is my natural skin tone! I just… Want you to call me your baby once in awhile damnit! I want to call you *mine* and not just… Ka-ka-shi. Everybody calls you that… And… I get jealous when I see the other people hanging out with you, the cooler people with the sharingan variants, or the cool eyes and the people with the slim builds, or the people with the advanced shinobi skills that are greater than mi-“ You hadn’t noticed that while you were talking, Kakashi pulled his mask down, then you were interrupted with a kiss. It was a soft, but soulful kiss; the kind where one of his gloved hands had you by the chin and the other by the back of your head. The kind where you could feel his body heat completely wrapping you up. The kind where you felt his trembling breath break his completely calm composure. Your hands were gently pressed against the back of his arms, one of your hands at his elbow as he pulled away and allowed his eyes to slowly open. His shadow was cast down onto you and you saw his eyes squint a little, his smile hidden by the mask he’d pulled back up after the kiss. On the other hand, your eyes were wide and your lips were barely parted, your eyes glistening as you looked over his mostly hidden smile. Your knees buckled under you and he helped make sure you didn’t fall, his chest pressed against yours.

“You done?” He asked as he helped you stand upright again. You were dazed just staring at your man and he smirked a little as he pulled his mask down again still standing close to you. “I see… You want everyone to know that you’re mine and vice versa? That’s it? That’s why you’re wearing my clothes today…? You want me to… Call you mine? Right?” He spoke quietly, he was ONLY talking to you, his deep voice getting a little more hoarse as he continued to drone on, his hands on your hips pulling you closer to him, his intense gaze still cast into your eyes. You swallow hard and nibble the inside of your cheek. “You want you to call you my baby? My beautiful, perfect baby girl? Hm? Is that why you’re acting out? Or… You want me to show you that I care more, right? Maybe… You want me to make dinner once? Or bring you flowers? Or watch you train? Or… Cheer you on? Right? Perhaps tease you a little… Or hold you this close all the time?”

You nod slowly and then look away already knowing what this was sort of leading up to but his slender fingers forced your gaze back on him.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you, baby,” he said softly as he tilted his head a little. “If you wanted that… Why didn’t you just say so? I can’t read minds… And I’m still relatively new to this whole… Romance scene,” he said softly as he gently stroked your cheek with his thumb. “You know this. I’m a little… Dense? I’m not sure if that’s the proper word. But…. You’re just… Ugh… I didn’t know that me hanging around people made you jealous- perhaps it’s in my best interest to just tell you how much you mean to me all of the time. You’d want that too, right? I know you would,” he said softly as his fingers gently trailed up your back. “Or… Maybe you want to have a little bit more sex? Is that apart of it?” The question made your eyes wide, skin burn with an invisible blush, and your jaw drop a little. He let out a hollow laugh in turn, gently pushing your jaw up to close your mouth with the tips of his fingers. “Baby steps. I got it. For now, let me just say this: You’re beautiful… All of your scars, curves, marks and all. Those coffee colored eyes of yours are so much more… Stupefying than any sharingan I have seen and will ever see…. The little spark they get when you’re determined, or that soft glisten when you get embarrassed,” he said as he looked over your whole face. “Your body… Your whole body… Is amazing… You don’t have to be slim to be an amazing shinobi; and so help me, my beautiful queen,” he says softly as he leans down so he’s eye level with you. “If you ever discredit yourself like that again, I’ll work you out so that you’re not able to move for the next week. You’re right on the fast track to be a fine shinobi- possibly even the greatest at that. Well… Not greater than me, but that’s another story and another conversation,” he said quietly as you were pushed back onto your bed while he stood over you. “Are those idiots getting into your head again?” His eyebrows furrowed a little as his hands slipped back into his pockets.

Finally you were able to find your words again and you crossed your legs out of habit. “Y-Yeah… For… Like… The past 3 weeks they’ve been telling me that I’m too slow… Or I’m too… Wide… Or making fun of me and my eyes, or making fun of how dark I am… Or making fun of my hair! My damn hair! It hurts… A lot… And we’re together, but I don’t want to be known as that abnormal girl that calls on her boyfriend every time she needs saving. I got it… Aight? I can handle that… But… That’s why I need YOUR praises…. To validate me I guess… I already know I’m THAT… girl… But I want to hear it from you… I want you,” you mumbled softly. “And the reason I’m dressed up like this is because I’m dressed up for Halloween- In America it’s a day where people dress up and do their makeup and hair and have fun at parties or go trick or treating to get candy and stuff! I’ve always loved it despite not being able to… Participate much,” you say softly as you rub your arm. “I dunno, I guess I just wanted to celebrate the holiday season this year- even if we never do it again, I at least want one memory of a great holiday season with mine… With you,” you say softly. He listens to everything you say with an opaque grin on his face.

“If that’s what you wanted, then why didn’t you just say that?” He said softly as he climbed over you, his hips barely resting in your lap as your heart skipped a beat. He pushed you to lay down on the bed and his hands rested right by your head, your eyes peering up at him with a soft grin rested on your face.

“I-I d-didn’t w-want to get told no… I d-didn’t want to… Bother you with something that seemed so insignificant… I didn’t want you to think of me as weak,” you say softly as he gently kisses your neck. You shuddered a little and bit your lip as you tilt your head up some.

“Well now’s your hot seat,” he huffed quietly against your neck. “Tell me what you want, tell me everything you want, and I’ll do it until you tell me that you don’t want it anymore,” he said as he looked back into your eyes, your hands rested against his chest as you thought for a moment before speaking again. “W-Well… I want you to call me your baby and vice versa… Or come up with a nickname or something… I want you to watch me train and root for me, I want you to let everyone know who I belong to, but allow me to show who you belong to, too… I want you to tease me and hold me close… Everywhere… I want you to go on dates with me and do holiday stuff with me… I want you to make me feel wanted and loved… I just fucking want *you* Kakashi…” you say softly as you look up at him. Upon gazing, you notice that his expression had soften significantly, and the hold he had on you was more protective than ever. “A-And I guess more s-sex would be cool,” you say softly and he chuckles quietly in return. You reach one of your hands up and gently cup his face, your thumb gently caressing his cheek. “You know… You should smile more… You’re quite handsome when you do… Well I mean you’re fine as hell either way, but I like it when you smile… And laugh like that…” you say softly as he leans his head into your hand a little more. He kisses your clothed palm and smiles just for you and suddenly you took on a breathless expression, your eyes halfway open as he blushed a little and you just took this moment to adore him, everything about him. “That’s what you want from me? Okay,” he said softly before moving to pin your hand weakly to the bed above you, his eyes both gazing into yours- well as much as he could anyway seeing as your hair practically swallowed your face leaving your bottom half of your face exposed for him. You could see him just fine, he just couldn’t see you… And for the moment that was fine. His gentle lips pressed against yours from above and your eyes fluttered shut as usual when this happened. You felt a little touch starved because he didn’t like contact very much, but he was warming up to it a little more. You wrapped one of your arms around his waist and pulled him closer, and then the two of you melted into each other on the bed in a fit of grunts, deep, passionate, soft kisses, dulcet giggles coming from the both of you, his hand wandering up your waist up the natural curve of your body as yours tried to find where his clothing allowed you access to his skin. You found it, your warm fingers contrasting against his lukewarm skin. He jolted a little and let out a groan before looking at you again, nibbling your lip gently before he pulled away. “You’re amazing,” he whispered quietly and breathlessly against your lips as you tried to control your breathing again.

“Says one of the most notable and historic ninja warriors of all time,” you say with a soft chuckle, moving your hair out of your face so you could look at him and so he could look at you.

“You know… Paths like that carry plenty of… Skeletons in the closet, right?” He said softly as his gaze intensified only a little bit.

“Yeah, and? You still made it… Everyone looks up to you… You’ve killed people and seen plenty of your own killed… And people that couldn’t handle it… Y’know… But, Kakashi Hatake,” you say softly as you turn his head back towards you and your own expression hardens a little. “No matter what, I’ll still love you like the day that I met you… Just like that day you first came to protect.. Well the other person- after they were bullying me… After you checked to make sure I was okay… Baby I love you, and as long as you love me too, I’m gonna be on your side. I’m your woman- I’m your queen, right? A queen needs her partner in royalty, and this house is our kingdom. You’re my king, and unapologetically mine… And I’m the same for you,” you say quietly as you sit up and smile a little. “I know you haven’t been sleeping, Kashi,” you say softly as you gently kiss his lips. “I’m not a super heavy sleeper… You’re safe now, though,” you say softly as you run your fingers through his hair. “Let me go make dinner tonight and… C-Can I decorate?” You whispered softly, expecting a no as you turned and gently pushed him to make him lay on the bed and he chuckled softly, gently grabbing your hand.

“If decorations are what you want, then I don’t have a problem with it,” he said softly, kissing the back of your hand gently. Your skin burned with an invisible flush and you pulled the covers up on him, trying to make the room just a little more homey so that he could sleep better.

“I… Wow… Um… Okay,” you say softly, lighting a candle and setting it on the nightstand, standing in the doorway. “I d-don’t know if I said this already, but I’m gonna make a hot pot for dinner… And I’ll go see if there are any pumpkins in the area… I’ll make us some pumpkin bread and make some cookies for the kids,” you say with a beaming smile, looking at your sleepy man who was already cuddling a pillow on his way to sleep. He admired your soothing voice, able to relax for the first time in a long time, and how the golden sun gave you a gilded glow that made your skin twinkle and your eyes illuminate the room. He had never felt so lucky to have someone as good as you to him, and that was the last thing he saw- or thought- before he slipped off into dreamland and you disappeared behind the door to excitedly start dinner.

[thiswasinevitableid]

for monster march, ghost + indruck + nsfw?

Here you go! I borrowed some ideas we’ve tossed around on the Discord

A sketchbook, new pens, a Hershey bar, and a bag of jumbo marshmallows. A small but lively fire. And a new, huge, fuzzy sleeping bag waiting for him in the tent. 

Not a bad camping set up for a city-boy art goth (as Barclay likes to call him).

Indrid sticks another marshmallow on the fork, roasting it until it’s deep brown, the smell of burning sugar curling through the air and settling in his hair. He’s never liked Graham Crackers, so he jams a square of chocolate into the molten center of the marshmallow and shoves the entire thing into his mouth. 

Kepler is small. Barclay hadn’t been kidding about that. He’d also been right that one of the two tattoo shops in town was willing to hire Indrid after looking through photos of his work and confirming he completed his apprenticeship. 

He’s been living in the Eastwoods campground in the Monongahela National Forest while he apartment hunts, and the tattoos he’s done so far netted him enough cash to buy his luxurious new sleeping bag. He might be waiting on a place for some time, so he may as well camp in style. 

Three “s’mores” later, the moon is up and the night is chilly enough that he wants his sweatshirt. Ducking into the tent, he can’t find it on his pillow, where he swears he left it this morning. Maybe he accidentally buried it getting dressed.

A splashhiss interrupts his rummaging. Scrambling from the tent, he discovers his fire is now a pile of soaked ashes and logs being angrily stirred by a thick piece of kindling. 

“Excuse me, but what the fuck?”

A man in a ranger uniform appears, the stick falling through his hand as he gives Indrid a disapproving stare. 

“Look here, I know you’re new here, maybe to campin entirely. But you can’t just leave a fire burnin when you go to bed.” He doesn’t sound mad, more like he’s a disappointed big brother scolding his sibling. 

“I wasn’t-”

“And all this” he gestures to the food on the table, “has gotta go in the bear box. Black bears are real good foragers and we don’t want ‘em comin’ into camp and gettin to comfy around humans.”

“Of course, but-”

“You didn’t take any food into the tent, right? Wouldn’t want somethin to decide to join you ‘cause it smelled a snack.”

Indrid pinches the bridge of his nose, “I am aware of all of these rules, and plan to follow them. Once I actually go to bed instead of ducking into the tent for my sweater. But since my evening appears to be over…” he grabs the marshmallows, roasting fork, and chocolate, carries them to the bear box, and slams it closed. 

When he whirls back around, the ghost is still there, chagrined. 

“Uh, sorry. I kinda jumpy about people leavin fires alone.” In the lantern light, his smile is as charming as his drawl. His stocky, bearish shape and unassumingly handsome face command Indrid’s focus, which is why his revelation comes so quickly. 

“You...there’s a statue of you at the visitor center. Which makes you, ah, damn it what was the name-”

“Duck. Duck Newton. They put my legal name on there, even though Juno tried to stop ‘em. But my name’s Duck.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Duck. I’m Indrid.”

“Nice to meet you too. Uh, sorry for ruinin your campfire, looks like you were havin a nice time.”

“It’s alright. I suppose I’m grateful there’s someone haunting the campsites to keep them in order.”

“You’re takin me bein’ a ghost surprisingly well.”

“I’ve always been interested in strange things, to the point that I earned the nickname ‘mothman’ in high school.”

“Huh” Duck watches him a moment, then shrugs, “well, guess I better be goin’. Have a nice night, mothman.”

With that, he’s gone.

------------------------------------------------------

“Hello again.” Indrid says as the campfire smoke curls around a human form, “Doing your rounds?”

“More or less. I like my job, and ain’t about to give it up just because I beefed it and turned into a ghost.” A creak as Duck joins him on the picnic bench. When he materializes, he floats slightly above the worn wood, watching Indrid draw. 

“That’s incredible, it’s so realistic it’s like you pressed the leaves into the pages instead of colored them.”

“Thank you.” adds depth to the leaf, “you know, I looked at the statue again today. It hardly does you justice.”

From this close, he can see a blush spread up semi-opaque cheeks. Then he starts fading.

“Oh, ah, I’m sorry. I was aiming for a benign compliment, not to make you uncomfortable.”

“S’alright, just surprised me. Not many folks wanna flirt with a dead guy.”

“I’m more interested in what the ‘dead guy’ wants.” Indrid smiles, hoping to convey he would submit to spectral touches as readily as he’d keep talking. 

Duck floats closer, “Kinda curious about your other drawin’s.”

Indrid turns the sketchbook back to the beginning, “they’re half portfolio and half travelogue. Here” he holds up a fade, detached piece of paper,  covered by an Morpho Butterfly that looks ready to fly away, “this is the first tattoo I ever designed.”

“Damn. Guessin’ that means you did this one” he touches the Rosy Maple Moth on Indrid’s forearm (or tries to). It’s chilly, but not in the way Indrid feared. More like taking a cool shower on a sweltering day.

“I did. Here, it gave me an idea for my first series of flash tattoos…”

They go over the illustrations page by page. Slowly, Indrid weaves in questions to Duck who, instead of recoiling from discussion of his mortal life, tells him rambling stories about the woods and which places serve the best food in town. 

The conversation doesn’t end until the fire goes out on it’s own, Duck standing automatically, grabbing a water bottle, swearing, and then disappearing so he can pick the bottle up. 

“Do you think that’s part of why you’re still here? Some unfinished business having to do with the woods?”

“Nah.” The water bottle thunks back on the table as Duck reappears, “I tried to live a normal life, improve the world the way I knew how, make some kind of difference to this town. Then I had to go play the goddamn hero.”

“I would say saving two dozen people from a forest fire makes a considerable difference in the world.”

A sad huff of a laugh, “Yeah, guess you’re right. Just...I meant to do somethin’ with my life, not my death, even if it was a small somethin’, and the closest thing I got to unfinished business is a model ship.”

“I...what?”

“It was four-masted and everything! I had Leo order it in special and everything and then I never, I never got to-”  He tilts his head up, sniffs once, “never mind. I better let you get to sleep.”

By the time Indrid calls “goodnight,” the ghost is gone. 

------------------------------------------

“Please tell me you’re gettin a place soon so you stop eatin everythin outta a can?” Leo bags the last of groceries.

“No such luck. Ah well, there are worse things than canned soup and Pop-Tarts.”

“At least let Barclay feed you, half the point of havin a friend who can cook is to let ‘em do it for you. You need stamps or anything?”

“N-” A box behind the counter catches his eye. It’s at an odd angle, as if whoever put it there is hoping no one will see it. Indrid can just make out an illustration of a four-masted ship.

“Is that for sale?”

Leo looks where he’s pointing, and for a moment something in his gruff affability wavers. Then he nods, “Yeah, suppose it is.”

“Can you ring it up for me?” Indrid nearly bounces on his toes when Leo sets the box on the counter and confirms his hunch. 

The older man sets a gentle hand on the cardboard, sliding it across to Indrid, “Don’t worry about that, kid. It’s yours.”

----------------------------------------------

“Duck?” Indrid turns in a circle by the picnic table, “Duck, I have something for you!”

He saw the ranger briefly last night, but he didn’t hang around. Gingerly, he sets the box on the table, tearing off a piece of sketch paper to write a note in case the ghost stops by while he’s asleep. 

“Holy fuck.” Duck floats across the table from him, “‘Drid, where did, how did--why?”

“Leo still had it. As for why I, ah, it seemed like you still wanted it. If you can douse a fire and over my camp stove, I figure you can build a model ship.”

Duck disappears and Indrid’s heart sinks; that must have been too much. Then he’s squished in an invisible, wonderful bear hug.

“Thanks, ‘Drid.”

From then on, Duck spends every night at his campsite, building the ship while Indrid draws, reads, or talks with him. The model lives in the safest corner of the tent during the day.

“I mean, I’m up durin the day too, but I scared a few folks on accident and I don’t want people avoid the forest because of me.”

Indrid also learns that Duck is stuck within a certain radius of where he died, and that his attempts to talk with Juno when she was in his part of the woods only lead to his friend thinking she was hallucinating and Duck feeling miserable for three solid days. Indrid offers to act as messenger and invite Duck’s friends (many of whom have, by chance and by proximity to Barclay, become his friends) to the campsite to see him. The ranger is quiet for some time after that offer.

“Not yet. Maybe someday, but not yet. I, it ain’t even been a year, ‘Drid. I think a lot of ‘em are still hurtin. And, and maybe this is selfish but...I ain’t ready to deal with them findin’ out I aint fully gone. It’d be so much all at once.”

Indrid doesn’t bring it up again. More than once, when Aubrey tells a story about Duck only for her eyes to sadden halfway through, or when he sees Juno looking at Duck’s statue a little too long, he struggles to keep his promise. 

A cold front blows into town and, since he’s still in the tent, he pops into Kepler Thrift N Find in search of an extra sweatshirt. Tucked in between one reading “Ranchos” and one with a picture of Garfield is a soft, well-loved hoodie with “Monongahela National Forest” on the front. He buys it and wears it home, the fact it’s loose in the arms making it even easier to tuck in his hands when he gets cold. 

He stops by the visitor center out of habit, checking out the new plush wild animals. There are also hints of Duck here and there; his name on displays, his face in group photos. As he contemplates a small, squishy black bear, he notices Juno looking at him more than usual.

“Hello again” he sets the bear on the counter.

“Howdy. This all?

“Yes, please. Are you alright? You look, ah, tired.”

“Yep. Or, uh, just noticed that sweatshirt. It was one that got made special for staff a few years ago.”

Indrid fidgets with the cat-bitten drawstring, “It was Duck’s, wasn’t it?”

“Uh huh. He put that patch on the sleeve. Guess it startled me to see it on someone else.”

“I understand.” 

“Knew him since we were kids. Hell, he’s my daughter’s godfather. Still don’t feel right, bein’ here without him.”

Indrid pushes the bear towards her and she pets it.

“What was he like?”

In the empty visitor center, Juno tells him. In her stories are echos of every conversation he’s ever had with anyone who knew Duck. When it’s time to close up, she asks if she can hug him, and thanks him for listening to her. 

“Guess you weren’t kiddin about wanting to sleep with a bear” Duck teases as Indrid sets his new purchase inside the tent. Indrid whaps at him, arm going through his torso. The ranger floats nearby as Indrid heats up ravioli and opens a can of Mountain Dew. Indrid tells him about the conversation with Juno. 

“Huh, guess that is my old one. Glad someone is gettin some use outta it. And it looks good on you.”

Indrid sets down his bowl, “We talked a lot, Duck. And it made me think about what you said to me one of the night after we met. You said you wanted a chance to make the world, the town, a little better. Everyone I’ve talked to, and I mean every one, has a story about you. How you helped them, how Kepler is worse off with you gone. You did so much, even with your time cut short. I, I wanted you to know that.”

The ghost looks away, “I wasn’t done tryin to help.”

“You still aren’t. You do what you can to keep the forest and the visitors safe. And you, you’ve made my life immeasurably better Duck. Seeing you is the best part of my day and I think I’m falling--ah, that is, you’re not done making a difference.”

Duck hasn’t moved since Indrid started talking about his feelings. When Indrid tries to meet his eyes, he disappears. Hurried, he reaches out to offer a reassuring touch and gets only air. 

“Duck?”

Nothing, even after he calls his name three more times.

He slumps onto the bench, “well, fuck me I guess.”

---------------------------------------------------

This is a terrible idea. But it’s his last, and therefore his best. 

Indrid even asked Barclay’s boyfriend, Joseph, if anything in his impressive library of the paranormal advised the reader on dealing with upset ghosts. A few did, always from the perspective of trying to get the specter to go away. They said nothing about what to do if your upset ghost was missing, leaving an ache in your heart you didn’t know you were capable of feeling. 

Instead, after a week of silence, Indrid changes tactics: if he can’t coax Duck back, maybe he can annoy him into appearing. 

Tonight, he finishes dinner and cleans his dishes, puts the bulk of the food in the bear box, and then tears open a bag of chips, scattering them across the table. He eats one, then leaves the open bag laying amongst the potato shards. 

Next, he dumps his remaining water on the fire, which takes it down to embers but does not extinguish it. When none of that gets a reaction, he decides to narrate.

“Hmm, that should be fine, it’s not that dry and I don’t think sparks can go over the edge.”

“Should I leave these juice pouches out? Yes, I think I should, in case I get thirsty at night. Maybe I’ll take one into the tent, just to be safe.”

He already feels silly and like no one is listening, and so he escalates. 

“I know I shouldn’t leave food out for the wildlife, but since there’s no handsome, ghostly ranger here to punish me for my transgressions, I am just going to leave some nuts out for the raccoons. I like raccoons. They deserve nice things. Hell, how about I just leave them a whole buffet since no one is stopping me!”

All he gets in reply are the few bugs awake this early in the spring and the crack of brush as a small mammal runs away from the weird bipedal thing yelling at his camp fire. He doesn’t leave out food for the raccoons; he climbs into his tent in a huff. What a bad idea, to think this of all things would bring Duck back to him. He’s being childish and bratty and selfish; Duck doesn’t deserve that, no more than he owes Indrid his company. 

He changes into his pajamas pants and sleep shirt, intending to go back out to make the site safe and tidy. Except.

Except something just opened the bear box. The chip bag crinkles and the fire hisses out a minute later. He should be running outside to apologize, but his mind has simultaneously  registered the full darkness of the night , the possibility that Duck is not the only paranormal thing in these woods, and the fact the nearest other campers are on the other side of the campground, meaning he is very, very alone.

The zipper on the tent moves, the flap falling open so his lantern shines on nothing but April air.

“Duck? Please say that’s you.”

A low chuckle, “It’s me, ‘Drid.” The fly zips shut, “mighty peeved about that trick you pulled.”

“I’m, I’m sorry. I missed you, but that was a bad way to communicate that.” He can’t see him, and the lantern only picks up the odd shift of sleeping bag or tent floor, so Indrid’s eyes’ dart about trying to pinpoint him.

“Oh, you communicated plenty, sugar. Like what you want a certain, uh, ghostly ranger to do to you.”

“Oh god” he winces, “please, forget I said that, it’s humiliating.”

“Not all that surprisin, truth be told. I mean, you and I flirted now and then. And you told me enough about yourself for me to suspect that you’re a kinky little weirdo who’s dyin to get fucked by a ghost.” 

“I, I feel I should point out that I only want to fuck one ghost. You. I want to fuck you and that means fucking a ghoOOOst.” He gasps as cold lips press into his neck.

“I can make that happen, darlin, all you gotta do is say it. You were a pain in the neck earlier, so now I expect you to be real polite and use your words.” Duck’s voice has never been like this before, rough and possessive yet still, under all of it, the same warmth draws Indrid in like a flame. 

“I want you, Duck.”

A bite to his ear, strong arms wrapping around his waist from behind him, “Want me to do what?”

“Fuck me” this is like every wet dream he had as a teenager, the supernatural being coming for a fellow outsider. 

That gets him a tender kiss on the cheek, “That’s better. Though, if I’m rememberin correctly, word you used was punish.”

Indrid yelps as Duck turns and shoves him to lay across his lap, kicks his legs out in surprise when his waistband slides down to his upper thighs. 

“Yesss” he wiggles his ass as Duck palms it, “yes, Duck, pleaseAHgod” the first strike stings, and Duck doesn’t let him recover before delivering five more, three to each side. His cock perks up at the pain. Stranger still, because Duck is invisible, all Indrid has to do is tilt his head to watch it harden and twitch with each slap.

Twenty strikes later Duck pauses, hand rubbing soothing, cool circles on the burning skin, “Learned your lesson?”

“Mmhmm.” Indrid presses an awkward kiss to Duck’s knee. 

“Glad to hear it.” Duck hauls him up onto his knees, slides a hand under his shirt and up his chest, “I’m rarin’ to feel more of you--holy fuck” 

“AH!” Indrid arches as Duck toys with his left nipple piercing, his other hand quickly finding the right. 

“God, fuck, you’re fuckin hot, if I were alive I woulda taken you home first time I saw you.” Messy kisses cover his neck as Duck tugs the piercings.

“Gaahnnyes, that’s, that’s very flattering.”

“Ain’t flattery, sugar, it’s the truth. Never could turn down some skinny punk with piercin’s and messy hair, not when I was a teen burnout hidin in the woods and sure as hell not now.” He moves Indrid onto his back, rucking up his shirt as his legs twist in his half-down pants. The ranger cups his face, and Indrid is positive he’s meeting his eyes, “tell me what you want sugar, tell me so I can treat you right.”

“Marks, I want marks anywhere you’ll give them.”

A growl from above him, then lips smashing into his, drinking him in before continuing down his throat, biting and sucking hard enough that he cries out every time. Duck pauses, teasing his nipples with his tongue as he rakes his nails up his sides. He sits up and for a horrible moment Indrid loses him. Then with glee he watches five red marks drag down his chest. He moans, rolling his hips and discovering just how closer Duck’s clothed cock is to his own. The contact only feeds the rangers eagerness, and Indrid is tosses and turns as he sucks, bites, and scratches, laying claim to the illustrated expanse of his body. 

“More, please, god that all feels so good.” 

“Don’t worry darlin, still got plenty of you to mark up, but we’re gonna do somethin else while I do.” He eases Indrid onto his stomach, slaps his ass fondly, “don’t go nowhere.”

Indrid’s duffel bag unzips, clothes and pens moved aside until a bottle of lube hovers in the air. The tube compresses and drips coat the rough outline of fingers. When the two digits press into him he sighs, eyes closing as he melts under Ducks watchful eyes. 

“That’s it ‘Drid, relax for me. Got well over a year of horny to work out, so this cute ass needs to be ready to take it.”

Indrid pushes his hips back in reply, taking as far as the fingers will go and whimpering excitedly when he presses in the tip of the third. Duck works that one more carefully, kissing Indrid’s face and shoulders as he whispers about how good he is, how much he’s wanted this.

“I want it too so for, for goodness sake please fuck me soon or I’ll leave my entire cooler out for the bears.”

“Only one bear in this campsite tonight darlin.” Duck laves his tongue down the base of his spine, bites down hard on his ass. Indrid’s still moaning from the pain when his cock pushes in.

“Fuuuckme that’s good. Shoulda snuck into your tent sooner, sugar, made you a fuckin cocksleeve you feel so fuckin good.”

“Ohgod” is all Indrid, voice muffled by the sleeping bag he’s biting, manages before Duck adjusts them so Indrid is on his knees. The ranger isn’t gentle, pounds into him like he’s nothing but a warm hole and chuckles whenever Indrid moans. 

“H-handprints, Duck, want hand prints GAHyesyesyes” he struggles to move in time with the ghost as the air fills with ear-splitting slaps. He’s so close, the pain and the sensation of phantom fingers claiming his body making his body beg for release. When he slides a hand down to jerk himself off, the arm twists up and stays trapped against his back. 

“You wanna cum, you know what to do.”

He blinks away the ecstatic tears, words raw in his throat, “Please let me cum, Duck. I want to, need to cum while you fuck me pleaseplease-” he cuts off into whine as the ghost works his cock hard, all the while jamming into him hard enough that the smooth fabric of the sleeping bag burns his knees. When he cums it’s with a weak cry of Duck’s name, which is swallowed up by hungry lips as Duck kisses him over and over, repeating Indrid’s name like an incantation as he pumps his hips and cums, pulling out as he does so it splatters on the reddened patches of his ass. 

A final kiss to the top of his head, and then there’s no contact between them and the zipper is moving.

“Oh no you don’t” Indrid scrambles, sweaty and exhausted, between the tent fly and the invisible man somewhere in front of him, “for goodness sake, Duck, I thought you liked me enough to at least let me fall asleep before you ran.”

The ranger finally appears, hair a mess and cheeks noticeably pink, “‘Drid, all that was amazing, but it’s all I can give you. I, I can’t...you said you were fallin for me and I can’t give you that.”

Indrid cocks his head, “Why not?”

“Because I’m a fuckin ghost, ‘Drid! You deserve to be with a livin’ fella, you deserve someone who can be a real part of your life.”

He crosses his arms, “Duck, you are a real part of my life. Honestly, what part of all the nights we spent together, all the ways we take care of each other, all of this” he points at the rumpled sleeping bag, “suggests otherwise?”

The ghost doesn’t speak, simply hugs himself (or tries to).

“If this is too much, if I’m offering something you do not want, then please tell me. But if this is you thinking that some paranormal quirks keep you from being a worthy partner for me, kindly think again.”

Duck disappears and Indrid is gearing up to try and tackle a supernatural entity when a familiar face buries itself in the crook of his neck. The ghost clings to him, and Indrid clings right back. 

“You really wanna give it a go?”

“More than anything.”

Duck lifts his head so their cheeks rest together, “Then fuck it. Let’s see what happens.”

----------------------------------------

Indrid finishes hooking up his lightly used Winnebago, AKA his solution to the lack of available apartments. He’s in a different section of Eastwoods, but he’s happy with his new spot. He opens one of his few boxes, gently lifts the completed model ship into a place of honor, and waits, humming happily, for an unseen hand to knock on his door. 

[stinkfacestories]

Bull’s Eye

"Vaaashended.." Iron bull cursed. He and the Inquisitor found themselves at a dead end. The room was filled with large steel trimmed boxes. There was no escape.

"We fight then" The Inquisitor drew his sword.

"Not this one, boss. I'm not one to turn away from a fight but we have no exit. The whole base will flood this room if they catch us." Bull said. He was feeling the wall for hidden doors. Sometimes these bandits were smarter than they looked. He tapped one of the crates. Then another. He found a hollow one. 

"Get in boss, we can hide till midnight then when there all asleep we can escape" Bull lifted the heavy hinged lid.

"You first" you said.

"Nah, if they find us I wanna be between you and the sharp edge of a weapon"

Bull lifted you up and set you in. He crawled in after. It was a tight fit for just a single human, let alone a qunari of bull’s swole size. The hatch was heavy though and when it closed it latched. A few moments of squirming and you were as comfortable as you were going to get.

The crate was well sealed, but not airtight. The body heat between you made you and Bull break out in a sweat.

"Boss? You good?"Bull asked.

"Good as I can be at the moment"

"That's your face I feel isn't it boss"

You paused. In the wriggling and wiggling to get the lid closed and be in a comfortable position Bull had squat squarely on your face.

"It is" you replied

You couldn't see but you bet Bull was smiling.

"Shit boss, I wasn't trying to. Here let me see if I can.." he tried to move. There was no way for his big body to fit inside the crate any other way. The shifting just resulted in his muscular cheeks slapping your nose side to side.

"It's fine, it's fine" you said, stopping him. 

He stopped. "Hopefully we won't be in here to long"

The sweat was bad enough, but you were privy to the noxious fumes and odors of Iron Bulls rear.

"Less then four fucking days and here I am giving the Inquisitor the world's longest Rik'na a'Ishi"

You were picking up a few qunari words since bull joined but that one was new.

"Oh. It's just a stupid kid thing. Bullies tend to do it to weaker boys in the houses. I think the closest translation in human terms is smell, or stink face. Care to guess why?"

You didn't need to think very hard. Your nose clued you in. "I can guess Bull. I got a good nose and I don't think you bathed in a while"

A normal Rik'na a'Ishi would only be a few seconds. Have a friend kneel behind the target, push him so he falls, then rub your ass in his face. 

"What's the point?" You ask.

"Kids being kids; make sure they know you're the dominant type; sometimes just for a laugh."

"From the outside I could see it being funny," you said.

Bull chuckled

"Yeah go on you can laugh" 

"No boss, it's not that. I can feel your breath and it tickles" Bull said.

You moved your face around in the darkness. You notice that your nose has wedged itself in a hole torn in Iron Bulls pants. You traced the curve of his taught skin till it found the hair mangled valley of his cheeks. The Iron Bull was going commando. Your nose jumped over the chasm. The way he had been squatting had peeled the cheeks apart slightly; there was still miles of nutty brown flesh between you and the bullseye.

"You got a hole in your pants I think" you said.

Bull chuckled. "Yeah, that was a good Farakes" He suddenly got real quiet, as if he let some secret slip.

"What's a Farakas?"

'It's nothing boss."

"Is it like a party?"

"No. Some things are best keep secret boss"

"Well now I really want to know. Tell me what is a Farakas?" You blew out your nose. If Bull wasn't going to tell you he could expect a lot of tickling.

"I'd nothing. It's like a belch.." he trailed off muttering something under his breath.

"I didn't catch that last part; say again?"

"It's like a belch..but from your ass."

"You split a hole in your pants with a fart?"

"No, I split it with a good fart." He shifted again. "It's bad luck in the quen to say the word fart when your trapped in a cramped place; doubly so if it's the Bull who has his ass wedged in your face"

You recall your times in the barracks as a soldier, your older brothers and uncles. "Give me some credit Bull, I'm no featherweight mage."

"Oh boss, I know you're as badass as they come, but you don't know how bad the bulls ass can be. You know how Cullen keeps getting reports about a bear roaming around the camp at night but can't seem to find it?"

You had read the reports. For the past three nights just before dawn the night watchmen had been reporting low and long growling sounds. They were expecting a bear woken from hibernation, but they had yet to find any signs of the creature.

"Those are me," Bull said. "A sure sign I'm about to wake up is me letting slip with some slow growling juicy ones"

You shuddered "Maybe when we're back at base we can share a drink and I can experience this legendary beast. From a safe distance downwind that is."

You heard Bull's stomach groan. It was the cry of a tortured soul.

"If we have to stay in here much longer you may get to experience it up close. I'm gonna pinch it off as long as I can boss" Bull said.

What felt like hours passed. Guards kept coming in on routine patrols, none the wiser that two stowaways were crammed in one of their boxes. Your shoulder had begun to cramp. You needed to stretch it. With some working you managed to press it between Bull's legs.

"Woah, boss. Hello." Bull jerked as your arm ran along something long and rubbery.

You gave it a squeeze. "Feels like some sort of toy snake?"

You heard bull chirp. "Close boss. That's my toy snake"

You let go, red in the face. “Im sorry Bull I didn't mean to” “It's all good boss; I just usually like to know someone more than a few days before we get to the tug of war.”

Frantically you try and think of a way to change the topic, only to fail utterly by asking “So, what's got you so excited?” You squint so hard. You wish you could slap your own face. Of all the things to ask.

“Well I was just thinking about the last time I ripped one in someone’s face. The chargers and I were on the storm coast. We were waiting for some nobles to finish whatever shit nobles do when they are together. I was leaning on a rock just watching the waves. In and out. In and out. Really hypnotic. Guess I nearly dozed off. Snapped back to life when I let off a real tak’rethanka-- the wet roar of a dragon--. Rocky and Grim were behind me at the time. Poor grim took the brunt of the black. Rocky was ok. Nutty dwarf lost most of his sense of smell working with explosives. Grim though. That was the last day I remember Grim talking. Now he just grunts. I think I may have melted something in the guys brain, ya know boss?”

As Bull talked about the past you could feel his big rubbery snake bobbing and weaving up and down over your arm.

“That’s the kinda thing that gets you… excited… bull?” You say.

“Shiiit boss. No one really knows about that. I'm not usually with someone this long talking with them having my ass in their face. I’m into some weird shit aint I boss?” “Bull, if it's one thing I've learned about the world so far, it that there is too much crazy shit to worry about what makes people happy. If it makes you feel good I say do it.” You tell him.

“You’re alright boss. More than all right. Don't you worry though I won't let it mess with the job. And i'll make sure your plenty clear before I let rip” Bull says.

“That's gonna be kinda hard in here don't ya think. My face has been wedged in your ass for over an hour.” “I can hold it back boss”  Bulls stomach whined again, this time louder. “This is a nasty one though. It's taking all my willpower to keep the beast at bay.”

“Just get it over with and let it rip. I don't want you to explode” You tell him.

“Nah I can't do that boss. This is a real bad one.”

“I know you want to Bull.” “No, no I want nothing of the sort” He tells you.

You reach out and slap his rubbery cock. “Your ardor gives you away. Trust is important, and truth is the basis of trust. You want to do this.”

Bull cursed in qunlat. “You see right through me boss.” He shifted again, “By the way I wanted to ask. That thing you do with your sword when you draw it. Where did you learn that?” “Well it's a funny story, a few years ago” You start, but you never got to finish the story. As soon as he had distracted you, bulls cheeks let fly with a low rumbling fart. It was like staring into the mouth of a dragon. It washed over you like rain. The entire crate vibrated. Your nose was assaulted with the smell of fresh steaming shit. Bull was a consummate master of the gassy arts. He could have just let things out in one monstrous crack, but he metered it out, just enough to maintain a low droning hum. He caught you mid breath so you were forced to breath in a lung full through your nose. Your eyes watered. Suddenly you knew why Grim may have lost his ability to speak. 

The rest was silent.

You and Bull were in a sauna now. The floor was wet with buckets worth of sweat between you too. Bull just let out a sigh. 

“I tell you boss, very few things feel as good as letting it out after you’ve held it that long.” There was no answer. “Boss? Are you still alive down there?” You coughed. “...Bull” you weakly groan out. Alive, but possibly barley. “How in the the maker can you make such a thing inside you”

Bull was blushing again. “I know. I know. I'm a master. Bet you regret giving me the permission eh boss?” “Shit no Bull. Out of all the farts I’ve ever been privy to in my life, that one will go down as the most epic, the most legendary. You have my permission to let rip whenever, wherever, you want.” Bull stifled a belly laugh. “I don't think the camp guards are gonna be happy about that.” “If anyone gives you trouble, you have my permission to sit on their heads. You can even sit on mine again if you ever want” You tell him.

There was a tender silence between you. As if you were both having a conversation about something more meaningful than farting.

“Boss….” Bull said. “Feel free to say no if this is outta line but, after this mess here is over. Do you wanna fuck?”

[aclosetfan]

For the Salty asks: 1, 3, 5 and 6?

Thanks so much for playing along! Ima be real with you 2 out of the 4 questions you asked really opened up a can of worms for me, and I’m so sorry. I put the less stressful ones first, and the other two are under the cut! Anyway, these were super fun to answer, but plz don’t hate me for it!! 😂😂

for anyone wondering, here’s the ask list: Salty Asks List 

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

lmao yeah. It’s petty, but honestly, people’s personal morals really bleed through into their fandom opinions, and I’m not willing to put up with any unnecessary hate, especially in environments that are supposed to be fun. I’ve even blocked a few people. In the ppg fandom specifically, I’ve blocked a person who, I guess, thought it was necessary to try to gate-keep with racist/sexist/etc. terminology and ideologies, and I truly don’t have time for that 🤷‍♀️ (a lot of people probs know who I’m vaguing, but if you don’t, you’re lucky)

I can’t say I’ve ever unfollowed anyone for any innocent/not-in-conflict-with-my-morals fandom opinions. Usually, if I don’t agree with something, I just keep scrolling because lol whatever. Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion.

but ngl I have unfollowed people who just get annoying 😬😬 lol

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?*

I went into this fandom without having too many preferences, so I didn’t have a pairing that I’ve previously hated!

I guess I could say that while I never really hated them, the color-mixing and color-clashing ships weren’t ever on my radar until I came across the fandom content. Now, I really like them! Particularly, Brick and Bubbles!

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?*

Before anyone gets pissed off at me, before you get into my answer for this question, I’d like to really stress that you’ve got to go into it with absolutely zero fanon context. Like, erase all your headcanons from your mind. I’m dead serious. Because I literally DO NOT get why ANY rrbxppg ship would realistically work ever.

Okay, canonically, these six little funky science experiments were dead set on ending each other. The boys were absolutely horrible to the girls. And the girls literally KILL the boys. I know in fairytale romances, nothing stops love, but bruh, it’s hard to come back from murder 😂 And yeah, I know Clipsville showed the girls and the boys together as older teenagers, and they weren’t trying to kill each other, but that was an obvious gag. In the documentary, it was revealed that that particular “clip” was made because a bunch of people wanted the boys and girls to interact again, and CN gave into the demand. (also, lol I know it super embarrassing, but I did watch the documentary. I just really like Craig McCracken) I just don’t think that realistically a canon pairing between the two sets of triplets would ever be considered a healthy relationship. 

Also, ethically, I just—okay listen, I go back and forth with this allllll the time, but the ppgxrrb ships make me confront the “Would I sleep with my clone?” question way too often. Depending on my self-esteem, the answer changes each time. Like sometimes I’m like fuck yeah I would! Other times I’m like, ew, no, I’d have to consider my clone as a twin! I know counterparts aren’t technically clones, BUT the boys really do come across as identical to the girls in the show. The only difference really is their moral alignment (I’m nixing any gender argument). So, I’m like, omg, can I honestly pair these six together in any way??? Are they too close to each other genetically in some sense for this to be morally right??? Like if you ship Brick and Buttercup together, would that just essentially be shipping Brick and Butch/Blossom and Buttercup together in some messed up way??? Is Brick just Blossom, and Blossom just Brick?? Is it better just to ship color-matching instead of mixing???  

On top of all of that, wouldn’t the boys and girls be pseudo cousins since Mojo was the Professor’s lab monkey? Technically, in canon, Mojo ends up being both sets of triplets “creator,” so could the rrb and the ppg be considered siblings of some sort? Some of you are probably like, wow, calm down. Stop thinking about it. They’re science experiments. It’s not so deep. Which I get, but I can’t stop, so let me hit you with something ten times worse: should the girls (or the boys) actually be considered biological siblings? Does sugar, spice, and everything nice make you genetically related? Nothing put in the stirring pot was organic—just a bunch of chemicals. If you ship the boys and girls together this could be a good thing! BUT, but, could some sick fuck use this information to somehow justify shipping siblings (ppgxppg or rrbxrrb) together??? This is a literal nightmare to think about!!

All in all, I can’t think about these pairings too much without getting caught up in the logistics of their existence even if they’re fictional lmaoooo! If it wasn’t for the fandom, I wouldn’t ship them together at all. I just think it’s amazing that the ships took off like they did lol, because their literal (fictional) existence is just one giant mind fuck for me. Anyway, I ship them at the end of the day, but tbh I do it with a bit of a guilty conscience. Is it morally correct to ship clone-like counterparts? Or should counterparts be treated like twins? Does it even fucking matter at the end of the day, it’s just fiction? I don’t know the right answer. But I do know the pairings don’t make sense. 

Aside from the ppgxrrb, I don’t think there are many other BIG fandom wide pairings. Still, I just want to say that I don’t get why people ship Ace and Buttercup together. The pairing sounds off a few major alarms in my head for obvious reasons. There’s also a bunch of crack ships that involve crossovers with other cartoons. Generally, I don’t mind them, but it seems popular to ship Aku (from Samurai Jack) and Blossom together. And I’m real sorry to those devoted shippers, but again I do NOT get it. I see a lot of romantic fan art depicting romantic situations with Blossom still drawn as a child, and like I get Aku is an immortal demon, so “age is just a number,” but again, BIG ALARMS go off in my head.

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?*

🙃 🙃 Kind of don’t want to answer this, but I will anyway because only a few people actually read my blog lolol, so lol, yep! And it’s the reds. Don’t shoot me lol. When I was in middle school, I got into this fandom, forgot about it, and then came back when I was hit by a round of nostalgia. I’m finishing up college now, and I can confidentially say that the fanon content for the reds hasn’t changed one bit. Or the demand for it.

I tended to find that a lot of red content follows many archetypes that I’m just not into. Their stories can get a real cringey, real fast. Blossom is always written like this “perfect, except she’s not (but she really is)” character. Like she’s the girl you WISH you could be, but she’s also going through a shit ton of stuff that no person IRL would be able to handle without having a mental breakdown. And sometimes, in some stories, Blossom does have a mental breakdown, but in a sexy way, so she’s still perfect. Generally, there’s still something problematic about Blossom that makes it easy for a reader to relate to her on some level, unlike the way people write Bubbles. And then there’s Brick, who’s broody, hyper-possessive or jealous, and hot figuratively and literally (gotta love the fire/ice trope). He’s the only boy—no! Wait!—the only person who could ever possibly outwit Blossom, and he is just so undeniably attracted to Blossom. They’re the smart power couple that should honestly just hook-up in Chapter One to save everybody time, but they don’t. Nah, they’ve got to survive at least two love triangles before they even consider admitting they’re attracted to each other.  

And don’t get me wrong, none of that’s bad, but there are a million fanfics that go through the same song and dance with these two. And it’s kind of easy to tell when someone’s hardcore projecting onto Blossom because the type of person they’re personally attracted to is the way they write Brick. And I’m not knocking anyone self-projecting onto characters, sometimes people got to do that to give themselves a fun mental break, but bro, I don’t want to read about it. For one, smart broody assholes aren’t my type. Maybe when I was in middle school, but not anymore. And two, it’s just not interesting to me, which is a real shame since the reds are a majority of the fanon content.

Maybe if I found more red stories where the plot isn’t character-driven but plot-driven, so I see the romance between these two characters in a context where it’s not the main focus of the story, it would solve my issue with the pairing. I haven’t found many fics like that, though.

I can’t really think of any reds fic where I’m like ey, this aint bad unless it has a “major character death” tag attached to it lmao (which are always plot driven stories). However, in all honesty, since I’ve stayed away from red content for a while now, I don’t know the current state of things. Maybe there’s been a load more development for these two, or people have broken away from the same plotlines, but I’m too busy to check. I do browse people’s fic rec lists from time to time, but it sort of feels like everyone just puts the same fics on their lists and moves on.

And before someone’s like, “well, you can say all this about the greens or the blues,” just know I’m fully aware. The greens make me cringe too because there’s a shit ton of possessive and abusive storylines filling their story tags. And what makes me super uncomfortable is how people make Buttercup hit Butch or call him derogatory names, oftentimes unprompted. I don’t know why people make Buttercup such an unlikeable and overly aggressive person. I also don’t get why they make Butch some perverted idiot, but to each their own, I guess? Still, I see these green-character patterns most often in red-focused stories, which is another reason why I avoid them. I’ve found a lot of green-focused content that strays from the abusive tropes I try to avoid. Considerably less than I’d like, but the greens are typically the b-plot pairing, so that’s to be expected. Personally, I’d really like to see more content with the greens finding some kind of inner peace, and recently, I’ve seen a few fics that have tried to tackle this concept.

And lol, if you’ve read some of my posts before, you already know that I think the blues are an underdeveloped fanon pairing. The fandom can’t ruin that pairing for me because it never does anything substantial with it.  

Anyway, at the end of the day, I’m just personally not into the way the reds are popularly written, but I get why people are and that’s good with me. 

[spookyboogie3]

MY FAVORITE AH MOMENTS W/O R*an H*yw**d

Also keep in mind some of these moments i picked Bitch Face r*an may have been present for but this aint about his stupid ass. 

The straw bit on Off Topic

Fiona and Trevor’s “Look at us” “Look at us” “Look at us” in TTT

Drunk Jeremy inhaling helium, followed by Jack and Trevor on Off Topic

“Krusty KrAYAYAB!!!” TTT

Jeremy trying to slam his face through a table, followed by Michael doing the same thing

“my god…… the munchdew” “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” Minecraft: Skyfactory

Actually all of Simple Farmer Geoff from Skyfactory

Whatever those sounds were that Jack was making in the beginning of GTA video

Alfredo screaming as he continues to fall down a steep tube in a GTA race

DESTROYING THEIR OFFICE DEAR LORD

“How did he drown though?” “UNDERWATER, MATT!”

Anytime Fiona starts to RAGE in TTT (bonus if others join in)

The time Gav was the phantom in TTT and he kept dying and being brought back and Jack spitting water and then trying to catch it

Alfredo’s Magoo moments in Minecraft

Geoff laughing in the background of a video hes not in

Lindsay fucking around with Chef Mike on Harecore Minigolf

Lindsay fucking around in general

Gavin and Fiona playing Animal Crossing and laughing at the stupidest shit

The Fish Tempura incident on Wheel of Fortune

Lindsay’s reasoning for why her and Michael should have 4 kids

Geoff’s fucking ad reads (my favorite is 23&Me)

The whole thing during Push the Button where everyone especially Michael gets mad at Fiona because she said the best candy to get while trick or treating was lollipops

Matt’s fucking desk in the corner of the room

Anytime Millie is in a video

Everyone falling off the pink ladder during TTT and dying repeatedly because of it

Alfredo “the two-time champ” Diaz dying very early in YDYD 3

Gavin and Michael fucking up almost every game they play on Play Pals

RAY OR NO and then RAY OR NAY on Off Topic

Reddit Roasts Geoff

Gavin asking if someone could kill 20 cows with their bare hands and the proceeding so say he could rip out a cow’s veins by reaching into its neck

Ify’s narration during Let’s Roll Ave Caesar

The internet losing its shit when Jeremy shaved his head years ago

“We need a knife” Gavin comes back with a hammer

Griffin chain sawing the Off Topic table up

“How do I put the boat in the water??” “Right click you animal”

As of 2020, 8 years of playing Minecraft, certain people still do not know how to play the basics of this fucking game.

Honestly it took over 200 episodes for some of them to figure out how the compass worked. You know after they decided that the sun was setting in the wrong direction. (this was in 2016??)

Flynt coal still is a joke they make

So is Day 2

Whatever happened in that GTA lets play where someone called a mugger or a hit on someone and the game glitched and 50 guys showed up and lined up on the street below from where they were playing

Anytime Gavin gets mugged, it’s an old running gag but it’s a classic

The time a mugger fucking started driving the fire truck away after mugging Gavin with Michael and Jeremy still in the truck thinking the other is driving and it takes them like 2 minutes to realize what happened while Gavin’s yelling “come back”

They got a water jug and immediately started water boarding each other

“It pinged and went dingle”

“Hey Trey-Boi” “Hey Gay-Boi” Immediately realizes what he has said

Jeremy’s website puns

(OLD) Ray jerking off in the corner during a let’s play

(OLD) the world in Minecraft never loading and everyone screaming about as Geoff says its fine for him

Jeremy’s “I AM MONSTER TRUCK”

Jack taking AH to Disney……in Minecraft

On Twitter, Gavin asked about recommendations for a computer mouse and Fiona starts sending him pictures of actual mice.

“Its not ghey, if its on the moon”

Literally anything Fiona does as Po

Jeremy saying the heterosexual flag is boring

UNO THE MOVIE!

Geoff fucking cackling the whole time.

“here’s looking at you kid”

the video was almost 3 hours long

“you know what my favorite color is? blue” “oh really? You know what my favorite hand is? Yours

They all want it to end but no one wants to lose and so they fuck each other and that prolongs the game. Also they put on more rules, so they just keep getting more cards if they don’t have a card to match the previous

Alfredo saying he won’t participate in ghost hunter because he knows what happens to people of color in horror movies

Fiona walking in on Off Topic with a protein shake and Gavin asks if shes drinking milk and she says without missing a beat “ah no that’s cum” and everyone laughed not expecting the answer

(OLD) “SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER” *falls in hole*

(OLD) Ray and Gav running in a panel dressed as X-Ray and Vav and Ray running the whole way around the room before he got to the stage

Duck taping Jeremy to the wall

(OLD) All of Minecraft Episode 3 Plan G (This was the very first AH video I watch and why I know who they are)

Geoff and Gav creating Achievement City and giving everyone houses just to prank Jack into burning house down with lava.

Ray’s house is a dirt block with no furniture and single torch

Geoff’s giant ass house next to Ray’s tiny house

Jack tries to destroy everything with lava throughout the episode

“lets be honest, I realistically didn’t lose anything”

Michael stealing art from Gav’s house “NOO! I want nice things”

The sign to Michael’s says “Awaiting Approval, Awaiting Approval, Awaiting Approval” he runs into house and say “I’m home”

Ray also steals this sign at some point

Plan G – The failsafe.

“Oh whats this? Is this a button? Whats this? (pushes button) Yeah it was a button”

“Did you push the button?”

“Yeah”

“okay”

“wh-what does it do?”

“uh…”

Cue Achievement City beginning to explode as Michael starts screaming

Rays reaction “NO, MY SHITTY HOUSE JUST GOT EVEN SHITTIER!”

Not something funny but something VERY IMPORTANT. AH admitting that they all fucked up and how shitty their behavior was when dealing with harassment in the fanbase. People were racist, sexist, homophobic, misogynistic, and just downright horrible to a lot of the employees at RT and AH. This came up after Mica Burton left the company and talked about it publicly and how nothing was done about it. Fiona who also experiences these same things, along with Lindsay and other employees, but Fiona took the charge on the Off Topic talking about people can’t continue to get away with that behavior. She got to sound off her feelings to a group of white men who all respected her and LISTENED to what was saying and how she felt. She cried; Geoff cried. They all want to do more, so this doesn’t happen in the future and they’re not tolerating the racist and horrible comments. AH taking a mature moment to talk about how they failed to stop these comments and Geoff was right when he said the company has a long way to go.

 Outside of AH each member has more to them than just all of the comedy and laughs and dumb shit they do

Geoff helped found Roosterteeth and Achievement Hunter. He has a beautiful daughter in Millie who is awesome in her own right. He’s a recovering alcoholic. Currently doing F**k Face podcasts. Was in the fucking army. Takes accountability for every mistake he makes.  

Jack also helped start Achievement Hunter. He does so much work for charity. His twitter is full of things to help people go vote. He’s like the dad to AH, especially Fiona. He’s happily married to his wife Caiti.

Michael was an electrician and has a lot of handy man experience. He made a few videos online about him raging at games and that got the attention of RT. He’s currently married to Lindsay who he met because of RT. They have two kids together.

Gavin is an expert at high speed filmmaking and know how use and edit footage from a slow-motion camera. He has worked on actual films. One of the creators of the Slow Mo Guys. Worked his ass off to get to work for RT. Currently dating model and cosplayer Meg Turney

Lindsay flips between being the mom of the group and a complete chaos queen and we all love her for it. She started as an editor for the RT podcast and then AH stuff. She is an incredible voice actor, most known for Ruby Rose (RWBY), Space Kid (Camp Camp), Hilda (Xray & Vav) just to name a few. She also has a degree in finance

Jeremy started as a fan who made videos on the community page. He took over Ray’s place after Ray left to do Twitch full time. He is a self-published author and a skilled rapper and singer. He’s currently married to his wife, Kat.

Matt also started as a fan making videos on the community page. He actually interacted and made stuff for the guys in really early Minecraft episodes. Seriously this guy is like king of Minecraft. He has a degree in electrical engineering. He also has pretty decent singing voice.

Trevor is THE BOSS. Has a degree in aero-space engineering and is getting paid to babysit AH. Currently dating Barbara Dunkelman, RTs queen of puns.

Alfredo worked at IGN before RT and is a well-known streamer. He is the best when it comes to first person shooter games. He and Trevor look so similar.

Fiona. Po. Her majesty. Host of This Just Internet. A Twitch streamer. Baby of the bunch. Grew up in Europe. Her and Gav act like a pair of siblings. She has stated and showed time and time again she will fight for people to have safe spaces for anyone who needs them.

Ify, our new guy. He is wonderful and I want to stay forever. He’s a comedian, a writer, and an actor. Co hosts F-ing Around with Fiona. Has his own film podcast, Who Shot Ya? I look forward to more content with him in it, cause everything he’s been in so far has been great.

 Were all hurting but well make it through this

We have all these wonderful moments and a lot more that I didn’t list and this incredible team of personalities with their own accomplishments and achievements. Not to mention old team members who were also great additions and the entire crew behind the scenes editing and making videos look the best that they can.

 Here’s to Achievement Hunter and to this community. We need to be here for each other in times like these.

@theonyxranger gave me the idea for this based on their own post they made about the fans giving their favorite moments without bitch face and there were just too many. Oop. 

[pestopascal]

so how would you fix the server now? i still really love fhr even after everything and what i know is in it and i still want to participate in the server but im so confused as to whats going on there are no mods, theres like no talk anymore

first and foremost, you get that fucking apology out of the previous mods. and none of this ‘i have mental illness’ stuff to hide behind either, we’re all mentally ill. thats never been an excuse, and it sure as shit aint one now. like you get them to acknowledge what theyve said, and done, how they encouraged behaviours, how they treated their other mod who was TRYING to do something for everyone, how they let themselves literally just get bought off and let people exist (”we’re well aware of smute”). you also get them to acknowledge the dms, and the bitching in other servers, and the general BEHAVIOUR they showed. thanks, but you fucked up! and they dont pity party either. they will be torn to shreds if they do.

you fucking put in place like at least a MINIMUM of 15 mods. the server is 600+ ppl. like what the fuck were idk 5 ppl in like one timezone supposed to do anyway lolllllll but these are mods with powers and we love democracy so we keep it an odd number in case they need to vote and its a tie. you can also instill the whole bullshit ‘community manager’ thing if you want to like fill the holes and keep watch and report stuff as well ig.

also like we all know who the RLY bad ppl are with their comments about “mixed people” and disgustingly nsfw content. like fucking remove them. if u wanna be nice and coddle them after everything that happened give them like the absolute final warning and then just kick but quite frankly i think you should just remove them.

next, and ive had to do this a couple of times with old servers that were getting a freshen up/restructure... what you do is you put almost all the channels on read only. like leave the gen ones, and rules/announcements/current events (that now exists lol). these are still able to be written in. but what you do is you tell EVERYONE to go through, like give ppl 5-7 days, and pick out stuff they may have like not saved, need for reference, etc. that many days bc some ppl just arent active and dont wanna miss out maybe. but ppl go through their thousands of messages, like i know ppl post writing and art without cross saving.

then, you lock those channels up and archive them. some places ive been on straight up deleted but yknow thats not super productive. drop that category right to the bottom and hide it, then reinstate every other category/channel. you fucking EMPHASISE that shit wont be tolerated anymore. keep ya nasty ass nsfw in the nsfw channels. keep to channels or you’ll be warned (PER THE FUCKING RULES RIGHT THERE). if ppl do wanna look at the archived stuff, make it role related and they can have a quick browse if they need to (thats why we keep them!!).

you go through all the pins. you clear out all the unnecessary roles. those spoilers malin posts make sure theyre up to date in that google doc, because yknow. youre gonna move them out of the chat (or repost them at the top, but you have a limited amount of pins technically per channel). you put your resources for achievements available and easily accessible (the game discussion is actually for discussion about the game, not how youre gonna be teehee more orange). you actually set this up like an official server, which it claims to be. i personally would even remove the nsfw channels, despite the game veering into that content, but like. whatever !

also i would even just ping @ everyone and like get ppl to react if theyre here for spoilers or whatever like out of 600+ i think theres 50 active ppl, and like make sure ppls roles are up to date then. if someone rly is just there for snippets, they get pinged for that. like make a fucking effort. it doesnt have to be a full time job, but if you dont make it easy for yourself, then its gonna be terrible.