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not-a-big-slay · 9 months ago

Text

Until it doesn't hurt

kaz brekker x fem!reader

summary:betrayal leaves some wounds behind, but even more questions when you can't figured out from whom it really came from.

warnings: violence, cursing

type: fluff

part: 12/13

previous part: part 11 masterlist

a/n: please, please, PLEASEEUHH im SO SO SORRY! it has been almost a FUCKING YEAR SINCE THE LAST CHAPTER?! HELLO?! WHO TF DO I THINK I AM? i need to keep myself in line cuz this aint normal! i have been hiatus for soo long i need to pull it together. anywayy, its finished finally. its long ahh hell and im gonna be working on another part immediately so it wont be another 50 years dw. dont mind any grammar mistakes, english is not my first language and i have written one half of this in 2023, so i really dont feel like redoing it lol. i dare you if you can recognize where exactly i picked this draft up again. anyway, pleasee enjoy!!

also, sike, its not the last part hehe, there will be part 13 AND an epilogue

taglist (hi yall :'))

@chickencouncilrep

@venomsvl

@happy-nico

@twlegit

@ravenmedows

@blathena

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She had lost again.

That would be the third time tonight. Her change was getting thin and she predicted it would take one more game before she had to go kill someone for free again. So much for making a ton of money with this job. The girl watched her opponent spoon the coins from the table with one hand, laughing: "One more game and I'll have to dig up another grave, Y/N." Others laughed, so she wasn't the only one thinking that after all. It was logical, she really had to stop playing with grown men, they wasted away their old nights playing poker at this very table and she had other, young people things to do. It would be wise to get up and leave, no one would judge her for that. They would maybe even cheer her on, finally making a rational decision, no one ever seen that before when it came to her. Yet the thought of doing so was being blocked by a high indestructable wall, one that never goes away and will only be built higher.

If she does leave, she has to go home.

Her mother is probably fast asleep already, it is possible she could go to bed unnoticed and leave early in the morning. This option she used very little as Y/N never wanted to come back there. A year ago, after her mother left her blood soak through the wooden floor, Y/N made promise into her scars that she will never lay eyes on mother again. She successed in that for a year so far, becoming a hitman that was quite infamous in town. But her fame started growing from mockery, as she was really addicted to poker.

Her eyes gazed on Tim, the cemetary worker, the buryer as she liked to call him. He was one of the granpas at this table, but one of the peaceful people in town. He never wanted her to kill, just to help him with his work, although Y/N hated it more than the murders, she didn't like the aftermath of her work. Tim, being satisfied, started organizing the coins on the table. No, she cannot go home tonight.

"So what's it gonna be, kid?" asked the other player, Miyka. Her green eyes stared on Y/N's face, her wrinkles scrunched in excitment. Oh, how she hated all of them. The girl faked thinking about it before tossing dramatically her last money onto the table. "I bet 20." It didn't sound as good when she started that low, but it was all she had left. Intstead of the usual giggle and witty lines and jokes they threw her way before following up on her bad choices, they sighed, almost in dissapointment. It frustrated her, it seemed like they cared what she does instead of what amount of money she holds. It seemed like they cared about her. A wave of fear pushed her like a tsunami at this thought. People that cared ended up hating her, hurting her.

"What!" she snapped. Miyka looked at Lios, her brother, in concern, while Tim silently reorganized his coins. She looked around the table, frown getting deeper and frustration blooming wider. What was wrong with them. "Well, Y/N" Lios began, "We are just kinda...worried about you. That's all." Miyka took the word next- her previous question has been an obvious tease, the girl was dissapointed. "You clearly have nowhere to go, so you are spending your time here which is.... we get it, but." She sighed, trying to find the right words. "It's not good." Tim helped her and smiled at Y/N as if it would calm her. It did not in fact, she felt more and more anxious about their care, anxious situations made her angry. She wondered why she didn't kill them all instead of those free targets, she would never have to pay another debt again, because there would be no poker players left to play and her addiction would dissapear. "So that's it, huh? You ain't gonna play because you are scared I could actually win?" she said in her defense. Nonsense, she knew, but her heart was sweating and she was glad it didn't blow up yet. "We just care, Y/N, that-"

"Care?! Remind me Lios of just how many people I killed for you, then talk about caring for someone's life!" she spat as she stood up. Lios was more than content to her way of paying, she had no idea why he apparently cared when he could have another enemy at his feet if he just played one more game. Miyka tried to calm her down, touching her hand softly only for Y/N to flinch, hard. Her vision began to blur, the floor shook beneath her and sweat poured on her face. It was like the room was on fire, but she was the only one feeling it. Other people at the pub, being entertainted by the game or simply just hanging ot there, looked worried, some even disturbed by her behaviour.

What was happening to her?

She leaned on the table with her palms, the wood trying to ground her as she closed her eyes to not feel theirs. Voices of the players echoed her head as sounds in a cave and they felt distant, but still could make her more nervous with their caring attitude. They soon fell in whispers, driving her insane. Then, she caught one voice that silenced all the muttering, it was clear, quiet yet she felt as if its breath was in her ear. "Why play, when you can take a life for the exact amount of money laying on this table?"

She recognized the voice, it belong to the fourth player, Haltt. His voice was known only in the game. Hearing him say a sentence was unusual and therefore very powerful. It was deep, low, hard. It had authority and respect and it didn't need to ask for it. He had everyone's attention, he controlled the room with only his silent voice.

Y/N's eyes looked into his dark ones, she had to find them in the shadows floating around him, as if he commanded to them as well. "What are you saying?" she asked carefully, not knowing why. Haltt observed the table, his salt-and-pepper- although more salt than pepper- short beard surrounding his mouth as it counted the cash, then let out a little chuckle that brought goosebumps to everyone close to him. "920 Neredi. Being a hitman, a respectful hitman, would make this amount your pocket change." He grabbed the rest of her money she threw on the table and looked over to Tim. The buryer shook his head hesitantly, knowing what Haltt wants to do, but all it took was the man's neutral gaze for Tim to fold. Y/N watched him slowly scooping the money and anger took over. She pinned his hand to the table, not looking away from his face. She could hear people drawing breaths in fear, but she was free from all the anxiety now, she was grounded by his scary presence, she liked it even.

Haltt's head slowly turned to her direction, his eyes creating a straight path to hers, his eyebrows climbing up as he said softly: " You want this?" When she didn't respond, he stood up, took her hand off of his gently, not letting go as his freed hand reached behind his back, pulling out a gun. She observed quickly, it was an older model, it was small and only one bullet fit into it- however she knew a man like Haltt would only ever need one bullet- he then rotated her hand and placed it in her palm. He released her only when she seized it. Y/N let her hand warm the handle before looking up at Haltt again. "Then go make it." he finished his statement and sat back down in the shadows. Y/N checked the inside of the gun and she confirmed her knowledge about it.

She scoffed. "One bullet" Haltt nodded as if he answered to her statement. "That's all you need, I know your skills." his glass clincked when his rings touched it, raising it to his lips. She waited until he drank the remainings of his whiskey, having the suspision he might continue. "You kill the target, you'll get double of this." Her surprise was voiced by everyone around her, gasping and unbelievably whispering. Lios looked at Haltt, telling him he cannot do this. But Haltt only looked at her. "No one here wants you to play. You made them care, something a hitman shouldn't do." She squeezed her free hand into a fist, knowing his eyes are reading her like cards on the table. He leaned in: "Take your reputation back, make them fear you instead." he said quietly and it seemed only she heard it. He retreated back into his seat, letting her simmer in his words.

She knew people stopped perceiving her as a threat, a force to be reckon with, a fearful killer, and started to look at her as a 15 year old that sometimes threw tantrums. People smiled at her, old men laughed at her when they drank beer at the bar, as if she was their granddaughter doing silly things. Once, she was feared, but now she behaved like an old woman trapped inside a teenage body with gambling addiction and alcoholism. Everyone treated her as a kid she never was, but Haltt seemed to remember who she was 6 months ago, to trust her potential, her skills she never lost, but used them to not drown in debts, not to her job. She suddenly became so connected to him, she was hypnotized. The sound of the chatty room blurred again as she explored the gray ocean behind Haltt's eyes. He let her, grinning as he watched her back straighten and her nose breathing in deeply. Then came the question:

"Who is the target?"

Halt's smile stabbed through his cheeks as he answered.

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Inej didn't allow herself a break until she got the that exact building Y/N told her to. She was nervous to say the least. If everything goes right, Pekka Rollins will be dead. It was unbelievable to even think about. The moonlight caressed her back and the salty wind danced around her in excitment. Ketterdam is cheering for them, it will be better off without Rollins. She thought of ways how to carve his heart out, she wanted to make a heart-shaped hole, but it was too complicated making the curves, it would take too long and she didn't want him to die before she was finished. She needed something quick, but symbolic. After all, when the stadwatch will find his body, her work should be admired. Or Deln's work, she hated he will take credit for it, but it's definitely for the best.

Soon, the spider heard two sets of footsteps beneath her. She looked down carefully, confirming it's Y/N. In the dark, she couldn't much see her 'friend', but she could feel the disgust and fear Y/N had from above, suspecting he might not be an actual friend after all. Another secret of hers she wished to uncover after this is over. The way Jesper talked about this girl is riling up an interest in her. She wanted to get to know her better, her fate might not much differ from her own and she would like to hear her story, she would like to see why Kaz seemed to hate her so much. She also hoped Y/N will stay with them after this. For Jesper's sake and maybe for Nina's nerves as she looked worried about her.

As Y/N dissapeared into the alley, Inej grabbed her knife, Sankt Petyr, that she sharpened moments before. The wind picked up and she stood motionlessly at the edge of the building. She watched lightened windows in the Smeet Residence, hoping no one will think about looking outside tonight. The house reminded her of one she encountered at the southern colonies of Novyi Zem. It was in a horrible shape compared to this, but it was a haven for the citizens there, they admired it like people in Ketterdam admire The Exchange. It was luxurious given the state of the land.

Her train of thought stopped before it reached a station, because her ears picked up a subtle voice, then a laugh. The sounds got louder as they slowly approached her. Rollins must be pretty nervous of the meet-up if he talked to himself, or he was not alone. A slight panic rose in Inej's chest and she prepared to make the uninvited dissapear. If Rollins truly had some company, she would have to wait until he saw Y/N to take it out, otherwise he might see her and change his mind. If we won't do it, somebody else will brought out fire in her stomach. The girl was right, if they won't try the lovely dessert of revenge, others might eat it whole with no crumbs left. She suspected Pekka is the main character in many unfinished death threats and planned out vengeances.

The Wraith took a deep breath as her eyes closed, slowing down her rapid heartbeat filled with excitment. When she opened them, the bright windows from the residence, along with the dimmed lights on the streets aluminated two beings walking. One was definitely the leader of one of the most dangerous gangs in Ketterdam.

And so was the other one.

She silently gasped, panicking again, her heartbeat picking up. What the fuck is Kaz doing here? And why was he bent over with Rollins' hand around his neck. Even though they were right across her, Inej was oblivious to their conversation- well, monologue if she was more accurate- because she was way too busy feeling the plan fall apart. This wasn't supposed to happen, Kaz was meant to know nothing and then just cheer and celebrate once they'd be done. Why did he always took matters into his hands?.

When she came back to reality, they were almost in the alleyway. The spider quickly followed them, never taking her eyes off of Kaz's helpless form. Her hands always gently grazed any surface she incountered, her feet always landing on the tips of her toes, her moves inspiring every ballerina in Kerch, yet now her hands were sliding off roughly and she had to bent her knees to make the landing silent. Her fear of her friend manipulated her body and she almost fell over the edge when the sharp turn of the building made an appearance, luckily she awokened from the feeling and stopped herself.

She was above the meeting place now.

On her right was Y/N with the strange man. Y/N was anxiously pacing around, obviously worried as they all were, even the man next to her who stood still as a pole was taking almost unseeable shuttered breaths. When the girl faced her direction, Inej wanted to warn her of the unexpected turn of events, but she wouldn't be seen anyway. As it turned out though, she also wouldn't have the time to catch her attention in time as the target slowly showed up on her left side, Kaz still in his grasp. Up close she could see the knife he held to his neck, already cut into the flesh. The man on her right stopped breathing and tried to hide his widened eyes, Rollins smirked as he saw him, shaking his head in disbelief. But the tension really sparked up when Y/N finally saw them, her eyes instantly digging into Kaz, while his were already screaming at her. Only two words bound them all together as they appeared on every present mind.

Oh fuck.

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Silence started perhaps being uncomfortable for Deln, yet Y/N only cared about the boy 5 meters in front of her. He wore blood, a lot of blood. His face showed bruises for every Barrel rat and every drop of blood that fell next to his feet tore a piece of her heart. But the worst thing was his expression, it was no longer hateful, nor angry. His eyes sinked into her and they washed her with almost a relief-like feeling, like he was happy to see her, or maybe upset to see her here, in a dangerous street that will be painted red by more than one person. His gaze was soft, almost pleading her to either run away or get closer to him.

He was worried.

"I told you to come alone if my memory is still serving right." Deln began the conversation, dragging both of their attention to him. He earned a chuckle from Rollins and a response as he squeezed Kaz's neck, straightening him up: "Well, I thought I might get the lovebirds back together, eh?" The knife retreated back to his pocket, revealing a red line on the boy's neck. Y/N allowed herself to let one tear roll down her cheek as an apology to him. Pekka must have kidnapped him, because there was no other explanation on why was he present. Deln was confused, he didn't know Dirtyhands as far as she knew, nor about her time with Hertzoon. "Aw, look at 'em, already pining for each other." Rollins mocked and pushed Kaz off of his hand. Y/N had a hard time keeping it together.

Deln sighed annoyingly and the hitman was glad he kept the plan on track. It was hard to admit he was actually a big help to her. "Whatever, let's talk business shall we? It's cold tonight. Don't wanna be out late." he said offered and Rollins laughed in his face again: "What, gotta read the slaves a goodnight story?" If she wasn't still in shock from Kaz, the plan would skip to the killing part very quickly. "Well, not anymore since you took 'em all away, didn't you." the slaver stated and wiped the smile off of Pekka's face quickly. Y/N had to admit he played the role she made for him perfectly and let the conversation rest in his hands, as she continued to worry silently about the bloodied boy.

The Dime Lions' leader seemed to get upset about Deln's forwardness, he probably thought he could talk his way out of it with his disturbing charm. He put his hands on his hips and shrugged. "It ain't my problem you keep 'em in a dirty warehouse. I offered them a room with a comfortable bed and good money if they were willing to smile. That ain't no crime, lad."

"I'm not interested in your architectural opinion on my slave-keeping. I am upset you stole my property." Y/N was very invested in the conversation she almost forgot her role was against Deln. Her tied hands turned him to her side by the shoulder and pierced him with her eyes. "Don't speak of them like that." she warned and he simpy scoffed her off. It wasn't much, she must admit, but it was enough to voice her stand in this matter. "HA! And what do you think you'll be after we're done here? You will be lucky if I allow you to work in my brothel." the last sentence was a warning, he could be so much cruel to her, like he was in his house. She was present finally, all worry stepped aside to make space for the anger she held and the focus she held earlier tonight sat back down on her mind.

"You won't touch her."

Ready to speak, Y/N was taken aback by his raspy voice with scary undertone. He spoke to her like that, not long ago. It was almost unreal he was defending her. As much as it brought shivers down her body, Rollins was unfazed by the threat. "You can barely stand, boy. What can you possibly do to me." he stated the obvious and continued once he looked her way again. "Besides, she really isn't worthy of your protection." He put one foot in front of the other slowly, walking over to her. She was on alert, if she had the opportunity, she wouldn't wait anymore and strangle him with her tired hands and her desire to dig his grave. He stopped few steps from her and reached into his pocket again, pulling out something else than a knife this time. "Lost this?"

A thin, almost not visible in the dark, black string was held between his fingers. The bracelet she lost. The one Kaz gave her on the last day they saw each other. She lost it in Rollins' office. Her temptation to reach for it was unseen by Y/N as her first instinct was to look at Kaz, who also drowned in the vision of the string. She broke her promise, a childish one, sure, but it destroyed her still. It always served as a reminder of her failure. How she failed to warn him and Jordie, how she wrapped his heart around her finger without knowing it and allowed Hertzoon to shatter it. The girl promised herself to not mess up this promise, at least one thing she could keep. In the end, she lost it too.

How does she deserve to live after destroying all good in her life?

"Yeah, cruel isn't she? Do you really think she cares about you, or anyone for that matter?" he talked to Kaz that was still mesmerized by the sight in Rollins' hand. Deln was silently watching the scene, the situation out of his hands now, the plan off of track. "You don't know anything about her, boy-". " You're wrong." she interrupted him. He turned to her, waiting to elaborate, the string still lifted between his fingers as if he was trying to hypnotize them. "I told him everything." Y/N continued as she silently wished with the last bit of hope he would take the bait. He didn't:

"Everything, eh?" he echoed as he turned his back on her and focused on Kaz fully. As he reached his personal space, his hand streched to him, giving him the bracelet. The boy fixated on it, swaying with the wind due to his trouble standing on the one good leg for this long. Rollins watched him closely, feeling Kaz's hand taking it almost immediately. When his coffee-like eyes reached his snake ones, Pekka uncovered Y/N's lie:

"Do you remember Ms. Hertzoon?"

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"...You what?"

"Don't you dare be offended, you manipulated her and then left us. You're as bad as I am."

That made them punch her strongly in the stomach. Funny, Rollins wanted to watch her suffer, but was too lazy to torture her himself. They were on this for 2 hours now, or she at least thought so, she couldn't tell if the ringing was only in her ears. Rollins had her sit on a chair and then asked questions. The first were stupid and simple, almost like a small talk: Did she rob him, why is she back, when did she get back, etc. She earned 5 different punches in this round. Then the latter began. They wanted to know what happened after the con trick- as he called it- which resulted in her split lip and first blood drawn. Then another small talk, remembering all their time together and then, the truth. "Where is your mother?" it began and ended in countless of other painful things she couldn't be bothered to remember.

"How." he almost whispered, it was so dramatic that Y/N would laugh if she wasn't wheezing with every breath. "Oh, please. Like you care." she fully expected the hit for that one, though it still hurt like hell. "How!" he ordered her and watched her grow a grin with her painted-red mouth. She could still feel the little gun in her little hand, standing at the foot of her mother's bed. She watched her sleep for a moment before she truly aimed. Haltt was right, it did get back her reputation. He gave her the money and she counted every single coin to make sure it really was doubled. Fortunately, he was an honest man.

"One bullet was all it took."

To say she regretted it would be a lie, the biggest one in history maybe. She second-guessed it on her way home, sure, but she more doubted Haltt's promise than her actions. However, once she really saw her mother's chest rise and fall, nothing was easier than to pull the trigger. If she was a monster in her eyes, she would become one in her memory.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH!" was the last thing she heard from him, then her ears were filled with ringing and also pain when her nerves couldn't take it anymore. Everything went dark after a while, she was sure she couldn't breath and her eyes zipped themselves tightly, but even though she lost consciousness, she was sure she never stopped smiling while it lasted.

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He always suspected some part of her story was left out, it would be unwise to tell him everything and she was not stupid. While Kaz did predict that something happened with the mother, he didn't expect this. He answered her eyes as they asked for connection and tried to assure them of his unchanged opinion. So what? He also done horrible things, they all have, especially Rollins. Such a hypocrite, that man. When he finished re-telling the story of Y/N's torture, he retreated from the boy's space, fortunately for him, because Kaz would have no hesitation in twisting Pekka's neck. Everything was silent for a while, the wind whispered cold around them as they all studied each other. Kaz looked at the building's roof next to them, seeing only darkness, but feeling her presence. He hoped that whatever Y/N planned to do with Inej would be useful. And what did he know, maybe this situation is going extremely well for them.

"Well, that is truly shocking, but unfortunetely, Y/N's dead mom won't solve this conflict. So let's solve it ourselves, shall we?" The slaver spoke and grabbed the girl next to him by the bicep, dragging her with him closer to Rollins. Kaz took a small, unnecessary step forward as a move to help her. Seeing Deln's hand on her made the water rise around him, he could feel her discomfort and felt it himself. They stopped and he threw the girl in front of him lightly, so she wouldn't fall, but aggressively enough, so she would sway. "Pay me for the slaves and she's yours, as promised." the boy's fist turned white at that, wishing he could hang Deln's organs at the lamppost. "Hmmm" groaned Rollins in thinking. "How much do ya want?"

"3000 kruge."

"Pardon?"

Deln rolled his eyes. "It was 100 slaves you stole from me, every slave is expensive and believe me, I'm giving you a discount right now." Rollins nodded at his explanation. At this point, Kaz thought about getting out of there. He was being ignored and would be forgotten in a while. Rollins couldn't see him, Deln could, but he doubted he would care. However, she could too, and his heart radiated an unfamiliar feeling at the thought of dissapearing without Y/N. If this situation happened with anyone else, he'd be already at the Slat, drinking shots and drowning in silence of his room. Dirtyhands planned the escape, Kaz refused to go through with it. He refused to leave her. "Alright, alright. How about this." Rollins spoke his thoughts. "I'll give you half of what they make me from now on and if you ever wander in the Sweet Shop, you won't have to pay." Deln was silent, but he was clearly concidering it.

"Huh? Sounds good?" Smiling Pekka streched out his hand and waited for a handshake. Every set of eyes watched Deln's movement, from his step closer, closer to Rollins, closer to Y/N, until he squeezed Pekka's hand, reflecting his expression. "That's a deal, then." said the robber. "Deal." said the slaver. Kaz didn't know what that meant and from the girl's face, he could tell the confusion was shared. Although, he truly realized this wasn't part of their plan after Deln quickly reached for Y/N's belt with the same hand that just closed a deal, pulling out a small gun, one that could barely fit a bullet, and aiming it at the hitman. She was frightened, taking steps back, but she didn't got very far when Deln grabbed her by the collar, holding her close to his body.

"Like mother like daughter."

He was instantly on the move, as fast as he could, trying to prevent what was about to happen. The bullet was faster though. Before hearing the gunshot, they heard Deln's scream. Y/N felt to the ground and Kaz was at her side immediately. His eyes panicking, trying to find the wound while his heart sounded the alarms and awakened fear. Not like this. He couldn't lose her like this. He soon found the gunshot and without thinking threw his hands to press it down. They never made contact with it, Rollins' knife already found its way back to his neck, pulling him away from her. "You didn't think I forgot about you, did ya?" he laughed in his ear before Kaz threw his head back, hitting him in the nose. The grip got loose and he turned around, sending his anger and frustration in his fist. Rollins tumbled and he kicked him on the ground, getting him closer to the place he belongs.

Deln moaned in pain and the boy finally saw the reason. Below his bent over form, a puddle of blood formed and in it swam his thumb, right above Sankt Petyr. The corners of his mouth lifted a bit, he couldn't remember how did he survive all this time without Inej watching over him and the crows, it made him grateful she is back for now. His eyes were set to find Y/N again, but he only saw a red trace from where she laid. She must've gotten away. Good girl.

He couldn't follow her steps, because Rollins already got up from the cobblestones, ready to strike. He breathed heavily, supporting the place Kaz kicked him in with his hand. He couldn't understand why Rollins always came back into his life. He tried to avoid him all his time in Ketterdam, yet life always brought them together. Or death, he wasn't sure, maybe they were destined to destroy each other. Pekka Rollins was like a mosquito bite: itching to be noticed and when Kaz does so, he feels a brief satisfaction before the itch comes back and is worse than before. He was also as annoying. It needed to be finished right here and tonight

The boy braced himself and waited on the mosquito's move, straightening himself. Little did he know, the shadow from above already closed in on the man. Kaz watched as she kicked his knee from the back and caught his hair, stopping him from falling fully on the ground again. Sankta Lizabeta could be soon visible above his heart, the tip waiting to be pushed in. Only then, Dirtyhands quietly sighed in relief.

"He still can't do it without ya, huh? Tell me boy, when will you start being a man and do things on your own?" Rollins mocked them as he recognized the face, which currently held the future of his heartbeat. Kaz limped slowly closer, feeling Inej's eyes on him. He lowered his head once he entered Pekka's personal space dangerously deep. "When my brother will get his revenge in hell."

As soon as the menacing words reached Rollins, his lips twitched up at the sight of Sankta Lizabeta slowly painting an imaginery outline of the man's heart, being applauded by his blood-curling scream. Inej wasn't the one for torture, but he could see the bit of joy in her eyes and the relief on her face. She deserved to be the one that would free Ketterdam from this parasite and he let her have it, already searching for the bloody trail Y/N left behind.

His eyes alerted him when they caught it and he began to follow the path, slowly, limping as Deln's whines cheered him on.

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The stars were with her, sometimes changing their position or widening in her eyes as they waited to claim her. Salty waterdrops tapped her tired legs, reminding her of where she sat. She imagined death many times, it wasn't unusual for someone in her profession. She remembered Tim talking about the peace that comes with it, saying it is kind, so it would be easier for the soul to leave the body. For her, it was obvious. Everything would be kinder than life. However, nothing could prepare her for the last moments. Y/N realized that no matter how much you imagine it, it will always surprise you. The knowing that this is the last time she is going to exist in wasn't something her brain could comprehend. Maybe that was the mystery death held, that was the fuel for the fear in others, not understanding until it was too late.

Wind played softly with her hair while it kissed the bruises of her now untied hands, and she tried hard to feel everything at the same time. The clothes touching her skin, the numbness in her feet, her shaky breath as it entered and left her system, but mostly, she tried to memorize the pain in her stomache and the bullet inside her body. It was an intense feeling, so she wanted to feel it as much as possible, before it would fade and with it her heart.

The hitman got hit.

This is how her victims probably felt. She brought this feeling to numerous lives. Her mother felt this way too. Y/N couldn't decide if dying felt good or disgusting, but she could be certain it was lonely. Even if people surrounded her, it wouldn't be better. It was an experience for her soul, no one from the outside could empathize.

She wondered where her grave would lay as the slow footsteps got closer. Y/N heard him limp next to her and it seemed like the stars noticed him too, because they stopped moving once he sat down, as though they only wanted to be seen by her. He was visibly tired, still bleeding from his neck.

Maybe he was feeling the final presence too.

Maybe her starts would take them both.

Silence and the waves crashing made the space between them comfortable, maybe too comfortable for her liking. His breath was disrupting hers as it naturally tried to match the rhythm. The moment became so peaceful, she almost forgot about their history. It felt like nothing happened between them, they were just kids, sitting by the port, watching stars and listening to the ocean. They weren't Dirtyhands and Saskia. They weren't the Bastard of the Barell and Snowflake.

They were Y/N and Kaz. As they were always meant to be.

"Do you believe in faith?"

It felt like yesterday since he asked her that question. Every shared memory of them felt so close to her now, as if time was all messed up. Maybe death was already doing its job. Kaz was taking his time with the answer, breathing heavily, as if the air had to fill his words first before she could hear them.

"Yes...I do."

He exhaled, his low empty voice responding. Her lips lifted into a messy smile, her muscles were losing their power all over her body, but that didn't stop her from reaching into her coat and pulling out a folded, bloodied paper that her fingers swiftly grabbed from her slaver's back pocket before he could shoot her. It was almost bizzare, how a small, easily rippable piece made her revisit the demons of the past. She wondered if Deln wanted this all along. Maybe he wanted Rollins to kill her, so he could make his deal with him. Or maybe it was just faith, wanting to see how far she would go for a false sense of freedom.

"It doesn't mean anything." Y/N stated as she felt Kaz looking at the release paper. "I just needed proof that I'm not under anyone's influence anymore, but..." her eyes followed the ongoing waves. They looked like on a leash, as if someone released them, so they could explode onto the harbor's walls, only to pull them back again shortly after, reminding them they were still being controlled. It seemed torturous, humiliating. It looked like her. "...I will never be free of him."

Y/N couldn't look at the boy, even if his burning gaze could only be extinguished by an eye contact. He was right, she was a monster. She could see it now and she wouldn't hide from this fact. She would accept herself before her heart would stop singing. It was the least she could do with the very limited time, coming to terms with her own self.

The stars started moving again slowly as Kaz spoke: "He can't control you anymore..." His tone showed certainty. Inej had to claim her souvenir of revenge by now, but he still managed to squeeze out a scoff from the hitman. She couldn't believe he allowed himself to be so naïve. Rainbow won't repair the damage done by storm, same as killing Pekka Rollins won't erase his actions and the following conciquences. His influence made her do things beyond his leadership. It scarred her for life, and those scars bled onto others without the possibility to heal. She bled on him too. She killed his brother for fuck's sake.

"The things he caused precedes him." Y/N finally looked at Kaz, his eyes seemed to be glowing in her hallucinating mind. "I can't be changed." She whispered, knowing he would hear every single letter. The moon illuminated him perfectly. His features casted a soft look under its light and Y/N was glad this would be the appearence of him she would take to her grave. She was happy to become one of the stars that would continue to shine on him.

Suddenly, death seemed very pretty.

The girl saw his hand on hers before she could feel it. It was weirdly warm, even though he barely touched her. His eyes demanded her ears' attention as he spoke, slowly, so she could feel the words. "You don't need to be changed."

Her mind was confused. How could he even speak such things?

"I am a killer." she reminded him.

"Not by choice." he argued.

"I killed my own mother and enjoyed it." she was restless in making him hate her.

"Your mother's conciquences of her own actions." he dodged her attempt.

"I killed your brother." was when she knew she would win. It wasn't excusable. Nothing could possibly erase this from Kaz's mind, no apology was enough, she was certain. That was the reason she couldn't understand why Kaz's hand began to hold hers more tightly as his eyes studied the wound in her stomache, covered by her arm that desperately tried to prevent the blood from pouring out, but it became more and more hopeless. "You're dying and not doing anything about it." he aknowleged. Y/N smiled briefly, from pain and also from his slow understanding of her plan.

"I deserve it." she spoke weakly, every word felt heavy on her tongue and she was about to give in to their weight. He only observed her, as her body was slowly losing the ability to move, as her energy was being sipped by the waves below. It suddenly felt a bit scary for her, she was in the process of dying and it strangely ignited the last bit of her will to live.

Kaz did nothing, he only asked: "Why?" She looked at him, her eyes shooting fear. She guessed she would engage with every emotion before turning off. Maybe the nature granted this privilege to every person, so they would get to have the proper goodbye to their body.

"I never done anything good, I only brought pain." her lips responded, making Kaz nod slowly. Y/N gasped softly as the fear intensified. This feeling was unlike any before, like her life was slowly slipping through her body, through the wound. Her arm pressed tightly, as much as she could to slow down the inevitable, but it was too late. "Maybe it's time to change that." Kaz spoke. She wouldn't be able to change her ways if she died, the only thing she would remember about this life was how she made it difficult for everyone else.

Y/N sighed, death was almost touching her, heart was losing its music. She no longer felt the waterdrops on her legs and the stars dimmed their light. "It's too late."

The port beneath her began to sway, as if it would tip over to the ocean anytime. She gripped the concrete edge, slipping her hand from Kaz's to do so, trying to stop it from moving, only for it to sway more. She picked her eyes up at the sky, seeing only her five stars in the black treacle sky, as her body pushed closer to the waves.

Death awaited her.

Like those waves, Y/N was suddenly pulled back by someone's hands, feeling her body lift up from the port, supported in the air. Her form bounced with every other step and another warm breath kept mixing with hers. She imagined those arms were of an angel, bringing her to heaven. Or a devil, bringing her to hell. She gave into its touch nonetheless.

"I know you're not very good at keeping them, but would you promise me one last thing?" a voice asked her, a low and a tired one. One that could only belong to an angel the way it kept her dying heart beating. The girl could only hum, agreeing to the angel's request. The voice sounded serious, threatening almost, but she could hear the worry hidden behind it, as it spoke.

"Don't make me lose you."

---------------------------------------------------

Nina whined, having trouble with breathing as her hands shook from the need to be put down. She saved the Dregs numerous times from a certain death, yet Y/N exceeded her expectations. The heartender tried her very best to wake her heart up, while Jesper and Wylan panicked to pull out the bullet and seize the wound, so no more blood would be lost. What wasn't helpful, though, was Brekker, constantly yelling at them for trying harder. She understood that his anger was powered by the fear for that girl, but that didn't put out the urge to fill his face with more wounds, maybe a broken nose even.

"I swear, Nina. If she dies.." he exclaimed again, not helping the situation in any way.

"It will be on you!" Nina barked at him, frustration clearly visible not only on her tone, but her tired features. Her eyes shot to Jesper and Wylan an apologizing look as she saw their hands bloodied and faces worried. The door swinged open behind her, revealing Inej. Nina felt relief wash over her as she saw her. Kaz would maybe stop being such an asshole in her presence.

"Is she breathing?" Inej asked and immediately moved to Y/N's lying form, putting her cheek above her nose. "Barely." Wylan answered stressfully. Kaz's worry shifted to fear, Nina could sense that, even when her full focus was on the hitman's weak heart. She was barely alive, but the heartender was still surprised it could beat. She was strong and Nina hoped she would continue to fight.

Jesper gasped heavily and looked at her. "The wound's sealed!" he sounded so hopeful and it brought Nina some strenght to see him like this. She had to take quick breaths before tightening her hands in the air one more time, fastening Y/N's heartbeat. Fortunetely, it worked. "She's breathing again!" Inej said with a small smile, causing Kaz to limp closer to see for himself. His own wounds weren't yet treated, but Nina didn't even try to convince him. He had trouble looking after himself when one of them was hurt, she could imagine how much worse it was in this case, where his heartbeat's fire was on the brink of death.

She could feel the heartbeat pick up to a slow pace. It wasn't yet normal, but at least she didn't have to control it now. Nina put her hands down and fell down on an armchair beside her. Everyone in the room fell victims to exhaustion, Nina closed her eyes for a moment, just focusing on her breathing. Wylan was the first to stand up and slowly make his way out of the room with the words she'll be alright, Nina, you did a great job. Jesper followed, squeezing Nina's shoulder and nodding shortly at Kaz, before the door closed after him too.

"You either let me treat your wounds or you will go and get some sleep." she offered to the man, her eyes fixated on Y/N. She was glad he, at least, wrapped his neck in a bandage during this hard time, but he had other quite serious wounds she had to treat sooner or later. Kaz allowed himself to be predictable as he stared at the hitman and then slowly limped out of the room. Before he did though, he surprised her after all.

"Thank you."

Nina's head snapped his way and watched him leave, she didn't expect that. Inej sat next to her on the armrest, following her eyes to the laying girl. "You should rest as well, I know how tired you are." the heartender studied her features with a caring look. Her friend fought the sleep well so far, which she hated to see. "I'm not leaving you alone." the spider said with a decisive eyes connecting with hers. She knew the heartender couldn't sleep herself, as she had to look out for Y/N's heart. Nina flashed a defeated smile. She was grateful for her presence, she missed her a lot, but it would ease her mind if she went to sleep. However, knowing her stubborn mind, she scooted over to the very side, creating a tiny space for Inej to sit, which her friend accepted with a smile.

"Alright then. Tell me how you killed Rollins and DON'T spare any details."

------------------------------------------------

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bella-rose29 · 9 months ago

Text

episode 2 commentary - Let Go of Me

major spoilers for show and books, swearing, me obsessing over lockwood's hands probably (edit: definitely, and George's)

why did I immediately think jellyfish

omg the flowers

Luce you really shouldn't have taken that

just like @demigoddess-of-ghosts said, why tf are deprac asking if there's anyone else there when Lucy is quite literally screaming 'lockwood'

"miss lockwood" and "lockwood's my partner" 🤭

"we called your mother" ok well her mother is a Bitch so that wasn't a good idea

"rest up until he's given you the all-clear" like fuck she's gonna do that

omg the flowers!!!

ooo spooky green lighting

omg the ghost lock victims ward 🥲

I would love to know what they were planning on doing with this scene actually bc I feel like it sets up some sort of ghost lock victim storyline for the future - maybe using them for science? idk I'd just love to know

oof lockwood's hands

just this whole scene of lockwood

hands

barnes is not fucking around lol

HANDS

the way he sits back in the chair has me WEAK

THE JAW MOVEMENT

can you tell I'm going feral

George's lil run omg

George is so neurospicy I love it

George your posture needs sorting out my love 😭

"You're meant to say no, Lucy" well it's difficult to say no to lockwood when he looks at you with his beautiful eyes and smile and-

"I'd say like a house on fire" 😭

my poor baby looks so tired :( and he definitely needs a shower oh dear

I didn't think I would hear lockwood with his queen's English call someone 'mate'

I love that George just says straight up facts

"posh one who thinks he's god's gift" sounds about right

"his weird mate with zero social skills" also sounds about right

I love that they included the tapes for norrie bc actually it's a great way of adding to the narrative (bc we don't have any voice overs) and we get lucy's view on stuff

and we see her survivor's guilt too - "like how I should have helped you" omg 🥲 (excuse me while I go cry in a corner)

ruby stokes the woman you are

"no it doesn't, it looks like I cooked it in an active volcano" pfffft George I love you

"Andrew lockwood"

"girls are funny about baths" he's trying goddammit

HIS SMILE

"she's not unhinged" "you're hardly the best judge of these things" "you need normal people around you" "you really think you're normal?" your honour I love their friendship

"the world's mad, and normal never fixed anything" gonna make it my motto

"let me... sleep on it" BOY YOU DON'T EVER SLEEP

oh Luce

okay but these special effects are so fucking cool

hang on why the hell did Lucy go to sleep holding the ring

Jesus Christ that scared the shit out of me

ooo green lighting!!!

pfft goes to hold his hand to wake him up

HIS FACE WHEN HE WAKES UP OMG 😭😂

also: NECK and THE FACT HE SLEEPS WITHOUT A SHIRT

I love the disgruntlement of george

WHITE T-SHIRT LOCKWOOD

"trousers are for wimps" ICONIC

omg I love that we get to see George's Touch!!! also his hand??? brb gonna go melt

LOCKWOOD'S HANDS AND FOREARMS WITH THE CHAINS

FOREARMS

omg Georgie it's not a wasp I'm sorry

ARMS

I am dying how the hell did Ali manage to make his voice say "oh shit" like that

LOCKWOOD HAS A RAPIER I'm gonna faint

"I can't believe you stole a Source" GEORGE YOU ARE ONE TO TALK

yeah Luce call him out

"we need to destroy her source and move on. let her go" I have so much to say about this omgggg bc on the one hand the episode is called Let Go of Me and rn I'm 1/3 of the way through this episode and they've repeated those words in different ways so many times it's unreal. and then on the other hand (spoilers for the books) there's the way that Lockwood isn't doing this himself, because he hasn't destroyed the source in his house and let his own ghosts go 😭

omg George loves an experiment you can hear the joy in his voice

NOT THE WAY HE PHYSICALLY MOVES TO PROVE HE'S ON LUCY'S SIDE omg they're becoming friends even if they don't know it yet

ARMS

OH LORD THE HOODIE??? I wanna steal it

NOT THE WAY HE HANDS HER THE RING AND LETS HIS TOUCH LINGER AND LUCY DOES THE SAME OMGGGG

THEY LITERALLY JUST STROKE EACH OTHER'S HANDS I CAN'T TAKE THIS

his smile omg

ruby stokes the woman you are omg

lockwood's face omg he's so conflicted bc on the one hand he's worried but on the other he's trying to not say yes when she goes 'you love me don't you?'

lockwood immediately pushing her aside

HANDS

lockwood you need to stop taking sole responsibility for things

the sadness in his voice when he says 'this place is all that's left of my parents' omg

"Jesus, lockwood, we're screwed!" yep (also the way George says it is so funny help)

HANDS AND RING

barnes isn't taking any shit omg

such an ominous phone call

George's prison outfit (I can't remember who called it that)

omg I want lucy's playsuit

PINK SOCKS

also lockwood get your shoes off the table you heathen

no bc I actually want her playsuit

HANDS

HANDS AND RING AAAAA

HANDSSSSS

"not a braying gallery for bellends" George I love you

BOBBY!!!

Lucy going straight in with the hard facts I love her

omg the scoff

THE SIDE PROFILE OF LOCKWOOD IS KILLING ME

kipps is such an arse

THE STANCE HE TAKES WITH THE SPARE HAND AND UGH

AND YOU NEED A LADDER

the way he says "yes you do" has me in a chokehold

the sMIRK

"irrelevant prick" love it

when the mutual friend leaves and you're left with the one you don't get on with

George you might be a weirdo but I love you for it

Lucy getting the juicy gossip and immediately becoming besties with george

ok well your mum is a bitch

oh lockwood wtf are you doing

"he's a little shit sir"

lockwood why

he looks so proud of himself I can't help it

"you're our biggest asset" oh boy

the regret on his face oops

"my judgement's been a little off recently" yeah bc you just met the love of your life

ok but women with swords 👀 bonus points if they're angry

HANDS

pink socks again

barnes once again not taking shit

she is a child sir you can't just spring that on her

omg Lucy :((((((

"let me go" - is that another reference to the episode title I see?

"lockwood's a charlatan" pfft

DONT YOU TALK ABOUT MY LOCKWOOD LIKE THAT

"they always make the most boring, unimaginative moves possible, don't they" - it's giving Cameron saying that everything is basic

lockwood read the room (cab)

"You were brilliant" boy's in love

"can we talk about this in the car" *taxi drives away*

"you might be able to turn your feelings on and off like a tap, but I am drowning here, lockwood" 😭

"You know sometimes I just... I just think I'd be better off dead" oh Luce 😢

also lockwood's reaction to that omg he pauses for a while and is all glassy eyed and then: "I understand that"

never mind them I am drowning here (in my tears)

"We need you, and it's not because you're an asset" "why then?" "because... because you're..." *looks away and clenches jaw* "Lucy Carlyle" *smiles really widely (I feel like he was considering telling her his feelings)

"we can't let you go" ANOTHER REFERENCE TO THE EPISODE TITLE

"that's why I went on tv, silly" WHERE IS MY BUCKET??? I DONT KNOW WHY HIM SAYING 'SILLY' LIKE THAT PAIRED WITH HOW HE WALKS TOWARDS HER MEANS I NEED MY BUCKET BUT I HAD TO PAUSE THE EPISODE TO MELT A LITTLE

"We're lockwood and co. you, me, and George" FUCK YEAH YOU ARE

"please stay" 🥺 (anything for you my love)

"so you'd look cool" lol

greeeeeeen

"you're more of a liability than an asset, Lucy" HE SAYS WHILE LOOKING AT HER WITH HEART EYES

oh Georgie

OMG HE HAS A PLATE OF BISCUITS AND A TINY GLASS OF MILK

GEORGIEEEE NO DONT YOU HURT MY BOY

green lighting!!!

"I'll take him" says boy with immense confidence

"can I offer you a cup of tea while you ransack my house? one lump or two" *throws torch and misses*

HNNNNNNNN THE NOISE I MADE WHEN HE DOES THE RAPIER THINGY AND GETS INTO HIS STANCE AND TWIRLS THE RAPIER AND PUTS HIS HAND UP

AND THEN WHEN HE DODGES THE TORCH??????? SIR WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO BE THAT FINE DODGING A FUCKING TORCH?????

oh my god the still I paused it on to write the above comment is gonna make me pee myself with laughter 😭😂 I wish I could screenshot to show everyone

ooo I might be completely delusional but Lucy smashes the mirror with her elbow in this scene (and the camera pauses on it for a good couple of seconds) and then plays a part in smashing the bone glass later on??? am I delusional or am I making connections???

Georgie omg

LUCY PICKING UP HIS GLASSES!!! I love this omg I would be lost without mine

HEHEHE STAB THAT INTRUDER

fuck me that neck crack was hot (also could lockwood fuck me please?)

green lighting!!!

also how did I never notice the stairs were spirally?

George you are so funny and I love you

I AM SORRY. WHAT. EVERYONE GO WATCH THIS FIGHT SCENE AND STUDY THE WAY LOCKWOOD FIGHTS/MOVES THE RAPIER IN HIS HAND BECAUSE- I need my bucket holy shit

George hauling those chains around like it's nothing 👀

green lighting!!!

yeah you better run bitch

"we should have people round more often" lolllllll

lockwood can kick me-

"why are you making that face?"

"that's not your normal face, that's your 'I know something you don't' face"

sweaty lockwood

George's face when she pulls the ring out is so funny to me 😂

"you lunatic" *lockwood grinning widely* I love their reactions

aww let Georgie swear :(

#belle's episode commentaries #lockwood and co #lockwood & co #anthony lockwood #lucy carlyle #george karim/george cubbins #montague barnes #wade

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sheinthatfandom · 3 months ago

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Ohhhhh I love oranges intro video thing with the ufo or whatever

They probably couldn’t get the rights to the tardís lol

Oh he’s in black

Ohhhh okada joined in that explains why he didn’t have a match tonight

And taz is back on commentary so here’s hoping maybe maybe we get Nigel 🤞

Awww I forgot okada and orange were friends yeah in chaos

Ahhhhh the smile dropped okada ready to knock orange out

Okada made his flip slow to time it perfectly with orange and like holy shit he’s so fucking good

Wait I know that music wait is it Nigel?

IT IS!!!!!!!

ITS NIGEL!!!!!

OMG OMG OMG

OKAY I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO TYPE THIS MATCH

omg he looks so good

Omg why am I crying

Omg the entire crowd on their feet chanting for Nigel omg

Im sobbing!!!!

I wanted him to have this moment with Bryan but im just so happy he had the moment

Nigel vs okada and it’s ge just omg!!!!

Kyle o’ Reilly!!

Im sorry im still crying over Nigel

Nigel’s in the ring with some of the best just omg I love this for him

Just guys who all use Nigel’s moves or have modified his moves like im do fucking happy for everyone

ZACK SABRE JR!!!!

MY HUSBAND BDAY TWIN G1 CHAMPION AND NOW IM ABOUT TO HAVE THE BEST LITTLE SOY BOY IN THE RING WITH NIGEL!!!!!

after everything with Bryan and Zack proving himself as the best technical wrestler of the world now he’s going head to head with the longest reigning Pure champ ever

Okada having fun on the big stage

Roddy…. Kind of a let down after Nigel and Zack

Awwww mark!!!!!!

The little shuffle down the ramp yes please mark no pulling an Adam Cole

CONGLOMERATION WORKING TOGETHER!!!

Hangy oh yeah I guess he’s winning then

Nigel on the floor posed like Jeff goldblum

Noooo hangy not Nigel!!!!

Oh no Jeff Jarrett

Well now hangy can focus on Jeff hopefully long enough for Nigel to pin Roddy

Hangy going after a woman…. I mean I’m not gonna judge him since it’s Karen

RICHOCHET!!!!

Oh shit well guess he’s winning then

Flippy boy flippy boy!!!!

I really did want in new Japan first just to like get the fed rust off him but he’s looking good

Somebody better pin somebody

How… how? Christian was murdered earlier tf lol

He’s hobbling

Richochet said I know you eat boot!!!!

Hangy pinned richochet okada stepped on hangers head no respect for the cowboy

God I want okada va hanger so fucking badly I know I KNOW it’s hanger vs swerve but you know hanger vs okada will be a fucking banger!!

Come on Zack your the g1 winner okada is has been spoiled by elite

Come on Nigel come on Nigel

TOWER OF LONDON!!!!

Oh fuck the 3 count was broken

Ummm luchasaurus no more killswitch?

YES KILL HIM KILL HIM

OH FUCK! That ruined the match for me I wanted Nigel assumed hanger expected richochet

#aew #aew lb #aew all in

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soulhavens · 1 year ago

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my running list of wallaru thoughts (plus one or two headcanons)

the trauma from sybil's speech ))):

the wallaru zeke quest i midnight oil - a slurry of plant-life and dream water, used in place of coffee.... the YW definitely is the Midnight Oil addict (caffeine addict yknow??) - they run on stress and Midnight Oil lol

i hate the sounds that the dingos make when we defeat them ):

Krokodile dundara tries to fight his own battles but the YW steps in... dundara kinda reminds me of moo bo (moo bu?) in that he comments on the wiz's uhhh.... battle-readiness

anyway it seems like the wiz has some pent up aggression that they're looking to burn off with battles

the kangaroo bushwhackers comment on how the YW takes their battle v seriously.... so no holding back on the YW's part

I think it'd be cool if we get to see our companions do some of the mob fights?

the bushwhackers are unionized!!

Fallen Arachna Empire... WHAT. "Great Prince"???? oh no

lol spiders of the multiverse. i see you KI, i see you

how did i know it was a con

fghjkkjdhg the loading screen for Rest by the Fire

daseinnnnnnnnnnn D:< i miss you

did we just get a cut scene for a cannonball-ed emu?

are we about to re-enact the emu wars LMAO

phett and cadd - i see you KI, i see you

when we're destroying the emu cannons... we're walking along quite a thin ledge. i bet the yw isnt in a great headspace here for a number of reasons

did we just get called out for being isekai-ed into the spiral???

i bet the outback makes the yw feel nostalgic for the aero plains (god i miss the aero plains..)

dasein )): "It is you! the real you" im gonna cry

aaaahhhhh "and what are my dreams, my unrealized reals?" "I want to be Something. I want to be good. I want to belong (everywhere)"

has the wallaru loading screen been changing as we go through the world? like it was just the poster and now its the poster with "ned collie was right" and i think thats super fucking cool

in hindsight it's probably cued into which area you're loading.... but it gives the effect of "its evolving as you play thru wallaru" which i like

the yw keeps nodding off and having dasein dreams, which makes me think that during this world the yw is just chronically running on a lack of Good sleep, yknow?

something about judge judi is throwing me off. i dont like her.

VEG???? not you ):<

wait actually? maybe not so bad....

who tf is the prince theyre talking about. i s2g.

oh goodie. corrupt government. didnt see that coming.

patrick warburton??? (no, unfortunately)

fought the law and won..... what an interesting badge. the yw is collecting so much trauma (:

bonesbury rules of magical combat?? (ok i know this is a play on john locke... but im intrigued by there being various sets of magical combat rules)

i love morp

oh god wait are we about to get into some matrix plots? yknow. cos morpheus?

"Even way out here we've heard of the one who walked the Reverie" i think its interesting that diff NPCs know the YW for diff reasons which is cool

"can't let anyone around the barrier with corrupted influences about" but we are child of light and shadow, divine paradox, touched by shadow.... hmm

me, staring at the magistreto, squinting: "...maestro? master? professor hex? the professor? is this another dr who reference??"

i like how small we are in the eucalyptus forest

dont mind me side-eyeing sandiago

did..... did we just watch an NPC get vored? oop no theyre alive

it amuses me so much that phasmanian devils can do the apollo spell (and it amuses me still that hes a chicken because apollo. a pollo. hah!) - also... thinking about how spells work again, especially when theyre based on an in-game character/npc/boss you fight... (coughcough the morganthe spells)

i am going to slap these judges and also these gold class guests

dasein stop breaking my heart ))):

"But you can brainwrite yourself. Just jump in the lake. See the scaries what haunt them when the sand hits their eyes." - oh boy... the YW is def not in a great headspace and everyone else can tell

okay so the dialogue box says "Sandiago camel" and "old one camel" but the mob title is "Feral camel" lol? wait wait wait old one??

hey sandiago im getting a bad feeling about you and morp too (rip me from approximately 13 notes ago)

"The Dreamer has only ever been seen by Wallu. Imagine what it could create if fueled by diverse experience?" oh no i'm getting a bad feeling about this

Freddie Croaker says to tell Judge Veg he says hi, but it doesn't seem like we as the YW do that? (at least not in the dialogue immediately following the instance..)

welp. morp.

"They built the Great Barrier because strangers came here, right up to the Dreamer itself, and made something horrible. An engine of evil it was, that could reshape the Spiral. Even the Great Tree could not perceive it. We could not allow such a creation." Oh no oh no oh no... i'm getting bad feelings b/c dasein... and the yw... and the old one..

"then we enter the dreaming to.." sandiago.... why are you trying to access the dreaming? and with morp continually being like "i feel like i know you" hmmmmm

its fucked up that you fight hostages but also i like the mechanics. i know that damaging the hostages is like breaking the aura on them which is like the ropes, but wouldn't it fucked up if you actually had to damage the hostages to release them

god these judges are sooooooo annoying

"Ten, nine, the Spiral hates Dasein" KI ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME SOB

"in these waves which are not water swim the thoughts which yearn to be real" i am sensing a major potential for YW angst right here

avatars of avarice... are we about to get into layers of hell/seven deadly sins or something?

sandiago was the one who guided the old one to wallaru... interesting........ ohhhhhh he was a founer of the cabal. wild.

i'd need to go back and do mirage since i dont really have an opinion on sandiago.... but more yw angst potential (:< this time with Betrayal

"This sapce is special. Its waters are not entirely real, thus not visible to Bartleby - a blindspot in reality." interesting piece of lore that i need to think about

oh are we finally cashing in on freddie kroaker's "say hi to judge veg for me"? nice

so far i do like the theme of "you can have done some Not Great Things in the past and still grow and change and learn"

ok wait judge veg's "I was always a fighter, a weapon to be aimed. First against the outlaws of Wallaru, then against unhealthy diets, then the Spiral itself. I don't know what to do after this." jdgkl;akdjfksoa;dkfja;dkf im - I think veg and the YW would reallly relate to the "a weapon to be aimed" line

"...because I'm a bad guy" not a big fan of this line, or of freddie kroaker in general..

freddie's plan was to remake a toxic, juggernaut crab..

the dreamer is bartleby but like different? hm "from his unconsciousness imaginings come new realities' idk how to feel about that

we get to connect dasein to the dreamer though <3

"Wizard, you are real. and so is he." ajdgkls;ajdka dasein and the yw real <3

"What are you doing here?" "We're here for you, to help you figure out where you belong" omgomgomgomgomg

dasein my beloved

"Was [our Walkabout] all you had hoped, Wizard? You did not face your demons, nor realize your truth as we all did." [insert YW's assumed dialogue here] "Haha, indeed, well said my friend. Your truth is to help others, as you demonstrated countless times in our journey. Your walk was for your friend after all." - I'm unsure about how I feel about this line too - in some sense I was hoping the YW would get more of their own conclusion, although i understand thats not possible with the way the wiz protagonist works

#wallaru spoilers #w101 #wizard101 #m #comments from sol #wallaru

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caliburn-the-sword · 1 year ago

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final cress thoughts!!!!

i absolutely inhaled that book holy shit lol. got winter at the bookstore today because shipment just arrived and i gotta say it's HELLA chonky. i am EXCITED. of course fairest will have to come first

since the plan has been explained to us the readers, that means it's DEFO gonna go wrong (note: it did - sybil ambushed them)

god why is cress married to everyone. first thorne now wolf

rolling my eyes sighing bile is rising in my throat. i CANNOT take this alpha nonsense. admittedly when cress says it in a brightest star of a constellation way, that's cute. unfortunately the omegaverse connotations cancels it out completely

OMG CINDER AND KAI FINALLY. I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR SO LONG. rip to everyone that was reading these as they came out because i can't imagine how PAINFUL it would have been to wait two years for them to see each other again as opposed to me just binging the books across like 3 weeks max by the time i finish the series

respect for torin holy shit that must have been SUCH a hard choice for him to make to not only let the prince go but to reveal his tracker chip

NO ERLAND IS NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE LETUMOSIS AND HE'S NOT ALLOWED TO DIE AND HE HAS TO REUNITE WITH CRESS. CRESS NEEDS TO KNOW. I AM LITERALLY IN STUDIES OF RELIGION CLASS RN I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS PAIN

I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT THE PLAGUE IS BIOWARFARE. i'm a genius. but the mutated strain was just genuinely a coincidence judging by levana's reaction LMAO

was absolutely baffled why tf thorne was kissing cress before i remembered the promise he made. i feel sickly and nauseous. get off that minor rn

as much as i hate thorne. gotta admit that the shooting scene was badass

YES SYBIL TAKE THAT, BITCH

wonder who the queen is married to

i respect every ounce of rebellion in erland's bones. yeah piss off the queen!!

grossed out by cress and thorne some more. please man keep pushing her away. literally his responsibility as an adult. ew

holy shit scarlet actually lost her finger

it's nice to properly meet winter

something very strange seems to be going on with winter. master and pet lunar stuff?? weird af. wants to be besties?? girl are you even understanding the situation?? also has she never met a ranga before??? is she HIGH????? and what's with the role playing games??? she's somehow more delulu than cress, acts even YOUNGER than her actual age than cress does

winter seems to THINK that she was friends with cinder. interesting. once again i want cinder to get her memories of pre-fire back real bad

winter is a SIMP for jacin

OH I'M SO DUMB HOW DIDN'T I REALISE THAT SHE WOULD BE DELULU BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T USE HER GLAMOUR. respect for winter has increased. this means that ALL the time scarlet spent thinking about how beautiful winter is was the truth LMAO. gay gay homosexual gay. is it too much to hope for a polycule?? they'd literally be like parks and rec. "i'm wolf andthis is my gf scarlet, this is her gf winter, this is winter's bf jaycin".

ofc a lake on the moon is gonna be called artemisia lake LOL. now we've had one moon titan and one moon goddess reference. chang'e when????

NOT FARAFRAH. i bet you all found it downright HILARIOUS when i went on about how much i love farafrah back in one of the other posts

ngl think it's too early for cinder and kai to be eating each other's faces. kai got over his issues REAL fast lol. idk how i feel about it but willing to see where winter takes us

i didn't even think of the implication because i don't consider kai and levana legitimately engaged so i find it HILARIOUS that the silly family tree of kai being engaged to one woman and then making out with her niece. reminds me of ouat

revolutionary cinder ftw

speculation for fairest:

i did the maths and realised that since levana is like 30 and cinder is 16 then she was about 17 years old when she decided that cinder just had to go. I'M 17. cannot imagine killing a 3 year old. cray z. and then she was even YOUNGER than that when she killed her sister for the throne. ALSO insane. that will be one deeply disturbed mind to dive into in fairest

read the blurb and don't exactly have anymore thoughts other than trying to figure out who the in universe equivalent to her REAL husband would be since we're defo getting backstory on that. since she's the evil queen then it must be winter's father "the good king", however because of the blurb i reckon it's some kind of "mirror mirror on the wall" figure. idk what exactly that would entail. some kind of royal adviser???

speculation for winter, because i don't want to forget everything i'm thinking by the time i'm done reading fairest:

mother reveal for cress - i don't remember if any lunar scientists have been mentioned or named yet, but i WILL be keeping an eye out. i suspect someone who has something to do with the wolf soldier hybrids, she might even know wolf. regardless hope the bitch dies

father reveal for cinder

from the way jacin calls garan linh's device an equaliser, it's DEFINITELY gonna be reproduced in this book, ESPECIALLY with winter going all delulu, and the way cinder is concerned about becoming like levana

jacin pov chapters now that miss marissa doesn't have to make his motivations and loyalties ambiguous

ngl i HATE prequels, ESPECIALLY when they're about the villain of the story, and i often skip them. i'm a bit apprehensive about going into fairest, but i want to have the proper reading experience of tlc, and it's important to the story. putting my personal feelings aside and hoping for the best!!

@eddisfargo @francforever @winterrhayle @winterpinetrees @shellyseashell

#the lunar chronicles #tlc #cinder linh #marissa meyer #carswell thorne #emperor kai #crescent moon #tlc cress #scarlet benoit #ze'ev kesley #tlc wolf #winter blackburn #jacin clay

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nautilus-that-eats-hyacinths · 1 year ago

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hate the new dashboard so much aaaaaaa

but this isn't what this post is about. this is another one of my rant about myself, my life and society posts that I could only post on Tumblr cause I'm deadly scared people will judge me for how I feel, or just no one will relate to me but here it goes.

so I'm a teen girl (?) right, and I have a loving and caring boyfriend who loves me for all I am, and I have been (dated and kissed and stuff TM) with other people, but I just feel so fucking undesirable. Like. All the time. I'll look at myself in the mirror maybe twice a week and go huh wow I look hot/cute! And all the bathrooms I use have unavoidable mirrors so...

But the thing is, I have kinda always felt like this? Like obviously not always, I was indeed a baby once but I feel like ever since I've realized I am "a woman" (probably around like 6yo), or that I was supposed to be a woman someday, I feel like I've had this need to feel desirable. Maybe it's like trauma from my parents being kinda distant, but I remember so so clearly feeling like I wanted to be pretty to school cause I wanted boys to like me, that I had to use my cutest clothes when we got to not wear uniform (non-USAmerican here amen), that my friends were always cuter than me. And like, I didn't- still don't- want to date many people, or want to have sex with many people or even kiss many people, I'm literally demisexual, but I just have this need for people to want me. Not to have like my love corresponded, or even my attraction corresponded, like one way want towards me.

And like this feels so mean? Like I want people to like me but I won't like them back. Like bro tf???? Why do you want to hurt people like that??? But also it's not about them, like, it's not gonna happen, I have never had many people falling for me and wanting me, so I'm not actually gonna hurt someone, but I kinda feel like a monster for like indirectly wanting to hurt people

Also this really sucks cause my friends are so desirable. Like they have more developed bodies (I look like 3 years younger than I am- and this leads to another topic that I could only debate on Tumblr so I might make a post about it lol), or at least are more extroverted and easy to approach/befriend, or are cuter and like. This is the stupidest shit but I feel like I'm the ugly one- I'm not even ugly, people have liked me, my bf says my body is perfect for him, and still, I don't get people wanting to kiss me at parties, I don't get people asking my friends if I'm single, or if I might open my relationship, I don't get people asking my friends for my number, I don't get people telling their friends that I'm hot (my school is pretty small/connected so we kinda do hear everything one way or another) and all my friends get this and it is absolutely stupid, and I know I'm just being an overly emotional teen but fuck, it hurts

And maybe this is all because I am clearly dating and like the whole school knows at this point, so no one would approach someone so obviously unattainable, but also, maybe, from the depths of my low self esteem, maybe I am just that undesirable that all my friends are so wanted by so many people and I get maybe one person a year maximum who is interested in me

And like I'd like to talk to my boyfriend about this cause yk, he's my best friend, I like talking to him and being comforted and feeling safe and letting go of my insecurities a bit by wording them and sharing them, but I'm scared that he's gonna think it's his fault somehow or that he's not enough when he literally could never be enough for this stupid irrational need because I want many people to be attracted to me and desire me and he's literally just one person like babe, you can't do mitosis sweetheart.

And I think maybe this comes from learning (internalizing but not rationalizing) as a young kid that what gives power to a woman is her influence, and women are given influence most often (not by their fault, obvs) by how attractive they are. Or maybe this is just bs and it's inherent to my messed up brain. Or it has a different societal cause that I haven't stopped to think about or process yet

#thanks for reading guys!!!#this was a long one lol #rant post #own post #femininity #personal #self immage #self esteem #attraction

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master-tonberry · 2 years ago

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I can't believe you're a Chrono fan, too! //sobs// Do you have a fave character from them? Frog is my fave from Trigger, and in Cross, I'm incapable of playing any track that doesn't feature Razzly. She's my bae, but then again, so is Harle.

In a million years, I don't think I would have expected anyone to answer "corvid" to my animal question. I LOVE it!

I also love your little dream farm. I will stop by it and buy a few candles for my treehouse, too, because that's also where I live. I think between the Ewoks, Lothlórien elves, and Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves treehouse setup, I was destined to live amongst the trees. Please put lots of peppermint in my soaps and candles though so I can keep the spiders away. I hate spiders. :(

The Shoot Out styling was IN-SANE, agree.

GRAY HAIR WONNIE IS MY FAVE, TOO, followed closely by long black hair Wonnie. <3

Of all the boys, I think Jooheon pulls of blonde the best, yes. But I have to tell you that I am very angry with this image of him you shared because a boy in a white tee and jeans is probably my greatest weakness, and then you had to up the ante with a full-blown dimples smile, too? Are you *trying* to kill me, friendo?

Okay, so, I'm in a weird mood and feel like lobbing another bizarre hypothetical at you, so good luck with this unhinged reality...

You and Hyungwon are planning a heist. Help me fill in the blanks.

What are you robbing: a museum, a jewelry store, a billionaire's house, a Fortune 500 company?

Why: money, rebellion, vengeance, justice?

You need one other member on your team. Who do you pick from Monsta X and why?

Are you the inside man, the getaway driver, or the distraction?

Leading up to the big day, your nerves are getting the better of you. How do you show it?

After the heist, you get the hell outta Dodge. Where in the world do you hide out? Do you and your team stay together or do you all go your separate ways?

What do you do with your loot once you know you've gotten away scot-free?

Told you, weird mood. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Hope you had a killer weekend!

xoxo mbb secret santa <3

Hello friend!! It's been kind of a rough week for me, so I'm glad to hear from you. Your asks always make me smile ❤️

Okay, listen. Don't judge me, but way back when I first played Chrono Cross, for some reason I shipped Karsh and Norris like it was my JOB?? So I'm very partial to them, but I also love Harle and Riddel too. Razzly is SO GOOD, you are 100% correct to pick her.

Also I'm sorry about that Jooheon pic, let me make it up to you with another one haaaahahahahaha ❤️❤️

Okay, on to the hypothetical!

So we're definitely robbing a billionaire's house and it's to recover gems that were stolen and sold to the billionaire on the black market. Who were they stolen from? I don't know, pick your favorite! I'm partial to "they were stolen from colonized people and we're like fucking Robin Hood, here to take them back".

It's gonna be me, Hyungwon, and Changkyun (because he knows how to keep quiet and its basically impossible to shake him). I'm the planner/inside man - the billionaire hired me six months ago as a personal secretary and I've been scoping the place out, making plans, and recruiting. Changkyun is our distraction because I think he can keep a straight face while he pretends to be an investor in some scheme the billionaire has going on. Hyungwon is going to help me execute the heist and then get us tf out of there.

I tend to get short tempered when I'm nervous, so I can definitely see picking a fight with Changkyun because I don't think he'd put up with me lol. Hyungwon would have to play peace keeper for sure.

But of course we'd pull it off and then head up to a cabin I had conveniently purchased at least two years prior to the heist (in anticipation of needing a hideout but also just bc I love a nice quiet cabin up in the mountains) and hide out for a while. The place would be close enough to a small town that I could get supplies, and the town would be small enough that the people there wouldn't trust any outsiders that came around (especially since I already got in good with them when I bought the cabin) so we'd wait for the heat to die down and then quietly return the jewels to their rightful owners. Who, you know, aren't obligated to give us a reward but they would anyway. Happy ending!

Hope you had a great day today! I can't wait for your next ask! 😊

#mbb secret santa

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augustameretrix · 1 year ago

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last entry on my thread on gwitch season 2! as I said, following bandais shitty apology after the ace gundam debacle I will suspend any and all criticism of sulemio and hype them up as obnoxiously as i possibly can. I’m gonna put everything under the cut because I ended up having many thoughts.

the short of it is that im glad i rewatched gwitch with an impartial judge, that is my almost 60 yo dad who likes sci-fi and doesn’t watch anime. we agreed on many of the criticisms but disagreed on many of the praises, which was interesting and instructive. most of all, I got a better appreciation for both the good and the bad of gwitch, and settled on “definitely good and forever iconic but very frustrating”. in conclusion, I love gwitch and am currently obsessed. enough of this for a while.

first off, the bad

im thoroughly mixed on both 23 and 24 for two main reasons: one, the char’s/prospera’s arc has nothing to do with the benerit/earth plot, thematically speaking, meaning the epic final battle at quiet zero isn’t a climax for the whole series. two, presumably aware of this, the writers inserted benerit and the space assembly league via the humongous space laser that is usually reserved for 2-3 episodes in the middle of a gundam series and which here serves as the final final battle instead. maybe if the league had been a more significant presence throughout the series... who knows!

another problem I have is with the jeturks’ drama being placed in the second to last episode of the entire series. I could see a place for it in the fourth or third to last episode at best if it even provided a decent conclusion for guel’s arc instead of being an ad for the schwarzette model kit. sure guel HAS taken it upon himself and himself alone to carry on the family business without involving his less competent overall adopted younger brother (and also killed their dad, whatever), but is that really THE thing with his character? was anyone seriously worried he would be so callous as to really kill his brother or even let him kill himself with permet? I thought his arc was about being humbled, recognizing his and his father’s shortcomings and so on, and not not paying enough attention to lauda (ffs...). how can this be about lauda lets be serious rn.

speaking of the jeturk, the politics in this second half of gwitch are kinda shit. lol. why tf is guel trying to rebuild the company miorine had to sell because it was objectively bad for the people of earth (she learned about the laser AFTER the deal with shaddiq) portrayed as funny. jesus christ.

moving on, I get witches like el4n and sophie lingering in the data storm since they’ve intermingled with it by extensively piloting gundams, but what about professor cardo and nyla? is proximity to any form of gund format sufficient? ngl I didn’t fully grasp the mechanics of data storm haunting.

finally, while it does make sense in universe for shaddiq and nika to get the short end of the stick for the events of gwitch even though the class war obviously didn’t start with them, because they’re out-and-proud earthians who did some crimes which they confessed to, and delling & cathedra & dominicus and all the other spacians in positions of power minus the peil hags and, hell, even prospera remain fully unpunished, as they’re, well, spacians in positions of power, I don’t know if the finale properly conveyed that that’s what happened. the fact that shaddiq’s shown as self-sacrificing because of his conscience, and that nika announces that she has to pay her dues before she can get on with her life might make one believe its just a question of justice, while in fact justice has not been served at all.

now onto the things I did like

aliyah gets the funniest joke in the entire series, yes, possibly better than suletta forgetta.

prospera is insanely hot as always, even when she’s about to cry or upset because her wimpy kohai is shooting at her or her soon-to-be daughter-in-law is being kinda sassy; plus I love this perspective on her relationship to suletta that comes up in ep 22, which is reinforced by suletta’s motivational speech to her mom in ep 24. its not healthy but thats how it is with these two, and i like it. very mother and daughter. in the end it kinda feels like the only reason she gets to spend her last years in a wheat field with her daughters and not in jail is nepotism (being miorine’s poor little meow meow-in-law), which is very funny.

I also like the framing of suletta as someone stubborn and greedy. she may be kind and compassionate, but as episode 23′s name suggests, she’s also “relentless”. she wants it all and she’ll get it with all the nicest means necessary!

eri’s new life as a talking keychain that may or may not be able connect to any device nearby via bluetooth is a whole level of existential horror thats left completely unexplored. the exchange “I don’t get what’s so great about the countryside” “well, I don’t get why you even exist” “neither do i!” is extremely good.

im still sad we couldn’t learn more about notrette and her death and quieit zero given the lack of time, but i do love how she consistently works as an influence on miorine at least as much as suletta and arguably way more than delling from beginning to end. shes all about reaching out even if it means compromising yourself a little, and even then, while always remembering that the ultimate goal is sharing, connection, and of course unconditional love. sure the message in the tomato being the password to access quiet zero’s systems is stupid, but i cant find it in myself to care all that much.

now, as for our main girls. I dont need to tell you that the rescue scene is excellent, obviously. as for the final scene of the final episode, its very obvious production did their utmost in showing a married sulemio in spite of what the higher-ups at bandai might have said. at sunset, a wheat field with children playing and an elder idly watching, shiny matching rings, beaming smiles as the two spouses reunite after a long absence and cling to each other, sharing a long, silent, look of intimate affection, before being interrupted. as they leave, the clasp each other’s hand. it’s all very idyllic and bucolic and domestic and i daresay traditional. “up to interpretation”. gtfo. a more substantial qualm would be the lack of tomatoes, or the fact that while it is implied, we don’t see suletta’s school on mercury, which is a real shame, because we not only unfortunately lack PSAs from sulemio due to the cowards at bandai, we also lack a vision of their dreams come true.

in retrospect episode 12 of gwitch is kinda goofy given the relatively tame season 2 we got afterwards. watching it now knowing what happens later makes it clear it was mostly for shock-value

#the witch from mercury #gundam the witch from mercury #gundam

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kuiinncedes · 3 years ago

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#no one: my dad: takes one short look at the work i'm doing which is like putting stuff into a database and involves googling a lot of stuff #'this is all ur doing for ur work ur just searching stuff no communication with others no gjadjfbnfhgjdghwurglf'#what am i supposed to say to that lmfao #the way i wanted to be like L I T E R A L L Y who the fuck asked stfu #why u out here minimizing the work i'm doing for no reason #how do you fucking know what i'm doing for my work you looked at my screens for two seconds than k you so much #;alksdnfgjkshdbfbsgbfjvgcjfdfk #i haven't been the best at explaining it to him when he's asked me before but like #lowkey this is why bc i feel like ur gonna fucking judge me when i do lmfao #or i feel like he always asks like #like how does this relate to what you wanna do as a career or whatever i'm just like I DON'T KNOW!!!!!! WHY AM I EVEN SUPPOSED TO KNOWWWWW #can't i just do this work bc i think it's important and i like the team and i like the purpose of the work #do i need to fucking know exactly how this ties into my entire life bc i can tell ya rn it probably doesn't #i dont know what the fuck i wanna do i dont know what the fuck i am doing currently lmfao #:))) anyway it's fine lol #just had to do a lil rant bc he just said that so unsolicited and just annoyed me lmfao #NO ONE ASKED!!!!! WHAT WAS THE POINT!!!!!!! WHEN U SEE ME CURRENTLY WORKING AND THEN BE LIKE 'THIS IS ALL U DO?' TF DO U WANT ME TO DO LMAO #my brothers a fucking lifeguard wb him ..... 'this is all u do for ur work just sit in a chair for hours'#it's not really comparable i guess bc he hasn't started college yet but yeah lol #wbu father this is all u do for ur work just talk to ppl idk lmfao #jeanne talks

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yukidiaries · 2 years ago

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I rate my all(probably) teacher because i have absoloutely nothing to do and i hate my life and i hate studying and i hate school and i am going insane (i really hope now one of my school knows that its me and sees this or ill maybe actually kill myself).

TLE Teacher: first impression of him was intimidating but is actually not that bad lol, but still tho, why the fuck did you make us memorize 10 procedures in exact at the ass nighttime, 7/10, i will never rate anyone above the 8

MAPEH and ENGLISH Teacher: ok, i must admit, you are nice, BUT WHY THE FUCK ARE YOUR EXAMS AND INDENTIFICATIONS AND QUIZZES FUCKING IMMPOSSIBLE AND YOU REALLY EXPECT US TO FUCKING GET IT CORRECTLY AAAAAAAAA-, 2/10, why, its always hard to review the indentifications 😭😭😭😭😭, the source of my endless will to kms

SOCIAL Teacher: why so strict and scary 💀😭, he has the same vibe/feeling/looks or what ever as the TLE teacher but he's more cheerful-like and less akward, oh dear they were complete polar opposites, the other one looks scary, but is actually a bit nice(atleast), he looks approachable(he still tries to at this even time and i always fall for it bc his activities was 'not boring'), but is SCARY AS FU-, bro is scary, i feel like i was about cry when he said that i should speak more louder like "What did i say about my rules in this class" always says it like that in a scary way bro im gonna cry dude why does nobody understanddddd 😭😭😭😭😭, he fr dont understand us shy people, bro actually looks like hes always about to cry ive got a theory that hes always like hes about to cry bc he gets scholed by some person or idk abt him being so strict and is actually holding back on scholding students (bro probably hit a student by his attitude dont judge me its a students responsibility to assume ok) and like actually mentions on getting scholded by some idk, bro i saw that "IM DONE" in ur files bro prol venting (ik im probably misunderstanding like who tf would leave that in the whole ass class but he could be just like me fr to ignore and act like its isnt there and hope they dont notice it like me 💀 i can assume ok bish) probably has anger issues? BUT THATS JUST A THEORY, AAAA- Man, 2/10, wtf

FILIPINO Teacher: Hello advisor, you chill, and nice good humor, good tiktok dancing mov- ...excuse me, nice good easy pc exam, i hate essays tho, also why high expectations for me and give me the unfairty and made me merorize the hardest speech even if i was a tranferee 💀💀💀😭😭😭, and why my hardwork of studying on a lesson then you skip it tho, thank you for that tho, bc the mfing lesson is hard thank for skipping it, thank for the swimming pool, 8/10

SCIENCE Teacher: She feels like just my old school's English teacher, she chill, she cool, thanks for actually hearing out my excuses to get perfect grades lol, 7/10, W teacher

MATH Teacher: 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 Dont even get me STARTED im already tired bro, like, ik you old but, WHY YOU ALWAYS TEACH SO WRONG AAAA, like dude, just look at her answers youll literary understand me, its ok if it just a little mistake but like umh... thats too much for a "Pro,fe,tio,nal teachers" 💀💀💀, she wont accept crap, she either ignores it, or blames the student 💀💀💀💀, i also have that fucking feeling where shes favoriting the son of the principal on the school like wtf dude, also why do you make us just copy the answers 💀💀💀💀💀 i can excuse the lack of activity on checking our answers even if you promised to do it already like 2+ times but pleaseee why are you making us copy the answers except of making us train our brain and say that "Parents will come here and complain about your grades" like broooooooooooo 😭😭😭, everyone of us got probably atleast 15 mistake in math exam for no reason just because of her one single typographical error and didnt even correct it 💀, 2/10 u and my father is literary the same whats worse is me put both in the same room with both of you and math, i feel like dying

Peyn

#pain and suffering #rating my teacher #rating my teachers for no reason #crying sobbing screaming dying #depressed as shit #school #school is ass #teachers #rating

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astrababyy · 3 years ago

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Rereading the KOTLC series Pt. 2

Same message as before: Rereading the KOTLC series, starting with the first book. Most of this is just me joking around but some of it is me actually complaining. How you’ll be able to tell the difference is your problem, not mine. Also, I am a staunch Forbidden Cities stan and Lost Cities anti. This will, in fact, reflect in how I reread this series.

She woke up in a cold sweat and decided sleep was overrated.

Sophie’s inner thoughts can be so entertaining something lmao. Would’ve been interesting to see how different it’d be if it was in first person POV.

But the color brought out the gold flecks in her eyes,

Of course, Sophie has gold flecks in her eyes because there’s nothing interesting with warm, solid-colored brown eyes. They have to have gold flecks. It is, obviously, very important since so many authors have their brown-eyed characters have gold flecks.

“Missed me bad, huh?” he whispered, flashing a cocky smile.

Man, I wish Sophie wasn’t so shy so she could put him in his place lol. I love Fitz, but he can be real cocky sometimes. Entertaining as it is, it’s also a little cringy.

Elf or not, she had a life here, with classes she could fail and parents who could ground her.

This line alone literally contradicts everything with Sophie’s later reactions.

I get that the opportunity to be with people like her was a big deal for Sophie, but the lack of real fight she put when they told her she needed to up and leave her entire life and family behind was genuinely absurd.

Adding in the way she kind of deferred to the Council so easily, trusted these random strangers, and everything in between, it just felt so weird to me. I get that she’s been through a lot, but she barely even put up a fight.

“How am I supposed to trust you when you won’t even tell me anything?”

Isn’t that what you’re doing with the majority of people in your life later on in the series?

You can’t listen to someone’s thoughts anytime you want to know something. There are rules.”

No one who comes to the mind-boggling (/s) realization that no one’s gonna know unless you tell them cares, Fitz. Unfortunately, the people who have come to that realization haven’t told us so we don’t actually know who they are.

Also, why would Sophie care about the rules at that moment? Why should she? Why should you? Especially considering your “assignment” also happens to be illegal –– probably much more than reading someone’s mind.

He grinned as his eyes locked with hers. “Your future.”

Oooh so ominous.

(When in reality, it’d just been a grumpy old man in a young-ish man’s body, a cheerful dude with a massive crush, and a shy-spoken little lady who looks like the elf version of the stereotypical princess that was judging her “future”. Not nearly as impressive or intense as Fitz likes to make it sound.)

She could feel her cheeks flush. “Oh. Uh. Yeah.”

Why does she blush about everything? Alden was just commenting on how unusual her eyes were compared to that of other elves. I get that she’s not the most tractable person out there, but this is getting a tad excessive, don’t ya think?

“Humans,” Alden muttered.

Elves, I retort.

“Kidnapping is a human crime.

Um not in this book, it seems.

Also, why would he even know that? Is it because of all the research he’d done while looking for Sophie? He’d known about the horrors of humanity, and he still sent Fitz out unsupervised to go gallivanting across the globe like he wasn’t at risk constantly? Is he stupid, or is he stupid?

but it was the kindness in Alden’s eyes that made her agree.

Really? Those eyes would only deter me. eYeS oF bRoKeN sEa GlAsS tf that’s so freaky. I’d be so weirded out.

Alden clamped the bracelet around Sophie’s right wrist, twisting until it fit snug.

Does she really have no reaction to that? Random stranger clamps a thick, ugly, and bulky bracelet around her wrist and she doesn’t care in the slightest? Man, I don’t care how pretty or kind his eyes are. If some random dude tries to clamp some ugly ass bracelet around my dominant wrist, he’s getting a punch to the nose.

“I got mine off early. My concentration is strong enough for three people––which is why we’re fine. Sophie’s not even the least bit faded, and you know it.”

Fitz seems to be a bit arrogant in his abilities. (I didn’t note that in my first time reading this book. I should do an analysis or something of the characters’ personalities since they always seem so difficult to tie down.)

Being overshadowed by Sophie was probably a big blow to his ego. I hope he gets his time to shine in later books instead of constantly having his ability and power be dragged down to being the Moonlark’s Cognate. Must be annoying to deal with after spending so long in the spotlight and constant praise. I’m surprised it hasn’t been brought up more often.

“Isn’t that glowing fungus?”

Yes, Sophie, it is, but don’t tell the elves that. They don’t want to admit that they’re terrible at names.

The idea of going to an elvin academy made her head spin. Would she have to sneak away every day?

The fact that they didn’t even explain to her the true weight of setting down roots in the Lost Cities (ie. getting tested to see if she’ll attend Foxfire) pisses me off. They should’ve explained that to her first before making her get tested. It’s such a weird way to sort their priorities. I get that it’s for plot reasons, but there isn’t that much harm in letting Sophie settle before doing any of the other things they did with her. It just feels so unnecessary and, frankly, insensitive.

“He feels your upbringing and lack of proper education should disqualify you.

Isn’t that the entire point of school though, Bronte? To attend so that you can get the proper education you’re complaining about?

“So . . . you have gnomes as servants?”

More accurately, they have gnomes as glorified slaves, but yes, that’s what they are. Just because the elves are too pathetic to admit it doesn’t mean it’s not true. I still have no idea why that was included. It was not necessary, especially when the horror of it isn’t even resolved or acknowledged. It’s just there.

A second too late Sophie realized that she should’ve curtsied––not that she knew how.

It still baffles me how, nine books into this series, Sophie still hasn’t learnt how to curtsy. Has no one seriously taken half an hour of their day to teach her? I know it’s probably just something kept in to make her seem qUiRkY aNd ReLaTaBlE but still.

“How long do elves live?”

How is she just okay with that? She gets over it immediately. My thoughts would go straight to my family, the fact that they’re humans while I’m not, and panic over them eventually aging and dying while I remain eternally the same age. Kind of surprised this hasn’t ever been brought up, actually.

Kenric and Oralie’s jaws dropped.

I wonder if they laughed about this later, and how cringy they acted throughout the entire thing.

“Sounds like Alden’s golden boy isn’t as infallible as everyone thinks.”

Yeah, it must really suck to know that one of the only people that’s succeeded in reading your mind is the same girl that read an Ancient’s mind without training and barely trying. I mean, I’d be absolutely distraught, unable to move on from that. /s

He needed more? Seriously?

[Sophie just lifted the goblet after being asked to lift something as heavy as the pole from earlier and Alden suggested to try something small. Bronte’s not very impressed.]

I mean, I don’t like Bronte’s characterization in the first couple of books very much, but he’s got a point. It’s probably not very impressive to watch some random kid lift a goblet.

She dropped one of the Councillors.

I know! And it was amazing!

“I vote against––and you will not convince me otherwise.”

I still don’t get why he did. Bronte’s intentions, goals, etc. were never very clear. It just seemed like he was being the villain for the sake of being the villain. There’s nothing wrong with that, but his character does a sudden 180 later on and it doesn’t make sense. His relationship with Sophie shouldn’t have changed so suddenly when we didn’t even know his original intentions.

That’s all I’m going to read for now! I’ll start again later.

#kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #sophie foster #fitz vacker #alden vacker #astrababyy rereads #mr forkle #councillor bronte #councillor kenric #councillor oralie #lost cities #shannon messenger #astrababyy

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twopoppies · 3 years ago

Note

Firstly No pressure to read any of the below it’s just a lil rant after I ended up on the wrong side of tumblr!! ( + I have ADHD and i forgot my meds lol so its a bit disoriented and all over the place) and no response necessary unless you want to!

Oh god I accidentally ended up on the wrong side of tumblr....never ever ever ever again, I went back so fastttt lol im laughing at myself rn for how quickly i clicked away from disgust

i ended up on a blog that stalks u and some other larries and says absolutely atrocious things abt louis (I can send u their @ if u'd like so u can block them) and fully bought the stunt bs happening rn and it was horrible obvs but like i just do not understand like it was so creepy gina and im just so disgusted bc why? yk?

like u were not joking abt anti's actually being obsessed with larries - like half this person's blog was talking abt you and amy and i was just so shocked cause why??? like mate come on what the actual f? get a life please?? (im quite new so im like just now realising how insanely weird and obsessed these anti's are)

Also it was just an overall eye opener for multiple things:

Starting with that 1. the way 1DHQ and 1D Management managed to alienate larries actually worked and i like knew but truly doing a proper deep dive and seeing multiple blogs hate on larries and like obsessively stalk us was insane?? Like they truly believe everything they’re being fed???

Side Note: Lowkey feeling very lucky to have had the education i have because even before i even joined this fandom i believed partially none of the relationships in the news bc like i knew abt this industry and how it worked yk? i mean its logic? i have so many mates that arent even in the fandom that know i am in the fandom and texted me when the articles started rolling out calling it out for what it was: A PR stunt

Hell someone i know whom i had never even talked abt fandom stuff/stunt stuff fully texted me making a joke out of it!!! like people who aren’t even in our fandom can see it and its just insanely surprising that if they can why cant the antis?? im just a bit shocked rn

both from 1. finding someone who actually believes in this stunt and 2. multiple blogs that fully commit their time to stalking u and other larries and once again i knew but fully seeing it

YK AT FIRST I WAS LIKE IS THIS A JOKE I DIDNT BELIEVE IT GINA I THOUGHT SOMEONE WAS PULLING MY LEG OR THIS PERSON WAS IDK BEING SARCASTIC AND HAD A MESSED UP SENSE OF HUMOUR but ye anyway

It made me realise that 1DHQ knew what the fuck they were doing when they were trying to alienate larries from the rest of the fandom, once again i am feeling extraordinarily grateful to have grown up with an education where i was literally taught to never trust anything and to always think things thru using logic - “does it makes sense to you? if not find out why, there usually a reason behind everything” my yr 9 english teacher used to say smth like that all the time and it just never left me bc she was always teaching us to judge everything and to take every piece of news we read entertainment or otherwise with a grain of salt and to always if we’re gonna give someone else our opinion or spread this information do our research (its what i am when i say i feel lucky to have had the education i have had)

Eye Opener 2: Anti’s are fully standing y’all u were 100% correct this is some next level stan behaviour if i’ve ever seen some, you’re famous gina!!

It is while surprisingly to realise that anti’s fully believe these things, more surprising to see how they treat larries bc why on earth would u treat any other human being this way??? like dont get me wrong they’re horrible ppl and i fully felt like sending them a message telling them exactly that but i would never bc i just dont want to make another person feel bad abt themselves even if they are that shitty of a person and it was very tempting

I just would like to understand why they feel the need to do this? like why hate on a whole other person? for what believing smth diff to u? having a difference of opinion? how tf are they gonna make it when they get a job??? like??? do u know how often i run into a person with a different opinion then me? it shouldn’t be that big of a deal! we should still be able to be friends with antis! but we’re not - not for lack of trying btw!! they’re just so mean and rude??? when i was in other fandoms when someone believed different things there was never this much hatred at someone for it!! hell there was barely any bc it was understood that it was normal to have diff opinions abt things and i just am truly fascinated by these ppl i swear they remind how stupid the human race can sometimes be not for what they believe (altho ngl a lil of that too) but for how they treat other ACTUAL human beings with different opinions to them

Eye Opener 2.5: Some people need lives, man like they proper do need lives and something to do maybe a hobby or smth? just like a life they need to get one of those and actual live it

and Eye Opener 3: I already felt this way but like even god damn stronger now you deserve a formal apology from both 1DHQ and the universe

and until we get that u deserve amazing things coming from the boys on your bdays to make up for it

Lastly Gina I hope you didn't read thru all that bc I couldn’t even read it over and thus sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes and I would also like to say that I love your blog and everything about you! you’re an absolute angel and one of the kindest ppl I have ever had the pleasure of well not meeting but stumbling across, you truly make this fandom a much much much better place with your presence (I shudder to think of it without u) that said if you ever need to take breaks or leave Im sure you already know but you should 100%

You first!!! Always! :)

Have a good day Gina, I hope its an absolutely amazing one!

Hi darling. LOL! Reading this was like talking with my kids when they don't take their ADHD meds. Lots of excited thoughts!! I loved it.

And yeah, that blog and their 4 followers are really... not well. But you're very right. 1DHQ made this fandom a breeding ground for people to hate larries and to think it's something Harry and Louis would both approve of. It's gross.

The gaslighting here is powerful, so thank goodness for fans like you who know to question what they're told and to look at things with logic and to do their best to see through their own biases.

Thank you for all the sweet words and your offer to kick butt (in your other message). I really appreciate it!

#long post

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youngbloodlisk · 3 years ago

Text

9-1-1 and Lone Star reactions (5/2/22)

9-1-1 (May Day)

i wanna fuck this Claudette bitch up

Albert clean shaven again?? thank god

i'd still set the world on fire for angela bassett

i used to like Josh but lately i feel like his character has been so weird like ooc and super annoying

those two just standing by sipping their coffee watching May go tf OFF at Claudette iconic truly

Eddie to the rescue

THE ALARM ISNT WORKING OH FUCK

oh this is crazy. Albert? Monday??? dude

wait so they're RIGHT above the blazing fire and not noticing any heat or anything. i mean i guess? cause like shoes they wouldn't feel the floor getting warm if that's a thing that would happen? idk im not a firefighter lmao i might be being stupid that just seems odd

okay okay NOW right after I type that Claudette goes "why is it so hot in here" Okay nvm ig!

NO WAIT SO THE FIRE WAS RIGHT OUTSIDE THE ROOM NO OKAY I FEEL LIKE THEY WOULDVE NOTICED THAT A LITTLE EARLIER THAN JUST NOW LOL

if they're abt to make me sympathize for Claudette........im not sympathetic towards rude bitches who are proud of their rudeness idk sorry!

like yeah that seriously sucks and im rlly genuinely sorry that happened to you Claudette BUT too many shows have shitty characters with poorly written sob story redemption plotlines that are meant to make me forgive their behavior. and im not forgiving your behavior bc of this!

"Josh, you're a dispatcher, not a firefighter. Today, you're a guest in this house."

"He's been waiting months to say that."

AS HE SHOULD YEP YEP YEP GET HIS ASS EDDIE

sorry maybe im being too rude to Josh for no reason i just can't stand him anymore 😭

i like Carson can we keep him around he's fun

Eddie getting Buck to stfu abt the fire-truck-on-leg aftermath god they're the greatest duo. Now kiss ffs

BOBBY ARE YOU CRAZY

yeah no time to wait around and share meaningful looks GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE ITS ON FIRE

you can't just make me watch Albert almost die and then trap May and Bobby under the ceiling AND THEN cut to a goddamn lowe's commercial

the 118 coming together to try to save Bobby im not crying youre crying shut up

THEYRE OKAY THANK GOD for a second i was thinking one of them was gonna be dead and i was RLLY gonna be crying then

YES EDDIE man knows where he belongs

Evan Buckley im gonna smack you if you don't stop treating Taylor like this I hate Taylor but I also hate Lucy and yknow what i hate the most? Buck's vanishing character development idk

May calling Bobby her dad IM NOT CRYING YOURE CRYING SHUT UP

pre Lone Star comment: im hoping this week's episode has a little Marjan cause i missed her last week there was hardly any of her i missed my girlfriend ! but judging by the preview i am not very hopeful for much Marjan screentime SO MAYBE NEXT WEEK

(back to 9-1-1 this episode isn't over yet)

i may dislike Josh but the mlm rep ! woohoo !

han brothers <<<3333 i love them

WOAH THEY KILLED OFF CLAUDETTE????

wow and something's up with Monday OH MY GOD THE PREVIEW FOR NEXT WEEK????? HOLY SHIT

9-1-1: Lone Star (Shift-less)

BANGER song in the beginning omg this song always reminds me of the Psych episode Talk Derby to Me cause it plays at the end when Shawn and Jules are skating together god i love Psych

dude what just- Tyler???

are pay phones wired to like not require money if you dial 911. cause like Owen didn't pay for the call and that would make sense cause it's the emergency line

i'm gonna Google it

YEP yep they can't charge for emergency calls that makes so much sense i had never even thought abt that

omg i forgot abt Wyatt

did Judd just throw up a peace sign cause oh my god that's funny

sidenote: im drinking an energy drink while watching these. it's currently 1am. im surely gonna regret this

room 127? 127?? nct 127?? alexa play superhuman

im rlly enjoying looking into Owen's childhood. as heart-wrenching as it is, it gives his character a further depth that was needed

THE CLOWNNNNN OHHHHH

oh god Judd oh no

"Hey, Wyatt, look at the damn thing. You ain't gonna make it worse." i laughed i love Judd sm

i mean he DID say he'd scream and pass out !

follow up on the pre Lone Star comment: no Marjan whatsoever i still miss my girlfriend this is devastating

no cause i relate so hard to Wyatt being all panicky not knowing what to do until Judd passes out and he's basically alone to figure it out himself. i work so much better, even under pressure, when no one is watching me

i love May + Bobby having their "she called me dad" moment AND Wyatt + Judd having their "he called me dad" moment in the same night that's so fun

Overall Comments

it seems 9-1-1 is still adhering more to the format of emergency calls, while Lone Star is more fleshing out the MCs' storylines.

i don't think one is better than the other necessarily, but i do miss having more consistency with Lone Star's format. but the storylines they're working with are pretty damn good and they're actually making me CARE abt the first responders' lives outside of the job. given that the show is meant to be centered around the job.

in 9-1-1 i'm usually less invested in the non-emergency storylines but i think that's because it feels like an afterthought for 9-1-1 while for Lone Star it's more of the focus now. that's interesting.

although, Lone Star focusing more on MC storylines does mean we see some character wayyyyy more than others and i don't like that very much. i miss seeing more of marjan and paul and all of them cause it feels like we're focusing so much on owen, judd's family, and even tk. love them all and love their plotlines.

just wish there was a better character balance in Lone Star. but the same could be said for 9-1-1 sometimes so yknow 🤷

right i think that's all i wanna say thank you and goodnight it's 2am !

#gay firefighter show #911 on fox #911 lone star #may grant #bobby nash #howard han #albert han #athena grant #eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 buddie #buddie #marjan marwani #owen strand #judd ryder #im trying to only tag ppl i mentioned #lol

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bonsai62 · 4 years ago

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Part 1: The Compatibility between Pisces and Capricorn

Hello everyone! Today, since I am hella bored and have nothing to do this fine evening, I am going to talk about the relationship between our two boys; Yuji and Megumi and how much they represent their signs so much.

Before I get started, I am not going to talk about their sex life even though it’s kinda important if you are into astrology, however, for this case I won’t because both of them are minors. But if you want to read more about their comparability then be my guess and look at the underline links. I will provide links in the discussion so you can have a better understanding on how the signs are and use manga pages for you to visually see it.

Also, excuse my English. I am very bad at it! Even though it’s my first language I still have lots of errors in my writing!

Also beware of manga spoilers too!!

Let’s get started on this very long essay!

Traits of a Pisces: Itadori Yuji

Positive: Compassionate (top), empathetic (middle), & creative (bottom)

We also have: Warm/gentle, caring, intellectual, animal lover, and romantic

Here we have the positive side of a Pisces and let me tell you it screams Yuji so damn much. Yuji is such a compassionate guy. I don’t think I have never seen a character who is very compassionate like Yuji (I have but we are talking about Yuji here lol). He can empathize with a whole lot of people and no matter what the situation is he understands. Yuji doesn’t need to have the same experience as someone because he can feel and get in their head to make him understand what their going through. Which brings me to that he has a really high empathy level when it comes to people (I can relate a lot because I have the same thing). However, having a lot of empathy isn’t all that’s cracked up to be but I’ll talk about it soon.

A Pisces is also very creative and they love hobbies. One of Yuji’s favorite hobbies is, I have a feeling is sports but that just based on what his old school thought of him + the baseball game. Plus cooking! Cooking is an amazing hobby and it lets you get creative with your hands and skills! I like to imagine that he is the best cook throughout the school and loves to share with his classmates and have them rate his cooking lol! Cooking is also a relief of stress so I can also imagine him having a bad day and just ends up being in the kitchen.

Now....

Negative: Overly emotional (top), impressionable (bottom), closed off (middle)

I messed up the order lol

We also have: melancholy, lazy, stubborn, moodiness, etc

Yuji is a very emotional person. We have seen him at his best and at his worse. He is such an emotional person that he felt bad for killing Choso’s brothers. His emotions gets the best of him when Junpei died, Megumi was hurt, seeing what Sukuna has done in Shibuya, and Nanamin/Nobara getting destroyed by Mahito. It’s an unhealthy feeling because we’ve seen Yuji get distracted with his injured friends and him kinda fucking up on his fighting. Another unhealthy trait that Yuji had is not talking about himself. We’ve seen him not talk about his feelings and I mean personal deep feelings that’s always going to be in the back of his head. Like when Megumi knows that something happened to Yuji but Yuji simple doesn’t want to talk about and closes it. He doesn’t really like talking about himself and rather hear other people/helping other people rather than face his own demons. If he’s facing his own demons, he rather be doing it on his own.

I also want to point out that many people think that he gets over people’s death hella easily. No... that is not true whatsoever. The boy has been through so much trauma that eventually you just get so tired of crying about it and you don’t have the energy anymore, you eventually start telling yourself “it is what it is” or “what can I do now?”. Noabra is a perfect example. He didn’t need to cry because he had the biggest mental breakdown when it happened. So when he asked Megumi about her status... he just had to say “alright”.

In my theories... she is definitely alive. Again, Gege is playing half of you guys. She is gonna pop out in the next couple of chapters or even the one coming up next.

Another things that I find interesting in Yuji which according to the links I put, Pisces tend to trust people easily:

Ease of being cheated: A desire to see the best things in other people makes the Two Fish very impressionable individuals. They trust others without any suspicions and often suffer from their frivolity. Any pressure of stronger people is accepted as a command for them and they easily agree with them without any doubts.

For instant, Todo and Choso. Those two mf were about to kill him but they didn’t because of what Yuji’s mind fuck did (I know Gege sensei said that isn’t a theory but still it’s mind fuck lol) He instantly call Todo his best friend like I can hear Nobara (Big sis) twitching somewhere lol. Whenever I think of Yuji and Todo’s relationship, I think of Vinny and Paula D from Jersey Shore haha!

Any who, while trusting people isn’t a bad thing, you still don’t know what their intentions are and everything. It’s a very naive thing to do.

But I felt for Yuji and Choso... Yuji didn’t have much of a choice...

I would like to know what changed Yuji’s mind into staying with Choso. I’m curious how Yuji “trusted” being with Choso after everything that went down. Yuji is a very forgiving character too (minus Mahito). But now, I think we can see that Choso has no bad intentions towards Yuji because he “might” be his brother. And their so cute too!!

On to our other boy!

Traits of a Capricorn: Megumi Fushiguro

Positive: Resourcefulness (top), discipline/patient (middle: also thank @pantherbeamish for the photos!), and reliability (bottom)

We also have: Responsibility, loyalty, diligence, team player, etc

Megumi is a very interesting character. Whenever I see him I get more interested in him. He is exactly what you would describe a Capricorn. We have seen Megumi be resourceful when it comes understanding how curse energy works thanks to him. He is very detailed when it comes to explaining and also a very patient man when Yuji, who doesn’t know jack shit about the Jujutsu world. Never, not once, does Megumi call Yuji an idiot for not knowing all these things. That’s what makes him amazing because if it were other Shonen mangas, the “rival” would’ve called Yuji an idiot. The only time Megumi ever calls Yuji an idiot is when Yuji literally does or says something stupid. To me, that is normal and not being a dick about it because we all know that if we had a friend like Yuji we would’ve stared at him like “why are you like this...”

It’s me... I’m a lot like Yuji lol

But no, he is very patient and tries to explain everything to Yuji as best as he can. I have this thing where almost everyone relies on Megumi a lot because he’s a serious guy + very responsible with his tasks. We see Maki trusting Megumi too. Like the time when Megumi was hyping Yuji up saying he can beat everyone in the Kyoto school if they didn’t use curse energy (something like that lol). Yuji also can confirm himself that Megumi is very reliable. He mentioned it while back at the prison because both sibling duo thought they were lost.

Negative: Sensitivity (top), seriousness (middle), reservation (bottom)

We also have: Unforgiving, criticism, suspicion, pickiness, etc

Just like Yuji, we have seen Megumi’s negative side a lot but it’s simply because he’s sensitive and thinks logically. Sometimes, I also feel like he thinks through his heart as well but that’s just me. That is where the sensitivity comes along. Megumi is hella sensitive he doesn’t need to show it because you can feel it.

In the article:

Sensitivity: It is better not to offend Capricorns who are very sensitive people. They can’t stand being laughed at and remain serious in public but feel badly deeply in their souls. Even a minor joke can result in resentment from their side!

In many, many occasions we have seen everyone fucking around or getting on Megumi’s nerves, especially in our recent Jujustroll where Gojo is saying a bunch of nonsense and embarrassing tf out of Megumi. His seriousness gets in the way and that’s what makes him sensitive.

On the side note: I also wanted to add something. As I was reading a few articles, some mentioned that Capricorns are... bland. Please, Capricorns!! No me ataques! I just find it interesting that someone, like Todo, who thinks Megumi is boring. Todo honestly thought he was boring since he first asked him what was his type and while Megumi gave us the best answer, Todo expected something more fun. But no, it was boring. Also, Megumi lives a simple life. Now, I’m not saying that Megumi is boring because as a matter of fact I like how simple he is. He likes to keep things neutral. Personally, on his activities he is considered “bland” and honestly, I can see why but I would still go out my way to enjoy it with him if I was his significant other lol I also feel like he has a good sense of style in fashion. I’m saying that judging from the official arts + “Lost In Paradise” because in that ED Megumi be looking like a bowl of fruits. A bowl of snacks lmao!

But, anyways! Megumi is also reserved to himself. He does not like talking about himself at all (hon hon does that sound like someone?). He doesn’t open up to a lot of people but I kinda feel like he does with Gojo but that’s just because Gojo raised him and he just knows when Megumi is feeling a certain way. Also, I bet Gojo just knows when Megumi is having a bad day too. We witnessed him just being in his own bubble in the current arc that is happened in the anime. Yuji and Nobara calls him out about him being so reserved to himself. He does eventually tells them what is going on, but it takes a lot for a Capricorn to open up and it’s totally understandable. I feel as if you want a Capricorn to open up, you have to let them give you time for them to get to know you. Give them your intentions and put in the effort to make them trust you.

Now in to the fun part!!

1. Trust:

Positive:

Articles 1: They will often understand each other well enough to respect their relationship and keep it clear of dishonesty

I’m a use this imagine again btw because this speaks their relationship clearly

I think what I truly love about their relationship and love the idea of them being an endgame is the trust that they have for one another(even though someone is gonna die). They barely knew each other for 2 months and their chemistry is off the mf charts.

The picture above isn’t just them having an eye opening moment but the fact that they trust each other to save one another.

Megumi had saved Yuji so many time

Yuji had also saved Megumi so many times

Tbh, when I was thinking about Megumi coming in to save Yuji from Yuuta and Naoya, I thought it would be the same as when Yuji saved Megumi and Maki from Hanami, but we got something better. We got to see Megumi never doubting Yuji and always making sure that he gives him as many chances as he gives. I hope that sparks a realization for Yuji because sometimes I always felt that he doesn’t really acknowledges Megumi doing a whole lotta things for Yuji. I’m still complaining about it because if he can say “thank you, best friend” to Todo or “thank you, Kugisaki, for letting me know that I am not alone” to Nobara, then he should definitely see how much Megumi gives a fuck about him.

I expect a “thank for being by my side and never doubting me” for Megumi.

Articles 2: Pisces, who prefers to hand off important decision-making to dominant Capricorn, feeds into the goat’s need to be in control. On the flip side, Capricorn trusts Pisces to attend to its emotional needs—something that can be very difficult to allow at first.

This is interesting because a lot of the time Megumi is always making the plans and the choices. I feel like Yuji tends to rely on Megumi a lot because Yuji respects the way Megumi thinks (I’m not saying he doesn’t do that with anyone either).

Another thing is that:

“Capricorn trust Pisces to attend to its emotional needs-something that can be very difficult to allow at first”

I want to use Yuji asking Yuuta to kill him if Sukuna comes out especially for Megumi’s sake as an example of “emotional needs” because we see that Yuji does not want to be anywhere near Megumi because of Sukuna. In Yuji’s emotional state, he would rather have Yuuta kill him than Megumi. A lot of people also have this head canon that the reason why he asked Yuuta to kill him instead of Megumi is because Megumi already has a lot on his plate or something. I forgot the theory lol

But... I have a feeling that Megumi is gonna end up killing Yuji at the end because it should be him...

But yes,

Let’s see where things end with the current event that is happening now.

But unfortunately, I have to stop right here because Tumblr only allows 10 images in one post. Tragic!

I do hope you guys enjoy and please comment if I’m missing anything with them! Let’s hope I won’t take long with part 2 because I’m hella busy at times! Overall, tell me what you guys think!

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen manga #jjk anime #jjk #jjk manga #itadori yuji #fushiguro megumi #anime #manga #soulmates #I love them #our babies #please I’m just rambling and I make no sense #itafushi #fushiita

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