#who she just went back to because her life is falling apart real bad lmao
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
paupersnail · 8 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
My little queen of hell, my malkavian Nyx.
51 notes · View notes
purpurussy · 4 months ago
Note
id love to know more about your dinok au <333
thank you for asking <3 + sorry for responding to this a little late! i'm having trouble formulating my thoughts on it atm
my concept is that dan never found phil's channel, never met him, went to uni and married a girl he met there, and became a somewhat unsuccessful legal professional because he fucking hates his job. the vibe for him is that he kinda just let life drag him along, without really allowing himself to actually Live, and now he's in too deep to just come out as gay... like he's experiencing some insane cognitive dissonance dshshglk. coping through denial+alcohol has been working okay for him so far but now his career is flopping heavily and his marriage is falling apart bc he doesn't want kids (obviously) and his wife starting to suspect something is up. he meets phil through a mutual friend who he plays final fantasy with, they start talking via discord and then it's like "but wait what's this? my god it's manic pixie dream girl phil lester with a steel chair"
it's very angsty, slow burn, will they/won't they. but trust that phil is gonna see this sopping wet mess of a man and say "i can fix him" (and then dan will fix himself because i don't like that trope <3 but he needs phil to help him see that he can live his truth and be happy yk)
it's kinda hard to write because it's a bit depressing... i'm finally getting to the part where they meet irl and things start to turn around, but so far it's just been dan drinking to cope and feeling lonely :( i'm trying to go back and edit some humor into it to make it less upsetting to read lmfao. although it's fun to create a contrast between how bad dan's life fucking sucks and how much joy and whimsy he finds in talking to phil <3 it's also just really hard to write denial/cognitive dissonance if that makes sense? there's a lot to explore psychologically. and also I don't want to frame dan's beard wife as an antagonist, I feel like it would be very easy to demonize her but she's not to blame for this mess ykwim. like i don't want dan to be a "my bitch wife" kinda guy DSGSHGKG he's just scared. and the story is supposed to be about him being brave and healing, and realizing that a better life is possible. like he is his own antagonist dslskfghgjkl
I'm also enjoying the concept of the timeline roughly following their irl 2009 timeline. like they start talking around dan's 33rd birthday, meet on october 19th etc. i like the idea of some things being kinda constants even in a different timeline
anyway they just voice chat for a while and get to know each other without actually even knowing what the other looks like. and they lowkey fall in love even before they've even seen each other. so here is them seeing pics of each other for the first time and dying in a tragic double penis explosion incident
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
(earlier on phil tried to be like "why are you gay? you are gay." but dan just got scared and dodged the question so now he's not even out to phil . can you believe. that's gonna be real awkward when they start making out sloppy style 3 chapters later)
(also i just realized i've written [dan] like a million times while writing this LMAO that did not actually click for me until now)
sorry for rambling for ages! i'm so tired atm so i can't really be coherent lmao.
i really wanna post this once it's done, but i'm worried it'll be too sad and angsty at the beginning and people won't be into it 😭 i'm probably not doing a good job selling this but it'll be okay i promise
also shoutout to the people who helped me brainstorm dan's username! i havent decided yet but i like the idea of him picking something generic at first, and then changing it to something more meaningful as he goes on his little journey of self-discovery
6 notes · View notes
purplesurveys · 2 years ago
Text
1642
Was your childhood wasted by something? Normalcy, I guess. Everyone I went to school with had both parents at home everyday, so I thought I was weird, unfair, and confusing that my own dad worked abroad and my mom worked the graveyard shift. All the men in the duplex I used to live in either drank or smoked or both. Every time I went to a friend’s house and saw both parents or a family eating dinner together inviting me to eat with them, it was always a mix of “Why isn’t it the same at ours?” and “This is such a breath of fresh air.”
Would you rather die during an adventure or die like a normal person? When you say adventure, the way I understand it is like falling off a cliff or getting accidentally wiped out by a passing train lol. That said, I’d much rather die in a bed.
Have your parents ever put you on a diet? No, I’ve never seriously needed to be in one.
Have your parents ever tried to commit suicide? I had one threaten to do it but I hate that memory and try to never resurface it.
Do you have a gag reflex? Yeah.
Do you ever fantasize about trying drugs? ‘Fantasize’ isn’t the right word for it...it’s always been just a very vague curiosity to try it. Last year I got to try vaping cannabis oil or whatever the fuck it was and it gave me the most horrible reaction, so I don’t plan on ever taking drugs.
Have you ever put gum in someone’s hair? No, such a crappy thing to do.
Would you rather have sex before you’re married or wait till marriage? Well I didn’t, but it honestly doesn’t matter to me. If my hypothetical next partner wanted to wait, I wouldn’t have a problem with it.
Have you ever not gone to school, just because? So many times. I’ve done it for work too, albeit a lot more infrequently. Do you know anyone who can play the bagpipes? No, I’ve never even seen one in real life.
Have you ever let someone hit you? Playfully, yeah. In the rare times someone hit me intentionally, I always hit back.
Do you own a hand warmer? Absolutely no use for something like that here.
Do you have friends in other states/countries? They were my friends when they used to live here, but we’ve all grown apart since. We remain mutuals on social media but that’s as far as it gets.
Do you ever pay attention during church? Nah. I use the entire hour to daydream or think about what to eat for lunch.
Have you ever broke a window? Nopes.
When was the last time you freaked someone out? Yesterday because I had to give my mom the news that Cooper aggressively bit the entire lower half of my face and it wasn’t looking good. She was out having lunch with my grandma, so I felt super bad that I had to interrupt it the way I did, but then again it was a serious emergency and she would’ve probably been a million times more worried and angrier if I had waited for her to come home before telling her.
Have you ever gone on a date with a weirdo? No.
Who’s the last person you called a bitch? Probably my sister but it’s always as a joke or as a filler word.
Do you drink kool-aid? I’ve never had it before.
Have you ever dropped something hot on your foot? YES, tteokbokki sauce that was fresh out the microwave. Pain you wouldn’t believe, lmao.
Do you watch porn?: Yeah but it’s on a very once-in-a-while basis. I’ll watch if I’m in the mood for it, which isn’t often in the first place. Have you ever missed someone you hated? No. Bridges burned remain burned.
Is anyone in your family disabled? I have an aunt with Down syndrome.
What do you want for Christmas? I just ask for anything BTS-related lol but I always encourage them not to get pressured and to just get knockoffs because it’d be hard to accept authentic (i.e. EXPENSIVE) merch. If they don’t wanna bother with BTS or find it hard to pick a gift, I just ask for either food or soju hahaha.
How many moles do you have? Off the top of my head I can count 6, but I could be forgetting others.
Do you make your bed everyday? Almost never these days. My bed is super near the ceiling and I ALWAYS hit my head, much to my annoyance. Making my bed would give me 847548934 more bumps so...eh. The good thing about it is since the bed is super high up you can never see my blanket unfolded and my pillows in a heap and all, so I’m honestly unbothered about not making my bed as much anymore.
Do you know how to ride a bike? I don’t.
Do you own any comic books? I have a couple from my super short-lived comic book phase, but I haven’t touched them in years.
What is the nastiest dare you have ever committed? Eating a siomai off the ground. 
Do you know anyone who has been raped? Yep.
Are you an atheist? Yes.
Have you ever owned a goldfish? I did as a kid, yeah.
Who was the last person to call you beautiful? Not sure.
How many times have you been stung by a bee? Zero and I hope it remains zero.
What was the last flavor of gum you chewed? Can’t even remember the last time I had gum lol strawberry, I think?
When was the last time you used tape? This morning.
When was the last time you said fuck? Yesterday when I saw how much I was bleeding from Cooper’s bite and when it was slowly dawning on me that I had to abandon all my plans for the day and go to the hospital ASAP.
Have you ever stolen something? Maybe like a pen here and there, but never anything bigger than that.
What’s the last movie you watched? Decision to Leave. It wasn’t my cup of tea though so I was unable to finish. Sorry Namjoon.
Who’s the last person you watched a movie with? I watched ^ that alone.
Where were you yesterday at 5 PM? In the hospital getting five fucking injections and a skin test. Worst time.
Who would you like to kiss right now? Nobody but Korean idols I happen to have the biggest delusion towards loljk
When was the last time you had tic tacs? Years ago.
When was the last time you ate chicken? Last Friday when I had a chicken sandwich.
Who was the last person you told to ‘Shut the fuck up’ to? Probably Tae during his last live?? LOL
Why were you last nervous? Yesterday because I was told that not only 1) did I need to get five injections, and 2) my HMO doesn’t cover animal bites. Everything that happened yesterday was so stupid I feel like it was entirely a dream.
Whose pants did you last take off? Uh, just my own.
When was the last time you were disturbed? Yesterday.
Why did you last feel awkward? This morning. Context: I went to one of my clients’ events which was running the whole weekend – and there was one attendee who confirmed for today and I had to keep her company. 
Anyway, she was the one confirmation we had for Sunday so I didn’t have an excuse to ever leave her alone and start accommodating or small-talking other attendees LOL and it was a SUNDAY MORNING, so it was hard for me to keep the conversations coming, hard as I tried. There were a handful of moments we were just stuck in silence because she wasn’t so talkative herself.
When was the last time you got in a fight with your best friend? I don’t think I’ve ever quarreled with Angela since, like, grade school.
Have you ever asked someone for a tampon? No, I don’t use tampons.
Who was the last person you read a book to? I don’t think I’ve ever done that.
Who is the person you say the most naughtiest things to? Probably my ex.
Who was the last person to send you a letter? Andi.
Do you like cupcakes or muffins more? Cupcakes.
Have you ever pushed someone on purpose? Yep.
Have you ever slapped someone in the face? I definitely have, but only because I was hit first.
1 note · View note
phantaloon-books · 4 years ago
Text
Things about Tower of Nero that I want to highlight to remember them forever:
Lu being an absolute badass woman, I just love her too much
Piper McClean being canon wlw, she was actually kissing another girl, we really fell in love in october
Chaos being canonically female (just chaos being mentioned as a deity rather than what's below tartarus)
nobody DIED, like no one on the good side at least?? yes plenty of beings have died throughout TOA, but nobody died in TON?? so many died in TLO and BOO, I expected to mourn someone and I didn't have too??! it made me so happy
solangelo. that's it. solangelo makes me happy.
will being incredibly supportive of nico, and instead of stopping him, going with him on dangerous adventures because he doesn't want to leave him alone. also them treating Nico's PTSD for what it is
WILL SOLACE CANONICALLY GLOWS IN THE DARK. HE'S A GLOWSTICK BABY.
also will just appearing at the gates of the throne room, glowing in rage because someone touched his boyfriend (and tried to kill his dad), and him just marching through everyone (everyone else letting him), just to pick up his hurt precious boyfriend and take care of him.
meg McCaffrey got her happy ending. she's baby, she deserves her family and her happy ending. also Lu being the mother and the 12 children being siblings?? that's one hell of a way to tell nero to fuck off and right his mistakes. we love meg.
dionysus being the best olympian after apollo. the duo content we needed, and now will never get
nico mentioning bob and how he wants to go look for him, because he can still be in tartarus
rachel still being a Total badass and hitting people in the eye with her blue hairbrush thus being iconic
meg acting as lester's anchor and only reason why he didn't let go of the ledge, not falling into chaos, is top tier 'reasons why I cried reading', because if you think about it, Meg is the first ever friend apollo ever had, and them being best friends is everything to me
also apollo choosing to go looking as lester rather than apollo because lester feels like home is on top tier 'reasons why I cried reading' too
again, the only thing apollo did in the end (once he was god again) that could be described as 'godly' was be in several places at once, fly his chariot, and get meg her unicorn
but apollo shooting fucking fire out of his hands is crazy asf, it was so cool. he really got amazing godly powers this book.
rick being bold enough to showcase abusive parenting knowing that a huge porcentage of his readers are minors, helping many realize that they could be in abusive households, and giving them a tool to reach out for help
apollo defeating nero was so satisfactory, because you realize in the end, that nero wasn't really a monster, he was monstrous, but still very much human (if only with some godly power), and pretty useless once he couldn't hide behind props and weapons, his being wasn't powerful, he was just under layers of protection
the jackson/blofis scene was so warm and loving, they really are willing to put their family in danger, baby estelle in danger, to help 'percy's friends' even tho she knew percy didn't like apollo, but she still takes in everyone who needs help, and paul being a loving and accepting husband
sally working on her SECOND novel, she really is having her best life
none of the big heroes from other series having protagonism, besides nico and will, instead giving the other kids from camp halfblood their chance to show they're just as worthy as the "heroes of olympus"
(still I would have loved to see a scene with everyone else, like the heroes of olympus guys, fighting together one last time, just for nostalgia's sake - I legit hoped to see percy and annabeth arriving with chiron in triumvirate tower, but yeah)
the arrow of dodona may have been a dumb, cringey, and slightly ridiculous thing at first, and I personally rolled my eyes everytime it said anything, but it knew what would happen from the start, and without its sacrifice, apollo would have achieved nothing. we stan one arrow
nico wearing a white cowboy hat. idky but it makes my heart swell with joy. he a gay cowboy
y'all know I love Apollo's arch, and I just gotta point this out. his trials, his time as lester, started with him falling to earth, and ended with him getting up after purposely throwing himself off the earth, towards tartarus, almost falling to chaos. that's really clever writing.
the olympians watching over him, and some actually being concerned for him rather than his progress.
poseidon not really giving a fuck about the world or council meetings anymore because percy's not there anymore
athena being the only one apart from artemis who trusted apollo could do it makes me warm fsr
lester deciding that the best way to retell his adventures is by singing is hilarious to me, he really thinks it'll solve everything
Grover not telling percy and annabeth jason died seems so funny to me, he really said "nah it doesn't matter much, field trip, yes"
"hey man" my heart broke in twenty million pieces. like I don't know where I expected to see jason. but that wasn't it. and it hurt me as much as it hurt apollo man.
(also I kinda hoped we would see nico summon his spirit or smth, but I'm actually happy nico realized that jason went by his own choice, and he was in peace, so he decided not to summon him, because it was alright. that hurt too)
kinda love how lester passes out after literally every battle. it reminds you that even tho he's apollo, his body isn't. I'm sure we all would pass out too if we did a quarter of what lester did in the span of 4 days. his body isn't made to endure that, it doesn't even have a halfblood endurance, it's a weak mortal body
the trogs were fucking hilarious. their screeches and grrs, idk there's something ridiculous and so childish about them, it's so fun
really happy that apollo never had a /real/ love interest (reyna doesn't count), cause that wasn't what his story was about. instead he got to make so many friends, and have quality time with them and his children, it's amazing
apollo being thankful people were telling him he'd grown, and was more human, because he realized that was the best thing he could have learned from his time as a mortal
also him saying fuck you man to zeus and his speech, like "no asshole dad, I did learn, I'm not going to see this as punishment, it was a great time in which bad things happened but I enjoyed it." yes, we love apollo not letting zeus win
getting to see what everyone will do now. nico and will figuring out rachel's prophecy, probs saving bob. rachel living her best life away from her parents. leo doing what leo does, always helping those who have no one else. the hunters' open storyline about this fox, possibly hinting at content? piper settling down in a quiet life is what she deserves tbh, she's earned quiet life with a cute gf, wish her the best. Frank and hazel being the best praetors, and I bet they will continue to be so. And annabeth and percy, who chose their happiness over all, at last
kinda wish we got to see someone still really miss jason after apollo becomes god again tho lmao like apollo missed jason more than the others, nico and piper being the exception. I mean, leo is fine and dandy, hazel and frank are okay, percy and annabeth are done mourning... I just we got to see any of them really mourning, rather than reading they mourned. it would have made it feel more emotional
the last conversation and the last words in general. "the sun always comes back" and "we're friends now. call on me. I'll be there for you" that shit got me sobbing my heart out. rick really managed to do right by the books and end it like he should have, unlike BOO. he took what made TLO good and used a similar formula. it's very different from "and for once I didn't look back", but it still fills you with warmth and the feeling that even though it's over, it's okay.
I'm just really emotional, this is all I can think about, but you bet I'm gonna add more when I remember
1K notes · View notes
beewritings · 4 years ago
Text
Break up texts with AOT characters
(Eren, Armin, Jean, Connie, Reiner, Zeke & Porco)
AFAB reader
Content Warning: angst, fluff & some nsfw. Mentions of ddlg (?), semi public sex, I think that’s all. :)
Yes, all the times are the times I worked on them. I don’t sleep lmao. There are typos I see them in just unbothered to fix them
Eren
Tumblr media Tumblr media
You drive over to Eren’s place about ten minutes later. You already cried and did your little heartbreak grieving before leaving. To be fair , you just wanted to have sex with him one more time. Unless he gets into a new relationship, you wouldn’t mind being his friends with benefits, but considering the fact you’re in love with him... it’s a hard no. You get there after fifteen minutes of driving, you have a spare key which you will be returning so you just walk in. You see him sitting on the couch of his apartment, leaning forward with his legs spread and his head in his hands. He looks up and sees you. You walk to him and sit on the couch in front of him.
“Hey...”
“Hey.”
The awkward silence was so uncomfortable, you honestly didn’t want him to say the words to you again. You just wanted to see him, to have him. One more time before you avoid him forever.
Armin
Tumblr media
You feel bad that you broke up with Armin through text, but you didn’t have the guts to tell him in person. But since he was so calm about it, you decided to go and visit him a few hours later. When you get to his dorm which was just across from your dorm building, you do your knock so he knows it’s you. He rushes to the door and greets you with a smile and asks why you’re there. You tell him how you felt bad that you broke up with him by text and wanted to check on him.
“Y/n, I’m fine! It was only 4 months, it takes longer than that for me to fall in love. I saw us as baby couple, just trying it out until it gets serious. I’m not angry, I’m not upset. Don’t worry, y/n. And the way we can still be friends? It makes me happier!”
Let’s just say that a few days later, you crawled right back to him asking him for you back. Eren told him it’s because his dick game strong, and even though Armin knows his game is strong, he knows that you just have a kind heart and that’s why you’ve been attracted to him. Now it’s been over a year and you have a promise ring on your finger :)
Jean
Tumblr media
You and Jean are literally in the same apartment. You LIVE with him. You’re in the bathroom and he was cooking food. He texts you telling you to get off the toilet and go to the kitchen so you finish your business and do what he says. You get to the kitchen to smell the beautiful food and you approach your husband.
“You’re joking right? About not feeling it between us?”
“Of course I’m joking, I’m literally married to you. Today is our 2 year anniversary. Jean, did you get high before cooking? Did Eren sneak in here and let you smoke? Are you good?”
Jean holds your waist, giving you kisses on your forehead. He pushes you lightly against the counter next to the stove. He shoves his face into your neck, leaving those gorgeous black and blue galaxies on your neck.
“Really? Before our guests come over? You’re such a bad boy, do I have to punish you later tonight?”
“If anyone’s getting punished, it’s you for pretending to break up with me,” he lifts you up and puts you on the counter, going in between your legs. He lifts up your skirt, leavings kisses all on your thighs making his way to your core. “Now, you be a good girl and let daddy take care of you, yeah?”
Connie (yes the top text is cut off for a reason)
Tumblr media
You googled break up texts because you wanted to mess with him, but his responses really disappointed you. Like geez prank gone stupid? When Connie gets to your place, he literally brought his switch and extra controllers and he pushes his way inside. You own the switch lite (pain) so you always ask him to bring his and connect it to the tv. He’s so focused on gaming with you that he doesn’t even pay attention the fact that you’re wearing lingerie. You don’t even want to play, you just wanted sum fuk. He finishes setting up the console and sits on the couch.
“Hey babe. Oh, nice. You look cute.”
“???? CUTE?”
“Yeah. You ready? Lets play.”
“Why am I dating you? You don’t even know how romance works.”
“Yes I do. If I win, I fuck. You win, I go down on you. Is that not how it works?”
“.... connie shut up and let’s just play.”
Reiner
Tumblr media Tumblr media
You felt like the world was coming to an end. What made Reiner change his mind? You guys just made love the other night again, he took you out to eat last night, why today? Oh no... was he spoiling you to prepare you for heartbreak? Reiner doesn’t seem like that though.... why is he so poetic yet such an ass? It’s around 9 pm when he stops by with your belongings. You try to give him his goodies but he tells you to keep it. He allows you to cry in his arms, to kiss him one last time. And the whole time this happens, this man gets a raging fucking hard on. You know he had a thing for pain and degradation, but this is real life. Is he really getting turned on by a break up? But... it gives you a chance to have one last sex before he never comes back. Because god that man has a monster dong.
“Reiner.. whats with the hard on?”
He blushes, moving a hand to cover his crotch area. Unfortunately, your hand grips his cock this his pants before he does. He buckled his knees and legs out a strangled moan, just for you.
“Y/n, d-don’t do this..”
“Oh? Who’s the one who got a hard on from breaking up with me? Huh?”
Before you can do anything else, he pushes you off him, your ass landing on the bed. You were expecting one thing, but not what he does.
“Stop! Listen, I got to go. I hope you live a happy life... I love you...”
He walks towards your apartment door, swings it open and steps out.
“Take care.”
Zeke
Tumblr media
After Zeke had texted you that, of course you cried. You didn’t know how to take it... he’s in his thirties and you’re only in college. Hell, you have class with his younger brother. But have fun? Go to parties and fuck other men? Like if you’re a cuck, just say it. If he REALLY wants you to party and sleep with other people, they could’ve just stayed in a relationship but make it open. He could’ve added some people to the sequence... you’ve always wanted a threesome, especially with a girl so you don’t understand why he’d just leave you. But you don’t even like parties or clubs. You love him, you want to be settled down. You wanted him. If he found another woman... he would’ve said that right? Or is he manipulative like you heard his brother was? Everyone knows about Eren, he’s a whore. Does it run in the family? No... he only broke up with you today. Just wait a bit before assuming.
A month passes, you went to one (1) party at a club with your dorm roommate, Hitch, and you had a terrible time. You saw one man drop something in your drink (which you proceeded to toss on his face), two others tried sandwiching you on the dance floor (which he elbowed them both in the face), and some other guy literally touched your thigh while trying to speak to you at the bar. You had enough. You socked him in the face, and went towards the bathroom area. You see a familiar face with an unfamiliar woman.
Zeke...
He had a woman with long black hair on his lap. No... it’s hidden but you could see it in plain sight. He had his cock stuffed inside her, under her skirt. She had this twisted face of pleasure and he wasn’t moving, nothing. She was moving her hips on his lap, pleasing him. She looks around and makes eye contact with you. She recognizes you as Zeke’s ex, and rides him quicker.
You look away, angrily and upset, you throw the cup you were babysitting on the floor in front of you, shattering it. People around who heard it look, including Zeke. He turn your head to look him dead in the eye with your look of disgust, and turn around to leave.
That was the last time you saw him or came in contact with him.
Porco
Tumblr media Tumblr media
You sigh. You always were there for him on his shitty days. You feel bad leaving him stranded. So you ended up going over. You think it’s a bad idea and it probably is, but you’ll suffer the consequences if so. You drive to his apartment and walk in with the spare key you had. You don’t see him so you assume he’s in his room. You hear a faint sound, almost like a moan. You take a huge sigh. If he’s jerking off, you’re leaving. You walk in, opening his door and you see his back his facing you. He turns around and... he’s crying. Porco isn’t much of a crier so this really shocked you. You run to him, sitting next to him and hold his face.
“Pock, my baby...”
“Y/n, don’t leave me. Please... I know I’m a dickhead a lot and I know I’m a piece of shit. I hold so much anger in me and... I take it out in the wrong person. I’ll take anger management or something, I’ll go to a therapist. Just... please don’t leave me. You’re the reason I wake up, my sun and moon. The one I love, y/n please.. I want to build a future with you. I want to get married, have abratty little mommy’s boy with you and cute little daddy’s girl.... please.. Don’t leave me..”
Well shit. That was some convincing. After telling yourself 400 times to break up with him, he convinced you to stay this easily. After cuddling and holding him in your arms to nap, you woke up with your ass pressed against his dick. Yup, he’s hard. You can imagine what y’all did when he woke up.
You love Porco, and he was right. You wanted to build a future with him too. Maybe it’s time.
171 notes · View notes
bigskydreaming · 3 years ago
Note
Hi! I was reading a fanfic and it brought up Roy and Dick's fight, which I see a lot of in fics but never what they fought about and consequently why they don't talk. I thought it was a vague excuse/reason why Roy was Jason's friend not Dick's anymore but this fic brought up when Dick was batman so I was wondering if there was actually a fight between them? Btw I really enjoy your metas! They're v thought out and well articulated. Also it's v easy to separate what's your opinion and what's fact which is. Very helpful for me
Yeah this is one hundred percent a fanon thing that's kept deliberately vague to justify why Roy in his friendship with Jason seems to have no positive thoughts or concerns about Dick whatsoever. Now granted, Dick and Roy are not nearly as close in the New 52 as they were pre-Reboot. The lack of their friendship there is definitely one of the things I disliked most about the Reboot - and I actually don't care if Jason and Roy are friends tbh, its the total erasure of his history with Dick as if he can't be friends with both, that like, bugs most.
But so like, yeah, Roy and Dick aren't super close when they interact on the Titans in the New 52, but there's literally nothing in any of their interactions that explains the complete absence of him from Roy's life or a reason that Roy would like, hate him the way he tends to in a lot of Jason-centric fics.
When you factor in pre-Reboot stuff though, it starts to get a LOT more.....uh wyd? And this is why I have trouble buying that people just write Roy and Jason the way they do because its the only thing they know from recent comics. Like one, most fans talk about how they don't even read the source comics, so there's no reason their knowledge of the characters or events would be limited to just recent comics if they're going off wiki summaries and scans anyway. And second, most fans AREN'T limited in their knowledge to just recent comics.
Like, the second people start writing Roy and Jason and Kori but with their pre-52 characterizations and references to events from THAT timeline, it all gets very messy, the way they're like, completely antagonistic towards Dick a lot of the time. Because Roy and Dick were always solid. Yes, they fought. A lot. But they always, ALWAYS made up afterwards. They had conflict about Roy's drug addiction - it didn't stop Dick from being there to support him through rehab, or Dick being the first person Roy called to help him get Lian after he learned of her existence. Dick literally held Lian before Roy ever did? He's the one who first put her in Roy's arms for the first time.
(Which is the prime grudge I and most Dick Grayson fans have about Roy and Jason fics which make Jason like, the absolute apple of Lian's eye. If you want to expand Lian's circle of loved and trusted ones to include Jason as Roy's friend and thus her uncle, like go for it! But there's zero reason that should require invalidating and erasing the fact that Dick was this little girl's adored godfather and uncle for pretty much her entire life. And the way Dick is just shoved offstage from Lian's life entirely, to slot Jason into his place as though they're completely interchangeable, its like....THAT'S the kind of thing that gets people irey about how Jason 'steals' Dick's dynamics and character relationships.
Because there's nothing saying they both can't be major players in Roy and Lian's lives! But just that they're not interchangeable! You need to develop the specific role Jason plays there WITHOUT just overwriting everything Dick actually did in relation to the two of them pre-Flashpoint, which is what you're drawing from the second you write Lian, unless you're specifically going with the few appearances we've had of her within literally just the last year.
But I mean, when people just search and replace Dick Grayson in all Roy and Lian's pre-Reboot stories and act like Jason was the one doing all of that instead.....why wouldn't fans of the source material be annoyed by a character getting credit for interactions and things done for Lian and Roy that Jason literally NEVER DID, while at the EXACT SAME TIME, conjuring some mysterious, unnamed 'Falling Out' that Roy and Dick had, that was clearly all Dick's fault, and resulted from him being basically excised entirely from Roy and Lian's lives?
Same with Kori, for the record, and like despite being Dick's ex, she and Dick have NEVER been like, estranged? She and Dick have often been close even after their breakup. None of it makes any sense, and the fact that a lot of fans don't even try to make it make sense or justify it, and expect other fans to just be fine with settling for an inexplicable reversal of Dick's every actual dynamic with these characters while setting up Jason to occupy the exact same role Dick played in these other characters' lives, like.....lol. Its fun.)
Anyway, back to your question, like, there are fights you can go with pre-Reboot as the source of various conflicts between Dick and Roy - but again, I maintain its just as crucial that they're always written as getting past them. They have a very tempestuous relationship because they are the two people MOST likely to call each other on their shit, two of the two people WITH the most shit in common due to the parallels in their childhoods and the roles they've occupied in the Titans and the superhero community in general, and the two people most resistant to being called out on their shit by each other, lol. Mostly in that case because like, they do recognize that they have a lot in common and understand each other very well, so the second the other is calling them out for something, they're usually like "ugh, if HE'S saying this, its probably true and I am just not prepared yet to be wrong about this. I need more time being unjustifiably rawr about things." Its like that thing where they both look at each other doing something that feels familiar or calls back to their own reasons for doing something and they're like ugh I'm in this picture and I don't like it.
So they clash. A lot. But always with the implicit bedrock of like, there's nothing either of them can do or say to the other that will push the other away for good.
They fought over Roy replacing Dick as leader of the Titans when Dick's wedding fell apart, even though Roy actually didn't want to do it and was kinda pushed into it by the government, but again, Dick like, got over it and realized it was for the best and forgave Roy for it that very same issue. And on and on. It always went like that. So there's plenty of stuff that can be used or pointed at as a source of conflict between the two, but the part I'll always call unbelievable is the idea that they never make up after one of these fights. Why now? What fight, specifically, is so bad between them that despite everything else they've gone through AND gotten past, they can't get past this one? Y'know?
So yeah, that's my take on this. There is no definitive falling out between Dick and Roy as many fics like to point to in order to shove him offscreen and make room for Jason in Roy and Lian's lives, and personally, I just don't find it necessary and I actually think it makes Roy look REALLY bad. Because when you're not specifically detailing all the things that Dick has actually DONE for Roy, the lengths to which he's been there for his friend, and like, specifically invalidating each and every one of them as something that never happened in a particular fic, then literally anyone who reads that fic and has their own awareness of Dick and Roy's friendship is kiiiiiinda likely to be reading that and thinking wow what an ungrateful asshole, when Roy's just written as bitching about Dick with Jason and sandbagging him without any real explanation as to WHY, beyond just 'oh they had a fight years ago.'
(And coming up with some random awful thing that Dick did to justify Roy hating him now isn't like, a superior alternative, lmao, because again, its still just trashing one character for the sake of getting him out of the way of two other characters' friendship and people are going to think what they think about that).
Anyway, my now standard stock disclaimer that like, there doesn't actually need to be a canon fight obviously, for people to just write things this way and handwave that Dick and Roy had an epic falling out years ago and now they just hate one another or whatever, or just Roy hates him or vice versa. Obviously people are free to do what they want. They don't need a reason other than "I want to write it this way so Jason and Roy are friends and Jason doesn't have to 'share' him with Dick or have his friendship be overshadowed by their greater history together." That just happens to be a reason that no Dick Grayson fan is ever really going to be happy about, lol, for what should be perfectly obvious reasons, so it honestly shouldn't be surprising to people that fans of the source material often gripe about it.
Because yeah fanfic is a tremendous opportunity to transform the source material into something better, but if what's better for some fans actively takes away what was working perfectly well for other fans the original way, they're going to say that. Especially in a fandom where so many new fans take their view of the characters and their dynamics from fics rather than the source material - when fandom has that much of an influence on what new fans perceive to be 'canon,' fans are perfectly within their right to emphasize what is ACTUALLY canon and what isn't, so that new fans at least have the opportunity to determine for themselves what take they want to go with, instead of just accepting at face value that the nature of say, Dick and Roy's relationship is just that Roy hates Dick because of some mumble mumble ancient history vague mumble details not found mumble mumble fight.
67 notes · View notes
redxblueihateloveyou · 3 years ago
Note
Am I the only one who doesn’t get why some (tw) are shitting on Haru and Rin separately just for the fact that they reciprocate each others feelings? Because it’s not the feelings they wanted them to reciprocate? Just curious because I'm new and recently entered the fandom. And since when miscommunication in between means that they don't deserve to be happy at the end? Because you're an idiot when it comes to love, doesn't mean you're a bad person. I came from chinese bl and it's weird to me.
Hehe welcome to the madness, perfect time to join! Yeah, tbh that's the thing in the fandom that always bugged me the most. The fact that some act like if you don't reciprocate someone's feelings, it makes you a bad person. I always found it incredibly cringy when ppl in real life for example make ppl feel guilty for not feeling the same way and make you feel like shit bc of it. I don't get why you have to apologize for that or feel bad, if you never ever gave him any hope or anything in the first place.
Nowdays it's thankfully a rare sight already in this fandom, bc most already grown and see perfectly what's truly healthy and unhealthy, it's just tbh only the same 3 accounts ppl keep sending me that are still on that, who also think that Haru is literally possessed in the last movie so I don't see the point of like arguing with ppl like this. It's just they're always getting extremely angry when Haru wants Rin as if it's his fault that he feels this way and always go about it like he is inconsiderate of Makoto's feelings. Implying that they're mad that he doesn't feel that way about Makoto, while Makoto does. I'm same as @tododeku-or-bust for example said here (idk what fandom brought this on, but just in general) also do not get what's appealing about this kind of relationships in the first place.
If they shipped it in terms of like it's mutual I'd get it, but they go on about how Rin or Haru are bad friends bc they're not in love with their best friends... like ?????? I didn't know you owe it to your friends to have romantic feelings for them.
In real life if you found out that your bestie feels that way for you while you don't reciprocate, it's a burden, that'll make you feel uncomfortable and at times guilty when you shouldn't technically feel that way. So putting on someone a burden of "I was pining for you all along", when you know they don't feel the same is giving me this feeling of cringe. So I personally do not get what's enjoyable at seeing it like that in Free. But to each their own kink lmao.
It's like... is Haru at fault for the fact that he was Ikuya's first love too? I do not get it really. Like he doesn't have to take responsibility for everyone who falls for him and he doesn't owe anyone to reciprocate their feelings. Even to Rin. Like if he didn't feel the same way for Rin, it wouldn't be his fault either. But since he does feel the same way for him, it's like... good, great, happy for them.
Like once again if someone believes that Makoto and Sousuke are unrequitedly in love with Rin and Haru, that's not rinharu fault. Haru literally never ever lead Makoto on EVER. He never ever did anything that would make Makoto believe that they're more than friends. He was always honest about everything. Like when Makoto thought that he went out to see him, but Haru just wanted to see the sunrise, he told him just that. He never encoraged anything, he refused to live with him and never wanted. I do not get why it's supposed to be his fault that he doesn't like his friend in that way. If Makoto has some unrequited feelings for him and decided to hang up on this, it's his own life choice in my opinion.
It's like saying that Onodera and Takano for example don't deserve to be together just because they unintentionally hurt each other and got separated for 10 years bc of misunderstanding. This argument is like typical Yokozawa life position aka "but I was there when he left you heartbroken for several years, that means you MUST pick me". As I've said before, that's just not how it fucking works. And just bc they couldn't explain things to each other normally, doesn't mean that they don't deserve be happy now. Being idiots is not a crime.
Or if you came from chinese bl, lets go "Guardian" for example. Zhu Hong also was on about how "why you love Shen Wei, not me, I always did everything for you and I was always there, I even wore heels bc you once said you liked those etc". Like he never asked her to do this, he never gave her any hope, he was beyond rude and open about the fact that he's not interested, he never did anything to make her think she had a chance since the beginning. Just bc she decided to dedicate her life to false hope that maybe one day something might change is not his fault. It was her choice. Why Yunlan should feel like shit bc of that I do not get personally.
I'm just buffled bc like Haru for example is the most caring about other ppl's pain person, but they call him selfish and rude bc of the way he is with Makoto at times, not even realising that it IS in fact what means being kind sometimes.. to not give someone a chance when you know you don't feel it. I was always saying this like since forever, being kind doesn't mean for example giving everyone second chances, loving everyone, wanting to be friends with anyone etc. In some situations it's not being kind, it's being stupid or even not being a good person. Once again... offering someone friendship after he openly dissed your friend and you see that he's not in any position to talk back is not kind. Or if someone cheats on you constantly, but you always forgive them it's also not you being kind. It's you being stupid. Sometimes you have to be harsh. It's for the greater good.
And like I saw several times stuff like someone under scenes where Rin has his eyes for Haru only, commenting like "oh great, look at Rin being inconsiderate of Sousuke's feelings again. Can't believe you guys find this romantic." I mean, if in their opinion Sousuke is in pain from being Rin's friend, he can end it, it's his choice. It's not Rin's fault that he thinks of him as just his friend. So thinking that Rin is an asshole bc each time he simply hangs out with Sousuke he's a selfish bitch is fucking insane. I'd feel extremely bad if my best friend was seeing it this way for example. It's like hella ugly.
This annoys me also bc of the fact that Rin, the person who at the age of 12 single-handedly saved his family from falling apart after his father's death, who's an amazing friend to Sousuke and did everything to make his happy after he found out about his trauma and always checks on him first and cries about his shoulder, who in the late evenings taught Rei to swim, when everyone else gave up already xD, who was looking after Nitori during his training, who pretends to walk the same road, just because he's scared to let Gou return alone in the evenings, the most amazing son and brother, is suddenly an asshole just because Haru is in love with him, but not with Makoto. I mean, thats just... huh? Like I dont mind you ship what you want to ship, it's like to each their own crayons for real. But like dissing them and call them selfish just bc they only see their friends as friends and don't want anything more is weird to me.
As for the fact that bc of the misunderstanding they don't deserve to be happy, that's just idiotic. I mean, lets punish Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan too just bc Lan Zhan couldn't voice his real feelings back then and bc WWX misunderstood him. Lets ship WWX with Wen Ning instead. Nezumi is cancelled, he doesn't deserve to be with Shion. He left him. Takano should stay with Yokozawa, Onodera is trash. Wu Xie is trash for wanting to be with Zhang Qiling too. It doesn't matter why he leaves, it only matters that he always does. I can't believe he doesn't see that Pangzi is there with him all along xD. What an ungrateful trash of a human being I can't even.
And anyways btw both Rin and Haru are not ideal human beings in any way (otherwise I wouldn't love them this much tbh xD). But their flaws are definitely not what for example mh shippers usually blame them for. You can argue about their other imperfections easily. Like being stupidly stubborn for example. I won't point fingers here, Haru lolz. Or literally anything else.
My point is you can find what to trash them for logically, if you wanna. Do it smartly tho. Otherwise you make your ship look bad.
And I once again say what wise person said about his relationships and about the fact that not being able with someone he loves hurt him and 'why is he doing this to himself' he answered: "it's not on him. my happiness and my pain is for me to handle". Everyone decides for themselves. This is why for example Haru was so broken about voicing this to Rin and didn't have any intentions to tell him that in the first place. Bc it's not right, if you're not sure that it's requited. Technically he has no right to blame Rin for making him fall in love with him and then leaving in the first place. It's not Rin's fault really, that he made him feel what he feels for him, it's ultimately Haru's problem. That's why he feels has no right to blame him in the first place. I mean, he doesn't know that Rin feels the same, that means saying to him "you break my heart each time you leave" and making him feel bad about it is technically wrong. That's why Haru to himself said "no, please, don't say such things to him". Everyone for himself decides who deserves your 5, 7, 800 or 10000 years of your pain. It's your decision. It's your life. If Haru feels like Rin is worth it, then you have no say in that matter really. The only reason we call Rin an idiot or Haru an idiot is because we know they feel the same, so we can. But blame someone else for not feeling what you're feeling is not right.
So like even if you feel like Makoto and Sousuke have feelings for their friends, blaming Haru and Rin for having feelings for each other and not for them is beyond weird. And there's nothing wrong with putting someone you love first, every bro/sis gets it. You can say bros before hoes all you want, but like Lan Zhan might just drop his bro for his hoe, if he was given a choice. Would it make him a bad person? The fact that Wu Xie chose to save Xiaoge before Pangzi makes his a bad person? My point is it's not all that easy.
I just feel like many ppl in this fandom are very weird about many things. Either because they do not get what it's like to go through some things or maybe they just do not get that no matter how cheesy this sounds love is not that simple. I mean, for example not all selfish is bad, sometimes like in Haru's case for example not being selfish is also bad. Bc if he finally asks for what he wants, he will make both himself AND Rin happy.
To be angry at Rin bc of the aftermath of his father's death and s1 I never had it in me, after knowing everything and how adults handled it. If some of Sousuke's fans bc of Yakusoku and the fact that Rin found his salvation in Haru bc he helped him to move forward after getting his family out of this hell alone and that Haru was the safe haven that made him happy in this moment of his life, want to trash Rin for the fact that he "neglected" Sousuke, its like your opinion. I personally do not get it. Rin doesn't owe Sousuke anything. It's not his fault again that Haru's existence helped him to feel better.
Just like not everyone will get why Haru in 1x12 was so happy about the fact that he could help Rin. To be that special somebody for someone who can "save" you in moments of your life like this, especially if you love them is an incredible feeling. And no, your bestie isn't always the person for this job, no. I don't see why people do not get that I guess, that's all. But we all have our own opinion on everything, so...
We same as you do not get it since forever, but its like it is what it is in this fandom. I personally just have another life position on stuff, so I'm very far from that point of view they have.
45 notes · View notes
mystifiedmess · 2 years ago
Note
2 (hehe), 9, 16 & 21 for the ask game please!
hiii abi! thank you so much for the questions you made me remember how much of an idiot i was as a kid ( but it's deserved so no worries)
2. show us a picture of your handwriting?
i hope you know that i pictured the hehe as an evil witch cracking in the corner while she plays with her nails for god knows what reason
Tumblr media
9. tell a story about your childhood
i was a very curious kid, and used to do stupid things because of the said curiousity. we used to live on the top floor of an apartment block in our society. (i will provide a pictorial aid cause i know that this doesn't explain it very well)
the way our society was structured was that every terrace was interconnected and one could easily cross over to other person's terrace but some people used to put a fence to that cause they were like lmao this is a bad idea– and sadly our terrace was one of those terrace but there was this corner part that they hadn't bothered to cover (cause they had braincells and knew no one would try this anyways) and i don't remember the reason now but i wanted to go to their terrace and knew that my mom wouldn't allow me to to parkour my way to other terrace (she also had briancells i was the only one lacking them)
so one day while i had been given the very important task of watering the plants alone 6 year old me decided that she should try the very daring idea of crossing the terrace. i had climbed up on my boundary and was thinking on best way to move when i saw that my mom's friend who lives across from us saw my antics and she immediately went to grab her phone so i did what any other Indian kid does— stopped and was back to watering plants at the speed of light.
thats how Indian aunties gossiping nature saved me
Tumblr media
16. if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
honestly a cop out answer but not really cause i neeeeed to change this habit of mine but procastination , it has fucked me over so much and yet everytime i still do it
21. are you a spiritual person?
not really so much so in the day to day life but more when shit hits the fan i just am like— whatever higher power that their is please please don't let it end like this and let mom be okay.
and this got saddd real fast so let me cheer it up a bit by a funny anecdote but basically when we were younger, my friends stairs had fluctuating light and weird vibes and that was enough for us to convince ourselves that this is haunted and so whenever we came back after playing she used to ask (since i was an year older) me to atleast help her up first two stairs but even i was a scared bean so our ingenious solution for two kids who had just watched 1920 was reciting hanuman chalisa at full speed while we run for our lives on those stairs.
i still don't know how hanuman chalisa would have actually helped tho
(honestly we were more at risk of falling down the stairs than an actual ghost— it was 7:30 in evening the spirits if there were would probably be chilling and taking a nap for night shift)
here are the questions if anyone else also wants to ask!
4 notes · View notes
mintwithchoco · 4 years ago
Text
loonathesmut: Dawn
LOOΠΔ Jinsoul x Male Reader
Word Count: 6306 words
Categories: smut, oral, shower sex, stepsister! jinsoul
note; my first smut! i haven't seen anyone do a jinsoul smut so here! i think i focused too much on the plot but i tried my best to incorporate a lot of smut in here! i feel like it's also pretty cringey so bash me all you want lmao
note(05312021); thanks to an ask from an anon, me and @closedafterdark​ have done a few edits and even added a shower sex scene to make the story better.
aff link
Tumblr media
12 AM was displayed on the clock.
You were still awake, trying to finish an assignment that has been keeping you up the past three days.
It was raining harshly outside, the droplets pelting your window adding on to your laziness. You wanted to wrap yourself under the covers of your blanket and drink a cup of piping hot chocolate. Instead, you were working on a chemical equation when your attention was moved to the knocking sounds on your front door.
You were a bit confused about who was coming to your apartment this late at night. You suddenly thought about your friend. Maybe he forgot something? Or maybe it’s your mom, making a surprise visit at midnight. Though, that one seemed less likely as she was usually asleep by 8 PM.
You quickly rushed towards the door. To your surprise - it was neither your mom nor your friend. It was your stepsister, Jinsol.
You and Jinsol have been step siblings since you both were kids. She’s only a year older than you, which made it easier for you to bond with her. You still remember the days where you and her were playing hide and seek, beating each other in Super Smash Bros and sharing lunch together at school.
You and her were almost like real siblings, some might even say twins because of the similarities. Both of you had the same interest in food, music, etc. Furthermore, you were always together with Jinsol everywhere you went. If people didn’t know that you are both step siblings, chances are that you would’ve been mistaken as a good-looking couple.
But the truth was, you did have a little crush on her. You knew that it was wrong, but her personality is really similar to your ideal type. Caring, adorable, and a little clumsy at times, you obviously couldn’t say no to her. Adding on the obvious fact that she is really pretty from head to toe, it’s no wonder you were always nervous around her.
Now that you two were grown up, you have taken different paths in life. She has become an idol in a group called Girl of the Month, or more commonly referred to as Loona. The group has been doing well these days and of course, you were happy for her. You, on the other hand, continued your studies at a university in Incheon in the biochemistry field. Even though you and Jinsol were not living together anymore, both of you still kept in contact. It was almost a requirement to message each other almost every day and video calling whenever possible.
“Noona? Why are you-” you asked, blinking your eyes at her. She interrupted you from finishing your sentence by holding up two plastic bags with takeaway food inside. You automatically get them from her hands.
“The company gave me a week of vacation. Haven’t seen you in a while so I decided to pay my lovely brother a visit!” Jinsol said enthusiastically.
“But, why now though? It’s dangerous to be out at night, let alone someone as clumsy as you could get harmed.” You said, teasing her as a way to mask your visible concern.
“There’s less people at midnight. Plus, I had a bodyguard on the way here.” Jinsol answered, kicking off her shoes while entering your apartment.
“Oh really? Where is he?” You asked, peeking outside your door and not seeing anyone else with her.
“I told him to go back home. Which means, you have to take me back tomorrow! Ahh, it’s been a while since I’ve been here!” Jinsol answered while walking around the living room, looking at all of the new trinkets and decorations you have accumulated since her last visit.
You sighed deeply as you watched her pace around. Jinsol then plopped down face first onto your couch and gestured at you to sit beside her. You walked towards the couch, placing the bags of food on the table nearby and sat down beside her while holding in your nervousness.
Why were you nervous, you wondered. Is it because it’s been awhile since you’ve seen her in person? 
She was wearing a black long sleeved crop top with a black sleeveless top underneath, allowing you to see her toned abdomen. Her black shorts made your heart race faster due to how short they were, showing off her extremely long legs. Her creamy thighs looked delicious and the subtle hint of her buttcheeks were making your loins begin to burn with desire. You were thinking of very impure thoughts but did your best to suppress them.
Jinsol reached for the remote and turned on the television. You opened the bags and began taking out the styrofoam boxes of food out.
“By the way, why are you still up at this time? You were always asleep as early as possible.” Jinsol asked.
“As usual, assignments. I’ve worked on them for days now. Seems like they’re impossible to finish.” You said while opening the boxes. Once they were opened, you instantly smiled as the fragrant aroma of the food traveled into your nostrils. 
“Fried chicken? Oh you shouldn’t have!” You quickly ran to the kitchen and grabbed some utensils. Jinsol simply smiled at your actions.
“What do you want to drink?” You asked.
“Do you have any Sprite?” Jinsoul said.
“Yeah, I do.” You opened the refrigerator and took out two green cans of the unmistakable beverage.
With utensils on your right hand and the two cans of Sprite on your left, you went back to the couch and gently put them down. Both of you quickly dig into the food while watching a random movie that Jinsol put on.
The both of you talked a lot while eating, the movie serving as a background afterthought. From the funny moments during her fansigns to your experience working part-time at a daycare, your heart was constantly beating. The nervousness could be heard in your voice with each of your responses. You were quiet whenever she spoke and stuttered when answering her questions, often repeating certain words a few times. Every time you stutter, Jinsol would smile. Sometimes she would giggle for no reason and it only increased the furious rate your heart was pumping at.
Halfway through the movie, Jinsol suddenly asks a question that you’ve been avoiding to answer.
“Hey, baby brother?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you have a girlfriend?” Jinsol asked casually.
“Uhh no..I’m too busy with assignments and studies. I barely have enough time for sleep these days, much less a girlfriend.” You answered calmly.
“Ehh..really? How about a crush?”
“Not really. I don’t really know any girls at the university. Most of my interactions with them are about assignments or if they could borrow my notes from the previous lecture.” You felt slightly bad for lying to her, since you knew a handful of pretty girls in your university.
“How about you noona, are you interested in anyone?” You directed her question right back at her, mentally preparing yourself to be heartbroken.
“Yeah, I do actually.” All the color in your face was gone as you felt your heart metaphorically being glass and shattering into a million pieces. But you still held out hope that it was just one of her jokes...
“Oh really? Then tell me how attractive this guy is.” You teased.
“Hmm, let’s see. He’s handsome, pretty athletic, smart, kind but what’s important is that..” Jinsol stops and stares at you.
“..he’s like a little brother to me.” Jinsol ended her statement when your faces were mere centimeters and turned her focus to the movie.
You were visibly confused. Why would she emphasize her crush to be a ‘little brother’? You tried to wrap your head around it by watching the movie as well, occasionally stealing glances at her. But her words still lingered in your mind.
It was around 2 AM when the movie finally ended. You looked towards Jinsol and saw her fast asleep. Being the good brother and host you are, you delicately lifted her into your arms to bring her into your room so that she could sleep on your bed. The impure thoughts reared their ugly head into your mind as you did so.
After gently laying her down on your bed, you grabbed some pillows and blankets to sleep on the couch. You decided it was too risky to share the bed with Jinsol otherwise.
Just as you were about to close the lights and head to the living room, you felt a hand grab your arm. You looked back to see Jinsol who had a sleepy look plastered on her face pulling you back.
“Where are you going?” Jinsol asked with a quiet and raspy voice. Her exhausted voice sounded so seductive, almost causing you to choke on your own saliva.
“I’m s-sleeping on t-the couch. You know, t-to give you privacy…” You said, failing to not stutter that you had just managed to control.
“You’re not gonna feel comfortable sleeping on the couch. Just sleep here.” Jinsol said again.
“But-” You tried to resist but Jinsol pulled your hand even harder.
“F-Fine…” You said as you gave up and sat beside her on the bed. You were hesitant to do so, your king-sized bed feeling like it was too small for the both of you.
“Just lay down! I won’t eat you.” Jinsol teased.
You laid down slowly, feeling like you were going to melt and sink into the bed. Once you got comfortable, Jinsol pulled the blankets over the both of you.
“Goodnight, baby brother.” Jinsoul said, giving you a kiss on the forehead and then turned on her side, facing herself against you.
“G-Goodnight, n-noona..” You said, trying to stop your rapidly hardening erection below from waking up because of the perverted thoughts you were having.
After around twenty minutes, you still couldn’t sleep because of the close proximity between you and Jinsol. You looked to your side and saw her sleeping soundly. You couldn’t deny how pretty she looked while sleeping. After some time and your erection teasing you, you managed to fall asleep.
//timeskip//
It was now 6 AM.
Jinsol felt a weird sensation all over her body.
She was heating up from head to toe, but it was not due to a fever.
Her bottom was where most of the warm and weird sensations were coming from. She felt that something hard was touching her. She tried to move her hips around and suddenly moaned. She quickly stopped, afraid that her moans would wake you up.
She doesn’t know why, but the thing that was touching her clothed vagina felt good. She felt herself getting wet because of it as well. She wanted to get up and inspect what exactly was touching her. But then she thought about you, so she scrapped the plan and decided to just see what was going on.
She slowly opened her eyes. It was dark but she could still see a little bit. She looked at her back and to her surprise, you were hugging her tightly. Your face was close to her neck and your right hand was at her waist. Moreover, the thing that was poking her was coming from you.
Jinsol smiled.
The truth was, Jinsol also has feelings towards you. The person that she described earlier in the evening was you. She always loved how you were nervous around her. Sometimes, she would touch herself after she secretly caught you staring at her body. It was like this for two years until you and she went your separate ways to pursue your own careers.
And now she was here, visiting you with one goal in mind. To actually confess her feelings towards you. She was going to just confess normally. But now, she had an even better idea due to this newfound situation.
She slowly gets off the bed, removing your hand away from her waist. With her off the bed, your body laid flat just how Jinsol wanted. She gets on top of the bed again and crawls in between your legs towards your crotch. Throughout all of this, you were still sleeping heavily.
Now at your crotch, Jinsol licked her lips. She was finally getting ready to do the thing that she had been longing for. Thankfully for her, you were wearing baggy pants so Jinsol had no problem removing them and your underwear in one swift motion.
Your hard cock sprang out, almost hitting her in the face. Jinsol’s pussy was drenched at this point, seeing all the possibilities that she could do with your cock. She slowly strokes it, hoping that it would wake you up. But being the heavy sleeper you were meant Jinsol would have to try harder.
After stroking your cock for some time, Jinsol licked the tip that was already leaking with precum, making you moan a little in your sleep. Jinsol kept licking the drenched tip until she saw you moved slightly. Eventually, she got her wish as you woke up.
“Ugh….huh? Noona what are you-” Jinsol quickly put her finger on your lips.
“Shh, baby. I know you have been wanting this.” Jinsol said in a seductive tone.
Without any hesitation, Jinsol took your shaft into her mouth. You instantly moaned at the contact, pleasure washing over your body as Jinsol kept sucking your cock gently. You couldn’t believe that your step sister was so good at giving you head. She then stopped sucking and stroked you slowly. 
“You know, I have been eyeing you for quite some time, baby. You might not know this, but I have caught you staring at my body a bunch of times.” Jinsol said while teasing your sensitive tip, flicking her tongue against it. You felt like you were in ecstasy as she stroked your cock and teasing your tip.
 “Sorry, n-noona..I can’t- ughh…h-help it..you’re too hot- oh my god..” You tried to answer but failed as the pleasure overwhelmed your senses.
“Tell me, what do you like about my body?” Jinsol said, stroking your cock faster.
“E-everything….” Your cock was twitching at this point when Jinsol suddenly stopped, causing you to whine.
“Come on, baby. Be more specific or else I won’t let you cum.” Jinsol started to stroke your cock again at a delicately slow pace.
“Your t-thighs. I love how delicious they look.” You said. You were getting used to her strokes, causing you to throb in her hand.
“Mmm, more?” Jinsol began to stroke faster.
“Y-your ass. I just wanna spank it every time I see you w-wear shorts.”
“You gotta have to work for that, baby. More.” Jinsol strokes you at an even faster rhythm.
“Your abs. I really like how sexy your a-abs look when you wear crop tops.”
“Thank you, I worked really hard on them. Last one, baby. Don’t stop now, you’re almost there.” Jinsol was now stroking you at max speed.
“Y-your b-breasts. I could suck o-on them all d-day.”
“Good boy. Now, for your reward.” Jinsol took your shaft into her mouth, starting from the tip.
You immediately moaned. Jinsol starts bobbing her head on your cock, taking it inch by inch. She gripped your thighs while you ran your fingers through her blonde hair. Eventually you hold the back of her head with both hands, the two of you are deeply absorbed by the erotic act. You mentally counted the seconds that passed, wanting to see how long she would be able to hold you for. Jinsol shakes her round ass as you force her head deeper. You felt her throat make contact with the tip of your cock, causing you to let out a wordless scream of pleasure. After about twenty seconds, she releases your cock. Gasping for air and a generous amount of saliva dripping from your cock and her mouth, she giggles in satisfaction. Your brain was beginning to overload from the pleasure. 
Jinsol’s panties were drenched with her juices since she started. While she was sucking your cock, her hand slowly went inside her panties. You saw what was happening and took advantage of it.
“Noona..let me help you out.” Jinsol understood what you were trying to do and eased her mouth off your cock, causing you to whimper. She turned around so that her hips would be up against your face. You got to work by pulling her shorts and her panties off in one motion, mirroring what she did to you.
“Impatient aren’t we?” Jinsol said and returned to slobbering on your throbbing cock. Tossing her shorts and panties on the floor, her beautiful pink pussy was glistening with her juices, making you drool. You dive right in, licking her clit like it was your last meal. Jinsol moaned loudly on your cock, adding on another layer of pleasure. You grabbed her thick thighs to get a better grip while eating her out.
Both of you were a moaning mess. Jinsol was bobbing her head on your shaft while you were eating her pussy out. Jinsol started to fondle your warm balls, raising the volume levels of your moans. You weren’t one to be defeated so easily, starting to finger her drenched pussy with two of your fingers. She responds with an even louder moan than before, aroused by how you were giving her pussy your full attention.
Jinsol bobbed her head harder and faster on your cock, causing you to add another finger inside her vagina while licking her clit. You and Jinsol were sweating profusely, but it doesn’t stop the both of you from continuing to pleasure each other. Suddenly, Jinsol stops sucking you off and strokes your shaft hard.
“Baby, you’re so good at that. Don’t you fucking stop.” Her words made you move your fingers even faster into her. She replies in earnest by sucking your cock even harder.
Eventually, both of you can’t hold it any longer. 
“I-I’m gonna cum, baby! I’m gonna cum!” Jinsol said and continued her assault on your dick. 
“Me…too…” You replied back with a breathy voice. 
Jinsol came first, violently. She arches her back as the floodgates opened and you were rewarded handsomely with her sweet nectar. You tried to take it all in but she came so much that it was starting to leak out of your mouth and dripped onto your neck. Meanwhile, your cock twitches and explodes inside Jinsol’s mouth. She lowered her head and tried to take all your cum in but was unsuccessful because of the large volume of your load.
Both of you were struggling to breathe after your intense orgasms. Jinsol looks back at you and stares deeply into your warm brown eyes. She then removes her body off you and plops back on the bed. She kissed you on the lips. Each connection sent small jolts of electricity jolting through your body. The taste of her strawberry lipstick mixed with your cum was amazing. After making out for a period of time, both of you pulled back, leaving a trail of saliva.
“I taste pretty good.” You said.
“Yeah, I love how I taste too. Now, let’s-” You interrupted Jinsol by pinning her down, kissing her again, quickly grabbing her shirt and throwing it off the bed. Jinsol smirked and did the same, except that she ripped your shirt off you.
“You look good.” Jinsol complimented you, biting her lower lip as her eyes hungrily eyed your exposed body.
“You look even better without this.” You removed her black top to reveal her breasts that were being covered with a blue laced bra. Her breasts weren’t the biggest, but were enough for you to fully grab a handful. Your impatience took over your admiration of them and you pulled her bra off, exposing her plentiful breasts. Jinsol moaned over your actions as the cool nighttime air made contact with her exposed skin.
Now the both of you are finally naked together. You start off by kissing her cheeks, creating a trail as you make your way through her neck and eventually, her breasts. You immediately dive into her pink nipples which were already stiff. Jinsoul softly moans into your ear, enjoying what you were doing to her body. You sucked her left nipple, then moved to the right. The breast that wasn’t in your mouth was being fondled by your hand.
Jinsol was shivering with pleasure. She didn’t get relaxed, however. Instead, she reaches for your cock and starts stroking it. You moaned slightly because of her actions. After having fun with her soft flesh, you pepper her stomach with kisses and trace her abdomen by licking it with your tongue.
“Baby, do you love me?” Jinsol suddenly asked.
“Of course, noona. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” You answered with no hesitation.
“Then, prove your love by fucking me as hard as you can.” Jinsol’s dirty talk has made your cock throb even harder than before.
Fueled by Jinsol’s dirty talk just now, you turned her body around so her back was facing you and lifted her up so she was on her fours. Before lining your cock with her dripping pussy, you spanked her round ass several times.
“F-Fuck! Slap my ass again, baby.” Jinsol moaned.
You spanked her again and again, gaining a series of loud moans.
Your cock was now in between her dripping heat. It felt so warm, inviting. This was the moment that you have always been dreaming about and you don’t wanna lose this chance. You started by teasing the outside of her folds, collecting her nectar that was dripping. 
“Stop teasing me already, baby...” Jinsol moaned at the feeling of your hard cock nudging her entrance.
You grabbed her wide hips, aiming your cock and started to push into her slick folds. Both of you gasped and moaned. You never felt the feeling of a vagina before in your life and never knew how tight they could really be. You pushed into Jinsol even more, feeling her walls wrapping your shaft. Jinsol was lost in pleasure, leaning her head back and enjoying how you felt inside of her. Eventually, all of your cock went in. You savored the feeling of her plump ass against your crotch.
You slowly pull away from her pussy and stop before your tip comes out. You pushed into her again and repeated the process as the both of you were getting accustomed to it. You found a perfect rhythm and started to thrust into Jinsol. Her pussy walls felt warm with your dick embedded in her. Jinsol was a moaning mess, getting louder with each thrust.
“Fuck baby, you’re so big and hard.”
“You’re so fucking tight, noona.”
Slowly but steadily, you increased the pace of your thrusts. Jinsol’s erotic sounds were being an encouragement for you to keep yourself pumping into her. You love how cute she moaned for your cock and how gorgeous she looks being satisfied with your thrusts.
You fucked Jinsol even harder and harder. You wanted to kiss her, so you grabbed her shoulder and pulled her upright so that she’s leaning against your chest. You kissed her lips passionately. 
“Yes, fuck me harder. Turn me into your little slut, baby!” Jinsol’s words went right in your ear and of course, you followed what she said. Her walls were constricting your shaft even more. Your right hand reached towards her breasts, fondling it to give more pleasure to the woman that you love.
Her walls were becoming even tighter as you touched her breasts. Your pace didn’t slow down however, it was increasing like crazy, to the point where her ass is making clapping sounds with your crotch. Jinsoul was in euphoria, being a cute little mess. 
“Baby, h-harder please. I wanna cum all over your fucking cock.”
You put your left hand on her clit and rubbed it while thrusting even faster into her. Her moans have become music to your ears, giving you the strength to keep thrusting into her.
Jinsol then buried her face into the bed. Spreading her legs apart, you began thrusting inside her. You watched as Jinsol squeezed her tits, pinching her nipples as you fucked her hard. You made sure she could feel each thrust.
“Your cock feels so fucking good, I love it so much!” Jinsol moaned loudly, her walls squeezing the life out of your cock as you fucked her. 
Jinsol closed her eyes while she grabbed onto the sheets tightly, desperately hanging on while chasing her impending orgasm. You roughly fucked her as her body moved in time with your thrusts.
“Oh fuck!” She screamed as you held her body tightly in place, your hands making a deep impression on her hips.
“Baby, I’m cumming!”
Ultimately, she shrieks and came hard on your cock. Her walls tighten around you deliciously as you feel her juices flood your cock and begin to seep out, staining both of your thighs. You watched as Jinsol’s body trembled violently, her breathing becoming erratic as your thrusts gradually began to slow down in order to allow her to ride out her euphoric high. 
“Baby… that was amazing.” she said quietly, her mouth still open. You kept a tight hold on her as she struggled to catch her breath.
“I came so fucking hard...” She then looks back towards you.
“You haven’t cum yet, baby. I want your load deep inside of me, so come fuck me again.” Jinsol’s dirty talk reinvigorated you as you pulled out your cock from her and turned her around so that she was facing you. She was covered in sweat but still as beautiful as always. You were lost in her gaze for a couple of seconds.
“Noona, I love you.” You blurted out unexpectedly.
“I love you too, baby.”
You spread her legs to reveal her still dripping pussy. You put both of your hands beside her and lined up your cock with her vagina. Jinsol wrapped her arms around your neck, ready to receive your shaft.
“Ready?”
“Always.”
You pushed yourself into her slowly until your dick fully disappeared into her folds. Both of you moaned together at the euphoric feeling. You pull out from her pussy, leaving the tip and slamming her with a long thrust. She moans in pleasure of your cock being deep inside of her tight hole.
You started to fuck Jinsol in a slow pace. Words couldn’t describe how good the both of you felt fucking while facing each other. Her mouth was open, filling both of your ears with her lustful moans.
“Ahh, baby, I love how deep your dick is inside of me.” Jinsol moaned, her eyes rolling back because of the intense pleasure you were giving her.
“Your pussy feels amazing, noona. It’s so tight and warm.” You replied as you began to thrust faster into her. Jinsol was moaning even louder, following the rhythm of your thrusts. You lifted her feet up and placed them on your shoulders, allowing your cock to enter her even deeper.
Jinsol’s breasts were jiggling up and down and you couldn't help yourself from grabbing onto them while you fuck her. She was obviously aroused by this as you took her right nipple into your mouth. Your pace was getting even faster as the wet sounds of your crotches hitting each other could be heard.
Jinsol suddenly grabbed onto your back and scratched it with her nails. You moaned at her action and the erotic act caused you to pound her even harder. Her juices were splashing against both of your crotches, allowing you to slide in and out with ease. Her pussy was getting tighter and tighter as you pound into her. The only sounds that were being heard in your room were wet flesh and your bodies clapping together.
You thrusted into her as hard as you could. The room felt cold because of the rain outside, but you and Jinsol were drenched in sweat from the heat your bodies were producing. How Jinsol was moaning because of your dick, how warm and tight she was, how her breasts were jiggling up and down while you thrust into her, all of it was too much for you to handle.
“Harder…” she said, sweat dripping off her body and onto the bed sheets. Her eyes slowly began to droop lazily as she struggled to stay conscious.
“You’re so fucking deep, baby. Oh my god...” She cried out, surprising the both of you as she was still able to form coherent sentences. Eventually, that same sensation in her stomach came to her once more.
“Baby, I’m cumming again!” Jinsol screamed.
“Cum…I’m cumming too, noona!” Your words came out in between each breath.
“Yes, cum inside your noona baby!”
Jinsol’s loud screams and your harsh groans reverberated around the apartment as you fucked her until the pressure building inside you released. You suddenly felt a knot in your stomach, marking your inevitable end. You kissed Jinsol before you exploded all your load into her warm cavern, causing her to have another orgasm. You slowed down your pace and thrust deeper into her so your cum can reach deeper into her cunt. Both of your toes curled from the pleasure as your cock throbbed and released several weaker thrusts inside Jinsol. Her body was still shaking from the aftershocks when her body collapsed on top of yours, your cock still inside her.
After a minute of Jinsol milking everything out from your cock, you pulled out from her, watching how the mixture of your cum and her juices was leaking out from Jinsol’s delicious pussy. You laid down beside her, breathing heavily with your cock glistening in the nighttime light.
“Baby, that was amazing. You fucked me so well.”
“Yeah, it felt great…”
“Uhh, noona? Are you okay? I kinda smacked your ass hard just now.” You asked quickly after, a bit concerned after what you did to her.
“Ahh you’re so silly, baby. Of course I’m okay! I love it when you smack my ass.” Jinsol laughed after her statement. The room went quiet for a moment.
“Noona?”
“Yes, baby?”
“Do you really love me? Not just because I’m good at sex?”
“Baby, I have loved you since the beginning. Not because you have a big dick or you were so good at eating my pussy. It’s because I love your personality and how great of a guy you are. The other things are just a plus.” Jinsol said while staring at you. You were staring at the ceiling to avoid meeting her gaze out of embarrassment.
“…Thanks, noona.” You slowly looked at Jinsol and hugged her. Jinsol reciprocates the hug while smiling. After hugging, you looked into each other's eyes. You both then kissed passionately, not caring what the consequences that the both of you were going to face. After a tender makeout that somehow lasted thirty minutes, Jinsol speaks up.
“Now, let’s clean up, shall we?” You both got off the bed and Jinsol dragged you by the hand into the shower of your room. She turns the shower heads on before stepping into the bathtub and holding onto your hand for you to enter as well.
The warm water calms down your aching muscles from the act earlier, giving you a sense of relaxation. It then becomes scalding hot, making you remember how much Jinsol loved hot showers. Once both of you were fully wet, she grabbed the nearby loofah and poured some body wash onto it. A lightbulb was turned on in Jinsol’s head, and so she decided to put on an erotic show for you by lathering up her deceptively curvy body with the soapy loofah. Her hands went up to her breasts, groping them gently and teasing her nipples until she felt your cock becoming hard again in between her thighs due to the close proximity between you two.
“Baby, you just came two times and you’re already this hard again?” She teased, biting her lower lip.
“I can’t help myself when there’s a beautiful naked woman with me in the shower.” You replied, making Jinsol blush.
“Alright, let’s clean you up.” 
Jinsol took her time in washing you, making sure every inch of your skin is covered in the lavender scented body wash. As she traces the loofah, drawing her name on your chest and down to your stomach, she stops on your lower body. Holding your cock in her hands, she runs the loofah across it, creating a tingling sensation in your body. Jinsol smiled as she slowly began to stroke you while softly biting your nipples. You let out a moan because of the stimulation and slowly move backwards until your legs bump into the edge of the tub, making you sit down on the cold and slippery surface. Then, Jinsol straddles your lap and your hard cock pressed against her stomach as she gave you another passionate, lust-filled kiss.
You finally break the kiss when you both feel too lightheaded and need oxygen. Jinsol does her best to catch her breath, her pink lips slightly puffy and her cheeks flushed. She was the most beautiful woman in the world in your eyes and there was nothing that could change that.
“I thought we were gonna get clean-ahh…” You were cut off by Jinsol’s lips finding their way to the place where your lower jaw and neck meet, nibbling on the skin as she leaves hickeys behind, marking you as hers.
“But I want you so bad, baby.” She murmured just loud enough for you to hear, causing goosebumps to form on your body and your cock to throb against her stomach.
Wrapping her arms around your neck, Jinsol lowers her body as she guides your cock back inside her. The two of you moaned as she slowly lowered herself onto you until she had reached your base completely. Jinsol watched you close your eyes as her tight, velvety walls wrap themselves tightly around you once more. She began bouncing her body up and down, her ass jiggling each time. Her body unconsciously tightens her muscles around you, providing a feeling you couldn’t put into words.
“Noona…do that again.” You breathlessly said.
Jinsol clenched her vaginal muscles around your cock again, tightening you in a firm grip and earning herself your cries of pleasure.
Your hands rested on her cheeks once more, watching Jinsol bounce on your lap. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head when you accidentally discovered a certain sensitive spot within her. With each roll of your hips, you make sure to hit that pressure point.
“Fuck, that feels so fucking good.” She moaned when you took her erect nipples inside your mouth, gently biting on them and mirroring what she did to you.
“Yes baby…” She said as her stomach began to feel heavy, the knot inside her twisting. You continue pounding her newfound sensitive spot, feeling Jinsol’s sharp nails raking your back with scratches as her body trembles with an arriving orgasm.
“Baby!” She screamed repeatedly. You continued rocking Jinsol back and forth and side to side as a way to prolong the duration of her impending orgasm.
“Baby, please...” She begged, blowing hot air gently into your ear and encouraging you to keep going. 
Her eyes fully rolled back into her head as your hips crashed against hers. The water was no longer burning hot, but neither of you cared about the temperature change - only focusing on each other. Jinsol felt so comfortable on your lap and in your arms that her eyes began drooping.
“N-Noona, I’m cumming!” You said, the only semblance of a warning as you made a powerful thrust deep inside her pussy. Your cock throbs as her tight, velvety walls clamped onto your dick. You began pouring hot, thick semen inside Jinsol which once again causes her own orgasm to occur. Both of you are moaning loudly in satisfaction.
“Ahh fuck baby...” Jinsol moaned as it seemed like her body’s default reaction to her orgasms was for her eyes to roll to the back of her head. Her body wriggles in pleasure as she continues lacing together incoherent moans and explicit syllables that made no sense.
Slowly lifting up her hips, you watched as thick gobs of your semen and her juices slowly dripped out of her freshly fucked pussy. You were surprised you were still able to release such a large amount of cum due to your two orgasms that you had earlier. When the two of you are finished, you both catch your breath as she leaned down and gave you tender, passionate kisses. Jinsol is fully satisfied, happy to be in your arms again. But this time, it had a different, a more special meaning. 
After spending two hours having sex in the shower that ended up being dirtier rather than getting clean, you and Jinsol quickly get dressed to go to Seoul to drop her off because she had planned to go shopping with your mom. She didn’t bring any clothes with her, so she borrowed some of yours. She wore one of your hoodies and a pair of shorts that complimented her figure nicely. When she came out from your room after dressing up, you instantly chuckled at how cute she looked wearing your clothes.
“You look so cute, noona!”
“Of course, your noona looks good in everything. Let’s go now, I don’t wanna be late.”
“Okay Jingolas-nim!” You said to her and opened the front door for her. She just glared cutely at you and went out the door. Meanwhile, you smiled, thinking how your life is complete with the newfound existence of an intimate relationship with your stepsister, Jung Jinsol.
510 notes · View notes
mylivejournalsucks · 3 years ago
Text
Didion.
Eve and Joan in one week. Wow. No wonder Los Angeles is raining.
Joan Didion is a drug everyone must try once. Some people get hooked. I was fortunate to be one of those people.
I discovered her writing in a class taught by Mark Greif. I forgot what the class was or what we’re studying. I just remember reading a lot of texts by boring old straight white intellectuals and feeling like the biggest bimbo on planet Earth. At 21 and 22, I still believed there was a certain way to be A Writer and Think About Things. Everything I was introduced to in college made me feel out-of-step, like I didn’t get it and never would. Then Slouching Towards Bethlehem entered the chat. The assignment was to read the essay and discuss how Didion felt about her subjects. Did she like them? Did she care about them? How did her writing style inform her feelings?
I read the essay at the Starbucks on Astor Place (lmao) and was immediately like, “Who is this moody rich bitch who hates everyone and everything?” Her prose was electric. It felt like a song I was finally able to hear. I went to class the next day ready to discuss. It was clear Didion did not think much of these hippies who were frying their brains like eggs on the side of a highway on a 110 degree day. Reading Didion, it felt like she had contempt for most people and most things, besides Los Angeles, New York, and Sacramento.
I immediately devoured everything she wrote. Like any young person with feelings in New York, I read “Goodbye To All That” in my studio apartment in the East Village and thought “OMG...it me.”
After Slouching, I flew to LA for Christmas break and read The White Album, Play It As It Lays, and Year of Magical Thinking back-to-back in an underwhelming coffee shop on Beverly called Buzz that has now been replaced with another underwhelming coffee shop called Andante. (See how I’m listing names and locations? It’s impossible to discuss Joan without falling prey to her tics and quickly realizing A.) that’s not your voice and B.) thank God because no one can measure up to Joan.)
Beyond Play It As It Lays, I didn’t dabble in her fiction because, uh, it’s not as good. In fact, I reread Play It As It Lays in the fall and found it to be nihilistic and overdramatic. (How many fucking freeways does this Weekend At Bernie’s lady Maria have to drive on? Also, when she has, like, a plumbing problem in her mansion in Beverly Hills so she just moves to an apartment in Hollywood instead of dealing with it? #goals)
Joan’s power is in the personal. She speaks with a cool authority. Reading her, it feels like she’s driving you in her Stingray Corvette, weaving in and out of traffic effortlessly, telling you How It Is and you’re just in her trance, nodding along.
I love how unapologetically bougie she was, how her and her husband John seemed low-key kind of like insufferable social climbers in Hollywood. By all accounts, you did not want to get stuck next to Joan at a party. She barely spoke, was fragile, had migraines, was terrified of the weather. She was too smart, too fragile. She was bad at doing Life Things. She wanted to either take her speed and sit at the typewriter or take to the bed.
It might sound like I’m roasting her but I’m really not. I sincerely love everything about this woman! Reading her was the first time I felt like there could be a place for me. Here Joan was, eating chopped salads at La Scala and writing about her feelings for Vogue, and it had real value. More than the pages and pages I read of straight white dudes writing about, like, their dog and quarries. 
I saw Joan once, in conversation with Griffin Dunne at Symphony Space doing promotion for Blue Nights. I use the words “in conversation” loosely. Griffin talked, Joan Didion grunted and looked like she’d rather be anywhere else. I loved it. I loved how cranky and over it she was.
I wrote about the event for my job and the post caught the attention of an editor at The New Yorker. She wanted to meet me for lunch at Conde Nast (working in media in 2011 could be really random) and so I did and we talked and it was lovely. She gave me “Speedboat” by Renata Adler. “If you love Joan,” she said. “You’ll love Renata Adler.”
I read it. I did love it. But It didn’t make me want to sit down and write, like Joan did. Reading Didion feels like being put under a spell. I read one paragraph and I need to write immediately. Otherwise, I sincerely think I might die. I’ve never had that with anyone else’s work and maybe I never will. 
We’re lucky she decided to share her brain with us. And I hope there’s no Santa Ana winds in heaven. Joan was triggered by the Santa Ana winds.
6 notes · View notes
bts-ficrecs · 4 years ago
Text
BTS Bodyguard AUs
Tumblr media
Anon request: Any bodyguard aus you recommend? 🥺
Doth mine eyes deceive me???? bodyguard???? um???? YES???? I…… may have gone overboard…. again….. Lmao Enjoy!~ and remember to give these writers lots of love!!!!
Note: I have not read a majority of these, so I’m super giddy to get into them!~ And as always, if you have a fic that you think should be added lmk and I’ll check it out! ^^
Tumblr media
KIM NAMJOON.
23 by @yoongisbbydoll​
— Genre: angst
— Summary: It never occurred to Namjoon that he would lose such a big piece of himself to you. All those nights spent together, he never realized that he was slowly falling for you and everything you do. He only ever saw himself as a friend to you, someone who protected you at all costs, someone expendable. Namjoon had never even pondered the idea that you could feel the same. 
Because She (and You) Give Me None by @namjooniebjonesuniverse​
— Genre: angst, fluff, ongoing series
— Summary: Ever since he took the throne at the tender age of sixteen, King Kim Seokjin of the Tuhan Kingdoms is seeking to create peace between the Vampire and Shifter races, who have been at odds with each for a decade. In order to demonstrate to his people that said peace is possible, he hires a new security detail for himself and his younger brother. Both of them being Vampires. Crown Prince Kim Namjoon is absolutely thrilled with the idea…
Caged by @mrsmon​
— Genre: angst, fluff, complete series
— Summary: You didn’t turn around. You didn’t have to. In the last three months, you had grown so accustomed to his presence that you could tell when he was around by the way the air shifted and the world seemed to stop in its tracks for the fraction of a second, and with it your heart.
Impossible Ghosts by imlittleredbird & serClizia (AO3)
— Pairing: Namjoon x Seokjin
— Genre: fluff, smut, complete series
— Summary: Namjoon is the crown prince of South Korea and he has 99 problems, all of which are Kim Seokjin. Jin is the personal bodyguard of the prince and has 1 big problem: the way his ears turn red because of his crush - which happens to be the crown prince of South Korea.
Power by @ironicarmy​ (AO3 link)
— Genre: angst, fluff, smut
— Summary: You always go out of your way to remind Namjoon who’s boss. Until he snaps and you find out that he’s the one in charge.
Rotten by @1kook​
— Genre: fluff, smut
— Summary: How bold of him to stick his nose where it doesn’t belong, as if his presence alone doesn’t contribute to the distance your father places between the two of you.
Tumblr media
KIM SEOKJIN.
About Time by @i-would-rather-be-queen​
— Genre: fluff
— Summary: You caught yourself staring at him again. Kim Seokjin.
Borders by @drquinzelharleen​
— Genre: angst, smut, discontinued series
— Summary: Jin has been a faithful and loyal bodyguard to your family for years, not that you’ve noticed. He’s the best at what he does, which is why he has been assigned to take care of you. Of course it’s hard when he’s so unlike anything you’ve ever been around.
Heaven's Light by pact (AO3)
— Pairing: Seokjin x Jungkook
— Genre: angst, series (on hiatus)
— Summary: Kim Seokjin has been raised and trained to serve whatever it is that pleases the clients of the establishment that took him in when nobody else would. But when he is brought up to the palace of The Majestic to be the pet of a prince who shows little concern to anyone who he deems inconvenient to him, Seokjin soon finds himself drowned in a series of manipulation, cruelty, sadism and the spoiled demeanor of a young man who holds the fate of his life between his fingers.
If I Kiss You, I Won't Be Able to Stop by @hoseoksyn​ (AO3)
— Genre: smut
— Summary: The mafia's daughter's crush on her bodyguard reaches breaking point.
Safe and Sound by bazooka (AO3)
— Pairing: Seokjin x Namjoon
— Genre: fluff, twoshot
— Summary: From a tumblr prompt: Jin is a prince, and Namjoon is his bodyguard.  "You're sort of bad at this." "Nah. You're safe, aren't you?"
The Bodyguard by @hollyxqx​
— Genre: smut
— Summary: Seokjin, hired to protect you by your wealthy father, can’t keep his hands off you after a night together. 
Tumblr media
MIN YOONGI.
At Your Service by @magicalsalamander​
— Genre: angst, fluff, smut
— Summary: Your Grandpa adopted him, ex-K-9 police dog hybrid, to kept the auto shop safe. He had to fulfill his vicious guard dog hybrid appeal, but he was putty in your hands. However, when an unexpected event happens you took ownership of Yoongi, your best friend…but when tensions build, will he want to stay with you?
Breaking Point by @i-would-rather-be-queen​
— Genre: fluff, 2shot
— Summary: Months went by with him at your side. He was diligent and always polite but kept a professional distance. It was hard to know what was going through his head. You supposed you didn’t mind. Maybe it was easier for him to do his job that way. But sometimes it irked you that as friendly as you tried to be, he always held a part of himself back.
Orbits by @galaxyseokjin
— Genre: angst, fluff
— Summary: Life in this sector of the galaxy had always been rough, always had been a fight to live. Life as a mercenary never one you thought you’d fall into. But here you were, earning a pretty penny now that you’d made a name for yourself. When you’d accepted the offer to be a body guard for the son of a politician, you expected the life of luxury. Easy days and nights with no worries. Unfortunately for you, Min Yoongi had no intention of falling into that plan.
화양연화 (The Most Beautiful Moment In Life) by sunshinejoon (AO3)
— Pairing: Yoongi x Jimin
— Genre: angst, fluff
— Summary: "With every empty office and every light left on -- it only means that people have left, y'know? They've left, just for a while, to be with their families." He falls silent, before picking back up again. "These people, they're with people they love. People they're trying to love. Or maybe they're all alone in their shitty apartments -- but they're someone to love too, are they not?"  Yoongi exhales, and Jimin thinks he feels it expand, curl against his insides.  "Maybe these lights like the night."
Tumblr media
JUNG HOSEOK.
Guarded By @xjoonchildx​
— Genre: angst, fluff, smut, complete series
— Summary: You’ve tried to separate yourself from your infamous crime family, but a new case has your carefully-constructed world crashing down around you.  now you have to figure out how to heal old wounds and handle the new man who enters your orbit.
Nothing but the Rain by @i-would-rather-be-queen​
— Genre: fluff
— Summary: Most people didn’t know the real role Jung Hoseok played in your life. He was too loud, too impulsive to be seen for what he really was: your bodyguard. Granted, the man had a massive startle reflex so it was hard to imagine him being a dog in any kind of fight.
Protected by @jungk0oksthighs​
— Genre: angst, smut, infidelity warning
— Summary: He was your bodyguard, and he never left your side. As somewhat of a celebrity your brother hired a bodyguard to ensure your safety, but Hoseok was more like a friend than somebody who was paid to be around. It wasn’t always easy though, things became complicated when you started to catch feelings for a man who attended your brother’s masquerade ball with another woman.
Tumblr media
PARK JIMIN.
Don’t Care If It Hurts by @hollyhomburg​
— Genre: angst, fluff, smut, complete series
— Summary: After a rival gang makes an attempt on your life, Your older brother, the infamous leader of Seoul’s largest gang; Kim Namjoon, gets you a guard hybrid; Park Jimin, The reigning champion of Seoul’s underground hybrid fighting ring.
I Blow up Buildings (but I’d Blow You) by sugaretreat (AO3)
— Pairing: Yoongi x Jungkook
— Genre: fluff
— Summary: The AU where Yoongi has been receiving death threats from an enemy organisation known as Skeletal, and Jeon Jeongguk is the lucky bastard brought in to be his bodyguard. Yoongi tries to hate him. He really does.
Knight by junglec0re (AO3)
— Genre: angst, fluff, smut, twoshot
— Summary: In which Jimin is a Prince, and Yoongi is his personal bodyguard that would do anything for him.
Protegere by @taesbetch​
— Genre: angst, fluff, ongoing series
— Summary: In a land where the crown means everything, everything will be risked in order to protect it. when Y/ns older brother dies its time for her to claim the throne, however, she is seen as weak and an easy target to those lurking in the shadows. The park clan has been trained from birth to protect the throne and those on them, but the death of Y/ns Brother and other suspicious events seem to of happened coincidentally close. what happens is something no one is ready for.
Sunflower by @i-would-rather-be-queen​
— Genre: fluff
— Summary: Jimin was your favorite guard. So many of them were gruff and treated you as an inconvenience. A valuable inconvenience to be sure, but still not one with which they wanted to interact. It made sense you supposed. Emotions can cloud judgement and that’s the last thing a bodyguard needs. But from his first day assigned to you Jimin was different. He always made eye contact and smiled warmly. It was a welcome change from being seen as an object.
Tumblr media
KIM TAEHYUNG.
An Ocean Heart by @always-in-an-alternate-universe
— Genre: ongoing series
— Summary: There was once a beautiful woman who was as strong as she was beautiful and as smart as she was strong. She had always been the radiant one in the room, who had a presence that was as deep and rich as the ocean’s depths. In that sense, an ocean was the perfect metaphor for her, because the further you looked into it, the less you saw. It’s hard to say whether or not she was born to be this way or eventually grew into it, after all, she was born into the largest South Korean mafia. 
The President’s Son by @jimlingss​
— Genre: fluff, complete series
— Summary: Kim Taehyung is the President’s son, mischievous and playful, and infamous for being a troublemaker. When everyone’s given up, they call for you to be his personal guard. There’s no other choice when your dad’s assigned you to it and surprisingly Taehyung doesn’t mind either. Maybe because you happened to grow up with that brat.
Tumblr media
JEON JUNGKOOK.
Angel With A Shotgun by @taegonia​
— Genre: angst, fluff, smut, ongoing series
— Summary: You knew that hiring Jungkook as your bodyguard would be a mistake and that it would lead to… unprofessional actions. 
Bodyguard by @minsugapie​
— Genre: fluff, complete series
— Summary: You didn’t want to have someone with you at all times, let alone some butch man you’d never met before. It just didn’t sound appealing to you in the slightest. Plus, how popular were you getting that a man had literally given up his life to serve yours? It wasn’t like you were the goddamn Queen of England.
Crown of Gold by @fairykooks​
— Genre: fluff
— Summary: Jeon Jungkook is the nation’s pride - kind, charismatic, honest, loving, courageous, beautiful. and in love. 
Heavens Will Burn by @gyuten​
— Genre: angst, fluff
— Summary: The truth is that love is only easy for the very lucky few. Jeon Jungkook is in love with someone, and she him. Their love should have come easy, if only life hadn’t given him the biggest misfortune of all: a curse to never be able to touch others without harming them. To Jungkook, his love becomes nothing but sweet pain.
I Found Peace (in your body’s skin) by Ahgamo (AO3)
— Pairing: Jungkook x Yoongi
— Genre: angst, ongoing series
— Summary: Prince Jeon Jungkook has been receiving death threats for a couple of months. They hire one Agent Kim (not Taehyung) to guarantee The Prince’s safety. When the assassin makes his first move, killing Agent Kim in the process, they hire one Min Yoongi to protect Korea’s Prince instead. Jungkook isn’t happy with his replacement.
My Terms by @nomnomsik​
— Genre: smut, yandere warning, ongoing series
— Summary: Relatively close in age and similar hidden personalities, an idol and bodyguard discuss secret terms unbeknownst to the company. What will come about them and what exactly did they discuss?
Now Breathe by @hereforaus​
— Genre: angst, smut, ongoing series
— Summary: People invading your personal space is one of the top most annoying thing to ever exist on earth and your overprotective politician mother hiring a personal bodyguard for you didn’t help at all.
Off Guard by @diortae​ (AO3 link)
— Genre: fluff, horny jk so
— Summary: bodyguard!jungkook and rich girl!y/n who has made it her mission to make the 25th bodyguard, jungkook’s life hell to make him quit but jungkook’s one tough cookie who’s always thinking one step ahead of her.
Only You by shellflower (AO3)
— Genre: angst, fluff, smut, ongoing series
— Summary: It didn't surprise you when you were chosen as one of the top 4 students at the Security Protection Program. It surprised you a little to learn that you would be assigned to one of the four Heirs to the throne. It surprised you a lot to learn that the prim and proper Princes were...not quite what you imagined. Despite this, you would do anything to protect them with your life. And you will.
Order by @rainwards​
— Genre: angst, twoshot
— Summary: In which you give Jungkook a very important order.
Protection by @koosgrl​
— Genre: angst, fluff, smut
— Summary: “you can’t protect me.” Being the heir of a mafia empire has its pros and cons, what you hated the most was the annoying body guards who were constantly glued to you. however, you always found a way to get rid of them, until you met jeon jungkook that is.  
Stubborn Love by @hoseoksyn​
— Genre: angst, smut, infidelity warning
— Summary: Love is not a choice, this much you knew. for a girl like you, neither was marriage. married off to a prince, you had the life most girls would dream of. but your dream didn’t end with prince charming. yours ended with your loyal bodyguard that you could never have.
— Mai’s Thots: READ THIS AND THEN CRY BC ANGST AND THEN CRY AGAIN BC SAM IS WRITING A SEQUEL
The Bodyguard by @letspurpletogether​
— Genre: angst, smut, ongoing series
— Summary: Your father is the Don, so you’ve pretty much had enemies your whole life. But when he fails to protect you like he should, you realize maybe it’s time for you to take the matters into your own hands and gather your own men. Perhaps, starting with that tattoed fellow over there with the bad attitude.
The Singing Guardian by @sugaabooga​
— Genre: fluff
— Summary: “A singer!” your five-year old self gleefully smiles at your teacher with your chubby hands clasped together in a dreamy-like way. Your teacher gives you a warm smile as she writes down ‘SINGER’ in big fat letters on your assignment sheet. “Well, Y/N. I’m sure you’ll be a wonderful singer. Contact me when you become famous!”
True Care by @joonsgalaxy​ (AO3 link)
— Genre: angst, fluff, smut, ongoing series
— Summary: your (endearingly) shy bodyguard—hired by your father—would do anything for you. even though you roll your eyes at his persistence and pretend there’s no need for him to follow you to every and any place you go, there might be many more hazards in your life than you let on. and you might end up needing him in more ways than you—or your father—would ever think.
Untitled by @an-exotic-writer​
— Genre: fluff
— Summary: The morning had been a bit too quiet for your liking and you can’t decide if it’s a good thing or a bad thing.
Tumblr media
OT7:
Sanctuary by @minniepetals​
— Genre: angst, fluff
— Summary: Sometimes home isn’t a specific destination, sometimes home is when you’re crying and they reach out to hold you in their arms despite the rules. sometimes home is what you call their arms, your sanctuary.
congrats. you made it to the end.
216 notes · View notes
ectonurites · 4 years ago
Note
for the character headcanons ask, tim or steph
i ended up doing both LMAO
so for Tim:

A (realistic headcanon): i will stand by this being realistic but TIM CONTINUING TO SKATEBOARD! like okay yes in canon he only used redboard like twice, and once he had his car back he didn’t really rely on it, but he put the time into learning how to and really enjoyed it! i think it would be fun to see him do it more and like i think steph could also skate with him (altho honestly she has more roller skate energy to me but they could still hang out at a skatepark together) i also have this idea for a fic im at some point going to write of Damian finding redboard and Tim being like ‘oh i can show u how to use that-‘ and him being like ‘NO i will do it on my own’ but eventually it becomes a whole bonding thing for them
B (hilarious): other people joke about this a lot but Tim skateboarding around Wayne Enterprises will NEVER cease to amuse me. just the general chaos of a seventeen year old in a power position like that. I think like Lucius and Tam would keep record of stupid shit he does (skateboarding in the office, Interesting fashion choices, the mountain of mugs and takeout containers that build on his desk, his use of glitter gel pens on official documents, threats to pull a seto kaiba and make WE’s primary goals be trading card related, etc) and make a lil scrapbook to give him on his 21st birthday or something when he’s like Slightly More of an adult
C (heart-crushing): Young Justice being Tim’s first friends he can feel real around that he doesn’t think are going to just be temporary. like... i’ve done a lot of rambling about Tim and again we know he’s a kid who grew up going from boarding school to boarding school, he could make friends easily enough but they were very... fleeting. they weren’t meant to last and he went into it knowing that. even though at the start of the group he couldn’t tell them everything, I feel like Young Justice were just the people he eventually was able to be himself the most around, since he didn’t need to hide being Robin. (again him needing to hide being Tim for a while definitely created some distance, but it was very different than hiding the whole hero life from people he knew at home and at school) and then ya know the core four group moving onto the titans together further solidifying this sense of ‘we are a group who can get through stuff together’... until it all falls the fuck apart after Kon dies. and Tim & Cassie have their weird bad coping things. and Bart dies. i think for Tim it would just be so crushing to have the first group he was able to consider being more permanent fall apart like that (not to mention his dad and steph dying around the same time on top of it- being two of the other types of relationships [familial and a romantic partner] that had more permanence to him) and even when people come back and bonds heal, that sense of stability would just forever be shattered, he lost them once and knows that it could happen again and that fear would always be there in the back of his mind
D (canon is a coward and won’t): that he is bisexual LMAO
aaand now Steph
A (realistic headcanon): alright this is kinda canon related but okay. we have seen MULTIPLE alternate versions of Steph with really short hair (future state, that time she imagined herself as nightwing, earth-3) so i really feel like by current-ish canon she’s already thinking about chopping her hair off, like it’s one of those ideas that just every now and then she’ll see someone with super short hair and be like oh... i want that... but never really go through with it (like she’s had some kinda short looks preboot but i think the shortest was like a bob. im talking pixie cut here) and like im imagining maybe after some mission her hair gets caught on something or even burned or idk and she just says fuck it and her, Cass and Tim get back to one of their apartments/a safehouse after patrol and cut her hair in the bathroom at like 4am (yes im aware i place many situations in the middle of the night in the bathroom with friends... [like that timkon fic i wrote a bit ago] its just such a special setting okay) like Cass with the scissors Tim’s holding up a reference pic Steph found on pinterest. it looks great once it’s done
B (hilarious): the eggplant vs purple thing. i think that now in this post death metal world of dc, where everyone’s remembering things from before the reboot, steph should have a small mental breakdown about how she betrayed her old self by rallying behind the color purple (‘enemy of crime and people who hate purple!’) vs how she used to be so insistent her color scheme was eggplant (‘its eggplant. purple would look stupid’). everyone else is having their brains break because of like conflicting memories of their traumas (and she’s got that goin on too, dont get me wrong, she’ll get to freaking out about that later) but steph is just sitting there staring at a color wheel trying not to cry
C (heart-crushing): i’ve seen some fics explore this a little but i think she’d end up doing a lot of thinking about her baby that she gave up for adoption. like that was something she experienced so young and i feel that would just always be a lurking thought in her mind, where is the baby? is she happy? gotham’s a dangerous city, there’s a lot to be afraid about there. Not that she wouldn’t already because she is just a caring big sister type of person, but I think Steph looking out for all the kids in Gotham (especially once she’s batgirl) in some small part could tie back to wanting to make sure her kid is safe out there wherever she ended up. (additionally since she had a rough upbringing with her whole dad situation she just especially is protective over kids anyways. Sometimes I think she might get kinda insecure about it… maybe even question herself about why she’s saving people, is it because she genuinely cares or is it something more selfish? it’s definitely a self doubt i could see manifesting)
D (canon is a coward and won’t) not to be repetitive but also that she is bi i will stand by this
50 notes · View notes
worldwidemochiguy · 5 years ago
Text
Reticence (soft! Yandere Hoseok)
Tumblr media
Summary: You were always terrified of getting kidnapped when you were younger, and now that you’ve been taken by a man who claims to want to take care of you, you recede within yourself so far you refuse to even eat... but Hoseok is determined to let nothing hurt you, not even yourself.
Warnings: Kidnapping, kind of Stockholm syndrome, mentions of not eating so if you’re sensitive to that kind of stuff pls be careful <3 Yandere behaviour, though I am kind of romanticising it in this fic, please remember that that is all it is: Fiction. Obviously in real life this behaviour would be unacceptable and horrifying. 
Word Count: 2.2K
Masterlist :)
a/n: my first hobi fic!!! this is for @kpopgirlbtssvt​ from a request made about a billion years ago (sorry :/ ) for made-for-each-other verse! Yandere Hobi with a shy reader who wouldn’t talk even though he begged her to, and then him coming home from work to her telling him she missed him and was glad he was home. this was a lil less fluffy and a lil more angsty than i intended, but its still a ‘happy ending’ bc im a weak bitch with simple pleasures, what can i say lmao
Reticence
“What do you want for breakfast, sunshine?” 
Silence. 
Hoseok sighed, then straightened up again, walking over to the refrigerator. You remained sat by the kitchen island, empty gaze fixed on the marble countertop. 
“Omelettes it is, then!” He exclaimed with artificial excitement, trying to be cheery in the face of your taciturnity, but even the sunshiney optimist that was Hoseok was finding it more difficult than he expected. He had hoped that by now you would’ve accepted him, but you remained as quiet and unresponsive as the day he brought you home. Not that you thought of it as ‘home’ yet, but he hoped you would eventually. Hoseok was not a patient man, but he was willing to wait forever for you. 
You didn’t even blink when he set the plate down in front of you. It didn’t seem like you were going to attempt to eat it either. Hoseok sighed. He could understand if you didn’t want to talk to him yet — even though it had been months and he’d been nothing but kind to you — but he drew the line at refusing to eat. 
You had lost weight. The cute cheeks he loved to watch bunch up as you smiled were now sunken. Your beautiful figure which he had admired from afar was starting to become worryingly waif-like. Hoseok frowned, a crinkle between his brows forming for the first time as his usually exuberant features warped with agitation.
“Listen, Y/n-” Hoseok sat down at the kitchen island across from you, bracing his forearms against the table and leaning forwards. “You have to eat. I promise there’s nothing in it that could hurt you. Look, I’ll even eat it myself!” Hoseok carved out a small piece of the omelette and popped it in his mouth, exaggerating his chewing and swallowing. “See?” You offered no reaction, and Hoseok felt his disappointment join the omelette on its way down to his stomach. 
“I can understand that you maybe aren’t so happy with me right now, but that doesn’t mean you have to punish yourself. Just, please, please stop shutting me out.” His pleading tone did nothing to move you. You just sat there like a ghost, and a groan of frustration slipped out of Hoseok. 
“Please! I’m begging you! Just eat! I don’t understand, all I want to do is take care of you! All I want to do is love you, why won’t you accept me? Why won’t you even talk to me?” 
The only sound was Hoseok’s harsh breaths after his outburst. If he couldn’t see the slow rise and fall of your chest, Hoseok would think you weren’t alive at all. He slumped in his seat, allowing himself to wallow in self-pity for a moment, before forcing himself to get up and ready for work. When he passed through the kitchen again on his way out the door you were still sitting there, staring at the countertop. 
The front door banged shut, the sound echoing in the apartment. Then, silence. And then, very quietly, the noises of cutlery moving against a plate and chewing. 
~~~~~~
“I don’t know what to do~” Hoseok whined, his head buried in his hands. Around him, his shocked friends were gathered in an informal circle. Each of them had an expression with varying degrees of surprise and confusion — they had never seen Hoseok, the literal personification of sunshine, so dismayed. 
“It’ll be ok, Hoseok. I know it’s bad at the moment, but you just have to wait until she trusts you. Once you achieve her trust, you’ll both be the happiest you’ve ever been.” Taehyung reassured him. Taehyung was obviously the source of authority, since him and his wife were basically the perfect couple. 
“But what if she never trusts me?” Hoseok fretted, before groaning again. “She won’t even eat! I don’t know what to do, I’m just watching her slowly starve in front of me and she won’t even look at me!” The rest of the group paused as they digested this new information. It seemed this girl was particularly stubborn.
“Force feed her then.” Jin shrugged and Hoseok’s head shot up in outrage.
“No! I could never hurt her like that!”
“You’re hurting her by letting her starve.” Jeongguk pointed out, and Namjoon smacked the back of his head, chastising. Meanwhile, Hoseok looked like he was about to cry.
“Listen, Hoseok, are you sure this girl is the one?” Jimin questioned, bracing his clasped hands on his knees. 
“I know she is.” Hoseok replied with a conviction he rarely used. “The second she came into my life, it was like I was born again and she was the first thing I saw. The only thing I could see. Her face- God, it just… glows. She’s like sunshine. She’s an angel. She’s so beautiful and kind and fragile and I want to protect her from everything, and I don’t deserve her but no one else does either and I know we’re meant to be together. If I thought I could’ve let her go, I would have. But I can’t. I have to have her, she has to be mine.” 
The circle of men was quiet for a second, before a quiet chuckle broke the silence. 
“Well then,” Yoongi rasped, “if she’s all that you say she is-”
“She is.” Hoseok interjected fiercely.
“Then all you can do is have a little patience.”
~~~~~~~~~~
It was incredibly boring being kidnapped. Especially when your kidnapper did nothing interesting except make bad food and dance along to music from the TV surprisingly well and cry sometimes when you wouldn’t look at him. Frankly, it would have been easier if he were more of the torturey-type, because it was really hard to stay stubborn in the face of his sparkling eyes and radiant smile.
When you were younger, there was a poster up on the wall of your homeroom at school. On it was an old man with an ugly sneer and a beige trench-coat, with the slogan ‘DON’T TALK TO STRANGERS’ superimposed in glaring red letters. You used to stare up at the poster and wonder how anyone could be so stupid as to talk to someone who looked like that. 
You were never afraid to yell ‘STRANGER DANGER’ at the highest decibel your little lungs could manage whenever a person brushed too close to you in the mall. It was almost a habit — you were avidly fixated on your own personal safety, much to your mother’s chagrin and public embarrassment. Being banned from all the surrounding stores within a 20 mile radius had two consequences:
You had to drive forty minutes for a new pair of socks.
You stayed at home a lot more than you went out.
You became a homebody, and it was certainly not something you were unhappy about. Staying safe in your room meant there was less risk for someone to kidnap you. The comforting layer of your blanket was a shield from everything bad in the world. When your parents were arguing constantly, screaming at each other every other night, you would just tuck yourself in and read a bedtime story on your own since they were both occupied. When your parents eventually divorced, you buried yourself under your duvet rather than answer their questions about who you wanted to stay with, and what your preference was. When your mom died in a car crash, and your dad started drinking, your mattress was the shoulder you could cry on, your blanket was a warm arm holding you close. You had always felt safe in your bed. Perhaps that was why you were having such an averse reaction to being taken from it.
Hoseok was not a man with an ugly sneer and a trench coat. He had an impeccable sense of style, and his smile was breathtaking on the few occasions that it appeared. You more often saw his face twisted into a pained grimace. For a kidnapper, he was awfully sensitive. You were pretty sure it was reasonable for you to be holding grudge, and it’s not as if you were actively fighting against him or anything. You were just refusing to acknowledge him. You were highly skilled at repressing things, or ignoring them, and you were resolved to do the same now. 
By 7 o’ clock, your resolve was slightly eroded. Hoseok always arrived back at half-past 5 on the dot. He was a very punctual person, and you felt an unwelcome sense of worry curl along the edges of your mind as the clock counted away the seconds of him not being there. You remembered feeling the same way when you waited for your mom to pick you up from your dads, watching the clock hand sweep past the numbers, increasingly taunting. Of course, you hadn’t realised that she was at the time caught in between a lorry with a drunk driver and a very steep incline. You wondered if you were being similarly clueless now. 
When the door clicked open at quarter to 9, you had to restrain yourself from exhaling in relief. Hoseok came in looking slightly disheveled, his collar undone and his hair mussed as if he had ran his hands through it over and over again. He gave you a quick once over to see if you were alright, shot you a small, forced smile and then went straight to his bedroom, shutting the door behind him.
That was odd. He never closed the door to his bedroom. He had always left it open in case you needed anything, despite your refusal to acknowledge him. First, his late arrival and now yet another uncommon action? You felt curiosity bubble within you. That was it. Curiosity. It’s not that you were at all worried about him, you were just being nosy. Of course. 
You tiptoed towards the door, tracing a finger around the door frame lightly. What if he didn’t even come out again for dinner? You doubted he had dined out without you, he had been eating his meals sitting across from you while you refused to touch yours since the day he stole you. You really should check on him, if only for the fact that if he dies then you’re trapped here with a high chance of starvation.
Before you could convince yourself not to, you opened the door and stepped inside. The only light-source came from the moonlight filtering through the window, casting Hoseok’s form lying on the bed in a deep blue. His eyes, which you assumed had been closed previously, shot open to observe you as he propped himself up on the backs of his forearms.
“Y/n.” He rasped, and a pleasant shiver ran down your spine. “D-do you need anything?” His tone was both excited and confused, probably because you had literally never directly interacted with him before. 
You didn’t speak, and for the first time your silence was due to speechlessness, rather than a conscious desire.
“I-I, uh,” You stuttered, and Hoseok sat up ramrod straight, hearing your voice for the first time. “You… were late home.”
Hoseok felt like he couldn’t breathe. Your voice was so soft and pretty, fuck, and you were actually looking at him, you were actually talking to him, holy shit- and you called the apartment home. You said he was late ‘home’. Hoseok somehow managed to keep his shit together. 
“I was?”
“Yes.” You confirmed with a small nod of your head. Fuck, you were so cute. “You normally come back at half five. It’s almost nine now.”
“I’m sorry. I was working late.” He was staying at the office because he felt guilty for not taking proper care of you and wanted to avoid seeing the proof of your unhappiness, but you didn’t need to know that. 
“It’s ok.”
You remained standing at the foot of the bed, locked in his gaze. The bed looked so comfortable, moulding to support his body, and his warm body was exactly the comforting presence you were searching for all those years ago and you found yourself asking,
“Can I sleep in the bed with you?” 
It was a quiet, timid suggestion but Hoseok reacted to it like a bombshell. His eyes practically popped out of their sockets and his entire body tensed. You were about to rescind your offer when he reached out a tugged a corner of the blanket down, welcoming you into the warmth. 
You awkwardly sat on the edge of the mattress, nudging off your house slippers with your toes before slipping under the covers. The relief was instantaneous, shrouded in comforting and familiar warmth, and you couldn’t stop yourself from plastering yourself against his side, arm reaching out tentatively to rest on his chest. You felt his muscles jump under your touch, before his arm slid under you and tucked around your shoulders, drawing you into him closer. You closed your eyes, letting out a quiet little sigh, and you let yourself say the words you wish you could’ve said all those years ago when your mother never returned.
“I’m glad you’re home. I missed you.” 
1K notes · View notes
clean-bands-dirty-stories · 4 years ago
Text
Special Skill ~ J.P. (part 1)
A/n: After Drive By part 2 WIPED me the fuck out, I tried to rejuvenate myself with some lighter content and ended up realizing that I actually ADORE Bradley Steven Perry, so I went back and watched some old shows and movies he’s in. When I stumbled on Pants on Fire... well, you know I had to ;) This was the piece I was so excited about! It’ll be a two parter because I cannot do all of ANYTHING in one part it seems lmao
Warning: This is male reader and also PURELY self indulgent. Also, LOTS of lying and manipulation. Being ignored. Highschool. Nothing too serious.
Word Count: 5600+
MASTERLIST
Tumblr media
Everyone has a special skill. Some people are just really great at school. Some people are fast learners. Some people are natural, easily funny. Some people are good with kids. Some people were fantastic at keeping promises, or never failed to do what they felt had to be done no matter the cost.
Jack Parker's special skill was lying.
Y/n's special skill was being completely invisible.
Not like in a  superhero way, but in a high school way. Y/n was really quiet and reserved. He wasn't caught up in the normal high school things like relationships and popularity. In fact, he was withdrawn on purpose, finding most kids his age to be really annoying or ridiculous on some level. He was never rude, but he did prefer people watching and laughing to himself, to actually interacting with others.
He never meant to eavesdrop, it was just that he'd be sitting on the floor, leaning against a book shelf reading a book when someone on the other side of the bookshelf would start talking about something that he tuned into without thinking. Or, his quietness allowed people to forget that they weren't alone while walking or riding the bus and they'd talk loud enough for him to hear when he wasn't too far away. He perhaps could have tried harder to avoid people and give them their space, and he almost had... until one day he'd overheard Jack Parker and his best friend Ryan talking about something so very interesting that it convinced him to never stop listening to people ever again.
Jack Parker was... an interesting person, let's start there. A few people were pretty sure that half the things he said were true out of sheer improbability. However, Jack was such an amazing liar that no one could prove him wrong, and after a while even the ones who disbelieved him the most fell for his confidence and charisma. He just SEEMED like he was telling the truth. Everyone believed Jack when he told them something happened, especially when he became a local hero for tutoring some boy from another school. Mikey.
Well, almost everyone believed him at least. His very best friend, Ryan, knew the truth because Jack had told him. And Y/n knew because he'd been within earshot when Jack had told Ryan in the first place.
It had been what usually happens. The two boys had been in the back of the bus, as they both got off at the last stop - along with Y/n. They didn't know this though, because Y/n sat in front of them, just a few seats. He didn't talk, or even move a lot. He even sunk a lot into his seat as he was quite small, and leaned against the window to look outside, one earphone in his ear. As usual, his weird talent to be invisible no matter how hard he tried - for god's sake he was wearing a neon red jacket that day - he went completely undetected. So when Jack had explained to Ryan that he had lied about Mikey, and what it meant for them, Y/n had been well within ear shot to hear the whole thing.
Y/n could have told someone. Probably should have. But he had... a sort of crush on Jack, and selling him out wouldn't get Y/n anywhere with getting on the boy's good side. Not to mention, there weren't many people that would believe him - if there were any at all. He probably could have figured out a way to show Jack up. To rip apart his tapestry of lies and expose him to everyone. But Y/n believed that mistakes should be learned from. If he exposed Jack now, all that would happen is that Jack's life would be ruined and Jack would hate him. Things would come out eventually, and hopefully it would be from Jack himself. If that damage had to be done, Y/n wasn't going to be the one to do it.
He never really was, though. He never did much of anything.
All of that being said, Jack and Ryan were not the only ones stunned when the very Mikey that had been a ruse, suddenly turned up at school. Solid and smiling and talking and very much real. He passed every test and followed through treating Jack exactly how you'd expect Mikey to be. With him came Jack's super hot girlfriend from Arizona, even though Jack was so obviously crushing on one of the girls at school - Jenny. If that hadn't been bad enough, Jack and Ryan themselves broke into the room where Y/n was having shop class, being chased by lumberjacks who seemed to have it out for Jack. Weirdly enough, that fit another one of Jack's lies - once he'd broken his arm apparently single handedly fighting off two lumberjacks, but Y/n had seen Jack at the bike park the day before, and had seen him fall and break his arm, so he'd known better. Seeing them here now worried Y/n. So of COURSE he offered to take the two men out of the school where they belonged, and used it as an opportunity to dip out of class and follow after Jack to see if anymore of the lies Jack had told had come true.
Maybe even figure out what the hell was going on, and stop it.
Jack probably didn't deserve it, but if this got serious then Jack would be in danger from lumberjacks and aliens and pro wrestlers alike - and those were just the lies Y/n had heard about. Life was hard enough without your life being in danger, and that directly putting others' lives in danger as well. Y/n usually sat back and did nothing, but this wasn't one of those times.
After school, Y/n decided to go home - he wasn't going to follow Jack THAT far. But only the very next day, the rumor that Jack had been outside Jenny's house covered in all kinds of different things - including makeup - Y/n realized that maybe Jack needed an extra pairs of eyes to help him out. Unfortunately, Y/n lost Jack pretty early in the day as none other than Mikey himself approached after having a short exchange with Ryan and Jack. "Hey!" he greeted warmly.
Y/n stared back for a few seconds. Mikey seemed to get uncomfortable - the first negative reaction he'd had to literally anyone his entire time being here. "Hi," Y/n finally responded evenly, narrowing his eyes.
The response seemed to cheer Mikey up again. "Now that I'm transferring schools and coming here permanently, I think I want to make friends outside of Jack. He seems to be close with everyone here on some level, except for you and a few others. Figured I'd try each of you guys until someone - or even all of you - want to be my friend too!"
That made Y/n smirk. "I know you're full of shit."
Apparently, Mikey hadn't been expecting that. "I'm sorry?"
Shaking his head, Y/n scoffed. "I know Jack lied about there even being a Mikey. If you're just here to psyche Jack out, or for some magic thing, why are you trying to be friends with ME? No one wants to be friends with me."
This time it was Mikey who didn't respond right away. "You're less invisible than you think. I saw you in the window yesterday, watching me and Jack. I also saw you take those lumberjacks out of the school, which probably saved the boys a lot of time. I also saw you following Jack around the rest of school after that. You're the only one in this entire school who seems to be questioning anything." He smirked. "I have a friend who would really appreciate your help, especially since you know the truth about Jack... if you wanted to get him back for it."
Okay that wasn't what Y/n had been expecting. "Will I finally know what's going on?" Mikey nodded. "Will I have to participate in duping Jack?"
Mikey only shrugged. "We'll see what she says. Probably not."
How could he say no? "Who's this she, and what are you guys up to?"
Finally, that huge grin returned to Mikey's face. "I'm so glad you asked."
-
When Hannah had finished explaining the lengths she'd gone to in order to shake Jack up enough to finally tell everyone all he'd been lying about, Y/n had only one thing to say. "So you're lying to him to get him to come clean about lying to everyone else? At least now we know for sure you're both related."
That made her go a little red. "Listen, you have a little sister. You bring her to the fun center all the time." To that Y/n had to nod. "I see the way you sort of blend. I've picked Jack up from school for enough years now that I also notice the way you look at him." Y/n went stiff and Hannah chuckled. "Listen. He's a tool, and I have NO idea what you see in him, knowing what you know. But if you help me do this, maybe I'll help you out with your dilemma."
Y/n crossed his arms over his chest, suddenly not in a very cheery mood. "As much as I appreciate the thought Hannah, I'd rather like him from a distance than have to be friends with a straight boy I've liked for years okay? I'll keep my mouth shut - don't make any other promises you can't keep. Especially because-" Y/n swallowed a thick something caught in his throat. "He likes someone else.
There was an odd look on Hannah's face, but it was hard to read and she wasn't about to explain it which was most clear when she just kept on talking. So Y/n dismissed the look altogether. "Fine, that's fair." They parted ways there as Y/n noticed Jack and Ryan walking over to head home. Y/n had left class early to talk to Hannah in the empty parking lot, but now his time was up. "See you around, Hannah. Good luck." She winked and the boys shot Y/n confused looks as they got in the car and he left. As he went, he could hear them asking Hannah who he was, but she just said that Y/n had been asking for advice because they worked together, and left it there.
With how easy the words had left Hannah, and with how much confidence she'd had, perhaps Jack's talent for lying was more of a family thing than Hannah would like to admit. The thought amused Y/n enough to cheer him up. For now at least.
The next day in PE very quickly ruined his mood again though, as they were set up to play dodge ball. Mikey ended up being one of the team leaders, and he chose Y/n first to be on his team. Everyone was surprised. No one ever picked Y/n first. Even standing in front of them dressed in bright blue and red, he still blended into the crowd and it was often that not until everyone else had been picked they even realized he was there at all. Unfortunately, Y/n knew why Mikey saw Y/n so clearly. Why Mikey had picked him first. And he wasn't happy about it.
During the games, Mikey didn't talk much to Y/n which was appreciated, but the attitude Y/n gave him every time they DID interact seemed to catch Jack's attention - exactly what he didn't want to happen. Especially when a few games in everyone was picked off one by one until Jack and Ryan stood against Y/n and Mikey. Two on two, with Jack's eyes trained on Y/n in a way that made Y/n feel like he was going to explode. Perhaps it was that exact energy that demanded to be used that had driven him to pick up a ball and throw it at Ryan, nailing the red head right in the chest. "Nice shot!" Mikey congratulated. Y/n rolled his eyes.
In his moment of distraction, Jack hit Y/n with a ball as well. Y/n looked over when he was hit and the two boys' eyes locked. Jack seemed to be asking a question Y/n didn't want to even look at. Didn't want to hear, let alone answer. So he ducked his head and dipped, bee lining it for the water fountain on the opposite end of the gym to wait out the rest of the game so he could have as little downtime as possible to interact with Jack. It was that action which caused him to miss Jack nailing Jenny in the face with a ball aimed for Mikey, but he'd hear enough about it later to plenty make up for it.
After class was lunch, and Y/n would have made it peacefully to his usual spot under the bleachers, but Hannah stopped him on the way. Y/n was expecting her to ask him to be nicer to Mikey, but her eyes were only full of concern. "Mikey told me what happened in PE. How Jack noticed you, and how you ran away. He said you looked upset."
Y/n sighed, his shoulders sagging. "Honestly I just..." He wasn't used to having someone care about him, or talking about his feelings. It felt so promising to finally be able to, but also terrifying. Perhaps he and Hannah were in cahoots now, but she had no reason to actually care about Y/n. She was probably only asking to make sure that he didn't slip and tell Jack anything, which gave the thought that once this whole thing was over, she wouldn't care anymore. That meant Y/n could NOT get attached to her. Temporary things weren't worth putting effort into. "Nothing. I'm just used to noticing, not being noticed. Mikey sort of drew attention to me when he picked me first and it threw me off." He shrugged. "Now if you'll excuse me-"
"Hannah?" The sound of his voice made Y/n freeze, perfectly still. Not even breathing. "Drive us to Funland."
"Please?" She prompted, eyes staying purposefully away from Y/n, who kept his back to Jack but was still unfortunately in full view of her.
"Hannah," Jack tried again, voice laced with irritation. "Drive us to Funland. Please." the last word came out sarcastic and sharp. Y/n felt himself relaxed, ever amused by Jack's unceasing attitude.
"No," Hannah answered bluntly, smirking as she crossed her arm. Y/n actually smiled, and that only served to encourage her even more.
"Come on," Jack complained.
Ryan seemed to be less sure about wanting to go though. "We can't go back there," he reminded urgently. "Otis banned us for life." Y/n shot a look at Hannah, whose smirk only grew. Y/n had known for a long time that she worked at Funland - after all, he did take his little sister there like she'd said. He was beginning to wonder what shenanigans he'd been missing out on.
"We have no choice," Jack argued, turning to his friend. "If we want to get rid of Mikey once and for all, we have to find that purple hippo."
That caught Y/n off guard, and without thinking he turned to face Jack, too confused to think clearly. "I'm sorry, you're looking for Hurley?"
Jack only then seemed to realized Y/n was there, and he stopped a second, as if realizing it was the same kid who's been playing dodge ball with Mikey. Ah yes, back to being invisible. "No," Jack picked up again. "We're talking about a purple hippo at Funland who stands around and hands out balloons."
"Yeah," Hannah said this time. "His name's Hurley. And he doesn't hand out balloons."
"Well, when Emma and I went yesterday, Bart was off," Y/n piped up, directing that at Hannah. He didn't want to address Jack yet, and every time he looked at Ryan, the red head had gears turning so visibly not even his narrowed eyes could hold it off.
"That explains it," Hannah affirmed, nodding.
Jack was the next one to pipe in. "How do you two know all this?"
Hannah answered that one. "Jack, I've worked there for two years. I see Y/n there all the time with his little sister."
"Seriously?" Jack's shoulder relaxed, and Y/n realized that he'd pieced together why Y/n and Hannah were so casually talking to each other. He must have paid as close attention to Hannah as he did to Y/n though, because Y/n and Hannah had never really talked until all of the recent stuff that had been happening.
That theory was confirmed when Hannah huffed, "Where did you think I was going for four hours every day after school?"
"Well I don't know." Jack's eyes went wide as he shrugged. "I was just happy you were out of the house." Hannah sighed and took Y/n's arm to drag him after her as she began to walk away. There was only a second before Jack trailed after them, desperation leaking into his voice. "Hannah," he pleaded. "Hannah, please!"
Hannah was strong. Y/n wasn't. He pulled out of her grasp, turning to face Jack. "If you're really set on finding Hurley for whatever weird breakdown you seem to be having, his main habitat is the jungle mini golf course. Look for him there, okay?"
Jack grinned. "I like your new friend Hannah. He's awesome."
Y/n looked away to hide his blush.
"Yeah yeah, now go," Hannah dismissed, and the two boys ran off to go find Hurley. She grinned at Y/n when they were gone. "You know I'm Hurley, right?"
Y/n winced. "I know that now."
She giggled. "It's fine. This could be a good thing actually. They seem lost - I'll give em a little nudge." She leaned closer, bumping her shoulder with his. Her finger on the other arm reached up to tap his nose. "Push him in all the right directions." She winked, and then took off walking without Y/n this time, leaving him with a sinking dread in his stomach.
He pushed it down to take Emily to Funland just like he always did though... which had been a mistake. He thought that it would have been a big enough place to avoid Jack and Ryan, but only an hour later they were heading out of the jungle mini golf course when Ryan walked up to them, which of course meant Jack followed after. "Hey, I never caught your name?"
Y/n wished in that moment he could just die on the spot. "It's Y/n," he answered, hoping that would make Ryan go away. Long story short: it didn't.
"You've been coming here with Emma for a few years," Ryan continued. "Do you have any idea who Hubert could be?”
"Hurley," Y/n corrected tiredly. Ryan nodded. Y/n let his eyes drift away, searching out Emma as she climbed the rock wall. Unlike Jack, he wasn't good at lying. People never asked him questions - they never talked to him at all. But he had to lie. On some level. He DID know who Hurley was, but he couldn't exactly tell Jack that. Damnit Hannah, why did she have to tell him?! "Not really," Y/n finally caved. Ryan rose an eyebrow. "I mean I saw Hurley without a head once when I first came here, but they were fired as far as I know so I'm assuming it's someone new. That was three and a half years ago." It was truthful in full. Aside from the just the story, he didn't really know Hannah personally. He could have told them he knew it was her now, but he just. Didn't. Everything else had enough truth to it that it wasn't hard to sell.
Jack stepped up. "This probably makes no sense to you, but I just wanted to thank you for helping out. I think I've seen you around school a few times, but we've never like talked or anything. I just have to ask... why ARE you helping?"
Y/n shrugged. "I hate lying, and there's no harm in telling you what I did." Only then did he look away from Emma again as she began to reach the bottom of the rock wall, directly into Jack's eyes. "You have a lot going for you. It would be a shame if some unexpected drama were to ruin everything else." Jack's eyebrows came together, but before he could say anything Emma had reached the bottom and had made her way over - as Y/n had intended.
"Who are your friends?" the ten year old asked.
"Not my friends," Y/n corrected in the same nonchalant voice he'd used to remind Ryan of Hurley's name. "Just people I got to school with. They were just leaving-"
Emma's eyes went wide. "Wait, you're Jack aren't you?" Y/n went stiff. "My brother used to talk about you all the time! You're like the coolest kid at his school."
Jack turned his raised eyebrows on again, still aiming them at Y/n. Y/n shrugged. "What teenager who goes unnoticed and completely uncared for doesn't want to be friends with the popular kid?" He put either of his hands on Emma's shoulders, steering her away. "Nice to see you guys, later!"
Unfortunately, Jack didn't leave it there. "No wait!" He jogged over and Emma stopped, which forced Y/n to as well. "You've been cool. I wouldn't mind being friends."
Ironically, Y/n flashed back to what he'd said to Hannah. How much he had so NOT wanted this exact thing to happen. But what could he say. 'Sorry don't want to be friends with my crush, that would suck'? He couldn't that. But else would make sense? "Sure," Y/n sighed.
For some reason, that made Jack smile. "If you guys are set on staying here for a while longer, you can, but you could also come hang out with me and Ryan at my house if you wanted."
Y/n went to decline, but Emma got to it first. "Only if I can come along," she stated firmly. "This is sibling time. You get to join, not interrupt."
"That's fair," Jack agreed. "Come on!" The four kids headed outside after getting Emma's shoes and stuff, ready to catch the bus back to Jack's house. Y/n was sweating bullets. Unfortunately, going to Jack's house was the least of his problems. The second they were outside, Jack froze. "Perhaps... we should cancel the whole going to my house thing," Jack began nervously. His eyes moved to the others slowly, fear in them. Y/n seemed to put together what had him immediately - another lie had come to life. As if on cue, Jack looked at Y/n and Emma before his eyes glued to Ryan with purpose. "Remember when I told Eric that I was late meeting him because I was abducted by aliens?"
Ryan immediately went tense, and Y/n went pale. All four pairs of eyes turned to the roof, following Jack's lead as they saw what he had. Two men, wearing odd glasses like Cyclops from the X-Men comics. They seem to look identical - down to the matching shiny, silver suits and black, polished shoes. Very... what one might assume... alien vibes.
"No," Ryan whispered, forcing himself to reject what he was seeing. "I absolutely do not remember. I refuse to remember!" He even turned away, eyes focused purposefully on the cement.
"Too late," Jack shot down, his voice full of regret and resigned fear. He looked at Y/n and Emma, and in that moment the look that Jack had on his face would be burned in Y/n's mind forever. This is the face Jack made when he told the truth. "They're back."
"There are no such thing as aliens," Emma argued, shaking her head even as she looked up at the two men on the roof with awe.
"Right!" Ryan agreed, getting his momentum back. "Those are just two dudes, you know, wearing weird suits, standing on top of a roof." Jack and Emma nodded along, but Y/n was the one who had kept his eyes glued on the men, so he was the one who first saw the very bad news.
"They're running down it!" He screamed, jumping back to push Emma behind him, protected for maybe only a second longer than if he'd just left her be.
The two men landed, removed their weird glasses to reveal glowing red eyes, and then opened their mouths to release a high pitched, terrible shrieking sound. Y/n was most disturbed by the fact that they seemed to be even more identical with the visors off. So when Jack said to run, all four of them did, taking off into the garbage and hopping into the back of a truck. The aliens ran by and they were home free... well, until they almost ran face first into the lumberjacks, who had been so good as to find Jack again - this time with even more friends in harm's way. They were all running again, booking it into the elevator and to the top floor where they came out on the roof of all places. Where, to everyone's luck, the lumberjacks also were as they'd taken the stairs. Where, just as well, the aliens were as well, having run up the long way - through the parking lot. Even Otis was here, on his little golf cart to run them down as well.
Just as all hope seemed to be lost, Jack's fake girl from Arizona - Y/n never learned her name - pulled up in a red convertible, yelling at the four of them to get inside. Emma, Y/n, and Ryan all piled eagerly into the back seat, but Miss Totally not Fake Girlfriend locked the car before Jack could join them - right after he thanked her too, which finally gave Y/n her name. Lisa.
"Not you," Lisa snapped.
"What?" Jack almost screamed. Y/n couldn't blame him - Otis, the lumberjacks, and the aliens were getting closer by the second.
"You broke my heart, Jackie Bear," Lisa whined. Y/n looked away, his hands curling into fists. Putting Jack's life on the line was NOT worth having a heart to heart. This was NOT the time - how selfish did someone have to be? She didn't have to come at all if she didn't want to help, so why wasn't she just doing it and then talking about it later? She could have locked all of them in the car once they were safe and not let him out until... but then was when Y/n realized what this was about. The fake danger would force Jack to spill his guts and be honest, even if he wouldn't have in literally any other situation. Hannah was a genius.
"Lisa, please," Jack pleaded. "Whatever you want, I'll make it up to you."
"You're just saying that because you're selfish and you don't want your brains sucked out of your skull by aliens." The sentence was ridiculous, but Lisa DID have a point. Jack was only using her as an escape - he didn't really care that he'd hurt her.
Jack finally cracked though, not having enough room to think rationally. "Okay what do you want me to say?" he snapped.
"The truth," Lisa stated firmly.
And then, for some reason, Jack looked directly at Y/n, and in his eyes was that same fear from earlier. Y/n realized that the high opinions of others meant everything to Jack. Even now, thinking his life was on the line, with Y/n in the car, he couldn't bring himself to say it. "Just tell her, Jack," Y/n demanded. "I know as well as Ryan does that this whole lying thing has gotten out of hand."
Stunned, Jack looked back to Lisa. His confusion was replaced by regret as he saw HER. The girl he'd hurt by blowing her off to hide her from Jenny. Jenny, who had been hurt by all the other lies as well. Y/n, who seemed to know Jack had been lying but seemed hurt anyway. In that moment, he realized that Y/n was right. This HAD gone too far.
"Why don't you want to be with me?" Lisa asked gently, leaving no room for half truths or cop outs.
Looking around, Jack finally took in his situation... and gave up. "I-" His eyes flickered to Y/n again before landing on Lisa solidly. "I made you up so my friends wouldn't make fun of me."
Lisa smiled. "Get in." The car unlocked and the door opened and Jack was inside, and then they were pulling away and headed to Jack's house.
It was dark when they pulled up and unbuckled. Jack turned to Lisa, thanking her. She only smiled. "I know how much you love trouble, Jackie. Someone's gotta watch out for you." Ryan's eyes found Y/n's in that moment, and Y/n got the terrible feeling he'd been officially wrapped up in something he'd been trying to avoid.
"Listen, I'm sorry I lied to you," Jack apologized now. "I never, ever meant to hurt your feelings. It's just... I'm kind of into someone else." Y/n found himself having to look away, but he didn't miss the way that Ryan caught the pain flickering across his features. He only hoped Ryan wouldn't put together why.
Lisa was unphased. "If you like this someone else so much, Jackie Bear, just... try being honest with them. No one wants a relationship built on lies."
Jack nodded, then looked at Y/n. Feeling his eyes, Y/n looked back. "Speaking of..." He rose an eyebrow and Y/n nodded, recognizing without saying it that they needed to talk. They all got out of the car, said goodbye to Lisa, and then stood there and watched her go. It was then that Jack turned to Y/n again. "How did you know Lisa was a lie?"
Y/n sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. "I know a lot of things about the people at our high school. I don't MEAN to, people just... don't notice me." He shrugged. "Say things without realizing I can hear you. I was in the bus with you guys when you told Ryan that Mikey was a lie. I was also at the park when you broke your arm on your bike, so I knew you lied about the lumberjacks. I'd hear the "my secret girlfriend in Canada" line so many times it was easy to put together that you were full of crap about that too. I eventually wrote off that most things you said that sounded ridiculous on any level, were. Like your Asian parents and the wrestler and Mikey's dog's bionic tail."
After a second, Jack let out a breath. "Why didn't you ever tell anyone?"
At this, Y/n could only bring himself to shrug. "I don't owe anyone anything, and there was no harm coming from it at the time. I mean, the other people lined up for Student of the Year were annoying, and that was as far as I knew when it came to who you were affecting. It's not my job to keep you from making your own mistakes - you have to be the one to tell them. You have to learn from it. Now more than ever. All of these things happening are affecting more than just you, and Lisa was right. Jenny has probably been hurt by the lying most of all." Jack went to argue, but Y/n just rolled his eyes. "Half the school can see the way you look at her, Jack, you're not lowkey." That shut Jack up immediately.
"Well," Ryan sighed. "Now we know how to fix the whole thing. It worked with Lisa, and it can work with the others too. You just have to tell the truth - that isn't hard."
But then a look crossed over Jack's face, and Ryan and Y/n seemed to realize what he was thinking without him having to open his mouth. "Jack..." Y/n whispered softly.
"I'm just so CLOSE, you guys!" He huffed, looking at the with desperation. "Student of the Year gets announced tomorrow."
"Are you crazy?" Ryan snapped. "After everything we've been through?"
"The hippo said I have to confess to everyone. He never said when," Jack reasoned. "I'll just do it after Student of the Year. You even said it yourself Y/n - those kids are annoying anyway. I'm showing people that grades and crap don't matter - heart does! That's a GOOD thing."
Y/n stepped away when Jack reached a hand out to put on Y/n's shoulder. "But you're not winning on good character, Jack. You're winning through lies. Lies that are becoming a serious problem. And what do you think will happen when they realize you've been lying even after you got the award? You think there are aliens and lumberjacks coming after you and anyone close to you, but you still prioritize what? Being a bat boy?" He shook his head, grabbing Emma's hand. "I was wrong about you Jack. I thought every teenager was afraid of being hated and invisible. I thought you did it because you cared about being able to do the cool things you can - like stop bullies two years older than you from messing with other kids, or getting a whole school to rally together through love and excitement. But the only thing you're doing it for is the glory, and you care more about that than your friends and family." Jack went to say something, but Y/n just shook his head. "I was stupid to have a crush on you. You suck." And then without seeing Jack's reaction, he turned and walked away.
He figured that after his little confession, Jack wouldn't try to be friends with him anymore. Before, he'd been silently afraid of that. No matter what he told himself, he wanted Jack to see him and smile. To know he existed and to enjoy being around him. Yesterday, or just a few minutes ago even, that would have been enough...
Now, Y/n didn't care in the least. If that was how Jack treated people he saw, Y/n was just fine curling up in the shadows and never having Jack look at him again.
42 notes · View notes
legionofpotatoes · 3 years ago
Text
alright here’s ma thoughts on that flick I mentioned
we hatewatched a*my of the dead because we were CONVINCED “zombies in las vegas” would be an impossible concept to screw up, but in so assuming we obviously invoked a holy wager with the universe and got reminded, once again, that hoping for improvement from someone who’s dependably put out bad art is never a wise choice 😐
but we were honestly kinda roped in by the marketing??? and expected a goofy fast-paced flick with the odd traditional undead metaphor thrown in, framing some sort of relationship drama maybe or hell even nothing at all! we’d have taken pure indulgent storytelling, idk italian job with zombies in las vegas, I don’t know fucking anything but??? whatever this was???? spoilers below for it is time for One Of My Rants
I mean the main reason I really want to write all this and complain. this film here probably has the most unappealing cinematography I have ever experienced in my life and that is saying something. who the fuck signed off on that CONSTANT shallow-ass depth of field that imprisons your eyeline and turns every shot into bokeh paste???? and I mean every shot almost!!!! I promise if you think I am overreacting just throw a dart at the seek bar and watch twenty seconds from wherever it lands. it is horrifying to look at. at least it gave my girlfriend a good visual shorthand for what it’s like when I lose my glasses
why was sean spicer in this movie. did they pay him to be here. was sean spicer paid hollywood money for his scene in this film because fuck everyone who was involved in that decision
the legitimately baffling hints at the extraterrestrial origins of the infection that went absolutely nowhere and had no dramatic or plot-level bearing. we love to see the franchise sprouts fellas
yet another big budget waste of everything hiroyuki sanada has to offer. and bautista too I guess? I like him but man was this an odd career move
what was the crux of his conflict/resolution with his daughter btw. I understand it was rooted in miscommunication over their forms of grief irt mom but uhh… it was all rather clunky and didn’t land for me. I tried I really tried to buy in but something was wrong fundamentally with the groundwork there, it did not click and their catharsis felt unearned. I know there’s massive amounts of tragic baggage being projected there from the author so I’m not slapping any judgment down really;
but again it would be an easy thing to wave off if they just had a vibrant cast of lovable simpletons with good chemistry and the kinetic sense of plotting the trailers promised (and this premise never discounts good drama, either). but instead it was just two and a half (!) hours of meandering into situations the filmmaking instincts had no idea how to flow in and out of
to wit. I know talking about “bad pacing” is associated with armchair bullshit but consider the example of the scene were dieter does an out of nowhere little dance after childishly screaming but then still-killing a zombie, with the film framing this as a micro character triumph, and not a second later the bg soundtrack instantly fades into an orchestral score dramatizing a nearby mcguffin reveal, completely 180 degreeing the tone without a semblance of deft insert shot stitching or even I dont know a fucking jump cut maybe. now imagine this whiplash for 2.5 hrs uninterrupted
I will keep complaining about the length yeah because this was not a story requiring this much real estate to be told. Uhh in my humble and personal opinion, of course
[man sees zombie tiger] “this is crossing the line!” you can in fact write dialogue that is not utter nonsense that falls apart once you drill down its single fickle layer of referential meta winking. what line are you talking about. you have rules in this insane situation you’re in? total nitpick moment I know but it got burned in my brain for some reason. like a microcosm of the mismanaged dramatic instincts paired with weird writing that dots this movie. I am sure the director calls this either satire or genre deconstruction. I am SO sure
tumblr domino meme that goes from “dude getting sucked off while driving” to “entire las vegas literally nuked”
tig notaro is always great to see but once you know she’s been filmed as a separate greenscreen plate months after photography wrapped - cause she had to apparently replace some abusive asshole but that’s a whole other pig not worth fucking - it becomes impossible to unsee her odd detachment from everyone else in the movie lmao. it doesn’t really “ruin” anything on its lonesome but it is hard to unsee
why. was. sean. spicer. in. this. movie
a very simple key ingredient missing from fully turning lip service sympathy for main uruk hai dude into actual empathy that would generate meaningful conflict with hero family would be to spend a bit more time articulating what he internally wanted the most. because he was obviously trying to do something here with pointed agenda. a family, to have kids, build a caste system, save his wife’s head, return to his planet??? all of these could represent the bigger context in his psychology that spurred his vengeance but none of them are dramatically emphasized long enough for you to cheer him on. I’m not asking too much I promise. Articulating interiority of a mute character is pretty doable with deft cinema language, just gotta linger and hold a shot here and there for a few seconds, frame as his POV, donezo. I know this is also one of those like. “who cares” moments but the movie does, very evidently so, in making this guy an actual character. you can kinda piece it together and create a framework of sympathy for him, sure, but then again he ultimately becomes a foil to be killed and not defeated, so. Ehh whatever
quarantine zone stuff was not a wildly childish covid allegory quarantine zone stuff was not a wildly childish covid allegory quarantine zone stuff was n
the rooftop helicopter fakout at the end was such an ass-backwards, manufactured moment of what could be a simple setup/payoff it just pissed me off??? you gain nothing by giving sad dad five seconds of pointless crisis that flips right back to previous status quo ANYWAY, except for a weaksauce waste of runtime, which could be used instead to get inside notaro’s head and actually SHOW the remorse form as she took off, literally maybe even a frown playing on her face as she’s headed for safety right before we cut back to drax and the kid. just a simple-ass, minimal, momentary setup for what is the most basic filmmaking trick of creating macro catharsis moments. Just???? g o d if you can’t even land that shit why are you even doing any of this
that lil run final pam did was very very charming and super choreographed in a way that was the tiiiniest bit overdone
the whole intro with the simul-backstories and posing with family photos was just… oddly motivated. what was the goal? “here’s what we’re fighting for” vignettes? why? it’s not a functional setup in that vein. what was all that
also I am sorry if this is insensitive but the reasons most characters end up articulating to justify going back into the hell that destroyed their lives makes them sound seriously insane
I dont like complaining about CGI (honestly) but so much of it in modern movies can achieve higher fidelity if the animation is simply subdued. Do not overengineer and over-apply 2D cell methodologies and kinematics to each tiny twitch and movement in a hyper 3D model and I promise you. it will look a thousand times more natural. look at thanos in those last two movies. your rendering and detail are absolutely perfect with the tiger you just have to let stuff sit instead of constantly simulating swaying hair strands and firing off all facial muscles at once. great moment at one point where makeup zombie horse and CG zombie tiger are both in one shot together and just by unnecessary amounts of movement alone you can tell who doesn’t belong. again; detail, rendering, compositing, lighting, all picture-perfect; but y’all just gotta let the animation breathe sometimes, and chill it out
plot holes don’t really matter to me but it was kinda funny how lilly decided not to mention the enormous wrinkle in intel pertaining to an actual territorial tribe of intelligent zombies that require human offerings to let you pass, just so that reveal could play out in real time through the joyous punishment of the cartoonishly misogynistic dude
total chad move for mister uruk hai and final pam to rule from a rusted swimming pool complex
the ending with vanderohe oh my god. with the. cash stacks at the airport register. and specifically them working in his favor. that is literally something you do to get arrested under suspicion of theft. it was almost played for laughs and I respect that. coulda been goofier. make these movies goofy ya dorks
anyway, weird, weird movie. bad marketing. message unclear (something something sins of the father???), baffling editing instincts, literal worst-looking cinematography I ever laid eyes upon. Confidently dying on that last hill
9 notes · View notes
cravingmarvel · 5 years ago
Text
Sugar
Pairing: Mob!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Swearing, stalking, just mob things 
Summary: James Barnes had his eyes on you and he can’t stand things he can’t have.
A/N: lmao I don’t know what this is, don’t ask. We won’t talk about this. Just leave me BE.
Masterlist 
Tumblr media
Sugar
“Please, just give me any job, any! I’ll even clean toilets for god’s sake!”
I followed John around his office like I didn’t have any dignity left within me, but all he did was shake his head frantically. He hurried around his office collecting pieces of paper with me right on his feet. Working in John’s hardware store was the last thing I wanted to do but the options I have are running dangerously low. I was hoping that he would help me out since he’d known me since I was a child.
“I’m sorry Y/n, but I can’t do that.”
“Why?” 
I had him trapped between me and his desk by now trying to get an answer out of him.
“Because he told me not to. He told me whatever You say to turn you down. For- for any job.” John said, the papers in his hands shaking. The poor man had fear written all over his face.
“Who?” 
“James Barnes.”
-
I met my problem two months ago at my then still husband Mark’s opening celebration. He was finally opening his very own law firm, with many sponsors at his back supporting his career, one of them being James. I’ve been with Mark throughout his days in Law school, the dream of ‘Johnson Law Firm – Criminal Defence & Family Law’ set in his mind ever since he knew he wanted to become a lawyer.
Mark took my hand leading me through the room, he was introducing me to all kinds of people. Salesmen, real estate agents and dozens of entrepreneurs, all of whom he was sponsored by. This project of his was quite expensive and finding the right place and interior turned out to be difficult enough. To find the money to get it all was the cherry on top, so Mark turned to sponsors, giving them advertisements and recommending them to his clients if necessary.
“Love, this is James Barnes, the man who really made all of this possible.”
Mark took his hand away from my back stuffing it in his pocket. I looked at the man in front of me, his short hair styled back, curling slightly. The two men behind him politely nodding their heads. I took his outstretched hand in mine and smiled up at him.
“Nice to meet you, Mr. Barnes.” 
Instead of shaking my hand, he turned it and kissed the back of my hand, looking into my eyes. “Oh, don’t be so formal, Darling. Just call me James.” He said while his white teeth shined bright at me. “This is Sam and Steve, my right-hand men, can’t get rid of them.” 
My cheeks heated up a little, feeling slightly intimidated by the obviously rich man.
I didn’t know it then, but he seems to be the bad omen in my life. 
Not long after that, Mark, the man I have been with for ten years, half of that married, divorced me. I couldn’t understand why. I didn’t take the fear in his eyes as an indication for who was behind it all. He didn’t give me enough reasons and the ones he gave me had holes in them so much so that they were almost non-existent.
I was forced to move out, an apartment outside Manhattan since that was all I could afford. I have to admit that most of the income we had was from Mark. I hadn’t lived alone since college, but the loneliness wasn’t the worst part, it was staying above the water with the money I made.
After just a few days of living in my new apartment, the worst that could happen, happened. Even the company I worked for turned their back on me, my boss, Kyle, apologizing profusely after handing me the envelope.
But it didn’t stop there, every guy I met after finding the courage to date again seemed to run away from me as soon as a second date was planned. I felt cursed, the universe had cursed me. 
My life was falling to pieces. 
So that’s how I ended up in John’s office, an old friend of mine. One who was refusing me a job because James Barnes told him so. My question wasn’t really why James told him so, it was rather why John listened to him.
I looked at John, realization kicking in as he mumbled his next apology, fear in his eyes once again as if I would hurt him.  
“I- I have to go. Bye John, thank you.”
-
I knew where I needed to go and that’s where I went, storming into the lobby of Hydra & Co. right to the front desk. “Excuse me?” I said to the woman sitting in front of me, my hands clutching to the white wood. “I need to speak to Mr. Barnes immediately.”
She looked up at me, holding her other hand to the mic of her phone, her lips in a tight smile. “I’m sorry, but I can’t let you up without an appointment.” She went right back to listening to the person on the other side of the line.
“Look-“ I lowered my eyes to the nametag on her blazer “Jenna, I need to speak to him right now ok?” I knew my face was bright red, my fingers clinging to the wood. “He is ruining my life and I need to speak to him!”
The poor woman started to panic, eyes growing bigger as I leaned forward, my tone and choice of words harsher than I wanted them to be. The person on the phone clearly overheard me as the woman explained to them that I was requesting to see Mr. Barnes.
“What’s your name?”
“Y/n Y/l/n.”
She mumbled something before hanging up the phone.  “Please continue to the 46th floor.” Her smile matched her uncertain body language.
The elevator doors opened, and I stepped out, not really focussing on the blond woman sitting at yet another desk waiting for me to speak up, but I just went straight for the big doors. I stood there for a second, raising my hand, knocking three times. I heard a faint ‘come in’ and upon opening the door I saw James sitting behind his desk.
He looked up from his computer, smiling. “It’s so nice to see you again, y/n.”
I could hardly pull myself together. He so nonchalantly welcomed me into his office as if he didn’t have a clue on why I was here in the first place. The door shut behind me making me jump.
“Please tell me what’s going on, John told me you told him not give me a job. Just tell me why? With Mark gone, I can barely hold myself up.”
There was no point in holding back what I wanted to say. I felt a little embarrassed, but I needed to clear the air, to confirm that this man I hardly knew was the reason behind my failed attempts at getting a job.
“Oh yeah, Mark. Was easy getting him out of the picture.” James rose from his seat, slowly walking around the desk. “Look, ever since seeing you at that losers opening party, I just knew I had to fight for what want.”
I felt like a little child asking for her favourite toy back. James is intimidating, very. “What do you mean get Mark out of the picture?” I tilted my head.
“Well I told him that if he didn’t divorce you, I would pull back the funding’s for his Law firm.” His mouth curled up to a twisted smile.
“So, you threatened him?”
“Well, I wouldn’t call it a threat, let’s just call it a favour.”
“For whom?”
“For you!” James stepped closer to me. “He can’t ever give you what I can.”
I couldn’t back away, not now that he thinks he has control over my life. “You don’t love me! You just want what you can’t have!”
James stood in front of me, his breath hot on my forehead. His hand rested on my waist, squeezing it a little. He bent down, his lips grazing on my ear. “There’s nothing I can’t have, darling.”
I shoved him away with the strength I still had left. “You’re disgusting!”
James chuckled darkly as he pushed his hands in his pockets. I turned on my heels, pulling the door open without looking back. I could feel his smirk on the back of my neck, shivers running down my spine as I still felt his touch linger on my body, his breath on my ear and the soft, deep tone of his voice ringing in my head.
-
As I walked back to my apartment days after the “talk” I had with James, I saw the familiar car parked on the other side of the street. The two men leaning against the side of it were all too familiar too. Sam and Steve, that’s they’re names. I do recognize them from Mark’s opening party, but also because since then I see them linger around me once in a while.
I crossed the street, determined to stop this nonsense at once.
“Can you guys stop following me?” I said, crossing my arms on my chest as I stopped in front of them.
“Oh, we’re not following you. We’re protecting you.” Sam said, adjusting his sunglasses.
“From what?” I asked, my confusion making them smile.
“Well, someone trying to rob you.” Steve said.
“Hurt you.” Sam threw right back.
“Kill you.” Steve said looking at Sam.
“Why would anyone do that?”
“You’re the reason people are getting threatened left and right. The mob boss himself holding a gun in someone’s face really makes them take a step back and think about what their doing.” Steve explained.
“Urgh, and that’s my fault because?” I was confused and irritated. Why did I have to run into mobsters of all people.
This wasn’t anything like ‘Goodfellas’.
-
Even though having Sam and Steve on my back every day was a little irritating, I still felt a little bad. I know I shouldn’t, but I still did. I mean, their oh so busy boss is sitting behind a desk while his so-called right-hand men are outside my Apartment complex, waiting for me to do anything interesting.
So I thought the best thing to do to make all of our lives just a little more enjoyable and to also get both of the men on my side a little, I took two disposable cups, filled them with coffee and went to the car.
I looked through the driver’s seat window, Sam and Steve watching ‘The Little Mermaid’. As I knocked on the glass with my knuckle, both jumped closing the laptop.
Sam let his window down. “God you scared us.”
“Here.” I said while giggling, handing Sam the cups of coffee. “Just a little gift from me. Don’t tell your boss though.”
“Why?” Steve leaned over so I could properly see him. “Not the gift part, the boss part. Thanks!”
“Don’t want your boss to get the wrong idea.”
-
I knew this was a terrible idea. Not well thought out and executed within an hour. My mind was still trying to convince me to go back to my apartment. But something within me stood tall. I was called up to the woman and smiled at her.
“One ticket to Utah please.”
She typed something into the computer and proceeded to take a call while doing so. “And your name, miss?”
“Oh, Y/n y/l/n.” I looked around aimlessly waiting for her to hand me my plane ticket.
“I’m so sorry, but there aren’t any seats left.”
“What do you mean? What about first class?”
“Nope, sorry.”
“Does James Barnes have anything to do with this maybe?”
Her eyes grew big as I mentioned his name, she lowered the phone, looking at it and them back at me.
“Right.” I nodded my head, a little glad that this didn’t work out, I mean, what was I supposed to do in Utah?
Upon walking out, I was once again followed by Sam and Steve, the duo that can’t even seem to brush their teeth with separate toothbrushes.
“So, you’re not leaving?”
I dragged my suitcase behind me, huffing at Sam’s comment. It’s not like I just realized how stupid the idea was to fly to my hometown, but in the whim of a moment it did. Just for a small moment it seemed like my ticket out, but James seems to be a few steps ahead of me, his little minions right on my heels.
“No, I guess not, Sam.”
“C’mon, let us give you a ride back.” Sam stopped at the car holding the door open for me. I sat in the car with a grunt.
The car ride was plagued by silence… from me. Steve and Sam, the dynamic duo, chatted along as if nothing had happened.
“You know, Y/n, Buck isn’t that bad. He does come off as tough and scary at times but he kinda has to. As soon as he shows any weakness, people don’t take him seriously.”
“Cute.”
“Y/n… he wouldn’t do all this if he didn’t seriously like you. Deep down he’s a sweet guy, trust me.” Steve went on, but that didn’t faze me.
I started out of the window, watching the buildings pass as we approached my place.
-
After my attempt to flee the city, I felt a little embarrassed with myself. The poor plan I was sure made James laugh, it’s as if I could hear him laugh all the way somewhere from the outskirts of New York. I couldn’t stop myself from walking through the city asking for a job, but no one would offer me one. Some wouldn’t even let me into the building after hearing my name. New York has shut its doors.
I walked home, not missing the presence of Sam and Steve, S&S, the Bonny and Clyde of New York, my personal bodyguards around me. They were everywhere, almost knowing exactly where I was going. I was getting a little used to it.
Upon walking into the small entrance area of my apartment building, I emptied my mailbox. I knew that none of these were good news, those were very uncommon these days it seemed.
I kicked off my shoes, hung up my cardigan and went straight do the couch rubbing my feet. The regret of wearing heels swung around in my head, they make you look very professional but hurt your feet if you walk in them all day through the city.
I went lazily through the letters. Just bills, payments that were way too overdue and a letter from my landlord. That one caught my eye immediately as I haven’t had an issue with her since I moved in. She knew of my problem and welcomed me with open arms, but the letter proved otherwise.
I stumbled out of the door, down two floors, hitting a wall on my way for good measure. I knocked on her door, hearing footsteps on the other side.
“Jenna, you’re kicking me out?” I held the letter up to her face as soon as she opened the door.
“Y/n, I’m sorry I- “
“No! Tell me this isn’t the work of James Barnes.” My ears were ringing, tears prickling on the corners of my eyes. “Please.”
Jenna exhaled sharply. “He came by yesterday, threatened me, held a gun to my head, y/n- “
“Wow.” I breather out, leaning against the door frame.
“I can’t have you here, not when I have a baby to protect, I’m sorry.”
“No, I understand.” I removed myself from her door frame, smiling as best as I could. I didn’t need her to worry about me, herself and especially not her baby. The poor child doesn’t need to grow up without parents.
I walked up to my apartment. The only good thing was, that I didn’t have a lot to pack up. The things I do have were fairly light and I could ask Danny, John’s son, from the hardware store to help me move.
What was James thinking? He either loved me or wanted me to die in a ditch, I couldn’t decide. The anger bubbling within me made my blood boil. He couldn’t do this. If he really loved me like he claimed he does, then he wouldn’t have me struggling so much.
I pulled my heels back on my feet as I stumbled out of my apartment once again. I couldn’t get down the many flights of stairs without stripping and falling but I only hand one goal. The hatred I felt for James fuelled the fire in me.
I spotted Sam and Steve in the car and approached it with speed, looking left and right to avoid getting run over. I hastily slammed my palm on the window catching Sam’s attention. He rolled the window down.
“Bring me to him. James.” I held the bottom of the window with my palms, sweat collecting on my neck, my hairs sticking to it.
“He’s at home.” Sam responded as if I cared where he was.  
“Well let’s go!” I climbed in the backseat and heard Sam swear under his breath.
We arrived at James’s house, or rather mansion. The white bricked mansion stood out amongst the greenery surrounding it. There were several armed men standing around the mansion, dressed in all black. As we pulled up to the front steps, right next to the rather large fountain, Sam and Steve, the dynamic duo, led me inside.
Marble on top of marble, not the cheaper kind. The one that’s so thick you couldn’t seem to break it if you tried. Sam told me exactly where to go and I didn’t waste any time, running up the stairs, turned the left corner and went straight to the end of the corridor. My feet stomping on the ground like I’m a child.
I stood in front of the heavy looking white doors. I raised my hand knocking three times. I didn’t give James any time to tell me to come in, pushing the door open. He seemed to be quite surprised as he stood up from his seat.
“How dare you?” I spoke, a little too quiet to my liking, the tears threatened to fall from my eyes and I just let them. At this point I didn’t care what he thought of me, I just needed to let go. “How dare you have me kicked out of my home? And on top of that threaten poor Jenna!”
He rounded the desk like he did when I showed up in his office. “Y/n, you’re more than welcome to stay here.”
“But I don’t want to!”
I looked over to the shelve, walking over to it. Looking back and forth to the small green vase sitting atop it, back to James and back to the vase. My brows furrowed together as I took it into my hand. I looked James in the eyes, raising my hand pointing it to the wall, swinging my arm, stopping right before the impact would’ve smashed it into pieces.
James looked rather unfazed, either he didn’t care about it or he knew I couldn’t do it. I let my shoulders fall, placing the vase back on the shelve. I held my face in my hands, letting the tears falling.
I heard him coming over, but I let him. He wrapped his arms around my figure, squeezing my body softly. “Shh, it’s going to be ok.”
I pulled away from him, pushing his arms away from me. “No, it’s not going to be ok, James. If you truly loved me as much as you say you do, then you wouldn’t do this, you would want me to be happy no matter what. You would do anything to ensure my happiness isn’t ruined by your needs.”
I took a few steps away from him. “This- “ I pointed my finger to him and back to me. “- Isn’t love.”
James exhaled, turned and walked to his desk, holding onto it with his hands. “Alright… I- you just go back to your apartment, let Sam and Steve drive you, I’ll sort everything else out. Ok?”
A small smiled formed on my lips, I had done it, I convinced him. “Thank you.”
“Just know that I do love you.”
I walked out of the room skipping along the marbled floor, down the steps and out of the mansion.
 6 Months later:
 On my way up to my apartment I grabbed my mail along the way. As I walked in, I took everything necessary off leaving me in a tank top and my panties. It was way too hot to wear anything else. Anyone who believes climate change isn’t real should come to New York right now.
As I always do, I checked the pile of letters for anything important, so far only advertisements and… an invitation. I ripped open the envelope to reveal the letter.
We happily invite you to the engagement party of
 James Buchanan Barnes & Meghan Sofie Vermont
 We hope to welcome you to our home to celebrate love and happiness.
 Barnes & Vermont
 I couldn’t help but laugh a little, he wants me to attend an engagement party?
Ever since the day I confronted him about his wrongdoings, things finally started to look up for me again. I got my job back and felt like the city of New York had welcomed me back. I could finally breathe again. I do have to say that I miss Sam and Steve being on my backs at all times, the Tyler Joseph and Josh Dunn, my own Tom and Jerry. I do miss them sometimes when I look out the window.
They did make me feel safe.
 -
 I pushed my blazer up my arms and checked my bag for any belongings I might’ve missed and walked out the door locking it for good measure. Outside, my car was already waiting for me, James really made sure to flaunt his money, having his guests picked up. The car ride was filled with nerves overflowing, I didn’t know how to feel going to that house again, but as I walked up the stairs into the lavish foyer, down into the living room and out to the garden, I was more concerned about my attire. I grabbed a flute of champagne from one of the waiters.
The guests who were scattered around the grass wearing heavy diamonds on their necks. I came across a woman wearing the most beautiful bracelet I’ve ever seen, and she told me it was made out of Iridium, the rarest naturally occurring element. I didn’t really know what to do with that information since it just looked like plain old silver to me.
As I spotted James, he was already looking at me. I waved at him and smiled, taking a step to walk toward him as I was stopped by a woman.
“And you must be Y/n, right?” She asked and I nodded in return. “Wow, James has told me a lot about you, I’m Meghan, his soon to be wife and not so far into the future Mrs. Barnes.” She stretched her hand out to me and I shook it, trying to hide the face I wanted to make.
“God you’re so beautiful, now I know why Bucky was chasing you around.” She grinned at me and I wanted to return the complement, but she didn’t let me. “I can’t believe you rejected him, wow, I mean, you could be me right now. You could have diamonds on you neck, hands and anywhere else you want them. The finest dresses, oh Buck gifted me this absolutely amazing Givenchy dress last week. To. Die. For.”  
Meghan placed her hand on my shoulder and her grip didn’t say friendship. “And this house! You could be living here right now. But the best thing you’re missing… the man, I mean. Jamesie is so wonderful, so sweet and just ugh, the biggest heart.”
I looked at her my face falling, twisting into a rather annoyed expression. I just looked over to James, talking to some guy. His grey suit and pink tie doing wonders for him.
I snapped back to Meghan as she tightened the grip on my shoulder, my hand slightly tipping, the glass with it. If she loves her Givenchy dress so much, then why isn’t she paying closer attention to it. My glass tipped fully now, the golden liquid spilling down the front of her dress.
Meghan let out a high-pitched scream and I snapped back into reality, my eyes flicking up to James who looked at me. I turned, placed the glass on a nearby table and went up the stairs, back int the living room and into the foyer.
“Stop!”
I turned as I heard the woman, the tall blonde walking over to me.
“What were you thinking? Come with me. Now!” She grabbed my arm leading me down a corridor and through some double doors revealing the kitchen. She roughly made me sit on one of the chairs at the table, walking back and forth behind me.
I just lowered my head, feeling once again, like a child. I regretted it.
“Y/n, what’s gotten into you?” James entered the kitchen and I felt my cheeks hating up. He sat down next to me and turned his body to me. The woman mumbling something about the party being ruined. “Mom, please can you leave us alone?”
I sunk lower on my seat, not wanting to be seen at all by anyone. It was a mistake coming here after all.
“Y/n, darling, why did you do that?” He placed his hand over mine, circling his thumb on the back of my hand.
“I didn’t do it on purpose!”
James took his other hand softly holding my jaw, turning my face to him. “This isn’t you. I’ve seen you being angry, but you never did any harm to anyone or anything. Despite your anger you still don’t lose your manners and knock on people’s doors.”
I knew by anything he meant the vase I wanted to smash. But he was right, completely. “I’m sorry.” The tears swelled up in my eyes. “I didn’t know what came over me. Meghan just went on and on about all the things I could’ve had and everything I’m missing out on and I just… snapped.”
“But why are you so upset about it? You knew exactly what you would give up when you told me to leave you alone, why does it bother you now?”
That was indeed a good question, why did it bother me so much. Was it the things I was upset about or the person? “Maybe… I think… Sometimes you want what you can’t have.”
James smiled. “I know exactly what that feels like.”
I couldn’t help but smile back at him. He took his hand away from mine and snaked it around my waist, pulling me onto his lap. His warm breath on my lips sent shivers down my spine and as he inched closer, he moved his hand from my jaw to the back of my neck, tangling his fingers with my hair.
James closed the distance between us, moving his lips against mine. He pulled away slightly, just inches away from me, whispering against my lips. “The difference between you and me is, there’s nothing I can’t have, Sugar.”
Fin!
251 notes · View notes