#who risked his whole business to do something good with his science

[scribere-flores]

Sabo x Reader

~Just as a hypothetical question~

Part 6. Other Parts Word count: 6,1k words (Dear God) Short summary: There's drama, there's chaos, things get a little bit serious at one point, and then, a little bit of smut sprinkled on top. Basically: Reader+Sabo+Miscommunication= solved... kinda. AN: I've risen from hell, aka first semester of law & political science courses. In all seriousness, I'm so so grateful for the wonderful support all of you have given my cheesy little fic. I really appreciate the nice and understanding comments while I've been away. I had so much fun writing this last chapter whenever I had time. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did <3 (Not proof read, will fix any spelling errors after I get some sleep)

MDNI 18+

___

Shit.

Y/N was practically sprinting through the hallways as soon as she had left the library. She must have looked insane to anyone that saw her.

She messed up, she messed up big time!

Not only did Y/N snap at the man who potentially wanted to torture her, possibly even kill her.

No, she also left the book on the table. The book that had “Outdoor Survival” spelled with bold, bright orange letters on the front!

And Sabo wasn’t stupid, she knew that. By this point he must already have figured out what she was planning, and was probably plotting some kind of sick, twisted way of making sure she couldn’t leave.

What if he locks her in a cell and throws away the key? Deprived her of ever seeing the sunlight again? 

No, Sabo wouldn’t really do that. Right?

Y/N let out a nervous laughter as she felt a shiver run down her spine. This wasn’t the time for guessing, she couldn’t risk staying a day longer at this godawful base. She just needed to gather a few more things, and then she was ready to start her new life. 

Preferably far far away from the sadistic blond devil that took pleasure in stalking and tormenting her. 

As she pushed the front door to the base open, unwelcome thoughts sneaked into her mind. 

A gorgeous, handsome, honey-voiced devil, with strong arms that could easily pin her down so he-

“NO NO NO! Stop fantasizing about him, you stupid,stupid girl! That’s insane behavior, you know it is never-” Y/N choked on her words “never going to happen...”

A loud sigh escaped her lips as her shoulders dropped forward, forehead leaning against the wall outside the building. Was this really a good idea? In truth, she felt completely unprepared to live out the rest of her days in the wilderness.

Maybe life as the Chief of Staff’s captive wouldn’t be so bad?

“Ha-ha, I must be losing my mind.” Y/N laughed nervously as she pushed herself up from her leaning position.

Staying wasn’t an option. But neither was going out into the forest unprepared. She looked around the busy town square.

“Now, where do I find something sharp…” 

___

“What are those two doing today?” Koala pondered as she looked out over the town.

She was resting her head against her hand, arm leaning over the windowsill, as her eyes closely followed Jane Doe. The girl had been running around the town for the past hour, gathering one strange thing after the other. 

Just as the girl slipped into another alleyway, Koala’s attention was caught by Sabo jumping out from a window, quickly moving over the rooftops with his steel pipe on his back. And she knew that could only spell trouble. Which meant, more paperwork for her.

Her so-called partner had taken his newfound hobby, stalking, to a whole other level these past few days. In a way it was kinda endearing seeing Sabo run around like a lovesick puppy. Some of the Revs had even started a pool, placing bets on how long it would take before those two finally got together… or until Jane Doe flat out rejected Sabo once and for all.

Koala found that highly unlikely though. The girl was obviously crushing hard, no matter how hard she tried to hide it. Koala even suspected that the poor girl was so nervous that she was planning on running away, which would achieve absolutely nothing since Sabo would find her straight away. 

“But what do I know? Maybe this is just what happens when you have that kind of upbringing.…” Koala sighed “Still, Nobles are fucking weird.”

___

“Oh Dear God, that was a close call.” Y/N sighed as she turned the key to her bedroom door.

She had just managed to avoid Koala’s attempt to “have a talk”. Something she desperately wanted to avoid, because in her mind, “having a talk” could only mean one thing…

“I really hope Koala hasn’t found out too.” She said under her breath as she entered her bedroom.

"Find out about what?" 

An audible ‘eep’ escaped Y/N mouth as she heard the familiar voice, before she quickly put her hands over her mouth and took a step back from shock, her back hitting the now closed door. 

"How d-did you get in here… t-the door was locked." She said with a shaky voice as she eyed the blond man sitting on her bed.

"Window." Sabo shrugged. As if what he said wasn’t insane, or not even acknowledging that he had broken into her room! 

"We're on the third floor.” Y/N stuttered, still not completely comprehending her current situation.

Why? Why was this happening now? Why was he here? She was just coming back to gather her things, and then she was supposed to leave. 

She felt her heart beating faster as she glared at Sabo. 

"Breathe Angel, I was just returning what I took this morning…” He chuckled as he walked over to her dresser and put her neatly folded underwear on it.

‘Okay, great! Now, please leave, please.’ she prayed quietly in her head.

“And I have a question for you, so I waited until you got back." Sabo said with a bright smile, but she saw something flicker in his eye, and that couldn’t be good.

"Q-question?" She stuttered as he started to walk towards her " Wait, don't-" 

"Are you planning to run away, Y/N?" He was standing right in front of her, keeping her trapped between him and the door.

‘Wait, no-’ She felt her mind spiraling out of control. That name. Her name… No, no no no no.

"How do you-" A finger was placed over her mouth.

“Aa-aa, my question first, Y/N.”

“I don’t- that’s not-”

“It’s okay, I promise I’m not mad. But you don’t need to lie anymore Y/N.” Sabo gave her a kind, deceiving smile.

“Stop saying it!” She bursted out, trying to push him back. But he wasn’t bugging, instead he only moved closer to her.

“Oh, but it’s such a pretty name. Much better than Jane Doe. Y/N, Y/N, Y/N…” He chuckled with a dreamy expression, twirling her hair between two fingers. 

Y/N could only stare at Sabo with horror as she took in the almost obsessive look in his eyes and the faint smile over his lips. He knew he had won their “game”, and now he was acting like a cat, playing with his prey.

She could feel her breath quicken, how the panic spread through her mind… And honestly, though embarrassing to admit, she felt a little bit aroused. Which was a whole other issue in itself that she really needed to deal with if she somehow got out of this situation alive.

Because, she really shouldn’t be turned on by this!

Sabo let go of her hair and grazed his gloved hand against her cheek, making her flinch. To her surprise her reaction made him take a step back, giving her much needed space to breathe. He sighed and furrowed his eyebrows, almost making it look like he was concerned. 

“Please don’t worry, sweetheart. You don’t have to hide anymore. I personally made sure those people won’t come looking for you.” Sabo smiled, sounding kinda proud?

“People? Wait- What did you do?” Y/N was feeling a little confused. Had he really… He couldn’t have, right?

"It was quite easy actually, don’t know why I didn’t do this from the start. It would have saved me so. much. pent. up. frustration." His voice came out strained, almost like a moan. 

"I just made a few visits to some very disgusting bugs, before the information I gathered pointed me in the right direction." 

‘Disgusting bugs’ Nobles? Right direction? No-

She closely studied Sabo as he mindlessly wandered around the room, continuing his explanation.

"Your dad is a fucking coward, by the way. I barely stepped foot inside the castle before he surrendered both the country and more importantly, your name, in exchange for his own life.

You should have seen the look on his face when I introduced myself as his future son-in-law, it was fucking priceless." He laughed, wiping a tear from his eye.

Y/N couldn’t take it anymore. This man. Correction, this insane man had by himself broken into the castle of an enemy country and threatened the king of said country, just so he could learn what her name was? 

For what reason? So he could torture and then execute her with good conscious that he had done a thorough investigation beforehand? And what did he mean by ‘future son-in-law’?

She let out a nervous laughter, catching Sabo’s attention and making him walk towards her again. 

"Oh Angel, please don't be scared. We aren't going to meet the fuckers who put you through all of that anymore, I'll make sure of it. It will just be the two of us from now on." Sabo said with a calm tone as he tried pulling her into a hug, which she quickly dodged, so she was now standing in the middle of the room.

Holy fuck-

His statement made her realize what Sabo had been trying to do from the start. He was planning on keeping her alive. To be played with as his personal toy for the rest of her life. 

And what must be a very deranged part of herself actually felt relieved over that fact. She would at least get to see his gorgeous face every day. Even if it was when he was taking pleasure in torturing her, or something…

Dear God, that was so freaking messed up!

Sabo brought his hand to her cheek, giving her that kind, deceiving smile. She flinched away when she felt the cool touch of leather on her skin. His smile dropped, a confused wrinkle appearing between his brows. 

"Y/N, it isn’t me you're scared of, right?" He asked, giving her a serious look.

"No- I'm-" She took a step back, but Sabo quickly grabbed a hold of her wrist, pulling her towards him.

"Yes you are. Why?" He asked again, the grip around her wrist becoming firmer.

Y/N looked around the room in a panic, her eyes landing on the doorknob. Why the fuck didn’t she just open the door and run away when she had the chance? Why didn’t she think about that before, you know… she was trapped and unable to escape.

She needed to use what little brain capacity she had left and figure something out. Think think think!

‘If a man ever bothers you, just pretend to faint. That’s what all the other ladies your age do.’

Her mother’s words swirled through her mind. Could that really work? Y/N pondered on the crazy idea only for a second before she decided that it was probably the best she could come up with in this situation.

She saw how Sabo quirk his eyebrow and loosened his grip a little just as she closed her eyes, put her hand against her forehead, let out an audible gasp and let her body fall limp to the floor.

___

For a moment, Sabo could only stare flabbergasted at the “fainted” Angel on the floor. He certainly hadn’t expected her to do…whatever it was that she was trying to do.

But he liked that she kept surprising him with her silly little acts, even if they still really needed to have a serious conversation about her running away… and you, allegedly being scared of him? What reason could she have to be scared? Had he been a little too blunt with his explanation about how he found out what her name was? 

No, he couldn’t have. He even purposely left out the bloody part, she didn’t need to know about that. And to be fair, he barely touched those disgusting bugs that had described  “the princess” as some kind of mindless trophy. Sabo had just made it very clear that he couldn’t stand that kind of misogynistic thinking… with his fists.

He pondered Y/N’s reason for being scared for a few more moments, before he glanced down at her and saw how she was peeking at him through her half squinted eyes. And how she abruptly closed them when she was caught.

"She so fucking adorable" he whispers to himself.

Talking was important, but it could wait for a little bit. How could he not play along when she was acting so incredibly cute.

"Oh no, she fainted. I better put her on the bed." Sabo said in a sarcastic tone as he lifted her off the floor.

He noticed how Y/N shifted in his arms, still trying her best to keep her act up. He carefully placed her on the bed and just looked at her for a moment. 

Cute.

"Hmm, what’s that thing they do in fairytales?” Sabo sighed, before he leaned down close to her ear and whispered “Right…maybe she will wake up if I kiss her?" 

Within a second Y/N opened her eyes and shoved him away. A bright red blush had spread over her face, and he couldn’t help but to chuckle at her adorable reaction.

"Oh look, I didn’t even have to kiss her for it to work. Just. Like. A. Princess." 

"PLEASE DON’T HURT ME!" She exclaimed as she sat straight up on the bed, putting her arms in front of her.

‘Ehm- what?’ Sabo was suddenly very confused about what was happening.

"Hurt you? Why the fuck would I do that?" He asked.

"Because you are a Revolutionary, you disdain Nobles. You enjoy torturing them for fun, before you drag them to the guillotine. And you make them read your manifesto over and over, and over. And I'm a freaking Princess, daughter of a cruel, greedy tyrant! Of course you’re going to fucking hurt me!" 

Sabo stared at her with a blank face for a second, before he started to laugh hysterically, bending over with his hands on his stomach. 

"Pfft, hahaha—oh my god, this is too good to be true, hahaha," he laughed, tears lining his eyes. "Fuck- I can't breathe." 

It must have been a minute or two, but he finally calmed himself down after hearing her insane reasoning. God, everything made so much sense now. 

"Is this why you spent the last two weeks pretending to have amnesia? You actually believe in those crazy rumors?" Sabo chuckled as he wiped a tear from his eye "Oh, but the thing about the manifesto is true though. We use it to re-educate all kinds of people that have a messed up world view." 

"But mother told me-" 

"Well, your mom isn’t exactly the brightest. She thought I was a noble coming over for tea when I jumped over the castle gates. That’s how I got in." 

"You do kinda look like a noble." Y/N said, still visibly taken aback by his reaction.

"Yeah... But I also had a fucking metal pipe stuck to my back, which should have set some alarm bells ringing in her head. But she greeted me at the front door herself, happy to have a guest." 

"Mother, dear God." she sighed "Wait- why did you have a mental pipe?" 

"Uhmm... no reason. Don't worry about it." Sabo gave her a closed eyed smile.

The room fell silent.

He felt an anxious feeling growing in his chest. Whatever her reasoning was, this poor girl had still been afraid that he was going to hurt her. 

God, he was such an idiot. It wouldn’t be a surprise if she never wanted to see him again, considering how he had acted these last weeks. The thought of that scared him.

No, either way he needed to apologize. Maybe there was a chance that she would forgive him. And even if she didn’t, he would accept that.

Sabo carefully walked over to the bed, and when he saw that Y/N didn’t move away, he sat down next to her.

"I’m sorry Y/N. I never want to harm you in any way. Fuck, I feel horrible for putting you through that. You must have been so anxious the entire time. And I just thought we were playing a silly game. I promise, I never wanted you to feel that." He said, clenching his fist together.

All he could do was stare down on his knees. Sabo had never felt more ashamed than how he felt right this moment. 

Then, he felt a soft hand touch his forearm.

“I believe you.” Y/N’s sweet voice stated, making him look straight at her in shock.

“Why?” He stuttered, still not believing she was actually forgiving him.

“Hmmm… Because I want to.” She said, giving him a bright smile.

Sabo felt how his chest grew warm, like it did every time he saw that smile. 

Did she not understand the severity of this situation? It would make sense considering how she had been treated all her life. He needed her to understand that it was okay for her to be angry. That it was okay if she never wanted to see him again. That she was free to feel whatever she wanted to feel.

“But I stalked you for two weeks. I trapped you in a supply closet. I pressured you about your name over and over. I even stole your underwear. It’s only logical if you hate me, and-”

“But I don’t hate you. And I do believe you don’t want to hurt me.” Y/N sighed, before a serious expression fell over her face. “Look, have there been times I’ve been scared that something bad was going to happen to me if any of you found out who I am? Yes. But it’s a normal feeling to have when all your life you've been told that the Revolutionary Army tortures Nobles, right?” 

Sabo gave her a small nod, but stayed quiet and waited for her to continue talking.

“But for some reason, even though you have taken pleasure in tormenting me, and don’t try to deny it, there was still a part of me that believed that you never actually wanted to do me any harm. That none of the people in this base wanted to hurt me. And I was driving myself crazy trying to explain that feeling away, Stockholm Syndrome and stuff like that… But I do believe you.” 

“But-” Sabo started to say, but was caught off by a finger flicking his forehead.

"Ughh, no more but! It's okay, I actually wasn’t that scared until you told me you were the Second in Command. And even after that, a part of me still didn’t believe you wanted to kill me." Y/N laughed, which was a reaction not quite fitting her statement

"You thought I wanted to kill you?!" Sabo exclaimed, feeling even more embarrassed over how delusional he had been. 

She nodded in response, letting out a small giggle. 

"And I followed you around like a fucking stalker. Shit, do you know how close I was to breaking into your room last night?" He asked, feeling a warm flush spread over his face.

"You were close to doing what?" 

"Uh-" 

“Pfft- hahaha. It’s kinda fun seeing you embarrassed for once.” Y/N snickered, making Sabo feel relieved.

This was good. By some godsent miracle, she had actually forgiven him and was somehow dealing with the whole situation surprisingly well. He had been given a second chance, and he wasn’t going to screw this up.

All he needed to do now was figure out if she had the same feelings as he did. And this time he was going with brutal honesty. 

___

It felt weird. That the small hope that had been inside her during this entire time was actually true. That Sabo never wanted to hurt her. She knew that the moment she heard his sincere words. Pure relife.

And thank god for that, otherwise she would have looked pretty stupid for sticking around this place so long. Haha, wouldn’t that have been a fun ending to her story. “The naive princess who was tricked and fell in love with the cruel enemy.”

No, she liked this ending much better. The ending where she was just a person, not chained to a title, who was free to love whoever she wanted to.

Even if the love in question was directed towards an undeniably handsome man, but with a sadistic streak. Because there was no denying that fact, Y/N knew that he genuinely took pleasure in tormenting her and seeing her embarrassed. And she was slowly starting to accept that she actually enjoyed it too. Not that Sabo needed to know that.

But she wanted to tell him about the feelings she’s been keeping locked away for these past few weeks. What was she supposed to do? There’s rules and etiquette to follow when it comes to these things. She couldn’t just flat out tell him-

“I love you.” Sabo’s statement cut through her train of thoughts.

“Wha-” Y/N was taken aback. Did he just-

“No scratch that.” He said as he moved closer to her, taking hold of her hand. “What I’m feeling for you is probably closer to an obsession at this point, and I know that sounds like a bad thing, but I promise it’s not. I feel a constant urge to be near you and keep you safe and make you feel loved and cared for and-”

Sabo paused, and she believed she had never seen him look this serious. How could he just say all those things so bluntly? She felt her heart beating faster, and how a warm flush spread over her cheeks.

“And I need to know if I’m just delusional, or if you like me too. Because I was certain you did, up until the moment I realized I’ve been a complete idiot during the entire time I’ve known you. And if you don’t, then that’s okay. I promise I will stop tormenting you... But if there’s even the smallest chance that I can be with you, I need to know.” He said, almost sounding desperate. 

Their faces were so close, Y/N could feel Sabo’s breath on her lips. His hand had left hers and traveled to her waist, carefully keeping it there and moving her slightly closer to him. 

She put her hand against his chest, surprised to feel that his heart was beating as fast as hers. Her body felt hot and she was trying her hardest to formulate a response, and before she knew it a single word slipped past her lips.

“Yes.” She said with a shaky voice, and felt how Sabo’s grip grew firmer on her waist.

“Yes what?” He asked, an almost pleading look in his eyes.

“...I love you.” Y/N whispered, barely audible for anyone but Sabo to hear. 

“Thank God, you don’t know how much I’ve carved to hear you say those words.” He said with a relieved smile, making her heart flutter.

She hardly had time to catch her breath before she felt Sabo’s hand snake to the back of her hair, pulling her into a kiss. It caught her a little off guard, but Y/N felt safe as he took the lead, guiding her down on her back.

As the hand on her waist started to rub small circles through the fabric of her shirt, the kiss grew more intense, and she felt how the now familiar knot in her stomach started to form. She wanted more, to feel more, be closer to him. Her body was moving on its own, her hand grazing over his chest, up to his jaw and gently stroking her thumb over his cheek. 

Suddenly Sabo pulled away, breaking the kiss. She could see a soft pink tint over his face as he ran a hand through his hair.

“Fuck… Okay, you need to tell me now if you want to stop. Because we can, if you want to. But I’m barely keeping it together right now. So, do you want me to continue?” He asked with a heavy breath.

Y/N could only nod, making Sabo chuckle a little.

“Angel, I need to hear you say it.” He said, giving her a reassuring smile.

“...yes.” She answered quietly, growing more and more flustered.

“Hm? Yes, what?” A mischievous smile spread over Sabo’s lips as he cupped her chin and tilted her face up towards his.

“I- I want to continue.” Y/N managed to say. She didn’t want this to end now, before it even started.

“Good, that was all I needed to hear. I promise I will take really good care of you.” Sabo stated as he let go of her chin and leaned back so he was sitting on his knees in front of her.

How did he look so calm and in control? While she was barely keeping it together. Wasn’t they supposed to continue? Why did he move away?

“God, your thoughts are written all over your face. So eager, Angel.” He chuckled, as her face turned red. 

She watched as Sabo took his jacket off and loosened the carvant around his neck. She could see how his eyes roamed over her body, something flickering in his gaze as they met hers. She couldn’t figure out what he wanted her to do. 

“I don’t know what-” She started to say, but Sabo cut her off.

“Oh, I’m sorry sweetheart. I was just a little caught up in thoughts about how cute you look when you're flustered. Don’t worry, you don’t need to think right now, I’ll help you.” He stated. “Now, come here and help me take my gloves off.”

“Okay?” Y/N answered, a little confused about his request, but she moved closer to him and started to pull one of his gloves off, but Sabo moved his hand away.

“No, no Angel. Use your mouth.” He said with a grin over his lips.

“W-what?” 

“Well, I can keep them on if you want to… But I promise it's going to feel much better without the gloves. You want it to feel nice, don’t you?” Sabo asked, and she nodded in response “Okay, so take them off, just like I told you to do it.”

Dear God, I’m about to do the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done in my life.

This devilish man must have some secret power over her, because why else would she be doing this. She cautiously eyed the gloved hands as she swallowed what was left of her pride, and slowly started to tug the glove off with her teeth. The taste of leather felt bitter on her lips as she somehow managed to work the first glove of his hand. 

Without giving her a second to breath, a finger pushed against her mouth, waiting for her to start. Y/N glared at Sabo, but he only gave her a smirk in response. The other glove didn’t come off as easily, and truth be told, she suspected that he was making it harder for her on purpose. 

“There. Happy?” She asked in a snarky tone as she tugged the glove of his hand.

“Very.” He snickered back.

“I don’t understand why you enjoy making me feel embarrassed so much.” Y/N said with a small pout.

“Because it’s fun seeing your cute reactions... And because I know you like feeling that way.” Sabo said as he leaned a little bit closer to her.

“I- I do not!” She exclaimed, moving back further up on the bed.

“No, you do.” he said in a calm tone as he started to unbutton his shirt. “I know because you always rub your thighs together when I make you flustered. And that’s usually a good sign”

Y/N tried to move further away, but suddenly felt a tug around her ankle making her fall flat on her back. She felt how Sabo’s hand started to travel up her leg, as he moved over her, one knee placed between her legs, pressing against her.

And dear god, just that little amount of much needed pressure against the right spot felt so good. An airy moan escaped her lips as the small knot in her abdomen grew.

“Fuck… you make the most angelic sounds when you’re needy.” Something dark flickered in Sabo’s eyes. “God, I’m going to have so. much. fun. with. you.”

___

If heaven made a sound, he was pretty sure that this is what it would sound like.

Sabo’s mind was clouded by his Angel’s sweet sobs as he continued to flick his tongue over her clit, moving his fingers inside of her in a steady rhythm. 

He had lost count of how many times he had made her cum by this point, but seeing the effects it had on her made every orgasm worth it. Legs twitching, hair clinging to her forehead, tears lining her eyes.

It was like he was looking at a piece of art.

Sabo knew he was being cruel. But the sound of her choked out voice in between airy moans and heavy breaths were fucking intoxicating. He could probably do this for hours, if he wasn’t burning up with his own greedy need.  

The need to pin her under him. The need to finally feel her clench around him. The need to put marks all over her body. Proof of how much he loved and adored her. Proof that she was his.

And although he knew that he shouldn’t be thinking it, he felt an overwhelming need to turn her into a completely broken mess. 

But he also knew that it was probably time to give her a break, let her catch her breath and rest against his chest-

“Sabo- please~” Y/N whimpered, clenching around his fingers.

Fuck- 

How was he supposed to ignore that? In the past hour, making her cum had become like an addiction to him. He craved to hear her cry out in pleasure as he helped her reach that high over and over again.  

Just one more.

“Oh, I know it’s a lot, sweetheart. You’re being so good for me. Just one more and then we’re done, I promise.” He heard how Y/N’s voice hitched as he quickened the pace of his fingers.

Wet sounds and loud moans filled his head, melting inside every time his name slipped past her lips in small cries of pleasure. She was squirming, basically grinding against his face. 

And Sabo loved every second of it. He loved that he could make her this way. That he could completely shut her brain off and make her lose herself in the pleasure he was giving her.

And as he felt his Angel’s body tense up once more, Sabo couldn’t resist the urge to gently bite her inner thigh.

He carefully pulled his fingers out and leaned back to look at the beautiful picture in front of him. A red flush over her cheeks. Puffy lips, probably from her biting down on them. Chest slowly rising and falling with every breath. 

“Fucking angelic.” Sabo moaned, taking one more good look before he laid down next to her.

He gently pulled her towards him, letting her head rest on his chest as he ran his fingers through her hair, carefully untangling the mess he had created.

“How are you feeling Angel? It wasn’t too much, was it?” He asked, placing his other hand on her thigh, rubbing soft circles on her skin.

“Nice, so nice~ “ Y/N answered in a soft voice, lightly grazing over his chest with her hand.

“Nice? Maybe we should keep going then-” he felt a slap against his chest “I was just joking, sweetheart. It’s late, and I plan on keeping you trapped with me in this room for at least a few days, so you’re going to need the rest.”

“What?” she asked, already half asleep.

“Huh? Oh, nothing. Don’t worry about it, I’ll show you tomorrow.”

___

This must be the most wonderful-

Wait, no. We’re not doing that again. Last time ended in disaster.

Y/N stretched her legs out as she opened her eyes. God, she felt sore. 

She mindlessly put her arms over her head to relieve the ache, but felt how her hand hit something. She looked up, horrified to see her fist pushed in right under Sabo's jaw, quickly moving it away. 

“Well, good morning to you too.” Sabo said as he stroked the place she had hit. “Was I really that mean last night that I deserved being woken up by a punch?”

“I’M SO SORRY, I DIDN’T-” Y/N stopped herself a thought back on the previous night, and on how much her body ached this very moment. “You know what? You do deserve that.”

“Ouch! My poor heart.” He answered in a dramatic voice, placing his hands over his chest.

All of this was so absurd, she couldn’t help but to laugh. 

Yesterday when she woke up, she had been fully prepared to run away. Almost convinced that the man now laying in her bed wanted to drag her to the guillotine. Afraid that she was going to spend the rest of her life camping out in the middle of the woods. But nothing of that had happened.

Funny how things turn out sometimes. Still, there were some things that needed to be cleared up.

“So, what happens now? I mean, didn’t you say that my so-called father basically surrendered yesterday? Doesn’t that mean that the revolution is over?” Y/N asked.

“Hmm, yeah, kinda… Now it’s just the boring administrative work left. You know, sentencing the bad guys to prison, relocating funds, drafting a new constitution, and whatnot.” Sabo said with a shrug “Oh, but don’t worry. Koala can probably handle that alone for the first few days. We’re not leaving this room unless we really, really need to.”

“You’re not keeping me trapped in here. I need food, and a bath.” She scoffed.

“But I thought you loved me?” He answered with a hurt expression. “Now that I think about it, maybe it’s better if we moved to my room instead. I have snacks we can eat, and a shower.”

“That’s not- nevermind.” Y/N sighed. “We’re getting sidetracked… I mean, what happens after all the administrative stuff is done?”

“Oh, we're going back to Baltigo. The island itself might not be so fun, but don’t worry, everyone at the main base will welcome you with open arms. And you can meet Hack, and Dragon, and all the other members. And you can of course move in with me if you want to, but we can also get you your own room if you would prefer that-”

“Wait, wait, wait. You understand that I’m staying here, right?” She stated.

“What?” Sabo asked with a dumbfounded look.

___

Koala was standing on the stern, looking back at the Island they had lived on for the past month. She thought fondly of the people they had helped liberate from the tyrannical ruler of the country. It always felt good leaving after a successful mission.

“We need to turn around.” Sabo said, suddenly standing next to her.

“FUCK- where did you come from.” She exclaimed.

“Koala, tell them to turn the ship around.” He said in a deadly serious tone.

“Why?” She asked, already knowing what this was about.

“I forgot something…” 

“Mhmm, and what would that something be?” Koala said as she rolled her eyes.

“A stubborn brat who doesn’t know what’s best for her.” Sabo answered through gritted teeth.

“Ah-ah, careful there Mr. Chief of Staff for the Revolutionary Army. Kinda sounds like you want to take away someone’s free will.” She teased, earring a scoff in response. “You want Y/N to live free, right? To make her own choices?”

“...yes.” 

“Exactly. So stop pouting like some spoiled rich kid. Besides, Dragon already agreed that it was safe for you to go visit her between missions. You’ll see her again in two months.”

“But what if she misses me and I’m not there?” Sabo asked in a panicked voice.

“She’ll write you a letter!”

“What if she burns the house down?”

“Dear God, have mercy and give me strength… Oh wait, strength.” Koala chuckled as she slammed her fist down at the top of Sabo’s head. “Stop being an idiot”

She glared at Sabo as he rubbed the spot on his head, before she saw him looking back towards the Island.

“Two months…Just two months.” he sighed, with a faint smile spreading over his lips.

___

Tag list: @nymeriiiia @kitsunechan707 @treelogirl @sukunas-play-thing @coffiviv @inoe-kun-blog @asura0nepiece

[justminawrites]

None of you understand Amber Bennett: She's just a girl, your honour. A review of the show writers' least favourite love story from Invincible season 1.

Now let me just preface this by saying I have 2 points to make. Just two, very long, super rambly points that does have mild spoilers for Invincible season 2. Read at your own risk.

Point 1: Amber isn't "understanding" enough is utter bullshit.

There’s no indication that civilians outside of the ones associated with the GDA have any idea how brutal fights are for superheroes. Amber quite literally has no idea what the hell Mark is going through, even after the superhero reveal. The only thing she has a smidgeon of understanding of is his dad beating his ass on live TV. And even that is a heavy maybe because we don’t know how much of the fight the cameras could cover and how much was broadcast to the general public. 

Point 2: Amber’s dated Losers before.

This is stated explicitly in canon, she's “been down that road." Furthermore, she’s also the daughter of a single-parent household. She used to hang out a community centre as a kid because her mom did late hours. Daddy Issues anyone? She’s got a lot of her own problems that we never get to unpack or linger on because the writing decided she wasn’t going to end up with Mark. 

What if she’d already dated an absolute bastard before Mark? Someone who seemed sweet and genuine at first, but then he started slacking. He’d be late to dates, stop taking an interest in anything she did, and just never show up for her in any way that mattered. Amber would make up excuses with her friends and family, oh he’s busy, he’s studying; he cares, I swear, he just has a strange way of showing it. 

Her friends and family don’t believe her completely but they humor her because she really seems to like him. And the ex-boyfriend isn’t a douchebag the whole time.. he brings gifts to make up for being late, he plies and pacifies her with honeyed words and promises to be better.

But each time the lies get more and more difficult to believe. Traffic and science projects, traffic and science projects, even when he shows up smelling like weed and alcohol. Her friends and family give her tight-lipped smiles when her ex-boyfriend gives her sloppy kisses and proclaims over and over “She’s too good for me, this one.”

She tries to be empathetic, she tries to be understanding when they’re alone, he can tell her what it is that’s wrong. But every-time she brings up giving them some space, he takes it as an indication of her not believing him and he guilts her with one sob story or another— she knows him, he was so gentle and respectful before they started dating, does she really think he’d do this to her if he didn’t have a good reason? Just a masterclass in gaslighting. So she gives him a second chance, third chance, fourth even. 

But then he begins cheating on her. Whenever she confronts him about it, he plays victim and accuses her of being “crazy” even though the entire school knows otherwise. She catches him one fine day, and dumps him on the spot. For a short while, Amber’s very proud of this but as time passes she starts to feel extremely embarrassed that it took that long for her to catch on. 

No one blames her, of course, but they all say something along the lines of “We never liked him anyway” which makes Amber doubt the perception of him she had. She internalises their support as a failing on her part to be vigilant, she didn’t want to end up making the same mistakes as her mom, after all. 

Amber becomes guarded. She doesn’t entertain male attention (from Todd, for example) but then she finds out resident wimp Mark Grayson takes a beating for her and she feels bad. 

So she gives him a chance. Mark was a nonissue, a nobody with no track record of being amazing or awful, just an in-between, normal guy who was maybe a little soft spoken and needed to stand up for himself more. 

But every time they try to hang out, something comes in between them. The excuses are laughably obvious this time and Amber is caught between trying to understand if Mark Grayson is trying to let her down easy because he’s not interested or if he’s just another douchebag taking her for a ride. 

He leaves her alone during their study date for an hour to do something shady and/or potentially related to Eve (I know she overheard him yelling at Cecil in his bedroom); Mark tells her he’s been to Mount Everest, but can’t tell her How he got there, and leaves on a non-specific trip for two weeks, right after their first date, and can’t even tell her Where he’s going or what he did when he was there?

So she does what she’d wished she’d done in her first relationship, she sets her boundaries. Firmly. She gives Mark multiple chances to come clean when she tells him she’s not riding that wave again. It’s been brought up a few times that Amber has lingering relationship-trauma.

During their study date Amber tells him she’s been in relationships with violent potentially abusive guys (“Met plenty of guys who were willing to throw a punch for me.”); or when he stands her up for the Dinner with her mom she tells him that he needs to make a choice because she’s “Been down this road before, and once was enough.”

But he still keeps at it and she starts getting tired of defending him to her friends and her mom. He’s just busy, he’s just studying; he cares, I swear, he just has a strange way of showing it. And this time they shake their heads and lightly imply that she’s stuck in a pattern. Amber can feel them comparing Mark to her old boyfriend and it all becomes a bit too much. 

Either he’s a no good drug dealing prick or he’s just wasting her time, whatever it is, Amber’s had enough of being left in the dark. 

The soup kitchen is the final straw, but then she finds out that he gets run over by a bus. He actually gets hurt, this is the first time Amber’s seen him hurt, and she feels awful because if she hadn’t pushed him to show up for her again and again maybe he would’ve been more careful. 

He doesn’t let her visit him in the hospital. A hit and run on the wrong side of town was the story this time— he can’t even tell her this, the specifics of his accident! Eve was his first point of contact after his parents?! At this point Amber is convinced that he’s involved in something violent or something to do with Eve, or both and she’s not sure she wants to keep going with this. 

Amber is confused and hurt but she also feels responsible for Mark’s injuries. Maybe she Was too paranoid, maybe she Was projecting all her relationship-trauma on him and he would tell her what happened at his own pace. So she backtracks, gives him another chance.

College is really the best of all worlds, Mark makes her promises that this time will be different, and Amber tentatively agrees to college together. (She’s still stressed out about his injuries and on edge the whole time though and asks if he has a concussion). 

This is really important because Amber ends up at Upstate U later. She decided to go to college with him, basically because of Him. This wasn’t any specific plan she had before, this was her making room in her life for this boy and potentially everything their lives could be together. 

Then the Reanimen Incident happens. And she loses her shit. Mark Grayson is not the flakey but well-intentioned boyfriend she thought he was.. Mark Grayson is not even a good person! He LEFT her and William at the drop of a hat to save his own slimy skin, that bastard! Her intuition was right, she never should’ve given him a chance. 

Amber was no longer going to give Mark Grayson the time of day, much less share a bed with the self-serving jerk; she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of spinning another tall tale. Or seeing her cry. She closes the door to the shower rooms behind her, and overhears Rick leaving to get them all some beer. Dorm room walls are thin, after all.

Then she hears something else.

“You’re Invincible!” William’s voice carries over excitedly, “And you never told me?”

Here goes the "problematic" bit.

I think Amber was lying when she told Mark she knew he was Invincible weeks ago. Amber didn’t even know who Invincible was until a few minutes after the Reanimen attack. She isn’t acting for anyone around her, she’s genuinely confused when the superhero jets off because she’s never seen him in her life. 

I think she overheard William freaking out about it in the dorm room and she pieced together Mark’s absences with his vague excuses and why couldn’t visit him at the hospital. She takes a shower to cool off but sitting and stewing on all of it just makes her angrier and she decides to go to the frat party just to get away from Mark for a while. 

Now why wouldn’t she just tell him she overheard them talking? 

Amber is an assertive independent character with a lot of pride. And that’s not a bad thing. Amber has a lot to be proud of. She has a strong sense of justice, she doesn’t take crap from anyone and she has too much self-worth to put up with liars. 

You can clearly see this in the way she approaches Mark in the beginning. She asks William if he’s dating Eve, and then instead of calling him herself, she gets Todd to give Mark her number so he can call her if he’s interested, despite the fact that she already is. She has too much pride to chase him. It’s one of her fixed flaws, and it’s consistent to her character. 

So finding out that Mark is actually Invincible almost by accident, is kind of embarrassing for Amber. Not only because she yelled at him for disappearing but for all the times he misled her and lied to her only to actually have a good reason for doing it. There’s a lot of mixed emotions there, shame, guilt, concern. Guilt.

Admitting that she overheard he was Invincible would be like admitting she was a stupid, nagging girlfriend who had no right to be a part of his life (the way the fandom perceives her) so she doesn’t. She tries to distract herself with the party, flirts with someone she just met not ten minutes ago, and feels awful because he immediately drops the girlfriend bomb. 

Now she’s forced to confront the fact that she has a boyfriend, and her flakey, well-intentioned superhero boyfriend is sitting and moping in the dorm room because she doesn’t have the guts to tell him she knows. Because telling him she knows would remove the choice he’d need to make when deciding whether or not he was serious about their relationship.

Amber was serious, Amber was going to change her life and potentially open her future to college with him, but was Mark really sure about Them if he couldn’t even tell her of his own accord? 

Telling him would be like giving him another out. And Amber was done giving him an out. 

When he finally confesses he doesn’t see why she’s mad at him, because he doesn’t see her at all. He can’t even begin to imagine what this roller coaster of a weekend has been for her because she’s been serious about him all this time and it took them breaking up completely for Mark to choose her back in the first place and go all in. 

Now it’s true that Mark is entitled to his secrets but Amber is also entitled to being upset that he can’t tell her 1 solid thing about his life. Not one thing does he trust her enough to explain, and at that point why should they even be dating each other? Why should she change the course of her future for a guy who can’t tell her where he was last weekend?

Then Omni-man beats him up on live TV, and now that she knows that he’s Invincible, she finally gets a glimpse into the bloody, gruesome world that is Mark’s. His Dad isn’t a superhero, his Dad is a Monster, and Mark is discovering this the same time as the rest of the world.

So she freaks out because she cares, and she’s so relieved to see him not beat to a bloody pulp like on TV that she kisses him. She likely had no intention of getting back together with him before that, but world-ending fiascos often come with heightened emotions, and they’re just kids at the end of the day. 

She’s not a manipulative, narcissistic villain, she’s just a proud girl, in love with a boy who can’t decided whether or not he loves her back. 

Now do I think Mark is a terrible jerk who doesn’t deserve Amber? No. I watched Invincible the same way it was intended, almost entirely through Mark’s eyes, and it’s hard to assign blame in this case because we see how horrifying and traumatic being a superhero actually is. But that’s the point, we only see one half of the story. 

We see Amber through Mark’s eyes and in his opinion she could afford to be more compassionate to his excuses the moment she finds out he’s a hero, the way Eve can, but that’s not true at all because Amber has no idea what being a hero is like. Eve does, and that’s the difference that Mark is wilfully blind to. 

But Mark also has no idea what Amber’s life is like and it’s easy to get lost in the sea of all the lives lost and villains fought, that he genuinely hasn’t spent any time with his girlfriend as a person beyond his Girlfriend. Amber isn’t a person to him, like William stopped being eventually; they became sort of tethers to Mark’s humanity, a way to distinguish himself from his Dad. A way to ground him. 

Seriously? When was the last time Mark even talked to William, his once Best Friend? They’re not his Mom, they’re concepts to him. They’re civilians, potential victims he could end up losing if he doesn’t police himself and his powers. Mark slowly becomes disillusioned to his own life as a human, the more the leans into the Viltrumite half of his parentage. 

It’s a little tragic but it’s the story we’re seeing. In season 2, when Mark and Amber break up and he gives up his dream for college, these two things are almost explicitly correlated. Mark is coming to terms with the fact that he’s going to outlive everyone he knows, even his new baby brother and that is just the most chaotic example of a slow-burn trauma if I’ve ever seen one. He’s giving up being human, but maybe not giving up his humanity. 

______________________________________________________________

TLDR: None of you understand Amber Bennett because the writers decided that Mark would outlive her before he ever had the chance to see things from her perspective and I am SALTY about it

[llamaisllama777]

My THEORIES ON WHO THE EAPS KILLER COULD BE?

Since tomorrow's Friday and the killer always strikes on Friday and I have a feeling we may learn who the killer is in tomorrow's episode I wanted to get my theories out on who I think the killer really is...

(This will either age really well or really poor.)

Suspect 1. Michael Afton(of the EAPS universe)

So, in either episode 3 or 5 of EAPS Eclipse briefly mentions that Michael Afton does indeed exist here in this universe too and that he build something that's down in the basement that they should keep an eye on. (Ominous and foreboding), and since then, we haven't heard about since. Either Michael has been fired from Henry's fazbear, or Michael still has a job there.

I can see Mike being the killer in this world cause in this universe his mom, Wanda Afton, was accused of being the killer back in the day. (She might have been the killer back in the days of the MCI Incident, but nothing was ever confirmed) Mike might be following in his mom's footsteps. Either Mike is doing this to make his mom lose her business cause ever since the deaths of the children. Fazbear has been losing the case. Mike might be doing this to spite his mom. Or maybe Mike was ALWAYS the killer in this world, and he either let his mom take the fall or she tried to take the fall for him to protect him. Mike might be the psychopath in this world, not his mom. Mike is also a likely suspect cause Mike knows how to build animatronics. He's built animatronics. He would know about the recall code. And the ins and outs of the building, seeing as how he's worked there for a while.

Problems with this theory

-Mike hasn't been mentioned since ep 3 or 5

-Why would Henry even keep Michael on staff? Maybe Henry is just genuinely a nice dude, but letting the son of your arch-enemy work for you during a lawsuit where you are actively suing their parent for their business feels a little... dumb.

-If Mike is doing this: WHY? What would drive a guy like Mike to homicide? Spite? Revenge? Pursuit of Science? Remnant?

Chances of it being Mike 7/10

Suspect 2. Henry Emily

The lawsuit has really been going in Henry's favor since these deaths have been happening. Maybe Henry is willing to let a few eggs get cracked if it means he wins. The killer does know his way around the animatronics and since Henry did help build the animatronics he would know about the recall codes and that flashing lights could blind them temporarily. It's possible Henry IS the killer from the MCI incident in this world. Maybe Henry and W.A.'s roles were swapped, so Henry lost Sammy and went mad, trying to find a way to bring him back. He's restarting the remnant experiments perhaps and needs more remnant

Problems with this theory.

-Henry is too old. There was no way he could never be the killer. Unless he is surprisingly spry for an old dude.

-Would he really risk his whole life and winning the lawsuit just for a chance he'll win the lawsuit by murdering a bunch of kids?

-Henry seems to care about his kids. Why would he take someone else's from them.

Chances of Henry being the killer 4/10

Suspect 3. Charlie Emily

Okay..... so.... this is probably the least likely-est one(but also the coolest and angstiest one). Charlie is mentioned once in this series. She is alive in this world! She was never killed by Wanda in this world. From what we've heard, she's in college, I think? She seems to be doing good, but what if she is helping her father win the lawsuit by making things look really bad for Fazbear. She is the daughter of one of the founders, and Henry did take her to work a lot, I'm sure. Meaning she would know the ins and outs of Fazbear. The buildings, the animatronics, Everything! It's likely she could be the killer.

Problems with this theory

-she's in college

-She has literally only been mentioned once in the show(then again, so has Michael)

-I mainly want this to happen because the angst would be delicious!

-In TSBS main universe, it's been shown Charlie isn't really interested in her dad's work, so there is a chance it's the same here in the EAPS universe.

Chances of Charlie being the killer 3/10

Suspect 4. The Mimic!

Okay, while yes, the suspect appears to be human. There's a chance it could be a skin suit!(Possibly from a missing person)

The Mimic is known to steal suits and even people's skin! (I.E. Burntrap.) The Mimic has been known to mess with tech and manipulate his voice. So, there is a chance the killer really is an animatronic, not human. Eclipse did mention he saw something the Michael of this universe in the basement of the Lefte Pizza-plex. He said it looked like a kinda like a rabbit. One of the Mimic's most popular fan designs was a tall bulky animatronic with bunny ears. (I LOVED THAT DESIGN, SO MUCH! The Canon one is cool, too.) It's possible the Mike of the EAPS world created the Mimic, and now Mimic is going on a killing spree. The Mimic knows a lot about the pizzaplex it would know every escape route. The best places to hide. Where the cams are. Plus, the Mimic can copy voices so that could explain how it lures kids away from the animatronics and their folks.

Problems with this theory

-Mimic is not yet confirmed to exist in this world, but if Detective Larson from the stitchwrait books exists in this world, then there is a high probability that the Mimic exists here too.

-No adult has been reported missing. So, no free human flesh for you Mr. Mimic.

-The Mimic is known to be more brutal and violent with its kills more messy, not a clean stab like how I assume the kids have been killed.

Chances on the Mimic being the killer 7/10

These are all my current suspects.

I highly doubt it's Vincent. 1. Vincent has kids and seems pretty broken up by these murders. 2. Just cause Vincent is named after a very popular variant of William doesn't mean he is the killer.

So, let me know your theories and any evidence you may have to help confirm or denie my theories.

[sounds-of-some-day]

So I just read the first four issues of the original 1940s Captain America run.

Some observations:

It's still kinda weird for Bucky to be a child.

Steve is a private in the military (to maintain his secret identity I guess).

It's very much not what you think of when you think comic-booky. There's no, like, comic book science or whatever. Outside of I guess the serum. But that's still plausible.

So all of Steve's villains are just normal guys. All spies so far, but also very ordinary.

It's funny because each "case" (issue story arc) is presented as if it's going to be some supernatural phenomenon and then it's just some dude.

Very Scooby-Doo villain.

Even the Red Skull, who of course, originally was not German (all Steve's early villains are essentially American traitors). Red Skull was a capitalist, basically a military contractor for planes, doing it for the money.

Before Red Skull is outed, as the business guy, he laments a plane crashing because the plane was beautiful (and expensive to build) and Steve is like "Uh... And there were people on that plane, and they died, what the fuck dude??? Get your priorities right," and this is why I love Steve.

Anyway, Red Skull dies in his first issue because he rolls over on his hypodermic needle full of poison and Steve just lets him.

Every story arc is contained within one issue.

Steve is like, extremely chill. Every time someone tells him he can't do something, he's just like "Okeydoke, I won't do anything.... but Captain America, on the other hand, he's definitely gonna go fuck some Nazi spies up."

Also, he's always telling Bucky to stay behind, and then Bucky does, like the exact opposite of that, and Steve (sorry "Captain America" because Steve is being a good boy and staying out of it like he was told) always has to bust in and save him, and then he's always just like "Bucky, I told you to stay home and you didn't listen to me, you little rascal, you." And I'm like, Steve. Steve, this kid is going to get himself killed.

Also it's hilarious to me that Steve has a secret identity, because everyone knows his sidekick is a child named Bucky, and yet no one thinks anything about the big blond guy in the army that hangs out with a child named Bucky all the time.

Also, yes, Bucky is also in the army, kinda, cause each battalion has a... child... mascot.... for some reason?!? Like, I know they shoehorned in Bucky so that little boys reading the comics could imagine themselves fighting alongside Captain America, but the whole time I'm just like who is allowing this child to run around with Captain America and risk his life??

Because Bucky is his sidekick because he accidentally walked into Steve's tent when he was changing out of the uniform and Steve is just like, "Welp, you know my secret identity now, so I guess you gotta be my sidekick." And I'm just like, what? Steve. What are you doing?!?

Anyway, those are my thoughts on the first four issues of Captain America (1941).

[whatkindanameisfergus]

my 11 year old cousin: I hate Iron Man. He's egoistic and arrogant and he was wrong.

me: First of all HOW DARE YOU.

[bloodgulchblog]

Starship Troopers is an interesting book (note: I said interesting, not good or correct), and I really think most people don’t know what it’s like.

If you haven’t read it, you probably have some idea of the shape of it based on 1) the movie and 2) the sheer volume of things that were heavily influenced by it (or heavily influenced by a work heavily influenced by it, given that the thing is over 60 years old and is retired with grandchildren now.)

You would be forgiven if you naturally suppose that Starship Troopers would have a lot of military action and alien fighting. It seems like a pretty obvious conclusion to draw. Hell, that was what I expected from Starship Troopers when I first read it as a teenager.

Starship Troopers is, at its core, Robert Heinlein conducting an extended thought experiment about morality and government. There are actually very few scenes of military action, much of the book is consumed by characters talking about how parts of their society (and especially the military) work to lay out an incomplete sketch of a “utopia.”

And the end result is pretty fucking wild.

Strap in, gang, this is a long one:

Our protagonist, who narrates the whole shebang in the first person, is Juan “Johnnie” Rico. If Troopers can be said to have a plot, it’s a coming-of-age story for Johnnie. The first chapter is a relatively exciting (if you enjoy Heinlein’s style) 20 page jaunt in Johnnie’s boots as a cap trooper: a power-armored soldier who drops from orbit with his unit to fight aliens. (The original idea from which MJOLNIR armor and ODSTs would come from is exactly this.) After that, we record scratch over to you-may-be-wondering-how-I-got-in-this-situation and go back in time.

Johnnie lives on Earth in the space future. He’s a rich kid on the cusp of 18. His parents expect him to start learning to be a good businessman, so he can one day take over for his father as head of The Family Business. (I don’t remember what The Family Business is, and I suspect Heinlein never bothered to tell me.)

However, there’s a flaw in this plan: Johnnie’s very best friend Carl has been talking to him about enlisting for Federal Service. Johnnie has never seriously considered it, and his parents haaaate the idea, but the thought won’t leave him alone. He goes with Carl, and when they encounter one of their classmates (a very pretty and smart girl, Carmencita) who wants to become a starship pilot (because Heinlein really thinks he’s really doing something with having only women be pilots because they’re naturally “better” at it) it cements the decision.

This is where we hit upon the foundation of Heinlein’s experiment: The thing about Federal Service in this world is that it’s the only way to become a full citizen with voting rights. Most people (like Johnnie’s parents) don’t think the right to vote is worth the effort and risk.

(I want to let you know an extremely funny spoiler: Johnnie's conflict with his father is finally resolved when, late in the book.... Johnnie's dad enlists in the infantry too because his son was a much bigger man for it and he is so proud of him now and Johnnie is so proud of his father and we are clearly supposed to be cheered and enheartened by this wild fucking reunion.)

Heinlein would later argue in an essay that he was sick of people assuming that Starship Troopers’ Federal Service is always military, but… That very much is the implication in here and I think it’s fair to read it that way. The 18-year-olds are met with a recruiting officer with multiple missing limbs, who has the job because it’s supposed to give them pause. He even tries to warn them off, but they’re all very sure.

(It's actually like, really funny to me.)

BONUS ROUND: the doctor that gives Johnnie a clean bill of health talking about how silly and stupid it is to go in for Federal Service, and some extremely 1950s science fiction verification of documents:

Carmencita is sharp enough that she’s probably a shoo-in for a pilot and Carl has zeroed in on working with electronics since he was a kid, but Johnnie has never been a particularly good student. He puts infantry down as his very least preferred option for service (you don’t get to choose, you see, but placement considers your preferences) but quickly figures out they’ve decided he’s unfit for anything else.

It’s okay, though! He can still back out! There will be no consequences… except forfeiting ever getting the chance to vote.

The first half of this book concerns Johnnie’s training to become a cap trooper in the MI (Mobile Infantry), which is intense and full of opportunities to quit and also we get to hear Heinlein talk about how public flogging (with an actual whip) serves a super important social function in this society.

There's a Big Fucking To-Do when one of the men in Johnnie's class successfully punches their drill sergeant, which gets him posted up for 10 lashes and dishonorably discharged.

The thing about that, however, is how it gives Starship Troopers the opportunity to have Johnnie overhear a conversation about it where Sergeant Zim is trying to get transferred back to a combat team because he is so ashamed of this as a personal failure:

Johnnie himself fucks up bad enough during training that he is also flogged, but he 100% believes that it was Totally Good And Justified And Fine so it's Fine.

The back half of the book has some of Johnnie in the MI, but most of all it’s about when he decides to go career and goes to officer candidate school and then the big mission that determines whether he gets to be a lieutenant or not.

Style-wise the book is an easy and approachable read, but you quickly figure out that many scenes boil down to an older, more experienced man (usually a flashback to his one high school teacher, later usually one of his officer school instructors) lecturing Johnnie about how the world works, why it does, and why that’s so very good. (All of these characters have pretty much the same voice.)

Here are what I understand to be the central ideas that hold up the roof in this book:

1. A human being is, by nature, a selfish short-sighted creature uninterested in anything but own survival, and strict discipline is necessary to train somebody into being a productive member of society. (It’s pretty much the same thing as the Christian “people are by nature sinful” thing but Heinlein managed to turn it around into a “scientific” evolutionary biotruth mess for himself instead.)

2. Corporal punishment is useful because pain is the most evolutionarily natural way for a human to understand that what they’ve done is a threat to their own survival, so switching children and flogging adults is a Good Idea Actually.

(Bob....)

3. In this fictional world, the government is good because the only people who vote are veterans. This isn’t because veterans are smarter or superior or impossile to corrupt, but because sweating out a term of Federal Service proves that someone is capable of putting the good of their civilization over their own safety/wellbeing and that proves they have the right, mature, moral character to help make decisions. Heinlein really, really, really wanted to tell the audience here that being willing to fight for your country (and the women and children!) was the noblest thing a human being could possibly do and he spent a lot of ink about that here.

(Bob Please)

4. Emphasizing that people have “rights” and not making them work for them coddles them and makes having rights meaningless, and also what about all those ne’erdowells that will use their rights to make bad selfish choices???? Clearly this system would be so much better.

5. All the people in the service are So Good And Noble because Heinlein’s magical space military is so super good at weeding out almost all the bad eggs during the selection process, and if anyone Truly Bad is in there it’s an unpreventable freak accident (that should properly be resolved via execution, and they’re willing to do that so It’s Fine.)

6. An officer is to be the best of the best of the best as a human being and all of the officers we see are EXTRA noble and good because they love their people SO much and it’s so hard to be an officer but they’re all SO BRAVE and SO SELFLESS and and and and-

7. Imperialism and unlimited expansion are Fine Actually because if you don’t expand, you’re going to be expanded upon yourself by somebody else so you might as well, and all wars are Actually just about population and need for territory anyway:

(Bob please I'm DYING)

8. The alien bugs are a pretty stupid analogue for communists because Heinlein was fuck deep in the red scare at the time. Mostly, they’re an implacable brick wall enemy that we get to feel zero remorse about because they are So Incomprehensible And Alien. Also, the whole rest of Heinlein’s super noble space military doesn’t look quite so good when they don’t have anything to fight/if we might feel bad for whoever they’re fighting.

9. The best and happiest place for Johnnie in the whole universe is aboard his specific ship (The Rodger Young) with his specific unit (The Roughnecks) and every passage about his time with his unit between drops is dripping with yearning for this imagined perfect manly cameraderie. The death of his unit's Lieutenant hurts him worse than the death of his actual mother when the Bugs attack Buenos Aires.

But oh, Johnnie is definitely not gay, he waxes poetic about how beautiful and important and good women are at every mention, here he is talking about R&R on a safe planet and being Extremely Normal about the one guard posting on a ship where you watch the door to the part the female crew uses:

The main thing to know about Heinlein’s vision here in this book is that it is, of course, obviously completely bonkers. He clearly thinks he has figured people out and knows how human beings work. It's very earnest hard-sf white man nerd shit where he thinks that the problems of very large numbers of human beings are a puzzle you can solve if you put all the right pieces in the right place just so. He’s so excited about how he has invented this imagined future where women don’t face sexism and can do all kinds of jobs (while he clearly has plenty of sexist ideas about women on display) and people are not judged by their race. (Many characters, including Johnnie himself, are not white and there’s even a conversation where Johnnie and another character talk about how they both speak different languages with their families, and Heinlein is clearly convinced he’s writing a race-blind meritocracy, but also Heinlein does shit like compliment a Native American character by comparing him to his “scalp-hunting” ancestors like ???????)

Heinlein is so very wrong. He has a pretty poor theory of mind, which is easily evident because his characters are very samey and wooden. (I’m told this is pretty par of the course for him, and this matches what I remember of Stranger in a Strange Land. ) This extends to his inability to figure out why people do what they do, and his failures in that are how he arrived at these fucking buckwild conclusions. Is it any wonder his ideas about how to run a good society are fucked up when he’s operating from premises about humans being inherently selfish and the only possible reason to not just go along with The Rules is ignorance of their purpose?

Starship Troopers is dripping in rationalization. Starship Troopers desperately wants its military to be good and noble and necessary, it thinks that if it pushes around all the numbers of officers and men and arrangements of rules into exactly the right shape it can solve all the problems like equations and everything will snap into place and run perfectly and be totally moral and perfectly justified.

This is why this book was controversial, and why it launched decades of discourse in science fiction. The thing about milsf is that even if you hate Starship Troopers and want to read other milsf that hates Starship Troopers, it’s still in dialogue with Starship Troopers and the legacy of Heinlein.

I didn’t like this book for its content, I found it really interesting to engage with because of the connections I know it has.

BUT WE TALK ABOUT HALO ON THIS BLOG...

That's why we're here, so let me give you all a tour of various items of interest and relevance to our subject of hyperfixation here on bloodgulchblog dot tumblr dot hell.

Heinlein invented ODSTS:

The idea that has endured the most from Starship Troopers, more than any other (which is thankful considering what I've been talking about all through this post), is powered armor. Heinlein pretty much invented the space marine as a science fiction trope, and especially the powered armor:

When someone talks about a "bug hunt" when it comes to fighting aliens in a scifi story, that terminology was born here.

As you may have noticed here and in the section about Bugs: Heinlein's Terran Federation has the power to bombard planets with nuclear weapons to reduce the surface to radioactive glass, golly where have we seen that?

(See also in the bug section: a planet-cracking weapon called a nova bomb!)

Plus I would feel remiss if I didn't show you some of the naming scheme for some ships in this world:

...I'm not sure how to end this one.

I have a movie to watch, so I can finally comment on it. (The movie is controversial. Fans of Starship Troopers who agreed with Heinlein hate it, people who recognize how bonkers Heinlein's ideas are appreciate that the movie seems to understand this just as well. I need to go see it for myself. It's on archive.org if you spend 2 seconds hunting, if you also want to.)

I also have an anime to watch.

DID YOU KNOW THERE WAS AN ANIME?

This thing got a six-episode OVA released in 1988, right after Heinlein died and nine years before the live action movie. (It's supposed to be a lot more faithful to the novel, so I Will Report Back On This.)

Anyway: idk, if you also want to poke around in a weird dead thing, the full text of Starship Troopers is incredibly easy to find. It's less than two-hundred pages long. It will make you feel like you're taking crazy pills.

[moemammon]

When I was in High School, my crush and I got into a fight and neither of us were talking to each other. One day I was headed up the stairwell to get to my science class, when I saw them coming up from behind... I don't think they had even noticed me yet considering that they were busy talking to their friend BUT I am slow going up stairs so even if I rushed up the stairs roadrunner style they would have caught up to me, well; the little corner that connects the steps going up to the second floor and the steps heading down to the ground floor had a large open window... and I jumped out, like I literally just jumped out. I didn't even think it through, I just saw the window and my body was like "Yep, IK what to do." I landed on a bush or tree? It's too big to call a bush but too small to call a tree, landed in a squat before my feet gave out and I fall onto my knees and got two large grass stains on my jeans knee part, couldn't walk right either after that landing, I was shaky all day lol but it was a risk well calculated bc the whole thing would have been so awkward. I mean we used to be like BFFS before the rumors began and then they started and we just stopped talking without warning, we couldn't even look at each other. Our science partners, bc we were in groups of four, literally got fed up of our bullshit bc we literally refused to acknowledge the others existence... anyway, I digress...

Anyway, this whole story is a long winded way of me requesting how the brothers would react to an MC that literally just jumps out windows to avoid awkward moments, or to dodge people that want to ask them for favors, or when they straight up want to avoid someone?

And sorry about the large ass message, but thanks for letting me vent

You have a special place in my heart, window-jumping anon. Just uhhhhhhh look down next time okay? Ily

The Demon Brothers react to GN!MC jumping out of a window to avoid an awkward moment

(Mario jumping sound effect)

Lucifer

He approached you after class to ask exactly what you were snickering at your D.D.D. about during class.

Must've been real funny if you weren't listening to your lecture, huh?

"I imagine you've somehow found something worthy of laughing about in Demonology 101?"

You do not have the guts to tell him that you and Mammon were texting back and forth, abusing a new photo editing app to alter pictures of the eldest himself.

I mean, take a wild guess about how he’d react to seeing how big you edited his head to be-

The avatar of pride lets his eyes pierce into you, like he's trying to stare a hole through your blanket of "uh"s and "um"s,

You don't exactly see a way out of this one, but you can NOT let Lucifer see your photo gallery.

So you glance to your left to the open classroom window, and do the only thing you can think of: you jump.

Luckily you're on the ground floor so you??? really didn't have to jump so dramatically. But the fact that you yeeted yourself into a bush JUST to escape has left Lucifer speechless.

Honestly? He so impressed with your dedication that he's not gonna stop you. Besides, he's gonna see you back at home anyway so-

Also thinks you might be hanging around Mammon too much because that 100% seems like a stunt he’d pull.

Mammon

GIVE GOLDIE BACK RIGHT NOW

He KNOWS Lucifer told you to bring the credit card to him, and he demands to know where it's hidden! He's positive you know where it is!

But you don't really though?? You just brought the card to him like you were asked. If anything, you're the victim here!

But Mammon isn't having that. The avatar of greed is circling around you like an angry cat, patting you all over like airport security to see if you've got his beloved card.

"Where is it, huh?! Ya really think you can steal from THE Mammon?! Even if Lucifer told ya to, who do ya think you are?!"

When he has confirmed that you don't in fact have his previous Goldie, he's now cornering you up against a wall.

If looks could kill, you would've exploded into a fine powder

And you feel like your mental strength is about to do just that. So what do you do after you notices the slightest of breezes caress your face?

You jump outta that open window, before Mammon can even finish his "Wh- Oi! What're ya-"

Even though you just face planted into the garden, you're up on your feet and making a mad dash for somewhere that wasn't here.

Mammon lets you run for ten while seconds before he's hopping out after you. You think you can outfox the Great Mammon?! Think again!!!

Levi

You... weren't interested in this movie in the slightest, but you didn't have the heart to tell Levi that. Especially not after he’d begged/harassed you for the past week about watching it with him!

Reluctantly you agreed, and now you were suffering,,,But Levi was ecstatic! This movie was a classic! Sure it was an old one and the acting was a little bad, but you could overlook that if you watched it with your heart, not your eyes!

According to Levi.

You managed to keep your eyes open for the grueling one and a half hour movie, enduring every corny line of bad acting, horrible CGI, and lame sound effects straight out of a 90s super hero movie, and now the hell was finally over...

Or so you though, until Levi followed that up by immediately pulling out a cosplay outfit worn by one of the supporting characters in the show.

Funny how it seemed specifically tailored to your measurements. Even funnier how Levi was looking at you with those damned eyes.

You knew what he wanted without him even having to say it. But one look at the gaudy outfit he presented to you made your heart burn with a sudden indescribable urge.... to escape.

Honestly you caught him so off guard by suddenly getting up and sprinting out of the room, that he makes a sound that's pretty much the noise equivalent of "?!?!?!?!?!?"

He watches you run down to the end of the hall, throw the window open, and fuckin JUMP. Pretty sure he just witnessed your death??

Also this kinda solidified his 'gross otaku' mentality, seeing as you literally jumped out of a window to get out of cosplaying with him. A simple no would've sufficed, MC.......,.,,..,,,

Hey gamers... can we get an F in the chat? 😔✌️💦

Satan

Satan lent you a book to read last week that he was sure you'd be interested in! He found it pretty interesting himself, so he wants to see if you'd like it as much as he did.

That being said, you don't have the heart to tell him that you,,, didn't read any of it. Well you kind of did, if the cover counts for anything.

You doubt he would accept that as an answer, considering how you told him how much you appreciated receiving the book, and how you'd definitely read it and let him know how it was.

So now, Satan had come into your room with two cups of tea, ready to settle down and have a nice, long talk about your thoughts on the riveting plot that you promised you would indulge in.

"I'm really glad you decided to read it. I found that the protagonist reminded me a lot like you. I'd like to know what you thought about it."

Satan sets down the tea cups, and one sip tells you that he brewed it exactly the way you like.

His expression is eager and warm as he waits for you to begin gushing about just how deeply the story touched you... how absolutely moved you are by the sheer majesty that was the book he lent you...

Okay yeah, you're sweating bullets. You can't imagine how the sparkly eyed avatar of wrath would react to learning that you chose the company of your D.D.D. over Satan's book.

You don't have such an ice cold hard that you can just crush this book nerds dreams like that! And every time you look at his expectant face, the weight of your crimes weigh heavier on you until... you break.

Satan watches in shock and awe as you almost perfectly reenact the big scene where the main character leaps out of the window of a building rigged to explode, before making their escape. And you did just that.

Wow.. he never thought you could be so moved by a story, but he completely understands...

Asmo

How many outfits, Asmo. HOW MANY OUTFTITS WILL IT TAKE TO APPEASE YOU?

He's made you model TWELVE outfits so far, and you swear if you see another ascot, you're gonna lose your mind.

Asmodeus doesn't seem to notice the way the light slowly fades from your eyes, because he's pulling out outfit number thirteen with that cheery smile of his.

"Isn't this one absolutely adorable? Look, this part will look lovely around your waist! This part here hugs your body in all the right places, and this-"

You can't do it. You've gotta get out of here. You'd love to stand around and get mild rug burn from trying on a billion different clothes, but-

Actually no you wouldn't.

You DID promise Asmo you'd hang out with him today, but this wasn't really your idea of a good time.

"-Oooh, just thinking about it makes me want to eat you up~! Here, put it on for me, will you? I'll give you a kiss as a reward!"

You would do no such thing.

You make a mad dash for his ornate window and push it open. He has no time to stop you as he helplessly watches you vault yourself out like the room was on fire.

"MC?! Wh-where are you going?? Come back here! Grass stains are impossible to get out of that fabric!!!"

Beel

He means well. I swear he does. It's just that Beel can be a little... overbearing when he's worried about you. He cares, okay?

But he hasn't seen you eat anything all day! You tell him it's because you've got a stomach ache from who knows what, and you promise you've had little snacks here and there to keep from starving, but he can't accept that!

Eating is important, and you need it to survive. So Beelzebub was currently trying to nudge your mouth open with a pizza slice, while you vehemently refused. "Just one bite. And then another after that. You have to eat, or you'll go hungry... and I don't want that."

Beel knows the true pain of being hungry, and he’d never wish that on you! So just forget about your stomach ache for two seconds and open up-

Not that you really can. The aroma of that pizza was not sitting well on your stomach, and you were pretty sure you needed a fast escape or you'd risk losing your lunch. Greasy foods didn't exactly mix well with sour stomachs...

Beel still won't let up. He has a strong hand planted firmly on the small of your back, as if trying to prevent you from leaning back any further in your attempt to escape the pizza.

"If you eat this, I'll treat you to dessert at Madam Screams," he says, as if bribing your refusal of food USING food will somehow work out.

You can't break his heart, but you seriously can't eat that! Your head is spinning, thoughts racing, face becoming greasier and greasier from the pizza pressed against it, and-

You snap. In a sudden burst of strength you break free from Beel's grasp, and sprint toward the nearest window. All you see is your chance for freedom, and you're taking it.

You leap out and tumble into the ground, all while Beelzebub wonders what?? Just happened???? Did you really hate pizza that much...?

He never knew you were such a picky eater... To think you'd go so far as to jump out of the window though...

Belphie

You thought it was cute at first, when Belphegor wanted you to join him for his naps. And you didn't mind much. It was the weekend, you were tired, and he makes a pretty good body pillow.

But you didn't realize he planned for this to become an everyday thing. The youngest might not act it, but he sure could be spoiled.

But seriously, if you slept any longer, you might never have a normal sleep schedule again! It never occurred to you just how often Belphie sleeps.

He's definitely not human, because there's no way you can keep up with that, and maintain a normal lifestyle.

But the way he quietly, gently grabs your sleeve to cue your next nap session makes your heart clench. Why was it so damned hard to say no to this gremlin??

You were trying your best though, but the words always seemed to get caught in your throat. Belphie picked apart your excuses, doing everything in his power to take you back to the attic.

"You can study when you wake up." "Mammon wants to go shopping? Reschedule." "Lucifer told you not to be late to the board meeting? Just hide."

You're starting to get sucked into the sleepy lull of his voice, and it feels like your entire body is becoming heavy with fatigue. But no.... you resist!

Since there's no escaping this through words, you have to think fast. Fortunately, your fast thinking has led to an amazing solution!

Jump out of the window, baby

Belphie is just??? Did you fuckin???? Are your legs okay??????????????

He probably stops asking you to nap with him for a while, since you're willing to almost break your legs just to get out of it. You're gonna make him have weird dreams....

[windblooms]

childe scenario – after the golden house

you, an ex-fatui executive, decide against your better judgment and tend to the wounds of the near-dead 11th harbinger following his duel at the golden house.  spoilers for the 1.1 archon quest.

gender-neutral reader.  enemies to lovers  soft spot syndrome.  sfw, but contains mentions of blood/injury.  also childe briefly in foul legacy armor.  canon-divergence.  2669 words (nice).  

with the fatui’s nails so deep into the city, staying in liyue probably wasn’t your brightest idea in retrospect.  

you blame your sentimentality of liyue on the exact same thing that caused you to leave the fatui in the first place: wanting to live without fear.  while the fatui treated you well enough, as you were considerably efficient in your ranks, being part of a partially underground, partially illegal business wasn’t exactly the most liberating practice either.  it didn’t take long for you to realize that, behind their scheming and pretenses of fair economics, the fatui would have their underlings wound so incredibly tight around their fingers that their violent tasks would rapidly become suffocating. 

that is, once you were in the fatui, getting out would be akin to scaling qingyun peak with one arm tied behind your back.

the only reason you were able to?  because you ran.  you were desperate for a new life, sure, but also you weren’t below realizing when something was out of the question.  it took a few months to shake them off your trail, having to move constantly between fontaine and mondstadt, but you finally settled in liyue.

it was a quiet, peaceful city.  the governing body was fair enough with its jurisdictions, and after a year of hiding, you were able to enjoy the lantern rite festival without fear.

that is, until the northland bank sat its obnoxious ass down the street.

archons, really, once you found a place you thought was safe enough, you’d have to start moving again.  initially, you reasoned that it had been over a year, and that the fatui surely wouldn’t go hunting for a runaway executive.  hell, you weren’t even that high on the ladder.  however, a few run-ins with scaramouche and pulcinella had left you paranoid enough that, if they spotted you, they would surely put an end to your traitorism. 

honestly, you should’ve ratted them out to the knights of favonius while you were in mondstadt.  make a quick bargain, have jean toss a few coins your way, and you would be set.  it would’ve definitely been worth the trouble, now with the knowledge that the fatui were your neighbors.  

now, there’s no time to dwell on what you could’ve done.  it’s either run again, or hold your ground right under the fatui’s nose.  you might, sort of, maybe, probably do not have the funds to move for the third time in a row, but maybe counting couldn’t hurt –

no, yeah, it hurts, you grimace as you slide the coin bag back in your bedside drawer.  outside, it’s dark, and the sky seems a bit more disturbed than usual.  it isn’t usually overcast in liyue, and the blue lightning does nothing to quell your unease.  the streets are also empty, but lights illuminate each building.

from your window, a quick glance towards the northland bank reveals to you that it is uncharacteristically dark.  no lanterns, no lights.  you frown, troubled that the individuals you were so alert to monitoring, had a lifeless stronghold.  not typical of them at all. 

so, you decide while your long-time enemies are plotting (or whatever they’re doing that prompts them to close an entire bank for), now might be the best time to potentially make a run for it, light coin bag be damned.

hastily, you rid your apartment of personal belongings by unceremoniously shoving them into your bag.  if it’s one thing you were grateful for in this world, it’s archon magic.  you don’t fuss over the science behind it, but whatever made your bag feel like a bottomless pit was an actual life-saver.  packing is extremely efficient with it, and in less than fifteen minutes, you’re ready to go.

all that’s left is to write a thank-you note to the liyuen couple who let you stay while their son was out exorcising.  at the time, they assured you that you would be no trouble for you to take up a guest room, but nonetheless you tried to pay them with whatever you had left over after commissions.

you grab a writing utensil, still feeling a bit rude to leave on such short notice, and swear to yourself that you’ll visit in the future.  for good measure (after sullenly looking into your coin bag), you leave an acceptable(-ish) amount of mora on your former bed.

all right.  now, time to leave, with your foot out the door and wind scratching at your face, as if the odd overhead weather wasn’t already an omen.

you’re barely past liyue harbor, headed towards the luhua pools, when a comet shoots above you past mount tianheng.  no, not a comet, you realize as it dips from the sky, headed for landfall around a kilometer away.  a comet of water?

if a dead northland bank wasn’t the nail in the coffin, this surely is.  you’ve been around enough in the fatui to know that whatever fell from the sky has to be the work of a vision user, or some more powerful being.  turning towards where you estimate to be the crash site, you weigh your options.  you’re already outside of the city, and the fatui are probably preoccupied.  you can manage a detour for now and inspect the hydro-apparition.  regardless, you deem that the farther away you are from the water you are, the safer you might be from what’s about to happen – you look back towards liyue harbor, and nearly shudder at the rising tide and choppy waves. 

after about fifteen minutes of walking in the rain, you find yourself between the slope of the dunyu ruins and mount tianheng.  it’s vacant, save for the weathered ruins, and a sizable crater meters wide.  cautiously, you approach the edge, summoning your sword with one hand and conjuring your vision in the other.  you’re not going to let curiosity kill the cat, especially not if this turns out to be a prank by the archons.

in the center of the mess is, well, another mess.  you blink a few times, wary, as you discern that an individual lies in the rubble.  they’re actually conscious, you soon find out, as they righten themselves from the fetal position into a kneel, supporting their body weight with their arms.  their body is covered head-to-foot in dark, purple armor, and a red mask with a broken, center orb gleams faintly in the night.

it is only when you the individual looks up at you, straight at your head, do you realize that you should not be here this was a bad idea –

and then they collapse.

“shit,” you murmur to yourself, vision still pulsing in your palm, which has become increasingly sweaty.  you step back from the edge as an orb of water surrounds the armored-being, encasing him like a cocoon, before dissipating to reveal a much more vulnerable, tired man underneath.  his hair is matted to his face from the rain, yet a much smaller mask rests on his eyes; his clothes are somewhat torn (you suspect that whatever had happened, his armor absorbed most of the damage), and you can very faintly see his chest heave. 

but, ah, speaking of his clothes,

they were the colors of the fatui.

“no, no, bad idea,” you tell yourself over and over again, sword put away yet vision still bouncing in your hands.  you walk away from the crater briefly, before walking towards it again, peaking down to check on the fallen man, and then scamper back.  the whole idea was to run away, not go straight to them, as if you had managed to doom yourself after all.  

pacing back and forth, you contemplate for another minute.  he’s clearly injured, with how he’s laying on the ground and not moving, so the nice, not-so-hardened part of you wants to help him.  if he was a regular civilian, surely you’d already be down there and trying to take him back to liyue and patch him up, but he’s with the enemy.  no way someone who can transform into armor is just an underling, so he’s probably someone exceptionally powerful –

“i see you,” a voice comes from the crater, and your vision nearly explodes in your hands from your nerves.  summoning your sword quicker than you ever have in your life, you steel yourself towards the bottom of the crater.

except, he’s not holding a weapon to your face, or threatening to skewer you into a million pieces.  except, he’s not scowling at you, or demanding you assist him at once before he blows something up.

instead, he’s on his knees.  looking up at you with the desperation of a man completely robbed, crippled from something he can’t speak of yet wants to scream about.  his eyes, now free from the mask, pierce into you with a vividness that could rival the richest hues of luhua, and archons damn it do you melt. 

you melt, and realize you should run away.  you melt, all while cursing yourself, that this man might not be so kind as to spare you in the future, when he’s back at his full health.  you melt, thinking that, well, you haven’t seen him before, so maybe he doesn’t know who you are either.  you melt, even as you extinguish your vision and put away your sword, and slide to the bottom of the crater to lug his limp body back to the top, to the shelter of the ruins, and rummage through your bag for medicine.

he hasn’t said anything for the past ten minutes, and you’re thankful that there’s finally someone from the fatui who can keep their mouth shut, even if this is half-beaten to death.  “you’re not dying on me,” you insist, as if your words could will him back to full consciousness.  “not when i’m risking my life for someone like you.”

as you work on bandaging his arm, out of the corner of your eye you swear you see his mouth twitch.  is he trying to speak?  no, you want some silence for a bit longer, but pause as you notice a gash on his torso.

“this is medically consensual, okay?”  you wait two seconds to see if he objects, before unbuttoning the lower part of his coat and applying pressure on the wound.  the blood has soaked through his clothes, and just as eagerly, seeps into the cloth you’re shoving against it.  the man stirs as you continue to clean his wounds, and when his eyes open, you’re too preoccupied with your short supply of towels to notice.

when you’re aware of a gaze on you, however, you turn towards him with a hardened face.  you already know what you’re going to say.  even if he doesn’t know who you are, you’re going to make it clear that, for your own satisfaction, you won’t help him back to liyue and he’ll have to make the walk himself.

“you were out there,” you say simply, motioning towards the crater with a nod of your head.  “i’ll patch you up, but you’ll have to get further help yourself.”

the man with eyes of the deep regards you, but you busy yourself by applying gauze.  he’s propped up against a pillar, and you’re crouching at his side.  when you’re about finished, only then do you meet his eyes.

he beats you to whatever you’re about to say.  “i didn’t think,” he starts, and you’re already frowning, “that you’d come back.”

ah, referencing when you practically left him in the crater.  his words are vague enough when he says that you ‘came back’ that you aren’t too tense, and you indulge him in a bit of silence before responding.  “not like i’m used to rescuing people who fall from the sky.”

despite his injuries, the man manages a laugh.  he seems almost flustered at your statement, although you can’t understand why.  underneath his soaked bangs, his eyebrows rise, and he seems almost . . . nervous?  you can’t possibly fathom as to why, but dismiss your curiosity.  the more small talk he coerces you into, the longer you’ll spend with him.

you finish sealing the gauze, tossing the roll back into your bag before commanding it to disappear.  blood has soaked into the ground at his sides, also you’re sure that it’ll was away with time.  you’re about to stand up, satisfied with your good-samaritan duties for the day, when he stops you by locking his fingers around your wrist.

he’s in the middle of saying something, but you refuse to let him, drawing your sword and pointing it directly at his throat, his mouth agape as he releases his hold on you.  you consider each other, and when you’re certain you have the upper hand, you draw your line.

you spit the words like venom.  “do not touch me, fatui.  i’ve done what i can for you, and you won’t be getting anything else from me.”

your blade doesn’t lower from his form, and as you stand above him, you regard his hands, as if he might summon his own weapons in an instant.  if he’s smart (which you think he is yet simultaneously pray he isn’t), he’s probably plotting how to get out of your sword’s reach.  you’re not going to let him, after you’ve been so self-sacrificing, putting your life on the line for someone affiliated with the organization that suffocated the life out of you.

a tilt of the head, yet silence from his mouth.  he seems surprised that, while you allowed him to laugh mere moments earlier, you’re now pointing your weapon at him, although something in the ease of his facial features tells you that he’s not concerned in the slightest.

“i wanted to say thank you,” he breathes finally, and you look as if he’d just punched you in the gut.  “being in your position probably isn’t easy, and i’m the last one you wanted to see, but you still . . . ”

fuck, no, not this.  you don’t know if he’s a prophet, if he knows who you really are, or the ‘i’m on the run’ stamp on your forehead is that obvious, but you aren’t going to fall for the fatui’s words.  your fists clench, and you once more prepare to denounce his organization,

and you’re disarmed in an instant, sword thrown to the side and fingers restricted by his larger grasp.  archons, you couldn’t even see him move, what a deceptive bastard, feigning injury –

“stop,” he hushes, and despite your fury you register it as a plea, not a command.  the man repeats himself, before continuing,  “we won’t haunt you any more; i’ll make sure of it.”

five seconds, then ten.  you had determined that his grip was too strong to break free of, and are left in no position to move unless he releases you.  he holds your gaze without a hint of malice, even though you try your hardest to find any in his eyes.  

when he does let go of you, fingers skimming past your flesh, you run faster than you ever have before.

you run, past the ruins, past the harbor, and until you can’t see liyue behind you any more.  you run, unable to see a palace fall from the sky and crash into the ocean, and until you’re surrounded by mountains and there’s not a ginkgo tree in sight.  you run, unsure if his words are true, but certain that he knows who you are.

you won’t trust him.  as you lay on the ground, wheezing to catch the air that’s left your lungs, you once again swear to yourself that you can’t trust the words of the fatui.  

as the northland bank lights ignite themselves in welcome of its master, childe presses a hand to his bandaged torso.  a spark of your vision lingers between his fingers, and he observes it before it disappears.

he’s already hurt enough people.  he heads to the second floor, and erases your name from the fatui files. 

[volterran-wine]

Crepusculum Maleficarum || Caius & Marcus (HC)

Requested by Anonymous: "I saw your Aro witch mate HC, I was wondering can you please make a Marcus and Caius with a witch mate HC too? Thank you ❤️"

Once more witchcraft makes its way on to my blog! There has been a lot of witch requests coming in the last couple of weeks. Is it the season? Or does my little blog just attract that kind of energy? Either way, here are the two other kings reaction to discovering their mate is a witch. Aro's headcanons can be found here.

𝐀𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬, 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐰.

𝐂𝐚𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐕𝐨𝐥𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐢

Caius is a man of science and reason. In his eyes, everything could be explained in a logical manner. Even vampirism had its own regulations and laws, it could be studied and understood. So when he came across his mate, who happened to be a witch... he had to spend a lot of time simply wrapping his mind around the concept of magic. The first time he walked in on them practicing their craft he simply stood still as a statue in the door way. No words were spoken and he promptly left. Not today. His mate would be saddened but would not give up on Caius just yet.

Is not overly fond of the existence of witches in the very beginning. A whole other supernatural species is a major security risk in his mind. It was already difficult to keep humans in the dark about vampires, shapeshifters and werewolves. Now witches had been added to the mix. His mate would talk to him about how they had been persecuted already, by humans. Their words would stir something inside of him, the urge to protect them growing stronger than his anxieties.

Will want to see how well they would do in a fight, against both vampires and humans for that matter. Would personally oversee any kind of training they would have to complete. His mate would not be someone easily killed.

Caius' mate ended up being quite gifted when it came to illusions and tricks of the mind. One day they had grabbed on to his hand, leading him outside to the busy streets of Volterra. It was a sunny day, and that's when all hell broke loose. Guards not being able to stop his mate before one of their kings was outside in direct sunlight. For a couple of seconds Caius was well on his way towards a panic attack. Until he noticed... nobody was paying him any particular attention. His mate raised a compact mirror to show him his reflection, he looked as human as he had been the day he was graced with a vampires bite. Tawney eyes stared back at him in bewilderment. His now tanner complexion accentuated both the scar running across one of his eyes and his light hair. They had glamoured him completely.

"Perhaps there are good uses for your little tricks after all." "I thought you said you despised magic Caius," "... It's not the worst when it's yours." "Just mine?" "Yes, just yours."

𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐬 𝐕𝐨𝐥𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐢

Like his brothers, he is well learned and is familiar with all sorts of concepts. For sure the most philosophical of them. When his second chance at a mate appears he is a bit dumbfounded, even more so when they reveal that they are a witch of all things. It takes some time but Marcus comes around. More than willing to accept this gift the fates had bestowed upon him.

Is highly fascinated by their magic, will watch with rapt attention as they perform magic in front of him and his brothers at their first meeting. He had seen many things, but this was the first time in many years he felt truly perplexed.

Falls in love a little bit more ever time he sees them perform every day magic, the domestic nature of it making his cold heart almost flutter. Wether it be simply grabbing something from a high shelf, or aid when cooking was irrelevant. It made Marcus smile regardless.

Much like Caius he would worry for their safety. They were seemingly physically inferior to his kind. Could they protect themselves? They would insist that they were more than capable, willing to show their mate if that would ease their worries. Marcus arranges a sparring match in the underground training room with the guard he trusted the most: Demetri. His mate ended up proving themselves to be able to defend against the guard at least in a controlled environment. Marcus would scoop them up into a loving kiss, Demetri conveniently turned his back and tuned out whatever was happening behind him.

One thing that would cause worry to settle into Marcus' heart is the topic of their mortality. They had divulged that their magic was too potent for them to be turned, so where did that leave them? It would silently eat away at him until his mate noticed that dark thoughts had rooted themselves in him. After a lengthy discussion Marcus' was reassured that their lifespan was lengthened. Witches could outlive mortals by many years. Just how many he did not wish to know.

"You are enchanting η καρδιά μου" "I did not know ancient vampires were ones for cliches" "I thought it was rather poetic." "Careful, I'll put a spell on you"

𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬: Crepusculum Maleficarum: Twilight of the witches η καρδιά μου: My heart

[moralesispunk]

How they tell you they love you

This ended up quite long so I do apologise!

Including: Frankie, Din, Marcus M, Javier, Whiskey, Dave, Ezra, Oberyn and Marcus P

Frankie - 

Frankie had known that he was in love with you for a while before he said anything. He had been avoiding relationships - working in the Special Ops wasn’t exactly the easiest job for maintaining one - and that’s why when he met you he tried his hardest to stop himself from falling for you, even though he knew he was. He knew it every time he looked in your eyes, or watched you smile, or heard your voice when you answered the phone. In a few weeks time he would have to go away for a couple of months for work and he would only be able to talk to you through emails whenever he got access to the computer. You had told him that you didn’t want to finish what you had just because he was going away but he couldn’t help the fears that were taking over his whole body. What if you realised you didn’t actually like him when he was away? What if you met someone who you better deserved? What if he scared you off when he came home and had to deal with the nightmares that were always worse when he got back? 

That night, as he kissed you good night and felt you fall asleep in his arms, the fears took over once again. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to calm his breathing but the thoughts wouldn’t stop. You stirred in his arms and he opened his eyes to look down at you and suddenly all his thoughts were silenced. He watched the way your eyebrows were furrowed and he wondered what you were dreaming about. He knew in this moment he had to tell you before he got scared again. He gently shook you awake, watching as you opened your eyes, searching until you found his. “Frankie, honey, everything okay?” you asked in your sleepy voice as your propped yourself up on your elbow to look at him. “Everything’s fine. I just- I just had to tell you something,” he said, turning so he was now fully facing you, “I love you”. He watched as a sleepy smile took over your face and how you slowly leaned in to give him a kiss. You pulled away just enough to look in his eyes, “I love you, Frankie”. He couldn’t stop the smile that took over his face as he pulled you back into his arms for you both to fall asleep knowing that he didn’t have to worry anymore.

Din - 

Din showed and said he loved in other ways a long time before he actually said those three words. It started with him helping you out, sitting with you and helping while you sorted out the compartments of the Crest to make it more organised. It then moved to taking any excuse to touch you in someway, brushing his hand over your arm as he reached by you for something or letting your hands touch as you walked next to each other. Eventually, one day in the cantina he sat his hand on your leg as you eat your food before moving his arm around your shoulder when other men leered over you.

When the Kid is taken by Moff Gideon, you are part of the team that are on the rescue mission. When travelling to Moff’s cruiser, Din is planning for any outcome. While he wanted to be sure that everything would go fine - he would get the Kid and the Clan of Three would be reunited - anything could go wrong. He watched as you took apart and cleaned your blaster, trying to distract yourself from what was about to happen. He knew he loved you. He knew that was the word for what he was feeling. It wasn’t just care, it wasn’t just friendship, it was a love that filled his whole body with warmth and a feeling of security he had never felt before. You were his home. He moved to sit next to you, slowly taking your hand in his. You looked up to him, giving his hand a squeeze, “we’re going to get him back”. He looked down at you, the confidence in your eyes making him believe wholeheartedly for the first time that you would get him back with no problem. “I love you”. He said it plainly and simply and as he squeezed your hands watched the smile that broke onto your face, “I love you, Din,” whispering his name so no one else would hear.

Marcus M - 

Marcus showed you he loved you before telling you through the trust he had for you. He trusted introducing you to Missy. He trusted letting you pick her up from school that time he was running late. He trusted letting you into his heart, the first person he let inside in years. 

You and Marcus were meant to have a day to yourselves today while Missy was over at a friends but just as you arrived at their house, Marcus got a call saying Missy’s friend was sick and they would have to cancel. Marcus had told you she had been looking forward to this all week and you could see the look of disappointment in her face. You remembered the science museum you drove by on the way here and decided to offer an idea, “why don’t we all go there today?” Missy turned to her Dad, a massive smile on her face, “can we Dad?” Marcus nods and looks at you, mouthing a thank you. You all pile into his car and drive to the museum. It’s still early enough so you get in quickly and let Missy lead the way. You all stop and read the signs, interacting with everything you can. It reminds you of the science centre you used to go to when you were younger and you can’t stop smiling as you watch Missy run from exhibit to exhibit. Missy grabs your hand to take you over to something she wants to show you and when you both walk away she doesn’t let go. The two of you walk about hand in hand as Marcus walks behind, his heart swelling with how well you both get on. The last stop is the planetarium - where Marcus watches you and Missy more than he looks up at the stars surrounding you. He knows in this moment he wants to tell you how much he loves you. On the drive home, Missy falls asleep in the back of the car and he turns to you. He reaches over and takes your hand in his, watching you turn and smile at him. Before he can stop himself he whispers an “I love you” and watches as your eyes go wide before you smile, squeezing his hand, “I love you, Marcus”.

Javier

It will take a while for Javier to find the actual words. It took long enough for him to allow himself to act on his attraction for you, knowing himself that it was more than just a physical attraction. While you understood, knowing that the only other real relationship he had in his past didn’t exactly end well, you thought by now there would maybe be a little more. He would come by your apartment after it was dark and would leave before the sun came up. He would flirt with you the same way he flirted with the other women in the office (so not to let anyone find out you were together - or as together as you were). 

This morning, he woke early as usual and began to get dressed. He tried not to wake you from your sleep, knowing you still had at least another hour before you would have to get up. The sound of dropping his keys woke you, causing you to sit up. “Javier, come back to bed. Why don’t we just go in together,” you said in your sleepy voice. “You know why,” he said, sitting at the edge of the bed. He traced up your leg and side gently, before leaning down for a kiss that you turned away from. He sighed, standing and putting his jacket on before walking out. 

Knowing that you wouldn’t get back to sleep you decided to get ready and head in to work earlier than usual. When you arrived, the sun still wasn’t fully up but the place was busy with bodies moving about quickly. Messina called you into her office, asking you to go on a simple operation to where they got a tip El Leon was. You noticed Javi wasn’t in yet and so you and Murphy went together. It was anything but simple and very quickly it went south, resulting in a shot to your shoulder. It wasn’t too bad and was quickly fixed at the closest hospital. Just as the doctor was finishing up stitches, a frantic Javi bursts into the hospital. You can see him from the other side of the hall, watching as his eyes search quickly for any sign of you. Once his eyes meet yours he lets out a breath that he didn’t realise he had been holding in and quickly made his way towards you. The doctor was just walking away as Javi reached you, taking your face in his hands. You let him check you for injuries knowing he wouldn’t stop until he had, noticing the pain that flashed across his face when he seen your shoulder. He took your face back in his hands and gave you a gentle kiss, softer than any shared between you before. “I’m sorry, for everything,” he sighed, “I have to stop being so scared... I- I love you”. You placed your hands over his, “I love you, too, Javier”.

Whiskey

You and Whiskey had been getting on well, having been on more than a few dates by now. You knew you were falling for him and felt that he was feeling the same way in the way his eyes followed you, how he smiled lazily at you in the morning or how he lingered just for a moment every time he had to leave like there was something else to be said.

However, that started to change. He started to become more distant. You worried it was something that you had done wrong, or that you had looked into his actions more than was really there. In truth, it was because Whiskey was scared. The last woman he had loved had been ripped from his life and took him years to get over. He didn’t want to feel that ever again and his job made sure anyone who was close to him was at potential risk. One night, when he was having dinner at yours, you decided to ask him about it. “What? There’s nothing wrong,” he dismissed, asking you a question about work instead. “No, there is something wrong. Tell me,” you pressed. “I- I just can’t see someone else I love be hurt. I can’t let myself get close to someone like that again be taken from me,” he sighs, too caught up in his own thoughts to realise what he really said. “Someone else you what?” you whispered. His eyes widened, realising he had said the word out loud for the first time. He stood and moved round to sit next to you, taking your hands in his. “I love you,” he said, “but I don’t want anything to happen to you and that’s why I’ve been so... distant lately”. You took his face in your hands, “I love you, and nothing is going to happen to me. I’ve got the best cowboy-agent in the world as by boyfriend”.

Dave

Dave would be among the most confident in telling you about his feelings. As soon as he knew that what he was feeling for you was love he would let the words fall out of his mouth with ease.

It would be one morning as you were making breakfast, dancing about quietly thinking he was in the shower. He watches as his shirt from the night before hangs around you, looking better on you than it did on him. He smiles as you turn the radio up, singing along a little louder when one of your favourite song comes on. “Didn’t know I was getting breakfast and a show,” he interrupts. You turn around, placing your hand on your chest, “Jesus, Dave! You almost gave me a heart attack,” you scold as he chuckles, walking towards you now. “Tell me how you look better in that shirt than I do,” he hums as he wraps his arms around your waist, placing his head on your shoulder while you carry on with breakfast. You smile, turning your head to press a kiss to his lips. He knows right now how he feels and he lets the words fall out of his mouth, “I love you”. He kisses the back of your neck gently as you turn your head to meet his lips for a kiss, “and I love you, Dave”.

Oberyn

The Prince’s Garden had become you and Oberyn’s perfect place for some peace and quiet. You could just walk around the garden, holding hands in silence or quietly talking about whatever popped into your minds.

On this particular day, the sun was out and shining, making all the flowers stand a little taller. You hadn’t been talking much, enjoying the presence of one another enough for now. Every so often, he would squeeze your hand, pulling you slightly closer to steal a kiss, before continuing around the garden. You both eventually stop, sitting by the bench where you first met. You had found a poem that day that you wanted to read to him, taking it out of the book you had been carrying around. He watched you in absolute adoration, listening to every word that rolled off your tongue with such beauty and how your voice changed slightly when you smiled at the words. When you finished, you asked him what he thought. “It was beautiful. But not as beautiful as the person who read it,” he replies, making you blush. “Oberyn, you’re too kind,” you say back, reaching for his hand to squeeze gently. “I should be kind to the person I love,” he replies. Your eyes widen and as you try to find the words he turns his body to face you completely, “I love you,” he says with a smile.

Ezra - 

Ezra would have no problem telling you he loved you the minute he knew that is what he was feeling. He watches and notices how the sun changes the colour of your eyes slightly, the way the side of your eyes crinkle a little as you squint from the bright light, your hum of contentment as it warms your skin.

He feels his love for you warm his body, running through his chest and spreading everywhere else. He takes your hand in his and tells you just that, “you warm me more than the sun, hold more beauty than the moon, carry more sparkle in your eyes than the stars. I love you, little bird, and I will shout it so the sun, moon and stars and everyone else hears what I have to say”. When you tell him that you love him too he pulls you close to his chest, promising to never let you go.

Marcus P

You have been looking forward to a night in with Marcus all week. You have both been busy with work and today is the first in a while you get to relax together so planned to get some takeout and find a film to watch at his place.

When you arrive, Marcus has the menu for your favourite takeout place sitting out on the table, telling you he was having a look to see what he wanted. You smile at the thoughtfulness, knowing you probably only mentioned it was your favourite once or twice before. When the food arrives, Marcus lets you choose the film, deciding on one you told him about the other night he had never seen before. He ends up spending more time watching you than the film, noticing when you smile or try and hide your tears. At the end of the film you turn to ask him how he enjoyed it but instead he leans in, giving you the most passionate kiss, before breaking away and breathlessly telling you he loves you. 

[mcheang]

Hello. :) Lila is mistakenly identified as the person who committed a detention/suspension worthy offense. Her lies are revealed during the investigation. Marinette is the only person who believes Lila is innocent. Whether Lila is proven innocent is up to you. Redemption optional.

Where’s your evidence?

What are Lila’s current crimes?

Theft, truancy, lying, bullying

But now... blowing up the science lab?

Miss Mendeliev warned the class to be serious and pay attention to detail since they were experimenting with volatile chemicles.

She confiscated Rose’s perfume and pretty much all cell phones.

Lila even bragged about having done harder experiments. This blew up in her face quite literally. Everyone knew the explosion came from her desk.

Cameras proved it as well. It didn’t help Lila’s case that she was more focused on whispering stories than listening to Mendeliev.

Lila protested she did exactly what the instructions said. Do you think she would have wanted her looks to be ruined by an explosion? (Mostly everyone escaped unharmed but Lila’s face had minor burns and her hair was singed)

No matter. Lila will be suspended and her mother will have to pay for the damage to the lab.

Mrs Rossi was called over and told of the incident. She tried to appeal for a lighter punishment. Honestly, with the school being shut down for months, (online classes notwithstanding) is it really a good idea for Lila to miss more school?

Damocles: shut down?

Lila’s brain: oh crud

Bustier: what are you talking about? The school has never been shut down for more than a day. Ladybug and Chat Noir defeat the akuma within the hour. 2 at most.

Mrs Rossi: that’s not what Lila told me. It’s why she’s been at home for months now, with all these akumas around your school

Damocles: I do not deny Dupont is an akuma hotspot, but we have not been shut down for months!

Bustier: in fact, Lila told us the reason for her absence was because you were taking her to Achu on another diplomatic mission

Mrs Rossi turns to stare at her shrinking daughter. “I have never even been to Achu. Lila, have you been playing truant for months? Why?”

Knowing blaming Ladybug will get her nowhere, Lila claims to be afraid of being akumatized again after her Volpina incident. Or around akumas.

Mrs Rossi: that’s no reason to lie to me! I could have just tranferred you to a different school!

Bustier: out of curiosity, does Lila have tinnitus? Or even knows Jagged Stone?

Mrs Rossi: what does that have to with anything?

Bustier: Lila has been claiming numerous ailments in her efforts to help charities and from hanging out with her celebrity friends

Mrs Rossi: well, while I know Lila has mentioned being part of charity events, I can assure you she is perfectly healthy and all her friends, except her boyfriend Adrien, are not famous.

Bustier: Adrien is still single and is most assuredly not dating Lila.

Damocles: perhaps it’s her lying disease acting up. The one that makes her lie uncontrollably

Mrs Rossi: ...that’s called compulsive lying, you egghead!

Damocles: but...wouldn’t that mean she was lying about Miss Dupain-Cheng?

Bustier: I’m afraid so.

Damocles: I’m going to have to apologize to her again, aren’t I?

Both women: obviously

Needless to say Lila is expelled instead of suspended, though Mr Damocles decides to conduct a proper investigation before making it official

Lila is forced to confess in front of the whole class.

Kim: so the explosion was probably some attempt to make us feel sorry for you!

Lila: are you kidding me? If I wanted to make you feel sorry for me, I wouldn’t actually hurt myself to do it! I am telling you for the last time, I followed those lab instructions and no, I did not misread the chemical labels.

Alix: probably too busy bragging to bother checking

Marinette: i cannot believe i am saying this, but I think Lila is innocent about the lab explosion

No one misses the irony of the situation. After Lila herself framed Marinette, and the latter kept on calling her a liar, now Marinette is the only one defending Lila and insisting the latter was framed.

Alya: girl, I know you like to forgive bullies and all, but this is a bit much

Marinette: i haven’t forgiven Lila. I’m just being logical. Vain as she is, do you honestly think Lila would risk injuring her appearance? She favours fake injuries not real ones. Even if she can’t stop talking about herself, she knows when to pay attention.

Mendeliev: be that as it may, the proof is in the footage. Lila used the wrong chemicals and now the lab still smells of smoke

Marinette: maybe the labels were mixed up?

Pause. Ok, that could be true, except...

Mendeliev: impossible. It wasn’t only me who checked the lab preparations. It was double checked by lab assistants and triple checked by Caline.

Caline nodded. “It’s true. Everything had been labelled correctly. I am sorry but Lila has to take responsibility for her carelessness.”

Lila: oh for crying out loud, if I lie and said something glamorous, would you believe I am innocent then?

Lila was taken away. It would take time for her mother to find a new school that would accept such a troublesome student, but in the meantime, Lila would need to find a job. Her allowance has been cut off and the damage costs were paid out of her own funds.

Marinette talked to Tikki about this. The former still believed Lila was innocent. Tikki herself decides to give Lila the benefit of the doubt, but the evidence is hard to deny.

Marinette: we could see Lila reading the instructions and labels in the footage. I wonder what’s really going on.

That night, as Marinette slept, Tikki confronted Plagg.

Plagg: so I switched some labels. It’s not like anybody saw me.

Tikki: that was really dangerous

Plagg: please. You’re talking to the kwami of destruction. Like I don’t know how to mix chemicals. Pfft.

Tikki: but why now? After all the horrible things Lila has done, why now?

Plagg: after a couple of joint photo shoots, she complained that Adrien stinks of my cheese to his dad, and now I’m stuck with plastic-wrapped cheese sticks.

Tikki sighs. Of course.

Plagg: besides, think of the good it did. Liar girl is exposed and out of our lives. (True. Lila has decided to move on from Dupont)

Tikki: I still feel sorry for her mother having to pay for the damage you caused

Plagg: think of it as the cost for not properly raising her daughter.

Tikki: you could have caused an akuma.

Plagg: but i didn’t.

Tikki: actually why didn’t we see any butterflies? There should have been enough negative emotion for Hawkmoth to send one.

Plagg: gee, maybe because the riot across the city was angrier than a school issue? (Lately the akumas came from them)

Tikki: oh yeah.

[lizamango]

Finding You (Bucky Barnes x Reader) 3/?

 A/N: Hey everyone, sorry this took so long!! This chapter was kinda hard to write, I felt like there wasn’t much that I could add but I did my best! I wanna get to Bucky as much as you all do! 😭😩

Summary: You’ve been one of SHIELD’s top spies for years but what happens when the organisation you’ve put your trust in crumbles and Captain America gives you a mission to help him find his best friend? The last thing you expected to happen was to fall in love with your assignment and become best friends with a witch.

Taglist ~ just comment if you wanna be added

@buckylokisimp​​, @white-wolf-buckaroo​​, @austynparksandpizza, @markandlexies​

Word Count: 2098

​Masterlist

Chapter 1 ~ Chapter 2 ~

Warnings: none

Chapter Summary: You and Steve run from HYDRA

Chapter 3: TOMORROW ISN’T PROMISED TO ANYBODY

I enter a shopping mall where I buy a hoodie for myself and a jacket, glasses and a hat for Rogers using cash. I pass by JD sports and see some Supra Vaders I know the Captain will just love so I go in and grab a pair, and get a pair of Nike Dunk Sky His for myself. I leave and meet him where he waits, away from any crowds and we put on our simple yet effective disguises.

“First rule of going on the run, is don’t run. Walk,” I say, recalling my operations training.

“If I run in these shoes they’re gonna fall off.”

I smirk. “Sorry, thought you’d be bigger.”

Ignoring my innuendo, Steve huffs. “They’re ridiculous, why can’t I lace them up?”

“It’s a fashion statement.” I glance at a map as we pass by. “Apple store’s upstairs.” We ride the escalator and enter the store.

Finding an empty laptop, I get to work. “The drive has a Level 6 homing program so as soon as we boot up, SHIELD will know exactly where we are.”

“How much time will we have?” he asks, surveying the area not so subtly.

“About 9 minutes from…” I insert the drive. “now.” I enter the coding commands to unlock the intel but something inverts each one… now comes in my training from the Academy of Science and Technology. “Fury was right about that ship. Somebody’s trying to hide something.” As I look through the coding script my inputs are rewritten to counter the commands. “This drive is protected by some sort of AI.”

“Like Stark’s robot voice? Can you override it?”

I raise a brow as I type away. “The person who developed this is slightly smarter than me. Slightly. I’m gonna try running a tracer. This is a program that SHIELD developed to track hostile malware, so if we can’t read the file, maybe we can find out its origin.” The map tracks a location and pinpoints it as we are approached by a store employee.

“Can I help you guys with anything?”

I react quickly and give him my best charming smile. “Oh, no. My fiancé was just helping me with some honeymoon destinations,” I giggle, placing my hands on Rogers’ shoulders.

“Right,” he adds awkwardly. “We’re gettin’ married.”

“Congratulations! Where are you guys thinkin’ about goin’?”

I go back to the laptop and the state has been pinpointed.

“New Jersey,” the Captain reads aloud.

“Huh,” the employee lets out, surprised. “I have the exact same glasses,” he says after a pause.

“Wow, you two are practically twins,” I remark as I type away.

“Yeah, I wish!” he chuckles. “Specimen. Uh, if you guys need anything… I’ve been Aaron.”

“Thank you,” Rogers rushes out. “You said 9 minutes,” he checks his watch. “Come on.”

I shush him. “Relax… I’m working.” The screen reads Wheaton, New Jersey. “Done.” I look up at him and he has a frown on his face. “You know it?”

“I used to. Let’s go.” He pulls the hard drive out of the laptop and we walk out of the store. “Standard tac team. Two behind, two across,” he turns to face forward. “two comin’ straight at us. If they make us, I’ll engage, you hit the south escalator to the metro.”

As he speaks I roll my eyes, this guy was definitely not meant for the spy world. “Put your arm around me and laugh at something I said,” I say.

“What?” he sounds utterly confused.

“Do it.” I feel his arm rest on my shoulder and he gives the most awkward laugh I have ever heard come from a person. “See, Captain? No need to make such a scene.” We work our way to the escalator and I spot Rumlow on the escalator coming up. I turn to look up at Rogers. “Kiss me.”

“What?” he says again, flustered.

“Public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable.”

“Yes they do!” he whispers.

I put my hand to the back of his neck and push him towards me so our lips meet and I feel his hand fall on my waist. I open my eyes and pull away slowly after enough time has passed.

“You still uncomfortable?” I ask turning and walking down the escalator.

“That’s not exactly a word I would use,” he murmurs and quiets down as we get to the parking lot.

“We could get bus tickets to New Jersey, think I’ve got enough cash for the trip,” I suggest.

“Keep a look out,” he says approaching a truck as I frown but do as he says. In no time I hear the start of an engine and whirl to look at him. “Come on, we don’t have all day,” he says smugly.

I get into the passenger’s side and he starts to drive to the Garden State.

“Can’t believe Captain America can steal cars…” I say striking up a conversation.

He chuckles. “Kind of a necessary skill when you’re fighting a World War and you’re in enemy territory.”

I hum and he glances at me. “And it’s not stealing if we give it back so get your feet off the dash.”

“Bossy,” I remark but do as he says. “I like that,”

There’s a pink tint to his cheeks and his jaw clenches but he doesn’t say anything.

“So I have a question for you…” I start with a raised brow. “But you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, although no answer is an answer in itself so-“

“Get to it, L/N,” he interrupts authoritatively.

“Was that your first kiss since 1945?” I smirk.

“That bad, huh?”

“I didn’t say that!” I laugh.

“Well it kinda sounds like that’s what you’re saying.”

“I was just… wondering if you’ve had practice… since going… into the ice,” for a super secret agent, that answer lacked finesse. “It’s just, I don’t know how you did it in 1945 but guys normally move their mouths for a long kiss like that,” I shrug.

“I don’t need practice.”

“Everyone needs practice.”

“It was not my first kiss since 1945. I’m 95, not dead.”

“Oh?” I say, curiosity piqued. “Who’s been kissing Captain America then?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Someone special?”

He chuckles. “It might come as a surprise to you but it’s hard to find someone with shared life experience,” he says sarcastically.

“That’s okay, you just make stuff up.”

“What, like you?” I know he doesn’t intend for it to sound mean so I shrug it off.

“Not everyone can handle the truth, can they? I wouldn’t mind a few white lies to keep something good going… and you don’t need shared life experience, right? Not really… there’s that whole opposites attract notion, after all.”

“But it’s good to have someone who understands what you’re going through, right?”

I shrug… sometimes not knowing is better. Safer. “Maybe. But in this occupation…” I sigh. “Well I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been in love.”

“You’ve – you never had someone?” Looks like I threw him for a loop.

Shaking my head I turn to look out my window at the trees we pass by. “I don’t hate love or anything… it’s just dangerous to love someone like… us. Isn’t it? They’d either get hurt by people we go after or… ya know, if we don’t come back… it hurts them too.”

“But tomorrow isn’t promised to anybody,” he reasons. “So why deprive yourself of something as great as love on the off chance you die?”

“Because it’s easier.”

“For who?”

“Why the interest Rogers? You wanna fill that spot? Play a little house? Imagine we don’t have to save the world from domestic terrorists?”

He hums at my decision to not answer the question. “No, that’s not what I need right now.”

“And what do you need?”

“Just…” he sighs. “a friend.”

Of course. “Well, there’s a chance you might be in the wrong business, Rogers…”

“Maybe we could start with not calling each other our last names?” he offers.

I smile. “Maybe.”

We arrive at the location the tracer indicated as the sun is setting.

Camp Lehigh is on a sign but it seems to be long abandoned.

“The file came from these coordinates,” I say as I pick the lock on the chained fence.

“So did I…” Steve says looking up at the sign in nostalgia. “This camp is where I was trained.”

“Change much?”

“A little…”

I wonder around, scanning the area for any thing to indicate a power source. “This is a dead end. Zero heat signatures, zero waves. Not even radio. Whoever created the file must have used a router to throw people off.” I tuck the scanner in my back pocket and the Captain looks up at me then shifts his gaze to behind me, frowning. “What is it?”

He starts walking and I follow. “Army regulations forbid storing munitions within 500 yards of the barracks. This building’s in the wrong place.” He breaks the lock with his shield and we enter as it leads us underground.

I turn on the lights and it reveals the insignia painted on the wall. “This was SHIELD. The early days, after it evolved from the Strategic Scientific Reserve,” I say, recognizing the outdated logo.

We wander around, finding a wall of three portraits. “The three founders.” He looks at me. “What? The history is one of the things they teach at the academies. Colonel Philips, Howard Stark and Margaret Carter.”

“There are academies?”

“Three. Very tough admission.”

Rogers spots something and looks closer. “If you’re already working in a secret office…” he pushes the shelves apart. “Why do you need to hide the elevator?”

Using my SHIELD issued code breaking device I type in the code for the elevator which takes us down even further to a room of computers, monitors and servers.

“This can’t be right… this equipment is ancient how could it be used to make the files?”

There was one place that looked like it came from this century and I decide to take a risk and plug in the usb drive. The servers whir and more lights come on.

“Initiate system?” a computerized voice says.

Yes, I type. “Creepy.” As we wait for the system to boot up I smirk. “Shall we play a game?” I laugh at myself. “It’s from a movie that was really pop-“

“I know,” he interrupts. “I saw it.”

A camera moves to Rogers and a voice recites his name and year of birth. Then it turns to me and does the same.

“Is this the AI that was blocking my commands back at the mall?” I say looking closer.

“I may not be the man I was back when the Captain took me in 1945 but I am.” A photo appears on one of the other screens.

“You know this… thing?”

“Arnim Zola was a German Scientist who worked for the Red Skull.”

“He’s been dead for years,” I add, remember something of the history lessons.

“First correction, I am Swiss. Second, look around you. I have never been more alive.” The robot voice recounts his end of life story and how he uploaded his consciousness into databanks.

“How did you get here?”

“By invitation.”

“It was Operation Paperclip after World War II. SHIELD recruited German scientists with strategic value. Always thought they shoulda just locked them all up… we probably wouldn’t be in this mess if they did.”

“HYDRA would have died with the Red Skull.”

“Cut off one head… two more shall take its place,” I recite their mantra aloud.

“When history did not cooperate… history was changed.” A flurry of photos of the Winter Soldier in the back ground of significant political events appear on the screens.

“That’s impossible, SHIELD would have stopped you,” I say, moving closer.

“Accidents would happen.” News of Howard and Maria Stark’s car accident shows up next.

Rogers punches the screen as Zola provokes him.

Does that mean…? I don’t finish the thought as the mad scientist explains what the drive contains.

“What kind of algorithm? What does it do?” I ask.

The doors begin to close as Steve is too late to throw his shield. A beeping comes from my communicator, detecting something. “Steve, we got a bogey. Short range ballistic 30 seconds tops.”

“Who fired it?”

“SHIELD.” I pull out the drive and Steve pulls a grate from the floor. I jump in and he follows, putting the shield up above us as rubble rains down on us. He strains against the weight of it all and the debris settles.

💖💖

Thank you for reading!

I'll be gone until Monday again but I'll try to write on my phone!! I have literally never been so busy throughout this summer until now!

Chapter 4

[blazingparker]

I Could Be Your Love, But You Treat Me Like A Scandal

Chapter Two is now up!

read it on ao3!

Running for Senate wasn’t something Tony had ever seen himself doing. Everyone knew he had a brain hardwired for science, mathematics, and engineering - not for hand-shaking, baby-kissing, and politicking.

But desperate times called for desperate measures.

The board of investors for Stark Industries were nervous about him taking over. With his behavior as a bit of a playboy, they saw him as flighty. Irresponsible. A risk. The promise to deny him the position of CEO was fresh in Tony’s mind.

It wasn’t that he felt particularly strongly about the position. On the contrary, he felt like he could do much better work in the labs in a grease-stained shirt and with dirty hands than he could in an office parallel with the clouds, in a perfectly-tailored suit and making executive decisions.

What Tony did feel strongly about was the good he could do within that position.

Instead of being known for making the missiles that missed suicide bombers and hit civilian areas, they could be known for developing the first arc reactor. Instead of negotiating multi-billion dollar projects that brought about death and destruction, they could work on bringing sustainable energy to millions of people. Stark Industries had so much potential to do good, and to be a major player in bringing the world into the twenty-first century.

None of that would matter if Tony couldn’t get into a position to effect change, though.

In retrospect, there were probably ways to prove he was serious that didn’t involve running for public office, personally funding a campaign, and giving his two best friends a heart attack. Tony was desperate, though. The only people the board respected more than themselves were the politicians that kept getting contracts for SI to sign.

Tony figured if he could become one of those politicians, do some good for the company, and take a break from hiding in the lab long enough to get in the public’s good graces, he might be able to prove himself.

He hated having to do that - prove himself to a team of people older than him, that profited from his inventions and didn’t actually have to bother with doing much. That was the situation he found himself in, though, and he had to make the most of it.

“You ready?” Pepper’s voice broke Tony out of his thoughts, the man startling slightly before standing up from his chair.

“Course I am,” he said, straightening out his suit. He’d picked a gray suit with a simple purple tie and white pocket square, forgoing his usual pair of sunglasses. He wanted to appear open and honest, something that wouldn’t be achieved if the voters couldn’t look into his eyes.

Tony had done his research. He knew what to do.

“Okay, well there’s a whole room full of press out there waiting for some big announcement, and I’m sure as hell not going to be the one to make it,” Pepper prodded gently. “Are you having second thoughts? We can call it all off, play it off like some product isn’t going quite right.”

“No,” Tony said, looking at her and finally away from the suit he’d been almost obsessively running his hands over. As though smoothing out those fabric wrinkles would fix the ones threatening to rip apart his life. “No, we’re not calling it off. Let’s do this.”

Taking a deep breath, he strode out of the office he’d commandeered from some poor, frightened executive, and down to the room Pepper pointed out. The second he entered, the flashes of multiple cameras nearly blinded him and the small murmurs among the crowd died down to nothing. Tony stood at the podium, smiling out at the crowd gathered.

“Alright, you all know who I am so I’m going to skip the pleasantries and get straight down to business,” Tony said, addressing the room confidently. He tried to reach the right balance of authoritative but approachable, confident yet congenial. A few laughs sounded around the room, reporters shaking their heads fondly. Tony might spend most of his time in a lab, but his attitude was well-known. They hadn’t really expected anything less from him.

“There’s been a lot of speculation around when I’ll be taking over as CEO of Stark Industries,” he said, glancing down at the podium as though there were notes there for him to reference. There were none. He was Tony Stark - he didn’t stick to the cards. “As of now, those plans have been suspended indefinitely.”

There were a few shocked gasps and mumbles to colleagues, more flashing of cameras. He wasn’t surprised - the news was likely coming as a massive shock to most of these people.

“Mr. Stark-” A journalist rose, raising her hand.

“Ah, I’ve got more to get through here. So if you can wait, I promise you’ll be the first person I call on, okay?” Tony shot her a charming smile, the woman blushing fiercely before nodding and sinking back down into her seat.

“Great. What was I saying?” Tony paused for a second to make the funny line believable, like he really had forgotten what he was about to say next before getting interrupted. It made him look funny, casual, like one of the millions of people whose votes he’d have to get. “Right. Suspended indefinitely. And we’re not talking about my high school career.” There were a few chuckles, but the joke fell flat for others. Tony had been a genius child and hadn’t had the chance to get in trouble, a fact some journalists in the room seemed keenly aware of as he tried to appear relatable.

“Anyway, the point is,” Tony paused again, for dramatic effect this time. “I’m officially announcing my candidacy for the United States Senate.”

It was like he had announced the dissolution of Stark Industries, or maybe a plan to take over the government entirely. The room exploded, journalists jumping to their feet and shouting questions. The sound of camera shutters almost drowned them out, the frequency of the flashes in Tony’s face rapidly increasing.

“I understand you all have a lot of questions,” he practically yelled into the microphone, trying to regain control of the room. The frenzy died down slightly, but everyone in the room remained on their feet. “I know it’s unexpected, and I know it’s a lot to process.” Understanding but not condescending, Tony thought to himself. “I’m happy to answer questions, but let’s go one at a time. I might have graduated MIT at 20 but I can’t hear every question you’re asking at once.” More laughter, and thankfully the press gathered stayed calm and didn’t start screaming at him again. “Alright, let’s begin with the lovely woman who tried to speak earlier.”

The same woman rose, straightening her skirt and tossing her hair over one shoulder as a Stark Industries employee ran over with a microphone. With such a large room and so many people shuffling and whispering, not to mention the camera noise, Tony had wanted to be sure everyone was easily heard.

“Thank you, Mr. Stark,” the woman began once the microphone was held firmly in hand. “Penelope Fitzgerald, ABC News.” She took a deep breath, seemingly to compose herself. “It’s September 24th. The deadline to file for a Senate run in New York was back in April. Are you saying you’re running as a write-in candidate?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” Tony said with a nod. “I know I missed the deadline to file and appear on the ballot, by a lot.” Penelope’s amused smile was encouraging. “But I also think I could do some real good for the people of New York, and I wasn’t going to wait years for the chance. Especially when, if I were to take over as CEO of Stark Industries, it would make things a lot more difficult down the line if I wanted to run.”

Tony pointed to another reporter, an older man who eyed him with what looked like a mix of admiration and trepidation. “Yes, what’s your question?”

“Good afternoon, Mr. Stark. I’m Glenn Young, with NBC News. To clarify, are there no current plans to make you CEO?”

“As a result of my running, those have been suspended. Had I decided to run in a later year, I would have faced a lot more difficulty. Thanks for the chance to clarify, Glenn.” Tony nodded respectfully in the man’s direction.

“Another quick question then,” Glenn continued, not quite phrasing it as a question but clearly hesitating to give Tony a chance to shut it down.

Tony had to hand it to himself - he had a way of charming people, disarming them and making them forget why they were there. It was literally this guy’s job to ask questions, and it seemed like he was asking permission to do so.

“Sure, Glenn. Go ahead,” Tony said, waving a hand in a gesture inviting the man to continue.

“Why are you running? You mentioned making a difference for voters, but there’s got to be more to it, right?”

“Absolutely,” Tony said immediately. He didn’t want to look like he had no idea why he was running - a haphazard, directionless candidate meant the campaign would come crashing to the ground before it even took off. Looking directly into the cameras, he straightened a bit more and addressed the room confidently. “New York is an incredible state, one I’ve been proud to call home all my life. We’re home to the greatest city in the world. We lead the country, and I’d go so far as to say the world, by our example. Our incredible citizens deserve nothing better than stellar representation in Congress, and I think I’m the best man for the job. We’ll see what the voters think in the end, but I’m committed to proving to them I’m worthy of their trust, their confidence, and their vote.”

There was a small smattering of applause. From a room full of people who were supposed to remain impartial, Tony considered that a win.

The press conference continued like that, with reporters who were known hard-hitters throwing him soft, easy questions that he knocked out of the park with ease.

A question about his campaign platform - what were the issues he cared about most?

“I’m so glad you asked, because I’m so passionate about my platform. I care deeply about making sure we have the best funding for research labs across the country. American scientists are doing ground-breaking work, from artificial intelligence to cancer research. If I can’t be in the lab alongside every single one of them, I feel the least I can do is make sure they have the funding they need to succeed.”

A follow-up question. Why not just donate privately?

“I would answer your question with a question: why make these labs dependent on benevolent private citizens? Our government should be proud to make investments in the future, in the betterment of life for all Americans. That kind of work shouldn’t rely on me, or anyone for that matter.”

One woman started to ask which political party he was going to run under, and Tony held up a hand in the middle of her question.

“I’m gonna stop you right there. I’m not really into the whole, two-parties-fighting-each-other-all-the-time-but-claim-to-work-together-for-the-spirit-of-bipartisanship-or-whatever thing.” Tony squinted, tilting his head to the side slightly and allowing one side of his mouth to quirk up in a facial expression conveying his distaste for the matter. “I’m running as an Independent. If you’ve got another question, I’ll be happy to answer. I promise I won’t interrupt this time.” An easygoing smile and a wink, and the woman was practically melting under the attention.

This was going well. Almost too well. A glance over at Pepper told Tony that even she was impressed. He knew he sounded like a natural, had studied old press conferences and speeches of successful candidates, the intonations and certain phrases drilled into his mind.

The control, the careful ease Tony had cast over the room shattered when he gestured for a younger man to ask a question. All fluffy brown hair and wide doe eyes, he looked like he belonged in a palace, being fed the finest food from around the world and having his every need or want attended to. He looked like he was just out of college, barely more than an intern and certainly not experienced enough to be holding his own at a Stark Industries press conference. Especially not one of such magnitude. Tony was smitten at first sight, something he hoped to whoever might be up there that it didn’t show for the cameras. He didn’t need his image as America’s most eligible bachelor being destroyed before they’d even had a chance to let it help his campaign.

“Peter Parker, New York Times,” the reporter said when he took the microphone. His voice was like music to Tony’s ears, sweet and lilting slightly. He didn’t stammer, flush, or trip over his words like the other reporters. Despite being visibly much younger than the rest, he exuded a sort of easy self-confidence that had Tony dying to get to know him better.

“Hi Peter, how are you?” Tony asked, smiling at the man and tilting his head to the side slightly. He could hear Pepper’s frustrated muttering about was he seriously flirting right now, but he ignored it.

Peter, for his part, just gave Tony a little half-smile. “I’m doing alright. I’d like to get to my question though.”

“Go ahead. Ask all the questions you like,” Tony said. “I’m an open book.”

“Great,” Peter said, smile growing slightly before it dropped from his face. “Mr. Stark, what would you say to constituents who are concerned about someone with direct ties to one of the world’s largest weapons manufacturers sitting in our nation’s government?”

His voice, previously sweet and gentle, was commanding and strong in the same way Tony’s had been when gaining control over the room earlier. His wide Bambi eyes, disarming and cute, were gone. The reporter was squinting at him slightly, like if he stared hard enough he’d see right through the careful armor Tony had built around himself and straight to his truth.

Tony had a feeling he’d be successful if that’s really what he wanted.

He couldn’t dwell on that now, though. He had a question - and one he had no idea how to answer. Everyone had loved him so far, giving him those easy questions. He hadn’t expected Peter to be any different. So, in classic Tony Stark fashion, he deflected and flirted.

“I’d tell them not to send such a pretty reporter next time so that I can actually focus on the question. Do you like Italian? I know a great place a couple blocks up.”

Wrong thing to say, Tony thought to himself as he watched Peter raise an eyebrow and heard him let out a derisive scoff. He raised the microphone to his mouth again.

“Unlike most things in your life, I’d imagine, you can’t buy me. So if you don’t mind, Mr. Stark, would you answer the damn question?”

Ouch.

That stung, but even in his shocked stupor Tony knew he kind of deserved it. He’d blatantly hit on a guy just trying to do his job. That was grade-A asshole behavior. He could practically hear the lecture from Pepper already.

Speaking of Pepper, she was striding up to the podium, gently shouldering Tony out of the way.

“That’s going to conclude things for today, everyone. We’ll share updates with you, as well as a campaign schedule shortly.”

Peter Parker let out a laugh as Pepper tried to nudge Tony out of the room, glancing around as if to confirm everyone else saw what he just had. “Seriously? Alright.” He shook his head, bending down to grab his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. Tony just caught the words “easiest assignment ever” being muttered under his breath as the journalist swept out of the room, all eyes on him. Tony’s eyes were not on his ass, thanks.

“Who was that?” He asked Pepper as they exited.

“He’s an investigative journalist for the Times. He won a Pulitzer last year,” Pepper debriefed him while they headed for the penthouse. "Parker's intense, and damn good at his job. Everyone in the business knows it. We'll prep you so that doesn't happen again. I can take him off the list if you want."

"No, don't." Tony smirked a little, glancing back towards the room like Peter might still be there. "I like him. In fact, let's give him a one-on-one interview."

"I'm not setting up an opportunity for you to flirt." Pepper sighed as Tony fixed her with a look, somehow simultaneously demanding and pleading. "Your funeral," she relented with a shrug. "Or rather, your failed Senate campaign." She strode off in the direction of the elevator, Tony taking out his phone and pulling up a profile on the young Pulitzer winner. The soft, easygoing smile that Peter wore in the attached photo was misleading, making him look like an innocent boy rather than a clever journalist who knew how to get a story. Tony knew better now.

If Tony had finally met his match, he was confident it was in one Peter Parker.

[popatochisssp]

This one’s a long one, sorry for all the backstory!

Potential tw for those who need it: body horror, loss of function, referenced violence and death

Horrorswap

A Fallen Human’s rampage has left the Underground in shambles. The monarchs and all of the collected souls are gone, many monsters are dust, the Royal Scientist has vanished, and the food supply is running out.

Alphys, the Captain of the Royal Guard, ascends to the throne. In spite of her grief over loved ones lost, she takes her new mantle with grim stoicism and makes a plan for the hope and safety of all monsterkind. They only need one more human to fall and then... she’ll take their soul and absorb it to cross the Barrier, the plan Queen Toriel had wanted to follow all along, but had been too afraid to; afraid of leaving her people without a leader in case she never came back.

Being left without a leader again is no longer the worst potential outcome for monsterkind and Alphys is willing to take the risk.

The waiting for that one last catalyst-human is...hard. On everybody, but especially the new Queen, thrust under so much responsibility with such high stakes, after so much loss.

Sans, one of the only best friends she has left, does his best to talk to her and to get her to open up instead of internalizing her feelings, but she’s in no way ready to talk and when he keeps pushing...

Well.

Even a little angry shove with Intent can do damage to a monster. Only half an HP in this case, but when the monster only has 1 HP to begin with, it’s still nothing to sneeze at.

Alphys is horrified, no matter that Sans is ready and willing to brush it off--his fault for pushing, he understands it was an accident, he’s usually a much quicker dodge--and however brief, the Incident just makes her shut down even more.

It also sets the stage for Sans to return home with half his HP gone to horrify his brother in equal measure.

Papyrus hadn’t liked the talk of killing humans when Toriel was alive Queen, but now it’s worse and everything else is getting worse by the day, sometimes by the hour. The Fallen Human betrayed them, Undyne is just gone, everyone is starting to go hungry, and now his brother’s at risk too?

Papyrus is scared and he’s not used to the feeling. He never thought about Sans’ 1HP before; he never had to. Sans was always just his tough and energetic big brother, and in their peaceful world it  had never even occurred to him that something could... happen.

He can’t lose Sans too... Sans, expectedly, gives Papyrus the same ‘IT’S FINE’ speech he gave Alphys, to similarly dubious effect, but his pep talks just aren’t in top form these days--he’s got a lot on his mind too. In this plan of the Queen’s, for the Next Human, he’ll be the one with the responsibility of escorting them straight to the Capital to meet her axe. His sentry station is the first out of the Ruins, no one in the Underground can travel quicker than he can...and he was the Judge who let the Fallen Human pass, he didn’t stop them when he could have, it’s only right that this responsibility now should fall on him no matter how guilty the thought of leading a probably innocent human to their death makes him feel. Eventually, the Next Human falls. Sans does his duty and escorts them to the Capital, promising them a way out… And in the split second before Alphys pulls them into their final Encounter, after they realize the friendly skeleton has betrayed them, they swing on him.

Sans dodges it, just as he promised Alphys he could, and as he promised Papyrus he would...

But it’s close, and it digs the thorn of doubt just a little bit deeper. Alphys kills the human and absorbs their soul, subduing it beneath her will to save what’s left of her people. She crosses through the Barrier to retrieve more souls, promising to return in a few weeks, a month at most. If she’s not back by then...

.........

In the meantime…Sans stews.

He’s in charge while Alphys is gone. Another human could fall. They could fall at any time and it would be on him to...well he wouldn’t want to kill them but he’d surely have to contain them somehow, so they didn’t wreak the same kind of destruction that the Fallen Human did… And now, with everyone’s doubts in his head, layered on top of his own...

What if he can’t?

What if he needs...help?

Sans used to be a scientist, back in the day. He knows where the Royal Labs kept their DT, extracted but never used--deemed too dangerous to experiment with, even on monsters who were already Fallen Down.

It’s unfortunate that Undyne of Underswap never ran the DT experiments, because if she had, Sans might’ve used an even lower dose of the raw Determination he injected himself with in his anxiety-driven attempt to become stronger.

And Sans does get stronger. His HP increases significantly above the single-digit it’s been his whole life... but it’s... not without its drawbacks.

He doesn’t go home for several long days until he can get it all under control, and by then, Papyrus is suspicious, all too aware that Sans seems different somehow, more...muted and serious, intentionally calm... He doesn’t understand it, and he definitely doesn’t like it, but figures it’s stress getting to him or something… They’re all stressed these days, food growing scarcer and scarcer as they wait for the Queen to come back or not.

Papyrus doesn’t really understand what’s happened until another human falls, before Alphys has returned.

Sans sees the human too, and he’s frozen with indecision of what to do. He’s stuck between his pacifist code and the need to at least act, for the good of all monsterkind...! And right there, right in front of Papyrus, Sans starts to melt.

Papyrus, naturally, freaks out, launching himself into his first panic attack in literal years--and why wouldn’t he? This is obviously his brother dying, the last person he had to hold onto in all of this and Sans is dying, in a horrible, awful, messy way that he didn’t even know monsters could die, and…

Papyrus isn’t proud of it, but he runs away.

Beaten down by weeks and weeks of hunger, of worrying about his brother, of grieving for Undyne, of thinking about all the undeserving and probably innocent humans that were being hunted down and killed up on the Surface just to get them out, his body and soul are at their limit.

Papyrus Falls Down. By the time Sans, not as dead as previously suspected, finds his brother, Papyrus is already unconscious, his condition looking bad—already starting to disintegrate to dust—and there’s only one option that remains.

As much as Sans fears being wrong again; condemning his brother to his own semi-solid existence…

It’s Papyrus.

And he’d rather Papyrus be alive than not, so he gives Papyrus a dose of DT, too.

This time, it works.

Papyrus stops dusting and only remains comatose for another day before coming to and having a horrendously upsetting heart-to-heart with Sans, just a little too late to do either of them any good.

The hapless human who triggered the whole scene wanders straight through the Underground, all the way to the Barrier without ever encountering another monster—the survivors of the last human they remember too weak and afraid to even think of confronting the new one.

They arrive just in time to see Alphys’ only mildly overdue return through the now shattered Barrier…and quite naturally, panic and flee up to the Surface, never to be seen again.

Monsters are free.

Alphys turns herself in for the humans she killed as a gesture of goodwill and ensures that the rest of monsterkind can live peacefully amongst humans once and for all.

And everyone else just has to learn how to keep going with the scars of the experience.

Horrorswap Sans (Merc)

The DT injection destabilized his form, tied directly to his emotional state: relatively pleasant or middling emotions can make him drip a bit, while strong or negative ones can reduce him to a puddle making disturbing attempts to form limbs. He can still maintain structural stability, but only by staying in tight control of his emotions as much as possible

He’s researching ways to properly blend the DT into his magic to stop having to worry about melting at inconvenient moments, or at least to give himself control over when and how he liquidizes. It’s…a slow-going process…

Absolutely blames himself for his brother’s near-death experience and partial dusting (and the consequences therein), and for what he did to himself. If he’d just waited a few more days, if he hadn’t gotten so caught up in fears about the future and self-doubt, then… Well. It was senseless and there’s no changing it now, that’s what kills him the most

There’s a rift between him and his brother now and it’s jarring from how close they used to be. He doesn’t like it that he can’t get Papyrus to talk to him anymore, or spend time with him just…hanging out… but he figures it’s probably no less than what he deserves, for his own stupid hubris…

He gets into yoga at some point so he can still train his body in a lower stress way, and runs a small home cake-decorating business out of his kitchen, and between that and a deep, abiding love of all the science-fiction media there is on the Surface to engage with, he’s actually mostly hopeful about the future

Horrorswap Papyrus (Ell)

Not unscarred by his brush with Falling, low-energy and missing his legs above the knee, both turned to dust before he could properly stabilize. Wheelchair-bound and not too happy about it, but nowhere near ready to even have a discussion about prosthetics just yet

Definitely struggling with the loss, and the rest of the trauma of everything else that happened Underground, and doing himself a pretty huge disservice by figuring he should just ‘get over it.’ Grappling with a lot of bitterness and frustration over it all and trying to either blow it off or ignore it

Absolutely blames himself for his brother’s instability and the loss of his own legs—if he hadn’t psyched Sans out, if he hadn’t immediately freaked out and jumped to conclusions like an idiot when he saw… Well. It was senseless and there’s no changing it now, that’s what kills him the most

He hates the rift between him and his brother now too, they used to talk openly about whatever, they could just be brothers... but then The Human and the secrets and the lies… He wants to fix it all somehow but it’s so raw and he just doesn’t know what to say—he can’t read his brothers face like he used to anymore, and half the time it feels like he’s living with a stone-faced stranger…

He’s teaching himself some programming languages in his spare time around the house, thinking he might try to freelance someday. Still into writing and fiction, but his tastes have taken a turn for the darker fare, and horror/ghost stories are becoming a great outlet for him—he spends a lot of time with creepypastas from reddit playing in the background while he tries to figure out why his stupid code won’t work

[atlantis-scribe]

Mcshep as Destiel

first thing's first: this ask is evil. cursed. this is the kind of text that even Dr. Daniel Jackson, successor of the great Evelyn 'I-don't-believe-in-cursed-texts' Carnahan-O'Connell, who canonically possesses 0.1% self-preservation instincts, will not touch with a ten-foot pole.

no fandom archivist / enthusiast worth their salt would want to wake up in the morning & immediately sustain massive psychic damage upon seeing a notification like this:

understood? cool.

now that we have those disclaimers out of the way, dear anon, we can play ball.

let me preface my actual response by saying that my experience with Supernatural & Tumblr’s Golden Ship has been unorthodox, at best.

when spn first came out, I was a child, but a child with an indulgent father who cultivated my love for cinema & urban fantasy. we got into Supernatural wayy before Castiel was a thing. we watched it diligently as soon as the newest episode became available in my country. my dad would quiz me on the case’s salient points, and we’d talk about the monster-of-the-week & how it compares to the creatures in our own folklore. Supernatural was, to some extent, educational. heh. (yes, i was very much a minor. yes, my parents were pretty lax on the exposure to blood & gore. I grew up fine, all things considered.)

we stopped our religious following of the show around the time the Leviathan storyline was unfolding. my father & I loved Bobby, and we were also starting to notice a lack of focus in terms of plot & direction. the rest of my exposure then to SPN was courtesy of Tumblr, which I managed to compartmentalize thanks to my other hyperfixations with high fantasy & sci-fi shows.

BASICALLY, what I’m saying is that I know Supernatural like a kid knows their local urban legends. and that, plus my current hyperfixation on All Things Stargate, has been a cause of many a crossover & fusion ideas.

but there’s a reason I’ve been dragging my feet when it comes to actually making content for these plotbunnies (and why I have yet to include spn for my McShep AU series). it’s because the whole thing is bound to be chaotic.

(by the way, dearest anon, what the actual heck made you send me this cursed ask? exactly which blog posts made you go, “ah. this Kit person loves Stargate & McShep, and would absolutely know something about Heller stuff.” WHERE did i go so wrong??)

ACTUAL RESPONSE:

it’s sooo easy to have Rodney as Castiel + Sheppard as Dean. (bitchy, sanctimonious fandom favorite? self-loathing, repressed, & too-pretty-for-his-own-good green-eyed action hero? practically cardboard cut-outs)

but here’s the thing, my lovelies: Kit thinks otherwise (and yes, I just referred to myself in third person. “mentally unstable as a fox“ and all that jazz)

1. Rodney is Dean because while Sheppard’s Daddy Issues are more overt & present in-text, Rodney’s are closer to the Winchester Kind of Daddy Issues (in that there’s pressure-from-beyond-the-grave to carry on with the ‘family business’. in this hypothetical AU, it could be hunting, it could be science, take your pick, but Rodney-as-Dean has taken it upon himself to be the Good Son, and it’s 99.9% because of Dad McKay.)

“This is not what dad would've wanted.”

"Shared credit, huh? We'll do this together? Dad'll be so proud."

- 3x08, McKay & Mrs Miller

2. Rodney & Dean both have a kid sibling who wants out (who wants a normal life outside the family business, dammit.) really no need to elaborate on that. Jeannie is Sammy. I dont make the rules.

3. Rodney & Dean both have that one-track-mind drive to do what they think they do best, their only purpose for existence, to the point that they cannot see anything beyond that One Thing (science, hunting/protecting their younger sibling) because that’s how they were raised. their perceived Only Talent becomes their whole identity, and when that is taken away from them, there’s (at least according to them) virtually nothing left.

4. Sheppard is Castiel because of the gay coding. c’mon.

5. Sheppard is Castiel because grace & ATA gene can be metaphors for each other, and I think that’s pretty cool.

6. Sheppard is Castiel because they’re both Soldiers who rebelled & disobeyed shitty orders because it went against everything they are & have ever believed in. there was a fundamental disconnect between what they’d been asked to do & what makes them them, so they went up against The Man, and said, No.

7. Rodney is Dean because they refuse to believe in a higher power that governs everything they do. they tell the universe what’s what, not the other way around.

8. Rodney is also Dean because the only exception to this is Sheppard & Castiel. if the higher power (God / Ancients) had a hand in the creation of this Being, then maybe it’s good for something, after all.

9. Sheppard is Castiel because they share an inability to say no to this one person they keep having to save over and over again, even when said person’s ideas are shitty and risks everyone & everything in this plane of existence.

10. McShep as Destiel will have Rodney McKay as a stubborn & competent man who embodies everything good and bad about humanity, and whose misguided views on family & masculinity are forever changed when someone who is Definitely A Little More than Human chooses him as their favorite person ever; it’ll have John Sheppard as the Prodigal Son Extraordinaire, who damns himself & all that is holy because he just wants to save his best friend, this flawed human he’s come to treasure beyond reason, from himself.

[pixiedoodlein]

10 days until school and I’m no more decided than I was a week ago. I flip flop ten times day about what might be best. A is sick of hearing me talk about it. He doesn’t disagree with my risk assessment but he is sick of talking about it.

It caused an issue with his friend, a friend who is his best friend and is unvaccinated and works in a jail. Months ago we told friend he could only visit (this place is their boyhood dream) once he’s vaccinated. Friend typically believes in science and is very health conscious but his gf is a moron Trump lover and her family the same and that’s who he’s been spending all his time with since this all started. When I asked friend why he’s not vaccinated he said he’s young & healthy, didn’t trust the vaccines, would do it when they got full fda approval. Plenty of young healthy people are dead of this. Anyway then I asked ok so what if you give it to someone who isn’t and dies, people incarcerated in the jail he works in and don’t have the luxury of social distancing, and he was like eh whatever. So yes friend is an asshole, but his best friend for decades, friend has always been kind of an asshole but has many redeeming qualities too. So we said no visit. But then in July when there was no covid here and no covid where he lives and we were blissfully living our covid free lives we loosened up and said he could visit with two negative tests. But then covid got bad again and when asshole friend contacted A the other day to say he took time off in late Sept to visit, A said sorry, it’s fully fda approved now you have no excuses not to vaccinate, we’re worried about our unvaccinated kids, and as of now you can’t visit but hey maybe if you get vaccinated and the numbers look better we can reassess in a month and you can come. Friend was a total dick about it, didn’t understand our point of view at all, stressed A about it, who was in a bad mood about it for days afterward.

Then there’s the neighbors. I had a chat with the kids and a chat with the mom. I framed it as we love them so much and I know they’re careful but I think we should all be more careful while the numbers are so rising (aka only outdoor hangouts) and we are careful but I’ve heard terrifying stories from doctor friends about kids and babies getting very sick, and they have a baby who I don’t want us to make sick, and she said she agreed. The kids have been pretty good about making the adjustment from constant sleepovers to playing outside but M keeps asking me “the kids need to pee are they allowed to use the bathroom, the kids are hungry are they allowed to come inside even for one minute for a snack,” and I feel like the villain (I’ve been saying yes to pee, snacks I’ll bring out). Everyone’s been understanding but nobody is getting what I mean when I say only outdoor socializing. All the kids keep asking me when I’ll take them to town again for ice cream, “but it’s outside” (um yeah but the car’s not), asking their mom to ask me for sleepovers even though they know what the answer will be. The other day they were playing in our yard then it started raining and they were like “we can’t walk home in the rain”- I don’t want them to walk home in the rain, but again the car is indoors!- so I drove them home (but made M stay at our house). They’re not my kids so I can’t make them wear masks and it feels like now I am in the position of being the mean parent who’s psycho about covid, which in a way I am, but it would help me to stick to my guns and feel okay about sticking to them if the government policies matched the severity of the situation, ie mask mandates in public places (instead of stores posting polite recommendations), vaccine mandates, virtual learning options, etc.

Which brings me to school. After selling M hard on real school, then I sold her hard on home school. She already “did” 3rd grade last year (as much as me teaching her in my pajamas counts as doing), but this district has an earlier cut off than the city, so she’s in 3rd grade again here. Which is fine by me- her birthday is the same day as the very late nyc cut off (12/31) and I hated that she was the absolute youngest. I used to beg the school to hold her back and they’d say “but why she’s doing so well!” not understanding that I was thinking ahead to the teen years. But anyway, despite her haphazard pj’d professor, she seemed to learn a lot last year so homeschool this year could basically be unschool. She’d traipse around the forest identifying birds and trees with A and her brother, reading for pleasure, and I’d spend an hour here and there reviewing some worksheets with her so she’d be on track when she starts real school after she gets vaccinated. She was into the idea, until she found out she and one of the neighbor kids are in the same class. Now she absolutely wants to go to real school, AND ride the school bus. The school bus part makes me very nervous. While there is now a school mask mandate (but will it be enforced? what are their lunch procedures, what % of teachers are vaccinated, what % of the older kids in the same building as the little kids are vaccinated, did they actually really update their ventilation system?) and a bus mask rule, it’s a long rural route (15 min drive or 45 min bus) and I have no faith that bus windows will be open and all riders will be masked the whole time.

So just tell her she can go to school but has to be driven by a parent, right? Not so simple. I was offered a job at a (somewhat, commuting distance) nearby nonprofit- an easy low stress job in a bastion of liberalism with very very nice smart coworkers, excellent work life balance, a writing job that sounds made for me, like the job description is exactly what I would put together if I were putting together my dream job (except the pay, which is half what I was making at a fancy DC nonprofit, but high for this area, and our housing cost is half so it should be fine if A can get away from little guy long enough to bring in some money too). It’s mostly remote but approx one day a week in the office and some days there will be things I need to attend out in the community (not necessarily our community, they serve the whole region). It won’t always be the same day in the office and the office is an hour away- so on those days A would have no car to get her to and from school, since I’d need to leave before school starts and get home after it’s done. So I guess we need to buy a new car? Aside from this issue we really don’t need a second car now, were planning to get one eventually, but not until A’s business has enough projects to justify the cost.

Despite its many demands/challenges/ stressors, home school is sounding easier to me at this point (especially because she already did this grade), except she WANTS to go to school. Someone talk me out of putting some lipstick and a pantsuit on her and taking her to get vaccinated. I know, I know: the 5-11 dosage is 1/3 of the 12-adult dosage. The doctors I’ve spoken to are split on this hypothetical kamikaze mission. The doctors I’ve spoken to are also split on me and A going to a pharmacy now for booster. It’s been almost 6 months since our 2nd dose. We do not have compromised immune systems. This county has way more doses than demand and I would feel better sending M to school (bus or not) if we had our boosters and she had a first dose- moral and scientific quandaries aside- because there is A LOT of covid here now, a lot of covid everywhere now, and I feel like we are returning to regular life at the time when we should be most hunkered down.

Which brings me to the data. Per capita there are as many known cases here as in nyc, except nyc has a 50% higher vax rate, much more mask usage, better medical system. People are not getting enough tests here, there is a higher positivity rate, and so I think the actual number of cases is much higher than the reported number of cases. It seems like, friends here and in the city and in the suburbs (I just broke up with a friend in the suburbs because she professes to be a good democrat but is hosting a bonafide super spreader event and vacationing in a place with 39% positivity and a collapsed health care system), are thinking of covid as something you catch from strangers- they wear masks in stores- but aren’t careful at all around close friends and family (so many extended family gatherings, so many, cousins and grandparents and half-siblings and aunts and uncles and whoever), when this is a disease that kills via the people you love most, the ones who’d never intentionally hurt you.