#who knows how to convey this in a way that isn't annoying and is relatable

[mermaidsirennikita]

sometimes it drives me literally insane to see romance requests that are like

--I want a romance wherein it's basically the happy epilogue throughout the book

--I want a romance that has great communication and they never withhold anything from each other ever

--no "miscommunication trope"

The last thing is just a general gripe about how so many of the things people say are tropes are not tropes, and it's pedantic and snobby but like. Miscommunication is so broad. It's not a trope. People are miscommunicating. WHAT are they miscommunicating about? Is one of them keeping a secret identity from their partner? Because a secret identity romance iS a trope. Is one of them withholding their feelings out of fear of rejection?

Because people DO miscommunicate. Often writers do write it clumsily. If people miscommunicate for no reason, sure, whatever. But if they miscommunicate BECAUSE of a REASON--like, often it's not even miscommunication lol. It's the hero keeping his dire supernatural secret from his wife because she'll die if she finds out (honestly, valid to me, but whatever). It's the heroine finding it difficult to trust the hero with her heart because her dad left when she was young (maybe cliche in theory, but actually a very real thing that happens).

If all you want is plotless nothing wherein everyone is happy and nobody makes mistakes, I personally have a hard time thinking of it as a book, because there is no story. It's just vibes. And essentially EVERY time, people have to mess up and make mistakes in order for there to be a plot.

I just don't understand the point.

[pleucas]

i'm still half asleep as i write this. sorry if unorganized. i wake this morning but a wee little soul accused of not dismantling the facade of the character, of demonizing mental illness and most horrendously, watching the anime first. oh Cheese is also here sitting in the corner. real ominously, kinda scaring me.

so, firstly, i actually hate watching anime and like all animated media where there's a book. they speak too slow and less information is conveyed. if i can read something faster than i can watch the show, im going to read it. ive actually only watched the first couple episodes of BSD and the Dark Era ones. ive read the manga like 3 times and most of the light novels relating to chuuya and dazai. now that that the clear most important point is out of the way, which is that my media illiteracy is through MY OWN CHOICE !! onto the others. dazai is a well written character. he's entertaining to think about. a character being well written doesn't make them likeable though? he was written to be annoying, he gets on near everyone's nerves in the show. i can be annoyed with him AND ALSO understand that despite that he is a multi layered character who isn't necessarily all good or bad. sorry if i came off like that wasn't the case in my other asks. i get his facade, i understand why he does it, ive been there to when i was reallllly deep in depression. and with that said, it still frustrates me. this is gonna be a shocker, a real hard pill to swallow, some other expression of surprise, living life in a state where you're always passively lying to people is bad for you relationships!! i feel the burden to see through the facade is often placed on the people around him, but i think setting the standard that people should just know without you telling them can be pretty unhealthy.

i think in these kinda ships where one of the character's has basically erected a wall between themselves in the war, the compelling part is seeing the bricks, day by day, be taken apart. and, ultimately, it is on the person who put up the wall to do that in the end. they can have help, of course. most need a remarkable amount of assurance for it, but still it falls on the shoulders of the person who put it up.

im not going to compare mental illness or toxicity, but i don't think Chuuya even wants to assure him. furthermore, given their relationship, i think that's a respectable decision. im not going to bash him for disliking someone who admits to doing everything in his power to annoy him even at his lowest moments (STORMBRINGER DAZZAI OH HOW I HATE YOU. TANGENT TIME: there's a difference between manipulating a situation to be advantageous and it happening to turn out good for the people involved and helping. intentions matter!! dazai wanted the outcome best for HIMSELF. he does this a lot, drags other people into it. all the time. beast dazai? even worse. hate that guy. people read beast as a dazai angst book?? what??? clearly it was sskk fodder.) Chuuya is far less intelligent than dazai, alright. not a negative, but when it comes to holding him accountable my standard isn't as high. he clearly cares for others and has a strong moral backbone, even if id disagree with him on it, unlike SOMEONE i know. he values personhood generally. mentally ill people still have free will. i don't hate dazai for being mentally ill, i hate him for the choices he makes. i understand they stem from the illness, everything exists in context or whatnot, but that doesn't excuse it. on the point about him changing for the better, i don't actually think he has. not in a significant way. once more, intentions matter. he's 'being good' because Oda told him to be, but to this day, he still manipulates the people around him - and this is an active choice. one example: everything he makes Akutagawa do. in the relationship, he's very clearly still taking advantage of the emotional abuse he put him through. it helps the ADA, but it also shows he falls into the same patterns he always has. he can change, of course, and id like to see him change, but in my eyes it hasn't really happened yet. when it does? maybe ill like skk!! ive got hope for this arc.

on a much lighter note, im pretty sure i know who Cheese is. i showed this page to a friend a couple days ago and they said something about sending an ask in. sorry about them, they talk too much. me? im very concise. This has obviously been Rimu

RIMU OMG WELCOME BACK I'VE MISSED YOUUUUU

to preface: yeah totally fine to hate a character and acknowledge their complexity. very valid perspective, don't let anyone tell you otherwise

this is getting intense (& interesting!) and i've received a few more additions to this Saga in my inbox so i supposed i'd get a little into it as well. dz's character and skk has always been interesting to me so m gonna start procuring theses... sorry

firstly, i apologize for disregarding your agency in your own media illiteracy. please understand that there was little ill intent and i was actually trying to protect you from the dazai glazers, tho idk if you rlly want my protection there. they do get kinda feisty tho so you are one brave soldier

abt the dazai brick-wall-facade thing: super interesting and yeah i generally agree with you. his inability to communicate has been emphasized and i think it's something that, if he were a real person, he'd probably have to work on LOL. idk if bsd necessarily treats it as a bad/good thing — just a Thing. but then applied to skk, i actually believe asgr puts a lot of time into showing (not telling) that dazai does Not do this with chuuya, especially when they're 22, arguably even in stormbringer (tangent for later).

it's all very subtle — laughing at the rich girl act, smiling at him during lovecraft, legitimately giving him a choice about corruption, even calling him a diff "partner" title in jp. very, very subtle shit. notice that bones kills most of this. the thing is, i think it's also made clear that chuuya easily reads through the remainder of dz's bullshit, mostly when they're 22 (but therefore suggestively 17 and on, since they haven't been in contact since dz left the pm) — playing into the rich girl joke, suggesting code-worded formations during lovecraft, reading through dazai's stupid rolling-on-floor shtick in meursault. none of this has to be explicitly romantic either, asgr employs this stuff to demonstrate that they have a close, long-term bond. again, subtle shit, probably only readable if you have the context of stormbringer, which leads into the tangent.

stormbringer dazai, or mafia dazai, is dazai at his worst. every character in bsd has a time when they are at their worst, and they are all working to redeem themselves, for themselves. that's kinda the point of the whole series: find a reason to live, for others but primarily for yourself, no matter what you've done or will do or didn't do. at the point of sb, dazai does not understand human connection as a part of the self, since he's an isolationist little imp and also a traumatized "i know too much" child. pretty sure the whole shipping container scene was meant to demonstrate this. so yeah, dazai put chuuya through physical and emotional hell because he didn't understand the weight of either of these torments. when he finally does in dark era, he gets outta his "worst."

but you'll notice that when it comes to chuuya's humanity, he gives chuuya as much time as possible and hesitates to speak. again, subtle shit. i really think it does sb a disservice to say that dazai was trying to have the best outcome for himself — his goal was to protect mori and the freshly righted PM from collapse (aka protect yokohama from collapse), and along the way chuuya gets a power-up after losing some friends and going through some pain (which isn't that deep to dz) while also hurdling the question of his humanity by finding out a bit of his past. it's a very "i'm above it" analysis of reality, which i think sets up dazai's character arc + og mindset pretty well — through dark era and fyodor, dazai faces that he cannot be "above it" if he wants to really live. and so, here we are, witnessing him come down here to eat, breathe, fall in love, and die.

abt BEAST — i agree with you lol. i think BEAST is the epitome of a dazai who is forever "above it." his only option is suffering, lackluster returns & the achievement of a singular goal, and suicide. it's a subplot and subtlety to read into. otherwise, BEAST is utterly and wholly sskk/aku/atsushi gourmet dinner.

& on the topic of dazai's death that you mentioned way back, i agree with you. dazai needs to get nerfed somehow to confront the struggles of living. i think meursault has been pretty good for that, now that fyodor's up and kicking again — dazai's been intellectually and physically bested, and now he's facing everything he thought was inconsequential. the loss of friends, of agency (lol of The Agency also), of purpose, of physical ability. his suicide stuff is quite possibly chekov's bazooka missile and he'll probably end up dying (maybe through self-sacrifice), although in a completely different tone than in BEAST. im going to tentatively trust asgr with that... it would possibly make or break dazai's character LMFAO

ugh this is so long. i have/had Thoughts and you've dragged them out. but abt dazai being good/bad (as dz glazer identifies it) or better (as you id it), i'm pretty certain the whole point of dazai is to demonstrate that there is no good or bad in the world. like. Yeah. i somewhat agree that he isn't "changing for the better" in any significant way, precisely for the reasons you pointed out. him relying on others directly is a good sign tho (trusting atsushi to handle things in dead apple, sending akutagawa as the eyes/flare, etc). i'm rather certain we're seeing, rn in meursault/airport arc, dazai's capacity to truly change being challenged. so yes!!! i too have hope for this arc :0

this ended up being pretty dz centric which is sad because skk are two components after all... but this is way too long now. as always, pleasure to read ur writing, and keep it going!!! and please say hi to your discursive cheese friend for me <3

what have you done to me, cas

[reachermori]

I continue to break my tumblr hiatus for this show because I'm so annoyed with this stupidity and feel the need to put my thoughts into words.

Apologies for the rant. It's a little all over the place, but I tried to put it in a coherent order. It mostly focuses on hating James and on how I think Ted and Jamie's relationship and arcs were wasted, especially in relation to one another.

If the ending scene is indeed Ted's dream, I think it's even worse in regards to Jamie and Beard. Essentially Ted's "happy" versions of them have them close to their abusers, who have done nothing to deserve it.

The idea that Ted's happy ending for Jamie is him reconnecting with his father, who seems proud of him, is pure projection. That's what Ted wants for himself, but he's also inserting his own good relationship with his father. (Which, if we were getting more episodes I might be okay with as it would be interesting to explore.)

The first two seasons really built up Jamie and Ted to have a good relationship, or at least be important to one another, and I still think they could have had a really powerful impact on one another.

While Jamie has grown a lot and that had a lot to do with Ted's influence, I think he could have had that talk with Ted instead of Roy about how having a positive male influence is important to his continued growth. Ted however, could have learned through Jamie and his struggles with his father's toxicity that it's okay to let go.

I have always been happy with the idea of the show ending with Ted returning to Kansas, because I thought it was important for Ted to learn that it's okay to leave and move on. Ted's biggest internal conflict is his inability to quit things, and I really wanted him to accept that quitting isn't inherently bad. Maybe even have an arc with Henry in a toxic situation that he's sticking with because he knows his dad never quits anything to reinforce to Ted how problematic that mindset is, and decide that it's okay to quit Richmond to be with Henry where he clearly wants to be. (Also I disagree with the idea that Ted has nothing in Kansas besides Henry. I doubt Ted Lasso of all people has no one. He built a community in Richmond in only three years. He'd been in Kansas the entirety of his life up until then, there's no way he has no one. Also, even if he didn't, his relationship with his son is more important and I don't fault him for prioritizing that)

This is where I think Jamie could have helped Ted's arc. They could have had parallel journeys in deciding their father's actions do not have to define them, and I think Jamie could have reached this point first and be the one to impart wisdom on Ted for once. You could even keep the "forgiveness" talk Ted gave to Jamie, and then have Jamie come back after the game and say something that conveys "fuck forgiveness, he doesn't deserve that. But I do need to let go of the pain or I'll just hold myself back from growing. Because I'm done letting him have any influence on who I am."

Instead of getting anything with any nuance or something different than every other abuse plot in any show ever, we just had the ghost of Ted all season. He was barely in this season! Especially with relation to the players. We only had one scene of Ted and Jamie talking as people (instead of talking about football strategies or Zava when the coaches just assumed Jamie was jealous instead of concerned about the team dynamics) and connecting, and it was for Ted to tell Jamie about the importance of forgiveness.

Sorry but abuse isn't something you should just forgive, especially since James isn't making amends. He's getting sober, and we don't know if it was his choice, it could have been court mandated for all we know. Also I said this in my previous post, but addiction doesn't just make you abusive, and it especially doesn't make you facilitate your child being sexually assaulted. So I don't see any world where just getting clean makes James worthy of forgiveness. More importantly is that Ted and Jamie don't know that James is even in rehab when they have this conversation!

It's bad enough that we had to deal with the cliche "forgive him for you" perspective, but now we know it either leads to reconciliation, or at least Ted hopes/thinks it should. I'm not sure which is worse, but Ted thinking they should reconcile when he lacks a lot of knowledge about the depth of abuse Jamie endured is just insane.

I really wonder if Ted knowing about Amsterdam would have changed how he handled everything, since that is - in my opinion - the worst thing we know James has done to Jamie canonically. (Or if he knew about him trying to murder Beard...) Though knowing this show and how this season was written, if there was any discussion about this they would mess it up even more. Like I can just imagine a tangent about how many sex workers are disadvantaged, and how they may not have had a choice either, and diminishing Jamie's trauma AGAIN!

However it shouldn't matter what he knows, it's not like Ted is ignorant to the abuse, he's witnessed it twice. The first time he just walked away, something else I wish the show addressed at any point. Ted only saw what James was willing to do in public, and doesn't seem to have ever considered it being worse in private or when Jamie was younger. Bringing up the first Man City match would have been a good way for Jamie and Ted to fully open up to one another and relate to each other regarding their trauma and how they've let it hold them back.

For a show that emphasizes the relationship between father and sons, they really decided to abandon all the father figure relationships they had, especially Ted with Jamie & Nate.

I actually think it works with Nate, since it's clear Nate and his father's biggest problem was that they just could never be on the same wavelength, and while they can't fix the past, they can now create the bond they always should have had. His father actually acknowledged his wrong doings and apologized, and that level of accountability is missing from James' "redemption". Also Nate's father had a good relationship with his wife and daughter, so it makes it more obvious that his and Nate's issues are due to a disconnect and not out of malice. James never had a single good character trait until they decided to redeem him out of nowhere in the last two episodes. If we at least had Jamie say something like "my dad was great before drinking" it would have at least made the rehab stuff seem a little more like redemption. But we only have Jamie and his mother talking about how James has always been like this, and will never change.

Just changing a few things to make Ted and Jamie's relationship pay off in this season for both of them, would have done a world of good.

Anyways this has been a little all over so I'll leave it here, but suffice to say, I disliked the finale...

[dany36]

actually i need to talk some more about the ch 11 ending and human milla/milla maxwell because this game just stabbed me in the heart over 36 times and i still have 5 chapters to go so i won't be able to hold on until i do my usual junk thoughts post at the end.

GOD. WHAT AN AMAZING CUTSCENE. Dare I say the best cutscene in the history of tales games?? I just...can't deal with all of the emotions it handed to me at once. from Elle being such a fucking sweetheart trying to protect Milla by hitting rideaux with her sword, to Milla's heart-wrenching scream of "Please! Look after Elle!" before she sacrifices herself, to everyone's lovable badass Lord of Spirits Milla Maxwell's incredible return to the action...like...WHAT THE FUCK!!!! AAAAAA now THIS is how you write a damn cutscene!!!

FIRST OF ALL, when the game introduced fractured milla, of course i was happy to see A Milla in the game!!! Milla has become one of my all-time favorite video game characters so the fact that we got to see her again was fucking wonderful!! obviously I quickly realized how different this Milla was from Milla Maxwell, but I honestly liked her?? i'm glad we saved her from the fractured dimension she was in because holy shit she just looked so vulnerable in front of fractured muzet!! once she joins your party you realize she is much more charimastic in her own way, her voice conveyed much more warmth than Prime Milla, and of COURSE her relationship with Elle was so cute and sweet!!! Prime Milla's friendship with Elize and Leiah won me over in Xillia 1 but Elle's attachment to Human Milla was so fucking well-done that I just lack the words to express how fucking devastating the follow-up to Milla's sacrifice has been to watch, and to see Elle get so angry with Prime Milla for not being HER Milla is like....AAHHHH THIS IS TOO DAMN GOOD!!!! I HATE IT BUT I LOVE IT BUT I HATE IT!!!

SECOND OF ALL, i was such a naive fool when I got excited to see the title card for chapter 11 and saw that it said "Milla Maxwell" because oh shit!!! The Milla we all know and love from Xillia 1 is FUCKING BACK, BABY!! But NOOOO, of COURSE there can't be two Millas in the prime dimension, I had no fucking idea her "dying" was gonna be so fucking heart-breaking to watch!!! I couldn't even be as happy as I thought I was gonna be upon Prime Milla's return because of what I had just witnessed, but...that's what makes this so damn good, isn't it??? 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔 human Milla was just so relatable and the game did such an INCREDIBLE job of having her grow on you as her own character!! she isn't the Lord of Spirits but who the fuck cares?? this Milla was amazing in her own way!! 😭

And can I just say that Milla's voice actress has done a fucking excellent job in this game?? I noticed the difference in her voice between Human Milla vs Prime Milla right away, it's insane!! like, as soon as Prime Milla spoke, I got...a bit sad because that warmth and charisma from Human Milla was gone, but then I was like...yep...that's Milla Maxwell alright... 🥺😭

it's a bit weird to see that your affinity level of Human Milla carries over to Milla Maxwell, especially 'cus I just did Milla's ch 3 story and it really does feel like you're starting over in terms of getting her trust. even though she DOES say that when she was in the dimensional abyss she dreamt of the Human Milla and Ludger and the rest, but....idk idk human Milla you will never be forgotten!!! ;_;

ALSO THANK YOU NAMCO for including a small skit of Elize being happy to see Prime Milla again and Milla saying that she looks as good as ever. LIKE YES ELIZE AND MILLA BESTIES FOREVER 😭

and lastly...Elle. Elle you beautiful adorable little girl you must be protected at all costs. i must admit i didn't care much for her at the beginning of the game and found her...kind of...annoying lol. but wow once again good job namco for her character development because if ANYTHING HAPPENS TO ELLE I WILL GO ON A KILLING SPREE!! she's suffered enough!!! FIRST with her dad being missing and now Human Milla!!! AUUGHHHHADLJFALDKJFL

well, enough xillia 2 for today. i need some time to recover from this heartbreak. ;(

[givereadersahug]

2022 Fic Round-Up (Again)

Am I doing another fic round-up? You bet! They deserved to be talked about. Why should I stop talking about them once I publish my work? Thanks for the tag @danpuff-ao3!

Rules:

Post the top 5 works you're most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular),

your top 4 current WIPs that you're excited to release in the new year,

your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year,

your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year,

and your number 1 favorite line you've written this year!

Tagging - Anybody who see this post, go write ahead! I want to read about your fics and what you're excited for!

5 fics

I'm going to try to talk about fics I hadn't talked about before. Got to spread the love! And I feel like some deserve more attention, or at least an acknowledgement from me that -- yes, I wrote the thing and no, I didn't forget about you.

The Mirror of Erised (Harry Potter, Gen, 200 words) - This was written for a prompt community on Dreamwidth, which challenges you to write a drabble using 100 words or 200 words in total. The prompt for this work was 'shattered glass.' This was...different. I knew immediately I wanted to write a fic using the Mirror of Erised. I have a whole complex backstory for the mirror and how it came to be and what it saw through the years. And I knew how I wanted to end the story. The story would make for a heartbreaking, well-rounded fic if I had the capacity and the talent to convey the emotions I wanted to convey -- the devastation, the yearning, the complete loss, the possession. So I used this prompt as an exercise. Sometimes I do that --- most of my drabbles are slice of life fics that don't need more than a few hundred words to express. But for some --- for some, I want to see if the story is worth telling. Does it merit an expansion? An in-depth look? A second chance? It's a great exercise, imo, and I get my bazillion and one ideas out there in the world and not hidden away in my folder on my computer to never be seen again. The process of thinking about the world and editing the drabble and seeing it published --- it helps with figuring out which story is worth my time and which isn't worth my time. Maybe I will go back to it. Maybe I inspire someone to write something. Who knows? But back to this drabble. I'm proud of this drabble. I think. I'm proud of the story in my head that I have for this world. I do, however, want to change the wording and the pitter-patter, rhythmic way I wrote it. (Since I think the rhythm was lost a bit and certain sentence structures, imo, were wonky.) But the reception over on Dreamwidth was great. People really responded to it and I really love the story in my head. Which that's the problem, huh? If only we have a way to transfer the stories we envisioned directly onto the page. Now I'm just rambling. Back to the topic. I'm proud of this. It deserves to be talked about. There. <3

Peace (SK8 the Infinity, Matchablossom, 200 words) - This was also written for a drabble prompt community on Dreamwidth. The prompt was 'you know me.' Matchablossom. What can I say? They are my comfort ship right now. Unlike my other ships, this one is 'realistic' in a way that this could be my parents or my friends and their partners or the loving couple I know down the street. Just them. Being old friends who happened to be in love and do domestic things together and fight and be annoyed with each other --- without the fate of the world hanging in balance, or a chosen one prophecy, or complicated planetary relations muddling the waters. Comfort. It's the little things you do for the person you love, which I think I captured in this drabble. The little things that Kojiro does for Kaoru throughout their days together. (In this case, feeding him, since Kojiro runs a restaurant and Kaoru is a mess of a human being who forgets to eat and needs to be fed.) Action speaks louder than words -- the dynamics of their relationship, their feelings for each other. I was working on my 'showing, not telling' and I don't know. This drabble is one I often come back to to read. Most of the fics I read is all about the complexities, or the dangers of saving the world/country/universe/etc, the grit & harshness of a couple getting together. Which is great! But sometimes writing about domestic fluff and established relationships with no true conflict --- well, there are so few writers that can get that right for me. Each genre and each trope is complex in its own way, and everyone has different tastes, and sometimes you just have to write the fic you want to see in the world. This is a long-winded answer to just say that I know what I like, and I love this drabble.

Forgiveness (Harry Potter, Severus Snape/unnamed male character, 625 words) This was written for the hp-coffeehouse community on Dreamwidth for the prompt - coffee/tea in hot weather/summer. Old man Snape! Waiting in a teashop and asking for forgiveness from an old lover. I wanted to write a Muggle AU about regrets and...man, was this hard. I think I did okay. I went for a more lyrical style. I had no specific male lover in mind, since this was about Severus coming to terms with his past actions. I was reading Yoko Ozawa's works at the time (highly recommend her books) and I was trying to capture her style. I don't think I succeeded, but I'm happy with the outcome. Even if it took me a while to get this written. 🤣

Devotion (SK8 the Infinity, Matchablossom, 7316 words) I wrote Intricacies first. Devotion is a remix of that fic. I was dumb and thought - 'Huh. What if there was a fanfic that actually dealt with the real legal issues in Japan in relation to same-sex couples adopting?' Cause, let's be real here. Same-sex couples can't get married and they can't adopt. (Yet.) And there were a lot of fanfics about Kaoru and Kojiro happily married and maybe adopting a child, and I decided to throw cold water onto the parade. I wanted to read a fanfic about their struggles to get married and to adopt, and when I couldn't find one, I wrote it myself. In the end, this fic isn't even really about them adopting. It's about them coming to terms with each other and them being a team. Adoption and marriage (and to a lesser extent, citizenship, a whole other bag of issues Japan has) was just a vehicle in Kaoru and Kojiro being more Kaoru and Kojiro. You think that given I wrote the fic I have the words to express my feelings about it or talk about the emotions I wanted to convey, but I can't. 🤣 Anyway, I'm proud of this fic. Go fic!

Colours (Harry Potter, Snarry, 2268 words) This was written for the Liquid Luck Drabble challenge. The prompt was a photograph of blue butterflies on a fallen log. It's pretty simple. I just wanted to write a fic in which Severus gets railed by Harry. But I also wanted Severus to be hopelessly smitten? But yet in a Severus way? idk how to describe it, but I wanted to write how Mr. Darcy looked in the second proposal scene in Pride & Prejudice (2005). Completely enamored, enchanted, beguiled, besotted---- basically all the adjectives. 🤣 I wanted to create a sense of ethereal and grace in the story, cause the photograph (which is linked in the story) is such beauty and mystic and other-wordly. I know I'm not a plot-heavy writer. What I do want is to bring up certain emotions while you read and I wanted this fic to be like a dream you dreamed once.

4 WIPs

I'm not going to count my fest fics. Mostly, I just don't want to jinx myself. I have yet to drop a fest and I feel like the more I talk about them, the more I get insecure? Have second thoughts? Something goes funny in my brain, so here are other projects I hope to accomplish in the next year or two.

The Loneliest Time Project. I always wanted to write a series of fics based around a theme, so I figured new year, new project. The Loneliest Time is the sixth studio album released by Carly Rae Jepsen and it's my favorite album of 2022. It is also ripe for inspiration. Each song is an examination of different types of loneliest. There is cynicism in this album. There are heartbreaks, regrets, bitterness. I have a few ideas already. I just need a push to actually write them out.

King Severus. My bedtime story for Coco. I'll finish it! I promise, Coco! I PROMISE.

Your Name & Paranorman. These are two Snarry AUs I spoke about once or twice on Discord. I have the outlines. I just...hmmm. Something is holding me back, and I need to figure out what it is.

Restoration. My incomplete Snarry AUctoerfest entry. The one I dropped and wrote something else for the fest. I'm hoping to have this one done before the 2023 AUctoberfest, but who knows? *crossing fingers*

3 improvements

I got over my writer's block? That is a major improvement, I think. 🤣 Do I even need the other two?

Signing up for fests! That really helped in getting my mojo back. And participating in prompt challenges. I apparently like structure and rules, so fests & prompts really helped this year.

Learning not to worry too much about being perfect. English is technically my third language. I used to be obsessed over my fics having to be perfect before I even think about posting them online. I don't even care if my plot would be received well as long as my grammar is perfect. My grammar is farrrr from perfect. (I'm sure there are a bunch of mistakes in this post.) I have eccentricities in my writing style, the way I talk, the way I think. Nobody is ever perfect, so why should I be? And the edit button is always there. (Also, can I say again how tenses are the BANE OF MY EXISTENCE. arghhhh.)

2 resolutions

I want to crack that 10k mark. One of my fic needs to hit that 10k mark. Please?

Thorki, my love. My OTP. You are intimidating and scary to write for. I hope I can write something for you. So far I have dipped my toes in. I just need to submerge myself fully. Hopefully. Maybe.

1 line

Hmmm. I only have one line? But..hmmm. Okay, for this bit I decided to randomly choose one fic from SK8 the Infinity and one from Harry Potter and pick a line from there. (Or in this case, a paragraph.)

Devotion - (SK8 the Infinity, Matchablossom, 7316 words)

This moment at the tail-end of Kaoru’s rant, him voicing all his anxiety filled thoughts he must had have obsessed over – this moment with Kaoru’s flushed cheeks, his hair out of place from all his gesturing, and his eyes filled with heated passion and the deluge of pure emotions cascading from every pore – Kojiro thought he was in love with Kaoru before but this. This was the moment Kojiro knew with absolute certainty he was head over heels, couldn’t live without, shout from the sun and moon and stars and heavens he was totally, devastatingly, hopelessly in love with Kaoru – the most infuriating man Kojiro had ever known, and the most caring man Kojiro had ever known. He would have fought the world before for Kaoru, but now he would fight Kaoru if he himself got in Kojiro’s way in making him happy.

Dragons - (Harry Potter, Severus Snape/Charlie Weasley, 2659 words)

Dragons were misunderstood; people always saw them as violent creatures when they were anything but violent. Hulking and snarling, they were gentle creatures at heart. They react with brutality and sheer force when backed into a corner. I knew how to handle the beasts; I am reaping the reward for bedding one.

[cosmicjoke]

How can I send you the links if you want to have me blocked? How can we have a fair conversation? Do you just silence people who want to have a profound conversation with you?

I was not speaking with a facade of amicability earlier. I was being genuine because you're a stranger and it would be frankly insane for me to start a conversation with you with hostility. However, I can confirm that your assumptions and condescending replies do now make me feel a bit annoyed because I don't see the reasoning for it.

Also concerning LGBT characters in AOT. Historia was never confirmed to have romantic feelings for Ymir. She never blushed or did anything that explicitly confirmed that they were a canon couple (by your stated standards at least)

Hange is also never confirmed transgender in a way that can't be refuted. A lot of people still call them a woman and use 'she' because they say Isayama never outright confirmed that they aren't a cis woman and that's because they refuse to acknowledge anything Isayama said outside of the story(same as you). With these examples, we can clearly see that every LGBT relationships and characters in AOT aren't explicitly confirmed which makes sense because again, homophobia. I don't know why you're trying to deny the impact of homophobia(especially of the homosexual kind) as if it isn't a known fact for writers to use subtext in relation to LGBT matters for decades upon decades now. It doesn't make them a coward or hinder their ability to confirm straight ships, and Isayama clearly from what we've seen isn't above that. And that's where I can see that you are as biased as you claim others are. And that you do in fact have something against gay Levi shippers which is obviously clouding your reasoning. It doesn't matter how many stories about the ship you claim to have read. Action speaks louder than words. And your actions are surely dwindling your credibility to anyone who isn't a Levi x Oc follower of yours who is frightened by the mere thought of Levi possibly being a homosexual man. It sure has dwindled my perception of your credibility which is honestly disappointing. It is also disappointing that you think the factoring in of homophobia being the reason for the subtext in Erwin and Levi's relationship isn't worth considering. That just speaks volumes of the naivety of those who are privileged.

Also, I think it's weird that most people now need to be spoon-fed everything an author is trying to convey without understanding the meaning of why we writers portray things the way we do. It's ultimately childish to disregard whatever an author says outside of their work because you think you have the ability to decide what should be taken seriously by the author and what shouldn't. You want us to disregard what the author himself said although what authors say about their works in interviews and guidebooks are an extension to the story itself. We should disregard that simply because you say so. That's definitely not how to make a point. I can tell you as much. With that attitude, you would never win any debate you participate in. Do you truly even understand what canon means? Is it spoon fed so called 'evidence'? Where has the understanding of subtextual literacy gone to?

If people close to Isayama say there is something about Levi and Erwin's relationship which isn't simply friendship or a superficial guiding light comrades in arms as you insist. And compare their relationship to a soldier in love with his leader in another story. I think it is perfectly okay to question what their relationship is as well. These people talk to Isayama frequently while we don't. I think it's crazy to think we have a better understanding than they do, or that we have a better understanding than the author himself. It isn't silly to question Erwin and Levi's relationship because no other male characters and their male friendships have the dynamic Erwin and Levi do. There's a reason why Yuki Kaji said they have a cruel and beautiful relationship and compared their relationship to Eren and Mikasa as well as Ymir and Historia (one canon couple and the other also an implied couple) countless times without even being asked. There's a reason for these things.

And just because some Eruri shippers mischaracterize Levi doesn't mean we are all the same. I for one know that Levi deeply cared about all his comrades equally, and that everything he did for humanity was not because of his romantic feelings but out of his own goodness and better judgment. However, that doesn't mean he didn't have romantic feelings for Erwin.

Also, when I asked you the questions of the gestures Levi did which no other straight man did with their platonic male friends (the heart on his chest, and him sulking etc) you just slap on the reasoning “it doesn't mean he is in love” it makes me wonder if you understand what subtext even means. It doesn't mean he was in love, that's your reasoning but then it also doesn't mean he wasn't in love. That's how vague you saying that is. It isn't a concrete answer. That was what I meant.

Don't block me so that I can send you the links and have us discuss this like adults and not throw temper tantrums.

I'll find a way to send you the links since I don't know how to at the moment but I'll find a way. Again, don't block me so that I will be able to do so.

PS. Eren and Mikasa have been described as friends and comrades many times. Friendship doesn't negate romantic feelings.

Holy shit, bitch. First of all, I'm not reading all that, because I blocked you for a reason, and now you've created a second account just to harass me. If ever I needed proof that you are exactly what I said you are, this is it. You're obsessed and can't let it go. I don't need the links because none of it matters. I've explained this to you multiple times, and you still refuse to get it through your thick skull. Supplemental material is irrelevant when discussing canon. The only thing that matters is the source material.

Keep assuming and speculating and extrapolating based on nothing, deriving meaning where there was never any intended. Keep living in your world of ridiculous delusion. Nobody cares. But keep trying to force feed it down other people's throats, and then we have a problem.

Bye, don't talk to me ever again.

Good god.

[noxinkwell]

Writing Characters with Insecurities

This is an interesting take and one that I sort of agree with, but I want to say that insecurity isn't a bad or a good trait. It's a neutral trait to me and it depends on how you write your character and what you're trying to convey.

Everyone in life has insecurities and the way those insecurities develop and present with every person is different. Some are inherently 'worse' than others but they're human emotions and they're all ones that we've all experienced. Insecurity makes us do a lot of stupid shit in life, but if you can *relate* to a character that's so much stronger to me than making an "annoying" character.

So, examples of how insecurities can manifest! Let's get to it.

Examples:

Sadness

Envy or jealousy

Perfectionism

Anxiety

Constant need for validation

Over-confidence

Lack of Confidence/low self-esteem

Difficulty in trusting in others

Being unable to say "no"

Self-doubt

Blaming others

Co-dependency

Not speaking honestly for fear of judgement from others

Lack of accountability/blaming others

Indecisiveness

Pushing people away

I don't know about any of you, but I've done almost all of these things in my life at one point. Emotions are a complex thing and showing that well in a story is a powerful thing!

Furthermore, insecurities manifest for different reasons and in different scenarios and some people perceive those insecurities differently. This is important to remember.

The thing to me, is when we have a well-developed characters, it lets us (the readers) know why the character has those insecurities. And the thing that readers (and maybe even writers) sometimes confuse... an explanation as to why someone does something is NOT an excuse.

But I've always said, "it's hard to hate someone up close."

For me personally, I prefer stories that have HUMAN characters.

What do I mean by that?

Characters who are flawed. Humans are all flawed and we all come with our own set of them due to an exorbitant amount of reasons (parents/guardians, relationships, friendships, etc). Some flaws, yes, are more "annoying" but it makes them relatable. If you can give me (the reader) a good reason as to why those insecurities have developed, I might be able to resonate with them a bit more.

Everyone has insecurities. Insecurities are not an inherently bad thing to write into your characters. And it's okay to write characters with insecurities. In fact, I encourage it personally as someone who reads to see a character arc (not necessarily growth either but you get my point).

Writing Advice: Insecurity

Remember: Insecurity Is Not A Good Trait!

What makes people hate so many insecure characters is because their insecurities are never given proper weight in the story!

At best, it's "humble bragging". At worst, it's annoying and an obvious ploy to get superficial relatability!

Insecurity isn't being humble nor is insecurity the mark of a good person!

Insecurity Makes People Hurt Others To Rise In Life!

Insecurity Can Cause You To Abandon Accountability!

Insecurity Can Lead Towards Being Self-Absorbed!

Insecurity Can Lead To A Mental Health Crisis!

Being insecure shouldn't be treated as the equivalent of being humble nor should it be treated as necessary to being a good person!

In fact, insecurity, as a negative character trait, often leads people in real life to act out in spoiled, selfish, immature, and horrible ways

CONFIDENCE DOES NOT EQUAL EVIL

INSECURITY DOES NOT EQUAL GOOD/SYMPATHETIC

[emilyoracle]

How to Make Instantly Likeable Characters: Pt. III

This guide is actually three guides in one!! Aren't you lucky! We are going to discuss:

How to effectively introduce a character

How to get readers emotionally invested in a character as quickly as possible

How to make a new character likable (or dislikable) in a few lines

Making a Character Likeable (or Dislikeable)

Em, didn't you tell us this in the previous guide? A likeable character has agency and reason.

Yes, a likeable character, which is necessary if you want readers emotionally invested. But now I'm talking about making the person behind that character likeable or dislikeable. This isn't about investment, this is about good ol' fashioned first impressions.

So, it's great to effectively introduce a character or get emotional investment in one chapter, but how do you get readers to like or dislike a character within a few lines of meeting them? How do you convey to readers "Hey! We like this gal!" or "Hey! We hate this guy!" almost immediately?

Again, it doesn't have to be a matter of whether the character is a good person or not. They could be a perfect saint and still be hated. (Actually, by default they might be hated because perfect people are annoying). But I digress.

Like everything else, there isn't a singular method or a one-size-fits-all way to do this. Every story requires different approaches to each aspect of its construction, otherwise it wouldn't be very fun to write or read any story.

But there are some tricks that can be finagled into just about any genre or character archetype.

Making a Character Likeable

1. Relatable Flaws

As I said above, making a character "perfect" tends to make them annoying. (Mary/Gary Sues anyone?) The true trick is the opposite: flaws.

Give your character relatable and grounded flaws. No, not "quirky" or "cute" ones; real ones. A hot temper, severe pessimism, a tendency to lie, a superiority complex, self-centered vanity, etc., etc.

Don't go overboard. The difference between a relatable flaw and an annoying one is typically how often it comes up. If a character is always stubborn to the point of derailing others' plans or ideas at every turn, that can be frustrating. Decide what makes the flaw emerge, don't make it their whole personality. Or, if it is always present, decide what stifles it and incorporate that where you can.

For example, a character who is always stubborn as above can easily fall into the "disliked" category. A character who is always stubborn unless they're with their partner, who they defer to because they love them and trust their opinion, allows that flaw to be well-utilized instead of overdone.

If you want them to be likeable, make the flaw real and relatable, and don't let it be the defining character trait. Or, if you do, make sure it's offset by other traits or characters.

2. Inner Conflict

Everyone has a rich, deep inner life that is rarely glimpsed by the outside world. One of the biggest advantages of literature over video media is the ability to consistently convey this to your audience. (And is why "the movie is never as good as the book," but maybe that's a topic for another day). Use this advantage for all it's worth. Make sure the audience has a front row ticket to the thoughts and emotions inside your character(s)' head. Whatever your POV, this can always be done for at least your protagonist.

3. Just make 'em snazzy

You know those characters, usually anti-heroes, who don't necessarily have any redeeming traits but they're just enjoyable? It's easier to do than you might think. All it takes is:

Authenticity | Wit | Resourcefulness

The reluctant one who is forced to come through in a clutch. The one who stays true to themselves. The one who takes situations maybe not with a great attitude but with a great lot of witty remarks along the way. The "rogue," the "bad boy," the "trickster." These characters tend to be universally liked. It's a triad of complimentary traits: humans are hardwired to appreciate authenticity, humor, and survival. Put those three together and you have a pretty strong formula for likeability.

The trick to this is making it effortless. Don't force situations or dialogue to "prove" how neat or fun or cool the character is. Let it flow, let the character react naturally to whatever comes their way.

-

Now, you can incorporate all this and show what a good person they are because they... I don't know, give a puppy a million dollars, but you shouldn't have to "prove" that your character is good in order to convey that they're likeable. And they don't necessarily have to be good in the first place. [Insert scrolling list of endless villains the internet drools over here].

Making a Character Dislikeable

It can be difficult to pin down what makes you dislike a person. Maybe they're gross, or have a habit that overstimulates you. They might be a horrific, evil person, or maybe they're so good at everything that it pisses you off. Sometimes, people just plain annoy you because your personalities don't jive.

You'll never be sure whether a character you tried to make unlikeable will end up a fan favorite. [Insert scrolling list of endless villains the internet drools over here]. And of course, some people might dislike a character you wanted everyone to love for the tiniest or pettiest reason, and vice versa. You can't read people's minds, and a trait that you despise might seem harmless or tolerable to someone else.

That said, here are a few reasonably guaranteed ways to make a character disliked.

1. Persistent/Unforgiveable Flaws

Yep, opposite of what makes them likeable, who could have guessed. You can make them gross or annoying with no reprieve, or make them a heinous person who seemingly does terrible things for the fun of it. Just keep it obnoxious, incessant, and/or unforgiveable. 2. Anti-thesis to the protagonist

A person who is the opposite of your protagonist, and especially if they are seen through your protag's eyes, might be automatically disliked if the protagonist is already liked. If your character is an athletic high school girl who struggles to get good grades, having a character seen through her eyes as a slacker who doesn't try but still succeeds could be annoying to both the MC and the audience. 3. Agency without understandable reason

Now, agency without reason makes it difficult for emotional investment, as discussed in Part II, but it doesn't necessarily make the person dislikeable. What makes them dislikeable is agency without understandable reason. To use AtLA again: Firelord Ozai wants to conquer the world and routinely commits genocide to accomplish this. His reason? He... wants power. Maybe there's a deeper underlying reason (like we see in Azula's tragic arc), but it's not shown and therefore it is easy and, quite frankly, natural to hate this guy.

4. No agency at all

A character who does absolutely nothing, and especially one who complains or is miserable without any attempt to improve their circumstances, is dislikeable. But even a happy character can fall prey to this: think of the "deadbeat dad" stereotype, the father who lazes around all day watching television. Even without a bad temper or drinking habit, that kind of character grates on people's nerves. If a person drifts through life with no discernable goals or motivation or even hobbies, it's hard to find anything to like about them.

-

Now let's talk about conveying all this in a few lines.

First Impressions

It can be overwhelming to make a character come off the way you want them to throughout the whole story—let alone accomplish it within the first few sentences of meeting them. All you need to remember is that the first impression is not the whole picture, and you can use this to introduce them effectively (!).

Introduce two traits.

Take the strengths and flaws of the character and pare them down to two that are either the most defining traits of this person or are the ones that will give the impression you want the reader to have. Then showcase just these traits. Don't worry about the others, they can come later as readers get to know your character more.

For example, say you have a character who is bold, cunning, and confident, but is also a deceitful swindler who only does something if it benefits themselves. You want this character to be liked, but you also want readers to know that they're not exactly a good person. Let's take two traits - cunning (asset) and deceitful (flaw), and incorporate that into the introduction.

"Beautiful fabrics! One of a kind! Fit for a king but priced for a pauper! Ma'am, would you like to take a look?" A woman halted as Lyka stepped into her path and held out the bundle of cloth. She politely looked the wares over before lifting a palm.

"No, thank you," she replied, brushing past to continue down the street. Lyka smiled after the woman, then turned when Ral popped up beside her.

"Twenty-five kwall," he said, bouncing the coin purse in his hand. "Not bad."

"I told you she'd be an easy target," Lyka bragged.

What if we want this character to be disliked on first impression? Then use both flaws—deceitful and selfish—for the introduction.

Lyka stumbled, ramming into the man trying to skirt around her.

"Sorry, so sorry, excuse me," she said, fumbling to get her feet under her and smooth the creases she'd made in his clothes.

"Are you alright?" he asked. She nodded. "Try to be more careful." He kept walking. Lyka continued the opposite way, smiling to herself as she felt the weight of his coin purse in her pocket. She'd be feasting tonight.

"Excuse me, miss," a small voice piped from her left. She glanced at the scrawny urchin holding his hands out to her. His too-big clothes couldn't hide the evidence of starvation on his gaunt face. "Do you have any tithings to spare?"

"No," she said curtly, shooing him off with a wave of her hand. "Go bother someone else with your stink."

Don't worry about getting everything about the character across. Pick the bare minimum of what you want readers to know and go from there. It's easier than trying to condense every single aspect of a multi-faceted person into as few lines as possible: don't condense, whittle. Consciously consider what first impression you want your audience to have and construct your choices and introduction around that instead of focusing solely on the character.

This is a perfect use for betas: gut check. Ask them for their immediate gut reaction/first impressions of characters they meet. It's best to ask them this before they start reading, so they can notate in the document as they go. That way you know it's their real first impression, unclouded by future discoveries or development.

---

I hope all this has been helpful! Again, if you disagree with any of these suggestions or techniques, don't use them! Write your story the way you want to. But I do hope this has given you a useful resource if you ever get overwhelmed by first chapters or character introductions.

Check out Parts I & II: Effectively Introducing Characters & Getting Readers Emotionally Invested.

Remember to write a sentence of your story today~ Thanks for reading!

[muzzable]

Luke Triton for the character thing?

Oh boy, my boy! (I have many boys)

First impression: I think I found him annoying lol. First PL game I played was Curious Village and I was presumably younger than Luke at the time, but similarly to him at the stage where you want to act mature and I probably thought he was too immature.

Impression now: I love this character a lot. Eventually I started identifying with him somewhat because I also like blue, have a similar hair color that can get messy in similar ways, and found his character arc about keeping a calm head to think things through relatable (which iirc is more prevalent in the novels, though I know most haven't read them). Also I wish I had his power to talk to animals.

Favorite moment: That's a hard one, but I think I'd have to say the scene with the statue in Unwound Future. He's a very emotive character, so the solemn quietness of the scene really stands out, and I like how tender the moment between him and the Professor is with the reminder that yes, things do change and people might leave your life, but that doesn't necessarily mean they're gone forever, and you'll still have those memories.

Idea for a story: I'd definitely like to see more of his time in America, especially with the information we learned about it during the anime. We know he learned karate, fell in love, got married, and solved mysteries with his wife, so there's a lot to explore there. Imagine a spinoff series focused on the mysteries he and Marina solved while also showing them going from friends to newlyweds.

Unpopular opinion: Maybe this isn't as unpopular as I think, but I like his design as an adult. I think keeping the primary color as blue but making it darker conveys his maturity well, you can see some influence from Layton and Clark in his fashion choices, and it looks gentlemanly. I see it and think "Look at him, he's all grown up, he's no longer a gentleman-in-training!" Plus I admire that they actually went and made it noticeably different from the Future Luke design in Unwound Future. I will concede the fedora is too small though, and the anime's inconsistent animation didn't help it, though that part's understandable given the amount of animation they had to do. (But seriously like, did he buy one of those costumes for dogs and take the hat from it or something?)

Favorite relationship: I'm gonna go generic and say his relationship with the Professor. I like how he encourages Luke to better himself, and is always patient and gentle with him, and their conversations flow really naturally. Over the course of the series it feels like they both grow into better/healthier people overall because of it; at the beginning of Last Specter Luke's closed himself off from the world intentionally, but Layton's also somewhat of a loner as well, and after knowing each other they both learn to open up to people more. I'm also partial to his and Emmy's sibling-like teasing and how in Unwound Future he's all "Ugh Flora can't you take this seriously? 🙄" but you can tell they actually have a lot of fun together and he's just being 13.

Favorite headcanon: I like how it feels like pretty much all of the fandom agrees Luke and Marina met in school and/or due to a mystery he was trying to solve. The first feels very real and would be a good way to show he's adapting well to life in America, while the second is very in-character because if there's a mystery we all know he can't leave well enough alone (wonder who he got that from lol).

[emikadreams]

May I request a prompt?

Feyre being comforted by Cass and Az when Rhys isn't available or all the bat boys comforting her? Just their fluff?

And maybe Lucien and Rhys bonding because Lucien means so much to Feyre and Rhys making an effort for her?

Ahhhh I LOVEDDD THISSS!!!

thank uuu sooo much for sending this in and I hope u enjoy this fluff monster!💕

Also please be kind with me, I haven’t edited this properly, studying for exams iss a bitchhh

Spoiler warning for anyone who hasn’t read acosf...

Uncles Retreat 

Rhys was gone.

Well, he was not home.

Ok fine he was at the Palace of Jewels but Feyre missed him horribly. She had thought it was impossible to miss him with every cell of her body but each new day shows her that her love for Rhys was like time; eternal and sweet. 

Feyre sighed and decided that she wouldn’t get out of bed today, she had meetings to attend herself but after being pregnant her duties had lessened and Rhys made sure that she was stress-free, “Cauldron, I love him so much.” She said to their empty room but she heard a chuckle from the bond. 

Her heart leapt as Rhys stroked talons down her shield and she lowered them instantly to let him in.

“Missing me, darling?”

“Horribly.” Rhys chuckled but she knew that he felt the same for the feelings he pushed back told her more than words could convey.

“I’m afraid that I’ll be stuck here for a couple of more hours darling.” Rhys sighed exasperatedly.

“Ugh fine, but can you bring me some dessert from Rita’s before you come home, I had been dreaming about it and now I’m starving!” She could feel Rhys smile with joy and pride as he said, “Tell our son that his father loves him to the end of the galaxy and back and that he will do anything to keep him and his mother happy.”

Feyre laughed, “He’s already got you wrapped around his finger, hasn’t he?”

“Oh most definitely darling, but I’m not complaining. You and Nyx are my everything.” 

She could feel his promise resonate through her body but the moment was broken when her stomach rumbled and Rhys took that as his cue to bid goodbye, not before telling her to eat well.

“Overbearing mother hen,” Feyre said softly before getting out of bed to find something to eat.

Seeing the house empty she touched her belly and said to her son, “Looks like it’s just you and me, love.”

“Aha! Not so fast high lady!” said Cassian as he breezed into the house through the front door followed by Azriel who looked at her and her belly and smiled unabashedly, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

“Oh no.” Feyre exclaimed, “I know that look Az, that’s your ‘Cass has something planned but I won’t let him do it alone lest he burns another building’ look.”

Cassian squawked in offence and turned to glare at his brother who simply shrugged at him, “What? She’s not wrong is she, I didn’t come to that trip to the summer court and you managed to burn down an entire building.”

“It was one building for cauldron’s sake, a teeny tiny building.” 

 Feyre laughed seeing them bicker and shook her head but her heart warmed that she was finally a part of a family that cared for each other as if they were all related by blood.

Her eyes burned and her throat tightened with emotion, both the Illyrians were at her side in an instant, turning her this way and that, scanning her entire body before saying in unison,

“What hurts.”

“Do I need to call Madja?”

The former from Azriel and the latter from Cassian. Feyre stuck her tongue out at them before answering, “Nothing, you overbearing uncles. I’m fine. Pregnancy hormones, remember?”

They breathed a sigh of relief before beaming,

 “Uncles. You called us uncles.” Cassian said, love, etched across his face.

“Well. that’s what you are, aren’t you? Might as well get used to it.” 

They laughed and Feyre joined along before asking, “ Why are you here again?”

This time it was Az who replied albeit shyly, “Well, we know Rhys is stuck at meetings so we thought we’ll enjoy some quality time together.”

Feyre squealed with happiness and hugged both Az and Cass or rather squished them together awkwardly.

“ If we knew you were going to be this happy about spending time with us we would’ve kicked Rhys out, a long time ago.” Cassian grinned but frowned as Feyre yelped.

“What’s wrong,” Cassian asked, a promise of death swirling in his eyes at whatever threatened his high lady and her baby.

“I’m fine, he just kicked.” 

“What!” they exclaimed,

“Oh that’s right we didn’t tell you guys, he started kicking a while ago.”

Cassian and Azriel stared, their jaws on the floor before Az cleared his throat and motioned whether he could feel her stomach, Feyre nodded, her face softening.

Az’s fingers were slightly shaking as he placed them gently on her round belly and waited, Nyx kicked with all the strength of an Illariyan almost as if he knew that his uncles were watching.

“Oh wow.” Az’s eyes were silver-lined and his lips were shaking, Cassian paid him no heed as he shoved Az and knelt in front of Feyre to put his hands on her belly.

Nyx replied with the same vigour he had shown Azriel. 

“Hi, nephew! This is your awesome uncle Cassian speaking, I can’t wait for you to get here so that I can have someone as awesome as me to annoy your mom with.”

Feyre giggled and Cass stood up grinning.

“Now what?” Feyre asked, curious.

“Well, we can do whatever you want,” he replied

“Whatever I want.” Feyre grinned devilishly.

“Yup.” 

Feyre giggled, a plan forming in her head. Cassian paled and tried to back away but Azriel caught his collar.

“You’re not going anywhere, you made your bed now lie in it,” Az said only half-joking.

                                  ~

Rhys was exhausted.

All he wanted to do was cuddle his pregnant mate and go to sleep not before she enjoyed the special dessert that Rita had made for her High lady, Rhys’s heart swelled with pride at how loved Feyre was. Which was what propelled him to get through with all the hour-long meetings but on arriving at the river house, a sense of dread washed over him.

His home was eerily quiet. 

He called Feyre’s name but no reply came, he guessed that she was probably already asleep and decided to go into their room and found to his surprise his brothers sitting on their bed with feyre, all in loose clothing, a huge tray of food on their laps and with face cream and cucumber slices on their faces, their heads were leaned against the bed rest and it seemed as if they were getting facials.

Rhys burst out laughing causing the trio to turn their attention to him, cucumber slices falling out of their eyes and to Rhys’s eternal pleasure Cass and Az opened their mouths to explain but was rudely shushed by Feyre, “You’ll ruin it.” and they immediately shut up

Which caused Rhys to double over with laughter, a hand on the side of his face, they continued staring at him with disinterest.

After a good five minutes of Rhys laughing, he sobered took a steadying breath and said, “Mate, Shadowsinger, General,” nodding towards them he mentioned their names, “ can someone put it on my face too?”  he asked and they all squealed with pleasure.

[savagewildnerness]

I wanna talk about Lesmand... from the POV, admittedly of a person who has zero siblings myself (actually it's worse than zero - I have a half brother 20 years older than me who married when I was 4 & whose wife actively hated our family for no reason I know (I was 4!) to the extent that I haven't had any relationship with that brother or any of the family since then.... anyway!!! Apparently my brother and his wife did used to babysit me till then.... but since they married when I was 4, I have no memory of it.). Anyway, to say, I have no idea what it's like to have a sibling, honestly!

But... caveat out of the way.... Imagine you're immortal! You no longer have any siblings. Unless you turned a relative... and even if you turned a relative, they're not really that relation anymore in that case... they're a vampire now and you're all no longer human. Are your birth relations truly relations? In the sense you will definitely have to watch every generation of them die... most cut those ties (though not all, eh Maharet!)

And then we have Lesmand. Oh dear... I feel like I'm gonna get a bit incesty vibes here... but to me Lestat and Armand are like if you had a brother who wasn't related to you at all (we could call them a friend I suppose, but I'd argue brother is closer as Lestat and Armand absolutely do not begin as friends in any way!!! Anything but!) who you find incredibly beautiful and sexy and yet you know the ALL of them, so you could never *go there* as the all is an absolute NOPE from your point of view, yet you still love them with all your heart, even when you despise them at the same time. You know you'll be there for each other always. You love each other. You care for each other. You find each other impossibly hot. Sometimes you also find each other irresistible. Often you find each other terrifying, annoying and impossible.

But there is very, very real love. And it isn't *entirely* platonic. But it also isn't truly romantic. You would never be together. But you have a kind of connection that's a deeply powerful thing, nonetheless.

I dunno... I don't even know if I believe this. I'm just typing as I write. I'm just thinking on how in Lestat's darkest depressions, time in The Earth, Armand is usually the one watching over. Yet Armand also often hurts Lestat badly. And Lestat always notes Armand's beauty and how he cannot comprehend his mind entirely, yet he wishes he could make Armand the happy angel of beauty he sees.

And yet they would never be companions. Obviously more from Lestat's side than Armand's. But in time, I think from Armand's side too in the end. And yet... between them exists some thing.

But yeah... I talk about Lesmand here as, as I see it what Lesmand are is an important thing... and yet simultaneously there is not one second when it threatens Loustat.

And we can look at an actual love, like Nicolas... obviously *that* doesn't threaten Loustat, as Nicolas is dead before Louis... and NickiStat in most respects died the day Nicki is made a vampire... (not entirely, of course, as Lestat cannot let go while Nicki still walks The Earth...)

And then, Lestat loves mortals who I think won't make the show (unfortunate as the show could do with some female characters, so it is a shame people like Gretchen and Dora are so religious and wouldn't work well on TV) but it's not eternal-companion like Louis.

I dunno... it's such a complicated web, and this doesn't make a lot of sense the way I'm rambling. But I really hope the show will (& I know Rolin can) convey some of these complicated dynamics... that ARE love, but they're not all soulmate-romantic kinds of love...

Anyway... sorry if this is all a load of pants!!! *runs away to bury myself in The Earth*!!!

I'm seeing a rise of fans wanting to see Lesmand,Danlou or even Loumandstat on the show but I really think it would be a real disservice to the show to make them more than juste having some unresolved sexual tensions. If they do have relationship in modern time with each other isn't there a risk of diminishing Loustat and DM in the eyes of the audience? Of course it would be realistic if they have some flying and sex with whoever but not between all the main characters with each other, i think it's not a good idea in 2026.

I don’t know how often it’s been said now that the show is built on Loustat and their relationship.

No matter what else they will show of the other (canon) relationships - and there will be - that is the basis for IWTV.

This.

And yes, there will be a side dish of this

and this

and this

there will also be Lestat & Gabrielle on top.

And Marius (and Armand?). And Akasha and Lestat.

And WHOEVER else.

NONE of these CANON relationships diminish ANYTHING.

Sorry nonny, I know you don’t really mean it that way but the VC are NOT about ship wars and NOT about pitching characters or relationships against each other.

None of the events and relationships will diminish anything about Loustat.

That said, part of my irritation definitely stems from the ever-repeating asks re Antoinette etc, yes, definitely.

But I guess… a lot of people are just not used to a show - or source material - like that. They come from the Vampire Diaries or Twilight and expect the same structure.

And that… just won‘t happen. *shrugs*

It‘s Louis and Lestat at the end of the chronicles. Dancing, as already foreshadowed.

And that’s all there is to it.

[skipps-writes-for-gojo-satoru]

I'm not sure Gojo has ever even shown an interest to any girls.

He calls Utahime weak and teases her by making fun of her, essentially- which she hates. Mei Mei is incredibly strong and beautiful, and Gojo acknowledges her skill but that's it. I also noticed that in the anime (the manga doesn't have honorifics, so please correct me if I'm wrong) but he calls her Mei-san rather than Mei Mei. Therefore, I don't think he ever tried to get much closer to her than the interactions we've seen. When she asks him if he'd comfort her if she cried, he tells her that's she strong- she wouldn't cry. I thought it was interesting that while Mei Mei's question was slightly flirty, Gojo answered so simply, without any teasing.

He calls Shoko by her first name, which is understandable since they spend more time together being in the same grade. He realizes that her ability is rare and useful, but like with Utahime and Mei Mei he doesn't go any further than that. He mostly speaks to her about work related things and doesn't flirt or tease much at all.

Honestly, I think Gojo actually respects his female colleagues and mostly pokes fun at Utahime because she's so uptight and strict. Shoko and Mei Mei are more relaxed and self-assured, and Gojo recognizes their skills and compliments them for it rather than teasing them. I doubt Gojo really thinks Utahime is truly weak more than he just loves riling her up. Other than that, Gojo's pretty respectful.

Also, in the Hidden Inventory arc, Gojo was bombarded with screaming from all the girls excited to see him. Other than pulling his shades down so they could see his face- after they asked him to, btw- he didn't really do much else. He didn't even react much to the teacher giving him her phone number. His only comment was "what a fun school," and it's interesting to see that while lots of girls do appreciate his looks, he acts only mildly amused.

Other than that one model as his wallpaper, we don't really see Gojo flirt or show interest with anyone. He only really teases Utahime to piss her off- I suspect he hates how much she follows the rules like Nanami does, who he teases often as well. He likely just enjoys annoying people so stern because rules just don't sit well with him (especially because of what those "rules" had done to Geto).

It's just a possibility, but he could be one of those guys who's more interested in work than pleasure- I know, he's handsome, but not all handsome people are players and cheaters. I think that's a horrible stigma and a lot of attractive people irl are judged and criticized solely for their looks. People make too many assumptions on someone just based on their genes, and I think it's pretty shallow to think Gojo's a womanizer just because he's attractive. And he knows he's attractive- but when did being confident in yourself make you a philanderer? Gojo has never used his looks manipulatively at all.

It's definitely a possibility that he would be a womanizer, but I'd say it's unlikely based in what we've seen. To sum it all up, Gojo doesn't show interest in anyone. He teases Utahime often, likely for the same reason be teases Nanami- they're too uptight. Shoko and Mei Mei are both incredibly skilled and beautiful sorcerers, and he does acknowledge and compliment them for it, but he doesn't tease or flirt with them. He's respectful, and he works with them as his colleagues. He didn't get distracted by the teen girls fawning over him either, or suddenly get overtly cocky or show off, only sliding his glasses down so they could see his face, and even then he acted only mildly amused. Also, when Miwa asked him for a picture, he didn't even stay and chat with her or anything (I know she's a minor, but if he truly was a womanizer, he would have at least stayed to hear her compliment him or anything to feed his ego) Maybe ask her "Oh, you want a picture with me? The strongest? How cute~" A flirty comment, a joke, something to fuel his own ego, but he doesn't do that. He doesn't act in a way that conveys he openly pursues attention from women. He just takes the picture with her and walks off casually.

Therefore, other than the fact that he's handsome- and I know many people who would assume things about someone based on their attractiveness, which is a terrible stereotype- Gojo doesn't show much interest in flirting at all. He could be the type of guy who works more than plays- and there's plenty of guys who are handsome but aren't super interested in playing around. Being handsome doesn't automatically mean he's the type to sneak around and have affairs here and there. It's completely realistic for a handsome man to be uninterested in any kind of relationships- not all men are sex crazed, and being a tease to his friends doesn't make Gojo a flirt either. Teasing your friends is perfectly normal.

Therefore, Gojo being a 28 year old virgin is totally possible- not everyone's a sex crazed teen who only thinks about what's between their legs, and basing it on what normal Japanese teens do is unfair. Neither Gojo or his lifestyle is exactly normal, and there's definitely barriers when it comes to experiencing normal youth activities for Gojo's generation- especially Gojo's generation. Yuji's generation definitely has more freedom to do fun things because of what Gojo has done to give the youth more freedom- things he hasn't been able to experience himself in his youth, like playing baseball during the exchange event. That was the first time they ever did something different to tradition, and that was only because of Gojo's consideration.

Gojo's youth was filled with blood, exorcising, and choosing between life and death. The deaths Yuji and co. witnessed were what Gojo experienced as well, if not worse. Gojo's task in his youth was to protect the weak, and he found that burdensome. At least, until Geto betrayed them, and Gojo realized the new burden he had to bear in changing the Jujutsu world because of what it had done to his only best friend.

There are definitely more important things in Gojo's mind than just losing his virginity, like saving people and choosing who to save, whether he should kill or not kill.

Gojo is the strongest, but he also bears the biggest burden- and that burden is something he chose to bear, and being the strongest is something he chose to be. Because before Geto left, it was "We are the Strongest." Now, Gojo worked tirelessly so that he could say "I am the Strongest."

And that's not something you can do while sleeping around. I think a lot of people fail to recognize just how hard Gojo works for himself and others. They just think, oh he's the strongest, so it should be easy for him. But it's really, really not that simple, is it? Especially when you have to do it on your own, and even then Gojo realizes that his strength alone isn't enough to save people. He can't save everyone by himself- It's not enough for just him to be the Strongest, so he works diligently to build and inspire his students to stand with him.

He's actually a very deep and emotional man who cares about his students and especially, even now, his best friend. Everything he does is for their sake- he sacrifices the normal life he could have lived, like Nanami had done, for their sake. And he fights with the higher ups, takes the brunt of their ire, and laughs it off, acting as if he fine, like a dad pretending he's superman for his kid's sake. But Gojo is burdened, and he's tired, and he hardly sleeps, and he has the most missions- he's the Strongest, which means everyone needs him, and he bears it.

Sorry for ranting again tho. I think I went into two different topics lol oops- 🤔

OUR SAVIOR 🤔 EDUCATING PEOPLE pay attention ya'll another thing I've noticed in the latest episode is that in his phone contacts he actually writes Utahime's name properly like formally no emojis or teasing shit he actually sees them as his colleagues people he can rely on his field of work and yes about the whole thing when he bursted into riko's class man was absolutely clueless just silent as a teacher tries to give him his number. I'm pretty sure as a child Gojo wasn't allowed to attend public schools due him being in danger or putting others in danger so he doesn't know much about public schools or normal people in general since he spends all his time with people from the jujutsu society.

That is definitely true just because someone is good looking that doesnt mean he's some cheap womanizer. I see a lot of people shipping him and Utahime together which is understandable ship who you like but I don't think Gojo as any ulterior motives like wooing Utahime by teasing her he just is plainly teasing ya know like friends do but in this case Utahime hates his guts and he doesnt know. I mean it takes some amount of hate to try to throw hot tea at someone 😂

While certainly I agree Gojo's teen like wasn't the best it was like he literally had a full time job at that age but who's to stay he didn't go messing around one time? I'm sure during his teen days he wanted to experience things he didnt get to to but now could because he lives on his own now. But maybe he didnt at all who knows? Which also raises another question, I wonder if he has any romantic experiences? And this was all before what happened in the hidden inventory arc after that I can see him more becoming invested in his duty and with what happened with geto as well would of definitely had a huge impact on him to try harder even though hes the strongest so that the next generation wouldn't have to experience the things he went through.

It's really sad if you really think about it what hes been through and what he has to shoulder all while keeping the facade that he's okay, I bet there were times he cursed his powers and his life....but he bears with it anyways because everyone is counting on him....

And don't be sorry at all! I am actually really learning alot about Gojo from you. Please continue to tell us your thoughts and feelings. I don't mind at all ❤ and thank you for taking the time to write 💕

[nefastum]

Hello there! Just coming by to drop off an HC or two as a fellow GriffGutsCa shipper... Sorry in advance for the gushing.

I've always been of the mind that Guts is like. A unexpectedly passionate lover? And super tender or sensual about it? And know when I say unexpected, I mean for Casca especially, (who didnt expect him to be very tender in the manga i would say) but Griffith too. It's easy to look at that monster of a man with how rough and uncouth he is and think he'd be a beast (and he certainly can be *wink 😉) in bed, but I like to think hes a mix of animal and sensual. Like he cares a lot about bringing his partners pleasure, and making sure they feel good.

On a related note, because I've seen it depicted badly before and kinda want your opinion: I could see him growing into a kind of sadism if either partner was into pain (bets on Griffith there it seems) especially since he is a bit sadistic in the manga (albeit in a non sexual way, mostly) though i think that, done right, it would take some getting used to for him, with plenty of reassurance that yes, they did actually enjoy the pain. I mean, he freaked out when he hurt Casca, I cant realistically see him being cool with especially hurting Griffith (another man) like that without copious aftercare (or during-care lol) and reassurances.

Also can I say how much I love that Griffith actually bottoms in some of your art? Personally, that boy is a switch at heart. It annoys me to no end that 90% of fics especially have him as a Dom, which has never made sense to me??? Because of all the people in the Band Guts is the person he is Least dominant with? He never tried to intimidate him once, not to mention he asks Guts to do things he isn't sure he'll be alright with (assassination) rather than just asserting it as an order. And he invites Guts into his personal space as well, or at least his body language does. Not screaming Dom to me. Is he possessive? Oh hell yes. But Dominant? Only when he needs/wants to be. 😊

Sorry again but I just want your thoughts. This fandom is so small and this ship is even smaller lol.

Hello there, love ♡

Don't apologize, I am grateful to receive so much tasty content 😇💕

First let me say, do we share like a cloned brain or something? I agree with all of this 1000% it's like reading something I wrote ♡

I could definitely see Guts being able to push his limits a bit and be a little rougher with his lovers- though as you said, it would take a lot of good communication and reassurance from them. He is enthusiastic/attentive about pleasing his partner as we can see in the manga, but mixing in any violence in a controlled manner would be uncharted territory for Guts. The only violence intermixed with sex he has known as been assault. Losing control would be something he fears instinctually, the thought of unintentionally hurting one of them would definitely trigger some uncomfortable memories at first. But I think if either Casca or Griffith desired rougher treatment, Guts would be willing to at least try. With constant reassurance, and if he were comfortable proceeding, I can definitely see him growing more confident of letting his sadistic/beast side out during sex. As long as his lovers are happy and convey that to him throughout, he’d move mountains for them. 

And Switch!Griffith ftw~! I am glad you like my portrayal of him.♡  I believe that Griffith has both a strong sexually dominant side and a more submissive side in general. Only with specific people and when he feels comfortable though does he let himself be more emotionally vulnerable or seek the validation or care of others. In the sexual encounters we do see of Griffith, he takes the dominant role. This is something I feel he sees as both necessary and natural to him. But, like you said, he isn’t always seeking to exert dominance over others. There are times, with those he cares for and trusts deeply, that he allows the reins to fall from his hands for a moment. Seeks their input instead. I think he’s much the same in bed. Sometimes he wants/needs to show them how they belong to him, and other times he wants them to prove their love to him by giving to him. Validate his love of them. He’s extremely possessive, but not purely sexually dominant ♡

Thank you for these lovely thoughts, dear. We are a small fandom, but our braincells are united haha ♡

[onewomancitadel]

I am really REALLY sorry for bothering you with this topic again. You do NOT have to reply to this. But I would recommend searching up "why men are avoiding women" as its related to what I was talking about. Apparently nearly 50% of men are going out of their way to avoid interactions with women. I am NOT blaming anyone for this. Just pointing out that it is a thing. Again sorry. Don't acknowledge this if I have offended you or wasted your time.

Me, as politely as possible: I have context. Please don't message me about this topic again.

You: *messages me about this topic again assuming I don't have context*

I am acknowledging this because you are annoying me in a new and exciting way it seems like you can't conceive of. It doesn't matter how much you couch it in apologies, if you outright ignore what an actual real person is saying to you and prioritise whatever ideology you're trying to peddle to me, then I don't think your ideology counts for much. You need to know how to actually convey your ideas properly, which includes respecting your interlocutor, and not simply telling them to search up some random (probably not peer-reviewed) online article. Sociology and psychology studies are notoriously unreplicable, even in the time of replication crisis. But that would be asking for a dubious online article to have some pomp and circumstance of 'science' in the first place.

So, my advice for you would be not just to think about what your beliefs are and to think that you can just transmute those to me in my (clearly inferior) mind: what should that dialogue look like? What does it mean to talk about these issues in a respectful way? What's our common ground? We should both be open to dialogue as well in the first place. That is a critical error you've made.

You are also making a critical leap in the first place from real world issues and how those express themselves in fictional interpretation, which in itself something I would want justified. It is known that in interpretation, real world issues don't necessarily have a 1:1 confluence (sometimes people have blindspots; sometimes fictional ideas oscillate with us differently to the 'real'; the very spectacle of unreality means we're dealing with something a little different, etc.). Certainly, there is some, but the leaps you're making of 'men avoiding women' and 'whiteknighting' as leading into the interpretation of 'obviously Cinder is a bitch and Jaune shouldn't help her' is... rather dubious. To me, the more simplistic answer is that these people maybe just don't like Cinder or don't like Jaune, which is maybe motivated by gender (Cinder is less excusable than Adam or Ironwood etc.), but could equally be motivated by ship competition. Jaune's other ships are more popular. Which is the devout irony, isn't it? I tend to a more holistic analysis.

Tearing down Knightfall with some weaksauce gender argument is what I would expect from people who don't know how to argue through actual narrative reasoning.

At any rate, I think that if you want to make your case effectively, you need to be more thoughtful and considerate of the person you are actually interacting with. I do understand that you don't want to offend me and you have a certain tone of apology in your ask.

Just view my response here as something to help you out. I have few hard feelings on my part now I've written this out. Mostly amusement, honestly.

[monomonomagines]

Could I get the v3 guys with a s/o who struggles with intimacy due to past childhood truama related issues if it isn't too heavy of a request please? Thank you

Sorry for taking a while with this ask anon. I was celebrating my dear friend's birthday yesterday so I didn't have enough time to get it done before now. Thank you so much for your patience though, I hope you enjoy this none the less.

Rantaro

Since Rantaro is a very casual guy he normally doesn't have to give much thought to showing affection himself.

However, he's still very good at conveying his feelings and reading others so he'd notice immediately how you tend to struggle at times.

He'd ask immediately if it's something on his part that's making things hard for you and would be very understanding once you explain.

He'd tell you that you don't need to worry about struggling because that won't stop him from loving you. He'll just have to try a lot harder to make it so that you feel comfortable showing it as well.

Once he knows the trauma you went through though he'll be trying his best to help you overcome it. He wouldn't be overbearing about it but he wants to help you by starting you off slow.

He won't ever push you but he'll gradually try to be more affectionate as time goes on and hopes that he can get you to be too.

In the end, though he'll always lend an ear if you need to talk.

You can tell him point-blank if he's doing something wrong or is moving too fast and he'll respect you.

Ryoma

Ryoma himself is used to struggling a bit with intimacy so once he'd notice how you act he'd actually be relieved.

He doesn't mind someone that's very intimate but he has trouble opening up due to his own trauma.

He'd be the most understanding out of the boys besides Rantaro and would want to let you know that you can take your time with him.

He'd try his hardest to improve the two of you at the same time.

He wouldn't be as fast as others but he'd try to do little things like holding your hand or snuggling at times and if he noticed you didn't like it or felt uncomfortable he'd stop.

He would feel a hell of a lot more comfortable around you himself if you told him about your own issues and would eventually confide in you with his.

And after, he'd be still just as understanding. He won't judge you or treat you differently, he'll just take his time and try to make things better day by day.

Korekiyo

Korekiyo isn't the most compassionate person all the time so it probably isn't surprising that he'd find even this trait of yours interesting.

However, he would care in his own weird way. He'd want to hear about what caused your issues to have you confide in him just he'd also want to see how you react to intimacy as well.

He loves you and wants to help but he will study you the entire time he does so.

Like Rantaro he starts off slow but would be a lot quicker with starting to show more affection.

Thankfully though, he's not that affectionate himself. He enjoys the simple things like holding you to him and petting your hair or holding hands while sitting next to each other.

He won't push you if you really don't like something but he will want to know all the reasons behind why you didn't.

It can be a little overwhelming with him compared to Ryoma or Rantaro but at least he shows that he loves you still.

Gonta

Gonta has the hardest time understanding your issues with intimacy out of this whole bunch.

He doesn't mean to but he'd keep forgetting about your issues involving intimacy and would keep being super affectionate towards you until he sees that you're visibly uncomfortable.

Then he gets sad though. He feels that he messed up horribly and will apologize a bunch for being so bad.

He won't want to make you feel bad but you'll still have to explain your issues to him and reassure him that he's not bad just a tad forgetful.

Then he will perk right up again and insist that he'll just help you by going slow.

He'll just forget if he gets too excited or happy so this will continue a lot.

After a while, though it'd stick in his memory so he'd improve as his ideas for helping you do but even then he always makes sure you feel loved.

Kokichi

Kokichi struggles with conveying his actual feelings so he might not seem very understanding or comforting but he does understand where you're coming from.

He has his own issues so he'd like Ryoma feel more comfortable knowing yours as well.

He wouldn't tell you his exactly but he'd let you know that he does understand.

Only after he'll go back to being an annoying brat. He'll still mess with you and tease you but at the same time, he'd be meticulously planning in his head when and how to show affection so that you aren't uncomfortable.

It wouldn't be obvious to anyone but him but he would have a lot of plans to help you since he does care for you. He just wouldn't have any for himself to improve.

Although he might without realizing as he remains at your side.

Kaito

Kaito wants to force you out of your trauma somehow and will think that it's helpful.

He won't keep going with anything if you get super uncomfortable but he'll always try pushing you to help you get more intimate with him.

He loves you and will want to gradually get you to open up more to him like Rantaro just he'll do it in his own rambunctious way.

He doesn't have a lot of plans like Rantaro or Kokichi but he puts a lot of heart into everything he does so that you feel loved no matter what.

He will though also want you to tell him everything. He can't force it out but he will keep trying to get you to tell him and rely on him if you don't.

Like Gonta at least you know how much you're loved even if it's a bit overbearing.

Kiibo

Kiibo isn't the worst at understanding your issues but he is a little disappointed since he wants to learn how to be intimate himself.

He does bounce back pretty quickly though so he'd just take this as a learning opportunity instead.

The two of you could learn to be more intimate together!

He could start slow and then keep adding more things to the list as time went on.

Then he might get as passionate as Kaito just, more like a Kaito that knows how to apply the breaks when it's needed.

He'd never want to make you uncomfortable and would want you to be able to confide in him so he'd always let you know that he's ready and eager.

He just won't be the best at comforting you about your trauma. He'll do his best but he's always a little awkward.

Shuichi

He may be awkward but Shuichi is as equally observant and will take a notice to how you act during intimate times.

He won't force you to open up but would, like Kiibo, let you know that he's always willing to lend an ear or a shoulder to cry on if you needed.

He'd want to help you out once he knows what your issues are for sure but he may struggle to formulate a plan that works as well as Kokichi's.

It's not because he doesn't care or that he's bad at reading people, he just sometimes struggles himself due to his shyness.

He'll start off with a lot of small touches and kind words and will take a while before he'd try anything else.

He doesn't even want to risk making you uncomfortable and is too insecure to push himself onto you like Kaito or Gonta.

He'd just want you to know that you're loved issues and all. He doesn't think you need fixing or anything, he just wants you to know that he's willing to help you with your issues and if you don't want to that he doesn't mind dealing with them. He loves you and that won't change.

[alchemisland]

The Moors Mutt - I

Part II coming on Tuesday!

I. Old Stone

The beast I knew only in folkloric snippets. Hedge whispers perverting history to arcana through time immemorial. Perhaps too I had known it in nightmares, shapeless until named, becoming then familiar as a bedchamber.

It was grim autumn when that fateful letter arrived, setting in motion a chain of events both strange and unlikely. In retrospect, that a series of vignettes so bizarre could start with the simple act of a posted letter seemed comical.

The letter landed with a thud, dubbing me sole executor of the late Lady Renton Sizemore's last will, a grim charge requiring a trip to her wicked home, listed in the Briarscombe country house register as the third most bloodstained holding in England.

Dislike isn't the word. Lady Sizemore and I got on famously when last we spoke, thirty years ago. I wasn't the doting schoolboy turned dribbling manchild spending Saturday nights at bingo. Neither was she the elderly relation procuring coins from behind ears to the delight of the youngers.

We were not eachother's keeper. Why I was suddenly favoured for this sensitive task that required more mental finesse than anyone in the family gave me credit for out loud, puzzled me greatly. Somebody must have annoyed her at one of her events. Sandwich gala on the Pringle Estate destroyed by careless nephew's untucked shirt. In true family style, whatever infuriated her she took to the grave.

Once the money was apportioned, I was to ensure no stone went unturned, apt phrasing given its namesake. Cairn Cottage stood oppressively atop the mound some two hundred winters, a plundered megalith shielding against the bracing gales.

Up there the flowers bloomed blighted, grass grew sideways and only the sturdiest roots survived. Without the megalith's girth, perhaps those winds might have toppled the twisted demesne, but she held firm now as old.

Mystics, druids and spiritualists alike extolled the house's phantasmic virtues. Fringe groups scrambled to reserve exclusive use of the land for Candlemas ceremonies. Lady Sizemore didn't care, provided she was soundly remunerated.

Rumours abounded of hauntings, anomalies occurring on the land by midnight's trickery.

Upon receipt of instruction, I spurred my carriage toward Cairn Cottage, the house in whose shadow no local walked without rosaries.

Although my visit was primarily administrative, there was another matter pertinent to my interests. One muttering which above all others inspired fear. A cautionary tale warning children from the grounds by night. And sometimes, on cold and lonely nights, a brave man wandering alone might see fit to take the longer road home.

Worse than druids, they said a beast lived on the Moor. A hulking creature, whose snarling teeth bared in fullness of dark glowed like spears of starlight, whose stark brightness was dulled only by the gleaming viscera of previous engagements clinging in ragged flaps.

However the rumour started, it long sprouted legs of its own, more exciting with each recounting.

No smoke without fire. I intended to find the single primal ember, the lone truthful element, stripped of frill and frock, fancy and folly, bereft of myth, or loyalty to tradition. Was there something in the fields by night? Was it dangerous?

First came Sperrin, a grizzly hamlet outside the estate's confines. For a penny, a local lad promised to find a suitable nook for the trap. I visited the sole watering hole, a squalid cellar named Lar's. The tavern itself was not charmless, offering average vintage for below average prices, warmth, music, rustic flattery and inimitably, whispers of the beast.

The tavern's proprietor Lar was a man out of time. With his arms folded across his simian chest and those big lugs like trophy handles either side of his substantial forehead, he could have easily passed for a saxon chieftain. He stood astride the bar against a backdrop of coloured bottles. Immediately upon entering his eyes set upon me with great intensity. Unlike the merry keep of fireside tales, he offered no warmth in greeting. That you were found fit to sit his barstool was kindness enough.

Inebriates remained nursing drams, glowering at their respective lecterns. Occasionally I'd catch one staring at me, then turn away as I waved. After a while sitting and sipping, making a game of catching their nosy glances, I signalled Lar's attention. 'This is probably going to sound strange. Probably because it is. Hear me out though. Have you ever heard or seen anything strange out on the moor?'

Widened like an owl, Lar's right eye scanned me once, twice, three times before he moved a muscle. 'Have in fact. Not now though. Too many around. Later.' His lips barely moved. I tipped my nose.

Nearer closing, he poured a cup and sat, remaining on the business side of the bar.

'The beast, you say?' He leaned in close, one eyebrow raised, its shape the arching rod of a hooked line. 'I could tell you a thing or two about the beast alright.'

'Prithee speak, my curiosity is burning. I won't rest a wink until it's satiated. Tourist talk aside, do you believe, as men do God, a beast prowls these forests?' I inched forward, as if by closer proximity, the truths would be truer.

'Regular Theseus, eh? Monster hunters, we have had plenty. Lovers of darkness too. Students of forbidden arts. All are served here. Kings and paupers alike. Did you come all this way to hear me say that?' Lar spoke with great confidence. The manner of his prattling meant the tales he told were true, or this was practiced.

'No.' I replied, 'I have business in the cottage. My heart though, she belongs to this creature. I am not a quack, nor a holder of séances. I am not a man of low learning on the hunt for falsehoods. I am a lover of stories. Pray, continue your captivating narrative.'

He continued, 'Let it be said I was coaxed. You wanted this.'

In this ominous portent he let slip a mask of deft craft. There was artifice in his smile, a cheshire grin that touched either cheekbone. A whispered suggestion of hidden intent.

Everything made sense. Was I seeing clearly? More than ever. I saw his ruse; city boy down for the day, take him for a ride, tell him the usual stories. A pal of his will burst in at just the right time, scare me half to death, then they'll take me to the supposed hot-spot for the low price of everything I've got. Lar took me for a lettuce. Something in his warning tipped me. A little over-arch. If his performance was not theatre, then Shakespeare never wrote.

Doubtless once finished, Lar would proffer some overpriced talisman no fellwalker could risk refusing.

'Enough pussyfooting. Spill it. I'll need all the advice I can get.' Like a drill tip, I pressed my index finger into the bar.

'No matter what image I conjure in your mind's eye, the beast is yet more ferocious and terrible in the flesh. It's the great unreality of it.' He tapped his forehead. 'Your mind doubts what it's seeing, unable to comprehend its stimulus. Brave men are made mice in its shadow.'

'What evidence have you of such a creature?' I asked, draining my tankard. He did the same, then wiped the amber residue on the back of his hand. He looked me over once, as if to ask who I was to question. I returned a withering gaze, maneuvering my features to convey a similar message. For a moment the air felt charged with kinetic possibility. As when two pugilists circle to begin a contest, lead hands pawing. Neither of us wished to be responsible for qualms.

He broke the armistice. 'Evidence? If you didn't think it weren't here, you wouldn't have come. If you believed in your heart this week you'd be contending with a monster, you'd have stayed at home in your jams.'

'Nonsense, man! You forget I am summoned, not here of my own volition.'

'We, each of us, tell ourselves sweet little lies to justify how our limited time is spent. I have a right mind to think if the lady yet lived, you and I might still have met. On a yawning stretch such as this, arriving as you have: alone and curious. If there's one thing I can't respect, it's a self hating believer. Swanning around with all the cynicism of a non-believer, clad in the robes of an adherent, so that when the hobby is proved spurious you can point to your skepticism. You'd be first to the papers tomorrow if scientists verified the beast's existence, how you had journeyed and studied on your own dime to further the science.' Lar pursed his lips, knowing he'd cut me to the quick, vanished was his earlier reticence.

I hated how right he was. I was exactly this sort. Insulting people who believed the same things as me. First to refuse to enter a haunted house for fear a demon might take my soul.

I'd never concede his point though. I riposted, 'Few are more loathed than the opinionated barman. You speak much too readily. Do so again, I'll see your manners are checked for the next weary traveler willing to pay good coin.'

Lar's eyes lit, bulging with imagined riches. 'Let me fill your drink, sir. I meant no offence. We speak freely here. Manners soften. Soon one finds truths cannot be digested unperfumed. Here in the wilds, it's a duty to voice quarrel. Far from crown and court, unaired anger festers.' Lar gladly dispensed his pearls of rural wisdom as if they were sweets from a bulging striped bag.

'Really, man. Every idea can be made ridiculous if extrapolated to that degree. Manners take the edge off. I'm not offended by your candor. I intend to find the creature, if such exists. Have you no doubt about that.' I watched him pull another drink.

The returned tankard was too full to raise without spilling. I slurped loudly, head bowed. Like a pulled plug, half the liquid gone in a single gulp.

'What evidence is sufficient? Look around you.' Lar held aloft his hands, urging me toward his empty business, still cast in a sickly light from the last flickering sentinels.

He pointed toward the empty seats. A single patron remained hidden in the shadows. A local by his boots.

'We did a roaring trade before that bloody woman inherited the place. Once she came, the trade died. When I was a lad, that land was free to roam. No walls. She had them built to spite us. Worse rumours too and all, that she built those walls to house it.'

'It?' I asked

'It. The beast.' Lar's voice lowered to a whisper. 'A cage for a pet beyond control. That's your sort all over. Dabbling where you shouldn't.'

'Her sort.' I corrected, 'I'm not aristocratic. You're a presumptuous sort, you know.'

'Believe you're not the first to say. Her sort, whatever pleases. I don't subscribe to this theory. Me personally, I think it came from hell. One thing's for certain, it got worse when they shifted the cairn.'

'You say you have seen it?' Part of me thought I was the one stringing him along, but another more gullible me firmly believed, or wanted to believe, that he had seen something. Hoping not to seem needy, I drew myself close to him, the bar still between us, 'With your own eyes if you saw it, you must swear it now. Did you see it as I see you now, or as one sees the distant stars and erroneously assumes knowledge.'

'As I stand before you.' Lar gestured to his stained apron, which he then removed and hung on a hook overhead. He nodded to the barfly, who stumbled from his seat and shot the bolt across the lock, an angry black mechanism like a bas-relief, which clanked against the timber as he let it fall. 'That's Fergus.'

Fergus lurched over. One leg trailed behind him. I couldn't help imagining him as a gothic manservant, dragging corpses to the laboratory in pursuit of higher knowledge. He came to stand beside me. There were giants on the earth is those days. Though our eyes observed the same setpieces, his countenance betrayed little comprehension. He had the chiseled jaw of a marble bust in profile, but his mouth hung open permanently, moist lips pursed like a fish.

He placed an enormous hand on my shoulder. Such space was permitted between his splayed fingers that ten legions abreast might find passage unmolested. His knuckles protruded unnaturally, evidence of labour, something harder than masonry or smithcraft. Mayhaps soldiering overseas.

I stared at his hand. He never looked at me. I coughed, first mannerly, then more harshly, thinking to approach cautiously lest my assumption prove provident, that he had lost his sound during foreign campaigns, of whose spoils we all were beneficiaries.

'Don't mind him.' Lar said. He spoke softly in the presence of his friend, observing his movements closely, ready to interject with a steadying hand or a warning to the cruelly curious. I wondered were they brothers. They bore little resemblance, though stranger things I had heard. Lar took Fergus' wrist and pressed gently, disturbing the folds of his motheaten jacket. They shared a moment I could but observe, radiating warmth and glad tidings in a wordless wave.

'I mean not to speak boldly, and lash me with spite if I transgress overmuch, but I must know or I should forever wonder, are you kin?'

Fergus shared Lar's laugh with the same look of bemused ignorance.

'You hear that? Fancy man reckons we're brothers. Probly thinks we're all related down this end, and not in a godly way.' Lar laughed, a viking bellow.

Lar released his grip and the folds of Fergus' sleeve righted themselves. He spoke several octaves lower, miming offence at my observation. I started to explain I intended no hidden subtext, but Lar waved to indicate all was taken as delivered.

'We are not brothers. Close friends. Known Fergus here forever.' He gently tapped the giant's hand, slapped on the bar like some enormous muddy bird print. 'Used to be a keen cookie too, once upon a forever ago. Loved languages, Welsh mostly. Pugilism he loved more. One passion consumed the other. Anything burning so intensely inevitably cannibalises itself. Took one knock too many, stole his wits in an instant. A left hook across the bar sent him erstwhile. Twenty five minutes he was on the shores of night, learning the landscape of the dreamworlds, while we fanned his rigid form, wet his brow and whispered familiar names in his ear. When at last he woke a part of him was left forever in that place. I like to think, boyishly perhaps, it awaits him upon leaving this plain of lousy strife, like the belongings awaiting a homeward jailbird. The cloak of a lost lifetime. Not for him. He'll slide right into it, fit like a tailored piece, and all of eternity to speak. Not here though.'

Tears welled in his eyes. I took the reins, 'Think nothing of your emotions, man. We each have them. Doubtless I will shed a tear up in the old witch's place. Another life awaits, that much is sure. Grander than this. I'm sure he made, and makes, a fine man. Built like a gladiator. I am sorry to have dredged unpleasantness. I meant only to satisfy my own selfish curiosity. Forgive me. Please, continue.'

'I will at that.'

'It were one night, three years ago. Ferg was there. We'd been called out on account of strange noises near the workers' cottage. They wouldn't work until the evil was killed or driven away. We came down from the high road proper and saw it between the trees ahead. Like a horse it stood, with clumsy stilts supporting an ursine bulk that swayed as it shambled. It drank shadows to conceal its dread presence. Blackness it took for robe. In walking its front paws propelled its cumbersome form, while the rear set, less lengthy, dredged channels in the dirt. In motion it arched to reveal a belly spun of lighter felt, ashen in the scant moonlight. Bundled, it became an orb of shadow, nothingness.'

'Unbeknownst we watched it watching, green eyes like blazing protostars probing for movement. Well it knew to choose this site, one of only two wells being located nearby. In a flash then it was gone, satin-shoed away into the night.'

The tale Lar knew was a scorcher paused. He beamed, an actor awaiting applause. I gathered my jaw from the floor, brushed it and set it back properly.

Each word drew me closer, which Fergus mirrored, until we three sat as witches about the bubbling lip of their cauldron, a coven of pallid specters.

Lar paused to sip and nodded we join.

I wondered had my hobby, in a blink, become too dangerous to justify. It was well telling my employers of ghost hunts, but a wild beast - my insurance wouldn't have it! If it turns out some menagerie escapee, what then was it? Quest for wonder or recklesss folly? Weiss, Wellie and Wardun insurance, even in their most obscure policies, don't pay out for fools. That's why I chose them!

Lar went on, a fresh cigarette painting the air blue in his articulation, 'Each new, shifting moon we came to that spot and watched. We took it upon ourselves to rid the land of danger.'

'Fergus knows a bit about a bit, that's what's left to him, God bless. What he knows is knots. Army training dictates every officer have at least passing knowledge of ten or more useful fastenings.'

'Me? I know about animals. We make a fierce duo. We inquired in advance about a reward, to which the estate responded agreeably, so we set off with lengths of rope overshoulder and the angriest looking traps the furmen could spare, determined to snare it. We planted snares all about its presumed domain.'

'Nothing came. Not a rat. Not a wisp. Not never again. It's the mystery disturbs me most. I'd die happy knowing.'

In his voice a single note of longing rang, dispelling the subterfuge of his intentions and, in the length of a breath, his beings and inner machinations were laid bare. Far from the sinister goldlust and murderous intention I had silently attributed to him, he seemed eager in an earnest fashion, willing in the name of a job done.

I observed Lar, powerful and straight. 'Do I sense an unfinished quest?'

'Aye. Not too subtle, mind.' Lar flashed a toothy smile, the sort a condemned man spits at his executioner. 'You seem a serious man. I didn't know when you first came in parading your manners like fancy knickers. You can't be too sure about a man who gives too many pleases. You're not that sort and have proved such twice over.' Lar imagined that was a compliment from the look he gave me. Expectant almost, between child submitting scribbles for display and cat batting dead mouse onto pillow.

Well, of course I had something to say about that. Cats were hissing. A donnybrook of claws and torn fur not even a hearty stock of iodine could salve. 'And I might say also that I too had cast aspersions on your character, maintaining you were of sinister country stock. As you claim to have been rapturously convinced otherwise, as have I.'

'Once the lady's estate is divided and bequeathed I'll receive my own. I mean to inherit a substantial bursar. I will pay to you a fair sum. In exchange, you will guide me to the hotpots, generally ensuring nothing eats me. When we find it, you're in charge until it's bound.' If he came, it would be on my terms.

'Find it? Slow down. We've seen it once in a hundred times. I'll take you gladly all the same.'

Wordless, we shook hands and drained our horns.

'Tomorrow?' Lar asked. He drew my gaze to an unopened whiskey bottle, which I declined.

'Not so, good man. Tomorrow I will tend my affairs. In the evening, if all is ordered, I will return to discuss further a plan of action. Have you a room I might rent?'

'Not for everyone mind, so don't go saying. There's one in the back. I'll light the fire.'

'Please do.'

I left a generous tip. Before following the publican to the warm hollow, I shook Fergus' hand, assuming he too would be part of our fortean friendship.

While I slumbered, the nightmare broke free her paddock, thundering across the veil of my somnambulant phantasmagoria, its clanging hooves ringing shrill terror.

I saw spined creatures oozing pus, many-eyed. Edgeless orbs hissing like flying snakes from one black abyss to another.

Cats with human faces screamed. A hairless man with a tail curled upwards like a scorpions noxious pike disemboweled himself with a broken mirror.

Last came the bestial form, not unlike that which Lar had described, striding evilly. Two venom coated fangs, uncontained by its snarling mouth, curved inward toward its breast. Catlike claws glinted menacingly. Turning my third eye downwards as if to look upon my feet, I found I was formless, yet the beast circled knowingly around the space my corporeal form should occupy.

I knew instinctively this reverie was more tangible than the others. That if the beast should strike I would die or wake screaming with a crimson pool spreading below me. It sniffed the air, pawing closer.

I woke to my beastless chamber. Sodden, I sought a candle and in its gloam chronicled my nightmare. That night sleep ne'er returned, making groggy my morning plod toward Cairn Cottage.