#who just love me like its easy I think of my grandparents

[aceyanaheim]

tbh my grandparents are the only people I'll really never come out to

to be fair they're the only people in my family that make me feel I'm easy to love tho

So like I think I'm allowed.

[loganhowlettshousewife]

animal

chapter 1

friendly reminder that i am not a writer, i'm just a girl who loves logan howlett and wanted to write something exploring his animalistic side since i so rarely see it done. my first language is also not english, so please do not be rude when giving me any feedback.

warnings: non-sexual nudity, swearing, some sexual-ish thoughts

series masterlist │my masterlist

you had been baking a pie, rolling out the homemade dough for the crust, humming along with the soft music playing through the house, when through the open window you’d seen him. a large man, as naked as the day he was born, running towards your farm. you could only watch in numb shock as he went into your barn, now hidden from view.

what the fuck.

you haven’t been inside that barn in over a year. the farm belonged to your grandparents, and you’d inherited the property after they died. while you love the peace and quiet that came from living in the middle of nowhere, you aren’t a farm girl, so the barn went largely unused.

you think about just leaving the man alone, hoping that he’ll leave eventually.

you keep rolling out the dough, soothing repetitive motions, while you stare at the barn, expecting something else to happen. but nothing does. you almost think you made the man up in a moment of insanity.

it’s this that gets you to finally exit the house, anxiously heading towards the old barn with its creaking wood and chipped paint. you take a deep breath to prepare yourself before stepping inside, every nerve in your body screaming at you that this is a very bad idea. 

you’re both relieved and not when you see the man curled up in a corner. relieved, because you weren’t going insane, and not because, well, now you’re going to have to deal with this strange situation.

you take a step closer when he doesn’t lunge at you to attack, then immediately jump back at the gleaming metal claws that appear from between his knuckles. one second he seems mostly harmless - or at least as harmless as a buff, six foot tall man could be - and the next he’s growling at you, face twisted into a snarl, body tense and ready to pounce at the slightest wrong move.

“hi,” you say, softly, the way you were taught to speak to distressed animals. the man cocks his head to the side but doesn’t lunge at you, which you take as a good sign. “i won’t hurt you, promise. but i am curious to know what led you here.”

by here, you mean both the physical location of your house in the middle of nowhere but also whatever reason he has for running through said middle of nowhere naked. there’s some kind of story there, likely not a good one judging by the way he watches you distrustfully. you have a feeling he hasn’t had a good or easy life.

the man doesn’t answer, not that you really expected him to, but slowly his claws retreat back into his skin. he’s marginally less threatening like this, though you know the smallest thing could bring the sharp blades back out.

despite this, you don’t believe he’s a danger to you. he just seems scared and confused.

“are you hungry?” you ask him. again, he doesn’t answer, and you wonder if he’s able to speak. “okay, how about this, i’ll bring you food and you don’t have to eat it but you can. i’ll be right back.”

you don’t turn your back on the barn, on him, as you jog back into your house. it’s much warmer inside than it is in the barn - you were so distracted that you hadn’t been feeling the full effect of the early winter cold. you think of the man, he must be freezing, but you hadn’t seen any sign of it, no shivering, not even goosebumps raising on his skin.

one thing at a time, you tell yourself.

your half-finished pie is sitting discarded on the kitchen counter and you look at it mournfully. you’ll finish it later, and maybe you’ll actually have someone to enjoy it with you.

(it gets lonely sometimes, so far from any cities or towns. usually, you don’t mind it, but apparently there’s some small part of you that still desperately craves human contact and interaction, since you’re jumping at the chance to take care of a random stranger.)

you have leftovers in the fridge that you suppose will have to do, since making him a fresh, home-cooked meal would take time, and you’d promised to return hastily. you heat it up quickly, the warmth emanating from the food another reminder of the frigid temperature outside as you bring the plate into the barn. 

he looks up when you enter, sniffing the air like a dog. it’s cute, and you smile as you put the plate down, careful not to get too close to him, letting him make the first move.

whether he trusts you or he’s just starving you don’t know, but he rushes to your side and starts eating like he hasn’t had food in a month. with him distracted and closer to you, you can get a better look at him. 

he doesn’t look malnourished. he’s buff, muscular and hairy, and you have to stop your eyes from going lower as you stare at his chest.

you look away despite the man being too distracted to notice your shameless ogling. he might be the hottest man you’ve ever seen in your life - or you’ve just been away from men for too long and have become pathetic.

he eats quickly, and looks up expectantly at you when he finishes, like a dog at their owner. you giggle at the comparison you’ve made in your head - it’s quite accurate, you find, with the way he immediately seems to trust you now that you’ve fed him.

“do you wanna go inside? it’s pretty cold out here, and inside i have more food.” you say, and when you go to stand up so does he. you explicitly do not look down.

he follows you into your house, and you’re so glad you live alone so there’s no one to question whatever is happening.

it’s easy to find extra clothes in the guest room, less easy to find any that you think will fit him. eventually, you give up, hoping the sweatpants you found will do for now, and grab one of your own shirts, thankful for your habit of buying oversized men’s t-shirts. it goes down to your thighs, surely it’ll fit him.

you turn to head back into the living room where you left him, and your soul nearly leaves your body when you spot him standing at the door. you yelp, your hand flying to your chest and the clothes falling to the ground.

he startles at the noise, tensing and looking around like he expects danger. 

“shit,” you swear, “how are you so quiet?”

he frowns, and you could swear that he seems apologetic, though you aren’t sure how accurate your interpretations of his facial expressions are given that you’ve only known him for about an hour. it makes you feel a little guilty, though really you shouldn’t be since he snuck up on you.

you’re about to offer him the clothes when you pause, gaze locked on his chest. “you should shower.”

he follows you when you lead him to the bathroom, which you take as agreement on his part. he’s dirty, covered everywhere by a thin layer of dirt. a shower will feel good. it would also give you time to process this without him watching you. his eyes are quite intense, and he keeps them directed at you. you need the privacy to freak out.

it’s only after you place the clothes down on the countertop and show him how the knobs in your shower work that you realise he’s not making any moves to enter the shower. you start to leave the bathroom and he takes a step to follow you.

you stop, thinking about how he doesn’t seem to know how to speak, how he looked so scared and confused when you’d found him, and you sigh when you realise it’s likely he doesn’t know how to use a shower either.

what is your story? you think to yourself.

“do you want help?” is what you ask instead.

he nods slowly, which is the closest you’ve gotten to a response from him so far. you look up at the ceiling, inhaling deeply and bracing yourself when you realise this means you’re going to have to touch the hot, naked man.

you turn on the shower, waiting for it to warm up before you motion for the man to get in. you are absolutely not willing to get naked in the shower with a stranger whose name you don’t even know, so you step in fully clothed, already regretting it when you feel the fabric growing wet and sticking to your skin.

it’s as you’re helping rinse the dirt off him that you spot the writing on his dog tags. you’d noticed them previously but hadn’t been able to get a good look. 

you take the metal chain in your hand, turning it to read the name stamped into the metal.

“logan,” you read, and the man in front of you purrs, a low rumble in his throat. you smile. “i’m going to guess that’s your name. logan.”

this seems to relax the last dredges of tension that he holds. he practically melts into you, and the feeling of being trusted so fully by someone who seems so broken warms your heart in a way that you haven’t felt in years.

you finish washing him up in silence, only interrupted by occasional soft purrs and hums from logan. he quite enjoys it when you wash his hair, hands reaching up to scrub shampoo into the strands, nails scratching at his scalp. you switch your earlier comparison from a dog to a cat, the purring reminding you of the kitten you had growing up.

he shakes his head when he gets out of the shower, water flying everywhere, and you laugh as you hand him a towel. you once again have to help him when he just stares at it like he doesn’t know what to do with it.

he gets dressed on his own, thankfully, since you already feel like you might implode from being in such close quarters with an extremely attractive, wet, nude man for so long. 

you leave him for a minute to dry yourself off and change into dry clothes. it’s nice to have a moment of reprieve, where you can simply breathe and process and question what the fuck you just got yourself into. you finally allow yourself to freak out a tiny bit, muttering to yourself in the mirror, tugging at your hair.

you just manage to pull a shirt over your head when you hear quiet whimpering at the door and the sound of loud banging against it.

your heart breaks at the sound, reminded of the wounded animals your grandparents would nurse back to health, and you rush to pull some pants on so you can open the door. logan looks at you with the most devastated eyes and then falls into you, face nudging into your neck, inhaling deeply. you stumble back, thankful for the wall that catches you. he’s heavier than he looks, which is saying something, given his size.

you’re shocked for a moment, frozen, but quickly come back to yourself and place your hands on his firm back.

“i’m sorry,” you say, “i didn’t mean to scare you. i wasn’t going to leave you, i just needed privacy for a moment.”

you don’t know if he understands anything you’re saying but it makes you feel better to explain yourself. you’re shocked that this is the same man who was snarling at you, claws out and ready to rip your throat out not so long ago, shocked at how quickly he’s grown attached to you.

shocked at how quickly you’ve grown attached to him, too. then again, you’ve always been this way. you like to help people, and logan seems like a man who needs a lot of help.

“i was baking a pie, when i saw you,” you tell him, “how about we go finish that? you don’t have to leave my side. you can watch me and i’ll teach you all my secrets.”

and as you expected, he follows you into the kitchen, trailing after you like a lost puppy. normally, you hate having anyone else in the kitchen with you, getting in your way when you’re in the zone, but his presence is nice. he doesn’t speak, doesn’t distract you or get in your way, just stands and watches you intently.

you’re already used to having him here with you, comfortable enough to turn your back to him. it’s crazy, and a (big) part of you knows that this isn’t exactly a smart thing to do, but you’re already planning on letting him stay for as long as he needs, maybe even forever.

taglist: @mystiquesvendetta @raeinyourdreams

[batboyblog]

hey thanks for not being super doomer over these anti-trans bills. i kept on seeing so many people being defeated over them and it messed up my mental health for a while, like nothing could be done. but you did bring up some good points and shed some light onto people who are actively fighting for us so i thank you again

The queer movement, in the US any ways, has always been cyclical, we make big gains and push forward, then there's a super scary backlash. We're right now at the hight of a really scary backlash thats focused on trans people in particular but is anti-queer more generally. It's intense but its important to remember these backlashes don't generally last very long, they are scary, but each time they've happened, the mid to late 1970s, the 1980s, the early 2000s, the tide has gone out and gay rights, LGBT rights, and society's acceptance of LGBT people has been farther along than before they have never ever managed to turn us back in the years since Stonewall.

And as intense and scary as this is in some ways it's better than last time, when I was a gay teenager. in those days... in 2004 and 2008 the Democrats running for President were uniformly against gay marriage (the big issue of that time) they were trying to get us to settle for the not marriage alternative of civil unions. Only a handful of Congresspeople (some of them gay themselves) in DEEP! blue districts dared to support gay marriage outright. Today the Democratic Party is the most pro-LGBT major political party in the world, you had the President and every Democrat of any note making statements for TDOV a few days ago and you're not seeing even red state Democrats back down and agree to be "a little transphobic" for votes. It felt a lot more lonely last time when it was us and a handful of allies fighting the backlash with most of the Democratic Party on the side lines handwringing and saying "well can't you wait?"

any ways this movement is and will always be a struggle, the rights we've won, the acceptance we've received has never just been given, it's been won, through hard work. Everyone has to dedicate themselves to work in their corner of the earth to the best of their abilities and to push themselves past what they think they can do. That means hooking up with LGBT rights groups on the ground to protest, to rally, to try to support and comfort those queer people who are down and out in whatever way right now, it means digging deep and having hard and awkward conversations with the people in your life, if you're gay or trans or whatever and you got that one aunt/uncle/cousin/whoever in your life that loves you to bits but you know still votes Republican and you just don't bring it up because you don't want to hurt the relationship... have the talk keep having the talk as many times as you need to. Tell your grandparents if they don't know, tell your parents (if its safe or if you don't need their money any more) tell co-workers who don't know etc, they vote for us 2 to 1 if they know they know one of us. Finally register to vote, make sure all your friends particularly if you're young are registered and vote, vote in every election. Trust me it's AMAZINGLY easy to find the email of candidates for school board or city council and it's amazingly easy to ask questions. Last election I emailed every school board candidate about Holocaust education, and the state rep candidate about trans rights, she wrote me back a lovely note and mailed be a sticker she'd picked up from a trans rights group. It's amazingly easy to get involved, I volunteered with my local democrats for one election and they offered me the #3 spot in their local party, I have the phone numbers of my state rep and state senator without trying really, you can get in the room with these people, with candidates for governor, congress, I have my picture with 3 US Presidents? its not hard to do, and you can use chances like that to talk to them and show them your humanity and leave an impression that really matters in the long run.

sorry to RAMBLE but it's important that everyone do their part, pick a little something, a project to push this thing forward, people doom scrolling, particularly posting about how its hopeless does not help, posting in general doesn't help much even if its not doomerism, I think in the years after the anti-gay marriage Bush backlash we got very online and we got very "progress just happens" and a lot of people fell out of the habit or came of age without the habit of protest and without a local queer community or local progressive community and its very important in the face of this to find or build those and also understand in some places its gonna be years of work to get where we want to go, but we will and it'll be worth all the work.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

I just saw a Zero to Hero buck edit on TikTok and i can’t help but think of Eddie’s first impression in Things We’re All Too Young To Know so I am craving more from that Universe lol ⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️

HELL YEAH!!! Love that you remembered that. It was important to me haha.

1k for TWATYTK!:

---

Eddie spends a minute sort of fuming before walking back into to the empty nursery, where Buck is still stewing over his laptop, comparing design ideas to their actual space. 

“How’d it go?” He asks when Eddie joins him. 

Eddie could get into it. He maybe should. This could very well impact Buck when Helena does come to meet her granddaughter. But his mother just lashed at an old wound. So Eddie reverts to an old defense mechanism. He avoids it. 

“She doesn’t need more than one grandparent, right?” Eddie jokes wryly instead. “Bobby is more than enough, I think.”

“In my experience he makes up for several absentees, yeah,” Buck says. “So, it went super well?”

“Oh, just great,” Eddie sighs. 

“Want to talk about it?” Buck asks.

And again… Eddie really should. 

“It’s not even worth talking about,” Eddie says. “I am far more interested in your nursery progress.”

Buck grins and turns the laptop screen towards him. 

“I think I’ve got a plan.”

🗲🗲🗲

Buck settles on green. 

Soft, easy greens. Nothing too vibrant. Like a forest on a summer day. Something that makes him think of the few things he does miss about Pennsylvania. 

It’s not just personal preference guiding his decisions, either. There are a lot of good reasons to surround his baby daughter with green. It’s pretty neutral. It doesn’t feel like shoving any sort of gendered expectation at her. And! It’s science-backed. Buck did some research into the human brain and color perception, and apparently green is the most relaxing color. It’s her bedroom. She should be relaxed! 

He gathers ideas of little leaf and blossom patterns he could stencil onto the walls and gets a palette together. 

“I think I could do interior design,” he tells Eddie when he finishes showing him. 

“This took you over a week to settle on,” Eddie reminds him. “I think actual designers have deadlines and clients to impress.”

“Okay, buzzkill,” Buck frowns. “Do you like the green?”

Eddie smirks. “I do like the green. What do we need to do?”

“Shopping trip on our next day off?” Buck asks. “We can get everything we need and slowly chip away at it?”

Eddie nods. “Sounds good to me.”

Buck grins. If their biggest issue between now and the baby being born was nursery colors, and he just solved it, he’s feeling pretty darn good.

☆☆☆

It’s one of their last calls before that day-off shopping trip. 

Honestly, it shouldn’t even be memorable. It’s the kind of call they get a lot. False alarm type scenarios from people who are scared. This time it’s a pre-teen claiming she set her house on fire. She didn’t. She burnt dinner and the smoke alarm went off. But Dispatch doesn’t know that obviously, and sends the 118 anyway. 

It brings Eddie right back to being a kid. Something he didn’t really need this week. 

The girl - maybe eleven - was home alone cooking breakfast for her little brother. Eggs. The eggs burnt in the pan, the smoke detector did its job, and one thing led to another. She called 9-1-1, frantic. When they arrive, she’s crying on the front lawn, arms wrapped around her little brother’s shoulders. 

By the time the 118 is ready to leave, the parents both show up. In individual cars. Bobby explains what happened, assured their kids are fine, and that the house is a little smoky, but otherwise okay. This should be a moment of relief. 

It is apparently not. 

The parents immediately burst into argument, riddled with accusations. 

“You should have been here, Sandra!”

“I asked you for one morning, John! One! You are never here!”

“One morning to get your nails done! I had a client meeting!”

“To get my nails done with my cousin I never see! And it’s Saturday! I was on Mom-duty all week!” 

Eddie has to walk away. He feels nauseated. 

“Those poor kids,” Hen exhales, seeing Eddie’s tense expression. 

“Yeah,” Eddie exhales. “Poor kids.”

🗲🗲🗲

Buck’s not going to say anything, but Eddie could use a bit of an attitude adjustment on the day they go shopping for nursery stuff. Like, okay. Buck gets it. Home Depot isn’t the most fun part of the excursion. Certainly not as fun as shopping for cute, soft baby stuff. Though, it’s not like either of them dislike this sort of thing. Buck’s pretty excited about shopping for paint under the right circumstances. And these are great circumstances! The best, even!

But Eddie is just sort of checked out before they even get in the truck. Short, clipped responses and empty stares. And, okay… Buck sort of gets it. He’s been taking over all the nursery planning entirely. Actually, all the planning. He took his clipboard mentality and steamrolled it and maybe he hasn’t given Eddie enough input. Maybe Eddie has been annoyed about this. Buck knows he can be annoying. It would be great, though, if maybe Eddie just said that. Instead of, what? Becoming completely disinterested in the process? They’re only doing this once, and Buck wants it to be memorable for both of them.

It all sort of comes to a head over paint chips.

“I think I like Salamander,” Buck says, holding a paper sample up for Eddie to see. “But should we go with something lighter? Like Cabbage Leaf?” 

And, yeah. Okay. It all sounds sort of silly. But the way Eddie sort of stares at the paint chips with dead eyes, like it couldn’t matter less? It makes Buck want to scream a little. 

“Or, you know���” Buck continues. Because he’s trying here. “There’s a more blue-green tone? Like Country Weekend?” 

“Whatever you like best, Buck,” Eddie says. 

Okay. Fuck not saying anything.

“Do you just not give a shit… Or?”

Eddie recoils a little like he’s been smacked. 

“What?” He demands. “Why the hell would you ask that?”

Oh, great. They’re arguing in front of the Behr Paint display.

“Because I’m trying to make this feel important and you aren’t giving me any energy back!” Buck sort of huffs.

[alpinelogy]

Coming off age fic

That has definitely 100% always been there

ask me about my wips based on only the google docs title

Yup, this one was totally there the whole time. Yup. Definitely

This is alternatively known as my latest attempt at saddling one of my guys with a child, and as a side hobby I do rather enjoy making Pierre suffer. And I do think I peaked with this as a wip doc title. Change my mind.

Anyway, 3k Pierresteban yapping down below the cut, starring Pierres teenage daughter as the primary instigator of anything. Also this isnt proofread asdfghj

So first of all, on Pierre's daughter cause she has already outgrown the title of The Kid. And also because I already love her and I have emotionally attached myself to her.

Anyway meet Lucille Pascale Gasly. The name is being workshopped but yes, she gets an obnoxious French name with Pierre's moms middle name thrown in there for good measure probably. The first name was largely the fist French name that I thought of that I liked so it might get changed but the spirit of the name stays. Then Pierre has his dad's name as his middle name and I wanted Lucille to have a middle name so Pascale it is. In my heart she is also the only Gasly granddaughter so she is spoiled as heck by her grandparents.

Lucille is actually sort of an accident baby. Her mom is probably some French or maybe Italian or mayhaps even Spanish actress or a model of some kind that Pierre slept with a couple times and she ended up pregnant and keeping the kid. Pierre, for once in his life, embraced the concept of being responsible and is actually a wonderful dad and his coparenting relationship with Lucille's mum is lovely. He is the main parent mostly cause A) he is technically unemployed so he has more time and B) he is the former racing driver and knows more about racing then Lucille's mum could ever so it makes sense that hes the primary custodial parent. But yes, their coparenting relationship is a textbook example of a good relationship (and also for the record its a generally well known that Pierre was never properly together with Lucille's mum. They are two mature adults who made mature decisions they considered the whole way through and not being in a relationship does not change the fact that Lucille is their kid and they care for her).

So yes, Lucille is loved and has a great relationship with both sides of her family. Which means that she is also a grade A menace, more about that later tho. Something about apples and trees idk. Pierre did not mean to be one of those dads whose kids follow in their footsteps but she did ask about racing and then wanted to try karting and the rest is history. He does however maintain that if she ever wants to change where she is going with her life she can at any point, no questions asked. Unfortunately Lucille is dedicated to the bit. And a menace on top of that.

Present day, Lucille has taken the junior formula series by storm. Other girls have made it further than she is right now, but its the sort of if she was a boy she would already probably be hailed as a generational talent thing (Pierre for his part is terrified of that prospect. Charles helps tho, both directly by being a good friend who too was once seen as a generational talent and indirectly by proving that being a generational talent isn't necessarily a curse). F1A? Easy work along with a couple other F4 series. FRECA? Done and dusted. F3? Cannot be that hard, right?

This is where Esteban comes in. Somehow after retiring he has started working with F1A and became some sort of an ambassador in higher junior formula making sure that no matter what the girls have someone to bat for the. Or something like that, its not really important, but he does have a history of being friendly towards the Alpine juniors and iirc hes one of the few drivers on record directly supporting the F1A girls so from his side of things, its not that far fetched. Alternatively, something something Susie did her thing, look I just need it for the plot okay?

And despite Lucille very much having someone in her corner, hi yes her father is a retired F1 driver as well, its not going to change just cause of that. And also, she is not even going to argue because she is hella curious about who Esteban is.

Cause here is the thing: she knows her dad and Esteban knew each other. She has seen the photos from when they were younger at grandma Pascale's place, she knows who Anthoine is and why her dad looks always slightly more scared and why he fiddles with the cross chain he wears more whenever she has to race at Spa even though they changed the circuit, and no one has gotten more than bruised there in years, decades even, and she has obviously met Charles before. Countless times. He might as well be a fifth uncle to her with how close he and Pierre are. So she is damn curious what gives about Esteban.

The fact that they were teammates makes it even more baffling. She has met Yuki plenty of times, sure she does not see him as often as Charles, but she privately suspects it has to do with the fact that Charles lives significantly closer than Yuki does. And sure Pierre's not close with his other former teammates but she has met plenty of them over the years, bottom line the year she was racing in F1A and she hung out around the F1 paddock more she said hi to most of them whenever they appeared at a GP.

Even worse, she has seen the race replays, she has watched Brazil '24 countless times, she has seen the pictures. She really wants to know what gives, he sounds like such a cool person, and her dad gets so fucking sad whenever she asks. Or whenever she wants to watch any race from 2023 or 2024, especially Brazil. She watches those on her own now, there are plenty other fun races both her and her dad can enjoy together. She is sort of insane about the rewatching races thing. They're like movies to her. Shes an F1 nerd through and through, only movies she's ever seen are either when her friends physically drag her to a cinema or its a movie her mother acted in because she is dedicated to the whole 'well if I know every single race my father ever raced in front to back back to front I should probably at least know the movies my mum acted in' bit.

So Esteban is very much a mystery. And she is nothing if not determined. And a menace, as established.

Meanwhile Pierre absolutely fucking forgets that yes. She is now in F3 racing internationally again. Right. Yeah. She will run into Esteban, its a miracle she has not run into him just yet, he works with F1A, she raced in F1A, he is aware of how much she idolizes him and maybe if he just told her that they had a falling out she would stop asking him about Esteban and stop being so curious. But he cannot bring himself to talk about Esteban, he has been putting off unpacking everything about Esteban, from start to finish, for decades. He can continue a little longer.

And then he rocks up to Albert Park for the first race of the season, where F3 is one of the supporting series. Lucille disappears somewhere into the F3 end of the paddock immediately, Pierre takes the long tour around to say hi to the people in the F1 paddock. Its a habit he developed two years back when Lucille was racing in F1A, he is a rich unemployed father, of course he will show up to most if not all of her races and he might as well say hi to his friends along the way. Charles definitely probably still hangs around in some capacity I fully believe.

And by the time he gets all the way to the F3 paddock, Lucille is back to being a bit of a menace to the entire crew (an affectionate menace, to be said. She may be a lot but she also has manners. Her mum made sure of that. And Pierre helped as well. Probably), and Esteban. And thats where Pierre starts suffering and he does not stop suffering for the rest of the season.

In hindsight, it makes sense Lucille already met Esteban, they do a shit ton of testing in junior series before even the first race weekend, and Esteban is more or less meant to be her mentor, of course he would be there for all the testing. That does not mean he actually thought about it until he has been confronted with the reality that yes, this is actually happening.

Because he is an engaged dad, he is unemployed and does not need to be employed for several lives probably so he can and he will go to as many of Lucille's races as possible or until she kicks him out. But now he gets front row tickets to the fact that the one person Pierre is sort of hung up on - romantically or otherwise - has taken his daughter under his wing and that she is adopting some of his mannerisms and especially driving quirks. He knows she took this corner that way because thats how he saw Esteban take it. Hes seen the telemetry when they were teammates, he is allowed to peek at Lucille's telemetry as well, it is very close considering this is a different series decades later.

And he knows that she takes after him a lot in driving, but she is still developing at a rapid pace, Esteban's advice still has a profound impact that cannot be understated. So he gets to spend the entire damn season watching Lucille sort of become a blend of his and Esteban's approach to driving. And it hurts. A lot. He cannot stop he, he shouldn't stop her from driving, and he is still immensely proud of her, but at the same time there is a slight pain in his chest when he sees her race that wasn't there in the previous years.

As for Esteban, he is sort of. Weird about the whole thing as well, though he is much better at not letting it show. It felt bittersweet, when he realized that there is another tiny Gasly running around first karting races and then later single seater races. Maybe he even avoided the F1A paddock more than usual the year Lucille was competing in that series. But he also has a job to do and he has processed most of his feelings on his and Pierre's falling out, whats done is done, there is no point in dwelling on it.

So he has moved on, and when during testing he meets Lucille for the first time, she does have a lot of Pierre's personality traits, both cause she is his daughter and cause he is the primary parent. She is loud and brash and friendly, always down to something slightly unhinged, but she also can be serious and thoughtful if she tried. Which is not to say Pierre was not serious and thoughtful, but there is a distinct difference to the way Pierre was when he was serious and the way Lucille is when she is serious.

It sort of hurts to how she immediately clicks with her new teammates, how it only takes a few minutes before she pulls out her phone to show off the cats that hang around her mums villa in southern Italy because that is so reminiscent of Pierre and his easy friendships, but its fine. He gets a little misty eyed when he remembers how he, Pierre, Charles, and Anthoine were at that age but he shakes it off rather quickly. Its in the past now.

And over time, as he sees her drive its yeah. She has some of Pierre's mannerisms and she is so obviously his child, but she is equally as obviously not him. Maybe there is something in him that pushes him a little bit more than usual to make sure she succeeds, but at the end of the day, she is a firecracker and she works so hard on her own, never riding on her fathers coattails, she can and she will fight for her own success on her own with her own skills and abilities. And Esteban will do his best to be sure she makes it because thats what he does, thats what he went and decided to do after he retired, thats what he enjoys, seeing the next generation succeed with more ease than he did, with less pain and heartbreak along the way.

(He probably regularly gets invited to non single-seater races as well by the kids that he once mentored. It is one of his favorite things, seeing his kids succeed)

Sure, he is a bit miffed at first about Lucille asking so much about him, for fucks sake she is Pierre's daughter and Pierre has never stopped talking about Esteban at least to the media but then he does answer some of her questions and it sort of occurs to him whats going on. He has been fairly over the falling out for years, longer than either of them have been retired, and its still hard for him to talk about it in private, much less to someone like Lucille, who is so close to the whole thing, it must be even worse for Pierre. Esteban is not stupid, he is fully aware that Pierre is nowhere as over the whole thing as he is.

So he does tell Lucille the broad strokes of the story and when she admits that her dad does not like talking about it and that he gets sad when they watch races from when he and Esteban were teammates, he ruffles her hair maybe because he always inevitably gets attached to the kids he is in charge of, an older brother sort of feeling, and they move onto car setup and how to best drive around the circuit. More neutral terms.

And the season goes on. Lucille is good. Really good. And it cannot be chalked up to the way the team set up the car, her teammates are doing okay but nowhere near as good as Lucille is. I am absolutely giving her Hungary and Monza as a win, Pierre probably sheds a couple tears when he watches her on the podium as La Marseillaise plays. And this is just F3. He will be bawling when she wins her first F1 race. No one told him being a father would be like this the universe is out to get him he is convinced.

Esteban too, gets maybe slightly more attached to Lucille than he does to the other kids. He does his best to keep his own feelings out of his work, but sometimes they slip through and sometimes, though more and more rarely as the season goes on, he thinks he maybe does it for the kids that he and Pierre once were, but this slowly becomes more and more rare.

And honestly, I've sort of lost the track of plot here, but at some point Pierre probably realizes that he and Esteban cannot go on like this again. Seeing each other so often, working towards the same goal, and still ignoring each other.

Therefore, at some point, I'm thinking lowkey after Hungary maybe, or during the Hungary race week (the second to last race week of the 2025 calendar for reference, Monza is last), that could be fun, Pierre decides to end this weird non armistice. Hungary if there is one last plot thread to be resolved, Monza if I just wanna end with this. Lucille wins the F3 championship, probably, Pierre finally stops his last little bits of denial that yeah, she is staying here, racing is what she wants in her future, he has to stop the denialism. That could probably be tied into the whole proper peace not an tentative armistice thing. Like I said. I lose the plot in the middle, but the F3 season is ten race weekends next year, so there is not that much time to make plot happen anyway lol.

But yes thats how it ends, probably. Or at least that's the end I imagine for now but its very much stc. They cannot start over, not fully, they have too much history for that, but at the same time they have not seen each other for over a decade, did not exchange a single word. They have changed, grown up, no longer the teenage boys they were when they fell out, nor the adults that forged a tentative friendship that got unceremoniously broken the moment Alpine dropped Esteban, they are both adults, proper ones this time, both role models to the new generation, they should man up and ignoring their feelings, especially Pierre.

Lucille of course also slowly matures throughout the fic. I'm strongly debating if its gonna be from her pov or from Pierre's. I'm leaning towards Pierre just cause most of the fic is about him, and how Lucille is lowkey on some days smarter and more emotionally mature than him, for being in the kids barely finish highschool here sport she is surprisingly smart and adult about a lot of things. Maybe an unfortunate sideffect of growing up with separated parents. But yes, Lucille at the end of the day is 16 turning 17 in the fic probably, she is going through a lot as well, she should have a little bit of a coming of age growing up as well 🙂‍↕️

(Another reason why Pierre isn't big on how fast she's progressing through the ranks -- shes still young and while hes probably not like a massively involved with anything like this, he still was over 20 when he got into F1 and its probably a good thing that he was this old)

Extra stupid thing I just thought of: the team in F1A that sponsored Lucille is Ferrari, and even though her mum is Italian and she has Italian citizenship and could in theory race under the Italian flag she refuses and is annoying and French about it. Alternatively Renaults back baby and more French than ever.

Also yes, as a short person I have decided to curse Lucille with being short as well. Shorter people have closer to hell or something, thats why she is such a menace.

Hopefully this made some semblance of sense, I did not mean for this to take several hours to write and to wite 3k words. Yeah. Yeah... I will just end the yapping with this

[middleearthpixie]

Better Days ~ Chapter Twenty-Three

Summary: Frerin Durin had the perfect life, until he found out his wife was cheating on him. Now, he’s navigating uncharted territory as an about-to-be divorced single dad. Dating is a mess, he’s dealing with the fallout where his kids are concerned, and really, he would just love a vacation away from all of it. 

Elena Madison is new to Sidleburg, and also navigating life as a newly single parent. The last thing she needed was for her daughter to come down sick, when she hasn’t even had time to unpack the moving boxes, never mind find a pediatrician. And the last thing she ever expected was to meet a man like Dr. Frerin Durin…

Neither Elena nor Frerin were looking for anything, but fate has a way of messing up even the best laid plans. However, both have been hurt and both aren't at all sure they trust themselves, never mind trusting someone else...

Pairings:  Modern!Frerin x ofc Elena Madison

Warnings: None

Rating: T

Word Count: 2.7k

Read on AO3

Elena thought she might hear from Frerin sometime the next day, but that didn't happen. She thought about calling him, but talked herself out of it each time. His family wasn't hers. She had no right to barge in on their trauma as if she belonged there. He would call her when he was good and ready and she just had to accept that. 

Which was something she tried really hard to convince herself. Even so, her mood was grayer than it should have been as she waited at Newark Airport for Alyssa to come down the jetway. 

“Mommy!” Alyssa’s voice rang out through the terminal, as loud and boisterous as ever, and she bounded toward Elena to throw her arms around her neck like it had been years since Alyssa had gone.

Elena stepped back, smiling at the sight of her suntanned daughter, who looked far healthier than she had when she left for Florida. “Well, I guess you are definitely feeling better.”

“I am. It’s amazing was a little sunshine and beach will do for you.” Alyssa slung her backpack over her left shoulder. “Now, just keep your fingers crossed that my luggage made its way home as well.”

Thankfully, her large black wheelie (the handle tied with a scarlet satin ribbon for easy identification) had made it home, and so a little more than an hour after Alyssa’s plane had touched down, they were in the car, on their way home, and Alyssa was already complaining about the cold.

When she finished, she said, “Well, at least the snow is pretty. I hate that I missed a snowy Christmas break . We could’ve done something fun, like go skiing.”

“You don’t like to ski, remember? And besides, you had a good time, you got spoiled rotten by your grandparents, and you have a tan. I think that’s a fair trade.”

“Maybe.” Alyssa leaned forward to change the radio station from Classic Rewind to Octane. “So, how is Dr. Hottie? Did you behave while I gone?”

Elena chuckled. “Yes, Mom.” 

“Are you used to the beard yet?”

“Alyssa!” Elena couldn't hold back her laughter.

“What? I’m curious.”

“Don’t you worry about it.” Elena shook her head, checking the side mirror before switching lanes. “But, yes, I’m used to.”

“I knew it. So, are you seeing him tonight, since it’s your last night of freedom?”

“Not tonight.” 

“Let me guess, you two just were inseparable all week. Like, I’ll bet there was a montage of all the things you guys did while I was gone, like in the movies? With like a stupid Herman’s Hermits song playing throughout, like in that old Leslie Nielsen movie you showed me last summer.”

“Not quite.” Elena sighed softly. “But, I don’t know when I will be seeing him.”

“Oh, no. Mom, that sounds so ominous. What happened?”

“Just a family thing.”

“A family thing?”

“Yes, Miss Nosy,” Elena grinned at her, “a family thing.”

“Is he married? Mom, are you fooling around with a married man?”

“He’s not married, technically.”

“Technically?”

Elena could practically hear Alyssa’s raised eyebrow and she chuckled as she nodded. “Yes, technically. He’s in the process of divorcing his wife. So not married, but not unmarried, either.”

“Scandalous.”

“Hardly. Now, tell me about what all you did in Florida…”

****

If the day before a vacation was a long, rough one, that was nothing like the first day back from it. Elena sat back in her chair as her period seven class filed in, all looking the way she felt—about done in. 

“Hey, Ms Madison,” Ashleigh Brenner greeted her as she slipped into her chair at table in front of Elena’s desk.

“Hi, Ashleigh. How was your break?”

“Not nearly long enough.”

“I feel that.” Elena pushed back her chair and stood as the rest of the class filed. “Welcome back, everyone. I know how you’ve missed being here.”

“Damn it,” Lindsey Keller blurted, dropping her Chromebook onto the table next to Ashleigh’s machine, “I forgot my paper, Ms Madison.”

“I expected there would be a few people who might not remember,” Elena told her, “so I’m pushing the deadline to tomorrow.”

With that, she picked up a blue Expo dry erase marker and at the top left side of the white board at the front of the classroom, she wrote the new due date, and as everyone else took their seats, said, “I hope everyone had a restful break. As you can see, I pushed the date back to tomorrow, so make sure you bring in your research papers because any that aren’t turned in tomorrow, I will still accept late, but you will be marked down half a grade for every day.”

“What?” Sadiya Hartwell asked.

“If you hand it in tomorrow, you’ll get starting grade of full credit, which may or may not come down depending how you’ve done on it. But, if you forget tomorrow, and bring it on Thursday, you will start out with a ninety-five and I’ll grade it from there. If you bring it in on Friday, you start with a ninety, and so on and so on.”

There were a few expected grumbles, but that was it, and as she moved toward the center of the whiteboard, she said, “So, we’ve wrapped up our segment on the American Revolution and move into the ratification of the United States Constitution and the election of 1800. Then we will move into the Era of Good Feelings and then Jacksonian politics and how the election of 1824 led to the Second Party System.”

“When are we going to get to the Civil War?”

“Not for a little while yet. Probably by the end of the month, maybe first week of February, Brayden. We will spend a couple of weeks talking about it, and then move through Reconstruction. So, let’s get started. Does anyone know when the United States Constitution was ratified and which state was the first to do so?”

****

“Dr. Durin?”

Frerin turned away from the Keurig, peering over his shoulder. “What is it, Katie?”

“Dr. Reese is looking for you.”

“Did you tell him where I was?”

She winced and nodded. “Yeah. Was I not supposed to?”

“No, it’s fine. Where is he?”

“He said he had to scrub in on a lap-chole at ten, but that he’d be in his office otherwise.”

Frerin glanced down at his watch. “If I milk fixing this coffee I can avoid—”

“Avoiding me, Frerin?”

 “Not at all, Jay.” He forced a smile he didn't really feel to his lips as he lifted his cup from the Keurig’s tray and turned to face Reese. “What did you need me for?”

“I wanted to talk to you about the pedes ER. You have a minute?” Jay Reese smiled at Katie. “Unless I’m interrupting something?”

“I was just leaving,” Katie replied dryly, rolling her eyes as Reese brushed by her to come into the lounge. Normally, Frerin would just use the Keurig in his office, but he’d been called down to the ER for a consult and halfway up realized he’d left his coffee cup in the ER’s doctors’ lounge. That meant he had to scrounge a cup from the lounge near his office and hope that his remained untouched downstairs.

“She’s cute,” Reese remarked as the lounge door swung closed. 

Although he secretly agreed, Frerin rolled his eyes just the same. “She’s too young for you and you’re too married for her.”

“Too married. Is that even a thing?”

“Did you want to talk to me or flirt with my secretary?”

“Christ, you’re touchy today.”

“I’ve been under more stress than usual these days.” Frerin lifted his cup to his lips for a sip. French vanilla. Not his favorite but it was caffeinated and that trumped flavor today. 

“How’s your boy doing?”

“He’s doing well. Naismith is discharging him on Friday and he’ll do a six week outpatient program through Gen-Psych.”

“Yeah? They’re good. They really helped Tiff a few years ago.”

“They did?”

Reese nodded, moving to the cabinet to take down a mug for himself. “Yeah. I didn't broadcast it to the hospital, but she spent time there and at Wakeman. They do good work.”

“I hope so. I don't think I can do another week like this last one.” Frerin sank into one of the mismatched chairs around the table in the middle of the lounge. “This place is almost as much of a dump as the ER lounge.”

“Well, the ER is were the derelicts all end up, so no surprise there.” Reese slid a K-cup into the machine and set his cup on the tray, then pressed brew. “No offense to you, of course.”

“Well, considering you keep sending me there…” Frerin set his cup down. “But, they’re good docs down there. You wouldn’t last a week in the ER and we both know it.”

“I did my time in the trenches.”

“You were never an ER doc.”

“No, but I’ve covered.”

“I hate to break it to you, but one ER shift every ten years does not count.”

Reese chuckled. “I’m glad you feel at home enough to defend those burnouts, considering you’ll be joining them in a few weeks.”

“What?”

Reese joined him at the table, tugging out another chair to sink into. “Yeah. Where else would we put a pediatric ER?”

“Wait… you mean… you’re signing off on it? But I haven’t even sent out a single grant application. I don't even have a list of foundations to hit up.”

“I know, but Danielle somehow found out about the idea and she thinks it’s a good one and fortunately for you, her daddy has really deep pockets. So, go down there, let me know exactly what you need and put in the requisitions and work orders and we’ll get started.”

Frerin smiled. “I knew I liked your wife for a reason.”

Reese chuckled. “And that’s why I’ll never go beyond flirting with your hot secretary. If Daddy Warbucks ever caught me giving it to anyone other than Danielle, I’d be sleeping in my Beemer.”

“You’re too old for Katie anyway and she’s seeing a pro hockey player, so I’m gonna go out on a limb and suggest you’re really not her type anyway.”

Reese chuckled. “She’s also two years younger than my daughter. It would be too creepy outside of my imagination.”

“It’s too creepy within the confines of your imagination as well.” Frerin reached for his coffee. “So, when you think we can get this up and running by?”

“Spring at the latest, if all goes well. The board will approve it, and they’ll approve you being charge of it. Once we get everything signed off, I’ll expect a list of possible employees and if you go outside the hospital, we’ll need to get them vetted.”

“I’ll draw up a list in the next week or two and we what we need downstairs.” 

“Good. And this coffee sucks, by the way.” Reese rose and moved to the door, where he paused. “Hey, did you ever hook up with your gorgeous brunette?”

Frerin couldn't help his grin. “Yeah, I did.”

“Good. I’ll see you.”

“See you later.” 

As the door to the lounge closed, Frerin finished his coffee and sat back as a feeling of triumph washed over him. He had never thought Reese’s wife might be the savior to getting a pediatric ER set up, but now what had been more fantasy than reality was really going to happen and it was the best news he’d had in weeks. 

Without thinking, he picked up his cell phone from where it lay on the table and toggled to contacts, where he scrolled down to Elena. He hesitated for a moment, since he hadn’t talked to her since the night of Jake’s suicide attempt, and while he’d hoped she’d understood, he had no way of knowing for sure. Still, he’d risk it and there was only one way to find out. It was after three now, so she should be finished with her last class.

With that, he tapped on her phone number and tried to ignore how his heart sped up as he waited for her to answer. 

One ring. 

Two. 

“Hi, Frerin.”

He almost groaned at the heat that swept through him at the mere sound of her voice. “Hi, Elena. Are you busy?”

“No. My last class ended about ten minutes ago. What’s up? How’s Jake doing?”

“He’s doing well, actually. His doc thinks he’ll be discharged at the end of the week and then he’ll do a six-week outpatient program at Gen-Psych.”

“That’s wonderful news! Although, I confess, I don’t know what Gen-Psych is, exactly.”

“It’s a program that will involve basically helping him learn to cope with stressors so we hopefully don't find ourselves back at ground zero again. They’ll tutor him so he doesn’t fall behind on schoolwork and if he’s doing well, when it’s over, he’ll be back in school with his friends again.”

“Oh, that would be fantastic,” she replied and he could almost hear the smile in her voice. “You and his mother must be thrilled.”

“I am, but I neither know nor care if she is.”

“Uh-oh… what happened?”

“I’ll tell you when I see you.” He hesitated. “I mean, if you want to see me, since I basically went MIA on you.”

“You didn't go MIA, Frerin. You had a family emergency and your kids—especially Jake at the moment—come before me any time.”

He couldn’t help his smile. “I confess, I thought you might be pissed off at me.”

“I might, if it was anything other than one of your kids. Especially considering these circumstances. I didn't want to butt in, so I figured I’d give you your space and you’d call me when you were ready. It’s all good.”

“I’d like to see you later. Are you free?”

“What’s later?”

“I’m on until seven. I’ll leave here and head over to Wakeman until eight. Could I swing by after?”

“And what about Maura and Flynn?”

“I can drop them at home first.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” He chuckled softly. “But that’s not the only reason I’m calling. I just… I got some great news and wanted to share it with somebody and you were the first somebody I thought of, so…”

“I—I was?”

“Yeah. Why do you sound so surprised?”

“Because I am surprised, that’s why.” 

“The Pediatric ER is a go.”

“You got the funding?”

“I got the funding. Seems my chief of staff’s wife loved the idea. And since she comes from a family with more money than they know what to do with, I’m getting my pet project. I’ll need to find a few more hours each day, and hopefully the kids won’t suffer too much as a result, but when all is said and done, Sidleburg Memorial will have a pediatric ER.” 

“That is fantastic, Frerin. And I wouldn’t worry if I was you. I think they’ll understand. Especially when you tell them this has been your passion project.”

“We shall see. I can hold off telling Jake until he’s more settled, but the other two can know now.”

“I’m really happy for you, Frerin. Really. I think it’s wonderful.”

“Thanks, Lena. I’m feeling pretty good, myself.”

The lounge door opened and Katie poked her head in. “Dr. Durin? They need you in the ER again.”

He sat up and nodded, shifting the phone to whisper, “I’ll be right there.” Then, as Katie backed out of the lounge, he said, “I’ve got to go, Lena. They need me in the ER again. Fourth time in the last three hours.”

“It’s the universe telling you that’s where you’re really needed,” she replied with a hint of a laugh.

“Probably. Okay, so I’ll see you later? You sure nine’s not too late?”

“It’s fine, Frerin. Promise.”

“Okay. I’ll see you then.”

“Bye, Frerin.”

He clicked off the call and stood, pushing his chair in with his left hip. He swept up his stethoscope (hot pink, thanks to Jerry, the clerk who handled requisitions for the ER) to drape about his neck, then hurried out to the elevator banks to go down to the ER, his spirits higher than they had been in weeks. 

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[crushedsweets]

Hello! I hope you are well!

Do you think it’s possible for you to go into Jeff and Nina’s relationship please? Like are they together or is like Jeff taking advantage of Nina liking him so much?

Sorry if you’ve already done this! I love your writing, you’re so talented 🕸️ x

its actually crazy to me that i havent actually written a thing about jeff and nina oh my god. thank you by the way you are so sweet. of course tw for manipulation, abuse, etc

OK BACKSTORY

nina is a year or two younger than jeff, and was only around 12-13 when she found out about jeffs murders and rampages. since she was like 7, she was always obsessed with horror movies, gore, eventually true crime and stuff . . just awful things that kids shouldnt have access to but thats what the internet does

she started behaving incredibly weird after her obsession with jeff began (though she was always odd). just really creepy true crime fan behavior in school, acted completely rebelious and eventually cut a shallow smile into her cheeks. her parents were livid and sent her to her to live with her grandparents in Mississippi.

eventually she realized jeffs brother moved to alabama, a state away. she was 18, at the lowest point in her life, and there was now speculation that jeff died after his most recent murder in the arkensaw household in tuscaloosa, alabama.

SO SHE MOVED. stole a ton of money and jewlery and stuff from her grandparents, barely managed to secure a dingy apartment in tuscaloosa, and she went On The Hunt.

she's constantly spamming fangirl rhetoric on creepy forums and catches jeffs eye. dunno exactly how, but he ends up meeting up with her, where he realizes she was just. perfect ? like, he found her annoying from the getgo and knew she was a weirdo, but he knew how easy she'd perfect to manipulate, how much shit he could get from her, and she immediately was like 'COME HOME WITH ME ILL MAKE U DINNER' . so he does. theyre about 19-20 here.

okACTUAL RELATIONSHIP

they never actually date in the traditional sense. neither of them asked the other out, jeff doesnt even touch her if he doesn't have to. he does not love her. but nina truly, fully, completely believes they're together. she swaps between calling him her boyfriend and fiance. she tells all her coworkers about how 'oh my boyfriend finally proposed! im engaged guys!' and 'ohh we're thinking about kids..!! he said he wants a girl:)' and all of that. which its all lies, she just lies and lies and lies all the damn time about how great jeff treats her and how in love they are. she does it to all the other creeps too for a period of time, telling toby and nat about how kind jeff is to her and they know shes lying.

jeffs not really mean to her most of the time. she'll make him food, do his laundry, she's lied to the police for him, she's probably been an accessory to murder ... definitely actually since she's cleaning and bleaching his bloody clothes... so he's Nice (?)

by nice i mean like. he'll let her sit and rest her head on his shoulder, let her hold his hand, let her say she loves him. he'll joke with her sometimes, play video games with her, bring her on walks or whatever. wore a bracelet she made for him once. (emphasis on once). he tells her she's pretty if she asks

but again, he's using her - just for a place to stay, some extra money, and he'll even send her on runs to go get weed or something from dealers that give discounts to pretty girls. he won't hug her, won't buy her things, won't help clean up, etc.

NONE OF THIS IS SHIPPING OR ROMANTIC LIKE ITS ALL REALLY SAD AND HORRIBLE. most of the creeps are inherently violent, half are murderers, almost none have any emotional regulation . . theyre just very . yeah.

which is why eventually, he kinda like, loses his shit - he starts screaming about how she's a dumbass who threw her life away for him, how he doesnt give a shit about her, he's shoving chairs around, knocking things off tables. eventually he stabs her, once in the side of her stomach, and leaves.

nina knows jane from the other creeps and calls her as she's frantically trying to fix her own wound, and jane swiftly gets her. jane doesnt like her but jane has morals and knows jeffs mistreating nina - but ninas losing her shit when jane mentions a hospital and refuses to go to the ER, so she ends up in jack's cabin getting stitched up.

theyre all kinda shocked that jeff didnt just kill her. its real weird for him to stab her once and leave, but jeff knew how far ninas devotion went and completely expected her to grovel at his feet and beg for forgiveness, and now he can continue using her just like before . but nina twisted it in her head and convinced herself 'oh its because he loves me! he didnt kill me because he loves me! BUT HE'S MAD AT ME AND I CAN'T FIND HIM AND WHAT IF HE'S WITH SOME OTHER GIRL I NEED TO FIX THIS' but literally nobody wants to help her 'get back' with him because like ...... why would they ?????

so she gets onto whitepages, finds liu, and ends up on his doorstep.

that's where my drawing of her crying on lius kitchen floor comes from

ive kinda hit a point in the story where like... this part is the 'current' plot ??? like this is where we are at in this very moment . so i have nothing concrete for the future...

but overall she does get over him, thats probably where ill put more emphasis on her friendship with nat/toby and her eventual little sister type relationship with liu... i just need to figure out how to do that without it coming off as like 'and she went to therapy and everything was fine !^_^'

i want jeff ... to be... vbery miserab;e....... basically.

[deepdeanvsweston]

Margaret Dolliswood Headcanons? (Thanks for doing the elizabeth one)

That's perfectly ok anon!!! Thankyou for sending it in!!!

Also I know this looks like just. a massive essay but I SWEAR it all relates and is relevant and the hcs are at the bottom!!!

Ok so her motive to kill Elizabeth was that she was a lesbian in love with Astrid Frith and Elizabeth knew this. Which I think is very interesting, considering the the stigma around lesbianism at the time, and also as seen explicitly in the books where Clementine says something along the lines of "something goes wrong in their brains" (I can't quite remember the line) when Margaret's secret comes out.

We of course don't know what was canonically happening between the Five and Elizabeth, if she was abusing them about their secrets, or simply holding them as leverage, but I do often wonder why in Margaret's case, Elizabeth wasn't afraid or disgusted of her, on page at least, because she was a lesbian - as again Clementine says "it's all the same to them" referencing how being hit or being affectionately touched is the same to a lesbian. Obviously they're all so close knit because if 1 secret gets out they all do, but I think a throwaway line in JFP like "none of the Five went near Margaret much" would have cemented the stigma.

BUT. There isn't a line like that!!! And I personally think it would have been fairly easy for the most of the Five to just ostracise Margaret, without fear of their secrets coming out as any credibility she might have had in revealing other people's secrets would have been lost completely because she was a lesbian AND THE fact that most of the Five's secrets don't much have real life consequences, if that makes sense? For example, if Florence's secret got out (which it did, but I'm referring to before E.H was killed) it would have been devastating for her and her family but not put perhaps their lives at risk. HOWEVER note I say most of the Five, because of course Una Dichmann was trying to get her Jewish grandparents out from nazi Germany which very much is a real life consequence that could put lives at risk. So imo Una and Margaret would have bonded out of sheer necessity because if Margaret was ostracised (as previously mentioned I think she'd be the most easy to) and revealed everyone's secrets, then Una's would be the one with actual danger of harm. So Una goes out of her way to cement a friendship or at the very least an alliance with Margaret to avoid this liklihood.

Ok so onto ACTUAL hcs now sorry anon

- I can't find a description of her on the wiki and I don't have my book on me so I think she has pin straight auburn hair with freckles that she hates (Astrid ADORES them tho)

- she used to be the prankster of her year, always pulling tricks on the teachers and during assemblies and creating mischief on exeat weekends

- she is always trying to put the attention away from her with all her tricks, but also desperately wants the attention

- she is the Eldest Daughter, with 3 sisters aged 3, 4, and 5 so there is an age gap

- her parents aren't cruel, not in any way, and do love her to bits, but with 4 other children they have grown a bit fatigued of parenting and so it lands on her a lot to be like 'oh I love your drawing!' 'i can take you to the loo! 'come here, your ribbon is all messed up'

- and of course as Eldest Daughter, she is expected to pave the way for her sisters, securing herself a decent husband etc etc.

- and she's actually happy with this!!! She's stuck in comphet but she thinks she's happy! Of course ALL girls stare at each other's legs in their gym kits!!!

- but then. She meets Astrid, a new student from Denmark who arrives in the last term of fourth form, and everything turns on its head

- Margaret honest to god genuinely thinks she's allergic to Astrid, or at least her perfume or detergent or something

- why does she keep having hot flushes? And butterflies in her stomach? And why does she lean forward every time Astrid goes to say something?

- Margaret realises she's a lesbian after several dreams about her and Astrid

- and her whole prankster thing changes. She becomes a model student, perfectly presentable, hw handed perfectly because she doesn't want the attention anymore. Attention means people look closer.

- one step out of line and she fears everything she has will fall to pieces because of Astrid

- they are friends at this point and through several tense moments during the summer hols before sixth form, they end up together

- and then the events of Jolly Foul Play happen and her secret comes out

- and that happens in like Sept - Nov so she still has a whole year of ridicule to go

- her parents are essentially embarrassed and ashamed of her but don't pull her out of school as they feel it's the one thing that could change her back to 'normal', and really push her into school work. And anyway

- Astrid's parents immediately pull her back to Denmark and ban any contact

- and that's almost that.

- 17 years later they find each other and buy a house by the sea. It's only ever been them for each other, anyway.

- as for the war, I'd imagine Margaret joins the WRNS (Woman's Royal Naval Service) and Astrid does something in communications (???)

- Margaret and Una, after everything, become actually close friends, and they'd both give their lives for each other given the need. I like to think their friendship becomes DaisyandHazel-esque in nature

[milf-lover42]

I've been thinking about Georgina Orwell an alarming amount this past week but I think I've exhausted all the good fan content out there 💔, tumblr posts, fanfics, hell even whatever pinterest gave me has run dry. I'm sad, I'm contentless, and I'm shamefully in love with Georgina Orwell.

That was longer than I thought itd be but basically the point is that if you have any advice for where to look next then I will take it, and if not then I am humbly asking you for any headcanons or anything you have 🙏

THANK YOUUU SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG!! YOU HAVE WONDERFUL TASTE IN WOMEN!!!

Dear anon I am so so unbelievably sorry for the time it has taken to get to you. I, an Esmé kinner, and my partner, a Georgina kinner, think about this ask every day and have been dying to answer you. Life has just been all over the place.

I would say that these headcanons are just that, and if you disagree then that’s fine, but truthfully I think of what we have come up with over the years as the real and actual truth and canon of the series. With that in mind! Here you go, I hope you enjoy!

Lore headcanons

First and foremost!

No matter the version, book, show, or continuation of the movie that never happened… Georgina survived her “death” at the Mill. In show canon, obviously there’s just an escape chute in the furnace, easy peasy, everyone has said this.

In book canon… yeah okay sure she tripped and was sawed in half at the mill. However, that woman has surely seen an Alice Cooper concert and knows how to fake a gory death live. She probably taught him how to do it to be honest.

So. She lives through Miserable Mill no matter the version. That woman is unkillable.

Georgina’s family is Old VFD. Like the Orwells were founding members type shit. Maybe it was her parents, maybe her grandparents or further, but either way, she was raised knowing everything. She was one of few members capable of learning about VFD and its inner workings from her own family - long before they died. She is the last keeper of every secret. She knows more things about the history of the organization than most of the sugarbowl gen can even begin to piece together. If VFD had nuclear weapons, Georgina Orwell would be the only one left who knew the codes, and that includes the Sinister Duo. Because of this, she’s very disconnected from the other members that we know of because they just don’t know about the truly dark information that VFD has kept secret from itself. She is technically still VFD, and in her earlier life was a dedicated member in some capacity, but she has no strong allegiance to it aside from her secret keeping (though that is more familial allegiance) when the SBG undergoes their schism.

Characteristic headcanons

BOTH of her knees are bad, that’s why she carries a cane. She doesn’t always need it (see: how often she simply holds it instead of actually placing it on the ground in the show), the pain flares up at different intervals and usually only in one leg at a time, but she always carries one A) because it is her sword and B) because that way no one can ever tell if it’s a good or bad day for her as far as knee pain goes.

She takes her coffee with no creamer, but does use sugar. It just varies in quantity per day. NEVER creamer or milk. Also is totally someone that’s a “don’t talk to me before my morning coffee” person. She doesn’t ever say this, she doesn’t have a nonsense mug that says it. However, if you try to speak to her before her coffee she will simply ignore you. She doesn’t get mad or glare or anything. She just… does not care until she’s had coffee. So it’s best to just wait because you won’t get anything out of her until then.

Tea she takes plain, nothing in it, no milk, no sugar, no lemon, nothing. Just. Tea. She isn’t a tea snob by any means, she will drink any tea she is given. If it’s bad tea she’ll just think that it wasn’t great, could be improved, but will take NO steps to improve it herself. She doesn’t even look at what type she is buying and she has no favorites. She likes tea enough to buy and make it but she literally does not care enough to select one. She just picks one at random every single time. She has had some truly horrible teas in her time without complaining or changing her habits once.

If you ask her what matcha is she will have NO idea what the fuck you are talking about.

Thank you so much for the ask, I love talking about my wife. I have so many more headcanons but pretty much all of them revolve around the idea that she and Esmé are together pre and post series (I am writing a fic slowly but surely to better explain this dynamic) and that they adopt Carmelita after the hotel. In the case that you are not an Eswell shipper I am keeping them to myself for the time being, but should you want that specific Georgina content I am more than happy to oblige! Just shoot me another ask and I will begin to compile it for you.

[thecallofthecrow]

Happy Imbolc and Welcome to My Tumblr!

Hi, my name is Kuro. I'm a Pagan/Witch/Somewhere in that realm who has been practicing Witchcraft since the 8th grade. This seems like something someone really edgy would say, and it's gonna be worse when you learn which Goddess I worship and call "My Matron."

The Morrigan, by the way. The Morrigan chose me, and as Izzy of The Morrigan's Oracle has said, she likes to weave a story. So before we go into the FAQ/Strawman Argument section, let's go into my history.

Why Witchcraft?

In the time I converted to Wicca (I don't really count myself as Wiccan anymore as I don't ft the mold perfectly so I go with the more "Pagan" overview) I was undergoing a lot of pressure. I had just gotten out of a dangerous situation at home, living with people who cared for me, and wanted me to explore my life and what I wanted for myself.

I was also in a very abusive and manipulative relationship at said time, so I was looking for help in all the places I could. I was relaxing at my local library down the street from my school, and exploring the various aisles of books as I tended to do. The library, after all, was my favorite place on the planet. I've always been a reader - and still am to this day - so fate aligned and in a little small town in a very Christian and conservative area, I stumbled upon a book.

This singular book, "Wicca: The Complete Craft" by D.J. Conway came into my hands like fate screeching into my body full force. I had been raised Catholic, but at the time was non-practicing. However, I have always been very open minded. So with this interesting book, and a lot of time to kill, I sat down and began reading its pages with great interest as to what it had to say.

Needless to say, something connected. The open feeling I felt reading the contents of Conway's book filled me with such interest that I then checked that book out and went home to read it.

My Grandparents weren't thrilled. I don't actually know their religious backing, as they were non-practicing and never went to Church. Same for my Dad, he didn't practice actively either, and I wasn't in much contact with him at the time because he was going through his own journey at the time and we didn't intersect much. However, no one stopped me from delving into the pages of this interesting book.

I understand not everyone is lucky enough to have been given this luxury. Had my family been more fanatical, or practicing Christians, or less open minded, I probably would have been forced to return the book and never bring it into the house again. However, that was not the case.

To make a long story short, I converted to Wicca. I kept myself in the broom closet for a long time, before finally revealing at one point to my Grandparents,

"Grandma, Grandpa, I'm a Wiccan now."

They didn't really question me. I think they thought I was going through a phase and this would end. Well, here we are at age 30 worshipping the Morrigan and about to do an Imbolc ritual this very nice, with offerings lined up to go and plans made. I have an Oracle and Tarot deck (having bought my first tarot deck legit yesterday and the Oracle deck years ago now). I have an entire altar now.

This doesn't mean the journey was easy. I posted a Facebook post at one point revealing this factoid of mine, my transformational journey, and my Dad saw it. Pardon my sailor mouth, but he flipped the fuck out.

He came storming over to the house and yelled at me for like, two hours for not asking him for guidance to find the love of Jesus again, for not asking him to take me to church and see the love of HIS god. He was very disappointed in me. The argument devolved, as it always does, into him screaming at me and me calmly responding with reasonable arguments, and then after he left me crying my eyes out because all I've ever wanted was for him to love me. A bit TMI, I know, but I guess Daddy issues are common in this community from what have understood over the years.

But, I did not let it deter me from my craft. I continued working with my Gods and Goddesses, primarily with - who I thought was - Artemis, who turned out to be the Morrigan but we'll get into that when we get to more recent stuff.

I would commune with her when I had time to kill, pray to her, do altar work with her. Some of my school friends, through middle and high school, also converted over. One of these "friends" who we won't get into stole my pentacle necklace, my prized, blessed possession and one way of expressing my faith and beliefs. He would later, in high school, be told to take it off during class because it was "a gang symbol." Even though he was an awful friend who - in the end - got what was coming to him, I was angry on his behalf.

Justice is an important thing to me. We live in an unjust world, as many of you - especially on Tumblr - know to a great degree. There is much discrimination and mistreatment of people of all creeds and birth. I won't get too social justice-y so we can stay on topic, and I understand that with the modicum of personal information I'll give out that I have a certain inherent set of privileges that I am learning more as time goes on I need to keep in check.

These privileges did not keep me from facing some discrimination. I am on the ace spectrum. For a long time, before the whole Wicca thing, I showed no interest in relationships. The one I was in when I converted to Wicca was out of interest for the person. However before that, my family confronted me constantly with the question "are you gay?" At the same time, I am also disabled, with several mental illnesses, however we will get to that in the FAQ section.

I also faced religious persecution, just like said "friend" in high school. When people found out my faith, they reacted negatively, by and large. Oh the woes of living in a non-open minded world. I'll give a particular example that gets my blood boiling.

I was talking to my friend, we'll call her O. The topic of religion came up, one I'm very interested in having studied various theologies over the years. I'm not afraid of backing up my choices, but I am not closed minded to the whole "I'm right and le Christians bad." I had several Christian friends of various denominations, even at the time.

My friend asked some interesting questions, to which I explained my points on. Then some asshole from across the room, who was apparently listening, jumped into a conversation he was not even remotely included with "You are going to burn in hell."

It caught me by surprise, because he was sitting right by the teacher. The teacher kinda looked at him, then at me. I asked him to repeat himself, so he gleefully did. I tried to counter with something, I don't remember what, but respectfully, and the teacher told me to be quiet. She was staring directly at me. Maybe it was a mistake, maybe she just didn't want a religious argument breaking out in the middle of fucking Geometry, I dunno. All I know is, I stopped all pretenses of playing nice after that when people would pull the same shit.

I will admit, I got a little petty. I unleashed my full witchy pride and gleefully told people about my faith and my experiences. I wasn't afraid of backlash anymore, as I had gotten it several times by then. Nor did I stop having theological discussions about the Bible and scripture with my Lutheran friend. We'll call him D. He was very kind always and never delved into insults, but we liked to joke that I was a godless heathen. I still do that joke with my Grandparents and we get a laugh out of it every time.

But never did I stray from my path. I did my craft, I communed with "Artemis", and practiced spells. Over the course of my life, some of the work fell by the wayside, but I always kept my Goddess' requests in mind. Eventually, I entered college, and moved out of home and never had a space for an altar until literally yesterday. But I held faith that all would be fine.

Why the Morrigan? Isn't She Evil?

Alright so let's dispel (heh) some notions right now.

A lot of people find the Morrigan in various ways, and I even got this question today on Imbolc of all days, the celebration of Brig, the Morrigan's daughter.

The way Izzy put it on The Morrigan's Oracle was that "she likes to weave a story." She will often change shapes and trick you into thinking you're talking to someone else. So, since I was a Hellenist at the time, I got put with Artemis, which is weird because I'm a dude, so that should have been red flag number one.

I worked with "Artemis" for years. Called her mom, she took care of me, and all she ever asked of me, no offerings, no requirements, no rituals (as a lot of the worship happened when I had fuck all space), was to fight; fight my battles (which were many and constant) and better myself. She wanted me to get my shit together, which was made harder by me being diagnosed with schizophrenia. Shocking, I know; the person who thinks they can weave magicks is psychotic. We'll get to that, please be patient.

Eventually, fast-forwarding about 10 years after working with Artemis through high school and college, something didn't feel right. I felt doubt for the first time, even after converting from Wicca to more vague Paganism. "Artemis" was quiet, and the few times she did speak up she told me to "keep going." This is something I needed, dealing with suicidal tendencies and psychotic problems. It runs in my family, and we'll leave it at that.

But a couple years ago from around now, I discovered this odd attunement towards crows. I first was afraid of them, as you will hear many worshippers of the Morrigan state. But then, i grew weirdly attracted to their presence. They weren't tellers of doom to me, but a sign. I delved into research, trying to find a Hellenistic answer to the question and drawing up little.

Then she appeared to me. Not in a hallucinatory way though, let me explain.

Her presence was made known to me when I finally found a Goddess linked to crows, who was also known to be a triple Goddess. I had an affinity towards triple Goddesses all the time, yet I never even considered the idea that a Celtic Goddess, with my Irish roots, was even a possibility as a point of worship. But when I made that link, I felt something as I read up on her. I remember at one point I felt like something of a feeling of divine amusement as I finally made the link.

Broke out that Oracle Deck, which I will include the picture of as it is my favorite Oracle Deck (Seasons of the Witch Oracle: Samhain) and put out a feeler. I got a strong answer back, in which she finally removed the mask. It was her, the Morrigan, in full presence.

I was kinda scared shitless because she's often associated with Death itself, and many other bad things. But as research will tell you, she's not really that scary. I call her "theatrical" more than evil. Yeah, in some stories she does some fucked up shit, but honestly, in regards to the Gods and Goddesses of myth, all of them have done something arguably disagreeable, and they usually have their reasons.

So does that mean you don't believe in Artemis' existence? That's kinda fucked up if you believe that.

I believe Artemis exists. I'm in that weird zone of Paganism that says any pantheon probably exists. I have Norse, Hellenistic, Celtic, and various other people who go for different Gods and Goddesses as friends, so I believe their experiences are valid and their connections to their deities are real and valid. I believe anyone who believes any religion should be seen as valid unless they use it to harm people.

Harming people through religion is not alone in Christianity. I was manipulated by some very awful people who were Pagan, and I will never forgive those people for what they did to me. Fuck those guys lol, we'll get into that later.

But as for why I don't think Artemis was really the one communing with me, and it was Morrigan "weaving a story" as some of her other worshippers state, is because all her requests line more up with her than Artemis. My mind was small, I liked Hellenistic beliefs, but my mind was too small to address the Morrigan at the time, and when I finally made the connection, it was the right time. I do truly believe the Morrigan is watching over me.

So what then, you're a worshipper of the Morrigan now? What about other Celtic Deities?

I believe they exist. As mentioned earlier, the Morrigan chose me, not the other way around. Other deities choose their followers. I have a friend whose mom worships Lugh, though she's a terrible person. However, NO ONE FUCKING ASKED my opinion on her, so we'll leave it at that.

I don't mess with Lugh much because any time I even think about him I get this kinda hostile energy. There's others, but the three I'm drawn to right now, and technically one of them is three Goddesses, are the Morrigan, Aine, and Brig.

Okay, can we address some stuff now?

Sure, let's advance to the FAQ section. I'm gonna try to speedrun this because I've been typing for like, an hour or two and I've got shit to do.

FAQ

So you're a Witch, does that mean you curse people and do magic for Satan?

I know this is literally what I earlier joked to be the Strawman section but this one was just too funny not to do.

I don't do curses. A concept I kept from Wicca, which isn't exactly exclusive to Wicca but not all Pagan's believe it, is the Law of Threes and the Wiccan Rede.

The Law of Threes is basically defined as something where whatever you put out into the universe - be it curses, hostile energy, hate, whatever - comes back to you three times in strength. So curses are a big bad. In the same way, revenge magic is a big no no, and some gods, even who reside over Justice, don't like you asking for Justice when it comes down to dolling out your own sense of justice, or even asking for it. Your mileage may vary depending on the practitioner.

As for the Satan question, I know I mentioned all deities probably exist, I don't believe in Satan, or Hell, or any of that. The Underworld definitely exists, as does the Hedge, but the Underworld isn't as scary as it sounds. It's kinda just... A thing. Do your own research on that and don't ask me.

To summarize, no; I don't curse people and worship Satan because I don't curse people and I don't believe in Satan.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

You've been a Pagan for a long time, so are you an expert?

Hell the fuck no. I haven't actively practiced in ten years, and even before I was shit at it. I need to seek out lessons from people more informed from me to get shit right and last night during my own ritual I was so nervous i forgot how to draw a star that Kindergarteners learn to draw. The Morrigan was very amused.

Are all Witches in a coven? Are they scary?

Man fuck covens. I was in a coven once; most high school drama ass shit I ever encountered. I don't do covens, and covens with (gasp) men allowed in it seem to be rare as is. I guess that's my gender reveal I was trying to avoid.

Wait how can you be a dude and a Witch? Aren't those all girls?

I will summarize this specifically, and it kinda varies so YMMV.

Warlock is kinda a mistranslated word from my research and means oathbreaker. I identify with the word Witch, and a lot of sources back me up while a lot of other sources say it's a male witch. You choose what you want to be called, but I would prefer to be referred to as a Witch or if you don't feel comfortable with that feel free to just call me a Pagan (or crazy, that's valid too).

You're a schizo, do you really think you can hear your Goddess?

Valid point, but this is different. There's a lot of theories as to the scientific backing of "hearing your god." I feel energies rather than directly "hear" something. It could be nothing, it could be something. I just go with my gut.

Atheists reading this might be like "oh yeah he's nuts." That's your prerogative. Home Button is right there and if you want to avoid the whole entire subgenre of this thing, there's some interesting tags you can blacklist if Tumblr still has that feature. #witchblr is a great place to start with avoiding this content.

I'd like to not get people going into my comments saying I'm utterly nutterly butterly, but I expect I'll get some of that. My advice to other witchs, Pagans, and Wiccans, and everything in between to just block or not engage. Really, as someone who works in social media, they're just giving you more engagement and spreading your content around. This can be a good and bad thing, but you decide what is best for you and don't listen to my psycho ass.

Magic doesn't exist, you're just crazy. Take your medicine.

It's on my desk, I already did, and surprise surprise I still believe in this shit. Chill, my advice to the hardliners is just to avoid my content if you don't want to read it. It'll be better for both of us if you just ignore me, or block me, or whatever you want.

So, what is this Tumblr gonna be about, really?

Let me address this plainly. I'm a creative, and I need an outlet to talk about my faith. My friends are starting to get annoyed because half of them are either atheists or agnostic and don't care or some sect of Christianity and think I'm a devil worshipper ooOooOooOH so spooky.

So I'll publish, as you've seen, poetry that comes into my head after rituals, teatime, communing, or whatever comes across my mind. I will also try to, ironically, demystify the whole thing regarding witchcraft and explain, from both a metaphysical and scientific lens, explain how all of this exactly works. A lot of magic and ritual is more psychological, and not all that crazy to understand, so I'll do some articles on how magicks work. Not in the crazy New Age Starseed psychotic way (everyone say it with me, fuck DOLORES CANNON), but in a way of how all of this works on a practitioners psychology. There is always a logical explanation for why we feel certain things work, even if in reality, it could be mystical or metaphysical. I will approach things from both lenses.

And let me just say, because from my first post you might think I'm a channeler, and that the Morrigan literally speaks through me, I feel more like she's my muse and sends me ideas. I'll be at a zen state and words just come into my head, then I write it down and post it. Some of it might be utter garbage. I never said I was a great writer.

Wrapping Up

Thank you for reading this gigantic wall of text. If you made it this far, feel free to reach out to me any time. I'm seeking out mentors and guides to learn the more ins and outs of more interesting aspects of the craft, and I will always have questions that need answering. If you feel like reaching out, my DM's are open.

All of you have a wonderful Imbolc, and Blessed Be.

Kuro

[junebugtwin]

fun little Worm ocs I've got stuck in my head (under the cut because this post ended up longer than I thought it would be):

Kathline 'Katie' Darner aka: WYSLMIIWAW (pronounced like 'wise-limm-wah') a nineteen year old runaway and member of 'The Party Crashers' a small and relatively informal rouge group that steals from the rich/ morally questionable and gives to the poor. (in this case they are The Poor but semantics) The party crashers prefer to target villain groups or cops- which makes them pretty much villains in the eyes of the law, though other villain groups find that opinion controversial.

Her power is that she can 'transform' into a worm (in reality its more like her consciousness switches into that of a worm that has been teleported where she was and her body has been teleported to another dimension in a location where it is physically safe, but she doesn't know that). It happens instantaneously and can be undone instantaneously, which gives her a surprising amount of movement and agility.

She can use her powers to dodge hits, survive falls she wouldn't as a human, sneak into places, hide, or dig through the ground. She perceives the world similar to how she might if her human body was made tiny, as though she has somehow retained her human senses- though they are fuzzy and tend to 'lag' a half second or so behind reality.

If she dies as a worm she wakes up in her human body in another universe. She does not know this because she has assumed (fairly) that dying as a worm would just kill her like normal.

Her name is a acronym, the full title is 'Would You Still Love Me If I Was A Worm'- a truly stupid name made up by her girlfriend that she went along with. They have not bothered to explain it to the press or anyone outside of their group- which, hilariously combining with the fact that the 'worm' aspect of Katies powers is mostly unknown- leaves her as a mysterious figure with an annoyingly instant mover power.

Katie mostly stays quiet in costume, but as a civilian she's relaxed and pleasant to be around, if not incredibly easy to push over and boss around.

Maxine 'Max' Arbor aka: Hot Wheels- An eighteen year old girl who lives with her grandparents and barely passed highschool. She's one of the other members of 'The Party Crashers' and girlfriend to Katie.

At fourteen she was in a bad accident and became permanently disabled, resulting in her using a wheelchair to get around, among other chronic pains and annoyances. She does not let this stop her from being an active member of a semi-criminal gang of hooligans, though maybe it should honestly.

Her power allows her to use as much force as the most powerful thing to impact her (ever) into any movement she does with her body. She can not tone this power down- if it's on it's all the way on. This would not be so disasterous except the most powerful thing to hit her was a bus.

Max's physical body is protected from the after effects of punching/shoving things with the force of a bus, but it does not protect her immedate surroundings, the floor, or her wheel chair.

This is unfortunate because she definitely cannot pay for multiple wheelchairs, and thus uses her thievery as an income to replace her mobility aid which she destroyed via her job as a thief. It's a self perpetuating cycle that she doesn't really like thinking about.

Max has obvious brute powers, and can move extremely fast when necessary- however she's not so great at the steering or stopping part of things.

She's naturally impulsive, quick to anger and quick to forgive and a generally kind hearted person when she remembers to be one.

Rose Winters- A nine year old girl who doesn't have a cape identity because she doesn't really consider herself one and hasn't stopped to think too hard about things.

Rose is extremely intelligent for her age, in part because of her powers, and in part because her parental situation is neglectful enough that it borders on abusive and she's sort of had to learn how to fend for herself.

She has a tinker power in a round about way, she makes little 'statues' out of mud, rocks, grass, leaves and other natural items- with each ingredients adding different abilities or quirks to the statue as she goes. The location the items were found in, the condition they are in, the order they are added to her creations, even her emotions toward said object all effect the final product even if only slightly.

These creatures are made animate when she considers them 'done' and are friendly towards her, with the problem solving skills of maybe a particularly smart dog. She can make them at any size, but it's quite hard to make them overly big without it collapsing in on itself.

Each statue has it's own simple personality, and some work together better or worse than others. Depending on what she put into them they can have a huge range of abilities and properties, such as blending into the background, being hot to the touch, shooting gravel, making extremely loud sounds, seeing in the dark, or giving out a mild electric shock.

Rose is more interested in collecting, making and testing out her statues than the local cape scene but she has accidentally caused some chaos- her creatures are free to roam where they want and not every one takes seeing what is obviously some ones minion wandering around their turf very well.

I do have more characters, including the rest of the members of The Party Crashers, but this post is already waaay longer than I thought it would be and it's getting late. Feel free to ask me any questions/clarification about these guys, I'm always down to talk about ocs.

[igotsnothing]

Beginning/Previous/Next 🐯🥭🐠🌅🪷

Beautiful lot build by @pandorasims4

Musical reference: 🎧

Happy New Year, friends! A new year, a new obsession story! I keep finding myself playing in Tomarang all the time: it's beautiful and I love it, and this story has been in the works (writing, setting up) pretty much since the day after the expansion dropped. It owes its existence to not just my enjoyment of Tomarang, but because a conversation with a friend got me thinking: my friend claimed that writing stories about how a couple meets and gets together is far more entertaining than writing stories about that same couple once they are together. I disagree! This is my formal protest! 😊

Transcript:

Lee: So…Thoughts? Henry: Can we even afford this place? It’s huge! Lee: Believe it or not, it’s half the price of our one-bedroom in San Sequoia. Henry: Are you sure? I won’t have to sell my body to the night to support my cute husband through medical school?

Lee: No, because your cute husband is also your smart husband and got a full scholarship. Henry: Then, can you hire me for my salacious services anyway?… Lee: Henry. Focus. Auntie Mei will be here with the keys any minute. If you don’t like it, I’ll tell her we’re ready to see the next place. Henry: What do you think? Do you like it?

Lee: I do. I like it a lot. It reminds me of my grandparents’ house. Lots of happy memories. Henry: Was that in the countryside? Lee: Yeah. The house is no longer there, but I’d love to take you to visit the village sometime.

Mei: Hi, boys! Lee: Hi, Auntie! Mei: I’m sorry I’m a bit late! I was with a client over in Koh Sahpa and traffic on the bridge was so slow!

Henry: Hi Mei! I haven’t seen you since the wedding! Mei: So nice to see you too! You had an easy trip? Henry: Not too bad! Mei: And is Lee taking good care of you? You eating enough? Lee: Oh my god, Auntie. It hasn’t even been five minutes…

Mei: This place is perfect. It’s a fifteen-minute walk to uni for you. And Henry, you can take the 71 bus to work; only two or three stops! Lee: This place…the tiles on the floor. High ceilings. Big windows… Flowers everywhere…It all reminds me so much of Grandma’s house.

Mei: I thought so too, sweetie. Your uncle suggested I show you an apartment on Segara Drive, but I knew you’d like this much more. It’s old-fashioned: no fancy gym, pool, or central air. It’s not in a flashy spot…But it’s real Tomarani living, in an authentic neighborhood, near our family. Besides, the owner is VERY motivated to sell !

Lee: Uh-oh…What’s the story behind that? Mei: Nothing bad! This is where Gugi Nguyen would secretly rendezvous with Anita Tran, away from the paparazzi. Lee: Who are they? Mei: Famous soap opera actors! They got married and don’t need this house anymore. Henry: Babe! That’s just like our story, minus the celebrity stuff! Lee: Pfff!

[Voices coming from downstairs, speaking excitedly in Tomarani.]

Henry: This is really happening. We’re here! Just a few days ago we were in San Sequoia… Now? This is going to be home. And this view? This could be our view. Every day. Wow!

[bexktaegeun]

Hello Hello

hello, introducing my bby! kwon taegeun! it was split between him and another muse! hopefully i can bring her later! now onto my baby! below i'll have his about linked and under the link! i'll have some basic info about him AND some lose plot ideas! if you see something you like or you think he'll fit or if you just wanna plot! let me know! 

also quick edit! open for water bomb event plotting!

ABOUT 

was born on august 18th 2005 in daegu

his fathers second child from his girlfriend who dumped tae with him

he finally settled down in his 3rd major relationship and second (rich) wife

he was cared for growing up and spent a lot of time with his grandparents on his dads side 

grew up with his step-mom as his mom and her family were nice-ish but it was clear that tae was seen as separate 

but still, he grew up with money so like...that's good right? 

a lot of missed in events in his life but it was made up with toys and money, he was well fed, sure his parents didn't care when he wanted to go off and become a trainee but they never forgot a birthday

he tried to bring it up once and was guilted in silence so he never brought it up again

as soon as he found out about taeha, he started to look for her

it was what pushed him to come to seoul, along with wanting to become a trainee

he's sad boy, he feels lonely at and fills the void with friends or parties or just being around people 

he downplays his parents treatment

actually, would downplay anyone's treatment of him because he's convinced himself he's lucky

is lying to taeha about how much contact he has with their dad and that he's funded by his dad, she thinks its all coming from the grandparents 

does love attention when he gets it

wants to be beloved by everyone and anyone, just to fill the void a little 

maybe, if he becomes super beloved his parents would notice him more

maybe his birth mom would seek him out? 

loves his older sister and loves having an older siblings

kinda buys his friends, he does want them but he doesn't want them to leave so he spends money 

easily taken advantage of and will excuse mistakes

in his last year at school

is taking dance/vocal/rap lessons, likes to run the streets to hang out, is on a dance crew and has gotten into working on music

pours all of himself into that because he wants it back 

when he's not dancing....he...has a random interest in wood-working? well, when your a kid who has money..skys the limit

also as much more normal interest: mysteries, food (baking but doesn't mind cooking), coffee black, enjoys sour candy and foods, he wouldn't call himself a gamer but he does play harvest moon and cooking momma

loves over the top dramas 

biromantic king! 

PLOTS / CONNECTIONS 

 i haven't said which high school...so some high school friends or friend?

you have a super expensive meal out and he totes cover the bill when you can find your wallet

rivals? street cats? both of you are dancers and often compete and try to out best each other like fighting cats 

use him! i mean it! if your muse is hard on money, he's an easy target because he'll give within reason and gift even more 

he has one or two npc friends that def just use him for things and he makes excuses and your a new friend OR old friend and your like wtf? they don't care about you but he just wants to be wanted

a past summer romance...like last summer with a female muse but she broke it off when school started, it wasn't anything serious but tae has been crushed. sure, he's getting over feelings for another and SURE you both agreed it was just some summer time fun to appear at parties together or just have something for the gram but it's kinda weird when ya'll share a friend group but tae pretends like you aren't there. (to mention, nothing really would've happened it was like one month romance of cute dates, maybe some kisses and a lot of posting each other or hanging out together. maybe it was time for you muse to buckle down on school) 

dance/vocal/rap/producer muses if you have plots or crews he could join

he's taking spanish and english lessons (fucking random but he meets people) 

also has picked up the guitar and drums if you wanna do something around that!

uh, he has a small website in which he sells some of his crafts, so maybe for that! it's wood works, paintings, carvings and etc! 

any muses who have part-times jobs and have places that would be hiring! his grandparents are legit concerned about how he views money and has told him to get a job, so he will

With that! I thank everyone for the welcomes! If you see something you like, message me or if you think he could fill your plot! Just like this and I'll come to you!

[aleksa-sims]

RL Simself Story ( 18+)

CW: Pregnancy, Depression

Another week passed and I was still at my Grandparents. I’ve been here for 3 weeks now. Even my Cuz went back to university. Yesterday I had my exam. At least this thing went well. I passed it with almost maximum points. And yet I couldn’t be happy about it for long. I wasn't feeling well. My depression had reached its peak again, so I couldn't go to work this morning. I lay in bed all day long, staring at my walls. This still felt better than leaving my room. Just thinking about it, overwhelmed me. But I called my therapist. I told her I was pregnant. I haven’t seen her in weeks. Those group sessions I once mentioned, were okay, but I missed much. Anyway, she wanted to see me. She asked me to come to her practice tomorrow, to talk about my panic attacks and some other stuff. She also advised me to continue my medication.

 My Grams was worried about me. She noticed that Nico didn’t come to me anymore. So I told her he broke up with me and that I had to divorce Daniel. And I’m going to file the divorce petition, but getting a divorce is not as easy as I thought. Tbh, it seemed impossible!?? That... person/DA, who handled my divorce, simply did not accept the reasons I gave her for my divorce. She said it would take at least a year, bcs Daniel wasn’t there, and who knows? Maybe we’ll make up, she meant. 😡...Agh, it's going to be complicated. And Daniel will be back soon anyway. Nevertheless, we will not divorce, but we’re not gonna be together either. 😫

That evening, my Parents and my Sister came by at my Grandparents. My Mom wanted to know what’s wrong with me? Why don’t I come back home? My Grams was a little tense when my Mom started to get upset about me. But my Mom was just worried. I was pregnant! What happens now? Do I keep the Baby or not? This was still not quite clear. I had an abortion appointment in 3 days. My Grams got so mad at my mom for talking about that! But my Mom never told me to abort my Baby neither my Dad! They just didn’t know what I really wanted!!??... Am I getting a divorce? Am I keeping Nico's Baby? Why isn't he here? Are we even together? And why am I alone in my room crying? My Parents wanted answers!

And Ana was still confused about my pregnancy. She still thought Dennis might have knocked me up. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️Ana thought I was so sad because of that. So she finally decided to talk to me about this thing! She came over to my room. But somehow we both did not succeed in talking to each other. I admit, it was hard for me to look at Ana, without having to think about Adam. I mean..... I don’t hate Adam. Still, what he did to me was disgusting. And Ana also had that gross pic of Adam and me in her mind. She didn't feel comfortable around me. Ana & I weren’t mad at each other, we just needed some time, I think. 😞

Ana: Hey, A..... You ok?

Me: Hi 🫤

Ana: I’ve known you were pregnant for 4 weeks, I noticed when you took a pregnancy test. I didn’t want to ask you about it. You know?..... I’m happy for you, if you want a Baby, but... I’m not happy for Daniel. 😞

Me: Yea, that’s why I can’t be happy about it, even though I want a Baby.

Ana: You don’t have to...... do this, if you’re not sure. 🙁

Me: I love N. 😞

Ana: Honestly, A.! Can it be that you do not know exactly who you are pregnant from?? Dennis, you know? You were totally high! Maybe you slept with him and don’t remember?

Me: It's Nico's Baby. Trust me, I know when and how it happend! And I didn't sleep with Dennis!! We were going to, but... well, you know what happend. Adam interfered. And before you ask.... NO, I didn’t sleep with Adam!!

Ana: I know! He was just a few mins alone with you.

Me: You staying here tonight?

Ana: Why don’t you come home?

Me: Um.... I’m tired.

Ana: Ok...... I go back over.... Grama fears Mom and Dad will soon get divorced too, like our stupid uncle....

Me: I don't care. They are 41! They’ll know what they’re doing.

Ana: Whatever you say.

Like I said, I wasn’t really in the mood to talk to Ana. Honestly, I also felt a bit humbled because she thought I didn’t know who I was pregnant with.

Previous/Next

[hostilemuppet]

Ngl I forgot about Rosé for a minute. Just for a minute tho. I remember what she did. Also I just realized that the reason Angelina & her’s child looks kind of like a dragonfruit is because of her hairshape 😭 (1/2)

as much as id love to take credit for the "rose bud" + "ripening fruit growing into its own" symbolism, that was all unintentional 😭

my choice for theming pitaya over... pitayas, was because they are a pink fruit (although a bit more reddy-pink than pitayas (character) magenta), and naming/theming a troll over a food is very easy to make a coherent design while still feeling troll-y, to the point i have to stop myself from naming every troll oc after some sort of food! (also i like drawing food and drinks, especially desserts and ones with fun colours. sue me 🙄) "pitaya" sounds more like a name than "dragon fruit", so i went with pitaya. making pitaya is also how i found out that pitaya and dragon fruits are just two genus of the same fruit, and not completely separate as i had (somehow) been under the impression of beforehand. every days a school day! pitaya has green accents in her design, again because of real life pitayas/dragon fruits, but also because two of her grandparents ALSO have green in their designs

(although as it is i think chardonnay looks too much like guy diamond, and since there is ZERO relation thats a really bad thing so im gonna give her a fresher coat of paint eventually. the green was supposed to represent the grapes, but "white+grey+green" is kind of guy diamonds exact colour scheme. maybe more of a golden colour for the wine itself?), so its a recessive trait, kind of like curly hair (related: i kind of regret not giving pitaya textured hair like angie, i think shed look adorable with it, but i went with a more leaf-esque super stylised hairstyle. maybe when shes older she can get a less leafy hairstyle? but that might also imply she was straightening her hair as a toddler and thats so sad 😭 neither gia or angie would do that to her. hair CAN get curlier as you age if you have both curly and straight hair genes (which pitaya has) but id worry about it implying the worst...)

(ignore how she has no glitter in the reference image, that is the doll i use for colourpicking her palette and i havent drawn her a lot recently 😬)

with rosé, theres even less symbolism there. rosé is not based off the flower at all, and in fact the reason i really tried to name her something OTHER than "rosé" was bc it just looks like shes named after the flower, and theres already several trolls in various official trolls instalments named rose! (maybe i could have gone with rosado or rosato and made her hispanic or italian... live and learn! i like having the é anyway, theres not a lot of characters whos names have accents, its one of the reasons i really liked lírio d'água's new name!)

(rose from crazy party forest (rip) and rose from trollstopia)

rosé is specifically rosé, named after the wine, bc shes introduced as a teenager so it makes you think of underage drinking which fits with her delinquent attitude, but rosé specifically being a nice wine still communicates her being a rich kid in a fancy school, especially with her being a sparkling wine (glitter troll). she has nothing to do with flowers at all, if her hair resembles a rose bud its completely coincidental: it is the typical troll silhouette but messier with a lot more strays and flyaways to show her rebellious attitude, and a little curl in the fringe for cuteness (+ to make the hairline more interesting. love a good fringe). but it representing her never getting her shit together and growing up IS good... however, no spoilers, but there is a point where she gets her shit together and... well, she doesnt grow up, per se, she remains a maladjusted womanchild forever, but shes one capable of taking responsibility for her actions. for better or for worse!

[c-poetjoycciwi]

I Don’t Want to Go to Heaven.

I don’t want to go to Heaven.

A statement not many ever think to themselves, let alone let leak from their lips-

A statement almost equivalent to ‘I wish Christmas were canceled and fun were illegal’ in the eyes of Christian America-

So unthought of, impossible to conjure, confusing and laughable.

At any glimpse of the thought, it must be excorcised from our holy bodies immeditaly out of extreme anxiety-

Because fear is what Christians are married to even if no one wants to get up here and admit it.

But I’m not afraid.

I don’t want to go to Heaven.

Because if there’s a Heaven- that means there’s a Hell.

If there is a Hell that means there is Satan,

And if there is Satan then there must be… God.

I’ve been praying to myself, ever since I started wanting to live

That there is no God above us.

Because the day I realized I wanted to live,

God never crossed my mind.

If God truly loved me, and could do anything he wanted,

I assume he would want to be with me on that day.

I was on my knees, slamming my head with my fists,

Holding scissors in my hand as blood dripped onto the tiles of the kitchen floor-

I was alone.

I was utterly alone,

It was the loneliness that made me want to kill myself.

But also made me want to live for myself.

Because that was the day I realized the beauty of life-

Is that nothing matters.

Everything is limited. Everything changes, everything dies,

What we have right now is the only moment we have.

That is the beauty in life. That is what is worth living for.

Experiencing every small moment to the best of your ability,

And letting them stitch themselves together, threading in new generations

Until the sun explodes, all is lost, temporary and gone.

The problem with gravestones, is even stones crumble.

There is beauty in the broken rock, the inner ore, and letting parts of this earth go.

Letting the sandcastles fall, and the tattoos fade, grandparents die, and shirts are outgrown.

If there is a heaven- the beauty is removed from loss.

I want to do everything and more with my life,

In my heart I wish I had a million lifetimes, but in my head, I would despise it.

I want to rest from this life when I am done.

I don’t think I would be able to stare God in the face after all He’s cursed us with.

Sometimes I hope this is hell.

I know we’re all not doing well-

Putting our faith in something greater than us, which no one knows to truly exist-

Sacrificing the life we have now to some greater cause beyond death-

What if death is the greater cause?

Because-

According to astronomy every star we wish upon is already long dead, decayed, forgotten,

Only now its light reaches our eyes, ‘what a sight’ I just might place my faith in a dead star- sounds a lot like religion if you let yourself think about it.

We appreciate them in our breathing state but they only serve our purpose when their glow is long extinguished,

Distinguishing life from death is an important thing to do-

I’m not living for what’s after this,

I’m living for this moment.

This is not easy for me.

By the time I was seven I learned to fear demons,

Crying in my room, reciting Bible verses for an answer as to why I was here.

I never got one. I found it on my own.

If God is real,

Then I should have killed myself when I was twelve

Instead of foolishlingy living to an age where I outgrew God.

Like Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny, I know too much about the world to keep believing that the origins, answers and complexities of life can fit between the covers of a book no one can truly trust.

When I was twelve I still believed church was good. I prayed to myself every night.

I didn’t know who I was-

But who I was, was a good little christian girl.

Terrified of hell to the point my bones rattled, gripping my bible as a shield against problems I still need therapy for today.

‘Ask God and he will answer’

God has left me on delivered since I prayed the Lords prayer.

‘God can save your soul’

Where was he when my soul was drowning in all it could not handle-

I coughed up unprocessed thoughts as my friends gave my soul CPR but only I could choose to live from there.

We can’t put our lives in the hands of God, out of our own and our responsibility-

My life is still mine, even with these borrowed atoms from the earth that will again return.

Sacrifice is not a graceful thing, we’ve all sacrificed ourselves to death by living now.

Killing myself is not a sacrifice? By the Bible’s logic that makes no sense.

Expressway to heaven, no accidental sins, be like Jesus but don’t come back-

I’m sorry.

God can not be so kind by sparing us from Hell, when he’s the one who created Hell to begin with.

The system is rigged from the start, yet we’re told to praise the one who made the system? No.

I will not worship governments for taxing us to death, nor will I worship a ‘savior’ for cursing me with living and then calling it sin.

‘That’s selfish, you need God’

Everyone says to me.

Then why has he been consistently absent in my greatest moments- or are my greatest moments not so great and my viewpoint is too limited to see? What is a moment relative to all of my life, or all of time or beyond this life, they say.

‘If life were only moments then you never knew you had one’ a quote from Into the Woods- a musical full of sin,

I begin to realize the best things in life are the ones we call ‘sinful’

I’m sorry for enjoying myself in the only time we have-

This is life. This. Is life.

Not heaven, not hell, this is what we have.

These are the moments that let us grab fistfulls of sand and let it seep through our fingers, frolic in the rain, letting it seep down and drain into our skin and clothing, have good sex and kiss people you love, create beautiful sinful art, make memories and moments worth living until the sun explodes, and the tattoos we got when we were 18 rot from our skin and seep into the wood planks of our coffins-

Until our gravestones crumble back to the earth, and life begins again.

If you can credit God with all of that, go ahead. I won’t stop you, whatever helps make this place a little more bearable.

But I still don’t want to go to heaven.

I have all of the heaven and hell I need, right here.

When I die, I want to rest I don’t want to live this life in fear that all I do will be judged afterwards- I just want to live now and die later.

As my heart beats and my lungs breathe, my blood is circulating through my body, with a consciousness I never asked for-

I am here. And that’s enough.

If wishing on dead stars gets you through the day, then by all means.

But remember to realize there is a difference between life and death.

Our souls are living now, let them live.

Let them be.

If there is a heaven, I hope to see you there.

If there is not, I hope to see you here.