#who is struggling with the heat we have here atm
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Dance of dragons (part 1) 🎶
(poses by @simmireen )
#the ward legacy#the ward legacy: spoilers#simblr#sims screenshots#ts4 story#ts4 alpha#ts4#alphasims#alphacc#Lucas Ward#Liam Ward#River Ward#yeah#you see him standing there in the back#just watching them enjoy the summer#which they are#luckily they are heat tolerant creatures#these sundragons#unlike their writer#who is struggling with the heat we have here atm#I love these poses though#seeing the two sunlights just enjoy the dance#for fun
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I really don't like doing posts like this but I've come to the point of asking when I know everyone is already struggling to get by that I need to get some groceries...
I lost my job a few months ago and live in a rural part of texas where it's not only hard to get to a job but FIND anywhere hiring out here. My father who've we depended on lost his job due to the exstreme texas heat so where going down fast with my step brother refusing to pick up the slack while living here...
I've been managing to sort of get by little commissions from friends but it is still not enough and my range of commisions isn't getting me anywhere. I'm a Diabetic with a disabled mom, sickly step father, pregnant animals with litters and a bumb of a brother who refuses to help so I just really don't know where else to turn to
Just right now at least like a dollar or two is worth anything atm as I'm waiting for replys on job applications
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Hello, hello! I hope everyone is having an excellent week so far.
I have five active WIPs atm and it's crazy and delightful. I worried I'd struggle with focus, but all of them are at different stages of development (and one is being written by hand), so moving between them is quite easy.
The collab with @erzbethluna, For All Intents and Purposes, is coming along nicely! We are keen to share chapter one in the not-too-distant future. Here is a snippet.
“If I see you fuckers again, I will destroy you!”
“Aleister fucking Crowley, calm down!”
When Simon turns towards me, the narrow alley curtains his face in shadows. He steps forward with such power that I move backwards into a wall. His hands plant on the brickwork either side of me. “Are you alright?” His voice is lower, gravelly; almost menacing.
“I’m fine,” I say, urging the words to come confidently and calmly. The knife is lying on the ground. “Fucking hell, Simon. You could have been–”
He leans into me, chest colliding with mine. Heat pours off of him as one hand wraps around my lower back, the other behind my neck. He kisses me passionately, fiercely, like he wants to consume me. My mouth must taste like a slaughterhouse floor, but he doesn’t seem to care, so I just let him. Frankly, I’m too stunned to do anything else. Then he’s pulling me into his arms like I’m a doll. “Home. Now.”
What Remains After The Storm is nearly done 👀 If anyone plans to read it in the near future, I'd suggest blocking the 'WRATS spoilers' tag as Eli will be sharing (very spoiler-heavy) art from recent chapters in the near future.
I'm feeling cheeky, so I'm adding a snippet from chp 14. It's below the cut as it's a little spoilery for readers who haven't finished chp 13 yet.
Sometimes a Fae approaches me, coaxing me to dance, brushing fingertips across my tunic and trousers. I shy away and [redacted] hisses. One elfin man smiles prettily at me, a cherry (a cherry!) held out in his hand. Before I can claim it, [redacted] mauls his ankle. The nearby Fae laugh as the elfin man squeaks and runs away.
[Redacted] leaps up, forcing me to catch him, then springs onto my shoulders. “Head for the bandstand,” he whispers into one ear before winding around to the other. “And don’t eat anything.”
“I wasn’t going to.” I mumble. (Definitely a lie. I’m knackered and I bloody love cherries.)
Some pressure-free tags! @artsyunderstudy @facewithoutheart @raenestee @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @yeonjunenby @cutestkilla @ivelovedhimthroughworse @larkral @stitchyqueer @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @ileadacharmedlife @confused-bi-queer @aristocratic-otter @tea-brigade @whogaveyoupermission @nightimedreamersworld @fatalfangirl @thewholelemon @onepintobean @chen-chen-chen-again-chen @shrekgogurt @theearlgreymage @martsonmars @blackberrysummerblog @orange-peony @palimpsessed @valeffelees @j-nipper-95 @rimeswithpurple @nausikaaa @wellbelesbian
#wip wednesday#simon snow#simon snow fic#snowbaz#what remains after the storm#for all intents and purposes
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Ok ok but taking the girls out to see whatever the big kids movie is atm and then you and matty getting into heated debates over it once theyre put to bed (I am struggling with how domestic he’s been looking lately)
i know the timing doesn't match up AT ALL but oh my god imagine taking the girls to see the lego movie lmaoooooooo. you're kinda ambivalent towards it, but the girls have been begging you and matty to constantly put the trailer on for them to watch and he is SO GRUMPY about how he "can't get that flippin' song out of my head" - he is absolutely not excited to go to the cinema to see it, but all three of his girls look at him with little pouts and puppy-dog eyes and matty is powerless to refuse them. the next friday night, matty and the babas pick you up from work, and you go for dinner before going to the cinema to see it. and the girls are HYPER - you and matty decide to treat them a little bit (just this once, because if you did that all the time you'd literally go bankrupt lol), so the little one (4) ends up running around with a bag of popcorn bigger than her head while her big sister (6) carefully chooses sweets that everyone likes from the pick'n'mix. and they're so cute while the film is on, little curly heads tilted to look at the big screen in rapturous awe, snacks going largely unnoticed because they're so engrossed (so you and matty pass the bags between you behind their heads lol). you get quite into the film as well, and so does your husband, who audibly laughs at some parts and watches - much like his daughters - with genuine interest.
the debates start as soon as you leave the cinema and walk to the car - all four of you at first, your eldest BAFFLED as to why anyone would want to stick their lego together and your youngest replying "cos some people are just weird" (which makes everyone laugh), and then just you and matty after you've put your sleepy girls to bed. he pauses while he's making you both tea to be like "i can't get over how fucking good that film was. weird meta cosmic horror shit about the importance of creativity and imagination? for kids? amazing". and you're like "and here you were, thinking it was going to be a capitalist cash grab so they could sell more toys to kids" and matty's like "i mean to be fair i do still think that", and you get into a whole debate about how lego really don't need incentives for people to buy their products and the question of depictions = endorsement in film (obv not this film, it is literally a lego ad) and like at what age do you start explaining capitalism and socialism and shit like that to the kids lol. it lasts until midnight, when the two of you can barely keep your eyes open and you head to bed - even then, though, when you're lying under the covers in matty's arms, you say "i can't believe we just spent four hours debating a fucking kids movie and ended up talking about joseph stalin" and matty just laughs and kisses you before you both go to sleep <3
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Hi! I love your work so much 💕 I hope you will accept my request 🥺 Can you write a fic that Haikyuu dad (any character you feel comfortable with) takes his daughter and wife go to a theme park but his daughter feels jealous because it's like a date between you and him :) Thank you so much!!
Present And Future
A/N: First of all, I apologise for taking so long writing it. My creativity had taken a sky-dive down and I’m struggling to write atm. So I had to plough my way through and I’m sorry if some parts of this seem weak, but thank you so much for your kind words and request!!🥰 It was an adorable idea and I hope I did justice for it!🤧
WC: 1158
Tags: fluff
“Say ‘ahh’.”
You raised your eyebrows at your husband who was sitting across the table from you in the amusement park cafe. Amidst the sound of children yelling in the background, Kuroo was holding a spoon filled sundae towards you.
“Last time I checked, I’m perfectly capable of eating it myself.”
“Sure you are, but where’s the fun in that?” Kuroo grinned at you.
You look pointedly at your surroundings. Dozens of families sat around you, but Kuroo only waited with the spoon in the air with a smile.
Ever since you first started dating in high school, Kuroo had always been affectionate with you. Recently, he had been swamped with his work at the Sports Promotional Division at the Japan Volleyball Association, working late nights and coming back in the dead of the night. So when he finally had time for a break he took both of you on a day out in the amusement park.
“So are you gonna eat it or wait until all the hydrogen bonds have collapsed?”
Seeing him like this, it reminded you of when you went on a date here during your last year of high school. He had insisted on sharing a sundae and spoon feed you then too.
“Fine, fine,” you opened your mouth, knowing you could never win against him. Two teenagers walking past your table giggled at you.
“How old are we again?” You muttered under your breath.
“Stopped counting a while ago. Here, you have some ice cream on your cheek.”
“Where?” Your hand flew to your face. Kuroo beckoned for you to get closer. But you should have noticed the mischievous glint in his eyes, for when you moved forward, he quickly leaned in and stole a kiss.
“Tetsu! There are kids here!” You pulled back, eyes wide, feeling your cheeks heating up.
“It’s not like we were doing anything too scandalous, did we?” Kuroo laughed.
He turned towards your daughter. Usually she would insist her father give her a kiss too whenever she saw you two, but for some reason right now she was being
uncharacteristically quiet. This morning, she had been so excited when she heard you were all going to the amusement park, but somewhere along the day, her excitement had abated to silence.
“Aren’t you going to eat it, honey?” You looked at her untouched ice cream placed in front of her.
She shrugged her shoulders without a word.
Ice-cream was her favourite food. If she was allowed to eat it three meals a day she would. Seeing that she didn’t even touch it, you glanced at Kuroo with worry in your eyes, wondering what’s wrong. Kuroo gently lifted her up into his arms.
“If you don’t feel like eating, how about we come back later?”
She nodded, hiding her face in the crook of Kuroo’s neck.
With her in his arms, Kuroo walked out of the cafe door.
“Here,” once outside, Kuroo went to put her down onto the ground. For a second it seemed as if she didn’t want to let go, then she released her grip and stood on the ground.
“Are there any rides you want to go on?” Kuroo asked her.
Again, she only shook her head, her head lowered.
The three of you walked in silence. Perhaps sensing your worry, Kuroo reached out and intertwined his hand with yours.
“Hey look! There’s that roller coaster were you had screamed so loud I thought my eardrums were going to burst.”
You pretended to stomp on his foot.
“Well, a certain someone assured me that it wasn’t going to be scary, but it had three loops.”
“Did I? Can’t remember.” The grin on his face told otherwise.
From the distance, a big mascot came wandering up.
Kuroo’s eyes lit up.
“Hey let’s take a photo!” He beckoned your daughter. But she didn’t move, only opting to stare at the ground.
Kuroo bent down until he was eye level with her.
“What’s the matter, Princess?”
Your daughter bit her lips then glanced away.
“Nothing,” she mumbled.
“Hey,” Kuroo gently held her face, “you are hurting your lips if you bite them that hard.”
Her eyes, so much like Kuroo’s, trembled slightly. Kuroo quietly waited for her to speak.
“...You look like you are having fun with mummy.” She mumbled, eyes casted downwards.
For a moment you were both surprised, then Kuroo’s eyes softened.
“I missed you too, you know? Every day when I came back from work you were already asleep. And I had to leave before you were awake. My heart was breaking every day because I couldn’t spend any time with you. Didn’t you hear a really loud crack the other night? That was the sound of my heart breaking.”
That’s just you breaking the plate when trying to put it in the dishwasher, you thought.
“Really?”
She finally lifted her gaze. Kuroo pulled a dramatic sad face.
“Yep. And that’s the reason why I worked so hard, it’s so I could finally spend more time with you again. The only reason why I’m so happy right now is because of both you and your mum. Sure, I love her very much. Always did and always will. With her, I want to grow old and spend the rest of my life together. But you are also special to me. I’ve always loved you from the bottom of my heart the moment I knew you were coming to us. But one day, you will find your own happiness and have your own family…”
Kuroo’s voice trailed off and he hung his head.
“Daddy?”
“Arghhh!!! No way no way!! “My precious Angel is gonna marry someone?” He hugged your daughter dramatically. “Don’t leave me and your mother!”
A small giggle escaped her lips. “I won’t leave.” She said resolutely.
“Really?” Kuroo echoed her earlier question.
A bright smile finally graced her face. “Because I love you and mommy the most!”
Kuroo scooped her up and tossed her in the air. She shrieked with delight before landing back in his arms.
“Ahh, now I’m not looking forward to the future,” Kuroo sighed.
“You get to walk her down the aisle though,” you laughed.
“And I’ll walk her back down before she reaches the altar.”
With her high spirits restored, your daughter pointed excitedly at another mascot who had waddled up.
“Look look!! Daddy, we have to take a photo with him!”
She dragged Kuroo off.
Seeing her small figure, her baby and toddler days long since have been left behind, you knew the day Kuroo was dreading wasn’t going to be too far.
Your daughter turned back towards you, her big eyes filled with the childish innocence that will soon pass.
“Mummy, hurry!!”
“Coming!” You called out.
For now, instead of worrying about the future, it was better to enjoy the present, so one day, you could look back fondly with no regrets.
Masterlist | Ko-Fi | 2021.08.15
#kuroo x reader#kuroo tetsuro x reader#kuroo fluff#kuroo tetsuro fluff#kuroo x reader fluff#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu!! fluff#haikyuu imagines#kuroo imagine#kuroo tetsuro hcs#kuroo tetsuro imagine#requests#haikyuu!! imagines#kuroo fic#kuroo tetsuro fanfiction#kuroo testuro#haikyuu!! kuroo#haikyuu drabbles#kuroo drabble#kuroo tetsuro drabble#hq fluff#hq imagines#hq!! x reader#hq!! fluff#hq!! imagines
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Estocolmo
Hannibal x Reader
Masterpost
Warnings: Smut 18+ thigh riding, fingering, oral, daddy kink, plot to make up for my first attempt at writing smut.
Word count: 6.8k
Chapter One
“Fucking hell.” You sighed as you looked at the still tall stack of essays that needed grading. “I’m never getting through this.”
Your stomach grumbled, signaling it was time for a break. Stretching, the quiet was interrupted by the sound of your bone’s protest from sitting in one position for hours. It was nights like these you had regretted your choices. Sure you had known Professor Jacob loved to torture his students with too much work, but when you took the job as his assistant you assumed that he’d shoulder some of the weight. A ridiculous thought now that you’ve experienced working with him. Why should he even think of grading an assignment when he had a perfect little lackey doing it for him? That was a non question. He had been strict about the work not leaving his office, which meant you had accidentally fallen asleep in his office more than often than you would have liked. The pile of work never seemed to diminish.
Walking out the office, you thought briefly of the joy you would feel when you’d never have to see it again. These long corridors would be a thing of the past in just a few, short months. Then you’d probably go to the city and struggle for a while but at least you would be free from here. As much as you prided yourself for getting through the first round of college, the walls of the building gave you more of an annoyed feeling than anything.
Pushing open the door to the teachers lounge, you made a beeline for the fridge. The leftover pizza already seemed like a feast until you noticed it was nowhere to be seen. “Hannibal,” you whined to the empty room as you closed the fridge.
“Yes, darling?”
You startled, immediately turning around to face him, a mischievous smile was plastered on his lips. Usually your missing dinner meant to head over to his office. It wasn’t typical, but the two of you had managed a comfortable friendship between the shared late nights. Though, you suspected he’d stay longer than necessary to accompany you in the empty building. “Would you mind telling me where my dinner went, handsome?” You asked, raising a brow at him.
“Old pizza can hardly be considered dinner. Come,” he motioned to sit next to him at the table, “I’ve got a better meal prepared for you nonetheless.”
“Or maybe you just need to learn to appreciate the simple things,” you quipped as you took your seat.
“And you, the finer.”
You gave him an obvious look over, “I’d say I appreciate you plenty enough.”
Being so forward wasn’t usually in your cards. However Hannibal had always been a gentleman and it had been fun to tease at him a bit. He never complained, often just acknowledging what you said with a raised brow or chuckle. Still there was always some truth in jokes and you’d be lying to say that he was anything less than tempting. Especially in the dark grey suit and dried blood red shirt of his. ‘No’ wouldn’t come to mind if he ever offered.
“Naughty, Miss LN,” he chided you, “What shall we do with you?”
“What do you want to do with me?”
“Eat your dinner,” he said, humor in his voice as he shook his head.
You choked back a comment about him just wanting to see your mouth stuffed, deciding it was too much of a push. Instead you just opened the lunchbox he placed in front of you. Hannibal watched you expectantly as you took a bite of the meat.
Closing your eyes, you savored the bite. It had been a while since you had something home cooked. “Han... I’m going to miss you most. I don’t know what I’m gonna do without you. Delicious, as always.”
“I’m sure you’ll do just fine.” He went back to work on his own stack of papers as you ate. “Though, I’m not sure I’m ready to allow you to live off street food once we part.”
“Guess we’re gonna have to find me another man that insists on throwing away my perfectly good food to serve me home cooked meals.”
Hannibal left some remarks on a paper before pushing it to the side. “You could always come learn a few things. Maybe I’ll rest better knowing you know how to make yourself a couple of decent meals. Any guesses for the meat?”
It was a strange guessing game, but you indulged him, he was just eccentric. “Oh, definitely human,” you teased, making sure to pick up some spinach and artichoke in the next bite, “Probably had a boring name like David.”
“Close. It was Richard,” he corrected.
“Beef, it was the Rolex of all farm animals hand picked by you and I’m very grateful you shared some with me,” you smiled at him, “So how are things going with Baltimore?”
“I’ve found a beautiful home. The office, however, seems to be harder to find.”
“I’m sure you’ll find the perfect one.” Your phone started ringing. Grabbing it from your pocket, you looked at the screen. Mom. “They’re making this unnecessarily difficult,” you sighed to yourself.
Hannibal looked at you with peaked interest as you shut off your phone and pushed it away. “Is something troubling you?”
“My parents aren’t taking too kindly to the no contact rule. It’s the tenth call today.”
“You’ve cut them off?”
“I thought about what you had said,” you shrugged, “I’m tired of always having to get them out of troubles and be their ATM when I don’t have enough for myself. It’s just too much on me right now. Between school assignments, Jacob’s work pile, and my other part time, it’s all just suffocating. They keep trying to use my grandfather’s death as a leverage to make me feel bad about not talking to them now, but they just want some money. I don’t want to feel guilty about this but I can’t help it.”
“Don’t,” he placed his hand over yours, “You deserve to feel taken care of and appreciated. They aren’t providing you with that now. Especially now when they use the death of the person who raised you as leverage,” he shook his head, making a disgusted sound, “It’s for your own well-being that you take some time to breathe and be young. They provide too much stress…” Hannibal fell silent. “I’ve suggested this before but i-“
You gave his hand a gentle squeeze before pulling away. “I’m not taking your money. We’re friends. Money complicates things. Muddies the waters.”
“Friends help each other,” he reminded you, “I’ve already told you I wouldn’t want any payment.”
“But I’d still feel like I owe you.” You shook your head, “It wouldn’t feel right to me. I’m fine. I promise. Though, if you’re so willing to help me with something, I wouldn’t say no to those cooking lessons. They could be fun.”
He spared you a smile, “It would be my pleasure to teach you what I know.”
“And I’d never deny your pleasure,” your mouth spoke before you could think about it, “Sorry.”
“I don’t deny myself pleasure either,” he said, amused. “You’re fine. Now, how about we meet on Sunday? I’ll have time to figure out a full meal and gather all of the ingredients.”
“Great!” You ignored the heat that still lingered on your face, “I- um, do you need me to bring anything?”
“Nothing at all, I’ll make sure to take care of everything. All you need to do, sweet girl, is bring yourself and an appetite.”
You stifled a pleased smile at the term of affection. “I’ll make sure to do that,” sparing a glance to the clock, you frowned, “I should probably get back to work on those essays.”
“Why don’t we work on them together?” He suggested. “My colleague is notorious for drowning you in his work. I can help you sort through it all and you can have a restful Saturday without Micheal’s added stress.”
“I really can’t ask that of you. You already have enough work as it is.”
“We’ll work together. First your work, then mine. What happened to never denying my pleasure?”
Your eyes widened, but you laughed all the same. Maybe a while more in his company wouldn’t be so bad. “Fine. Hold me to my words, but it’s only going to cause you a headache. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. These new kids are… something else.”
“They’re nothing,” he stood, grabbing his papers in one hand, “Meet me in my office. We can be more comfortable there and I may have stowed away a bottle of wine.”
“What would I do without you Doctor Lecter?”
-
“You have arrived at your destination,” the robotic voice informed you as you parked.
You took in the mansion of a home. It was too big for someone that lived alone. The thought made you shiver. Homes should be filled with life, not empty space. Then again, he was a fan of dinner parties, extravagant ones at that, so you supposed there was life in those walls on occasion. The home itself reminded you of the houses in old movies. Ones where the lightning would strike at just the right moment as a warning to stay away. But this was real life and there was no lightning, just a sun setting on a near perfect day.
Without a warning telling you to keep away, you grabbed the gift bag and stepped out of your car. He had said to bring nothing, but you couldn’t resist a simple gift. The ties in the bag had taken out a decent chunk from your pocket, but he deserved them. Between agreeing to give you cooking lessons and helping you out with grading every so often, the simple pieces of fabric meant nothing. Besides, it was a two way gift, he’d get more of the patterned ties he was fond of and you’d get to see him in the darker colors you liked on him, knowing he’d feel compelled to wear them to show you his gratitude.
Knocking on the door, you waited a couple of minutes before he emerged. “YN, just in time. Please, come in,” he stepped to the side, “I’ve looked forward to this all day.”
You smiled and stepped past him. “I have too. Entertained myself a bit today by finding you a gift.”
“Darling, you shouldn’t have.”
Nervousness bit at you slightly, a bit self conscious they’d be too cheap for his taste. Too late to back out of it, you handed over the bag. “You’ve always been so kind and I really appreciate everything. Let me do something for you.”
He set the bag on the nearby table, laying out the ties to get a better look at them. “They’re all lovely,” he ran a finger across the fabric of a maroon one, “Fond of me in darker colors, YN?”
“What can I say?” You shrugged, “We catch ourselves spending a lot of time together. Why not make you a decent piece of eye candy?”
“Inappropriate,” he chided you, before signaling you to follow after him.
“You just wear them so well, Doctor Lecter.”
Shrugging off his navy suit coat, he draped it over a chair, making quick work of rolling up his sleeves. “Ready to get your hands dirty, my little sous-chef?”
“What are we making?” You asked, looking at his kitchen wide eyed. It was definitely bigger than your measly studio apartment.
“Frisee aux lardons, duck with a pomegranate-citrus glaze. I took the liberty of preparing a blood orange sorbet for dessert.”
“I have a proposal.”
“Yes?”
“We don’t do any of that and just have dessert for dinner.”
“No,” he gave you an amused glance, “There’s more pleasure in waiting for things. Why don’t you start washing up the vegetables and I’ll start preparing the duck?”
You stuck your tongue out at his back but set to your work. “This is what I get for befriending a charming old guy.”
“Keep going the way you are and our next meal together will be langue d’Agneau en papillote.”
“That can’t be a threat if I don’t know what that means,” you quipped, setting aside an endive.
“It means, darling,” he pointed his knife at you, “The fondness I feel for you is an inconvenience. Nonetheless, it’s welcomed.”
You smiled at him brightly, as you brought the washed vegetables over to him. “I’m fond of you too, but you gotta stop flirting and teach me how we’re gonna cook Daffy here.”
He motioned for you to grab a cutting board and a knife of your own. The two of you worked in quiet harmony, occasionally he’d tell you exactly why he was doing something a certain way or just give you simple instructions and let you have a hands on feel of exactly how to prepare something. It was nice to see him in his element. Hannibal seemed much more content in his kitchen than any where you had seen him at the college. Eventually he set his work to the side and washed his hands.
“You’re cutting them too thick. Thinner is better for this dish.” He stepped behind you, “Do you mind?”
“Go ahead.” You attempted to move to the side, but Hannibal had already caged you in between himself and the counter. His cologne was different from the one you were accustomed to him wearing, but the subtle spice of it gave a more homey feeling to him.
Hannibal grabbed your hand that had yet to let go of the knife. He made sure to show you how to cut them the right thickness. “See? A little thing can unbalance everything.”
“Hm,” you hummed, catching yourself relaxed against the man, his frame strong against yours, “I don’t see much of a difference. Pretty sure this is just your variation of a putter.”
“You assume I have hidden motives,” He acknowledged, looking down at you, “And if there were any?”
Taking the bait, you pressed a kiss to the side of his jaw. “I wouldn’t be too upset.”
His head dipped into your shoulder, taking in a breath. “What happened to not wanting to bring on complications in our friendship?”
“We only have weeks left with each other,” you shrugged, “There wouldn’t be any complications. Not really.”
“We really should get back to making our dinner, darling,” he sighed, almost seeming reluctant to pull away, “What else did you did you do today?””
It took you a second to respond, still shaking off the embarrassment. You weren’t sure what had compelled you to do that. When you looked up at him you grimaced. Grabbing a napkin, you carefully wiped away the lingering lipstick. “The ties were the more interesting part of the day, I didn’t plan anything eventful. Honestly most of my day was taken with trying to recall the shop you mentioned that carried the ones you liked.”
He hummed in appreciation, “You also managed to pick out two I have had my eye on. I’ve got new suits coming in soon that will pair perfectly.”
You beamed at that, happy he did actually like what you had chosen. “Lucky guess. It was difficult remembering the ones I had seen you wear.”
Hannibal made to grab some ingredients and set them on the counter near the stove. “Have your parents tried calling you this weekend?”
You sighed, sure you didn’t have to tell him the truth but you wanted to, he had a compelling thing to him that made it easy to just speak. “I sent them money for rent. Which was honestly the dumbest thing I’ve done in a while.”
“It wasn’t idiotic,” he stated, setting to work on making the pomegranate sauce as you watched, “They’re you’re parents. It’s only natural you worry about them. Though, I do worry they’ll think of you as a person that doesn’t stick to her word.”
“I know, I really meant to, but the thought of them out on the street. It’s not my responsibility, but I’m just so used to being their adult.”
“It’s difficult to detransition. You worry for them as they should worry for you.” He checked over a pan he had been heating, “That’s perfect. If you could please..” Grabbing the plate with the duck you set them on the pan. “With duck it’s important to render off the fat. A low heat is necessary.”
You nodded, “Low and slow, got it... You know, I’m not sure they worry about me at all. I mean- I know they don’t. It should hurt, but it’s just a fact of life.”
“They didn’t give you an opportunity to be a child. When you were supposed to be in the most carefree moments of your life, they burdened you with the responsibilities of an adult.” He held out a spoon with some of the pomegranate sauce for you to taste. “Any pain the notion inflicted on you has been killed with time.”
“There are still moments though. Suppose that’s common enough, isn’t it Doc?” You leaned in, allowing him to feed you, “That tastes amazing. I really should have paid attention.”
“It’s simple, I’ll write it out for you later.” Casting the sauce aside, he set a pot of water to boil. “Very common. We aren’t too dissimilar when it comes to how quickly we had to grow up. Very different reasons, but the fall out isn’t much different. Our paths left us in places where we’re very much alone.”
“What happened?” You asked, realizing that he had known a great deal of your family and you had known nothing more past how his day had gone or his preference of coffee. “If you don’t mind me asking.”
“I don’t.” Hannibal went to fill two glasses with wine. “I was very young when my parents died. My father had implemented in me that, if anything were to happen, I was to take care of my mother and sister. Which meant I had grown fiercely protective of Mischa when the time came. Soon I was acting more as her father than a brother.”
“Where’s Mischa now?” You asked, knowing at the very least she had to be in her late twenties.
His lips set into a frown, he took a quick drink. “Lost her sometime after. There was a lapse of judgement on my part and she suffered because of it. My days have often been shrouded by the thought that I could have done better by her. The ways I failed burdens me significantly.”
You rubbed his arm sympathetically. “I couldn’t even begin to imagine that pain.”
“It’s something I never wish to experience again. Losing someone you love so dearly, it changes a person.”
“I’m sure you tried your best. You’re a good man. I’m sorry you had to go through all of that when you were so young.”
“You think too highly of me,” he patted your hand on his arm, “Far better than I deserve. Still if my childhood had taught me anything, it’s to value those I hold dear. Such as yourself.”
“I’m glad we found each other. Even if it is for a short while.” You watched as he stepped back into the rhythm of cooking. Maybe you weren’t any help to him but watching him work was comforting.
He raised a brow, “Just because the amount of time we physically see each other will diminish, doesn’t mean we need to completely break apart. I’d like to have you at my dinner table later in life.”
“I’d like it if we kept in touch,” you replied, looking at a small box on the counter. The small black beads glimmered in the light, calling at you to take a peek. A neat row of recipe cards in his impeccable penmanship, numbered as high as 120 but there could have been more. “That’s sweet,” you mused, looking at the back of a card, noticing a couple had business cards on them, “You keep track of your friends’ favorites like this?”
“Friends, acquaintances, business partners. It’s difficult remembering everyone’s preferences. When I have dinner parties I like to make sure there’s a bit of something for everyone.”
“Hm, well I’m sorry I don’t have a card for you to have.”
When everything was said and done, you helped Hannibal set up the plates to have dinner. The conversation became light as you laughed along to the better memories of Mischa. From his smile it was easy to see he adored the usually shy girl. You never pressed on to find out how she died, simply choosing to bask in his soft smiles and laughter instead of entertaining curiosity. It was easy to see he rarely talked about her and you were grateful that he found that much comfort in you.
Some time later he was sitting at his harpsichord, playing a self composed melody as you browsed his shelves. There was an almost familiar calm in the air, like this was a usual happening and it would simply just happen again. A naturally reoccurring moment. You found comfort in his presence too.
You looked up from the shelves when you heard his sigh. “I can’t seem to master this melody,” he stated, “The ending never sounds right.” The annoyed demeanor contradicted his lax look. At least lax for him. His vest and suit jacket had been discarded a while ago leaving him with a popped button, loosened tie, and rolled up sleeves. “I may just leave this one in the air.”
“Sounds perfect to me,” you said, walking over to him, “Though we can be our own worst critics. I know I’m mine.”
“It sounds… forced. Almost as if it’s reluctant to work with me.”
“Forced things just need time.” You placed your hand on his shoulders, digging in your thumbs to relieve the tension you felt. A soft groan as he let his head lull back to rest against your stomach. “Time is all you need sometimes. I thought you would have learned that already, old man.”
He opened his eyes, raising a brow at you. “Always with that mouth.”
You smiled down on him fondly, something- probably the wine in your system -thought about pressing a kiss to his forehead right then. “What can I say? It has a mind of its own.”
“I do prefer when it’s otherwise occupied,” he stated, closing his eyes again.
Your fingers dug a little deeper at that, caught off guard. “And yet.”
Hannibal played a couple soft notes, seemingly testing the waters for his next attempt at getting it to sound right. “And yet.” The first melody seemed almost innocent, but was followed by a second seemingly stalking after it. “Would you mind putting on a record? It seemed I’ve grown bored with music of my own.”
“Sure thing, Han.” Giving his shoulders one final squeeze you pulled away from him. At the record table you browsed through his selection. Hannibal was still composing as you decided to go with a record that looked more worn than the others, figuring something well loved would help him out of his frustrated state. Setting it on the platter, you gave it a brief once over with the anti static brush, knowing he’d probably be attentive to that type of thing, and dropped the needle. The music filled the air as you took in the melody. “Very you.”
He let out a soft chuckle, abandoning the harpsichord, in favor walking over to you. “Very me, indeed.” Hannibal took the record sleeve out of your hand, setting it down on the table. The music’s build up reached. “Would you give me the honor?” His hand was stretched out toward you.
You gave him a sheepish smile, “Afraid I’m going to have to disappoint. I’m not much of a dancer.”
“I’ve been told I’m a wonderful teacher,” he pressed, a charming smile on his lips, “We all start somewhere. Let me be yours.”
A soft laugh bubbled from you as you took in his look of boyish excitement. “You’re not allowed to complain when I step on your toes.” You placed your hand in his.
He gave a gentle squeeze to your hand. “If you’re too terrible, I’ll show you the way I taught Mischa. You can stand on my toes as I try to help you commit the movements into muscle memory.”
“Handsome and a comedian.”
“I try my best.” Hannibal gave you a gentle spin as he pulled you closer. A kiss was pressed to your hand before he placed it on his shoulder. “Now, just follow after me,” he instructed, placing his hand on your hip.
The moment could have made you fall for the man as you danced with him throughout the room. Toothy smiles and teasing winks were sent your way the couple of times you stepped on his toe. Soon enough, you figured out the pace and learned how to follow through with his unspoken plans. Still, ever the novice, you managed to place your foot in a way that sent you both stumbling to the floor.
Hannibal held you close to his chest, ensuring you didn’t get hurt in the fall. “Oh my sweet girl,” he laughed, “we are going to need more practice.”
You hid your face against his neck, ignoring the fact that he could feel how hot your face was getting. “You want more of that?”
“You were doing perfect, YN,” he stroked your hair sympathetically, “One misstep isn’t something to be embarrassed about.”
Taking a deep breath, you shifted off of the older man, opting to sit beside him on the floor. Hannibal followed suit, leaning back on his elbows. “I really am going to miss seeing you regularly,” you admitted, reaching out your hand to push back the hair that had fallen in front of his eyes.
“We spend much of our time together,” he acknowledged as he looked at you curiously. “In the kitchen-“
Your eyes widened slightly, “We don’t need to talk about that i-it’s fine. No hard feelings.”
“Romantically or physically?”
“I’m sorry?”
“Do you see me as a romantic or physical conquest?”
“I, um,” you opted to look at your fumbling hands, “I’m honestly not sure about romance… especially considering… everything and my experience when it comes to romance. Never really thought past- I’m talking too much.”
Hannibal’s hand tilted your chin up, forcing you to look him in the eye. “Oh? What happened to the confident girl in the kitchen? Don’t go shy on me now.”
“I was high on your cologne, you can hardly blame me,” you rambled, “It pairs with mine nicely I think.”
His thumb stroked absentmindedly at your jaw. “Such a sweet little thing you are… Now, tell me, YN, what couldn’t you think past?”
“You,” you offered lamely, “Mostly nights when I needed to relax. You’d cross my mind. I’d wonder how you felt. How’d you do things. Maybe you’d like to leave bruises only you’d ever know about…”
“There’s something special in knowing what others don’t,” Hannibal acknowledged, “I do enjoy my lovers wearing my marks, hidden from others view and only acknowledged by myself. As it should be, I’m certain you agree.”
You swallowed thickly at the implication of being marked as his solely. The idea of having normal conversations with him at the college with evidence of him knowing you well burned against your skin. Maybe you’d see if you could convince him into one particular fantasy Friday night had conjured.
He rested his thumb against your bottom lip, bringing you back to him. “I’ve had thoughts of my own… I wonder… Have you ever wrapped a hand around your own neck?” Hannibal smirked at the way your lips parted in surprise as he felt the heat rise to your face, caught in a way you hadn’t expected. “Sweet girl, were you desperate for me?”
You went to lick your bottom lip out of habit, instead finding the pad of his thumb. “Yes, sir.”
“Darling,” he sighed out softly, almost disappointed, “we could have sorted you out this entire time, if you’d only ask politely. There would have been no need for you to imagine, creative as you might have been. You always put everyone’s needs before yours, but where does that leave you?” Hannibal his thumb pressed against your lips lightly, humming in satisfaction when you let him in, already so compliant. “All you have to do is ask. What would you have me do tonight?” A soft pop sounded in the room as he pulled his thumb back, smearing your spit onto your lips and chin.
“Just tonight?” The words rolled out of your mouth thoughtlessly.
A soft laugh. “Maybe more, if you behave.”
Hannibal threaded his hand into your hair, pulling your head back slightly. Leaning closer he took a deep breath, taking you in, before leaving a simple kiss against your neck. His warm breath fanned across your face as he kept you in anticipation. Finally he graced you with a feather light kiss, so quick you weren’t sure you even noticed. You didn’t have time to feel ashamed of the whine that had escaped when he started to move away. Following after him, you caught him in an urgent kiss, threading your own hands in his hair to make sure he’d stay close. Hannibal bit at your bottom lip, his tongue sliding in the second you gasped. You ignored the sting and slight coppery taste.
Sure you had had your fair share of ventures. It was only natural to crave the attention for the night or a couple hours. However, Hannibal didn’t feel like any of your past partners. His kiss was unrelenting and passionate. Quickly he learned exactly how to kiss you to ensure you’d moan into his mouth. You weren’t sure how long had been spent like this. Lips on lips. Someone’s wandering hand trailing down the other’s body. The growing need. Every movement slowly became bolder. Hannibal took the time to pull you onto his thigh, closing the distance between you even more. He kissed along your neck until he found a spot that made you buck against him.
“Please,” you sighed out, not really knowing exactly what you wanted, but having faith that he’d give you just what you needed.
Hannibal leaned his forehead against yours, “Are you sure about this, darling?”
It wasn’t time for contemplation though, everything was already set into motion. He had just asked out of politeness. His hands moved to your hips, he dragged you against himself in a way that clouded your mind. “You’re very convincing,” you said with a shuddered breath. Leaning your head against his shoulder, you matched his rhythm. At the moment everything in the world was him and you couldn’t find it in you to mind.
“You came to me,” he pointed out. His hand tugged at your shirt and you allowed him to pull it off. Fingers raised goose bumps along your skin as he followed the fabric of your bra to unclasp the material.
“Could you blame me?” You kissed the side of his jaw for the second time this night. The lipstick mark left behind wasn’t as embarrassing when you were half undressed on his lap. A blush blossomed in your chest as you watched his darken eyes take you in.
Hannibal kissed along your chest. His hand made its way into your pants, drawing slow circles on your clit. Your soft moan and jut of your hips urged him for more. Before you could ask, he thrusted two fingers inside of you, the pace changing every so often as he took in your reactions. You leaned your head against his shoulder as you grinded against his hand. Soft whimpers were muffled by the fabric of his shirt.
“Come on sweet girl,” he used his free hand to pull you off of his shoulder by the hair, “you shouldn’t be hiding. Look at me when I’m touching you. Don’t you want to be my good toy?”
You nodded meekly, unable to make a smart comment when you saw a smirk settle on his lips as a too loud moan took its place.
“That’s it, no one can hear you,” he teased as he worked at the spot harder, his thumb rubbed at your clit. “You seem very close, what if I…”
As he went to move his hand, you grabbed his wrist to stop him. “No, no, no. Please, I’ll be good for you.”
He chuckled, but didn’t say a word as he brought his pace back up. Instead he chose to revel in your soft sounds and the way you had to focus to keep your eyes on him. Finally, he decided keeping you on the edge was enough and allowed you to cum on his fingers.
“Clean up your mess,” he said as he thrusted his cum coated fingers into your mouth, “There you go, good girl.”
You watched him as you sucked his fingers clean. Bringing a hand down you palmed cock through his pants, fully intending on returning the favor. “You’re wearing too many clothes.”
“I’m afraid that status isn’t going to change anytime soon.” Hannibal kissed your pouted lip. “Don’t worry, I fully intend on taking care of you. Come, let’s make you more comfortable.”
As he stood, Hannibal offered you his hand to help you up. You followed him through the home to his bedroom, a place you didn’t think you’d end up but were more than pleased to see. Still you weren’t exactly taking in the sights when you were pulled into a rougher kiss as he led you toward his bed. A not too gentle push to your chest landed you on top of it. Leaning back on your elbows, you watched as Hannibal took his time undressing you fully.
“You don’t play fair,” you complained, shifting yourself higher on the bed, away from him, “I like a pretty view too you know.”
He smiled, looking down at you fondly, “Very well, but only as a reward for earlier. I know you struggled.”
You smiled at that, shaking your head, “Come here won’t you?”
There wasn’t any time wasted when he settled on top of you, you didn’t have his patience. Your hands worked on his tie and buttons as his lips and teeth trailed across your chest. A subtle grind against your pussy had your thighs squeeze his waist. Pushing his shirt off, you felt down his chest, still surprised by how muscular he seemed to be underneath it all. You wondered if he’d stop you as you reached for his belt.
“That’s enough. I don’t think you’ve earned it just yet.”
An annoyed huff was all you could manage.
“All in its time, darling.” A surprisingly gentle kiss was dropped on your cheek. “Can you manage waiting a while longer for me?”
You resisted the urge to nuzzle against him, unused to such soft displays from past partners. “Yes, sir...”
“Always such a sweet, polite thing.”
Hannibal kissed and bit his way down your body, ensuring there would be evidence of him the next time you saw yourself in the mirror. He allowed you to thread your fingers in his hair, giving him a soft push down when he took too long marking you in one spot. It wasn’t much longer until Hannibal was level with your thighs, he pushed them further apart. A moment passed without anything before you remembered his rule. Willing yourself up you looked down at him, catching a wink before you were rewarded with a broad lick. Hannibal sucked your clit, pressing your hips down when you grinded against him.
A helpless noise was the most you could do.
He bit your thigh, his fingers immediately making their way back inside of you, targeting the spot he had quickly learned turned you to putty.
“You really are beautiful like this,” Hannibal acknowledged, “Completely at my mercy. Desperate for anything I’m willing to give you.”
There wasn’t any time to think up something to say as Hannibal’s mouth replaced his fingers, silencing any words that weren’t his breathy attempts of his name and pleas. Teeth grazed against your clit and a soft moan of his own was enough to pull you closer.
“Please, daddy,” you begged, too far gone to be embarrassed by your slip, “I’m close…”
Hannibal was merciful, helping you finish as quickly as you had asked. Maybe at another time he would have teased and made you hold on longer but there was only so much patience he had. Especially when there was such an eager lover begging him. You watched him, dazed, as he came back up, his hand gripping at your jaw.
“Open.”
Doing as he wanted, you opened your mouth, instantly receiving a mix of the still lingering wine he had drank at dinner and you. He watched as you swallowed.
He let out an almost dreamy sigh. “So pliant.”
Hannibal kissed you, finally allowing you to get your way as you pushed off the last clothes. You pumped him in your hand, working up the courage as you shook off the daze he had left you in. He was definitely the most talented partner you had had.
“We don’t have to go any further,” Hannibal reassured you, kissing the side of your mouth, “I’m perfectly sedated watching you.”
You shook your head immediately, not wanting him to think you were hesitant. “I want to, college guys aren’t so giving, just needed some time to clear my head.” As if to prove your point you gave him a squeeze, that made him thrust into your hand on instinct. “I just feel bad you’re doing all the work.”
“I prefer it,” he groaned quietly, as you thumbed at the slit. Hannibal rolled so that you could be on top of him, “But if you insist…”
A soft laugh. “That was hardly the fight I was expecting,” you muttered teasingly, kissing his jaw.
“My patience is running thin.”
At that you straddled him, your hand lining him up with you. His hands held you steady as you sunk onto him. The both of you moaned softly when he was fully inside. Hannibal slowly grinded you against himself as you adjusted to his size. Hands against his chest, you started riding him in earnest.
“That’s my good girl,” he praised you, his fingernails digging harder into your hips.
“Yours,” you whimpered, too enthralled in the feel of him to pay any attention to the weight of what you were saying. His groans underneath you encouraged you more than anything. “All yours.”
Hannibal sat up, wrapping an arm around your waist to keep you firm against him. His soft kiss was a contrast to how roughly he was working himself into you. You couldn’t find it in you to care that he had taken control again. Instead you wrapped your arms around his neck, letting him do as he pleased, just enjoying the way his hands and lips would travel across your body. Teasing, pinching, biting everywhere he could reach. Your chest alone would be covered in marks left behind by Hannibal. That would be a problem for the future you to deal with at the moment you were too preoccupied with begging him for more. He’d slow his thrust whenever he felt you close to the end, chuckling lowly at the whining sounds you had made.
“Give daddy one more sweet girl. I know you can.”
You moaned loudly, giving Hannibal exactly what he wanted. When he wanted. Drained, you fell limp against his shoulder. Every small sound you made broadcast directly to him as he used you for all your worth. His arms tightened around you when you tried to pull away from the over stimulation.
“Daddy’s close,” he promised, his accent thicker than usual, “I’ve taken such good care of my girl. Be good for me.”
Nodding, you dug your nails into his shoulders. You could be good. He had been so good to you after all. Still your vision blurred and it had taken a while longer for him to finally go still inside of you.
Hannibal kissed the side of your head, before pulling you to lay down against him. His thumb wiped away the stray tear that had managed to fall. “You did so well for me. Are you alright? Do you need anything?”
You sighed sleepily, curling into his side more comfortably, “I’m alright. Just want you.”
“We’ll take care of you later,” he promised, seeing how tired you were, “You should rest, darling. I’ll be right here.” His hand rested on your hip, thumbing at forming bruise gently. Between the soft touch and his quiet humming, it didn’t take long for you to find sleep.
NextChapter
#hannibal lecter#Hannibal Lecter x reader#reader insert#smut#hannibal#Hannibal nbc#Hannibal x reader
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The Alpha next door (6/?)
AN: Sooo, again a shorter chapter, I apologize but atm I struggle with this story. I know what I want to happen but I cant write it...
Warnings: I don't think so, maybe a bit angst
Wordcount: around 1.3k
TAND-Masterlist
Masterlist
Part 5
She had been lucky enough to find some fitting clothes in Charming: A summer dress, some shorts for beneath, and a pair of roman sandals. “Can you grab the box on the kitchen table for me and place it in my car, please? I need to finish getting ready.”, Millie called out from her bathroom. “Sure. Anything else?”, Happy answered from the kitchen. “Nothing. I am almost done as well. Are you sure that it is enough that I bring just some muffins for dessert?” “Yeah. Told you there is no need for you to bring anything.” “I know. I just want to make a good impression. They are your pack.”, she sighed. “And you are my Omega.” “Yeah.”, she smiled to herself while finishing her makeup. .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.--.-.-.
“So we meet again.”, the woman Millie knew to be Gemma Teller-Morrow greeted her at the door. “Hello, Ma´m. A pleasure to meet you again.”, she answered anxiously. “No need for these formalities. You are one of us know. Call me Gemma.” “Millie. I brought some Blueberry-Muffins I made. Hope that was okay.”, she fiddled with her hands. “Of course. I hope Happy told you that you did not need to bring anything. You are our guest tonight.”, the older woman answered. “He did mention it a few times. But I like to bake, so it was no big deal.” “Well, come in. I will show you to the kitchen and where you can put your muffins.” “Thank you..”, Millie hummed and followed her inside. Multiple unknown scents attacked her the second she stepped through the door and she was at the edge of being overwhelmed. Luckily the scents of Chibs and Tig were able to catch her animals' attention and it calmed down enough for her not to be in a flight response. “You can place them over there.”, Gemma nodded to the countertop in the center of the kitchen. “Will do, Gemma.” “So tell me. How did the two of you meet?”, she asked nonchalantly. “I-uhm- we are neighbors.” “I already knew that, Honey. But how did you meet as Alpha and Omega? Happy is not the kind of Alpha that goes after Omegas.” “He saved me from another Alpha. It went from there.”, the younger Omega explained, not wanting to give too much information. “Wha-” “Gemma. Everyone is seated. We are only waiting for the two of you.”, another Omega saved Millie from a deeper questioning. “On our way Tara. Be a dear and help us carry these plates, would you?” “Sure.”, the newly arrived Omega rolled her eyes. “Thank you.”, Gemma answered with a sinister sweet smile,” Please go ahead we are right behind you.” “Fine.” “That room we enter is filled with Alphas, as you already can smell. Please do not make Happy hurt any of them. Blood is hard to get out of the Carpets and hardwood floor. The Croweaters won´t be happy about that either, not they are very fond of you for taking him away from them.” “I- I will try my best.”, Millie answered unsurely. “Good. Now let´s get this last bit of food to the hungry Wolves.” The whole dinner was tense, even though she was seated between Happy and Tig, their scents trying to fight off her unknown ones. And she was glad when the Men went into the adjoined living room after dinner, leaving the women to put the leftovers into Tupperware, and the prospects to clean the table. “The muffins can be reheated. I usually serve them with either chocolate sauce or powdered sugar.”, she explained. “I will heat the oven, ten minutes?”, “Yes. “ “If they taste as good as they smell be prepared to make them a lot. These men are acting and looking tough, but they love sweets just as much as any little boy.” “Who are you calling a little boy, Ma?”, the voice of the VP called from behind them. “You and the rest of the trouble makers in that room, son. What do you need?” “We have to leave for a bit. I want Tara and the boys to stay here. Millie, Hap will probably speak to you himself, but you can stay here or at the clubhouse if you want.” “Thank you?”, Milli answered shyly, “Guess I will talk to Happy then.” “We should be back in the morning. Are you okay staying here?”, Her Alpha explained, taking in any little reaction of the Omega in front of him. “I guess.”, she mumbled, sad her work would end up in the bin. “What is bothering you then?” “The muffins will go bad. They can be reheated only one time.”, she explained with a sigh, “You don´t want to happen to take one for the ride?” “You don´t need to ask twice. OPE, TIG, JUICE, get your asses in here or I will eat every single muffin myself!”, he chuckled and called out. Within seconds the baked goods were gone and the men left. .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.--. A gentle knock pulled her out of the short sleep she had managed to fall into in the early morning hours. “Jgrmgh”, she groaned into the pillow. “Ms. Millie? The Breakfast is ready in a few. And the others called, they should be back in three
hours at most.”, the Prospect V-Lin called through the door. “Mrph.” With tiredness burning eyes she followed the scent of freshly made coffee, eggs, bacon, and buns. “Good morning, Millie. Take a seat. What do you want to drink?”, Gemma greeted her with a warm motherly smile. “Just a tea, please. Thank you.” “It will get easier in the future.”, Tara tried to assure her seeing her state, “Jax left me a t-shirt of his for the first few times. But it will never be like a normal day.” “Oh. I – I will speak to him. Thank you for the tip.” “Nonsense. Us Omegas and women of the club have to stick together. We are a pack. A pack that takes care of each other. If you ever need anything give me a call.” “I will remember that.” The three women ate breakfast without many conversations with each other, only interacting with the two little boys. Just as the kitchen had been cleaned up, the front door opened and the voices of two little boys screaming “Dada” reached the adults. “Hello, Ma. V-Lin, Hap wants you to take Millie to her house and stay until he comes over.”, the blond man greeted the other women before kissing his Omega. “I will get my things then.” .--..--..--..--..--..--..--..--..--..--..--..-.-..-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
“You can take a seat in my kitchen if you want. Or on the porch.”, Millie offered the Prospect, “Do you want a coffee?” “I am fine. Thank you Ms.”, the prospect hummed, “I will take a seat on the porch until Happy arrives.” “Suit yourself. The machine is over there if you change your mind.” “Thank you Ms.”, the Beta stated again and took his seat on the porch, “I am sure it won´t take long for him to come over.” But he wouldn´t. It was almost dinner time and Happy still had not been there to see her and she began to worry. She believed Jax would have said something if he had been hurt, so why wasn´t he coming? Was it something she did? Had she done something during the dinner? “V-Lin. I want to prepare something for dinner, do you want something?”, She called out off the front door, tired of waiting and needing to distract herself. “He doesn´t. He will return to the clubhouse.”, Happy´s voice answered for him. Hearing his voice, her animal was both pleased and angry. Pleased that her Alpha had finally returned and angry that it took him so long. “You are back.”, she answered stepping aside to let him enter, which he happily did.
Part 7
AN: Thank you for reading :)
REBLOGS and comments are appreciated:)
~MaggY
Taglists:
Permanent
:@jadepc @pacifyhxlsey @thankyoukarenclifford @thankyouforanonymity @punkrockhufflefluff @scarletraine @buckycaptspideypool @markusstraya @graveyard-groupie @markusstrayya @randomgirlkensy @the-soulofdevil @marshyrebelcloud
Alpha next door:
@wiccanmetallicrose @gloriousqueenjellyfish @peterfrauchen @anni1607 @alexakeyloveloki
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Hiya, let me just say i love your writing. If i am ever bored i just binge read through your masterlist. Anyway, i was wondering could I make a request were harry/tom/harrison (up to you) pick reader up from like a night club and drives them home. But the reader is super tired and falles asleep so harry/tom/harrison have to carry reader into their home and put them to bed? idk I am in a super fluffy mood atm ☺️
summary: you fall asleep in the middle of harrison trying to get you home from a night of drinking
harrison osterfield x reader
w/c 638
a/n thank you so much🥺
it was close to 2am when harrison’s phone finally woke him up, your contact name across his screen enough to snap him out of his sleepy state, along with the other 4 missed calls.
“hello?” he could hear the pounding music like he was in the room himself.
“harrison, hi,” you slurred, clearly having had one too many drinks tonight.
“where are you?” he asked, his voice laced with concern for your wellbeing right now. he repeated your name down the phone when you didn’t answer him, trying to make sure you could hear him over the loud music.
“i don’t remember the name, and i don’t know where everyone went.” harrison sighed, tugging at his hair out of frustration. not exactly aimed at you, moreso your friends who had all left you while you were clearly very drunk.
you were going out with some of your friends to celebrate one of them recently getting engaged, it was supposed to be a fun night of drinking and dancing, and now here you were in the early hours of the morning left alone and confused at a club.
“i need you to tell me the name so i can come and get you,” he explained, climbing out of the warm bed to throw some clothes on over his underwear. you hummed, excusing your way through the crowd until you were outside.
you read off what the sign above the door said, resting your back up against the wall of the building.
harrison got there as quickly as he could, probably breaking a few traffic laws on the way, but he was worried that you were all alone, drunk, in the middle of the night.
you spotted him before he spotted you, calling for him to get his attention as you tried walking towards him.
“baby!” you announced, stumbling over to him on the curb. he smiled at you, wrapping his arms around your waist so he could pull you into his chest.
“you’re freezing, darling.” he pulled his hoodie over his head and helped slip it over yours, assisting you when you struggled to put your arms through the sleeves. “come on.”
he helped get you into the passenger seat of the car, making sure you didn’t hit your head on the roof.
the ride home was quite uneventful after one mishap where you thought you were going to throw up, but a few deep breaths and harrison’s hand rubbing your arm managed to make it go away.
“we’re here.”
harrison looked over to see you practically falling asleep against the car door. a small smile spread across his lips just seeing how adorable and peaceful you looked sitting there.
he was as careful as he could be when he was getting you out of his car, making sure you didn’t fall when he opened the door, and making sure all of his movements were as careful as they could be.
“i’ve got you bub.” you buried your head in his chest, tightening your arms around his neck as he slammed his car door shut. the steady beat of harrison’s heart and his warm embrace was enough to lull you to sleep in his arms, the sleep you’d been on the edge of since you’d climbed into the heated car.
you shifted slightly in his arms to get more comfortable, nuzzling your head under his chin. he carried you inside and up to your shared room.
“here we go.” he gently laid you on the edge of the bed, giving himself chance to take off your makeup and get you into comfier clothes.
you were ready for bed within 20 minutes, having harrison tuck you under the blanket.
“thank you.” he kissed your head, pulling the covers up to your chin so you would stay nice and warm.
“always.”
harrison osterfield taglist - @seutarose @euphorichxlland @hjoficrecs @hazardosterfield @bvttercupbby @call-me-baby-gir1 @fallinfortom @hollandbroz-n-haz @hopelessly-harry @siriuslyslyslytherin @musicalkeys-blog @itstaskeen @icyhollands @zspideyy @chrisosterfield @givebuckyhisplumsnow @lowkey-holland @hollandcrush @wizkiddx @sannie-san-shine @hopeless-romantic-baby @dummiesshort @thehumanistsdiary @itsbieberxholland @lillucyandthejets @piscesparker @kujokura @l0velyevans @jess-holland23
#harrison osterfield imagines#harrison osterfield oneshot#harrison osterfield imagine#harrison osterfield fluff#harrison osterfield
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Six months on Testosterone
I did an update at five months, here we go again at six months
In case you missed some previous details: I am an older than most ftm medical transitioners. Yep, I left it late mainly because my xennial idiot self had no idea I was trans for a long time - LGBTQ education was illegal when I grew up (Section 28, thanks Thatcher), the internet literally did not exist until I was in secondary school (and was dial up only), and if you get told you’re a tom girl long enough you struggle to figure it out.
So, I am married, I have children, and a career - I’m your Trans Dad but you youngsters can call me Baba. You can’t tap me for pocket money (my little live in minions have already taken everything), but you can absolutely ask me questions, get moral support (or amoral if required), and if I ever meet you in person I do give great Baba hugs.
I have been around the block few times and had the usual life disasters here and there. I count myself lucky to have survived this far!
Anyway, six months on T:
Periods are no longer a thing - yay! If I bleed now it’s because I’ve been a dumb arse and injured myself, not because mother nature is being a drama queen.
Hair - So much hair. I was expecting treasure trail and a few hairs on my chest but the extra hairs growing my upper thighs were an eye opener! Fine dark hairs on my upper lip are more fluffy than anything else and I am only shaving to get used to it.
Voice - Oh yes, it’s getting low and the worst of the cracking seems to have gone in the previous month. It may sneak up on me again though, we will have to see.
Strength - Hehe, wrestling matches with the hubby are getting good. I go to the gym and lift weights regularly, I can now match him for strength and he is having to come to terms with me being the bear in this relationship. To be fair, I really don’t think he minds,
Surgery - I see the consult for top surgery in three weeks. Given I have rather large moobs (two children will do that!) it will have to be a double incision and the first quote is £7800. In theory I could wait for the NHS, but I’d like to get surgery before retirement so private funding it is. I will see if I can get an hysterectomy through the NHS, but that’s not such a priority atm. The moobs are a huge dysphoria issue since I feel like they stop me passing and during summer it’s too hot to bind.
Hormones - Obviously, I’m now six months in. I started out on Testogel and it worked but timing when to apply it with gym workouts and an active shift working job was a pain. You can’t shower within hours of applying it which has the potential to make you chose between T levels and feeling icky/sweaty all day. My wonderful specialist laughed at me for making the decision to change just as we got my T levels in the right place and then cheerfully stabbed me in the backside with Nebido. In three months time I will go back for another round. A week later and I am already liking not having to do anything and knowing my T is there.
Random - My body temperature has gone up, I don’t feel the cold so much and I struggle stupidly in the heat. Libido, oh boy, that is crazy and hubby is loving it! My face shape is changing and fat distribution is giving me a belly and my hips are less obvious, while my shoulders are broadening.
Overall - Passing is hit and miss, hubby informed me I am in the uncanny valley stage of transition.
My workmates and I are running an experiment with the people we meet on a daily basis. I think it’s mostly women who code me as female and men who code me as male. They think it’s age based and the older a person is the more likely they are to see me as female. Results when we have a large enough study.
Remember, you do you. All my fabulous fellow cryptids, you know you’re beautiful. If you’re younger than me beware, I will adopt you if your biological family are being shitty.
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dust & glass
prompt: explosion
whumpee: nick burkhardt
fandom: grimm
hi! this fic is for @do-androids-dream-ao3acc who requested a fic with an explosion and a character of my choice. i hope you enjoy, and sorry it took a hot second lol :)
“Hey, wait for me!” Hank calls, as Nick pulls open the door into one of the abandoned offices. Nick steps back a second, looking to where his partner is hurrying around a corner, and waves him along.
“Come on, Hank,” he shouts. “Let’s get moving!”
“Hey, come on, man!” Hank yells back, indignant. Nick grins at him and pulls the door open wider.
Click.
What was that? Nick wonders, looking around. It hadn’t sounded like a gun, but…
Suddenly he’s being thrown backwards, or pushed, really, by the force of an explosion from just behind the door. He feels himself get tossed through the air, feels shrapnel dig into his skin, feels the intense heat of the blast, tastes smoke and dust, smells something burning and underneath that, something that smells like gunpowder.
For a second afterwards, he simply lies on the ground, stunned, unable to do anything beyond breathe raggedly. Alarms are going off in his head, screaming danger, but his body hurts too much to do anything in reaction.
He tries to think, and comes up empty. Then he hears someone call his name, and his brain finally starts working again. It’s Hank.
Nick struggles to his feet, ears ringing and eyes blurring from the dust. He’s insanely dizzy and barely strong enough to stand on his own, let alone move. Nonetheless, he tries to take a step, looking around at his blurry surroundings for any sign of his partner.
Hank grabs onto him before he can fall over as he attempts to start walking. His grip is strong but gentle against the cuts and bruises that litter Nick’s arms, and Nick thinks for a second about simply relaxing into Hank’s embrace, giving his battered body a rest, but he can’t let himself do that.
He pulls away instead, stubbornly refusing the help. “‘M fine,” he says, and even to his own ears it sounds like the least convincing thing in the world.
“You sure about that?”
He nods very slightly, making his head spin anyway.
“So if I just walk on out of here, you’ll follow behind me? No problem?”
“Yeah,” Nick says this time, not feeling like making himself dizzy again by nodding.
“Okay,” Hank agrees, and he turns to walk away. He gets all of ten steps before he’s turning back around.
“Okay, Nick, clearly you’re not okay. I was giving you the chance to tell me that, but if you’re gonna be stubborn about it then I’m gonna be stubborn about making sure you’re actually fine.”
As he says this, Hank walks closer to Nick, until he’s standing directly in front of him. Nick wonders what he’s seeing as Hank looks him up and down. Nothing good, surely. He’s bleeding from somewhere, he’s pretty sure. From multiple places, really, courtesy of all the shrapnel, but he can feel a spot on his torso that’s wetter than anywhere else.
The more he thinks about that particular injury, the more he can feel it, stabbing and sharp and uncomfortably warm. He thinks the blood loss might be getting to him a bit, as he feels his legs momentarily give out beneath him. He makes a quickly aborted attempt to sit down, and is about to collapse when he feels Hank’s arms wrap around his shoulders and guide him to the floor.
“What was that about being fine?” he asks, and Nick feels him gently touching the area around the wound in his torso, closing his own eyes so he doesn’t have to see it.
Nick shrugs halfheartedly, regretting the action when it causes an uncomfortable pull throughout his entire upper body. “‘S not that bad,” he mutters. They both know full well he’s had worse.
“You were caught in a damn explosion, Nick. Of course it’s that bad.” Hank’s familiar tone sounds equal parts concerned and exasperated. “I’m calling 911.”
“Hank…”
“Don’t you try and stop me. I know you’re not looking at it, and that’s probably a good idea, but you’ve got a big piece of glass sticking out of you, and I know you can feel it. You’re going to the hospital.”
A big piece of glass...Nick assumes that’s the thing causing the bulk of his bleeding. He kind of wants to look to make sure, but at the moment his closed eyes are holding back some of the dizziness and he really doesn’t want it coming back, so he decides to believe what Hank and his own other senses are telling him. There’s a large piece of glass in him. Probably some smaller ones too, he figures, given the general nature of explosions. Maybe there’s some metal mixed in there as well. He doesn’t need to see it. Doesn’t really want to, either.
“Don’t go falling asleep on me,” Hank warns, and he taps Nick’s cheek.
“Not falling asleep,” Nick assures him. “Just not lookin’.”
“Yeah, that’s...probably a good idea,” Hank agrees, which definitely doesn’t make Nick feel any better. “Ambulance is ten minutes out,” he adds, and Nick finds himself momentarily surprised - when had Hank called 911? Had he been too out of it to notice? That thought scares him more than he’d like to admit. If he can’t count on his own senses, his own powers of detection, when he’s been mildly hurt, what kind of grimm is he? What kind of cop?
“Hey, hey, breathe, man. You’re gonna be okay,” Hank says, drawing Nick’s attention away from his momentary panic.
Is he going to be okay, though? A part of Nick wants to ask this of Hank, but a larger part of him tells him to stop. If Hank says he’s going to be okay, he has absolutely no reason to think otherwise. He tries to remind himself of that fact and attempts to take a deep breath to calm down, which catches in his throat and makes him cough in the dusty air. The sensation burns its way through his entire upper body, and when it finally dies down he’s left feeling fairly exhausted, tears dripping down his face from the exertion (and definitely just from the exertion. Not from pain or fear or anything else of that nature).
“How much longer?” he asks, or rather wheezes, to Hank. He coughs again, tasting the dust in the back of his throat.
“Seven minutes,” Hank says. “Do you wanna try and get out of here? Breathing in this dust isn’t doing either of us any favors.”
“You...good?” Nick asks, at the mention of the two of them, mentally kicking himself for not asking sooner. If something had happened to Hank...if he was ignoring it in favor of helping Nick…
“No, I’m fine,” Hank assures him. “A little dusty and sore, is all. You’re the one who needs worrying about.”
As much as he hates to agree, Hank has a point. While this isn’t the most severe bleed Nick has ever experienced, it’s definitely up there, and he can feel himself starting to go a bit lightheaded with the blood loss. Besides that, his lungs feel like they’re on fire and the hundreds of tiny cuts all over his body sting in the dusty air. He’d like very much to get out of here.
As though he’s read his mind, Hank says, “let’s go, yeah? I can see a path outside, and then at least you can breathe a little easier while we wait.”
Rather than reply, Nick simply acts, pushing his palms into the ground and trying to stand. Bits of glass and rock and metal and who knows what else dig into the already-cut skin and make his hands ache, and he barely gets to his knees before the dizziness returns and nearly sends him face-planting into the ground.
Hank catches him before that happens, again, and hauls Nick to his feet, not saying a word as Nick wraps a shaking arm around him to keep his balance. He waits a moment for Nick to get situated, then says, “might be a good idea to open your eyes.”
Nick forces his eyes open, blinking rapidly in the dust, squinting to see around the spots caused by dizziness. He looks at Hank and follows his eyes to what, sure enough, appears to be a relatively easy path out of the wreckage.
“Think you can walk?” Hank asks, and Nick imagines he doesn’t have much of a choice, so he takes a step.
Hank follows suit, his arm never leaving Nick’s shoulders. They stumble several times, and twice Nick nearly collapses, and by the time they get outside of the ruined building they’re both sweaty and exhausted and sore. They sink down side-by-side onto a patch of unharmed grass, breathing hard.
“Three minutes,” Hank says, and Nick thinks he’s never been so glad to hear an estimate of time in his whole life. He lets himself sink into Hank again, feeling Hank’s arm return to its position around his shoulders. Nick rests his head against the front of Hank’s shoulder and tries his best to breathe and stay awake as they wait for help to arrive.
thanks for reading this!!! nick is ok dont worry lol i just didnt wanna do Another hospital scene i am tired of those atm...anyway i hope you enjoyed! and relating to all this like i said in a previous post i just got back from the pnw mostly portland and i have a bit of grimm related stuff i can share if anyone wants! but yeah lmk :)
#grimm#nick burkhardt#caught in an explosion#disoriented#cut#supported#my writing#i say things#anyway a lot of good things on my trip :) i got a tattoo for example.
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Summer Heat
Summary: in which the reader and her husband Andy go for a nice bike ride amidst the summer heat.
I’m making this a headcanon (My 1st at that) bc I have zero inspo atm
yeah, there is a shameful self-promotion in here if you see it.
kinda unedited, so plz pardon any mistakes
Labor Day was right around the corner, signaling the ending of summer. Soon you’d be going back to work and now was the only time you could spend with your husband.
The weather was an enjoyable 70 degrees, perfect for a bike ride. One that Andy had suggested last night over dinner.
“And tomorrow’s high will be 73 degrees, ideal weather folks!” The meteorologist then tuned off for a commercial break as you turned your attention from the tv to Andy. You could see the gears sharply turning in his head, pensive, as he mindlessly picked at the chicken.
“Whatcha thinkin’ about babe?” Reaching across the table you lightly tapped Andy’s resting hand, his head popping up from his daydream.
“Huh? Oh!” Your words replayed in his head as he hadn’t heard them in the first place. “We should go for a bike ride tomorrow. Ya know before work starts, just you and me.”
Andy looked up to you and held your hand that was once gently laying on his. A winsome smile stretched across his face.
“Sounds like a plan, bestie.” Happy with your answer, Andy resumed his dinner, you getting up for some salad.
For the bike ride, you wore some light denim shorts and a simple cantaloupe colored t-shirt, Andy wearing a red short-sleeve button down and grey shorts.
While Andy removed the bikes from the racks in the garage, you situated two water bottles and both of your wallets and cell phones.
Upon entering the garage, you stopped dead in your tracks to see Andy lifting your cruiser bicycle off of the rack, his shirt practically hermetically sealed around his arms, the buttons struggling to hold on. Once your bike was down, he went to grab his own, watching you out of the corner of his eye, making sure his movements were slow.
The two of you always goofed around, whether that be making jokes or just teasing each other.
“Muscle, baby, muscle.” Walking by, you dropped Andy’s water bottle into the holder, then tapping on his biceps as he laughed deep within his gut. Before you could walk away, his arms caught your waist, spun you around and pressed a short yet sweet kiss to your lips.
Once the two of you had your things together, Andy closed the garage while you pulled out your phone, playing a Spotify playlist that you shared with your husband, a hodgepodge of many songs.
Starting out on the street in your neighborhood, you realized there wasn't a plan for the day.
“Hey ‘Drew, where are we going exactly?”
The two of you rode side by side, making it much easier to communicate and keep track of the other.
“Into town! I was thinking, ice cream!” A devious grin grew onto his face. Andy knew you wouldn’t say no and that’s exactly what happened.
Turning out of your neighborhood and onto the sidewalk, your phone suddenly switching from “Don’t Stop Believing” to “Wannabe.”
Visibly you cringed and shook your head, about to change the song suddenly noticing Andy... attempting to dance while biking, singing along to the words.
“C’mon babe! Sing along!” You laughed at your husband’s puerility.
Ever the ham, Andy was doing this to embarrass you, to which your giggles would most definitely erupt. Your nervous habit.
The man really didn’t care if any of yours or his friends drove by, you were his wife, someone he could be a total goober around.
Finally you caved in and joined him.
“If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give.”
Eventually after a couple of nostalgic songs, you both made it into town and at the ice cream parlor.
A bike rack was cemented out front of the shop, convenient for you and Andy to lock the bikes up there.
Walking into the ice cream parlor, you both were met with a rush of cold air, or maybe it was just cold because you had been biking for quite some time now.
“Hello.. Oh! Hi! Mr. & Mrs. Barber what can I get you?” The young girl’s personality lit up once she saw your faces. Everyone in the town of Newton pretty much knew who your husband was, also making you just as known.
Returning a friendly smile to the girl, you ordered three scoops of mint chip, your’s and Andy’s favorite ever since college. (As mentioned here hehe)
Taking two spoons, you sat at the table where Andy happily eyed the stack of ice cream sitting in the bowl in front of him. Handing him the spoon, you giggled as he immediately dug into the mint chip, looking at you utterly confused.
Mouthful of ice cream your man-child answered…
“Wut?”
Some ice cream dripped down his bearded chin and you quickly reached for the napkin, dabbing his chin and dramatically sighing.
“Why have a child when I have to take care of you?”
Removing your hand from his face, Andy just shrugged his shoulders going back to mining through the ice cream scoops.
Exiting the parlor, stomachs full, your arm was wrapped in Andy’s as you strolled to the bikes. Just as Andy was about to unlatch the bikes, you stopped him.
Looking across the street you pointed to the little dress shop, the displays in the window shining from the afternoon sun.
“I need a dress for that charity dinner, that may I remind you, is the one you are dragging me to!”
Andy’s work was hosting a gala for an extension on one of the buildings.
You didn’t want to go, but your husband had to be there. Of course he didn’t want to show up either, yet he’d rather suffer with you and your jocular complaining, there to entertain him.
Compliant with your request, you both crossed the street and entered the boutique, many rows of handmade dresses lining the aisles.
Andy picked out two dresses while you already had two of your own in hand. Gladly, you took his picks and headed straight for the dressing room, a bench in front of it so you could showcase.
The first dress was a dusty rose, A-Line, asymmetrical chiffon evening dress. It’s three-quarter sleeves, stopped directly at the elbow, perfect for the upcoming fall weather.
The party was the first week of October but you wanted to get this shopping over with now.
The second dress, Andy had picked out. A burgundy floor length gown, tank sleeves and a v-neck that was stunning. Along the left leg, a slit that ran up to your knee, presenting your legs and your future choice of heels.
When showing that dress to Andy he looked up from his phone, absolutely stunned. You were always able to take away his breath, as cheesy as it sounds.
The third dress, a navy blue maxi dress. Long lace sleeves that were surprisingly comfortable.
And finally, the fourth dress. A grey cold shoulder midi dress, with some lace on the chest.
All of the dresses Andy loved, which really didn’t help. You specifically brought him along for his opinion.
So maybe you were a little indecisive on your own…
After a few minutes of debating, you received an answer.
“I love the burgundy one.”
And you agreed with him.
At the counter, Andy fought you to buy the dress to which you stubbornly replied that you’d buy it yourself.
It was a running game in your marriage. The two of you would always “fight” over who would pay.
“Just save us from the knock-down drag-out and let me pay!”
You both were really too good for each other, but in the best way possible.
The lady at the shop had politely offered to hold the dress so you could come back and get it tailored tomorrow. Very helpful since you only had bicycles as the chosen mode of transportation.
By the time you had finished dress shopping, it was already time for dinner, the ice cream dissipating and no longer able to quench your hunger.
The bicycles were still latched to the rack as you and Andy sat on the bench beside it.
“You hungry?” You nodded and Andy pulled out his phone looking for places to eat, you doing the same.
Ten minutes later, Andy had found a pizza parlor about 3 miles away, an easy bike ride for you both.
The pizza parlor chosen was your typical family-run restaurant, simple yet delicious food.
After being seated, the two of you were starving, so hungry that when the waiter came for drink orders, you also put in the pizza order.
For the twenty minutes that ensued, you and Andy shared a basket of bread, making conversation about work and such.
When the pizza showed up on the table, it was like a saint had arrived. Your empty stomachs figuratively thanked you both at the first bite of pizza.
Like ravenous animals, you both scarfed down at least two slices in a matter of minutes. Pausing, Andy looked at you and you did the same.
Setting the pizza down, the two of you just started laughing at your messy guzzling, pizza sauce on both of your faces.
The people around you were probably confused at your sudden outbursts. Then again who cares?
Once again, you wiped Andy’s face, him doing the same to you. As you wiped the sauce from his beard, Andy caught your hand and kissed your wedding ring.
“You truly are my best friend, (y/n). I don’t deserve you.”
Andy was most certainly your best friend and you his.
Eeekkk im literally screaming. I looove andy. Sorry for the crappy writing, yet thanks for sticking through it.
#andy barber#chris evans#andy barber x reader#andy barber fanfiction#andy barber x you#andy barber imagine#chris evans x reader
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Unpacking my aversion to cis-het men - 08/12/2020
This is going to be a long one. One I’m quite nervous about posting about even when I’m here anonymously!
Will probably refer to cis-het men as men/guys generally in this post btw. & the ex I refer to here is a guy I was with for 5 years which was an emotionally abusive relationship.
I’ve recently started to challenge my feelings towards cis-het men. Accepting that I have the judgement that all men are basically weak minded by not challenging society as it is (and therefore accepting of all the oppression), and are desperately affected by toxic masculinity.
A small part of my brain knows that’s not true. I have a couple of cis-het male friends who I love and are clearly not like that. But when I think “what would be the problem if I ended up with a man in the future?” the other part of my brain immediately shuts the idea down like “why would you do such a thing?! you only like women, end of story”. Thinking that the guys who are open minded and unpacking their own priveleges/opinions etc. are so few and far between there is probably none left out there for me to meet.
So I decided to challenge this notion. And perhaps there is some underlying internal homophobia conflicting with these thoughts at the same time like “if I just gave men a chance.” or “it would be so much easier to just find a guy who is interested in me” (there is a lot underlying that quote tho - not that many wlw in my area, my personal feelings towards myself as to how cis-het men perceive me).
Along with challenging this notion, I have basically been craving to be dominated and penetrated in the bedroom, with no particular strings attached. The people I’ve slept with this year weren’t great experiences and I just wanted someone to push me around and top me. I know there are women who would gladly do that but the women I tend to date haven’t been like that and I’ve always been more of the top than the bottom. I have never entertained a guy for sex where I have decided for myself that this is what’s going to happen, I’ve always been pursuaded into it (I didn’t learn about consent until the last couple of years, clearly). I wanted to feel that control. I wanted to be the one to say, I’ve decided this this time. And to see, how I would actually feel given that this was something I wanted and not sort of forced onto me.
I changed my Bumble search to include “everyone”. Note that I had also ran out of women in my search radius by this stage so it was just men coming up now. It was interesting. I noticed that there are a lot of guy profiles that are basically the same - “where can you be found after work? the gym” or “what do you quote too much from? the office, US”. Literally after swiping for about 10 minutes I could have written the exact same profile as like 40% of these profiles I was now faced with.
I obviously ended up swiping left for the majority of guy profiles. I paid more attention to the men who had kind eyes, nice smiles, beards (I love a beard strangely enough), and anything interesting in their profile. I struggled to swipe right on white men in particular. I think this makes sense due to:
my ex being white and racist (and I have a tendency to want to get as far as possible from this particular ex),
a close friend who was my only white cis-het friend who then turned out to be a racist tory
my dad who is white, racist and homophobic (not terribly but enough to make me uncomfortable to discuss anything with him).
Plus the general consensus that white cis-het men are the most priveleged in society and they can never understand someone like me, right? Let alone have done any of the unpacking and learning about their own privilege..
I matched with a few guys and had brief conversations with them before getting overwhelmed about messaging people on dating apps (happens whenever I can’t keep on top of messaging like more than one person at a time). There were some okay chats, nothing overly flirty. Some voicenotes which freaked me out a little, not 100% sure why hearing men’s voices so early after speaking to someone online scares me, but it’s probably because I’m not as comfortable sending voicenotes myself.
There was a lot of me saying to myself “what am I doing?! LOLOLOL”
I’m going to talk about one of the guys in particular now. We’ll call him Z. Z’s profile was very minimal, basically just said “ask if you want to know more”. But he had a nice face, lovely smile, and his first picture even looked quite feminine in the face - he has super long eyelashes and due to the lockdown hair he was wearing a hairband. He’s Asian (Sikh) like my two closest friends. I have spoken to him more than any of the other matches from Bumble. We don’t really talk much of substance. I told him I’m “basically a lesbian” quite early on and he told me he’d been healing from a long relationship and was now “ready to have some fun”. He didn’t seem particularly phased that I was into women, didn’t say anything cringey like “don’t worry, I’ll turn you” (which is what I used to get when I was younger). This pushed the conversations in a direction where it was kind of agreed that this was all a bit of fun - flirty, sexual.
My first experience with a guy being interested me back in high school eventually turned into a FWB situation so this type of relationship I am used to and basically expect from men.. I’m not particularly bother by this atm but might unpack this some more at some point.
Anyway, as me and Z are just having some fun, I’ve not been vulnerable or told him much about things I care about - I don’t even think he knows my full name. It has actually been a breath of fresh air when I’ve been with people who are too intense for me throughout my dating life. He is very much the kind of person I would never usually interact with too- likes and plays football, hangs with a group of “lads”. I don’t think we have anything in common yet we still manage to chat (albeit with gaps of many hours in between some messages).
What did interest me about Z quite early on in our conversations is that he never said the word “girls”, always “women”. I pointed this out to him and he confirmed he did that on purpose because he wouldn’t want to be referred to as a “boy” and that women deserve the same language used when referencing grown ass women. This sticks in my mind as it definitely broke down one of my mental barriers around men not being able to understand “what’s the big deal”. I think that’s probably why I’ve managed to speak to him for as long as we have. Later on he also mentioned that people “can’t be fat shaming” which surprised me even more. (Does my brain think cis-het men live under a rock or something?!).
We’ve been speaking 3 weeks at this stage. We agreed to meet this weekend. We ended up delaying it from Sunday to last night (Monday) because he was tired from a busy weekend and “wanted to give me the full experience”. Surprisingly this didn’t make me super cringe. I think I was probably more relieved to delay it another day as I was pretty nervous about how it would go, my head overthinking like - what if we have nothing to talk about? what if he comes all this way and I change my mind (as I am of course allowed to)? what if he’s a catfish and hurts me? etc. etc. I don’t overthink this much when I date women.
So he was on his way. I was running in circles getting ready like “WHAT AM I DOING?!!!”. I had some rum to take the edge off and played the piano anxiously while he was on the way as something to take my mind off thinking about what was about to happen.
He arrived. He was who he said he was. He was the person who was in his pictures. He was slightly slimmer than I expected but that was just the angles that his pictures were taken in. It wasn’t awkward. I poured us a drink and we sat on the sofa and chatted for a couple of hours. He talked a lot, I hardly got a word in edgeways. I didn’t mind as it put me at ease that there was no awkward silences.
We finished our drinks. I hadn’t left the heating on in my lounge so it had gotten quite cold.. I got closer to him. Then we kissed. It was nice. I love kissing anyone who’s a good kisser no matter their gender. The excitement of the whole situation turned me on and we took it to my bedroom.
I struggled to look at him naked although when I did, I didn’t feel strange like I thought I would. Obviously there is nothing wrong with the male form, I just haven’t seen a dude naked in my bedroom for years and when I was younger I used to tell myself I had phallophobia.. The sex was pretty much what I was looking for. He didn’t bring a condom though which didn’t annoy me loads in the moment, despite him saying “I prefer without but ok” to which I replied “I don’t know where you’ve been” *eye roll*. I thankfully had my own condoms (my stash usually for making dental dams, yno) but after I was kind of thinking to myself like “who the fuck goes to have casual sex with someone and doesn’t bring a condom when they have a penis?!”. I didn’t even let my ex bare-back me let alone some random dude.
Anyway, I did it. Consensual sex was better than any sex I had with my ex (not surprising). He didn’t make me climax but it felt good (sex isn’t goal orientated for me but I know it was for him, as I assume it is with most men). We held each other and chatted naked for a while after. I think he wanted round 2 but I’m not sure I could have handled it. He left relatively promptly after and I felt.. content.
I think I got what I wanted out of the experience. It definitely boosted my confidence. I’m not sure if I’ll see him again yet. I definitely still feel very queer and mostly into women, I missed boobs a lot (like what do het-women hold onto?).
Part of me is like “okay next step is to see what it would be like to go on a romantic date with a guy” - something I have never ever done. I don’t think I’ve been interested in it in the past (since growing up that is). I can’t even imagine what it would be like because I would probably just treat them as my friend and have no clue how to flirt (if I even wanted to flirt). But there are many conflicting thoughts about dating men romantically - what if it’s a success? I’d end up feeling disowned by my new queer friends or judged by them, or what if I hurt someone? how will dating guys impact how I feel about my own queerness?? I just settled back into my queer identity and now it feels I’m going backwards again.
I am definitely enjoying this new side to me that doesn’t take dating seriously and being comfortable that I don’t want a relationship right now and that’s okay! I am continually learning about myself and trying to breakdown my own barriers so I can be my most true authentic self. I’m having fun, and doing what’s best for me. Which is a complete u-turn on the person I was less than a few years ago who just wanted to please everyone and was so depressed and burnt out doing so.
#cishet#cishet men#queer#queer identity#questioning#lgbt#lgbtq#lgbtqia#lgbtqiia+#queer uk#queeruk#dating#casual#identity#authentic self#relationships#heteronormativity#flirting#casual sex#dating men#men#cis het men#heterosexual#heteronormative society#challenge#self challenge#personal growth#unpacking
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Tag Game - Get to Know Me
Answer the questions below and tag 11 people you want to know better!
i was tagged by @moody-typos and it looked like fun so i thought why not.
. • . • . • . • .
1. What do you prefer to be called name wise?
silv, silvy, or silvana. i don’t particularly mind as these are all technically the same. so all of them i guess are my preferred name.
2. When is you birthday?
june 26th!
i like to remark that’s the day the US legalized gay marriage in all 50 states back in 2015 so i was born to be gay. 🏳🌈🌈
3. Where do you live? (You don’t have to give city, you can give the state if you’re USA or country if you’re overseas)
US if the previous statement wasn’t obvious.
another hint: it’s hot and it rains too much here. good luck finding me~
4. Three things you are doing right now?
writing ( non-fanfic work ), listening to music ( FEEL NOTHING atm ), & working on headcanon requests from my inbox.
5. Four Fandoms that have your peak interest right now?
my hero academia, ikemen sengoku, mr. love queen’s choice, & castlevania. these are currently my most consistent hypes that won’t let me go.
6. How has this pandemic been treating you?
at first i thought it would be great but i’ve been stuck inside ( i literally have not been passed my mailbox or even near it ) for 3 months or so now. i’m ready for it to be over because i would like to enjoy my summer while i still have the opportunity.
overall i’m stressing myself out and unmotivated to do a lot of things.
7. A song you can’t stop listening to right now?
Contagious by NIGHT RIOTS, been obsessed with it since February of 2019.
but i also recommend:
Fashion Forward (Acoustic) by The Home Team
I Miss Having Sex But At Least I Don’t Wanna Die by Waterparks
8. Recommend a movie.
Birdbox. Sandra Bullock is in it ( reason enough for me ) it’s a great sort of horror/thriller movie that really builds suspense by your imagination. if you’re easily scared i do not recommend it because your mind will definitely work against you.
A milder movie ( that isn’t horror ) would be Mad Money. it is a hilarious movie about 3 women from entirely different backgrounds that work at and rob a high security bank ( and all for different reasons ). the characters are quirky and well put together.
both are on the US netflix but i’m not sure about anywhere else.
9. How old are you?
not old enough to drink yet. yet.
10. School, University, Occupation, Other?
i’m in university. i’m studying to become an accountant ( but so far my business classes have only taught me how to destroy the economy in my favor while jumping through legal loopholes oof ).
11. Do you prefer heat or cold?
definitely cold. i hate both if we’re talking weather but i can cope with cold. i tend to get even more tired in the cold and it helps me sleep ( hibernate technically ).
12. Name one fact about you that others may find unusual.
well... if i’m being honest, i have very horrible eyesight ( i’m almost completely blind in one eye ) and people seem more than a little worried when i tell them i can incapacitate a humanoid target from a 100 yards ( ~92 meters, at least ) and i have the target poster to prove it.
i won’t get into it but if you want to know how that poor poster is doing just let me know.
13. Are you shy?
relatively. if i know you, i’m the loudest damn person you know, or if it’s a matter of discussion, i tend to have a very powerful persona ( or so i’m told ).
generally i will not talk to people and keep to myself though. people make me nervous and i struggle to cope with anxiety so i don’t go out of my way to talk to people ( so i just end up sneaking glances if you pique my interest but i can’t say anything to you ).
14. Do you have preferred pronouns?
i prefer they/them, however, i still align with female attributes so she/her is legit too. whichever, i’m not picky about it.
15. Biggest pet peeve?
slow walkers. this might not be #1 but it’s definitely up there. i walk incredibly fast ( especially for a person with short legs ) and have long strides. if you’re in front of me and blocking my way, you can bet i’m going to mow you over. i will not slow down.
16. What is your fave ‘dere’ type?
the first one to come to mind was yandere and it’s probably true. it’s the mindset of the yandere that draws me in. if they’re written and played out well they become people who we’re teetering on the edge of becoming if we aren’t careful. i love that terrifying feeling of “i could be that if i just step wrong”.
17. Rate your life 1-10, 1 being really crappy and 10 being best it could ever be.
i really don’t want to do that, because i’m in an okay place and sometimes i’m in bad or good, but really it depends on the moments, people, and little messages that make it better. just depends on the time of day.
18. What is your main blog?
@moonsirens
haven’t honestly decided what i’ll do with it so it will probably just be a repost and dump?
19. List your side blogs and what they are used for.
one of them is private that i can’t tag & it’s used for roleplay stuff ( aesthetics, character files, images, etc ).
@spellbound-doodles which is my art blog i am still to chicken to post to. i should but sharing personal works, stories, & art is really hard for me ( a best friend had to make an instagram for my art for me to get me to start posting! )
20. Is there anything you think people need to know about you before becoming friends with you?
expect me to bother you about my dog and the horrible jokes my brother made that i absolutely have to share because they made me laugh so hard i cried.
also, footnote, i’m satan soooo-
but that’s a story for another time.
. • . • . • . • .
tagging : most people i’m vaguely familiar with have been tagged, so i guess whoever wants to snatch it up and give it a shot? i’ll tag you then-
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i’ll be your light (i will guide you home)
Chapter 1 - “Tour groups sure are fun, aren’t they?”
My contribution to the @itfandomprompts IT Fandom Week day 3: Summer Romance AU This started simple, but I got super carried away so now it’s a multi-chaptered thing oops I’m not even sorry
Summary:
Eddie is on his summer vacation when he meets the charming tour guide Richie Tozier, and even though he's only staying there for five days, that doesn't stop Eddie from falling utterly and completely in love.
Word count: 6908 Pairing: Reddie Rating: Explicit (this chapter isn’t, but there will be sexual content in a later chapter) Warnings: Mentions of sex, drinking alcohol, cursing
READ ON AO3 HERE
Eddie had always dreamt of travelling across Europe with train. Ever since listening to Bev and Ben talk about the trip they went on the summer three years ago, it was all he wanted to do. From Berlin to Prague to Paris, then Budapest and Brussels, to Munich and Amsterdam, all these wonderful places he’d heard so much about, but never seen for himself.
Ben had been his best friend ever since they were kids and they had stayed that way until they finished high school. Beverly had come into their lives the senior year when Ben started dating her, and she’d fit in so well with them that it felt natural to go from a duo to a trio. And even though they were couple, the two of them never acted in a way that made Eddie feel like he was third-wheeling.
It had been Beverly who had wanted to go to Europe that summer after graduation, the adventurous girl that she was, and so her and Ben planned it together, saving up tons of money for the train tickets. If Eddie was honest, he had been horrified at the thought of travelling like that, three weeks with no permanent place to stay, living in shitty motels, a new one every couple of days.
Didn’t seem like a very relaxing vacation if you asked him.
But when the two of them had returned, they had seemed like new people, suntanned and happier than Eddie had ever seen them.
And the stories they told, oh wow, Eddie had gotten so jealous. How beautiful the Eiffel Towel looked at night when it lit up, how it would sparkle for a couple of minutes every passing hour after dark. How devastating it was in Berlin when they heard all the terrible stories about concentration camps and the Berlin wall during a tour, but yet how cool some of the artwork on the wall was. How good the waffles were in Brussels (the best they’d ever tasted) and how there was a five-story nightclub in Prague with a different theme for each floor.
“You should have seen it!” Beverly had said. “It closed at 7am and when we left our motel, I’d thought no way in hell are we staying that long. I was thinking like maybe we’d leave around 3am or something? But then the hours just flew past, and we danced and drank- it cost less than two bucks a beer, did you know that? Two fucking bucks! Anyways, before I knew what was happening the club was emptying out and I was all like, what’s happening, where is everybody going? We had been partying for six hours straight without even noticing! All night long!”
“Wow”, Eddie had said, not quite able to imagine Ben partying all night. They hadn’t even been old enough to drink in the states at that point.
But then there was the story from Paris about the motel they’d stayed at. They’d gotten to the city late that day and after checking into the motel. They’d gone out for a late-night dinner, and then when they’d gotten back at around 11pm, there had been a random man sleeping in their bed.
“We were just walking in, chatting quietly and planning to go to bed when Bev saw him”, Ben had explained. “She’d quieted down as I was rummaging around in my suitcase, poking at my shoulder frantically and pointing at the bed. So we quickly left and checked out of the hotel, I mean… we couldn’t stay.”
“Yeah! And we didn’t even get our money back”, Bev had added.
“Yeah, but it was an interesting experience.”
“And it’s turned into a great story.”
Eddie had listened with wide eyes, knowing that he himself would have been terrified. If it was that easy breaking into a motel room, he was definitely not ever staying in one. Beverly had only laughed when telling the story though, so she was obviously not that traumatized by the incident.
Oh yes, Eddie sure dreamed of purchasing that Interrail ticket and just go. Only he’d book some proper hotels just to be on the safe side. Then again, he didn’t want to do it alone, but his friends weren’t able to come with. They had spent too much on their Interrail that one summer, making it impossible for them to afford a trip that expensive again. And even though he’d asked them every single year since, hoping they’d say yes, they’d only apologetically shaken their heads instead.
Eddie didn’t use to see himself as a person who liked to travel, but he’d definitely changed his mind. Who was he to decide that when he hadn’t even tried it? Besides, he’d lived his whole life in Derry, and he craved to get out. His fingers had been itching all year, a deep pain in his chest festering with every day passing, and it was summer again. And finally, he was going on his first travelling experience.
And okay, so it wasn’t interrailing across Europe, but instead the west coast of the US. And fine, it wasn’t l’Arc du Triomphe and Belgian Chocolate, but instead Hollywood and maybe the Grand Canyon if he was lucky. And yes all right, it wasn’t with his friends, but with his Ma.
But at least they were travelling by train.
Oh, who was he kidding, he was on a vacation with the one person he needed a vacation from. And it wasn’t that he hadn’t looked forward to visiting California and Nevada and seeing their beautiful cities and nature, but he had truly struggled a whole lot getting real excited about it.
As he stepped out into the LA light for the first time in his life, suitcase in hand and grease in his hair, he felt the Hollywood sun blind his vision, and for a second he was overwhelmed at the contentment settling in his chest. Closing his eyes he let himself breathe in the thick air, and he smiled slightly to himself. After the four-hour ride, it was nice to finally move his feet again. They’d had to get up at 7am to take the train that left at 8:30am, and even though he was tired, Eddie was glad to have the whole extra day to spend there.
Los Angeles was their third destination, and one of the longest stays on their trip (four nights, five days), and it was definitely the one he had looked the most forward to.
“I’ve booked us a tour in Hollywood at 3pm”, his Ma said from next to him, already holding a map of the city. “I think we have time to get to our hotel and leave our baggage there before going out again.”
“Do I have time for a shower?”
He hadn’t had time for his routinely morning shower, and he was starting to feel gross. Earlier on the train, he’d put on a sweater on top of his t-shirt to hide the sweat patches under his arms. And even though that’d only made him sweat more, it had made him more comfortable, knowing he could move his arms properly without everyone seeing.
“I think so.”
So that’s what they did, and soon later, at 2:58pm, the two of them were standing with a tour group in the walk of fame, waiting for the tour guide to show up.
“Oh, hold on”, his Ma said suddenly, rummaging through her purse. “I need to take out some cash.”
“I think I saw an ATM around the corner back there.” Eddie pointed back to where they had come from.
“Good, I’ll be right back.” And she was gone.
Uncomfortable he looked around at the tour group, all evident tourists in shorts and tank tops with backpacks and maps in their hands. A group of girls in their twenties had dressed up in what they’d probably call ‘Instagram worthy outfits’ with caked makeup (one of them had overdrawn her lips a whole lot with bright red lipstick), all holding phones ready in their perfect manicured hands. There were a few couples there, one specifically who wasn’t able to keep their hands off of each other. The girl was stroking the guy’s arm way too sensually for the public eye to see, and Eddie looked away uneasily. Then there was what seemed to be a Scandinavian family, all of them blonde and pretty. The dad was wearing an ugly beige baseball hat with a moose on it, and Eddie wrinkled his nose.
“Tour groups sure are fun, aren’t they?” A raspy voice interrupted Eddie’s observations from behind him, and he spun around frantically.
A tall man seeming to be around the same age as Eddie was smiling down at him, crooked teeth on full display. With the sun suddenly blinding him, Eddie put up a hand over his eyes to block the bright light, and he could see the man properly now.
With a mop of dark curly hair and pretty blue eyes behind massive glasses, he managed to make Eddie speechless for a couple of seconds.
“Uh…”
“In this unbearable heat, this should be a lot of fun, don’t ya think?” the man continued, lifting his eyebrows in expectation of an answer.
“Sure.” Eddie felt completely and utterly awkward, not really the best at talking to strangers, and especially not tall, lanky guys with shining eyes and a charming smile.
“You here alone?” he asked, either seeming to not notice Eddie’s awkwardness or simply choosing to ignore it.
“I’m with my mom, she had to go take out some cash.” He pointed with his thumb behind him.
“Aah”, the guy nodded his head. “A nice family vacation then?”
Eddie shrugged. “It’s fine.” He groaned internally at his lame answers, for some reason wanting to impress this guy and for him to find Eddie interesting enough to keep talking to him. There was no denying that the man was cute.
“Well Hollywood’s real nice, lots of fun things to do, so I’m sure you’ll have a great time.” The man poked Eddie’s upper arm with his elbow, a playful smile on his pink lips.
“Well”, Eddie fumbled, looking down at his watch to see that the tour was supposed to start four minutes ago. “As long as the tour guide bothers to show up, then maybe I will.” He laughed, a little awkwardly.
The man creased his eyebrows, a semi-shocked expression taking over his face, and Eddie regretted his words instantly, scared he was coming off as mean.
He continued looking at him for a few seconds, but then his facial expression turned amused. He laughed slightly, just a small huff coming out his nose. “Yeah, kinda douche baggy to not show up for the tour you’re guiding, am I right?”
Eddie breathed out in relief, his next words flowing out of him before he could even think. “Right? Bad enough getting stood up by a date, but by the tour guide? I’m heartbroken”, he said sarcastically, trying for a small smile.
The guy only laughed more, Eddie joining in carefully before the two of them stopped and a comfortable silence settled between them.
“What’s your name?” the guy asked.
“It’s Eddie.”
“It was very nice meeting you Eddie, but I kinda need to get goin’. I’m late for work.” He winked at him, and Eddie could feel disappointment already forming in his chest, the pride he’d felt from making this pretty man laugh disappearing quickly.
But then the guy just stepped back a little, reached into the back pocket of his shorts and took out a black baseball hat. In confusion, Eddie looked as the guy put it on and clapped his hands loudly, attracting the attention from the other tourists.
“Alright, guys! Welcome to Hollywood. I’m Richie and I’ll be your tour guide today.” Eddie could feel all the heat in his cheeks disappear immediately, heart picking up speed. Looking at the man’s, Richie’s, hat, he noticed that it clearly said ‘tour guide’ in big red letters.
Oh, how Eddie had messed up.
“I’m sorry I was a little late, I got distracted”, he looked over at Eddie briefly; something of a small secret smile forming on his lips as they locked eyes, and he winked. “I’ll start by telling you a little bit about the background of the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and then we’ll walk down it after, sounds alright?”
The group gave scattered ‘yes’-es and nods of their head.
He noticed just then that his Ma was back by his side. “This will be so much fun, Eddie-bear”, she whispered to him, clapping her hands silently together.
He could only nod, his eyes locked on Richie.
The guided tour lasted for about two hours, and more than once Richie would look over at Eddie with that same smile and a spark in his eyes. Being funny and cracking dry jokes, he made the tour group laugh a lot between the informative parts of his script. Eddie didn’t doubt the jokes were scripted too, probably not the first time he was saying them today.
When it ended they were in the middle of the most popular part of the Walk of Fame, where there were tourists taking pictures with impressionists that had dressed up like Darth Vader and Spiderman and look-alikes of Justin Bieber and Britney Spears.
It was chaotic to say the least, and Eddie just wanted to get something to eat, starting to get tired from all the walking and still worn-out from the lack of sleep after the early train-ride.
“Let’s get something to eat, Ma”, he turned to her.
“Sure, bear”, she started looking around for a restaurant. “That tour was great, wasn’t it?”
“Sure.”
She reached down in her purse to take out her wallet. “I have some cash here, maybe you could go tip the guide a little while I find somewhere to eat?” She placed a five-dollar bill in his hand.
He nodded his head, and she smiled before taking out her phone, probably to search up different eating locations in the nearby area.
As Eddie started walking towards Richie, he noticed him already looking at him. It seemed like he was talking to the Scandinavian family, and they were laughing at something he’d said.
“Well, I’m glad you enjoyed the tour! Have a great vacation!” Eddie heard him say. The family all said their thanks before scattering away just as he stepped up in front of Richie.
“Uhm, the tour was really great”, he reached out his hand, the tip between his fingers.
“Thanks”, Richie smiled and took the cash, their hands brushing for a second.
“And I’m really sorry for earlier, I’m absolutely mortified”, Eddie admitted, shaking his head with wide eyes.
Richie only smiled wider, eyes squinting at the bight sun in his eyes. “Don’t be, it was cute. And it was funny, I mean, you were right, so…”
Eddie chuckled sarcastically. “No seriously, that was totally uncalled for. The tour really was great.”
“Well, I’m glad, and I accept your apology”, Richie winked again.
“Alright, well, bye then”, Eddie smiled sadly at the thought of having to leave. Honestly, Eddie didn’t really ever get much attention from guys. Being gay had made it difficult for him to flirt obviously, having more than once been shot down by straight guys who’d told him things like ‘sorry, dude, I’m not gay’ in their most bro-voice, even close to sounding offended at the accusations that they might be.
But this time, Eddie was sure they’d had some sort of connection; at least Richie had seemed to be flirting with him. Or maybe he was only being friendly, and Eddie was seeing things that weren’t there, letting the excitement of being flirted with get the best of him.
He started to walk away, missing the way Richie’s smile dropped when he turned around.
“No, wait!” Richie yelled after him.
Eddie spun around. “What?”
“Are you free tonight?” he sputtered out in a rush.
The question caught Eddie off guard, and he stopped for a second to collect his thoughts. “I, uhh…”
Richie interrupted him before he could continue.
“Because yeah, being a tour guide is my job and all, you know, gotta make that bank and gets that moneys.” He rubbed his fingers together in a ‘cash’-gesture. “But I also play in a band? And we’re playing a concert tonight at this local pub. It’s not too far from here actually, but in a little more of a secluded area than the Walk of Fame, you can see how it is.” Richie was rambling, sounding almost nervous. “I just mean, maybe you’d like to come? Not to be rude or assuming, but you don’t really seem to be having the best time on your vacation, and I get that, especially if you only have your mom to hang out with. So I just thought maybe this would be fun? Getting to experience a normal LA night out and not just the façade that the tourists see when they visit, ya know? And I’d also really like to see you again too, and uhm…”
He stopped himself, scratching timidly at his neck and finally realizing he’d been talking for way too long. With his monologue, Eddie’s smile had grown larger by the second, absolutely charmed by the cute man in front of him.
The hat was still perched on his head, dark curls pushing out from underneath it, and in a way it framed his head in a weird way, but it only made him even more mesmerizing to watch. Now that he was no longer silhouetted by the sun, but instead lit up by it, Eddie could get a good look at his face.
With freckles all over his pale skin and blue eyes glittering in the shadow from his hat, he was now looking at Eddie with a blush on his face and a crooked smile playing on his lips. He still had some awkwardness to him, being much taller than Eddie with gangly limbs and eyes magnified behind his glasses.
In a way, Eddie was surprised at the nervous ramble Richie had just stammered out after seeming to be so smooth when they first started talking.
All in all, the man was undeniably charming and cute, and Eddie would love to see him again. So he nodded, trying to hold back the wide smile that was trying to force its way onto his face. “I’d love to.”
Seeming almost surprised, Richie breathed out in relief. “Shit, that’s… Uh, that’s great! It starts at 10:30pm, and we have a soundcheck at 7. But I have time after that, so I can probably meet you here at 9 then? And we can walk there together?”
“Sounds great”, Eddie nodded, smiling widely. “I’m really looking forward to it.”
Richie’s grin grew bigger. “Me too.”
Silence settled over them, both smiling at each other shyly.
“Eddie!” They were interrupted by the voice of his Ma. They both turned, and she was waving Eddie over. “I found an Italian place that looks pretty nice!”
“Coming, Ma!” He turned back to Richie, hands on his hips. “I have to go.” He nodded his head in the direction of his Ma.
“Okay.” Richie cocked his head to the side. “You like Italian?”
“Yeah.”
“Alright, important question. Pizza or pasta?”
Eddie snickered lightly, his laughter fading into a thoughtful ‘uh’. “I think pizza.”
Richie nodded his head approvingly. “Pizza’s a good choice. I prefer pasta myself.” Then he pressed his lips together to suppress a smile. “I mean you’re quite the snack, Spagh-Eddie.” He amplified the pronunciation by splitting up the words, putting extra pressure on the last part.
Eddie sputtered. “Oh, god, that’s…” he shook his head. “That’s so bad.”
“Oh, what can I say, I’m quite the bad boy.” Richie winked.
Eddie put up his hands with a shocked scoff. “Nuh uh, nope, I’m cancelling our plans, this is goodbye.”
Of course he was kidding, and Richie knew that, if the amused smile on his face was anything to go by. “Nah, you’re too charmed by me.”
And of course Richie was just messing around, but Eddie couldn’t help but smile genuinely. “Yeah, I am.”
Richie’s eyebrows rose slightly, seeming to process Eddie’s admission. “Oh.”
“I’ll see you at 9”, Eddie said before Richie could say anything else. “Bye.”
Then he turned around and started walking towards his Ma, barely catching the dazed ‘bye’ from Richie.
His Ma looked impatient, tapping her foot on one of the stars with a name Eddie had never heard before.
“What took so long?”
Eddie kept quiet for a second, considering what to tell her. “I have plans tonight.”
“What?” She gaped. “But we’re on a vacation together, the two of us.”
“I know, Ma”, Eddie sighed. “But he asked if I wanted to go to a pub tonight, and I really want to.”
“No, I’m not allowing that”, she declared.
“You don’t get to decide that”, he snapped. “Ma, I’m 22 now, you can’t stop me from doing things for myself.”
She only grumbled, unlocking her phone to open the maps app. It was obvious the discussion was over, nothing she could do about it.
The pasta restaurant was nice, Eddie not being able to resist ordering spaghetti, settling for the Bolognese and thinking about Richie the entire time. He kept catching himself smiling into his pasta whenever he thought about the night he had in store.
It was around 7:45pm when they arrived back at the hotel, and Eddie only had about 45 minutes until he had to leave. Quickly washing his face and armpits and brushing his teeth, he managed to mentally prepare what outfit he wanted to go with. He ended up with some high-waisted washed-out denim jeans and a light copper-colored t-shirt with a little chest pocket. Something simple that wasn’t trying too hard, but still cute enough to look good. A simple styling of his hair and he was out the hotel door, ten minutes early.
His Ma didn’t even look at him when he passed her bed on his way out, but he didn’t care, only putting on his white denim jacket and converse. “Don’t wait up”, he mumbled before closing the door.
It was getting chillier outside, and he was happy he chose jeans instead of shorts, knowing it’d get colder as the night progressed. Taking his time walking, knowing he was early, he appreciated the sight of the city. The sun had set only a little while ago, and the sky was still a pretty turquoise where it had gone down.
Turning the final corner, he could see the spot they were supposed to be meeting in the short distance, and he quickly noticed Richie already standing there. Eddie looked down on his watch. 8:52pm.
Richie was rocking back and forth on his heels, seeming to fix the way his jean jacket was looking and pulling up his pants and adjusting his belt, and Eddie could feel excitement build in his stomach at the sight.
Then Richie looked up, finally noticing Eddie getting closer and he waved, and soon the two of them were in front of each other, shy smiles on their faces.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
Another silence followed, neither of them knowing how to continue. Richie gestured with his hand. “Shall we?”
“We shall”, Eddie agreed, and the two of them started walking, Richie leading the way.
They chattered a little along the way, Richie asking about what music Eddie liked (“80’s pop divas and Ariana Grande”, he’d replied honestly, refusing to be ashamed of himself even though he knew that most likely Richie didn’t listen to any of that stuff. “What about you?” “Oh, I prefer rock and hip hop mostly, a little indie sometimes and like you, I really love stuff from the 80’s, just maybe not the same artists”, he winked.), and telling him about the band he played in.
Richie talked about how it was his dream to make it with his band, but was also content with the idea of just having it as a hobby if they weren’t able to. Even though Eddie asked, Richie didn’t want to reveal too much of what kind of music they played (“you’ll just have to wait and see, Spaghetti”), but Eddie learned that Richie played guitar as well as being the lead singer.
When they finally got to the pub, there were several people waiting in line to get in.
“They don’t open the pub until 10pm, but because I’m in the band, we can get in early”, Richie whispered into his ear, and after a quick text, the doorman opened the entrance. He narrowed his eyes at Eddie, but Richie only smiled and said: “he’s with me” and the two of them were let in after a quick ID-check.
It was weird seeing a pub so empty, only a couple handfuls of people sitting around, most of them looking like employees.
“I’ll buy you a drink, what do you want?” Richie asked.
“You don’t need to do that.”
“Oh, sure I do!” he waved his hand in dismissal. “I invited you here, and besides, I get a discount because I’m playing tonight.
“Oh, sure then, I guess.” Eddie smiled. “Just a beer is fine.”
“Comin’ right up”, and he was off, leaving Eddie standing there alone.
Eddie wiped his clammy hands on his jean-clad thighs uncomfortably, not knowing what to do. There were three people sitting in a booth by the window, not looking like they worked there. Probably Richie’s band, Eddie thought.
They were looking at him curiously, but when they noticed he’d caught them staring, they quickly looked away, resuming their conversation. He walked over to where Richie was standing by the bar, seeing the newly poured beer being handed to him by the bartender.
“Thanks, man”, Richie said before turning to see Eddie standing right next to him. “Here ya go.”
“Thanks”, Eddie said, grabbing the beer, their hands brushing again. Richie kept his fingers on Eddie’s for a second longer this time, stroking his index finger with his thumb softly before pulling away. The tiny touch made electricity course through Eddie’s veins, from the tips of his fingers and down to his toes. Even in the darkness, he could see the way Richie’s cheeks turned a pretty pink color, and feeling the heat in his own cheeks, Eddie knew his face looked the same.
Richie then introduced Eddie to his bandmates, the three from the booth. There was Stan, a dirty-blonde haired man in a black turtleneck with good cheekbones; he played guitar. There was Bill on bass: a tall man with red hair and an attractive authority. And then there was Mike on drums: a handsome dark-skinned man with the kindest smile Eddie had ever laid eyes on. They all shook his hand politely, Mike apologizing for their staring earlier.
“Just Richie who’s been talking about you non-stop all day”, Stan laughed, teasing Richie by elbowing him in his side.
The three of them laughed at Richie’s expense, and Eddie couldn’t help the happy smile forming on his lips at their words, trying to hide it by looking down at the table. Richie just flipped him off even though the blush on his cheeks was undeniable.
“Alright guys, way to embarrass me”, he groaned. He was sitting next to Eddie in the booth, their thighs pressed together. Eddie felt something like bravery edging him on, and he let his hand drift over to Richie’s leg, laying his hand gently just above his knee.
Seeing Richie’s head snap towards him immediately in his peripheral vision and feeling his gaze burn into the side of his face, he slowly looked over shyly. “This okay?” he whispered so only Richie could hear.
“Uh, yeah.” Richie was staring at him so intensely, bright eyes seeming to study Eddie’s face. But then he looked away, and soon after Eddie could feel the gentle touch of Richie’s hand land on top of his.
Putting his elbow on the table, Eddie leaned his chin in his hand, covering his mouth with the palm to hide his wide smile.
First 10pm rolled by, the pub quickly filling up with people, and then it was 10:15 and the band had to go backstage to start their pre-concert routine. Eddie ended up standing by the bar, a nice view of the stage even through the mass of people in front on him.
Soon it was 10:30pm, and the band was exiting the back and stepping onto the stage, all of them turning on their amps and making sure everything was working the way it was supposed to. And then they were breaking out into their first song.
It started just with a groovy guitar riff from Stan and a drum beat. But soon it picked up, Richie playing a simply lead on his guitar and the bass joining in. Eddie wanted to dance already.
Richie stepped up to the microphone and started singing, the others joining in on backup vocals. His voice wasn’t the absolute best, but it worked well with the vibe of the song, the lyrics simple, but melody catchy, and Eddie found himself bop his head to the beat.
“I only see you when you’re walking”, Richie sang. “Walking to somewhere. You’re so restless.” Bill and Stan replying with an “aha, aha”.
“It must be special there”, he finished the chorus, gaze locked on Eddie as he backed away from the mic for an instrumental break. Moving with the music, he smiled widely, and he looked truly happy. There was no doubt about it that Richie belonged on that stage.
The crowd was dancing, some just nodding their head, while others were swaying back and forth. The entire atmosphere was magical, and it was obvious they had some actual fans in the front row, singing along and cheering louder than the rest of the audience. The sight made Eddie smile, feeling his shoulders relax, and he let out a content sigh.
Richie had bought him another beer before they’d left for backstage, but Eddie had already finished it, and he quickly waved down the bartender for another.
Their set lasted for another half hour (one song especially with a reggae vibe and lyrics that had made Eddie laugh was carved into his memory) when Richie announced they were playing their last song for the night. With cheeks starting to hurt (he hadn’t been able to stop smiling the entire time, feeling a happiness he hadn’t experienced in a while), he started cheering himself.
Their last song started with just Richie’s vocals.
“I wanna do something!” he yelled.
“What d’ya wanna do?” the others followed.
“Dance!” he finished before jumping into the first verse, and then the entire crowd was doing just that, even more than before. With time passing and intoxication rising, it seemed the people were less scared to dance.
As the chorus started, the hook going ‘I’m touching you, you’re touching me, I’m touching you, you’re touching me’, Eddie couldn’t help but start bouncing on his feet, the lyrics so easy that he found himself singing along.
As the band finished, the crowd was cheering loudly, and the four of them were happily standing on the stage proudly, accepting the applause. “Thank you all!” Richie yelled, and then they started packing up their gear and disappeared backstage, Richie winking at Eddie as he passed him.
Eddie stood standing by the bar, waiting and contently sipping at his beer. Feeling the warmth of the alcohol spreading through his body, he felt comfortable standing alone for a while. Not like before.
Soon he saw a body move next to his own and leaning against the bar. “Hello there.”
“Hi!” Eddie turned, hands moving wildly, energy taking over him after the show. “That was amazing! Those songs were so fun and catchy, wow, uhm, I had such a great time watching.”
Richie was grinning. “Oh, you sure know how to make a gal blush”, he said in a weird southern accent.
Eddie shook his head in amusement.
“No, but seriously, thank you.” Richie was leaning in closer, eyes boring into him.
“Can I buy you a beer?” Eddie asked. “After the amazing show you just pulled off, it’s well deserved.”
“Sure”, he kept his eyes on Eddie even as he ordered and paid, something special in the look on his face, head tilted back, his gaze powerful and the ghost of a smirk to be seen on his lips, which Eddie just noticed were invitingly plump and soft looking.
Something was bubbling in Eddie’s stomach, and he was pretty certain it wasn’t from the alcohol. Looking around he noticed there were no places available to sit, so the two of them ended up standing there for the next hour or so, drinking and chatting. When Richie heard what hotel Eddie was staying at, he excitedly told how he didn’t live too far from there. He shared an apartment with Stan, and they’d lived there together since they left high school two years ago. Something about the fact that his hotel was close to Richie’s home made a spark form in Eddie’s chest, heart picking up the slightest of speed.
They were moving closer to each other by the second, Richie’s hand landing on Eddie’s waist at some point.
After a while, Richie looked over Eddie’s shoulder quickly before looking back at Eddie. “Wanna dance?”
Eddie turned around to check out the dancing crowd, the perfect amount on it, not so few that it was awkward, but not so many that dancing was impossible with the lack of space. So he nodded, a little breathless. “Yeah.”
And high on the tension between them and drunk from the alcohol they’d had, the two of them were dancing close, Eddie’s arms around Richie’s neck and Richie’s hands on Eddie’s hips. Even though Eddie wasn’t the best dancer in the world, he was still comfortable, knowing he still had rhythm in his body. And Richie was following his lead, his body flushed against Eddie’s. They were pressing close, Richie’s breath hot against Eddie’s ear.
It was intoxicating having him so close, feeling Richie’s cheek press against his temple, his stubble scratching gently at Eddie’s skin. With their bodies touching everywhere and the heat from the rest of the dancing crowd, they were both sweating, air thick between them. Something bubbled deep inside Eddie’s stomach when he felt Richie’s fingers push underneath his sweater and onto bare skin, and he let out a shaky breath.
“Do you want to come back to my place after?” Richie whispered, voice rough.
Eddie wasn’t surprised by the question, knowing what the night had been leading up to all along. But still he hesitated. Of course he wanted to have sex with Richie, but he was also scared for it to become a one-time type of thing and that they’d never see each other again.
And even though Eddie wasn’t completely inexperienced, there was also the fact that Eddie hadn’t ever fully fucked anybody before, and he was sure as hell not giving up his virginity to a one-night stand.
“Uhm”, he started, unsure of how to form his sentences. He didn’t want it to come out too rudely, desperately wanting Richie to understand that Eddie wanted to, but just not on their first day of knowing each other.
“Maybe not tonight?” he whispered carefully, trying intentionally to hint at them meeting again and pulling his head back so he could look at Richie properly. Something about the look in Richie’s eyes was intoxicating, hypnotic, and Eddie could feel himself getting entirely entranced by this gorgeous man in front of him.
Eddie didn’t know what to expect as a reaction, afraid of something angry, or maybe an indifferent ‘whatever’. Worst of all, he was afraid of Richie leaving and ending up going home with someone else. But instead, Richie’s intense stare only softened, a sincere smile on his face. “Alright.”
But he didn’t move away, only continued dancing, the air a little less affected by the sexual heat between them now, but still pleasant.
“Maybe I can see you again tomorrow? Show you around the city during the day or something?”
Eddie smiled, grateful. “Yeah, I’d love that.”
“It’s a date.”
Richie ended up following Eddie back to the hotel. After another half hour of dancing, they had ended up in an empty booth. At around 2:30am they’d said goodbye to Richie’s bandmates, and soon after they were stepping out into the cold Los Angeles night.
Holding hands as they walked down the street, they continued their conversation about their current life-situations that they’d had back in the booth. When Richie found out Eddie lived back in Maine, he’d pouted massively, making Eddie giggle.
“I never asked you, how long are you staying for?” Richie asked when they were outside the hotel.
“We leave on Wednesday”, Eddie replied. Their Saturday had just finished three hours ago, and Eddie realized with a crushing devastation that at some point he’d have to leave LA and most likely wouldn’t ever see Richie again.
“Shit”, Richie sulked, dragging a hand through his messy hair.
“Yeah”, Eddie agreed quietly. “Shit.”
“Well, let’s not think about that just yet!” Richie perked up slightly, replacing his frown with a smile. “That’s still, what, four more days?”
“It is”, Eddie laughed.
“Well, that’s four days for us to spend together, and I have the day off tomorrow. I’m already mentally planning all the places I wanna show you!”
Letting go of his disappointment from earlier, Eddie stared up at Richie with a soft gaze, feeling happiness blossom at the knowledge that Richie wanted to spend the next days together with him. “I can’t wait.”
“Me neither.”
They stood looking at each other for a few moments, neither saying anything. But then Richie placed his hand on Eddie’s cheek, and he was leaning down slowly, checking if Eddie was going to pull away as he moved closer. Eddie pushed up on his toes, closing the gap between them, and then they were kissing.
It started gentle, Richie’s bottom lip between Eddie’s. His lips were soft, and their kisses were tender and meaningful, nothing like Eddie had ever felt before.
Richie’s fingers were caressing Eddie’s temple, a gentle touch, his other hand placed on Eddie’s waist and pulling him closer as the kiss got deeper. The tip of Richie’s tongue was poking at Eddie’s lips, and soon they were making out, tongues meeting desperately with every opening of their mouths. Putting his hands on the collar of Richie’s jacket, he tried to pull him even closer, but it was close to impossible at that point, and he opted with pushing his fingers between Richie’s dark locks instead.
As it started getting heated, spit making the kiss slippery, Eddie was starting to reconsider going home with Richie in his mind. His dick twitched in interest when Richie hooked his thumb into the top of Eddie’s pants, the bare skin of his hip being set on fire by Richie’s touch.
But he knew it would be a bad idea (they had all the time in the world (actually only four days, he had to remind himself)) and with that thought he pulled away just enough for their mouths to part before it got too far and he wouldn’t be able to help himself anymore.
“I had a great night”, he whispered, scared that if he spoke too loud it would break the magic they’d created between the two of them.
“Me too”, Richie rubbed his nose against Eddie’s gently. “And now I can’t wait to see you again tomorrow.”
Eddie sighed happily. “Me neither.”
“Drink some water before you go to sleep, alright?”
Eddie huffed out a laugh at that.
“No, I’m serious”, Richie insisted. “You drank a lot tonight, and you’ll feel better if you drink some water before bed.”
Eddie shook his head delightedly, their noses bumping together with the movement. “Alright, I will.”
“Good.”
They parted with a gentle peck on the lips and an exchange of phone numbers, Eddie watching Richie walk away.
A little while later, when Eddie had just gotten under the covers after sneaking in and chugging a glass of water, his phone dinged. He reached for where he’d put it on the floor, quickly turning off the sound in case it was to ding again and wake his Ma.
3:12am From Richie pick u up at 11 tmrw ! xxxxx
3:12am To Richie Looking forward to it! X
3:12am From Richie only 1 kiss? :(
3:12am To Richie You can have all the kisses you want tomorrow xxx
3:13am From Richie cant wait !! n dont bother with breakfast, ive planned a place to eat! :D xx
3:13am To Richie sounds great! xx
3:14am From Richie night my darlin <3 xxxxxxx
He blushed at the pet name, imagining how it would sound if Richie was to call him that in real life.
3:14am To Richie Goodnight Richie, sweet dreams <3 xxxxxxxxxxxx
Quietly giggling to himself, he sent that last message.
3:14am From Richie <3 <3 <3
Eddie fell asleep with a smile.
Taglist: @annoyingtozier, @spastuetheobsessedphylosopher, @constantreaderfool
#lynn writes#my writing#reddie#eddie kaspbrak#richie tozier#meet-cute#summer romance au#band au#kinda?#reddie fanfic#reddie fanfiction#it 2017#it#it fanfic#it fanfiction#i'll be your light
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Holy fluff!!! The new part you just posted? Has my cheeks heated asf! Had i not been keeping ny breathing in check i would’ve passed out at the part about the reenacting part bc hot damn the images in my head at that moment 🥵🥵🥵 I need a cold shower now. You are literally writing what I wish my life was lol. I love that man to death and if I had the slightest chance for something like that I would take it! Can’t wait for the next part ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
@mrs-dragneel-stark-solo Haha good I did my job then 😈😈😈 gotta admit I'm struggling with the slow burn but from now it will be move a little faster, Henry pushing a bit more cos he is a little more desperate now he thinks theres competition. Holding off on the proper smut for a few more chapters though...Doesn't mean things won't get heated our boy has to show y/n what she's missing! He's going to start upping the anti teaseing and trying to entice her...Lure her in so to speak 😈😈
However heres a Little spoiler when they do finally do the deed its Henry who's gonna start it, he's just gonna jump her bones out of jealousy and snap going all alpha on her ass!...Which I can't wait to write 🥵🥵
And I'm already working on the next chapter..And honestly i have a few pages of each chapter wrote as it stands we are sitting at 17? Maybe 18 if I find a spot for some more ideas and probably and epilogue 🥰🥰 might be a few days until chapter 6 but I'm just really enjoying writing it atm.😁😁
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Time and Again ch6
Are y’all ready? I sure am! Hope y'all enjoy the new chapter!!
Ao3 link
All the love and hugs to @hollyethecurious and @winterbaby89 for all their love, encouragement and kick ass beta skills! Especially on this chapter! I love y'all more than I’ll ever be able to say!!!
Also many thanks and hugs to the CSSNS discord ladies for all their encouragement as well!!!
Tagging my peeps: @hollyethecurious @winterbaby89 @snowbellewells @stahlop @resident-of-storybrooke @jennjenn615 @kingofmyheart14 @profdanglaisstuff @branlovestowrite @thisonesatellite @ultraluckycatnd @flslp87 @whimsicallyenchantedrose @let-it-raines @shireness-says @kymbersmith-90 @darkcolinodonorgasm @bethacaciakay @searchingwardrobes @ilovemesomekillianjones @teamhook @aprilqueen84 @qualitycoffeethings @superchocovian @artistic-writer @donteattheappleshook @doodlelolly0910 @seriouslyhooked @tiganasummertree
Please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed.
Under the cut, unless Tumblr ate it.
A/N The getaway house is a real house that’s for sale atm on South Padre Island, Texas. If you’re interested in seeing what it really looks like, you can find it here.
Emma stepped down out of the small Learjet that Killian had piloted and looked around at what could only be called an oasis. The sun shining down on the metal of the plane momentarily blinded her, but the landscape around her was already seared into her brain. The sand that surrounded what couldn’t even be called a proper landing strip - it was only a flat strip of compacted sand surrounded by dunes and sea grass.- was a dazzling white. Killian had landed them squarely in the middle of paradise with nothing but sand, seagulls, and marine life for company. She was very glad she’d had the presence of mind to pack her bikini.
“This is beautiful,” she said, struggling to keep the awe out of her voice.
He came back around from collecting their suitcases with an amused expression on his face. “What were you expecting?” he asked, gently.
Even behind his aviator sunglasses, she could imagine the twinkle in his eye as he questioned her. “I don’t know what I was expecting,” she sighed. “I’ve never been to the Gulf. But, I can tell you, it sure wasn’t this. Where are we?” After the interrupted sleep from the night before and lack of sleep in general over the last couple of weeks, it wasn’t long after they took off in Dallas, that she succumbed to slumber. When she woke, all she could see was white and crystal blue. Very much like a pair of eyes that she loved.
“We are on a small private island off of South Padre Island. It belongs to Granny, but she used to bring us here during the summer when we were growing up. She comes down here less often now, so she lets us use it.” Looking at his face, she thought she caught a glimpse of something like peace as he surveyed the landscape. She scrambled to catch up to him as he led the way towards the dunes and away from the plane.
“Where are we staying?” she asked. The “landing strip” was surrounded by dunes and she was having trouble picturing what kind of accommodations there might be. Her calves were screaming at her after climbing the dune Killian seemed to have no trouble with. Finally catching up with him on the other side, she was surprised to find him standing next to a jeep, under a covered aluminum shelter, holding the door open for her.
“Thank you,” she murmured, climbing inside. She shot him a look from under her lashes, with a coy smile. “So now you’re going to be a gentleman?”
“I’m always a gentleman, Swan.” He smirked at her with a cocked eyebrow before closing the door and heading around to the other side. “The house is just on the other side of those dunes,” he said as he climbed in.
Cresting the dune, the house they’d be staying in came into view. She was stunned to silence at the peaceful tranquility that enveloped her as Killian pulled up in front of the double car garage of a magnificent home which was surrounded by palm trees that soared over the second level of the home. “Wow,” she breathed. She looked over at her companion who seemed to preen at her admiration.
“When Hurricane Dolly hit in 2008,” he explained, “there was enough damage to the house we visited as kids to justify tearing it down in order to design and build this one. We spared no expense to make it a home that would withstand Cat5 level hurricane winds. Although the island has never been hit by one that strong.”
“We?” she asked, confusion coloring her voice. “Who’s we?”
“Oh,” he exclaimed. “That’s right. You wouldn’t know.” His eyebrows danced and an air of mischievousness danced in his eyes. “I wanted to be an architect. Always loved drawing when I was a kid, and when I reached high school and was really good at math, I thought about engineering as a major with plans to become an architect. However, when Liam graduated with his Business Marketing degree and pitched the idea of an advertising agency to me and Granny, I was sold. Granny put up the capital to get the agency off the ground, and I went to school and got my degree in graphic design and advertising. My best friend Robin did go on to study engineering and became an architect. So I designed the house, and we contracted with him to actually build it.”
Her smile nearly split her face in two. “That’s such a great story!” she marveled, climbing down from the Jeep. “And it’s wonderful that you had such a hand in it!”
“Someday I’d like to do the same at home,” he mused, as he followed her up the walkway to the front door.
“What,” she asked, looking back at him. “Design your own house?”
“Yeah,” he admitted. “What I have is fine for now.” The intensity in his blue eyes seemed to pin her in place as he stood before her before opening the door. “But someday, when I have a family, we’ll want more space.” She could no longer meet his eyes. Not with the hope and yearning so plainly written there. She looked down, blushing, acutely conscious of exactly what he meant.
He opened the door for them and stepped into the foyer where they were met with three staircases. The one on the right led down, the one in front of them went up to what looked like the main living space, and the one to the left appeared to lead to the bedrooms.
“The master suite is off the main living area and kitchen. You can have that.” He nodded in the direction of the stairs in the middle. Then, indicating the staircase to the left, he continued, “That’s the guest wing. You can see the first bedroom suite there, and the stairs lead to the other.” He picked his own suitcase back up. “I’ll let you get settled, then take you on a tour?” His hopeful expression was enough to make her cheeks heat up again.
“Sure, that’s fine,” she replied. “But I’m not staying in the master suite. This is your house.” She picked up her own suitcase and passed in front of him to the first suite. Before entering, she turned back to him. “Does it matter which one I take? Do you have one that you normally stay in?”
“How did I know you were going to say that?” he asked, amusedly. “I usually stay in the one at the top. It has the best view. Besides the master, I mean. Plus the master has access to the back deck overlooking the pool. When I called Granny to let her know we were coming down, she wanted you to stay in the master.”
“You told Granny?!” she screeched, eyes wide.
“Relax, Swan,” he soothed. “She’s not gonna tell anyone else, first of all. And second of all, it is her house. I needed to let her know I was coming down so she could get groceries delivered and the maid service out here.”
At that revelation, she deflated somewhat. “Oh, okay.” She turned questioning and unsure eyes back up toward him. “You’re sure she won’t tell anyone? If this got out among the girls, I’d never hear the end of it.” She rolled her eyes, hoping that she was keeping the fear out of them and her voice. “The grapevine in the office is very healthy and well tended.” She stepped into the bedroom and gasped.
The expansive suite was tastefully decorated and well lit. There were two large windows in the opposite corner bathing the sitting area in the late morning light. She walked in and set her suitcase on the floor. She turned around to see that Killian had already left her to get unpacked and settled. The bathroom behind her had a separate sink and changing area, with the toilet and shower in the adjoining room. Coming back into the bedroom, she decided that she’d better unpack before she tried out the very comfortable looking king-size bed that took up the center of the room. If I lay down on that, I might not get up.
After unpacking and hanging up her clothes, she walked over to the windows and looked out at the gentle surf on the other side of the pool below. Giving a sigh of contentment, she walked over to the bed and sat down. She was right. The bed was insanely comfortable. She laid back and pushed her way up to the pillows that decorated it. Minutes later, she was not aware as Killian came down the stairs and stopped at her door. He smiled gently at her sound asleep on the bed before he walked away.
~*~*~
Killian looked up from his place on one of the sofas in the den when Emma walked in still rubbing the sleep out of her eyes three hours later. “Sleep well?” he chuckled. A wide smile broke out over his face as he gazed at her adorably sleep rumpled state.
“Yeah.” A grin broke out on her face, too. “I really needed that. I haven’t slept well the last couple of weeks, you know? And the flight wasn’t long enough.” The twinkle in her eye absolutely delighted him as he rose to meet her, taking her hand in his. Her hand was still warm from sleep as he squeezed it lightly.
“Are you hungry?” he asked, leading her into the kitchen. “The groceries arrived while you were asleep. We have fixings for almost anything you want. I can show you around after we eat.”
“Yeah, starving actually,” she replied. “Could I have a grilled cheese?” She looked at him a little sheepishly as she shrugged. “It’s my favorite.”
“Of course, Swan,” he agreed, easily. “We have Kraft singles, deli American, and Colby Jack sliced cheese. Which one would you like?” He opened the refrigerator and bent over as he peered inside. Looking back at her, he smirked when he spied her blushing and looking everywhere around the gourmet kitchen except at him.
“Oh, um, Kraft singles is fine,” she stuttered, finally looking back at him. “There isn’t, by any chance, a fryer is there?” She looked around again and started looking in cabinets.
“Uh, yeah,” he replied, pointing. “Next cabinet. What do you want it for?”
“Onion rings,” she declared. “Can’t have grilled cheese without onion rings. Cutting board?”
“Over there.” He indicated to the cabinets under the breakfast bar that separated the dining and bar area from the kitchen then busied himself at the stove. While the butter melted he assembled their sandwiches all the while listening to her search the cabinets for batter ingredients after getting an onion out of the pantry. They worked side by side preparing their late lunch, Emma humming a little tune under her breath. The joy he felt working with her by his side, weaving in and out from each other as they put their lunch together, could not be overstated.
They finally sat down to grilled cheese sandwiches, onion rings, and sliced tomatoes. She rolled her eyes at him when he insisted on the “real” vegetable to accompany their repast.
Settling down to their meal, an awkward silence descended. He had a feeling Emma would be less than comfortable sharing anything of importance with him at this juncture, so he decided to suggest a game. “How would you feel about playing twenty questions?” His eyebrows rose in honest inquiry as he took his first bite. Emma scoffed.
“Twenty questions? Seriously?” she challenged him with a raised eyebrow, biting into an onion ring. Her eyes rolled in the back of her head as she moaned, “Damn, I make good onion rings.”
Killian swallowed back his own moan as he adjusted himself and tried desperately to control his response to her unintentonally erotic display. “Yes, Swan,” he answered, “The point of this getaway is to get to know each other. For you to see me as just a man and not as your boss. I thought playing twenty questions would help break the ice.”
“Okay, then,” she agreed “I’ll start.” She paused for a moment, taking a bite of her sandwich while considering her first question. “When is your birthday?”
“January 26th. Yours?” He took another bite of his sandwich.
“April 12th.” Her brow furrowed as she thought of another question. “Tell me about this place. I know you said that you designed it and your friend built it, but how did Granny come by it?”
“Granny was married to Texas oil billionaire Harold Lucas. They never had any children, so when he passed, everything went to her. I don’t remember him at all. He died about a year after we came over from England when I was a baby. My parents came to America when the last of their family died. They had two little boys to raise, and they were looking for a fresh opportunity. They found it in Texas. My father worked at a company that Granny was on the board of, and she just really took a shine to him. We’d only been living here for a couple of months when she invited him and the family to celebrate Thanksgiving with her and Harold. From there, she became the Grandmother we never had.”
He paused for another bite. The memories that he was about to share with her washed over him. “She bought this island when I was five. 1989. It had a house on it, and she invited the whole family down for a week to help celebrate my starting kindergarten. The last summer fling, so to speak. Liam and I had never been to the beach so we were beside ourselves with excitement.” He looked down with a soft smile on his face. “We had a grand time that week. Liam and I had our own rooms, we spent our days playing in the surf, hunting for seashells, and feeding the gulls. Doing all the things little boys do on a private beach.” He swallowed heavily, and cast worried eyes towards his companion. He didn’t want to upset her with what he was about to reveal.
“On the way home,” he began again, “Liam and I wanted to ride with Granny. It’s more fun than with your parents, yeah?” She nodded, with a small smile on her face. “North of San Antonio, before we got to Austin, we got caught in a massive traffic tie up. Traffic was at a standstill for over an hour. Of course, to us, it was forever.” He looked over at her again. Her brow was furrowed, and he could see she was starting to put two and two together.
“It was your parents, wasn’t it?” she asked. “That’s how they were killed, and how you were raised by Granny.” Her voice was a whisper.
He shrugged. “Guess you got more in that answer than you bargained for, eh Swan?” He looked back at her with a gentle smile. “It was a long time ago. It’s been many years since I’ve come to terms with it. Don’t feel bad about bringing it up.” He covered her hand with his and gave it a gentle squeeze. “When we finally got home, Granny called them to arrange for them to come pick us up. When she didn’t get ahold of them, she got us ready for bed and tucked us in. None of us the wiser. It wasn’t the first time we had spent the night with her. When she still couldn’t get in touch with them the next morning, she called the police. She was almost immediately granted temporary custody of us given that we had no other family. It became final six months later.”
She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. “I’m so sorry,” she apologized. “I’m sorry for your loss, and I’m sorry for bringing it up.”
He shook his head. “I told you not to feel bad about bringing it up, Swan. Other than that very specific case, the memories I have of coming to this island every summer, are some of the best memories of my childhood. So please, don’t beat yourself up.” He lowered his head until he could catch her eyes. He smiled gently at her again. “I’m glad I could share some of my beginnings with you.”
Emma inhaled on a shaky breath. “I was found abandoned on the steps of a fire station in Dallas. I was only a couple of days old. I bounced around between foster homes, never staying in one more than six months, until I was fourteen and assigned to Ingrid. That’s where Kelly was. For the first time in my life I was loved. I’d only been there a few months when all the other kids were assigned to other homes and Ingrid adopted me. She let me keep “Swan” as my last name because of my birthmark. The one on my hip. Maybe it was originally given to me by a social worker, but it made me think of the fairy tale The Ugly Duckling. That I was like the ugly duckling no one wanted, but maybe someday I would become a swan. Ingrid said that because it was important to me, it was important to her.She made it legal and everything, even with the formal adoption.” She looked up at him then, more tears shining in her eyes. “I know you didn’t ask, but after your story, I felt like I owed you mine.”
“Oh no, Swan,” he argued, squeezing her hand. “You didn’t owe me anything. That being said, I am glad to hear about your beginnings.” He hoped the soft smile he gave her put her at ease, as she swiped at the tears that had escaped her eyes.
She barked out a watery laugh. “What a day for tragic backstories, huh?” she asked, a smile breaking through.
“Indeed,” he agreed. “I think that’s quite enough for today. Don’t you?” He rose, taking their plates with him and made his way into the kitchen to deposit them in the sink. “How would you like a tour of the rest of the house?” he asked.
~*~*~
He led them through a doorway where the wall above and beside it was decorated with crosses. All sizes and colors, some plain, some very ornate. They made for a very pleasing aesthetic as she followed him into the short hallway beyond.
“This is the butlers pantry with powder room here,” he pointed to his right, “and laundry room here.” He pointed to his left. They came out at an open landing where she noticed metal work in the shape of palm fronds below the banister railing.
“We wanted to keep with the tropical motif, so we had that made,” Killian said as she admired the piece. “Nice touch, don’t you think?” He smiled at her before climbing the stairs to the loft.
Smiling back, she answered, “Yes, it’s a very nice touch.”
His relaxed demeanor and easy smile since they’d arrived that morning was proving to be quite effective in relaxing her as well. She could feel herself opening up to him. Unwinding in his presence. Telling him her story had revealed more about herself than she had ever revealed to anyone. Ever. Even her close friends at the office didn’t know that portion of her past. It was enough to make her want to hand in her resignation so she’d never have to face him again. She was kind of stuck here with him with no way off the island though, and besides, she had made a promise. When she’d agreed to come, she’d made him a promise that she was willing to see where this thing between them might go. She couldn’t help the fear that gripped her soul with the knowledge that he now had the power to break her. Whether she had given her permission or not, her heart now lay completely in his hands. And it was terrifying.
~*~*~
He turned back to look at her as he arrived at the top of the stairs to the loft. He could sense her pulling away from him, just in these last moments. The furrow on her brow confirmed his suspicions. Open book, he thought.
While the sharing of his story with her was a little nerve wracking and brought no small amount of heartache with it, the sharing of her story made him rejoice inside. She was finally opening up to him. She trusted him with that story. A story that was an integral part of who she was. He vowed to never make her regret sharing that part of herself with him, but as he took in her troubled visage, he concluded she was already regretting that decision.
He put his tour guide hat back on in the hopes of bringing her smile back out again. “This is the loft and office area.”
She looked around and the frown lines in her forehead disappeared. “I can’t tell you how much I love all the hardwood floors and cabinetry,” she enthused, “It’s so beautiful!” She made her way to the exercise bike with a smirk on her face. “Do you actually use this? Or is it just for show?”
He returned her smirk with one of his own. “Why, Swan,” he cooed flirtatiously, “are you wondering how I keep this lean, trim physique?” It was enough to make her blush and for her eyes to skitter away. He couldn’t help the surge of male pride that flooded him at her reaction. “I’m usually an early riser and if the temperature is comfortable outside, I’ll run on the beach. If it isn’t, I ride the bike. Notice the second one over here and the screens on them.” A delighted grin lit up his face. “When Liam and I are down here together, we’ll race. We can program in a specific route anywhere in the world. The bike will automatically adjust the tension and all that, so it’s as if we are really there, mountain biking in The Garden of the Gods in Colorado, racing along the banks of the Nile in Egypt, or screaming down the Auvergne in France.”
The grin that broke out, lit up her entire face. “Competitive, are we?” she asked, with a raised eyebrow.
He laughed. “Oh, you have no idea,” he assured her. “To this day, he calls me ‘little brother.’ Drives me up the wall.” His put upon sigh with his head thrown back was enough to have her trying to smother her giggles. Without much success. He looked back at her with puppy dog eyes. “Not you, too,” he pouted.
“Having a brother is a wonderful thing,” she chided him, her eyes and smile soft. “You should be thankful for him everyday. Even if he does call you ‘little brother.’” She let out another small giggle at that, causing his pout to melt into a soft smile.
“Oh, I do Swan. I do,” he assured her. “I just have to get back at him for it somehow. So I regularly hand his ass to him on the bike. I was always the more athletic one of the two of us.”
She wandered over to the bookshelves that covered the interior wall of the loft. Running her fingers along the spines, she found bestselling fiction next to The Art of War and a World Atlas. “Quite an eclectic reader, aren’t you?”
“Aye,” he replied. “I read voraciously growing up. Liam did, too. Granny made sure when video games were coming into their own in the ‘90’s and early 2000’s, that we spent more time reading than in front of a screen.” He chuckled warmly as his cheeks flushed with affection for his surrogate mother, grandmother, whatever.
“Let’s just test that, shall we?” she asked. “When did you read Lord of the Rings?” She crossed her arms over her chest, with a raised eyebrow.
“Ehhh…” he trailed away, with a thoughtful expression, trying to put a finger on it. “Early middle school. I’m pretty sure. Somewhere in the neighborhood of eleven or twelve.”
She stared at him, dumbfounded. “Are you kidding me?” she asked, incredulously. “I didn’t read them until I was in college. After seeing the films in the theater. And the first time I read them, I almost didn’t finish. It was just soooo detailed. It felt like I had to plow through them. I couldn’t imagine reading them when I was still a child.”
“Well, now you know a little more about me, Swan.” That had her blushing again, and looking away from him.
He went back down the stairs to the small landing that led to the cozy balcony above the front door. “This is a nice place to come outside to think when I’m working and don’t want to head all the way back downstairs to the deck.”
“Mmmmm,” Emma mused. “It does have a lovely view.”
“Not as lovely as some,” Killian murmured, under his breath. “Shall we go back inside?” he asked, opening the door for her again.
“Thank you,” she said, preceding him into the home. He followed her down the stairs trying very hard to not stare at her shapely rear as she descended in front of him.
Coming back into the living room, he crossed in front of her to the bank of windows that covered the back wall of the house. The center window was actually a door that led to the back deck. Leading the way, he opened the door for her and held it open as she came out. He couldn’t hide his satisfied smile at the look on her face. Her gasp of surprise told him that saving this spot for later in the afternoon was the right way to go. The deck covered the entire northwest side of the house and the sun was beginning its descent to the left, casting its light over the pool below, the lush greenery surrounding it, and the deck itself.
“It’s breathtaking,” she breathed.
“Yes, it is,” he agreed, looking down at her. She was too enraptured with the view to notice his unabashed appreciation. “Those doors lead to the master suite and these stairs over here will take us down to the lanai and pool.”
She all but skipped over to the stairs leading away from the deck and master suite. Her glee, evidenced by her joyful gait and the light in her eyes, filled his heart near to bursting. He had to hold back his chuckle at her squeal of delight as he descended the stairs behind her. She stood on the stone patio under the deck, wide eyed, soaking it all in.
“The grilling area is behind you,” he whispered in her ear, coming up behind her. He was gratified that she didn’t jump at his unexpected close proximity, but a slight shiver worked its way down her spine instead. He led her over to the hammock at the edge of the deck above and the pool beyond.
“I can just see you laying here in the hammock reading,” she teased him, with a smile.
“Aye,” he confirmed. “It’s one of my favorite ways to relax when I’m down here.”
“This pool is gorgeous,” she said, turning back to him. “Glad I brought my bikini,” she informed him with a saucy wink before her cheeks flushed again and she looked away. He was thoroughly charmed by her blatant flirting, especially when it was followed by adorable bashfulness.
“What makes you think you’d need the bikini, Swan,” he asked, his voice husky and a bit deeper than usual. Two could play at that game. “It is a private island after all.” He waggled his eyebrows at her, causing her to smile with an even deeper blush than the one produced after her earlier flirtation.
“Over here, we have the bar area with a full bathroom behind that door.” He continued, pointing. “That other door takes us back inside to the main house and the stairs to the foyer. Over here,” he gently grabbed her arm and led her to the far side of the lanai, “is a natural stone waterfall. I’m particularly proud of it, because not only did I design it, but I built it as well.”
“It’s so beautiful,” she agreed. “So restful. Having running water and all this green around the pool, it’s a wonder you ever come inside,” she murmured.
“We can eat dinner out here tonight, if you’d like,” he proposed. “We have steaks for grilling.”
Her face lit up again with the brightest of smiles. “That sounds great,” she exclaimed. She swayed closer to him and looked up at him from under her lashes. “Bring a girl to a private island and cook her a steak dinner… think you’re gonna get lucky tonight?” She placed her hand on his chest where his heart was trying its best to thump its way out of his chest.
She was obviously getting more comfortable around him for her to be flirting with him like this. Even if she did seem to be a little unsure and hesitant about it. This time though, he was the one flushing with awareness. “Oh, uh, well,” he stammered, scratching behind his ear. It was a nervous tic that he’d had all his life and even at the age of thirty, he couldn’t seem to stop doing it when he was nervous. “That is entirely up to you, Swan.” He got his wits about him and bore his eyes into hers, bringing his own hand up to cover her own. “I know how I feel, and what I want to come from this getaway. But I’ll wait for you as long as you need.” He raised his other hand and caressed her cheek lightly.
His eyes held hers for a long moment more before he backed away to break the spell. “Well, that’s everything besides the master suite and my bedroom,” he declared. “Would you like to see either of those, or should we go ahead and start on dinner?”
“I’d really like to see the master suite,” she answered. “And yours too, if you didn’t mind. Everything is just so beautiful. I want to see it all.”
“Of course, Swan,” he agreed. “I’ll be glad to show you whatever you like.” He opened the door for her, leading to the stairs to the main level of the house.
“I put the master suite on this side, away from the other bedrooms thinking about the future with kids and grandkids staying here.” He grew wistful at the prospect then shook himself out of his reverie to continue. “And of course, there’s room to build another house or two on the island, so the entire family can come down and have their own spaces. As well as expansion opportunities for this house, if needed.”
Emma nodded as she followed behind him to the master suite. When she entered, she gasped again. As he came to stand beside her, she slapped him on the arm.
“Bloody hell, woman! What was that for?” he exclaimed, rubbing his arm as if she had punched him.
“For bringing me here, and showing me all this, and doing such a beautiful job on it, and, and…” tears shone in her eyes as she looked up at him. “I’ve never seen… I’ve never been to a place as beautiful as this. And for you to be the one to design and have a hand in building it… it’s just… a little overwhelming. That you would share this part of yourself with me.”
~*~*~
She could feel the blush spreading over her cheeks. Again. Why couldn’t she bring herself under control? At least he was blushing too, and scratching behind his ear again. That made her feel a little bit better. He was as nervous about showing this part of himself to her as she was about sharing her past with him.
She looked back at the master suite and caught her breath yet again. She moved further into the room and looked out at the deck. The suite had its own private access, and she couldn’t help swooning over the luxury of the design. The windows in the opposite corners of the room from the door let in an abundance of the late afternoon light. The room felt peaceful, a haven away from the cares of everyday life bathed in the glow of the setting sun.
She turned her eyes back toward him to see him making his way to where she stood looking at the deck. She wished that he would come up behind her, take her in his arms, pull her back against his chest, and just hold her while they watched the sun set. She shook her head at her fanciful musings. He’d never be that forward with her. Not yet anyway. It was one thing to flirt and indulge in casual, light touches. It was quite another to engage in that kind of behavior. The kind reserved for lovers.
She turned back to the deck and let out a breath she hadn’t been aware she’d been holding. “It’s just so beautiful, breathtaking” she breathed. She could feel the heat radiating off of his body as he stood behind her. Turning to him, her eyes caught his as a small smile teased his lips. “Thank you for bringing me here, for showing me this.” She looked up at him again. “For showing me you. The real you.”
“You’re quite welcome, Swan,” he murmured. His azure gaze held her captive as she reached for him and drew him down to her mouth. The kiss was gentle. A tentative exploration of lips and tongues. She pulled him closer and rose on her toes to meet him as she held him in her arms.
~*~*~
Killian was stunned when her lips met his. It only took a moment, however, for him to recover and meet her tentative overtures with his own. Her trepidation and uncertainty were on full display in the hesitancy with which she kissed him, and the shaking he could feel in her limbs. He pulled her to him and determined to let her lead as far as she was comfortable. He opened his mouth to her and groaned in the back of his throat as she accepted the invitation to deepen the kiss. One arm wrapped around her even tighter as the other hand rose to tangle in her golden locks. They rocked together as the waves of the sea, a gentle push and pull of discovery and passion. He was quite thoroughly wrecked when he broke the kiss and rested his forehead against hers.
“That was…” he whispered.
“Definitely not a one time thing,” she murmured back, trying to catch her breath. She stepped out of his arms and sent him a coy look from underneath her lashes. “So, let’s see the rest of the house, shall we?”
“We shall, Swan,” he replied, swallowing heavily. Turning toward the room, he pointed to the opposite corner. “The master bath is through there.” He followed her into the bathroom and was gratified to see the wide eyed amazement on her face as she took in the natural stone and marble accented bath. He whispered into her ear, “The bathtub is a whirlpool and holds two.” He waggled his eyebrows at her as she blushed furiously and tried to suppress her giggles.
“Well then, we may have to try it… later,” she flirted back.
He couldn’t hold back his grin at her statement. He led the way back into the suite and living room, before letting her precede him down the stairs to the guest wing. Passing her own room, she turned to him.
“I love my room. The bed was incredibly comfortable. I might need you to tell me what kind of mattress that was so I can get one for myself.” She continued up the stairs to the final room of the house. “Ohhh,” she breathed. “You weren’t kidding when you said this one had the best view,” she exclaimed.
The viewing angle to the pool and beach with deck below was even better than in her room and with the sun already behind the greenery surrounding the pool, the entire oasis was steeped in an artificial twilight that would become full dark in just another hour or so. Just enough time to get the steaks cooked.
“Well, that’s everything, Swan.” He motioned back toward the rest of the house. “What say you we collect those steaks and fire up the grill?”
“Sounds good.” Her eyes danced with undisguised delight as she led him out of the room and down the stairs. “I love me a good steak dinner. What kind of steaks are they?” she tossed over her shoulder.
“New York Strips,” he answered her with a chuckle. “Bigger and juicier with more meaty flavor then a tenderloin,” he continued, with a salacious grin and waggling eyebrows. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs outside her own room.
“Oh really?” she purred, as he joined her. “I do like my meat to be big and flavorful. It’s just so much more satisfying then.” The sultry look she gave him to accompany her flirting was enough to have his pants tightening uncomfortably. He released a chuckle as she turned away from him and headed back up the stairs to the main floor. The sway of her hips made him want to run to catch up with her and pull her to him to let her know exactly how she affected him.
The minx is going to be the death of me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After an excellent steak dinner accompanied by a heaping dose of flirting and innuendo and rounded out by an excellent Cabernet Sauvignon with a turtle cheesecake for dessert, Killian rose from the table. “Would you like to dance, Swan?” he asked, in all seriousness, holding his hand out to her.
She smiled gently at him as she laid her hand in his. “I’d love to,” she agreed, as he fiddled with his phone until soft music surrounded them from unseen speakers. She looked around in mild confusion as he drew her into his arms. “Where is the music coming from?”
“Hidden bluetooth speakers.” He chuckled at her wide eyed appreciation. They swayed slowly to the music just content to be in each others arms. Being held in the arms of the man she loved like this was better than she could have imagined. Her heart thundered in her chest as he tightened his arms around her and she laid her head on his shoulder. She broke out into a smile when she took a long inhale into the crook of his neck that made him shiver. The minutes passed in silence between them until the song changed to a waltz. She’d never done any ballroom dancing before, so the rhythm threw her off.
“Uh, I don’t...” she began, trying to pull away from him.
“It’s a waltz, Swan,” he interjected. “There’s only one rule,” he continued, drawing her more tightly into his arms, his eyes lit up with affection, “Pick a partner who knows what he’s doing.” He began to lead her in a simple box three step. His smile as he held her when she finally looked up at him after staring at their feet for most of the song, rivaled the sun at noon.
“Watch the mocking,” she pouted, “I think I may be getting the hang of this.” She looked back up into his sparkling blue eyes.
“I’m not mocking you, Swan. You’re doing just fine. You appear to be a natural.” He tightened his arm around her as the song changed again until she was fully pressed against him, from shoulder to knee.
They swayed together again, just barely moving. She could feel his arms flex around her, holding her close, making her feel safe. She rested her head on his shoulder again and her eyes drifted shut as they continued to sway to the music. A calm spread through her limbs like nothing she had ever felt before. The calm assurance that she was safe with him. Not just physically safe, but that her heart was safe with him. She thought back to the lunch with M’s, Belle, Ruby, and Tina. Remembering the discussion about soulmates and True Love. She looked up at him again, as she pulled away slightly.
“I have only been in love once before,” she whispered. He looked down into her eyes but remained silent. “His name was Neal and I met him when I was a sophomore in college.” His piercing gaze held her steady as the memories and pain washed over her. “I fell hard and fast. He was the first man to ever really pay me any attention and I was completely under his spell.” Her audience gave her an encouraging nod to continue when she paused to take a shaky breath.
“Over the course of the semester, I gave him everything I was. My virginity, my autonomy, my self-determination. My life became his, my wants and desires became his, my decisions became his, my body became his.” She shuddered remembering how thoroughly she had lost herself in that relationship. “I truly believed that he loved me as I loved him and that we would be together forever, so what did it matter that I completely isolated myself from my mom, my friends, my coworkers?”
Tears filled her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. Not for him. He wasn’t worth a single one. Tears for the naive, trusting girl that she had been and was now lost forever though, was another story.
“When I got back to campus after Christmas, the truth came out.” Her voice broke and she choked back a sob. “I walked into my dorm to find him in bed with my roommate.” She wiped a tear away that had escaped. “He wasn’t the man I thought he was and I got my heart broken.” His attention never wavered and the myriad of emotions he was feeling paraded themselves across his countenance as she finished her story.
“I’m glad to hear that, Emma,” he said, finally breaking the silence.
“You’re glad to hear I had my heart broken?” she asked, unable to disguise the hurt in her voice.
His finger traced the bottom of her chin as he lifted her face towards his. “If it can be broken,” he said, gently, “that means it still works. Even if it has been a really long time.” She stared into his eyes, catching her breath at the honesty and longing contained within. The silence stretched between them until she raised herself onto her toes and brushed his lips with hers.
He groaned as he pulled her flush with him and took possession of her mouth, plundering her as if he were a pirate of old and she was his greatest treasure. He lifted her in his arms as she tightened her arms around his shoulders and plunged her hands in his raven locks. His tongue as he stroked hers lit a fire within that threatened to consume her. His hands caressed the soft curves of her body until she melted into him with a moan that if she cared at all would be far too loud for the public setting of their dalliance. Even if they were on a private island.
Holding him tightly to her, her back met a solid surface and her hands began to slide over his body. She felt his strong shoulders, then his long, lean torso. The muscles there flexed from his exertions and the exploration of her fingers. Lifted off her feet, she wrapped her legs around his hips and crossed her ankles in the small of his back, bringing his hips flush to her core. He thrust his clothed hips into hers in time with the strokes of his tongue in her mouth. The inferno that raged within her veins melted her very insides as she succumbed to the exquisite pleasure of his ministrations. The dizziness brought on by the assault of his lips and hands overwhelmed her as his hand worked its way underneath her blouse to trace along her ribs until it cupped a breast, his fingers plucking at her nipple until it was at full hardness and screamed for his mouth.
Emma wrenched her lips from his on a moan. “Please,” she begged him.
“Please what, Swan?” he inquired, pressing tender kisses into her jaw and neck as he worked his way down into the valley between her breasts.
“Please,” she moaned thrusting her hips into his as much as she could while pinned to the column behind her. He pulled back until his eyes met her own. The clear blue was almost completely eclipsed by his blown pupils. She imagined that hers were much the same.
“Bed,” she whispered into the space between them.
He gave a small nod, then got her settled more securely in his arms. “Hold on tight, love,” he murmured before lifting her away from the column. She wrapped herself more tightly around him as he moved towards the stairs that would take them to the deck above and the main level of the house. Her lips found his pulse point and latched on as he climbed the stairs, nipping and sucking before soothing the area with her tongue. The groan that he let out encouraged her to continue. “I’m liable to drop you, Swan,” he complained, “if you don’t stop that for just a moment. Let me at least get off the stairs…” he trailed away as she released a chuckle into his skin. He opened the door into the living room as her lips claimed his again.
One hand left her ass as he sought the bannister to the stairway to the guest suite. “Awwww,” she teased, releasing his lips, “am I too distracting, sir, that you can’t make your way to a bedroom?”
The growl that he let loose as they entered her bedroom sent a shiver of desire down her spine. “I’ll show you distracted, woman.” He threw her down on the bed. His eyes were predatory as she shuffled her way up to the head of the bed and he climbed up, hovering over her. “How’s this for distracted?” He lowered himself to her and nuzzled into where her neck joined her collar. Her head lolled back to grant him greater access. “My beautiful Swan deserves my full and prompt attention,” he murmured, thrusting his hips into hers and devouring the skin at the base of her neck.
Moaning, she pulled him back up to her lips with a force that caused him to fall completely on top of her. Her legs opened as he claimed her mouth again, allowing him to settle in the cradle of her thighs. Her hips met his in a sensuous dance that was as primal and possessive as the one they both longed for. The roll of his hips hit her just right and after just a few thrusts into her clothed center, an orgasm unexpectedly crashed over her. Groaning into his mouth, she shuddered in his arms, coming down from her high while their lips and tongues continued to duel.
Without any warning, he stiffened above her, letting out a stream of unintelligible curses as he rolled off of her. With obvious reluctance, he sat up and moved away from her on the bed. “Sorry about that. I uh… got a little carried away.” He turned slightly towards her, cheeks and the tops of his ears aflame.
“I thought that was the idea,” she choked out, trying to make some sense of what was going on. The fire that he had lit under her skin demanded satisfaction, but she had to bring herself back to some semblance of sanity. She lay on the bed for the longest time still trying to pull herself together.
Tension rolled off him in waves as he ran his hand through his hair in frustration. “Believe me, please. This is not easy to say.”
Her eyes widened in surprise. “You don’t want me?” She hated herself for how small and vulnerable she sounded at that moment.
“No, Swan,” he exclaimed. “God no!” He grabbed her hand and brought it to where he was hard and thick. His eyes rolled in the back of his head at her touch. “Does that feel like I don’t want you, darling?” he asked, his eyes finally meeting hers.
She blushed furiously. “No,” she whispered.
He released her hand and she snatched it back to her side as if burned. “Don’t ever doubt, Swan, that I want you.”
“Then what’s going on?”
He released a resigned sigh. “Something’s not right. It’s not time yet.”
She stared at him as if he had grown a second head. “It’s not time yet? Are you kidding me?” she asked, incredulously.
“I know! I KNOW!” he growled. “Believe me, I know! I’m not happy about this either.” His shoulders slumped in despondency. “I’m afraid we’re moving too fast. I mean,” he beseeched her, “you didn’t even agree to come with me on this trip until about fifteen hours ago. Being on this beautiful island, exchanging our stories, it can make for a very heady combination. I don’t want you to regret anything in the morning,” he whispered.
He was right. And she hated that he was right. Her body was telling her she wouldn’t regret a thing, but she knew herself. She knew she could very well wake up in the morning and blame the romance of the island for falling into bed with him so quickly.
“Tell me I’m wrong, Swan.”
“I want to,” she spat, struggling to hold back the tears that were gathering. “But you’re not.”
“I’m sorry, Swan,” he lamented, standing up from the bed. “I truly am. I think it’s best if we wait, though.”
Emma nodded, but refused to look at him. Despite his assurances, she couldn’t stop the humiliation at feeling rejected from sweeping over her.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” he mumbled before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.
Unable to contain her tears any longer, she let them fall as she let out a muffled scream of frustration into the nearest pillow and then chucked it at the closed door. She got under the comforter wanting him, hating him, and loving him more than ever.
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