#who is Voldemort

[m00neroni]

I legit don't know what you are all talking about. Nobody died today. James is currently finishing Harry's amazing dinosaur costume, while Lily prepares the sweets for the trick or treaters tonight. They three are waiting for Remus and Sirius to arrive and spend the night together watching absurd horror films on the muggle tv. Also they will eat popcorn. And have a pyjama party.

Stop lying.

[yeehawpim]

I know some of these characters can be killed but you get my point lol 😂

[karinagiada]

Probably can’t fix this one. 🐍

[lightningant]

pov you are 40 years old and your evil mastermind childhood friend has just come home from europe serving unfathomable supernatural cunt

[iamnmbr3]

Tom Riddle: I don't like having a first name that's so common. There are a lot of Toms.

Sorting Hat: No problem! I’ll put you in Slytherin. No Toms there... Because they’re all old blood purist families named after stars and things. Also they’ll hate you. Have fun sticking out and being immediately identifiable as everything they despise due to your unusual Muggle name. :)

[bitesizedgummie]

ah yes, He

He is definitely rubbing off on you, miles

care to say His name?

[theoneofshame]

Tell me this isn't Harry and Voldemort.

Cuz like....

Do you see my vision?

[aithusarosekiller]

Every time I see a Jegulus hater I do a little giggle bc in my head they're making it more canon to me, Regulus would have loved laughing at the people who hated him for having his man

He gets whatever he wants and he laughs at anyone who dares to be pissy over it

[bonefall]

The warriors fandom for years: Isn't it fucked how ableist the writing is? And how there's like, no canon queer characters? =(

The writers, accidentally stumbling into incest:

The fandom: Lol, she's gonna have so many fucking defects. Ableism? Intersexism? Sorry never heard of her babes ♡

It sure is

interesting

the way that suddenly it is acceptable to make jokes about ickygross deformed babies when the child is a product of incest. As if the child has any control at all over the circumstances of their birth. Like it makes it OK and funny to mock someone's health and appearance if it's from something that invokes disgust.

almost like they find it funny because the child "deserved" being born this way for being produced from something vile.

It's just so obviously shitty to me it's hard to put into words. People are capable of recognizing it for ANY other disabled person but not for this. Not the minute the target is "acceptable." I thought we left shit like Dorkly's Inbred Yoshi back in the 2010s, because we realized it was fucking shitty. But no. It's still going on.

[theonceandfuturequeenoftarts]

When Harry came running into his study one bright October day, the first thing Voldemort thought was, Didn’t I lock that door? Years of living with the boy – well, man now – hadn’t yet inured Voldemort to him constantly being underfoot and getting into places where he shouldn’t be.

His second thought was that the flush of exertion colouring Harry’s cheeks was rather fetching. Even if his hair was more of a windswept bird’s nest than usual and the knees of his jeans were dirty.

“Vee, you gotta come with me,” Harry said. His breathing was just a little heavy, likely from running about like an excitable child.

“Oh, I ‘gotta,’ do I?” Voldemort teased in a deadpan tone, arching his brows as he watched Harry shift in place in the doorway.

“C’mon, don’t be pedantic; follow me,” Harry insisted. When he began walking over with a determined light in his eyes, Voldemort accepted his fate with a sigh, setting down his book and rising from his seat. Capitulation was better for his pride than losing, after all.

“Very well, lead the way.”

He pretended not to see Harry’s victorious fist-pump.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

When they reached their apparent destination, as indicated by Harry throwing his arms wide to present… something, Voldemort said, “What am I meant to be looking at?”

He couldn’t help but feel that Harry’s exasperated sigh was undeserved. “Leaves!” the man exclaimed, gesturing in front of them again.

“Yes, there are a lot of leaves,” Voldemort agreed slowly, wondering if the other man may have been caught with a stray confundus in the past hour.

“No, you–” Harry said, huffing out a laugh. “I raked some of the leaves into a pile. We’re going to jump into it.”

“We are not.”

“Uh, yeah, we definitely are.”

“Correction: I am not. You can do whatever foolish thing you like.”

“Vee, don’t be a spoilsport. Didn’t you ever want to play in the leaves when you were a kid?”

Tilting his head to the side, Voldemort gave it a moment of thought. “Not particularly, no. There weren’t enough trees around Wool’s to create an adequate pile, and the ground was too full of stones. I’ve never been fond of being dirty, either.”

“That is both sad and far too practical,” Harry said. “C’mon, a little dirt won’t hurt you, Mr. Big, Bad Dark Lord.”

“I’m going to remember you said that,” Voldemort threatened absently, glancing away from the leaf pile to watch the other man. “Is there a particular reason why you’re goading me?” 

Harry ducked his head, kicking one foot back and forth through the leaves and scattering them, though there were enough that it barely made a difference. “I dunno,” he said quietly. “When I was younger, I’d see some of the neighbourhood kids playing with each other in the leaves. I always had to rake them up and bin them immediately at the Dursleys'. It seemed like such a waste.”

And Voldemort was more than capable of filling in the bits that Harry wasn’t saying by this point. Sighing his defeat yet again, he turned away from the leaf pile, ignoring Harry’s disappointed sound. Then he let himself fall backwards, landing with a flump and sending leaves fluttering into the air around him.

Harry’s joyous shout preceded his flop into the leaf pile next to Voldemort by mere moments. Rolling back and forth and flailing his arms about with a smile practically splitting his face in half, Harry looked ecstatic. 

Reaching over, Voldemort plucked a leaf from Harry’s hair, letting it fall between them. Harry’s surprised eyes peered back at him, before they crinkled into happy half-moons behind his ridiculous glasses.

“Thanks, Vee,” he said far too sincerely for something so simple.

So Voldemort sat up, grabbed a handful of leaves and pitched it into Harry’s face, eliciting an indignant squawk. Before he could fully extricate himself, Voldemort was tackled back into the leaf pile, spitting out fallen foliage and rolling a cackling Harry off of him to pin the giddy man to the ground and stuff fistfuls of leaves down his shirt.

They both ended up flushed and dirty, but Voldemort couldn’t find it in him to complain.

[saintsenara]

Do you think Tom and Harry would have petty generational clashes? Like Tom is really into like butterscotch and porridge and hates Americans while Harry gets really into like fusion cuisine and Nirvana or something (idk anything about what English dudes in their respective generations like but you get what I mean)

the two of them spend multiple nights per week having a screaming row about how nobody:

wears hats anymore suitably distrusts the scouse anymore has an opinion on freemasonry anymore suitably distrusts italians anymore knows how to dance anymore suitably distrusts the yanks anymore makes proper films anymore suitably distrusts the french anymore disciplines their children properly anymore suitably distrusts the irish anymore understands the true meaning of halloween anymore [something voldemort canonically thinks - more proof he hates the yanks, i fear] suitably distrusts the scottish anymore dresses smartly anymore suitably distrusts the greeks anymore makes do and mend anymore suitably distrusts the germans anymore understands hardship anymore suitably distrusts the russians anymore [although this is because i'd put cash on harry not realising he lived during the cold war] respects their elders anymore suitably distrusts [insert racial or religious identity] anymore keeps a stiff upper lip anymore [big talk coming from lord "commits murder with the slightest provocation"...] suitably distrusts anyone with an overt regional accent anymore has a proper work ethic anymore suitably distrusts both communists and fascists anymore saves their money anymore suitably distrusts dumbledore anymore appreciates life anymore

this is their version of foreplay.

[profoundmakerdreamerss-blog]

Thinking about an AU where Harry travels back to the first war with Voldemort when his parents are still alive. An AU where he is Voldemort's soulmate. An AU where you can't kill your soulmate. Thinking about Harry just fucking with Vee while knowing that.

(because in his time his Voldemort is dead, he was dead because he tried to kill Harry and it backfired. Because in his time Harry lost his other half and broke. That is why he time travels or was forced to travel back by Hermione and Ron because they could see that the loss of soulmate was slowly killing Harry.)

So imagine a fic where Voldemort and Harry are soulmates but Harry learns that after Voldemort dies. So he goes back to the past and start fucking with him out of spite but also protects him and slowly but surely ends up protecting the world.

[souryam]

there's like virtually nothing you can say to me or quotes u can throw in my face to convince me that 20 year old Lily was fine and ok with her husband (a.k.a basically the only person she has around) sneaking out at night to. what. annoy muggle police officers? So many people say "oh no she was talking fondly" and I never got it bc I've always read it as her coming across as annoyed. annoyed but trying to tone it down giving that it was a letter to Sirius. Like imagine you're 20 year old with a newly born baby having to live in almost complete isolation in the middle of a war and a half of the parental unit just decides to dip every Wednesday for #boysnight like what

[hptheboywholived]

Draco, Crabbe & Goyle - by M.G Terrenal

[iamnmbr3]

Voldemort: Avada Kedavra!

Voldemort: Dinner, Nagini.

Nagini: Tf am I supposed to do with this? It’s already dead. Can you at least wiggle it around or something so it’s appetizing?

[heirofslytherintommarvoloriddle]

You’ll find that I can be very persuasive