#who i am outside of all of it

[pageofheartdj]

There is so many things wrong about me, I forget how to be myself.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

...Turns out gay sex actually was the solution.

(This is basically a redraw, come read the real deal over at Tiger Tiger)

[alluralater]

as a lesbian there is something beautiful about the simple act of draping my body over another. as if i am the curtain, and you the stage. protection and safety. my breasts to your back. this is soft space, soft place. warmth on cold nights. you are humming your satisfaction against your forearms laid overtop each other. the tip of my nose grazing the back of your neck, silently taking in the smell of your hair. you can feel and hear mine brushing across your shoulders, murmur of sound. “can i kiss you here?” it is a hollow question to some but to me it is sincere whisper. i know that i could, i know you are patiently awaiting the press of my petaled mouth to the spot just beside the corner of your jaw and below your ear— but i want to hear you say yes. i want to watch your tongue appear to wet your lips as you allow me to worship this place where your love lies, and gives itself to me. trust that i will care for you, keep you safe. all you must do is tell me that i can. i begin the slowly building rise. kissing the back of your shoulder gently, affording you the pleasure of feeling the fullness there. every inch of you should know me, intimately. relaxed sigh of yearning in your throat. it is one thing to nurture, to care. to attach ourselves in all ways, and always. is this love? you taste of every sweet indulgence i have left out of my mouth for the past twenty years, for i have feared the ways in which it could rot me from the inside outward. is this love? to look down at you, feel your skin against mine, your heat and your affection and your vulnerability freely given to me, this must be— “yes. kiss me there. everywhere.” love.

[novelconcepts]

The more the show progresses, the more I want to see the 90s cast infiltrating the modern timeline. We've gotten hints of it with Shauna and her younger self, her Jackie hauntings. We've gotten a little more with adult Lottie seeing teenage Nat (and Laura Lee), and with Natalie getting teenage Lottie in her final moments. I want more. I want the teen cast to be absolutely invasive on pivotal adult moments, infecting their adult counterparts when least expected. I want Taissa's argument with Van to dissolve into their teenage selves, their bond endless and timeless and inescapable. I want Misty absolutely wrecked by young Natalie lurking around corners, watching from mirrors. I want to see these women unable to navigate adulthood without the specters of their teenage selves cropping up absolutely everywhere, more and more as they let the memories in, as they stop being able to repress the trauma. They didn't grow up. They never could. You are always doomed to regress around your high school teammates. You are haunted by the phantom elements of your misspent youth. It is a comfort, and it is a gift, and it is a trial, and it is a curse. I would love to see that reflected with greater intensity, until the lines blur, until the timelines have no choice but to intersect. They haven't escaped themselves at all. They didn't grow up. They just got older.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

YALL HOLY SHIT

LOOK WHAT SOMEBODY DROPPED OUTSIDE MY HOUSE

[beastologist]

One other reason why I'm more inclined toward Buck & Tommy? They understand each other's line of work, but they are NOT working in the same firehouse. They WON'T be constantly attached to the hips all day at work and outside of work. Just like Hen, Bobby and Chimney do have their significant others outside the 118 firehouse, I would prefer for Buck to have a significant other outside the 118 firehouse, too. Remember how Hen basically said Buck doesn't have anyone outside the 118? That's a potential difference and improvement Tommy could make for Buck.

[volivolition]

she's so normal he swears.

[eriochromatic]

Maybe the poison drips through

Succession 4x10 “With Open Eyes”

[seagull-scribbles]

Happy valentines! what says ‘love’ like two smelly, unwashed teen boys?

Drew this after a lovely convo with @less-depresso-more-espresso, who also gave me this song to listen to 💕 so this one’s for you bestie aha

[oramn]

this is a rant about mcyt tiktok (maaaybe twt but i don’t go there)

i hate seeing shit about shelby’s abuse and people calling it the “wilbur and shelby situation” and then other people saying “it’s not the wilbur and shelby situation it’s the shelby situation with wilbur allegations” like babes you are so fucking close. YOU SRE RIGHT THERE

It’s not the wilbur allegations, wilbur wasn’t mentioned or involved whatsoever! Let shelby heal and move on. it’s shubbles situation, nothing more, nothing less. sure there’s things that line up , but that doesn’t fucking matter unless wilbur comes out and admits it, or shelby actively says it was wilbur.

innocent until proven guilty and believe all victims are two things that can coexist and there is little to no nuance on tiktok where conversations like the ones described above are being had.

i also saw someone on here say something along the lines of “good people can do shitty things, good people can be bad in a relationship, good people can be the bad in a relationship ” and i agree, but that is not a conversation many are willing to have, they will jump straight to conclusions and make a woman’s story of abuse about a man.

edit (2/27/24) he posted an 'apology' on twitter, I don't know how I feel about it but he did it. Wilbur abused shelby while they were in a relationship together. He is guilty of what he was speculated of. official ruling imo: fuck that guy

[manderleyfire]

I will do all this, I will get all this blood on my hands, and you are able to plead naivety.

[originalaccountname]

Sorry to bother you but I’ve been getting into BSD and Chuuya’s my fave, but I’ve been seeing some contradictory things in fanfic so…

Does Chuuya actually have a god sealed inside him? I thought it was just like his power without limitations and was dubious of those takes, but since eldritch beings can apparently be a thing (and not an ability), I think it could be plausible either way.

Though even if it’s not I can see why people would use that route for some good angst.

This is not a bother at all! This is something I very much like to talk about

if you're really new I do recommend you go read both "Dazai, Chuuya, Fifteen Years Old" and "STORM BRINGER" light novels (but SB especially), not only are they great books with Chuuya as the focal point but they will help answer your question in depth (you can buy the English translations but I can help you find the translation online if that's what you need, just message me again)

The short version is that Arahabaki being an actual god, a separate entity from Chuuya that has a personality/a voice/desires, is a common fanon trope, but not a canon fact. The truth is more complex and much more fun, lore-wise, in my opinion

And now the long version, because I'm passionate about this and this is my excuse to deep dive into it (spoilers for Fifteen)

In Fifteen, Chuuya says this:

Chuuya himself presents "Arahabaki" as nothing more than pure power. No thoughts, no personality, but powerful for sure.

That phrasing in Fifteen created a lot of confusion I think, talking about gods as real but also not:

But I think it's more of a symbolic reference, talking about immense power that seem out of this world. Because in practice, as Chuuya said before, "Arahabaki" is simply raw power, not an entity. You can't pray to it, it can't understand you, it can't perform miracles (which is why he knew the Old Boss couldn't have been brought back by Arahabaki and it was all nonsense from the start)

I'm also putting part of the blame on the anime, where they decided (while not being exactly wrong either, out of context it's weird) to illustrate Chuuya "floating in a bluish-black darkness, surrounded by a transparent seal" and being pulled out by a hand:

like this:

When, if you actually reread that part in the novel with knowledge about Storm Bringer, it's actually this moment that was being referred to:

Which brings us to Storm Bringer! (heavy spoilers I'm serious)

"Project Arahabaki" was the Japanese government's attempt to create an ability weapon from an individual. They wanted to craft a singularity that could be used multiple times, thus granting them access to power that should not be accessible normally. They based their research on what France had discovered through Verlaine. The objective is to create a massive energy output through a self-contradicting ability, for which you need a vessel:

Chuuya is the device. "Arahabaki" is the massive energy. That massive energy can control gravity to the point of being able to create localized black holes! N implied that part of the lab's work for the Arahabaki Project was to modify Chuuya's body to be able to withstand the constant gravity effects on it so he doesn't just die. Chuuya's normal use of his ability doesn't seem to have any drastic effects on him, and his physical resilience (to getting hit, stabbed, poisoned, shot, electrocuted, to going through a black hole) does seem to imply they did succeed at least in part.

And this bit here explains why "Arahabaki" was the chosen name for the project; unexplained phenomena across History that can be linked to an ability going haywire, but were attributed to god-like interventions at the time. So you're a funny little mad scientist, you read research papers from another mad scientist that named their own creation after a mythological monster, and you decide to do the same with your own local folklore.

But!

There's still something to be said about how "Arahabaki" is a singularity, and therefore, has its own set of rules. Chuuya does loose control, Chuuya does regress to a sort of destructive instinct while under Corruption. But "Arahabaki" is still no more than an ability singularity. Here's what is said about Guivre and Arahabaki:

They are both singularity life-forms. They exist because they are singularities; outside of it, they are nothing. The inner workings of abilities are still mysterious, but most of them have a link to their wielder's desires. For example, Atsushi's Tiger is there to protect him, a mirror to his will to live no matter what. Verlaine's Guivre is similar:

Guivre was a beast born out of Verlaine's loneliness and resulting hatred. He felt deeply alone in not feeling/being human, and through Pan's (his "creator") special "programming" of Verlaine's ability, N was able to trigger the true form of his singularity with that flare gun and metal powder, which took the form of Guivre. It's what the hat was supposed to prevent, but Verlaine had already lost it by then.

Chuuya's Arahabaki is probably similar. Its first apparition was when Rimbaud tried to absorb him and use his ability for himself, and any subsequent use is linked to grief and survival. Basically, if they're their own entities, they are still born in a specific context and deeply linked to the original ability user's character. And Arahabaki? Only exists if Chuuya uses his activation phrase to get rid of the limitations put into place to prevent him from exploding:

More about about Corruption: SB is kind enough to give us an explanation on how the nullification process works, right here:

Chuuya's self-contradicting ability makes him able to control gravity through the sheer amount of energy it creates by permanently interacting with itself. It is kept under control through the use of an activation phrase, O grantors of dark disgrace, do not wake me again, which, after being either said or thought by Chuuya, will open his "Gate" (which I'm interpreting as a blocker put in place by the lab so the singularity doesn't just kill him, like those poor people they mentioned existed through History), and by opening it, "free Arahabaki's true power" (aka Corruption). When Dazai uses his ability on him, the base self-contradicting ability is nullified, which cancels out the singularity taking place, which stops Corruption and allows that "Gate" to close again. The red markings are there because they're cool and fun.

To conclude, I'll let Dazai do the honors:

bonus: what does that mean for Chuuya's ability?

bons 2: Perceived timeline of Chuuya's past and what happened to to create confusion around his humanity

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

My Lawyer is going to Get Your Ass.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[elloras]

Ted Lasso: All Apologies

[chirpsythismorning]

The way fans on the st sub are almost all in agreement Nancy ending up with neither Jon nor Steve wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, and how they can even come up with a sleuth of reasons as to why, honestly pretty valid and fair reasons, but then are absolutely gobsmacked when fans merely speculate something along those lines for El is, quite something.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

when you mentioned in your tags that there was hardly any laughingstock i didn't believe you at first, but holy shit ur right. YOU AND @krasytoonz MADE ME INTO A LAUGHINGSTOCK BELIEVER. I WILL PAY TRIBUTE TO THESE SKRUNGLY FUCKERS SOON, MARK MY WORDS *shakes fist into the void*

no yeah Seriously though its just us out here, fighting for our lives in the fucking Trenches. in ten years someone is gonna use the word 'laughingstock' casually in conversation and im gonna have War Flashbacks