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17. make me juno cw: smut, p in v sex
utahimeâs voice rang out, sharp and clear. âand⊠cut! thatâs a wrap for today, everyone. great work!âÂ
the film crew burst into scattered applause, and you stepped off the set, running your hand through your slightly dishevelled hair.Â
âyou did amazing, sweets,â gojo said as he passed. he offered you a tired but genuine smile. âhope i didnât spook you when i picked you up earlier,âÂ
âoh heavens no, gojo! i didnât mind it in the slightest! like seriously, throwing me over your shoulders? youâre really strong.âÂ
âyeah, âm the strongest!â you giggled in response. âso, sweets, would you like to get dinner together tonight? havenât hung out with you since we watched scream togetherâ kinda miss you.â he gave you a small pout and tucked a strand of your dishevelled hair behind your ear.Â
âiâd love to gojo, but! i have dinner plans tonight⊠maybe next time?â dinner plans. he stiffened. who rejects the satoru gojo for dinner plans? no, the bigger question was who exactly do you have plans with? âyeah..! thatâs fine with me, sweets.â he smiled weakly then walked off.Â
as you exited the lobby, your eyes scanned the small crowd milling around the entrance. then you saw himâ nanami, waiting for you, his hands stuffed into his jacket pockets. you smiled, quickening her pace. âkento, hi! sorry, did you wait long?âÂ
nanami looked over and shot you a soft smile. âno, not at all. i just finished up my photoshoot.âÂ
you two started walking together to his carâ a volvo s90. the sun had just dipped below the horizon, casting everything in a warm, golden glow. he opened the passenger door for you as you slid into the seat, the soft leather cool against your skin. you rolled her eyes playfully but couldnât help the warmth spreading through your chest. âa gentleman, huh?â he chuckled at your comment.Â
nanami closed the door with care and rounded the car to the driverâs side. moments later, he was in the seat beside you, adjusting the music to a mellow playlist as he started the car. the drive was smooth, the city lights blurring into streaks of gold as they passed. conversation flowed effortlessly between you twoâsmall talk, laughter.Â
twenty minutes later, he turned down a quiet road that led to a fancy townhouse neighbourhood. as he stepped out, you reached for the door handle, but before you could open it, he was there, pulling it open for you.
âstill playing the gentleman, i see,â you said, stepping out.
âof course,â the blonde replied, offering his hand. you took it, feeling a pleasant flutter in your chest as your fingers brushed.Â
âthis is incredible, kento,â you said, twirling a forkful of spaghetti. he smiled, twirling his own fork. âi could send you the recipe if youâd like.âÂ
as you two ate, the conversation flowed as easily as the wine in your glasses. They talked about work, your mutual friends (shoko, utahime, gojo), and travel dreams. every so often, laughter would fill the room, blending with the crackle of the candle.Â
âso, what did you want to discuss? you sounded pretty serious over textâŠâ you asked, finishing up your plate of spaghetti.Â
âwell,â he said slowly, âârunning a hand through his hair, his laugh awkward. âitâs justâ somethingâs been on my mind for a while. and i figured, you know, itâs something you should be aware ofâŠâÂ
you tilted your head. âokay⊠now youâre scaring me. spit it out.â
he took a deep breath, his gaze meeting yours. âwe attended high school together. at tokyo jujutsu high.âÂ
âoh! really? no wonder why your name sounded so familiar⊠you were friends with haibara, right? i remember seeing you a few times in the halls waiting for him after math?âÂ
he nodded. âyes. um⊠do you remember that party senior year? at mei meiâs place?âÂ
you blinked, thrown by the sudden shift in conversation. âuh⊠vaguely? why?â
nanami hesitated again, then decided to just rip off the band-aid. âwe hooked up that night.âÂ
the words hung in the air like an unexpected gust of wind, making you blink again, harder this time.
âwhat?â you said, leaning back as if to process his statement better.
âwe⊠had a one-night stand,â he said, his voice softer now. âyouâd had a few drinks, iâd had a few drinks, and⊠yeah. it happened.âÂ
you stared at him, her mind racing. âno way⊠that was you?!â
âyes, it was,â he said, rubbing the back of his neck, âyou didnât bring it up the next day. i figured you didnât want to talk about it so i just⊠didnât say anything.â
âkento!â you exclaimed, your cheeks flushing. âare you serious right now?â
âcompletely,â he said, his expression equal parts apologetic and nervous. âiâm not telling you this to make it weird or anything. i realized that when we met, you didnât seem to know who i was. it felt wrong if you werenât aware of who you had sex withâŠâ Â
you let out a long breath, your mind replaying snippets of that party. the memory was blurry, but there were flashesâ nanami laughing with you in the kitchen, you two of them sitting too close in mei meiâs guest bedroom, a kiss that felt like it had been waiting to happen.Â
âoh my godââ you finally said, covering your face with your hands. for a moment, you two sat in silence, the weight of the revelation settling in you. then, to his surprise, you started giggling. âkento, do you know how desperate iâve been to find you?â
âpardon?â he asked, as confusion settled in him.Â
you shook your head, still laughing. âi just⊠i canât believe that i lost my v-card to the kento nanami! iâve been thinking about that party ever since it happened!â
nanami smiled, relieved that she wasnât angry, however concern showing on his face. âyou⊠you lost your virginity to me? i am so terribly sorry⊠is there something i could do to make it up to you?âÂ
âdonât be. if anything, it honestly best fuck of my life.âÂ
âfair enough.â he laughed, the tension finally breaking.Â
ââyou took another sip of wine, your eyes glinting with mischief. âbut, if you really would like to make it up to me, i donât mind recreating what we did that night.â
as you straddled nanamiâs lap on the couch, the soft cushions enveloped them, making it feel like they were in their little world. his eyes locked onto yours, the desire in them making your heart skip a beat.
you settled into his lap, your legs wrapping around his hips as you began to move. his hands rose, gripping your hips as he guided you, his fingers digging into your skin.Â
the couch creaked softly as you two moved, the sound mingling with your ragged breathing. you leaned forward, your lips brushing against his ear as you whispered, "i want you."
"fuck, you feel incredible, darling," he groaned, his voice strained. his hands tightened on your hips as he pulled you down harder. you began to ride him faster, your hips moving in a circular motion as you chased the pleasure. your legs around his waist, pulling him closer, urging him to go deeper. "ahâ! harder, please. âfuh me like you did back then."
nanami began to move, his hips thrusting in a steady rhythm. your hands gripped his shoulders, your nails digging into his skin as you matched his pace. the couch creaked with the frantic movements, the sound only adding to the erotic atmosphere. plap plap plap!Â
"you feel so fucking good, love," nanami grunted, his eyes locked with yours. "'m not going to last long."
"iâi don't want you to," you panted, your face flushed with arousal. âwanna feel you câcum insideâ ah!â jâus like before."
his thrusts became more urgentâ plap plap plap! his body on the brink of release. your cunt clenched around him, milking his cock as you neared your climax. your moans filled the room, a symphony of pleasure.Â
"shitâ âm gonna fill you up, yeah?" nanami panted out, his body tensing as he emptied himself deep within you.
âahhâ you so so sâgooddd, kento!â you cried out, her nails scratching his back as you rode the waves of pleasure, your cunt pulsating around his pulsing thick cock.Â
as your hearts slowed and your breathing returned to normal, you two remained entangled on the couch, your bodies glistening with sweat. nanami kissed your forehead, his hand stroking your hair.
"that was..." you began, searching for words. "just like i rememberedâŠâÂ
âoh, darling, weâre just getting started.â he chuckled, his voice soft, picking you up and carrying you to his bedroom.Â
album bonus tracks: â that was my first time writing smut, I AM SO SORRY IF IT WAS ASS â i love kento nanami â next chapter out next week, i won't be updating during the weekdays for a bit âź MASTERLIST Â Öčâź Â PREVIOUS Â âź Â ÖčNEXT Â âź
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omg since you`re doing minifics inspired on taylor's songs, can u do you belong with me? its my favorite song <3
you belong with me
omg I love this idea and this song <3 itâs such a classic taylor song that reminds me of my childhood :( this is going to be sooo fluffy and predictable but idc these are fun to write!
warnings: none! just fluff
you and luigi were best friends ever since childhood, now in college together. he was always your person, he knew you better than anyone else. as you had gotten older, youâd began to realize you had feelings to be more than just friends. you had always kept your feeling to yourself though, never expecting him to reciprocate.
âYou're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset
She's going off about something that you said
'Cause she doesn't get your humor like I do
I'm in my room, it's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't likeâ
âbaby, I canât right now Iâm studying with y/n,â he mumbles into his phone one late february night. you try not to listen to his conversations with his girlfriend but it doesnât help that sheâs blowing up his phone.
âyou know that y/n and I are friends, nothing more. weâre just studying thatâs all,â he quickly glances to you, you return a small smile.
he sighs as he hangs up the phone, you can feel the tension in the air.
âyou can go be with her lu, you know, if she needs you or something,â you begin packing up your things to leave,
âno, Iâd prefer to be with you instead,â and his smile is what makes you stay. moments like these made you wonder if heâd want you in that way,
â âCause she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts
She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming 'bout the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole timeâ
a couple weeks later, while sitting at a cafe on campus studying, you see luigi and his girlfriend walk by. he looks amazing, heâs laughing, his skin is glowing, and of course she was on his arm. she wore heeled boots, a navy knit sweater, a mini black skirt, and her blonde hair cascaded down her back. she was the leader of the alpha phi sorority, how could she have anything in common with lu? you sat there with envy, deep down you knew that you knew him better than anyone else, he was indeed your best friend. seeing her laugh at his jokes, ones that you had probably heard before. instead of going back to studying, you sat there daydreaming 'bout the day when he wake up and find that what heâs looking for has been here the whole time.
âOh, I remember you driving to my house
In the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh
When you know you're 'bout to cry
I know your favorite songs
And you tell me 'bout your dreams
Think I know where you belong
Think I know it's with meâ
you heard erratic knocking at your door,
ây/n, open up, itâs lu,â you unlock the door and see him standing there, his eyes bloodshot red.
âlu, what happened? are you okay?â he rushes in for a hug, gripping onto your sweater and breathing in your scent, itâs so comforting to him. âshe cheated on me,â he sniffles.
âI caught her with another frat member,â he releases from your arms.
âIâm so sorry lu,â you try to console him before he interrupts you,
âis it weird Iâm kind of relieved? I donât even know why Iâm crying,â he chuckles, which his confession is full of truth because you had only seen him cry twice before.
you both sit down on your bed, placing your hand on his forearm, rubbing back and forth.
âdo you think love her?â you blurt out. luigiâs eyes meet yours, thinking for a moment.
âI donât even think I liked her half the time,â which makes you chuckle.
âoh cmon, she is the definition of perfect though,â which you can confess, because she is everything you arenât. luigi places his hand where yours lies upon his arm still, he slightly squeezes it. âwell now I can spend more time with you, anyways could you hug me again? I think I need it,â he looks at you with pleading eyes. oh you were so far gone.
âIf you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You belong with me
Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time, how could you not know, baby?
You belong with me, you belong with meâ
by the time spring formal comes around, your feelings have expanded times a thousand. you and luigi had been spending every waking moment together, your friendship had reached new heights. tonight you would be luigiâs date to upennâs spring formal, even though you were technically only going as friends, you had never been so nervous.
you werenât one for dressing up but for this night you went all out, a short navy blue silk slip dress with a twist front, and a pair of white kitten heels with a bow. youâd even spent hours on your hair, wanting to look your best. finalizing your look with lip gloss, you heard a knock at your door. you open your door and see luigi standing there, your breath got caught in your throat looking at him, he looked perfect. dressed up in a full suit and tie, with his tie colour matching your dress. you were both looking at each other up and down, not even sure what to say. youâd never seen him this silent.
âlet me just grab my purse, you look great by the way,â trying breaking the awkward tension, you wanted this night to go perfectly.
as the night progresses, you grow more urgent to confess your feelings to luigi. a battle in your mind that you wish you werenât having on a night like this, but his hand grazing your lower back and his wandering eyes were making you a lost cause. was ruining a friendship worth coming clean with your feelings?
you were both tipsy and walking back to luigiâs dorm, finally alone together. your heart starts to beat faster than it ever has before, maybe it was just the tequila. âlu, i have something to tell you, Iâve been thinking about you a lot lately,â you blurt out, almost not understanding what you were doing. you stop in your tracks and he looks back at you, up and down.
âcan you picture it? you and I?â his eyebrow furrows, eyes dotting between yours and your lips. âi-i guess, but you liked [âŠ]â you step back almost in shock that he is imagining the same thing as you.
âI donât like [âŠ], sheâs not you. Iâve known you since⊠forever. youâre basically home to me, I canât imagine being with anyone else,â he steps forward and pushes back a piece of hair behind your ear. âbut wouldnât us being together ruin our friendship?â
âwe canât be friends anymore though, Iâll always see you as something else. I only want you,â he confesses, âwe should try this, donât you think?â he steps closer placing a hand to your cheek, leaning in, you nod up and down to give him permission, because youâre far too nauseous to speak. his lips softy melting into yours, then pulling back to look at you. you both quickly go back in for another passionate kiss, his tongue prods at the seam of your lips and you open up for him. you both moan into each others mouths then pull apart, realizing you are both still outside. you both start laughing, luigi pulls you to his side and you begin walking. âyou know, my family has been placing bets on when we would start dating,â he chuckles. âwhat? no they didnât,â
âactually they starting saying that in high school we would,âyou walk back to luigis dorm wrapped around each other. you two always belonged together.
#luigi mangione#luigi mangione x reader#luigi mangione fanfiction#luigi mangione x yn#free luigi#the adjuster#ceo shooting#deny defend depose#fanfiction#luigi mangione smut#luigi nicholas mangione
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pluck my strings
(ray toro x reader)
⟠â not proofread, not word counted, this is RAW everyone. first public story in years. crazy guys. trying to keep it gender neutral for my folks but,,, i am but a molar â âŸ
summary: you're a guitarist coming into the 2000s emo scene. much like many others, you have just a basic knowledge of guitar. thus, feeling a little bold, you contact your friend with the most knowledge. and,,, yeah, maybe you just wanted an excuse to see him. when you finally do make it to the studio, you can't help but let your mind wander. can anyone blame you? he's just so close....
tw?: uhhhhmm not that i can think of. sliiiiight smut if you squint. really just suggestive and tense.
âŸ-âŸ-âŸ
â Your band had come in with a fever. One second, you were working job to job, trying to desperately cram your hobbies into your free time whilst also managing friendships and your ever-crumbling dating life. Then, one half-slurred, half-mumbled, half-thought hangout idea spewed by one of your close friends led to this moment. You had a show in exactly two weeks, and still only knew maybe five or so chords. Sure, you could switch between them pretty fast and come up with decent riffs and progressions, but nothing that would sound like more than a dead kennedys knock off on stage.
â While my chemical romance was making their way up the ranks, they still held you and your band in close regard. You and the guys had been tight since early 2002, and you even witnessed a lot of bullets being made. which, to say the least, showed off their talents. Out of the bunch, you tended to lean toward Ray for a number of reasons. He was quiet, but not terribly quiet. Quiet outwardly, but not in an introverted sense. Ray just reserved his words for when they mattered. You could appreciate that, along with his utterly charming smile, insanely good taste in movies, appreciation for music, among other things.
â It seemed everyone but Ray knew you had a total thing for him. Even when you called him up in the middle of your friend's mom's house, they snickered and made obscene gestures toward you deserving of a middle finger from hell, that of which you gave to them in full.
â Now, standing outside the recording studio, your previous idea felt a bit more ominous. Just as you were heading in, Frank was heading out. You bumped shoulders, that unmistakeable little laugh coming from the other guitarist.
â "Gotcha!" Frank grinned, turning to face you as you turned simultaneously. "Knew you were coming. Ray won't shut up about it."
â "Oh?" He'd piqued your interest. You couldn't help the smile on your lips, your head tilted a bit to the side as you watched Frank. Maybe you'd entertain this. "How are you so sure?"
â Frank playfully glanced off into the sky, hands in his pockets as he rocked on his heels with an excited little smile. "Oh, you knoooow," He shrugged, "Just the way he instantly got up and started making sure everything was juuust right for your arrival. I can recite it verbatim, dude. 'you know who called-? yeah! yeah. gonna help 'em with some guitar stuff- hey, do you remember where that one amp is-?'. Gay." Frank shook his head with a laugh.
â The image in your mind brought some warmth to your chest. He was that excited just to see you?
â "You guys are so gay. Look at that fuckin' smile on your face. Unbelieveable. Well, don't let me keep you from your date."
â Before you could protest, Frank had already turned and raised a hand in goodbye, leaving you outside the doors of the studio in the brisk air.
â You turned, looking at the doors with slightly wider eyes than a few moments before. Figuring the last thing you wanted to do was keep Ray waiting, you pulled open the door and walked inside.
â As usual, the smell hit you first. Wood, metal, a bit of sweaty musk, and a certain "clean" smell, but clean the way carpets are. It was warmer inside, but only warm enough to keep everyone from shivering considering the instruments and equipment were top priority. You walked down the hall, finally finding the recording room Ray was settled in. As if on cue, he looked up to see you through the window in the door. You smiled, and waved enthusiastically.
â Ray returned the smile, and you opened the door to realize there was no one else but him. Well of course there was no one else but him, but still it was a bit jarring to be alone with him. It was always a bit difficult to come to terms with the fact that you had the fattest crush on Ray. It was obvious to a pathetic point, hence the embarrassment.
"Glad you could make it. I mean, I was getting a little worried, y'know."
"Oh- pff, yeah. I had to walk here... No car, and all..."
"What-!?"
â The way Ray's jaw dropped made you nearly shrink.
"You walked here? Dude-! I-..." He let out a small laugh of disbelief, "I could have come picked you up. It's way too cold outside to be walking. Besides, what if someone kidnapped you?" Ray shook his head as he pulled two chairs close together, facing each other.
"I mean, I didn't want to bother you-"
"Oh shut up! You can always bother me. Always. Takes only a little gas to get to you. And if it meant you were gonna be warm, then that's what I would have opted for."
â Again, that same little smile crept up your lips along with a certain warm flush to your face. It was nice for him to worry so much. For him to care. It almost gave you a liiiiittle spark of hope that he felt the same.
â You pulled off your jacket, which Ray was quick to take. Just for a moment, his finger tips brushed along your biceps. The ghostly sensation was enough to raise instant goosebumps along your arms. And oddly enough, you couldn't help but think about how warm his touch was despite it being barely there. You wondered what it'd feel like for him to hold you with purpose. With his hands placed strategically, with meaning. Just for a second, you wondered what that warmth would feel like on the more private areas of your body. How would his hand feel clasping the back of your neck? Cradling the underside of your thighs snaking further up until he could cradle your ass in his palms? Would he be gentle? No. No, Ray would be gentle in theory. But he'd want to grab you. Hold you. Make sure you fit just right in his hands, slotted together like pieces of a puzzle.
"You ready?"
â You turned quickly. "Yeah! Yeah, sorry. Lot on my mind, I totally zoned out."
"All good... You okay? Do you want to talk about it?"
â You could have laughed if you weren't so tensed with both embarrassment and anxiety. Paralyzed with the realization that was now setting in: the man you had dumbly imagined a future with, sex with, dates with, and intimacy with was now going to be mere inches away from you while your mind strayed and tried to come up with every last sexual situation this moment could lead to. What a set up.
"No! No, it's nothing like that!" You gave a nervous laugh, waving your hand as you finally convinced your feet to move and walk you to the chair beside him. "Just... Nervous I guess. It'll be my first time playing on stage like that. I don't think high school band and choir count." You laughed again, softer this time. What you didn't see was the way Ray's lips curled up slightly at your more genuine laugh. The sound was sweet, no matter how much you tried to deny it. He loved it.
"That's okay. Here, we'll start simple? Okay? Just nailing down some scales and stuff? You gotta remember scales from band and all, right? These'll be your base blocks."
â You gave a few nods and desperately tried to focus on the guitar he placed in your hands. It only took a few seconds to realize it was one of his personal electrics. Ray carefully reached forward and guided your fingers into position. Again, you felt that same rush of heat. His hands were larger than yours, and now closely studying them, you wondered what they'd feel like in your hair. Running through it, or perhaps holding it tightly. Maybe even tugging on it.
"My fingers go here?" You quickly tried to end run your thoughts by paying attention, which was most likely important considering these lessons were meant to help you get ready for being in a proper band.
"Yeah. Just like that. See? You're already catching on."
â The little amount of praise nearly made your stomach jump into your chest. It was practically like he was trying to give your mind ammunition to fluster you with.
"Alright. You've done picking before, right?"
"Just some. I'm not too good, if I'm being honest."
"Don't say that. I'm sure you're great, but don't put yourself down. Try picking top string to bottom string. That's your low E to high E."
â You did as he instructed, and for a little while it was just that. Ray told you what to do, showing you little tips and tricks along with some position corrections and adjustments while you desperately tried to fight everything off in your mind. Now wasn't the time to debate whether Ray was into you. Now wasn't the time to question if Ray found you just as attractive as you found him. Attractive didn't even cut it.
â It seemed everyone knew about your 'thing with Ray', so you had spoken to your friends about it in the past. And boy, could you gush. Between his eyes that seemed to twinkle and shine whenever he was interested in something, to his smile that creased up his eyes in the most adorable way, and then there were his lips which were so plush and perfect looking. They paired perfectly with his cut jaw, which led down to an oddly hot-looking neck, and don't even get started on his broad shoulders-
"Are you really okay?"
You nearly jumped three feet in the air.
"Fine! Sorry, I'm so sorry... I think I'm just ready to move on. If you think I'm ready, that is."
"Yeah, I'd say you're pretty good on scales for now. I mean, if it comes down to it I can just give you another lesson. Meet back here again and polish everything, you know?"
"I... I'd really appreciate that, yeah."
"Great. Then we'll meet again for lessons. Until then, why don't we move on to some chord progressions?"
"Sounds good to me."
â Ray explained a few shapes, but it was a bit difficult considering he didn't have a guitar in his hands, too. He was moreso explaining them to you, guiding your fingers, and then having you strum. And for the simpler chords, it worked. But as they grew more complex, you could feel the gears slowing in your brain. Not to mention, being able to smell Ray's shampoo, deodorant, and cologne didn't help. You were growing desperate. Fast. You wanted to smell like him. Be so close, so enveloped in him, that your skin took to his cologne. Your skin smelled like his skin.
"Okay, this obviously isn't going amazingly, so let's try something a little different. I'm gonna move you, okay?"
â You nearly got up before you felt your chair move with you on it. Ray had tugged your chair over directly in front of his. So close you could see his shoes beside your chair. Then, his arms came from behind you. One of his hands settled on your waist, the other wrapped around your hand on the fret board. You could scream.
â He was so close. You could feel the heat radiating off of him. Hold me. Hold me, not the guitar. Say whatever you'd like, just hold me, please. I want your arms to squeeze me.
â You decided to royally fuck any mental restraint now. You wouldn't feed into it physically, but there was no point restraining your thoughts now. God, this had to be purposeful. Friends don't hold each other gently by the waist, thumb absentmindedly stroking back and forth along the fabric of your shirt. He had to be moving in on you, and you weren't complaining a bit.
"Here. Your index, or first finger, goes here, second here, third here, and your pinky goes here. Hold that, and strum a few times."
â His voice had dropped lower. Slightly softer, but richer. He was speaking just to you. Just for you. Saying words he only wanted you to here. The way his fingers tightened ever so slightly around your side made your breath hitch slightly. You assumed it was because you strummed the chord beautifully.
"Sorry, is this okay?" Ray asked gently, his voice carrying a slight gravelly undertone from being lowered.
â Realizing what he meant, you flashed a reassuring smile. "You're okay." You nodded a few times.
"Good."
â Ray's hand shifted a bit lower, his grip hugging the side of your thigh as he moved in closer. His head was over your shoulder and you could feel his chest pressed against your back. If it weren't for the stupid fucking chair, you'd be able to be perfectly snug against his figure. And, fuck, did you want to be.
"Let's try another chord. You're doing great."
â Ray's lips nearly brushed along your ear. You could feel his breath warming your skin, even feeling his chest rise and fall. If you paid any closer attention, you would be able to tell that his heart was racing the same way yours was. Being so close to you was a blessing for Ray. One you didn't exactly know about, but could guess by now. His fingers guided yours again, and made a different chord. You strummed, and and a string buzzed obnoxiously, as if wanting to be seen.
"That's okay, I think it's your pinky. Shift it a little to the right. Strum again?"
You did as he directed.
"Perfect." Along with his praise, he gave a small rub and squeeze to the side of your thigh. There was a small, trapped sound that caught in your throat, whether out of surprise or enjoyment. Either way, you didn't see the smile plastered on Ray's face.
â Just as Ray was about to say something else, his phone buzzed in his back pocket and played a Bauhaus song.
"Shit- sorry. One second."
â Just as his warmth had wrapped around you, it was gone twice as fast. He had pulled away and gotten up, answering the phone in the corner of the room. If you listened close enough, you would be able to make out whatever he was saying. You opted to pluck mindlessly at the guitar, even practicing a few of the picking patterns Ray had taught you.
"Okay, sorry about that. Gerard called, wanted to know if I would be down to practice with everyone else. Which, in Gerard talk, means everyone else wants to practice and needs me too. But, uh, I wanted to ask you, first." He stuffed his hands in his pockets.
"Ask me..?"
"If you didn't mind ending this lesson here. But not forever-! Just... For now. How does same time tomorrow sound?"
â You stood, leaning over to switch off the amp before you unplugged the cable and guitar. You handed the guitar over to Ray with a sweet smile, that of which he returned. It wasn't hard to see you were both seeing each other as newer people.
"It sounds perfect to me."
"Perfect. So I'll... Come pick you up, too?"
"I dunno. Maybe I'll... Walk here again. Just so that you'll have to do whatever you did back there to warm me up."
â Ray faltered for a moment, then laughed as he registered you addressing the moment. "Right. I'll do you one better. I'll pick you up a little early and make sure you're nice and warm in my car, yeah?" Ray took the guitar from you and put it away, safely in its case. He then grabbed your jacket, and held it open for you to slip your arms into.
"I don't think I can argue with that one." You grinned.
"Good. It's settled." Ray helped your coat on, then rested his hands on your biceps. He leaned down beside your shoulder again. "See you tomorrow?"
â Your face flushed again, this time, you turned slightly so that your lips were a few inches from his own.
"See you tomorrow."
⟠â mueheheheeeee i hope this was good. any comments are greatly appreciated, positive or constructive critcism, either way i'm down. ermmm debating a part two?? but idk it feels kinda finished to me ',:|. either way, hope u liked ittttt tags n shiz below but yeah :3 â âŸ
#mcr#my chemical romance#mikey way#american rock band my chemical romance#frank iero#gerard way#ray toro x reader#ray toro#ray toro fanfic#raymond toro#my chem romance#my chemical fucking romance#my chemical ray#my chemical mikey#my chemical gerard#my chemical frank#my chemical romance x reader#mcr x reader#mcr fanfiction#mcr smut
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Donât Look Back
Jackson!Joel Miller Angst
a/n: hi! this is my first foray into writing angstâ I thought a lot about this story and owe @slimybeth69 so much credit for holding my hand through it, helping me brainstorm and looking over parts of this for me. I was super inspired by the myth of Orpheus and this idea came to me. It might be crap, i will not be offended if you think itâs crap. I do recommend reading this lil blurb about the myth of Orpheus as it will be referenced (slightly) throughout the story. The synopsis is based on my personal knowledge and a blurb found on Britanica. There are many amazing, proper editions of this myth and I recommend reading that for more information if you are interested!
the events are not 100% canon â donât come for me okay? they do take place in TLOU 2 but they arenât perfect or factual, I just shaped it to fit the narrative of this story.
thank you to @saradika-graphics for the beautiful dividers đ€
tw: angst, death, mentions of suicide, mentions of suicidal thoughts, grief, lots of hard feelings, falling out with family, overall sadness, Minors DNI!
In the Greek myth of Orpheus, son of Apollo and Calliope, he was gifted a lyre by Apollo. Orpheusâ singing and playing were so moving that animals and even rocks and trees moved about him in dance. He then married Eurydice, the love of his life who was taken from him too soon. Bitten by a snake on the day of their wedding, she was sent to the underworld, leaving Orpheus in the world of the living. Orpheus went to the underworld to beg Hades for her return. His music and grief moved Hades so much that he allowed Orpheus to bring Eurydice back to the world of the living, under one condition: upon leaving the underworld, the couple were not permitted to look back. They walked towards the world of the living, and in celebration of seeing the sun, Orpheus looked back to Eurydice and she disappeared. Some tales say that Orpheus sat at the entrance to the underworld, lamenting and playing his lyre for the rest of eternity until the Gods took pity on him and put him out of his mercy, allowing Orpheus to reunite with Eurydice in the underworld.Â
Joelâs body groaned awake, the sneaking rays of sun gently climbing through his shaded windows, caressing the fine lines that rested on his face. With a grunt, he slowly moved out of bed, stretching his neck and back after a long night of rest.Â
Today was an average day for Joel; a simple shift at the stables, minding the horses and mending whatever was in need of mending at the barns, then a pit stop at The Tipsy Bison on his way home.
Things had been quiet since Ellie left. He hadnât quite found a way to mend the hole she left in his heart. While Tommy and Maria had initially made an effort to include him socially, or pop over for visits with his nephew, the young child reminded him too much of the children he lost. His time in Jackson had softened him, allowing that small glimmer of hope to shine in his chest that maybe, just maybe, he would see Ellie again. That she would come back to him. That she would forgive him. But hope is futile.Â
As Joel made his way outside, he noticed the weathered guitars that sat by the front, covered in a thin layer of dust, yearning to be strummed once more. Isnât that how Orpheus died? Strumminâ ân cryinâ til the gods put him outta his misery? Joel thinks to himself, turning away from the lonely instruments and heading down his front porch.Â
He could remember it clear as dayâ Sarah had come racing in the door with a new book from the school library. A tattered novel filled with Greek myths and photos of ancient ruins. She would spend hours explaining the myths and lessons behind them to Joel, a hot topic of discussion at breakfast.Â
âWhat kinda idiot looks back!?â She scolded the God, baffled how he could have failed his relatively easy and simple promise to Eurydice.Â
âMaybe he loved her so much that he couldnât help it? He had to see her?â Tommy shares as he takes a bite of his toast. Joel shot him a look of confusion, eyebrow raised and a scowl forming on his lips, resulting in an innocent shrug from Tommy.Â
âWhat! You ainât ever loved a gal so much you couldnât not look at âer?â He laughs, his words striking Joel right in the chest.Â
He had.Â
That is how he felt the moment he held Sarah for the first time. The small babe, barely large enough to fit in the palm of his hand, cradled gently into his chest. He knew from that moment that she would be the love of his life. He had never felt a love like this before, not even for her mother. Joel would go to hell and back for Sarah, make a deal with any devil, but he also knew that if she had been stripped from him like Eurydice, he would look. He couldnât bear not to see his girl. That would kill him.Â
Hell, it nearly did.
Much like Eurydice, Sarah had died knowing she was loved. In that final look back, cradled tightly in Joelâs arms, she knew he loved her.Â
Joel felt his heart ache for his lost girls. The ones he tried to save. The ones he couldnât save. He understood that bastard Orpheus now. That all-consuming grief and to have felt it not once, but twice? It was nearly unbearable. If he could, Joel too would lament forever, sitting on his porch with his guitar, letting the strings weep the tears Joel refused to shed.
Itâs moments like this where Joel wishes he hadnât flinched on that day early into the outbreak. But Joel had to keep walking. He had to. He couldnât let himself fall back into the sounds and memories of the past, rewatching them play over and over in his mind, being harshly reminded of his mistakes â his failures â his inability to save the people he loved. If that small glimmer of hope that lived deep within his chest said anything to Joel, it was that he had to keep walking. If he had any chance of fixing things with Ellie, he had to keep walking. He learned his lesson, or so he thought. He couldnât look back.Â
A stillness fell over Joel as he approached the barn, its ancient wooden structure patched together like an old quilt. There was a spark of anticipation that lingered in the air, something Joel couldnât quite put his finger on. It made his skin prickle and the gentle curls on the back of his neck stand on high alert. His heart stopped as he scanned the horizon for clickers or raiders, wondering if his subconscious was trying to tell him something.Â
As Joel rounded the corner to the barn, the only sound to be heard was the soft munching of hay and Dan mumbling to himself. Dan was a familiar face from patrol, someone who had done several shifts with Joel over the years. A fairly decent guy who just wanted to get the job done and go home to his wife, something Joel respected.Â
Commotion arose as Joel started to step into the stables. The large doors to the barn swung open with a thundering bang, sending the horses into a wild frenzy, bucking frantically in every direction. A flash of panic skates across Danâs face as he tries to calm the horse in his grip, dropping a bucket of apples in the process.
âShh, shh, itâs okay girl.â He tries to soothe the wild horse beside him, holding the reigns for dear life, as he puts his free hand out to calm another.
âWhat the fuck is going on, Dan!?â Joel yells across the barn, trying to be heard over the high pitched squeals and neighs coming from the band of horses. He rushes in, arms spread to try and tame the majestic creatures. Joel could see Dan lift his gaze towards him, a puzzled look on his face, eyes squinting at Joel before his attention was brought back to the horse beside him, a sharp neigh piercing their ears.Â
âShimmer, shhh, donât worry! Sheâll be here soon tâsee you.â Dan continues to murmur to the horse, petting her snout as he slowly coaxes her.Â
Shimmer? Sâin Ellieâs horse?? Ellieâs here!? Joelâs mind racesâ howâd no one tell me that Ellie was here?!Â
âDan! Ellieâs here!?â Joel frantically shouts over the horses again, his heart rate skyrocketing as he tries to tame them into a calmer state. Out of the corner of his eye, Joel notices his horse, Callus. Slowly approaching the large animal, hand out reached to the bucking stallion, murmuring sweet words of endearment, coaxing the animal back into a calmer state.Â
I knew ya were a good horse, Joel smirks to himself as he gives Callus some gentle pats of encouragement. He quickly focused back on the bucking mare in front of him, trying not to get kicked in the side of the head.
âDan, buddy! A lil help here!!â Joel yells back again, trying to catch his buddies attention as he puts his hand out to the mare.
âOh shit, Iâm gonna be late!â Dan hisses, petting shimmer one last time before racing out of the barn, leaving Joel with the tantruming horses.Â
âAnd Iâm the one with shit hearing.â Joel grumbles, rolling his eyes as he starts to surrender to the horses, nervously backing away from the squealing animals and towards his own.Â
âWhat happened buddy?â Joel asks Callus as if he could reply, gently petting the animalsâ long snout. Joel had such loyalty to the steed, he had gotten Joel out of many sticky situations and home safe more times than he could count. The gentle affection that Callus gave him was often the only affection Joel received these days. The horse whines in response, as if he was griping along with Joel, turning to nuzzle his head into Joelâs shoulder. At least you love me, Joel thinks to himself as he brushes the velvety fur of the large animal. He sees the other horses in the pen continuing to grow restless, bucking their legs in the air and bleating.Â
This was out of character for the horses, especially Ellieâs horse Shimmer. She knew Joel and was easily calmed by him, yet his presence was working her up even more. What in the hell is out there that spooked them? This couldnât just be because of the door?
Joel could feel the panic starting to rise in his chest, itâs one thing to control one wild horse, but an entire barn full?! This was beyond Joelâs scope, he had to call in reinforcements to get these horses settled.Â
âIâll be back.â He promises Callus, patting him once more on his back hip before sprinting out of the barn.Â
That lingering feeling continued to fill Joel with dread. He scanned the area for anyone who would possibly help him, but the area was sparse. Where is everyone? Was there something going on that he didnât know about? What did the horses know that he didnât?? Were they all with Ellie? Where is Ellie? Fuck, did something happen to Ellie?!
Something inside of Joel started to twist and turn. What the fuck was going on? Why didnât someone come to tell him? Where the fuck was Tommy?Â
Tommy.Â
That mother fucker. Whatever is going on, Tommy either knows and isnât saying anything or he should know and is completely oblivious to the weirdness among town today.
Making good on his word, Joel returned to the barn to see Callus one last time. His noble steed had moved from his resting place in the hay to a windowed spot by the barn door, as if he was anxiously waiting for Joelâs return.Â
As Joel approached, poking his head through the little window, he was shocked by the sudden calm that had fallen over the horses. What the actual fuck?
âThey musta seen a snake âr somethinâ, eh buddy?â Joel mumbles slowly under his breath to the horse, patting his snout again as he tries to piece together the odd scene that had just played out in front of him.Â
Joelâs mind was filled with questions as he walked back towards the bar to find Tommy. These swirling questions were trying to wrap themselves around the strange events of today. Today was supposed to be a normal day. He felt sick, knowing that Ellie was in town and not a single soul came to tell him. Not even his own brother. Yeah, they werenât on speaking terms at the moment after a whiskey fueled blow out a few weeks after Ellie left. Tommy just didnât know when to fucking stop talking sometimesâ there was no comparison to Ellie, let alone Sarah âand yeah, Joel loved his nephew but Tommy sayinâ that the kid could fill the gap that those girls left in Joelâs heart was dumb. And Joel told him so. In less kinder language, but he told him so. With a broken whiskey tumbler and a slammed door, The Miller brotherâs stopped speaking to one another.
But Tommy would tell him that Ellie was back? Even if they werenât speaking? He knew what this would mean to Joel.Â
Unless Tommy hated him too.Â
Sarah would be so disappointed. Seeing the two of them like this? The only family she ever knew split up and not speaking. She would be embarrassed of Joel, of his immature behaviour and hardened manner. This wasnât the kind, loving dad she once had. She would have marched Joel over and made him apologize, immediatelyâ with warm cookies! To which Joel would have mumbled something about how Tommy would probably prefer a cold case of beer, but nope! Warm cookies.Â
Joel silently promised her that once he got things sorted with Ellie, he would go over to Tommyâs and properly apologize. He may not know how to bake cookies, but heâd find something. Something of the likeness of Sarah to help bandage the emotional wounds he caused. He would vow to do better, if not for himself, but for the sake of Sarah.Â
A flash of auburn hair pulled Joel from his thoughtsâ was that Ellie?
His pace quickened as he tried to follow the girl, trying to confirm that it was in fact Ellie. She suddenly stopped in her tracks, suspiciously looking over her shoulder towards Joel.Â
Holy shit, it was Ellie.
Before Joelâs brain could register that it was her, his lungs were screaming out, hands cupping his mouth to amplify his dark, gravely voice. Without a single flinch, she kept moving, ignoring Joelâs call and entering the thick wooden doors of The Tipsy Bison.Â
Fuck, she must be really mad, Joel thinks to himself, feeling that small glimmer of hope that lived deep in his chest slowly shrivel up and disappear as he approaches the enterance to the bar. Tempted to go in after her, yet Joel couldnât bring himself to go in. Ellie needed space, she has made that abundantly clear. The least Joel could do was respect it.Â
He couldnât blame Ellieâ what he had done to her was unfair â stripping her of one of the few choices she had in this fucked up world, and then to lie about it? That was the worst thing he could have done. At his grown age, he should know this by now, having lectured not one but two daughters and a mangey brother about how awful lying is. âI canât help you if you lie, Sarahâ, âI canât get you out of trouble if you arenât honest with me, Tommyâ, âEllie, lying hurts peoples feelingsâ, âWhen you lie, I canât trust you, Joel.âÂ
He was trying to protect her. Even with the best intentions, much like that bastard, Orpheus, he fucked up. This was a possibly irreversible mistake with severe consequences, and that killed Joel. Nearly more than the guilt he had harboured holding onto that lie. Letting it grow and wrap itself around his insides like a big fat, hairy tumor with teeth. He had to let it out because Ellie deserved the truth. And while the repercussions of his actions may be the very death of him, he had no regrets. He would do it again, and again, in every life, to save Ellie.Â
The one daughter he could save.Â
If this is his penance, so be it. At least he knew she was safe and home. Maybe Tommy or Maria will talk some sense into her, help her understand why Joel had done what he had done. Or at least help her find the grace to forgive him, even just a little. And if sheâd give him the chance, he would do anything and everything to fix this. A clean slate, a new leafâ whatever Ellie needed Joel would do.
She looked older, her hair longer than it had been when she left, half up in a way that reminded Joel of Tess. He wondered what kind of adventures she had been on and how things were going with Dina. He wanted so desperately to give her the copy of Back to the Future that he had found on a scouting mission a while back, remembering their extensive conversations about it and wanting to hold true to his promise to her. Maybe Tommy could be the middle man? He thought, leaning against the rickety planks that made up The Tipsy Bison.Â
He was so lost in thought that he nearly missed Ellie leaving the bar, walking fiercely in the direction of Joelâs home, mumbling under her breath. Her shoulders were hunched over, hugging her arms close to her body as she marched forward, leaving Joel trailing behind.Â
âEllie, wait!â Joel shouts, trying to catch up to her brisk pace.Â
ââI donât even know how we even got here,â Ellie gasps out, her voice muddled and dry. It sounded like she had been crying.Â
âGot where, Ellie? Whatâre you talkinâ âbout?â Joel asks, still a few steps behind the girl, trying to respect her space. âWhat happened?â He prods softly, following her around the corner into their neighbourhood.Â
âItâs just all so fucked up! Fuck!â She sobs, kicking a neighbours mailbox, wincing gently at the impact of her foot to the wooden post. Joel felt himself grimace at her anger, he knew this was his fault. He deserved her silence. There were a million things that he wanted to say to Ellie, but he knew at that moment that the best thing he could do is shut up and listen.Â
âI donât even know what the fuck youâd want, Joel.â She sighs, stopping as she approaches the front steps of what was once their house, leaning gently on the little black mailbox that has âThe Millerâsâ scrawled across it in white paint.Â
âI want whatever will make you happy, Ellie. I will do whatever I got to tâbuild your trust again.â Joel murmurs softly, still a respectful distance from Ellie, watching her trace the white letters with her fingers, a single tear falls from her cheek as she looks up towards his house. Joel watches Ellie sigh deeply, the rise and fall of her shoulders giving her courage to move forward up the steps to their house.Â
Sheâs home. These are baby steps! This is a start. For the first time in ages, Joel could believe that little glimmer of hope in his chest. He could feel it radiating warmth throughout his body, tightening his throat as he sucked back happy tears that threatened to fall. His girl was home.Â
He followed Ellie up the steps, watching as she paused to grab his guitar. The lonely guitar that had waited so patiently for its duet partner to return, ready and waiting to be strummed once again. She held the neck delicately, blowing some of the dust off of the polished wood, her small hands holding the guitar close. Her soft grasp was juxtaposed with a sudden rigidity in her back and shoulders.Â
âIâm gonna find who did this to you.â She hisses, opening the door to the house and slamming it, leaving Joel stunned on the porch.
What in the fuck was she talking about? Who was she talking about? Confusion once again swirling around in Joelâs head for the millionth time that day. He went to reach for the door knob when the front door suddenly swung open, Ellie barreling through with her arms filled with some of Joelâs possessions; a Linda Ronstadt record, some flannel shirts, the watch that Sarah gave him and his guitar strapped to her back.Â
âWhere in the hell are you goinâ off with my stuff?!â Joel barks, furious at the thievery taking place before his eyes. The least Ellie could do was ask, she knows he would say yes! Ellie continues to ignore him, marching back towards The Tipsy Bison, rambling on and on about how she is going to get payback.Â
Payback for what?
âEllie, can yâplease just stop for a fuckinâ minute ân throw me a bone here? Yâre runninâ off with my stuff, the least ya can do is acknowledge me, damn it!â Joel shouts, his pace quickening to catch up with hers. That glimmer of hope is now replaced with sheer rage. This little punk. Joel knew he still had no business disrespecting Ellieâs space and wishes, but heâd be damned if he let her run off with his favourite things without so much as a short acknowledgement. Heâd raised her better than that.Â
She powered through, pushing the doors to The Tipsy Bison open, Joel following closely behind. The bar was quiet for the afternoon, a small group of people were gathered around a table at the back. As Joel got closer, he started to recognize them, Dan from patrol and his wife, a couple of nice folk from the stables, Maria and Tommy, and then Ellie, who was laying all of Joelâs items out on the table.Â
âIâm sorry, kiddo. I know this fuckinâ sucks.â Tommy says softly, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. âI remember when my mom died, I was your age. It fuckinâ sucked.â
Yeah, it did suck. Dad wouldnât get outta bed and we had to do all the planninâ â wait, died? Who the hell died?!
âAre you sure you donât wanna let us handle this?â Maria asks cautiously, knowing the weight that this would place on Ellieâs shoulders.Â
âYeah, no offence, but Joel would hate whatever you guys would plan.â Ellie says with a morbid chuckle, âItâs the least I can do. I feel like I owe it to him, ya know? We were about to turn a new leafâ I was going to invite him to watch a movie with me and Dina that night.â She sighs a tired sigh, her voice sounding like she is crying but no tears come. âMaybe, if I had just asked, Joel wouldnât have been home. That this wouldnât have happened. That he wouldnât be dead.â Ellieâs voice breaks on the last word, her tears finally falling as Maria and Tommy hush her, cradling the young girl in their arms.Â
Joel felt his whole body go cold. He was dead? How could he not remember dying? How could he not remember seeing Ellie? What in the fuck is going on. This has to be some sick fucking joke that theyâre all playing, some weird April fools prank that his old heart couldnât fucking handle. God, he was gonna give it to Tommy once they snapped out of it.Â
âIâm gonna go check out the spot you guys picked. Make sure itâs not shit.â Ellie mumbles softly into Mariaâs shoulder, her brash comments eliciting a chuckle from Tommy.Â
âAlright kiddo, you know where to find us.â Tommy quietly replies, pulling out a chair to sit at the table filled with Joelâs belongings.Â
Ellieâs footsteps slowed as she approached the quiet cemetery. Joel waited impatiently for the rest of the gang to sneak up on him and spook him, or shove him into an open grave as the cherry on top of their sick joke.Â
But there was something about the solemn look on Ellieâs face that scared Joel. Her usually bright eyes were dark and sunken, red lining the amber of her eyes and her voice was raspy and aged. She couldnât be this good of an actress, her inability to hold in a giggle when reciting her dad jokes was more than enough evidence to prove that she couldnât act if her life depended on it.
Was this why everyone had been acting so strangely today? Because they were mourning him? But he woke up in his bed, like he did every day� Was this purgatory? Oh fuck, is this hell??
Noâ Joel is not dead. He canât be. He fucking woke up this morning and went to work! The way he does every day. This is a sick joke as payback for Joel mistreating everyone, some twisted version of a Christmas Carol where Joel will come out the other end redeemed and live happily ever afterâŠafter apologizing to Tommy and Ellie.
His logic made sense until Ellie stopped in front of a grave; a 6 foot abyss staring right back at her, threatening to suck her in. The dirt was piled beside the ashy grey tombstone that harshly read Joel Miller across the top.Â
âFuck you, Joel.â Ellie solemnly curses under her breath, sitting beside the heavy stone. She slowly leaned onto it, imagining it were Joelâs broad shoulder. âIâm so mad at you for dying.â She adds slowly, picking up a small rock and starting to build a pile beside the tombstone. âYou promised me so many things, and now youâre dead. All because of me.â Ellie cries, wiping her snot and running tears on her sleeve, âyou didnât even finish teaching me that stupid song.âÂ
Joel couldnât believe the sight before him. That was his name scrawled across that tombstone, matching the one his parents had, similar to the one Sarah deserved to have. He was dead and in a few short hours, his cold, dead, battered body would be buried in that hole in the ground, like the many bodies Joel had buried in his twenty plus years of living in this hellscape.Â
He felt so incomplete. He wanted to live! He wanted to live for Sarah.
There was a reason that bullet hadnât killed him! He was meant to live! He had so much left to teach Ellie. Memories to create with his small family, traditions for him and Tommy to pass along to their kids. Fuck, Tommyâ he died and the last words Joel said to his brother were so despicable that he couldnât even bear to repeat them to himself. He didnât get to tell a single one of them that he loved them, let alone how much. And selfishly? He died without hearing it back.
Joel knew that it was over, but he was so scared. Was this how Sarah felt when she died? What happens now!? His life was just starting to begin again, and now itâs gone. Itâs over.
Picking up the final rock to her small pile, similar to the one she watched Joel build after Tess died, she sighed, the look of fear and grief filling her eyes, a look Joel knew all too well. âIâm going to miss you every day for the rest of my life.â She whispers softly, her voice breaking on almost every word. In a blurred mess of tears, she places the final stone at the top of the pile beside Joelâs resting place, and with one final sob she stands up wiping her hands on her jeans before turning back to the front gates of the cemetery.Â
When that bastard Orpheus finally died, he was reunited with his love, Eurydice, who greeted him into the afterlife. But that was only a myth, a tale made up to teach you a lesson. Maybe thatâs exactly it. Maybe this was Joelâs lessonâ or punishment, for all the cruel misdeeds he committed in order to survive this hellscape they called life. He had hoped many times that if God were real, he would be reunited with Sarah when his time came. That seeing her bright, smiling face once more would ease his grief of his life ending and provide him a comfort he had desired for decades. That last look back to bring him peace in his final moments.
But this isnât a myth. Sarah wasnât here, waiting for him to appear, to hold his hand once more and help him cross over in their long awaited reunion.
No one held him in their arms as life slowly drained from his eyes, and his pulse started to slow, whispering sweet nothings into his ear to calm his fear. He was alone. Even in death, no one looked back for Joel Miller. Â
tag list: @evolnoomym @mrsmando @mrs-hardy-hunnam-butler-pascal @picketniffler @letsgobarbs @itsokbbygrl @marilovespedro @syd-djarin
(if you donât want to be included in my tag list, pls let me know!! I just wanted to add names for folks who I thought may be interested in reading this đ€)
#tessa's assets#joel miller#pedro pascal#joel miller thoughts#joel miller x reader#joel miller fanfiction#Joel miller angst#Tommy Miller#Jackson!Joel#ellie williams#TLOU#TLOU 2#Sarah Miller
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folklore m. list
‷ find next part here!
IN WHICH : chris cheats on his girlfriend during the summer with a girl named augustine..
⥠Ęâ . AUGUSTINES POV ⥠Ęâ .
iâve always been hated at school, people would perceive me as a mean girl or was even voted as biggest bitch at my previous high school. i always saw myself as that, a bitch. i never wanted to be mean it was just the negative thoughts that surrounded in my head. until i met chris, although we only knew each other for 2 in a half months he helped me a lot. he made me feel special about myself and helped me feel so many emotions other than anger and sadness.
flashback one
augustine laid on a towel on the sandy beach, the sun kissed her body perfectly as she listened to music and watched the water. while peacefully enjoying the summer air she saw a ball roll towards her in the conner of her eye, turning around to quickly stop it she noticed a tall boy walking towards her, she figured it was his.
once he got closer she lightly pushed the ball towards him, âthanks.â he said. when augustine looked up to see his face she saw one of the most attractive guys ever, augustine never had a special liking to being in a relationship with anybody. but somehow this guy made butterflies in her stomach, âof course.â she smiled.
flashback two
it has been 2 weeks since the day augustine and chris met on the beach. they needed up going to the same restaurant that night so chris asked for her number. they began to get closer and closer, hanging out almost everyday. augustine even gave him a mini tour of the small city, which was weird because augustine knew she would never do this for anybody..but chris was different to her.
chris and augustine sat on her full size bed. augustine was home alone that day so she decided to bring chris over to hang out. the movie âbones and allâ played in the background as chris and augustine laughed and chatted together.
âthis movie is a little weird..â chris judged the film, âhey i love this movie!â augustine said offended. âi mean itâs not bad but their cannibals!â he yelled out. augustine giggled at this, seeing how chris was feeling iffy of the movie.
chris looked at augustine and admired the way she laughed. he grabbed the side of her cheek to make her look at him, âyoure beautiful..â he whispered. augustine was speechless. sheâs never experienced this before so she was baffled, her cheeks burned up at the random compliment. chris began to lean in so slowly to her. augustineâs mind was wild, her inexperienced self was so nervous but she did not want to show it.
soon the twos lips connected. they began to make out, their lips found a perfect rhythm for each other. chris leaned into her, wanting and needing more. he moved his hands to her waist and started to hoist her onto his lap.
as they continued to make out, chrisâ phone started to buzz. augustine pulled away and tried to look over and see who it was. before she could even reach for it, chris snatched it away and turned it off. âwho was that?â she questioned, ânobody baby donât worry about it.â chris reassured and leaned back in to her soft lips. the nickname âbabyâ made augustineâs stomach turn.
chris began to reach for augustineâs shirt and tugged on it asking for her to take it off immediatelyâŠ.which she did.
flashback three
augustine and chris decided to have a beach day. they sat together under the hot sun enjoying the view of the clear waters. chris laid on his stomach letting the sun kiss his back, augustine stared at him. she adored the way he looked, her fingers ran through his hair but quickly moved to his back.
she began to trace out the letters, â A U G U S T I N Eâ all she wanted to do was write her name across his back, and show off who she truly loved. chris moved his head to stare at her, âthat tickles.â she laughed at him and leaned down to kiss his shoulder.
flashback four
today was chrisâ final day, he was leaving to go back to his home town. augustine had plans to go to her cousins birthday party but told them she couldnât go due to being sick, but was she really sick? no. she just needed to say her last goodbye to chris.
after picking up chris, they decided to go to a random parking lot and stayed there to watch the sunset.
âim gonna miss you.â augustine whispered to chris as she laid her head in the knees that were tucked up to her chest. âim gonna miss you too a.â chris told her, reaching his hand to her soft hair and began to run his long fingers through her hair.
âyou promise not to grow distant from me?â augustine asked him, âi promise.â he said bringing up his pinky finger. she smiled at this gesture and linked her pinky with his.
chris pulled her into his chest as he kisssd the top of her head. âi love you.â he said in her brunette hair, âi love you.â she said nuzzling herself into his chest.
present time
augustine and chris have been separated for a month and 3 weeks. augustine counted down all the days she wasnât able to see him, she would cancel plans just in case heâd call and try reaching out multiple times a day. but yet chris grew distant. which felt weird because he promised her not to.
as much as she didnât want it to be the only thing she would think about, it was. she would have chris in her mind 24/7, the negative thoughts clouding her head over and over as if she had no escape and she was back at square one.
while siting alone in her dark room, she felt her phone buzz, it was her cousin inez. but deep in her thought she prayed it was chris instead.
she didnât know what to think. there was no way, chris showed so much love for her why would he lie? why would he do that? so many questions popped up in her brain and she couldnât get it to stop. augustine felt lost and confused.. she decided to text chris about it.
âchris are you fucking serious. you have a girlfriend!â she typed out, the second she sent it she sees the bold letters of âREADâ
âdonât leave me on read i know your seeing this please just be honest with me!â
âi thought what we had was realâ
âi loved you!!!! why would you lie what is your problem?â
but after hitting send.. her message turned green instead of blue.
ââââââââ
melly note! i use mobile so i canât add another boarder⊠anyways this kinda sucks cuz i refuse to proof read so if u see mistakes thats why anyways ily all so badddd
@sturns-mermaid @meerkatzthings @casssturn @endrfairy
#sturn5iolo#melly speaks đËâË#folklore trilogy â.á#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#christopher sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x reader#sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#sturniolo x reader
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vocaloid hyperfixation goes crazy man. What Do You Mean I want to learn how to make an utau of myself? I took one(1) music theory class in high school. I didn't even do any of the homework. I stopped reading the textbook after the first day of class.
#kaito ramblings#vocaloid#utau#granted i did graduate top of that class alongside the teachers literal children#who have been doing music since they could walk#but this was several years ago now#and i havent really pursued music at all since#also i took piano lessons two separate times across like 10 years (once as a baby once in high school)#and i just couldnt get myself to practice at all either time#in retrospect that was probably the fault of the neurodivergence (adhd)
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It's always interesting to hear about people's weird/unexpected "alternate life paths". Like, something that you could have done with your life, a job you almost took, a school you almost went to, etc - that was still actually realistic enough that it could have happened, but NOW it seems to not suit your current personality.
Like for example, I currently hate advertising (how manipulative it is, brands trying to be 'relatable', social media amplifying it to an obnoxious extreme, etc.) so much that even seeing a little ad before a youtube video is grating to even witness, but there was a point in time where I was genuinely seriously considering going into marketing/making commercials as a career lol. Or like, I have a relative who was very inclined to be a pastor when they were younger, even though today they're a super strong atheist, etc. etc.
#BECAUSE I knew I really liked filming and editing things and doing set design and costume design (from having done little bits of that#here and there in media classes and my own stuff - i used to be a lot more into making videos than I am now). BUT I was always thinking#that a movie is WAAY to big and long. even a short film. So I was trying to think of ways I could still like#have the fun of scouting locations to film and dressing up actors and etc. etc. without it having to be a Huge Million Dollar Production#on tv show or movie level. SO then I was thinking about like... just doing commercials. Or music videos. Like shorter things where I still#get the fun of the filming and everything but it's less of an intensive long term project.#So there is an alternate version of me (I suppose if i somehow did not end up having physical and mental health issues#as badly somehow.. or like.. randomly came into wealth and was able to pay my way through a nice college despite missing#days constantly being out because I'm sick or something lol) that works in some corporate advertising office coming up with commercials#and directing or filming them or doing the sets for them or something in that general vicinity.#I also was considering being a corporate psychologist. or whatever its called.. oh from google:#''Industrial and organizational (I/O) psychologists study and assess individual group and organization dynamics in the workplace''#I don't think I even knew what the job entailed. I was at the time just thinking like.. the type of person that comes into a business offic#and gives everyone personality assessments or does MBTI or big-5 testing crap for whatever reason that some businesses get that#done for people. Really i just wanted to be in a Corporate Big Office setting yet still do psychology. Because I used to be really fixated#on living in a big city. Like the ideas of everything being walkable. picking up a coffee in the morning. walking to my job in a Big#Skyscraper Building. people watching in a huge hotel lobby for lunch. flying frequently (I love airplanes and airports aesthetically).#living in an apartment with a giant window overlooking the city. etc. etc. BUT that was before i had really BEEN to a city. Then I actually#hung around a city a few times and went places and I was like... AUGh... The Sensory Overwhelm.. cars people lights loudness noise scary#everything happening all at once. etc. etc. (though even when I wanted to live in a city i NEVER strove for the Night Life. when i say I#enjoy city imagery I mean like... in the day time. Many people who like cities talk about The Night Life and post pictures of cities all#lit up at night and clubs and dancing and restaurants. none of that EVER appealed to me. perhaps a sign I am not a real city person. Like#I am NOT standing in a crowded bar full of loud people in the middle of the night lol.. get AWAY from me!!) but I do adore the#architecture of like bright white clean sterile modern spaces like huge airport lobbies or malls or etc. I think thats what reminded me of#city and what I liked about the idea of that life. Like I always LOVED the layout of schools and hospitals and trainstations and public#transport in general. Though even then I knew enough that I would not be a good architect/city planner. so I guess my adoration for those#spaces was merely to be channeled into LIVING there. but then I realized I didn't even really want to do that that much. I mean I still#definitely aim to live NEAR a city. like the little areas outside of it. I would never live in a rural place 4 hours from anything. I liter#ally just COULDNT since I need close access to hospitals sometimes lol. But I used to want to live in the CENTER of citites like high rise#condo. and now I'm like.... eh....... perhaps a smaller quieter walkable space nearby lol.. ANYWAY.. alternate me in my Business Suit eheh
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hhhh talking about my writing was fun but 30 tags is not enough.. yes i have 3 major influences but i have minor ones too.. it is a lovechild of my favorite things.. writing is so fun and i have no self control or a concept of pacing myself i will sit there for 16 hours and get hit with every status effect but by god does it all just flow out of me. I've always been a music person yes but i also used to write a lot into early adulthood until The Incidentâą
but i am ready 2 jump back into it. i think comics are a great middle ground between the two mediums so i don't get As into writing bc i kind of started going crazy last time đ«Ą i can take a more structured approach to it that forces me to pace myself and think about it differently. i love art.... i love making things i love knowing how to do things i love knowing how to play things i love having so many creative outlets, even if i don't do a lot of them regularly lol. it is enriching đł and nice to know that it's always there to come back to when u want.
#if u want the tea my imagination at the time was like i could space out and straight up just be another person POV doing every little#thing as if i were them for hours and the experience would come together without having to even think about it.#different times/places/contexts/conversations etc. forced 2 to to my mom's lil cult meetings for 2 hours twice a week#i would opt to do these imagination exercises instead to rly put myself in a character's perspective. every stepâ stumbleâ#riding in a carriage together for the entirety from point A to B etc. WELL i was working on a horror anthology somewhere 18/19#(that had a small local following đ«¶đŸ) and it its concept was like the Twilight zone but a lot darker. it was called interdimensional#and the main recurring character never actually shows up in the story. they r an omnipresent god of death who exists everywhere but#exists outside of our realmâ and it picks random people to reveal itself to as a symbol. it can be apparent or just in passing that#the entry's MC sees it inâ it will appear on something somewhere and once it's brought up it's a cue to the reader that this person#has just been sent to an alternate reality that leads towards their inevitable death. for the character nothing ever changes immediately#but the different starts to creep its way inâ as does death's approach at its crescendo but the path's i took to get there were đš#and after enough entries i started to see the symbol irl and hallucinate some other stuff from my stories and it really scared me#and made me stop đ«Ą but i think in retrospect i just went too hard on the imagination exercises and wished i tried cultivating it instead#give myself time to settle and get in control.. but alasâ she has not written seriously since. to this day it still flows out of me if#i just sit down to do itâ but i don't think I'm at risk of something like that happening again anymore :3 so yeah âĄâ i am learning how to#draw and trying not 2 force it bc i want it to b fun as a little journey for me and i look forward to the day i can come back to actively#writing again too đ«¶đŸ i miss it but i also want to b able to draw à«źâ Ë â€ Ë âá#learn the hard thing first then do the stuff that comes naturally.... i also want to get back into music sometime but clearly i got a lot of#other stuff to work on đ i burnt myself out on it learning too many things and not having enough fun with it anymoreâ#but i have a better healthier with art these days and i know it'll be great to come back to when I'm ready đđ#i have been considering getting an acoustic or bass guitar tho đ§ the beauty of physical instruments.. they're just there ready 2 go..#I've been doing mostly digital the past few yearsâ when i was making music. it was also rly hard to when i was w my ex à«ź â ï»âá#that's a whole other rant lol. but ugh digital is like u gotta set it up u gotta make space and then u gotta be in one spot the whole time#i just wanna lay in bed and vibe or something yfm.. walk around maybe idk. do something less structured.#maybe.. hm. hmmm đ§#I'm going to guitar center lol c ya âđŸ getting a bass and amp and maybe a guitar too depending on the price
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youtube
Beasties of Greenhollow soundtrack! Some tracks on this are from older projects like elphame but all of them have been reworked in some way. Most of them are entirely new. Enjoy!
#soundtrack#music#indiegamedev#Youtube#beasties of greenhollow#indiegame#chiptune#elphame#hey again gang. Another scream into the void#Things have been getting more interesting tbh#I'm starting therapy again. I have learned from this that my anxiety is in the very very high end.#And I guess the only thing that surprises me about that is that it's an abnormally high amount vs the average.#I've had more intrusive thoughts this week than in a long time. (I almost said ever but that was 2021 where they woke me up...)#It's mostly about my mistakes and ppl I've scared out of being in my life because of the actions based on my anxieties.#Like âif i could go back in time I could fix itâ... girl you'd be going back in time like 100 times. At that point it's not fair lmao#I think I shouldn't talk about who I'm dating here anymore. Friends told me to stop seeing so many new people and I took that advice.#I'm exercising incredibly frequently; obsessively so. It really doesn't change much in my anxiety. I walk for like 3 hours a day.#My friend group is... difficult. One of us had a falling out with another and the dynamic is just so awkward for me now.#it just seems like everyone else has moved past it though but I still miss him. I don't think this can be reversed#we used to talk on my stream and play digimon cards n jackbox and d&d... But now they're only interested in d&d which I don't love#For god's sake I've published a game and moved to a nice new place. why aren't I happy hahahaha#work is no longer enjoyable since BoG was publised. our new project is in an iffy category but it's not my place to argue#I want to write music and animate but I have to do my hours for this new project before I can do anything like that...#I ended up siding with my current boss in that ethical dilemma I posted about and rn idk if that was the right decision.#Okay what can i talk about that's good? We moved to a nice place. I'm celebrating BoG's release with family tomorrow.#Graeme's playing Iconoclasts- one of my favourite games! He's also returning to work soon so it'll be less awkward to have a lady over#Thinking about good stuff going on just draws the mind to holidays I've had before. I treasure my memories!#Okay so I've complained for a long long time bc life doesn't feel great rn. But rest assured I already know this is 90% my fault hahaha#Oh another good thing that happened!!! My elestrals card was printed and ppl are really happy with it. I have a card in a real card game!!!#don't tell anyone but there's another one on the way. Anyway that will do for now. I'm sorry about my... self.
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back on my well and the lighthouse shit đ
#uhGGghGHHHHHGHDHFHFBS it's soOOOOOO GOOD IDBSHFHD FKDJ SAKSD#LIKE.#in 2017 I converted it text to speech so I could listen to it in the car except I didn't have a car bc I couldn't drive so basically this#fanfic is the reason I passed my driving test. amongst other things#where would I be if I hadn't read this fanfic one night in april 2017. who would I be.........#but anyway so I was on a long walk today and I'm still in my ''I have no stable hyperfixation and therefore no music appeals to me'' era#and it was a walk I hadn't been since probably 2017 herself. so I was like. why not get in the 2017 spirit and listen to#the text to speech audio of that fanfic#so now I'm 5 chapters in and it is still SO good#and kenny's portrayal is still everything to me#but like the whole thing is so good. idk what else to say except it's so good. but it is anyway#ajfheuffjgyhgghggyhhhhh and so on#it's one of those things I would recommend to everyone even though it requires talking about south park on main#but. idk. it's good on its own anyway. although I do like all the little references it has#and I just like the way it's written generally#anyway the well and the lighthouse by effingbirds my most beloved more beloved than most things ever#ramble
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sunday's đă
€Ś đđ
{yuta okkotsu x popular f!reader}
summary: yuta okkotsu has been in love with you since he started collegeâ living in the shadows of your popularity as he watched from afar how your bouncy and genuine kind soul prospered and shined everywhere you went. but during one of his shifts at the 50s diner down the street from his campus, you walk in with you friends one sunday night and immediately bond over your shared love for elvis presleyâs music, yuta stammering and fidgety at how pretty you are up close, and you falling fast for his pinky cheeks, sweet little words, and how he takes care of you every single day.
warnings: college!au, FLUUUFFF omg so cute, lovesick yuta he thinks youâre so prettyyy, no smut in this one!, popular reader, cursing, afab!reader, lots of mentions of elvis presley LOL, little bit of angst, clueless yuta, strangers to friends to lovers.
word count: 9.6k
authors note: THIS ONE HITS HOMEEE FOR MEEE AAAHHHH CAN YOU TELL I LOVE ELVIS PRESLEY? i live and breathe that man and oldies in general, so this is a love letter to him! :] this fic is all of my favorite things combined and it is SO FREAKING CUUTEEEE UGH i hope you all love it seriously <3333 MWAAHHH I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOUâ
yuta okkotsu had never seen a girl so beautiful.
you were breathtaking, watching from afar, it was truly as if the world revolved around you in the most positive way yuta could think of.
you were popularâ a beam of gorgeous light following you everywhere you went as you were always just enveloped by people and strangers and friends, them wanting to talk to you, wanting to get to know you, wanting you to better their lives because thatâs what you selflessly liked to do for everyone without knowing.
and every time heâd walk in between lectures and spot youâ feeling in the dumps if on certain days heâd miss your presence entirely, heâd just stare. stare with pink cheeks and softened eyes as you laughed and messed around with your friends or did extracurricular activities around campus, always giving a helping hand to those who needed it no matter the status.
thatâs what yuta admired the most about you. you didnât treat anybody differently just because they didnât stand in the same level as you. you didnât care about things like that, and you spoke to people with such fucking class and poise, that he always dozed off picturing how it would be like if he ever had the privilege of actually speaking with you.
thatâs how most of his work shifts went at the diner after his classes.
he would wait tables or be in the kitchen, wipe down the windows or run the hostess stand⊠and youâd be on his mindâ permanently there to torment him in the loveliest way he knew how.
and on one sunday night, you were unexpectedly there right in front of him at his job.
âhello?â
you waved a gentle hand over his face, and he snapped out of it immediately, cheeks pinky and bright, your friends snickering.
âyes! sâsorry.â he reached behind the hostess stand. âhow many are with you?â
âfour!â you responded sweetly, yuta having to swallow the huge lump in his throat as he officially saw your smile up close for the first time in his lifeâ a gorgeous contrast to what it looked like from far away.
yuta quickly grabbed the corresponding menus and stepped to the side of the hostess stand, leading you and your friends through the empty restaurant and to a big boothâ placing two menus down on each side of the table.
a series of elvis presley oldies (a personal pick from yuta) played through the jukebox in the middle of the diner while you and your friends scanned the menu, yuta fidgeting and anxious with his pen and notepad, waiting for you to order.
âdo you have a favorite milkshake from here?â your kind voice spoke, looking up at him.
âuhâ milkshake?â
your friends snickered again, but this time, you turned to them and shot them all a menacing glare.
âhey!â stop that you guysâŠâ you shook your head at them and turned back to a red faced yuta, smiling apologetically. âiâm sorry! iâm really sorry.â
your friends only looked annoyed as they buried their faces in their menus or looked away entirelyâ yuta shaking his head softly.
ânâno itâs alright. umâ i usually prefer this one-â
he timidly pointed his pen downward, the words âelvis shakeâ reading from it.
âit has uhâ vanilla ice cream with peanut butter and bananas.â he pursed his lips. âif⊠if you like that?â
âoh iâm a whore for anything with peanut butter in it!âŠâ your hands spread flat across the menu as you leaned closer, yuta shyly laughing a little at your wording.
you looked up then, your eyes bright and excited and yuta doesnât think anyone has ever looked at him the way you were at that moment.
âis that why you like it? because of the peanut butter?â
âyeah! yeah definitely... mâ mainly because of the name though.â
you stopped and your eyebrows furrowed. âelvis? do you listen to him?â
his cheeks buzzed. âdo you?â
ây/n!â one of your friends harshly whispered to you from across the table. âare we here to chit chat or are we here to eat?â
âfuck okay! jesusââ
you and the rest of your group ordered, yuta nervously scribbling down the names of various platters and drinks before silently excusing himself to send the note off to the kitchen staff.
and when it came around to serving your food, placing each individual dish down for each personâ yuta gently settled the elvis shake you got in front of you, adorned with baby pink sprinkles over a mountain of whipped cream with a cherry on top, something that yuta did extra for you out of the goodness of his infatuated heart, since it didnât come with the drink in the first place.
he didnât know why, but he could tell that the energy was different between you and your friends the second time he came around, and after hiding in the kitchen for the entirety of the time you were there instead of outside waiting tables like he was supposed to, by the third time he came back aroundâ you were fighting with them.
he quickly retreated behind the bar and made himself look busy, guiltily eavesdropping as he picked up a random salt shaker and falsely examined it.
âi donât understand why you guys canât just be nice!â you pushed. âis having a normal conversation with somebody that funny? every time?â
ây/n you always talk to a bunch of randoâs of course itâs funny.â
âwhat the hell does that even mean?â
âit means it looks odd and youâre embarrassing yourself every time you skip around not being mindful of who youâre having conversations with!â one of them seethed, their tone judgemental and rude and one yuta didnât like at all.
âlikeâ like the server today! iâm pretty sure iâve seen him around campus, heâs odd. why were you asking him aboutâ aboutâ who the fuck were you asking him about?â
âelvis.â you spat. âi was asking him about elvis."
âthat guy! who cares? he works here why do you have to always talk to people like thatââ
âlike what?!â you threw your arms up. âlike a normal decent human being would? i can see why youâd lack that.â
âexcuse me?â
âyeah. and it sucks for you.â
âsucks for?â okay. i think weâre done here.â
âway fucking done.â
as each of them scooched out of the booth, yuta watched with wide panicked eyes while you stayed seated and silent, arms crossed over your chest and lips tight as you glared.
âi donât know why everyone loves you so muchâŠâ one of them muttered. âthere isnât anything to you.â
and they all walked out, the bell above the door chiming as they did.
yutaâs eyes darted from you to the exit and to them through the window outside in the parking lot, watching fucking gobsmacked as they all got in one singular car and sped off, leaving you there by yourself and with the responsibility of the bill.
soft sniffles reached him, and he turned then, your body hunched over on the table as you cried with your head down, yutaâs heart aching for you.
he put down the random salt shaker he was holding and walked around the bar, slowly making his way towards your table.
âyou donâtââ
you shot up startled.
âsorry! sorryââ he awkwardly scratched his pinky cheek. âi was justâ gonna say you donât have to pay the bill⊠iâ i canââ
âoh! no you donât have to do that.â you wiped your cheeks. âitâs okay i can pay it.â
âbut they left you the entire bill.â he said softly.
âi know⊠itâs okay! really.â you smiled a little through your tears, the sight making his shoulders slump.
how you could possibly smile at a time like this was beyond him.
yuta started clearing the empty plates from your table when you spoke up again.
âiâm sorry you had to deal with their attitude...â you mumbled. âand my ugly crying.â
he smiled softly and shook his head. âno itâs okay. you shouldnât apologize for them.â
âi should thoughâŠâ you whined a little. âthey were being mean the moment we got here and were just straight disrespectful.â
you leaned back against the plush of the booth and crossed your arms, muttering. âitâs not like they were my friends either..â
yuta quirked a confused brow, setting the last of the plates away in the kitchen before coming back around. âthey werenât?â
ânuh uh.â you shook your head. âi had just met them today actually, from a sorority event. i thought they were nice at first but i started noticing they were a little bitchy.â
âbitchy?â he laughed a little, his heart leaping like a little leap frog at the realization that it was just you and him at the diner alone, the cooks having already gone home seeing as it was past closing time for the diner.
âyeahâŠâ you sighed deeply through your nose. âthey werenât being very nice to the other girls there either⊠andâ and when they asked me if i wanted to come eat here with them i didnât really want to go butââ you pursed your lips, a sheepish look on your face. âi have a hard time saying no to people soâŠâ
yutaâs eyes softened, leaning back against the edge of the long bar table as he eyed how resilient you tried to come across but damn well knowing you were hurting inside by their actions, your cheeks still wet and your bottom lip in a slight pout.
âwhat they said to you wasnât very niceâŠâ he murmured. âiâm sorry they did that.â
you smiled warmly. âitâs okay. i get it here and there.â
his eyebrows furrowed. âhere and there? what do you mean?â
âfrom other people that i meet.â you perked up slightly then. âdo you wanna sit?â you signaled to the seat across from you in the booth and he stiffened, eyes wide and cheeks pink as he reluctantly scooched his legs over and sat across from you.
âthey just get a little mad when i donât do what they want me to do.â
âlike be mean? like them?â
you shrugged a little, but the way your gorgeous eyes peered up at him indicated that he was right. âi suppose.â
âare all of your friends like that?â
âoh no! thankfully notâŠâ you fiddled with your fingers on the table. âa lot of them are really sweet.â
yuta never thought about how something like this could be a possibility, as all he saw was how much you were loved and idolized and sought after by literally anyone who knew your nameâ but he missed the mark on the logistics of it. he shouldâve known certain girls wouldnât be in favor of you and desired what you didnât have to work very hard for to get.
he saw how you wiped the remnants of your wet cheeks and sniffed, looking like you had at least recovered from crying but still a little dejected as you slouched over the table, eyes down.
âdo you want⊠another elvis shake?â
you looked up. âwhat?â
âaâanother shake. do you want one?â he stood slowly from the booth. âor i could get you ice cream? we just have vanilla and chocolate butââ
âoh no! itâs okay really i donât want to freeload over what you haveââ
he giggled a little. âyouâre not freeloading. iâm offering.â
and before you could reject him again, he was already making his way to the kitchenâ hands skillfully prepping his favorite milkshake like heâd done so many times before since the age of sixteen, and now skillfully and lovingly preparing it for you, the girl heâs adored since the moment he started college.
you stood and timidly followed after him, but instead of fully going into the kitchen, you stopped in front of the vintage burgundy jukebox and scanned the selection of songs.
âyou wonât get in trouble?â you worriedly called over your shoulder. âi donât want you to run into issues with your jobâŠâ
âno itâs okay!â you heard from the kitchen, glasses and silverware clinking together. âiâve been working here since high school and my manager doesnât mind. i usually umâ close on sundayâs on my own too.â
the blender went off as you spotted your favorite elvis presley song on the list of selections, perking up and quickly digging into your purse for any stray quarters you magically hoped would appear inside.
yuta switched the blender off and unhooked it from the base, pouring out the frothy liquid into a fountain glass cup.
âyou close on your own on sundayâs?â your head turned to where he was, catching little glimpses of him from the doorway as he moved to and fro. âthe entire restaurant?â
âyeahâŠâ he laughed awkwardly. âwellâ all of the time.â
âall of the time?!â you gawked, popping your head into the kitchen and accidentally scaring him.
âoh shit!ââ
âsorry!â you giggled cutely. âiâm sorryâŠâ
he laughed with you and waved you off. âitâs okay.â
yuta looked down and proceeded topping your milkshake with baby pink sprinkles again. âand yeah weâre kind of⊠understaffed right now. itâs just me and another kid.â
you hummed understandingly, watching the way he finished off your shake with two cherries on top instead of one like last time, making you softly smile in response.
he plopped a straw in. âhere you go.â
âthank you!â you bounced excitedly on your little toes and he grinned, handing the glass over to you gently.
âi hope you feel betterâŠâ
your milkshake filled cheeks made him laugh as you paused and swallowed, the sweetest expression ever on your face as your eyes flickered to his name tag and back to him.
âi do yuta⊠thank you!â
the way his name rang off your tongue, something he never ever wouldâve thought to hear come out of your mouth, to come out from you, sent him feeling lightheaded as fuck as he dropped his head down to hide his rosy cheeks, walking out of the kitchen as you followed after him.
you paused in front of the jukebox again.
âoh! i didnât get to hear your answer from earlier.â
he picked his head up. âfrom earlier?â
âifâ if you listen to elvis?â
âohââ his gaze drifted to where you had your focus on the elvis presley selection panel on the machine. âi do! i love his music.â
you beamed, eyes lighting up so excitedly as you looked at him.
âoh my god i love him too! so much!â
âreally?â he smiled. âdo youâ do you have a favorite song?â
âyeah! i have a lot...â you giggled shyly. âbut i mainly like âalways on my mind.ââ
âthat oneâs a good one!â his smile grew. âi love that one too.â
âright?!â you stepped closer to him, and his face flushed. âand you? what about you?â
âi uhâ i like âmoody blueââŠâ
you gushed. âi like that one too!â
you loved the way his pinky cheeks bloomed and how kind he wasâ the way he tried his best to make you, a stranger, feel better with a cute little milkshake, his stuttering and fidgeting something that you found yourself adoring and only made your heart mushy with the weird need to pinch his rosy cheeks.
and he loved elvis.
âiâm glad you like him.â you hummed, running the pad of your index finger mindlessly over the smooth glittery surface of the jukebox. âpeople donât really listen to him or oldies in general now.â
you gently set your nearly finished milkshake on the bar table as he nodded his head in agreement, thinking he couldnât fall more in love with you over the fact that you actually liked one of his favorite artists. âi didnâtâexpect you to eitherâŠâ
you tilted your head. âreally? why?â
âbecauseââ he stammered, eyes darting around your breathtaking face. âwell youâre popular. and pretty. and in a sorority. and i justââ
âohâ i see!â you smiled with blushing cheeks at his quick compliment, but it didnât really reach your eyes. âi understand.â
âno but!ââ your eyes stayed glued to the jukebox, and he worried that he mightâve accidentally offended you as he frantically tried to get his words together.
âi know itâs all stereotypes and assumptions so iâmâ iâm sorry.â
âitâs alright!â you giggled softly. âi just donât want you or anyone to get the wrong impression of me because of those things is allâŠâ
your eyebrows pinched in thought, and he quickly shook his head.
âiâve never!â he reached and placed a hand on your shoulder, your cheeks growing hot as he did so. âiâve never gotten the wrong impression of youâŠâ
âno?â
âno.â
you peered up at him. âwhat do you think of me then?â
âwhat do iââ he gulped. âwhat do i think?â
âyeah!â
âi think uh⊠youâre really nice.â he mumbled. âreally nice. to everyone.. to me. doesnât matter who honestly. and⊠youâre not afraid to say something if someone is being rude.â
yuta shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he avoided your gaze. âand youâre helpful⊠you put a lot of care into the things that you do, which are always never for your own benefit but for the benefit of others.â
he froze. âiâ i see you around campus! a lotâ soâŠâ
your doe eyes were soft and filled with affection and warmth, the weight of his words settling into your mind as if theyâve always belonged there. as if heâs always belonged there.
you wrung your fingers behind your back then and leaned up on your tippy toes.
âyou think iâm pretty?â
beautiful.
yuta hadnât even realized that he had called you that until the moment you mentioned it again, his eyes widening as his wobbly lips tried to form coherent sentences for you.
âwellâ well who doesnât...â he squeaked.
âbut do you?â you leaned even closer, your cute smile nearly making him want to blurt out that heâs in love with you and that heâs maybe thought about you being the mother of his children from time to time.
âiâ i do.â his eyes flickered back to yours. âi do.â
you bit your bottom lip and gleamed, giving into your impulses and reaching up to gently squeeze his flushed cheek.
âyouâre so cute yutaâŠâ you murmured, arm falling back to your side and eyes casting over the jukebox again.
and he nearly just about died.
âdo you want a little donut?â he asked. âiâ i can get it from the backââ
you and yuta spent literally the rest of the night until two in the morning chit chatting, playing various oldies tunes on the jukebox that conspired of mainly elvis presley, and yuta literally feeding you and giving you anything he possibly could just so he could watch the way you beamed at him every time he didâ even when at one point you literally begged him that it was okay, your tummy absolutely filled with sugary sweets and drinks.
you even helped yuta closeâ disinfecting and wiping down all of the tables, sweeping the floors, triple shining the little elvis mural the diner had by the hostess stand, and organizing the menuâs for tomorrowâs shift.
in the midst of you wiping down the last of the big glass windows by the entrance with him, you thought of something.
âoh my god yutaââ your head snapped in his direction, his eyes widening at your sudden outburst.
âwhat if i work here?â
he stopped.
âwork here?â
âyeah!â you nodded vigorously. âwith you!â
he bit the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from screaming. âwith me?â
âuh huh!â you chirped sweetly. âi would love to wipe down tables and listen to music with you everyday..â
yutaâs ears went red as he heard your soft voice say something so cute, wanting to literally run into the kitchen to the sink and dunk his face in sink water to cool off his boiling face.
âif thatâs okay!â you sputtered. âam i being weird? am i freaking you outââ
âno! no not at all!â the corners of his lips curled, and he smiled, genuinely smiled. a big loving one that made his cheeks hurt with how hard he was doing it, and one that made your heart lightly flutter inside your chest at the way he was looking at you.
âi can talk to my manager.â he spoke gently. âiâm pretty sure heâll take you.â
you bounced excitedly on your tippy toes, unexpectedly throwing your arms around him and landing a big fat kiss to his cheek.
âthank you thank you!â
yuta kept true to his word and talked to his manager the following day, who barely even had to think about it since he trusted yuta more than his own damn kids, waving him off and giving him the all clear to have you start the coming week.
âlook look! do you likkeeyyy?â
you twirled around in your waitress uniform, the frilly pink fabric moving and swaying with every spin you made as he casually tried to bite down on his thumb in stupid restraint.
âitâs great!â he muttered, teeth locked around his thumb still. âyou look great y/n.â
âthanks thanks!â
and you hopped over, giving him another quick kiss on the cheek before skipping away to the kitchen, him ecstatic as heâd been wanting another one so fucking badly again since the first time you did itâ him biting down even harder on his thumb when you disappeared from view.
âwhy do you look like youâre about to shit yourself?â
yuta whipped around and saw his other coworker, yuji, the kid who shares shifts with him sometimes and spills everything and anything that comes out of his mouth without thinking twice about it, standing next to him with a clueless face.
yuji then wiggled his eyebrows teasingly. âis it the girl? the pretty one? the one with the big assââ
âknock it offââ yuta shoved him away lightly and walked off, crouching down behind the bar counter and sorting through piles of rolled up silverware and buffet napkins.
âdo you like her? yes or no?â yuji leaned against the edge of the bar.
his cheeks went pink.
âbecause if not iâm gonna go try yâknowââ
yuta scoffed. âyuji youâre a freshman in high school and weâre in college. sheâs in collegeââ
âokay maybe she likes them young? cougar moment?â
yuta looked at him absolutely horrified and bewildered. âyouâre fucking insaneââ
his reaction and response only made yuji double over in a fit of laughter, clutching his stomach and gasping for breath as yuta looked at him with an unamused face.
âiâm kidding! iâm just kidding i know you like her youâve been red in the face the minute she clocked inââ
âwhatâs so funny?â
you popped your head in from the kitchen, making yuta jump again and yuji double over laughing like before, you giving yuta an apologetic look.
âi wanna laugh!â you pouted. âwhat happened? whatâs funny?â
âyuta didnât like the joke i made.â yuji quipped.
âwell what was it? maybe i will!â you smiled sweetly.
âi saidââ
âdonât say it!â
yuji ducked as yuta threw a kids menu at him.
âyuta has a cruââ
âshut the fuck up!ââ
you covered your mouth with your hands in a little fit of giggles, the sound halting yuta mid throw to look at you with wide dreamy eyesâ not wanting to miss the way you laughed and the way your nose crinkled with every hiccup.
yuji snickered and he shot him a glare before standing and walking over to where you stood.
âyou donât wanna hear itâŠâ he mumbled shyly, fiddling with a buffet napkin. âit was freaking weird.â
you settled your giggles down and breathed, nodding cutely. âiâll take your word for it, yu.â
yu.
âeeehh?! look y/n! look at his face!ââ
âshut up!â
for the rest of the days and shifts that you spent together, yuta made it his mission to do things for you to hopefully earn him a sweet cheek kiss in return like last time, all while desperately trying to avoid yuji and his big ginormous annoying mouth actively corrupting some of his attempts on purpose.
yuta would try and bring you any kind of pastry he could give away to you without his manager knowing, or make you milkshakes randomly throughout your shifts or small BLTâs during lunch time to feed you, all for the purpose of watching the way youâd smile and hug him gratefully each time, and if he got lucky, a sweet kiss on the cheek.
âi donât get it.â yuji shook his head during one of your shifts, him shuffling through a movie magazine on his break. âwhy donât you just ask her for a kiss on the cheek? hm? iâd bet sheâd do it! ooo better yetââ he looked at him with sarcastic laced excitement. âask her out you little loser.â
yutaâs cheeks were hot as he listened, watching you from the kitchen take orders and scribble them down on a notepad.
âitâs been months yuta. months. i am in agony every day watching you follow her around like a lost puppy even though itâs the funniest thing iâve ever seen.â
yuta rolled his eyes, but sent him a small sad smile. âcanât do it.â
âwhy not?â he whined. âshe likes you too!â
âbecause sheâs out of my league.â yuta pursed his lips. âand no i donât think she likes me.â
âoh manââ yuji hunched over the sink, tossing his magazine to the side and gripping the rim in exhaustion. âshe kisses your cheeks and hugs you and literally took this job because of you! what more proof do you want?!â he grabbed his shoulders and shook him. âa straight up confession?! a straight up kiss?!â
yutaâs heart accelerated at the thought as he pictured yujiâs words clear in his mind.
would you ever kiss him?⊠would you ever like him back?
âmâmaybe?â
âwhat about school! do you guys not hang out or talk at school?â
âwe do!â yuta perked up, but his shoulders quickly slumped. âweâre in different circles though so itâs always just for a little bit or casually.â
yuji groaned loudly and smacked a hand over his forehead. âitâs useless. youâre on your own man i tried i tried so hard i canât help youââ
he continued to mutter under his breath as he picked up his backpack and walked out of the kitchen and out of the restaurant, the end of his shift drawing near as yuta laughed to himself over his words.
he appreciated how much yuji cared and how badly he wanted him to succeed, but even though his unrealistic expectations and hopes annoyed him most of the time as he blabbed on to him about them, yuta knew he was just a kid. so he valued it anyways.
âyu!â you spoke from behind the bar, him quickly rubbing his sweaty palms over his pants as he walked out of the kitchen to you.
âiâm so excited for tonight!â you smiled, your giddy little self practically bouncing off the walls in anticipation.
he laughed. âyouâre excited to clean?â
âyup yup! iâm excited to clean with you.â
with him.
yuta adored sundayâs because thatâs when you were both scheduled to close together on your ownâ just like the first time you did months ago, back when you werenât working there yet.
there were no cooks, no yuji, no manager, and no customers. just you and him as you blasted elvis singles on the jukebox and got a sugar high from the ice cream machine as you wiped down tables and dusted off shelvesâ one time you literally slipping on the checkered tile by the entrance because you forgot you had just mopped the floor, yuta practically jumping over the bar counter to see if you were okay and him absolutely sick and worried over nothing as he showered you with more pastries and sweets to help you feel better.
that sunday night he got a kiss on the cheek.
so as you both bid the last customers a good night and got right to work, yuta considered yujiâs dumb words.
maybe he should just ask?
âif elvis was still alive i would probably sell myself to go see him.â
he let out a shocked laugh. âsell yourself? like prostitution?â
âmhm!â you hummed, wiping down the bar counter. âthink about itâ his tickets would probably cost like three thousand dollars. where the hell am i gonna get three thousand dollars? iâm broke and in college.â
yuta shook his head, his lips in an amused grin. âanything for elvis.â
âexactly!â you leaned over the counter excitedly, yuta on the other side with pink cheeks and a fuzzy feeling in his heart. âyou get it. only you understand me.â
he laughed.
âi think itâd be cool if they brought him back as a hologram and did concerts that way.â yuta suggested.
you gasped incredulously as a hand flew to slap over your mouth. âyu! you little genius! oh my god i have to start pimping myself out nowââ
yuta laughed again and shook his head. âdonât do that. weâll find a way to get in.â
âwe?!â you propped yourself up on the counter with your elbows and cupped his hands in yours, him stiffening with wide eyes and wobbly nervous lips. âyou wanna go with me?â
âyâyeah.â he stammered. âofâ of courseâŠâ
you squealed and nodded quickly, seemingly accepting the hypothetical proposal.
but then you settled down a little. your eyelashes slowly fluttering as you stared at himâ a slow 50s love song statically murmuring through the jukebox adding to the atmosphere as you leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.
but this time it was different.
it wasnât quick and cutesy and one that yuta barely had time to bask over before you pranced away. it was slow, tender, and yuta could feel the way your soft lips touched his skin and left behind a burn as he let his eyes close at the blissful gentle feeling, him finally able to relish in the rarity of it before you slightly began pulling away, eyes twinkling.
ââŠdo you still think iâm pretty?â you whispered.
he swallowed thickly, your face so close he could feel your breath fanning across his lips.
âi do.â he whispered back, eyes locked on yours. âvery much so.â
you bit your bottom lip as you smiled, ever so slightly leaning closer and closer to him as your lips nearly brushed againstâ
riinnggg!
you quickly pulled away and ran to the back to answer the phone, leaving yuta sitting there swooning and nearly collapsing on the table, his hands cold from not being encased in your own soft hands anymore.
but most of all⊠leaving him confused. he didnât know why you were leaning in like that.
âiâm sorry weâre closed for the day!⊠uh huh⊠we open at eight am tomorrow ifââ
yuta could still feel the blaze your lips left behind on his cheek as you spoke on the phone, his hands coming up to rub his eyes as he tried to get his head back down from the clouds and simmer down the beating of his heart.
âsomeone wanted to come in right now!â you exclaimed, coming back over to your previous spot.
he furrowed his eyebrows. âright now? are you serious? itâsââ he spun around on the barstool and turned his head to the coca cola themed vintage clock on the wall. âitâs nearly twelve am?â
âi know!â you breathed out. âwe closed four hours ago.â
âfour?!ââ
it dawned on the both of you how long you had been inside the diner, fully convinced it wouldâve been longer if you hadnât noticed.
so as the two of you mutually agreed to finish up and gather your thingsâ the jukebox switched to an iconic elvis presley slow love song as you were just about halfway through the entrance double doors, eyes snapping to each otherâs.
âaw i love this oneâŠâ you spoke softly, a little whine seeping through.
a small close lipped smile spread across his face. âi love this one too.â
âdo you wannaââ you stopped.
his eyebrows pinched. âdo i wanna what?â
âdo you wanna⊠dance with meee?â you dragged out cutely, slightly bouncing on your toes.
âdance?â his eyes widened. âiâ i donât know howââ
âsâokay! iâll teach you!â
you quickly pulled his hand and dragged him out, opening one door and jamming a door stopper underneath it so the music of the jukebox leaked out of the diner and through the empty street.
the pavement was a little wet from the morning rain as you took his hand again and pulled him to the middle of the dead empty street, the bottom of your shoes tapping and splashing a little with each tiny puddle you stepped in.
elvis presleyâs voice softly hummed through the air, but it was loud and clear to the both of you as you gently took yutaâs hands and set them around your waist, his heart fucking palpitating and feeling like he was about to have a stroke when you wrung your arms over his neck and showed him that pretty smile he loved so much.
you both slowly stepped side to side, the air crispy and cold as your breathâs blew out foggy misty clouds due to the condensation, both of your noses and cheeks flushing red and buzzing warmly as you continued to slow danceâ yutaâs grip slowly tightening until he was practically hugging you flush against his body.
out of anything that could possibly happen to yuta in his life, he wanted to remember this moment specificallyâ with you, dancing in the middle of the street listening to the man that essentially brought you both together in the first place, your beautiful beautiful face looking at him like he was the most important thing in your life⊠yuta wanting so badly for that to come true as he basked in this little made up scenario in his head that you were already his.
âyuâŠâ you murmured.
he didnât trust his voice.
âhm?â
âwhy havenât you kissed me yet.â
what?
âkissed⊠you?â
âyeah..â you whispered, your bodies swaying. âdonât you like me?â
yuta let out a shaky breath. âiâ i mean yeah⊠who doesnât?â
your smile faltered. âiâm talking about you thoughâŠâ
âoh. well you know i do. iâm sure a lot of other guys would want to kiss you.â
the song drawled to a gradual close and the jukebox reset, you both no longer swaying but still holding on to each other.
your eyes drifted to the side. âother guys?â
he pursed his lips, not really liking the thought of you kissing guys, but answering your question anyways. âyeah⊠other guys.â
his emphasis on other guys and not on himself left a bad taste in your mouth.
your eyes narrowed in confusion as you looked up at him, yuta a little shocked at your sad expression.
did he say something wrong?
âi thoughtââ you shook your head softly. âi thought youâŠ?â
ââŠthought me what?â he cocked his head to the side, his genuine confusion solidifying his rejection in your eyes.
âiâ i thoughtââ
your hands slipped from his shoulders and you stepped back, yuta sadly complying and letting his arms open and fall beside him as you rapidly blinked back tears, his eyes slowly widening once he caught it.
âheyâ are you okay? whatâs wrong?â
yuta went and reached for you, you backing away in response as you shook your head and gave him a small smile, but it didnât reach your eyes at all.
âwhy are you crying? did i say something mean? iâm sorryââ
âno no iâm fine.â your voice was quiet and sad. âi think we should go home now.â
his shoulders deflated.
âare you sure? weâ we usually hang out until at least one in the morning on sundayâsâŠâ
you walked past him and towards the double doors of the diner, letting your tears slip in secret as you picked up your school bag and swung it over your shoulder, quickly wiping your cheeks before picking up his bag and giving it to him.
yuta thanked you and hoisted his backpack up on himself, ushering you gently to step to the side as he pulled the door stopper from beneath and placed it in its corresponding place by the entrance, letting the door close on its own before pulling out the keys from the pocket of his jacket and locking the diner up.
he did all of thisâ completely unaware to the way you were trying to quiet down your sniffles behind him.
you were so sure he liked you back⊠now you just felt a little stupid.
of courseâ the one genuine guy you came across that you actually liked out of all the others that youâve met, one that wasnât like the rest and was sweet and funny and caring and so so attentive of you⊠didnât like you back.
the one thing you truly truly wanted, you simply couldnât haveâ you walking ahead of yuta in silence through the parking lot with your arms crossed as you wondered if the way he treated you was literally just because thatâs how he was as a person.
a good person at that. way too good for this world, and way too good for you.
yuta didnât know why you were so quiet, his chest a bit achy at the absence of your usual cheerful voice.
when you reached your cars, you barely even bid him a proper goodbye like you always did before you got in your car and sped away, leaving a perplexed yuta standing alone in the parking lotâ eyebrows pinched together in clueless concern.
you were acting so weird, and you unfortunately continued to do so for the following week.
the next time you came into the diner (which was literally the next day), yuta was taken aback by how bloodshot and sunken your eyes were when you came in for your shift, not saying a single peep to yuji and him when you walked through the kitchen or through the bar counter like you usually did⊠and it was weird.
through the bustling of the busy restaurant, it was oddly quiet to the two boys, simply because you werenât your usual boastful self.
and you were hardly talking to yuta either⊠which pained him the most. you kept it strictly casualâ as if you werenât completely tied together every fucking day for almost a year now, you just completely casual about your day and about the things you had to do whenever he asked you, your one word dry responses sending him through the worst confusing and sadistic loop of his life.
but it wasnât casual at all. nothing about you was casual. so why were you acting like this? did you finally maybe open your eyes and realize yuta was a big fat nobody who didnât belong with a girl like you?
yuta nearly cried at the thought. perhaps you had finally realized that.
but how fucking cruel was it that he lived a year of love and beauty and everything that was just you, getting a taste of what it would be like to live a life where you thought of him as something really special and a life where you wanted to basically do everything with himâ only to be ripped away from him overnight? with no explanation?
by wednesday, yuta was dead inside.
you didnât seem to want to do anything with him anymore like before. you didnât excitedly jump and squeal and bounce on your little toes when it was time for the both of you to clean during your shift or restock the ice cream machine. you didnât talk to him about elvis anymore or about another ludicrous idea on how to resurrect him from the deadâ you didnât smile like you used to whenever he tried to give you a small pastry, actually rejecting it instead, and you didnât kiss his cheeks anymore.
by friday, yuji was fed the fuck up.
âwhat the fuck did you do?!â he whispered harshly at him from the bar, you somewhere in the diner taking orders. âthat woman is like a walking zombie. her eyes have been red like red since monday, and sheâs not yapping about elvis anymore.â
yuta leaned against the counter with a flat palm to his forehead in worry, feeling like he was gonna be fucking sick over you.
âiâ i donât know.â he stuttered. âi truly donât know i donât know what i said thatâs making her act like that.â
âokay run it back for me run it back.â he placed both hands on his shoulders and roughly pulled yuta to face him. âexplain to me again what happened on sunday.â
âwe were closingâŠâ
âuh huh?â
âshe wanted to slow dance in the street so we didâŠâ
âokay cute i love that part okay keep going..?â
âand then she asked why havenât i kissed herââ
âshe what?!â yuji choked, âyou didnât tell me this part! you fucking jumped to the parking lot!â
âmy badâŠâ yuta muttered.
âshitâ whatever keep going.â
âshe also said that she thought i liked her and i said who doesnât⊠and then i told her i was sure other guys would want to kiss her.â
âyou said other guys?â
yutaâs eyebrows pinched. âyeah?â
âyou. saidâŠâ yuji repeatedly slowly. âother. guys.â
âyes i didââ
âoh youâre done.â he rapidly shook his head. âi canât help you iâve done all i can youâre my buddy and i love you but i cannot take this anymoreââ
âwoah woah slow the fuck downââ he narrowed his eyes. âwhatâs so bad about what i said?â
âyou rejected her.â
âwhat? no i didnâtââ
âyes!â yuji nodded frantically. âyes you did you freaking dingus! yuta she wanted a kiss from you a kiss! she literally said âwhen are you going to kiss me!ââ
âi thought she was joking about that?â he answered softly.
âi might die early if you donât figure this out right now.â yuji spat. âwhen you said other guys, she took it as you saying youâre sure other guys would want to kiss her and not you! do you understand what iâm trying to say?!â
yuta stayed silent.
âyou said âiâm sure other guys would wanna kiss you,â which is you indirectly saying âiâm sure other guys would wanna kiss you but not me.â emphasis on othersââ
âholy fucking shit.â
why was yuji kind of smart?
âoh thank god!â yuji breathed out, throwing his hands up in the air before clasping them together and looking up at the ceiling, his eyes screwed shut as he shook his interlocked hands and prayed.
âthank you! thank you elvis presley for finally making him see what a dumbass heâs been this entire year especially this moment your music has never been betterââ
yuta shoved his fingers through his hair, his eyes bulging open. âholy fucking shit what the fuck did i do?!â
you walked past the bar just then and they both shot their arms down and tried to appear as nonchalant as humanly possible, you not even sparing them a glance as you walked over to the kitchen and disappeared from view.
âoh you have got to fix this.â
yuta spent the rest of the week trying to devise a plan to ease into the situation and have a conversation with you about it, but doing it fucking poorly as he miserably couldnât come up with anything and yuji having even worse ideasâ going as far as to suggesting he kidnaps you and takes you to elvis presleyâs home in graceland and apologize there, yuji calling it a âgrand gesture.â
by sunday, yuta was grasping at straws.
you slowly looked up from the bar as you saw a little sprinkled donut pastry slide across from the other side, your stinging eyes locking with yutaâs and feeling an immediate colossal pang through your chest when you saw him.
âyou umââ yuta sighed softly through his nose. âyou havenât had a donut from here in a whileâŠâ
âoh.â your eyes stayed glued to the pastry. âthank you but iâm alright. iâm not that hungry right now.â
yuta bit his tongue. âplease.â
he wasnât pleading for you to eat the damn donut, but he pathetically couldnât get the words out properly either.
âi donât want it iâm okay.â
âwhy not?â he pushed. âyou love donuts. you havenât accepted my milkshakes either and you love those too.â
âi got sick of them.â
yuta froze.
you sounded like a completely different person at the moment, and yuta knew that your words held an entirely different meaning to themâ his heart literally throwing up all over his insides in distress.
it was near closing time, the last pair of customers just about finishing up their meal as you both stared solemnly at the uneaten donut.
âare youââ yuta cleared his throat. âare you mad at me?â
the customers called you over then, and you quickly pushed yourself off from the edge and walked over as yuta heard your kind customer service voice from somewhere in the diner finalizing the bill for them, the bell above the door chiming as they leftâ you coming back around to stand back on the other side of the bar.
âsorry what didââ
âare you mad at me.â
you shook your head, eyebrows pinched. âno. why would i be mad?â
âare you upset with me?â
you hummed a no.
yuta wanted to rip his hair out at the fact that he couldnât fucking think of what to say to youâ not wanting to accidentally say something that could offend you like last time without him even knowing, as he didnât trust his mouth for shit.
âyou havenât looked okay since last sunday.â he murmured. âyou donât look happy around me anymore.â
you pulled your lips into a thin line and pressed hard, already feeling tears threatening to spill.
âitâs just school. itâs tough at the moment.â you mumbled.
âyouâre lying.â
you slightly snorted. âokay thanks.â
ânoâ fuck i did it again.â he screwed his eyes shut. âi know youâre upset with me and i know youâre mad at me. you donât talk to me as much, you donâtâ you donât take any of the sweets and drinks i give you when you always do, and you refuse to talk to me about elvis.â
âitâs school yuta i donât know what else to tell you.â
he groaned and pushed himself off the bar, swiftly making his way around the counter to stand right in front of you as your pretty red eyes widened, your body immediately fidgeting.
âplease⊠i miss you.â he mumbled, and your bottom lip started to wobble. âi miss when you wanted me around.â
âiâ i do want you around.â you said, so so softly he could barely hear you.
âthen please tell me what youâre feeling.â
you brought your hands up and pressed your fingers into your eyes, trying your absolute hardest to keep the tears inside as your body trembled.
âitâs all me itâs not you soâ so please donât worry about it itâs school andâ andââ
âi love you.â
you paused.
yuta shakily pried your fingers away from your eyes, holding them in his hands as silent tears escaped down your cheeks.
you shook your head. âno you donât. youâre just saying thatââ
âi love you.â
âstop it youâre being mean i donât need you to tell me you love me because you feel bad for meââ
you tried to tear your hands away but his grip only tightened as he shook his head and wrung you in, pressing your hands flat over his heart and holding them there as he leaned and pushed his lips to yours, the taste and feeling of you complete fucking paradise as he hoped that the weight of his lips were conveying how much he truly fucking loved you, how much he truly needed you in his life and how much he wanted you to treat him like he was something to you again.
he was tired of you carrying around the missing half of him, but not because he wanted you to give it back.
he wanted you to keep it. he wanted you to keep it forever and ever and not let it dangle over ineptly like youâd done for the past week. he wanted you to kiss it and shove it next to your heart and keep it there snug where it belonged until the day that he died.
the jukebox murmured another soft 50s tune, you slowly but surely letting your tense shoulders relax as you allowed your lips to move against his, your heart screaming and zooming through your bones at the fact that this man was kissing you like youâd wanted and dreamed for him to do so badly for the past year.
you both slowly pulled away with your lips quietly smacking apart, your stunning face finally looking at him the way you always did, the way you used to, even if it was a little timid still.
âare you lying?â you murmured.
his eyes softened as he gently shook his head.
âabsolutely not.â
âbut you rejected me.â
he sighed through his nose, his hands still pressing yours over his heart as you felt it beat rapidly under your palms.
âiâ i didnât mean to. i swear to god i didnât mean to.â he gently dropped his forehead against yours as he closed his eyes. âi was being stupid and worded everything wrong. butâ but iâm telling you now that i wanted to kiss you⊠so fucking bad. youâre too pretty for me so i honestly thought i just didnât stand a chanceâŠâ
you couldnât believe it.
âi donât want other guys to kiss you.â he continued. ânot at all⊠just me.â
âjust you?â you murmured, and he nodded against your forehead.
âjust me.â he propped his chin on the top of your head. âiâm sorry i hurt you and made you cry.â
âno yuâŠâ you spoke gently. âiâm sorry too. and iâm sorry i said i was sick of the sweets you give me⊠i was lying i love them.â
he chuckled softly.
âitâs okay⊠i know.â yuta gently caressed your fingers with his thumbs. âbut i love you pretty.â
âi love you.â you whispered, and you slid your hands up his chest and around his neck, pulling him down in a warm embrace as he copied and pulled your body to his so so tightly, your hearts beating in time with one another as he felt his fingertips go numb at your confession, kissing your soft little cheeks over and over and over again until he got giggles out of you.
yuta loved sundayâs⊠and so did you.
and when he asked you to be his girlfriend that same night while standing over the jukebox, staring at the elvis presley song selection like youâd done many times together before in the past, yuta for the first time realized that he hadnât felt alone since the moment you came into the diner with your mean friendsâ finding himself actually thanking them in his head for that, realizing that if they hadnât then you probably wouldâve left with them and he wouldâve never gotten the chance to speak to you that night.
the next time you both came into work, you back to your usual jumpy self as you took every pastry that yuta gave you again and babbled about elvis and how you were gonna spend your hypothetical prostitution money on a flight to memphis to see his grave and pay your respects, yuji was elated.
âwhat happened?! you have to tell me what happened come on you canât keep it from me iâm just a boyââ
you skipped into the kitchen then and smoothly walked in between them, pressing a gentle cute peck to yutaâs lips before grabbing what you needed from the back and walking back out, yujiâs mouth flinging open and his jaw hitting the fucking floor.
âhowâ whatâ whenâ whereââ
you stepped back in after a second and bounded over next to yuta, his eyes soft as he watched you lean your head on his shoulder.
âwhat?â you asked. âwhatâs wrong yuji?â
âoh god no!â he wailed, dramatically throwing an arm over his eyes in agony. âi thought this is what i wanted but itâs not! i want a kiss like that man!â
he flew to his knees in front of you and took your hand in his. ây/n why canât you just wait for me please?! wait five years youâre so pretty i wonât confuse you like this dingbat and iâll give you better sweets and milkshakes than him please!ââ
yuta took your hand and slapped yujiâs away. âyou freak stand up man the floor is dirtyââ
âi need a popular gorgeous girlfriend like you yuta! how could you do this?! i thought we were brothers?! what spell did you cast?! have you ever learned jujutsu?! what have i done!ââ
your manager popped his head into the kitchen and you all stiffened.
âyuji why are you crying? everyone outside can hear you, kid.â
yuji flew to his feet and shook his head. âmânot crying sir. everything is fine just fine and dandy sir.â
âokay⊠well can you check on your tables? leave yuta and y/n to work.â
âyes sir iâll check on them sir.â
your manager nodded, muttering something about todayâs generation as he left and went back inside his office, yuji walking out of the kitchen shortly after with his head down as you both tried your hardest to keep your laughter in, hands tightly clasped over your mouths and silently snickering to keep yuji from hearing it on the other side.
âpâpoor him.â you heaved, a hand over your chest. âi hopeâ i hope he finds his âpopular girlfriendâ when heâs older.â
âi wish her luck.â he muttered, and your hand slapped back over your mouth again as you burst into another fit of giggles alongside him.
yuta sheepishly outstretched his arms for you once you both settled down, you perking up excitedly with a cutesy little grin as you skipped into them, your arms wrapping snug around his torso as he brought his around your shoulders and squeezed, earning a tiny squeak from you that made him laugh.
he hoped to god he wasnât dreaming.
yuta started shifting his weight from one to the other, gently moving and swaying you side to side in the kitchen as you giggled and let him lead you like that.
âyou slow dancing yu?â you murmured softly, head coming up to give him a kiss on the cheek as he blushed.
âyeah..â he hummed. âi like it when we do.â
âi do too yu⊠itâs like our little thing! weâre so vintage.â
he snorted, and a charming beautiful smile spread across your faceâ one that made him wonder how he ever managed to land you when all he did was wait tables and stutter foolishly and wasnât anyone particularly special like you were.
but you. you were everything. everything and way fucking more as you looked at him like he built the diner himself brick by brick for reasons he still couldnât understand why.
yuta spoke after a moment.
ââŠwhat do you think of me?â he murmured suddenly, cheek mushing up against the side of your head as your brows furrowed.
âwhat do i think of you?â you asked, your perplexed face slowly shifting to one of realization as it dawned on you how yuta was reiterating your words to him from when you first met.
he grinned. âyeah.â
you pulled back to face him.
âi think youâre kind⊠you always have been even when i didnât deserve it.â
his jaw dropped. âwhat? didnât deserve it?ââ
âiâm not finished!â you pouted, and he playfully rolled his eyes as he shut his lips.
âyouâre too good to me yuâŠâ you sighed a little. âyouâre so helpful and selfless, and even when things piss you off you still take the time to appreciate them⊠like yuji.â
you both snickered then, and yuta brought his head down and nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck.
âi love the way you love, yuta. i love the way you love me and take care of me and always feed meâŠâ you giggled. âwithout me ever having to ask.â
you felt his arms tighten around you.
âdonât ever think that you arenât special to me or anyone or iâll kill you and go to graceland without you.â
he laughed loudly in your neck and pulled back, half lidded ditzy loving eyes staring back as he leaned in and kissed youâ gentle and delicate, his hands coming up to cup your warm cheeks.
âjesus man table nine would not stop asking me forâ oh god no!â
you and yuta jumped apart, yuji immediately wailing and crying again as he flung himself to the floor on his knees.
âreally?! in my kitchen?! in front of my face?! how cruel can you be yuta?! y/n can you maybe give me a kiââ
yuta leaned down and smacked him upside the head.
âowwwuhh! whatâs wrong with just one little kiss man?!ââ
âcut. it. out!ââ
and just like always, the week came and went, sunday fast approaching as the day eventually came to close the diner together like lovely clockworkâ wiping down tables and sweeping the floors, organizing the menuâs and restocking the crayons for the little kids, gulping down milkshakes with yuta like water as you workedâŠ
but most importantlyâ sharing long kisses in between each sweeping rotation, kissing and pinching his cheeks repeatedly whenever he asked or did literally anything, and slow dancing to the same 50s love song that played when you first tried to kiss him at the bar that one night, swaying together in a silly way and giggling whenever youâd both nearly topple over to the floorâ yuta beaming and lovesick as he looked down at your gorgeous smile and your gorgeous face⊠it gleaming with so much purpose, so much pure love and importance and value for him as you dancedâ
that yuta decided he wanted you to keep the other remaining half of him too.
forever.
this! is the song that was playing when reader was about to give yuta a kissy kissy on the bar counter, and again at the end if youâre curious :3 it was playing when i wrote it and it literally fit so well and lifted my entire body and spirit and i felt like i was THERE MAN! <333
taglist!! <33 (THANK YOU THANK YOU!):
@cupcaketeddybehr @soobiary @roachfun @waterfal-ling @saebaey @reneinii @luvvmae @cake-with-the-cream @pixie-dix @2ukika @cramelmacchiao @hy3phiren @fushigurioo @wil10wthetree @jameinfrau @pancakeszs
(HATE when tumblr doesnât let me tag some of yall i donât know why it does that!!)
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#yuta okkotsu#gojo satoru#jjk fanfic#jjk x you#geto suguru#geto suguru x reader#gojo satoru x reader#jjk fluff#yuta okkotsu x reader#jujutsu yuta#jjk yuta#yuta x reader#yuta okkotsu x you#jjk yuuta#jjk megumi#jjk x reader#jjk geto#jjk gojo#megumi fushiguro#yuji itadori#nanami kento x reader#choso kamo#choso x reader#jujutsu megumi#jujutsu kaisen megumi#jujutsu gojo#gojo x you#gojo fluff
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Strikes and Spares (18+)
pairing: bad boy!yunho x fem!reader
word count: 4.3k
content warnings: SMUT 18+, MINORS DNI, fluff, oral (fem receiving), yunho is whipped for reader
summary: you were minding your own business when your small town's bad boy came up and just declared he was picking you up for a date
Yunho was standing by his locker when you walked into school that morning. He watched as you opened your locker which was close to his own and took out your books. The look on his face wasnât his usual scowl of annoyance that everybody in school knows and fears. Instead his eyes softened when he saw you and he could feel the tips of his ears turn red.
San was watching him and knew immediately who showed up by Yunhoâs reaction. It had been like this since freshman year. He had to suppress a snicker at Yunhoâs lovesick expression. He had always found it hilarious. The schoolâs bad boy who regularly got into fights, skipped class (except the ones he had with you, of course) and had gotten his first tattoo with 16 was hopelessly in love with a sweet innocent nerd. The best part? You had no clue.
Yunho was snapped out of his thoughts when San nudged his shoulder
âWhen are you going to stop staring at Y/N and simply talk to her?â San asked him.
Yunho rolled his eyes, âI donât know what youâre talking about.â
âOh, I donât know. Maybe the fact that youâve been staring at her like a hopeless fool since freshman year and now itâs our senior year and you have not once asked her out,â San chuckled.
âShut up,â Yunho grumbled and slammed his locker shut. He knew San was right. But you were⊠intimidating. He realized how that sounded coming from him but it wasnât just how pretty you were and how you didnât seem to be scared of him, it was also just something about you. He knew everyone saw you as a sweet and innocent good girl because you got good grades and liked to dress in feminine clothes but he saw how you suppressed your smile when someone made a dirty or dark joke, he saw the kind of books you read when you thought no one would notice, he saw what music you listened to. And then there was the fact that you always smiled at him despite his reputation because you were so fucking polite. And what does he do? He chokes. Every time. Like a goddamn loser.
He watched as you closed your locker and prepared to go to class. Fuck it. Itâs now or never.
Yunho walked over to you which surprised San who thought Yunho was going to creepily stare at you like he always does.
He reached you just when you started walking. âHey.â
Great going, Yunho. That was the most lame greeting ever, he thought to himself.
You were just about to go to your first class when you heard someone talking to you. You looked up and saw Yunho standing in front of you. You had to look up quite a bit because of the height difference.
âHeyâ, you greeted him back and wondered why he was talking to you. You didnât think he even knew you existed.
He put his hands in his pocket, trying to seem relaxed. âWhat class do you have next?â he asked you. His tone was softer than his usual tone and he could feel the curious stares from the other students around you. Along with the usual downcast looks in case he snapped at them.
âI have English next,â you grab your bag, ready to walk to class.
He grabs your bag from you and puts it over his shoulder. âIâll walk you,â he just states and starts walking with you to your class, ignoring your confused look and the hushed whispers around you as to why he was being nice to you.
You hurried along after him as he just started walking. You were incredibly confused why he suddenly talked to you and was now carrying your bag for you while walking you to class. You knew who Yunho was. He and his friends were the schoolâs bad boys which frankly you thought was a clichĂ© title. But then again you lived in a smaller town and he does get into fights. It was maybe also the fact that he wore all black and always glared at people. Again, small town stuff. You honestly didnât mind much. You had always found him attractive but you didnât think he even knew your name. Both of you had different circles. He was always with his friends, smoking and you had even heard of them vandalizing stuff. Meanwhile you stuck to your two friends you had since freshman year, liked to stay inside and read and got good grades. The likelihood of him knowing you was small. So you thought.
He walked alongside you in the hallway and you noticed people moving out of your way while giving you curious stares. Great. You hated it when people stared at you.
You reached your classroom and he quickly moved to hold the door open for you. You gave him a confused look and walked into the classroom. Yunho put your bag down at your desk and you were so confused by his behavior you didnât even question how he knew where you sat as he wasnât in this class.
He turned to you and smiled. âIâll pick you up at 7,â he states and walks off.
You nod before realizing what he said.
âWait- what? For what? Yunho!â you called after him but he just waved and walked to his own classroom. You sat down at your desk, still confused what exactly just happened. You decided to brush it off and simply focus on class.
Meanwhile, Yunho was freaking out internally. He just did that. He finally had the courage to make a move on you, the girl heâs been crushing on since the first day of freshman year. He sat down in his own class, his heart still nearly beating out of his chest. San who sat beside him gave him a questioning look but Yunho simply gave him a grin.
During the day you started to forget about what Yunho said that morning, brushing it off as a joke. He had not talked to you after and you were sure he didnât even know where you lived. You simply went home and changed out of your skirt into a pair of jeans to take your dog on a walk.
While you walked you passed your elderly neighbor.
âOh Y/N dear, how are you, sweet girl? Such a sweet girl as always, taking your dog on a walk. And I heard you got a good grade on that exam. Your mother must be so proud,â she chirped.
You smiled at her, internally wishing you could just keep walking. It wasnât that she was unpleasant but she, like everybody else, assumed that because you did well in school you were sweet and innocent. Sure, you were polite and you liked to study. But innocent is not a word you would use to describe yourself except for the fact that your real life sexual experience was limited. The only people who knew what kind of books you read were your two friends and they regularly blushed when you gave them a recap of a book you recently read. You also liked alternative things and clothes but you were too shy to actually wear it. Nevermind the fact that alternative clothes can be expensive. So you stuck to your skirts and dresses, which you also liked but you were dying to experiment more. Truthfully, you were scared to do so. You knew how people talked in a small town and you just wanted to get this senior year over with before you went to college.
When you got back home you had completely forgotten about Yunho and his comment so you went up to your room and did your homework while listening to some true crime podcast.
At 6:50pm, Yunho parked his car outside your house. He knew he was early but he was nervous. He had this whole date planned out and he didnât want to fuck it up by being late. He walked up to your porch and rang your doorbell. While he waited, he smoothed down one of his nicer black shirts and ran a hand through his hair.
You opened the door and gave him a confused look. âYunho? What are you doing here? And how do you know where I live?â you asked him.
âI told you Iâd pick you up at 7. Are you ready to go?â he chuckled at your expression, ignoring the other question. So maybe he had followed you one or five times. Sue him.
âYou were serious?â you asked him incredulously. You noticed he was dressed casual in black jeans and a black shirt but you could tell it was one of his nicer ones as this one didnât have any car grease stains on it. Not that you knew what his shirts looked like.
âOf course I was serious. Why wouldnât I be?â he grinned at you and took in your appearance. He loved seeing you in your casual jeans and sweater. The sweater paws you had nearly undid him.
âI didnât think you even knew where I lived. And Iâm not dressed for going out,â you looked down at your jeans.
He chuckled and waved you off, ânonsense, youâre dressed perfectly. Come on.â
Still confused, you put on shoes and grabbed your purse. He opened his passenger door for you and waited until you were buckled up before getting into the driverâs seat. He looked over at you while he started his car and the sight of you finally sitting in his car on the way to a date with him made him as giddy as it made him nervous.
While he drove his hand itched to reach over and grab your thigh but he had to remind himself that this is a first date.
âWhere exactly are we going?â you questioned as you looked over at him, trying not to look at his veiny hand gripping the steering wheel. Â
He just grinned at you, âItâs a surprise.â
You huffed slightly but let him continue. You werenât the biggest fan of surprises, you liked being prepared for things but you were trying to let loose a bit.
Yunho parked the car and as you looked outside you could see the neon sign of the local bowling alley. Before you could even unbuckle your seatbelt, Yunho was out of the car and opened your door for you, holding his hand out for you.
You put your hand in his and Yunhoâs skin tingles from the skin contact. He doesnât let go of your hand as you walk inside, going to the front desk to pick out your shoes. You told the clerk your shoe size and after getting your shoes Yunho led you to a bowling lane, putting his hand on your lower back.
âHave you ever been bowling before?â he asked while he put your names into the computer.
âUh.. like once or twice?â you replied while tying your shoes.
âThatâs okay, I can teach you,â Yunho smiled at you and you were once again taken off guard by how sweet he was being.
He gave you a bowling ball, one he knew would be too heavy for you. He chuckled when he saw your arms buckle under the weight.
âLooks like I have to help you,â he teased you and came up behind you, his chest nearly pressing into your back while he helped you hold the ball. You stood in front of the lane, feeling his body heat as he towered over you from behind.
He leaned in to speak softly into your ear, âFocus on the pins and try to throw the ball as close to the middle as you can. Donât worry about the speed for now.â
You tried to focus on what he was saying, you really did, but his low voice in your ear, his hands helping you hold the ball and the scent of his cologne made you a bit dizzy.
Yunho himself was not faring any better. He was using this as an excuse to touch you but he had not anticipated that it would feel so overwhelming to finally have you this close. He could smell your perfume and the realization that you were so much smaller than him sent his thoughts into a spiral.
Together you threw the ball and six out of the nine pins fell down. The fluttering in your stomach got stronger as you felt Yunho peck your cheek, chaste kiss on your now burning skin.
âVery good. Now you can throw again.â
He let you go for only a moment before he came back with another ball and put it in your hands. His hands didnât let go of yours as he stepped closer to your back again and walked forwards with you. He leaned down to your ear and whispered instructions to you, which fell on deaf ears, his warm breath hitting your ear and neck nearly making you drop the ball. You managed to compose yourself long enough to throw the ball again with his help.
Two out of the remaining pins fell down and you felt your feet leave the ground as Yunho picked you up and spun you around, a soft giggle leaving your lips.
He reluctantly put you back down and you turned to face him, your flushed cheeks tugging at his heart.
Fuck, he was so whipped for you.
He could hear Sanâs laughter in his mind as the thought this.
His hands shifted from around your waist to your hips as he looked down at you.
âSeems like youâll lose, Jeong,â you couldnât help but tease him.
âAwfully cocky for a beginner, princess,â he smirked down at you. âYou sure you wanna test that?â
âWell, youâd have to let me go to actually do your turn,â you quip.
He raised a brow at you and chuckled, âYou think I canât do that with you in my arms? Watch and learn, princess. Iâll show you how itâs done.â
He wrapped one arm around your waist, pressing you to his chest and dragged you along with him while he picked up a bowling ball and then walked forward to throw. Your arms wrapped around his waist so that you wouldnât fall, your feet dragging over the floor.
âHold tight, tiny,â he chuckled and leaned forward to throw the ball, tilting you back. All pins fell down and he laughed as he tilted you upright again. He smiled as he brushed a strand of your hair behind your ear, his eyes flickering down to your lips for a second before going back to your eyes. The urge to kiss was almost too strong to resist but he knew he had to. He wanted to do this right and not rush it. But fuck, you were making it hard with your eyes staring up at him, your body still pressed to his, the lipgloss on your lips looking so sweet.
He took a step back, his hands shifting to your hips again. The thumping in your chest took a moment to calm down as you both continued the game, with Yunho winning, of course.
After you both finished your drinks and put your own shoes back on, he grabbed your hand in his and walked with you to the front desk to return the shoes. He couldnât deny that he felt pride being seen with you, holding your hand in public. He had thought of this since freshman year, watching you from afar, always wondering if youâd ever go for someone like him. Now, three years later he was finally on a date with you and, not to toot his own horn, but it was going quite well.
He lead you outside and you both slowly walked to his car. Once you reached it, he used his grip on your hand to turn you to him. You looked up at him, unsure of what to do now. You hadnât been on many dates but you really did want him to kiss you. Your tongue swept over your lips for a second, his eyes following the movement.
âFuck, I canâtâŠâ he muttered and you didnât have any time to figure out what he meant by that when you felt his hand cup your cheek. He leaned down and kissed you. Softly at first, relishing in the soft gasp you let out. His lips moved over yours, his hand caressing your cheek. You gripped his shirt, needing to hold onto something so you wouldnât do something embarrassing like stumble or squeak. His tongue swiped over your lips, asking for entrance.
He was right. Your lipgloss is the sweetest thing he ever tasted. At least until you opened your mouth and his tongue dove into your mouth. He grunted and pushed you against the side of his car, the hand that was on your cheek going up to tangle in your hair.
One of your hands moved up to his shoulder, holding onto him as you felt his tongue move against yours. You could still taste the soda on him that he had earlier and, shit, it was the best thing you ever tasted and you didnât want this kiss to end.
He used the grip on your hair to tug your head back, biting slightly at your lip. The moan you let out reverberated in his head and he desperately wanted to hear more. He thanked heaven, hell and whatever the fuck was in between that the parking lot was deserted because there was no way he could hold back the growl that left him as he felt your hand on his nape, pulling him closer.
He broke the kiss, slightly breathless, his eyes dark as he took in your flushed cheeks and swollen lips. That godforsaken lipgloss smeared.
âYou know what this means, right? Youâre my girl now,â he declared, his voice rough with barely held back desire.
You couldnât deny that your thighs clenched at his words but you still said âNo.â
His grip on your hair tightened.
âNo?â he challenged.
âAsk me.â
You could tell he didnât expect that. He looked genuinely confused at your statement.
âYou declared you were picking me up for a date and I didnât mind. But you need to ask me to be your girlfriend,â you tried to keep your voice steady. You actually didnât mind his assertiveness but you still wanted to make him work for it.
You could see the shift in his eyes and how smile got a little bit darker, sending a shiver down your spine.
âWill you be my girlfriend, tiny?â he asked you, pressing closer to you.
âYes,â you swallowed, this time not being able to keep your voice from breaking.
âGood girl.â
His lips crashed to yours again, pulling your hair and swallowing your moan. He pulled back before he could get carried away but your whine had him twitching in his jeans.
âI donât wanna screw this up,â he admitted.
âYunho,â you whispered.
âWe donât have to but, fuck, baby⊠can I taste you?â he asked and he was ready to beg if thatâs what it took. Your small nod was all he needed to open the door to the backseat of his car and push you inside. He climbed over you, pulling the door closed.
His lips found yours again, your fingers tangling in his hair. His self-control was hanging by a thread at this point, finally having you under him, being able to call you his.
âYou donât know how long Iâve been wanting this, wanting youâŠâ he mumbled against your lips.
A small whimper escaped your lips and you pushed his leather jacket off his shoulders, running your hands along his shoulder blades. You felt him grab one of your thighs and wrap it around his waist. The bulge pressing against you felt bigger than you expected and had you clenching around nothing.
Could you� No, fuck⊠not on the first date.
Yunhoâs fingers slipped under your sweater, barely grazing your stomach. He felt your muscles twitch under his touch, making him chuckle against your lips. In one swift move he pulled your sweater up over your head and discarded it onto the floor of his car. His eyes found your breasts, covered by a black bra with a little bow in the middle. A little present just for him.
His focus shifted back to your face as he felt you grab at his arms. He leaned back down and began trailing kisses from your cheek to your jaw, all the way down to your neck. Your pulse was racing, matching his own. He felt like he could drown in the scent of your perfume if you let him. His teeth sank into the skin on your neck, where he made sure to leave a hickey. He wanted people to know the girl everyone believes to be so pure belonged to him, the guy who regularly got into fights.
âYunho,â you whined into his shoulder.
âI know, princess,â he grunted into your ear. His fingers found the button of your jeans, slightly trembling with anticipation. Once he had opened your jeans, he looked up at you with a questioning look. You bit your lip and nodded.
âUse your words, tiny,â he demanded.
âYes,â you whispered.
âLouder.â
âYes, Yunho,â you whined.
He smirked at the neediness in your voice and began to pull your jeans down your legs. He threw them to the front seat of his car, his hands grabbing the underside of your thighs and spreading your legs to make room for his shoulders.
You felt slightly embarrassed that your panties did not match your bra but he didnât seem to care in the slightest.
âTake your bra off for me,â he commanded, looking up at you from between your thighs and you couldnât help but obey him.
His lips parted as your boobs were revealed to him. He leaned up, his mouth finding your nipple and gave it a flick with his tongue. You arched up into his mouth, your fingers tightening in his hair.
He growled and his hands fisting the waistband of your panties until you heard the rip of fabric. You looked down and saw him pocket the ruined panties, now completely bare before him. He shifted himself back down between your legs, both thrown over his shoulders.
âYouâre so fucking wet for me,â his voice was dark and heavy with desire. He ran a finger up your slit to your clit, a light teasing touch. He let out a moan and dove down to lick a stripe between your folds, closing his eyes at the taste. There was no way he could ever stop, no way he could ever let you go now. One of his hands held down your hips as you twitched underneath his ministrations.
One hand grabbed at his hair while the other flew up to hold onto the door of his car. You tried to keep your moans down but the feel of his tongue dipping into you made it impossible. Your thighs tightened around his head but it didnât stop him, if anything it made him more eager to have you fall apart on his tongue. You looked down and saw his eyes looking up at you, watching your every reaction. He sucked at your clit and you pulled at his hair, making him moan into you, the vibrations of his voice making everything feel more intense. It had been a while since someone touched you and it was never this good so you could already tell you werenât going to last long.
Yunho trailed one hand up to your breast, a finger rubbing softly over your nipple while his tongue alternated between flicking your clit and lapping at your entrance. Every whine and moan fueled his desire for you, wanting to record them so he could listen to them whenever he wanted. He could tell you were close when your thighs shook around his head. He focused his tongue on your clit and pressed a hand down on your stomach.
The pressure on your stomach and the relentless stimulation of your clit and nipple had you coming in seconds. Your fingers pulled at his hair while you moaned his name. Your thighs crushed his head but he didnât let up. As overstimulation set in, your other hand also flew to his hair and you tried to push him away while you whined.
âToo much, please, Yunho, pleaseâŠâ you whimpered, words barely coherent.
He took pity and pulled his mouth off, licking his lips. His face shone with your juices and despite basically grinding on his face a minute ago you blushed.
He chuckled softly as he saw your flustered expression and slowly crawled up to your face, giving you a soft kiss on your lips. You could taste yourself on him and it made your stomach flutter in need again. He pulled away and you tried to catch your breath.
âAre you okay?â he murmured softly while brushing your hair away from your face.
âMhm,â you hummed, not trusting yourself to speak just yet. He continued running his fingers through your hair, covering your body with his to keep you from getting cold. He helped you put your bra and sweater back on when you stopped him.
âWait, what about you?â you questioned, looking up at him.
âYou think Iâm gonna taste the girl of my dreams and not cum in my pants?â he replied, his voice rough. He saw your eyes drop down to the front of his jeans, your cheeks burning red.
âSo donât worry about me, tiny. I wanted to make you feel good,â he reassured you.
He helped you put your jeans back on, minus your panties that he ripped and stole. Once you had buttoned your jeans, you grabbed his nape and pulled him down to kiss him. He let out a surprised moan and pulled you closer. His lips left yours reluctantly.
âLetâs get you home before your mom kills me,â he chuckled.
#ateez#ateez hard thoughts#ateez smut#ateez hard hours#yunho hard hours#yunho#yunho smut#jeong yunho x reader#yunho x reader#yunho hard thoughts#jeong yunho smut#ateez scenarios#ateez fanfic#ateez x reader#ateez fic#jeong yunho
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á„«áĄ. THATâS MY SISTER YOU BITCH
Summary: Despite Sarah and Rafeâs volatile relationship, thatâs your sister.
Warnings: Violence, illusions to sex, swearing.
You had a great day so far. You'd woken up to Rafe in between your legs, waking you up in the best way possible before he made you both breakfast as you watched him from the island. Sometimes you just liked to ponder on how lucky you were to have a boyfriend like Rafe. To everyone else, you were far from lucky but you liked it that way- knowing only you got the real Rafe Cameron.
Now, you were on your way back from grocery shopping, planning to make Rafe a romantic meal when he arrived back from work. Blasting music from your car speakers, you were completely in the zone. Until you drove up to the City Hall, glancing ahead you saw Kelce's red truck, which you thought nothing of until you saw him and his idiotic friends surrounding John B and Sarah.
Alarmed, you pulled up next to the truck, gathering the attention of everyone. Despite being a kook yourself, you were far different from the rest of them. You didn't care about pogues, to you they were like anyone else, in fact often you preferred the pogues in the Outer Banks to the kooks. Rafe's circle exclusively consisted of kooks, meaning you often received a lot of respect from kooks even though you spent a lot of your time arguing with them. Rafe didn't mind it, you were his girlfriend and lover, so if you wanted to yell he wouldn't stop you.
"Problem?" You asked, slamming your car door shut behind you. Just as Sarah hit the ground. Immediately you rushed towards Sarah. Yeah, Rafe and Sarah had problems they needed to get past but to you, Sarah was still as important as she was 2 years ago. You were proud of her for finding her true love and true friends, and you always let her know that you would always be there for her. And this time was no exception. Putting two and two together, you saw Ruthie standing much closer to Sarah than the other kooks who looked at her in shock.
They all stood stunned at your arrival, to be honest, you were probably the worst possible person to show up at that exact moment. Everyone knew your opinions on the Pogues were far more empathetic than the other kooks. "No, no problem" Kelce muttered, beginning to pull Ruthie and the others back from Sarah and John B, to which they happily obliged. Not on your watch.
"Oh no, don't stop on my accord guys. Please whatever you were going to do next. Do it." Walking over to them, Ruthie stood stunned at your arrival. Since she started dating Topper, you got a lot of joy out of berating her, publically. For once, she didn't back down at your words. "She needs to watch herself. She pushed me first, it was self-defence." Ruthie said, glancing behind you to see John B pulling Sarah to her feet.
Snorting you replied, "Ruthie, I'm not Shoupe. Don't start pleading your case, I don't care." She stalled at your response, for a moment thinking that you were on her side for pushing Sarah before you pulled her back to reality. Walking closer to her, edgingly slow, you pressed, "You think you're all big and mighty for pushing Sarah? She's 19 Ruthie, you're what? 21? Don't you think you should play with someone your own size?"
Behind you, John B and Sarah smirked at the group. Unbeknownst to you, Sarah was pregnant and John B was far too occupied to make sure Sarah was okay than to pick a fight with Kelce and his goons today. But you happily would, and even better so because who was going to fight back against the kook princess? Definitely not these ones.
âWell?â You pushed, as you stood toe to toe with Ruthie. You were growing impatient, Rafe would have finished work by now meaning that soon heâd come looking for you- and youâd rather give Ruthie a good couple punches before Rafe showed up.
âOkay times up.â Before she could even think, your fist sent her backwards onto the floor, just how Sarah had been when when you arrived. Groaning, she lifted her hands to cover her nose, assumably bleeding- hopefully broken if Rafeâs self defence lessons had done some good. âOh my god- I think you broke my nose. You bitch.â She shrieked, pulling her hands away to reveal blood beginning to pour from her nose.
Ruthie was nothing but a bully, a bully youâd had enough of tormenting the island. Your legs either side of her chest you crouched over her, âDonât worry you still look just as bad as before.â You muttered as you flew your fist back into her face that she left unguarded. Idiot. Her screaming began again, as you moved off from her, deciding that your two punches had done enough damage. Wow, youâd really have to thank Rafe for those lessons.
âJust wait until Topper hears about this, he will deal with you.â One of the other kooks muttered from behind Kelce. âYeah Iâm sure Topper will be sure to deal with me.â You laughed, Topper wouldnât touch a hair on your arm as long as you were dating Rafe- everyone knew that.
âYou want to fuck with someone, not Sarah.â You spat at them, watching Ruthie sadly pull herself to her feet, with the help of no one. âThatâs my sister you bitch. Now fuck off.â At your command, Kelce briskly walked back over to his truck, as the others followed just as fast, allowing you to turn back to John B and Sarah.
You were greeted to their smiling faces, both as grateful as each other. But you noticed, a twinge of emotion still lingering on Sarahâs face. Hearing you call her your sister in combination with her pregnancy hormones, was due to set her off to cry. Before she could get out any words, you spoke for her. âYou are my sister regardless of whatever is going on between you and Rafe. Youâre family.â Turning to John B, you continued, âThat extends to you, hubby.â You winked looking down at the ring on his finger.
With a red blush covering their faces, they praised you in thank yous. âDonât need to thank me for doing something Iâve been wanting to do for months.â Glancing back to see the red truck had disappeared.
âNow, you can thank me for warning you that Rafe will be here any minute and Iâm not sure you want to see him.â
âââââââââ
âBaby, please be more careful next time.â Rafe muttered, as he wrapped your knuckles in bandages. He was more than shocked to find you outside the city hall- alone- but with bloody knuckles. Only with the explanation, that you had an altercation with Ruthie, surprisingly over Sarah. He was confused to say the least, he wasnât even aware that Ruthie had a problem with his little sister. But the more he thought about it, of course she did- Topper still hadnât gotten over her.
âIn fact, there will be no next time. Ever.â Kissing your knuckles, he pulled you onto his chest as he lied back on your shared king bed. Stroking your hair, he let his mind wonder. Should he have been there to protect Sarah? But they hadnât had a good relationship in years, he couldnât just suddenly start caring for her. He also couldnât let you get into situations that could get you hurt over protecting Sarah.
You noticed his body still and you knew instantly his mind was wondering thinking about Sarah. Without moving your head from his chest you spoke, âRafe. I love Sarah. I know you have a difficult relationship at the moment and whilst you canât protect her I will.â Letting the silence sit between you for a moment, you decided to continue.
âSheâs our only family, Rafe.â He didnât move, but you both knew how right you were. She was all you had left. âI know baby, I know.â He whispered, laying a kiss on the top of your head, before he let his mind slip back into imagining how he can rectify this broken relationship with his sister.
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#outerbanks rafe#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#rafe x reader#rafe imagine#outer banks#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe fanfiction#rafe x you#rafe cameron x female reader
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The Weight of Choices
Pairing: Ex-husband!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Warnings: 18+ only. Smut. Unprotected sex, dirty talk. A little angst.
Summary: Torn between his instinct to protect his family and his desire to be a part of their lives, Bucky tries to deal with the reality of his ex-wife going on a date while he stays home caring for their son.
Word Count: About 8.9k.
He was late. If Y/n didnât know better, sheâd think he was doing it on purpose. Bucky had agreed to watch their son tonight so she could go on a date, the third one since their divorce two years ago. The last couple of times, sheâd managed to find a friend to babysit, but Saturday nights were always tough. So in the end, she had no choice but to come clean and ask Bucky.
She could still hear his voice from that awkward phone call, his tone edged with surprise when sheâd told him she had plans.
âA date?â he repeated, the edge of disbelief was hard to miss.
"Yeah," sheâd replied casually, but Buckyâs silence lingered longer than usual. He hated texting, so phone calls had become their norm, even for the smallest of things.
âWith who?â His attempt to sound nonchalant fell flat, the tension was evident, threading through every word.
âChris,â she said, keeping her tone light, âYou know, the music teacher at the kindergarten where I work? Blonde, easy smile... we walked past him once when he was out with his dog, Dodger.â
Bucky scoffed, the bitterness in his voice was unmistakable. âI knew it. I knew he had a thing for you.â
She rolled her eyes, exasperated. âOh, please.â
âEvery time Iâd drop by the kindergarten, heâd just⊠linger. His eyes followed you the whole time like he couldnât look away. People donât stare like that unless theyâre thinking something. And the way heâd smile, all soft and attentive, he was trying too hard to be just a âfriendly co-worker.â His voice had dropped a notch, as his irritation crept in.
âAre you serious?â she shot back, incredulous. But Bucky wasnât done.
âHow longâs this been going on?â The question came out more like an accusation.
âItâs our first date. You know I only recently started dating again,â she replied, her patience wearing thin.
He paused, clearly unsatisfied. âSo what, heâs just been waiting for his chance, ready to pounce-â
âIâm going to stop you right there, James,â she interrupted firmly. âYouâre not entitled to know anything about my love life the moment you decided you wanted the divorce.â
There was an uncomfortable silence on the line. She could hear him breathing, and the tension stretched between them, until finally, he sighed.
âYouâre right,â he admitted. âIâm sorry, that was out of line. Iâll take care of Benjamin on Saturday night.â
The recall of the conversation was interrupted by Ben, who wanted to show her what he did with his Legos.
Bucky had been sitting in front of the house for half an hour now. Sometimes, like tonight, he regretted what heâd done, but deep down, he knew it had been necessary. After the terrifying incident when Hydra agents attempted to kidnap their son, hoping to test if any of the serumâs powers had been passed down genetically, he realized that his past would eventually catch up with them. He had to make sure they were safe, even if it meant tearing apart everything theyâd built.
He knew she wouldnât understand if he told her the truth. If he had laid out his fears and his guilt and spiraled into a self-deprecating parade like he always did, she would have fought him and convinced him to stay. So he waited.
He knew the only way to make her believe it, was to weave in just enough truth to his argument, so, slowly he began pulling away, setting the stage for what would be his ultimate break. Late nights, distant conversations, an almost non-existent sexual life and missed moments with their son, all led to this. He needed her to see that the life they had wasnât something he could carry anymore.
When the moment came, he didnât hesitate. He told her he felt suffocated by their life together. That the roles of husband and father were more than he could bear after everything he had been through. She didnât believe him at first, and he could see the determination in her eyes, the will to fight for what they had.
So, he played the card he knew would make her stop fighting him. He spoke of the years heâd spent as a puppet, how he had never truly known freedom, never had control over his life. He appreciated everything she had done for him, all the love and support she had given, but it wasnât enough. He needed air, space to figure out who he was beyond the roles he had been forced into. He made it sound like staying with her, staying in the family theyâd built, was just another form of captivity.
It crushed her. Bucky could see the moment her resistance faded. She believed him, not because she wanted to, but because he made it seem so real. So she stood there, heartbroken, but unable to argue against the logic heâd presented.
The first months after the divorce were hard on both parts. For her, that time was the hardest, filled with sleepless nights and the nagging feeling that Bucky had simply abandoned her, walked away from their life, their love, without a second thought. She wrestled with the confusion and the heartbreak, trying to piece together where things had gone wrong. For Bucky, it was a different kind of suffering. He bore the weight of his decision in silence, knowing he had walked away to protect them, but that didnât ease the sting of loneliness or the guilt that clawed at him.
Their lives moved on separately. They saw each other only in passing, and even that was rare. Bucky would pick up Benjamin directly from daycare once a week, dropping him off the next morning before heading back to his life, careful to avoid lingering long enough for awkward conversations. Sometimes he didnât make it at all, missing his time with his son when missions pulled him away. Immersing himself in his work was easier than facing what he had left behind, the family he still wanted but couldnât allow himself to have. Meanwhile, she did her best to create some normalcy for Benjamin, even as the space Bucky left behind echoed through their small home.
Even though their lives had drifted apart, Bucky never truly let go. He kept his distance, but never far enough to lose sight of them. Unbeknownst to her, he knew everything that went on in the household, the daily rhythms of their life, the way she struggled and adapted to her new normal without him. From the shadows, Bucky lurked unnoticed in the neighborhood, always keeping an eye on them. She never noticed, never had a clue that even when he was away on missions, he somehow knew when Benjamin caught a cold or when she had a rough day at work.
It was a secret vigil that gave him a twisted sense of comfort, knowing they were safe even if they no longer shared the same home. He would catch fleeting glimpses of her tucking their son into bed or hear his faint laughter playing in the yard. It was enough to remind him of what heâd lost, but not enough to bring him back to the life he believed he couldnât have.
That was why Bucky was caught off guard when she mentioned her date with that guy, the music teacher. He never saw that coming. He had always known the man had a soft spot for her, could see it in the way he acted whenever she was around, how he lingered a little longer during pick-ups at the kindergarten, helping to manage the children even if it wasnât his job, always with an excuse to retain her and talk. His body language was an open book. But back then, Bucky had dismissed him as harmless, barely giving him a second thought. To him, Chris had always been like a friendly Labrador: approachable, with no bite. A non-threat.
But now, that harmless Labrador had grown fangs. The guy wasnât just hanging around the edges anymore; he was stepping in, taking her to dinner, moving into a space Bucky had once occupied. And he had no choice but to suck it up and watch it happen, watch her walk out the door with him. He could handle the distance, the brief moments of tension when they had to interact, but this? The idea of Chris sitting across from her at a candlelit table, making her laugh, holding her gaze... it twisted his guts.
And God knows what else would happen after dinner. Would Chris try to kiss her goodnight? Would she let him? Or worse, would they end up back at his place? His mind ran wild with the possibility of them taking things further, crossing a line he never wanted to imagine. Would she let him touch her in ways Bucky used to, let him see sides of her only he had known? He knew he had no right to feel this way, but it didnât stop the thoughts from torturing him.
Eventually, he glanced at the clock and sighed, raking a hand through his hair. There was no point in torturing himself any further, he couldnât postpone the inevitable any longer.
Reaching the front porch, Bucky hesitated for a moment. He straightened his posture adjusting his clothes, then knocked on the door. As he waited, he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, trying to shake off the tension.
When the door finally swung open, for a split second, neither of them spoke. Her eyes widened just a little, her lips parting as she took him in. It had been a long time since sheâd seen him. His hair had grown back to shoulder length, a few strands falling loose across his forehead. A three-day stubble sharpened his jawline, in a way that made him look rugged and effortlessly handsome. And was he wearing that shirt? The red and black lumberjack one that used to drive her wild?
Bucky caught her reaction and hit him like a shot of adrenaline. When he exited the bathroom that night and picked what to wear, he told himself it was just practical, something comfortable to wear while watching and playing with Ben. The cologne? Just a habit. But deep down, a part of him knew the truth: he wanted her to notice, and that split-second when her eyes widened, scanning him from head to toe, told him everything. She noticed. She definitely noticed. And something about that felt like a victory, even though he wasnât supposed to be playing that game anymore.
He stared at her longer than necessary, his blue gaze drifting over the black dress she wore. New, he realized. It hugged her body in all the right places, accentuating her curves in a way that was impossible to ignore. The hemline? Too short for his liking. He clenched his jaw slightly, knowing full well Chris would be thrilled to see her like this.
Forcing himself to snap out of it, Bucky cleared his throat and broke the silence. âHey,â he said, low and calm, though the tension still simmered beneath the surface. âYou look... good.â He meant it, but the words tasted bitter.
"Thanks," she said, politely but distant, deliberately choosing not to compliment him back. She lingered for a moment, then added, âYouâre late.â
Bucky flinched inwardly at the remark, though he kept his expression neutral. "Traffic," he muttered, stepping inside as she moved aside to let him in. An awkward silence settled between them, the air thick with things left unsaid.
Her fingers toyed with the edge of her dress as she cleared her throat, trying to fill the silence. âBen is in the bathroom,â she said, casually, but there was a tension beneath it. âYou can wait for him in the living room.â
âRight,â Bucky replied, nodding stiffly. He walked past her and into the living room, the space feeling both familiar and foreign at the same time. He took a seat, trying to shake off the strange energy between them, but his mind kept wandering back to the fact that she was dressed for someone else.
A moment later, the doorbell rang, and she turned toward the sound, visibly relieved. She opened the door, and Bucky heard Chrisâs voice, a cheerful greeting that she surely responded to with a soft, warm smile. Bucky didnât need to see it, her tone was different with him, softer, more open.
âHey,â Chris said with bright tone, though there was a subtle shift when he paused. There was a beat of silence before he added, âYou look amazing.â
Bucky couldnât help it. Something pulled him from the couch, and before he knew it, he was standing in the hall, watching the interaction from a few feet away. His eyes narrowed as he observed Chris, sizing him up instinctively. Chris was taller than he remembered, clean-cut in a casual but neat button-down shirt, his easy smile faltering just a fraction when his eyes darted past her, catching sight of Bucky standing there.
Chrisâs brows furrowed, but he quickly masked his reaction, giving Bucky a curt nod. âUh, hey,â he greeted awkwardly, glancing between them.
It was her turn to narrow her eyes. Glancing back over her shoulder, she saw him. Bucky stood at the edge of the hallway, staring directly at Chris, his expression unreadable. His eyes locked onto the man without blinking. He wasnât moving, wasnât saying anything, just staring.
Inwardly, she rolled her eyes. Really? A display of male dominance, here and now? After everything heâd put her through, the mess heâd made of their lives, he suddenly decided he had the right to act territorial? What exactly did he think he was entitled to? The nerve of it sent a wave of irritation through her, tightening her grip on her coat.
But what frustrated her even more -what really troubled her- was that a part of her didnât mind. Beneath her annoyance, something stirred, deep and undeniable, lurking just beneath the surface. She hated to admit it, even to herself, but his presence still had a hold on her. Maybe it didnât bother her as much as she wanted to believe. Maybe, despite everything, there was still a part of her that reacted to him, to the way he watched her, the way he used to make her feel like the center of his world.
Before those feelings could rise any further, before she could let herself dwell on what they meant, she quickly turned back to Chris. She forced a bright smile, pushing away the conflicted thoughts swirling in her mind.
âWe should get going,â she said, pretending not to notice the tension still hanging in the air. She stepped closer to Chris, signaling it was time to leave, hoping to put some distance between her and the weight of Buckyâs gaze.
As the door clicked shut behind them, Bucky stood frozen in place for a moment, the tension that had gripped him not easing, even with their absence. The quiet of the house felt heavier now, pressing down on him. His chest tightened as he stared at the closed door, half-expecting her to walk back in. Of course, she didnât.
His hands clenched into fists at his sides as he replayed the scene in his head: her standing there, beautiful and confident, and Chris⊠that guy was so normal, so easygoing. Exactly what she deserved. Exactly what Bucky could never be. He raked a hand through his hair, frustration bubbling to the surface. What was he even doing? He had no right, he was the one who walked away. He was the one who made her believe she wasnât enough to keep him, that he wanted out. And now, here he was, silently raging because she was moving on, exactly like he supposedly wanted.
Stupid. That was the only word he could come up with to describe how he felt. Stupid for showing up looking the way he did, stupid for thinking that maybe, just maybe, he could still affect her. But what for? His job was to protect her and their son from the shadows, not to stand in the doorway, playing the part of some jealous lover. But God, it hurt more than he expected.
He crossed the living room, his steps heavy against the floor, and slumped into the couch. The house was eerily quiet, save for the faint sound of the TV in the background. Ben was still in the bathroom, probably playing with the liquid soap and making a mess, unaware of the tangled web of emotions his father was caught in.
The hours slipped by, though Bucky barely noticed at first. Benjamin was beyond excited to have his dad all to himself for the evening. They played, joked, and built elaborate lego fortresses, the boyâs laughter filling the house with a warmth Bucky hadnât realized he missed so much. For a little while, he was able to shove everything else to the back of his mind. Being a dad, just a dad, felt like a relief. But every now and then, his gaze would drift to the clock on the wall. He couldnât help it. As much as he tried to stay in the moment with his son, there was a lingering pull, a constant, nagging thought of where she was.
After heâd put Ben to bed, Buckyâs mind wandered back to the date. The image of her in that black dress haunted him, the way Chris had looked at her, the possibility of what might have happened after dinner. His thoughts spiraled, even though he knew it was none of his business anymore. He poured himself a scotch, the amber liquid swirling in his glass as he tried -and failed- to push the thoughts aside.
Eventually, the sound of the front door opening cut through the quiet. The familiar click of her shoes against the entryway tile echoed through the house, sharp and distinct. She was home.
Bucky didnât move. He stayed where he was, seated at the old teakwood table, nursing his scotch. The only light on in the house was the dim glow above the kitchen, so sheâd find him.
The sound of her footsteps grew closer, and he listened intently, his heart beating just a little faster despite his best efforts to keep calm.
She entered the kitchen, her steps a little less steady than usual, mumbling a soft âHiâ as she made her way inside. Bucky glanced up, immediately sensing that she was a little tipsy. She didnât meet his eyes, just plopped down in the chair next to him with a tired sigh. âGod, my feet are killing me,â she muttered, kicking off her heels and wincing.
For a while, the silence stretched between them, broken only by the distant hum of the fridge. She sighed absentmindedly, then reached for his glass of scotch, taking a sip without asking. He was taken aback by the casual intimacy of the gesture, but he said nothing, just watched her as she leaned back in her chair.
Before he could stop himself, the words slipped out. âWant me to rub your feet?â He froze. He couldnât believe heâd said it, half-expecting her to snap at him or give him one of her sharp retorts.
But instead, she surprised him. She looked over at him, her eyes tired but soft, and then shrugged. âYeah...â she said, a little more relaxed than he expected.
Bucky blinked, caught off guard by her response. His heart thudded against his ribcage as he moved toward her, kneeling down in front of her chair. His fingers hovered hesitantly over her ankle before gently wrapping around it, lifting her foot onto his knee.
As he began to knead his thumbs into her sore muscles, the tension that had been brewing in him all night seemed to ease, just a little. Her head lolled back against the chair, a soft sigh escaping her lips.
He couldnât believe he was doing this, touching her again in this way, after everything. He shouldnât, but she didnât seem to mind. If anything, she seemed to relax more as the seconds passed, letting her guard down in a way that felt dangerously familiar.
âSo... how was the date?â Buckyâs voice was quiet, almost too casual as he broke the silence.
Her eyes fluttered open at the question, and for a moment, he thought she might brush him off or remind him that it wasnât his business. But instead, she gave a small shrug, her tone indifferent. âIt was fine.â
Bucky frowned slightly, pressing his thumbs a little harder into the arch of her foot. He wasnât sure if it was frustration or something else pushing his hands. âFine?â he echoed, trying to keep his voice even.
âYeah,â she murmured, closing her eyes. Her voice was soft, almost distracted. âJust... fine.â
He wasnât satisfied with that. He couldnât help himself, he pressed, his tone still light but with a thread of tension beneath it. âOnly... fine?â
She sighed, her eyes still closed as if trying to keep the conversation from getting deeper. âWhat do you want me to say, Bucky?â Her voice wasnât sharp, but there was a subtle edge in her words. âThat it was amazing? That he swept me off my feet? Some dirty little details?â
Buckyâs fingers stilled for a moment, resting against her foot as he met her gaze. He didnât respond right away, unsure if he even wanted to hear the truth, whatever it might be. âI donât know,â he admitted, his voice a little more vulnerable than he intended.
âIt was just fine, nothing more, nothing lessâ
A silence settled between them, but he wasnât ready to let it drop. âAre you going to see each other again outside work?â he ventured, his hands slowly moving up her shin, his touch hesitant but growing bolder. The fact that she didnât push him away emboldened him further. âDid you enjoy yourself?â
Buckyâs hands continued their slow ascent, fingers brushing over her calf and then her knee, his touch firm but careful. When she didnât pull away, he felt his pulse quicken. The silence stretched between them, thick with the weight of things unsaid.
âIn a way,â she finally answered, her voice elusive, a touch distant. She shifted slightly in her chair, subtly parting her thighs as his hands wandered higher. The movement was small, but enough for him to catch it. His breath hitched, and his gaze flicked down to her legs before rising back up to her face, darkening with lust.
"Care to... elaborate?" he pressed again, his voice lower now, rougher. His fingers slid up to her inner thigh, lingering there with a possessive grip as if testing her reaction. Her legs instinctively spread wider beneath his touch, and that simple motion sent a rush of heat through him.
She shifted slightly, as if searching for the right words. "Heâs... nice," she finally said, a bit breathless under his touch. "Heâs thoughtful, considerate, makes me laughâŠâ Her lips twitched in a small smile, but it quickly faded as she looked down at his hand resting on her thigh. âHeâs... good.â
Buckyâs thumb paused, pressing a little harder, as he leaned in closer, his voice barely above a murmur. ââŠAnd?â
She sighed, her eyes opening again to meet his intense gaze. âAnd⊠heâs not you.â
His grip on her thigh tightened involuntarily, his breath catching in his throat. Heâd pushed her away, done everything he could to sever the ties between them, convinced himself it was for her protection. But now, hearing her admit that, it sent his head spinning.
âHeâs not you.â
The room seemed smaller, the air heavier, as the tension between them crackled like electricity. His hand inched higher, dangerously close to where he could feel the heat radiating off her body. Every instinct in him screamed to close the distance, to take what he wanted, to forget everything that had led them to this point. But he forced himself to stop, his gaze locking onto hers, searching her face for any sign that she would tell him to stop.
She didnât. Instead, she held his gaze, her breathing shallow as if waiting to see what he would do next.
Buckyâs grip tightened again. Fuck it. He leaned forward, pressing his face against her other inner thigh, his stubble grazing her skin as he inhaled her scent deeply, a growl rumbling in his chest. She tensed, feeling him nip gently at her sensitive flesh, and then a slow, deliberate lick followed, sending a shiver through her.
"Did he behave, or..." he paused, his tongue teasing the same spot before he looked up at her, his lips brushing her thigh as he continued, "...things got handsy?"
A gasp escaped her when she felt his mouth so dangerously close to where she wanted it most. Her head tilted back just slightly, her body betraying her as desire pooled in her belly. His eyes flicked up, meeting hers, their blue depths darkened with lust, and something more. His lips remained pressed against her skin, refusing to budge until he had his answer.
"You let him touch you?" His voice was a husky whisper, laced with jealousy.
She exhaled slowly, her breath shaky as the memory flickered through her mind. "Yes," she admitted, her voice low, reluctant. "But just briefly, when we kiâ"
Before she could finish, Buckyâs hand shifted, moving up to cup her mound, his fingers pressing firmly against the damp fabric of her underwear. Her words died in her throat, a sharp intake of breath replacing them as his touch ignited a fire that spread through her veins. His hand was deliberate, unapologetic in the way it claimed her, the heel of his palm pressing against her pussy as if he had every right to be there.
"And then?" His question hung in the air, but she couldnât find the words immediately.
Her lips parted as she finally spoke, barely above a whisper. "I wanted to feel something... but I didnât. I just didnât."
Her confession landed between them like a spark to dry wood, setting the tension ablaze. Buckyâs hand remained where it was, but his thumb stroked over the wet fabric, teasing her, testing her resolve as his gaze bore into hers. She had said what he needed to hear, what he craved to know, and now, there was no turning back.
Buckyâs thumb slid the fabric of her underwear aside, his fingers unhesitating as they slipped between her folds, finding her slick with need. He brushed upward, just barely grazing her clit, watching with dark, heavy-lidded eyes as she gasped at the contact. Her body arched involuntarily, but he didnât relent, keeping his movements slow and deliberate, teasing her just enough to drive her crazy but not enough to give her what she craved.
âAndâŠâ he murmured, rasping against the tension rising between them, âhow long did it take you to realize youâd had enough? That it wasnât going to work?â
His thumb circled lazily, making her hips shift forward, chasing the friction he barely offered. The question hung in the air, laced with his possessiveness, through every word. He didnât wait for an answer, his fingers delving deeper inside her, coating themselves in her arousal before they moved back up, brushing over her clit again, this time with more pressure.
"One kiss?" His lips curled in a half-smirk as he watched her face contort with pleasure. He dipped his fingers inside her again, slow, dragging them out just as leisurely. "Two?"
She trembled, unable to form a coherent response, the sensation of his touch overwhelming her senses after so long. Her breath hitched as his fingers increased their pace, every stroke purposeful, designed to unravel her. Bucky leaned upward, his lips brushing the shell of her ear as he murmured, âHow long, doll?â The way he said it, like a dare, made her heart race even faster.
Her head fell back, her body betraying any attempt at control as she whispered breathlessly, âOneâŠâ
A satisfied growl rumbled from him, his fingers rewarding her honesty with a firmer stroke, sending her spiraling closer to the edge.
It wasnât fair. He had cast her aside, almost without looking back, tearing her world apart with his cold departure. And now here she was, grinding her pussy against his fingers like some desperate, needy whore, begging for more. A part of her wanted to slap him, to shove him away and scream at him for every sleepless night she spent wondering why she wasnât enough, why he had thrown their life away so easily. She wanted to tell him how much she hated him for walking out on them.
But then, there was that traitorous side of her. The part that had never stopped hoping. The part that had always waited, held out some foolish, silent hope that heâd come back. That sheâd see that flicker of warmth in his eyes again, the one that told her she was his entire world. And it wasnât just her heart that longed for him, her body had missed him, too. She hated herself for it. For still thinking about him late at night when she touched herself, fingers slipping between her thighs as his name slipped from her lips in the darkness.
And that same traitorous side of her had ruined her date with Chris. Sheâd tried to be present, to laugh, to be charmed by his warm smile and thoughtful gestures. But all night, all she could think about was Bucky.
The way heâd looked at him, cold and assessing, as if he didnât belong there, his presence filling the hallway like he still had some claim to it, to her. What was he trying to prove, anyway? That he was still the man of the house?
She hated how, even while Chris was talking, her mind drifted back to the feeling of Buckyâs fingers tracing his stupid shirt, her memory filling in the rough, familiar feel of his hands on her skin. And she knew, even if she couldnât admit it aloud, that some part of her had wanted him to see her dressed up, to feel in some small way the longing and ache sheâd carried in his absence.
And maybe thatâs why sheâd felt nothing when Chris had leaned in for a kiss, why his gentle smile and soft touches had felt hollow. Even his laugh, light and kind, hadnât stirred her because it wasn't Buckyâs rough, rumbling chuckle or his stupidly confident grin. Bucky, in all his infuriating ways, still occupied every corner of her mind.
Her breath came in shallow gasps, her chest rising and falling rapidly as his fingers worked her closer to the edge. She wanted to be angry, to let that rage consume her, but every time she opened her mouth to say something hurtful, to lash out at him, her body betrayed her. Every roll of her hips against his hand, every needy whimper that slipped from her throat, reminded her of just how much she had missed this.
It wasnât fair. But she couldnât stop.
With a light pinch on her swollen clit, the tension snapped, and she came hard on his fingers. Her mouth fell open, a moan escaping as her body convulsed, riding the wave of pleasure that coursed through her. The world blurred around her as her climax took over, her hips grinding against his hand, chasing every last second of the release.
Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, a mix of the overwhelming pleasure and the emotional storm swirling inside her. A few finally escaped, rolling silently down her cheeks, but before she could turn away, Bucky was there, his lips brushing them away with surprising tenderness. His breath ghosted over her skin as he whispered soft, comforting words she could barely make out, something about how beautiful she was, how good she had been for him, as if they hadnât been tangled up in all this pain and heartache.
His touch was almost reverent as he slowly withdrew his fingers, slick and glistening from her release. Their gazes met, and he didnât break eye contact as he brought those same fingers to his mouth, licking them clean with deliberate, agonizing slowness. He stood up in one fluid motion, effortlessly lifting her from the chair by the waist as if she weighed nothing, and in a swift, controlled movement, he placed her on top of the table, positioning himself between her legs.
Before she could even process it, his arms were around her, pulling her into a bear hug that was both tight and needy. His face buried itself in the crook of her neck, his breath warm against her skin as he inhaled deeply, taking her in.
He held her as if letting go was not an option, his grip firm yet strangely vulnerable. The way he clung to her felt like both a claim and an apology, urgent -almost broken- like he was holding onto her not just physically, but emotionally, too.
âTell me you donât want this, and Iâll leave,â he murmured against her skin, his voice rough and low, against her neck. He didnât dare look at her, not yet, because if he did, if he saw doubt or rejection in her eyes, it would break him.
The silence stretched between them, thick and heavy. Each second felt like an eternity. His breath was uneven, ragged, as he waited for her to say something, anything. Another moment passed, tension coiling tighter in his chest until he couldnât stand it anymore. He lifted his head, his gaze searching hers, bracing himself for the worst. But instead of the words that would send him away, he saw her eyes flicker downward to his lips. It was brief, a split-second decision, but it was enough.
So he leaned in, cautiously at first, like he was testing the waters after years of distance. His lips brushed against hers softly, almost hesitant, as if afraid this fragile moment would break apart. But the second she responded, it was like a dam broke. His hands cradled her face, deepening the kiss with desperation. It was messy, all-consuming, there was no gentleness, no tenderness. This was not the careful, delicate dance of two people testing the waters. This was hunger, a ravenous need to reclaim what had been lost. His lips moved down to her jaw, her neck, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses, and she moaned softly, her fingers tightening in his hair as he sucked on the sensitive skin below her ear.
His hands gripped her waist, strong and possessive, pulling her closer until her body was flush against his. The need to feel her, to claim her, was overwhelming. It was like two years of silence, longing, and frustration had ignited in an instant, everything that had been pushed down now surging forward, unstoppable.
âIâll ask you again, babydoll. Are you sure you want this?â Buckyâs voice was thick with restraint, the tension in his muscles barely contained as he hovered over her, his breath hot against her neck. He was giving her one last chance to stop this, to pull away, even though every fiber of his being was screaming for her. But instead of words, her answer was a quiet, deliberate motion. Her hand slid between them, deftly unbuttoning his jeans, her fingers brushing against the outline of his erection.
A low growl escaped him, and his hand shot down to catch her wrist, halting her movements. His gaze met hers, dark and intense, his chest heaving with barely restrained desire. âI need you to say it,â he murmured, voice rough, on the edge of control.
âYes,â she whispered.
That was all he needed.
Without hesitation, he pulled his shirt over his head in one swift motion, not bothering with the buttons, his muscles flexing as the fabric slid off. The moment his skin was free, he didnât give himself time to think. His eyes locked on hers as he grabbed the neckline of her dress. With a sharp tug, the fabric tore easily under his grip, the sound of it ripping filling the air. The dress fell to her waist, exposing her bare breasts to his gaze.
âHey! It was brand new, you know?â she protested.
âI noticed,â he replied, his fingers grazing the tattered edge of her dress. âBut you didnât buy it to wear it for me, did you?â His voice dropped, thick with jealousy as he alluded to her date with Chris. He dipped his head, his lips hovering just above her exposed skin, his breath warm against her chest. âI donât want it on youâ. He latched his lips onto her nipple, his tongue swirling with a hungry need, while his vibranium fingers pinched and teased her other breast. His breath was hot against her chest as he whispered between kisses, âYou have no idea how much Iâve missed this... missed you.â His words came out rough, full of longing that he couldnât hold back any longer. âEvery night... thinking about touching you again. Tasting you. Making you come over my cock.â
Her body responded, arching into him. She bit her lip, trying to stifle a moan, afraid that maybe Ben could hear her, but it slipped out anyway.
His hands moved to her thighs, gripping them firmly as he let out a low growl. âI thought about this, over and over... how youâd feel under me, how youâd sound when I made you scream my name again.â His voice was thick, hoarse, as he tugged at her dress, tearing the fabric completely until it was nothing but rags on the floor. He didnât stop there, his thumbs slipping under the waistband of her flimsy panties. With a swift tug, the seams gave way, tearing effortlessly in his hands. He brought the soaked cloth to his nose, inhaling deeply, groaning as if the scent alone was enough to drive him insane. âGod, Iâve missed this,â he muttered, his eyes never leaving hers. He flicked his tongue against the ruined cloth, savoring the taste with a low, hungry growl.
Without warning, he tossed the panties aside. His hands moved quickly, unbuttoning what remained of his jeans and kicking off his shoes before sliding the denim and underwear down in one fluid motion. They hit the floor with a soft thud as he stepped toward her. âTell me how much you missed me,â he demanded softly.
She stared at him, drinking him in. He looked leaner, his body sculpted in sharp lines of muscle. Heâd lost weight, surely by going mission after mission mixed with his poor eating habits. He was never good at taking care of himself. She almost missed the small paunch he used to have these last years, the one he hated, but sheâd loved to bite. There was something comforting about that softness, but now he was the embodiment of raw strength.
Her gaze drifted lower, lingering on the sight of his cock, standing at full attention. She swallowed. Apparently, her memories failed to measure up to reality. He was big, sure, sheâd always known that, but this big? Her core tightened with need, clenching in raw anticipation.
"I missed you,â she breathed, her voice barely a whisper, laced with longing as her eyes lifted to meet his. âSo much⊠you have no idea. God, youâve ruined me.â
Her words shattered whatever restraint he had left. Heâd imagined, countless times, that if this moment ever came, heâd take his time, savor her, and make it last. But now, faced with her beneath him, so close and so ready, patience was a luxury he no longer possessed.
Without a second thought, he gripped her thighs and spread her wide on the table, lining himself up as he dragged the head of his cock along her entrance, coating himself in her slick heat. In a swift, desperate thrust, he drove into her, hard and deep, filling her completely as a ragged groan escaped his lips.
She cried out, her body responding immediately, arching into him as he slammed into her again. His hands gripped her hips with bruising force, and his own moved in a relentless rhythm, every thrust driving him deeper. He couldnât stop. Her moans spurred him on, her words circling in his head like a drug.
âRuined you, huh?â His breath was ragged as he pulled almost all the way out, teasing her with the loss, before slamming back in. âLet me remind you how much.â With a raw hunger that had been bottled up far too long, Bucky's thrusts became brutal, each one driving her back along the table, her nails scraping against the wood as he took her over and over. The grip on her hips was iron-hard, pinning her down so she could do nothing but take everything he gave her. He leaned in close, his breath hot against her ear. âThink anyone else could ever do this?â he murmured, his voice dark and rough, each word punctuated by a powerful thrust. His lips ghosted along her jaw, and he pushed her to answer, knowing the effect he was having on her. âTell me,â he demanded softly âCould anyone else make you feel like this?â He wanted her to say it, to make her admit that no one else would ever satisfy her the way he could.
She whimpered, clutching at his shoulders as he pounded into her, her nails digging into his skin as he pushed her higher and higher. âNo⊠no one else.â Her words were broken, barely audible over her moans, but it was all he needed to hear.
âThatâs rightâ he murmured against her lips, his voice low and rough, âNo one else gets to touch you like this,â he breathed, each word laced with raw possession as he thrust deeper. âOnly me,â he rasped. âOnly I get to make you feel this way.â
He growled, one hand leaving her hip to slide between them, his fingers pressing down on her clit in quick, merciless circles. âThis is mine,â he hissed, metal fingers working just enough to bring her close before pulling away, only to return just as she thought she couldnât take any more.
She cried out, her body writhing beneath him as he drove her to the edge. His pace never faltered, his hips grinding against hers with a relentless rhythm, and his grip on her only tightened as she arched off the table, his name spilling from her lips like a prayer.
"Say it," he demanded, his voice thick with lust and something darker, something possessive. His hands slid down the back of her thighs, pushing her legs up against her torso as he plunged deeper, she could barely breathe every time he bottomed out. The way he hit her, the pressure at her cervix, sent shockwaves of pleasure-pain coursing through her, each one making her mewl helplessly. Her thighs shook against his chest, her hands desperately clutching at his forearms, fingers digging into his skin.
He leaned in closer again, his face inches from hers, his lips brushing her ears as he growled, âTell me youâre mine.â
"Iâm yours⊠fuck, Bucky!" she complied, her voice breaking between her panting breaths.
"Again," he ordered, his hips slamming into hers, the table creaking under the force of his movements. He could feel her walls clenching around him, so tight, so wet, he almost lost control then and there.
âIâm yours,â she whimpered again, her voice shaky, breathless.
âChris will be so disappointed to hear thatâ he growled. âLetâs make sure you stay ruined, just in case.â He was relentless now, fucking her hard, deep, his body pressing hers further into the table as he pushed her thighs harder against her body giving him even better access, hitting that sensitive spot that left her gasping, his grip and the relentless pace leaving no room for anything but the sensation of him filling her completely, over and over.
She whimpered in response, too overwhelmed to speak, her entire body tensing as the pleasure became almost unbearable. His thumb moved between them again pressing against her clit, rubbing circles that sent sparks of heat shooting through her. She gasped, her eyes squeezing shut as her orgasm built rapidly, her body teetering on the edge.
âMilk my cock.â he ordered, his voice harsh, primal. His words pushed her over the edge and then she was gone, her body shivering violently as she clenched around him, her thighs tightening around him as her hands fisted in his hair, pulling him closer. The sound of his name fell from her lips, half-whisper, half-cry as the climax gripped her, intense and all-consuming, leaving her a trembling, breathless mess.
âIâm gonna fill you up,â he growled through gritted teeth, his hips snapping into hers with bruising force. âAnd then some more,â he rasped, his voice thick with raw need. âYou wonât even be able to keep it all in, babydoll.â
With a final thrust, Buckyâs head fell back, a deep groan rumbling from his chest as he reached his climax. His body trembled, muscles tensing as he spilled himself inside her, a heated wave of release filling her completely. He held her there, his cock kept pulsing until his release overflowed, warm and thick, beginning to trickle down, pooling beneath them.
Still buried inside her, Bucky loosened his grip on her thighs, hands sliding down to cradle her waist as he leaned forward, his forehead resting gently against her shoulder. He nuzzled into the curve of her neck, breathing in her scent, grounding himself as the heat of their union slowly ebbed, replaced by a quiet intimacy that neither of them seemed prepared for.
After a moment, he gently eased himself away, untangling their bodies but letting his hands linger at her hips, as though afraid to lose the connection. He took a step back, his gaze dropping for a moment before lifting to meet hers, hoping sheâd break the silence but she didnât look at him, her teeth worrying her bottom lip.
Buckyâs chest tightened, a familiar pang surfacing as he watched her withdraw inward, her mind elsewhere despite the intimacy theyâd just shared. Finally, she spoke, her voice low, tentative. âSo⊠what now, Bucky?â
He took a deep breath, searching for the right words. âI donât⊠I didnât plan for this to happen,â he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper as he forced himself to hold her gaze. âI know I shouldnât have done this. Not afterâŠâ He hesitated, but the truth slipped out anyway. âNot after what I put you through.â
Her eyes narrowed, suspicion clouding her expression, old wounds resurfacing. âThen why did you put me through this, Bucky?â she asked, her voice soft but laced with pain. âYou said you couldnât do this. That you needed space, that we were holding you back.â Her words hung heavy in the air, each one a quiet accusation tinged with vulnerability. âAnd now, youâre here, acting likeâŠâ Her voice dropped to a whisper. ââŠacting like you never left.â
He hesitated, knowing this was his chance to finally tell her the truth or let her keep believing the lie heâd used to protect them. He rubbed a hand over his face, then lowered it, meeting her gaze with raw honesty. âI didnât leave because I didnât want you,â he murmured, his voice trembling. âI left because I was afraid that my past... everything I tried to bury might come back to hurt you. Hurt him.â His voice softened. âI thought if you believed I didnât want this life, it would keep you safe.â
He glanced down, his hand twitching at his side before he looked up again, his voice hushed but resolute. "But⊠I want to come back,â he admitted, the words raw, like theyâd been buried deep for too long. âTo the house. To you, and Benjamin.â
A chill lingered in the air, and she wrapped her arms around herself, gaze flicking over their scattered clothes still strewn across the kitchen floor. She looked away, her shoulders tense as she rubbed her temples. "So, whatâs changed, Bucky? The risks are still there, the same threats, the same fears..."
Buckyâs gaze didnât waver, his hand reaching out as though to touch her, but he stopped short, fingers brushing the edge of the table instead. "Whatâs different is me. Iâve had time to face what I couldnât before. Stepping aside didnât keep you safer; it just kept me away. I donât want Ben growing up with a dad who keeps him and his mom at armâs length. Almost a stranger.â His voice softened, the vulnerability seeping through. âBeing apart from you doesnât make things better. I miss you, doll. I miss us.â
âYou canât just leave and come back like nothing happened, Bucky.â Her voice was softer this time, almost breaking. âI wanted you here⊠every day, every night. Not just for me, but for Benjamin.â Her voice trembled with raw vulnerability.
He took a step closer, his hand hovering near hers, unsure if sheâd pull away. âI know, and I hate that I ever thought leaving was the answer.â His tone was low, his gaze steady on her.
She looked down, her throat bobbing as she swallowed, emotions tightening her expression. âIf you come back, I need to know youâre here to stay,â she whispered, the words more for herself than for him. âBecause I donât think I can go through this again⊠and I wonât let him either.â Her voice cracked on the last word, her hands gripping the table harder as if to keep herself grounded.
Her words shattered the last remnants of his restraint. Without another thought, Bucky dropped to his knees in front of her, the hard tile digging into him as he pressed his forehead against her thigh. She sucked in a breath, her hand instinctively moving to his hair, fingers trembling as they brushed against him. He could feel her hesitation, the walls sheâd built so carefully to guard herself from the ache heâd left behind.
âSay yes,â he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, thick with the vulnerability he could no longer hide. âSay yes, doll. I know I donât deserve it.â His hands gripped her hips, anchoring him as if she were the only thing keeping him steady. âBut I swear,â His voice cracked, raw and pleading. âI swear, Iâll never walk away again. Not from you, not from Benjamin.â
She looked down, a mix of shock and pain written on her face as she saw him there, broken, open, begging her for something sheâd once offered so freely. Her hand gently settled on his cheek, and he leaned into the warmth of her touch, feeling the softness of her fingers against the rough stubble of his jaw. The ache in her eyes nearly undid him, but he stayed there, his forehead still pressed to her thigh, his breath heavy, waiting.
Her eyes searched his, and slowly, her resolve began to waver, the smallest flicker of trust finding its way back into her gaze. "Then prove it," she whispered, barely trusting herself as her hand lingered against his cheek, the warmth of her palm seeping into him. "Show me youâre here to stay."
After her words hung in the air, a fragile silence between them, Buckyâs gaze dropped. He swallowed, his hand reaching for something inside the scattered clothes on the floor.
From his back pocket, he drew out a small, well-worn leather charm, a little star-shaped pendant, its edges smoothened from years of handling. She recognized it immediately. It was something sheâd passed on to him when he left for his first mission after they married, a symbol she hoped would keep him safe. She thought it had been lost long ago, like so many pieces of them.
He held it out to her, and the look on his face was raw, vulnerable in a way she hadnât seen since the early days. âI never stopped carrying this,â he murmured, his voice rough and thick. âEven when I tried to convince myself I was doing the right thing by staying away. I couldnât let go of youâŠof us. I kept it close, hoping⊠hoping someday I could come back and give it back to you. I know it doesnât make up for the time I lost, butâŠâ His voice faltered, the sincerity there unmistakable.
She stared at the pendant, her hand shaking slightly as she reached out, fingers grazing the familiar leather. All the memories it held, the late-night goodbyes, the whispered promises, the hope sheâd once tied to it, all of it rushed back, filling the space between them.
She looked down at him, seeing in his eyes the weight of the years, the regrets, but also the glimmer of the man sheâd fallen in love with.
Taking a shaky breath, she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. âThis⊠this was supposed to keep you safe, Bucky. Keep us safe.â
âAnd it did,â he replied softly, his hand covering hers over the charm. âIt kept you here.â He paused, his voice barely a murmur. âAnd maybe now⊠it can bring me back home.â
The last of her defenses wavered, and she felt herself letting go of the anger, the hurt, all the pieces that had kept them apart. âMaybe⊠maybe it was always meant to guide you back here,â she said softly, her eyes meeting his with a warmth he hadnât seen in years. âSo if youâre really here to stay⊠then welcome home, Bucky.â
Dividers by: @strangergraphics
#bucky barnes x curvy!reader#bucky x curvy!reader#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes smut#bucky smut#bucky barnes fic#bucky x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes#fatws bucky#bucky barnes fanfic#the winter soldier x reader#winter soldier x female reader#winter soldier fanfiction#Ex-husband!Bucky
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STAY THE NIGHT | Rafe Cameron
MASTERLIST (Oneshot)
Pairing â Rafe x FWB!Female Reader
Summary â When Rafe sees you as just a fuck buddy, you embody the role and remind him what that truly means.
Word Count â 5.5K
Content â 18+, Smut, Jealousy (From Rafe), Dominance Play, Oral Receiving (F + M), Fingering, P in V Sex, Unprotected Sex, Cockwarming, Praise Kink, Fluff At The End
Rafe Cameron doesn't get jealous.
You two aren't a couple. You are nothing more than casual fuck buddies that are conveniently located within proximity of one another when one of you need to blow off some steam or get off. The feeling is completely mutual.
However, you've been exclusive.
It's unspoken, of course. No one is willing to admit that they don't want the other to be sleeping with other people and you settled on that ambiguity.
You thought it could mean something more.
You thought wrong.
The other day, after fooling around, you laid in his bed, wearing nothing, and asked if you could stay the night. As part of your undefined relationship, you don't do sleepovers. Rafe doesn't do sleepovers. However, he was the one who was calling you after midnight. He was the one who wanted you to sneak out of your house, where your parents placed a curfew. If you go home now, you would be caught dead in the act and get into trouble. It would be easier to save yourself and stay over.
"No." Rafe declared, not letting the suggestion linger for more than a second. You lifted yourself from the bed by propping your elbows against his mattress, staring at the man who's searching for his throwaway clothes on the floor and redressed himself. "We don't do sleepovers. I don't want to be caught with a Pogue."
"Rafe." You said with a hint of annoyance. He saw you naked, but he was afraid of being seen with you in public? "It's fucking four in the morning. My parents are going to see me."
He scoffed. "Not my problem."
"So what? You don't care if I get in trouble?"
He shrugged, pulling his shirt over his chest. "You're just a fuck."
You said nothing. You just stared at him. He quickly gets dressed and finds your clothes around his floor, throwing them on the bed for you to take. With a huff, you pull yourself from the comforts and put them on.
"I'll call you." He said as you walked out of his bedroom, but you didn't answer him. All you did was flip him off and make your way out.
The next morning, you got in trouble with your parents regarding your absence. But, you said nothing, taking the lecture they gave you and headed to your room.
And you thought, if he sees me as a quick fuck, fine. I'll be just that.
The next Kook party, you were there. You always attended Kook parties, despite being a Pogue, simply because the alcohol is all free and it tasted better. No more cheap beer on The Boneyard, but you had to admitâthe music was better.
Kooks can't play for shit.
This party happened to be on Tanneyhill, the mansion where Rafe lived. You haven't seen him since the last time you hooked up, and it's been the longest you've gone without seeing each other. Sure, he called you but you let it go to voicemails and all his texts were left on read. You know, without a doubt, Rafe would be looking for you and attempting to pull you to the nearest bathroom to fuck your brains out.
But you didn't care.
(Maybe just a little).
After dancing for a while, grinding against random strangers and making conversations with some friends of yours, you settled into a seat next to a Kook. He introduced himself as Ethan, and you chat with him as you drink from your cup, making small talk about what you're doing this summer.
He seemed interested enough. His eyes shamelessly glance down at your top, which practically shows off your tits, and floats back to your lips a couple of times. You knew if you wanted to, he would've follow you to a bedroom and fuck you.
But you didn't.
You laughed at his jokes. You told some of your own.
All while having an nagging feeling of a pair of eyes on the back of your head.
You didn't need to turn around to know who it was. You know exactly who.
And Rafe Cameron is fuming.
He noticed you when you first walked in, in a top that shows off too much and a skirt that covers practically nothing. You walked into Tanneyhill as if you owned the place, despite being a Pogue, and that's one of the things that irritates him about you.
But it also made him attracted to you.
Your confidence. Your demeanor. You never backed down when Rafe tries to put you in your place and you never let him gain control without a fight. He likes that you make him work for it; there's a thrill in the chase. Because he knows, at the end of the day, it's his bed that you ended up in. It's his cock that you're sucking.
But, at this moment, he isn't so sure. Instead of being in his arms, talking to him, you were talking to some random fucking guy who attended Kook Academy and is making you laugh.
You didn't even bother to tell him you were coming.
Rafe thought he could hold it in until he got you alone.
But that was before the guy put his hand on your upper thigh and you let him.
It takes mere seconds for Rafe to cross the yard, and when he comes behind you, it surprises you at how silent he was. "Get your hands off my fucking girl," he snapped at Ethan and before Ethan got the chance to back off, Rafe grabs your arm and pulls you off the chair, taking you inside of Tanneyhill.
You let him drag you for a few moments. The booze in your system is making your reaction sluggish, but when the realization dawns on you, you finally pull away when you reach in front of his bedroom, hidden in a dark hallway.
"What the fuck are you doing?"
He scoffs at your words. "What am I doing?" He repeats. You nod. He jabs an accusing finger in your direction. "What the fuck are you doing?"
You lift the cup to your lips. "I'm drinking."
His eyes are livid. "With that guy?" He gestures outside where Ethan is, jealousy pouring from his words and he sounds like he's using every inch of restraint he has to hold everything together. You shouldn't be enjoying it so much, but you are. When you don't answer him, feigning a bored expression, Rafe gets more frustrated. He doesn't like that you aren't reacting. He doesn't like it at all. "What's your fucking problem?"
You lift your shoulders in a casual shrug, pressing the red solo cup against your lips and says, "thought I was just another fuck."
He knows you were throwing his words back at him. He knows that this is some fucking test that you're doing to drive him bad. He also knows it's working, so much so that he knocks the cup out of your hands, causing the content to spill all over his marble floor. "Fuck you."
You scoff, unfazed by his aggression. "You already did." You say, and while Rafe is silently raging underneath, you decide to take it a step further. Closing in the distance until you're right in front of his face, you smirk, "and you fucking loved it."
Rafe is breathing hard, his blue eyes searching your face, his chest raising and falling in rapid beats as frustration rolls off of him, all while you tip your head to the side, raising your brow, challenging him to respond.
He does.
By slamming his lips against yours.
One of his hands catches the back of your neck as he presses a bruising and punishing kiss against your lips, eliciting a moan from the back of your throat. Instinctively, you throw your arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer.
"You're mine." He breathes against your lips when you break apart, trailing kisses down the column of your neck as you tip your head back to give him more access, feeling his mouth working against your skin. "And no fucking asshole from the Academy is going to take you away from me."
Wanting to tease him further, you say. "What if I leave?"
He answers you by sucking on a sensitive spot on your neck, causing you to arch into him and let out an involuntary moan as his free hand descends down to your short skirt and roughly palms your ass. Rafe chuckles against your skin, satisfied by your body's reaction to him. "Then no one is going to make you feel like I do."
His hands move to pull down your top, causing your tits to spill out of the fabric. The cold air pricks at your exposed skin and Rafe takes a beat of a second to admire you before lifting his gaze to meet you in an easy, cocky grin.
"So ready for me," he teases, moving his hand up to play with your hardened nipples between his fingers. You let out a small sigh. "God, you're fucking gorgeous."
"Shut up," you say, not liking how his words are making your cheeks flush with heat and a flutter of butterflies to swarm your stomach. This is just a fuck, you remind yourself. He lifts his blue eyes to meet you for a brief second before descending his mouth down to cover one of your nipples.
You always like playing with yourself there. As his tongue swirls around the sensitive tip, his teeth lightly graze against the bud, causing your moan to echo across the hallway and his hand immediately slaps over your mouth, silencing them.
Rafe's eyes lock with yours. "You don't want anyone to hear what a needy girl you are, do you?"
You clench your jaw underneath his hand, at his dominance, but when you don't answer fast enough, he asks again. "Do you?"
You shake your head and he pulls himself off of you, the cold invades the absence of his heat. But, Rafe doesn't leave you for long. He grabs your hand and pulls you into his bedroom. The moment the door slams close, his lips return on yours and his hands explore over your exposed body.
Your core clenches as Rafe slams you against the back of the door, kissing you hungrily as he lowers his hand to the cutoff of your skirt and pushes the flimsy material up to your hips before cupping your pussy.
"God, you're dripping," he says with a small laugh, looking up to you. "Are you this wet for me, baby?"
You are. Rafe Cameron has a way to make your entire body responsive to him, his touch, his kisses, his everything. But, you don't want to let him know that. You don't know how much you want it, how much you need it.
Instead of answering him, you say with a roughness to your voice, "if you don't fuck me, Cameron, I'll find someone else who will."
Humor leaves his face and his expression hardens. He cups your cunt hard, causing you to involuntary jolt forward into his hand and a small whimper to escape you. "This is mine. No other fucking man is going to touch this but me."
"Big words for someone who hasn't made me come."
His eyes darken and, with your taunting and teasing getting to him, he finally pushes your panties to the side and inserts a rough finger inside of your pussy, causing you to wince at the abrupt motion. "Can you handle it?"
You nod with closed eyes, feeling as he adds a second finger, thrusting in a steady but rough pace, his other hand fondling with your tits.
You lean back against the door with heavy breaths, moaning and clenching as your orgasm builds from his rhythm. Rafe knows your body, he knows you're about to come, and as your moans get more erratic and you grind harder into his hand, he quickens his thrusts. Leaning into you, he says to your ear, "let it out, baby."
You do.
Your walls clench around his fingers tightly as you ride on your high, so much so that you hear his muttered fuck under his breath. When you're slowly coming down from your climax, Rafe removes his hand. The loss of his touch causes you to frown but before you get the chance to open your eyes and complain, he pushes the wet digits against the entrance of your lips. "Suck."
You want to argue back, about him telling you what to do, but you can't seem to help but listen. Your eyes open and find his face, watching you as you suck his fingers clean of your arousal. "Good girl."
When he withdraws his fingers, clarity dawns on you. He's wearing too much while you're practically exposed. You didn't like how uneven the playing field is, and with a gesture to his shirt and pants, you demand. "Take it off."
His smirk is smug. "Eager, aren't we?"
"If I have to be naked, so do you."
"You aren't naked." He gestures back to you and you look down at yourself. While your tits are showing and your panties are soak, he's right, you technically aren't naked. Not afraid of backing down from a challenge, you easily pull your tiny top over your shoulders and push your skirt and panties down to your ankles.
Stepping out of them, you look back to see Rafe admiring your naked body. You can see the outline of his erection straining against his pants, and for a moment, a self-consciousness creeps up on you and you blush. With a hard swallow, you point to him. "Your turn."
The corner of his lips quirks up at how demanding you are and he pulls his shirt over his body, revealing the defined and taunt muscles of his chest underneath. Your mouth waters. You watch as he goes for his beltâknowing youâre watchingâthat he teases it out slowly. He messes with the buckle, taking his sweet time, that you grow impatient.Â
"Goddammit," you mutter under your breath, approaching him and pushing his hands out of the way, sinking to your knees as you unbuckle the belt with easeâpractices from all the other times. When you pull it out of his pants, you stop, looking up to Rafe.
"Go on, princess." He gestures, a cocky grin at the sight of you on your knees for him. "Finish what you started."
You hate how much power he has over you this time, how he is telling you what to do, but because of how needy you are, how much you want him between your legs and his cock to be in you, you listen. You unzip and pull down his pants, revealing an impressed bulge underneath his briefs. With one easy tug, you freed his cock and it stood in front of you, hard and leaking with pre-cum.
On your knees, you look up to see Rafe watching you, waiting to see what you do. His eyes are hungry and his arousal is obvious. Tentatively, you wrap your hand around the thick cock, your fingers barely connecting together because of his girth.
And slowly, you rub up and down his shaft.
A hiss leaves the back of Rafe's throat and satisfaction pools in your core at the realization that you are making him feel this way, that you have this much control. "Faster." He commands, his voice thick with desire.
Instead of listening to his orders, you open your mouth and take his cock in your mouth, swallowing the salty taste as you swirl your tongue at his head. Added with the motion of your hand playing with his balls, and rubbing him up and down, Rafe canât help but rock his hips against your face.Â
âFuck,â he swears, his hand finds your hair and pulls your closer to him, as your grip around him gets firmer and you hollow your cheeks, creating a stronger suction. Rafe groans under your touch, tugging the root of your strands, wanting you to do anything and everything to build him closer to his climax. âFuck, baby, Iâm close.âÂ
With that pride of information, you slow down, your fingers loosen their pace and you pop the cock out of your mouth. Rafe feels the instant loss of touch and he looks down at you, his expression hard and angry.
"What the fuck?"
"Say please."
He says your name in a command, but you don't budge.
Rafe's blue eyes are hard. He knows you do this. He knows you like to mess with him, take back control whenever you find yourself in a small position of power and remind him of his place. Irritation builds in his chest, this time worse than the others, but so does his delayed climax. He needs it more.
With a reluctant sigh, he says, "please."
You return your motion, moving in slow, torturous strokes as your hand moves up and down his slick length, creating enough pleasure for him to feel but not enough friction to ease into his climax. Your mouth has yet to return on his cock and without the added assistance, his jaw tense and his frustration and horniness builds.Â
In a desperate plea, Rafe begs, "baby, please."
His voice didn't sound like his own and his words are so rough, so willing, that you can't help but alleviate him from his misery. You reconnect your lips on his tip and begin to rub his faster, firmer, sucking him harder. With the edge of delay, Rafe comes fast with a guttural groan, spilling in your mouth as you lap over the taste, swallowing all of it.
Rafe lowers himself and guides you back to your feet, pulling you towards the bed and pushing you flat against the mattress, laying on your back.
He lowers himself off the edge of the bed, sinking to his knees as he steps in front of your exposed pussy, and looks up to see the self-satisfied smirk on your face at the little stunt you pulled back there. In a low voice, he says, "you're going to regret that."
A finger drags up your slit, in a slow motion, gathering your wetness on the digit but producing enough pressure that it makes you whine. You try to grind yourself against his hand but he lays his palm on the flat of your stomach, holding you in place.Â
When his eyes connect with your needy gaze, he says, âmy turn.âÂ
Dipping his head between your legs, he kisses your inner thighs in slow, agonizing touches. It produces an aching feel to your core as he gives careful attention to both of your thighs, slowly creeping up to your throbbing cunt, but not quite giving you a release.Â
Rafe lingers on a particular sensitive spot near your pussy, sucking and kissing the placement until you're writhing in pleasure and frustration, desperate to feel his tongue in you.
"Rafe," you say with a throaty beg and he grins against your skin.
"I said you're going to regret it."
"Yeah, and if you take any longer, I'm going to go downstairs to find Ethan."
Rafe hates it when you mention other men, or even think of other men, especially when heâs fucking you, but it does the trick as he moves between you and his fingers spread your folds. âYou are this wet for me, baby, not Ethan,â he reminds you, before lowering himself to your pussy, flattening his tongue against your center before moving up and down in slow strokes.Â
âFuck,â you moan as he finds your sensitive clit and sucks on the nub, the sound of wetness fills the bedroom as the low volume of the music thumps from downstairs. He lets one finger enter your cunt, beginning at a slow pace. âRafe, ohmygod.â
He moves faster, rougher, lapping out your taste as if he was dying of thirst. With his finger quickening and his tongue working a miracle on you, another orgasm builds.Â
âIâm close,â you whisper and he nods. He moves with precision and god, Rafe Cameron is good at eating pussy. When his tongue enters into you and the pad of his thumb rubs circular motions around your clit, you canât help but arch into his pleasure and come on his face.Â
You fall against the mattress with a heavy breath, but Rafe doesnât stop. He continues to suck and lap and rub, causing you to wrap your thighs tightly around his head. Youâre already so exhausted, so sensitive, coming down from your high, but that does nothing to satiate the man between your legsâfingers and tongue buried inside of you, still hungry.Â
Your thighs violently shake and your fingers rack through his hair, pulling, âohmygod, ohmygod,â you moan as he works another orgasm from you, your stomach tightening and the pressure being so unbearable you feel as if youâre going to cave and explode.Â
âCome for me, baby, I want another one.â He mumbles against your cunt, the low hum of his voice vibrates through your body in a pleasurable sensation. With a rougher pace and a harder suction around your clit, you come for a second time in a row.Â
Youâre an absolute wreck when he pulls away and, assessing the damage he caused, Rafe chuckles at the sight before him. You splay out on the mattress, breathing heavily with low lids and the prettiest pussy. He lowers himself, placing both hands on either side of your head to carry his weight, he plants a soft kiss on your lips.Â
His eyes set on you, a gentle gaze, and whispers. âCan you take another, baby?âÂ
Though you are weak from all the orgasms you endured, you still nod, looping your arms around his neck as he descends closer to you, planting kisses against your lips, the corner of your mouth, to the edge of your jawline. You can feel his erection grazing at your entrance, waiting to enter, and the thought itself ignites another round of passion and need within you.Â
Rafe pulls back just enough to line his cock against your wet folds. Before he enters, he looks up to you, waiting for a confirmation sign. When you nod, he slowly pushes the length into your aching core and you jerk forward.Â
He goes in slow at first, allowing your walls to adjust to his size because, no matter how many times heâs been inside of you, it still takes a moment for your pussy to register that this is him. That this is his pussy. A hiss escapes the back of his throat. âFuck, youâre so tight.âÂ
You, with what little strength you have left, push yourself up as he rocks against your hips, beginning his thrusts. You get closer to him, grabbing his shoulders, while he takes the opportunity to play with your tits.Â
This new position allows him to enter deeper inside of you, hitting a new angle, causing you to let out a cry from the explosion of pleasure. In addition to the remnants of the orgasms you had a few moments prior, as Rafe pounds into your very sensitive core, you begin to feel as if youâre seeing stars.Â
Rafe leans down, closer to your ear as he asks, "who's fucking you?"
You feel your stomach knot and tighten, knowing heâs getting you close. But, you also can feel his cock twitching inside your walls, alerting you that heâs also getting close. With this dynamic power, you turn your head to face Rafe, connecting your heavy-lid eyes with his.Â
âEthan.âÂ
Rafe stills. His eyes darken at your words, watching the way your lips curl with an innocent look and he decided he hates it. He hates this little power play you're doing to him, he hates how it's working. He knows that you two are nothing more than fuck buddies, but without the reassurance that you are hisâfully, devotedly hisâhe doesn't know if you haven't fucked another guy before. If you haven't had Ethan's name on your lips.
His hand lowers between the two of you, lightly grazing against your sensitive clit. You jolt into his touch. "Did you fuck him?"
His voice is low, dangerously low, as you watch how serious he turned with the tease of another man's name. You tilt your head to the side, challenging him. "And if I did?"
He pinches your clit and your hips arch forward, but he uses his other hand to grab it still. Your core throbbing while he remains inside of you and does nothing. You realize, in this moment, that you might've gone too far. You feel full and have everything in your possession to make you reach your highest peak but you chose to delay it with a joke that wasn't even that funny.
Especially not now.
Rafe slowly rubs your clit with his fingers, painfully light, teasing and punishing you all in one. You gasp into his touch, but he doesn't let you move. His grip remains firm on your hips, holding you in place as you ache around his cock, as he can feel your walls clench around him, begging to be fucked.
But he needs to hear you say it.
"Rafe," you choke, and his eyes connect with yours. Your eyes are teary, your breathing is erratic, and you are trying desperately to produce some friction between your legs and give you some semblance of pleasure. "Rafe, move."
"No, princess," he says with a deadly calm, shaking his head. "You want to play mind games with me all night, fine. But tonight, I'm going to fucking hear you say my name." He repeats himself with aggression, his fingers skims across your sensitive nub. "Who. Is. Fucking. You?"
You grip his shoulders, your eyes meeting his, and your core aches painfully. You try to grind yourself against him, trying to produce some friction of your own, but he uses both hands to grab your hips, stilling you in place with a deadly grip you are sure is going to leave a mark.
He shakes his head, firm on getting the answer out of you.
With teary eyes, you beg. "Please, Rafe. Please."
He grins with that self-satisfying charm. He loves it when you finally break your dominance. He loves it more when he can break you.
His thrust begins at a slow rate, still on the edge of punishment, but at least you can feel some friction producing between your legs. You look down at his cock entering and leaving your cunt, the image gratifying, but Rafe roughly grabs your chin and forces you to look back up.
"Look at me." He commands, his voice shallow as the slow thrust is killing him, but he needed to teach you a lesson. "I want you to remember this when you're looking at anyone else. Talking to any other fucking guy. Remember how I make you feel."
You nod frantically. Desperate at this point to say anything to get Rafe to move faster, harder, providing you with your climax. He sees it in your eyes, how he finally got you, that it makes him smile.Â
"God, look at you," he chuckles. "You want me to fuck you so bad."
"Yes," you beg, "yes, please. I'll do anything."
"Anything?" He asks again, the proposition is too nice to tease out.
You nod, blinking through the tears. "Anything."
He grins at this exchange of power, when he holds all of it, that he finally relents and quickens his pace. You grip harder on his shoulders as Rafe thrusts into you, rocking his hips against yours.
You claw and moan against his skin, using it as an anchor for all the pain and pleasure ripping through you, and he takes it as a mark of honor. When he lowers one hand between the two of you, using the pad of his thumb to rub small circles around your clit, you see stars float in your vision.Â
"I'm coming," you pant against his skin. "God, please, I'm coming."
Rafe's hand finds the back of your neck, pulling you closer to him, and nods. "Come for me, baby."
When you feel your orgasm hit its all-time high, you slump in exhaustion against his shoulders, while he continues to move in and out of you. It takes a few seconds later before Rafe comes, feeling his hot cum leaking out of you.
He doesnât remove his cock from your pussy and honestly, you donât want him to. You want to stay like this for a moment, to catch your breath and come to the dawning realization that this is the best sex of your life. You didnât want it to end.Â
Rafe lays his chin on your small shoulder, pushing your wet hair to the side as he recovers.Â
âBe my girl.â He whispers, so quiet, that you thought you imagined it. You weakly pull back, connecting your widened eyes with his.Â
"What?"
"Be my girl," he repeats once more, his blue eyes vulnerable and tracing your features to see if there's any hint of rejection on the bay. "I can't fucking stand you with other guys. I don't even want you to say their names. I want you. All of you."
You hesitate. "Rafe..."
"You said you'll do anything." He reminds you.
"You said you don't want to be seen with a Pogue."
He growls. "Fuck what I said," he snaps with a shake of his head, raising his hand to wipe the leftover tears from your face. "I want you. I donât care about anything else. Just say yes."
You look at him and soften your gaze. You have wanted this, you admit, you wanted him to confess to you that he wants you as much as you want him. But, for a moment, in this brief second, youâre afraid that if you agree you would submit to everything youâve fought against. The control you tried so hard to retain.Â
He sees it. He knows youâre having an internal battle. Using his hand, he cups the side of your face, the heat and comfort of his palm makes you instinctively lean into him. âPlease.â He begs softly, giving you one last shred of power.Â
With a small chuckle of your own, you finally nod. "Okay."
He grins, and without hesitation, presses another kiss against your lips. This time, it lacks the power and control you two have been fighting for all night but rather is sweet, sensitive and patient. He pushes you back against the mattress, using his arms to hold up his weight.Â
When he pulls apart, both of you are out of breath and breathing heavily. He offers you a genuine smile, at how proud he is that youâre his, and uses the pad of his thumb to rub across your flushed cheeks. âGod, youâre gorgeous.âÂ
You blush, waiting to pull away from his touch but Rafe knows you. He grabs a hold of your face, holding you in place so you canât tear your gaze from him. âIâm serious. Since youâre my girlfriend now, you have to get used to that or else people are going to assume I donât compliment you enough.âÂ
You scoff. âYou donât. The only times you say nice things to me is when youâre in me.âÂ
âYeah?â He challenges, cocking one of his brows. You nod. âThatâs going to change. Prepare for me to shower you with compliments every time I see you,â he says, as he lowers himself and plants a soft kiss on your shoulder blade. âEspecially when Iâm in you.âÂ
You roll your eyes, pushing him off as your eyes find the clock in the back of the wall. You didnât realize how late it was.Â
âFuck,â you mutter under your breath. Rafe turns to you, his brows knit together in confusion.Â
"What?"
"It's almost one am. I promised my parents I was going to go home at eleven."
He glances at the clock, before returning his gaze back to you. "Stay the night."
"What?"
"You said it would save you trouble, right?" You hesitantly nod. "Just stay the night."
You canât believe what youâre hearing. You canât believe how much heâs willing to give in now that youâre finally his. Maybe you shouldâve made him jealous a long time ago. Your first instinct is to tease him about it, but you decide that you had enough power play. The both of you deserve some rest and plus, sleeping with Rafe would be a comforting feel after the sex you just had.Â
When he comes to approach you, settling between your legs as he waits for an answer, you run your hands through his messy blond locks. âOkay.âÂ
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Inked Desires
Pairing: g!p Natasha x fem! Reader
Tags Minors DNI: smut, Natasha has a dick, also covered in tattoos w/ piercings, buff out of this world, she's hot okay, cunnilingus, handjobish, unprotected sex, breeding yup, alcohol at the beginning
A/N: I'm cheating and putting these two requests together, oops! This is my first time writing something like this, so please be gentle. Also, would really love some feedback on this so I know for the future to either write more like this or just tell me to stop now. Thanks so much for reading and thanks for the requests!! đ©”
Masterlist
~~~
"Here, take this!" Your friend says over the loud music, handing you another cup half filled with a mixture of liquor.
You don't question her and take the cup from her, drinking it down in only two gulps. Kate laughs and cheers as you do, doing the same with the cup she held.
By now, you were a few drinks in, and the house Kate had dragged you to was full of people. This definitely wasn't your type of scene, but as you danced among the bodies in the lowlit living room, you couldn't help but feel grateful she had.
As your hips move against your friend, she leans over to your ear. "She's staring at you again," Kate laughs, and your eyes move to the corner of the room.
There was the stranger of the night, a tall woman who stood out, whose green eyes had been watching your every move since you walked in the door. Her muscular arms were covered with art of all kinds, disappearing up into the sleeves of her shirt. She brought her red cup to her lips again, her face mostly hidden from the light.
Instead of replying, you only continue to dance, this time keeping eye contact with your stranger. The woman watches as your hips sway, your hands traveling your own body as you move to the music. It doesn't take long after that before she's finally striding across the room, standing a head taller than most of the crowd.
When she reaches you, you can finally see the rest of her gorgeous face. Above her sprightly green eyes, you noticed a piercing on her eyebrow, a few on her nose, and one on the bottom lip of the smirk she gave you. As she stands in front of you, you literally have to look up at her, and you realize she was much more toned up close.
"I'm just gonna grab another drink!" Kate raises her voice above the music for the two of you to hear.
"I'll catch up with you later!" You shout back to which she only laughs and shoots you a "Yeah, right," before walking off.
You turn your attention back to the stranger.
"Hi," she smiles.
"Hi," you reply curiously.
"I haven't seen you here before. What's your name?" She asks. Her eyes shamelessly roam the soft features of your face and the curves of your body.
"Y/N... this is my first time here. What's yours?" You ask with a blush on your cheeks. She tucks back her red hair behind one of her ears, revealing to you even more piercings.
You don't know if it's the alcohol or the feeling the stranger ignited in your chest, but you feel compelled to step forward and rest your hand on her muscular bicep. Your finger traces the tattoos that littered the skin there.
"Natasha," she says with a smile. "Wanna go upstairs?" A cock of her eyebrow with the piercing sticking out is enough to get you wet.
***
As soon as the door closes, the two of you are on each other, kissing feverishly. Her hands are under your shirt, touching your skin as she lifts you against the door. Your legs wrap around her hips, and you smile against her lips at how easily she lifted you. She was strong. You could feel her muscles under her tight shirt, squeezing you impossibly close.
But when her tongue slips past your lips, you gasp and pull away, a string of saliva pulling between your mouths.
"What's wrong? Do you need to stop?" She asks with a concerned expression. You look at her with wide eyes.
"No - no, I'm fine, it's just. Is your tongue...?" You didn't know how to ask. She chuckles and ducks her head before looking back at you. Natasha lets her tongue slide across her top lip, and it's then your suspicions are confirmed.
"Split, and yes... it will feel better," Natasha says in a cocky tone, her lips attaching to your neck as she carries you to the bed. You feel your back hit the soft mattress, and she lets go of you to remove your shirt.
"I want to see them all," you breathe out and run your finger over the skin on her arm. She smiles and pulls back, taking off her shirt to reveal she was completely covered. "They're beautiful..." You let your eyes take in the sight of the art, your hands tracing the dark lines and over the grooves of her abs. Natasha is a God.
As she continues to undress you, she kisses as much skin as she can, her lips soft and wet with every touch. When she gets to your breasts, you feel her tongue spread, taking your nipple between the two halves and sucking it.
"Oh- oh fuck," you moan out, suprised at the unfamiliar feeling and how good it felt. Natasha hums and lays you back, kissing down your stomach. When she spreads your legs she looks at you with hungry eyes, seeing how wet you already were.
"All this for me, baby?" She asks, letting a finger move up and down your wet folds. Your body shivers with anticipation. The way she looked at you, the way she looked, you were willing to let this stranger do absolutely anything to you.
"All for you.." You husk back, watching her split tongue wet her lips again.
Natasha kneels down at the edge of the bed and puts your legs over her shoulders, her hands grip your thighs tightly.
"How fucking lucky am I then?" She smirks up at you before placing soft, teasing kisses on your thighs.
You feel her mouth attach to your clit, and the heat in your stomach burns hotter. She licks up your slit, groaning as she tastes you.
"Fuck you taste so good," Natasha moans and let's her tongue lick up to your clit. She let's the two halves spread and rub against you. The new feeling makes you arch your back, your head thrown against the comforter.
"G-God Nat, that feels so good!" You moan and try to squeeze your thighs, but her grip kept your legs spread as she continued to eat you out. The sounds of her mouth against your wet pussy were the most sinful sounds you had ever heard, and the moans leaving your mouth were sounds nobody had ever elicited from you before.
She groans against you, the vibrations causing even more pleasure. "That's it baby," she says in between licks, "Want you to cum all over my face." Natashas tongue moves in two different ways, the coil in your lower stomach twisting up.
Your hands grip the comforter as she moves quicker, and the coil begins to unravel as you come undone
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," your back arches again and your legs tremble around her head as you let out a pornographic moan. Natasha hums agaisnt you as you come, her hands not flinching to hold your thighs apart.
She licks every drop, her tongue swirling around your sensative clit one more time before she lets go and stands up. "Come here," Natasha commands, and with a dizzy mind you sit up, trying to catch your breath. She bends down to take your jaw, kissing you rough and sloppily. You forces you to taste yourself, and her tongue pushes in your mouth, wrapping around your own tongue.
You can smell your own arousal on her face, feeling it wet your nose and lips. You blush, almost embarrassed with how wet this stranger made you.
"Now lets see how well you can ride my cock," Natasha chuckles and pulls back to remove her remaining clothes. Your eyes are settled on her breasts, unable to remove them from the piercings on her nipples. When you can pull yourself away from the sight of the silver metal against pink, you look down to see her remove her underwear. She was hard, painfully hard just from eating you out.
She tosses the boxers in the corner where other random clothes lay, and you gave her a curious look. "It's my room, don't worry. Didn't even know you were in my house, did you, love?" Natasha strides back to the bed and sits with her back against the headboard, pulling you closer to her.
"No, I didn't. I'm sorry... my friend kind of dragged me out tonight," you say with red cheeks, and she kisses you desperately.
"Thank God she did," Nat mumbles against your lips. She lets out a groan as your hand reaches between the two of you to lightly grip her cock, and you could feel how she was already throbbing for you. You begin to move your hand up and down slowly as the kiss turns sloppy, her tongue sliding yours between hers. Natasha revels in the feeling of her in your soft hand, your delicate fingers moving along the veins of erection.
"Shit - that feels so good," she moans into the kiss as your hand movements speed up. Your thumb swipes across the tip, precum dripping out already. You smile at the low moan that leaves her lips and continue to jerk her as you kiss. "I need you, please. Fuck I need to be inside you," she begs, and the sound of her begging was something you wanted to hear again. You take her lower lip between your teeth, sucking on the piercing before letting go with a 'pop'.
"I wanna ride you so bad, Nat.. I'm so wet for you," you whisper and let your kisses trail down to her sharp jaw. You feel her cock twitch in your hand as you speak and she grabs your wrist to stop your hand movements, panting as she does.
Natasha turns you around quickly, groaning at the sight of your ass as you straddle her lap and let her hands guide you onto her thick cock. You slide down slowly, letting out a moan when you feel her filling you up.
"Just relax baby, you're so fucking tight," she mumbles as she watches herself slowly disappear inside of you. She let's out a low moan as she feels your hot cunt swallow her, the back of head hitting the headboard when she feels your walls squeezing her. The feeling alone was enough for her mind to sever ties with reality, the only thought was you.
The sensation has that coil tightening inside of you again. You rest your hands on her toned thighs for support, relishing in the way her muscles flexed underneath your fingertips.
Natashas' hands continue to guide you, and after you had adjusted to her large size, you begin to grind yourself down on her lap.
"Just like that baby, fuck... feel so fucking good wrapped around my cock. You were just made to take me," she groans, her words only driving you to move your hips faster.
Her large hands move to your sides and up your body, groping your skin as she starts to move her hips up to meet yours. The two of you find a rythem together, and soon you find yourself willingly bouncing on her cock. Her hands moved to gather your hair, wrapping it into a fist in her right hand. She tugs on it and pulls your head back, a loud moan leaves your lips at the feeling.
"You like it when I'm rough with you, don't you?" She smirks, tugging your hair again.
"Yes - god, yes, Nat!" You whine as her lips find your neck. She bites down hard on your pulse point, surely leaving a mark, and leaves hot open-mouthed kisses along your skin.
"I know you do, you little slut. Fucking dripping on my cock. You feel how easy I slide in and out of you?" She says and with her left hand she grabs your jaw. "Answer me."
"I'm so wet, you make me so wet," you whine again, feeling her fingers move between your teeth. You suck hard as you look in her eyes, your tongue swirling around spit dripping down your chin. When you bite down, it surprises her, but she only chuckles darkly.
In a second, Natasha had let go of your hair and pushed you down face first onto the mattress. You gasp at the sudden emptiness, but soon after, she's lifting your hips and sliding into you again. Both of you moan at the feeling of how deep she goes.
"Christ, it doesn't matter how long I fuck you. You're just - so - fucking tight," she grunts in between words, her cock drilling you into oblivion. With every thrust you can hear the bedframe hitting the wall, and you can't help the pitiful noises that leave your mouth.
"Fuck I'm gonna cum," You rasp out. A sharp slap on your ass makes you whimper as you feel it begin to sting.
"No, shit, hold it in," Natasha warns. You feel the pressure of her body move on top of you. The piercings on her breasts rub against your back with each powerful thrust, and her arm moves underneath your neck to hold you tightly.
Natasha grunts in your ear as she pounds into you, letting out a moan when she feels your slick cunt tighten around her length. "I'm almost there, baby. Are you gonna be a good girl and come all over my cock?"
You nod the best you can in her tight grip, only able to get out a "Yes," in between gasps.
"You feel so good, Y/N. You want me to cum inside you? Fuck- I wanna fill up your tight little pussy so bad..." She groans against you and her words send you over the edge.
"Oh god, Nat! Please fill me up, please," you beg her, and just the thought of it is enough to let go. Your orgasm ripples through your body, sending shockwaves of pleasure to your core.
Natasha moans loudly as she feels you coating her cock with your cum, and she can no longer hold back. "Fuck- Y/N!" She groans and you whine as you feel her hot load spurting inside of you, her cock twitching as she slows her movements. "Take every.. last.. drop.." She pants as she thrusts a few more times.
The two of you stay like that for a while, her cock inside you as she stills above you. Your head rests against her arm as you attempt to catch your breath. When she removes herself slowly, and you wince at the soreness and empty feeling. Natasha lays next to you and you turn on your side to face her.
"Hi," she chuckles at the exhausted features on your face.
"You just fucked the life out of me and you're going to say... 'hi' ?" You laugh, suprised to see a blush on the strong womans cheeks as she laughs along with you. Your hand reaches out, resting on her stomach and tracing the lines of her tattoos again.
After the two of you clean yourselves up, you begin to dress yourself, feeling her eyes on you as you pull your shirt over your head.
"You don't have to go, you know. I'm not like that," she says gently, and you look up to see her pulling on a pair of jeans. You smile at her kind demeanor and walk over to her.
"I have to take my friend home," you say and lean up on your toes to kiss her cheek. She has to bend down for you to reach her lips, but she doesn't complain.
"Well, maybe I can take you out sometime," Natasha smirks and rests her hands on your waist. You nod as you look up to her.
"I would love that.." You reply honestly, wanting nothing more than to get to know her and count the endless tattoos that cover her body.
#marvel#natasha romanoff#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha x you#natasha x reader#g!p natasha#g!p natasha x reader#natasha x fem!reader#buff natasha
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