#who had to deal with their behavior
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"sounds nice... having a partner"
#the walking dead game#twdg#violentine#clementine twdg#violet twdg#MAANN when clem says this in s3 JUST WAIT BBY#people who say clemvi has no basis like ep2 isnt just them working as a team for 2 and a half hours regardless of player choice#like be fr#clem telling louis that violet patching up the back wall is ok because she needed something to keep herself busy. married behavior#vi asking clem to help check in on everyone while she deals with the wall. their shared smile when she comes back outside :)#and then they sit in the leadership spot together overlooking the yard and everything theyve planned together coming to fruition :)#sorry i just think their romance set up in eps 1 and 2 is obvious as FUCK and im tired of (Some) people pretending it isnt#'i havent seen her warm up to someone in a long time' brody literally tells clem that vi seems to like her after its been 24 hours#after shes been a block of ice for a whole year. and clem just melted those walls down immediately while they fought walkers together#violet is so devoted to clem post ep1 its embarrassing for her#'i saw she had you pinned and i- shit i got So crazy...' sorry if you dont think shes in love with clem idk what to tell you#'i'll tear that boat apart before we leave without you' i know you would girlie!!!#the animators went CRAAZAYAYAYAY the way they look at each other... their little smiles at each other....even before the belltower#the way clem looks at her while they dance.... the way she puts her head down on her shoulder so contentedly....#and then she keeps her head on violets shoulder as she pulls away so clems chin gets dragged with it like she doesnt want to let go#'so you never forget that night' 'i never will' they are DISGUSTINGLY in love with each other it makes me physically ill#its 2024 and im still hearing 'i just didnt see it :/'. lazerbeams you#spaced art 2024
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Hm. Just had a rather terrible thought.
We can all agree that in the beginning of their deal, Stolas treated Biltz in a way that was... very condescending and degrading, right? You could even say dehumanizing (de-demonizing?).
We also know that Stolas is very inexperienced in sex and sexual behaviors. He is very new to exploring it all, even if he seems to have some theoretical knowledge of it.
Most likely the only other sexual partner Stolas had before Blitz was Stella. And we know from the way Stella described it that it wasn't... a pleasant experience to Stolas, to say the least. ("He laid there, just staring at the ceiling" anyone???)
Stella is also most likely the only person Stolas ever had a romantic relationship with. And we all know how that was like. She disliked him and insulted him on daily basics. She probably never wanted to be with him, just like he never wanted to be with her.
So the only true experiences Stolas had with anything related to romantic relationship was with Stella, a person who treated him horribly and who was forced into that relationship and probably resented it.
So like. I wonder if Stolas, a person who had zero experiences with sex and relationships that wasn't terrible, unconsciously copied some of the behaviors that Stella showed him, in his relationship with Blitz. Because it was the only thing he had to base his understanding how sex and relationships worked like. He was unconsciously copying the harmful behaviors Stella showed him because it was the only thing he knew.
#idk it might be just me but like#stella's description of how the sex she had with stolas looked like still gives me heebie jeebies#and people who's been abused sometimes can copy the behaviors of their abusers bc of how they rationalize their actions as not abuse#and have to work on realizing that those actions are harmful and them doing it to others is harmful as well#as stolas did after the end of season 1 when he realized how his actions affected blitz and how wrong their deal was#helluva boss#stolas#stolitz#hb#hb stolas#helluva stolas#helluva boss stolas#helluva boss meta#gin posts helluva boss
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Grinds my teeth to dust…. i wish touch didnt have so many Implications. im just trying to survive out here
#after all this i need a cuddle and a movie But who do i ask withoit them thinking im coming on to them#i need to paint a giant doomsday-guy-on-the-street-corner style sign to wear around my neck that says I AM AROMANTIC ASEXUAL#born to hug and kiss all my friends forced to stand around hands in my pockets#im scared to death of people misinterpreting my behavior or feeling uncomfortable#od be so much more relaxed like at a core of my being level if this was a nonissue#dude im desperate i might just ask the guy i almost fell asleep on tje otjet night#the ice is broken and he already knows my deal#(fantasizing about snuggling with people i like) im so fucked up ….#it’s also made way worse by tje fact that I apparently come off as very flirtatious#im playful and i love people Sorry …..#im like All or Nothing . oh my god lol#i had a friend who called me her ‘koala’ because i was constantly clinging to her#we were 7 so it was socially acceptable#99% of the time we were together i was wrapped around her legs or torso. i miss you so much sybil#the start of the end was when i innocently restrd my chin on my friend’s shoulder to watch what he was doing#and the next day someone asked me why i did that#i was like huh…? he’s my friend?#why wouldn’t i?#then i felt all weird about it And ive felt weird about it sincd#unrelated but my best friend is autistic she has misophonia and hates touch But im the misopjonia exception(real thing) AND#i’m one of the only people she hugs. straight up my biggest flex ever
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havent seen this take in a while thankfully but it popped up in my head and i wanna post this anyways. i think everyone who talks about how siffrin “got off too easy” at the end of isat and his friends should have abandoned him should go read warrior cats if they want an example of a character using their trauma as their god-given jailbreak card to treat their family and peers (a good amount of whom who were completely innocent) like dogshit, and who faces zero consequences from the narrative for it (and in fact bends over to blame their peers). like read all the shit jayfeather does while the narrative sobs over how tragic but awesome and quirky he is and then look me in the eye and tell me siffrin’s ending was poorly written.
#or look at titania from reborn. what who said that#at least siffrin’s trauma is actually developed and taken deadly seriously by the narrative and clearly isnt being used to excuse his behav#behavior#siffrin does some shitty things in the story but theyre very obviously in a horrible state mentally and physically thats been breaking them#down little by little by little until theyve exploded and broken down. and his family still holds him accountable for what he did#but they stay with him anyways because they love and respect and care about him and are horrified to learn his situation#meanwhile ivypool goes through trauma yeah but shes not really written like a realistic trauma victim#and when she hurts her sister over and over and over and over and over again its always her sister who has to make it up at the end#and we all gotta sob and coo over ivy because shes the fan favoriteand if you criticize her then you hate trauma victims#(ignoring dovewing’s trauma from the situation as well i might add)#while ivy never gets to grow or acknowledge how her attitude is hurtful to herself and others#its just ‘’well dovewing had it better so she better shut the fuck up and deal with the constant emotional abuse ivy throws at her’’#imagine if isat ended with siffrin going ‘’actually im not sorry bc you all havent suffered as much as me’’#and the party didnt object to that at all and they were like ‘’yes we do have it better so youre justified in hurting us#and also you are the most tragic character ever so you cant face emotional consequences ever’’#(and before anyone goes ‘’well dovewing left the clan and ivypool feels bad about that’’ the story doesnt position it as a consequence of#her behavior to her sister. canonically shes leaving to be with her baby daddy and SHES framed as the one hurting her sister#and shes the one whos gotta mend that rift. while the narrative doesnt acknowledge that that situation was partly her sisters fault at all#)#ok sorry for wc on main jumpscare. i wouldve posted over on the blog but i dont think people over there have played isat#echoed voice#isat spoilers
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honestly wally is stronger than atlas. if i had to constantly calibrate to the nature of my reality w/ full consciousness i would simply lose my fucking mind
#like babies dont Think while they learn how to exist#imagine straight up spawning fully aware and then everyone else is up to speed but youre standing there like#🧍♂️uh. hello. what is everything. what is this. huh????#LIKE???? i feel so bad for him. dude got dropped right into the middle of the ocean and was told 'learn to swim'#and hes trying. but he doesnt know what drowning is so he cant sink either#i mean i get it at least a little bit! its the Autism Experience but w/ him the dial is cranked up to a thousand#you dont know what you dont know but life goes on like you should. fuck#wally i am mentally beaming you a thousand apples grown in the shape of hearts#i believe in you dude you'll figure it out#well. im probably beaming apples into the past if the time discrepancy is real but yk yk#cause if it is then Current Wally probably has a solid handle on things. from a basic standpoint#in a wider lens i am led to believe that he is Scrabbling#is this speculation???#i think it counts.#wh speculation#homebogging#whenever i think about the tidbits we know - ex: wally learning about differences in size#internally i start howling. wally is just constantly dealing with things that would drive a person insane if they had to live it#how is he not Exhausted... it's all so much for someone who knows whats going on let alone someone scrambling to catch up#at least the other neighbors dont have to deal with memorizing physics and skills and behavior#and just Literally Everything That Comes With Being Alive#wally is a blank slate left to write itself.#ough. damn. fuck. i think i need to go stare into the woods for a bit...
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Sango felt kind of sad to me in the new ep. In a way, it reminded me of Amethio who had no one to protect him against Rayquaza in HZ033 (compared to Liko and Roy who had adults looking out for them).
Similarly here, Sango wasn't taught anything about cooking or baking at all, in comparison to Liko who was taught how to make sweets by Murdock (and knowing him, he was probably really patient when teaching her). Sango had no one to cheer on her and she seemed confused about kitchen tools so she probably was never taught by anyone about things like this. Still, I felt like she actually had an idea in mind when she tried to make her cake because the ice sculpture she made out of it resembled the Pokemon she has on her school bag? (Namakobushi, I think) So she was trying to do something specific but she failed and she was just frustrated about not knowing how to do it. I really wonder if that's the first time something like this happened for her..
#i feel like they keep highlighting how liko and the others have a good support system vs the explorers who don't seem to#the contrast between liko who had people watching her and supporting her when she made the cake#vs sango who was alone and didn't have help but still tried to do something#the situation and her outburst didn't come off as a gag to me but felt pretty serious#she was still upset when she left and she blamed her pkmn for not helping but she still called onigohri back in the pokeball etc#i really wonder why sango is like that and if there are underlying reasons for her behavior#feels like she can't regulate her emotions and easily gets worked up until they hit a boiling point#she gives me the feel of being categorized as a 'problem' so maybe no one wanted to deal with her bc of her explosive personality?#hope we learn more about her this chapter#hz047#sango#character notes#episode notes
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.❤️
#last thing i’m going to say about this but the amount of people i’ve had to block for being cruel is upsetting#he was still a person who was apart of a band that brought so many people joy esp in their formative years#people are allowed to mourn that loss and they don’t need you saying they’re annoying or supporting abusers#he did do horrible things and my heart goes out to maya and all that she’ll have to deal with now#it really sucks there will never be closure and he won’t be able to make any type of amends#you can mourn the death of someone who was apart of your life for so long without excusing their behavior
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Supporting autistic ppl is accommodating and helping people across the spectrum, high and low functioning, not “I’ll support them unless it’s something that actually inconveniences me or makes me uncomfortable.”
It’s always about advocating and helping autistic ppl until they struggle in social settings or are homeschooled, then they’re irredeemable freaks apparently. And god forbid they’re high functioning. You do not get to pick and choose who to support on the spectrum.
#rant#vent ish#autism#actually autistic#The “days I haven’t had to deal with gatekeeping from neurotypical people” board has been marked back to zero#If you’re high functioning you’re a freak and if you’re POC you just have “behavioral issues”-#-in the eyes of people who claim to support autistic people for brownie points
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actually maybe its kind of weird to expect transmascs to immediately start saying transmisogynist shit when presented with a useful transmasc resource. im not saying there arent shitheads like that out there, there are shitheads of all stripes on the internet and some of those stripes are transmisogynist trans people, but pre-emptively going on the defensive on a post that contains nothing except resources for DIY is maybe a little telling about your assumptions of how transmascs act
#spitblaze says things#i would also like to make it clear that my thoughts here are not stronger than a 'hm.'#i will not bemoan transfems who have had issues with transmascs in the past and deal with present transmisogyny#it just feels very like.#what if i made a post with resources on feminizing hormones and then was like#'transfems in the notes dont get weird about how transmascs are taking up too many resources (or whatever) dont be weird'#i think we would all agree that its even weirder that i felt like i had to say that in the first place on a post that is otherwise#nothing but useful to transfems. and probably patronizing. and more than a bit insulting that id assume that kind of behavior#anyway this is about One Specific Post and One Specific person not like. a widespread pattern or anything#im not sure why you're providing transmasc resources when most of your posts that even mention them are complaining about them
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sometimes I feel guilty for disliking my parents, or moreso how they acted when I was a kid sometimes. because nowadays they're great. they're absolutely fine. so it would be ungrateful to say they're bad parents? they spoiled me as a kid if anything, they kept me safe and all that too.
but at the same time, them being good now doesn't change the fact that I needed them to be good when I was still growing. it helps nothing for them to be good parents now that I'm an adult and already fucked up from them. it changes nothing that they were slightly traumatizing when I was still developing and growing as a child
#mine#childhood trauma#parental abuse#I've recovered from most of those trauma symptoms I developed#or well... at least I cry and feel less dread when someone raises their voice nowadays#cry less*#I'm still an overly timid people pleaser with no self respect#who's too afraid to do anything to ever upset people even if it means ignoring my own comfort#because that's just what worked best as a kid#fighting back and getting upset just made things worse#doing things wrong would always instigate something#so I just learned to do things perfectly#and to accept what's dished out to me without making a fuss#I don't know if this behavior will be healthy in adult life though...#it has served me well through childhood but will it serve me in the workforce?#if things had been the opposite#if they had acted the way they do now when I was young#and been terrible now instead. maybe I'd be able to deal with them healthily?#maybe my entire personality would be different#not sure where I'm going with this#but I'm just wondering who I could've been if they had been a little nicer or a little calmer about things
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If it’s one thing Winter and Jacin would be after the war or in like any AU is just INSUFFERABLY SWEET WITH COMPLIMENTING EACH OTHER IN PUBLIC.
Like you’re just walking past this random couple and you hear “Jacin, you are the completion of my soul the very substance that makes up my spirit and blood that keeps me alive.” And then “Winter, you are the very apex of perfection in every way shape and form and you are my entire reason for being and without you I’d be like a tether drifting into the void.” Then they just walk into Costco yk
Like they’d be horrible to be around especially as like someone who is single and that’s why I love them like they’re concocting epic poetry on the daily cuz that’s how they feel about each other while you cry into an empty ice cream pan-
#the lunar chronicles#jacinter#tlc#jacin clay#winter#white boy can i rock your world chocolate and vanilla swirl#this behavior especially annoys scarlet who had to deal with winter being like this on luna for weeks and now has to see it doubled#they’re so special to me#thorne also gets pissed cuz jacin will tell him to fuck off and die right after saying the heaven’s monologue to winter
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Oh, poor thang!
#moe tag#sorry i won't shut up about it but you gotta understand. this is the most eventful thing that's happened in like months#also i just really wanna apply what i learned about it to moe. torture the creature some more#BUT ALSO... LIKE..... i think about writing refs and health/safety refs and also best practice#ESP when treating a patient or being a caretaker all the time.#before the disability disabled me LMFAO i really wanted to go into working to help people w disabilities#i was so high masking and 'functional' (but like. still very much on the spectrum) that i had each foot in both worlds kinda#i wasn't exactly sure what line of work but i very much wanted to give back the way the people who believed in me did.#esp as a kid. i had so many behavioral issues. teachers actively dreaded and feared having to deal w me.#the few and far between teachers/social workers who saw me though. believed in me. treated me kindly. stuck forever#unfortunately i really don't think i'm cut out for that line of work esp after covid changed The Vibes of everything lmfao#i would love to give hope in a hopeless world. but i fear i've slipped through the cracks.#my art
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I alluded to this in tags awhile ago but like. IK continuity doesn’t work this way and when things shifted from kooky and silly 40s stuff with psas scattered to like dark brooding whatever we’re supposed to take it as like either time passing with some hand waving to personalities or ‘it was always like this for them trust’ but thinking about dick specifically going from holy galloping grasshoppers Batman to dealing with Bruce in spyral and shit is so so so sad I can’t articulate it well rn but like everyone kinda agrees the shift happened after two face and jason but like no dick saw it all he saw it while it happened he saw Bruce taking tim to baseball games and then gaslighting him at 16 he saw the man who’d take care of a random baby on the fly threaten to send his youngest son back to the league he saw the man who helped usher in a new era of young heroes treat Steph like shit he saw the man who inspired hope for a future in civilians heroes and enemies alike take advantage of cass’ suicidal thoughts and separation from her own humanity he saw everything and he just has to. Deal. To everyone else this is just Bruce and ppl like Tim and cass justify it to an extent bc they love him and get exasperated and when Dick is angry but how couldn’t Dick be angry? That’s his dad and he’s being so fucking mean and idk I’m rambling
#i promise this is better thought out on the daily Im so so tired rn autocorrect is saving me#and It’s like the lighthearted era of the 40s smacking someone across the face into shit like throwing him into Jason’s memorial#like It’s not even whiplash bc it’s always happened it’s just. aaruhdsjak#and this is why I hate the entire thing where Bruce does nothing and it’s ALL terrible writing like#they had Superman doing corporal punishment bro idk#and not saying that’s good or necessary today I’m just saying unfortunately for Bruce Stans literally everyone is shaped by his behavior#It’s why they’re so fucked to eachother too#like the reason perfect dad bruce who’s only issue is miscommunication is annoying bc u#sets up every following issue tk ve of the same vein#he and Jason DONT have genuine morality clashes that usually end up violent and beLetha#near lethal bc they’re both secure in their own righteousness#It’s ‘they need to talk and Jason needs to call alfie and gl#go to Sunday brunch and Bruce needs to be okay with killing the really really bad ppl :(‘#like no bro sorry they’re not as wishy washy as u 🙄#that’s a joke#Im not saying bruxe should hit his kids I’m just saying when he does it’s not automatically the writer doesn’t know him#they might know him all too well actually#also it’s just the way it’s framed for me sorry I think Conflict is interesting#so bruce growing up (at 60 lmao) and dick just having to deal with it is sooo#like idk IK dc is trying to happy family Damian and Bruce rn but to me Bruce DID get somewhat better but Damian can’t ades#address tough shit without feeling luke he’s dragging it and rlly he should be grateful they’re turning a blind eye tk his mistakes so he#goes along with it#pretend the soulless ‘i hate you bc I’m insecure and secretly think ur my favorite Drake!’ is actually#‘i know the role I need to play in order to keep things smooth and if u#i talk to any of you genuinely I’ll explode and also you’ll hate me and also I think I’ll hate you I think I already do so’#that’s my coping#and thats for me personally like this entire post Is how I personally like to see it#i like happy go lucky batfam in microdoses except WFA y will not be forgiven for what u did to Duke#also for the og post I have a whole thing about how Bruce’s attempt to separate the man and the mask causes him to do crazy shit to his kids#but diff time THATS just how I get my middle between incorrect quotes bruce and dudebro bruce tbh
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Just sent the most annoying person an email sharing an observation that I was recently reflecting on after not talking to him in over a year
@local-lover-boy
#This is the guy I cussed out in history class and the teacher was like ‘yeah seems like he deserved that’#I was nice kind and respectful#I didn’t tell him that he was an annoying bitch repressing his bisexuality and also an ableist asshole with no self respect#And a large amount of parental issues that he opts to ignore and treat everything with apathy as though it’s a joke#Instead of dealing with his childhood trauma#Like boy took note of the fact that I was clearly struggling with sh and bought me fucking scissors#No I kindly told what I thought could be contributing to some of his behavior based on my research on the specific thing#And the variance in it’s symptoms#Anyway we were what I would call‘almost friends’ because I had(have?) this habit where I surround myself with people who tear me down#And worsen my mental state#Thanks a lot to my own unresolved familial traumas
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i just don’t understand. why say ur ready to talk if you aren’t?
can u believe this post is what got me to reach tag limit
#vaugepostimg on main about an irl don’t mind me#i just. am feeling sad bcus i have been trying to keep my distance and respect the space they said they needed. and then they reached out to#me for their book club and said we should chat and i got excited! i miss my friend of course i got excited#still let them take the lead. i want them to be comfortable. they said they’d lmk what day they were free#and then proceeded to ghost me for like. almost two weeks??#(it was 10 days but !!! still!!! almost 2 weeks from them suggesting i come to book club which would’ve inherently necessitated an irl talk#and then after all that yesterday said they actually weren’t ready which. hurted#tbf i knew something was up after like 2 days of them not replying so it’s not like i was fully caught off guard it just really hurt#and like i feel weird bcus our social circles are really overlapped and i spent a lot of time with them last winter and i had thought#that would happen again this winter. we would swim together a lot and i consistently went to their house dinners#bcus if i care about you i show up! and i’m understanding ! bcus i am patient and kind person and as a triple taurus i’m not tryna rush ever#especially when it comes to people’s emotions ??? especially if someone has told me i hurt them???? like ik im an autistic lesbian but#despite popular conceptions on that particular identity. im not fucking evil ????? if you ask for space i will give you space !!!!!#and like when it comes to emotions and conflict i’m blunt but i’m caring and it takes a lot for me to be disinfranchised by people#or relationships. so i’m not saying i don’t want to still be her friend#i’m just. noticing behaviors#they did tell me that they were very avoidant in conflict and i told them i’m very much not and like. now that i’m on the receiving end of i#idk what to do!! i’m not gonna chase her down like they’re grown!! and again!!! if you ask for space i’m going to respect that!!!#and like honestly. i’m happy she at least gave me the curtesy of saying they weren’t ready to talk even if it took her mad long to do it#so like. who tf knows when we’ll talk. if ever. probably when she wants the validation of our friendship if it even happens at all#bcus again. she reached out not to reconnect and clear the air but to check if i still wanted to come to her club she was starting#ik in earlier conversations she was worried no one would come but ig she found people. which like good for her tbh but to be honest i feel#discarded?? i’m feeling like i’m failing to not project too much so i gotta stop but idk man i’m just feeling weird about it all#and then i had the thought today of like. is this what i want in a friendship? someone who goes back and forth abt whether or not i’m worth#which again. kinda wasn’t expecting that bcus we spent so much time together last autumn/winter/spring like. many times per week!!!#so the idea of not being her friend all of a sudden?? feels fucjing weird to think about#but like? i don’t want to feel this way this is what i hate about west coast/white people conflict resolution!! there fucking isn’t any!!!#and i can’t deal with that! i can’t spend my life with people who aren’t going to engage with me as a person who cares about them#humans are fallible creatures and were only here on earth for so long so why are we wasting time here? what is the point of all this ???????#but then the guilt and shame say i deserve it all and at that point i just need to stop so. i’m gonna stop now lol
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one of the things i find funny now with my past shitty dnd experience is the fact that the problem player only seemed to really care about their own character, and whenever they drew dnd art it would look like this:
#theres a lot of things i find funny whenever i think back on it#its fun to clown on them even tho back then i had so much grief#i dont really like to reminisce on the shitty things that happened but its fun to laugh at how stupid it was#i AM kinda dunkin on their art but its bc they were like 'OGHH I LOVE ALL THE CHARACTERS' but then showed close to no interest in other pcs#they literally treated it like their character was the Main Character and was the center of the world#it was very reflective in their art.#other things i find funny: how they obviously cheated their rolls#they averaged ... 18 i think?#meanwhile the second highest was 15 and everyone else was within 2 points lower of that#and also their infamous '...for what exactly?' question when they questioned me 'getting in the way' of their rp#even tho i was rping my character and having them stop their pc from doin things due to clash of motives#also. i was a text rper. LMAO#ITS JUST SO FUCKING FUNNY LIKE WDYM 'FOR WHAT EXACTLY' LMFAOAOAOAOOO THEYRE THEIR OWN PERSON WITH THEIR OWN MOTIVES.#skypeaks#im so glad i dont feel shitty abt it anymore. its just so fucking stupid#like yeah it affected me but now im WELL past the point of being mad abt it its just. Funny.#on that note tho i hope that whomever this person has hurt can heal as well. bc im sure those other people have had to deal with WORSE imo#i think all things considered i didnt have it that bad. i just had a small taste of their shitty behavior#EDIT: i might make more small doodles with this experience. its just funny to recall so who knows
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