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Wouldn't it be nice
Part four
Summary: A dinner at your place leaves you and Harry talk through things before... things heat up.
Pairing: Harry Castillo x fem. reader
Rating: T
Wordcount: 2.3k
Warnings: (for this chapter; check overall warnings for this series in the Masterlist ) dinner date, food, talking, idiots in love, some making out, feelings, fluff
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Main Masterlist // Harry Castillo Masterlist // Wouldn’t it be nice Masterlist
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Emily was so exhausted from her day at the daycare, that she went to bed without much fuss. You made her a quick dinner (spinach omelette, she’s big on breakfast foods for dinner), gave her a quick bath and it didn’t even take a whole story for you to read to have her asleep in her little pink bed. 
Closing the curtains before you got out of her room you quietly closed her door after making sure her night light was on. 
Outside of her room you leaned against the door, sighing, your shoulders dropping. 
A quick look at the clock told you that Harry would be here in the next 45 minutes. 
You used the time you got home after work to tidy a little, Emily being a big help with filling your new bookcase with all the books you had shipped here from home. 
It was a small apartment. 
A small that hallway only had four doors. 
Emily’s room.
The bathroom.
The living room with a small open kitchen.
And your room.
The room you were standing in in now, trying to decide what to wear. Which was…. Stupid. Harry pretty much had seen (and touched and licked) every inch of you. Well before you had a baby. But… you wanted to look pretty. 
Hearing that he fell in love with you did something to you. 
This man, who could have everything and everyone he wanted, he fell in love with you. But that was three years ago. And he fell for a version of you that wasn’t real. You looked at your face in the mirror, small lines around the corners of your eyes that hadn’t been there before. 
You looked different, older. 
Exhausted. 
Could he really love you?
Shaking your head you took a deep breath before you pulled one of your favourite sweater dresses over your head. Giving yourself one last look in the mirror you walked out of you room, closing the door behind yourself. 
You walked into the small kitchen, putting the dishes from the small dinner you had thrown together for Emily into the dishwasher before you wiped down the counters. It almost looked homey.
Lighting one of the big scented candles you had indulged on before you moved you hummed to yourself. You didn’t have a dining table or area. There were four chairs at the kitchen island that separated kitchen from living space, so this would have to do. 
Would that be okay?
He was probably used to a different setting. You wondered how Harry lived.
Did he have a townhouse? One of those brownstones you saw on sex and the city?
Or was he more of a apartment type of guy? A penthouse maybe?
You never really thought about it. 
Your thoughts were interrupted by a notification on your phone. 
Harry texted you he was here. 
Suddenly your nerves were back. Your fingers brushing down the fabric of your dress after you buzzed him in. 
This was Harry. 
Harry, who loved to talk about how he grew up outside of Washington.
Harry, who watched Pride and Prejudice with you at 2 am in a dark hotel room in literal paradise while he held you in his arms. 
Harry, who had kissed you in a way you have never been kissed before or after him. 
There was a knock on the door and you took a deep breath before your hand reached for the door handle, twisting it to open it. 
And there he was.
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„You’re nervous,“ Harry had put his phone on speaker as he stood in the big walk in closet of his penthouse. He had prepared everything. 
He had ordered food (he ordered at Rezdôra, who usually did not do take away but dropping his name had helped) that he would pick up on his way. 
He had ordered flowers (red peonies for you, daisies for Emily) that were already waiting downstairs with his doorman if the notification on his phone was correct. 
All he had to do now was get dressed and be on his way. 
„Fuck yes I’m nervous. It’s not everyday that you get to have dinner with the woman you fell in love with on an island, only to not see her for three years, and when you do you find out she had your baby and all without you knowing,“ he said, gripping the bridge of his nose. 
He heard his sister sigh on the other end of the line. 
„Just put some jeans and a sweater on and be on your way,“ she said and Harry rolled his eyes. 
„Very helpful, thank you,“ he grumbled and Sarah laughed. 
„That’s what I am. Helpful. But in all seriousness. Just use tonight to talk. I know you’re halfway on your way to buy a ring for her, but keep in mind that there is a little girl that probably has no idea who you are. Even if she’s as smitten with you as you are with her, it’ll take time,“ she reminded him gently while he put his sweater on. 
„I know,“ he said with a sigh. He reached for his watch, slipping it over his wrist.
„Just… relax. Have a dinner. Get reacquainted with each other and… use protection,“ she added and he shook his head with a laugh. 
„Remind me to be just as helpful as you are right now when you meet someone,“ he picked his phone up, taking one last look at himself in the mirror, before he walked out towards the elevator that would take him down to his car. 
„I would, but I will never date anyone ever again, so I’m good,“ she teased back. 
„Yeah, Yeah,“ he shook his head, putting his coat on. 
„Good luck big brother,“ she said softly and he found himself smiling as the elevator opened and he stepped in. 
„Thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow,“ and with that he ended the call. 
Driving through New York City would never be one of his favourite things, but he didn’t want anyone to know about you yet, so he chose to drive himself instead of calling his driver. With the Flowers and the food he had picked up from the restaurant he drove through the traffic of this city, before his navigation finally told him that he reached his destination. 
After finding a parking space he got out of the car, looking up at the old building. 
Not the best neighbourhood, but also not the worst. He got the food and the flowers out of the car and made his way towards the house. Texting you when he was at the door he only had to wait for a minute before he was buzzed in. 
He took note of the very secure front door, as he made his way inside, taking the stairs up to the second floor where your apartment was. 
You were there, just behind the door. 
You, who knew a side of him he hadn’t shown anyone in a long time. 
You, who fed him all the green M&M’s because he insisted they were his favourite. 
You, who made a small noise every time he kissed you that he was still dreaming about. 
When he finally was in front of your door he took a deep breath before he raised his hand to knock, a big smile sneaking to his face when you opened. 
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The flower arrangement he brought was so big it almost didn’t fit on your coffee table. 
Beautiful big red carnations sat on your table, and a smaller arrangement of daisies just for Emily that she would get tomorrow. That he even thought of getting her flowers too…
He insisted on serving the dinner he brought, so he asked you where everything was and made you sit at the kitchen island, where you were currently watching him, his back towards you as he plated the food he brought. Your head was resting on your hand was you watched him, your brain still processing that he was really here. 
In your apartment. 
„I remember you liked pasta, so I hope this is okay,“ he said, looking at you over his shoulder. You just nodded. He turned around and reached for the bottle of wine he had brought, opening it with expert hands. You didn’t have wine glasses yet, so he winked at you when he filled your mismatched mugs with red wine. 
„More than okay,“ you said and he smiled before handing you first a mug of wine, and then sat down a beautiful plated portion of pasta in front of you. 
He rounded the small island and sat down next to you with his own plate. 
„Thank you, for this,“ you said and he angled his body towards you so he could look at you. 
He was so close, and for the fist time in three years you smelled it, his scent. The aftershave you had forgotten the name of familiar to you. 
His eyes were lingering on your lips before he looked up into your eyes again. 
„We should eat,“ he whispered and for a moment you were disappointed, wondering if he wanted to say something different instead. So you smiled.
„It smells delicious,“ you said as you picked up your fork. 
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You talked throughout dinner. 
About everything and nothing and it was as if no time had passed at all. It was just like you were back in those four walls of your hotel room. The awkwardness was gone as you updated each other about what had happened in your life in the last couple of years. 
The bottle of wine was almost empty when you made your way to the couch, wanting to be more comfortable. 
„I think,“ he said after you sat down, „that if you had kept my number after you left, we would have made it work.“
„You think?“ You whispered and he nodded. 
„You would have moved to the middle of nowhere if I had asked you?“ You asked him and he nodded. 
„I would have. I only wanted to be with you. I have… I have never felt so… intensely for someone that I did, I do, for you,“ he confessed and you lips parted as you took a breath. 
„But the version of me you fell in love with… I don’t know if she was real,“ you said and he frowned. 
„What do you mean?“
„I mean… The confident woman that just took what she wanted, that didn’t think about tomorrow, that’s not me. I am an over thinker, I am a perfectionist and a control freak. I am so much more complicated than the version you met…“ you shook your head.
Harry just kept looking at you before he took your hand. 
„The woman I met and fell in love with, is the woman who talked in her sleep. It’s the woman who made sure that the room was tidied up so housekeeping didn’t have to much to do. It’s the woman who made sure to ask if their was garlic in every single meal we had because I told her that I was allergic. We spent days together. I know you. And I love you,“ he said and you just looked at him, speechless. 
And before you could talk yourself out of it you crossed the distance between the two of you and kissed him. Your arms wrapping around his neck and he wasted no time, pulling you towards him, onto his lap as he deepened the kiss, one of his hands on the back of your neck. 
You sighed against his lips and he groaned, lips moving against yours, his tongue slipping against your lips until you parted them for him. Your hands were in his hair, your eyes closed as you allowed yourself to let go. To melt against this man you had spent three years secretly yearning for. 
Slowly, his hand ran down your back, pulling you even closer and you moaned when you felt him beneath you, his cock getting hard. 
„Oh fuck," you gasped, parting from his lips and he wasted no time kissing himself down your throat as you crossed your arms behind his neck. 
„Fuck, that smell. I missed that smell,“ his nose ran over your throat as he took a deep breath. You pulled his head back up, kissing him again, unintentionally moving on top of him and he groaned against your lips. 
„Shit. We gotta.. Fuck I can’t believe I’m saying this, we gotta stop,“ he said and you parted form his lips. You both looked at each other, lips kiss swollen, his hair a mess from the way you had been running your hands though it. 
He never looked better. 
„You’re… you’re right. This… We can’t. I’m so…“ you mumbled, suddenly embarrassed but he kissed you again, stopping you. 
„We need to stop because I don’t wanna fuck you like this. I wanna take my time. And I want to know where we stand. Cause I don’t think I’ll be able to let go of you ever again if we continue this,“ he said and your shoulders fell. 
He wrapped both of his arms around you and let himself slowly lean against the couch, taking you with him, your head resting on his chest. 
You just laid there like this, enjoying the silence that was never uncomfortable. 
He cleared his throat after a while. 
„Tell me about her,“ he whispered and you smiled before you began to tell him about his daughter. 
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alive-gh0st · 13 hours ago
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❝Hearts Don’t Miss❞
Omni!Mark Grayson x Cupid!Reader➶
•♡🤍♡🤍♡🤍♡˚₊‧ ꒰ა 💗 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚♡🤍♡🤍♡🤍♡•
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
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❤︎ summary: after defying a divine directive and choosing mercy over order, you—a cupid built not to feel—fall from the realm and crash into a world you don’t belong to. wingless and exiled, you land on a planet bruised by war, grief, and something worse: apathy. but one figure watches your descent. he’s not a hero. not a god. just a man turned monster, carrying the weight of a planet he helped destroy. you were made to spark love. he was made to conquer. so why can’t he walk away?
❤︎ contains: sfw. celestial mythology. lonely immortals. slow-burn dynamics. post-war emotional fallout. deconstruction of love as a weapon/tool. and a wingless cupid with a cracked heart and a crooked smile.
❤︎ warnings: emotional manipulation (brief). themes of exile and identity loss. canon-typical violence references (omni-mark’s past). light blood/injury mentions. quiet existential grief. soft heartbreak. and the inconvenient ache of wanting to be wanted.
‪❤︎ wc: 4454
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌a/n: i wanted to write something aching. something soft and sharp and too pink in all the wrong places. this is my love letter to the ones who were built to help others but never expected to be helped. to the hopeless romantics. to the heartsworn. if you’ve ever looked for your own thread and found nothing but empty space—i see you. let’s fall together.
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
Before time had a name, there was love.
And before love had rules, there were those who enforced them.
You were one of them.
Cupids were never born in the way humans or any other beings are.
There was no crying, no clutching warmth, no heartbeat against heartbeat. You weren’t given to anyone—because in your world, nothing is ever truly given. It’s assigned.
And you were assigned to love.
Long before your first breath—or what could even be counted as a breath—your existence was stitched together with rose-gold thread and spun into something soft.
Something radiant. Something shaped to serve.
The Realm of Threads didn’t believe in accidents. It believed in connection.
Harmony. Devotion.
These were your first lessons—woven not from stories, but from structure. From a place built not to feel love, but to uphold it.
Cupids, as humans might call them, are not gods. They are not angels. They are not the chubby, winged caricatures drawn on glossy cards each February.
They are constructs.
Beings built from emotion itself, shaped by the pulse of the universe and tasked with one divine, inescapable truth: make them fall in love.
All of them.
Every soul in every world is marked by a thread—red, golden, soft, or shining. Invisible to most. Tangible only to your kind. And where those threads exist, your kind follows.
Weaving. Binding. Mending.
You never asked why. You were taught never to ask why.
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈• 。゚
In your realm, the sky is made of lace.
Not literal lace—but that’s what it looks like, with its rippling tapestry of lights and longing.
You drifted through it as a child, surrounded by other Cupids—silent, graceful, unwavering. They didn’t speak unless they had to. Words wasted time. Emotion was observed, not expressed.
You were the odd one out almost immediately.
You giggled when you shouldn’t have. You sang with no rhythm. You watched humans too closely, too curiously. You wondered what it felt like to be kissed—not as a target, not as a mission—but as something wanted.
The Supervisors said your strings were too tight.
They meant your emotions.
You cared too much. Thought too hard. Dreamed in colors that didn’t belong to you.
But you were a prodigy, so they didn’t clip your wings. Not then. They praised your precision, your instincts. You’d never missed a target. Not once.
But love, you would learn, is only beautiful when it behaves.
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈• 。゚
You were trained before you ever knew what training meant.
In the Realm of Threads, there is no childhood. Not in the way humans define it. There are no lullabies, no scraped knees, no tumbling laughter in the grass. There is structure. There is schooling.
There is silence.
You were given a pod—not a room, not a bed. A pod. Sterile and softly lit, humming faintly with emotional frequency.
It pulsed with the echoes of distant connections: engagements, kisses, heartbreak, soulmates colliding on foreign soil.
It was meant to teach you. Not to feel—but to understand what feeling looks like.
Your first lessons weren’t in numbers or words. They were in observation.
Screens stretched across your wall like windows into other realms. Every second of every day, you watched humans love each other. Fumble and flourish. Make mistakes. Fix them. You learned the cadence of confession, the stillness before a first kiss, the ache of waiting by a phone that wouldn’t ring.
You took notes.
You practiced on simulations. Shadow versions of real people, constructed for training. They were emotion puppets—coded to respond, to mimic the human condition, but never feel it.
You pulled their strings like a composer, conducting the perfect crescendo of a meet-cute or a second chance.
And you were so good at it.
Even the elder Cupids, old as planetary rotations, took notice.
They called you “Silken.”
They called you “True-Handed.”
They said your instincts were woven with clarity few possessed.
But even then—you knew something was wrong.
Because love wasn’t clean. It wasn’t predictable. It wasn’t math.
You saw it in the gaps between the simulations—in the real footage, in the stolen glances and unsent letters.
Love was messy.
And you weren’t allowed to say that.
So instead, you smiled. You bowed your head. You aced your assignments. And when it was finally time to receive your bow—the instrument that would mark you as a field Cupid, ready to enter the human realm—you let them place it in your hands like a crown.
Ceremonial. Divine. Cold.
Your wings fluttered for the first time that day. Not from pride. From something else.
Restlessness.
Because you weren’t sure you wanted to be part of this system.
But you’d been shaped for it. And in the Realm of Threads, shape is everything.
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈• 。゚
They say Cupids don’t feel the way humans do. But if that were true—why did it ache?
You never had a red string.
That was the first thing you noticed.
You saw them everywhere—thread-thin, glowing like veins of fire across the fabric of reality. Around wrists, through hearts, tied in impossible loops from continent to continent, galaxy to galaxy. Red. Gold. Silver.
Some pulsed softly. Some burned bright. Some frayed at the ends—doomed to break.
But you?
You had none.
You looked. Every year. Every cycle. Every mirror.
And there was never one waiting for you.
The instructors said it was proof of your purpose.
You were meant to love, not to be loved.
Cupids didn’t need soulmates. You were the threads—not what they tied together.
But still, when you were alone in your pod—your crown-glass screen humming with soft simulations—you sometimes wrapped a ribbon around your own finger and pretended.
Just for a moment. Just to feel what it might be like to belong to someone.
To be chosen.
To be someone’s reason.
You told no one.
Cupids weren’t supposed to pretend.
Not about that.
You always grinned too brightly. Talked too much. Got too close to the humans you helped.
You asked too many questions.
Why this couple? Why that connection? Why did heartbreak sometimes look so much like love?
You weren’t supposed to wonder. You were supposed to execute. Deliver arrows. Create outcomes. Adjust the threads.
But you liked watching after the mission was done.
You stayed longer than you should have. Saw the way people clung to one another. Fought. Forgave. Grieved. Moved on. Sometimes, even when the threads said they wouldn’t.
And worse—you started to feel happy for them.
Genuinely.
Not in the approved, detached sense of “mission accomplished,” but like… something warm bloomed in your chest just watching two people choose each other.
One day you told another Cupid—casually, as if it was no big thing—that it must feel nice to be loved like that.
She looked at you like you were malfunctioning. Reported you. Quietly.
You were summoned for evaluation.
They used soft words. Nothing cruel—just… firm.
“Attachment undermines your clarity.”
“You’ve been too immersed in lower realms.”
“Emotional mimicry is a known side effect. You’ll adjust.”
You didn’t adjust.
You just learned how to lie better.
You laughed louder. You perfected your posture. You earned the nickname Heartsworn, and everyone said it with admiration.
But you felt empty most days.
Like a thread that had never been tied.
And it gnawed at you, that emptiness—because you were built to help others find connection.
So why did it feel like you’d never have your own?
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈• 。゚
It happened on a world not so different from Earth.
Small. Blue. Quiet in the way only dying stars can make a planet feel.
The threads there were thin. Brittle. Nearly broken.
It needed love desperately. That’s why they sent you.
Because you never missed. Because your aim was perfect. Because you were the shining example—the “Heartsworn,” the favorite, the infallible.
And at first, it was routine.
Two beings. Two threads. One frayed at the end, knotted tight around grief. The other hesitant, flickering. Their paths crossed in a way that felt almost poetic—a shared umbrella. An open bookstore. A laugh like recognition.
You hovered above them, bow pulsing in your palm.
A clean shot. Two arrows. One for each.
But then something shifted.
The woman—your target—she looked up at the man, eyes tired but tender. And the way he looked back… like he was remembering how to breathe.
And you saw it.
She had already loved him.
It hadn’t been forced. It hadn’t been orchestrated. No divine architecture. No thread pulling them forward.
Just… choice.
Human, messy, miraculous choice.
You hesitated.
And that’s all it took.
Your bow trembled in your hands. Not from error—but from resistance.
Because for the first time—you didn’t want to interfere. You didn’t want to force it.
You wanted to let them be.
You lowered your weapon.
And then—because you were soft, and reckless, and maybe stupid in the eyes of the Supervisors—you spoke to her.
She didn’t see you. Not clearly. Just a shimmer in the corner of her eye. But you whispered anyway.
“You don’t need help. You already chose him.”
The words weren’t authorized. Your presence was meant to be undetectable. You were not allowed to alter the script.
But you did.
And for a moment—nothing happened.
Then the red thread between them sparked. Bright. Violent. Uncontrolled.
It burned itself into existence. Without your arrow. Without divine sanction.
And they kissed.
Not because you told them to.
Because they wanted to.
Your lips curled into a soft smile.
You didn’t regret it.
But the moment you returned to the Realm of Threads, you knew something was wrong.
The lights were dimmed.
The supervisors were waiting.
No lectures. No trials.
Just one sentence.
“You interfered.”
You opened your mouth to defend yourself—but the guards were already reaching for your wings.
You’d heard what it sounded like.
The sound of ripping. The way it cuts deeper than bone.
But you’d never imagined it would hurt like this.
Your knees hit the lace-floor. Your mouth stayed silent.
You didn’t scream.
Not because it didn’t hurt—but because they wanted you to.
And maybe, just maybe, you wanted to take that from them.
Dignity, you told yourself.
Dignity is all I have left.
You were told you would not be recycled. You were too “contaminated.” Too unstable. A bad example.
So instead—they exiled you.
You didn’t get to ask where.
Just a flash of cold light—
And then the sound of wind.
Falling.
Alone.
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈• 。゚
You hit the ground hard.
Not like a leaf drifting. Not with grace. Not with poise. Not like the Cupids in the stories.
Like a comet.
A streak of light through an unfamiliar sky, dragging heat and ache in your wake.
You didn’t black out right away—but you almost wished you had.
Because the first thing you felt wasn’t the crash. Wasn’t the way your ribs seized or the way your shoulder twisted beneath your fall.
It was the space between your wings.
The hollow.
The absence.
You gasped.
Air—not laced with threadlight, not humming with frequency, just air—rushed into your lungs like punishment.
You curled onto your side, dirt grinding into the soft parts of you. Wet grass clung to your skin. The sky above was wrong—blue, yes, but so still. No shimmering frequencies. No glowing red filaments. Just clouds, soft and slow.
You were somewhere real.
Somewhere unmarked.
Somewhere alone.
It wasn’t the pain that made you want to cry.
It was the quiet.
Because back home—even when you were alone in your pod, even when no one looked at you—there was always something.
The buzz of love blooming. The echo of longing. The soft, constant pull of other people’s threads, humming just outside your senses.
But now?
Nothing.
It was gone.
You sat up slowly.
And then immediately flopped back down with a tiny, theatrical groan.
“Ouchie,” you mumbled to no one, voice breathy and soft and definitely not pained—because no, you were totally fine. Just a bit… stunned. And mildly bleeding. And definitely wingless.
But you were smiling. Kind of. Maybe.
Okay, so it trembled a little at the edges.
“I’ve had worse landings,” you said aloud—which was a lie. You’d never landed before. You’d always floated.
You tried again, slowly, every nerve screaming. Your knees trembled. Your arms buckled. You caught yourself on the soft slope of a hill, hands sinking into wildflowers and moss.
You blinked down at them.
Yellow, pink, violet. Stubbornly bright.
They looked like something out of a simulation.
They weren’t.
They were real.
Your mouth twisted.
Of course you landed in a field of flowers. Of course.
You laughed.
It came out cracked and hoarse. Almost a sob.
Because everything hurt, and everything was still spinning, and you had no idea where you were, and no one was coming for you, and—
No.
No, you weren’t going to cry. You weren’t.
Cupids didn’t cry.
Even clipped ones.
Even broken ones.
Even ones bleeding into someone else’s sky.
Still, you tried to push yourself up, wobbling on legs that hadn’t had to support you since your designation. It felt wrong. Heavy. Like gravity had teeth and it didn’t trust you. You teetered. Fell to your knees again.
And giggled.
Which also trembled a little.
“I meant to do that.”
You dusted imaginary dirt from your imaginary uniform and gave an exaggerated little curtsy to the empty air.
No one clapped. Rude.
You dragged yourself to your feet.
Shaky. Awkward. Wobbly in a way you hadn’t felt in cycles. The Realm of Threads taught you to float everywhere. Gliding was cleaner. More efficient. Less emotional.
You hadn’t really walked since childhood simulations.
The ground felt weird under your feet. Solid. Gritty.
Your bow was still intact. Miraculously. You hugged it close like a stuffed toy, curling in on yourself for a moment, letting the quiet press into your bones.
You could still feel it.
That place between your shoulders—where your wings had been. Like a ghost limb. Like something sacred had been carved out of you and left a silence behind.
You hated it.
But you kept moving.
Maybe—if you helped someone on this world—someone would come back for you. Maybe if you just kept doing your job, proved you were still useful, still good, they’d rewind the exile.
Reattach what they’d taken.
Please.
You stumbled once. Then again. Then face-planted into a patch of daisies with a grunt so undignified you groaned into the soil.
“Get it together,” you mumbled into the grass.
You pushed yourself back up. Sat on your knees for a second. Took a breath.
You didn’t know how long you wandered after that.
Minutes? Hours? You lost time in the way only the heartbroken can.
It got dark fast.
The sky burned gold, then violet, then black. Stars blinked overhead—foreign constellations, wrong patterns.
You were still limping through the field when the noise came.
A whoosh.
Sharp. Cutting. Like something splitting the air in half.
You froze.
Turned slowly.
And then—saw him.
Not a blur. A shape. Coming toward you like a storm with legs.
You only had a second to register what was coming at you: tall, fast, red and white—a storm in the shape of a man. And a scowl, carved from thunderclouds.
Flying.
He was flying.
You squinted.
Not a Cupid. Definitely not a Cupid.
A human?
No.
No, he felt… too much.
You didn’t have your thread-sight anymore, but you could still feel.
Emotions. Echoes.
He felt like gravity.
Like something that had no business coming closer—and was doing it anyway.
He landed hard. Just a few feet away.
Harder than you had. The ground splintered beneath his feet, shockwaves rippling out in a perfect ring. Dust and wildflowers burst upward like a gasp. He stood there for a beat—motionless.
And you… just stared.
Red suit. White accents. Red cape. Black goggles like midnight slicing across his face. He didn’t glow. He didn’t shine. He loomed.
His presence felt like gravity doubled—like the world bowed to his weight and dared not rise again.
You blinked at him slowly. Then offered a tiny wave.
“Hi.”
Silence.
He didn’t move.
You glanced behind you like maybe he was staring at someone else, but no—those mirrored goggles were fixed on you.
“Hiii,” you tried again, voice cheerier. “Okay, so I know this looks weird. But I promise I’m not here to hurt anyone! Unless, um. You count your planet’s gravitational field. Which did kinda kick my butt—ow.”
No reaction. His posture didn’t shift. You had a sudden, vivid mental image of being vaporized.
“I’m just passing through!” you rushed, hands up. “A… a tourist! On a very involuntary vacation!”
Still nothing.
Well, maybe not nothing—he was breathing.
Barley.
His voice, when it came, was sharp enough to slice open a planet.
“You’re not human.”
Your grin faltered for a second before rebounding, like a rubber band that’s been snapped too many times.
“Nope. Not even a little bit! But I’m very human adjacent in a lot of ways! I’ve watched a lot of rom-coms and I know how to do a proper hug—although full disclosure, I might fall over during it because of the whole… clipped wings situation.”
His jaw tightened. His eyes—hidden though they were—felt like twin drills boring into the softest parts of you.
“Why are you here?”
You opened your mouth. Closed it. Then plastered on a sheepish smile.
“That’s kind of a long story,” you admitted, voice dipping softer now. “The short version is… I got kicked out of my hom—my realm. For caring too much.”
Something flickered across his face. Brief. Gone before you could catch it.
“And now,” you continued, tone brightening again as you gestured to the wildflower field like a very proud but slightly concussed game show host, “I’m here! In… wherever here is. Honestly, it’s pretty. Good flowers. Ten out of ten. Bit of a rough welcome, but I’ve had worse.”
“You’re bleeding.”
Your hand drifted unconsciously to your back, fingertips brushing the jagged place where wings used to rise.
You shrugged. “It’s mostly cosmetic.”
He said nothing. Just stared.
You took a step forward—then immediately lost your balance and fell face-first into a patch of daisies.
There was a beat of silence. Then two. Then three.
And then—so faint you thought you imagined it—you heard the faintest exhale of breath from the man in red and white.
Not a laugh.
But maybe the ghost of one.
You rolled onto your back and grinned up at the stars.
“See?” you said, voice light. “I’m great at making first impressions.”
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈• 。゚
The second he saw you, he didn’t trust you.
Not because you looked dangerous. No—you didn’t. You were crumpled in a bed of wildflowers, wobbling like a broken marionette and smiling like someone had painted joy over grief and hoped no one would notice the cracks.
But that was exactly why he didn’t trust you.
People didn’t fall from the sky and grin. Not here. Not anywhere. Not anymore.
So he hovered, silent, watching you crawl upright like you didn’t know how to use your own legs. Like the planet was something foreign. Like gravity was something new.
That wasn’t normal.
He’d seen a lot of things in a lot of universes—false gods, black holes, men split into fractions of themselves—but this? A girl with stardust on her skin and nothing in her hands but a bow? That was new.
He landed hard. On purpose. Let the ground feel him.
You flinched. Not at the sound—at the silence that followed it.
And then you looked up.
Big eyes. Bare feet. Mouth bleeding at the corner, but curved like you hadn’t noticed. Or didn’t care.
And then—
“Hi.”
Like you hadn’t just fallen from orbit.
He didn’t speak.
“Hiii,” you tried again, softer. “Okay, so I know this looks weird. But I promise I’m not here to hurt anyone! Unless, um. You count your planet’s gravitational field. Which did kinda kick my butt—ow.”
Still he said nothing.
He didn’t move.
He watched.
Measured.
Assessed.
You were glowing at the edges—not visibly—but in some low, stubborn frequency. Like the kind of candle you couldn’t blow out even after you’d shattered the holder.
It irritated him.
He spoke without meaning to.
“You’re not human.”
You beamed, wounded and bright. “Nope! Not even a little bit!”
You kept talking. Rambling. Fumbling your way through some patchwork lie about tourism and rom-coms and wings—clipped, apparently.
He didn’t interrupt.
Didn’t need to.
He was looking for something. A tell. A crack.
“Why are you here?”
That stopped you.
Just a second. Barely.
But it was enough.
Your grin shrank. Eyes dipped. Voice turned soft.
“That’s kind of a long story. The short version is… I got kicked out of my hom—my realm. For caring too much.”
That flickered something inside him.
He crushed it before it could breathe.
He didn’t do soft. He didn’t do “caring.” That was the problem with the others. They hesitated. Thought. He didn’t. That’s why he survived.
So why was he still here?
Why wasn’t he flying away?
Why hadn’t he broken you in half the moment you lied?
You stepped forward. Tripped. Fell face-first into a clump of flowers like a deer learning how to walk for the first time.
He didn’t flinch, but he exhaled—just once. Quiet. Almost amused.
You rolled onto your back and smiled at the stars.
“See? I’m great at making first impressions.”
He hated how you said it.
Like it mattered.
Like someone out here was still capable of being good.
He walked toward you.
You didn’t run. You didn’t crawl away. You sat there, hands splayed out behind you, watching him like you weren’t sure if he was going to help you up or crush your skull.
Smart.
He stopped in front of you.
Tilted his head.
“I should kill you.”
Your eyes widened, but you didn’t move. “You could. You really could. But I’d prefer we didn’t start there?”
“Then give me one reason not to.”
You opened your mouth. Closed it. Looked up at him like you were weighing the clouds.
“I don’t have one.”
He stared.
You continued.
“I mean—I don’t know if I’m important. I don’t have a secret code or an army or even a sandwich right now. But…”
You reached up, touching your back—where the blood had dried, sticky and shimmering.
“But I used to be someone. I used to help people fall in love. And maybe that doesn’t matter to you—but it mattered to them.”
There was a silence.
He wasn’t sure what he expected you to say.
But it wasn’t that.
He should leave.
He should fly away and chalk you up to another anomaly.
Instead, he said:
“Can you still do it?”
You blinked. “Do what?”
“Make people love.”
Your lips curled up. Slowly. Sadly. “I don’t know.”
Another pause.
You were watching him too closely now. Like you were trying to read a string that wasn’t there.
“You’re not really from here either,” you said softly. “Are you?”
He didn’t answer.
Didn’t have to.
You already knew.
“Are you gonna hurt me?” you asked.
He looked at you, at the way your voice didn’t tremble, even though your body did.
And for once—he told the truth.
“I don’t know.”
You nodded.
“Fair.”
Then you reached up and offered your hand.
Not in fear. Not in desperation.
Just… like someone who was used to offering something and not getting it taken.
He didn’t take it.
But he didn’t crush it either.
He looked past you—at the dark hills, the useless stars, the broken silence.
After conquering this place and killing his father—he didn’t know what this planet was anymore.
Didn’t care.
But he had nowhere else to be. Not anymore.
He turned.
Walked.
And when he didn’t tell you to stay—
You followed.
Not too close.
Just… close enough.
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
˗ˏˋ 𝓴𝓲𝓼𝓼 𝓶𝒆 ˎˊ˗
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﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
Once, you were small. Once, you believed everything they told you.
Your first robe was the color of a peach blossom.
It shimmered when you turned, sleeves brushing the floor, too big for your arms and still perfect in every way. You’d never worn something so soft.
You twirled three times in front of the mirror, arms out like wings, giggling because everything felt light.
“You look very neat,” said one of the elder Cupids, gliding past with a clipboard. “Remember to keep your posture upright when you’re selected for observation.”
“I will!” you promised, standing taller.
The robe swished when you walked. You liked that. It made you feel important. Like you were finally what they said you would be—purposeful.
Part of something big.
You didn’t understand everything yet, but that didn’t matter.
You were going to be a Cupid.
And Cupids were good.
“Today,” said another instructor, voice warm and practiced, “you’ll learn about threads.”
You beamed. Sat up straighter. Listened with all your heart.
“Every being has a thread,” they explained, conjuring a floating hologram that flickered softly through the training chamber. “They wrap around us, tie us to our people. See?”
The threads shimmered—red, gold, silver, glowing like starlight.
You gasped. It was so pretty. It made your chest feel warm.
“You’ll help people find each other,” the instructor went on. “You’ll guide their steps. Fix what’s frayed. Strengthen what’s fragile.”
“I can do that!” you blurted.
A few other young Cupids turned to look at you, but you didn’t care. Your legs were swinging off the floating bench and your hands were already up.
“I wanna do the red ones,” you said proudly. “Those are the soulmate ones, right?”
The instructor smiled. So gently. Like they were talking to someone a little slow, but very sweet.
“Oh, darling,” they said. “You don’t get one.”
You blinked.
“Huh?”
“You won’t have a red thread,” they said again, same caring voice, same soft smile. “Cupids don’t get them.”
You frowned. “But… we’re people too?”
“No,” they said kindly. “You’re not.”
Another Cupid, older, came to kneel beside you. Their hair was smooth. Their smile too perfect.
“You’re something better,” they told you. “You were made for love. You don’t need to be in it.”
“But—” you started.
“We give it,” the first instructor interrupted gently. “That’s your gift.”
You hesitated.
“But doesn’t anyone ever want us back?” you asked in a small voice.
The instructor’s smile didn’t change.
“No one has ever asked that before.”
You blinked. Sat very still.
They stood again.
“Alright, little hearts,” the elder said, clapping once. “Time for simulation prep. Let’s learn how to listen when a thread hums.”
Everyone got up.
You did too.
You smiled. Because they smiled. Because everyone around you looked so sure, so peaceful, so right.
You didn’t want to be the wrong one.
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
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ᯓ❤︎ requested by: @lycheee-jelly
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌With Love, @alive-gh0st
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dollyyun · 3 days ago
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before i go tweaking and whoring (again) on here because of those concept photos, just wanna explain briefly (not really) about my absence from this blog (for anyone who cares):
long story short, mental health got in the way and i kinda lost lots of interest in many things including writing but then my hate towards my own writing got worse to the point i considered deactivating this blog bc i genuinely loathed my writing especially after doing some reading on the full fics i’ve written.
i’m gonna be real honest when i say my own writing sucks so bad. full stop. no. and pls don’t comfort me by saying that “but your writing is really good!” bc it’s honestly not and it’s horrendous especially to me. this is not me trying to fish for compliments bc i’m being honest that it got to a point where i’ve spent months ruminating about this. there’s something lacking in the way i write and after doing some readings and analysis on my own writing, it feels…soulless? lack of emotions? as if the entire writing itself was written by AI, which i didn’t and would never. i’ve spent sleepless nights typing and brainstorming, especially the original dkp series, so yeah i will get pissed off if someone were to ever accuse me of using AI. i only ever used grammarly tools to fix my grammars because i wanted perfection, and this is not to say that my fics were perfect obviously.
so yeah that’s how i feel about my own writing but after confiding in my trusted friends and close moots on here, i decided to not impulsively deactivate this blog like i once did. but at the same time, i decided to ghost this blog because ngl i felt guilty every time i was active on here without posting fics because of my slow ass (slow probably bc english is not my native language), and i didn’t want to annoy anyone bc i know there will be some ppl that are like “post fics instead of yapping or posting shit that is not fics”. but this is not to say that my fics are good or my posted fics were that good for ppl to anticipate ongoing or new works from me. it’s just..how i felt.
tbvh i thought that was it to my writing journey or the end of my blog because i genuinely fell out of writing and enhablr hard. but then one day, out of nowhere, i felt a tiny spark from my not-so-dead love towards writing.
then slowly, it got to a point where new fic ideas came to mind and i was so so excited, and it reminded me of the time whenever ideas came to mind back when i was working on og dkp series.
anddd that’s about it. gosh this is so fucking dramatic and embarrassing of me i need to kms when it shouldn’t be, and i know i don’t really owe anyone here an explanation, but then a part of me felt awful bc you guys have always been super nice and loving towards me :( i really don’t deserve any of this or you guys.
also, i’m not entirely back yet and i cannot promise when i’ll be posting fics because i need to hone my writing skills and practice on how to execute a writing that will make a reader feel emotions, and it’ll take some time, which means i will be taking my time and really pace myself. i need to feel happy and satisfaction about my writing even when i know that my writing won’t ever come close to being the perfection i envisioned. maybe my new improved writing won’t be as any good as my old one but at least i know that it was worth the try and i really am excited for you all to read the new ideas/fics i’ve even come to fall in love with.
so i hope you guys are not too mad at me about it. thank you to those who are still here reading my shit and supporting me even when they’re not any good <3
okay i think i’ll be whoring on here after i’m more coherent bc i really need to sleep rn.
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wayiiseetheworld · 3 days ago
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Wake Up Call
Summary: Aila wakes her husband up with a blow job.
Warnings: Jack Abbot x OC!Wife. Established relationship. Age gap marriage. Oral Sex. Blow job. Vaginal Sex. Praise kink. Really Porn Without Plot.
Word Count: 1,139
Author Note: Nervous as I wrote this half in my sleep night, I am kinda new to writing scenes like this. I am obsessed with Abbot, Robby, and The Pitt. Slowly going to post my stories from A03 on here. Rewatching ER and Animal Kingdom because of this show. Thank you so much for reading! Taking requests! || Not my gif.
Masterlist | A03 Link
Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoy it!
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The bedroom was still cloaked in darkness, the only illumination the faintest hints of dawn tinging the sky outside. Today, Jack would be working the day shift, covering for Robby, who was away at a medical conference in Miami. He stirred softly, a gentle warmth wrapping around him, the comfort of sleep still lingering in his mind as he slowly woke. 
He groaned low in his throat as he became aware of the delicious sensation of Aila's mouth on his cock. He watched for a moment, before letting her know that he was awake. She was nestled between his thighs, naked and comfortable, sucking him with steady, greedy pulls. He could feel her hair splayed across his stomach and hips, silky soft against his skin.
"Mmm, sunshine," he rumbled, voice still thick with sleep. "What a lovely way to wake up."
Aila hummed softly, the vibration resonating around his length, causing a surge of delightful sensations to course through him. Jack's hand found its way into her tresses, tenderly directing her rhythm as she skillfully pleasured him with her lips and tongue.
"Ah yeah, just like that baby," Jack praised, hips rolling subtly to meet her bobbing head. "Take that cock nice and deep. Show me what a good girl you are. You are a good girl, right?”
There was a small hum that left Aila’s lips before she responded by taking him even deeper, flattening her tongue along the underside of his shaft as she swallowed around him. The wet heat of her throat made Jack's eyes nearly roll back in his head. "Fuck, that’s new. Where did you learn that?” He feels her tongue once more. “God, your mouth feels so good," he grunted, fingers flexing in her hair. "Gonna make me come if you keep that up."
She pulled back then, releasing him with a lewd pop. Her face wore a grin, a small blush on her cheeks.  "Mmm, do you want to come in my mouth, baby?" she asked coyly, licking a long stripe up his shaft. "Want me to swallow every drop?”
"Yes," Jack hissed through clenched teeth, his cock throbbing with need. "Want to fuck that smart mouth until you take it all.”
“I’m your good girl.” Aila grinned and opened wide, taking him back down to the root. She sucked hard and fast, determined to make him come undone. Jack's fingers tightened in her hair, holding her in place as he started to thrust shallowly into her mouth.
He was getting close, so damn close, but Jack suddenly wanted more. He tugged on Aila's hair firmly, signaling for her to stop. She pulled back, looking up at him with slight puppy eyes before biting down on his lips. “I’m not done, sir.” He sees her shake her ass a little.
"On top of me, now," he commanded gruffly. "Want to feel that tight little cunt squeezing me. I want to cum inside you, baby girl. I want to fill you up. Would you like that?”
“Yes, I want that.” Aila scrambled to obey, straddling his hips and sinking down onto his thick length with a guttural moan. "Oh fuck, you're so deep," she panted, rolling her hips experimentally. "Filling me up so good."
Jack groaned at the feel of her surrounding him, hot and wet and perfect. He gripped her hips hard enough to bruise, urging her to move faster. "That's it baby girl, ride that cock," he growled. "Fuck yourself on me until you cum all over it."
Aila picked up the pace, bouncing on his lap. Her hands were on his chest. The wet sounds of their coupling filled the room along with their moans and gasps. Jack could feel his release building fast but he held off, determined to make Aila come first.
"Come on baby, give it to me," he urged breathlessly, thumbing her clit in tight circles. "Squeeze my cock like a good girl. Cum all over it."
His filthy words pushed Aila over the edge and she cried out sharply as her orgasm crashed through her. Her inner muscles clamped down around Jack like a vise, fluttering wildly as ecstasy consumed her. “Oh, Jack.” She says breathlessly.
"Ah fuck, just like that!" Jack snarled, slamming up into her as he chased his own release. He came with a harsh shout, spurting deep inside her. They rode out the aftershocks together, chests heaving and skin slick with sweat. 
Finally, Aila collapsed onto Jack's chest with a sated little sigh. A small giggle leaves her lips. “What’s so funny?” Jack asks his wife. 
"Mmm, not a bad way to start the day," she purred, nuzzling into his neck. “Wish you didn’t have to go to work, so we could do this all day.”
Jack just hummed in agreement, arms coming around her to hold her close. Jack loved moments like this, where it was just the two of them. "No, not bad at all," he murmured, pressing a kiss to her hair. "Gonna be hard to leave you like this but I'll be thinkin' about this the whole time while I’m working.”
Aila laughed softly and rolled off him, stretching like a contented cat. "Don't worry baby, I'll be here waiting when you get back," she promised with a wink. "And maybe we can pick up where we left off.”
Jack gently slipped out of the warm cocoon of the bed. His movements were quiet and deliberate as he swung his legs over the side, placing his feet softly on the cool floor. Aila, now, nestled beneath the covers, watched him with a small, affectionate smile, her eyes lingering on his silhouette as he moved about the room.
A faint chuckle escaped Jack’s lips, breaking the quiet moments. “I like the idea of that,” he murmured with a playful glint in his eyes. “Maybe you could wear that little sexy nurse outfit we found last Halloween. You know, the one with the fishnet tights and that cute little cap?”
Aila raised an eyebrow, a teasing smile curling her lips. “A little nurse, huh? Maybe some doctor roleplay when you get home?” she teased.
Jack’s face lit up with a grin as he nodded softly, clearly intrigued by the idea. “I really do not want to go to work today.” He moans. “And yeah, I think that could be fun,” he said, his tone warm and inviting. “We should order dinner tonight, maybe pizza. Are you okay with that?”
He leaned down to plant a gentle kiss on her forehead before he stood to get his work clothes. “Yeah. As long as one of the pizzas has olives in it.” Aila scooted further beneath the covers, settling in comfortably as the morning sunlight cast a golden glow across the room watching her husband get ready for his work day.
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loo011 · 3 days ago
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A long ass deep dive on why Jackson wasn't happy after the Reds apology
Welcome to my Ted Talk on why Jackson would feel empty after the apology despite seeming like he was very much moved by it
•I'll try to keep this analysis strickly before the apology [chapters 78-79] which in other words mean that Harry's role as exer's father won't be included in the jealousy[first] section of this post.
So first of all Jackson's feelings about exer are OBVIOUSLY complicated and that is especially shown in s3 where he can't tell if he cares about exer or want him to suffer and I, liu took it upon myself to deep dive into his emotions and explain it in 3 points
1) jealousy
He's both jealous of- and over exer
A) his jealousy of exer
Nobody discards exer after finding out the truth. They all support him despite of his previous actions and lies and I think Jackson is very bitter about this
He's bitter that after everything exer's done he's still very loved and supported
Now Jackson is obviously loved and supported too by the people around him but they don't know the full story about what happened at Halloween and what he said to exer before exer almost told the whole school about his magic
They don't know how much Jackson really pushed exer and Jackson doesn't want them to know because he knows he's horrible for these things and doesn't think he'd be as loved and supported if they found out
And that's a major reason why he would be so jealous of exer
B) He's jealous over exer
Exer is well loved and supported his friends know about his magic and are helping him very well, he's doing perfectly fine emotionally and mentally and doesn't need Jackson's help
If you pay DEEP attention you might notice that Jackson to an extent weirdly is protective of exer specifically for some reason that is probably magic related
The story doesn't acknowledge it and it can be glossed over and chalked to him being nice in s1, manipulative in s2 and start of s3 till he finally admits it with himself that he doesn't want exer to suffer
In s1 Jackson is basically following exer like a lost puppy, he constantly asks exer if he's ok only to be pushed away every time
And again that can be chalked to him being nice but his breaking point being that exer refused his help rather POLITELY before turning rude because of Jackson pushing him to accept his help
And then when he asks exer if he's fine after seeing him cry despite them fighting for like 2 weeks only to be bitter when he sees the group hugging and comforting exer and he responds in the pettiest way possible which is to kiss brenda- and look exer IN THE EYES WHILE DOING IT?
Of course there's the factor that he's lowkey obsessed with people liking him but he honestly doesn't need to genuinely care for exer if he just wants to get along (i.e., liked). And it is rather specific that this was the scene that really made him step to his lowest level
But hey, this is s1 Jackson it's not like he'd still care about exer after their fight, right?
He probably feels a bit guilty in s3.
I mean, it's not like he's going as far as to let himself get hurt for exer's sake don't be silly!
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Oh look, he's doing exactly that!
2) he feels invalidated
The reds forgave exer, Pamela forgave exer, everyone forgave exer for all of his actions and think Jackson should hear him out EVEN his new friends -the detention kids- think that he should hear exer out
And here's the thing, Jackson has always been secretive about his own emotions and feelings, he's used to bottle up so his feelings aren't a burden to anyone else
Ever since day1 he never want anyone to know that he was stressed
So picture this. You're used to not tell others about your feelings but when you feel safe enough to talk about them to someone (the detention kids) and they (semi) side with the person who's caused you these negative emotions in the first place and tell you that you should hear him out.
When Jackson told them that he doesn't like the reds because of something the first response he got was a "we met them and they seem nice"
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Now Jackson was kinda wrong in how he acted with the reds (and especially Brenda)
but the dikds don't know that; they don't know the reds and their relationship with Jackson they only talked to them like twice so that comment feels....disrespectful and discarding to Jackson's personal experience
It doesn't feel like the dikds are telling Jackson to hear exer out because it's good for him it feels like they're saying this because they like the reds and want to be friends with them from how fondly they speak of people they again don't know
Jackson realizes this and use it as a lie when he tells them why he chose exer to work on that project together
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His friends want to befriend the people he dislikes, pamela already befriended the people he dislikes
Everyone wants to be friends and are constantly saying or hinting at it to him
The only thing standing in the way is HIM and his emotions
Suddenly his feelings that he JUST started feeling safe enough to explore are burdensome to others
He doesn't feel safe enough to explore his emotions because everyone are making him feel like he's just being difficult and making a deal out of nothing
3) he misses exer and thinks it's one sided
Now this ties with the section on his jealousy over exer
Jackson thinks about exer more than he likes
Be it anger care or longing, exer is on his mind more than he thinks he should be. While exer? Exer is doing perfectly fine, he has his friends and all the support he needs and there's absolutely no reason on why he'd ever think about Jackson smith
We know this isn't true and exer misses Jackson badly too but these two are so dysfunctional they don't know they both care and miss each other more than anyone would ever really know
Jackson feels upset when he sees how much better exer is with his friends while exer too feels bad when he sees Jackson happy with Elijah
(and much less obvious when he meets the dkids at cup o cat)
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To Jackson and literally everyone else the reason why exer cares about him so much is some petty guilt
To everyone else the reason why Jackson would think about exer alot is because he's hurt by him
They don't consider that there are other factors
It's hard to think about someone who moved on from you; It makes you feel like your experience (and in that case, friendship too) wasn't all that important and you're silly for thinking about them so much still
And with the previous notes this only makes it more confusing for Jackson
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orangepeelknives · 1 day ago
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ms. orangepeelknives you’ve got me completely crazy abt that mack-will-leno post
bcoz i love the thought of leno being very supportive and teasing of will’s huge crush on mack like yada yada i’ve been hearing abt macklin celebrini from the hockey community, from the media forever. But no ones ever talks about that kid’s smile or his floppy hair quite like will 🙄 still, he’ll tolerate will’s lovesick musings but he won’t tolerate celebrini thats for sure
and mack has no reason to hate dislike leno, he just doesnt like that theres history between him and will. There’s a version of will only gabe and leno know, theres inside jokes he’ll never get, theres a version of will that isn’t his. But he’ll tolerate leonard if he has to, strong emphasis on tolerate
now i need to know what will feels in between of all of this !!!!!
suddenly his friendship with leno and gabe isn’t living in each others pockets but fleeting texts on off days between games and random insta stories of congrats… but also now he has mack !!
mack who’s been on his radar forever and now he has him, he learns this guy is just as crazy as him, just as intense about hockey.
will is such a sentimental guy who holds all he loves close to his heart but hes still just a kid, just a guy, and his whole world now revolves around hockey and being good enough to help carry this franchise and mack, and he’s sorry he couldnt keep up with the BC boys, its just been hectic
So what’s will now 😃 part of him misses the simplicity of BC and he maybe that includes the people related to those memories, but another part of him loves the new energy of being in the big leagues with mack and theres no simplicity anymore but at least theres mack
sorry for rambling, will smith hockey is just my special little guy and i hope he achieves as much as he wants huhu and i’d hate for him to be caught in between his two lives two friends’ weird jealousy
-🐚
shell anon NEVER apologize for your beautiful mind!!!!!! every message in my inbox is a GIFT!!!!!
and this one is just. such a perfect messy little love triangle that isn’t a love triangle. i’m kissing it on the forehead and telling it it’s my favorite.
because YES. will smith, little golden retriever golden boy will smith, is the center of this orbit and it is so quietly painful for him. because it’s not just about past vs present. it’s about what version of himself he gets to be with who.
with leno and gabe, it was the before. it was college dorms and dumb pranks and watching film on the floor with empty gatorade bottles and too much popcorn. it was comfort and inside jokes and someone else understanding what the usntdp did to your brain without needing to explain it. it was easy. until it wasn’t. until will pulled away.
and he did pull away. that’s the thing that makes me craaaazy. he chose to. he chose to leave boston when everyone wouldve understood him staying to play another year. indirectly, he chose mack, before even really knowing him.
and then. THEN. there’s mack. who’s intense and annoying and weird and always there. who asks for everything with his whole chest and doesn’t even notice that he’s doing it. who doesn’t make will feel like he has to compete with some ghost of his own softer past—because mack doesn’t know that version of will. will gets to be new again.
but the kicker. the KICKER. is that mack also has no idea what leno meant to will. he doesn’t know the soft parts. the things that were just theirs. the inside jokes that still make will smile when he sees leno’s number flash on his phone. and that drives mack insane. not jealous in a possessive way, but in the way that someone who’s always trying to be enough gets when they realize someone else got there first.
and will? sweet baby will? he’s just in the middle of it trying to keep the peace and be okay for everyone while slowly unraveling under the pressure of being the emotional glue for two people who are NAWT friends. do we know the true extent? no. do they hate each other, or find each other annoying? we dont know!!! that is the beauty of the web.
anyway. thank you for letting me scream with you. will smith hockey is the most normal guy alive and he’s being psychologically dismantled by his own need to hold everything close to his heart like it won’t burn through his chest. let him rest. let him cry in a target parking lot. let him be loved back the way he loves.
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kiirostarz · 2 days ago
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A few days ago, I made a post about Hogan, so I thought I'd share the headcanon I have of him with my Merlin. Honestly, I never saw them as a romantic pairing — their interactions always felt more tender and wholesome to me. That said, I completely understand why others interpret it differently, and that’s totally valid.
For my headcanon, I based it on a conversation from the main story. In that "scene", Hogan talks about what Merlin was like before the memory loss, and he mentions how we used to play pranks on him using our shapeshifting powers — sometimes appearing as a child, an old man, a woman, etc. I found that moment really sweet, but beyond that, it made me think of how someone, like a family member or a father figure, might watch you grow throughout your life, witnessing every version of you.
I also love how Hogan is a character who truly supports Merlin in everything. One of my favorite lines is probably at the beginning, after we design our character, when he says something like how our new appearance feels closer to our true self. That’s why I love him — it really feels like Hogan knows the protagonist deeply, even beyond the title of Merlin.
So yeah… that’s basically why Hogan is a "father figure" or mentor to my Merlin.
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I was also going to post something about the new stuff from the upcoming season — my bad. Apparently, it wasn’t Misarte after all 😔, so I’ll probably wait for more details to come out before talking about Echoes of Dissent.
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forcedhesitation · 1 year ago
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*wheeze* slowly, but surely, working on art of them all
#bg3#myart#wip#I want to make every tav/companion pairing I have a dedicated. fancy piece.#these started with a concept for a wyll drawing that was very...storybook! inspired.#I would have been done all the linework for these two pieces by now had my weekend gone better :/#I was violently unwell for...about a week and a half? chronic illness bullshit. had started to feel better friday of last week...#...unfortunately fate had it that the weekend ended up being particularly stressful. so the pain returned anew.#it was. somewhat better today. but still not enough for me to really be productive in my free time :(#I will try to complete the linework tomorrow if all goes well. I really would like to start colouring them!#I have delightful colour schemes chosen...#gale/illamin piece has already been sketched in a notebook. once I finish these two- I will begin lining theirs!#illamin's connects to cadence's because they're intertwined like that. but I have yet to finish planning out cadence's piece.#I've gone back and forth on who I should romance with him...the thing with any of the companions is that they are all written to be-#-immensely compatible with each other. so writing a tav FOR a specific companion is a bit hard. often the tav could fit with any of them.#hell. I'm STILL working out details of jantar and corydalis' story & characters. because I can't be normal about this.#that aside- I DO have other. finished pieces...finally.#well. I had some long before... but I didn't want to post them because I wasn't happy with them.#so I went and finished new stuff that I DO like.#4. technically 5 drawings. all horror/horror adjacent in theme.#my extremely detailed hux painting is also NEARLY done. after months upon months of work.#and I continue to slowly chip away at the big scifi themed dbd piece I've had in progress.#I really never run out of things to draw and it's a bit torturous because I never have the time or energy to draw everything...
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dullahandyke · 1 year ago
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and like sidenote if i can make a post with a target audience of zero. i feel like fhsy was to d20 what aa3 was to ace attorney but aa3 pulled it off better for reasons i cannot explain
#it is. the amatonormativity#^ guy who was REALLY pissed about the sandra lynn stuff#like yknow that bit in the first ep where brennan is like 'oh this drama is going down' and so like the pcs investigate it#probs bcos they think itll like kick off their new quest#and then it turns out to be like. petty romantic drama.#thats kind of a microcosm of the entire season for me#not to say there werent parts i liked (looks at the picture of baron i printed out and hung on my wall)#(and most of the leviathan stuff was brilliant and ayda is a role model for me)#but its all so tied up in the rest of that shit that i dont rlly wanna rewatch it the way ive rewatched fy 6+ times#likening this to aa3 bcos of the rlly noticeable uptick in romantic content in it compared to the rest of the trilogy#like prior to that all that rlly comes to mind is like. 2-3 and pearl's shipping shenanigans and larry existing#but in aa3 both mia and phoenix have past lovers who play big parts#theres a married couple theres tigre and viola (who sidenote i ENTIRELY missed as romantic my first playthru. i am dense)#there's the business with fawles#like it felt like romance played a large part in every case in aa3#where even when it came up in 1 + 2 it was usually ancillary (2-3 excepted but like. ppl regard that case as a fluke in most regards)#you COULD argue that maggey and adrian also inject some romantic presence in the story#but idk it just doesnt feel as central or prevalent as in aa3#like i saw a post abt adrian and celeste being cousins in the aa anime being not just the sailor moon 'best cousins' thing#but like. reinforcing the themes of familiar devotion as aa2's core. and that was rlly foundational to my understanding of the game#even tho its a change that comes from an adaptation#whereas you Couldnt make that change in aa3 without it changing A Lot of shit#where was i going with this. shrug.#the zelda and tracker relationship drama was entirely manufactured as punishing the pcs for not centering npcs#whose relationship issues were ancillary to the overarching plot they were focused on and which hadnt rlly been brought up beforehand#'why didnt gorgug call zelda :/' do u want zac to pause the kalina mystery to roleplay good relationship communication with the dm??#like its one thing looking at sy as a narrative but looking at it as a ttrpg campaign with limited time and a need to split character focus#i dont see what it did for the story besides give gorgug something to angst abt. didnt rlly feel like there was character growth or an arc#sigh. MANDATORY DISCLAIMER its been at least a year since i watched sy and longer before that since ive played aa3#but at the time my feelings were strong and have only calcified. romance as a theme in something not generally abt romance
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stairset · 2 years ago
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I realize this could get me crucified in certain circles but as good as Andor was I really do think its fans can be truly insufferable.
#i'm sorry but so many andor fans just have this snobby ass attitude about it#and feel the need to act as if it's The Only Good Star Wars Thing Ever Made#and every other star wars thing should copy it#because clearly if the show's style works for THAT story it MUST work for every story right#it was annoying when the show was airing and it's annoying now#like idk maybe the people who described it as ''star wars for people who hate star wars'' weren't that far off#i already talked about all this in another post a while back#but y'know a new show just came out which means i have to put up with it again#even though there's really no reason to compare andor and ahsoka outside of ''they're both star wars shows''#and most of it is just people bitching that ahsoka is more reference-heavy#which as i've also pointed out in previous shows. it's a sequel.#a sequel continues the story of a previous work that's literally the entire fucking point#like i'm sorry but when it comes to this show specifically i do not give a solitary FUCK about the casual viewer#it has been very explicitly and unambiguously billed as a direct sequel to rebels from the start#and it was announced 3 years ago which is more than enough time to get caught up#no one is forcing you to watch the sequel before the thing it's a sequel to#as far as i'm concerned if you watch a sequel before the first one that's entirely on you#you knew what you were getting into and you have forfeited any right to bitch about being confused#but anyway back to andor i'm not gonna let people being annoying about it affect my enjoyment of it#cause it IS a good show and i don't wanna end up resenting it just cause people are pretentious asses about it#but yeah i think certain people could maybe stand to get off their fucking high horses over star wars spin-off shows#shut up tristan
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vickyvicarious · 2 years ago
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hii!!
im starting a substack that sends you a short story every monday and you seem like the type of person who might be interested in that <33 its completely free and you can quit whenever and you absolutely don't have to join if this isn't your thing xx
here's the link: orionrhodes.substack.com
tysm and have an awesome day :D
Oh, hello!
A short story every Monday is indeed the kind of thing that interests me. On the other hand, I'm signed up to so many substacks that after much pondering... I've gone ahead and subscribed anyway, haha.
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arolesbianism · 3 months ago
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Me sitting and watching any oni discussion waiting for an excuse to bring up a seed is planted all like 🤓👉👈
#rat rambles#oni posting#Ive been lurking in a discord sever if you couldn't tell#well I have been for a while but I rarely touch it since my poor heart cant take it#I try to only add my two cents when smth that actually relates to the lore comes up which as it turns out is almost never lol#there is a lore discussion channel to be clear its just never used to discuss the actual lore so thats where my agonies come from#alas. no one cares.#also holy moly the misconceptions are rampant. you can feel how little most ppl have read if any at all. sigh.#its fine but it is still sad to me. screams and cries. Ill never be able to talk abt the actual characters at this rate#Im going to need to make like a three hour common misconceptions debunking video at this rate#(lying but if I Do make a lore video eventually I will be putting a common misconceptions section at the end for my sanity)#again Im just hesitant to try making a lore video rn since there's kind of a plot going on thats not done yet in the recent dlcs#while technically the general timeline of gravitas itself is complete enough for a summary video especially in relation to in game stuff#this stuff relates more heavily to the rest of pre earth exploding societal stuff that I feel like is important to cover in a lore summary#if I was just talking the main story of oni I could summarize that pretty easy but if its going to be a comprehensive lore video I want it#to cover the actual lore and not just the general key notes of what matters to in game things#the real question is if I actually try to include every bit of mildly noteworthy information or not lol#Id love to ramble abt every named character and point out which dupes we have known donors for but most of them are quite disconnect from#everything else going on and even those who arent are kind of hard to bring up in relation to those events#aka the guys with their lil diaries and any artifact exclusive mentions#well ok this also includes like pei and mae and probably several other ppl Im forgetting#maybe I can give them a lightning round section where I go over duplicant donors that didnt get mentioned in story summary#but again I wanna wait until at least the next dlc before starting to draft this since again there's a plot going on rn#cause like if I just go for it now Ill be binding myself to a clunky update video where I go over the new stuff#and that will be fine by me once this current jackie family drama arc is over but for now I will twiddle my thumbs and wait
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celestiamour · 5 months ago
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‧₊˚✧ ❛[ me & my husband ]❜
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ft. moon ki-yong (the salesman) x f! reader — squid game
╰₊✧ you don’t need your husband to be perfect, you just want him to be honest┊3.3k words; part two (here)
contains: written before s2 came out!! probably ooc or inaccurate, angst with spots of fluff & a bittersweet ending? reader’s pov mostly, suspicions of cheating, lack of communication, mentioned age gap, random inaccurate lore for the salesman
➤ author's note: yeah, i saw the sudden uptick in notes on that gong yoo post i made and realized season 2 came out which i completely forgot about. i intend to watch it soon as possible and write fics for it as well as (probably) add new characters to my writing list, but for now, please be content with this!!
₊˚ʚ 💌₊˚✧ this fic was heavily inspired by “emotionally intoxicated” by aurasaurora!
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moon ki-yong is the poster image for the ideal husband. he’s always been like that from the moment you met him, and you can’t help but feel like you’re the luckiest woman in the world when he calls himself yours. he’s tall and handsome, someone who catches everyone’s eye despite his only being focused on you. he’s wealthy and hard-working, able to call a luxurious mansion your home, and willing to buy you anything your heart desires as long as you ask for it. he spoils you rotten with that money, gifting you expensive things even if you didn’t ask if it reminded him of you. he’s doting, always sure to smother you in affection with kisses and cuddles whenever together to make it known how much he adores you. the sex is great too, he makes you feel wanted and desirable without ever leaving you unsatisfied. 
most importantly though, you love him, and he loves you. the last two years of marriage have been so blissful, and there isn’t a single thing you would change.
at least that’s what you believe most of the time.
you like to think you know a lot about him, and in a way, you do. you know his favorite color, how he likes his coffee, what he usually orders at restaurants, the type of wine he prefers over beer, the exaggerated shocked fasces he likes to make, how his favorite chore is folding the laundry, how his least favorite is doing the dishes because he doesn’t like getting his hands dirty, the name of his childhood pet, what positions he likes to cuddle or fuck in, the names he’s thinking of giving to your child when they are finally born— there are so many little details you know about him, yet at times you feel like you don't know anything at all.
you don’t really know much about his childhood aside from a few random stories, he claims there’s nothing really notable and that it was as standard as can be. you don’t know who his parents were or what they were like because he said they died when he was young, but surely that’s an important loss which must have impacted him and made youth difficult in some way? you don’t know about his past partners if he even had any, but you doubt you were his first as he was yours with a face like his. you don’t know any of his secrets, like an embarrassing moment or something sinful he might have committed in the past. 
he knew all of these things about you and the little details of your life, so why don’t you know any of the most basic things regarding your own husband?
these periods of uncertainty are few and far, but once the icy tendrils of doubt creep in, it’s difficult to shake them off when you realize you only know these things through observations and not him actually telling you. it’s a miracle your stupidity allowed you to make it this far in falling head over heels for him, getting married, and carrying his child (not that you completely regret it, you still love him, but you wish you had given it more time).
they say there are no such things as stupid questions, yet the main question you have is exactly that as it’s something every wife should know even before the marriage. it would be impressive how long you’ve been clueless about this matter if it weren’t for how often and how skilled he is in managing to evade your curiosity and steer the conversation elsewhere. you didn’t want to press on it since he seems to shut it down every time the topic is brought up and you don’t want to fight over something you technically didn’t need to know, but it weighs on you and presses into your chest with the knowledge you were being kept in the dark. 
what did your husband do for a living, exactly?
his schedule is always unpredictably changing with little rhyme or reason and it confuses you. sometimes you’ll go an entire few days without seeing him, sensing him wake up in the morning before the sun is even up, feeling him kiss you on the cheek before getting ready, and not coming back until long after you fall asleep with no communication aside from a note on the table telling you he’ll be gone for the day along with a wad of cash for you to treat yourself while he’s gone. other times he’ll be chilling at home for an entire week, waking you up with aggressive cuddles (or morning sex), making you breakfast with the morning news on in the background, and taking you out to wherever you want to go on his card in his rare casual clothing and messy wavy hair rather than the typical fancy suits and hair styled with gel. 
as far as you’re concerned, he’s a businessman of sorts, although you don’t know what company he works for or what position he has in terms of hierarchy or how an occupation of that type allows such flexibility in hours or anything at all. 
“what if he’s having an affair?”
you paused for a second before continuing the motion of slicing the cheesecake with a fork and savoring the taste in your mouth. “that’s ridiculous,” you stated simply after swallowing. “he loves me very much, and it doesn’t explain his weird schedule either.”
today was spent with some friends you met back in high school, but honestly, you were only attending out of politeness and tradition since you honestly feel like you’ve disconnected from these girls long before the current. still, you treasure the memories shared in your more formative years and wouldn’t ever say no to them if they wanted to hang out like old times. ki-yong doesn’t bother to hide his distaste for them, calling them a miserable lot who try to drag you down at every opportunity out of jealousy for your happiness. you laugh it off, but you know deep down he’s right and yet you’re still sitting here at the cafe with them with bright smiles like their words don’t cut deep. 
“maybe he’s dating the boss— a sexy office siren type— she gives him plenty of days off and he stays with her at her beach house at jeju island or something to keep her company, and then she gives him lots of money in exchange.”
“oh my god, could you imagine?”
“can you be realistic? it sounds like you’re just writing a plot for a new drama,” you giggled, not allowing the feeling of a twisting blade in your abdomen to show on your face or the venom to drip from your words at the mere thought of the man you loved being stolen away a faceless woman who was everything you wished you were more of: more beautiful, more wealthy, more experienced, more intelligent—
“you don’t know because he’s your first love or whatever— and you’re so lucky to have been able to marry him— but men are dogs, and i don’t see why he would be the exception.”
“but he treats me so well—”
“maybe he only treats you well because you’re pregnant— he probably just feels guilty. i mean, when i was pregnant and had my first, my husband wasn’t attracted to me anymore and demanded a divorce unless i lost the baby weight.” she shrugged like it was so simple, so common, like the notion of marriage wasn’t something so deeply important and could be thrown away so easily.
“we aren’t suggesting you get a divorce, but we’re just saying you should keep an eye on him— you know? a handsome guy like him was always bound to get a lot of attention…” her laugh was shrill and high-pitched, making goosebumps erupt on your skin.
“right… thanks guys…”
that night, you couldn’t stop twisting and turning on the large sectional couch with thoughts rushing through your head of your husband with some other woman. the jealousy from these fictional scenarios without evidence of existence plagued you. it made you want to vomit up the negative feelings and go back to the person you were a few hours ago without the images of him cheating planted in your mind, which didn’t go unnoticed by him and caused him to ask what was bothering you as it wouldn't be good for the baby.
you hesitated for a moment, “could you tell me about your exes?”
“why are you suddenly curious about that?” he chuckled, knowing damn well that it was because of those stupid snakes masquerading as people (it truly takes one to know one) running their mouths again, but still feigning obliviousness for your sake. 
“just wondering,” you muttered. “i mean, you’re the first person i’ve fallen in love with, but you’re a bit older than me so…”
“and i hope to be the only one too,” he smirked confidently, making you laugh as he plopped down on the ground and rested his head on the cushion next to yours. 
it was such a casual setting in such a vast space, bringing you back to the days in your little apartment inviting him over for chicken and beer before you knew about your immense wealth and got embarrassed over your cheap dates when he was so used to expensive restaurants. he found it very endearing though, knowing you liked him for him and not his money.
“well, if you’re so curious…” he trailed off, but you weren’t quite sure if it was because of hesitation or because he simply didn’t know where to start. you can’t remember the last time a conversation like this was held to learn more about him since it was usually about you, maybe back when you first started dating and briefly discussed his late parents.
he started with his crush when he was in middle school since that was his earliest recollection of feeling love, who didn’t really count as a girlfriend or love because nothing was established and because of their age, but she was his first kiss that he ran away from right after because of how nervous he was, and it was never addressed again. apparently it was his second girlfriend who taught him everything he knew before he met you, saying she basically “trained him like a dog” to create a gentleman out of an inexperienced boy who still wasn’t quite sure how to treat a woman like a queen. she was a bit mean though, and he didn’t realize he dodged a bullet until later after realizing she was unnecessarily cruel to him for no reason multiple times if he didn’t do things exactly her way.
you suppose you always knew your husband wasn’t always the suave charmer you know him to be, but the image of younger him being clueless on matters of romance made you burst out laughing because of how you could hardly picture it.
he reached over to pinch your cheek affectionately, “are you of all people really making fun of me when you were too scared to hold my hand for me to escort you out of my car?”
“oh my god, that was on our first date, i can’t be blamed! i was shaking like crazy on that day— you had to tell me that you didn’t bite.”
“i was actually thinking about calling off our date last minute because of an emergency at work,” he confessed, “but i’m glad i didn’t and met the love of my life instead.”
“aw, you flirt.” the memory made you smile and feel all giggly inside, all the fears you had about him possibly having an affair falling away, yet there were still some lingering at the back of your mind with the mention of his job. “what happened at work?”
“nothing that important,” he said instantly like clockwork. “just some boring business things.”
you didn’t push it, not wanting to ruin the mood, but once again, your curiosity was just itching to ask more questions about his work life even if it was truly as boring as he says. you wanted to know every mundane detail whether it was what his office looked like or what the annoying co-worker did on a daily basis, anything to satiate your need to know more about this mysterious man you had made life-long vows with.
it all came to a head one night while you were cooking dinner, you heard the doorbell ring a dozen times in quick succession and answered it to find an older man with fiery red hair that seemed to match his temper. when he addressed your husband by name and verified your relationship with him, he began spewing all kinds of insults about the blood he had on his hands by luring innocent people to their deaths and you felt your heart drop. you tried to reason with him that there must have been some sort of mistake, barely able to get your words out in a fit of confusion and surprise at the absurd accusation, but he wouldn’t hear you out and pointed a finger in your face, asking if you had any idea what moon ki-yong was doing behind your back. 
at that very moment, he was suddenly seized by two anonymous men in all black, causing him to yell out in panic as they dragged him away and stuffed him in the back of a car before quickly driving off into the night without a trace. it all happened so fast, you just stood there with your mouth open in shock, wondering if you should call the police on what looked like an abduction. 
then your husband comes running up the steps with his locked briefcase in hand, shouting out your name, asking you if you’re okay, pulling you back inside the comfort of your shared home, and checking you all over to make sure you aren’t harmed in any way. when you ask about who that man was and what he was talking about, he simply told you he was some crazy customer who was dissatisfied with the company, was looking for someone to blame, and promised to tell you the details later. 
you didn’t tell him that you didn’t believe him, just pursed your lips and furrowed your brow for a second then let go of the topic like you always do, taking his coat off his shoulders with a peck on the lips asking how his day was. he reciprocated the kiss, said it was fine without anything special, and that he would shower before having dinner, something he didn’t really need to say since you already knew but stated anyway as per evening routine. 
as he headed up the stairs and disappeared from sight, you stared at the locked briefcase resting crookedly on the little entryway table and paused for a moment. if you did this, it would be a breach of privacy and a sign of growing distrust in your husband, but it could also answer all of the questions that never cease. 
your hands wouldn’t stop shaking involuntarily as you felt the cold black metal underneath your fingertips, marveling at the smooth material clean of any scratches or dents. fidgeting with the built-in combination lock, six number sequences started rushing through your mind as you started to hastily run through your options with a focus on dates. you were determined to only do this three times since you had no idea if an alarm would be set off or if it would close off permanently.
his birthday?
an electronic beep went off indicating you were incorrect, making you nervous.
your birthday?
wrong again, you only had one attempt left. you swallowed, shaking the accumulating sweat off your hands.
the date of your wedding?
you gasped as the locks suddenly flipped open and lightly knocked against the briefcase. it was undone, you could open it at any moment now and see it all.
and yet you still hesitated during this golden opportunity. was it the fact that the passcode to his most secret possession was the day you got married? was it guilt for going behind your husband’s back for answers instead of directly asking him? was it because you were afraid of what you would find if you discovered the red-haired man was telling the truth?
whatever it was, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding and locked it again, leaving it looking untouched and went back to playing dinner.
there was a heavy tension present at the dinner table that night, the only conversation present being him interrogating you about what the red-haired man talked about word-for-word. not really interrogating since his tone of voice was still calm and gentle as he asked questions, but you could see him fidgeting with his fork and not leaving much room for any other topic until he was sure you told him everything. he then sighed and claimed the man was insane, a gambling addict who was too deep in debt to afford treatment and was trying to drag him into his misery after meeting at the subway station. 
“ki-yong?”
he froze for a second, not used to hearing you use his real name rather than a pet name. “yes?”
“what do you do for a living, exactly?”
a pause, you watched him fidget with his chopsticks and shift the grains of rice around. “you know, business stuff— nothing you need to concern yourself about—“
“but i don’t know! that’s the thing!” you felt tears starting to well up behind your eyes, letting two years of frustration trickle through. “i know it doesn’t seem that important for me to know, but is it really so important that you leave me in the dark about it for the three years we’ve been lovers? and now some guy comes to our doorstep and tells me about how your job is playing games with people at the subway station to make them participate in death games?!” you took a deep breath, calming yourself down, “please, be honest with me, that’s all i want…”
“i-i…” that was the first time you’ve ever heard him stutter, and if the situation wasn’t so tense, you would be proud you finally got one-up on him. “i can’t say… it’s for your own safety and mine.”
“so he was right?”
he remained silent, trying to think of some way to counter what seong gi-hun had told you, but if you didn’t believe the elaborate lie he already told you and wanted to learn more, then he knew this was the end of the road. 
“i-i need some time to think…” you looked defeated and it broke his heart. “i’m going to my mom’s house tonight, i’ll be back tomorrow—“ you got up, not bothering to pack anything aside from your phone and your wallet.
he had prepared for you to start screaming and crying (not that he would blame you, i mean, who would willingly stay with a man who was complicit in mass murder), demanding a divorce and packing your things to shut the door for him never to be seen again with your unborn child. the strangely calm reaction was both a relief and extremely unsettling to him.
“i won’t be mad if you decide not to come back” he stated plainly, defeated in a state you’ve never seen him in before. “whatever choice you make, i’ll support you, just know i love you— more than anything else in this world.”
you stared at him blankly through the open doorway. perhaps your husband isn’t the perfect man you believed him to be, but he was as honest as he possibly could have been with you regarding the matter, and that’s enough. 
“i love you too, i’ll be back in the morning.” that’s how you feel at the moment, but you don’t know if you’ll feel the same way tomorrow morning when it sinks in.
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falesten-iw · 6 months ago
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When I first joined Tumblr, I had no idea what I was walking into. There’s no manual for navigating this wild, untamed corner of the internet. My first moment here? I was greeted by an image completely naked, no warning, no explanation. It was just there, bold and unapologetic. That’s when I realized: Tumblr is a place where anything can happen.
But for all its chaos, Tumblr has become something far greater than I ever expected. For us Palestinians, this platform isn’t just a space to scroll through memes or vent about life. It’s a lifeline, a place where we’ve taken the raw, messy energy of this site and turned it into a battleground for survival. Here, we tell our stories, raise funds, and fight for our lives.
I’ve seen campaigns soar past their goals, bringing hope to families barely holding on. But I’ve also seen campaigns like mine, ones that fight tooth and nail for every single dollar, every reblog, every addition, and every ounce of hope. My family’s lives depend on this.
It hasn’t been easy. Zionists flood all Palestinian words with hate, twisting truths and spreading lies. They aim to discredit us, to make people doubt us. It’s exhausting. Some nights, I sit with my phone in my hands, wondering if this fight is too big for me. But then something beautiful happens: a donation comes through, a kind message appears, or someone I’ve never met reblogs my story with words that feel like a warm embrace.
And through it all, people are starting to see the truth. The hate doesn’t drown us; it sharpens our voices. Every day, more people step forward to stand with us, to say, “I see you, I hear you, and I’m with you.” It’s those moments that keep me going.
To everyone who has already helped, whether through verification, donating, wrting post , reblogging, or simply sharing a kind word: thank you. You’ve done more for my family than I could ever put into words. But the reality is, we’re not there yet. My family is still waiting for a chance to breathe, to live without fear, to fill their empty stomachs with warm food, and to wrap themselves in clothes thick enough to keep out the bitter cold. They’re hungry, they’re freezing, and I can’t do this alone.
This fight is hard, but it’s not hopeless. Strangers have become friends, and friends have become family. Some of you have shown up in ways I never imagined, treating my family’s survival as if it were your own. That kind of solidarity? It’s powerful.
Tumblr might be chaotic, unpredictable, and sometimes downright bizarre, but it’s also the place where we’ve built something extraordinary: a community that refuses to look away from injustice. With your help, we can take this fight all the way. My family’s lives are within reach, and together, I know we’ll get there.
This campaign isn’t just about me. It supports 26 people, including two orphaned children and an injured family member suffering from hemiplegia after being hit by shrapnel during a bombing. Surgery is desperately needed to replace the infected and failing plates. The needs are urgent, and the future of 26 lives depends on your support.
The video showing the injured family member is shared before in this post: Link.
Please help us ! Donate and reblog this post to spread our story.
Vetted and shared by @90-ghost: Link.
Verified and shared by @el-shab-hussein: Link
Listed as number 282 in "The Vetted Gaza Evacuation Fundraiser Spreadsheet" compiled by @el-shab-hussein and @nabulsi : Link
Listed on the Butterfly Effect Project, number 957: Link
Additionally, Al Jazeera News has documented apart of my family's case: Link
If, for some reason, you couldn't donate via GoFundMe, you can donate via PayPal instead. Please keep the conversion rates in mind when donating through GoFundMe. Every 100 SEK is equivalent to 10 dollars, and 200 SEK equals 20 dollars and so on.
Note: There’s even a raffle for a handmade Palestinian thob if you want to participate : Link
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scentedpeachlandcreator · 7 months ago
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how i manifested my dream life with extremely hard circumstances + how you can too ♡
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Note: this is not my post and it's blushydior's post that everyone been searching for, so i thought why not making it as a post,and blushy if you see this, please don't kill me i know you said that you'll change your post but you disappeared After that.
♡ table of contents:
1. the importance of making this post
2.my take on manifestation + the 3D
3. HOW I DID IT - my journey in 4 phases i went through that include my mindset changes up to the moment i got my desires 
4. your new rules & routine from this moment on
5. a note from me!
6. frequently asked questions: separated into topics regarding the 3D, self concept + miscellaneous questions to have you leaving this post stress free.
now let’s get into it. read every bit of this post “ ~ ୨୧ ♡ ·
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I. THE IMPORTANCE OF MAKING THIS POST
i’ve been through it all. you can read my experiences from old life in the “my life before” section of my success story + here, here, here and here. this is my success story on how the law of assumption has changed my life. as you can see from the “how” section of the post, i had purposely left it short, sweet and simple to avoid people complicating the simplicity of the law of assumption. but as time went on, anons and other blogs made me realize that since people do tend to over-complicate the law, the need i felt to make an in-depth post on how i personally manifested through my hard circumstances grew strong.
my blog often highlights topics that pertain to mental health, so i want to make sure those who find themselves in the same situations as i once were feel seen, heard and loved. you are all so powerful, amazing and hold so much potential more than you know. with this post, i hope i am able to help you realize that fact to the best of my abilities.
𝐈𝐈. MY TAKE ON MANIFESTATION + THE 3D
something that you’ll see me say all the time is: “life is a blank canvas.” that’s because it truly is.
remember that you are working with the law of assumption. what you assume to be true, is true. nothing is set in stone unless you say it is. things have meaning only if you assign it one.
you are the sole creator of your life. you are the artist that controls the brush/pen, you control what goes on and off of this very malleable canvas we call life. you don’t have to do anything. therefore,
you don’t have to: affirm 24/7, be specific, word your affirmations correctly, listen to subliminals, ignore the 3D, be positive all the time, meditate, have high vibrations, script, visualize, do sats or lullaby, go into the void, affirm in the present tense, avoid the mirror, etc.
you can literally say a random word like “bonk” and if saying it means you have all your desires or money is constantly filling your bank account, then that’s what will happen!
“but what if my subconscious doesn’t know what it means?” your subconscious mind is literally you. it’s not some stranger separate from you. if you want a scene to play out a certain way on a specific date or a romantic partner with all the most perfect qualities even if you can’t name it all at the top of your head, your subconscious has your back with the details! you have your own back. don’t worry.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO IGNORE THE 3D.
read that again and again and again and again and-if your circumstances are quite literally in your face, how can you turn the other way and ignore it? you could if you wanted but you’ll only be doing more harm and we don’t want that, right?
“so then what do i do?” you KNOW it’s going to change. it’s challenging when you don’t fully believe the law to know it’s going to change, so for a start, tell yourself that this is not the end. why? because the moment you had a desire and claimed it as yours, it has already been set stone in the 4D so the 3D has no choice but to reflect it. this is your movie, you KNOW this is not the end. you are director and star of this movie! you control how it’s going to play out.
𝐈𝐈𝐈. HOW I DID IT - The 4 Phases (more so, 3)
PHASE 1:
i found out about manifestation from tiktok. from there i have tried scripting, law of attraction and had taken a liking into the craft. i tried it all until i found out about the law of assumption, sammy ingram and finally, tumblr.
PHASE 2:
upon finding out about loassumption tumblr, i had learned more and more about the law but as time went on, i had realized i had never really fully tried to apply the law. the idea just didn’t come about to apply it. as many others, i had overconsumed information, always wondering if i was doing it right, questioning the 3D,
so i took a break. upon discharge, i realized many things and decided to spend an extended amount of time alone, away from social media. i’m someone who values alone time as long as if it’s spent wisely.
during this time away from tumblr and sns platforms in general, constantly surrounded by other people’s takes, information, and opinions, i had learned so much about the law of assumption on my own! i went into the law of assumption with a fresh mind, actually applying the knowledge and overtime of affirming and persisting, i ACTUALLY understood the meaning behind “creation is finished. it is done.”
i’m advising you to step away from social media (that on it’s own has negative impacts) and be alone with your thoughts. i know your thoughts haven’t had it’s time to be alone because you’re most likely constantly seeking information to help you. and i don’t blame you. it’s just that, you are always bombarded by thoughts that aren’t your own, you barely give some time to yourself to think for yourself!
and if you can’t help but be on tumblr for other reasons than loassumption, unfollow blogs for the time being, scroll past informational posts to avoid second guessing your application. tell yourself that
YOU ARE DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT!
PHASE 3:
when it was time to apply the law, i simplified it. you choose what you desire, you affirm from your desire and persist. okay! got it. so that’s what i did. i affirmed whenever i thought about my desire, i kept saying that it is done! so in phase 2, i mentioned how i realized how creation was ACTUALLY done, right? before deciding to apply the law, i kept seeing posts saying that but i didn’t really fully understand it until the realization hit me during my time away from social media. (see? i love alone time. solitude is my bff) — here’s my breakdown for you:
once you decide a desire is yours to claim, THE SECOND you affirm that, in your head, imagination, your 4D, it is ALREADY yours. therefore, it has no choice to become physical reality. (this is why your subconscious only needs to hear things once in order for it to conform!)
it will always be yours for as long as you sustain that assumption (persist), it is yours! no matter what.
this is the meaning of “it is done.” it’s like telling a chef what dish you want, once they know what you want, they’ve got you covered. except that this chef is you. you know the details of your desire, you declare it’s going to conform instantly so why are you worrying? there is no need to worry.
informational post on the 4D + 3D here:
❝ If you judge after appearances, you will continue to be enslaved by the evidence of your senses. To break this hypnotic spell of the senses you are told, "Go within and shut the door,” The door of the senses must be tightly shut before your new claim can be honored .Instead of fighting against the evidence of the senses you claim yourself to be that which you desire to be. As your attention is placed on this claim, the doors of the senses automatically close against your former master (that which you were conscious of being). As you become lost in the feeling of being (that which you are now claiming to be true of yourself) the doors of the senses once more open, revealing your world to be the perfect expression of that which you are conscious of being. ❞
i kept time away from social media and being persistent really helped me be aware of my thoughts.
persistence has helped me:
be aware of thoughts that i wouldn’t have been able to catch before. for example, i was declaring that i have all of my desires and creation was done, but i found myself affirming “okay but where is it?” — this made me realize i was questioning my desires in my 3D even though i knew it was done in the 4D. (you don’t have to do this, you can imply your 3D conforms fast with whatever affs)
flip and interrupt my intrusive thoughts faster and faster the more i persisted. i hated my intrusive thoughts so much. like it was so annoying and hurtful. it was filled with replaying past scenarios that happened to me, things i wished had played out differently, just people who absolutely did not deserve the right to be occupying my mind and space! so i was grateful to learn that with persistence, i started to have less and less of those.
(see!! mental diet, persistence!! <3 this is how habits form and strengthen duhh. remember not to abandon common sense for the law)
AND THEN, PHASE 4:
i had entered sabbath, the state of the wish fulfilled, calm and relaxation that my desire has already manifested and there wasn’t nothing left for me to do other than persist. after so much persisting and saturating my mind with my affirmations, i reached being peace with my desires. i’m really glad i persisted. see how after persistence of assumptions, though false, will harden into fact? see how even your affirmations would feel “fake” at first but will soon feel natural to you? this means that i wasn’t questioning where it was, how long it was taking, etc. but this doesn’t mean i was ignoring my 3D. i saw it all but i knew it was going to change BECAUSE i felt peace in my inevitable desires.
then, i received my desires.
❝ I couldn’t possibly be worried about anything if I really believe that imagining creates reality. ❞
❝ When I speak of feeling I do not mean emotion, but acceptance of the fact that the desire is fulfilled. Feeling grateful, fulfilled, or thankful, it is easy to say, “Thank You,” “Isn’t it wonderful!” or “It is finished.” When you get into the state of thankfulness, you can either awaken knowing it is done, or fall asleep in the feeling of the wish fulfilled. ❞
𝐈𝐕. YOUR NEW RULES & ROUTINE
☆┆YOUR 3 NEW RULES ARE:
1, you have all your desires:
i have all of my desires.
creation is finished. it is done.
2. you manifest quickly and easily:
manifesting is always so easy and instant for me.
i always manifest within 2 days or less, the 3D conforms instantly.
the 3D instantly reflect my 4D.
the physical reality instantly reflects my 4D/imaginative reality.
3. you are okay because nothing can stop you from getting the inevitable:
everything is going to be okay because creation is done.
i am always aware of my thoughts. nothing can stop/get in the way of my desires.
no amount of intrusive thoughts, events and opinions of others have the power to stop my manifestations.
✉️: choose one affirmation from each list or make one of your own that makes you feel comfortable.
☆┆ROUTINE:
affirm on loop as an act of saturating your mind whenever you think of your desire until you feel satisfied,
in the morning, after you wake up: saturate your mind with affs.
read the manifesting vaunt below everyday (whenever you feel like it) — read it over and over again until you feel confident then go about your day!!
at night, before you sleep, affirm this:
“i kept all my thoughts in check today. i didn’t waver once. my mind is completely saturated with the new story.”
optional tip: if you want to saturate your mind even more as a start, you can set reminders with sticky notes around your space, have affs on your phone lock screen or wear a bracelet.
✉️ NOTE: soon enough, your mind will be saturated and you won’t need to do this anymore. this is just a start for those who battle intrusive thoughts!
let yourself feel any emotions that may come up because of your hard circumstances then once it’s out of your system, affirm your rules, especially rule #3!
do not consume any loassumption information if you know it will only cause you to second guess your ability. if you have the urge to ask a blog a question, try to make sense of what they will say and answer it yourself.
in times of doubt, remember that life is a blank canvas. your desire is set in stone, so your only task is to persist.
REASSURANCE VAUNT
creation is ACTUALLY finished. it is done. the second i claimed my desires as mine, it has already manifested itself in the 4D so it has no choice to present itself in the 3D! all i have to do is affirm and persist. i always have unwavering faith in my manifesting abilities and the law. i never fail. i am successful at every single thing i do. manifesting is so effortless. no amount of doubt, worry, fear, anxiety, intrusive thoughts or events can ever, and i mean EVER stop my manifestations. why? because i said so. this is MY life. i make the rules. so if i say i manifest easily, the 3D conforms instantly and that i have all of my desires, then it is a FACT. i’m literally unstoppable. everything i want is inevitable. my only task is to persist, sit back and relax as the 3D reflects my 4D. it all happens so fast, but what else do you expect from a master manifester like me?
SOMETHING TO NOTE:
most of the time, people think affirming on loop is saying it like a robot but what you don’t realize is that you’re affirming as if you’re reading a book. it’s not filled with enthusiasm but it’s not exactly monotone either. stop overthinking it. it’s like the voice you’re reading this post with. correct?
again, soon enough, your affirmations will feel natural and you won’t feel the need to affirm constantly. the routine above was given for those who battle intrusive thoughts, making your affirmations dominate to the point where you don’t waver.
QUOTES on STATES:
❝ I paid thirty dollars for my first suit. Today a suit will cost me $200.00, but regardless of the cost, when the suit is new I am aware of it. But let me wear it long enough for it to feel natural and I will no longer be conscious of it. The same is true for a state. You may desire the state of fame. If you will think you are famous and remain conscious of the state long enough to make it natural, as the thoughts flow from you they become a natural part of your body of beliefs, and the world will proclaim your fame. ❞
❝ I urge you to use your own wonderful creative power and deliberately move into the state of your choice. Make it now by occupying the state long enough so that it feels natural. Haven’t you had a suit of clothes that felt so new you were conscious of them every moment? I know when I bought my first suit I walked down Fifth Avenue thinking everyone I passed knew my suit was new. People passing paid no attention to me, but I was so aware, so conscious of my new suit. That’s exactly that happens when you move into a new state. If the state of affluence is new, you think everyone knows it, but no one knows or cares whether you are rich or poor, so walk in the state until it becomes natural. The moment the feeling is natural, wealth is yours! ❞
𝐕. ENDING NOTE
i love you. read that again. you can do it. read that again. i am so so so so proud of you. read that again! you are so strong, you have SOO much potential and power. it’s time for you to tap into it, angel. stop making excuses. stop telling yourself you can’t do it. stop the nonsense! you’ve dealt with your hard circumstances long enough, it’s time for you to turn to the person who can make that change (you) and make it happen. i’m really sorry you have to go through what you did. you certainly do not deserve the unkind treatment. give yourself a hug and tell yourself that this. is. it. you’re going to make the change. you know it and i do too. it’s possible. nothing is impossible for the person who believes! keep the faith in yourself. nothing can stop you.
it’s like those movies where the mc finds out they hold so much power. they doubt it because of the life they’ve had so far but once they give it a shot, they become the most powerful hero ever. you are that hero!!!
i love you and i am, again, giving you the biggestttt hug ever.
now, with that being said, @blushydior​ will no longer be taking asks regarding this topic. i’ve cleared most of the questions that could ever arise. you don’t need my guidance anymore after this post! im seeing you off now. i love you. stay safe. know that you’re loved and hold the power to change your life.
— kisses from bambi ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡
ps. make sure you clicked the words that have links! <3 (the links are missing)
𝐕𝐈. FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Something you wish you could’ve told yourself before you manifested it all to make things easier for anyone struggling:
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
you guys are beating yourself up for something so simple. take a step back and realize that. you’re already dealing with such hard circumstances, so why are you literally degrading yourself for something so within your power and reach? tell yourself everything is going to be okay. you’re always doing your best. you deserve the WORLD.
I could write a whole novel, combine all the posts on tumblr teaching the law of assumption, and every helpful ask out there but at the end of the day, YOU are the only person who could change your life. YOU make the call. turn every doubtful question to a positive one, when in doubt, turn inwards toward the 4D and know that it is real. it is done the second you affirmed it so.
SPEND TIME ALONE.
i can NOT stress this enough. i didn’t include the details of my time alone in phase 2 for nothing. you’ll see that you can answer your own questions. you’ll catch the thoughts you missed because you have always been so adamant on getting answers to questions you already knew. take a deep breathe and stay firm.
SEE WHAT’LL HAPPEN IF YOU DON’T GIVE UP.
What did you affirm to get your dream life?
basically my affirmations i gave above and these. all i used were blanket affirmations.
What does persisting mean to you? What does persisting really feel like? Is it just like a mental diet? or what?
“persisting is sticking to what you want / the end no matter what you’re shown, told, and what you experience + picking yourself up after letting any negative emotions & thoughts pass by.” — blushydior from this ask here (sadly the link is missing:()
+ keeping your thoughts in line of the same category. to word this in a different way, i can affirm so many affirmations just as long as they mean the same thing to me!
“it also is a mental diet. we’re always persisting in something. it’s just a matter of what you’re persisting in. you either persist in your desire or negative/non-beneficial thought 24/7.”
“in your post about how you changed your life, you said you just affirmed and persisted. but from your other posts it seems like you read neville goddard books. so did you just affirm or did you do imaginal acts too? i get confused when people say “just affirm and persist” cause neville never said that.” (original ask here) (note from Eli: the link is missing).
“yes, i read his books and sometimes i would do imaginal acts but i would only do that bc it helped me get by my circumstances, yk? like if i was overwhelmed i would just daydream lol. its like how i read books to escape to another world. but i would say, affirming and persisting was what i focused more on.
i just used what worked for me and used his quotes as a reminder of the power of man. i didn’t want to bound myself to one’s teaching constantly worrying if im doing it “right” or not so instead, i went back to his quotes that consisted of telling me to persist, look inwards, finding confirmation in my imagination, etc whenever i needed a pick me up.
but correct me if i’m wrong, i’m pretty sure many of the success stories he shared consisted of people simply decreeing their desires and feeling the wish fulfilled simply by repetition and acceptance of their assumption.”
What is saturating your mind?
read about it here (the link is missing, but Basically it is repeating an affirmation every minute or hour until you feel fulfilled)
Do we have to believe our affirmations? Did you ever doubt the law in the process?
no, i did not believe my affirmations and YES of course i doubted the law but i kept persisting either way because what could i lose? and here i am.
Did you just affirm, persist, maintain a mental diet and that’s it? No SATS, going to the void, lullaby, repeating affirmations? Did you just got it sleep?
just affirming and persisting. sure, the occasional lullaby, i usually affirmed for 10 seconds max before i gave up. i couldn’t sleep without imagining some romantic scenario LOL #bambiexposed
How to deal with manipulation and narcissism?
remind yourself that you’re in advantage because you know about the law of assumption. life is a dream, you can literally have whatever you want just by affirming. if you know that, why allow yourself succumb to other people’s thoughts and beliefs? i couldn’t allow other people’s thoughts ruin my chance of living my dream life. the thought of it alone gave me the worst feeling.
How did you tackle the feelings of having no hope? + After being in the victim state for so long what did you do to get yourself out and actually stay out?
i persisted on loop whenever i doubted the law. i reminded myself that it doesn’t hurt to just be quiet, affirm and persist to live my dream life. just do it. you gain nothing from turning back to your old habits. see what’ll happen if you don’t give up. ❝ Do you always turn to your imagination and, no matter what happens, do you remain faithful to the state imagined? If you do, you have passed the test. But if every little rumor, doubt, or fear can move you around like a pawn on a chessboard, then you are not keeping the faith! ❞ ❝ Objects seem so independent of our perception of them that we incline to forget that they owe their origin to imagination.❞
What was the timeframe of when you got your desires?
about a week after deciding to be strict with self discipline, mind you, i was dealing with hard circumstances and intrusive thoughts for years. within this time span, i had entered sabbath so i immediately got my desires.
How did you kept a positive mindset when it looked like there was no movement?
refer back to phase 3
What was your affirming routine?
AT FIRST, when i started to get sick of overconsumption and not getting my desires, i knew my mind wasn’t saturated/my desires were not my dominant thoughts. so, i decided to be strict with myself. i reminded myself with pieces of paper in my room that said: ❝ PERSIST. new story only!❞ ❝ AFFIRM!❞
❝ 1.) the 3D conforms instantly.
2.) AFFIRM THE DESIRED
3.) BE LOT.❞
and taped them on the wall infront of my bed & one on my door so i can see it before i head out.
i didn’t need them anymore after a few days. (phase 3 & 4)
What did you do on all the days you woke up and things were still the same?
stop affirming that you don’t see results. i flipped the thought of “nothing’s changed.” to “i am in my desired reality, it is done.” and so on. be stern and remind yourself that you are in control. don’t fall prey to the 3D. turn inwards, find confirmation in the 4D. read quotes above.
How did you not react to the 3D?
i allowed myself to be angry. if i wanted to cry, i did. if i wanted to vent, i did. i ranted my feelings out in my head, aloud or in a journal then proceeded to go back to the new story after i cooled down.
But isn’t ranting “not letting the old story die out?”
you and i could rant until our minds are cleared, just as long as you flip my thoughts, you are on the right track. i ranted for 2% of my 24 hour days. the other 98% i was persisting in the fact that creation was done. as “time” went on, it began to feel more natural and i felt more at ease. i held onto that feeling because i knew this was when i would get my desires and i did. letting out and actually feeling your feelings is important. you’re not a robot.
Did you script how your life would be?
no.
(.𖥔 ݁ note from Eli: here's her post about her life before and After she changed it with LOA, anyway i wanted to make it in a post since the Google document can't let you make a copie of it and plus you can't take screenshots which René didn't allow)
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landoughnut · 2 months ago
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My Protector
♡ masterlist - request
♡ pairing - charles leclerc x fem!reader
♡ summary - charles won't allow people to speak poorly of his girlfriend, and neither will the other drivers
♡ warnings - protective bf charles, protective platonic grid, rude journalists
♡ w/c & a/n - 1.6k | girl dinnerrrr
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The Monaco paddock was always chaotic, but today felt different. You could feel the tension in the air as you walked past the Ferrari garage, hearing snippets of whispered conversations and catching sideways glances from the media personnel.
The familiar scent of rubber and fuel that usually brought you comfort now seemed to mix with something more toxic – speculation and judgment.
"...just a distraction..." "...PR stunt..." "...affecting his performance..." "...can't focus with her around..."
Your stomach twisted. The headlines had started appearing after Charles' podium in Barcelona last weekend. What should have been a moment of celebration had turned into a big thing of speculation, with certain journalists suggesting your relationship was the reason he hadn't secured pole position instead of just a podium.
The fact that the Ferrari's pace genuinely hadn't been there for pole seemed irrelevant to them. You'd seen the social media posts, the opinion pieces, the "expert" analyses of how Charles' racing line had changed since you entered his life – as if your presence somehow affected the physics of his car.
You adjusted your Ferrari team pass, a movement that had become almost nervous lately. Eight months into your relationship with Charles, and this was the first time you'd faced such intense scrutiny. Sure, there had always been paparazzi photos and social media speculation, but this felt different – more personal, more accusatory.
You thought back to the previous night, how Charles had held you close in his apartment, promising that it would all blow over soon.
"They're just looking for stories," he'd said, his fingers tracing patterns on your back. "They do this every season. Remember when they said Fernando was too old? Or when they claimed Max had lost his edge after settling down? It's all nonsense."
But standing here now, under the weight of dozens of judgmental stares, his words felt distant. You clutched your coffee cup tighter, the warmth seeping into your palms providing little comfort.
The same coffee shop where you and Charles had first met – where he'd literally crashed into your life, sending your original drink flying all over your favorite shirt. The memory usually made you smile, but today it felt like ammunition for those claiming your relationship was somehow created by PR teams.
You were about to duck into the Ferrari hospitality area when a microphone was thrust in your face. The reporter – one you recognized from a particularly nasty article last week – wore an expression of barely concealed hostility. Behind her, several other journalists gathered like sharks sensing blood in the water.
"Is it true that Ferrari PR orchestrated your relationship with Charles Leclerc to improve his public image after his difficult 2024 season?" The reporter's voice was sharp, accusatory. "Sources suggest the timing was very convenient. And what do you say to fans who believe you're compromising his focus on the championship?"
Your heart pounded. The memory of your first real meeting with Charles flashed through your mind – how he'd accidentally spilled coffee on you in that little Monaco café, how he'd insisted on buying you a new shirt, how you'd ended up talking for hours about everything except Formula 1.
How he'd been so nervous asking for your number that he'd nearly knocked over a second coffee. How your first date had been at a tiny restaurant far from the glamorous spots he usually frequented, because he wanted somewhere quiet where you could really talk. Nothing about it had been orchestrated or planned.
Before you could respond, a familiar voice cut through the air like a knife.
"That's enough." Charles' tone was ice-cold, nothing like the warm, playful voice you were used to. He stepped between you and the reporter, his usually gentle features set in hard lines. "You can question my driving. You can criticize my strategy calls. But you do not get to fabricate stories about my personal life or harass the woman I love."
The reporter stumbled back, but pressed on. "But Mr. Leclerc, your qualifying performances since beginning this relationship—"
"Have nothing to do with his relationship," Max Verstappen's Dutch accent interrupted as he appeared beside Charles. The Red Bull driver crossed his arms, looking thoroughly annoyed. "Maybe focus on the actual racing instead of making up stories? Charles has been driving better than ever – or did you miss the battle we had in Barcelona? Because I certainly haven't forgotten how hard he made me work for that win."
"The media's treatment of partners in this paddock has always been disgraceful," Lewis Hamilton added, joining the growing circle of drivers. His voice carried the weight of experience, of having seen this pattern repeat too many times. "We're here to race, but we're also human beings with real relationships. This needs to stop. The constant scrutiny of our personal lives, the baseless accusations – it's not journalism, it's harassment. I've seen too many relationships strained or broken because of this kind of pressure, and it's unacceptable."
Charles' hand found yours, squeezing gently. The gesture said everything words couldn't – I'm here, I've got you, we're in this together. You squeezed back, drawing strength from his presence, from the familiar calluses on his palm, from the subtle way his thumb stroked your skin.
"For the record," Charles addressed the now-silent group of journalists, his voice carrying the quiet authority he rarely showed outside of the cockpit, "my relationship is not up for discussion. My performance this season? Six podiums, two wins. If that's what you call being 'distracted,' then maybe I should have been distracted years ago."
His accent grew slightly stronger with emotion, something that only happened when he was truly passionate about what he was saying. "And since you're so interested in timing, let me tell you about timing. The timing of meeting someone who makes you want to be better, who supports you through the hard days, who understands the pressure and still loves you anyway – that's not something any PR team could orchestrate."
A few chuckles rippled through the crowd. Even Lando Norris, who was passing by, couldn't help but grin.
"Mate, if anything, she's made you faster," Lando called out. "Remember when you were single and finished P4 in Saudi? Dark times, dark times indeed. Besides, have you seen them together? If that's PR, then I need to fire my entire media team."
You couldn't help but smile as the tension broke. Charles turned to you, his green eyes soft again, the protective anger melting into that familiar warmth that made your heart skip. A strand of his dark hair had fallen across his forehead, and this time, you didn't resist the urge to brush it back. His eyes darkened slightly at your touch, and before you could process what was happening, he pulled you close.
The kiss wasn't planned or polished for the cameras. It was real and a little messy and perfect – the kind of kiss that said everything words couldn't. His hands cradled your face with the same precision he used on the steering wheel, but so much more tender.
You could feel his heart racing against your palm where it rested on his chest, could taste the mint from his morning coffee, could hear the surprised murmurs and camera clicks around you. But none of it mattered, because Charles was kissing you like you were the finish line he'd been racing toward all his life.
When you finally pulled apart, his forehead rested against yours. "Je t'aime," he murmured, just for you. "Let's get some coffee before practice? There's that little place around the corner... unless you're worried I'll spill it on you again?" His playful smile was back, the one that had made you fall for him in the first place.
As you walked away, his arm protectively around your waist, you could hear Carlos Sainz expertly deflecting the remaining reporters with his characteristic charm. "My teammate's relationship? Why don't we talk about the new upgrades instead? They're much more interesting, I promise you. Or we could discuss how Charles has actually improved his tire management this year – which, by the way, happened after he met her, so maybe we should be thanking her?"
The paddock might be a pressure cooker of speculation and drama, but in moments like these, it felt more like a family – one that protected its own. Even Pierre Gasly, passing by with his race engineer, gave you a supportive nod. "They're just jealous," he said loud enough for the lingering journalists to hear. "Charles is driving better than ever, and they can't stand that their narrative doesn't fit."
Later that afternoon, you watched from the Ferrari garage as Charles attacked the Monaco streets with precision and passion. Each sector time flashed green, then purple. The garage held its collective breath as he crossed the line for his final qualifying lap.
"Pole position, pole position!" his race engineer's voice crackled over the radio. "P1, Charles, P1! Absolutely magnificent lap!"
In parc fermé, he pulled you into another kiss, this one full of adrenaline and joy and full of love. His race suit was damp with champagne from the celebrations, but you didn't care. This was your Charles – not the media's version, not the speculation's target, but the man who had stolen your heart in that coffee shop and continued to amaze you every day.
"See?" he whispered in your ear, still holding you close. "You're not a distraction. You're my strength. My lucky charm. My everything."
The next day's headlines would focus on his blistering lap time, his masterful sector three, his perfect strategy. The negative articles seemed to vanish in the face of his success, though you knew they might return. But it didn't matter anymore – not when you had Charles, not when you had the support of the entire paddock family.
And if anyone still thought you were a distraction, well, the trophy sitting in Charles' Monaco apartment would beg to differ.
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