#who could have guessed? :V
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look i usually hate movie reviews in the shape of unfunny parroted to death online jargon but. credit where it's due, a perfect summary
#is it funny? no. is it the gospel truth? yes.#the man was a romantic. i would even dare to say that he may have dipped a toe on the stream of consciousness movement#his work 'a defence of poetry' has already some vague shadows hinting to the stream of consciousness.#moreso you can definitely draw comparisions between percy and william james' words regarding art and poetry#not just the content but how the ideas are presented#and who was the person who coined the term stream of consciousness in the first place? oh my it was william james himself#who could have guessed? :V#anyway case and point: homeboy was not goth op is right#and now i'm shutting up i've talked about literature worth of an entire week sayonara
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lifes fleetin do whteve yu want & die 2be a buttrfly aftrwrds
Ta p in to no blurry
#thank u to my gramaw friends who r transwomen in their early 30s-late 40s n took care of me i hold the memories i have of uall so dear#sorry draiwng transfem toshiro made me ee feel so remembering of the past#i've been painting a while so i didnt feel like colorin sorry#dungeon meshi fanart#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#toshiro nakamoto#nakamoto toshiro#hien#idk if i should tag falin since she has like. very small presence here#veen feling like daytime drinking#anyways i wish there was more acceptance towards falins and toshiros dynamic with eachother bc i think it could b sweet/fun#for me its moreso olatonci abd such .... 2 transexuals who r friends & like bugs & r quiet most of the time#i guess its just bc i grew up w transwomen alongside my life but truly there needs2 bmore asian transwomen in this worldr.....#we need mroe transexuals and bakla and bayot and beki and tibo and tbirds now more thwan ever#i am not a v creative ir imaginaitave perosb so i love all of the peeopler who ware making trans toshiro hcs#it is like bein given bountiful rain duriign a seasons drought .... as a flower is to a bee
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so there's a reason my new job got back to me so quickly about my application and that's bc it's an absolute fucking shambles like actually perfect timing for me to decide to rewatch the bear bc i have never more felt like ive been thrown into a broke on-its-knees establishment trying to crawl its way up the ladder where i am somehow a godsend to them. my old job was crazy and shambolic in the sense that the industry is just Like That but this one?????? insanity. every 5 mins i am questioning what im doing with my life. ive already had a walk-in fridge moment
#so i explained before that there's 3 venues and on my very first shift they had me doing the restaurant venue for 2 hours#which was FINE like i was a bit cautious bc my manager is VERY stressed all the time and the place generally feels like it's falling apart#not the building itself just. the way it's run like it's just got new owners and the previous manager apparently#EMPTIED THE TILLS AND TRASHED THE PLACE like cost them THOUSANDS of pounds and on top of that#there was beef with the head chef and the new owners that meant he left and took the ENTIRE BACK OF HOUSE WITH HIM#THERE ARE NO KITCHEN STAFF ATM. I HAVE TO LIE AND TELL CUSTOMERS WE DONT HAVE FOOD ATM BC OF 'REFURBISHMENT'#WHEN IN ACTUALITY THE /RESTAURANT/ DOESNT HAVE CHEFS. DO YOU KNOW HOW CRAZY THAT IS#and then the front of house staff are very lacking aside maybe 2 people we're ALL NEW and all of them EXCEPT ME#LIKE LITERALLY JUST ME IM THE ONLY EXCEPTION. ALL OF THEM ARE UNTRAINED#so when i applied with bar training coffee training and very solid waitressing skills they genuinely treated me like a saviour#like i am FENDING off shifts tbh im in a v good position bc they need me too much to get shitty w me if i refuse hours but i can literally#have as many as i want bc they will just give me them. like they're obsessed w me im rota'd for over 60 hours this week#but anyway that very first shift after 2 hours in the restaurant i then walked to the mini golf venue on the OTHER SIDE OF TOWN#and my manager stayed for 30 MINUTES. IF THAT. and showed me around the place + how to close THEN LEFT ME THERE#FIRST DAY HE GAVE ME THE KEYS AND LEFT ME TO RUN AN ENTIRE VENUE. IT'S NOT SMALL EITHER IT'S A WHOLE BAR#AND I HAD TO CLOSE ON MY OWN TOO and ironically the shift itself went rlly well like it was so chill#it was kinda boring but honestly i kinda rated it it's v easy money and the close went perfectly nothing cropped up that i was unsure about#and then. AND THEN. i havent even ranted to my mutuals about this yet bc i was acc so horrified by it but i locked the front doors#and went to lock the gate AND THE KEY GOT STUCK IN THE LOCK. WOULD NOT COME OUT. HELLA VS KEYS ROUND 3927593#my mum even showed up and tried to help me wrestle this thing out i called my manager and he literally told me to just snap it#bc he'd rather a snapped key that NO ONE could get out than just leave it there overnight but bc of my recent house key moment#i was like AM I FUCK SNAPPING THIS KEY. WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING. so i had to just leave it and at the time#i was realllyyyyyyyyyy beating myself up but my manager is actually rlly nice he's just stretched v thin#and ive also had time to be like uhh actually they shouldnt have left a random 21 y/o girl alone with the keys on her first day#omg i havent even talked about what happened on saturday. ACTUAL SHAMBLES#LIKE THIS /\/\ ISNT EVEN CLOSE TO EVERYTHING! IM RUNNING OUT OF TAG ROOM! IM GONNA REBLOG THIS TONIGHT W MORE PROBABLY!#BC GUESS WHO IS WORKING A CLOSE LATER AT THE NIGHTCLUB THEN OPENING THE RESTAURANT AT 8AM. GUESS#hella slaves to capitalism
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love how fics describe eliot's hands as rough and calloused when in the show he has the prettiest softest little prince hands
#also all the scars he supposedly has and in the tap out job (which is one of the very few if only times we actually see him shirtless)#(which by the way i v much enjoy that he's not objectified into some sort of Muscle Machine)#(also i'm very glad it was 2008/9 when they made s2 so they didn't force him through some insane training regime so that you could see-#-every muscle in his body and he was more dehydrated than king tutankhamun ii's mummy)#anyways in the tap out job we see him shirtless and he's just like. perfect baby skin smooth lmao#like i guess they thgought it didn't matter or something but with his backstory he SHOULD have scars#so like i appreciate everyone who writes / draws him as having scars etc and will just accept that canon is Wrong#anyways.
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Very strange to me that the longer supernatural went on, the kinder it was to John Winchester and the uglier it made Chuck.
There’s something very. I don’t know. “Don’t blame your father, your father never did anything wrong. Blame God. Blame this thing that’s been secretly making your life worse this whole time, pulling the strings, controlling you and everyone around you.”
And the further we get into the show, the more Chuck becomes a Writer, rather than it being about God as a Father. (Never completely losing that aspect, obviously, just like Chuck was always a writer, but one of these parallels clearly superceded the other in terms of importance to the story.)
#this isn’t John winchester crit ‘he was a terrible monster we should blame for everything’ post tbc#it’s about how the show lost its teeth about fatherhood right when it needed them most. and it still gives some bangers! but. this big one.#this big one flops for me.#idk maybe its just a side effect of 2/4 of the archangels being dead. Lucifer not being a real character anymore. Michael busy being gay.#like who is Chuck supposed to father figure to here? I mean there’s cas but that was never the same relationship as the archangels to god.#angels to god fatherhood relationship v different. explored in different ways.#and I mean Chuck himself is just a cartoon villain by the end too. there’s v little nuance left in him.#I guess there could have been something with Jack. oh the good spn in my head where Chuck butts into the Jack custody battle.#is this child a threat to him? better make sure he’s loved as The Best Grandad Ever.#there could have been one thing the winchesters & Lucifer could team up/agree about: get Chuck the fuck away from Jack#anyway I digress. just thinking thoughts.#spn#chuck shurley#john winchester
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what do you mean venom the last dance comes out tomorrow. im still in a full logan kinshift how am i supposed to appreciate the grandeur of the venom finale when im Some Guy who only got symbioted once
#and i dont want to trigger a venom kinshift i want to stay logan longer#but i really want to see the movie......#i guess i do have dp&w on dvd i could always try sandwhiching the movie#dp&w tonight venom tomorrow and then when i come home one more dp&w rewatch#usually a strong emotional resonance with a source material is what causes a shift but ive never Tried to trigger or block one before#so i'd be kind of experimenting trying to balance it out#or i could watch venom and ride the waves of it and then attempt to retrigger logan when it dies down....???#idk. idk. ive never experimented with it before as i said#ive always just let it happen to me#but im really feeling this logan thing i want to stay myself longer#hell who knows maybe i'll end up an unholy venogan amalgam.#wade logan eddie V all at once. big ole brain foursome
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Health paranoia is annoying as heck. >_>;
#am I 70% certain that half of the sensations I’m experiencing are just fuckin’ anxiety?#yes#does the fact remain that my back and arm have been painful and/or numb off and on for a while now#and that just now I felt properly lightheaded for the first time since my med change?#also yes#(the arm/back bs is real and I have an appointment tomorrow.)#(the lightheadedness is SUSPICIOUSLY precisely timed with me worrying about heart attack symptoms 🙄)#edit: 98% certain. shockingly I felt fine after being distracted for 10 minutes. who could have guessed!#arm and back are still v unhappy though. so. yeah. appointment tomorrow I guess#life flails#health flails#complaining#my stuff
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OUGHHH I FOROGR
#i was supposed to go to my sisters house ;;;;#in my defense i was planning to go to both of my sisters houses on the same day#except i had to wait for a confirmation from my other sister as to WHAT DAY would be good#and it is now 7pm on sunday. i had all weekend.#my sister never fucking replied to me <3<3<3 guess ill#uh#fucking uhh#NOT teach her crochet#but it's also v late to get up and go out on a work day >:(#and i couldve had this done earlier. i COULD have had this done YESTERDAY#of my sister had actually replied#but nooooo my brain got stuck in 'just wait for confirmation before finalizing plans' mode#and now it's fucking 7pm on fucking sunday when i texted her on fucking FRIDAY MORNING.#and i forgot to actually PLAN THIS OUT#BC I WAS STUCK IN WAITING MODE.#gods. im just.#hhhhhhh#and now i have to figure out a different time for this bc i cant. i cant go out and do shit at 7pm.#sigh#my other sister is gonna be annoyed about it and i know that#shh ac#edit: cus i dont feel like adding on to it#but yeah i kinda figured i would get a response like that 👍#tbf my message was a little passive aggressive but like dude. i was ALSO in a shitty space all weekend.#its sooo funny that she seems to think that shes the only one who ever gets into shitty moods. lmao. lol even.#and im not saying i dont understand not responding to texts when in a bad mental state-#hell i left my mom on read for 2 days and i still have other messages ik i should respond to#but like. when it comes to messages that are time sensitive like that like. i could accept a 'no not this week' or whatever#its just#urgh
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reading springfest now after everything in nagazora is making me crave more fu hua and mei interactions. i feel like thus far in my go through, i've never actually seen them interact, but it's kinda fun that the person who made the recommended reading order put springfest after nagazora (though of course this is probably in preparation for whatevers going on with senti/fu hua rn in ch 19)
but the way that the empyrea isolates herself so she doesn't have any attachment to those who she will outlive and how she winds up becoming lonely as a result threw me back to mei isolating herself in world serpent so that she can protect kiana and just... idk..... i think the two talk about that isolation would be interesting
also. i love fu hua. she's still at the top of my list for best character so i'm just a happy little guy getting more fu hua content now in the story :> yippee fu hua
#idk who to ramble to about honkai so hi#avil plays hi3#ill probably liveblog my thoughts as i read through springfest and UH#blade of the empyrean!#but im excited :> then after that i gotta go through the 7 blades visual novel ^7^ that one has sushang!! i havent met her in the game yet#but i do have her !!!#its kinda interesting though because sushangs ultimate in hi3 is yanqing's ultimate in hsr. or i guess yanqing as a boss???#idk. so im like HMMMMMMMM WHATS UP THERE WHATS GOING ON#i wonder if theres a character sorter for hi3 actually#if i had to say who my top 5 are atm for honkai#its probably like fu hua mei kiana kevin and sakura ???#kiana is so easy. like if i loved oz vessalius how could i NOT love kiana we sure love vessel characters LJSHDFLASKDHFLAKSH#maybe its also recency effect though for mei but also. characters who isolate thinking that its the best htey could do to protect#like NO YOU IDIOT GET LOVED!!!!! GET L O V E D#they kinda get me#AND WELT I FORGOT WELT HOW COULD I DO THAT......#i feel like welt over kevin tbh#but thats super hard to say on my end alkdjfha#YOU KNOW i wouldve also said rita because i think rita is so fun#but i still dotn know enough about her#but personality wise i think shes so funny in a very stereotypical anime villain esque way LOL#also she is so catty too like what was she doing picking a fight with natasha LKAJHDLAFKJSDFH#OH I ALSO LOVE RITA AND NATASHA...#tbh i havent run into a character that i absolutely Hate in honkai yet....#at least not that i remember#if i hated them i probably forgot about them LMAOOOOO#like even durandal? i love durandal in the manga. she doesnt really stand out to me MUCH yet in the game but i loved her a lot in the manga#but for me durandal is low on the list for now. but that doesnt mean i dislike her i think shes cool but just hasnt done anything in#particular that caught my attention yet alskjdfahl#rambling WHOOPS ASLKJDFA
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Re-tag drop: Yelan
#yelan: ic. [ that's a worst-case scenario. but all too often; the most pessimistic speculation turns out to be the closest to the truth. ]#yelan: inquiries. [ oh? you'd like to know more about me? what will you give in exchange then? ]#yelan: countenance. [ an old friend of mine once privately commented to me that yelan “is always smiling; but never with her eyes.” ]#yelan: introspection. [ like a phantom she appears in various guises at the center of events; and disappears before the storm stops. ]#yelan: meta. [ the chances are if i open this door; there can be no witnesses left alive. is that a sufficient reason for you? ]#yelan: little notes. [ how can things ever be the same again: knowing your life was saved when others weren't? salvation can be a burden. ]#yelan: wishes. [ that which hides inside her… that constant calling; it is the blood of heroes which has been howling for 500 years. ]#yelan: etc. [ every round of finger-guessing is a tiny adventure; and every roll of dice sends sporadic thrills down her spine. ]#yelan: home. [ i'm guessing you've fallen for the rumors about me being very wealthy; having high demands for my standards of living? ]#yelan: yanshang. [ the teahouse has really brightened up after the boss took over and kicked the fatui and gamblers out. ]#yelan: lantern rite. [ every year on this day; the lanterns light up the night. may the fire never die and may humanity endure. ]#yelan: chasm. [ perhaps she will plunge into that darkness one day; and the ill fate that once befell her ancestors shall find her too. ]#yelan: scope. [ i serve ningguang. the tianquan of the qixing. the scope of my work includes some of liyue's biggest secrets. ]#yelan: weaponry. [ water. divided it is as streams uncounted: close yet untangled. united it is as a giant wave: inexorable; unstoppable. ]#yelan: uncle tian. [ there's nothing wrong with wanting to win other people's respect. but when has uncle tian looked down on anyone? ]#yelan: ningguang. [ we both made a mistake: we shouldn't have involved ordinary folk in what we do. / ordinary folk? ]#yelan: xiao. [ you think you're oh-so cold and ruthless. i'm not buying it. - losing one of us so the rest can escape? some victory that is#yelan: keqing. [ if something happens that they didn't anticipate; it throws their plans into oblivion. but the yuheng is different. ]#yelan: ganyu. [ i could never work non-stop like she does. certainly not at that level of efficiency. i guess being half-adeptus has its pe#yelan: yanfei. [ when i help her out; i always get some invaluable leads in return. gotta say though: i think she respects me a little much#yelan: traveler. [ you don't have to be on guard around me. i never scheme against people who have my stamp of approval. ]#yelan: v youth. [ you're still young. be patient. believe in yourself; and don't look outside yourself to prove your value. ]#yelan: v. pre-qixing. [ i don't do these things to help the powerful or mighty get rid of dissident forces. but because water too has a sou#yelan: v. qixing. [ seeing isn't always believing. and if you can't trust your eyes; you certainly can't trust rumors. ]#yelan: liyue. [ liyue will never plunge into disaster without clue of the danger like it once did. she will see that it is not unprepared.#yelan: wriothesley. [ don't fight over fleeting gains or losses. focus on where your heart is leading you and move forward. ] delusionaid.#yelan. [ i can't change the facts. but if it's a choice between the cold; hard truth and blissful unawareness: i'll take the former. ]
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Man. I do my first stream in two years and suddenly Streamelements is flooding me with emails for sponsorships. I check a few days ago, nine active campaigns, six still accepting people.
tf happened to like, getting a single Raid or War Thunder offer every few months? God damn.
#sponsorship#raid shadow legends#streamelements#to be honest the old offers were better because Plarium structured their payout in a way that almost encouraged people to smurf accounts#so if your community wanted to dump a few hours into it#they could like max out your payout with only like five people#the new ones have like#actual gameplay milestones associated with payouts#I guess Plarium is done trying to push their games on PC#and the other companies actually want people#instead of just trying to inflate signup numbers#shame honestly#I'd never do a Raid sponsorship again unless I absolutely desperately needed the money#I don't want to push shit I think is bad or harmful#but people aren't lying when they say Plarium paid fuck you money#shit could genuinely keep your favorite trans V-Tuber living on poverty income able to afford groceries#not saying that's me#but like I know people who I wouldn't blame for taking them up
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Philippus? Wym philippus this is a wholeass other woman?????? She's white?????? Guys come on now
ALSO cursed white Euboea in this same sequence.... homeboy she's Asian please stop
Joe Phillips I'm sorry but this is some shitty ass guest pencilling how can you not know anything abt what these people look like thats literally your job... you also just needed to read the issue before this to know?
Editors should have caught this one these are major Amazon characters
#also i did a quick wiki check for one thing and basically confirmed that i was right about this entire arc so i win i guess 💪💪💪💪#like “the amazons are starting some crazy murder shit!” are they really now. which amazons may i ask? are you sure its not the bana-#oh yep its the baba mighdall. well then. TOTALLY didnt see this coming (said w love)#i mean its like maybe im being perceptive but they literally showed two of them in their armor and had one say phthia aka one of the#founders of the bana. like okay i had to do a wiki to check that and obvi id know slightly more than a pérez run reader abt them#(but not much honestly ive read the same stuff they wouldve just plus some fandom osmosis/knowing who artemis is) but i digress. do think he#maybe could have put showing them off but i understand the motive of not wanting readers to go months thinking the amazons were chopping#ppls heads off. but they could have teased the mind control red herring (probably? think it was a red herring although it could pop back up#the arc is still ongoing) a little bit more considering weve had dr psycho starting shit for the past 4 (at LEAST) issues but well whatever#anyways the pencilling on this one needed help like its not even a coloring issue at the core of it its legit this guest guy drawing#totally different people... very lame#anyways maybe im too quick to blame it all on the bana i am only halfway through the arc#like i do think it is the bana. i think thats the answer. but again dr psycho IS causing problems and theres been hints of the cheetah being#involved (���animal attack” killings + a shot of her in arkham) AND circe was namedropped (although now we know it was dr psycho) but im still#slightly suspicious bc there seems to be possesed animals... like they are v much laying different hints and pathways here#but i think its the bana. i think its psycho fucking around and also the bana and MAYBE a psycho controlled cheetah or the bana mimicing her#patterns. or are the bana even there if psychos involved??? he could just be fucking around then- okay you know what. maybe im less sure of#this than i thought and should just read more. wait but how would psycho even know about the bana to have ppl hallucinate hed just use the#themyscirans-- okay i need to read more im getting distracted. the bana are definitely involved though im calling it. its them and maybe#psycho. and maybe cheetah. and maybe circe but likely not bc we already established that was a false lead. unless that was also a trick. and#WHAT ABT ARES ALL THE STOLEN ARTIFACTS HAD TO DO WITH WAR--#.... guys im losing it. fuck it im saying its all giganta and calling it a day i cant do this#no but i love how this mystery is set up its like they just dropped clues for every single ww villain onto it and said “here. good luck.”#this is before the big ww crossover too so it could actually be all of them im losing my mind here. WHO IS IT#ive twisted myself in a circle here i dont know anything now. only that i did call it if it was the bana. or if theres mind control or smth#sus about heracles cup. i also called that although its seeming less and less likely now that the bana and psycho are likely involved. and#maybe cheetah. and circe. and ares. guys im falling apart here#what was the point of this post then? oh shitty guest pencilling and editor flops. the editor flop part i can understand im sure they were#busy even if this is a big thing to miss imo. the penciller though is just silly come on now. someone should have caught that. anyways--#swishy liveblogs
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nothing, just the intimacy of wrist kisses.... feeling their heart-beat rise, the warmth of their skin, the scent of the romantic perfume they're wearing......and mainly, the split-second-panic in their eyes before they submit and let you have your way with them...
#wrist warmers#love#Lovers#Kisses#love quotes#love and deepspace#I don't have a lover#This just popped up in my mind#imagine#fluff#Winter#Cute#i don't make the rules#Music#To my ears#L#O#V#E#Who would you do this with?#i love them#I#Need nobody though#Adorable#Could be a pet#Boy#Girl#Ai#I guess what I'm sayin#Is I
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jesus n judas sure were doomed by the narrative :D <3 but did not kiss on the lips :'( </3
#i wanna make a more eloquent post abt the first bit of this post cuz like. there are things i could say#if i could word it better rip#they did have a certain Vibe like the 1st time i saw it where i was like ....👀#which was way more jarring that time since i went in knowing like..basically nothing abt it#n not rly expecting id like it much at all but iiiii was wrong >:)#n abt the 2nd part its just that the 'betraying kiss' was on the cheek not lips :'( love loses#lajshd im kidding but ive seen pics from productions where they did go for it but alas#i could say a lot but yea that was fuckin crazy i loved it#alternative post i considered: the bible parts of the last days of jesus but if it slayed . or something#btw this is abt a performance of jesus christ superstar i just saw that was by a broadway group goin around the country i guess#if a disclaimer need i enjoy it as a story#went to c*tholic school grew up having to go to church etc all that is behind me 👍#also smth fun to know maybe is the 1st time we saw it when i was a teenager#my mom just told us how someone told her to ask my grandma (my moms mom) if she wanted to go w us#n my mom knew itd be this way but still asked#n my grandma was like Absolutely nottttt (<= she is v strictly catholic lol)#yay blasphemy by showing him as a guy who was flawed n human ish#p
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when i mention that i have the most individual MiA fics out of any author on AO3 i am not bragging. mostly i am sad about this. fic scene is very small, total of ~200 works in all languages
i am also always noting that the characters i'm likely to read/write about aren't the same ones as the characters most of the rest of the already-small fic reader and writer scene for The Hole Show is likely to read/write about. so the following results aren't news to me
but i hadn't thought to actually compare character tags for the whole fandom to character tags for my work, and the sheer disparity between 'tags of the fandom' and 'tags of the author who wrote the most individual fics in that fandom' is...funny lol. (left: MiA tag as a whole's most tagged characters; right: ebilfic's most tagged characters
#orphan hole tag#ebil writes#Now You See Why I Made Ye Olde Ganja Server.#also if this wasn't already clear from the numbers:#belaf and vueko would not actually place in the top ten characters if not for my fics#i checked what happens if you remove them and the next most tagged characters are Marulk and Original Character#a little surprised Faputa doesn't place in that situation? i was hoping she would#so i could be like. aww she took their place they'd be happy to give their places up for her#like this is interesting because faputa is a very popular character in fanart. but not for fic i guess#anyway whenever i reproach myself with 'don't complain that characters you like don't have more content -- make the content'#i'm like. well actually wait. i am Very Much already Making the Content to the tune of 'most prolific by fic count AO3 author in the fandom#and i'm not out here being a dick in any way to people who only like the other characters so it's fine. :v#rel.: i have a fear if i hosted an AO3 exchange it'd maybe just result in 'two thirds is people asking for and receiving Weird Rabbit Smut#( a decent amount of Nanachi's tag is Weird Rabbit Smut)#which i dont...uh...have any wish for Effort Put in By Me to facilitate. and hosting an exchange certainly involves Putting Effort.#it could perhaps be an exchange themed/centered on secondary characters or adult characters or season two characters or something
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You need an allergy ointment for your skin. I have the same skin reaction when I'm very stressed or anxious. Don't take benadryl anymore, you need desloratadine. Maybe do an oatmeal bath to soothe your skin.
Thank u for the tips i actually just had paramedics come out to the house bc my lips started swelling and my mom got worried and called 911 . And I got briefly evaluated but I didn’t wanna go to the hospital rn bc im exhausted and barely slept and the swelling went down anyway . So im abt to take an oatmeal bath and then a nap in some fresh clean sheets/blankets and I promised the paramedics that if my symptoms are still as bad (or worsening) when I wake up I’ll go to the hospital . And while they were out here they called a mental health professional who works w them and she came out and talked to me abt all the problems I’ve been having and she was really amazing and she gave me her card with her cell number in case I need any help and she said she would personally take my case on and help me get into regular one-on-one therapy with a therapist who specializes in helping traumatized young women like me :’)
#I’m feeling hopeful I was rlly losing my mind when the paramedics were here#esp bc my ptsd often causes me to be like… disproportionately scared of men I don’t know#even if they’re medics who are trying to help me I guess#so they called the woman I was just talking abt and she brought two women with her who are also paramedics so the men could leave#and honestly once I calmed down it was much more comfortably for me to have my vitals taken and everything by the women#they were all v understanding tho#which I appreciate
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