#who are really invested in the idea of lesbians specifically being with

[madtomedgar]

Are there conversations to be had about attraction within the lesbian community? Sure.

Do men have any place at all in this conversation? Absofuckinglutely not.

[kndrules]

Similar to that previous ask you answered... What are some more of your headcanons for Hoagie? Yours are very unique and I'm very invested in them

OKAY LET'S SEE.... Yes and also all of my Headcanons are also @sector-v / @eltube 's Headcanons. We share a brain. We mind-meld.

I'm gonna start with their family stuff since that's what I did for Abby!

The most important thing is that hoagie is Jewish, on their mom's side. I have this headcanon that Lydia is a Holocaust survivor but as time passes I wonder if it makes more sense for it to be Lydia's parents who were survivors. Either way, there's a direct line there. hoagie is German on both sides of the family.

That being said, hoagie isn't very devout. They go through the motions of attending services, participating in high holidays (but don't ask if they've ever successfully fasted for Yom Kippur), and they had their Bar Mitzvah- but I don't think they care that much about it really. It's just habit.

The big question we all love to talk about is whether their dad died or their parents are just divorced. My answer is both. Their parents divorced because Betty is a lesbian, but she's still pretty much in the closet even now. Their dad died a few years after that. Both parents are from the Midwest, hence the accents.

On their mom's side, the only family they have is their immediate family. Meanwhile, their dad had a very large family, but there's a lot of tension between hoagies immediately family and the dad's family, cuz they don't like Betty very much. They're very judgemental and the cousins bully hoagie so hoagie resents them a lot.

My idea is that every other Christmas they go and spend it with the dad's family. Hoagie hates this. Ive had a comic idea for YEARS about it, but I've never gotten around to making it

Otherwise... Lemme think

Hoagie is a classic nerd while in middle school, but starts to realize she doesn't actually like those kids very much. She ends up spending more time with other trans women nerds, like Angeline, who plays videogames with hoagie once a week.

No surprise to anyone, she gets into a really good university right out of high school and studies aerospace engineering and applied physics. They ultimately get a PhD in physics. While they love aerospace engineering, pretty much any career path involving it is tied into the arms industry one way or another, so they don't pursue it in any official capacity. I mostly picture them becoming a University professor who also does laboratory research.

I alluded to this when I talked about Abby, but Hoagie and Abby grow very close during grad school, which is when they start dating. They get married and have two kids. Their daughter Naomi takes after Hoagie a lot and has a knack for engineering

Hoagie always remains very close to her mom and brother

Okay this feels like enough for now. I'm still very willing to answer more specific questions too

[scuderlia]

haircut!anon again: ok. wow. had to slam my phone down in my uni computer lab and wait until i could string together a coherent thought again. first off like au itself on back burner your MIND and the way you construct this narrative is INCREDIBLE and so raw adn true and pulling on the queer (as in deviant and as in gay) hair experince sooo deeply i feel soooooo deeply you are a magician. further. i was PICTURING max in braids and god fuck the tenderness of charles and max setting their mise en place and sitting together and braiding her hair before their prey comes in…. god. jesus. i can't stop re-reading the snippets. FUCK! sorry this isn't coherent thoughts after all. max and control and cutting charles' hair. fuck me uppp….

anon! i spent so long smiling like an idiot because of this ask, at this point you're basically my betrothed <3

but yeah, you get it. at the core of max and charles' relationship is truly their hounded devotion and acceptance of one another. the queer experience really is defined by those you hold close, and it's been interesting (for me) to try and thread that idea through this greater story about desire and hunger in a way that feels genuine. i've pulled on a lot of my personal experiences of being a young lesbian and being guarded about sexuality, but ultimately it all comes back to (like you mentioned) the idea of relinquishing some control and feeling comfortable enough with someone to let go of the safety of doing things alone.

i also love love love giving characters their own little rituals, and seeing as how max and charles both have a lot of emotional connections to their hair/haircuts/etc. the braids were an easy decision.

(more about max and her relationship to hair below the cut)

there's this really interesting article by Amelia Abraham titled 'What butch queer identity has to do with hair' that got put out by Dazed in 2022. it primarily covers a photography exhibition called Close Shave—which centers itself around butch haircuts and identity—but also goes into the cultural relevance of 'masc' hairstyles and their role in queer (mainly lesbian) expression.

i remembered and re-read it when i was in the early stages of fleshing-out max's character. i recommend the article to everyone, but especially people who are maybe looking to better understand the history of butch optics, and kind of where i'm coming from with some of max's characterization.

(see one of my favorite quotes from the article below)

While having short hair and identifying as butch don’t necessarily come as a pair, for butch people, haircuts can be transformational – getting your hair cut off brings you closer to your gender identity.

like I mentioned in the the answer to your previous ask, max's haircut kind of serves as a physical manifestation of her relationship with her father, and more specifically, how that relationship influences her feelings of shame (and eventually acceptance) towards her own sexuality.

part of the reason that max is so struck by charles saying she'd let her cut her hair is in large part because, for max, hair is incredibly representative of an individual's ability to control how others perceive and relate to them. by breaking the ritual with her mother, charles is essentially showing max that she not only finds comfort with her, but also trusts her enough to have her identity placed in her hands.

i could honestly talk about this forever... since body politics and queerness are things i'm just genuinely very passionate about... but i will save the innocent bystanders of this blog from having to read through all of that in one sitting.

(anyways, i'm so happy that people are as invested in this as i am... keep sending me long asks like this... if you couldn't already tell i'll take any opportunity to talk more about this au)

[deathlooksgoodonyou-if]

Hi, Hope you're doing great!

So let me say that any story with a high potential of gay angst is an instant favorite i. My book ( i might just be projecting a tad too much..)

That's why Jules really intrigues me, a small part of me kinda wish there's a happy ending to be found in their route (pls let them be secretly alive, or at least real enough in mc's mind)

So since you seemed to list homophobia in the trigger warning, i wander how much is it gonna play in the story? I know its a heavy topic and shoild be handled with caution but i feel like there has yet to be any IFs that brings it to focus you know, most just kinda glazes over it, which us honestly underdtandable. So, it makes me think that for F!Jules her dating Dylan might also be a way to avoid her queerness? Like its a comphet situation and it just bring the angst in. Though i guess this won't work for M!Jules since he dated Dylan, but i guess ut can bring gay angst for MC as in "Oh, so he DOES like guys, just not me specifically :(" kinda way???

Gaah honestly i just love the ideas that you bring?? That'll be all! Thanks soo much for listening (reading?) To my rambling!!

That's why Jules really intrigues me, a small part of me kinda wish there's a happy ending to be found in their route (pls let them be secretly alive, or at least real enough in mc's mind)

Sadly that is never happening ahaha. Part of mc's character arc is learning to let go of Jules, understanding their grief and moving on.

So since you seemed to list homophobia in the trigger warning, i wander how much is it gonna play in the story?

The mc won't be facing judgement from other people in the present timeline for being who they are but when the mc's backstory is revealed, it will heavily influence the mc's inner monologue depending on the way mc chooses to react to the homophobia/transphobia they are subjected to by their mother. I will soon be adding internalised homophobia/transphobia to the trigger warning as well. I am currently thinking of way these scenes can be avoided by people but I am not sure if that will be possible because they are somewhat important in shaping the mc. These struggles are what give the mc more character depth. So, we'll have to see.

I know its a heavy topic and shoild be handled with caution but i feel like there has yet to be any IFs that brings it to focus you know, most just kinda glazes over it, which us honestly underdtandable.

It is a sensitive topic. Which is exactly why I want it discussed in my IF. I don't like writing my characters as gay, lesbian etc. etc. just for the "inclusivity and representation." (Not talking about IFs but media in general.)

So, it makes me think that for F!Jules her dating Dylan might also be a way to avoid her queerness?

In ways, yes. The mc on this path can choose to be like "Oh. Of course. I should have known. Pretty girls always go for the pretty boys. Why would she ever look my way?" Or You can go on wishing you were born a man.

Though i guess this won't work for M!Jules since he dated Dylan, but i guess ut can bring gay angst for MC as in "Oh, so he DOES like guys, just not me specifically :(" kinda way???

You got that one right, anon.

Gaah honestly i just love the ideas that you bring?? That'll be all! Thanks soo much for listening (reading?) To my rambling!!

Thank you, anon. <3 and please ramble to me all you want. Its a sign that people are invested.

[quinloki]

is it specifically the lesbians' part or just the winning prizes part cause I gotta say I enjoyed that in birds of a feather

thinking of a few boys specifically on how they'd handle winning the prizes part and it's funny

kid would be HILAROUS he'd either be really good at it and he smug as shit or REALLY REALLY bad at it and you gotta leave bc he's about to fight a carnie

......

competition between marco and sabo on who can win you the biggest prize at the carnival just a fun little game before yall are actually seeing eachother and the fam is there too and bam the first winner is bestie ace and he gets the hug and a kiss on the cheek >> izou then sneaks by being the 2nd giving the two of them smug ass look and then it's an all out competition to win you prizes by all the brothers lmaoooo you walk home barely able to carry them all

XD I meant it with the f/f context in place, but! There’s no reason to not have fun with it.

The Whitebeard Boys descending on a carnival and the carnies just all sigh. It’s not all bad though, they’ll clean out the prizes, tickets and food, and the crowds they tend to bring keep the rides going and the more destructive gangs/families at bay.

I love the competition idea - at the end of it all, it’s Pops who wins, coming in out of nowhere and giving you like some massive white teddy plushie you need someone else to carry for you cause you can’t lift it over your head to be able to See Anything xD

Kid I think is good at those games. I can see him having spent time working carnival gigs as an under the table deal when he was 13/14 and needing work.

Sanji wants to be good at carnival games, but he’s more likely to be gifted wins by his date than win anything for them.

Robin is ruthlessly good at them - Nami too.

Crocodile and Doffy are middling, but smart, patient, and rich enough to get to the prize quickly.

Zoro’s not bad at them, he’s just not invested.

Law is kind of bad at them, but patient and tactical and driven enough to get there.

Shachi is AWFUL at them.

Penguin is solidly good at them.

Shanks plays at being awful but then nails the goal six times in a row and you’re not buying the whole beginner’s luck BS.

Mihawk is efficient.

Smoker’s great, but he’d rather guide you to winning at them than win for you. (Lots of helping you aim, being close to you and murmuring advice in your ear, knowing he’s flustering you in the process.)

[wifelinkmtg]

you guys i’m starting to think magic story might not be that good

I’m really really happy the Phyrexia essay found its intended audience, and i’m glad it resonated so deeply with so many of you! People have asked me if they can quote it or lift concepts from it, and the answer is yes, absolutely! Please attribute it to me if you do, and if you want to send me whatever you’re using it in I would love to read it, though that’s optional. That’s the first thing.

The second thing is, man, was March of the Machine story a wet dud or what? I try to set my expectations low with official WotC stuff, but I did not have them set anywhere near low enough. Consequently, it’s been difficult to muster the energy lately to do things on this blog because, like, jeez, what an unceremonious and largely consequence-free waste of potential all of that was (except for the Ixalan story. The Ixalan story had everything: amazing kaiju fights [sorry Ikoria] and Magic’s best lesbian couple [sorry Gruulfriends, also congrats Gruulfriends.] “But what about the Ravnica story?” you, an incorrect person, say, “I thought the Ravnica story was really good,” you continue, incorrectly. The Ravnica story was very bad! It had really good ideas in it, but it was exceedingly-poorly written. My most charitable interpretation is that there was a miscommunication, and the author expected there would be a thorough editorial pass, and instead they just published it as-is. Sad! I would have really enjoyed a well-written version of that story. </hater>) But also it’s been difficult to muster enthusiasm to do Magic stuff lately because of WotC’s extracurriculars (increasingly-predatory attempts to more thoroughly monetize D&D, the fucking thing with the fucking Pinkertons.) But today I took an Adderall because it’s one of the rare days I actually have to focus on a task at work, and I’m using the residual focus to post an overdue update here, hello!

And I’m not done with this blog! Far from it. I’m going to keep posting dumb horny card art reviews here, for sure, but here’s some other stuff you can expect to see in the next few months or so:

1. a follow-up to the Phyrexia essay digging into the question of what a “fascist aesthetic” is, what it’s for in fiction, what it means to enjoy things that contain those elements. I think this is a really interesting topic with a lot of depth and hopefully nuance to it, and I really only skirted it in the original essay, and oh man did people have things to say about that (most of them polite). I addressed a similar topic previously on this blog when I talked about the conquistador vampires in Ixalan, but I don’t think I’m satisfied with that post. I think we can also talk about how we engage with a text, and how we engage with a text like Magic: the Gathering specifically. This is a lot to cover, and it may end up getting trimmed down, or I may succumb entirely to the seduction of scope creep. Who can say!

2. an essay on chivalry in its historical contexts, how it’s been used, what purposes it serves in a society (its role, for instance, in sustaining white supremacy in America), and what it means when we encounter it in “sword lesbian” media (the Locked Tomb books, Revolutionary Girl Utena, etc.) This is going to require a great deal of research and I have no idea what my ultimate conclusion will be, but it’s a topic I’m personally very invested in for a whole host of reasons.

3, maybe. I’ve been toying with the idea of writing MtG fic for a while, because they keep wasting potential and I think I could do a better job. If I do, I’ll post it here, but no promises. Fiction isn’t my main genre, and fanfic isn’t something I’ve gotten seriously into before, despite being on tumblr since 2011. But someone needs to do Avacyn justice, so we’ll see.

4. other writing. I’m a lightly-published poet in real life, and I’m currently working on my first chapbook, so maybe I’ll try putting some of it on tumblr, and since this blog’s readership has surpassed my personal, I guess? I’d put it here? Or, possibly, the short horror stories I infrequently write. Again, we’ll see.

5. Obviously I’m going to keep doing the horny Magic card art reviews. I’m not feeling the new stuff right now, but there’s a lot of older sets I haven’t done yet. The Tarkir block is next - and in fact, I think that will be the next post on this blog. I think it’s time we started appreciating Monastery Swiftspear for more than her brutal efficiency in aggro decks, because frankly she’s a snack and this should be acknowledged.

Anyway, thank you all for reading, hit me up if you wanna play some Commander, and I’ll see y’all in the next one!

[wlwanakin]

since you said to be more specific if i wanted to know more then can you talk abt what youve mapped out of grells and madams relationship? redcliff is my otp so i would love to hear what you think of the red murder wives

ok so!! my biggest thing w them is that to me they are just. horrible for each other. they are soulmates they are tied together by the red string of fate but god is it unhealthy. like if u build a relationship off of brutally murdering ppl ur not gonna have a healthy dynamic i’m sawrry (ESPECIALLY when it ends with murder. u don’t kill ur gf that casually if ur relationship is healthy). there’s so little content of them but the bits we see seem pretty tumultuous (i base a lot off that one rainbow butler one shot bc that shit was so gay but sooo toxic it’s scrumptious) so i just run with it! they’re both very mentally ill and homicidal that shit was doomed from the start

the whole relationship like a slow build from their first meeting bc anne is immediately like Live With Me and they’re inexplicably drawn to each other (read: horny) but it’s a slow evolution from yearning and going marginally insane and probably like drunk making out they refuse to talk abt after to insane love confessions and kinda just running with the idea that they’re basically married. and the whole time it’s just a constant flux between desperately needing each other always and divorce worthy fighting. so much divorce worthy fighting.

grell falls HARD like really fucking hard like despite being the world’s worst gf she’s also more invested. she has insane tunnel vision for anne like she abandoned her whole life for her so ofc she does!! it’s a genuine obsession and it’s so unhealthy and she’s desperately needy and anytime it feels like it may be crumbling she goes hard on trying to sabotage bc she will not leave until the bridge is burnt to fucking ASH (she’s also insanely impulsive abt it like the minute she regains common sense she’s just like “why did i do that” and then wants to rekill herself so bad).

anne is very very infatuated but she’s kind of the normaler party in the sense that she can have a life outside of grell (and grell does not like that). she’s a workaholic abt the murder and also about the Being An Aunt and she’s having a crisis of morality at all times and this makes her very preoccupied but also lowkey without grell she’d kill herself. grell is like her key to being able to live with herself morally it’s like. “no one will love me with how horrible i’m being but this bitch not only loves me but also condones my atrocities!! if she leaves me i’m blowing up the world.” but the thing is she’s confident enough that grell Won’t leave her to not be as invested in her. and she’s also not afraid to be a frigid bitch when she’s pissed at her and can be so extremely hot and cold about everything it’s absolutely insanity inducing.

they’re stuck in this insane loop of being madly in love, anne kinda zoning out of everything and getting cold, grell vying for attention via acting out or manipulation or cheating or something, Big Fight, and then back to being madly in love and they NEVER WANNA STOP bc they understand each other so deeply and fundamentally in a way no one else ever will!! they enable the worst parts of each other and they feel so safe with each other. they’re each other’s home but god that home is the worst place you’ve ever stepped foot in.

there’s also an internalized homophobia layer going on for sure that definitely does not help things. esp bc anne was probably grell’s bi awakening. i always write madam red as a lesbian who has already unpacked that and dealt with it so while she has like. period typical internalized homophobia it’s way less of a Thing for her. but for grell it’s just like Oh God What Is Happening Why Do I Want To Live In Her Skin What Are The Gender Implications Of This I Am Having A Bad Time!! so like the double whammy of a full blown sexuality crisis and first time doing commitment r driving her a little insane the whole time.

it also makes grell nerfing anne a lot less random in my brain. she just snapped in that moment and it was a 2.5 year buildup of frustration that she just let loose bc she felt like she was being rejected and like all her fears of abandonment were being confirmed and she kinda just lost it. i don’t even think she fully gets why she did it tbh it kinda just happened and she ran with it and processed it all two hours later and was like “oh shit i’m going to pretend that won’t make me wanna die forever” but it’s also just a response to a constant pattern of Fucking Everything Up So Bad Now, Kiss And Make Up Later except oopsies it was fatal this time!!!

basically when the relationship is good it’s perfect and idealistic and amazing in every way and when it’s bad it’s the worst fucking relationship you’ve ever seen. it’s a mess they’re a mess it’s so fun!!

[sissytobitch10seconds]

Her Husband

Fandom: Stranger Things Summary: Robin's a nervous person, everyone knows that. First dates are also a nerve-wracking ordeal for everyone, but more so for her. Warnings: Mentions of period typical homophobia Word Count: 782 Ship(s): Steve Harrington&/Robin Buckley

Archive link!

A/N: So this is the first half of a two-part (or maybe more if I decide there's a need for it) series and it may not make a ton of sense alone. I hope that you all enjoy this part and are prepared for the next one! Stay sissy and bitchy everyone <3

Robin shifted uncomfortably on her chair. This was probably her least favorite part of having a first date with a new romantic interest. She had done it over a dozen times at this point,a ll the way through college and even into her adult career. She thought that it would get easier after a little while but it almost seemed like the world was specifically against her to make her just as anxious about it every single time she did it.

“I have something that I have to confess if we’re going to keep going down this path,” she cleared her throat awkwardly.

“Oh yeah?” her date asked.

Ashley was pretty and kind. She had long red hair that she kept in a braided bun on the back of her head because she worked with animals. Her hands were calloused on her right middle finger and along the base of her thumb. She had fair skin that refused to freckle no matter how long she stayed in the sun. Tonight she had worn a pretty blue dress that kept slipping off of her shoulder to reveal the lacy black bra that she was wearing. The fact that she was kind, worked with animals, and had obviously come to their date with the expectation of the night ending in sex was what was making it so much worse for Robin.

She wiped her hands on her pants and reminded herself that she had faced way worse than this. She would much rather have to tell pretty women who wanted to have sex with her the little secret that she kept tucked into another part of her life than fight Vecna or be tortured by Russians. But it didn’t always feel like it.

“I have a husband,” she explained.

Ashley immediately wrinkled her nose and leaned back in her chair like Robin had just told her that she had the Black Death. “You mean that you led me on to help you cheat on someone?”

“No,” she shook her head. “He knows that I’m here and he supports it wholeheartedly-”

Robin had a whole spiel in her head that she always tried to use when she was telling dates this, but she almost never got it out all the way when they began to freak out. It turned out that it was going to be the same this time as it was every other time. Ashley leaned forward and spoke in a hushed voice so that none of the other patrons in the surrounding tables would be able to hear her as she said, “You know that lesbianism isn’t some gross kink for men, right? Some of us, such as myself, think that we can only be with women. I’m not going to sleep with you so that your husband can watch through your blinds or in your closet or something. That’s fucking disgusting.”

“You don’t understand,” Robin whimpered. She usually dropped it when the person she was talking to obviously wanted the conversation to end, but she had been really invested in the potential relationship she could have with Ashley. “It-it’s not like that. We’re not together romantically or sexually. We’re married and we love each other but he-he’s more like my platonic soulmate. It was like when the gods were making us or whatever he decided that I was going to love my best friend with my entire chest but only be interested in women and-”

Ashley cut her off again, “So he’s a beard? I’ve dated women like that before but it didn’t really work out.”

“No, he’s not a beard! He’s my husband,” Robin objected, frustrated. The idea of her husband only being her beard or something that was totally disposable once she found the right woman made her want to vomit. He was far more important to her than any romantic foray, so she decided that she was just going to take the hit and try again some other time. “I don’t think that this is going to work out. Thanks for trying, sorry for wasting your time.”

She fished out the proper amount of money and then set it on the table before she slung her purse over her shoulder and walked away. It was frustrating to have that happen over and over again, but she would always place her husband above any romantic or sexual encounters that she would have. It was hard to explain to people, especially with the limited vocabulary that still existed for queer people even in the mid-nineties, but it was very important to her that whatever future romantic partner she may have recognize that first and foremost, Steve was her husband.

[redheadbigshoes]

Hi ya'll 🌻anon here! I wanted to thoughtdump after seeing someone post 'I see all this discourse about queer identity and labels and i kinda agree but disagree with both of them but I just call myself queer' and like, it struck me that a lot of people might not know how important queer identities are for some people?

I grew up in a small town in the deep south, heavily indoctrined by a christian family, homophobic and transphpbic media, and hostile culture, it was isolating and grew self-hatred into me that I still struggle with. I literally didnt have a word for 'gay woman' or being transgender until college, I did not know these were possible, that other people who felt like I did existed.

While I was starting transition, my therapist withheld hormones from me unless I was actively dating a man, and combined with internalized transphobia telling me no cis woman woupd ever see me as a woman, and internalized homophobia telling me that I should just be straight, I was suffering being indoctrinated again that you cant be a woman without being attracted to men.

Without the identity, the language of lesbianism, I honestly wouldn't be here today, I was self-harming and suicidal until I was able to get hormones away from my therapist and be myself. I had language to communicate to others how I felt, a community of people who felt like I do that I can talk about these experiences with.

I think people who aren't part of any particular queer identity, or aren't invested in one, have trouble understanding how it opens up our world, we don't live in a magical fantasy world where everybody has knowledge of all of the spectrum of human experiences and and nobody faces discrimination or oppression for their differences.

So yeah, it matters that we have language for an idea that may save someone's life, sue me for caring about that.

-🌻

Hi!

A lot of people since labels are not important for them they treat as if they aren’t important for anyone else. People need to understand if they do decide to label themselves with something specific, the least they could do is respect the label’s meaning.

If our society wasn’t misogynistic, homophobic, racist and transphobic labels wouldn’t be so important.

A straight person doesn’t really care about the fact they’re straight and keep using that label every time, and that’s because they have their rights and experiences respected.

If lesbians were respected (or if any other identity that’s a minority) we wouldn’t keep needing to remind people of who we are and fight for our rights.

And not only that, language exists for communication, and communication exists to facilitate things. Misusing words and ignoring their meanings isn’t doing anything, that’s not helpful and that’s only making communication difficult.

[cabeswaterdrowned]

klena and carolena for the ship ask game 💖

assuming by Klena you mean Klaus/Elena and not Katherine/Elena because that reply would be different lol

Whether I ship it or not: not really

Why I ship it or not: there’s no very deep reason, it just isn’t one of the dynamics for either of them that pops to me / makes me want to get invested I do respect the desire to want Elena in non-salvatore ships but I’m more of an Elena/Rebekah and Elena/Elijah girl myself when it comes to Mikaelson/Elena pairings.

My opinion on their canon potential (chemistry, canon interactions, etc): I can see where people get some vibes from things like how he reacts to her in certain late s2/early s3 scenes but again other interactions grabbed me more. In terms of chemistry combined with storyline potential I think Klaus/Bonnie had a lot more going for it, more than a lot of Klaus canon ships (and I say that as someone who did enjoy most canon Klaus ships to different degrees with the exception of Klamille which I didn’t dislike at all but which left me cold).

My opinion on fanon interpretations/fandom around it (Favorite widespread hcs, pet-peeves, etc): I haven’t gotten very deep into the fandom for them so mostly a blank slate but I do think it’s sus when shippers react negatively to Bonnie/Mikaelson ships or people shipping Bonnie in non canon ships with duplicitous people she has chemistry with like Klaus Kai etc. but then go for Klena and Kailena outside of that specific fan archetype I don’t have a problem (sorry this was not a very involved answer I just genuinely don’t think about them much).

Carolena

Whether I ship it or not: hmmm. It actually kind of depends on my mood + what I’ve rewatched last and how I felt about it, I’ve been into the idea at some points but less at others. So I guess yes and no and ultimately sometimes lmao, but regardless their dynamic holds interest to me.

Why I ship it or not: for the yes/warmer on them side of things they play on some archetypes I am into in terms of shipping in general, I do enjoy a toxic teen girl situationship or just a messy friend-situationship and I like ships between chars who are set up to be foils which they really are so moments and storylines that play on/emphasize that can get me thinking of them in a shippy mood. And there are interesting things about the way they treat each other and how the show treats them and like the arc of their relationship on a meta level…. On the other hand the reason why they’ve never been a hardcore ship/otp of mine has to do with how strange and transient I find the writing for them… I’ve actually been trying to make sense of my overall feelings about them more on this rewatch so consider this a very *atm* answer that could evolve lol but I just find the way tvd wrote female friendships very odd they’re both interesting to me and uninteresting to me at the same time, if that makes sense and this is really how I feel about barolena dynamics in general so while I have shipping moments with them I find it hard to get really invested in them romantically the way I did with say, different combos of girls on Pll or even Legacies. I think it’s why all my TVD femslash Otp’s ended up being antagonistic ones other than the fact I just like antagonistic femslash in general (see Elena/Rebekah Caroline/Katherine Bonnie/Nora) because the writing just clicked for me better and I could understand nuances in those dynamics and them being awful to each other better which seems counterintuitive but it’s how I felt ultimately…

My opinion on their canon potential (chemistry, canon interactions, etc): I think they have some standout gay moments “lesbian friend necklace” some of Caroline talking about how perfect Elena is and their chemistry is fine idk if I would say they have amazing chemistry for this show but it’s definitely not bad chemistry for this show either. I tend to be more into Nina and Candice’s on screen chemistry in Katholine scenes but again that might be more subjective because their storylines tend to hold interest for me.

My opinion on fanon interpretations/fandom around it (Favorite widespread hcs, pet-peeves, etc): There are a lot of different takes about the contentiousness of their relationship which I do think should be analyzed/explored but stans do tend to take sides based on who they like more and especially some of the hardcore Caroline stans I’ve seen get into this unfairly vilify Elena in the dynamic imo, I’m sure there’s some of the reverse too but I see it less probably because Care is more of a fan favorite. So I dislike that specifically… but I generally find it interesting to read people’s takes about them maybe also because there are so many different ones lol. ty for the ask!

[psychewritesbs]

i'm a bit confused by the different translations of what Shoko says, like she was in love or not with any of them? Is that what you mean by ambiguous? or am I not getting this either lol

HOLA!

Well, I'd say it depends on how you want to interpret the statement. Literally, this is what it comes down to.

For me, I like the idea of an ot3 between them, so to me it reads ambiguous. I'm sure you noticed I used TBC's translation and not VIZ's.

Some of the comments I've read on the matter of the translation is that VIZ's translation was more literal, and to be honest, I don't care enough to fact check. This is partly because, in my experience, VIZ's translations have lacked nuance (this is not necessarily a criticism given they are writing for a specific audience in mind) and A LOT gets lost in translation.

What I mean by ambiguous under the cut...

Anyways, that said, I paid for chatgpt to help me do my job (best investment ever) and this is what it had to say about Choko's words as translated by TBC:

Based solely on the statement given, it seems that the speaker has a strong aversion or negative feelings towards a group of people, to the point that they express that it would be impossible for them to develop romantic feelings towards anyone from that group, even under extreme circumstances (such as hell freezing over).

I also asked the chatbot whether it thought that strong aversion could be an attempt at suppressing strong attraction, but it said that the lack of positive language "suggests a strong resistance to the idea of falling in love with someone".

I'm unconvinced, however. Gege has been writing about romantic love through Yorozu so I have a lot of head canons swimming around in my head. Amongst them is the idea that you can't consciously choose who you fall in love with. Rather, your heart makes that decision.

So, to me, an aversion to falling in love could mean the mind's rejection of an inkling of the heart. This is ambiguous because we can't tell wether she really just straight up hates the idea of falling in love with either or both of them, or whether she was suppressing those feelings.

The official translation implies that she was in love with one of them. She's ambiguous about who it is she was in love with because she doesn't come out and say it, but my best guess is that it was Geto.

Actually, on second thought, the VIZ translation is so awkward that I have to agree that it is probably the most literal.

But I've seen comments about how her words as translated by TBC mean Shoko was lesbian af all along.

So I guess that's what I meant about it being ambiguous? It's not easy to define and pinpoint and the interpretation is highly dependent on the interpreter's biases.

Hopefully this helps! I say find the interpretation you like best because I doubt we're going to get a clearcut from Gege unless someone straight up asks him in an interview.

So, again... for me that is ot3 🔥 lol.

Thanks for asking ;)

[no0dlru]

is that post abt your bf a complaint or. cause it doesnt sound like its fun for u lol

Uhhhh, it's not really intended as a complaint. Things can be frustrating at times, but the point in being intimate with someone is the intimacy, to me at least.

A lot of my friends talk about sex as if it's such a prerequisite for a relationship. One mate was saying she doesn't understand why someone she knows would agree to no sex before marriage; she said that, without having sex, you couldn't know whether you'd want to be/stay with a partner. I disagreed, saying you can know if you love someone regardless of if you've had sex. It's silly to think asexual people are any less able to love, so of course non-asexual people who've decided to be celibate for whatever reasons aren't any less loving for their decision. They're not "withholding" anything. By contrast, to expect sex from anyone who isn't enthusiastic about it themselves is about as unloving as you could be.

Another friend relayed a conversation about a woman in the club saying "I think he's really special - he even went down on me, and no guys ever done that for me before", to which her friend replied "That shouldn't be special! Any decent guy would do that, it's entirely normal!" - she agreed. On one hand, yeah; if guys are willing to hook up and actually have sex, and they have no qualms with doing whatever else *specifically except* oral, just from a genuine lack of care about their partner's enjoyment, then yeah, that's annoying. And a lot of guys are like that due to patriarchal brainrot...

But again, sexuality is about closeness and mutual enjoyment to me. It's about finding out what each other enjoys, and listening to and understanding each other. To feel pressured to perform a sexual act is one of the worst feelings. There's a difference between being selfishly unreciprocal and keeping boundaries.

I purposefully used the phrase pillow princess in the post because I found the gendered language pertinent; pillow princess isn't necessarily a derogative term with lesbians, it's a value-neutral descriptor of a person in a specific dynamic. It's someone with certain preferences who pairs well with a certain counterpart (like a stone butch). A woman who wants to receive pleasure but, for whatever reason, doesn't want to give it, isn't seen in the same way as guys are described above. She's attractive to ppl with complimentary desires, and that's appreciated. Her sexual preferences are respected as her choice.

The difference to me seems largely sociological (i.e., aforementioned patriarchal brainrot). Porn, media, social pressures, etc., encourage men (and everyone else for that matter) to see sex in a consumptive way, commodifying the experience. I find it tragic that so many guys basically want to masturbate with their partner's body, that there's an impersonality, and that they don't properly connect with their partner or consider them. I think the fact lesbians have been subject to misogyny rather than benefiting from patriarchy means the choice not to reciprocate seems less entitled.

When I asked my bf once what it was he actually wanted in terms of intimacy, he basically said "I don't know... the point is to have fun, right?". And he's right. That consumptive lens I mentioned affects what my mates said before, too. A sense of transaction, exchange, expectation. Like undetermined portions of the relationship - the dates, or conversations, or foreplay, or idea of a future together - are deposits for an expected return. Or investments. Or loans. To me at least, if your relationship doesn't work unless you expect your partner to perform whatever sexual act, you're not in a good romantic relationship. You need to figure out what each other's needs and desires are, and how you both feel, then find a way to have fun with it.

I am having fun, lol. I know my bf isn't like that in a dispassionate way, he's just doing things at his own pace. It's not out of a lack of consideration, and I know he does love me very much. To go back to the commodification thing, a lot of people see sex acts like a shopping list of wants to check off, or as if they're necessary to feel desired in turn. Fun in sex isn't just quantifiable that way. Experiences aren't fungible like that. I could easily get more genuine enjoyment lying and stroking his hair than I have from some hookups before. When we got together, I knew he was intimidated by all of the expectations that surround sex - the bravado of his mates, the way it's described in media, how it's expected to fit into guys' egos. He was worried I'd think less of him for having boundaries. I'm disappointed in myself, frankly, for having been impatient or frustrated about how he's going about things, not that I'd said anything to him or whatever. Time spent with someone you love is beautiful for what it is. And fun, lol.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I watched this movie Blue Jean last night. It’s an independent movie about a lesbian gym teacher, and some other lesbians, living in Newcastle under Thatcher’s Section 28 (link because I hadn’t known about that specific law, not being versed on every bit of British history from the 80s and 90s beyond “Thatcher very very bad, miners on strike”, though I know Canada’s had similar legislation). I realize that plot sounds like something someone would make up if they were trying to describe the stereotype of a hypothetical indie movie. I really, really liked it anyway. Or maybe I shouldn’t say “anyway”, as though I liked it in spite of it being a stereotypical indie movie. What’s wrong with being that?

I’m the sort of person who should be really into indie movies, given everything else about me. My dad and I share an interest in Canadian folk music and British comedy, and he’s also really into independent movies, and by rights I should share that one with him too. But I’m just not that into movies generally. If everything that happens is on the surface, two hours isn’t long enough for me to get hugely invested the way I do with a book or TV show, and if there’s enough subtle artsy stuff going on to imbue it with extra meaning, I tend to not know enough about how that works to catch most of it.

There are exceptions. I think my favourite movie might be The History Boys, for which I try to find a lot explanations for why it’s not really equating homosexuality to adult male teachers who touch up male children. Obviously that would not be the message from Alan Bennett and the real message is about what homophobic repression does to people, but also, sometimes it’s hard to justify when the surface message very much is “homosexuality means adult male teachers who touch up male students”.

Anyway. Blue Jean. It is not The History Boys; it has a gay teacher but she very specifically does not touch up any of the students. It is really, really good. I can’t remember the last time I enjoyed a movie that much. I don’t know enough about cinema to explain this, but I’m pretty sure the acting was very good. And the directing or editing or whatever leads to all the shots that convey a hundred things in eight seconds with no dialogue.

All right, this got long, so after finishing this post I’ve come back up her to add a “keep reading” link. It also takes a turn for the increasingly personal after this point that I didn’t really plan, so... fair warning on that. Also, honestly, this post was kind of hard to write, so I’m not going to edit it, sorry that it’s full of errors. I feel better for having written it, though.

The intensity with which they make you feel everything that happened is amazing. Or that was my experience, at least, and I usually come out of movies where people say that’s what’ll happen and think I don’t get it. I got this one though. They did something right. My attention span did not even begin to waver for the 95-ish minutes.

It was an interesting way to learn some history, a bit of what it was like to be gay in Thatcher’s England, specifically in a school setting in Thatcher’s Northern England. And harrowing how little some of it changed for a couple of decades, which I hesitate to say because I’m incredibly lucky to have no idea what it was like to be gay anywhere in the 80s. But also, fucking hell, they took a few little shots to make the horrors of being gay in a high school gym class change room radiate off the screen. That, at least, was not that different in Canada in 2005 from this blue-hued indie movie in Thatcher’s England. You feel that terror just from a few seconds of watching the movie. And you say, “Ah, this is how movies are supposed to work, getting you that invested despite not having that much runtime.” Again, by “you”, I mean “me”.

It did really starkly remind me how much that was the scariest part for me, as a teenager. It took me a couple of years to go from “okay, as long as I never tell anyone this and never write it down or say it out loud, it’ll be okay and doesn’t have to ruin my life” (age 15) to “yeah I’m pretty much out, I’ve told most people I know well and I no longer swear people to secrecy when I tell them… except telling them not to tell girls on the team, obviously” (age 17). It wasn’t until several years after that that I stopped worrying about girls from sports knowing, that one was terrifying for so much longer than everything else. Being in change rooms with them and doing contact sports with them was scary enough just when I thought they might know, and sometimes, those fears weren’t unfounded. Sometimes, they did say shitty things in change rooms, because teenage girls can tell there’s something off, whether you tell them or not.

This of course makes me think of rhetoric around trans people now. I hate saying “what people said about gay people in the past is what they say about trans people now”, because it ignores the fact that they still say those things about gay people, and they said those things about trans people back then too. Also, it’s not separate, it’s a general sense of anyone who seems like they don’t “belong” in the safe space of the change room being targeted. Trans people who have the wrong bodies, gay girls who will look at the straight girls the wrong way – all unsafe, predators just by being there.

But these days, there is a lot of specific mainstream rhetoric around trans people just existing in change rooms being a threat to girls and kids generally. And somehow, that rhetoric manages to pretend that cis gay people are the victims of those trans people, rather than being the victims of that same rhetoric that thinks the wrong people being in a change room is an automatic threat. Change rooms are supposed to be a safe space for girls to not have gross people looking at them sexually, and any gay or trans person has always been seen as a threat to that (even though, I hope it goes without saying, gay and trans people are overwhelmingly likely to be the ones carefully staring at the change room wall in fear of being accused of seeing anything they shouldn’t see, they’re not looking at anyone sexually in there), which is how people end up calling someone an abuser or a predator just for being trans near a child.

I read something just recently about how trans women ruin change rooms’ status as safe spaces for teenage girls, and all I could think was how they did not feel safe for me as a teenager. I don’t need to get into all my high school gym class experiences, but the change room was definitely not a safe space free from fear or harassment for me. I’d probably have felt safer if I’d had some trans people in there, feeling like I wasn’t the only one ruining their otherwise perfect environment.

Anyway. Despite all the flashback-inducing shots of high school gym class from a gay girl’s perspective, that wasn’t what brought back the most memories. That would be the main character, a gym teacher who makes every move carefully, watches every step, for fear that she’ll be found out and accused of being a predator just for being a lesbian in the presence of teenage girls. Fucking hell, that was well done in that movie. I’m pretty sure that main actor was very good. I don’t know enough about acting to say, but I’m pretty sure good acting was involved in why that hit so hard.

That brought back fun memories of the time I was 22 and had a fifteen-year-old girl come to me for help because she was suicidal and in an abusive home, but beg me to not tell anyone, and I got to navigate the line of “break the trust of a teenage girl who came to me in confidence, who’s already had every adult in her life violate her trust and she told me this left her unable to talk to anyone but I’d been so kind to her and she was so scared that she took a chance on telling me”, or “not tell anyone what she told me and possibly have a teenage girl kill herself because I didn’t do enough to prevent it.” While also knowing that just about anyone I could report it to would tell her parents, and I had good reason to believe that would only make the situation worse. I remember her sending me a text that said “I Googled what to do if I want to kill myself and it said to tell an adult”, and I almost wrote back to say “Yeah holy fuck go fucking do that”, until I realized she was doing that. Again, I was 22.

Long story that spans the next year of me making lists for her of confidential hotlines and sources of therapy and professional crisis support, and making anonymous calls to her school board to find out how much she could open up to them about without her parents getting told so I could encourage her to talk to a guidance counselor, making her promise to call me if she needed me, making sure my phone was always charged and always had the volume up loud enough to wake me up if it rang in the middle of the night, missing social events and sometimes my university classes to take her calls every time, having nightmares about her dying and it being my fault.

Her mother never knew most of what was happening, but at some point she found out I was gay and coaching her daughter, and then decided that the small amount she did know of her daughter’s mental health problems were my fault. That I was a predator grooming her daughter and trying to make her like me. She threatened all kinds of things, and then I had a new thing to be terrified of. Either I’d respect the mother’s demands that I stay away from her daughter and then a girl might die if she was cut off from support, or I tried to keep in touch anyway, get accused of horrible things, and my life is ruined. Coaching was my life, I knew I wanted to pursue a career working with youth, all that would be gone.

Stayed in this difficult position for about six months, still taking the girl’s calls but terrified of her mother. I started having people I knew come to me to tell me this mother had cornered them to tell them that I was a danger to teenage girls and they needed to know there was a gay predator in their midst. God knows how many people she said that to who didn’t come tell me about it.

At the national championships, my friends told me they saw this mother yelling at her daughter outside, at first they wouldn’t tell me what she’d said beyond the fact that it was really bad, but eventually I got them to tell me one direct quote, which was: “If that fucking dyke ever comes near you again, I’m calling the fucking cops.” Weirdly, my first question was who else was around to hear that – I guess because I already knew the mother hated me and the daughter knew it, but if my friends who already knew the story overheard it, then some people in our community who didn’t know the story but did know me might have heard. They said our university coach was standing nearby and they were pretty sure he heard.

I had this confirmed a couple of years later, when that university coach got worried that I was trying to recruit one of my former athletes back from him (which I fucking wasn’t, he drove that guy away all on his own, but that’s another issue), and he told that athlete not to trust me because I have an history of being sexually predatory toward my athletes. I was devastated when I heard that, because that guy was my coach for two years. My high school coach was horrible (again, different story), but my university coach seemed like a nice guy when I was there, helped me through some difficult stuff, gave me good advice, I looked up to him and trusted him. And he knew me, I was shocked that he’d believe something like that about me just from overhearing a few things shouted by a woman he didn’t know. Honestly, he probably didn’t believe it, he was just using it to play politics. Playing politics with something that absolutely traumatized me – I mean, you’d think that some things would be off limits even in the cutthroat world of recruiting one fucking kid for your varsity team. Though he may not have known how bad it was for me. I wouldn’t know what he thought, I haven’t been on speaking terms with him since this happened like eight years ago. I did watch him yell pointlessly at an athletic director in a coaches’ meeting at a tournament two months ago, though, and wonder why I ever gave a shit what he thought of me.

It didn’t work, either. The athlete he was trying to turn against me did know me, and he knew the story of why that mother had spread those rumours about me. He didn’t tell me what the coach had said, though. He told a mutual friend of ours, and made her promise not to repeat it to me. She got drunk and told me about a year later. Desperately hoping she’d somehow gotten the story wrong, the next time I saw that athlete, I asked him, “Last year, when [coach] was trying to turn you against me, did he say anything that you’ve never told me?” And he said, “Are you sure you really want to know?” And I said, “I think you’ve just told me.” And he said, “Did she get drunk and tell you?” And I said, “Yep.”

And he said, “I’m sorry, I only tried to keep it from you because you’d already been through so much and I didn’t think you deserved to hear something so awful. You know I’d never believe a word from that homophobic asshole, right?” And then he gave me a hug and told me I’d been like a mother to him. And for the record, that guy is Muslim, and everyone in this story who treated me like shit is white. I’m only mentioning that part to say that people who think Muslims are the big threat to gay people can fuck off right alongside the people who think trans people are the big threat to gay people (yes, Islam and all religions can be a threat to gay people, but Islam is mainly a threat to gay Muslims, so hating all Muslims is not a great solution).

Anyway. Writing all this is making me want to say “trigger warning” about that Blue Jean movie, because it turns out if you watch it and you were once accused of being a predator for being a gay woman who works with teenage girls, it might drag up some traumatizing memories. But that doesn’t mean people shouldn’t watch it, it just means, you know, maybe save it for a time when you can handle that. I meant for this post to be mainly about the movie, and did not realize how much I needed to write all this out until I started doing it. That movie did bring up some stuff.

In case anyone was wondering, the girl survived. She finished high school and moved several hours away from her mother, and we’re still in touch sometimes. She’s just started a PhD. She came out as gay a couple of years after high school, and I had a small breakdown, terrified that her mother had been right all along, I had, in fact, been somehow grooming her and turning her gay (please note that I did have the sense to not express this to the girl in question). One I had a horrible panic attack about it and expressed this fear to someone at a mental health hotline, a number I still had in my phone from when I’d first sent it to this girl when she was fifteen. The person on the phone pointed out that if there’s any way in which it’s not a coincidence that she came to me for help and turned out to be gay like me, it’s because she sensed that I she could trust me because I was like her, even if she didn’t know why yet. Which I think may be true. I saw her in person a few months ago, when I went to a tournament in the city where she’s living now. She told me she’s now several years older than I was when she first came to me for help, and she now realizes how young I was and how hard it must have been for me, but she appreciates everything I did for her. She did not say I made her gay.

After I finished watching the movie Blue Jean last night, I watched the new Hannah Gadsby special, Something Special. It’s lighter than he last two shows, about how she fell in love with, and then married, her now-wife. “Show that’s all about how I got into my relationship” is usually not a type of comedy show I love, but that one was pretty perfect for last night. Watching Blue Jean made me really enjoy seeing a lesbian who grew up in the 80s and 90s tell us her love story with the woman she married. Because as much as I’ve been through some shit, I have no fucking idea what it was like to be gay under Thatcher, or under those similar laws in Canada at the time, or anywhere in the 80s and 90s, or in a place that’s liberal than urban Canada now. I’m very lucky to not know that, and I felt genuinely inspired by seeing a woman who has been through that tell a positive story. I don’t even want to analyze its merits as a comedy show or anything (good though, it was good), it was just perfect for last night.

Watching those two things in a row last night was pretty cool. If anyone wants a night of watching cool lesbian things, may I recommend the movie Blue Jean followed by the Hannah Gadsby show Something Special? Made for a very gay night – the gayest night I’ve had since I broke up with my girlfriend last year. Anyway. I’m doing fine. I’m going to go back to listening to The Bugle now. With Andy Zaltzman, who was making jokes about the absurdity of anti-gay marriage arguments in 2007, and that wasn’t exactly a revolutionary stance for a leftie alternative comedian to take even back then (I’m still not clear on exactly what an “alternative comedian” is, but whatever definition you use, Andy Zaltzman is it), but still, it wasn’t the mainstream view at the time. Also, Andy Zaltzman has an agender sister (I believe the specific identity is “unsubscribed from gender”, and I’m pretty sure Helen Zaltzman is still cool with the word “sister”, correct me if I’m wrong) whom he fully supports, and the only time I’ve heard him make a joke about trans people is when Boris Johnson said “We’ve sacrificed to keep Britain safe” during the pandemic, and Andy pointed out that it is “overwhelmingly a good thing” that people can use any pronouns they want these day, the only time when anyone should be stopped from using any pronoun is in that one instance, Boris Johnson doesn’t get to say “we” there.

[rad4learning]

I have previously shared quotes from The Power of History by Kathie Sarachild in part one of Feminist Revolution. One I didn't share is this:

The journey from learning about "radical feminism" from social media to then actually learning about the history of radical feminism has been so renewing. I feel so much more aligned with traditional radical feminism - and particularly what's known as "the pro woman faction" than with the how radical feminism is often portrayed on radblr.

Stuff like this could've been directly written about radblr:

...

(then there's discussion about the interconnection between cultural feminism and lesbian separatism)

This is from The Retreat to Cultural Feminism by Brooke in Part Two of Feminist Revolution https://www.redstockings.org/index.php/feminist-revolution-an-abridged-edition-with-additional-writings

I do not understand how radblr will acknowledge that the landscape encourages women and men to act in particular ways and then focuses their efforts on convincing women to change as opposed to - or as a means of - making changes to the landscape. Suggesting that perhaps feminism should be more focused on changing society than changing yourself is met with the idea that the mechanism for changing society is to be an example for other women to aspire to. I think it's sad, really, that so many women feel so disempowered that they think their best opportunity to make an impact is to act as a sort of role model. Another post could probably be written about tumblr specifically liking "normalisation" as a vehicle for social change and the impacts of that. But that's not to say there are no positive impacts from this! I think encouraging women to be skeptical of the true return on investment from conforming to expectations of women is fantastic! (incl. makeup, shaving, man-dating etc.) I also think that for some women doing what they can to opt out of male-dominated society can be highly beneficial for them & setting up spaces & networks which facilitate that can be a great aid to women. There's opportunity for a whole side conversation about people treating "radical feminism" as "useful feminism".

I'm also sick of us stepping on each other's toes and being told about "real radical feminism" from women who seem to be a lot less familiar with the history*. I think it's sad that cultural feminists were able to successfully take over what radical feminism means in the eyes of most people. I do think the anti-leadership and anti-spokesperson attitudes facilitated that. But now, when we're at the point we are now, I think it would be useful for radblr/adjacent women who are more aligned with "pro woman" traditional radical feminism to find a new name for ourselves. In our pocket of sympathetic blogs I think there's been much more uptake of the idea that "radfem" ideals aren't a 1:1 of radical feminism since we first started talking about this. I do think we keep that line and acknowledge that history. I also think it's still going to be easier for us to have in-community discussions with like-minded women if we adopt a new label for ourselves that isn't going to be as misunderstood and fought over. \* especially ironic when you have people using the "personal is political" line for that given Carol Hanisch's views and the intent of the essay

Edit: as this is getting reblogged it’s increasingly likely someone will run into it who doesn’t know this. I want to emphasise that “lesbian separatism” is the name of an ideology. An ideology that not all lesbians agree with and not everyone who agrees with it is a lesbian. This post is long enough but I’ve posted my thoughts on political lesbianism elsewhere.

Another day, another fruitless attempt to inform 'rad'blr that it's conflating radical feminism, one branch of feminism, with 'lesbian feminism,' a separate branch of feminism (ironically, 'lesbian feminists' split from radical feminism over radical feminisms failure to condemn opposite sex relationships).

[bonnissance]

yo so what if Pippa is a she/they nonbinary femme who sent up Pentangle’s bc they were sick of nonbinary and genderfluid magic casters not having schools to learn magic in bc gender segregated methods. And they were tired of young trans casters having to transfer schools and leave all their friends behind as they figured themselves out just so they could learn magic approp. to their gender. 

So they set up a school that integrated prev. segregated methods of casting so that students would find the right balances of magic vibes to make their casting work, in a logistics structure where children don’t have to uproot their lives when they figure out they’re trans and nb children don’t have to choose between closeting/misgendering themselves for education and self- or coven teaching themselves magic 

Pentangle’s School for Hardcore Crafty Types ftw

[lgbtpopcult]

A note from the editors...

On First Kill and What it Says About Netflix, Media and the Undo Burden Queer Women Have to Carry

I have no criticisms for First Kill. The people who worked on it did their best with the limited budget and experience they had. Even with its flaws the concept was good and the story of the two girls alone managed to get more viewership than many Netflix series that are constantly renewed.

I will however talk about Netflix. I have been very vocal of my criticism of Netflix in the past but always put that aside so we can promote wlw media on this blog wherever they came from. But it was always blatant how the idea of queer women leads is viewed on the platform.

Netflix initially launched into mainstream culture in great part due to offering diverse shows like Orange is the new Black (a show specifically diverse in terms of women's sexuality, with queer women leads). Shows that were considered alternative and progressive compared to Network TV. After succeeding in gaining popularity because they offered the thing others didn't, Netflix content shifted. Even though investing in creating a quality show with a wlw main couple had paid off in the past they decided being more like network TV was the best strategy. Any attempt at inclusion for queer women was either carefully veiled behind projects that "are not really about the gay girls, the gay girls are just there" like The Prom, promoted without a hint of the lgbt content like Everything Sucks and Teenage Bounty Hunters or not promoted at all like Feria The Darkest Light, The Half of It and I'm Not Ok With This. They were generally given very little room to succeed. Most of the wlw focused projects were never promoted, had unknown actors and given a small budget.

If the project was big, well promoted and expensive it meant the screentime of the queer woman was limited. Even Warrior Nun (based on very gay source material) and Babysitter's Club (with everyone thinking the lead has to be queer) simply gave a side character 2 minutes to be out as a gay girl and called it a day. If they're investing big you can count on the gay woman part to be small. This came to a head when they changed the lead's sexuality in Archive 81 (who was a lesbian with a wife in the original podcast) and made her wife her gay roommate. "And they were roommates!". It was in some ways laughable to what lengths they'd go to because of their need to limit queer women to side characters in big projects they're actually invested in.

But First Kill was a series putting the wlw couple front and center so we had to believe all of the above was a coincidence right? We gave them another chance and they proved everything we had been seeing was right. They set it up to fail and when it didn't they justified the cancellation by saying it didn't succeed enough. That's the thing. It would have succeeded enough if they hadn't set it up to fail so blatantly.

Netflix will rain unbelievable amounts of money to get the biggest names from the TikTok, acting and music worlds to star in their big budget straight cheesy romances. They gave First Kill 10 dollars and candy to paraphrase a person who worked on the show. They were unwilling to pay for the really good, experienced writing team needed to turn a vampire romance story into a well fleshed out TV show. As a result the writing was acceptable for a vampire romance novel but not for live action TV dialogue. They were unwilling to pay for good cgi. As a result the cgi made CW shows look good in comparison. They were unwilling to pay for expensive, popular actors. They were unwilling to pay for any sort of production value. Why? Because they don't have enough faith in projects about queer women to invest in them. But the wlw shows have to succeed anyway or else we confirm their aversion to invest in our projects was right. We are asked and creators are asked to make a hit out of something without given the proper tools and then told we don't sell.

That is our vicious circle with Netflix even if it's proven that when money and work is put in to a project that centers wlw, people will come. Even if millions are lost on failed projects that center straight ppl. Even in a world where Gen Z is set to rule the world and it's a generation that is more and more queer.

Queer women are expected to consume projects that are lesser than those of straight ppl and even those of gay men. Unfortunately, we live in that messed up intersection of misogyny and homophobia that makes investing in us somehow the last risk to take. As they liberally throw money away on worthless trash. But it's straight trash so...

Good news is Network TV is dying. Netflix imitating their focus on a default basic straight audience (and the white gay pretty boys they can fetishize) does not seem like a good strategy for the future. Other services that are putting real effort into bringing queer women out of the TV margins will become the entertainment providers of the most sexually diverse generation of women we've ever had. Let's bring about that future as soon as possible. Go watch Paper Girls, Yellowjackets, Harley Quinn animated series, Dickinson, Crush... If you're a woman, or non-binary person, and not straight, fuck Netflix. Cancel your Netflix account.

Do fear for The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo. Expect as little from Netflix as possible. That's what they're willing to give you.

Twitter said it best: