#who am i kidding i'd cough up way more than that

[papa-evershed]

Rob James-Collier NANCY

[svtiddiess]

(Casually sets disownment aside) MY TWINNNN!!

In light of the hoshi babysitting dream i shared, I am curious, how much would you charge to babysit the svt members as children? Lets say the if the regular rate is 15$/hour and you're stuck with them for the whole day. (no one debate me on economics its for funsies pls)

(You can't disown me, you're stuck with me forever.)

TWINNN!! I love this ask so much. I just know some of them were little menaces cough, Jeonghan, cough. Answer is under the cut, along with baby SVT pics!

Seungcheol

Price: $15/hour

I'd go with the regular rate with him. He doesn't seem like too much of a troublemaker, but since he's the youngest of the family, I'd expect him to be a slight brat. The pouting makes up for the brat behaviour though, so no extra charges for this one.

Jeonghan

Price: $100/hour + therapy

He's a menace now; imagine how much more of a menace he was when he was young. I just know he'll go out of his way to make the experience as miserable as possible, and he'll somehow make himself the victim. A hundred dollars isn't enough. They need to pay for my therapy as well.

Joshua

Price: FREE

LOOK AT HIM!! I would do it for free. Just let me pinch his little cheekies. I just know he was such a sweetheart when he was a child. I'd ask to babysit him every day just to see him.

Jun

Price: $15/hour

Let's just take a moment to appreciate how adorable he looks in the picture. He was a mischievous child, for sure. Definitely will be getting into trouble and causing headaches. But he's adorable so no extra charges.

Hoshi

Price: $50/hour + medical fees

He's 100% an ankle-biter and an iPad kid; you can't tell me otherwise. The moment I take my eyes off him, he's putting himself in a dangerous situation. HIS HANDS WILL 100% BE STICKY ALL THE TIME. FROM WHAT? I HAVE NO IDEA, AND I DON'T WISH TO KNOW. They need to pay for my medical bills as well due to all the injuries I've sustained.

Wonwoo

Price: $10/hour

Definitely was a quiet child. Would probably just want to play video games all day, which I can get behind. But I would probably end up crying cause he managed to beat me at every single video game we played. His consoling makes up for it though.

Woozi

Price: $15/hour

How has Woozi not aged a single bit? Anyways, since he was an only child, he was probably quiet and well-behaved. Standard rate for him cause I'd be forced to watch Dragon Ball Z with him every time I babysit.

DK

Price: $30/hour

He definitely was a loud child. Would be screaming nonstop. The extra fee is compensation for the damage done to my eardrums. Other than that, he would be great to babysit.

Mingyu

Price: FREE

LOOK AT THIS LITTLE CUTIE PATOOTIE!! He's so adorable, I love him. He can do no wrong in my eyes. He can ask for whatever he wants, and I'll give it to him without hesitation. I'm going back to babysit every day just to see him.

Minghao

Price: $1000/hour + therapy + medical fees

This was the most normal baby picture I could find of him. That's saying a lot. He was definitely mean and scary when he was a child. I would be babysitting him against my will. Would 100% make me cry in the first 5 minutes. No amount of therapy is going to help me recover from the trauma that I received from him.

Seungkwan

Price: $30/hour

Look at this sweetheart! He's adorable! He seems like a sweet child who can do no wrong. But I'm not gonna let those cheeks fool me, I just know he was a sassy and petty child. Double the price for needing to deal with his attitude and side eyes.

Vernon

Price: $30/hour

I've seen his interview videos. He'd be a yapper for sure. Seems like the type to wander off somewhere if I'm not paying attention to him too. Therefore I need to be paid double to deal with him.

Dino

Price: FREE

Look at this little babie!! He's adorable. I would volunteer to babysit him. No fee needed. Just let me squish him, please.

[olderthannetfic]

As someone who some times works with disabled people who do handcrafts. It's not actually an accessibility support to make those thousands of sizes, so I really get your issues with it.

Most of those patterns work like shit. Most of the physically disabled people still do their own patterns and adjustments, they just need tools that are better suited their individual needs. A person in a wheelchair or with one arm has to adjust things, but the ones I've worked with, who've been into their crafting hobbies for decades, can do most these things themselves.

People with mental disabilities (lower functioning (IDK if Anglospeakers still use that term tho)) can't get a use out of these hundreds of pattern types because they need a different kinda help when attempting them. (Easier standard patterns with good instructions are way better than advanced patterns ranging from the XXXXXS to XXXXXXXXLs, basically)

All in all, these "inclusive" patterns whatever else falls into it is just another one of those "THINK OF THE DISABLED!!!" when in most cases it's performative and seems to be more of a "Lazy ppl/Hustlers use disabled people to demand/sell something."

--

Godddd.

The latest crochet thing was an issue where the pattern is written in a normal, traditional style. It has a lot of shorthand. It also explicitly says that it isn't for beginners. The free versions are a video or one of those oldschool blogs with bajillions of ads that make it impossible to read.

Now, I can see why this would be a problem, especially if you aren't willing to cough up the $5 for the download.

However, the solution is to either teach a person to read traditional-style patterns with their nice, succinct abbreviations or find them a crafting buddy who can work with them one-on-one on that particular pattern.

Learning to read patterns sometimes isn't easy. That's true for everyone with every type of brain. That's why it's a thing you teach. The moaning about this is like someone going "Some books are harder than See Spot Run and that's bad!"

The wank was a combo of people wanting every pattern written out fully in sentences the way one on etsy from last week would be and of people wanting to participate in some stupid viral tiktok trend and thus "needing" an accessible version of that specific pattern.

(Someone created said accessible version... i.e. they drove traffic away from the blog post with the ads. Good job, genius. Both this person and the pattern designer have ended up with a million haters descending on their heads, of course. Everybody lost.)

--

I'd trust a designer like Skeindeer Knits to have some idea how to design a sleeve that can fit over my upper arm. I would not trust Andrea Mowry and her weird stick arms ideas about biceps circumference. I love her patterns and especially her promo photos, but jesus.

I think there's a poisonous pattern of both ~needing~ to make what everyone else just did (so all patterns have to be all things to all people) and of everybody just picking whatever designer looks most aspirational in their photo shoots.

I'd have way more respect if "I only promote size inclusive patterns" was followed by "Here are designs from designers who found a plus size model or who are plus size themselves" instead of "I checked the size range listed on ravelry." (Who am I kidding? Of course they won't do that. So few big designers bother to get a plus size model that it would mean tons of extra work for the youtuber doing a pattern roundup.)

So it all ends up back at "The sophie scarf looks good on everyone!!!"

It's the holidays.

Everyone is making that overrated dishrag as a gift for their 20 nearest and dearest.

Kill me now.

[rooksblvd]

Itafushi headcannons

megumi is the only person who's ever made yuji blush in all seriousness

megumi is a hoodie hoarder (of yuji's hoodies ofc!)

yuji likes running his fingers through megumi's hair when he's asleep

they've been on countless ice cream dates (ofc megumi would call them otherwise but like-)

yuji walked in on megumi fresh out of shower once and it took him a full whole minute to regain his composure (and get his insides to stop tingling)

"So are you just gonna stare or?" Megumi cocked a challenging eyebrow, the faintest edge of amusement coating his tone. If Yuji kept looking at him like that for any longer, Megumi would have to step back into the bathroom to get rid of the inexplicable heat emanating off of his muscles. "I-", Yuji cleared his throat, as if to chase away any last remnants of how heavy and hot his insides felt from showing, "- yea, sorry, I was just- would you like to catch an ice cream later?" he blurted out; It had been weeks- 27 days precisely (of course he was counting!) since they'd last went out together. Just the two of them. Between the growingly demanding training schedule and countless missions Gojo was bent on sending them on, it was getting harder to catch each other selfishly lately. It bugged both of them more than they would've liked to admit. The only difference was that Yuji would actually come up, heed to the temptation and ask him out already, while Megumi would bait him walking around half naked like that. Megumi shrugged, "Yea I'd like that," he was really hoping he was doing his best to smother the excitement in his voice, but boy did Yuji know any better. So he nodded finally, cutting his brooding little black cat some slack, "Okay, cool, so um, see you in a while? When you're-" another cough "-decent," God why was it so hot in this room? With their date outing settled, Yuji turned to leave. Maybe it was all the sleepless nights catching up to him, or maybe seeing Megumi's towel hanging that low had short-circuited the nerves of his brain, but Yuji could've sworn he saw Megumi don one of his hoodies, out of the corner of his eye; one which had disappeared out of the blue after a mission, one which he'd been searching for incessantly. And there the stupid butterflies went, making a fuss in his tummy.

ever since megumi caught yuji sneaking off to the terraces at night to actually relax without feeling the responsibility of the world drooping his sanity, he makes it a point to accompany him

they don't do much, never talk even, just sit against the rooftop, with yuji's head on megumi's shoulder, megumi's fingers intertwined with yuji's on his thigh and their gaze fixed upon the same stars

ever since the encounter with sukuna, megumi has to have his head on yuji's chest so he can actually sleep, listening to yuji's rythmic heartbeat is what keeps his going

the first time megumi ever called yuji by his first name, was when he moaned it against his mouth after their first kiss

yuji fell in love with him all over again after that instance and now he gets pissy everytime megumi calls him itadori when they're in public

megumi would let yuji style his hair (only on sundays, and yk this is big coming from someone as reserved as him)

yuji would casually throw around sexual jokes when with megumi, unaware of the effect it has on him

yuji secretly (oh who am i kidding, megumi obviously knew ab it; with the way my man's got his eyes on him 24 7, i wouldn't be surprised), mixed their colognes once because he liked the idea of it

their first kiss was actually initiated by a frustrated megumi in an attempt to shut up a stupidly beautiful an annoying yuji

yuji may or may not have had an existential crisis over his crush making the first move

nobara is the first person they come out to

yuji's love language is quality time while megumi's is acts of service both inside and outside the bedroom

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okayyyy you guys, I'm so sorry for posting this so late. Truth be told, it's been sitting in my drafts for weeks, I was too caught up with my exams so I was giving it a rest. But a girl can only take her mind off of two silly little gays for so long! So here it is. I'm ngl, but the way writing about anything jjk related in general, especially anything stsg or itfs centered, never fails to boost my energy levels up is crazy. I love love love them w all my heart, and I try to express it in my hcs. I know they may not be exactly canon-compliant, but they're what side of my brain that's a sucker for happy endings seeks refuge in. So yea, I try.

PS The yuji-asking-megumi-out tidbit was supposed to be only like a few lines, idk how I ended up writing all that-

Alsooo I've been wanting to write an itfs fic for awhile; not that I have a solid plot at ready or anything, it's just an urge I have (and I know that's not how writing works lol) so maybe, just mayyyybe, ima try to work on it in my vacation? (which starts from tm btw). Cause if I actually do plan on going ahead w it, it'd be my first ever fic, and tbh it seems just as scary as it seems exciting. Either way, if you managed to read this far, I'm grateful that you did!<3

Long live itafushi!!!🎀

[nevertheless-moving]

Stormlight AU #3 (Kalarin Rumors): Chapter 7 Part 2

Chapter One Premise Outlined Here

"Captain? Can we speak for a moment?"

"Of course," Captain Kaladin said, not looking up from the indecipherable chart of messy glyphs, laid atop a pile of those like it. “Just let me finish — Sigzil what about seventeenth—” Teft sighed, leaning against the door and idly picking at his fingers. A few minutes later the two managed to finish their conversation. The worldsinger gave Teft a sympathetic look and a pat on the shoulder as he passed by on the way out.

Teft felt he deserved more than that for what he was about to do.

He stepped into the Captain's private room, which functioned more like an office for how often he actually slept, closing the door behind him.

Best to get it over with. Teft squared his shoulders.

"I was hoping to talk to you about... whatever's going on with you and Prince Renarin." 

Kaladin blew out a heavy breath, leaning back against the desk. To his credit, he didn’t look embarrassed, so much as resigned. "Alright. Yes, we guessed that figured that you all had... noticed something."

"You could say that," Teft said carefully. Hard not to notice when you come back from private ‘training’ wearing each others shirts. Idiots.

The captain scrubbed a hand across his face. "Give me until tonight, alright? I'm pretty sure Renarin is about ready to talk openly with everyone."

"Uh," Teft said, face screwing up, a spark of panic rising from beneath the awkwardness. "Storms lad, I wasn't suggesting you make an announcement… we're just worried about the lighteyes noticing something. Prince Adolin basically walked in on the two of you, doing..." he coughed into his hand. "Whatever you were doing."

"I appreciate your concern," Kaladin said. "Truly, I can’t tell you how grateful I am for the tremendous loyalty you've all shown, covering for us without asking questions. Not to mention how much of an effort you've made to include him in the crew." 

"He's... a decent kid. For a lighteyes," Teft said begrudgingly. "And, well. We've all noticed you've been, uh. Sleeping better. Which...storms he could be a lot more annoying and we'd probably still teach him cards, for your sake, you have to know that."

"He really is a good person," Kaladin said, looking slightly defensive.

"Of course," Teft agreed quickly.

"And he's hardly a kid. He’s barely a few months younger than me."

"You're a decent kid, too," he said, smoothing his expression with long practice. Storms really? I knew you were young but... the prince was nineteen, wasn't he? Blood of my fathers, I’ve been following a teenager. Well. At least this makes a bit more sense now, Almighty help us all.

"I'll go check with Renarin, but do you think we might be able to get the men to meet inside tonight, after dinner shifts are over? I'd rather not risk being overheard by any of the other crews, and it would be easiest if we could talk with everyone off duty all at the same time.” Kaladin scratched his chin, looking down at the pages. “Actually, if we make a few switches, if Lopen’s cousins and the old guard agree…could probably get most of the original bridge off for the evening."

"Jezrian's crown,” he whispered. “So it's… so it’s serious then?" Of course it was. When did you do anything not seriously. Stormfather, what were they going to announce? It’s been less than two weeks!

"You could say that." 

Teft looked to the sky. Oh, this was going to end in desolation. But the two were young, and had more determination than sense. "Nothing’s ever simple with you, is it lad?" 

Kaladin sighed, then stood, patting Teft on the shoulder as he walked outside.

They found Renarin polishing leathers with Mart and Bisig, all three listening to Lopen tell some story with grand gestures and whole body movements. 

The prince perked up like an axehound pup when the Captain approached. Storms. A lighteyes who acted like a loyal servant, and a darkeyes who acted like a caring lord. Maybe they deserved each other.

The two stepped away, conferring with bowed heads. Mart and Bissig exchanged amused expressions, while Lopen stared, leaning their direction with utter shamelessness.

The brightlord blanched, hands fumbling for his box. Kaladin put a hand on his arm, smiling softly and whispering something. 

Teft turned away, not wanting to see anymore. Damnation, he needed a drink. Kaladin Stormblessed could probably have had any darkeyes he wanted in all of the camps. Nales scar, he probably could have had a fair number of the tenners, maybe even a niner. But no. The ambitious moron had to reach for a third dahn, son of a highprince. Why didn't he just storming try and seduce the king and be done with it?

No. I’m being unfair. Teft groaned, kicking a rock with his nice, black leather boots. Boots he wouldn't have had if it weren't for the captain.

Kaladin was a good man. Maybe some would accuse him of social climbing, but anyone who knew him knew how ridiculous the idea was of him using someone like that. The two morons were in love, or, more likely, having good enough sex that they had convinced themselves it was love.

They should have been more insistent about dragging Kaladin to a brothel. The man just hadn’t seemed interested. In any of it! Not that he had been listening, when they were all living in Sadeas bridgeyard, without the nice privacy shields even Kholin infantryman got but he had never even heard the Captain —

"Teft?" 

He jumped, turning to face the captain guiltily.

The man gave him a slightly curious expression, but didn't ask. 

"Renarin's ready. We'll talk to everyone tonight — those who aren't on evening guard anyway."

"I'll tell the men,” Teft said, resigned. “Some will kick up a fuss about not going out, but they’ll all want to hear."

Kaladin nodded once, then looked past Teft, noticing a sergeant from bridge twelve who was hovering nearby. He walked over to deal with one of his ten ten impossible responsibilities. 

An announcement. Screw a drink, he would deserve something stronger than that after tonight. All he wanted was for the lads to be a bit more discreet. And they had to go and decide to make an announcement. 

They couldn't be planning on getting married, could they? Bad enough he strongly suspected they’d already traded soldier's oaths. It had been what — jez's balls, six days, seven? And it was insane besides, the prince's rank — Almighty's tenth name, what was the prince going to do, resign his position to be with his lover? Disinherit himself? Could he do that? 

…Highprince Dalinar might actually kill the captain. He might kill all of them, while he was at it.

Teft sighed, then went on his own way, spreading the word like a death sentence.

[marsbutterfly]

I for one am delighted to see someone opening up AOT requests! I feel like I haven't seen anyone do so for a very long time.

I'd love any kind of short one-shot about Reiner with an s/o who doesn't want kids, like maybe y/n confessing to not wanting children and him actually being cool with it?

I get a little bummed out when so many Reiner things talk about him wanting children more than anything. Like, obviously fics and headcanons about him wanting kids are fine, but I don't think I've seen anyone (with exactly one exception) talk about him being content just to love and be loved by an s/o. One person even told me point blank that Reiner wouldn't be happy in a relationship with me if I don't want kids. Sheesh.

Yeah, We've All Heard That Before

Summary: One simple question from your future mother-in-law first thing in the morning is enough to derail your entire plans for breakfast.

a/n: hey zeki! it's been a while! thank you for sending in your request and for answering my questions. I hope I did it justice in some way ♡

warnings: just fluff, fem!reader, kissing, mentions of pregnancy, slight jeanpiku if you squint, reader doesn't want kids, mentions of anxiety, not beta read (we die like men ♡)

wc: 2.7k | wattpad! | ao3!

“Apparently, Pieck is pregnant,” Reiner says as he flips the pages of his newspaper. The rain pouring outside sets the perfect atmosphere for a cozy morning: no meetings, no angry phone calls, and especially no being apart from him. His voice is a bit raspy, telling you that he is struggling to stay awake but his efforts don’t go unnoticed.

“I will bet you $50 right now that it’s Kirstein’s,” you respond in the same tone of voice, a small hint of playfulness hiding behind the seriousness of your features. Even though you are facing the counter, focusing as you prepare your morning coffee, you can still hear Reiner choking slightly on his tea, a laughter muffled by the sounds of his coughing and you can’t help but smile to yourself.

“Alright, I’ll take that bet,” he says after taking a couple of minutes to compose himself, enough time for you to start making some pancakes for breakfast. As soon as you hear his voice, you turn around to face him, your hand firmly gripping the handle of the pan, “I think it belongs to the boy who works down at the docks. He is always bringing her flowers when we come back from our trips and I’ve seen her sneak a couple of glances in his direction.”

You can’t help but laugh, “I don’t think she even remembers his name, but you got yourself a deal. Easiest $50 I have ever made.”

It’s Reiner’s turn to laugh, a delightful sound you grew more and more used to hearing now that the two of you were living together. Life after the rumbling wasn’t easy. While he found himself being an ambassador and dealing with business regarding the isle, you were quite happy making a life for the two of you back in what used to be Liberio. Though you had been spending most of your time alone, the moments you had the chance to be with Reiner truly were magical.

A comforting silence fills the kitchen, the only sounds you can hear are casual sippings coming from the table and the hissing of the pancake mix against the pan. For years, all you have ever wanted was to spend peaceful days such as these with the man you love. It has taken a while and the near destruction of all life on Earth, but you can finally relax and make him some breakfast.

You flip the pancakes a couple more times to make sure that they are perfectly golden on both sides before placing them on top of the stack, a bottle of syrup next to the plate. You readjust the stack slightly before turning around and taking a couple of steps forward, placing the plate in front of Reiner and for a second you could have sworn that you heard his stomach growling.

“Thank you, sweetheart,” he says, a massive and gentle smile stamped on his face and you nod, making your way back to the stove to prepare some sort of breakfast meat. Though you fully expect him to start digging in, you can hear the chair moving backward and his heavy footsteps making their way toward you. 

A quiet giggle escapes from your chest once his hands find their way to your hips, pulling you closer to him. His breath on the back of your neck causes a few goosebumps to rise and you lean your head backward against him, “that tickles.”

The two of you stay in silence like that for what feels like forever and like not nearly enough time. His breathing is steady against your skin as he takes in the comforting scent of your favorite body wash. You can tell there is something on his mind that he is struggling to find the words to express, so you just wait patiently until he is ready.

Finally, he takes a deep breath and says what he’s been meaning to.

“My mother asked me the other day if we ever plan on having kids of our own,” he says quietly but, in that moment, you feel like he screamed the words at the top of his lungs. Your body goes stiff against his touch before a few trembles erupt, some of them nearly strong enough to cause you to drop the pan in your hand. Of course, this sudden shift doesn’t go unnoticed by him and he immediately tightens his grip around you, “Are you ok? Do you feel sick? Here, maybe you should sit down for a while.”

"What did you say?" You try to pretend the comment hasn't impacted you as much as it did, but the faltering in your voice is clear evidence that something is wrong. Your vision clouds slightly and you can barely make out his figure standing not too far from you.

The truth is that, even before you and Reiner got together, before you even met him, you had decided that you had no interest in having kids. Sure, the thought did cross your mind once the two of you started dating, but ultimately you decided that this life was not for you. The topic never quite came up so you didn’t have a reason to tell Reiner about it.

So now that the moment has come, now that it is time to have this conversation, you can’t help but panic. You have had this discussion in your mind a thousand times, overanalyzed every possible scenario, every little reaction he might have, and even planned out spots where the two of you could talk. But the kitchen first thing in the morning was not on your list.

His grip on your waist is firm as he guides you towards the dining table at the edge of the kitchen, your legs trembling slightly as you take several unsure steps. At this point, you aren’t even sure anymore if your body is the one doing the walking or if Reiner is just carrying you toward the seat.

There is a panic in his eyes that you haven’t seen in years and it makes your heart ache, “let me at least get you some water.” As he pulls away, your desperate hands grab hold of the edge of his shirt, your eyes fixated on the floor as he stands in place, unsure whether to turn around to face you or to continue moving towards the fridge.

“Stay,” you whisper and he nods. Silence once again fills the room, like the world might end if you even open your mouth to say a single word. Your heart beats a thousand miles per hour, 

He takes a seat next to you at the table, one hand touching your thigh while the other holds your own, his thumb brushing above your knuckles in a feather-like touch. His sheer presence is enough to soothe most of your worries, your anxiety melting away. Until he begins speaking again, that is.

“Please, tell me what is wrong,” he begs. The desperation in his eyes is genuine and you can see that he means well. The sound of his voice is so gentle, you could nearly mistake it for a lullaby. When your eyes remain on the ground and no words leave your mouth, he continues to plead, “I want… I… You can trust me. I love you so dearly. Have… Have I done something wrong?”

You widen your eyes and you desperately shake your head. The thought that he is blaming himself for how you are reacting to the situation nearly breaks your heart, the lump in your throat grows by the second as the words keep dying before they even have the chance to come out. 

“Y-You don’t understand,” you stutter, your body is still trembling and your voice is faltering, but you can’t let him feel guilty for something he didn’t do, “It’s not you! I-It has never been you!” “Then, please…” He flashes you with those hazel eyes, a wave of guilt and overwhelming love rushing over your body with every single beat of your aching heart, “Talk to me.”

“I’m… I.. R-Reiner, I…” You stutter, unable to fully express your emotions to him for the first time in who knows how long. But when he notices the slight tremble in your hands, he moves closer, his fingers lacing with yours before he places your palm above his heart, the careful beating slowly soothing your nerves, “I’m not sure… No, I AM sure that I don’t want children.”

In response, he lets go of your hand and stands up, taking a step back. You can feel your heart about to shatter, the tears threatening to fall down your face and your knees about to give out, but he lets out a laugh, a heartfelt laughter that comes from deep within his throat.

He finds himself bending over the table, his stomach hurting from laughing as he smacks his fist against the surface. You go through several emotions at once and so many questions go through your mind:

Confusion: “Why is he laughing? And why is he laughing so hard? Is the thought that you wouldn’t want kids so funny to him that he has to laugh to keep himself sane? You knew Reiner had always wanted children, but you hadn’t realized he wanted them bad enough that it would diminish his love for you?”

Anger: “Who the hell does he think he is to be behaving this way when you just shared such personal information and something you had kept to yourself for as long as you can remember? Does he think you are worth less just because you don’t want to be a mother? Or is he acting like this because you, God forbid, remind him of his own mother?”

Sadness: “Are you not good enough for him? Is he under the impression that your love for him can only be measured by how much you would like to have his children? Is he suddenly like your family, who always assumed you would change your mind whenever you fell in love with the “right man?”

Confusion again: “Why the FUCK is he laughing?”

You clench your jaw, fists tighten as your nails nearly dig into your palms, you can feel your face heating up while tears of frustration burn in your eyes. You want to yell at him, to give him a piece of his mind and storm right out of this kitchen, maybe even throw the pancakes at his face, but before you have the chance to do anything, he speaks.

“That’s it?” He asks, his certain footsteps in your direction closing the distance between your bodies before his meaty arms come crashing against your waist, “Oh, I thought you were going to tell me that you don’t love me anymore or that you had an affair. No, I don’t care about having kids.”

His words catch you off guard, the whiplash being so intense that you find yourself stumbling backward towards the chair once again before taking a seat. Your voice dies in your throat repeatedly before you finally gather up enough courage to speak, “B-but… I’ve seen the way you act around children, the way all the women around us are constantly telling you what a great father you would be.”

Moving at a gentle pace, almost as if you were an injured and scared animal, Reiner takes your hand in his, his thumb gently brushing above your knuckles as his warm smile never falters. You can tell he is doing the best he can to bring you any sort of comfort in this moment and you can’t help but allow your heart to be filled with gratitude.

“It would be nice to have a kid of my own, especially after basically raising Gabi and Falco but,” he brings your hand up to his lips and plants a gentle kiss on your skin, “I would only ever want a child with the woman I love and, well, that happens to be you.”

You can’t help but allow a small sob to leave your lips, a sudden wave of guilt about to rush over you, a fear that you are holding him back from having something he had always desired. But before your spiral can get too far down, he brings one of his hands towards your cheek, his fingers brushing a couple tears out of the way as he continues to speak.

“A child between us is theoretical,” he whispers, “but the love I have for you is the most real thing I have ever known in my entire life. And if having a life with you means no kids, then that’s fine by me. The only thing I have ever needed has been and it will always be your love.”

His hand gently touches your cheek, the warmth of his body calling your name as you take a step closer. Your arms gain a mind of their own and immediately wrap themselves around his neck, earning a delighted and approving hum from him. His palms move from your face as they find their way towards your waist, holding onto the bones of your hips tightly.

“Can I kiss you?” He whispers, desperate for your consent, a hint of fear behind his deep voice. You nod, a smile taking over your features as you place your forehead against his. He tightens his grip around you, enough that it might leave marks, terrified that you will disappear the second you are out of his reach. 

The minute your lips touch, the whole world seems to stop. Your kiss fits together like two pieces of a perfect puzzle, meant to be together side by side as they form a clear picture of happiness. His beard prickles your face and usually, you would consider the feeling a nightmare, but for some reason, it feels ever so comforting at this moment.

The tip of his tongue brushes against yours, teasingly asking for entrance. Not an ounce of sexual tension between the two of you at this moment, just two souls who were meant to be together, two hearts that beat at the same pace.

Reiner’s lips are soft, a direct contrast with the roughness of his hands. His blonde hair gently rests against his forehead, though it does touch your own the deeper the kiss gets, tickling your skin in a comforting manner. His breath tastes like toothpaste still and that is the only thing that serves as a reminder of the freshly made breakfast that awaits the two of you.

So you pull away reluctantly, still peppering his lips in kisses before you take a seat at the table. You can see a pout forming on his face but, when you point at the food, it immediately turns into a warm and excited smile.

“Is there a reason why you don’t want kids?” He asks, taking a seat at the table and taking a sip out of his drink. You lift your eyes to meet his, his hand scratching his chin and you can hear the scratchy sound of the small patches of beard that are beginning to form around his face. There is no judgment whatsoever in his voice.

“Not really,” you respond, bringing the coffee mug towards your lips while handing him the syrup, “I just never found the idea appealing. Do you think your mom will have a problem with that?”

He thinks for a moment before shaking his head, “I think she understands the feeling of ‘not wanting to be a mother’ better than anyone I know.” There’s an underlying hint of sadness in his tone, the air filling with the sounds of the fork and knife colliding against the plate as he takes a bite of his food, so you rub your foot against his shin. Once he swallows and flashes you a smile, he continues, “Besides, it’s not like it would be her baby, anyway. She’ll learn how to deal.”

You can’t help but chuckle, a warm sensation forming in your chest as you realize just how much he loves you. Reiner loves you just for who you are: every flaw, every talent, every random knowledge you tell him at three in the morning, every little detail. To him, you are and will always be more than enough.

[fedoraspooky]

I saw that you got into Felix cartoons lately, and I'm curious: have you watched any of the others besides Twisted Tales? What do you think of them? Also, did you know there used to be a live-action Barney-esque TV show for kids that had Felix and a koala as costumed characters?

Have I??

Oh Anon... sweet Anon. *puts my hand on your shoulder* Trust me, I am fighting the urge to become an unskippable cutscene about this as we speak. I'm losing, by the way.

But yes, I have seen... not all of it, but quite a lot, and I'll try not to write a whole novel! Key word being "try". .w.; You... might regret this actually, I'm sorry.

Starting with the 1920s cartoons: aside from the problems inherent in being a product of its time (*cough*racist caricatures*cough*), these shorts were a fun watch! Lots of surreal humor and visual gags. Felix was a scrappy lil' guy back then- stealing fish, getting into fights and getting drunk on several occasions. He didn't have his magic bag 'til the 50s, so he had to get a lot more crafty in using his environment or his own body parts (stuff like pulling off his tail and using it as a tool) to get out of trouble- and if all else failed he'd throw fists or pull a gun. XD Most importantly, he'd run away on all fours when scared, I just thought that was a cute detail. This is probably my favorite version of the character outside of Twisted Tales!Felix. (and the best part is this version of him is public domain now! Yay, free real estate!)

The 30's cartoons: There were only three of these. Idk, I don't have much to say other than they were cute and I enjoyed them. He's deffo more Mickey Mouse-like here, personality-wise.

The 50s cartoon series: This is probs the version of Felix most people seem familiar with- it introduces the magic bag (mostly as a time-saving measure since this show is DEFFO on a budget) and most of the supporting cast that have appeared in stuff since then (the Professor, Rock Bottom, Poindexter, etc). I didn't think I'd like it that much going in, but it kinda grew on me a little bit- primarily due to how janky the animation is, the stilted voice acting, and how out of left field the plots tend to get... It has a lot of what I like to call "naturally occurring shitpost moments". Ngl I've been tempted to make a compilation for funsies, much like I did with 80s Astro Boy... XD That said, it has its charm. Just a warning though, this WAS made in the 50s so be prepared for more "product of its time" moments in some episodes. .w.;

Felix the Cat: The Movie (1988): WHOOO IS THE BOSS? THE DUKE OF ZILL, OF COURSE~ Okay so, this movie? Idk if I'd call it a good movie, but it's definitely strange and entertaining. I watched the hell out of it as a kid and this was the very first animated Felix thing I had ever seen, so I can't really be impartial due to how nostalgia-poisoned I am about it. XD I liked the songs- even the ones that had no reason to be there, like the one that's about the foxes that only show up to piss on Felix and leave. We have a strange attempt at rebooting Master Cylinder as an invention of a bad guy from another dimension instead of being an evil robot guy from space? Felix laughs at the skeleton of someone who got crushed to death in a gold mine and blows a raspberry at it. There's... gyrating lady fish, and a swamp monster that shouts Marlon Brando quotes. The movie starts and ends with a giant disembodied floating 3D felix head... He saves a princess?? I guess??? There's just a lot that happens here.

Twisted Tales of Felix the Cat (90s): This one is obvs my favorite of the whole bunch. I know, I know, blazing hot take. It does a good job mixing in the fun surrealness of the 20s cartoons, and he goes back to doing stuff like taking the top of his head off like a hat and using body parts as tools instead of just solving everything with the magic bag (in fact it lampshades that a lot in season 2). It has more humor than just puns (Stares ominously at Felix Saves Christmas) though it does have some of those too (he even gets arrested for it at one point), and most of all it gives him an actual personality aside from "good boy Mickey Mouse clone but also kinda sassy sometimes" (once again staring ominously at Felix Saves Christmas I will get to you later!!). If you only have time to ever watch one Felix cartoon series in your whole life, make it this one.

Baby Felix (2000s) - I'll be real with ya chief I haven't watched this one aside from like one episode. From what I saw... eh, it was okay. I'm not usually a fan of the trend of cartoons having series of the baby/kid versions of themselves outside of a few exceptions (like A Pup Named Scooby and Muppet Babies, but idk that might just be nostalgia talkin'). Apparently he shows up as an adult sometimes in this show and helps out his baby self, which somehow doesn't cause a horrible time paradox? Idk I might watch more of it later, it CANT be worse than the next one, which is... sigh...

Felix Saves Christmas (2004) - This movie is not good. I went in expecting it not to be, and it met my expectations. Is it horrible? I kinda wish it was, so it would've been more entertaining that way at least. Mostly, it's just kinda boring. The humor is puns, and sometimes signs that say a goofy thing on it. It's got music, including a four and a half minute long song that just repeats the lyrics "Snow kids rock, snow kids rule, snow kids... are cool" while said snow kids do extreme sports in looping animations. Most of this movie feels like it's just padding for time so it can be marketed as a movie- if you edited out everything that wasn't relevant to the plot or the main characters, you'd probably have a 20 minute special. Idk it's just sad that this is the last animated felix media we've had in 20 years, since it doesn't look like dreamworks/universal is gonna do anything with him- they're just kinda sitting on the rights. There WAS a comic that came out since then, but I haven't been able to get my hands on it to read it. Maybe one day when I have money. XD ;

ALSO YES, I actually saw that live action show you were talking about! It's not a cartoon, but heck with it i'll throw in my thoughts anyway since we're already here.

Felix the Cat Live (70s): So I found this on youtube while poking around, and I gave a few episodes a watch because I was surprised by the novelty of this even being a thing that existed. Felix doesn't really act like any prior versions of himself here, he's just kind of a nice friendly kid show host who gives the kid characters advice about stuff. The costume itself isn't too bad, though his body's kinda lacking shape- it's kinda just black jammies with a big ol head on top. Interestingly they gave him a red bow tie with white polka dots and his eyes always look a lil sleepy because they're partially-lidded- probably to give him a 'softer' appearance. Also the koala is kind of like a weird proto-Rosco? At least personality-wise. I don't know if he's in anything else. Over all a strange watch, deffo the most obscure thing on this list.

...

So anyway! That's all my thoughts, Anon, I hope this was everything you ever wanted and that you don't wish you never asked me about the funni rubberhose cat. XD ;;

[popculturebuffet]

Next up for Nickelodeon era of shows, who is your favorite character from each of the late 2000s to 2010 Nicktoons shows (notably the longevity of Nicktoons around this time began getting less with only a handful from this point onward getting more than 2 seasons, Nickelodeon getting more reliant on SpongeBob around this time, and Nicktoons often getting moved to the Nicktoons channel for burning off episodes if didn't match SpongeBob's ratings instantly became a frequent occurrence at this point) you've seen like: El Tigre The Adventures of Manny Rivera, Tak and the Power of Juju, Back at the Barnyard, The Mighty B, The Penguins of Madagascar 2008, Fanboy & Chum Chum, Planet Sheen, and TUFF Puppy?

Now that i knew but nick being shitty to their cartoons was a constnat. Something they ALWAYS did this is just where, with nicktoons in place, they started being way faster about it. Had to put up less pretense.

El Tigre: The boy himself. He has an intresting dynamic of not being a villian or a hero (more anti hero), that really could use more exploration in a possible revivial or fanfiction (Wink wink), as the show generally lead to the good side and din't have manny do crimes too often. But he's still charming, funny and likeable kid with an intresting power set. As for the show it's pretty good, a bit broad for it's concept, but it works, with nice over the top comedy and gorgeous animation. Jorge Guteirez always brings it and I need to watch his other show and his film at some point.

Tak: Hal sparks kid only because he's hal sparks. I have an attachment ot the guy since I watched him on I love the 80s , which I also need to rewatch. Tak.. not so much. I hear the games are geninely solid 3d colllectithons and nick could do to rerelease them or have updated versions ala rehydrated, but the show takes a possible epic fantasy show with some goofy humor.. and turns it into "Kid with a lot of power fucks up a lot"

I've watched cartoons up to present day and while I fell off nick due to lack of cable and previously being awful at putting stuff on streaming (they've gotten better), so you have to wait some time and they can spread a season over years in some cases (*cough* loud house *Cough), I did watch for a long time.. and I was just.. not intrested in this at all. I'd seen it so many times. Just above el tigre does it better, as the villian or hero choice lets Manny get away with more shit than say Otto Rocket. And thus it dosen't work here: everyone's either vaugely filled otu or a dick, the mythology isn't really well built, and any hope of another action show is gone... I don't mind comedy in my action, the golden trinity of superhero shows i've covered here and the previous CN list should make that very clear... but I mind wasting another good fantasy show on this shit, especially at a time when the bar was sky high.

Back at the Barnyard: This one I remembered as being.. eh. Pretty weak first season I noped out of the show after.. but any time I caught a later episode... I saw a changea nd wish i'd gone back. Just from out of context vids i've found while season 1 had it's gems that are featured it fucking lost it as it went, including a full on war with weird al (Who did a LOT of voice acting back then and should keep doing it, he was great as milo murphy). So a show I didn't think much of but seemed to get a lot better once it stopped being a bland imitation of am ovie few people saw but is apparently good and started just embracing i'ts looney tunes esque madness.

The Mighty B: Don't really have one. This one was eh. I know some hate it, I thought it was okay and like many of these shows it got better but no one got to see that because nicktoons. It was nice to see amy pohler in a cartoon, hope she does it again, but overall like Tak , and a lot of the weaker shows from here on out, it comes out as a weak copy of stuff the network had done better: grossout, hero whose goofy but isn't like by most people but a select few.. there just isn't anything to what I saw of mighty b that makes me WANT to go back versus barnyard, which geninely improved and simply shed it's more standard trappings for something far more fun.

The Penguins of Madagascar: A spinoff.. honestly better than the movies. At least the ones i've seen and I really LIKED 2 when I saw it one time in a theater, so it's a compliment. (I hear 3 is really good). Like most film based spinoffs Nick has done, it takes a second to get going but was a lot of fun in highlight. I can see why kiean carlyle (Fan animator and youtuber whose covered both suite life shows (with the new video finishing the saga having just come out), wizards of waverly place, mighty med, labrats and mighty med and labrats) did a retrospective on it and need to watch that. The show isn't one of my all time favoirites, but it works really well and honestly WAY more than it should. A spinoff that just has "the characters the audeince took to" (the lemurs and the penguins) and no real ties shouldn't work.. but it does because the penguins are that strong and them doing various heists or other shenaigans work. Jullian and Maurice work as comic relief and having seen their show, work well enough on their own too. And Marlene and the Zookeepr were great additions. They let marlene be the voice of reason/love intrest without having her be boring. Granted getting Nicole Suilvan to play her helps, but the show was really good. Top notch stuff.

Fanboy and chum Chum: Their crazy totally amazing MAKE IT STOP PLEASE MAKE IT STOP. Yeah this one has an annoying theme song and like about half the shows in this block is a poor xerox of stuff that worked better in other shows. yet... it's more mediocre than bad. This may be THE most hated nicktoon, with only our next contestant rivaling it from what I can tell.. but it's just.. okay. It's not good, it dosen't really have anything going for it and most of it's gimmicks are taken from other shows , but it's not so bad it's good or high tier awful either. it's just a lame copy of better stuff trying to be spongebob or ren and stimpy or even regular show without any of the pizzaz those had. It's what an AI would make if it made a nicktoon. It's not really wroth hating it's just... there.

Planet Sheen:

Now for the oppisite. Fuck this show, First off I found out later it was supposed to be it's own thing.. and woul'dve worked better that way, with a pizza dude getting shot up into space. That.. sounds more fun and most of the cast would've worked. Making it a jimmy neutron spinoff.. was a terrible idea. The show had more to tell so instead of just.. reviving that if they wanted more jimmy neutron with a revivial/spinoff, they instead shoved Sheen into a concept that dosen't really work WITH sheen. Granted part of it is, especiallya fter revieiwng the christmas special recently.. sheen is more layered than he tends to be remembered. Even I forgot his nice well of sarcasm. Sheen in Jimmy Neutron is fucking weird... but he's often the straight man in their comedy trio to a degree I forgot. Carl really is the weird as fuck one, Jimmy is a man of science and can be the straight man to his doofier best friends, but can also get caught in his ego. Sheen tends to be the one calling jimmy out when Cindy isn't present or calling cindy out when LIbby isn't early on. Here.. he has none of that. He's just an obnoxious idiot who cheats on his girlfriend, also wanted to make out with carl (which isn't innacurate but of all the tthings to pick up on form jimmy neutron, and didn't use carl because of executiv emeddling. This one is the worst nicktoon so far.. simply because Nick tried to cram too much generic bullshit into it. It COULD'VE worked. Idiot stumbles into glory isn't new, but it would've worked better with a protagaanist they didn't dumb down in a new property. I dont' know why Nick made a terrible spinofff to a show they clearly don't care about, and I wish they hadn't.

TUFF Puppy: Kitty and Dudley tie.. both because they purdy, and because they play off each other pretty well when the shows working at it's best. Overall this show is just.. fine though. Not a bad get smart reboot, doofus with some talent lead and cat suited sensible sidekick, but like , say it again A LOT OF THESE SHOWS, it feels like reheated leftovers. It's just not AS bad because there's some creativity. For as much as butch hartman sucks, and he does, he can make a decent cast. He was half assing it a bit more here, but I suspect it's also because he didn't have say steve marmel to help iron things out. But as a broad comedy it's fine. It's nothing amazing, but it's not AGRESSIVELY medidocre like the bulk of shows around this time. It's stuff w'eve seen before, idiot, woman as foil, weird techie, chief whose goofier than he lets on, but it's also not bad. Maybe it's the furry in me... probably ti's the furry in me, but it also just has a lot of fun stuff to it. I can't really hate it like I did planet sheen or eh it away like most of these shows. It did try a little. Not a lot and it shoudl've tried more as it could've been really great, a new darkwing duck.. but it wasn't half bad. again Grey and Jerry do a LOT of the lifting. THe voice cast for this one is fantastic. But i'll take "it's eh but it has really good perofrmances " over "let's make the generic ideal of what a kid wants" anyday. CN hit a rough patch too, we saw it, mostly trying to follow nick's footsteps.. but nick REALLY slid in quality as it went with only a few bright spots. And what good shows it did have it gave up on too fast. and it just won't stop doing it either.

[walrus150915]

I AM DEEPLY SORRY BUT

I thought about Goldenheart fankids for a while so I've decided to make my own!

Now, it's important to acknowledge that I honestly believe that they wouldn't have kids post-movie. That makes sense thematically and it's kind of poetic if you think about it (a gay man being the end of his bloodline which started all this copaganda n stuff) but I😭😭 I couldn't stop thinking about this!!

I present to you:

THEIR KIDDO YUPIEEEEE

Some fun facts abt them:

- Aquila is a gender neutral name which means "eagle". I thought it'd be funny to keep the tradition of their weird medieval names. Eagle Braveman, a child of Godsfood Goodatsex and Staircase Braveman, gotta love that💅

- also yea. I gave them Bal's surname bc there's no way in the world Ambrosius would want to give them his surname. His bloodline ends with him in an good old gay tradition😎😎

- I think they'd be a happy accident tbh (if we're talking about seahorse dad situation shfjj)

- Nimona didn't expect to love them as much as she did but now they're literally her favorite person😭 siblings are REAL (although I think Nimona is like- sibling-uncle-aunt-family friend figure sorta kinda)

- About their personality? Well, they're reserved, not much of a talker, kinda socially awkward and overthinks a lot (just like their papas)

- They hate sports of all kinds like they CAN'T stand it. Also they don't know those knight traditions n stuff and have never held a sword in their life- I think that's a good "f u" to the system which expected children to become weapons bc Ballister, Ambrosius and especially Nimona would never let this child repeat all the stuff they all came through

- I don't think they even talked about their knightly upbringing to Aquila, and when Aquila asked about it they tried to avoid answering so bad

- About parenting btw- Ambrosius and Ballister both beat the "emotionally detached Asian father" allegations. These two are WAY too attached I'd say😭 they can be overprotective (cough cough Ballister) or overbearing (I see ya Ambrosius) sometimes (although Ambrosius is overprotective as well, if not more than Bal)

- Ambrosius tries his best to not repeat his parents' mistakes and let Aquila live a happy, relaxed childhood, but he slips from time to time. "Why did I have to work so hard to achieve even a little bit of acknowledgement from my parents and now this kid expects me to praise them even for the smallest of things" kind of deal. He slowly learns to relearn this way of thinking but- yeah, bro still has those good ol' Asian dad quirks

- I think Ballister had loving parents yet they couldn't provide for him or care for him properly because of poverty and social injustice. So now he makes sure Aquila has everything they need and are loved enough. It's really hard not to be overprotective of your child when you and your husband had an upbringing like theirs😭😭

- Aquila is kind of embarrassed by them because I think they both would be the type of dad who drives them to high school and makes them say "I love you too, dad" in front of their peers (like that into the spiderverse scene)

- With that said, they three all love each other despite all the hardships and stuff bc they're a FAMILYYYYY

- Nimona would be THE best person in the world for Aquila, she's their role model of sorts, I even think she'd be what helped them to realize they're enby in the first place

- Nimona would always be there for Aquila and would always be on their side even when they're in a fight with their dads

- They're the best buddies ever - Ballister expected Nimona to be jealous ("older kids of the fam" deal) but she wasn't in the slightest!

- Imagine Ballister and Ambrosius trying to make Aquila say "abba" or "appa", but the first thing they mumble is "Nim!" oh Nimona would DIE FROM LAUGHTERRR😭😭

Some general hcs:

- Ambrosius would read bedtime stories to Aquila when they were a kid and would miss this horribly as they grew up

- Ballister would make them clockwork toys

- Aquila loves sewing and customizing things

- Idk their sexuality honestly but I know that they love girls💅

- Ambrosius would distance himself from his family so much that Aquila barely knows them

- I think Aquila is aware of the whole Gloreth situation but doesn't care that much for her - after all, they know that it was some random kid 1000+ years ago whom everyone took as a hero when she wasn't

Some sketches of them shshwjne!!

Please don't ask me why Ballister looks like my grandpa😭

(Speaking of Ballister- I think at some point of Aquila's toddlerhood him and Ambrosius laid in their bed and Ambrosius was like: "Babe, what do you think of getting a second kid?"

Then Aquila immediately started crying in another room and Ambrosius signed heavily, standing up from the bed: "Yknow what? Forget what I said")

[jujutsustraycats]

wehehehehehe 🤩

IIISSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Oh my god. You're an old guy now i can't believe it I'm almost tearing up-

Man. You're kinda like so old now. I can't even. Kids these days grow so quick huh.

Anywaysssss flips hair

That only means i get to grow older and older with you 😎

If I had to wish something for you, i'd wish that you get much more amazing friends this year, get closer to finding what your true self and beliefs are, things you'd fight for and grieve over and of course. I'd wish for you loooooots of resilience, patience, empathy and hope. These come in handy, old man. Believe me 😌

Other than that i also hope you keep stumbling over amazing snacks (and snack discoveries) so i can keep stealing *cough* who said that *cough* sharing them with ya' <333

*bonks you 17 times*

Eheheheheh

NAAAAAAAMMMMMIIIIIIII!!!

OLD GUY??? *offended gasp* WHO YOU CALLING OLD, DIDI?

That's not the only way I grew because I'm still taller than you by about 4 cms–

You're gonna make me cry, oh my gods. And I wish the same for you! (Except you're already a lot ahead than I am– lol– but I too wish you that, because it never ends, does it?)

STOP CALLING ME AN OLD MAN SMH. THAT'S KARASU WITH HIS BEARD T.T

Fhjssuskwhsks. You don't need to steal, I'd share it with you, obviously.

[id-rather-be-home]

What do you think Ted thinks about gay people? He’s obviously conservative, but he doesn’t strike me as a particularly politically involved Republican. I feel like he’s too unmotivated for that lol. He’s very Milquetoast Suburban Dad™️.

Also, the Wheelers don’t seem to be very religiously motivated either. This is not to say that Ted would think gay people are “normal,” or that he wouldn’t be homophobic, but do you agree that it wouldn’t be in a fire and brimstone way?

Ted seems like more of a cultural conservative to me who votes Reagan because things are “good” under him, and there’s no reason to think any differently. Maybe he turns on the radio occasionally, but it’s not like there is FoxNews and evangelical preachers constantly in the Wheeler home. Is it possible he cares more about the economy than about social issues?

How do you think he would feel about having a gay son? Is it possible he already suspects it? Or suspected it at some point?

Also it’s hard to get a read on if Ted loves his kids. He obviously doesn’t really show it, but does he feel it? I feel like he at least loves Holly.

you really read my mind with this analysis on ted, anon!

i am absolutely obsessed with the wheeler family dynamic and how stereotypical it is of an 80s family

i cannot imagine ted wheeler being a fire and brimstone type of homophobe. is he homophobic? almost certainly, but i don't think it's due to deep seeded religious views. like you mentioned i think it's mostly because it's just not what is typical or 'normal'. i'm inclined to believe that ted doesn't extend much thought to gay people until it's brought under his attention by maybe discussion of the AIDS crisis or his son being gay

and, yeah, i'd say ted probably cares more about the economy than social issues. it's just so difficult to imagine ted extending the energy to care about social issues either way or hating a specific group of people - he's genuinely just kind of indifferent it seems

as for mike... i feel like ted might suspect something. he's made too many comments throughout the seasons for me to think otherwise, especially when he's like "our son with a girl?" of course that could have been him in disbelief over a girl liking mike because he's nerdy and not popular in any sense of the word, but with every other context clue about mike's sexuality in the show it just makes you wonder

i don't think that ted would be the type of homophobic parent to threaten to kick mike out of the house or become abusive (*cough* lonnie the son of a bitch *cough*). but i do think he'd tell mike to keep his sexuality and especially his relationship with will behind closed doors, and it'd be a subject not really talked about. ted likely wouldn't approve simply because it's not what is 'normal' and he might make some passing comments to mike that make his opinion known, but i can't see it becoming overly aggressive. i really believe ted would just rather not talk about it or acknowledge it at all instead - an out of sight, out of mind mentality

and i do think he loves his kids, actually. he's just a very stereotypical 80s dad that doesn't show it well at all. he probably assumes he's showing his love by providing them with a good house and food on the table. to him fathers aren't the ones who deal with the emotional stuff, that's up to the mother. he's no doubt even worse with mike about showing affection because it would be even more awkward for him to be open and vulnerable with his son rather than his daughters, and that of course is caused by misogyny and rigid gender roles/expectations

i am interested to hear what anyone else thinks about this!

[avaantares]

They say to write what you know...

Here's a little Easter Egg for my readers! (And also for history nerds! Or people who just like personal stories!)

There's a bit in CotFA about Nero creating makeshift building blocks for their foster kids by cutting up scrap lumber and letting the kids draw fences and brick patterns on them with crayons, because he can barely afford food for them and doesn't have money for toys.

The characters may be fictional, but the blocks are real. When I wrote the story, I was drawing on my own childhood memories, but recently I found a few of the blocks in a box (pictured above) and thought I'd share their history.

First, you must understand that my family's generations are EXTREMELY spaced out, due to multiple generations having children very late in life. My own great-grandfather was alive while Abraham Lincoln was in office -- and 159 years later, his youngest daughter, my grandfather's sister, is still with us. (In fact, I saw her at a family birthday party just a few days ago.)

For me, the American Civil War (1861-65) was just three generations ago. My aunt grew up during the Great Depression (1929-39). This is relatively recent history, from a personal memory standpoint.

What this means is that my grandparents, born in the first decade of the 20th century, were married shortly after graduating high school in the mid-1920s. They were a young couple with a toddler (my aunt) when the Depression hit. Though my grandfather was fortunate enough to keep his job, money was still extremely short, and sometimes they ran out of food or other essentials before he got paid. That experience instilled in them a deep-rooted thriftiness, bordering on dogma, that has been passed down to my generation (nearly a century later, I am STILL comparing cans of beans at the grocery and buying the one that costs three cents less, even though at this point in my life I can afford the national brand).

For the rest of his life, my grandfather did not spend a single cent that he didn't absolutely have to, and he saved and reused things religiously. When a shirt wore out, he saved the buttons (I still have his button tin) and then repurposed the fabric as patches or cleaning rags. He recycled wood from packing crates into things like storage boxes and tool trays, some of which I'm still using in my house today. (See the end of this post for a gallery of some of his work!)

Much later in life, my grandparents had my mother. Born in the 1950s when Westerns dominated the American consciousness, she grew up playing with toy horses and wagons and farm sets, and was (*cough* still is) generally the OG horse-crazy girl. She did have some commercial toys, but her father also provided her with blocks made from scrap wood to use as farm fences and jumps for the horses, because why spend money on expensive toys when there's perfectly good wood in the garage?

Fast forward a few more decades: My sister and I inherited my mother's old farm toys and added many of our own. We were used to having assorted old, reused and recycled things around, because that was just the family culture -- you don't throw things away if they can be repaired or reused, and you don't spend money on something if you can find a way to fill its function without spending money. (Today's consumers could learn a lot from my grandfather, I think.)

So, using several decades' worth of toy fences and fence substitutes, my sister and I built massive horse farms and show jumping rings on the living room floor for our toy horses to inhabit. We were very precise with our building, and different kinds of fencing (wooden blocks vs. molded plastic fences from a farm set vs. Lincoln Logs, for example) meant different things -- for example, the gates had to be a different kind of fencing than the fence proper so you knew which part could open to let the horse walk through. Children are extremely serious about such things. It never occurred to five-year-old me that you could make a play farm out of just one kind of fencing. Why else would we have all these different materials to build with?

The blocks pictured above were almost certainly used as toy horse fencing. The piece with the fence pattern drawn on it is actually decorated on both sides, one in a more controlled hand than the other. I think my sister (four years older than me) must have drawn a fence on one side, and I attempted to do the same on the other, but from the looks of things I hadn't quite earned my Fine Arts degree yet.

Gallery

My grandfather had a very white-collar day job, but he was also a skilled craftsman and artist -- and he labeled everything, often humorously. Here are a few of the items sitting around my house that he made.

A wooden lap desk with hinged lid for storage and a silly label (surname obscured):

A drafting board, complete with homemade triangle and T-square, both of which have their own storage slots on the back! I have used this as a drawing board, and honestly this T-square is better than some of the commercial ones I have. (The wood surface has aged poorly because it was stored in suboptimal conditions for a long time, which is unfortunate, as I love the size and convenience of this thing. I can still use it if I put a stiff plastic sheet under the paper, though.)

A silverware divider tray (which, oddly enough, is the ONLY one that fits my narrow kitchen drawers! I tried at least three "small" commercial models with no luck, and was thrilled when this one turned up in family storage)

A labeled (like everything) tool tray from his garage shelves, which I'm now using in my kitchen

A neat old food shipping crate that he dismantled and turned into a large storage box, which now holds my records

[joannes-journal]

Hollow Grove - Entry #2

CW: Death Mention, Sleep Deprived MOD w/ Grammarly as Beta Reader

Note: Hollow Grove is part of @h0ll0w-gr0v3, I highly recommend following that account if you're here.

=+=+=+=+=

Trinity and Dakota huddled up into my torso, their breaths almost perfectly in sync. Waves of sunlight threaded in through the curtains. I woke up later than I meant to, with my phone ringing. I didn't recognize the number, and neither did Jackie. The only thing we recognized was the area code.

I pressed the phone up to my ear, "Hello?"

The voice on the other end startled me, "Uhm.. Hello! My name is Raven, I just wanted to say I understand your problems in a way." Who the hell was this? I need to stop giving my number out to random hunters. "You and your children are allowed at the national park called Hollow Grove anytime! Free of cost!"

The name of the park sounded familiar, "Hollow Grove, huh? I might've heard of it somewhere…what kind of…wildlife…does the park have?" Dancing around the topic of the paranormal, I questioned Raven.

"We have wolves, deer, birds, and definitely some squirrels! Also, many bugs around the place- I wouldn't mind giving you a tour if you'd like." Right, no sane person would admit if they had a monster on their doorstep. Glimpsing at some maps Jackie and I had strewn around the kitchen, I saw one with national parks. Sure enough, Hollow Grove was up there with a star beside it, indicating that other hunters had mentioned it before. I had let Raven know I'd drive over alone before hanging up.

"JACKIE! I'M GOING OUT! DON'T WAIT UP!" I hollered out to the kitchen as I rolled out of bed. My bag already had a notebook and a camera, and the map I had been using was sitting in the car. The kitchen smelled of coffee; I poured myself a cup. "I got a call from Hollow Grove…I'm driving out, you need to watch the kids." My tastebuds recoiled at the taste of the bitter coffee; we hadn't bought more creamer or sugar yet.

Jackie tilted her head. Her dog, a little red duck dog, trotted past and into the living room. "Hollow Grove? That park with all those deaths? Careful out there, I heard some weird shit's been going on out there."

I shrugged on my coat and opened the door, "Which is why I'm going."

The trans am rumbled to a stop, the smell of smoke amongst the trees thicker than the oatmeal Jackie was eating earlier. It almost caused me to get to coughing but seeing a park ranger stopped me. They were making me wish I didn't drop out of college for that sack-of-shit husband.

Hollow Grove was beautiful, with its towering trees and wolves. Raven always had birds landing on her head and shoulders. I wanted to see the infamous graveyard first; death always seemed to cause strange happenings. I could start there.

The cool October breeze whipped my hair around. I went to tie it back while Raven explained when the graveyard started. As we walked, the smell of smoke got worse. I choked back a cough; my eyes began to water. A bluejay landed on Raven's head, reminding me of a guy I knew in college. He and his friends were a bit younger than me, and I only knew them because one of them had a student film they were working on.

We continued talking, and then things started getting out of hand. I didn't realize anyone had snuck up on us, but two strangers butted in seeming cryptic. One of them was focused on Raven, tilting their head at them, letting a Cheshire cat-like grin take over their features. The other, I couldn't put my finger on. He seemed like an oddball (in a good way).

Despite the hiccup, Raven kept talking. Then I heard the elk-like call in the distance. DISC0RD? I didn't realize I said its name out loud, and Raven was familiar with the name. My neck popped as I whipped my head around (I had been trying to pop it all morning anyway), and I stared. Should I investigate? But I don't want to risk the kids…

I had left the park a couple of hours ago, telling Raven I was heading home. Truth be told, I was walking through one of the nearby neighborhoods, trying to find the chaos. One of the houses got loud, screaming and fighting. The pungent smell of smoke seared my nostrils, stronger here than at the park. I put my ear up to the door; something in there sounded demonic, and the aura of the property was…evil.

I knocked.

=+=+=+=+=

[orangeboulevard]

One too Many (Oneshot)

This is for day six and seven, fell behind for a bit second. 😔 Smut (near the end), ocs. Mlm!

Dynamic: MLM, friends to lovers kinda?, hookup, college friends

Content: begging -> public/car sex -> dubious consent

Word Count: 1138

"How much did you drink?" Nick groaned as he helped his friend to his feet; the lanky nineteen-year-old was certainly heavier than he looked.

Michael only giggled in response, "Like... at least more than two cups? Maybe?" His words stumbled lethargically from his lips. He braced himself against Nick, his arm around the taller boy's shoulders, "Thanks for coming, man, you're... you're the best! And the coolest and the- uhh... Bodaciousest."

"Stop talking, man," Nick laughed; he helped his friend into the passenger seat of his car; he was about to shut the door when he spotted Michael struggling with his belt. 

"Give it here," Nick muttered as he took the belt, adjusting it whilst leaning across him to buckle him in. 

"Thanks, Nick," Michael whispered and looked up at him with those big brown eyes; Nick could feel his breath hitch, and he watched the journey of Michael's pink tongue across his lower lip with a captivated stare. 

A loud crash came from somewhere inside the party. The spell was broken and Nick coughed, stood up, and shut the car door. As he walked around, he mentally cursed himself: What the hell was that? What was he doing looking deeply into the eyes of his best friend like that? He must be tired. It was rather late after all, two am. Yeah, that's the reason. He's tired. He pointedly refused to acknowledge the fact that he'd been staring at Michael like that a lot recently. 

He entered the driver's side, Michael messed with the radio, flicking through stations, creating a discordant melody from the stop and starting voices and songs. Nick started the car and looked over his shoulder to backup, too many drunk college kids were idly roaming the streets. He beeped to get them out of the way and flipped them the bird when they threw their drinks at his windshield. 

Michael was chuckling. Nick shot him a look, "You find this funny? It's two am, man." He continued to mutter under his breath, "Dragging me outta bed to come pick up your sorry ass." 

Michael just grinned, "Hey, hey, okay. My bad." Nick could feel his eyes dart over him. "You know, you're pretty handsome. I don't know why you don't got a girlfriend." 

Nick scoffed, giving him a bemused look, "What?" 

"Like. If I was a girl, dude, I'd be all over you." 

"... You're really drunk, man." His fingertips drummed over the steering wheel, a nervous habit. "Alcohol must be screwing with your vision." 

"No, man. You're like... Poets would write about you." 

Nick laughed, humouring Michael's drunken ramblings; he asked, "Yeah, sure, buddy. What would they say?" 

That sets Michael off into a rant: "Probably something about those hard angles and steep planes of your jaw, the hair probably, it's heaven-made quality, and the eyes, oh yeah, they'd talk about the eyes." 

What the hell was that? Nick's brows furrowed, "Did the alcohol turn you into a writer or something?" He ran a hand through his hair, "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to flirt."

"Maybe I am." 

"Or maybe you're just really wasted." Nick shrugged, he was clutching the steering wheel tighter. 

"Or maybe I've been having thoughts about you." Drunk words, sober thoughts; as the saying goes.

Nick swallowed. "Oh yeah? What thoughts?" 

Michael had the sense to look embarrassed, "Okay, I'm not that drunk." 

"No, no back-tracking now, what were you gonna say? What are these thoughts of me about?" 

"You fucking me." There was a beat of silence.

Nick struggled to keep his eyes on the road; he gaped slightly, "Oh." 

They drove down a couple of streets. The atmosphere was tense. 

Nick was the one who spoke up, "You're just drunk, okay? You're probably not even gonna remember this tomorrow." 

Michael drags his hands down his face, rubbing his eyes, "Lucky for me. You're never gonna forget this, are you?" 

Nick laughed, grinning, "Never. All of our friends are gonna hear about this. There's no denying this." 

Michael's face was serious as he said, "And what if I don't deny it, I just admit that I want you to absolutely ruin me." 

Nick's heart jumped into his throat at those completely sinful words. He almost swerved off the road. There was a beep from the car behind. 

"You- you don't actually want that. Do you?" Can he even consider anything Michael says right now to be trustworthy or even true? Maybe he's just messing with him. 

"More than anything." 

Okay, Nick has to pull over before he causes an accident. The car rolled to a halt by the side of the road. There weren't any lampposts on this country road, only the dim moonlight illuminated Michael's features to him. 

"That's... Mikey, listen. I'll bring this back up when you're sober, okay?" 

"Nick, I kinda... I need you now." He shifted in his seat, there was a tent in his jeans. Jesus. 

"What... What do you need exactly?" 

"Your mouth would be nice, but anything you'll give me." It was a desperate plea, one he certainly wouldn't make while sober, his hips were shifting back and forth. Jesus. His voice was hoarse as he uttered the next word, "Please."

Nick was definitely going to regret giving in to Michael, but god, how could he not when he was practically begging? "Slide your seat back." 

He did so, eagerly undoing his belt after as Nick climbed over to settle on his knees, on the floor between Michael's legs. His hands wandered up the other's muscled thighs. Nick was a weak man. 

"Lift your hips," Nick instructed, it makes it easier to pull Michael's pants and boxers down. It was a damn pretty sight. Nick looked up through his eyelashes, studying the other's face. "You can still say no, you might regret this."

Michael's response was an annoyed groan, one of his hands wrapped into Nick's hair and he pulled him closer, Nick's lips were brushing against his glistening tip. 

He parts them hesitantly, trying to gauge the reaction when he gives Michael a little kitten lick. The other boy's hips buck, and he lets out a soft gasp. Sensitive. 

God, he wished he could record this just so he could replay the sound Michael made when he lowered his mouth onto him, his cheeks hollowed. It was an acrid, sweet taste, and he could feel every twitch against his tongue. He slowly began to move his head up and down. 

[sweetmage]

WIP Wednesday 🎉

Heeeey I'm writing Disco Elysium fanfic for the first time! ✨I always get nervous and overthink it when I start writing for a new fandom so I figured I'd start small and casual for practice!😅

Anyway, this takes place a few weeks after the end of the game when Kim and Harry haven't had much of a chance to follow up with one another since then. A little cafe meet-up to check in before they get back to business.

Contains big spoilers for the end of the game, of course!

Little could compare to the satisfying kla-thunk of the Kineema's door, save perhaps for the steady whir of the engine when it roared to life. Kim hadn't been out in a while, it was all paperwork and boxes for the final stretch, calls between the 57th and 41st to square away his transfer. It was nice to be back behind the wheel. He could almost feel himself deflate in his seat. When the frost had left his windows, his foot hit the gas and he was on his way.

The roads felt unfamiliar when he wasn't patrolling them, like if he spaced out for even a moment he'd wind right back up at his former precinct or perhaps the world would spontaneously rewind and send him back to the site of his last case...

A deep breath. He flicked on the radio and tuned it to something mellow, letting the noise fill the car and quiet his mind a touch until nothing remained but but his destination. The legendary Precinct 41... he whistled long and low to no one in particular, then settled back like he hadn't.

He'd do fine there, he knew that—better than fine, if he could help it—but he still wasn't without his trepidation. His career as an officer of the law hadn't exactly been smooth sailing. Fifteen years forced to oversee delinquent teens while his peers were out there solving real cases... the 'real case' that netted six dead despite their efforts... He shook his head.

He wondered how Harry was doing. They'd kept sparse contact in the following weeks, recovery updates and the like, but he rarely let them stray too far from professional. Whatever anecdotes or personal tidbits he had brewing were best saved for today.

Quaint neon lights and humble bricks greeted him as he pulled in to the café where he'd agreed to meet Harry. After all, they'd be partners again, in a way. Harry would give him the lay of the land, get him acquainted with everyone (perhaps more a test of Harry's memory than any true orientation) and Kim would oversee his progress during his probationary period, keep him on track. He tried not to dwell on how much that sounded like another kid-sitting job.

He found his way inside and was met by the gentle warmth of a well-loved interior and air smelling faintly of berries and cheap coffee. There was already someone in the corner booth, a man with a large frame and wild hair who was asleep. The waitress gave Kim a nervous smile and pointed her pen at the sleeping figure.

"Sorry ma'am," he sighed "I'll wake him."

The waitress' face softened a touch, but she didn't look pleased. "Yeah. You do that." She shuffled back behind the counter and left him to it.

Of course, Kim expected the worst. Painkillers, alcohol, both maybe? He'd been injured after all, and gravely so. It would only take one little slip up and...

"Harry," he said, his voice firm as the hand with which he shook his shoulder. "It's time to get up. Have some coffee, you'll feel better." Harry mumbled something in his sleep, a name? A refusal? Kim shook him again and he woke with a start and a cough, hands splayed upon the scuffed table and eyes wide like an animal before he focused and relaxed, slumping into the booth like a deflated balloon.

"Whu-?" He blinked up at him, squinted, then blinked again. He was unshaven and his hair was unruly, but he seemed sober, if only a bit tired. "About time. Traffic must have been killer, huh?"

Seating himself across from him, Kim cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses. "I'm early."

"Heh, so am I." He grinned, though he looked sheepish even as he reclined casually and threw an arm over the back of his seat. "Trying to impress you with my punctuality, but I lost it there for a minute. Feel free to still be impressed, though."

"It's good to see you up and about," he said, glossing over his request. "How are you doing?"

"Great! Fantastic. Feeling really good."

Kim eyed the dark circles under his eyes, the slight hunch of his back. "Really?"

"Really really. I'm a changed man, Kim. Totally reformed. No more of that... y'know," he waved his hand, "nasty shit. I'm going to be the most perfect cop. You're gonna be proud, you're gonna tell everyone, 'hey, I knew this guy when he was a big fuck-up. Now he's a great cop. What happened, you ask? I fixed him. That's right, he's my prodigy.' That's what you'll say."

"I don't think I'll be saying any of that. But, yes. I'm glad to hear you're on the right path. You seem happier, like the lights have come on." He raised a finger to his eyes to demonstrate his meaning.

"Still dark as hell when I close my eyes," he said, doing so with a deep inhale but then his smile went crooked and the glimmer came back. "But I gotta keep shining, baby. Light up the sky, you and me, right?"

"Right, keep shining," Kim agreed, nodding sagely, the slightest of smiles tugging at the corners of his lips. "And how are your injuries?"

"Only hurts when I run. Or walk. Or sit down. Or stand up. So, pretty much always. The scar will look cool, though. Like I'm a badass." He mimicked a few gunshots with his hand then let them drop to the table. "So, yeah, not great. Still healing. Still sore. You know how it is." His eyes darted to the side, then back. "How are you?" There was an earnestness in his voice, and... something else?

"You should take it easy for now. Your leave is up in a week, and I'll need you to be ready." He didn't answer his question, and the waitress chose that moment to arrive, notepad and pen in hand. "Do you know what you want? I'll buy." It was unlikely Harry had the funds anyway.

"I'll have what he's having." He flashed her something between a smile and a grimace, throwing in a wink for good measure, he supposed. She rolled her eyes. Harry looked a bit put off but recovered quickly.

"Alright then." She turned her attention Kim, pen at the ready. "What will you be having?"

"Just a coffee, ma'am, thank you."

Nodding and turned to retreat, she was stalled when Harry's hand came down hard upon the table.

"Wait!" He called to her, "I'm changing my order." The waitress sighed, exasperated, but he forged ahead. "I'll have what he's not having. Gimme whatever. Surprise me."

"He'll have an omelette, ma'am," Kim interjected, then turned back to him. "Please behave yourself."

"I think I'm the least of your worries this time," he countered, leaning his elbow on the table and his chin on his hand.

"How do you mean?" Though he asked, he had the hair raising feeling he already knew the answer. This was Harry, after all, he had that way about him.

"You'll do great at the 41st, just like you did at the 57th. You're the type of guy who could walk into any precinct, start handing out orders, and people would listen." He spoke like this was a well known fact. "You'd be great anywhere."

"I... thank you," he replied, caught a little off guard. "I hope you're right about that."

[aikoiya]

Hello there with a Danny Phantom question about the long-term possession and other things related to Mad Genius.

After many defeats from Phantom, a ghost (*cough* Technus *cough*) realized that he always failed to achieve his goal because Phantom ruined his plan and decided to do things differently and went to another town with the same ecto ambiance like Amity Park (but without a ghost portal) without anyone (ghost or Phantom) noticing and find a stressed and sleep deprived teen who is trying to make a machine but failed when it shorted out which caused the ghost (*cough* Technus *cough*) to greet the teen to make a deal to give the teen knowledge and the ability to make machines that no one can think of with a spark of genius (like a gauntlet that can lift thing from far away or a giant robot that is powered by sound, and a freeze ray which does what it says, you know, standard mad scientist/genius/engineer things) in exchange that the ghost possesses him to give the ideas to the teen, the teen agreed thinking that it a hallucination from his sleep deprivation.

as much as I want to give more detail you get the idea, the question I am asking is what happens to an overshadowed person after some time like 2-3 years of having a ghost possess them (like if the teen got the ghost (TECHNUS!!!!) out of him, he could have a true spark of genius which turn him into a true mad scientist/genius/engineer or something).

also If you want some inspiration for the Dash Baxter stand thing, you should find some good fan stand lore on the internet. And I will give you another DP question which involves Clockwork and the trope of Time police (the good ones), later.

Hmm... This is a good question. It also brings to mind that this is likely actual possession rather than overshadowing. I see overshadowing as subduing the host's consciousness, whereas possession is more complicated.

In this situation, it'd be a bit more symbiotic in which Technus is sort of riding around in the back seat while the host remains the actual driver.

I'd also like to quickly bring up the possibility that Technus didn't actually seem predisposed to villainy itself until Danny brought up the idea. So, I tend to wonder if had Danny instead brought up him using his scientific genius to benefit humanity as a whole, like by inventing ways to fix blindness, deafness, advanced prosthetics that someone can feel through, light bulbs & other appliances that last for 50 years, stuff like that. Would Technus have been as gung ho for that as well?

If so, then he might be less of a villain & more so just the dramatic sort who enjoys committing to the bit.

But yeah, it's definitely possible for a bit of bleed over to take place after so long. But it's also just as possible that it could be partially due to intellectual osmosis due to being mentally connected to Technus. Which might just cause the kid to simply learn from the guy as though he were the kid's mentor.

Heck, maybe you could go for a mix of both. In which, he's actively learning from Technus, Technus is teaching him, & some of Technus' innate genius is rubbing off on the kid.

Also, thanks for the advice. I guess that I just want Dash's Stand to be unique rather than just basic strength or something. Stands are just really weird & out there, ya know?