#white ppl are so embarrassing fr
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sevenpoyo Ā· 1 year ago
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school headcanons for because i only got 3 more weeks
margoā€™s is so long even tho she got like 2 minutes of screen time bc i love her so much and sheā€™s my gf
Margo Kess, 1610Miles, 42Miles, Gwen Stacy, Pavitr Prabhakar
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margo kess / spiderbyte
ainā€™t shorty on zoom in the movie?
my girl dont attend class, she once shut down the entire blocks power so she would have an excuse to not be in class
eats in class all class everyday, only shares with you
takes really good notes and never studies them
like???? maā€™am??? share???
all her electives are programming related and she pretends to busy while playing centipede all day
sends you 50 links to stuff you might like while ur in math
she got papers that let her opt out of gym
no matter how much you beg ur gonna be alone in gym and she doesnā€™t feel bad about it
popular with no friends type
like everyday 50 ppl stop you both and say hi
she only knows like 5 of their names she canā€™t stand half of them niggas
empty ass backpack like she got one notebook and one binder
all aā€™s and bā€™s like bitch how
her memory is absolutely ass but she can remember every story you told her or stuff that happened when yā€™all hang out
donā€™t ask her what she did in her class
donā€™t ask her if her class also has a history test
she donā€™t know
she donā€™t care
but she do know that when you were 8 your cousin burned ur thigh while yā€™all were playing iron vs knife fight
(u were dumb as hell for picking knife everyone knows iron always wins)
i looked it up on her word everybody uses those virtual avatars
sheā€™ll shit on your class choices so damn hard
she just likes making fun of your choices fr
like half of ur conversation go;
damn iā€™m tired
u was up doing stupid shit last night you donā€™t get to complain
stfu thatā€™s why ur a bitmoji
thatā€™s why ur granny beat ur ass for something your brother did when you were 9
i hate telling u shit
then stop telling me shit
(i have no clue how accurate this is to her character but i need to write about her iā€™m in love but damn itā€™s long)
1610 miles / spider-man 2 lmao
book bag full locker full but never has a pencil
writes notes assignments and homework in paint pen ink donā€™t ask this nigga for notes
(he gets nigga treatment but not my queen margo bc i got favorites)
he miss mad classes but somehow still solid attendance record???
somehow always present in the record he miss 40 days and get caught on like 6 of them
unless his mom make breakfast and lunch on her day off for him he eating the most random shit from the bodega closest to visions
like what do you mean you got a cosmic brownie and a cold chopped cheese from last night ? itā€™s literally 7 in the morning no i donā€™t want none
makes you hype him up every time he slap boxes people and heā€™s so ass at it
he be ashy with no lotion atleast 5 times every month itā€™s embarrassing
he calls visions his white people school to his parents and his friends
once he said it to gwen and they sat in literal complete silence for like 10 minutes
prolly took music theory because he thought it would be easy and switched out of that shit so fast
iā€™d be so mean to him for enjoying physics
like this nigga trying to make something of him self
lil einstein ass nigga
he understands color theory but canā€™t explain it
12 half full sketchbooks but at school he literally draw on computer paper he donā€™t let the sketch book leave his bag
i know heā€™s ass at watercolor, he always spills shit, the colors always end up brown
tryā€™s to be interested in your class choices bc he wants to know stuff he can talk about with you
when you first meet he canā€™t take meaner jokes bc he thinks that you mean them
but one day heā€™s gets comfortable, and brutal
no one in your life is safe when he looses a video game
except your mom
rio taught him better than that
42 miles / the prowler
comes to school with no school related supplies in his bag unless you count art stuff
finds a pencil on his way to class
has a change of clothes, rat tail comb, 3 bottles of water, a camera, a flashlight, lotion and cocoa butter.
like bro ur going to Ap Art not a camping trip
once he pulled out a griddle and and pancake mix and yā€™all started making pancakes in class
forgets his metro pass every day and gets so pissed ab it
runs into people in the hallway bc heā€™s never paying attention
idk if he goes to visions but if he does he calls it his white people school with his full chest to anybody even if theyā€™re white
he be leaving halfway through the day all the time like bro you miss algebra 2 every damn day
uncle arron always talking him out of school with some bullshit reason
broā€™s had his tonsils out 8 times on the schoolā€™s records
He will get ur parents to put his uncle on ur pickup list and you will be out of there with him
he will YELL if someone step on his shoes no matter what the situation like the school could be on fire and he fighting in the burning building
also his uniform is so pristine
his pants stiff
that button down is bleached ironed pressed and allat
this mfer is an online shopping addict u just know he be on amazon in class
will offer you the weirdest food combos like no i donā€™t want to put tajin mangoes on my beef patty iā€™m sick of you nigga
not school related but heā€™s super good with kids (both miles fr) but heā€™s the #1 little cousin defender and apologists
he ride for them always one of ur little cousins could sucker punch u and he be like
ā€˜they just want u to play with themā€™
he takes a preforming arts class for fun prolly
loves sports but doesnā€™t play one understands the stats well and would help if you played one
wakes up at the asscrack of dawn on weekends
SICK ASS COSTUME FOR HOLLOWEEN IK THIS NIGGA LOVE HOLLOWEEN
plans costumes for school spirit weeks but always checks to seen if heā€™s gonna be the only one wearing a costume for it
never eats lunch unless his mom makes it he be hungry all day and be complaining
his socks are never in uniform (yes some uniform schools have sock rules)
gwen stacy / spider woman / ghost spider
idk what to call her
she has every snack you could ever want in her lunch bag
hates her music theory teacher
she literally has the most pristine locker with a calendar and a mirror and all that shit will write down test for you and important dates for the both of you
goes to school plays and shits on the story, like she ainā€™t pay 5 dollars to be there
some of her teachers hate her
like maā€™am ur beefing with a whole 16 year old rn
she hate english teachers but love creative writing teachers
she keeps all her books in her locker never brings them home never brings them to class
always comes through with an extra pad no matter what
she also always has hand sanitizer
in like 4 extracurricular after school things and complains so bad
ur starting to hate that shit to ur sick of hearing it like girl quit then
10/10 cameraman she has every fight and every drama in 10khd and she will share them if you ask
she chews her pens and nails
has her drumsticks out always teachers have banned her from taking them to their classes
can watch tv on her phone but look focused you think sheā€™s paying attention but then you look over and sheā€™s watching good luck charlie
pavitr prabhakar / spider-man india
always late for class never in trouble
always eating and sharing food and never in trouble
how is he blessed like this? it ainā€™t fair
eats from the school vending machines or begs other ppl to share
will always have and share the homework answers no matter what heā€™s an angel
his sock always have holes in them like sir please get that shit together
gym try hard ik goes insane in football/soccer
very encouraging for shit u donā€™t wanna do he believes in you
you him and Gayatri talk so much shit but are somehow all well liked
he tells you what teachers are dating (he can just tell)
he has toothpaste in his bag for some reason?? i can just feel this one
his aunt will let you come over after school sheā€™s so sweet to you.
always got a job at school assemblies
heā€™s reading poems or shaking hand or leading in the school pledge or something
Pavā€™s is short because i have no fucking clue if school in India is different form america and Barbados
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dolladooley Ā· 1 year ago
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the dooley davenports x black!reader | general hcs
contains: adam, bree, chase, leo
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a/n: this will get zero notes but idc i am pioneering ts for lab rats. gif credit goes to him (me. bc i am him.) šŸ’Æ
adam
i have always been very loud about my belief that adam marries a black woman or man in the future
and i mean LOUD
he 100% does
the first time he meets u he's like woah
prettay
he likes watching how your hair bounces as you descend the stairs or even just walking on flat ground
he likes how u speak to him
you call everyone lil nicknames so whenever u say "baby" he's like šŸ˜ƒ
u help him with school stuff
bc you smart šŸ’Æ
okayyyy scholar šŸ˜šŸ˜šŸ˜
sorry
anyway
he loves seeing u
you anchor him
keep him from doing ridiculous shit that can get him hurt yk
turn into ur mom fr
he fidgets with his fingers a lot so he be playing in your hair
gently pulling strands so they spring back and wrapping em around his finger (ESPECIALLY when they're freshly moisturized and wet)
y'all are just saur cute to see
he's a big hugger so he rests his cheek against ur head and ur lil curls tickle him
and bonus points if you're significantly shorter than him
it's an adorable image when u hold hands
bc ur this lil person that is clearly able to easily escape restraint and u got ur tall white boy that's a lil dumb but happy to be here with u nonetheless
i love adam lawd
bree
bisexual queen
anyway
u guys become friends very quick
she complimented ur jewelry (a lil gold necklace) and u were like "aw thanks gang"
and from that u sparked a conversation and became very good friends very fast
she introduced u to her brothers, allat
u guys meet in the library every morning or u go to the nearby coffee shop before school starts
get some polite lil drinks and just.. talk :)
if you guys were to pack ur own lunches every day, y'all would do snack trades a lot
you defend her a lot against her brothers šŸ’€
the first time you said "boy shut up" to chase she got hearts in her eyes fr /hj
when she realizes she might have a lil crush, she doesn't act too strange but she is a little bit different
she hugs for a little longer than normal, just to enjoy the scent of ur moisturizer and ur hair products
when y'all have sleepovers she always cuddles close
she loves to cook with u
u show her recipes you got from ya mama and she enjoys them every time
she stares at ur lips when u eat
and talk
and
do anything at all
they are very kissable what can she say
chase
lord.
he's infatuated
INFATUATED
he only knew leo so he had no idea black ppl could be so fine /j
the first time he sees you, a little notification in his eyebawl goes off like "heartrate rising. entering cooldown." and it's SO LOUD to him
turns out you and leo are already friends
which is NOT helpful
because now whenever you're at the house he's frantic as hell
either trying to interact with you (extremely awkwardly) or hiding in the lab so he doesn't embarrass himself further
bree would come down like "just go talk to them loser" and he's like "I CAN'T šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­"
when she finally forces him to quit being a punk and at least say hi, he comes upstairs to see u looking out at the view
the sun shining through their big ass windows glows gold on your skin and to him you look like a god
he flees /hj
HE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO ACT
he eventually pulls himself together and soon feels like a fool
because talking to you is SO EASY ?
you exude a charm he has never seen heard or experienced from anyone else before
the way u speak to him makes him melt
that being said never call him a pet name
ever
a simple "sugar" or even just "baby" will make him overheat and shut down
leo
i'm already laffing
y'all are funny as SHIT
you were classmates before the davenports came in but you weren't really friends until after they did
you helped leo show them around the school and the two of you cracked plenty of jokes along the tour
many that the bionic trio did not understand LMFAOO
you two are so fun together and everyone can see it, even the trio who be fighting for they lives whenever y'all are speaking to each other /j
leo probably tells u ab the whole bionic secret after you witness one too many close calls and the way you handle it makes his baby crush grow exponentially
like YOURE SO COOL???? DIDNT EVEN BLINK AT THIS ABSURD ASS PIECE OF INFORMATION???? GOD THEYRE COOL AS FUCK
you guys share hair information and you bring home hotel shampoo's for y'all to share LMFAO
he let you give him waves once
it was comedic
tasha loves you
she didn't know you for a while because leo never brought you up when y'all were just classmates but after y'all became actual friends, you'd get mentioned here and there
the first time he has you come over is to work on a school project
she meets you and is like omg hai i'm leo's mom
and he's kinda like šŸ˜ pushing her away like he did in the avalanche episode with janelle LMFAO
you like "why you so mean to yo mama" and it makes him sweat /j
you like tasha too and you guys often have tea together when leo is late for y'all's lil hangouts
she gasses you up to leo all the time like he didn't know you first
"your friend, [name]? they're cute!!!" "i know mom" "go ahead and ask that out" "MOM"
he eventually does (it was actually you but he tells tasha it was him)
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lunas-side-anime-blog Ā· 2 years ago
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Modern College Student/BFĀ ArminĀ Arlert Headcanons
(rewatching aot and damn I forgot how much I love armin. Ā someone pls put me onto some good armin fan fiction? Ā this boy doesnā€™t get anough attention honestly, lemme know if you guys want me to do anyone else, im thinking eren next?)
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Pre law student
I think in the modern world, Armin would only look at his love for the ocean and nature as hobbies. Ā When it comes to investing in his education and making money to support himself and his family, heā€™d go into a major heā€™s good at just to be safe. Ā And thatā€™s persuasive arguments, crazy attention to detail and maybe a little manipulation for the greater good so yeahā€¦lawyer it is šŸ™‚
Currently focusing on political science for his BA before law school
Shares a small apartment with Eren and Mikasa cuz they all looked at dorm life and were collectively like ā€œyea, fuck thatā€
Armin and Mikasa are up first every morning, and they usually share a lil breakfast together before deciding which one should dare try to drag Eren out of bed
Has the best color-coded notes, the type of student to type into the chats links to resources he found helpful when doing the homework, pulls thru with the quizlet right before quizzes
Heavy on that study beats, listens to it even when not studying
Has canva pro and no you cannot use it šŸ«¶šŸ»
Strict study schedule but he doesnā€™t go overboard like other honor kids. Ā He gives himself plenty of breaks and plans his workload so he can enjoy his weekends bc he knows heā€™ll be useless all burnoutĀ 
His Starbucks order is an iced brown sugar oat milk shaken espresso, sometimes with a blueberry muffin, boy likes his sweets
The Starbucks staff around the corner knows him personally and even have a lil crush on him since he's there so often, polite and always puts something in the tip jar (he may get a few free cake pops here and there)
Loves the sims and doing little legacy challenges, the type to get emotional when his sim gets married or has kids because he fr raised them
Deep into the lore too, has his theories about Bella Goth and hates Don Lothario with a passion
One time Eren deleted his saved family and Armin didnā€™t speak to that man for two weeks
Secretly loves fanfiction but only found family fanfiction bc it reminds him so much of his relationship with Eren and Mikasa. Soft spot for anything Harry Potter tho (proud ravenclaw)
I donā€™t think heā€™d smoke weed bc I feel like heā€™d be a paranoid high so itā€™d be more stressful than relaxing tbh
But he always trip sits his friends! Ā 
Will go to parties if dragged along but the most heā€™ll drink is like a twisted tea or white claw and just kinda watch his friends get hammered like šŸ«£
The type of guy at the party whoā€™ll get dragged into some drunk crying girlā€™s story about her bf and heā€™s just sitting there with his one drink, sober asf like, ā€œomfg bestie! you need to dump him, like iā€™ll help you draft that text rnā€
Smells like Johnson and Johnsons baby soap and like heā€™s so embarrassed about it but his skin is so sensitive he has to use the goo goo gaga stuff
Other than that he kinda smells like fresh laundry? Ā Uses too much detergent and dryer sheets so his clothes smell like extra good and he doesnā€™t wear cologne so yeah, hope you like Tide bitchesāœŒšŸ¼
Very loyal to the vanilla bean burts bees chapstick
Has a blue hydro flask that he always has with him, also constantly reminding his friends to drink more water
Totally has scared Eren by telling him about kidney stones and how the dumbass might have to just pee out rocks if he doesnā€™t drink sum fucking water.
Eren now takes hydrating v seriously :)
Most of his friends will go to him more than their actual advisor bc Armin is just much more helpful tbh and he loves telling them which classes or internships they should take. Ā 
Actually prefers articles and podcasts over books bc of practicality and he already has to read so fucking much for school
But is lowkey one of the annoying ppl where like any conversation youā€™ll have will end with him like, ā€œOh earlier I was listening to this one podcast and-ā€
Has painted his nails a few times but I think heā€™s a nail biter so he kinda stopped after unintentionally eating so much nail polish
Secret passion for skin care, may or may not be a skincarebyhyram stan
Tried countless times to get Eren to at least wear spf everyday but yea, that bitch donā€™t listen
Mikasa does tho and they actually go to sephora together once every month for lil skincare hauls (baddie w her baddie friend)
Calls his grandpa everyday, even if itā€™s just for a few minutes bc he knows his grandpa is all alone now that he left for school and armin just wants him to know that heā€™s doing fine and making him proud
As your Bf
You guys probably met thru a friend of a friend, most likely you befriended Mikasa or Eren and they started bringing you over and eventually Armin would meet you
Bc in no way would Armin actively search for something romantic when his main focus rn is getting his degree but like damn you were just-
Wow
Anyway, as your bf expect literally so many forehead kisses
Kinda clingy bc he is indeed a scorpio, once itā€™s official between you two every night heā€™s like ā€œso we sleeping at my place or yours?ā€
Bc why would you guys just sleep apart from each other? Ā 
Armin fr forgot how toĀ 
Fav cuddle position is you on your back and him with his head on your chest and arms around your waist
Bonus if you play with his hair and whisper sweet nothings by his temple
Iā€™m on team soft dom armin, boy is a ppl pleaser for sure but still a dom
Heā€™s pretty vanilla and heavy on praise, but if you want him to go hard and degrade you or manhandle you, he would as long as you guys set up a safeword first
His post nut clarity would hit hard tho and he would be so afraid you saw him as some sort of sexist pig afterwards
ā€œWOMEN ARE BEAUTIFUL AND STRONG, IN NO WAY DO I CODONE-ā€
ā€œBabe chill all you did was spank me.ā€
If you have a vagina, he is like super educated on the anatomyšŸ¤“
Fr makes you pee after sex
Washes his hands before fingering you and youā€™re just sitting there trying to stay in the mood like ā€œšŸ˜€ā€
Tbh the only things I think would be off the table for Armin is anything unhygienic or like anything involving other ppl bc boy is too insecure and possessive for anyone else to be seeing you like that
Sex on the beach isnā€™t happening either.
If you try to convince him he would just be like,ā€Sand will end up everywhere (y/n)! Ā Honestly, itā€™s like you WANT a yeast infection!ā€
Having a pre law bf is literally having your own attorney at your beck and call
If you have a problem with a teacher for example, Armin would fr hop on a call with the college and be like ā€œsweetie, who was the head of your department again?ā€
Next thing you know the poor teacher is fired lol
Can and will fight all your battles
The perfect study buddy, like he'll make flashcards for you without you even asking or telling him what the next test was about?
You never have to edit or revise your essays again, Armin is just proud that you wrote it all out, heā€™ll take care of it from there so all you have to do later is submit
Armin made one day of the week your guysā€™ date night and literally someone would have to die in order for him to reschudle bc the boy takes it sooo seriously
Literally Eren can call from the hospital and Armin will just be like ā€œyou know what day it is? Ā Right, itā€™sĀ Thursday. Ā Which is date night for me and Y/n. Ā So unless that broken arm turns into organ failure, donā€™t call me!ā€ Ā 
Date nights are museums, cafes, planetariums, sometimes you guys will even take a class together
But honestly, the best dates are the ones you guys have at home bc he likes just having you all to himself
Boy is jealous, but more so possessive
Like, it takes a very certain action to piss him off enough to act outwardly bitchy
Boys can make you laugh, they can compliment you, they can try to impress you
But if a boy were to try to protect and care for you?
Armin will snap
Thats literally his job and he sees it as a threat
Will go out of his way to make the dude look really incompentent.
Your study partner brought you a snack bc they know you missed breakfast?
ā€œY/n doesnā€™t like that brand, it hurts their tummy. Ā Maybe you should ask before just shoving whatever in their facešŸ˜’ā€ Ā 
Its cold out and some guy offers you their jacket? Ā 
ā€œWoah there, prince charming, I don't think your 10 dollar Old Navy hoodie is gonna cut it. Darling, why donā€™t we head inside and get you a hot drink? šŸ˜‡ā€ Ā 
A guy friend stops by with some medicine bc he heard you were at home sick? Ā 
Arminā€™s there at the door like, ā€œMy babyā€™s immune system is really weak right now, the last thing they need is strangers just coming over and making them sicker. Ā How thoughtless are you?šŸ¤¬ā€
Fights donā€™t really happen bc Armin is so good at de escalating situations, heā€™s also just such a simp for you that youā€™ll always gets your way
The only fights he wonā€™t back down from are the ones where he feels like your safety is at risk
Over his dead fucking body would you do anything even remotely dangerous
This is where I see manipulative Armin. Ā Heā€™d use his skills to convince you that you didnā€™t even care about what you were arguing for in the first place
At first he might feel a little guilty but after realizing youā€™re objectively safer from his manipulation, he doesnā€™t feel as bad
Kinda yandere tbh, but really soft and not dangerous
Your location should always be on thoā˜ŗļø
Fav Nicknames for you: darling, baby, princess/prince
Songs that fit the vibe: Turning Page by Sleeping At Last, Bad Habit by Steve Lacy and As The World Caves In by Mat MalteseĀ 
ā€œYes, itā€™s you I welcome death with, as the world caves in.ā€
ā€œNothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart.ā€ Ā 
ā€œThought you were too good for me my dear, never gave me time of day my dear.ā€Ā 
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ca-suffit Ā· 9 months ago
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Almost 50 years old with a job, spouse, and kid and sending each other asks like this to feel superior over an online space of mainly 20 somethings lol. Everyone in "that (black) subset" already knows who these characters are and can confront the topics v easily. All this Nalyra group can do is post things like OHH NOBODY IS READY FOR THIS OHH WE'RE SO MUCH BETTER AND SMARTER THAN THESE (BLACK) PEOPLE. It also may surprise u to learn that slavery existed in America and this fantasy Daddy Marius thing u think ppl can't tolerate is nothing compared to real history. You'll never understand that though because you'd have to acknowledge race and real life outside of Anne Rice books to do that. You'd feel so embarrassed by how u sound if u did tho. like this is rly braindead shit lol. I bet you get off to this though, sounding like a ten year old edgelord to own the woke mob. But you're just v typical racists, lol, while layering on some bs "did u know there's a worse white man than Lestat, did u ever use ur brains." Ok lol. Groundbreaking, more than one white man is shitty. How could we ever imagine such a world?! Marius existing won't make Lestat suddenly be less. Aren't you the ones always crowing that he's the main character? Oh but I forgot, you think it'll all be retconned once "the truth (Lestat's story)" comes out, because you have Anne Rice brain rot and think that's quality storytelling instead of embarrassing and insulting to the audience. You also talk like this as if you won't be screaming and throwing up about it when the show doesn't coddle Marius either and make this all sexy roleplaying. Armand was just referred to as Marius' "sub" in another recent post by crazy white fandom book people. You're the ones who won't be able to handle what's coming. Then you'll just keep moving the goal post, saying shit like this forever so you can keep yourself feeling superior. It's sad u don't go to therapy and talk about why this is the thing that makes you feel in control of your life.
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Virginia is a whole psych study 2 lol. Honey u have to separate urself from the fictional man and get real help. Having racist tantrums because black people can understand your man better than u is not it. He's not real, he's not you. It's funny how book ppl are always saying the books teach empathy when you're intolerant of anyone who disagrees with you (or is just black). tbf, that is one way u actually understand Lestat tho lol. These people have all the time in the world to excuse shitty behavior from white men due to trauma, mental illness, "their time period," but Louis, Claudia, and Armand are also victims and yet just victimized more in the fandom. We can't even discuss fr "memory is a monster" without you dipshits being racist about it. How many posts about Episode 5 have we gd had since the last trailer dropped, when that's something you had to go frame by frame to even catch, and also make a lot of assumptions some things are even from that scene. You can't appreciate any of the rest of the story, you're obsessively zeroed in on Lestat being freed from all guilt of DV. You're sick in the head with your love of whiteness.
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ourolite2 Ā· 1 year ago
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Youā€™re fucking embarrassing. Changing races of characters that have great representation in them and changing them to some random black race. Not everyone has to be fucking black and your blackwashing the shit out of them. If you want a black character, make your own oc. Youā€™re a racist piece of shit, blackwashing characters that donā€™t need to be. Chongyunā€™s fucking chinese and your making him rcta by making him Caribbean and bahamian? Embarrassing.
If you want black ppl so much, go fly off to africa and get yourself a black dick there.
broā€™s fr in our asks having an aneurysm about a character that is NOT REAL ā˜ ļø. crying over a nigga that has a big blue glowing swordā€¦ this is genshin bruhā€¦ do you understand the concept of r e p r e s e n t a t i o n? only a mf who breathes fan-fiction behaves this way.
btw you canā€™t be bahamian and caribbean. thatā€™s like saying youā€™re south american and argentinianā€¦ does that make a lick of sense, sweetheart?
secondly, this has nothing to do with africa. the bahamas is NOT located in africa, so pls get your geographical prowess aligned before addressing my friend. also, thereā€™s black dickā€¦ everywhere. NOT just in africa. pls be so fr for two seconds. there is also white dick in africa ā€¦ africa is quite literally racially diverse ā˜ ļø
youā€™re in our asks crying about this when thereā€™s black fanart of an asian characterā€¦ everywhere. youā€™re mad atā€¦ headcanonsā€¦ THIS is so embarrassing. needa address that ph balance before me cuhā€¦ leman making black hcā€™s (that arenā€™t canon btw) isnā€™t harming anyone but you. yet weā€™re racist? how? tell me? pls? pretty please šŸ„¹? let me know?
besides, would you rather want us to easily and proudly represent a race that weā€™re completely familiar with or not? ā€˜cause itā€™s very much HARD to write chinese culture without making a mistake, no matter how much research you do. we want to creatively write properly. no one can write a better black character than a black individual.
and with that, weā€™re officially turning off anonymous asks. iā€™m not very fond of pussiesā€¦ anyways, speaking of black ocs, Yā€™ALL WE GOT MORE OCS OTW ā€¼ļøā€¼ļøā€¼ļøā€¼ļø
anyway, moral of the story, šŸŽ¶heā€™s transracial, transracialšŸŽ¶:
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enfieldtennisacademy Ā· 6 months ago
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i have spent the last two weeks in my childhood bedroom where i was molested and i have grown so manic depressive that i seriously believe i could peel my skin off like a boiled apple. "honor leave ur room go do something" okaaaay i will and then i immediately face the bridge troll of this overblown doublewide trailer... the patron saint of hebephilia who wants to be my bestttt frieeendddd even though ive made it so fucking clear i want nothing to do with him. i am truthfully waiting for him to die. make it past that hurtle and then get in my car with my suspended license and then drive around aimlessly because i do not know one person in this town. sometimes i get a canned water or melatonin from the store. and then i return home and get high or drink
got insanely fucked up a few days ago to escape the fucking evil that plagues this house and my walls but the whole time my mind just tallied up every single horrible thing that's happened in my life. i was so scared shaking and shit but my brain couldn't stop. it was like a powerpoint presentation and each slide was increasingly more intense and i cant even remember it now as i sit here to ""blog"" about it. i think sometimes i daywalk as someone who is very normal but then i consider how upside down my entire life has been since i was a little blonde child. like how do i just push this aside and do normal things like spin classes and road trips and a 9 to 5 when the basis of my bones are made out of horrible freak show occurances that not even my brain can remember? how am i supposed to make dinner for my husband and kids one day when this is how my brain and body functions? ill be standing at the stove pondering every single time i was torn to shreds and then have to face some cute fat kids and try and separate their world from that one. like i dont even know if theres a book to help with that......
like im not shy about how fucking tortured i am. my friends know exactly who i am and what has made me into the strange erratic doll they know and love to kick. i dont know how many times i'm going to cry to the point im hyperventilating and vomiting while people stare at me like a horse with a broken leg. eventually i will grow tired of being a strange facet ppl need to avoid eye contact with. or worse......... a spectacle to gossip about for 2.0 seconds over white gay male brunch. i wear my heart on my sleeve, which can be VERY embarrassing sometimes, but my life isnt a secret. everyone knows ive been preyed on and touched on and beat down. but i think ppl are so afraid of it being "AWKWARD" that they avoid me. they dont want me to start crying or for there to be a lull in the conversation because they dont know what to say in response to my batshit. so they have normal lives and they go to spin class and road trips and 9 to 5s while i get way way worse waiting for someone to rescue me. (rescue me: Be a friend). (Be a friend = chill w me. Be forgiving with my neuroticisms. Hang out and be normal to someone who doesn't get a whole lot of that. You know.)
anyway.......... i am an inchworm away from a total religion-fueled meltdown and turning to the church because i feel so hopeless and i feel like they will coddle me like a powdered little baby. i will at the very least take a text from a school buddy or a walk around the block w someone who hasn't tried to kill me or get me to do it myself. but until then i will continue sprinting on the treadmill and scrolling gaga daily and being haunted by my past until its seriously too much to bare. im gonna jump off the spring breakers bridge fr
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weirdo09 Ā· 1 year ago
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YES! I didnā€™t wanna make a big reblog chain but the guy who said Taylor Swift was like modern day MJ immediately started making atrocious takes right after (like the colonization thing) and like. He was obviously trying to go for the satire angle or to make ppl think he wasnā€™t serious about the MJ vid when if you scrolled down to before it, it was literally all tswfit stanning so the MJ vid was just par for the course but he didnā€™t expect to get so much backlash šŸ’€ itā€™s embarrassing and I feel like they think theyā€™re so smart whenever they do it too
that is really embarrassing. tbh taylor isnā€™t anyone special but ofc somebody gonna think iā€™m being biased n misogynistic when i say michael is better to me at least. fr like youā€™re not special for derailing a black manā€™s success all for your favorite white musician, people had already bashed michael because they thought he was lightening his skin n stuff.
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deadrlngers Ā· 2 years ago
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3, 4, 9, 17 for ves and nix ā€¼ļøā€¼ļøā€¼ļø
more clownery from the two clowns :)
ask game
3. By contrast, what was the moment that first made their ~heart~ Soft for the other person? Not necessarily a conscious realization of ā€œI love this person,ā€ but a moment that had them like ā€œOhā€¦I adore themā€¦ā€
I think that for both it's a build up of things, it's a gradual realization. It comes from the little moments when Fenix finally sees how there's someone who's reliable and strives to help him and cares for his wellbeing and Vesper suddenly realizes that she smiled more in the last week than in the last 2 years, when they're together in such a busy city like the one they live in and it suddenly feels like it's just the two of them in the whole world, in the smiles and laughs and longing stares, it's all an explosive mix until they just have to surrender to the realization..they make me white knuckle grip the sink fr.
4. Does this change over time? What will always reliably make them melt with how much they adore the other character?
It's the small little things for me!!!!!!!!!! Fenix getting a little :) seeing Vesper bicker with her brother like they are 15 y/o, or when it's just the two of them and she allows herself to be a little soft, to get a little cuddly,,and says he's Everything to her; Vesper melting like an ice cube under the sun when he gets all funny and cracks jokes and does his stupid little grin and she has to fight back her smile to not stroke his silly ego and then fails every single time. When Fenix goes ti amo and Vesper doesn't know how to answer back in a mix of shyness and embarrassment and it's been 10+ years girl get a grip!!! When Fenix begins rambling about whatever book or thing only him and other 5 ppl in the world are interested in and she says 'u look very handsome when u get all clever' and he's like šŸ‘‰šŸ‘ˆ who, me? genuinely so unwell about them let's move on
9. What do they think about commitment? Is a long-term partnership the goal? Are they thinking about building a life with their partner, or are they focused on the present?
Inch resting question fr. Vesper thinks of the present, living the current day type of feel, and while a 'forever and ever for the rest of our days' lives somewhere in her mind she doesn't actively think of it, mainly out of fear of the future. Fenix on the other hand is a lover. A hater on the surface then a hater deep down and i'm sure there's some more hater until we reach lover BUT it's there and it got unlocked the moment he got with Vesper. I think he genuinely hopes and dreams of spending every moment of his life with her, he's the type of fella that looks back at his life and goes it would have zero meaning if you weren't there with me, he's so sweet :// plus neither of them ever thought of stuff like marriage because they both considered it smth that was never going to be for them until Fenix was like (dead serious, heart about to explode in his chest) we should get married :') and Vesper was like haha you're hilarious :) wait what do u mean it's not a joke. They are building a life together yea <3
17. Under what circumstances would they want to be left alone by their partner?
Game events are the longest 'i want to be left alone by every single person in the world' event Vesper had so that tells you that, in the face of a crisis or rough times that personally involve her, she prefers to be left alone which isn't exactly the greatest choice let's be honest. She thinks that she can handle everything on her own, pushes Fenix away when he tries to offer his help, she simply needs to swim in her own pool of desperation sjfjsjk
Fenix wants to be on his own after a fight, just like Vesper tbh but while she could keep on fighting for hours he just walks away before saying stuff he could regret. He's veeery good at saying stuff he could regret later, especially when he's angry himself which doesn't happen that much, seems unlikely but it's very hard to make Fenix lose his temper but when it happens it's..not a pretty show
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uhzuku Ā· 2 years ago
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ur so real for putting that anon in their place
white ppl fr cannot stand to see black ppl (especially black women) thrive or enjoy anything, itā€™s fucking embarrassingšŸ’€šŸ’€šŸ’€
!! lmfao nah man i just rbed that dhhdfhhf but as someone whoā€™s part black and part native and has seen all the sides of fandom including the racism ( people smooth have slid into my inbox n called me hard slurs and shit and i was just like ?? bffr šŸ’€šŸ’€ ) so fuck yeah i rbed that shit bc like?? cmon man, it is an x reader. BLACK FOLKS CAN FUCKIN READ
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celestie0 Ā· 5 months ago
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ouuu my dear flowie. i am long overdue in responding to this reblog, but just know that i read it when you originally posted it and it made my entire day, my entire week, my entire month, dare i say my entire YEARRR...your reblogs give me enough serotonin to last a lifetime. singlehandedly add years to my lifespan
live picture of me reading your reblog reviews of my fics:
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I would let him give me a hundred thousand, even a billion headaches. Kickoff! Gojo deserves everything. Trust me. I would let no harm come to him.My man is a puppy in love with how heā€™s following reader around, tell me ellie, what do i need to do to manifest him? Heā€™s so adorable aaaaaaahhhh my heart is bursting.
PLEASE A PUPPY IN LOVE IS SO ACCURATE THATS P MUCH KICKOFF GOJO. and yess his ways of charming are so unconventional :''') he got that pretty boy privilege and has never had to charm a woman lolol
but please all he needed to enter a bush was a little sound, he has 0 survival skills.
OMG NAMING THE CAT MEGUMI PLS THAT WOULDVE BEEN CUTE AND ALSO SO CANON. but yea kickoff gojo has zero survival skills how he hasn't been kidnapped yet up until this point is a miracle
Why do acting like you found them fucking publicly šŸ’€šŸ˜­ (is it the effect of seeing two pretty people together? Must be) i understand him.
girl yes anytime i see a hot guy in public just staring at him feels like having public copulation xddd its sumn ab the hot people
Especially with how she feels Gojo wouldnā€™t really understand her situation because he has never faced it, itā€™s the disguised-kinda covered element of helplessness mixed with embarrassment for me when i want to convey the social anxiety but cannot because people expect otherwise of me.
aww bb i'm sorry ab that, yea it's kinda crazy how we have attributes we associate w ourselves but then because of that, we're not able to give ourselves grace to differ from those attributes. but i totally think ppl are multifaceted and we can surprise ourselves w straying from our norm. like ig reader has stage fright but she also slapped tf out of a man at a bar in ch9 LOL...but anywho yes i hear youuu
The best part about kickoff is the sheer realism and relatability that readers feel when reading it. You write about stuffs that university students deal with, and you arenā€™t just making us live our dream of dating a man as beautiful as gojo but also giving us a voice and lending us an ear. You are hearing us and making sure we feel validated. Especially when you talk about insecurities related to career, that is something not a lot of fics do, they make us perfect, but you perfect our flaws, you let us shine through them. Thatā€™s a huge thing to achieve I believe. Like nothing in kickoff feels superficial even with those glowing blue eyes and white hair of the freak. Sorryyy!!!!
AAAAAAA flowie thank u so much i could cry fr :''') i'm so glad the realism comes off. yes i think...hmm i think career is so difficult to navigate in college, esp along w romance. in my romantic experiences in college, i always felt like they went hand in hand w my career stress. like wondering if i'm spending too much time thinking ab boys lol, or being w guys that didn't really value my career goals or even care about them. i miss my college campus clubs and my fellow club board members sooo much, i had sm fun organizing events w them and i think writing this chapter really took me back to that time. like idk just doing fun stuff w someone, like reader n gojo in this chapter, those moments are so priceless to me than something that might be an actual date or sumn, if that makes sense. but i'm so glad the story makes you feel validated, ik you were also in debate clubs in school so i think it's so cool how despite all the different careers n niches n interest (like idk anything ab film clubs lmfaoo) we all can still kinda relate to that feeling of ambition paired w insecurity
I love it when people praise our abilities by honouring our actions, thatā€™s very meaningful and appreciative. Like he could have just told sheā€™s all that, but him adding instances added much value to his sentiments.
YAAASS PREACHH i love it when people mention specific actions when they state a positive character trait xD makes me feel seen. kickoff gojo def sees reader in ways she doesn't see herself. also awww yes his dad would be so proud of him :'')
ihm! Reader and kickoff! Reader will have a great time together as the two gojos play golf together while one tries to pitch the other in to buy a house as the other one argues that soccer is the better sport.
LOLOL wait that's so cute i need to see this happen bahahah. i feel like ihm reader & kickoff reader would like not have much in common while kickoff gojo and ihm gojo would have a younger bro older bro relationship where they're just bickering all the time pls. and then the girls can relate to how annoying their boyfriend/husband is
i think as students we have all cried over missed opportunities or the lack of them, itā€™s feels nice to have that representation over here, and he ensures everybody feels seen and doesnā€™t take away from readerā€™s shine as she doesnā€™t from her juniors, again very endearing.
yes yes yes :'') i've def cried before because i felt like all my hard work wasn't going to bigger places like i wanted it to be. but like in the words of emma from one day: "it's not about changing the world, it's about changing the little bit around you." i think gojo using his influence for good in this chapter was my favorite part to write, yknow he's not just a dumb frat dude that gloats about partying and winning games n stuff on his social media, but he knows that he can help make a difference w it too! i def think kickoff reader really fell in love w him a little bit in this chapter. and omggg bb sorry for the TEARS!!! but i hope it was comforting happy tears <3 i'm so glad you feel seen! that's all i want to accomplish w my writing
AHH THANKS SM FOR YOUR REVIEW FLOWIE BB THEY MEAN THE WORLD TO ME <33 i look forward to them soooo much, i get so giddy to see them!! much love from meee to youuu
gojo satoru x reader | college au [18+]
kickoff ch.10 a fresh start
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į°” pairing. college au - soccer player! gojo x film major! reader
į°” summary. gojo satoru is the most popular guy on your college campus. he's tall, funny, hot, not to mention he's the most talented soccer forward the school has seen in years. but he's also a frat dude, which puts him in a world very different from your own, as he spends most of his nights partying & drinking while you spend most of yours working on your annoying film major assignments. but when he reaches out to you for a favor, you realize that helping him out might have something in it for you too.
į°” warnings/tags. 18+, fem reader, fluff, angst, smut, college au, fraternities, sororities, partying, drinking/alcohol, romance, jealousy, pining, slow burn, opposites to lovers, friends to lovers, she falls first he falls harder, gojo being an idiot, marijuana use, sexism, sexual harassment (verbal only)
į°” chapter. 10/x (probably 18)
į°” words. 10.5k
a/n. hiii!! welcome to ch10!! if youā€™re confused about the word count, i decided to split up the original ch10 of kickoff (which was 31k words) into three installments (read more here) and sooo this is the first installment :0 i really hope you enjoy! i think this is a pretty chill chapter so no warnings or anything hahha. iā€™ll see you at the bottom :ā€)
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ā˜¾Ā·Ģ©Ķ™ź™³ moodboard no.1 :: ā™¬.*ļ¾Ÿplaylist
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ā€œLet me take you out on a date.ā€
ā€œNo.ā€
ā€œWhy not?ā€
ā€œIā€™m busy.ā€
ā€œYou look like you could use a break.ā€
ā€œYou look like you should go bother someone else.ā€
ā€œI donā€™t want to bother someone else, I want to bother you.ā€
You sigh, sitting back on your heels in the chair that youā€™ve been balancing yourself on for the past hour or so within the business building, room 202, not sure if itā€™s the paint fumes coming off the brush youā€™re holding in your hand thatā€™s giving you the headache or if itā€™s the incessant pestering of the man sitting beside you.
Itā€™s a Tuesday afternoon and youā€™re working on painting a poster for the Film Club photography showcase thatā€™s happening later tonight, and what you thought would be a peaceful moment to yourself turned into what it is now since you ran into Gojo in the hallway as he was making his way out of class, and of course he decided to follow you around like a duckling after that.
You glance to the right. Heā€™s still got his backpack on as he sits slumped in the chair beside you, with his presentation of washed out black jeans, a hoodie thatā€™s a shade of void darker with UTokyo Menā€™s D1 Soccer heat-pressed printing across in jock lettering and heā€™s got the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His hair looks thoroughly kempt for once, and not slick with sweat like it usually is on the field, or tousled from the amount of times he runs his hands through it when heā€™s concentrated or frustrated. But he might start now, given youā€™re not budging at all to his advances.
ā€œYou know how nice it would be?ā€ he says to you with his own version of a blissful sigh, resting his elbow on the conference table and setting his chin on top of his palm, and the way he leans into your space makes you subconsciously lean into him too. ā€œWe could go out for dinner, maybe by the beach, order dessert, you wear something niceā€“ā€
You raise an eyebrow at him.
ā€œN-Not that you donā€™t always wear nice thingsā€“ā€ His eyes briefly sweep down your form, in which youā€™re awkwardly sitting still with your paintbrush pinched between your fingers in mid air, and then he vaguely gestures to you, ā€œI just mean something nicer,ā€ this time, you feign an offended scoff, ā€œwait, no, that came out wrong, I meanā€“ā€
ā€œSatoru,ā€ you interrupt him, bending over the table to dip your bristles into some blue paint in the palette at the other end, ā€œI'm actually very busy right now, so I donā€™t really have the mental real estate to deal with your sales pitches on why I should let you take me out on a date.ā€
You can see in your peripheral vision that his eyes are on you, and you only flick your gaze to his face when you notice itā€™s the longest heā€™s been silent this entire time, and you find that heā€™s taking in the sight of you bent over this table. He snaps out of it when you sit back into your chair.
ā€œAnd you constantly staring at my ass doesnā€™t exactly charm me, either.ā€
He glances over his shoulder for a brief second, as if to confirm the emptiness of this room, then grabs your chair to roll you towards him in between the space heā€™s created by the obnoxious amount of spread to his legs, and you wobble a little due to your seated position on your heels. A gasp leaves your lips at how close his face is now, and his hands hold onto the armrests of your chair to make sure it stays that way. ā€œWhat do I have to do to charm you?ā€
You blink at him for a few, startled as you take in the serious expression on his face, and his eyes are so captivating you have trouble finding words. You know why heā€™s askingā€”because heā€™s teetering on an edge of desperation thatā€™s evident in the way he canā€™t seem to tear his gaze away from your lips, like heā€™s just one slip of self control away from refusing your denial of him and closing this distance between the two of you that you seem so intent on torturing him with.
ā€œIā€“ā€ you start, and you grab onto his forearm with the excuse of gaining balance, the texture of a vein pulsing felt underneath your palm, ā€œ...I donā€™t know, figure it out.ā€
Itā€™s a lame response, but you just canā€™t explain it. One week of him pining after you didnā€™t feel like enough, not after all the suffering he put you through after he rejected you, and maybe it was a little petty but you just liked seeing him chase after you because it felt like you finally had the power, the control, and thatā€™s exactly why you donā€™t have an answer for him. But also, in your defense, his attempts to charm you so far have beenā€¦ā€¦ā€¦ā€¦.rather unique and odd, and youā€™re starting to wonder if heā€™s ever had to ā€œcourtā€ a woman before. Actions that have you realizing pretty privilege might really be a thing since heā€™s gotten this far despite his strange decision making.
Like earlier this week when he showed up to your apartment with flowers, but of course it wasnā€™t one of those sweet bouquets youā€™re always eyeing from the check-out line at Trader Joeā€™s, noā€“this man had pilfered an arrangement of roses and marigolds and tulips and dandelions from the park downtown near the city library while he was on a morning run and then showed up at your apartment with them in his hand. It annoyed you, because it was six in the morning, so not only did the ring of the doorbell wake you up but you also became annoyed at the early-morning reminder about how youā€™re not someone like Gojo who wakes up at the crack of dawn to casually go on eight mile runs (your biggest fear is marrying someone that wakes up at 5am on a Sunday to go on hikes and he unfortunately seems the type). But when you fluffed up those flowers in a vase at the kitchen counter a few hours after you shooā€™d him away all in the name of getting a few more minutes of shuteye, you noticed the softness of the stems on the roses, and you realized he plucked each of the thorns off one by one before giving them to you.
He also showed up to your door yesterday, with twigs and leaves in his ruffled hair, a tear through his nylon shirt, and a small tuxedo kitten in the palm of his hand. When you asked him where he found the tiny thing, he said he heard something crying in the bushes while he was walking somewhere. And you figured thatā€™s all the sensory input he wouldā€™ve needed to walk through ivy and thorns to find it. Something about I donā€™t know, I thought youā€™d think itā€™s cute and youā€™d wanna keep it, and you took it from him, the tiny thing so adorable and just a little puff ball in your hands, and most definitely covered in fleas. And then you started crying, because you remembered you canā€™t keep animals in your apartment. And then he started panicking because he didnā€™t know why you were crying and he tried to comfort you and that only made it worse and you kicked him out of your apartment with the tiny fluff baby too so as not to get attached, and youā€™re sure he still has absolutely no clue what he did wrong.
Thatā€™s how you would describe his efforts, in all honesty. But a part of you knows that heā€™s trying. Youā€™re not entirely sure why thatā€™s his definition of trying, but you havenā€™t thought a lot about what dating him would look like. You were so caught up in how you felt about him, and whether he felt the same, but you never thought a step forward after that. But youā€™d be lying to yourself if you said you could handle staying away from him any longer.
By the way, Gojo kept the kitten. Heā€™s still working on a name but heā€™s thinking Grand Theft Auto just so he can say ainā€™t no way got GTA cat before GTA6.
ā€œAll you are is pain and suffering,ā€ he says. ā€œYou know that, right?ā€ He rolls your chair even closer, to where the momentum has you threatening to fall right into him, so your hand moves from his forearm to his shoulder, and you're starting to get suspicious heā€™s trapping you in his personal space.
ā€œYouā€™ll learn to manage it,ā€ you say to him, voice hushed, and you see it in his face that your words excite him.
Itā€™s hard to think straight when those eyes are on you, and after a solid minute of just staring at your lips, he moves his gaze up to level with yours to prove some level of restraint. But what he canā€™t keep himself from doing is placing a hand on your thigh, pressure soft as his fingers press into the fabric of your jeans, and the movement is slow when he slides his palm up to grip your hip but with more intent.
Your hand that was grasping onto his shirt starts inching towards his neck until it settles on the curve where it meets his shoulder, and your fingers lightly brush against the texture of the hair at his nape. His eyes are still on yours, even with the test of your tongue swiping across your bottom lip.
ā€œLet me kiss you,ā€ he says, and it would sound like a demand if he didnā€™t say it so breathlessly. His other hand also reaches out to grip onto your hips, urging you more towards him. Another shift forward and youā€™d be sitting in his lap.
ā€œOh, weā€™re asking for permission now?ā€ you chastise, thumb pressing into his neck. He sucks a breath in through his teeth, and now his gaze drops to your lips.
ā€œYeah, ā€˜cause last time you were pissed about it.ā€
You almost roll your eyes. ā€œWow, my audacity,ā€ you comment sarcastically.
ā€œJust give it to me,ā€ he says, face tilting, the perfect amount to kiss you if you just gave himā€“ ā€œthe permission.ā€
Your breathing picks up when he leans forward, your eyes hooded slightly on reflex, and youā€™re both staring at each other's lips like it was stupid youā€™re not kissing right now.
The slam of the door startles you, and being one inch away from him turns into a foot of distance as your head turns to face the entrance of the room. Gojoā€™s still gripping onto your hips, keeping your chair close to him, and youā€™re shifting your body weight on your heels as you try to pull off his hold of you until he finally relents and releases.
Thereā€™s a student standing at the door, posture slumped as he holds a binder to his chest, and you can tell heā€™s probably a first or second year with the way heā€™s wide-eyed and just staring. When he realizes youā€™re waiting for him to speak, he jumps a little. ā€œOh! Uh, is thisā€¦where the Film Club showcase is happening?ā€
You straighten your posture, in a way that means business, and struggle a little to untuck your legs from your seated position on your chair to then stand up onto your feet with a bristling sensation of nerves in them when you realize they had fallen asleep. ā€œYes! Yes, it is. B202, youā€™ve got the right place,ā€ you say and manage an awkward smile.
The studentā€™s gaze shifts to Gojo, who you see in your peripheral vision is leaning back in his chair, knee swinging side to side and arms crossed at his chest. You want to tell him to sit up straight and not look so nonchalant in the presence of a stranger, but there are some things about a person you canā€™t really change.
You see the moment in the studentā€™s eyes when he recognizes Gojo, and those wide eyes somehow become even wider. ā€œWoah,ā€ is all he says with a few blinks.
ā€œUm,ā€ you say, taking a step forward, ā€œIā€™m sorry, whatā€™s your name?ā€ You feel eyes on your back as Gojo watches the interaction.
ā€œHaru!ā€ he says, ā€œI think I messaged the clubā€™s Instagram page last weekā€¦not sure if youā€™re the person I talked to.ā€
ā€œOh, yes, I remember,ā€ you say and introduce yourself to him again. ā€œThank you for coming, but the event actually doesnā€™t start for a whileā€¦ā€
ā€œOh, my bad,ā€ he says, ā€œIā€™llā€¦ā€ his gaze flickers to behind you, ā€œ...come back soon then.ā€
You purse your lips together and politely nod before he exits the room and you let out the breath you were holding, face wincing a little from the awkward interaction.
You turn on your heel to head back to the table, and you see Gojo still slumped in his chair looking at you with curiosity.
ā€œOkay, seriously, please stop distracting me,ā€ you say as you take a seat on your chair again and pick up your paint brush, ā€œI need to finish this now, because I wonā€™t have time before the event tonight.ā€
ā€œWhy wonā€™t you have time before?ā€ he asks, tapping on his phone screen to check the time. ā€œItā€™s at six, right?ā€
ā€œYes, but I have to finish this poster, and then rehearse my presentation. And then I have to get the supplies from my professorā€™s room, and also need to go get the pizza and refreshments, andā€“ā€
ā€œAnd why are you doing all this by yourself?ā€ he asks, setting his elbow on the desk and leaning his cheek against the knuckles of his curled hand. He pulls the hood of his hoodie over his head.
You sigh. ā€œThe other board members were busy this week. With midterms and stuff. I mean, Iā€™m busy too, but this is a really important event.ā€ You sneak a glance at him, and his earnest attention is suddenly making you feel nervous. ā€œItā€™s the freshman & sophomore studentsā€™ chances to show off their works in a large capacity, and talk to some people about their photos, even book some shoots if thereā€™s a decent turnout.ā€ He nods at you thoughtfully. ā€œAnyways,ā€ you say, directing our attention back to your poster, ā€œI didnā€™t want to cancel it, so I just figured Iā€™d take on the job. But I wasnā€™t expecting any distractions.ā€ You regard him with an annoyed flick of your eyes in his direction.
He hums softly, and you use his silence to get lost in your thoughts for a moment. You still need to rehearse the presentation slides, and it could be the exhaustion youā€™ve faced in the past week that causes you to shake a little from the anticipation of speaking in front of people, but you realize that youā€™re nervous. Nervous to publicly speak. Nobara usually does these sorts of things as the president, youā€™ve always opted out to do more of the behind-the-scenes as vice, but thereā€™s this feeling youā€™ve got that makes you realize if this event doesnā€™t go smoothly, thereā€™s no one to blame but you.
You glance over at Gojo for a second, who has been watching you this whole time, and he raises an eyebrow in question. You blink, and shake your head slightly, as if to say oh, nothing and then your eyes slowly travel back to the brush in your hand.
ā€œAre you nervous?ā€ he asks you.
Your eyes widen slightly. ā€œHuh?ā€ you squeak out before looking at him.
He uses a jerk of his chin to point to your hand. ā€œYouā€™re shaking.ā€
You look down at your hand, and notice it is indeed trembling slightly, and you're about to hold your wrist with your other hand to keep yourself from shaking, but his hand beats you to it when it falls over your own. You look down at the sight, and then slightly tilt your palm upwards so you can loosely hold onto his. He squeezes it once and you look at him.
ā€œYouā€™ll be fine,ā€ he says.
It all feels a little silly. I mean, you can imagine the last thing in the world he could empathize with is stage fright. He plays in front of thousands of people in stands every week, of whom youā€™d say half of which are showing up for him exclusively, and even if the teamā€™s down during the half or stakes are insanely high, or if the chants are so loud most people could hardly even hear themselves think, he always pulls through in the end. Something as simple as presenting in front of a handful of students in a media room wouldnā€™t have his hand trembling the way yours is right now, because there probably isnā€™t a fearful bone in his body.
ā€œDo you ever get nervous?ā€ you ask him. It comes out faster than you could think, but curiosity is killing you.
His eyes study your face, brows dropping a little.
ā€œI mean, on the field,ā€ you clarify, ā€œwhen youā€™re playing.ā€
He relaxes a little bit. ā€œOh, no, not really. I mean, sorta, but itā€™s not really a feeling I can afford to give much thought to when Iā€™m out there, so I guess not?ā€
ā€œMmā€¦ā€ you hum, accepting his answer, and his fingers curl over your hand to hold it a little tighter. ā€œI see. I wonder what thatā€™s like.ā€
ā€œWhat what is like?ā€ he asks.
ā€œNot getting nervous.ā€
ā€œI get nervous sometimes. Just not really on the field.ā€
ā€œWhen do you get nervous?ā€ you ask him.
ā€œUsually when Iā€™m with you.ā€
Your eyes study his intently and your cheeks feel warm.
ā€œAre you just messing with me?ā€ you ask, with a half scoff, to prepare yourself to play it off as a joke.
ā€œNo, Iā€™m not,ā€ he states, ā€œI get nervous around you. Cause Iā€™m always scared Iā€™m gonna fuck shit up somehow.ā€
ā€œOh,ā€ you say, shoulders slumping a little, ā€œI thought it was a different kind of nervous.ā€ Like a love sick, canā€™t breathe around the person, heart about to give out kind of soul crushing adoration-filled nervousness.
He looks at you puzzled. ā€œWhat other kind of nervous is there?ā€ he asks.
You sigh. ā€œNevermind.ā€ You pull your hand out from under his, and he flexes his fingers a little, like heā€™s getting used to the absence of your hand underneath his, before he withdraws it back to his side.
Your hand is still shaking.
ā€œHey,ā€ he says, leaning in a bit closer to make sure you hear what he has to say, ā€œI saw you slap the shit out of a guy at a bar for disrespecting you and then telling that other fuckface to go take it up the ass. Which is probably the most badass thing I think Iā€™ve ever seen anyone do, so I know youā€™ve got no reason to be nervous right now.ā€
You take in a deep breath for confidence and nod.
ā€œOkay,ā€ you whisper.
He leaves you alone for the most part after that while you work on your slides, except for his occasional loud shouts when he messes up some mission in the combat game heā€™s playing on his phone. And you remember heā€™s someone whoā€™s supposed to be extremely busy, and probably has shit to do right now, but heā€™s essentially killing all day here with you.
ā€œWhat are you doing?ā€ he asks when he peers over at your laptop screen once you come back from a bathroom break.
ā€œOh.ā€ You stretch your fingers out and close them into fists over your keyboard before going back to one of your open tabs. ā€œI need to submit my grad school application.ā€
Gojo places his elbows on the table and leans his weight onto them, watching your laptop screen from beside you as you navigate UTokyoā€™s grad school application portal. You can already tell heā€™s dissociating.
ā€œItā€™s done?ā€ he asks as you click through the webpage.
ā€œYes. Itā€™s done. Officially. I just need toā€“,ā€ you take a deep breath in, ā€œI just need to pressā€¦submit.ā€
Your cursor hovers over the blue button, in the same way your finger is hovering over your mousepad, and youā€™re stuck frozen.
Gojo leans in closer to your space to where you can smell the soft fragrance of his detergent, ā€œthen press submit.ā€
ā€œIā€¦I will.ā€ You blink at the screen.
But youā€™re the queen of stalling, in all aspects of life.
He takes his elbow off the table and reaches his arm over to your laptop before pressing down firmly on the right-click cursor button, and you watch in a panic as the loading circle appear on the screen as he calmly retreats his arm, and then you see Congratulations on submitting your UTokyo Graduate School Early Admissions Application for the 2024-25 School Year!
ā€œWhatā€“ā€ you look at him with shock.
ā€œYou were taking too long,ā€ he says with a shrug.
You slump into your seat with a small pout and watch your phone light up with a confirmation email as well.
ā€œSo how should we celebrate when you get in?ā€ he asks.
ā€œWe? And when as in if.ā€
ā€œYes, we. And when. Now answer.ā€
You sigh. ā€œI dunnoā€¦ā€
ā€œIs there something that you really want?ā€ he asks, nudging your arm with his elbow before he lays his cheek down on his forearm on the table so he can see your face better. And he looks so cute and boyfriend-ish with the way his hair sprawls over the sleeve of his hoodie and his cheek is plush from where heā€™s resting it.
You lean all the way back in your chair. ā€œMmā€¦to end world hunger. Cure cancer. Bring peace and prosperity to all my friends and family.ā€
ā€œYes ok, very kind of you,ā€ he responds, voice scratchy like heā€™s tired but his leg is bouncing impatiently underneath the table, ā€œI meant something you can buy.ā€
ā€œLike happiness?ā€
ā€œJust be serious for a second.ā€
You laugh. ā€œHmmā€¦I mean, itā€™s not really a tangible thingā€¦but Iā€™ve always wanted to take a roadtrip to Mt. Fuji,ā€ you offer.
He lifts his head up off his arm with interest. ā€œOk, then, when you get in, Iā€™ll take you on a trip to Mt. Fuji. All expenses paid.ā€
ā€œYou sound like one of those travel advisors at the mall that scam families for debit card deposits,ā€ you snort, ā€œalso, why do I feel like itā€™d just be an excuse for you to annoy me in forced proximity over the span of five to seven days.ā€
He drops his head to rest it on his arm again with a small grumble leaving him. ā€œYouā€™re so cynical sometimes.ā€
Just a bit jaded since last week, is what you think to say. But youā€™re not in the mood to explain the existential dread within you since Kaiā€™s whole posse of ultra lame losers stirred the unnerving pot of career stress within you, but maybe you just need a bit of time to come down from it.
ā€œOk fine. If itā€™s all paid for, then I guess I shall accept the offer. Er, the prospect of the impending offer.
Thereā€™s a grin on his face, kinda drowsy and sick with some sort of glee, and he uncrosses one of his arms from the surface of the table to hold his hand out to you, pinky sticking up in the air.
ā€œAlright then, itā€™s a promise,ā€ he says.
You blink at him, eyeing his pinky, but he just wiggles it in the air like get on with it. You sigh, curling yours around his firmly, and your signature addition is the press of your thumb to his in security of sealing the deal, which you realize by the slight furrow to his brow that heā€™s never seen it before. You shrug.
ā€œPinky promises are never to be broken,ā€ he says, kinda cheekily like he knows it sounds silly, and for a second thereā€™s a glimpse of juvenile innocence on his face. His words sound like something a parent would echo to a child, like words from his own. Your pinkies are still coiled. ā€œYouā€™ve gotta say it too.ā€
ā€œP-Pinky promises are never to be broken,ā€ you repeat after him.
ā€œSweet.ā€ He pulls his hand from your and then he turns his face so his forehead is resting on his arm now instead of his cheek, breathing slowly as heā€™s silent for a minute.
ā€œAre youā€“...are you sleeping?ā€ you ask.
ā€œYes.ā€ He muffles into his crossed arms.
ā€œTired?ā€
He sighs heavily. ā€œVery.ā€
ā€œUmā€¦I need your help with some things, though.ā€
ā€œ...okay.ā€
ā€”
ā€œWho are we going to see again?ā€ Gojo asks, using a shake of his head to get some of his fringe out of his eyes hands-free as his fingers spread in his hold of the box underneath them, and itā€™s hard not to admire the way his hands look. Large shades of pale pink where they were slightly strained, like at his knuckles and joints, and those cool toned veins that valley from the grip that he has. Thereā€™s something way more attractive about his hands when he puts them to earnest use.
You two are walking down the hallway on the third floor of the building. ā€œOur faculty adviser for our club,ā€ you say, reaching into your pocket to make sure you still had your keys with you, ā€œoh, heā€™s also the professor I asked for my reference.ā€
ā€œOhhh, interesting,ā€ Gojo comments. ā€œYou said heā€™s a fan of soccer right?ā€
Youā€™re taken back to that first night you met Gojo at that frat party, and you mentioned your professor to him. Feels like forever ago. But at the same time, like yesterday.
ā€œYes, UTokyoā€™s team in particular,ā€ you comment, ā€œhonestly I think he might faint when he sees you.ā€
ā€œI wish you would faint when you see me,ā€ he sighs.
You roll your eyes and then finally arrive at your professorā€™s office. Itā€™s slightly ajar, as it usually is, and you take a small peek inside to see that heā€™s sitting at his desk, window open and illuminating the room with golden rays of the setting sun, and youā€™re made aware of the fact that night is coming soon.
ā€œHi, Professor,ā€ you say after knocking once, and the man jumps in his seat when you pull the door open to step inside. You always forget heā€™s easily startled, and make another mental note to not scare him anymore because if he gets a heart attack and dies from shock, you wouldnā€™t be able to afford the lawsuit.
ā€œHello, hello, y/n,ā€ he greets, sitting up in his chair by grabbing onto the arm rests for leverage, and you can feel the edge of the box push against your back as Gojo makes his way into the room too.
As predicted, your professor nearly faints and dies from shock when he clocks the sight of Gojo, and you briefly wonder if Gojo would be able to afford the lawsuit, and then your professor is running up to him and shaking his hand with a vigor that has the younger man wincing a little in discomfort, but by the short amount of time youā€™ve finished looking through the storage room for projector cables & supplies, then re-emerge to your professorā€™s office with filled up boxes in your hands, Gojoā€™s typing his number into your professorā€™s phone and apparently heā€™s going salsa dancing with him and his wife this weekend?
ā€œYou should come too,ā€ Gojo says, adjusting his grip on the boxes he took from you as you two meander down the hallway back to the media room.
You dust your hands off. ā€œTo what? Salsa dancing?ā€
ā€œYeah, apparently thereā€™s gonna be spiked brazilian lemonade,ā€ he coos, like heā€™s pitching a pyramid scheme to you.
You sigh. ā€œHow often do people just randomly invite you to things?ā€
He glances up at the ceiling like he really needs to think about it. ā€œI dunno. I just accept, donā€™t always go.ā€
ā€œSo youā€™re, like, a selective people pleaser,ā€ you note. ā€œSave face in the moment but then run away from the commitment.ā€
ā€œRelax. I was having a good evening.ā€
You two make it back to the media room with no more unsolicited psychoanalysis, and youā€™re scrambling around to get things in order for the event while Gojo tries his best to be helpful wherever he can, but he mostly just looks like a lost puppy.
ā€œOkay so I ordered four pizzas,ā€ you say, holding up four fingers in the air, ā€œand then you also need to get, like, maybe two family size bottles of Coke from the store?ā€ Now two fingers. ā€œA pack of napkins would be nice too since apparently we ran out.ā€ You look through the box you got from your professorā€™s storage room. ā€œAndā€¦I think thatā€™s it. Keep the receipts so I can reimburse you.ā€
Gojo nods at you after every command, eyes wide and brows furrowed in concentration like heā€™s really trying to picture the list of tasks in his head so he doesnā€™t forget any of them, and you feel a bit bad for ordering him around to do all of this for you but he was here anyway so you might as well put him to use.
ā€œAnd then can you also get some stuff from the trunk of myā€“er, Minaā€™s car. I parked it by the Literature building in Lot 16.ā€ You pull the car keys out from your tote bag and hand it to him. He stands there like a statue before his fingers curl around the cold metal keys. ā€œPlease be back here a half hour before six!!ā€
ā€œSo I guess Iā€™m a member of the club now?ā€ he muses, throwing the keys up into the air a few feet to then catch them.
ā€œMm, no, you need to fill out a form to be an official member,ā€ you say as you make your way to the podium and open the drawer to pull out one of the microphones.
ā€œSend me the form then,ā€ he says.
ā€œItā€™s on our Instagram.ā€ You tap the head of the microphone and are satisfied when you hear thumping across the roomā€™s speakers. ā€œLinkTree in bio!!ā€ you chirp in club advertisement reflex.
He pulls his phone out from his pocket and half leans back/half sits on one of the tables and taps away at his screen. Youā€™re standing at the podium computer scrolling through your logged-in Spotify account to figure out which ambient playlist to have playing for the event.
ā€œAlright,ā€™ he says before slipping his phone back into his pocket, ā€œI just filled out the form.ā€
Your phone chimes with an email notification right after he says it. ā€œYay! Congrats! Welcome to UTokyoā€™s Film Club!ā€ you exclaim, again, in practiced club advertisement reflex.
He smiles at you and crosses his arms. ā€œAre there any cool perks?ā€ he asks.
ā€œUhh, a chance to enter into a Kodak film roll raffle every semester?ā€ you say, knowing itā€™s useless because you two are graduating in less than two months so this was your last semester anyway and the raffle had already passed. Oh, also useless because Gojo isnā€™t a film photographer. Your phone chimes with another email notification. You glance at it. ā€œOh! Someone else RSVPā€™d for the event tonight. Yayyy.ā€
ā€œSorry, I think that was me,ā€ he says, ā€œI filled out the wrong form at first.ā€
ā€œOh,ā€ your shoulders drop in a sulk slightly, done before conscious thought can stop the motion, so now Gojoā€™s caught onto the fact that youā€™re upset about something.
ā€œWhatā€™s wrong?ā€ he asks, and he walks over to where youā€™re standing at the podium.
ā€œIā€™m just a littleā€¦bummed out about the turnout,ā€ you confess as you glance at the RSVP form for the event on your phone, ā€œeighteen people signed up, but that includes the eight students that are showcasing their photography. Oh, and now it also includes you. Soā€¦that means only nine real sign-ups, and I guess itā€™s a little less than what I thought it would be.ā€
ā€œAww,ā€ he coos, and he places his elbows up onto the wood of the podium, holding his face up to look at you. ā€œIā€™m sorry about that.ā€
ā€œItā€™s okay,ā€ you say, and you blush for some reason.
Heā€™s smiling at you now, boyish and lost in thought that probably has nothing to do with the conversation at hand.
ā€œWhat?ā€ you ask.
ā€œNothing,ā€ he shakes his head, ā€œI just think youā€™re really cool.ā€
ā€œOkayyy,ā€ you diffuse the compliment, ā€œare you going to stay for the event?ā€
ā€œWill you let me?ā€ he asks.
ā€œMaybe,ā€ you say, ā€œif you donā€™t do anything strange during it.ā€
ā€œAnd if I do?ā€ he asks.
ā€œSo you are going to do something strange?ā€
ā€œNope.ā€
ā€œWell, now you seem suspicious.ā€
He laughs. ā€œI was just joking.ā€
ā€œWhen you bring the pizzas back, just leave them outside the door. Iā€™ll take it from there,ā€ you say.
ā€œYouā€™re not even gonna let me inside?ā€ he scoffs.
ā€œNo.ā€
ā€œAnd if I come inside anyway?ā€
ā€œIā€™ll place a bucket of water at the top of the door,ā€ you say, ā€œso itā€™ll fall on you, except itā€™ll give you a concussion instead of a soak.ā€
He snorts. ā€œYeah? How are you even gonna reach the top of the door?ā€
ā€œIā€“...shut up.ā€
ā€œI can help you,ā€ he grins, leaning forward on the podium, ā€œreach the top of the door.ā€
ā€œYouā€™re going to help me terrorize you?ā€ You raise an eyebrow at him.
He shrugs. ā€œAnything if it means I get to touch your butt.ā€
ā€œWhaā€“!! Why would that entail you touching my butt?!ā€
He looks confused by your confusion. ā€œHmmā€¦maybeā€¦maybe we should act out what you think this scenario would entailā€¦and then we can act out what I think this scenario would entail, perhaps multiple times, and thenā€“ā€
ā€œJust go get the things I asked, please,ā€ you say with a sigh.
He laughs, itā€™s sweet but loud, and you blush when you realize heā€™s just messing with you for his own amusement.
ā€œStop teasing me,ā€ you pout at him.
ā€œI seriously canā€™t help it,ā€ he tells you, and he leans himself off the podium to stand up straight before shoving the car keys you gave him into his pocket, ā€œthe way you react is always so cute.ā€
You feel like you could melt.
ā€œAlright, Iā€™ll be back,ā€ he says, and you watch him as he heads out the door. And the room feels empty without him.
Luckily there are things you can distract yourself with in his absence. Well, technically he was the distraction, but sometimes it felt like everything else was the distraction keeping you from him.
Thereā€™s still about an hour left before the film club students come in to set up the exhibits, and you set up everything else you need to set up around the room, like moving the tables around so that the walk flow is like that of a museumā€™s, you set the club posters you painted up on the wall, pull a plastic table cover over what will be the food and refreshments section when Gojo eventually brings them. And you spend the last ten minutes rehearsing your slides.
It occurs to you that this is the last time youā€™ll be doing any of this, possibly for the rest of your life. Film Club still has a few events left for the year, but theyā€™re mostly just tabling events and then the end-of-year banquet at the Cheesecake Factory. And so as you click through slides at the podium, your eyes drift from the screen off into the still empty room. And that feeling of something coming to an end washes over you. But youā€™re not really sure how to feel about it just yet.
Your thoughts drown out the gradually growing bustling noise outside in the hall, and you only become aware of it about a couple minutes later, when the noises increase into loud shouts and cheers. Was there some event next door that you didnā€™t know about at the same time as the Film Club event? You didnā€™t know of any, but right before you can check the universityā€™s social media, the door burst opens and Gojoā€™s standing there with a stack of four pizzas balancing on one palm, with the pinky hooking a plastic bag seemingly carrying a couple bottles of soda, and in his right hand isā€”ā€¦beer?
ā€œHey,ā€ Gojo says, a gleeful look on his face. The noises outside are heard clearly with the door heā€™s keeping open with his foot, and then they disappear back into muffles once again when he closes the door. ā€œWhere do you want this stuff?ā€
You storm up to him. ā€œW-Why did you buy beer?ā€ you ask him.
ā€œHuh?ā€ he glances down at the couple of cases of beer in his left hand. ā€œI mean, pizza and beer, you canā€™t go wrong with that.ā€
ā€œWhat??ā€
He blinks at you. ā€œI-Is it BYOB or something??ā€
ā€œSatoru. This isnā€™t a frat party!! This is a Film Club event!!ā€
ā€œThereā€™s no alcohol at your events?ā€ he asks, setting the pizzas down on the food and refreshments table you had set up earlier. ā€œI assumed you had just forgotten to ask me to get some from the store when you were listing off tasks earlier.ā€
You pinch the bridge of your nose. ā€œNo. There is no alcohol at our events,ā€ you sigh. But heā€™s ripping the tops of the cases anyway. ā€œDo you know why itā€™s so loud outside?ā€ You move towards the door and try to peer through the frosty glass.
ā€œTheyā€™re here for the event,ā€ he says. You swirl on your heel to face him, but all you see is the expanse of his back as he rips a pack of napkins open.
ā€œT-This event?ā€ you squeak out.
He looks over his shoulder at you. ā€œYeah. You said something about the turnout being small, so I posted it to my Instagram story.ā€
Your mouth drops open.
He stiffens. ā€œI mean, thatā€™s what one of theā€¦ā€ his voice slowly trails off, ā€œā€¦roles & responsibilities wasā€¦for the Film Club membership formā€¦to be a memberā€¦ā€
You continue to stare at him.
ā€œā€¦help publicize for club events,ā€ he clarifies.
You quickly turn to face the door again and push it open with force, almost hitting someone straight in the face, and after you apologize for your carelessness, you take in the huge line of people flush against the wall, all chatting with friends in small groups that trail all the way back to the entrance of the building. Most of them are people youā€™ve recognized at SAE parties and social media posts, and you quickly close the door because now your heart is beating so fast in your chest from the nerves that you can hardly handle it.
You turn to face Gojo again and walk up to him while heā€™s still busy fixing up the table with more finesse than you'd have expected from him. ā€œSatoru!! I donā€™t have enough pizza to feed all these people!! There isnā€™t even enough space in this room for all of them!!ā€ Youā€™re panicking a little.
He tilts his head at you. ā€œJustā€”ā€¦have them walk inside in a single file and round out of the room in a circle.ā€ He gesticulates the plan with his finger in the air. ā€œEasy.ā€
Right. Like the professional-grade sports conference signings heā€™s been a part of. ā€œIā€™m just one person. I have no idea how Iā€™m gonna deal with a group that large.ā€
ā€œRelax,ā€ he assures you, and he takes a step towards you to hold both your hands in his, ā€œitā€™s going to be fine! Youā€™ve done these events before, itā€™s no different than those times. Plus youā€™re not just one person! Iā€™ll be here with you, too.ā€
His overwhelming positivity and ease and nonchalance is starting to contrast way too heavily with your anxiety and uncertainty and cynicism, and it has you pulling your hands from his because your palms are starting to get sweaty.
The door creaks open slightly ajar, and you both turn to face it. Haru, the film student from earlier, takes a step into the room.
ā€œHi!! This isā€”ā€¦this is where the event is supposed to be, right?ā€ he asks sheepishly with skepticism, likely because he canā€™t believe the line outside.
ā€œYes!ā€ you confirm, and you glance at the projector screen for the time, ā€œtake a seat, Iā€™ll be going over logistics soon.ā€
Following him suit are a few other film students that trickle in and take seats at the tables, and you do a mental roll call and notice that only a couple are missing. But youā€™ve only got five minutes until the hour starts for the event, so you shut the door airtight for a peaceful ambience and rush to the front of the room at the podium.
ā€œHi,ā€ you say into the mic, ā€œthanks so much to you all for coming here!! In a few minutes, Iā€™ll be opening the door for people to come by and check out your photo exhibits. I ask that if you do get commissions booked for your work, you write it down on the sheets provided so we can assess the helpfulness of these events in helping students secure freelance work!ā€ Youā€™re practically reading off a script as a coping mechanism, because your hand is shaking in anticipation. You look down at it underneath the hood of the podium, and in a second, itā€™s being covered by a familiar hand.
Gojoā€™s standing next to you at the podium now, holding your hand but discreet from view, and it gives you enough ease to finish your presentation smoothly, mostly because it goes by in a blur with the distraction of his comforting hand squeezes, and you can finally release the deep breath you were holding in.
ā€œAwesome,ā€ Gojo says right when you dismiss the students to start setting up their photo exhibits at their tables, ā€œyou finished the presentation. It wasnā€™t so bad, was it?ā€
ā€œYou almost sound patronizing,ā€ you sigh, but you turn your palm up so he can hold your hand anyway.
By the time you open the door for the event, your anxiety has settled, and all you feel is awe as you watch people make their way into the room. Albeit most of them just go straight for the beer and pizza at first (which youā€™re pretty sure is illegal to serve on campus, but whatever), and you had to make the last minute decision to change your spotify playlist on the speakers from Studio Ghibli classics to early 2000s club music just to keep them engaged, but as the event proceeds, they all start to travel down the exhibit tables and glance at students photos sprawled across tables and swiping through slideshows on their laptops, and thereā€™s genuine conversation and interest.
Turns out frats & sororities were the target audience for professional photography all along? Considering how anal they are about their social media aesthetics and what-not. Something youā€™d never even really considered until today, and somehow your world has become a little bit bigger than what it was before.
As you walk around the room just to eavesdrop on some conversations and make sure things are going okay, you steal glances at the freelance commision sign up papers that the film students are keeping track of, and you see occasions written down like birthday photoshoot and grad photos and auntā€™s baby shower scribbled under the event columns and you start to feel emotional. The little freshmen & sophomore film students look so ecstatic with the amount of work theyā€™re booking in one evening, and for once you feel like a proud mom.
This is singlehandedly the biggest turnout youā€™ve ever seen for any event youā€™ve ever hosted, and for someone that has a hard time asking for help most of the times, you finally see what youā€™ve been missing out on when you do let someone see you for who you are and they just know whatā€™s important to you.
When you think of it, heā€™s always known whatā€™s important to you. And heā€™s always cared.
Youā€™re blinking fast to fight the sheen of tears when you look at Gojo from across the room, whoā€™s chatting it up with some people he knows and then ushering them into the showcase line, because you realize heā€™s made you feel really proud of yourself today, which is something youā€™ve really struggled with in the past week.
Itā€™s been four years since you joined this club, with hours of hard work invested into events that werenā€™t going to get the front page of the newsletter like the Friday soccer games would, or get circulated around on social media like the sorority formals would, but that doesnā€™t mean that they arenā€™t any less important. And itā€™s ironic that someone like Gojo who fits into that world of prestige and popularity and success is the one to show you that.
ā€œHey.ā€ You jump when you hear Gojoā€™s voice near you and realize you had been too lost in thought to notice that he was approaching you. Heā€™s pointing over his shoulder towards the door. ā€œSome guy came by and said weā€™ve only got five minutes left for the room?ā€
You turn away from him slightly, and the sniffle of your nose is quiet enough in the loud echoes of the room. ā€œOh, yes, um, we only had it booked for an hour. I didnā€™t think weā€™d need more than that.ā€
ā€œOh okay,ā€ he says, ā€œIā€™ll tell everyone to get lost then.ā€
ā€œBut not before telling them to follow us on Instagram!!ā€ you chirp at him in practiced club advertisement reflex, ā€œthe QR code is posted on the door.ā€
He nods slowly. ā€œSure thing, boss.ā€ He turns to head back to the line of people still leading out of the door, but his eyes linger on your face and he turns back to you. The step he takes towards you makes you nervous, because you donā€™t want him to see you were on the verge of tears. Youā€™re good at hiding these sorts of things.
ā€œAre you okay?ā€ he asks, tilting his head down to look at you straight in the face because itā€™s obvious youā€™re not making eye contact.
You take in a deep breath and finally level your gaze with his when youā€™re certain your eyes are dry. ā€œYes, fine. Thank you.ā€ And you smile at him. And he takes your word for it.
__
Itā€™s pitch black outside as you walk with Gojo across campus towards the parking lot. Heā€™s carrying all the supplies you have to take home in boxes piled high in his arms, while you just pull an empty mini wagon along because thereā€™s way too many stairs as obstacles for any mode of transport by wheel.
There are a few moments where your shoulder accidentally brushes against his arm, and itā€™s mostly because you canā€™t walk in a straight line for the life of you, but you like it because it just feels nice to be in his space somehow. Like those little moments when your knee bumps someone elseā€™s under the table, or your hands touch when handing something to someone, always noticed but never addressed because it just felt natural.
On the way to the faculty parking lot, where the blacktop is barely lit by the baseball stadium lights off in the distance, the exhaustion of the day catches up to you. Gojoā€™s hand reaches inside his pocket and he pulls out Minaā€™s car keys before pressing down on a button to open the trunk.
ā€œGosh, I forgot you had those keys,ā€ you sigh as you fold the wagon and slide it into the back. ā€œI wouldā€™ve freaked out if I noticed I didnā€™t have them.ā€
ā€œYeahhh I considered pretending that I lost them just to fuck with you, but I got lazy,ā€ he says with a shrug and a yawn then sets down the boxes in the trunk with a slight grunt that leaves him, then heā€™s dusting his hands off.
You do a quick look-through of the supplies to make sure you didnā€™t forget anything in the room, and then pull your phone out to text Nobara that everything went well today. Well, great. Fantastic. Honestly, sheā€™ll be shocked by the turnout when she sees the Instagram photos youā€™ll be posting to the clubā€™s socials.
Gojo pulls down on the top of the trunk and shuts it closed, then he turns to face you. ā€œAlright, soā€¦ā€
ā€œSoā€¦ā€ you repeat after him, and youā€™re not sure why the air feels a little awkward, but you twiddle with your fingers because you donā€™t have the desire to step into the car and head home just yet.
Gojo nods slowly, looking around himself at the ground. ā€œI guess thatā€™s everything.ā€
ā€œMhm.ā€
He scratches the back of his head, and you realize heā€™s not making any moves to walk away either.
ā€œUm,ā€ you say, ā€œSatoruā€“ā€
ā€œYeah?ā€ he responds, fast, the second you say his name.
You take a step closer to him, and lean your hip against the car. ā€œThank you,ā€ you say, holding onto your elbow and rubbing soothing circles over your own arm, ā€œfor what you did tonight.ā€
He tilts his head at you in confusion, but then his face relaxes. ā€œOh, no worries,ā€ he says with a smile, and his voice sounds a little tired from the day too, ā€œIā€™m pretty sure you wouldā€™ve killed yourself if you tried to carry those boxes down the stairs.ā€
ā€œWhat?...no, no, not for the boxes,ā€ you say with a shake of your head, and then you remember you need to be offended by what he just said, ā€œwhat the hell, thatā€™s not true. I have more than sufficient upper body strength.ā€
He tucks his bottom lip under his teeth, like to stifle a laugh. ā€œUh-huh.ā€
You sigh and briefly pinch the bridge of your nose in annoyance and then shake the feeling off with a shake of your head. ā€œI meantā€¦for what you did by publicizing the event.ā€ And for being there for you, when you were feeling alone and nervous about the whole thing, like he could tell you just really needed someone to be with you. But you bite your tongue before you can say that part too.
His brow furrows for a moment, and you realize heā€™s confused about the appreciation.
ā€œItā€™s just, I know what it was like when I was a freshman and sophomore, feeling like my work wasnā€™t really reaching anyone,ā€ you say to him, the vulnerability on your sleeve as you speak, ā€œso it was a really nice thing for you to do for those underclassmen today. I saw the looks on their faces, and they looked really happy. Andā€“...Iā€™m sure it made their day.ā€ You glance off to the side for a moment because you feel a little shy, and then you look back at him. ā€œIt made mine too.ā€
He takes a step towards you, and heā€™s close now, to where the tips of his shoes almost touch yours. His eyes are calm, darker with minimal light to reflect off of but there are still stars in them as always. ā€œIā€™m glad I could help. Uh, well, Iā€™m a member of the club now, so, if you need any other help, then. You know where to find me.ā€
You laugh. ā€œI doubt thereā€™s much I could give you to do at this point in the year, but alright. If anything comes up, Iā€™ll assign it to you.ā€
You both look up at each other with small smiles. Your thumbs still swiped over the skin of your arm, and he shoves his hands in his pockets to look at his feet, rocking back and forth on his heels slightly. You click your tongue and look up at the sky, and he tilts his head to the side a few times to stretch it out. Were you two just so brain-fried by the day that you canā€™t even think of a single thing to say to one another? But if that was the case, then why not just call it a day and go home?
Thereā€™s a person on a bicycle that passes by, jingling his bell in the process and that breaks the two of you out of this weird trance, and then heā€™s clearing his throat and youā€™re shifting on your feet.
ā€œOh, by the wayā€”ā€ ā€œUm, I just wanted toā€”ā€ you both say at the same time.
You blink at each other.
ā€œSorry,ā€ he laughs, ā€œgo ahead.ā€
ā€œNo, no, you go ahead,ā€ you say.
ā€œItā€™s fine,ā€ he gestures to you. ā€œYou first.ā€
ā€œAre you sure?ā€ you ask.
ā€œYeah.ā€
ā€œReally?ā€
ā€œWellā€”,ā€ he starts, ā€œIā€™ll say what I want to say after you say what you want to sayā€¦soā€¦no worries. Go ahead.ā€
ā€œRight,ā€ you nod in agreement, and scratch your arm a little. ā€œI just wanted to say Iā€™m stillā€¦sorry about what I said to you last week outside that bar,ā€ you confess, ā€œaboutā€¦having it easy in life.ā€ You squeeze your upper arm in anxious tendency. ā€œImeanIknowIalreadyapologizedforit,ā€ you say, fast, with surprisingly no tongue twist, ā€œbutā€¦still. I donā€™t want you to feel like you canā€™t open up to me about stuff because of what I said and because ofā€¦I guess, theā€¦mean impression I claimed to have of you. I just donā€™t think I was in a great headspace, andā€¦well.ā€ You look up at him and his expression is soft. ā€œIā€™ve really appreciated being able to talk to you about lots of things. Um. So, yeah, I just wanted to say again that Iā€™m really sorry about it.ā€ You take in and release a deep breath once youā€™re done with your ramble.
Heā€™s quiet for a moment as he lets your words sink in, and he briefly glances down at his shoes, shoulders raising slightly to roll them back and then he relaxes them when he looks at you again.
ā€œItā€™s okay,ā€ he says, and he leans against the car now too. ā€œI know you said that I was contributing to making you feel that way, so I owe you an apology for that too.ā€
You blink up at him.
ā€œPlus, you were dealing with a bunch of pricks,ā€ he says, ā€œand stressed about your future.ā€
ā€œMm,ā€ you acknowledge.
ā€œWeā€™re seniors,ā€ he randomly mentions, ā€œI think weā€™re all justā€¦trying to figure ourselves out? So, I get it. And I donā€™t want you to feel bad about it.ā€
You feel a tickle in your throat, and the distracting pain of your nails digging into the palms of your hands is enough to direct your brain away from getting emotional right now. ā€œThatā€™s true. Figuring ourselves out. Mm.ā€
He gives you a small smile, and then he sighs when he remembers something. ā€œYeah, a friend of mine just broke up with his girlfriend of six years because he didnā€™t get into law school, so, stress is a crazy thing.ā€
ā€œOh no, Iā€™m so sorry for himā€“and, them.ā€
ā€œYeahhh he bought a ring and everything,ā€ Gojo says, rubbing the back of his neck and wincing a little in empathetic discomfort.
ā€œOh my gosh.ā€
ā€œWell, anyway,ā€ he laughs a little, in some sort of fear that heā€™s just made things awkward, ā€œyou donā€™t have to worry about what you said. Iā€“ā€ he pauses, ā€œIā€™m hard to get rid of when I want to be around. Ask Suguru, heā€™s tried to get rid of me on multiple occasions.ā€
You laugh, and he doesnā€™t follow up with any more jokes or explanations, like he just wants to hear your laugh in its purity. And you nod, taking in his words for a bit, letting them rerun in your head, because they leave a warmth in you.
ā€œHave you given any thought to what you want to do after graduation?ā€ you ask, and youā€™re humbled by the fact that you never even thought to ask him that before. Hell, you even asked the stranger you sat next to in stats today that question before you ever asked him.
ā€œYeah,ā€ he nods, ā€œI think Iā€™m gonna play for the national league.ā€
ā€œOh! Thatā€™s awesome,ā€ you chirp, ā€œI have no doubt youā€™ll get it. Iā€™ve seen those recruiters constantly coming up to you during games.ā€ You lightly poke his arm in flattery. ā€œAlthough you always look super annoyed when they do.ā€
He laughs. ā€œYeah, they have no concept of time or place.ā€
ā€œBut anyway,ā€ you say, ā€œthatā€™s really cool. I know your dreams are going to come true, and youā€™ll be great at it too.ā€
He nods, and you notice your words seem a little lost on him, like he's distracted by something else, but he covers it up with a well-meaning smile of pursed lips and then another silence settles between you two.
ā€œOh, what were you gonna,ā€ you start, pointing your finger at him, ā€œwhat were you gonna say?ā€
ā€œOh, right, phew, thanks,ā€ he exhales in relief at the reminder, ā€œwell, I guess itā€™s more of aā€¦question,ā€ heā€™s sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck, ā€œbut weā€“the fratā€“is hosting this barbeque thing on Thursday before our game on Fridayā€¦and, I was wondering if youā€™d want to come.ā€ His words hang in the air for a moment as heā€™s preemptively studying your expression for any clue of an answer, and you realize heā€™s nervous. When you keep your features neutral, he feels the need to keep speaking. ā€œI mean Iā€”...Iā€™d have to send you the invite, ā€˜cause itā€™s kind of an exclusive thingā€¦itā€™s also in the afternoon since itā€™s too late in season for us to be throwing parties the night before a game, but, uh, if youā€™re free,ā€ he pauses to take a breath, ā€œIā€™d really love it if you came.ā€
You just stare at him.
He holds his hands up in a slight panic, shoulders tense. ā€œNot aā€”ā€¦itā€™s not a date though. Donā€™t worry.ā€
ā€œAhhā€¦ā€ you nod, feigning relief but in all honesty you forgot about how many times youā€™ve turned down his pleas for a date this week and you think itā€™s sort of cute but also sad that he felt the need to clarify. ā€œYeah, um, Iā€™ll let you know.ā€
He smiles, itā€™s genuine and real and something youā€™ll never get tired of. ā€œAlright, cool.ā€
And here you two are standing again in silence, just looking at one another. If you were on the outside, looking in, youā€™d think that the two of you had just met. Like a fresh start.
Your breathing slows as you gaze up at him, because the way his brow furrows ever so slightly as he looks at you is so handsome and sweet and it makes you remember how when you first met him, you wondered if youā€™d ever feel relaxed in his presence from how gorgeous he is. Back then, you never wouldā€™ve imagined that you would make him nervous someday.
His gaze slowly travels down to your lips, and you feel your eyes soften to where everything else around you is a blur. You want to kiss him. Maybe as a thanks, or a reward, something sweet to show him how much today meant to you. You tilt your head, looking up with doe eyes and flutters of your eyelashes, in the most obvious way a girl could silently tell a guy she wants him to kiss her. Heā€™d have to be the most immensely dense person on the planet to notā€”
ā€œYou really should think about the salsa dancing,ā€ he says, breaking any and all energy between the two of you, ā€œI think itā€™d be fun.ā€
You blink at him for a solid ten seconds, and then sigh with a slight slump to your shoulders, because you realize heā€™s probably never had to guess if a girl wants him to kiss her or not. And heā€™s still as dense as the person he was when you first fell for him. But thereā€™s something endearing about it, too. Simple. Simple was what you needed. ā€œMhm.ā€
After another brief moment of silence, you tuck your hair behind your ears.
ā€œI should get going,ā€ you say, through an awkward half laugh, ā€œI have an essay due at 8AM tomorrow, so...I need to go home and procrastinate.ā€ That earns a short snort from him, and you lean yourself off of the car to head towards the driverā€™s side. Gojoā€™s on your tail and then suddenly a step ahead of you as he gets the door for you and you sit inside then fiddle with the rearview mirror just to give your hands something to do because you feel his eyes on you and itā€™s all-consuming as ever.
ā€œHey,ā€ he says, resting his elbow on top of the car door as he peers down at you, ā€œtext me when you get home.ā€
You look up at him while you push the keys into ignition. ā€œI will. Good night.ā€
ā€œNight,ā€ he says with a soft smile on his face, and he hesitates for a moment before he closes the door. Like something someone would do when they donā€™t want a moment to end.
.
.
.
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a/n. thanks so much for reading!! this was such a domestic little chapter to write haha i think itā€™s the most mellow of the three scenes i wrote for the original longer version of ch10 but sdkfhsdkf i still really enjoyed writing it.
anywhoooooooo the next chapter will be the frat bbq :0 iā€™m very excited for that one, i think itā€™s my favorite of the three installments aaa thereā€™s a scene i wrote for it that is one of the highlights in the series for me so far. not because itā€™s angsty or dramatic or anything, itā€™s just really silly and cute and horny and is kinda young love vibes and iā€™m living for that recently because gege has ripped my heart out already i cannot handle angst rn xD hope thatā€™s ok
again thanks so much for reading. i think some of you may know it was really hard for me to push through w writing bc of lots of reasons and stuff that was happening on my account, but all the lovely support n messages really motivated me to not give up on the chapter and i really appreciate that a lot!!
also i had fun dedicating the last chapter to someone, so i kinda wanted to do that again!! i have a lovely n sweet šŸ«¶šŸ¼ anon whose birthday was i think the week after i was supposed to initially post ch10, but unfortunately i didnā€™t get around to posting it in time even though i said it would be my early bday gift to them BAHAHAH so i wanted to dedicate this chapter to my darling šŸ«¶šŸ¼ anon <33 happy belated birthday my love!!
aaa iā€™ll hopefully see you in the next one!! :ā€™ā€™) love u all sm <3
- ellie šŸ’•
āžø you're all caught up!
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additional notes: please do not ask me for updates (read rules); also, i have decided to officially close the taglist! iā€™m so sorry, but itā€™s getting a little too much for me to keep track of :ā€™ā€™) and apparently i have to manually input the tags as well as make separate posts to include everyone because of the tag limit, and itā€™s too stressful for me lol. i will continue to tag the people who i have been tagging so far (if you were tagged in this chapter or in my separate extended taglist post, i will continue to tag you in future chapters), but if you were not able to make the taglist, i do post on ao3 at the same time as tumblr, and ao3 has a subscription feature where you can get emails for updates! i think that would be helpful for anyone wanting to keep up w the story. sorry!!
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taglist:
@megumisdivinedogs @witchbybirth @avatarl0v3r @mwtsxri @asherheed
@wynney @delulux3 @higurumapet @zombriesworld @xenop0p
@phoenix-eclipses @who-can-touch-my-boob @mo0nforme @reagan707 @lost-resonance
@foulprincesscycle @luniunia @alekssashka7 @beabadobeee @thexmistress
@tsukikourito @getitsatoru @gabriiiiiiii @kissofife @tiredflame132
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instantmanifestation Ā· 5 months ago
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i hate the word queer and how white people love to say it like grow tf up and say gay like fr gay used to be the perfect umbrella term like this whole ā€œtaking back of queerā€ only for corporations & straight white ppl to fall in love with using it is so cringe worthy & im so embarrassed for the young gay community like this literally sucks & you all know nothing except tiktok
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urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites Ā· 5 months ago
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lol I might have summited this alr but my WiFi is shit and the page refreshed for me so idk if it actually summited but if i did sry 4 bothering you šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
Can I do a request for an outsiders pare up thing O///o
My name is Alex Iā€™m 16 and a bi guy. Iā€™m an intp and often come off as cold or rude when Iā€™m just really awkward T^T I tend to like more outgoing and loud people because they balance me out but I do also like shy and sweet guys. Iā€™m pretty observant and usually pay attention to everything except what Iā€™m supposed to. Iā€™m not the best at socializing and prefer to keep animals as company more than humans. Iā€™m not the biggest fan of touch or pda but i always crave it T^T my love language is gift giving and i usually give the people i like pottery i make because itā€™s one of my favorite hobbies. It usually takes awhile for me to open up to ppl and some ppl have described me as intimidating which I donā€™t get how šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­, and despite being pretty risk avoidant i LOVE roller coasters and will go on one any chance i get
For appearance, Iā€™m mixed (white and Indian) with dark olive skin and wavy short brown middle parted hair. My eyes are very dark brown eyes almost to the point there black and I have big black eyebrows (and a uni QwQ), a Roman nose, and a lot of freckles. Iā€™m short (5ā€™3) and were glasses cuz I have THE WORST eyesight. Also I have pretty bad acne but make up for it with my muscular build. My clothes style is a mix of grunge and casual. I wear bandaids on my fingers cuz Iā€™m constantly biting at my cuticles
My hobbies are art, biology, and music. I play baritone horn in the school band and want to play in an orchestra professionally. I also LOVE rats and have a pet rat named Darwin and I take him out to play a lot cuz heā€™s basically my best friend. I study a lot and try to get good grades bc Iā€™m a second gen immigrant with daddy issues.
Also Iā€™m a total shopaholic and love to buy records/cdā€™s and other antique trinkets. Plus I practically live with headphones in and adore matching keychains.
Your Outsiders Ship: Two Bit Mathews (be so fr I love you two togetherrr)
Also, Iā€™m so sorry that I did this too late. I got really really really really busy this month so yeah!!! youā€™re one of my favorite blogs!
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Explanation: first of all, I just really love you guys together. I donā€™t know. I just canā€™t really even express it enough of how much that I ship you guys because I feel like you would start off being socially awkward and I donā€™t feel like he would mistake that for rudeness, but I think he would find it utterly hilarious of how like me and you can come across whenever youā€™re really really just donā€™t know what to say. I just love that dynamic like I feel like you would try to be serious about some thing and then he would joke about it and you would get irritated. I donā€™t know. I just love the dynamic. Iā€™m like so many things in my head right now. I think you would balance each other out so well because you did say that you like more outgoing guys and he is perfect if you like an outgoing guy because social embarrassment fears Two Bit he has like no control and you would do great for reeling him back in and he would do great for forgetting you did like stop shoving that stick so far up your ass. (I say this in a loving manner, as he probably would) again. I think youā€™ve been like my favorite opposite kind of couple vibe like youā€™re my favorite thing that Iā€™ve gotten so far where Iā€™m like oh these guys would be totally opposite. I feel like this is just my favorite because it just keeps getting better and better. He also really appreciates the fact that youā€™re so keen and observant because it definitely balances him out because heā€™s quite the opposite although I do think he would sometimes both struggle because neither of you pay attention to what youā€™re actually supposed to be paying attention to, but you can still always fill him in on the details of things that are minor or less important and I think he would really appreciate having a partner that can do that for him. I donā€™t feel like heā€™s the type of guy to immediately ask for your boundaries so he probably had to learn about the fact that youā€™re not a huge fan of public display of affection because he definitely like kissed you in front of the whole gang or some shit like that really drunk hidden proudly held you up and was like ā€œyeah this is my boyfriend. Heā€™s so fucking hot-ā€œ while like holding your waist or something. But anyway, after he learns about the fact that youā€™re not a huge fan of it, he immediately stops but he still would definitely tease in public. He also loves the fact that you do pottery and I think he would find it adorable and if you ever made him anything, even if it was like absolute shit and Iā€™m talking literal shit like if you put literal shit in a pot somehow he would still love it like he just loves you and he acts kind of nonchalant about it whenever you give it to him, but he like treasures that thing, man. I think itā€™s funny that you come across as intimidating because he is one of a few people that will not be intimidated by intimidating people or at least not show it upward like he will still joke about it and you know like why so serious but yeah. He loves roller coasters and I think you guys would have so much fun and amusement park. He would like all the little plushy, especially if they had like Disney ones where he could win Mickey Mouse he would be all over that shit like if you ever went to Disneyland, it would just be a blast. I feel like that somewhere you would plan to have a date or like a bucket list for your guises relationship because man you both would love going to Disneyland together. As for your appearance, I think he would find you incredibly hot. I think that he doesnā€™t really have much of a to be honest, because honestly, he thinks youā€™re like another level of gorgeous. He doesnā€™t mind you being mixed at all and things that it adds to your beauty I think that he loves staring in your brown eyes and things that itā€™s the most attractive eyecolor to have and I think he would find your glasses so cute although he would tease you about it and have glasses related nicknames to give you because you have glasses he would definitely make fun of you for that. He would also make fun of you for being short.
Itā€™s always a teasing loving way, but he would definitely pick you up just to like show how short you are and definitely come up with both glasses wearing nicknames and the fact that youā€™re short nicknames. He doesnā€™t mind your acne and gets it himself not as bad as you but not great either so he really doesnā€™t care about that kind of shit he just thinks itā€™s skin. I think hot as hell like he just loves fighting with you. I mean itā€™s already clear that this guy loves getting into fights, but I think he would love getting into fights with with your side and thinks itā€™s hot as hell whenever he gets to see you kick someoneā€™s ass. Well, he isnā€™t that hard-working in school for himself. I think he would definitely appreciate it that you work so hard to bring your family honor and just for self improvement. I think he thinks itā€™s amazing and secretly is envious of it a little bit but heā€™s really just happy for you more than he sad for himself. I think he also likes rats, but I donā€™t think he loves them and I think he might be a little of them before he met yours like I feel like your pet rat is what made him truly fall in love with rats like at first, he was a little scared of it and you would like definitely make fun of him because heā€™s always always the one wise cracking you know making jokes until he sees a rat and he starts screaming like a little girl. Let me tell you. But anyway, I think he would come to all of your band performances and he would be really angry whenever they didnā€™t give you like the biggest solo ever and youā€™d have to explain thatā€™s not how it works and sometimes you just get group numbers and then he would just be mad. Heā€™d be like youā€™re easily the most talented one there why arenā€™t they giving you a bigger part or something like that. Once he learns about your love for shopping, I feel like he would totally try and shop so many things for you like once he finds out about what you usually like shopping for he would go into a store and walk out looking much fatter than he had come in because he shoved a bunch of records into his shirt or something like that. And he would come home and deliver them to you and be so like proud of himself and youā€™d be like but where did you get these? I mean I know you donā€™t have enough money to buy like this many records and then he would just be like donā€™t worry about it. I also think that he would think itā€™s cute to get matching keychains, but he would never ever admit that to you, but if you got one for him, he would cherish it for like the rest of his life and then whenever the game makes fun of him about it, he shuts them up very quickly. It may be one of the things he takes seriously.
(Iā€™m so sorry this took so long, but I hope this was satisfactory)
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kaitlynnlauryenn Ā· 1 year ago
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I don't understand. I talked with my boyfriend yesterday & I told him all the fears & anger I had towards him.
My frustration towards being so miserable all the time & being completely consumed by our relationship.
How hard it is for me to connect with him because the things that frustrate him & upset him make me mad at him.
I can still barely get through my day without feeling as if it's my fault for being kicked out.
That if we didn't date then maybe I wouldn't have torn my family apart for being an abusive environment when they all tried so hard to create communication & community with each other & I couldn't.
Then maybe I'd have a car rn & be in an apartment not stressing & worrying about how I am gonna get another job because I cannot afford to live if I don't get one.
I wouldn't be at my bf's parents house hiding because I've been on social media all day & haven't eaten & just want to smoke a fucking cigarette & I am embarrassed & don't want to be seen smoking by my bf's younger brother. (who knows I smoke & has seen me already)
The conversation I had with my bf yesterday gave me so much relief & freedom. Being able to communicate openly & not be judged or for him to be angry at me.
Especially because I was telling him that the things that anger me are the same things that other ppl struggle to talk with him about & I know that he really tries.
Like he is literally just autistic & he's finding out as an adult.
Same as I am with my ADHD, even though I've suspected this for years.
Like things that are hard to understand about myself come from expecting SO MUCH FROM MYSELF.
But every time I think about expecting less it means I am incapable in all facets of my life.
It's like the veil of my misery being my fault is falling, but also not really because I am the only one who can heal myself & take off this weight that wants to stay here.
I am so fucking doneeee.
I wanna be brave.
I wanna face the things I am afraid of & give myself confidence & compassion & support but I am just drowning in self pity & misery.
I've literally spent all day avoiding this melt down & I am still having it.
I don't want to cry anymore. I don't want to be DISTRAUGHT, like so distraught that you can see in my face & my eyes that I am miserable.
You know how faces tend to sit & rest in the position of whatever emotion you are feeling?
Like yes, you can hide a feeling & pretend to be happier or more content than you are, but you can always see the real emotions someone feels in their eyes. Or when they rest their face. Like you really can't hide.
And when you feel MASSIVELY DISTRAUGHT like 85% of your day on a regular basis it shows.
When you look at me you can see my pain.
People used to tell me that I always looked so happy & that I glowed & was so pretty.
Fucking no one says that to me anymore. Nobody. The customers from my job can see it.
Old fucking white men take it up on themselves to try & make me smile more or brighten a face that feels so dark. I am so fucking ashamed.
My distraught robs me of my freedom to move & do anything.
Learn, pick up new skills, motivate myself in a way that brings in positive interactions or people, or opportunities.
Like what you put out you get back. I know this fr. I've seen it happen to me. Over & over. In positive ways too. In a lot of positive ways actually.
It makes me feel so guilty for projecting such horrid pain & anger & anguish.
I want to be done healing.
I want to feel stable.
I want to eat because not eating only makes this pain I feel so much worse & intense.
I want to be able to navigate interacting with people who I know I don't agree with or who don't agree with me & not feel the need to disintegrate.
I want to speak up when I am mad or feel mistreated or disrespected.
I want to not be in complete distraught every day all day.
I want to feel free & comfortable to eat & to EATTTTTT.
I want to stop making everything I need to do for myself into Mount Everest.
I want to relax & let go of all the things pounding in my head so that I can recharge.
I want fucking peace.
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cool-and-caustic Ā· 1 year ago
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Thatā€™s actually so embarrassing when I see poc online who mostly interact with white ppl because..... Whatā€™s your excuse??? How does that even happen?? I get you canā€™t help where you live but we are online why is the ratio 1 poc for every 99 white ppl whatā€™s going on???
Sometimes I see a contextless post someone saying ā€œhow do you know I only interact with white ppl?ā€ And I get nosey so I go thru their blog and fr itā€™s just white ppl like they all have their race in their bio or a selfie or you could search their blog and they mention theyā€™re white like thatā€™s so embarrassing if you didnā€™t notice that Iā€™m praying for you guys thatā€™s not right I wish you healing I wish you the ethnic variation of a United States community college homepage photo
Itā€™s always funny seeing ppl assume a user is white and then they pull out the ā€œHah! Iā€™m not white!ā€ bc like... thatā€™s so embarrassing for you?
Especially when they mostly interact with white ppl (who have their race in their bio/post selfieā€™s/made it clear they are white). And itā€™s after they say some racist shit. Like.... come on you donā€™t have your race in your bio but have all fifty mental illnesses and your deepest darkest secrets and your preferred name and pronouns and you mostly interact with white ppl of course everyone thought you were white
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ca-suffit Ā· 4 months ago
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why the hell are you tagging Jacob Anderson with your deranged tantrums on twitter for? are you insane? are you 12yo?? that man is successful actor and artist with busy life and family and new baby you think he's interested reading some childish bullshit of some anonymous rando online throwing tantrum and tagging him because they got in a one sided fight with another tumblr user in fandom? grow up god it's so embarrassing he even sees that get a life pls and get some psychiatric help!!
I think I'm trying to get black trans ppl's rent paid and nocontextlestat had no interest in helping so I escalated the situation as anyone else would. everyone's got all the time in the world to blow smoke up everyone's ass about these useless white fandom ppl but u can't help get black ppl paid?? u can't stand up to transphobia?? I think ppl should have awareness of this. she wanted to praise jacob but then get offended by mention of black trans ppl?? that was her choice, not mine. it's also been the choice of this fandom to smear a trans person *and* this org in connection to me, so they *also* started this. it was connected to her post too bcuz it's part of this fandom's history that still is happening and she doesn't care. why ppl aren't being louder about this all idk but I sure fucking am bcuz I'm being used as the excuse to do this all the time. eat glass.
go follow @transfloridaresources, pay some ppl and shut the fuck up. tumblr fandoms always wanna play activists for anything until it comes down to rly showing up fr. especially for black ppl.
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b00tyliciousbabe Ā· 2 years ago
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Jack Harlow x Black Male Reader.
Summary: I RECOGNISE THAT JACK HARLOW ISNā€™T GAY. itā€™s just a fun thing that I wanted to experiment with and to share my slutty fantasy lmaooo enjoy. no disrespect to my bae Jackman Thomas Harlow either, ily maybe a lil too muchā€¦this is my first post btw, so lmk what you wonderful ppl think šŸ’•āœØ
Details: sprinkles of NSFW and fluff - we need a healthy balance. (hints of feminisation cause Iā€™m in this weird stage of my gender identity - donā€™t watch that) ngl this is a simp post 4 him saying heā€™s ugly, one, do you even have eyes, and two, yā€™all can eat my ass, preferably after Iā€™ve been barebacked by Jack. Iā€™m nasty, get used to it šŸ˜­
I definitely think a white man is gonna deflower me lol - with Chris Evans and Henry Cavill as main celebrity contenders. But itā€™s the way Jack is so caring with black women, and just appreciative of black culture in general, that doesnā€™t seem performative. Itā€™s a genuine love and admiration for my identity as a black person which makes me that much more attracted to him. His energy is just everything; His infectious smile, a voice that could legit make me melt, and beautiful blue eyes that I want glued to my body 24/7, I love everything about him.
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Letā€™s start with the fluffy stuff. I feel like heā€™d have me saved in his phone as some sweet nickname for me and I would save him as ā€œjackman xxā€ instead of Jack just to be different šŸ¤­ but I would be the only one whoā€™s actually allowed to use his government name hahaaaa.
I can picture us with two black kids; One girl (sheā€™s gonna be a couple years older), one boy, and thatā€™s our perfect nuclear family lol. Heā€™s definitely the one to spoil our kids so I can already imagine me being the bad cop parent in our family. BUT HEā€™S SO GOOD WITH KIDS like look at that picture. This doesnā€™t mean heā€™s a pushover, he would definitely get more pissed than you if the kids werenā€™t listening. So heā€™d be more sweet than stern but would discipline when needed. like imagine him saying ā€œyo, stop disrespecting your daddy.ā€ I WOULD DIEEEE. But I think the most amazing part of him being the father to my kids is the fact that he wouldā€™ve chosen to love me in the most organic way possible. We would have 2 whole physical representations of our love for one another and I think thatā€™s so precious.
I feel like Jack is super romantic. Iā€™m talking personally delivering a huge bouquet of my favourite white tulips and pink roses just because.
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I know he could never, but if somehow, in another reality, we were together, I know he would make me feel sooooo good šŸ˜© I would think of Jack as a very compassionate lover. Donā€™t get me wrong, the man could make earthquakes with how hard and intense his strokes are but, with me being a virgin, I feel like he would definitely take his time with me. That being said, I do get the vibe that heā€™s experienced, but solely with girls, so itā€™d be a learning curve for him as well.
I donā€™t think yā€™all realise, but I would be on my knees 24/7 for this man. I know he doesnā€™t like the deepthroat with girls cause their throat is a lil too tight but Iā€™d try my best to show him how pleasurable it can be. Jack is hung imma tell u. I feel like Jackā€™s dick isnā€™t too big, definitely bigger than average maybe 6.5/7 inches, but he would know what to do with itttt. I just know that his cock could make me weak in the knees. I always fantasise about sucking him off and staring into his blue eyes as he smiles at me, with my mouth full of his dick. A real paradox between slutty and innocent fr. I feel like heā€™d let me do my thing with his dick, I donā€™t see him being the type to face fuck me (unless I wanted him to), but instead heā€™d probably have his hands all up in my hair, or underneath my chin, guiding me to take his dick further down my throat. Ngl I would want his wood glistening with precum and saliva after Iā€™m done with him. He strikes me as the type of person to enjoy sloppy toppy as well. I wouldnā€™t even feel embarrassed to slobber and dribble over him cause we would be comfortable enough. ā€œDamn baby, that mouth tho.ā€ I can hear him saying as I take him fully. I would prefer him to slouch down like on a couch or smth, with his tracksuit bottoms bunching at his ankles and his tech fleece hoodie unzipped showing his bare chest as his cock just bounces up and down begging for me to suck it. ā€œCome on babe, he really needs you rn.ā€ whilst he swirls his dick in his hands šŸ˜©šŸ« šŸ¤­
Onto how he fucks me; I feel like heā€™d love to see me on top. Not that Iā€™m a power bottom or anything, my top is more than just a pole for me to use, but I feel like watching one of his hands gripping my left cheek, with the other behind his head, would be so hot. Watching him smile at how drunk I am for him would turn me on so much. Plus in his position I can grab his pecs, go down to kiss him, whilst he jackhammers and ploughs into me while Iā€™m on top. UGHHH A DREAM. So many of yā€™all think heā€™s ugly but I would love to be in missionary with him. Have my hands all up in his curls, feel his breath on my face, see his cum face (I just know itā€™s the sexiest thing ever) i would nut right there. I feel like heā€™d be so sensual with his thrusts, it wouldnā€™t be hard, just really loving. Donā€™t get me wrong though, i think Jack would clap my cheeks so hard I wouldnā€™t be able to walk for a couple days, but he wouldnā€™t want to hurt me. Prone Bone would be a dream as well. I know Jack would be the one to whisper dirty ass things in my ear. ā€œFuck, thatā€™s some good pussy baby.ā€ ā€œSo tight for daddy arenā€™t youā€
Onto his cum. MWAHAHAHAAA, I would live for it. I wouldnā€™t be satisfied unless I got at least two loads of his from our sessions. I feel like he would cum a lot but not all at once, it wouldnā€™t be explosive but fast enough. I get the vibe that heā€™d love seeing his cum all over my face. ā€œyou look so good with my nut all over your faceā€ as he feeds me it from his fingers. I would definitely keep sucking after he busts tho, because Iā€™ve seen how weak it makes them. Jack would definitely be the dom in the relationship but thereā€™s something about hearing him whine and wither, begging me to stop sucking/slow down just makes me so wet. I feel, like most ppl, he would want to cum whilst inside. The only time heā€™d pull out is if Iā€™d ask him to, to which i feel like heā€™d bust his nut all over my ass, paying particular attention to coating my hole.
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Aftercareeee w this man is just top tier. You thought he was only good at clapping my cheeks and stuffing me full, lmao heā€™s the whole package- literally. Often times, thereā€™s not much to clean up and I think heā€™d like me falling asleep with his cum inside my ass. ā€œYou did so well baby boy, youā€™re always too good to me.ā€ I feel like heā€™d be exhausted by the time weā€™ve both bottomed out, and fight to stay awake to make sure Iā€™m asleep before him. Heā€™d be really needy ā€œBabe, I donā€™t deserve you, youā€™re so beautifulā€ ā€œdonā€™t ever leave me.ā€ The cockiness in me wants to say that our sex made him drunk. I feel like heā€™d be such a big spoon.
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