#while walking around i thought this might be one of the most beautiful places ive ever been to

[mmagpye]

pics from a central Indiana wildlife reserve

[jeysbvck]

freedom (is standing next to you) - chapter 6.

author note: once again, credit to @rishlurh for my header & banner! hope you all enjoy this chapter, please let me know if you do, i'm not 100% convinced i should continue! and again, PLEASE REBLOG.

word count: 2.9k

warnings: one mention of rape, main characters injured, violence. im not sure if ive forgotten anything so pls let me know if i have!

taglist (if you wanna be added/removed, just let me know!): @tinalbion @maplefire18 @honeyglee @mercurial-make-em-ups @valeriiecameron @azaleaforsure @stylesxmunson

summary: an attack on the ship interrupts you & eddie, and everything makes you re-examine your feelings.

If seven months ago, someone had told you'd be standing in Captain Eddie Munsons quarters, you'd have called them insane. There were a surprising number of lanterns dotted around the place, and between those and the sheer amount of trinkets he had, the place had a glow about it. This was by far more trinkets than Robin had, and you couldn't help but smile as you thought about the two of them having a competition of who could collect the most. There were paintings on the wall, some were in frames, and so beautiful, they looked like they should be hung up in a museum, whereas some looked like they'd been done by an amateur. They weren't bad, however, the artist had done them had an incredible talent, and the fact Eddie had them on the walls told you that they meant a great deal to Eddie. You walked towards a cabinet full of weapons, some guns you recognised from Nancy's books, but it was the swords that intrigued you. One was silver, with random carvings etched into the black hilt, while another was all black, with a single ruby in the middle of the hilt. You ran your finger over one of the daggers carefully as you walked towards another shelf of trinkets, making a mental note to check out the bookcase that caught you eye from the other side of the room.

You were immediately drawn to a small, round silver box that seemed to shine brighter than the things around it. It was beautiful, with pale blue ornate markings that almost looked like jewels when the light hit it. It was heavier than you anticipated, and when you opened it, the gentle lullaby instantly transported you to being a little girl again, lying in bed in your mother's arms as she showed you her own music box, one different from this, but with the same melody. One that had been lost long ago.

"A drink for the lady." Eddie said. You turned on your heels and closed the box, the music stopping abruptly. You took the drink from Eddie's outstretched hand and put the music box back where you'd found it. "What do you think?"

"Of what?" You asked, and Eddie rolled his eyes as he gestured around the room. You followed his hand, and almost choked on the rum you were drinking when you saw the large, four poster bed. Eddie smirked, his eyes glued to you as you tried to drink away the thoughts of Eddie in the bed.

"Is the Captain's quarters everything you thought it would be?" He asked. There was something in his voice, something you couldn't quite put your finger on, but you didn't like it all the same.

"Eddie, I've literally never thought about this room before."

"Yeah? You sure about that?" Eddie arched his eyebrow, the corner of his lip arching ever so slightly, but just as smugly. Okay, sure, maybe you'd thought about what goes on behind these doors, especially when Eddie and Steve stayed locked in here for days, and there might have been a couple of sleepless nights when your thoughts drifted to Eddie being in bed, and if he was thinking about you. But you'd never tell him about those rare happenings.

"Yeah, Eddie, I'm sure." You said firmly, refusing to break eye contact. Eddie chuckled under his breath and sat down on his bed. He patted the empty space next to him, but not before pointing to the bottle of rum next to you. You rolled your eyes as you grabbed it and sat next to Eddie, handing off the bottle as you did. Although you were gingerly sat on the edge of the bed, you could tell it was as comfortable as it looked and you mentally cursed yourself as your brain conjured up another image of Eddie in bed.

Never really one for small talk, Eddie jumped right into it. "What's going on, Princess? And let's not waste time with you pretending everything's fine. You've banished yourself from the cabin, has something happened?"

"No, nothing's happened. It's just been a strange few days. Nancy and Robin have been on my case for weeks about...something, and nothing I say can persuade them that they're wrong, and then today, I walked in on- wait, do you know?"

"Do I know...what? Oh, about Robin and Nancy?"

You gasped and pointed your finger at him, "So Robin did tell you! How long have you known? I can't believe she told you and Nancy didn't te-"

"Whoa Princess, Robin hasn't told me anything, I mean, it's pretty obvious though, it's written all over their faces!" Eddie laughed. "So wait, what did you walk into?"

"They were kissing!"

"And that's why you banished yourself from the cabin?"

"Yeah, kinda." You sighed, as Eddie filled your glass up again.

"Wow, didn't take you for that kinda person." Eddie replied and your eyes widened. "What? No, Eddie," You sighed and rubbed your forehead. "I don't care that they're both women, and it's, whatever, that Nancy didn't tell me. It's just, Robin made a comment about not being able to...spend time together, because there's three of us, and it hit a sore spot, so I thought I'd give them space." You explained.

"So that explains the self-banishing, but what about the other thing? You were so jumpy, it was like you weren't present."

You chuckled slightly and shook your head. "Now that, really was nothing, it was just me being slightly too lost in my thoughts." You really didn't want to talk about it, but one look at Eddie confirmed he was never going to drop it.

"Come on, we're friends. Talk to me." Eddie insisted, and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes. There was that word again, friends. It felt like he was really pushing the friend rhetoric, and it was weird. Had Robin said something, to Eddie, or to Steve, who'd told Eddie? She wouldn't go that far, right?

"Eddie," You whined. Before you could say anything else though, Eddie cut you off.

"Before you decline, just remember, I'm the Captain, and I can, and will, annoy you to death before I give up."

"Wow, what a power trip." You replied. "Alright, fine, Captain, but only because you're really annoying." You held out your glass and Eddie obliged, filling it to the brim. You finished half the glass in one drink, then looked down at sloshing brown liquid.

"I'm scared, okay? I'm scared I killed my father."

Eddie was silent for a moment, but it felt like forever. He places his glass on the crate next to his bed and was clearly choosing his words carefully. "When did you kill your father? I thought you left in the middle of the night?"

"No, not by my hands. But, Eddie, what if my actions killed him? What if running away, getting on this ship, what if I killed him? Why didn't I just stay?"

Eddie's expression softened at the sight of you spiralling. Speaking it out loud didn't help the weight that was crushing you and it didn't silence that voice in your head. All it did was make you seem crazy, because it was crazy. You knew it was. Eddie replaced the glass you were holding with his hand, and squeezed your hand as hard as he could three times, which brought your focus back to him.

"You know why you didn't stay." Eddie said, softly. "It wasn't what you wanted and it wasn't what your mother wanted either. Your father let his grief consume him, and it made him forget what- and who- was important. You just did what you had to do. Look, your dad could be alive and well, but if he isn't, that's on him. You didn't kill him."

Every time you interacted with Eddie, he surprised you, and this was no different. He didn't really show this side of him around the crew, which made sense, being the Captain, and you couldn't help but wonder if he was like this around anyone else, or if it was just you. "I know that, up here." You replied, tapping your temple with your finger. "But in here," you add, placing your hand on your chest, "I don't know, it feels...like my head is lying to me. And shouldn't you always go with your heart, not your head?"

"Not when your heart is a lying jackass. No offence." He said with a grin and you smiled in spite of yourself. "I know it feels like, if you lose your father, you lose the last thread of your family, but that's not true."

"It's not? Because it sure feels like it is."

"No! Because you can make your own family. Family doesn't always mean related by blood. It's who you'd fight for, who you'd do anything to protect, who you'd die for."

"Thanks Eddie, truly. I know it's stupid, but I guess when you don't tell anyone, things can manifest."

"You haven't spoken to Nancy about this? Well, I feel honored." Eddie lifted up your chin and grinned. "I'm here for you, okay?"

You nodded, unable to look away from Eddie, just as he couldnt from you. His eyes darted to your lips, and your chest tightened. A loud crash came from above, making you look up. "Should we be worried?" You whispered, but Eddie shook his head.

"They're idiots, they've probably just dropped something." He whispered, tracing your jawline with his finger before cupping your cheek. He leaned in ever so slightly, giving you the option of pulling away. You were frozen to the spot, the way Eddie was softly stroking your cheek was intoxicating, unable to remove yourself from the trance that his touch had put you under. But once again, the universe had other plans.

There was another loud crash, only this time, it was from the door to Eddie's quarters, and there stood Steve, gasping for breath. "Cap, you gotta come, it's- we're under attack!"

Eddie jumped up and raced to his weapon cabinet. He grabbed his gun, a dagger and a sword, while Steve was shouting details at him.

"Is it the Royals?" Eddie asked, and Steve shook his head.

"I don't think so, but it could be. It's chaos up there, hurry!"

You attempted to follow Steve, but Eddie pulled you back. "You're staying here." He said, his tone had shifted back to Pirate Captain, but you shook your head. "You cannot come up there! Best case scenario, it's the Royals. Worst case is it's more pirates, and they will rape you before they give you up for the bounty!"

Nausea took over your body, but you stood firm. "Nancy's up there, Eddie! I can't stay here while she's up there!" You yelled. Eddie grabbed your face in his hands, and forced you to look into his eyes.

"I swear to you, I will protect Nancy. I won't let anything happen to her. But you, you gotta stay down here, please."

You groaned and pulled yourself from Eddie's grip, but nodded in defeat. The fact you had to sit down here and wait, well you hated it. You knew there wasn't really much you could do up there; apart from being in the way and being a huge liability, but with Nancy up there, you didn't care about yourself at all. You just wanted her to be safe. "I promise, okay?" Eddie said, and you nodded, reluctantly. He brought your hand up to his face and placed his lips against your knuckles, before he tilted his head to a door that you hadn't noticed before. "It's a closet, if you hear anything outside that door, get in there as fast as you can." And with one last look, Eddie followed Steve out to the war zone above.

You weren't sure how long you were sitting on the floor; hugging your knees, just waiting, listening to the sounds of death coming from above. You had no idea if anyone on the crew was okay, or what was even happening. But then, a loud bang against Eddie's door echoed, then shouting, followed by more banging. You looked to the closet, but you were too far away, so you opted for the closest thing. You crawled underneath the bed and held your hand against your mouth as the door splintered open seconds later. You watched feet wander around the room and trinkets get thrown to the floor, and your hand got tighter against your mouth.

Your heart almost gave out as you let out the loudest scream possible as someone grabbed your ankle and pulled you out from under the bed. You kicked out with your free foot, and a second attacker pulled you up by your hair. "Shut up, bitch!" He hissed. You fought as much as you could, managing to claw at his face. He let go of you and you raced to the weapons cabinet and swiped a dagger off it, before being punched in the face and thrown against the wall.

"Look what the Captain's been hiding away." The pirate sneered. "I could still get a pretty penny after I've finished with you, even with that black eye." His finger ran down your cheek, but it made your skin crawl, it didn't feel anything like when Eddie did it. "I'm going to enjoy my time with y-"

You pulled the dagger out of his abdomen and he fell against you as the light left his eyes. You pushed the lifeless body to the floor and stumbled towards the closet. Before you could get there, a defeaning Pop! echoed out, and you hit the floor.

You rolled over onto your back, unable to hear anything but the sound of ringing in your ears. As the attacker stalked towards you, you scrambled backwards, still gripping the dagger, and pain excruciating from your shoulder, but you pushed through it. When the attacker leaned down to grab you, you sliced his arm as hard as you could.

"Bitch!" He spat, and as he picked you up off the floor, you punctured his neck with the dagger. He staggered back and grabbed at his neck, and you let out an agonising scream when your shoulder broke your fall.

You watched, terrified, as your attacker stumbled around, spluttering up blood. When he clattered to the wooden floor, it fell silent, and let out an anguished sob as you lay on the floor. You reached up to your shoulder and looked at your hand, blood seeping through your fingers, and you frowned, confused, as a sheet of black began to drape over you, but Nancy's voice made your eyes snap open.

"Oh my God, Robin, come help me!" She yelled, and your two friends hovered over you. Nancy cradled your head and she moved some hair from your face. She opened her mouth, but no words came out. "Are you okay?!" Robin asked for her.

"I think so." You said, breathlessly. "Are you okay?" Robin nodded, and you looked back to Nancy. "Nance, are you okay?"

Nancy nodded, but tears threatened to escape her eyes. "Nance? Are you hurt?" She shook her head. "It's not me, it's-"

Nancy stopped talking as Jonathan and Steve came bundling into the room, shouting and carrying an unconscious Eddie. "Steve! Get him on the bed!" Jonathan yelled and tried to sit up, letting out a sharp hiss as you caught your shoulder.

"What? Is he okay?" You asked, your voice panicked and high. Nancy and Robin both helped you up, and you rushed to Eddie's side, Robin helping you into the chair she had dragged across the room for you. His face looked so peaceful, but when you looked at the injuries, a sob got caught in your throat. Blood had dried and stained his white shirt, and you were pretty sure that was a bullet hole in his shoulder. "What happened?!"

"He, uh- I don't-" Steve was a wreck, standing on the other side of his Captain, just staring down at him. Jonathan and Nancy had taken charge, Nancy was already ripping your shirt, and was about to use alcohol to clean your own shoulder wound, while Jonathan was ransacking the room

"He saved Nancy's life." Robin muttered. "He practically jumped in front of the bullet."

Your eyes left Eddie and shot up to Steve, wide and teary, but Steve firmly shook his head. "No, don't even think that."

"Steve." You said, while Nancy and Robin both asked at the same time, "What's going on?"

Steve walked around the bed and crouched down in front of you. "He's the Captain, even if he hadn't promised you, he'd have still done it. He'd have taken that bullet for any one of us on this ship."

You knew Steve was right, and you nodded. You reached out and took his hand, and gave it a tight squeeze before letting go and taking Eddie's limp hand. Jonathan cut Eddie's shirt off, as he and Steve cleaned the wound. Everyone was silent while Nancy cleaned yours, and you pulled your fingers gently through Eddie's curls as you begged him quietly to come back to you.

"Come on, you need to rest." Nancy urged you once your own wound was cleaned and wrapped, and you shook your head. "Please, just a few hours. He's still going to be here in the morning." But still, you shook your head. You weren't going anywhere, not until he was awake, no matter how long it took.

[ghoulxh]

Stay

— — —

Papa Emeritus IV x Reader Word Count: 1,820 Not proofread. Warnings: angst. I mean... I literally cried while writing this.

If you'd prefer to read this on Ao3

A/N- This is much different from what I usually write, I try to keep things happy, but I just couldn't get this idea out of my head. <3

All day you had felt something was off, precisely since the moment Copia left your suite in the morning. His movements had all been slow, as opposed to most mornings when he was rushing to get out the door in time to please Sister Imperator, he took extra time with you when you woke up, making sure he left you happy, making love to you, and showering with you, doing everything you loved to do on mornings when you weren’t as rushed. 

Every time you attempted to rush him and get him out the door so that he wasn’t late for work he would put his index finger against your lips and shush you. He would repeat the same thing to you. “What is waiting for me out there is nowhere as important as you, amore mio.” 

What worried you was what he said after that. 

“I want to spend every moment I have left with you.” He pressed a soft and gentle kiss to your forehead. You couldn’t help but close your eyes and revel in the touch of your beautiful husband. His hands gently cupped your face, and his lips delicately brushed against your skin.

“Copia is something wrong, my love?” You asked him finally. He pulled away from you, taking you in. The only thing you had covering you was your silk robe and that didn’t leave much to the imagination. 

“No, no… everything is as it should be, Tesoro. Do not worry.” Your eyes scanned his face trying to see if you could read his expression but he was all over the place. His expressions were telling you one thing, his body language another, and his eyes… well his eyes looked like he could burst into tears at any moment. 

“Alright then… You should go. I don’t want to keep you any more than I have to. I don’t want Sister to be upset with you,” you said, attempting to dismiss everything. If he told you everything was alright then you’d take his word for it. He had no reason to lie to you. He gave you one last passionate kiss before turning around to leave. “I will see you tonight, hm?” He gave you a sad little smile. “Copia, you’re worrying me—”

“I will see you tonight, Bellissima.” You smiled back at him before watching him leave. 

You tried to go on with your duties as you would any other day, but those moments before he left kept replaying in your head. The sad smile, his words, everything. 

You also realized every time you bumped into a ghoul or another member of the clergy they’d all give you sorrowful looks. Even the day took pity on you for some reason. The clouds were gray and gloomy and the rain came and went every few minutes. That rain eventually turned into a storm. The claps of thunder gave you a scare almost whenever they bounced off the walls.

You eventually found yourself on your knees in the chapel in front of the altar praying. You tried to think of other things to pray for but you kept coming back to “please, Sathanas keep my beloved safe.” You were thinking about the unfortunate fate of the last three Papas… But surely not. Sister wouldn’t… her own son, her own flesh and blood? Of course not. You were just being paranoid is all. With one last loud and mighty clap of thunder, you closed your prayer and straightened up. 

A chilly breeze ghosted over your body and you wrapped your arms around yourself to keep warm. Maybe you should’ve borrowed Copia’s red jacket after all. You finally allowed yourself your first real smile of the day as you thought back to that red jacket you loved so much, how it was too big for you, and how Copia’s smell always lingered on it.

You walked out of the chapel to immediately be greeted with very cold air. You decided since it was getting dark you might as well go find Copia, and let him know that was enough work for today. You had been looking forward to getting Copia to cook for you tonight, maybe some soup since it was cold out. 

Oh, how you loved it when he cooked for you. He’d always look divine while doing so too, his sleeves rolled up to his elbow, his eyes very focused on whatever he was chopping or mixing, and of course, his ‘Kiss The Cook’ apron never failed to be on. 

You finally reached his office which was not too far, but in the cold, it felt like an eternity. You knocked a few times but you received no answer. You knew Copia had the sounds of your knocks memorized because he would always say something along the lines of ‘Tesoro, I have told you before. You do not have to knock’ and you’d always giggle a little bit before opening the door and going straight to his desk and giving him a soft kiss and distracting him from whatever he was doing for a little while. 

“Copia?” no response. “My love? It’s me…” You opened the door, just to find he was not there. His office however looked a mess, like he’d left in a hurry. Papers all over his desk (and the floor), his chair pushed away from the desk, his writing utensils scattered all over his desk rather than in the mug he used to store them, and the top drawer of his desk opened. 

You went around the desk looking over the papers on the table. Nothing of importance, just requests from ghouls, and siblings of sin. You carefully closed the drawer that was opened, and that’s when you saw a letter addressed to you from Copia. 

Something was wrong. Something was most definitely wrong and you had to find out what it was. At that moment you didn’t care you had a dress on, you stuck the letter in the pocket of your dress and ran. You ran as fast as your legs could take you. 

You almost ran past the courtyard but stopped when you saw Copia standing in front of a ghoul in the rain and Sister Imperator, who had an umbrella just big enough to cover herself. 

“Copia?” you mumbled to yourself. You weren’t close enough to hear what they were saying, but you could see Copia’s face and all you saw in his eyes was fear. Sister Imperator’s arms were crossed behind her back and the ghoul was standing a few steps behind her almost like it was waiting for orders. You saw Sister Imperator turn her head to say something to the ghoul before walking away, leaving Copia alone with said ghoul.

Before you even had time to react, Copia was raising his hands in surrender and the ghoul was lunging at him like a vicious dog, with a blade clutched in his hand, knocking Copia down. 

“No!” you screamed out. Your scream alerted the ghoul who looked back at you, Swiss, but he did not attempt to harm you. Instead, he got up from where he was on top of Copia and pulled the blade out of your husband, who was now lying on the ground. Swiss looked over his shoulder at you one more time before dropping the blade on the grass right at Copia’s feet and walking away with his head hanging low. “Copia!” 

You ran as fast as you could toward him, and you dropped to your knees as soon as you were beside him. Your hair got in your face, but it was the least of your worries as your hands went immediately to the severe wound that was bleeding more than you’d ever seen. Your vision went blurry with the tears that pooled in your eyes. 

“Copia, you have to stay with me, alright? Just look at me please,” you said as you put pressure on his wound. Copia let out a pained groan and you looked around trying to see if there was anyone that could help you. “Help! Please! Someone!” Copia coughed due to the blood that was now coming out of his mouth as well. 

“They will not come… I am afraid my time is up, cara.” You shook your head. “Just stay with me, si?” 

“No, no, I can help you… I know I can.” you cried. 

“Y/n…”

“You can’t—you can’t leave me, my love. I’m not… I’m not ready, we haven’t—we haven’t had a chance to start our family yet.” With the strength he had left, he pushed your hands away from his wound and took one of your hands into his. You moved him into your lap as best as you could, your free hand going into his hair soothing him like you did on days when work was hard, or when he was sick and he didn’t feel good. 

“We have, Tesoro.” he was struggling to get his words out, his breathing uneven and his mouth covered in blood. “Remember—last week when you couldn’t eat the rigatoni I made for you? Hmm? Or when you couldn’t stand the smell of your own perfume?” You gasped, your eyes growing wide. You felt your world come crumbling down at that moment, and your heart shattered.

“I can’t—I can’t do this without you.” Copia smiled at you despite being on the brink of death. He brushed the loose strands of hair out of your face and just knowing it would be the last time he ever did that for you sent more tears down your face. His hand cupped your cheek, and you placed your own on top of his.

“You will never be alone, tesoro. I will always be in your heart and you will always have a piece of me when our bambino is born… always.” 

“Copia… Copia.” You watched as the life left your lover’s eyes and suddenly you were alone in the courtyard, with only the corpse of the man you’d loved for many years. Your scream of agony finally got the attention of people around the abbey and doors began slamming open. You could just slightly hear the gasps of terror and the whispers over the sound of your own crying. You bent over and hugged the lifeless corpse of your husband, kissing him as if that would somehow bring him back to life. 

No one moved as they witnessed the scene in front of them. Some siblings of sin cried for their Papa. Some cried for his prime mover, who would be a widow for the rest of her life. His prime mover who would raise their child, the future Papa Emeritus, with only the memories of his father. His prime mover who would lose the spark in her eyes for the rest of her life. His prime mover who would die protecting her son from the same fate of his father.

Thank you so much for reading this if you made it all the way to the end!

Please consider reblogging! It's free, and it would really support my work! 🤍

[libidomechanica]

Untitled (“In the work they happen to me”)

A rispetto sequence

               Stanza I

In the work they happen to me. Over his imaged back, its limbs go lame! The love the dyer’s hair. Not yet, with icy breath most shocking

worm, so queenly beautiful! And so he had our dues. There is no sin, because in vain I have above; your faire mindes resort.

               Stanza II

To Jack howe’er our bed, with it eternities of the Lord’s, severe, sublimer than though its giant deck and spirits meet, a Haire

that we would form all mankind, and never was! Desiring young heir, to make a landing they built ten blocks when we turned to despair!

               Stanza III

But to cost youth, or whether Laws be right along the place, dash’d over his own, and wondered why men known and awful LOVELINESS,

would fain say fie on t, ’ if I had to swing. Those smile a hard-set smile, Love, from violence, to correct correct correct correction.

               Stanza IV

Fair, sweet passion and out, if a man’s bed, in trowth, I dare na venture, sir. The peroration, the flesh and both that’s more then let go.

And condescended to dust in more might disappoint myself upon parade. And I are on thee— on thee, and made them not aroynt!

               Stanza V

Of solitude; and thy attention possible, and narrowed to that once of manhood stand desolate, mark, whose worthy Ladies I

will, the fifth, who, by and by all agonies and winter’s dye! Send the phone for you, my love answer, echoes sound were their busy days.

               Stanza VI

Walking them a raiment made for Mahomet pick’d out around, they knew not what—a tendency and how to cut and its blossoms the

immediate fruit dost consequences. Your nipple; paps tractable as thou loved, but the garden of my life provide than thunder!

               Stanza VII

Be she bald, or an aged, helpless; all her friend Don Juan was immovable or strongly hedg’d of blood the kingly shouted, Allah!

Thy hair about I’ll lay, ravished in nature does precipitate, while the world aught the light and last. Future’s or on human kind.

               Stanza VIII

Or doth bring in the dark, an Isis hid by the cars will whisper, and sable hours by hours. Juggle born of its roses will triumphal

arch, perhaps as fair, but, your lately have in vain, such means would we work they hang a man: the topic’s tender embassy of love.

               Stanza IX

The beardless of heroism of him thy faire haire; her famine fat with me so weake? And I myself a poor and upon them.

Perceiving north, with having perhaps some still such as underneath the mind, when comes for my part, I pretended as if upon parade.

               Stanza X

But now I was a woman, men said, all pleasure the armies gathering swallow, there mighty locust on a midnight went on: through

the Eye, new Formes, and hide her and was given to forget it— for killing over her bed. And epic, if plain truth committeth.

               Stanza XI

Yet thought upon her. Their country pleasures of the dreams do show to the latter, sent a bey to answer was Leave me at the deadlier

than life, you young lad, who rolls tight skirt the madden’d Turks their tongue that are ever dearer; robert Burns: she’s to see. Poor boy, ’ she said.

               Stanza XII

And God from me; and their lutes did swell, each hath one, and nothing I discerned; at least nine tenths of the Good! A quire of pebbles. Whom thine

own fingers. He lies stellas faire appeare, I strike on a sudden glow: she found resisted, batteries thunder, and found Wit: od’s Life!

               Stanza XIII

Which our pavilion here upon sand which are they should displease, Cossacques, hovering on and with the patient look, through the whole camp was

in a stern wit named Smith; one of many a man for friendly foe, great extremely tranquil, anchor’d at its spires up like fiends for Sin.

               Stanza XIV

With me in earth, and birdless sightless eyes and pointed to be sick and rare. Little living from though the ground would weep and sigh and true,

it is the breeze. And, looking on myself like a stoic, or like a city of thee to me? What, haue I thus betray though his dear.

               Stanza XV

Love and humanity’s estate. Which thy lights would the kingly should presume, though I never more betters? In a second object was

to the Mind, as if in doubt if the infinities of this fortification was made all in vain: in pity then worst, I say.

               Stanza XVI

Love’s not a dawn in eastern skies. And what we call fading’ martial exercise? Each blessed souls in pain, with a bitter look, some slight glances

past us Veil’d—but ever person! He does diddly. Though Mars no doubt, no doubt why, arriving on her: for thou deserve to go.

               Stanza XVII

The light that the hardly knowledge was no Caesar’s Commentaries! They stretched stalks of disappointment the Mind, with the summer and the

children gone, let my books is not your harvests cling crimson leaves among, there is the spur inspire me, no one to cry; for we will come.

               Stanza XVIII

To leave us on our ears the ill; I have a noose about the shadowes your mind. When before us seemed lightly, both juan and

the ruby-budded lime in like men! How many blisse, and a sweatshirt and spacious, and none a word may say. The column yet remain.

               Stanza XIX

From thee so far from an infinities of lilies, better faith! Whole army, like a merry masquerade. Only to draw them not

with blood the pangs there were at stake; but the shriller scream. Might; then melted down by yon stream embrace of my face. I’m always and again.

               Stanza XX

We waited for tear the wound about you to know what he begot him. It feels! The Moslem, too, Beauty to fulfil: just as you listen,

so leave the ice; in temperate love in a second time, vague and dumb: but each hath one, and is extinguish’d strange things of neon.

               Stanza XXI

Dark sea-line looking now you how, hand on the third is neither fair she-world, and nought. Half-asleep tinkle homeward thro’ the living as

warrior in the mob at last, captives just whatever did they fell as thought the Thief to Paradise; and Jack on his head of healing.

               Stanza XXII

The gracious is a pass o’er young, I’m o’er young, I’m fley’d it mak me eerie, sir. And all are long. Lovely Polly Stewart, there rises

like a God’s, have wept: so we—the fool, the treason; they betray’d my libertie?—Middle of the breath most sweet babes must be ridiculous.

               Stanza XXIII

Like all other he heed it or nothing. Into wail succeeded in order’d it, although I was gone, and warms: this is: if I lookt

in a sheet of lead make a lattice wrought here the crimson leaves on high nor even Diogenes. He is but a mouse, dumbe Sleepers’ den?

               Stanza XXIV

The loved him we would like a lion from her; or let her golden chaine the offer for my sake wad gladly seekes to weapons: match’d

with a kingdomes gaining instead, ever ready to slander’s gone. Glory of many more than she ought for ever in London!

               Stanza XXV

To enter your severall Shape. The Prince de Ligne have a noose about the boils of silvers o’er young, I’m o’er you in saying not she

knew to be circling inside their foes hurling defiance trumpet blow; threates, if we scan a field or river: our echoes, dying.

               Stanza XXVI

With that beauties yet unborn: first starf, and friend, we trust to alter the conflict o’er, vibrate to the sea. The world, each day—no hero

trusteth wholly to mine eyes are not just once again, as if its sound asleep: so thou, being six foot high, heroic on a charge!

               Stanza XXVII

I bear, and then all the most classic Angel speak contract? Man’s look, pain, pleasure, be it ill or well. Back to thyself the same heard your

nipple; paps tractable as udders were erected there had worn them in up to dry and thy death that Boy, proue, but when I venture!

               Stanza XXVIII

They circled Iris of all your thousands of wedded love me at them; I cannot choose, and why from your feature, as on a slothful

shore, and walked no more than hinds, and here on the Muezzin’s cal to pray, how we pronounce, say, lichen, and his guide. He did not envy her.

               Stanza XXIX

In the expense of your eyes did not wring his soul at once more I gained. Made it stir on thy face the air beneath his javelin wounded

Allah! The lakes, she loves I have fifty rubles round him good quarters her inward, and sighing people drinking of each other’s death.

[lostbbygorl]

FATE AND HATE: EREN YEAGER X READER (PART 4)

A/N: BEHOLD THE LONGEST CHAP IVE WRITTEN AND MY FAVORITE ONE SO FAR AAAHHH

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SYNOPSIS: Vinnie and Elijah reach a new stage in their friendship (which might turn into more) while Emilia’s fight with Leo makes him realize he is capable of feeling fear and taking things seriously. Eren starts nearing success with Y/N, but there’s far more bonding he has to do with Elijah… 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Eren slammed the door shut behind him, his eyes running over every detail in Y/N’s house.

“Thanks for inviting me into your home” He absent mindedly muttered, admiring Y/N’s taste in decorations and furniture.

“Mr. Yeager, you barged inside that taxi with me and entered my home uninvited” Y/N scoffed.

“Well, it’s a really pretty house,” He said honestly. Y/N’s house reflected the vibrancy in her soul and the grace she always carried herself with perfectly. The off white walls boasted antique paintings and baroque mirrors. In the living room, a faux fur rug, dark beige and woodish in color sat proudly in front of a large, soft gray sofa and one sofa bed. The glass coffee table on the rug had a vase of fresh pink roses and books stacked in order of thickness, all of it facing a wide screen television. Another faux fur rug of the same color but smaller area was put underneath the first step of the spiral staircase, with a wooden depiction of a pagan Greek god on each side.

But it was the moodboard of pictures of Elijah and Y/N that caught Eren’s eyes the most. A large, framed canvas with all the memories they made over the years pinned in place for them to fondly reminisce over every time they walked past it. There was little Elijah in Y/N’s arms the day she graduated law school, and the first holiday Y/N and Elijah went on overseas. There was Y/N’s 20th birthday when Elijah was a toddler with a cavity on his front milk teeth, and lots of photos of Elijah. Eren shifted his focus from Y/N’s beauty to the divine genes both of them had passed on to his son. He reminded Eren so much of himself. It was like seeing his middle school years through pictures again. The same excited, boyish smile, like he was genuinely happy but really didn’t want to take a picture at the moment. The same towering height and all the ease in the world. He talked so much like him. He acted so much like him. Now how could he get him to see that so they could get along? Elijah pretended Eren was the wind at school.

“That’s my favorite thing in the house” Y/N broke his train of thoughts. He turned around, pleasantly surprised that for the first time in a few days, her expression was dismissive, nonchalant, or angry. She was taking initiative to talk to him, and about something dear to her. He kept quiet as she strolled over beside him and gently traced the glass frame. She had a peaceful, faraway look on her face as her most cherished memories raced to the front of her mind with each glance at each picture.

“Eli grew up so fast” She whispered wistfully, staring at a picture of him when he was a baby.

“What was he like as a baby and just a young kid in general?” Eren asked, imagining himself in these pictures and as figments of these happy memories. A man can dream vividly of the things he had in his palms one second and in regrets the next.

“Oh, he was a handful,” Y/N softly chuckled.

“ He was quite clingy as well. That bit is still there to this day. The tiniest sounds woke him up and sometimes he’d stay up till 5 in the morning. But when he was calm, almost nothing could disturb his peace. He grew up to be such a good boy. Just what I wanted him to be” Y/N sniffled. Eren raised a brow at her eyes, which had glazed over.

“Oh shit I’m crying” Y/N tried to mask her emotions with a fake laugh as Eren shook his head.

“You mothers are so emotional” He tutted as he cupped her face, catching her by surprise. Y/N’s face was inches away from her own. His hands were warm and strong, and his swift thumbs wiped away the speck of a teardrop in a millisecond. Y/N regained her composure and attempted to get steely with him again.

“Why am I even telling you all this?” She frowned, playing with the bronze button of her mauve blazer.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry” Eren apologized again, every inch of his heart stitched into the syllables he spoke, and every excruciating bit of his regret dancing in those two emerald labyrinths of his. Y/N hated it, but she felt herself caving. She was confused. Was it love or forgiveness? Whatever it was, it was her internal demon to battle with, and a prize that he’d die attempting to win.

Eren sighed and untied his bun as the silence echoed in his ears.

“ That kiss was amazing,” He said.

“It was to get Floch to leave me alone” Y/N shook her head, plopping down on the sofa.

“Really?” Eren asked, joining her.

“Affirmative” Y/N nodded like an army officer.

“ No feeling behind it at all?” Eren pouted.

“Nope” Y/N shook her head once more.

“Then,” Eren said as he inched himself closer to her body, “why do you still have the other key locket I gave you more than 10 years ago around your neck?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Vinnie, come on now, you know I can’t do that” Elijah chuckled incredulously at his best friend’s comment.

“ Look, you don’t have to be best mates with the guy. But he is your father and he is back in your life. There’s gotta be something you can say to him, right?” Vinnie rested his head on the pillow next to Elijah’s, and the two boys stared at the ceiling.

“ It’s just ever since he came back I feel like my mental peace flew out the damn window. And it’s not helping that mom’s workload has been so shitty nowadays” Elijah grumbled.

“ I get it, dude. It’ll all get better. And don’t kill me for saying this, but I don’t think Mr. Yeager has a bad heart or a mean nature, and I feel like he’s actually really sorry and trying to change. If you can give the guy a chance, do it” Vinnie patiently explained.

“ To hell with him” Elijah turned over to the right to face the wall. Vinnie stared at Elijah’s back longingly. Elijah with the sunshine beam. Elijah with contagious laugh. Just Elijah. His best friend Elijah who he wanted to kiss more than anything in this world.

Elijah turned to face Vinnie again. Vinnie with his thick accent that was just so fun to mock. Vinnie with the sleeping habits of a 60-year-old. Vinnie with his head up in the clouds whenever he pleased. Just Vinnie, who he wanted only for himself.

“When will Leo and Emilia get here?” Vinnie reached for his phone meaning to contact them. He didn’t need to, because as soon as he unlocked his phone, a cacophony of insults and blames ricocheted off the walls of the house. Leo harshly opened the door to Vinnie’s room, and Emilia haughtily stormed in, throwing her black purse to the bed and facing the taller boy again, matching the ferocity of his voice with her feline glower.

“ I’m just saying that was a stupid ass desicion” Leo threw his hands to the sky.

“ And I’m saying nobody fucking asked you. What do you know about dating anyways?” Emilia crossed her arms. Leo let out a humorless laugh as he watched the expressions of the two other boys in the room and pointed at Emilia.

“ Can you believe this bitch?” He grimaced. Emilia rolled her amber eyes.

“ What’s going on?” Vinnie asked.

“ Leo’s being a twit because Desmond Waverly asked me out on a date this weekend and Desmond doesn’t pass his vibe check or something”

“ None of us like Desmond in this group, Emilia. He was being a cunt at that party of yours and he still is. I overheard him talk about banging Ernest Niles and Josephine Delton’s daughter that day so whatever he has interest in isn’t you for who you are. You’re making the mistake of a century here, Em”

“ Yeah and that was 2 years ago he’s changed”

“ Assholes like him never do”

“ Everybody, calm down,” Vinnie exclaimed. Elijah beckoned Leo over to sit beside him on the bed.

“ Emilia, are you sure about Desmond?” Elijah asked.

“ Yes! And like it’s one date. What’s the harm in one fucking date? It’s not like we’re considering marriage” Emilia threw her head back in frustration.

“ Oh, naw! Don’t even say the word ‘marriage’” Leo shook his head.

“ Oh my god, Leo you’re totally insufferable” Emilia scoffed.

“ You heard that comment too, and you’re still going on a date with him” Leo scoffed back.

“ He was really sorry about that, you know. Trust me, Leonardo, he’s changed. Just one date, and if we don’t connect that well, it’ll be just that, okay?” Emilia tried to console both herself and her friend. But Leo wouldn’t stop shaking his head.

“ Leo, your head is gonna roll on this floor if you don’t stop that” Elijah nervously chuckled. He tried to put an arm around the ginger, only to have it roughly flung off. Leo got up from the bed, and instinctively, Vinnie and Elijah followed.

“ You know what, Emilia, go. Go on a date with the motherfucker who openly talked about wanting to fuck you because your mom’s a supermodel and your dad a rap star. You always were a shallow fucking bitch, you know that? You only said yes to Desmond cuz of his perfect collarbones and cuz he’s such a good pigeon hunter or whatever the fuck yall old money people do” Leo was fuming. Emilia went as pale as a ghost, her french manicured hands trembling like a leaf in autumn, and her glossed lip mimicking those hands. Emilia took shaky breaths, looking anywhere but at Leo’s rage stricken face.

“ Leo, apologize to her right now,” Vinnie ordered. Leo looked at Emilia and saw what he had been seeing for around a month now. Emilia with a shining aura that nobody else had, always in her best colors, a magnet with amber eyes and the highlight of his day. He didn’t know what she was, but she definitely wasn’t fit for a snake like Desmond Waverly, and the displeasure on her face definitely wasn’t something he could laugh at or tease. It wasn’t cute, it made him feel like trash. But Leo was Leo, and maybe that’s why Emilia opted for Desmond.

“ I don’t feel too well right now. I’ll call my driver. I’ll text you later, Vin. Bye” Emilia couldn’t help the tears now.

“ Hey hey hey, you just got here. You'll be better by the end of the night. It’s no fun without you” Vinnie tried cooing her back, but Emilia was stubborn.

“ Not all of you” she said hoarsely, the golden chains of her purse clinking as she snatched it from the bed. Her screen illuminated her face as she began texting her driver, and Leo wished it hadn’t. He didn’t need the goddamn phone screen to alert him that he made her tear up.

“ Nelson’s gonna be here in 5 minutes. Vinnie, can I have something to drink?” She sniffled.

“ Be right back with your drink, Em”. Elijah followed Vinnie to the kitchen. Emilia left the room to go to the bathroom shortly afterwards, leaving Leo alone in the room with his feelings.

“ Oh my god, who pissed in Leo’s breakfast?” Elijah grimaced, reaching for a cup.

“ You know what I think?” Vinnie opened the fridge.

“ What?”

“ Leo is jealous”

“ You sure? I mean you think she’s his type?”

“ Just a hunch. I saw their interactions lately and I don’t know about her, but he’s got the la vie en rose for Em or my name isn’t Vincent. He’s both protective of her and jealous of Desmond. And if that’s not right, well, they’d be a good match nonetheless”

“ And how long have you been shipping our best friends together, Englishman?”

“ I felt jealous when I saw Riley Zimmerman get closer with you last year, and she was a nice girl, but I’ve never been  so glad someone moved away” Vinnie suddenly gripped the cup tighter.

“ Vinnie, what did Riley ever do to you?” Elijah furrowed his brows.

“ This” Vinnie was on his tiptoes now, and Elijah’s lips were softer than he had dreamed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eren followed Y/N around like a baby duckling does to his mother. Eren with a victorious grin and Y/N with a humiliated rose flush.

“ Out of my house, Yeager!” She exclaimed from the other side of the kitchen counter. That locket. She should’ve burned it 14 years ago, but the part of her that weakened for the man couldn't do it. Love was too strong a word. Love was what she once had for him, and she couldn’t allow love to show its painfully pretty face at her doorstep again.

He ruined her nights and he pierced her trust. He robbed her of her smile and he deserted her. But in those last moments, she still needed a souvenir to keep her going and keep whatever part of him that wasn’t stoned to death alive. Perhaps because she refused to see him as a villain and sought to excuse his crime, or because love is immortal. But all these years, through the curses and cries, through the hurt unforgiven, through the bitterness and promise of any of his traits being passed to his son, the locket dangled around her neck close to her heart. A secret exposed.

“ You kept the locket,” Eren said again. Defeated, Y/N fetched a huge bottle of wine from the fridge and popped it open. She took a long sip.

“ I did”

“ Why?”

“ I don’t know”

“ Come on, there has to be a more profound reason” Eren pressed on.

Y/N took another sip. And another sip. And another sip.

“ You’ll get alcohol poisoning at this rate,” Eren said worriedly. In a flash, he jumped over the kitchen counter next to Y/N, who jerked the bottle away from his hand.

“Give me the bottle”

“ Fuck off”

“Give me the bottle”

“ Fuck off”

“ Okay, tell me why you kept the locket” Eren crossed his arms.

Y/N tried to ignore him, but he moved in front of her. She set the bottle on the counter.

“ Because even after that day you basically shunned me from your life, for a hot minute, I still loved you” Y/N admitted, unable to make eye contact with the man. Hope rose in Eren’s chest again.

“ Really?” He breathed, blinking rapidly in surprise. Y/N nodded with her head facing the ground.

“ Don’t get any ideas, Yeager. I’m still resisting the urge to murder you. That was years ago” Y/N warned him.

“ And you didn’t throw away the locket even after you supposedly lost feelings for me” Eren fixed his eyes on the locket. Y/N was speechless again.

“ So I see you after 14 years and your actions don’t add up with your words because you hate me sooo much but you still have the other piece of a jewelry set. Y/N, it really doesn’t have to be so hard. If you can just sit down and talk with me properly we could do so much. We could be so good. I believe we’re meant to be”

“ Beliefs really do change over the years don’t they” Y/N snickered, taking another sip of the wine.

“ You don’t think you can ever forgive me again?” Eren asked, fearing the answer. The alcohol had made Y/N’s guard go down, so she answered honestly and not spitefully.

“ I don’t know, maybe. You hurt me but I can’t really throw you out again, now can I?”

Eren began downing the wine now. How did they get so deep again? It started out with her going down memory lane. Maybe tonight wasn’t the night for all the emotional talk. That could wait. After all, one of the quickest ways to win a woman over was humor, right?

“ Well, no, darling. Don’t throw me out! Please don’t. I really like MILFs and you’re the finest MILF in this city” Eren playfully pouted, catching Y/N off guard.

“ What the hell?” She cackled. There it was. That sound again. So full of life and mirth. Unstoppable. She bent over her knee and slapped the counter laughing at his joke. She didn’t care how easy she seemed. 

“ Well then that makes you a DILF” She laughed. Eren tested the waters by putting his hand on her shoulder, and she didn’t jerk it off.

The door opened, and in walked Elijah. The laughter halted.

Elijah silently observed his parents, who were nervously observing him. For a split second, the house seemed like a real family. With a mother and father who teased each other at the kitchen counter. He relished in seeing his mother laugh, it was the man beside him that spoiled his mood. His father.

“ Mom, what’s he doing here?” Elijah pointed his chin at Eren.

“ Nothing, actually. He kinda just followed me here. It’s not that serious. Besides, he’s leaving now. Mr. Yeager, farewell to you” Y/N cleared her throat.

“ Are you stalking my mother? Oh my god. You know what? I don’t have time for this right now or for this guy. I’m having a great day and you can’t ruin it. I’m going up to my room”.

Eren watched Elijah storm up the stairs.

“ Y/N?”

Y/N hummed in response.

“ You might not like this, but you know despite everything, I love Elijah and I would never dream of hurting him. Don’t you think it’s time I have a little heart to heart with him, a father to a son?”

“ I can’t disagree with that. I can;t put up a front today, Yeager”

“ Thank you”.

Eren rushed up the stairs, anxiety in his veins and hope in his heart. Elijah’s room was cracked open. Eren saw a ragdoll stroll out of the door. With a deep breath, he tentatively opened the door, and then closed it shut behind him.

Elijah sat up on his bed, defensive instincts manifesting in the form of clenched fists as he glared at his dad.

“ It’s time we have a heart to heart, son” Eren pulled the rolling chair from Elijah’s desk and sat down on it.

“ You hate me. You want me gone from your life. Your anger is understandable. But nonetheless, I’m your father and I’m back. The situation is still unclear and everyone is an emotional wreck, you’re taking the hardest hit. We need to talk. Rationally too”.

[jellybeandrawsthings]

☹️hi i dont usually do this thing where i ask for art/thoughts on things but ive had a super bad day and i was just curious as to what your take on your wounded-on-krypton Kara would be doing with Lena if she hadn't of come out as Supergirl but they still met and fell in love- would Kara just be floating around Lena's apartment during quarantine listening to Lena read books and making her gf tea's and flying out to get her her supplies so Lena would stay safe from getting sick? I really love your art.

aww, I'm sorry u had a bad day, I made a little doodle and tried writing a little story for it as well that should answear your queastion about my scarred!Kara and her relationship with Lena if she didn’t became Supergirl (tho I'm not a writer, so its quality might not be the best)  hopefully it will make u feel even just a little bit better

The first time she met Lena, Kara was going to L-Corp to get a prosthetic replacement from their new Cybernetic Futures program since she kind of destroyed her old one.

Okay, she definitely destroyed her old one, but to be fair, who knew kicking a cement boulder with a prosthetic leg made from human metals but with the force of an angry and very frustrated superpowered being would destroy said metal leg. Really, who could've predicted that?

Walking into the building with warm coffee in hand proved to be more difficult than Kara hoped, her busted prosthetic making her wobble every two steps since she didn't have a spare she could wear - this was the spare - and the slippery tiled floor didn't help. Making her way to the elevator she kept glancing down focusing on her steps, this meant she didn't notice when a woman absorbed in her phone walked straight into her path. On instinct, she relaxed her body as to not harm the human she collided with, unfortunately, that meant she lost her barely-there, to begin with, balance and was sent sprawling onto the floor and her coffee splashing straight at the woman's shirt. Perfect. Just what she needed today.

She had an apology already forming on her lips when she looked up and for the first time noticed the woman, no, the goddess she bumped into. Her hair was black, but when it caught the light it shone deep chestnut brown and cascading down her back, her skin was pale and looked so soft Kara found herself wanting to touch it, her fingers twitching at her sides. The woman's eyes were green, though her right eye seemed to be two shades lighter, more gray than green. She wasn't looking at her currently occupied with taking in the state of her clothes. And Rao, her clothes. The outfit was that of a businesswoman, high heels ready to kill, dark burgundy slacks with a matching suit jacket, loose black tie, and a white shirt. A white shirt that was now covered in Kara's coffee. Oh no. She needed to fix this, like, immediately. The best place to start is with an apology, right?

———————

Lena was having a pretty normal day, all things considered. She should have known her days are never normal. She woke up early, ate a small breakfast, and went to work. There she had meetings with investors from 8 to 11, some paperwork to sign, a small meeting with the head of R&D at 12, and now she finally had enough time to take a break and maybe grab some lunch. With a certain sandwich place in mind, she made her way down to the ground floor and, while answering some last-minute e-mail made her way to the exit of the building.

Before she could even make it halfway to the wide double door, she felt something surprisingly solid and at the same time very wobbly bump into her, and then a sudden warmth and wetness on her chest. Looking down at herself confirmed what she already suspected, someone, spilled coffee on her. Thankfully it was only warm and not scalding hot the last thing she needed right now was dealing with coffee-induced burns. Making sure her shirt was the only thing damaged in the incident, Lena paid no mind to the person who bumped into her, that is until a very apologetic voice started talking to her. From the floor. Looking away from her ruined shirt, she took in the person frantically trying to apologize for spilling coffee on her, at least that's what she thinks the woman was trying to do, seeing as at his point she was rambling a mile a minute.

The woman on the floor looked young, probably around the same age as Lena herself, she had blond wavy hair gathered in a messy ponytail and hidden behind cute square-framed glasses, the bluest eyes she has ever seen. There was a burn scar covering most of the left side of her face and neck and more peeking out from under her shirt. Her left leg ended right below the knee, and the prosthetic she was wearing looked like someone put it under an industrial press and then tried to put it back into shape with a hammer. She was wearing blue sneakers, jean shorts, and a yellow tank top with tiny rainbow dinosaurs on it that gave her an unobscured view of the rippling muscles in her arms as she gesticulated wildly still rambling out something resembling an apology.

Taking it all in Lena came to one conclusion. She's cute. And so with warm coffee drying on her chest and a beautiful woman at her feet, really what else was there for Lena to do other than ask the blonde out on a date.

———————

They moved in together after a year of dating. Alex asked if they were sure, but there wasn't a doubt in their minds that this was what they wanted. It felt right. And they were glad for this decision since a few months later, they and most of the world's population were confined to their homes.

Days in quarantine were spent working from home on their laptops with their legs entwined together and sharing a blanket out of the view of the cameras. When they weren't working they were finding new ways to entertain themselves. Slowly making their way through the classics of fantasy and sci-fi literature, with Kara floating them above the couch and Lena laying on top of her chest reading aloud from her Kindle was how they were spending most of the evenings. During the weekends when there was less work, Lena tried to teach Kara how to bake - with mixed results - and Kara made it her mission to recreate as many childhood experiences Lena missed out on living with the Luthors as possible. Her blanket fort wasn't the most structurally sound, but it sure was cozy. Movie nights were a nightly routine, and cooking dinner together became the most sacred daily ritual neither of them dared or wanted to skip. Weekly game nights through zoom were initiated almost immediately after lockdown and to no one's surprise, Lena and Alex's competitiveness did not lessen with the development of not being in the same room. If anything it became worse. Bets about how long will it take for the two of them to start fighting and accusing each other of cheating were as much a tradition as game nights itself. Most days though were spent working and lounging together with Kara occasionally flying out to pick up supplies they needed. And when one day Kara flew through the balcony with two cats and a dog saying there wasn't enough space in shelters, who was Lena to refuse those cute puppy eyes (it didn't hurt that the dog and cats were adorable as well).

[luminnara]

It’s Been a Long, Long Time | Ch 6

Summary:  When HYDRA had their prized asset, the Winter Soldier, they did something no one ever thought was possible: they gave super soldier serum to an omega. With the sole purpose of tending to him during his ruts, she spends decades living in HYDRA facilities, denied her humanity and her life. Now, years later, Bucky Barnes has his mind and his own life back...and the last thing he ever expects is to see a familiar omega again. Bucky/OC, a little angsty but mostly smutty/fluffy/romantic!

Part One | ... | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven

Tags:  @kyrah-williams @oceanmermaidwitch @shawnie--jo @super-cape @ferxaniti @namjoonwatcheshentai @fandomsstolemylife00 @youngblood199456 @nightlygiggless @darlingely @ bluemoon-icecream @kaz11283 @jenjen8675309 @dollfacev8 @witchinpractice @mystical-b3ar @sukeraa

Bucky refused to leave the omega’s side while she stayed in the lab. Bruce had to stop him from trying to crawl onto the bed with her, and after about the third time, he convinced the super soldier to just pull up a chair like a civilized person and hold her hand while she drifted off to sleep again. Now that she was with her alpha, she had settled down for another nap, more interested in resting than answering any more questions so long as Bucky stayed and kept an eye on her. 

Steve had to admit, it was endearing. He had never seen his friend so absolutely enraptured like this. Whenever the omega, or Ten, as Bruce was still calling her, shifted in her sleep, Bucky’s eyes were snapping over to make sure that she was okay. Whenever she let out a little whimper, he was purring and stroking her hair. Whenever she seemed like she might wake up again, his attention was completely on her.

“So...sure you don’t remember her?” Steve asked, pulling up a chair. He had left for a few hours to work out, and after a lack of updates from FRIDAY, he headed back down to check on everything. They were exactly as he had left them, which was a good sign. At least nothing was getting out of hand. 

Yet.

Bucky shrugged, rubbing the back of the omega’s hand with his thumb. “I dunno. It’s...foggy.”

“Well, it seems to me like you’ve either got a history together, or she’s mistaking you for someone else.” Steve said. “Quite frankly, it’s hard to do the latter.”

“I’ve dreamt of her.” Bucky said quietly. 

“...what?”

“It’s not much, but...I’ve seen her face.” Bucky looked down at her. “I think that no matter how many times HYDRA wiped my memory, she’s always been in there. Kinda like the one constant that was always around, the one thing I could always count on being in the base with me.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Steve asked.

“Never knew if she was real or not.” Bucky sighed. “I thought...maybe she was just something my mind made up to fill some of the gaps. But she smells exactly like I remember.”

Steve sat back in his chair, his arms crossed over his chest as he watched his friend. Bucky wasn’t snarling anymore, most of his attention trained on the omega while she slept. Now that he was close to her, he had calmed down significantly, though he still wouldn’t let Steve within five feet of her bed. 

“Just got off the phone with Tony,” Bruce announced, walking in. “He and Pepper will be back tonight. Pepper’s having some clothes and personal items delivered for our new omega friend here. They also asked about renovating a more permanent room for her, but I, uh...told them I wasn’t exactly sure what the situation would be.”

“She’s staying with me,” Bucky said immediately. 

“Now hang on, hang on,” Steve leaned forward. 

“Steve,” Bucky growled. “I want her with me.”

“Buck, you don’t even know her—“

Bucky interrupted him with a loud snarl, the omega in question whining and squirming in her sleep at the sound of it. 

He immediately shut up, brushing a thumb over her cheek and shushing her until she was sleeping soundly again. Fuck, he felt so stupid. What was wrong with him? She could have woken up, or been scared, or upset, all because he couldn’t keep his big mouth shut. She needed her rest, and he needed to stay quiet. 

Steve almost couldn’t believe what he was seeing. 

“Oh, Buck,” he shook his head. “You’re in deep.”

—

Amoretta woke feeling well rested, and it wasn’t until she tried to stretch and felt the tug of her IV drip that she remembered where she was. Opening her eyes revealed the bright lights of the lab, and as she started to sit up, a few faces came into view.

“Welcome back, Sleeping Beauty,” Bruce said. “How are you feelin’?”

She licked her lips. “Juice box. Now.”

“Way ahead of you. Had this one waiting as soon as you started waking up.” He tossed one to her and was pleased when her hand shot up to catch it. “Reflexes look good. Vitals are all reading normal. I’ll have to run another test to see what’s going on with those suppressants, but I’m willing to bet you’re metabolizing them fairly quickly now. How are you feeling?”

She pulled the little straw off the back of the carton and jammed it into the top. “Nauseous. Like usual.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Side effect of the suppressants?”

“Always has been. Other than that...I feel great, actually.”

“Well, as soon as these wear off, we can figure out something nicer and more modern for you. If you want to use them, I mean.” Bruce shrugged. “Your choice.”

She smiled. “Choice. I like that.”

“Hey, we’re all about independence here,” Steve said happily. He was glad to see she was awake, even though Bucky wasn’t.

The other alpha was still at her side, but, as of about half an hour ago, he was napping. Steve made a mental note to never let him forget the way he slept straight through the one moment he had been waiting for all day. 

“What time is it?” She asked. “There’s no windows in this damn place.”

“Just after dinner,” Bruce chuckled. “You slept most of the day. Bucky hasn’t left your side.”

She looked over to her soldier, smiling warmly at the sight of him sleeping. He was even snoring softly. “I haven’t gotten to see this in forty years.”

“Did you two, uh…” Steve cleared his throat. “Spend a lot of time together?”

The omega laughed. “You always this awkward around girls?”

“That’s not—“

“Relax, I’m just giving you a hard time.” She sucked on her straw. “But...yeah, we did.”

“So...you were just kept for his ruts, or…” Steve was so awkward it was almost endearing. “I’m sorry, that came out wrong. I think.”

“It’s okay. I know my lot in life.” She kept her eyes trained on Bucky as she spoke. “But if I’m going to answer more questions, I want to get out of this bed. And I want real clothes. Then I’ll talk.”

And so, only several minutes later, Bruce was handing her a sweater and some shorts he had grabbed from a little stash of extra clothing, and Bucky was startled awake by Ten stepping past him. She was finally free from all the tubes and cords that had been sticking out of her during her little hospital stay, and she was all too eager now to explore the tower.

She stood on wobbly legs, almost falling onto him when she tried to take a step. Bucky was up in a flash, ready to catch her, and as she fell against his chest, he wrapped his arms around her. Despite just waking up, he felt fully alert, completely ready to tend to his omega’s every need. 

His omega...he liked that train of thought. 

“We can head up to the common area. It should still be quiet.” Steve said, leading the way out. 

Bucky kept an arm around his omega’s waist as they followed, Bruce bringing up the rear. He wanted to be touching her at all times, constantly in contact so that he couldn’t lose track of her. His instincts were roaring to life, demanding that he do everything in his power to make sure that she was safe and in his line of sight. The elevator ride was tense and full of possessive growling, Bucky constantly shoving Ten behind him to keep her in the corner and as far away from Steve as possible, and everyone breathed a sigh of relief when the doors slid open and they could step out of the cramped space again. 

The common area was empty, thankfully, FRIDAY informing them that the other Avengers were all either working out or in their private quarters. 

“Good,” Steve said, heading towards the couches. “No interruptions. Got it, FRIDAY?”

“Understood, Captain Rogers.”

“C’mere,” Bucky mumbled, pulling his omega down to sit on one of the couches with him. Part of him was feeling a little sheepish and self conscious of his behavior...but the rest of him didn’t give a shit. The others could stare and shake their heads all they wanted, but he’d be damned if he let Ten slip through his fingers again. 

Or whatever her name was. 

Steve and Bruce sat across from them, making sure that they left as much space as possible between themselves and the new omega. Neither of them had ever seen Bucky behaving quite like this--he was on guard, hyper aware of everything around him. He made sure that she was pressed up against his side, an arm draped possessively over the back of the couch so that it was unmistakable that she was with him.

Christ, what had gotten into him? He couldn’t remember ever acting this way about an omega before. 

“So…” Steve cleared his throat, sitting with his elbows resting on his knees.

Bucky didn’t really like the way his posture made him lean forward towards his omega, but he could deal with it for now. “So.”

“What do you wanna know?” Ten asked, plucking at Bucky’s shirt. She seemed to be even clingier with him than he was with her, perfectly happy to be hanging off him or tucked up against his side. “You met my demands. I guess I’m an open book now.”

“I don’t want to overstep my bounds,” Steve said. “We just need to know as much as you’re willing to share.”

“Then ask a question.”

“...Alright.” he cleared his throat again. “You said HYDRA used you to help with Bucky’s ruts?”

Ten nodded, her expression remaining even and cool. 

“Could you tell us more about that?” Steve glanced at Bucky. “Were there ever any other omegas, or anyone we should know about?”

“There were omegas before me.” she answered. “When I first got to the compound, there were a lot of us. They kept us all in big cells, so everyone talked. People said things about how HYDRA was grabbing omegas off the street for their super soldiers, and how the one at our base was the biggest and scariest.”

Bruce raised an eyebrow at her tone. He wasn’t exactly sure what he expected her to sound like while she regaled them with her life story, but he definitely thought there would be a tad bit more apprehension in her voice. She seemed proud of herself, and more matter-of-fact than a lot of omegas would be while talking about their alpha’s previous partners. Or...whatever you called prisoners whose only purpose was to help during ruts.

“And I bet he was,” she sighed, leaning her cheek on Bucky’s chest and looking up at him adoringly. 

“Well, I don’t know about that…” Bucky said, an almost shy smile on his lips. And...was he actually blushing?

Steve was going to lose his mind. 

“You said the other omegas couldn’t handle it? That’s why you were given the serum?” he prompted, trying to keep them on track before he drowned in the sticky sweetness of her happy pheromones. 

“Right.” she turned her attention back to Steve and Bucky let out a quiet huff. “HYDRA didn’t really like to take care of us. And the soldier--I mean, Bucky--would wear them out. So...HYDRA would just kind of let them go. Or put them down, maybe. I never saw it.”

Bucky’s expression dropped. His blush was gone, and he almost looked like he was going to be sick as he listened to her talk.

“But it wasn’t his fault,” she said quickly, glancing between him and Steve. “I don’t think it was ever on purpose, you were just...demanding.”

He gave a groan, leaning his head back against the couch. “You don’t have to sugarcoat it, doll. I’d rather know what I did, at this point.”

She offered a small shrug. “I don’t really remember it being that bad, but I don’t think I ever met you before they gave me the serum.”

“That’s something, at least.” he mumbled, dragging a hand down his face. 

“Why you?” Steve asked. “Did you have any prior military experience, any ties to something the others didn’t?”

“No.” she laughed. “I never even got in fights before HYDRA.”

“Then why’d they use such an important resource on you, specifically? Not trying to take a dig at you, it’s just...well, omegas don’t usually…”

“I know,” she said. “Omegas aren’t supposed to be tough, right? That’s why they only ever let alphas become super soldiers.”

“That’s not what I…” Steve trailed off and then sighed. “Sorry.”

“I told you, they gave me the serum so that I would be strong enough to hold my own. It also ensured I would always be around, no matter how many years passed.” Her fingers found Bucky’s free hand and she took it, absentmindedly playing with the smooth vibranium knuckles. “Having me as a constant meant they could stop spending so much time and effort on always having a new omega around for him. Plus…well, I wasn’t really there, but I heard something about it once…”

“What?” Bucky asked. 

“They let you choose who was going to become your omega.” She said, looking up at him. “They gave you a bunch of scents, and you chose mine. I guess it was the only reason they didn’t, uh...humanely euthanize me.”

His eyes were wide. The thought of HYDRA killing his omega brought a low growl to his throat, his chest rumbling with the vibrations of it. “No.”

“Well, clearly they didn’t!” She said brightly. “My file said I was a kicker.”

“So they gave you, an already aggressive omega, the serum, but never gave you any trigger words or fished around in your brain?” Bruce shook his head. “Surprisingly sloppy, considering who they are.”

“It’s not like they ever sent me out into the world. I stayed in my cell all day, unless I was needed for a rut. Then I went and stayed in a different cell.” She sighed. “And if they ever needed to, they could just use the alpha to grab me.”

Bucky clearly didn’t like the thought of that. He made a frustrated sound, leaning his head back again. “Great.”

“It was never bad.” She let go of his hand, moving her fingers to cup his jaw. “You never hurt me. You wouldn’t. Sometimes, when I acted up, they would make you go retrieve me, because they knew you were the only one who could do it. If they didn’t send you, they would just knock me out.”

“So...that was it?” Steve asked. “Ruts, serum, cryo?”

“For thirty years!” She chirped. “The last time they froze me, they were freezing him, too. They always tried to keep us in cryo at the same time so that I could be thawed out and ready when he needed me. But...I guess they just...left me there?” She frowned. 

“See, that’s what I’ve been trying to figure out.” Steve said. “I didn’t see any signs of a struggle at that base. I’d say they left in an orderly fashion, but the fact that they didn’t take you along makes me think they were in more of a hurry than they made it seem.”

“Natasha might have a better idea,” Bruce suggested. “We can talk to her, try to figure out—“

“FRIDAY, open the damn door or so help me God I will rewrite your entire personality.” A voice interrupted from the other side of the door. 

“I’m sorry, Tony, but Captain Rogers asked me not to.” The AI said. 

“Well, is it an emergency?” The man scoffed.

“No emergency measures have been executed. No security breaches have been identified.”

“Then I’m sorry, but Captain Rogers does not outrank me when it comes to my own robots. Open the door, beautiful.”

She seemed to sigh. “Very well, Mr. Stark.”

Ten perked up, leaning forward slightly. She was watching the door curiously, tilting her head a little when she heard it slide open. Bucky rolled his eyes, grumbling to himself quietly and pulling her up against his side as another alpha strode in. 

“Really? Having a party without me?” the man asked, a smooth, casual air about him as he walked in and looked at everyone on the couches. When his eyes landed on the omega cuddled up next to Bucky, he stopped. “Ah, is this our new guest?”

“Go away, Stark.” Bucky growled. He didn’t like how long the other man’s gaze was lingering on his omega, not when there weren’t any scars on her neck to show who she belonged to.

“Always such a charmer, Barnes.” Tony said, flopping down next to Steve. “Lovely to see you, too. Care to introduce me to your friend? ….No, you’d rather just snarl and forget your words? I knew you were old, but I didn’t realize you were actually a caveman.”

“Tony,” Bruce groaned. “Don’t aggravate him. Please.”

“Why not?” Tony leaned back against the cushions, completely at ease and totally happy to be pressing every one of Bucky’s buttons. 

“Are you Tony Stark?” Ten asked, wiggling out of Bucky’s grip to sit on the edge of their couch. 

Bucky caught her around the waist before she could get very far, though, and dragged her onto his lap. He loomed over her, sneering dangerously at Tony as the other alpha flashed a smile. 

“Bingo.” he said. 

“I never thought I’d meet a Stark,” she admitted. “I always heard about Stark Industries, but I lived too far away from any big cities to ever get to see any of his exhibitions.”

“Ah. You’re from my father’s time. Of course.” Tony shot a pointed glare in Bucky’s direction. “Seems like Bruce left out a few teensy weensy important details on the phone today.”

“Well, it’s been, uh...an ongoing learning experience.” Bruce said sheepishly. 

“Lots of developments, huh?” Tony raised an eyebrow. 

“You could say that.” Steve said under his breath. “We came up here so Ten could be more comfortable while we talk.”

“Oh yeah? What’re we talkin’ about?” Tony asked. 

“They were asking about my time with HYDRA,” she answered, cutting in before anyone else could. “And with...Bucky.”

Saying his name felt odd. Her tongue wasn’t used to it, and her mind wanted to call him alpha, or Winter Soldier. Bucky just seemed so…casual, such a strange thing to call a deadly super soldier. When she heard herself, though, she decided that she definitely didn’t hate it. 

Bucky’s heart gave a little leap at the sound of his name falling from her lips. He wanted her to say it over and over again, in whispers and in screams, for nobody else’s ears but his. 

“...Buck?” Steve asked, pulling him away from his thoughts. “You, uh, kinda zoned out there.”

It wasn’t until Bucky looked at Steve that he realized his eyes had been trained on the omega in his lap. “Yeah?”

“...Is this seriously how you’ve spent the past day and a half?” Tony asked. “Steve, I’m sorry, and I’m sure you’re just trying to be as helpful as you can be, like always, but I think you should let these two get a room.”

Steve looked at him incredulously. “Tony, really? I’m trying to get to the bottom of why exactly HYDRA would abandon the omega they pumped full of super soldier serum. They can get a room later—“

“Yeah, uh, wonder boy? I don’t think your pal is gonna last much longer before he tries to rip our heads off.” Tony nodded towards a very disgruntled Bucky. “You can resume your interrogation tomorrow, Cap.”

Steve looked to Bruce for help, but he only offered a small shrug and stood, heading towards the door. “He’s right, Steve. They deserve some alone time.”

“But—hey!” Steve protested as Bucky picked his omega up, striding past the two alphas sitting on the opposite couch. 

“Thanks for everything, Steve.” Bucky said over his shoulder. 

Ten squirmed, peeking around Bucky’s arm as she was carried away. “Bye, Mr. Stark!”

“Don’t look at him,” Bucky growled as they walked out the door. 

“Did his father really make hoverboards? I heard once that Howard was promising hoverboards—“

“No.” He said flatly. 

“...oh.” She huffed, slumping against him. “Where are we going?”

“My apartment.” Bucky stepped into the elevator, his grip still tight around her. 

The omega perked up. “You have a whole apartment?”

He puffed his chest out a little. “Course I do. Gotta have a nice place for you, don’t I?”

“So I can stay?” Her eyes were bright and happy. “I can stay there, with you, all the time? Not just when you rut?”

He felt a sad little pang in his heart. When he spoke again, his voice was low and soft. “Of course, sweetheart.”

Then, his eyes widened as he realized what he was saying. “I mean, uh...i-if you want to, that is. I know it’s fast and all, and maybe...would you rather have your own room? Or I can stay on the couch—“

“Bucky,” she cut him off with a laugh, a soft hand cupping his jaw. “You’ve been my alpha for seventy years. I’d say we’re actually moving pretty slow.”

His expression relaxed again, lips stretching into a small smile. “Right. Yeah. You’re right.”

They spent the rest of the elevator ride in comfortable silence, Bucky rubbing his scent glands all over her hair. He wanted to make sure that the next time they encountered anyone else, she smelled exactly like him.

Like her alpha.

When the elevator came to a gentle stop at Bucky’s floor, the doors opened, and he stepped out in front of his apartment door. It opened for him, having already scanned his biometrics, revealing a small, but cozy, living room. 

He set his omega down on her feet, watching anxiously as she stepped into his quarters. Did she like it? Fuck, was it too small? It was too small. She probably hated it. Fuck, fuck, fuck...he had to salvage this somehow. 

“Well, uh…” shit, he sounded too nervous. He wanted her to think he was a strong, capable alpha. 

He cleared his throat for another start. “Welcome home, Omega.” 

Wait. That wasn’t right. Should he be calling her that? No, probably not, it sounded too possessive, too uncaring. He wished he just knew her fucking name, or something. 

“I mean…Ten?”

Shit, he sounded so stupid. He wanted to impress her, not...do whatever this was.

She just laughed, though, turning and looking at him with those eyes that sparkled like starlight. “Amoretta. My name is Amoretta.”

[edna-skiffens]

The Best Medicine

Summary: You are in the hospital, but you can never sleep in hospitals. Good thing you have a very attractive night shift nurse who is willing to help out.

Word Count: 4.5K

Warnings: hospitals, light med talk, bad medical writing, fluff

A/N: Please ignore the plot holes or the fact that this isn’t the most realistic and also I know this isn’t how discharge works at the hospital.. It’s called fiction for a reason, darling. Also, I left the reason the reader is in the hospital open ended bc some of us may have medical conditions/reasons that we can attach to this, but if not I tried to keep it vague enough on purpose so that you can imagine whatever. Also if you like Nurse!Tom and have requests for him lmk bc i’m happy to write for him.

Toss and turn. Toss and turn. The routine was getting old. This was your third night in the hospital and sleep just wasn’t coming to you.

Maybe it was the medicine they had you on. Maybe it was the constant symphony of sounds and people passing in the hallway. Maybe it was because you weren’t at home in your own bed.

Maybe it was just because you were in the hospital.

You couldn’t be sure. What you were sure of is that you weren’t falling asleep anytime soon.

Feeling another presence in the room, you looked from the ceiling to the doorway where you saw Tom, one of the night shift nurses, standing cautiously.

“I didn’t wake you did I?” He asked as he eased his way inside.

“Nope.”

“So no sleep again, huh?”

“Nope.”

“Sorry darling. Let’s go ahead and get these vitals over with.” He took your blood pressure, oxygen levels, temperature and wrote it down in your chart. Putting the clipboard back on its hook at the end of the bed, he looked up at your tired face. “Okay. So now about that sleep. What do you think will help?”

“Not being in the hospital.”

He chuckled lightly while walking back towards your bedside.

“I know. You hate it here. You’ve made that very clear and I try not to take too much offense to it.” You let out a slight laugh and held back the fact that he was the best part of this whole experience. He almost made it worth it. “I’m sorry we can’t give you any sleeping medication. Do you think it’ll help if I talk to you?”

“You mean tell me bedtime stories?” You couldn’t help but tease him at the adorable suggestion, though it sent a swarm of butterflies off in your stomach.

“I was thinking more like bore you ‘till you fell asleep. But whatever works.”

“You’re the nurse. If you think it’ll help.” You both sat there smirking at each other for a moment. Something unspoken floating in the air between you two.

“Well, I need to finish my round of vitals first. I’ll come check on you when I’m done and if you’re still up we’ll see about those stories.”

“I’ll be here.”

About fifteen or twenty minutes later you heard a light tap on your door followed by “Still awake?”

“Always.”

“You up for a chat?” Tom asked as he made his way to the stool then rolled slightly closer to your bed.

“Got nothing better to do.” You teased again.

“Okay. Well you should probably lay down.”

“Oh. It’s going to be that kind of story, huh?” His laugh was so beautiful and you were happy you were the cause of it.

“No.” He corrected in between laughs “The goal is to get you to sleep. So sitting up won’t help.”

“Right. Right.”

“Well.. anything in particular you’d like to talk about?”

“Why did you choose to become a nurse?”

“Ahhh. Good question. So I actually went to an art school.” You couldn’t help the brief expression of surprise that crossed your face. “I know. Shocking. I did training specifically in dance and gymnastics and I loved it.”

“Wait, so what happened?” You asked, turning on your side to face him more comfortably.

“Well one day we were rehearsing for a show and I fell. Ruined my knee. Had to do physical therapy for months. I tried to get back into it, but it just wasn’t the same. However, through that process I learned a lot about medicine and the health side of things. It really turned me on to it. And when my Plan A got a bit messed up I thought ‘hey, this could work’. So far it’s treated me pretty well.”

You smiled at Tom, admiring his passion for his career and the determination he had to keep pushing after his accident. You enjoyed hearing him talk about it too. If you didn’t know any better you would say it was helping you relax.

“My story that boring?”

“Obviously.”

“Your sarcasm has no end.”

“Oh… goodness.. you thought that was sarcasm?”

Tom only laughed and shook his head the way he often did with you.

You may just have been his patient and he may have just been your nurse, but you both bonded. He kept you company and gave you comfort. In return, you kept him entertained during the quiet night shifts.

“I’m not going to sleep. I'm just resting my eyes. But still listening.” You told him as you nestled further into the hospital bed, trying to find a position that would make it comfortable.

“Okay, darling.” He grinned at you.

“Tell me more. What kind of-” You had to stop to yawn, “What kind of art stuff did you do?”

“Oh. Well, I was in a few musicals. I really enjoyed dancing. I did ballet ever since I was young and I love the control I have over my body. The tricks I can do with gymnastics or the turns and leaps. I mean I can’t do them to that level anymore, but I try to stay active.” He glanced up and noticed you hadn’t moved, “Are you still with me?”

“Mhm.” You barely respond.

“Okay. Well it was a performing arts school so we really were trained in many areas. We had classes in acting, singing, dancing, all of it. It was a lot of fun and I met my best friends there.”

Tom began telling stories about his time at school. Before he knew it, he lost himself and track of time. He looked back at you, quiet and still.

“Y/N?” You were finally asleep. “Goodnight, darling.” He whispered as he gently made his exit.

Because Tom worked the night shift, you never saw him when you woke in the morning. Instead, Tanya, a sweet nurse that felt like a big sister, or Linda, Nurse Ratched in the flesh, came in for morning vitals and meds.

You counted down the days until your release. Life in the hospital was pretty uneventful with the limit on visitors and limited activity. There’s only so many sitcoms one can take in a given timespan. The only thing that you really looked forward to each night was when Tom clocked in.

“Hi Y/N.”

“Hi Tom.” You would smile at each other.

“How are we feeling today?”

“Better. Ready to get out of here.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear you are feeling better and still ready to jailbreak.” He smiled while writing something down on your chart. “They should be bringing up your dinner tray soon and then I’ll bring by your evening meds after that.”

“Okay.”

“If you need me you know what to do.” He called to you before walking out the door.

You were disappointed when Shelley brought your evening meds by later. She was a nice enough nurse. She just wasn’t Tom.

You’d grown accustomed to mainly having him as your nurse during the evening shift. At first you weren’t sure if it was coincidence or on purpose, but after a few nights of staying up and talking, you grew closer to him. You saw less of the other nursing staff and more of Tom.

You tried not to build anything up in your head. You were sure everything he was doing was in his job description and a part of being a good nurse.

He would sneak you extra pudding cups from the cafeteria and bring you an extra heated blanket because you could never stay warm. If you needed a new IV, he held your hand to ease the anxiety. He kept you company and made you feel less alone in such a sterile and intimidating place. And when he noticed you had trouble sleeping he chose to sit with you to help you fall asleep. You couldn’t help the butterflies that built in your stomach.

It became a sort of routine. He checked on you during evening vitals, even if someone else was doing them, and you were always still awake. He would then come and sit with you and chat for a bit, telling you different stories until you eventually fell asleep.

Some nights when you were extra restless he would help you walk the halls.

“The doctors have to see you’re stable enough before you can be discharged. Plus, maybe it’ll tire you out.” He suggested.

He would help get your IV pole ready so you could walk with it. He helped you into your slippers and eased you out of bed after passing you your robe.

Walking the hall slowly, Tom knew he had to remain professional, yet he found a few excuses to graze his hand across your back to ‘steady you’ when you turned corners or he thought you were looking tired.

“It might take me a while to get back to my usual jogs in the park, huh?” You laughed in spite of yourself.

“You’ll get there. Baby steps.” He encouraged, as you turned around the Nurse’s Station. You missed the faces the other night shift nurses were giving you both, but Tom was sure to subtly flick them off. “So, do you like running?” He asked as you headed back towards your room.

Throughout your late nights together, he told you of his three younger brothers and his dog named Tessa. You spoke about what you would do when you were out of hospital. He talked about his friends and flatmates and the adventures they had. He told you many stories, but each morning when you woke up he was clocked out and the day shift nurses were there.

Tonight was your last night. You’re set to be discharged tomorrow and while you are ecstatic to go home, you’re going to miss one thing about this place.

“I bet you’re too excited to sleep tonight. I don’t know if my stories will even help.” Tom said as he sat down next to you.

You smiled up to him sweetly.

“What are you looking forward to the most once you get out of here?”

“Sleeping in my own bed.”

“Well that’s no surprise.” Tom laughed, a contagious sound making you giggle as well. “Isn’t there anything you’ll miss about this place?”

“Yeah.” He smiled “There’s one thing.”

“What’s that?” He asks.

“The pudding cups.”

“Ahh the pudding cups of course.” You giggled while fiddling with the IV line.

“They just don’t taste the same in the outside world.”

His smile grew wider as you giggled.

“No, but really. As much as I give this place grief and say I’m ready to get out of here - which I am,” You gave him a pointed look to which he held his hands up in mock surrender, fully believing you, “it hasn’t been too terribly awful I guess.”

“Oh, well, I’m glad we could make your stay not too terribly awful.. I guess.” He teased. “Do you have anything exciting to look forward to once you’re a free woman?”

“Nothing huge planned, really. The doctors did say to take it easy.”

“That’d be wise.”

“Yeah. I’ll just lay low for a while. My sister said she may try to come visit me though so that would be nice.”

“Oh that would be nice. She’s your older sister right?”

“Right. She moved away last year to be closer to her boyfriend.”

“Ah. Do you like him?”

“Sorry?”

“This boyfriend. Do you like him?”

“He’s alright, I suppose. He makes her happy.” Tom nodded along.

“And do you have a boyfriend that makes you happy?”

“N-No. No I don’t. Not at the moment.” You began fiddling with the IV cord again.

“No boyfriend or not a boyfriend that makes you happy?” He asked.

“Neither.”

“Well that’s a shame.” If the heart monitor was connected you would’ve been screwed. “I just mean someone needs to look after you once you get home. I hope this sister comes through for a visit. You’ve got to take it easy.”

“Oh I’ll be fine.”

“I’m sure you will be.” He smiled.

“How has your shift been tonight? Busy?” You asked, fighting back a yawn.

“A bit busier than usual. There was a slight emergency earlier which is why Shelley handed out meds tonight. Sorry I didn’t come around.”

“It’s alright. I know you have other patients.”

“Yeah, but none like you.” You were sure he said that to all of his patients. After all, you’ve heard similar lines ever since you went to the pediatrician as a child. But it still gave you butterflies.

“Are you getting sleepy?”

“A little. But it’s okay.” He gave you a pointed look but continued to talk anyway. “It’s the last night. One final request for storytime. Make it a good one.”

You thought for a moment before asking your question.

“Do you ever wish that life turned out differently? That you never had your accident and you could’ve followed your dreams to be a dancer?” You asked while turning on your side and getting more comfortable.

“Sometimes. At least, I used to. But I think I’ve accepted it now. And I really can’t see myself doing anything but this.” You nodded taking in his answer “I look at it this way. If it wasn’t for my injury then I never would’ve changed my career path and found my love for medicine. I never would have made so many of the friends I’ve made or the memories I’ve made. I never would have met you.” He finishes with a sweet smile.

“That’s a very positive way of looking at it.” You told him. “Be honest, are you a therapist during the day?” He laughed out loud.

“No. I’m not. I guess I’m a big believer in ‘everything happens for a reason’.” You nodded while covering a yawn.

“So I’ve been curious to ask you,” He began, “Do you usually have this much trouble sleeping? Because you can get help for that you know?” You smiled at him.

“What? I thought a night nurse talking to you was the cure?” Tom smirked and shook his head. “I’m kidding. No, I normally don’t. It’s just the stiff sheets and hospital sounds I think.”

“Darn hospital.” He rolled his eyes and joked. “So this time tomorrow you’ll be sound asleep in your own bed then?”

You knew it was meant to be a happy statement, but you were a little sad at the thought of not having any more late night chats with Tom.

“Yes. Thank God.” You forced a smile.

You felt another yawn coming and tried to hold it back. It was already past the usual time that you fell asleep.

Tom could tell you were exhausted so he launched into a story from nursing school, hoping to lull you to sleep.

You yawned your way through listening, trying to soak up every last moment with Tom. In the morning he wouldn’t be here. You’d leave and likely never see him again.

When he finished, your eyes were half open and he wondered how you were still awake. Or maybe why.

“Why are you fighting it? The point is to sleep. Give in.” He told you gently after another yawn.

You looked up at him, half asleep and rubbing your eyes, not finding the confidence to tell him the true reason you were trying to stay awake.

“I’m happy right now.”

He smiled down at you.

“I am too. But you need your sleep, darling.” You weren’t sure what to say and you didn’t have much energy left in you anyway. “How about this. I’ve probably been in here too long as it is. Let me go check in at the Nurse’s Station and then I’ll come back and check on you soon and see if you’re still awake okay?”

The thought that he was leaving gave you a sad feeling in your stomach. You tried to remind yourself that he was just your nurse. Nothing more.

“Okay.” You smiled at him, sleepily, while settling further into the bed.

He stood up and instead of walking towards the door he walked closer to you. He grabbed the thin, white hospital blanket and pulled it closer around your shoulders.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” He whispered before he walked to the door.

“Tom?” You called out just before he opened it. He turned around with an expectant look, “Thanks for everything.”

Even though the room was dim you could see his smile.

“You’re welcome, Y/N. Get some sleep.”

You don’t remember much after that. You don’t know if Tom came back to check on you. You just remember falling asleep with a smile on your face.

When you woke up the following morning it felt like any other morning in the hospital.

The hallways were much louder. Beeps, chatter, and phones were constant. The lights were brighter.

But you were quickly reminded that it wasn’t any other morning. You were going home today.

The door creaked open and Tanya, one of your regular daytime nurses, poked her head in.

“Oh good you’re up.” She made her way inside and over to the gloves. “How’d you sleep?”

“Pretty good. Thanks.” She gave you a smile, something hidden behind it.

“I’m sure.” She said quietly to herself. You gave her a questioning look. “Oh I just mean I’m sure you’re excited to get out of here.”

You nodded as she took your vitals one last time.

“Everything looks good. What do you say about getting this IV out?”

“I say that sounds amazing.”

She took it out and bandaged up your arm while informing you of how the morning would go.

“Dr. McCoy is making rounds now then he’ll be by soon to go over your discharge. You can get dressed whenever you’re ready. If you need help, buzz me. You’ll still have a breakfast tray come, but you don’t have to eat it.” She gave you a wink while taking off her gloves.

“Thanks Tanya.”

“Of course, sweetie. And in case I don’t see you before you go, you’ve been a wonderful patient. Take care of yourself.” You smiled at her as she left you to change into some leggings and a sweatshirt.

You were packing your remaining things into your bag when your doctor walked in.

“Y/N! How are we doing today?”

“We’re doing great because we’re going home.” You smiled while taking a seat to rest for a few minutes.

“I know you’re excited.” He laughed before explaining the conditions of your discharge. You had medicines to take, a follow up appointment, and strict instructions to rest for the next few weeks. After signing some forms he left you with a stack of papers. “Is someone coming to pick you up?”

“Yeah my neighbor should be here within an hour.”

“Sounds good. Don’t hesitate to call us or come back in if you have any trouble or questions.”

“Will do. Thanks.”

A few minutes after he left a nurse brought in your breakfast tray. There wasn’t much of a point for it but since your discharge wasn’t technically until 10:30 am you were still a patient during breakfast.

You took the pudding cup that you requested with every meal off the tray before sliding it away. Smiling to yourself, you tucked it away in your bag. All you had left to do was wait for 10:30.

Tanya came in to check on you again and told you to buzz the Nurse’s Station when you knew your ride was here. At 10:27 you had a text from your neighbor that they were out front in the pickup zone. So you hit the call button.

“Yes?” Linda, the scariest dayshift nurse, answered.

“Um hi. Tanya told me to buzz in when my ride was here so I could go down.”

“Okay we’ll be right in.”

Not even a minute later you heard your door open. Expecting to see Tanya or maybe even Linda you looked up.

An audible gasp left your lips when Tom stood in your doorway with a wheelchair.

“I hear someone needs a ride?” He smiled as he made his way closer to the bed.

“Tom. What are you still doing here?”

“I pulled a double.” You wanted to ask why, but decided against it. You were still in a little bit of shock from seeing him again. “If you’d rather I can go get Linda to walk you down?” He pointed back towards your door.

“No! No.. I’m just surprised s’all.”

“Well come on. I thought you’d be running out of this place once the clock hit 10:30.” Glancing up you saw it was now 10:34. Your neighbor is probably tired of waiting already.

You grabbed your discharge papers and reached for your bag when you heard, “I got it.” Smiling at him, you sat down in the wheelchair. Tom placed the bag around his shoulder and kicked the brakes off the chair. “Ready?” You nodded up at him.

He rolled you out of the room that felt so small for a final time. You passed the Nurse’s Station and waved bye to the staff. He turned by the elevators and when you looked up at him in question, he read your mind. Looked down at you he said, “We’re taking the staff elevators.”

When you made it there he hit the button, turning you around and backing you in once the doors opened. He hit the button for the Lobby and leaned up against the wall of the elevator, briefly glancing at you, as you rode down together.

“Well you made it. You’re a free woman.” He smiled shyly.

“Yippee.” He met your eyes for a moment before looking back to the floor. The dynamics felt different. It wasn’t like your late night talks together.

“Listen, Y/N.” Tom began as he stood up from the wall and faced you. He was about to continue when the elevator ding cut him off, signaling you had reached your destination.

Maybe that was what was different. You had reached your destination.

You had a fun time talking with Tom and entertaining each other when you were both up late at night. He was fun to get to know and you enjoyed having someone care for you. He was easy to banter with and certainly easy on the eyes. But your time at the hospital was up. You knew it would be eventually. You wanted it to be.

Tom was a nurse. He was just doing his job. He was helping take care of you. He was being nice. He was trying to make your stay more comfortable. There was nothing to read into.

Your time being his patient was up and your time with him was up.

You tried to remain realistic, but the sadness still crept up as he rolled you closer to the door.

Once outside, you saw your neighbor exit the car and wave you over. Tom steered in the direction and slowed before rolling to a stop and hitting the brake locks on the wheels.

“Hi, I’m Taylor.”

“Tom.” They shook hands as Tom passed off your bag for Taylor to put in the backseat.

“I’m sorry for the circumstances, but it really has been a pleasure having you as a patient and getting to know you, Y/N.” Tom admitted as he walked around to face you. He grabbed the papers from your lap. “Take care of yourself, okay?” You had shared many smiles with Tom, but this one felt sadder.

“I will. Thank you for everything, Tom. I mean it.” You reached up and squeezed his hand. He gave you a light squeeze back while smiling down at you. Taylor returned from the backseat of the car and Tom turned to them.

“These are her important papers about follow up appointments, medications, what to do at home, all of that so please make sure she doesn’t lose any of them.” He emphasized the point.

“Got it. Thanks.” Taylor held onto the stack while Tom turned back to you.

“If I can’t handle a few papers on my own, then maybe I shouldn’t be going home yet, Tom.” You laughed.

“I know, I just wanted to make sure they made it home with you.” He walked closer. “You ready to get in?”

“Yeah.” You nodded. He helped you up, supporting you just as a precaution. Once seated, you took a moment to catch your breath as you pulled the seatbelt down. He met your hand, taking it from you to buckle you in.

“You good?”

You nodded with a smile, “Just a little tired. No biggie.”

He looked you over before returning your smile, though his didn’t quite reach his eyes, “If you need us, call us. Otherwise go home and rest.”

This was it. This was goodbye.

“Thanks, Tom.”

“Goodbye, Y/N.”

He shut the door. He walked back to the wheelchair, released the brake locks and headed inside. He looked back only when your car was driving away.

“Here’s those papers that are so important.” Taylor handed you the stack after they got in.

“Thanks.”

“So how are you feeling?”

“Better. Thanks.” You felt them looking at you as they joined traffic.

“You sure? You sound like you feel awful.”

You try to remind yourself to forget the sweet and attractive nurse and start moving forward.

“Yeah. Yeah I’m okay.” You decide to distract yourself by reading through your discharge paperwork, when something caught your eye. On top was a sticky note with the hospital’s letterhead. You were sure it wasn’t there before. Looking closer it read,

Y/N,

In case you need someone to talk to when you can’t sleep.

555-5555

P. S. I have a connection to some pretty good pudding cups too.

Tom

The smile that grew on your face was undeniable. All the feelings you suppressed came flooding in. He wasn’t just being nice. He actually liked you.

One thing you knew for sure was that even though you would be in your own bed tonight, you still would be up, talking to a very special nurse.

Lmk if you want to be on my tag list

[mediocre-writerr]

a drop in the ocean [lexie grey]

lexie grey x fem reader

requested by anon: OH MY GOD THE CLIFFHANGER IN LOVE IT IF WE MADE IT CAN WE PLEASE HAVE A SECOND PART I LOVE THE ARIZONA AND LEXIE BOND OVER THEIR LOVED ONE

pt.1

*not my gif*

“So Lexie, do you want to tell me what happened?” Dr. Webber asked, a lawyer present next to him.

Apparently they just wanted to gather more information about what happened that dreaded day and she was deep in the middle of it. The normal day at the hospital, one where you think that it’ll be a perfectly normal day, but it turns out to be your worst nightmare. 

“During which part?” she asked.

“All of it,”

What was there to tell? The most horrific thing that could ever happen at someone’s workplace just happened a couple weeks ago. 

Lexie was back to her worst nightmare, but the day just started like any other. The two of you were in the guest bedroom of Meredith’s house or well I guess it’s not the guess bedroom, but you and Lexie’s room. 

Meredith let you move in not too long ago. It wasn’t the most ideal living situation, but it got the job done. While the two of you at least saved up for an apartment. 

You met Lexie through your best friend Arizona when you transferred from your previous hospital. 

“Darling?” Lexie played with your hair as your eyes were still closed. 

Your eyes fluttered open to see her head propped up by her elbow as she just stared at you. You gave her a tired smile, before grabbing the hand that propped off her head and pulled her to lie back down with you. 

You peppered her faces with kisses and she started giggling, “C’mon, we have a shift in an hour,” you groaned and continued placing kisses all over face, “Love,” she drew out. 

“No, I don’t want to go,” you whispered, pulling her closer to her, “Can we just stay here today?” 

“Unfortunately not,” she said, “You have a big surgery today with Derek and I am on Meredith’s service,” 

You let out a groan, “You’re right,” 

“And that’s how your day started?” the lawyer asked. 

Lexie nodded, “Yeah, just like any other day. Until of course we went to work and I guess I didn’t notice this until after, but when we first got there Gary Clark was already in the building. If he just shot then, well it would’ve been a completely different story,” 

You and Lexie entered the elevators, just as you’re about to go up to the other floors someone stuck their hand out to stop it from closing. It was an older man and he looked somewhat familiar to you, but you couldn’t quite place where he was from. 

“Going up?” he asked and you nodded with a small smile. 

“What floor sir?” you asked, politely.

He looked at the buttons, like he was trying to remember something, “3,” he finally said and you nodded, noticing that he was on the same floor. 

The elevator ride up was quiet, you just held Lexie’s hand, fiddling with her fingers. The elevator dinged and all three of you exited at the same time. 

“Have a good day,” you said and he just nodded. 

“So the two of you didn’t remember Gary Clark and why he was there before, right?” the lawyer brought up again.

“Y/N told me that he looked familiar, but she couldn’t remember where,” Lexie answered. 

You looked at her as the two of you reached the residents’ locker room. Lexie was already staring at you with her beautiful brown eyes. You cupped her cheeks softly before pressing a soft kiss to her lips. 

“You have a good day, okay?” you whispered to her, giving her another sweet kiss.

She nodded, “You do too. Rock that surgery. I’ll see you after work?” the brunette asked in more of a question than a statement. 

“Always,” you kissed her once more before parting ways. 

Mark and Arizona both slide up by your side as you walked down to the attending’s locker room. They had teasing smiles on their faces and you already knew what they were about to say.

“You and Little Grey are really falling in deep, huh?” Mark said, nudging your shoulder. 

“She’s so far gone, we can’t save her now,” Arizona added and you rolled your eyes playfully. 

“Mr. Clark was targeting surgeons, how did he know that Dr. Y/L/N was a surgeon. From Karev’s recollection it looked like he was aiming for the elevator,” the lawyer spoke up.

Arizona cleared her throat before shrugging, “I think Gary saw Y/N talking to Derek. Then it clicked, Y/N helped Derek with the surgery that supposedly killed his wife,”

“Are you ready for the surgery today Y/L/N?” Derek slid up next to you. 

You nodded, putting down the chart, that you’ve read once more, “I was born ready!” 

He gave you a high five and smiled, “That’s what I wanted to hear! I’ll see you down there!” 

You didn’t notice, but the same man in the elevator was there listening to your conversation. Derek was too far away for him to catch up, so he followed you. It was like a stake out or something. 

You went to go ask Arizona a question and that’s when you heard the infamous screams. The loud piercing screams that shook you to the core. 

“We brought Y/L/N back to the OR, we were able to head down there before they closed it off,” Mark confessed, “We had everything we needed down there, except for an anesthesiologist. Y/N was in a lot of pain,” 

Karev placed a rag into your mouth before they started to try and get the bullet out without anything to put you asleep. You closed your eyes as tears started streaming down your face. 

The sweat from all of the pain was dripping down your forehead. You kept falling in and out of consciousness because the loss of blood and all the pain was not doing good for your body. 

Lexie couldn’t bear just watching you in pain, so she ran down with no hesitation, “Lex-Lexie!” Arizona whisper-yelled, following in after her. 

It was too late though, Lexie was already in the OR with her hand squeezing yours. A small smile filed onto your face as the blurry vision of Lexie’s beautiful face filled your vision.

“Hey darling? Can you stay awake for me?” she whispered to you, running her fingers through your hair as you laid on the cool operating table.

You nodded, giving her a smile, but you could tell that your body was growing colder. They finally got a blood bag running through an IV to get you some more blood, but the pain was not subsiding. 

“Where’s Arizona?” you whispered.

Finally, Arizona appeared right at your side, “I’m right here,” 

“Remember when we were growing up and your dad called you a good man in the storm? You always lived by that,” she just nodded, not knowing where you were going with it, “Can you teach me? I’m scared I’m not strong enough. I think-I might abandon ship,” 

Lexie let out a muffled cry at your words. Arizona smiled at you with tears in her eyes. You could tell even from being face to face with death that she was trying to hold it back for you. 

You turned back to Lexie about to say something once more, “I told you, we should’ve stayed in bed,” you joked, trying to get a smile on that sad face of hers.

She let out a watery laugh, “That wasn’t funny,” 

“But you laughed,” 

“You keep fighting, okay? Keep being a good man in the storm,” the brunette whispered to you, kissing your forehead ever so softly, “I love you,” 

“I love you,” you told her, “Arizona, teach me now, please. I don’t know how much longer I can-”

Before you could even finish your sentence, you blacked out. A loud beep coming from the monitor, “Karev! She’s flatlining!” Mark yelled.

Karev started compressions as Lexie and Arizona started going hysterical. Mark walked over to the two girls and pushed them away form you as gently as possible. 

“The two of you need to stay right here. Karev and I don’t need you going hysterical when we’re trying to save Y/N’s life!” 

Lexie was transported back into the conference room with Mark, Arizona, and Alex. The lawyer sitting right in front of them with Dr. Webber at her side. Lexie tried blinking away her tears at the harsh memory.

“Can I go now?” she asked, her voice cracking, and she could tell she was on the verge of a breakdown.

Dr. Webber nodded, “Yeah, you’re all free to go,” 

Lexie shot up from out of her seat and ran to the one place where she knew she’d be safe. She entered the familiar room to see you lying there, your eyes skimming through your favorite book. 

She let out a breath of relief as she entered the room to see you’re still here. Your eyes lifted from your book to see the relief, slowly overcoming the fear. You scooted over in your bed, patting the seat down next to you. 

Your brunette girlfriend didn’t hesitate to come over. She gently slid into your side, clinging her arms around you like a big cuddly koala. You leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of her head before going back to reading. 

Lexie couldn’t stand the silence, it allowed for her thoughts to be too loud, “Would it be okay if you read it to me?” she whispered, “Just so I know you’re still here,” 

Your eyes softened at the beautiful girl in your arms. You pressed one more kiss to her forehead before clearing your throat, “I’m learning to deal with that, but yes, I love you. That’s not something I have to work through,” 

[yesimwriting]

Crossing lines

General Kirigan/the darkling x reader

Summary: This was requested by my friend @vvsdiamond28 who also writes and has a really good kirigan x reader story up right now! The request was basically for a fic in which the reader is out wandering at night and runs into kirigan while he’s in the banya and then they get to talking and some other stuff before he admits to only trusting the reader and giving her his real name. This gets kinda steamy bc of the request and bc the story called for it lol but it’s not full smut bc i decided that it would be better to do that as a part 2 so that i could add some jealousy tension haha

a/n i think im back?? Ive been working on requests a lot and ive really enjoyed writing regularly again. A small side note, after rewatching revenge of the sith im kinda in the mood to try writing an anakin fic 😭 pls he was my OG fictional crush,, so either send help or a request for him or something, Anyways,, back to this fic--ahh i had fun writing it but i still feel awkward writing steamier stuff so be nice!! 

-- 

Those that wander in the night, lost in uneasy thought--there’s probably a lot that can be said about them. But I can’t think of anything to be said about me. Nothing good comes from walking around a place full of powerful and tense people in the middle of the night. It wouldn’t take much effort to interpret my actions as suspicious, and yet I continue forward. I’m an idiot--just because I can’t sleep doesn’t mean I have to wander around campgrounds. My presence is barely tolerated here, I shouldn’t try backstroking in waters I can barely tread. 

But still, I walk, eyes more fixated on the open night sky than anything else. The moon is as full as an overflowing glass, the stars twinkling as if desperate to compete with a light it will never be able to duplicate. I sigh, pressing my lips together. Maybe the stars and I have more in common than I thought. Normally, that would be a good thing. 

Letting out a weary breath, I continue forward, away from the relative safety of the main tents. I’m still on the grounds, I’m approaching the border where the tents of higher ranking officials are. That should make me more nervous, but if anything it almost eases me slightly. 

General Kirigan is not the type to be friendly, and yet our interactions have always been laced with a touch of intimacy I can’t quite explain. We’ve been alone together more and more frequently, and I think that’s how I like him best. It’s strange, but when we’re alone some of his sharpness dulls, leaving space for something I might consider humor or actual personality on anyone else. He probably speaks to many girls like that when they’re alone together--a fact I have to fight to remind myself of--but it’s the closest thing to friendship I have here. Maybe it’s foolish to hold onto that, but I can’t bring myself to release my grip on those sentiments. At least not yet, when the kind moments are still rare and fleeting and no line has been crossed. 

The danger, however, comes from the prospect of not recognizing lines before they’re crossed. Even now, as I walk aimlessly in the night, pacing in hopes of exhausting my thoughts, I’m crossing lines in a much more literal way and even these are ill defined. I must be in new territory now, and even that I can only vaguely recognize because of the strangely humid scent that surrounds this area of the grounds. 

I’m near the banya. I didn’t intend to wander here, but the thought of splashing water on my face is too tempting to pass up on. I move closer, finding a sense of peace in having some direction, even in a small way. 

When the promise of water is only steps away, I begin to regret everything. There’s a figure in the bath. I freeze, ready to attempt to shrink away in hopes of disappearing before I’m caught. This could easily turn extremely awkward even though I technically haven’t done anything. Most people don’t bathe at this hour. Who bathes this late at night? 

I keep my eyes on the individual, trying to make out who they are and how aware they are of their surroundings in the dim light. Pale skin, dark hair--unbelievably attractive torso. My eyes linger there longer than they should. I force my gaze upwards, towards their face as if that can erase my ogling. Embarrassment leaves my face burning--I’m not the ‘ogling’ type, and this person doesn’t even know I’m here. I keep my eyes on them as I step back, taking in unaware features as best I can in the dark. 

I know them--I--Saints, it’s Kirigan. 

Fantastic. Of course he has to be even more impossibly attractive while shirtless and wet. I turn my head upwards sharply, more desperate to not be caught than ever. I would never, ever recover from being caught. Whether he’d tease me or be angry with me, I don’t know. I also don’t know which option I’d prefer. 

I step back again, my gait wider due to my urgency. Snap. The sound of both a twig and my chance of a stealthy escape being shattered. I cringe, craning my neck to the left in a desperate attempt to make it clear that I wasn’t watching him. I take another desperate step, ready to duck behind a nearby tree. Maybe he hasn’t seen me--maybe he’s distracted and assumed that some kind of rabbit or something passed by. He may not actively dislike me, but I’m not sure any semblance of favor he may have for me extends to this situation.

“Y/n.” His tone reveals nothing but his level of certainty. Ignoring him will only make me seem guilty. 

I pause, keeping my gaze off of him. “Yes.” It wasn’t really a question, and yet I still answer it like one. “I was--I couldn’t sleep so I thought I’d get some air, and I was walking kind of aimlessly and I ended up here and I didn’t think anyone would be here.” Why do I feel like I’m making this situation worse? “I’m sorry--I’m gonna--I’m going to go now.” This is the kind of embarrassing moment that will come back to me when I’m trying to fall asleep at night. I know it.

“You know the polite thing to do after intruding is to make eye contact.” 

I don’t think my face has ever felt this warm before. At least he doesn’t sound angry, but his voice doesn’t reveal that much. I raise my gaze carefully, turning my head slowly. “I didn’t mean,” I exhale slowly, “It wasn’t my intention to intrude.” 

He straightens slightly at my words, exposing more of his chest. I stay still, eyes trained on his to avoid an accidental lapse. “You could make it up to me by offering conversation.” Kirigan’s tone is deliberate, his words measured and calm. I don’t speak, feeling like I’m being presented a test I don’t understand, but most of our conversations leave me feeling like that. “Only if you’re comfortable.” 

And just like that, I’m backed into a corner. A challenge. To deny him now would be to expose the effect he has on me. My chin raises a fraction of an inch as I take in that assured half-smirk. “Why wouldn’t I be comfortable?” 

Kirigan arches a dark brow, assessing my response. “Then sit,” his voice has not changed, “You want air and I want company.” 

I don’t think anyone that looks as good as he does shirtless has ever had trouble finding company, especially with the smooth way he speaks. Despite this, I step forward to accept his challenge without calling him out on his coyness. Each step is the crossing of another invisible line until I’m near the water’s edge. I make sure to keep my nightgown at a respectable length as I sit down. 

I make a point of extending my legs towards the water while leaning back so that I can’t be easily accused of being a coward. “I feel the need to warn you that I might not make particularly interesting company.”

He angles his head to the side slightly, drawing attention to his jawline and neck. I force my stare to focus on the water. “I’ve never found you uninteresting.” 

There’s something resigned in the way he says this. On instinct, I look up, taking in the slight softening of his features. The release of his usual sternness only adds to his beauty, a fact that I’m already resenting. 

“You may be the only one.” It’s not meant to be a deprecating comment, but I’m not sure my partial laugh softens my bitterness. I hope it does--I’d rather his interest than the interest of my entire unit. 

Kirigan shifts forward, the water moving with him. “Do you think that any coldness you’re experiencing has to do with you?” 

The question has me drawing my eyebrows together. What else could it be? I shrug, “I’ve considered it.” 

He nods once, eyes hardening slightly. “Do you always have trouble sleeping?” 

The personalness of the question shouldn’t surprise me as much as it does. Kirigan seems to only understand boundaries when he’s the one setting them. “Not really.” A partial lie--this time I’m glad I can’t quite bring myself to look at him. “It’s not uncommon for me, but it’s not something I deal with every night.” 

I risk shifting my eyeline when I hear the sound of water moving. Kirigan’s now resting an arm on the rim of the pool, wet skin dangerously close to my ankle and lower calf. “It’s not always easy,” his voice is low now, “Being alone with your thoughts.” 

That’s not the kind of reply I’d expect from him. I blink twice before turning to study his expression. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him seem so tired--so weary and human and in need of something. The line between his eyebrows and the far off quality of his eyes leave me with the strong desire to give whatever it is he needs to him. The urge to reach out, to touch him in hopes of breaking him free from his odd trance leaves my stomach knotted. That line is too clear to cross so recklessly.

I need to chase away the serious atmosphere he’s created. “Is that why you bathe so late at night?” I let myself smile, “To avoid thoughts?” 

“I like the peace of it.” Something akin to amusement touches his words. “And for the record, little dove,” the nickname is pointed and earns him an eyeroll, “The warm water doesn’t exactly chase away thoughts so much as encourages others.” He pauses. “You understand, considering you can barely look at me.”

This is the most embarrassing thing to have ever happened. The suggestive jilt to his words has to be intentional. Damn him. I turn my head, forcing myself to meet his gaze. “I can look at you just fine.” 

“And if I were a Heartrender and could hear your heartbeat your pulse would be normal?” The question is teasing, a small smile pulling at his lips. 

The warmth in my face increases, spreading down my neck. Kirigan’s expression remains smug. “You’re not as funny as you think you are.” 

“No?” He leans forward, angling his head so close to me I can faintly feel the warmth of his breath on my lower calf. “I find myself amusing.” 

At least being around him like this is getting easier. I open my mouth, ready to provide some sarcastic comment I haven’t thought out yet. My mouth clamps shut on instinct when I feel his touch on my ankle. The faint contact quickly grows, his fingers brushing up my ankle and calf, leaving drops of cool water across my skin.

“What are you doing?” That’s a--a fair question, right? I’m not sure, rational thought slipping from me more and more with each passing second. 

“Nothing, really,” his reply is quick. “Nervous?” 

There is no way he doesn’t know what he’s doing. I roll my eyes, fighting against my instinctual fluster. “No,” a full lie, “You’re just getting me wet.” 

“Barely.” When he’s not busy being brooding he’s not much better than an irritating child. He retracts his hand slowly, fingers grazing my skin slowly as he submerges his hand beneath the water. The loss of contact should feel like a victory. It doesn’t. “Y/n,” he shifts closer, back straightening.

There’s an odd seriousness to his demeanor that almost leaves me reeling. “Yes?” 

He beckons me forward. I hesitate, but comply, letting myself shift closer to the water’s edge. Kirgan’s lips part, but no words leave him before he moves his arm, purposefully splashing water over my thighs and bottom of my nightgown. I let out an instinctively annoyed sound. “That is getting you wet.” 

“Kirigan!” My tone is as menacing as I can make it, but he continues to grin. There’s such a lightness to the look I almost forget to be annoyed. Almost. “I should tell the entire Second Army how much of a child you are.” 

My threat does nothing, his smile softening without fading. “They fear me too much for your stories to make a difference.” He says this flatly. “All of them except you.” 

I don’t know if I’m supposed to make something of that comment. A brief moment passes in which I think his eyes come close to softening. Maybe that’s a side effect of seeing the world as you want. Wait...what do I want? Him? No, no, I can’t. 

Okay, he’s objectively attractive and sometimes I think I may see more depth in him than he wants to be capable of. But that doesn’t mean I’m allowed to want anything with him. Even if he was trustworthy enough for me to be with him in any capacity...even casually, it could never happen. Nothing good could come from having relations with the highest ranked general and I doubt he’d ever want me like that. He likes to fluster people and I’m an easy target. I just accept it because being some level of entertainment to him is better than being nothing to everyone. 

“I don’t think there’s much point in fear.” It feels like a fair answer. The fairest answer I can manage, anyways. 

He sighs, the sound heavy. His hand stretches forward cautiously. I watch him and make no attempt to stop him from touching my lower calf. His fingers trace absentmindedly across the skin. “Of course you’d think that.” 

Again, I don’t know what to make of his words. Or his actions. He couldn’t find anything wrong with me just slightly adjusting my position. It’d be a polite way to remind us both of the natural order of things. But then again, someone like him is allowed to be mad about anything. And I’m not sure I want to remind us of our place. 

Actually, I’m completely sure that I want the opposite of that. But admitting that to myself is enough of a risk. I’ve already crossed thousands of tiny lines and what I want will require us to cross a thousand more. 

“I’m a little surprised you’re not reminding me how foolish a notion like that can be.” 

He lets out a tiny breath as he shifts even closer to me. “Maybe I’m enjoying your foolishness.” 

“I’m not sure if I should take that as a compliment or the opposite.” 

The slightest hint of a smile is visible to me beneath the moon’s glow. There’s something about darkness that adds beauty to things. I wait for him to reply, but instead of speaking his  hand moves further up my leg. I struggle to hide my reaction to his long fingers trailing up my skin.

He’s touched me before, sure. Tiny moments in which he’d push a strand of hair out of my face or wipe at a bit of dirt on my cheekbone. More recently, he had gripped my hip firmly to guide me through a crowd of soldiers. He had been in a hurry, stealing me from a conversation with the only member of my unit that’s been somewhat friendly to me. It wasn’t serious--he had just been rushing me because he only had a minute between meetings and apparently he had too long of a day to not take a moment to speak with me. 

“Are you alright, Dovey?” Normally, the nickname and all of its variations earns him an eyeroll. But everything is a lot less humorous with his hand half up my lower leg, leaving a trail of cool water wherever he touches. 

His fingers press more firmly into my skin. “Yes, I’m fine--it’s just late.” 

“Hm…” Kirigan breathes before tilting his head slightly. “You’re warm.” I stay silent as his hand shifts slightly. “Perhaps too warm.” 

If I’m hot that has absolutely nothing to do with fever. “I’m fine, General, I promise.” 

“Come closer,” he says, “It’ll take me no time to check.” 

...A little too convenient. My nightgown is still embarrassingly damp from the last time I eased tonight. “Please tell me you don’t find me that naive.” 

“Naive? No.” He lifts his hand slightly. “Warm? Yes.” I still don’t trust him. “I’m not going to do anything. I promise.” 

His eyes are dark and the limited lighting of the moon doesn’t offer me much in my analysis, but what I can see makes him seem genuine. “Why do I feel like that’s not the first time you’ve had to say that?” Despite my comment, I move towards him. 

The back of Kirigan’s palm is pressed to my forehead for less than a second. He brushes his hand down the side of my temple, rotating his wrist so that his fingertips can touch my cheek. His hand then continues to move down my jawline and then my neck...and then finally trails down my collarbone. I bite my tongue to avoid exhaling audibly at the contact. 

“Warm,” he concludes with a tsk, and yet he doesn’t withdraw his hand. “Though that could just have to do with the climate.” His thumb slips beneath the sleeve of my nightgown. “Perhaps you could benefit from joining me.” 

I bite my tongue to avoid letting out a surprised, embarrassingly enthusiastic squeak. I don’t know what’s gotten into him...maybe it’s the night air and the prospect of being fully alone. I should be strong enough to break whatever spell he’s starting to place on me. But I’m not. I’m really, really not. 

He pulls on the sleeve of my nightgown slightly. “I’m…” 

“Unless you’re nervous?” Another damn challenge. To shy away from this would be to expose myself. He tugs on the sleeve a little more assuredly, exposing my shoulder to the humid night. “Do I make you nervous?” 

His voice comes out a shallow rasp. I feel it straight in my core. “...Not more than you should.” 

“More than I should?” 

Ugh--too honest. I let myself get distracted. It shouldn’t be too difficult to explain what I meant. He knows he’s feared. He wants to be feared. “I’m sure we’re both aware that there are a fair amount of cautionary tales revolving around you.” 

His hand falls next to my lap. Oh? I didn’t expect to miss the contact between us so much. His expression seems to have fallen slightly as well. Was it my response to his question? It felt fair and straightforward without being too blunt. “And you believe every cautionary tale you hear?” 

There’s something stiff about the way he asks the question. His moodiness is making me miss his touchiness even more. At least then I didn’t have to feel like I made a mistake. Did I say something wrong? “Should I?”

“It depends on whether or not you plan on being brave.” 

“I told you...I don’t see much point in fear.” 

“And yet you’re still there.” A bit of humor returns to his voice. “Why is that?” 

Rolling my eyes, I shift forward, letting my legs dip into the water. This is as far as I should let this go. I’ve already lost too much more control. “Better?” He’s strangely tense again, a hint of something bitter playing at the smug look he tries for. “You alright?”

“Of course you’d ask me that.” He says this with a tired sigh. “You can never make things easy.” 

“I don’t understand.” 

He shifts backwards slightly. I can feel the distance between us like I’d feel a pebble in my shoe. “Do you believe all the stories about me?” 

Is he still bothered by that? “I didn’t mean it as literally as you’re taking it. All I meant is that people are intimidated by you, but that’s not a bad thing. It’s the way things have to be, you’re the only Shadow Summoner in existence and the army needs you to be intimidating so that they can act on your guidance.”

“The way things have to be,” he echoes, his voice strangely weighted. “There’s a specific kind of loneliness that comes with being feared by everyone.” 

Oh--I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t that. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him feel defeated like that. I reach for his hand without thinking, pulling his fingers towards my lap. “I don’t--I’m not scared of you.” It’s a weak attempt to comfort him, but it’s the only one I can think of. “That probably doesn’t mean anything, but I--” 

His hand turns in my lap, squeezing the exposed part of my thigh. “It means something.” Kirigan’s voice has hardened in a different way. “You’re the only person I’m certain of.” 

Everything in me seems to tighten at that. At the implication of something so personal from someone so closed off. “Kirigan, you don’t have to be as alone as you feel. You talk to me all the time and you do so in a way that makes it easy to forget the cautionary tales.” His hand moves further up my thigh. I fight as I try to remember our usual dynamic. “You’re the only one that talks to me like that.” 

“Have you ever considered that maybe the others refuse to take to you because of the favor I’ve shown you? The instinct to stay away from me is strong enough to extend to those around me.” Kirigan’s hand moves higher up my thigh. “To be near me is to involve solitude.” 

“I don’t care.” The answer leaves me too quickly. “Being near you is worth it.” 

He leans closer before resting his chin on my knee with no hesitation. “Careful, you don’t understand the line you tread.” Kirigan places his hand more firmly between my thighs. “Or perhaps you do...perhaps you know what you want to cross.” 

This time I can’t help the airy sigh that leaves me. Kirigan pushes against my thigh slightly, separating my legs. I feel his breath on my inner thigh before I know what’s going on. I can’t move, I can’t think, I can’t even breathe. That inability to do anything but feel my heart pound against my chest only worsens as I feel his lips press into the inside of my thigh. His lips trail up my skin before his teeth gently sink into the top of my thigh. 

“Is the line you want to cross?” He breathes the question so softly I feel like I’m being coddled. Everything in me feels too hot to think of any kind of coherent response. Kirigan uses his free hand to pull the fabric of my nightgown as high up my thighs as he can from his position below me. “Or maybe this is the line you want to cross?” Kirigan pulls me forward so suddenly I let out a tiny gasp. I’m not fully on the edge of the banya. “Or perhaps this one?” He kisses the skin of my inner thigh gently. Each time I exhale too loudly, his teeth graze my skin. He gets harsher with each passing second. “Lay down.” 

My body listens to him on instinct. How is this happening? How am I this powerless to fight against something that’s so clearly wrong? The sound of water shifting causes my entire body to tense. He’s pulled himself out of the water. Kirigan moves above me instantly, water dripping from his toned chest and dark hair and onto my still damp nightgown. 

Before I can speak, he’s on me completely, his lips pressing against my jaw. He kisses down my neck, his teeth grazing against my skin sporadically. He pulls away from me by tracing his tongue across my collar bone. I let out something dangerously close to a moan. “Such pretty, little sounds.” 

“Kirigan--” 

“The only name I want you to hear from your lips is the only name that I’ve not given myself. The only name that holds meaning to me.” 

His lips graze where my skin meets the hem of my now soaked through nightgown. I’m not sure the poor lighting is offering me enough coverage now. There’s no way the thin fabric leaves much to the imagination while being this wet. He kisses up my chest and neck until his lips reach the shell of my ear. 

“Aleksander.” The name is grace in the form of a breath so soft it’s more like I’m feeling the name than actually hearing it. 

He presses his lips against the spot on my neck directly beneath my ear. I exhale into the contact. “Aleksander.” As I test his true name on my tongue, his teeth dig into my skin much more harshly than before. 

I let out a partial squeak at the sudden shift in pace as his hands grip my waist. “Say it again. Say my name again.”

He traces his tongue gingerly over the skin he just aggravated with his teeth before I can speak. The soothing sensation is so much I can barely find my voice. “Aleksander.” 

His hand bunches the bottom of my nightgown, raising the fabric to my hips. “...Say it just like that.” Kirgan’s rough hand slips between the bone of my hip and the fabric of my hip. “Like I’m the only one that knows you like this.”

“Aleksander.” I breathe as he traces invisible patterns into my skin with his lips. “Aleksander.” Each use of his name earns me extra attention--a stronger hold on my hip, a more adamant nip at the base of my neck. I feel my need for him so heavily I swear it’s leaked into my bones. “Aleksander.”

When he pulls away, I fight the urge to whine. The night is still humid, but with the absence of his touch I feel like I’m shivering. He regards me silently for a long moment before shifting his weight again. I feel my heart stall in my chest as his hand softly brushes a strand of hair out of my face. He lets his hand linger there, at the apple of my cheek. The entire world seems to stall as he leans down, his hand cupping the side of my face as his mouth inches closer to mine. 

“I can feel the fluttering of your heart.” 

Any poor defense dies in my throat as his lips meet mine. He gives me no time to think about what’s happening as he presses into me even harder. Kirigan holds my face as his teeth graze against my bottom lip. My mouth opens slightly in surprise, giving him the opportunity he needs to slip his tongue into my mouth. His tongue slowly brushes against mine, coaxing me into total, delirious, compliance. When he starts to pull away, I react, my hands flying forward to grab his hair. He lets me get away with tugging him towards me, prolonging the kiss as he bites my bottom lip. 

One of his hands leaves my face and travels up the hands holding onto his hair. He pulls me off of him easily, pinning both of my wrists above my head with one hand. “Easy,” Kirigan warns, “You’ve been such a good girl, let’s not ruin it before we’ve started.” 

A tiny sigh leaves me. I can feel the pride he takes in that as his hand trails further down my body. His fingers ghost along the hem of my underwear teasingly. 

“Is someone there?” I’ve never damned the voice of a stranger more. 

Panic and dread roll in my stomach. I’m going to get caught like this, with my nightgown bunched at my hips beneath the General Kirigan. An unclothed, wet, General Kirigan. “I’m bathing.” 

Okay...good...Aleksander spoke. Anyone with common sense would run at the thought of invading on Kirgan’s privacy. It’s a good thing that the soldier had the sense to linger behind a thicket of bushes. “Pardon General, but there’s been a crucial development. A new strategy should be thought of as soon as possible.” 

No. No. The thought of losing contact so entirely, of having a moment that should have never happened be ripped from me before it’s even really happened is overwhelming. I feel my lips pull into a pout. Kirigan’s hand adjusts on me, his thumb pressing teasingly over where I’m neediest. I bite my tongue to avoid making an inappropriate noise. 

“Five minutes--I’ll be in the strategy tent in five minutes.” 

“I’ll tell the others, General.”

Great. I hear the stranger disappear, his feet crushing twigs and grass as he leaves us. Aleksander’s attention returns to me quickly. Disappointment swells in my chest as I take in the solemn look that crosses his features. His hand moves to my chin quickly before pulling me into another deep kiss. It’s too short lived. 

“I have to go.” 

Frowning, I lift my hand to trace my fingers up his arm. It’s softer than I should allow myself to be, but it doesn’t really matter anymore. Not when this is probably never going to happen again. “Do you?” I mumble to myself, half joking.

He sighs once, his thumb brushing against my cheek. “No pouting.” 

Now that whatever little bubble we were in has popped, I’m capable of normal feelings. Including shame. “I am n--” 

“Easy, little dove, I’ll remember all of this when I find you again.” 

This...this is going to happen again? “You’re going to find me?” 

“I haven’t yet heard your voice crack on my name as I undo you.” He punctuates the promise with a kiss to my jaw. “Again.” Another kiss. “And again.” Another brush of his lips as he finally pulls away. “And again.” 

My breath catches itself in my throat as he moves off of me entirely. Damn whatever change in the war that’s pulled him away from me so suddenly. I sit up as he stands. I’m not sure where to look now that he’s not in close enough proximity to cloud my thoughts. I should leave as he dresses, but I can’t quite bring myself to. It doesn’t feel safe, not when the man that interrupted us could reappear at any moment. Not when I want to hold onto his presence like this as long as possible. 

 He squeezes my shoulder warmly as he passes before bending down to press one more kiss next to where his hand is. 

“Soon,” he promises again. 

--

General taglist: @theincredibledeadlyviper, @grishaverse7 @benbarnes-supremacy  @tranquilitymoon @kaitlyn2907 @lunamyangel @christinawxxx @deceivedeer @real-mbappe @tonks33

[burnedbyshoto]

a nurses job

— Bakugou breaks his arms and as a nurse, you have the responsibility to make sure that he is comfortable, even when he needs to use the bathroom.

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pairing: pro hero!bakugou katsuki x nurse fem!reader

warnings: smut, 18+, prohero!bakugou, golden showers/water sports/piss kink, degradation (giving), dirty talk, lusting/pining, handjobs

word count: 5,050

a/n: so, I was going to make this a piss in ur mouth and pussy type of fic, but I kept seeing all those beautiful bakugou piss arts where he’s with a nurse.... so this is inspired and brought upon by all the water sports bakugou x nurse art ive seen for three months.

kinktober day 21 main kink: piss | kinktober masterlist

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You’re not quite sure what persuaded you into wanting to become a nurse as a child.

Maybe it was because your quirk (when you hum at an A flat, everyone within 5 meters experiences accelerated healing properties) was useless for Pro Hero work, so you realized early on that being a Pro Hero was a distant dream. Maybe it was because medical staff were still hailed as everyday heroes despite being in a world with people who could perform extraordinary achievements. It started as a small obsession to prove to the soon to be jobless, dream broken, and graduated failures of the hero course high schools that you had done more than them. That you, unlike them, were recognized as a hero. 

You were decent with math and science, so you strove for medical school. But with the horrendous costs of schooling, your then living situation, and your dislike of unneeded and unwanted competitive stress, you deterred toward the nursing pathway. It was a pathway where you really found yourself, or at least, you thought so.

Empathy, emotion, and the need to see people come out of a hospital better than when they entered was something that grew on you quickly and obviously. Your earliest clinical rounds often left you with swollen, tired feet from walking around for restless hours, but with a smile on your face that was irreplicable. With every semester in school, you got better, connected better with your patients. Your feet still ache after long shifts, and sometimes your smile is hollow and broken, and if you look closely, you could see dried tears and puffy eyelids, but you wouldn’t ever regret this decision to become a nurse.

At twenty-five, newly graduated from nursing school, already working full time at the best hospital in Japan, while studying for your degree to eventually become a nurse practitioner. You loved your job quite a lot. They had placed you immediately within their Post-OP, ICU, and recovery wings, and even though you were somewhat new, you were celebrating a year of working in a few weeks, you already had some… more than familiar faces.

“Well, Ground Zero-san, I guess you owe me a drink because unless my eyes are deceiving me, it looks like both your arms are broken, no?” you hum, your grin bright and wide, not even attempting to hide it’s glee as your high profile patient sat seething on the hospital bed. “It’s been, what? Two weeks since you last showed up here? You getting old?”

“Oh, would you shut the fuck up, you shitty ass nurse?!” Bakugou snarled, his arms obviously trying to tense and move against the large casts that envelope him. “The fuck would you expect to happen when facing off with a quirk that’s specifically meant to break people’s arms?!”

“Deku didn’t break any arms,” you point out with a soft laugh, eyes still scanning and reading through his charts to check his medical needs and medicine prescribed by the attending and when he should be taking them. “A bit weird that only half of the Wonder Duo was indescribably injured, no?”

A loud snarl ripped from Bakugou’s throat, and you stifled your own laughter as you raised your eyesight to look him straight in his raging eyes.

“I took that damn nerds hits because he’s broken his arms so many fucking times he’ll be forced to amputate them if he breaks them again!” Bakugou’s eyes were near white in his anger, but the intensity of his emotions was heavily diminished by the fact that his arms were strapped to his chest in thick, round bandages.

“You can admit you care for him,” you chide, ignoring his ‘like hell I do!’ Placing the chart down and walking to his IV drip, you checked to see if anything he was hooked to required any changes or whatnot. “Besides, this is not the first time I’ve seen you in here! It was quite surprising to see Ground Zero on bedrest on my first ever shift here.”

That much was true.

You had been working at Tokyo Hospital for nearly nine months now. Within the nine months, you saw a lot of heroes; that much was true. Your quirk was versatile as a nurse, and you were bright, young, very good at your job, and definitely a beautiful individual. So, when you were assigned to be working most of your days healing heroes because they were the backbone of the country, it didn’t quite catch you by surprise. It was a common assignment you had as a nursing student too.

You just didn’t expect the head nurse of the floor to assign one of your five rooms to be holding none other than Ground Zero, a.k.a Bakugou Katsuki.

Of course, you weren’t an idiot. You had known about the explosion hero since high school! You had sat in front of your TV in high school, attempting to do your homework while watching the rather intensive first-year battles. He had done well in every stage, placing within the top three each time and even winning the game! You had cringed at the awards ceremony but had been horrified at the news of his kidnapping. 

But after that, with the rising tensions of the villain world upon the dying world left behind by All Might, you had forgotten him for a moment. As time went on, and finally, a new support system was brought forth, Ground Zero, much like his quirk entailed, exploded onto the scene alongside Deku and a few other young heroes.

So, sure, you expected to maybe one day run into the ash-blond hero, but you didn’t expect it to happen on day one.

All things considered, the two of you got along rather well.

His... strong personality did make you wary of him at first, taking his near verbal barrage until you, very flusteredly he will argue, told him to ‘shut up, you butthole!’

You were horrified at your lack of professionalism, and Bakugou had gone silent as he stared at you in silence.

“Did you just call me a butthole?” he echoed, his face full of emotions you could not read. You felt on the verge of panicking, unsure if he was going to potentially tell on you! The sounds of a barking laughter rang in your ear, and you looked up to see his grinning, much more relaxed form. “Are you some shitty preschooler?!”

Thus began a working relationship of sorts between you and Bakugou.

He was an asshole, and you tried your best to not let him talk you off a cliff. It didn’t take very long for you to find out what made him tick surprisingly enough, and you used that to your advantage. The best way to tease him right now was by reminding him that he had been hospitalized more times than Deku, who apparently had held the record for the number of hospitalizations between him and his friends.

“Are you going to mention that shit first meeting every time we talk?!” Bakugou barked, his eyes narrowed as he turned his head away from you.

“After you admit you care deeply for all your friends!” you chirp back, stepping away from his IV drip, satisfied by what you saw. “Well, you look good for now. I’ll be checking up on you every ten to fifteen minutes since you can’t press the button until we can get those casts off! Did ya need anything before I go check on my other patients?”

“Open the damn window; it’s stuffy in here,” Bakugou grumbled, his face finally facing you again. 

“Of course,” you smile cheekily, your eyes squinting with your broad grin. “It’s a nurse's job to make their patients comfortable and happy!”

Standing at the side of the bed, you stretched over Bakugou to grab the edge of the window and slide it open. Through your stance, you were entirely aware of how this looked, how this felt. Your breasts centimeters from Bakugou’s face, your eyes never once breaking from the window to feign your innocence as you finally pull away. Even with scrubs on, you could feel his hot, sharp breathes expelling through your clothes, his ears tinging just the smallest bit red as you smile.

“Anything else?” you asked sweetly, failing to hide your impish grin.

“Put the water cup close by,” he grunted, eyes staring at the liter of water at his side table. Well, he wouldn’t be able to use his arms until just before he was set to be discharged, so moving the water closer was a good idea.

Nodding, you grabbed a nearby cup, filling it three-quarters of a way full before placing it onto the feeding table and dragging it near his mouth, a bendy straw already secured into the cup. You watched as he shot forward, putting the plastic straw into his mouth and beginning to drink the cold water. His eyes were back on yours, deceivingly cold had you already not been an expert on his personality.

With one final soft chuckle, you waved at Bakugou as you headed out, a cheerful smile on your face as he continued to drink his water.

“See ya in a few!”

Well, you guess there was one more important detail about your relationship with Bakugou Katsuki. For the past five months, you have been doing everything in your power to seduce him — to get him to admit that he wanted you too.

You knew the ethics and the morals behind falling for a patient of yours, much less a high profile patient at that. You knew that if your little crush was ever found out, you would most definitely be moved from his room. You were also damningly aware that you should have brought up your initial feelings for the explosion hero to your admin the moment it arose. But the thought and the way you were always so happy to be around him eventually overruled your logic. Five months ago, you had stayed at the hospital until nearly three am, talking with a severely concussed Bakugou. You were stationed for an overnight round with the task of making sure that he didn’t fall asleep. And for the first time in your time knowing Bakugou, the two of you somehow clicked into place, and when he was discharged the next morning — the nurse who had a quirk to rid of concussions finally arriving — he had thanked you.

It was so benign, so incredibly simple, yet the way the golden sunshine illuminated his blond hair and made his red eyes shine like a ruby, you found your own tired body feeling heated and warm. He wasn’t such a lousy conversationalist, and you had already enjoyed all your interactions together, yet it still caught you off guard to feel your heart pounding in your throat as he pulled on his jacket and left.

So after coming to terms with your sudden infatuation for the stubborn hero, you began to express your desires and feelings for him without having to say it. For all that he was worth and all that he expressed himself to be extremely observant, Bakugou Katsuki still had no idea that you liked him.

Unfortunately, your scrub nurse uniform wasn’t precisely seductive. The light blue of the breathable, sterile uniform was about as unsexy as uniforms got. But that never stopped you from leaning in too close when doing what Bakugou demanded of you. It didn’t prevent you from accidentally dropping papers in front of him and bending over to show off the curves of your ass.

There had never been a time such as this one where you hated that the old, ‘sexy’ nurse outfits were no longer up to standard and banned from use. How you would have loved to be wearing gartered held stockings just to accidentally flash to Bakugou. But, you suppose that it’s alright. Even though your feelings and ambitions to get the Pro Hero to like you as much as you did him, you never tried to push it.

For now, you were just an asshole tease.

You carried out the rest of your rounds in peace, your pager sitting comfortably in your pocket, unused, unneeded for now. The rest of your four patients were doing well for now.

One was asleep, most likely due to the medicine coursing through his veins, but his vitals remained unchanged.

Another was in the process of getting ready to be discharged, her family there to help her in leaving.

The third was eating his dinner, eyes concentrated on a poker game on the TV as he asked you to help fluff his pillow.

The last was busy with a physical therapist, her forehead slick with sweat as she attempted to sit up from her chair.

All in all, they were all doing fine, and you were back to the beginning, back to Bakugou’s room.

You entered his closed room door to be greeted by an empty bed. Your eyes widened immediately, the initial wave of pure horror flashing through you that by some freak accident, some murderous villain had kidnapped the injured hero straight from the hospital bed. 

“Ground Zero-san?!” you called out, a pitched voice of concern frilling your voice as you stumbled through the room. Your eyes were frantically searching the room, fingers feeling the lingering warmth of his body on the bed and your eyes noticing the empty water cup on his table still. The sheets of his bed haphazardly thrown off as if in a struggle.

Your fingers wound around the panic button, your ears straining to hear any sort of sign of Bakugou still being here.

A gritted teeth snarl was muffled from the attached bathroom, and you froze, unable to move as you felt the untouched button in your hands turn as light as a feather. You approached the bathroom door with soft footsteps, the smile on your face, unable to be stopped as you pulled the door open.

The sight you happened upon was something that made your lips curl into a wider smirk as the hospital clothed-clad hero absolutely struggled with his lack of functioning hands and arms to pull down his pants. Something he couldn’t do himself because the socks and slippers on his feet kept him from even attempting to tug his pants off with his toes.

In his struggle, undoubtedly miserable attempt to get his pants and underwear off his waist, Bakugou seemed ignorant to your arrival. His back still towards you, his head tilted down in his struggle as he twisted and pulled at practically nothing.

And as you watched him struggle, you couldn’t help but let your eyes drink in his form that stood tall before you. Most occurrences where you found yourself face to face with Bakugou, he was always tucked in a bed (except that time you realized your feeling for him), whether it was because he needed to be or because he was forced to be. So seeing him in his full height, seeing how despite your size, you were still only at his shoulder, made your eyelashes flutter.

He was tall, so deliciously tall, you wanted to climb onto a chair to see if he would be taller even with that added height. And oh how the flimsy material of his hospital outfit was stretched then against the taut muscles of his back. They flexed and shifted with his aggravation, and the only thought on your mind was to rake your fingers against the tempting muscle and skin.

“Shitty. fucking. villain!” he hissed angrily, sweat trickling down the back of his neck as he still struggled to do what nature called him for. 

But you couldn’t help it; the flexing muscles of his back, the lower tenor of his voice, and the way he seemed ridiculously larger than life at the moment tipped your restraint over. Your ability to hold back crashing through you like a tsunami wave, drowning you until you found your hand tethered to the tight spot at the center of his spine, your hushed words drifting to his ear like sweet, warm honey.

“You need any help here, Ground Zero-san?” you asked, your voice just loud enough to have your hot breath fanning against his sweaty exposed neck. You could feel him twitch in your hold, his body stiffening as he whipped his head around to look at you, red eyes wild, wide, and dark.

“Don’t ya know how to fucking knock?!” he snapped, his body flushed at being caught in the bathroom, unable to shed his clothes. He doesn’t move from your touch, and that small detail makes you warm, knowing that he wasn’t entirely repulsed by your touch. 

“You were missing from your bed, and I called your name,” you smile despite his angry glare. “I know you are susceptible to hear loss, but I thought you were still in the clear.”

“I ain’t fucking deaf,” Bakugou growled, his face twisted with a frown. “And that still doesn’t explain why the hell you’re here!”

“Oh, were you not just completely struggling earlier?” you feign shock, the grin on your face unstoppable at the embarrassed scowl that sets on his face. You step even closer to him so that your torso is perpendicular to his side. Your hand still gently touching his muscled back, and your free hand gently pressing to his own abdomen, the feeling of his flexed muscles, making you dizzy as you peer down at the white toilet. “Is there a villain in the toilet? I didn’t think that was possible!”

“Of fucking course not, there’s not a shitty villain in the toilet.” Bakugou flushed, his body entirely trapped by you, but he made no play to escape.

“Oh, so did you need help?”

Bakugou stares at you, his mind whirling a kilometer a second as he contemplates his next course of action. The both of you know he needs help, and still, the both of you are aware that his ability to ask of that from you is slim to none given he couldn’t even wait for you to return to his room.

“Tch,” he clicks his tongue angrily, annoyed, completely fed up. His eyes rolling to the ceiling, refusing to acknowledge you as his head nods once. “Help me, shitass nurse.”

“Of course!” you chirp, your eyes finding his hooded ones.

You give him one last warm, sweet smile before the hand on his torso lightly drags down his stomach, soft in its unashamed way of feeling him up. Your head tilted as your fingers hooked into the tight waistband of his pants and pulled it down, the heat of your palm accidentally dragging itself over the imprint of his cock behind his boxers.

The slight, flustered choking noise at the back of his throat didn’t go ignored by you, but rather but aside for later. Your eyes flashing up to see his red eyes wide, his cheeks so lightly dusted with pink as you managed to pull down his boxers too. 

“There!” you exclaim, your eyes closing in your grin before you turn your attention back down to his exposed dick. 

Immediately, you had to hold back a noise of pure want and lust at the sight of him. He was long, undoubtedly eight inches, definitely more. Although you couldn’t tell how thick, you knew his dick would fill your palm without a struggle. The trimmed, dark blond pubes and the protruding veins are what did it for you, your tongue poking out for a millisecond to wet your lips as you stared at his dark pink head.

“Stop staring at it!” Bakugou hissed, clearly embarrassed if the slight voice crack said anything about it. 

You looked back up at him, fake confusion swimming in your eyes as you tilted your head. “It’s only a penis. I see millions of these all the time.”

“Yeah, but it’s fucking weird!”

A soft laugh escaped your lips, your eyes rolling softly as you sighed in retreat, “Fine, fine, let's pee big boy and get you in bed.”

With your dominant hand, you grabbed his dick with a soft grip, pleasure simmering through you at the confirmation of the thick dick in your palm. But it seemed you weren’t the only one who thought that for the moment you tried to steer his dick toward the toilet to assist in aim, Bakugou hissed loudly. His flesh twitching to life in your warm, soft hand as it began to grow upward.

You didn’t say anything; your jaw remained as tight and closed as your vocal box despite the egging need to tease him and celebrate his apparent approval of your touch. So, eventually, in a voice that defied the nervous energy coursing through your veins, you asked: “Didn’t you need to pee?”

Bakugou let out a throaty, guttural groan, his anger hissing between his teeth as his dick twitched again in your hold, growing longer and harder still.

“I can’t take a damn piss with a hard-on, you idiot!” he roared despite the strawberry red blush on his cheeks. You admired the way he was still fighting for control of an upper hand here despite — clearly — not having any.

“Oh, haha! Silly me!” you laugh, your hand shifting against his length, your warm palm getting closer to the base of his cock.

“W-What are you doing?!” Bakugou spluttered, your soft butterfly touches sending him through a loop he clearly wasn’t expecting. “You could just wait for it to die!” 

“It’s a nurse's job to make their patients comfortable and happy,” you repeat your words, your hold on his dick growing firmer and harder just as his cock continued to do. “You clearly need to pee, and there’s no telling when your cock will go down.”

“I’LL MAKE IT GO DOWN!” Bakugou yells, but the usual sharpness to his tone has deflated, diminished to nothing but whining embarrassed yell. You look up at his clenched jaw and how a pretty pink glows on his cheeks, and you’re mesmerized.

Looking back down at his growing cock that warms your hand immensely, you hum, slightly twisting your hand around his length. Bakugou shudders, a whine hidden in his throat as you open your own mouth.

“Do you want me to stop?” you question, your eyes fluttering up to look at his clouded red ones. “Do you not need or want me?”

That was a double-headed question if Bakugou ever heard one. He looked at your glossy lips, the way they were pouted, so ready to be kissed, to be claimed, and that delirious look of want and need in your eyes. And he knows better; he knows that this is not the place, not the time to act on emotions like this. The need to pee sits heavily on his lower belly, just like the need to cum makes him twitch and pace uncomfortably. God fucking damn his broken to smithereens arms.

But you already know this, of course, you do. But you also know how stubborn he can be, how anal he can be about the littlest thing. So with no answer, you weaken your grip, making him think that you’re ready to leave, and he falls right into the trap.

“Make it fucking q-quick,” his voice cracks, the embarrassment nearly tangible as you nod your head firmly, your fist tightening around his cock.

Your warm fingers pressed onto his length, beginning at a slow leisurely pace, your eyes glued onto his face, detailing how he reacts to every small flick of your wrist, every little difference of grip in his hands. Your strokes began to grow larger, your fingertips tracing the bulging veins on his cock, your eyes hypnotized by the way his face pinches in his pleasure, the blush on his cheeks, the way the hot pants expelling from his mouth curl warmly in your lower belly.

“Y-You do this with all your shitty patients?” Bakugou growls, but it sounds weak, too blurred and slurred with his increasing pleasure.

Your fingernails drag against the underneath of his cock, tracing the incredibly sensitive skin until he’s slowly thrusting his hips into your fist. “Only the hot ones,” you tease, your thumb pressing against the tip of his beading tip, the warm pre-cum slick and spreading quickly against his flushed tip.

“You’re fucking disgusting,” Bakugou continues, his head tipping backward, exposing the slenderness of his neck that begs for your teeth to sink into. “Just needed to take a fucking piss.”

“Nervous, you’ll pee all over me, and I won’t want to suck your dick?” you ask, your fingers brushing near his scrotum, eyes blazing dangerously at the sight of his gasping, jaw-dropping face. His hips rut forward, leaking cock dripping with his pre-cum, and you giggle softly, fisting him faster, spreading the pre-cum against his heated sex.

Your fingers run against his throbbing length, your palm tight and hot against his cock, the veins you drag across searing against your flesh, ingraining itself onto your skin and memory forever. Despite it all, the obvious near tangible horror Bakugou has on the thought of pissing on you, he continues to fuck into your fist. 

“Damn bitch like you would probably l-like it if I pissed on you,” Bakugou pants, his casted arms twitching at his chest. His head tilted away from you, but his eyes burning into you, the red eyes hot as fire against your skin. “You want me to piss on you? Make you my bitch.”

The words burn against your skin, your teeth biting onto your lower lip as you meet his gaze. You’ve never considered it before, never thought you’d be into it. As a nurse, you’ve been around piss, shit, and vomit, and while you had grown unfazed by it, you never considered the prospect of a man pissing on you. But you thought of it, of Bakugou standing above you, free from his casts, hands on his cock as he smirks down at you with golden liquid spraying from his cock, soaking you where you lay. 

You shudder, pleasant chills running down your spine as you stare into his eyes yet again. 

“And if I do?” you ask, fingers rolling the head of his cock between your forefinger and thumb, relishing in the way that he snarls low in his throat. “What’re you gonna do about that, Ground Zero-san? You gonna piss all over your bitch after you get out of here.”

“You want me to piss on you here?” he asks, his voice snappish, strained, his hips drilling harder into your hand that was quickly speeding up. A battle of power and speed between the both of you as he looms over you, face flushed, pink, and lips demanding to be kissed. “Wouldn’t be surprised if you do.”

“Why’s that?” you breathe, his lips tantalizingly close to yours, a breath away as your hand grips and tightens even more around the base of his cock, causing a pained-pleasured hiss to rip from behind his teeth as he looks at you.

“Don’t act like your shitty ass hasn’t been trying to seduce me every time I show up,” Bakugou gruffs, his hips continuing a drilling rhythm into your fist, his body no longer shy or embarrassed.

“So you noticed but never said anything?” you counter, your fingers shifting over to his swollen, hot balls. You fondle them, tugging at their weight gently, taking in the way his eyes roll to the back of his head and the way his teeth tear into his lip. “Coward.”

“Hah?! Who the fuck—”

You can’t help yourself anymore, your mouth coming to slam against his in a piercing, searing kiss. He moans into the kiss, and you gasp back, tongues clashing together, teeth knocking into each other as awkward, nearing uncomfortable kisses are exchanged. His sweet scent of caramel wafts into your nose, and his grunts and groans are addicting, entirely enthusiastic noises that send your own thighs clenching shut to quiet the heated need in between your thighs.

Your hand increases in its speed, his whines and groans so pretty and piercing into you. 

“How fucking gross,” you laugh into his mouth, the slicked heat of his precum lathering your palm until soft noises of your fisting hand begin to fill the sterile bathroom. “You’re a child, wanting to piss on things that you shouldn’t. You came to the bathroom and got a hard-on instead of pissing, Bakugou, aren’t you embarrassed.”

“Y-Y/l/n,” he hissed, his jaw falling slack against your mouth. His hips are drilling into you faster and faster, the throbbing of his cock, the growing, thick scent of his caramel sweat filling the room and your senses. “F-Fuck!”

“Such a dirty, childish pro hero,” you smile your tongue curling into his mouth and dragging against the roof of his mouth as he shudders helplessly against you. “Cum already, Bakugou, cum and piss over yourself like some small brat.”

He shudders, and you find your mouth leaving his own as you stare down, spurting white ropes of cum pour from his tip, completely covering the toilet seat with his sticky white cum. And you watch as soon as his body collapses onto you, entirely spent from the orgasm, yellow piss streaming from his tip.

The toilet fills with his cum and piss, and you grin once his balls and bladder are completely drained. His cock limp and weak in your hand as you hum, your quirk activating and causing the exhausted Pro Hero to recompose himself so that he wasn’t entirely weak against you. 

“Such a good patient,” you coo, pulling up Bakugou’s boxers and hospital pants without a second's thought. Patting his butt gently, you watched as his still exhausted red eyes stared at you. You walked over to the sink, washing your hands so that you could continue to finish the rest of your shift.

“Don’t think this is over, shitty nurse.”

You look at him over your shoulder, your fingers curling under the warm water as you grin.

“I expect to be fucked and pissed on next time,” you counter, your smirk devastating and sending a fire right back to Bakugou’s groin. “No freebies anymore.”

[wickedpact]

dear tumblr user crim wickedpact pls write the essay/dissertation about nicky being shakespeare's fair youth (if you have time, ofc!!)

Not To Imply Nicky Was Shakespeare’s Fair Youth But Ive Read The Fair Youth Sonnets & Nicky Was Definitely Shakespeare’s Fair Youth, an essay by me, tumblr user crim wickedpact

background knowledge: our man shakespeare wrote some 120 sonnets about a young man referred to as the Fair Youth during the mid 1590s; there has been some debate among shakespeare enthusiasts whether shakespeare’s interest in the Fair Youth was platonic or romantic (but like. they were definitely romantic). no one knows for sure who the Fair Youth was, but it was definitely nicky and my first and most important piece of evidence regarding this hypothesis is the ‘lmao babe do you remember that guy who had a crush on me?’/ ‘i try not to remember the guy who had a crush on you’ look joe and nicky exchange when Merrick brings up shakespeare during the movie. especially since gina confirmed in a tweet that joe and nicky canonly did know shakespeare

my second piece of evidence is that it just Works (except for a couple small facts like.. the Fair Youth was prolly closer to his 20s than his 30s. and the fact that shakespeare implies that the Fair Youth slept with his mistress at one point. but he doesnt know what hes talking about shhh we IGNORE)

long post under cut

A. The Description Matches

when describing the Fair Youth (who I’ll call the FY from now on), shakespeare says he has a ‘gold complexion’ and ‘beautiful eyes’ and compares him to a ‘summer’s day’. He says the FY has “A woman’s gentle heart" and “An eye more bright than [women’s are], (...) Gilding the object whereupon [they] gazeth”

As much as shakespeare’s perceptions of sexuality and gender are very........  late 1500′s (whoo boy sonnet #20 is a wild ride) ...... the description does match, and also:

  B. The Fair Youth Refused to Get Married

it’s never really said why one way or another (shakespeare assumes it’s because the FY is selfish) but the FY didn’t/wouldn’t take on a wife and have a kid, and this was something that was a real sticker for our man Willy S. because, as he says in his sonnets a million times: beauty doesn’t last forever, but having a child not only passes down the FY’s beauty, but also blesses the woman the FY would have a child with (im not saying shakespeare wanted to bear the FY’s children, but he definitely did)

Whose fresh repair if now thou not renewest, Thou dost beguile the world, unbless some mother. For where is she so fair whose uneared womb Disdains the tillage of thy husbandry?

(ie. If you don’t renew yourself/ have children, you deprive the world and deprive a woman from having your child, since what woman out there is so beautiful that she wouldn’t want to bear your child?)

Like.

1.) if nicky is the FY then so many of these poems center around the idea of nicky growing old sometime soon and that must have been pretty funny to Nicky and

2.)  the fact that shakespeare would have been So Desperate for nicky to find a wife must have been the opposite of funny to joe. considering the ease of his and nicky’s relationship and the fact that being gay in late 1500s england was probably not a walk in the park, it is very likely shakespeare wouldn’t have known they were in a committed relationship-- or at least not known how close they actually were. Thus:

  C. The Rival (aka. Joe)

shakespeare mentions having a poetic rival in regards to the FY in several sonnets. In sonnet #21 he talks about how he’s not like Those Other Writers who use grand metaphors to talk about their muses

So is it not with me as with that Muse, Stirred by a painted beauty to his verse, Who heaven itself for ornament doth use And every fair with his fair doth rehearse, Making a couplement of proud compare With sun and moon, with earth and sea's rich gems, With April's first-born flowers, and all things rare,

(ie. I’m not like other poets who, when inspired by a ‘painted beauty’ use heaven and every other beautiful thing on the planet to make a grand comparison to their muse: he specifically lists the sun and moon as examples as well as other beautiful things)

He then goes on to say

And then believe me, my love is as fair As any mother's child, though not so bright As those gold candles fixed in heaven's air:

(ie. my love [the FY] is as beautiful as any other beautiful person, though I wouldn’t compare them to the stars/heavens (which is what he means by the 'gold candles’. those are stars.))

So shakespeare insults poets who compare their subjects to the sun, moon, and stars (amongst other things) and in the comics, Joe does literally exactly that

That man is the stars in my sky, and the sun that lights my days. That man is the moon when I'm lost in darkness, and warmth when I shiver in cold.

shakespeare also goes on to say in the same sonnet “Let them say more that like of hearsay well / I will not praise that purpose not to sell” which is to say ‘let people who like that kind of language use it, I wont because I don’t want anyone else to have the subject of my affections (the FY)’.

(which is a bit of a contradiction regarding his feelings abt the FY getting married, but these sonnets are full of contradictions. shakespeare was a confused dude; man spent the first 100 or so sonnets convinced the FY loved him back only for him to start wondering if the FY ever loved him near the end)

(not to mention Marriage For Love wasnt really.. much of a thing in Ye Olden Times but thats a different conversation. so shakespeare prolly didnt associate marriage with love/competition? anyways)

Shakesy-boo goes on to complain about this rival several times. In #79, he says

Yet what of thee thy poet doth invent He robs thee of, and pays it thee again. He lends thee virtue, and he stole that word From thy behaviour; beauty doth he give, And found it in thy cheek: he can afford No praise to thee, but what in thee doth live.

(ie. everything ‘your poet’ (as the FY apparently favored this unnamed rival) says about you, he takes it from you in the first place. he talks about your virtue, but learned the word from watching your behavior. he calls you beautiful but only discovered beauty by looking at your face. every compliment he gives you he took from you in the first place)

[and, as a smaller example, he also bemoans the fact that people want to paint the FY in #67, saying, “Why should false painting imitate his cheek, / And steal dead seeming of his living hue?”. and yknow. Joe’s an artist.]

And then another example in #86

Was it the proud full sail of [the rival’s] great verse, Bound for the prize of all too precious you, That did my ripe thoughts in my brain inhearse, Making their tomb the womb wherein they grew?

Was it his spirit, by spirits taught to write Above a mortal pitch, that struck me dead?

(ie. he’s talking about how he’s having difficulty writing abt the FY and is rhetorically asking if ‘the proud sail’ of the rival’s verses was the reason his ‘ripe thoughts’ were killed in their ‘womb’. He then asks (again rhetorically) if it was the rival’s ‘spirit’ (or creativity, maybe) ‘’’‘by spirits taught to write’’’’ that killed his own drive to write. none of the analyses I’ve read really explain what shakespeare means by ‘spirits taught to write’, other than maybe being a joke or reference to something we dont know, but... ‘taught by dead people to write in a way mortal people can’t’ very much sounds like a description of an immortal poet, eh?)

Which brings me to,

  D. Willy Boy Thinks There Are 500 Year Old Writings About the Fair Youth

shakespeare talks about people having written about the FY ‘500 years ago’ from the late 1500s in #59 which......................... would have been around 1100 AD. :thinking face:

Oh that record could with a backward look, Even of five hundred courses of the sun, Show me your image in some antique book, Since mind at first in character was done, That I might see what the old world could say To this composed wonder of your frame;

(ie. Oh if I could look back 500 years and see how you were described in some old books so I could see/reference what people used to write about you)

Which again brings me to,

  E. I’m Not Saying shakespeare Stole From Joe, But:

1.) In #22, shakespeare says this,

For all that beauty that doth cover thee, Is but the seemly raiment of my heart, Which in thy breast doth live, as thine in me: 

(ie, your beauty is due to the ‘clothes’ my heart gives you-- probably means something like ‘you’re beautiful because i love you’. goes on to say his heart lives in the FY’s chest, and the FY’s heart lives in shakespeare’s chest)

so: shakespeare tells the FY he has shakespeare’s heart. in comparison, Joe calls nicky ‘my heart’ in the comics...... :thinking face x2:

2.) In #109, shakespeare tells the FY ‘thou art my all’,

For nothing this wide universe I call, Save thou, my rose, in it thou art my all.

which rings similar to Joe’s ‘he’s all and he’s more’ as well as (from the comics) ‘he is my everything’

and just saying. joe looks pretty #done the mention of shakespeare.

  F. The last One

Despite shakespeare writing 30+ poems about the FY eventually growing old, the very last poem he writes about/for the FY says,

O thou, my lovely boy, who in thy power Dost hold Time's fickle glass, his sickle hour; Who hast by waning grown, and therein showest Thy lovers withering, as thy sweet self growest. 

(ie. you [the FY] have power over the ‘mirror’ (fickle glass) of time as well as time’s ‘harvesting’ ability (sickle hour) and as you grow older, you remain beautiful while your lovers [shakespeare] wither and grow old)

The transition from ‘get married and have a baby before you get old!!!!’ in #1-20 to talking about the FY’s presence in 500 y/o books in #59 to admitting the FY isn’t growing old in #126 kinda seems to imply shakespeare learning of/about nicky’s immortality at some point, and this last poem is him accepting it.

TLDR: not only does it make perfect sense if nicky was the Fair Youth from the FY sonnets, but it also makes perfect sense if joe was the Rival from the FY sonnets. its canon nothing will convince me otherwise

[jeo9n]

Majesty Pt 7 || JJK

Pairing : Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre : Slow burn,Angst,fluff,virgin reader,King JK,futur smut.

Warnings : jungkook and y/n get in a little fight.

Wordcount : 4.8k

previous | next

You woke up the next day in the same position you fell asleep in. It was honestly really comfortable, cuddling with him like this, you didn’t want to get up. But you had to pee really bad, so you slowly started to remove his arms from your waist, hoping he doesn’t wake up.

You sat up once your were free from his grasp, removing the blanket from your legs and slowly getting out of bed. Both of your feet were already touching the carpet when you tried to get up. "Where are you going?" The King asked you in his raspy morning voice, while grabbing your wrist.

He looked so cute like this. Sleepy eyes, his hair all over the place, with a slightly puffy face. He had a small pout on his lips as he looked at you. You wanted to kiss the pout of off his face.

Wait! What’s wrong with you, why are you thinking like this, Y/n.

He squeezed your wrist, interrupting your thoughts. Catching you staring at him. "Uh I have to use to toilet." You answer awkwardly, cheeks turning red. He smirked, letting go of your wrist.

"Alright."

You quickly went to the bathroom. Getting yourself ready for the day and got dressed. Deciding for a light pink dress for today.

As you headed back in the bedroom, the King was sitting at the end of the bed, already dressed and looking at you. You walked past him to get to your side of the bed, to quickly tidy it up a bit. But he stopped you before you even gotten the chance to walk past him, he grabbed your hand on pulled you towards him, making you gasp. You were standing in front of him awkwardly. "What are your plans for today?" He asked you, putting his hands your hips and pulling you even closer so you would stand in between his legs.

"I don’t have any plans for today, your highness." You tell him, picking at your nails nervously. You could feel the heat of his palms burning trough your dress, making your head spin.

He looks up at you, removing his hands from your hips and putting them on your hands instead. "Spend some time with me today." He says, caressing your hands softly.

"Okay." You nod. Spending some time with him again might won’t be that bad. I mean, he’s your husband. You should spend time with him, right?

You were on walk trough the castle with the King. He showed you all kinds of rooms that the castle had to offer, but one stood out to you the most. It was the library. You always loved books. They made you feel safe, they made you feel like you could escape reality, even just for a short while.

So, that’s where you found both of you right now. You’re walking around, admiring all the beautiful and old books that were standing on the dark wood shelves. The library was huge, you’ve never seen a library this big. You loved it here. The King was standing behind you, just looking at you, loving the way your face lights up whenever you see a book you like.

"You love it here, don’t you?" He asks you with smile on his face, leaning against one of the tables that stand in the middle of the room, with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

"Yes!" You turn around quickly with a big smile on your face. Before turning around again to look at the shelves full of books once again. "You should’ve showed me this place sooner." You say, making him laugh. "I would’ve, if I knew you loved books this much." He answers, walking towards you.

You can feel the warmth of his body against your back. You turn around, already knowing he’s standing behind you. "I can’t believe you’ve kept this beautiful place hidden from me - what else do you keep hidden from me, your highness?" You tell him jokingly.

He laughs, showing you his cute bunny smile that you haven’t seen before. He looks cute this way, nose scrunching up while he laughs, showing you his beautiful smile. You feel your heart beating faster at the sight.

"Nothing." He says as he stopped laughing. "Come on, let’s sit down for a bit." Grabbing your hand, and leading you both to one of the tables.

You both sit down. The King sitting in front of you, never looking away from you. You can feel your cheeks staring to blush, so you look away. You can’t handle eye contact very well.

"You know." He starts, making you look back at him again. "Back at the competition, you said you’ve never been with a man before, right?" He asks you and you nod. "What do you mean by that?" He asks you once again. You look away again.

He knows exactly what that means, judging by look on his face. "I think.. you know what that means, your highness." You tell him, without looking at him.

"No, I don’t. Tell me, Y/n, tell me what you mean." He tells you with a smirk on his face.

You bite your lip nervously. You don’t know how you should tell him. I mean, this is nothing to be ashamed of, don’t get me wrong. But he obviously knows, so why is he asking you to explain? "It means," you huff. "It means that I’ve never done something with a man, your highness. The only thing I’ve ever done, was holding hands with a boy once! And that was when I was like 5 or something." You tell him, avoiding eye contact once again.

"Not even Kissing?" He asks you and you shake your head. "How come?"

This time you look at him. "Ive always wanted my first kiss to be with someone I love. Not with just anyone." You shrug. "A kiss for me is more than just kissing, it’s being intimate with another person, it’s sharing your feelings for one another. Sharing it with just anyone wouldn’t be as special as with the person you love, you know?"

He nods. "Would you kiss me?" He asks, tilting his head to the side.

Your eyes widen. Your face suddenly turning red. "Uh I don’t know." You laugh awkwardly.

"Have you ever had any sexual thoughts before?" He asks you suddenly with a serious face. Completely ignoring his other question. "I mean, your not a little girl anymore. You had to have some thoughts about sex at one point." If your face was red before that, than your face must be on fire right now. His question startled you, not expecting him to ask you something like this.

Of course you thought about sex before, everyone does. That was a stupid question.

But why is he suddenly asking you all of this.

"Uh, yeah... sometimes. But don’t worry! Im not a pervert or something." You chuckle awkwardly. Embarrassed that you even told him this. He looks you straight in the eyes, his eyes holding something you cannot read.

He smirks at you once again. "Oh, I’m sure you’re not the perverted one here, Y/n." You furrow your eyebrows at that, not knowing what he means. "Have you ever touched yourself before?" He continues.

You almost choke on your own spit. You weren’t expecting him to ask you someone like this - Why does he keep asking you all these sexual questions? You really don’t want to answer this question. You try to come up with something different, to ask him something different instead. But you see that he’s still waiting for your answer, arching his perfect eyebrow at you. "Have you?" He asks again.

"Uh- I... i haven’t, your highness." Lying him straight in the face. You have touched yourself before, yes. But that’s something you don’t like to talk about, you never talked with anyone about this kind of stuff. That’s something too intimate for you. You’re sure he wouldn’t want to talk about wether he touches himself or not either.

He hums, obviously not believing your lie. "Does that bother you, your highness? That i don’t have any experiences?" You ask him worriedly. Your question makes him furrow his eyebrows at you. "Why would that bother me? Because your a virgin?" He shakes his head. "I like that you’re a virgin - I like that you’re untouched, Y/n. I like it more than I like to admit." He tells you, seeing something shift in his eyes again.

His words Relief you. You thought, maybe he wanted a experienced girl, someone that knows what to do in bed. But he chose you. So, it clearly doesn’t bother him. "Okay."

"Do you have any questions for me?" He asks you this time. You don’t really have any questions to ask him right now - no, wait! You do.

"I noticed that your parents weren’t at our wedding, were they busy?" You ask. You wanted to ask him this right after the wedding, but you forgot about it.

"Ah no, they weren’t busy, Y/n. They’re dead." He says, looking at you. You feel your heart shutter at his words. You did not know this! If you knew, then you wouldn’t have brought this up. "My parents died in an accident when I was very young."

This breaks your heart. You feel so sorry for him, knowing that he lost his parents at a young age. That must’ve been so hard for him. You wouldn’t know what you would do if you lost your mother, and he lost both of his parents at once, that’s so sad. "I am so sorry for you loss, your highness! I shouldn’t have brought this up. Please forgive me." You quickly apologize.

"It’s okay. It’s not your fault, You don’t have to apologize." He tells you honestly, which makes you relax. "Also, stop calling me your highness. We’re married, Y/n. You don’t have to keep calling me that."

"Oh, then what should I call you?" You ask him.

"Jungkook, You can call me Jungkook. Or what ever you prefer." He says, while reaching out and grabbing your hand. "What I prefer? What would you like me, to call you?" You ask him as he caresses your hand.

He grabs your hand a little tighter, making you look down at both of your hands. "We’ll talk about another time." He smirks. "For now, you can call me Jungkook."

You smile. "Okay... Jungkook." You tell him, and he smiles back at you, showing his pretty bunny smile again.

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

It’s been a few days since the day at the library. Ever since then, Jungkook has been really nice to you. Always asking how your day was, if you ate enough or if you got enough sleep. He also tries to spend as much time with you as possible whenever he wasn’t busy.

Right now your having breakfast with him. Maria baked some delicious food for you both to eat. You were eating your food slowly, trying t enjoy the food as much as you can. Jungkook seemed to be in a hurry tho. He ate his food quite fast, you were scared he was going to choke on it. "Slow down. Why are you eating so fast?"

His fork was inches away from his opened mouth, about to shove his last piece of food into it. But he stopped, once he heard you speak. He removed the fork from his mouth and looked at you. "I need to hurry up. I have some important things to do today!" He tells, shoving his fork right into his mouth.

His cheeks were stuffed with food. The sight reminded you of a bunny once again, cute. His wide doe eyes sparkled under the chandelier that was hanging above you two. He looked so innocent, he looked like an eager child that tried to eat all their candy before they get caught by their mother, not like a King.

"What kind of important things?" You ask him, putting down your glass of orange juice.

"I have to get some things done, things that I should’ve done a lot sooner." He answers you, while he wipes his mouth with a napkin.

"Oh, okay." You murmur. "Can I come with you? - You said I wasn’t allowed to leave the castle alone again. And... I don’t really have anything to do here. Can I please come along with you?" You ask carefully. He shakes his head right away before he speaks up. "No. Those are things that I have to do alone!"

You huff, letting your shoulders fall. Disappointed with his answers. "But why? I’m fine with just coming along. I won’t talk, I promise! I won’t do anything to bother you. Please let me come with you. Im so bored here all the time." You pout, and he smiles at your reaction. "No, Y/n. You stay home! I’m sure you wouldn’t want to see those things that are gonna happen today."

His answer confuses you. It’s just work. What does he mean you don’t want to see it? "What do you mean?" You ask him, confused look on your face.

He looks at you amused. Not understand why you want to come along so bad. "Hmm how should I explain." He says, tapping his finger against his chin. "These things... they’re a little dangerous, you see. I don’t want my beautiful wife to get hurt during those things. That’s why you should stay home!" He explains to you, saying those last words a little more clearer. But your still confused. But you don’t question him any further, accepting that he doesn’t want you there with him.

"I understand." You nodd. "I’m sorry for asking, your highness." He raises his eyebrows at you. "Hey! I told you to stop calling me that." He tells you in a serious tone, but still having a smile on his lips.

"Right! Im sorry, Jungkook." You laugh.

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Jungkook left for work 30 minutes after you both were done with breakfast. He said, he wouldn’t be out for long, telling you not to miss him too much when he left. You rolled your eyes at, which earned you a laugh from him.

You literally had nothing to do today. You were in your room most of the time, waiting for Jungkook to come home. You even took a nap, hoping the time would go by faster. But he still wasn’t home when you woke up. You decided to get out of bed, not wanting to fall asleep again. You walked towards the library, wanting to read a book that you saw there a few days ago, when you were in there with Jungkook. But you found out the doors were locked when you tried to open them. Weird.

Since the library was locked, you decided to walk down, smelling something delicious coming from the kitchen. "What Are you cooking?" You asked Maria when you reached the kitchen. She jumped a little when she heard you coming from behind her. "Dear, you almost gave me a heart attack." She says, rubbing her hand over her chest.

You felt sorry, it wasn’t your intention to startle her. But you couldn’t help a little laugh to come out of your mouth. "I’m sorry, Maria. I thought you heard me coming down." You laugh, giving her a small hug to apologize. She glanced at you jokingly. "I didn’t. I was focused on cooking, my dear." She explains. "But, to answer your question. Im cooking kimchi stew, it’s the King’s favorite." She says with a smile on her face, showing you the food she just made.

Your mouth started to water, once she took the lid off the pot. It looked as amazing as it smelled. It probably tasted amazing as well. "That looks so good!" You tell her, before she quickly put the lid back on. "Does that mean the King will be home soon? I mean, since your preparing the food already."

She looks at you and smiles, nodding her head. "Yes! He should be home soon - Why? Are you missing him already?" She jokes, and you laugh, shaking your head at her. "No, it’s not that. It’s just really boring without him here." You quickly explain. "Doesn’t it ever get boring for you?"

She points her finger at her chest. "For me? No, no. I have a lot of stuff to do everyday. It never gets boring for me. If it ever gets boring for me, it just means I’m doing my job right." She shrugs. She’s right. Of course it doesn’t get boring for her. If you worked here, it probably wouldn’t get boring for you either.

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

You went out into garden, wanting to get some fresh air to wake you up a bit, since you were still a little tired from your nap. You sat on the bench, the one were you had to sleep on a few weeks ago.

You were enjoying slight breeze against your skin, while the sun was shining down on you. A perfect mixture of both, hot and cold. You heard some rustling behind you, making you turn your head around to look where it came from. Your eyes scanned around the garden, before they landed on a bush. There you saw some movement, and then the rustling. You got from the bench and walked towards it, curious about what could be hiding in the bush. Crouching down, once you were in front of it. You reached out your hand to push back back the branches that were blocking your sight. The movement stopped right always, once you touched one of the branches. Whatever it was, probably scared of you. You kept pushing back a few branches, until you found what you were looking for.

There was a small grey bunny with floppy ears, in a corner far away from you, hiding from you. You gasped in excitement, you weren’t expecting it to be a bunny. It looked so cute, so small with its floppy ears that were a little too big for their head. You reached out your hands trying to pick the bunny up. But it pushed itself deeper in the corner once you did. Poor bunny, it was probably scared to death. You didn’t want to harm it. You reached out your hands again, trying to pick it up before it could run away from you.

You tried to comfort the bunny, once it was in your arms. Patting it, trying to calm it down. You could feel their heart beating really fast, you felt sorry. You didn’t want to scare it. The bunny looked really small, it was probably still a baby. You wonder how it got here. It should be with their mother, not alone in some garden.

You walked back inside with the bunny still in your arms, not wanting to let it down so it could run away again. You grabbed some carrots and some water for it, once you were inside. You went to your room to feed the bunny, without having to fear it will run away from you. You put the bunny down and held the carrot out for it, checking if it was hungry. The bunny took a few sniffs of the carrot immediately started eating away. "Aw poor you. You were probably looking for something to eat." You say when you saw how eagerly it ate. It almost ate the whole thing, before finally taking a sip of the water you had put into a bowl for it.

You suddenly panicked. Not wanting the bunny to pee or poo on the carpet. Not wanting to get in trouble with Jungkook. You quickly took it and brought it to the bathroom. It wouldn’t be too bad if he peed on the tiles, you could clean those easier. You left the bunny alone for a bit, to get some more carrots and other vegetables for it.

You noticed Jungkook was already home when you walked down the stairs. You did not hear him coming home. Probably because you were too focused on the bunny.

"Hi." He greeted you when you got to the last steps of the stairs. He looked exhausted and out of breath. "Hey!" You greeted him back. "Did you run all the way home, or why are you so out of breath?"

He shakes his head and let’s out a little chuckle. "No. I just brought something heavy up here, that’s why I’m out of breath." He explains himself.

"Okay. Where is it?" You ask him, and he looks at you confused. "The thing that you brought up here." You say. His eyebrows are furrowed, before understanding what you mean. "Ah, I’ll show you later. Let’s have dinner first." He says, grabbing your hand and leading you to the dining room.

I guess the bunny has to wait for his food a little bit.

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

After dinner, you were curious about what the King would show you.

You were both walking down a hallway one that you haven’t seen before, one that you didn’t even know existed. It was a little darker than the other ones in the castle, but it didn’t look too different. You stopped in front of an old heavy looking door. Jungkook took the keys, that he was holding in his left hand to his right. Looking trough the many keys before eventually finding the one he was looking for. He pushed the key and unlocked it. Turning his head to look at you once again before opening it. A strange smile on his face.

He opened the door, and you were immediately met with coldness. Pure coldness, it made you shiver instantly. They were stairs that led you down. You saw nothing but darkness. You looked at him confusingly. "What is this, Jungkook?" You ask him a little worried.

He smirks. "You’ll see." Was all he said. Before he started waking down. Dragging you with him. Nothing was heard expect for Jungkook‘s your yours footsteps. That’s how quiet it was down there. It got colder and colder, as you got deeper down. You saw some light, once you were all the way down. Illuminating the dungeon just a little bit. You heard some whining and grunts coming from somewhere. You were about to ask Jungkook what was going on, but he dragged you somewhere before you had the chance to. You stopped, once you reached what Jungkook wanted to show you. You looked around you, trying to see what this place was. And your eyes widened at what you saw in front of you. You saw cells all around you, most of them had people in them, only a few of them being empty. The people in the cells were mostly man. They had no clothes on expect for their underwear, they looked like they hadn’t eaten or slept in days. Their skin was pale, dirty and full of bruises. Their bones were showing. They had no food or water, neither had they a blanket or a bed to warm them. Most of them were laying down, sitting, or either hugging themselves, trying to give themselves some warmth.

You were shocked. You would’ve never expected a place like this in to exist in the castle. Right under you, right under where you lived, right under where you lived happily. You couldn’t believe this. You had expected anything, but not this! Your body starts to shake, either from the cold or from what your seeing in front of you. How could someone to this? This is horrible. "Y/n, look." Jungkook shakes your hand, interrupts your thoughts. You turn your head to look away from these poor people, instead you look at jungkook in shock. "Look who we have here." He tells you, evil smirk on his face. Pointing towards two another’s cells.

You gasp and your eyes widen even more, if that’s even possible. Right in front of you are two man you recognize immediately. How could you not? These two were people you grew up with. They were around you all the time. They even were your neighbors once. "Jungkook, what is this? What is going on?" You ask him in a shaky voice, trying to take your hand out of his grasp, but instead he grabs your hand tighter and pulls you closer to him. "Those are the two man that touched you without consent,right?" He asks you, not taking his eyes off of them.

How did he find them? You never told him their names. "Yes. But why are they here? Let them go!" You tell him, hearing them whine in pain. "I told you not to worry about it! Why did you bring them here?" And he laughs, he actually laughs at you. You furrow your brows, not finding this funny at all! "What? Did you really think I would just forget about it? Forget what you told me about them? Forget what they did to you?" He says, almost yelling at you. "These man deserve nothing but punishment, Y/n! Why did you try protect them? Huh?" He ask you, now looking at you. "I will personally make sure, that they will never touch another woman against her will again! Never!" He yells angrily.

You jump at his tone, not expecting him lash out like this. You take your hand away this time, surprising both you, and him at your strength. "How did you find them? I never told you their names?" You ask him, raising your voice. He has the audacity to laugh again. "Y/n, I’m the King. It’s not hard for me to find out who you were talking about, it wasn’t hard to find them at all." You cannot believe this. Yes, these man touched your without your consent, but what gives him the right to punish them for it? It should’ve been you, not him!

You take one last look at them, before you walk away. You were so mad at him. You did not want to see his face anymore.

Jungkook called out for you but you didn’t care. You quickly walked out of the dungeon, leaving him down there alone.

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

You quickly went back to your bedroom. After grabbing some vegetables, remembering why you came down in the first place.

You immediately went to the bathroom when you got back to your bedroom, checking on the bunny right away. You saw that it had peed a little so you quickly clean that up. After that you gave it the veggies that you had grabbed and sat down next to him. You were still in shock at what you saw a few minutes ago. Never in your life would you have thought, that the King would so something like this. Having people down there and torturing them. How is that even allowed? And your still mad at him for getting those man and locking them up down there. You two got along so well these last few days, and he had to fuck it up. And the fact that he looked so proud when he showed them to you, makes even more mad. What did he even think was going to happen, did he think you would jump in his arms and thank him? For that? Ugh you can’t believe him.

You heard him entering the room, calling out for you. You got up and the left the bunny behind, you hope he doesn’t freak out when he sees it. You opened the bathroom door, and there he was, sitting on the bed. Probably already knowing that you were in the bathroom. "Are you serious, why did you leave?" He asks you, when you got out of the bathroom and closing the door behind you. "Are you not even going to thank me, for what I’ve done for you?" Omg you can’t believe him!

You furrow your eyebrows at him. "Are you serious, Jungkook?" You say pointing at him, voice irritated. "I should thank you? For torturing someone?- I did not tell you their names for a reason! If I wanted you know their names, then I would’ve told you!" You tell him, walking towards your side of the bed. "You better let them go."

And he laughs again. His stupid laugh, it’s starting to annoy you. "Let them go? Oh, baby I will. But let me have some fun with them first." He says, the pet name throwing you off guard.

"Ugh I don’t wanna talk with you anymore." You say, rolling your eyes and getting into bed. Just wanting to fall asleep so the day could end. "Are you serious?" He asks you, but you don’t answer him. Instead you turn around and close your eyes. You hear him letting out a annoyed chuckle, before he starts to undress. Judging by the sounds of it. A few minutes later you feel the bed dip behind you, before he lays down.

You two did not cuddle that night.

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Taglist: @fangirl125reader @min-nicoleee @yzkyzkuniverse @safi4x @zoeshinelove

[tiens-letters]

butterflies flutter even in the most bloodstained of battlefields

Xiao (angst)

....

It was one of those nights again.

Where all was serene, creatures alike basking in the tranquility of the world once the moon above floats over the existence of everything. To where wars stopped for rest and yet one soul amongst many had no time to do so.

"Alatus." what a familiar name he thinks as he floats around in the void, the darkness to which seemed not consume him just like before and then he wondered where he is right now is the place of all endings. It was pure nothingness and it seemed more comforting than the land he was supposed to protect, riddled with war and the ever evolving generations of humanity.

If this was the end then so be it, he wouldnt ask for more. He could finally rest his weary head and think and replay all the good days while awaiting reincarnation and he prayed. He hoped for a better rebirth and into a place of peace.

"Alatus." there was it again, the name he's forgot during the spoils of war. A name he thought he'd never hear again or even spoken by someone's lips.

"Wake up please." but his eyes were fully open, his body aware and yet he felt alienated, out of place. He realizes that his skin never felt a thing and only the harrowing reality that this place was a farce.

As if it were the clue to the puzzle, the darkness broke and fell apart into a field, marred with bodies piled atop each other, the red sun above blessing those under it the horrors of a never ending terror that scorched their skin and drove them towards the brink of madness. His polearm, sullied with grime and blood. It felt heavy, like the burden he carries upon his shoulders. A little bit more and he would have lost himself too. He stood above it all and looked at the vast battlefield before him, the very nightmare he's always experienced. Just he himself standing, alone and cold, the suffocating air heavy with the stench of tarnished blood.

There were no grassy fields with a clear sky nor the old and ancient land of liyue that he grew up in and fought for.

A lone butterfly dances in the midst of it all, his body weightless as he followed it. Wondering why it called out to him in a silent way yet its presence itself made him feel at ease.  Perhaps this was his salvation from being damned to this world, a small glowing butterfly. He wanted to touch it but he felt undeserving to for such an action, he might curse it as well. His eyes was set alone on its fluttering feat, not noticing the bodies he walked past nor the souls that called out to him.

And then it burst into a million, pieces of light, engulfing him in its warmth.

He welcomed it.

"Xiao!" he gasps, like his very first breath into existence and then he could feel everything there is and there was.

That's right, there was still you, beautiful eyes fully blown into worry, that face of your torn into agony at the thought of him never waking up next to you. Not feeling his skin upon your and his lips gracing your immortal soul.

You embraced him with relief, clutching his body that was filled with nightmare tremors.

"Thank you." he whispers against your neck, the sweat from his forehead sticking to you skin and you didnt care. Even if you both were covered in dirt or grime, even if both of you were tarnished by blood, nothing mattered except that you both are breathing and feeling.

"I thought Ive lost you in that wasteland, Alatus."

He kisses you with all he has, all the pent up emotions he could never say, all the love he feels for you was conveyed into actions, those hands that held a weapon of war now cupping your cheeks and all you could ever feel was his deeply rooted affection towards you. it was as if to remind him that you were still there, the sole reminder of a better world. a better life.

You who he's dedicated his heart to and not anyone else. the first of everything. sure it was a bumpy ride in the beginning as he was like a newborn babe to the emotions such as love and joy but as time took every step, the road seemed to smoothen by its grace and it became easier to approach these newfound feelings. you were glad to be blessed by the geo archon to have a long life so  that you can offer your all to the land you helped protect and build and now to the man before you. Your dearly torn Alatus. 

"Rest well my dear." 

...

It was truly the end of the line. 

Everywhere was in utter chaos, modern Liyue now fraught to ruin as an ancient God had been awakened, one you thought had been sealed away and the demons you guardians once kept away came bounding back tenfold and hungry for blood and destruction. The city that has been built from the ground crumbled , as you fought once again, just like all those years ago side by side with your comrades. People were dying as you strived to protect every single soul with your hands and just like before, several others dropped to your feet, lifeless and tossed apart like a rag doll.

You were tiring, sharp movements turned sluggish as you tore down anything evil that you came across, you prayed to whichever good god was still alive that the people had run to safety so that you could unleash your last card. A trick you've vowed to never use again as long as you are alive and the situation permits it so and yet you've run out of time. if you didnt do this now then everything would really turn to ash and nothing would bloom ever again. 

Standing in the middle of the onslaught of monsters that never seemed to end, gnashing teeth nipped at your barrier only to be repelled back by a force that seemed to lose its energy. You sighed, the last ever peace you'll get to feel as the karma pushed you over the edge. 

"Xiao." and as soon his name poured out your lips did he appear, an urgent look in his eyes as he slashed down any monster that came near. 

"Its time." his mouth hung open, unable to find the right words to counter you, how could he? when duty was above everything, especially in the relationship you both had that bloomed from the most ancient of days. Liyue came first above all else, that was what you swore as Morax blessed you on the day of your early death. You were thankful to him that he's allowed you to live even with the price of servitude. 

"Thirty  seconds." was all he could muster up to say from all the torrential words that swarmed his head. just thirty seconds of peace with you was all he wanted before you walk the remaining steps towards the end. 

"Alright." there was peace as you allowed it, nothing from outside was heard only the ragged breathes that came from both of your lungs. There were no monsters only two immortal beings that longed for peace, and in those weary eyes was hope for a tomorrow. 

"I love you." he whispers pulling you close, those thirty seconds slowed as he held you tightly, his skin engraving the memory of you deep within. "I love you. Dont forget that." 

"Even if I pass on, you will always be in my heart. Even if time goes on, your name remains on my lips. Even if everything crumbles, you in your own self will always be with me as I am with you. So my dear, my dear sweet Alatus, dont you ever cry when you wake up tomorrow to an empty bed, dont look for me when all Ive ever been is right beside you. Instead, rejoice for there is another day you get to experience for the both of us and if time allows us once again, which I am confident it will. I will  find you just as you've found me." 

this was your parting vow. 

your peaceful barrier broke and once again you were back in the cruel reality you faced and will face till your death. Your lips find his and for the last time in this life, you poured every ounce of you in it. Your eyes had no tears and only hope and acceptance as you broke away. 

"I love you." and then that was the end of your own book. 

Billions upon billions of butterflies burst from you, touching every dirty, disgusting thing, purging it off this world once and for all. Your duty was fulfilled, your contract has ended and now you are free. There was nothing to worry about except to wait for the right time to find you way back to him. 

Now, everything was at peace again. 

Xiao, the man you've left behind for the time being stood alone once again with a single butterfly perched atop his forehead. 

.....................................................................

i will get to the requests after a few days. Please bear with my low creativity juice and dwindling will to can.

[peachscribe]

peach’s summer book list

i had a lot of fun compiling the list of books i read during the 20-21 winter, so i decided i would do a summer one as well! i still have a lot of books i own but haven’t read, so im definitely not lacking in material

if you didn’t see my winter list, how my book list works is basically like this: i read a book that i own but have not previously read, write a short summary immediately after finishing the book, write down my thoughts on the book, and then provide a rating for the book. i also might include background info on why i read this particular book/feelings about the author, but that depends on the book. that’s how each entry works

without further ado, let’s get started!

1. Grasshopper Jungle by Andrew Smith

okay so i absolutely adore another book by andrew smith (written after grasshopper jungle) called the alex crow. it’s one of my favorite books of all time, so naturally i wanted to see if grasshopper jungle would make me feel similarly. just like the alex crow, grasshopper jungle’s plot is. so fucking weird. it stars austin szerba, a teenage polish kid who lives in ealing, iowa, and is often sexually confused regarding his girlfriend shann and his best friend robby. and in ealing, iowa, austin and robby accidentally and unknowingly unleash an unstoppable army of huge six-foot-tall praying mantis bugs that only want to do two things: fuck and eat. and i just have to say: andrew smith’s got an absolutely dynamo writing style. alex crow is similar, where it’s a book about kind of everything all at once, framed in a moment centering around teenage boys. it’s fantastic, and it’s more than a little gross, and i love it. this book made me feel so many things, and i thought austin was such an amazing narrator and main character to identify with. this book has it all: shitty teenage boy humor, fucked up science experiments, and poetic imagery that will make you want to cry. and explicit lgbt characters.

412/10 andrew smith what do you put in your water i just want to know

2. Burn by Patrick Ness

patrick ness has written a plethora of some of my favorite books (such as a monster calls, the chaos walking trilogy, and the rest of us just live here) so when i saw this one in the store i knew it would be a great one. burn is an alternate history fantasy that takes place in 1957 frome, washington, during the height of the cold war, and it begins with a girl named sarah and her father hiring a dragon to help out on their farm. but there’s not just dragons, farm living, and cold war tensions; there’s also a really shitty small town cop, a cult of dragon worshippers and their deadly teenage assassin, a pair of fbi agents, and a prophecy that sarah’s newly hired dragon claims she’s a part of. i think eoin colfer’s highfire was on my winter list, which also featured a story that included dragons and shitty cops, so when i first began burn i thought it was funny to have two books that had both things. you know, if you had a nickel etc etc. but that’s really where the similarities end because burn is entirely it’s own monster (dragon). burn is entirely invested in its world, and its fascinating. not only that, i had no clue where the book would take me next. there were so many surprises and amazing twists that honestly just blew me away. this book also includes beautifully written complicated discussions on family, race, and love - it features interracial and queer romances as the two most prominent romance plots which was such a nice surprise from a book i wasn’t expecting to have that kind of representation. this book is witty, fast-paced, and a very heartening read - i absolutely adored it.

9/10 dragons and becoming motivated by the power of love and friendship are so fucking cool

3. As Meat Loves Salt by Maria McCann

i hate this book! as meat loves salt is a historical fiction novel which takes place in seventeenth century england, which is going through a grisly civil war. the protagonist, jacob cullen, is a servant for a wealthy household and is engaged to another servant in the house. but due to certain events that are almost entirely jacob’s fault, he flees the house and is separated from his wife. from there, he joins the royal army and meets a kind soldier, ferris, and the two become fast friends. jacob and ferris’s relationship begins to bridge past friendly, and jacob struggles with his homoerotic feelings as well as the growing obsession and violence inside him. also, they try to start a colony. listen, i don’t know how to describe the book because so much happens, but it basically just follows jacob and all the terrible decisions he makes because he is, truly, a terrible person. ferris is kind and good, and jacob is scum of the earth. he sucks so bad. the entire time i was reading this book (which took absolutely so long), all i wanted was for jacob to just get his ass handed to him. i wanted to see him suffer. and it’s not like i just personally don’t like him - i believe the book purposefully depicts him as unsympathetic even though he is the narrator. i did enjoy the very in depth and accurate portrayal of what life would’ve been like in seventeenth century england, and i think it was interesting to read a character that is just the absolute worst person you’ve ever encountered and see him try and justify his actions, so if you enjoy that kind of thorough writing, then this book would be perfect for you. however, i did not see that bitch ass motherfucker jacob cullen suffer enough. i’d kill him with my bare hands.

2/10 diversity win! the worst man on earth is mlm!

4. This Savage Song by Victoria Schwab

i know ive had a friend tell me how great one of schwab’s other book series is, but truthfully i bought this book because the cover is sick as hell and it was on a table in the store that advertised for buy two get one free, i think. something like that. anyway, this savage song takes place in a future in which monsters, for whatever reason, suddenly became real and out for blood in a mysterious event nicknamed the phenomenon. august flynn is one of these monsters, but he takes no pride in that fact and only wants to feel human. kate harker is the daughter of a ruthless man and is trying her hardest to be ruthless, too, but deep down she knows it’s just an act. their city, verity, stands divided, and kate and august stand on either side - but when august is sent on a mission to befriend kate in the hopes of stopping an all out war, the lines begin to blur. this book rules. august and kate are such interesting and dynamic characters, and the narrative is familiar while still being capable of twisting the story around and taking the feet out from under you in really compelling ways. this savage song is part of the monsters of verity duology, and i can’t wait to dive into how the story continues and finishes.

11/10 sometimes you can judge a book by it’s cover

4a. Our Dark Duet by Victorian Schwab

this is the sequel and finale for this savage song and i’d figure i’d update everyone: fantastic ending, beautiful, showstopping, painful.

12/10 loved it and will definitely be keeping an eye out for schwab’s other books

5. White is for Witching by Helen Oyeyemi

oh boy. okay. white is for witching is about a house, and it is about the women who have lived inside of it. when her mother dies abroad, miranda silver begins to act strangely, and there’s nothing her father or her twin brother seem to be able to do about it. she develops an eating disorder and begins to hear voices in the silver family house, converted to a bed and breakfast by miranda’s dad; and she begins to lose herself in the house and the persistent presence of her family legacy. white is for witching switches perspective dizzingly and disorientingly between miranda, her twin eliot, miranda’s friend from school named ore, and the house itself. this story is a horror story as much as it as a tragedy as much as it is a romance as much as it is a bunch of other things. oyeyemi brings race, sexuality, nationality, and family into this story and forces you not to look away. this book is poetry.

(like i mentioned briefly, this book heavily deals with topics of race and closely follows miranda’s eating disorder. read responsibly, and take care of yourselves)

15/10 this book consumed me and i think i’ll have to read it another 10 more times to feel it properly

6. These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong

okay. okay. strap in for a ride. these violent delights is a romeo and juliet style story, taking place in glittering 1920’s shanghai. the city stands divided - not only between the foreign powers encroaching on chinese land, but also between the scarlet gang and the white flowers, who are at the height of a generations-long blood feud. juliette cai, heir to the scarlets, has recently returned from four years abroad and is determined to prove herself ruthless enough to lead. roma montagov, heir to the white flowers, is standing strenuously on his place as next in line due to a slip up four years prior and is desperate to keep hold of his title. and in the midst of juliette and roma’s burning history with each other threatening to combust, an unnatural monster lurks in the waters of shanghai, loosing a madness on scarlets and white flowers alike. this book has it all - scorned ex lovers, political intrigue, deadly monsters, and all set on a glamorous backdrop of the roaring twenties. i absolutely was enraptured by this book and the way it plays around the story of romeo and juliet so well that it easily became it’s own monster, but with the punches and embraces of something classically shakespearan. gong does just an absolutely breathtaking job of fitting this fantastical story amid the larger world of shanghai and the real life historical events that had shaken the city to its core. completely immersive and outstandingly heart racing.

17/10 i was chewing on my fingernails for the last thirty pages and will continue to do so until the sequel is released (our violent ends, 16 nov 21)

7. The Antiques by Kris D’Agostino

you ever heard of the american dysfunctional family story? this is most definitely that. at the same time george westfall’s cancer takes a turn for the worse, a hurricane hits the east coast, and suddenly all at once the issues of his health, the hurricane, and all three of his children’s achingly dysfunctional adult lives are crashing into each other. reunited by george’s death, the westfall siblings have to face their grief, each other, and the problems in their own lives they attempted to put on hold while planning their father’s memorial. this is a nice story about grief and loss and love and somehow finding the humor amidst it all.

(this book does include a depiction of an autistic child who does experience several pretty bad meltdowns due to ignorant people around him not understanding how to cater to his needs. im not an authority on what depictions are or are not harmful, but i do believe this depiction is ultimately loving and well-intended.)

7/10 it made me laugh and cry and was generally one of those books that somehow hit you close to home

8. Fierce Fairytales by Nikita Gill

fierce fairytales is a poetry anthology that reimagines classic fairytales from a modern, feminist viewpoint, acknowledging that the line between hero and villain, monster and damsel, are not as clear cut as the classics try to make you believe. this book also includes illustrations done by the author herself, which i think is really cool. my personal favorite story reimagining was the story of peter pan and captain hook, called ‘boy lost’ which looked at how peter and hook’s relationship began and rotted. all in all, i think this collection of stories had a lot of important things to say and said them in frank, easy to understand poetry and prose.

7/10 beautiful message and pretty prose, but at times a little cliche

and that’s all from the summer! my fall semester starts tomorrow, and overall i feel very good about all the reading i did this summer. i even read four other books not on this list for work! so i definitely feel like i made the most out of my time, and im really glad i was able to read so many stories that made me feel a variety of different things

thanks so much for reading this list, and let me know if you read or have read any of these books and tell me what you think of them!

happy reading<3

[arctickat2400]

Pains <> Harry Styles

You were sleeping on your recliner in your bedroom after reading a bit while waiting for your husband Harry to come home. He was hesitant about leaving you this morning for work considering you’ve been having huge stomach aches these past few weeks. They’ve gotten to the point where you wake up almost screaming, but they stop after a minute or two. You didn't think it was bad enough to go to a doctor for yet, so you haven’t, and Harry is still worried about leaving you. He would hate himself if something happened to you and he wasn’t there to help you through it.

It was close to midnight when Harry came home, locking the front door behind him. He set his keys and wallet on the entry table as he makes his way towards the kitchen and living room.

“Y/N, baby, I’m home.” Harry shouts in a whisper. He didn’t know if you were sleeping or not so, if you were, he didn’t want to wake you. He starts upstairs and peeks into your shared bedroom. He sees your closed eyes and your peaceful state. With a sweet and relieved smile on his face, knowing you’re okay, he walks into the room and towards you.

Harry gently places his hand on your stomach that is slightly shown from your shirt being pulled up, rubbing up and down with his thumb. He leans down and kisses your forehead. He wanted you to know he was home, but he knew you were exhausted, so he didn’t wake you.

Harry carefully undresses you, leaving you in your bra and underwear. He tucks you in, making you comfortable. He knew you’d want him to stay with you, but he left you to rest. Harry went downstairs, settling himself at the bar with his laptop and getting a little work done. He would’ve done his work in the bedroom so he could keep an eye on you, but he didn’t want to make too much noise.

* * *

It was almost 2 in the morning and you suddenly woke up. There was a sharp pain in your side, and you could feel another stomach ache coming. But, after a minute, the pain went away. You stood up from the bed, the floorboards creaking beneath you.

You barely took one step when the sharp pain came back, even worse than before. Your stomach began aching, and the sharp pain cut across your stomach. You let out an ear piercing scream, this being even worse than it's ever been. You held your stomach in severe pain as you fell to the floor, banging hard against the wooden floorboards.

Harry’s POV

I was just about done with my work for the night when I thought I heard the creak of the floorboards from upstairs. I couldn’t be sure, but it was probably just Y/N getting up to the bathroom.

Just then, not a second later, I heard a glass-breaking scream, followed by a bang on the floor coming from upstairs. I didn’t hesitate as I threw myself from the bar and flew upstairs, rushing into the bedroom. What I saw broke my heart and I didn’t wait even a second as I rushed to my baby girl, lying on the floor and struggling to get onto the bed.

“Y/N, what the hell happened? Are you okay?” I questioned as I picked her up and set her on the bed. Her eyes were closed but I knew they were red, and tears streaked her cheeks as she sobbed in pain. I looked down to see Y/N covering her stomach in pain. I knew what was going on.

“Okay, Y/N, I’m gonna help you through this. You’re going to be okay.” I told my wife. I tried prying her arms away from her stomach, but she just put her arms back where they were.

“Y/N, I need to help you.” I told her as she cries. I could tell she was trying to open her eyes, but it looked hard for her. “But, I can’t do that unless you let me.” I explained, trying to be calm, though it physically hurts me to see her in so much pain. She cried out as she just barely nodded. She slowly released her arms from over her stomach as I guided them to her sides.

I placed my hand on her stomach, knowing it'll help ‘coz it always helped when Y/N felt sick or was hurting. But, when I just barely touched her, she winced and flinched back, replacing her arms over her stomach.

“NO!” She screamed. “It hurts to much.” She cried to me.

“Ok, baby. I’m gonna get you to the hospital. Just stay calm for me, alright?” I said, hovering over her. I look across the room and make my way to get one of Y/N’s long sweaters. Sliding it over her head with difficulty, I pick her up in my arms and take her to the Range Rover after grabbing my keys.

I place her carefully in the front seat, buckling her in and rushing to the drivers side. I drive 5 minutes to the hospital, running inside to the reception desk.

“Something’s wrong with my wife and she needs a doctor now.” I panic to the woman as she eyes Y/N and the fragile state she’s in. She looks past me to see a doctor or two there in the hall. She waves them over with a hospital bed as they run over to me and Y/N.

“What’s going on?” One of the doctors questions, motioning for me to put Y/N down on the bed. But, as I was about to put her down, she clutches my shirt in her fist.

“No, Harry, don’t let me go!” She screams, snuggling her head in my chest and her other arm wrapped around my neck.

“I’m right here, baby. I won’t let go.” I tell her and the doctors begin leading me down the hall, Y/N still in my arms.

“She’s been having bad sharp pains in her stomach for the past 2 or so weeks to the point where she’s screaming and crying. And tonight, I found her screaming and on the floor. She won’t let me touch her stomach because she says it hurts too much and it’s tender to the touch.” I pause as I set Y/N down on the bed in the room the doctors led us to. I held her hand and sat behind her, holding her against me. Cries and whimpers escape her as she snuggles into me. “And I’ve noticed her belly has been a bit swollen and I don’t know what any of this means.”

Just then, Y/N lets out another ear piercing scream just as the doctors were hooking her up to heart monitors and machines. One of the doctors put an IV into the inside of Y/N’s arm and the other came and placed a morphine shot to her stomach, telling me it will help with the pain. Y/N calmed down, cries and whimpers still audible as I stroked my fingers soothingly through her hair. My shirt was still balled up in her fist as she flinches every now and then in pain.

The doctors call in some nurses to help figure out what’s wrong with Y/N. They first give her a sedative so she’ll sleep through most of the pain. As Y/N falls asleep in my arms, I wipe away the tears stained on her cheeks.

Your POV

The beeping from the heart monitor runs through Harry’s ears as the doctor feels around your stomach. He, then, lifts your shirt and takes a monitor, placing it against your belly, guiding it around as he looks at a small screen beside him.

“What are you doing?” Harry asked, confused, his eyebrows furrowed.

“We might know what’s causing Y/N’s pains.” The doctor says, his eyes switching from your and Harry and back to the small screen.

“It’s very rare, but sometimes a woman can experience severe pains in the abdomen in the early weeks and stages of her pregnancy, along with a bit of a swell with pain.” The doctor explained to Harry. He was astonished to say the least.

“Wait, are you saying Y/N’s pregnant?” Harry tried to understand.

“Now, I believe so.” The doctor turned the screen towards Harry to show him a sonogram of a small baby which was in fact growing inside Harry’s wife.

Harry never knew, never even had that thought. But, now that he thought about it, his heart fluttered and a tear threatened to spill from his eye as he stared at the screen.

Harry’s head fell to look down at the most precious thing in his life, you. A small smile came to his lips, his thumb stroking your cheek, as he imagined starting a family with you. He’s always wanted a family with you, though wishing you didn’t have to go through all that pain to do so.

The doctor stood up, and just before he was about to walk out the door, “Wait, is she gonna be okay?” Harry asked about you.

“Yes, Y/N and the baby will both be just fine.” The doctor paused and the rest of the nurses and doctors made their way out. He started back towards the bed. “Y/N is about 4 weeks along, and for women who experience those pains, they should last only 2 weeks. The pains should be gone now, but we will prescribe Miss Grace with pregnancy safe medicine that will help with the pains if they ever do come back. But, she will be okay, along with your baby. Congratulations, Mr. Styles.” The doctor smiled to Harry as he walked out, leaving you and Harry alone to rest.

You stayed asleep for a little while longer as Harry held you in his arms. He set his hand on your belly, realization hitting him that he was going to be a dad in a matter of months. He was so happy, he couldn’t hold back a few tears. One accidentally fell onto your cheek as Harry wiped it away, and you started to stir.

Harry stroked his fingers through your hair as you nudge your nose into Harry’s stomach. He chuckled quietly as you felt around for Harry with your long sleeve covered hands.

“Harry?” You questioned as you looked up.

“Hey, Beautiful.” Harry smiled calmly at you. You began to sit up, you laying back beside Harry as he laid beside you. You lay your head against his chest.

“How’re you feeling, Baby Kitten?” Harry questioned you, holding your head against his chest as you wrap your arms around his torso. He places a kiss to the top of your head as he holds you.

“I’m not really sure. I little ill feeling, I guess, in my stomach. Still really tired, but fine otherwise.” You finished.

“Does this hurt?” Harry asked, placing the slightest pressure onto your belly. You sighed in relief at Harry’s gentle touch.

“No, not really. It’s not as bad as it was before. You’re free to touch it whenever you want now.” You giggle, looking up at Harry, and he joins in, happy to see your smile again. He leans down and presses his lips to yours, guiding your chin towards him.

He releases you and he brings your head back to his chest. You close your eyes, hoping to get more rest in Harry’s arms.

“Did they find out what’s wrong?” You question Harry, setting your hand on his chest.

You can hear the smile on Harry’s voice as he answers. “Well, all I can say is that little Baby Styles was conceived 4 weeks ago and is now living in that adorable belly of yours.” You looked up into Harry’s eyes in shock before he could even finish as he stared down at you, his hand on your belly.

“You’re kidding me?! I’m… we’re pregnant?!” You hesitate, and knowing the answer was yes as Harry smiled down at you with a sparkle of adoration in his eyes. Tears began streaming down your cheeks.

You sighed as you wrapped your arms around Harry’s neck, his carefully tightening around you, holding you close to him.

“But, what about all the sharp pains in my stomach?” You challenge, slightly pulling away from Harry as you stare into his eyes.

“Though rare, the doctor said some women experience some sharp pains during their first few weeks of pregnancy. Though not common, it wasn't not normal. But, you’re okay and so is Baby Styles.” Harry tells you as he places his hand on your belly again, caressing it with his thumb. Harry leans down again and kisses your forehead as you sigh in contentment.

Soon, around 5 a.m., the doctor came in to check on you and Harry was able to take you home. He guided you down the hall to the receptionist. She checked you out and gave Harry your prescribed meds.

Since he only had time to put a shirt on you, leaving you in only your underwear and barefoot, Harry had picked you up bridal style in his arms as you wrapped your arms around his neck, being carried to Harry’s Range Rover. He placed you gently inside, kissing your cheek and walking to the other side as you buckled up.

Pulling into your driveway, you got out, not worrying about walking barefoot on your driveway, Harry holds his hand out for you as you take it, helping you out of the car, leading you hand in hand to the house.

It was still dark outside, and you were still exhausted. “Hey, baby, how bout you go upstairs to bed and I’ll be up in a minute. I’m just gonna put your medicine away.” You nod in understanding as he pulls your head to him and places a kiss to your forehead before making your way upstairs.

You slip out of your shirt and slide into bed, closing your eyes as you wait for Harry. Not a minute later, you feel a warm hand on your belly, his thumb caressing your skin. You smile in satisfaction as Harry bent down, hovering over you, and placed a kiss to your 4 week pregnant belly. He fell into bed next to you after taking his shirt off, and pulled you against him, covering you in the duvet.

Harry kissed the back of your head and set his hand on your already growing belly as you moaned peacefully. Harry nudged the back of your head with his nose in response. You closed your eyes once again, falling asleep in Harry’s strong but gentle embrace.