#jeon jungko

[jeo9n]

Majesty Pt 11 || JJK

Pairing : Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre : slow burn,angst,fluff,virgin reader,king jk,future smut

Warnings : they have a little fun in the shower

Wordcount : 5,525

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"jungkook, can you bring me a towel, please?" you call out to him from the shower.

you were in such a hurry to get into the shower earlier that you completely forgot to bring a towel with you.

you’ve been having these wet dreams about jungkook recently, almost every single day. you don’t know when they started and why you’re having them, all you know is that they keep leaving you all wet and sticky with an uncomfortable ache between your thighs.

you’re deep into your thoughts as you hear the door opening. jungkook comes in approaching you with the towel that you asked for in his hand. you quickly try to hide your naked body from his wandering eyes as much as you can as he comes closer to you. "why are you always hiding your body from me, huh?" he chuckles. "we’re married, y/n. you don’t need to hide from me - let me see." he says in a playful tone, trying to get a look of your naked wet body that your desperately trying to hide from him.

you can see a grin growing on his face.

you let out a little giggle in return. "then why haven’t i seen you naked yet?" you ask in the same playful tone, as you carefully reach out your hand to quickly take the towel from him, but he snatches it away from you, making you pout. "it’s unfair, you know…" you tell him, pulling your arm back in the shower. "if you see me naked, then i want to see you too." you tell him, hiding behind the door.

his eyes widen slightly before the smirk from earlier appears back on his face. "well, then what are we waiting for?" he asks, as he already starts to strip the clothes off his body.

"wait, no! i was just joking, jungkook." you try to quickly tell him, but he doesn’t listen. instead, he keeps on getting undressed. "nah." he shakes his head. "there’s no way of backing out of this now, y/n." he tells you while taking of his underwear.

you quickly cover your eyes with your hands, already feeling your cheeks getting red just from knowing he’s standing naked in front of you just outside of the shower.

he slowly opens the glass door of the shower before he steps in, now standing directly in front of your naked body.

"you can look at me, you know." he laughs.

you shake your head at him. "no i cant, jungkook, your naked." you say, taking a step back from him to create some space between your bodys. you can hear him laughing, as he takes a step closer to you. "that’s the point, y/n. you take showers naked." he tells you, reaching for you hands that are covering your eyes. he carefully takes your hands off of your face, keeping them in his warm hands. you keep your eyes closed though, not knowing if you should open them or not, you think about it for a while, should you open them? you wonder. you don’t want to, not trying to be disrespectful. but, you’re curious to see, curios to see what his muscular body looks like without the clothes. you’re eager so in the end, you end up opening them. i mean you have to, you want to get out of the shower, and if you want to get out of the shower safely and not slip and maybe break your neck, or even worse. you slowly start opening your eyes until they’re fully open, keeping your eyes on his though, not daring to look anywhere else.

your eyes are immediately met with his and he gives you a soft smile. "see that wasn’t so hard, now was it?" he asks, slightly tilting his head to the side.

you shake your head as you bite your lips, fighting the urge to not break the eye contact. he’s staring so deeply into your eyes that it makes your face heat up, your sure your face is the same color as a tomato right now, if not darker.

jungkook on the other hand is fighting for his life to not let his eyes wander around your delicate untouched body. he’s trying, he really is. but the way your heavy breathing make your breast move - it’s almost like they are asking him to look, but he doesn’t. for now. instead, his focus is back on your blushing face.

"why are you so shy, huh? - it’s not like we are strangers, we are married, y/n." he tries to make you loosen up a little, "we even sleep in the same bed and all that, so why are you still so shy?"

"that’s different, jungkook."

"what’s different?" he asks. "this! this is different." you tell him "yeah, we are married and we sleep in the same bed, but - but we haven’t seen each other naked before.." you say the last words almost in a whisper while breaking eye contact. you couldn’t look into his eyes anymore. ugh this is all so embarrassing.

"you’re right. but seeing each other naked would’ve happened at some point anyway, y/n. if that happened to be now or some other time, it doesn’t really make a difference." he says and he’s right! it really doesn’t make a difference, but you weren’t prepared for this, you thought that would’ve maybe happened in a maybe more romantic way, not in the shower while you were washing away the results of the dirty dream you had about him, but it’s too late now anyway. you cannot change that now, he is standing right here in front of you. "yeah, you’re right." you huff. he gives you an assuring smile when you look at him again which makes you feel better so you return it.

"i haven’t even looked anywhere else except for your eyes. if that makes you feel better - even though i really want to." he says, squeezing your wrists.

and it does make you kinda feel better "same." you smile. should you let him look? you wonder. what he said earlier was right, you going to see each other naked at some point anyway, so why not let him get a look now and get it over with. you bite your lip as you think, and the sight makes jungkook go crazy. all he wants to do is slam your body against the hard cold tiles and fuck you stupid. but once again, he fights back and holds still. "y-you.. you can look if you want?" you say suddenly which startles him, though it sounding more like a question.

"are you sure?" he asks, making sure he was hearing you right. you nod at him, still biting that damn lip of yours. "use you words, y/n. i need to hear you say it."

"if you want… then you can look" you say quickly

and he shakes his head.

"not if i want, y/n. do you want me to look?" he asks looking into your eyes to see if you really want this.

"….yes." you whisper.

and that’s all jungkook needed to hear. as soon as the words left your mouth his eyes wandered down your body. he looked you up and down with prying eyes, almost as if he discovering a woman’s body naked all over again. even though he has seen a numerous amount of naked women in his life. but for jungkook it felt like it was, your body wasn‘t even comparable to all the other woman he has seen before. your skin looked so smooth, your curves, your hips, your legs everything was perfect, so perfect that he couldn’t believe your were all his. your breast were sitting on your chest perfectly. - everything about you was so perfect he thought. so perfect and your were all his.

his bold staring made your body heat up and slowly the warm aching between your legs returned, never has a man looked at you in this way, never has a man even seen you naked before, and now here you are. it all happened so quick.

jungkook’s eyes kept admiring the art that was in front of him. his eyes slowly went down lower your body where his eyes stopped down at your pussy. you felt your cheeks heat up even more from him looking at your private part and embarrassingly you crossed your legs. to hide from his prying eyes and desperately trying to get some friction to ease the ache.

jungkook bit his lip, noticing what you were doing immediately. he took a deep breath trying to calm himself down, as all the blood in his body rushed to his cock. he just couldn’t take it anymore. he waited for this moment so long already. he needed to touch you, now.

"can i touch you - please let me touch you, y/n." he asks in a desperate voice. you‘re a little taken aback by his sudden question.

and you nod.

"say it." he say, breathing harshly. trying to control himself.

"you can touch me, jungkook." you tell him. being as desperate for him to touch you as he was.

and he wastes no time. his hands leave your wrists and they slowly start tracing up your arm, leaving you with goosebumps everywhere his skin touches yours. your eyes follow his hands every movement as they trace almost every part of your body. your body feels hot as you start getting flashbacks of the dream you had earlier and all you can think about is him, his lips, his touch, his scent, his naked body in front of you, it makes your head spin.

your deep in thoughts when he suddenly grabs your left boob and squeezes it. you gasp definitely not expecting him to do that.

he takes a sharp breath in. "fuck. i wanted to do that ever since i stepped foot in this fucking shower." he admits, now palming both of your boobs. you let out a soft whine as his warm hands continue to squeeze your breasts. you didn’t know something as simple like this would feel this good.

"fuck. let me hear that again." he tells you, looking at you with hooded eyes before they move down to your lips, still squeezing your breasts with his large hands. you let out a small moan, while squeezing your legs even tighter, desperately trying to create some friction.

jungkook let’s out a groan at the sight in front of him, your not making this any easier for him and his dick. his hands move from your breasts down to your hips, pulling you closer to him. your chest touches his and you both take in a deep breath at the contact.

his face is so close to yours that you can feel his breath against your lips.

suddenly he leans his head to the side, moving closer to your face. you lips slightly touch before jungkook finally kisses you. the butterfly’s in your tummy are going crazy and your head starts to spin. this is so different from that one kiss you’ve shared before. this once is way more intimate, way more emotions and way more desperate.

jungkooks hands move from your hips towards your ass, squeezing it so good it makes you moan into the kiss. your own hands wander around his body, touching him for the first time since he has joined you in the shower. jungkooks muscular chest feels hard against your hands as you explore every single part of it.

your hands move up his face cupping his cheeks to deepen the kiss before they move to the back of his neck, grabbing his hair, slightly pulling it, the action makes jungkook moan. and you swear the sound alone made you wetter than you’ve ever been.

"let me touch you, baby. let me make you feel good." he says, chasing your lips. not wanting to stop kissing you. your lips are so soft and he wonders what they would feel like around his dick. he thoughts are going crazy. all because of you.

he pushes you even closer to him wanting you too feel his hard dick, wanting you to feel what you’re doing to him. his hard dick touches your stomach and he whines at the contact. all he wants to is fuck your tight little hole until you cry out his name. "let me touch you like you touched yourself that one time in the library, baby." you only half listened to his words too focused on his dick rubbing against you to notice the words that just left his lips.

"touch me, jungkook. please." you whine desperately.

jungkook moves fast, his hands are on your pussy in no time. grabbing your pussy roughly, making you moan. "open your legs for me, baby." he whispers into your ear. you obey right away and open your legs for him. giving him access to your untouched pussy.

"good girl." he says, kissing your neck, which makes you shudder.

his fingers leave your private part to gently caress your hips, your bum, your inner thighs. so, so close to your pussy that it makes you crazy. his pointer finger grazes clit slightly and you think he’s finally about to touch you, but he doesn’t. he keeps tracing your thighs, ever so often leaving feather light on touches on that one spot where you want him to touch you the most.

he’s teasing you and he enjoys it. he enjoys the look on your face everytime you think he’s finally about touch you and finally make you feel good. he’s enjoying all of this.

you whine when you can’t take it anymore. "jungkook, please do something."

"so eager. aren’t you, baby. so eager to finally have something between your legs.“ he whispers softly into your ear.

you nod at his words and he smirks in responds. his fingers start tracing your pussy when he stops at your clit, where he slowly starts to rub circles on your bundle of nerves and that alone makes you moan. "you like that, don’t you?" he says with hooded eyes and a grin on his face. you quickly nod. "ugh yes." you answer him.

"fuck, your so beautiful, baby." he moans, moving down to your hole collecting your wetness before he moves back up to your clit picking up the speed. "you looked so hot that day at the library." he says, but you barely listen. how could you when he’s abusing your clit so deliciously. "i just couldn’t look away. i wanted to, i promise, y/n." he continues. "but seeing you there, legs spread, touching yourself, fuck! it’s like you wanted me to watch." he says, sliding his finger down your hole where he carefully starts pushing a finger in. the feeling of having something inside of you was weird at first , it was a weird feeling that you weren’t used to, but you did not try stop him. to eager for pleasure.

a little while after it started to feel good, so good you moaned out in pleasure as he continued abusing your tiny hole.

"you looked so pretty pleasuring yourself, how could i ever look away from that… i just couldn’t help it. you got me so hard that day, fuck - all i wanted to was to fuck you on that table, have you screaming my name, until that’s the only thing you know, but i knew i couldn’t do that. so i jerked off while watching you, like a fucking creep, imagining how your tight hole would feel squeezing my dick." he moans. "you don’t know hard i came that day, baby. just by thinking about it." he tells you, you let out a moan of his name in respond. he was making you feel so good. all you could focus on was the pleasure he’s giving you, it feels so good, but you want more.

"ugh, more, i need more, jungkook." you whine.

"you need more? want me to stretch out your little hole with my fingers, huh?" he says, pushing a second finger in, pumping his fingers in and out of you with so much speed. "oh, fuck!" you moan out in pleasure. the pleasure he’s giving you could not even be compared to the pleasure you have given yourself.

"jungkook, baby. ugh - feels so good." jungkook grins at that. you look so fucking hot like this, the way your breast bounce up and down by the movements of his hand. his head reaches forward, taking on of you breast into his mouth, sucking on it, while his other hand comes up and squeezes the other. he’s making you feel so so good, it doesn’t take long for you to feel the knot in your abdomen to start forming. "i - im gonna c-cum." you stuttered.

"yeah?" he asks, as he starts pump his finger even faster into you.

"let go, baby. let me hear you make those beautiful sounds." he says, rubbing his thumb on your clit.

that’s all you need to let go.

your pussy is clenching and cumming all over his fingers. jungkook kept pumping his fingers into you until you couldn’t take it anymore. "t-too much." you tell him and he grins, pushing his fingers into you a few more time before taking his fingers out of you, whine at the empty feeling. jungkook watches you as he takes his fingers into his mouth , tasting you while he hums at the taste. before he removes his fingers out of his mouth and points them to lips.

"open up, baby." he tells you. and you do as he says.

he sticks his fingers into your mouth. "taste yourself." he tells you. you close your lips around his fingers. he moans at the way you’re sucking at his fingers, as he feels his cock twitch. he was so focused on making you feel good that he totally forgot about his aching boner.

you follow his eyes down his cock, and you gasp at the sight or at the size, or both, you’re not sure. jungkook laughs at your reaction.

"what? never seen a dick before?" he asks with a chuckle as he removes his fingers out of your mouth. you shake your head as you can feel your cheeks heating up. - well, obviously you haven’t seen a dick before.

he starts giving his dick a few lazy strokes and he lets out a soft moan at the sensation it’s giving him. "let me help you." you say, as you reach out your hand, but he stops you before you could touch him. "you don’t have to. this was about you, about you feeling good, not me." he tells you, while still stroking his cock.

"are you sure?" you ask.

"yes. don’t worry about it."

"okay." you say, letting you shoulders fall.

he laughs at that. "come on, let’s get you cleaned up and get out of the shower. you can make me feel good another time." he says, kissing you one last time before he turns the shower back on.

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

you’re currently in the dressing room trying on different dresses for tonight’s ball. the maids squeeze you into on dress after another, wanting to find you the best dress for tonight’s occasion.

it’s aramella‘s yearly ball that jungkooks holds every year at his palace. you’re really looking forward to it since this is your first ever ball. you’re curious to know how it’s been decorated, you’re curious to know how it will go, you’re curious to know how many people are coming and who is coming - even though you probably don’t know any of them. you’re curious to know how it will go. but you’re most excited about the food, knowing that maria probably cooked all kinds of delicious food. you’re just so excited.

you’re being pressed into what feels like the hundredth dress and you swear you can hear your rib cage cracking from how tight it’s been tied at your back. you can hear gasping behind you and all the maids claim that is the perfect dress for tonight when they step back to take a better look at you. you turn around to look at yourself in the mirror and you immediately agree to what they said. it is the perfect dress. it’s a light blue dress and it looks perfect on you. it matches your skin tone and your hair color well, it hugs your body perfectly and your happy with the maids choices.

"what do you think, your majesty?" the older maid standing by your side asks.

"i love it!" you smile, admiring yourself in the mirror. she claps excitingly in responds. "ah, great! im sure the king will love it just as much as you do."

"now let’s hurry up and get you out of it. we still have a much more to do, and you still need to take a bath and get yourself all ready for tonight." she tells you, already untying the strings at the back and you can finally breath again.

-

you took a nice hot bath and relaxed a bit before you started washing your body. you wanted to stay in the warm bath much longer, not wanting to get out and get greeted by the cold air.

the weather has gotten so much colder the last few weeks since winter started to approach and you hated nothing more than that. you did not like the cold, you did not like the rainy wet days, you did not like always having to dress warm so you wouldn’t catch a cold, you did not like not being able to sit out in sun and relax, you did not like anything about it. the only thing you enjoyed about was being able to lay in bed all cuddled up while wearing fuzzy socks and being cuddled against jungkook, but that was it.

you quickly got dressed into own of your gowns. you did not look for something nice to wear since you had to change again anyway. you were brushing you hair when jungkook came into the room.

"there you are." he says as he approaches you. "was looking for your pretty face everywhere." he admits, standing behind you, hands on your shoulders lightly massaging them. "why were you looking for me?" you ask as you relax against his touch.

he shrugs. "just wanted to see you." he tells you, looking at you through the mirror. you smile at him.

jungkook has been so nice to you lately, more than usual and it makes you happy. he used to be so cold to you, but these days that has changed. he leans down to kiss your neck, which creates goosebumps on your skin immediately it reminds you of that day in the shower everytime he touches you like this and you won’t admit it, but you secretly wish he would touch you like that again.

"are you excited for tonight?" he asks you, leaving a trail of wet kisses on your neck down to your exposed shoulder. "i am." you nod and look at him. you can feel him smiling against your skin. "i’m glad." he says, giving you one last kiss before he stands up straight. "i still have a few things to do, but i’ll see you tonight." is the last thing he says before giving you one last kiss before he makes his way towards the door.

"see you tonight." you smile.

-

you were on your way to the ball with jungkook by your side, holding his left forearm.

he‘s wearing a light blue suit that matches your dress. though his being a way lighter blue than yours, almost looking white if you weren’t looking closely enough. but you cannot forget the signature gold buttons that decorated the front of his suit. he’s looking extremely handsome tonight.

there were already a lot of people there you when both you and jungkook entered the ball. you weren’t expecting so many people to be here. i mean, you knew a lot of people would come, but not this many and it wasn’t even all of the guests yet. you felt a little overwhelmed.

jungkook did not leave your side once, standing close next to you the whole time. even when he was having various conversations with people, always staying by your side, rubbing small circles on the back of your hand with his thumb while you two hold hands or having his hand rest at your lower back, dangerously close to your ass.

it wasn’t until an older approached you, who introduced him as king of meldonia to you that jungkook had left your side. the older man has asked him to speak to him more privately, meaning jungkook had to leave you alone even though he really did not want to.

so here you were, left alone not knowing what to do once you were left alone. you hoped jungkook would came back to you soon and no one would come up to you and try to talk to you since you sucked at keeping conversations alive let alone with royal people.

but luck really wasn’t on your side today was it?

"y/n."

you turned around as a familiar voice called out your name. you were immediately greeted by seokjin, king of caspian as he was already standing in front of you.

he stood in front of you with an adoring smile decorating his face. "it’s a pleasure seeing you again miss, y/n." he says as he reaches out his hand to you.

"oh! hello." you greeted him as you layed your hand in his. him being the gentleman that he was, pulled both your hands to his face, where he gave a delicate kiss on the back of your hand which lasted a little bit too long for your liking.

you quickly took your hand back once he let go, maybe a little too quick judging by the look on his face. "i was not expecting to see you here tonight." you tell him, he gives you a soft chuckle at that.

"oh, really? how is that?" he asks amused.

"i don’t know - well, to be honest, i didn’t know who i could expect here tonight." you chuckle a nervously. "i mean, i barely know anyone here expect for you, your highness. i think you’re the only person that i actually know here, except for jungkook, of course." you nervously tell him, picking on your nails out of habit.

he laughs and takes a step closer to you. now only standing centimeters away from your body. which makes you slightly uncomfortable so you take a small step back, hoping he doesn’t notice it.

"i attend aramella’s ball every year, y/n." he chuckles. "of course you can not know this though, since you haven’t been here before. but it’s okay. it’s also okay that you don’t know anyone here, they are not important. you know me, i thinks that’s more than enough." he says, cocky tone to his voice.

you laugh uncomfortably not knowing what you should say in response.

"you have gotten so much prettier since the last time i’ve seen you." he say suddenly, taking a step closer to you again. "it’s a shame you’re a married woman." he tells you with wandering eyes. "if only i had gotten my hands on you first." he says, lightly caressing your arm.

you feel extremely uncomfortable right now.

you desperately wish for jungkook to come back. where the hell is he?

you just let out a uncomfortably chuckle.

"may i excuse myself? i am not feeling very well." you quickly come up with a lie.

"yes. of course. is everything alright?" seokjin asks you as his hand leaves your arm to come up to your forehead to check your temperature.

"yes!" you say almost a little to quick moving your head away from his hand. "i think i just to sit down for a bit and rest." you bow to him and turn around to get away from him as fast as possible.

you find yourself in one of the laundry rooms as your close the door behind yourself letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. that was a really weird encounter you had with king seokjin. what did he mean "if only i had gotten you first" he is such a creep.

your hear the door opening and your head turns so fast you swear you almost broke your neck. "oh my god! you scared me." you say with your hand on your chest as you see it was jungkook.

he chuckles. "sorry. i did not mean to - what are you doing here? i was looking for you." he asks you he as he closes the door and comes closer to you. "i don’t know." you sigh. "i just needed a little break."

he looks at you worried. "why? do you not like the ball? you were so excited for it."

"no! it is really nice. i- i just.."

"what is it?" he asks. "tell me."

you sigh. " i just had a really weird encounter with king seokjin, and it made really uncomfortable so i quickly made up a excuse so i could leave." you confess

jungkooks gaze hardens. "what did he do? did you he touch you, my love? cause is swear if he did i -" he stops himself from saying another word. not wanting to scare you away again.

you shake your head. "no." you say softly. "i mean, yes. he stroke my arm which i did not like, but it wasn’t that." you let out a breath.

"continue, y/n."

"he has said something really weird to me. if only he had gotten me first. what does he mean by that, jungkook?" you ask him looking up at him.

he clenches his fists looking away from you, into the dark window. "he must be mad!" he says angrily. "how dare he says something like this to my wife at my ball." he breathes sharply. "i will make sure he shall never speaks another word again." he rumbles in anger as he’s trying to leave but you stop him as you reach for his arm.

"jungkook, no. don’t." you tell him as he turns around to look at you. "don’t do anything. you don’t have to."

"y/n, he is not allowed to speak to you like that. you’re my wife. i will not allow that."

you sigh. "fine. go speak with him, but please do not do anything stupid. promise me!"

"i promise." he says through gritted teeth. you smile at giving him a hug, feeling his tensed body.

jungkook scares you when he’s like this. but you try not to show it.

-

jungkook called the ball off after what you have told him. he was mad at himself that he wasn’t there for you when seokjin approached you. he was at seokjin for speaking like that with his wife. he wanted to hurt him but he had promised you that he would do anything. i mean he could he hurt him behind your back and make sure you will never find out, but he won’t do that. he will go have a chat with him about it but he if he says something stupid he is not sure if he can control himself.

jungkook is getting distracted by you as you come out of the bathroom in nothing but a night gown, a really short one, so short he can almost see that your not wearing any underwear underneath. you know you chose the right choice of clothing when you him you see him eyeing you up and down.

"you look beautiful."

you smile. "thank you, you too." you confess as you go to lay down, but he catches you, sitting you down on his lap. you gasp in surprise.

"jungkook!" you slap him against his chest. "stop scaring me like that."

he laughs at you. he laughs sounds beautiful. like music to your ears. "i am sorry. i could not resist." he tells you, tucking a hair behind your ear.

"don’t let what seokjin said get to your head, okay? - he’s always been like that, a little weird." he laughs again and you join.

"i won’t. it just caught me a little off guard, the way he was acting and what he said. it was a little weird." you repeat and he laughs again. "yea.. come on let’s go to bed. it’s late." he says, picking you up and laying you down on the bed, hovering over you. he leans down to your ear. "the next time you’re not wearing underwear to bed, i won’t be able to control myself, darling." he whispers into your ear, making you gasp. he gets up from the bed with a smug grin on his face.

"im gonna go wash up and then i will join you in bed."

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

i know i haven’t updated in a really long time and i’m not even sure if anyone will still read majesty but i hope you enjoy the new chapter anyway:)

[angellesword]

BAGGAGE | JJK (14)

Summary: Drowning in debt and blood, Jeon Jungkook knows he's better off alone, lest he brings people down with him.

But one drunken night changes everything.

In a blink of an eye, Jungkook found himself drowning not only in debt and blood, but also in dirty diapers and judgmental stares from you, a.k.a his long-lost love and the guardian of the son he didn't even know existed.

Genre and warnings: best friends to lovers, co-parenting, idiots in love, slow burn—really slow burn, mutual pining, angst, fluff, implied smut, kissing, minor character death, slight getting back together, cursing, blood, stabbing, loan sharks, OC cusses excessively so watch out, hurt/comfort, implied/referenced gang rape/non-con, non-graphic rape/non-con, non-consensual drug use, sexual violence, physical violence, vomiting, food poisoning.

Pairing: dad! Jungkook x adoptive mom!Reader

Word Count: 8k

← Previous Chapter (13) | Next Chapter (15) →

⚠️‼️WARNING!!! TRIGGERING SCENES AHEAD. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. PLEASE MIND THE WARNINGS ABOVE!!! ⚠️‼️

*****

Jungkook woke up feeling wet kisses splaying on his face. He begrudgingly opened his eyes, neck stiff because of his unforgivable sleeping position across your bedroom door.

"Mornin' Kookie~," 

"Hmm?" Jungkook blinked. His brain had yet to catch up on what was happening, but his blurry eyes could already make out the tiny figure of his son.

He saw Soobin waving his little hand and smiling down at him.

"Soobin?" Jungkook blinked. Soobin beamed at him in response, prompting Jungkook's sleepiness to be washed away. He unconsciously wrapped his arms around Soobin's body to pull him closer.

"Kookie, hello!" 

Jungkook winced when his son embraced his neck and tried to climb over his shoulders. It's true that children had the energy of Olympians. Jungkook wasn't able to protest when Soobin decisively climbed his shoulder, using it as a foundation to reach for the doorknob.

Soobin didn't hesitate. With a twist, the door flew open.

Shit.

Jungkook was caught off guard. He was leaning on the closed door, so he and Soobin fell sideways when it opened. Thankfully, he immediately caught his son and protected his head from colliding on the tiled floor.

Jungkook breathed a sigh of relief. That was close. Hell would break loose if you saw even a small bruise on Soobin's skin.

"What's wrong with you two?" Your voice sent shivers down Jungkook's spine. Speak of the person, and they shall appear. His decelerating heartbeat spiked up again at the sound of your pissed-off voice.

Jungkook was forced to flick his gaze on you. He was surprised to see you on the ground. 

You appeared to just have been woken up, too. You scratched the back of your head and yawned.

"Did you sleep on the floor near the door?" Jungkook couldn't help but ask. He sat up and helped Soobin get on his feet, wanting to check if his son got injured. But before Jungkook could do so, Soobin was already jumping into your arms.

"Ma!" Soobin pulled at your neck, visibly making you cringe. It solidified Jungkook's conjecture that you also dozed off on the floor.

However, you vehemently denied it.

"Soobin, no hugging for now. Your Mama got a stiff neck from sleeping against the door."

"I did not sleep here!" You growled at Jungkook as you fought a yawn. This was in contrast to how softly you whispered to Soobin to lay low with the hugs.

Jungkook dramatically gasped, acting all scandalized. "It's not good to lie in front of your kid, you know~."

For some reason, Jungkook was in a good mood. You, sleeping on the floor and against the door, hinted that you weren’t as unaffected by what had happened a few hours before. You probably listened to Jungkook's speech with your ears against the door.

Perhaps you went as far as almost opening the door for Jungkook—this was dangerous wishful thinking, though. Jungkook had to force himself to shake the thought away. There was another way to see if you intended to allow him to stay.

Call him selfish, but Jungkook wanted to test that theory. He licked his lower lips, eyes ogling at you, who was unconsciously mumbling that your neck only hurt because you cracked it the wrong way.

"I know how to relieve stiffed necks." Jungkook started before trailing off. He couldn't stop himself from staring at your neck.

Jungkook forced himself to clear his throat.

"Do you want me to massage your neck?"

The thought of physical contact would make you recoil if you were disgusted by an ex-convict. Jungkook's hands were clammy. It was his idea to test the waters with you, but it didn't mean he wasn't nervous. He had only developed the habit of smiling, joking, and thinking about sexual stuff when things were making him anxious. It was his coping mechanism.

A few seconds had passed now. Jungkook was half expecting you to reject him, already content with the thought of feeling your neck pulse.

At least you were alive, Jungkook thought. You were alive and near him. This should beenough. You also hadn't explicitly told him to go, so he could—

"Alright."

Jungkook's train of thought paused at that. He didn't know if he ever whipped his head so fast it felt like it almost snapped.

He didn't care. Jungkook had to look at you and confirm if he heard you right:

He did.

"You can massage my neck later." You carried your son and stood up. You unconsciously purred when Soobin kissed your cheeks and requested omurice for breakfast.

You looked pointedly at Jungkook. "You heard your kid. He wants to eat. Chop, chop, Kook."

You didn't wait for a response and just went straight out of the bedroom and to the kitchen.

Jungkook breathed out, suddenly feeling hollow. But in a good way. The anxiousness filling his heart was emptied.

He smiled to himself. Omurice sounded good for breakfast.

***

The neck massage was scheduled another time even though your neck was stiff now. Blame it on your phone, which had been ringing nonstop.

"It's the team." You rolled your eyes, though one could see that you weren’t annoyed. It was more of a fond gesture.

It was lunchtime now. Your breakfast went well. You and Jungkook dropped Soobin off at the daycare. The kid's schedule was packed since it was the school's foundation day. Jungkook didn't want to leave Soobin alone, but the teacher advised that kids Soobin's age should learn how to adjust and be more independent.

You had no choice but to drag Jungkook away from the school premises. You had other things to do, anyway. Your beeping phone was one of your agenda.

"The team's calling to know if you've accepted our job offer."

Jungkook stopped licking his ice cream in a cone, head twisting to look at you to see any sign of mirth.

You were dead serious. You furrowed your brows at Jungkook. "What."

"Nothing," Jungkook bit his ice cream until his teeth ached. "I just thought you've retracted the offer."

"Why would I do that." You frowned and offered Jungkook a tissue. What a disgusting asshole. His hands were covered with melted ice cream.

Jungkook took the tissue to cover the sight of his trembling lips. He wanted to throw the ice cream as he couldn't bear the cold. However, he didn't have the heart to waste food. He was constantly reminded of what he had to endure as kids threw ice cream at him while wearing the clown costume.

Those days felt like a lifetime ago, yet Jungkook was still here. It didn't change the fact that he felt like shit.

"You read the paper I handed you," it wasn't a question. Jungkook knew you knew of his past now. There was no way you would stay still after knowing that the person who babysat your son used to be in prison.

Frankly, even until now, Jungkook was waiting for you to drop the news to him—that he would have to leave sooner or later. You showed mercy earlier, but who's to say you wouldn't change your mind?

"I didn't." You surprised Jungkook by this admission. You squared your shoulders and snatched the ice cream cone from your best friend. You threw it in the trash can. Jungkook was about to protest, but you shushed him.

"You look stupid trying to finish that ice cream. You should have thrown it away if you didn't want it." It was Soobin's dessert in the first place. The kid handed it to Jungkook earlier before you left. Soobin thought his father wouldn't miss him so much if he had ice cream with him. "And wipe your goddamn mouth and shut it, will you? Don't look too surprised that I didn't read the paper. I told you I was shocked and needed time, but you didn't exactly give me time to process shit with your cheesy line last night."

"I'm sorry." Jungkook's cheeks heat up. He dodged your gaze, but it didn't take long for him to look at you again. You were scoffing at him.

"Now you're actin' all shy? I'm telling you now, bastard. If what you said last night was shit, I swear I will fucking—"

"It's true." Jungkook cut you off. "I mean it."

It was only then that Jungkook noticed your frozen body. Your shoulders sagged in relief upon hearing Jungkook's confirmation.

"Good." You held your head high, "Because I'd rather hear the truth from you than that paper. Do you still want to have dinner with me?"

"Lunch." Jungkook looked at the wristwatch you had gifted him. You had time before Soobin got off school. "Let's have lunch. In our usual place."

Jungkook realized he didn't want to bare his heart out in a fancy restaurant where people acted all stiff and fancy. He wanted to be in a safe and familiar environment where he knew there would be no judgment on whatever he did. No one would eavesdrop as everyone was busy in their own world.

It's the ADA. Jungkook hadn't been here in years. Many things had changed, but sadly, the one thing Jungkook hated the most remained.

Natsume--the fortuneteller who sang his prediction, was still in business. Jungkook met Natsume's teasing gaze. He started playing his guitar, ready to piss off the brunet. Luckily, you had come prepared. You immediately pulled Jungkook inside the ADA restaurant.

"I warned you earlier that Natsume still sings. You said you don't mind." You gave Jungkook a warning look. "Don't fight him. We didn't go here for that. You have a responsibility to me."

Jungkook clicked his tongue and wriggled out of your iron grip. He sighed, "Fine."

You chose a table far from the window. You couldn't have Jungkook distracted because of Natsume. Thankfully, Jungkook didn't talk about the fortuneteller anymore. He looked deep in thought. Jungkook wasn't sure where to start. The paper he gave you last night was the summary of his criminal case. Jungkook envisioned you reading that paper and bombarding him with questions.

The thing was, you were feeling generous to him. You didn't immediately go straight to questioning, opting to order food first. You didn't have to ask Jungkook. You knew he liked crab spring rolls. They were perfect with a bottle of soju.

You almost ordered the alcohol but stopped when you remembered Jungkook didn't drink anymore.

"Let's not drink. Soobin is fussy when he smells alcohol." You thanked the server after he placed your order. What you said to Jungkook was an excuse and the truth. Your son would scrunch up his nose whenever he got a whiff of your favorite wine. Jungkook knew of your intention. He smiled nonetheless.

"You're a good mom," Jungkook said sincerely, and with a quick snap, he broke the chopsticks apart to start eating the complimentary edamame. It felt nostalgic to eat this, giving Jungkook the illusion that you two were high school students whose only worry was how to earn money. 

Your lives were way more complicated than that now. You could never go back. You had Soobin and other things to consider when making decisions.

You weren’t sure whether to nod or shake your head. You settled with a subtle cough.

"I try to be. It wasn't easy at first..." You trailed off and shook your head. "Anyway, there were lots of challenges. You're doing better than me. Soobin warmed up to you fast."

Soobin liked Jang Min and Lee Sung, though it took him some time to get used to meeting up with them. But with Jungkook, things were different. You wondered if it had something to do with their biological relationship.

Jungkook couldn't use that fully as an excuse. He thanked the server for bringing in their food before answering you. "I told you before, didn't I? I've experienced handling kids."

You briefly remembered that as you felt your neck turning crimson. Jungkook had a phase where he was obsessed with getting you pregnant. You never really got the chance to know where Jungkook's fetish started. It was his cue to tell you how things started.

With a warm meal before you two, Jungkook told you how he messed up his life.

Nine Years Ago, 2014:

The thought of dropping out of university had been on Jungkook's mind for a long time, though he never gave it much thought.

That was until Jimin asked Jungkook to accompany him in social work. Jungkook didn't get it at first. Jimin was his promising senior who talked money as Francis, his business-minded boyfriend, greatly influenced him.

Jimin recently graduated college, but he was still in touch with Jungkook. As his hubae, Jungkook looked up to his Jimin-hyung. The latter usually talked about improving life, and that was all Jungkook wanted.

He longed to give you a life where you wouldn't have to struggle. You could pursue whatever studies you wanted without having to think about money.

Money talked, so Jungkook didn't understand why Jimin wasted his time entertaining illegal immigrants. It was on the outskirts of Incheon. These foreigners lived underground with their families. Jimin and some other kindhearted people visited them to feed them and offer them some minor work to get them through one day's meal.

Jungkook frowned at this. Jimin was just starting a small business. He often asked for help from the immigrants to run his business. Jungkook thought Jimin was better off with other people who were far more competent than these illegal settlers.

Jungkook didn't even want to be here. Jimin urged him, saying that if Jungkook really wanted to be business partners with him, he had to first see the kind of work Jimin was doing.

Jungkook didn't think interacting with these immigrants would convince him, but his perspective changed when a kid clung to his leg.

The kid was very small and obviously malnourished. He didn't seem to understand the danger his body was in. A carefree smile decorated his lips.

"Hyung, thank you." The kid's teeth were black and yellow. In normal circumstances, Jungkook would subtly kick the child or say something to make him go away.

But something in this child's smile softened Jungkook's heart for some reason.

"You and the other hyung there help my mom earn money!" The kid pointed at Jimin, who was busy talking to a woman. Jungkook figured that the woman was probably this kid's mother.

"We haven't eaten in days. I thought we'd have to get beaten up first."

"What?" Jungkook was taken aback. He was sometimes mean, but he didn't go around hurting people. What did this kid mean when he mentioned getting beaten up...?

The kid showed his bruised arms; he didn't have to explain for Jungkook to understand what was happening:

The kids and the people living underground were exploited. 

Jungkook clenched his jaw. The memory of younger you working in a bar lit up in his head, making him clench his hands into fists.

The indignation that abruptly clogged his veins was too much to bear, acting like a big block stopping his heart from beating.

His vision doubled. It was too much. These kids had gone through so much at a young age.

Just like you.

"I'm sorry." Jungkook dropped to his knees to look at the kid in the eyes. It was not fair. This kid was still smiling despite life being cruel to him. He didn't understand why the innocent had to suffer when far worse people were walking this planet.

"Why?" The kid caressed Jungkook's hand on his cheek. "You saved us! We want to thank you!"

After the kid said this, the other children went up to hug Jungkook. They kept calling him hyung to offer their thank you. Jungkook couldn't accept their gratitude, knowing that this was Jimin's work.

Their pleasant smile should be directed to Jimin and not him. However, when Jungkook looked at his friend, Jimin stood there, offering him a small smile and encouraging him to appreciate this moment.

Jungkook's heart throbbed painfully in his chest, and when he cast his gaze back at the kids, the pain he felt subsided, and it was quickly replaced with pride.

Jungkook smiled with only one thought in mind: I will make these kids proud.

Present, 2023:

You always knew Jungkook was closed off. He was not the type of person who would share personal experiences like this. When Jungkook told you before that he would drop out of college, you thought he was making a mistake—that he was blinded by money and pride. You never knew Jungkook's catalyst to venturing with Jimin was those kids.

The children made Jungkook want to do better, but it was also them who became his downfall.

Six Years Ago, 2017:

Things had already escalated, so Jungkook was forced to retreat to a corner, his back pressed on a cold wall with no way of stepping back.

He fucked up.

He fucked up so badly with business the same way he fucked up with you when he slept with your Jisoo-unnie.

There was no room for regret after that night. Not when he didn't have time to process things. Jungkook had to rush Jisoo to the hospital when they woke up naked on the couch.

Jisoo couldn't breathe. She was vomiting blood. The doctors said it was anxiety and her sickness acting up. Jisoo was advised not to do strenuous activity. Their tacit agreement to relieve their agony was more harmful than helpful.

Jisoo was in a daze. Looking at her made Jungkook's stomach cramp. The silence was suffocating him, too. Jungkook knew how to butter her up regarding business, but outside you, their pain, and Bighit, Jungkook and Jisoo didn't have much in common.

They were strangers who loved the same person and shared similar problems. What happened last night changed it for the worse.

Jungkook couldn't handle it anymore. He spoke.

"I'm gonna tell her."

The braid of promise from last night was combed just like that. Jisoo slowly turned her head to Jungkook, her eyes dead, and her lips were parted slightly.

Jisoo didn't say anything. She simply cupped her stomach before gently lying in bed. She turned her back to Jungkook, sick of his face already. She got what she wanted.

Jungkook sighed. He stayed in Jisoo-unnie's room for hours until he got the signal from the nurse that Jisoo could go home.

Jisoo didn't want to go home. There was no going back now. Not for Jungkook, though. He had problems he had to face, so he went home.

His home no longer felt safe after what he and Jisoo did. Jungkook couldn't bring himself to sleep, the panic and grief catching up to him every time he closed his eyes.

He avoided you like the plague, thinking that things were better off when he was alone. After all, you wouldn't understand what he was going through.

You hadn't met those immigrant kids. You didn't know what Jungkook and Jimin were fighting for. Most importantly, you didn't know what it felt like to be on top and to suddenly fall from grace.

Jungkook could almost taste it: the venom in your voice when he told you his business with Jimin had failed. He could imagine the ‘I told you so’ look painting your eyes. He could also imagine you telling him he should have just stuck to university.

Jungkook didn't really want to see you. He didn't want to see and hear about yourdisappointment in him.

But Jungkook ended up hearing it—only that with a different reason. Jungkook wasn't expecting you to show up at Bighit’s board meeting. He underestimated your capability to get what you wanted. It never occurred to him that you would buy Ango's share just so you could legally attend the meeting.

It was ridiculous. At that moment, Jungkook thought you had come to rub salt in his wound. Why else would you show up there? There was no reason for you to buy a losing share. Jungkook knew you. You would never bet your money on something risky. You didn't even want to invest in the Bighit in the first place. You only did so to appease Jungkook after your previous fight from before.

When you showed up at the meeting, Jungkook made himself think that you had bad intentions, so he hurt you first. He told you he slept with your Jisoo-unnie just because he didn't want to hear you talk shit about Bighit’s downfall.

He thought his belief was warranted because when things truly started going down, you were nowhere to be found.

It was all good at first. Jungkook thought it was better this way. Because more than anything, and despite Jungkook being fucked in the head for betraying you, Jungkook wanted you safe and worry-free. This was why he and Jisoo sought solace in each other's body. They didn't want to involve you in a mess.

In their own fucked up way, Jungkook and Jisoo loved you.

Jungkook never heard from you again after confessing his betrayal. He tried to reach you, but the case of Bighit was beyond saving. Jungkook, along with Jimin, was facing the consequences:

"When will Mushitaro arrive, Jimin-hyung?" Jungkook's skin felt itchy. The unforgiving cold wall rubbed his body, only proving to him that their current predicament was truly pitiful. He and Jimin were both grown men forced to be cramped into a small jail cell. It smelt rotten here.

Jimin couldn't do anything to appease his friend, though. He scratched his skin and was also getting agitated by the overall atmosphere of the place. "I'm not sure, Jungkook-ssi."

Three hours had passed since the police officers arrested Jimin and Jungkook. They were two different people, but Jimin said they would be having a joint lawyer. Mushitaro, their chosen representative, had yet to arrive after Jimin contacted him earlier. The law enforcers refused to let them call again.

Jungkook was antsy and feeling aggrieved. Though Mushitaro was representing him too, he still had the right to call someone—you. It was unfortunate that the officers were treating him like shit. Jungkook couldn't complain. This wasn't like the last time the police invited them over. They had an arrest warrant now, leaving him and Jimin no choice but to have their hands cuffed. It had been a few days since their last board meeting. Their other board members flew out of the country, but it didn't matter. Almost all of Bighit’s operations were handled by Jungkook and Jimin. They couldn't escape liability even if they wanted to.

This was made clear a few hours later when Mushitaro finally arrived. The lawyer knew what he was doing. Jungkook and Jimin were transferred into a much bigger room, and they were given a cup of cold water to cool down.

Jungkook normally kept his cool. He was a manipulator at best. Surely, he had thought of a way to get out of this mess. Unfortunately, the laws were difficult to circumvent as Bighit’s operation extended to illegal immigrants.

"Piercing the what?" You interrupted Jungkook's storytelling when you didn't understand the legal terms. Jungkook was at the part where he was repeating what Mushitaro had told him years ago.

Jungkook took a bite of his crab spring rolls as he responded to you, "Piercing the corporate veil."

You struggled to listen to him. Jungkook explained that companies usually had limited liability, meaning that their obligations couldn't be passed down to their board directors and stockholders. In short, if the assets of the company reached zero in value but still had some liabilities, the creditors couldn't run after stockholders like him and Jisoo.

However, with the piercing of the corporate veil, the general rule would not apply. Jungkook and Jimin were going to prison.

"The probability of Jimin-hyung and I being convicted at that time was high. That's how piercing the corporate veil works. We are both board members who oversee the operations of Bighit. We can't argue that we don't know what's happening in our company when our signatures are mostly needed in our transactions."

Jimin's boyfriend, Francis Fitzgerald, was also a board member of Bighit. Francis was a certified public accountant, so naturally, he dealt with the company's financial statements. Unbeknownst to Jungkook and the others, Francis used the company's money for his own gain and concealed the fact that the Bighit was incurring debt.

"But why are you affected by it? Isn't it solely that son of a bitch Francis' fault?" You questioned. Jungkook's chest heaved as he repeated to you what Mushitaro had said. This whole thing was still painful to talk about, but:

Generally, Jungkook and Jimin were not liable since corporations like Bighit, weren't similar to partnerships where the board members had a fiduciary relationship. Jungkook might not be the one who orchestrated the fraud, but he concealed it after finding out the truth.

You scoffed at this. But in Jungkook's defense, he and Jimin only concealed the fraud because they were trying to protect their employees.

Bighit was a business process outsourcing organization. The people they hired to take calls and be in the customer service department were the same illegal immigrants underground. Jungkook and Jimin wanted to give these people a chance at living, so they helped fake their documents and hire them.

They were good at their jobs. Jungkook never hesitated to give them a profit share and higher benefits, especially for their retirement fund. Fitzgerald embezzled the money that was supposed to be for the employees. Even their legal reserves that weren't allowed to be used or to be distributed were gone.

Jimin signed documents and trusted the auditors Fitzgerald hired. Meanwhile, Jungkook blindly followed where Jimin was going. He was getting billions of money in the beginning, so he didn't mind. What more could he ask for, knowing that their employees and their families were basically worshipping Jungkook?

When things started going downhill, Jungkook was caught off guard. He was imprisoned with Jimin, and all his assets had been frozen. Mushitaro did his best to defend them, but this was a case that enraged the public. He also couldn't milk enough money from his clients so in the end, he did the bare minimum just to have the case closed.

It was difficult. Mushitaro was being harassed by Bighit’s employees too. Most of them were deported, while the other went into hiding. They threatened the lawyer to pass their messages to his clients, saying that they wished Jungkook and Jimin to both rot in hell and that they made their lives worse. They were doing okay underground, but now they couldn't even spend time with their deported family members, and they were hiding much stricter under the police's noses.

The employees said they wanted their backpay and promised retirement funds. Once, Jungkook was visited by someone in prison. The police officer said his visitor went by your name, so Jungkook cleaned himself up for the first time in days and immediately went to see you.

But you were nowhere to be seen. Jungkook came face to face with a Bighit employee instead. No one knew how the immigrant managed to bring a knife with him, but he did. He was raging when he slashed Jungkook's eyes with a knife.

The officers were quick to seize the immigrant while some of the guards went to attend to Jungkook. He was obviously shocked. He covered his eye, feeling the blood trickling down his hand. He heard loudly how the immigrant cursed and told him to die.

That was the beginning of Jungkook covering his eye with a bandage and the hell he'd face in prison.

"Wait." You grabbed your best friend's hand to get him to stop talking. It was all in the past now, yet you couldn't seem to take it. You also had too many questions.

"Y-You went to jail after I flew to France? Where..." You stuttered a breath and trailed off, feeling your heart clench tightly in your chest. Your ramen had gone cold now. You didn't have the stomach to eat it. All you could think about while looking at your spicy red broth was the blood cascading down Jungkook's eye from before.

Regret poked at the pit of your stomach. You wanted to vomit, but you couldn't. This wasn't about you. It was about Jungkook. You bit your lip and forced yourself to ask, "Where was Jisoo-unnie...? She....she didn't help you?"

Didn't she tell you I was gone? Despite leaving and not wanting to deal with bullshit, you made sure to leave traces so that Jungkook and Jisoo would know where you went off to. Sue you for being a hypocrite, but you were desperate then. You wanted your best friend and sister to see you thriving in spite of their absences in your life. You were pretty sure Jisoo managed to find your address in France because of the clues you left.

You hated your sister, but at the same time, you craved her validation and longed to see the pain in her eyes as you hurt her back.

Why didn't Jisoo tell the convicted Jungkook about your whereabouts?

"Jisoo-noona and I never talked to each other again after...." Jungkook didn't complete his statement, yet you understood it. After we betrayed you. Their last proper conversation was when Jungkook told you that he slept with Jisoo.

They didn't exactly talk at the hospital when Jungkook brought Jisoo there. However, Jisoo showed up at Jungkook's door a few days after you left. She brought a bottle of wine and soju.

Jungkook resolutely refused the offer, almost slamming the door in the older woman's face.

"I can't, Jisoo-noona," he held the doorknob tightly. "I'm not going to drink anymore." Not after what happened. Not after we fucked up. Not in this lifetime.

Jisoo understood what he meant, though she still deflated. Her pain was too much. Her body felt like deteriorating. Her chest was hollow. She begged, "We're not going to do something stupid, Jungkook. I'm just lonely. My little girl isn't answering any of my phone calls."

She had the audacity to get sad after what she had done, but Jisoo was just human, after all. She couldn't take the separation from her sister. She missed you despite everything. Talking to Jungkook gave Jisoo the illusion that you were still within reach.

Jungkook couldn't deny it, either. He missed his best friend, too, but he knew he messed up. He had a lot on his plate right now and couldn't be bothered to carry more burden and guilt by hanging out with Jisoo.

Besides, Jungkook knew his free days were numbered. He couldn't keep involving your sister in this mess, so days after his arrest and that immigrant slashing his eye, Jungkook wrote to Jisoo. He told her not to visit or associate with him as many of Bighit’s employees were indignant with him and would lash out at anyone close to him. Jungkook also told her to extend the same explanation to you.

Jungkook wrote to you every day, yet he didn't get any response. He assumed you really didn't want anything to do with him anymore. It was both a relief and a shame.

Despite everything, Jungkook continued writing to you. It wasn't to get you to visit him or anything. His days in prison became slightly bearable every time he let out his emotions through his letters.

The messages were mostly nonsensical—at least, this was how it started. Jungkook would reminisce about your moments together, tell you about his life in prison--how he was coping with his Jimin-hyung there, and how much he missed you.

Jungkook thought it wasn't that bad until he started receiving letters from people underground. The immigrants were still feeling resentful toward him and Jimin. They detailed how worst their lives had become after being deported. Those who were hiding in South Korea managed to hide their identity, but the blame and pressure were palpable in their letters.

Even the kid who clung to Jungkook’s legs before sent him an alarming message:

My mother hanged herself. I alone now. Blame you giving false hope. You break me. The letter was written childishly. The kid forced himself to write in Korean despite knowing too little about the language. Jungkook took the letter to heart. He couldn’t sleep nor eat. And it wasn’t like there was something to fill his stomach with.

New prisoners were treated like garbage. Jungkook spent his days two cells away from Jimin. He got away from the immigrants wanting to hurt him, but the people in prison were much worse.

“You stink,” Jungkook’s cellmate spat on his face. He hadn’t eaten in two days, his mouth smelling like rotten fish and acid. Jungkook managed to get a small cup of miso soup by massaging the kitchen head’s feet for two hours. Unfortunately, Jimin didn’t know how to navigate a life in prison. He was too righteous, igniting the anger of most prisoners. He wasn’t given any ration, so Jungkook set aside his hunger and gave Jimin-hyung the soup.

“Pardon me, boss.” Jungkook didn’t wipe the spit on his cheek and just bowed his head obediently. “I’ll stay in the corner, but you can call me any time you need something. I will do anything for you.”

It was the lowest of the low, but Jungkook had to swallow his pride. This person he called boss had a lot of food stash. He was quite popular in this place. Many prisoners tried to curry favor with him. Thankfully, it wasn’t hard to please him. People like him got an ego boost whenever they thought they were being worshipped. True enough, he clicked his tongue and threw a KitKat bar to Jungkook.

“Eat that for now. Come sit with me at the table during lunchtime. Ya gotta eat, your breath will kill me.”

“Thank you, boss.” Jungkook ate half of the chocolate and saved the other half for Jimin. The boss shook his head disapprovingly. He thought Jungkook was stupid. He used the little money he had to buy papers so he could write a letter for someone outside the prison, and yet. The boss shook his head one more time, and yet he never received a response.

“I didn’t receive any of your letters.” You interrupted the storytelling again. “Where did you send them? How…” How stupid are you to think I could ever bear to see you suffer? Do you really think it would take me more than two letters to respond to you? But you didn’t say any of this. It would break Jungkook’s heart more. You changed your question, “What did you write to me?”

Jungkook didn’t have any appetite anymore, either. But reminiscing his life in prison made him want to stuff all the food before him in his mouth.

“I was told you got my letters.”

Life in prison started to get better when Jungkook started buttering up Fukuchi—the boss, though he had to face some initiation at first.

Jungkook couldn’t refute anything. He was tired of deep diving in the sea of the prison’s garbage truck just to get him and Jimin something to eat. Jimin joined his food-searching quest, but he wasn’t much of a help.

“You’re making this harder for me, Jiminnie-hyung ~ Can you just sit there and watch out for the prison guard, hmm~?” Jungkook maintained his sweet tone in spite of his exhaustion. He had to remind himself that Jimin-hyung was hurt; hence, he couldn’t move fast. His cellmates had beaten him up again. They said they didn’t like the way Jimin looked when they admitted to using his toothbrush to clean the floor. His cellmate's exact words were, “You should be thankful we’re cleaning our space with your damn toothbrush. Aren’t you acting all pure and shit? Your saliva is our holy water. Save us, Saint Jiminnie.”

The precious nickname Jungkook made up for Jimin was now tainted. They laughed and kicked Jimin when the latter told the officer what his cellmates did to his toothbrush.

Jungkook couldn’t bring himself to tell Jimin to just let it go. But at the same time, he felt like Jimin-hyung should have known better than to fight those idiotic cellmates of his. He was both frustrated and empathetic toward his friend. All he could do for Jimin was search for some food on his behalf.

Thankfully, Jimin listened and watched out for guards as Jungkook swam in the sea of garbage. He found a half-eaten pudding and handed it to Jimin.

“It’s expired,” Jimin said. They weren’t in the position to be picky, so Jungkook only beamed at him.

“I haven’t met anyone who died because of expired food. Come on, Jiminnie-hyung.~ That would do.” Jimin was on the verge of passing out. His face was pale, and his lips were chapped. He needed to eat something. With a few more coaxing from Jungkook, Jimin finally swallowed the expired pudding.

He felt a little better for a while, but Jungkook had terrible luck—his words were jinxed a few hours later. Someone from Jimin’s cell banged the gate, calling the officer’s attention to report Jimin’s state.

“Heyo! Anybody there? The blond lad right here is dyin'. We don’t want his rotten corpse in here. Help!”

Jungkook jolted awake at that. He desperately stuck his head on his cell gate, hoping to see Jimin-hyung. His action was for nought, so he helped bang the gate to get the officers’ attention, too. Fortunately, the guards appeared and were able to bring Jimin to the hospital. Jungkook would never forget the image of his friend curled into a ball while clenching his stomach. He was vomiting as he got food poisoning from eating the expired pudding.

It was a blessing in disguise, though. Jimin was able to eat slightly better food at the hospital. Jungkook swore he would never let his friend suffer again. His choice led to some drastic consequences, but he couldn’t care less:

He sought Fukuchi’s protection for his and Jimin’s sake. The initiation was hell. To Jungkook’s horror, even the correctional officers licked Fukuchi’s bottom. Everyone turned into a slave when money and power were involved. They did not bat an eyelash when Jungkook ran around the prison hallway. A group of prisoners chased after him while the others stayed locked up in their cells, watching menacingly through the crack of the gated cell how moronically Jungkook ran.

Jungkook was in the shower room. He slipped and fell because of the wet tiles marred by mold. The prisoners caught up to him. They dragged Jungkook’s already fragile body to the ground.

"Don't make trouble." Someone pressed Jungkook’s face to the floor until he couldn't breathe properly, and then he felt that person grabbing his hand, his fingertips caressing Jungkook's wrist. "It'll hurt more if you resist."

The brunet felt the syringe sinking deep into his skin. It hurt at first— but soon, it only tickled. His heart started beating so loudly that he thought it would burst inside his ribcage. His vision was doubling, too, but the euphoria pumping through his veins made him lose his inhibitions. Every emotion was amplified. Jungkook giggled when someone took off his pants, spreading his legs wide until he felt a police baton sinking deep into his hole.

Jungkook screeched. There was blood everywhere, yet the prisoners did not stop. He lost count of how many times the syringe corrupted his bloodstream. Every hole of his body (his ears, nose, mouth, and even eyes) was coated with the sticky liquid coming from those men.

His body was painted with nasty teeth marks. The shades of blue, purple, and green were such a sore in the eyes that Jungkook had to cover his body with bandages even after months of the attack. It fucked him so badly, but he could only swallow his grievances for his and Jimin’s sake.

At least now, they were not treated like trash. They had full meals now, and Fukuchi grew more satisfied with Jungkook’s mind. One day, Fukuchi introduced him to someone outside the prison.

“Lee Sung.” The outsider offered his hand for a shake. Jungkook was forced to accept the greeting. Lee Sung was a sadist at heart, though. A blade was hidden in his palm. It slashed Jungkook’s skin when they shook hands.

“You look alive. Aren’t you using the dead apple?” Lee Sung let go of the brunet’s hand, acting as if he hadn’t just caused Jungkook’s hand to trickle down with blood.

Jungkook was unfazed. He gently wiped his bloodied hand in his pants. He lied through his teeth, “Well, someone has to be sober for this, don’t you think, Lee Sung-ssi~? We can’t all be Snow White.”

‘Dead Apple’ was the drug injected into Jungkook on the day of his initiation. The effect of the drug was unapparelled, bringing the user into a different universe because of the ‘high’ feeling. It was called Dead Apple because the users would often lose consciousness or act like hypnotized zombies who would do your bidding as long as you hit something inside of them. For example, Jungkook saw Jimin through rose-colored glasses, so one of the prisoners who injected him with Dead Apple pretended to be Jimin and Jungkook, under the effect of the drug, fell into this pretense and didn’t question whatever those men did to him. It was only after some hours after the assault did he come back to his senses. 

Coming to his senses didn’t necessarily mean he would forget the assault. He remembered it all too well, and nothing—not even the unadulterated euphoria would convince Jungkook to try it again. He associated that drug with his loss of freedom and more hatred for his already wretched body. One could call him a hypocrite because despite knowing the deadly effect of Dead Apple, it did not stop him from letting other people have access to it.

Life, especially in prison, was not like a fairytale. The initiation he had to be part of Decay of Angels—Fukuchi’s group, wasn’t enough to prove he was worthy. Jungkook had to strategize to keep Fukuchi’s business prospering. He was in charge of thinking of ways to supply the other inmates with drugs while making sure the higher-ups would not suspect a thing. Some officers were part of this scheme, but not all of them could turn a blind eye. Truthfully, Jungkook had been devising plans to get the officers already in this plan to keep supporting them.

Fukuchi soon realized how essential Jungkook was to this whole ordeal, so from being a chess piece, Jungkook was promoted to king. He had the privilege now to meet members of Decay of Angels who were not in prison.

Lee Sung was present at this meeting. He was tasked to get a feel of the king in prison. One look and Lee Sung already knew Jungkook was dangerous. Lee Sung had to find a way to break him.

“And how does staying sober benefit the Decay of Angel, Jungkook-ah?”

Jungkook tilted his head as he raised his hand to show his five fingers, “Five percent.”

Lee Sung was quick to snort at the number. Fukuchi came to the rescue, “Lee Sung, I know it sounds insignificant, but do note that Jungkook-ssi right here has been in this game for only a few days.” He also explained that the officer who had been eyeing the Decay of Angels had been transferred to another jurisdiction, all thanks to Jungkook’s effort.

Now, the drug dealing in Incheon was much more free. 

Lee Sung finally looked pleased because of this. He jutted his chin out, “Very well, then, Jungkook-ah.~ Just tell me what prize you want, I can give it to you.~”

Jungkook jumped into the offer at once. He wrote a name on a piece of paper and handed it to Lee Sung. The latter laughed, thinking that Jungkook wanted someone killed. That could easily be arranged, but the brunet was enigmatic. Lee Sung never would have thought that someone could be this stupidly sweet.

“Consider it done,” Lee Sung stood up and saluted. Sometime later, Jungkook received a letter from Gogol. It contained printed photos of a kid smiling while holding hands with his adopted parents.

Choi Yeonjun. Did you like his new name, Jungkook-ah? The bottom of the letter said.

Jungkook breathed a sigh of relief. The kid who clung to his leg was okay now. Jungkook couldn’t stop with just this, though. Every time he did something for the benefit of the Decay of Angels, he would ask Lee Sung to grant him the favor of helping the previous employees of Bighit. Unfortunately, his efforts were not enough. He slowly incurred a lot of debt to Lee Sung. The latter said it wasn’t his money. It was his boss who lent Jungkook the money.

The death threats toward him and Jimin lessened, too. Of course, this didn’t go unnoticed by Jimin. He confronted Jungkook about it, knowing well that his friend was behind this. Jungkook had always been one step ahead of everything. Sadly, he was not one to make rational choices.

It was easy for Jimin to figure it all out. Jungkook would sometimes joke that Jimin could see the future, therefore giving him the ability of flawless. “Your conjecture has always been flawless, Jiminnie-hyung~!” Jungkook used to tell him.

It wasn’t any different now. Jungkook was being treated like a God in prison these days. He had the privilege to sit beside Fukuchi, and Jimin was not blind not to see the rampant spread of Dead Apple. In fact, one of his cellmates offered him to try the drug. Jimin firmly refused. He easily connected the dots, and when his conjecture had truly become ‘flawless,’ he then confronted Jungkook.

“This is dangerous, Jungkook. You have to stop.” Jimin was not one to resort to violence, but he couldn’t help but grab the younger man’s shirt and slam him against the wall. “You are dealing with illegal drugs, for Pete’s sake. Aren’t you afraid? You only have a few months in your sentence. Don’t make a decision that would harm you.”

I’m doing this for you. Jungkook wanted to shake Jimin. I’m doing this for the people who used to believe in us. I can’t abandon them. You said they’re important to you. I just want to make you happy, Jimin-hyung.

However, vulnerability and truth didn’t sit well with Jungkook. He wriggled out of Jimin’s grasp. “Just trust me, Jiminnie-hyung.”

Jungkook was in too deep. He needed to pay his debts to Lee Sung’s boss, save some money for himself, and start all over again. Their sentence was only reduced because the Decay of Angels paid some of his dues. They were billions of yen as their case impacted the Korean economy.

Jungkook wanted to reclaim his life and maybe…maybe see you again.

You still hadn’t responded to any of Jungkook’s letters, but he didn’t plan on giving up. He tripled the letter he sent, hoping that you would find it annoying and finally reply to him. He would take anything from you, even if it was just pure hatred.

Everything would be okay in no time. He would be out in prison with Jimin soon, so he smiled at his friend, thinking that Jimin understood him.

Except that he didn’t. 

Jungkook had no one else to blame—

Only himself.

He should have known Jimin wouldn’t keep his mouth shut. He wouldn’t blindly trust Jungkook when the well-being of other people was involved. It didn’t matter if they were prisoners. Jimin wouldn’t want these people to harm themselves more.

Jimin was righteous. He couldn’t just watch Jungkook destroy himself and the others, so he did what he thought was right: he told a police officer about the drug scheme in prison.

What a joke.

Did he really think he could make a difference? The police officer nodded along with Jimin, even escorting him to where he could report such a crime.

Jimin sighed in relief. He thought he could sleep well that night, but he couldn’t.

Jimin wasn’t escorted to report the crime. He was stuck in the giant walk-in freezer in the prison’s kitchen.

At five twenty-four in the morning, Park Jimin was found dead. 

********

A/N: Hello. It's been almost a month since I last updated. I hope you still remember this fic ~~

I know this chapter is upsetting. :(( I'm sorry, there might...? be more to come.

Also, a little update: life is being a total bitch to me. I have a hard time adjusting at work, and would sometimes use the little free time I have to just cry. It was a public holiday in my country last Friday and this coming Monday, but being in accounting means having no break. I still need to work :// My health is being compromised lately as I am working the night shift. It's super stressful because almost everyone around me keeps saying that I am losing too much weight. I KNOW it already :((( anyway, I'm rambling. Please tell me your thoughts about this chapter.

If you feel like dropping this fic, please do so! But please be kind in the comment or don't tell me at all.

Thank you ~~ See you next time! (Hopefully soon, but damn it's quarter close next month, so I will probably be busy waahhh)

Got more suggestions about the tag/warnings? Feel free to tell me. The goal here is to be more mindful.

[back2bluesidex]

Incognito - JHS (WDBHG Drabble)

A Where Do Broken Hearts Go Drabble

Pairing: Hoseok X Fem!Reader X Jungkook

Wordcount: 1k+

Summary: Hoseok is curious about the guy who left you behind. So, he goes incognito.

Warnings: drinking!

Minors are not allowed in this blog!!

A/N: This takes place after chapter 4 and before chapter 5

Try as he might - Hoseok can’t think of anything else other than your lips, which he was about to kiss. 

He doesn’t know what had possessed him earlier tonight but he really regrets it. He had been trying hard not to look at you for the better part of the day. But he failed 

As if he hasn’t sold himself as a creep by continuously ogling his daughter’s therapist, that he had to lean down and almost kiss you. 

Thank god Sua woke up and stopped him, otherwise things might have changed from the next session and he doesn’t want that. Not only Sua but also he have been forming a genuine relationship with someone for the first time in all these years, he doesn’t wanna fuck things up now. Even though you seemed ready for him to take you over.

He pours a good amount of Hibiki in his fancy diamond cut glass. Looking at the liquid he sighs, he thinks to himself of the countless identical nights that he has been spending locking himself up in his study after putting Sua to sleep. 

He could have called Mina tonight. She is always ready and one call away. But somehow Hoseok feels greatly turned off by the idea. 

He almost had a taste of you, he almost put his mouth on yours and lord, he can still somehow smell your sweet subtle vanilla scent in the air. How the fuck he can think of anyone else when you were ready to jump in his arms just an an hour ago? 

He groans at the thought. 

What is this feeling of confusion? Why does he want you but is grateful that things didn’t escalate? 

The whiskey burns at the back of his throat but does nothing to take away the troubled thoughts he has been having. 

Then something ticks in his mind. 

“Jungkoo-?” he murmurs to himself. You didn’t say the full name but this jungkoo person has to be the ex boyfriend that supposedly fell out of love with you. 

And suddenly Hoseok is curious. He wants to see the face of this idiot who let you go. He wants to see the person who broke you and whom you still probably love. Whom you probably thought of while he was about to kiss you. 

He takes a big gulp from the glass and walks towards his desk. Settling down in the huge chair he opens his laptop, taps on the browser and goes into incognito mode. Typing a specific address and agreeing on using the site on guest mode, he filters out the search criteria. 

Location: Seoul,  Gender: Male,  Age: he thinks hard about it. You don’t seem like the type to go for very older or very younger guys. Given the fact that you are still under 30, he selects the age bar from 20 to 35.  Name: Jungko

Enter. 

There are 5 results that pop up: 

Jeon Jung Kook 

Shin Jung Kook 

Kim Jeong Gguk 

Kim Jeong Guen 

Lee Jung Min 

It’s good that your ex-boyfriend has a distinct name, it makes it easy to find him. The website showed him the most relevant results, so there are 5. But he knows which two he has to work with. 

So, he clicks on the first profile: 

Name: Jeon Jung Kook

Age: 28 

Occupation: Modeling 

Address: Unknown 

Email ID: Unknown 

Website: www.goldenstudios.kr  

Hoseok frowns at that. He has been using this people finder tool for the better part of his career but this ‘website’ section is added only on special cases. Either this jungkook guy is a bigshot or a celebrity. And he doubts if you settle for those types. 

But he clicks on the link regardless. 

His breath hitches upon seeing Jungkook’s face. He is the Calvin Klein model, whose face is in every possible billboard? 

Jesus. Is he really Y/N’s ex? He thinks to himself as he scrolls down the page. 

He can be wrong as well. There is another guy with the same name, so yeah. And he doesn’t really think you would have the mind to put up with a celebrity for three years. 

But something keeps him from exiting the page. He clicks on the instagram icon that is added at the end of Jungkook's bio. 

When the instagram opens, the first thing he tries is to look for your face but he finds none. Then he clicks on a random post and starts scrolling. 

Hoseok stumbles upon a post from a month ago. In the picture a pretty lady is hugging Jungkook tightly. As Jungkook lovingly wraps up her waist with one of his hands, laying his head on the top of her head. There are no captions but a ton of congratulations in the comments. 

So, this guy is already committed. 

Hoseok thinks of the likeliness of this guy being your ex. You said he broke up with you but didn’t mention when. Given the fact that your wounds are still fresh, it might haven’t been that long. And this guy just got into a relationship a month ago. So, he can very well be the Jungkook you were talking about. 

However, still, you dating a celebrity doesn’t sit right with Hoseok. So he decides to exit instagram and investigate the other guy. 

Before exiting, though, he decides to tap on the profile picture to view the recent stories. 

There is a picture of Jungkook, with another strikingly beautiful guy inside a condo. The caption says “happy birthday @j.m” with a tagged location. 

And.. it is the same location Hoseok picked you up from today. You also mentioned visiting a friend just before the session. 

Hoseok’s eyes narrow at the screen as he takes a better look at Jungkook’s face. 

“So you left Y/N for the girl in the photo, huh?” He talks to the screen as if Jungkook can hear him. 

“What an idiot you are, Jeon Jungkook.” Hoseok takes a swig from his glass making a silent promise of making you forget your ex.  

Taglist 1:-

@phenomenalgirl9 @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @sukunabitch @chimchimmarie @coffeedepressionsoup @meowstake @vonvi-blog @nochuel @xjoonchildx @justmewondering-recs @cuteipat @miakey98 @purpleanchorcrown @chimmisbae @ane102 @junniesoleilkth @terjeonbebas @kookssecret @appleh4ad @kayleeshinee @whoa-jo @definetlythinkimanalien @lovelgirl22 @agrika

Taglist 2:-

@llallaaa @mikrokookiex @parkinglot-nights @hiqhkey @diamonddia-mond @00frenchfries00 @koalasandcuddles @superchamchi88 @ttanniett @coralmusicblaze @multiasf @kookscumrag @sumzysworld @knjjjk @xtrataerrestrial @survivalistghost @kelsyx33 @aann95 @btsffreader92 @jjk174 @dragonflygurl4 @xwniazx

[yoonglespringles10]

All That We Love | JJK, KMY | Part Two

TITLE: all that we love

PAIRING: jeon jungkook x fem!reader | kim mingyu x fem!reader (jungkook, mingyu and mc are best friends)

GENRE: angst, fluff, best friends to lovers, love triangle, college au, non-idol au

SUMMARY: love blooming from close friendships can both be the most beautiful feeling and the grandest mess ever.

WORD COUNT: 3k words

WARNINGS: love triangle, jungkook is emotionally constipated, mingyu is pathetically in love with mc, everyone's emotions are all over the place, good amount of angst, fluff in the later parts, jungkook and mingyu are athletes (volleyball), mc and mingyu are both sociology students, jungkook majors in music, just to clarify jungkook and mingyu live together and seokjin sometimes crashes over to hang out while mc has her own place.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: hiii, i'm back with part two! as i wrote this part i realised that i'm having fun with this story and i think i will be turning it into a proper full-on series of at least 4-5 parts. i tried to explore each character and what their thinking individually in this one. i hope you guys like it, would love to hear your feedback so keep leaving comments!!

also, are you team jungkook or team mingyu? comment down, i'm curious to know!!!!

lowercase is intended

TAGLIST IS OPEN, COMMENT OR SEND AN ASK TO BE ON IT!

Series Masterlist

Previous Part | Next Part

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"what did you just say?" jungkook says from behind you, his voice loud but shaky.

you feel your heart stop at that moment, you don't know what to do. all this time you have been doing everything in your power to not ruin your friendship. all it took was this one slip-up. you're actually fucked. a small whimper leaves your mouth, only loud enough for mingyu to hear as you hug him tighter. you feel like the moment you let him go, your entire world is going to shatter into pieces.

mingyu looks at jungkook. he can see that jungkook is clearly extremely shocked to hear the words that have just left your mouth. "y/n, love, you have to talk to him. i know you're scared, but it's jungkook. i promise this won't ruin anything. go and talk to him, it'll be okay." mingyu whispers in your ear. he rubs your back in order to provide some comfort to you. even though he feels like someone's ripping his heart out of his chest as he's himself willingly sending you to jungkook, he just wants you to be okay. he doesn't know what the outcome is going to be of this conversation and he despises that it could go either way. but he knows you need it.

carefully, he unwraps his arms from around you and slowly takes a step back, "go talk to him. i'll go keep chaewon company in the meantime." he says and you look at him as if you're begging him to stay. it takes everything in him to not just take you back in his arms and take you away from the fair, away from jungkook. once again, mingyu decides to be the bigger person, at the cost of his own heart. he makes his way out of the parking lot, crossing jungkook. he stops when he's face to face with him. he asks him where chaewon is and jungkook points towards the washroom. mingyu nods, "kook, please be gentle with her." he pleads. jungkook's expression softens a little bit and he nods slightly before he turns his attention back to you.

you watch the whole interaction between your two best friends, you can't hear them but you see the way jungkook relaxes a little bit after mingyu says whatever he says to him. however, once mingyu's left the area, you can't help but feel like your safety net's gone. your heart begins to thump loudly again as you see jungkook walking towards you. you look down when he stops right in front of you, unable to look him in the eye.

"y/n? please look at me." jungkook pleads in a small voice. you can tell he's scared too. slowly you raise your head to look at him, your eyes meeting with one another.

"i'm sorry, kook." you whisper in the most pained voice jungkook's ever heard. tears begin to stream down your face again. jungkook wants to take a step toward you, he wants to comfort you, he wants to tell you that it's going to be alright. but he can't. not when he himself can't be sure of a single thing at the moment.

"y/n, what were you saying to mingyu? is it true? do you really..." it hurts you that jungkook can't even bring himself to finish the sentence. you realise that this is it, you have to tell him. you always imagined confessing to him before, but never did it even cross your mind that it would be under these circumstances. when he would already be a taken man.

you take a deep breath to calm yourself down. you need to tell him. it's the only way to find closure. as much as it hurts, you know you have to, "i'm sorry jungkook, but yes. i love you. i never wanted it to come out like this. you really weren't supposed to hear that. i'm very sorry but i cannot help it though. i've tried so hard to get over you but it feels nearly impossible. i completely understand if you don't want to talk to me after this, but i can't run away from reality anymore. i have been in love with you for as long as i can remember." you start scared but as you speak, your voice gains confidence you didn't know you had. this is your truth and as you finally admit it to jungkook, you realise that there's no point in running away from it.

jungkook seems visibly conflicted to you. there are a mix of so many emotions on his beautiful face. you've known him for so long, you can usually read him like an open book. today, however, you can't for the life of you, understand what he's thinking. after what feels like an eternity he finally speaks, "i don't know what to say, y/n. you know that i'm in a relationship already and i'm very happy." he says in a very soft and apologetic tone. he looks guilty for having to do this to you.

you had been almost 99% sure that jungkook's reaction was going to be like this. you know he's happy with chaewon, you're aware. but that 1% in you still hoped. you don't know why but it did. and now that reality is slapping you in the face, you feel like you want the ground to crack open and swallow you in. you can't bring yourself to say anything and jungkook senses it, so he continues, "y/n, i am so sorry. i really didn't know you felt this way about me. but i-i can't you know, i'm really sor-"

"jungkook it's okay, i know you don't feel the same about me. you don't have to explain yourself. i respect your feelings and i don't want to make things uncomfortable between us, i never wanted that to begin with. above everything, you're my best friend and i want you to be happy. you don't have to worry about me, i'll be okay. so please, let's just forget about this and let things go back to how they were. please pretend that you never heard what i said and i promise you i'll try my best to get over you. trust me, i'm okay with us just being friends. i really don't want to lose you." you try your best to save yourself from hearing jungkook verbally reject you.

"y/n, are you sure? i really don't want to be the one who's hurt you. you're my best friend. i want to be there for you." jungkook says. he feels like he's in a fever dream. this doesn't seem real to him. his mind is frazzled and he feels frustrated that he can't even comfort you properly. he doesn't know how to when he's the one who's been causing you so much pain without even knowing.

how did he never see it? how did he not know about your feelings at all when he spent almost every waking moment with you and mingyu? was he that stupid? he's so taken aback by the fact that you have romantic feelings for him that he's unable to find the right words to say to you.

"jungkook, i'm fine. i'll be okay i promise. just i need some space for a while please. i don't think i can see you for a few days, i'm sorry. i need some time to get my shit together and i'll be back to normal in no time i swear." you watch as jungkook's expression turns into one of hurt and sadness before you even finish your sentence. this is definitely not how you had imagined your night would go. he looks as if he wants to fight back but then within a second his firm stance falters. he exhales loudly in defeat and nods, looking down.

"i understand," is all he says.

at this point, your emotions are all over the place so you don't know how you do it without breaking down completely but you walk up to him and give him a hug. "we're going to be okay, kook. i'm sorry for doing this." and with that you press a light kiss on his cheek, savouring the moment. you whisper a small 'bye' before you leave, not daring to look back at him. which is why you miss the small tear that escapes jungkook's eyes.

you're almost out of the fair's premises when you hear footsteps behind you. just for a split second, the more vulnerable part of your brain makes you think that it might be jungkook, who has finally realised that he likes you back and wants to be together. but of course, that's far from the reality. instead you turn around to find mingyu. he comes up to you and puts an arm around your shoulder as he starts walking beside you.

"let's get you home, my love," he says.

--------------------

"y/n come on, you have to come. i'm not taking no for an answer." mingyu pleads on the phone and you roll your eyes.

"i know you're rolling your eyes, you know that's not going to make me stop. you've been holed up in your place for 2000 years now you have to get out!" he exclaims in frustration.

“don’t be dramatic, gyu. i’m just taking some time to do self care. it’s me time.” you speak into the phone.

“well, i don’t care. you need to get out of the house, you haven't even been attending classes lately. you've missed out on so many assignments. now, i’m coming over in an hour and i need you to be ready by then. bye,” and the line gets cut.

it has been more than three weeks since the horrendous, most embarrassing day of your life. you got rejected by your own best friend and it genuinely felt like your heart was stomped upon. mingyu wasn’t wrong on the call, you have barely left your house since then. you want to avoid jungkook at all costs, you don’t want him to see how pathetic your “getting your shit together” process has been. you simply can’t get over your feelings for him no matter how hard you try. you yourself can feel how much your usual cheerful self has turned into a dull, grey lump of sadness.

you also feel frustrated with yourself, if only you had masked your feelings that day too like you usually do. then you wouldn’t be in this position. you would be hanging out at jungkook and mingyu’s place, joking around with them as per usual. it’s like a big, dark scary cloud of sadness constantly looms over you. you never thought heartbreak would have such a big affect on you.

you let out a loud groan before you get out of bed to get ready. you know mingyu is a man on a mission and he won’t stop today until he takes you out. there is apparently this new cafe that's just opened up nearby and he wants to try their desserts. you hate that mingyu's right. you do need to get out of the house. you definitely can't miss out on any more classes. you sigh as you hop inside the shower. hopefully, going out makes you feel better.

across the road mingyu and jungkook are sitting at the dining table in their shared apartment, silently eating breakfast. jungkook has noticed that mingyu has gotten ready and he figures that he's probably going to see you. jungkook wonders how you've been, he wants to ask mingyu but he's scared of the answer. you looked absolutely distraught that day at the fair. it upsets jungkook so much that even though it was never intentional, he's still become the reason you're hurting. now that he's had more than a few days to process everything that has happened, he realises how the signs were almost always there. he just never paid attention to them.

he never even stopped to think about how he felt about you, not as a friend but as a girl. he always assumed that since all three of you have been childhood friends, it has to stay platonic. never did he dare to even think about crossing that boundary. this was the reason why he was so shocked to learn that you were in love with him. it's still hard for him to fully process this information. so far all he knows is that no matter what, he does not want to lose you. maybe he can't love you the way you want him to but that does not mean he does not care for you.

jungkook clears his throat to catch mingyu's attention, "uh, are you going to see y/n?" he asks nervously. mingyu nods, "yeah, i'm trying to take her out today. lord knows the girl needs fresh air."

"how is she doing?" jungkook inquires. this is the first time he's asked about you in almost four weeks. finally, mingyu thinks. he had dealt with jungkook skirting around inquiring about you for days now, he knew that he wanted to ask about you but was so taken aback by the whole ordeal that he couldn't bring himself to. which is why mingyu feels a weird sense of relief now that jungkook's finally touched the topic.

he exhales and turns around to look at jungkook, "i'm not going to lie to you, man it's been hard for her, but she's trying her best." he pauses as if contemplating if he should say what he says next, "she really likes you, jungkook. so much that she's willing to let her heart break just so she can have you in her life. in any form you want." he says. after hearing mingyu, jungkook feels like he’s unable to breathe, he feels suffocated. his emotions are yet again all over the place. he feels restless, like he’s been left alone out in the middle of an ocean where there is no land in sight. where there’s nothing in his control.

he takes a deep breath and puts his head in his hands, but in the process something clicks. he raises his head abruptly and looks at mingyu, “and what about you?”

mingyu is taken by surprise, he hadn't anticipated that to be what jungkook would say.

"w-what about me?" he stutters, hesitantly. he thinks he has an idea about what jungkook means but it still confuses him as to how jungkook would know.

"come on, gyu, literally everyone and their mother knows that you have feelings for y/n." jungkook is quick to overlook the subtle bitterness the sentence leaves in his mouth.

"i-i don't know what you're talking about," and suddenly it's hard for him to even meet jungkook's eyes.

"you don't have to admit it to me it's okay, i've known it for a very long time though. the real question is, does y/n know?" jungkook asks.

mingyu sighs, there's no point in denying it. "no she doesn't and i don't plan on telling her anytime soon so keep your mouth shut. she's already going to through a lot," jungkook looks down in guilt.

"anyway, i'm leaving now. i'm getting late." mingyu isn't getting late. in fact, he is 10 minutes early but he needs to get out of the house before this conversation goes any further.

"but-"

"okay, bye!"

---------------------

"this tea is actually really good!" you beam with contentment. turns out mingyu was right, you really needed this outing. you feel better after stepping out of the house, getting some fresh air, and having a nice, cold matcha bubble tea.

"ah, i'm amazing yeah? you get to enjoy this lovely tea all because of me," mingyu smirks playfully.

you roll your eyes and scoff, "yeah yeah, whatever," as you lean forward to take a bite out of his lemon tart.

usually he would slap your hand away and complain that you always eat his food, but today. today, mingyu watches you with a smile on his face. he's glad to see you finally be at least 40% of your usual self. for the past almost one month, he had given his everything to make you feel better. of course, he did it willingly and not out of any compulsion. he was there at your doorsteps almost every day with everything you would need from a giant tub of cookies and cream ice cream to a bigger tub of fried chicken. he spent hours watching every marvel movie with you, even though he's not interested in the superhero franchise even one bit (well, now that he's seen infinity war, the case is different). most of all, he spent hours listening to you vent about how much you love jungkook and how your heart's been crushed, if only you knew how much he could relate to you.

so now that you're in front of him, smiling genuinely after so many days, he feels elated.

"why are you looking at me like that?" you notice how he's been just staring at you for a while now. your question brings him out of his stupor.

"nothing, i'm just happy to see you like this." his tone still sounds a bit dazed. you smile at him as you take another sip of your drink.

"ah, you cheeseball. don't be embarrassing," you say with a playful tone. you see that his smile just widens and he lets out a small laugh but continues you look at you, his eyes showing something you can't pinpoint.

"thanks, gyu. you played a big role in me feeling better. i really appreciate you being there for me. love you." you continue to speak but this time with sincerity.

"i love you too." mingyu replies, staring directly into your eyes. you were right, something's different, and maybe, just maybe you can tell what it is. for the first time, the look in mingyu's eyes is not one of friendly adoration. it's something more, and it scares you.

but what scares you more is the fact that you don't exactly hate it.

--------------------

thanks for reading!!

TAGLIST

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emo emo emo emo kiss <3 @mnightego

the best babe ☠ most more respect!❗!

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[neonlights92]

NIGHT CHANGES: Chapter Five

Jeon Jungkook has spent the last twenty years alone.  Single.  Solo.

And that’s just the way he likes it.  That is, until he meets the supposed love of his life.  Suddenly he’s falling over himself at the chance of a real relationship with someone.

The only thing standing in his way? You.

genre: fuckboy!Jungkook, college!jungkookie, e2l (kiiiinda), romcom

A/N: This one is a whopper guuuuuuys. Think this will be the last official chapter and then maybe a smutty epilogue if people are interested. Hope you enjoy!!

“So that’s it then?” Jungkook stares at Namjoon, uncomprehending.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Namjoon cocks his head, “You’re just giving up?” Jungkook can’t believe what he’s hearing.

Giving up? “Did you listen to any of what I just said?” Jungkook is incredulous, “She lied to me for months.” “And that was a shitty thing to do,” Taehyung agrees from his spot on the couch, “But do you really think you can’t forgive her?”

“We’re not saying she hasn’t fucked up,” This comes from Hoseok, who takes a bite out of the huge pepperoni pizza they’ve ordered for dinner, “But people do stupid things when they’re in love.” In love.

Jungkook’s chest tightens. It’s been almost a week since that night - almost a full week since he’s seen or heard from Y/N. She hasn’t texted him - hasn’t turned up to any of their classes.

He knows she’s giving him space.

That she doesn’t want to overstep any boundaries.

But Jungkook can’t help it. He misses her.

And yet…

“Just who’s side are you guys on?” Jungkook grunts, taking a long swig from his bottle of beer. A desperado of course - just one of many things that reminds him of Y/N.

Taehyung clicks his tongue - somewhere between annoyance and sympathy - and sighs heavily. He sounds like someone older. Or maybe Jungkook just suddenly feels very young.

“We’re on your side, dipshit.” His friend rolls his eyes, “Of course we’re on your side. Y/N fucked up. Badly. We agree with you. But… We also think you should give her a second chance.” Jungkook raises a brow, “Because she’s in love with me?”

Taehyung turns to Hoseok and Namjoon and they share that stupid, fucking look between them. Jungkook wants to scream because why do they always think they know more than he does?

Namjoon shifts. He takes a moment and then smiles gently.

“Well yes but also because… You love her too. Obviously.”

The same damn thing. The story they keep spinning.

Hasn’t Jungkook spent months convincing them otherwise? Hasn’t he demonstrated - on multiple occasions and with great conviction - that the person he longs for is Soomi? Shouldn’t his best friends, of all people, believe him?

“For fuck’s sake,” He groans, sick to death of this, “I am not in love with her. How many times do I have to deny it for you to actually believe me?” Hoseok sets his pizza to one side. He turns to Jungkook very seriously - and for a moment, Jungkook is almost afraid of what his friend might say.

“Remember that day, we saw her for lunch?” Jungkook furrows his brow.

“What?” Hoseok tries again, “We met on campus for lunch and we found Y/N reading that book on confidence.” The penny drops. Jungkook’s eyes widen slightly.

“Yeah. Yes, I remember.” He crosses his arms and leans back into the pillows of their old, gross couch, “What about it?”

Hoseok traps his bottom lip between his teeth. He watches his friend for a few moments, and as always Jungkook waits.

He won’t ever admit it out loud, but the truth is Jungkook values Hoseok’s opinion more than probably anybody else’s on the planet.

“Why do you think you were so jealous?” Jungkook’s eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets. He splutters, leaning forward and throwing an indignant hand towards Hoseok’s face.

“You’re fucking with me?!” Jungkook scoffs, “I wasn’t jealous Hoseok!”

It’s Hoseok’s turn to snort, “You hated the fact that I was flirting with her.” “Not because I was jealous! It had nothing to do with any feelings I might have had for her…” Jungkook feels like he’s losing grip on reality for a moment. How can his friends be so blind? “It was because of Jimin! I needed Y/N to date Jimin-” “So that you could date Soomi.” Hoseok finishes off, “You knew I found her cute. Why didn’t you ask me to take her on the pretend date?”

“That wouldn’t make sense. You would only distract her… From Jimin.”

This time Namjoon interjects. His face is kind but exasperated - an expression Jungkook knows far too well.

“What did it matter who she dated, Jungkook? The point was she would be dating, right? She needed experience, after all.” Namjoon grabs his own bottle of beer and takes a gulp, “Face it. You couldn’t stand the thought of Hoseok flirting with Y/N. You were jealous.”

Jungkook glares at his friends.

Was this their plan from the beginning? Organise a night in so they could ambush him and try to convince of feelings he knows aren’t there?

He snorts.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” He grabs a slice of pizza and takes an angry bite out of it, “Y/N and I were just friends. And now… Well I don’t even know what we are now!”

Namjoon shakes his head softly and shrugs, “I know that’s truly what you’ve convinced yourself Kook but… We all see it.”

Jungkook groans, “What? What do you allegedly ‘see’?”

“You find her funny.” Taehyung points out, eyes serious, “You make time for her. She challenges you. She doesn’t put up with your bullshit. You love spending time with her…” “Hell you were incensed when you found out she’s never really dated before,” Hoseok tacks on, “Why would it make you so angry?” “Because she’s awesome!” Jungkook forces himself not to shout but the situation is becoming increasingly more frustrating.

“Exactly,” Namjoon agrees, “She’s awesome.”

“Just because I can appreciate that she’s a great person doesn’t mean I’m in love with her.” Jungkook almost wants to cry again but he shoves the feeling away, “That’s ridiculous.”

There is a beat of silence.

It feels like the air is too thick - like Jungkook can’t breathe properly. He hates that his friends seem to have decided what they believe whether or not he denies it.

He hates that he’s in this situation in the first place.

But most of all he hates that he hasn’t spoken to Y/N in a week and he misses her more than he’d ever be willing to admit.

Namjoon’s eyes are sympathetic when he reaches forward and nudges Jungkook’s shoulder gently.

“Just think about it, alright?” His friend frowns slightly, “Give your feelings a chance to bloom.”

Jungkook doesn’t know what to say so he just...Nods.

God.

What an awful week.

//

Jungkook hasn’t spoken to Y/N all week but he also hasn’t spoken much to Soomi either.

A text here and there - and she snapchatted him the day before yesterday but...He can’t bring himself to actually call or meet up with her.

He doesn’t want to admit it, but he knows it's because of Y/N.

Fuck. Everything’s just so complicated.

So when he’s walking out of class Friday evening and he sees he’s getting a call from her his heart stutters. Shit, shit, shit.

What should he do? He stares at her name - Soomi is calling… - and feels something akin to dread crawling up his spine.

He has to speak to her doesn’t he? Can’t keep ignoring her - not if he wants to give them a real chance.

And does he? Does he want to actually try to work things out with her? What would that mean for his friendship with Y/N?

Finally, after a long moment of deliberating, Jungkook throws caution to the wind and picks up the phone. His chest balloons to three times its size but he forces himself to stay calm.

“Hi.” His voice is hoarse, “Soomi.” There is a pause then, “Hi Jungkook.”

Her voice sounds exactly as it always has. He knows he should be happy… He knows he should be excited that she cares enough to call him and yet…

He bites his bottom lip and shoves his free hand into the pocket of his jacket.

“Everything okay?” She laughs, breathily, “You tell me.”

That’s when he feels guilty.

Jungkook’s a fuckboy. He’s slept with countless women - many of whom he never saw again - and he’s flirted with more girls than the average person probably meets in their whole life.

All these things are true and yet… He’s never done this. He’s never left someone without an answer for a week. He’s never distanced himself from a girl after practically confessing his love to them.

So yes - Jungkook may be a fuckboy… But he’s always been clear about what he wants. To himself, and to the girls he sees.

Except now, he’s not so clear anymore.

“I’m sorry Soomi,” He sounds sorry too, “I should’ve called.” She clicks her tongue, “I told you to take your time.” “That’s true.” But it doesn’t soothe the guilt he feels gnawing its way into his chest.

“Have you thought about things?”

The question throws him off.

Has he thought about things? He suppose he has - in a roundabout way. He’s spoken to his friends - though he’s not actually sure how much that helped - and he’s thought about Y/N probably every single day.

But has he thought about Soomi? Has he processed how this whole thing actually makes him feel?

Jungkook’s always been shit with feelings. He knows the reason he’s spent so long running away from love and commitment is because he’s a scared of being hurt.

He knows that he’ll never admit how much everything that happened has actually affected him.

He knows that Y/N means way more to him than just some girl he slept with. Than just some girl who’s hooking him up with her best friend.

And yet… He can’t think about it all for too long. He knows these things - maybe he even accepts them - but he doesn’t want to process it.

It sounds too painful.

“I guess.” He winces at the way he sounds - unsure… Unsettled.

There is a beat.

“You guess?” Soomi doesn’t sound angry just questioning, “That’s not really what I was hoping for.”

Jungkook feels his feet drag against the freshly laid snow. It’s almost Christmastime. He’s not even sure he’s capable of getting into the spirit this year.

“I know and I’m sorry but I just - I don’t know. I’m still confused.” And hurt. He adds that last bit silently.

Soomi sighs heavily, “Listen why don’t you come to a party with me tonight?”

Jungkook can’t imagine anything worse.

And yet…

“Alright.” He doesn’t know why he agrees. Probably because he’s a little sad and probably because he still feels guilty. Either way it seems, he’s going.

“I’ll send you the address,” She tells him carefully, as though speaking to a child, “We can meet there around eight.” He stops himself from sighing and nods, even though she can’t see it.

“Yeah sure. See you tonight.” “Alright Jungkook,” He hears something like a smirk in her voice but decides to just ignore it, “See you tonight.”

He hangs up the phone and stares at his screensaver.

It’s a picture Y/N sent him a few weeks ago - a sunset after the longest day of the year. Jungkook had thought it looked dope and he’d decided it was good enough for his home screen, informing Y/N she now had bragging rights to his iPhone aesthetic.

That was only a few weeks ago. He remembers the way she smiled - like it was the sweetest thing anybody had ever said to her - and the way her cheeks bloomed with a fresh blush.

Jungkook feels so sad, all of a sudden.

Why can’t things be that simple again?

//

The party is at a frat house.

Jungkook can’t say he’s surprised.

He knows the moment he opens the front door, that tonight is probably going to end badly. He’s flanked by Namjoon, Taehyung and Hoseok - and the moment they walk into the house, they’re enveloped by the smell of alcohol and sweat.

Hoseok pulls a face, “Stinks in here.”

“This is why I hate frat parties,” Namjoon crinkles his nose in that way Jungkook knows is slightly snobbish, and groans, “Why did we agree to this?”

“Moral support,” Taehyung flicks his eyes around the room, “I’m pretty sure Park Jimin is a member of this frat.”

Jungkook ignores that. Why does he care what fraternity Jimin is a member of?

Namjoon opens his mouth to say something - perhaps to confirm what Taehyung has just said - when a decidedly drunk Kim Seokjin tumbles out of the kitchen and spots them from across the room.

“Namjoon!” Jin and Namjoon are both a part of the university’s debate team, and Jungkook has suspected for ages that Namjoon has a thing for him.

Jungkook bites back a smile as Jin rolls up - pupils smudged from alcohol consumption - and hair sticking up every which way.

“I never see you at these,” Jin slurs, passing Namjoon one of the two bottles of beers he’s precariously holding onto, “Oh my god you need to come and meet Min Yoongi! He’s one of my frat brothers but I’ve been telling him for ages he needs to join debate… He’s almost as good at arguing as you are!”

Namjoon throws a look at his friends, and Jungkook gestures for him to follow Jin. After all, what kind of best friend cock blocks a three year long crush? The dimples in his cheeks deepen as Namjoon smiles, turning to Jin and listening to him ramble on about how perfectly this illusive Min Yoongi would fit into their “debate dynamic.”

“Hopefully Joon actually finds the courage to flirt with him this time,” Hoseok watches the pair as they cut their way back towards the kitchen, “He’s spent years pining. Jin is clearly into him too.”

Jungkook watches as Jin sets his palm on the small of Namjoon’s back and leans in close to tell him something that apparently makes Namjoon chuckle.

“No shit,” Taehyung agrees, “They’ve been in love since forever. But unless Jin finally makes a move it won’t ever happen. Joon’s clueless.”

Jungkook scoffs, “That’s dumb. Jin is all over him. How can he not see that?”

Taehyung turns to him and gives him a look. One that very clearly reads: Are you fucking serious?

Jungkook rolls his eyes.

“Don’t start. Please. Not tonight.” Taehyung throws his hands in the air in surrender and steps away slightly, “I didn’t say anything.”

“I can read facial expressions,” Jungkook pulls a face, “I’m not that fucking inept.”

Just as Taehyung narrows his eyes, Jungkook spots a halo of brunette hair and a smile that once upon a time made him weak in the knees. Soomi.

“Hi,” She’s wearing the brightest shade of red on her lips and Jungkook supposes he should think that makes them look extra kissable. Except he doesn’t think that.

His stomach churns.

“Hi.” She takes a sip out of her solo cup, “I wasn’t sure you would actually show up.” “Yeah. Neither was I.”

He surprises himself with his honesty. Hoseok shifts slightly and Jungkook catches the movement in his peripheral vision. He turns to Soomi and smiles slightly.

“You’ve met my friends, right? Taehyung and Hoseok?”

He introduces them half heartedly, but Soomi smiles politely nonetheless. She doesn’t seem to sense his… His what? Unenthusiasm?

“Yeah. We met that time we went bowling right? For Y/N’s birthday?” At the mention of Y/N it almost feels like all the air has been sucked out of Jungkook’s lungs. He coughs awkwardly.

“Of course you did.”

Soomi licks her bottom lip, swiping off some of the makeup, and cocks her head to the side. She regards Jungkook for a moment before clicking her tongue.

“Can we talk?” She asks and Jungkook has never hated three words, more.

Taehyung’s eyes widen and Hoseok looks about ready to burst from all the weird, uncut tension, but Jungkook forces his expression to remain neutral.

“Sure,” He turns to his friends and smiles tightly, “Could you give us a second?”

“Yeah of course,” Taehyung answers way too quickly, “We’ll be in the kitchen okay?”

Jungkook nods, and Soomi tries to wave them off.

The whole thing is so uncomfortable, and Jungkook wishes the ground would open all the way up and swallow him whole.

When they’re alone, Soomi raises a well groomed brow.

“If you’re in love with Y/N, just tell me the truth,” She purses her lips, “I won’t be pissed. I want her to be happy, too. She’s my best friend.”

Jungkook feels like someone's just sucker punched him right in the chest.

No, no, no. Not again. This cannot be happening. He cannot be watching this happen all over again.

He feels something like horror settle in his bones.

“What the fuck?” It’s the only thing he can think of to say.

Soomi snorts a laugh, “You are, right? In love with her I mean?” “No - what… Why would you even say that?” “Because what other reason would there be for you to ignore us both the entire week?” “I wasn’t ignoring you-” Soomi holds up a hand at the interruption, “Jungkook I am a female and I am a millennial. I am well aware of what ignoring looks like.” He snaps his mouth shut.

Though it kills him to admit it - he supposes she’s right. He was ignoring her.

“That doesn’t mean I love her.”

“Of course it does,” She rolls her eyes, seemingly as exasperated as the rest of his friends, “Why else would you be so hurt?” “Because we were friends-” “For three months,” She frowns, “I’m not saying what Y/N did wasn’t shitty but… Doesn’t it hurt more because you sort of wanted it to be true?” He splutters.

“What?” “You wanted the story of you and Y/N sleeping together to be true.” She shrugs lightly, like she’s not insinuating Jungkook is in love with her best friend, “Because you’re into her.”

“I am not into her for fuck’s sake-” And then behind Soomi’s head, Jungkook spots something.

He spots Y/N - which of course is surprising in and of itself.

But what really makes him stop - what makes the words die on the tip of his tongue, and almost every thought fly out of his stupid, little brain is that Y/N isn’t alone.

Leaning against the wall to her left - hovering over her with a flirty smile and eyes that twinkle far too much for a non-magical being - is Park Jimin.

Park fucking Jimin.

Soomi turns when she sees that Jungkook is transfixed - she follows his gaze and when she spots what he sees, she sighs heavily.

“You’re really going to stand there and tell me you’re not in love with her?” She gestures between Y/N and Jimin, “You’re going to let this happen?”

Jungkook’s heart is in his throat. He’s seeing red.

He’s angry and hurt and confused and… Fuck.

Fuck.

FUCK.

He’s in love.

He’s in love with Y/N.

He swivels sharply to Soomi - eyes wide and surprised and all at once he wants to laugh and cry and maybe even throw up.

“Shit.” The word slips out of him, “Fuck. I’m sorry Soomi-”

“Don’t say sorry Jungkook. Just go over there and tell her how you feel,” She crosses her arms and pulls a face, “Do you really think I couldn’t tell?” “What?” She laughs a little, taken aback by Jungkook’s stupidity it seems. She shakes her head.

“I knew you were into her from that first night you came back to ours,” There’s a look on her face - something knowing and cheeky and Jungkook feels dumb, “Even if you don’t remember it, I do. You were all over each other. You thought she was the best thing since sliced bread. Drunk or not - those kinds of feelings don’t just… Disappear.”

Jungkook cocks his head, “But you thought I was pursuing you-”

“It was the easiest way to get the two of you to spend more time together,” She shrugs, seemingly nonchalant to the epiphany Jungkook is experiencing, “I thought maybe if you spent more time together, you would realise how you felt. You really think that night Y/N told me she was going on a date with someone from her English class, that I didn’t know it was you? I’m not dumb. I knew.” “So then why did you tell me the truth about that night?” She smiles softly, “You deserved to know. I knew Y/N wouldn’t tell you and I thought… Well I thought it would lead to this.” “This?” “You realising you’re completely obvious feelings,” She frowns then, “You have realised your feelings right?” Jungkook nods, once, dumbfounded.

She’s right. Soomi’s right and Taehyung’s right. And Hoseok and Namjoon are right too.

They’re all fucking right.

He’s in love with her.

“So then go,” Soomi pushes him towards Y/N, “Go and tell her how you feel.”

She shoves him unceremoniously into the crowd of drunk college kids, and for a moment Jungkook is overwhelmed.

How can he just tell her? How can he stand there and say “hello Y/N we haven’t spoken in a week, but actually I think I love you.”?

He’s always been shit with feelings, hasn’t he? But when he sees her face - a soft smile on her lips and her eyes sparkling slightly under the harsh lighting - he decides he doesn’t care. So what if it comes out messy and jumbled and so what if he sounds dumb.

He loves her doesn’t he? He needs to tell her.

He wants to tell her.

Park Jimin lifts a hand to move some of her hair out of the way and Jungkook feels like a furious bull running towards a red flag.

“Y/N.” Her name comes out breathless and a little angry.

She looks up at him, their eyes connecting for the first time in over a week, and Jungkook feels his heart melt like butter on a summer’s day.

“Oh.” She whispers it, “Jungkook.”

It’s like the whole room fades away. He knows it cheesy and cliche, and fuck he hates himself for thinking it, but suddenly it’s only him and her in the room.

“Hi.”

She smiles - unsure, “Hi.”

Jimin clears his throat and the spell is broken. Jungkook turns to him, dark brow raised.

“Jungkook hey. Long time no see man,” He smiles at him and Jungkook feels his chest tighten.

Jimin is so fucking handsome.

“Right… Hi Jimin.” Jungkook shakes the hand that’s been outstretched to him but drops it not a moment later. Y/N is still looking at him like he’s stolen the stars and used them to spell her name out for her.

He’s reminded of that first English class - the day Jungkook struck the deal with Y/N - the day Park Jimin walked into the room and Jungkook told her she was looking at Jimin the same way she’s looking at him right now.

His heart swells in his chest.

“Can we talk?” He asks, desperately, because he needs to speak to her right now. He needs to tell her how he feels - needs to get it all out in the open before he explodes.

“Oh. Right now?” She seems dazed but she turns to Jimin, “Is that okay?”

Jimin looks between the two of them before a wry smile lifts his lips. He nods.

“Sure. Take all the time you need.”

Jungkook sends him the most thankful expression he can muster, before he grabs Y/N’s hand and tugs her forward, leading them towards what he assumes is the front lawn.

She follows him wordlessly, hand trembling slightly in his and he squeezes her palm once, reassuringly, sending her a small smile over his shoulder. She seems surprised and overwhelmed and for a moment Jungkook feels a little guilty.

He hasn’t spoken to her in an entire week and now suddenly this? He can’t blame her for her surprise.

When they step outside the air is crisp and cold and biting, and Jungkook knows it might snow any minute but he needs privacy.

He drops her hand when they move a little further down the road, blanketed by darkness with nothing but the stars to light Y/N’s pretty face. He stops abruptly, turning to face her and Y/N is watching him carefully.

“Hi.” She says it like she can’t believe he’s here. He almost can’t believe it either.

“Hi.” He replies. She seems nervous and Jungkook hates that. He steps forward a little, pushing her hair out of her eyes.

She’s so pretty.

“You wanted to talk to me?” Their faces are close so Jungkook has to do everything in his power not to close the gap and just kiss her already.

He breathes out a little sigh, “Yeah.” “I’m sorry Jungkook.” There’s something like tears in her eyes, “For lying. I know I already said that… But I am really, really sorry. I wanted to text you this week but I couldn’t - I couldn’t bring myself to talk to you. I felt so guilty. I hate that I hurt you.”

A tear rolls down her rosy cheek, and Jungkook uses his thumb to swipe it away.

“I know you’re sorry.” He tells her, “What you did was shitty. But… I forgive you.” Her eyes widen, “You do?” “Yeah.”

The smile that breaks out across her face is beatific. Jungkook finds himself wondering how the fuck it took him so long to realise how beautiful she is?

“Thank you,” Her bottom lip trembles a little, and he hopes she isn’t cold, “I’m not sure I deserve it. But thank you.”

Jungkook moves his hand to cup her cheek and Y/N’s eyes widen further. He smiles, secretly, and his heart skips.

“You deserve the fucking world.”

Y/N seems to be holding her breath when she whispers, “So do you.”

He chuckles at that. Then he bites his bottom lip - eyes dropping to her mouth. She isn’t wearing lipstick - not even chapstick - but he can’t help but think how kissable they look.

“Soomi thinks I’m in love with you.”

Y/N looks distraught for a moment. She blinks rapidly, trying to soothe a wound that isn’t there.

“I’ll tell her,” She says quickly, “I’ll explain that we’re just friends-” “Why would you do that?”

She drops her mouth slightly and god Jungkook is so weak for her.

“I don’t - I never wanted her to get the wrong idea.” His smile shines with mirth. Jungkook loves her so fucking much.

“It’s not the wrong idea,” He answers firmly.

Y/N freezes. Her mouth opens and closes a few times. She closes her eyes.

“What?” The word is so quiet the wind almost takes it. But Jungkook hears it.

He presses forward, stopping a breadth away from her lips.

“I love you.” He tells her, and when she opens her eyes she looks like she might pass out.

“You - you do?” She chokes.

He laughs and nods.

And then… He kisses her.

Everything else melts away, and for once in his godforsaken life, Jungkook isn’t shit with feelings.

When Y/N pulls away for air, Jungkook slides one hand to the back of her head, using the other to play with a lock of hair framing her face. She is breathless and speechless and all together far too cute for her own fucking good.

And he loves her.

“You really mean it?” She asks, eyes shining with tears. These ones happy, thank god.

He laughs again and presses a kiss to the end of her cold nose, “Of course I do. I’ve probably been into you since the very beginning. Since the night you seduced me.”

Y/N laughs and shoves him playfully, but Jungkook only tightens his arms around her.

“You seduced me.” She argues, rolling her eyes.

Jungkook kisses her again and shrugs.

He doesn’t care how it happened. Because that was the night that changed everything.

And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

//

[arrtjensoo]

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᎒᎒ ⛧ 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐮𝐬𝐞 ᎒᎒ ⛧ 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ᎒᎒ ⛧𝐩𝐬𝐝𝐛𝐲 : @peachcoloring

[jeonggukieverse]

I love your writing 🥺 does 1,2,28 bring up any ideas for you? I was thinking light angst, but really comfort and tiny dashes of smut, short fic with F2L

Sleep deprived

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Friends to Lovers, Fluff

Warnings: light angst, implied smut

Word count: 2.3k+

A/N: Hi Anon, hope you enjoyed it! It was really fun to write

Prompts:

1: “We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.”

2: “Please don’t cry. I can’t stand to see you cry”

28: “Make me”

______________________________________________________________

What kind of friends hold hands 90% of the time? What kind of friends slept in the same bed almost every night? What kind of friends said ‘I love you’ to each other when saying goodbye?

You and Jungkook.

You and Jungkook were those irritating kinds of people. The type of people who acted like a couple but got upset with everyone who assumed you were dating. But you weren’t completely delusional, you could see how yours and Jungkook’s friendship could be misinterpreted but what can you say? It worked for both of you.

The odd thing is, you and Jungkook had only met 4 years ago at the start of college. You met in orientation and quickly became fast friends. Jungkook was a handsome guy and it would be a lie if you said you weren’t initially attracted to him but when he had gotten into a relationship in the second year of college it was clear that your feelings weren’t reciprocated. But it didn’t matter to you, you were satisfied being just friends with Jungkook. And you were. He had been in 2 relationships during the years that you had known each other and you had stuck by him through all of them. Much to his exes chagrin.

After his last break up, he had decided to stay single for a while. You think this is when your relationship crossed over from sharing notes in class to sharing a bed for naps but the transition felt natural so you just let it happen.

Things had been a little different lately though, Jungkook had been a little off with you since about a week ago.

You had texted him your usual good morning message but for the first time you had not received one back. This was extremely unusual behaviour so you texted his roommate Namjoon to ask if he was okay but to your surprise Namjoon confirmed the kid was completely fine and was eating a mountain of cereal as you spoke. That was odd? Had you done something wrong?

You decided to bring it up with him during your next class but to your surprise again you walked into your lecture hall to seen Jungkook sat with Dahyun. The sight stung you a little. You two had never not sat together.

The mystery of why Jungkook was ignoring you completely dominated your mind during the entire lecture. Your eyes burned holes into the back of his head as you observed him and Dahyun giggling together. Were you jealous? Why would you be jealous of your friend talking to someone else? No, you weren’t jealous, you were just concerned, right?

You were pulled out of your thoughts by the professor announcing the end of the lecture. He had also called Jungkook down to his desk just for a quick chat. Perfect! You would corner him after he had spoken to the professor and find out what the actual hell his problem was.

The lecture hall cleared out until it was just you stood on top of the stairs watching the professor speak to Jungkook. You couldn’t really hear what they were talking about but it must have been a good conversation, Jungkook smiled through the whole thing. That cute bunny smile that lit up his face. The way his nose scrunched and his eyes crinkled into crescent moons made your heart melt. This affection was soon overshadowed by a small twinge of fear. Had you done something to upset him? Is that why that smile hadn’t greeted you today?

Jungkook and the professor wrapped up their conversation and said their goodbyes. Jungkook spun on his heels to head out to his second lesson but his eyes landed on you on the stairs and his smile vanished.

“Hi kook, are you good?”

“yup”

“Oh, it’s just cause today you didn’t text me ba- “

“Look, _____, I really have to run. Can we talk later or at another time?”

This took you a back. Jungkook had never been so cold to you before. Never since meeting him have you seen a stoic expression on his face let alone had the expression made at you. It was jarring and honestly a little hurtful.

You swallowed down the lump in your throat and answered him anyways.

“S-sure. Yeah, okay, that’s fine. Um. Talk later...I guess?”

“Cool. see ya” he responded as cold as ice.

You had one more test. One more thing to check if things were really as dire as they seemed.

“Bye Jungkook. Love you”

He paused for a brief moment, contemplating how to respond.

Please Jungkook. Please just say it. Let me know everything will be okay. Just utter those two words back like you usually do, please.

“’Yeah, later ______”

You watched as he strode past you. Your eyes followed him, unable to take your eyes off his figure. It was only when he had disappeared through the door that you were finally able to release the sob that had been held in your chest. Why was he doing this and why was it affecting you so much?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Any hopes that this was just a passing thing and you and Jungkook would go back to normal soon began to dwindle. This was your 6th day of not speaking at all.

It was odd how much of your life was inter twined with his. How much everything reminded you of him. The ramen in your cupboard began to pile up cause you forget Jungkook isn’t there to eat them. That boy would eat 2 packets a day and you missed seeing him slurp up the noodles and you missed wiping the sauce off his face. But honestly you missed Jungkook the most when it was time for bed.

You had now become so accustomed his body wrapping around yours in bed that sleep was now impossible without him. You had bought some sleeping pills in hopes that they might help. You were going to try them tonight because there was no way your could go onto you 7th day of no sleep.

Your thoughts were interrupted by a knocking on your apartment door.

You opened the door and were completely shocked to find a dishevelled looking Jungkook. His usually bright eyes were gaunt and decorated with dark circles and bloodshot veins. His tan skin now pale and sickly. His appearance, unbeknownst to you, mirrored yours completely.

You didn’t speak a word to each other as he just barged into your apartment closing the door, taking off his shoes and taking your hand in his. Your emotions were now all over the place. You were confused, surprised, anticipating and nervous all at the same time and of course the lack of sleep heightened these emotions tenfold.

You didn’t want to think about anything, you were just happy to see him so you just let him drag you. Jungkook made his way to your bedroom and began taking off his jacket. Still completely silent. You observed him, never breaking the silence between you two. He was down to his socks, his t-shirt and his underwear. His usual sleep attire.

After he was done, he turned to you, grabbed your waist guided you down to the bed. He shifted and twisted you around until he was spooning you. This felt so familiar and comfortable but the air of confusion around you was undisputable.

“I haven’t slept in 6 days, I’m not comfortable sleeping without you anymore. Can I stay here please? Just for tonight?”

You felt his breath fan across the back of your neck. You considered it for a moment but your body screaming for the desire of a nights rest made your decision for you.

“Okay” you whispered your response before you felt his arm snake around your waist pulling you closer to him.

You missed this, you missed him.

It only took a few minutes before your and Jungkook’s breaths evened out, signalling that you were both asleep.

The bright light of the sun peeking through your window was what nudged you out of your peaceful much needed slumber. You looked down to see a large arm still wrapped around you.

So last night wasn’t a hallucination.

“_____, are you awake?” you heard a sleepy voice ask from behind you

“Oh, you’re talking to me now?” You answered bitterly. The sleep depravity and comfort had worn off, now just leaving you with confusion and annoyance as your primary emotions right now.

“I deserved that.”

“Yes, you fucking did. How could you just completely ignore me for 6 days? You literally pretended I didn’t exist for days with no explanation. Do you know how hurtful that was for me to think that I had done something to you? You couldn’t even spare me the curtesy of telling me to fuck off. I just became invisible to you”.

You hadn’t realised it but tears had started releasing themselves onto your pillow, the panic that you had lost him now being put into words was too much for you to bare and it was all too much.

“Please don’t cry. I can’t stand to see you cry” Jungkook said, arm pulling you even closer

“Well, its didn’t seem like you minded being the source of the tears. I mean, what kind of friend does th- “

“We’re not just friends and you fucking know it _____” he interrupted in a sharp tone.

“What do you mean?”

You stiffened at his words. You were so grateful you were still facing away from him cause your face would have been all he needed to see to know that you were lying. You knew exactly what he meant but you decided your safest bet was to play dumb.

He took in a deep breath and began:

“You know exactly what I mean. Normal ‘friends’ don’t do this _____. Normal friends don’t need each other to sleep. Normal ‘friends’ don’t constantly hold hands and normal ‘friends’ definitely do not say they love each other. And if you’ve convinced yourself that that’s not the case, you’re delusional. Same way I was. I was fully convinced our friendship was platonic until I heard you speaking to Namjoon about how you would never see me as anything more than a friend. How this would be it for us until we both found partners of our own. I should have just felt indifferent to this but it felt like you had ripped out my chest and pulled out my heart because it was then that I realised. It was never platonic for me. I slept in the same bed as you because I loved you. I held your hands all the time because I loved you. I said ‘I loved you’ all the time because…because I was in love with you and it felt good letting you know and hearing you say it back.

But hearing you tell namjoon you didn’t feel the same broke me and it didn’t feel good knowing that when I said I loved you, I meant it but you never would. At least not in the same way. So, I started to distance myself from you. To spare my heart.

I know it was selfish of me but _____ please try to understand. I never meant to hurt you.”

You were stunned. Was that really true? Did he really think that? Did he really love you? Did he honestly think that you didn’t feel the same?

You spun yourself around to finally face him.

“Do you seriously think that I didn’t feel the same way. Jungkook, I’ve been in love with you for years. I just thought that you didn’t feel the same way about me. How long have you felt like this?”

“Since I broke up with Somi a few years ago. I thought I broke up with her cause we weren’t compatible but I think deep down we broke up cause she wasn’t…you.”

Your eyes met as he tried to gauge your reaction to his revelation.

You stared at him, long and hard and decided to just do what you should have done years ago.

You leaned forward and your lips planted on his. His initial shock at your action vanished as he melted into your kiss. Arms still embracing each other this felt so natural.

After a few seconds you pulled away and said “I’ve loved you for years doofas, I just didn’t think YOU like ME like that so I just took whatever I got from you. If that was friendship, I was fine with that but im so happy that we aren’t just friends anymore”

“Miss _____, are you asking me out?” he teased

“Shut up!”

“Well, I accept! You madame, are now my girlfriend. That feels so good to say out loud. My girl, my baby, my boo, my little cupcake.”

You simultaneously hummed in agreement and punched him for how cringey he was. Regardless you snuggled in closer. It was only then when you fully pressed your body against his that you felt it.

Your eyes darted up to his face in shock. “Jungkook?!”

“What? What can I say?! It’s like it knows that were not just friends anymore. I can’t help it _____, it has a mind of its own”

“Don’t lie Kookie, you think I didn’t feel your dick pushing into my ass all those other times?”

“And, little miss innocent. Don’t act like you weren’t pushing your ass back onto it! Well now we’re together officially, you don’t have to be such tease a anymore. You can stop all of that”

“Oh yeah? Make me”

Jungkook paused and looked at you with a devious smirk on his face. His going to make you wish you never said that.

_____________________________________________________________

A/N:

Look, all the characters in my stories have no idea what communication is

[xonaoi]

jungkook x fem reader

warnings: idol!au, big dick jk, pussy slapping, spitting, rough rough sex, degrading words, sadist jk tbh, jealous sex is the best sex, breeding kink, breath play, unprotected sex… that’s it, i think..

“good fucking girl..” jungkook whispered. eyes covered from lust staring down at you. watching you struggle to breath.

i know what you might be thinking, ‘what the fuck is soul writing.. the mf is gonna kill the bitch..’ but trust me, i won’t let that happen just continue reading.

“such a slut. going around fucking my members..” he spitted out. his hips moving at a fast pace, bruising the same spot for more than 20 minutes now. soft moans slipped past your lips, eyes rolling to the back of your head at the immense pleasure you were receiving.

his hands slid off your neck watching you gasp for air. his tattooed hand coming in contact with your hard nipples playing around with the small bud, feeling you squeeze around his cock. “i knew i should’ve never trusted you around jimin.. i fucking knew it.”

“grow up..” you managed to spit out, your hands gripping onto his biceps, leaving small scratches behind them. the cross chain he was wearing kept hitting your chin, making you wince every time from the coldness. you were sweaty and sticky. you two were going for more than 3 hours now. you were tired out, clit puffy from being abused.

in those 3 hours you witnessed a whole new side to jungkook. the sadistic side. this man tried to technically kill you at least two times, but it was so fucking hot. the headboard endlessly hitting the wall as you screamed his name. jungkook whispering disgusting things in your ear.

“what if i fucked a baby into you.. you wouldn’t have any choice but to stay with me..” he whispered, his hand tracing your curves. you wanted to respond, but you couldn’t. a small smirk slowly formed on jungkook’s face as he watch you struggle for the nth time tonight.

pulling out jungkook heard you whine from the lost of his cock being inside you. he pushed his hair back as he watched you body go limp, “kook.. come back..”

slapping his rock hard dick over your pussy a few times he chuckled as he spitted on your pussy making you flinch from the sudden action. “you sure you can handle more?” he questioned in a teasing way.

nodding you watched him get back on top of you, that same old smirk on his pretty face. shoving his cock back into your puffy folds he groaned as you instantly squeezed around him.

“oh my god..” you whispered as you gripped onto the sheets.

“not god, baby. me.”

authors note;

i lowk hate this

but it’s okay ig..

[crysnowbaby]

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