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whateverthedragonswant · 2 years ago

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The Whole Jon, Arya, Sansa connection

I've said it before, that I believe Arya was meant to be a stand-in for Jon, to be the other Stark (second wolf) who Sansa could run things with. Arya was Sansa's sword in 7x07 (and because of the crypt scene in 7x02, it's a good bet had Jon been present, he would have executed Littlefinger himself), and naturally it was up to the last 4 Starks to save House Stark and the North.

But I was rewatching the scene from 8x04 where Jon is about to have Bran tell Arya and Sansa the truth about himself and it hit me, they really did do that.

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When mentioning they need to swear to never tell another soul, Jon looks to Sansa first:

There are a few different reasons this could be: Jon knows Sansa is the one that would be most impacted aka in danger if she doesn't keep it secret (since Dany specifically said she didn't want Sansa to know), Sansa will be the one to blow the whistle, he's worried about her reaction the most (since we know how much stock he puts into her opinion), etc.

He only looks to Arya at the end of his statement. Sansa looks to Arya who is looking back at her. Then Arya asks what it is. Jon tells her she needs to swear before he tells her. Sansa then asks how he can expect her to swear to keep it secret when she doesn't even know what the secret is. Jon tells her it's because they're family (which is exactly what he told Dany they were to him as well).

Considering that he is most worried about Sansa here when it comes to this information, I found it odd that while he and Sansa have that stare down, he then turns to Arya and makes her swear first. When she swears, then and only then does he turn to Sansa and makes her swear.

So that kind of threw me because Sansa was the one he was most worried about. Until it finally hit me:

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Two private reunions (where Sansa is mentioned in 8x01 by Jon and Arya sticks up for her showing they're united)

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Where we see Jon struggling on Rhaegal's back due to the NK using his storm bullshit, then Arya arming Sansa and sending her to the (allegedly) safest spot during the battle. Jon and Arya fight in the battle and Sansa ends up fighting her own battle in the crypt (though they cut that scene - I will never understand why but then they kept the out-of-nowhere Dany sword fight in). Arya kills the NK.

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Jon is fighting in The Last War while Arya is stuck in it and trying to flee. Arya went there to kill Cersei and Jon went there with Dany's men to overthrow (aka kill) Cersei. Sansa is not in this episode but we do get the scene above. A lot of people have pointed out how this scene is reminiscent of what happened to Sansa back in season 2 (and they're right), but it also connects to Sansa because of:

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"She's not the girl you remember. Not after what she's seen. Not after what they've done to her."

A lot of people were pissed at this line (not just due to Dany using it as manipulation), myself included, but we see Jon's reaction and how much that reminder affects him. (Kit is the master of microexpressions) We already knew how much what Ramsay did to Sansa affected him due to 6x09 and we see that desire to protect her in 7x02. We didn't need a reminder or for Dany to even say this line (other than showcasing her manipulation I mean) if there wasn't a reason.

The woman about to be assaulted is a citizen of King's Landing and the "invading army" is the perpetrator. Just like what Cersei told Sansa would happen back in season 2 should Stannis win/the city was sacked. And we all know that Stannis is a Dany mirror. So not only does this scene showcase Sansa's presence but it also links back to Dany herself when Mirri Maz Dhur said to her. "Tell me again exactly what it was you saved." Sansa, Dany, and Cersei have all been heavily paralleled, especially the former two, especially when it comes to Jon's story.

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Jon stands to Dany's right while she gives this speech. Arya watches from a distance (on the same side as Jon and Tyrion when he shows up). Winterfell is mentioned here specifically, not the region (i.e. Dorne, Qarth) or the Northern people. Just like Lannisport is mentioned which was the seat of power for House Lannister. So Sansa is present as well here.

Then:

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Sansa is mentioned here as well (and this is a sort of mirror/contrast to the 8x01 scene between them).

Tyrion mentions both of them to Jon to get him to act. He then mentions Sansa specifically and tells Jon he needs to choose.

Sansa and Arya both defend Jon here. Tyrion mentions to Jon that they both tried to free him.

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Sansa is in front of Arya and Bran when Jon sees them. The starting conversation is between Sansa and Jon, then moves to Jon and Arya. He shares embraces with both of them, but with Bran he has the least amount of dialogue and no embrace.

And then we get:

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And that made me think back to:

No matter that Bran became King of the 6K, these were the Starks it came down to. Arya was a stand-in for Jon while still maintaining her own story within the Pack and Stark family. Jon took out one threat to Westeros while Arya did the other. And Sansa was essential to both. She maintained Jon's army for him while he was gone and she handled all of the other things that needed handling with so many refugees flocking to Winterfell. She was Regent and ruled the North in his stead. She was also home when Arya returned, and worked with her and Bran to take down Littlefinger. (and I think it bears mentioning that Arya wouldn't have returned had she not heard that Winterfell had been taken back which we all know how instrumental Sansa was in that one) Sansa also saw Dany for what she was, stood up to her, and told the truth about Jon's parentage to save him which also has its own consequences. Sansa was the reason Jon killed Dany, in order to protect her like he promised. It's all connected.

While some have said that this could be OG Aegon and his two sisters, if that's the case, then we know which ones Arya and Sansa each represent and who had Aegon's heart. Not to mention, the image above of them in the crypt for the promo, Arya's wolf armor is on which is made to look different to Jon's and Sansa's furs, while Jon's and Sansa's furs look similar.

It really all came down to these three and they literally said in everything except explicit dialogue: 'Jon and Sansa were always a thing. Here's your power couple.' Arya was the connection between them while also being her own Pack member and having her own journey. There was still Stark Sister power but they literally froze Bran/3ER out after season 7 ended and Jon came back in 8x01.

Insane. The amount of acrobatics they did to show us what the real deal was while the GA was distracted by Dany and Jon was just nuts. But man do I love it.

#jonsa #jon x sansa #jonsaposts #jonsa meta #metaposts #it all came down to these three starks #gotposts #got #game of thrones #Youtube

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a-libra-writes · 4 years ago

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Game of Thrones - Love Letter and Handwriting Headcanons

In this preference, you'll be writing to: Ned Stark, Robb Stark, Sansa Stark, Jon Snow, Benjen Stark, Jory Cassel, Eddison Tollett, Yara Greyjoy, Daenerys Targaryen, Jorah Mormont, Missandei, Grey Worm, Tywin Lannister, Tyrion Lannister, Jaime Lannister, Sandor Clegane, Bronn, Petyr Baelish, Stannis Baratheon, Davos Seaworth, Margaery Tyrell, Brynden Tully, Edmure Tully, Brienne of Tarth, Ramsay Bolton, Roose Bolton, Oberyn Martell, Arianne Martell

my own silly fanfic made me think of this bc there’s letter writing later on in that. whee!

Ned Stark

His handwriting is neat, evenly spaced and fairly plain. It’s easily readable, which is the point - he knows not everyone is well-versed in letters and he tries to make it easier. Ned typical sends ravens, only writing a full letter for when he has to give instructions or relay something important. He has a formal Stark wax seal for this… and yes, he uses that same formal seal when he sends something to you. The more you exchange letters, the more relaxed he clearly becomes in writing. He knows he isn’t romantic or poetic by any means, but he hopes his affection for you comes across.

Robb Stark

Goodness knows he’s had endless lessons on writing properly and expressing the right words, but Robb just has no interest in it. His handwriting is perfectly legible but obviously hastily written, and he doesn’t care if there’s a few smudges or the paper gets dirty. When he’s writing to you, he’ll try to be neater… but sometimes he’s just got so much to say, and he’s so eager to send it, he doesn’t even notice the mess. Robb never thought he’d anticipate letters, especially romantic ones, but he loves receiving things from you. If you live far away, he feels the distance strongly and starts to rely on your letters to feel more connected to you.

Sansa Stark

As expected, her penmanship is pretty and neat. If she's in a good mood she'll add little flourishes here and there, but normally she's a bit embarrassed to do it. It feels childish to do that now. When she finds a nice stationary, she saves it until she writes to you. Her envelopes have the usual Stark direwolf with some wildflowers along the border. Honest and romantic words used to come easy to her, but now she’s more subdued. She’ll include pretty poetry she heard and wanted to share with you.

Jon Snow

His writing would be neater if he just slowed down, but he’s often in haste, especially once he becomes Lord Commander. He never cared about the proper penmanship or address because who would a bastard write to? Really, it’s lucky he was taught letters at all. He’d do his best to write neater for you, but the words keep escaping him - It’s hard enough to express how he feels in person, writing it isn’t any easier, no matter what Sam says. Jon always responds if you write to him, even if he’s blushing and feeling stupid the whole time.

Benjen Stark

He’s perfectly capable of writing neatly, but Benjen rarely bothers to. He jots down what he needs, though he at least has to make it legible - there’s only so many men that know their letters at the Wall, and Benjen has to keep his orders neat. When you pass him a secret letter, he’s grinning like a boy. He thinks it’s adorable that you went through the effort of finding supplies and writing something so sweet. He’ll ask to read it in front of you, but if you make him do it in secret, he’ll want to run and find you as soon as he’s done. He’d fold it up tight and keep it in a safe pouch tied to his belt.

Jory Cassel

His handwriting is pretty messy. Jory was never bothered by it until he had to write you something. Oh no. Wasn't there a proper way to address you? What if it was too personal, or too standoffish? Poor Jory overthinks his letters unless you two write with frequency. His handwriting won't get better, but he's more comfortable writing sweet things. He likes to keep his envelopes and papers plain so no one suspects anything, which is a good habit if you’re dating in secret, but a silly once if you’re married.

Eddison Tollett

He jokes it’s a small miracle that he knows his letters, poor as his family was. He likes to pretend he doesn’t, just so the higher ups on the Wall won’t give him extra duties like they did Sam. Reading never interested him, and he had no one to write to, so it’s just not something he thinks about. When you slip him a letter, he just stares at it dumbly for a minute. Once Edd has a chance to open it up, he’s a little taken aback. What… should he do? Should he talk to you? Respond to it? He’s never had such a nice gesture given to him, never had anyone write such nice things to him (has he even received a letter before??). So the next time to meet him, he still has a stupefied look on his face. And here he was thinking nothing on the Wall could surprise him anymore..

Yara Greyjoy

She was taught writing and reading by her nuncle - because the Gods know her father hardly bothered - so she actually has fond memories of both, even if she hardly does it. Yara would be very curious by anything you sent. Was something wrong? If it smelled of perfume or had a pretty stationary, she’d snort… but once she read the contents, she’d just grin and laugh. If the letter is more romantic, she finds it silly, but so like you. Very endearing. If it’s more saucy and risque, well … she’s going to read this in private and take her time.

Daenerys Targaryen

Her handwriting wasn’t as neat as it could’ve been, given her upbringing. It’s a point of embarrassment, so Dany practices pretty lettering and uses interesting inks she’s found around the markets. It’s a bit relaxing, though when she’s writing something official as Khaleesi and Queen, she makes sure it’s perfect. She’s pleasantly surprised when you write her something - has she ever actually received something this sweet before? She’ll write you back with a smile on her face, and she likes any chance to use that fancy Targaryen seal. Dany will still love to receive and send letters even if you both are staying in a palace together. It’s just one of many romantic gestures she thought she’d never enjoy.

Jorah Mormont

Jorah's handwriting is nice, but he usually writes in haste, so several letters end up smudged. He doesn't like to waste paper and start over. Jorah really can’t believe that you’d send him something romantic and sweet; he tries to hide his grin and blush, but he’ll wear it the whole time he’s reading. When he's writing something really sweet to you, it gets him flustered and happy, so whole words end up smudged. He doesn't notice the ink on his hand until he's already put the letter in the envelope. He keeps whatever you’ve sent him in a protective leather book so they can’t get damaged.

Missandei

She has lovely handwriting in many languages, as she was taught. The neatness of the lines and letters really is impressive. When she's writing something sweet to you, she pauses and struggles with the words for a while. Missandei always has the sweetest, most thoughtful letters - more sentimental than romantic. Her letters are punctuated with citrus smelling paper and a modestly decorated envelope.

Grey Worm

He’s only recently learned to read, and writing is still a struggle - he’d be very intimidated at the idea of writing something to you. When you give him something to read for practice, it takes Grey Worm a few minutes before he realizes it’s something you wrote. And it’s for him! And about him! He’s very happy but also very flustered. It takes him longer to get through it, but he can’t stop smiling all day once he’s done. He aspires to write something just as nice, once he’s practiced more. He’d keep your letters in a safe place, and wouldn’t want anyone else to see them.

Tywin Lannister

His penmanship is near perfect, which you expected. It’s always written in a stark black ink on fine, almost marbled paper that has an equally officially looking gold Lannister seal on the envelope. People whisper it’s liquid gold that seals it, but you know better. Tywin’s letters are for business only, so he doesn’t expect you to send him anything romantic… He wouldn’t know what to do with it, besides read it with some amusement and tuck it away for later. You might think he never read it, until he’ll tease you by quoting it weeks later.

Tyrion Lannister

His handwriting is elegant and flawless, as it was meant to be. When Tyrion’s tired he’ll smudge here and there, and depending on how important the letter is, he’ll start over entirely. When he receives your first letter, he’s surprised by the pretty stationary and envelope - this is for him? - and the contents are even better. Tyrion might have a small mental shutdown if you write him something romantic and kind. He’ll re-read it over and over and be distracted through much of the day. This is really for him? He has to respond, of course, and he’ll do it while his emotions are high. For once he doesn’t think on carefully crafted words, he writes what he feels and picks a more subtle stationary (no giant Lannister seals) so attention isn’t drawn to you.

Jaime Lannister

Gods, he hates writing. Just sitting down to write a report is bad enough, but when it's something important? When it's a response to something lovely you wrote? He struggles. The letters start moving around like they used to, he remembers those awful lessons with his father and he's just put off by the whole thing. Seeing you in person is far better. Jaime's handwriting is neat, because it had to be, though when he's upset he'll write a few letters backwards.

Sandor Clegane

It's a mess. Really, the fact his words are readable is a miracle. 'Chicken scratch' is a generous term, though his name is passable. If you wrote him a letter, he'd have no idea what to do with it, let alone how to respond. Sandor doesn't do sentiment like that; seeing you in person can be conflicting and confusing enough. He'd probably rip it up and burn it after drinking too much (and immediately regret that in the morning).

Bronn

He's barely literate, and not a man of flowery words anyway, so don't respect a response. If anything he'd hand the letter to Tyrion and ask him to read it - only for it to be handed back once Tyrion realized it was very personal and... revealing. Bronn doesn't worry about a response or consider you getting upset about it. If you are, he has ways to make up for it.

Petyr Baelish

You expected him to have neat penmanship, but you didn't expect it to be this nice. And of course, his way with words shows in his letters, but it's even better. You might even blush and have to excuse yourself to read it in private. Petyr loves to write on fancy paper with fancier envelopes that have his sigil, but if they're meant to be secret, the only indicator is a little symbol on the envelope's seal. He delights in anything you send him, especially if he can smell your perfume on it.

Stannis Baratheon

Stannis writes very neat letters with equally impossibly neat rows. He has a habit of gripping his quill too tight, but his letters are concise so his hand doesn’t hurt. While he usually writes quickly because he knows what to say, when he writes to you, he pauses far too often. Sometimes ink drips on the paper while he’s thinking, sometimes he misspells a word he’s never gotten wrong before. It takes a long time, especially if he’s responding to something that was very sweet and romantic. His first letters were very awkward and halting, but they’ve steadily improved. Mostly.

Davos Seaworth

You were the one who helped him with writing, after helping him read as well. Davos isn’t happy with his penmanship, but he didn’t think he’d make it this far, so he keeps trying when he has time. It’s messy but legible enough. Davos is always pleasantly surprised when you write to him; he loves that you took the time to send something so sweet. It’s hard for him to reply efficiently, or to put what he’s thinking into words, so sometimes he’ll wait for you to get back instead. He would use your letters to practice reading… but it gets him terribly flustered to read the same kind things over and over again.

Margaery Tyrell

She doesn't mind taking the extra time to make her letters extra beautiful, to press dried flower petals and put them in the envelope, to look through dozens of stationary to find one that's just right for her mood. For most people, they're lucky to get one of these little rituals - you get all of them. She'd be delighted if you took extra care in your letters, too, and naturally she keeps whatever you send her in a special box (that absolutely no one will find).

Brynden Tully

It's no surprise that his handwriting is simple and gets the job done. His brother used to complain that he wrote like a soldier, not a lord, and Brynden is proud of that. He won't wax poetic to you, but he will plainly state that he misses you and he always writes back promptly. Brynden feels bad that his letters take so long to arrive, so he'll make them longer with funny anecdotes and things he's heard from travellers. He folds his letter a few times and wraps it in a protective parchment, just in case rain comes or some idiot drops it.

Edmure Tully

He writes well enough, with neat letters that are jotted down in haste. Edmure almost never stays and lingers on words and sentences, he just writes what comes to mind and moves on. He’s shocked in a good way when you write something to him - you missed him that much? Enough to write all this? He re-reads it several times, and keeps whatever you send him after that. He’ll eagerly write back, and even if it’s silly and awkwardly worded, you can feel the love in every letter. His letters are often a bit crumpled and are plain except for the Tully seal.

Brienne of Tarth

It might surprise some that she has a lady's penmanship. It was never something Brienne had trouble learning, though she often accidentally broke the quill by holding too hard. Though she cherishes the kind things you send her (and she blushes terribly as she reads them), she struggles to send something in return. Her words fail her and she feels embarrassed for trying, but she does try. Seeing you in person is so much easier, though. She likes to keep your letters in a safe place and read them when she's feeling down.

Ramsay Bolton

The letters are messy, but legible enough. The real issue is all the stains on the paper, usually a combination of mud, blood or water. He has little care for the proper way to write or address others; Roose may have given him the bare minimum and not expected him to actually use it. Ramsay is very surprised and amused by anything you send him, though. He considers writing something back, but decides to wait or just go and see you directly. That’s far more fun.

Roose Bolton

His handwriting is functional and his words are to the point. There's nothing outstanding about the letter or its contents, save for a blood-red Bolton seal on the envelope. Roose rarely sends full letters, though; it's a quick Raven or nothing. Though he won't mind anything you send… he'll be very pleased with how personal they become, and he still won't send anything back right away, if he does at all. Better to keep you in anticipation.

Oberyn Martell

Oberyn has a stylish flourish to his letters that’s unique to him. If that didn’t give it away, the pretty gold ink or embellished envelope will. Often it has the spear as a seal, sometimes it’s some interesting and strange stamp he picked up from his travels. There’s always a slight scent to his letters, and you can’t always place it. The actual words themselves are often scandalous and teasing, though he’s sent plenty of heartfelt things, especially if you enjoy it. He’s no poet, but he’s honest and romantic. Oberyn much prefers to see you in person, but he likes to receive sweet things and re-read them.

Arianne Martell

Her handwriting is beautifully elegant, and she loves getting ahold of pretty colored inks and papers. Her letters straddle a fine line between romantic and a little scandalous, and she likes to use pet names, as if you both are writing in secret. Her envelopes have a pleasant smell, and the official Martell seal. If she wants her letter to be sent especially fast, she’ll take her father’s seal. She keeps anything you send her in a pretty, hand carved wooden box with a lock and key.

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shenanigans-and-imagines · 3 years ago

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can you tell us more about marya’s relationship with stannis and how their marriage is?

A/N: Oh I haven't thought about Marya in a minute, but thank you for this! I hope you don't mind this is going to be a bit more loose and rambling.

Marya (Stark) Baratheon Character Bio

I know I would want them to actually love and care for each other; Stannis is not overt in his affections but over years of marriage, Marya has learned to read him and knows how he express himself through action more than anything else

Marya is more overt, which leads some to believe that she is this poor romantic loving a man who cannot love her in return

It took them a while to get there though, slowly building their marriage and love over time, but they did have the benefit of starting off on a better foot then most

I wanted one of their first interactions to be in the Red Keep, where they have to go down into the main throne room; Marya isn't coming out of her room when Stannis is sent to bring her down

She tells him she doesn't want to go in there as it is where her brother and father died, not to mention all of the eyes on the court being on her who they already perceive her to be some fragile girl from the North

Stannis then tells her that she is to be his wife and as such, it is his duty to guard her from harm, real or imagined. He cannot promise any grand feelings of love, but he will fulfill his duty to the letter.

After the chaos of the war as well as loosing so many of her family, the promise takes a much deeper hold in her heart than if he said he loved her, and so decides then and there to do her best to make up the difference

She makes an effort to learn his interests and make herself useful as now Lady of Dragonstone and in his duties as Master of Ships

Stannis in turn starts to slowly open up to her, quickly discovering her wicked wit behind closed doors and some of the brightness she's lost over the years

It does take Stannis longer to realize he loves Marya then vice versa, mostly because he's just not a man who is in touch with his feelings, and assumes any affection she shows him she's doing out of some kind of obligation as his wife

I'm thinking it's at least two years into their marriage until they fully say "I love you" too each other, and really mean it

Rough version of the scene: she and Stannis are talking and Stannis says something that gives Marya pause. She then tells him, "for a man who claims not to be romantic, sometimes you say very sweet things" and Stannis, almost offended is just like, "I'm just saying what's true" and Marya responds with, "well, go on then, what else do you find true about me". He shoots back with, "I know you're laughing at me, for one", but then goes on to say things like, "people who say you're more doe then wolf don't know you very well" and "you talk in your sleep" and "I wish I knew how to make you smile on purpose", each little thing getting more revealing until he kind of freezes up. Marya then takes the lead and starts listing things she knows are true about him, ending it by saying "I know you love me" and Stannis is just like, "do you?" and she responds with "yes, which is quite convenient for me since I love you too". She gives him a quick kiss and they continue what they were doing before.

They do hit some rough patches though, namely Marya has a few miscarriages before eventually giving birth to Shireen

Marya is already frail, but the miscarriages wreck her emotionally and physically; both of witch Stannis is not completely equipped to handle

I do think he is aware enough to know she cannot do it alone and Marya is happiest when she's with her family

After her first miscarriage he actually wrote to Winterfell requesting Catelyn come, knowing how close the two of them are and fearing that without proper care Marya might just slip out of her room and walk into the ocean

It gets really bad

There are also her visions

After moving south, Marya wasn't connected to the Old Gods and her green sight as much, due to the lack of Weirwood trees; however, as a wedding present, Ned gifted her a Weirwood sapling allowing her to grow her own Gods Wood at Dragonstone

As the tree grows, her connection to the Old Gods grows back as well, allowing her to have visions again, even if she doesn't fully understand them

Before the start of the series she's had a handful that left her bed ridden for a few days; luckily she was in Dragonstone, so none of the court saw it

This leaves Stannis in near constant concern for her health which adds its own strain, particularly with the understanding that trying to have another child after Shireen would most likely kill her

Overall though, theirs is a more gentle love then others might appreciate

I’ve got a lot more little moments between them buzzing around my brain if you’re interested, including the one time Mayra basically go kicked out of the Red Keep after slapping Joffrey, but that might be for another day. Either way, feel free to drop an ask my way!

#game of thrones #asoiaf #stannis baratheon #stannis baratheon x oc #marya stark #marya baratheon #game of thrones oc #asoiaf oc #stannis baratheon x reader

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twinsarekeepers · 4 years ago

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The more I reread the PJO series, the more clear it is to me that Annabeth isn’t white.

(I know y’all are going to be in my mentions like “oh but she has blonde hair and grey eyes she can’t be black or brown” and I KNOW! I know RR saw her as a white girl when he was writing the books. I am aware of that fact. It just so happens that I can see a ton of my own experiences (specifically related to being a brown woman) in the way she’s perceived by other characters.)

So, like, in the first book, she was so mad at Percy because he got a quest even though he knew particularly nothing about the demigod world (and everything he did know was stuff she taught him) and she had been working basically her whole life to get one. I mean, seriously, she was more equipped to lead a quest because she’d literally lived on streets before. (And I know they banned quests after Luke’s and it was a special circumstance so they had to give one to Percy but it’s so clear that he has no idea what’s going on and that he agrees to bring Annabeth along because he knows he’ll need her intelligence and expertise to complete the quest).

And, like, she is literally the most educated, knowledgeable person on the Argo II, ffs she’s LITERALLY the daughter of Athena, but her intelligence is constantly questioned. (And I know it’s because RR was like “oh it’s because she’s blonde” 🙄 Istg, I’m going to strangle that man in his sleep). But, who is the most educated demographic in the US and are still constantly overlooked and their intelligence insulted? Black women. I just—RICHARD, IT WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU IM GOING TO SCREAM!

The other characters see her as this strong, tough warrior, but she literally cries in every book. That’s not to say she’s not strong or tough or a warrior, but she is also soft and gentle and that’s extremely overlooked by not just the characters, but the fandom as well. The way she holds Percy’s hand in times when he’s stressed out and assures him when he’s feeling like he can’t do something. The way she comforts characters who are in emotional pain like Juniper and Silena. When Piper first got to camp and Annabeth showed her around and tried to make her feel at home. Even when Drew was being mean to Piper, Annabeth didn’t take sides and instead mitigated the tension. She cheered Hazel up after her fight with Jason. Frank came to her for advice and she was very considerate of his feelings and comfort. She was intuitive enough to figure out why Leo acted the way he did and than she defended his actions to Frank. These are all things that she does that are vulnerable and show her heart but most of the characters still view her as scary and intimidating.

And they see Annabeth as strong enough to just handle emotional turmoil all by herself. Like, y’all remember when Percy was kind of surprised that Annabeth needed a hug in BOTL? (Why? He’s seen her cry before. He’s seen her need comfort before. What makes him think it would be a one time thing?). Or when he didn’t tell her that he was worried about her? (He really said “stay here and protect Nico and Rachel”. And then in his head he was like, “I didn’t tell Annabeth but I was worried about her too.” MY GUY?? WHY WOULDN’T YOU TELL HER??) Or how about when she was literally sobbing on the ground after seeing Luke turn into Kronos and Percy, Rachel, and Nico were just … standing around, talking. Percy literally tried to pick a fight with her in that moment. Like, wtf was that?? (I mean, he tried to be a little bit more gentle with her when he was telling her to get up and leave but at that point, the damage is done, dude, you’ve already kicked her while she was down).

This connects to how she’s stripped of her femininity. The fact that she’s canonically good at weaving (a traditionally feminine task) and it seems to be forgotten by all the characters and even the fandom. The fact that she enjoys wearing dresses and makeup and jewelry but Percy finds those things awkward on her (I made a post about that here if y’all want to read it. The Richard stannies found it though so beware the notes). There are so many instances in the books where she so obviously fits into a traditionally feminine role but they’re glossed over or ignored. As a South Asian woman, I know how this feels.

Okay and then on Circe’s Island, when Circe said something like “oh and that HAIR!” and Annabeth was like “what’s wrong with my hair?” …. That’s a micro aggression if I’ve ever seen one. I just know if Annabeth was a white girl with type 3, loose ass curls, Circe would not have said that shit.

And all of the reasons we think Percy is not white ALSO APPPLY TO ANNABETH. Like, she went to through all the same stuff that Percy went through in the mortal world. She literally said as much in the beginning of TLT.

Annabeth is just so clearly not white to me. And the fact that RR didn’t see how so many of her experiences lined up with a black or brown woman’s will actually be my villain origin story. He really wrote “she’s oppressed because she’s blonde” with his whole chest. Great job in proving how much of a rich, white man you are, Richard.

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goodqueenaly · 3 years ago

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Roose is a turncloak and a Kingslayer. He has betrayed his countrymen to the southerners to put himself in place of the Starks. So why does he draw the line at kin slaying? Especially since he knows that Ramsey is a murdering psychopath who endangers everything that Roose has worked for?

For one, I'm not sure it's entirely correct to say that Roose "betrayed his countrymen to the southerners" considering Roose also seems to be planning to betray the (obviously non-northern) Baratheon-Lannister regime which helped hand over power to him. After all, Tywin's plan was to wear out the Bolton forces against both the Greyjoys and northern Stark loyalists, a fact which Roose may very well have guessed; Roose might also have figured that between Sansa, the last known legitimate Stark, and her lord husband Tyrion (or so Tywin planned) and Roose's own bastard son and a girl known not to be the true Arya Stark, his own faction would have an uphill battle for the claim to Winterfell. So, as Barbrey Dustin notes, Roose has plans of his own independent (pun intended) of the Baratheon-Lannister regime:

"Truth be told," she said, "Lord Bolton aspires to more than mere lordship. Why not King of the North? Tywin Lannister is dead, the Kingslayer is maimed, the Imp is fled. The Lannisters are a spent force, and you were kind enough to rid him of the Starks. Old Walder Frey will not object to his fat little Walda becoming a queen. White Harbor might prove troublesome should Lord Wyman survive this coming battle … [sic] but I am quite sure that he will not. No more than Stannis. Roose will remove both of them, as he removed the Young Wolf. Who else is there?"

(Unless the point is that the Freys are the "southerners" in this question? Which, sure, Roose is certainly planning on fathering (and has fathered) a child by his new Frey wife with the intent, I think, of leaving his lands and titles to this child, and he's certainly not turning down military assistance from the Twins, but I would hesitate to call that betraying his countrymen for the southerners. After all, Roose isn't holding out his regime as a Bolton-Frey dynasty, just a Bolton dynasty; he has also gathered a crop of northern vassals around him to acknowledge his new regime, some of whom - notably the Dustins, Ryswells, and Karstarks, under Arnolf - want to see him and that new regime succeed.)

Anyway, I think Roose himself provides a clue as to why he balks at the idea of kinslaying:

"A year later this same wench had the impudence to turn up at the Dreadfort with a squalling, red-faced monster that she claimed was my own get. I should've had the mother whipped and thrown her child down a well ... [sic] but the babe did have my eyes. She told me that when her dead husband's brother saw those eyes, he beat her bloody and drove her from the mill. That annoyed me, so I gave her the mill and had the brother's tongue cut out, to make certain he did not go running to Winterfell with tales that might disturb Lord Rickard.["]

Roose sees himself as the absolute, unquestioned master of his universe (which is to say, the inheritance of House Bolton). In that universe, there are only two classes of people, master and slave (and don't be fooled, Roose totally considers these people his slaves even if he doesn't chain them or use the term); Roose and his Bolton kin are the masters, and the rest of the people are the slaves. While Ramsay, as the bastard child of one of Roose's de facto slaves, should have been part of what Roose considers the slave class himself - and, thus, free to be disposed of, in Roose's mind - he bears the distinction of having Roose's eyes. These eyes advertise Ramsay's biological connection to the master class; to attack someone for those eyes, as the miller's brother did to the miller's widow for Ramsay, is to attack the master class itself, something Roose cannot tolerate (and so why he has the brother ruthlessly mutilated and impoverished). So Ramsay is allowed to live, I think, as a symbol of the supremacy of House Bolton: Roose cannot suffer another Bolton, even a bastard Bolton born (again, so Roose believes) of the rape of a slave, to be intentionally killed or assaulted (especially by another Bolton), lest the people Roose thinks of as his slaves forget that the Boltons are their masters and must be feared as such.

Which is not to say that Roose cares for Ramsay. Not at all: Roose explicitly informed Ramsay's mother that "she was never to tell the boy who had fathered him" and told Theon that Ramsay "should have been content to grind corn". In the class hierarchy of the Bolton domain, the young Ramsay still ranked far below legitimate Boltons, a slave in Roose's mind in all but appearance; Roose would never have replaced Domeric, his legitimate and blue-blooded son, with a bastard born from one of his slaves. Nor is Roose unaware that Ramsay is manifestly unfit to be master (a very deliberate term) of the North someday. Rather, I think Roose has turned to Ramsay as a dynastic stopgap: should Roose himself die without a legitimate, blue-blooded heir, Ramsay would ensure that the Dreadfort and all Bolton properties would remain with the master Bolton race, albeit embodied in a lesser dynast than he, Roose, would prefer. (Of course, once Roose could be sure he had another legitimate, blue-blooded heir on the way, I think he's decided Ramsay has outlived his dynastic usefulness.)

#asoiaf meta #roose bolton #kinslaying #ramsay snow

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jackoshadows · 3 years ago

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what i don’t understand is sansa stans who insist that she learnt from the best (cersei ans littlefinger) and so she’ll be an amazing ruler and player. first of all, when did she learn about the game from cersei? she was a hostage in kings landing, she wasn’t sitting in on small council meetings or anything and cersei definitely wasn’t telling her about all the moves she was making. the only time cersei really gives her ‘advice’ is during blackwater when she says that ‘tears/sex is a woman’s weapon’. regardless, cersei isn’t someone you want to be taught from, she makes terrible decision after terrible decision in affc. (since we’re on this topic, dany is the younger and more beautiful queen who foils cersei).

as for littlefinger, he’s definitely not a leader or ruler. he subtly manipulates things here and there and gets away with a lot of it because he stays under the radar. he’s not someone who inspires devotion for sure. nothing about the vale arc in affc puts sansa in an actual leadership position.

I agree it's best that no one learns how to be a ruler from Cersei Lannister, considering how much she messes up in AFfC.

And yes, it’s my opinion that Sansa's arc is leading towards outwitting Littlefinger and understanding how to play the game rather than ruling. And with two books left to go, she still has a lot of learning to do and being able to process the information available to her, analyze it and connect the dots and use the data to her advantage.

I just finished my ADwD and TWoW sample chapter re-reads so a rather long essay under the cut.

Sansa did acknowledge early on that unlike Cersei, if she were to become queen, she would prioritize getting the people's love over their fear - like the Tyrells did. But unlike the majority opinion of fandom, I think that this points to Sansa giving more importance to PR than to actual ruling. That it was better to be a loved monarch than a feared one.

It’s funny that Sansa stans often point the finger at Dany as being narcissistic, entitled and arrogant, when the few comments that Sansa makes about being queen revolve around her.

“Go ahead, call me all the names you want,” Sansa said airily. “You won’t dare when I’m married to Joffrey. You’ll have to bow to me and call me Your Grace. ” - Sansa, AGoT

“ If I am ever a queen, I'll make them love me.” - Sansa, ACoK

Compare her quotes to those of current leaders/rulers in the books:

A good lord protects his people, he reminded himself. - Bran, ACoK

“Why do the gods make kings and queens, if not to protect the ones who can’t protect themselves?“ - Daenerys, ASoS

“And I know that a king protects his people, or he is no king at all.” Davos, ASoS

I was trying to win the throne to save the kingdom, when I should have been trying to save the kingdom to win the throne." - Stannis, ASoS

“I am the shield that guards the realms of men. Those are the words. So tell me, my lord— what are these wildlings, if not men?” - Jon Snow, ADwD

The other leaders in the quotes are putting the people first, prioritizing the people’s needs first no matter how much it affects the rulers themselves. Jon’s decision to let the Wildlings through the wall is necessary, but highly unpopular among his men. And ruling is more than just being beloved by the people -

"Allow me to give my lord one last piece of counsel,” the old man had said, “the same council that I one gave my brother when we parted for the last time. He was three-and-thirty when the Great Council chose him to mount the Iron Throne. A man grown with sons of his own, yet in some ways still a boy. Egg had an innocence to him, a sweetness we all loved. Kill the boy within you, I told him the day I took the ship for the Wall. It takes a man to rule. An Aegon, not an Egg. Kill boy and let the man be born.” The old man felt Jon’s face. “You are half the age that Egg was, and your own burden is a crueler one, I fear. You will have little joy of your command, but I think you have the strength in you to do the things that must be done. Kill the boy, Jon Snow. Winter is almost upon us. Kill the boy and let the man be born.” - Jon Snow, ADwD

This is the hard part of ruling be it in the middle ages or now. It’s not enough to be a good man to be an effective ruler. It’s complicated and it’s hard. How do I resolve this thing? Do I do the moral thing? But what about the political consequences of the moral thing? Do I do the pragmatic, cynical thing and kind of screw the people who are screwed by it? I mean, it is HARD. - GRRM

In this context, Sansa’s quote about being queen comes off as naive, ignorant, fairy taleish, like the queens in her stories - where everyone loves the queens and that’s all that’s necessary to be one.

It’s easy for Sansa stans to nitpick and criticize each and every one of Dany’s decisions and then praise future best queen Sansa - who has done absolutely nothing as a leader and has instead thus far served as an uncritical narrator to events around her. We don’t know what kind of leader Sansa would be because she has never been put in those situations or even shown an aptitude for strategic thinking.

Let me use an example I came across while recently re-reading ADwD and TWoW sample chapters. TWoW spoilers - if you don’t want to be spoiled on TWoW, please read no further.

-------------------------------------------------------

In ADwD, Jon is confronted with food shortage if they let the Wildlings through the wall:

“If we had sufficient coin, we could buy food from the south and bring it in by ship,” the Lord Steward said. We could, thought Jon, if we had the gold, and someone willing to sell us food. Both of those were lacking. Our best hope may be the Eyrie. The Vale of Arryn was famously fertile and had gone untouched during the fighting. - Jon Snow, ADwD

I have already written extensively on Jon’s political know-how of the North and using it in his strategizing and planning of Stannis’ campaign. But here we see that his knowledge extends to the south, where, knowing that the Vale stayed neutral during the WOT5K and it’s geography of being fertile, he sees it as a possible source to buy food for the Wall.

Now let’s go to the Vale in book 6, TWoW, Alayne’s sample chapter. After being called a bastard by Harry the Heir, a hurt Sansa goes looking for Littlefinger and chances upon a scheme of price gouging:

Near the bottom, she heard Lord Grafton’s booming voice, and followed.

“The merchants are clamoring to buy and the lords are clamoring to sell,” the Gulltowner was saying when she found them. Though not a tall man, Grafton was wide, with thick arms and shoulders. His hair was a dirty blond mop. “How am I to stop that, my lord?”

“Post guardsmen on the docks. If need be, seize the ships. How does not matter, so long as no food leaves the Vale”

“These prices, though,” protested fat Lord Belmore,”

“These prices are more than fair. Wait. If need be, buy the food yourself and keep it stored. Winter is coming. Prices must go higher.”

“Perhaps,” said Belmore, doubtfully. “Bronze Yohn will not wait, ” Grafton complained. “He need not ship through Gulltown, he has his own ports. Whilst we are hoarding our harvest, Royce and the other Lords Declarant will turn theirs into silver, you may be sure of that.”

“Let us hope so,” said Petyr. “When their granaries are empty, they will need every scrap of that silver to buy sustenance from us. And now if you will excuse me, my lord, it would seem my daughter has need of me.”

“Lady Alayne,” Lord Grafton said. “You look bright-eyed this morning.” ” You are kind to say so, my lord. Father, I am sorry to disturb you, but I thought you would want to know that the Waynwoods have arrived.”

We are now in book 6 territory, this would be the point where a future queen/leader Sansa reflects on what she just saw - Littlefinger is hoarding grain and letting Royce and others sell theirs so that he can later increase the prices for demand from a starving populace and have the rest of the Vale Lords be dependent on him and with winter coming, there is currently much demand for the grain.

This would be where, if GRRM is writing for the future leader of the North, Sansa would wonder what is happening in the North with respect to the food situation since she just heard that merchants are clamoring for grain and winter is coming. Or she would think on LF’s scheme - is it a good plan or a bad plan? Does she think that Yohn Royce is right to sell his grain? What is her view on hoarding all the food for price gouging while people possibly starve elsewhere? What does she think of starving the populace for profit? Does she approve? Or does she think it’s ethically wrong?

We get no answers to these questions to give us a hint of what kind of ruler future best queen Sansa will be. It’s a blank slate because while Sansa acts as a narrator here and describes one of LF’s little schemes, she herself as no opinion on it. Instead Sansa’s immediate concern when speaking to Littlefinger is that Harry the Heir called her a bastard in front of everyone. Meanwhile Dany in ADwD:

Skahaz had been named Warden of the River, with charge of all the ferries, dredges, and irrigation ditches along the Skahazadhan for fifty leagues, but the Shavepate had refused that ancient and honorable office, as Hizdahr called it, preferring to retire to the modest pyramid of Kandaq.

Mounted men were of more use in open fields and hills than in the narrow streets and alleys of the city. Beyond Meereen's walls of many-colored brick, Dany's rule was tenuous at best. Thousands of slaves still toiled on vast estates in the hills, growing wheat and olives, herding sheep and goats, and mining salt and copper. Meereen's storehouses held ample supplies of grain, oil, olives, dried fruit, and salted meat, but the stores were dwindling. So Dany had dispatched her tiny khalasar to subdue the hinterlands, under the command of her three bloodriders, whilst Brown Ben Plumm took his Second Sons south to guard against Yunkish incursions.

The most crucial task of all she had entrusted to Daario Naharis, glib-tongued Daario with his gold tooth and trident beard, smiling his wicked smile through purple whiskers. Beyond the eastern hills was a range of rounded sandstone mountains, the Khyzai Pass, and Lhazar. If Daario could convince the Lhazarene to reopen the overland trade routes, grains could be brought down the river or over the hills at need ��

The sea provides all the salt that Qarth requires, but I would gladly take as many olives as you cared to sell me. Olive oil as well."

"I have none to offer. The slavers burned the trees." Olives had been grown along the shores of Slaver's Bay for centuries; but the Meereenese had put their ancient groves to the torch as Dany's host advanced on them, leaving her to cross a blackened wasteland. "We are replanting, but it takes seven years before an olive tree begins to bear, and thirty years before it can truly be called productive. What of copper?"

Sansa does not come anywhere close to Dany and Jon in terms of leadership and that she’s so often pushed as this future queen in fandom, including by bnfs and so called asoiaf experts, is baffling, frustrating and hilarious.

What, if any, attributes does Sansa have to even be a peacetime ruler? After the war means rebuilding from scratch, making deals, hard bargaining, strategizing, using political tools, rebuilding the economy for war torn lands, get in the food, grow the food - precisely the kind of thing Dany is doing in Meereen. Or Jon thinking of building green houses in the Gift to grow food.

But Sansa building a snow model of Winterfell means that she’s the best qualified peace time ruler? Reddit dudebros and so called tumblr feminists united in wanting female characters who wield soft power and uphold the patriarchy as future rulers.

Even when it comes to personal growth, while Sansa has come a long way from her AGoT days, she still has some catching up to do with her peers. After getting hold of LF, Sansa complains that Harry is a horrible person for calling her a bastard.

Come,” Petyr said, “walk with me.” He took her by the arm and led her deeper into the vaults, past an empty dungeon. “And how was your first meeting with Harry the Heir?”

“He’s horrible.”

“The world is full of horrors, sweet. By now you ought to know that. You’ve seen enough of them.”

“Yes,” she said, “but why must he be so cruel? He called me your bastard. Right in the yard, in front of everyone.”

Now, personally, this is the point where I would like some introspection from Sansa. Remember when Sansa called out Jon as a jealous bastard in front of her friends in AGoT and Arya defended him?

Sansa sighed as she stitched. “Poor Jon,” she said. “He gets jealous because he's a bastard.”

“He’s our brother,” Arya said, much too loudly. Her voice cut through the afternoon quiet of the tower room.

“Our half brother,” Sansa corrected, soft and precise. - Arya, AGoT

Considering the way Sansa ignored Joffrey’s attack on Arya, it’s a good bet that if Harry the Heir had called out Jon Snow as a bastard in front of everyone in AGoT, Sansa would not have an issue with it. Now that she is being insulted as one, she gets to experience the hurt that Jon felt everyday growing up in Winterfell as a real bastard.

But even here, she refuses to scrutinize the situation more than simply getting angry at being called a bastard. Sansa is often held up as this compassionate, kindest person, ‘beacon of hope for the future’, a queen who cares for the masses etc. But where is her questioning why the classist prejudice against bastards is in itself wrong?

She is angry that she is being called a bastard, she is not angry that bastards are treated as less than. She doesn’t question the societal prejudice against bastards, only angry that she has to pretend to be one and be insulted as one. She doesn’t spare a second reflecting on her bastard brother Jon Snow or question her low opinion of bastards:

Sansa could never understand how two sisters, born only two years apart, could be so different. It would have been easier if Arya had been a bastard, like their half brother Jon. She even looked like Jon, with the long face and brown hair of the Starks, and nothing of their lady mother in her face or her coloring. And Jon’s mother had been common, or so people whispered. Once, when she was littler, Sansa had even asked Mother if perhaps there hadn’t been some mistake. - Sansa, AGoT

And that’s the difference I see between Sansa and characters like Dany, Arya, Jon, Brienne and even with Tyrion and Penny. While GRRM interrogates Westerosi society prejudices, feudalism, classism, sexism, slavery, ableism, bigotry, the effects of war on the small folk etc with these other characters, Sansa rarely reflects on these issues. That’s why it makes no sense when epithets like ‘embodiment of hope for the future’ is used to describe the character. Hope for whom? The small folk? The patriarchy? The feudal lords?

Sansa being nice to people like the stuttering Ser Wallace is held up as her being the kindest ever. But Jon is nice to Shireen, Arya is kind to Weasel, Jaime is kind to Tyrion. Why is kindness and compassion only highlighted for Sansa, like some unique feature of hers when many characters, even the villains, exhibit kindness?

This is Jon Snow in ADwD

“I see what you are, Snow. Half a wolf and half a wildling, baseborn get of a traitor and a whore. You would deliver a highborn maid to the bed of some stinking savage. Did you sample her yourself first?” He laughed. “If you mean to kill me, do it and be damned for a kinslayer. Stark and Karstark are one blood.”

“My name is Snow.”

“Bastard.”

“Guilty. Of that, at least.” - Jon Snow, ADwD

This is Sansa Stark in TWoW:

Ser Harrold looked down at her coldly. “Why should it please me to be escorted anywhere by Littlefinger’s bastard?”

“Yes,” she said, “but why must he be so cruel? He called me your bastard. Right in the yard, in front of everyone.” - Alayne, TWoW

Sansa in TWoW is as hurt by the bastard moniker as Jon Snow was in AGoT when addressed as such by Tyrion. She’s emotionally where Jon Snow was in AGoT, while Jon has matured enough to not care for such insults anymore. And this is book 6! I guess it makes sense considering Jon is 16 -17 and Sansa would be 13 - 14 years old, making her younger than him in AGoT. But this is why the whole ‘Jon should take Sansa’s advice to rule because she’s the smartest ever!’ trash the show pushed to hype up Sansa is complete nonsense.

I don’t know how many chapters GRRM will be devoting to Sansa in the Vale in TWoW, but there’s still a lot of growth and character development pending for book Sansa. As I have always said, Sansa has a lot of information but she rarely if ever introspects on what she has heard and seen. She knows that LF last had Jeyne Poole but at one point wonders where Jeyne Poole is... Just ask LF dammit! She knows that Lysa had Jon Arryn poisoned on LF’s say so and knows that SweetRobin is being dosed with dangerous levels of Sweetsleep and that LF is banking on his death and yet thinks that SweetRobin will be okay. She needs to start putting two and two together to come up with four and I suspect that in itself will take up the whole of TWoW.

So will Sansa become any kind of queen or ruler? No. If she survives the books, I can see her being Lady of the Vale and be moving the chess pieces around. I can see her gaining agency and maybe even be the real power in the Vale aka Littefinger. Just like Jon, Arya, Bran and Dany I think Sansa will be a darker character in TWoW. The game of thrones cannot be played honorably and she will need to get her hands dirty to outwit LF and take him down at his own game.

The point where Sansa simply stops narrating what she sees and actually starts analyzing what she sees in her POV chapters is when the student will become the master and I am excited to see that happening.

#asks

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astradrifting · 3 years ago

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This is kind of inspired by this recent ask I sent to @esther-dot about Jon’s characterisation and Jonsa shippers’ apparent disregard for it, because it made me think of another part of Jon’s characterisation that is really integral to who he is. Mainly, that Jon really loves his brothers. Especially Robb. His rival and best friend and constant companion. Jon envies him, competes with him, buried a formative traumatic memory where he was deeply hurt by him... but ultimately loves him. Complex relationships with his brothers, both the Starks and his Night’s Watch brothers, are a running theme in Jon’s chapters.

Speaking of Jon’s brothers...

Aegon VI and Robb have a lot of potential parallels, actually. The “Young” moniker, red-haired counselors who are also their parents, trained to be the heir to a great kingdom from a young age, the barely younger half-brother Jon borne of their father’s dishonour of their mother… one that they might both have a good relationship with despite that?

The show tried to play with Jon ‘accepting’ his Targaryen lineage through the jonerice romance, very unconvincingly because it was simultaneously undermining it at every opportunity, in what was maybe a half-assed attempt at Pol!Jon (”They’ll all come to see you for what you are” isn’t anything but a threat in all contexts).

Jon will ultimately choose the Starks over everything else, that’s not really a question. But if Jon were to genuinely connect with another Targaryen, it’d likely be easier for him to find kinship with a half-brother than with an aunt - he has a basis for positive relationships with trueborn half-brothers, while the only aunt figure he’s ever known about is a) long dead and b) actually his mother. I think it’d both make more sense and be more compelling for GRRM to leverage Jon’s existing complex relationships with brotherhood by having him interact with and build a relationship with Aegon, than a rushed and out-of-character romance with Dany.

Jon also is already primed to believe that Aegon is the real deal, that he was saved as a baby, because he’s already done the exact same thing himself - he swapped out a baby of royal blood who was in danger for a common-born boy, and then sent him halfway across the world for safety (side note: if Septa Lemore is Ashara, and if the baby was actually Ashara’s son as theorised here by @agentrouka-blog, that would just strengthen the parallel, because it would be his body double’s mother caring for him, as Gilly has to do for Mance’s son).

They’re definitely going to come into conflict first - politically, Jon will likely be in a position of power in the North by the time they meet, maybe as the KitN through Robb’s will or regent for Rickon, and probably will fight for Northern independence, while Aegon is fighting to be king of the Seven Kingdoms, not 6. Personally, it will be hard to get past the fact that Jon is the direct result of Rhaegar dishonouring Elia, plus that the Kingsguard who should have been protecting her were all stationed in Dorne, guarding Jon’s mother (in whatever capacity). But these interactions, a conflict and eventual friendship/brotherhood between them, would all be a lot more layered than jonerice can really offer. If a relationship between Jon and Dany was truly all that GRRM has been building up to, then there would have been no need for R+L=J - it adds nothing to that storyline, it doesn’t even make it a forbidden romance, because aunt-nephew is hardly the worst incest the Targaryens have engaged in.

It’s almost inevitable that Da*nerys is going to kill Aegon VI/Young Griff in the books, likely by burning him with dragonfire, in the Second Dance of the Dragons. The weird Dragonpit meeting in the show was very contrived, but it does make sense for Dany to meet the ruler on the Iron Throne at least once in a semi-peaceful context. In the show, she used her dragons only to intimidate Cersei, but she didn’t have a personal grievance with her. Aegon is in much more danger during such a meeting. After all she will think he is a pretender, and she doesn’t much care for the rules of safe conduct, as she showed to the envoys from Yunkai.

Dany shrugged, and said, "Dracarys."

The dragons answered. Rhaegal hissed and smoked, Viserion snapped, and Drogon spat swirling red-black flame. It touched the drape of Grazdan's tokar, and the silk caught in half a heartbeat.

[...]

"You swore I should have safe conduct!" the Yunkish envoy wailed.

"Do all the Yunkai'i whine so over a singed tokar? I shall buy you a new one... if you deliver up your slaves within three days. Elsewise, Drogon shall give you a warmer kiss." She wrinkled her nose. "You've soiled yourself. Take your gold and go, and see that the Wise Masters hear my message."

(ASOS, Dany IV)

"Ah, there is the thorn in the bower, my queen," said Hizdahr zo Loraq. "Sad to say, Yunkai has no faith in your promises. They keep plucking the same string on the harp, about some envoy that your dragons set on fire."

"Only his tokar was burned," said Dany scornfully.

(ADWD, Dany VI)

So Dany will burn the Blackfyre pretender, and everyone will be happy and cheer to see the rightful queen, the last Targaryen, Slayer of Lies, Breaker of Chains, Insert-The-Million-Other-Titles-Here. Right?

Except how would she prove that he’s an imposter? She can’t exactly roll up with an Alt Shift X video pointing out that Illyrio has said some weird things about Aegon. Is Varys going to have an attack of remorse and explain his whole plot, complete with Blackfyre family tree? Or maybe she’ll explain that she went on a vision quest in Qarth and Aegon totally matches up with the vague symbolism that a bunch of drugged up warlocks told her before she set them on fire?

I don’t think it’s going to matter if Aegon is fake or not, and we might never find out either way. The mystery of his identity isn’t his main narrative, and all of his significance to the story and to multiple other characters is removed if he’s proved to not be Aegon VI. Him being proved fake would just make this plotline a weird, unnecessary digression on Dany’s journey to being the righteous and true queen, his death just another #girlboss moment for her. That’s definitely going to be her perception of it, but once she reaches Westeros we won’t have to rely on only her POV of her actions. History is written by the winners, and no one’s going to miss that it’s a lot more convenient for Dany if the boy with a stronger claim than her turns out to have been fake all along. Arianne and the Dornish are definitely not going to take it lying down, and neither is Jon. He’s not going to fall in love with the woman who murdered his brother, especially by burning him alive. ADWD has plenty to say about how much he hates death by fire.

“Men say that freezing to death is almost peaceful. Fire, though … do you see the candle, Gilly?”

She looked at the flame. “Yes.”

“Touch it. Put your hand over the flame.”

Her big brown eyes grew bigger still. She did not move.

“Do it.” Kill the boy. “Now.”

Trembling, the girl reached out her hand, held it well above the flickering candle flame.

“Down. Let it kiss you.”

Gilly lowered her hand. An inch. Another. When the flame licked her flesh, she snatched her hand back and began to sob.

“Fire is a cruel way to die. Dalla died to give this child life, but you have nourished him, cherished him. You saved your own boy from the ice. Now save hers from the fire.”

(ADWD, Jon II)

Funnily enough, the same fire as a kiss imagery from Dany burning the envoy’s tokar appeared there too, also used as a threat.

If he is not a kinslayer, he is the next best thing. [...] What sort of man can stand by idly and watch his own brother being burned alive?

(ADWD, Jon IX)

So Aegon’s death is not going to be a triumphant victory for Dany, after which everyone proclaims her the true queen. It’s likely to just solidify opposition to her, from every corner of Westeros. If it happens during a summit or negotiation, it’d be even more of a tragic parallel to Robb and the Red Wedding; the young king murdered off of the battlefield, at an event where he was promised safe conduct. Featuring Dany in the role of Roose Bolton and Tywin Lannister. Tywin’s already died a very undignified death, and Roose Bolton looks to be on his way too.

I think the tragedy of Aegon’s death would also hit harder if we see it through Jon, as a main POV, or at least the aftermath of it. Jon was integral at the Dragonpit meeting after all, and probably would be at a peace summit or negotiation between the leaders of Westeros and the invading force.

In ASOS, there’s a curious lack of Jon’s reaction to Robb’s death. We see his initial reaction to Bran and Rickon’s supposed deaths when he gets back to Castle Black, but he doesn’t even know about Robb’s death until Stannis arrives to defeat the wildlings, and we’re not shown the moment he’s told about it. He barely even thinks about it, not even a mention until he meets with Stannis on top of the Wall:

“Your brother was the rightful Lord of Winterfell. If he had stayed home and done his duty, instead of crowning himself and riding off to conquer the riverlands, he might be alive today. Be that as it may. You are not Robb, no more than I am Robert.”

The harsh words had blown away whatever sympathy Jon might have had for Stannis. “I loved my brother,” he said.

(ASOS, Jon XI)

And that’s literally all we get that is specifically about Robb’s death - the rest of Jon’s chapters, his guilt and grief is about the loss of all his siblings, and the idea of stealing Winterfell from them. It doesn’t really make sense for him to not think about it at all, considering how close they were. This reminds me of how he has a non-reaction to Sansa’s marriage to Tyrion as well, as talked about in this post by @agentrouka-blog. Part of this could be Jon’s tendency towards denial and suppression of all his feelings, but it also points to GRRM explicitly obscuring his reaction - perhaps because he’s going to explore it in the wake of another brother dying a very similar death? One that this time he’ll be there to witness?

#astra rambles #meta #speculation #half speculation half 'my wildest dreams and hopes'#anti daenerys targaryen #anti jonerys #jon snow #aegon vi targaryen #jon and aegon #anti got #because i do dunk on the show a lot in this lmao #i've spent far too long on this and had to delete five tirades against the show already

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kingsansa · 2 years ago

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Season 6 watcher again, on to season 7 (🤢) the way that them sharing the titles of king and queen in the north is the only ending that makes sense... D&D I'll see you in hell, George babes I'm counting on you

I don’t know why you would do this to yourself! But I don’t think that’s the way it’ll happen. While I was writing my book canon au I did find it interesting that he accepted the title of king but gave her lady of Winterfell when those were often connected. But, I realized Robb kind of did the same thing? When he left, Bran became lord of Winterfell, and because he was the heir, he was also referred to as prince. It reminded me of how the targs named their heirs prince of Dragonstone. Off topic but it also reminded me of how Robert gave Stannis Dragonstone and Renly storm’s end. Stannis thought this was an insult, but I feel like Robert saw this as more of an honor than Storm’s End would be. Just random thoughts™️

#brushing up on the series for the book canon au has me doing a lot of thinking in general

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wolfsneedles · 3 years ago

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My Re-read of a storm of swords and i just cant get over how interesting it as book with iconic lines and carefully crafted dialogues and some miserable important deaths of some of my fav characters. Like this book, is really the iphone of asoiaf lol. A fine wine. Arbor gold. It starts from same events left incomplete in clash of kings but only that now every person meets their consequences and disastrous results of wrong moves & mistakes end so perfectly and painfuly in conclusive way. A feast for crows obviously focuses more on king's landing events and some of the riverlands with brienne and jaime. Might say it isn't my fav book yet since im reading it too apart from some breathtaking prophecies and aemon declaring how prince that was promised could be --> dany

However, ASOS is best best book ever. So much mess and bittersweet endings.

You see catelyn, robb and riverlands arc ending in the most tragic way as result of all small excusable mistakes to the reader that piled up and finally execution of red wedding with bangs and drums, not to mention this event was so catatonic and an irreversible tragedy that almost all characters had visions and dreams of it (patchface, Ghost of high heart, theon, daenerys, jon perhaps later) knowing half of these characters never met the victims of the red wedding.

This event also meant - northern power of houses and faith of independence and somewhat retribution they deserved or wish they had is thwarted now and almost all of them die there esp strength of dustin, manderlys along with boltons betraying them and roose coming out as an iconic cold hearted brute and villain somewhat.

This book also shows how stark sisters had their paths turned after the tiring chasing and running away like arya through war torn lands and sansa finally fleeing KL to Vale with littlefinger - in a way a complete revival again of her and arya embarking on to braavos with an entirely different name now and somewhat purpose we dont know yet also ends her arc of sadness and despair she felt when chasing and running towards her lady mother and robb at the twins. kind of tragic tbh more for her how she saw or heard almost every death of a stark. near to her or family, she saw horror unfolding in front of her eyes.

You have lannisters coming off as victorious ( not really then...) since tywin and tyrion's last scene is iconic. Its like how the might of house lannister which in case tywin refers to himself is broken on a freaking privy - somewhat bittersweet ending since we know cersei and jaime are already not so in a good mental state to make up for heir of casterly rock - and then we have tyrion fleeing too again, once more, finally, to essos as we know. This ending of his arc in KL is also imp since he entered this city like tywin as hand of the king and is leaving like a prisoner. Idk seems perfect to me how he runs and tywin who came as hand of king replacing his son, now goes back in ehh coffin...glory indeed.

You have bran and rickon already parting in ACOK, BUT now the most importent part of brans journey also begins somehow. and therefore him abandoning winterfell and that side of north for further journey is too sad for me too in a lot of ways. His connection to his own home as the last stark who was residing there has ended too (prob bloodraven has more action for my boy i hope).

You have Lysa Tully in the Vale before sansa arrived there with baelish, and she also ultimately gets too much of frightening end in same castles and doors she never opened for anyone - even refusing to help her sister during war because now i wonder had the vale signed for stark side, how different circumstances would be but then tywin wanted to play rains of castamere so bad (i hate him sorry)

Jaime and Brienne still were busy in their road ventures and romantic comedy but him arriving as cripple and maimed to KL, is again of uttermost importance since he in his thoughts lose a lot of confidence in himself now not really making him a perfect candidate for so many things,,, again he has to sort out some issues with his big of bully sister and not-so-accommodating power hungry deluded father but he chose to argue and decline offer for heir of rock and also confessed his utter disregard for poor kids he have, joffrey especially. Idk im so confused what this golden lion & a trained chivalrous warrior is onto since jaime's chapter is like a realistic slap on your face & we see his POV in ASOS only and then he just goes thru huuuge turmoil lol. (not good day or year for him tbh)

Lastly we have daenerys who then vows to settle in mereen making it evident in way how she isn't obsessed with utter power and throne of her ancestors as some ppl speculate, ofc she appears in ADWD again but her freeing slaves and singing dracarys is my another fav momet of ASOS, since dany is really not a frightened confused child she was, she is getting hold of things in realistic way too, and meets barristan, gets to know abt their betrayals, basically gets Unsullied, idk a major iconic moment if u see in contrast to how everyone is losing war now in westeros and wo5k is coming to kind of an end, with balon dying, robb and joff dead, and stannis...(well he is another spiritual case) going to the wall, we see how horrifying brutal war did come to an end in ASOS in the end eventually with tywin also dying. So dany getting an army of unsullied opposed to all other armies kind of dissolving in westeros is quite a distinction. ( bonus points she is young and woman and alone and has 3 dragon )

On the Wall - jon plays and practiced swords with emmett and then struck by memory of him and robb playing & above all how he wants to be lord of winterfell. In the end Jon Snow wins the vote in a landslide victory and is named the 998th Lord Commander. His entire journey from start of ASOS was with ygritte and Wildlings and then finally giving up on mance and returning to Wall with no expectations of him being commander after having spent moments alone and with wildlings and others with him just a ranger.

Realising in the end now, how storm of swords puts people in power like jon and dany and others like boltons and freys in north & riverlands, at the same time starks and lannisters are in way battered and struck by at a time tragedies. Half of people who were away from their families unite or return back like jaime while other half return somewhere more far (arya sansa at vale and braavos with bran more far from winterfell, rickon too), most of the 5 kings are dead too. Also aftermath of war at end of ASOS and AFFC also describes perfectly the attitude and responses of smallfolk towards whoever results in being the king of no concern to them. Most of the small roads and inns were damaged and plundered with woman and children killed or raped and men usually dead too. When we see arya or jaime and brienne usually, we read their POVs, we also see the wrenching elements of war too and how main message could also be that lords play their game of thrones but peasants suffer dreadfully more, we also see how smallfolks have no trust or loyalties towards any house or liege lord. They usually refer to starks and lannister conflict as 'wolves came...or lions did this'. Major point i noticed.

not to mention again, in essos and on the wall 2 different realities and places that mid westeros, we see dany and jon and their ingrown different experiences and attitudes towards smallfolks. freeing of slaves and getting some loyalties tied to you, while living with wildlings and seeing how they rule and eat and sleep like a commoner is so important. The Wall also gives meaning to how real breathing humans are segregated from westeros and other houses as result of prejudice and inborn enmities. The slaves in chains indicate how their little lives in Yunkai is not of importance when they are...utterly children. some of them.

ASOS has major shifting thoughts and stories tbh. Its like gospel of asoiaf for me.

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agentrouka-blog · 4 years ago

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How do you think Jon and Sansa's storyline will play out individually in TWOW ? How do you think their dynamic will be in TWOW ? Will there be sprouting of a forbidden romance utilising the incest angst trope or will it be completely platonic ? Will Sansa arrive at the Wall when Jon is dead ? 😅 I know I shouldn't have asked so many questions but I am just curious about what your views might be regarding the above . ❤️ your metas btw.

Hello, and thank you!! :)

I think that - given the idea by the other anon that Shireen’s sacrifice will be the weather-changing event that allows Sansa to travel North - Sansa will begin travelling northwards fairly early in the book, after yet unspecified shennanigans in the Vale. The moutain clans are likely to feature in some way and they have seen her in KL and they had good relations with Tyrion and I kind of want them to help her travel. They are literally the mountain clans, who can traverse the Vale in less than ideal conditions if not they?

Jon... yeah, not certain at all. I imagine a spirit quest involving Ghost warging and possibly contact with Bran, but... who knows? It’s hard to predict. I think he might actually be dismissed from the Watch upon getting better like Selmy, and make his own quasi-political moves in the North with Stannis? I don’ t think they will meet at the Wall, really. I think they will move toward each other and meet on the road. He will be resurrected alone and he will be Very Sad and Grumpy and Sansa will help with that a lot, while he will finally be someone who genuinely cares about her and protects her.

I definitely picture a rescue-in-the-woods situation with Sansa, and Ghost, and I think the way their relationship plays out will be an understated but deeply romantic connection underneath their political cooperation and mutual learning. As in, GRRM will stick to his style and we’ll get maybe a deeply touching line or three, but he won’t suddenly throw around dramatic inner monologues to the tune of Arys Okaheart. But the imagery will be off the charts long before he gets more obvious.

GRRM didn’t give the story of Aemon and Naerys such prominence to have it not affect how Jon and Sansa perceive their feelings for each other. There’s a path through that mess and it’s “chaste and courtly love”. Lady and Knight. I think they would unspokenly gravitate toward that scenario. Angst, yes, some shame, yes, but also a certain “I know this story” kind of resignation. I don’t see them convulsing in self-hatred so much as in a bittersweet melancholy.

Alongside that and gaining in prominence: Florian and Jonquil.

They’ll obviously cooperate to retake Winterfell and there will be succession drama. If GRRM is kind, Rickon will be a part of that. They will obviously clash on some fronts, but I think in general we will see them shine together, combining their strengths. Sansa triumphing in her first chapter when she correctly identifies the three strangers near the queen and impressing everyone present? We’ll see that a lot. Jon getting over his grumpy self and turning a ragtag bunch of misfits into decent fighters for a common cause? We’ll see that a lot.

So, they will both be in Winterfell, in uber-Stark mode, pining, and preparing for how they think they need to face the ice threat. Enter the Dance of Dragons to the South, and the impending arrival of Arya and Bran, and whatever drama the Lannisters might still exact, and whatever happens to Rickon. I think that will be TWOW. Also, the marriage to Tyrion will be a thing. The annullment will, I think, be part of what motivates Jon to seek contact.

Come ADOS, I do NOT think we’ll see Jon running away from Winterfell or sleeping with Dany specifically to escape the danger of incest. That would be irresponsible (running away), and stupid (she’s a foreign invader, a fellow monarch and super dangerous) and it would demand a narrative punishment far beyond “accidental incest” because it would be a betrayal of Jon’s feelings for Sansa and a callous use of another person, which would specifically also hurt Sansa and would preclude a reward at the end. Whatever Jon does, it will be “professional” and in service of House Stark or Westeros. Jon WILL be rewarded at the end. It’s not the romantics punishing hours, it’s a song.

I also think that Aegon will have a significant role in Jon’s ADOS arc, be that potential ally or heartbreakingly resentful enemy. They are half-brothers, and Aegon would follow Aemon as an example of a decent Targ. At whichever point RLJ comes into play, Jon will need that example to counter Dany’s, along with Arya pounding a frying pan over his head, screaming “The woman is important, too!” about Lyanna.

The threat of the Others and its resolution is hard for me to connect to Jon and Sansa since I see it as so deeply connected to Bran, and mostly in the mirror of Lady Stoneheart. I have far too little Norse mythology background to begin parsing that. But I see the ending of Disney’s “Moana” as a good example of what it will be, rather than anything the show did. The contrast to that harmonious ending will be the political fire chaos in the South.

Or, you know, I may change my opinion again in a week. But this is the general scenario I am working with now. In my head.

#asoiaf #asoiaf speculation #jonsa #twow #jon snow #sansa stark #aemon and naerys #florian and jonquil #RLJ

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a-libra-writes · 4 years ago

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How the GoT Characters Propose To You

We’re BACK AT IT AGAIN FOLKS

In this imagine, you’ll be proposed to by: Ned Stark, Robb Stark, Sansa Stark, Jon Snow, Benjen Stark, Jory Cassel, Dolorous Edd, Yara Greyjoy, Daenerys Targaryen, Jorah Mormont, Missandei, Grey Worm, Tywin Lannister, Tyrion Lannister, Jaime Lannister, Sandor Clegane, Bronn, Petyr Baelish, Stannis Baratheon, Davos Seaworth, Margaery Tyrell, Brynden Tully, Edmure Tully, Brienne of Tarth, Ramsay Bolton, Roose Bolton, Oberyn Martell, Beric Dondarrion

NED STARK

In spite of the fact your families arranged this marriage years ago, Ned has to be his usual honorable, traditional self and go along with the expected courting process. That includes a formal proposal, but… that’s not for the purpose of tradition. The way he beams and looks at you with such adoration, you can tell he just really wants to hear you say “yes” to the proposal he shyly talks through. The ring is on the more modest side, combining the direwolf and your house’s sigil. There’s a personal touch on the inside; either an inscription or an engraving that has a special meaning to the two of you. He likely has a matching ring, very unassuming, that he wears whenever possible.

ROBB STARK

He didn’t expect to fall so completely for you during this stuffy courting process. Robb can’t believe how lucky he is, and it’s obvious to everyone how enamored he is with you. He’s ready to jump straight to the wedding, tradition be damned, but oh well. What he does do is give you the ring quite early, and his own proposal, even if your marriage has been long decided. His proposal is straightforward, but there’s love and earnestness in his eyes as he takes your hands and presents the ring he secretly acquired. It’s beautifully crafted, with silver direwolves and gemstones that match your house’s sigil for their eyes.

SANSA STARK

Sansa had thought about this for a long time. Letting that romantic spirit come back, even after you’d been together for a while, was difficult. The whole concept of marriage had become repulsive to her, but together the two of you could make it something different. She gave you an unassuming ring you could always wear, with gemstones that reminded her of your eyes. She tried not to cry with happiness as she gave her heartfelt proposal. You’d say your vows in the weirwoods, where she always wanted to be married. The whole day would seem like a dream to her, like the innocent daydreams she had as a girl, before the world took everything.

JON SNOW

He had it planned out: What he would say, where he would say it, but his nerves and doubts bite at him again and again. You can tell he’s been thinking about something for months, it’s been weighing on him, but you hadn’t expected this. It all makes sense when you both are alone in a godswood and Jon takes your hand … and finally blurts it all out. He had a silver ring made; you don’t know how he managed it, but it’s pretty in its simplicity. There’s a direwolf running across the ring, its teeth bared, and another one running beside it. A pack of two.

BENJEN STARK

The asking and ceremony would be more of a ‘symbolic’ thing - being you both were in the Night’s Watch, and you were in disguise. It’s why when he first asked you, you thought it was some silly jap. “Of course, Ben,” You rolled your eyes. “I would love to be your wife.” Then he took your hand, removed the old woolen glove covering it and put on a small, unassuming iron ring that fit you perfectly. Benjen couldn’t stop grinning as he asked you again. It’s a sweet moment you share high up on the wall, in the middle of the darkness, where it seems like you both are totally alone in the world. Days afterward, you notice the engravings of the direwolf inside the ring.

JORY CASSEL

No matter how long you both were together at this point, Jory gets tongue-tied and stumbles over what he carefully rehearsed. He’s still so sure you’ll refuse him, given the small land and influence his family has. He thought for a long time about what sort of ring to get you, and admittedly, he was thinking about it early on in the relationship. It’s something quite pretty and elegant, and it references your house and personal taste. Honorable and traditional as he was, it didn’t feel right going to your family for “formal” permission. He wanted to know your feelings first, and that you truly wanted the arrangement.

EDDISON TOLLETT

You being his “old lady” was a dumb in-joke you and Edd had for some time. You were disguised in the Night’s Watch, of course, but the way you two (playfully) bickered made everyone call you an exhausting old couple. Even when you both were alone, Edd would use “wife”, though you were increasingly aware it wasn’t a joke anymore. Finally he really asks you, even if it’s pointless, even if it’s while you both are freezing in the middle of a frozen wasteland. And even then, he’s still surprised you say yes. One day he ties a piece of old twine around your finger, blushing the whole time, insisting you don’t have to keep it on if you don’t want to.

YARA GREYJOY

If you were from the greenlands, from the get-go, Yara liked to refer to you as her salt wife. It was half teasing, half telling the other Ironborn to stay away. Whenever she’d say it, she’d keep such a protective hold on your waist, you were half-convinced she was going to carry you off to her ship. Eventually she made good on that promise. If you were Ironborn, Yara would be more willing to be forward. She’d tell you about some story she heard from her uncle about brides of the sea, women who stayed together and never married, though you knew she wasn’t one for fancies. Regardless, she’d have matching necklaces made for the both of you, leather and iron, like most of what she owns. She keeps it protected under her clothes.

DAENERYS TARGARYEN

Oh, she’s brought it up with you plenty of times - how you’ll be her Queen before gods and men, no matter what anyone thinks. The thing is, you both never did a grand ceremony. There were other matters to attend to, but Daenerys always made it clear to visitors who you were to her. She has plans for a wonderful ceremony once she takes her throne back, a celebration of your unbreakable union… Well, until then, you both can have your private vows. There’s dozens of beautiful things she’s given you (mostly from suitors who won’t bugger off), but your favorite is a necklace she had specially made. It’s a necklace of obsidian with dragons in flight, all connected together. The three largest dragons have a ruby, a diamond and an emerald for their eyes - a reference to her children, who are also fond of you. You two also wear matching obsidian bands with small rubies, made from the same stone as the necklace.

JORAH MORMONT

First, you knew this was happening. Jorah wears his heart on his sleeve and that’s even more evident when he’s worried about something. You noticed he was being both especially loving and anxious. You considered saying something, but he was clearly waiting for a perfect moment. Seriously, he’d look ready to say something, then back off at the last second at least a dozen times. Finally Jorah asked you, with the most loving smile on his face, and he was so choked up when you accepted - as if he really thought you’d refuse. You’ve told him before that you don’t need anything fancy, but he still gets you a lovely and elegant ring with silver-black engravings of small bears and another animal you’re fond of. He’s thrilled if you got him a matching ring or necklace; again, Jorah didn’t imagine you’d want such a thing. He’d wear it constantly and it’d become something he’d fiddle with when he was nervous.

MISSANDEI

Missandei would wait for you to pop the question because, in truth, she never imagined you’d want to. She understood that was a tradition in your home country, but you were both women, and she was… well, she just didn’t expect it. But Missandei’s eyes light up with surprise and adoration at your earnest question, and she says yes without even thinking. She isn’t one for anything fancy, but she’d love you both to have a matching set of bracelets, necklaces or rings - something elegant but not flashy, perhaps with stones or engravings that mean something personal to the both of you. She’d always wear it, even if she had to hide it under her clothes for some reason or another. She’s terribly flustered when someone asks her who it’s from and what it means.

GREY WORM

Oh, no no no. He’d grown a lot beside you, and as Daenerys’ commander, but there were still areas where Grey Worm felt like he wasn’t enough. It would take a lot of prodding and reassurance from Missandei before he’d finally start planning. You’d wonder what he was up to, and he’d just shyly say it was a surprise and you’d learn eventually. His proposal is sweet and faltering; he tried to stay serious, but he just couldn’t when you looked at him with those kind eyes. Grey Worm decided to make the jewelry himself - it would be an intricate leather bracelet with gemstones inlaid. He hunted the animal and tanned the leather himself, and spent many evenings hurting his fingers to put it together. He has a matching one, though it’s far simpler.

TYWIN LANNISTER

First off, this was a marriage arranged well in advance, so you didn’t expect any extended courting or proposals. This was Tywin, after all. Still he managed to surprise you a fortnight before the wedding with an absurdly jeweled ringbox. The ring itself was Lannister gold, and you anticipated lions and rubies… but it was your house’s sigil, with your birthstone inlaid, and small lions along the band. It’s far more than you anticipated from such a man. And when Tywin presented it to you, you sensed his expectation, and the heat in his eyes... He would never admit to wanting your approval, but that look was saying otherwise. Some years later, you have more jewelry than you could dream of, but you still wear that original ring most often. You’ll catch him glancing at it when you put it on, or twist it around your finger, then he’ll glance aside like he wasn’t watching.

TYRION LANNISTER

Naturally, he’s been thinking of this and planning it for weeks, maybe months, depending on how in love he is. Even if it’s a marriage of love, Tyrion will still have late-night nagging thoughts that you’ll back out, or you’re doing it out of duty. When he takes your hand and gives you the sweetest proposal you’ve ever heard, he still isn’t sure… until you kiss him and tell him what a silly man he’s being. Of course you’d accept. The ring has beautiful craftsmanship, with delicate flowers, lions and gemstones matching your house. It’s rosegold and silver rather than Lannister gold, and the inscription inside is something of an in-joke between you two, likely a quote from a book.

JAIME LANNISTER

You were concerned when he first approached you. It’s rare Jaime is this solemn with you, and he’d been acting strange the past week. Then he started to speak, and you realized he was nervous. His cheeks were starting to get red, and he was having trouble looking right at you. His nervousness came from the fact that Jaime wasn’t entirely sure you’d say yes, no matter how long you’d been together, no matter how confident he was that whole time. All the doubts would begin to creep, and before you could even answer, he considered backing out. But you said yes, and the smile that grew on his face was so wonderful to see. Jaime doesn’t want anything fancy or ceremonial, tradition and his family name be damned. The ring is gold, naturally, but it’s simple and charming. There’s small, pretty gemstones inlaid beside lion engravings.

SANDOR CLEGANE

At this point, you two have been married in all but name for years. He has his own thoughts on marriage, and you have your’s, and there was never a rush. People in the village already thought you already took vows, so honestly, you might have kids before Sandor starts considering something a little official. It would be something simple, but heartfelt. He’d have a fancy leather bracelet woven for you, or a simple silver ring, if you’d prefer that. He wouldn’t want much for himself, and would be flustered if you made something - but he’d absolutely wear it. Instead of taking the three black dogs from the Clegane sigil, you both would think of something new.

BRONN

He’s made all sorts of stupid jokes about marriage, especially now that he’s a proper lord. You’ve never taken any of it seriously, especially when these sentimental rambles come from when he’s drunk and wanting under your dress. Other times are when you’re out and about and pass a sept - “We oughta made it official, then go straight to the wedding night” - really, you never expected him to be serious about it. One evening he tossed something shiny at you, and you caught it. It was a beautiful ring with a huge diamond … and your first thought is if he stole it. He didn’t look at you, only mumbled something about maybe talking to your family. Maybe considering it for real. Bronn’s terrible with emotions, especially speaking them out loud. His gestures speak louder, and the whole time he’s talking he’s trying not to look at you.

PETYR BAELISH

Naturally he planned out the whole proposal - the right location, what he would say, and a beautiful ring that meant something important to you. It wasn’t big and conspicuous, rather it was something absolutely tailored for you, with a mockingbird etched inside. Petyr starts strong as he takes your hand, but begins to falter in his words when you look at him with such adoration. That undivided attention and love just gets him flustered, though he knew you’d accept. This was all part of his plan, but even knowing it would happen didn’t make him any less pleased.

STANNIS BARATHEON

Your houses had been in discussion about the betrothal for a while, but being the man he was, Stannis still wanted to do the usual courting and formal proposal. His words were blunt, the tips of his ears were turning red and he kept darting his eyes away, but he said it. He remembers the ring when you accept, and you assumed he had it ordered without much thought… Though when you look at it, you notice it’s not just pretty woven gold and black diamonds. In the center of the diamonds is your birthstone, and you wonder if he added that touch - your parents certainly wouldn’t have. Even after you’ve been married for years and have plenty of jewelry to pick from, Stannis gets a little flushed that you wear the first ring he gave you so often.

DAVOS SEAWORTH

Your dear Davos made your ring, a pretty and modest thing he created with the help of a blacksmith friend (you were wondering where those little burns on his fingers came from). You both had been together for a while now, talking about marriage here and there but never actually doing it. When he takes your hand, he’s bashful, though he gets through his words. They’re sweet and honest, like you expected. He knew you’d say yes, but he wanted to say it, and to give you the ring. Even if you don’t want a ceremony, he wanted to give you this. It’s a pretty silver and iron ring with pretty engraved flowers, your favorite, and a loving inscription on the inside.

MARGAERY TYRELL

First off, she’d been asking you strange questions for weeks. You could tell she wanted to get you a gift, and she wanted it to be just right. Then you realized she must have some sort of elaborate date planned… Well, you didn’t expect the wonderful evening to end in a proposal. Even if it wasn’t possible for you by the laws of Westeros, Margaery didn’t care. She had a beautiful ring made for you, and she had her “vows” ready. As far as she’s concerned, your hearts belong together, and the gods will understand. She only cries a little, but she’s mostly beaming as you say yes and allow her to put it on your finger.

The gold ring is made wonderfully, with sculpted roses and a large emerald in the center, with her birthstone around it. Margaery wanted a matching one, but that might be suspicious. So, her ring is your favorite flower sculpted with your birthstone in the center.

BRYNDEN TULLY

All his life Brynden resisted the brides his brother threw at him, absolutely sure he was going to die a warrior and not some lazy lord… Well, you certainly changed that perspective, though he likes to say he’s still too old and you ought to spend your life with someone else. Because he thinks it’s the right thing to do, and you deserve it - and with the upcoming war - he gets the ring. Brynden is actually flustered the whole time, giving you a curt and honest proposal. He wants to be with you until the rest of his days - even if they’re numbered - if you’ll have him. No fancy ceremony, ideally, it’s just the two of you. The ring itself is unusual and also not traditional. It’s cool silver with black etchings, and the sigils are your house’s sigil or a favorite flower. It’s not very Tully, except for a small chain of trout engraved on the inside.

EDMURE TULLY

He’s completely confident in this proposal. And why not? You both adore each other, the marriage has been planned for well over a year now, he has just the right place to ask you… Though he’s so excited, he ends up stumbling over some words while he asks you. The official arrangement had already been announced, but he still wanted to do something private and romantic. It was difficult for Edmure to keep the ring a secret. He oversaw every step of it being made, and when he notices you looking at it, it makes him very happy. It’s an elegant silver ring inlaid with diamonds, rubies and sapphires; the latter being in a wavy formation like the Tully banner. You think it’s a bit extravagant, but he says otherwise.

BRIENNE OF TARTH

She’s been thinking about it over and over… you can tell she’s been agonizing about something for months. Finally she shyly presents you with a pretty and simple gold bracelet she figured you could always wear; stumbles over her words to explain it, then you understand her meaning. Yall find an abandoned sept and do cute lil vows and shes crying lol. You rlly want her to wear something similar and she’s just blushing the whole time but she agrees; she takes extremely good care of the necklace/bracelet and wears it under her armor.

RAMSAY BOLTON

Your parents and Roose made the arrangement, so you and Ramsay had little say in the matter. Still, he loves to play his roles, so he wanted to play the part of the attentive, doting lord, especially in front of your family. Though you’re surprised by the unusual ring he gives you; it’s two smooth rings interlocking with each other. The proposal is a little intense and unsettling, but you notice something when he puts it on your finger. He has small burns on his fingers, like had smithed it himself… And you wonder how he knew your ring size… Later on, when you both are married and living in the Dreadfort, sometimes he’ll take your hand and run his thumb over the cold ring.

ROOSE BOLTON

You both were officially engaged for some time, so he didn’t have to do any sort of proposal. When you both were at a private, quiet place in the gardens, and he took your hand. You weren’t expecting it at all. It was simple enough. He promised to look after you, to ensure your protection and health. It almost seemed… genuine, though those eyes were cold as ever. The ring was another surprise. You realized it was an heirloom, but it still looked impeccable. It was iron that was twisted into an elegant shape, with rubies and morganite. The largest ruby was in the center, shaped like a tear-drop… or maybe that was a blood-drop? You notice afterward he’ll glance at your hand each time you meet, as if concerned you wouldn’t wear it.

OBERYN MARTELL

You both had been paramours for years now, and you didn’t need the ring to be happy or official… So it surprised you when after a wonderful evening of dancing and drinking, and pressing against each other in the gardens, he asked you the question. It was romantic, like you’d expect, but also so earnest. Oberyn always wears his feelings on his sleeves, but this didn’t seem like a spur-of-the-moment passionate proposal. His words seemed like he’d worked on them for a long time. Oberyn is understanding if you want to stay paramours and not an official Lady Martell, as that title comes with trappings and expectations. He just had to ask you and hear your acceptance. The ring he gives you is gold, with vibrant topaz and rubies. The inside is engraved with the spear of Martell. You later learn from his brother that it’s a beloved family heirloom.

BERIC DONDARRION

The two of you don’t have much, but you’ve been in love for a long time and he very much wants a “proper” ceremony to express that. He shyly proposed to you in the moonlight after you both made love, and the almost desperation in his voice surprised you. He gave you a smooth, iron ring with a faint design of interwoven flames. The “ceremony” is a drunk Thoros and equally drunk septon his men found, for a double ceremony! It’s extra luck! Or something like that. Beric insists that makes it even more official, and he’ll marry you under a Godswood too, if you come across one. He’s full of smiles and wants to bridal carry you every chance he gets.

#got imagine #got x reader #game of thrones imagine #game of thrones x reader

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gondorosi · 5 years ago

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The gradual separation of show!Jon from book!Jon - Part II

Magic

The showrunners deciding that magic is an unimportant part of the saga and to be relegated to the background is utter horseshit. There’s a bloody REASON direwolves and dragons reappeared in the world when they did, more or less at the same time. There’s a fucking reason why in Martin’s version Dany’s fireproof nature was a one-time thing, the dormant magic in her reawakening as needed BECAUSE dragons needed to be brought back into the world. Dany, Jon and Bran are the three most magic-sensitive characters in the whole story - and only one of them have anything to do with it in a significant manner (though significant might be stretching it). With Dany, her magical nature is only sporadically referred to (the dragons are the be all and end all) and Jon has nothing.

Show!Jon is a mortal man on every level, without a drop of magic in him. Book!Jon is no Bran, but there are three fundamental factors which show how deeply he is connected to the land.

Ghost: Removing Ghost's importance to Jon is akin to removing part of his soul. He isn't just 'big, white fluffy doggo'. Ghost is part of him, his familiar. Ghost is the physical personification of the magic running in Jon's blood, the proof of the Old Gods awareness running through Stark children's veins. Direwolves have a deeper, subtler and less apparent magic than dragons, but no less potent, and no less essential to Jon than her dragons are to Dany. Out of all the Stark siblings, Jon’s connection with Ghost and Bran’s connection with Summer seem to be the most symbiotic. All the siblings have strong bonds with their direwolves, molded to their own personality - Arya’s connection with Nymeria persists even across the sea in Essos, all legends of Robb in battle are accompanied by legends of Grey Wind and poor Rickon becomes so enmeshed in Shaggydog’s mind that there’s little to distinguish between boy and beast. However, perhaps due to the nature of their POVs and story arcs, none of the Starks save Bran and Jon have their journeys so closely aligned to their wolves. Which is why it’s nigh impossible to even consider Jon’s story moving forward without Ghost, especially post resurrection. The show omitted the obvious implication that Jon warged into Ghost before he died, had no role for him in the BoB, completely erased him in S7 and relegated him to a damn stray in S8. On the other hand, the show AMPED up the Dragon Queen part of Dany to the detriment of all other aspects of her character.

Warging: In a universe where Martin has tried his best to weave in strong magic with actual medieval politics, concentrating all Northern magic into one single character (whose surface they barely scratched) is utterly lazy storytelling. Jon's warging abilities are mighty and second perhaps only to Bran, though I hold the belief Arya is as powerful a warg. But unlike both of them, Jon seems to actively resist exploring his warging possibilities. Some of the resistance may be explained by his environment - with both the NW and the Freefolk considering warging to be something of a ‘black’ art or dark magic. Sure, the Free Folk are more open about it, with Varamyr envying Jon’s gift with Ghost in his thoughts:

“He had known what Snow was the moment he saw that great white direwolf stalking silent at his side. One skinchanger can always sense another. Mance should have let me take the direwolf. There would be a second life worthy of a king. He could have done it, he did not doubt. The gift was strong in Snow, but the youth was untaught, still fighting his nature when he should have gloried in it.”

The show makes NO mention of it. Jon being considered a warg is a major reason behind half the NW hating and fearing him. I don’t remember the show ever bringing up the fact that Jon was feared - they seemed to make Thorne and Slynt’s animosity out of sheer spite and disgust at his bastardy.

The Lord Commander's Raven: This is a favourite obsession of mine. Old Mormont’s raven pops out at Jon at seemingly random moments, but for the reader bursting with conspiracy theories, the raven is just another nod to the fact that Jon has a far greater role to play in the story than is visible to the eye. There's a popular theory that Bloodraven wargs him from time to time, since Jon is the secondary piece on his chessboard. The raven has come to Jon’s aid atleast twice that I can remember:

When Mormont is attacked by the wight:

Jon tried to shout, but his voice was gone. Staggering to his feet, he kicked the arm away and snatched the lamp from the Old Bear's fingers. The flame flickered and almost died. "Burn!" the raven cawed. "Burn, burn, burn!"

Spinning, Jon saw the drapes he'd ripped from the window. He flung the lamp into the puddled cloth with both hands.

During the election for Lord Commander when Mormont’s raven flying to his shoulder is used as a sign by Sam to argue for Mormont’s approval of Jon as the choice.

Bastardy

Jon's entire sense of self is centered around two things:

Ned Stark is his father

He's a bastard

His entire character arc is trying live up to one of those and distance himself from the connotations of the other. His bastardy is the formative lodestone of his character and moral compass but in the EXACT opposite of how Catelyn and Westerosi society as a whole expect it to be.

However, there's a twist to that. Jon's inner desire is EXACTLY what Catelyn feared. He DOES want to be Lord of Winterfell. He DOES harbour resentment that Robb (seemingly) has everything handed to him while the best Jon can hope for is to die at his post, unknown and unsung. He DOES want glory and power and to exact some kind of revenge on a society which deemed him vile and detestable for no fault of his. All the elements for him to become the Starks' own Daemon Blackfyre is already present.

But there's one difference - Ned Stark is no Aegon the Unworthy. Even more than all of the above heart's desires, Jon wants to be like his father. He wants to do what is right. He wants his father to be proud of him. He wants to be nothing like the greedy, vengeful and lusty creature he's always been told he is. He wants to help people and stand up for the weak because that's who he is. At the very heart of it, he just wants to be loved by Ned as much as his trueborn sons. And thus he takes Tyrion's words to heart and wears his bastardy like impenetrable armour.

In show!Jon, ALL of this inner struggle is lost. Jon's bastardy is rarely affixed other than as a side. Show!Jon is a 'good' man. Yes, undoubtedly. But what makes book!Jon a great man is that he masters his baser desires to focus on what's more important. THAT'S what Jeor, Mance and Stannis all saw in him. That's why the Free Folk follow him. That's why half the NW will die for him (yes I know the other half will kill him).

When you have spent most of the show without anywhere referencing how vital the armour of bastardy, and being Ned Stark’s son is to Jon's psyche and sense of self, even the best directors will not be able to depict WHY the news of his parentage will have ripped out the ground from under him. Dany's quest for the throne is out there glaring at us thus atleast on paper making sense that having her undeniable right threatened will rattle her (I personally hate hate HATE the creative decision that Dany's immediate reaction to find out Jon's a Targaryen will be paranoia and concern for HER throne but I digress).

Intelligence, ability and cunning

Up until S4 and most of S5, show!Jon and book!Jon exhibited similar levels of intelligence and cunning. One of my favourite scenes is Sam trying to stop Jon from marching into Mance's camp to try and assassinate him. Jon gets in his face with his frustration and despair boiling and asks if he has any better ideas. At this point he's done a superb job commanding the defence of Castle Black but has also just lost Ygritte, Pyp and Grenn all in one night, a significant portion of the meagre Castle Black forces and is fully aware that they cannot survive another charge. He's beyond desperate and aware that his efforts are likely suicidal but he can't just retreat, lick his wounds and do nothing.

The show labours under the popular delusion that truly good guys can't be really smart, as being smart means preserving yourself and truly good guys will always jump into danger first to protect other people. Politics is bad so if you're a good strategist then you can't be a good person.

Both book and show characterizations of Jon have been criticized for being examples of the ‘Chosen One’ the ‘reluctant hero’ who turns out to be the right man for the job, and for painting ambition and the quest for power as negative pursuits. In the book however, Jon’s ambitions never really had a chance to form. He’s prideful enough in his abilities to believe he would be an immediate select into the elite Ranger ranks and is devastated when that doesn’t work out. By the time he’s come to terms with the fact that being Mormont’s steward means being groomed for command, the truth of the White Walkers is in front of him and that becomes his sole consideration.

To many readers, Jon’s election to Lord Commander was ‘contrived’ though I do believe Sam played the long political game as he believed his friend being in a position of power would lead to an easier path for him. However, Jon doesn’t crumple under the weight of the responsibility - his actions as Lord Commander are revolutionary enough to completely destabilize his support. The show entirely omits all the strategic parts of his negotiations with both Stannis and the Freefolk. Unlike show!Jon, book!Jon does not allow the Freefolk through the Wall only on the account of goodwill and the fear of a common enemy. He takes their children hostage to ensure compliance. He negotiates with the Iron Bank for a loan to stave off starvation come winter. He repopulates the Gift with Free Folk. He shelters, counsels and aids Stannis. He addresses almost every logistical and material issue he can think except for the most fundamental - his people.

On the other hand, there’s no strategic and political angle to Show!Jon in S6 and S7, instead being posited only as warrior extraordinaire.

'The greatest swordsman in the North' - but too naive to not keep the sister who tricked him almost to his death at arm's length. Brave, loyal and courageous beyond belief - but completely befuddled by politicking. Immediately trusting a sister he’s never been close to and who has been Littlefinger’s pupil for a considerable time.

Book!Jon's abilities as a leader are sorely underappreciated, especially considering that his tenure as Lord Commander saw the status quo of almost every aspect of NW life upended. The previous LC is killed in a mutiny. The Wildling army launch an attack. The Others finally rise. A King/King Claimant FINALLY takes the NW's warnings seriously. The Wildlings are brought south of the Wall.

Despite being a new beginning for all recruits, the Night's Watch is the one order in Westeros whose traditions and rules have not changed in millennia. Understaffed, under-resourced and facing a threat the likes of which people would struggle to comprehend, Jon does the best he can. His major mistake is one most young leaders make, and that is assume all of those under automatically understand his reasons for doing what he does.

Relationships

Brother:

If there's one role Jon takes more seriously than 'Ned Stark's son, it's that of brother. Book!Jon is pretty much the pinnacle of brotherly love - Robb's right hand, Arya's champion and dutiful protector to both Bran and Rickon. There's a subtle tragedy in this too - despite how much his siblings love him, all of them, including Arya, have othered him. He's brother, but only half. Snow, not a Stark. The last in the list. 'The last brother left to me' - as felt by both Robb and Sansa.

Book!Jon and Show!Jon are both shown to be loving, dutiful brothers but once again the show is incapable of portraying more than one character at a time in a certain way. Thus all of Jon's brotherly love is concentrated on Sansa, the sibling he was least close to. Show!Jon never mentions Robb after his death mentions Arya not at all when book!Jon never stops thinking about the two of them.

Maybe, maybe if the show had bothered to flesh out Jon Snow's emotional attachment to his home and siblings, his dilemma between his family and Dany wouldn't have been so shoddy.

Friend:

Book!Jon, despite his aloof demeanour attracts fast friends. His staunchest supporters in the NW are those who he befriended when he first stepped within the gates. He's the only one to ever have stood up for many of them. And it's his NW friends who do become truly brothers, as they see and stand beside him during his rise to leadership.

Show!Jon is no different - he's got his loyal friends but there was no apparent discord after him being elected LC. Which is surprising considering that this is the moment that Jon effectively decides to ‘Kill the boy.’ The Gilly baby switch storyline is completely done away with, probably because it is the one decision that very clearly paints Jon as grey. The book Sam struggles to understand this decision - in his mind his best friend would never have done that. Maester Aemon is the one who sets him straight - Jon is no longer just a brother of the Watch, he’s the Lord Commander now. He can no longer be taking decisions just as Sam’s friend.

The show never really dwelt on the chasm Jon’s position as a leader would have created with his brothers who till them were his equals. Book!Jon knowingly starts distancing himself and this is a flaw that comes back to stab him in the chest - again a misstep in one raised to leadership at a young age.

Lover:

This part will be a bit of a cop-out since at this point the only common love interest between the books and the show is Ygritte. The show axed Val, who’s one of my favourite secondary characters and my main preference for a Jon pairing pre-Dany. And of course, there’s far too much plot to cover before Jon and Dany even meet in the book (if they’re ever finished).

There are factions of the fandom who don’t think the Jon and Dany romance in S7 was set up convincingly. Admittedly that’s going to be hard for me to judge fairly as I’ve been in the Jonerys camp ever since ADWD made it clear how Jon was growing as a leader and as a magical touchstone in direct parallels to Dany. It definitely helped that Kit’s portrayal of Jon had FINALLY started to appeal to me once The Watchers of the Wall aired. I’d been one of the many fans who had been waiting for these two to meet on the show - and though I personally found the Jon-Dany relationship progression to be one of the few good things about S7, I can perhaps get why many neutral fans (i.e not commited to any rival ships for either Jon or Dany) think its out of character for them to be so involved so soon.

There are plenty of popular assumptions perpetuated by the show which have no backup in the original material - one of them is ‘dumb, lovable idiot’ Jon paired with the ‘awkward and oblivious as fuck with women’ Jon. Now, I’ll not deny that the latter portrayal works QUITE well with show!Jon (Kit’s face is the perfect cast for this characterization) but I just don’t see it working with book!Jon. The boy isn’t seeking out women but its not like he’s not around them. Alys Karstark was quite obviously taken with him, and I doubt Jon missed it, but there were far greater things of import to consider for both of them - I saw no awkwardness in the text. Jon dislikes Selyse and manages to be both cordial and deferential as required. Melisandre makes no secret of her fascination with him - there’s no bumbling awkwardness there either. And Val - he’s quite smitten and there’s some awkwardness there, sure but its hardly the bumbling variety.

As for Dany - considering that at this point the 7 seasons of the show is all we will ever have, I somehow think the softer show!Jon makes a much better pairing with the more hardened show!Dany. Its as if certain aspects of their personalities were flipped in the show - book!Dany is definitely much softer and gentle without her power and strength being diminished, whereas book!Jon is far more calculated and ruthless without compromising on his honour and integrity.

#jon snow #book!jon #show!jon #ASoIaF #game of thrones #nights watch #asoiaf val #jonerys

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swordmaid · 5 years ago

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what’s ur show brienne essay 👀

a.) they never understood her character and it shows b.) they got her wrong from the START— but I’m talking about season 3 brienne bc I don’t remember much of the show now (thank GOD) —especially with that line post jaime maiming when they made her say ‘you sound like a bloody woman’ when brienne was NOT like that at all in the books. they’ve erased the fundemental thing about brienne which is despite all that shitty stuff she went through, she’s still NICE. she’s a good person with a kind heart and yeah you can argue that show brienne is older and more hardened than book brienne, but wouldn’t she still be kind hearted? a fundemental thing about brienne is that she has that duality. she IS BOTH the lady and the knight like oh my god her fucking sigil is pink and blue, sun and moon. her island has two castle: morne and evenfall which is day and night, she’s literally about duality and they erased that aspect of her and LITRALLY shove her in the tough female character box just to show that look omg a woman that CAN fight hand she’s ALSO one of the boys!! she’s not like other women!! and of course adaptation doesn’t always mean it’s going to stay true to it’s origins I can accept if there’s like, slight changes but it’s the fact that she kind of feels like a whole new character imo. not to mention her treatment of pod for the majority of their time was like, shit, and she didn’t even need to treat him like shit but she DID (the only time I’m pretty sure was she started treating him less like this was in s7/more in s8) while book brienne was nothing but kind to podrick.

and besides all THAT, her story is gone lol. they’ve erased LSH arc from the show which is supposed to be—and going to be (I’m pretty damn sure it WILL be lol) about brienne’s honor and it was gonna be her big jaime moment, instead, they had her wait for a candle for an entire season which was like, super fucking dumb. they’ve also erased her significance in the road trip by taking out the weirwood dream or the I dreamed of you. like she STILL has a role there and I’m not denying that they didn’t form that relationship or whatever, but that scene was hella important to Jaime’s character especially bc it lays the fucking ground work to his narrative arc but considering that he didn’t even HAVE one in the show (when they sacrificed LSH they sacrificed HIS character as well + the many more changes they did but I won’t talk about that here) I guess it wasn’t that important? LOL. ALSO, the stannis execution and rescuing sansa was so dumb I’m sorry it really was how did she have time to behead stannis then go for sansa as well IN MY OPINION the scene should’ve gone that she decides to go for stannis, but she sees pod in danger so she has to choose between killing this guy who she has like, 3 seasons worth of grudge that you kinda forgot about OR go save this innocent man and uphold the knightly vows that she’s been following. That would give more depth to her character and ALSO strengthen her dynamic with pod. stannis can maybe die somewhere if they stopped needing him idk he’s not important here but WHAT IS IMPORTANT is that show brienne ACTUALLY has a plot line going on and making choices that can lead to consequences instead of that thing they did where they kinda made her go through that checklist that was like: 1.) kill stannis ✔️ 2.) rescue sansa ✔️ 3.) take sansa back to winterfell ✔️ 4.) become sansa’s bodyguard ✔️ like what about arya tho the vow she made to catelyn is BOTH to her daughters and not just sansa why did she stop looking for her when she personally knows that she’s still alive. and like after that kerfuffle what is her story??

at that point in the game I’m not expecting her to follow book brienne’s story anymore because she’s such a different character but I’m ALSO expecting her to have her own story of some sorts but she literally,,,, she literally does not. she doesn’t have one. she becomes sansa’s errand runner, she –once again– has to remind jaime about honor and doing the right thing because he’s somehow incapable of doing that when she’s not around (book jaime CANT RELATE), look at her roll her eyes and be visibly uncomfortable about tormund’s leering that is peak comedy guise, here let’s put her in the kingsguard where you throw away all your life to become YET another bodyguard for this person you’ve literally NOT shared a scene with nor had no signifant connection with, let’s make fun of her virginity even though her name is the MAID of tarth and she’s a highborn lady with no husband so it was expected of her to be a virgin, let’s just bask in gwendoline christie’s amazing presence because that’s what WE deserve however she did NOT deserve that. she deserved a character that had a purpose! she deserved no chance and no choice! you can tell that she tries to emulate book brienne in her scenes but the script really says different and it’s SO frustrating because we could’ve had a really good thing going but we didn’t. UGH.

and am i getting flayed for this?? maybe and it’s what I deserve, but I honestly don’t like how she’s supposed to act like, the paragon of good for jaime and she has to keep telling him to do the right thing over and over like he’s not an adult man that’s incapable of making his own decisions—once again book jaime CAN’T relate. this one is minor maybe nit picking but we’re here now SO i don’t like how she’s the one that named oathkeeper because it was important for jaime to name it HIMSELF because HE’S the one who decided that he’ll keep the vow he made for catelyn and it’s important for US to know that but they changed the scene around and it became more like brienne charged him to keep the vow (harrenhal scene), brienne naming the sword oathkeeer bc he decided to go through with it.

like mind you I was predominantly a show watcher, and brienne was my favorite character before—and she still is now don’t get me wrong LOL—but like watching the show then going into the books, the changes are SO drastic and honestly it’s really sad how they threw a lot of the aspects that made her special away to compartilize her in this one box just because they couldn’t be fucked to read her chapters.

#long post #you asked for an essay and u get an essay ok #like dont get me wrong i like show bri still and shes still my fave in the show #but i get frustrated sometimes w her and her lack thereof story and how she gets treated #and i probably missed some more stuff but this was getting too long and i just woke up #but we can have faves and STILL criticise them ok!!!! sjsjsjsjjs #honestly tldr read her chapters !!!

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eddieeatsass · 5 years ago

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The Truth Is That I Think I've Had Enough

Summary: For the first time since Stan developed feelings for his best friend, Richie was finally single on Valentine’s Day, and Stan was fully planning on taking advantage of it. He invited Richie on a camping trip, just wanting one night where he could pretend, but Richie had different plans. Pairing: Stozier Rating: E Warnings: Eventual smut, explicit language

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When it came to the list of things Richie wanted to be doing on Valentine’s Day, Stan knew camping was not high up on the register. Richie was a city boy through and through, but he was also a loyal friend, so when Stan suggested they go camping for the weekend, Richie had gone along with it.

They were both single, after all, and it’s not like they didn’t hang out every other day of the year… so why should Valentine’s Day be any different?

Well, as far as Richie was concerned, it wasn’t. But Stan may have been indulging in his yearning just a little bit. For the first time since Stan developed feelings for his best friend, Richie was finally single on Valentine’s Day, and Stan was going to take advantage of it. So sue him if he wanted to pretend for one night that things were different.

But the truth still stood that Richie knew nothing of Stan’s pining, and nothing about camping, which made the trip a little tricky. They’d gone camping a few times when they’d been kids, tagging along with Stan’s parents who had done most of the handy work. All Richie and Stan had worried about was how toasted to make their marshmallows in pursuit of the perfect smore.

But now Richie was standing before him, gazing between the crumpled tent on the ground, and Stan’s awaiting expression, clear confusion boggling his mind.

“You gonna help or am I doing this all on my own?” Stan asked with light laughter.

“Uhhhhhhhhhh…” Richie drawled, unsure of how to proceed. “I mean yeah, of course, I just don’t quite... know... how.”

Richie picked up one of the objects sitting atop the tarp-like material. He jumped back when what started as a small bundle of sticks suddenly snapped out into a series of rods.

“Careful Rich! I didn’t plan on losing an eye today. We don’t have the medical equipment for that.” Stan warned, making sure to keep an ease to his tone so Richie knew he was teasing.

Richie nodded earnestly, taking more precaution as he began to snap the sticks into one long rod.

Stan knew what he was doing well enough to not need instructions, but Richie’s every move was a gamble between helping, or causing the whole tent to deflate. Stan finally took pity on him and assigned Richie the easy task of getting their blow up mattress out of the car, figuring it would be easier to finish the tent without Richie’s helping hands.

Their tent was generously sized, large enough for a twin person air mattress, and then a little extra room for their cooler and bags. Stan assured Richie that there were no bears in the area, so it was safe to sleep with their food alongside them, but Richie was still hesitant. He soothed himself by insisting that Stan sleep on the side closest to the cooler. If a bear attacked, it would be Stanley’s job to keep Richie safe. Stan’s heart fluttered a bit at the trust Richie instilled in him, no matter how hypothetical, or how unlikely he’d be to actually win a fight against a bear. Stan chose to keep both of those hypotheticals to himself and let Richie think him brave.

When Richie trekked back from the car, heavy box in one hand and air pump in the other, Stan was all done setting up the tent.

“God, why is this so heavy!?” Richie complained, plunking the box with the air mattress at their feet.

“It’s the price we pay for comfort.” Stan said, amused.

“At least we don’t have to blow this thing up with our mouths.” Richie conceded, giving the box a swift kick in retaliation for making his arms hurt.

“Psh, you don’t have enough air in your lungs.” Stan teased, taking the pump from Richie’s outstretched hand.

“But I have the blowjob lips to make up for it. One wrap of these puppies around that nozzle and it would blow itself up.” Richie made obnoxious kissing noises, too distracted by his obscenity to notice the way Stan’s cheeks heated up. His pulse pounded in his ears as thoughts of Richie’s lips wrapped around something else crept into his mind.

“Richie, I hate to be the one to break this to you, but blowjobs don’t involve any actual blowing.”

“And how would you know that, Stanley?”

“I’m a virgin, not an idiot.” Stan deadpanned.

Truth be told, Stan wasn’t as much of a virgin as his friends thought he was. He hadn’t done much, but because of his religion and strict parents, they’d all assumed Stanley hadn’t even kissed anyone yet. Low and behold it was at Jewish summer camp that he had experienced his first kiss, and his second, and so on. He’d even gotten to second base on the very last day of camp with good ol’ Patricia Blum.

But Stanley was a private man, and as respect for Patty, he hadn’t gone around spreading word of their affairs, even though he was secretly dying to tell Richie and see how far his jaw dropped when he found out Stan had gotten more action than he had. Trashmouth never shut up about sex, but they all knew he’d never had any. Stan wondered if Richie would ask Stan for tips, or ask him to demonstrate how he’d groped Patty down by the lake that day. He could show Richie a thing or two, teach him how to be soft and gentle with his fingers.

“Looks like the sun is already starting to go down.” Richie noted, peering off towards the cliff that overlooked the valley. They’d gotten prime real estate thanks to Stan’s knowledge of the woods. He knew exactly where to go where they wouldn’t be disturbed by other campers.

“We should start a fire.” Stan decided. He’d had enough training in the boy scouts to know it was always better to start your fire before the sun went down. It saved you a lot of annoyance, frozen fingertips, and a much harder time finding resources by flashlight.

“Rich, can you gather some twigs for me? About this big,” Stan picked one up that was by his foot. “and make sure they’re dry.” He handed the stick to Richie, who immediately brought it to his forehead in a fake salute.

“Aye aye captain!” Richie stiffened his limbs, swiveling around and doing his best army march impression as he wandered off in search of sticks.

While Richie was away, Stan got to work on setting up a makeshift pit for the fire to be contained in. He gathered as many rocks as he could find nearby and set them up in a neat little circle. Once Stan was satisfied with his work, he moved on to blowing up the air mattress inside their tent.

As he connected the pump to the mattress and began the repetitive motion that would surely leave his arms aching, he let his mind wander.

In hindsight, there was probably a much subtler way Stan could have found to spend Valentine’s Day with Richie. He’s sure if he’d offered up their usual Chinese food and ‘The Princess Bride’ (Richie’s all time favorite movie no matter what he says to the contrary), Richie would have pounced on the idea. So why had Stan felt the need to make it into a whole thing?

Well, he knew why, but he didn’t want to admit it. The knowledge was coated in shame and guilt, but it was still buzzing in the back of his head like a bug he couldn’t squish. Stan wanted this to be a date. Maybe he even liked pretending it was. He knew that wasn’t fair, but he didn’t have much control over it. If they’d done the same thing they always did, it wouldn’t have felt special.

Once the air mattress was completely inflated, and the pump tucked back into its box, Stan let himself fall forward on to the air filled PVC with an auditory oof.

Face down in the uncomfortable fabric, Stan felt like it was where he deserved to be. Lovesick, lying, dirty little-

“Yo, Stanny, I got your sticks!”

Stan steeled himself, tucking away his intrusive thoughts in favor of less intimate ones.

When Stan exited the tent, he wasn’t expecting to come face to face with a mountain of sticks. Standing before him, Richie was covered in dirt, twigs sticking out from his bush of hair, and arms full of branches towering high enough to shield half his face.

“Get in a fight with a tree?” Stan teased, hurrying forward so he could take half the stack from Richie’s shaking arms.

“Yeah, the tree won.” Richie answered with a matching tone, causing Stan’s heart to flutter traitorously.

“We didn’t need this many, you know.”

“I know, but I figured better safe than sorry, right? What if we suddenly need to build two fires? Or three? Or maybe even a fourth? What if we get stuck out here forever and need to provide heat to the village we create to survive. Our children deserve fires too, don’t they Stan? Don’t they?”

“We’re having children?” Stan questioned, beginning to place the sticks in the small fire pit he’d made.

“Yes.” Richie answered definitively as he plopped down beside Stan.

“I’m not sure that’s anatomically possible, but sure, I’ll play along.” Stan delighted.

“Okay, so we’re gonna have two kids. Twins.”

“Of course.” Stan nodded seriously, entertaining Richie’s wild imagination.

“One girl and one boy, or, you know, whatever gender they wanna be. We ain’t gonna be those kind of parents.”

That roused a laugh from Stan, knowing too well how strongly Richie’s opinions on parenting styles were. Richie had thought long and hard on what kind of parent he wanted to be in the future. You wouldn’t think Richie Tozier was a sap when it came to children, but tiny tots had him wrapped around their fingers. Richie had been dreaming about starting a family since they were kids, and Stan was no stranger to being ‘the wife’ in the equation. Richie had organized many imaginary weddings for them when they were young. They’d been married seven times in total, and had played house more times than Stan could count. It was almost enough to fuel Stan’s late night thoughts that Richie might actually reciprocate his feelings.

“We’ll name them Pizza and Macaroni.” Richie declared.

“Why in hell’s name would we do that?” Stan scoffed, grabbing the box of matches from his pocket. He ignited one and flicked it into the center of the pit.

“We’re creating a new society, Stan. There are no rules, no norms. Pizza and Macaroni could be the new standard for names. Imagine.”

“I don’t want to.”

Richie wrapped an arm around Stan’s shoulder and pulled him in close, leaving little room between their faces for Stan to breathe.

“Imagine.” Richie repeated with extra vigor.

“Fine.” Stan closed his eyes and paused for a moment. “I’m imagining it.”

“And? It’s beautiful, right?” Richie asked excitedly.

“Oh, oh god, Macaroni just stabbed Pizza with a fork. He’s bleeding everywhere! There’s no paramedics around, the town consists of just us and we never got any medical training. I’m holding our son, Richie. I’m holding him in my arms, oh god, his blood tastes like tomato sauce Richie-”

“Shut the fuck up!” Richie laughed, wrestling Stan to the ground and pinning him in place. “Take it back! Do not eat our son, Staniel!”

“But he tastes so good.” Stan giggled, his eyes still squeezed shut.

“Spit him out! Spit him out or we’re getting a divorce!”

Stan finally peeked one eye open, seeing Richie’s bright smile hovering over him and dark curls falling into his eyes.

“You’ll have to divorce me seven times then.” Stan challenged with a quirk to his eyebrow.

“Huh?” Richie’s face contorted as he tried to pinpoint Stan’s line of thought.

A piece of Stan’s heart detached from itself and fell into the pit of his stomach. Of course he didn’t remember, why would he?

“Nothing, never mind.” Stan laughed shallowly, shrugging Richie off and rolling back on to his feet. He stopped to check that the fire was successfully catching and was moderately pleased with the small flames he saw licking at the sticks. It should continue to grow if they left it.

“Are you hungry?” Stan asked over his shoulder, using it as an excuse to detach himself from what had just happened.

“Uh, yeah, I could go for some food.” Richie answered, mild confusion still evident in his voice.

“Cool, I brought hot dogs and beans-”

“I think I want smores.” Richie’s voice suddenly rang from beside Stan, causing him to jolt. Richie just laughed at the reaction, cutting in front of Stan and jogging towards their tent.

“You can’t have smores for dinner, Richie.” Stan chastised.

“You’re not my mom!”

Stan once again found himself fighting back a smile as Richie’s figure disappeared into the tent.

An hour later Stan found himself sitting on a log they’d rolled over from a nearby fallen tree. He was holding a stick over the fire, a marshmallow precariously hanging from the end of it. The sky had darkened to a navy blue, pin pricked with stars and constellations they had yet to discover.

Stan moved the marshmallow a little farther above the flames, keeping it from getting charred like Richie’s own marshmallow, which was engulfed in flames.

“I can hear you judging me.” Richie quipped, keeping his eyes on his marshmallow as he brought the flaming gelatin towards himself and began erratically blowing it out.

Stan kept his laughter locked behind his lips.

“It’s just… so unnecessary.” Stan responded.

“It’s not unnecessary! It’s fully necessary! This is the only way to get the perfect marshmallow!” Richie defended.

Stan looked over at the gooey black orb Richie was shoving between two graham crackers. He made a fake gagging noise while sticking out his tongue, finally letting his laughter free when Richie punched him playfully in the arm.

“The perfect marshmallow will never include scorch marks.”

“Boo, you’re no fun.” Richie took a stubborn bite of his smore, reaching out with his free hand and tapping Stan’s stick.

Stan watched in horror as his flawlessly roasted marshmallow disappeared into the flames of the fire, immediately disintegrating into nothing but sticky residue.

“Saboteur!” Stan yelled, pointing an accusing finger at Richie’s chocolate covered face.

“Moi!?” Richie gasped, throwing a hand to his chest dramatically. “I would never! But, I am not a heartless man. Please, as condolences for your loss, will you accept the other half of my smore, monsieur?”

Stan wanted to cringe at the terrible french accent Richie adorned, but his cuteness won over and Stan was just left smiling.

“I suppose I’ll eat your ash-cookie.”

“I’d rather you eat my ass, cookie.” Richie shot back without pause, winking slyly as he scooted closer to Stan on the log.

The air around Stan began thickening, heating him up from the inside out and causing his brain to melt just slightly. He watched in slow motion as Richie’s fingers brought the half eaten smore up to Stan’s lips. It should have been gross; Richie’s face and fingers had remnants of chocolate on them, the smore was falling apart and showcasing the awfully burnt marshmallow, and Stan had a strict ‘no-sharing-food’ policy because he didn’t like sharing germs. But regardless of all of those reasons to pull away, Stan found himself leaning in closer.

As soon as Richie’s fingers brushed Stan’s lips it was like something inside him took over. Stan raised his hands to hold Richie’s wrist, and then cocking his head so he had a better angle, he raked his tongue over Richie’s fingers as he gathered all the chocolate he could. It was a lewd gesture, one Stan would never imagine doing any other time, but something about the flickering campfire and the stillness of the wind made him feel like he wasn’t in this world anymore. He was in a world where he could make Richie want him.

“Uhm…” Richie’s shaky breath brought Stan hurtling back to reality fast enough to leave him dizzy.

Stan quickly let go of Richie’s arm, pulling away both physically and emotionally as he chewed his smore with vigor.

“You’re right.” Stan said through a mouthful of goo. “It’s not as bad as I thought it’d be.”

Richie just stared in awe as Stan tried to swallow past the sticky chocolate and marshmallow that stuck to his teeth in defiance.

Once the residue of his humiliation was all swallowed down, Stan stood abruptly, stretching his arms high above his head and producing a fake yawn.

“Jeez, I’m tired already.” Stan lied, hoping Richie would go along with it.

“Makes sense, we did have a long day of travelling.” Richie answered towards Stan’s turned back.

Stan let out a sigh of relief he hadn’t been aware he’d been holding. As he let his arms drop, so did his shoulders, and some of his tension along with it.

“I’m gonna go change into my pajamas.” Stan stated, leaving hurriedly before Richie could respond.

Once in the tent, and hidden behind its nylon walls, Stan was finally able to process what he’d just done. As he slowly changed into his pajamas he went over the course of events in his head, wincing as he recalled the way he’d indulged so passionately in such a platonic touch. It had felt so good in the moment, convincing himself he saw lust in Richie’s eyes, but the remorse he felt now settled over him like a blanket. He didn’t want to ruin his friendship with Richie, he couldn’t, he had to keep himself together.

Stan was startled out of his stupor as the zipper of the tent began to open. Stan quickly pulled his sleep shirt the rest of the way down, hiding away his body and his thoughts alike.

“You decent?” Richie asked teasingly before opening the zipper any wider.

“Yeah.” Stan responded, warmth already licking back up his chest.

Richie opened the tent the rest of the way and as he climbed in Stan could see that he’d put out the fire. He felt a weird swell of pride that Richie had remembered at least some of the camping basics Stan had taught him.

He’d averted his eyes as Richie changed, had curled in on himself as Richie leaned over him to reach their stuff, but now he was laying next to Richie’s warm body with no way to escape. Their proximity seared into him like a burn that he was far too aware of.

“You know, this was way more fun than my usual Valentine’s Day.” Richie offered into the silence, gazing up through the skylight that allowed them to see the stars.

Stan’s heart threatened to break out of his chest.

“The past few years I’ve usually spent it with some equally lonely one-night-stand. The sex was never good enough to make the next day worth it.” Richie admitted.

“Why not?” Stan piped in.

Richie thought for a moment, allowing the silence to lull them a little bit deeper into the comfort of night.

“I’d wake up feeling disappointed because the person next to me was never who I wanted it to be.”

Stan’s ears perked up. He angled his body towards Richie, cushioning his head in the crook of his bent elbow as he contemplated his friend’s profile. This was the first time Richie had ever alluded to having a crush.

“Who did you want it to be?” Stan asked shakily.

Richie turned his head towards Stan, locking eyes with him and seeming to search for something.

“What about you?” Richie asked, flipping the question around without answering it.

“What do you mean?”

“Who would you choose to wake up to every day?”

The question leered above their heads, threatening to fall and crush the thin veil of tension that had formed between them.

Stan gulped audibly, wanting nothing more than to shy away from Richie’s gaze, but he held strong.

“It doesn’t matter, they don’t want the same thing I do.”

“How can you be sure?” Richie murmured challengingly.

Stan’s mouth gaped open and closed like a fish out of water as he tried to wade through the chaos in his head.

“All I know is I’m glad I’m waking up next to you tomorrow.” Richie said, turning his head back to the sky.

Blood pounded in Stan’s ears as he tried to decode Richie’s words. Was he saying what he thought he was saying? Or was Stan just reading into things, spurred on by his unrequited feelings and juvenile hope?

“I’m glad too.” Stan breathed out.

Richie didn’t miss a beat before answering.

“Glad enough to kiss me?”

Stan’s entire body froze, something inside him shattering as the butterflies finally escaped his stomach, filling up their tent until Stan couldn’t see anything but Richie.

Slowly, as if scared one wrong move would make Richie run, Stan propped himself up on his elbow, peering down at Richie’s expectant face. He kept his pace steady as he slowly dipped down and braved a single kiss.

It wasn’t much of anything, just a chaste peck, a quick dip into the pool to test the water. But that one kiss was enough to erase all of Stan’s trepidation, leaving him as bare and open and vulnerable as Richie was. And it felt liberating.

The next few minutes passed by in a flurry. Richie surged up to reclaim Stan’s lips, no longer just a peck but now a full-blown kiss that left Stan’s legs shaking. Richie flipped them over so he was hovering above Stan, using his leverage to kiss up Stan’s neck, the line of his jaw, and back to his lips. It was quick to turn feral, their teeth clanking against each other as desperation took over. Stan had never felt so terrified and turned on at the same time, his hand trembling as it fisted into Richie’s lush curls and pulled him closer.

Stan’s breathing was labored, his swallows dry as he tried to steady his quickening pulse. Richie was everywhere, blanketing all of Stan’s senses. The smell of Richie’s laundry detergent swirled around them, melding with the lingerings of their campfire. His tongue tasted sweet like the chocolate they’d eaten, and the sound of Stan’s own meek noises were swallowed up by Richie’s own deep growls. If all that wasn’t already over-stimulation enough, Richie’s was consistently rutting himself against Stan, causing his arousal to become less and less subtle with every passing moment.

Stan broke away with a heaving breath, peering up at Richie through hooded eyes.

“I’m a virgin.” Stan blurted.

Richie stared deeply into Stan’s eyes, churning his gut with intensity until what felt like several minutes had passed. When Richie finally spoke again, the sound nearly startled Stan.

“Me too.”

Stan smiled, thankful that Richie felt safe enough to be honest with him. He reached a hand up and gently cupped Richie’s cheek, who immediately leaned into the touch.

“We don’t have to, uh, do anything.” Richie stuttered out, his eyes gently closing as he relaxed into Stan’s hold.

“I know. But if you wanted to…” Stan trailed off, leaving the offer open-ended.

Richie’s eyes popped back open, searching Stan’s face for further explanation.

“I brought stuff… uh… just in case. I guess I was kinda hopeful about tonight.” Stan admitted, averting eye contact. “Can I make a confession?” Richie whispered, his voice going a bit rough at the end. “I was kind of hopeful myself…”

“What do you mean, exactly?” Stan asked.

“I sort of fantasized about the way tonight might play out. I’ve had some… personal experience with receiving, so I made sure to clean myself in case my wildest dreams suddenly came to fruition. But I can also top! Uhm, if that’s your preference.” Richie rushed in addition.

“Personal experience? I thought you were a virgin?” Stan’s tone held a lick of jealousy, which he tried to cover up by clearing his throat.

In response Richie held up his hand and wiggled his fingers, hoping that Stan got the message.

“Fuck that’s so hot.” Stan groaned, letting his head fall back against his pillow. He felt open mouth kisses being peppered down the column of his neck and keened embarrassingly loud.

“I’ll be honest, the thought of splitting you open on my cock does sound appealing.” Stan murmured.

Richie’s head shot up, his eyes wide like a deer in headlights. Stan thought he’d said something wrong until Richie was suddenly shucking his clothes as quickly as possible, dizzying Stan with his pace.

“Slow down! Rich- Richie- there’s not that much room in the tent!” Stan laughed, trying (and failing) to get Richie to sit still. When he finally stopped moving, Richie was stripped down to his underwear.

It’s not like Stan and Richie had never seen each other in their underwear before, but apparently context did a lot, and in this context Stan’s whole body was thrumming at the sight.

“Fuck, we’re really doing this, huh?” Stan whispered, trailing his gaze down Richie’s lean torso.

“Only if you want to.” Richie assured.

Stan wanted to. He wanted it more than anything. But words were failing him as he took in this brand new Richie, bathed in moonlight from the tent’s open skylight, eyes wide and vulnerable with lust.

So instead of talking, Stan took action. He locked eyes with Richie as he began stripping off his own clothes, doing so much slower than Richie had. It was purposeful, a confirmation that he was all in. Their gaze didn’t break until Stan was bared to the same degree as Richie, his navy blue boxer briefs a stark contrast to Richie’s hot pink flamingo print.

Stan was the one to surge forward when their tension peaked, knocking Richie on to his back and giving himself room to straddle him. Richie’s hands were slow burning coils against Stan’s skin, lighting him up everywhere they touched. Stan rolled his hips down experimentally, feeling Richie’s responding twitch between the thin fabric that separated them.

“Off.” Stan demanded, pawing at the waist of Richie’s offending boxers.

Richie complied, but did one better. In the same fail swoop, Richie hooked his thumbs under both of their waistbands and pulled them down in conjunction.

The action resulted in a collective moan as their oversensitive cocks finally broke free and rubbed against each other.

It didn’t take long for Richie's hands to slither back up their thighs and in between them, grabbing them both in one hand. Stan hissed at the contact, clenching his teeth in an attempt to hold back the wave that already threatened to crash over.

“Fuck, Stanny. Who knew you were packing?”

The comment was so un-sexy it made Stan puddle into laughter, his head falling to Richie’s shoulder as the chest underneath him rumbled in tandem.

“Sorry, I don’t think I’m very good at this whole dirty talk thing.” Richie admitted between giggles.

“I don’t want dirty talk.” Stan murmured, placing a gentle kiss on Richie's temple. “I just want you.”

Richie nodded, evidently calmed by the notion that he didn’t have to perform, he just needed to be.

Richie experimented with another flick of his wrist, causing Stan to jerk away instinctively.

“Rich- if you keep doing that I’m not gonna last.” Stan admitted.

“Damn, I’m that good?”

“Shut up and teach me how to finger you.” Stan smirked as he wiped the smile right off Richie’s face.

“It might be better if I just… show you.” Richie shifted out from under Stan and got to his knees.

“You said you have lube…?” “Oh!” Stan exclaimed, bouncing up and reaching for his backpack. He immediately procured the lube and condoms he’d brought.

“Thanks babe.” Richie said casually, missing the way Stan spluttered at the pet name.

Richie reached for the lube as Stan tried to recover, but he didn’t have much time to do so as he watched Richie squeeze a little bit of lube on to his fingers and immediately reached behind himself.

Stan’s heart went mad, bouncing against its confines like it was a prison. He couldn’t help but stare at the way Richie’s face contorted into an all new type of expression, one Stan had never seen on anyone’s face before.

His eyes trailed down Richie’s torso, stopping to admire the way his thin body strained around muscle, how his pale chest flushed pink with arousal, and the delicious way his cock stood to attention just begging for praise. But it was the space between Richie’s spread thighs that mesmerized him, where he could see his hand moving behind him.

Without thought, Stan’s hand drifted to his own cock, acting on instinct as his mind went hazy. He held it gently, not stroking it so much as just giving it the pressure it craved. He watched as Richie’s index finger disappeared inside himself, making Richie moan lewdly.

Richie didn’t take long to get all three fingers inside himself, getting more and more into it as the minutes ticked on. Richie now had his eyes shut and his head thrown back as he fucked himself down on his digits. Stan almost didn’t want to stop him, wanted to see how long Richie could ride himself until he made himself cum, but even more than that, he wanted to feel Richie’s tight heat constricting around his shaft. “So are you gonna let me fuck you or what?” Stan’s voice seemed to jostle Richie out of whatever place his mind had gone to, causing him to look around the tent for the culprit of his ceased pleasure.

“Stanny, fuck, please-” Richie’s voice was completely hoarse as he crawled towards Stan eagerly. “Come here, let me take care of you.” Stan ushered Richie forward, pulling him flush against his chest and kissing him as passionately as possible.

“I want you to ride me.” Stan whispered against Richie’s lips.

“Yes, please.”

Stan laid back down, pulling Richie on top of him for the second time that night.

They kissed for a while longer, grinding into each other as Stan’s cock teased at Richie’s entrance. Keeping their lips locked, Stan reached for his condom, tearing it open expertly and bringing the latex down between their bodies.

Richie sat up on his knees, giving Stan room to roll the condom down over his dick, but as soon as it was situated snug against Stan’s pelvis, Richie wasted no time coating it in lube. He threw the bottle behind him, moving impatiently as he fumbled to line Stan’s cock up with his hole.

“Rich...” Stan reached for Richie’s free hand and entwined their fingers. The gesture gave Richie pause and he finally let out a sigh.

“Sorry, I’m just… I’ve wanted this for a long time.” Richie said quietly.

Stan’s heart swelled. He squeezed Richie’s hand in reassurance.

“Me too, but that doesn’t mean we have to rush. I’m not going to suddenly change my mind, we can take our time with this.”

Richie bowed his head, a shy smile flashing pearly teeth. Stan took the opportunity to slink his own hand around his cock, joining Richie’s. Together, they held it still as Richie slowly sank down until the head popped past his rim.

They both gasped as the new sensation washed over them.

Richie started cursing under his breath, sinking down a little bit lower every few seconds until he was fully seated in Stan’s lap.

Stan held an iron grip on Richie’s hips as he tried to ground himself, the feeling of Richie clenching around him almost too much to bare.

“Why haven’t we been doing this all these years.” Richie whined, pulling himself up until the head of Stan’s cock threatened to slip out, before pushing back down at a satisfyingly slow pace.

“Because we’re idiots.” Stan answered, raising his hips to meet Richie as he came down.

“H-huge idiots.” Richie agreed, nodding along with his thrusts.

“We have a lot of - hnnnng fuck - a lot of time to make up for.”

“Is that a promise?”

“Rich, I would literally stay in this moment for a lifetime if I could- ahhhh.”

“Your dick might shrivel up.” Richie noted, speeding up his rhythm upon hearing Stan’s moans.

“Worth it.” Stan swallowed thickly, getting lost in the sight of Richie’s cock bouncing against his stomach.

“I wanna suck you off.” Stan blurted, no longer able to filter his thoughts through the haze in his brain.

“Fuck, Stanny- you’re so perfect- nnnnggggg ohmygod-” Richie’s entire body tensed up as he reached his peak. Stan watched as his cock twitched, releasing strings of cum that shot impressively far. The feeling of Richie clenching around him paired with the sight of him completely unraveling tipped Stan over the edge along with him.

His orgasm felt like it lasted a lifetime, draining every ounce of energy out of him and leaving Stan completely boneless by the end. He vaguely processed Richie slipping off him, heard the sound of the tent unzip, and then felt the warmth of Richie’s body saddling back up beside him.

“You okay there?” Richie’s voice drifted through the tent, but it still felt light years away. Stan nodded meekly, his bearings just starting to come back.

Stan peered down at his spent cock, giving it a small nod in appreciation for its performance.

“Where’s the condom?” Stan asked drearily.

“I put it outside the tent.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“Would you rather we sleep with it next to us?” Richie asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Mmmmm- shut up and spoon me.” Stan grumbled, turning to his side and pulling Richie’s arm over him.

“As you wish.” Richie whispered.

#stozier #stozier fanfic #stozier fic #stozier fanfiction #stozier lemon #stozier smut #richie tozier #stanley uris #stan uris #it 2017 #it smut #it lemon #it fanfic #it fanfiction #my posts #my writing

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chickensarentcheap · 4 years ago

Text

Best Part of Me -Chapter 5

Warnings: none

Tagging: @innerpaperexpertcloud, @c-a-v-a-l-r-y, @alievans007, @thunderintheshadows

“So how did you end up here?” Salena asks, as they lounge on her back deck, sipping sparkling water infused with fresh fruit and enjoying the view and the sound of the ocean. With a steady wind blowing though, the waves are impressive, perfect surfing conditions. Mac and Stanlee are asleep and curled up together in the sun while Declan is tucked tightly into the new neighbour’s side, comfortably napping with his head resting against her. “In Australia?”

Esme settles back into her chair, Addie -awake and content- laying along her arm. “My husband’s Australian.”

“But how did you end up here? You’re obviously not from Oz.”

“I’m actually a long way from home. Well, what used to be my home. I’m originally from Colorado.”

“From the snow and the mountains to this,” Salena nods towards the ocean. “That’s quite the change in scenery.”

“I’ll take this over the snow and mountains any day of the week. We used to live here. We actually met here. My husband used to live in Kimberley. We got married here, our oldest was born here. We used to live just outside of Sydney.”

Salena gently combs her fingers through Declan’s hair. “And you moved back to the States?”

“Because of work. My husband’s work. He was contracted out a lot. Constantly travelling. So we thought it would be a good idea to be closer to my family, in case I ever needed something while he was out of town. He just thought it would be a good idea to have people close by. Just in case.”

Her neighbour nods. “How did you two even meet? Colorado and Australia are pretty far apart. And on two completely different sides of the world.”

“We were working for the same company and got contracted out to the same job.” It’s a vague explanation, but it’s the truth.

“What kind of company? Sorry!” she laughs, and Declan gives a small jump but doesn’t waken. “I’m not trying to be nosy. I’m just trying to get a read on you. You’re a hard person to read. Has anyone ever told you that?”

“I may have heard it once or twice,” Esme admits. Or a dozen. A side effect of the job, she supposes. Years of pretending to be someone she wasn’t to get what she wanted ….and what others needed…out of people. Being herself had never been an option with Mark; he was too busy trying to tear her down and turn her into something and someone she wasn’t. It had taken a lot of work, and a phenomenal amount of patience, on Tyler’s part to get her to be herself -her true self- with him. In the same way she’d had to work long and hard at breaking all his walls down.

“If it’s a trust thing…”

“It’s not that. I mean it is,” Esme attempts to explain. “In a way. It’s not something that comes easily to me. The job I was in…the other people who were in it…it was complicated, and they were complicated. It’s engrained in me. Not connecting with people. Which is really sad and pathetic, I know.”

“It doesn’t sound sad or pathetic,” Salena assures her. “It sounds like someone who’s used to getting hurt.”

“That’s part of it, I guess. My ex-husband was a complete and utter dick. Abusive in every way you can imagine. When I got away from him, I swore I was done with men. That I’d never again trust one, let alone get married again. Well, I think it’s obvious that didn’t last.”

Salena laughs at that.

“It was private security,” her eyes are on the infant in her arms, a soft smile on her face as she uses a fingertip to push the thick, dark tresses off of Addie’s forehead. “What we were contracted out to do. That’s how we met. Through work.”

It’s not that simple of course; it wasn’t as innocent as two people connecting at the water cooler or making eyes at one another across a meeting room. It is much more complicated. Twisted, even. But it’s definitely not the kind of love story to be telling the neighbour the first time you meet her. Not to mention Tyler would lose his mind if he found out she was telling a total stranger the details of their old life.

“And you just sort of clicked, huh? That sounds cute. Kind of romantic, even.”

Esme laughs. “It was far from cute or romantic. Let’s just say that lust was the driving influence and leave it that. He was pretty hard to resist. He still is.”

It makes her smile; that even after six years and five kids, even the simplest of kiss or look from him can still take her breath away.

“So you ended up hooking up through work, got married, started off in Australia and ended up Colorado.”

Esme nods and sips her drink. “Then he came into some money and was able to retire and we decided to come back here. We figured it was the best place to raise our family and grow old together. Somewhere quiet and fairly secluded. Safe.”

“You guys have a hell of a spot, that’s for sure. Definitely perfect for a family. I remember when it went up for sale. I took a look at it but was way to big just for Stanny and I. Not to mention it was way out of my price range. But it’s an incredible place.”

“We love it. It’s everything we could have possibly wanted. Or even dreamed of having. I wish we’d come back sooner. It would have avoided a lot of drama and solved a lot of problems.”

“Well what’s the saying? Hindsight is twenty twenty? No sense looking back. Just keeping looking forward. Mind you, it took me a long time to practice what I preach. I didn’t make a lot of good decisions myself. With my personal life.”

Esme moves the baby to her chest; pressing a kiss to her daughter’s temple before placing a palm on the back of her head for support, then gently guiding it down to her shoulder, other hand softly patting her on her diapered bum. “Bad relationship?”

“Same as you. Bad ex-husband. Mine wasn’t abusive, but he had addiction issues. I tried for three years to help him. But you can’t help anyone that won’t help themselves. No matter how much you love them and want to save them.”

“Some people can’t be saved,” Esme reasons, and Salena nods in agreement. “I learned that the hard way. And I’m sorry you had to, too.”

“It’s nice to find someone that ‘gets it’. That knows what it’s like to live with someone like that. How it isn’t as easy to get away like most people think. Don’t they think we would if we could? Get the hell out? If it was that simple, wouldn’t we have left a long time ago?”

“I would have left the second Mark started his shit. The very first time he ever raised his hand to me. But I thought I loved him and that we were meant to be and all that other stupid shit we believe at first. I thought I could help him and change him and that everything would be great. And the worse it got, the more I thought I could help. I guess I thought it made me a failure if I just gave up and walked away. Not to mention I have a mother that put that crap in my head but that’s besides the point.”

“Are we sisters from another mister?” Salena gives a dry laugh. “Because our mothers sound one in the same.”

“I can’t believe I actually thought he was a decent person at first. I mean, looking back at it? The signs were all there that he was a dick! But I was young, and I thought him being controlling and protective was just his way of showing he loves me. I was so goddamn stupid. It’s infuriating! Especially now that I know what real love feels like.”

“And what does it feel like?”

“It’s hard to describe. You just feel it. Every time they smile at you or they do something so unexpected and sweet for you. Or when you’re feeling gross and ugly and all you have to do is look at the way they’re looking at you. Or how they make you feel like you’re the most important person in their entire world. I know that sounds like a bunch of bullshit, and I always thought it was too. Until I actually started experiencing it.”

She’s never thought about it before. All the things…big and small…that remind her every day that just how loved she is. The soft forehead kisses or the ones to the temple. The tight, strong hugs that feels as if they’re capable of solving any problem. Or how he always covers her up with a blanket if she manages a nap on the couch or outside in one of the recliners. How he’ll get up in the middle of the night even she is the feeding the baby; fetching her a snack and something to drink and then staying awake with her until Addie is ready for sleep again.

It’s all the thing you don’t realize are happening until you sit back and take stock of them. Those tender moments that you’d never expect from a big, strong, and often intimidating man.

“Well, you’re lucky,” Salena says. “Very lucky.”

“I am,” Esme smiles. “I don’t think I realize it often enough. You sort of take it for granted. That they’ll just be there doing these things.”

“Until one day they’re not.”

Esme nods. She’s already come close to that. Mere minutes from away from not having the life that she does now. Had the ending in Dhaka gone different, she would have been back in Colorado, alone, when she was expecting Millie. Her daughter would have never known her father, and none of the kids after her would even exist. And it’s a sobering thought.

“I hope I get to experience it one day,” Salena muses. “That kind of love.”

“I never thought I’d find it. I’d give up that decent men even existed. It happens when you least expect it, trust me. I did not take that job thinking I was going to meet my future husband. Or that I’d end up with five kids.”

“Are you going to make it an even half dozen?”

“Oh hell no,” Esme laughs. “We are done. We’ve closed up shop. Five is enough. And first, after the twins, we thought three was enough. Apparently, we changed our minds. Twice.”

“I don’t know what your other kiddos look like, but this guy…” she smiles down at Declan. “…is a cutie pie. I could just sit here snuggling with him all day, I swear. What a cuddle bug.”

“Well you’re more than welcome to borrow him from time to time. Because this momma needs a break some days.”

“Anytime you need that break; you just send him this way. Because he is just too freaking precious.”

“He probably needs a break too. He’s a little jealous of his baby sister. And his big sister and brothers like to torment him. They’re going to have to be careful. Because he’s going to be huge and strong and lay them all out one day.”

“He’s definitely a big boy,” Salena agrees. “But so goddamn cute. I mean, look at those eyelashes. They go on for days.”

“He gets those from daddy. All the kids have them.”

“I used to run a day care,” she says. “So I have the experience. I’m not joking when I say you can bring him here. He’d be in good hands.”

“I may just take you up on that. It’s fine when my husband’s home because he doesn’t think twice about jumping in and doing it all himself. These two alone can wear me out. Never mind when the other three aren’t in school.”

“Well think about it. I’m more than willing to tame little man off your hands when you need me to.”

“I will,” Esme promises. “Think about it.”

Salena smiles, then leans down to press a kiss to Declan’s forehead. “I do I hope I find it one day. That love you’re talking about.”

“You will,” Esme assures her. “When you’re not even looking for it.”

****

It’s four thirty by the time they arrive home; covered in sweat and grime after a long day of working hard in the sun. Ovi had fallen asleep only five minutes into the drive home; snoring lightly, head resting against his window. Now Tyler nudges him awake; gently, so as not to startle him enough to jump clear out of his skin. He’s been having sleep issues for years as well; night terrors, bouts of insomnia, easily frightened and startled if woken up too abruptly. And he raises his head from the glass, blinking several times as he tries to orientate himself with his surroundings; a frown on his face, a hand rubbing at his stick neck.

“What we talked about this morning,” Ovi begins, as he climbs out of the truck and follows Tyler around to the tailgate. “About the whole job thing.”

“I thought we weren’t going to talk about that anymore,” Tyler toes off his dirty work boots, dropping them into the bed of the pickup. “In fact…” he yanks his t-shirt over his head, using it to wipe the sweat from his forehead and the back of his neck. “…I thought I said we’re not talking about it again.”

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” Ovi says in way of an apology. “Or bring up bad memories.”

“Yeah? So why’d you even bring up then? Did you think I was going to be okay with it?” There’s a gym bag with a change of clothes in the bed of the truck, and he pulls out a tank top and slips it on. Then steps out of his filthy cargos and climbs into a pair of board short. “You thought I’d say it was a good idea?”

“I thought you’d at least listen,” Ovi admits. “That you of all people would understand.”

“Understand what?” Tyler gathers up the dirty clothes, bunching then and rolling them together before heading up the driveway. “That you’re a fucking idiot for even thinking about it?”

“You thought about it once. You went into it.”

“Yeah, because I was a fucking idiot.”

“If you’d never gotten into the job, you never would have met Esme,” Ovi points out.

“She has nothing to do with this. Don’t bring her into your bullshit.”

“It kind of has everything to do with it. Without the job, there’d be no Esme. And without Esme, there’d be no kids, so…”

“Don’t use my wife and my kids as an excuse for making a shitty ass decision. Don’t use them to justify something stupid. I’m one of the lucky ones. I managed to stay alive. I managed to get the hell out and have a normal life. Or whatever normal is. Do you know how many guys actually manage that? To survive? To get out and have a wife and kids?”

Ovi shakes his head.

“Ten percent. If that. And the ones who do get married and start having kids and are still in the job? Most are divorced. Most don’t ever see their kids. Why the hell would you want that for yourself?”

“It would be a good opportunity.”

He tosses the dirty work clothes into the laundry basket that sits next to the door that leads into the house. “A good opportunity for what? Getting shot in the fucking head?”

“To prove myself.”

“What the hell does going into the job prove? Other than you’re an idiot. I can’t believe we’re even having this conversation. There’s nothing to prove. You know what kind of guys go into the job? The ones who don’t have the fucking brains to do anything else. Or the ones who like to kill or get off on it. The ones who have nothing left to live for and don’t care if they catch a bullet or not. I was that guy. That’s why I did it. Because I was too much of a coward to pull the trigger myself, so I figured why not just let someone else do it.”

“And the money…”

“Fuck the money. It was never really about that. That was just a bonus if I managed to survive. You are too good for this. For the job. Way too good. And you deserve more than that. A better life. Don’t get caught up in that bullshit. Don’t end up like me; fucked in the head. You think I want to be like this? Have these issues? Have to drug myself up every day just to function? You think this is how I want to live? I can’t go back and change things. I can’t take back all the ways I hurt my wife. All the lies I told her, the promises I never kept, the times I left her when she needed me the most. I fucked up. I should have left the job after Dhaka and never went back.”

“But this time would be different,” Ovi insists. “We’d be working together. We’d be in charge.”

“And what the hell do you know about the job? Other than what you saw in Dhaka. Name one thing you know about it that didn’t come from watching me.”

“I don’t know…” Ovi shrugs, scratching at the back of his head.

“You know shit about that job. Keep it that way. It’s a horrible fucking life. Don’t do that yourself. And especially don’t do that to Chloe.”

“She thinks it’s a good idea. That it’s something I should try.”

“Then you go back to Chloe and you tell her I said she’s just as stupid as you are.”

“Where are you going?” Ovi asks, when Tyler opens the door to step inside the house. “We’re not done talking about this.”

“Yeah, we are. Or at least I am. Now I’m going inside, and I’m going to kiss my wife and spend time with my kids. Don’t bring this up again.”

And with that he disappears into the house, slamming the door behind him.

****

She’s on the back patio, pulling clean laundry from a massive wicker basket that sits on the ground beside her. Folding clothes of all sizes and neatly arranging them -according to person- on the table. And she looks up at him as he steps through the sliding door, flashing that smile that still manages to make him weak in the knees even six years later.

“Hey,” she cheerfully greets. “I thought maybe you wouldn’t home until later. How did…?”

Placing his hands on the sides of her face, he kisses her. Long, slow, and deep. Until she’s standing her tip toes and her body is leaning into his. He’d been dying to do it all day; since he conversation with his father. After he’d talked about just how lucky he was to have someone like her. Not just as his wife and the mother of his children, but as his best friend, partner, lover, and confidant. The one person in the world that knows all his deepest and darkest secrets yet never judges or condemns him for them. Who he can be himself with, even at his weakest and most vulnerable. Who knows what kind of fucked up mess he is and still sticks around, giving him chance after chance.

She gives a long sigh of approval when the moment ends, her forearms resting against his chest as she smiles up at him. “Mmmm…what was that for?”

He pushes his hands through her hair, letting them fall onto her shoulders and down her back, coming to rest on her hips. “I need a reason to kiss my wife?”

“That wasn’t your usual ‘hey, I’m home’ kind of kiss. That was something entirely different. Kiss me like that again.”

He obliges; hands tightening their grip on her and pulling her against him, her palms sliding up his chest and over his shoulders and settling at back of his neck as she eagerly returns the kiss. Giggling and pulling away when his hands slid down to her ass.

“Okay…now that’s just wrong,” she scolds. “That is taking things way too far and you know it. Why do you insist on torturing me like this?”

“Believe me, I’m torturing myself just as much.”

“If you want to call two blow jobs in one night torture….”

He grins, hands back on her hips as he presses a kiss to her forehead. “I thought I showed you how grateful I was. Twice. Or did you forget about that part? Me returning the favour?”

“Oh trust me, you don’t forget orgasms like that. And can we stop talking about this? Because you smell so good right now and you’re all sweaty and dirty and just when I think my hormones cannot get any more out of control then they are already are…” she places her hands on his chest and tries to push him away; he’s all rock solid muscle and doesn’t even budge. “…you need to step back like ten feet before I just say to hell with what the doctor said and jump you right here.”

“I probably wouldn’t stop you,” he admits, and then laughs when she reaches for the waist of his shorts. “But, it’s not a good idea.”

“You’re the worst,” she pouts dramatically and returns to the laundry.

“The absolute worst,” he agrees, and kisses her temple before journeying over to the bar fridge in the corner, taking out two bottles of water, uncapping both and handing one to her. “Where’s the kids?” he asks, as he drops into the chair across from her.

“The baby is in her crib asleep and Chloe took the rest of your feral offspring down to the water.”

“Chloe, huh?”

“What’s the matter with Chloe?? You never had a problem with her watching the kids before. I thought you liked her.”

Tyler shrugs. “I can take her or leave her.”

“Well I think Ovi would appreciate a little more enthusiasm from you. Dd you he tell you that they’ve been looking at rings?”

His eyes narrow, bottle of pressed against his lips. “What kind of rings?”

“Engagement rings. I guess they’ve been talking. About the next step.”

“He just turned twenty.”

“I know,” Esme sighs. “But they’ve been talking about it. I told him that if he’s going to ask, they should make it a long engagement. Not to rush into actually getting married. I mean, they’re already living together so they’re getting the opportunity to see what marriage is like in a sense.”

“Don’t encourage them.”

“I’m not encouraging it. If he’s going to get her a ring, he’s going to do it regardless of what either of us say. It’s not we can tell him what to do.”

Tyler scowls. “Why the hell not?”

“Because he’s twenty years old, that’s why. He’s an adult.”

“Barely.”

“Regardless, he’s is a man now and he’s going to do what he wants. And apparently what he wants is to marry her. Hopefully later, rather than sooner. We can’t stop them, Tyler. It’s going to happen whether we think it’s a bad idea or not.”

“It’s a fucking terrible idea,” he growls. “I know you like her, but…”

“It’s not that I like her or dislike her. It’s that I love Ovi like he’s my own and I just want him to be happy. And if Chloe is who makes him happy…”

“How does he even know?” Tyler challenges. “She’s like the second girl he’s ever been with for fuck sakes. How does he know there’s not someone out there that might make him even happier?”

“You were only the third guy I’d ever been with and I knew you made me happy,” she points out.

“That’s not the same thing and you know it. We were both in our thirties when we met. We were old enough to know exactly what…and who…we wanted. He’s barely out of his teens and he wants to get married? Fuck that.”

Esme smirks. “Is your problem with Chloe or marriage itself?”

“If I had a problem with marriage do you think I would have even asked you? Or stuck around for six years? And if you even think of saying something like ‘you stick around for the kids’ I will lose my shit.”

“Okay, you are getting a little too wound up. I meant it as a joke. I obviously know you haven’t stuck around just for the kids. Just like I already know this is about Chloe. Why’d you ever agree to let her move here with me if you didn’t like her?”

“Because I knew he wouldn’t come with us if I didn’t.”

“Because you want him to be happy, right?”

“Of course I do. But I also wanted him where he belongs. With us. He wasn’t ready to live away from us and you know it. He’s still not. Yet you think it’s perfectly fine that he gets married?”

“Tyler, I don’t want to fight about this.”

“I’m not…” he sighs heavily, then lowers his voice and softens his tone. “…I’m not fighting. I just think it’s bullshit. It’s way too soon and he’s nowhere near ready for that kind of thing.”

“Which…” she steps around to his side of the table, softly rubbing his shoulders before curling her arms around his neck and perching herself on his thigh. “…is why I told him if he does ask her, he needs to take the next part slow. That he doesn’t need to rush things. That he should just enjoy being engaged and planning things. And he said he would. So…” she kisses his cheek. “…why are you so wound up over this?”

“I’m not wound up.”

“This bulging vein in the side of your neck…” she runs a fingertip down it. “….says you are wound up. What’s going on? All of a sudden you have a hate on for Chloe? I thought you liked her.”

“I never said I liked her. I said I was okay with her. There’s a difference.”

“Well can you at least rein it in a bit for tonight? Because I sort of…kind of…invited them for dinner and…”

“Oh for fuck sake,” he grumbles.

“…and I thought we could cook down on the beach. Nice and casual. Relaxed. And judging by the tension in your shoulders, you could use something casual and relaxed. Are you okay? This it not all about Ovi and Chloe.”

“It’s just been a long day,” Tyler reasons. “A lot of hours out in the sun and I’m tired and sore and now I have to play nice with Ovi’s…whatever the hell she is.”

“If you play nice for me, I will play nice for you. Later. When all of the kids are asleep.”

He smirks. “Are you trying to bribe me?”

“I don’t know. Does bribery work on you?”

“You’ve used it before on me and it’s worked,” he points out. “You really do have all the power. You know exactly how to get what you want.”

“Oh baby, you don’t know the full extent of my power,” she teases, and kisses him, her fingers combing through his hair, nails digging lightly into his scalp and dragging all the way down to the nape of his neck. “Are you okay? You seem a little…I don’t know…on edge.”

“I’m fine. It was just a really long day. I’m tired, I stink…”

“I like your stink,” she nestles her face into the side of his neck. “…and it’s not a stink. It’s just how you smell when you’ve been working hard. It’s…you.”

“Fuck you’re weird.”

“But you love me.”

“Yeah,” he rubs her back. “I do. For some goddamn reason.”

“Did it go that bad today? At your dad’s? I thought you would have said something when you first got home, and I didn’t want to pressure you into talking about.”

“Things went fine. We got everything done we needed to.”

“That’s not what I’m asking, and you know it. Did you actually talk to him?”

Tyler nods.

“And? How bad is he? The dementia?”

“Well he told his nurse that I was his brother who died twenty years ago if that’s telling you anything.”

“I’m sorry, baby,” she nuzzles her nose against his neck and softly strokes the hair at the back of his head. “I know we were told it was bad, but it’s still a blow to see it for yourself.”

“I felt nothing. When I saw him. When I talked to him. I didn’t feel sad, I didn’t feel pity, I didn’t feel regret. I felt nothing.” Fuck, it sounds horrible to his own ears. Has his own mental health actually come to this? That he’s become emotionally absent? That he just has nothing left to give anyone else? Is it really possible to be that empty inside and still be alive? “How fucked up is that? How fucked up am I? That I felt nothing? What the hell is wrong with me?”

“Nothing is wrong with you, Tyler. You don’t owe him anything. Not after everything he put you through. What he put your mother through. You have nothing but pain and bad memories because of him. You’re not fucked up. You’re just…hurt.”

“I didn’t even feel that. And I thought I would. Or that I’d be angry. And I wasn’t. I just sat there. I just sat there and talked to him and that was it.”

“What did you talk about? Just regular stuff or…?”

“A whole bunch of things. Us. The kids. He seemed happy that we named the baby after my mum. That I finally did something right with my life in his eyes.”

“You’ve done a lot right and you know. Just because he can’t see those things, doesn’t mean they never happened. You know what they are. I know what they are. That’s all that matters.”

He nods in agreement.

“And you can say you feel nothing, but I know you do. I know there’s a lot of anger there. And you have every right to feel that. I just don’t want it destroying you. You don’t have to hold that in, you know. It’s okay to be pissed off. You had a shitty childhood. He made your life hell. No one will judge you for being angry.”

“I just need to go in the gym and beat the shit out of the heavy bag for half an hour and I’ll be fine.”

“Then do it,” she encourages, pecking his lips before tousling his hair and sliding off his lap. “If that’s what will make you feel better.”

“Well there’s something else that would make feel even better than that, but we can’t do that yet, so…” he stands up and lays a hand on the side of her face, kissing her softly before drawing her into his arms once more; one hand on the back of her head, the other on the small of her back. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

He drops a kiss on the top of her head and squeezes her tightly. “Everything.”

#tyler rake #tyler rake fan fiction #tyler rake fan fic #best part of me #extraction #chris hemsworth character

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