#while listening to true trans soul rebel by against me!

[they-thespian666]

Wow rage is a really good motivator for making art

[our-transmasculine-experience]

I've been collecting queer songs for a while now and here are a bunch of trans(masc) ones I've found!

The Village by Wrabel

This is Home by Cavetown (I think literally every transmasc person knows this song but…)

Daughter by Ryan Cassata (Ryan himself has said not to listen to it if you have bad dysphoria, so proceed with caution!)

Build-A-Bear by Maggie Brewer (I love this one sm for no particular reason)

True Trans Soul Rebel by Against Me!

Masculinity by Lucky Love (I'm not 100% sure if this one's trans, I just read it as very much gay transmasc)

Also if anyone knows more I'd love to hear about them :3

(I also have a bunch of other queer songs if people are interested especially aspec ones for some reason–)

thanks for this!

[dummerjan]

a get to know you better meme

tagged by @zozobruh - Thank you! <333

do you make your bed? No. I do turn turn up the blanket so it can air out but that's it.

what's your favourite number? There's 3, and then 9, then 12, then 16 (but only because that's the day of the month I was born), then 21 (for non-SKAM reasons actually), then 27. 3 is the dominant theme. I like to do things in a set of three, but not compulsively. There's a bit of a system to and a whole story behind the numbers. I could go on a whole spiel. It also goes back to me playing around with words and syllables when I was around 8. I used to collect words with 9 letters.

what is your job? Don't have one.

If you could go back to school would you? What school? Elementary? No thanks. Also not secondary. Or night school. Regular school does not work for me, too autistic and the system too... well, a system. People are assholes, teachers included. Most of my schooling was done via distance learning and I definitely don't want to go back to that either. But also, I am attending school right now (vocational school) and I intend to further my education afterwards. I'd really like to learn how to properly draft and construct patterns and/or acquire the master craftsmen certificate in tailoring (or however you say meinen Meister machen).

can you parallel park? I don't have a license and I hope to make it through life without having to learn how to drive.

a job you had that would surprise people? None.

do you think aliens are real? Earth being the only inhabited place seems unlikely. Though I highly doubt they are how we have pictured alien life forms.

can you drive a manual car? If I did have a license, I'd be able to since that is the norm in Germany.

what's your guilty pleasure? I don't know... really bad smut? I have horrendous taste in that, I really do.

tattoos? I love them on other people, from a single or a few to lots of skin being covered, and all kinds of styles. But I don't have any myself and I don't think I ever will. I just couldn't be bothered. Way too indecisive and uncertain to decide on a design, and then the work put into researching which artists are the best, nevermind that I am scared of needles. And then afterwards it won't look exactly how I pictured it, especially after a few years or even decades. Oh, and the price! I do admire them on other people but I just don't think it's for me, too much hassle and not enough passion for it. (But if I would get tattos, I suspect I would get an Against Me! quote tattooed. Something from True Trans Soul Rebel. And an AJJ one.)

favourite colour? Dark blue.

favourite type of music? *panicked screaming* I listen to way too many artists (or sometimes just a single song) from all over the world and from all kinds of genres. And while there are genres I really like, I rarely will listen to more than a few representatives. But I can say that right now I really enjoy late Soviet/90s Siberian punk (Yanka Dyagileva and Egor Letov).

do you like puzzles? Yep. I don't know who but someone on tumblr got me into online puzzles last summer. (They did a Jeff puzzle.) I like those.

any phobias? No proper phobias.

favourite childhood sport? I didn't really do sports. In fact I hated sports, still do. Worst of all was school sports class, I had a stomach ache every the evening before. But my family was active and we regularly went swimming, rock climbing, hiking. I did horseback riding for several years but it was therapeutic.

do you talk to yourself? In my mind yes, but rarely out loud.

what movie(s) do you adore? I adore Latin American movies though I can't say I have seen too many. (Quemar las naves, María, llena eres de gracia and El cielo dividido are my favourites.) I enjoy Nordic comedies, not just with Mads Mikkelsen but I really do like those. (The last one I watched was Riders of Justice though I really wouldn't classify it as comedy. It has comedic elements.) I like movies with open, ambiguous endings, ones that leave you a bit unsatisfied, ruminating, on edge. When they linger. I don't like it when movies make it easy for me. And above all else I adore Astrid Lindgren movies. I feel like so many conversations I have lead to me mentioning how much I love them but it's true. I really, really do.

coffee or tea? I don't (can't?) drink coffie and when I drink tea, then not black (or any other proper tea) but herbal and spiced tea.

first thing you wanted to be growing up? I think a teacher? I adored and really looked up to my elementary school teacher. I loved German and correcting texts so I wanted to be like her.

tagging @lady-guts @thestrangeillusion @toppingjeffsatur @scattered-stardust @sitron-sunni @die-schwanenkoenigin

[beyond-a-name]

Top five music albums of the 2010's :3

Oh god I have to actually think about what came out in the 2010s. Uhhhhhhhhhh

1. Tranquility Base Hotel and Casino by The Arctic Monkeys: This is one of the first times I really excitedly bought an album and listened to it as a cohesive artistic piece, rather than just as background music or something I got with family. It is one of the few albums I let take up the very limited storage on my phone, and it is the first album I was interested in enough to research its meaning and concept. 10/10

(Uhhh okay I gotta go look up some other albums I'll be back.) [Exit stage right]

[Some time passes.]

Okay I'm back and I have reviewed albums.

2. Unearthing the Sentience by Beyond Flesh: So first off, I discovered this album this year through a friend of mine, and I absolutely love it. It's a technical death metal producer duo that released this and another album (the other one came out in 2020 and so doesn't count for this :/). It is entirely instrumental, but each song is so distinct. It'll introduce a concept, put a few spins on it, then tie it all together in a beautiful conclusion. The songwriting methodology honestly reminds me of Super Mario level design (as laid out by GMTK on youtube) in its expressive focus. Half of the duo, Juan Carlos Hernández, has genuinely become one of my favourite artists of all time. I have not yet had the pleasure of exploring his whole discography, but what I have thus far listened to has been extraordinary. Every piece is an imaginative journey that I delight in being swept up in. If you want to enrich your musical tastes a little more, you can find more of his work spread out across a few different bandcamps (his dungeon synth/ambience/fantasy works, his doom metal project, and his other works) or check out the occasional work posted to his tumblr at @imsobadatnicknames2. The works are entirely prolific and delightful, and this album in particular has been one of few that's started me getting into more metal. 11/10

3. Transgender Dysphoria Blues by Against Me: I also found this one this year, and it was recommended through another friend. Amazing punk music about being trans (and other topics, of course). I had shown great interest in punk culture and aesthetic approaches, but this was a really good deliberate foray into the music itself that resonated with me personally (I'm a trains). The album was released after the singer and frontwoman came out as a trans woman, and it heavily centres her experience in doing so in a way that is really provocative and heartfelt. Some of the songs seem, I guess the word is insecure? In a way I don't really resonate with, but I guess that's the point, isn't it? The first two songs, Transgender Dysphoria Blues and True Trans Soul Rebel, have been permanently etched into my heart. I also really like Paralytic States. Really good to listen to as a full album. 10/10

4. Morning Coffee Chillhop Lo Fi Electronic Mix by Various Artists: "But wait!" I hear you exclaim. "That's not an album, it's just a youtube lofi mix!" Yes. Anyway, this mix has been my absolute favourite since I first heard it, and it really kickstarted my exploration of lofi. Like before this I was checking it out, but upon hearing this, I was well and truly hooked. The first song overlays audio from a tv scene (I think it's twin peaks?) about rewarding yourself every day, ("Every day, give yourself a present,") and it's a lovely sentiment to begin an album a mix on. the use of additional audio throughout is typical for lofi, but it is used to great effect here to elevate the music it's played over rather than obscure it while rendering each song distinct. It was also the first time (or at least most memorable time) I heard something like that. I do not know the name of a single song on this mix, and if I ever lose access to it, I will kill everyone within a five kilometer radius. 10/10

5. Starbomb's Self-Titled Debut Album: This is a comedy album around video games composed of several Game Grumps members, and I bought it as a teenager and listened to it front to back maybe more times than I got a good night's sleep. I'm not really into Game Grumps anymore, and now I kind of tend to skip NSP (other Game Grumps-adjacent band) when it comes up on older playlists of mine. But like, I couldn't un-memorize this thing even if I wanted to, and it is somehow one of like 6 albums still on my phone (Tranquility Base was unwittingly bought on Google Play Music and did not outlast its end) even since getting a new phone. Even the Caravan Palace album, while it's still on my device, didn't soundtrack my teenagedom nearly as pervasively, and it does not stand out as much as the other entries here (you should still listen though). I can sing along flawlessly to every track, and it is lovingly catalogued by that dorky teenager I carry in me as I keep growing through adulthood. It's my alarms sometimes. I want to rate it lower, but I have loved it too entirely for too long. 10/10

Surprise Bonus Play!!!!!!!! (Woa!) (Honourable Mention)

6. Greatest Hits, Vol. 1 by The Flaming Lips: This one is maybe cheating a bit as it's a greatest hits album, but whatever. I initially bought this on impulse as a gift for a friend for his birthday (I bought myself one as well), and I fell in love with how silly the song names and premises were. We all loved it, and had a blast listening to it via his playstation, then later in the car when we went camping together. I genuinely did not realize that it might be a somewhat well-known band before I saw the inclusion of one of their songs in the game Hi-Fi Rush. (Hint: They are very well-known. They have many awards and a long history. Their discography has its own wikipedia article seperate from their main article. I didn't know any of this until I came to wrote this.) I especially like "She Don't Use Jelly," which aside from being very funny, also implies a delicious toast recipe which I wholeheartedly recommend everybody try. 10/10

[autistic-katara]

I HAVE MORE OC QUESTIONS!

what fandoms would your ocs be a part of

what songs would they like

what are their favourite animals

srry for answering this so late TwT (its actually like the perfect question i just didnt wanna answer it wrong also giving them favourite singers/bands instead of songs cause idk which songs to do)

Catriona:

rlly likes Stranger Things (relates to both Mike and Jonathan a lot, Elmax/Elumax is her otp), quite likes the Spiderverse movies and Good Omens too.

listens to the Smiths religiously

cats :3 (yes ik 😭)

Ella:

she’ll obsess over any mildly queer kids cartoon but her top 3 r Infinity Train, Adventure Time, and The Owl House.

cavetown and girl in red r her favs

loves bugs c:

Liam:

also really into Stranger Things (it was one of the things him and Catriona bonded over past “we both gay, traumatised, autistic, and homeless // Byler shipper thru and thru).

diehard Noahfinnce fan, loves Green Day too

professional dinosaur enthusiast

Faizan:

pjo kid, relates to Nico and Alex on a spiritual level (likes atla aswell).

rlly likes The Front Bottoms, McCafferty, Everybody’s Worried About Owen, and Ewy

fish :D

Lola:

massive anime fan, loves bsd (i havent watched like any other anime so u can headcanon the rest of their favs if u want-).

got hooked on Noahfinnce’s music by Liam, rlly likes Against Me!

she loves dogs :]

Sasha:

also really into toh and the Spiderverse movies (relates to Amity and Gwen pretty hard).

loves mcr (also ik i said i was doing artists not songs but i associate him a lot with True Trans Soul Rebel by Against Me!)

would actually kill someone for a pet snake (me fr)

oh also they all cried while watching Nimona

[mariautistic]

i tried to listen to against me! a while back and didnt rly click but i listened to an accoustic live version of true trans soul rebel and it fucking broke me so i might give it another shot

[mokutone]

sai for the ask game!

HOO HOO! my little guy!

answers under the cut! honestly i think this is the best sai ive ever drawn.

favorite thing about them — LMFAO he was my favorite character and the only character i actually liked when i was like. 14 or whatever, my favorite thing was his crop top :)

least favorite thing about them — sai, please learn to talk about something other than peoples bodies to insult them. stop talking about dicks. stop talking about weight. stop calling people ugly. im begging you to just. stop that. ohhhh it kils me.

favorite line —ok so after he introduces himself to sasuke and sasuke tells him to get lost he says, sai, thoughtfully: "Even when I force myself to smile, it seems I'm the kind of person who ends up being hated." sai, smiling: And Naruto-kun didn't seem to care for me the whole time, too."

brOTP — MMM. sakura. he learns the most from her i think, and despite being on the recieving end of most of his insults she also kind of puts up with him the most and the easiest. i think she probably fascinates sai a little bit.

OTP —i don't rlly care about this kind of thing. his canon ship w/ ino is fine ig, but i also think the concept of sakuinosai is really funny. it would not be a full triangle i think, just both sai and sakura loving ino. i bet the arguments would be hysterical, in that house.

nOTP —again, i don't really care about this sort of thing.

random headcanon —i think he wears really large and body-covering clothes when hes in konoha as a kind of visual for like, feeling uncomfortable and out of place. his clothes don't fit him and he doesn't feel like he fits the place. good luck sai keep trying!

unpopular opinion — i don't think his being rude to people is 100% accidental. its a very popular interpretation that he just straight up fully does not understand that he's being rude + idk if i believe that because he makes the same rude comments over and over and gets the same reaction, and while he's not very good at understanding peoples feelings, we know he can identify anger and frustration. i just see him as such a fundamentally furious character. i dont know how to explain this to people, he seems so mad to me!

song i associate with them —related to the anger thing, Black Me Out by Against Me!, very obviously a song about reclaiming oneself from somebody who had a heinous amount of power over the narrator. the album cover does have like. a breast on it and a cube of meat, so i guess cw on it for clicking that. i love against me! a lot.

"I don't ever want to talk that way again, I don't want to know people like that anymore. As if there was an obligation, As if I owed you something. Black me out. I want to piss on the walls of your house, I want to chop those brass rings off your fat fucking fingers. As if you were a kingmaker. Black me out."

and then

"All the young graves filled. Don't the best stars burn out so bright and so fast? All the young graves filled. Don't the best stars burn out so bright and so fast? Full-body high. I'm never coming down. Black me out."

favorite picture of them

good picture all around. at once he simultaneously looks like hes fucking. awaiting execution or something, and also, thru the only face shown being that of the beast behind him, which he painted (and due to both of these circumstances, carries the implication that it represents his internal state), absolutely ready to tear somebody's throat out. this is the vibe for me. this is the sai vibe.

[picnokinesis]

This is entirely self indulgent, but in short: I went to a wedding recently, and I wore this awesome waistcoat and bow tie, and I took a photo with a friend, and someone said "It looks like the promo photo for the next Doctor and companion!". I then showed the photo another friend (and Doctor Who fan) who said I was ‘definitely the sort of person who would ramble excitedly about alien cultures', and then asked if they had the right aesthetic to be companion. I said heck yes and then we got excited at the prospect of having a genderfluid doctor using they/them pronouns and an agender companion also using they/them pronouns, and then I was like 'I'll draw us!!!' and they said 'If you draw something, I'll write something'. So here I am, holding up my end of the deal. 

[aropride]

being fourteen and reading symptoms of being human while listening to true trans soul rebel by against me! and eyeing the ace bandages in your drawer a little too frequently and wearing your hair in a bun tucked into a beanie and hiding a my chemical romance shirt from your parents. y'know?

[quillsink]

This was my first year as myself. As Aryan and not my deadname. The first year I started knowing Im trans.

I stood outside on the balcony and I wore one of my fav hoodies and jeans and my reflection looked like....me. Myself. And one day I’ll be able to be myself openly and not only during a stolen fifteen minutes when my parents aren’t looking. One day. When I turn eighteen and I can get the hell out of here.

And before the countdown I promised to the stars that it is going to be okay. That I will make it through this. That I made it through 2021 even though it was absolute hell and I don’t know how I’m still here but I am i am i am and I am alive. 

2021 was absolute hell for me. Dealing with internalised homophobia and transphobia and accepting that I’m bi and trans and that that was going to change my life and the way the world and my family and friends viewed me for forever. And I came to terms with it. And dealing with dysphoria so bad I can’t even look at myself in the mirror anymore and I feel like I’m watching someone else live my life. And I made it and I know who I am. And dealing with depression and OCD and school and stress so bad I would cry for hours on end because I didn’t think I could keep going. And I made it. And my parents making everything hell for me and the nights they made me stay up while they yelled at me and I cried and I made it in spite of them.

And I’m here. I’m still here. 

If I could make it through 2021 I can make it through the next few years til I can graduate and get the fuck out of here.

And I promised that even though it might be hell for me I will be kind and I will be filled with love. I will be kind and I will be filled with love. And I am going to make it through this with the stars as my guide. My name is Aryan. I am transgender. It is going to be okay.

And I counted down from ten to one and with headphones in and hit play, and the song started playing. True Trans Soul Rebel by Against Me!, which got me through some really hard times.

And I watched the stars twinkle in the sky and listened to the lyrics does god bless your transsexual heart? true trans soul rebel and I promised that I am going to make it out okay. I am going to make it out of here alive. I don’t know how but I’m gonna get through the next few years. Somehow. 

I am going to make it out alive.

[normal-thoughts-official]

what kind of music do you think raphael enjoys? i have a feeling he might have a soft spot for old mexican love songs, like 'all recordings of this classic are scratchy and weird' old. also any other headcanons are welcome as well because i love raphael

me, has just finished listening to limón y sal and thinking about raphael and getting emo: hm

DON'T @ ME OK yes it's a more recent song and i don't think he would actually know it but it's totally the kind of song that i feel if someone sang to raphael would make him cry. especially cuz it's kind of an autistic mood i think ask me about it and just hhhhhhhh. while i think that raphael wouldn't really know more recent/modern music, i feel like it Vibes with the kind of music he would like to listen to, ya feel? i think raphael likes that kind of soothing, but still overall happy/sweet music

i don't have any particular artists or songs in mind but i totally agree that raphael loves himself some old mexican love songs and old latin american love songs in general. also he's totally the kind of ass who listens to That And Only That and refuses to listen to anything in any other style because it's not authentic or somethin. also it's just like. soothing, you know? something from his time and that he knows and in his language. he keeps it as close to his chest as possible. when he had just been Turned and couldn't see his family, couldn't eat, couldn't go out in the light... he listened to those. haha i'm fine

and you know with him being autistic he'd need something like... steady/repetitive to keep himself tethered even more than usual, with all the change, singing and listening to the songs he likes is a way to keep himself steady..... aaa

but ALSO he's not really a snob i don't think, he's just like, uninterested in other kinds ya feel dajdsoaijda he's very Loyal to his music. other than his "samesongs" he basically listens to everything simon has ever written, and everything simon, maia, meliorn, and magnus ever showed him. they are not his favorite kinds but he listens to them and it feels like them, you know? so he likes it cuz my boy is soft as shit

but also i'm cracking up because he likes those soothing soft songs... and maia listens to a lot of punk diahdsaidhsa. i mean i think she's pretty eclectic and will listen to any genre but she IS a punk fan (and also metal to some degree, i like to hc) and the first time he listens to it he's like ???????? but he likes it

thinking about maia showing him against me!..... true trans soul rebel.... hhhh

also it's cute cuz then you will catch raphael listening to someone screaming about overthrowing the government or whatever and he's got that big sappy smile on his face cuz he's thinking about maia. but overall he doesn't listen to it a lot cuz ouchie many noise

ALSO he memorizes lyrics pretty easy so you can catch him singing to any song he's ever been shown in its entirety under his breath sometimes. sometimes simon will show him a song that's still in the works and he'll hear raphael singing it softly to himself as he does Everything He Needs To Do and it's sweet and makes his chest flutter and shit but also he's kinda embarrassed like "it's on the works!!! these are unfinished lyrics! they don't sound good" but raphael refuses to stop both because he's an ass and because he just really likes it when simon shows him his stuff

ALSO magnus ends up knowing a lot of sappy old mexican songs because of him. he fucking sucks at lyrics but he'll hum them from time to time and smile to himself cuz it reminds him of his boy. and whenever raphael hears it he feels so... at home. sometimes he'll sing while magnus hums the tune and it's like an impromptu music session. sometimes they'll dance. sometimes just do their thing while "singing" together. it's sweet

ALSO he really likes seelie songs. he was definitely the first partner meliorn ever brought to the seelie realm (izzy's a shadowhunter, simon and maia have bad history with the place and also they get with them later) and he sometimes participates in festivals and dances and the sort, and he loves it a lot, even if he can't fully participate cuz of limitations and the fact that he doesn't have magic (which is def a part of their customs since you know, all seelies have it) and akk

in short i am soft

[tehesunnysbright]

Random ask of the day: What’s a song that makes you cry every time you listen to it and what’s a song that instantly makes you happy everyone you listen to it?

omg ahhhhhhhhh

so the thing is i don’t really cry while listening to songs ... so there’s no song i give

and a song that instantly makes me happy would be

ahhh there’s so many

ummm touched by an angel - boys world

bored - thomas headon, lizzy mcalpine

fearless (taylor’s version) - taylor swift

true trans soul rebel - against me!

oldest teenager - lexi jayde

and so many more !

[maiaphaelsource]

I was the anon who sent you the trans Raphael headcanons ask on your other blog, do you have any more? With some trans Maia thrown in too🥺 like Magnus being the best trans dad to his son and the love of his sons life and being supportive and loving. Raphael kissing Maia on the forehead and telling her how beautiful she is, you know? Cute shit like that

yes!!! hello!!! i hope you know i love you and you're my favorite person in the world!! thank you so much for this ask!

okay so i’ll begin with the specifics... magnus is absolutely THE trans dad to both of them. not only with practical stuff like offering to help them with glamours, magical transitioning, stuff like that, but just... being so supportive and understanding. he’s always there, and he has so many stories to share, so many people he’s met who had happy lives. he was there for stonewall, he’s met Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera, and it’s just so heartwarming for the both of them to talk to him about that, you know? that feeling of not being alone in history, of knowing that there are and were other people like you, that you’ve always existed.... it’s just great

also in maia’s case since she also lives a partially mundane life he just solves all her documentation problems like deadname? gone forever. no registers. you’re welcome. the first time maia sees her document with her name she almost cries and she throws herself in magnus’ arms and magnus is so touched and moved and shocked you know? like the gratitude and the affection and she’s just thanking him and he’s so moved and raphael just watches with a little smile in his face because he knows that magnus is moved by the display, even if he won’t say it. and maybe he tells magnus that later? like, “your kindness means more to others than you imagine,” and of course magnus isn’t important just because he’s kind but he’s used to not being recognized for his services (ahem especially by CERTAIN people) and it’s nice to see that being appreciated, you know?

plus, maia makes it a point to pay him and magnus is all like “i couldn’t possibly take payment for something like that. it’s the least you deserve” so instead maia teaches him her secret sangria recipe. magnus is super pleased but he also jokes that now he has one less excuse for inviting them over. and raphael goes, super seriously, “you never need an excuse” and magnus just melts 

raphael kissing her forehead! yes! tbh i think they both love forehead kisses (as well as hand kisses and shoulder kisses) and sometimes when she’s feeling dysphoric or upset for any reason she likes just... lying down on raphael’s chest and letting him pet her hair and kiss her forehead and tell her that it’s alright, bella, te quiero

and YES he just makes it a point to talk about how beautiful she is constantly and kiss down her whole body (not sexually of course, just sweetly?) and she giggles and it’s fun :’) sometimes things get to her, especially after jordan’s constant transphobic/racist rethoric, and it’s nice that raphael always makes it a point to tell her she’s beautiful and amazing and he loves her. and he always does it in such a matter of fact way, but also intense, you know? he has her close and he says shit like “you’re the most beautiful woman i’ve ever met” and she melts

as for general headcanons!

maia figured out she was trans relatively early in life, and it’s the reason she always knew she’d have to run away from her parents’ house. she was basically only planning until she had enough to be able to survive without them. but also, jordan and wanting to be able to “be with her already” rushed her out of home when she was finishing high school 

raphael and maia are absolutely willing to throw down for each other if someone’s transphobic and that’s that on that. someone being transphobic to raphael? fine, he can handle his own, he’ll end them with his words and do it with a pleasant smile. someone being transphobic to maia? they’ll be met with the usual cutting sarcasm until they back down. but if the other catches you doing that? you’ll be thrown against the wall and threatened/punched in the face so fast you won’t even know what the fuck happened 

a lot of baby trans downworlders start coming to them! they’re already an iconic couple for many reasons, what with being a werewolf/vampire couple, a black/latino couple (we need more black/latino couples okay! desperately! and black/native and native/latino too! i want more poc solidarity and romance!), and an iconique trans couple. people just feel comfortable going to them because they’ve brought so much change and are so accepting you know? 

it still surprises raphael, even after years on end, that so many people come to him for help with that. he never thought that he would be seen as the kind of person people can go to, and yet here he is. after being told for most of his life that he was cold/unfeeling/threatening/weird... it’s nice to be valued like that, to be seen as someone who can be soft and provide comfort and love, too

same goes for maia, who’s also used to be seen as agressive/violent for just defending herself and her people, and just generally reduced to being a “threat”. it’s nice to know that many, many people see her as someone they can look up to, and who they feel safe it

that is not to say obviously that they just love doing emotional labor for other people but like... having other trans downworlders, especially trans downworlders of color, come to them, feels nice. especially people who are trying to figure themselves out and approach them with so much hope and admiration in their eyes you know? the way they always come with a “sorry to bother, but..” ready in their lips and look at them like they are heroes... it’s really something

taki’s slowly becomes a place for trans downworlders to hang out, especially those who don’t enjoy clubs and stuff like pandemonium (which is totally a queer club as well bite me. including for mundanes. with taki’s that’s trickier of course since they have like, blood on their menu lmao but a few trans minors have hung out there and it was cool) for whatever reason. it’s just a cool queer-inclusive space for people who want to hang out, you know? and they love that

the first time maia saw raphael lose his cool was when a shadowhunter made a gross comment about how it’s lucky he didn’t want sex, so she wouldn’t have to deal with that. he almost tore their throat off

raphael just.... loves maia’s shoulders. she was a little self conscious of them, she always made a point to have them covered, but raphael just loves peppering kisses on her shoulders and making her chuckle 

magnus gives maia a bunch of fashion tips similar to the ones he gave raphael, just how to better protect herself and figure out how people are reading her gender and stuff like that, you know?

they do the thing where they show each other pre-transition pics (once they’re comfortable with that of course) just to hear each other be like “*outraged gasp* i don’t recognize you at all” and “oh, look how much happier you are now”, and my personal favorite, “i can’t see a boy/girl in there, i just can’t” (like personally whenever i see pictures of my partners/friends pre-transition i’m just like... i realize this is pre-transition and that you’ve changed a lot but also i’m unable to see an [assigned gender] in this photo). it’s all like “how did people not notice you were a girl? unbelievable” you know. just that sweet sweet trans couple validation ritual

together they have like. all the insufferable pun-happy sexualities (bi[romantic], pan, ace, trans) and you will be hit with those constantly in conversation if you’re a friend of them. raphael in particular greatly enjoys making those puns with the most blase, straight face as he looks straight into your eyes and watches as your soul slowly leaves your body. magnus is so proud and also afraid he created a monster

raphael is that bitch who’s like. “i heard that broccoli has a substance that’s similar to testosterone so i’m now eating 5 bowls of it” and maia wants to tear her hair out because it doesn’t work like that and he’s like “can’t hurt to try. also i’m finally able to eat let me have this” 

maia never got to like... celebrate those small transition moments because she was all alone and felt like she was transitioning in such a rush, you know? and raphael makes it a point to point out the small changes that are still going on with her body, to take her shopping and encourage her to be as giddy about it as she wants to, you know? and it’s nice and fun and he also gets to relive those small gender reaffirming moments and it’s really nice

maia is a huge against me fan!!! like not to project but it’s just... their songs are so great and relatable even when they’re not about being trans at all and laura jane grace’s voice is so beautiful and maia for sure absolutely loves punk, so like. it’s one of her fave bands for sure

she liked them since before laura came out and when she did it was like. oh. oh. so that’s why i always related so hard to her songs. it just... makes sense

while punk is not as much raphael’s style he likes true trans rebel, especially the acoustic version, where her voice just sounds mwaaahhh imo and he can listen to the recording for hours because her voice in there is just... sensorial heaven and maia feels all giddy that raphael genuinely loves a trans woman’s voice so much 

raphael always makes a point to say that he loves her voice just as much, too :)

they are just very trans and really love each other the end

[rustybutterknife]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT YOUR TRANS LYDIA HEADCANNONS PLEASE IM CRYINF

I’M FUCKIN HAPPY FLAPPING AND SHAKING IN EXCITEMENT HERE WE GO!!

Okay so I’ve said this before in a previous post but her full name is Lydia Jane Grace Deetz (middles names come from the lead singer of against me!)

She came out when she was about 12, to which Emily gladly welcomed her daughter with open arms. Charles was a bit hesitant at first, but soon followed after.

She went on E when she was about 14, and got her name legally changed a few days before her 15th birthday as an early birthday gift.

Emily very much bought her pride stuff before she passed. ( “A button for my button? Some pride for my pride and joy?” ;w; )

Her hair is her pride and joy, since she spent so long trying to grow it out. After her mom died. Chop. Small bob.

She’s not too open about it, but she has a trans flag under the lesbian flag pinned above her bed.

Her favorite outfit for Dysphoria days (trans people, you know the outfit) is these high waisted navy blue sailor shorts, fishnets, combat boots, and this black crop top hoodie with checkered sleeves.

On bad Dysphoria days, she’ll blast Against me!’s Transgender Dysphoria blues and True Trans Soul Rebel on repeat.

(Transgender Dysphoria Blues hits too close to home because bullies are some mean mother fuckers...)

( BJ once saw her singing along angrily because 1, it slaps. But 2, it feels good to get all the feels out. But the fact that she related to the song? That shit hurted. )

(If you wanna listen to the song, be aware that they say the F-slur multiple times.)

She loves hair clips because they make her feel more feminine

Also! Skirts and dresses? Fuck yeah! Euphoria!!

When she came out to the household, they all bought “I love my trans daughter” shirts. Except for BJ, he bought a “I love my trans niece” shirt. She cried.

They’re trans mlm/wlw solidarity!!

She has an old photo book of her pre-transition photos that she’ll look at on good Dysphoria days. (Euphoria? Dysphoria?)

Her favorite one is her at around 5 or 6, wearing a little purple tutu over her normal clothes, a puppy shirt and pale brown khaki shorts, with hello kitty sneakers and fairy wings with a heart shaped plastic dollar store wand in her hand. She has mini pigtails in her hair, and she has a big smile on her face.

Her and BJ will share pre-transition photos occasionally.

One time, Charles deadnamed her while drunk and BJ almost squared up with him.

It took Lydia and the Maitlands to convince him not to just sock him in the jaw for it.

BJ can and will square up with anyone for Lydia.

The girl loves makeup!! She’s great at it, and it makes her so euphoric!

She’ll sometimes practice on Hazel (her girlfriend! I’ve mentioned her in a couple of posts!), and they’re usually both covered in lipstick by the end of it :3c

She loves lipgloss because they make her lips look more plump, and “heheh, shiny...”

But yeah!! She’s trans!!

[carbootsoul]

wlw/nblw musician recs:

(their names are links that should go to their spotify pages, i do not have a firm grasp on music genres but most of these are in the realm of indie/pop/punk/folk, unless otherwise specified orientation/pronouns refer to lead singer, starred ones are my favorites)

★- LP (laura pergolizzi)- lesbian and gnc. indie/pop/rock. she/her but she says that she doesn’t really care. her voice is so weird but it sounds really cool and she covered halo by beyonce here and u know what? im just gonna say it. she’s really fucking hot. songs to listen to: when we’re high, no witness, girls go wild

lovers- wlw folk pop band. all three members use she/her. very soft. i listen to them while i do my homework. songs to listen to: modern art museum of the modern kiss goodbye, oh yeah

★- ezra furman- pan/bi and trans*. pop punk? just pop? art rock? she/him. ezra furman is actually one of my all-time favorite singers. his album transangelic exodus is just what it sounds like: a queer road trip with ur angel boyfriend, running from the authorities. songs to listen to: suck the blood from my wound, love you so bad, i wanna be your girlfriend

against me! (laura jane grace)- trans wlw. punk. she/her. my DAD listens to against me! but i thought they deserved to be on here. a classic. once i heard them on wtnv and i almost cried. songs to listen to: i was a teenage anarchist, true trans soul rebel, piss and vinegar

brandi carlile- gay. folk rock. she/her. again, my dad listens to her. actually when i came out he gave me one of her albums! she was nominated for a bunch of grammies and her music is generally pretty sweet. songs to listen to: mainstream kid, i belong to you

A.W. (john-allison weiss)- nb. indie pop. they/them. pretty cool?? this is the kinda music u put on mixtapes. songs to listen to: one way love

syd- lesbian. hip-hop/alt r&b. she/her. she has one solo album and is in the band the internet. songs to listen to: got her own, body

★- be steadwell- queer. r&b/pop. she/her. actually so cool tho!! her song ‘gay sex’ is actually my favorite ever. u can watch a studio version of her song ‘witch’ here. all her music is really queer and really sweet and if any of u make a playlist for ur boo without a song by her on it i will hunt u down and steal ur eyes. songs to listen to: witch, gay sex, black girls who can’t dance

left at london (nat puff)- trans lesbian. pop. she/her. i think she did vines a long time ago?? she’s the “haha i do that” girl don’t misgender her or i’ll steal ur eyes. also, follow her on twitter. songs to listen to: revolution lover, i don’t trust u anymore

★- the regrettes- literally don’t know if anyone in this band is gay. punk. the lead uses she/her pronouns. okay so i can’t find anything about anyone in the band’s sexuality but like… ‘california friend’ is a gay anthem. idk how u could interpret it heterosexually. they’re also super feminist so there’s that! songs to listen to: california friends, picture perfect, seashore

★- mal blum- pan and nb. folk punk. they/them. i saw them perform for wtnv live and it changed my actual life. a lot of their songs are about their struggle w depression but they’re also super catchy. songs to listen to: literally all of them but especially: san cristobal, the bodies the zombies!, odds, i don’t want to

mary lambert- lesbian. pop. she/her. her music is alternatingly really soft and like… heart wrenching. i don’t listen to her anymore but wow. she has some spoken word stuff too! songs to listen to: sum of our parts (alternative version [i mean they’re both good but i like the alt better]), lay your head down, know your name

whether ur making a playlist for a girl and u want to very subtly hint that ur gay or if u just want to listen to a song called “gay sex” (i’m SERIOUS go listen to it now), i hope this was helpful! feel free to add on (especially bi/pan women! i didn’t realize how few i listened to until i made this list.. :/)

[ceasarslegion]

They say that smell is the best memory trigger, but I actually stim through audio, so I tend to strongly associate certain songs with memory, usually because I listened to it a lot at certain intervals. 8tracks got taken down, and I’m not paying for Spotify, so I guess I’m posting my list and the explanations here. It’s like my life in music! I’m gonna do 5 for now, and build up more later.

1. Give Up the Grudge: I used to live with my grandparents, my parents, and my uncle all in the same house. My parents had me really young, because I was a product of accidental teen pregnancy, so my uncle’s only 10 years older than me. He gave me all his old pop punk CDs when he was around 17, and this was the first song on the first CD I listened to, uncensored. It was so scandalous to me at the time, I loved it, and the fact that it got me in trouble only made me love it more. Thus why punk’s been the one constant in my absolutely outrageous music taste.

2. Teenage Dirtbag: oooh, this one’s special. This was my high school anthem, basically. My friends and I listened to it constantly, were always singing it together, everything. Road trips to Muscat were serenaded by Wheatus-fueled carpool karaoke. Camping trips in the desert got us noise complaints from the local farmers from us howling it at the top of our lungs. This is the warm Abu Dhabi breeze during night walks in Yas Park and the revving of motorcycle engines while we sped down to the corniche to eat ice cream on the beach; the scratchy fabric of our school uniforms, the smell of the practice rooms outside the band classroom I would jam in at lunch, the way the drama studio echoed a little too much, the announcement that I won the student council presidency in the 12th grade, and games of frisbee in the main courtyard that would get us yelled at by the guard because we were supposed to be going to class. This one’s special.

3. Mr. Brightside: I worked really shitty hours after high school. I had a full-time job writing the film column at a local pop culture magazine where I saved up for misc. uni expenses like food and rent, and by night I did musical theatre with a local cast dedicated to bringing the Broadway experience to the Middle East. On top of that, it was an hour’s commute into the city by bus because of how shitty the public transit is there. In short, I left home at 7am, and didn’t come back until 10pm if we didn’t go out after rehearsal. 17-19 year-old me slept on the bus and was fueled by red bull and ambition. But for some reason I always listened to Mr. Brightside when night fell and I watched the city lights go by, and there’d be maybe 3 people on that bus by that time of night. It was calm, serene, and if you’ve ever seen the Abu Dhabi skyline at night, it’s very calming. Mr. Brightside reminds me of that feeling. Even my nose feels wet because of how humid it is over there.

4. True Trans Soul Rebel: I mean, there was a dark side to it. It’s illegal to be LGBT+ there, and punishable by death on the books. Imagine what it’s like growing up there as a trans man who knows he might be killed and his family deported if he gives any indication. They monitor what you do online and track everything you say, so I had no one, and nothing. Until I was listening to Welcome To Night Vale while napping in the sun at the community pool, and Cecil puts this on as the weather song. I immediately sat up, and hit the download button on my podcast app so I could have this. In all this darkness and bigotry and fear I was living in the thick of, I had an episode of Night Vale that aired this as the weather song, which was just enough of a buffer to keep me relatively safe from the government. It wasn’t much, but it was a rope to grasp onto that told me I had a future after all this when I felt like it was hopeless. I’ve done everything from sob into my pillow at night to this song to bop to it when it comes on now that I’m in a safe place where I can be myself.

5. I Was A Teenage Anarchist (CW for police brutality): It’s no secret that the geopolitics of the Middle East aren’t exactly... chill. And you can’t talk about politics there. You just don’t. If you say you don’t agree with the Sheikh or mention the word Qatar there, you can get thrown in jail for political dissidence. And me, I’m an aggressive person. I almost always choose fight if it’s fight or flight. God has cursed me with righteous fury and I’ve decided to make that the state’s problem. So growing up seeing what I saw in authoritarianism, when my political views developed, I flipped to anarchism. This song and its music video was actually the first I’d ever heard that term mentioned outside of a synonym for societal collapse, and the portrayals it gives here started making me question things, because it looked a lot like what policing did at home. It didn’t make me an anarchist, but it certainly handed me a chisel and sat me down in front of the wall of propaganda that had been built in my subconscious by the state. And when I did come here, I came with a vengeance. I run with Toronto Against Fascism, I go to as many rallies and political activism as I can, and, well... I’ve never seen the back of a cop. Extrapolate from that what you will.