#while being ableist af about personality disorders

[nikkoliferous]

your joint hater aka huntingbitches or pee pee has a screenshot of your face on her dashboard.

this account is supported by three bullies

yeah, I've seen the post. she posts a photo of me that's literally a solid decade old and somehow wants people to actually believe she's not obsessed with me and has not gone looking for any info about me. it's quite amusing, really. I guess it's rough when you can't decide whether you want to be perceived as creepy or reasonable. 🤷‍♀️

[violentviolette]

genuinely nothing i hate more these days than the word "supply"

"narcissists need supply" "npd is the need for supply" "how to get supply" "what to do when u have no supply" ect ect into infinity. it's so unbelievably ableist and othering and disingenuous and the more i see other ppl with npd adopting this language the worse and worse its getting

"supply" is not some unique need that only we have. it's validation. it's attention. it's acknowledgment. its feeling valued and wanted and seen. it's a human need that literally everyone on earth has and requires for healthy mental stability. it's why isolation is considered torture for humans. but calling it "supply" as a shorthand because u dont want to write out all those specific words is a horrendous decision that only adds to pathologizing ur entire self and worsening ur disorder

the reasons people with npd seek out that normal human need in unhealthy and maladaptive ways and cannot generate those feelings internally is what makes things different for us. abuse means we were never taught how to properly develop healthy feelings and skills surrounding those base needs because they were used against us and exploited in abusive ways. thats what makes the way we seek it out and our inability to cope with its lack disordered symptoms. but the thing we are seeking, the validation and attention and acknowledgement, is not some "other" thing that only narcissists need and needing those things at all is not what means u have npd. npd is not at all, in any way, "the need for supply" and to say so is being hugely ablest.

there's been this trend of taking ablest language and stigma's against us because narc abuse ppl have flooded the lexicon with these terms and so they're the most well known and putting positive language around it and just using it like it's fact devoid of any critical thought or nuance. u see it with supply, with malignant or covert and overt narcissism, narc rage, ect. like. this stuff is othering and ablist and stigmatizing af at best and flat out incorrect at worst. there is no way to meaningfully reclaim that language and use it to describe our experience

the push to use buzzword language and label every emotion had by a cluster b with a Moniker does absolutely nothing to actually help ppl with these disorders better understand and learn to cope with them and in fact is actively harmful and patholigizing. u stop engaging with the actual real specific things ur feeling because u stop naming them, u put distance between the uncomfortable truth and urself by slapping a title on it and not fully engaging with it. all the while othering urself and ur needs. ur now no longer just a person with specific needs ur a "narcissist who needs supply" which gets watered down and misunderstood until everyone has a different meaning of the words and u cant have a useful conversation about peoples problems and struggles and the support they need

people with cluster b disorders are normal people. we are human beings. the emotions we experience, even the disordered ones, are human emotions that everyone is capable of. our needs are normal human needs that everyone has. the specifics of them will be different, the exact how and when and why will be different. lots of it will be disordered and unhealthy and incorrect by nature and need to be reevaluated or relearned or adjusted. but the core base emotions and needs that we have are *normal and human*

[askomori]

Since mod is offering hot takes I’d like to know what in your opinion is most likely to be the actual ending. Not by what you’ve read on the internet but judging from your own thoughts and your own experiences with these kinds of feelings. Do you genuinely believe Sunny would head out to talk to his friends? Do you think it all would be enough to get him to confront his past? Or do you think he’s more so destined to stay locked up in his bedroom and his dreamworld?

LONG POST............... KEK

>Do you genuinely believe Sunny would head out to talk to his friends?

honestly, not until sunny starts healing from everything that happened. he didn’t leave the house for 4 years even though kel never stopped trying to check in on him. even if all his friends received the truth well and didn’t hold it against him, that severe habitual isolation doesn’t go away overnight. maladapted coping mechanisms that arise from ptsd, especially ones that overtake your personality, take a tremendous amount of willpower to overcome. he would need years of working through the trauma in therapy.

he wasn’t ever a sociable kid, he was sort of awkward and uncomfortable around other people. mari was the one who helped him make friends, and you can see throughout the photo albums that he got more comfortable around them. its terrible that she had to die in that way because not only is mari not there to support him anymore, but the guilt is driving him into total isolation.

because i understand him well, i can identify that a lot of this is explained by schizoid personality disorder. (one thing this criteria list i attached below doesn’t explain well is the description “desires” nor “enjoys”. the misconception comes from, by nature of the disorder, being unresponsive to therapists, and often they may outright say they don’t want relationships because they’ve given up. it definitely presents that way though, and sunny definitely presents that way, with dropping out of school and not responding to kel’s attempts to help him.

i needed to clear this up because otherwise id get a bunch of people who don’t understand the disorder going “but he had friends when he was younger!”) 

^the criteria for reference. (more on szpd if you’re interested: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK559234/). 

(authors note: i love the flat affect representation because i never see that in media) (another side note: i love the juxtaposition of sunny’s flat affect and omori’s extreme emotions. its very accurate to someone who is terrified of showing emotions due to a trauma that involved them)

>Do you think it all would be enough to get him to confront his past?

luckily, moving out of the house that mari died in will be really good for him. and moving towns will also help him learn how to go outside again, because he no longer has the extra hurdle of worrying about seeing his old friends like he did for years before he told them the truth. he has space to sort through his feelings at his own pace without the unintentional pressure sunny felt because of his friends (ahem, kel) who were just trying to help and wanted him to be happy.

after finally getting the weight off his chest about the truth, he has a good start on confronting the past. there will be ups and downs, but i believe in him.

>Or do you think he’s more so destined to stay locked up in his bedroom and his dreamworld?

in the bad ending, yes. but in the true ending he accepted and embraced omori, the part of himself he thought was irredeemable, the part of him he was in his own psychological civil war with. (jfc this visual made me cry.)

 i know this isn’t a fluffy feels good answer and it made people mad when i answered this in a fandom server haha... but its realistic. to gloss over the painful truth of this game is to flat out disrespect the themes it portrays. this game is a tragedy, its not pleasant, but that’s what its like when you go through trauma and debilitating mental illness. its not realistic to just have one conversation in the hospital and all of a sudden everyone lives happily ever after. his friends will need time to process the truth as well.

but! i believe in everyone to resolve everything that they went through. they can bond through their shared pain and understanding each others perspectives, and i know they’ll come out the other side stronger.

—

EDIT: I JUST REALIZED you asked if the real world events of the game were realistic. yeah fr when he left his house and stayed out all day and then did it again thrice i was like ok he built different... i could never

but if kel was knocking on sunny’s door every day since he learned sunny was moving, then it is a possibility sunny would give it a chance and would have built up the courage after a while because “im moving in 3 days so why not”.

remember: waiting for something to happen?

—

EDIT 2: so i’m playing the hikikomori route and i like af that the player gets that choice. so far, this route is accurate too. i highly recommended playing both routes.

—

please do not be ableist in my askbox in response to this! i will literally crazy murder you!!!

[tac-confessions]

K lemme clear some stuff up since some of you cant read, and yes im gunna be aggressive as hell in this because none of you listen

First few things, i am not suicidal, i did not say i was going to off myself, i do not know who that anon was but because of everyone saying that anon was me, that anon is not getting the help they deserve from you people so maybe instead of looking for another petty reason to justify your actions against me, think for a second how ignorant your actions are to someone who is legitimately struggling with life right now. How do you think that anon feels? To have posted that as an attempt to seek help or something or to vent, and then see everyone going “omg vlixxie did this to guilt trip deku!!1!” Yeah, please use your brains thank you

To clarify, what i said was that i have struggled with suicidal thoughts and tendancies in the past, im getting help and im getting better, but i still struggle with heavy depression, i did not intend for this to be a guit trip, i realized how aggressive i was towards deku and i attempted to explain why i got so angry at them, receiving vivid violence threats like that really can trigger memories of when i was struggling with life, it can trigger a lot of dissociation and anger and hard shit to deal with, please do not take my words out of context if your going to go off on me for that, no one likes a hypocrite

K second thing, can you FUCK OFF with the ableist autism comments what the actual fuck is wrong with you anons. Seriously? You think people are defending me because im uwu autistic cant do shit? Yeah i have autism, yeah its a disorder thats hard af to deal with, but you know what? I fucking deal with it because life doesnt go soft on you because yoy have more trouble navigating it. I know how to control myself, i know how to form words, i can function as a human being and implying that i cant and that thats the only reason people are defending me is sickening and dehumanizing. Stop minimalizing me and the autistic community as a fucking whole just because you want reasons for me to be at fault

Next point, the slurs, oh the slurs, deku used the R slur against me. Deku did not know i was autistic, i did not ever expect them to have known that as i didnt tell them so i’d appreciate it if you dropped that whole “how could deku know!!” Im not mad because deku used a specific slur against autistic people against me. Im mad because deku used a slur as an insult. As i have been informed, deku also has some kind of disorder, but thats none of my business so i wont ask. The point is, deku has a disorder so in technicality he is likely eligable to reclaim the R slur. The issue with how deku used the slur was they used it as an insult, thats not how reclaiming works, reclaiming a slur is a process used by the minority to slowly take the edge away, to take away its power, so it cant be used against them anymore. When you “reclaim” a slur by using it as an insult, your giving it more power, your using it to descriminate, your doing literally the oposite of reclaiming. So dont come at me with the “deku can use the slur” because while thats true, using a slur to belittle or insult someone takes away any rights you might have and makes you just as discriminatory as anyone else using a slur as an insult

My triggers, so as i gave mentioned in this and as i have mentioned in notes and past posts, violence indicators and threats in general are pretty triggering for me, i dont know why ya’ll started saying “how could deku know??” Because i never said i expected them to know, newsflash, i really dont. Im not open about most of my triggers because most are centered around trauma or are embarrassing to talk about, ya’ll think i wanna be out here talking about how i used to wanna off myself? Ya’ll think im enjoying that? Nah not one bit i’d rather shut my damn mouth on that but it’d just give you people yet another reason to come at me so here we are. Deku did not know those two things would especially set me off, but the fact of the matter is that deku used a slur against me, and deku threatened me. Wether those two things are triggers for me or not they’re disgusting behavior and sick. The reason i brought up the triggers was like i said earlier, to try and explain why i got so aggressive at deku in addition to the original nature of the threats and insults

I legitimately dont know what “evidence” ya’ll have against me but your claiming you got screenshots of me doing/saying something that apparently warrants you to attack me, before ya’ll start sending those screens out like u claim your gunna do, maybe you should dm me and ask for my side, instead of furthering the one sided nature of this shitshow. I do have beef with endo rn, i have had beef with endo for a while now, but i kept it all in private, i didnt say anyting, i vented to my friends a few times because it was stressful as fuck and it was eating me up inside, i gave them screenshots when they asked but i literally never took this public. So before you try to attack me for “publicly” shaming endo, maybe consider that you are literally the people who made this a public affair and literally publicly shamed *me* for nothing

You had no reason to make this public, you had no reason to attack me, you’re grasping at straws trying to find a way to justify your actions, your trying to use me as a scape goat to take the blame off you, but you know what? I own up to my actions, i apologize when necessary, i genuinely want to better myself when i fuck up. And i dont use my mental health or my disorders as a sheild, i explain them when it’s necessary to the situation so dont twist that against me because it’ll only make you more of an asshole

Finally, people arent defending me because i have autism, people arent defending me because im “helpless” people are not defending me because i cant control myself or for any reason your describing, people are defending me because someone blatantly publicly threatened me with no basis and continued to harrass me and bully me into submission. To keep saying people are defending me because i have autism is not only offensive to me as a person with autism, its offensive to the whole ass community, we can take care of ourselves, just because we’re different doesnt mean you can pick our strengths and weaknesses apart and force an identity upon us

So before you make another post trying to further pin everything on me and make more shitty comments against me to justify yourself, consider that maybe you actually fucked up

And for the record, you keep saying i fucked up and im deflecting and i got called out, no one has told me how i fucked up, no one has told me why i apparently deserve this, so how the fuck do you expect me to apologize for actions i did that you wont tell me about. I cant apologize for things i didnt know offended or hurt you, not unless you downright tell me that it hurt you, im not a mind reader, and publicly shaming me isnt going to change that

Thank you.

[echo-bleu]

If it is OK to ask, when did you find out you were autistic?

It’s absolutely okay to ask, I welcome all respectful questions about autism, neurodivergence or disability in general :) This got long, so I’m putting it under a cut.

I’m a late-diagnosed baby. I’m actually still not formally diagnosed, because wait times here in France are through the roof, and getting diagnosed as an adult is an obstacle course (best wait time is 2-3 years if you’re really lucky). But I firmly believe in self-diagnosis being valid.

Figuring it out was a long process. I can’t remember how early I knew I was different, but for sure by the time I was 10. Before that, I remember having trouble making friends and not liking the same things my peers did, but there were some gender things mixed-in too, so I’m not sure how aware I was of why these things happened. My parents always knew I was different, but most of my family is neurodivergent in some way without being aware of it, so they didn’t have a word for it and didn’t worry about it too much. I was lucky to grow up in an environment where they mostly let me do what I wanted, even when they didn’t understand.

[mentions of bullying, depression, SI in this paragraph] From age 11 on, I was bullied in school by everyone, including a number of teachers. By then I was fully aware that there was something “wrong” with me (that’s how I thought of it). I’m also aroace, probably agender (my gender is kind of a mess), overweight and intersex, so there were very few things about me that fit into the norm. I desperately tried to fit in, but it was a lost cause. At this point, I forcibly repressed nearly all my stimming and stopped talking to anyone about my interests. I became depressed, had suicide ideation and, at different points, got specific interests in brain disorders, neurology and disability.

[ableism and psychophobia] I definitely came across things I recognized then, but I never applied the word autism to myself. I think I just never found the right resources. Autism to me was the kids who didn’t speak on TV, basically. I definitely read stuff about Asperger’s syndrome back then but it was clearly something that only happened to boys and those boys all like maths and trains. I never even came upon the concept of neurodivergence, or, for that matter, disability studies and rights. Partly because the concepts hadn’t reached France at all (they barely have today), and I didn’t read English much. What I do remember, is identifying hard with autistic-coded characters on TV (and with no one else). Specifically, Greg House from House MD, and a little later Sherlock in BBC Sherlock. I don’t think I can overstate the harm that the blatant ableism of these shows did to me. For a few years, I honestly thought that I was either a sociopath or a psychopath and probably didn’t deserve to live. (House is also extremely ableist toward the main character’s physical disability and generally misogynist and problematic af, but it took me years to understand that.)

Around the age of 19, I read Daniel Tammet’s book I was born on a blue day and some of Oliver Sacks’s books, and I did recognize myself in this. Not fully, so I just put it in a corner of my mind while I kept looking. About a year or so later, I came back to it in a roundabout way. I was in the Leverage fandom and I read this fic. It was probably the first thing I read written by an autistic person that was about everyday life, rather than meant to explain autism to allistic people. And I related hard. So I started researching again, and I found this among other things (it’s a list of traits in girls), as well as a number of blogs by autistic people. I started finding things about neurodivergence. Around the same time, several people in my family started suspecting the same thing about themselves (by coincidence, funnily).

After several months of intensive readings, once I was reasonably sure, I contacted someone on Twitter who was looking to start a collective of autistic artists. We met up some weeks later, and for the first time, I found myself in a room with only autistic people (most of them were also advocates, more advanced than I was in deconstructing their internalized ableism). It was honestly like coming home. I felt like I belonged somewhere, and that I was welcome, for the first time in my life. I’ve met up with these people and others since, I’ve made other autistic friends (many by coincidence, honestly either I just attract autistic people like a magnet or there are many more than we think), and learned so much about myself. I’m still learning to love myself and to stop being ashamed, and that’s the hardest journey, but I’m confident that I’ll get there.

I probably just hugely overshared and you didn’t want to know all that, but here it is. Hope it makes some kind of sense.

tl:dr: I figured out I was autistic at 20-21 and it was all because of a fanfiction.

[stonerbughead]

maria watches friday night lights (#4)

season 2, pt 2!! (2x08-2x15)

ugh Matt is really having his Being A Stupid Teenage Boy season huh?

-lol love a good naked dude being chased scene — in this case, Smash on his recruiting trip being chased around by a potential future teammate. Classic.

(it’s kinda cute that Matt came to pick him up tho)

- the latest in season 2 being off the fucking rails: really? Riggins’ new digs include a meth lab on wheels??

-Landry confessing to murdering someone and then having his sheriff dad drag him out of the station to go home is the whitest shit EVER. Like, Landry is literally *trying* to be punished and they just won’t punish his white, cop-kid ass. ‘Murica. (I mean don’t get me wrong: it WAS self defense against someone literally stalking and trying to rape Tyra, but the point still stands that if Landry was a black kid he’d have been tried as an adult and convicted no doubt)

-YESSSSS a MySpace shoutout! we love to see it

“I hate you” - Santiago (and also me) @ Buddy Garrity

-omg Coach Taylor noticing that things aren’t good at home for Riggins and taking him in, my heart!

-Wow in just one scene Riggins charmed baby Grace, warned Tami’s sister not to shame women for eating a lot (“it can lead to anorexia, especially in girls”) and then offered to go out to the store to get baby formula in the pouring rain. What a man.

-and yes, Shelly, you fully grown woman, it IS a bad idea to lust after a TEENAGE BOY

-wow Riggins protecting Julie from the SUPER DRAMATIC TORNADO that made me laugh. Do we get to have a Riggins-Julie friendship??? bc I’d be down. We need more friendships.

-Thank you, Tami, saying “EW” to her sister watching Riggins work out! Someone has sense to know a fully grown woman shouldn’t be lusting after a teenager! Julie can lust if she wants tho, that’s age appropriate.

-DYING at Landry being aghast that Tyra’s never heard of West Side Story.

-oh god, Lyla — it is totally fair to assume your mom would tell your dad she’s getting remarried, especially if she knew you’d be seeing him — so I’m sorry you’re the one who accidentally set off whatever nonsense Buddy is gonna pull now that he knows his ex wife is “marrying that treehugger.”

“Who’s that?” “Some douchebag named Chip. who names their kid Chip anyway?” Same, Tyra, same.

-Landry, one of my biggest pet peeves is asking someone out while they’re on the clock. Like, come on! let Tyra work, boy.

-Jesus Christ it’s like everywhere Julie looks, she has to see Matt making out with someone. That’s rough.

-and oop Matt you busted bc Julie actually knows who Carlotta is!

-once a cheater, always a cheater, Buddy. And yes to Pam for being like “nah bye I’m happy now, it is over.” You treated her like garbage so here we are, sir!

-hilarious that Landry is the one who ends up throwing the first punch that gets the post-tornado, school-crossover tensions to finally boil over

-I like that they show both the fall formal and the party where everyone who didn’t go to the formal is. Nice.

-Aw poor Julie got drunk af to deal with all her feelings. This really is the season where they have Julie and Matt being sixteen year olds in the most painful ways. So maybe it’s good they’re not together during this tho I’m still looking forward to when the tide turns their way again.

-anyway, Tim is a good friend for getting the creep who thought he was “one beer away from getting laid” off of Julie.

-And....in true Texas dad fashion, Eric Taylor misinterprets everything! Noooo. We can’t have nice things.

-This Noelle-Smash partnership is definitely an interesting pairing. Two very ambitious football people courting all these recruiters while Smash’s mom side eyes them in the corner? Hilarious.

-omg not this Oklahoma tech recruiter harassing smash’s mom in the grocery store! GTFO here! Give her some fucking personal space. They really do such a good job of showing as much of the toxic shit about football culture as the inspiring, big moments.

-Aw and I love that Tami tried to help Mama Smash get the guy to go away. It’s such a familiar scene, women helping each other get a dude harassing them away. And then they have a heart to heart in the parking lot? Love that.

-omg what a throwback that Shelly TAPED OVER Eric’s football game to tape a NEW EPISODE of The Office! Love it. “Y’all should get a TiVo.”

-omg watching Tami and Eric work out arguments is so beautiful, they communicate very well! We stan a good marriage.

-wow seeing the other coach from tornado school lose his shit publicly after he knocked down Riggins was uh....wild???? This is the second time he put his hands on Riggins!

-awww Eric actually coming to apologize to riggins for overreacting about Julie when he hears the real story??? Love it.

-Weevil from Veronica Mars shows up as a friend of Santiago’s? Of course.

-WOW and Logan from Gilmore girls as a Christian radio host...tracks.

“Is that your way of telling her you like her?” Jason making a surprisingly astute observation about Tim. (And Lyla.)

-yo why would you invite your daughter’s boyfriend’s family over for dinner just to say they shouldn’t date? (And bc it’s an interracial relationship.) Southern culture is wild to me lol

-wow the racist coach from last season is now off spouting his mouth about how “no wife of mine would be working with a kid at home.” I love that Eric calls him out as sounding stupid and ignorant — you better!

-hearing that Lyla burned her cheerleading uniform is one of the most badass things she’s done so far tbh along with that dealership destruction

-off the rails update: 2x12 was toooo much!! Like, Jesus between Smash’s sister getting harassed at the movie theater by the racists who hate on smash and Noelle...and this plotline with Santiago and his old friends trashing Buddy’s place...it’s like, can we breathe.

-I could not be more excited for Carlotta to leave and another teenage boy with adult woman relationship to end.

-wow can’t believe the plotline where Riggins stole $3000 from a drug dealer isn’t ending well for him. And now Smash is getting arrested bc of those racist guys from the movie theater episode? One recap I read said that too many of this season’s plots feel contrived and I think that sums it up.

-is there any character who HASN’T worked at Buddy Garrity’s dealership at this point?!

-and yikes at all the other salespeople being mad that a salesperson in a wheelchair was hired...y’all mad ugly and ableist for that

-Tyra and Landry are....confusing

-Wait Logan from GG is an actual preacher and not just a Christian radio host? CREEPY. And he kissed Lyla? A lot to unpack there.

-lol Tim trying to woo Lyla is kinda funny to watch simply bc Tim is clearly so confounded by rejection

-I love how much space they give for Smash’s sister’s pain in the Noelle-Smash theater incident. A lesser show wouldn’t have centered her as much.

-is it mean of me to say Jason is boring AF most of the time

-yeah this dreads girl is seemingly way more compatible with Landry than Tyra yikes! Like she made him a power metal mix cd???

-wow this Smash storyline where mouthing off to the press is what gets him suspended....really checks out bc teenage boys are dumb

-I love Tami as a volleyball coach and getting to see another sport! Also as someone who’s been on a losing team I know that feeling of finally winning a game!!! Go Dillon volleyball!!! (Am I maybe currently writing a Bughead fic based on my underdog field hockey experiences? ;) yes yes I am)

-Oh shit now Saracen’s at the nihilistic Nothing Matters phase of teenage angst. Right on schedule!

-lol these two short haired blondes (white dreads Jean and Tyra) being in a love triangle with Landry is wild

-Omg jean just said, “are you a friend or are you competition?” She is not playing!

-I love Riggins dragging Saracen to practice

“I don’t want you to become at an at-risk youth” -Landry teasing Saracen while also sincerely caring about him is some of the best friendship banter on this show. The accuracy 😂

-It seems like Julie gets a lot of hate? But I think I have such a soft spot for Julie bc I was a bitchy teenager with undiagnosed mental health disorders and I just wish so much #growth for her! Also I really do miss her and Saracen’s relationship, I’m so excited I’m almost at S3 where it seems like it’s happening again?

-LOL this guy at the dmv is the first person in Dillon to be like, “no I hate football.” That tracks.

-wow Saracen is getting driven to the hospital to make sure his grandma is okay by the sex worker who was just giving him a lap dance. Amazing.

-also I hope grandma is okay!

-okay Tyra throwing her hat in the ring for Landry at the last minute? Idk I think Jean deserves the win but there’s no way it’ll happen bc she’s a guest actor?!

-awww Saracen’s abandonment issues coming out whiles he in the tub after being sobered up by Eric Taylor. “There’s nothing wrong with you.” 😭 and “your daughter left me for a better guy” - will take that crumb — first mention of Julie out of Saracen’s mouth in a minute

-hey, Landry, my friend: flirting with a girl (Jean) to get her outside then dumping her immediately is kind of a wild bait and switch. But I get it, he’s been in love with Tyra for a long time and Tyra IS right — they had a very fucked up start to their relationship so it makes sense she needed a minute to process her ~feelings~. however I definitely identified closer to a jean in my high school experience L O L (minus the unacceptable white dreads)

-these Julie and Tami driving scenes are painfully accurate, btw. Love them.

-wow the scene of Smash hyping everyone up, the adrenaline/energy of the team cheering with helmets and a classic “clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose” - then the whole team running out onto the field and leaving an empty locker room with just Smash breaking down into tears....#art

-alright y’all I’m gearing up for the last episode of S2! Thanks to @lockitin for reminding me this is the writers’ strike season — I was in eighth grade then and remember being pissedddd about the shortened fourth season of “the office” — so I’m fully prepared for the abruptness to come.

-I love when they parallel showing the white church and the black church

-and Tim going to church just to see Lyla makes me laugh

-ooooof Jason you cannot put on this waitress you had a one night stand with the fact that this could be your only chance to have a baby!!! Omg this poor woman who just pointed out she, too, is NINETEEN.

-wait so is Riggins doing a sports show on a Christian radio station? What?

“I think you’re really hot. Your long hair reminds me of Jesus” -Christian girls being horny for Riggins LOL

-awww Saracen being like “okay Landry you’re gonna impress Tyra right now” before that football play was a cute friendship moment for those two

-aww I love how this Smash storyline is turning out with Coach Deeks whose had his eye on him for six years my heart 😭

-also unclear to me whether Logan Huntzberger the Preacher is a fully grown adult dating a high school senior?? Biggest teen drama pet peeve once again! Stop this!

-Tami is my heroine for just leaving Eric at the restaurant fighting with her ex. “see you at home, honey!”

-I’m sorry, is Jason gonna like actually convince this girl to have a baby with her one night stand at 19??? Oh lol wait THAT ended up being the cliffhanger of the whole season? Fucking hilarious.

well I made it through season 2!!! Super psyched for Season 3, Jay has been hyping me up for it. See y’all next time! (I’ll try to post more for season 3 bc this accidentally got long af.)

[actualaster]

I do want to mention that while there are a lot of teens in fandom, there always have been, and always will be, far more adults than people like to assume.

Adults BUILT fandom, back before the internet even existed. Adults are the ones who currently fight for it to be legal--OTW's lawyers who argue that fic is fair use sure aren't paid by kids when they're needed, for example.

This isn't to say fandom is by and for adults only--fandom as a concept is open to all ages, with there being specific communities restricted by age either meant for younger fans to have a safe environment or for adult fans to have a safe place to post content that isn't for kids. (And general all-ages areas are a mix of content that kids shouldn't and shouldn't see and this is not wrong provided the works are tagged and marked as adult)

But I often see antis using the excuse of their victim being 18 or older as why it's okay to attack them.

But here's the thing: almost every fanfic writer I have encountered or heard of has been part of an oppressed group on at least one level.

Many are women. Many are queer AF in one or more ways. Many are POC. Many are disabled, or neurodivergant or mentally ill (and before you start on "yeah because they're all pedos!!1!1!" no, they're depressed or autistic or anxious or have OCD or some sort of personality disorder or any number of other things, often having more than one). Mant are two or more of the above.

But then, it's easy to pick on the queer depressed women, isn't it? Or the neurodivergant people? Or the otherwise marginalized folks who write "bad" fanfic, right? Much easier than going for the white cishet mainstream media creators who have the ability to sue you into the ground for trying to go after them, isn't it? Much, much safer to yell at somebody who will get maybe 100 unique hits on their work than the people who will create something millions upon millions will see and adore because mainstream media is an entirely different ballpark from fanfic when it comes to influencing reality or not.

Anti behavior has never been about protecting kids--if it was, they would argue for even more robust tagging and blacklisting systems, for more distinct ability to separate out explicit work from non-explicit so that such works can still exist in a safe place. For more warnings to ensure there can be no accidental coming across something that a person doesn't want to see.

Hell, they wouldn't be limiting it to porn stuff--they would be fighting for more tagging in general to help people avoid triggers or squicks, they would try to keep language precise to better understand needs and wants and to address them in safe ways.

But it's not. It's always been an abuse movement--yes, abuse, because bullying (which many of them gleefully admit to doing) is a form of abuse that can and does cause irreparable harm--that has predominantly targeted already vulnerable people to harass and slander. It has always promoted hatred and violence and instilling fear and has always had cult-like tendencies and is increasingly becoming an undeniable cult with an obsession based in "purity" that has a disturbing amount of crossover with extreme christian fundamentalism (hello "sex is gross-bad and you will corrup the innocent simply by talking about it you filthy sinner" mindsets).

It has always been a movement filled with abusive people who deny they are abusive because they do what they do for a self-described good cause, who think any means can be justified by the ends.

This is all to say, adults exist in fandom, have always existed in fandom, and they are not "acceptable targets" by virtue of being adults but much less because almost all of them are also part of already victimized groups.

All attacking them does is reveal misogynistic, queerphobic, and/or ableist tendencies.

Especially since a hell of a lot of the language and attacks used by antis are ableist in nature.

[lexosaurus]

Do you ever feel lonely being asexual? I feel like none of my friends understand what it's like and it's so isolating and terrifying and I feel do broken. Have you ever felt this way? How do you handle it? Sorry if this is too personal.

Hey anon! I hope you’re okay! I also hope you’re ready for a long post because that’s what this turned out to be!

Firstly, you are NOT alone. I think every ace feels this way at somepoint or another. It’s super common, especially since there really aren’t many out-aces, there’s virtually no actually helpful resources out there for aces, and most people legit have never heard of asexuality or believe it to be something that can be cured either through sexual acts or medication. The fact of the matter is, that being asexual is very much an isolating experience and it can be really really hard to become comfortable with.

For me, I grew up in a conservative town in a liberal state. So while no one was outwardly aggressive towards lgbt people which gave me a false sense of security, coming out was ROUGH. I lost all of my friends to the point where in highschool I wasn’t allowed in a party that everyone else in my grade went to, I got in a massive fight with my mom and ended up having to move out for a few weeks (don’t worry, we’re super close now), and I ended up going back in the closet which only ended up with me being coerced into having sex a bunch until I finally reached my breaking point. I realized I had to figure this out or I was gonna lose it.

Moving away from that environment was probably one of the main ways that I was able to start feeling okay. I moved to a nearby city, dropped all my old friends, made new ones, joined new activities, etc etc. I made sure my new friends knew I was ace pretty much right away, but I didn’t really talk about it past the casual, “Yeah, I’m asexual. I’ll date anyone but I won’t have sex with anyone. It hurts my body and I don’t like it.” and then that was it. I mean, I answered the inevitable questions that followed as if no, they weren’t dumb questions or invasive, even if maybe deep down I thought they were. But other than that it was just a casual mention, made sure they were chill with it, and then moved on.

And knowing that my friends were totally 100% okay with me being ace was like the best thing ever. They don’t UNDERSTAND being asexual on a deep level, (not even now after 3 years of living together), but I don’t understand how their sexualities function on that deep level either. It’s a two way street. And sometimes with people I’ll even ask them, “Okay but how do you KNOW that you like like someone like that?” and then they’ll have to take a step back and be like, “Oh shit, I guess it’s just innate. Oh damn I’ve never thought about this. Huh. Wtf.” You know, just showing curiosity in their feelings and showing that it’s okay to ask “obvious” questions really does a lot.

But tbh, my friends and I now will talk music or memes way before we’ll talk lgbt stuff. And half my friends are lgbt too. I just chose new friends who I connected and related to on deep levels that had nothing to do with sexuality at all.

The second big thing I did, and this is gonna sound counter-productive, was I unfollowed every ace-centered blog on Tumblr. No joke. I went through my followers and unfollowed EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. I found that a lot of ace blogs, even ace-positive blogs, made me feel good for a second when I saw those ace-positive posts, but in the long run they ended up being really detrimental. Thinking about asexuality like something that needs constant validation is not healthy, no matter how positively it’s presented.

I was in a place where being asexual wasn’t normal in my head and I needed to normalize it, not validate it. Because validating asexuality comes AFTER normalizing it, not the other way around. So I needed to not constantly think about it or read about it or see it all the time. I needed to just watch it casually in modern media (aka watch Bojack Horseman and Saiki K on Netflix), talk about it with REAL PEOPLE irl in casual conversation occasionally, and just in general start looking at it like something as normal and mundane as my brown hair or dark eyes. Asexuality isn’t special, it’s not cool, it’s not sad either, it’s just another normal thing that contributes to me as a person.

So now when a follower reblogs an ace-positive post, I feel good. Like truly good. Not that fleeting good that will disappear in 30 secs and remind me that “oh yeah, there are a lot of people out there that hate aces.” I just get an occasional reminder that, “Oh yeah! I’m ace! Nice! I’m dope af!” 

But being asexual isn’t like in my “top 5 qualities” list. I don’t write my bios and put my asexuality at the top of my “about me.” In fact, I don’t even think i wrote that im asexual in my about me on tumblr lol. It’s not that I don’t like asexuality, it’s just so normal to me I’m just kinda like “oh yeah im ace. i have dark eyes. and 10 fingers. surprise! Okay now back to the good stuff…”

Also, a bit of a sidetrack, but that “everyone’s valid” culture on tumblr is actually super toxic and not good. And so getting away from that is v helpful to your mental health.

The last thing that I did that helped me a lot was actually a bit of a coincidence but I met a girl irl who was my coworker who happened to be asexual too. We worked together for like a year, we totally vibed and started hanging out together a ton, and then one day out of the blue she was like “yeah I’m pretty sure I’m ace too.” It was super dope and just having that one person that I could relate to like that who I also truly enjoyed hanging out with was like a breath of fresh air.

Finding a fellow ace irl that you vibe with can be tough. She wasn’t the first ace that I’d met, but I tend to be a rather blunt person and the previous aces I’d met were all through my school’s lgbt club and they tended to be,,,sensitive,,,(told me i was ableist because I talk loudly and my loud voice was insensitive to their sensory disorders like bitch i’ve got hearing problems i can’t solve but you CAN buy earplugs so lol thank u next byeee),,,BUT I DIGRESS, chill aces are hard to find but finding that one person is so nice. But I should say I was pretty much comfortable with being ace at that point. That was kind of the cherry on top. So if this isn’t available to you, which it doesn’t sound like it is, that’s okay. There are other things you can do in the meantime.

Also, I do have to add that much of the phandom happens to be asexual. Idk how that happened but it did.  So if you ever wanna talk ace-things, I’m sure so many people on here would be DOWN to talk ace stuff. I’ve done it before, it’s fun. They’re all rlly nice.

So yeah that was pretty much how I got from a place where I was so defeated about being ace from pretty much everyone around me to now I’m totally comfortable and normal with it to the point where I have turned several homophobes into lgbt-supporters because “fuck, Lexx is so chill and we vibe so hard but she’s lgbt??? i really like her as a person but she’s bi and ace??? hhhhhh,..,,,,i guess lgbt people are cool idk man ya wow ok.” (Legit one of these homophobes sent me screenshots a few months back where some kid was calling me a slur like on instagram or something and he was like “What, you mad cuz she won’t sleep with you? Get a life.” it was sweet 😊)

[orbmanson7]

Voltron fandom is surprisingly not as salty as the friendom was a couple weeks back when we had the Incident That Shall Not Be Named but I can't really agree with the few voices saying they were queerbaited on that one. They gave you shiro x Adam, but they never explicitly mentioned the two were romantically involved or engaged or anything and (spoilers) later kept in the world's worst trope: bury your gays.

You have every right to be upset for shitty representation, but klance sure af has nothing to do with that, so that's not how y'all should go about this. Specify that shiro never even referring to Adam as his ANYTHING (fiance, boyfriend, partner, s/o, literally ANYTHING) is what you are mad about. Specify that you are pissed they (again SPOILERS) killed off shiro's boyf so we never met him and he got a whopping three lines in a flashback that lasted mere seconds. He was never mentioned or alluded to prior to this, and even if the writers said they wanted this all along, it doesn't fix the repetitive problem of inserting a character for representation points and then killing them off in that same episode so you don't have to write anything about them ever again. A whole split second of shiro grieving upon finding Adam's name on the memorial doesn't fix that, guys. He's not allowed to be gay, and while it's perfectly okay to go "hey it's just a part of him it doesn't make up all of him so we aren't gonna have him go around talking about his gayness all the time because we need to focus on other plot stuff" you just gotta understand that you don't get to slap a label on a character and grab credit and run. Good writing means integration of that label on that character.

Like how the "oh shiro had a degenerative muscle disorder all along" plan also was ABLEIST AS FUCK. you started off by giving him a prosthetic and had him start to learn how to use it and that changed and flowed throughout the seasons. Taking it away leans to the loss of power and control upon s6's end and throughout s7, and giving him yet another one that's got crazy powers all over again should still have an impact. It shouldn't make him 'the disabled character' but it SHOULD build upon his character personality and experience and his writing could have been better done overall. Just... DreamWorks, you HAVE HICCUP, SO YOU KNOW GOOD DISABLED CHARACTER WRITING. DRAW FROM THAT EXPERIENCE FOR THIS, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

but yeah no, I don't wanna see people whine about klance being hinted at all along and blah blah blah it's queerbait. That's not queerbait. That's shipping goggles and a supportive cast & crew, big difference. They didn't promise shit on that front and you know it. There are bigger fish to fry, guys, just get on that

[aquarianlights]

Coming out as transgender to people who you have absolutely no idea if they're going to reject you or not is worse and way more traumatic than coming out to people who you KNOW are going to reject you.

I'm literally fucking sobbing right now. Two of my oldest friends... Two people I have known since pre-k...maybe before that...Jymboree... That. That was before pre-k, right? Well, I've known them since Jymboree.........and I don't think either of them know I am transgender. One of them only just now found me on FB and we haven't spoken since... early college years. And the other...we haven't spoken in a few years.

I'm just coming out to them both RIGHT NOW....and I'm shaking and crying. I'm literally shaking and there are tears rolling down my cheeks.... I have known these two girls probably 24 of my 25 years of existence. Maybe almost a full 25. They were two of the biggest influences in my entire life....and they are like sisters who I grew up with.

I only found out I was transgender and not just "faking it/pretending to be a boy" around the age of 20-22ish. I honest to god thought I was pretending and my ex girlfriend breaking up with me after over 5 years of an LD relationship because she thought I was pretending, too, was possibly one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. Not THAT it happened...but how it happened. And the things I have experienced from being transgender... specifically from cishet males... is horrible.

And people misgendering me and just not understanding for some reason??? I'm sorry, but even if you're on the autism spectrum, you can understand when someone says they're a boy, they're a boy. You're not misunderstanding this because you're autistic; you're misunderstanding it because you're a white, cishet dude who apparently has a crush on me.

Receiving a text that says or someone saying "I'm sorry, but it's just weird for a me, being a straifght guy, to have a crush on you as a transboy." LET ME MAKE ONE THING CLEAR RIGHT FUCKING NOW: YOU EITHER HAVE A CRUSH ON ME OR YOU ARE NOT STRAIGHT. There is ///////////NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!/////// inbetween. You cannot be male and like another male and call yourself straight. Can you? Then how can you like me and call yourself straight? I'm just as male as you are. Always have been, always will be. Before and after HRT + gender correction surgeries. Just because I am transgender and haven't transitioned yet does not make me ANY LESS of a man than you in ANY way.

There is literally no way in this world or logic or ANYTHING that can state factually that you can be straight and male and have a crush on me. I don't understand how a man can call himself straight if he has a crush on another man? Can someone explain that to me? Please? I'm just DYING to know. And for anyone who is autistic (I think I have like maybe 2 or 3 friends on the spectrum here on FB and who knows how many on tumblr where I'm gonna c/p this to), you have absolutely no excuse. If a fucking child can understand that I'm a man....so can you. Idk if autism and down syndrome are synonymous... I don't think they are, coz my cousin has down syndrome and he's not like any of the autistic people I've spoken with online... (So I'm a little confused there), BUT EVEN HE UNDERSTANDS I AM MALE OKAY! He can't even speak for himself or change himself or dress himself or do anything for himself. He holds a bagging position at a local grocery store with help. Other than that, that's about it. He is in his late 20's and he acts like a child...always pulling my hair, can't speak correctly, speaks through sounds and groans and motions, reacts emotionally like...toddler-like emotions...Stuff like that to give examples. And I thought, for the longest time (coz I was ignorant and sheltered) that that was what autism was.

Well, I'm sorry, but if my cousin WITH THAT SEVERITY OF DOWN SYNDROME (which may or may not be autism?????? I have no clue on any developmental issues coz I only have mental disorders and not developmental issues and I only study psuedo-sciences (aka psych things) relevant to myself because I'm forced to so I'm ignorant by choice here which is probably abelist but it emotionally hurts me to look at this stuff) CAN UNDERSTAND THAT I'M A BOY EVEN WHEN I'M IN A DRESS AND HIGH HEELS WITH MAKE-UP ON, UNDERCOVER IN DISGUISE FOR A FAMILY FUNCTION.... ANY OF YOU AUTISTIC PEOPLE CAN. NONE OF YOU HAVE ANY EXCUSE. NO ONE WITH A DEVELOPMENTAL DISORDER, MENTAL ILLNESS, OR ANYTHING HAS ANY EXCUSE. AND, NO, I'M SORRY, BUT YOUR BIGOTRY IS THE SAME AS PEDOPHILIA BEING INCLUDED IN THE LGBT+ COMMUNITY: IT'S NOT COUNTING AND IT NEVER WILL BE, YOU SICK FUCK.

I'm just....I'm just so scared and so angry and so hurt and so...

All the experiences I've had irl and online with both people I know and people I don't know and anything inbetween...professionals and acquaintances and anything inbetween... I'm fucking traumatized by it all and yes that's actually part of my PTSD. It's not the main part of it, but the trauma associated with accumulated experiences due to being out and proud as a transman are a part of my extremely severe PTSD. Again, not the main part...but the fact they are a chunk is scary... Coz that means it could be the ENTIRE reason for someone's PTSD if they were to have lesser experiences than me (lesser being used in quantitative terms here, not qualitative---everyone's traumas are equal...the times we experience traumas are all different, obvs, and the times we experience traumas that contribute to PTSD are different and since I have so goddamn many, thinking some trans person could have PTSD based SOLELY around their experience as a trans person is horrifying when that is one of the least of my worries in the PTSD category).

I didn't realizing coming out could be this terrifying...

When I thought I was pretending to be male and was actually female irl, I thought I was just a lesbian since I am attracted to mostly girls. (Didn't know bi and pan was a thing either lol) so I came out on my very first day at a new school sophomore year of hs by people asking me or something and me doing something really bold and rash to prove it and then shrugging and being all "And? What are you gonna do about it?" Like. Coming out as lezz was as though I were coming out as human in my mind. It absolutely did not matter to me at all. 

And, frankly, I got off on it mentally coz it added a shock value when someone called me a dyke in a crowd and I would grab the nearest girl and ask her permission to kiss her and kiss her as hard as I could and then throw her aside (gently) into the crowd and strut right up to said (cishet white male obvs) person who asked and stand so close he could smell the shampoo I use and look him directly in the eye and dare him to do something about it and basically say "Are you just angry I get more pussy than you? Is that why you tried to make it public that you've got such a small dick?" Stuff like that. I get filmed a lot doing this stuff so there's prob videos of little female-presenting, bright blue haired, 5'1 3'4" kandi kid, harajuku girl Nickita version of me floating around being all confrontational and angry. Lol.

I forget why I made this post.

Oh yeah. Because I'm crying and shaking coz my friends aren't gonna respond for a while I'm sure and Idk if I'm going to lose them and at the same time I am super super SUPER sick and drained by guys not treating me as equal to them when I'm just as male as they are, with or without the parts.

I’m seriously so drained by cishet boys. By the ace thing and by the trans thing. I’m sick of cishet boys trying to coerce me into sex because they’re the “one exception” and I’m sick of cishet boys trying to say they’re straight but they have a crush on me, when I’m a boy. You CANNOT BE A STRAIGHT BOY AND HAVE A CRUSH ON A BOY!?!??!?!

These are things I deal with MULTIPLE times a day from MULTIPLE people...from people with autism and aspergers...to actual full on neurotypicals. Like. THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!?

NOTE: I have since learned the aspergers, autism, and down syndrome are like...all different or something like that. I don’t really want to know, which is ableist af, but I don’t want to know on purpose. I want to stay ignorant on specifics. I just want the general knowledge and the tl;dr version of it all. At least....right now....maybe when I’m not about to have a panic attack, ready to slit my wrists, overdose, shoot someone, can slow down my thoughts, can force my intrusive thoughts back into intrusive thought zone and not desire zone, and can STOP HAVING AUDITORY HALLUCINATIONS WHEN I KNOW DAMN WELL MY SCHIZO MEDS ARE WORKING THEY ARE WORKING THEY ARE WORKING SO THIS ISN’T REAL AND IDK WHY THIS IS HAPPENING....maybe then I’ll like to know specifics, but I cannot an will not handle specifics right now. No thanks. Pseudo-science are ew. It’s bad enough I have to lean my OWN psuedo-sciences. (Psst. I still only learn the tl;dr textbook version of my own pseudo-science stuff (aka: psych stuff) so I can just learn the rest from self experience. it works. pro tip, y’all.)