#which. no? that’s the reason I’m using the wheelchair service

[eyenaku]

sorry to be massively invasive here but as somebody with STICKERS all over their forearm crutches I am dying to know what your aid looks like to be deemed "too fun" (if you're willing to tell). Literally losing my mind over the idea of somebody saying that to me

BAHAHA ok ok so I can see why they thought it looked too fun but I Cannot See how after talking to me they didn’t listen

I have a variety of different wheel attachments for my shoes and modified heelys specifically to aid my conditions. They’re helpful of course in that they make travelling long flat distances both faster and less stressful on my joints and muscles overall, but also in that if I’m with people in close to (or even just using a shopping cart) I can essentially hitch a ride without having to exert too much of the little energy I do have on bad days

These wheeled shoes/attachments are not only considered medical expenses, but were cited specifically as an example for my qualification to use disabled parking! While they can, as roller shoes, be used for fun, that is by no means the reason I wear them in public (particularly not a reason I would wear them in stores), and they were absolutely not being used as a toy or fun thing! I personally would not wear them in places like stores if I didn’t have to, particularly out of some sense of respect, and particularly ti avoid situations like this one

I had a knee brace on, I had a cane I was actively using in between using the wheels. When I have little to no energy it is very hard for me to walk more than a little, and so using these wheels is something that works well for me and my circumstances; it’s not as though I was fooling around or anything which is part of what pissed me off so bad; I was pointedly trying to keep to myself and stay close to the people I was at the store with, so as not to draw unnecessary attention or “cause a scene” or smth

So yea it was rolling shoes, which I can see why they would think that *at first*, but after explaining my situation, particularly the fact that while they may *look* fun the fact that I’m needing to use them at all means I Am Not Having A Fun Time, I was still not listened to,,, Wheeled shoes + a very stickered cane

I also think it has to do with the fact that physically I look completely able-bodied- even on my worst days just looking at me most people tend to assume I’m sleep deprived for some reason. I also physically look very young; particularly to have a condition affect me that badly (something I still don’t get but egh )

Similar things happen when I try to use different aids too though,, I’ve been told by many a stranger, upon utilising one of the electric shopping carts, or having someone in with take me around in a wheelchair when I don’t have my shoes and cane, that I’m “taking away resources from people who need them” or that I “shouldn’t play with that stuff”. So it’s not even a matter of *my* aids in particular. The area I live in has a lot of older people, and it is 9/10 times people in this age group that make these types of comments, including this time

So anyways yea I can see why they thought that; wheeled shoes are regaining popularity as a fun thing right now! There’s all sorts of combo roller skate sneakers I see online, and what I use could easily be mistaken for that. There’s also the viewpoint that someone else might see me do it and think they could, but quite honestly I don’t see how that’s my issue; they could’ve said no to those people just as well. If it was a liability thing because of potential of injury, they didn’t say. But I’m really upset that I wasn’t listened to after providing context, especially as I was not being disruptive. The store was really big, and without those aids, I couldn’t actually walk around to shop! I don’t have access to a wheelchair of my own, and there was nothing available store provided (not that I was expecting it) and so there was no alternative for me. The fact that they would say that point blank even after I explained my situation is kinda nuts to me

idk I’m majorly pissed off about the whole ordeal rn,,, don’t have mobility aids that look fun to other people I guess /j

[bugbyte]

Man, not to be like stuck on one topic forever, but for some reason today I keep thinking about the visit to social services to get our SNAP fixed.

One specific thing, though.

When we finally got to actually see our caseworker, she wanted to know why I can’t work. As I’m sitting there in my wheelchair, braced up. She’s like, “what happened, did you get in an accident?”

No, as I’ve been repeating for like two years at this point, I have multiple conditions from literal bad genes that are making my joints fall apart and my muscles fail, along with another disorder that makes my blood not go where it should be when it needs to be there. So, I explained it all again. My whole body is bad, I want someone to call about my extended warranty but they never do.

All the while I am sitting my wheelchair which I have purposely gone out of my way to sticker up and put stuff on the spokes a) because it’s fun and b) I want it to be clear (in cases like this) that it’s “lived in” and not just a prop. It doesn’t look like a standard chair someone might temporarily use for an injury, at all. It’s a compact little thing and I adore it. (And its secret name is Koraidon, like the Pokémon, ‘cause it’s red with wheels. Just some secret lore there.)

Anyway we argued the point and got the food money back and then, and THEN (and this is the part my brain keeps repeating)

she holds the door open for me and says “feel better soon!” in the most condescending voice.

Ah yes. I will be sure to work on those bad genes for those incurable conditions.

God.

[vintage-bentley]

Which other sorts of people should be forbidden from accessing public spaces necessary for health and hygiene, just in case they commit a crime? Just that particular one? Why stop there? Maybe we should segregate these spaces by other demographics that have been shown to commit more crime, like class, or race. If we want to be really nice, I suppose we could create secondary spaces just for those sorts of people so they can leave decent people alone. And you're absolutely right, we must never allow resources meant only for the oppressed to be shared! Nobody should be allowed to use a cane unless they have a doctor's note proving they need it, and people who don't use wheelchairs should never go on ramps; they block real wheelchair users from using them! There are no possible consequences for someone who pretends convincingly to be a minority to then be oppressed in the same way the genuine minority is, so this is our biggest concern.

Trans identifying people are not being “forbidden” from using public spaces, stop with the dramatics. Trans identifying males can go use men’s spaces, and trans identifying females can go use women’s spaces. Trans identifying people can also use unisex spaces, which are becoming increasingly common.

Or, the trans community can do what they should have done from the very beginning and campaign for every establishment to have gender neutral spaces. “But going in there will out them!” No, there’s many reasons non-trans people could benefit from gender neutral spaces as well. Maybe a mother needs to bring her young son with her in the changing room, but he’s a little too old to be in the women’s changing room without making others uncomfortable. Maybe somebody prefers the increased privacy that these spaces usually provide (this was the case in my high school, some people preferred the unisex washroom because the stalls were more private). Maybe a man and woman want to go with each other to these spaces the same way same sex friends often do.

Other crime rates do not show a specific class that is particularly in danger. But we can safely say that men are often a danger to women, because men’s misogyny means that women will often be the targets of their violence. And because on average men are physically stronger than women, it is difficult for women to defend ourselves against violence. We do not want to risk this violence in spaces that were made to keep us safe from it.

And did I ever say that nobody should use things like canes if they need them? You’re purposely missing my point. My point was people pretending to need these things to gain advantages meant to help disabled people. For example, somebody pretending that their misbehaved dog is a service dog. This leads to establishments being much more strict towards actual service dogs, therefore negatively affecting the people who need them all because some people took advantage.

If somebody pretends convincingly enough to be an oppressed minority, yes, on the surface they will face discrimination. But they do not face the same oppression. A passing trans identified male might get catcalled, he might be called misogynistic slurs. But he will not be affected if women’s reproductive rights were taken away. In fact, his main complaint might be “why are you calling it women’s rights? I’m a woman and they don’t affect me! Focus on changing how you speak about your rights instead of focusing on winning them!”

He also did not experience female socialisation, so he has no idea what it actually is like to navigate the world as a woman. He has no idea what it’s like to grow up watching the men and boys around you receive better treatment, because he was one of those men/boys.

The only thing a trans identified male knows is the experience of a man pretending to be a woman. He does not and will never have the true experience of a woman. And this applies to anyone who pretends to be a member of an oppressed group. There are some things that you simply cannot identify into experiencing.

Anyways, the main point here is that women deserve to have our own spaces, because historically men have been a threat to us, and they continue to be. We should not have to give up our safety and comfort because some men demand they be included. Those men are not our problem. They can figure something out for themselves just like women had to.

[jodilin65]

I keep debating what I do and don’t want to include in public journals. On one hand, I’m not doing anything wrong if I keep it legal. But on the other, I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable—even if my comments about them are positive or neutral. With Becky, I’ll use my best judgment. She’s familiar with my bio and doesn’t mind being mentioned by her first name.

We’ve talked about her and her husband’s health. She has a whopping five autoimmune diseases! She also had surgery to correct her septum, which I might need as well. I’ll only know if I can ever get in to see an ENT that doesn’t bail on me.

Interestingly, we picked a new healthcare plan that includes an ENT outside of that shitty group that kept canceling on me. But the ENT in network is 88 years old. Yes, 88! Why would you want to work that late in life unless you really love what you do? I can’t imagine they would let him do surgery at that age, but as Tom said, that’s a good thing because then he’ll be more honest as to whether or not he thinks I need surgery to begin with whereas a surgeon would be quicker to say I needed it because that’s how they make money.

I’m still figuring out my sleep apnea treatment plan, but thankfully, I won’t need referrals with this new coverage. And if I do, Rhonda, who I’m sticking with, can take care of that. So long as the provider is in-network and keeps appointments, I should be okay.

I’m dropping my glaucoma doctor, though. Not all of his services are covered, and I don’t see the point in spending money each year with such a low chance of developing glaucoma.

The plan offers virtual urgent care but lacks the ongoing care for chronic diseases that Galileo provided. It sucks but I’d rather not pay $250 a year for Galileo who may or may not be compatible with my insurance, especially until we’re in a better financial position.

As for Becky’s husband, he’s been through hell. He got shingles in his eye, leading to a series of seven strokes. He was on so much medication that it nearly killed him. Coming off the meds, he had seizures and fainting spells and was in constant pain. Becky took a gun out of his mouth one day. I totally understand his pain and desperation, although my reasons are different.

Becky and I were also remembering Lisa from school. As Becky described her, Lisa was almost feral—completely batshit insane to the point where not even the staff could handle her. Becky suspects Lisa may have had multiple issues, possibly a developmental disorder along with ADHD. Lisa told her she was molested as well. She was unique in that she was very pretty. Most of the headcases I’ve seen were either plain, unkempt, or downright ugly. Years later, when the article came out about the school being shut down and the owners imprisoned, Lisa left bizarre comments. Becky reached out, but Lisa never responded.

I almost asked Becky to pass along my email to Marie, but then I reminded myself that people don’t change—not in major ways, anyway. Marie would have to be a totally different person not to fall into the same paranoid, accusatory, and delusional patterns she used to. So I kept repeating to myself, “People don’t change!”

I’ve also been watching a documentary on the Gypsy Rose Blanchard case. Her mother had Munchausen syndrome and kept Gypsy in a wheelchair even though she could walk and both caused and made up various injuries and illnesses. Eventually, Gypsy snapped, tired of being trapped and hurt. She killed her mother and spent ten years in prison. Personally, I don’t think she should’ve done any time. She’s incredibly smart and articulate and has a patient, positive attitude despite everything. At one point, the parole office jerked her around with conflicting instructions, and I could relate. Parole and probation often feel like an extension of jail. A part of me wished she had put her foot down like I wish I had. Why should they be allowed to be a bunch of fucking hypocrites and not stick to agreements while everybody else is expected to do so?

Earlier, I saw a crime clip about a tragic case where two young women—one 17, the other 27—beat a 30-year-old woman to death out of jealousy. Shockingly, the 17-year-old laughed about it during interrogation as if it was one big old fucking joke. It makes you wonder if they’ll ever look back on it and cringe with shame and embarrassment or if they’ll never feel a shred of guilt or remorse. I’m betting on the latter.

Haha, Tom said he thought something was wrong earlier because the garbage truck sounded so loud. Then he remembered he had his new hearing aid in! I can understand why he’d want to hear people better, but why deal with all the loud shit in the world? I wish to hell I was as deaf as he is.

I was up for a long time last night and only managed 4.5 hours of sleep. I did get a few more hours later, though. Interestingly, I’ve been having some rather steamy dreams lately. Too bad those old, dead hormones aren’t cooperating in real life.

I also dreamed we lived in a new place, though I don’t know where. It was very cluttered.

In another dream, Becky was in a two-story house with her kids still at home and she told me she slept downstairs because of her arthritis.

[azvolrien]

Ireland - Day 6

A less eventful day, all told. I got up at the usual time and, with nothing else to do in Dublin that I could fit into a couple of hours, just hung out in my room for a while before I checked out and went to catch the coach from Custom House Quay. My original plan for getting from Dublin to Belfast had been to take the train, but the website said there were engineering works on the line that would have meant a replacement bus service anyway, so I just went straight to the ‘bus’ part and booked a non-stop ticket with the Dublin Express. I think I still would have preferred a train.

The coach left Dublin right on time and followed the motorway all the way north to Belfast without stopping except for a couple of toll gates, eventually reaching the Glengall Street bus station after about two hours. I think I missed the exact point we crossed the border out of the Republic into Northern Ireland; I only realised anything was different when I noticed the font on the road signs had changed slightly. We didn’t pass anything of particular interest on the way other than an attractive cable-stayed bridge over the Boyne and an odd pylon-like structure nearer the outskirts of Belfast. I have no idea what that was.

I walked straight to the hotel from the bus station, past the impressive Belfast City Hall and what seemed to be the main shopping district of the city centre. My room wasn’t ready for check-in, so I just dropped my suitcase off instead and headed back out to get some lunch and take a bus tour to kill some time.

I can’t say I enjoyed it as much as the one in Dublin, and only partly due to the heavy and persistent rain that blew in while I was in the cafe. It was a recorded commentary rather than a live one, and – although this may have been in part due to the English accent of the narrator – there were a few jokes in the script that came across more as snide jabs at Belfast and her people than as affectionate self-deprecation. It did go around all of the main sights of the city, however, including the Titanic museum out by the old shipyards – which seems a fairly walkable distance from the hotel, useful for later in the week – and the famous Harland and Wolff shipbuilding cranes, as well as – further inland – some of the remaining graffiti-covered sections of the so-called ‘Peace Wall’ between the more hard-core loyalist and republican areas of the city, still standing long after the Good Friday Agreement. I didn’t like that part very much, especially in the loyalist streets with a discomfiting number of Union flags and red, white and blue bunting festooning the buildings. There’s expressing loyalty to a country and there’s just being weird about it. I also noted a few Rangers FC flags flying there, but the republican streets didn’t seem particularly bothered about expressing any support for Celtic.

I finished the tour circuit and disembarked again at the City Hall, pondering how strongly Belfast also reminded me of Glasgow in ways other than the shadow of sectarian violence. The city centre has a similar Vibe to it, with a lot of grand Victorian municipal buildings in among more modern offices of glass and metal as well as the old shipyards a little further afield. It feels slightly sadder than Glasgow in a hard-to-define way, but perhaps that was just the weather. No city puts its most cheerful face forwards in pouring rain.

I returned to the hotel to retrieve my suitcase and check in properly. On going up to my room, I discovered that the hotel had assigned me an accessible one for some reason. I promptly went back down to reception to ask about moving, partly because I felt a bit strange taking up an accessible room when I’m completely able-bodied other than a slightly bad ankle and partly because all the adaptations to make it comfortable and convenient for someone in a wheelchair make it the exact opposite for someone who isn’t. Unfortunately they didn’t have any other rooms available for tonight, but advised me to try again in the morning. Hopefully they can arrange something, because I’ll be out on my Giant’s Causeway tour all day and won’t be able to nip in to check.

[montreal-derogatory]

coming here to scream into the void. this is unlike most of my personal posts, but I just need to get shit out of my body.

context to know about me: i’m 24 and live with my parents. i have adhd, depression, and anxiety that is only getting worse. i work as a server. i was also raised mormon, aka taught from birth to give up my soul and all time that i wasnt working for money to do acts of service/free labor. i have left but no one else in my family has except a couple extended relatives.

i love my grandparents very much, and i’m very lucky that all of them live within a 30 mile radius of me, so i see everyone who is still with us quite frequently.

the only problem is pretty much all of them started to have failing health within the last year, and it’s having a significant impact on the entire family, both emotionally and with time commitment.

with my mom’s mom, we took care of her for a long time when she was more independent, but came to a mutual decision to take her to an assisted living community once her health took a sharp decline and she had to start dialysis. the facility we ended up deciding was best (and pretty much every other facility around here) does not have medical/appointment transportation available on the days for her dialysis appointments. this upped/changed my responsibility of taking her to and from physical therapy once a week to taking her to dialysis 3 times a week. pickup is my mom’s responsibility generally, but i am also sometimes asked to do pickup if i’m available. one time i was not available but my family was out of town (did not tell me far enough in advance to get work off) and i ended up having to leave work in the middle of the dinner rush for an hour to go pick up my grandma because i couldn’t get work covered.

on the other side of my family, both of my grandparents have a hard time accepting help with anything other than hard labor for their hobbies like gardening. working on getting them into a facility where they could actually act more independently than they did before is a near impossible act. it makes sense, they don’t want to leave their home of 40 years where they have animals and a garden. then again, my aunt has lived with them pretty much her whole adult life, at least as long as i’ve been alive, so she’s kind of taken on the mantle of caretaker for them in their old age. when she leaves to travel, it falls on us to take shifts of caregiving, and it becomes crystal clear exactly how much work she’s doing. this past year within weeks of each other my grandma started showing signs of dementia and my grandfather had a few physical illnesses that ended up severely impacting his mental health for weeks to now being at the VA home indefinitely and wheelchair bound. luckily he is now getting the care he needs, but my grandmother is still at her house and now has new things that need taking care of.

now brings me to the whole reason for me to make this post. i tonight was asked if i could make another 3 day a week commitment for the next 6-7 weeks to help my paternal grandmother get to appointments, despite openly stating that im applying for another job and am already mentally drowning with the workload i already have (which is not a ton for the average person but i’m having extreme difficulty taking care of myself and ever decreasing spoons). The schedule i’ve set with work accomodates for maternal grandmother care and dnd to keep me sane, but loading on more just leaves even more holes in my schedule and will rob me of 1 of 3 days i have available for a new job.

the irony is my parents want me to be working twice as much as i am now, but also doing all of this grandparent care, and also functioning like my neurotypical siblings at home, but ask me what im doing to improve my mental health. like you pick two between working 40 (or even 35) hours a week, improvement in mental health, increased contribution at the house, and grandparent care.

on top of allll of this i also applied to nail school next year so i can have sone kind of accreditation under my belt which is something i havent even tried to figure out how to work in at this point.

i know i probably sound ungrateful and whiney. that’s ok with me. my mental health is kicking my ass and it feels like im drowning with thicker and thicker ice blocking me from air. (side note, if anyone has any tips for rebuilding a lost habit of taking medication , i would appreciate it.) it is very important to note that the actual care of my grandparents is not an issue for me. i’m glad i get to see them so often, and take time to take care of them. it’s hard watching them decline, but that’s part of greif. the frustrating part is i feel as though my time is not being respected, and also feel as though i’m expected to burn through what precious billable hours i can get (and handle taking) with the hourly work i have to do because it’s the only thing im qualified for. i feel as though i’m being viewed more as a driving tool than as a complex person with complex needs who barely has enough mental energy to devote to getting out of bed every day. not even getting ready, just physically standing up. i’ve been mourning people who are not yet in the grave, and struggling to keep up even the appearance of functionality.

anyway that’s pretty much my letter to the void, i may edit later, we’ll see. if you read, thanks for listening.

[enbycrip]

In “reason x of why it’s good for businesses that make accessibility aids or provide services for disabled people be owned and/or operated by disabled people��, Cool Crutches, which is owned by a mobility aid user, has started selling these flexi things called Sticksafe Holders to wrap around your crutches or stick so you can hook them over anything to stop them constantly falling over. Hopefully these will be the game changer I need!

I mostly use a rollator or wheelchair when I’m outside the house, but crutches when I’m home or just going to someone else’s home by car, and people falling over them or their scaring pets by crashing to the floor is a constant occurrence. I am excited about these!

(I am not in any way affiliated with this company or getting paid to promote these, I’m just excited and hope they help other disabled folk too).

[manorlake22]

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[seokjinsonlyone]

this what i think bts love language is

a/n: this just my thoughts besties i ain’t do no formal type of research or nun just let my lil imagination sprint 🥸🤪

namjoon:

physical affection/words of affirmation

okay so i said physical affection for one bc like he seem to like initiate contact with people around him a lot

like in interviews he be having his hand on whoever next to him thigh or like when he be performing if it’s someone next to him he throws his arms around them a lot

not to mention like whenever jimin or jk or whoever start feeling up on him he never rejects it or makes a face or anything like yoongi does he just accepts it

like there’s so many stage clips where jimin will come and rest his chin on joon’s shoulder and he just lets him

or jk will just start touching on him some way grabbing his arms or sumn and it doesn’t phase him at all

another example is like on day 2 of sowoozoo when tae randomly came and linked arms with him and hobi during mikrokosmos hobi was like 🥴🥴 but joon was just 😌

and then there was that magic shop muster moment when jk was talking about how much he loved joon and how he was his beginning you know as president of the joon fan club does and namjoon couldn’t help but to go over and give his number one admirer a hug you know the moment

same thing with compliments he lowkey be eating them up

like you know how whenever hobi gets complimented he be like “😶 don’t say those things” joon don’t do that

like when they was asked to take their jackets off during the butter shoot and namjoon was like yeah okay and everyone started hyping him up and he was just 💁🏼‍♂️😜

and again on day 2 sowoozoo when he pushed his hair back from his forehead and everyone went OHHHHHSWJJSJS SEXY NAMJOON and then he decided to murder us all by tilting his head back on top of that adding insult to injury i would insert the picture but for my mental health i will not

and again whenever they talk about him being such a great leader he never shies away from it doesn’t cringe always accepts it so you know it must mean a lot for him to hear those things

aside from that tho he’s such a poetic person

like he is definitely involved in an intimate affair with language so there’s no way he wouldn’t appreciate you verbally telling him how he makes you feel

like just think about how many times he’s said he wants to sit down with each army and listen to their story

that being said if this was your man i think you’d definitely have to both show and tell him how you feel

like if he was about to head out for work you definitely got to kiss him before he leaves

and if you on the phone with him the last words you’re saying are i love you

and he’s definitely gonna cherish it each time always gonna have that cute little smile dimples caved in his cheeks bc you love him and he feels it

seokjin:

acts of service/words of affirmation

alright so ngl the reason i said acts of service for seokjin is like almost 100% based on his reaction to tae setting up that birthday event for him where he had his friends send him messages

he talked about it for WEEKS like he was genuinely so moved that i just like he has to love it

and then there’s like how much he bothers jk to like do simple stuff like i’m specifically thinking about that one moment in bon voyage 4 when he was sitting down at the table and called jk to help him up

and then there’s also little things he does for others like when he peeled tae’s tangerines for him or when he offered to feed yoongi bc he was driving or how he always offers bites of his food before even gets a chance to taste it

now i say words of affirmation bc he always searching for a compliment

my minds going to when jk hurt his foot and jin was pushing him in the wheelchair and kept feeding him lines to say about how he was such a good hyung and how he loves him

or in the behind the scenes for the boy with luv video and he kept tryna get tae to compliment him for being witty

and my boy never misses a chance to introduce himself as worldwide handsome

even though he does a lot of those things jokingly there are moments when he’s serious too about giving compliments and shy when he receives them like in those be interviews when he called jk a singing genius and jungkook was talking about how he had the most range and he got all ☺️☺️

or that moment from in the soop when he was comforting yoongi about like not having regrets and when yoongi told him he wanted to be like him just those kinds of moments let me know words are important to him

which just made me remember how hard he tries with his lyrics and how important they are to him like when he was writing awake and he talked about how he kept getting rejected but he was super insistent bc it was important for him to sing the words he wrote and don’t even get me started on moon i just-

anyway jin done said many times he is a man of the present so if you’re with him you gotta actively show/tell him

if you’re at the store pick him up some gummies

if you know he’s got a long day ahead of him maybe pack him some snacks to take with him in the morning

if his hair looks nice tell him

send him messages throughout the day even if he can’t respond immediately

he claims he’s a man of the present but whenever he takes a moment to reminisce the past he’ll look back and know just how much you care about him

yoongi:

quality time/acts of service

listen as much as this man loves spending time alone the time he spends with others means a lot to him

like how he always go fishing with jin even tho he ain’t particularly fond of it

or how like in in the soop he had made plans to play games with jimin and did so extensively

also from in the soop when he had spent most of his day outside reading but then he had heard everyone starting to make the theme song and immediately ran to get his equipment to record and what not

not to mention his poem from the end of that one run episode where they went on like a mini trip or whatever and he was like “what a relief that we have seven members. what a relief that we have each other.”

like being all together is important to him

like i just think about that one scene from one of they movies ion remember which one but they were all gathered around the table and it was when he had told them how he actually hurt his shoulder and they was talking about how they was worried about jk and how he need to come out his room and it’s not even the content of the scene but just like the fact that he ain’t have to be there but he was

and also can’t neglect to mention how he whined for y e a r s about how ain’t nobody come to visit him on set when he was filming the videos for his first mixtape like mans wouldn’t let that go and then how touched he was when they made appearances on his daechwita set even if he couldn’t express it properly

and how he begged for them to make cameos in the video and how happy he was when jin and jk did

and he doesn’t ever forget to mention whenever him and hobi hang out he’s like yeah we went for a drink and dinner and talked and blah blah

he loves it when people make an effort to be around him

now acts of service i got this all on a whim okay like… listen… we all been there we have all watched an ideal type video on youtube don’t lie okay

and up there it be like he want someone to bring him food in the studio and take care of him and stuff like that and in this case the math maths

you really can see that in how he treats others

like just the other day i saw a gifset somewhere and the boys were like yeah yoongi always takes care of us he don’t make eye contact tho

not to mention how he always cooks for them when they go on trips

and even though he ain’t give seokjin his song yet we know it’s coming! eventually!

and whenever they be ganging up on jungkook yoongi always the first one to be like “stooooppp you gon make him cry”

my baby just always be doing little things for others to show he cares okay 🥺

so if you got with my baby you gotta take care of him 🥺🥺🥺

he really needs someone that understands him bc he not gonna say anything

if you’re all hanging out together make sure you’re by his side so he knows you want to be there with him

if he’s busy stuck in his studio drop by even if you just end up laying on the couch he’s gonna appreciate you just being with him

and bring food my baby getting buff he need all the veggies and protein he can get

hoseok:

receiving gifts

i really had to think about this one but once i connected the dots yeah it makes total sense

like he looooves shopping loves getting stuff so when other people give him stuff i know he just 🥰🥰🥰

hobi lights up when he gets gifts they don’t always have to be big but i know he very much appreciates them

like how in the army corner store festa video when asked to bring something meaningful to them he brought those figurines which was the first gift a fan gifted him

which makes me think about how those limited edition figurines dropped and hobi was like i need to get one for namjoon and then namjoon was like i need to get one for hobi and so they ended up with like two of them or something like that

also from festa in the little photo booth mission every time he won a prize he was like yaaasss omg and was thinking of ways to put it to use like when he got that picture frame he immediately stuck them film strips in it he probably got it hanging in his room or in his studio by now tbh

and i think it was on the canada run bts episode where jk bought him those slippers and he was super happy

even when they were in hawaii and him and jin were hungry on the bus and he asked jin for gummies like ofc jin had to get on his nerves first but when he finally gave him his snacks he went from 😐 to 😚

or how he still has that change purse that namjoon bought him in malta (probably still got the money in there too tbh)

speaking of malta got me thinking about how tae went out of his way to win hobi that flamingo bc he said he’d never seen one and when tae gave it to him he went parading it around telling everyone that tae won it for him and then said he was gonna put it in his studio

and he got that chicken leg pillow they gave him from you quiz on the couch in his studio

and i think it was from the 2020 winter package he was so happy when jin bought him those ugly little troll elf things with the hat you know what i’m talking about

and he commented like three times when jungkook drew that picture of him for his birthday

and we know mans be giving gifts too

like how he got yoongi that coffee truck on the set of daechwita

and when they were on the speak yourself tour and he went out shopping on a day off and bought jin a sweater or something

and how he slaved through like 2 or 3 lives making bracelets for the members and then gave it to them on the bang bang con live

and the most devastating one of all when they had to give each other gifts i think it was on the run episode with all the water games but i could be wrong anyway and like most of them gave each other gag gifts like their merch or whatever but hobi gave jimin (and the rest of the members) a cd for his song promise it had a little photo book in it and everything 😭😭😭

so like whoever gets with this fine specimen gon have to throw a few dollars together to make sure this man is kept

not really i’m sure he doesn’t expect you to sell your car for a gucci peacoat or your soul for a rolex

but if you did decide to save up for some time to get him a little extravagant gift i know he’d more than appreciate it

more often than not though it’d be the little things that got to him like if you bought a simple t shirt from the store but then kinda like upcycled it drew little doodles on it wrote “i’m your hope” somewhere on it there would definitely be a picture uploaded of him on weverse or twitter wearing it

or if you decided to compile the pictures of you two together into a scrapbook or something he’d keep it somewhere accessible like in a drawer in his desk in his studio and flip through it with a little smile on his face when he’s missing you

and even if it was something even smaller than that like say he mentioned in passing that like idk he was out of eggs or something and you bought him some he just might marry you

jimin:

physical affection/quality time

the first thing that comes to mind with this for jimin is how he comforts his boys

like there’s so many behind the scenes clips from tour where like jk or tae will be upset with their performance and crying and jimin would be the one to come up behind them and hug them and wipe their tears

same concept for that one moment in bon voyage 3 when they told him that tae was crying and he just kinda hugged him and wiped his tears and hovered around him to make sure he was okay

or when they left hobi at the gas station in bon voyage 4 and then went back to pick him up he still hugged hobi even as he was laughing evilly

also in bon voyage 4 when they went on that helicopter tour and they was on the mountain and him and tae tackled each other and was rolling in the snow

and he is just like always in jk arms like he just jumps on him for no reason like in that video where lee hyun is acting as one of bts’ management

also in the behind from i think when they were practicing for the 2019 bbmas i believe at some point jungkook was holding that man spinning him in circles or sumn like that

and there’s also that one comeback show when him and tae were in the comic book cafe and they were just cuddled up together looking at tae’s phone practicing english i think

and on that one joon live when him and tae crashed and just caused a whole lot of commotion i’m pretty sure at one point they were cuddled on the couch and then jimin told tae his breath stinks and tae proceeded to open his mouth over the air purifier

anyway clearly he is a man with hands

but he also is someone who loves to spend time together it’s important to him

like i just think about how when they had their “break” back in 2019 he talked about how he just traveled the entire time and he went with various friends and family

and i’m pretty sure it was bon voyage 3 when they were doing their friendship trips and trying to make fresh pairings or whatever he was like i don’t think there’s any surprising pairing with me and it’s like… that’s true

like you got minimoni, minimini, jikook etc… all tried tested and true man gets around his band

and he’s the main one who’s always like “yeah bro we should live in the dorms until we’re 50”

and he always talks about how he can’t be alone and how he’s always gotta be doing something with someone

and his lives!!! his lives!!!! when he spends time with us it’s always so intimate and personable

like you can’t tell me that i ain’t have dinner with him and jin after a show in the hotel room and we drank off camera even after the staff told us we couldn’t 😤🤚

there’s also that time he went live and someone said they had some kind of condition and then he took it upon himself to look it up and try to find treatments

just liiiike whenever he goes live every minute counts bro and yes this is me trying to summon him bc we ain’t had a solo jimin live since october and i know they super busy but i miss 😓😓😓

so for this mans i just feel like you just gotta really be with him

just like he makes every second count you have to as well

like he’s gonna want to have your full attention and you’ll definitely have his he’ll be obsessed with you tbh

however he doesn’t always have the time and his schedule definitely isn’t the most accommodating so he’s gonna want someone to put in the effort

but as long as you make sure he knows you’re all in he’ll always meet you halfway

taehyung:

words of affirmation

now this one has been stated explicitly multiple times and he’s admitted it himself

specifically during let’s bts in their segment within the segment and namjoon was like taehyung the kind of person who grows from compliments

and i ain’t even got the right words to express how i feel about the smile he couldn’t help when hobi had them all tell tae that they like him

not to mention the story he told during the festa video last year about how he always tried his very best to get hobi to praise him and how disappointed he was when hobi didn’t get it

and i may be tripping but didn’t like earlier this year he didn’t post on weverse or twitter for like a month or so because he wanted to keep seeing us say how much we miss him???

and in bon voyage season 2 when they had to write letters to each other and he wrote his to jimin and then cried when he read it

there’s also a moment in bon voyage 4 when he and rm were about to sleep in the same space and he asked joon if he could cuddle him and joon was like 🥴🤚 how bout no and tae was like you do like me right? and rm was like yeah of course but let’s not cuddle bro

also in that weverse magazine interview they did he talked about how depressed he got when they weren’t able to perform and he only felt happy for a while when he was able to communicate with us

and in turn he’s very verbally supportive as well

like at that one fan sign they was talking about bon voyage and they asked army which season they liked better 1 or 2 and someone said 1 and taehyung was like “😐 now why would you say that bc namjoon won’t even in that” even though really it was only like 1 or 2 episodes he missed out on

and like he’s always hyping seokjin up like when they were doing the map of the soul 7 comeback live and jin was talking about how he wasn’t a good dancer and taehyung was like 😡 don’t say that bc it’s not true you’re good and you always been good

and in the let’s bts thing again it was important for him to let jimin know that he likes him best like they really are best friends y’all 😭

and when he talks about how much he loves suga’s raps

and that moment in the soop when he set up a date for him and jungkook to talk out whatever tension they had or whatever

and how during those individual be interviews he had hobi flustered when he complimented his passion for music

and he always be saying like the most comforting stuff on weverse letting army know he’s there as a source of comfort at all times even when he can’t be

like this man is literally the creator of borahae meaning that we’ll love and support each other for a long time

so if you get with tae communication is key!!!

you gotta tell him how you feel about him

if you’re out and about and see something that reminds you of him? tell him. if you like his hair that day? tell him. if he does something that pisses you off? tell him. if you miss him? tell him. if you love him? tell him.

like y’all gon talk about everything and nothing at all some days you’ll be discussing aliens and parallel universes other days you’ll be like discussing the future of your relationship

and ya know he a busy man so you not always gon be having long and drawn out heart to hearts so i think he’d love it if you just sent messages throughout the day something that let him know you were thinking of him even if it’s just a picture of a possum you chased down or if you spammed him with tiktoks you thought he’d like

he’d be looking at his phone like 🥰🤳 thinking about how much he loves you

jungkook:

physical affection

now this lil menace right here is touchy

always down for a cuddle

like on the canada episode of run when they were about to pick out rooms and he was like firmly latched onto hobi on the couch while they waited

and when they were practicing home for the magic shop muster and yoongi sat in the arm chair and immediately jk sat in his lap and tae sat in his lap

or how in in the soop after they were done eating he just went and latched onto jin’s back

and how tae had went to go wake jk up that one time and they ended up falling asleep

or how jk had went to wake up jimin that one time and they ended up falling asleep

there was just a lot of jk cuddles going on in in the soop so i’ll move on

let’s talk about the pool water debate run episode where in the end jk decided to latch onto jin’s back yet again

i’ll take this moment to mention the jinkook moment that lives in my head rent free for no valid reason it’s from the life goes on countdown video where they were reading the post cards and he was wearing that big pink sweatshirt and jin was wearing that pink and black bomber jacket and jk just grabbed jin’s arm and held onto it and played with it and when he was done he just threw it away i… i think about that moment a lot there’s an entire section in both my head and heart dedicated to that moment anyway continuing on

i’ll talk about that time they were backstage for a show and they had them blow up mattresses and suga was minding his business resting and jk just rolled up and moved his legs and laid beside him and then hobi decided to pile on top

and whenever they’re on stage he’s always the most delighted when joon would suggest a hug he’d be the first one over there nose scrunched up giggling he loves it

there’s also many instances in interviews and lives where he just can’t keep him hands to himself

just like that last butter live when tae ended up with a crown of forks thanks to mr kook

and he never misses an opportunity to feel up joon

which makes me remember that time he kissed namjoon on the forehead

and he is just always carrying jimin for some reason

so in conclusion… physical affection

and if he was your mans you’d be on the frontlines of receiving all he has to give

not necessarily in public or around a lot of people but in a space where you both were comfortable yes

you’d just have to accept that when you’re standing around he’s going to give you a shoulder/neck/back massage for no particular reason

and he will latch onto you in different positions for extended periods of time

and you gotta do the same! like that’s your man! go give him a hug! a kiss! let him know you love him

cuddle up to him while y’all chilling watching tv

hold his hand while y’all talking

just like grab onto him and never let him go

he’ll be hoping you don’t

[loki-zen]

I’m not gonna do a point by point @discoursedrome because this is starting to get unfun for me as a discourse topic but tbh i think you’re weirdly focused on defining ‘disabled’ and i don’t really see why that’s necessary. Like when I say people are kidding themselves that disabled people are far fewer than they really are all I mean is they’re kidding themselves that their mental model of Standard Human Being Who Needs No Help Or Accommodations Ever is a fair approximation of far more of all of the people than it really is.

And I think you’re way too dismissive of the ways in which a single accommodation can vastly increase accessibility for whole swathes of people.

Take for example a doctor’s office committing to communicating by email as well as telephone. This accommodates Deaf and Hard of Hearing people, people with sensory processing issues that make it hard to hear people on the phone, people with anxieties affecting their ability to make phone calls, people who speak English as a second language and find it easier to read and compose text at their own pace, and also people who just for a host of other reasons can’t randomly make or receive phone calls during the working day. It even automatically creates a record of what was said so that people who are forgetful and/or have low executive functioning resources to spare - whether because they’re ND or just Like That or because they have a full time job and two kids under five - can check back on it.

Or take the automatic door at that same doctors office. If you’re in a wheelchair you need it. If you’re pushing a pushchair, or have a baby in your arms, or have one arm and are carrying something, or have arthritis and it hurts to push doors open, or have weird autistic extra-tasks and crossing-thresholds problems, or are germphobic and don’t want to touch door handles, it’s invaluable.

If you thought about any of these things only in the narrow terms you’re promoting - only in terms of what benefit there might be to people with one specific issue that definitely is ‘a disability’ and not anything else - they would seem totally not worth it, probably. And that’s why that sort of framing is harmful.

I think you’re also underestimating the potential benefit of having the staff at the doctor’s office trained to expect that people trying to use the doctor’s surgery are quite likely to have disabilities - it’s a doctor’s office after all - including ones that might produce needs that haven’t been specifically accounted for, and then the staff would be given the flexibility to make adjustments on the fly and praised for doing so.

As opposed to the status quo where pretty much all frontline staff in anything ever increasingly have zero discretion about how they do anything and will get in trouble if they deviate from The Script.

The Script is based on the idea that there’s such a thing as The Consumer, basically. And what’s important is that people learn that that’s at best an abstraction and, mostly, a lie it’s just a lie; the healthcare system for instance is set up for the convenience of a Healthy Patient who isn’t even a majority of the ‘at least 51%’ kind for most practical purposes bc surprise, Perfectly Healthy people go to the doctor less, but also fucking c’mon man it’s not okay to take just anyone’s/everyone’s (delete as appropriate for your country/healthcare system) money and dispense a service that’s ‘cost efficient’ bc it can treat the most ‘normal’ and ‘textbook’ and ‘no other problems having’ ~80% of people really quickly and cheaply while throwing everyone else on the garbage heap to die.

Like in my ideal world other stuff would be accessible too (maybe it would even be different mechanisms that wind up making this happen*) but essential services first.

It legit doesn’t matter where you draw the lines. It’s just important to recognise that there’s no essential difference between glasses and a wheelchair. Hell, there’s no essential difference between a wheelchair ramp and a road. (As a society, we have put vast amounts of resources into accommodating assistive technology that allows humans to overcome their endemic disability of not being able to walk 30 miles in half an hour.)

*I kind of remain flabbergasted that pure market forces don’t seem to have incentivised the existence of one pub/restaurant/cafe in a given city distinguishing itself from competitors by actively striving to be (and marketing itself as) ‘the place you can actually hear your friends talk’, which would also make it uncommonly accessible to people like me with sensory sensitivities and/or auditory processing problems.

Even aside from the draw for totally non disabled people, I feel like while there probably aren’t enough of us by ourselves making money to financially support this, when you add in the fact that if somewhere like this existed i would always go here with all of my friends and my family and their wallets pretty much any time I went to town, (and if I knew about one in another town I would go there every time I went to that town, and honestly be much more likely to visit that town because I would know there was somewhere I could socialise with people) and I would win all arguments about which place to go to because of the reasoning, and people diagnosed with stuff like I have are disproportionately likely to have pretty well off families, it kinda seems like a slam dunk that could surely find ways to compensate for the inability to make people drink faster by turning the music up.

I mean, tbh, late capitalism and all - for all I know this totally would be viable and make shit tons of money but can’t exist bc it doesn’t sound good to a few wealthy investors

[cripplecharacters]

I have a few questions, hope that’s fine. Is there a specific term used for people who are without a limb/limbs who were born that way and are not amputees? Is it difficult to use a wheelchair for the first time for arm strength reasons? I imagine it would be tiring. For hospital wheelchairs, what specifically about them makes it difficult to push oneself around. Finally, do hospitals offer support areas/groups for people who are without a limb to connect with one another? Thank you very much :)

Hey anon! There are a few different terms used-- people born without part/all of their limb(s) often also consider themselves amputees; congenital amputees instead of acquired amputees. 

It is difficult to use a wheelchair for the first time due to a lack of arm strength, inexperience with how to use a wheelchair (it’s more than just grabbing the wheels and pushing), and it can be quite tiring. 

For hospital wheelchairs, they have multiple design features that make them safer to transport people in hospital settings, who may be unaccustomed to using wheelchairs, sick injured or newly disabled, or unconscious; in addition, hospital wheelchairs are ‘one size fits all,’ making them reusable from patient to patient. All of this leads to high backs and armrests, which get in the way of an effective propelling motion, a fit that may be too large or small, which leads to poor posture and form, and wheelchairs that potentially need servicing.

And lastly, as far as I’m aware, most hospitals don’t specifically offer these groups, but should be able to provide information of groups that do. They may also offer general programs for people experiencing extended stays, depending on the hospital.

[inkabelledesigns]

Today I'm gonna talk about some things that are not the norm for me. Clip Studio Paint has announced that Version 2 of their program will have a subscription based model for its updates, and a lot of people are upset about it. I absolutely get why, I'm not happy about it either, but I wanna look at this a little more to see what we’re dealing with and talk about why it’s a concern.

It’s important to link your sources, so here’s the article from the CSP team that talks about what’s coming down the pipeline, so that you can come to your own conclusions if you choose to read it for yourself.

https://www.clipstudio.net/en/news/202208/22_01/

Before I talk about what Clip is doing, let me give you some context on my background with Clip as well as where I come from as an artist. I was a graphic design major for four years at two different schools, and after graduation, I worked at yet another school in IT, and a lot of why they wanted me in that job was because I could help the art students. I dealt with the Adobe Creative Cloud Suite for a long time, learned a lot about open source software, and have been recommending Clip for years because of my experiences with those other programs.

One of the reasons Clip Studio Paint is so beloved by many artists is because it’s a one time purchase. I got my copy of it on sale for $25 back in 2016. It is now 2022, and I have continued to use it reliably for all this time. It still functions on the most recent system I have, Windows 11, and the program has been receiving updates for years so it can still function. What’s happening right now is that Version 1, which is the version all of us have right now in 2022, is going to stop receiving updates. Clip Studio Paint Version 2 is currently being worked on to replace it, and THAT is what is being given a subscription service. Version 1 users like myself are fine. They aren’t making us pay for Version 1 again, and we’ll still get bug fixes for a little while until they release Version 3, which is a ways away. The only question that really remains there is how long they’ll still sell Version 1 going into 2023, and that we don’t know. Version 2 is the thing that’s going to have a subscription service, but the base program is a flat fee that they say should be similar to the original price of Version 1. Given Version 1 is a very reasonable price (even more so on sale), this is good news. So the idea is that you pay for the program upfront and can keep it forever, but if you want to have any of the cool new features that come as they update it, you have to pay an annual subscription fee. Clip has offered a ton of updates to the program over the years, so I’m imagining this is going to be in the form of new tools that take a lot of effort to program. Like it took us years to get stuff like the liquify tool, the ability to import Photoshop brushes, and a timelapse feature into Version 1, and if they’re gonna keep adding stuff like that, it takes a lot of time, effort, and funding. Usually when an art program requires a completely new version, it’s because they need a new system to more efficiently code everything in. It’s why you saw Adobe’s suites of CS1 through CS6, or why the Sims needs a new base game to implement something like wheelchairs, the current iteration would need to be massively reworked to have certain new features, it makes more sense to just build something new that can better accommodate it. I don’t know what exactly it is they’re adding that warrants a whole new version, but I’m curious to find out. Clearly there must be some testing going on, right? The thing that I think we’re all concerned about is what Version 2′s base version will include. Like, is it going to be a bare bones, stripped down version that’s a cash grab to use any of the basic or fancy tools? Or is it going to be like the Clip we know now with some minor/major improvements? After all, Clip has a lot you can do with it. I love that every tool has stabilization options (I’ve got a disability that affects my fine motor skills, so that’s a godsent for my line art), and that importing of Photoshop brushes has genuinely changed my art game, there’s so many paths that’s opened up for me as an artist. At the same time, there’s a lot of tools that I just, don’t use in Clip, they aren’t a part of my workflow. The thing about an annual subscription is that there’s a lot I just won’t utilize, but a choice few things I probably would use, and I’d rather have the option to just pick and choose the tools I want for a price and keep them forever. I dunno how difficult that would be to code, so I understand if they can’t do that, but if possible, I think that’d be a better way to tackle this. That takes the pressure of a time limit or a lack of internet connection away, which is something a subscription service introduces into the mix that’s unnecessary.

When a lot of artists saw this, I think we all jumped to the conclusion that this is just like what Adobe did. For those of you who don’t use the Adobe Creative Cloud Suite, let me fill you in. I had to use it as a college student, as it’s the industry standard for graphic design and other creative fields, and I had to work with it a lot when I worked in IT, as my primary task was helping art students navigate it (when I wasn’t fixing printers). The Creative Cloud is a collection of all of Adobe’s programs, and it’s subscription based. You pay for it for a year or two for hundreds of dollars, get access to all of their programs or just the Photoshop bundle, and you renew again when it runs out. The price wasn’t reasonable back in 2018, even with a Student Discount like I had, and after my two years ran out, I did not renew. I turn off auto renewal by default on all my programs, but if you were an unlucky soul that didn’t, and you forgot to cancel, you were in for a nasty surprise. They charge a cancellation fee that’s almost as much as the software itself, which is just unreasonable. The need for an internet connection to log into this suite and verify it was also obnoxious, it made it so much less accessible for people without a consistent connection. Updates were done sloppily, some straight up broke the programs, features would be removed or replaced without any sort of warning, especially during auto-updates, and it was just, a hassle. The fact that you never had a base version of the programs sucked, but even worse was that you ended up paying for a bunch of stuff you didn’t need. I only needed Photoshop, Illustrator, and InDesign for my school work and most graphic design stuff, unless you go into stuff with video and motion graphics, then you needed After Effects and Premiere, but like, I didn’t need the rest of it. Sure, because I had it, I learned how to use Audition, and one class for one project made me use Flash, but I didn’t need them all the time. If I’d had more room to customize my package, it would’ve been better, that sucked.

But the biggest thing Adobe did that pissed people off was try to take away people’s older versions of the software. Yeah, because you have to log into your Adobe account to activate the codes for everything, they have an eye on you, and they sent tons of users messages that their versions were “illegitimate” and that they had to upgrade. It was scummy as heck. Using an older version of software that you have paid for (which wasn’t cheap mind you) should not make it illegitimate, you don’t just change the terms of the user agreement/contract without warning, how dare you. Thankfully there are tons of guides to bypass this, but like, there shouldn’t have to be, it’s ridiculous. Thankfully CSP’s team has not done that, and if they know what’s good for them, they won’t ever do that.

I’ve seen a lot of people screaming on Twitter they’re going to pirate CSP as a result of these changes, and I kind of need them to chill out for a second. Look, what you do on your own time is your business, as long as you understand what the consequences are of your actions, far be it from me to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. But one of the consequences of screaming you’ll pirate things is that it puts pressure on the company to make their stuff harder to pirate and harder for those of us who use it legitimately. So in the interest of trying to keep Clip accessible, could we please just, be a little more thoughtful in public? Not to mention like, there’s tons of open source software out there that’s really good, and I feel like it’d be more productive to go and uplift those programs rather than use illegal copies of stuff. Like I get it, I had a cracked version of Paint Tool Sai when I started out with art, because I didn’t know any better and it came from a friend who didn’t disclose all the information about it. Just, there are so many issues with creating artwork for stuff like commissions on an illegal version of a piece of software, and the last thing I want is to see my fellow artists get into trouble with the law. 

A lot of people are recommending alternatives to Clip Studio Paint. While you can still use Version 1 until your computer’s hardware no longer supports it (which is likely for a good long while), I think that’s still a good thing to look into. Knowing a variety of programs can be a useful skill, though I support working in a way that you vibe with if there isn’t an industry standard to comply with (that’s why Adobe gets away with half the stuff they pull, until someone knocks them out of being the standard, they can do whatever they want). What you’re looking for is likely going to be paid software if you want something with the level of quality Clip has. For artists like me that need stabilization, that’s a bit harder, I know Sai has it, but Sai was tricky to figure out how to purchase, and I hope that’s changed since the last time I looked (also has Sai 2 come out? I haven’t kept up with this). I know Krita has it, and Krita is open source, meaning it’s free and legal to use, but the interface is a little confusing to use and has a steep learning curve, but it’s almost comparable to Photoshop. I mean if it’s good enough for one of the primary artists on Freedom Planet 2 to replace their entire Adobe Suite for it, then clearly it must have something going for it (and it does, painting, photo editing, and animation are all things you can do in it). But for some people, maybe FireAlpaca is a better fit, another great open source program. Highly encourage my younger/inexperienced digital artists out there to check out open source stuff when you’re learning before upgrading to a paid for software, it’s a good testing ground. And when you do have the cash for something shiny and new, consider going to Humble Bundle. While I have yet to see a painting/illustration program grace their page, they have tons of great deals on software packages, and the proceeds benefit a wide variety of charities. It’s how I got my video editing software of choice, Vegas Pro 16, for a very affordable price, and I love it, so always worth keeping an eye out for bundles and deals. If you’re looking for an app that works on mobile platforms, I can’t really help you there, but I encourage you to talk to artists that work in those spaces to learn from them. I’m not really into mobile art, I’m solidly a pen tablet and desktop girl, but if that’s the best way for your workflow, go for it!

Last point and then I’m done. Clip is known for being accessible, and I’m concerned about how accessible the new versions will be after this. There are a lot of people that come to mind when I think about a change to a subscription service model. I think about the students I used to work with that couldn't afford the software in addition to school, especially the ones that struggled to focus on the lab environment due to how loud and distracting it got. When you only have so much class time and don’t have a program at home to do your homework on, art studies are a nightmare. I think of the people who don't use technology a bunch and have a hard time navigating changes when they don't speak the language. I think of the people who live in the middle of nowhere or don't have access to consistent internet that can't download new updates so easily. I think of the teenagers who are just getting into digital art but can't make any decisions without a parent who has the credit card/needs to approve of said software. I think of the parents who don't understand the technology and why you'd need a subscription service. I think about the artists struggling with mental health stuff and physical/mental disabilities who can't fully utilize a subscription to get more bang for their buck, given how their bodies will fight against them in ways they can't always predict. I think of the artists with burnout who will waste their subscription for months when they can't get back up to create for a while. I think about the professionals and artists who take commissions that have deadlines, who need software functionality, fighting with their program at 3 in the morning when things go horribly wrong.

I think about all of these people and just how much more difficult this whole digital art thing becomes for them when a subscription based model is introduced, how much more complicated it gets. I've seen all of them get screwed over by the Adobe Creative Suite, I don't want to see the same happen to them with Clip Studio Paint. I don't want to see a change in policy that makes this more difficult for everyone on all sides of it. I want the consumer to have fair choices about what they can do going forward as well as Clip's development team gaining enough revenue so that they can continually improve the software and have stable income for their employees. The people who code these art programs work hard to do what they do, coding is not easy, and I want to see them continue with it and have a comfortable income situation throughout the process, just as I want to see my fellow artists succeed in their fields with a comfortable income and personal fulfillment. At the end of the day, the summary is this: Clip Version 1 is fine, nothing is happening to it. Clip Version 2 is coming and has an annual subscription based service for adding new features to the program, along with an option to have just the base program with one payment with no extra features. We don’t know what the base program will look like or what features they’ll be adding in via the service, and it’s hard to make a judgment call as to whether or not it’s worth it without those details. This is a lot of waiting and seeing.

And if we want this to change, we should have a constructive dialogue about it where/when we can, along with using their website feedback form, so that the CSP team understands our concerns and we can find a solution together. There have been many times in the past where they’ve come to us, the user base, to talk about what should be improved with the program, and it benefits all parties for us listen to each other and talk about this like civilized adults. It is reasonable to be upset about this decision and express that, and it would also be in our best interest to be thoughtful about how we choose to express it and resolve it. I’ll admit, I jumped the gun a little when hearing about these changes (granted it was 1 in the morning and I was not in my right mind, but still, I should have behaved more like an adult, should not have broken my rule about not using social media after 9 pm). I get why people are concerned, no one wants to see a good program fall apart or destroy itself, and when you see the big dogs like Adobe doing it, you know everyone will want a piece of the action and copy it. Hopefully this is not the case here. I’m concerned for what the future will bring, because I love this program and I want to be able to use it for a long time, but I’m also hopeful. Thank you for reading, here’s sending you good vibes for the rest of your day.

[justice4falum]

do NOT give money to tumblr user roboticwheelchair

Hi, so you’ve probably seen this post or some of its permutations on this website lately! (The old version of this post broke because I mistakenly deleted it. Let’s try this again, shall we?)

This is a “RAFFLE” for a Nintendo Switch Lite and the poster is asking people send them $10 to earn a spot in the raffle, of which there are 52. People have already sent money in.

This post was made by user roboticwheelchair and the name which currently displays on their paypal is “Mick Garcia” - it’s very possible you’ve heard their story already from several weeks ago. User roboticwheelchair claims that they were physically assaulted for being a transgender man, and that they sustained a concussion.

The BAD news is that roboticwheelchair is a blog which has been on tumblr for a very long time, and used to belong to someone named Falum Gibson. You may have heard this name from their #justice4falum campaign ages ago. They are a notorious scammer and has been doing this since 2016. LET’S REVIEW (LONG, LONG, LONG POST AHEAD.)

Part 1: #BieberMeetFalum and Meeting Ed Sheeran

In 2016, Falum ran a Justin Bieber fan account on Twitter called @bieberfreezer (account has since been suspended). They began a campaign called #BieberMeetFalum by posting a Twitter thread about their disability, cerebral palsy, and how they had intended to meet Justin Bieber personally because his music was important to them. However, the venue he was performing at was not wheelchair accessible and Falum uses an electric wheelchair. They were trying to get the attention of him or his team in order to ensure they met. (LINK)

This was a reasonable thing to post about! Accessibility is a necessity. We know this. And they weren’t asking for money. Twitter got this the attention it needed and they were able to meet Bieber despite the trouble. (LINK)

Later on, they gunned to meet Ed Sheeran and succeeded.

Part 2: #TaylorNoticeFalum

In 2018, Falum was on Tumblr as user taylorsgetawaycarxo. At this point they still say they have cerebral palsy, but has also said they have COPD (something they later will drop.) Claiming that they are terminally ill and has 2 years left to live, they talk about how Taylor Swift is their idol and they want to meet her before they die.

This came right after they had done the same thing with Demi Lovato fans, claiming they idolised Demi and needed to meet her, so on and so forth. They ran a GoFundMe for this. 

The GoFundMe is now defunct, but the URL was “falumlastwish” I believe. Here’s where the plot gets a little lost, because the sheer number of different GoFundMes, donation posts, and meet-a-celebrity campaigns that Falum was running in these couple of years is... pretty wild. There’s a post from another blog here on Tumblr about the Taylor Swift fandom’s run-in with them. (LINK) 

Here’s a GoFundMe they ran from a music fan account on Instagram, where they were asking for help escaping homelessness. They raised almost 5,000 dollars out of the 10,000 they were asking. (LINK)

At some point they also ran a GoFundMe for a PTSD service dog. I’m not sure how much they were asking for this one, but they apparently made $880 off of it. 

Part 3: Ellie Elizabeth

This part is a little muddled, because the tumblr blog connected to it has been deleted and it’s really difficult to find archives of the posts, but at some point in early 2019 Falum started using the blog ellie-elizabeth21 to ask for money as well. The story was that they were being sent to conversion therapy for being bisexual by their father, who had them deemed legally mentally incompetent. Further stories they posted about were potential evictions, needs for grocery money, etc.

Here’s a link to an imgur album of some of the posts this account made. Many of them achieved their goal of over $200 or more. (LINK)

“Ellie” also ran a GoFundMe to escape conversion therapy. Although the person running the campaign was listed as Ellie Elizabeth, the “beneficiary” listed on the campaign is Falum Gibson, proving that Ellie was another pseudonym - just a better hidden one. Here’s the link to that GoFundMe, where you can see it for yourself. (LINK)

This was Ellie Elizabeth’s PayPal account at the time, I believe? And anyway, you might note that they apparently made nearly $6,500 on this account.

Part 4: #Justice4Falum

Now in November of 2019, Falum moved away from the world of Fan Internet and decided to try out something new. They made the blog roboticwheelchair in September of 2019 and reblogged a photoset of cats to it, which for a while was the only thing on the blog besides the donation post they initially made. They’ve gone through a cycle of reblogging and deleting things there, basically clearing out the blog every couple of weeks to make a new post.

At this point they were also @falumgibson on Twitter. The account has since been locked. This is when they posted a GoFundMe describing medical abuse they were allegedly undergoing at the Ottawa Hospital. Weird side note, this GoFundMe is still running and can be donated to, though obviously I’m recommending you don’t do so. (LINK)

They made several donation posts on Tumblr about this campaign, frequently linking it or their PayPal account and asking people to donate. Sometimes it was to go directly to their legal fund for this lawsuit, other times they were asking for money for medications or other immediate costs.

Side note, they had claimed to be in the hospital since August of 2019 due to suicidal ideation and claimed they had been psych warded. From what I can tell, the Ottawa Hospital General Campus they claimed to be hospitalised at does not actually have a psychiatric ward. It has a mental health team, but they appear to do outpatient work. It’s not really clear what they were in the hospital for at this point.

#Justice4Falum was originally about fundraising for a place to live because apparently they were in danger of being forced to leave the hospital due to homelessness. Later on they turned it into a legal fund to sue the hospital for mistreatment.

Part 5: Further Fundraising, Coming Out As Trans

While Falum was in the hospital, they started identifying as nonbinary. I’m not in any position to speculate about whether or not Falum is transgender, because that’s honestly not the point. Either way, they have started using their trans identity in much the way they use their disabilities - as a way to garner sympathy and trust, and to scam people out of money.

On their Twitter at this point, they did seem to have kind of a bizarre interpretation of how transition worked and appeared to be under the impression that the first thing trans men do is get top surgery? (LINK)

Shortly after this, still during the November that #Justice4Falum ran during, they began asking for donations to a different PayPal account than their normal one, because their stepdad was dying of cancer. There was a GoFundMe for this as well, but it appeared to feature their parents and was possibly not created by Falum.

No date on this tweet unfortunately, but right after that, they made a post about how they had been outed to their transphobic father and needed to escape living with him.

At this point, Falum has added several diagnoses to those they claim to have. In addition to cerebral palsy, they now claim to have multiple sclerosis and several mental illnesses. No more COPD, though! I’m very impressed that they recovered from a terminal illness!

Now that they’re out of the closet, in early December they begin making donation posts on Tumblr again and have now made a Patreon. (LINK: POST) (LINK: PATREON) Soon after this, they apparently left their home and became homeless, and started posting about this on Twitter and linking their PayPal.

In late December they posted on Twitter about having attempted suicide by taking 75 extra strength Tylenol. Warning for a photograph of their IV in this link. (LINK)

Not very long after, Falum returned to their narrative of being terminally ill by posting about how their multiple sclerosis (something they have only claimed since 2019, I believe) causes them over 20 seizures a day and will eventually kill them. (LINK)

Then they locked their Twitter account and decided to try something new.

Part 6: Connor Kay, “anontransman”

Enter Connor Kay. At this point Falum makes a new Twitter account called @ConnorIsTrans which eventually morphs into @anontransman. They initially link this account to their old main account, saying that they’ve switched in order to be openly trans on their new account because their transphobic father is stalking them. (LINK)

They continue asking for donations on Twitter, now with a Ko-Fi account called Connor Rocks.

They also post a story about an ex-friend of theirs spitting on them for being trans, apparently, and say they’re calling the police on her, which really doesn’t seem like something that’d be safe for a disabled trans person to do but whatever. (LINK)

On their blog at roboticwheelchair, they post stories about how they are being assaulted and mocked for being transgender. I should note that on Twitter they’ve said they are not out IRL and have not taken steps to transition.

Not only does this particular story sound kind of like the “down with cis bus” post, it’s also somewhat suspect that they allege they were called a tr*nny as an AFAB trans person, given who is generally targeted by that word. But. Moving on.

When the COVID-19 pandemic came around, Connor created a Facebook group for disability support. This was run by the Facebook account Connor Kay, which has since been deleted. It was the same account that they used to have and they’d not changed anything except for the name; prior posts showed it was Falum Gibson’s account.

It turns out they deleted this Facebook account because someone on Facebook posted about their years-long history of scamming people online. Here’s a link to an imgur album of some of the Facebook callout and the images the OP posted. (LINK)

So Falum, or Connor, decides to start anew with an all new PayPal, Ko-Fi, Patreon and Twitter account. At this point they begin to break away from linking these accounts to the name Falum Gibson and their past donation posts, although they are still using the same Tumblr blog. They change their Twitter handle to @anontransman and remove links to Falum. (TWITTER SCREENCAP) (KO-FI SCREENCAP) (PATREON SCREENCAP)

Then they tweet about how they have been diagnosed with cancer. (LINK) Then they begin asking for $100k to go to the US for treatment. (LINK)

Soon after, this Tweet has been completely deleted and they have instead started asking for money for top surgery. (LINK) I believe this is in reverse chronological order, but here are a week’s worth of tweets from them - all deleted at random times in order to make room for the others - asking for money for various reasons. Yes, this was all literally within the same week. (LINK)

Note the very last image of that album contains a reference to an “Amazon Raffle” - they were basically telling people that donations would win them a spot in a raffle for an Amazon gift card or something? It seems they moved on from the @anontransman account before the raffle could come to fruition, or possibly that they just deleted all references to it. Not sure.

In April of 2020, roboticwheelchair posted a specific donation post about being attacked for being transgender and sustaining a concussion. They said they did not see a doctor after the assault because they didn’t think it was important, so their concussion went untreated and because of it they were unable to get groceries. The donation post linked to Connor Kay’s PayPal account. It was deleted and reposted several different times, with basically the same text.

Part 7: Mick Garcia

This is a more recent post with the exact same story, now about their multiple sclerosis medication. The only difference is now that the PayPal link sends you to the PayPal of Mick Garcia. Mick Garcia has a different PayPal username than Falum, Ellie, and Connor did.

On April 12th, the @anontransman account deactivated after Falum, or Ellie, or Connor, or Mick decided to leave Twitter. Then yesterday on April 19th, it reactivated and they tweeted once again.

However, around this same time, another Twitter account under the name Mick Garcia with an icon @anontransman used to use and a very similar tone/style cropped up.

The Mick Garcia account has not tweeted yet, as it appears that they may be staying with @anontransman for their current purposes, but it appears that for some reason or another they’ve decided to start going by Mick Garcia now.

I guess it’s probably relevant to note that while I suppose there are probably some white people out there with the last name Garcia, Falum is really seriously white and it’s suspect they would pick out Garcia as a pseudonym, whether they list “white” in their Twitter bio or not.

More from the current state of the roboticwheelchair blog includes many, many posts where they’re either reposting their own petitions or basically grabbing for as many followers as possible. You can probably guess why. (LINK)

As of April 20th, 2020, there are 2 donation posts still standing on their blog. Here are both of them. (LINK)

Finally, The Switch Raffle

Literally today, April 20th, roboticwheelchair posted something that is allegedly a raffle. They claim to be giving away a Nintendo Switch Lite to a lucky winner. There are 52 slots in the raffle; they are asking that people send them $10 over PayPal in order to enter. They’re also claiming this is to further fundraise for their medication.

They are claiming their doctor has put them on an MS medication that costs $450 every two weeks. (Note that if they’re trying to make money for that right now and also going to buy a Switch for the winner, than they’d only have about half of that at the end? The Switch Lite is about $260 in Canada and their total earnings from a full raffle would be $520.)

You should not give money to them for this raffle, or for any reason. The reason I’m compiling all of this is because after months of seeing them pull this scam over and over again, they’re now promising people an actual product that given their history, I would say they are highly unlikely to deliver.

Given their past, it is most likely they will delete this raffle once they have the money they want, and refuse to allude to it ever again. Or maybe they’ll just disappear! Or hell, maybe they’ll have some kind of nebulous problem ordering the Switch when someone wins, and that’ll be that.

But it’s clear based on this history, I hope, that Falum or Ellie or Connor or Mick has a long history of taking lots and lots of money from strangers online. Like, a lot of money. My estimate is that they’ve made over $15k on this, and that’s exclusively based off of the visible numbers on their GoFundMes and Ko-Fi accounts.

Please do not give this person your money. They are not trustworthy. There are other people who need it - like you, or maybe like, someone you personally know and not some complete stranger who keeps telling people they’re terminally ill so they can meet a cool musician.

Disclaimer

I’ve compiled all of this information to the best of my ability, but I am just one person and it took a lot of digging due to the deleted accounts involved.

Falum is actually disabled; I believe they do have cerebral palsy and may have other disabilities. I do not know if they really have MS, but it’s hard to trust them because they previously lied about having terminal COPD.

I have no idea if Falum is really transgender or not. They have apparently taken no concrete steps to transition, which I know means very little. That being said, if they are transgender, they are leveraging their identity in dangerous ways against other people for money and sympathy. Their stories about being assaulted by strangers for being transgender are highly suspect, given their lack of transition and the fact that the scenarios they describe are highly cliche.

Finally, I’m not trying to harass Falum or threaten them in any way. I don’t know them. If they’re interested in talking candidly about what they have been doing all these years and why, that’s fine. I would honestly love to understand, but at this point it seems like the only thing they can do is apologise for their dishonesty and stop doing this.

Reblog this post if you want! The point is to get the word out there, because this person has been a pervasive presence on this website for some time and has not yet been called out.

[thepringlesofblood]

heroforge hoes pt 2

this was really cathartic last time. I’m doing a shorter one now - miscellaneous guys + dimension 20 sidequest guys.

anyway, same deal, these are guys I made in heroforge and will take absolutely no criticism on, not a joke, i am sealing them away in the vault of widespread perception so I can stop obsessively editing them, so please do not correct/point out flaws no matter how well-meaning. i‘m doing this series for my mental health, not to be an artist.

as always, heroforge is a great service, when i bitch about them not having something it is with the greatest love and the understanding that it is a free service with no ads and limited staff, and also, as always, i will bring up the 21 kinds of eyebrow scars you can apply. you can hold both of these things in your hands at the same time.

links and screenshots. if the links broken and you wanna see a guy dm me

Athena Parthenos - this is specifically the iteration of athena represented by the giant ass statue that used to be in the parthenon but got looted by romans. yes i was a percy jackson kid. no this is not based in pjo/hoo canon. it is based on the nashville recreation of the parthenon and the athena parthenos inside it.

i couldn’t exactly put a smaller statue of nike on her hand so I went w the “summoned fairy” thing. they do give you the fuckin AEGIS with the gorgon face in it which is dope. it’s supposed to be leaning up against her and then she holds the spear straight up and down by her side, but I think I got pretty close. there’s also supposed to be a snake chilling by her side which is cool but no snake familiar :/ her dress is supposed to be just straight skirt right down to the ankles, but all the skirts they have are like weirdly puffy for the specific aesthetic we lookin for. I was very exited to make “the grey-eyed goddess” tho I love her.

i also took a shot at medusa. no option for snake hair (very understandable) but I did make her a naga!

the copper is only there for flavor bc no scale decals except for coral snake bands. this was the snakiest hair i could find and then put these two hat things that are squiggly and look snake-ish so it looks more alive. I think its a pretty good look. she’s a little fluorescent but this was before i really figured out the advanced levels of the coloration system. it still looks cool. also like i have always wondered exactly what medusa wears. she can’t go shopping, she can’t take clothes off of her victims bc they’ve been turned to stone. big brain take is that she’s naked but I figured since heroforge has like, a MILLION options to have ragged/dirty/torn clothes I’d use one of em. maybe the sails of the dead hero’s ship? that’s pretty metal.

I tried to think of what undertale character I could reasonably make (i did make sans but it was stupid easy and i don’t want to unleash him onto the universe) and the only other one I could imagine turning out well would be grillby, who I’ve always had a soft spot for

he is perfect. no complaints. 10/10 I love him.

I did stevonnie (riding “lion” (a pink warg)) from steven universe before I realized that the gem placement situation was going to be difficult with literally almost every character and decided to stop going down that particular road. I still think they look ok though. if you have Opinions about steven universe, don’t put them here. i do not care.

i reiterate: hf, let people hang onto the animals they are riding. pls.

also body hair decals would be great. i wanna give people leg hair!

ok onto d20 sidequest characters. ‘why only side-” its bc i have so many more for main quests i will have to split them up by arc

so. for tiny heist the only one I could really envision in hf was agnes (no cars, no legos clickos, bugs but not hercules beetles, if i can’t put bean in a full banana peel w a Q-tip is it even worth it, ti-83 maybe but the sized-up greebling wouldn’t really work)

so

agnes

so, you may ask, “thepringlesofblood, why is she in a wheelchair? that wasn’t in the campaign.”

so many things. this one was. hell. so, *mega spoilers for tiny heist* this is agnes near the end of her life, when she starts needing more support. i was going to do her in the hospital but idk if there’d be a hospital gown situation and i’m not about that *spoilers end*

so why did i make this wild creative choice?

this is what she looks like standing up

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP, HEROFORGE?

so in her official art, she has these iconic pink leopard-print leggings. and the only way I’d be able to do that is to make the leggings her actual legs, since you can’t put decals on clothes, but you can put them on bodies. so I gave her the “rosettes” decal and colored her legs pink. I figured I’d just make her lower half/legs slightly larger but. it didn’t work. the. the problem is the thigh gap. for me. itss. so big. and this is as thick as I could get her while still looking remotely proportional, bc the knees stay the same. the knees do not get bigger.

so whenever. you add weight. to the legs. it only makes the thighs and calves bigger. which is not how bodies work

i just. idk. why. its so hard to make fat people without making balloon animals, and i wasn’t even trying to make a fat person. in the official art agnes is fairly thin, with slightly thicker legs. i was just trying to make the legs a bit bigger to make up for the pants not being therebut. fuck. it don’t work.

the non-wheelchair options for sitting are barrel, rock, cargo crate, floor, and rough wooden chair, and she deserves something classier.

ok. to make up for dunking on hf so much for their body proportion issues, I will do 2 sincere compliments.

their wheelchair options are pretty solid. there’s “modern” “fantasy town” and “fantasy battle” and you can add/subtract handles and change the wheels. items equipped on the side don’t just clip through the chair, they get attached beneath the armrest. I’m not a wheelchair user so I’m no expert but it was refreshing at least.

the cigarette. so. what I did was i colored the end with fire, then put a decal of gray dustiness over is, so you can see the glow coming through it without it being really bright. it looks dope. that’s cool. thank u hf.

one surprising thing: there’s no basic “fairy” or “pixie” race. there’s a myriad of goblins, including “fairytale goblin” which is the skeleton i started from, but still. weird. plenty of fun wing options tho props.

also the big thing of powder is supposed to be fairydust - she needs some extra now that she’s getting older. or maybe rick’s been around. that color is one I basically created myself, I’m very proud of it.

finally we got lars vandenchomp from mice and murder

important note: how stupid they look is a feature, not a bug

so. they’re almost the only m&m pc i can do due to the varied furry natures of the characters (though hf is very accommodating to the furry community, they do not in fact have raccoons, owls, weasels, or pigs). I could do sylvester, they have a fox race, but after I made lars and gave them a lil fox familiar as a nod to sylvester I was like hmmmm nahhhh that’s sylvester now. hf’s “dog person” is VERY similar to lars’ doberman pinscher appearance and it worked out really well!

one thing that always bugged me w the official art for lars is that ally describes lars as wearing “a bright pink tuxedo” as like. one of their very first descriptors. and the official d20 art is like “ok we have an aesthetic going tho let’s tone it down to a gentle lavender” but that is just not the image i had in my head so I decided to restore them to their proper glory.

the main reason they’re leaping is bc when I did that pose the fox automatically changed into this caramelldansen-looking pose and that was too cute and too hilariously incongruous with sylvester’s character to pass up.

I also did garthy o’brien (who is in pirates of leviathan, a sidequest) but this post is long enough so I’ll do them on what will probably be a 2 part fantasy high post. also that’s where they originate from so it makes more sense.

ok. that’s enough for now. these creations are complete. i send them off into the vast panopticon of the internet. the ocd demon in me is slightly sated.

[ditttiii]

Enchanted To Meet You || 4.5 || JK’s Interlude.

Summary:  No one ever told you that you had a soulmate or—soulmates, for that matter. Humans don't have soulmates, but shapeshifters do. What are you supposed to do when the seven members of the worlds biggest boy band turn out to be your soulmates—only for you to realise that they aren't even human.

BTS is on a hiatus and ARMY thinks they are completing their mandatory military service. You believe that too, at least you did until you realised that you had adopted them and that one way or another they were gonna live with you—as Hybrids because apparently, you all are soulmates.

 (Hybrid AU // Soulmate AU) (Fluff // humour // smut // angst  // eventually NSFW) (NC-18) (Ot7 x Reader) (slow burn)

banner by: @thebannershop​

Word Count: 1336

Warnings: None for now (PG 13)

Series Master-list Here 

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go I'm wonder struck, blushing all the way home I'll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you...

Jungkook is young, often called the Golden Maknae, he's the youngest in the band.

Young, most times still—'too young.'

Too young to understand why he isn't allowed to take pictures with their fans on the street, too young to understand why he couldn't just jump into the crowd to hug a ARMY who was in a wheelchair, too young to understand why having tattoos as an idol would be frowned upon by some. 

Too young, too naive to fully understand how the world works. It irks him sometimes. 

But, he doesn't always mind being called 'young.' 

No, because it means he could pick up the choreography the quickest, was the most energetic during fan meetings, danced the hardest during concerts, and would smile the brightest no matter what. 

He still has the spirit, the drive, the need to prove something. 

It isn't like his Hyungs don't. They were all driven but Jungkook was—a bull tied to a truck, huffing and puffing with pulsing, neck veins—driven. 

It was a different kind of drive. 

Tae-hyung could act, Jimin-ssi was a trained dancer, Hobi-hyung had a mixtape out, Yoongi-hyung was a music producer who had the most collaborations under his name between all of them, Jin-hyung was a trained actor and he had his face and that was an accomplishment on its own and then lastly there was Rapmon-hyung.

Rapmon-hyung, the reason behind why Jungkook is, who he is today. Kim Namjoon, an idol's idol—his idol.

Jungkook though? He knows he can do a little of everything but when he thinks about it, he wasn't a master of anything. 

Sure, he could sing—was the lead vocalist, but sometimes he thinks it's just a title. Tae-hyung had a voice like liquid, molten gold, while Jimin-hyungs was one of a kind.  

BTS could live on without Jungkook, but without BTS, Jungkook had nothing.

His hyungs would say he was pushing himself too hard, that he would one day run his body to the ground, that he didn't have to prove anything—they would love him regardless.

And he believes them, they are his family, his mates, of course, they would love him. They have known each other for years, their connection, strong enough to let them know his thoughts without him having to word them out.  

But he tries, works harder to be loved anyway, not because he doesn't trust them but because he simply wants to. 

He has always wanted to give them reasons to love him, multiple reasons, beyond just him being their mate. It was something he did without even fully realising it. Like, staying up late to help Hobi-hyung tweak a certain part of their choreography, or giving Yoongi-hyung silent company, while he works in his studio late until the first rays of the sun filter through the cracks in between the blinds. 

In a nutshell—Jungkook wants his precious people to love him. 

He cries during concerts but doesn't in front of his hyungs, sings his throat raw in the studio alone, practices the choreography until the bottom of his feet are scrapped–the steps muscle memory by that point. 

His whole persona is contradictory in ways, even he doesn't fully understand. His actions black, white and all the shades in between. So, it's hard for him to pinpoint why exactly his feelings for you are different, but he knows that they are. 

He recalls sensing your presence for the first time, feeling another, newer pull to this unknown soul somewhere. He is three, when he first feels your presence. 

It was the first time he had ever felt a soulmate bond mature. Before you, he was the youngest and all the bonds were already there. He didn't know a life without them, had always felt them with every single intake of his breath. 

But with you, he felt it grow. Felt it as it grew stronger, harder to ignore, with every passing birthday of his, until the time would be right and he would finally be able to meet you.

He knew he had soulmates, was told by his parents that he would meet them when the time was right. Was told that he was fortunate for having multiple soulmates, most of their kind didn't have any. And Jungkook was lucky, he knew it too, was reminded of the fact every time, one of his mates would hug him. 

But, when the pressure of having more than one soulmate became too much, the strain of it on his body, a heavy toll that had started to feel unbearable, your bond was the one that had soothed him. 

While the other bonds felt like a determined, burning blaze, their presence hard to ignore, yours was quieter, softer, much like a cool, healing balm. 

Sometimes he likes to think if the bonds were real and tangible, the others would be red—burning, ceaseless and passionate, while the one he had with you would be green. 

Green like a clean, clear, ocean—eternal and infinite in its depth, with hues and shades, that kaleidoscope together to form a gentle and serene presence.

When their Hiatus started, he was a little sad. All seven of them were as their careers weren't just their jobs, but also their hobbies and passions. 

It was tough to put it all on hold for a few years, but they also knew that they needed to take a break. 

Their bond with ARMY is something special, almost surreal when he thinks about it. Jungkook doesn't want to toot his own horn, but he's pretty sure they have the largest, most passionate fan base in the present time.

They also have a legacy, something tangible and real, that they have left behind in their wake. Even if he's a little sad to let go of what was almost a routine for him by now, he thinks he'll eventually be okay. Even if they never release another song, he thinks he'll be alright, because what they have done so far? He's pretty damn proud of it all. 

Which was why, even though he was a little sad when the Hiatus started, he was relieved and excited too. Ready to explore what he hadn't yet had the chance to look into, the curious child within Jungkook was absolutely thrilled, as he thought of all the possibilities. 

One of them was, of course, finally meeting you. It was a sort of unspoken promise between the members that they would use this hiatus to finally find out who you were. They all loved each other and were glad for the other's presence, but without you, it always felt as if something was lacking. 

You were the missing puzzle piece, the final bond, their last mate—the one that would tie the lot of them together. 

They were anxious to meet you, they didn't know who you were, where you lived, whether you were a fan or not, or even if you were okay with having seven soul mates. What if you didn't want them? What if they overwhelmed you and made you run away, forever leaving them behind?

The possibilities of things going wrong and the metaphorical shit hitting the fan seemed endless to Jungkook. Even though he wasn't ready—wasn't ready to finally put a face to this presence, wasn't ready to meet you only to lose you. 

He was ready to tell you how much he loved you, how much he wanted, needed you. How much just sensing your presence through their bond had helped him. 

He was anxious and scared but he was also ready, as prepared as he was going to be. 

He believed he had thought of it all, the absolute worst of the worst possibilities, but nothing in the world, would have prepared him for the realisation. 

The realisation that you were a human. 

His soulmate, his hyungs soulmate—their soulmate was a human. 

Refer to this post, if you aren’t sure what this interlude is for. 

Also, I’ve tagged everyone who’s asked so far. If you have asked to be tagged and I somehow forgot to put your name in, please let me know. Also originally the tag list was down here, in this post but Tumblr is trash and didn’t notify people so I’ll be tagging everyone down in the comments as apparently, that is the only way it seems to be working. Let me know if you have any idea why this is happening to me. 

Also if you STILL weren’t notified, let me know that too. Refer to this post here.

Next chapter will be out soon as well 💗

Tag-list for the story can be found here.  Due to the running issue of tumblr and it’s unresponsive tags, I’ll be putting the taglist down in the comments.

[magicalgirlagency]

Which ableist magical girl anime? What are you talking about?

I'm talking about Yuuki Yuuna is a Hero/Yuuki Yuuna wa Yuusha de Aru (or YuYuYu, for short). It has gotten a new season, entitled Great Mankai's Chapter ("Mankai" means "Full Bloom", so alternatively is Great Full-Bloom's Chapter).

For those who don't know this series very well, I'll explain why it's ableist:

The series was highly praised and recommended by some people because it featured a wheelchair-user magical girl, Tougo Mimori. She was part of a school club called the Hero Club, where she and other girls would dedicate themselves doing community services and several other good deeds.

When she's transformed, she acts as a sniper, using a variety of weapons from a long distance; another detail in her Hero form, is that she can also use long ribbons to move herself.

Which at first it sounds cool, right? Disabled people are finally being seen in media, right?

...except that we learn later on the series that her disability is a curse.

You see, in YuYuYu, the Heroes are young maidens blessed with divine abilities by the Yuusha System, an exclusively female system granted by the Shinju (alternatively, the Divine Tree). This system's goal is to "create new gods out of humanity", and the reason why only young women (specially underage ones) can become Heroes is because they have pure energy and a high aptitude, being able to resonate most closely with the Shinju.

The Heroes' duty is to prevent the total destruction of humanity at the hands of the Vertex (divine beasts who have succeeded in destroying most of the world, except for the Shikoku Island of Japan, as it was protected by the Shinju).

The Shinju's workshipping is overseen by the Taisha organization, a group that provides many protections to the Heroes (such as Mankai, Sange, and the Fairies), as well as financial aides... buuuuuuut it turns out that they're shady and full of shit, because this is a seinen series, and we can’t have nice things on a seinen series.

You see, the girls' Hero Club at their school is just a cover-up for the Hero System, and this information was UNKNOWN TO ALL GIRLS (except for Inubouzaki Fuu) AT THE FIRST EPISODE. THE GIRLS WERE UNCERIMONIOUSLY THROWN INTO BATTLE.

And that's not all! The Mankai power-up grants the Heroes incredible power for an limited time period, but the Sange behaves as a SACRIFICE, CAUSING THE HEROES TO PERMANENTLY LOSE A RANDOM BODILY FUNCTION AS A RESULT. MIMORI TOUGO HAS LOST THE FUNCTION OF HER LEGS, AND HER MEMORIES AS WELL! AND THE TAISHA LIED TO HER BY SAYING THAT SHE GOT IN A CAR ACCIDENT!!

THE TAISHA KEPT THE NATURE OF THE MANKAI AND THE SANGE A SECRET FROM THE GIRLS, BECAUSE THEY KNEW FULLY WELL THAT THEY WOULDN'T COOPERATE!!

WHEN MIMORI LEARNS THE TRUTH AND REGAINS HER MEMORIES, SHE NOT ONLY ATTEMPTS TO KILL HERSELF, BUT SHE ALMOST JUMPSTARTS THE APOCALYPSE IN A FIT OF PANIC, BY BLASTING AN OPENING FOR THE VERTEXES TO REACH AND DESTROY THE SHINJU IN ORDER TO "END THIS LIVING HELL"!!

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!! THE TITULAR CHARACTER, YUUKI YUUNA, IS OFFERED AS A BRIDE FOR THE SHINJU IN A LAST-DITCH ATTEMPT TO APPEASE THE GODS!!

THE GIRLS ARE TREATED LIKE SOLDIERS, OBJECTS THAT CAN BE EASILY DISPOSABLE AND EASILY REPLACED!!

AND I'M STILL NOT DONE: ON THE FINAL EPISODE OF THE FIRST SEASON, THE YUUSHA SYSTEM BECOMES UNUSABLE, AND THE GIRLS HAVE THEIR DISABILITIES ~MAGICALLY HEALED~, INCLUDING MIMORI WHO IS NOW ABLE TO WALK ON HER OWN!!

SO THERE YOU HAVE IT, FOLKS; DISABILITIES ARE A FORSAKEN CURSE, AND THE ONLY WAY TO BE SET FREE OF THIS HELLISH ORDEAL IS TO ATTEMPT TO GAME-END YOURSELF AND EVERYONE ELSE, IF POSSIBLE!!

BUT DID ANYONE PAID ATTENTION TO HOW FUCKED UP THIS WAS? HELL NO!! NO ONE DID!! EVERYONE'S HAPPY AND JOLLY, AND EVERYTHING'S FUN AGAIN!!

WHAT A WAY TO SHIT ON DISABLED PEOPLE'S FEELINGS, HUH?!

Oh, and did I mention that Mimori is shamelssly sexualized, too? In her transformation sequence, the camera focuses on her bouncing breasts, not only once, but TWICE!

Like, I know that breasts aren't sexual appendages and there are young girls who develop them at an early age (myself included, because I went through the same thing), but if you get turned on by minors and spank your monkey for their developing appendages, I say you should stop talking and go to jail. Immediately. Go to fuckin' jail, and never leave your cell.

...*sigh*... that was a lot. The only saving grace of YuYuYu is that its girls are friendly and are in good terms with eachother instead of being territorial, nasty and bordeline murderous (like the ones in Magical Girl Raising Project, for an example), and the series ends with everyone alive and well.

However, I will NOT excuse its ableist plot and its bullshit ending. These things are not okay, and should be properly addressed and discussed.

If you're going to recommend YuYuYu to anyone, at least tell them that it's not a good representation of disabilities. Really, it'll save a whole lot of trouble.

Watch The Owl House instead; at least Eda embraces her disability (which in canon it was really a curse, so it behaves more like a metaphor), and is rewarded with a new form as a result.

Disabled people are NOT damned, and they deserve RESPECT!