#which would make psychology an easier field to go into. it takes a lot of energy and unwavering effort i’d say

[cyberfunsupporter]

i really do wonder how sophie and jenny’s first interactions went especially considering how weak sophie’s social skills are and the fact she just does not like people 😭 i feel like jenny must’ve been really grating at first just with how i guess friendly and silly she can be. not necessarily in a Oh My God Get Away From Me kind of way cause i guess jenny has some natural charm + i personally feel like sophie would be less aggressive with it and more so just wanna be alone cause people just aren’t Her thing like it’s just not. something that aligns with her most of the time she’s bad at it, doesn’t get social conventions and nobody seems to really think like her or even understand her so it’s just Ew. it’s a hassle and people can be grating AND JENNY PROBABLY IS 😭 so i just wonder how long it took for sophie to get over the initial discomfort/irritation and wtf jenny did to get past that cause jenny’s friends w like everyone in their apartment building or whatever and sophie’s friends with nobody so that contrast is. considerable LOL

[octuscle]

Hey there! I work as a therapist and a few of us were starting to think of the clinical applications of chronivac. We were wondering if you wanted to work together to develop some presets that our clients could use to de-stress and take a break from their stressful lives. I know we have one stressed out university student who could benefit from something like this.

At Chronivac, we are always interested in collaborating with research institutions. After all, Chronivac is not used just to have fun. It is already being used for the treatment of various physical illnesses and also for resocialization projects. The use in the psychotherapeutic field would be new, but sounds interesting according to the research and development department. If the student they are talking about is available as a guinea pig, perhaps send us a requirements profile for a transformation. And we'll see what we can do….

Research Diary Timothy Walker

Day One: My psychotherapist tells me that my burn-out syndrome has progressed to the point that continuing my business studies is out of the question at this point. In fact, I am having a hard time concentrating. Writing this report is causing me great difficulty; my attention span is only a few minutes. Therefore, an experimental therapy has been decided with the psychology faculty, which is connected with a semester off for me. Under certain circumstances, the semester can be counted as an internship. Everything is fine with me. I am just tired. The work on the research diary was exhausting for me. I need to lie down.

Second day: I slept very well. No wild nightmares as usual. I woke up briefly once or twice at most, but went right back to sleep. Michael, who is in charge of the project as pysiotherapist, thinks that this would be a good starting point to work on my physical fitness. We both went running for an hour. I'm exhausted, I haven't moved that much since I started studying. But I feel good. Made myself a real breakfast for the first time in months according to my new nutrition plan. I'm supposed to spend the rest of the day walking on the beach. Let's see if that clears my head.

Third day: Before Michael came for the training session, I was already in the gym for an hour. I'm really enjoying the physical activity. The beach walk yesterday was great. And Michael was thrilled to see the progress I'm making in terms of fitness. Had the first session with my creativity coach today. Seems a little silly to me. But imagining what I would be doing if I weren't studying business was fun. But I have to admit, my head isn't really getting creative yet. At least writing the diary is already much easier for me.

Day four: I need new challenges. The beach run with Mike is fun, but it's not a sport. That's warming up. We discussed that I would go running alone for an hour tomorrow and that we would meet in the gym of the therapy center. I'm supposed to come without a T-shirt. Mike wants me to learn to love my body. To be honest, I already do. I've already jerked off twice today. And think about sex a lot more than usual. Mike also comes in the process. My creative trainer is also quite cute, but he's too skinny for me. I like men who have a lot of muscle on them.

Fifth day: Fuck, the workout with Mike is awesome! I love the gym from the first minute. Yes, the beach feels my home. But the gym is the place that prepares me for that home. Working out shirtless makes the workout even more intense. i can't get enough of Mike's and my sweat beading on our pecs. But I'm so horny. All the time. During the creative training with Kev it just bubbled out of me today. I would so love to be a lifeguard. Maybe not all the time. But on vacation. And on the weekends. The idea made me even hornier. Poor Kev. He's not my type, but I had to nail him during practice. No idea when I last had sex. but this first time in a long time was incredibly intense. Thank God Kev felt the same way….

Day six: Today is uh free day at da therapy center. Mike n kev are already down at da beach, I wanted to pump up da muscles beforehand. I'm looking forward to da sea n da sand. Both make my head so free. Although I wouldn't feel like my head wuz overly full right now anyway. Pumping, fucking, jogging n swimming. That's really all I'm thinking about right now. Kevin says that I certainly wouldn't have to worry about da practical entrance exams for lifeguards. But I shouldn't underestimate da theory. Shit, studying sucks. But I guess it haz to be.

Day seven: I like it when I have da early shift. Da routine of opening da station is relaxing, da beach is still quiet, da few guests are usually relaxed n in uh gud mood. Wuz one of da best ideas of my life to take uh semester off n work as uh lifeguard. My pal mikey told me to lay off this crappy journal. Somehow I thought it wuz important until now. I can't remember why, either. Anyway. Da main thing is that da surf is gud. Den you can have some fun with da surfers afta work. Hehehehe…

[fanaticsnail]

Physics anon here. To the anon taking Physics I, then you should be fine. I hope you get in! Fingers crossed! 🤞🏻🤞🏻

To the math peeps, I am choosing to be Sanji for our duel, bcs even Sanji's flaming kicks are also physics based (/j). I love you all. Your love for math scares me but I also admire you guys because I had 2 breakdowns in my high school years over math (so fun). The only math I like is the "how much percentage in a tax is there" cus that has words and normal numbers. Get algebra away from me.

To the linguistics anon, I love you, be my best friend, I love humanities, I love linguistics, I love psychology, I love sociology, I can talk about them for days! I love humanities, in fact I would argue humanities and literature are sth I ADORE.

PLS GOD LINGUISTICS ANON TELL US SOME OF DOFFY'S LINES AND THE WAY HE SPEAKS, OH AND CROCODILE, TOO, AND ALL THE LITTLE PUNS ODA MAKES.

DO WE HAVE PSYCHOLOGY ANONS HERE BECAUSE EPISODE 723 DOFFY'S LAUGHING FIT I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT I NEED TO STUDY IT FROM A PSYCHOLOGY POV like my brain is like needy for that like the ideas are there but I cannot put them into words. It sounded like an emotional breakdown and he sounded so sad but also angry so I was not sure whether he wanted a hug or not.

Also, Snail, I do not blame you for that nsfw thought of "how fucked would you be" bcs I had the same thought but was then "oh well 😏"

Okay, so G4 Luffy's speed calc? I'll try to find my notes but if anyone wants to play around it, here are the formulas you'll need & way of solving it all, it's really pretty simple, we are using Hooke's Law of elastic force to calculate Luffy's speed. We're gonna already give the spring constant cus it's easier and it's easier to show just how MUCH force Luffy needs for such speed.

Jet Speed of a commercial plane is 252 m/s. We'll go with this being G2 speed. Okay, easy. We will need a LOT of spring constant to counteract G4 Luffy's weight which is 300kg. Like, a LOT of spring constant. That means Luffy is also using a lot of elastic energy & kinetic force. And I mean above 10 million joules. Then again, joules represent a small amount of energy. It takes 100,000 joules to heat up water in standard conditions, so it isn't that much of a stretch. (Ha, rubber pun.)

Basic thing for this...

Elastic potential energy:

Ep = 1/2 • k • x²

k = spring constant (make it 40 million)

x = compression of the spring (make it 1 meter)

No need to calculate the Ep cus that isn't what we really need, though you can if you want to make the process quicker but this is so everyone understands.

Turn that into kinetic energy:

Ek= 1/2 • m • v²

m = mass of the object, G4 Luffy's weight, 300 kg since he is 4 meters tall in G4.

Equalize them:

1/2 kx²=1/2mv²

kx²=mv²

v²= kx²/m

v= √kx²/m (under the entire square root)

I got 365 m/s. That's 1314 km/h. That exceeds commercial jet-speed.

I can go into details in another post but this is the basics of it, unless you want to start from the actual scratch which I do not recommend bcs that means you have to put more big numbers to get the k that big. Better to already decide what the k is so we can get the big force and therefore big speed. We know the force needs to be big, as Doflamingo said it himself.

"Your punches lack heaviness." aka "Put a billion Newtons in it and then you'll have a shot against me."

To put it in irl perspective, billion joules is the equivalent of about 239 kilograms (527 pounds) of TNT blowing up.

Honestly I'm thinking the force of Luffy's final punch against Doflamingo was at least 8 billion Newtons. It's... A lot, but at this point, there are no limits. It's about 1.8 billion pounds force 👍🏻

Yeah. 😄

Cheers. Don't fight in Snail's inbox, you all from all fields are amazing ❤️

Physics anon. Physics anon. Oh my gosh, I am simply blown away by this calculation. Oh my gosh, the work you've done. I can't wait til chef-husband comes home to share with him this amazing calculation, you have no idea. He's gonna go:

The anon love for one another in my ask box lately is absolutely superb. I love the friendly fire and witty retorts you've all got. Always respect and humour, and I love you all.

The calculations of the hands Doffy caught from our short king of the pirates has me rolling. I'm legit howling.

Keep your equations coming, I love them. Learning through the power of sums and passions of the anons. Superb work 🥰🖤

[bowtiesarecool123]

yk what guys time to refute all of the hate all quiet has been getting bc i have nothing better to do

ok so i am having a very hard time understanding how a film score without lyrics can be offensive. does it make fun of something that requires nuance? no??? this score is not satirical in any way nor does it appropriate cultural music so where the fuck did offensive come from??? also what is so bad about the score being anachronistic? in fact i think this is one of the best aspects of it, if a film score has to be strictly within whatever period the film is set in not only does it lead to one dimensional uninnovative film scores, it just doesnt make sense in some scenarios. does a prehistoric film have to feature sticks as its only instrument?? ok even if we take all of that at their best, i feel like we're being too severe a couch critic, like cmon, they won for a reason, we don't have to be this rude about it, just say it's mid and call it a day...

yay lets generalize a very diverse fanbase bc it makes it easier to strawman and push my argument!! ok anyways i think a rlly big thing with sucessful adaptations is that ur gonna have to change some stuff. what works on paper might not necessarily work on the big screen. i get that a huge point of contention is the ending change and the cutting out of the returning home section. so about the ending first, i actually liked the changes bc while i get the poetic ending of the book, i think the movie ending does rlly well for character development and rlly goes all in to show the psychological changes paul experiences during the war. if we did keep what they were doing in the book, we might run into a lot of issues bc we're able to know what paul is feeling however that might be difficult to translate on film. also, we get interesting interpolation and final emphasis on the theme of how war is essentially just a puppet game. without the changes of the 11am armistice or the final orders from the evil general dude, we lose the new themes that the film brought in which would feel less complete than status quo. ok so the returning home argument, the novel is obviously more complex than the film but that doesn't make it better or worse. our film at hand already has a huge run time, if we tried to shoehorn in another whole theme, that might be too ambitious and we lose the focus the film has right now. i would definitely choose a world where they focus on one theme and do it really well, which is what's happening rn, over a line by line adaption that could feel messy and end up being too ambitious. again, a line by line adaptation has already been done and i wouldn't fault anyone for thinking the 1930 version is better, it just means it would be even worse and completely redundant to make another line by line adaptation rn. also again, these are completely all my opinions and its def valid to disagree on all of them but the real root of the issue i have with op's comment is how they chalk it all up to ppl not reading the books. it just comes off as rlly elitist and just not representative of what ppls actual opinions rlly are. also it's better to attack the media itself rather than ppl who enjoy the media 💀

braindead bird app time, here we have the classic case of someone thinking it's cool to shit on the film that all their twt mutuals are shitting on rn without ever having seen it. sorry if this is a bit left field but next time maybe watch the film b4 commenting on it?????????

this is honestly one of the least problematic opinions out of the all quiet haters so far but i am still responding to this bc the only category all quiet beat banshees in was original score (why is it always this) and the score doesn't have much to do with whether or not this film is a war film or if soldiers appeal to u or how many times this has been remade. and like i agree, banshees score, phenomenal, but if all quiet lost it still would go to babylon so i feel like the anger here is rlly misdirected.

all quiet haters cannot seem to comprehend that this film is not a remake holy shit. and even if it is inferior, it would only be inferior storywise bc u cannot fucking argue the point that 1930s vfx and cinematography are better than the 2022 version. and the only sweeps all quiet got were technical category sweeps so the inferior remake point is entirely irrelevant. and i am willing to bet 5 bucks this person didnt watch the movie bc then they would understand that technical aspects and story aspects are different bc what it sounds like rn is they're repeating whatever they've heard without properly applying the criticism to its accurate category.

.

.

ok im done now very slay if you've read all of this im sleep deprived bc of babylon dickriders so ignore my gramatical mistakes ty.

[m318x2]

I enrolled in a community college you guys :)

y'know what's ironic? I'm getting a psychology A.A. transfer. hoping to finish it at a four-year and then get my master's in some form of counseling. I'm hoping to be a therapist. I know that means I have to be FIRMLY in ed recovery by the time I'm out in the field, but I have a bit of time I think. excuses, I know. I'm just procrastinating ed recovery at this point. but honestly dbt is going so well that even though my ed is still very much active, I feel more capable and able to cope with other issues than I've ever felt. I don't think my mental illness has gone away at all, but I'm already WAY better at managing it than I used to be. enough that I felt like I could take on college, which I've thought for years I'd never be able to handle. that's HUGE! and I know with all that progress, ed recovery will be easier too once I'm ready. idk when exactly I'll recover. but I think I'm getting there.

and honestly I've thought I would make a good therapist for years, my mom and my friend and I believe even my first therapist have commented on that, saying I'd make a good therapist. I just never looked into it because I thought there was no way I'd ever be mentally healthy enough to do it. but now I think I actually can, and I truly feel like mental health counseling is my calling. I feel like it would be an adequately challenging and fulfilling line of work, and I'm passionate about psychology. and I have personal experience already! a LOT of it! it just fits for me I think. I'm not gonna fool myself into thinking it's gonna be easy or that I'll immediately be great at it, but I want to learn :)

[seinesthesia]

Friday, Aug. 2, 2024.

Oh wow… it’s almost been a year. To be honest, i completely forgot about this.

So a lot has happened. I broke out of my depressive episode, and started taking medication for anxiety, depression, and psychosis. It’s had some side effects; I’m taking Latuda and Prozac. Namely, I can’t be in the song for too long. It’s also affected my synesthesia.

In May, my mom and I sent an email to the American Synesthesia Association, asking a few questions about synesthesia, including why my colors for sounds haven’t returned. Carol Steen responded very helpfully, and gave us resources to look at, like the Synesthesia List, which I’ve subscribed to. She explained that medication, such as antipsychotics, can sometimes alter or remove forms of synesthesia, and that it goes back to normal once I go off them. Good to know!

I think I mentioned way back when that it’s easier to deal with noise now that the visual aspect isn’t overwhelming me. While that’s still true, I think I’ve also made a lot of progress in dealing with overstimulation and loud noise. I’m not in marching band, but I still volunteer, and now I can handle being close when I do assistant DM duties.

Beyond synesthesia, I’ve gained a growing interest in the complex mind and in psychology, and I’d love to do something in that field when I’m older.

I’ve often wondered about the mind, about the new people I meet and what their voices would sound like if I wasn’t on my medication. But I’ve had other struggles, other battles of health that make my missing colors less of a concern and more a passing thought. I won’t go into detail, as they’re not relevant, but all I can say is that people have been kind.

[libertasforte]

Me: I don’t know what to do about Childe please help T_T Arlecchino: Throw the patriarchy at it

Within the standard heterosexual script, Childe would fuck Arlecchino but there’s no reason for him to be exclusive to her. The only reason this works is because Arlecchino could eliminate all competitors (unalive) if she wanted.

But that runs counter to Arlecchino’s ego and what she wants. I would describe what she wants as to collect people (women), keep them under her care, and have them be the most beautiful version of themselves. She’s not a widowmaker, she’s not a black widow. If Arlecchino loved Childe as a male, then the most beautiful version of him, the logical result of her ego investment in Childe would be: a male lead to a countably infinite procession of women. And to take care of him and to cherish him as such.

I don’t know that many of you here are familiar with the tropes in a harem manga but there’s two I’ve read that have a woman who is dominant to the protagonist, and it is depicted so that the sexual conquests of the male lead are under the auspices and the domain of that female character. But he doesn’t fuck her - in one of them, maybe he would, but it’s presented as a goal that may happen at the end of the story.

But also these women are not dominatrixes, they don’t touch the male lead, and they would rather have the male lead conquer other women. (So it’s not arlechi.) Are they mommy? I would say that they have a masculine edge - an investment in sexual conquest - that makes them distinct from a mommy character. And Arlecchino is like that, too.

With Genshin Impact imitating the structure of a harem story, I think Arlecchino fulfills this role to the male protagonist. And Childe: Childe’s function as a romanceable male for a female protagonist is secondary to his role as the “best friend” character in a harem story, who will help the protagonist get the woman he wants.

But at that point, can’t you just… remove the protagonist from the picture? Have them be the ones who are together? Have them be the ones who have a harem?

This is tartacchino; this is the function they were written for, this is the function they fulfill, this is their existence and this is their love. And they’re so happy; who cares.

(I want to say that Genshin Impact isn’t an uncritical imitation of the harem story - there’s a reason that Childe and Arlecchino are villains. Tartacchino is when you go “yes, unironically, harem”)

Zeroeth wife:

First wife:

After I realized that I had to put these two men (derogatory) together, I ran into the problem of how to actually ship them. My answer was that I could just ship them in a yuri way - if anything, I was sure that Arlecchino had enough power to bring Childe over into the yuri side. But the problem with this was that there was no way that they felt safe enough to express any of their emotions or their reality.

I think they were drawn to Chiori because 1. Some sort of assurance that she is clearly the wife in the picture, 2. Her grounded energy, 3. Her ability to fight for them and defend them, and to scare.

And that’s how she got them to open up. She did the job, she got it done, and left (psychologically).

She is a woman who takes pride in her work and her existence, and that’s her place in the meta. She makes a clean cut, leaves, leaving a doll behind (to provide her symbolic presence). If her existence hurts your ego, then a minor upgrade to the mono geo team is something you can safely ignore. You can use Albedo - another competent off-field geo damage dealer, and he’s a lot more unassuming than Chiori is. He can generate a flower every 4 seconds, which is a lot easier to use than Chiori. But Chiori does more damage, and her dolls don’t break like Albedo’s flowers do.

Will there be more wives? We’ll see T_T

[rofilm1]

New Concepts for Music And Sound – Part 5

(Excerpt from my e-book about this topic:https://www.dev.rofilm-media.net/node/537)

What the pioneers of electronic music worked on, emphasised more than before or even discovered, and how to translate this to our situation today:

Aspect 1:

The meaning of sine waves, additive synthesis and the real nature of sound

There isn´t anything in the world of sonic phenomena that would be more basic than sine waves – nor more static. Whereas the objective sonic character of a saw wave changes with changing pitches (more or less higher partials fall into the range of human audibility), the spectrum of a simple sine wave doesn´t change with the pitch – it´s always simply itself.

Additive approaches by simply layering (a lot of) sine waves (of dedicated amplitudes) upon each other also only lead to rather static sounds. It´s the dynamic of changes of all these layered sine waves where the magic happens. I think we have to abandon the idea of a merely physical basic building element of sonic phenomena, and turn our attention to HOW HUMANS PERCEIVE sound: in little chunks, each of which containing a minimum sonic development in time. Yes, you guess it, I´m talking about sonic grains. And here, on the field of granular sound processing, we may allow physics to step in again, physics and physiology as well as psychology of perception. Here the first steps are already made. If we want to be innovative, well, let´s follow the patch and penetrate deeper in how things are working here. Just by the way: there´s a quite remarkable neighboorhood of granular sound processing: noise music.

Aspect 2:

The (not only sonic) relation of real world happenings and music

Well, this aspect is not really a new one, nor was it completely new in the 1950s. The goings on there outside in the real world had always had their influence on the music of their time. Whether it was the motivation to write a certain piece of music, or whether the happenings in the world outside of the musical world inspired the composers – music had never been without being entangled with reality. One of the perhaps most famous examples is Beethoven´s third symphony “Eroica”, which was inspired by the spirit of the French Revolution.

No, it was not the mere fact of the existing of the relation “world and music production”, it was the intensity and directness which the outside world jumped into music with. Sonic material, which had not been seen as musical, as having musical potency before was taken (recorded), manipulated (sometimes even not that) and put into music. Quite often this happened with the intention to make the listener better understand his physical and social world, to show aspects of this world, which were ignored more often than not.

I promised to make it short. Let me jump to the question: “And now, and we?” therefore. Here the answer seems easy to me. When we want to go further even in this aspect, we will have to let the world in even more: we must let the goings on there outside of our studios taking part in the process of composing and producing itself. The step ladder of importance as it is so far looks like: “The World motivates/initiates the composing and production process → The World delivers sonic material”. Let´s add a third step: “The World composes/produces (a part of) the music”. How would that be possible? Easier than you might have thougth. What about – just one example – taking the rate and order of cars going by on a busy road to derive a rhythm from? Or what about taking the changing volume levels of a field recording and translate it to pitches (or to whatever you want)? Whether we use real world goings on to create only (pseudo-) randomness, or whether we take these events, these happenings outrside our musical comfort zone to base our (more conventional) composition on: the motto is: Let the real World step in.

Enjoy your day!

Rolf

… to be continued

[sneha640]

4 signs of a toxic relationship, and what to do to fix it, according to psychologist.

What is a relationship that is toxic?

According to psychologist a toxic relationship is defined as “any relationship [between people] who] don't support each other, where there’s conflict and one seeks to undermine the other, where there’s competition, where there’s disrespect and a lack of cohesiveness,” according to Dr. Lillian Glass, a communication and psychology expert from California who claims she coined the term in her 1995 book Toxic People.

Glass says that while every relationship has its ups and downs, a toxic one is always unpleasant and draining for the people in it, to the point where the bad times outweigh the good ones. Dr. Vinod Mune, a psychologist in Nagpur who specializes in mental health, adds that participants in toxic relationships experience mental, emotional, and even physical harm.

Additionally, these relationships need not be romantic: According to Glass, interpersonal, familial, and professional relationships can all be harmful.

1) Inconsistent or Hurtful Texting

Patterns of erratic texting and content that is hurtful, negative, or both can be indicators of a toxic relationship that isn't going in the right direction. According to psychologist, "your partner will] text whenever they feel like it, at random times, and most of the time, when they are bored or horny." This is typical of these kinds of relationships. They aren't obligated to respond until them "feel like it," which may take hours or days. And with regard to sexting? When you meet them later, they're more interested in gaming, drinking, or suddenly announcing that they're going out with their friends. In text, they're all hot and intense.

Pay close attention to how the person's texts and texting behavior affect you because a lot of relationships grow out of early texting. Shallon Lester, a YouTube sex and dating expert and the author of the dating memoir Exes and Ohs, offers this piece of advice: "With a new relationship, you should feel like the person you are seeing is the one to check in, the one to ask about your day, and the one to make plans." Otherwise, you may be unconsciously laying the groundwork for an unbalanced relationship if you have the impression that you are always the one reaching out to them and showing interest in their lives. If this seems to be the norm for some time, you might be with someone who isn't ready for a caring, long-term relationship. Give them a lot of attention to you!

2) Toxic Communication

Psychologist says The majority of your conversations are dominated by sarcasm or criticism, and they are motivated by contempt, which is a predictor of divorce. Do you ever find that you are hurling insults at friends or family? By mockingly repeating what they said in a different room, you could make fun of them. To avoid arguments and hostility, you can simply begin to ignore their calls.

3) Your Partner Keeps Score

Which of you, you or your partner, keeps score? The only place a scoreboard belongs is above a sports field, regardless of whether you are certain that this is the sixth time in two months that he has been late or whether he refuses to forget the time you tossed his favorite pair of pants into the Goodwill pile. There is a good chance that you are in a toxic relationship if one of you is keeping track of your good deeds or bad deeds.

4) Lack of Self Care

Lack of Self-Care In a bad relationship, you might stop doing the things you normally do for yourself. You might give up your free time, prioritize your health, and stop participating in activities you used to enjoy. This could be because you don't have the energy to do these things, or it could be that your partner doesn't like it when you pursue your own interests. It is essential that you each independently assess your relationship's needs and boundaries. Setting boundaries and establishing expectations would be much easier if you talked to the best psychologist in India.

Even if you think you know what your needs and boundaries are, it's still important to look over them and then tell your spouse.

A good place to start is to talk about boundaries. Even though boundaries can change over time, it's important to keep talking about them.

You can reevaluate how you feel about a variety of aspects of the relationship, including the need for physical intimacy and communication.

However, toxic communication and behavior patterns don't have to cause your marriage to deteriorate; you don't have to watch helplessly.

When both you and your partner wish to make changes, a relationship counselor can help you begin to recognize the underlying causes of relationship toxicity and explore healthy, compassionate methods of communication and problem-solving.

Couple therapy, which is also known as marriage counseling, helps couples develop healthier habits, atone for previous infidelity and sensitivities, and strengthen their emotional and sexual intimacy.

What should you do if you’re in a toxic relationship?

according to psychologist The best way to avoid a toxic relationship is to learn about one's own patterns and self-knowledge. If you're in a dramatic or difficult relationship, you need to figure out if you've chosen the wrong person for bad reasons from your past or are avoiding someone you really care about due to your own limitations, fears, or defenses. You can consciously choose to look for someone else if you identify the negative characteristics that have drawn you to your partner. You can look for ways you are behaving in the relationship and try to change your part of the dynamic that causes things to turn bad if you realize that the person you have chosen has a lot of the positive qualities you want. You can clearly see the paths that lead to the breakdown of your relationship once you understand yourself. You can take control of yourself and build a relationship that is better, more honest, and full of happiness.

Marriage counseling & Divorce

The job of a marriage counselor is mostly to help the couple solve the fights and conflicts between them. There are few ethical guidelines and problems due to which a marriage counselor will never directly suggest a divorce even if the counselor knows that nothing is left in the marriage.

A marriage counselor helps and suggests ways to cope with problems and bring understanding and start a fresh or new life.

https://drvinodmune.com

[jiatongdaidmc22]

Reflection of Mill Road Cemetery Project

While I did not use interviews for the cemetery project, I did use a lot of experiments and feedback-gathering strategies, such as tutorials and group discussions during the research process, as well as a mid-term presentation and Q&A session. Each time I received useful feedback, I experimented with the next steps to improve my project. In terms of output, I used illustration as a means of visualization. I have a weakness in professional architectural drawings and 3D modelling, but using illustration still allowed me to present a clearer design for my projects.

My approach is based on design thinking and the double diamond theory. This abounds in contemporary practice and is the kind of thinking that designers need to have. I decided to try the same approach in the Mill Road Cemetery project, which turned out to be appropriate.

During the primary research phase, I started by going to the cemetery. As my subject matter was related to crows, I made observational drawings of them and asked people who were in the cemetery what they thought about the crows there and their survival. I wanted to find the right direction to take, and after some questioning and observation, this made me realize that the situation of this species in the cemetery is quite bad, and I would like to follow this direction of development with subsequent research and exploration.

During my secondary research, I used a method based on reading literature. I also visited the Bird Conservancy website and various crow science websites. As my research did not use interview research methods, I did not need ethical approval.

My aim was to change people's negative perceptions of crows, and at first I thought of solutions that would allow them to find spiritual healing or pleasure in relaxing with this species. So I started my research with the positive qualities of ravens, the concept of spiritual healing and how to do it. I read "Bildnerei der Geisteskranken" by Hans Prinzhorn, a German art historian and psychiatrist, and Suqian Jiang, a scholar at the Tianjin Academy of Arts, who wrote a paper on "Analysis of Creative Methods in the Healing Mechanism of Art". However, as I researched further, this prevented me from moving forward with my project. As spiritual healing is a field of study in mental illness and psychology, the lack of expertise and theoretical support prevented me from implementing my ideas in a logical manner, and I did not have the equipment to conduct professional psychological experiments. So, I shifted my research direction to a simpler and more easily implemented concept, which is to make people happy through crows, thereby changing their negative perceptions of them. Within this broad framework, I can do more and make it easier for myself to implement.

My plan was to work with POP MART, a blind box company, to create a raven-themed blind box. My research was divided into two parts: the design of the blind box and the marketing model of the blind box among young people, i.e. why young people are willing to spend money to buy it and get pleasure from it. I contacted the POP MART customer service team on the official website to ask these questions. I read several academic papers such as "Marketing strategies for POP MART", "The relevance of reward system to human consumption", "Emotional design of blind boxes", "Self-pleasing consumption: the extension of individual spirit at the material bounder" and "The human impact of visual buds on blind box products". These led to the creation of a themed shop and the establishment of free products to complement the marketing of the main blind box industry. I also realized that my idea could be implemented after questioning the staff, as POP MART had an IP link with a blind charity in China to launch a different range of blind boxes. Using a portion of the proceeds for charity, I thought that working with this company would not only allow my audience to reap the benefits of happiness, but also to save the crows in the cemetery.

What made me expand my ideas was the opinions from multiple sources, such as conducting many group discussions and gathering feedback. This played a big part in the whole project moving forward as each group member, as well as the mentor, gave very different, or even opposite opinions. This was the point where I was surprised. Although some of the directions could not be implemented, I was surprised at some of the ideas and concepts that I had not thought of at all, and because of this, I would experiment with different directions, such as character design and development, from making an anthropomorphic version of the little crow at the beginning, creating posters in the context of the cemetery, to using the crow element to create souvenirs, and finally to the blind box. Each process was taken forward after different attempts and gathering feedback. The decisions often came after collecting different opinions. I needed to try to make relative adjustments based on the different comments, but due to time constraints, trade-offs needed to be made accordingly. After each collection of feedback, relative decisions needed to be made. Of course these decisions are based on a lot of research background. I think this is crucial.

Looking back at the whole project process, what I find most exciting would be the process of visualizing my ideas. This is because at this stage there has been relatively complete research and many experiments. Presenting ideas is something that I am very passionate about, for example when I was designing blind boxes and visualizing customized services. I think the whole process has been fun for me.

I think I could have done a better job, especially with the research, because I went in the wrong direction in the beginning and that caused me to delay the development. But in the end I was quite satisfied with the outcome.

For the audience, my target group was expanded after the change of direction, from 'teenagers' to 'people who feel sad and lonely' to ‘anyone who wants to participate in the game’. So I think my final outcome is relatable to the intended audience. This was something I took into account when I shifted direction.

Throughout the project, if I had more time, I would like to refine the character design, finish the whole series and add interviews. My next step would be to take the issues and lessons learned from this project and bring them to the next one.

[theunaestheticstudyblr]

UNIVERSITY WITH MENTAL ILLNESS

Mental health and illness is already hard enough, but adding school pressure on top is hard. High school was easier for me since there is a lot more structure and a lot less choice, which is why I'm targeting this towards college and university students.

Firstly is attending class. Getting to class is a major hurdle, especially with a commute like me (1 hour+) broke people problems lmao. Driving that long to go to a class just to drive back home is already exhausting and unpleasant, especially knowing professors will post slides or something after class anyways. But you have to drag yourself there. One thing I do to help is dress up. I'll do my makeup and put on nicer clothes. Why does this work for me? I hate wasting stuff, especially money and to me, putting on makeup is spending money essentially (same logic as using rare items in a video game idk). I can't just sit around the house and waste the money I just put on my face so I gotta go to class. Small things like this to trick your brain works so well. Before this, there was a restaurant I absolutely loved next to campus so if I went to every class for two weeks I would reward myself by going there. Another thing that helps is making plans with people ahead of time. They'll hold you accountable on days that you can't.

Take rest days. Schedule one whole day a week where you don't do school or go to work. It's a day completely off for anything. I use this day to do chores in the morning and then just lay around and do absolutely nothing all afternoon and night. This helps recharge and reduce stimulation and socialization. It gives your brain that little rest it cries for every day. I used to panic so much about this one day because I could be working and making money or studying or doing anything to be productive until I had a week where I couldn't do anything because I broke down completely, mentally and physically. Now I see it as a preservation day. I use this day to recover from everything.

Make your notes pretty. I hate going back and looking at my messy class notes. Everything is scattered and messy and I get frustrated. What I do instead is make a virtual, concise copy that is pretty to me. I'll add little sketches, color, pictures, etc. This helps draw my attention and allows me to study while doing it! Making the second copy forces you to go through the material after a class is over and review the material to decide what is truly important and then organize it all and then rewrite it all. This has been a huge help.

Use class breaks to snack or grab coffee. One thing I have found in many people with high anxiety is that food and drinks really help calm you down. I've found some research suggesting it's because food is a signal that things are safe and therefore makes you more relaxed, though I don't know much about anthropology and psychology fields. I find this really helps to calm me down after I had a very stressful test so that I can be more present for the next class. Gum helps a lot on high anxiety/panic days as well.

Download the notes or slides, especially if posted ahead of time. This way you have access even if you don't have wifi. You can even pull them up in lectures so you don't have to focus on the board the whole time. For my people with autism, this has helped me so much. There are times where you can't focus on the professor and the slides and the sounds and writing, so doing this cuts out having to watch the teacher and the board. Bonus points if you can record during lecture as well so you can revisit parts that you zoned out in or couldn't focus on.

Keep a journal or diary and list your activities, food, weather, etc in it as well as your mood. This can help you find correlations to hack shit. My favorite way of doing this is through the Daylio app (I wrote a post about it here). Like I notice that days when it's rainy, I study and read more and days where I walk more and eat breakfast, I focus better and am happier overall. This information helps so much. If I know it's going to rain tomorrow, I won't try to force myself to study a bunch today and instead save that energy for later. Instead, I'll take care of myself and go for a walk or something. Knowing how you work and why really makes a HUGE difference.

This might just be my autism brain, but finding cool things related to the topic at hand has helped me keep interest in at least a little of the subject, helping me study more. Like I don't like chimaeras (a fish group) BUT for some reason I love fish teeth and these fishes have a very unique tooth set. This at least let's me know something instead of just ignoring and forgetting everything. 20% is better than nothing.

Find a reason to study what you do, even if it's just that you need this class to graduate. Just taking classes for no reason seems like something neurotypical people are able to do. I can't do it. I need a reason and if I can't find one, I just give up. I used to always say it was useless and pointless and didn't understand why it was required. But I realized the reason to take it is because I want a piece of paper that says I traded lots of money and sanity for it. And that reason has to be good enough.

Make study games. Games are more fun than lifeless paper. Matching games, crosswords, coloring pages, whatever you like!

Feel free to add your tips to this post as well!! I always have room for improvement and experimentation, especially for really hard days. I still find myself skipping even online classes some days. No one had all the answers or has everything figured out. This is just an incomplete list of things that have helped me out a bit and made college life a bit easier.

[ren-therose]

The Penthouse Plot

Sherlock X F!Reader (3.8k words)

Summary: Sherlock, John and Reader all go to a penthouse party to pick up some clues about their newest case. But Y/N and Sherlock are put in a compromising situation. 

Warnings: smut 18+, semi-public sex, fingering, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it kids), creampie, squirting, after care

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“We are going to a party”

This was an incredibly abrupt statement from the detective who was still in pajamas at four in the afternoon, slouched down into the arm chair with the news paper covering his face. I couldn’t see his emotions, but I could tell that the idea had already been formulated, and he had not quite been excited out of it. His boredom was chronic, and it would often times only be soothed by myself to get him out of it. 

The first time we met, I was sitting on a park bench in Paddington Street Gardens, not but two blocks away from his flat. As if drawn to the cigarette I was smoking, he walked up as casually as he could, coat turned up, and sat on the bench over from my left. I didn’t look, but I was aware that a tall, dark man was watching me as I tried to solve today's crossword in the paper. 

He leaned closer, trying to take in the smoke for the nicotine high. With a slight glance his way, it was all I needed to take the cigarette from my mouth in my left hand, and casually rest it on the bench next to me. I blew out the smoke to the right side of my mouth though, purposefully keeping it from him, allowing my lips to guide the smoke in a stream to dissipate into the morning air. Still looking at the crossword, I began filling in 20 across, feeling a sense of intrigue and frustration emanating from the man next to me. 

“It’s not diva, its aria,” a deep voice says. I smirk, not looking up to his face quite yet. 

“No shit, Sherlock. 18 down is ‘erie’, so why would I put down diva?” I inquire, but before he could answer, I reply myself. “I was proving my hypothesis: is the detective next to me just trying to second-hand smoke, or is he actually paying attention to me? And the answer was both.”

He stands and comes to sit on my right side, not looking at me directly. The cigarette dangling from my lip wasn’t his main concern anymore. 

“How quickly did you realize it is only an herbal cigarette Mr. Holmes?” I ask, erasing my trap from 20 across. 

“As soon as I first looked at you. You have no stains on your fingers from the smoke, as well as no burns, which tells me you don’t smoke often. If you were a smoker, you would need at least a pack a day, and these tell-tale signs would be there. You don’t need to smoke because there isn’t an addiction. I presume you do it to attract men, though possibly women too, and to fit into the culture of London, as you are not from here. But you specifically looked up this park because you were looking for something or someone. I would presume it is me, considering you recognized me through my name” he says smuggly, finally looking at me. I didn’t know it then, but he later explained that he was shocked to see the prominence of my “subtle beauty”, and the way in which I held posture in every way that symbolized I was relaxed next to him. This of course was followed by the fact that I was so comfortable that I had gained a pound within the first year of knowing him. 

“So you are as good as they say,” I reply, looking up into his clear blue eyes. Those eyes dart down to my lips where the cigarette is still being held by the moisture of my mouth. I remove it, holding out the cigarette between my fingers. “I can imagine it is worlds different from a regular cigarettes addictive effects, but the smell of smoke and the herbs inside might calm you,” I offer. He leans down and takes the cigarette in his mouth, inhaling deeply. I let go of the cigarette as he leans back and removes it. He exhales out, happy to have something other than CO2 leave his lungs. 

“You could have phoned” he said nonchalantly. I closed the newspaper and turned my body slightly more towards him. 

“No I couldn’t. This isn’t about a case or me looking for my parents or some shit. I needed you to listen. I am a doctor and I am looking for the topic of my next publication” I state. His eyes widen a bit, as he gives me a once over. I was quite young to have a doctorate, but the ambition I have was intriguing to him.

“Great, another doctor. And you must study some form of psychology right?” he implies. 

I chuckle as I brush the hair behind my ear to look at him as I explain my credentials. 

“BA in a social science and a minor in Women's Studies and Gender, just to make it easier on you. Two masters in something to do with policy and a knack for behavior trends across cultures. A PhD in…” I trail off to let him figure it out. 

“International Relations. You couldn’t let go of the need to work abroad and help other. You also study the difference in human behaviors and how it can be interpreted and persuaded. It is why you are now living in London, after living in a southern European country, and I’m going to go with Italy” he responds. 

I raise my eyebrow at him. “Italy was fun. I spent most of the time on the mainland with a friend and would visit their family in Sardinia”. 

“He was gay wan’t he?”

“Not that he himself knew.”

The detective laughed. It was the beginning of a friendship, with many late nights, bad coffee and fighting. I lived in the basement of 221 Baker Street, after coming to a bargain price with Mrs. Hudson if I agreed to get rid of the black mold and redo the space for future renters. When I asked her why she was already thinking of future renters, she just smiled and told me Sherlock's door was open and I could just walk in. 

Now, a year and a half later, I was in his flat, in my own night gown and robe, working on pot of tea to make a London foggy, one of Sherlocks favorite drinks I could make. I had told him that if he got to work in his pajamas, or just a sheet at times, then he couldn’t expect anything less of me. But his abrupt statement that we were going to a party had me do a double take. 

“A party? Are we feeling like clubbing tonight Sherlock?” I tease. 

“It is just a bit of field work. But I need you to come with as my date so that I am not bothered by lonely, sad women.”

“Ah yes. All the lonely, sad women will flock to the handsome, cocky detective for comfort and an inquisitive night,” I mock, bringing the tea to him. 

“Isn’t that what you did?” He says without looking up. 

Offended, I grab the paper from his hands and smack him on the head with it. He flinched, protecting his tea from me. 

“Haven’t you figured it out by now? I’m here for John” I say, tossing the paper into his lap. Sherlocks mouth slightly gapes before he snaps it shut, looking behind me. 

“I’m sorry, what did I just walk in on?” John says from the doorway. Sherlock turns red as I walk up to John, pulling my leg up on him, placing my hand on his cheek while giving him a lingering kiss on the other, maintaining eye contact with Sherlock. “Afternoon John,” I say with a flirtatious growl. He didn’t move since my dramatic act, and as I exited the apartment to get ready, I hear John exclaim “I could get used to that kind of welcome”. I laugh as I hear the paper get thrown at the doctor. 

Two hours later, and a lot of fighting with a curling wand, I hear a knock at my door. I do a once-over of myself in the mirror. It was a high-end party, requiring a more put together look, and I was determined to look my best. In helping Sherlock and John, I realized that I rarely dressed up-practicality and professionalism is key. 

I put my phone into my handbag, and slipped my feet into my black pointed stilettos. One more once-over in the mirror next to the door, and I unlatched the lock. As soon as I opened it, the detective couldn’t help but let his eyes wander. My hair was in loose curls around my face, and the dress, oh the dress, flattered my body in every way. It was a silk green dress, that hugged every curve. It was ruched in the sides, creating a tight draping across my abdomen. The fabric on my bust sat just below the tops of my breasts, and dropped to my off-the-shoulder sleeves. I was wearing a simple emerald necklace with matching earrings, and a ruby ring on my left hand. My legs were well accentuated, and the stilettos did wonders for my posture. Still, I was the same girl in pajamas at this now well suited man's place as I was now. 

“You’re giving yourself away Detective,” I flirt, walking by him to climb the stairs to the front of the building. I make extra care to add a little movement as I climb, knowing he would be right behind me and very distracted. It was my favorite game to tease both of the boys, but especially Sherlock. It was always a game, and he loved games. As I exited the building, John was waiting for us outside, also dressed sharply. His eyes widened as I walked towards him. 

“In the words of a great detective, ‘Your body betrays you’ John. It’s still me inside this get-up. Now where is the cab?” I ask. 

“Umm...uh, there hasn’t been an available one yet...” he forces out. 

London was busy on a Saturday night, and it could often be difficult to find a cab. Lucky for us, my dress is pretty reflective, and I was going to use that to my advantage. I stepped off the curb just slightly, jutting out my shoulder blades and putting my weight on one foot to give myself more shape. By the time I had raised my hand, two taxis pulled up. I heard a cough behind me, Mr. Holmes and Dr. Watson both smirking at me. 

“I’m sorry, did you have a better idea?” I shoot at them. I open the door for myself and climb into the cab. The two men clambered in after me. 

The party was at a lovely high-rise in the middle of London. It looked to be a penthouse, but one grander than I had ever seen. As the three of us exited the elevator, we looked at each other once more, setting our plan in motion. John was to walk around and mingle, while Sherlock and I were to snoop about the place, looking for context clues. I grabbed a flute of champagne from one of the trays, and Sherlock and I began our promenade. We quickly realized that I was drawing a bit too much attention in my get-up and we would need to look around before people noticed we were gone. Our arms entwined, we strolled past the main crowd into a hallway, casually chatting the weather. The detectives hand was on my waist, holding tightly, as though I might leave his side. It was different than they way he usually grabbed my arm to move me around or out of the way of harm. 

We were looking for the bedroom of our hosts place, though, it did not seem there was one here. The penthouse was more of a party pad then a living space, which lends more to our profile of him. We continued to walk, and came across a study. His hand slid off my waist as he entered the room. I stood outside with my drink, while Sherlock took note of every little detail there. As he came out of the room though, I heard footprints coming round the corner. I grabbed his arm and pulled him into the bathroom next to the study. As I pushed him in, our eyes searched each other for the next move that we hadn’t initially planned. Though we were going as a date, it was never really a date. Until now. 

Grabbing the lapels of the detectives suit, I slammed my lips on his, pushing us both backwards onto the sink. Knowing that he was more recognizable. I spun him around so that my back was to the sink and his was to the door. I jumped on to the sink, hiking up my dress a little higher, so that I could hook one leg around his waist. Instinctively, his right hand went to my leg to hold it up, and his left hand was in my hair. 

His lips. I had seen them a million times before, studying his face as he rambled about a case. While he was just a colleague and possibly a friend, there were a few times when I would fall asleep thinking about those lips. And here he was, kissing me on a bathroom sink at a party, with enough force to make me melt into it. My hand went to his hair, as he began to trail kisses down my neck, hiding his face in me so that his reflection could not be seen. My other hand was gripping his waist, trying not to slip into the sink itself. My shoe was dangling on my toes as our bodies continued to crash. We heard the door click open, and my eyes opened to see the host and his assistant wide-eyed at us. 

“Occupied,” I panted, smiling with a small wave. The two quickly shut the door, their footprints receding down the hallway. As soon as it was quiet, Sherlock froze on my collarbone, neither of us moving for a moment. I removed my hand from his hair, trying to pat it back into place. He stood up, and looked down at me. My dress had ridden up further, and my black lace panties were definitely on display. So was the red in both of our faces. I glanced over his shoulder to look at the door, realizing that there was a lock on it. Sherlock didn’t look back. He kept his eyes on me. 

He knew there was a lock. He wanted the situation. He wanted to get caught.

“Lock it” I demanded.

He took a few steps back and turned the button, locking the door. His eyes didn’t leave me. I was still propped up against the sink, both hands propped up behind me. My legs had still been open, and as his eyes raked over my body looked, I grew self-conscious and went to close them. But he stepped towards me, grabbing my lower thigh. I hesitantly opened myself back up for him. His hand moved up my thigh, while the other wrapped around my waist, drawing himself closer to me. I placed a hand on his chest, running it up until it was at the nape of his neck, playing with his soft, black curls. I gently tugged him toward me, and our lips attached once more. This time, it was more more sensual. Taking the time to just allow ourselves to feel one another. As he pulled away, I let out a small gasp as I felt his growing bulge against my clothed core. 

He seized the opportunity to kiss me again, letting his tongue wander and explore my mouth, pulling me as close as I could be to him. He pushed himself against me, causing a soft moan to escape, as I involuntarily rolled against him. He smirked against my mouth, moving once more against me. I hissed, feeling myself grow wetter. 

Sherlock pulled me off the sink, wrapping both of my legs around him before pinning me against the wall. I was sitting just on top of his cock, and the friction was even more frustrating. I grinded down on him, kissing his neck, while leaving small bites in between. I needed more though. I unwrapped my legs, and he lowered me to the ground. When he placed me down, I kissed him with passion while I started to undo his trousers. He walked backwards to the sink, leaning up against it, as I palmed him through his suit. His low groan made me quiver as I licked a long stripe up his neck to his ear, wear I softly bit the lobe. This drove him crazy.

Pants still undone, he whipped us around so that I was against the sink again. He pulled my dress up enough so that he could hook his fingers in the lace of my panties and pull them down. He lifted me up on to the sink to get them off of me. He worked them past my heels, and placed both of his hands on my thighs, rubbing circles into them with his thumb. His forehead was resting on mine and we were both breathing in sync. I opened my legs for him, as he traced his way between my legs. The violinist in him was showing, and he was going to work out the tension and boredom he had been feeling all day. His fingers came in contact with me, running through my folds. He went from my clit down to my opening, just toying with me. I let out a whimper as he placed his middle finger just barely inside of me. He slowly pushed his digit inside of me, causing a guttural groan to escape. I bucked into his hand, desperate for more. He pumped it casually, as if he had done this to me a million times and knew how I would react. He then slipped a second finger into me, causing me to emit another moan. 

“Please Sherlock. No games,” was all I could manage. 

He began to pump his fingers in a come-hither motion, curling them to hit my g-spot. I gasped with every movement, keeping as quiet as I could. He was working his way to get me as wet as I could be for him. I was starting to feel the tension in my stomach build when he placed his thumb on my clit and made sharp movements with it. I cried out, gripping his shoulders for support. I was going to need him soon if he wanted to me to finish with his cock inside me. But he kept pumping and rubbing, watching as my face conveyed every emotion he had ever made me feel. My arm wrapped around his neck, as I could barely keep myself up anymore. 

“Sherlock, you-you’re gonna..m-make me..c-cum…” I stutter out. I am rocking against his hand, chasing what I can’t stop. This only urges him more, as he quickens his pace. Without warning, I cum all over his finger with a cry. But he doesn’t stop. He continues to work my pussy, until I gasp out “I’m...I’m gonna squirt”. He steps out from between my legs, his fingers not stopping. As he steps to the side, he leans in to my ear and finally says something. 

“Show me”. 

It was all it took for my orgasm to elongate itself, as I squirted on his hand. I couldn’t stop and was shaking, barely able to keep myself up. I almost crumpled backwards before he caught me. Once again, he was between my legs, his hands on my neck and waist. I reached for his painfully hard cock, pulling it from his pants. I started stroking him, causing his eyes to flutter close. I was still coming down from what he had done with just his fingers, but I needed his dick inside me. I looked up at him, and said something that I knew would only boost his ego, and he would probably use against me later. 

“Mr. Holmes, I need you inside me, now”. 

His eyes shot open, as I looked back at him with lust-blown eyes. My hand was still wrapped around his cock, slowly pumping him. He and his god-complex were completely enamoured with my new take of teasing him. I lined his cock at my entrance, but not before teasing him through my folds. Just that little movement caused goosebumps to erupt on my skin. As I put his tip in my entrance, he searched my eyes once more for the consent he needed. I pushed myself onto him a little, letting him know he could take me. He leaned in, pushing his length all the way into me. I let out a loud gasp, wrapping my arm around his neck once more, my other hand on his back. I was still throbbing from my previous orgasm, and I knew he could feel my warm pulse inside me. He slowly pulled out, and then quickly sheathed himself inside me again. Our pelvises were against each other and his gently movements drove me crazy. I let out a cry of ecstasy, letting my head roll back, exposing my neck. He kissed it gently, and then, lifted me off the counter and back against the wall. All I could do was struggle to remain quiet as he began quick thrusts deep into me, relentlessly hitting my sweet spot. He was open mouthed against my neck, breathing erratically as he continued to hold me up. 

“You feel, s-so g-good,” I moaned, urging him to continue. He loved it when I complimented him, he had always been that way. But to be inside me as I told him how much I loved his cock, it was heaven for him. The guttural sounds from his throat proved to me that he felt the same.

“Y/n, I’m not gonna last much longer” he said, as though it would deter me. As he began to remove himself, I grabbed his face to look at me. 

“I want you to cum inside, Detective,” I whisper, wrapping my legs tighter around him to prove my point. 

His eyes widened searching my face as I was in taking all of him, bouncing on his dick in a penthouse bathroom, loving everything he did. Seeing what he could do to me, looking into my eyes as I stifled my moans, he began to stutter inside of me. I was on the edge too, and when his hot rope of cum shooted inside of me, my own orgasm exploded, milking him of the rest of his cum. 

When we had both stilled, frozen with him still inside me, we could hear the party still going and the noise of London below us. He pulled his softening cock from me and as he did, our cum dripped down my thigh. My legs were incredibly weak, as he continued to hold me up. I reached for a hand towel to clean me up, but he beat me to it, wiping up and between my legs, careful not to cause pain from the sensitivity. He picked up my underwear that he had tossed on the ground somewhere, and helped me step back into it. I was still shaky if I bent my legs, but I knew he would hold me up. As we looked at each other, there was something new we both saw. Romance. The sexual chemistry that had been there was a response to the catalyst of romance. 

Before we could discuss the aftermath of our actions though, there was a loud banging on the door. Smoothing out my dress just past the door, Sherlock opened it to find John, arms crossed, waiting outside.   

“Are you shitting me Sherlock? You look like you just took a hit of something. Did you seriously lose Y/N at this party because you were trying to get hi…”

The door widened to reveal me, just behind Sherlock, makeup slightly down my fae, and both of our hair tousled. I smiled at John, knowing it wasn’t what he had expected. His jaw dropped, “Tha..you were,,,um...has this been long or...?” Dr. Watson stuttered. 

“No John, that was the first time and it won’t be the last” he said, grabbing my arm and pulling me past him. 

“Don’t be too jealous John,” I said with a wink. 

John didn’t know what to say except, “Are we done here?”

Sherlock and I walked arm in arm down the hallway, casting back a look at John as if to say “What do you think?” 

~~~~~~~~~~~

This was my first oneshot and was it trash? Yeah, maybe. So if you know me, no you don’t :)

Leave suggestions if you’d like, I’m writing smut I can’t find. 

[beatricethecat2]

"Chill for a minute! You're making me nervous," Myka says.

"I'll not miss the performance because of a third-rate watchman," Helena huffs.

"Abigail said she'd sort this out."

"Abigail got us into this."

"She didn't slug him."

"He tackled me."

"You grabbed the book and ran."

"And I'd have succeeded were it not for that wandering child," Helena gruffs. "Who brings a child to theater?"

"You wouldn't have brought Christina?"

"Were she old enough and properly dressed, yes. That child was in dungarees."

"They probably came to see the exhibition not the matinee—"

"We're not dressed properly either," Helena grumbles, swiping dirt off a pant leg.

"Theater's not as formal as it used to be. And you did put your hair up," Myka says, flashing a feeble smile.

"And now it's mussed. It wasn't much to look at to begin with." Helena fusses with her bun.

"Hey, I think you look really nice," Myka says, reaching over, stilling Helena's hands.

"This is hardly theater attire."

"It's the Oregon Shakespeare Festival not the Met Opera."

"Attending the theater used to mean something." Helena's hands drop to her lap.

"It still does, but not corsets and gowns." Myka raises a brow. "Would you have worn a dress if this was a real date?"

"I very well may have. I'd certainly have made more of an effort."

"A nineteenth or twenty-first century effort?

"May I not embody both?"

"Yeah, but I'm just noticing you sort of default to the nineteenth when you're around me."

"And you disapprove."

"No. It think it's kind of sweet. I like that you don't have to hide who you are with me." Myka bumps her shoulder into Helena's.

"And to think, I once yearned to live in a future such as this. I'd no clue how exhausting it'd be being out of time."

"It'll get easier," Myka says, meeting Helena's unsure gaze. She leans towards Helena and Helena follows suit, their lips nearly touching when a door slamming in the distance halts the action.

"So, um...when's the last time you saw Shakespeare?" Myka asks, recomposing herself.

Helena thinks back. "Hamlet, in Stratford; Sarah Bernhardt as lead. We'd travelled specifically to see her, as it was unusual for a woman to play a male's part. She was her bombastic self, but watching Shakespeare translated into French was odd. I may have opinions about the American accent as well."

"Oh you will."

"Flipping through those gravures on display really took me back. Then the cabinet cards...are you familiar with those actors?"

"No."

"Such a shame," Helena says, pushing up from her slouch to sit upright.  "Ellen Terry, she who worked so very hard to elevate the acting profession for women and men; Lillie Langtree, the beauty who pulled her reputation up from the mud through her craft; Violet Vanbrugh, locked in competition with her sister for the spotlight...celebrities, one and all, yet seeing them now, they feel like lost friends." 

Helena sighs deeply and looks away. "When I snatched the book, my mind was no longer present. Hence the guard getting a jump on me."

"It's going to work out," Myka says, flashing a comforting smile.

"How exactly is Abigail remedying this? I heard little of your hushed conversation earlier," Helena says, narrowing her eyes at Myka.

"She's convincing them to put it back so we can swap it with a copy she's sending."

"Could she not have done so previously?"

"With Artie out of town, she's scrambling to keep up."

"How exactly is she convincing them?"

"She's, um..." Myka looks down at her lap and adjusts her wrist watch. "Do you actually need to know?"

"I do now," Helena says, swerving in her seat to face Myka.

"She's posing as your therapist."

"And I'm a babbling idiot."

"No...our pitch is you're obsessed with Victoriana."

"Convenient," Helena grumbles, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Do you want to see the play or not?"

"What do you think?"

"I think we wouldn't be here at all if Abigail hadn't asked us to snag volume nine of 'The Illustrated Library of Shakespeare.' And I think she'll fix this for now so we can see a play like two normal people who see plays. We'll worry about the book tomorrow."

Helena's scowl stays firmly in place.

"I'll make it up to you tonight at the hotel," Myka says, eyes pleading.

"Placating me for performing the Warehouse's bidding is not in the least desirable—"

"Ooh, look, he's coming out," Myka says, patting Helena's leg as she rises to talk to the head of security. "Stay here."

Helena stays put but her scowl grows all consuming.

-END SCENE-

------------------

Bering and Wells: Field Trip ("Warehouse 13" Season 5 replacement) Season 1: Episode 7 Title: Oregon: To one thing constant never

Summary: With Warehouse staff stretched thin, Myka and Helena are asked to dash from Myka's parents to The Oregon Shakespeare Festival. The pickup hits a snag when Helena, lost in memories, bungles the retrieval. Emotions run high when Helena reveals an unshakable impulse that threatens their newfound bliss.

Previously: Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5, Episode 6

------------------

BONUS SCENE

The next day, in the parking in the lot of the festival, freshly off the phone from the Warehouse, Myka turns to Helena.

"Artie's booking us a flight. He wants us to bring the book in person—"

"We are not altering our plans again," Helena sneers. "He can pick it up from us."

"I think he needs it sooner," Myka mumbles. "It'll be quick, just a day or two. Maybe we can push our bookings up?"

"As if that's worked in the past."

"True," Myka says, shoulders slumping as she sighs defeatedly. "Then we'll skip Mendocino and head straight to San Francisco from there. I'll grab some of my stuff since we might stay in the city longer." She turns the key, revving the car to life.

"I'll drive to Mendocino and meet you in San Francisco. You go on to the Warehouse."

"But Artie said you can come," Myka explains, looking over her shoulder, backing out of their parking spot. She puts the car in drive and moves towards the exit.

"There's no reason for me to do so."

"But you haven't met Abigail. Or Steve, really. Plus Claudia's dying to see you—"

"Myka, I can't."

Myka steps on the brake and turns to face Helena. "Is this a Regent thing? Because Artie wouldn't have said you could come if you couldn't."

"It's not a Regent thing."

"Then what?" Myka huffs.

"We've not time to discuss this now."

"Then tell me the abbreviated version."

A honk from behind jolts them both.

"Alright, alright!" Myka grumbles, pulling out of the parking lot and onto the road.

"You go on. I'll follow our plan," Helena says. "I wish to feel the land shifting underfoot, as if Elizabeth, Christina, and I had made our way through California in my own day."

"Wouldn't that have been on a train? Or a carriage maybe?" Myka asks.

"Is a car not the modern equivalent?"

"I guess," Myka says, her face the picture of concern. "You know, most of San Francisco was destroyed in the 1906 earthquake. There's not much left from back then."

"No matter. It's the spirit in which it's encountered."

"Then I want to 'encounter' it with you."

"Then have them pick the book up from us. You're not obligated to obey their every beck and call."

"I guess not," Myka says, frowning as she stops at a red light.

"Their prerogative led us to rush here, waylaying our plans," Helena presses.

"And the plays."

"Which we may have seen, in our own time, had we not been browbeaten into a retrieval—"

"We weren't browbeaten, we were helping Abigail—"

"The light's green."

"I see that," Myka grumps, the car jerking forward as she presses on the gas too hard. "So that's why you won't come with me? You're mad we came here in the first place?"

"It more than that. My relationship with the Warehouse must remain distant. Better if I retain none at all."

"How exactly is that going to work? Because I live there."

"I'd rather not discuss this while you're driving."

"Then I'll stop." Myka flips her turn signal and veers left at an intersection. She swings into a parking lot turns off the engine. "You said I'm your One. That we're partners."

"You are both of those things to me."

"But you can't come to the Warehouse, maybe ever? Explain." Myka shifts in her seat to face Helena as fully as possible.

"I've come to understand distance may be the only remedy for certain...triggers."

"What triggers?"

"Where to start?"

"Anywhere, really," Myka gruffs, holding onto Helena's petulant gaze.

"A hundred years in bronze weighs heavy on one's soul."

"You were fine there before."

"Was I?"

"You said it was your tether!"

"I'd have said anything to—"

"Gain access, dupe everyone, and destroy the world. I know." Myka scowls. "But you wouldn't do that again."

"That's no longer my vice," Helena says.

"Then what is?"

Helena looks off into the distance. "A secondary plan, utilizing artifacts catalogued since my bronzing."

"W-What kind of plan?" Myka says, her back straightening.

"One in which Christina would be returned to me."

"Wait, you tried again when you were there?"

"How could I not?" Helena laments. "I've hatched countless schemes since."

"But you said you'd made peace with not having kids."

"Moving forward. But I may never find true peace with Christina's passing. Apparently, it's not uncommon."

"How do you know?"

"At the precinct, after particularly gruesome cases, they conducted psychological evaluations. I'd breezed through most, but one in particular, concerning the death of a little girl, was difficult to shake."

"Oh, Helena." Myka scoots forward and takes hold of Helena's hand. "What happened?"

"I recounted my story, albeit heavily modified, and learned about triggers. Avoiding them entirely was an acceptable solution, so the Warehouse...but you? You were a conundrum."

"I was a trigger, too." Myka slips her hand from Helena's but Helena grabs it back.

"You remained a symbol of hope, of all that was good in this world. I ached to be near you but feared disappointing you again. When you turned up in Montreal, I was drumming up the courage to approach you."

"But you weren't there yet."

"I wasn't," Helena says, squeezing Myka's hand. "Asking you to separate yourself from your home, from your calling, was difficult to justify. But after hearing of your illness, nothing else mattered but being by your side."

Helena cups Myka's jaw and strokes her cheek with a thumb. "But I must protect myself, and you, from those demons."

Helena shifts closer and guides their lips together. Their kiss lingers until Myka's phone rings.

"Artie," Myka says, answering in an instant. "We can't come. We'll keep the the book safe until someone can pick it up—"

Myka moves the phone away from her ear at Arties loud volume.

"Ok, ok! But H.G.'s not coming. Put me on a flight."

Myka places her hand over the microphone and glances at Helena. "He said Mrs. Frederic's there and 'needs it yesterday'—"

She's interrupted by Artie chiming in.

"I'm not taking a flight with two connections because it leaves tonight! Put me on a red eye."

Grumbling emanates from the other side of the phone.

"Five-thirty's fine. Send me the details."

More grumbling, then silence. Myka hangs up the phone.

"Artie seems his usual congenial self—"

"I'm really proud of you," Myka blurts, turning to face Helena again.

"Whatever for?" Helena asks, head tilting, brow furrowing.

"For fighting your demons on your own. Though I wish we'd been doing it together."

"From now on, we shall," Helena says, meeting Myka halfway as she leans in for another kiss.

Hands reach across the console, twining in hair, groping at necks, arms, shoulders, as if the space between them is too great.

Minutes later, a tap on the window jerks them apart.

"Ma'ams, bank won't open again until 9AM," a man says as Helena rolls down the window. "I'm going to have to ask to come back tomorrow."

"Bank?" Myka croaks, scanning the parking lot, eyes locking on a glowing sign at its entrance. "Oh, bank."

"Terribly sorry officer. We pulled over to take a call before becoming...distracted," Helena explains.

"Just a security guard, ma'am. But I'd appreciate it if you move on. I didn't want to disturb you but my manager's going to wonder why you were here so long."

"Nothing nefarious, I assure you. We'd have been stealthier were anything afoot," Helena says with a wink.

"Helena!"

"Just reassuring the boy."

"We didn't mean to....we were just..." Myka stumbles over a more direct explanation.

"We've been granted one more night together before our separation."

"But we do have a hotel room."

"And mere hours before I'm to deliver you to the airport."

"True." Myka's lips push together, her face contorting into one of a new understanding. "Not enough hours. We should go."

"Thank you again for accommodating us," Helena says to the security guard.

"Um, sure?" he says as Helena rolls up the window.

"We'll make this work," Myka says, slipping a hand over Helena's thigh as she drives away. "I know we can."

"I adore your enthusiasm," Helena says, covering Myka's hand with her own, threading their fingers together.

-END-

-TBC-

NOTES: A quick reminder - this Christina is the daughter of Helena's original "One" back in the 1800's - Elizabeth. I think that story is in the second installment of this series. Also note this text probably pretty rough as I'm out of town and have sporadic internet (remember DSL?) and so haven't been able to use my usual text checkers (let me know if anything's super bad!) I'm putting it up now so I won't fuss over it as I'd like to not fuss over *anything* this week. Also, the first manip is one of my favorites - there's only one I can think of that tops it, but it's not public yet (I think you'll know when you see it.) Anyway, here are some of the people HG mentioned. And here are some of the amazing panoramas of the SF earthquake. Also Sarah Bernhardt - look her up, she was *quite* the character.

[nevermindirah]

So, Captain America’s shield.

Here’s a symbol made of metal stolen from Wakanda and painted red white and blue for the purpose of mythologizing and defending ~America~. It gained its symbolic meaning through the blood, sweat, and tears of marginalized white Americans: disabled dirt-poor son of Irish immigrants Steve and implied-Jewish-in-Agent-Carter Howard. Is a Black man, descended from people who were stolen from Africa and forced to build the United States under horrific conditions, taking up this symbol only a “the master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house” situation, or is it worthwhile to manage the messy politics for the sake of the entire country celebrating Sam’s heroism as the obvious successor to Steve’s legacy?

I want Falcon and Winter Soldier to explore ALL the complex reasons Sam declined to take up the Cap mantle. Like the fear Sam has, and lots of other regular human people with high integrity and a strong moral code have, that the risk of making one mistake that hurts people makes him somehow unworthy (when this perspective is what makes Sam worthy, just like Steve “it’s not about me” Rogers before him). Like does he even want to bother representing a country that stole his ancestors and wants his labor and his aesthetics but not his perspective and will hate him even more for trying this. (Head writer Malcolm Spellman has told press that the majority-Black writers room is definitely planning on going here and I cannot wait to see more.) Like Sam got out for a good reason and once upon a time Captain America needed his help and that was a good as hell reason to get back in but is it still a good reason after all the fresh trauma he’s been through. Like his sister and nephews could use his help and maybe helping his family and hometown economically and psychologically recover from the blip is a better use of his energy and expertise than US imperialism or whatever the fuck SWORD is doing.

I want the show to explore why Sam gave the shield to the Smithsonian, specifically. Why this institution? It’s a unique part of the federal government that in some ways functions as an independent nonprofit educational institution and in some ways is a joint project of the 3 branches of the federal government (the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, Vice President, and a few selected Senators and House members are always on its senior decision-making body). The Smithsonian is an obvious choice if Sam was deciding “which museum do I give the shield” — but was that the decision he was making? If Sam chose to give this historically meaningful but also still very powerful tool of war to the Smithsonian instead of the Department of Defense, that’s a very interesting character and plot choice and I want to see more about that. Especially given the Smithsonian seems to have immediately handed it over to the DOD without Sam’s input.

There’s a very obvious choice that I have zero faith Disney will explore but that would be infinitely more meaningful than Sam carrying the shield into battle, some right-wing jackass doing the same, or the shield sitting in an exhibit at the Smithsonian. Repatriate the shield to Wakanda. There’s no way in hell that pile of vibranium made its way to Howard Stark without colonialist theft involved. Sam could just give it back.

Imagine a museum exhibit in Birnin Zana that displays Captain America’s shield and shows the timeline from Wakanda protecting itself from European colonialism and its people from enslavement but some white people still managing to steal a little vibranium, to an American son of Jewish immigrants using some of that stolen vibranium to build a tool for an American supersoldier to use in fighting Nazis, to Steve Rogers using it first against and then alongside King T’Challa of blessed memory, the Black Panther who opened Wakanda to the world, and finally Sam Wilson, an African American who may or may not have Wakandan ancestry and may never know where on the continent his ancestors were stolen from, taking up Steve’s mantle and using that power to return this complicated piece of American symbolism to its ancestral home. Imagine African American kids seeing that exhibit on field trips to Wakanda.

Sam is going to pay a price no matter what he does with the shield, because that’s how antiblackness works. He’s paying a price right here on this hellsite because some fans can’t see past their Bucky obsession long enough to think about the white supremacist context of their shitposts. He would pay a hell of a price for going so far as to repatriate to Wakanda an object that many in-universe white Americans would no doubt see as a sacred object of ~their~ country. We saw at the end of this first episode the heartbreaking, insulting price Sam paid for giving the shield to the Smithsonian. Fuck how I wish there were an easier path for this character who is just so, so good and deserves a little goddamn peace already.

All that said, one thing I do have confidence Disney will give us is Sam punching that live-action Hydra Cap in the face on his way to taking back the shield. The politics of this show are messy as hell, but at very fucking least they can let Sam get in a really good punch.

[dramatistvx]

Loki fic recs!

Hello there! Here are some of the Loki fics I’ve read that I thought were really good :) Enjoy! 

Some of the fics contain dark themes so please read the tags and be safe! :)

Time Travel -fix it- 

The Fun With Time Loops series by Infinite_Monkeys

Summery first work:

With One More Try (Can We Start Again) 

Loki's attempt to conquer Earth has, to his great dismay, succeeded spectacularly. When Thanos sends him to collect the Time Stone, he strikes a deal with the Stone's keeper: he'll be sent back to the beginning of the invasion, and this time, armed with knowledge about his opponents, he can lose properly.

Or: a time loop fic in which Loki does increasingly desperate things to try and get the Avengers to defeat him already. 

Words: 13,563 - chaptered

Series total; 4 works, words: 78,913

Pretty sure you’ve already heard about this one and for good reason. It’s so good! Loved the whole series. I liked the third work best, tho it’s quite a bit longer than the others -60 k- It has more depth and -wayyy more angst- you get to see more of Loki struggling and him generally being in pain oOp- but he’s trying! Also Thor just wants to help bc he cares hihi. Love love love.

those yesterdays bleeding through by wnnbdarklord

Loki dies on the desolate plains of Svartalfheim, Thor's howls of grief ringing in his ears. He wakes up on his bed in his cell, where there is no sign of destruction.

A time loop fic where Loki gets the chance to fix things on the day the Dark Elves attack Asgard. And another. And another.

Words: 9,508

Another great time travel fix-it fic! I actually read the Fun With Time Loops series because I liked this fic so much and needed more lmao. There’s also a twist in the end that I didn’t see coming ;) It has so much angst for 9k I love XD I’d say that it’s a bit more explicit in the angst so be aware! Overall great read if you want something short and angsty but with a hopeful ending. 

De aging

Amateur Theatrics by galaxysoup

In which Thor’s primary problem-solving method (a mighty blow from Mjolnir) fails to have the desired effect on a magical artifact, and his secondary method (a mightier blow from Mjolnir) proves to be actively disastrous.

Words: 26,586 - chaptered

Love love love this one! After a magical accident, Loki accidentally gets de aged and it’s the most adorable thing ever. There’s fluff and angst and kid Loki is just so precious. I also love how Loki and Clint bond in this. Literally go read this! xD

Hurt/Comfort, Angst

Ichor in Violet by tirsynni

When Thor learns that Loki can travel to other realms without Heimdall seeing, of course he convinces Loki to take them both to Jotunheim to hunt Frost Giants. There an accident unravels centuries of lies and threatens to unravel Loki, too.

Words: 14,574 - chaptered

Where Loki accidentally discovers who he really is and has trouble dealing. Thor is confused, he just loves his brother. The angsttttt. This is dark so be aware! 

The Tapestries series by Lise

Summary first work:

It turns out that even a god can't escape a beating by the Hulk unscathed. At the end of the Battle of New York, Loki doesn't get back up. This changes more than you'd think. 

Series total; 4 works, Words: 30,727

Oh the angst *wrings hands* 

This series is amazing! It’s Loki struggling to deal with centuries of unresolved anger and hurt while simultaneously trying to cope with more recent events, the Void..Thanos. 

Basically, Loki just wants to go home, wherever that may be. Everyone’s trying, genuinely trying. You just gotta know when -how- to stop fighting. It’s very well written and It really dives into the psychological aspects of his trauma. Also, Odin actually cares for once lmao. This one is also pretty dark so be aware! 

Mistakes Made (And Corrected) by ADreamer67

In a different universe, Hela rebelled sooner. In a different universe, Hela Odinsdottir seduced Laufey with promises of power and convinced him to attack Midgard. In a different universe, Hela got pregnant, and didn't want to be. In a different universe, Hela left her newborn son for dead and went to face her father.

In a different universe, Loki Helajarson is two hundred and fifty years older than Thor. Let's see what happens.

Words: 47,072

Woah, just- this is so good!! It’s a very different take on Loki’s character but it’s still really fitting. After Thor is banished and the Odin sleep is fast approaching, Loki is to be king. Things don’t go very well for him, to say the least. I loved how the characters were portrayed and absolutely adored the dynamic between Loki and Thor. There’s so much angst and turmoil and it’s pretty dark so read the tags and be safe! 

Just Close Your Eyes by ADreamer67

Ragnarok has come to pass, the Asgardians have reached a deal with the leaders of Midgard for territory of their own, Loki is allowed to stay (provided he doesn’t leave said territory), and Thor is settled on the throne. So all in all, things are going well, if you ignore the recent massacre and planetary annihilation.

Well, except for the fact that Loki is working himself into the ground. And Thor is having none of it.

Cue a not entirely legal brotherly field trip where Thor will make Loki relax, or die trying. Responsibilities? Pssh, who cares about those? (Hint - Loki. Very much so)

Words: 31,832 - chaptered, still going

So fun! It starts out pretty angsty but it gradually becomes a little more lighthearted. Then, it’s just Thor and Loki exploring Midgardian customs together -mostly Loki being mildly disgusted by them lmao- :) 

Birthright by ADreamer67

Four years ago, Odin told Loki his birthright was to die. If only he knew.

When the Laufeyson was born small, too small and frail to survive, the solution seemed obvious. Though it had been many a generation since it had been done, the child was brought forth to the Casket, to be bound to its' power in an ancient ceremony that would imbue the little one with all the strength of a typical Jotun. That ceremony was interrupted by battle, and the child was left with the unguarded casket, in the hopes that the casket could keep it alive until it was safe to finish the ceremony.

That ceremony was never finished.

Over a thousand years later, the Casket of Ancient Winters is destroyed during Ragnarok. No one thought this would be an issue, least of all Loki. Guess what.

Words: 76,599 - chaptered, still going

This is so good!!! It’s one of the first fics I read in the fandom and it has really set my standards high. There’s so much angst and turmoil and it’s so well written. I absolutely adored the dynamic between the crew and how much Thor loves his brother even though Loki thinks he doesn’t deserve it. I really like the way ADreamer67 portrays the characters. 

Soulmate/Soulbond, Relationships

Maybe You (and your sad blue eyes) by alby_mangroves

Loki had already come to accept being born without a bonded soul to cleave to, one more way in which he would always be the lesser brother. So of course it made sense that it would settle upon him when he least expected it.

(Set in the timeline of Captain America: The First Avenger, Thor, and The Avengers. Canon divergent just before Chitauri invasion.)

Words: 29,258 - chaptered

I don’t really ship Loki and Steve -bc stucky heheh- but I came across this fic in another rec list and I absolutely loved it, plus the art is stunning! Def a great read if you like angsty soulmate/soulbond fics but with a happy ending.

The sexual awakening of Steve Rogers by aLoggedInReader

Steve's life has always been complicated, but he did not know just how much of a rollercoaster it could become until Bucky came to stay with him.

Bucky is trying to be helpful and get Steve to live a little, but between being a hundred years old and having only lived a couple of those years, as an assassin for Hydra to boot, he tends to miss the mark now and then.

Adding an Asgardian prince in exile to the mix surprisingly does not make things easier.

Words: 47,333, still going

Sksjsksksk I don’t really ship Loki/Steve but this one is just so fun. features a lot of female Loki, flustered Steve, protective Bucky and overall wholesomeness and chaotic energy. Everyone just wants Steve to be happy. -mostly Steve centric-

The lines, here are written by dfotw

In a world where everyone has their soulmate's name written on their wrists, Steve Rogers has quite a lot more... and Loki, a lot less.

Words: 18,009 - chaptered

Lmao Imma just stop saying I don’t ship them XD This one is also really good. It’s angsty and tender with a hopeful ending. 

[wistfulwatcher]

Hello I saw your tag on that "im 25 and dying post" please tell us how it got better for you. Im 26, still living with parents, currently having a fight with my boyfriend, and i still have a year until I get my bachelors. The comparison to everyone younger than me is killing me.

I'm really sorry to hear that you're struggling, but I hope you can take some solace in the fact that that post has a lot of notes and you are absolutely not alone in feeling the way you do! I can certainly try and share my experience, but unfortunately I think the biggest factor is just time (and like, a buttload of self-reflection).

I moved back home after college and worked full time at an administrative job I was doing during school breaks. I majored in psychology and anthropology in college, and was planning to eventually go into forensic psychology, but wasn't interested in going straight into grad school. So I did that administrative job for about a year, and tried to find something that was a bit more stable and at least semi-related to my field. I did end up finding a new job when I was 23 - stable, semi-related to my field (a psych/research background was required), and decent pay (especially as I was still living at home). Exactly what I needed, since I still wasn't ready to start looking into grad school.

I was doing pretty well, until I started getting comfortable at that job, and then I started getting hit with the "I'm not doing enough," and "I need to look into grad school," and "will I ever find a boyfriend?" (friendly reminder that 23-year-old me thought she was straight, yikes), "how will I afford to move out, I have to save my money and do it soon!", "I'm not doing anything but watching TV, I'm wasting my life," "I'm lonely, but I'm too tired to try and make friends," etc., etc.

But it wasn't constant. I'd have a flurry of those questions and fears, and then days where I was just living life and doing my job and taking care of my dogs, without any of that. And I don't think I felt good or particularly comfortable those days, it was more like I just wasn't actively thinking about it, like when you feel "good" after a physical pain goes away and you're just normal.

Eventually, I started thinking about all of these concerns I had, and the fact that it felt like it was URGENT whenever I thought about them. It felt like I needed to get my shit together immediately. I also started to acknowledge that there was this big sense of guilt around those concerns; I was too old to be living at home, I was too old to be single, I was too old not to be starting a career. I felt like I was wasting my life (cue the guilt), and I realized that part of why I felt like I was wasting it was that I felt like I was missing milestones I wouldn't be able to do at a later time because the older I was past "normal" the more humiliating it would be to try (cue the shame and embarrassment, hard).

I also started to doubt that I wanted to go into forensic psychology. More importantly, I started to seriously doubt that I wanted a "career" at all. My job (as I kept that same semi-related to my field one) was absolutely a job, not a career. And I think this was a huge tipping point for me, because a career had always been a given in my life. I'm passionate about what I'm interested in, so it literally just never occurred to me that I would be content with a job. I also started acknowledging that I had some messed up associations about being content with a job meaning that I was lazy (because the only way to be ambitious is with a career and, more damaging, a lack of ambition is fundamentally bad).

Now, I need to clarify that all of the above occurred over the course of years. I was constantly seeing "friends" (i.e., of the facebook variety) go to grad school, start careers, get married, buy homes, etc. And with all of that alongside the entire mess I've outlined in the above paragraphs, it was really, really, tough. It gets hard to find a foothold in better thinking, I believe, when seeing all of these people (some younger) doing things "right" was really just compounding my guilt and shame. (I feel like it's worth mentioning, too, that I was always "an individual" growing up, march-to-the-beat-of-my-own-drummer, yada yada. I feel like that's worth pointing out for others who may be in the same boat, because I think it can lead to another layer of shame in comparing yourself to those around you - especially if it's a big part of your identity that you DON'T do that, because I think it's inevitable as you get older, and you're looking to reach these milestones that prove you're an adult.)

So, here I am, acknowledging that I feel guilt and shame about what I'm not doing. And suddenly I ask myself my first really important question: Do I want a career? The question hot on its heels is: Do I want to go to grad school? Honestly, my answer is no. There is nothing in me that's excited by the prospect. But what, does that mean I'm just going to work my job for the rest of my life? How is giving up going to make me feel better about Not Doing Enough?

As I'm opening this door (remember, years), three things happen: 1) I realize I'm gay, 2) I watch Dirty 30, 3) I start playing D&D.

First, realizing I'm gay. Woohoo! Not only was this exciting because girls are amazing, but it made me seriously look at myself. Realizing I had spent 25 years assuming one thing about myself that turned out to be completely wrong made me question everything for a while. I started to ask myself, "Do I really like this?" more often, which seems like a really obvious question, but I'm not convinced that it's one people ask themselves consciously all that often. But once I did, I realized how freeing it was to answer, "No," and move on to something I did like.

Second, I watched Dirty 30, the Grace Helbig/Mamrie Hart/Hannah Hart movie. It feels dramatic to say that it changed my life, but the older I get the more I honestly think it did. Mamrie Hart's character is a dental hygienist who is freaking out about turning 30 and feeling very much like that text post I reblogged. But (spoilers), at the end of the movie, she decides that she loves her job (job, not career!) because it's comfortable and she has fun at work, and that it makes her happy. She has other things going on, but the idea that a character in a film is content with her job and choosing to "settle" into her life as-is and she's genuinely happy about it? I honestly can't think of a single other time I've seen that happen on-screen. I still think about that ending very often. And after seeing it, I started to ask myself another question regularly: "Am I happy?" Again, this feels pretty obvious, but I think there is something incredibly empowering about making sure you are happy on a regular basis, instead of just assuming that you're fine until something hurts.

Third, I started playing D&D. This is not a plug for D&D! (Well, maybe a little.) One thing that happened to me when I started to get into the urgent-guilt-shame-confusion mess of my mid-20s was that I got very much into a routine of go to work, come home, sleep, go to work, come home, sleep, be totally brain-dead on the weekend, repeat. I found it very difficult to feel creative because I was just wiped, and as all of my creative outlets (gifs, fanfic) are self-motivated, it was really easy to brush them off. I ended up starting Critical Role (this is also not a plug for CR! well, maybe), and I wanted to give D&D a try myself. (I was VERY lucky - my best friend happened to be listening to the Adventure Zone at the same time I started CR, and she wanted to try to run a game. The stars truly aligned!)

I started playing, then DMing, and found that it was a great fit for my interests. I used to be a theatre kid, and I was getting to act again (something I didn't realize I was missing). I was getting to build and flesh out characters, which is what I love the most about writing fanfic. I was also discovering that I was stretching myself - world building and plot had never been my strong suit, but as a DM it became the majority of my creative effort. It gave me soft deadlines with people I didn't want to let down, and it made me truly social again for the first time since college. Essentially, it was filling in all of the gaps of what I felt lacking in my life. This isn't a D&D plug because it wasn't D&D specifically, but rather a hobby that satisfied what was missing in my life. For example, I didn't realize how isolated I was before D&D until I had regular interactions with friends, and that isolation absolutely made the urgent-guilt-shame-confusion worse.

D&D gave me that final push to realize that I was OK with having a job and being passionate about hobbies instead of trying to fit myself into a career, because I was getting out of that hobby what I had been convinced I would get out of a career. I started to really value that I could punch out and go have fun doing exactly what I wanted to do. (It feels so obvious as I type this, but it took me a long time to get here! Sometimes it really is that simple!)

The above is specific to my job vs. career struggle which may not be in the mix of things you're struggling with. But what I do think is universal/can be your take away, is that sometimes you just have to actively choose to let go of the pressure to be doing things. Which, I know, sounds so much easier than it is (and part of why I think it just takes time/is part of growing older). But I think it's something that can be worked at over time, by checking in with yourself about what you feel, why you feel it, and what you need to make yourself feel better in the present.

It's been 6 years since I started that semi-related job, and I'm still there. I still live with my mom. I'm still single. My circumstances have not changed since 24, but honestly? I'm OK. When I check in with myself about it, I do enjoy living with my mom and our dogs (even though I'm 30 and "real" adults move out). I am happy more often than I'm not (much more, actually!). I have a job that allows me to be done after 8 hours, and I have hobbies I look forward to doing each night (and the energy to do them, most of the time). My weekends are free to play D&D with my friends and laugh until I cry. That is what I've worked out as my definition of what I want life to be right now. You'll notice it includes none of the "milestones" that those younger than me have hit.

As I noted on that text post tag, I still struggle with this. I definitely have days where I think, I'm a mess, I'm not DOING anything. It's hard. But time does help, those days become fewer and farther between.

I know that was probably a hundred times longer than you wanted it to be, but I did want to illustrate just how much of a process it is. It takes time. My summary advice is to check in with yourself often, be honest about what you want and what you need, do not let anyone else define where you "should" be. And if you aren't living life how you want to be, identify what you can do (however small) to make yourself feel like you're getting closer.