#which was literally an honor
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@prince-of-red-lions (if you ever see this I love you btw<3)
Edit since a lot of people seem confused - your "real" name is the name that you want to be referred to in real life. It doesn't have to be your legal name. So if you're trans and you have a different name to whats on your birth certificate, even if not many people call you by the name, it still counts as your real name.
Edit 2 : Holy shit guys please stop reblogging this post my poor inbox im getting like 20 notifs an hour asjfhkajshdkh /lh /srs
#I go by LeeLee#which is like#kinda from my real name#but also not really...#and then Windy would call me Turdo#which was literally an honor#I miss you Windy🥲#leelee reblogs
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what is considered "beautiful" by society is inevitably sexist, racist, ableist, classist, transphobic, and bigoted. it targets and attacks any perceived difference, and it particularly villainizes women of color while co-opting aesthetics; as if features and cultural norms can be worn as accessories.
and the scary thing! you can see all of these things, know them to be true logically, and also know that you are treated better if you are perceived as beautiful. if you have ever been treated as "ugly", you know exactly how much society reviles you if you don't manage to scamper along and perform to their rules.
and how are you supposed to balance that? do you want a nose job to fix your broken nose, or have you just recently been seeing videos about how many people look better after nose jobs. do you want to lose weight to feel good, or is it that when you lose weight people treat you better. do you want to wear this outfit, or is it just the thing that's least likely to get you harassed. do you want to get lip injections for your reasons or is your whole reason that you don't feel beautiful unless you get those lip injections?
and the definitions shift. the goals get more specific. in the way that you only become aware of your tongue when someone mentions it; parts of your body are introduced as problems. i had never heard the term "hip dip" until about a year ago - and it was in the context of how to get rid of this. i'm 30, i know this shit is invented, and yet! i still find that strange voice saying but do you think someone is going to notice?
how the fuck am i supposed to say "this is my genuine choice i am making for my body" when i also know that years of my life have been spent socializing me to accept this as my inevitable fate? how do i know i'm actually doing this out of love for my body - or am i doing it for how i want others to see me, which will be lovely enough to feel loved? how am i supposed to recover when my unhealthy habits are seen as self-discipline but if i relax i'm openly mocked for "letting time win"? how the fuck am i supposed to say "i'm doing it for me" when i'm also very aware that i'm doing it to stop myself from being teased or demeaned? is it my choice if the other option is being bullied?
we are living in a hostage negotiation - either consent to the demands or spend the rest of your life being treated like you're a despicable person.
#i also have things to say about how gender plays into this#but it became like 1450 pages#so i saved the rest in a draft#btw? hip dips used to be like valued in the 90s & 2000s during the ultra thin craze#which is so fucking wild to me bc i am old enough to REMEMBER that people WANTED them#bc they're literally the shape of your bones. they're your hipbones showing. & you literally CANNOT 'target' that area#that would be like targeting your elbow. it's a fucking JOINT.#it is a place where you either do or do not carry mass. the lower ur bodyfat percent and the higher ur thigh & glute strength#the less that you will carry weight there#which is even MORE fucking cruel bc !!! the type of people who are already trying to improve themselves helplessly#are going to be aware of their body! and ur literally GIVING them an insecurity they LITERALLY do not decide!!!!#“it rounds out ur figure” here's something my guy! maybe people shouldn't have to look uniform and sleek !!!#maybe you just want to fuck a manatee !!!#if we're really at the point that you have to apologize for LITERALLY HAVING BONES.....#like sorry my legs had to connect somewhere in my form :( i will hide that from u. my apologies ur honor#(fashion bloggers gagging bc there's evidence other people have skeletons)
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its time for scp required reading... TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
please for the love of god heed the fucking warnings im so serious . like as much as i want to keep the tone of this post jokey and funny you NEED to heed the warnings on these
ok with that out of the way. read about my blorbos boy
''incident 239-b clef-kondraki'' (general warning for violence and blood/gore) - this one fucks. thats all i have to say about it
''technical issues'' - this one's funny + im biased because i fucking love pat the tech guy
''routine psychological evaluations by doctor glass'' - again i have personal bias about this (<- simon glass enjoyer + host is a glass introj) + this ones funny + if you're more into the fanon versions of the foundation staff this is right up your alley
''tradition'' - halloween party fun :-)
''dr cimmerian hits reply all'' - this is exactly what it sounds like i don't now what to tell you
''stupid cupid / stupid cupid: stop picking on me!'' - my house my rules read about cimmerian and his boytoy
''hawaiian shirts'' - clef fucking Breaks. thats all i can say about this without exploding into viscera
''help me my (love for) my daughter was born too still'' (general warning for mentions of child death) - i have personal bias about this (<- #1 agatha rights enjoyer) but this tale is So Good in general and a super interesting look at how agatha perceives herself and her work/life balance
''so leave yourself alone.'' (warning for graphic depictions of vomit and attempted suicide) - REALLY really really good look at clef kind of dropping his cruel persona and iris' mental health struggles regarding the foundation
''yesterday'' (warning for violence and implied/reference suicide. kind of.) - :-( <- this is the only way i can express my emotions about this tale. anyway it's really good and an interesting way of showing clefs relationships with people
''an apple a day...'' - REALLY good look at how dr glass is as a person and how he acts with people + this entire tale fucks SEVERELY
''personal log of dr gears / personal log of █████ 'iceberg' ████'' - good example of how gears and iceberg both format their documents / how they speak + its vaguely gearsberg + this gives a look at how gears and iceberg met. read the gearsberg tale boy
''portraits of your father'' (warning for graphic alcoholism, suicide, survivors guilt, and blood/gore) - super good look at draven and his relationship with his father, and kondraki's alcoholism, and also talloran is there. also three cheers for dravoran
''life's cold'' - most normal day iceberg has at this fuckass foundation + this is a good look at how iceberg acts and thinks
''fond memories'' (warning for death and body horror) - draven proposes! Draven proposes.
''scp-3999'' (warning for bugs, paranoia, death, body horror, sexual assault/rape, unreality, self harm, and depictions of bodily mutilation) - unironically this one fucks me up so bad its so fucking good dude. go read about james talloran RIGHT NOW
''i stared into the face of everything and nothing and made it back alive'' - this one also fucks me up so bad like i dont even have anything to say. read about talloran and draven RIGHT NOW
''you are at the center of everything that happens to you'' - james talloran talks to himself. kind of.
''a suicide note'' (warning for mentions of rape, child murder, survivors guilt, and suicide) - interesting look at clefs thoughts on him and his work
''date night'' - objectum win! dr alto clef is objectoromantic AND objectosexual! <- that should tell you all you need to know about this one
''scp-4231 / montauk house'' (warnings for graphic depictions of sexual assault, rape, child abuse/neglect, murder, domestic violence, verbal/physical abuse and survivor's guilt) - absolutely gut-wrenching look at alto clef/francis wojciechoski and why he's so fucked up. uh genuinely do read the warnings on this one because when i say graphic i am not exaggerating. all of these things are explored in detail and are genuinely triggering so.
''okay, that's enough, let's get you home'' (warnings for some dubious make-out sessions, (mentioned) suicide, implications of rape/sexual assault, and vomit) - shameless moldhouse plug sorry not sorry. HIGHLY recommend reading this and it's other parts in their entirety because it genuinely drives me up the fucking wall it is So good. i will sing moldhouses praises until my throat goes out. read moldhouse Now
''duke 'till dawn'' - bpd king!!!!! anyway i dont have a lot of thoughts on this its just really good. also i didnt know dracula was an actual scp until i read this which is kind of funny to me
''rights' birthday party'' - my house my rules you're going to read about agatha rights whether you like it or not
''sex at a frigid temperature'' - again, my house my rules. read the depressing gearsberg tale, boy.
''7 things that new level 3 researchers should know'' - i dont have any thoughts on this i just think this one has really cool formatting
''home is where i want to be'' - no greater thoughts this is just really neat i think. also kiryu labs is in it and im biased as fuck
''gentle wings flutter quietly in the dark'' - read about zyn kiryu NOW
#[ren]#HHHHOLY FUCKKK. THIS TOOK ME SO LONG. AUUHGGH AUGHGHH AUUUGUHGHGH#please. please for the love of god reblog this im begging you#i did not put in all this goddamn work listing this shit for it to go unnoticed. coughing up blood#uhh. what else do i say.#honorable mentions to glass x diogenes 4ever! ; ship in a bottle ; and major tom which i left out. rest in pussy sweet princes#also if youre gonna ask ''wheres ___?'' the answer is probably either ''i dont like that one and therefore didnt include it'' or ''i have-#-literally never heard of that what the fuck are you talking about''#scp foundation#<- so i can find this later
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While rereading mdzs I am once again shocked by how talked about the "you were the only mistake he ever made" line from Lan Xichen to Wei Wuxian is and how heated it gets some people because honestly... I don't think he actually even believes that.
Stay with me. Look at the actual line. (I Included 2 translations for comparison's sake)
Firstly, yes he is mad at Wei Wuxian in this scene. But his biggest moment of anger was actually before this. By this point he's realized that Wei Wuxian forgot what happened after nightless city (and therefore ISN'T stringing along his baby brother on purpose) so he has in fact calmed down a bit.
Secondly, notice that he starts by talking about how his uncle felt. This is not Lan Xichen making a value statement about what he thinks. When he says Lan Wangji was proper and righteous he is talking about him being a model lan, he's talking about their family and clan's perspective of Wangji. Indeed, in their eyes, Wei Wuxian is the only time Lan Wangji was ever not the textbook perfect Lan.
Thirdly, what is Lan Xichen trying to say here? What is he mad at Wei Wuxian for? It's that he doesn't know Lan Wangji is in love with him. His anger is eased by realizing Wei Wuxian doesn't remember the very blatant confessions lwj made in the cave after nightless city, or Lan Wangji fighting his own clan elders for Wei Wuxian, and so had no way of knowing the whipmarks on Lan Wangji's back were related to him. But he is still mad, he still thinks Wei Wuxian should have been able to figure it out. So what does he highlight?
The fact that the only thing Lan Wangji, perfect model-Lan righteous Lan Wangji, ever defies his clan for is Wei Wuxian.
And Wei Wuxian has seen him do this! Even if he doesn't remember this one instance. Because Lan Wangji has been doing that the whole story through. Wei Wuxian has watched Lan Wangji blatantly stand against the entire cultivation world for him, and here Lan Xichen is highlighting just how unusual that is, how much Wei Wuxian must mean to Lan Wangji that he's willing to do that. The important part of the sentence here is not "mistake" it's "only."
Lan Xichen here isn't trying to say that he disapproves of Wei Wuxian, or telling him to stay away from his brother. Remember, the thing that made him mad in the first place was Wei Wuxian saying that he and Lan Wangji slept in seperate rooms. He thought they were together! He's mad because they're not!
At no point does Lan Xichen say he individually considers Lan Wangji's feelings for Wei Wuxian a mistake. If he ever did, it's clear he accepted them regardless long ago. Mistake or not, what he wants is for his little brother to be happy.
#mdzs#mdzs meta#lan xichen#For the record even IF he really did think of wwx as a mistake I think he's owed a moment of pettiness!#he's wrong but when i see people cite it as a major reason they dislike him i'm like... everyone in this novel is a war criminal#but frankly that's not so relevant because looking at the text... he doesn't think that!#he's consistently pro wangxian the whole story through. this speech is literally the catalyst to wwx confessing his feelings to lwj!!#frankly for a shovel talk – which it basically is– this whole thing is MILD. there weren't even any death threats!#also!! it drive me up the all when people mistake the intentional xiyao wangxian parralels in this scene as a personal dig on lxc#Yes! Xiyao and wangxian are foils! everyone seeing wwx as a stain on hanguang-jun's reputation but the venerated triad as an honorable bond#only for wangxian to end up happy and lan xichen with both his sworn brothers dead... that's the themes baby!!! can't trust reputations!!#but then people get mad like 'wow how DARE he say that when HE liked jgy!' that's the point!! miss mxtx did that on purpose!#Also lan xichen is VERY aware at this point just how much jgy lied to him! It's not like he's still in his a-yao is innocent era#He is LITERALLY a hostage! He is processing all of this as we speak!#he's less 'YOU are a mistake and i wish wangji didn't love you! unlike me who has never trusted anyone i shouldn't'#and more 'my entire life is falling apart right now and my little brother is the only one in my family who might still get a happy ending-#WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS IN LOVE WITH YOU???'
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BACK from the void to present to you: Nico, who wears the most absolutely ridiculous socks ever because no one can see them.
Gods, he has so many.
Most of them are thick and warm for maximum comfort, and they go up to just under his knees with the stupidest little things and patterns on them. For summer, he has an equally impressive collection of crew socks that are still thick enough to not get easily worn out, but don't make him sweat buckets trudging under the sun.
Nico knows that he'll forever be a collector at heart but it's not like he wanted to choose socks of all things as his next prized possessions. He didn't wake up one day and decide "man, these things are pretty great, let's go amass an army's worth of SOCKS!" It just happened. He had no control over that. They just feel nice, okay. And perhaps the colour combos and sheer variety of everything makes him happy.
Is it kind of embarrassing? Yeah. Would he cease to exist if anyone found out? Holy shit, maybe. But it's not like anyone has been able to tell underneath his daily go-to of heavy jeans and combat boots, so he's been in the clear so far.
Until he gets distracted for a split second while sparring with Percy and riptide cuts a huge slash across his leg.
Nico's fast, so he's able to jump back just enough so that the sword barely catches any flesh, but his jeans unfortunately don't come out unscathed.
"Keep your head in the game, Neeks!" Percy teases with a grin. He's got an annoying glint in his eye to match and Nico just knows he's about to say something worse. "No matter who walks in."
And—shit. Nico feels his face flush scarlet despite him screaming internally at his body to not react. He pointedly does not look at the new blob of neon scrubs sitting next to Kayla in the stands. "Shut up, Jackson. Like you're any better when Annabeth so much as blinks at you."
Percy shrugs. "Hey man, at least I acknowledge it."
And—fine, he does. Nico will give him that. Jackson was peak levels of embarrassing about his girlfriend on a good day.
"I think you should go get that patched up," Percy smirks. He then makes a big show of squinting at the stands, pulling a similar face that Jason makes trying to read highway signs without his glasses. Basically, he looks really fucking stupid. "Impeccable timing, too! Whaddya know? There seems to be a free medic right there."
One day, Nico will kill him. It'll fix almost all of his problems, and gods know he'll always have too many at any given point in time. But he'll do it. Maybe Annabeth will even take pity and give him a pass.
Before Nico can even open his mouth and retort with something snarky, Percy raises his hands and hollers. "Hey, Will! The King here is in need of some dire medical attention!"
"No, I'm not!" Nico shouts when Will's eyes grow wider. "Nothing happened, I'm fine."
Percy snorts and claps him on the shoulder. "As if that's worked before. Good luck, little man. Same time tomorrow?"
And he doesn't wait for a response, just gives a one-handed salute and begins to make his way to the stands. Percy says something to Will as they pass by each other and Will's brows furrow.
One day.
"What happened?" Will asks as he jogs over. His blond curls rise and fall with every step and if you zeroed in on only them, the loose coils look like they're in zero gravity. Bouncing with an impossible grace as they get closer and closer.
Not that Nico was looking. Or that he'd even noticed at all. Man, is it getting hotter here? He should definitely drink some water soon.
"Nico?" Will waves a slow hand in front of his face. "You alright? Percy said his sword mostly caught your jeans, but you never know."
"Huh?" Nico chokes. Right, this is the dire medical attention part.
Will gives him a wobbly smile, like he's trying not to laugh but failing miserably. "Okaaay then. Can I check your leg?"
"Um, sure."
He's still so out of it that he doesn't hear his subconscious screaming at him why Will kneeling down to lift the denim is a terrible, horrible idea.
Nico feels the lithe fingers carefully cut down the fabric with scissors that have seemingly appeared from nowhere. He feels them gently peel back his jeans with a confident precision, minimizing the disturbance to the wound. He hears the faintest of gasps and he feels the other boy go completely still.
He tilts his head down to see what the issue is—surely Percy hadn't slashed him that bad—and then, like a statue, he freezes in place too.
In the most obnoxious shade of yellow possible, rows of mischievous rubber ducks beam back at both of them. He says mischievous because they've got annoying smirks and eyebrows strong enough to rival the Stoll brothers on the first of April. Which is quite a concerning amount. The smallest flecks of red from his cut take the whole "sinister menaces" thing to an unholy level.
Neither of them breathe for the next 30 seconds. Or maybe it's 30 years. Hell, if Nico knows now, his damn heart stopped working properly ages ago.
Then, either his saving grace or the final nail in his coffin, Will sucks in another shaky mouthful of air and clears his throat.
"You know," he starts, scarily neutral. Not a single waver in his voice. "I'm beginning to think Kayla's got a point."
Kayla talks a lot, running through an average 5 conversation topics in a record of 7 minutes with Nico himself, so that narrows it down by exactly nothing. "Uh, about what?"
Will doesn't reply, simply carrying on with cleaning and dressing his injury like he hadn't said anything. It drives Nico crazy, but he knows Will's priorities, so he holds his tongue. Will had drilled them into Nico's brain during his first infirmary stay; treat first, talk second.
So he waits. He lets Will dab the tiniest bit of nectar across the cut and wipe away blood. After a minute or two, his leg is wrapped neatly with a bandage, and suddenly, there's no more treating to be done.
"We're matching," Will finally says.
Nico blinks. Because—what.
"I mean, it's a slightly different shade, but eh, close enough to count."
Nico breaks out of his stupor when Will traces one of the ducks with his nail. Soft but accurate, light but impossible to ignore, like everything else he does.
"Yellow?" Nico whispers. He can't seem to muster up his voice to be louder than that.
Will looks up at him with a particular glint in his eye, and Nico's heart stops a second time.
"Mhm," he grins, dusting his knees as he stands up. He winks and it has no right to kickstart the thumping in Nico's chest. "Same wavelength."
"You're ridiculous," Nico lightly shoves at Will's shoulder and prays that his face isn't burning red.
Will just laughs and catches his hand, holding it in place. "Sure, but I'm also right."
"Are not."
"Are too."
"Are n—"
"Okay," Will interrupts, "I hate to break it to you, Neeks, but we're both wearing obnoxious shades of yellow. You've got the added bonus of sly rubber duckies, and my scrubs glow in the dark. Ergo, we're both ridiculous and both on the same wavelength."
Gods, who the hell says, "ergo". Why is Nico so enamoured with such an idiot.
"And how, exactly, does Kayla have a point here?" Nico sighs, ignoring that his hand is still on Will's shoulder and that Will is still holding it there. He'll take his silent wins as they come.
Now, Will's cheeks become a rosy red. It makes Nico want to trace a finger around his freckles to check if his skin has become warmer, too.
"Well..." He trails off. He glances down to Nico's leg again, where some of the damn ducks are peeking out behind his jeans.
With a grounding deep breath, Will shuts his eyes for a moment. When they open, he meets Nico's gaze head on, calm yet confident once more.
He's beautiful like this, like he always is.
Against his own will, Nico smiles. Will shines underneath the sun and his stupid blond curls are golden.
"She said we're soulmates. And I think she's right about that."
And Nico thinks she's right about that, too.
#everyone in the arena is watching them the whole time with bated breath like a tennis match#percy and kayla are making bets to see which of them are more sappy#kayla: LOOK at will rn he's saying something so stupid and romantic#percy: OK BUT nico is reciting poetry in his mind like no tomorrow#they have a truce for now and the stolls want in#anyways solangelo are ANNOYING AND SOFT about literally everything#will now tries to guess the main colour of nico's socks by wearing different coloured scrubs every day#feel like that says a lot about both if their fashion tastes LMAOOO#nico di angelo#will solace#solangelo#percy jackson#kayla knows what's up#kayla knowles#pjo hoo toa#percy jackon and the olympians#riordanverse#heroes of olympus#pjo#hoo#they're soulmates your honor#theyre in love your honor#your honor they're gay
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lovers or friends desire two things.
#in honor of mitch assisting on austons 50th goal last night#which could mean nothing#i tried so hard to find who made this excerpt but literally nothing wpild come up#i think its just from an old tumblr post tbh#toronto maple leafs#1634#mitch marner#auston matthews#ausmitch
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What if he's my princess 🥺
#gotham#oswald cobblepot#the penguin#HE IS MY BABYGIRL YOUR HONOR#Literally the prettiest middle aged man I've even set eyes upon#He has the energy of a 16 year old girl who's biggest issue is her crush not reciprocating#And he's an awful person!!! Which only makes him better in my eyess#He's a literal serial killer and a psychopath#He is everything to me
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It's so incredibly funny to me that by ep 12 Peem and Phum have kissed like a hundred times already and done and said the sweetest things to each other, yet they're not together yet
Phum finally confesses and Peem has the guts to play hard to get asdfghkljkkll "no I will not tell you I like you too, but I'll let you kiss me and kiss you back tenderly and lovingly, I'll be your safe place, I'll book a trip to the beach for just the two of us, and I'll even get a room with only bed so we have to sleep together" lmao they've been hitting on each other since day one, pleaseeeee
"try and win my heart", BRO YOUR HEART HAS BEEN HIS SINCE EP 5 WHO ARE YOU KIDDING
#we are the series#peemphum#i love them your honor#like it seems ridiculous that they're not together yet but in context it makes sense#its done very beautyfully and kts very realistic bc real relationship are complicated like that#but like theyre so funny to me#you could have been together since day one really#you havent been his slave for ages#youre just sticking to that stupid deal to have an excuse to see him#which you dont need since youre friends now anyway! youre both in the same bug group of friends!#you literally dont need an excuse like that to see each other lmao#theyre ridiculous and i adore them#my posts
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Something to just consider is that Armand is a collectivist. Culturally I think this makes sense, considering he would've been raised in his foundational years in that sort of culture that values collectivism over individualism. He's also had to live in several high control environments afterwards, which demanded servitude, where putting himself first would've led to trouble, up to and including death. In the Children of Darkness, for example, the very idea of seeking pleasure at all is against the commandments, and since he is forced to lead this group (under careful surveillance), he can not therefore show if he even wishes to seek pleasure, because this would disrupt the collective thought, and further, place a level of threat upon himself for disobeying the laws he's meant to be upholding. He's at threat that he can be killed for it, because that's how such laws are handled. So he necessarily can not hold an individualistic, self serving, opinion, and hope to live, and lived in that kind of envoirment for centuries. Even the TdV carries on the same sort of traditions to less strict, more secular, degrees. Seeking pleasure in TdV is rewarded, even exhaulted, but the great laws are still imposed to the level of threat which is death, and everyone is always surveilling each other on this matter. He's a collectivist, especially in situations which impose certain, or uncertain threat of violence, for going against the group, or person, as in such a situation being individualistic is perhaps the last thing you may get to ever do. Nothing personally driven, therefore, seems that worth it provided the risk.
Whether he remembers this earliest period of childhood, or not, those sorts of values (likely positive then as things like sharing, community building, reaching mutually beneficial decisions, aid, and consideration of others feelings). Ingrained into his personality, and he doesn't have the kind of amnesia where it appears his personality was fundamentally changed by it. Rather, that since it's more of a dissociative amnesia barrier protecting him from traumas, that his personality would rather be fragmented, as opposed to altered. (Meaning such values are still there, but are now also acting alongside various further alteration to what is means to be in collective. And that if such amnesiac parts ever do surface, it is only reacting as if it is re-experiencing, and in the same context to the trauma. Depending on how complex this part is it could take on further environmental inputs while in this state, developing or simply having, essentially, its own personality... but I digress).
He does things for the group, which can at times only be one person, more-so than he serves himself. Placing what serves situation and context more highly that individual personal traits and feelings. But, by thinking he has no self, he naturally falls to self justifying everything wrongful he personally does, as for the benefit of the group. It's a cognitive distortion which doesn't recognize it's own selfishness because it sees itself as being selfless regardless of actual outcome. Further, this makes it so he takes no responsibility for others actions he may have caused, or to how a situation came about because of himself, if he doesn't then apply having any self to that situation. He'll bend to opinion even if its false, and create or even take on an entire role of falsehood, if he believes it serves a mutual benefit.
He uses this as a kind of shield against the world he must fundamentally view as threatening, and imposing, with very limited spaces of safety. But doesn't impose himself in healthy ways, therefore becomes an enabler of certain toxic behaviors getting out of hand, and creating unsafe environments. Desiring such places being controlled, and predictable, environments, but not fostering what's needed for that, and certainly not in a healthy way. Rather lending to manipulating others, or using threats, or force, to make it so he's secure in this. Again, self justifying that it's for a collectivist benefit. If he does at all recognize his own selfishness it's due to how he's able to come out of his own cognitive distortions, and dissonance, and admit faults and failings. Seeing that hiding his own faults and failings from others is something selfish, and therefore that he does indeed have a self there. In doing so, developing an understanding that he acts as a self in all things, and therefore understanding the effects of his actions are actually his. (Or else falling right back into the distortions). He has to be selfish, in a way, to ever be truly selfless. If that's really his goal.
To want something for itself, as opposed to some other means. To want good, love, and safety, for itself as opposed to what it does. He has to develop a sense of his own idea of these things, in order to form a consistent and more secure identity, not founded or attached to a group or person. And further needs whatever self that is, to be embraced, by himself, and not insecure in how others would react to it. To not be afraid of this self expression and personal desire, thought, opinion, feeling, and so on. By developing his own person he'd be able to better embrace his own bad qualities, even change them. As he then feels he has such agency, and isn't just simply reacting and serving to the world around him. I think there's something in how he changes Daniel which says he is moving in sort of this direction, there's something in how it appears he's roaming around on his own right now that suggests he is on a journey of this sort. I'm not expecting greatness out of it, but I am thinking there will be progress for present day Armand in future seasons. I think he is capable of change, and is not fundamentally as he appears. (And this would align to his narrative arc in the books anyway.)
And just also like I don’t think he knows entirely where the boundaries of anything really are or should be. Between himself and others or like where right begins and wrong ends and so forth. Not a moment in his memorable life, mortal or immortal, hasn't been without the presence of vampires, and therefore conditioned more under vampiric understandings as opposed to human ones. And because he's disconsidering of self, and hasn’t exactly been modeled what these should be, he's not able to function sanely in his environment. He's not sane I think I can say. But I do think he’s someone who learns experientially, and can do that on his own, so where those must lie he’s not in total lack of awareness either.
#armand#armand character analysis#iwtv#iwtv character analysis#character analysis#interview with the vampire#this would explain why he just never sees himself as a true leader of anything but instead a follower forced to lead#and for some people they do just genuinely like submission that's just their own expression of self#but he functions in this form of reality that is actually unreality so he can't even see he's the owner of his own submission.#even if he is doing it because he genuinely likes it and feels its a part of him he views it as someone else owning him as#opposed to himself giving over to be submitted by them#He doesn't recognize how much power he actually has in any situation because he functions on an understanding he has no power of self if no#a self at all to have such power to begin with.#Its gross really because he so obviously is seeking to replicate his relationship with Marius as opposed to a healthier version of it#one which actually honors and recognizes his own person and autonomy and doesn't exact literal master slave dynamics#and by buying into his false reality you are enabling in his own distortions. But they are actually how he views the world#which you can't necessarily just flat out deny without denying his 'person'. But can of course question and challenge.
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An Omori headcanon that brings me so much joy:
After staying inside for four years straight, Sunny has trouble walking for long periods of time. Obviously, he walked around in his house, but not enough for his legs to remain strong. So when he leaves his house to hang out with Kel, his legs start hurting ten minutes or so later. He has to sit down on the sidewalk to rest. That or he leans on things to help him walk.
It subtle at first so no one notices, but eventually, Kel does and he forces Sunny to see Hero to find out what is wrong with him
#the highest honor a character can get: me projecting my leg problems onto them#I literally do this everytime I start hyperfixating on something new#“hmm which one should I give my leg problems to?”#I do it without fail#most of the time I have good reason though#it would make sense for Sunny to have trouble walking for long periods of time after staying indoors for four years#i want to write a whole fic about it but I'm lazy#omori kel#omori sunny#omori basil#omori hero#omori aubrey#omori mari#omori fandom#omori game#omori
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Why do I keep getting absolutely unhingely obsessed with stories about tragic gays? Like some of the highlights being Song of Achilles, The Locked Tomb series (still obsessed and reading it, I’m genuinely losing my sanity over it!) and most recently Spies Are Forever!
Like I keep going into them knowing it ends tragically (except for SAF, I was completely blindsided by it. WTF TCBs; representation but at what cost) and still being absolutely devastated by it! Why does this keep happening?!?
#the locked tomb#gideon the ninth#griddlehark#song of achilles#patrochilles#spies are forever#tin can bros#curtwen#an honorable mention for Hadestown which I’ve been obsessed with for years and yet I’m still destroyed every time#also literally on the verge of tears just listening to spies are forever songs#WHY DOES THIS KEEP FUCKING HAPPENING#I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THE SAD TOXIC GAYS#this is Jod’s fault somehow I just know it#my posts <3
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I just really like him tbh!
#honkai star rail#trailblazer#hes a good boy your honor........ i love him....#VERY stressed right now in my life and i feel like i keep not doing fanart and that stresses me out more?#cause i feel like people would prefer to see fanart on this blog#DESPITE the MANY times that MANY people told me hey man its your blog post what you want#its not that easy for my brain that lives off of validation and appreciation and stuff idk man#i just ............ feel like........... a weird mental obligation to posting fanart#but then im super burnt on fe stuff so i have been dabbling in other fandoms#which i feel is also a disappointment and that makes me feel bad#theres literally no point to these tags im just stressed and getting that out there#gotta go lie on my floor next to my cat bc shes struggling healthwise which im not gonna lie#is the majority of my stress right now
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Divorce Saga Domon - A Haunted Honk Prequel
Hello Internet Stranger looking up G Gundam on Tumblr dot com!
This is an idea for a fic set in an Alternate Universe involving Queer Non-Canon Relationships between the characters of the series.
If you are not looking for this content please scroll on.
If you ARE looking for this content - and you're ok with reading my and other's Headcanons for this Alternate Universe I've haphazardly spun up -
Then go ahead and feel free to:
Check The Tags Of This Post For The Pairings
and click the Read More below!
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Ended up outlining a completely different fic as a Segway for an explanation instead of making progress on the Royal Flush Haunted Honk AU's Clown Motel Fic like I wanted to but uh....
For y'all's review for the AU: A Prequel Outline - Divorce Saga Domon
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Hey real quick - I'm thinking of maybe changing the timeline to 2 years post canon as opposed to 3 years and change post canon.
The reason being: I had a thought that this scene could either be part if the fic or if it's getting to big then it could be a stand alone tie-in prequel fic as part of this AU but - like
Immediately Post Divorce Domon Needs Space and runs off. As one does. And he runs to Earth because he just wants to Get Lost for a while.
He has Argo smuggle him out to avoid detection.
Argo has Andrew help stow Domon in a storage hanger of a Neo Canadian supply ship that's returning to the US - they have trade often enough and share agricultural resources - which leads to Domon ending up in New York when he hits Earthside pavement.
He's privately worked on his English the last couple of months and after being dropped in New York with a different hairstyle, outfit, and accent he's unrecognizable.
He considers making his way west to get some solitude in the wilderness, but something about that initial plan feels off now that he's on the ground.
Chibodee is also Earthside for a special series of prize fights aimed at raising charitable appeal for the US in the eyes of Neo Americans.
Domon decides to hit up Chibodee for a fight on a day between matches hoping it'll clear his head and give him the clarity to decide on a course of action. What ends up happening is an unexpected heart to heart via blows and a breakdown.
Domon is happy for Rain and Kyoji, and he knows it's not true; but he feels like he lost a piece of himself when his relationship with Rain fell apart.
Domon's instinct is to run after that but Chibodee knows this city and Domon doesn't hide out for long before Chibodee drags him back to his place to stay and just "Chill out and breathe. You don't have to be anyone but yourself here. You can take as long as you need to find out what everything changing means for you." Friends and teammates stick together.
So Domon spends a few weeks with Chibodee sparring and hanging out in New York. Chibodee does a frankly awesome job at containing his feelings because he's focusing on Domons feelings and being a good friend first and foremost. Whatever he's feeling can wait until after Domon is done going though it.
There's a bit of a twinge in Domon's heart as he leaves that he can't really place.
After he returns to Neo Japan and gets settled back into life with his family, The Dreams start.
They're mainly set in New York. Small things first like noticing Chibodee's smile and his eyes. Then sparring sessions that begin to turn lurid.
He thought these kinds of dreams would stop after he was married.... he doesn't know what to do about this.
I just figure it gives more clarity and sense of time for the journey from Comphet Marriage Dissolution to Feelings to Confession. Idk.
But I got stuck on a bit and then had this thought and needed to get it down before I lost it and it was so long it made sense to make it its own post as opposed to several replies.
The Maize and Clown Motel will probably still be 3 years and change post canon for clarification.
@thedragonchilde @amplexadversary @youreaclownnow
#Domon Kasshu/Chibodee Crocket#Royal Flush#Chibodee Crocket/Domon Kasshu#Royal Flush Haunted Honk AU#mobile fighter g gundam#I imagine he hasn't had time for a Big Gay Crisis yet but the time is absolutely now#Kyoji absolutely helps him through this crisis because he had a normal environment and university to figure his own shit out.#Kyoji has to figure out WHY Domon is imploding and explosive and avoiding everyone a second time though.#This doesn't seem related to the Divorce but it doesn't seem immediately obvious either. 🤔#Cue Schwarz FINALLY getting a fucking break and immediately coming to stay with Rain and Kyoji at their place.#Domon was aware that they had been living together in Neo Japan briefly before Schwarz was called back to Neo Germany for questioning#Once his rank was stripped of him he was back with Kyoji for a short period before the Divorce as part of Kyoji and Dr. Kasshu's study of#DG Cells. Once they had a breakthrough - Schwarz was sent abroad with a small military group and Doctors Without Borders group to assist#With immediate infection cases on behalf of Neo Japan as part of reparations. So Domon hadn't seen him in quite some time.#Domon certainly wasn't expecting to see him in the garden when he rounded the corner of the Mikamura residence#Leaned over Kyoji who appears to have been working outside on his laptop. Fingers intertwined a hand on Kyojis jaw and locked in a kiss.#Which ends pretty much instantly as they sense Domon and break apart. It occurs to Kyoji and Schwarz that Kyoji never#Got the chance to actually tell Domon much about himself and the man he'd grown into while Domon was training in Hong Kong with Master Asia#This might be a pretty significant shock to him.#I can't decide between Domon running from his Gay Revelation or IMMEDIATELY Losing His Shit at the thought of Rain's SECOND marriage ending#And knowing for sure now the reason why his and Rain's marriage didn't work out. He really does prefer men.#Bu HOW DARE Kyoji do this to her!!! She's been through enough!!!! This will HURT her SO BADLY!!! (Projection of guiiillllttt)#Back to square 1 fir a moment like damn#And once he starts fighting Kyoji about it (Thank God the ressurection gave them the option to make Kyojis new build similar to Schwarz's)#It comes out that Rain cant go through this AGAIN and he won't let him do this to her! Her honor means something to Domon#And it should mean something to Kyoji too as HER HUSBAND#Kyoji and Schwarz catch on the Again bit and Kyoji makes it clear that Rain has known about his situation with Schwarz since they returned#That they're quite literally inseparable and that Rain married him knowing this. She's fully aware and an active participant.#Domon takes a leg sweep and doesn't quite make his recovery as Schwarz steps in#Pinning his arms and one leg in place so he can't run from Kyojis question. Kyoji grabs Domon's hair to turn his head and asks
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Cee disarms Ezra in the drop pod
Cee disarms Ezra emotionally
Cee dis-arms Ezra literally
#very honorable mention to Ezra disarming himself in the tent so she feels safe#which quite literally drives me insane#the symbolism in this movie pops off#constantly losing my mind over these two#prospect#prospect movie#prospect 2018#cee prospect#ezra prospect
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*screams into the void*
#the way he like seems to be choking back a sob of emotions before he says this#he can't bear the fact that he's causing her pain#and that there's nothing he can do to stop it#even though talking openly would help her but he can't do that#because if he does he would have to be vulnerable and if he's vulnerable aelswith might think him weak#which is something he knows she abhors (even though she hates it because of her own feelings of being seen as weak and unworthy)#and he can't bear her rejection because he loves her and if she were to reject him it would destroy him#he can be this open with uhtred because its a manipulation tactic#he's using vulnerability to get uhtred to do what he wants and thats why he can be so open in this scene. he's doing it strategically#but to be open with aelswith leaves him (in his mind) open to losing her since he's caused her so much pain throughout their marriage#and he would have to face the fact that he's done that and she might not forgive him and he can't do that#aelswith is so upset in this scene because she thinks its his final way of saying to her “you aren't worthy” when really its a tactic#to help ensure that she and their children will be safe#but they literally cannot properly communicate with each other because of all of the painful history between them#I'm going insane#I love them so much#they are everything to me#literally everything#he loves her so much#like he could not survive losing her - just the way he clings to her all throughout s3 speaks to that#I really think that because of the similarities between uhtred and aelswith uhtred's betrayal makes him start to fear that he could lose he#and he just starts to cling to her for reassurance that she'll never leave and she won't stop believing in him#ok I'm done#for now#I'm crying#your honor I love them#they mean so much to me
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i have to ask because i adore you and i want to know about your new blorbos- who are they and what are they and why are they always soaked in blood
JDHSJFHJFDDJFFSDFDF, oh man where do i start cassie.
they're from the anime/manga jujutsu kaisen, and they are:
gojo satoru. love of my fucking life. my fucking everything my boy my man, i am so so in LOVE with this man i cant even begin to tell u. he consumes my every waking thought, my life is dedicated to seeing him get fucked. (he's the guy in my header humping his all into the other's arm)
and (ryoumen) sukuna. beautiful sexy evil man.
(can u tell who's my fave)
so in this world, we have jujutsu sorcerers, who are people with special powers that they use to defeat/exorcise curses, which are basically evil spirits born of negative human emotions
gojo is the strongest jujutsu sorcerer alive. he is insanely strong, not a single person can go against him. his powers make it so that u literally physically cannot touch him. he controls "infinity" and can warp space, and he also has pretty special eyes that let him perceive things at a much deeper level than a regular person. those two things combined make him quite literally untouchable. and insanely powerful.
as for sukuna, he used to be a human who lived thousands of years ago, who used to be the strongest sorcerer of his time, and is considered to be the strongest sorcerer in history. he is the King of Curses, no one could ever defeat him, or destroy his soul, which he divided into his 20 preserved fingers so it would survive through time, even after dying.
so itadori yuuji
this lil baby boy (literally the babiest sweetest boy to exist btw) (he's actually the main character haha)
due to some stuff, he ends up eating one of sukuna's mummified fingers and sukuna reincarnates inside him. yuuji becomes a vessel for sukuna, who lives inside yuuji's mind now and sometimes takes over his body (reason why they look the same)
and now, yuuji is sentenced to be executed bc he holds the most evil sorcerer in history inside him, but gojo goes nope! wait a minute, let's not do that. and manages to convince the people in charge to postpone yuuji's execution, saying that they'll get yuuji to find and eat all of sukuna's fingers and then execute him, getting rid of sukuna all in one go.
ok so that's the context (that's actually what the anime's about haha), but as to gojo and sukuna.
THEY ARE IN LOVE
well, they're there. sdkkhfkjdkfdf
ok no, so like they do their things right. gojo is a teacher (tho we never actually see him do any teaching lmao) and sukuna lives inside yuuji and causes trouble sometimes. they don't really ever interact in the story (they literally meet and have a lil confrontation, decide to kill each other and never talk again djshjfdasdadfd) (until they actually have their Fight, more on that later)
BUT!!!!!!!! they may not interact, but they are completely tied together narratively.
as u can see, they're both the strongest from their respective times, so they have a lot of links when it comes to their characters themselves and what they are referred to in the story. specifically that, in being the strongest, they exist in a plane above everyone else, literally untouchable.
now, in the story, this position of strongest is coupled with solitude, being the strongest meaning u're alone and no one else understands you bc of this
and SO they have their fight. bc plot reasons right. this is obv what it was all gonna lead to. fight of the two strongest.
and the fight, consequently, revolves around that idea of solitude, and understanding each other.
which like. ok. yeah we saw that coming. ofc. no big deal.
EXCEPT, to make reference to their relationship and that idea of understanding each other, the term that is used is, and i kid u not, love.
there's a very specific phrase that is used multiple times between them. which is actually used originally with a character who shows romantic feelings towards sukuna.
she challenges sukuna to a fight and sukuna promises to marry her if she wins. her goal in this fight is to share in sukuna's solitude and show him love (read R→L)
but she says this to sukuna and this. this is his reaction.
SUKUNA KNOWS LOVE ALREADY
to which she gets super pissed bc that's not!!! love!!!!!!!
sukuna defeats/kills her. and u know when the next time that exact fucking phrase is used? when sukuna and gojo finally meet again and set up the date to have their Fight, where sukuna remembers her words
which tells us that.
sukuna was.
thinking about gojo when she said that.
*screams into hands*
BUT IT DOESN'T STOP THERE. this phrase is then repeated. multiple times.
1. right after gojo punches the fuck out of sukuna:
2. said in reference to gojo, when he realizes there's a chance of him losing:
3. gojo reminiscing about their fight:
so, as u can see, they were going to teach each other love. their fight is. canonically. about teaching each other love. what the FUCK.
but ENOUGH love talk (or else i'm at risk of going crazy insane)
LET'S TALK ABOUT HOW THEY'RE LOADED WITH SEXUAL TENSION
this was in their first meeting where they fought (for quite literally 10 seconds)
like... why he do dat.... .......... . ....
next day sukuna goes "hey im gonna kill u first <3" and gojo just goes "teehee omg really? *hair twirl* <3"
they also decide to have their final battle on dec 24 which is like a super romantic date in japan (explicitly said so by another character)
and their FIGHT. it is LITERALLY just them flirting and touching each other
LOOK AT THIS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i fucking lost it. i still haven't recovered. that is the hottest thing i've ever seen in my life. gojo wants that dick so fucking bad
not to mention thigh grabs and hand touchies
and the entirety of the fight is just them having fun 😭😭 they're supposed "enemies" on opposite sides and the fate of the world is at stake here, but they actually don't give a fuck about that.
they're literally smiling and having a great fucking time. this fight for them is just play. their fight is just for them to have fun as the strongest and to connect with each other. they're enemies but they don't hate each other or anything, they only search for that sense of fulfillment in each other OTL
AND ABOUT THAT, oh my GOD
sukuna wins. he defeats gojo. and at the end, this. is what sukuna says to gojo at the end of the fight:
FUCKING. I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU. SCREAAAAM THAT'S ROMANCEEEEEE.
and the soft smile? the fucking petals falling all over them? oh GOD they're trying to kill me
but that's on sukuna's side, what about for gojo? well
HE GENUINELY TRIED TO REACH SUKUNA, GAVE IT HIS ALL TO CONNECT WITH HIM. TO TEACH HIM LOVE AGFKDHSKFHFKJFHDF (BUT HE FAILED HE COULDN'T GIVE SUKUNA WHAT SUKUNA GAVE HIM 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭)
HHRRRRGJFHSJDFHDSJFSDFA KJHDKFJSFKASLDKS ADKJKFHEWRKJEKRKTRELRW
and if i start crying OTL
but alas *deep breaths*
even without all that they're just very fucking sexy. two insane powerful men going at it? come on. how could u NOT want them together. they both hold the same title of the strongest, might as fucking well fuck nasty about it.
and oh god, when i tell u gojo is a fucking brat and he's so strong and untouchable, but then sukuna is capable of putting him down which is. insanely sexy. and i need it. i need gojo obliterated. and i know sukuna won't let me down (AND HE DID NOT. HE OBLITERATED THAT MAN) can he now obliterate his holes too
agdkhfhdkhdhs, anyways.... yeah.. that is the situation.........
im just gonna end this by saying
SUKUGO MY LOVES
#f.ask#jjk#sukugo#i fr laughed so much at 'why are they always soaked in blood' sajhdkashfkjasflaf bc yeah yeah they are#and it's bc the fight's the only proper interaction they've had that was longer than a few seconds jhashdksafjk 😭😭😭#they're actually not new blorbos haha. i've had them for over three years since the anime first came out and i got obsessed#then i got into other stuff as u know. but right now my obsession has reawakened :D#but yes they're my otp yeah they're a fucking rarepair#jk tho. honestly honestly they arent a rarepair. not anymore#it just feel like it here on tumblr dfksdjfkdsj 😭😔#they used to be tho. it was so bad back then that i was literally the one who had to create the ship tag ajfhjasgfajhkahf#which like..i mean yeah. bc before it was ONLY their first meeting 10 sec confrontation and that 5 sec 'ill kill u' 'im honored'#that was IT for 3 years. their actual fight is recent#and it fucking killed me bc it was SO SO SO GAY. my starved lil heart was given so MUCH#IN CONCLUSION#i just want sukuna to fuck gojo that is all thank u for coming to my ted talk sukugo my beloveds <3#i feel like ive rambled too much hdasgdisfhkjafdkjdasds SO SORRY for making u read all that 🙈🙈🙈#i hope all this makes sense#and that it makes my posts a bit more comprehensible hahaha#giving u the biggest KISS <333333#and idk if u're interested in it but if u are then i'd def def recommend jujutsu kaisen!! it's really good its super fun!!!#full of Pain and Suffering too but like. shhh. it's super cool.
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