#which to be honest i was kind of dreading literally because of her. but i WILL see every request through if i can help it.

[aretheywlw]

ARE THEY A WOMAN WHO LOVES WOMEN?

*TL;DR she is technically not a canon lesbian, so no, this poll does not break my rules. i am, however, going to treat her as canon sapphic due to the rule of BFFR. as a result, i have taken out the usual "they're not attracted to women" options. see tags if you want more detail

[yuuuume]

househusband au headcanons

Shinji ver.

| 1 | 2 | ?

rating: safe for work

reader prons: they/them

Listen, if Shinji could have it his way, he’d still be playing the sax every night at the lounge he used to work at. Sure the pay was crap, and he wasn’t all that great of a musician, but he genuinely enjoyed his night job (because the man clearly needed a day job to get by), but things change, people fall in love, people have kids for Christ’s sake whether it’s planned or not. That’s just life for you, so welcome to Shinji Hirako’s, or should we say the new neighborhood stay-at-home dad. This happened because 1, he got married! Yeah, someone went up to that mysteriously cheap and swanky lounge one night, took a seat, had a drink or two, and said, ‘Damn, I want to marry that’. Who in their right mind would wanna do that? Aside from me and the Shinji fuckers. Not many, but hey, love is blind! So… yeah. This is his life now. Stinky diapers, a fussy firstborn, and a life full of mayhem to accommodate. Shinji absolutely doesn’t wish he was at work! Someone save him.

What he doesn’t realize is that he will come to love this more than any job in the world and that being there with his kid every step of the way is a privilege he was glad to experience for both himself and his spouse since they work very hard to keep the family fed, clothed, and housed despite working dreadful hours. Because of this, Shinji really tries to give it his all with this househusband gig, to not stress them out on their two measly days off of work on the weekends. The Hirako family is what I call the living example of surviving on each paycheck but despite that stress, they never take it out on their child nor deny them anything they may want or need. Shinji and his spouse try hard to be great parents and are successful, they just don’t know it yet. Just like any dad, though, they start at the very beginning, which is the entrance of their child into the world! Shinji was given a sweet baby girl and managed to take care of her fairly well when his spouse was on paid family leave as provided by their work. They could have taken extra time but the pay was too dangerous to live on for long without overtime hours and the family needed more to accommodate their newer, safer housing so off to work it was, and there began Shinji’s adventures with his newborn daughter.

To be honest, the new dad didn’t expect to do much since he hadn’t done so before but that reality came to a screeching halt when Shinji realized that 1. He was behind on laundry, and 2. His newborn had explosive- and I mean explosive- diarrhea. The kind that gets from the bum to the nape of her neck kind of explosive and she’s screaming her head off from the discomfort of her excrements. All is not well in the Hirako household the first week without parent 2 around to help and he’s quick to break down which is sad, not going to lie. Shinji is so overwhelmed by the lonely cries of his daughter, housework, managing expenses, and paying bills, that he kind of just breaks down that week. He feels like a terrible father, and an even worse husband once he realizes that he can’t even do what his mother and her mother had done and it was as if his daughter could understand his pain, that she finally let up on the crying upon behind held in his arms after cleaning her up. Shinji quite literally let out tears of relief at her silence and realized that all she wanted was to be held and loved by him. Pure Dad moments!

He took a lot of tips from various forums and mommy blogs, investing in regular skin-to-skin contact (despite the awkward clawing at his nips) as well as simply keeping his baby in a carrier wrap and her fussiness improves greatly! So much that Shinji can spend more time doing things he needs to, but will lie her down in the very expensive but effective baby swing as it mimics his movements well enough to keep her asleep for at least an hour while he completes more physically demanding tasks such as scrubbing the stove, mopping, etc. Now what you’re probably thinking is, Mia where’s the daily route? Or maybe, What about Dad friend!Kensei!? Well don’t worry, I’ll get to it, starting with Kensei. He and his spouse visited the Hirako’s with food in hand and young twins clad in matching outfits once the family of 3 had moved into the neighborhood as a welcome gesture. Least to say, the Hirako’s weren’t used to that as the most they’ve gotten before is a half-drunk man with pissed pants sleeping at their door. Ya gotta love the seedier parts of cities, amirite?

Those who came to visit after Shinji’s spouse returned to work were visibly surprised by his presence. He knew it wasn’t that common for men to practice this way of life but damn, he didn’t think it was that surprising when he informed a mother that his spouse was at work upon their rather concerned inquiry. The gifts of food for the new family eventually stopped as his daughter reached 1 month old, leaving him alone as not many wanted to schedule playdates or even a general hangout simply because he was a father. Kensei was the only person to extend an invite to his place as he swore the neighborhood mothers were like vultures and that he didn’t want Shinji’s daughter to be exposed to too many pathogens from the outside world all at once. Simply the teachings of a professional househusband that Shinji gladly accepted and modified to fit his parenting style much better.

Alright, so Shinji’s got one Dad™ Friend, the oh-so-trusty Kensei Muguruma at his side, but it isn’t often since the latter works at home. So what is a usual day at the Hirako Household? It starts a bit like this: A groggy Shinji rolling off the bed like he hadn’t slept all night… which is partially true. The baby has her days and nights crossed for a long while so Papa Hirako is up keeping her company for his spouse to get enough sleep for work. His first duty of the day is to get breakfast started and make sure his spouse's work clothes are set for the day. They’re very insistent that they can iron the clothes by themselves but Shinji does it anyway then moves on to perfecting a breakfast they’ve been eating almost every morning since the birth of the baby. Shinji tends to worry his spouse will get sick of it but they always comment on how much better he’s been getting, and how it tastes different every day (in a good way, of course). Kensei’s cooking tips not only benefitted Shinji, but his spouse too as the married couple would often cook meals together on the weekends to bond with each other.

Although the morning is the most tense time of the day, Shinji usually gets through unscathed with the baby slung to his chest, one hand feeding her a warmed bottle and the other feeding himself. He’d be lying if he said food never landed on the kid's head. Both he and his spouse find it funny, as it was the little things in life that made a difference in their day. With their little one back to sleep in the sling secured across Shinji’s chest, he kisses his partner farewell, waving them off before going back into the house to catch some extra sleep. He’s usually more energized after the nap and gets started on whatever needs to be done which is breakfast dishes, laundry, and any other daily cleaning. His little girl is just bordering 2 months at this time, so Shinji makes a good effort to stimulate her, jingling noisy toys, and talking about any and everything while being sure to listen for any cues that she’s had enough. She’s quite the talker just like her father, entertaining him as she attempts to form words that sound like pure gibberish. Shinji records countless videos daily just to capture her development, sending a few to his spouse to watch at work during their break since he isn’t much for showcasing his kid over social media.

At this age, Shinji’s special gal is developing well and for the most part, still on track with meeting her milestones. Everything is seemingly happy-go-lucky until he receives a call from the pediatrics office that she will need to be vaccinated. The appointment for said vaccination was for today, and since then Shinji believed he would face this with his spouse but sadly that wouldn’t be the case. The first-time father was more nervous than his baby but Kensei reassured him that everything would be fine, and to be a little more gentle as the injection site would be a little on the sensitive side. Shinji at least tried his best to stay calm but both he and his baby were left crying. Shinji only cried a bit when the doctor left the room, of course, the immense feeling of guilt was just too much for him. Regardless of their conjoined Hirako Meltdown, Shinji made everything better by getting her all swaddled up and offering a bottle of milk during the ride back home.

Should he need to go shopping, Shinji will typically do so with Kensei because they’re designated Dad Friends, and therefore must move together. Shinji gets into couponing to save a few bucks and makes an effort to clip any and everything he might find useful. He even gives Kensei coupons for the really expensive organic stuff he always buys and makes sure to give it to him on a near-weekly basis. When shopping, the father usually has the luxury of browsing through most aisles, shuffling among his many organized coupons to grab the right box of crackers. If Kensei tags along, he finds it a little more difficult as the mothers in the neighborhood tend to hover over his children when in reality they’re trying to score him. Some like to fawn over his little girl due to her chubby cheeks but nothing more ever comes after. He doesn’t mind shopping with Kensei, it simply feels as though someone is always breathing down his back and that's a very weird situation to be in, much less with his baby. The little one is almost always intrigued by the older babies she can see, giving a gummy smile. Kensei 100% thinks it's cute but won’t admit it. He cannot give those moms another thing to obsess over.

Once he gets home, Shinji tries to at least get the refrigerator items put away before settling on one of Kensei’s so-called “not complex” dinner recipes. He wouldn’t dare try grilled fish again as he once neglected to check on the food, leaving the dinner harder than concrete. They had to resort to food delivery although it hurt the couple's pocket but they made do. Shinji attempts the basic hamburger steak and surprisingly does well as this time he does not leave the kitchen for a single second, watching the meat sear in the pan and checking each steak with a meat thermometer for extra security. His spouse is usually not home until all of the last-minute cleaning for the day has been done so Shinji does well to keep the dinner he cooked nice and warm until their expected arrival. His spouse is reasonably tired by then but at least they get to eat with their husband, the baby either entertained or asleep not far. They are so grateful for Shinji and all that he does as they realize taking care of an infant solo is notoriously difficult. They thank him for the dinner, offering to co-wash the dishes before getting ready to wind down for the night. That is if their little one lets Shinji do so for long.

As Shinji’s little one gets older with time he tries to get into various hobbies that clearly don’t lean into his favor. Those include but are not limited to finger painting, as his little she-devil had a phase of painting on the floors and walls (thank goodness he got the washable kind), photography (she kept throwing the disposable camera at things she 100% should not have been throwing it at), singing (she grew a knack for screaming at the top of her lungs), and gardening. Shinji could never forget his toddler dousing the newborn plants with soap to get them clean. They ended up kicking the bucket that very week and never recovered. Needless to say, this papa has been through some shit the older his daughter has gotten. All those memories ended up in a scrapbook though, videos grew into compilations separated by year, and soon he’d be marking a 5th compilation.

She’d grown well into her striking blonde hair although it had the shape of her other parents, and her teeth were as showy as his but Shinji convinced her they were cool so she wouldn’t have to deal with self-esteem issues, and oh boy, did she have a lot to say. Shinji didn’t even have to teach her to talk either, she just up and started, then never stopped. Even though she may have her quirks, the mini Hirako acts similar to her father. She’s been aiming to nail every single one of his expressions and does so very well to the point no one questions whether or not he is her father. Despite that, she gets on well with Kensei’s twins, referring to them as her cousins and to Kensei as her uncle. Shinji’s daughter is happy that her cousins stayed back from kindergarten so she wouldn’t be lonely, and in turn, they helped their Uncle Shinji get his girl into a few hobbies before she entered school.

It was certain that Shinji did not want to let his little girl go to school, but his spouse enforced it, saying it could give him a break and that she’d have to go the following year anyway. It was tough on him as it felt like it was yesterday when she was just a swaddled newborn on the date of her arrival, so beautiful and sweet, craving nothing but the love and attention of her parents. She was still an angel that day, kissing her father on his cheek as she ran off to the school with the other kids. He promised himself he wouldn’t cry and did so to the best of his abilities as he got home. Shinji couldn’t help but slump onto the couch, staring at the framed picture of their very first family portrait. The one on his phone from this morning would soon make its way there too, having been taken outside their home, a simple photo of the family of 3 to commemorate her first day of school. Shinji was bored with nothing to do afterward, not even thinking about the possibility of having another child. It was too expensive, not to mention they wouldn’t have the space should it be a boy this time around. He’s left to sulk until noisy moving vehicles drive on by for a few days and he ends up outside checking out the new dad who gives both him and Kensei a bad vibe.

Mr. Sousuke Aizen and his little one.

do not steal or repost my works anywhere

© yuuuume

[starclancy]

Here is something right off the bat Usopp who has a crush on Reader who has already had her fair share of dealing with liars and betrayal (which she never fell for his lies anyways, except for sky Island because she saw Nami’s map of the island) but when he asked her why she felt bothered, she told him the truth but then he said that his feelings for her are true and were real. (and she didn’t even know that he had a crush on her which was completely a surprise to her) Also, Nami and Luffy were the only two who knew that Usopp had a crush on reader because they were the one who told him to go confess his feelings for her.😂

I Love writing for Usopp tysm!

~ Honest Heart ~

PAIRING: Fem!Reader/Usopp

CONTENTS: 🩷 - fluff

WORDCOUNT: 690

Request status: Open

It was a quiet evening aboard the Thousand Sunny, with most of the crew scattered about doing their usual routines. Y/N sat at the edge of the deck, gazing out at the vast expanse of the ocean. Her mind wandered as the waves crashed against the ship, bringing back memories of her past—of lies told and the trust she had lost.

Usopp had been watching her from afar for a while, his hands fidgeting nervously. His heart had been beating out of his chest ever since Luffy and Nami gave him a push—literally and figuratively.

“Just go tell her, Usopp,” Nami had said, smirking.

“Yeah!” Luffy had chimed in, grinning ear to ear. “You’ll feel better once it’s out there!”

So, here he was, heart pounding, palms sweaty, feeling like he was about to fight a Yonko rather than confess his feelings. With a deep breath, Usopp approached her.

“Hey, Y/N…” he started, his voice cracking slightly.

She turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow. “What’s up, Usopp?”

He hesitated for a moment, trying to find the right words. “You… uh, you looked kinda bothered earlier. Is… is everything okay?”

Y/N sighed, glancing back at the waves. “I was just thinking. About people. About trust.” She paused before continuing, her voice soft but firm. “I’ve dealt with my fair share of liars and betrayal. It’s hard to let go of that sometimes, you know?”

Usopp winced. It was like a dagger to the heart. He knew he had a habit of stretching the truth—a habit he relied on for his tall tales and stuff. “Y-yeah… I get that,” he said, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Not that your stories ever fooled me,” she added with a small smile. “Well, except for the Sky Island thing. But only because I saw Nami’s map.”

“Oh, come on!” Usopp exclaimed, his nervousness momentarily forgotten. “That one’s actually real!”

Her smile grew a little, but she quickly turned serious again. “Why do you ask? Is this about something specific?”

He gulped. There it was—the moment he dreaded and longed for. “Y-yeah, actually…” He fiddled with his goggles nervously before blurting out, “Look, I know I’m not the most… honest guy all the time. But there’s one thing I’ve been keeping to myself, and it’s not a lie. I swear.”

Y/N tilted her head, her curiosity piqued. “What is it?”

“I… I like you, Y/N,” he said, his voice shaking slightly. “Like… a lot. And it’s not one of my stories or anything. It’s real. It’s true.”

Her eyes widened in surprise. Of all the things she expected, this wasn’t one of them. She stared at him, processing his words. “You… like me?”

“Yeah…” He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, avoiding her gaze. “I didn’t think you’d even notice, honestly. Luffy and Nami were the ones who told me to say something. And they’re probably laughing their heads off somewhere right now.”

Y/N blinked, completely taken aback. “I… I had no idea.”

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t exactly subtle, but you’re kind of hard to impress,” he admitted with a nervous laugh. “I mean, you didn’t even fall for my best lies, so…”

Despite herself, Y/N chuckled. “You’ve got a point there.”

Usopp’s heart skipped a beat at the sound of her laughter. “So, uh… what do you think?” he asked cautiously, his voice barely above a whisper.

Y/N looked at him thoughtfully. “Well… I’ll admit, you caught me off guard. But you know what? I respect your honesty, Usopp. It means something that you told me this yourself.”

His face lit up like a beacon, and he couldn’t help but grin. “R-really?”

“Really,” she said, a small smile playing at her lips. “But don’t think this means you can get away with any more tall tales.”

“Deal!” he said, his grin growing wider. “I’ll be the most honest sharpshooter in the world if it means I have a shot with you!”

From a distance, Nami and Luffy exchanged knowing smiles, watching the scene unfold.

“Told you he could do it,” Nami said, crossing her arms.

“Yup! Usopp’s brave when he wants to be,” Luffy said with a laugh.

[thekingofthenameless]

i saw your DILFFFFFF merlin (i believe that was his name yes? long dreads, dark skin, absolute dilf?) and i want to know everything now literally everything. specifically a compilation of all your favourite quotes from him pls and thank you :)))

Thanks for the question @thecomfywriter! :D

My current description of him (in a nutshell). Black trans aroace icon. Would probably look good in anything and has endless drip in his regular outfit. A highly empathetic, dignified, mellow, and smart person who struggles with schizophrenia, psychosis (as a result of his schizophrenia), anxiety, C-PTSD, and misophonia, but is still kind because he doesn’t want others to suffer what he’s been through. Secretly the God of Magic walking among mortals. Raised a literal dragon.

He’s so cool and pretty <3

Telling you everything would take a while, and might also contain a more than few spoilers (and I'm also hosting a Q&A currently which would ruin the purpose lol), but here's my Ao3! I have nine chapters of oneshots at the moment, and more to come. :D And of course, you're free to participate in the Q&A!

Here are a few of my favorite Merlin quotes from my published oneshots (in the chronological order they take place, not in the chronological order I wrote them lol). I probably have more, both from the published writing, and from unpublished writing I actually like sitting around, but... I'll be honest; I can't be bothered to look for it at the moment lol.

“Sorry,” his savior answered, not sounding sorry at all.

“Charlemagne?” Ganieda repeated incredulously. “Oh, I’m sorry, would you rather have me name him Scorch?” Merlin shot back.

“Maybe I should have introduced you to them,” Merlin idly mused while using the potion. “But I for all I know, Ganieda would have found that even stranger… she’s my younger sister, by the way. Two years younger, in fact, even if she is an adult and married, because for some reason, I age extremely slowly. Every five years is one year of aging. I wonder if you age slowly too?” Merlin wondered, and how did Merlin keep guessing and end up being right? Maybe it was luck, and if so, then maybe things would be better than they ever were with [Charlie's] parents. He'd be lucky enough to stay, he'd be lucky enough to grow up... Merlin kept talking, obviously not knowing his thoughts. “The woman you hadn’t met is Vivian, and she and Ganieda are married. Or you’d probably say they’re mates, now that I think about it. Either way, it’s completely disgusting, as I said. Everyone keeps saying ‘Oh, you’ll be next, Merlin, and you won’t find it disgusting when you find that special someone!’ No, fuck that.” The sudden outburst of language made him want to burst out laughing, but all he could manage was a little rumble. “Seriously, I don’t understand it! ‘You’ll understand when you’re older, Merlin,’- I’m sixty-five, so I’m not sure when I’ll understand. But who knows? Maybe now that I have you, they’ll stop teasing me about it. I can hope, at least.”

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m so glad you’re all right,” he whispers even though the dragon shows no signs of waking.

“Um- yes,” Merlin replies after a moment of them all just staring at each other. Then he turns back to the dragon, murmuring, “Shh. Are you hurt?”

“I know. I know. It’s all right,” Merlin replies, pressing relieved kisses into the parts of his head not covered in blood. “I’m just glad you’re safe.”

“[Charlie’s] not a pet,” Merlin snaps immediately, eyes shining brightly even behind his glasses, and the sudden change in mood is enough to put her hands up in surrender.

Taglist: @gaylightisminetocommand, @the-arson-author-gamer, @honeyxmonkey, @danhengsbestie

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #18 – Montress Volume 3: Haven by Marjorie Liu and Sana Takeda

I have been reading one volume of this comic a month, in part as a way to force myself to take it a bit slowly and appreciate the issues and volumes as distinct arcs and works in their own right instead of archive binging, and in part because a volume of comic books being more than ~20% of my reading goal for the year feels like cheating. This has accomplished both of those goals splendidly, but it is making it increasingly hard to come up with different ways of talking about the basic premise of the story. So I’m just not going to.

The plot picks up fairly directly where the last plot dropped off – with Maika having escaped the last maratime city-state she’d found refuge in (now wanted fugitive) and settling into the next one. To secure safety for herself and her little crew of misfits (eldritch god-monster her mom bore and raised her to be a host for, adorable fox-child she treats like shit, terrible cat who betrays everyone, improbably hot noble magic assassin whose technically supposed to be murdering her), she’s conscripted by the royal engineer to assist in repairing the ancient magical shield which protected the city during the last war – which, due to her heritage and the aforementioned eldritch god, she might be the only one capable of safely accessing. That (literally) blows up in everyone’s face just about immediately, and the remainder of the arc is spent scrambling to deal.

Dramatically the volume works very well as a self-contained narrative, though a decade of marvel movies have left me kind of incapable of taking a big climax involving an apocalyptic glowing hole in the sky that seriously. Beyond that though, this is definitely a Lore volume, digging deep into the history of the Shaman Empress, her relationship with Zinn, and what the other Montrum are or want. It also, if my memory is right, marks the point where Zinn finishes transitioning from this terrible quasi-unknowable parasite ruining Maika’s life and turning her into a walking atrocity to just, like, Some Guy. They’re a little shit with an improbably amount of flattering amnesia and also murder a bunch of people but like, they’re a character now. They banter with Maika constantly, and also keep fucking up and being wrong about things. Deeply endearing tbh.

This also marks the point where The Doctor and Maika’s paternal family more broadly starts being a lot more plot-relavent which, going to be honest, I’m kind of dreading. Can’t remember any real details but my memories of the whole upcoming arc basically boil down to ‘at least Maika got that badass clockwork prosthetic out of it’.

Kippa and Ren are basically irrelevant to the actual plot this time, which is totally fine because I love them both dearly and would have happily read an entire issue of them going shopping and having a nice day in the market. Kippa, besides being adorable, does actually get some pretty meaty scenes providing the view from the gutter here though – Maika gets scooped up by a scheming vizier engineer as soon as she walks into town, and also hates people, but Kippa is absolutely the sort of person to go wandering through a sprawling refugee camp doing whatever she can to help. Which is both good worldbuilding and characterization and provides some desperately needed grounding to keep the whole story from vanishing entirely into mythic freudian psychodrama.

Speaking of preferring the social and political storytelling – I’m not sure they ever actually matter, but I do love the two bit characters who occasionally get scenes of their desperate heroic spycraft and diplomacy as they try everything they can to prevent another war breaking out. Their little bit in this volume also does a great job illuminating what a broken mess the politics of the Federation is – given the incredibly vague 1930s-East-Asia analogy underlying the story’s geopolitics, I like that the genocidal power about to plunge the world into war is riven with internal contradictions and five minutes away from a coup with the army and navy barely able to stand in the same room without gunfights breaking out).

Anyway yeah, it’s still Monstress. Still good! I probably sound like a broken record saying it at this point, but the character design remains just sublime, even for very thoroughly secondary characters. Speaking of, my favourite one has now shown up!

[jillsandwhichs]

Valenfield OneShots/AUs Collection, Chapter 12, Risky

Masterlist

Pairing: Jill Valentine & Chris Redfield

Summary: Chris and Jill have some special alone time in her office

Status of their relationship in this one shot: Dating

WC: 3.7k

Type: NSFW

Warnings: Imma be honest, I didn't write down the warnings when I did this. To guess, P in V, Dirty talk, Making out, Office sex, Semi public sex, Biting, No protection, He cums on her & more

A/n: Hi! Hope you all enjoy. Please check out my masterlist, there's a lot of stuff there. You can get to know me, you can see the rules of my blog and then you can see all of my fanfictions. You'll be able to find the previous chapters to this fic and upcoming ones. You'll also be able to find my Wattpad & AO3. Comments, reblogs & likes are appreciated. Thank you

Jill was on her laptop, typing up the final few sentences she needed for this analysis on her latest mission. If there was one thing she dreaded most about her job, it wouldn't even be the dangerous part, rather writing and typing for majority of the day. Luckily, it was getting later on in the day, considering it was around seven P.M currently, which just gave Jill more motivation to keep working so she could finally head back to her apartment.

The woman had her own personal office. It was miniscule but cozy, Jill loved the fact she got time to herself whilst working, it helped her keep a clearer headspace and you most definitely need one working this tank of a job. Her office was square shaped, just like any other stereotypical office you'd find. Her desk was all white, drawers stacked on the top of it, but leaving a decent amount of room for her extra knick knacks she needed for work.

It was overall hard to focus on her work right now, all she could think about was being able to go home. Jill is passionate about her line of work, but that doesn't mean she doesn't want a break, because she seriously does. Mental health breaks are important yet ever since she was young, she never necessarily prioritized her mental well being like she should. Her boyfriend, Chris, has definitely helped her with that though. He makes her want to be better.

"Fuck me..." Jill groaned out, rubbing her forehead, attempting to relieve the immense amount of stress she has been feeling. Jill was guilty of being a procrastinator. She would put work off and not touch it for a while, which is what causes her to have to sit through more meetings than usual, have more work to do and have to even stay back late to receive lectures from Clive, which when he's disappointed in a worker, oh, he'll most definitely make sure you know.

Overall, Jill doesn't wanna deal with that anymore, she wants to complete this course and just be done with all this work, and that starts tonight.

-

The woman had completed her analysis and was now typing up an email to Clive, letting him know of her accomplishment. Jill was inevitably getting more and more bored of typing, reading and scanning through all these documents. It was actually such a bore, but you reap what you sow, and Jill sowed his job. She literally helped form what the BSAA is today, it kind of gains her the authentic right to complain about it, or at least that's what she tells herself.

As she was finalizing the email, double checking for any spelling errors, there was a light knock at the door, before it then slowly creaked open, revealing a tall, bulk figure. Jill's eyes glanced up, capturing who was standing just before her. The door was only a couple feet in front of her desk, her office wasn't the largest. "Jeez baby, I didn't expect you to still be here." Jill exclaimed, placing her hand up on her chest as if you hold on for dear life. "Yeah, yeah, no, I wasn't going to be here this late, considering it's eight-thirty now but I wanted to see you before I left."

Chris and Jill worked together at the BSAA. While they technically aren't partners on missions, they always manage to weasel their way in to working with one another, which they both enjoy very much. "I'm glad, I was hoping I'd finish sooner but I literally now just finished my analysis... When did you do yours?" "Just about an hour ago, I've been with Jessica ever since, we went over last Mondays mission." Chris expressed, ambling to Jill's desk, twinking with her knick-knacks.

"I see... Let me just send this email and then we can talk, yeah?" Jill stated, aiming back down at her laptop and typing away. "Go ahead baby." Chris whispered, going back to fidgeting with the little stuff on her desk. Chris didn't have any at his but that's just for the best knowing he'd get distracted and mess with them twenty-four-seven.

The email she was sending wasn't too long nor too short. It was basically just her apologizing for never getting caught up and mostly focusing on hands on missions rather than the reports, analysis's and documents side of things, which is just as important. Jill just prefers the thrill of being out on a mission, it's just what she likes more. Ultimately, she sent the email, releasing a huge sigh and slumping in her chair before gandering back to Chris, smiling as she watched him fuck with her gadgets.

Soon, Chris caught onto the fact she was staring at him, it made him feel somewhat embarrassed, conveying him to convert the topic. "Are we staying at your place tonight? Or seperate? If you wanna be alone tonight, that's okay." Chris spoke, not wanting her to feel pressured. "We can stay at mine." Jill answered him, standing up after sitting down for so long felt great, her muscles stretched in all the right places.

"Yeah, sounds good." Chris spoke, putting the item down and letting his eyes advert to Jill, whom was heading towards him. "I don't know if I ever told you this but that shirt looks great on you babe." Jill complimented him. All he was wearing was a tight fit BSAA uniform shirt, it wasn't anything special. "Oh really?" Chris chuckled, watching as Jill stepped closer to him. "Yes." "Well, I'm glad you like it, but all it is, is my uniform." Chris stated, placing his hands on her lower waist, his hands resting just above her rear.

"It looks good on you though." She spoke again, her voice was awfully enticing. "You look good too, you always do." He replied. "I know." She said sarcastically, retrieving a laugh out of Chris. "Glad to see you're self aware sweetheart." Chris chortled, squeezing her hips firmly. Jill giggled and gandered her eyes up at him, their eyes locking as if the two were in a trance. "I love you." "I love you too baby." Chris whispered, moving his right hand up to her cheek and caressing it with ease.

"Did Jessica leave?" Jill asked aloud. "Yeah, why?" "Nothing, I just wanna make sure she won't come looking for you, you're mine for the rest of the night." She joked. "Yes ma'am." He replied with a tint of playfulness in his tone. Jill smiled to herself and leaned up towards his face, indicating she wanted to kiss him. Chris snorted and brought her face up to his, pressing his lips to hers and embracing the lovely feeling of their lips moving together.

Chris replaced his hands back onto her hips, turning her around and pushing her against her desk, causing it to shake for a moment, making her fidgets tip over. "Careful!" Jill laughed.

"Never." Chris teased her, going back to kissing her, the passion between the two was clear as day ; it's almost as if they were made for one another. Her hands rested on his lower stomach, his rock hard abs plundered through his shirt, which just so happened to be part of why Jill loves his uniform on him so much.

The way Jill's hands felt on his body was always beyond pleasant. Chris allowed her hands to roam wherever they pleased, he enjoyed the way she'd touch him, it was one of the best feelings in the world to him. "I love when you're like this." Chris muttered out, continuing to periodically kiss her. "I can't help myself..." Jill mumbled back, her fingers trailing as the end of his shirt, it intrigued Chris an insane amount.

Jill began to take off his shirt, it was somewhat hard though due to the tightness of it. Bit by bit, his torso was revealed to her, it honestly just aroused her even more. "You're so hot." Jill gawked, making Chris laugh. Seeing Jill vulnerable like this was rare and usually, it was only Chris who got to see her this way. He doesn't mind it though ; he loves it if anything, it's his sight to see and only his. "Says you." Chris snickered, gazing down at Jill.

After that, Jill fully removed his shirt, smirking at the sight. "Don't you think this is a little risky? We are at work honey." "I love me some adrenaline..." "Baby, seriously, what if we get caught?" Chris expressed his worry. "Babe, we won't, most people are gone and the others are either in their offices or outside, we're fine." "I'll take your word for it sweetheart." He sighed out, relaxing his nerves at her reassurance. She always knew how to calm him down in any situation.

Taking her cheek into his hand once more, he drew himself closer to her face, leaving loving kisses onto her lips, the moment felt so real and passionate, the two couldn't get enough of it, they relished in it. Chris slipped his hands down to the bottom of her shirt, lifting it above her head, revealing her dark blue bra, Chris couldn't help but get turned on further just by the sight. "You're amazing." Chris let out, latching his mouth onto her neck, leading to her releasing a soft, quiet noise, almost like a moan.

Throwing her head back slightly, Jill stood there, living for the feeling of Chris kissing and suckling on her throat. It was such an exlierating feeling, one that she's always cherished each time it happens. Her heart was pumping fast too ; the nerve wracking feeling that someone could knock on the door at any moment was flooding her mind. At the same time, it was adrenaline inducing, it felt good. "I love you." Jill whispered, tossing her head back even further. "I love you more, Jill." Chris replied, leaving hickeys all along her upper neck. "Oh you best hope those are visible by Monday..." "Let's pray hun." Chris snickered.

Releasing his threshold on her neck, Chris instantly went from that to picking her up swiftly and placing her to sit up straight on her desk, her body directly in front of him. "This is how we're gonna do it?" Jill giggled, placing her arms behind her to support her weight. "If you'd like." "Mhm." Jill mumbled in response, more than happy to take the position he put her in. "Do you have any condoms?" Chris questioned. "I don't... Can you just pull out?" Jill answered, moving her hands to be on his wrists. "I'll try." He cackled. "It'll be okay if you don't, I'll get the pill." Jill assured him, moving her hands to rest behind her again.

Luckily, Chris's pants weren't the ones he usually wears, these ones were much more casual and easier to slip off, especially since they were morely in a rush, not wanting anyone to come looking for them. He pulled down his pants, along with his underwear, revealing his erect length, Jill felt as if she could drool at the sight. "Take a picture, it'll last longer." Chris teased her. "I will." Jill said back to him, her tone sassy but in a attractive way, basically seductive.

His hands now shot to her leggings, pulling them all the way down from her waist to her feet, watched as she kicked them off from her ankles, leaving her in just her bra and panties. "Let's get these off." Chris spoke with concentration as he laughed, removing her panties haistly. "You always say that." Jill sneered. "Yeah, and? I mean it, I'm always quick to want you nude." "Of course." Jill giggled, gazing up at him.

Positioning himself right in front of her, Chris heaved as he stared at her gorgeous body, a warm pit was forming in his lower abdomen and his member only felt as though it was forming to become even harder - if that was even possible. "I'll never get enough of you." Chris admitted to her, taking in the view of her perfection. "Good." Jill whispered with a lustful voice. He snorted and grabbed his length, jerking it once or twice before aligning himself with her core. "Make sure you stay quiet baby." Chris ordered, wanting to be safe, no one needs to here what he's about to do to her.

Slowly but surely, Chris pushed himself inside of her, gasping to himself as he felt her immediately contract around him. It just went to show how much she had longed for him. "Fuck." Jill vocalized, biting her lip tightly, wanting to restraint herself from making any noise. "Shhh baby, be quiet for me." Chris demanded lovingly, moving his arms behind her and holding onto the desk. "I'm trying Chris." Jill pleaded, bundling her arms around his neck, holding onto him as he began to pump himself in and out of her.

As he pulled all the way out, Chris pushed back into her, going as deep as he could in this position. It felt so good, he was even trying to remain silent, Jill wasn't wrong, it's hard. His ass flexed as he pumped into her, making sure she felt him deep inside of her walls. "Oh my God..." Jill moaned out, once again throwing her head back, reveling in the intense feeling he was causing her to feel deep inside. "How are you so good at this..." Jill tittered, trying to maintain a soft tone, not to alert anyone in the HQ still. "It's all you baby." Chris responded, keeping the same decent pace.

Chris picked up the pace after a minute or so, he didn't immediately, allowing Jill to adjust to him inside of her. "Baby..." Jill whispered out, her head bouncing slightly from the movements of the desk, which she was still sat on. "Keep taking it." Chris muttered out, watching his length slip in and out of her, it was quite the sight to see and oddly enough, it turned him on even more. Jill's left arm was hanging off of one of his shoulders, her right hand resting on the table for stability.

Exhaling roughly, Chris began to slam into her at this rate, their skin slapping, Jill's moans and Chris's grunts were about the only sounds that could be heard within the room, sounds of a couple making intense love to each other, which the two loved to do together. "You're tight." Chris groaned out, tilting his head back and squinting his eyes, his mouth agap. He could feel his member twitching inside of her, her wetness coated his entire length, it was a sight he hungered for.

Tilting his head back to face her, Chris grunted as he pulled her closer to him, causing Jill to shriek at the sudden action. Their fronts were now pressed together, her breasts tucked into her bra were pressed up against his chest. "Surprised you haven't taken off my bra yet..." Jill soughed out, somehow being able to form words. Without saying anything back, Chris took his hand from behind the desk and to her back, unclipping her bra and groaning as he watched it fall off of her chest. "How about that?" Chris chuckled, taking his hand to her boob and fondling it, it felt so soft in his hand.

Jill gasped as Chris pounded even harder into her, the entire desk was now shaking and Jill actually feared it'd collapse beneath her. "Baby, baby, actually slow down, I can't have my desk breaking." "Heh, sorry hun." Chris laughed, slowing down somewhat but still keeping a pace that made them both weak in the best way possible. "Oh it feels really good..." Jill moaned out, her eyes locking with his. Her body felt as though it was floating as Chris stared back at her, he knew how to make her feel shy, even during special moments like these.

Ending the eye contact, Jill encased her arms around his torso, her nails digging into his back as he continued to move into her, sounds of pleasure emitting from both of them. Jill pressed her face into his shoulder, kissing it and biting down on it ever so gently, causing him to grunt at the pain, but it also felt great to him. "Fuck baby..." Chris groaned, his hands squeezing her waist as he thrusted into her unrelentlessly. "Oh..." Jill whimpered out, her voice cracking as she did so.

"You feel amazing." Chris expressed to her, admiring every aspect of her. Jill looked up at Chris, their faces inches apart. Chris smirked and kissed her, breathing in deeply as he did. Jill slipped her tongue alongside his upper lip, wanting entry into his mouth. He opened his mouth a bit, slipping his tongue to move with hers, their salvia mixing together. Their kisses were filled with complete love and care for each other - it was visible, just through their touches.

"You close?" Chris questioned, his mouth now near her ear. "Yes... Don't stop handsome." Jill pleaded, her hands resting on his back, her body shaking with ecstasy. "You're so beautiful, you know that? I love you Jill." Chris muttered out, pulling away from her, still pulling out and inside of her. "I love you so much." Jill said, her hands trailing up to his broad shoulders now, holding onto them firmly.

There was that familiar deep pit forming within Jill's stomach, she could even feel herself pulsing at the feeling of Chris railing her. "C'mon baby..." Chris grunted out, going extra fast now, wanting to finish himself and her off. Chris gripped her hips in his hands, pulling her into him as he pushed into her, making the experience feel even better and more pleasing. "Oh fuck..." Jill whined out, biting her lip to the point it turned into a faded white color, she was trying her best to keep herself quiet.

"That's it baby, you're okay." Chris spoke, he was talking her through it, he knows Jill likes it a lot whenever he does. He won't even lie, he likes when Jill does it to him too, but that's morely a rare occasion. Chris was absolutely enamored with the way Jill felt around him. She was perfect, every part of her, physically and mentally, she was just herself and Chris loved that so much about her. He basically idolized her, worshipped her. He cherished every bit of her well being.

The grip on her waist was still strong as ever, but he began to do deep, long, hard thrusts into her, indicating he was extremely close to finishing. "Just like that..." Jill expired out, her walls clenching around his member. Jill felt like she was going to explode at any given moment, she felt so alive, but that was also due to the fact they were fucking in her office at their literal workplace. "I'm about to finish baby..." Jill said aloud, her nails digging into her shoulder as if she was holding onto him for dear life.

When Chris heard her speak those words, he grabbed her chin, forcing her into look up at him and into his eyes. There was something about just her pretty face that could get him off ; he knew he'd finish alongside her if he just looked at her. She was ethereal. After he thrusted into her a few more times, she finally hit her peak, her back arched and her mouth opened wide, small vocal noises came out as she finished, her body was shaking too, it felt all too surreal.

Chris studied Jill's face as she finished, watching as she released her final moans and as her back arched from the immense pleasure he was giving to her. "My God..." Chris groaned out, pumping himself into her once more before instantly pulling out and releasing his cum all over her lower stomach, the warm liquid seeped down her body for a moment, there was a lot, Chris couldn't help but snicker at the sight.

"Jesus, that was good." Chris denoted, chuckling to himself. "Yeah, yeah it was." Jill sighed, breathing heavily as she stared down at her stomach, looking at his seed resting on it. "Grab me a rag baby, there are some in the cabinet over there..." Jill pointed over to the left side of her office, a few cabinets were lined up beside each other. "Okay sweetheart." Chris stated, walking over and opening one of the metal drawers, grabbing an old looking rag and treading back over to her, she was still looking adorable as she was sat on her work desk.

Taking the rag to her lower waistline, Chris began to wipe away his cum, not wanting to leave it on her. Chris felt so calm all of the sudden, as if their love making made it feel as though all of his problems were swept away into oblivion. He couldn't even describe the feeling - all he knew was that he was happy to be here, with Jill. "All better." Chris mumbled out, folding the rag and tossing it back over to the cabinets. "Thank you." "Of course babe."

"We should probably get dressed and head to my apartment." "Yeah, I agree, I'm exhausted now." Chris exclaimed, snorting to himself. "All guys are after sex." Jill teased, grabbing ahold of her clothing and putting it back on, along with Chris doing the same. It was moments like these that were so near and dear to them ; it's hard to live a romantic life whilst living your life to fight bioterrorism. Nonetheless, the two were just happy to get any amount of time together.

"I'll leave my car here overnight, let's just take your truck, okay?" Jill spoke, her tone timid. "Fine by me." Chris uttered out, adjusting his shirt to his form. The two tried their best to make it look as though they didn't just have some of the best sex of their life. "Let's go and act normal, yeah?" Jill giggled. "I'll try baby." Chris snickered, kissing her head before opening her office door, the two of them walking out and making their way to Chris's truck so they could finally go home.

[kickthecan-revolution]

I tried another edible last night and while I slept through the night, I wasn’t refreshed, I think it does disrupt the sleep cycles I need most right now so I’m going to stop. I made some pasta for breakfast and then fell back asleep until 9:30am. Watered all my plants and am just kind of in a daze, per usual. I had bad stomach issues that almost made me throw up while literally dealing with things in the other direction, and that sent me into a dark dark place. It's been a dark couple of days. I keep trying to feel normal, be normal and I feel that way in the mornings until I don't.

I had my therapy appointment scheduled tonight which I was dreading, I've definitely been in avoidant mode with people. And 10 minutes before, I found out a code in Seattle will prevent me from Airbnbing the duplex which made me freak out, it happened because my sister was talking to the manager of the building next door who hasn't fixed his rusted out railing that is leaning into my property and she went to ask him about it. She mentioned we were going to Airbnb it and he said "that is illegal on the water". So I freaked out and made her feel like shit in the process, right before this therapy appointment.

I logged on and immediately burst into tears, telling him it's hard for me to be with people when I am in a bad emotional place. So he kind of gently started therapizing me which was annoying but I just went with it because that's what we're doing. He asked me what I do with my time and I told him "nothing. I watch the clock until the time passes and I can say another day is gone, done, in my rear view mirror and I am that much closer to this being done. I am waiting for time to pass. I watch it pass. That's all I do."

All of the sudden I quietly said "I am just so fucking mad. I am so pissed this is happening to me. I am so angry."

I've told a therapist I was sad/depressed/scared/in despair before - but never angry. I never show that, ever. Ever. For some reason I did and he said "something in your face just came to life when you said that. What's happening in your body?" and he was right. I felt this....life, just course through me. Like I was awake for the first time in a week. So there's something here. I kept thinking of Richard Gere's character in Pretty Woman saying "I went to therapy for 10 years just so I can say 'I am angry at my father'" - that stuck with me.

But I am mad. I am so mad at so many things. I'm mad I have cancer, it fucking sucks. I'm furious. Being mad at my parents for being terrible human beings was never an option, it's like being mad at the strung out fentanyl addict on the street. They aren't there. That's what it always felt like. But if I were honest, that's what I tell myself - my mom was as fragile as she was because she didn't love us enough to get help. She was too prideful. Too scared. And she prioritized both of those things over a course of action that would have made her a better parent. I get to be pissed at that.

I hung up and felt so much better, called my sister and apologized and I'm so glad I did because she was beating herself up badly. We'll figure it out that place will rent to traveling nurses in 5 minutes. It will be great.

[jolalibrary]

I have to ask (only if you're willing to talk about it), how do you cope with hate...? I got the feeling from your last answer and tags that this was not the first time. Do you have any tips on how to self-regulate? How do you stay so kind-hearted & compassionate?

The reason why i'm asking is that I'm relatively new here and dread the day I receive hate mail.

Much love to you, I adore the way you write and lift others❣️

- Fellow cancerian who doesn't want to grow too hard a shell

hello fellow 🦀 thank you for the compliment on my writing and lifting others (honestly, I just feel too much and I have to thrust it on people haha)

and honestly I don’t mind answering, I don’t really have like a hard and fast answer so I apologise for the ramble under the cut:

it depends on what is said. which I know is wildly unhelpful, but it’s the truth. the one today was like…. silly? to me anyway. it wasn’t necessary, it was just—oh let’s kick someone. and like, I’m not just saying this, but I laughed and I honestly was like, jesus you feeling okay anon, like damn.

but, I’m nothing but honest (where I can be) and there have been some that have fucking hurt. like I’ve cried my eyes out—which is a lot for saying this is fun, and a hobby.

in my corner though, I have great people. one of my friends is like my rock, and she allows me to send her the more crazy ones. and we sorta have this process of talking about it first before I make a decision about deleting/responding. for me, it helps drafting my feelings or talking them out, just so I can get rid of that ‘initial’ reaction. because sometimes I just wanna shout and tear someone a new one, but that means letting them get a rise outta me? y’know.

so once I’ve done that, we normally fall on the deleting side, because it’s important to me to create a space that I feel safe in, that I’m proud of, and that others know they can come into and also feel okay. you having a bad day and seeing that I’ve been kicked down isn’t going to do anything except us both feel poopy. so unless I can be sassy, let it roll off my back, I try now not to respond.

to return back to chirpy, annoyingly nice Jo 😏 I spend time with people i love: fandom, irl and who I live with. I may go on a walk with my dog. I may put my headphones on and blast music (celine dion power ballads hit different), and lastly, I’ll churn it into something writing wise.

writing is what helps me regulate all of my emotions. I feel so much, always have done, always will. but writing helps.

unfortunately, there’s always a chance I’ll get hate. because like irl, we don’t gel with everyone. which is why I wish people would just unfollow, block and move on, but i can't control that nor can i guarantee the former will happen. so I just try to create a space I’m happy to be in, like this overtly pink blog with all you lovely lot who follow me as I throw you in fandom after fandom.

lastly, my friend said this earlier and I’m going to quote her (she’s going to love this) “you literally get what you see with you” and she’s right. it’s not me staying so kind and compassionate, that’s just who I am (which sounds big headed, like omg I’m amazing) but I just care. and on the days where being “me” feels hard, that’s when I stay off here. because it means I need some me time to get back to a good place.

I am not sure if this was helpful, 🦀 anon (this is what I’m calling you, hope that’s okay). but my dm is always open, and so is my inbox.

pls try not to let fear stop you from sharing with the world, don’t give the prospective haters any chance to steal your shine 🩷

[linesonscreens]

Let's Read Peanuts (Yes, all of it) - December 1952

There are lots of great strips I just don't have room to comment on. I strongly encourage everybody to read the full month at the official GoComics page. Today's month starts HERE.

Dec 6, 1952

Heh.

Dec 8, 1952

Honestly it's not a bad look.

Dec 9, 1952

Did that just make him cry?

Dec 11, 1952

Gah! Please never do that again!

Dec 19, 1952

No no no! If you just outright lie then of course he will brush you off without a second thought. You've got to start with something somewhat true and then slowly work in the bullshit over time. Maybe throw in a death threat and a passive aggressive snipe at his sexuality to twist the knife a little.

God, it's like you four year olds from 1952 have never even been on social media.

Dec 21, 1952

I mean, it's more than I've gotten this year.

Dec 23, 1952

One of many things that I think sets Peanuts apart from other strips is how well Schulz depicts depression (probably because he almost certainly suffered from it). You might think depression is just a sad feeling similar to grief but it's actually more of an irrational pessimism coupled with a persistent sense dread. Your brain doesn't exactly lie to you but instead tells you the most negative version of the truth possible which can lead you to some very irrational conclusions. You feel fine, it's the ~world~ that's broken (and keeps giving you these useless pennies).

Er, not that I know anything about all that.

Anyways, Schulz perfectly captures this in a way that's honest and sincere but also entertaining and kid-friendly. Which is pretty damn impressive when you think about it.

Thoughts:

End of the year character design recap time!

Again, not doing every character every year for my own sanity since the cast will be getting very large. CB and Snoopy will be constants but the rest will get rotated in/out:

Charlie Brown

October 1950

December 1950

December 1951

December 1952

Snoopy

October 1950

December 1950

December 1951

December 1952

Lucy

March 1952

December 1952

(why can't I make this one picture smaller? Am I doing something wrong?)

Linus

September 1952

December 1952

Schroeder

May 1951

December 1951

December 1952

The main thing I'm noticing is that everybody looks twice as old as they did last year while the expression work is getting a bit more complex and nuanced. Charlie Brown's head is literally half the size it was in 1950, Schroeder has aged up into an actual character and has shed a lot of his UPA stylization, Snoopy's face is becoming a bit more blocky and angular, and Lucy's eyes no longer make her look like some kind of cursed doll. Big improvements all around I think.

Linus... got a shirt. Look it's only been 3 months what do you want from me?

There's also a lot more detail in the backgrounds now which is creating a wonderful sense of these characters existing in an actual environment. Schulz is also surprisingly good at drawing plants and nature which adds a nice organic softness to his world. It's all actually making me kind of annoyed at the animated adaptations because they always go for something loose and minimalistic for their backgrounds and I think they would have really benefited form the contrast something more solid and detailed would have provided.

Finally his paneling and compositions are god tier. I mean, god damn.

Anyways that's it for 1952, I hope you all enjoyed it. Next up: 1953!

[bakurapika]

My boss has been awesome but I got in trouble for overlooking something several weeks ago that, real talk, I think is probably heavily due to how I've had some big memory issues lately which I think is related to my lack of med management. But I'm sure as hell not gonna say that for multiple reasons (1 of which being, I think she has similar issues herself and would think it's BS, and 2, if she DID believe me then she'd question my ability to do my job to a point where it'd be worse than believing I was intentionally a little negligent).

And right after that, I was late for a meeting because of 1) those same memory issues, and 2) some tech issues. Where it looked like I was being intentionally negligent again.

And I'd just recently asked if she would still be a good reference for me if I had to get another job becuase of financial issues she was already fully aware of (and she's been the kind of person who I trusted to be supportive with this information despite being a boss), so it's been pretty transparent that she thinks I'm slacking off on purpose.

I thought that all got settled but now she's been interpreting normal situations that would usually be like "oh yeah, we'll clean this up no problem" or even not have any identified issue at all, where it would just require a little paperwork on my end to fix - and seems to just be looking for evidence that I don't take my job seriously. I'm really on edge whenever she talks to me now, because this situation has played out before at the same job with a really bad boss, and things got reeeeally shitty right afterward.

I feel inclined to be like "lol! it's just my anxiety! i'm projecting!" but I genuinely don't think I am, and so far my instincts have been pretty spot on about this kind of thing.

And it fully sucks because she became my boss specifically to get me out of that situation of a sucky boss who interprets everything I do in the worst faith possible.

But anyway, so I've been having breakdowns at work whatever. But everyone gets a day off on the day of the week we normally have a private boss-employee meeting. I was really relieved about that. But literally last minute of today, she rescheduled it to be at the end of the day tomorrow, right before the long weekend, and it's gonna suck and I'm not sure if it's better to dread it all day or to have "gotten it over with" and have a sucky conversation that made the entire day awful again. Not that I have a choice.

So basically I need to go into this conversation and lie like a rug. Because being honest and taking accountability for my actions has gotten me treated with suspicion because she thought I was lying and admitting to anything that's "off" before it becomes a problem for other people (though it may not have been pointed out as an issue I caused - or a problem at all - if I let it lie) has itself become a chance to evaluate what I've done as laziness or doing bad work. Even if the actual thing being discussed took place ages before I was applying for other jobs.

Hence lying like a rug. I just need to be polite and accept any blame she gives me without taking it personally or letting it affect my actions (since yesterday at work, I got next to nothing done because I was crying all day, compared to today, where I decided Fuck It and chilled most of the day and was able to focus on my work like a normal person afterwards, without needing to text anyone for my own safety or anything at all). And basically I need to roleplay someone who's not emotionally invested in my job at all but is distantly professional.

But I'm really shitty at lying in that kind of situation so it'll probably take about 45 seconds to break me, and I'll wind up being like "I WAS SOBBING IN THE OFFICE ON WEDNESDAY BECAUSE OF AN OFFHAND REMARK YOU MADE" which would be taken as utter manipulative, lying horseshit. And it's a half hour meeting and she's definitely gonna confront me about stuff that, real talk? Was at least as much her fault as mine, if they're even situations that you feel like you need to identify anyone being at fault in at all - and again if I even hint at that being the truth, I'm f u c k e d.

God someone please like this post to tell me I'm not alone even if you just skimmed it because I'm struggling. Maybe send me a message about the worksona I need to develop and how I should be able to keep it together for like 2 full minutes.

Like if she hates me at a personal level now, she won't want to talk for long either, right??

[tenrose]

I may or may not have bought a ps5 for black Friday...

You might think this is a useless buy, and it is. But get this, I have a gaming pc but it's not very strong. Also I don't like playing on it. Mainly because I work on computer screen all day and it hurt my eyes (not sure a TV screen is better but I can see from a bit more afar) Also I absolutely do not know how to play on keyboard so I already play with a gamepad but it's an Action gamepad and it keeps disconnecting it's annoying. Also I don't play a lot but the games I'm more interested into playing are way too big for my pc anyway (Baldur's gate here I come, also wanna try Elden Ring but I feel like with my disaster level of gaming this might be suicide lmao). Also I want the physical copies of games, it feels wrong not having them physical, and I have brand new empty shelves waiting for other stuff than books. Speaking of physical I haven't owned a disc reader in ages, so I will finally be able to own the 4k version of LOTR (and if I'm being honest I'm more excited about spending my new year's eve watching LOTR than anything else), not sure the ps5 does read music CDs though... But if it does it might convince me to also buy new CDs we'll see. But yeah, I'm not a movie watcher mainly cause I don't have the means anymore (meaning I don't pay platforms) but there's some movies I want to buy, so who cares if I watch the same movies 150 times anyway (do I really need anything else but lotr to be happy? Obviously not). Speaking of tv, at first this whole project was kinda blurry cause I need a brand new TV first, because mine is old so no point in having 4k stuff with it. And at first this was what I was supposed to buy for black Friday and my aunt's husband told me he'd check what kind of TV would be good for me, but long story short story they bought me a TV as my Christmas/birthday gift (cause I never gave my bank account number for my birthday) so my aunt said it's for both. I was like 'you did what????' lmao. The only 'annoying' thing is that I bought Dragon Age on Steam but my pc is literally dying, basically I have like 10go left with the game installed so it's an absolute mess, I had to lower quality and shit and between work, migraines and sickness I've played six hours... So I'm gonna buy it again and I'm not very proud for that. To not feel like I've spent stupidly 60€ twice I'm gonna use the gift card from our Union which is conveniently 60€. But yeah stupid move if I had been patient.... But anyway.

So yeah it's kinda 500€ for something that is absolutely necessary. BUT I have solid arguments. Basically it is the gift for me finally being able to put on with my house chores. I mean it's not perfect yet, I still have the dreadful administrative paper to tidy but yes my apartment is now in an acceptable state and truth to be told this wasn't an easy task for me and maintaining it keeps being harder but the experts were right, setting up a routine help and it is easier to clean a little bit every day. Also I finally have my massive bookshelves I'm so in love with them. And basically the apartment being better makes me wanna do stuff and make it prettier. Btw I also feel the desire to buy a bigger plant, I think I'm ready to take this risk. And most importantly I now feel, safe enough to invite my parents properly to eat. And that is something I've never felt confident before to do. Because of the cleaning and also because of the cooking. And that's a huge thing for me, cause believe it or not in like 15 years I've been away I've never invited them to dinner, they like sometimes visited me when they were nearby but every time I had meetings with my mom I'd invite her to the restaurant instead of home to avoid stressful situations. Mind you this is my mom we're talking about so it's gonna be stressful anyway and not right enough for her, but if I know it is right enough for me that's ok. Needless to say I've never talk to her about this house chores struggle, I've been dealing with it with my aunt without who all of this wouldn't be possible and honestly I don't even know how the fuck I am supposed to thank her for everything she did to me since I've been a teen. She's the first one I came out to, she visited me when I was hospitalised for my mental health, she and my grandma made sure I had money to eat when I was a student and she's the only person I can only discuss with my undiagnosed whatever is wrong with my dysfunctional brain, my mental health struggle without her being like 'well do it', like for example she did scold me for the cleaning but like not a useless scold where I feel even more worse than I already felt before, she explains to me tricks and stuff so yes it's what I'm the most thankful to her for.

And now that this thing is altogether under my capacities, I feel like I can focus on something new next year. I have plan but this involves confronting my biggest fear and some of you might guess what I'm talking about. Like it's not a thing I desperately crave to do but it would make my life easier and also it's like the only thing I don't have that stop from being 100% independent of anyone... But yeah I'm scared. And it might come handy for my next next project which is getting the hell out of the infernal place that is my job (but unfortunately that thing doesn't depend 100% on me unlike some would want us to think, like the job market is utter shit everywhere) but anyway

So yes all in all I think I am allowed to recklessly buy a ps5 as a gift to myself.

And I don't know why the hell I wrote a whole damn essay to convince everyone but really just myself that it is ok and that I shouldn't feel guilty about it.

And why the hell am I justifying myself for spending my own money earned with my depression driving job???

[lorillee]

SO. LETS TALK KIWAMI 2

definitely my least favorite entry so far but ive only played 0 and k1&2 so remains to be seen if this will change.

like ok to be honest the actual biggest issue i have here is the romance subplot. but we'll get into it in a minute.

actually let me just take this opportunity to talk about my thoughts and feelings on sayama

as a character i lean on the positive side of neutral - im not like crazy about her but i do like her. honestly the biggest issue is that her involvement in the story is largely overshadowed by the dreadful looming romantic subplot she has going on with kiryu which automatically pisses me off so its kind of a struggle . but this is neither here nor there. well it is actually kind of here but whatever

^so like again its really on the writing of the story and her portrayal as opposed to her as a character. an additional complaint i have with this is a pretty classic attempt at feminism blunder where the story is trying to tell you that this female character is super hashtag epic and badass because she climbed her way through the male dominated ranks and has all these accomplishments yada yada yada But when it actually comes time to do anything on screen shes basiaclly always getting slapped around and kiryu has to descend from heaven to act as her savior and bodyguard and its like ok sorry but this is stupid. Cant she do her job on her own

like the story wants to say theyre on some sort of an equal footing but in actuality this is not super well supported by Well the events taking place on screen. like people tell her that its not her place to be in the police or be involved in yakuza affairs because shes a woman and then theyre justified for it and its kind of unclear to me whether this is what the story wants to say or if its what the story is accidentally saying. but it annoys me

ok well since we're on the topic of things that irritated me about the handling of sayama Lets Talk About Romance.

THE ROMANCE PLOT WAS STUPID? AND IT SUCKED?

but seriously it was just bad. like i know i made that post but it literally did not add anything to the story. there was literally not a single thing gained or improved or actaully important that happened as a result of this stupid romance plot. like its like whoever was in charge of this script was like Wait this cop lady..... Well....... Shes a lady................. And you know what that means 😏 . or something equally idiotic.

and so it kind of really annoys me that half of sayama's plot gets co-opted by the setup and deeply poor execution of this dumb romance that only goes to take the focus away from the actually compelling and interesting part of her character. like what was the point of this genuinely speaking. AND THEY DONT EVEN HAVE CHEMISTRY?????????

like there is legitimately not a single thing on planet earth that even begins to interest or compel me about kiryu and sayama as a couple, and frankly not all that much as a purely platonic duo. WHO GAFFFFFFFF

but whatever. actually it honestly makes me annoyed that we spent so much time attempting to develop this relationship and how insanely uncompelled i am by it like we got probably 4 or 5 minutes of interaction between ryuji and sayama and that was 100000000% more interesting than anything kiryu and sayama could possibly even hope to bring to the table after interacting for the vast majority of this game.

WHATEVER! anyways i didnt actually gaf about ryuji until like those 4 or 5 minutes he spent interacting with sayama but i have to say i am kind of invested now. COULDNT WE HAVE SPENT ALL THAT TIME ON DEVELOPING MISERY SIBLINGS INSTEAD???? TCH!

ok whatever. anwyays going back to the usual complaints wrt romance its insane how romantic relationships are aaaaaaalways placed in importance above all else like the scene at the end where theyre like "LOLLLLL guess we kind of screwed haruka over" when they think theyre gonna be blown up by the bomb PISSED ME OFF SO BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD LIKE WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. I HATE EVERYTHING!??!?!?!?!?????????????????!?!?! Like she literally doesnt have anything or anybody else in this world and ur telling me u were ready to get blown up by a bomb so u could sit there and make out with this lady you met like 3 days ago 😑 <- techinically he was like dying on the floor anyways but like the fact they were so flippant about it pisses me off bad like I HATE ROMANCEEEEEE

WHATEVERRRRRR WHATEVER WHATEVER.

anyways love the continued exploration of kazama's deeply checkered moral compass. who knows whats going on there and i hope it stays that way

i hope majima construction finished kamurocho hills. but u also KNOWWWWWWW they broke every single regulation in the books and the entire thing has to get pulled down like a week after its completed

majima was actually so good this game im crazy about him always and forever.

i mean you already know this if you scrolled my blog while i was posting but the majima side story made me want to start throwing bricks at people and blowing up buildings really really really insanely good "so it's our little secret, okay?" <- GOING TO HAUNT ME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. CAN I KILL EVERYONE NOW I CANT DO THIS ANYMOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

if i think too hard abt 24 hr cinderalla im gonna do something diabolical.

ok lets get back on track ummmmmmmm honsetly overall plot (MINUS ROMANCE) was fine but the antagonist rug pulling was kind of needlessly extra like nobody gaf about that other guy whos name i dont even remember. WHO CARE? that being said it was also REALLY FUNNY so ill forgive it

anyways i think that about concludes my thoughts on this game but if i have more i will be sure to share

[whumpcloud]

I just read your “Not Dangerous” snippet and I love your characters! (especially vincent because vampire whumper turned whumpee hee hoo) I am giving you free reign to talk about Vincent’s lore / backstory / anything you want, really

HI YES I LOVE HIM TOO HE'S SO <33 vincent is so interesting there's a lot to him.

like. okay lore time you gave me an opportunity. vincent as an english university student in the 1820s met a vampire named ambrose lyfelde during a trip to france. vincent had never quite found his place and felt deeply isolated and lyfelde wasn't. 100% honest about what becoming a vampire would do to him. vincent was promised power and community but really all lyfelde wanted was to have someone to fuck with and vincent seemed like the perfect doormat. he was around twenty-two when he was turned.

eventually vincent returned to england alone and kind of disappeared. everyone who knew him assumed he'd died in france. vincent tried to seek out the vampire community and found it, but was forced to assimilate to the cruelty and convinced himself that he was better than humans so that he didn't have to think about what a mistake he'd made.

the dread and depression caught up to him though and while taking a walk one evening he just sort of broke down. clary happened to pass by and asked if he was alright and if she could help and he kind of just. kidnapped her on a whim because she was nice to him. more than anything he wanted company. she didn't make for great company. she literally just bullied him all the time. so he resorted to violence and tried to make her need him the way he needed her.

eventually clary got out and it's complicated and i don't wanna get into it yet. but vincent kind of lost it and became much more risky which got him captured by a group of vampire hunters and they basically just tortured him for fun. they weren't even the ones who convinced him he was such a worthless monster. he mostly did it to himself. after everything he'd done, what else could he really be?

okay i'm normal now (lie)

[nitewrighter]

Hi! I'm very new to the overwatch Fandom and am currently obsessing over your fan kids (specifically Seye bc I don't see a lot of doom content and I love him) ANYWAY, doomfist does die, right? If so, who is it that kills him, and how do Seye and his mother react? I did read the post about Seye eventually destroying the doomfist with some help, but am super curious about some of what happens in between and after :>

Wow! Asks that make me dig through my ancient 'Marsey' tag.

To be honest, I used to be SUPER protective and vague when it came to stuff at this stage of the story I wanted to tell with my fankids, and was also being sadly dangled along by Blizzard's breadcrumbs of lore---I was in a dance with Blizzard where, I did have a very strong idea of how I wanted the story to end, but I was also dependent on Blizzard for canon lore so that I could make my ending the most accurate, the most satisfying. But seeing as there's basically only lore drops now because Blizzard no longer gives a shit about continuity or quality, and basically the cast has expanded so much since I initially plotted it out that I'll probably have to reconfigure this ending in some capacity anyway, I can talk about it now.

Basically there were two avenues I could have taken with Doomfist, the first one, that actually had those Marsey fics, where it was basically a 'continuation' of the Doomfist cycle, that is, some guy challenges Doomfist for the gauntlet and is able to kill him and take the gauntlet, which obviously puts Seye into a lurch as Doomfist's son and the previously assumed successor. I literally didn't have a name for this would-be killer, and in a way, it didn't really matter because you as the reader weren't supposed to see Doomfist's killer as the rightful bearer of the mantle and Seye's whole arc would be defeating this guy (with Marti's help) and then basically shutting down the weird Metal Gear-esque war cult that's risen around the Doomfist gauntlet as a symbol.

The other option was that Doomfist would be killed in the Final Battle™ at Nepal by... drumroll... Junkrat and Roadhog. NOW BEFORE YOU YELL AT ME, Junkrat and Roadhog would also die in this fight. Roadhog would die before Junkrat, but Junkrat would basically be talking to a very clearly bled-out-past-the-point-of-no-return-and-unconscious Roadie like, "It's okay, Roadie, you can take a nap. I can wrap this up," Before pulling all of the pins on all the grenades on his little chest harness while clinging onto Doomfist. Okay you can yell at me more now. But mostly I loved the combination of dramatic irony of Doomfist being consumed in these fires of chaos, and of the ~Junkers~ of all people going out in a blaze of glory against one of Overwatch's Final Bosses. I had this in my brain for years before Junkrat even got his "I killed the Doomfist!!" elimination line, btw. Doomfist views conflict as its own sort of order, but ends up getting killed by the wacky Mad Max randos who have kind of been the comic relief this whole time. Basically the fact that the Doomfist gauntlet itself would also be destroyed in this kind of fight would aslo be the thing that ends the cycle. That was also the battle that was vaguely referenced in this fic.

In both potential deaths for Doomfist, Seye becomes disillusioned enough with Talon as an organization to basically split off and form his own splinter mercenary organization (I was going to use my Talon Goon OC's as his starting lineup, haha), and he also attempts to create his own mantle as "Earthshaker" but he's still deeply affected by Doomfist's death because that's so much of his identity and he's had this enormous fear of irrelevance all of his life. Like this isn't just the grief of losing a father, this is the threat of oblivion that he's dreaded his entire life. As for Seye's mother, Tejuka, it's less of a blow to her--she more or less came to terms with the fact that Doomfist really doesn't have the philosophy or lifestyle to "go peacefully in his sleep," and that's one of the reasons why they divorced and she put so much effort into grooming Seye to actually be the successor of Ogundimu Prosthetics. Dying is easy, living's harder, etc, etc.

[eclipseshotel]

Funny about the ‘ankle biting thing’ I kinda do want my oc to bite a yautja (and either LITERALLY bite yutja’a ankle as he grabs her ankle/leg and holds her upside down (she grabs his leg and bites ankle/leg idk) or bite his upper arm (not when she’s upside down) idk. The point is even tho she’s badly beat up (from a human) she still is willing to try to fight. But just like yautja to think of her like (maybe hear someone else call her sassy chihuahua because 'why r u trying to fight? U're very weak right now') like an 'ankle biting'

And either literally bites his ankle or just 'because she's so small and helpless right now, it's like she's more of a pest than a threat' ?

Tho idk if human teeth would make a mark/make yautja bleed.. (so idk if he.. has intends of her teeth and knows they won’t last and he himself cuts where teeth marks r so they will make a scar?).

But she sees the scars later and thinks like ‘oh no. Why didn’t he use that healing pod that he used on me? Is he not allowed to use it unless it is life threatening? Or is he keeping it as a reminder of how much he hates me?’

To which he is keeping it as a reminder of like.. 'ok this ooman knows she can’t win but is brave enough to try to fight and not run. It would honor her'

Sorry for rambling but it is funny u say 'ankle biting chihuahua' because that's what my oc literally/figuratively is

I LOVE human ocs who have bite, as well as do bite literally, and are bold enough to try and sink their teeth in a yautja--of all things. lmao One of my ocs LOVES going for her yautja's neck, like a tigress, as it's probably one of the few vulnerable areas on a yautja's body tbh.

My ocs are generally on the sassy but foolish side. They see a big, tall brute and immediately think, "Yeah, I need to bully that." 😂

I doubt a human's teeth can penetrate their skin in most areas, as our teeth are on the blunter side compared to other animals. I'd be afraid of busting a tooth. Their neck, dreads/quills, and fingers are a human's best aim to draw blood.

If we're being honest, most of us wouldn't be considered dangerous enough to be any kind of a threat to a yautja; more a nuisance than anything in their eyes. And when you're on the smaller, shorter side, it's almost laughable. 🤭

Given our significantly smaller stature, and the fact that yautja find us quite inferior in many aspects to begin with, they'd probably find it... amusing, in most cases. Kinda like, "Really? You're biting me? That's the best you got?" I'm not sure I'd want to get near their ankles myself, they've got some wicked clompers. But hey, when it comes to survival, your oc's gotta do what they gotta do! YOU USE WHATEVER YOU CAN LMAO

I think they'd admire the fact that you were willing to stand up against something far larger than yourself.

If you managed to leave indents or draw blood with just your teeth, they'd probably be somewhat impressed, even find it kinda sexy perhaps (if they're frisky enough), since you've managed to mark them. Scars are a yautja's badge of honor--he'll trace that little token with some measure of respect. So all the more power to that oc! Love that for them.

Feel free to ramble about your yautja/human ocs to me whenever you'd like! 😏💗

[nicsalazar]

Through the fog || Cassius & Nicole

TIMING: Current LOCATION: Nightfall Grove PARTIES: @singdreamchild  & @nicsalazar SUMMARY: Cassius and Nicole end up lost in the fog, but something worse lurks near. CONTENT WARNING: None

Nicole had never been too good at keeping her promises. For example, after she had seen a man die —the jury was still out on that one, but...yeah— she vowed to never touch Nightfall grove again. Yet here she was, taking on another stroll in this very strange neighborhood. It was going a lot better, however. So much so, that she was starting to see some of its charm. Sort of. It made sense it was such a hotspot for tourists. Especially those who were interested in the horror or mystery genre.

She had even learned her lesson, as soon as Nicole felt a shift in the atmosphere, she knew it was time to head back to her car, avoid looking at anything that might put her in a trance. Keep her eyes forward and move fast. She didn’t move too fast though, because a fog began setting around her. She remained cool, despite how fast it was falling on her. At least it wasn’t red, which lowered the risk of dealing with her own blood being drained again. But again, she had learned her lesson and she wasn’t staying to find out what this particular fog did. If she was lucky it was just the regular kind, just altered by… gasses around the area? Yeah, she liked the sound of that.

Her pace quickened, spotting her car in the distance. But like a veil, the fog began closing in, draping around her. Nicole considered sprinting the final span, but something crashed against her, almost sending her to the ground. “Shit, was that my fault?” to stabilize herself, she reached for the person she had just collided with, eyes wide in surprise. She hadn’t heard him approaching at all. How was that possible? Before he could speak, she continued. “You see this… thing right? It’s not just me”

Just one night, that’s all he wanted. He wanted to sit peacefully in his cemetery and read his latest poetry book. Just for a moment, for peace and quiet and nothing nonsensical to occur. Of course, this wasn’t meant to be. So he got up and tucked the book into his satchel, then began to walk to where he thought his crypt was. But suddenly, Cassius wasn’t sure where he was. had been. He had been wandering around in aimless confusion for what felt like hours, but in reality had been minutes. He nearly fell over it relief when he ran into someone, quite literally. 

“Apologies, I didn’t see you!” He spoke at the same time she did. He could have sworn that in the thick of the grey fog, he saw blinking eyes. He nodded his head as the woman had asked if he saw it. “Yes, most definitely.” He agreed, blinking a few times, as if it would make it disappear. Of course, it didn’t. “I’m kind of getting tired of all the strangeness that happens in this town,” he growled to himself. He didn’t know what exactly was happening, but he knew this couldn’t just be regular fog. He looked around for anything familiar, but it was just gravestones. No familiar landmarks. 

“I’m going to be honest, I’m a bit lost.” He admitted to the woman, continuing to look around, becoming unsettled when he saw the eyes blink again. Not wanting to startle her any further, he decided to keep the fact that there were eyes in the fog to himself.

Nicole shrugged his apology quickly, realizing they had both missed each other. The fog’s fault, obviously. She regained her composure, nodding at his confirmation. Dread bloomed in her chest. Well, fuck. She wanted to laugh at his muted remark, but she couldn’t order her facial muscles to do it, worry sinking deeper between her brows instead. 

Paired with his admission that he was lost, the wheels in her brain began spinning, coming up with potential scenarios for their conundrum. Was it maybe a fae thing? Like that weird grass she had stepped on once? Or maybe a spectral thing? Ghosts liked this whole eerie aesthetic. Nicole might have to shift into jaguar vision to confirm that one (though she really wanted to avoid that in front of a stranger). But first, safety. “Okay, um” she licked her lips, hands on her hips while she looked around. Maybe it was a psychological thing, because at that moment, it became impossible for her to spot her car anymore. It had been right there, seconds before she ran into this man. “Shit. Ah—” she frowned, squinting as she looked farther into the cemetery. Wait. Had she been at a cemetery? The whole time?

“My car was… Fuck, I don’t— we might be lost. Kinda” definitely, her internal voice supplied unprompted. She resumed walking, expecting her companion to follow. “Can’t stay put though… maybe— maybe if… we keep moving this whole thing will clear out. Right?” it sounded logical in her head. “You know this place? Know what the exit looks like?” they were lost, and definitely under some sort of veil of confusion (could it be a spell?), but they still had eyes and worked well enough to look for things, she figured.   

Cassius frowned as he looked around, hoping that if he looked in a certain direction, there’d be a break in the fog. No such luck. He thought to his positioning in the cemetery. “If I remember correctly, we should be toward the front of the cemetery. He thought to where his crypt was, thinking that he could probably make it back, but then he would be leaving the poor woman in a thick fog which hid who knows what. All he wanted was one night where something didn’t go terribly wrong. The longer time went on, the more that seemed to be an impossibility. For a moment, his mind flitted to his sire who he knew was somewhere in the cemetery. Hopefully, he was safe and sound.

The idea of wandering around aimlessly in this fog worried him. He didn’t like the idea that this fog persisted, and they only wandered further into the cemetery and run into something more nefarious. Knowing where he lived, he knew they were out there. “If we walk this way, we’ll hit the fence eventually. Then we can follow it to an exit.” He spoke, beginning to walk in a straight line in front of him, looking down in front of him as not to trip over any tombstones on his way there.

He didn’t ask why she was out here, just as he hoped that she wouldn’t ask why he was out there. As he continued to walk, eventually, he came into contact with the wrought iron fence. “Finally,” he murmured to himself with a sigh. Alright, now all they needed to do was find an exit. There were three of them, on on each side and one in the front. From here, he could go left or right in hopes of finding an out. Holding onto the fence, he began to walk to his left. “From here, hopefully we can get ourselves out of here.” He spoke aloud, hoping that she had followed him.

Had she been a more effusive person, Nicole would’ve thought of hugging this man. Instead, she allowed a wave of relief and gratitude wash over her as he provided vital information to their safety. “Okay, good. That’s— you really know this place, do you?” It was a rhetorical question, because while his confusion and slight frustration was clear, he didn’t show any physical signs of distress. His heartbeat was barely there, if at all. (Funny… that). In comparison to hers, pounding quicker and quicker as they went on. Nicole had no time to think about the differences. 

The tables turned, and this time Nicole followed the man in his quest to find the fence. It was a silent walk, for the most part, which she didn’t mind. Maybe once they were out of this fog, unscathed, they could better acquaint with each other. (Maybe). His knowledge of the cemetery proved to be just what they needed, as they found themselves right by the fence, like he promised. “Great” she nodded, growing confident in their odds of making it out alive. One tiny worrying thing, however? The fog looked thicker as they moved, sinking into them. And there was that funny feeling in the back of her head, the one she got when she was being watched.

She should’ve known better by now to think anything would be simple. 

“Um,” Nicole frowned, placing a hand to his chest and stopping him. She had seen something from the corner of her eye. But as she turned to confirm her suspicions, she found nothing but fog and headstones. “What was that? Did you see it?” she whispered, in case whatever lurked in the cemetery had ears too.

As soon as the woman began to question her surroundings, Cassius heard a flapping noise. “Yes, I heard it.” He muttered, eyes narrowing as he turned around to look into the nothingness, he quickly let his hand drop to his pocket where he kept his switchblade. This town had strange creatures that left him feeling unsafe, and that knife had become more of a lifeline than he’d ever wanted it to be. He heard it again, this time closer. He had just finished recovering from his run-in with a hunter, the last thing he needed was to be attacked by something again. But of course, his bad luck streak would continue.

Before he had the chance to react, an avian-like creature descended on him as if he were prey, talons locked onto the top of his head as it began to peck incessantly at him. “Fuck!” He shouted as he dropped the knife he had in his hand and raised his hands up to his head to try and pull the thing off of him. No use. The creature’s talons only gripped further into his scalp, and all Cassius could feel was white hot pain as its teeth sunk into the back of his neck. “Dropped my knife!” He screamed out as he continued to try and pry the thing off of him. “Get off of me!” He yelled, shouting in pain as he realized that this bird or whatever it was matched his strength. He couldn’t pry it away no matter how hard he tried. 

The creature did not bother with the woman, it seemed to only have its sights locked on Cassius, lucky for him. Then, the creature swung out one of its limbs, slashing into the side of the woman’s arm. Blood. Cassius’s eyes immediately glowed red at the smell, but quickly squeezed them shut. “I need you to use the knife on the bird,” he instructed the woman, voice going up an octave as the bird bit at his flesh once more. “Please, help me!” He pleaded, red eyes locking onto hers. 

Among all the things Nicole could have anticipated disturbing her evening stroll, she had never considered a fucking murderous bird as an option. What the fuck? “Cover!” She tried to warn, but it was pointless. The creature was far too quick for them to seek shelter behind the headstones. She appeared to be invisible for the creature, who dove directly on her companion instead, gripping his head and pecking at him, not unlike a seagull trying to steal people’s food. She grimaced imagining the pain he must’ve been feeling, and then grimaced again when he made his pain known with a scream. This brought her out of the stupor she found herself in. She glanced down at the knife he had dropped, and considered picking it up, but first she had to try scaring the bird off. 

When Nicole reached out to shoo it off, the bird retaliated, sharp talons slicing her arm. She hissed, missing out on the way his eyes glowed red when her blood spilled, because she was too focused examining her cut. It didn’t look too deep, but fuck, it burned. The bird wasn’t deterred, and remained firmly on top of his head. In fact, it looked seconds away from gnawing at the skull. She had to act fast, do something.

And when she heard his cry for help and her eyes looked with his, the blood drained from her face. Stomach plummeted at the sight. Nicole knew what he was. She’d seen a similar gaze in the monster who fed off her not too long ago. Under a different fog. Fear swirled in her chest as this unraveled. Why should she help him? Wouldn’t he feed off her afterwards? Her arm was already bleeding. If anything, wasn’t this bird a better ally? It only touched her by accident, its murderous instincts locked elsewhere. What if—

She should let things unfold. The thought lodged in her brain and wouldn’t budge. There’d be one less monster to worry about, right? But when his pleading echoed in her head, Nicole felt herself take a step forward, despite what logic dictated. She’d have to get the bird off him and deal with the moral dilemmas later. She couldn’t plunge a knife into this animal, though. It was undeserved. So she approached again, as she had done before it sliced her arm and this time, she managed to get a hold of its wings, pulling with everything she had. It wasn’t easy. It was horrifying, actually. So much so, that Nicole ended up closing her eyes as she tightened her grip on the beast, who wouldn’t go without a fight. Until the struggle ended and the man was finally released, his unnatural blood spilling on the ground. Something told her they would only have few seconds of relief.

Cassius stood there in agony as his blood dripped on him from his head, knowing that the woman undoubtedly knew what he was by now if she had any clue of the supernatural. He looked toward her, shocked that she had done anything to help him. This was his monstrous side, the side he didn’t let anyone see. The part of him he controlled above all else. There was nothing glamorous about being a vampire, and now it was all laid bare for her to see. He stopped breathing, and with it, his eyes went back to normal as he could no longer smell the blood.

“You helped me.” He spoke, brows knitting together in pain and confusion. “Appreciated.” He then spoke as he rifled through his pockets for his handkerchief, something that would do him no good now that he stared down at it. What Cassius needed was a full on towel after this. The fog was still thick, and in the terror that was whatever that bird was, he had forgotten he was near the fence until he took a step back and bumped into it. He saw the fear in her eyes as she opened her eyes, her apprehension towards him. “I’m not going to hurt you.” He spoke, his gaze turning serious. “I don’t… I refuse to hunt humans.” He explained. More blood dripped into his eyes. “But we should get out of here quickly,” he recommended. “Because after getting hurt like this, I don’t know what will happen.” He began to walk with a hand on the fence, not wanting to be too close to her anymore. “I am sorry that this has occurred.” 

As Cassius walked along the fence, only turning around once to see if she was following him, he found the exit with a sigh of relief. He felt his thirst rising. He needed to get out of here and find a food source. And clean himself up, now that he thought about it. He knew the woman would run as soon as she was near the safety of her car, and all he could do was hope that she wouldn’t share with anyone what had happened there, at least not the part about him. The last thing he wanted to do was move to a new city because every hunter had suddenly been dispatched after him. 

Nicole remained silent, offering a curt nod at his gratitude. Her eyes opened, widening in horror at his appearance. She wasn’t sure what was going on, if the vulture now circling above them would dive in again, maybe claim a different body part this time, but she knew they had to make their move fast. She reached down for the knife he had dropped, keeping it aimed at him. She wasn’t planning on attacking, she knew too well that this type of monster had more strength than she did, but… it couldn’t hurt to protect herself, just in case. He was already weakened, maybe she stood a chance. 

But then came his assurance that he didn't hunt humans. It didn’t appease Nicole, though somewhere in the back of her mind —Somewhere the memory of being fed off by one of these creatures couldn’t touch— It rang true.  He could still be lying, though. Just more convincingly. Still, she lowered the knife slightly, somewhat of a peace sign between the two, and agreed to follow toward the exit. If safety was past that fence, she’d team up with whoever could get her there. She pressed a palm against her sleeve, watching a dark patch appear on the fabric. At least it didn’t sting too bad anymore. Nothing that wouldn’t heal in a few days. 

She kept her distance, letting him walk ahead as the pair began chasing the exit. His switchblade, still in Nicole’s hands, now pointed to the sky where the bird appeared to be stalking them. They had to hurry before it descended on them again. She didn’t think this man’s head would withstand another attack. 

Despite the fog making it harder to see where they were heading, he eventually found the exit. Nicole allowed one tiny breath to escape in relief, turning around to check on the animal one last time. It seemed to have found others like it, now flying together, but it didn’t look like they were interested in them anymore. Maybe the next poor soul who walked into the fog wouldn’t have it as easy as them. She didn’t want to entertain that thought for too long. In the distance, Nicole spotted a colorful blur that resembled her Subaru. “Here” she called, the distance between them was drastic. When he turned, she threw the knife at him. She stood there, unsure of what would happen next. She could’ve said thank you, he did navigate them to safety after all, but her mouth wouldn’t form the words. Her head unwilling to forget —nor forgive— his nature. Instead, she settled for, “better go. Before it comes back”. Had he been human, she wouldn’t have hesitated to offer him a ride, hit the emergency room (before making sure Zane wasn’t on call). But clearly, that wasn’t something he could do. And driving with a vampire on the passenger’s seat wasn’t in her plans for the foreseeable future.

In the back of his mind, Cassius knew that this woman could expose his secret. He knew that this bird, wherever it was, could attack again. He knew he couldn’t stay in the cemetery any longer, no matter how many times he desperately tried to remain. It had been his home for so long, but lately it had been nothing more than a den of monsters and those that wished him harm. He thought to his sire, an elder vampire that was stuck somewhere within its walls. No longer could he call it home, as much as it hurt him to admit. Then, the woman stopped.

After reaching her car, Cassius knew he had to leave. As she spoke of getting away before the thing came back, Cassius nodded his head in agreement. “I apologize that you got caught up in that awful fog.” He spoke, eyes finally having gone back to normal. He took off the jacket he wore and put it over his head, not wanting anyone to see his appearance as he ran through town to get to Sofie’s apartment. “Be safe.” He then spoke, the knife now in his hands that she had thrown to him before taking off into the night, away from yet another horror that the cemetery had offered him. 

He would live another day, but he didn’t know for how long. That woman could do anything to him now, she knew his secret. Hopefully it wouldn’t come to bite him in the ass.