#which was a chocolate pudding pie

[tj-crochets]

Pie update: I finished making the salted caramel sauce! This is the recipe I use for salted caramel apple pie, but I use a different pie crust recipe with just butter, no shortening or vodka. I also don't use the 3/4 cup of lemon juice and tbh I'm not sure why it's there? Like, to stop the apples from oxidizing, but that's a lot of lemon juice to immediately drain off the apples and then the next step is assembling the pie where the apples will be covered in caramel. If I have a lemon on hand when I'm making the pie, I'll put some lemon on the apples as I slice them, but if I don't have a lemon I don't and I have not noticed a difference

No crafting update today, because I am starting the process of making pie for the first time in years!! The pie crust is chilling in the fridge, I'm going to get the ingredients coming to room temp to make the caramel sauce soon, and tomorrow I'll make the rest of it I know this might seem like not a big deal but I am so excited! It has been so long since I've been physically capable of making a pie. And like, yeah, I still can't do it all myself like I used to be able to, my brother is going to help me peel and chop the apples, but still!! I'm going to get to have caramel apple pie again!! :D

[charafansmile]

Okay wait since it's now in my head and I want it out: undertale characters as cookie run cookies

Chara: blood pudding cookie

Undyne: roast salmon cookie

Papyrus: bone broth cookie

Sans: bone marrow cookie

Toriel: goat cheese cookie

Asgore: goats milk cookie

Mettaton: edible glitter cookie

Alphys: ramen cookie

Asriel: goat butter cookie

Flowey: edible flower cookie 🌼

Napstablook: sea salt cookie

Mad Mew mew: cat food cookie

Gerson: turtle Jerky cookie

Grillby: smoked cookie

Frisk is.. difficult. Human cookie. Yum.

Burgerpants: ... 'medicinal' cookie

That's all I got kicks the ground is this anything

[teaboot]

No but seriously how did you bake cement??? And by 'flubber', do you mean the semi-sentient being from that old Robin Williams movie

I tried to make cookies and they were so hard I took a bag of them to my friend to formally apologize for my failure to bake her decent cookies. She said it was okay and she would try them anyways and I said “please don’t” and she was like no really and I was like “no, really, please don’t” and I took one out and slammed it against the ground as hard as I could and it didn’t even drop crumbs.

Another time I tried to make cupcakes and they came out of the tray fine and went onto the cooling rack fine but then they just collapsed into like. Cupcake pudding? Somehow?? I put them into little paper cups and iced them like that and they still tasted pretty good so I called them cup-cakes so not a total failure.

And then one time I baked my mom a layered rainbow cake for her birthday and THAT actually set and iced just fine and tasted great, but when I went to cut her the first slice I found a spoon baked inside. Which made her laugh so hard she started crying, so I think that counts as a success

One of my very few baking successes though- and I am very proud of this one- was using an upside-down muffin tray to bake little pie shells out of chocolate chip cookie dough, which I then filled with cherry pie filling and covered with a chocolate chip cookie top, and handed out to my friends for Valentine’s Day. Those were decadent as hell

So anyhow I’m a pretty good cook but not a very good baker, is the thing. I try to avoid baking when I can

[vainvenus]

꒰ The Café ꒱

Hello! Well to Vainvenus' Café! I'll be your host, Vee. Make sure to order a nice beverage to go with any desserts you end up choosing, don't be scared to ask for a little something extra on top of that dessert or in your drink!

The current fandoms that I'm writing for and that you can request characters from are: Formula one, OBX, PJO, TBOSAS, Hunger Games, Harry Potter, The Black phone, The Outsiders, Marvel and DC.

Make sure that when you're requesting you include the Driver/character, who you want saying the quote and which pronouns/gender you would prefer for the reader!

Do not request smut/lime for minors or drivers ( I just don't feel comfortable with it lol ) and don't request anything extremely weird! I will not write pedophillia, incest, dubcon or any extremely weird/illegal kinks!

꒰ Beverages ꒱

Hot Chocolate: Fluff

Cold Brew: Slow-burn

Black Coffee: Angst

Chamomile Tea: Hurt + Comfort

Latte: Lime

Coffee Cocktail: Smut

Amaretto: Royalty Au

Cappuccino: College/University Au

Chocolate Milk: Soulmate Au

Lemonade: Fantasy Au

Water: Au of your choice

Americano: Strangers to Lovers

Espresso: Enemies to lovers

Frappuccino: Friends to lover

Latte Macchiato: Opposites attract

Flat White: Fake dating

Earl Grey Tea: Secret Relationship

Green Tea: Unrequited Love

Mocha: Dark!Driver/Character

꒰ Desserts ꒱

Chocolate soufflé: "I trusted you. How could you?"

Blueberry muffin: "Just tell me the truth."

Banana nut muffin: "Are you breaking up with me?"

Strawberry-nutella crepe: "I'm sorr-" "I don't want your apology."

Strawberry cheesecake: "You don't mean that."

Strawberry shortcake: "I don't wanna say goodbye. Not now."

Raspberry cheesecake: "Shhh. It's okay, I'm here."

Classic cheesecake: "Look me in the eyes and tell me it meant nothing."

Strawberry rhubarb cake: "We're not friends anymore."

Molten lava cake: "Can we still be friends?"

Coffee cake: "You promised."

Caramel cake: "Just leave."

Blueberry bundt cake: "Are you...crying?"

Angel food cake: "Don't look at me like that." "Like you love me."

Carrot cake: "I wish you could see yourself like how I see you."

Red velvet cake: "Did you ever mean it when you told me you loved me?"

Chocolate cake: "I can't lose you."

Tiramisu cake: "I wish we never met."

Fruitcake: "For what it's worth, I'm proud of you."

Pumpkin pie: "Can I...hold your hand?"

Cherry pie: "Please don't say you love me."

Apple pie: "Don’t. Don’t promise me anything. It’s not like you keep them anyway."

Pecan pie: "You still love me?" "I never stopped."

Key-lime pie: "Shhh don't apologize."

Lemon meringue pie: "Stop pushing everyone away!"

Coconut creampie: "You're dead to me."

Tres leches: "You liked me this entire time!?"

Parfait: "Staring is rude." "I'm just admiring."

Macaroons: "I could be a better boyfriend/girlfriend than them."

Cinnamon rolls: "Do you want me to stay?"

Oatmeal cookies: "Please don't leave me alone."

Chocolate chip cookies: "For someone who hates me you're not pulling away."

Snickerdoodle cookies: "Stop looking at me like that..it's hurting my feelings."

Gingersnaps: "I love you so much, do you know that?"

Chocolate donuts: "How long has it been since someone hugged you?"

Hazelnut donuts: "Please don't be scared. I won't hurt you, I swear. I'm here to help."

Pancakes: "Breathe, just breathe."

Butterscotch pudding: "Are you sure you're fine?"

Brownies: "Do you hate me or something?"

Blondies: "Does somebody have a crush on me?"

Vanilla ice cream: "You're my priority."

Chocolate ice cream: "I'm not crying, I have allergies."

Strawberry ice cream: "But I don't want them! I want you!"

Neapolitan ice cream: "I got you cherry perfume!" "They like vanilla."

Cookies n cream ice cream: "You're cute when you get angry."

Mint chocolate chip ice cream: "Me? Jealous? Don't make me laugh."

Churros: "I'm gonna fuck you until the only word your little brain can form is my name."

French toast: "That's it, fuck, that's a good girl/boy."

Cream puffs: "You look so pretty like this."

Lemon bars: "Oh c'mon you can give me one more."

Nanaimo bars: "Uh, uh, look at me."

Scones: "Use your words."

Biscotti: "On your knees. Now."

Belgian waffles: "Please, I need you."

Banana pudding: "You'd sound so good begging for me."

Banana bread: "Go on, fuck yourself on my cock."

Banana split: "Is this okay?" "Yeah, that—more than okay. Please—keep going."

Chocolate truffles: "Relax, I've got you."

Chocolate covered strawberries: "Don't do that, I wanna hear all the pretty noises you make."

Puff pastry: "I can't-” “Yes you can."

Baklava: "You're such a fucking slut."

Chouquette: "You either get off on my thigh or nothing."

Creme brûlée: "You're so in for it when we get home."

Flan: "Swallow. All of it."

Chocolate eclair: "That's so fucking hot."

Beignets: "Let's put that mouth to better use."

Chocolate mousse: "So noisy tonight, do I need to gag you?"

Chocolate croissant: "Just relax for me, I'll make it feel good."

Croissant: "You're mine. All mine. Say it."

Strawberry tart: "Please stop teasing me."

Peach Cobbler: "Look at you. Taking me so well."

Madeines: "Oh c'mon you can be louder than that can't you?"

꒰ EXTRA ꒱

Espresso: Rough Sex

Creamer: Gentle Sex

Whipped Cream: Possessive/Obsessive behaviour

Chocolate Chips: Cockwarming

Strawberries: Dumbification:

Coconut shavings: Semi/public sex

Hazelnut drizzle: Dirty talk

Caramel drizzle: Praise

Strawberry drizzle: Degradation

Vanilla drizzle: Edging

Chocolate Drizzle: Overstimulation

Nutella: Kink of your choice

[mk-wizard]

Cybertronian Foods Take 1

And here is my take on Cybertronian foods. The baking edition. Note that the following is fanmade. I love cooking so I had a lot of fun. I know it all looks geometric, but that is because I imagine their food is so because they're robotic aliens.

1- Nitro-cream - It is basically ice cream. The basic flavor is vanilla beam (yes I spelled it "beam" on purpose).

2- Cake - Yes, they have cake though it tends to have have the same consistency as gems. This is ruby velvet (Optimus' favourite flavor which Elita is famous for making).

3- Atomic Pie - A southern staple. Often served a la mode with nitro cream. It's their version of apple pie.

4- Energon Goodie - They are basically cookies. This one is a silver chip goodie which is the equivalent of a chocolate chip cookie as silver is chocolate to Transformers.

5- Bismuth Pudding - Looks like a gem, but it has a soft gelatinous and creamy texture. It's popular among children.

6- Doughnuts - Their take is more like an actual nut. This one is salted gold. On Cybertron, gold is the equivalent of caramel.

7- Muffin - Hey, muffins are a basic thing and come in a variety of flavor. Copper bran is the most popular flavor.

8- Bread - They look like bars of copper, but when you cut them or break them, they are fluffy inside.

9- Charcoal & Waffles - Another southern staple. Charcoal strips that are deep fried to a golden brown and then placed on top of a lovely fresh fluffy waffle and then topped off with homemade jaem.

10 - Tincakes - Cybertronian pancakes which are typically served with botter and tar syrup.

[catscidr]

Could I request head canons with reader who likes to cook and clean and is basically like a house wife. Dottore and Childe please ☺️

(oﾟ◇ﾟ)ﾉ perhaps you can............. i did my best to try to make these not too redundant , so forgive me if they're a little repetitive sometimes. the tldr is just that they love their cute wife (you) shgjngfns ⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝ cw: fluff! domestic fluff!! talks of food, mentions of having a family, childe's part gets a teensy bit suggestive includes: fem!reader, dottore and his clones, tartaglia wc: 1,2k

-ˋˏ It’s a popular headcanon that Dottore has a sweet tooth and I’m here to contribute to it bc I’m a firm believer in the Man Bad But Secretly Soft trope.......

-ˋˏ You often find yourself baking desserts for him to eat when he gets home from work and, on the rare occasions that he’s home while you’re baking, you make him taste-test the dessert you’re currently making 

-ˋˏ He’s actually decent at baking (it’s just food science and he’s The Science Guy), however he doesn’t particularly enjoy doing it. But you do! You love doing acts of service for him, which is why you got promoted from housewife to personal-pastry-and-dessert-expert housewife (said endearingly) 

-ˋˏ Good ol’ chocolate chip cookies, maple pudding, red velvet cake, lemon meringue pie, tiramisu, mille-feuille; you'd make so many desserts that he had to buy a chef-grade refrigerator on top of your regular fridge to store them. Not that he minded of course, but sometimes he’d lightly scold you for making so many unhealthy foods (all the while being a hypocrite himself because he’s the one enabling you) 

-ˋˏ Has a mini fridge in his office full of desserts (and the occasional homemade sandwich, for variety). He always has to restock it because his segments always get into it and eat his sweets that you made for him 

-ˋˏ When he tells you about it you end up giving him two extra tupperware containers full of sweets that you insist he gives to his segments, especially the younger ones. If he doesn’t, you’ll just show up to his lab and give your freshly baked desserts to them yourself 

-ˋˏ Sometimes Dottore tries to bake with you, but you always get frustrated that he never makes the desserts look nice. He just takes up space in your shared kitchen when he tries to help; which you tell him that by staying out of your way he’s helping 

-ˋˏ You’re also the designated cook since he doesn’t really have any skills in the kitchen outside of knowing the technical stuff. The man is too busy fiddling with machines and organs to know about how to properly sear a steak 

-ˋˏ His favorite meal of yours is a simple steak paired with a good, dry Malbec. You’re always setting up the table when he gets back from work, to which he always hugs you from the back to greet you. One time you didn’t hear him come in and you accidentally dropped the plate you were holding (you made him eat it as punishment. five second rule) 

-ˋˏ On the rare times he works from home you insist that he doesn’t need to help you with chores, no matter how much he offers (which wasn’t that often to begin with, but at least he offered. like..... once). Instead, he’d get settled on the kitchen table while you wash the dishes, vacuum, etc 

-ˋˏ Some days you’d be in comfortable silence, while on other days you’d listen to him ranting about how irritating his coworkers are, or about how much he wants to fire some of his underlings because they’re “so incompetent��. Thankfully you can calm him down before he,, makes an angry phone call 

-ˋˏ You don’t get the chance to visit him at work that often, so you revel in the times where he’s able to work from home. But since you can’t go see him that often, it means you don’t see his clones either 

 -ˋˏ The older segments would refrain from asking about you (because you’re Prime’s wife, not theirs. he’s yelled at them multiple times about it. bro’s possessive) while the younger ones would consistently bother him about your whereabouts. He insists that he hates it when they ask, but inwardly he imagines how you’d take care of them. (is it to heal his inner child or to imagine how good of a mother you could be? maybe both, but he wouldn’t admit to the former) 

✧✧✧ 

-ˋˏ Childe would have been your housewife if he wasn’t a Harbinger. point blank 

-ˋˏ Buuuut, since he isn’t, he makes sure to take care of you. You’re always cleaning after him, cleaning him sometimes, and overall taking up more tasks than he thought you could (should) chew. Of course, you did it all out of love and didn’t expect him to owe you anything, but he’d feel bad if he didn’t help at least a little bit 

-ˋˏ So once or twice a week (depending on when his schedule allows it) you’ll both be cleaning the house and doing chores together 

-ˋˏ You’re both listening to music while sweeping the floor, reorganizing the pantry, wiping down the counters..... getting as much done as you can before Childe decides he’d rather have you sat up on a counter while he nestles himself closer to you 

-ˋˏ He always buys the best appliances for your sake since you’re the one that’s home most of the time. That one really expensive, cordless vacuum cleaner you saw at the store? He bought it. A duster with a retractable handle that can help you reach the top of shelves without you needing to stand on a chair to clean? Childe bought it before you could even ask. That really cute cherry-shaped deep dish with matching baking utensils you saw at the store together? He’s carrying it to your car right now 

-ˋˏ Though while he does buy really useful things, he balances it out by getting you unnecessary items. Like a frilly pink apron with Kiss the cook embroidered in cursive on it, or a soup ladle that looks like the Loch Ness monster but I digress 

-ˋˏ Childe is 100% a family man- so, as a result, he's thought about having his own family with you. After seeing you indulging Teucer and his siblings’ shenanigans, he absolutely wants to have kids with you and have you do things like read books to them, make them lunch to bring to school, etcetc 

-ˋˏ Loves to come back home from work to you, smelling the fresh aroma of dinner wafting in the air 

-ˋˏ He loves your cooking!! Can’t get enough of it, especially when he comes back from training and he’s all spent. Whether it be your homemade soup, a hearty meaty meal, or a pasta dish he’ll always devour whatever you make 

-ˋˏ You make extra portions of chicken, steak, whatever protein-filled meal when he’s bulking so he can bring leftovers to work to eat them after sparring sessions. It makes everyone else jealous (which is partly his intention lol) 

-ˋˏ Boasts about you to his coworkers and agents below him, always saying “my wife” with a lovesick smile on his face 

-ˋˏ Has a whole bunch of photos of you in his office, ranging from cute candid pictures to professional, framed photos on his desk, and a tasteful polaroid of you in his wallet. Adores showing you off to others (except the photo he has in his wallet, of course. that’s for his eyes only), so much so that sometimes his underlings try to come up with excuses to leave because he goes on and on and on........ what can he say, he loves his cute housewife !!

[laplumasucia]

okay i’m making a post abt the 118 as desserts

i almost included a detailed discussion in a fic but that just doesn’t work as an interesting scene so i’ll give my opinions and reasoning.

also, i tried to include one dessert from each character’s cultural background for fun but also bc i accidentally started that trend and it seemed weird to discontinue it.

1. Ravi is either kardemummabullar (Swedish cardamom bun) or gulab jamun (Indian fried dough w/ cardamom syrup) because idk i just know he’s cardamom flavoured. i don’t know how to explain that but he gives off sweet, kinda herbal/fragrant and spicy when he wants to be.

2. eddie would be arroz con leche (Mexican rice pudding) or kanelbullar (Swedish cinnamon bun) bc he is cinnamon-y. i have no explanation for this tbh but rice pudding is my dad’s favourite and i love kanelbullar and eddie is a father? idk i think he likes cinnamon. and i like cinnamon. and yeah.

3. buck would be a twinkie (all american, blond, cream filled) or battenberg cake (English cake with marzipan and jam). i’m thinking he’s like a vanilla or nutty flavour? also ik he isn’t blond but he is in my heart and it’s the easiest way to distinguish him from eddito. but nvm about that, buck unfortunately is probably british or dutch but mostly he’s so american :( (its okay i love him)

4. hen gives creme brulee (french custard with hard sugar top) vibes or pastel/pastéis de nata (Portuguese custard tart)?? ig she reminds me of custard?? i also don’t think we have a cultural background for her like we have for chim, ravi, or eddie, but for some reason i went french. i don’t think she is french and i am not about to spell brulee with the û and è, even for her.

5. bobby is a big slice of chocolate cake or chocolate chip cookies bc so he is comforting and chocolatey. he’s like childhood memories. i don’t know why i think bobby would be polish so i almost said chocolate babka but like… i think that man is just white bread like buck. although i think buck has jewish vibes whereas we know bobby is catholic so he might be irish. unfortunately bobby doesn’t give soda bread and i literally don’t know any other irish sweets.

6. chim makes me think if hotteok (Korean pancake with syrup filling) or jian dui (Chinese sesame ball with red bean paste) bc i think he has the subtle sweet nuttiness of sesame i guess. again, this is all vibes but i was thinking about the hotteok at my local Korean taco shop and they put sesame in the syrup, it’s so good. alternatively i think chim could be a bomb coconut cake.

now heres where i think i’m going off the rails. ships as desserts.

madney is carrot cake and i can’t explain that. i think like nuts + coconut from chim then like cake + fruit/veg from maddie (who would be like a trifle/angel food cake + strawberries) = carrot cake

bathena is flourless chocolate cake or cola cake and this does have an explanation. i feel like athena is deep and rich and bobby is warm and fun so either rich like flourless cake or a fun southern twist (bc athena!) like cola cake.

henren is crème caramel which is basically a flan with a thin caramel sauce. i think hen is the flan (easy to overlook but a really good custard is so worth it) and karen is the caramel that enhances it. i think alone karen could be salted caramel or pecan pie.

finally, buddie. this is really hard bc part of me says churro con chocolate (chocolate sauce/dip) but the other part says bread pudding. like churros are so good on their own but with the chocolate, chef’s kiss. it’s iconic. it’s fabulous. but buck isn’t really giving chocolate? but in this context, he IS. like the chocolate is fun and reminds me of being young.

but the bread pudding. okay first i need to say proper bread pudding needs to be WET and STICKY and it needs to have nuts and cinnamon and a lot of vanilla. don’t fucking touch a dry bread pudding, that needs to be like gooey dessert french toast. you shouldn’t know where the bread ends and the pudding begins. this is not a joke about “where does buck end and eddie begin” i am telling you as someone raised in a bakery what this dessert should be like.

okay now back to buddie… this dessert has the cinnamon, the vanilla, the nuttiness, everything these men are. also. haha. gooey and sticky. comforting in the winter or perfect with ice cream in warm weather. better without raisins (who is raisins? temu?) but if you’re into that it’s……….. fine. i’m just not a raisin guy. bread pudding is like buttery and custardy and sugary and cinnamon-vanilla perfection. honestly maybe the whole 118 could be a chocolate chip bread pudding. oh and like buddie as bread pudding metaphorically… simple ingredients. the humble loaf of bread. a bit of milk. the lowly egg. sugar and spice. all collabing to become blessed bread pudding. guys eddie and buck see themselves as a leftover bit of bread or the last of the milk in the carton but they see each other as BREAD PUDDING.

omg i need to stop talking abt this. i’m cooking too hard and i’m making myself hungry but i have no food in my home bc i move tomorrow.

if i’m delusional please let me know but i swear i feel like megamind

[mwolf0epsilon]

Seeing your little doodle of Henry and his cake had me thinking: can a mimic eat the same foods we humans eat? Or do they have dietary restrictions much like how animals can't eat specific foods e.g. chocolate, coffee, etc? Are they capable of consuming things like coal and oil like the engine they impersonate?

Yes, mimics can indeed eat the same foods as humans.

But they are also constrained by some dietary restrictions due to their organs taking on the specifications of the vehicle or heavy machine they've taken on as their final form. So, essentially, depending on what they become, a mimic's diet will change to accommodate the fuel type and the crews are responsible for preparing their food to specification.

Steam engine mimics consume coal, so they become more carnivorous in nature because they quite literally burn through calories very quickly (they run hotter than other mimics and, while their stomach acid is strong enough to burn through organic matter and metal, they are more likely to get sick if they eat synthetic chemicals).

Diesel engine mimics consume diesel fuel, so they are more herbivorous in nature so as to not overload their system with more carbon (they can on occasion consume protein to balance out their natural requirements, and they're considerably more resistant to poisoning than steam engine mimics, but they still have their limits).

Road vehicle mimics are more omnivorous because their fuels vary, and you even have crane mimics who are more often than not piscivorous or insectivorous.

That of course doesn't mean they can't have a few special treats of their preference. Human foods are especially delectable to mimics who view them as the most luxurious things that their handlers can offer them in return for work (being minor fae, mimics have a concept of value that they assign certain goods and services, and human food is at the very top of the list on the scale of offerings).

The only common denominator is that mimics are not allowed to have carbonated drinks because it seems to nullify the effects of Golden Dust Inc. Feed™ which is what railways use to shrink them when they're not in service (no one is sure why this is, but as a general rule of thumb you shouldn't give critters soda anyway...).

Here's a known list of what foods/snacks/desserts and drinks one can use to reward/bribe specific mimics (this is an excerpt from the Fat Controller's notebook, so it's not a complete list), some of which raise some eyebrows:

Glynn - English Breakfast / Earl grey tea

Thomas - Savoury pastries / Store-bought orange juice

Edward - Fish and Chips / Chamomile tea

Henry - Fish jerky or pickled veggies / Fresh fruit juice

Gordon - Chocolate pastries / Mint tea

James - Pancakes topped with fruit / Strawberry milkshake

Percy - Grilled cheese sandwich / Chocolate milk

Toby - English muffins / Black coffee

Duck - Cadbury creme eggs / Oat milk

Donald & Douglas - Cullen skink and shepherd's pie / Honey lemon milk

Oliver - Werther's Originals / Latte

Toad - Banana chips / Banana milkshake

Emily - Blueberry muffins / Black tea

Rosie - Banana bread / Cranberry Juice

Ryan - Pasty barm / Beetroot juice

Bill & Ben - Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches / Hot cocoa

Diesel - Steamed Brussels sprouts with melted cheese / Blackberry juice

BoCo - Chocolate pudding / Cappuccino

Daisy - Ambrosia fruit salad / Honeydew juice

Mavis - Fruit tarts / Tutti frutti smoothie

Paxton - Spicy sweet potato fries / Orange carrot mango smoothie

Diesel 10 - Bone Marrow Soup / Pineapple juice

Victor - Ropa Vieja / Rum

Kevin - Tuna salad sandwich / Dr. Pepper

Hiro - Fried chicken wings / Lemon tea (Substitutes for his favourite snacks from home)

Salty - Salted pretzels / Lemonade

Porter - Stuffed squid / Lemonade

Cranky - Crabsticks / Whiskey

Naturally no one is encouraged to give a mimic alcohol, especially not during work hours. It's not bad for them per say (I mean, alcohol isn't good for anyone really, you know what I mean) but it certainly isn't making any of them overly productive...

[yuri-is-online]

Ngl, Aceyuu has me in a chokehold right now. Now imagine this:

Yuu's been learning how to improve their cooking and baking so they and Grim don't have to stick to eating the same ol' food everyday. After successfully making their first successful dish, which is chicken pasta bake, they decided to kick it up a notch. Salads, meat dishes, soups, pastries and desserts, the Ramshackle duo are eating good. So, why not make lunch for the both of them to bring to school?

The first years look in awe when they see the delicious lunches Grim and Yuu are eating. Ace, however, has his eyes set on Grim's dessert: a slice of cherry pie. But just before he can grab it, Grim's already chowing down on the pie before trying to take some of Ace's food. Yuu, of course, scolds Grim and gives him one if their cranberry white chocolate buns to tame him. Noticing Ace's expression, it didn't take long for them to put two and two together. So, they ask for the first years to come over to Ramshackle for dinner. While the first years are talking excitedly, Yuu throws Ace a wink, confusing him.

At Ramshackle, the dining table was full of dishes: grilled chicken, vegetable stir fry, shish kabobs, and more. When it was time for dessert, everyone was on the edge of their seats until Yuu came out with different desserts for each first year. Mini egg tarts for Deuce, pear compote with vanilla ice cream for Jack, spiced apple muffins for Epel, double chocolate cookies for Sebek, custard pudding for Grim, and Yuu has strawberry gelato. To their shock, Ace doesn't have any dessert which bums him a little. Though, to be fair, he is super full so he probably has no room for dessert at the moment. But Yuu, ever the friendly soul, let's Ace eat some of their gelato.

Before they leave, Yuu asks Ace to stay behind because they have something to gift him. They hand him a box tied with a red ribbon and tell him to open it when no one's looking. He's confused but he complies.

Back at Heartslabyul, Ace opens up the box to find what's inside: beautiful mini black forest cakes arranged into a heart shape. Ace, who's a little hungry, snacks on the cakes while feeling all giddy.

annon this is a whole meal (⊙_⊙) and I had to make sure I had a whole meal before I let myself look at this ask, people extensively describing food makes me hungry (－－；

I would make one mini addition to your little scenario, cherry pie is listed as Ace's favorite food, so it makes a bit more sense for Yuu to give him something like that... especially since that's what he wanted from Grim in the first place! Maybe it could be something like these heart shaped cherry hand pies? And Yuu gives him one little black forest cake for desert so it doesn't seem like they are singling him out too much, I mean sure Ace is their favorite but they can't tell the other boys that!!! They need to make up some sort of excuse, maybe they stole found a pencil of his they need to give him so they ask him to stay behind so they can get it for him... and Ace "sighs" and agrees to, acting like he's soooo inconvenienced while the other first years exchange a look and book it so they don't have to deal with you two.

Ace would be so stupid embarrassed if you made him cherry pie. It's his favorite, you know him and see him. Making food for someone is a pure and heavenly form of love, and you had to think about what you wanted to make for each of them and thought long enough about him to make him something extra. It's so touching he can;t even bring himself to gloat about it, but he will thank you for the food.

How can he be expected to get more otherwise?

[ofc-vi-writes-too]

More Bucky Headcanons just because ✨✨

some are +18 so if that makes u uncomfy or u are -18 please scroll!! It is clearly labelled where they start, so if u only want one or the other the division is there!!

this got kinda long lol sorry

—————————————

PG 13 SECTION:

• He has a lot of old fashioned/outdated beliefs so sometimes he’ll say something and you just have to look at him and go 😀😄😀 “no.” and then have a conversation with him about why what he just said is objectively morally corrupt. He’s very open to it and it doesn’t happen a lot but when it does he’s willing to understand and he asks questions about whatever messed up thing he said. He’s very progressive for a man who was in his early 20’s in 1945.

• he has a lot of old fashioned/outdated beliefs so ur dates are literally superior and your instagram is filled with people commenting things like “if you look closely you can see me swinging in the background” or “hey god its me again” and you cant forget the classic “when will it be my turn.” He brings you flowers at least once a week, and chocolates are a MUST for him, and as soon as he found out about edible arrangements there is one on your desk at work at least once a month. you tell him your gonna get fat from all the sweets he brings you and he says “good” and thats the end of that convo.

• on the note of food, he’s a fantastic cook. Most of the time. He has tried on multiple occasions to feed you depression era foods (balogna caserole, jello molds, pea pasta, etc) one time he made you a jello mold with olives and tuna in it and you got physically sick (it was the first time he saw you throw up so he kinda just stood there like 😬 and patted your back like “there there, my bad ill never give you tuna+jello in the same dish again” which he STILL makes for himself) so he decided to stick with more modern recipes for actual meals (which are always delicious). But he swears on his life that dessert recipes were better when he was a kid, and he always bakes you the sweets his mom made when he was little such as, apple pie, wacky cake, water pie, prune pudding, frozen fruit salad.

• he really likes crispy cookies so he’ll take urs out when theyre cooked the regular amount, and he leaves his in the oven for like another 10 minutes at minimum. He likes it best when the edges of the cookies are literally burnt and when the chocolate even gets crispy. He dips em in milk though which i guess is slightly redeeming? But the crunch on his cookies should be punishable by law. It counds like crisps when he chews.

• Texts like:

Bucky ❤️❤️

Hey…

hey?? u good?

Yes. I just wanted to say

I love you…

ilyt.. y r u being

so ominous?

I am not…

I just wanted to send you

this big long paragraph chunk

about how much I love you. It

has to be grammatically correct

because I’m old and it will take

me 15 minutes at minimum to

finish typing this text because

I am typing with one hand, and

I have big thumbs. Thank god

for voice memos. Also what

does OMG mean?

————————————————————————

it drives you insane but he physically cannot comprehend any other way to text. He also had a flip phone until you forced him to get a new one. When he gets it he doesn’t send you texts anymore, and instead only sends voice memos (its so much faster)

• loves a sweet treat but is terribly embarrassed about it. Literally the trope where the big scary guy orders a black coffee “for himself” and his cute girly gf gets like a sugar unicorn rainbow suprise, and after they get their drinks they switch. He makes you order it with extra whipped cream and sprinkles. If you like sweet drinks too, he will still order the black coffee and not drink it. He will consistently order 3 drinks despite there only being 2 of you. Sometimes he drops it off w Steve because he knows he likes black coffee and he hates waste, but he is still too embarrassed to just order his drink.

• cried watching Up, Toy Story 2, The Princess and the Frog, Moana, The beauty and the beast (which was ur halloween costume the year he first watched it. His choice.) and Cars (you still don’t know why he cried about cars to this day and it has been YEARS.)

• despite being an ex assassin, when he’s not in fight or flight mode he’s terribly unathletic. He talks big game before a bowling date and he literally bowls a 45. You didn’t know anyone over the age of 8 could score that low in a game where you simply roll a ball. You also took him to In Shape to play tennis and he hit a car with the ball.

• his body physically cannot handle energy drinks. as much sugar as he consumes, energy drinks make him jittery and paranoid for some reason, and despite being a relatively quiet man, he doesn’t shut up when there’s a red bull in his system

• pro legalizing weed in all states. Tried an edible one time before bed because he overheard someone say it or read somewhere that it can help with sleep, and he swears he had never slept that good in over 100 years of being alive. Even pre super soldier serum.

• He’s a man of few words so in the beginning of u 2 going out there would be long periods of awkward silence. He took you on a lot of movie dates so he could avoid this problem as much as possible.

•Def doesn’t wear his arm to bed so you guys have an easier time spooning. You don’t have to deal with the problem that a lot of couples have where you wanna cuddle but his arm falls asleep cs ur laying on it. but for him theres no arm to lay on!!!! yippeee!!! Cuddling in bed typically looks like him being the big spoon with his right arm around your waist. His left shoulder is in whatever position his decides is comfortable that night. He also has a habit of not sleeping with his head on the pillow so you typically feel his nose/breathe against the small of your back. He often kisses you there while rubbing your side to put you to sleep

• cuddling is a little different when he has a bad nightmare tho. Sometimes he doesn’t want to cuddle so he’ll lay on the floor on your side of the bed and go back to sleep there, or at least try to. Thats usually what happens if you don’t wake up. If you do, you go and get him a glass of water, and a cold rag to wipe is sweat off. You give him a minute until he’s ready to lay back down. He lays on his back, and you suction yourself to his side. One leg over his and your arm on his chest, rubbing soothing patterns to try and slow his hammering heart. You kiss where you can reach, but he’s huge, so its usually just his shoulder and chest, and you tell him all your favorite things about him, and how much you love him, and how safe he is here in your arms. It works 95% of the time.

RATED R SECTION:

• its ur lucky day if ur a pillow princess! he likes being able to physically take care of his partner without them having to do any work. He feels like it’s his way of saying thank you for staying with him thru all his trauma and whatnot

• if his s/o is plus sized he will make the effort to be able to lift 2 times their weight bare minimum (which doesn’t take that much effort on his part), and he gets a little smug when he lifts his partner up against the wall the first time and they’re a little shocked because hey no one has ever been able to do that before what is happening oh noooo BOOM you’re in love

• usually not the one to initiate anything. He feels like he’s pressuring you when he does, but you can always tell when he’s in the mood because he gets clingy and cannot look you in the eye.

• in the same vein, he doesn’t really get horny that often but when he does… whew chile GOOD LUCK. Super human stamina is a gift and a curse with him!!

• he doesn’t like to mark you up, but he loves it when you do. He likes getting done and seeing the scratches on his back in the mirror, or having to cover up hickeys with turtlenecks. His favorite is when he makes you help him cover the harder to hide ones to his with makeup. (he bought the right color for himself but didn’t know how to use it). LOVE LOVE LOVES when you bite him.

• Again, he’s typically a man of few words but he will mumble random things “to himself” but loud enough for you to barely hear it too. a lot of “so fucking good,” “pretty girl” “all mine” “all yours” “tell me I’m yours” “say your mine” and other things of that nature

• I think I said this in the last one but I’m a firm believer that he wouldn’t wear his arm unless he had to/felt unsafe. and I would argue that he feels pretty safe if yall are doing the shaboingboing. SO holding you is a little difficult for your amputee bf. Getting into a good and comfortable position for both of you tends to bring a lot of laughs.

•He likes to touch you a lot while y’all are getting down and dirty. It helps ground him in a way. He struggles a little bit with dissociation, even when getting intimate so being able to feel your skin under his palms helps keep him on Earth and focused on getting his s/o off.

————————————————————————

A/N: thank you if you resd this far. dont be shy and leave a note behind! i have more chapters of friends dont on the way i swear. Im genuinelu just slow IM SORRY AHH

anyways good night cuties 🌙💫⭐️✨

[lingpaopao]

. ݁₊ ⊹ 🍭🍨 𝘋𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘵 𝘝𝘰𝘤𝘢𝘣𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘺 🍧🍰 . ݁˖

// Candy // Cotton candy ~ 棉花糖 (miánhuātáng) Note: 'marshmallow' has the same name as cotton candy in Chinese Gummy ~ 软糖 (ruǎntáng) Lollipop ~ 棒棒糖 (bàngbàngtáng) Fudge ~ 乳脂软糖 (rǔzhī ruǎntáng) Caramel ~ 焦糖 (jiāotáng) Jellybean ~ 果冻豆 (guǒdòng dòu) Toffee ~ 太妃糖 (tàifēi táng) Liquorice ~ 甘草 (gāncǎo) // Baked Sweets // Cupcake ~ 杯子蛋糕 (bēizi dàngāo) Brownie ~ 布朗尼 (bùlǎngní) Sponge cake ~ 海绵蛋糕 (hǎimián dàngāo) Lava cake ~ 熔岩蛋糕 (Róngyán dàngāo) Black forest cake ~ 黑森林蛋糕 (hēisēnlín dàngāo) Cheesecake ~ 乳酪蛋糕 (rǔlào dàngāo) Tiramisu ~ 提拉米苏 (tílāmǐsū) Scone ~ 司康 (sīkāng) Macaron ~ 马卡龙 (mǎkǎlóng) Waffle ~ 华夫饼 (huáfū bǐng) Tart ~ 塔 (tǎ) Crepe ~ 可丽饼 (kělì bǐng) Pie ~ 派 (pài) Chocolate chip cookie ~ 巧克力碎片饼干 (qiǎokèlì suìpiàn bǐnggān) Donut ~ 甜甜圈 (tiántiánquān) Brulee ~ 烤布蕾 (kǎo bùlěi) Creampie ~ 奶油派 (nǎiyóu pài) Cinnamon bun ~ 肉桂卷 (ròuguì juǎn) Gingerbread ~ 姜饼 (jiāngbǐng) Red velvet cake ~ 红色天鹅绒蛋糕 (hóngsè tiān'é'rónghuá dàngāo) // Frozen Desserts // Sherbet ~ 雪葩 (xuěpā) Gelato ~ 吉拉朵 (jílāduǒ) Sundae ~ 圣代 (shèngdài) Shaved ice ~ 刨冰 (bàobīng) Ice cream ~ 冰激凌 (bīngjīlíng) Note: another common name is 冰淇淋 (bīngqílín). Popsicle ~ 冰棍儿 (bīnggùn'er) // Misc. // Custard ~ 奶黄 (nǎihuáng) Puff ~ 泡芙 (pàofú) Popcorn ~ 爆米花 (bàomǐhuā) Milkshake ~ 奶昔 (nǎixī) Jello ~ 果冻 (guǒdòng) Oreo ~ 奥利奥 (àolì'ào) // Common Asian Desserts // Mochi ~ 麻糬 (máshǔ) Tanghulu ~ 糖葫芦 (tánghúlu) Black sesame soup ~ 黑芝麻糊 (hēi zhīma hú) Swallow's nest ~ 燕窝 (yànwō) Sago pudding ~ 西米布丁 (xīmǐ bùdīng) Snow fungus soup ~ 雪耳糖水 (xuě'ěr tángshuǐ) Osmanthus Jelly ~ 桂花糕 (guìhuā gāo) Grass jelly ~ 仙草 (xiāncǎo) // Example Text // https://www.sohu.com/a/443013219_120949919

口味最“奇怪”的4种糖果 -> the four candies with the strangest flavours.

1、星空棒棒糖 -> planet lollipops

星空棒棒糖有名的高颜值糖果，大部分的女生都有买过，或是男生情人节买来送女朋友都有了解过。-> Planet lollipops are popular for their appearance, lots of women have already purchased them before, or men who, on Valentine's day gifted it to their girlfriends, have understood. 它的味道你尝过后就会觉得“这是什么沙雕玩意儿，我吃了塑料吗？”，有这种感觉并不奇怪，星空棒棒糖大部分都是甜苦甜苦的味道，有些还带着塑料的气味，吃完就怀疑人生，估计这个糖果也就只能当做摆设。-> After tasting its flavour, you will think: "what is this sand sculpture-like thing, am I eating plastic?" Having this kind of feeling isn't exactly strange, planetary lollipop largely have a bittersweet flavour, some lollipops even have a plastic odour, after eating it, you'll question your life, seems like this kind of candy is only used for decoration.

2、榴莲糖 -> durian candy

...打开包装就是浓浓的榴莲味，吃到嘴里就感觉是三里往外都是这个榴莲味 -> upon opening the package are the dense/strong durian smells, eating them makes you feel that the durian smell is everywhere within a 3 mile radius.

3、姜汁糖 -> ginger candy

姜汁糖里面就是有大量的姜味，吃的第一口还是上面糖味，含一会后姜味就显露出来了，你会有一种姜辣的感觉，一直猛吸气想要减少这个辣味，没想到后面越吃越辣，让人有点受不了，吃到一半就吐了，这种一般都是家里的老人才会买，老人很喜欢这种甜辣的感觉，甚至吃起来还想喝一两口小酒。-> Within ginger candy is a considerable amount of ginger flavour, after eating the first bite, the first taste is sweet, after sucking on it for a bit, the ginger flavour will come out and you get have a spicy ginger feeling. Keep inhaling sharply, wanting to reduce this spiciness, not knowing that more and more spiciness will follow, intolerable, spat it out halfway through, this kind of candy will typically be bought by a family's older individuals, elders really like this kind of spicy-sweet feel, to the point of also wanting to drink a couple gulps of liquor.

世界上最好吃的十种甜点，吃过六种，算我服！-> 10 of the world's most delicious desserts, eaten 6 types, count me in!

1、布朗尼蛋糕--美国 -> Brownie--America

布朗尼蛋糕属于重油蛋糕的一种，但它和一般重油蛋糕的区别在于通常较薄且较结实，不像普通蛋糕那样松松的, 而且一定是巧克力口味 -> Brownies are considered a type of pound cakes, but they are different from regular pound cakes in that they are usually on the thinner and sturdier side, unlike the regular cakes which are fluffier, and brownies need a chocolate flavour.

2、提拉米苏--意大利 -> Tiramisu--Italy

提拉米苏是一种带咖啡酒味儿的意大利甜点 -> tiramisu is a type of coffee-flavour containing Italian dessert.

10、乳酪蛋糕--阿拉伯 -> Cheesecake--Arabic

这类蛋糕介于蛋糕和甜点之间，因而越来越受人关注 -> this type of cake is a cross between cakes and desserts, and because of this, more and more people have given it attention.

[the-fandom-queenxox]

Blaming @sincerely-nines for letting the demons out

Here is the minecraft food update ideas that have been plaguing me fo a very long time:

(Also I know most of what I am about to list off are in many minecraft mods, you don't have to tell me about them, I just wanna yap about things)

(Also also I mainly talked about food we could have with the already existing edible minecraft items)

-First of all WHY DON'T WE HAVE APPLE PIE IN MINECRAFT!!! WE HAVE PUMPKIN PIE SURE BUT WE DESERVE APPLE PIE TOO!! Oh and also golden/enchanted golden apple pie... cause I think it would be funny and I want it

-Continuing the pie train sweet berry pie, glow berry pie, shepherd's pie(we have enough meat options to make it), chicken pot pie and also just learned about this one, fish pie

-Speaking of fish, sushi. "Oh bUt FAndOm yOU neEd riCe AnD SeAwEEd To mAKe sUsHI" no you don't, there are many recipes of sushi without rice in them and you can use the dried kelp as a substitute to seawed

-But also yeah they should add rice too

-Squids, we should be able to eat the squids... both of them(and yes you would get the glow effect if you ate the glow squid)

-Getting back on the pie train for a second for the actual last pie for the list(unless I forgot any that could be made via the limited items we have in minecraft), chorus fruit pie, cause it's funny to think about

-Carrot cake, chocolate cake or even better brownies, sweet berry cake and glow berry cake

-Sugar cookies

-Cheese!!! Which they made cheese in one of the april fools updates, so they infact can code this in, but I want it in a specific way, it is the height of a half slab and it is eaten like a cake... and maybe also cream, butter, yogurt or frosting even, since the one cake we do have seems to already have something like that on the sprite on it... also I think it would be funny if you crafted a whole stick of butter and eat it infront of your friends

-Speaking of "april fools updates" sweet potatoes and mashed potatoes

-Chocolate, just regular chocolate

-Add on from the last point hot chocolate

-French toast, we have all the ingredients for this why can't we have it?!

-Maybe some egg dishes? Like fried eggs, boiled eggs, scrambled eggs...

-Oh it just came to me, eggs benedict! Just replace the english muffin with regular bread, which probably make it count as a sandwich now that I think about it... they should also add sandwiches...

-Maybe also some more dishes with mushrooms? Even though I don't lkke mushrooms irl it's kinda weird to only have one food item with them in it

-I also wouldn't mind if they made more stews or soup

-Puddings! More specifically bread pudding and chocolate pudding

-Caramel

-A lot of trees are actually very safe to eat the bark and seeds of

-Sunflower seeds

-Also apparently if you boil it, you can eat bamboo as well and we have that in minecraft so we should eat it

-Many types of juices!! Some short examples would be carrot juice, melon juice, beetroot juice... etc.

-Kinda going off topic with this one, but I wanna gnaw on the bones we get from the skeletons, mojang let me eat the bones!!! You can make it so if you eat one it gives nausea cause it is actually unhealthy to eat bone as is and can make you seriously sick, but I wanna be a rabid fucking animal damn it and scare off the hoes. Side note here but you can also eat bonemeal and be okay to do so, so yeah that is also an option

Aaannd that's all of them for me, but if any of you have some ideas on what else to add do let me know, I probably missed alot of things

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

39 please and thank you!

Good Morning friend! 💜

39. Top 5 desserts.

Well since it's easter time, sweets are definitely on my mind so this was a good choice. I'll be eating almonds and chocolate eggs this week, but probably not any of my favourite desserts. Which is hard, I love desserts and sweets so narrowing it down to 5 is a challenge but let's see. In no particular order.

1.Baked Cheesecake. - I know this one is also called new york cheesecake which makes sense for me because that's where I first had it. I have distant family in Newark and it was on my trip there that I first tried it. Over the years I found it in random places as well and I've had it made for me a couple of times recently here. My mouth is watering as I type. I used to make the no bake cheesecake a lot but I don't have the patience for baking any more. And this one is just better.

2. Arroz Doce - So this one has it's origins in asia but I don't know exactly where our particular type originated from. Maybe someone here can help me. I guess you can call it sweet rice pudding or something similar, cause that seems to be the closest to ours. It's basically rice, milk and eggs, and topped with cinnamon. I prefer it creamy, but you can also get it closer to pudding consistency.

3. Lemon Meringue Pie - Specifically with a biscuit base. Another one I use to make a lot but it has been years. My bestie bakes it for me though so I get to eat it a lot.

4. Carrot Cake - with cream cheese frosting. Another one I can have everyday.

5. Any type of chocolate dessert. Chocolate cake, chocolate mousse, just all the chocolate. Gimme.

Also, all the ice cream. But that goes without saying. Thanks for the question!

Yet Another Random Ask Game

[lazyjellyfish300]

nanamelly༘♡ source: pinterest

And how we spent Christmas under the cut (with some help and inspiration from @mysteria157 for the beautiful fic she wrote me 🥹🥹):

Christmas Eve morning is slow as we savor every moment we can alone together before we expect company for the holiday. 💕

We feed our animals, stealing moments again behind the barn doors and brew some fresh coffee and enjoy leftover poppyseed muffins before we make the drive to the seaside village to pick up Kento's mother.

While we're in town, we drop off Christmas jam to the neighbors and give our holiday wishes before we head back to the farmhouse.

After his mom settles in, I start the holiday potpourri that I prepared ahead of time on the stove. His mom crochets, sitting at the bar because I told her to relax despite offering to help several times. She'll tell me all about Christmas memories past from Kento's childhood while Kento smokes the turkey outside. Sometimes she can't remember exact details, so when Kento comes inside between preparing the turkey for a cup of coffee, he'll fill in the gaps, turning a healthy shade of blush at times while I just giggle from the stove. 💕

After a turkey dinner with cranberry sauce, our famous candied yams, and mashed potatoes, we always watch It's a Wonderful Life and read The Night Before Christmas poem before bed while we stuff each other's stockings and do one early round of presents between him, his mom, and me.

Then, in the morning we'll give our animals their Christmas breakfasts which is usually some scraps from the previous night and juicy apples and carrots.

We'll have a Christmas quiche and French toast and open presents. Then it's calm before the storm with movies, peppermint hot chocolate, and an afternoon nap with Kento's mom passed out on the recliner, and Kento and I on the couch while the Christmas tunes are still going.

Eventually, all of our friends and family including Yuji, Megumi, Nobara, and Yaga arrive and it's a mad house but the farmhouse is cozy and festive while we all laugh together and catch up.

We enjoy shepherds pie for Christmas dinner along with homemade rolls, winter berry salad, and cheesy potatoes and all of our Christmas goodies for dessert including bread pudding and gingerbread cookies.

We all gather around and watch Yuji and Kento duke it out on the Super Nintendo while Megumi reads, Nobara and my best friend get a midnight round of cookies in the oven, and Yaga chats off the neighbors ears about garden tips. Kento's mother crochets, while her dog Franz goes to town on a new chew toy, and I watch the whole thing circled up in a blanket with a fresh cup and Kento's hand on my thigh. 💕

And then, when all of our guests are tucked in the beds, and it's just Kento and I by the fireplace, exchanging the final gifts, our gifts each other, which concludes with our own expression of gratitude to one another that burns long into the early morning hours until we fall asleep tangled up in one another. 💕

[faeritells]

king roberon cole welcomes  OZ DIGGS  to fabletown — or , as they were once known , THE WIZARD from  THE WIZARD OF OZ. before the magic mirror , they come glamoured in the mirage of  an endless abundance of verdant hues / the cold sharp stare at the end of the knife / a web weaved of parlor tricks and deceit. the tale from which they hail exalted their  CHARISMATIC  and  BOLD , but decried their  MANIPULATIVE  and  DECEITFUL  in equal measure. no matter ; this time , they shall write their own. in accordance with the fabletown compact , they are granted amnesty for any and all transgressions , even that which is little known :  he was once a true witch , but his magic was stripped of him by glinda's hand.

| ▊▏   rolling hills lined with vibrant red poppies , a verdant castle as if forged from pure emerald , the sly smile of the wily fox , the mask of a man who never shows his true face , blood soaked fingers , flashing neon signs , city streets engulfed in the sights and sounds of the night life , all you've ever done is play a part.

#PARTONE     .   .   .     GENERAL  INFORMATION.

name   oscar zoroaster isaac norman henkle emmanuel ambroise diggs.     nicknames  +  aliases   oz , the wizard of oz.     age   +   dob   forty5 in appearance , 80+ in actuality    ,    october  twenty5th.     titles   king of the emerald city ( formerly ).     birthplace   oz.     residence   the crooked mile.     gender  +  pronouns   cisgender  man    ,    he  /  him.     sexuality   bisexual.     spoken  languages   english , latin , some french.     faceclaim   milo ventimiglia.     hair   black , kept mid length and slicked back.     eyes   chocolate brown.     height   5'9".     build   athletic.     species   former witch.     tattoos   none.     piercings   none.     star  sign   scorpio.     deadly  sin   wrath.     heavenly  virtue   diligence.     occupation   proprietor of pudding + pie.     mother   lucretia diggs ( deceased ).     father   zoroaster diggs ( deceased ).     sibling(s)   ozma diggs ( sister ).     children   none.     significant  other   none.     extended  family   none.

#PARTTWO     .   .   .     DOSSIER.

I.     born in the emerald caste atop the greatest hill , just as the last of the red poppies succumb to the blight of first frost. the first son to the king and queen and celebrated across the kingdom , along with the eventual birth of his dear baby sister. a celebration less for the birth of the young diggs , but more for the prospect of the peace these heirs could , in theory , bring to the kingdom. lead by a vile man and his equally cruel wife , emerald city had fallen to ruin. the king and queen too cowardly to lose control of their throne cast their son away in hopes he would come back to lead their kingdom in their stead. as mutiny within the kingdom grew and the tyrannical leaders of oz met their end , the young prince returned.

II.     trapped in a far off land , separated from his home , status , and power. forced to fend for himself under the guise of a con man , a traveling magician for a cirque that only aided in both his desire to break the hearts of young lovers and empty the pockets of unsuspecting tourists. that is until the twister came , sweeping him up into the seemingly endless spiral and spitting him back out in his far too unfamiliar homeland. the prince had returned , but at what cost?

III.     with the king and queen dead , the prince rose to the throne. with his sister as his most trusted advisor and glinda as his guide , he navigated this world with relative ease , finding more and more appreciation for the power , both magical and political , he now possessed. determined to never be the poor street rat again , he clung to this power , reveled in it. the day he went to make glinda his queen , however , would be his last as a witch , as she cursed him with a spell that made him fall to his knees , finally shaking like a god - fearing man in her wake as she waltzed off with his magic tucked neatly within the emerald adorning her neck. that small farm girl from kansas would be glinda's undoing , he would see to that.

IV.     what else was a con man to do as his kingdom fell to ruin then to build a new empire? flashing lights and fake smiles had always been his specialty , which is why the pudding + pie had been such an obvious choice for the fallen king. he was nothing if not an actor playing a part on the stage he called a throne , presenting himself as the great and powerful wizard he could no longer be. the stage was his home , and he would rescue any wayward entertainers and make them his family.

V.     it was pg once , family friendly bullshit with the darker stuff lurking underneath , the scheming and the lying behind closed doors as brother and sister locked hands with every lowlife in fabletown , making deal after deal until his empire was born. pg no longer cuts it when sex sells , and thus his reputation began to grow.

VI.     he's a good boss , doting on his staff like any leader should. he sees the same thing in them that he sees in himself , a lost soul looking for something greater , just out of reach.

#PARTTHREE     .   .   .     WANTED  CONNECTIONS.

platonic     business partners , acquaintances , drinking buddies , friends. toxic     enemies , those who have wronged him or his staff , rivals , someone who either finds him lesser for his work or foolish for believing there may be a way to return home , glinda. familial     his sister , ozma. miscellaneous     his staff , frequent patrons.

[dwellerbytheashtreeforest]

Aaaaannnnd here's the rest! (For now)

KOTW INCORRECT QUOTES PT. 3!!! Everyone edition! Especially the brothers

Wrath: Dammit, Lust, you ruined everything!

Lust: You’re welcome.

Emilia: Vittoria, you're testifying in an aggravated assault case tomorrow, and the D.A. is worried about how you'll present yourself on the stand.

Vittoria: Why? I'm fine on the stand!

*flashback to Testimony #1*

Vittoria: Look, I'll make this real simple so even these dumdums can understand.

Vittoria, to the jury: MAN DID CRIME.

*flashback to Testimony #2*

Vittoria: I'm sorry, could you make her stop doing that weird thing with her face?

Defense Attorney, next to the crying defendant: ...Crying?

*flashback to Testimony #3*

Vittoria: And when this is over, I'm gonna find you and I'm gonna break those little fingers.

Judge: Could the witness please stop threatening the stenographer?

Wrath: Emilia, what are you doing?

Emilia: Making chocolate pudding.

Wrath: It's four in the morning, why are you making chocolate pudding?

Emilia: Because I've lost control of my life.

Emilia: Here's your pudding, Envy.

Envy: Oh that's okay, I'm not hungry anymore.

Pride: I warned you.

Pride: I'm perfect.

Envy: I’m 80% awesome 20% water and 100% handsome.

Wolf: That’s 200%.

Envy: I’m twice the man you’ll ever be.

Wrath: What does a winner do when life gives them lemons?

Anir: Um, make lemonade?

Wrath: No, they squeeze them right back into life’s eyes!

Anir: Am I in trouble?

Wrath: Take a guess.

Anir: No?

Wrath: Take another guess.

Literally anyone: What’s your body count?

Literally any of the demon princes: Do you mean sex or murder?

Emilia: I baked you a pie!

The witches: Really?! What flavor?

Emilia: *pulls [flame flowers] out of the pie* DEATH!

Sloth: I haven’t slept in 72 hours…

Gluttony: I haven’t slept in 80. I’m the insomnia king!

Envy: Ha! I haven’t slept in 90 hours, I’m aiming for an even 100.

Emilia: What the fuck is wrong with you people?

*the brothers are at a dinner party but someone has been murdered*

Greed: You’re acting pretty carefree for someone who’s life’s at stake. Who’s to say you aren’t the killer?

Pride: It’s a murder, not a tax audit. I’ll be fine.

Greed: What about Sloth? Nobody ever suspects Sloth

Sloth: Well what about Gluttony? He has a gun! [Ice rifle]

Gluttony: Wrath has [his dagger out]

Wrath: Yeah, for fun, not for [unnecessary] murder! *stabs Gluttony in the arm*

Vittoria: I think I mostly want to see what happens when this whole place breaks apart.

Pride: when I was married, you know what my wife always told me?

Wrath: stop [having dalliances] with other people? (I'm sorry I had to 😭)

Lennox to Envy: haha you should have seen your face you were like, "AAAAAA NOOOO BETRAYLLLLL"

Pride: WHY. why did you give Emilia a KNIFE?!

Wrath: I’m sorry [sarcasm, duh], she said she felt unsafe.

Pride: Now I feel unsafe!

Wrath: ... would you like a knife?

Envy: If you had to choose between Lennox and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?

Camilla: That depends, how much money are we taking about?

Lennox: Camilla!

Envy [who emptied his wallet prior]: 63 cents.

Camila: I'll take the money.

Lennox: CAMILLA!