#which turned into this
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Pete being sick with fever laying on Vegas' bed at the safehouse, Pete being delirious from it, Pete being asked to say more about himself by a curious Vegas who wants to find something to compare his worthless life to, to see if it could be any worse (to deflect, to escape), Pete resisting it until he can't, Pete telling Vegas stories of his past, of his younger self, of a scared boy thrown into the ring to fight, to win something he couldn't, Pete telling Vegas about his mother, the one he barely knew before she was taken from him, Pete telling Vegas about his father, about how he hit him when he lost and how he hit him when he won (those are the most difficult stories to tell), how different it felt, how unfair it was until it wasn't, until it was just something that happened, Pete telling Vegas how he got used to it, until he remembers he should twist the story somehow to make Vegas understand it's not his fault, because it's not Pete who sucks, it's his father who sucks, but he's sick with fever and he's tired, so the words are difficult to leave his mouth, Pete feeling shame and regret in sharing those hidden parts of himself, Vegas feeling shame and regret in pulling them out of Pete as if he's digging up a grave, but Pete gets worse before he gets better, and every night the cycle repeats.
#hello can you tell I've been reading Richard Siken's poetry lately?#I just remembered how the first poem of Crush has the title Scheherazade and it gave me thoughts#which turned into feelings#which turned into this#Pete trying to survive everyday at the safehouse by telling Vegas stories#stories which grant him more days of living#but is it worth it?#is it worth exposing parts of yourself to someone who will take advantage of them to hurt you in ways you won't be prepared for?#one could think#I would really like to write sth for this actually#but no promises I'm bad at those#kpanniversary2024#vegaspete#yu is writing
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"the pvp on this site is brutal" "this website's hatemail game is insane" you guys werent here from 2013-2016. they shot you if you reblogged from someone who reblogged from someone who liked kill la kill.
in fact i disabled reblogs on this post on november 14 2024 because i FUCKING HATE DREAM DADDY and im sick of seeing it in tags in my notifs.
#.din#.txt#vague memories of the last callout post i read. the pvp back then actually was insane.#some of you guys dont know that the hivliving situation was sparked by tumblr pvp. which turned into pve very quickly.#this post has been edited
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never let anyone tell you that trawling through mediocre victorian poetry isn't worth it. we just happened upon an absolute BANGER of a worm poem. go read it or else 🪱🪱🪱
#was calling beckett and scouring the works of eliza cook looking for lesbianism#good amounts of lesbianism in evidence but unfortunately very little in the way of good poetry#APART from this worm one which DOES NOT MISS#eliza cook#is there a thriving eliza cook tag on tumblr. somehow i doubt it#the hand of the giant and the heart of the brave / must turn weak and submit to the worm and the grave!#not an original theme ofc but GOD the treatment is delightful. so fresh so gleeful some rlly nice use of sound. rlly solidly constructed#words#gay belligerence
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If my mom sees a significant amount of blood she gets lightheaded, and has fainted on some occasions. Once it happened when we were kids, I wasn't there to witness it but I heard the story from my dad. Basically my brothers, around 7 or 8 at the time, were playing outside while my mom was making their lunch, and she accidentally cut her finger. It wasn't anything serious, but it drew a fair bit of blood and she passed out. My dad saw this and rushed over, but he didn't really know what to do so he just sort of started slapping her to wake her up (not recommended, but he had no idea and panicked)
At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.
Now our dad says that he's actually really glad they attacked him over what they thought was going on, because it means he raised good boys. And I still think that's true, they're very good boys.
#i think about this story sometimes like yeah I'm proud of them for that too actually. good job baby brothers#they're not babies anymore of course they're turning 20 next year which is crazy#but they're still the type of people who'd do something if they saw something of this sort happen for sure#respectful of women and everyone else too. they're good guys#I'm glad I ended up with them living in my house against my will for like 14 years#anyway i have no idea where i was for all this but my best guess is probably a friends house given the time period#i was always at my besties house lol#i hope she's doing well too actually. haven't spoken in forever...#bestie from greek elementary school... if you're out there... let's get muffins and fanta at the bakery across the street again someday 💜☮️
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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Charles, you can't just say stuff
#payneland#edwin x charles#dead boy detectives#dbda#unclear which ones are angels and which ones are devils#maybe they take turns#me drawing kisses isn't really common#this might be the best you get lol#also yay bitchy edwin
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Michael Afton is so fucking old in FNAF..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#michael afton#fnaf vanessa#fnaf vanny#security breach#you ever meet someone younger than you and it makes you turn to dust#this is what this comic is based off of that feeling#it’s just super funny and extreme in Michael’s case#cause he’s basically a zombie he doesn’t age normally#so perpetually looking like he’s in his 20s#but technically if Michael were ever able to meet vanesss in security breach era#he’s an old man dudes like 50 to 60 years old#which isn’t that crazy old but again he looks the same#so him hearing Vanessa wasn’t even born in the 90s#simply ages him rapidly kills him on the spot#he’s so relatable for this too I understand him
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dynamights favorite deku merch
#adooble art#dkbk#mha#izuku midoriya#bakugou katsuki#dekubaku#when you're jealous of your own merch#dea where bakusquad gives kacchan a dekuplush as a gag gift which turns into kacchans favorite pillow.#Insert izuku slowly losing his shit because HE is the og DEKU with hugs far superior that will certainly satisfy kacchan better
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IMPORTANT: TUMBLR HAS MADE A DEAL WITH MIDJOURNEY/OPENAI.
YOUR ART AND IMAGES ON TUMBLR ARE BEING USED TO TRAIN AI MODELS.
The opt-in is automatic, but you can turn it off in settings.
Go to "Blog Settings" -> "Visibility" -> "Third-Party Sharing" and turn on "Prevent third-party sharing for [blog]". (This post shows how to do it on browser and on mobile.) You need to do this with every sideblog. (Note: The option in settings might not appear if your app hasn't updated yet. You can still opt out via browser.)
Spread the word. Everyone on Tumblr needs to know about this.
#>> mod: firefly#edited for clarification & to add instructions for turning off on mobile#disclaimer: yes i'm putting this in the transformers tags. this is important and artists need to know their work is being stolen#my apologies for the non-earthspark post (again) but this is fucking insane#i am so unbelievably angry. fuck ai and fuck tumblr for doing this#earthspark#transformers earthspark#transformers#tfes#tfe#tf earthspark#maccadam#edit: holy hell i think this breached containment a bit#which is good; people need to know about this#but also wow my notifications 0.0
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ah......I might have priced myself out of a cool work opportunity. it's happened before - serious industry people come to me with projects that would take half a year of me working full time, and then I calculate my mortgage, my food, my various bills, add a sprinkle of profit on top so that I'm not just breaking even, and ask for that. and the response is always "wtf, you're insane!"
I don't like working in illustration. it's why I barely do any freelance anymore. my wrists are ruined, my back is ruined, and I have to make enough to keep living. I can't jump for crumbs anymore.
#I've turned down so much#and from LEGIT places too!#but I need to make at least minimum wage if I'm working full time. which is apparently a ridiculous ask in this industry
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WAIT when did he get FANGS
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#brushie brushie#i thought i was imagining it but i have compared screenshots and it is true#they gave him a bunch of new animations and just decided to throw some fangs in there too!#unless this is an earlier thing i just missed because i don't pay attention (very possible)#anyway i decided to do one last ten-pull and THERE HE WAS#and his personal story is SO unexpectedly cute oh my gosh#at any given moment crewel is thinking about how much he misses his dog(s)#it is CANON#canon like the fangs (why) (i'm not complaining i just want to KNOW)#get you a fandom where they randomly and with no explanation give a character fangs I GUESS#anyway thank you sensei for validating the mountain of keys i threw into the void for you#i'd assumed he'd duo with grim so it is unfortunate that it turned out to be with a card i don't have and will probably never get 🙃#but it is VERY funny actually that he duos with crowley so i'll forgive him#the only funnier character would be jack#OR NO WAIT actually leona#'which character would be the funniest to --' the answer is always. ALWAYS. leona
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spiraling
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#gojo satoru#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#the minute i realized how tg coded the composition n colours were i decided to turn it up to 11#i was racking my brain trying 2 figure out how to get the layered tissue paper look tht i talked abt ishida's cover art having#cycled through all my usual layer modes n nothing ws Quite right#until wouldnt u know it . divide n subtract!!!!! i NEVER use divide or subtract bc theyre impossible#but fr this??? its like they were made for it oh my god#it makes the greys look translucent n all my textures pop in a way that makes them appear splotchy n Bruised#which ws the whole point thts the Look god i am so PLEASED#when the layer modes tht notoriously get No love finally find their niche <33 peace and love <333#filing this away fr later i am going 2 have a lot of fun with this new information i think#im very happy w how the colours look n i dont think anything else wld have kept the right Mood#but i am always so >:/ when i have to use a palette tht forces me into giving megumi blue eyes#had to set aside th green eyed megu agenda fr the Aesthetic unfortunately#anyway i knew from the minute i saw it that i wanted to do smth involving the opening panel of 268#bc that panel is S tier#i figured tht if nothing came 2 me i wld just redraw it as-is bc it's alr so good but as i ws sketching i was like#u know what u havent done in a while? art tht looks like u r going Insane#art tht makes ur family ask whether everything is ok#so i once again tucked megumi's knees up 2 his chest and apologized insincerely to him fr making the third megumi angst piece in a row#:)
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Revenge :3 In which Season 10 (dbhc) Bdubs gets a new fit and one person is decidedly Not Very Normal about it + the original concept sketch :]
(Referencing this post!)
#art escapades#dbhc#hermitcraft#dbhc etho#dbhc bdubs#ethoslab#bdoubleo100#bdubs#hermitcraft au#dbhc art#dbhc s10#hermitcraft s10#the one where etho sighs in relief when bdubs turns around still really gets me#I couldn’t tell you where from but I think that specific expression was inspired from somewhere#snoopy comes to mind but I can’t find any sort of ref image that has that exact expression#it’s very silly to me though LOL#etho is so downbad#me too though I can’t blame either of them#bdubs knows he’s won though which is the important thing#SILLY BOYS!!!! I missed them :3
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The Allegiance of the Ascended Vampire and the New God of Magic
#bloodweave#baldur's gate 3#bg3#gale x astarion#astarion x gale#gale dekarios#astarion ancunin#yes this is about astarion helping gale defeat mystra and take her place with the crown in exchange for gale helping him with the ritual#the ‘they can make each other worse’ part of their relationship turned to the max#I enjoy them being reluctantly soft for each other more but from time to time I just think about how powerful they could get together#toxic evil boyfriends. take love and twist it up until it’s unrecognisable#I like to think that astarion approached gale with that offer after realising no one else in camp is gonna help him#and that he can use gales own hunger for power which backfired when astarion actually became emotionally invested in gale#and after gale kept his word despite everyone’s concerns astarion changed his plan from not fullfilling his end of the bargain to actually#helping gale kill mystra (mostly so that gale could belong to him and him alone. and letting him take the place as a god bc having a god#at you beck and call is definitely appealing. especially one as eager to please as gale)#anyway what I want to say with this is please please please let me kill mystra i don’t even care if the weave gets destroyed again
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having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!
there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.
#and before one of u is like '' i have no friends :(" i used to be there too actually#abusive partner cut me off from ALL of 'em. i didn't think i was lovable#it made me EXCEPTIONALLY shy. i still am actually!!!!#i just ... started saying ''yes.''#i would take pictures of flyers in my library and go to whatever events they had#i started taking community classes#if someone mentioned like ''i am gonna start x group'' i actually took a deep breath#and approached them to be like . okay i want in.#i started making the first move with new people - a small compliment#a smile or a little joke. just to share the space with them.#i have MASSIVE social anxiety. bad parent and bad relationship will do that to ya.#but i just... kept going. and going. and going. to each of these little things. and then...#like. .... idk i just am very blessed. i have a STUPID number of friends#a lot of which i reconnected with. bc it turns out love is never wasted. adult life just.#like. gets in the way. but also... i loved u as a weird little kid. i love u now as a weird big adult.#i promise i PROMISE ur friends are out there. u just have 2 find them. and btw#i didn't make friends with everyone. but i did get a lot of people to smile or laugh.#aint that something.#this process took me something like 2 years. it was HARD!!!!!!!!!!#i love u!!! hard things are often worth it!!!
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why aren't there more mysteries that take place in nursing homes & retirement communities. i want to watch a group of deranged retirees-cum-amateur-detectives combine their powers of:
decades of life experience
boredom-fueled busybody shamelessness
access to the most gossipy next-door-neighbors in existence
"I am too old to be arrested and/or give a shit" attitude
and solve crimes. this should be an enormous subgenre.
#their sidekick/Watson/pet hacker is a 15 year old grandkid who hangs out with gram gram on the weekends#her only power is that she has above average search engine skills and flexible knees#which is completely sufficient to round out the group's skill set#they involve her in heist style operations#on the rare occasion she gets caught housebreaking she explains her grandma locked herself out of the condo and asked for help getting in#then this sweet slightly addled old lady shows up and explains she got the address mixed up#it's so confusing when you're old & all the houses look alike and oh she's so sorry to have caused so much trouble#and meanwhile the teenager is rolling her eyes bc she's aware gram gram was a career criminal & con artist for 50 years#anyway gimme a 80-year-old con artist turned amateur sleuth who loves getting older because people are less suspicious of little old ladies#this all takes place in florida naturally
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