#which they stole.

[bossfight-messages]

PLOT STUFF WOOOO

There is no dialogue in this bc I'm bad at it </3. I also don't have that much practice writing so i'll put a summary in the tags if you don't wanna read :D

This is from the canon boss's pov. Not the other, bluer Boss.

also im fairly lazy and barely proofread this </33 forgivee meeee

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Boss hopped from the tree, landing safely down on the grass below. After a chase from a very pissed off goblin hoard, a nice long nap in the sun was beginning to feel more and more alluring.

That and a couple strawberries. They could really use some strawberries.

All that.. shit. Yeah shit was a good word. For a random gemstone that they didn't even know would work or not.

Boss sighed and sat back against the tree trunk. They dug around their pouch for a moment, before producing a book. One slightly wared down, the spine cracked a bit and the ink fading. It was thin, but very important right now.

The events of the last couple days played in their mind like a broken record.

They had woken up somewhere oddly.. cold. Boss tried to avoid colder areas, they were built for withstanding more humid climates after all.

So imagine their surprise when they woke up from what was supposed to be a short nap, in an Ice People fortress. Fun stuff.

It had taken a lot of confusion, explaining, whatever, to understand what was going on. Something about alternate realities, them replacing another version of themselves, yadda yadda.

The Ice People of this dimension were oddly... nice. Well, from Boss's standards. And they had only met their dimension's Ice People once, aside from small run-ins whilst trying to get the goddamned Ice Golems to actually work as intended in-game.

Whatever, the past was the past.

Then.. there was the gem.

Sharp a bright. Harsh reds and purples clashing and fighting over the surface of it, sometimes bugging and lagging. When they had touched it..

Boss's hand stuck to it they felt a weird, gross feeling wash over them. Like something was pulling out pieces of their coding, rearranging it, deleting, adding, scrambling, deleting adding scrambling deleting adding deleting deleting dele-

They stumbled back, landing on the ground, hard. Boss sat up, dazed.

Then they realized. The glitching had stopped.

It didn't take long to realize what it was, asking locals and piecing together what they could. Obviously even more of their questions were answered when they managed to steal some books on the subject.

They chose to ignore the odd looks they got whenever their.. antennae? Horns? Whatever they were, changed to question marks or interrobangs. Especially interrobangs. Guess the other them didn't have that little feature.

Boss opened the book to one of the pages, then broke a stick off the tree.

Annnnd now. Time for the good part. Fingers crossed it actually works.

they reached into their pouch and pulled out a different gem, shaped the same as the first one they had touched, but a solid color. A dark purple, it glowed softly in their hand.

Hopefully it actually did work, seeing as the goblins protected it so fiercely, and they would need to summon a lighting demon to power the damned thing.

They sighed and placed it down on the ground, grabbed their stick, and got to work.

[inkskinned]

the thing about some men is that they want you to remember, at all times, that you are underneath them. that with one word or look or "joke", you will stay beneath them. that even "exceptions" to the rule are not true exceptions - the commonly cited statistic that one in eight men believe they could win against serena williams.

women's gymnastics is often not seen as real gymnastics. whatever the fuck non-euclidian horrors rhythmic gymnasts are capable of, it's often tamped down as being not a sport. some of the most dominant athletes in the world are women. nobody watches women's soccer. despite years of dancing and being built like a fucking brick, men always assume they're faster and stronger than i am. you wouldn't like what happens when they are incorrect. once while drunk at a guy's house i won a held-plank challenge by a solid minute. the party was over after that - he became exceedingly violent.

what i mean is that you can be perfect, and they still think you're ... lacking, somehow. i hope you understand i'm trying to express a neutral statement when i say: taylor swift was the possibly the most patriarchy-palatable, straight-down-the-line woman we could churn out. she is white, conventionally attractive, usually pretty mild in personality. say what you will about her (and you should, she's a billionaire, she can handle it), but a few things seem to be true about her: 1. she can write a damn catchy song, and 2. the eras tour truly was a massive commercial success and was also genuinely an impressive feat of human athleticism and performance.

i don't know if she deserves the title of "woman of the year," i'm not debating that in this post. what i am saying is that she was named Woman of The Year, and then an untalented man got onstage at the golden globes and made fun of her for attending her boyfriend's football games. what i am saying is that this woman altered local economies - and her dating life is still being made into a "harmless" punchline. the camera panned, greedy, over to her downing a full glass of champagne. congratulations taylor! you are woman of the year! but you are a woman. even her.

fuck, man. write better material.

a guy gets onstage at a college graduation and despite the fact like half the crowd is made up of women, he spends a significant proportion of it warning these people - who spent possibly hundreds of thousands of dollars on their education - that they were lied to. that the "real" meaning of femininity is motherhood. that they shouldn't rest on the laurels of that education-they-paid-for but instead throw it away to kneel at a man's heel. imagine that. sweating in your godawful polyester gown (that you also had to pay for!), fresh out of 4 years of pushing yourself ever-harder: and some guy you've never met - who knows nothing about you - he reminds you this "win" is a pyrrhic one at best. you really shouldn't consider yourself that extraordinary. you're still a woman, even after years of study.

god forbid you are not a pretty woman, but if you are pretty, you must be dumb. god forbid you are not ablebodied or white or cis or straight or good at swallowing. you must be beneath a man, or else they are not a man. the equation for masculinity seems to just be: that which is not a woman or womanly (god forbid). anything "feminine" is thereby anathema. to engage in "feminine" things such as therapy, getting a hug from a friend, or crying - it is giving up ones manhood. therefore women need to be put in their place to ensure that masculinity is protected.

this is something i have struggled to explain to terfs - they are not doing the work of feminism, but rather the patriarchy. by asserting that women and men must be (on some secret level) oppositional and in conflict, they also assume that being a woman is akin to being another species. but bigotry does not stem from observational truths or clarity - that is what makes it bigotry. there was nothing in my childhood that made me fundamentally different from my brother. we are treated differently nonetheless. to assert there is some biological drive that enforces my gender role is to assert that women have a gendered role. men do not see women as equal to them not because of biological reality - but instead because the core tenant of the patriarchy is that women aren't full, realized people.

we are told from a very young age to excuse misbehavior as a single man's choice - not all men. it is not all men, just that one guy. all women are gold-digging bitches who belong in the kitchen - but if a man is mean, bigoted, or violent to you, it's just that particular guy, and that means nothing about men-as-a-whole. it is only one guy who got mad when you gently rejected him. it is only one guy who warns her this trophy is heavy, are you sure you can hold it? it is only one guy who smashes her face into the cake. it is only one guy talking into a mic about hating our bodily autonomy.

i have just found that they often wait until the moment we actually seem to be upstaging them. you sit in a meeting where you're presenting your own findings and he says get me a coffee? or you run to the end of the marathon and are about to finish first and he pushes your kids out in front of you. you win the chess game and they make some comment akin to well, you're ugly away. we can be the billionaire and get the dream life and finally fucking do it and yet! still! they have this strange, visceral urge to say well actually, if you think you're so great -

it's not one just one guy. it's one in eight.

[centralpark1981]

[stil-lindigo]

the fox god.

a comic about a trickster.

--

creative notes:

–

all my other comics

store

[chiptrillino-art]

In the Spirit World, roughly 400 years ago.

When you are just a little blue guy. But the greater gods found a liking in you. And then you ended up as chewtoy for Koh.

Spirit shenanegans at their finest.

[hinamie]

completely innocuous vash sheet :) fr practice

[molsquinn]

[dcxdpdabbles]

I love your writing so much it’s really inspiring and fun to read so I really want to see your take on this post https://www.tumblr.com/hello-eden/753339474169282560/phantom-is-ras?source=share and this post I love your writing so much it’s really inspiring and fun to read so I really want to see your take on this post https://www.tumblr.com/new-revenant/753407674944831488/i-had-a-crack-idea-of-since-danny-likes-to-do-time?source=share I think it’s going to be really funny to read

I like the second more, so I'll do that one.

The Justice League attempts to summon the Ghost King to establish a diplomatic truce. If things go well, then they will have a good ally in case they ever get into a fight they can't possibly hope to beat.

Things were looking good. They had gathered all the needed materials that had been scattered across the globe, had found the correct summoning ritual, and had Justice Leauge Dark go through with the summons.

Now, usually the, Justice Leauge had plenty of people who could handle diplomatic missions- Diana and Arthur were royalty raised to missions of these natures- but they weren't sure what to expect from the King of Ghost.

According to John Constantine, the king would expect a gift of some kind, but it had to have a significant emotional attachment. Ghosts, or citizens of the Infinite Realms, were beings of emotions, and gifting one something with deep sentimental value would be far more impressive than any amount of gold.

It also had to be the "first" of something to not offend the King.

Diplomatic missions were usually reserved for the more level-head members, but this particular one needed someone with lots of emotions who would be able to keep things from escalating. It was a rather challenging order.

It was ultimately decided that everyone of the original founding members would be present and would each offer a gift. Whoever impressed the Ghost King the most would become their go between.

The day of the summon arrived, and each member held their sacrifice—no matter what John claimed, it felt like a sacrifice—as the portal grew and expanded in an eerie green glow.

Clark had the first tool box set his father gave him.

Diana had her first set of daggers before her sword training.

Bruce had the first drawings of each of his kids made for him.

Barry had the keys of his first car, that he worked on with his dad.

J'onn had the perfect smooth rock he found on Earth when he first arrived.

Arthur had the first seashell bestowed to him by his nanny.

Oliver brought in a picture of him and his first-ever friend (Bruce pretend not to be touched)

Finally, Hal brought along the number pin for his first fighter plane.

John and Zatanna didn't bring anything as neither wanted to be made into contracts bridges with the King. They would do the summons then blend into the background as the King selected the gift.

When the summons connected, the portal flared out a burst of power and sucked it back in just in time for the sound wave to boom in the room. A few of the heroes had flinched at the burst while others stumbled but everyone was quick to straighten as the King flouted through.

In a simultaneous kneel, everyone offers up their items to the flouting figure. They each stand inside a circle that indicates they are making an offering. No one dares to speak, waiting for the King to review the items, eyes downcast.

The King flouts by each circle, slowly looping through the room. A few members's can catch glimps of his flouting feet as he comes near them, stops before them, turning to face each member before moving on.

The room feels heavy, the silence suffocating until the King speaks. "Oh, thank all the Ancients that it's not the crazy stalker."

Who, they wonder, but no one dares more or speaks as the King floats around the lineup again. He chuckles at Diana's, Hal's, and J'onn's offerings. He coos at Bruce's, Barry's, Arthur's, and Clark's, but the one he ends up choosing is Oliver's.

Choose is a....close enough word anyway.

"Wait, I know him!" the Ghost King exclaims, ripping the photo out of Oliver's hand and sealing the contract. The heroes slowly rise to their feet, Bruce hiding his kid's drawings in cape as fast as he can just in case the King changes his mind.

He really doesn't want to give them up.

"That's the Stalker's grandkid!" The King growls flipping the image around to the startled archer. "How are you connected to the Stalker?"

"I'm not sure who this stalker is, your Highness." Oliver hesitates, watching the king's glowing green eyes turn just slightly darker. "If you explain I wouldn't be opposded to helping you-"

"-get rid of him!?" The King gasp, slapping a hand on his forhead. "Why didn't I think of that? Okay, Oliver Queen, I shall complete a contract with you as long as you get rid of my stalker. He's been following me for years, sending me creepy love letters and just basiclly not dying like a good little human. "

He waves his hand, and an image appears above the heads of the heroes. Bruce's eye twitches when a long-time headache appears, making rather odd smothers to the air- likely taken from the King's memory. "This guy started following me around four hundred and twenty years ago. He even bothers humans who happen to look me- examlple A-"

Bruce's eye twitch grows to face spam as Tim's smiling face appears next to the first image. The King doesn't notice, staring Oliver down with an intense sort of craze look in his eyes. "-and frankly I'm getting tired of it. Do we have a deal?"

Oliver considers the flouting image of Ra's Al Ghul, mildly disturbed by the smolder before he reaches to take the King's hand. The moment their hand interlock green flames burst around their linked fingers, and the King's human-like features melt away to sharp teeth, black eyes, and pointy face structer that does not look human at all.

"A soul for a goal. The seal is made. The Bridge was built. Live with the power of the King, but die with the soul of a man, Oliver Queen." The King chanted in various overlapping voices, coming from every direction at once before poofing out of existence. Oliver rips his hand back towards himself, feeling cold to his bones. The green flames float up into the air, transforming into a box.

It lands with an innocent thump in the stun room, as the King's normal voice rings out. "Thanks for the help! I'm excited to be free of the Stalker! You'll find important information about how to get the Stalker to die in the box and other proof of his creepiness. You have a year."

No one moves for ten minutes before John lights up a cigarette, his voice rough with fear and annoyance. "This is why I don't deal with someone of that power level. You'd better make sure you come through with your side of the bargain. Once heard that Lord Clockwork asked a cult to stop sending him wives, and they sent him husbands instead of listening to the fact that he didn't like virgin sacrifices. He removed the village where the cult originated from the timeline and threw them in the Infinite Realms, trapping them forever in the Middle Ages. Even cursed their princess to turn into a dragon for throwing fits when she was the one to recommend sacrificing other girls."

The Justice League glance at each other before Bruce sighs, "I can call my kids. They always wanted to kill Ra's. Especially Tim."

Oliver stares at his hand, watching the fire slowly disappear. "I don't feel safe...."

[gayafsowhat]

Eepy hours

[cannimochi]

A plethora of parkcivi doodles regarding my receptionis au

Emf practicing his brewing stand jumps while seawatt is tempted to pull on his tail is my favorite idea actually ty @mbirnsings-71

[math-memes]

[maybelsart]

Stole

[grogumaximus]

Max: I'm getting dominated. No not in the sim scenario. wait What?

[luddlestons]

when you're 'just a little guy'-sized, you can be a clothes thief with every single person you date. they can't even do it back. it's the perfect crime.

(sometimes i like to relax while thinking about a modern au where Will is alive and Orym has a husband AND two boyfriends.)

[skymantle]

what does it all mean.

[molabuddy]

they call me the springfest screenshotter :]