#which sucks!
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Lights Out! Frank & Wally get very close once Frank fully wakes up. he adjusts to his new reality (and Wally's changes) surprisingly quickly
#for a while all they have is each other </3#which sucks!#at least frank can take over committing the Violent Acts that wally hates doing#gotta protect your friends from the Things In The Dark somehow#scribble salad#welcome home#welcome home au#wh lights out au
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I think Ventrues are a fun horror concept and should be more than just bland, evil white men in suits. However they are often bland, evil white men in suits.
#i don't blame any given vtm story for it#but I do think the flagship bland-whiteboy-in-chief is a pretty solid example of what the clan ventrue has too much of#clan opinions#ventrue opinions#I know the 'opinions' term looks idk presumptuous?#but it is in fact just that these are my opinions and this is my blog#where my opinions are#and blacklisting my thoughts on given bits of vtm canon is a useful thing to have because too few people use the tag system#which sucks!#I hate seeing shit I don't want to which hasn't been tagged somehow
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i restarted my animal crossing island. hoping it will take my mind off this excruciating heat
#typically i’m always in more pain in the winter cause of the cold#but this is actually worse#if u face fibro u know the sweatiness we have to deal with anyway#but in this heat omgg#i’m losing as much water as i’m taking in basically lol#and all my muscles are screaming#and my joints are swollen#:(((#ps my island is called lost woods#i wanted to call it huckleberry but it’s over the letter limit#which Sucks!
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yet again they are ruining my life
in alice's minisode, reko uses music as a coping mechanism. she uses it to regulate herself (particularly after alice upset her.) (seen below)
but after alice's arrest, she couldn't. alice UPSET her again and yet she couldn't cope the way she normally does because it just felt wrong (ignore weird formatting on this i took the screenshot from the wiki)
music is such a huge part of reko, but its also something she shared with alice. it was their thing, even if she was always better at it. and then when alice was gone, her love for music was gone too. because what was even the point? music is such a huge part of their relationship and such a huge symbol throughout; with the bongos, with the piano, with the band, with everything. god i need her to survive an ending of yttd and go back to making music she deserves it.
#yttd#yttd analysis#yttd spoilers#reko yabusame#yabusames#her entire personal info segment about her family breaks me everytime i see it#and it also hurts because im like 99% sure you cant buy her personal info if you ALSO help alice with the bongos.#which sucks!#rambles
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Literally just calling anything "genocide" now, aren't we?
#a homeless camp was cleared in my city#which sucks!#but this one was done with a lot of community organizer and social worker support#and had no violence#and people were accusing the mayor (who does suck) of genocide#and by all means accuse him of being hapless and not having a plan#even cruel#but genocide?
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at the office bc working in my apartment is no longer viable
#the floor is extremely mcfucked so I can’t work at my reg desk anymore#and working from my art desk is not ideal and uncomfortable#idk whenever I work from home my productivity is absolute shit#which sucks!
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All that said: congratulations to Oscar on his first win. And McLaren 1-2.
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i hope this will make you happy: gonna finish the anime i'm on rn and start cherry magic :D your gifset reblogging has convinced me
THIS IS SO CUTE!!! Thank you so much for sending this, Anon!!
I just hope my excessive reblogging of the gifsets hasn't spoiled too much for you! I really hope you enjoy it!!!
Please let me know when you finish it and what you thought of it! I'm curious to hear your thoughts!! <3
#Replies#Anonymous#This really cheered me up cuz I've had a shitty few days...#I've worked really long days the past two weeks because a colleague was on leave#+ the past 7 months another colleague has been out with burnout so I've had to cover for her#Which means I often had to work 6/7 days every week (unless I took time off which wasn't always possible)#And now I had 4 days off because of a holiday and all#And I've been stuck with my shoulder/neck area completely blocked and inflammed from stress and fatigue and all#So I've hardly slept the past 3 days because it's been so painful#I can hardly move my head without it hurting#And it's so exhausting#Like... I've been looking forward to these days off and I can't do anything because I'm in too much pain and am too tired#Which sucks!#(ex: was supposed to go to a con today but I cancelled because I physically can't go and I was really looking forward to it...)#ANYWAY sorry to go on a bit of a rant#all this to say:#THANK YOU ANON YOUR MESSAGE REALLY CHEERED ME UP :')
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I've adopted the unknown into my personal canon except the unknown is actually just all the other people who live in my head. they're just freaky shadow guys who live in the walls of my chocolate factory now.
#this is a joke! I love my headmates!#even when the actively try to suppress me.#which sucks!#pluralgang#actually plural#plural system
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I have had these thoughts bubbling away in my head for like...eighteen months or so now (it will become very obvious why shortly) but the discussion in this post has pushed me to write them down: I think societally we HUGELY underestimate how motherhood for primary caregivers, particularly first-time motherhood, can be a source of vulnerability to radicalisation.
There is obviously huge cultural variance here, but for a lot of cis women becoming primary caregiver to an infant in a capitalist Western society represents a time of immense vulnerability because in general you are:
Incredibly sleep-deprived (which has well-documented knock-on effects for your judgement, mental health, etc)
If you gave birth, recovering from a significant challenge to your physical health (even in the best-case scenario)
Isolated from your previous networks and communities of people in full-time work
Completely separated from the context of your prior career goals and achievements
Under huge amounts of stress to learn how to care for an infant (don't get me started on breastfeeding)
And on top of this, you are also be experiencing a huge amount of messaging about how all this is natural, wonderful, something you're meant to do, something you should love doing, and something that you must do for the welfare of their child. It's a huge amount of pressure and life change even when everything goes right and there's very little cultural space to express negative feelings about it.
Any group of people who offer community, support, and affirmation to cis women in this situation are going to have a really good shot at radicalising them into some very weird and dangerous headspaces and in fact we see this happen all the time - think antivaxxers and TERFs. It flies under the radar because of the hazy positive glow that associates with motherhood and babies and also because we don't take the radicalisation of women seriously I guess because they rarely shoot anybody, but...yeah. It is such a vulnerable time!
#people who do not see themselves in the cishetero stereotype#are obviously going to have some separation from this & therefore protection#full confession: obviously in the last year and a half I have done a LOT of midnight Googling about Baby Things#and you know what. very often the top hits are Mumsnet forum threads#which...often contain useful and sympathetic advice#I can so easily see how people get sucked into that#they're not getting people with TERFy shit they're getting them with 'tips for getting your four month old to nap better'#which is the MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD when your kid is four months old#and then the TERFy nonsense presumably comes later#because that's how radicalisation works
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love the amount of posts im seeing abt Cas' interests and moving them away from common fanon interpretation
#vinny types#its giving me a lot of fun ideas for my upcoming fic#not that fanon interp is always bad it's just refreshing to see some new ideas#that and i do think of the three Cas is usually the easiest to mischaracterize#do i think bee keeper Cas is a misreading of what canon was intending with that motif? yes#am i going to keep it for my pd au? ...yes#listen i don't think it's the worst misinterp in the world + it blends pd and spn canon together well + i have fun plans with it#it is tough tho bc since the show itself has winchester derangement syndrome we really dont get to see a lot of what characters are like#or up to or interested in outside of whats relevant to the current storyline/relevant to the brothers#which sucks!#like i totally understand fandom kind of clinging onto this idea of Cas liking bees bc. well. we dont see a lot of other things he likes#and once again in the same way Cas is usually mocked by the show for not being archetypically masculine and not understanding social contex#i feel like him enjoying trash tv is in many ways kind of the butt of that same joke in canon#not that it means that's not an interesting trait of his! I quite like it
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well….it finally happened
#rip rt#the good times were certainly good <3#rt#roosterteeth#rooster teeth#honestly this is how i’m finding out it was officialy rooster teeth and not one word#if anyone doesn’t read the article but reads my tags (??) it looks like only the podcasts are carrying on for the time being#they’re shopping around rwby and shows like that and the roost which is the podcast side of things but otherwise#also apparently there’ll be a stream on the rt site tomorrow talking about it if anyone is interested#idk this sucks#be good to the people who were still there they deserve it#warner media on the other hand…..rot <3
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staff still hasn't given me polls, what should i do?
🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their moms 69%
🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their dads 31%
grace image os i get to look at her
#edit: edited the og post to what i want but to set the record straight i edited to the post to be mathematically correct right after the#first person pointed it out which was like ten mins after i posted the og post. now fuck offf !!!!! the rest of the tags r from the og post#for some reason i feel very immature making your mom jokes about tumblr staff. which i shldnt !!#bc they suck nd they still havent given me polls. but i ig i feel imature bc it a your mom joke 😭 but still i tihnk its kinda funny#EDIT: edited the post to what i want bc yall were getting annoying . but to set the record straight i edited to post to be mathematically#also its *mum* not mom okay i am NOT !! an american . but if i say mum everyone will j be like 'omg british' like i dont know i am#anyway. i want polls please. give me the rigght to force my mutuals chose between the most inane things#also i tihnk it wld b cool for the cs weekly blog. like w each episode#i cld do a poll of like. out of five stars what do u think of this ep#and it wld b a cool thing of which eps r ppls faves#also i cld have like. whose ur fave in team red whos ur fave in acme etc#id prob just have to go with vile faculty bc theres more than 10 ppl in vile. and ppl wld kill me if i didnt include nel the ell or whoever#it wld b fun !!!#oh btw csweekly thats i thing i want to start. prob on uhhh the 11th of feb ill post abt it more but its basically#a tag/blog for watching cs one ep a time watching one ep every saturday#ya !! :3#flappy rambles#inaccessible#ask to tag#(<- idk. just in case)
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this year I will become a powerful lesbian
#by the way this post is honestly kinda stressing me out because I'm trans and not everyone thinks m->f trans people can be lesbians so I'm#kinda nervous I may attract some hate from this which really sucks
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having to rebuild self confidence is the most arduous task for someone who’s just a teenage girl
#tw for like. self deprecating thoughts ig#but i spent so long trying to convince myself i would only be attractive if i changed things about myself#lost weight not wear my hair naturally etc#that i started to hate how i looked most of the time#which sucks!#but i’ve been trying really hard to just accept my appearance for like how it is#and it’s hard but i feel so much better all the time#it’s more fun to live and wear clothes when you don’t feel the need to criticize yourself endlessly#ok i’m done but these are my hastag road-trip thoughts
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
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