#which sometimes means…it doesnt happen… | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sunlightfeeling · 1 year ago

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insomnia is so funny like what do you mean we aren’t tired at typical sleep hour per circadian rhythm

also:

🙍🏻‍♀️ (me): “I’m pretty tired. Should probably fall asleep now.”

🧠 (Brain): “Yep! That’s a good idea.”

30 minutes later

🙍🏻‍♀️: “Hey, brain…we’ve been closing our eyes and getting really comfy…so I think we’re ready to sleep. Do you mind shutting down for the night? All those thoughts running around are kind of making it hard to sleep.”

🧠: “Sorry, boss! On it! Shutting downnn~”

1 hour later

🙍🏻‍♀️: “Hey, uh…you…were lying when you said you were shutting down, weren’t you?”

🧠: “Duh. That’s what the tilde was for.”

🙍🏻‍♀️: “But…I…we…it…how is someone supposed to hear a fucking tilde?”

🧠: “lol beats me”

and then we eventually fall asleep for only…4…ish hours…if that…

#it is SO rare that i actually get good sleep anymore #like if its not having trouble falling asleep…#…its waking up randomly in the middle of the night usually up to 6 hours or so before i actually should be waking up…#and then its either extremely easy (rare) or difficult to fall back asleep #which sometimes means…it doesnt happen…#also i do have medicine but 1) i forget but also 2) i usually am ACTUALLY tired so i dont think ill need it which lol…what a lie…#…and then its too late to take it because its like midnight or so which is why waking up in the middle of the night is worse #ramblin but not a gamblin man #sleep #actually adhd #actually autism #actually audhd #because my sleep problems are from these two lovelies so maybe others can relate?#adhd #autism #audhd

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lunarharp · 3 months ago

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played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles

#dragon age tag #i doubt that will see much use again..but who knows. vvv rambling below #weird game..the characters dialogue stuff and ending were good tho :')#i've played some of the first game but it kept crashing. i knew already despite knowing nothing that this guy was going to be my type #it doesnt feel right making video game art any more bc games like this end up feeling really personal - an experience that happened to me #if i design the main character a bit and fall in love then..that happened to me..i can't make Fan Art of that..only ive been through that..#like i cant make fanart of my dear companions in bg3 despite it having been a huge part of my heart in the last year #almost 1000 hours of playtime in something i can barely talk about bc it means too much.... lol #tons of ideas and conversations and extra thoughts and scenes and emotions about all the incredible times i've been through in bg3 #and the maelstrom just rotates around intensely in my own heart forever...but that's ok too...that is so precious to me #but fortunately i already knew people that have played this game and talked/drew abt it recently so it was saved from that for me #sharing scribbly fanart on my Blog is a way to capture the feeling just after experiencing something so it has good points #witch hat atelier escapes that by not being a GAME. games are so immersive. but my wha art & feelings are incredibly immersive too #which makes it difficult sometimes now. i live a complicated and emotional life <3 i am not suited to fandom <3 #my character ended up looking so much like oru without me realising that's what i was doing. Kind bearded fireball throwing gay mage. Hmm.#falling for a sad white hair memory trauma fellow that keeps you at a tragic distance. Hmmmmmm.#i see also how very much bg3 is inspired by stuff like dragon age now lol so i'm glad i experienced it. I WANT MY KIRKWALL LIFE BACK...#so dated though as well and unpleasant at times (the city and the dismal atmosphere was depressing.) i hate violence/horror..#bg3 is SOOOO very dismal but it feels like I am killing people and going through horrors because i have to survive i have to be free #Well anyway. ahh it's so refreshing to fall in love. my gay journey continues...

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aelinfireheartgalathynius · 8 months ago

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As an elder SJM fan (I've been reading her books as they came out since TOG) I would like to let the wider fandom know that every time a new SJM book comes out, including fan-favorites, a vocal part of the online fandom talks about how her writing is getting worse, the book was disappointing, the characters were all wrong, etc. Every single time, without fail.

#oftentimes the negative part of this fandom is LOUD so i wanted to say this #sometimes it makes you feel stupid or bad for enjoying a book #which shouldnt be a part of fandom or of reading in general #and liking something other people dont doesnt mean you have bad taste #it means you and them have differing tastes and thats normal #it really did happen with every book #including ACOMAF and HOF and QOS and EOS etc #sarah j maas #sjm #acotar #tog #hofas #hoeab #hosab #crescent city #fandom #mine

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sonknuxadow · 1 year ago

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sorry i dont really like the shadow is silvers dad theory/headcanon/whatever and part of the reason for it is that people keep presenting it as an actual thing that could be possible even though it makes no sense and all "evidence" people use to back it up is easily disputed

#''they both have white chest fur'' okay ? there are so many other characters who have small physical traits in common #doesnt mean they have to be related #''shadow and silver are lancelot and galahad in sonic and the black knight'' okay and .#im sure there might be SOME meaning to the character choices in the storybook games but i highly doubt their lives are 1 to 1 parallels #or that the character choices are meant to imply anything about the characters that we dont already know #plus amy was nimue and nobody tries to argue that shadow and amy are related because of that?#also im aware that a lot of dad shadow stuff takes place in the future when silver is a baby and shadow has still been alive for a long tim #(which. how would that even work wasnt shadow in stasis again in the future)#but sometimes i see people do it with like present day shadow being a father figure to the silver who time traveled there ?#thats like the horrible combination of people infantilizing silver in a way they dont do with other characters his age or younger #and people pretending shadow is an adult when he isnt . what #also i dont get why people insist that if shadow is silver's dad then the other parent MUST be someone from the existing cast #like . silver is not from a few decades into the future hes from 200 years into the future #none of the characters youre saying shadow is gonna get with are gonna be living that long im sorry to say #and why does silver HAVE to be the child of a couple in the existing cast why cant he just be some random guy #and im not saying every au idea has to perfectly align with canon #but a lot of the people who think shadow is silvers dad arent presenting it as a fun little baseless headcanon #theyre presenting it as an actual plausible theory . when it really isnt .#also ive noticed one of the most common pairings for silvers parents is sonic and shadow .#sorry but that is just not happening i feel so strongly about sonic never wanting to get married or have kids #i think shadow being an older brother figure to silver could be cute .#and the idea of a timeline where shadow doesnt die or get put into stasis or whatever the hell and is still around in silvers time #could be interesting . but im not really on board with the dad thing

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minggurie · 10 months ago

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loving doctor slump sooo much actually. looove when two depressed burnt-out down-in-the-dumps people come together to maximise their joint slay

#doctor slump #kdrama #actually think its such a realistic portrayal of depression and what happens when you tell people around you that youre depressed #the moms reaction - well meaning trying to “cheer her up” which absolutely doesnt help #vs the friend whos like “oh everyones a lil bit depressed”#no matter how much they love you #both are reactions ive had too when ive told ppl im clinically depressed lol #no matter how much they love you sometimes ppl just do not get it #so yeah luuuv this show so much already #also park hyungsik my beloved my dearest my sweetest bbygirl

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eggbagelz · 1 year ago

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gale voice here feel the pulse of the magic in my heart that will eventually be the end of me. im on my knees before you like an animal showing its belly. im in excrutiating pain bc of the contact with the magic in my heart but please dont take your hand away please dont stop touching me

#gale of waterdeep #paydja plays baldur's gate #the relationship a lot of the companions have with their bodies is fucking fascinating #but gale and karlach's relation to their heart and to human contact is particularly compelling #i cant say who has it worse bc thats a stupid comparison to make when they both have hearts that could literally detonate at any moment #[ik that karlach cant do human contact at all and gale cant but im talking abt emotionally significant contact which is smth they share]#but rn im focusing on gale ill talk abt karlach later #hes so interesting like hes initially played as arrogant but i think that whole thing with mystra #really fucked him up bc he talks abt himself like hes. not a means to an end per se but u get the gist #you can see the way he talks abt sense and sensuality and emotional connection but as soon as you actually offer it via flirting or just #genuine compliments hes always surprised and always changes the subject #partially out of like. emotiona damage and partially bc he doesnt want to go boom #ANYWAY WHAT IM SAYING IS hes in pain bc of the contact being made with the magic that makes up his heart but #by god please dont take your hand away. please dont stop touching him. please #i hate this fucking game i hate it so much #chattering #sorry for the analysis it WILL happen again #im talking abt gale rn bc hes my favourite and currently the character i know the most about via gameplay #but there is PLENTY i can say abt everyone #god i keep saying this but its like why are you so good sometimes and also so bad. fucking Larian.

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termagax · 3 months ago

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re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.

#HES MY PRINCESS IDEK.#i dont think it happens naturally all that much because theyre usually in the business of calling each other names and being mean #so i think this would just be a random night where theyre on top and just think it would be really funny. to yank on his leash and call him #a good girl after bullying him into doing something. and well i just think it would get him is all i dont knowwwwwwwwwwwwww #i havr a lot of thoughts on the matter but i will stop for now #but the tldr is that with each other they tend to switch frequently and are always fighting #so i think itd take someone else being in the picture for hog to even realize how much he likes being a good boy :3 #and i also dont think fish would be good at straightforward domming in the way he would want and they both know that #so its something he keeps between him and rat mostly. please dont ask me questions abt jrs sex life i have too many opinions on it #anyways. i think even tho fish knows theyd be bad at that they still feel left out so sometimes they go watch. they dont get anything out of #doing that theyre just sort of taking mental notes #all of this circles back to i think fish has always been the more sexually experienced of the two. and romantically.#i dont rlly think hog is a guy who dates i dont think hes ever been that and i dont think he made much time for hookups #(i think its cute if hes a virgin when they meet but 🤷 im not solid on it)#but i think for him hes just only ever fucked this one person and they do a LOT of stuff and it gets the job done so hes just never really #tried anything else. but. and again i have too many opinions on this but i think rat wouldnt be into their usual shteeze #i think hes a bit of a freak in his own way but the blood and weird anger issues is just not doing it for him most of the time #but i do think if given the opportunity he would LOVE to be The Boss for a little bit so i think he and hog can explore that together and it #will work out beautifully for them. this is great because i am not into strict d/s dynamics like that but i know in my heart that hoggy #would be. and i cant do that for him #again i think fish would be butthurt about this. mostly in a 'why didnt u tell me so we could try this :(' and he would go #'because you would suck at it and wouldnt like it' and they go oh. right. well im still mad #ANYWAYS. circling back. i think the good girl thing would be something fish knows that rat doesnt. and idk if theyd tell him or not #because i do think if they tell him he is using that for evil hog is going to be a good girl forever and ever. rat doesnt have the patience #to space it out the way fish does. which idk maybe thatd be good for hog he could work through some stuff...#but on the other hand i think its fun if they DONT tell him and just bust it out sometime when all 3 of them are doing the deed. or whatever #because again they mostly like how embarrassed he gets about it and i think he would be reallyyyy flustered by it #^ this is essentially part of my fantasy about spitroasting my beautiful wife until he cries just so everyone knows #idk i just think when he lets go of himself hed be a very cute and kind of needy subby bottom and i think hed be really easy to fluster #about it and i want it so bad

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erisolkat · 3 months ago

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god i hate everyone

#who thought it would be cute to immediately start ribbing me about how hairy and bald and ugly im gonna be when i go on t #one. im taking minoxidil. two. i wanna be hairy. and three. im not transitioning to attract you guys im transitioning to attract other trans #people! other trans guys find it hot come on!#like ok so dads brother is out here rn right #so first mom tells me hes gonna ask me questions about being trans. ok fine.#second she starts going on about how i had to be emotionally vulnerable with like 3 different therapists for this. whatever.#then when i start participating in the conversation she immediately asks “so how are you feeling about losing all your hair”#THEN she has the audacity to say to my uncle “yeah its sort of a gamble hes either gonna end up hairy like the italian side or fairly #baby smooth like yall“ when she fucking KNOWS that im dysphoric about my lack of body hair #and this happens every time! and its out of nowhere constantly!#all the while the cis men in the room are fucking bullying me with all this toxic masculinity bullshit!#sometimes i just wish i had never come out is all im saying #kept this a secret until i became an adult yknow. yeah i would have to do everything myself but it wouldn't be like this #just because i told you that you could call me a fag doesnt mean youre suddenly allowed to do microagressions constantly #shes tickled to fucking death with calling my future bottom growth my “teenie weenie” what the fuck! what the fuck!!!#and meanwhile every time i try to say words or make a joke my dad and grandpa jump on the fucking opportunity to correct me! or cut me off!#sorry im fucking exhausted i barely slept at all the night before last and got i think maybe 7 hours of sleep at most last night #and i just got out of therapy which always wears me out

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gilliontidestriderchampionoftheu · 9 months ago

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smh my head edyn isnt the navys chosen one bcus the navy comms guy who gill overhears says 'fish girl contact' and 'chosen one' as if theyre two different people. but he does imply that the navys chosen one is also from the undersea? because he says "maybe youre all freaks" to gillion while being interrogated. so who the fuck IS it???

#my post #jrwi riptide #like its gotta be someone we havent met yet #because who do we know from the undersea.#caspian? felipe? aslana and her mom?#well itd just be aslana bcus her mom doesnt have legs #and asters version of the prophecy says the chosen one is 'one that could walk the land and breathe water'#..............hheyyy guys.. did aslana not say something about being 'special' which is why she has legs sometimes?#no that doesnt make any sense bcus she was just travelling with her mother and theres no way shes involved w the navy.#although they did see her in the north sea. no surely not bcus she was going to the undersea yknow #okay but now thats in my head and it wont leave #BECAUSE WHO THE HELL ELSE IS THERE?????#caspians not a 'nutcase' or a 'freak' so hes out #neither is aslana in all honesty but i could see someone mean thinking shes weird #felipe. well it could be felipe maybe. but hes in hell right now #BUT LIKE THATS EVERYONE!! SO WHO IS IT????? SHAKES GRIZZLY WHATS HAPPENING

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opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months ago

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...

#sorry im thinking abt death again #because it's weird to think that ive been in the room. maybe a meter away from someone as they died #that someone being my mom. its just weird. the time in the hospital feels like it happened in some dark little pocket universe detached from #time. a calm room and then the soft blips of a monitor then the nurse rushing in to say she'd passed #i dont kno y ppl use that phrase: passed on. i mean i do. it softens the topic. makes it sound peaceful. ive yet to use it. i just say she #died bc thats what happened. is that insensitive? i dunno. when i was home i realized that i come off as much stranger than i think. the way #my family see me doesnt fit how i see myself. i dont kno what to do with that. i dunno. theyre all together today #for an early easter. and im halfway across the country again. nose so stuffy ive had to mouth breathe for the last 3 days #and again. everything feels the same as it did before but also profoundly different. sometimes i cry in the mornings. or when i think abt #future vacations she wont be there for. bc in the end she quickly slipped away in a way that couldn't be described as peaceful until her #last half a day. and all i can think about in that tiny room is how scary it would be to lose control like that #and how its not fair and she didnt deserve to die only halfway through a lifetime. but its not about fair and its not about deserving.#sometimes bad things just happen. that's life. and now i own a book called motherless daughters. and now im standing with the countless #others who've lost their moms too early. ive already become aware of 3 ppl in my daily life who are in the same club #i keep thinking about this moment that happened between my parents at the hospital. apparently my dad was helping her get cleaned up and her #stomach was so bloated she looked like she had a bby in there. which my dad said. and my mom apparently said: but it's a baby no one want. i #dont kno y that upsets me so much. all the things i heard abt her being in the hospital before i got there upset me. and the rest of my #family was there to see it. so i have the least traumatic version of the story. and i got almost 27 years with her. except my sisters #probably got more time with her bc i spent so much time away. or maybe not. i dunno.#i dunno. im just sad that shes gone and sad that it was drawn out even a little bit. 6 days isnt long but im sure it felt like an eternity.#again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a #full life as they say. full with an asterisk on account of length #unrelated

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thereareeyesinsidethetrees · 1 year ago

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stan stocking up for the apocalypse and warning people about it and then never bringing it up again is incredibly intriguing to me

#‘same coin theory!’ no…no i uh i prefer to use it to draw comparisons between ford and stan #ford struggles with paranoia all the time #this one episode could potentially mean that stan actually struggles with it too?#i think probably he just doesnt experience it on as much of a near-constant basis (which doesnt make it any less of a problem than ford’s)#and- like with everything else stan struggles with- he acts very casual about it and probably tries to hide it #sometimes its worse than other days. maybe that episode happened to be a day where stan had it bad enough that he ended up telling people #just speculation and nothing more. again its never brought up again so who can say really

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forgotten-daydreamer · 3 months ago

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vent moment but my health is a bit worse than i let on, which is weird ik since it seems like complain about it all the time here, and apparently i also look sick, because two separate people in their 40s or 50s asked me, 24, if i needed their seat on the bus. kind of them. but humiliating nonetheless.