#which often does have romantic/sexual feelings sure BUT those are not a requirement

[thememestrider]

40k Nsfw alphabet - Leman Russ x F! Reader

Merry Christmas everyone. As usual, apologies for grammar and spelling errors, ooc or other such mistakes. Hope you all enjoy :)

(as requested by @yanagikou. I'm working thru everyone else's requests dw, just let me cook lol)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Surprisingly tender and thoughtful. Leman Russ may look like a barbarian on the outside side, but behind closed doors he is a kind, caring and gentle lover.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Leman likes a woman with meat on her bones. He loves belly bumps and love handles. He loves thick thighs that he can sink his fingers into. Also, Fenris is such a cold, wintery place that it's almost essential that a baseline person be a little thicker.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

While finishing inside you will always be his favourite, Leman also loves finishing on your belly or your chest. He loves the sight of you covered in his seed, the smell of it mixing with your sweat and pheromones. He also loves the smell and taste of you. Often, after you two have made love, Leman will be loath to clean himself up- the thought of washing the scent of you from his body is unfathomable to him.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He wants to try pegging but he's way too scared to ask you. Nothing further, your honour.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Leman is one of only two primarchs (the other being Fulgrim) that ACTUALLY has ANY previous sexual experience. That, paired with his naturally out going and self confident personality, means that generally, Leman feels very confident in bed. He knows all those little tricks. Like propping your lower back up on a pillow and pressing down on your abdomen when he's on top. But don't mistake that confidence for arrogance. If there's one thing that Leman has taken away from his past experiences, the one little trick he will always remember, it's that the only way he can be sure to pleasure his partner is to listen to them. It's to follow their direction. Simply put, he's not the kinda man to rub your inner thigh for 2 mins and ask if you finished. No. He's the kinda guy to tell you to take his hand and guide it to exactly the right spot.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Doggie (self explanatory. I mean, come on. This is Leman Russ, the big WOLF man. It's basically a requirement at this point.),

missionary (For when he's craving tenderness and intimacy) and spooning (best of both of the above)

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Leman can pull off both very well. But the most important thing to note here is that for him, sex is something to have fun with. He wants you both to just enjoy yourselves. If that means being serious, then great! If that means giggling, calling each other funny names or breaking the sexual tension with wise cracks, then great!

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

The clue is in the name, frankly. Leman Russ is the Great Wolf: of course he's gonna look the part. It's thick. It's bushy. His chest and back are also super hairy.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Leman is a surprisingly romantic man. So much of his time is spent warring, fighting, and generally acting like a barbaric ruffian. So, more often than not, by the time he makes it to bed with you, he is craving intimacy and gentleness. Of course, as things spice up he might want to get a little rougher, but it always comes from a place of love, fun and pleasure.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Leman makes as much noise when he masturbates as he does when he's having regular sex. Which is a lot.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

First up is breeding. Regardless of whether or not the pair of you actually want to have children, the thought of pumping you full, of making your belly swell with his seed, is irresistible to him.

Second; menstruation. Everything about it turns him on. The scent of your changing pheromones. The implications of those changes- that your body is not only ready, but yearning for his seed- that feed directly into his breeding kink. The fact that sex provides you relief from your cramps, giving him extra motivation to make love as fiercely and passionately as he can. The red river doesn't bother him either, so no matter how heavy your flow is, he's still gonna eat you out if you want him to.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

In the living room of his chambers, in front of the hearth, right on top of the largest, most luxurious animal-hide rug that's sprawled out on the floor in front of the flames.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

One word: scent. And I don't mean perfumes or anything like that. I mean the smell of you. Your pheromones. Your bodily musk. Leman loves it. It's like a drug for him. And when you're feeling turned on or you are ovulating? It sends him absolutely feral.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything that involves threatening, demeaning, hitting or choking you and anything else in that vein. The reasons why are pretty obvious: Leman loves you. The thought of hurting you or causing you distress is practically heresy.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.).

Leman is a pussy eating king. When he's giving it to you, he's absolutely ravishing you, so much so you're gonna be aching the next day.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Leman enjoys both as much as each other. It all depends on how you're both feeling.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.).

While he'd prefer to have all night to make love to you, Leman is down for a quickie. This is particularly true when you're ovulating or having your time of the month, as the scent of your hormones makes him horny to the point of frenzy.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Absolutely! So long as it doesn't involve any of the things mentioned back up in N, Leman loves experimentation.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Come on. Seriously. This is Leman frickin Russ. This man can go for DAYS.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Leman doesn't own toys, and his ego might be bruised if he learns that you like to use them. He'll get over it though. You won't give him a choice.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Leman is totally a tease. Even more so when the two of you are in public. He likes making you blush with dirty words whispered in your ears and startling you with slaps on the ass or surprise bear hugs from behind.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Leman is utterly shameless when it comes to making noise. He encourages you to be the same. Sounds he makes include in order: growls, moans, roars and whimpers.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

When he's going down on ou, he loves it when you pull his hair. Nothing further, your honour.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Imagine the beefiest beefcake of a Viking man, then multiply the beefiness by 3.5. That's Leman.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

High. Very high. He'd make love to you twice a day if it was viable. He just adores you, your body and how they both make him feel so Throne-damn much.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Leman is always absolutely ragged at the end of your love-making sessions. As much as he wants to just fall straight asleep, however, he insists on caring for and cuddling with you first. He may fall asleep first after that, but only ever after that.

[historyslittlebish]

Hello. I would like to ask for your permission before I submit a full request.

Do you by any chance accept King Baldwin x Male!Reader request? It might involve NSFW scenario as well.

King Baldwin IV x Male!Guard!Reader One shot NSFW: (Completed!)

a/n: Hi anon and I know I declined but I'll still do it because I feel bad for rejecting, Idk how to write NSFW so it's gonna be bad but i'll do it. I also don't know if this is a scenario you wanted but if you wanna request a different one please do! Also I apologize because I have never watched the movie and I'm not sure how accurate this is.

==========================================

Warning: fluff, handjob, occ for our king I think

It was often unheard of, two men in a romantic or sexual relationship. Many thought it was sin, it wasn't something god accepted but they can never really know the answer can they? Why would god let them feel the feelings, why would god allow it to be an option? That is something many people never ponder enough.

Something that a knight named Y/N never pondered until he met with the great king of Jerusalem, Baldwin the IV.

Y/N had been hired as a knight since Baldwin was 12 and Y/N was 15 and a freshly knighted boy. As years past, Y/N was named best soldier in the brackets of the armies. He was agile, quick, resilient, strong, and most of all, loyal.

He was the kings personal guard which he didn't mind at all. He had grown close to the king, enough to get the king to show him his sore ridden face, his scars, his 'ugliness' but to Y/N, he was anything but ugly.

Y/N saw a kind hearted boy and man growing up, intelligent, brave, and strong willed, those were the words Y/N thinks when describing the king, everyone does.

Growing up, he saw Baldwin's determination to become a great king and to overcome his deadly illness. Only one could be truly possible but Baldwin was content, despite being numb to the bone, skin lesions, and more.

Today was like any other. Baldwin had a few things to get done but after that, he could have his peace.

Y/N stood slightly behind the throne Baldwin sat on, staring at the arguing lords and counsel members. Each fighting on whose strategies are better, who's morally righteous, whatever that is available to bicker about.

Y/N heard Baldwin sigh as he raised his hand and made a sound.

Suddenly everyone looked over and quieted down.

"I will meet with Saladin, we shall negotiate peace." Baldwin shifted slightly before hearing one of the older counsel members try to inerject.

"How do we know we can trust that Muslim r-" Baldwin raised his hand once more, immediately silencing the man "He may be Muslim, but we will respect him and treat him with nobility and equality.".

Y/N's heart thumped in his chest at the kings word. The kings kindness and true compassion was incredibly admirable but also making him lust for the king.

The people of the counsel glanced between each other but bowed at the kings words before swiftly making their exit, allowing the two men to be alone and at ease.

Baldwin slowly stood from his throne and looked at Y/N.

Y/N could see the exhaustion in his eyes, his beautiful sky blue eyes. Y/N snapped himself out of his thoughts and kept up a stoic expression.

"What now, my king?" Y/N asked as Baldwin stepped towards him. The king cautiously touched the mans arm and looked deep into his eyes. "I think I require a way to relax before I retire for tonight." As he said this, Baldwin's hand tools Y/N's and slowly led it down to his pelvis area where a little tent formed under his white and gold robes.

"My king.." Y/N breathed as his hand ghosted the man's bulge.

"Make me a happy man, Y/N, I long for your touch." Baldwin's raspy voice murmured as his being was consumed with lust. Y/N doesn't know how a man of God to dare go against him in terms of lust for another male but Y/N can't say he doesn't thoroughly enjoy it.

It doesn't take too long before Y/N helps the king to his quarters and settling on the soft and silky bed.

Y/N helps the king reveal his bulge.

His cock bobbed as soon as it was released from its confines. "Y/N.." Baldwin groans as his hips slightly buck. This is one of those moments when Baldwin thanks the heavens that the feeling in his crotch is not numb or too sore ridden.

Despite the sores, Y/N didn't mind at all. his hungry eyes took in all the kings cock as he played with the tip soaked in pre-cum.

Baldwin groaned as he sat half laying down as the man continued to fiddle with his manhood. Y/N loved the sweet sounds the king was making as he felt himself nearing his peak.

The man let out a loud moan as his semen spilled into the mans hand. As the king came down his high he stared at Y/N in awe, despite him being hired and a guard, he could still love a man like him.

Slowly, Baldwin sat upright and gently grasped Y/N hand, silently hoping that he would not get infected either. Baldwin leaned over and pressed a his to the mans temples.

Y/N softly smiled as he held his beloveds hand, enjoying each others presence. Love radiating off the two.

This is a sin but it is an amazing feeling.

A/N: Hopefully this is to your liking anon! Sorry if its bad :/

[oletus-writer]

Pinhead NSFW Alphabet

Warnings: nsfw, heavy bdsm themes

Authors note: this got deleted once, and I’m really tired, so it may be bad. sorry about that

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

Mortal, what is that? Why is that required? Many of those the cenobite has tortured did not require nor ask for aftercare, to be pampered after experiencing such pain and pleasure. The most you’ll get from them would be them taking care of your wounds and getting you a drink. Perhaps with time they’ll get better at it.

B = Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

They like your entire body, how it can fit so much pleasure on every inch of it, how they can rake knives through your back and run their cold tongue against your chest, the pins in their head running grooves into your skin. They do not understand the concept of vanity, and do not have a favourite part of themselves, but they do like how their hands are able to inflict such feelings…

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Their cum is a bit sticky and strange-tasting, a bit bitter. Today I found out about slugging in a sexual way, and, though they are rather open with regards to paraphilias, I don’t believe they see the pleasure in slugging.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

There’s not many secrets that Pinhead keeps, in regards to sex, but they will keep in mind what your boundaries are, and will not mention the kinks they think you won’t like.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

If you’re talking about experience in regards to inflicting pain, then yes, they are rather experienced, but when it comes to sex? They don’t remember the last time they thought of having sex.

F = Favourite position (this goes without saying)

I doubt suspension sex counts as a sex position, but regardless, it’s their favourite way to subject you to the ideas in their mind. However, if you want vanilla sex, missionary works just fine.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

There are no jokes in Pinhead’s bedroom, as you may need to explain the jokes to them, which would ruin the mood.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes?)

There is no hair to see whether or not the carpet matches the drapes, but their pubic hair is black, slightly thinner, and not groomed at all. Naturally, they don’t mind if you trim yours, as they do not understand why mortals are so hung up about it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? are they romantic?)

If you count intimacy as stroking your face while crying from pain, then sure, there’s a bit of intimacy, but there’s no kisses, no words of comfort, no candles (unless they want to burn you).

J = Jack off (masturbation headcannon)

As I’ve said before, they’re not too focused on sex, and would rather take out their frustrations by torturing people. They don’t masturbate often, unless it’s to snuff films.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

It would be easier to list the things they won’t do, which is not much, but if you want to see some of the stuff they might be into, so here’s a wikipedia link to a list of paraphilias.

L = Location (favourite places to have sex)

Whatever realm of hell they can send you to that is private and gives them free rein of their powers is a good location to have sex. They’re also not opposed to fucking you in the mortal realm, but they feel a bit more comfortable in hell.

M = Motivation (what turns them on?)

There’s not much you could do to turn them on, outside of torture, and their libido is less of a libido and more of a carnal desire to injure someone until every inch of their skin has been occupied with wounds. At first, flashy and revealing clothing may not do much for them, but if you introduce the concept of dressing up during sex, then they may get horny when they see you wearing such outfits. (Pavlov’s dog them)

N = No (what turns them off?)

It is rather hard to say that something turns them off, as they are very open minded when it comes to kinks and fetishes, to the point where it becomes a flaw. Don’t intraduce them to things that you yourself don’t want to try, as they’d definitely want to see what it’s all about. Why do mortals aroused by sunlight (actirasty)? Why do they like trees in a sexual way (dendrophilia)? Assisting people with automobiles particularly those stuck in the mud, snow, etc (pedal pumping)?? (I could go on) How creative your species are.

O = Oral (do they prefer giving or receiving? how skilled are they?)

Unless you really like pain, it is I’ll advised to have Pinhead give you oral, and for that exact reason, they are not too skilled at it. When it comes to this, they would be rather awkward, and it may take a while for them to get the hang of it.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual?)

They are ruthless when it comes to inflicting pain, only pausing a few times to admire their work, or for you to savour the feelings of pleasure and pain. In regards to penetrative sex, they set a fast pace, as they would not like to be bored during sex.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies)

It seems to be a waste of time, as they are unable to show the full extent of the ideas they have planned, and it is more likely that quickies with them becomes full-blown sessions.

R = Risk (are they experimental? do they take risks?)

As stated before, they are willing to do about anything, regardless of whether or not they understand why you mortals enjoy such thing.

S = Stamina (how long do they last?)

They are a cenobite, and therefore does not have any concept of fatigue, but that doesn’t mean they want to last forever. After ten rounds or so, they’d start to get bored of it, but most likely, you won’t last that long to see them decide they’ve had enough.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them?)

If you count the strange contraptions they are able to summon as toys, then yes, they do own quite a few, which are often put to use. However, they have not known of the more common sex toys, such as vibrators, and, once introduced to them, may use them occasionally, although perhaps not in places where they were made to be used.

U = Unfair (how much do they like to tease?)

They don’t like teasing too much, as they would rather get to the meat of it, but will edge you and deny orgasms in the name of pleasure and pain. Pinhead themselves does not particularly enjoy being tortured, but things such as whipping, cutting, and breaking bones are not completely off the table.

V = Volume (how loud are they?)

Unless you top them, they’re going to be quiet. Even if you do take the role of dominant, there’s going to be a few grunts and heavy breathing, unless you do something game changing. Then they’re going to release a suppressed moan, and tilt their head away in embarrassment.

W = Wild card (a random headcannon for the character)

If you ever tell them about the kink forniphilia, or turning humans into furniture, they thought you meant skinning them, tanning them, and all the other processes that turns them into leather, which is then used for, say, a chair.

X = X-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)

Pinhead was originally played by a man, and, according to Hellbound: Hellraiser II, was originally a man before they became a cenobite, so they do indeed have a penis. It is of average length, around 5.8 inches (14.7 cm) and a bit thinner than average.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

If by sex drive you mean the desire to experience new forms of pleasure and pain, then yes, they have a high sex drive. In terms of applying that to sex, they did not know of the concept of bdsm before, but after finding out about it, they were eager to partake in it.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Cenobites don’t fall asleep, so don’t expect to see them with their guard lowered, looking so peaceful in their sleep. The closest you’ll get is when they close their eyes for a while, a wave of bliss on their face as they’re imagining torture.

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

I know it is only anybodys guessing really, and I truly do not want to sound like 'the historian' but you would go as far as calling these relationships of napoleon 'homoerotic'? Why? Couldn't it be the case of him having just very warm attitude and be close to his friends like that?

Again nothing against it, but I needed to ask since I as well am the person to get alike towards my close friends and I don't feel it having any attraction undertones.

Thank you for the ask! As usual for me, my response got really long.

I mean correct! It’s literally anyone’s guess. Who knows? Certainly not me! Certainly no one who is alive right now!

I’m just a queer on the internet having fun who sees Napoleon and goes "ah yes, a chaotic bisexual even though the concept of modern sexual identity wasn't a thing in his time etc. etc. [insert all the other usual disclaimers required on this webbedsite]" so that's why.

[How do I know he’s a chaotic bi? Well, it’s very simple, he couldn’t sit properly in a chair, liked to sit on his secretaries’ laps, pull their ears, and tell them Fun Facts he learned that day, and wanted to make the tsar of Russia his mistress. He also dearly loved Josephine and wrote about how he liked going down on her. This is clear proof that he was a chaotic bi king and we should be so lucky to know this about him. ;)]

I'm also a writer who likes to slap a queer lens onto most things because that's how I role and I'm very unapologetic about it. Which most people who follow me know.

I’m also someone who has incredibly deep, intimate friendships with a close selection of people in my life that are not romantic/sexual or whatever in their nature—but they are incredibly intimate. They are friendships where partners of my friends have been jealous and insecure because of how close we are—which is a them problem, not an us problem.

I would go so far as to argue that friends are more likely to slot into that problematic category of “soulmate” than anyone romantic (ymmv). And from the outside, I’m sure people might read my friendships with a few people (have read them, in fact) as romantic/homoerotic and frankly I don’t care. Whatever. I know what my friendships are, why does it matter what other people read them as? More to the point, why does it matter that someone reads a dead person’s friendships as homo-something? How does that impact my friendships which may, or may not, mirror that dead person’s friendships? Who cares? One should love one’s friends however one wishes to. Fuck everything else.

--

In an effort to avoid the Great Queer Napoleon Discourse War of 2013-14 I shall include a disclaimer because hot damn do people get REALLY uppity about this: I’m a writer, first and foremost in all things. I’m not a historian. As noted above, I’m a queer fag on the internet having fun. Take what I say with a grain of salt.

(Honestly, doing anything with Napoleon’s sexuality aside from He Was the Straightest Straight Who Ever Straighted, gets everyone’s hackles raised. I think that says more about those with hackles up than it does the person going: maybe he might have had a bit of a queerness about him, it’s not implausible.)

--

Some general stuff on Napoleon & That Doesn’t Seem Entirely Straight, Even For the 18th and 19th Century:

From Cronin’s biography on Napoleon:

“Napoleon found that his friendships with men often began with physical attraction, and this took a curious form. ‘He told me,’ says Caulcaincourt, ‘…that for him the heart was not the organ of sentiment; that he felt emotions only where most men experience feelings of a different kind; nothing in the heart, everything in the loins and in another place, which I leave nameless.’ 

The feeling Napoleon described as ‘a sort of painful tingling, a nervous irritability…the squeaking of a saw sometimes gives me the same sensation’.”

In addition, Talleyrand speculated Napoleon and Bourienne were, uh, intimate in all senses of the word. Talleyrand, of course, well—one should treat his hot takes with some caution.

There is also the (in)famous letter Napoleon wrote to Josephine about Alexander where he said that he and Alexander were inordinately pleased with one another and if the tsar were a woman, he’d take Alexander as his mistress (Napoleon, honey, don’t write that to your wife).

I mean, do what you want with that. Take it for what it’s worth /shrug

---

Of the three friendships under discussion: Lannes, Duroc, Junot—I always read Lannes and Napoleon’s friendship as just friendship. Duroc and Junot though. That’s where we start getting into arguments for a homoerotic friendship—or romantic friendship, if one prefers that term.

I’ll do a little ramble for each, because they all deserve it.

Lannes

Napoleon’s friendship with Lannes was intimate, close, and they loved each other dearly—but as said, I always read them as friends. Even if they lived today and were free/able to be whatever they wanted to be to one another, it’d still just be friendship.

People did make Achilles/Patroclus references to them—particularly around Lannes’ death—but that was the mode of how people spoke back then. It’s the 19th century version of comparing everything to LOTR or Harry Potter (read another classical epic people, jeez).

Their friendship was volatile for sure—these are two hot headed, strong minded, opinionated men who were not afraid to snap and snarl at one another—but at the end of the day I do not doubt their love for each other. But it’s what we would term a platonic love.  

Brian Martin writes this in Napoleonic Friendship: Military Fraternity, Intimacy, and Sexuality in Nineteenth-century France:

Napoleon’s grief for Marshal Lannes took on the very public character of open lamentation. Rather than grieve behind closed doors and conceal his personal vulnerabilities in order to show public strength, Napoleon’s mourning for his beloved friend became a matter of great public spectacle. Like Achilles mourning his beloved Patroclus, Napoleon wept publicly and openly expressed his affection in a way that was widely reported, discussed, and admired by the officers and soldiers in his armies.

[…]

Napoleon’s public grief at the death of Jean Lannes represented a new model for social relations between soldiers in the early nineteenth-century France. weeping over his friend’s broken body, Napoleon demonstrated how the revolution and empire had made it possible not only for an emperor to grieve openly for a fallen marshal, but for a soldier to love his comrade. This uncharacteristic expression of affection between Napoleon and Lannes was echoes in similar relationships between officers and foot soldiers in Napoleon’s armies. Military memories of the first empire bear witness to a wide range of intimate relationships among generals, colonels, and captains as well as sergeants, corporals, and grunts (grognards), the infantry soldiers who made up the majority of the imperial armies. Napoleon’s love for Lannes might thus be said to represent a broad spectrum of masculine affection and intimacy in the ranks of the Grande Armée, or what could be called Napoleonic friendship.

So yeah, I’ve not much more to say on them. Their friendship was loving, affectionate, intimate, and complex. Lannes could be frustrated with Napoleon (often was, the longer Napoleon remained in power—because Lannes loved Bonaparte not the emperor), but Lannes loved his friend and Napoleon loved Lannes. But my read on them has always been that it was what we would term platonic.

------

Junot

This one is messy. Because Junot and Napoleon are messy people. I also think this one is the strongest case for “something more than friendship”. I personally believe Junot loved Napoleon in a deep, phenomenal, possibly obsessive fashion that absolutely was romantic—maybe sexual/erotic—and Napoleon for a time may have returned at least some of those feelings. Then it all went south.

I’m ripping a lot of this from a previous ask I received about Junot—since it covered a lot of the more romantic aspects of his and Napoleon’s relationship.

Junot and Napoleon were close friends when they were in their 20s. Incredibly close. Laure Junot, whose memoires one should treat cautiously, intimated that there was more than just friendship between them at this point. But if that is the case, we’ll never know for certain.

Brian Martin sums it up well (and saves me from having to dig out my copy of Laure’s memoir):

Soon after his imprisonment, Napoleon was released and exonerated, but with little money and no desire to take on a new military post in Brittany, he returned to Paris where, as Laure Junot explains, he lived with his comrade Junot and depended on his friend’s emotional and financial support … The 1794 letter from Toulon initiates a half-year period in the lives of the twenty-five-year-old Bonaparte and twenty-three-year-old Junot when … these ambitious young men relied on each other during their impecunious days in Paris. Describing how Junot “loved Bonaparte as one loves at the age” (1: 188), Laure Junot implies that the young Jean-Andoche developed an adolescent crush on Napoleon, as the two young men grew in intimacy.

[…]

Laure Junot tactfully observes many years later that it was difficult to assess the nature of these friendships [with Duroc and Junot] without offending their masculinity: “These are the very profound and abstract mysteries of the human heart. It is difficult to explain them without first wounding a man’s dignity” (11: 131).

In relegating Napoleon’s military relationships to the realm of the mysteries, Laure Junot defines Napoleonic friendship — long before “the love that dare not speak its name” was articulated by Lord Alfred Douglas in 1894 and invoked at Oscar Wilde’s trial in 1895 —as an enigmatic and unspeakable love incapable of being articulated without shaming a soldier’s manhood. Amid such ambiguity, it is unclear if such “mysteries” encompass both the emotional and the erotic. What is clearer is that Napoleon and Junot shared a degree of affection during their youth in Paris that was undeniably intimate.

As Napoleon climbed up the greasy pole, the power dynamic changed and expectations of interpersonal relationships became more formal putting a strain on his and Junot’s friendship. Junot, like many who knew Napoleon from the early days, loved Bonaparte, not the emperor. As Laure put it in her memoire: “Now let me explain the sadness and pain which afflicted Junot on learning that Napoleon was no longer his General Bonaparte of Toulon. Perhaps the affair simply followed a natural decline. But Junot … did not see it this way. He wanted reciprocity, which he craved even more as his own affectionate fantasies increased … He loved the man, not the emperor.”

In 1800, Napoleon named Junot Commandant of Paris on the condition that he marry because, it seems, there were too many rumours flying around about the two of them. (As noted above, Talleyrand was already making some “huh. Interesting closeness, there” comments about Napoleon.) Dutifully, Junot married Laure.

Junot always exhibited some signs of mental illness throughout his life and at one point he received a head wound (I forget which battle) that massively exacerbated whatever existing mental health troubles he had. (And note that this was one of many wounds - nor was it his first head wound. It’s just the one people in his own life pointed to as a moment of change.)

Junot had jealous and possessive tendencies, something that drove Napoleon a little batty, and they got worse. While Junot was in Portugal, and later Spain, he wrote Napoleon a series of desperate letters begging him to reappoint Junot as his aid-de-camp. We unfortunately don’t have these letters anymore, Napoleon was notoriously secretive and private when it came to personal correspondence and had a habit of burning lots of it. However, we do have Laure’s account of Napoleon’s reception of Junot’s pleading. Laure writes:

"Look here, Madame, what your husband writes to me!’ said the Emperor, ‘Read this and tell me if he sends you such letters."

I read these letters, and this caused me some pain: my husband sent me affectionate missives, but never in the tone of a lover; here were letters that resembled those between Julie and Saint-Preux, or those of the Portuguese nun.*

Napoleon then goes on and says:

“In admitting that Junot loves me more than anything in the world … [he demonstrates] that he does not love me more than his own ambition”

To which Laure replies:

“He loves you, Sire, more than all the honours that you can give, more than your crown, more than me perhaps, for it was pride that made me say the contrary just now, perhaps even more than his children!”

-

*Note: She’s referencing Guilleragues’s Portuguese Letters (1669) and Rousseau’s Julie or the New Héloïse (1761)

Also, as I said above, treat Laure’s accounts cautiously. As with all memoirs, she is positioning certain scenes with a purpose and some things are downplayed, or exaggerated, accordingly.

-

In 1813, Napoleon dismissed Junot from military duty and sent him off to be governor of Illyria which Junot, rightly or wrongly, saw as a form of exile. During his ambassadorship he famously entered a ballroom wearing nothing but his epaulettes and his medals. [above para' edited per conversation in the notes]

Brian Martin:

While one could blame Junot’s naked diplomacy on his progressive dementia, his shocking entrance can also be seen as a kind of buff rebuff to Napoleon. After a lifetime fighting for Bonaparte, watching shrapnel rip into young men’s bodies, leading thousands of soldiers to their deaths, and suffering twenty-seven wounds* of his own, Junot offered his own ravaged body as a hideous and spectacular product of Napoleon’s violence.

-

*Note: Junot says he had 17 wounds, not sure where Martin got 27 - unless there were wounds Junot wasn’t counting.

-

After this incident, Junot was swiftly recalled back to France where he soon after died by suicide.

In his final letter to Napoleon he wrote:

“I who love you with the affection of a savage for the sun, I who am entirely yours. Well then: this eternal war that we must fight for you, I want no more of! I want peace! I want finally to repose my tired head, my sore limbs … to enjoy that which I earned … with my blood! The blood of an honest man, of a good Frenchman, of a true patriot. I therefore ask, at last, for that tranquillity that I earned through twenty-two years of effective service and seventeen wounds from which my blood has flowed for my country, and for your glory.” (emphasis in original)

After Junot’s death, Napoleon ordered that Junot’s personal papers be seized and destroyed as he was afraid their personal correspondence might make its way to a public forum.

So yeah, Junot’s love for Napoleon was definitely on the romantic side, I would say. Because Napoleon burned all their correspondence we don’t know what he sent in reply to Junot—especially in the early days of their relationship. I suspect it was intimate and possibly in line with what Junot continued to send him throughout their life and like hell did Napoleon want that escaping to the public.

Anyway—Junot and Napoleon, I would argue definitely had some homoerotic/romantic undertones and such to their friendship. I think it was mutual in their 20s then Napoleon’s feelings retreated to more platonic but Junot’s never changed.

It just man, gives me strong flashbacks to when I was a teenager and one of my best friends at the time  declared herself my soulmate and carved my initials into her arm and left me a million and a half messages on the home answering machine and said that I was cold like Napoleon and she loved me for it etc. etc.

When I look at Junot and Napoleon I see myself and my old friend in all that glory of the strange complexities of young, intensely emotional and intimate friendships that absolutely blur the line into romantic/erotic.

------

Duroc

Ah sweet Duroc! Duroc who regularly compared himself to Junot in terms of his relationship to Napoleon.

Duroc to Laure Junot in May of 1813:  “Poor Junot! It’s that he’s like me! The Emperor’s friendship is our whole life.”

And again, this is from Laure’s memoirs:

‘Junot and some others,’ Duroc said to me, ‘misjudge me and misjudge my position as well. The Emperor would disgrace me if he made me a marshal of France. What would I do away from him? No doubt it’s a great honor; but my attachment to him, how could it not be affected by that distance? I love the Emperor as Junot loves him. And isn’t he going to choose the post of first aide-de-camp instead of that of governor of Paris? So why judge me otherwise!’

-

Duroc’s a hard one to pin down because he was such an exemplary marshal of the palace, in addition he left us no diaries or memoirs so we have the word of others and what survived of his letters, little else to go on.

However, I think it telling that Duroc compared himself to regularly to Junot—who everyone was aware of how he felt about Napoleon—and that Junot was so jealous of Duroc. That Junot saw Duroc as a rival for Napoleon’s affection and love but not Lannes tells me that clearly Junot could see the similarity of what Duroc and Napoleon had to what he and Napoleon may have once had but didn’t anymore. And, that Lannes was different. It was a different relationship and one that Junot didn’t find threatening.

It's also worth nothing that Duroc was the only one of Napoleon’s officers, aside from Lannes, who was allowed to use tu with Napoleon. Las Cases writes: “I’ve heard the Emperor say that in all of his military career, Duroc alone possessed his blind confidence and received all his affection … Duroc loved the Emperor for himself; he was devoted most of all to the private man, even more than to the monarch”

Duroc’s role as marshal of the palace also put him in an interesting position as a sort of quasi-wife to Napoleon. The role he played was very much a “wife” role—Cronin summarizes Duroc’s duties thus:

"Napoleon was struck by Duroc’s sweet nature, his beautiful manners and the patience which he himself lacked. So he employed his friend as a diplomat and when he became Emperor chose him to run the household and court. […] He had his hands full ensuring that the grocer did not overcharge for the Chambertin, since Napoleon would be sure to notice, and, as Napoleon put on weight, tactfully persuading the Imperial Tailor not to make new clothes but to let out the old ones a couple of inches. He also had to make peace when Napoleon lost his temper: pushing over the table, for example, when he saw crépinettes of partridge. He did this admirably, because he was devoted to Napoleon. Many a time, when the Emperor had hurt a visitor with a sharp word, Duroc would murmur on the way out: ‘Forget it. He says what he feels, not what he thinks, and not what he’ll do tomorrow.’"

No one else of Napoleon’s intimate friends really takes on that wifely role—even after Duroc’s death. Bertrand has the same role, Marshal of the Palace, and he was damn good at his job, just as Duroc was, but there was a difference in their relationship and Bertrand doesn’t read as so close and devoted on a marital level to Napoleon. Not that Bertrand didn’t love Napoleon, he did, gods know he did, but it was more in line with Lannes than Duroc or Junot.

Napoleon describes Duroc to Las Cases:

‘Duroc,’ concluded he, ‘had lively, tender, and concealed passions, little corresponding with the coldness of his manner. It was long before I knew this, so exact and regular was his service. It was not until my day was entirely closed and finished, and I was enjoying repose, that Duroc’s work begun. Chance, or by some accident, could alone have made me acquainted with his character. He was a pure and virtuous man, utterly disinterested, and extremely generous.’

[…]

When he [Napoleon] went to see Duroc, after he had received his mortal wound, he attempted to hold out some hopes to him; but Duroc, who did not deceive himself, only replied by begging [Napoleon] to make them give him opium. …

After this recollection, the emperor, with an apparent effort, began abruptly to talk of something else.

I believe that Napoleon and Duroc were able to see each other’s interiority in a way that few others were able to and that formed the basis for their affection, love and friendship.

Duroc’s letters to Napoleon, anytime they were apart, are also more intense than usual. Plenty of Napoleon’s friends wrote about wanting to be by his side when they were sent off on diplomatic missions or what have you. But Duroc’s express a particularly intense form of devotion:

Duroc to Napoleon, May 29, 1801:

I am waiting to leave, Citizen Consul, until I receive a response to the letters that I had the honor to write you, unless the circumstances or the letters I receive from Paris let me judge that I can leave earlier. I beg you to remember that I am eight hundred leagues from you and, although I’ve been well-received here, I am never better than when I am near you. (Emphasis in the original)

Duroc to Napoleon, July 7, 1801:

I have sought to conduct myself here, Citizen Consul, in a manner that would satisfy you. I am well-regarded and thought highly of everywhere because I belong to you particularly, but I will not be happy until I’m sure that I deserve your approval. I am waiting to set my departure until I know that you’ve received the letter that I had the honor to write you and that I sent with Captain Leclerc. I very much want to find myself near you as soon as possible. (Emphasis in the original)

When Napoleon offered to have Hortense marry Duroc, Napoleon’s proposition was that Duroc would receive five hundred thousand francs and be named commandant of the 8th military division and would be stationed in Toulon (Napoleon was against having a son-in-law in the house).

When the proposition was passed on to Duroc he turned it down because he didn’t want to be sent away from Napoleon’s side and if marriage meant being apart, he didn’t want it, even though from all accounts he was quite fond of Hortense (and she was fond of him).

Later, when Napoleon was having to negotiate his name in exile he said to Barry O’Meara:

“The name of General Bonaparte was the one which I bore at Campo Formio and at Lunneville, when I dictated terms of peace with the Emperor of Austria. I bore it at Amiens when I signed the peace with England. I should be proud to bear it still, but the honour of France forbids me to acknowledge the right of the King of England to annul the acts of the French people. My intention was to take the name of Duroc.”

But he felt he had to keep Emperor Napoleon in order to Make A statement.

In another account, I forget to who, he repeated his intent to have taken on Duroc’s name in exile in order to be a little more incognito/not draw attention to himself, but because England refused to acknowledge that he had been emperor he was like “fuck that, I’m going to insist on being called emperor”. So, had England not been like “you were never emperor” it’s possible Napoleon would have taken Duroc’s surname as his own.

How very married of them.

------

Apologies for the long reply. Not sure this will really answer anything, but it's an amalgamation of my thoughts.

Junot is the clearest of the homo-something friendship between Napoleon and another man. Like, I think that's a tough one to read as anything other than a messy break up. Which is why, when we were all nattering on about queering Napoleon in film yesterday, I focused so much on Junot over the others.

But same sex intimacy, even in Just Friends, can have homo-something undertones to it. Friendships can be complex, multilayered and include some romantic and erotic aspects to them. This doesn't mean those friendships are Romantic Relationships as we think of them, but if there's a romantic tinge to it, or a strong homoerotic tinge to it, then why not explore it? See where it takes the story or the interpretation and undestanding of the person and their actions. Maybe it'll go no where useful, maybe it will. Only one way to find out.

Thank you for the ask!

[mermaidsirennikita]

I came across this tik tok video that talked about how women of color are treated when it comes to romance arcs in period dramas and this person brought up The Gilded Age, Sanditon, The Buccaneers and I'm not sure if they talked about Bridgerton but I feel like Marina and to an extent Edwina would fit in here perfectly.

I mean, even Kate tbh. The way Daphne was treated as the lead for her season--in which she very much was centered, even in the midst of subplots and her own pretty bad behavior--is very different from the way Kate was treated and sidelined (and frankly, not allowed to be treated like a sexual being and object of desire in the way Daph was).

The Gilded Age is shockingly bad with the way Peggy is treated. So she married a guy she loved, had his baby, was separated from her husband and child through her father's machinations (and it must be said--Mr. Russell is a literal robber baron but is framed as this loving husband and father who supports his daughter's dreams of marrying for love even against the wife he adores--for now--but the upper middle class, well off Black father is like... borderline villainous? Mmkay) then finds her baby, but he's dead now. Never mind her "romance" arc.

The way The Buccaneers handled this is why I never fucked with that show.

Georgiana was one of my favorites on Sanditon, and at first it felt like they'd do right by her. But then she was separated from Otis and used by an artist who only wanted her money, basically, and then tried to hurt her even more later. It's basically implied that she needs to cast off love and find happiness as a Strong Independent Black Woman, which like... Yes, we love to see strong Black women onscreen, but there's a strength that is required of them in order to downplay how much more they're suffering compared to their white counterparts, who get to have meltdowns and swoon and sigh in plotlines that are often far less agonizing than those experienced by their Black counterparts. Why shouldn't Georgiana be independent and get love, the way Charlotte (....supposedly) does?

And this is pervasive. White women are cast as romantic heroines, whereas love is less important for women of color; they're sidelined, they're either desexualized or sexualized in an exploitative fashion, and they often suffer physical and emotional abuse.

It's so ugly, dude. Even in Queen Charlotte, Charlotte finds love but we know it's doomed to suffering, and Lady Danbury suffers even more (which absolutely has a colorist streak imo) and has a brief liaison with a meh married guy who ultimately goes back to his white wife, and she never loves again because she's STRONG.

[red-dyed-sarumane]

i added a short afterword go fetch

[shakes this like a bag of cat treats] come get y'all's oc writing

[apatheticdoll]

Madara Uchiha NSFW Alphabet

I'm a little more confident with the characterisation in this alphabet! However, I probably should mention that it was written with the assumption of it taking place with warring states era Madara but if you want to imagine it being wrinkly Madara, you do you.

No warnings for this one but I'm really sorry for taking so long with writing it, a combination of work and anxiety has kept me quite busy. Plus, with Buzzfeed Unsolved ending, I decided to binge watch all the old videos and Q+A's which took me longer than I was expecting.

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex) He...could be better. He has a bad habit of assuming that since he is capable of finishing a intense session of sex just to spar with Izuna straight afterwards, that everyone else is the same.

If you are the type of person who wants to cuddle and have some non-sexual intimacy, he doesn't really understand why but he can persuaded into it. After a handful of times, even if he doesn't need it, he can admit that it is kind of nice to relax with you in his arms and will likely start doing it without being asked.

B = Body Part (their favourite body part on themselves and on their partner) His hair. Not the appearance of it, especially since he isn't the best at remembering to brush it but rather that it's a testament to his strength. Long hair is like some sort of taunt or invitation for a enemy to grab it, it's dangerous but nobody has managed to grasp Madara Uchiha's hair and he refuses to cut it until that happens.

He loves your eyes and how expressive they are, unsurprisingly eye contact is important to him and he couldn't help but fall in love with you more each time he got to see the way they twinkle when you are feeling mischievous or how they darken in concentration when you are sparring against him.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum) He likes to make a little bit of a mess, so if you are okay with it, he loves painting your skin with his seed and watching it drip out of your hole just to work it back in with his fingers. 

His cum is thin and watery, mainly due to his diet and how often he orgasms.

D = Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs) It's not something he wishes to make a reality but he has occasionally fantasised about having a threesome with you and Hashirama. His relationship with Hashirama is hard to explain and he simultaneously wants to share you with him and make sure he never interacts with you at the same time.

E = Experience (how sexually experienced are they) He's surprisingly not very experienced, he has had sex but only a couple times. He wanted to savour those moments with somebody he truly loved but he also didn't want to completely embarrass himself, so he made sure he was competent enough that he wouldn't disappoint his spouse but that's it.

F = Favourite Position (do they have a preference in positions) He doesn't have a favourite, as long as it feels good then it's likely he will be using that position again. He is pretty adventurous with positions though and does like to try new ones, especially if they require a decent amount of strength or flexibility. 

G = Goofy (are they serious, goofy, playful and etc in the moment) He always aims to be serious but he can't stop himself from laughing and teasing you if your body makes a weird noise or something. He can get a little moody though, so while you do occasionally have playful sex, it's not something that happens all the time. 

H = Hair (how well groomed are they) He, almost proudly, has a bush that is supposedly only present because he 'doesn't have time' to take care of it and 'it helps keep him warm' but you know better. He thinks it's only natural for a man to have lots of hair and although he can be reluctantly convinced to trim it, it will damage his pride a little.

I = Intimacy (how romantic are they in the moment) He's not typically the most romantic man but during sex is one of the only times he is comfortable voicing his feelings and emotions without any of his usual pride and bravado getting in the way. Even if he is being incredibly rough and/or dominating, he can't help but let some of his tenderness seep into his words and actions.

J = Jack Off (how often do they masturbate) Not very often, it wasn't something he did a lot of before he met you but now that he has gotten used to your tight hole, his hand just doesn't compare. 

K = Kink (some of their kinks) Strength. He respects strength more than anything, both physical strength and strength of character but if you manage to surprise him with a new attack or jutsu while sparring, he will absolutely want to fuck afterwards.

Dry Humping. More often than not, one of you ends up pinned on the training ground floor and Madara just can't help himself from grinding into you. The adrenaline fuelled arousal mixed with the frustration of wanting more than just friction is just as exhilarating as the spar itself.

Marks. He's a possessive man, seeing the glimpses of love bites and hand prints that he has left on your skin fills him with smug satisfaction. He will also wear any of your marks with pride, it's nice to physical and visual reminders of your love, even if Izuna teases him like crazy if he notices them.

L = Location (favourite places to have sex) He doesn't really care, privacy isn't important or necessary to him. If you both get caught, he is proud of showing how good he's making his spouse feel and is more than intimidating enough to stop whoever caught you both from spreading any kind of rumours or gossip.

M = Motivation (what turns them on) He is utterly unashamed of how easy it is for him to get hard, thankfully his armour often covers it but his clan members are used to him groping you or pulling you into another room, even if you are mid conversation.

N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn offs) Despite having a tendency to grope you no matter where you are or who you are talking to, he can get jealous easily and is quick to anger, so not only would he be unwilling to share you but he would also very likely take his anger out on the other person involved. No threesomes, gangbangs or cuckholding.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving and how skilled they are) He loves giving oral, especially if you sit on his face and make a huge mess. He likes making you feel so good that you are crying and begging him to stop but he also sees it as some kind of competition, proof that he can make you feel better than any other man could.

He also loves to receive but isn't the best at controlling himself, so unless you are okay with getting face fucked, you will likely have to hold him down. 

P = Pace (are they fast, slow, gentle and etc in the moment) His natural pace is fast and hard, a constant pounding rhythm with his hands gripping your waist hard enough to bruise. He isn't opposed to a slower, more sensual pace but it was definitely something he struggled with in the beginning of your relationship.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies and how often they have them) He loves quickies, he often has intentions of taking it slow but gets easily caught up in the intensity and works himself into a frenzy. Besides, the quicker you both cum, the quicker you can have a second round right?

R = Risk (are they willing to experiment or take risks) He unintentionally takes a lot of risks, a mixture of his impulsive and competitive nature means that he will often try new things or manhandle you into new positions. He doesn't really consider them risks though, he sees it more like if something can be done to enhance your sex life, why feel bad or embarrassed about something that makes you feel good.

S = Stamina (how long do they last and can they go more than once) He cums quite fast, partially because of his fondness for quickies but also because of how overwhelming your everything is to him. Luckily, his recovery time is also very quick and can usually cum another 1-2 times before he gets too sensitive and needs to stop.

T = Toys (do like to use toys on themselves or their partner) N/A

U = Unfair (do they like to tease) He loves to tease, to hear your impatient begging and to see your eyes well up with tears. He doesn't really have the stamina to tease you too much during sex but will almost always edge and overstimulate you while going down on you.

V = Volume (how loud are they and what kind of sounds do they make) He isn't particularly loud, with grunts and occasional deep breathy moans being the only sounds that he makes. He is quite talkative though and will mutter the filthiest of phrases with a cocky smirk on his face. 

W = Wild Card (a random headcanon) He's a switch. Despite his status and personality leading others to assume he is always controlling and dominating, he ultimately appreciates those who are strong and has enough self awareness to know he is currently one of the most powerful men alive, so the person he chose as his spouse must be worthy of his respect and admiration.

X = X-Ray (how their bodies and privates are shaped) His body is brawny but surprisingly slim, a combination of his fast metabolism and active lifestyle means that he tends to burn more calories than what he eats.

His dick is average in length but thick with prominent and bulging veins spread throughout. 5.1 inches in length and 6 inches in girth.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive) His libido isn't as high as you would expect, only masturbating once a week or so. He used to be happy with using his pent up energy in other ways but since being with you, he doesn't really know what happened but he's down to fuck, anytime.

Z = Zzz (how quickly do they fall asleep afterwards) Sex doesn't really tire him out, he is a active person and his daily life reflects that. He will cuddle with you until you fall asleep, finding the relaxed atmosphere kind of nice but he will almost certainly get up afterwards to train or perform his duties as clan heir.

[snailsgoingdowntown]

1.] Je t’aime

Yandere! Albedo x fem! Reader

Chapter name: Denial

Warnings: general yandere themes, questioning of relationships, mention of sexual intercourse, no structure (then again when do my stories ever have that -), toxic relationship (I think?). slight obsessive behavior if you squint really hard.

Disclaimer: I do NOT condone any of the actions or behaviors that take place in this piece of fiction. None of this should be considered romantic or even normal as it extremely toxic and dangerous. This is NOT a healthy relationship.

Kinda edited.

Wordcount: 1027k

==

 Albedo was never interested in silly things like romance.

There was no use for it, in his opinion. Reproduction doesn’t require both of the would-be parents to be in a relationship with each other. Dating someone out of boredom or loneliness was just scummy, as the trust would be lost the moment the truth got out. Perhaps ‘love’ comes into it, but who’s to say that the ‘love’ won’t run out?

He’s always been too emerged in his research and studies to even think about romance. He has friends, yes, but even then, there’s a distance between them. A distance he’s not sure should be crossed or not, because the moment you learn too much about someone, you can’t forget it. You won’t forget it. And besides, what if they leave?

He’d rather be married to his research, as cringy and silly as it sounds.

“Yes, relationships are…difficult to keep. Difficult to understand, while having the need for communication and attention often.” He murmurs under his breath, the sketch of a smiling maiden in his hands. He drew it without meaning to, without thinking. It’s odd, now that he thinks about it. Whenever the topic comes up, be it from Klee with curiosity in her eyes or Lisa attempting to tease him, you’re the first to come to mind.

Always. At first, it was barely noticeable, where the only thing he thought about was your name. He brushed it off, thinking that maybe he heard something about you having an interest in someone. He honestly can’t remember. But then, it kept happening, even when no-one brought it up to him. Just the sight of a couple holding hands or sharing a quick kiss had him thinking about you.

How would your lips feel against his?

But as a time went on, the thought of you became a mental image in his mind, where you did and said things you never would in reality. While you smile at him in real life, it was never the loving one he wishes to see. Saying his name with adoration in your eyes, leaning your head against his shoulder, kissing his cheek in the moonlight. But those were all silly daydreams, daydreams he knows won’t come true.

Because Albedo does not have time for romance.

That’s what he tells himself whenever you come to mind while he’s in Dragonspine. Or whenever he goes into town to buy supplies, he tries his best to ignore the way your lips look so kissable. He ignores the way it’s out of character for him to stay for idle chatter. Even if it was about his research, or a cute flower you saw, he was opened to conversation. Only with you, though. He tries to ignore the way his heart hammers in his chest whenever you’re near him.

“Why would one put so much effort into a single person? There is always a possibly that it might not work out, in the end. Wouldn’t all of the effort go to waste if that person leaves?”

He thinks.

“Love is caused by chemicals…Oxytocin if I remember correctly. Which also helps move the sperm in males and causes the leakage of breastmilk to occur*…” walking back and forth, he cups his chin in his hand. “Oxytocin is also released during sexual intercourse. And with sexual intercourse comes reproduction…”

Mumbling to himself, Albedo gets lost in thought. He was in a state of denial now – it was his body, yes. His body wanted to reproduce, and as such, you came to mind. His brows furrow once he comes up with that conclusion he pulled from his ass. That doesn’t sound right. It doesn’t feel right in the slightest.

It felt like he was downgrading you, in a way.

With a sigh, he slumps into his chair behind the desk. It was very cold in Dragonspine, yet the icy winds don’t bite at his skin. Maybe it was the fire, or maybe it was because he was in a cave, his own little private lab away from Mond. Away from civilization, able to stay lost in his thoughts without worrying about anything happening. Of course, his assistants come by to check up on him. Sometimes they must drag him out, worried about his well-being and wanting him to have some sort of human contact.

He finds himself hoping that he’ll see you first every time he steps into the city. He usually does now that he thinks about it. You have your own little stand, set up by the entrance. He mostly goes to your shop, seeing as you sell unique items he could use. Items like Hurricane seeds and slime. Things he could get if he defeated the monsters who dropped him, that he could technically get for free. But it was a lot of effort, even for someone skilled such as him.

Besides, he likes the way your voice sounds whenever you great him. Or the way your eyes narrow at the end whenever you smile and gleam in the sun. And the way you say his name sends him to cloud nine. Not only that he doesn’t have to waste his energy on fighting, as he can simply buy the materials he needs. So, what if he has to spend a little bit of mora?

“…being in denial about all of this would be useless in the end. For many it just makes them fall deeper until they can longer return. Hopefully, this…attraction will go away after a bit.”

Only it never did.

Even with the passage of time, his feelings never withered away like he had hoped. Instead, he found himself missing you. Missing your smile, your voice, your touch. Just missing…you. He wonders if you miss him too. You give him friendly smiles, notice all his little habits while no-one else did. You asked about his work if he was in the mood for chattering and he would answer.

“Maybe I should…take a trip to Mondstadt. I’m running out of supplies anyway. A trip to Blache’s and (names) should do the trick.”

Denial was useless, in this situation. Because Denial always makes everything worse.

[beneathstarryskies]

Hatake Kakashi NSFW Alphabet

Once again, I was bored so this was not a request. However, gotta shout out @actuallysaiyan because so many of these headcanons came from conversations we've had about Kakashi.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Anything you might want or need right after, Kakashi is here for you. He’s already getting you a glass of water and a washcloth before you even think to ask, and don’t even bother trying to get it yourself.

The cuddling and pillow talk while bathing in the afterglow is so soothing to him. He’s happy to lay beside you for hours just talking nonsense and playing with your hair.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On himself, Kakashi doesn’t have much of a preference. He has noticed how much you like tugging on his hair when he’s got his face buried between your thighs and he likes that shit so much.

Kakashi can’t choose between your tits or your thighs. He loves laying his head on both while you play with his hair or rub his back. He also likes to have his face buried between both parts. Don’t make him choose.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Kakashi is really happy to cum wherever you would prefer him to do it. He doesn’t have a preference because as far as he’s concerned it’s a win no matter what. You look good with his cum painting your skin and it feels wonderful when you swallow. Cumming inside of you is very intimate, and he really likes that about it. However, for the same reason he likes it, he’d also probably be kind of shy about it at first. He would definitely ask about it and make sure you’re okay with it.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Kakashi reads smut in public. He doesn’t really keep his dirty secrets very secret.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Kakashi is more sexually experienced than one would assume. It’s always been casual and usually, he’s never seen them again. He tried to use sex to mend himself but found he just felt lonelier than ever. The thing that’s new to him is actual intimacy.

Again, he reads smut in public. He knows what to do. Not to mention he’s very perceptive and he will pick up on how you react to certain things easily.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Kakashi has a lot of positions he likes, but he does like any position in which you’re riding him. He’ll grip onto your hips to guide your pace, digging his short fingernails into your skin as he gets closer to cumming.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Kakashi can sometimes get nervous and crack silly little jokes, but for the most part, he tries to be more focused and serious.

H = Hair (how well-groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Kakashi is not super hairy naturally. He does have a little silver happy trail leading into a small patch of darker gray pubic hair that’s just barely noticeable. It doesn’t require much grooming.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

When Kakashi fucks you, he makes you feel as though you’re the only person in the whole world. He’ll whisper in your ear how much he loves you and how beautiful you are. Long, languid, open-mouthed kisses are frequent.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He doesn’t really jack off very much. Even when he was single, it just never did it for him. Sometimes when he feels stressed he’ll do it as a way to relax. Other than that, it’s just not something he does a lot.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Kakashi loves it when you wear lingerie for him, especially anything that’s lace or silk.

He’d also really like playing around with blindfolds, bondage, and overstimulation. He’d like for you to do those things to him just as much as he’d like to do them to you.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

His favorite place to do it is your apartment, but as for the specifics, he’s not picky. On the couch, kitchen table, bending you over the counter, in the shower, on the bed. He really doesn’t care.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Kakashi loves it when you whisper naughty things in his ear, especially out in public. He’ll think about it all day. Also, anytime you do something sweet/nurturing for him he would just want you immediately.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Kakashi isn’t huge on degradation. Also, he wouldn’t want to do anything to inflict pain on you and definitely wouldn’t want it done to him.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He loves to give you oral. He would stay between your thighs until you’re so overstimulated that your thighs are basically squeezing his head. He loves it, and he’s very good at it.

As far as receiving, Kakashi is mess as soon as your mouth is around him. He’ll be moaning and lightly thrusting deeper down your throat. His hands would tangle in your hair and he’d whisper, “Feels so good. So fucking good.”

He’s almost embarrassed by how quickly you can get him to the brink. The man is just so damn touch-starved, and he never gets enough. He’s pretty good about warning you when he’s about to cum, but sometimes his mind just goes blank.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He tends to be more slow and sensual. Of course, he has his moments where he just wants to bend you over the nearest surface and pound into you. This just isn’t his typical mood.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Kakashi prefers longer sessions, but sometimes they can be fun. Remember when he gave Team 7 the bell test and then he disappeared during lunch? Yeah, you were definitely having a quickie in the woods.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Kakashi kind of just likes what he likes. He’d be game to experiment, but he has certain boundaries he won’t cross.

As far as risks, it would really depend on what the risk is. Getting caught? Nope, he would die from the embarrassment. There’s a difference between reading Icha Icha in public and actually getting caught fucking.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Kakashi is kind of embarrassed because at first, he cums kind of quickly. He gets better about lasting longer as time goes on, but if you do things just right he’ll still cum quickly. He makes up for it by being able to go multiple rounds.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

During your relationship, he’s accumulated blindfolds, rope, and a vibrator. He will happily use them on you, and let you use them on him as well.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He is the biggest fucking tease. Kakashi loves teasing you and will do so for as long as he wants. You’ll basically have tears in your eyes begging him to fuck you or let you cum before he gives in. He’s very smug about it too.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s not very loud. He’ll let out some moans and mutter some dirty talk. Other than that, he’s pretty tame with noises.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

If Kakashi has gotten a good night’s sleep (which is SUPER RARE) he will wake up feeling really horny. More than once you’ve woken up with him sleepily grinding against you.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Kakashi is about 8 inches long with average girth. He’s got a nice curve that allows him to easily hit all the most sensitive spots inside you.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Kakashi is depressed, so his sex drive isn’t always going to be the highest. More often than not, he’s yearning for touch and comfort more than he is sex. That being said, when he is horny he’s very horny.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Kakashi generally just doesn’t sleep well. So he’ll probably lay beside you for a couple of hours just listening to you breathe before he falls asleep.

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: August 8th

Well, doing big posts all together worked for a while but lately I’ve been putting it off because it takes a long time to get them done. I think I’m gonna try switching back to answering asks whenever I can fit it in and posting them one at a time instead of waiting until I’ve filled out one of these major collections.

But for now, here’s more ask answers! Thank you for the questions and for all the kind words along with them ^^.

Hello!! I'm here to ask if its possible to get  the game and its dlcs on steam and play it on android?

I’m afraid not. Steam doesn’t have Android builds on their own site and Steam is not cool with keys for other sites being given out for Steam purchases, so you don’t get the Itch version from buying on Steam.

Hello! Sorry to bother you but, I had a question, if we buy the Game on itchio do we get steam keys or would we need to purchase it twice? 

You would have to buy it twice if you want it in both places, I’m sorry. To repeat myself a little, Steam doesn’t like the key trading thing. Itch may support giving keys for another site, but the reverse isn’t doable with Steam and Steam doesn’t even really want you to get a Steam key for buying somewhere else either. So we just don’t mess around with that.

hey, sorry if this is frequently asked, but is step 4 free dlc or paid for? some of your sources are contradicting each other. 

It’s free! There’s a paid wedding DLC, but Step 4 itself is entirely unpaid.

Hello! I just had a quick question, for the Baxter and Derek DLC's will we be able to confess our feelings to them or let them confess to MC? or will it only be one way? (they confess to MC)

Both type of options will be available!

Hey there! I wanted to ask whether or not the Derek DLC is still on track to be released in August since on the steam discussion board it says it will be released mid 2021. I totally understand if it isn't, I'm just really looking forward to it! If you answer then ty! And keep up the amazing work :D 

It’s not, aha. Unfortunately, 2021 wasn’t easier than 2020 as we hoped so things are still slower than planned. It’ll come out late 2021 or early 2022.

Hi! Firstly I just want to say that I LOVE Our Life. I have played a bit of similar games but this one instantly wins for the best one! Everything about it is amazing! I just wanted to ask if Derek would ever lose feelings for MC, like if they make the deal and then MC gets with Cove would he move on? and even if you don't, after "losing contact" would his feeling fade or would he still like MC? 

If you don’t really keep in touch with him and clearly move on with your life, Derek will too and he’ll be over it. But if you are still close as best as you can be, he’ll still think the MC is special. Though, he’ll always support your relationship with someone else if that’s what’ll make you happy.

Hello! Sorry if you've answered this before but: 'How's Lee related to us? Though which momma? And does she share our player-chosen last names? Also, do you know if Noelani took Pam's last name or did it happen the other way round? 

She’s related to Pamela and Pamela’s last name is the one they use, so the MC has the same last name as Lee.

Will we be able to choose which (they or he) we tend to call Qiu by more often, or will it randomly change depending on the moment? 

Qiu knows which pronoun they’re comfortable with at a time and you’ll call them what they’re happy with. And it doesn’t change between lines, it takes multiple scenes or even full Steps for it to switch. So for extended periods Qiu will be totally a guy or fully agender.

Will Step 4 of OL2 have moments?

It’ll be an epilogue like it is in OL1, so it won’t have a bunch of different Moments.

Hello! Just a quick question, is Sunset bird from OL1 based on a real location? If so what's it called? I wanna visit it +_+

ps i love your games so much <3

It isn’t based on one specific town you can go to, but there are a lot of little coastal towns in Cali that have a similar vibe!

Heyaaa ( I hope you're all well ), umm… it might seem kinda stupid to ask but did Patreon members can have a key for the dlc's ( all the steps-released dlc ) even if they became a member this month or later ? (me? saying this cuz it's my case? maybe ;-;), and once again thanks for absolutely all the amazing works on all the games ! u-u 

You wouldn’t get the DLCs for backing there. The Patreon is for extra bonus content/early access, rather than being a storefront to purchase the normal DLCs. Rarely we give them out as a side gift, but it hardly happens and if what you want is the DLCs it’s best to ignore the Patreon and  buy keys for those directly from Itch or Steam. I’m sorry for the confusion.

Hey y'all, love what youre doing w/Terry. Trans rep outside of player customization is so rare and important to see more of so thank you so much. I do have a question and its that does he have a canon sexuality? I know Miranda was said to be straight ace but I dont believe anything was stated for Terry probably because he wasnt revealed to be a guy which changes things. Im also curious if well get answers on how long hes liked Miranda since he may have liked her in step 3 before she liked him 

Terry likes women and Randy likes men! And he did like Miranda back in Step 3.

Will the Wedding Dlc release at the same time as Step 4? 

They’ll come out separately with Step 4 releasing first.

I really love Our Life so much! I've spent over 20hours playing it even though I only got it a week ago! I was wondering if I could make a fangame for Our Life with a different love interest but same plot. Next-door neighbors romance, multiple steps, etc? I'll probably make it on Google Slides though- 

Sure! I hope you have fun with it and I’m glad you love the game.

How does Cove feel about poly relationships? 

He’s got nothing against them for the people they work for, but he’s 100% monogamous and would only be comfortable with a partner who was willing to be monogamous with him.

Idk if this has been answered before but will Step 4 include the option to advance your feelings towards Cove? 

Yep, you’ll be able to determine your feelings and what your relationship is.

In step 4 will there be a chosen to say we live with Cove even as just friends? 

Yeah, you can choose to live with Cove and that can be done when you’re friends.

I just played the game with the MC and Cove being best friends and omg it’s still so damn cute like the wholesomeness of it all is too much for my heart I swear ^.^  Now with that all said I was wondering can we still marry Cove? if we only love him as a friend like let’s say we’ve made deal with him similar to the one we can make with Derek because let’s real no one could compete with what the MC and Cove have even if they aren’t in love. 

It’s great to hear you enjoyed the friendship story! You can live with Cove, but you can’t marry him platonically. Cove has familial affection for the MC if they’re best-est friends. He wouldn’t think to marry someone he loves like family and even grew up with as though they truly were siblings.

Are you still going to be making a DLC for XOBD? :] 

Yes! We’re slowing adding voiced lines and fixing errors.

It makes me laugh that Shiloh's last name is Fields because that's what I put as my last name! So in Our Life when he talked about "Ms. Fields" picking him up I was extremely confused, lol. That dude mimics personalities so much that he stole my surname!

Oh, wow, that’s a very funny coincidence, haha.

hi !! i cant seem to be able to get the scene where mc is able to propose to cove despite being at the 'love' stage and telling him i'd want to get married, are there any other details that im missing out on? the options just dont appear at the end... 

Maybe you missed telling Cove you were in love with him even if you mentioned wanting to get married or you might’ve accidentally said earlier in the game that you don’t want to progress your relationship further with Cove. We haven’t removed them, so you can get the scene again. It’s just kind of easy to miss since there’s multiple requirements. You can read a little guide in the FAQ.

wait what di you need to do to be able to propose to cove? I've been trying but haven't had much luck 

You can check out the FAQ linked above!

does cove only develop a crush on the mc if the mc is also at crush/in love with him? 

Technically, yes. We treat the non-romantic relationship options as truly non-romantic since we don’t want to bait and switch people. But there’s nothing wrong with headcanoning that Cove does have feelings developing for the MC even before the MC has.

Is there a way to make/allow Lee and Baxter to date?

No, they just don’t have enough time together.

We also got a group of asks related to Tamarack in OL2, but I’m afraid the way they talked about people with larger bodies made me not want to post their words, even if the person didn’t say they’re trying to be hurtful. I will separate out the core question and answer it though, so people can know that info.

Does Tamarack lose weight in later Steps?

No, she doesn’t. As for the other questions included, to be honest, I don’t have to explain/defend having romance options of different sizes. I’m sorry if you’re dealing with unhappiness that’s connected to body image, if that’s where the negative emotions are coming from, but even so I can’t meet you on that level and pretend it’s a problem that needs an answer. A girl who simply isn’t thin being a main love interest is just not an unreasonable concept. Also, Tamarack isn’t a lesbian. Yes, she can date a female MC, but that doesn’t undo her actual sexuality, so I’m not sure where that one part at the end was coming from.

I wonder... can we "fight" with Qiu over leader status? 👀

Not really, haha. No matter how cool your MC is, they’re never gonna replace Qiu for the other kids around. So you can either partner up with him, follow him too, or not be a part of all that group politics stuff.

So when I play the game, sometimes I mentally call Cove “Covie/Covey” and that made me wonder, how does Cove feel about being nicknamed? Not like Romeo/Space Cadet/etc. but like pet names relating to his actual name

It’d depend on his age, personality, and your relationship with him! When he’s younger he’d probably be embarrassed, when he was grown he’d probably be more casual or happy about it.

will you be able to date baxter in step 3 while at crush with cove (but not dating him ofc) sorry if this has been asked already. i really love baxters step 4 design btw!! 

Yeah, you can be crushing on Cove and date Baxter if you weren’t already dating Cove. You just can’t be truly in love with Cove and then switch to Baxter.

I just got my friend into our life, and they adore shiloh and derek sooo will there be more of them in the second game? 

I’m afraid not. But you can see plenty more of Shiloh in XOXO Droplets/XOXO Blood Droplets, haha.

I see you haven't gotten any xoxo droplets asks recently but I'm still obsessed with these boys!! I was just wondering if Nate would curse under any circumstance? 

Yeah, Nate does use certain swear words (damn, hell, bastard) on very rare occasions.

Hi there! I have a question about the wedding dlc. Will we be able to plan a honeymoon during the planning stages of it or would it be something that Cove and the mc would rather plan later on? Thank you! Absolutly love the game by the way, definitely one of my favorite games! 

The focus will be on the wedding day itself. The topic of the honeymoon might come up a bit, but there won’t be any choosing of the exact location and such.

Hi! I have two questions and it's completely understandable if you only answer one/neither and I'm sorry if you've already answered either before! First, is there a set year in which OL:B&A takes place (ex: Step 1 being set in 2010 & Step 2 being set in 2016, etc.) or is it simply up to interpretation? Second, have you guys thought about doing a coming-of-age game where the MC has a tough home life or upbringing? (like one of their parents is an addict, a parent being transphobic whilst the player has the option to be trans, or having friends that are influencing them to do drugs, etc.) That's all! Thanks for making beautiful games. <3 

There is a set timeline!

Step 1: 2006 Step 2: 2011 Step 3: 2016 Step 4: 2021 

And we don’t currently plan on making a game like that. The Our Life series exists to be a safer environment for people to play around in and if we did do a brand new series that was harsher edged it’d be something more fantastical and/or plot-driven instead of a different type of modern day slice-of-life growing up story. I’m sorry.

i don’t know if you’ve already answered this, but do you have a guess on when phase 4 will come out? as well as ol2? i’m so excited for both of them, the inclusivity in this game is amazing, you guys should be really proud of it! 

Step 4 will be coming out very soon! OL2 is gonna take until 2023 to be anywhere near completion. But we might episodically release the Steps one at a time as they get done instead of waiting for three to be finished before launch like we did with the first game.

Hello, I was curious if there was an official or unofficial discord server for the game? 

We do have a discord! You can join by clicking this link HERE.

how long do you plan to keep ol's patreon running? 

Hopefully for at least a few more years.

Are you considering ever making merch? 

Yeah, but I don’t know when it’ll happen or what exactly we’ll make, aha. It’s something we want do, just nothing is set.

hi! i just found out about your game a couple of days ago on tiktok (so sorry if you’ve already answered this question) and i was wondering if y’all are ever planning to release it on iOS? 

I have no idea. It’s hard for a small group to get Apple approval and I honestly can’t say if it’ll ever happen or not. Maybe someday, though!

Hi, I love the art style of Our life and I would like to know if the artist has a Twitter? Also, could it be possible to fund more CGs for the game from him/her? So many times, I wish there was one like when the cutscene of the sunshower. 

That’s nice of you to offer. He doesn’t have a Twitter, at least not one that’s public enough to be shared with me. And I’m afraid not. The issue is that the CGs take huge amounts of time rather than there not being a budget for it. He’s gotta make CGs for Step 4, the DLCs, and new character sprites, too. There isn’t space in the schedule for even more. Sorry for that.

Hi, how are you?!

Are you planning on accepting new writers or is it always the same people who write your stories??

Thanks!!

Our Life: Beginnings & Always won’t be getting new writers, but we will be hiring a new team of writers for Our Life: Now & Forever eventually!

perhaps this counts as nsfw and I'm sure it has been answered before but what does Cove prefer, chests/boobs or butts? or perhaps both :3c thank you for this wonderful game (and the patreon bonus moment, it was worth all the waiting and more ♥) 

He’s a “chests of all shapes and sizes” kind of guy, haha.

i was wondering- did any of the writers actually grow up by the beach? as someone who's lived in a beach town all their life it really did feel nostalgic to play through our life 1 

I was born and raised in Cali! Though, not right by the beach. We still had to make trips out, but the setting is based on my own childhood memories of small beach towns we went through.

In Derek’s upcoming DLC, will we be able to reference the pact we made as teens? (love olba and xod/xobd so much btw you’re literally amazing) 

Yep, you will be able to talk about that!

Oh, sorry about the Cole being secretly L ask, then!

If you wanted context: Death Note is about this one guy who finds a notebook that kills anyone who you write the name of in there. The guy eventually develops a God Complex and starts mass killing criminals and stuff. L is the one trying to find out who is killing all these people.

Me and my sister first joked about it because I couldn't remember how to translate a word about the way Cove was sitting, so I just did the pose, and it looked a lot like how L himself sits! Then we just snowballed from there, with more and more nonsense connections.

That’s okay! Thanks for explaining. I’m sorry I didn’t know what you meant.

[faithandfairies]

Turning Red

I’m watching Turning Red and it is everything. The diversity is on point. And it just reminds me what it was like being a kid. 

Also I’m pretty sure Miriam is gay. Her outfit is definitely gay coded. Can’t get a read on Mei’s sexuality. Where she’s at reminds me of me at that age. So I’m just going to ship Miriam with Mei until the cows come home.

I don’t know a single Indian girl who wore her hair down before high school so personally I think they should have put Priya in some type of braid. Still, I like all the characters’ looks.

The red panda thing is also totally a metaphor for periods and PMS. 

This whole thing is interesting. I don’t think the red panda is just a metaphor for periods. Periods are just the introduction, because for girls that’s seen as becoming a woman.

It’s as they say about emotions. It’s about puberty and first crushes. The panda only manifests when MeiMei starts daydreaming about a boy instead of being above it like she usually is. It also manifests following major embarrassment and as a lesson about embarrassment being all about perception.

This movie also keeps supporting my theory of the possibility of MeiMei’s sexuality being something other than straight.

From the fact that out of all of her friends it’s made clear from the start that Mei’s mom doesn’t like Miriam, which both surprises and seems to devastate Miriam. Mom’s view is that out of all Mei’s friends Miriam is odd. Which could be a code word for anything including mom picking up on Miriam’s gayness/feelings for her daughter that she’s trying to ignore.

It also makes sense since Miriam is the whitest of them and by default then seen as the least conservative.

Also, when Mei’s mom blames her friends for Mei’s behavior she’s mostly actually looking at and blaming Miriam. Which often happens in gay relationships. And with all other unacceptable behavior. It’s never your precious child that’s the homo/instigator, it has to be the other kid. Yours was just participating against their will.

[Parents forget that by claiming this they’re also saying their kid doesn’t have a brain or isn’t using it.]

But also, Mei can control the panda when she’s with her friends and she explains it as thinking about those she loves the most calming her and with it her panda down. Here’s the thing though, at all times Miriam is at the forefront of this. Both in Mei’s mind and in reality. 

And it’s interesting that the ritual requires singing because Mei’s friends pretty much do this when they first discover Mei’s panda. Miriam starts singing one of O-town, I mean 4-Town’s romantic songs to Mei. Something that actually resonates with Mei. She and the others join in. And it calms her down. Her friends perform their own ritual, only it’s a ritual of acceptance.

In contrast, her family’s ritual comes off as a type of conversion therapy. Adequately painful as well. It’s all about stripping off the parts of her they dislike. All conveniently covered by the panda. It’s the part of her that speaks up for herself, stands up for herself, and therefore talks back to her parents. The part of her that wants to be her own person and choose her own path, whatever it may be.

People are so focused on the period scene and losing their minds about it and they’re not ready for the conversation of how this movie does a great job covering how sometimes well-meaning family exorcize anything other out of their children so they can become the individuals their parents want them to be. It covers hobbies/interests parents don’t understand, yes. But also sexuality.

Miriam has literally been taking care of Mei’s pixel child tamagotchi. They’re going to get married.

No, but seriously, it doesn’t have to be gay. Friends do this too. But I’m just saying the groundwork is there for it to be gay.

It just fits the narrative as well. Or is applicable.

But it is also about growth. And how that can hurt as well.

I also think the separation hurts if you fight it or it’s against your will. Like was the case with Mei. The grandmas didn’t seem to have an issue with letting go of their pandas. I’m guessing it’s because it was voluntary and they’ve done most of their growing for this lifetime.

My favorite scene has to be the superhero-esque sequence of the grandma and aunties to the rescue. Good stuff.

I really like where the major animation companies are taking their storytelling. Media is shifting, changing, and it’s about time. I’m here for it.

[thepapergirlandthespiegelman]

Castlevania Season 4: I’m not mad, just disappointed

Season 4 is poorly written fanfiction, which is...better than a lot of things could be, I guess.

Spoilers below the cut.

Content warning: trauma, sexual assault, psychological manipulation

The Gods Have Had a Change of Heart

Or, “Season 3 Blocked and Ignored”

Season 3 felt like the fabric of the universe had been twisted just to inflict additional pain. Season 4 overcompensates in the other direction; trauma evaporates, and good things happen for no other reason than to make our favorite characters happy.

The Season 3 finale left two characters in particular totally devastated: Alucard and Hector. Alucard is violently betrayed in a horrifying sexual assault by the first two people he’s spoken to since Trevor and Sypha left. He ends up killing them in self-defense and puts their bodies on stakes outside the castle, alluding to his father’s habit of doing so and potentially hinting at a turn toward evil. Hector is seduced by Lenore and then enslaved using a magic ring.

Yet at the start of Season 4, it’s as if these things never happened. Alucard is troubled, but not totally devastated, certainly not evil. Taka and Sumi are referenced in exactly one conversation with new character, Greta, in which she says the rather tactless throwaway line, “I had a boyfriend and girlfriend at the same time once. But they never tried to kill me.” Hector is nominally imprisoned, but immediately seems highly agentic, perhaps even more so than before. He studies, lays traps, and makes secret plans with other people. Furthermore, his relationship with Lenore is completely transformed. From falling to his knees in abject horror and despair at being enslaved, he suddenly switches to light banter, in what is apparently a basically okay, mutually enjoyed romantic/sexual relationship. Manipulative, selfish Lenore is now a sympathetic character struggling to reconcile her own role and feelings with Carmilla’s plans.

The events of season 3 happened, remaining canon in the most basic, literal sense. But the emotional weight attached to them has disappeared into thin air.

Not gonna lie, I did breathe a sigh of relief when I saw that Alucard and Hector were okay. I’m soft-hearted! I don’t like seeing characters I like suffer! I mean, conflict is important, and I can deal with (or even enjoy in a certain sense) seeing characters suffer if it makes sense and serves a narrative purpose. But as far as I can tell, the season 3 finale was nothing more than lurid, meaningless violence. I probably wouldn’t have continued watching the show if it devolved into nothing more than finding novel ways to torture the characters.

Still, it doesn’t feel quite right to pretend like nothing happened either. Or, really, not that nothing happened, but that those things didn’t matter, didn’t hurt, didn’t leave lasting scars. That’s...almost kind of worse.

But, I thought, I can sort of forgive this sudden shift in the stars, given that there may have been some sort of change in creative direction relating to Ellis’ decreased involvement with the show.* Plus, season 3 was insanity. It’s not like it was full of great writing choices, so if we quietly ignore some of them, maybe that’s for the best.

*I only later learned that Netflix actually chose to continue with Ellis’ season 4 scripts. It is not lost on me that maybe Ellis doesn’t know how to write about the lasting effects of traumatic sexual experiences or how power dynamics can make a sexual relationship problematic because he doesn’t understand that those things exist.

Characters Being Nobody and Nothing Happening

Pretty Pictures, Not Much Else

Unfortunately, the disconnect between seasons 3 and 4 isn’t the only problem with this season. Although I felt that season 4 was a bit less boring than season 3 (I particularly enjoyed some of the earlier episodes of season 4), it suffers from the same basic problems of Characters Being Nobody and Nothing Happening.

None of the characters experience any significant development, let alone any sort of coherent arc. Sypha has changed slightly, becoming more rough and jaded. I did really like the scene where she talks about becoming the kind of person who says “shit.” I think it really speaks to how entering into a relationship with someone means taking on aspects of their lifestyle, and how that can change you in ways that you can’t predict and therefore can’t exactly “agree” to. Sometimes those changes are good, sometimes they’re bad, sometimes they’re neutral, and sometimes it’s difficult to know. But you have to accept that you’re sacrificing some aspects of the person that you could have been if you chose to live completely independently, or with someone else.

Trevor really hasn’t changed since season 1 when he first decided to take up the mantle of hero again. Likewise with Alucard. Hector and Lenore change, as previously noted, but that change is sudden, jarring, and occurs completely off screen in between seasons 3 and 4. Carmilla dies as exactly as she lived: bitter, angry, and violent. Saint Germain just kind of...gets fucked over in a nonsensical subplot, which is its own whole can of worms.

We also get several new characters in season 4, none of whom have developed personalities or motives, nor do they develop any of those things over the course of the season: Greta, Zamfir, Varney, Ratko.

And nobody. Does. Anything.

Trevor and Sypha spend the entire season trying to explore and aid Targoviste, which comes to absolutely nothing. They’re unable to help anyone, Zamfir dies, and they end up just jumping through a magic portal to the actually relevant subplot in the finale. Carmilla literally does little more than draw maps until she’s ultimately killed. Hector plays a minor role in Saint Germain’s extraction of Dracula from Hell; otherwise, he and Lenore basically just exchange banter. Saint Germain does sort of do some stuff? But it’s often unclear how he’s made his connections, who the people who are helping him are, or what exactly he’s doing in terms of his magic beyond “whatever it takes to get back to his lover.”

Sure, there are fight scenes, but they feel meaningless. There’s no context, no stakes. There’s also a LOT of dialogue, and it is. Not well written. Exposition is embarrassingly clumsy at times, and the philosophical musings are cliche at best, muddled and confusing at worst. There’s just not all that much going on.

That is, except for Isaac. But more on him in a second.

What Kind of Show Is This?

When the plot line adapted from Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse ended with season 2, the show struggled to establish a new identity.

Despite nominally dealing with themes like whether humanity is inherently good or evil and how to cope with wrongdoing and loss, seasons 1 and 2 ultimately boiled down to a pretty generic action-adventure/fantasy plot with found family/power of friendship elements. Main characters Trevor, Sypha, and Alucard don’t really wrestle with big philosophical questions or suffer any major defeats. They know that they have to take down Dracula for the good of the world, and they work together as a team to do it, with a little character development relating to their various backstories sprinkled in.

Then season 3 happened, and things got weird. The trio is broken up for what feels like a pretty trivial reason—Alucard has to protect the castle and Belmont hold, I guess? And the result of that decision is that the dynamics for the three main characters are completely unbalanced.

Ellis openly admits that he basically went feral with the writing of season 3, and it shows. The messaging in seasons 1 and 2 was cliche, but consistent. The message of season 3? Anyone’s guess.

Season 4 reversed the darkening of tone from season 3, but shares its inability to pick a story and tell it.

Isaac is the Main Character

Always has been.

While I can’t say that his character or arc are perfect, I can say that he actually has a character and an arc. He starts off motivated by his fierce loyalty to Dracula, then has to struggle to find his purpose once Dracula is gone. He goes from subservient to agentic. He goes from fully endorsing the genocide of humanity and not caring about his own life to seeing some worth in humans and genuinely wanting to live. He has an interesting moment that deepens our understanding of what night creatures are, while also serving as an exploration of the meaning of one’s fundamental nature. Most importantly, these changes happen naturally over the course of the show. They never feel forced or out of the blue, and while I feel like even more could have been done with Isaac’s character, there’s a lot to appreciate about what is there.

If there’s any thread holding Castlevania as a single, coherent work together, it’s Isaac. Not only is his character the best executed and the most coherent over the course of the show, his character explores themes that are larger than himself and relevant to the show as a whole, like those mentioned earlier: misanthropy versus a belief in the value of humanity; the ability to go beyond one’s “nature” or initial circumstances; and how to respond to being wronged or losing something important to you. Exploring the individual lives of characters is great, but really good writing usually requires going beyond that to reflect on broader questions and ideas. Isaac is the only character here that serves that larger purpose.

Sorry...I Just Don’t Buy It

The season 4 finale is crazy, although in a different way from season 3′s.

Varney being Death makes no sense on several different levels. I’m not going to spend a lot of time picking that particular plot twist apart, but I will talk about why I think it doesn’t work at the largest scale, and how I think season 4 might have been done better.

Last minute twists with zero foreshadowing are rarely a good idea, and this is no exception. Why introduce this “Death” entity at the last minute to be the most important battle of the season? The finale of the entire show, even? Besides the lack of logic or emotional buildup, this robs the show of the opportunity to make use of the antagonists that it already has. Since Dracula died, Carmilla has been the obvious choice for a new big bad. Why hasn’t she done more?

Season 4 feels crowded with characters and plot lines that amount to nothing. Why not bring some of these characters together? If Carmilla is the main antagonist, how come she never meets any of the protagonists (except Hector, who is a pretty minor player in this ecosystem) or even affects them in any way?

Season 4 feels like maybe it was trying to make something out of season 3 and the model that it presented, but it ultimately fails to do so. The writers throw the trio back together at the end anyway, so why not have them rejoin sooner and work together? Maybe Sypha and Trevor’s past experience with Saint Germain could have helped Alucard and Greta piece together what he was plotting sooner, rather than all four of them being completely blindsided by it in the penultimate episode. (Sypha and Trevor know that someone is trying to resurrect Dracula, but they fail to find out any actual detail about the plans, despite their supposed attempts.) Have characters actually do stuff, figure stuff out, advance the plot!

Likewise, maybe Carmilla becomes aware of Saint Germain’s scheming, sees it as a threat, and tries to take him down. Maybe she tries to get involved and somehow use alchemy or the Infinite Corridor to her own benefit. What does it look like when power-hungry Carmilla, who wants to rule the world, finds out there’s an entire multiverse out there? That could easily set her up to be a foil to Saint Germain, causing him to realize that what he’s doing is wrong.

What actually ended up happening in the show feels disjointed and often empty. In particular, most of the events that happen in the last two episodes just don’t really work for me. I didn’t like Trevor suddenly sacrificing himself to this random, new, super powerful enemy, or how the gems and dagger that he found just happened to be the perfect weapon to kill this new enemy, or how he inexplicably returns from the dead.

This kind of thing is what I mean when I say that this season feels like fanfiction. Trevor comes back from the dead for no discernible reason other than that it would really suck if he died. Greta as a character seems to literally only exist to be Alucard’s girlfriend and support him so that he doesn’t have to continue to be alone and potentially turn evil. Alucard’s trauma from Taka and Sumi and Hector’s trauma from Lenore are both conveniently erased. Even Dracula and Lisa are resurrected somehow and get their happy ending. And it’s like, I guess I prefer deus ex machina to the opposite (Does that have a name? When everything is going well but then something terrible happens for no reason other than to make things worse for the characters?), but they’re both bad writing.

God. This isn’t even getting into what happened with the Council of Sisters. And I don’t even really like those characters, but that doesn’t mean I want to see their characters handled poorly.

I’m not sorry that I watched until the end, but I can’t in good faith recommend the show as a whole. If you’ve yet to watch Castlevania, just stop at the end of season 2. While there are some shining moments in seasons 3 and 4 (4 more than 3), it’s just really not worth it.

[rason-rodd]

Do You Know Your Alphabet?

NSFW Edition feat Jason Todd

(I tried not to give a sexual orientation to Jason in this NSFW Alphabet and make his partner as gender neutral as possible to please all sorts of readers. Apologies if some part doesn’t include all genders. I honestly did my best and I will happily modify them if you tell me how.)

A – Anal:         When he is dating someone with a vagina, Jason rarely asks for anal sex. He prefers pussy to ass but if his partner wants him to use the back door he will happily do so.             However, his partner has to keep in mind that Jason always needs to be very testosterone-y and in full-dominant mode to fuck them in the ass.           In a relationship with someone with a penis, Jason will usually be the one who fucks in the ass rather than the one who is fucked in the ass though he can accept to swap roles from time to time.

B – BDSM:     That will be a non-negotiable “NO”. Even though he is fully aware that BDSM doesn’t only rhyme with pain but also with consent and pleasure, Jason is not a fan of it as hinted and stated many times in Red Hood and The Outlaws.             We can suppose that it is because BDSM can let some poorly buried trauma surface by reminding Jason of bad memories that includes ropes and a crowbar.    

C- Condom:   Only when needed. Like most men, Jason doesn’t like the lack of sensation that wearing a condom involves but he is smart and responsible enough to know there are moments when you need to wear one.       At a beginning of a relationship, he will always choose to wear one until he is sure that there are no risks to transmit any sort of STD. But once he knows everything is safe he will gladly ask his partner to either stop using protection and/or take contraception like a pill if said partner can get pregnant. Being a father is not in his plans and it actually scares him.            

D- Dominance:           Jason is a caring and highly protective boyfriend with fear of abandonment issues and those traits ultimately makes him a very possessive lover.         And it shows in bed. His possessiveness coupled with his passion and devotion to his SO makes him the type of man that permanently tries to assert his dominance. But this so-called dominance is not a way to show who’s the man in this relationship or who’s wearing the pants. It is just a clumsy way to show that he is a fully committed and devoted lover who is always struggling to please his partner out of fear of not being good enough and eventually abandoned. (Who said men were not complicated sometimes?)       Moreover, Jason fucks according to his mood and so his dominance always varies. Sometimes dominance can simply mean him on top and sometimes it can be synonymous of hard deep pounding from behind. Jason can indeed be a rough lover but he will never be the type to lay a hand on his SO. So you can forget any sort of slap or strangulation. He is a fighter in the streets but a lover under the sheets.       But submission is very rarely his thing. Sure he will adore making love with a partner as passionate as he is and will forever be turned on by someone who can match his strength and therefore who will not mind standing up to him. But if you think you can tame him forever you’re so wrong.         Jason will occasionally let you lead the way in the bedroom and he will be happy to let you do so as he will see your sudden dominance the same manner he sees his (meaning a symbol of love and devotion). But any relationship in which the place of alpha male is permanently refused to him will leave him unsatisfied and frustrated.

E- Ejaculation:             One thing is sure; Jason can’t cum in a condom. When wearing one, he will always make sure to remove it to spurt his semen on his partner. Most of the time it is on their ass, chest or pussy. He will generally never cum on someone’s face though but will see no problem in cumming in someone’s mouth for as long as they swallow that load.           But what he loves the most is to cum inside his partner (which is also another reason why he is not a fan of condoms). He finds a certain pleasure in doing so, finding the act rather intimate and weirdly romantic. He would never cum inside someone he doesn’t love or barely know.

F- Foreplay:     Jason never forgets foreplay even if his body begs him to just fuck his partner and get it over with. To him, foreplay is necessary when you do the deed. Without that Jason will feel like something is missing and view the sexual act as botched.         But to Jason Todd foreplay doesn’t only revolve around handjobs, fingering, oral sex or any other physical display. Of course he will happily do all of that but Jason is an intellectual and so he will definitely consider words as a form of foreplay. And sometimes they even arouse him more than the rest. Few naughty text messages telling him how much you miss him and his cock inside of you and the man will run back to you as fast as The Flash, his penis as hard as a stone pillar. And when that happens, you might get yourself prepared, as he won’t take much time to kiss or cuddle.

G- Gear and tool:       Mother Nature blessed Jason Todd and gave him one hell of a cock that matches his broad physique! It is veiny and circumcised, long, way longer than average actually, and its girth is going to stretch and fill any hole perfectly.           But this beautiful gear is not always a blessing. Indeed, you cannot take Jason’s whole cock in your mouth without gagging or chocking (though some people don’t mind that) and if you’re not lubed enough penetration can definitely hurt. So playing with that amazing tool demands patience and time.     His testicles are even and rather large when you think about it but they suit the P.  

H- Hairs:         Jason is a hard-worker but he is extremely lazy when it comes to taking care of himself. Plus, that laziness is also coupled with the fact that he doesn’t have much time to really mind his appearance. When he is monopolized by his vigilante work, he can spend days without shaving (and sometimes showering) and not really realise that he is in an urgent need of a razor. A chance that he is not a man that tends to be very hairy!           But to be honest, Jason doesn’t mind hairs in general and there are actually places he refuses to shave like his legs, his arms and the sexy line of dark hairs he has under his bellybutton.     But when he actually takes time to clean and shave, he always makes sure that his armpits are not bushy, that there are no hairs on his chest and his face and that his pubic hairs are nicely trimmed (He hates shaving them.)     When it comes to his partner, Jason can tolerate some hairs but he prefers when they are either fully-shaven or well-trimmed. He doesn’t like eating hairs when eating his SO out.

I- Intimacy:     Jason is very ambiguous and difficult to understand when it comes to intimacy.   As a possessive lover, he will always refuse to share his partner with another ‘alpha male’. He needs to be the centre of attention and the only person craved and praised in the bedroom. So when dating Jason you can forget any sort of threesome or orgy.           But if his partner is interested in welcoming a person that might not overshadow Jason and let him keep his dominant place between the sheets (for example a woman) then he may accept. Single, he will happily mingle with a couple but he will somewhat see this as a competition or an opportunity to show who’s the best.           But there’s definitely something that he will prefer to threesomes and that’s being watched or heard while having sex.           No, he won’t drag you to some swinger’s club and allow dozens of people watch you two having sex (he is a romantic) but you need to keep in mind that Jason is a man that doesn’t limit his sexual intercourses to his bedroom.             He actually loves fucking outside and/or in public places as the risks of getting caught or being heard have the tendency to get him highly turned on and have his juices flow. But he is not stupid enough to risk everything for a quick romp in front of others.             Weirdly, he prefers getting caught/ being heard by people he knows - and in that case he will not stop fucking his partner and show what an amazing lay he is – than by someone he doesn’t know. It boosts his ego and he can’t help it.       The only time getting caught traumatized him was when Alfred accidentally spotted him having sex in the manor. He didn’t dare catch his eye for days.    

J- Jerking off:   Jason can sometimes jerk off when he feels like he needs to release some stress and tension. But this solitary act requires a moment of intimacy he doesn’t often get because of his vigilantism that takes up all of his nights and energy. After a long night of patrol, given the choice, he will mostly choose sleeping over masturbation. But when he does jerk off, he always makes sure that no one is going to bother him (though he has fantasise about his crush watching him quite a few times) and he tends to think about situations rather than persons. The only times he will think about someone while masturbating will be when he has a crush on someone. Then he will imagine fucking this person and probably whisper their name.

K – Kink:         Jason can be kinky but he is not the kinkiest of the bat-family. There are things he will stubbornly never try or even consider (BDSM for example) but things he will gladly do on occasion (see Intimacy + Roleplay). As said before he won’t mix violence and love.   But the kinky side of Jason is just another way to spice up his relationship and show he is not a boring partner. Moreover, he is a boyfriend that takes consent and respect very seriously. He will never do anything that might hurt his SO in any way or anything they might not be confortable with.   That’s why he believes he and his partner have to talk about any sort of kinks before trying to experiment them. But he will prefer doing it through text messages than face to face. He is weirdly shy when talking about sex.

L - Love:           Jason has had a few one night stands but he will admit that sex is better when you’re in love. Plus, “sex gets better with time” would define Jason’s skills as a lover as he is the type of man that needs (and loves) taking his time to discover his partner’s body and desires. He is an enthusiastic learner that hasn’t yet discovered all the things he can know about sex. And that’s because he hasn’t had so many partners over the years.     Though don’t think that means your first time together is going to be bad. It won’t. On the contrary, it will be great but not as great as it can become.       Therefore we can jump to the conclusion that the persons that will only have Jason for one night will definitely miss something truly amazing.

M - Massage:     Jason has many qualities but giving massage is not a talent he can brag about. He is honestly not that bad at it but since he believes he sucks, he will not initiate in any sort of massage session. However, he loves getting one since he loves being touched and caressed especially on his chest and back. Actually, Jason believes that caresses and cuddles cannot be dissociated from the deed and views them as necessary before, during and after the act.         Also, he is the kind of men that will display his affection anytime he can though preferably in private. The rare PDA will occur if he feels jealous, threatened or worse, neglected (Don’t ever do that or the entire city will hear his wrath!).

N – Nudity:     When he is in a relationship Jason is not ashamed of his body but that doesn’t make him a body-confident man in general. Don’t expect seeing him walking around fully naked!     Indeed, Jason is modest and never sees his body as sexy. I mean, he knows he is muscular and well-built and all but as it is in his nature to focus on the negative, he will always be a bit hung up about the scars on his body and he will never let a one-night partner touch them or ask any sort of question about them. Only his SO will be allowed to do so and that shows how much trust and love Jason places in his relationships.

O – Oral sex:               To Jason, there’s nothing sexier than his partner sucking out his cock on their knees. It gives him satisfaction and boosts his ego like nothing else because he views this act as a symbol of submission and worship, two things he deeply cares about when having sex.           Fortunately he loves to reciprocate and he will not hesitate dropping on his knees to do the same. But don’t view it as him submitting to you. If that gorgeous man goes down, he goes down to make you scream his name, not to be your pet.           Also, it may be seen as an asshole move but if you refuse to suck his cock, do not expect him to give you oral sex. As terrible as it sounds and even though he puts his partner’s pleasure before his own, the man gives if only you give in return.

P – Position.   Jason is a romantic that craves touching and being touched and so he will always favours positions that allows him to feel his SO’s body against his or to roam their bodies with his strong hands or his lips. That’s why he will not appreciate being tied up and submitted.         Jason loves positions that allow him to go deep in his partner and to see himself do so. Plus, he likes sex to be a confortable experience for both his partner and himself. Therefore do not expect acrobatic positions that will leave you tired and aching for days. He doesn’t need that to make you feel that way. His top positions are: missionary, doggy, (reverse or not) cowgirl and spooning as they will all permit his hands and/or lips to wander your body.

Q – Quickie:   Jason is not really a fan of quickies as he want sex with him to be a memorable experience as well as a memento of his skills as a lover. Therefore, he strongly believes a 5 or 10 minutes sexual experience cannot show his partner what a good lay he is. And so, he will favour long nights of sweaty sex plus some good morning sex if the experience was highly pleasant.

R – Role Play: Jason is a good actor. He loves wearing disguise and impersonating different persons as we saw it quite regularly throughout RHATO. So if you want to role play, you bet he will be up for it and it will be a fun time. His favourite scenarios: the ones where he is in charge of course since they are the ones that allow him to display the little confidence he has without any sort of shyness or fear.     Do you like men with a moustache? Cause Malone Jr. is on his way.

S – Stamina:   Jason is kind, caring and generous out and under the sheets. He will always make sure to respect and please his partner, placing their pleasure before his own. But that doesn’t make him any less hungry than he is.           He is rather insatiable when having sex and that’s probably because he doesn’t have sex often even when in a relationship (damn patrols!). Therefore, that man can sometimes get carried away, be rather quick on the mount and become a bit of a jackhammer if his partner does not refrain him. And he won’t stop until he … you know.       Fortunately, his romantic side as well as his generosity will always remind him not to leave his partner unsatisfied at the end of the deed which miraculously doesn’t happen as quickly as one would expect given his frenetic pace.       Because he is athletic, Jason has a very good stamina. Plus, he is the kind of lover that can recuperate rather quickly and so he can go for a round two and even a round three if his partner is up for it.            

T – Talking:     Jason doesn’t consider himself a dirty-talker. Sure he will let out some naughty sentences while having sex but they will never be disrespectful. He won’t call his partner a whore or any other insulting words. On the contrary he will give compliments and make praises rain and he will happily accept the same from his partner in return.       He will also ask a lot of questions to reassure himself like “Do you like that?” or “Do you like my cock inside of you?” and he will also demand to be complimented (“Tell me how much you like it”) especially if his partner is silent (which is something he hates by the way).     He is not a very noisy lover. He never screams or moans loudly. He grunts and growls but those noises usually are very guttural as if he is fighting to keep them to himself. Don’t do the same though. Scream, talk and let the whole neighborhood he’s fucking you good!

U – Underwear:         Trunks or boxers but never briefs. Something that can hold his prominent package while he is running after criminals in Gotham City but that isn’t too tight around his thunder thighs. His underwear is generally unicolor and has no patterns. Dick bought him a pair of bat-briefs for fun once but he never wore them. Actually he probably threw them away. He likes his female partners to wear sexy fancy lingerie but he doesn’t see it as a necessary tool to be aroused. Simple underwear doesn’t turn him off but if there are some unicorns or rainbows on them … well … he might feel very uncomfortable and perplexed.          

V – Virginity:               He was around 16 or 17, living among the All-Caste and it was with Essence, Ducra’s daughter. Essence was Jason’s almost every first-times. Though she is not the first person he fell in love with, she was the first girl he kissed, the first girl he touched and the first girl he had sex with. Before that he had never really made out with anyone, as young Jason was the kind of boy more interested in books than in people. But Essence wasn’t just anyone. She was mysterious, fascinating and hard to get and those two traits are still something that Jason digs in a partner. If you ask Jason about his first time, he will tell you that even if he and Essence are not on best terms today, he doesn’t regret one bit of what happened with her. He truly loved her and she was here for him when no one else was.

W – Worship If you don’t know how to be complimentary then you might not be the right person for Jason. This man craves compliments and affection as much as one craves food and water.           Jason cannot thrive in a relationship with a selfish partner who doesn’t flatter him as he always feels the need to be worshipped. It’s not arrogance. It’s because he is permanently scared of not being good enough. See him as an unconfident little boy who needs recognition to be happy in a way.       But once you start demonstrating your admiration and affection for him, get ready to be showered with loving compliments. Worship goes in both ways in Jason’s mind. The more complimentary and loving you will be the more he will. And that works in the bedroom as well. Worship the man! Show him (and tell him!) how much you love him and how much you love what he is doing and you will be the most sexually satisfied person in the world. To make it short, worship is Jason’s fuel.   To finish, If he could worship one part of his lover’s body it would be their eyes. (Told you he was a romantic!). He loves to keep eye contact with his partner while having sex and see them sparkle with lust, pleasure and happiness.           

X- Xenophilia:             If you look at Jason’s list of love interests, you can spot some recurring characteristics. Physically, most of them have light hair. They are often blonds or red-heads and they often have got green or blue eyes. But that doesn’t mean he won’t be interested in brunettes (Talia, Donna) and reject anyone with dark eyes (Essence’s eyes were completely black!). Because what matters the most to him is chemistry. Jason wants someone he can trust, someone he can talk to and that will understand him but that also will call him on his bullshit and stand up to him when needed. In a word, be strong and be there for him.

Y – Yearn:       Unlike someone else in the bat-family (cough Dick cough), Jason will not drop his pants in a heartbeat and he doesn’t really fancy eager persons as well (Those persons are only good for one night). He loves the chase and he loves when the people he is interested in are playing hard to get. That will arouse him a lot and make him crave them even more.           When he wants to have sex, Jason will drop occasional hints to show his (potential) partner that he wants them. Usually, they will be caresses, kisses and/or languorous looks. He will never clearly say out loud that he wants to have sex. But he doesn’t mind when his partner drags him to the bedroom and initiate the deed. He finds that terribly sexy even, and super complimentary.

Z – Zzzzz:         Jason likes to sleep after sex with his naked partner huddled against him. Rest your head over his chest and hold him tight and he will be the happiest man in the world as, to him, it will mean ‘Stay. I feel safe with you’. But don’t expect to sleep all night especially if your relationship is brand new. You wanted Todd in your bed? You have him and he will not hesitate waking you up slowly if he wants to get in between your legs one more time. Hope you don’t mind.     Plus, Jason is not the “hump and go” type of man and he will always be there in the morning with his body probably pressed against yours. Though, if you’re a night stand there are risks he might never call you again.

[camelove]

FAQ

Who can join?

Are there any minimum requirements?

What are the themes?

How do I know if what I created fits the theme?

What is aromantic, aplatonic, loveless aromantic and/or tertiary attractions?

Are collabs ok?

I’m a fanfiction writer, can I add my work to a collection?

Do I have to post something for each theme?

Can I post more than one contribution for a theme?

Can I cross-post works for other events?

Can I find other people’s contributions?

What if I don’t want you to reblog my posts?

Can I submit late submissions?

Who can join?

Everyone. Whether you’re new to the fandom or you’ve been around since way back when Uther was still king, you’re more than welcome to join and share the love. No sign-ups required.

And we do mean everyone. As long as you do what you enjoy, we’re happy to see what you create, whether that’s edits, gifs, drawings, fanfiction, character analyses, poetry, playlists or anything else you can come up with!

Are there any minimum requirements?

No. We’ve chosen to host a low threshold event. As long as you feel like your post fits the theme, you’re good to go.

We do ask you not to share someone else’s work without their permission and to tag appropriately with trigger warnings. We advise you not to tag your work with #nsfw because it will not show up in search functions, but make sure to tag other triggers.

What are the themes?

You can find them in this post (which you can reblog as often as you like to spread the word!).

How do I know if what I created fits the theme?

We’ve given short descriptions of the themes we felt were a good fit in the post above!

You can talk about any kind of relationship unless the theme is specifically about a certain type of relationship. For example, your submission for OTP Day might feature an OT3/4/5/..... and they might be a platonic ship, or a polyamorous ship with a range of different relationships. However, you need to focus on specifically platonic ships for Platonic Day.

If you read the theme and have another idea, just go with it! If you feel like your work is a good fit, that means it is. And when in doubt, our ask box is always open!

What is aromantic, aplatonic, loveless aromantic and/or tertiary attractions?

Good question! Here are some definitions we've gathered to the best of our abilities. Much of the resource comes from the LGBTA wiki.

Aromantic: People who experience little to no romantic attraction. The aromantic spectrum includes identities such as greyromantic (experiences romantic attraction but very infrequently) and demiromantic (can only experience romantic attraction with people they have developed a close bond with) and aromantic (does not experience romantic attraction at all). Aromantics can experience tertiary attractions too such as sexual (aromantic allosexual) and platonic, aesthetic and sensual attraction. Some of them don't experience any kind of attraction at all (panaspec).

Aplatonic: People who experience little to no platonic attraction. Aplatonics can experice other attractions such as romantic (aplatonic alloromantic), aesthetic, and sexual and sensual attraction, or they can be panaspec.

Loveless aromantic: People who on the aromantic spectrum who are in some way disconnected from the concept of love, do not feel love, may doubt that they feel love, or reject the idea of experiencing love. They may feel uncomfortable with the concept or may not believe any form of love is personally relevant or important to them. Even though they may appear to "love" those close to them or "love" their hobbies, they do not feel that it is love but rather it may be compassion, mutual understanding or respect, enjoyment, or other such emotions depending on context. Some loveless aros may also have neurodivergence or trauma that cause their disconnection.

Tertiary attractions: An umbrella term originating in aromantic communities to describe forms of attraction other than romantic and sexual. This can include sensual, aesthetic, or any other attraction an aromantic person wishes to define. Some aromantic communities go further and define "tertiary attraction" as something other than physical and emotional attraction. This can mean having a mental attraction or being a friend.

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[marshmallow-xphile]

My thoughts on the sexuality of some of my favorite X-files characters.

I posted this in my X-files amino back in June as part of a LGBTQ pride challenge and for some reason I only just thought to post it here as well.

Fox Mulder: openly bisexual

Mulder is so open sexually that I really don't think gender matters all that much to him. He does seem to prefer females but I wouldn't be even remotely surprised if he had a boyfriend or two in the past. I don't think he's flamboyant about his sexuality but I don't think he'd hide it at all either

My evidence:

In the season one episode "Ghost in the Machine" we meet an Mulder's ex-partner, Jerry, and I absolutely feel like there is an ex-lovers vibe to the both of them. They hug upon first seeing each other, Mulder looks incredibly happy to see him, when Mulder says they worked together Jerry corrects him to say they were partners at which point Mulder looks over at Scully as if to see her reaction. Mulder has this real guilty look to him. When Jerry acts a little self conscious Mulder is real quick to jump in and reassure him. They get in each other's personal space. It just really leaves me with the impression that they care deeply for one another and broke up for other reasons, perhaps the different career goals as Mulder tells Scully.

We also have Mulder with Krycek. From the very beginning of Krycek's involvement with the X-files I feel like the writers went out of their way to make a correlation between the change in partnership and a new partner in a relationship. There is a scene in Sleepless where Mulder and Scully are on the phone and Mulder tells Krycek he'll be right there, the rest of the conversation feels reminiscent of two exes chatting about the change brought about by the new relationship. Scully even brings up that it must be nice having a partner who doesn't question his every theory.

There were many scenes in Sleepless, Duane Barry, and Ascension in which Mulder and Krycek were alone but that we never got to see who knows for example what the two of them got to talking about while they were stuck in traffic during the drive to New York in Sleepless. Or how often they hung out between Sleepless and Duane Barry.

During Mulder and Scully's partnership Mulder only called her 'Dana' on a few emotional occasions. He started casually calling Krycek 'Alex' almost immediately.

Let us not forget the infamous speedo scene. While yes it definitely showed more of a Krycek attraction to Mulder than the opposite. It does make one wonder what led him to wear such a revealing bathing suit. How many straight men do you know who wear speedos? My guess is few. How many straight men wear speedos when they can reasonably assume their male partner will show up looking for them? Not many would be guess.

And then there is their relationship after Krycek is revealed to be a traitor. They both tend to act more like scorned lovers than enemies and notice that it's Mulder, not Krycek, who cannot seem to keep his hands off the other. Seriously it's like every time Krycek shows up, Mulder immediately grabs him.

Now here's a couple quotes from Mulder,

Krycek tells Mulder he most be losing it because Krycek beat him with one hand. Mulder's immediate reaction: "isn't that how you like to beat yourself?"

When the little man in Humbug is lined up pretty much exactly with Mulder's crotch he says that Mulder would be surprised how many women find his size alluring. Mulder's immediate reaction: "you'd be surprised how many men do as well"

How many straight guys do you know comfortable enough with their sexuality to make a gay innuendo? I personally cannot think of any.

Dana Scully: bicurious

I believe that Scully is sometimes attracted to women. It definitely is not as blatant as with Mulder and I really don't think she's had any past girlfriends but I definitely think that there is an attraction.

My evidence:

In the episode "Ice" I really felt like there are a few tender moments between her and Felicity Huffman's character especially while they were examining one another for the worms. That examination had a sort of sexual energy to it I thought.

In the episode "kill switch" theres a moment where the Invisagoth asked if she could have her handcuffs removed or if she should type with her tongue. Mulder mentions that she doesn't want a vote there and the look on Scully's face and the way she licks her lips, I definitely get the impression that she would have been perfectly happy to see what Invisagoth could get up to with that tongue.

Some people point to Scully's relationship with Reyes as evidence of her bisexuality, I personally don't see any attraction there on Scully's side but I don't think its outside the realm of possibility.

Monica Reyes: Closeted lesbian

This one's probably a surprise I know there was something between here and Brad as well as a flirtation with Doggett so you would probably think she was Bisexual but honestly was either one of those even remotely convincing? To me they weren't. I believe that Reyes is a lesbian.

I kind of go back and forth on whether she's open about it. Reyes is very spiritual and open so it seems strange that she would be in the closet but maybe she has a reason, fear of it affecting her career in the FBI perhaps? It just seems strange that she keeps pursuing these heterosexual relationships she has no passion for unless she is trying to hide her true passion.

My evidence:

I admit I really have very little evidence but look at the relationship between Reyes and Brad Follmer. It had all the chemistry of two people who got really drunk once and cannot remember sleeping together. I don't for a second believe she was ever in love with Brad nor he in love with her.

Then you've got the same thing between her and Doggett. Yes the writers were obviously trying for a romantic angle with the two of them but to me it never came across as convincing. It seemed more like she thought of him as a good friend and figured she might as well date him, I saw no evidence of love or attraction.

On the other hand look at her and Scully. While I feel like the attraction there was one sided I definitely feel like Reyes was into Scully or Dana as she would call her. Reyes was willing to risk her life for Scully and yes that is her job after all but Reyes seems to take that above and beyond and it's not just Scully herself but also William. Look at how protective Reyes is of William in The Truth and of the sacrifice Scully made in giving him up. She seems to care even more than Mulder on that.

Cigarette-Smoking-Man: Asexual

CSM has probably had sex at some point, he is of course the father of at least three children but I do not think that he was ever in love with any of these women or even attracted to them. I believe they were all just a means to an end.

I believe that CSM's only love was for his cigarettes

Evidence:

There is a little bit of evidence that he might have actually felt something for Teena Mulder but I don't buy it. He freely admits that he felt nothing for Cassandra Spender but he must've been convincing if he got her to marry him and we have seen him fake emotions more than once. He also seemed to show an attraction to Scully in En Ami but that too was just a means to an end. Perhaps he does feel something towards all the women he has impregnated but I wouldn't call it love. I don't see any real attraction there either. My bet is that CSM needed some "help" in order to produce his offspring.

Alex Krycek: Gay

While Krycek did have an obviously sexual relationship with Marita Covarrubias he definitely didn't have any real feelings for her and I don't buy attraction either. No I'd say they were both just trying to use sex to get what they wanted. His anger at finding the Russian boy gone wasn't because he was heartbroken at her betrayal. Merely mad that she'd managed to get the upper hand.

Whether Krycek is open or in the closet I'm not sure, I'm thinking it probably depends on the mission hes on at the time.

Evidence:

Of everyone on this list I'd say Krycek is the one I'm the most sure of. There is no doubt in my mind that Krycek was attracted to, perhaps even in love with, Fox Mulder. From the very beginning there appeared to be a bit of longing in his eyes.

There was the speedo scene wherein Krycek was definitely checking Mulder out. There were several scenes where Krycek could've killed Mulder but chose to help him instead.

As I've seen pointed out before, Krycek's crazy motivational choices don't make any sense at all unless it's all in an effort to be around Mulder more.

Look at his sense of style and his obvious love for lip gloss. I am not saying that straight men cannot love lip gloss and dress themselves in Krycek's fashion but it is uncommon and it was especially so back in the 90s

The infamous kiss in The Red and the Black could certainly be explained away as some kind of Russian custom but it isn't one that I am aware of and he hasn't really shown any other signs of his Russia heritage.

I would say my best evidence of Krycek's sexuality is in Essence and Existence, just look at the look on Krycek's face when Mulder trusts him to protect Scully. Krycek knows what Scully means to Mulder and then look at how seriously Krycek takes the job! I definitely feel like that moment meant a lot to him and he would have protected Scully with his life for Mulder.

There's also the fact that Krycek's unwillingness to kill Mulder lead to his own death.

Of course asking Skinner to shoot Mulder goes against this theory but I do have a couple thoughts on that, the most sensical being that he knew there was no chance Skinner would shoot Mulder and he probably knew there was no chance he would survive anymore. Maybe he made that request in hopes of sparing Mulder any pain he might have otherwise felt at his death (I know it's a bit of a stretch but my other theories require a long explanation of my thoughts on where the series had planned to go next)

The lone gunmen: no one knows....not even them

Three (I don't count Jimmy for this) single adult men who all live together in very cramped quarters and are, at least in Langley's case, perfectly happy to be around each other without thier clothes on certainly makes it seem like there's something between them all but I really don't get a overtly gay impression with any of them, even Langley who as mentioned doesn't like to wear pants and is the only one who hasn't had a love interest. They just have this sort of Vegas-esque thing. "What happens in the bachelor pad/newspaper room stays in the bachelor pad/newspaper room.

I would love to hear other people's thoughts on these and any other X-files characters you think might be somewhere on the LGBTQ spectrum.

[filmista]

Vertigo (1958)

“Here I was born, and there I died. It was only a moment for you; you took no notice.”

Alfred Hitchcock was generally a no-nonsense man who, when interviewed about his work, kept on talking about plot and audience manipulation: how do I keep the audience in suspense with a good story? Intellectual, thematic discussions of his own work were largely foreign to him, but of course that doesn’t mean that those themes were not there. 

Fear of the irrational, a perverted sexuality and obsessive thoughts were just a few of his hobbyhorses, which, consciously or otherwise, popped up again and again. And that may never have been more the case than in "Vertigo," his most personal and complex film.

At the time, the film didn’t receive good reviews and the public wasn’t interested either, but over the years its reputation grew, until it was routinely included in lists of the greatest films of all time. Most Hitchcock films show the director as a professional. "Vertigo" shows him as an artist.

James Stewart plays John "Scottie" Ferguson, a  police inspector who sees a colleague jump off a rooftop. Physically injured and mentally traumatised he decides to say goodbye to old job, only to be hired as a private investigator shortly after by his old school friend Gavin Elster (Tom Helmore). Gavin's wife Madeleine’s (the unforgettable Kim Novak) behaviour becomes increasingly absent,  she makes long journeys through the city and speaks increasingly about death and suicide. 

Scottie starts to follow here and slowly but surely he discovers that Madeleine believes she is possessed by the ghost of Carlotta Valdes, a woman who died tragically many years before. He also discovers that he fell in love, perhaps for the first time. Scottie becomes dangerously obsessed with Madeleine.

And that romantic-erotic obsession is an immediately important theme of "Vertigo". Basically this is a movie about people in love with people they can’t be with.  Scottie falls for Madeleine, who - beyond the fact that she’s the wife of his friend - also lives under the delusion that she is possessed by the ghost of a dead person. 

Meanwhile, Midge (Barbara Bel Geddes), a friend of Scottie’s is in love with him, without Scottie seeming to realise it or feeling the need to correspond that love.  The characters are frustrated from the start, and the events in the film only serve to trigger those frustrations to a critical. 

 Madeleine kills herself by jumping from a church tower. Scottie's fear of heights prevents him from stopping her, and afterwards he stays behind with a sky-high sense of guilt.  several months later he meets Judy (again Novak), who bears an eerie physical resemblance to Madeleine. He talks to her and as the two enter into a relationship he purposefully changes her appearance to that of Madeleine (clothes, haircut, and so on). 

He uses Judy as blank canvas on which to bring Madeleine back to life, and she allows that. Why? Because Judy was hired by Gavin to frame Scottie.  Gavin killed his wife and threw her body down from the tower. 

Scottie's story made that no one would have trouble accepting the suicide. Undercover  Judy, however,  really falls in love with Scottie. Which immediately causes the third unrequited love in the movie - Scottie doesn't feel anything for Judy, he was in love with Madeleine, with the fictional creation Judy and Gavin had made for him.  With which Hitchcock reintroduced a time-honoured question: when we fall in love with someone, do we feel affection for that person themselves, or for the image we’ve imagined of that person. 

That was a very personal theme for Hitchcock. He was himself Married for more than 50 years to his wife Alma Reville, but his movies are packed with icy blondes who in most of his stories who in most of his work have to endure  at least one scene of mental humiliation or physical pain. From his work speaks a very ambiguous attitude towards women, and in "Vertigo” director decides to study that for the first time, on a psychologically profound level. 

After all, what else does a director do other than fill the actress’s empty  canvas with the behaviours and appearance that he himself has in mind to make his film? Judy / Madeleine is dominated by two men in the movie (or, if you like, directed): first off camera by Gavin, then by Scottie. In who she herself is, neither gentlemen are interested. 

Visually, "Vertigo" is probably Hitchcock's most ambitious film, in the sense that there is a strong symbolism throughout the film.With important roles for the colors green, red, yellow and blue. Green is continuously associated with Madeleine, her green dress when we first see her,  her green car to the natural green that often surrounds them. Why specifically that color? 

Green is traditionally the color of jealousy, and further it provides a kind of traffic light contrast with the red identifying Scottie: just look at his red ties, his red front door and the bright red interior of his favourite restaurant, where some important scenes take place. 

Scottie is someone who until he meets Madeleine, keeps romantic feelings at bay as much as possible: he pretends  he doesn’t understand Midge’s advances, has never married and prefers to be  so. 

He is a rational man, who rejects everything that threatens his rational, carefully demarcated world (including powerful emotions such as love). When Gavin is asked at the start of the film  if he believes in ghosts, he answers immediately, resolute and without thinking "no". As the story continues that certainty crumbles - as is often the case with Hitchcock, rationality disappears the life of the main character. 

During a key scene in a forest, Madeleine walks away from Scottie as if in a trance, only to disappear behind a tree. Scottie stares dubiously: Where has she gone? Suddenly disappeared as the ghost she is? No, of course not, she’s standing just behind the tree, but Scottie (and the audience) are in doubt briefly. 

Yellow then is the color of Midge, a safe, warm color which suggests homeliness. Her relationship with Scottie is in part love, partly motherly. And blue than reappears when the feelings of guilt of the characters returns (note Scotties bright blue suits during the second half of the film). The visual motifs of ‘Vertigo’ don’t end there - spiral forms constantly return as a visual representation of Scottie’s dizziness and then of course there's the infamous technique that Hitchcock used to zoom in while he camera physically moves backwards, which made Scotties fear of heights palpable. It's perhaps one of the most imitated shots in film history. 

James Stewart had played darker roles more often than ever since the 1950s  (as opposed to his overbearingly wholesome image that he acquired in the 30′s in  films like ‘It’s a Wonderful Life ’and‘ Mr Smith Goes to Washington ’). He knows how to give Scottie real emotional depth, nominally the hero of the movie, but actually a mentally deeply hurt person. 

His monologue at the end, in which he confronts Judy / Madeleine and his own  anxiety is probably one of the best moments from his career. Kim Novak, who during the first half hour of the film has almost no lines plays the ultimate Hitchcock blonde with Madeleine: cool, distant, troubled and - for the hero at least - irresistible. The complete opposite way in she plays Judy indicates how good and varied her register as an actress was. 

"Vertigo" is a slow, methodical film, especially according to current  standards. It’s a film that requires patience, but one that also rewards that patience. Thematically, this is without a doubt the best film that Hitchcock has ever - not to mention his most daring - visually its his most complex and thoughtful. With "Vertigo", Hitchcock faced some of his own demons. The confrontation resulted in unforgettable cinema.

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