#which means producing muscle and keeping it is also hard

[no-te-lo-voy-a-dar]

just had the chance of standing in front of a full, clean full body mirror and percieve myself while trying some clothes that looked fantastic on my head and be disappointed by how they actually looked on me lmao - I'm too small in any way to fill up the clothes i actually like

maybe i dress like a teenage boy because those are the clothes that fit me (8

[eldritch-spouse]

Man, I want to do a bonding moment with Cero, Patches, Mervin, Morell, Berle, Livius and Vorago by bathing together and washing each other. Like possibly no horny, just me and one of the boys relaxing and washing each other's bodies.

Bathing together (no hanky panky)

Getting Cero to fully relax in a shared bath is hard. He's used to having his own baths at the end of the day, with no one there to bother him, without having to maintain a constant air of immaculateness.

Having you there already makes the process something he needs to "perform" in, thus he's initially slightly irritated. Hence, he insists that you sit between his legs, back turned to him, so that Cero can freely smile and sag and just be a person... He's fairly quiet, for once, and hums to whatever you may ramble about. Bath time is an unwinding moment for him, so it should be one for you too, even if he finds it hard to be completely "mannerless" in front of you. This means that you can swear all you want, make all the dirty jokes and splash around like an animal. Cero will not judge you.

Eventually, he becomes comfortable enough to make his own less than refined quips and air out some of his shortcomings/grievances.

What happens in bath time stays in bath time, do not break this vow or Cero will break some of your bones.

Patches often neglects taking care of himself.

To be fair, given the stagnation of plenty of his bodily functions, it's not as if the dullahan naturally produces foul body odors, but his earthy smell does become more pronounced. You must drag him into a bathtub yourself. Only then will he slump and accept his fate.

Patches is pretty quick in taking care of his own body and mostly makes the whole thing about you. Is he collecting stray hairs that fall as he washes you? Possibly. But he's also just basking in the feeling of cuddling with you in a body of water, which is new entirely to him.

He takes to removing his head, simply because wetting it too much is not ideal to its longevity.

The perks of having Patches around shine here, as he likely has some freaky little magic bathbomb he impulse bought stored somewhere.

Mervin usually has long baths after a headache-worthy job. And he doesn't really advise you join them on those, because he's mostly quiet, possibly wounded, and thinking of everything he just did- If he did anything wrong. That's no mindset to listen to you or even be remotely affectionate.

He has this tendency to make sure the bathroom is spotless before getting in. Because he will not, refuses to, undress in a "stained pigstall". You're the first to come in, undress and get in, he doesn't tell you why he does this but it's the same reason he'll sometimes walk slightly behind his brothers in more crowded zones, to make sure they're safe. Muscle memory. You're forbidden from changing the temperature, if you find it cold then he supposes you can rub up on him for warmth like the needy creature you are.

You're washed first, more gently than you'd expect from him. Mervin repeatedly swats your hands away when you try to return the favor, you'll have to insist until he feigns exhaustion. His pleased rumbling is subtle but definitely audible.

Morell usually doesn't have time for baths, it's all fast showers and walking around kinda wet. But when he does take the time to bathe, especially with you, it's kind of a game.

Rub a dub dub, get yer ass in tha tub- He'll push you in there, don't doubt him. He likes doing this thing where he stays outside the tub while he bathes you, and gets in when he thinks you've been sufficiently scrubbed.

The shroom is either humming or whistling, and it's really bizarre to watch him shake water off his cap. By the way, prime opportunity to touch his neck. Just letting you know. Especially since Morell keeps his eyes mostly closed while you're washing him back.

When he truly relaxes, he's capable of falling asleep holding onto you. Shake him awake before the water gets cold.

Berle is also another one that doesn't usually bathe. He just doesn't have the patience to sit there and stare at the ceiling blowing bubbles.

If you realistically want him to sit still, then let him eat in the tub. This will not have an effect on his digestion. He's going to be his usual chatterbox self and hardly do anything to actually clean either of you until he probably starts feeling a little cold... Berle is unintentionally really fast in his ministrations and may hurt you with his claws, so remind him to calm down every now and then. You are likely to get tickled if you take too long washing him.

Really, Berle is trying really hard to stay in the tub with you and relax, but you can tell his mind drifts off after a while and he's thinking of a million different things he could be doing. It's not your fault, he just can't stay still.

Bathing with Livius is interesting. He tends to let his limbs flop over the edge of the tub.

This is essentially going to be a game of mimic. He only starts washing when you do, following the same order as you and trying to get your timing down. For this reason, you either mutually wash each other at the same time, or he asks you to wash him first.

Livius tries to guess what type of bath bomb you'd like better, or if you'd like any at all. Getting it wrong will have him sulking for a while.

Conversation flows as easily as you allow it to, and he's perfectly fine with allowing you to play with his horns, so long as he gets to play with your ears and nose. It's in moments like this that he truly covets your body. Not necessarily in a carnal way (though the impulse is there), he just loves how you look and wishes to be in your body.

Vorago has written this moment several times. The shared bath between two lovers. Granted, those took place in fairly more fantastical settings, but still, Vorago is very excited. And flustered.

Vorago has to make sure this is perfect for you, but part of him worries that he's being too corny if he goes with too many pink things around or the petals... Lords he really wants to make it a romantic thing but he knows he's going to look like a complete ass. He helps you in like a gentleman and is extremely docile as he washes you, but there's definitely moments where you'll feel him smell you. Vorago can only curb his delight up to a certain point.

Be prepared for the workload if you try to wash him back, because taming his thick and voluptuous hair is a feat. He certainly enjoys it, rumbling deep and loud and probably dark in the face from all the attention. He wishes he could take a photo of this moment, write it all out, it's so perfect. It's beautiful.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: Death (& Cheating Death)

Oddly enough, not all experts – or even countries – agree on what death actually is.

Brain activity stops

Temperature drops

Cells break down

Organs decay

Bacteria produce gas

In Britain, death is said to happen when:

The person has lost the capacity to ever be conscious again.

All the functions of the brainstem (such as telling the heart to beat and the lungs to inflate) have stopped.

What happens when someone has died?

Almost at once, blood begins to drain from the little blood vessels near the surface of the skin. This makes it look pale.

Bodily tissue starts to break down very quickly. That’s why organs are removed for transplant as soon as possible after someone dies.

Some organs function for longer than others after death. Brain cells go quickly, in no more than about 3 or 4 minutes. But muscle and skin cells may last for hours – perhaps a whole day.

In fact, a corpse is still very much alive. No, the person isn’t alive any more, but all the bacteria inside the body, plus all the others that flock in, certainly are. As they eat the body, they produce all kinds of smelly gases. When there’s no flesh remaining, there’s nothing left to cause a smell.

In some conditions, this process of decay is disrupted. This can happen naturally, as in the cases of bodies falling into peat bogs and being preserved (because the acids in the peat essentially pickle the flesh). But it can be done on purpose too.

Mummification

After pharaohs and some other members of the nobility died in Ancient Egypt, their bodies were preserved.

Most of their organs were taken out (though their hearts were left in place).

To remove the brain, a thin metal stick was poked up into their nose then wiggled around.

This whisked the brain up, turning it into a runny slop that could drain out through the nostrils.

Next, their bodies were dried out for 40 days.

Then they were coated in natural preservatives (things that would stop the body decomposing), such as beeswax, and wrapped in many layers of linen.

This completed the process of mummification.

What happens if the head is chopped off?

In the past, some criminals had their heads cut off as punishment, and members of the public would go along to watch.

Some reported seeing chopped-off heads blinking or even attempting to speak.

In 1803, two German scientists investigated these reports.

They pounced on heads as they fell and shouted, ‘Do you hear me?’ None responded.

They concluded that the brain, when separated from the body, lost consciousness immediately – or at least too quickly to measure.

How quickly?

Modern estimates range between 2 and 7 seconds. Which is quick.

But it still means that a brain in a chopped-off head might have a genuine out-of-body experience.

CHEATING DEATH

Your body is pretty tough. And as you know, your brain works very hard to keep you alive. Some uncomfortable experiments have revealed the amazing things it can do. Take extreme heat, for example...

The Walk-in Oven

In the 18th century, a doctor in London called Charles Blagden built what was essentially an oven big enough for a person to walk inside.

He and his friends would stand inside it for as long as they could bear.

Blagden managed ten minutes at a temperature of 92.2 degrees Celsius.

His friend, a famous botanist called Joseph Banks, managed 99.4 degrees – but only for seven minutes.

Unsurprisingly, the volunteers’ skin warmed up dramatically.

But Blagden also took the temperature of their urine.

He did this right before and after the oven experience.

And he found that there was no change.

That meant that their inner ‘body temperature’ had stayed the same.

This showed the toughness of the human body – it can regulate its own temperature even when outside temperatures are extreme.

He also noticed that the volunteers sweated a lot. This led him to realize that sweating is important for cooling the body.

Some of what we know about the toughness of the human body comes not from experiments, but from accidents and ‘lucky’ escapes.

The Deep Freeze

When Erika Nordby was a toddler, she woke up one night and wandered out of her home in Canada.

It was the middle of winter, and freezing outside.

When she was finally found, her heart hadn’t been beating for at least 2 hours.

But Erika was carefully warmed up at a local hospital, and she made a full recovery.

Just a couple of weeks later, a two-year-old boy on a farm in the USA did almost exactly the same thing.

He also recovered fully.

It sounds extraordinary – but dying is the last thing that your body wants to do.

Falling from a Plane

On 24 March 1944, a British airman called Nicholas Alkemade was in an RAF plane flying over Germany.

His plane was hit and burst into flames.

By the time he got to his parachute, it was on fire. So he decided to jump.

He was 3 miles above ground and falling at 120 miles per hour.

‘It was very quiet,’ he recalled later. He had no sensation of falling.

‘I felt suspended in space.’

Suddenly, he found himself crashing through the branches of some pine trees.

He landed with a thud in a snowbank, in a sitting position.

He had somehow lost both his boots and had a sore knee and some minor scrapes. But otherwise he was fine.

After World War II, Alkemade got a job in a chemical plant.

While he was working with chlorine gas, his mask became loose.

He was exposed to dangerously high levels of the chemical.

He lay unconscious for 15 minutes before co-workers dragged him out. Miraculously, he survived.

After he returned to work, he was adjusting a pipe one day when it burst and sprayed him from head to foot with sulphuric acid.

He suffered extensive burns. But he survived.

Shortly after returning to work again, a 9-foot-long metal pole fell on him from a height and very nearly killed him.

Incredibly, he survived.

He then found a much safer job – as a furniture salesman.

Alkemade went on to die peacefully in his bed at the age of 64.

Source ⚜ More: Writing Notes & References Writing Notes: Autopsy ⚜ Word List: Kill ⚜ Decompose Worksheets: Death & Sacrifice

[smallerdelusions]

Excerpt from Observations on the Order Draconia in Europe, with Notes on the Oriental Breeds by Edward Howe

Additional notes and transcript below the cut.

VITRIOLIC SPIT Longwing Breed, Adult The modified salivary glands, known as vitriol or acid glands, within the lower jaw release concentrated aqua regia - a combination of aqua fortis and spirit of salt - into forward facing channels in the spurs. The acid is created through similar means as stomach acid.

Vitriol Spitters cannot direct the flow of acid and must expel from above to prevent damage to themselves or others

FIRE BREATH Kazilik Breed, Adult The modified salivary glands, known also as naptha glands, within the lower jaw contain a liquid accelerant which, when combined with carbureted hydrogen water from the lower throat, are lit by the spark teeth to produce flame. The spark teeth are not true teeth and are instead mineralized protrusions of the skull.

The combination of naptha and gasses allow fire-breathers to direct expulsions in any direction. Excess water is often expelled as steam across the dragon's body.

OH BOY THIS ONE WAS A LONG ONE! I think way too hard about dragon biology, and had a lot of fun trying to write this as an 17th century naturalist.

Translations: (thanks to my spouse for their obscure alchemist knowledge)

Aqua regia: a solution of nitrohydrochloric acid

Aqua fortis: nitric acids

Spirit of salt: hydrocholric acid

Naptha: volatile, highly flammable hydrocarbon liquids of many types. (known today as "mineral spirits" or "lighter fluids")

Carbureted hydrogen water: methane dissolved in water

To expound, I don't think Mr. Howe would have totally figured out fire breath. The universe establishes that 1) dragons can direct their fire, 2) dragons can still breath while flaming and don't need to stop for air, and 3) a byproduct of the process is steam. To square all that, I think the dragon must have some sort of starter in the jaw, here as naptha (though my spouse says it could be nitric acid) that it can ignite at will, then feed with methane produced by food/bacteria and dissolved in water lower in the body. When the methane burns, the water evaporates as steam. The liquid nature of the methane water means the dragon can probably close its throat to avoid being burned.

The acid spitters are easier: I believe they were based on spitting cobras, though the spurs gave me a little trouble. Those have pressurized canals in their fangs and keep extra venom in glands. In both dragons it made sense to have modified salivary glands for this, as the muscle control and chemical production would have a headstart for evolution of the traits.

Anyways, thanks for reading!

[alsktudy]

— warmth

paring. soonyoung x reader genre. angst, exes to lovers, fluff at the end wc. 1.5k warning. mention of skipping meals and swearing

synopsis. you thought breaking up with soonyoung would make you more focused at your job. you couldn't be more wrong.

his sharp, angular eyes were filling with tears, you hate seeing him cry, you hate it even more that it was you making him cry.

“what?” his voice shaky and struggling to produce a coherent sound, “i- i don’t understand.”

“let’s break up.”

he shakes his head in disbelief, the tears which had been collecting over the past few moments finally beginning to trickle down his cheeks.

“you don’t actually mean it, you aren’t being serious.”

“i wouldn’t joke around about something like this soonyoung.”

soonyoung furrows his eyebrows at his full name being spoken, his ears had gotten used to you calling him ‘soonie’.

you swallow the thick lump forming in your throat, “i really mean it, let’s break up.”

—

you convinced yourself were fine.

the attention which he constantly bathed you in ultimately made you unproductive at work. your supervisor got annoyed at you for entering the wrong numbers and decided to force your whole section have to work over time to fix your mistake.

you wanted focus on your work, that was the whole reason why you broke up with him in the first place, so why you can’t you focus on entering any of the data into the stupid glowing screen in front of you?

it’s a simple task, punch a few numbers into the computer and you’re done. you’ve done this for 7 months already that it feels like muscle memory, yet your hands are unable to move, currently occupied with the task of holding tightly onto the thoughts of your past relationship.

your eyes gaze shift to the phone resting on the table.

a part of you wishes soonyoung would call you or even send a message. he didn’t block you on social media, heck, he didn’t even unfollow you. that means he wants to keep in touch… right? you think it’s safe to assume he didn’t have the heart to press the unfollow button and honestly, you’re secretly glad he didn’t becuase you didn’t have the heart to unfollow him either.

but a part of you also wishes that you could shelf your pride away and text him first. ask him how work’s going, if he’s found any good music lately, after all, thats what friends on facebook do, right? or possibly the monstrous task of apologising.

with a sigh you reach for your phone and search up his instagram for what seems like 17th time today. all the posts which contained you disappeared 2 weeks ago – you really hope he archived them and didn’t delete them.

your thumb shifts to click on his most recent post: a video of him dancing. the shadow from his black adidas cap obscuring most of his face, making it hard to make out his eyes.

maybe it was for the best that you couldn’t see his eyes. they’d probably remind you of how desperate his sharp, glossy eyes yearned to find a single glimpse of remorse in your gaze that night.

you analyse the way his body effortlessly moves to the rhythm of the song until a loud thud on your desk snaps you out of your trance.

“didn’t you break up with that kid?” nayeon asks as she looks over your shoulder, her eyes gazing at the replaying video.

“yeah,” slightly embarassed that nayeon had caught you looking at his profile, “why?”

“then why do you keep watching him dance?” you gulp audibly and reach for your phone and turn it off, “you’ve checked that thing,” she points at your phone, “countless times over the past hour. i keep hearing the same song over and over again.”

rolling your eyes you shove your phone into a drawer, “i was just checking up on him.” you retort, crossing your arms.

“checking up on him every 7 minutes?” she scoffs.

“well…” you exhale shakily, “i haven’t seen him in a while, i was just curious…”

“wait! lemme check your screentime real quick.” she exclaims.

“what?”

“just… pass me the damn phone.”

you comply, opening the drawer, handing her the phone after unlocking it.

shit, you didn’t realise that you checked up on him that much.

“9 hours… 9 hours!?” nayeon’s eyes go wide as she reads your average daily screentime. “do i have to confiscate your phone?!” she jokes with a light slap on your shoulder.

“well.. i like watching youtube.”

“most used app… instagram.”

well shit. thanks apple.

“what the hell is wrong with you!?”

“could you keep it down?!” you say in a whisper-shout, lightly slapping her arm.

“you gotta fix that.”

“are you my mum or something?”

“no, i’m a good friend.” her thumbs rapidly tap at the glowing screen.

“what the hell are you doing?”

“setting you a damn limit since you obviously can’t control yourself.” she says grinning at the screen, “gave you one minute allowed on insta, you’re welcome.” she places the phone back into your hands and walks away chuckling.

“i can just disable it when i get home!”

and disable it you did.

—

it had been 2 months since you last saw him in person and fuck, you were missing him like crazy.

your life became a grey scene devoid of all colour, but you can’t really blame anyone but yourself. you pushed away the man who brought a range of beautiful colours that you couldn’t even imagine before you met him.

yeah sure, you slowly regained your focus on work and even got a promotion, but did it really mean anything if soonyoung didn’t attempt to make a congratulations cake and somehow burn it? or pepper your face with a multitude of kisses saying that your his smart, pretty girl until you beg him to stop with a shy giggle? you didn’t fucking think so.

“soonyoung?” you say smiling, “what a coincidence to see you here! it’s so nice to see you again.”

you couldn’t help it, you had to see him. soonyoung taught lessons at a dance studio nearby, you were bound to run into him sooner or later if you continued to lurk around the area.

he flashes you a feign smile, “oh! oh- uh it’s nice to see you too.” well that sounded like a lie. he looks down and hesitates before looking up to meet your eyes once more, “how have you been?”

“im just living life, i guess.” you say, fiddling with the hem of your t-shirt, the confidence (and the adrenaline) which pumped throughout your body moments ago disolving in a instant after hearing his voice, “how have you been, soonie?”

soonyoung breath hitches at the old nickname but continues to keep his composure.

“well, i’ve been...” he takes a breath, “living my life too.”

you look up to meet his gaze, his cold gaze. no warmth behind those pupils, the glimmer of passion which once used to call his eyes home had disappeared.

an uncomfortable silence fell between you two as you stared at each other feeling an obvious tension blanketing the atmosphere.

“i guess… i guess i should go.” you say, knowing that this interaction wouldn’t lead to anything other than more tension, “see you around.” you give him wave accompanied by a small smile.

as you awkwardly turn around and begin to walk away, soonyoung shaky voice rings through out your ears, “are you taking care of yourself? you’ve been eating well right? i hope you have, i always told you not to skip your meals.”

you spin around to meet his glossy eyes staring at you, “what?” you ask breathlessly.

“you’ve skipped meals right? you always do that when you-”

you run into him, wrapping your arms around his waist, in response he cloaks with his own warmth with an embrace. “soonyoung,” you sob into his shirt.

he exhales, “i know, i missed you too.”

you peel your face off his chest and look at him – his gaze full of love as he looks down at you with his tears threatening to fall with one simple blink.

your heart shatters as the thought of all of the emotions he probably went through the past 2 months rapidly fly throughout your mind. all you can say is a pathetic ‘i’m so sorry.’ repeatedly into his chest.

all he does is slowly caress your hair and press kisses onto the top of your head as you continue to sob your apologises.

you hate that your the one who’s crying the most out of the two of you, shouldn’t he be crying more? you’re the one who broke up with him. but it’s like soonyoung can basically read your mind, after all, you were together for 1.5 years. he immediately comforts you and all of your worrying thoughts, “it’s okay, let it all out, i forgive you.”

it takes a while before theres silence bewteen you two. his scent is comforting, his soft whispers into your hair make you giggle and tighten your arms around him and his warm, loving gaze makes you never want to leave him again.

thank you for reading until the end!!

a/n. requested by @kwonshiho, heres the ask! its loosely based on screentime by epik high ft soonyoung and a tad inspired by our beloved summer. i used this to practice for my english exam LOL. also this took long to write LOL

want to read more? » m.list

want to be tagged? » taglist

tags:

@aaniag @dkswife @kokoiinuts @nishloves @joshuashna @sofix-hc7 @mekuiikore

[fungalittleweirdo]

Jules I want 12 donatello. And 12 leo. I want the 12 blurple please. First impressions ig.

fixing that up and making it all four 2012 turtles because you told me to >:)

also, everyone tell spoopy happy birthday or i'll slice your elbow skin.

hmmmm this request isn't specific and i'm feeling particularly fluffy today so here's this monstrosity of 2012 turtles x gn reader (the turtles are aged up to their twenties i guess)

this is so mid

this is actually so mid even for something i had only 24 hours to produce

i'm rewatching the ENTIRE 2012 series because i HAVE THE BOX SET WITH ALL 124 EPISODES and i will characterise them all so hard

i just keep adding on to this author's note istg who let me start writing fanfic again (spoopy this is all your fault)

(i love you though pookies mwah mwah)

(happy birthday <33)

So Much For Huevos Rancheros

You decided a sleepover with your favourite mutants was long overdue, so last night you went to the lair wearing your fluffiest pyjama pants for an impromptu movie night. Mikey chose an R-rated Chris Bradford film to make fun of, and all of you agreed to make it a bad movie night. Ninety minutes and a turtle pile for sleeping later, you wake up to the smell of breakfast wafting from the kitchen.

Groggily, you sit up and wince at the stomachache, immediately laying back down due to your stomach telling you to kill yourself. Raph groans beside you, reaching for your hand and intertwining his fingers with yours, yawning with a comfortable smile. Mikey's head was previously on your chest and Donnie's is on your lap, drooling on your pyjamas. The orange turtle was awake, rubbing at his eyes and giving you a dopey smile as you looked up at him.

"Morning tummyaches again?" He reached down to your stomach, rubbing your left side gently to soothe the aches. You sigh in relief, thankful enough that Mikey knew just how to make your mornings better. After a moment, a blush flushes your face and you sit up to bump your head against his plastron.

"Thanks Mikey," you peck his cheek then carefully get up, trying your best not to wake Raph and Donnie. The youngest turtle brother goes to turn the TV on again, keeping the volume low. You move on to the kitchen, where Leo seems to be the one cooking.

He was wearing a frilly apron, which seemed out of character for him, but he was making huevos rancheros, just the way you showed him. Your heart lept in your throat at the display, sighing dreamily as you watched your turtle work.

"Come here and give me a good morning kiss, hm?" He turned, smiling at you while you lean forward, planting a chaste kiss on his lips. You try to step back but he drops the utensil he was using to wrap an arm around you and keep you in close proximity so he could keep kissing you. You melt in his arms and reach to grab onto his shoulders, and he snakes his arm up your back to feel how tense your back muscles had become due to the way you slept. He parts with a concerned look. "You should have slept in my bed last night," Leo frowns and jabs at one of your pressure points to undo the tension of your muscles, your spinal cord turning to cooked spaghetti.

"Nuh-uh, we all agreed on a cuddle pile last night because April and Casey couldn't come, just because you're leader doesn't mean you get them for more time than the rest of us!" Mikey walked up to the kitchen with a pout, letting the TV run as background noise instead.

"Fuck you mean, nuh-uh?" Raph yawned, walking by Mikey to nudge him harshly, then kiss the side of your head to pass by, his destination seeming to be the fridge. Mikey was flabbergasted, gesturing to Raph as if he was saying "get a load of this guy". Raphael turned from the fridge with the pitcher of homemade orange juice in his hand and a glare that put Mikey in his place.

"I... I think we're supposed to be on Mikey's side, Raph."

Donnie walks in to wrap his arms around you and nuzzle on the top of your head, breathing you in. You rolled your eyes, putting your hands on your hips.

"I swear, the four of you have a hard time sharing even though you're old enough to know how. It's cute when it's a movie or comic book but not when it's me. Can we please just have breakfast in peace? Together?" You sit at the breakfast bar and the turtles responded "yes" in unison, a smirk playing on your lips. Leo served your huevos rancheros last, giving you the freshest of the food he cooked. The four of you eat in silence, enjoying Leo's cooking.

After breakfast, the five of you end up cuddling on the couch, each turtle entangled with a part of you in some way, giving you adoring nuzzles as you watched Space Heroes together.

"You know we love you, right?" Leo whispers, stroking your hair and giving you a quick kiss below your ear, making you flinch.

"We love you lots, princess..." Donnie grins from your lap, looking up at you, then reaching for your palm to press his lips against it. Not quite a kiss, but a romantic gesture nonetheless.

"Love you beyond the moon and back, honey..." Raph reaches for your other hand, kissing a trail up to your bicep, then nuzzling into your shoulder. Mikey turns around to look up at you from below, where he usually sits when there's no room for him on the couch. He leans in to kiss your knee politely, a grin on his face as he stares up at you in wonder.

"Nothing will ever make us stop loving you, ice cream cake! You're ours forever!"

You pull your hands back to cover your face, feeling embarrassed, but heart so full. You're glad you slept over the lair and spent time with your silly turtle boyfriends.

[answersfromzestual]

Can I have top surgery and be overweight? The Truth.

I am here to clear things about being overweight and top surgery (aka double mastectomy).

Can I have chest surgery if I am overweight? Blanket answer, yes you can.

HOWEVER, let's talk about some things first.

As soon as we peek under my blanket statement, most doctors will not want to touch you if you are too far outside their BMI index. Sounds like a preference, right? I mean, true, but they are a business and, like any other business, can refuse service for any reason. Especially when your life is in their hands.

The BMI index is followed to a degree by most plastic surgerons. This index is not to body shame you in this case. It is strictly for medical reasons. There are many medical reasons to refuse the surgery.

As you lay flat on your back, your own weight presses on your lungs and heart. This can actually cause damage your heart and lungs and also restrict your breathing even further.

Anesthesia issues are a lot deeper than most people realize. It is not just a harmless gas to keep you asleep. Anesthesia is poisonous to us, and it does more harm to your body the longer you are under its direct effect. Also, the more you weigh, the more they have to use. The best anesthesiologists in the world probably would have a hard time with this, especially depending on how long you can potentially be under. The more you weigh means more tissue they need to work with and extra time can mean complications not only while under the drug but can cause many complications after the procedure is done, and even when you wake up. Issues include headaches/migranes, intense nausea, vertigo like symptoms, having a hard time passing urine, lack of gross and fine motor functions, brain functions, paralysis, coma, and death.

Blood flow issues for people who are overweight are a real risk. The skin has stretched over time , and more skin, along with viable tissue, is thinner, with less of a blood supply being delivered to the skin and tissues itself.

Being overweight also means your skin is stretched and no longer has the same elasticity as if you were not overweight. This thin skin is easy to pull apart/tear.

Time in the operating room, more is not better. The longer you are being operated on, the more complications can occur during the procedure and during the healing process. (This is also a general risk)

Upping complications means more likely needing revisions. Plastic surgerons take this into consideration for your health. Insurance probably won't shell out for the same operation twice because of the views on transitioning lead to a lot of "this is just cosmetic."

Diabetes exponentially increases risk of infection and potential necrosis and gangrene (death of tissue).

You are a living canvas for the plastic surgeron(s), your results reflect highly on them. They want the best results for you, but they also have a reputation to upkeep.

If the surgeon gives a condition they consider reasonable and the patient does not produce results near their actual target BMI, which tends to be more liberal than the numbers that are thrown around, the surgeon can question the patients ability to be able to take care of themselves and adhere to the strict rules given for post operative care. A surgeon can also think "does this person want it bad enough if they can't do this request?". They may not say that out loud, but they may think it.

The heavier you are, the harder it is on your body to heal because the extra work your body needs to do to do daily tasks, let alone extra tasks yet also rest.

You do not realize how much and how often you use your chest muscles. Getting out of bed without being able to lift yourself up is really a thing. Using those muscles in some cases can cause rips and tears of stitches, tissues, and muscles.

Surgeons will give you realistic, cis-like results with your chest, this may mean you will not have a flat chest, they may perform more of a reduction than a double mastectomy. Surgeons will make your chest look proportional to your body, hence another surgery if you do lose weight.

Do they want you to have bad results? This is a physical correction to make a positive mental impact if you have bad results post-op. This may not really fulfill the function of procedures purpose to help you like your body.

Doctors want to know you want this surgery, so if they give you a time frame and you don't meet their goals, that's fair. You may have seen your day to day but the surgeron didn't and doesn't care. To them, you didn't meet their goals/ requirements. No surgeon wants to lose their job, role, or status.

Surgeons only want what's best for your health. It's not a shaming conspiracy, it's literally just biology.

Waiting sucks, we know. But what sucks more is that having bad results, you will have forever and potentially risking your life.

Source List:

Anesthesia 1

Anesthesia 2

Anesthesia 3

Anesthesia and Obesity

Surgery 1

Surgery 2

Post Op Risk

Minimal use of being overweight during a procedure personal experience.

P.s: I tried to use respectful and professional terms and wording. If anything is offensive, please let me know in my ask box, and I will fix it.

Stay Safe

Stay Golden Everyone ✌️ 💙 💜

[villruu]

Really nice guy who hates only you Alex x Brian?

Anon, anon... Listen, um. Well, this originally had more of a comedic vibe with timetravel splashed in, but then "the red means I love you" snuck up on me and suddenly this happend. I, um. Well.

Enjoy timetravel doomed brilex??

On AO3

This contains canon-typical violence :)

⸻

Alex woke up slowly, woozy and trembling.

His whole body felt off-putting, numb and cold and not entirely his own. It was dark and humid, damp in the way cement only knew how to be, the slight scent of mold typical of abandoned buildings that Alex had come to learn intimately as he searched locations for his film.

Where… where was he?

Last he remembered he had gone to sleep. And, it had been a good dream. There hadn’t been any weird creature in the distance, he hadn’t felt angry, everyone was working together and, and it was just him and his friends having a good time. Brian had been there too, joking, close to him in a way he hasn’t been since he had fallen sick a few weeks ago.

Alex tried to move, but his body felt too slow, muscles barely twitching even as Alex forced himself as much as he could.

It was cold. Too cold.

Was it still night? Where was he? 

He had his pajamas on, though no socks. He didn’t have his glasses on either. When Alex tried again to move, he found something digging painfully into his wrists. Plastic and hard, almost threatening to cut into his skin with each slight movement.

Where the fuck was he?

Steps. The crushing of glass beneath shoes. The swish of clothes moving.

“Hello?” Alex called, voice thin and fearful, “Who’s there?”

Silence.

“Hello?” He repeated, “I… I need help.”

Silence again.

The darkness was absolute. Was even someone there, or was Alex imagining it? 

Alex trembled.

Steps again, closer and closer until Alex could swear he could feel the warm emanating from another living being. Fear sprang to life inside him as a sudden light turned on, the flash blinding him momentarily, leaving him reeling with a pained yelp.

With watering eyes, Alex slowly adjusted to the harsh white light shining on his face. A figure stood in front of him, obscured in the shadows produced by the strong light. It was a flashlight, Alex noticed distantly somewhere in his panic, a big and clunky one, the kind that hikers like to get.

All Alex could see were the dirty black gloves of the figure, covered in dust and some liquid that looked almost black in the light that reflected on the flashlight.

“Who… Who are you?” Alex rasps, voice gaining confidence the longer he goes on, “Did… Did you take me? Where am I? What is this place? What did you do to me—”

Alex’s is abruptly cut off as something whacks him across the face. He groans, wishing he had his hands free to rub at his face. Something wet dripped from his nose, probably blood since Alex doubted it hadn’t been broken, a deep ache coming from his cheek where he had been struck first.

The flashlight looked scuffed on the edges, now.

He has a million questions to ask, a thousand words to say, but he keeps quiet, now weary, like a dog who suddenly learned its owner is also capable of kicking it and not only petting it.

Why is he here? Why him, why out of anyone, him?

The figure doesn’t move. Alex doubts they are even breathing, so still and silent as they are now. Alex watches in silence as they take something from their pocket, probably, the sound of an object dragging across, the shift of clothes. 

A glint of silver. A metal barrel.

A gun, in front of his face.

Alex stays still, frozen, watching the weapon with wide eyes.

“Are….You…” Alex whispers as the gun gets closer to his face, the hand holding it as steady as a mountain.

His dad taught him how to fire a gun, before coming to college. They had spent an entire day practicing with cans and glass bottles near his grandpa’s, in an empty lot close to the forest. His dad had proclaimed that in a state like Alabama, it was best he knew how to defend himself, and had even given him a gun, which Alex kept locked up and hidden deep beneath mountains of trash in the small shed of the house. 

Alex had never gotten over the shakiness of holding onto a real gun.

He wondered how this figure managed to do so.

He can see the edges of the sleeve now, a faded orange, dirty and scuffed. 

The silence stretches between them, like an eternal graveyard.

“This is for the best,” The figure tells him. The voice is familiar, extremely so, but Alex first processes the movement of the gun.

In a fit of desperation, Alex throws his head forward, the metal of the gun colliding painfully with his temples. There’s the sound of metal falling onto the floor, but any relief is short-lived, as the flashlight is brought down on his face again. He struggles, as the flashlight falls to the ground and rolls a few feet away.

He can see the figure more clearly, a dirty faded hoodie, some dirty jeans, scuffed shoes. They lean down, grabbing their gun, and all the fighting abruptly leaves Alex’s body as the figure stands up and the light is finally shining on their face.

Hazel eyes, deep bags, pale face, brown hair. It’s a familiar face. It’s a face that Alex has seen for almost 5 years, it’s a face Alex trusts, it’s the face of his friend.

It 's Brian.

(It’s Brian, Brian his best friend, Brian who he knows from highschool, Brian who he spent countless nights studying with for midterms, Brian who was with him when he adopted Rocky, Brian who joined his film when nobody else would, Brian who found other actors for him.

Brian who everyone loves. Brian who’s the social butterfly of their college. Brian, who Alex trusts with his life. Brian, who has a million friends and yet always makes time for him. Brian, who makes Alex feel like he is seeing the world again. Brian, who Alex can't never stop admiring. Brian, who he loves.

Brian, who is pointing a gun at him. 

Brian, who is probably the one who dragged him here. 

Brian, who he thought was his friend.)

“...Brian?” Alex yet still dares to say, as if hoping saying the name of the other would stop this nightmare, would make the scowling person in front of him transform back into his friend.

Brian stares at him and looks briefly at the flashlight, before simply moving until they’re staring at each other. Alex stares into the sunken gaze of his friend, and wonders what happened. 

“Brian…?” He repeats.

All he gets is a kick to the side, leaving him dropped on his side, curled up like a dying larvae, wheezing.

Brian steps closer. He is standing right above him, gun steady as it points directly at Alex’s head. His eyes are hard and dark.

“Brian,” Alex breathes out, breathing noisily in and out to try and ignore the pain radiating from their side, “Brian, I don’t understand…”

“You know,” Brian says absently, voice light, “It’s a good thing I got dropped back now rather than later.”

Brian smiles. It is not a nice smile.

“After all, who would believe that sweet, naive Brian would ever do anything to hurt his friend? Everyone knows he would die for them,” He gives a bitter laugh, and Alex swears that in the dim lightning his eyes shine almost red, “No, people will just assume whatever else. And after I take care of a few more things, that thing will never hurt another, and neither will you.”

“...You see it too?” Alex said, confused and hurt and unsure, “That, that guy, the one in the—”

“Shut up,” Brian spits, after he kicks him again, “I don’t need it coming to look into what’s happening now.”

Brian gives a brief look around, and Alex shudders, staring at the tall figure in the back, but Brian doesn’t see it, or if he sees it, he doesn’t react.

“I don’t understand…” Alex repeats, voice thin and unsure, “Brian you, you know how to stop this? how to, how do I stop seeing it—?”

Another kick.

“I said, Shut. Up.” Brian snarls, voice dripping hatred in a way Alex had never thought possible, “You don’t deserve help, Kralie. You, you fucked everything up before… If it weren’t for you…”

Brian shakes his head.

“It doesn’t matter,” He says, “With you gone, the group will not stay together. Tim will clearly not keep contact except with me, maybe, and will not spread it anymore. I’ll have to make sure Jay keeps his distance, permanently if necessary, but, right now, the only thing I need to do is get rid of you.”

The gun clicks, safety finally off.

Alex whimpers, static building up in the back of his head as he stares up at the barrel of the gun.

“Goodbye, Kralie.”

The static builds up into a screech, a high pitched screaming that builds up and up and up, and Alex Kralie knows no more.

[livestosave]

The Extent of James' Prosthetics

Obviously some tw for fairly graphic injuries and blood and medical things.

Even before losing his left arm at Beacon, James' body was - technically - more than half made of prosthetics, though much of that extent was not obvious even if one were to see his exterior prosthetics.

The trouble came from the sheer extent of the damage that was done, and how experimental prosthetics like James' were at the time. And nothing to the extent that James required had been done before. He should have died in the snow before he was found and brought home. But even when they started, they ran into a problem.

Much of James' right side was shattered beyond repair, bones broken in so many places from a long fall with no aura and a manticore biting down on his torso. His hip was collapsed, his lung little more than shredded meat. His internals had been exposed to the icy elements for over a day without an aura, and frostbite had settled deep into the tissues, including parts of his intestines and his liver. His spine had broken in the fall and left him paralyzed on the right side and mostly below the waist.

It was...a lot of damage to repair. Had they not replaced much of it, he would have had serious quality of life problems, including strict diets that would have left him quite unable to maintain the muscle needed to be a huntsman or soldier.

So, Goodkind authorized the use of experimental prosthetics. If James might die anyway, or have such a hard life after, he wanted to have tried everything he could. Part of this agreement means that James' prosthetics are also case studies, and while his name isn't on those studies, most doctors who work on him and see the prosthetics tend to know who he is.

As a result, James has some very visible prosthetics...and some some very hidden. His entire digestive tract is mechanical, as is his liver and one kidney. It means he can eat almost anything and extract what he needs, he actually has a more efficient digestive system than most humans or fauni, but his poison filtration is also far better...which functionally means alcohol and most oral medication don't work on him. It makes him almost impossible to drug through normal means.

His right lung is also a machine, and when the panels of his chest are opened it can be hooked up to external machines to either keep him 'breathing' even while paralyzed, or can be removed to allow replacement should it take damage. Because of this, if he takes a serious blow to the chest without his aura, he can actually cough up various fluids like lubricant and oil.

While it's crude, and James never speaks of it, he also does not have a penis anymore. He could if he wanted to, and these days Atlas tech would make it pretty cool, but he's never felt any need for it. He just doesn't. One of his prosthetics supplies the hormones that he would otherwise have produced down there, though he does require regular visits to the doctor to ensure such production is adequate as he ages.

Because of this, James' right side also doesn't have any blood or biological fluid in it, and is functionally less a prosthetic than a full cybernetic/mechanical replacement. While he has some ability to sense pressure along his fairly crude synthetic nerves, it's nowhere near the level that a more modern replacement like Yang's would provide, and he can only feel vague pressure. He also cannot feel temperature along that side, meaning he has more than once miscalculated what a normal person would be able to touch.

As a result of the synthetic nerve load and the connections they required, his spine also required full replacement. There are connectors and the full thing can be removed for maintenance, leaving James fully paralyzed aside from his head. His neurotransmitter primarily communicates with his spine to control his limbs, mimicking a normal brain-spinal column relationship rather than directly communicating to his limbs. This is mostly a limitation of the time as well, as the neurotransmitter was the most experimental of what was put into James' body during that initial period. Because of that experimental nature, he suffers chronic migraines as a result of the neurotransmitter's connection to his brain and spine.

Separate from the initial wave of prosthetics, James survived an assassination attempt early in his tenure as Headmaster (and General) that resulted in his heart requiring replacement. This was comparatively simple, and while there is a scar across his chest from the initial stabbing that caused the replacement, this prosthetic is more modern and easier to handle. His heart ticks rather than 'beats' but otherwise this prosthetic is easily missed.

All of this has resulted in a few other chronic physical issues and side effects, some of which are obvious and some are subtle.

Negatively, James has significantly less of his body powered by organic fluids, and he has much, much less blood than a man his size should. When his aura breaks, he has to be very mindful of any bleeding, because he can very quickly go into shock as a result of comparatively little damage. He suffers chronic migraines, as mentioned, and headaches are so normal he barely remembers being fully clear-headed. Chronic fatigue and insomnia make a potent cocktail, and as half his body doesn't fatigue the same way as normal man's might, he can struggle to get to sleep. He also - despite being very warm to the touch - very rarely feels warm, as a result of the amount of metal fused to his body. He suffers near-constant phantom pain that flares regularly, and because he cannot take most oral medication, most medications that might help with it don't work on him.

On the flip-side, his already extreme strength is now inhuman, letting him accomplish feats most people can only imagine. His blood-pressure only raises with physical exertion or emotion, preventing him from suffering most heart-related complications, and his blood filters very well keeping him pretty healthy. His mechanical lung means he can almost always breathe pretty steadily and get good oxygen, barring contaminants in the air. He can eat basically whatever he wants within some reason, so long as it isn't totally unhealthy, as his digestive system can handle anything humanly edible with ease, and even some not-humanly edible things. He also suffers significantly less from the ills of age as he gets older, as half of his body is somewhat unfailing: his right hand will never become arthritic, he'll never struggle to get on his feet, he'll never throw out his back, his posture will never screw up his spine, and his heart will never give him trouble. Hells, half of him will never even go numb/"fall asleep" like most folks might in certain bad positions.

All of this results in James feeling very disconnected from his humanity in a lot of ways, despite his personality being that of a protector and defender. Advice he gives to students, soldiers, and friends to rest and eat rarely seem to apply to himself, as his body will handle almost any abuse he puts it through. And, if he survives any particularly terrible thing...he knows he'll likely just. Add more metal to his body.

On a good day, he might even crack a joke about being a living Ship of Theseus, to a close friend. On a bad one, he thinks his worst nightmare is what might happen when he eventually takes so much damage that they might replace the rest of him, rather than letting him just die.

[kirua9]

Which instruments would diaboys play if they were ✨️musicians✨️ (part1)

Firstly, since @besnella said this idea isn't a shit I share it, so thank you Esra!

Characters included: Shu, Reiji, Subaru, Ruki

1. Shu – violin

Well, we all know he is already a violin player. To be honest, I'm not fond of this idea him being a violin player. His laziness is just killing me, 1 thought he hasn't been practicing for hundreds of years – fatale for me as a musician myself. Lol I mean he's the type who actually might not practice but sound well, tho...

I don't believe these people, they must have sold their souls to Satan. But who am I to criticise rejet 💀, huh.

I feel it's not fair to give Shu the chance to play violin, being lazy for person, who plays such an instrument (which requires the perfect pitch, virtuous/good technique, has a leader role in orchestra) is just not fair :)

With such attitude Shu might be a... at least mid viola player, but not more than it. So, I'm kinda mad, but reiet kinda made him "that genius, that it's okay not to mention he even practice regularly.

Well, he listents to music a lot, but 💀. C'mon your fingers and ears have probably forgotten everything".

(As far as I know Shu also can play cello, and piano, huh? I guess, strings are over all interesting for him, haha)

https://youtu.be/eFGU-L9lGJ0

https://youtu.be/tyiN8f5W59U

2. Reijj –viola

Viola doesn't require such brilliant skills of playing which requires violin, even if we're talking about playing in orchestra. Sometimes viola has difficult passages, but they actually have an accompaniment, supporting function for the melody (wich usually play violins), that means their parties aren't that hard. If you're a cool viola player, you can be a soloist, huh, but you really need to have perfect technique and pitch also.

Actually, viola is very underrated and suppressed by violin. In fact, viola's sound is richer, it is deeper and sounds most likely to human voice (which is an advantage, and every instrumentalist wants his instrument to sound natural, just as perfect as the nature created our voice to sound). So in my mind, Reiji, benig a viola player, a very hard-working musician, is the one who endures being the "support" guy in orchestra, while his lazy bro plays the melody. Reiji would say to everyone:" Viola is better! It sounds more beautiful, it lacks of screaching, atrocious violin vocations!" But everyone else would say: "We can't even hear what do you play, violins are too loud, dear".

Also, viola is great when it comes to representing dramatic human voice, sorrowful voice or even the one wich waits for revenge. I think it suits Reiji, somehow.

Examples:

https://youtu.be/WX4W-SD8Qdk

https://youtu.be/nvD2FUwZjD4

3. Subaru – piano

I'm not joking. His physical power coul help him to play the piano, cause I believe he can manage only it, and that's extremely important – the moment of touching the keyboard is the base of playing. It's the base of producing the sound and I believe he'd be perfect at loud and intense parts of piece, but he'd suck when he need to make a gentle sound, although, muscle memory is his everything, I guess.

I really thought about saying Subaru will be good at drums, but there are A LOT of different percussion instruments he'd play, it's not only about the drumkit. I'm talking about the xylophone, marimba, some percussions which really requires technique.

I mean, piano also requires a lot of technical skills, but such a power which Subaru has in his fists is just useless in percussions. You should be very precise, accurate, well-coordinate to play drums , also patient when it comes to orchestra 👀, so... Only piano seems suitable, I think. I think Subaru is not the one who would keep the rhythm well :)

Exampless:

https://youtu.be/LhInwkq4nAw

https://youtu.be/UoWXRlw9vBA

4. Ruki – oboe

I was struggling with this one. The choice between oboe and clarinet was too hard. Ruki for me is 100% a woodwind instrumentalist, because he has cold personality vibes, and windblown instruments are represented very detached-sounding. They aren't as passionate as the strings, so they don't illustrate human voice. They're closer to nature sounds, like birds or wind's blow.

So, oboe has brighter sound than clarinet, also oboe sounds more dramatic than it's "brother". Tho clarinet is softer, more round and you can mistake it for saxophone sounding.

Oboe is unique and more expressive, it slays the air. It also sounds dramatic/tebse because of it's nasal-like sound. Clarinet, on contrary, sounds 100 times more calming, there's no anxious hints in it.

https://youtu.be/2WJhax7Jmxs – oboe

https://youtu.be/0-jZJcpiy8I – clarinet

[fipindustries]

hey, remember a couple of months ago when i went around giving arguments for dualism? lets give that another go!

so, let's take it as a given that the human body is just a biological machine, it is deterministic, ultimatly its behavior is out of our control because we ourselves, our own desitions, our preferences, our thoughts, are going to be dictated by the state of the chemicals inside our brain.

now the thing is, we do know how this feels, this is not that hard to imagine at all. my heart beats because my brain is making it beat, i dont put any concious effort into it, i dont choose at every moment to make it beat because i really like how it fees when it does. i cant move the muscles in my heart the same way i can move my finger. same with breathing, i can try to hold my breath for a long time but eventually my brain will override my efforts and make me take a gulp of air. same with my eyes, i cant choose to keep my eyes open if something crashes against my eye suddenly. same with coughing, if something goes down the wrong pipe my body will make me cough wether i want it or not. same with goosebumps, same with sweating, with producing white cells, with moving my intestines to help the waste flow, with sweating and with a bunch of other things.

and the thing about all these processes is that they feel like they would expect from a biological machine, they feel like nothing, it doesnt feel like we "want" to do them and so we do them, they just happen, without us even being aware of it, with no thought, no feeling, no conciousness of it.

so

why is not every process in our body like that? why is it that when it comes to other things like eating or walking or fucking there is an internal process, an awareness, a feeling? all of those things are just bodily functions like the heart beat or the bowel movement or the shiver due to the cold. all of those things are also ultimatly produced by the mechanical processes of the chemicals in our brains, so why those feel different, why do those involve internal feelings at all? we dont do them automatically or on autopilot as it were. we have to internally feel like we "want" to do them and then internally "choose" to do them and then "will" our body to do it. why?

what is going on there? how can there be a "want" codified into ourself through chemicals and why does that want which generate bodily actions feels diferent than other bodily actions?

i understand that making the brain a general problem solving machine and then giving that brain goals and letting it figure out the means to reach those goals is much more effective, versatile and powerful than merely making all of our survival actions hardcoded like heartbeats or breathing is. and i understand that the question can be answered as "because that is the solution evolution came up with" still doesnt really explain how did evolution did it.

how did evolution summon the right combination of chemicals such that certain actions taken by those chemicals are completly unconcious and others generate an internal awareness, if its all chemicals in the brain then it should all be unconcious or it should all be deliberate but we have this weird mix instead

[rikeijo]

Today's translation #239

Yuri!!! on Life official guidebook, Miyamoto Kenji's interview

Part 2.

--- What was the thing you were most particular about in the choreography?

"There are these step elements called "clusters", which are a combination of 3 types of turns - I didn't make them the same for every character, but instead everyone has his own unique cluster. Of course, there are elements which are common between some skaters, but I on purpose didn't make them the same and in addition, the movements of upper body are also different.

--- Which program was the most fun to create?

"Sexy programs were fun (laugh).

--- You mean Giacometti, I suppose? (laugh)

"Yeah (laugh). His programs were really interesting. Of course, it was hard work to plan the choreography, but I could dance it without getting really tired, because you skate it keeping your muscles relaxed. People who were watching me skating at the rink also told me it was really good, so even after I finished skating, it gave me a lot of fun.

--- Which program was difficult?

"Phichit-kun's and Jean Jacques Leroy's programs. I was dealing with a shoulder injury when I was working on Phichit's program, so it was difficult physically. JJ has this "me me" personality, but it was difficult to skate majestically to express that personality just with your aura, while also paying attention to your back to keep it straight.

--- And if you could make a specific skater skate any of the programs?

"Ahh, but it'll get scary if I get too deep into this question. If I could make Stephane skate Giacometti's SP, it would be a little bit too much, for example (laugh). But, maybe I'd like to see Uno Shoma-kun skate Minami Kenjiro's lighthearted program. Lately, Shoma-kun skates a lot of sexy programs, so I would like to see him skate something with a light and fun rhythm. Shoma-kun has even already worn the same pants as Minami-kun.

--- A part of Charme Japan's collection that you've been working on as a producer. In the anime, Minami-kun wears the same pants.

"Yes, yes. I'm very grateful! Many thanks [for promoting the brand].

[kaasknot]

Heyo! Hope you’re having a good weekend!

I saw this today and wonder if you have a take on it?

https://www.laineygossip.com/rami-malek-to-star-as-buster-keaton-new-drama-series-seems-like-job-for-johnny-knoxville/73389

i've seen so many takes flash through the buster keaton fandom in the past 48 hours, lol. as for this article, i mostly agree with the author's objections to rami malek. he doesn't especially look like buster, but eh, he's got similarly ginormous buggy eyes, which imo is more important than <checks writing on facebook> nose, jawline, or height. also he's a good actor and good with accents, so at face value he's no worse than donald o'connor in 1957's "the buster keaton story."

the thing that took my fucking breath away, though, was this sentence: "Over the last twenty years, no one has done more in cinema to keep the spirit of Buster Keaton alive than Knoxville and the Jackass crew." i am SORRY??? this author thinks fucking jackass is the true spirit of buster keaton???

rant incoming.

i don't particularly like comedy as a genre. it relies too much on idiotic situations, juvenile humor, or humiliation. i've never watched an episode of "jackass," but from what i've heard, it leans hard on the last two. i cannot stress this enough: buster's sense of humor bears almost NOTHING in common with johnny knoxville's, aside from stuntwork.

i hate humiliation-based comedy beyond words. i hate it. i got bullied severely as a kid, and candid camera-type shit where some quote-unquote "comedian" comes along and torments another person for laughs reads to me as pure bullying. when buster cameoed on "candid camera" in 1962, the joke was always on him. he would go into a restaurant and suffer mishap after mishap, to the point that the other patrons would try to help him. the best modern comparison is that tiktok of the guy faking phone confessions so he can capture the eavesdropper's reactions. it's the kindest form of bystander humor i can think of, and a far cry from "jackass."

i have a low tolerance for that kind of comedy too, tbh. it's better than making someone else the butt of the joke, but it's so hard to get the balance right, and more often than not it makes me want to curl up and die of secondhand embarrassment. but i never get that feeling in buster's films. sure, he goes through embarrassing situations, but it never hurts. there's a gentleness and deft touch that keeps it from being sadomasochistic. and i think this is something people don't really understand about his style of comedy: yes, it was physical, and yes, it was slapstick, but it was also surprisingly cerebral. he wasn't just a manchild yelling and throwing pies around; it could be very subtle stuff. and, god, he would have fucking died before he did something like nailing his balls to his thigh or snorting wasabi till he puked. just trying to imagine him doing that is—it's like trying to open a lock with an orange peel. it's not only laughable, it's absurd to try. buster's humor wasn't based in shock value. it was based in logic, wry commentary on humanity, and yes, eye-popping stunts that he walked away from—unharmed.

it's straight up comparing an arabian to a donkey. i mean sure, they're both horse-shaped, right?

back to the article, the author's correct that stuntwork is vital to any buster keaton biopic, and i do have reservations about rami's casting on that front. buster learned how to tumble at the age of three, and he practiced it continuously for the next 67 years. unless rami has a background in dance, gymnastics, or stuntwork... i'm not sure he'll be able to train up the kind of muscle memory he'll need before filming.

but i'm also willing to extend the benefit of the doubt. i heard a rumor that he's also a producer on the series; to me, that indicates he's invested. he wants it to be good.

brace for the worst, hope for the best. that's what i'm doing.

[o-craven-canto]

Tree of Life 6: Metazoa (animals)

Brace yourselves, this one’s long.

[Disclaimer: taxonomy is a complex, ever-changing field, and this overview is certainly not going to be exhaustive, especially concerning extinct groups]

←  Part 5 (Unikonta: amoebae, fungi, and such) Part 6.5 (Porifera, Cnidaria, Plathyhelminthes, Annelida) →

We finally come to Animalia, or Metazoa “animals beyond” (as opposed to Protozoa, which are no longer considered animals at all). Perhaps you won’t find it easy to think of what sponges, chickens, oysters, starfish, and millipedes have in common. Here are the distinctive features that zoologists have identified for Metazoa:

First of all, all animals are heterotrophs, i.e. they cannot produce their own organic molecules, though very few species have become partially autotrophic thanks to symbiosis.

All animals have a diplont life cycle (see part 3), which goes as follows. It starts with two gametes, a female egg cell and a male sperm cell, which has a single flagellum (or, rarely, none), and fuses into the egg cell thanks to an anterior organ called acrosome. Each gamete is haploid, meaning it carries one copy of each gene; the fusion of the gametes produces a diploid zygote, which has two copies of each gene. The zygote multiplies by mitosis to form a multicellular body in which each cell is also diploid (unlike fungi and plants). Animals are always multicellular; while some fungi, namely yeasts, have reverted to unicellularity (see part 5), no animal has done so. Finally, each individual produces new haploid gametes, male and/or female, by meiosis, which discards half the genome in those cells. (All multicellular organisms -- not just animals, but plants and fungi too -- go through a unicellular stage at some point in their life cycle. Why is it so, given that many species can regenerate their body from small fragments and reproduce by division? Probably to keep cancerous mutations in check: if you start as a single cell, either that cell will be healthy, and mutant lineages will have to start all over again; or it will be mutant, and so will be all its descendants, with no healthy cells to exploit, so that the mutation will destroy itself.)

During the development from zygote to multicellular body, the embryo folds to form an inner cavity, and the cells organize themselves in two or three germ layers: an internal endoderm, an external ectoderm, and in most cases a mesoderm which lies in between. Generally speaking, the endoderm forms the lining of the digestive tube with annex glands (e.g. the liver), as well as our lungs; the ectoderm forms the outer coating of the body, with skin, armor, and sense organs, as well as the nervous system; the mesoderm forms other organs (e.g. kidneys, sex glands), bones, and muscles.

Animals have at least two types of tissues: epithelial, which cover surfaces, and connective, which fill up volumes. Epithelial tissues, such as skin and mucous membranes, are made out of one or more layers of tightly packed cells growing over a basal lamina which supplies food. The cells are linked to each other by junctions such as desmosomes, which sew cell membranes to each other making the whole tissue more resistant. In connective tissues, cells are spaced wide apart, sunk in an extracellular matrix. Usually the matrix is a mix of gelatin and elastic fibers made out of proteins, most importantly collagen; but sometimes it may be liquid, as in blood, or built out of hard mineral, as in bone. To these two basic kinds, most animals add two more: muscles and nerves.

Cross-sections of three generic animals. Left to right, acoelomate, pseudocoelomate, eucoelomate. The endoderm (in yellow) forms the gut; the ectoderm (in blue) forms the outer surface; the mesoderm (in pink) fills the space in between. The body of an acoelomate, e.g. a tapeworm, is filled with a mass of mesodermal cells called parenchym (par), in which organs (such as kidneys or gonads, mor) and the gut are immersed. The body is surrounded by an ectodermal epidermis (epi). Simple enough, but the organs are vulnerable to squishing. In a pseudocoelomate, e.g. a hookworm, the other organs are immersed in a fluid-filled cavity called pseudocoelom (pse). Since water is not compressible, it gives the body a fixed volume and some mechanical resistance, as well as distributing substances, and storing products. Unfortunately a puncture wound is easily fatal. In an eucoelomate, e.g. an earthworm, the mesoderm forms a lining or peritoneum (per) that wraps around the coelom (coe) and divides it in sections, as well as mesenteries (mes) that keep organs in place. The separate chambers of the coelom help against liquid loss and allow new kinds of movement, such as burrowing in sand. However, blood vessels (ves) are now required to distribute materials. This is not a strict evolutionary sequence: animal phyla change from one to the other depending on their niche and conditions.

The animal kingdom is -- no wonder -- vast and complex. The most important high-level categories are known as phyla, commonly used in studies of animal diversity and large-scale evolution; here, I’ve written the names of phyla in all caps. The phyla Mollusca, Arthropoda, and the above-phylum group Deuterostomia will all get their own posts; the phyla Porifera, Cnidaria, Platyhelminthes, and Annelida will be described together in part 6.5.

?? 0. † Vendobionta: Let’s start with the strangest, shan’t we? Vendobionta is almost certainly not a clade, but a convenience term for all the weird macroscopic organisms that flourished in the Ediacaran period (once known as Vendian), between 580 and 540 Ma. It’s not clear even that they were all animals, let alone where they might fit in the tree: some have been described as algae, fungi, colonies of protists, or even representatives of a completely lost kingdom of life. In general, they didn’t have visible mouths or sense organs, nor any way to move; they probably (?) absorbed nutrients from water, grazed on mats of bacterial slime, and/or were photosynthetic. They suddenly disappeared at the beginning of the Cambrian, presumably because new organisms with eyes, jaws, and muscles predated them into extinction and/or consumed all their food.

† Trilobozoa “three-lobed animals”: These Vendobionts are radially symmetrical: their body, circular as a whole, is composed of three segments rotated around the central axis. This is quite unique: no living animal has a rotational or a three-fold symmetry (although some Cnidarians have a non-rotational, six-fold one). Branching grooves (a ciliated organ to collect food, maybe?) converge at the center of the upper surface. The most famous representative is † Tribrachidium, found in Russia and Australia.

† Medusoidea “jellyfish-like”: These too are flattened and radially symmetrical, often with concentric rings. The largest, like † Aspidella and † Cyclomedusa, could grow several cm wide. † Arkarua adami has a peculiar five-fold symmetry, like Echinoderms, though it’s unilkely to be related. Sometimes included among the † Medusoidea is † Eoandromeda octobrachiata, a strange galaxy-like being with eight spiral arm coiling out from the center.

† Petalonamae “petals from Namibia”: A set of two groups with plant-like shapes. † Rangeomorpha, most common in Newfoundland, had frond-like fractal structures -- possibly an adaptation to absorb as much food and oxygen as possible from the water. (Maybe sunlight too, but it seems some lived too deep for photosythesis.) Two, three, or six rows of branching fronds emerged from a central axis. Some, like † Charnia, stood upright in the water; others, like † Fractofusus, lay on the seabed. † Erniettomorpha such as † Pteridinium, found in Namibia, had lateral "vanes” formed by rows of sacs.

† Proarticulata “before articulated ones”: The most familiar, maybe. They had flattened bodies and bilateral (which is to say, left-right) symmetry. They also seemed to have internal branching canals that might be remains of a digestive system. † Dickinsonia grew as a thin segmented disk up to a meter long; it might actually be a Ctenophoran (see below), showing both righ-left and front-back symmetry. † Spriggina, from the very end of the Ediacaran, head a sort of “head” shield and rows of segments that might not have been exactly symmetrical, but somewhat offset.

A selection of Vendobionta. Far left: † Charnia masoni († Rangeomorpha, England). (Museo delle Scienze di Trento, via Wikipedia) Upper row, from left: † Spriggina floundersi († Proarticulata, Australia) (Wikipedia); † Ernietta plateauensis († Erniettomorpha, Namibia) (Ivantsov & Zagrevskaya 2021). Lower row, from left: †Tribrachidium heraldicum († Trilobozoa, Australia) (I. & Z. 2021); † Dickinsonia costata († Proarticulata, Australia) (Verisimilus, Wikipedia); † Mawsonites spriggi († Medusoidea) (Nordelch, Wikipedia)

1. PORIFERA “hole-carriers”. The (possibly paraphyletic) phylum of sponges. In general, they have a system of internal ciliated canals collecting food from the water that streams in through lateral pores, and out through a channel at the top. The whole structure is kept up by a basket of various composition. See part 6.5 for more.

? 2. PLACOZOA “plate animals” Honestly, it’s a bit embarassing to call this thing an animal. Until a few years ago, phylum Placozoa counted a grand total of one species, Trichoplax adhaerens from tropical seas (now, the count is three). Its body is simply a single layer of epithelial tissue surrounding a thin syncitium (i.e. a network of fused cells that retain separate nuclei). On the lower side, the epithelium has cilia and digestive glands; on the upper, it contains little crystal spheres that might serve as defense. Trichoplax reproduces by splitting, and feeds by crawling over bacterial mats; it secretes digestive enzymes to break food down, but each epithelial cell takes it up on its own. Recent studies (e.g. Laumer & al 2019) suggest that Placozoa might belong next to Cnidaria.

Trichoplax adharens, top view and cross-section. The whole thing is about 0.5 mm across and 0.025 mm thick. (Oliver Voigt, Wikipedia; Hickman & al 2008)

A model of the origin of animals, starting from a colony of Choanoflagellates (see part 5), passing through the ancestors of sponges, and ending with the likely common ancestor of Eumetazoans, which gave rise to both us and jellyfish. (Nielsen 2012)

3. Eumetazoa “animals well beyond”: All animals more complex than that pass through a process called gastrulation: when the embryo is still just a little ball of cells, it folds inwards producing a hollow or archenteron, the future gut. It communicates with the exterior through an opening called blastopore, the first prototype of a mouth. The two layers of cells produced by the folding, inner and outer, become the endoderm and ectoderm. Thanks to this hollow, Eumetazoans practice extracellular digestion: the uptake of food is not a responsibility of individual cells, like in sponges and Placozoans, but rather food is degraded in the internal cavity by digestive enzymes, and the resulting simple molecules are distributed to all tissues. In Eumetazoans we also see the first appearance of the nervous system, which allows coordinated action of the whole body. In recent classifications, it’s being phased out in favor of Parahoxozoa, the animals defined by the presence of Hox genes, which specify different body regions and ensure that each anatomical structure forms in the correct part of the body; this would include Cnidaria and perhaps Placozoa too, but would exclude Ctenophora.

3a. CNIDARIA “nettles”: The phylum of corals, sea anemones, jellyfish, man-o’-wars, and curious parasites that have long been believed to be protists. They have radial symmetry (4-, 6-, or 8-fold), a single opening where the radia meet in the center, and specialized stinging cells for defense and hunting. See part 6.5 for more detail.

?? 3b. CTENOPHORA “comb-carriers”: What a strange situation! Ctenophorans have distinct tissues, appendages, a nervous system, and even have all three germ layers, unlike Porifera, Placozoa, and Cnidaria which lack the mesoderm. This would put them next to Bilateria (see below); except that recent molecular studies (e.g. Laumer &al 2019) insist on placing them in a basal position, further away from us than even sponges! An artifact of unusually fast evolution rates, perhaps? Most Ctenophorans (e.g. Mertensia or Pleurobrachia) have bag-shaped bodies with the mouth at one pole (serving both to eat and to expel waste) and a branching, blind-end gut. Eight rows of combs, each of which is a band of cilia, run along the sides: hence the common name of “comb jellies”. In fact, they are the largest organisms on Earth that swim with cilia instead of muscles. Two tentacles may be retracted into pouches or extended to catch preys thanks to colloblasts, specialized glue-producing cells. Others, like Beroë, lost their tentacles; Coeloplana flattened its body to crawl on the seabed; the “Venus’ girdle” (Cestum veneris) extended it sideways to swim like a lopsided worm. Class † Scleroctenophora, endowed with armor plates, is known from the Cambrian but now extinct.

A variety of comb jellies. Left: Mertensia ovum, with one tentacle retracted. The rainbow shimmer of the comb rows is a distinctive feature of Ctenophora. Right: Beroë, Cestum, and Coeloplana. The mouth of Coeloplana is on the bottom, its lining forming the whole lower surface. Note that the body of Cestum is not long and narrow -- it’s short and very broad! (Kevin Raskoff, Wikipedia; Hickman & al 2008)

3c. Bilateria “two-sided”: The name says it all: animals in this clade have bilateral symmetry, with a left and a right side that are (in general) mirror images of each other, while keeping a distinction (thanks to signalling gradients during embryo development) between a front and back end. This allows them to concentrate their feeding and sensorial apparatus in the front, when the body first encounters new stuff, while the expulsion of waste and gametes moves to the back: a good plan if you’re an organism that moves consistently in one direction. In general, Bilaterians have a linear gut with an anterior mouth and a posterior anus, where food always flows from front to back.

3c1. Acoelomorpha: A group of marine worms, with thin bodies a few mm long. The simplest sort of Bilaterians: unlike almost all others, they don’t have a distinct mouth and anus, but a single opening at the center of their ventral surface, like jellyfish. That opening, which serves both as mouth and anus, does not lead into a gut (not even a jellyfish-style cavity), but onto a simple mass of endodermal cells that break down food. The body is covered by a thin ciliated epidermis; between these two layers, there are mesodemal muscles, nerves, ovaries, and testicles (they’re all hermaphroditic). That’s... about it. It’s not clear whether this simplicity is primitive, or a secondary loss of traits. They comprise three phyla, ACOELA, NEMERTODERMATIDA, and also XENOTURBELLIDA, whose 2 species were until recently classified next to Echinoderms (e.g. starfish).

3c2. Protostomia “mouth first”: This group is defined by a number of features, but few of its members possess them all. In theory, when the embryo folds to create a proto-gut, the resulting opening, or blastopore, should give rise to the mouth, with the anus appearing later; in Deuterostomes the opposite is true. In practice, this is only true in some cases. The nervous system is formed by a number of ganglia strewn along paired ventral nerve cords; these cords form a loop around the mouth, which in some cases (e.g. in spiders and octopodes) becomes a brain. Many groups of Protostomes develop from planktonic larvae that swim and collect food with bands of cilia.

3c2a. ? Mesozoa “middle animals” So called because they were once thought to lie between the simpler sponges and the more complex Eumetazoa. All there is to their body is a single layer of ciliated cells surrounding a mass of maturing eggs. In fact, they are descendants of relatively complex Protostomes that shed most of their body structures as a consequence of living as parasites: ORTHONECTIDA live in the body cavities of various marine invertebrates, RHOMBOZOA only in the kidneys of squids and octopodes.

Left: a generic Acoela, possibly the model from which all Bilaterian animals from snails to pigeons and from wasps to starfish developed. Right: the Mesozoan Rhopalura (Nemertodermatida; female above, male below).

3c2b. Gnathifera “jaw-carriers”: A diverse clade of invertebrates. Most are microscopic, and form a pretty good part of marine animal plankton. They have some variety of jaws made out of chitin, a nitrogen-rich sugar that we already saw in the cell wall of Fungi (see part 5).

? 3c2b1. CHAETOGNATHA “hairy jaws”: They go by the common name of “arrow worms”. Unlike most worms, they swim in open water, with undulations of their flattened body which extends sideways into fish-like fins. They even have, like vertebrates, a post-anal tail that doesn’t contain the intestine. The head has a large hood that conceals rows of chitinous grasping spines.

3c2b2. GNATHOSTOMULIDA “little jawed mouths”: Delicate mm-sized worms that live between grains of sand on beaches and seafloors. They have rasping jaws to scrape bacteria and fungi off sand grains and into a blind-end gut.

3c2b3. MICROGNATHOZOA “animals with tiny jaws”: A phylum with only one species, Limnognathia maerski on Greenland. A tiny wrinkled thing only 0.15 mm long, but with bizarrely complex retractile jaws, made out of 15 different elements. All other structures are very simple; it uses cilia to move and feed. Only females have ever been found.

3c2b4. ROTIFERA “wheel-carriers” or Syndermata “fused skins”: Another of the big ones. They are named after the wheel-like ciliate crown (corona) which, beating, creates the water current they use to swim and feed. Almost always microscopic, they have a great variety of body shapes, sac-like, worm-like, or spiny, sometimes with a thick segmented armor. They have little jaws and usually a foot with adhesive glands to stick to a substrate, which can fold onto itself like a spyglass. Under the cuticle, their skin is a syncytium, that is, fused cells that share their cytoplasm. Rotiferan class Bdelloidea is famous for having only females, which reproduce by parthenogenesis, their males having gone extinct some 25 million years ago. Until recently considered a separate phylum, Acanthocephala (“spiny heads”) is a group of Rotifers that specialized for life as parasites, losing jaws and gut, and developing an eversible spiny proboscis to attach to the intestine of vertebrates.

Variety of Gnathifera. On top: the chitinous jaws of Gnathiferan phyla, in red (Nicolas Bekkouche, Wikipedia). Below, from left: the arrowworm Pterosagitta draco (Chaetognatha), with its grasping spines extruded (Animal Diversity Web); some examples of Rotifera (Hickman & al 2008); Limnognathia maerski, only species of Micrognathozoa, carrying an enormous, highly decorated egg (Brusca 2016).

3c2c. Rouphozoa “sucking animals”

3c2c1. PLATYHELMINTHES “flat worms” The phylum of, well, flatworms; which includes such fascinating beings as flukes and tapeworms. They have lost their anus, and so have only a mouth leading into a branching gut; but often they are parasitic, and can absorb nutrients from the host through their skin. See part 6.5.

3c2c2. GASTROTRICHA “hairy bellies”: Millimeter-sized aquatic worms with a rounded back and a flattened belly, all covered in scales, spines, and bristles. Unlike flatworms, they have distinct mouth and anus, but for the rest their body organization is similar. They have a distinct brain that might also contain simple eyespots, and adhesive glands to attach to a substrate.

3c2d. Lophotrochozoa “animals with crest or wheel” or Spiralia: This group has several common traits but none that truly universal. The former name refers to the trochophora, a particular type of larva that swims with several ciliated bands, and has a sensorial apical organ connected to nerve ganglia. This larva was probably found in the earliest Protostomes but lost in most of their other branches. The latter name refers to a feature of embryonal development called spiral cleavage: the cells on top of the early embryo shift around so they’re no longer aligned with the ones below.

3c2d1. MOLLUSCA “soft ones” The phylum of chitons, tusk shells, clams, oysters, scallops, slugs, snails, squids, octopodes, and cuttlefish. The defining features are a muscular foot used for locomotion (which divides into the tentacles of squids), a tongue-like radula used to scratch at food, and a mantle that surrounds the organ mass and generally secretes a calcareous shell. We shall see more of them in part 7.

3c2d2. ANNELIDA “ringed” The phylum of segmented worms, such as ragworms, tubeworms, earthworms and leeches. They have a body divided in compartments with a true coelom, and blood vessels along its length; each segment contains its own excretory apparatus and usually locomorory appendages or bristles. See part 6.5.

3c2d3. NEMERTEA (named after the sea nymph Nemertes, “the unerring”) or Rhynchocoela “hollow muzzle”: Known as “ribbon worms”, they are mostly marine, though there are a few terrestrial species. They have a sharp-tipped muscular proboscis, normally tucked in a pocket in their head, which can shoot out like the tongue of a chameleon to catch preys. They are the simplest animals that have closed blood vessels, like us, rather than have blood soaking their whole body. For the rest, they are rather similar to Turbellarian flatworms, which we’ll see in part 6.5.

3c2d4. CYCLIOPHORA “wheel carriers”: A micro-phylum with no more than three species, all in genus Symbion, first discovered in 1995. All of them live exclusively on the mouthparts of cold-water lobsters, stealing a tiny fraction of their meals. They are sac-shaped, with an adhesive foot and a ciliate mouth at the top, only 0.3 mm long, and reproduce by budding.

Left: minute Lepidodermella squamatum (Gastrotricha), next-of-kin of flatworms (Giuseppe Vago, Wikipedia). Right: the ribbon worm Gorgonorhynchus repens (Nemertea), extruding its uniquely branched proboscis in response to a threat (Rachel Koning, Wikipedia)

3c2d5. Lophophorata “crest-carriers”: Distinguished by having a lophophore, a hydraulic ridge covered in ciliated tentacles that catch microscopic food particles when exposed to a water current. The gut is U-shaped, with the mouth opening at the center of the lophophore, and the anus usually just outside. Usually unable to move much -- they are very ‘coral-like’ in lifestyle.

3c2d5a. † HYOLITHA “Y-shaped stone”: A completely extinct phylum from the Paleozoic era, some 500-to-250 million years ago. They had conical shells with a cap to close them, and coiling structures that perhaps served to prop them up on the seafloor. These structures are called helens, after the daughter of the paleontologist who described them.

3c2d5b. BRYOZOA “moss-animals” or Ectoprocta “anus outside” or Polyzoa “many animals”: Very coral-like indeed: colonial animals with tiny polyps that grow on hard surfaces, forming a chitinous or calcareous communal skeleton. Alcyonidium forms gelatinous finger-like columns; Membranipora forms delicate lace-like webs; Plumatella forms rigid branches. Food particles are carefully selected by the tentacles and can be rejected. The guts of the polyps are connected internally, so they don’t all need to catch food on their own; some are free to specialize for different functions, such as whip-like vibracula and beak-shaped avicularia, which defend the whole colony.

3c2d5c. ENTOPROCTA “anus inside”: Basically the same as Bryozoans, except the anus opens inside the lophophore, too. Can be colonial or solitary.

3c2d5d. PHORONIDA (named after the Phoronis or Io, a lover of Zeus): A very small phylum with animals that resemble Bryozoa but are not colonial. They have tube-shaped body several cm long, anchored to rock or buried in sand, into which their flower-like lophophores can be retracted.

3c2d5e. BRACHIOPODA “arm-feet”: A sad story: between 500 and 350 million years ago, Brachiopods or “lampshells” were absolutely everywhere in Earth’s seas, but they were hit badly by the Devonian and Permian mass extinctions, and now only a few hundred species are left, their niches mostly taken over by Bivalve mollusks (e.g. clams). They are indeed quite clam-like, but whereas Bivalves have symmetrical left- and right-valves, Brachiopods have a larger upper valve and a smaller lower one. Enclosed between these valves is a pair of spiral-shaped lophophores which deliver food particles to the mouth.

Top left: two Symbion pandora (Cycliiophora) with larvae growing from their side (Nielsen 2012). Bottom left: Frenulina sanguinolenta (Brachiopoda) from the tropical Pacific, with the half-open valves revealing the curled lophophores inside (Brusca 2016). Right: the freshwater colonial Bryozoan Cristatella mucedo, with dozens of lophophorate polyps producing a common gelatinous matrix to creep about like a slug (Ernst Haeckel).

3c2e. Ecdysozoa “molting animals”: The distinctive feature of this clade is covering their whole body with a cuticle made out of organic molecules. The cuticle is strong and water-proof, but since it’s not made of cells it cannot grow: as the animal develops to adult size, it must shed or molt periodically its old cuticle and secrete a new one from its bare skin. They have few or no cilia (even their sperm cells often lack flagella!), and may have hard “teeth” or scales around the mouth.

3c2e1. Scalidophora “platelet-carriers”: A group of phyla whose cuticle is moade out of chitin, forming various kinds of plates, scales, and spines. They all live in sand or gravel.

3c2e1a. LORICIFERA “armor-carriers”: A small phylum discovered only in the 1980s. They have an egg-shaped armor or lorica and a retractile, cone-shaped head surrounded by long spines. Less than a mm long, they live in gravelly seafloors, eating bacteria. Three species discovered in the deep Mediterranean in 2014 are the only multicellular organisms known to survive in perpetual lack of oxygen.

3c2e1b. KINORHYNCHA “mobile muzzle”: Sometimes known as “mud dragons”, these tiny mud-dwelling worms have an 11-segmented trunk covered in back-pointing spines, and a further ring of spines surrounding their mouth. They cannot swim, but only crawl or burrow with their hydraulic extensile head: the spines prevent them from sliding backward.

3c2e1c. PRIAPULIDA “little Priapus”. These seafloor-dwelling worms have evertible hydraulic heads they use to burrow in the sand, which make them look like... well, there’s a reason they are named after the Greek god of penises. Size’s about the same, too. The cylindrical body is mostly filled with liquid and by very large gonads, and ends posteriorly with mysterious hollow appendages probably used to breathe.

The strange and unfairly obscure Scalidophora. Left: Pliciloricus enigmatus, the first Loriciferan ever discovered (Carolyn Gast). Top right: the “mud dragon” Echinoderes (Kinorhyncha), with its spiny head fully protracted (Brusca 2016). Bottom right: Priapulus caudatus (Priapulida), lying on a Norwegian beach, with its burrowing head inflated (Hickman & al 2008).

3c2e2. Nematoidea “thread-like”: A clade of two rather similar phyla of worms.

3c2e2a. NEMATODA “threads”: One of the big ones: there are tens of thousands of named species. Their body is smooth and cylindrical (hence the name of “roundworms”); a pseudocoelom filled with liquid under pressure, contained by a tough collagen cuticle, gives them shape; they have lost any trace of cilia or flagella. They have a linear gut that starts with a large muscular pharynx to suck microscopic preys. Muscles run only along the body length, and are used to swim or burrow in a whip-like motion. Most, living in water and soil, are under 1 mm long, but parasite species can be larger; for example the cm-sized Ascaris lumbricoides, commonly found in the gut of people who ingest dirt. Placentonema, which lives in the uterus of sperm whales, can grow to 8 meters long! Other parasites are whipworms (Trichuris), hookworms (e.g. Ancylostoma), dog heartworms (Dirofilaria), and the terrible Wuchereria which causes elephantiasis. Most species however are harmless eaters of bacteria. The microscopic Caenorhabditis elegans is famous among biologists as one of the most extensively studied organisms in the world, since it’s so easy to raise and lives only a few days. A peculiarity of Nematodes is eutely, which means their development is so strictly organized that each species has a fixed number of cells: an adult hermaphrodite C. elegans, for instance, has exactly 959 cells; here’s the full list.

3c2e2b. NEMATOMORPHA “thread-shaped”: A much smaller phylum than Nematoda, and exclusively parasitic. Perhaps you’ll have seen haunting videos of huge tangles of worms sliding out of an insect’s abdomen upon being immersed in water: those are Nematomorphs, also known as “horsehair worms”. They are fairly similar to Nematodes, but their gut is fused into a solid mass of cells; most of their food they absorb as larvae, living in the “blood” of arthropods.

Top: a hermaphrodite adult of Caenorhabditis elegans (Nematoda), about 1 mm long; this species has males and hermaphrodites, but no specialized females (WormAtlas). Bottom left: the friendly smile of the hookworm Ancylostoma caninum (Nematoda), which uses those hooks to attach to the intestine wall of dogs (Brusca 2016). Bottom right: the horsehair worm Paragordius tricuspidatus (Nematomorpha) leaving the husk of its host, a cricket (Hickman & al 2008). As they need to hatch in water, Nematomorphs of that species alter the behavior of their host to induce it to drown itself in the closest pond.

3c2e3. Panarthropoda “all arthropods”: Or rather, one should say, Arthropods plus their closest relations, which usually have some kind of paired limbs. Loosely synonymous with Lobopodia “lobed feet”. Their coelom is very reduced, and replaced by a haemocoel filled with blood (more properly hemolymph) in which organs are directly soaking. A muscular heart ensures blood circulations, but other than it there are no blood vessels.

?3c2e3a. † DINOCARIDIDA “fearsome shrimps”: Wonderfully weird quasi-Arthropods from the seas of the Cambrian. They were the top predators of their environment, with well-developed eyes, relatively large brains, and massive raptorial appendages. Just take † Anomalocaris, with its pair of articulated mouth tentacles, looming with its half meter of length over a mostly cm-sized fauna, or † Opabinia, with its five (!) eyes and mouth at the end of a flexible proboscis. The later † Tamisiocaris even took to whale-style filter-feeding with comb-like appendages. They didn’t have real limbs, but lateral flaps that probably beat up and down, “rowing” in the water.

A beautiful selection of † Dinocaridida by Junnn11 (Wikipedia). Top left: † Anomalocaris canadensis, the largest predator of Burgess Shale. Top right: † Opabinia regalis. Bottom left: † Pambdelurion whittingtoni. Bottom right: † Kerygmachaela kierkegaardi. All are from the Cambrian; top row from Burgess Shale (Canada, about 510 million years ago), bottom row from Sirius Passet (Greenland, about 520 million years ago).

3c2e3b. TARDIGRADA “slow walkers”: You know these: “water bears”, those adorable microscopic eight-pawed creatures famous for being incredibly resistant to environmental stresses and dangers by dehydrating and stopping their own metabolism. (Boiling water! Liquid nitrogen! Pure alcohol! Hard vacuum! In reality, no species is resistant to all.) They have, guess what, a muscular pharynx with retractile stylets to pierce and suck fluids from animal or plant cells. They are so small that their muscles only have a handful of cells each, and they can expel eggs or waste only when molting their cuticle.

3c2e3c. ONYCHOPHORA “claw-carriers”: While all the other phyla are partly, mostly, or even exclusively aquatic (and often just marine), Onychophorans are the only animal phylum that is exclusively terrestrial. To be sure, its first representatives in the Cambrian, like Burgess Shale’s Aysheaia, lived in shallow seas; but their descendants are found only in the litter of tropical forests. Known as “velvet worms” because of their soft chitinous cuticle, they have cylindrical bodies walking on up-to-40 pairs of stubby clawed legs. The mouth is flanked by antennae and by massive slime glands that can shoot strings of gluey mucus to entangle preys and predators. Like insects, they breathe through lateral spiracles that allow air directly into the body. They are usually live-bearing, and may even have a placenta.

Left: the velvet worm Peripatoides novaezelandiae (Onychophora) (Uwe Schneehagen, Wikipedia). Elsewhere: a variety of Tardigrades: Hypsibius dujardini (top), Milnesium tardigradum (bottom left), and Echiniscoides sigismundi (bottom right) (Animal Diversity Web).

3c2e3d. ARTHROPODA “articulated feet”. Nothing much. Just like, you know, >90% of the whole Animal kingdom by species count. Spiders, scorpions, mites, crustaceans, millipedes, and all sorts of insects are here -- see parts 8 and 9 on that!

3c3. Deuterostomia “mouth second”: The other major part of Bilateria, distinguished from Protostomia by features of embryonal development, chiefly the fact that the blastopore develops into the anus and not the mouth. The two main phyla of Deuterostomes are Echinodermata (starfish, sea urchins, and such) and Chordata (vertebrates and our kin). See part 10 to continue our journey in that direction.

...

Special secret bonus phylum! MONOBLASTOZOA “single-layer animal”. Only one species known, Salinella salve, which was observed exactly once in 1892 in a salt pan in Argentina and then was never seen again, so that today most zoologists doubt it ever even existed. They supposedly have only one kind of cells, forming a single ciliated layer than encloses a gut with a mouth and an anus.

Summary. Dates (mostly from Edgecombe & al 2011 and Parfrey & al 2011) are in millions of years ago. Note how most of the radiation occurs between the Ediacaran (”Ediac.”) and Cambrian (“Cambr.”) periods -- roughly between 600 and 500 million years ago.

Sources Adl & al (2019), “Revisions to the Classification, Nomenclature, and Diversity of Eukaryotes” (link) Brusca (2016), Invertebrates (3rd edition), Sinauer Dunn &al (2018), “Ediacaran developmental biology” (link) Edgecombe & al (2011), “Higher-level metazoan relationships: recent progress and remaining questions” (link) Fernández & Gabaldón (2020), “Gene gain and loss across the metazoan tree of life” (link) Giribet (2016), “Genomics and the animal tree of life: conflicts and future prospects” (link) Hickman & al (2008), Integrated Principles of Zoology (14th edition), McGraw-Hill Ivantsov & Zagrevskaya (2021), “Symmetry of Vendobionta (Late Precambrian Metazoa” (link) Laumer & al 2019, “Revisiting metazoan phylogeny with genomic sampling of all phyla” (link) Nielsen (2012), Animal Evolution: Interrelationships of the Living Phyla Parfrey & al (2011), “Estimating the timing of early eukaryotic diversification with multigene molecular clocks“ (link)

[kopivie]

i recc using picrew!~ easiest way to get a faceclaim for ur ocs or just commission an artist hehe ANYWAYS DW ABOUT INFO DUMPING THAT'S LITR WHAT IM ASKING FOR LJSDMKSMKSGE

"if i had to explain their eye being a gemstone, i'd say that in a desperate attempt to keep lazuli alive after the accident, lapis dragged them to a cave on the outskirts of the city and begged with the spirits to save their friend, to which they responded by giving them an "eye" — the gem — imbued with spiritual and elemental energy strong enough for them to use the elements and stay alive. couldn't give them sight, though. they were born blind to begin with." bro. BBROOO??? i have a feeling this accident can be a such an important part of their story like what if they had some conflicts here and there bc of it!!

also gosh the world but be gorgeousss i'm assuming this has the usual fantasy world hierarchy? "rigel and saipha are actually the royals of this empire, with rigel being the heir to the throne (although it's currently in council whether or not to pass the title onto saipha)" ESP WITH THIS!! is rigel not a worthy leader??

ooo talkjing about hierarchies, where would lapiz and lazuli be?

"as for draconian caves, i maintain that precious gemstones like... well, lapis lazuli, come from these caves. t" DOES THAT MEAN THESE KINDS OF GEMS ARE LIKE,, ULTRA RARE?? DO THEY NOT HAPPEN IN NORMAL SETTINGS?

you're enabling me so hard rn I FEEL FUCKING INSANE RN (/pos)

anyway, i did a little (read as: a lot) of picrew searching and ig i came up with tentative designs for lapis and lazuli!

so the first one, the blonde, is lapis! lazuli is the second two — an image of them with the eyepatch and without it.

AND OOOOH BOY ABOUT RIGEL, OKAY OKAY

so rigel is like. built like a himbo. 6'4 muscle tower, but he's SUCH a fucking teddy bear. he's a baby. soft boy. wouldn't hurt a fly.

the problem with him not being able to hurt a fly however, is that being emperor is a cutthroat position. rigel is too soft -- to the council/nobles, he is far too weak to run the empire. his younger sister saipha on the other hand, is far more suited for the position.

saipha's mana manifested in such a way that using her abilities puts her out of commission for an extended period of time unfortunately, but the council feels that a ruler that is out of commission is far better than a ruler who refuses to put down their foot in dire situations. rigel feels so useless, and saipha feels bad for taking his birthright, but he doesn't resent her, and she doesn't hate him. they're just good siblings who have been dealt a tough hand.

lapis and lazuli would be close to the middle of the social hierarchy, though they do most of their dealings in the dark. they reside close to the slums despite their moderately upscale abode, and they have their influence in the black market, amongst other shady circles. if people knew what they were doing, they'd be ousted and jailed, probably, but they put on such a good face that no one knows the truth unless you do a looooot of digging.

also! gems like lapis lazuli are rare! dragons are not extinct, but they're not endangered, either. they're just hard to come by, as are their hollowed out corpses. whenever there's a surplus of caves, the bigger kingdoms like the avrigian empire and the xedian dynasty try to fight for it because the gemstones that the walls produce hold high value and lots of magical energy. the leaderless nation of bahamania is where dragons can mostly be found, and where most of the caves are as well.

bahmania is hardly a nation and more of a land mass that's rich with magical and natural resources. it's also where spirits/nymphs and humans reside with their offspring for safety reasons. (hybrid children are... not received well. they're seen as "exotic" and can be sold.) dragons love it there because of how untouched it is by mankind.

fun fact: lapis was born in bahmania, but was taken out of there by their human father against their mother's wishes.

[mktgluna]

INHALE® Superoxygenated Water: The Oxygen-Powered Fuel for Your Active Lifestyle

In the pursuit of better health, wellness, and performance, many people overlook the most fundamental element of our survival — oxygen. Yet, oxygen plays a critical role in every process that keeps us energized, sharp, and performing at our best. When you think about hydration, you may not immediately consider how oxygen could be a part of the equation. But with INHALE® Superoxygenated Water, this is exactly what you get — oxygen-rich water that’s designed to fuel your body and optimize your daily performance.

What makes INHALE® so unique? It’s water with 7x more oxygen concentration than normal water, delivering pure, oxygen-infused hydration that supports your active lifestyle — and nothing else. There are no additives, no chemicals, just a supercharged version of the most essential nutrient for your body.

Oxygen: The Power Behind Your Performance

Oxygen is the key to unlocking your body’s full potential. It is the driving force that powers cellular functions, fuels muscles during exercise, enhances cognitive function, and speeds up recovery. Typically, we get oxygen through breathing, but it’s also dissolved in water. The higher the oxygen concentration in the water we drink, the more benefits we receive. That’s where INHALE® Superoxygenated Water stands out — it’s formulated to deliver a significantly higher concentration of oxygen than regular water, giving your body the oxygen boost it needs to perform at its best.

The Benefits of Oxygenated Water

Here’s how INHALE® Superoxygenated Water can make a real difference in your daily routine:

1. Increased Energy and Endurance

Oxygen is vital for energy production at the cellular level. With more oxygen available, your body can produce more energy (ATP), which means you’ll feel more energized, whether you’re powering through a demanding workout, a busy day at work, or long hours of travel. The 7x higher oxygen concentration in INHALE® helps improve endurance and reduce feelings of fatigue.

2. Enhanced Muscle Recovery

When you exercise, your muscles work hard and deplete oxygen reserves, which leads to fatigue and soreness. After your workout, your muscles need oxygen to repair and recover. INHALE® Superoxygenated Water gives your body the oxygen it needs to recover faster, reducing muscle soreness and helping you bounce back more quickly after physical exertion.

3. Sharper Focus and Mental Clarity

Oxygen also fuels the brain, keeping it sharp and alert. Whether you’re studying for exams, working on a big project, or simply managing daily tasks, having more oxygen circulating in your bloodstream can boost your cognitive performance. By drinking INHALE® Superoxygenated Water, you can experience improved focus, mental clarity, and productivity throughout the day.

4. Superior Hydration

We all know the importance of staying hydrated, but hydration isn’t just about drinking water — it’s about how well your body absorbs and utilizes it. INHALE® Superoxygenated Water optimizes hydration by ensuring your body absorbs water at the cellular level more efficiently. This superior hydration helps keep your body functioning at its best, maintaining energy levels, muscle function, and mental acuity throughout the day.

5. Support for Health and Wellness

Oxygen plays a vital role in supporting the immune system, detoxification, and overall wellness. By drinking INHALE® Superoxygenated Water, you’re giving your body the oxygen it needs to perform its natural functions more effectively, helping you stay resilient, healthy, and energized.

Pure, Clean, and Powerful

Unlike many performance drinks or energy beverages that are loaded with sugars, preservatives, and artificial ingredients, INHALE® Superoxygenated Water is as clean as it gets. There are no chemicals, no additives, and no sugar — just pure water infused with oxygen. It’s the most natural way to hydrate, perform, and recover, making it an ideal option for anyone looking to fuel their body without the downside of unnecessary ingredients.

A Complete Solution for Your Active Lifestyle

Whether you’re an athlete pushing your body to new limits, a busy professional trying to stay focused and productive, or someone simply trying to lead a healthier, more active life, INHALE® Superoxygenated Water is the ideal hydration solution.

Some ways to incorporate INHALE® into your daily routine include:

Before a Workout: Boost endurance and energy to power through your exercise session with more oxygen at your disposal.

Post-Workout: Speed up recovery and reduce muscle soreness by replenishing oxygen levels in your muscles.

Throughout the Day: Stay hydrated and energized during your busy workday, helping you maintain focus and performance.

During Travel: Combat jet lag and fatigue by drinking oxygenated water that supports your body’s natural rhythm and hydration needs.

The Future of Hydration

We know that hydration is key to health and performance, but INHALE® Superoxygenated Water takes hydration to the next level. With 7x more oxygen than normal water, it is the cutting-edge solution for anyone looking to maximize their energy, enhance recovery, and support overall wellness.

Conclusion

Don’t settle for regular water when you can fuel your body with INHALE® Superoxygenated Water. With its ultra-high oxygen concentration and pure, all-natural formulation, it’s the ultimate hydration tool for anyone who wants to stay at the top of their game — no matter their lifestyle. Whether you’re training hard, working long hours, or simply striving for better health, INHALE® Superoxygenated Water is the oxygen-rich solution your body needs to perform at its peak. Drink in the difference. Drink INHALE®.