#which means im not getting a raise lol
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#alright new update that no one asked for#ive been promoted! kind of#theyre having me be the acting manager for 3 months to see how i perform#which means im not getting a raise lol#but in 3 months theyre supposed to follow up and maybe make it permanent#they didnt guarantee#so thats good news#but also thats the same thing they told our last housekeeping manager when she started and so she worked as a mamager for starting pay#and they kept just extending the trial period for a year until she threatened to quit#and then they finally gave her the correct pay#so my advisors are telling me to ger the agreement in writing for my own protection#didnt ger the chance to today its been a shit show#but ill talk to the gm later
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Had an interview on Monday after turning down a different position Last monday, and i thought the interview went really well.
Apparently i was right bc I GOT THE JOB I GOT THE JOB I START IN TWO WEEKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#THIS ONE PAYS ALMOST DOUBLE OF THE ONE I HAD TO UN-ACCEPT#(bc it didnt pay me enough to live lol)#the new job.. its not in my ‘field of study’ technically#But! I’ve been working in pharmacy for five years and have a minor in chemistry#which apparently means smth to these ppl bc!!#it got me FIVE DOLLARS AN HOUR ABOVE THE STARTING SALARY#THATS SIX MORE DOLLARS THAN IM MAKING NOW#AND ILL GET ANOTHER RAISE WHEN I GET MY CERTIFICATION IN A FEW MONTHS#I’LL BE MAKING ENOUGH TO GET MY OWN APARTMENT#IM GONNA MOVE OUT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#god i hope this job doesnt end up sucking ass !!!!!#if ppl are curious about the details of this whole Ordeal actually I’ll make a post lmao#the past eight months have been batshit insane#up to something#im so excited askjldfkj
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Maybe I’m stupid (likely) but I feel like Gojo resembling Toji in his battle with Megumi!Sukuna is trying to show that he is a paternal figure in Megumi’s life. Like the two different sides of Megumi’s male paternal figures (or I guess the two most consistent male adult figures in Megumi’s life)??? I don’t buy that Gojo was a father figure for Tsumiki and Megumi (to me he was more like Spencer from ICarly lmao) but like…i feel like the outfit similarity is trying to say something about their relationship on a familial or paternal scale…but im too dumb to fully phrase this how i want so maybe just ponder on this for me hahaha
#this doesn’t make sense lol I’m just confused#I can read so many books and get the subtext and all that#but there’s so many conflicting things about jjk due to translation error or whatever#so I’m like…maybe I’m over thinking this???#im a Megumi thinks of Gojo as family and vice versa truther though so im biased#but since im catching up on everything i ended up seeing discourse around the dadjo takes#and this question popped into my mind lol#anyway thank you for coming to my ted talk#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu gojo#gojo satoru#toji fushiguro#megumi fushiguro#jjk#ok and to clarify I don’t mean paternal as in dad#I mean it like Gojo was a consistent adult figure for those children#they would naturally defer to him as a paternal figure after enough exposure#cause I see things saying Tsumiki raised him which yeah she did#but to say Gojo wasn’t present as an adult authority figure is wrong imo#it was a mix of Tsumiki raising him day to day and Gojo making regular visits I think idk translation gets a little weird there#but yeah paternal =\= dad Gojo is what I’m trying to say
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#so my mom's wake thing was today and that was a lot. not in an emotional sense but in a im standing here talking for 3hrs#to ppl i dont kno or barely kno. ya kno? but it was good bc so many ppl showed up to talk abt her#so many people. my mom made a huge impact on the school system. so many ppl relied on her. she encouraged at least 2 ppl to get their#master. for one person to specilize in helping the dyslexic after her experience advocating for 3 dyslexic daughters. she wrote and was#awarded a 10000 dollar grant for special needs and intervention curriculum. which will affect so many lives.#everyone loved her. she's gonna get a track meet named after her and a scholarship created in her honor.#she was an amazing person and she affected a lot of lives and im glad she was my mom. and she raised at least one jem in my littlest#sister who is so sweet and is a great teacher. god but there was some weird stuff too. were pretty sure her old boss was in love with her.#and there were some weird comments abt her being a strong woman or this woman doing so much and its like hm y do i detect a note of sexism#y not say she was an amazing person? y the surprise? weird comments about how pretty i looked. which yes i looked great lol. my funeral fit#was cute. we did bright colors bc it was a celebration not a dower event. and im sure it was ment well but it was a lil weird. and then#everyone was telling my grandma what a great job she did raising my mom and like god fuck off she didn't do jack. my mom was great despite#her terrible mother. ugh. but altogether it was good that everyone was able to express their love for her. it was def a day that was for#them mostly. i mean partly for us but mostly for them. none of us even cried. ay but we have 2 more parties in her honor#bc everyone loved her so much we have to do one in her hometown too. plus a personal friends get together. ugh. im so tired#i wish i wasnt the most awkward. eye contact avoidant person in the room but like ya kno. what can ya do?#unrelated
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Shino raising his dead friends and friend's dog from the dead with the power of bugs as one friend's cousin watches [not clickbait]
#speculation nation#fanny watches naruto#bugs ment/#this mini arc is fucking wild actually what the fuck is going on#i am VERY definitely past everything ive seen before. both anime and manga.#which means this is all new. and i dont know whats going on hdskhfks#ino holding hands with shikamaru and choji (and making them hold hands) was really cute tho🥺🥺🥺#for circulating their chakra to keep them alive etc etc anyways those are her BOYS!!!!!! shes working so hard to keep them alive!!!!!!!!!#and then shino using his bugs to circulate the chakra of. two guys and a dog.#i love the focus being placed on him rn bc hes so rarely focused on. but also. it *is* kind of funny#i think it's akamaru. the dog. plus the bugs. hes literally just putting bugs on them so they'll move the chakra around#and doing it in the most Raising The Dead pose possible hflshfks god it's so funny#anyways genuinely why is kabuto going to such lengths to kill these four (plus a dog)#like hes got this whole plot hes committed 4 of his pawns to this. just sucking their souls outta their body bc Huh??#like ok shikamaru is a master tactician. i get him. and neji is a powerful jonin.#and choji is very strong Especially in conjunction with ino and shikamaru#that good old ino-shika-cho combo. you know.#then theres kiba and like kiba's strong but like. not all that special in the army??? like sorry kiba not to be mean#but like hes just a chunin. no special combos or insane intellect to set him apart.#he's a front liner. a good one! but ykno. not all that special in the army. sorry kiba.#the true answer for why these 4 (5 with the dog lol) were brought togegher for this#was for reminiscing about their failed sasuke retrieval arc. by the narrative.#but Also they have those same sound ninja 4 theyre up against. maybe those guys wanted to nab them bc of the grudge#and kabuto was just like 'sure yeah it wouldnt hurt to kill the nara and the hyuga'#actually im just now remembering his ninja info cards. freakish data collection on fucking everyone#and now here he is having grave robbed all over the goddamn place and prepped all the bodies with their weapons and what have you#taking the time to send these reanimated bodies towards their prior loved ones to take advantage of the personal turmoil#bro it's a fucking battlefield what??? how are you sending everyone to such specific people like that.#and then anko's just passed out behind him. she hasnt even been to the village since the pain attack. she is getting shelved SO bad#anyways kabuto's a little freak and i continue to hate him. grave robbing shithead.
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yesterday i spent 45 minutes of my life watching a video essay criticising the use of cheap shock values and crossing of taboos for a video game and i went from "he has a point even if he's explaining it in a really inflammatory way" to "oh umm... i can see how he thinks that way even if i don't agree" to "oh this guy's just straight up using people on tumblr as material for an audience to get mad at like other outdated people on the internet. nvm he's just an asshole"
#yuu rambles#it was about the coffin of andey and leyley btw - i agreed w him on the first half of the video about how it felt rather noncommittal to it#concepts and themes but i recognise its not really *trying* to be serious which means its not a reasonable#framework to judge the intention and execution of its work - an apple pie does use butter in it but just bc it does#doesnt mean you get to compare it to steak; a dish that also uses butter. this is intuitively easy to understand for me#but nonetheless it was like 3 am i had stuff to do so i just put it on my background to listen#he makes a diss at “people on tumblr” early on that i just raised my eyebrow at but shrugged it off bc its such an old joke#its lost its zinger; and im p sure its just confirmation bias from going into the tags of the thing you dont like lol if you use tumblr#normally you wouldn't come across things you dont like bc you'd have blocked them. But Anyways#then at the end he got sooo self righteous about how people on tumblr are insane and weird and showed screencaps about how twisted everyone#who likes the game are. there were some screenshots of people's post that were like “incest is bad and shouldn't be explored in media.#paragraph break‚ me who is an incest survivor and finds it helpful for working through my trauma: lol”#those types of post. but then lmfao he started going out of pocket and just mentioned the lists of other people he doesnt like which are#a screenie of a video essay about how kink is important at pride#and then some other stuff i dont remember anymore w the tumblr screenies#it was very mockingly written and said and at the end of it i felt sad i couldnt#block people on youtube lmao. like its not i dont want this guy to comment on my videos. i dont want to see his channel involuntarily#recommended to me ever again. just resorted to the most base sort of trolling behaviour he accused and judge other game devs for in his#video essay. good fucking god. the psychological projection is unreal#i dont have any strong feelings towards the game at the end of it even though i thought i would be like Eugh at first#but my bleh for any cheap gimmicks is overshadowed by my disdain for this guy's reliance on self righteous rhetoric#i discovered another new channel i really like tho after that vid!! bc i had to watch smth else to cleanse my palate lmao#they're jacob geller and freddydude! ive only seen one vid from freddydude about his essay on#detention‚ the horror game set in taiwan during the era of white terror under new cn leadership after ww2#im personally quite jumpy so his humour and the way he edits his videos to make it silly even though its Scary#made me like it a lot!! im going through jacob geller's other vids but ive watched three specific types of terror#and the one about pinocchio which made me go :00 wow his scripts are super good!#again everything at your own discretion esp w the whole james somerton shit‚ but i enjoyed what I've seen so far#i just wanted to end this in a somewhat positive note JSHDKSJDJD the ramblings Continue...#theres a pedantic error in one of ky tags but im gonna update it when im on comp bc mobile sucks smh my head
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Guess who feels guilty for not editing in a long while now that I've mentioned it in another post? 😶
Guess who's editing right now? 😅
#*raises hand* is it-myself-perhaps?#*ding ding ding*#call yourself out (semi) publicly and gain motivation!#who knew? 😅😂#look though. in two chapters i have a real problem approaching#called the sex scene chapter#that i need to decide how i'm handling#i kinda want to tone it down#i half want to have them wait longer but that would also mean they might never have sex at all 😬#but changing that scene too much would have a ripple effect im not sure i want to deal with in the story#but also writing and editing that thing caused and continues to cause me so much discomfort which i now know why that is...#so maybe. it won't be so bad? now that i know?#*bangs head against wall* ugggh#why this writing so hard#this is what i get for reading so much spicy fantasy romance and trying it out myself XD#talking to myself in the tags pls feel free to ignore lol#starlit thoughts
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Me: "I don't like people, I prefer being on my own and not talking"
People: "oh okay we'll leave you be then"
Me: "wait no PLEASE COME BACK I WANT LOVE-"
#its not that i dont like people. its just that i have resorted to avoiding people out of habit and a sense that i make things worse#like its not that i DON'T want to message my friend. its just that I cant bring myself to since i usually dont#ha ha ha. god i am desperate to just speak to people but I want to be left alone and im scared of people turning out to be mean#i kinda feel like crying when i see people say how they love their friends and cuddle up with them and have fun#lol one of my old best friends caused me to have awful anxiety about myself because he judged and made fun of ke constantly#oh yeah and that other time after i broke up with a friend because we stupidly decided to try and date and it didnt go well#the bastard asked the person out that night. they said no because they aren't an ass or dumb. god i should have left him when he said that#oh yeah he also made fun of my sunny cosplay i did and then left me alone in the comic con crowd for half an hour#as someone with anxiety that fucked me up just a little#so yeah bad past friendships and terrible social skills have left me to just go lol cant get hurt if i dont have friends!#ha ha. this is agony.#i have like one actaul friend i talk to and she's going through some stuff and wants to be left alone#which is understandable but now I'm talking to absolutely no one#also even if i were to talk to people i just feel i make things worse#i feel like im obnoxious and weird constantly and I'm sobscsred that people are going to think I'm creepy#its not that im doing anything super weird its just that with my autism I can get overly excited and start rambling and not thinking#yet another reason why I've chosen to stop speaking as much#im also just really snappy sometimes#I remember a while ago someone i was kinda friends with asked me if i was okay and i said i was fine#they kept pushing because they were concerned and no ones ever really done that so i kind of panicked and raised my voice at them#i wasn't angry i just never had someone try and actually pry that deep before other than maybe my parents#they seem like a lovely person but i still feel so horrible for doing that to them#sure i apologises later and they understood but i felt like it was one of the most awful things ive done to someone#i hate even the thought of being cruel or mean and all they were trying to do was help and i snapped at them for it#sorry for being ranty but I'm starting to think im really not okay#I've pondered the idea of possibly having deppression but thats a conversation for my counselor#again sorry for sumoing and ill probably delete this soon#if anyone has read all of this im honestly impressed#personal rambles#vent tag
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people are really so weird and so fatphobic huh
(and oops most of my commentary is in the tags XD)
#people really out here acting like some chocolate is gonna kill you#idk maybe you should check how stats and data actually work and not just blindly trust things that get it wrong and such#because hate to break it to ya but increased risk does not equal absolute risk#it just increases the risk which is normally only by a small margin and doesnt mean anything in reality because it doesn't mean that it's#absolutely 100% going to happen that's not what risk or increased risk means#anyway this reminds of when a friend of mine took part in a study#and they were like oh yeah you have a 6% chance of a heart attack in the next 10 years#they asked if they lost weight would that decrease by a lot and the person was like uhh by like 1% it's really not the big deal everyone#makes it out to be people are just fatphobic because that's the society we've built that at all times you must be skinny#or you aren't worth anything or worse when people act like you're such a strain on the system#and that you dont deserve to have healthcare like i will scream#everyone needs to stop being so damn weird about it!!!!!!!!!!#it's literally fine it's so literally fine#you know actually thinking about increased risk with alcohol and smoking - to which is totally your choice and up to you btw#i knew someone who smoked like a chimney and drank like a fish and lived to his 70s and died of something completely unrelated#increased risk is just that increased by a certain percentage which is like not a lot in the grand scheme of things to really put it into#perspective when you have like 1 in 100 chance and the increased risk is 100% that just raises it to 2 in 100 which yes is just 1% to 2%#i will scream when people act like food is going to kill you - especially when it gets so bad people act like fruit is bad for you because#of sugar like i will cry i will start sobbing because all of this is why im pretty sure most people have disordered eating#if not full on eating disorders and that's the real concern how our attitudes make people change their behaviours and develop mental health#conditions because society is just so insistent on this one issue that you can't escape it's bad it's so bad and i hope one day#we get past all this and people can just live how they want without others getting on their backs#fatphobic people are the reason why so many people i know think they're worthless and ugly and i just that's so upsetting to me and yes yes#there's the major issues like doctors ignoring symptoms in favour of just lose weight! and then just send people into the world with 0 help#in that oh and oops now they've got an eating disorder when the problem in the first place was not weight <.<#and even if it was (which it rarely ever is) it's like okay where's the help then because there is no help and then study after study is#like oh btw dieting doesnt work lol and then what do you do what do you do im gonna start screaming hdfghsdfg#anyway sorry these tags are long im just so tired and so frustrated at the world and i hope one day people get over themselves
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a short list of how the rose are trying to nuke their idol image from orbit:
banana boys
the tour bus question (2 beds, 4 grown ass men)
smoking (sammy)
vaping and talking about wanting unlimited vape fluid (hajoon)
living off of sour candies (looking at you sammy =_=)
one of them wearing a fucking ring on his ring finger during backstage meet and greets (seen by 3 fans now, will not mention which member)
uploading a vid of dojoon yelling at a roadie (but like... guys sound has to work)
every single time ws flips everyone off
#im currently giffing the two banana boy incidents lol#personal#(i said i'd take a week break from giffing but nahhhhh even though my brain is literally melted rn lmao)#i still have to write for work tho ;_; (both the...'yes i do agree with the raise discussed in review' and the documentation#of my excel function sheet and the associated adobe automation process that goes with)#but my art vp and brand manager both praised me on my presentation (GOD i hope the raise my boss put me in for gets fully approved#(cause i got praised by ppl like.... 2-3 positions above him today lol)#it would literally mean over 3 years i'd have doubled my income LOL.... i got hired as an artist#but somehow (being insane) got pushed into this sorta hybrid role where i talk to factories a bunch#and go on the factory tours (while looking like...12 which i hate) and have to do the sales art presentations#and do automation of some of the art workload... but i am getting MONEY out of it lol.... gotta push for that lean-fi;re)
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you mentioned liking fred SR and he def is very interesting i reallywish he had been freds real father butohwell.. plus him/the sherrif are the true gay represtation..
anyway it reminds me of how everyone in the velma show is well mean/minus norville/ yet i love FRED the guy who was suppose to be someone to root against and i found myself drawn towards Fred.. its inteessting how the characters made to be unlikable on purpose turn out to be more fun to watch in the long run.
yeah, i haven't seen velma so idk if this applies to hbo fred, but i feel like it's bc characters who are written to be bad on purpose are typically held accountable for their actions in some way, or at least condemned for them, and so you know the writers aren't trying to present those things as being okay. we can all just be like "haha, what a tool". whereas on the flipside, when characters you're supposed to like and root for do terrible things, and then don't face consequences, or admit they were wrong, or get called out by another character, ANYTHING, it's just uncomfortable lol
#and i love fred jones sr and sheriff kronk's messy gay relationship skjdkdb#like when mayor jones just fuckin fires him bc that other guy showed up and started doing his job for free sihdjdhdk COLD BLOODED#i was like DIVORCE!!! OMG#he's SUCH a politician lmao... he'll dump his bf to save his bottom dollar... 😂#and when he reinstated him sheriff is like 'so im getting a raise right?' and he's like 'fuck no are you kidding?'#like damn those dates at the tiki bar meant nothing to you huh lmao#and dancing in the streets under aphrodites spell???#also i kinda like that he's not freds real dad and just. stole him skhdkd#esp bc he does actually love him on some level. like damn that's kind of cute. he has a heart. a little one. but still lol#like ha ha you~ care~ about the child you stole~#in my scooby doo au he's his step dad which i think is a good in-between#and it means i can keep freds dad from be cool who i love#a scoobydoozies original#sdmi critical
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schedule send for emails, my sweet darling child 😭💖
#so the manager thing has become official today because i got a pay raise for it!#but being full time here means i am. Wholly Unavailable for substituting at the schools.. if i am not at work there is nobody to run the#store (which ... 😮💨) SO i finally mustered up the courage to email the substitute team about the whole thing bc they asked me to update#them as we got closer to my manager's due date + it is now That Time#so 🕴️im so scared lol.. they were willing to block me out for august + just asked for an update if i needed to be blocked out for oct and#november so im sure it will all be fine but 😖😖 i didn't have september excluded and. i will not be substituting this month as u can tell#🥴#i think it will be okay but our employment terms explicitly state we are supposed to sub 4 days a month 🕴️ just nervous I'll get in trouble#for Not Doing That this month 🕴️ but I'm more than willing to make the time up later in the year when things calm down at work so!!!#fingers crossed everything works out.. anyways i scheduled the email for 8am tomorrow bc I'd feel unprofessional emailing them abt this at#This Late Hour ykwim 😶 pray for me comrades! 🙏🏼🥣🌋#sriracha.txt
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"hey HEY what do you have in your mouth!!! sit SIT. SPIT IT OUT GIVE IT—" but instead of talking to a dog it's me about my parents using the word overstimulated as nothing but another way to make fun of our anxious traumatized dog for doing things they find inconvenient or unreasonable or illogical (and, by extension, everyone who uses the term for legitimate reasons). (WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM!!!!!!!!!! AND ALSO WHERE THE FUCK DID THEY HEAR IT BECAUSE I DON'T USE IT AROUND THEM On Purpose BECAUSE I KNOW THEY'D BE ANNOYING ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
#cannot stress enough that they are ill informed. they do not know what they're talking about and would not accept it if i told them#they're not accomodating to sensory needs and do not fucking know the context of capital o Overstimulation in regards to like. ppl with#sensory difficulties. like. c'mon man. if i told you i was overstimulated you'd tell me it wasn't that bad and i should just sit still and#shut up. but suddenly it's fine when you're making jokes about??? completely unrelated things??? i mean. dogs can probably be#overstimulated. i think everyone can in kind of a general sense. but they act like her getting up from the couch or smth is some frantic#strange action. they're super fucking weird about her actually they'll like. tease(?) her about how needy and pathetic and unloved she is#and how 'traumatized' she is and how that makes her act in ways that bother them in kind of an eye roll-y way which like.#SHE *IS* TRAUMATIZED. WE'VE ESTABLISHED THAT SHE HAS REASON TO ACT LIKE THIS#like 'haha she's soooo afraid we'll abandon her she's so ridiculous' what like how she was ditched as a puppy and lived on the streets for#like a year? you don't think that could've affected her at all#fucking psych major bullshit ass. 'formative experiences actually don't affect you lol' go fuck yourself#im not saying you can't tease your pets but they're treating her like her anxiety and even basic affection seeking is some huge burden#when it's absolutely not. they just want to be mean to her because they don't want her to act that way and don't care about how she feels#because they think they know better and she has no immediate reason to feel that way. god i wonder if THAT has any relevance to how they#raised their children. christ on a cracker man what the fuck#how to create an environment where your children feel safe expressing their problems (a goal they supposedly have):#1) not whatever this shit is. what the fuck is wrong with you#look maybe it doesn't sound that bad but it's been going on for years and it's been pissing me off for years. they're so cruel and for what#it's such a double standard. our other (male) dog seeks affection about as often and they don't ever make fun of him for it#and they've gotten more and more entitled about her showing affection. like it's commanded now. it's gross to me okay i don't like it#she's a sweet and kind and loving girl and i don't get why they feel the need to act like her wanting their love is so horrible when they#literally want that from her and scold her when she doesn't do it#this general attitude that ppl are over exaggerating their trauma or their feelings or their needs/wants/boundaries is so pervasive w them#that complete disregard for/invalidation of how others feel if you can't personally relate to or understand it. the mockery and cruelty#they wouldn't do it if she could understand them. i think they just like having that power over smth small that loves them#so *i* have to be like 'ohhh i love u ur so good!! im so happy ur here' to her to balance it and then thats also seen as ridiculous. wtf#skrunks' parents be considerate and introspective to ppl without risk of rejection if unkind & also don't be ableist challenge (impossible)#they will call low/no empathy ppl frightening monsters and then do this shit. empathy is not necessary for kindness and frankly if that's#your only reason to care about the wellbeing of others i think that's worse. bitch IM low empathy. at least i give a shit#im so glad my mom didnt puruse psychology after her bachelor's she woulda hurt so many people. or maybe she'd be better idk. fucks sake
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me out here like so i know ive written a lot of deltarune fic and my big project now is the owl house daemon au but what if i write MORE deltarune fic instead <3
fkgndfjg recently ive been thinking about an au where kris left with dess and thus its noelle and susie who fall into the dark worlds (similar to the ending of my fic either (first, last) where dess is human except idk if id keep that part of things) and im like. n. no. you cant do that. youd end up Writing Deltarune. do you know how long that would take. so fucking long.
but im like. but noelle in kris’s role....how the prophecy is still ‘a human, a monster, and a prince from the dark’ except the human died? vanished? before it could ever be fulfilled. how if i make it so kris and dess are still alive that means they could come BACK and we get to see a kris raised by dess. how this means asriel wouldve never left for college (since the dreemurrs think kris and dess are dead and if kris Died because of dess azzy 100% blames himself and isnt about to leave his mom and dad) and i get to explore his relationship with noelle as the two left behind. how ralsei is still kris’s headband here but there is no kris, so where does that leave ralsei?
BASICALLY SOMEONE STOP ME I KEEP GETTING MORE IDEAS. i havent even posted the bad end au yet and im like ok but what if MORE.
#chatter#deltarune#drkau#as you can see my brain is like. 80% deltarune at any given time#sorry this au is just its been in the back of my mind since i wrote either first last lol#bc there is something so interesting about it!#like a kris raised by dess would be SO FUN theyd be fucked up in so many new cool ways#like for example: not coyotekin! they might actually end up with less issues in the human/monster regard#and just identify as a monster!#(bc for all she does dess is 100% supportive of kris being a monster and sees them as such)#dess and chara might end up together (since dess still wouldve gone to xir)#which means we could get frisk and kris as stepsiblings!!#noelle and azzy would become super close! asriel wouldnt leave hometown!#toriel and asgore might not get divorced (dw it would still be an unhappy marriage lol) or if they do it would be later!#the prophecy would just be like. ralsei would have to content w it not being the end all be all way early!#since theres no human just two monsters!#the ralsei susie noelle friendship dynamics....#noelle being party leader....#fuck it guys i think im convincing myself to write this#if you read all of this tags Hi send me asks about this so i can hopefully get it out there#instead of adding yet another fic to the backburner#tho backburnering this one could work#since id want to write it as like. All Of Deltarune#so more deltarune being out helps lol#god. fuck. guys this one might exist one day.
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. i really do not appreciate how stressful school is sometimes ngl
#lol rant time!#probably gonna delete this later#just stupid grade crap lmao read at ur peril?#things i am mad at: myself#as per usual#but also my english teacher. for inputting a 93% as an A- like bro about to drop my gpa??? took him THREE MONTHS to grade my essay#and the semester is ABOUT TO END and he goes and gives me a 50/60 which tanks my 103% (love extra credit) to a 91%#and if all the other assignments he hasn't graded yet get 100s then i have a 93 point something#WHICH IS AN A-#but apparently fanfiction is our final? so i mean maybe i can get away with that. but then again he prob wants us to put freud concepts in#this man is a freud fangirl??#istg#he gives extra credit a lot though bc quantity over quality#he's kinda weird#anyway i know an A- isn't the end of the world but i have tiger parents amen#also i can't deal w english rn i have to work on raising my chem grade it's like .20 away from being an A but i might have#just bombed yet another test#which could tank me depending on how bad i did#and if i have anything lower than a 91% after the test goes in it won't raise#back to english though im kinda pissed bc he left a comment praising my writing for like 2 paragraphs before going back in and saying BUT#welp anyway if i don't have a 4.0 gpa after this semester my parental units will be forcibly making me quit all my extracurriculars so 🥰#i don't understand this man tbh sometimes he tells me what im doing is good and then the next day he changes his mind#chem is better bc im actually just bad at it#english is like idk if i can satisfy the schrodinger's grading scale#time to go 1k over the word minimum on every assignment for that extra credit tbh#tbh i was not prepared for high school whatsoever. people think im smart but im just good at bs and memorizing crap#whatever
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Staying out of tales of arise Anything bc I think I do want to experience this game organically bc those plot twists hit me like a fucking TRUCK.
I did look up an estimate for how long the game is tho. I'm at like 30 ish hours and if you focus on plot alone it's like some 40 hours. But I have been doing side quests lol so it probably isn't even 10 hours remaining.
A Little scared of how things will be after this point tho. The Vibes will definitely have changed. And oh God I just want to hold Alphen so tightly. He doesn't deserve this.
#speculation nation#tfw ur amnesia was a blessing but now you remember and suddenly you have to deal with Extreme Trauma#and he was already traumatized!!!! he was already traumatized and now hes even more traumatized!!!!!!#but let's be real this group is made entirely up of very traumatized people lol. such is the way of this world.#this game is so fucking brutal tho. like im used to tales games hitting much harder than you expect#but they went out of their WAY to make this one really fuck you up#im absolutely in love with this game. but WOW it is not for the faint of heart lmfao#which sure is something to say about a very anime looking game where you can go to the Owl World and the Owl King will give you outfits#and you can wear ridiculous accessories even during serious cutscenes (a tales game Classic)#and also you own a ranch.#i still cant wrap my head around that one hfkshfj like what do you MEAN i own a ranch?!?! and then i just Kill the animals?!?!?#like ya food meats but i thought raising chickens would give me eggs. me cooing at my grown chickens then going into the menu#and it's like 'your chickens have reached maturity! items received: Chicken Meat" and i was just like. 'O-oh.'#and then the chickens were GOOOONE but at least the cats and dogs stay around without me EATING them#i. prefer to not visit my ranch. i dont want to be reminded that all these animals are gonna die.#hfkshfjd and YEA ALL THIS alongside some stunning displays of moral ambiguity#& the utter horror and injustice of 300 years of subjugation#perfectly captured right down to the erasure of culture. these people having to look to ruins to get in touch with their culture#bc it was Taken from them.#just. it's a ridiculously over the top anime game just like any tales game but wow. wowowowwow#and im saying this after playing tales of xillia 2. aka still the only game that made me cry Twice.#arise is truly an astounding game. it's very definitely in the running for my favorite tales game.#we'll see how the ending goes lol but given everything ive seen so far. it is Likely to be just as stunning hdkshfj#raving about this game when i should be going to sleep. man . man. ..
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