#which means he has tools that not everyone does and I love what he does with that and how he expresses himself
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falafels · 1 day ago
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i love ur seth u love how developed of a character he is i love how he’s funny and part of the team but also a dick and everyone dunks on him. truly how he should have been in a perfect aftg
thanks man! honestly i don’t think he ever could have been like that in canon/perfect aftg because the core of it is they all suck so bad and get in their own way. like he did want so badly for it to be better and wymack’s ideas to work but he wouldn’t be the one to commit to it if there was any chance it would fail, which is why i think it kind of works in this au? like the riko murder attempt puts him in a coma, he wakes up and suddenly it’s worked and the team is succeeding and people are getting better and it’s what he wanted but what he wanted to be part of and now he’s on the outside. he has to reintegrate to a team he barely recognises and is basically as outside as the new freshmen (who i WILL get to at some point they live in my head forever. probably not in the socmed au but there will be a long old lore post), and i think this isolation is kind of what draws him to aaron. aaron, who dislikes everyone so much that it sort of reaches a level of no-judgement (in that he’s so judgemental it kind of doesn’t matter anymore), as well as the fact that aaron seems to be drawing away from the team as well now that he’s allowed to. he’s not totally gone, but with any first freedom he vanishes for a bit and then chooses to come back as he pleases. seth thinks he’s a good place to start, as he’s part of the team but interacts with it on his own terms now. aaron also has some similar lore to seth, with addiction and strained familial relationships and not-so-progressive takes. seth eventually finds his stride by leaning into being the Elder Fox after a joke from one of the freshman- he’s not actually the oldest (renee and nicky both older), but he’s been a fox the longest and decides he’s some kind of pillar of wisdom and starts imparting this wisdom on occasion unprompted, like at practice there’s a quiet moment after dan explains a play and seth just goes “you can reheat pizza with a car battery but it will taste worse. and not with a honda because it catches fire and the owner chases you.” and kevin is endlessly annoyed by it because seth will just stop exy conversations to dispense today’s sage nugget of wisdom but the others find it vaguely entertaining if deeply confusing, and slowly seth becomes kind of weird in an amusing and more safe way than just a scowling jackass. don’t get me wrong, he’s still very much a scowling jackass, but he’s also someone who they know doesn’t actually mean them any harm. he’s kind of like the team’s version of your middle school best friend’s older brother who sits on lawn chairs wearing a bucket hat and no shirt and tells you the government is trying to steal your thoughts or your piss or some incredibly niche but elaborate conspiracy that he wholeheartedly believes and you’re like wow this guy cannot be real how does he get through a day but then the sink breaks and he fixes it with like 1 tool and some tape and it works perfectly and you start to think damn maybe he’s right about the aliens. anyway sorry i totally derailed this i love to talk about seth sorry ily thank u for this ♥️ ♥️ ♥️
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citronverveine · 10 months ago
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when you think about it, tgcf really wouldn’t have the same impact if xie lian didn’t cultivate through abstinence.
it’s funny because it’s not even relevant to the core of the plot itself; xie lian never uses his cultivation as a reason to stay away from hua cheng. he only reminds the reader of it when he drinks wine, which is pretty irrelevant anyway. but if it doesn’t impact his relationship with hua cheng then it must serve another purpose, otherwise it wouldn’t be here, because things in fiction don’t exist just for the sake of existing.
xie lian abstaining from earthly pleasures fits into the narrative of control, expectations, and divinity, the transcendance of his mortal body.
xie lian’s goal, very early on, is to become a god. and what are gods? above mortals. or that’s what everyone thinks, but not xie lian, not entirely at least. xie lian views godhood as a means to serve the people, not being above them. this is why he doesn’t think kneeling before gods is right, and why he doesn’t want his believers to kneel.
obviously, very few people agree with him and tell him how his godhood should be, even his own believers who think it’s stupid to not kneel before a god.
xie lian always saw godhood as a tool, and his body as a tool to reach godhood. xie lian is self-sacrificing in nature, and even if at first he doesn’t really know how much it takes, it reaches extremes once he is forced to self-sacrifice for a hundred people at once.
during that time, xie lian’s body and autonomy was taken from him. “this is what you want? then take it.” it makes it seem as though it was his choice. he wanted to help, so he got to help, he should be happy, right?
i often wondered why xie lian didn’t just say to hell with it and broke his cultivation through his eight hundred years of banishment. not once, as far as we know, does he willingly break it completely and irreversibly, even though he is shackled, even though he doesn’t even actively cultivate anymore.
i think it’s about control. during that time xie lian had very little control over his life.
godhood is about repressing your human traits. when he was a god, xie lian was asked not to care, not to intervene, not to help. he was asked to sit back and watch as his people suffered, as his kingdom threatened to fall. he couldn’t.
that’s why he couldn’t be a god. he realized that himself after almost releasing the resentful spirits on Yong’an. he ascended and asked to get bannished once again. all of what he did was too human, from start to finish, and he would never be fit for a god.
his cultivation was the third and last shackle, self-imposed from the start. the first shackle bound his spiritual power, the second his luck, and the third one his cultivation, asking him to repress his humanity.
this is why it’s important that xie lian makes the choice of breaking his cultivation for hua cheng. it’s an obvious choice when you understand all of this. hua cheng gave xie lian his autonomy back by letting him be himself and making his own choices, and trusting him with them. never did he doubt xie lian, never did he tell him what to do, even when he had his own opinion on the matter. hua cheng lets xie lian be. while supporting him through it all. he’s always behind him, no matter what happens, no matter whether xie lian does good or bad, he’ll always be there to catch him regardless of what he does, because he is there for who he is. he’s xie lian. he’s human. it doesn’t matter that he’s a god, a prince, a scrap collector, a curse.
and because xie lian has finally found someone who accepts him as a whole, can he finally let himself be whole and let go of the control he has on his body. he doesn’t have to hold back. he doesn’t have to try. he can indulge. he can be human. he can want. he can love. he can hurt. he can cry. he can laugh.
tl;dr: xie lian, once aware he has someone that will accept him, the whole of him, can finally let go of any artificial control on his self to fit in what the world expects of him
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raikirikiri · 2 months ago
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anbu tattoos remain one of my favorite things in naruto purely because they’re like a sign of ownership. anbu ninja are tools moreso than than the normal shinobi of their village. so much so that the village marks them with a signature that everyone recognizes. and even when that anbu—that tool—is allowed to rest, manages to leave anbu ranks, or dies, they remain branded by the village that owns them. they don’t truly escape, they can always be called on again because a tool does not have feelings, it does not have choices, it’s only made to be utilized by those who know how to wield it.
anyway. anbu is so fucked up and minato…i love minato but the illusion that he’s a pure little guy who’s a wife guy and a little shy nerd is crazy. he saw kakashi, someone he’s seen grow up, someone he’s guided and taught, some he’s supposed to care for. and he thought, ah yes, i need to keep you close to me. how best to do it? perfect! you are now forever marked as an asset to me and the village! and he does it with what he assumes to be love in his heart.
and i’m not saying this is a good or a bad thing, the morality of minato’s choices within the context of the story is nothing entirely out of the ordinary, but the way in which he’s portrayed, how we see him and his demeanor… it’s all very much a sweet facade to mask what’s hidden underneath. he’s twisted and calculated and ugh, i love him. because he genuinely thinks he’s doing the best thing he can by kakashi and also by the village. kakashi is talented. he has a sharingan and he’s vulnerable. of course minato wants to help but he also sees an opportunity and he strikes. now they have kakashi of the sharingan in their highest ranks, and he won’t ever be able to escape the duty instilled in him. not unless he becomes a nukenin but everyone knows by that point that kakashi is so indoctrinated, the thought of leaving never crosses his mind.
and then minato dies. and kakashi is still a tool. his feelings should not affect his use. but they do. and for the first time…
kakashi of the sharingan, anbu hound, thinks maybe… leaving the village might be a good idea. if not to get away from everything. he can’t be a good tool if he’s rusty and broken. he can fix himself, he can he can. he doesn’t want to keep breaking over and over again. it hurts it hurts it hurts and the village never puts him back together the right way and for once he just wants to feel whole.
so when kakashi disappears, it’s quiet. it’s full of guilt. ashy tongue, scratchy throat, tears in his eye, and aches in his joints. but he leaves because he needs to be whole to be useful again. but it hurts. it’s not right. he’s not supposed to feel this way. he’s a tool he’s a tool he’s a tool. a weapon. an extension of the village’s wide reach. he almost can’t bear it. he throws up bile all night, on the verge of returning and getting on his knees and begging for forgiveness. he didn’t mean it, he’s sorry he just wants to be better. to feel better.
he doesn’t return that night if only because he can’t make himself get up. his body weak and feverish. he’ll go back the next day.
but he doesnt. he feels better the morning after. only a little bit but it’s enough. maybe he can take care of himself. he can mend his wounds, tighten the loose screws, clean off the rust and dirt. he can do it.
and for every day he stays away, he feels better. more whole. he’s still a shinobi. he does odd jobs when he can but mostly, he takes to helping out villages in need. he likes to help out on different farms, it feels right to him, like something in his muscle memory. he’ll also help with construction if needed, anything that uses his hands in a thoughtful, meaningful manner is good. it makes him feel good.
he likes being a shinobi, he thinks. it doesn’t feel quite right when he says that anymore. but he loves the way it feels when he builds something instead of destroying it. when he uses chakra to make the kids in all the villages he visits eyes light up with joy and wonder. he loves using katon for fires that create. he loves it he loves it he loves it.
it takes time to learn what he’s feeling, and the ever remaining guilt and shame linger in his chest when he remembers that’s he’s supposed to just be a tool and he has to return back to his wielder at some point. but for a long time, years even, kakashi lets himself be something else. something that feels close to human and he thinks he can put off going home a little longer.
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appleblueberry-pie · 11 months ago
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I just read through all your 42 Miles posts and I am going to explode. I swear, I’m so obsessed he looks shy in comparison. On that note, what if the reader finds out about his yandere behavior…and is perfectly fine with it. Maybe they even encourage it, giggling like a schoolgirl when they catch him following them home and giving him extra kisses when he tells them how he killed the guy who flirted with them. Definitely not just describing myself here-
I LIKE IT. JUST A LITTLE BIT<3
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Miles gets greedy when it comes to you. He shouldn't, but he just hates sharing. So, using the tools he has, he gets rid of all possible competition. It's dangerous, it's reckless, and it's not smart to do, but you make him do stupid, dangerous and reckless things. Can you blame him? You're everything he's ever asked for in a girl.
So sweet to him, giving him all of your attention whenever you can. Texting him often, reciprocating his energy and letting him give the love and energy he feels you deserve. And you deserve every drop of his energy.
But sometimes, he takes it too far. He's been mean-mugging everyone lately. His friends don't like him as much because they say he's been paranoid over 'some random bitch he be talkin to'. And he doesn't let things like talking behind his back, or yours, be taken lightly. Which is why they don't talk to him the next day, or the day after that.
And it's also why people don't talk to you anymore either. Or any of your male friends. Or your girl friends.....he drove them all away. Every time someone sees you, he's not too far behind. And you don't do a damn thing about it. Which causes rumors to spread, but they die as quickly as they fire up. Because he always finds the source before shit goes south. Still, you don't do a damn thing about it.
You don't necessarily encourage him to do it, but he always gets the same amount of love from you whether he gives hell to everyone else or not. So, he keeps doing it. If he wants all of you, he's going to have all of you.
If someone asks about you in a crooked tone, he gets iffy about it, and now they scared. If someone mentions your name, their feeling that sharp stare on the back of their neck, telling them to let their tongue slip one more time. Everyone's getting the hint and he'll make sure of it.
You always smile looking back at him when he follows you in the hallways or when he's following you home.
You let him give you overly-obsessive notes in your locker. You let him like all of your stories, all of your posts. You let him stalk every single one of your socials and even the ones no one is supposed to know abut. You let him blow up your phone.
When he finally has the courage to talk to your face, you two have been by each other's side like glue. You let him whisper in your ear when he doesn't want a damn soul to hear what you guys are talking about. You let him buy you lunch every day. He always holds your hand tight as shit when walking you to class. He can be a little late. He does almost everything for you. He's real good at helping you with homework(and getting rid of niggas that bother you), and it makes your stress load so much lighter.
He's such good boyfriend material.
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thethronezone · 4 months ago
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Hello!
I enjoy your Primarchs and their children so much. However, an idea pops up and I wonder what do you think of them with pet? What kind of pet each will have and how they raise them?
Thanks!
Mortarion gets his kid a turtle. Quiet, relatively small, won't run away. They live long, which means Mortarion won't have to worry about his kid breaking out in tears because their pet died from old age any time this century. Actually does quite intensive research on different turtle species to make sure his kid gets a good pet. Gets them a tank for it and everything. (I don't know how but that turtle will somehow survive the Heresy).
Fulgrim spends a long time thinking about the perfect pet for his child before eventually he decides to settle for a classic; a cat. A very rare, ridiculously expensive breed. It's a good thing he gave it to his kid because had that cat belonged to Fulgrim then he would have treated it like an accessory, I'm sorry but that's the truth. His kid don't give a shit about what breed it is, they name is something silly like Stinkus ("Because they stinky!") and Fulgrim has to live with that.
Have you seen that artwork with gladiator Angron sitting next to a dog? Yeah, I love the idea that Angron likes dogs so, with that in mind, I think he would give his kid a dog. A wardog, of course, bred for combat. Still just a pup though. Practically shoves the puppy in the kid's arms. "This is your responsibility now". He acts like this is only a lesson on responsibility but he just wants his kid to be happy, ok? Has to look away whenever he sees his kid play with the dog because if he doesn't then everyone will see the soft expression on his face.
Magnus gifts his kid a Gyrinx, a cat-like xeno animal that forms strong bonds with their owner and enhances their psyker powers. Like this, the pet is not just a trusted companion but also helps them focus their growing psychic abilities. Does urge his child to be kind and gentle with the animal, they may not be sentient but they are still a living being with feelings. Also advices his kid to read up on Gyrinx and learn more about the species, so they can better take care of them.
If his kid is going to have a pet, then Perturabo demands it to be something useful. That's why he ends up giving his kid a falcon. Or, well, the 30k equivalent of a falcon. It's a bird of prey that they will train to hunt and fetch things. Perturabo honestly sees it less as a pet and more of a tool. Probably names the bird for them because he does not trust that they will chose a proper name. The bird is named Aegis or Talon or something basic like that.
After some careful thinking, Alpharius and Omegon gives their kid some kind of... chinchilla? Squirrel? It's a xeno animal, small enough that a child can hold in their hands, covered in fine fur and it has ridiculously big ears. It also has razor sharp teeth and its saliva is poisonous. Their kid is fine though, they have the antidote in case they get bit. See it as practice! Be nice and get the animal to like you and you have a cute pet! Be crueal and neglectful and you'll get mauled by small teeth. A very valuable lesson.
Lorgar gives his child a bird, something similar to a dove. Small, only the size of a baseline's palm, and with soft coos that sound like bells. He thinks it's a good pet that will teach them to be gentle and careful with those smaller than them. Then, as his child grow older and more responsible, he gifts them more birds until eventually, they have a whole flock. What? His kid deserves all the birds in the world.
Of course Horus gets his kid a dog. Then another one. And one more. His reasoning? What kid does not like dogs? Kid ends up with 5 dogs that follows them EVERYWHERE. They sleep in the kid's bed, follow them to their lessons, eat by the table etc.. They are truly inseparable and the kid honestly spends more time with their dogs than they do with people. Horus then has the gall to act surprised when his kid tells him they like dogs more than humans. Like, geez Horus, how do you think this happened?
At first, Konrad didn't even consider giving his kid a pet but then he heard them say they felt lonely (they don't have any friends) and so he decided to get them an animal. So he gives them a rat. Just a random rat he found. It's small and easy to replace if something happens to it. Didn't really expect his kid to grow so attached to it. It can do tricks now? It responds to the name 'Haunter'? What?
Contrary to what some of you might think, Sanguinius does NOT get his kid a bird. No, Sanguinius gets them a cat. A real fluffy one that needs to be brushed daily. Unlike Fulgrim, he does not really care about what breed it is, as long as it is healthy and will live a long life. Instills in his kid the importance of being gentle with animals (and people) and to treat them with respect. Is he teaching his kid empathy using a cat? Yes, yes he is.
Ok, so look, Corvus decision to get his kid a pet happens spontaneously. He's away somewhere (mission, meeting, whatever) when suddenly he finds this tiny, jet-black kitten. When he gets close, it hisses and bats its paws at him and he just KNOWNS that his kid will love this thing. Awkwardly gives it to them, telling them to take good care of it. Secretly checks up on the cat, just to make sure his kid is taking care of it. Sneaks it treats and pets it when no one it watching.
Ferrus gets his kid an aquarium full of fish. But like, really, really weird fish, adapted to the extreme circumstances of other planets. I'm talking fish that make deep sea marine life look like guppies in comparison. There's also a couple of crustaceans in there. Mostly sees this as a way to teach is child how living beings adapt to different hardships and get stronger because of them.
Rogal thought long and hard about this. At first he thought the perfect pet would be an ant colony but then one of his brothers said that was a stupid idea so he scratched that idea. So he ends up giving them a bear cub instead. What? It can be tamed. And look, his kid already likes it. Though he still thinks his initial idea with the ant colony was the superior one.
Vulkan choses a lizard native to Nocturne. A dog-sized, sturdy thing, long living and quite pretty, with obsidian scales speckled with the occasional red. A very popular pet for children on Nocturne and he had several himself when he was young. Probably caught it himself and brought it back for his kid on their birthday. Take good care of it, child, these things lives up to a hundred-and-fifty!
Listen, Lion does not want to get his kid an animal. The only animals he know are the beasts that he fought in the forests of Caliban so he does not exactly like animals overall. But if he has to? If he really, REALLY has to get his child a pet? A bunny. Small, quiet and when they grow tired of it, then they can just cook and eat it. Perfect. Gets confused when he mentions eating the rabbit to his kid and they burst out crying. Like, he didn't say it was going to happen NOW. Lion, buddy, they are five years old and you just told them you were planning on eating their adorable little buddy, what did you THINK would happen?
Come on. We all know what animal Leman gives to his kid as a pet. That's right, a fenrisian wolf, still just a pup. Chose this one pup because it reminded him of his kid and he thought they would be the perfect match. Pretty much gives his kid free reign on how they train and nurture the pup though he does urge them to make it clear that they are the leader or else that wolf is gonna walk all over them once it grows up.
Jaghatai is a horse-guy, of course he gives his kid a horse. A young colt that recently lost its mother and needs someone to care for it. Perfect for his kid! When it gets older, they can ride it, and when they grow too large, they can run beside it, just like Jaghatai did when he was their age. Expects them to take good care of the horse but otherwise leaves them to it.
Roboute of course goes with the obvious choice, a dog. On his kid's birthday he hands them a puppy and tells them that this is a big responsibility and that they need to take care of and train this animal with the same dedication that he looks after the Ultramarines. He was being a bit overdramatic but when he sees his kid command the puppy to show off a new trick it learned with the same tone as a general commanding troops, he can't help but feel like he did a great thing.
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alchemistc · 10 months ago
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Oh, those prompts are so good! If you’re inspired, either 21. listening to someone’s heartbeat or 23. wearing someone’s clothes for Buck/Tommy? Thank you!
He's so fucking tired, is the thing. He's tired, and he's cranky, and this shift had taken ages to end, so when he sees the slash of bright bright blue bleeding out of his duffle and knows immediately what it is, something soft and achy blooms in his chest, and he ignores the subtle eyebrow from Lucy when he pulls it out.
The problem is she's seen Evan in this sweatshirt, less than a week ago when he'd dragged everyone out to trivia, when they'd all been well rested and happy to pepper Evan with stories about Tommy and the more sedate hijinks that Harbor station gets up to. Tommy ignores her look and shrugs it over his shoulders, dragging his head through the neck hole and not minding too much when the hood goes crooked, half stuck in his hair as he gets a wash of pleasant smells - Evan's aftershave, the detergent he uses, a hint of musk, Christ, he'd tucked it in to Tommy's bag unwashed like he knew exactly how much Tommy would want that.
Tommy does his level best not to look like he's huffing glue as he adjusts the hood around the back of his neck.
Donato bites her lip. Sighs, heavily. "Did you steal that, or are you guys in the part of the courting ritual where you do this exhausting shit on purpose just to point out how single the rest of us are?"
Tommy sends a half-hearted glare her way, gets another whiff of aftershave and tries his absolute hardest not to sigh like a lovelorn idiot. He's maybe half successful.
"You are choosing to be single. You have a great guy who'd absolutely love to lock you down, Donato." Tommy stuffs his hands into the front pocket and cocks a hip, and Donato frowns.
"He likes me too much. Don't trust it."
His huff of laughter cuts through the quiet of the locker room. "Hate to break it to you, Luce, but you kinda gotta open yourself up to the possibility of someone enjoying your company, if you want a glimpse at annoying, exhausting, stupid relationship shit."
"I'm trying to mock you, not get relationship advice from your domestically blissed ass."
It's not the first time someone has pointed out Tommy's supposed blissful status, but his body and his mind are so fucking tired and there are apparently, if Evan's last text is to be believed, a couple good cuts of steak seasoned and waiting for Tommy to fire up the grill at home. Which means there is also a man waiting for him there, too, a man with seemingly limitless energy and pockets of technically useless information, a man with silver-cast blue eyes and a birthmark over his brow that Tommy wants to bite every time he catches a glimpse of it out of the corner or his eye, a man he'd given his spare key months too soon just because he liked the idea of coming home to him, liked the idea of him creeping in while Tommy was passed out across his bed or shifting tools around in his garage or -
"Ugh. Gross. I'm leaving, now, tell Buck I said hi."
Tommy isn't actually sure he's going to do that, because he's just realized something that takes precedent, and no offense to Lucy, but she's already wormed her way into one of Evan's defining relationship moments and he's not giving her this one.
He waves her off and shoots Evan a text to let him know he's on his way.
Going home right away doesn't feel right, actually, now that he's thinking about it. He should get flowers, or - maybe learn a foreign language. How much Spanish have Christopher and Eddie taught Evan? Does Jee have some event he could crash?
(Tommy would like to point out that while he hasn't quite said it in words, he's not exactly upset about the way he and Evan are maybe a little batshit insane about each other. If Evan doesn't have any complaints, he's not going to put a damper on it, either.)
The drive home gives him enough time to talk himself down from hiring a skywriter, his cab awash in the scent of the armor-all Evan had spilled in it last week when he got distracted from 'helping' Tommy clean, the hints of scent from the hoodie that's maybe a little tight around the shoulders but still a perfect fit. For him. For Tommy.
Fuck. He should at least get the flowers.
Tommy makes himself keep driving. He's delirious with exhaustion, actually, that's why he keeps overthinking this, there's a steak dinner and a beautiful man waiting for him at home and Evan had probably gotten flowers at the market anyway. Because he does that, constantly, to the point that Tommy had run out of vases to keep them all in.
Tommy sits in the cab once he pulls in and tries hard not to romanticize the idea of Evan's Jeep looking right at home in the spot next to his.
Evan greets him at the door with a wide grin, a spoon in one hand, the other held under it to keep from spilling. "Taste," he says as a greeting, and Tommy opens his mouth more for the pleasure of seeing Evan's eyes light than any expectation for what's being put there.
Cucumber, vinegar, dill - he moans around the mouthful and barely chews before he swallows, suddenly intent to get his mouth on Evan's mouth. His duffle lands in the entryway with a thunk and he gets two hands into the hem of Evan's shirt, intent on tugging him in. "Hi," he says, and swallows whatever greeting Evan tries to return.
When they come up for air Tommy's pulse is racing, Evan is breathing heavily, and he's pretty sure there is a spoon tucked into his back pocket, left there when Evan slung his arm back to get a handful of Tommy's ass.
"Hi," he says, finally, eyes lingering on the neckline of the jacket he'd snuck into Tommy's bag.
The significance of the moment finally catches up to Tommy - the memory something Tommy sometimes falls back on when he gets too in his head about where this is going - stumbling through the emergency room doors with the leers of exhausted firefighters echoing in his ears, Evan a vision in blue (this blue) barely letting him get an apology out before trying to eat his face off in front of three amused nurses.
"Hey," Tommy says, feeling the day just slough off of him. His left hand has tucked itself neatly between Evan's impressive pectorals, and he contemplates, for a moment, just saying fuck it to the steaks and shoving him back until he can press Evan to his sheets, blanket himself atop him, press his cheek there instead of his hand and listen to the steady beat.
Evan blinks back at him, his eyes doing something unbearably sweet, and Tommy has to tell him, he really, absolutely does, only -
"I'm in love with you," Evan says, laughing a little breathlessly once the words are out, hands pressing in at Tommy's waist, a sort of wondrous expression leaking in around his smile lines.
Tommy should maybe feel like the wind has been ripped from his sails, but the fever-pitch beat of his heart won't let him.
"Y-you don't have to, like, say it back. I just. God I like you so much but I'm also - I love you," he repeats, or amends, or - there's something settled, in his expression, like just saying it was enough, like he doesn't expect Tommy to feel the same.
Tommy waits a beat. Slides the hand on his chest up over the rasp of his end-of-day stubble, thumbing the crook of his chin, fingers dancing over his cheekbone. "Evan," he says, sounding a little breathless, which should be embarrassing but Tommy doesn't care, and Evan's gaze catches and holds as he waits for whatever Tommy has to say next
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ckret2 · 8 months ago
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idk if you've ever answered this before (probably, the answer is always probably) but is Bill, like... capable of empathy? Of sympathy? Of love (any kind) or compassion? I guess what I'm asking is how does he relate to other people? Are they all just tools and idle amusements, or does he develop any actual genuine (positive??) attachment to them?
Everything I know about him comes from 8+ year old memories of a cartoon I haven't rewatched since, and discourse I see through your blog, so I'm not sure what the canon consensus is but your word is god enough to me on at least your specific interpretation of Bill.
(I guess it would be moot to ask why he's so fucked up. Feel free to ignore any and all of this ask, it's 12 AM and I'm trawling the web before bed)
for my specific interpretation of Bill? Have this post about empathy and a couple of posts about romantic love. (Okay—three about romance.)
But now let's forget about my interpretation and talk canon.
Empathy! You can roughly split empathy into two categories: "I can logically identify and understand what you're feeling" empathy, and "when you're sad i feel sad and when you're happy I feel happy" empathy.
We absolutely know that Bill has "I understand what you're feeling" empathy, because he uses it again and again to manipulate his victims. He has VERY good emotional intelligence. He understands his victims' insecurities, their desires, how to make them feel happy, angry, ashamed, trustful, mistrustful; he knows when and how to manipulate them based on their mood to maximum effect; etc. We see it in how he manipulates Dipper & Mabel in the show; we see it in how he turns Ford against Fiddleford in Journal 3; we see it in TBOB and on thisisnotawebsitedotcom in the way he talks about how and why he manipulated Ford.
We have no evidence he experiences "I feel what you feel" empathy. That doesn't necessarily mean he DOESN'T, but there's no evidence for it. Never see him get excited just because someone else is excited, never see him cringe sympathetically when someone else is hurt. You could say "maybe on top of being a manipulation tactic, when Bill relates to Ford's estrangement from his family by talking about his destroyed universe, he's also feeling empathy for his situation," but you could also just as easily say "nah it's just manipulation."
Common sense would say well, if he feels other people's pain, it would be harder for him to manipulate, betray, and hurt people so blithely. But we're not talking about common sense, we're talking about canon evidence! It's possible for empathetic people to hurt other people; they can just... learn not to care about that person's feelings. Which is particularly easy to do if the target is someone the person sees as "less important" or dehumanizes them. Bill sees everyone as less important than him. We can't rule either way on whether or not he's got a capacity for emotional empathy we just never see. All we can say for sure is he doesn't appear to turn it on for anyone we see.
Though we see him come close. Although he doesn't feel with any of the Pines, we can see him relate to Ford (during Weirdmageddon, throughout TBOB), to Stan (on TINAWDC), and to Mabel (in TBOB and the Dipper & Mabel's Guide book) via projecting his struggles and beliefs on to them. But in a way this is sort of, reverse empathy?; it doesn't let him feel how they feel, but it makes him assume they feel the way he does.
Sympathy! The definitions of empathy vs sympathy vs compassion are contested so I'm gonna present the definitions I'm using for this post: empathy is "i [feel/understand] what you feel" and sympathy is "i care about how you feel." There's a couple of moments in his interactions with Ford in TBOB that are blatantly manipulative (when he shows Ford what's left of his dimension; to a lesser extent, when he "helps" Ford celebrate his birthday) that might also secondarily be fleeting displays of sympathy. It's ambiguous.
Compassion! Compassion is "i'm moved to help because of how you feel." There's a moment in TBOB when he gets so irritated at Puritan misogyny that he teaches a bunch of Puritan wives how to be witches and has a girls' night burning men at the stake with them. He apparently gets no benefits from this himself, aside from funsies. Is he motivated by compassion for the ladies or ONLY by irritation at how boring the men are? Again, ambiguous.
In TBOB when discussing his exploits in the Nightmare Realm, he mentions freeing patients from insane asylums and criminals from prisons. He also repeatedly mentions disliking captivity. He might be motivated by compassion derived from empathy for prisoners. He doesn't present his motives.
Love! He calls the Henchmaniacs his "family," repeatedly brings up their worries about being erased from reality, and says he takes his party hosting duties to them very seriously. We don't know whether he actually cared about them, or merely called them a family in recognition of their consistent loyalty and obedience. He's pretty disrespectful/violent toward them but that isn't incompatible with being emotionally invested in them beyond their utility. We don't have confirmation he cares for them, or confirmation he doesn't.
Hidden in TBOB and absolutely riddled through TINAWDC are references to his parents caring about him and tender quotes. When he's so blind drunk he doesn't know where he is, he tries to call his mom and asks her to make him a sandwich after school. We know he resents how they pathologized a mutation he was born with; beyond that we can't confirm whether or not he loved them; but just beneath the surface, he's unceasingly haunted by how they loved him.
Romantic love! I wrote a post about the evidence for/against romantic attraction in TBOB. He's confirmed to have at least two ex girlfriends; in the book, he mentions missing them both. He mentions having "seduced" galaxies; we don't know whether these seductions were sexual, sexual+romantic, or metaphorical. He denies having in the exes in the same book where he discusses them, and claims that love is the pupa for hate.
You can choose to interpret this multiple ways. To me it reads most strongly as "he's been in love but sucks at maintaining a relationship because he's an asshole, and he's got sour grapes about it"; but you could read it as "he wants love but his relationships fall apart because he can't feel it and he doesn't examine why" or "the relationships were based on something other than romantic love" and not technically be wrong based on the evidence we have. What we know for sure: he's had multiple relationships; he misses them; he tries to deny they happened; he claims love's dumb.
Genuine attachment to his tools! Bill claims torturing Ford was normal Henchmaniac hazing and he wanted him to join the gang. (Dubious evidence of emotional attachment.) He goes on a raging bender when Ford refuses to join him and escapes before Bill can torture him into joining. (Stronger evidence of emotional attachment.) In Weirdmageddon, seconds after Ford tried to murder Bill, he asks Ford to join him and then turns him into a statue he carries around everywhere when Ford refuses—and this is BEFORE he discovers Ford might still have a practical use for him.
On TINAWDC, he has an exchange that boils down to "Ford was just a tool?" "You say that like it's a bad thing!" "So you never cared about him?" "I didn't say that." He goes on to refer to Ford as his pet and henchman. Demeaning—but, people do feel positively toward their pets.
(It may be worth noting he also calls Teeth the Henchmaniacs' pet. Maybe this is a consistent element to how Bill relates to sentient people.)
There's evidence in TBOB that he felt similarly about his first human henchman, the shaman—at minimum, he's very bitter when the shaman turns on him and he says he's gonna find a "new best friend."
Summary: There's evidence that Bill develops facets of positive attachments to the people around him; but we don't have any evidence that any of these attachments ever added up to a positive & healthy relationship. In all the relationships we see in depth, the toxic aspects outweighed the positive ones.
Summary of the summary: Bill has the capacity for healthy relationships but is too big a douchebag to utilize it.
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widebrimmedhatsblog · 3 months ago
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ONYX STORM SPOILERS (for your readers)
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If you feel like it, will you expand on how you think they are still involved romantically in the end of onyx storm? Like I get that they are married but that seems to more to secure Violet’s future without him. It doesn’t seem to be because he has any hopes of any kind of future for the two of them together. Romantically or otherwise. He doesn’t want her to look for him. Aren’t they as broken up as they can be at this point? I’d love to hear your thoughts (and love another/different perspective because these thoughts I’m currently having are honestly making me feel ill).
Also thank you for your contributions to the fandom!! Honestly I think fanfic is the only thing that’s gonna get me through this. Hope we get an upsurge of riorgail fluff from everyone 🙏🏼
I have never felt like doing anything more, anon!!! I get what you're saying, and I think that's the way Rebecca/Red Tower WANT us to see it, because they want us to be anxious about where it's going so that we buy the next book. However, I refuse to subscribe to that! Here's why:
(I wrote an actual essay, so it's below the cut:)
"Together romantically" My answer to the other ask was me visiting the Xaden Liarson school of verbal gymnastics so that I didn't spoil the ending for that anon. However, judging by Xaden's behavior throughout ALL of Onyx Storm (and frankly, books 1 and 2 as well) he wouldn't marry her just to dip overall. Like, even not being meta here, he wouldn't do that. He's selfish when it comes to her, for one thing, and he says this repeatedly. For another, he CLEARLY wants to marry her just to marry her. I don't want to get sucked in to another re-read (and someone else asked for my thoughts on the ending in general, so I'll reply to that ask once I'm done with my second re-read in the next few days with more page numbers and quotes and things) but in the scene with his mother, Xaden's reaction seems to illustrate that marriage is NOT a tool for him like it was for his father. He wants to marry Violet because he loves her. Now, obviously the shotgun (crossbow?) wedding was ALSO a move to protect her and solidify her place without him as you said, but with how he talked about marriage throughout the book, and how he talked about HER, he's not marrying her just to dip. He's just not! It means something to him, as she does, and he's not going to forsake that.
Violet Violet isn't letting him marry her just to dip either. Her thoughts throughout the entire book are that she isn't scared of him and she isn't running, and she isn't letting him run from her, either. The way the scene is set up with Sgaeyl, we see:
(Sgaeyl) glances over her shoulder. "And you think she'll help?" "She loves me." "Tairn does not, and you haven't looked in the mirror yet. The red veins branching from your eyes look like her lightning." "She'll help." It comes out with a hell of a lot more certainty than I feel. "She promised."
I am slightly worried about pronoun fuckery in this bit, but we know Violet loves him more than anything, and this portion of Xaden's chapter makes it clear Violet has to agree to whatever the plan is (murdering dragons, stealing eggs, etc) and that Tairn does as well. I think Tairn would actually support them breaking up, to a certain degree, and whatever the plan is, Sgaeyl does NOT think Tairn will be down.
And then, for more confirmation:
"We will ask," Sgaeyl finally says, flexing her claws in the rocky soil "And her decision will determine our fate."
They need Violet on board for whatever they're doing. Violet isn't going to be on board with him dumping her post wedding. I know some of these lines can point in other directions, but I don't think they do, for the reasons I'll go on to spell out below!
3. Memories I know some people were confused about what, precisely, Imogen made Violet forget, and it seems like she's missing 12 hours (which, insane signet growth, Im). I could not get over Violet forgetting her wedding. Hours after I finished the book, I was like, oh my God. She can't remember her wedding, and I burst into tears. Repeatedly. At length. Which is insane, because these books NEVER make me cry. All this to say, (again, given Xaden's tone specifically surrounding marriage) they aren't going to take having her forget their wedding lightly. They just aren't. She has to forget everything in those twelve hours, because she helps Xaden concoct/finalize whatever the hell he's planning on doing (I'll probably share what I think he's planning on doing in my response to the ask I mentioned above, but the gist of it for now is that mans is going on a quest of his own), but Violet ASKS Imogen to make her forget. In the marriage aspect, Xaden's protecting Violet, but in forgetting, Violet's protecting Xaden. This is why I say romantically together as well. I think the love is more important than anything else. I think the point of this book was to make it clear they'd both do absolutely anything for the other, and the ending is a culmination of that. I know some people suggested that they have her forget so that she can't be interrogated and used against him, and I think that's definitely true (although I think making her duchess also protects her from this, but Violet has always doubted her own ability to lie). Personally, my gut instinct interpretation was that deal she made with Ridoc that she'd let Ridoc kill him if Xaden took being venin too far (which, side note, do we all just forget about them being interconnected when it suits us??? He can't die because then Violet will die. We've been over this. I digress). Clearly everyone seems to think his little "display" at the end of the book is "too far." I don't know if he killed anyone important in that scene (again, I actually thought Bodhi dies? At first? And THAT was why she had to marry Xaden to secure the duchy while he was gone? but Red Tower seems to be very in tune to fandom priorities, and with how many people love Bodhi, killing him off page would certainly be a choice) but he's still at least an Asim, if not a Sage (given the veins, I'm 99% sure he's a Sage, but again, we don't get anything concrete in that ending. side eye, Red Tower. side eye.) and therefore everyone thinks he betrayed them, and he needs to get out of there before everyone else kills him! By forgetting, Violet is saving his life. That's romantically together to me.
4. Quest! Xaden doesn't leave Violet to pull an Edward and frolic around Europe for a few months or whatever it is. He has a plan. This what he shows Sgaeyl, I believe, and what Vi and Tairn have to agree on. It involves stealing the dragon eggs, killing the elders and/or the other dragons (save me third re-read of this damn scene, save me) and getting the hell out. @maethologies told me privately that the very act of going on the Quest means Xaden has hope for a "cure", just like Violet said he still had hope if he was trying to get Brennan to mend him. I think this is the Second Krovlan Uprising tie in: trade the dragon eggs (side note: why are there 7? did Andarna steal an egg and bring it back ????) and get allies against the venin (and eventually Navarre) (and perhaps do other cure-related tasks, idk). I also personally think Xaden's going to find more answers for Violet about her connection with Dunne. A huge theme of this book was that (explicitly) Xaden and Andarna don't know who they are, but Violet doesn't really know either. She spends book 3 helping them, and in book 4, I think they help her. Basically, he returns to the isles for quest part 2! Also, I think bringing 3 riders with him is a clear sign he's not just dipping. I'm hoping my second re-read helps me finalize who the hell he brought with him besides Garrick, but if they go to the isles like I'm thinking, my moneys on Dain or Aaric for the language translation (both of whom love Violet). I have a variety of other quest nonsense to share in the other ask, but the gist of it is that he is moving with a purpose! And his purpose is Violet! Because he's in love with her!
5. Meta This is where I get a LITTLE messy. I don't know if everyone reading this saw my 2024 reading wrap up, but I have read the vast majority of RY's catalog, and I consider myself to be very familiar with the themes she likes to write, and the situations she likes to return to, over and over again. A HUGE focus for her is the war in Afghanistan. She's been obsessed with that for ten years, which makes complete sense given who she is and her lived experiences. If you happen to not be super familiar with Rebecca as a person, her husband was in the military for a very long time, and her primary sub-genre is military romance. I don't know if this carries over internationally, but in the United States, marrying your partner early on in your military career is incredibly common, because it protects them in the event of your death and while you're deployed. I was really upset about him marrying her and then immediately leaving at first, but when I thought about it, it makes complete sense for who Rebecca is and what she's gone through. I'm not trying to accuse her of self inserting or anything like that, but she clearly likes to write situations that are important to her (as do I! As do we all!) and so it makes sense to me that she'd call upon something like this for X and V. It does NOT make sense to me that she'd call upon something she went through with her husband she's still married to and then make it a break up. Will it cause tension? Obviously! But to quote Mr. Riorson himself, they're past the break up stage. (Rebecca does some silly things with foreshadowing in her books, and sometimes she says things like this to prove them wrong, and other times, she says things like this prove them right. I really think this is a "prove them right" scenario, but I'm basing that off vibes, frankly, and my knowledge of her body of work. My Rebeccca-dar, if you will.)
6. Xaden Liarson I see your point about the note, and maybe I'm deranged, but I do actually just think he's lying. I don't think he's stupid enough to think she won't come looking for him at this point. He knows her too well for that. I think the "don't come looking for me" or whatever it is is a cover up for everyone else who thinks he betrayed Tyrrendor. Also, it slows her down! I am certain she'll look for him eventually (peep her broken compass from the god of luck, anyone?), but the note + the memory wiping make it so she can't immediately go looking for him. I think that's the point of it, not that she never looks for him again.
To conclude this literal essay, I think they're still together romantically because of Riorgail's most up-to-date characterization on their own and dynamic together, as well as who Rebecca is as a writer. I actually could probably write another essay on this, and I probably will in the other ask, but if there's anything else, let me know!! I need to bleed this book out of me so I can be normal again. But even if they are "broken up", it doesn't matter long term. The five book series WILL end with them together. That's how romantasy works. Xaden isn't dying. Violet isn't dying. Everyone else is fair game, but those two are fine, LOL.
Also, you are SO welcome for fic, always. I am not a fluff girly, unfortunately. I don't really write it in general, but we'll see if I get possessed. I do have a girl dad Xaden fic in the works (in which I have to re-work their wedding....) and I have some new smut ideas I want to write sometime soon! I think that will scratch the itch for me, anyway! As I've mentioned throughout this post, my hangover cure of choice has been to dive right back into Onyx Storm again, and I honestly think that was the best idea for me. I didn't do that after Iron Flame because I thought it was somehow "bad" to do so, and then I just longed for these characters for months. But, you do you! I wanted to make a masterpost of my hangover cure recs, but we'll see if I ever get to it. If you've read this far I am personally giving you a virtual gold star.
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sasahuaa · 4 months ago
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Can you add scaramouche to your omega character series? He'd be a disastrous omega that needs lots of healing but I'm sure his partner can provide
You're doing great! I love reading your fics and characterization
Scaramouche as an omega
I was really considering Scaramouche before to start with genshin! I was a bit scared to start with Scara because I could see that I would start yapping, and almost did, I had to cut so many things bc my initial idea was to write him in all stages of his life, also not sure if you meant the canon timeline or fatui!scaramouche, but I can do that in the future, for now this fic has some brief mentions of Kabukimono and the fatui. And thank you for the kind words, it means a lot!
gn!reader; cw: contains deep dives into his mindset so he has pessimistic thoughts in some parts (like him thinking that reader is a sort of player, bur nothing too heavy)
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This poor omega is indeed disastrous, since the moment his creator abandoned him, Kabukimono was left with a lot of questions regarding his worth. He does not understand, truly, by venturing around he discovered that omegas were not treated with much respect, was that the reason why his mother abandoned him? Does she think an alpha would be more appropriate to be an archon? But he was a puppet, designed by her will, it didn't make sense why she would make him an omega to begin with if that was her reasoning, so what was wrong with him?
The little fledgling was happy during his stay in Tatarasuna, Niwa was a father figure that teached him many skills, and the village helped each other, he was pampered by everyone. What a pity that disaster caused by a doctor's interest befell such a kind community.
Scaramouche felt his dignity crumble more each year, month, day, second that passed. At every step that he was corrupted by the fatui's ideals and methods - his body torn apart from Dottore's experiments - the thoughts of self-doubt grew in his mind. He wasn't enough to be a god, discarded before he had the chance to try, his hands didn't purify the water nor cut through mountains, no one would sing his name in worship, but he also wasn't enough to be human, his skin is artificial, unflawed like porcelain, not even a mechanical heart occupy the emptiness of his hollow chest. Forever lost in between the limbo of where his existence belongs.
For a being so emotional, Scaramouche wonders when was the last time he felt anything besides rage, it doesn't matter too much for him, as he learned how to use his anger as a tool. His underlings - though only in the fatui, as the people of Sumeru never faced the omega's wrath (or better worded, don't remember) - whispered out of his earreach, murmurs wondering if the beautiful omega was capable of love.
And now, carrying the title of Wanderer and face to face with the reason that made the vacant part of him tremble, he finally found the answer.
Courting
Nahida's orders indirectly led him to you, to be a student of the Akademiya would eventually force him to interact with other scholars, you being from Vahumana or not didn't matter, as students from different darshans would often benefited from cooperating. And like many people he met nowadays, he was indifferent at first, which considering his past as The Balladeer, when everyone was an annoying fly in his way, is a considerable improvement.
But for many aspects of life, even as he accepted that this would be something that he never would reach, he was interested in humanity. What makes people human, their flaws, traits, mannerisms and personality, what makes them yield or fill them with confidence. His almost deification didn’t bring him the same satisfaction as he felt with Niwa and the rest of the Tatarasuna people, but watching the Sumeru's citizens may be close enough.
If it's something he can't be, then he will appease himself by observing.
As he looks at alphas, he thinks that this is another thing that he is flawed at. In his studies, Scaramouche determined that omegas supposedly went crazy over alphas, but he never felt it before, or maybe he never gave himself a chance to try. A long time before he learned the consequences of creating genuine connections, that humans tend to betray the same way gods do.
But… he learned that they never did abandon him, that maybe he can trust again.
And while you both worked on your project, these types of thoughts ushered to the top of his mind like never before. You were nice to him,and laughed it off when he was being purposely cunning. You were also attentive, meticulous in your work and doting on him, always bringing him tea or other types of bitter delicacies, and just shrugged when he said there was no need to feed him.
He liked to see your reactions, there were moments when your behaviour took a tired and upset turn, when you mumbled curses about the things that went wrong with your work. It was somewhat relieving and entertaining to witness, that the gentle façade crumbles when faced with challenges.
“It's always better to work with a full stomach” you said, not sparing a thought that he didn't need to eat.
“This is pointless” the omega grumbled, he took a step away from the food.
“So just eat for the satisfaction of it, the success rate of content workers is higher than stressed ones” you insisted, and Scaramouche hated that.
Why do you treat it like there was no trouble in taking care of him? Getting out of your way to please others is dumb, especially for the likes of him.
The omega knows that he is a pessimist, that people always have motives behind their actions, and even Nahida didn't escape his judgement as he does not believe she is merely being kind and benevolent. You are no different, and when he is alone with his thoughts after bidding you goodbye and retiring for the day, he must find your intentions.
As he looks himself in the mirror, Scaramouche looks carefully at his appearance, “alphas and betas are always kinder to pretty omegas, we all know that they only want one thing” it's what the older men from the bazar say. He raises his hands to cup his face, fingers touching smooth skin with no marks, doe indigo eyes look back at him with something akin to divinity, and as he glances lower, he does not think his body lacks in beauty.
That must be it, they clearly are being good to me only to get in my pants!
Scaramouche is not a saint, he knew that, but since he started to work on his path to atonement, he was completely honest about himself. The omega knows that not everyone is like that, people that mask themselves behind lies and generous mannerisms are the worst kind of evil, and to think that you would be capable of that-
Hurts.
There is an annoying pain in his chest and a prickle behind his eyes. He needed proof, he will uncover the worst in you, that's a promise he made to himself.
Scaramouche was snarky and insufferable the following days, refusing to cooperate at all. And though he won't admit it, it was hard for him to do that, your scent wavered with a hint of sadness everytime he was rough, and he felt a need within him clawing to be free, he had to fight himself against releasing a comforting scent to appease you.
But his instinct quieted down whenever he saw you acting honorably to other omegas, when you held the door open for a nobody, or when you generously lent a hand to someone feeling troubled. The rage he felt was immeasurable, he growled lowly and was almost convinced to attack whoever was taking your attention from him.
So he wasn't special at all, he wasn’t needed, he wasn't wanted, it's always like that.
It all came to a boiling point when he snapped at you, harsh words thrown at your directions about what he thought you were doing, messing with omegas hearts just to set them aside when you were done getting what you wanted, truly shameful. Nonetheless, he felt regretful when he saw your pained expression.
“What made you think that?” your voice was quiet, and Scaramouche would prefer if you looked pissed by his accusations, anything to reassure him that he was right “You could have told me you were uncomfortable, I would've stopped”
Uncomfortable? He isn't uncomfortable by your actions towards him, he is… pleased that you did not shy away from a broken thing like him. What he did not like was when you did things for others that he believes should be only for him, and the perceptions he created himself even when you never gave him a reason to.
During all this time Scaramouche was overwhelmed by feelings, and though he is used to feel too much, what he felt about you was completely foreign to him, not the familial care he felt for Niwa and the kid from ages ago, not the gratefulness he felt for Nahida and the traveler for giving him a chance to atone for his mistakes, and not the kinship when he met Durin.
“So are you saying that you were running away from it?” Nahida questioned, placing a flower crown above the omega's head, aranara's joyfully circling around both of them “It's fine to be scared, and if you talk to them about it I am sure they will understand”
“How are you sure that people won't disappoint you? Don't you believe it's easier if you cut the problem by the roof so you never have to discover it?”
“I decide to give an opportunity for everyone to prove themselves, and maybe you would be happily surprised by the results” the goddess cupped his face, pinching the fat of his cheeks and giggling when Scaramouche bat her hands away “You look different since you met them, even your scent doesn't hold that sour end from before”
And he followed Nahida's advice, not because she told him what to do, but staying away from you was killing him inside. This is not normal, is it? To think the world is falling apart just because your desired person is not close by.
Moreover, he guesses that since becoming a citizen of Sumeru he started to work on redeeming himself, what is one more person to apologize for when you acted out of line?
Scaramouche prepared a basket of fruits and Padisarah flowers and headed to your work station, exchanging these types of words is still unfamiliar to him, but he made it very clear that he wanted to improve your relationship.
It's possible that the state of your relationship was just confirmed when someone he was jealous of before questioned him.
“Of course we are courting, don't ask stupid questions”
Honestly, it's possible Scaramouche just came to terms with his feelings after he said that. The omega was still astonished that he is loved back, he doesn't know if he deserves this.
And yet, he can't deny himself the pleasure of being in your arms, taking deep breaths of your scent and resting his eyes with your rumbling under his head. If he is being selfish and taking a good alpha form a good omega, so be it! No one deserves you anyway, if another omega even thinks of taking you from him they will be met with sharp teeth and claws.
You both become inseparable, while it's mostly because he enjoys spending time with you as much as you - and he sees you as one of the few people that it's not a waste of time to be together -, it's also a result of a deeply buried insecurity of being betrayed, he knows that some were misunderstandings, but it's hard to change a mindset after hundreds of years believing in it.
He prefers the reassurance coming from actions instead of words, so when his alpha permit him to scent all of their clothes and also their body, or hold him tight and shows that he belongs by their side when he is feeling bothered by the presence of another, it's moments like this that he feels the most complete.
Scaramouche is truthful in a relationship and he expects you to do the same, if he feels that he needs something and you can provide he will ask, he may not be the romantic type, but everyday he makes it very clear how much he adores you.
He doesn't have a favorite gift to receive - unless you make a table full of sweets, he will complain non-stop if you do that. Spending time together is enough for him, but he appreciates anything you give him, gift him a small plushie and say you thought of him when you saw it, perhaps he will tease you and joke a little, but he will keep it safe. If you give Scaramouche jewelry or any small token, he will bring it with him anywhere he goes. His gifts to you include artifacts he finds when Nahida sends him on expeditions, also Scaramouche doesn't have hobbies for himself, so instead he will engage on yours.
Growling
During the fatui era, growls were very frequent sounds he made, it was almost impossible that someone that worked with him and never heard him growl. And he felt so powerful doing so, a long time ago, while he still lived in Inazuma, omega's were heavily punished if they growled at someone, and though this conservative behavior diminished a lot compared to the past, it was far from being extinguished.
So with his title as a harbinger, Scaramouche growled until they all cowered by his feet, just like a god should be revered.
But since living in Sumeru, he doesn't growl as much anymore, this is because he is not as stressed as before, he lifted the weight off his shoulders that was having to act like something he would never become, he was not trying to sacrifice his body for his objectives anymore. There's the occasional growl when other people irritate him, as a warning to watch their words and actions.
In a relationship with you, Scaramouche also growls when he is feeling jealous or insecure, but overall, he does not growl at you unless he is in a deep mindset that something feels wrong, he will require reassurance in times like this.
Purring
Scaramouche doesn't remember the last time he purred, and now he is almost sure his purr box is broken. The omega has two reasons to think that, one is that it has been centuries, he does not know how to purr due to the disuse of that part of his vocal cords, another is because of the experiments Dottore made on him, turning his body almost inside out.
Nowadays he does not care whether he purrs or not, it's a thing he lived almost his entire life without, and he does not miss it.
If he somehow discovers that he can purr again, it would be an almost inaudible sound. If you want to hear it, you would need to rest your head over his chest, it's more vibrational than vocal. Scaramouche will not purr in public, for him, it's a thing that just both of you should be aware of.
Nesting
Scaramouche does not have a proper nest, actually, what he calls his nest is merely two pillows and one blanket that he carries around his home. at max he will try to put the blanket in a circular shape.
He took a while before introducing you to his nest. He was a bit insecure at first, other omega's have big and filled nests, with an enormous assortment of colors and textures, while his… during the fatui, he would say it was just another thing that proved something was wrong with him.
And he enjoys it so much when you are with him in his nest, you could be just relaxing around the house, and he would bring his blanket and wrap it around you wordlessly. It made him feel warm with adoration whenever he saw you inside something purely his.
He won't get out of his way to buy or make things for his nest, but he will increment it if it is a gift from his alpha. He thinks it is kind of lovable that his alpha would try to get things to make him more comfortable, and Scaramouche deeply appreciates that.
Marking
He marks you all the time, even before you started to officially court. His scent is now almost ingrained into your skin, and if he already had permission to give you a biting mark, he would.
It's not just a sign for other omegas that you are already committed to him, it's also a reminder for you, that you have an omega to come back to, and that he would do anything to keep you with him.
But even after he becomes confident that you won't leave him behind - no omega or yourself is going to separate you from him - he still covers you in his smell, Scaramouche became very fond of the whole process of scent marking and to claim you for himself.
It's therapeutic to him, he will nuzzle quietly your cheeks and bring the scent glands of his wrists to your neck, not a single gland of your go untouched. For him, it's a mandatory procedure that you must go through before leaving home, especially if your agendas oblige you to not be together for the rest of the day.
Subspace
He never entered subspace before you, and it also took a while for you to achieve that. He denied himself the mindset many times before, he felt kinda scared by it, to be so vulnerable. Anytime he felt that his mind was starting to feel like it was becoming cotton filled, Scaramouche immediately backed away from you and tried to distract himself.
When he does enter subspace, he is whiny and clingy, following you around your home and hugging you when you are busy, from behind if you are cooking, sitting on your lap and throwing his arms around your neck while you work.
Scaramouche feels like he took a shot of serotonin when he smells your skin, he is addicted, touching every exposed part of your body to his contentment. He also likes to bite, so you probably will be covered by marks of nibbles by the end of it.
And when he sobers up again he gets flustered easily, he can't believe he let instincts control over his body. He will hiss if you mention anything that he did during subspace. Nonetheless, he will eventually get into it again and the cycle will repeat itself.
☽ ☼ ☾
Scaramouche supposes things should turn out like they were before, that everything would come back to normal, he followed Nahida's advice, the instinct in his gut that begs to be with you, and yet, it seems worse than before. The omega may have had a strong reaction before and jumped into conclusions far from the truth, but he has also gotten used to silently pine for you, not expecting anything from it - maybe he can be and was aggressive towards other people that had your attention, but he won't mention it! -, for he can count the number of times in his long life that situations turned into his favor.
But Scaramouche reminded himself that he has to learn that your entire existence is too good to be true. You give him hope in many ways that he never imagined before. Your arms are stretched before him, holding a light blue and soft blanket.
“And for what reason would you give me that?” he stepped forward, picking the material from your hands.
“Can't you guess?” you chuckled and shook your head, the movement dispersed your scent that was reeking of amusement “If anything, see it as a gift to compensate the time we spend apart, to show how much I cherish you”
His eyes widen at the proclamation, under his nose he can smell that the blanket is scented. An item for a nest and carrying your smell, isn't that a sign of a courting gift? He couldn't help but hug the blanket tighter at the thought.
“Thank you for trying to look out for me”
For a long time he desired for a normal life, all his objectives from the past had the intention to lead to it, sadly all was for nothing, and he hopes he didn't look pitiful for that. And yet, in front of him, he saw an opportunity for that, he just needed to reach for you.
Once again, he gives himself the chance to dream of a better future.
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murdercide626 · 4 months ago
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Regarding Gerald in Sonic 3
(SPOILERS!!)
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I've been thinking about how Gerald Robotnik was depicted in the third Sonic movie, and I have some observations.
I'm sure some fans have been comparing Gerald as shown in the film versus the games and taken note of not only how much sillier he is in the movie, but also how he's depicted as being considerably more villainous.
There are a couple things to consider though. In the games (especially since Shadow Generations) the majority of what we see of Gerald is from before the tragedy on the ARK and losing Maria, and we only get brief bits of him after he lost his sanity.
However in the movie it's the exact opposite situation. Almost everything we see of Gerald in the film is after Maria's death and he's clearly lost his sanity. Not only that, but because Gerald in the film never got executed, he spent many decades in a prison cell, stewing in his despair and rage, becoming more and more bitter and deranged while also extending his lifespan to an unnatural length by dosing himself with chaos energy from Shadow's quill.
But you might say, "Gerald in the movie only saw Shadow as a tool and didn't love him." While there's evidence of that being true in the present day, there's little to suggest that's the case in the very brief bit we see of Gerald in the flashback he's shown in before Maria's death. I personally think Gerald did have a fondness for Shadow before the tragedy, likely through observing Maria's close friendship with him. When Gerald retrieves Maria and Shadow to flea the facility he refers to them both collectively as "children", meaning he possibly had a similar fondness for both of them. I think that after Maria's death though, Gerald's slipping sanity, disillusionment with humanity, and obsession with avenging Maria's death, probably made him lose sight of the love he once had for Shadow.
And there is even evidence of the same thing happening in the games, with Gerald treating Shadow as little more than a tool for his posthumous plan for genocidal vengeance, which would have ended with Shadow's death too. Gerald even tampered with Shadow's memories of Maria to ensure he'd carry out his plans.
There's also evidence in the games of Gerald having an ego similar to Eggman's, shown by him modeling the ARK to resemble his face. Gerald even sheepishly confessed in his journal he was being self indulgent when designing the ARK. So it would seem in the games Gerald does possess at least some of the negative traits shared with his grandson, though he's self aware of these flaws and tries to suppress them. Gerald in the movie however is at a point where he's way past caring, since he's already decided to destroy the earth and everyone on it, so he's just letting his freak flag fly. lol
So if Gerald hadn't been executed in the games, who knows how he might have turned out. Gerald being executed was probably a mercy, really...
And it should also be noted that Sega themselves even considered resurrecting Gerald as a villainous character in the early production of Shadow's solo game.
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That actually brings me to another thing I was thinking about while watching the movie. In Sonic 3, they repeatedly emphasize how similar Eggman and Gerald are in appearance, quirks, skills, and even wearing near identical outfits at the end. Sonic even collectively refers to them both as "Eggmen".
This stood out to me because it reminded me of the Rush games where Eggman teamed up with Eggman Nega, a character that was near identical to Eggman, but having a greying mustache and a darker, more twisted personality.
As I've mentioned in previous posts, I've had a theory that the scrapped plot point of resurrecting Gerald as a villain is what led to the creation of the Eggman Nega character. So seeing Gerald as depicted in the movie was like seeing it all come full circle. lol
But anyway, yeah, this has been another stream of consciousness rant from me. Maybe you got something out of this, or maybe not. Oh well. lol
And just to make myself clear, I am NOT trying to argue that Gerald is a bad person in the games (at least before Maria died). If what I said came across like that, then I'm sorry, but that was definitely not my intention.
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wellfine · 10 days ago
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What kind of plant do you think each Straw Hat would be? Feel free to ignore this results in an unrelenting deep dive into plants.
Oh I love little thought experiments like this LET'S SEE 🪴
Luffy: Sunflower! In my mind he's associated with them pretty heavily but I guess not actually lol? Thousand Sunny is more associated with them. But he did wear them that one time... Anyway I think he'd be a giant freaky fasciated sunflower where the seed head streeeetches like rubber and he's always turned to the sun (which may be a myth for actual sunflowers, which only makes it creepier that he does that)
Zoro: A real-life marimo for sure! Those things are so cute. I would have one as a pet but I think they're actually an invasive species here. Anyway aquatic plant life and moss in general is really interesting and looks so beautiful underwater, he would totally just be chilling down there
Nami: A lucky tangerine tree that brings you prosperity 🍊🧧
Usopp: I think a pitcher plant! Or a Venus fly-trap? Maybe a rafflesia... or caltrop, the one that drops the little arena hazards lol... There are too many options for Usopp! But I also think something humble but beautiful like a daisy. Or maybe a dandelion, considered a weed by some but whimsical and auspicious by others, and either way, will always bounce back!
Sanji: Sea grapes... maybe that's silly... I think he'd love it though... it's a little more poetic/beautiful than any other kind of seaweed and it's kind of foodie-adjacent. He could bloom in the All Blue... and mermaids could turn him into seagrape wine
Chopper: You might think a cherry blossom tree! But I actually think he'd be a willow. Willow bark contains a chemical with a similar effect to aspirin and was a very important medical tool/discovery, and I can imagine deer eating the young bark and leaves. He could also be a sarsparilla plant - which was originally also used as a medicine but is now enjoyed as a delicious sweet treat which Choppy would love!
Robin: It's tempting to say something like Belladonna or something else used as a poison because she's such a witchy assassin-coded woman... but I think she might be the cherry blossom tree. With a million gnarled but beautiful limbs
Franky: Kola nut tree 👍Or a giant Redwood
Brook: If we're including mushrooms within the purview of "plants" here then I think he'd be a dead man's fingers mushroom. Otherwise maybe a Night Queen... there's just something ghostly but beautiful about them. Or a peach tree for that sweet 🍑
Jinbe: Lotus flower 🪷
(From the same anon:) What would your favorite characters be internet famous for?
Luffy: Definitely think any modern!AU Luffy would be a short form content influencer who got famous for just doing the most ridiculous stunts, eating three tablespoons of cinnamon when nobody asked him to, and for generally agitating cops
Zoro: Zoro himself is terminally offline but has become something of an internet cryptid for his ability to appear in the background of other people's completely unrelated livestreams. Disneyland? Grand Canyon? Live flood news footage? Holy shit it's that hot green hair guy again
Nami: 🤫💰
Usopp: Usopp has "streamer" written all over him. I mean it's just that one colour spread isn't it. He probably manages Nami's OF as well and they do a bunch of joint streams. Reaction clips of him flood the internet and he probably comes up with a lot of the ideas for Luffy to follow through on too
Sanji: Normal food content I think, slowly building a following with a boost from thirsty fans haha. He would be resourceful and respectful and charming, pick fights with those dudes who violate pizza dough, and also seem to know SOMETHING about that fucking green hair guy he's not telling us
Chopper:
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Brook: Soundcloud rapper
I think the other Straw Hats would keep a low profile online... but I unfortunately think Barto would be one of those ragebait influencers who just goes around pissing everyone off for no reason and being really disrespectful and inconsiderate until he happens to stumble upon the same location Luffy is filming at and has a life-changing altercation
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mari-lair · 1 month ago
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It's your au, having fun is always the most important part of it! And while I don't agree with a lot of things, for the role Akane has in the au, it does works + writing newspaper about an exorcist sounds fun, it would give Akane a brand new world to chew.
Now, you asked my personal opinion of his role as Mitsuba, so I'll be honest: I don't see him fitting Mitsuba's arc in a way that doesn't destroy his characterization.
"Rude kid who can't empathize with people and wish for a friend that won't leave him for being too harsh" is the opposite of Akane's character.
Strap in, I rambled a lot here.
Akane is one of the most popular guys in school (which i have proof, check it here) and he is loved by many people that he is openly rude to.
Think of Lemon: They are friend, neither of them is trying to please the other. When they hang out is because they want to.
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Akane doesn't try to be nice to Lemon, we see him beat Lemon up a lot, their very introduction in the manga is Akane yelling/knocking Lemon down from his lackluster performance.
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Which means when Akane is kind to Lemon he isn't trying to paint himself in a good light, he is empatizing and trying to help. I find it sweet how he used his power as a class representative to help Lemon not get in trouble with school work that he had forgotten to do.
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The panel above is part of his oficial introduction in the manga. Nene is the one that says Akane is "kind and friendly to everyone, no exception"
And we know how rude Akane is to her.
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So why would she call him 'friendly and kind?'.
Well, because he is. You'll never see someone call him sweet, he is not like Nene or Kou, which is usually the kind of bubbly image people get when they hear that someone is 'friendly', but he is approachable and he does care about people a lot.
Let's go back to the scene above where he is being a judgemental little shit to Nene. Akane is in the middle of work when Nene greets him, cause he have a tool box in his hand + he have been helping everyone the entire night so is fair to assume he is still doing one of the many tasks people need him for.
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Despite how draining the night have been Akane was going to put his duty on hold (which would make him more overworked later) to see what Nene needed from him.
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He doesn't even say "This better be important!", he just goes along: If she seeked him why would he turn her away?
This isn't even the first time Akane helps Nene. He was the one that suggested Nene to take Kou to the festival after hell of mirrors got Kou depressed.
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Akane have been friendly since he was a small child.
Did you ever wonder why out of everyone Akane was Aoi's only friend during her childhood?
It's not because he was his neighbor and that's convinient. It's because he was the only kid nice enough to be alarmed when people were mean to Aoi, the only one who befriended the 'cold and untouchable girl.'
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Aoi was his friend before his crush, they always seem to be having fun on their flashbacks, and it's clear Akane wasn't forcing himself to be nice to her when they met (look at the judgemental look he sends Aoi on the art where he takes her out of the rain + We know Akane could be mean/careless enough to make Aoi cry)
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The effortless way people flock to him is constantly used to contrast Aoi's isolation.
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This boy was never alone, his fatigue is because he is always surrounded, always the first option, always sought after. Always complaining but trying to help.
Add in his work with the clock keepers and god damn it of course he is always in a bad mood. I would too, give this boy a break.
Even at sleeptime people are comfortable enough to call him to come help (Kou isn't even from his class, this is not Akane taking his class representative duties seriously, he is just going 'Fine, I'll help')
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What he suck at isn't empathizing, is being sweet or tactful.
Let's take Nene's breakdown as an exemple: Akane is visibly distressed by her tears, he asks what's wrong and looks for something to say, sweating in silence, and cracking his head, trying to find something to say that would help her.
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He isn't close to Nene, and despite it not being Nene's fault, a part of him must be comflicted about Aoi's death being for her survival, so he can't just hug her, he also isn't an optimistic or a fan of lies so he won't go 'is okay we'll be fine!' when he feel just as depressed about Aoi's death as Nene. He is too prideful and honest to give someone a fake smile and empty words just because it is 'the right thing to do'.
He does try to help her keep her head up by saying "Let's team up" which you may scoff at, after all, it isn't something that happened, Akane stay with Teru and Nene with Kou during the rescue arc, but it is implied that this was an invitation he was willing to go through with.
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If Nene didn't have Kou and his optimism available (which is something Nene greatly preffers over Akane's harsh and realistic approach to 'comfort', something I go into more detail here.) and she decided to stick by Akane's side, needing the support of her 'miserable about their situation' buddy , Akane wouldn't have abandoned Nene.
Same tough approach for Teru: When Teru vents, Akane never goes 'ooh poor you,' or 'you did your best' he get annoyed that his upperclassman is whining when they should be focusing on Aoi's rescue, he does not want to do this. But he still respect his woes enough to sit down and pause their rescue plans to listen.
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Anyways, the point is: His arc is not related to isolation, regrets, or learning to socialize. It's about arrogance.
Akane is the guy people have been relying on for ages, so he grew up used to doing things himself and being rewarded love and respect for his resilience, for being able to help with anything.
His fatal flaw is that when he make a judgement he assume he is right and stick to it forever. When possible, he tries to do things by himself, not because he doesn't have anyone he can ask for help but because he believes that he is capable. That he can do it alone.
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His judgement/arrogance problem isolates him from his loved ones too.
Think of Aoi, his darling who he would sacrifice anything to make her happy.
He knew she hid her emotions behind a mask, pretending nothing bothers her, and he also knew she likes when he gives her attention, so he assumed that "Aoi play it cool but she likes when I give her big gestures of love"
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Which at the time was true.
HOWEVER, he kept this belief unchanged even when they started to drift apart, assuming that confessions made her happy so if she is down is because he isn't showing her enough love, he should do it more.
"I'm the one that can solve this. I am the problem if she isn't happy" -> that's self centered and arrogant.
Not once did he question why he never got more than two points, even when Aoi said she wants to die he assumed showing her more love would be the answer.
Look at this clown, he really though reassuring her that he still loves her after she stabbed him is what he needed to do instead of asking her why what he have been doing doesn't make her feel loved anyone.
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It took Aoi explaining explicitly what the problem was for Akane to understand he was wrong and his actions worsened the problem.
And since he prioritizes her comfort over his pride, he did rechange his behavior, but it is still an issue that it took him so long to notice the problem! I swear if Aoi never sat down and explained everything, Akane would still be showing his concern like this, fully believing he is doing 'what Aoi loves'
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instead of doing this:
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Akane still need to work on his pride but he is doing much better. This ramble is getting long enough as it is though, so i'll stop it here.
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twilightkitkat · 6 months ago
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Thoughts on Origins Victor? My theory is that he accepted his inner animal because when his mutation emerged it gave him an opportunity not to be a victim anymore. (The movie doesn't state this but i think we all know from sub context that Thomas beat him regularly) And he was so brutal and arrogant because being the man meant having to come to terms with the abuse he suffered and so he lost himself in his animalistic side. He wanted Logan being like him too because for him it meant strength and not being vulnerable. But all in all he cared about Logan deeply. He loved him. When he encouraged him to kill him later on he didn't wanna die. And he knew Logan wouldn't have done it. But during that moment he could feel Logan's animal side breaking to the surface stronger than ever before and wanted to encourage his little brother to fully submit to it. So that he would become strong. Because Logan's empathy and morals were weakness in his eyes. A weakness that Logan needed to be freed from in order to overcome his emotial pain.
So what you think?
I think that Victor's childhood trauma definitely played a vital part in shaping who he became. He was used to being seen as less than, to getting beaten, to being constantly reminded that he was beneath everyone. This manifested into an obsession with hierarchy and being the "apex predator" to overcompensate for how he felt as a kid, weak and beneath the feet of those above him. He lived life by the status quo, and so if he wanted to survive he needed to claw his way to the top of it the only way he knew how: violence.
His need for the control he never had in his childhood manifests into a perverted form of sadism. He likes being in power and playing "god" over whether people live or die. He likes seeing how terrified people are of him, because it means he has the power. It comforts him to know how far he's come and that he isn't the same weak little kid he used to be. It's nice to be respected, even if that respect is built on fear and only kept through violence.
Victor is also characterized by a remarkable lack of empathy, which leads me to believe he either was born with or developed ASPD. His lack of empathy isn't what drives him to kill, that's for the reasons stated above, but it makes it easier for him to detach himself from it all. In the Origins movie, he never seems to view his victims as "humans." He views them as means to an end so that he can get to Logan or as victims or tools to display his dominance to those around him. He doesn't feel remorse for his actions because he has difficulties understanding "normal" emotions and he isn't thinking of people as dynamic individuals with lives and hopes and dreams.
This especially affects his relationship with Logan. Logan also struggles with empathy in some cases, but not to the same degree as Victor. Logan sees people as they are—people. He is capable of detaching himself from them to some extent, which is why he was able to stay with Victor throughout the wars and continue fighting, but not entirely. When they start killing civilians outright, not just nameless soldiers who signed up for battle, Logan can't take it anymore. He snaps.
And Victor doesn't understand this. His lack of empathy isn't just for the people he kills, but for Logan, too. It isn't that Victor doesn't care about Logan, but he can't understand him. What does he mean, he feels bad? Doesn't Logan get that those people don't matter, that they're just tools to let them climb up the ranks?
It's why he feels so betrayed when Logan walks away. To him, Logan left him over a squabble about toys. He thinks that leaving because he kills people is a petty reason, and that Logan would leave him over just that. After all they've been through. All Victor's done for him.
Logan, to Victor, is someone he's entitled to. He's the only person who's immortal like him, who has been by his side since the start. Their relationship is unhealthy and a little coercive but Victor cares about Logan in a way he doesn't for anyone else. He loves him. Getting "betrayed" by Logan was what caused Victor to finally crack and go fully to the dark side, even if he was heading there anyway.
Victor thinks that Logan's morality and humanity are weaknesses. Victor gave into his animalistic side because it gave him more power and it made people fear him. It made him a sharp and unpredictable tool, a wild animal with a loose leash at the top of the food chain. Exactly where he wanted to be.
But Victor doesn't understand that Logan doesn't want that. Giving in completely to becoming an animal means denying yourself the ability to be human. To have human luxuries and emotions and comforts. It's denying the other half of himself. And Victor is fine with that, because he views that half as weak and useless, but Logan isn't.
In the end, Logan's soft side is just as much of a strength as it is a weakness. It lets him be both a human and an animal. It lets him form genuine connections and emotional bonds. It gives him strength and a network of support and a greater purpose. Something to fight for.
Victor only sees this when it's too late. He goads Logan into almost killing him because he wants to prove, once and for all, that his ideals are correct. That Logan was an apex predator like him, that he was just as much of animal, that they were one and the same and there was no denying his roots. He wanted to prove that Logan was like him because he wanted to walk the same path as him. (To have someone who understood him. The only "human" luxury he'd allow.)
But Logan turns him down. He sneers at his way of living and leaves. He rejects him once and for all.
And when Victor reunites with him much, much, later, he sees why. Because had Victor ever been as happy as Logan looked right now? Had he ever allowed himself to be content, to not obsess over his standing or power? Had he ever just let himself be human because at least then he could be happy?
Logan looks at Wade like he's his reason for living, his life partner, the thing he's been looking for his entire life. He looks at Wade like he's his home.
When was the last time Victor felt like he had that?
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joaofelix70 · 1 year ago
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MISS DIPLOMAT & MR. CHARMING |
dominik szoboszlai x female reader.
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author's note: this handsome man's living rent-free in my head. he's a freaking masterpiece. talented, funny, charismatic, attractive. i watched interviews, tiktok videos made by supporters and much more to understand a little bit of his language, personality and what he does towards friends and loved ones. laughed a lot! i made my homework as a writer, hope you enjoy it! (compliments and any kind of retributions are more than welcomed).
summary: your job is involving the commitment of unify the population and create interrelations to another countries, using the eurocup qualifiers and the hungary national team executions. you just didn't expect to fall in love with the no. 10's captain player.
words and characters: 1,811/11,223. it was three days working too hard on this story. i'm begging for your consideration, lol.
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sports diplomacy: it's the unique power of sport to bring people, nations, and communities closer together via a shared love of physical pursuits. this responsibility is the reason of a transition between strangers to connected individuals, advancing foreign policy goals and augmenting sport for development initiatives. the complex landscape where sport, politics, and diplomacy overlap become clearer, as do the pitfalls of using sport as a tool for overcoming and mediating separation between people, nonstate actors, and states. the power of sport has never been more important. so far, the 21st century has been dominated by disintegration, introspection, and the retreat of the nation-state from the globalization agenda. in such an environment, scholars, students, and practitioners of international relations are beginning to rethink how sport might be used to tackle climate change, gender inequality, and the united nations sustainable development goals, for example. to boost these integrative, positive efforts is to focus on the means as well as the ends, that is, the diplomacy, plural networks, and processes involved in the role sport can play in tackling the monumental traditional and human security challenges of our time. credits: international studies association and oxford university press.
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MLSZ (hungarian football federation) ──
new training ground at telki.
"i can't believe that being in places like this made up my most theoretically utopian childhood dreams. what a progress in front of me!" you still witness exciting moments where you pinch yourself, trying to believe in the reality that surrounds you: visiting the new training center of the players who are just a few meters away from you, getting ready to represent an entire country.
"your presence is our privilege. a voice of the spread of eurocup to our nation, right here…" the technical director gives you deference, obtaining a measure of humbleness and respect by you.
"the honor belongs to me in its entirety. grateful for having me, sir. while the view is immersive and captivating — my fervent congratulations to everyone involved — could we retreat from the pleasant glass-enclosed room and see everything closer, on the outside? please? i will never get used to this atmosphere." you pour politeness and charisma to the staffs around you, being directed to the proximity of the field and saluting the employees who pass through your path.
meet dominik — your szobo — instigates the nostalgic combination of detailed moments in which your thoughts display as photographic retrospectives. you're incapable to oppose the little enthusiastic laughs, fidgeting the rings between your fingers and avoiding possible suspicious glances from others. however, for you, this wouldn't actually work. the lives of you both are correlated, but different.
the training session is finished. clapping your hands and celebrating the performances, you greet the athletes and recognize some familiar people. nevertheless, reality slows down after those dark woody eyes capture through your soul. his arms tattoos are glorified by the sun's rays, the same illuminated smile is offered to you: that one you got during the very first time you saw him — instantly knowing he made you testimony the accuracy of freedom, catharsis and emotional amorous complement. that he'd be the one to introduce you what you never experienced, what you thought you'd never receive or deserve. what love truly is. when you were novices in your actual professions, not even imagining the future gifts of your unreal purposes.
"there you are!" intimately, dominik points at you, being reciprocated by vibrant nods and your old sort of secret — not that mysterious or serious — handshake. "még mindig emlékszel rá? (still remembering it?). you're a real one!"
"hogy tudnám elfelejteni? alábecsülsz engem. (how could i forget it? you're underestimating me)". your defensive actions demonstrate purposeful falseness. masking any sensitive, verbal or figurative communicative fragment from him is a difficulty that makes you give in over time. honestly, you never complain about this. it's like he wants to understand the factors and layers of you.
"a te kézfogás fickó. ne merészelj lecserélni engem. (your handshake man… don't you dare to replace me)". a shameless wink is send to you, butterflies acquiring space in your stomach.
"és hivatalosan is a szavamat adom rá. (and you officially have my word on it)." your gloss is pigmented against your fingers while you raise it up, displaying an oath, wondering if szoboszlai comprehends that his replacement in your life would be blasphemous.
"diplomata kisasszony, (miss diplomat)…" the hungarian fingerprints are shared and you recognize the sign to hold them, ready to perform your typical fashion icon moment. "gorgeous as always. go ahead! you know what to do!".
amusement surrounds you with the nickname's citation. although, you could feel some curious glances, from the outsiders, about the intimacy between you and him. "i appreciate, our top-class national bless…" you move your body in rotations to exclaim the outfit's characteristics, lifting your feet to show off the specificities of your heels. "how is your hair so well-groomed after sweating, though?" your arms cross and you raise an eyebrow in questioning, trying to hide your fascination.
"thank you, my number-one fan, but don't change the subject. finish our inside joke, c'mon!" dominik grabs his water bottle and spreads the cooling liquid on his forehead, wiping the glowing droplets across his face as he lifted his jersey high enough to exhibits his fortified abs.
your attention is directed to any surrounding scenery, throat being piked. szoboszlai pretends he doesn't notice, preventing to embarrass you.
"alright, alright! you've won, bájos úr… (mr. charming)". your final comment escapes as, practically, a whisper. you can't control the shy laughter, coupled with the considerable redness invading your cheeks.
"that's the secret to make my day!" using his tongue to reproduce a sharp noise, he matches your humorous reactions. "would you like me to show you the infrastructure changes? i'm just gonna take a shower!"
"i've already been granted a tour around here, but in case you insist…" during the dialogue, some athletes cross your space, wishing them good luck for the competition. your concentration on the activity is significant, at the point that dominik's silent admiration goes unnoticed.
"i mean, you know me! i'm gonna insist anyway, so…" he reaches your captivity, bringing you jollification.
"i'll rate you as a personal tour guide. now, go there!" jesting each other, you both exchange exaggerated reverences, like a challenge of who makes the most chaotic one.
────
walking around the area, various subjects are explored, informations entrusted. you ask and are updated about his ethereal younger sister.
portraits of the generations are framed. you magnifies his presence in celebratory pictures, dedicated to find him in the memories and achievements on that wall. pride shines from you and the hungarian finds it lovely.
"you know i'm a sucker for accents… they're much more than mere verbal characteristics, they're stories: life experiences, marks and scars. identities and cultural integrations." the topic is random. through generalized opinions, you're explaining conceptions and dominik is retaining mental observations. he exalts every scrap of your identity, like a faithful worshiper.
"basically, you're admitting being enchanted by my accent. i can see the stars in your eyes. a win is a win!" szoboszlai and his frequent attribute to physical touch, tickling your ears and playing with them. it doesn't bother you, actually: adoring the affection exuded by you and him. you feel like a little girl dealing with your one and only love.
"it's beautiful, how can you blame me? and hey, i know mine's making you grin too." he holds your arm, shivers running down your spine, the two of you being euphoric in the midst of your own enthusiasm.
"putting me against the wall? okay, hum… what were you saying before?" he's changing the subject and you have a natural wit to boo him. lifting his shoulders as a surrender, the hungarian focuses on the specific loose strands of his simple bracelet, which you get used to help him tie it again, willingly.
"trying to avoid the truth? fine! let me take care of you while i talk about my admiration towards globalization and communication. like, with every fiber of me…" you accept the conversation's direction and utter a 'voilà' towards the accessory's new appearance.
"that's why you're the best person i've ever seen doing this job." dominik compliments you, an act full of honesty.
"thanks a lot, mate. but which job? as your bracelet helper or my real one?" you provide tenderness, looking amused.
"i mean… both of them." szoboszlai chuckles, revealing courtesy by your continuous helpfulness.
"literally? because i know you know a lot of people. you're so young and already is the national team's captain." you nudge him in a form of tease. he's a starboy, it's undeniable.
"flattered! literally, thought. you were born for this, believe me." vulnerability collides to you, as his words are deliberated: emotions embracing you and warming your insides.
"dominik szoboszlai, my dear friend, you're gonna make me cry, right here. i'm sorry, i need to do it…"
innocent satisfaction builds strength over you and executes unthought-of approach to the tangibility of your gratitude — his colony enrapturing your sensitive olfaction — in the most out-of-control way. the sounds reach your hearing: a choir of angels singing hallelujah. he reciprocates the contact, laughing at your juvenile excitement. joining him and doing the same thing, harmonizing the triumph. in the separation of the touch, you both remain close to each other and the hungarian doesn't miss the opportunity to feel the softness of your side face, caressing the skin. appreciation and satisfaction invade your structure, delighting on the palm of his hand.
"just a dear friend? why are we pretending all this time?" dominik's reading you. the intimidation at the sight of him overhanging you is paralyzing. you don't usually back down, but in that instant — superior than your most repressed desires — your gasps are escaped.
"who is putting who against the wall now?" insisting and failing on your witty answers, shyness and uncertainty corrodes you.
"please, look at me! i'm not kidding anymore." his voice is questioning, intrigued — contradictorily vulnerable and calm — your rationality being fragmented, fragile.
"you know i'm not the kind of woman you're surrounding by, domi. i'm not an influencer, bikini model. i'm not a public figure. i don't live for the cameras and gossip platforms. i live to work hard. i didn't achieve any of this with some type of perk. my routine and your routine are based on traveling..." who could deny it? szoboszlai's always been all that you see. it's much more than a mere passion. your attraction to him is magnetic, intense, vivid. consequently, terrifying.
"i'm just asking for a chance, (your nickname). i don't lie when i say i've never met someone like you. i may be surrounded by a crowd and you'll still be the one to steal my attention, because nobody compares to you."
your eyelids are closed and the exhalation of his sigh penetrates your lungs with the numbing breath of life you've never experienced before. it's happening: the rare situation where thinking carefully about the pros and cons is unworthy, dumbness. your decision is made and the privilege's resolution unify your lips. the beginning demonstrates slowness and patience — the intensification through the concluded wait of the longed-for reality, transforming light and magical kisses into open mouths discovering each other and witnessing the endearment that both offer — hairs, necks, shoulders and waists captured.
"you're the first to create a meaningful presence in my mind and heart. i want you to be the last one too. i love you, kincs (my treasure). i'm finally brave enough to demonstrate it with no fears." dominik's forearm covers your upper torso. your back against his chest, noses resting on each others. rejoicing at the miraculous, incomparable circumstance.
"i love you, drágám (my precious). you're finally mine and it was so fucking worth waiting." his whisper: the living proof of celestial existence.
"how blessed we are…" intertwined bodies, coalesced essences. solitary melodies turning into the sweetest and most complete symphony.
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oddfuchsia · 10 months ago
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re: my last post about jaime and alicent being parallels, i got an anon claiming they couldn't be similar because jaime as a man is privileged in ways alicent isn't since westeros is a patriarchy. this fact is correct! however! characters can have shared experiences, internal conflicts and dare i say, even themes, despite the fact that they are in different situations. let me explain why jaime and (show)alicent are similar characters.
rape/sa mentions below the cut
(1) okay so fundamentally jaime's thing is that he views himself as being sworn to so many conflicting ideals that he will never be able to uphold all of them. he is essentially in debt to so many people that anything he does will make him an oathbreaker. i think alicent views herself in a kind of similar way, only its through loyalty rather than oaths. hence that "i have endeavoured to serve both my house and my country etc" line because alicent basically FEELS like she has sworn conflicting oaths to everyone and everything around her - her father, her children, viserys, rhaenyra, the gods, the ideals of house targaryen, the abstract concept of what it means to be a "good woman" in society, and the list goes on, they don't call her Alicent "Where is Duty Where is Sacrifice" Hightower for nothing! both alicent and jaime see themselves trapped in moral paralysis because they are so concerned with what they are or should be loyal to, and as a result they are both constantly being eaten alive by guilt and self-loathing.
(2) both became deeply entrenched with the royal family at young ages whilst simultaneously living under their extremely ambitious hand of the king fathers. both fathers basically do not care who their children turn out to be and are only concerned with them as far as they can aid in his own ambitions. in jaime's case this was lessened by the fact that it was essentially divided between him and cersei, but tywin aggressively only gives a fuck about jaime as being the heir to casterly rock (hence his underlying insistence that jaime will do this despite the fact that he has sworn an eternal oath preventing it) - jaime does everything else to become tywin's lion-of-lannister golden boy but he will still never truly have tywin's love or affection or approval because tywin is incapable of that. otto basically pimped out his teenage daughter to viserys, and then after she spent 20+ years doing whatever he wanted he STILL doesn't respect about her, firstly because shes a woman, and secondly because he doesn't view her as a person, he views her as a political tool. and both of them are intensely loyal to said fathers and compulsively seek the approval which they know (on some level) is never coming.
(3) both of them have extremely complicated relationships with parenthood - alicent because her children are all products of her sexually abusive marriage, because she essentially grew up alongside them, and because they too are viewed as political tools more so than as people. as a result she's pretty emotionally cut off from them (struggling to connect with helaena, the unhealthy dynamic with aemond etc) meanwhile jaime can't ever openly acknowledge his children or act like a father to them and sees them as an extension of his relationship with cersei. alicent's feelings about aegon (and to a lesser extent aemond) are this weird dynamic where she loves him a lot and wants to protect him but is also aware that he's an abusive monster. in asos there's a jaime chapter after joffrey dies where he has this moment of awareness that joffrey is his firstborn son, and he kind of wonders if he should feel anything, but he can't bring himself to, basically because joffrey is also an abusive monster. he kind of awkwardly tried to bond with tommen at one point and seems vaguely fond of myrcella but can't really get himself to properly contemplate his feelings towards them either. for both of them parenthood is so wrapped up in all these other layers of pain and guilt that they struggle to have healthy, loving relationships with any of their kids.
(4) they both use copes - alicent with religion and jaime with dissociation - to essentially avoid engaging with their inner conflicts. jaime started dissociating to avoid having to deal with any of the injustices he saw around him i.e. listening to aerys raping rhaella and deciding he could absolve himself of his bystander guilt by "going away inside". meanwhile alicent uses religion as an outlet for her rage because when she throws herself fully into religion and convinces herself that she hates things because they're sacrilegious she doesn't have to confront her own trauma and anger. like a big part of why she hates rhaenyra's children is because they're physical manifestations of the freedoms rhaenyra has which alicent doesn't, but she's not emotionally equipped to deal with that, so the only option is to really really REALLY convinces herself that they're abominations cursed by the gods and thus she is justified in how she feels.
(5) okay here's where you have to hear me out. i think, narratively, jaime sees cersei's role towards him in a similar way to how alicent views criston. cersei and jaime's relationship is obviously built on the recurring themes of lannister exceptionalism and pseudo-incest within their house, but i also think jaime holds on to cersei as this symbol of pre-kingslayer him. she is his other half so when he knows that he's failed and become a terrible person, he can just hardcore project all his hopes of what he could have been onto her and see her as this paragon of beauty and love and nobility. and because of this he spends a lot of the series wilfully blind to the fact that their codependent relationship has turned them both into extremely violent and unstable people. to a certain extent alicent also projects a lot of her own childhood idealism onto both criston and rhaenyra - rhaenyra is literally her childhood girlfriend companion and i think because she's so emotionally stunted she's still obsessed with their relationship as like, the simplicity and tenderness of childhood before her marriage. hence why she seems so in denial about the fact that the war is about more than just their their relationship - but more so i think her relationship with criston is similar to that of jaime and cersei. (up until recently lol) i think she also saw criston as this white knight tragic courtly love figure because theyre BOTH still obsessed with the ideals of chivalry and knighthood and can reflect it back onto one another, whilst at the same time continuing to practice their own hypocrisy. she is basically (in a very jaime fashion) sticking her fingers in her ears to the fact that criston is deeply unstable and and punches people to death when he gets angry. both cersei and jaime's relationship and alicent and criston's relationship are essentially echo chambers that make them both worse while allowing them to view themselves and each other as idealised figures of the white knight and the noblewoman.
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autismprotocol · 1 year ago
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TMAGP Theory Board ( EP 10)
Hi guys sorry for the late post I ended up drawing a lot for this update especially because it's the last one before the hiatus so wanted to give it a little more pizazz :D
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What Happened in Episode 10: Saturday Night
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Interview with Nigel Dickerson. The inccident report this week was all about Mr Bonzo. If you remember from last episode Nigel is the famous tv personality who created the character of Mr Bonzo. During this interview he recounts the rise and fall of Bonzo while being ominous and on edge the whole time. what I gathered from the interveiw is that Bonzo is either trapping Nigel or Bonzo and Nigel are linked somehow. (when he say "he won't let me leave" and refers to himself as "us") we also learn about the murders that are connected to the Bonzo suit, first by the serial killer Terrance Menki and very recently 3 unsolved murders. Nigel also mentioned that the actors who wore the Bonzo suit would be prone to injuries on set which is also really stange. Could be they were used as Bonzo's victims near his begining
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Gwen meets Mr Bonzo. The other section of the episode dealing with Bonzo is when Gwen goes to Nigel's house on her first assignment as the Externals Liason. So turns out Bonzo is maybe a hitman for the OIAR! Also, big thing Mr Bonzo is atually alive and is introduced with some kind of practice almost resembling a ritual. I heard somone mention they think Bonzo is an avatar of the Stranger and I can definitely see this. I'd love to hear if anyone else has a theory for what entity Bonzo may be connected to.
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The Return of Colin. Colin isn't dead!! Shocking absolutley everyone Colin is still kicking. a few episodes ago he was sent on mental health leave by Lena after his parnoia caused him to mentally snap. Celia sees him while on break and they have a short convorsation. Colin tells Celia that he need to figure out the computers. also big thing Colin is back without the permission of Lena. It will be interesting to see what hes looking for and if he'll continue to sneak behind Lena's back.
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Sam and Alice's Adventures into the Institute. Probaly the biggest development lore-wise was Sams and Alice investigating the ruins of the Magnus Institute. They don't find much (but I'm still am gonna talk about it for awhile) Alice mentions that there were weird carvings in the floor which she later equates to the worms on the ground. If you are a Archives listener hearing about worms in the archives starts seting off all kinds of alarms. This means in this universe the Jane Prentiss attack still happens, which is especcially iteresting because If I'm not mistaken in TMA the worm attack happened spesiffically to mark Jon with the corruption. Was Jon ever part of the institute? or if not Jon there must have been an archivist role in this Magnus Institute that would require Jane to attack it.
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ERROR and the Tape Recorders so far in protocol we have been listening to the characters through either the computers or though their phones. But during the last few minutes we here the click of a tape recorder. and TMA fans around the world rejoiced. The magnus archives is entirley told through tape recordings and are a tool used by the web (spesifically the avatar Annabelle Cane) does this mean Annabelle made it to this universe? or it could also signal the presense of Jon (since the tape recorders are linked to him) Alice and Sam investigate the archivist office looking for a place for the key when the floor collapes and Sam drops the key. After some Sam and Alice banter, they leave but the recorder stays running we then hear the scraping sound and some shutterd breathing. This is when I highly suggest going through the transcript after listening to an episode becuase they specifically what were hearing and who is breathing.
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I included the snippet from the transcript that pinpoints every not verbal sound we hear
water from the pit under the archives is disturbed
thud on wood then a rattle of a padlock
Key being dragged across the wood then fumbled into a lock that clicks open
trapdoor opens and ERROR imerges
ERROR takes 3 breaths
ERROR has been used before for redacting the roles played by Johnny, Alex and Tim (aka the voices of FR3-d1) during the cast anouncements for protocol. This makes me think that ERROR must be someone from the Archives universe my running theory is that it is a entity that houses Jon, Martin and Jonah's souls or consiounous. but It could literally be anyone. I'm also thinking ERROR has been locked in the tunnels under the archives (Mentioned in TMA)
And thats about Everything! plese let me know your thoughts or if you wanna correct me on any mistakes :)
Also I would love to know if you guys would prefer this style of post where I illustrate moments and scenes from each episode? it would probably delay when I'm able to post the breakdowns but I'd love to know if you guys perfer that format over the less illustrated one.
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