#which makes it good but probably not in the intended way
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
thefrenchfryturtle2 ¡ 2 days ago
Text
1. What is you middle name? Don’t have
2. How old are you? MINOR
3. When is your birthday? Somewhere in September
4. What is your zodiac sign? Virgo ♍️
5. What is your favorite color? Gee i wonder…
6. What’s your lucky number? 13 :)
7. Do you have any pets? No :(
8. Where are you from? My mom
9. How tall are you? 5,2”
10. What shoe size are you? 5 and a half
11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 6… okay that sounds like a lot but two of them are really old
12. What was your last dream about? Uh… I think i forgot
13. What talents do you have? I can fold my tongue into clover, wiggle my ears, flare nostrils, and make my eyebrows do a waveeee
14. Are you psychic in any way? Yeah. Sometimes I can read people’s mind and say things at the same time as them. Just ask @yourfavvvintj and @zerukye
15. Favorite song? Count on Me by Bruno Mars, tho Sweet Tooth by Cavetown is a really close second place
16. Favorite movie? Turtle Tale Sammy’s Adventure lol
17. Who would be your ideal partner? @zerukye lol aka my current one
18. Do you want children? NO THANK YOU
19. Do you want a church wedding? BEACH WEDDING!!
20. Are you religious? No
21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Haha yep-
22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? No, I’m a law abiding citizen.
23. Have you ever met any celebrities? Do voice actors count-
24. Baths or showers? Showers
25. What color socks are you wearing? Pink and blue
26. Have you ever been famous? My tag game post has over 200 notes which is more than my average amounts combined.
27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? Yeah, but only in the science department.
28. What type of music do you like? Indie
29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? No, and I don’t intend to-
30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2
31. What position do you usually sleep in? Fetal position or dead positon
32. How big is your house? Medium???
33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Bread and chocolate 😅😅
34. Have you ever fired a gun? Do Nerf guns count?
35. Have you ever tried archery? Yes and I sucked- i want to do it again
36. Favorite clean word? Shoot and dang
37. Favorite swear word? None, I don’t swear
38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? I’m not sure-
39. Do you have any scars? Loads :)
40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? @zerukye
41. Are you a good liar? Nope-
42. Are you a good judge of character? Absolutely
43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? Bottol o wotor???
44. Do you have a strong accent? No
45. What is your favorite accent? British
46. What is your personality type? INFJ-T
47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? Glasses
48. Can you curl your tongue? Yep
49. Are you an innie or an outie? Innie
50. Left or right handed? Right handed
51. Are you scared of spiders? Nope, I want a pet tarantula.
52. Favorite food? RAMEN!
53. Favorite foreign food? RAMEN!
54. Are you a clean or messy person? In the middle….
55. Most used phrased? BRUHHHH
56. Most used word? Bruh
57. How long does it take for you to get ready?
58. Do you have much of an ego? Depends on situation—
59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Bite
60. Do you talk to yourself? In my head
61. Do you sing to yourself? Of course
62. Are you a good singer? Yeah lol
63. Biggest Fear? Needles….
64. Are you a gossip? I’m gossiped about lol.
65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? Titanic haha
66. Do you like long or short hair? Short
67. Can you name all 50 states of America? I’m not even going to try… but yeah probably
68. Favorite school subject? SCIENCE 🧪
69. Extrovert or Introvert? INTROVERT-
70. Have you ever been scuba diving? I want to!!!
71. What makes you nervous? The dark-
72. Are you scared of the dark? Terrified-
73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Of course
74. Are you ticklish? Yes…..
75. Have you ever started a rumor? No.
76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Yeah
77. Have you ever drank underage? Uh. I was eight….. we thought it was “tea”
78. Have you ever done drugs? Do antidepressants count-
79. Who was your first real crush? I’m not saying… @yourfavvvintj already knows-
80. How many piercings do you have? 2. One on each ear
81. Can you roll your Rs? Yes
82. How fast can you type? 100 WPM
83. How fast can you run? Not fast-
84. What color is your hair? Black and green and blue
85. What color is your eyes? Boring brown-
86. What are you allergic to? Nothing!
87. Do you keep a journal? Yeah but I don’t update it often.
88. What do your parents do? Love me
89. Do you like your age? I’m a teen, of course I don’t
90. What makes you angry? My sister-
91. Do you like your own name? I would change it to Turtle but that’s weirder than a white girl name.
92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? Zelda and Link for my future cats.
93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? I don’t want children so I don’t really care
94. What are you strengths? Singing, creative writing, science, doing two pull up.
95. What are your weaknesses? Running a mile, literary interpretations, balloons…
96. How did you get your name? My parents named me after a president because they want me to be a good leader.
97. Were your ancestors royalty? I don’t think so.
98. Do you have any scars? Yes 👍
99. Color of your bedspread? Navy blue
100. Color of your room? Boring gray
Get To Know Me Uncomfortably Well
PLEASE DON’T LET THIS FLOP AHHHH
1. What is you middle name? 2. How old are you? 3. When is your birthday? 4. What is your zodiac sign? 5. What is your favorite color? 6. What’s your lucky number? 7. Do you have any pets? 8. Where are you from? 9. How tall are you? 10. What shoe size are you? 11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 12. What was your last dream about? 13. What talents do you have? 14. Are you psychic in any way? 15. Favorite song? 16. Favorite movie? 17. Who would be your ideal partner? 18. Do you want children? 19. Do you want a church wedding? 20. Are you religious? 21. Have you ever been to the hospital? 22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? 23. Have you ever met any celebrities? 24. Baths or showers? 25. What color socks are you wearing? 26. Have you ever been famous? 27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? 28. What type of music do you like? 29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 31. What position do you usually sleep in? 32. How big is your house? 33. What do you typically have for breakfast? 34. Have you ever fired a gun? 35. Have you ever tried archery? 36. Favorite clean word? 37. Favorite swear word? 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 39. Do you have any scars? 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? 41. Are you a good liar? 42. Are you a good judge of character? 43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? 44. Do you have a strong accent? 45. What is your favorite accent? 46. What is your personality type? 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? 48. Can you curl your tongue? 49. Are you an innie or an outie? 50. Left or right handed? 51. Are you scared of spiders? 52. Favorite food? 53. Favorite foreign food? 54. Are you a clean or messy person? 55. Most used phrased? 56. Most used word? 57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 58. Do you have much of an ego? 59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? 60. Do you talk to yourself? 61. Do you sing to yourself? 62. Are you a good singer? 63. Biggest Fear? 64. Are you a gossip? 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? 66. Do you like long or short hair? 67. Can you name all 50 states of America? 68. Favorite school subject? 69. Extrovert or Introvert? 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? 71. What makes you nervous? 72. Are you scared of the dark? 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? 74. Are you ticklish? 75. Have you ever started a rumor? 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? 77. Have you ever drank underage? 78. Have you ever done drugs? 79. Who was your first real crush? 80. How many piercings do you have? 81. Can you roll your Rs?“ 82. How fast can you type? 83. How fast can you run? 84. What color is your hair? 85. What color is your eyes? 86. What are you allergic to? 87. Do you keep a journal? 88. What do your parents do? 89. Do you like your age? 90. What makes you angry? 91. Do you like your own name? 92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? 93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? 94. What are you strengths? 95. What are your weaknesses? 96. How did you get your name? 97. Were your ancestors royalty? 98. Do you have any scars? 99. Color of your bedspread? 100. Color of your room?
134K notes ¡ View notes
lightlycareless ¡ 3 days ago
Text
the jealous y/n i promised. one of them, anyways :)
warnings: naoya used to like someone before you. the thought of it makes you... uncomfortable, by some reason. highschool au. minimal proofreading but sometimes you just gotta let things go...
Tumblr media
It all started because someone decided they just had to mess with you on your first trip to Kyoto, during your first school exchange event.
As yearly intended, the game would be hosted on the winning school; not that someone managed to defeat Gojo and Geto, but to shake things a bit the higher ups decided to break the rules and give the opposing school a chance—maybe fighting in their hometowns would help against them.
Coincidentally, this would mark your first time participating, and what better way to do so than by going to a city you’ve never been to?
We’re you excited?
Undoubtedly. How could you not consider these past details?
However, that wasn’t the only (not the most important) notion that had you feeling such way; what actually got you all giddy was the fact that you’d be going with your boyfriend! Which secretly turned this school trip into a small holiday of sorts, a promise of a good time once he offered to take you to the city and show you all kinds of enthralling experiences you wouldn’t be able to find anywhere else.
It was bound to become a memorable visit, one that you wouldn’t be able to forget, worthy enough to share with your eventual children!
And it was… but not for the reasons you expected.
“Ooooh, you know what this trip actually means, right Y/N?” Gojo would begin to stir, as usual. You do your best to ignore him. “You can ignore me all you want, but I’m just warning you, it’s going to be awkward.”
“Awkward?” You blink, taking his bait. “What do you mean?”
“Don’t say it, Satoru…” Geto warns, going against his very nature, which is to rile him further, and instead, showing genuine caution that you’d come to lament later on. “You’re just being cruel.”
“What is? Tell me!” You cry, fallen victim to your curiosity.
“Probably not as cruel as Naoya taking his girlfriend to see his crush. Or past crush, I guess.”
“Crush…?” You blink, your heart dropping to your stomach at the thought of his affections once belonging to someone else. It shouldn’t be that way, of course. Whatever happened before you met him should be beyond your concern.
And yet, you couldn’t stop yourself from torturing yourself with the thought, needlessly wondering who was the lucky girl to previously obtain his attention.
Was she nice? Was she pretty? Did anything manage to happen between the two…?
…
…
Does she look like you?
You ought to know better than to ask questions you do not want answered.
“Naoya hasn’t told you?” Satoru worried. “He used to have this huge crush on Utahime, like you don’t imagine how big it was; he’d stalk her everywhere she went, turn all red whenever she was near—“
“Satoru!” Suguru condemned, but it was too late.
It’s safe to say you no longer looked forward to your trip to Kyoto.
“She was going to learn so anyways, might as well get it over with!”
“And?? That doesn’t give you permission to be an idiot about it!”
“I’m just preparing Y/N! It’s not my fault that Naoya hasn’t told her about it… which is quite suspicious if you ask me, more so since he’s been in contact with her quite recently! Did you know he asked me for her number? I think he might not be over—“
“Do you ever shut up, Satoru?” You coldly interject, retreating soon after before the tears forming in your eyes could further humiliate you.
Suguru was right, there was no need for him to be as imprudent when it came to the relationship you were clearly very happy with; but you should’ve not let his behavior affect you either, that’s just how he is—everyone knew that—since he was a little kid.
Satoru just had this need to make everyone miserable simply because he could; but now that your insecurities were stirred, all you could do was revisit Naoya’s enthusiasm for your visit… and tie it with Utahime.
Overanalyze every interaction you had with him and wonder if he ever imagined it was her instead of you.
Like when he complimented you for appearance, called you cute when decorating your hair with a bow, which after Satoru’s bold accusations, you come to find it might’ve been because of nostalgia, longing. Not because Naoya actually meant it.
Utahime’s beautiful, there's no denying that.
She's also taller than you, brighter, determined; with no patience for nonsense yet kind enough to help others when asked. You should know, on the few occasions you’ve had the opportunity to interact with her, she was nothing but gentle when explaining one of the assignments you were struggling with—even offering to tutor you if you continued to have questions.
Undoubtedly, a perfect match for Naoya; both politically and personally. A conclusion that makes your poor heart ache the longer you keep comparing yourself to her.
No one looks at her and thinks “she's too childish” or “she's unsuited for the life of sorcery”. In fact, she’s the type of person one would go to when in trouble, the one to look for when in need of comfort.
While you… well, you’re funny. And apparently, a bit childish too. But definitely not the hope for the next generation of sorcerers.
When weighing all these alleged facts, and after placing Utahime on a pedestal while desecrating your own worth, you question…
Did Naoya settle on you because he couldn't end up with her?
Or were you simply a steppingstone, a diversion while they reunite in the future?
…
…
…
Are you fated to never be good enough by yourself? Everyone’s second choice when their initial plan doesn’t work?
It's not something you'd discern at a simple glance, but when Naoya begins to act more and more secretive the closer the date of your trip got, the more you're inclined to believe so; his distance had been so glaringly obvious that the only time you’ve managed to spend with him was when accidentally bumping into each other in the hallways when going to your next class.
Still, your stubborn heart gave him one last chance. One more opportunity to deny all the ridiculous claims plaguing your mind and realize that the sole reason he’s glued to his phone is because of his family, tending his responsibilities as heir…
And not because he’s seeking another woman.
“Ah, Y/N… I'm a little behind with some of my projects right now so I don't think I'll be able to join you for lunch… but don’t let that stop you, go ahead, eat something. I wouldn't want my princess to starve because of me”
That’s when everything made sense.
Because Naoya, though he may hate paperwork, essays, and all that deviated from exorcizing curses, he was still an excellent student and always delivered on time. Might’ve coerced someone to do his work from time to time when not in the mood, but it still brought you back to the same conclusion.
A realization that sparked your anger, bitterness—jealousy.
But most importantly, sadness.
Which you could no longer hide the fateful day of your trip.
“Wait, Y/N—! Why are you in such a rush? We’re still on time for the train!” Naoya would say after catching up to you. The two had previously agreed to meet up just outside your dorm and go to the train station together from there; but alas, you were nowhere to be seen when he eventually arrived, and this caused him to be very surprised.
After all, you were virtually inseparable from him; you would’ve spent the night with him if only it wasn’t prohibited. So… why the sudden indifference?
One could only try to be compassionate when remembering this was his first, serious relationship, so there were many things he had yet to learn about having a girlfriend and how to treat her.
It’s just a misfortune he’d come to learn that lesson harshly so.
“I'm fine, thank you.” you frown, ignoring Naoya as you continue to pull your suitcase towards the exit. The faculty gave students two options, either take the provided transportation and ride with the rest of your classmates to the train station or go by yourself.
Solitude was only appetizing with the silent turmoil you carried.
Your boyfriend doesn't say much after that, though he does note the striking difference of your usually bubbly personality with this… muted version of his girlfriend.
When you once harbored excitement to travel to a completely new city, you now… well, it looked as if you'd rather get sick than do this. And it didn’t seem to be caused by anxiety either, he’d seen you nervous and this was not the way you behaved when such.
Not exactly the disposition he hoped for today's happening, and yet, he’s still light years away from figuring why!
Was it better to simply… leave you alone?
“Y/N, let me help you.” he decides otherwise, at least your stubbornness is something he’s familiar with and thus, not easily swayed to back off when you ignore him again. “Princess—”
“Don’t touch me!” You exclaim, pulling your hand away from his. “I said I'm fine, now leave me alone!”
Naoya blinks, at first startled by your sudden outburst, before growing irritated, never one to enjoy being lashed out on—less if it came from someone as important as you.
“What the hell has gotten into you?!’ Naoya scorns, trying to get a hold of your hand only for you to dismiss him again. “I'm just trying to help you!”
“Yeah, right. Just to get there quicker, huh?” you frown.
“I mean, is that not ideal?”
“You're unbelievable.”
“Huh??? Will you at least care to explain why you’re so moody out of the sudden??”
His choice of dismissing words stabs your heart in a sharp, painful way that only serves to ignite your anger even more. Naoya really had no idea, did he?
Or did he believe you were as naĂŻve as he desperately intended to portray you?
“Oh, it’s nothing. Nothing at all! In fact, how about I just step aside so you can do everything you want in Kyoto? Go see who you want to see while I stay behind, quiet, so you won't have to worry about me?!”
“But—what?? Did you forget were supposed to spend time together over there?? Show you the city?!” Naoya exclaims. “What happens to that??”
“I don't know, you tell me!” You cry back. “No, you know what, don't tell me. I don't feel like hearing—”
“Oh, no you're not.” Naoya says, take ahold of your arm and forcing you to see him face to face—getting a good look of your red, swollen eyes from undoubtedly spending the whole night crying, that only made his determination to find out what ailed you even stronger.
And deal with whomever was responsible for this dreadful act.
Even if it was yourself, or unwittingly himself too.
“We're going to spend two hours on a bullet train which I don't intend to have by you ignoring me through the entirety of it.” He goes on.
“Naoya—”
“Who did this to you? Tell me who hurt you and I'll make sure they—”
“Just stop it already! You don't have to set up all these… theatrics just so you can feel less guilty about seeing her!”
“Her?” He breathes, of all things you could’ve sputtered, this is the least, most shocking one he could’ve received. Where did you even get this idea?? “Pray tell, who am I seeing?”
“I don't—I don't want to talk anymore.”
“Y/N!” Naoya exclaims, you flinch—a reaction that has him immediately regretting his act, softening his voice. “I can't help but feel there's a sort of misunderstanding here, just tell me what's going on… Please.”
“...I just want to know if you— if you still harbor feelings for that person before me?”
“Huh?” Naoya frowns. “Talk clearly, mochi. I don't understand a word you're saying—”
“I'm asking if you still like the girl you liked before me!” You cry. “Or perhaps never stopped liking…”
“Who did I like?” He asks back, genuinely confused.
“Are you going to make me say it?!”
“I mean, if we're to get anywhere.”
“Fine! I’m referring to Utahime! You like her, don't you?!”
“Uta—what?? Where did you get that idea?!”
“Don't—don’t act like you don't know what I'm talking about!” You insist. “Satoru told me…”
“Ah, and he's nothing but a reliable source, isn't he?”
“Suguru confirmed it too! Or at least his reaction did…”
Naoya pinches the bridge of his noise, exasperated.
“When are you going to stop believing the stupidities they spew at you?”
“Well, Satoru had no reason to lie about that!”
Naoya can think of many, thousands in fact, and they always boil down to malice…
It's hard to believe how he once used to admire him, even thought of himself as very similar to him. But now that he keeps needlessly tormenting his love, that sentiment is far gone—he’ll deal with that matter soon enough, right after reassuring you he doesn’t have feelings for his past classmate.
Not anymore, that is.
“... Just tell me if you still like her, so I can stay out of your way—”
“I don't like her, Y/N.” Naoya declares. “Honestly, I don't think I ever did.”
“Then why did he say that?”
All must’ve started back when he was still a first-year student, having just transferred from Kyoto after demanding to be close to one of his admirations.
Satoru, always the obnoxious one since the beginning of time, had the tradition of pestering all newcomers in hopes of finding a victim to let out all his frustrations on for the following years; however, his sights were specifically the Zen'in heir whom he was previously acquainted with and was quite surprised to see “interacting with the mortals”, since their families often preferred to homeschool their talents.
Of course, now that he was within reach, he just couldn't miss the opportunity of mocking him in any conceivable shape and form, beginning with questions intended to get a rise out of him.
“Are you trying to tell me you don’t like any of the girls here?” Satoru would begin, for the nth time that day. “Or perhaps left a darling back at home?”
“No, I do not” No matter the insistences, Naoya remained strong in his beliefs, much to Satoru’s disappointment. But if anything, this made it into a far more gratifying challenge.
“Oh, really? Do you expect me to believe the great Zen’in heir has trouble getting with girls?” He continues to tease. “Hm, should’ve known—the only way anyone could tolerate you people is by coercing—"
“Fine! Alright! I like Utahime!” Naoya promptly declared, making Satoru’s expectations… well, shatter. Whatever he had in mind was nothing compared with the seeming reality!
“No way, you like her???!!”
Obviously, for someone as aggravating, set to get the worst of people, he could never truly find enjoyment in Utahime that wasn’t from tormenting her.
But to Naoya… well, he’d soon find out there was more to his answer than just selecting the one he found attractive at the moment.
Just as it was stated, he found Utahime to be quite… alluring. She was fairly good looking, and conservative enough in certain aspects, at least the ones he considered his clan would care of.
Perhaps the only thing he didn’t enjoy was that explosive temperament of hers, how she always fell victim to Satoru’s provocations instead of ignoring him, as a proper lady would’ve.
But he still gave her a chance, tried approaching her, get to know what she thought of him, how much he knew of the Zen’in clan, and most importantly, if she enjoyed being a miko—because such lifestyle could prove detrimental if they got together, and the last thing he needed was more personal struggles to deal with.
Yet, as much as he insisted…as much as Utahime tried to ignore his preceding reputation and give him the benefit of the doubt, nothing would come out from someone that didn’t have the patience to see past of his rough exterior and understand why Naoya was the way he was.
Who he could truly be.
Such things were meant for soulmates, after all.
And all that could’ve been was effectively terminated the moment he decided to transfer to Tokyo.
But for the only other person who saw everything unfold, Satoru, there was still much, much more to exploit.
“...Satoru said you’d always get all flustered whenever she was around” you quietly continue. “So, if you really didn’t like her, why would he say that?”
“Because he'd follow me everywhere to tease me, it was becoming quite… irritating.” He answered honestly, but still not enough to ease your poor heart of its selfish, hurtful assumptions.
“It still doesn't explain why you were talking with her these past few days” you go on, as much as a part of you desired not to.  You just wish that whatever you found out, it wouldn't shatter you. “You’d even hide your phone from me…”
Naoya, understanding how bad this looked, sighs. Nonetheless, if he wishes to preserve your affection he cannot hold back on the truth.
“I… I didn't want to tell you, it was meant to be a surprise, really…  but, well, I managed to figure out where the exchange event is to happen, which is coincidentally, an area to which Utahime is native to. And since I promised to show you around, take you to the best places…. I thought it might've been productive to ask for her input.
I know I pride myself on being from Kyoto, quite arrogantly so, but the truth is… I barely know anything outside what my family has shown me. I wasn't much of a friendly person so I didn't have anywhere to hang out.
And I didn't want to disappoint you, I couldn't let you down, especially after instantly listening to your excitement. The thought alone of ruining your first trip to the city is enough to drive me mad, so… I believed that doing all this was the right path to take.
… But had I known this would be the outcome, I would rather face your disappointment that to never have you by my side again.”
At his explanation, conformed of genuine words and concerns, all you could do is cry.
Weep at the incredulity of your assumptions, ashamed of your distrustful behavior towards him for once again, believing the past that once plagued Naoya.
How long would it take for your insecurities to finally free you? To stop listening what others whisper at your ear, of how he was the wrong person for you?
Until he decides he’s had enough of your childish antics and leaves for good?
Naoya’s far from perfect, undoubtedly so, but he's trying his hardest and he's changing because of it: when he once cared for nothing but his needs, all he could think of now is your happiness.
Were you willing to disappoint him? Rupture this relationship and lose him forever?
You'd never forgive yourself, which is why you wept, and wept, and wept.
Because you had, right before you, the only thing you ever wanted in life— a man that loved you just as you are—and almost ruined it.
But Naoya, whom perhaps regretted this situation the most, didn’t see the reason behind your tears and instead, believed them to be caused by his own failure, the lack of oversight to realize the gravity of his acts and subsequently poorly attempting to bridge his misjudgment.
A part of him doesn’t worry about your solitude, because he knows you’ll always have your friends and family to support you.
But him… without you, he’s truly alone. And he can’t—couldn’t let you go.
 “Tell me, Y/N. What do I need to do for you to believe me? For you to trust me again?” he quickly begins to beg, spew just about anything that might earn him your compassion and forgiveness—one last chance.
Though a simple remedy was all that he needed.
“A—A—hug…!” You sob, and Naoya doesn’t need to be told twice to quickly wrap his arms around you and pull you close into his chest, hoping that by his warmth you’d be reassured into ceasing the one thing that always shattered his heart. “I’m—I’m sorry, I should’ve never distrusted you, it’s just that I—”
“You don’t have to say anything, princess. It was just a mistake.” He says, pressing his face against the top of your head.
“But I shouldn’t have treated you the way I did!” you retort. “I shouldn’t have accused you of something that I wasn’t certain of! Of something you would’ve never done, now I know…”
“Why did you believe that I’d have eyes for another woman in the first place…? Have I not shown you what you mean to me?”
“Ye—yes, but…”
“But?”
You sniffle, before swallowing.
“I guess a part of me always felt undeserving of you.” You confess. “Skeptical to believe I found someone that truly loved me, that’d be willing to do all you’ve done for me.”
Naoya at first remains quiet, starting at you in complete disbelief before letting out a warm chuckle, making you frown.
“What’s funny?”
“Nothing, I just… learned we’re not so different, after all.”
You look up to him. “What do you mean?”
“I too, at times, feel underserving of you.” He confesses. “You don’t know how many times I’ve feared the possibility of you simply… deciding you were no longer happy with me; that you might realize there is someone infinitely better than me and leave.”
A certain friend of yours made sure to revive such sentiment within him whenever nearby.
But just as him, you never had eyes for anyone else that wasn’t the love of your life.
“…I guess that’s another way to know we’re meant for each other.” You quietly discern, resting your face back into his chest while Naoya laughs once more. “Does that mean you’re not… upset with me anymore?”
“Upset? If anything, I was quite delighted to see you jealous; you’re quite cute when you are, you know?” He teases, gently pinching your cheek.
“I wasn’t jealous!” You cry, he raises an eyebrow. “I mean… not without reason.”
“Have I not told you already that you are the most beautiful, adorable, gentlest woman in the whole world?” Naoya continues, you turn bright red.
“Now you’re just embarrassing me!” you gasp, pushing your face deeper into his chest.
“The list is honestly endless, but we do have a train to catch.” He reminds you, making your eyes widen and gasp.
“Oh, my god you’re right! We have to hurry!” you say, ready to fetch your suitcase, before bashfully looking back to him. “…Are you still sitting with me?”
“Unless you’re saving it for a random person.” He raises an eyebrow.
“Nope, and I do not want to run the risk of being paired with a weirdo!”  you exclaim. “You have a lot to catch up with me, anyways.”
“I know.” Naoya responds. “Though I doubt talking about preparations and schoolwork will be any exciting.”
“I was thinking something a bit more… personal. Like kisses.” You murmur, and he smirks before leaning down to peck your lips, heart fluttering in return.
“Is that a good way to start?”
You smile, standing on your tiptoes to kiss him back.
“Perfect.”
Your trip to Kyoto proves to be just as exciting as you expected, if not more thanks to all his precedent planning, that you simply couldn’t wait for the day you’d come again.
Thankfully, you’d have plenty of time to do so once convincing Naoya to take you to visit the Zen’in… much to his chagrin. But anything to make you happy, he supposes.
Tumblr media
yes i love setting up more stories should I be blamed? NO. ahahaha
anyways, I hoped you enjoyed it 🙈 I couldn't (nor wouldn't) write anything that might be interpreted as slander against utahime cause i don't feel that way about her (though I feel incredibly disappointed that we didn't get to see more of her 😒😒😒😒) but also I couldn't write her in such way that would make one ask "well, if she was so good for naoya then why is he with y/n? lol"
yet I hope I was able to show how immature/selfish he was with her 🤣 asking questions like "I wonder if she's heard of my clan" instead of trying to genuinely get to know her and such. it's the power of love y'all.......................................
aaaah what i mean to say is, I hope you enjoyed this :') i think it's the first time I ever write Naoya taking interest in someone else, even though it was in the past 🤔 still...
take care and hope to see y'all soon!!
p.s. what do y'all think utahime's reaction was to naoya dating y/n? I have a few ideas but have yet to choose one lol.
85 notes ¡ View notes
muzzable ¡ 2 days ago
Text
I actually found Sandpaw pretty interesting in Fire and Ice because thinking about it, I feel like her bullying Firepaw is what led her to be in a place where she could develop feelings for him. Which sounds weird, but hear me out:
In the book, Fireheart is pretty dismayed when he brings Cloudkit to ThunderClan and hears people talking bad about kittypets again. He thought that he had proved being born a kittypet didn't make a cat any less capable than being Clanborn, and I don't think he really understands why they like him but don't intend on welcoming Cloudkit. My thinking is that it's because ThunderClan hadn't actually dealt with their opinions on kittypets yet.
When Firepaw comes to the Clan, it's as a whole prejudiced against kittypets. And there's no denying that he does over time gain their respect as a warrior, and other than a few outliers they accept him as a member of ThunderClan. But I think that in order to do this, most of them just ignored his background. Probably subconsciously, but I imagine if asked about it they'd have said "Sure he was a kittypet once, but he's one of the good ones." They look at Fireheart and see a fine warrior, but surely any other kittypet couldn't do what he does; he's different. Out of sight, out of mind; just don't think about it; nobody likes the thought of a kittypet in camp.
So when he brings in Cloudkit, they object, because they haven't actually dealt with their views on kittypets. They've made a mental separation between 'Fireheart' and 'kittypet', so anything good he does improves their opinion of him personally, but not their opinion of kittypet potential.
But Sandpaw, on the other hand, refused to let him stop being a kittypet from the moment they met. She'd constantly mock him for it, and by basing all of her interactions with him on it, I feel like she was actually keeping it in the front of her mind. She never broke the association between 'Fireheart' and 'kittypet'. So I think it meant more to her when Fireheart saved her from falling in the gorge. For any other warrior it would probably be "Of course Fireheart saved a fellow cat; he's a nice guy and a dedicated ThunderClan warrior." But for Sandpaw it's "Oh wow, this guy who used to have everything handed to him in a cozy house sacrificed that for a life of constantly fighting to survive, and trained so much that he's now capable in a fight and strong enough to lift another cat from the edge, and risked himself to save me even though I've been making fun of him for that past. That's impressive both from a physical standpoint but on an emotional level." So now not only would she be seeing him personally in a new light, realizing how genuinely kind he is, but also seeing that yeah, a kittypet really is just as capable of being a warrior.
And she carries that with her so she's not just willing to accept Cloudkit in the Clan, but is actually insisting that of course he'll make a good warrior. In fact, she says he'll be able to stay out longer in the cold due to his long, thick fur–which is something that (we're told anyway) is a kittypet trait, so it's being put down by everyone else. Not only does she go from hating Fireheart for being a kittypet to loving him, but she's also one of the few characters at that point to start looking at kittypets as having equal potential as well as their own advantages.
And it makes her very interesting to read scenes with, since that character development is seen through someone else's point of view. It would be one thing for her to realize she shouldn't bully him and simply stop hurling insults his way (which is how things start after he saves her), but she starts going out of her way to spend time with him, talk him through his troubles, be there for him to lean on. And that gives him room to seek her out and support her in return.
21 notes ¡ View notes
bitegore ¡ 1 day ago
Text
:D
I really like all of this, especially how much of a focus it sounds like you have on replayability!! What with so many endings and so much that can be discovered on reruns. However, it all feels really trapped as a game itself? Which I love. It allows players to learn just about everything there is about the murders (which I think the scenarios mechanic is esp good at reinforcing this), but that's most of what a player can ever get from the sounds of it. Try as they might, play over and over again and again, the satisfaction of uncovering everything about Erica and Haven will be just out of reach. And that adds to the helplessness!! In a way, it feels like a reminder that this is a game contained to a plot, but the antagonists are so much further beyond it. They're so much more than the plot, and therefore, they're so much more than both the player and their experience.
i really like how you put this! Which is funny, though, because I do intend to have, like, an extra-secret-you're-not-really-supposed-to-do-that bonus "win condition" if, specifically, you kill Haven/tutorial guy and then kill Erica (because after doing that, the game will continue on as normal for three game 'days' and then people will be like hey what happened to that guy whose farm you bought. where'd he go. and then erica will come Get you.
But I can't decide if that should mean everything continues as normal infinitely (which would mean I run out of material) or like, if then you should get a different system-shock - that without Erica and Haven pulling strings, this situation is hideously untenable, because the bad-guy you're supposed to be playing economic wargames against is getting all of his money from investing abroad, and you are running a farm.
Also maybe when i run out of material I'll j;ust write "in the future..." style endings for every main romance and call it quits there, LOL. Like i do want it to be rewarding at that point theoretically, even if the point is to pull the rug out from under the player LOL
Oh!!! And it's a really nice touch to have the route where you help Erica murder and the one where you don't both have the same ending of getting framed. Considering how many tries it would probably take a player to get the 'murder with Erica' route, and that they would probably get the other framed ending in that time, it would feel like a horrific punch in the gut to do everything right, go back to the farm, and then proceed to get a very familiar not-quite-cutscene!! Absolutely miserable sounding to play, very smart.
YESSSSSS... yessssssss you get it :D I even have a bit in my notes for like, prelim/planning dialogue that deals with this, too, because it's the only thing that changes if you take the accomplice run (w/ placeholder pronouns):
ERICA: Let's leave them alive. THE REDHEADED MAN: Oh, really? ERICA: Yeah. ERICA: Who's going to believe them if they about us? THE REDHEADED MAN: Ha! True. ERICA: And when they come to find out why everyone's dead... if you fought her: ERICA: ...well, it's not like they were any help. if you were an accomplice: ERICA: ...hell, they killed half of them off themself!
No concern or anything. She just didn't kill you and keeps not killing you, that's the best you're getting. Evil foxgirl </3 she doesn't love you after all </3
What is just as much of a punch, but less miserable, is how Erica's ranged attack for a stalling player and Haven's complimentary dialogue are basically the same thing? At least that's how I view them. Both would horrifically catch a player off guard, and they feel almost as if they're taunting the player for not paying sufficient attention?
Absolutely. I want especially Haven's lines to all be kind of like... something that makes you raise your eyebrows, every time he says anything. Like of the game, I want the tone - at least until mid-game - to be... maybe not, like, saccharine but like edging into that like "cozy fantasy" space where people are nice and even when they don't like you they're not, like, mean about it?
And then the first thing Haven says when he's not like briskly explaining what a plant is is, like... you're chatting up the baker's wife (who is cheating on her husband with you in her romance because i think it's fun that way) and he's like. [looks up from where he's standing by the wall] "Her husband definitely knows she's fucking around behind his back, but he still gets mad every time he hears about it? What a loser. He should just watch and jerk off like the rest of us" or something like. Abruptly weirdly crass for a guy who isn't allegedly one of the Crass Asshole NPCs, genuinely judgemental and mean, and like... just visibly operating on a slightly different logic that is not so nice as everyone else is.
And Erica kicking rocks at you is just me punishing cowardice rather than not paying attention. But it IS because she loves needling people, you're right, it is some needling-type behavior. The kind of combat system I want to do, though, if you go AFK around Erica she just kills you. Not turnbased. You can't hold still without having her Get you.
but as for the dialogue, it makes me imagine that the easiest way to stumble upon it would be afk-ing around Erica- as she sounds unlikable enough that I have a hard time imagining someone wanting to spend enough time with her to get that line/lines (at least not on a first run).
I'm assuming this is about the like, murder route dialogue? In which case - I do actually have a lot of thoughts about the reasons why you'd want to talk to specifically either Erica or her brother, given they're supposed to be your enemies. Both of them give you "trade secrets", which are like mechanically important for the farming part, and the more friendly you are with them, the more they're going to give you - but the brother is more loyal to his family, so he has to be at a certain level of "liking you", whereas Erica will tell you all sorts of things even if you barely know her. Also all of this is late-game dialogue - which is after she's dropped her nice-person act and is during, like, cutscenes with story importance. Before that, she's... well, I wouldn't say she's that interesting, but she ideally would have some charm points and come off nice, which is why peppering some of that stuff in would (I think) be less odd than it might sound in description alone.
As a side note, do you have any place or tag to find out more about your characters? I see your art of them frequently and really enjoy it, and this has only piqued my curiosity more. :]
I'm working on being a little less precious about my lore! I wrote up a post here (it's a lore primer i originally wrote for my subscribestar) that covers the basics and the "plot" these two and one other, later character who is also involved in, actually have going on - but at the moment most of it is on my subscribestar. which costs money. like i will absolutely link it still but it costs money. I guess i've also tagged a bunch of posts with them and tag commentary, but that's not a great way to actually Get It so much as to get, like, a baffling baffling baffling picture of some bizarre as hell characters.
one day i'll finish writing a single story with these people and then i'll be able to share stuff for realsies :3
Tumblr media
Stardew Valley-inspired Erica animation, drawn sometime in January while I was sick as a dog. This took ages, and all because I wanted to animate the bloodstains moving properly. The framerate isn't even quite right lol.
46 notes ¡ View notes
chrisrin ¡ 2 years ago
Note
Is there a thought process behibd which gentrolls have horns and which don't?
i gave it to the ones that i thought needed it to complement the design, or where it felt really significant to have them included! or if i could fit it in there without it being too disruptive to the rest of the vibe.
so like, for eridan and kanaya as pearls I think it would've been a bit off on them, but for someone like vriska where aquamarine already had the little ribbon-bits, it was easy to shape that into her horns!
38 notes ¡ View notes
hopecomesbacktolife ¡ 2 months ago
Text
classical music rant ahead~
I’m not gonna reblog the post itself because people can’t be normal in the notes* but oh my god that “if it sounds like X, it’s Y composer” post is the most infuriatingly, wildly inaccurate thing. “mansplaining” for Wagner?!? REALLY?!? Saying Bach sounds “like a vampire” what does that even meANNNN. don’t get me started on the Beethoven (!!) and Shostakovich ones or I will turn into an incoherent seething mess. it’s worse than just being inaccurate even, it’s insulting to their music and range how inaccurate that user’s descriptions are.
like. there’s so many ways to make FUNNY posts about classical music!!! throwback to my prof bringing in shot glasses and grape juice when we covered Tristan and Isolde! Throwback to my cinnaminim meme!! Throwback to the [redacted] symphony members MEME GROUP where we EXCLUSIVELY SHARED CLASSICAL MUSIC MEMES. throwback to my Bach shirt with CHICKENS ON IT. Composer memes. Symphony memes. Translation memes. Oboi. drunk sugar plum fairy. old twoset skits. like.
I just. keep classical music accessible, yes. criticize it, yes! love it, yes! meme on it, yes!! remix it in sillygoofy ways! yes! Be silly and unserious or serious and yearning about it! Or both/all/more all at once! by all means!!! just. don’t make a joke that’s unfunny because it’s wildly inaccurate, then get mad at me for not laughing. 😐 like. lemme just call you the scarecrow because of this wild strawman fallacy logic you’re exhibiting.
*apparently some tumblr users can’t understand the concept of “this joke isn’t funny and it’s probably because the ‘joke’ isn’t really very accurate to the subject matter itself” because any time someone in the notes says that, people accuse them of being “elitist about classical music” like bro what. that is just. false equivalence. saying a joke isn’t funny because it’s inaccurate isn’t elitism it’s just the truth
#personal#what a stupid thing to get so incensed about at 10pm on a Friday night but good lord#I’m sorry but if someone saying ‘I don’t get the joke it’s not funny because it’s inaccurate’ makes you immediately jump to calling them an#elitist and accusing them of being gatekeeping?? uh. bro… are you like. okay. like#actually maybe go listen to some new world symphony second movement or Mahler 5 second movement and you’ll calm down#<- referencing the ‘maybe you’ll calm down’ meme#I know I’m biased but. seriously what the fuck#there’s so many legitimately funny things to say and meme on abt the classical music world why make an unfunny joke and then get mad when i#don’t laugh 😐😐#then again what do I know I only have a multihundredthousanddollar piece of paper saying I’m good at this or something#<- which BY THE WAY. HEY. is not a requirement for enjoying classical music so DONT @ ME. I mention that only to say I am externally peer r#viewed certified as knowing of what I speak. ok. ok? got it? we cool?#yes. you need absolutely 0 credentials to enjoy classical music. you need exactly 0 credentials to be knowledgeable about classical music.#you do not need to even be the tiniest knowledgeable about classical music to enjoy classical music. all of this is true.#I mention my expensive piece of paper solely to say. maybe if credentialed people don’t find the joke accurate or funny it’s just.. not 😐#<- if EVEN credentialed people but somehow my word ‘even’ got deleted. anyways#anyways. this probably matters to 1.5 people but it got me incensed#if you’re going to clown on classical music at least be FUNNY about it and that requires your joke to at least be mildly relevant#there’s enough actual elitism around classical music you are simply missing the mark & muddying waters by throwing that term around#and using it inaccurately. you are in fact accomplishing the opposite of what you ostensibly intended
3 notes ¡ View notes
seventh-district ¡ 10 months ago
Text
so uh. that 2.2 Special Program, huh
#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr 2.2#hsr spoilers#hsr leaks#the body of this post reads as far less enthusiastic than i really am#i just don’t know how to casually return from my latest 2 week hiatus only to gush abt a game i’ve hardly blogged abt before#but i’m not making a whole ass sideblog for it like i did for Genshin. nah y’all r gonna bear witness to my fixation with this one#so anyways don’t mind me. vibrating into another dimension with anticipation for the next 11 days#it’s insane man. a year ago i Never ever woulda thought i’d be so invested in this game. and it took Months for the game to really grab me#but i’m v glad i kept coming back even when i was struggling to really get into it. like i just had this feeling that if i stuck around and#gave the game a chance to really like. come into its stride. i just always felt like there was Something there and i just hadn’t found it#and holy shit i finally found it in Penacony. the devs really truly outdid themselves with this region and these characters and this story#not to discount everything that’s happened prior. like i was genuinely Liking it all before now but i wasn’t Loving it y’know#but that may be more a ‘me having to fight tooth n’ nail to force myself to consume new media’ thing than it is a matter of the actual game#anyways i came here to talk abt the program! bc since i’m not filming my HSR stuff i’m gonna be insufferable abt it on Tumblr instead ! :)#and i’m probably not filming any more Genshin stuff. or anything else at all for that matter but let’s not talk abt that dead dream#pun not intended lmao. Anyways let’s return to the subject at hand while there’s still room left in these tags shall we#i’m so fucking glad they had Aventurine on this program man. especially since he’s leaked to only have 18 lines in 2.2… it was nice to see-#-him here at least 🥹 i’ll take what i can get. his unenthusiastic little bird noises at the beginning.. him being reluctant to come out..#the way one of the first things to come out of his mouth was ‘y’know DR RATIO once told me…’ like boy we get it ur in love with him 🙄 (/J!)#i love how they can’t go on these programs w/o talking abt each other it’s adorable. AND THE WAY HE WAS THE ONE TO EXPLAIN BOOTHILL’S KIT!?#they can’t just fuel my crackship like this… god and his whole ‘muddle-fudger.. son-of-a-nice-lady?’ thing had me wheezing#Aven mocking Boothill’s inability to curse was not on my special program bingo card but fuck i’m here for it#and Robin being all curious abt him was so cute.. ‘who /is/ he? … does he order milk at the bar?’ i’m crying she’s so sweet#also the trailer was fucking insane. which feels redundant as hell bc all of HoYo’s version trailers go hard but like. still. wow.#that millisecond long shot of Boothill surveying the skyline is so fucking good. also what the fuck is Jing Yuan doing here!!#not complaining at all tho. we’ve got JY & DH(IL?). Argenti(?). Boothill. Sunday. Aven. all my men r here and i am eating so fucking good#Seven.txt#viddy game stuff
13 notes ¡ View notes
lightblueminecraftorchid ¡ 4 months ago
Text
My roommate and I had a conversation last night and I keep rotating it in my brain and I Don’t Like It
#blue chatter#they called me a resilient person. and no the fuck I am not. I break down so easily over everything and my body is falling apart on me.#I scream in terror when someone knocks on the door too hard the fuck you mean I’m good at handling adversity#I pointed out that I freak out whenever my grade gets low even a little bit#and they were just sitting there like ‘yeah. and then you pick yourself up again and you do the work.’#and no? not always? oftentimes I give up and don’t try hard enough to fix it and let points go that I could have earned#I barely ever go for extra credit opportunities and I’ve never gone to office hours of my own free will#I can’t even think about talking to a professor about a bad grade without wanting to cry? hello?#but they were insistent that even with those things I am still managing Incredibly Well in class given the circumstances. which made me#uncomfortable. like. I don’t think of myself as resilient At All and I feel a bit like I’m lying or tricking them.#I start shaking like a chihuahua when people are upset and I’m In The Vicinity. even when they’re clearly not upset with me.#I really struggle to advocate for myself ever and even when I do I usually feel guilty and walk it back partway so I don’t cause a fight#and I always get way too emotional for the situation when someone has anything they’re upset with me for. which isn’t fair to them bc I need#to be able to take constructive criticism without taking it as a personal attack on me.#like what the fuck do you mean *resilient*. I can’t even handle seeing a bug flying near my face or getting a B in a class. or being told#that I did something wrong. I’m actually significantly worse at handling adversity than I used to be. high school me was a resilientish kid.#and it’s not like I was ever *good* at handling my emotions. even when it was essential for my safety. I’ve always cried way too easily#even when it actively made the situation I was in Much Worse. even when I knew better.#I would get angry and scared and sad and start shaking and crying and even screaming at my parents when they were mad at me even though#I knew that it would always make my life much worse. and extend an already beleaguered argument.#I brought this up with my therapist and she was like ‘well. anybody would have done that if they were treated like you were’.#which. okay. maybe so. I still feel like I should have been able to handle it and just shut up and move on and not make it worse.#but I am aware that this is probably a cognitive distortion. even so. that definitely doesn’t make me resilient.#I just. I feel gross being called resilient. I’m not. I’m weak and easily scared and unable to handle even small amounts of adversity.#the fuck is my roommate even *seeing*.#the annoying part is that they’re generally an insightful person about other people and I know logically that they’re probably right#which is why I’m not going to complain any more about this to their face bc I should just drop it and not make it a Thing#I talk too much about myself and my problems anyway. not every conversation has to be about my brain worms.#but the discomfort is Distinct and Unpleasant. and now I’m just having to sit with it. and Feel Uncomfortable. and try to accept what was#definitely intended as a compliment. I know it’s draining to talk to someone who doesn’t accept any of the kind things you say about them.
5 notes ¡ View notes
floating-plants ¡ 16 days ago
Text
https://transgriot.com/recent-news/dey-dem-a-black-exclusive-pronoun/
https://pronomen.net/er%26dey
https://www.reddit.com/r/NonBinary/comments/108wz5e/german_nonbinary_pronouns/
https://www.bbc.com/pidgin/world-57172398
https://www.bbc.com/pidgin/world-57174684
https://pronoun.fandom.com/f/p/4400000000000040264
Please do not reblog my links without my tags as context! Thanks
going to someones blog and they have their pronouns listed as "dey/dem" and youre like "oh ok neopronouns i havent heard of before" but then you start scrolling through deir blog and dey exclusively post in an exaggerated mafia goon voice and now you're genuinely unsure if dey use they/them but spelled it funny as part of the bit or if dey use neopronouns which are an extension of the bit
#after some googling#it seems like there are a bunch of contexts for dey/dem pronouns#Some black people use them as a way to connect with their ancestry and community as an exclusively black pronoun (I am unclear on whether#this means they only want black people to call them that or that they only want black people to call them that. because of my confusion I a#defaulting to they. no disrespect is intended)#it also seems like dey/dem are gender neutral pronouns in German language and are not in frequent mainstream use#it also looks like dey/dem are a part of Pidgen language as gender neutral pronouns and are frequently used#some people also use dey/dem as neopronouns#both use of these peonouns by black people and pidgen speakers are conjugated like dey/dem/dem (template they/them/theirs)#whereas use in german is used like dey/denen which also includes dem in some conjugations#some people use them in the context of neopronouns and they conjugate dey/dem/deirs#I didn't dive super deep but I think it's interesting. I will list my main sources in my reblog. (it will probably look like a random list#of links if it's reblogged without my tags so please don't do that? thanks.#post script: after some more looking#while dey/dem/deirs is conjugated differently than dey/dem/dem it also looks like some people use this neopronoun without understanding#its cultural importance as black language. perhaps making this Not Good™#i am not a very good source on this as I am white and cis#but I am curious and I think that highlighting use of dey/dem as more than just sticking to the bit an any context may be important#also after glancing through the notes it seems like the German use of dey/denen is more commonly known than these other contexts
24K notes ¡ View notes
dieverged ¡ 3 days ago
Text
i think nima has a soft spot for cole but they can't be around him for too long because he keeps trying to pick them apart and it's threatening 😭😭😭
0 notes
fatickono ¡ 8 months ago
Text
me when i try and ignore a hyperfixation i’ve had for 2.5 years … and it doesnt work!!!!! who could’ve expected that ………….
#dies. also VENTING AHEAD sorry i ended up venting in tags. SO YEA VENTING TW BE WARNED!!!#yk what i’ll say it. its the#fucking d s m p#im spelling it that way so hopefully this wont show up in the tag. if it does sorry to ppl who got here from it#but.#i WANT to be over it i want to not like it anhmore#bc it does not help my moral ocd one fucking bit#why does it not help my moral ocd u may ask?#bc it is very controversial and has many ppl in it that are legitimately bad ppl and *points at ppl saying if u like d s m p youre a bad pe#and like . That doesnt help my moral ocd (which is obsessed with being a good person at all times and if im not then i am evil)#my hyperfixations are part of me and i cant just rip them out#its lik a tree grew its way in me and now if you rip it out i die#weird analogy but i dont really care#if one of my followers decides to unfollow me bc of liking d s m p. i understand#and f jfjemenfm why couldnt my brain latch onto like .#her mit craft#or somethjng#????#i wouldnt feel guilty ofer liking that#well . maybe i would but probably less idk#and i feel guilty interacting with any fan content of the d s m p#even just liking a post related to it makes me feel bad#and like ejrkfjfj this#i just wish i didnt like itever in the first place#idek how i got into it#but i did#aughcjekdjd#sorry for venting but . yea. i didnt intend for it to be one but apparently my brain wanted that. so#also dont expect me to go posting d s m p content after this cus.. im not#i purposefky never talk about it because if i do the demons (my ocd) will end me for it☺️☺️☺️☺️
1 note ¡ View note
vaspider ¡ 1 year ago
Text
While I'm writing things that I've been intending to write for a while... one of the things that I think that a lot of people who haven't been involved in like... banking or corporate shenaniganry miss about why our economy is its current flavor of total fuckery is the concept of "fiduciary duty to shareholders."
"Why does every corporation pursue endless growth?" Fiduciary duty to shareholders.
"Why do corporations treat workers the way they do?" Fiduciary duty to shareholders.
"Why do corporations make such bass-ackwards decisions about what's 'good for' the company?" Fiduciary duty to shareholders.
The legal purpose of a corporation with shareholders -- its only true purpose -- is the generation of revenue/returns for shareholders. Period. That's it. Anything else it does is secondary to that. Sustainability of business, treatment of workers, sustainability and quality of product, those things are functionally and legally second to generating revenue for shareholders. Again, period, end of story. There is no other function of a corporation, and all of its extensive legal privileges exist to allow it to do that.
"But Spider," you might say, "that sounds like corporations only exist in current business in order to extract as much money and value as possible from the people actually doing the work and transfer it up to the people who aren't actually doing the work!"
Yes. You are correct. Thank you for coming with me to that realization. You are incredibly smart and also attractive.
You might also say, "but Spider, is this a legal obligation? Could those running a company be held legally responsible for failing their obligations if they prioritize sustainability or quality of product or care of workers above returns for shareholders?"
Yes! They absolutely can! Isn't that terrifying? Also you look great today, you're terribly clever for thinking about these things. The board and officers of a corporation can be held legally responsible to varying degrees for failing to maximize shareholder value.
And that, my friends, is why corporations do things that don't seem to make any fucking sense, and why 'continuous growth' is valued above literally anything else: because it fucking has to be.
If you're thinking that this doesn't sound like a sustainable economic model, you're not alone. People who are much smarter than both of us, and probably nearly as attractive, have written a proposal for how to change corporate law in order to create a more sensible and sustainable economy. This is one of several proposals, and while I don't agree with all of this stuff, I think that reading it will really help people as a springboard to understanding exactly why our economy is as fucked up as it is, and why just saying 'well then don't pursue eternal growth' isn't going to work -- because right now it legally can't. We'd need to change -- and we can change -- the laws around corporate governance.
This concept of 'shareholder primacy' and the fiduciary duty to shareholders is one I had to learn when I was getting my securities licenses, and every time I see people confusedly asking why corporations try to grow grow grow in a way that only makes sense if you're a tumor, I sigh and think, 'yeah, fiduciary duty to shareholders.'
(And this is why Emet and I have refused to seek investors for NK -- we might become beholden to make decisions which maximize investor return, and that would get in the way of being able to fully support our people and our values and say the things we started this company to say.)
Anyway, you should read up on these concepts if you're not familiar. It's pretty eye-opening.
18K notes ¡ View notes
sarahsangelicdoll ¡ 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
thinking about Rafe and somno (x/twitter p link !! don’t open in public)
cw; consensual somnophilia, dubcon, s1 Rafe, hints at ‘good girl’ reader, not exactly like the video but that’s ok 😅, soft!Rafe, wasn’t intended but he’s highkey soft in this 😅, unprotected p n v(always use protection!!) but Rafe pulls out.
a/n: wasn’t intending on making this so lovely dovey and soft but it is and tbh i’m not complaining 😭 i got this vid from @rafesbowbunny awhile ago, ty for blessing my eyes with this p link 💞
Rafe snuck in through your window, having previously been waiting for about ten minutes in his truck for you. His messages going through and on read but no reply from you. Why didn’t he walk through the door like a normal person? Well because your parents were curled up on the couch next to each other watching whatever old, rich, obnoxiously fake, stuck up rich people watched. Probably similar to the bullshit shows his parents watched.
He grunted as his feet landed on the floor and he finally hopped himself into your room. making a mental note to find an easier way up to your window. Just as he was about to speak and ask you why the fuck you weren’t responding to him he saw you on your bed, still in your clothes from earlier that day, phone in hand and sleeping away. He smirked slightly as he took in your sleeping figure, looking all pretty. He strolled over to your bed and took your charging phone out of your hand on onto the bedside table, about to shake you awake before he recalled something.
That something being a post-sex conversation he had with you about a month ago. How you went on about how hot it would be if you woke up to him using you and that your body was ‘free to use’ even if you were sleeping. Perhaps it turned you on too much- even expressing being comfortable with the usage of roofie pills(Which Rafe respectfully stated that he’ll never do nor is comfortable with). But he’d be lying if he said the thought of waking you up with his cock when you least expect it didn’t get him worked up. But lying he did, hence why he’s waited so long to surprise you, wanting you to think he wasn’t into it.
Rafe bit his lip as his eyes trailed down your figure. He knew fucking you awake would be risky to do with your parents down stairs- but that just made the situation even hotter, and it’s Rafe- why would he care?
So within just a couple seconds his clothes were discarded and he was climbing onto your bed. His movements careful as to not wake you. He rested on his knees as his hands roamed up and down your curves, stopping to squeeze the flesh of your hip. He sucked in a shaky and lustful deep breath as he hooked his finger under the waistband of your shirts and pulled them down along with your panties. Shifting your legs slightly to string the fabric off of your body and then throwing them off somewhere on the ground. Rafe bit his lip as he eyed your glistening, pretty folds, running a finger through them while his other hand gently placed itself back onto your ass and squeezed.
He shifted position again once your shorts and panties were off. Resting on his side. He reached over your body to lift your legs up further into your body in an almost sitting like position. Rafe let out a quiet groan as fisted his cock in his hand, looking down at your bare and vulnerable pussy.
Lifting his hand up to his mouth, Rafe spit into it and brought his hand back down to his cock and wrapped his hand around the base to spread the spit as a type of lube, his cock twitching at the pleasureful sensation. Rafe took his time as he shifted in his spot to easily run his cock up and down through your pussy folds, tapping the head of his cock against your clit. A smirk made its way onto Rafes face as he felt your body twitch at the sensation.
He teased himself as he circled the tip of his cock around your hole before sinking himself in, quickly biting his lip to stifle a loud moan from escaping his mouth as the warmth and tightness of your pussy enveloped his cock. Rafes mouth fell open in a quiet moan once he fully sheaved himself into your tight cunt. He had to wait a bit both for you and him: Him to get a grip on reality, already feeling like he’s in heaven and for your sleeping body to get used to it.
Once Rafe finally starts moving he has to bite his lip to prevents moans from spilling out of his lips. He couldn’t help himself from glancing up towards the door, heightening the pleasure and even a hint of fear at the thought of your parents waking up to see their perfect, innocent and precious daughter getting used in their sleep. His thrusts stayed more on the gentle and slow side but steady pace, planting his larger hand on the flesh of your ass and squeezing lightly.
He couldn’t help but admire your sleeping position, hair messy and thrown around your pillows. Breathing steady and gentle. Dreaming about god knows what.
Rafes breathing got more breathy and quick as he felt you shift slightly and pussy clench around his cock. But it wasn’t enough, he needed to be deeper and in your plushy walls. So he shifted his position once again, hovering his body over yours as he kept himself up by his fists, planted on either side of you. His body was practically caging yours as he breathed in your scent. The new position letting Rafe fuck you both easier and deeper. Your walls felt so good around him and the slower pace felt like a tease due to the lack of your moans, noises n reactions to help him get off, so he couldn’t help but speed up his pace.
And that’s when you woke up, pussy clenching around him as you felt yourself regain consciousness from your nap, dazed and confused before you immediately felt something fucking itself into you and someone else’s body heat along your side. In your confused state you didn’t think properly and simply felt panicked when you looked and saw someone else’s body over you.
Rafe was too lost in the pleasure to pay attention to you waking up, missing the way your heartbeat sped up along with your breathing. He then froze slightly as he felt your hair shift against his face, lifting his head up to see the panic quickly settling onto your features. He stopped his thrusts and quickly darted his hand up to your mouth, preventing any noises before they even came.
“Hey- hey, just me babe.” He whispered, though his tone was slightly panicked itself, his own heartbeat speeding up.
Your eyes darted up to his as you heard his words, immediately feeling a wave of both relief and arousal come over you. Rafe grinned as he felt your breathing and heartbeat slow down and your eyes become wide with lust instead of fear, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in. His hand moved from your face down to your waist and squeezed lightly, grin still plastered on his face as he lowered his head down to your neck, breathing in your scent before speaking teasingly through kisses. “Good nap?”
You let out a yawn, followed by a moan as his thrusts picked up again and he started placing soft kisses to your neck. “Yeah… even better was when i woke up.” You teased back, grinning slightly as your hands made way to his hair.
Rafe chuckled as he brought his head back up from your neck, typical cocky grin spread on his face. “Imagine how your parents would feel if they walked into me fucking their perfect daughter? And finding out she asked for it previously.” He continued to tease, leaning back up to put enough space between his and your bodies to allow him to push your body down onto your back instead of your side, moving your leg over as well before he enveloped your body into his again. Rafe’s elbows resting on either side of your body.
Leaning down, Rafe captured your lips into a kiss before you could come out with some smart comeback. His hips rocking back into yours as his hands explored your curves. The usually agonizingly slow position feeling very pleasurable in this moment.
You two simply enjoyed each other’s company. Rafe moving his head back down into your neck to mark what’s his and hide the sounds of his own grunts and heavy breathing. You wrapped your legs around his hips as you let out soft but pleasure filled moans. Every sound you make sounding like absolute heaven.
“So pretty..” Rafe murmured into your neck as he glanced up at you, cheeks flushed as he bit his lip before speaking again. “Especially for just waking up.”
Your face flushed even more at his words as you giggled, biting your lip slightly as you looked down at him. “And you’re handsome.” You complimented cheekily, playing with strands of his hair. Rafe let out a shaky breath mixed with a moan at your words. Biting your neck as his pace slowly became less steady and more quick, signalling that he was about to cum.
Rafes hand found way down to your clit as he started rubbing quick circles on the bundle of nerves. Your own moans raising in frequency and pitch as you felt the sudden, overwhelming sensation on your clit, unmatching to his thrusts. It was such a perfect combination that made you feel like you were about to cum and go up to heaven in seconds.
You grabbed a fistful of Rafes hair as you felt that knot in your stomach slowly come closer and closer to snapping, letting Rafe know in a high pitched, attempting to be quiet breath. “Oh fuck.. ‘mma cum imma cum-“ You chanted, legs wrapping tighter around his hips as you squealed at Rafes fingers increasing their rushed pace on your clit.
“Yeah? me too baby, c’mon.” He said breathlessly, cock twitching inside you at your words. Placing one last sloppy, open mouthed kiss to your neck before letting out a loud moan, quickly pulling out as his cum decorated your stomach and pyjama shirt in long, white, sticky strings of cum. Your own arousal escaping you in clear liquid, absolutely soaking both your sheets and Rafes lower half.
The two of yours loud breaths were the only sound that filled the room as you both came down from your highs. Needless to say; that felt fucking amazing. Perhaps it was all the mix of taboo things; fucking upstairs while your parents watched tv and Rafe fucking you while you were asleep.
Rafe let out a breathy chuckle as he placed a kiss against your cheek and pulled away. Looking down at the absolute mess you made. He grinned as he glanced down at you; “Squirted from this?” He asked, teasing you as if that wasn’t one of the most pleasurable orgasms he’s had.
You grinned back up at him as squeezed your legs together playfully to cover yourself. Nodding at his words, completely tired, blissed and fucked out. “Yeah, was so hot to wake up to that.” You said with an un-matching innocent sounding giggle. Stretching your arms over your head as you yawned.
“Yeah? that a sign i should sneak in and fuck you while you’re sleeping with your parents downstairs more often?” Rafe teased, Shifting to throw one leg off the bed and reach for a random article of clothing to dry the two of yous up.
“Yes.” You replied simply but tiredly, watching as he grabbed the piece of clothing, yawning yet again as sleep again threatened to take over your body.
Rafe couldn’t help but smile genuinely as he looked back at you and saw your sleepy expression. Leaning up and forward to give you a goodnight. “‘mk, now go back to sleep, i’ll clean this shit up.”
Tumblr media Tumblr media
⟡ ݁₊ . written by sarahsangelicdoll, 2025 on tumblr! © do not repost on any third party website or repost as yours
⟡ ݁₊ . tagging muts: @moonlightrafe @bloodibambiidoll @winnie1emon @cameronsprincess @hvnlygrl
2K notes ¡ View notes
misayani ¡ 2 months ago
Text
HONEY (R U COMING?) — SE-MI (PLAYER 380)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
◜ pairing ... se-mi / player 380 x  fem reader
◜arrogant and bratty reader (044) recruiting se-mi (380) for the second game
𔗨 author's note — wasn't seeing enough fanfics for my baby so ... [lowercase intended]
Tumblr media
"i dont see anyone else that's good enough for us" you hear gyeong-su comment with a huff. 
you're currently standing with three idiots—thanos, gyeong-su, and nam-gyu, slightly distanced from the three with your arms crossed against your chest and while your twirl your hair. 
"yo thanos, what are we going to do?" nam-gyu's irritating voice cut through all the noise of other people communicating.
thanos turned to him, his head bopping, motherfucker's high again. "i don't fucking care man, let them come to us. i mean, who wouldn't want to be with the great thanos!" 
both men chuckled as nam-gyu speaks up once again, "what about you 044? make yourself useful, can't just sit pretty doing nothing eh?".
"and you call yourself useful?" you scoff as you turned around to face the three, eyebrows raised. thanos smirked at you as you sighed, "fine, i'll make myself useful. no one would probably even care to join you, even if you begged." 
"you bitc—" nam-gyu would've reached you already if it weren't for thanos holding him back while cackling at the both of you.
with one last huff, you strutted your way to the crowd, scanning around the room for someone who met your personal standards—hot, unbothered, and most specially, a woman. 
your eyes landed on a person wearing a jacket with the number '380'. with a confident smirk, you walked towards the woman whose back is facing you and talking to someone.
"leave." your voice broke their conversation as they both looked at you. you eyes were darted to the boy specifically, him being the one you told to leave.
"w-what?" the boy stuttered, looking at you bewildered.
you furrow your eyesbrows, taking a step closer to the boy, "do i seriously need to get you hearing aids? i said leave." 
the boy scrambled away before you can even take your second step to him. with a pleased smile, you turned to the utterly attractive woman who looked at you with an amused expression.
"join me." short and straight to the point. you were confidently sure that she would just say yes and come with you— surely, who in their right minds would turn down a pretty girl's offe-
"why should i?" she voices out. oh. my. fucking. god is her voice so alluring. her looks already made your legs feel like jelly and then comes her voice?— yes lord.
snapping out of your fantasies, you furrowed your eyebrows as you looked at her with an expression that read 'how dare you?' 
"a-are you serious? why shouldn't you?" you looked at her up and down in attempt to intimidate her, but really just an excuse to check her out.
"can't just expect me to join you after rudely making the boy i was talking to leave, sweetheart." she crosses her arms as she made her way closer.
sweetheart. heat rushed to your cheeks and you scoff, rolling your eyes. 
"what do you want me to do then? he doesn't look like someone who's good enough to join forces with in a death game like this anyways." you rebut. 
"and you think you're good enough?" she smirks at you. before you could even utter another word, she straights up and looks down at you—caused by height difference, making you feel small— and chuckles.
"what's your name and give me one good reason why i should join you."
you told her your name, which made you sound too eager for your liking, before you straightened yourself up and flicked you hair to the back.
 "i'll make sure you win. team up with someone who actually looks like they're capable of winning instead of someone who looks like a lost puppy." your eyes darted to the boy she was talking to earlier who was now talking to other people before returning your gaze to her.
she crosses her arms and brings a finger to her mouth to bite down on and stares at you, which made you scream internally. what the fuck. how can someone be this hot?
after some silence between you two, she spoke up "fine. but if i lose, i'll come for you."
huh. 'come for me?' won't be such a bad idea, right? the thoughts made you smirk as you boldy traveled your eyes over her figure. 
"oh, i think you have me mistaken. i won't mind at all if you came for me" your voice sounded innocent, but your words were laced with an obvious innuendo.
"oh?" she smirks. before you could even let her finish her sentence, you speak up once again to avert the topic.
"how will you come for me if you die anyways?" you roll your eyes to try and hide your flustered state. "which, by the way, you won't. my group is decent, me being the best member of course." 
and as if on cue, thanos and the two made their way to the both of you, his annoying voice dominating the noise surrounding you. 
"there you are doll, been lookin for you." you scoff at his words as thanos turns to face 380, which you still don't know the name of, "and who is this seĂąorita?"
you opened your mouth to say something but 380 beat you to it. "se-mi. she recruited me." she says, nodding to you. 
moanable name. you thought.
"really? another woman? you already make this team weak." nam-gyu yaps as he turns to face you, saliva escaping his mouth. filthy.
you scoff as you step away and point your finger at him, "fucking shut your mouth. you haven't done shit to this team. your ass can't fucking talk." 
before a fight between you two broke out, gyeong-su already restrained nam-gyu. thanos whistles, "well. there's that."
the purple-haired man throws his arm over your shoulders and faced nam-gyu. "let's not talk shit now eh? we're a fucking team!" he yells as he raised his free arm up, "try not to kill each other off, we still have games to play."
nam-gyu rolls his eyes and se-mi watches the scene unfold, snickering.
"now come on my folks, come on." thanos frees you from his hold as he walked through the crowd, arms spread as if bragging, with nam-gyu and gyeong-su following.
your lips unsubconsciously turn into a pout as you turned to face se-mi, who was already looking at you.
"cute." she eyes you up and down and starts walking towards thanos' direction. your mouth opens as if you let out a silent gasp at what she said and just stared.
she realized you weren't following so she stopped and turned her head to look at you.
"coming?" she smirks
oh i'm definitely coming.
Tumblr media
@misayani
Tumblr media
2K notes ¡ View notes
zombii-writess ¡ 2 months ago
Text
ɪ ᴘᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏɴᴅᴇʀ ɪɴ ᴡᴏɴᴅᴇʀʟᴀɴᴅ
summary: ever since you've woken up in Twisted Wonderland, you've been in awe. i mean how could you not? magic was everywhere!
your friends just shrug it off, thinking that there was nothing special about this world, but you, oh you can't help but giggle like a child whenever something explodes, whether on purpose or accidently, in potions class. of course, someone has noticed the joy at the smallest things in your eyes, and he can't help but admire that.
characters: Riddle, Leona, Azul, Kalim, Vil, Idia, and Malleus,
type: fluffy / gn reader / romantic / bullet points + lowercase intended / reader is yuu
a/n: had this in my head for a while but whenever im given the chance to write i forget everything, some characters might be ooc and like most of the stuff i just searched up lol
unedited
✁-----
[ⅰ] riddle rosehearts
riddle likes your enthusiasm about wanting to learn things. so when you came up to him with a bunch of questions regarding his world, you bet he pulled out a stack of books and plopped them on a nearby table.
"i hope your free for the next hour, [name], because we aren't leaving until your curiosity is satisfied."
he thinks you're going to whine and make an excuse to leave, but he's left silent when you nod and plop down on the chair, back straight and ready to learn at whatever knowledge was going to be thrown your way.
it ended being longer than an hour. you couldn't help yourself asking questions about certain things like wars, how magic came to be, how it was possible to for dorms to have their own dimensional pocket for its location, and blah blah blah.
and riddle couldn't help himself to answering your questions, which led to more questions and again blah blah blah.
finally, you guys get a break for snacks and refreshments, riddle decides to ask you about your world. is there truly no magic in your world? ...magicians? they give the allusion of magic without being able to use it? interesting.
and break ends without both you realize it, but this time, riddle's the student and you're the teacher.
[ⅱ] leona kingscholar
usually, leona doesn't care if you're around him whenever he's sleeping, he likes napping on you. as long as it's quiet and there's no ruggie bugging him about any assignments, he's a happy lion.
but he can't help flicking his tail in irritation at your constant staring at his tail and furry ears when he's trying to sleep. he knows you probably want to touch them.
yeah, leona knows he's good looking, but could've you done your sight-seeing when he's more awake and ready to tease you?
"hey, herbivore, is there something on my face?" leona opens an eye and stares at yours with his green one. he notices you eying his ears and with a loud sigh, he repositions himself to rest his chin on your belly. "only for 3 minutes"
giggling, you immediately reach over and stroked at his fuzzy ears. then comes the questions. "do you use different shampoo for your tail?" "how do you wear headphones?" "your tail is very pretty!"
while you chatted away and messed with his ears and hair, leona fell deeper and deeper into slumber. he'll answer your questions when he wakes up.
[ⅲ] azul ashengrotto
why did he agree to this? why couldn't he just tell jade and floyd to take and show you the beauty of the deep sea? but knowing them, they might pull something and that something was this!
stuck in a sunken ship, with you, in his octopus form! but he can't help but flush at your gentle petting towards one of his many arms, the appendage wrapping itself around your fingers. he curses at the twins under his breath.
azul tries to focus your attention on other things he has found in the ruined ship, "look at this jewel, isn't it shiny?" "no? well, uh, then what about these shells? don't they look prettier to look at?" but the more he brough items using his limbs, the more amazed you are.
"wow, your arms are useful, not to mention very beautiful." azul pauses, soaking up your words, heart fluttering. "this shade flatters you so much, i bet you look good in any color"
azul and you didn't realize how close you had gotten to each other, chests touching and eyes locked like nothing else mattered. "azul, you're very beautiful."
his heart clenches at your words, swallowing a bit and murmuring a small 'thank you.' azul's limbs tightening their grip around you. "thank you, [name]..."
[ⅳ] kalim al asim
he's a yapper like you, poor jamil is seconds away from slamming his head into a wall from your ramblings.
you're amazed at some crystal lamps he has? guess what's sitting on your desk in your dorm. what do you mean there's no such thing as enchanted jewelry in your world? don't worry [name] he'll cover you head to toe in enchanted jewelry.
but then kalim has an idea. what if he took you on a magic carpet ride? you liked it last time surely, you would want to do it again. you beam at the idea and before jamil could get a say in, kalim scoops your hand in his and drags you to the treasury where he keeps his magic carpet.
squealing in delight, the air smacked your face to which you buried yourself in kalim's clothing as you clung to him. kalim laughs with you as he guides his carpet up into the clouds. '[name] check out this view!'
you gasp at the sight; the moon was full and bright in the dark sky, stars twinkled in the dark dome, the air was crisp and cold. kalim feels his face warm up at the sight.
he'll take you anywhere you want as long as you stay by his side
[ⅴ] vil schoenheit
you remind him of rook in a way, always admiring the simplest things and always impressed by the tiniest things. he's seen the way you look at him with stars in your eyes whenever he makes sparkles fly in alchemy and potions class.
vil knows your curious and he absolutely thrives at your constant attention on whatever he's doing. be it doing his make-up, skin care routine, or doing schoolwork. as long as it's you, he doesn't mind your attention behind cameras.
currently, he's doing your daily skin care date night while you yapped away about potions and his skin care.
"you make your own skin care products right? that's amazing, i couldn't trust making my own and expect my face to come out as clear as yours." you laugh
vil huffs as his pinky scoops up some lip balm, then holds your chin gently with his pointer finger and thumb and applies the product to your lips. which he totally didn't need to do all of that when there was a small stick.
"that's why i'm here, [name], i could show you some tricks i've learned through trial and error."
[ⅵ] idia shroud
after over blotting and apologizing to everyone, idia expects his life to remain the same, occasionally having interactions with his peers, you have shown up to his dorm, thanks to ortho, and expressed your curiosity in his hair.
idia stutters out an incoherent explanation, tips of his hair burning a pink from the concentrated look in your eyes, and once he finishes, idia goes to close his door but jumps at your hand gripping onto the door. you weren't satisfied.
eventually you invite yourself inside and after countless questions about him, you mention technology from your world and that catches his attention.
he listens to your explanation, occasionally snickering at the outdated technology your world had. when you ask about the technology from this world, idia comes out a bit more from his shell and goes on a 3-hour rant about technology from Twisted Wonderland, with you occasionally asking questions.
idia hopes you don't notice the tips of his hair turning pink, but of course, you ask him, admiring the color.
[ⅶ] malleus draconia
he admires that about you. for someone who'll live for a short time, you always cherish what little time you have. malleus has lived for a long time; he's seen things come and go, and over the years, he seems to have lost the passion to seek and explore what life offered.
but being with you with your daily late-night walks, with your rambling of how you found potions being able to heal injuries and sicknesses absolutely mindboggling.
malleus listens attentively to your speech on mythical creatures back in your world, how dragons were your personal favorite, and how in your world, in fae mythology, it's rare for a fae to choose to become mortal. that certainly catches malleus' attention. (i literally just googled this so idk if this is accurate)
he's certainly never heard of this statement, but it does intrigue him. now your speech leads to questioning him or questioning about his title as one of the top five powerful mages. how do you get that title? are you born with it or do you have to prove yourself to professionals? can anyone receive this title?
malleus just smiles and answers your onslaught of questions, heart fluttering at your attentive gaze
Tip jar (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)
2K notes ¡ View notes
orangeblossomsintheair ¡ 2 months ago
Text
ILLICIT AFFAIRS (3/3) | CS55
Tumblr media
summary : You shouldn’t have said anything. You really shouldn’t have. But it’s too late now. “He sent me a dildo shaped like his cock,” you mutter under your breath, so fast you almost hope she didn’t hear you.
wc : 14k
an : This might be the end of the Illicit Affairs series! Honestly I might write another part (as I intended) but I realized it could also end here. I might work it alongside a few other fics on the back burner.
The thing about Carlos is that he doesn’t tiptoe. He doesn’t hesitate.
He’s the kind of guy who walks into your life, plops down, and acts like he’s always been there.
At first, you think he’s just passing through, like one of those tumbleweeds in old Westerns. Here for a moment, gone in another, leaving only a faint memory and maybe a little dust.
But Carlos is no tumbleweed.
He’s ivy. Creeping into the corners of your life, attaching himself with relentless charm and absolutely zero warning.
At first, it had just been sex.
Carlos calls, you pick up, and the two of you dive headfirst into whatever filthy scenario he’s cooked up for the evening.
It’s hot, it’s fun, and afterwards, you both lie there catching your breath while exchanging a few words like some half-hearted attempt at aftercare.
“Good for you?” he’ll ask, panting, his voice somehow managing to sound both teasing and sincere.
“Sure,” you say, rolling your eyes at the ceiling. “Top ten, at least.”
He laughs. Deep, warm, addictive. “I’ll aim for top five next time.”
It’s simple. Casual. Exactly what you signed up for.
Until it’s not.
Until the minutes start to stretch.
At first, it’s just an extra five. Then ten. Then before you know it, the two of you are sitting there, chatting about absolutely nothing long after the heat of the moment has faded.
Next thing you know Carlos is reaching out for the sake of company.
It’s easy to brush it off at first.
To pretend it’s harmless.
Carlos is just a guy who’s annoyingly good at making you laugh and has a voice so smooth it could probably negotiate world peace or at least a really good discount at a used car dealership.
But then, one afternoon, as you’re scrolling through your texts, you realize something horrifying:
You talk to Carlos more than you talk to your friends.
No, scratch that. You talk to Carlos more than you talk to anyone.
And it’s not just the sheer volume. It’s the content.
It’s the way his words sneak into your day, set up camp, and throw a block party. He texts you good morning before you’ve even had coffee, which is frankly criminal.
Carlos Rise and shine, baby. Did you dream about me again?
You I dreamed I hit you with my car
Carlos Hot. Was I shirtless?
You No, but you were crying. Freaked me out
Carlos Probably because I looked so good
You should block him.
You should delete his number.
You do neither, because somewhere deep down, you’re a masochist.
He doesn’t stop at morning texts either.
He sends unsolicited opinions all day, every day.
Carlos Do you think cows ever get tired of standing?
You They sit, Carlos. They sit all the time.
Carlos Yeah, but like, emotionally? What if they’re just pretending to like grass because they’re scared of change
You What would they change to, exactly? Chicken nuggets?
Carlos Maybe. Cows could be wild carnivores waiting for their moment. We don’t know what they’re capable of.
One day, while you're halfway through a bag of chips, your phone buzzes again.
Carlos Do you think birds ever judge us for not flying?
You You need therapy
Carlos So do you, but I don’t judge
You You judge me constantly 🤨
The banter becomes relentless.
Carlos If you had to pick one food to eat for the rest of your life, what would it be?
You Pasta
Carlos Predictable. You’re so basic it physically hurts
You Pretentious words from a man whose favorite snack is probably caviar
Carlos First of all, how dare you
You You’re trash
Carlos Trash that you text back btw
Then comes the random photos.
He sends you a blurry picture of his sneakers one afternoon.
Carlos Do these make me look fast? Be honest, but also lie
You Fast to embarrass yourself
Carlos Wow. Jealousy is a disease. Get well soon
Carlos Does it change anything if I say they’re limited edition
You Limited edition ugly
He sends you a picture of his dog another day, sprawled on the couch like he pays rent.
Carlos We’ve decided to boycott walkies today.
Solidarity with my guy.
You Tell him he’s lazy
Carlos He says those are bold words from someone who hasn’t hit the gym this week
You glare at the screen. It’s 7 a.m. How does he even know that?
You Your dog is illiterate. Don’t drag him into this
Carlos Rude. He’s very smart
You He licks his own butt
He becomes a fixture in your life without you even noticing.
One morning, you’re sipping your coffee when your phone buzzes.
Carlos Did you miss me while I was asleep?
You I slept better knowing you weren’t conscious
Carlos So, you’re saying you dreamt about me
You I dreamt I moved to a remote island where Wi-Fi doesn’t exist
Carlos Romantic getaway for two. Love that for us
You groan, but your fingers are already typing a response.
And somehow, without you realizing it, Carlos isn’t just a voice on the phone or a name on your screen.
He’s everywhere, weaving himself into your days with his relentless humor and absolute refusal to leave you alone.
That’s why when a day passes by without any contact, you’re tilted off balance.
The silence is unnerving.
You tell yourself it’s just one night.
One single night where Carlos doesn’t text or call, and you should be relieved.
Grateful, even, for the reprieve from his relentless antics.
But you’re not.
You spend the evening trying not to think about it.
You scroll through Instagram, open a book, binge half a season of some random series. But every few minutes, you find yourself glancing at your phone, waiting for it to light up.
It doesn’t.
The hours crawl by, and by the time you’re lying in bed, glaring at the ceiling, you’re starting to feel… itchy. Annoyed. Frustrated. And maybe just a little bit unreasonably hurt.
Then, finally, your phone buzzes.
You grab it so fast you nearly knock it off the nightstand.
Carlos Miss me?
Your stomach does a ridiculous little flip, but you type back quickly.
You Not even a little
Carlos Liar
Another message follows: a selfie of him holding the meerkat plushie you’d sent him as a joke a week ago.
Carlos He misses you too
You groan, but your cheeks ache from smiling.
Carlos By the way
Carlos I sent you a gift
You I didn’t get a package?
Carlos Wait
Carlos Call me when you get it
You shake your head, setting your phone down.
It’s probably something stupid. Knowing Carlos, it could be anything from a ridiculous gag gift to an actual penguin.
Two days later, a package arrives.
It’s sitting on your kitchen counter, deceptively normal-looking for something that Carlos sent.
You eye it warily, debating whether you should even bother opening it.
You stare at it for a good ten minutes, arms crossed, trying to decide whether you should call him first or just dump it straight into the trash.
Eventually, curiosity (and mild fear) wins out. You grab your phone and click the topmost contact.
It rings once before he picks up.
“I was wondering how long it’d take you,” Carlos says, his voice smooth and entirely too smug.
“What the hell did you send me?” you demand without preamble.
“Why don’t you open it and find out?”
“Carlos.”
“Yes?”
You groan, already regretting this decision. “I swear to God, if it’s alive-”
“It’s not alive,” he interrupts.
“Then what is it?”
“Open it.”
“No,” you snap. “Because if it’s something awful, I can’t unsee it. I’m preemptively traumatized. Just tell me what it is so I can mentally prepare.”
“That’s not how surprises work,” he replies, completely unbothered.
“It’s not a surprise if I hate it,” you point out.
“You won’t hate it.”
“I highly doubt that.”
“You might be pleasantly surprised,” he insists, and there’s a tone in his voice, something too smug, too amused, that makes your stomach churn with suspicion.
“Carlos,” you warn.
“Yes?”
“If this is some kind of prank-”
“It’s not a prank,” he says, cutting you off again. “It’s a gift. A thoughtful, meaningful, deeply personal gift.”
“Deeply personal?” you echo, narrowing your eyes at the box like it’s about to explode. “That doesn’t sound reassuring.”
“It’s just a little something to remind you of me,” he adds, which is possibly the least reassuring thing he could have said.
You exhale sharply through your nose, setting your phone down on the counter so he can see.
His face lights up on the screen, all lazy smirks and overconfidence, and you hate the way your stomach flips at the sight of him.
Grabbing a pair of scissors, you slice through the tape with the caution of someone defusing a bomb.
Carlos watches you with rapt attention, his chin resting on his hand. “Excited?”
“I’m terrified,” you deadpan, peeling back the flaps of the box.
For a moment, you just stare.
Then, you shriek. Loudly.
“Carlos, what the fuck?!”
He leans closer to the camera, his grin widening. “You like it?”
“You sent me a dildo?!” you yell, your voice an octave higher than usual.
“Not just any dildo,” he says smugly, sitting back like he’s the king of the universe.
You stare at him, then at the object in the box, and back at him again.
It looks… normal, at first glance.
But then you notice the size. The veins. The shade.
The very specific details.
“Oh my God,” you whisper, horror dawning. “It’s your… your…”
“My cock,” he supplies helpfully. “Yep.”
“Carlos!” you screech, clutching the box like it’s cursed. “You’re a lunatic!”
“True,” he says, completely unfazed. “But admit it- you’re impressed.”
“Impressed?!” you repeat, your voice pitching even higher. “What is WRONG with you?!”
“A lot,” he admits, far too cheerfully. “But you already knew that.”
“How did you even- who does this?!”
“Visionaries,” he says smoothly. “Trendsetters. People who care deeply about customer satisfaction.”
“Customer?!”
“Well, you.”
“I am not your customer!” you yell, holding the replica aloft like it’s a cursed artifact.
Carlos is unbothered. “Technically, you are. You’ve been enjoying the original product for a while now. Or, well, the sight of it.”
You choke on air. “You’re insane.”
“Insanely thoughtful,” he corrects.
“You’re disgusting.”
“And you’re flustered. It's very cute.”
Your jaw drops. “I am not-”
He cuts you off, grinning wider. “So, when’s the test drive?”
“Oh my God,” you mutter, setting the… thing down and burying your face in your hands. “This isn’t happening.”
“Take your time,” he says, magnanimous. “I know it’s a lot to take in.”
“You’re welcome, by the way,” he adds, like this is a completely normal conversation.
“I didn’t ask for this!”
“I know. That’s what makes it such a great surprise,” he says, his grin practically splitting his face.
“Surprise?!” you echo. “I almost had a heart attack!”
“You’ll appreciate it later,” he says confidently.
“I will not!”
“Bet you will.”
“You need therapy,” you hiss, shoving the box away like it might explode.
“And you need lube,” he counters smoothly.
“You’re deranged!”
“Efficient,” he corrects, smirking. “In case you miss me.”
“I don’t!” you lie, your face burning.
Carlos watches you, entirely too pleased with himself. “You’re keeping it, though.”
“I am absolutely not-”
“Yes, you are,” he interrupts, his tone maddeningly smug.
“I am throwing it in the trash right now!” you declare, grabbing the box and stomping toward the trash can.
He leans closer to the camera, completely unbothered. “Go ahead. I’ll wait.”
You freeze, hand hovering over the trash.
“There it is,” he says smugly. “Knew you wouldn’t.”
“You’re insufferable,” you mutter, stomping back to the counter and slamming the box down.
“And yet, here you are, calling me,” he points out.
“Because I needed to yell at you!”
“And now you’re smiling.”
“I am not smiling!” you yell, even as you turn away from the camera to hide the traitorous curl of your lips.
Carlos laughs, leaning back in his chair. “Admit it- you think it’s funny.”
“I think it’s horrifying!”
“You’re laughing on the inside.”
“I’m plotting your murder on the inside,” you snap.
“Sure, sure,” he says, waving a hand dismissively. “So. Again. When are you trying it out?”
“Oh my God,” you mutter, pressing the heels of your hands to your eyes. “I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.”
“I do.”
“Liar,” he says again, his grin positively devilish.
Before you can come up with a response, he adds, “Just make sure to let me know how it compares to the real thing. For science.”
“You’re insane,” you mutter, grabbing your phone and ending the call with a vicious jab.
Seconds later, your phone buzzes with a text.
Carlos Don’t forget lube, babe. You’re gonna need it. ;)
You stare at the screen, your cheeks burning.
Carlos And batteries. Unless you want to do it the old-fashioned way. Your call.
You want to throw the phone, the box, and maybe yourself out the nearest window.
You Blocked
Carlos Bad girl.
—
Carlos has this way of getting under your skin. Not in an infuriating, "I can’t believe I’m dealing with this" kind of way, but more in the likes of "Why do I secretly enjoy this ridiculousness?"
It starts with a string of increasingly pathetic messages.
Carlos Please?
Carlos Just once?
Carlos I take that back.
Carlos Twice? Maybe even thrice
Carlos C’mon, I’ll be good
Carlos I’m literally begging here
Carlos On my knees
Carlos Pathetically btw
Carlos Do you need a photo for proof?
You roll your eyes so hard it’s a miracle they don’t fall out of your head.
You Carlos, we are not doing this again
Carlos You say that
Carlos But I feel like deep down you want to. You’re just being stubborn
He replies instantly, because of course he’s sitting there, waiting for your response like his life depends on it.
“Stubborn,” you deadpan, fingers hovering over your phone. “Sure. That’s definitely it.”
And then he hits you with a voice note, because apparently texts alone can’t convey his desperation.
You don’t even mean to open it, but your thumb slips, and suddenly there he is, using that tone that he knows gets to you.
"Just once," he begs, words spilling out of your speakers like some lovesick fool. "I swear I’ll make it worth your time. Please. I just wanna watch you take me again."
You know you shouldn’t.
It’s ridiculous, bordering on embarrassing.
But then you picture his face, probably flushed, probably biting his lip in that way that always gets to you, and against your better judgment, you cave.
You Fine. But just this once
Carlos I love you
Carlos You’re the best
Carlos I’m naming my firstborn after you
You Just call me
Carlos Yes ma'am 🥰
When the call connects, you're met with the sight of Carlos lounging on his couch looking very much the part of a man who's won an impossible bet.
One arm is draped lazily over the backrest, laptop balanced on his thighs.
The soft glow from the screen highlights the sharp angles of his jawline and the shadow of stubble that you know feels just as delicious as it looks.
The smirk that he wears is devastating. An expression of smug satisfaction that makes your pulse race even as you curse him for it.
His shirt clings to his broad chest, the undone buttons teasing you with a glimpse of hard lines across tanned skin.
His eyes are locked onto you.
There’s heat in them, hunger.
He’s relaxed, but you can feel the tension rolling off him, the way he’s barely holding himself back.
And you?
You’re perched on your bed, knees tucked beneath you, completely bare.
The dildo lies heavy in your hand, the silicone cool against your flushed skin.
The sheer indecency of it sends a rush of heat through you, making your thighs clench.
Carlos smirks, his hand disappearing offscreen for a moment, only to return with a slow stroke along his already hard cock.
He leans forward slightly, the movement drawing your eyes to the way his length twitches in his hand.
For someone who was shamelessly begging just minutes ago, Carlos is playing it way too cool now.
“Naked on your bed, holding a mold of my dick,” he says, his voice smooth like it’s a damn sales pitch. “I mean, come on. That’s the kind of devotion poets write sonnets about.”
You snort, rolling your eyes even as your cheeks heat up. “Oh, yeah. Shakespeare totally had this in mind when he wrote, ‘Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day.’”
“Exactly. I’m a classic, baby. Timeless.”
“Delusional,” you counter, grabbing the bottle of lube with way more force than necessary.
His laugh is low and warm, the kind that annoyingly makes your stomach flip. “Call it what you want, but you didn’t say no to my ‘gift.’”
Your glare falters, just for a second, and he catches it immediately. Carlos thrives on cracks in your armor, and his smirk sharpens like a predator who just spotted its prey.
You glare at the bottle in your hand like it personally wronged you. "I hate you," you mutter, squeezing out a glob of lube.
Carlos's face lights up on the screen, all smug satisfaction and unearned charm. "Funny, because you're doing exactly what I asked. Almost like you want to."
"Don’t push your luck,”
He leans closer to his camera, his grin widening. "Oh, pushing my luck is my favorite hobby. You know this."
You level him with a deadpan stare. "And yet, here you are. Still single."
"Wow. Low blow. But fine, I'll allow it, because you're about to make my night."
"Make your night?" You scoff, dragging this out purely to annoy him. "I’m just trying to remember what this was called. A gag gift, right? Or was it just a waste of money?"
His jaw drops. "A gag gift? I can’t believe you’d say that. This is art."
"This is silicone," you reply flatly, holding up the toy with a disapproving shake of your head.
"Silicone art," he corrects, pointing at the screen like that changes anything. His grin sharpens. "And don’t pretend you weren’t curious the moment I sent it to you."
"You sent this to annoy me," you retort, spreading the lube over your fingers with dramatic flair. "And congratulations, it worked."
Carlos leans forward, his chin propped on his hand as he watches you, his dark eyes glittering with mischief.
"Oh, but look at you now. All lubed up and ready to go. Who's the real winner here, hmm?"
"Still me," you shoot back, though your fingers falter as you glance down at the toy.
Your grip tightens as if it’s a stress ball, and the obscene squelch it makes has you biting back a groan.
Carlos’s smirk grows. "Careful, sweetheart. You keep squeezing it like that, and I’ll think you’re practicing for something."
You let out a sharp breath through your nose, refusing to look at him. "You’re insufferable, you know that?"
He leans in even closer. "And you’re still here. Lube in hand. Ready to-"
"Don’t finish that sentence," you interrupt, finally looking up to glare at him. "I’ll block you."
Carlos snickers, leaning back like he’s won. "You’d never block me. I’m your favorite pain in the ass."
"No," you say, grabbing the toy with more force than necessary. "You're just a pain in the ass in general. Huge difference."
His brow arches as he watches you spread the lube along the length of the toy, the slick sound louder than your ego can handle. You freeze mid-motion, hyper-aware of his gaze tracking every movement.
Carlos’s grin falters for a moment, replaced by something darker, hungrier. His voice drops an octave. "Good girl."
The unexpected praise punches the air out of your lungs, and your hands falter, nearly dropping the toy.
"Keep going," he murmurs, his tone rich with satisfaction. His eyes don’t leave yours, the heat in them curling low in your stomach. "Let me see you do it."
Your pride flares, and you straighten your spine, lifting your chin as you resume your movements with exaggerated precision.
"You’re lucky I don’t throw this thing across the room," you grumble.
Carlos hums, his gaze shamelessly lingering. "You wouldn’t dare. That thing cost more than your dignity."
"Bold words for someone whose dignity died in 2016," you snap, but the banter feels more like a lifeline now, a way to distract yourself from the intensity of his gaze.
The corner of his mouth lifts, cocky and infuriating. "TouchĂŠ."
You inhale sharply, your hands trembling slightly as you grip the toy.
You hate how your body reacts to him, how his voice, his laugh, his everything gets under your skin like this.
Carlos leans forward again, his smirk all-knowing. "Having fun yet?"
Your pride makes you glare at him. “Fuck you.”
His laugh is low, indulgent, the sound curling around you like smoke. "Soon, sweetheart. Very soon."
“Shut up.”
“Make me,” he fires back smoothly, his eyes gleaming with wicked intent.
His voice drops to a growl. "But you won’t, will you? You’ll do exactly what I say because you love being told what to do. Makes you wet just thinking about it, doesn’t it?"
Your lips part, but the sharp retort you’re trying to form dies as his gaze drops to your hands.
His smirk fades, replaced by a hunger so fierce it leaves you breathless.
“Good girl,” he murmurs, his voice rich with satisfaction.
The unexpected praise sends a rush of heat straight to your core. "Keep going. Let me see you do it."
Your fingers tremble as you continue spreading lube on the length of the toy, the silicone cool against your skin.
“Fuck,” Carlos breathes, his hand tightening around his cock. “Look at you, already so obedient. Knew you’d listen.”
He shifts slightly, his voice softening. “Now, spread those legs for me. Show me how wet you are. I want to see that pretty pussy you’ve been thinking about me filling.”
Your thighs part, the cool air brushing against your slick heat as you settle back against the pillows.
His sharp inhale through the speakers sends a jolt straight to your core.
“Fuck,” he groans, his voice strained.
His hand pauses on his cock as he drinks in the sight of you, dark eyes dragging over every inch of exposed skin. "You’re so fucking perfect. Do you even realize how bad I want to bury myself in you right now?"
Your skin feels like it’s on fire, the heat spreading from your cheeks to your chest as the ache between your thighs sharpens with every passing second of his unrelenting stare.
Slowly, you drag the toy through your folds, the soft, slick sound of your arousal breaking the tense silence.
It’s obscene, the way the wetness clings, glistening on the head of the silicone.
Your arousal drips along your thighs, the skin glistening under the low light and you can feel how messy you’ve become, how utterly soaked you are.
"Oh, sweetheart," he rasps, his eyes fixed on the toy and the way it slides against your swollen folds. "That's it. Get it nice and wet for me. I want to see just how desperate you are to take it."
Your fingers tremble as you position the toy at your entrance, the blunt tip pressing against your slick heat. You hesitate, glancing up at him through the screen.
“Carlos…”
“Go on, baby,” he urges, his tone soft but insistent. “Don’t make me wait. I want to see you take it.”
You bite your lip, a soft whine escaping as you slide the tip between your folds again. His gaze darkens, his strokes faltering as he watches you hover above it.
The moment the dildo breaches the first ring of muscles, your head falls back with a moan that’s nothing short of sinful.
Carlos’s eyes burn through the screen, dark and wild, his fist sliding steadily up and down his cock as he watches you begin to move.
“Fuck, baby, look at you,” he groans, his voice rough and needy. “You’re so fucking tight. That little pussy is made for me, isn’t it?”
You whimper, your hips starting to bounce, your slick heat making it easier to slide up and down. The toy stretches you so perfectly, but it’s his words that send fire shooting through your veins.
“Yes,” you gasp, gripping the bed to keep your balance. “It’s yours, Carlos. Always yours.”
“Damn right it is,” he growls, stroking himself faster. “You'd rather have me inside you, stretching you out, making you scream my name, hm? Doesn't matter if it's a mold from my cock. Still can't compare, yeah?”
Your hips jerk at his filthy words, and you pick up the pace, grinding down harder until the toy presses right against that spot that makes you see stars.
“Say it,” he demands, his voice dripping with dominance. “Say how much you want my cock, baby. Tell me what you miss.”
“I miss you,” you cry out, each bounce making your voice tremble. “Miss the way you fill me up, how fucking deep you get- oh god, Carlos-”
“That’s my girl,” he groans, his jaw tightening as he watches the way your body moves, the slick sounds of the dildo sliding in and out of you driving him insane.
“You’d take me so good, wouldn’t you? Let me fuck you until you can’t even think, until you’re dripping all over my cock.”
“Please,” you whine, your fingers digging into the sheets as the pleasure builds, your body tightening around the toy with every bounce. “I need it. Need you to fuck me, Carlos. Need to feel you come inside me-”
“Shit,” he growls, his hips jerking up into his hand. “You’d love that, wouldn’t you? Feeling me stretch you open, filling you so full you’d still be dripping with me the next day.”
Your head is spinning, the combination of his words and the relentless drag of the dildo inside you sending you spiraling closer to the edge.
“You’d let me do whatever I want, wouldn’t you?” His voice is a low, dirty rasp now, his strokes frantic as he chases his release. “You’d let me bend you over, fuck you on every surface in the house, make you come over and over until you’re begging me to stop.”
You nod desperately.
“Go faster, baby” Carlos murmurs, his voice low and rough.
You whimper, obeying.
Each downward motion stretches you all over again, and the fullness makes your eyes flutter shut as a moan spills from your lips.
Carlos’s growl cuts through the speakers, low and rough. “You look so pretty fucking yourself on it like that.”
You lift yourself just enough for the toy to drag along your walls, the friction igniting sparks of pleasure that ripple through you.
When you sink back down, the stretch feels even deeper. Your thighs tremble, your pace picking up as the need builds inside you.
“Fuck,” Carlos groans. “Your tits are bouncing so perfectly. Keep going, baby, let me see them move while you ride it.”
Your breasts sway with each bounce, the motion only adding to the heat pooling low in your belly.
The way his eyes lock onto you, dark, hungry, devouring, makes your nipples pebble, the cool air only amplifying the sensation.
“You look so fucking good,” Carlos murmurs, half mindless, his strokes on his cock quickening as he watches you. “Look at how deep it’s stretching you. Look at the way your tits bounce every time you take it. Fuck, you’re so perfect.”
You can’t stop now, the pleasure too much to ignore.
Your hips grind down harder, rolling in small circles as you press yourself against the base of the toy.
Each motion sends shocks of ecstasy through you, your slick heat gripping the silicone like you never want it to leave.
“Bounce on it harder,” he says.
Your hands grip the sheets tightly as you obey, your hips lifting and dropping with more urgency.
The wet, obscene sound of the toy sliding in and out of you fills the room, mixing with your soft gasps and moans. Your breasts bounce with every movement, and you feel the weight of his gaze like a physical touch.
“Baby,” Carlos groans, his fist tightening around his cock as he watches you ride the toy. “You’re so fucking perfect. You’d ride me just like that, wouldn’t you? Taking every inch, letting me stretch you open until you can’t handle it.”
Your breath catches, your body arching as you grind down harder, the toy hitting that perfect spot deep inside you. “Carlos,” you gasp, your voice trembling. “It feels so good- so fucking full-”
“That’s it,” he growls, his strokes turning frantic as he watches you lose yourself. “Take it all, baby. Keep bouncing. I want to see you come while you’re stretched out like that.”
“Yes,” you gasp, your body trembling as you grind harder, your cries turning into broken moans. “Carlos, I’m- fuck, I’m gonna come-”
“Do it,” he growls, his eyes locked on you, his voice pure command. “Come for me, baby. I want to see it. Show me how fucking good I make you feel.”
Your body shatters at his words, your orgasm crashing over you like a tidal wave. Your walls clench around the toy, your cries spilling out uncontrollably as pleasure courses through you.
“Fucking hell,” Carlos groans, his own release hitting him hard as he watches you fall apart. His hand jerks wildly as he spills over himself, his groans mixing with your whimpers through the screen.
As you both come down, the air is thick and charged, your bodies still trembling from the intensity of it all. Carlos grins at you, looking like the devil himself, his chest still heaving.
“Pretty girl.”
—-
Carlos’s phone is propped up against his water bottle, the screen showing you on the other end of the line as the two of you talk over lunch.
He’s at a small café near the gym, picking at a plate of grilled chicken and rice while you sit on the terrace of a restaurant somewhere near the Monaco Marina.
He can’t tell which restaurant exactly, but it doesn’t matter. He’s too focused on the way the sunlight catches in your hair, how you’re picking at a croissant with absentminded precision.
“So, wait,” you say, mid-bite. “You’re telling me you thought you could just wing the French?”
Carlos grins, popping a spoonful into his mouth. “I did wing it. The waiter understood me perfectly.”
“Sure,” you deadpan. “Because pointing at the menu is such a skill.”
He chuckles, wiping his fingers on a napkin. “Why complicate things? A man’s gotta eat.”
You shake your head, your exasperation half-hearted at best. “You’re hopeless.”
“Worked, didn't it?” he counters smoothly, a spark of mischief in his eyes.
You roll your eyes but don’t argue, which feels like a victory.
For a moment, the conversation drifts to lighter topics.
Where you’d want to travel next, the chaos of his morning workout, and whether or not croissants count as dessert.
It’s easy, effortless, the kind of back-and-forth that feels like second nature.
But then you glance down, suddenly fidgeting with your sleeve, and Carlos picks up on the shift immediately.
“What’s that face?” he asks, leaning forward, curiosity laced in his tone.
You pause, debating, then sigh. “Can I tell my friends about this?”
Carlos blinks. “This?”
“Us,” you say, casually, but the word lands heavier than you probably realize.
He freezes for a split second, his mind stalling like a rookie stalling a car on the grid.
Us.
You don't mean it in the way that’s currently making his chest feel too tight, but it doesn’t stop the word from echoing in his head.
You take another bite of your croissant like you haven’t just derailed his entire thought process.
“Legally? No.” he says, recovering with a smirk. “You’re under NDA. You can’t even mention I exist.”
Your eyes narrow. “Carlos, no one cares that much about you.”
“Ouch,” he says, clutching his chest dramatically.
You shake your head, your expression flat. “Be serious. Is it okay or not?”
He leans back, draping an arm over his chair and studying you with an unreadable expression.
The truth is, he should say no. He should remind you how much he values his privacy, how careful he has to be.
But the thought of you talking about him, to your friends, no less, makes him feel... proud. Like he’s somehow made it onto a list of people who matter to you.
“Yeah,” he says finally, his voice casual. “Go ahead.”
“Really?”
“Why not?”
You narrow your eyes, clearly suspicious. “You’re not going to show up at my door with legal threats if I say something stupid?”
“Not unless it’s really stupid,” he teases.
Your unimpressed stare makes him grin wider. “You’re annoying,” you mutter, but your tone lacks any real bite.
“You love me though,” he counters easily.
He watches as your face softens, just for a moment, and something about it makes his heart stutter in a way he’d never admit.
“You’re impossible,” you say, shaking your head.
“And you like it,” he fires back, his voice light, though there’s a trace of sincerity underneath it.
The conversation shifts again, and by the time you glance at your watch, he’s already dreading the inevitable.
“I should go,” you say, reaching for your coffee cup.
“Busy?”
“Not really,” you admit, but you’re already sitting straighter, ready to leave.
Carlos hesitates, leaning forward slightly. “Hey.”
You pause, looking up at him expectantly.
“Call me again tomorrow,” he says, softer this time.
Your brow lifts, a flicker of curiosity crossing your face. “Why?”
He shrugs, fighting the grin threatening to take over. “I like hearing your voice.”
For a moment, you just stare at him, and he thinks maybe, just maybe, you’re about to call him out on it.
But then you roll your eyes, hiding a smile that he doesn’t miss.
“Goodbye, Carlos,” you say, shaking your head as you reach for the screen.
The call ends, and Carlos sits back in his chair, a soft smile tugging at his lips as he stares at the now-empty screen.
Us.
—-
It’s the bimonthly girlfriend meet-up, and Kika’s already locked onto you like a heat-seeking missile.
“So, there’s this guy,” you say casually, swirling your wine like this isn’t about to become the most chaotic conversation of your week.
Her brow arches, her smirk appearing like she’s just been handed premium-grade gossip.
“Oh?” she says, leaning in.
“Yes,” you reply, taking a slow sip from your glass, because wine is courage, and you need a lot of it right now.
“Tell me more,” she says, her tone deceptively sweet, like a predator coaxing its prey closer.
You hesitate. There’s no way you’re telling her the guy in question is Carlos Sainz.
That would be insane. Absolutely unhinged.
One, because it’s Carlos Sainz.
Two, because it’s Carlos fucking Sainz.
“We’ve been… hooking up,” you say vaguely, hoping to skate by with minimal detail.
Kika narrows her eyes. “Hooking up? Where? I haven’t seen you at the club scene lately, and I definitely haven’t heard from Charles about you sneaking out.”
You blink at her. “Why would Charles know- wait. Are you spying on me?”
“No,” she says breezily, waving a hand. “But Charles knows everything about you. If you were sneaking around Monaco with a guy, I’d know by now.”
Kika tilts her head, studying you. “So if it’s not a local guy…”
She pauses. Then her eyes widen. “Oh my God. Is it a long-distance thing? Is this why you’ve been all ‘mysterious vibes’ lately?”
You sigh, realizing you’re caught. “It’s phone sex, okay?”
Kika blinks. “Phone sex?”
“Yes,” you say, downing the rest of your wine in one gulp. “We’re doing… phone stuff.”
She hums, sitting back, her gaze calculating. “It’s a famous guy, isn’t it?”
“What?!” you sputter. “How did you- why would you even-”
“Ma’am, look at you.” She gestures at you like you’re an exhibit at the Louvre. “You’re gorgeous. You’re you. Why would you ever settle for phone sex unless it’s, like, some Vogue model or an A-lister who’s too busy jet-setting to see you in person?”
“That’s ridiculous,” you say, trying to laugh her off, but it sounds more like a dying animal.
Her grin turns absolutely wicked, the kind of wicked that makes you instantly regret ever letting her into your life. “Oh, so it is a famous guy. You just gave yourself away. Who is it? Spill.”
“I did not!” you protest, but it’s weak. Too weak.
Kika hums, tapping a finger on her chin as she tilts her head. “Hmm. Let me think. Is it an actor? A musician? Oh my God, is it Harry Styles? Blink once for yes.”
“Kika-”
“Wait!” She gasps, cutting you off and slapping the table. “Is it a prince? Are you pulling a Meghan Markle? Are we about to be royalty by proxy?”
“Kika!” you hiss, glaring at her as a nearby table turns to look at the commotion.
“Okay, okay, fine. I'll behave.”
“But,” she adds, holding up a finger and wagging it at you, “you can’t just stop there. I want details. Stories. Anecdotes. What have you two done other than, like, phone sex? That can’t be it, right? Kick it up a notch. Spice things up.”
Your face burns, and you take a long, slow sip of your drink, desperately trying to buy time. “We… talk.”
Kika stares at you, unimpressed. “Talk? Oh, please. You’re telling me a man calls you up just to talk?”
You shrug, feigning innocence. “Sometimes.”
Her grin turns sharper. “And the other times?”
You look away, pretending to be fascinated by the texture of the tablecloth.
“Oh no,” she says, leaning in like a predator cornering its prey. “You’re not getting out of this. What does he say? What does he do? Don’t make me guess because I will make it a thousand times worse.”
You groan, your head falling into your hands. “Why are you like this?”
“Because I care about you,” she says sweetly, patting your hand before grinning again. “Now spill. What’s the wildest thing he’s done so far? Flown you out to a private island? Sent you a love letter written in champagne? What are we working with here?”
You hesitate. You know telling her anything will only fuel her chaos, but at this point, it feels like you don’t have a choice.
“Fine,” you mumble. “He, um… he sent me a… package.”
You take a long sip of your wine, trying to ignore Kika’s razor-sharp gaze burning into the side of your face.
You shouldn’t have said anything. You really shouldn’t have.
But it’s too late now.
“He sent me a dildo shaped like his cock,” you mutter under your breath, so fast you almost hope she didn’t hear you.
Kika chokes on her wine. Full-on chokes. She’s sputtering, clutching her chest as her eyes go wide.
Meanwhile, you calmly sip your drink, staring at some random painting on the wall like it’s the most fascinating thing you’ve ever seen.
“WHAT?!” she finally manages, her voice about three octaves higher than usual.
“I’m not saying it again,” you reply coolly, refusing to meet her gaze.
“He sent you a-” she starts, and then bursts into laughter so loud half the restaurant turns to look at your table.
You shoot her a glare, shushing her. “Could you not announce it to the entire world?”
“Oh my God,” she wheezes, clutching her stomach. “Mr. Mystery sent you a dildo shaped like his cock?!”
You take another sip of wine, your cheeks burning. “It was… thoughtful.”
“THOUGHTFUL?!” she howls. “He’s out here like, ‘What’s a practical gift? Ah, yes, my dick!’”
“It’s not a big deal,” you mumble into your hands, praying the floor will swallow you whole.
“Not a big- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” She’s laughing so hard she can barely breathe.
“Kika,” you hiss, kicking her under the table.
“That’s so romantic,” she says, ignoring you entirely. “Forget flowers. Forget jewelry. Nothing says love like, ‘Here’s my dick. In case you miss me.’”
“This is why I didn’t want to tell you.”
“Are you kidding? This is the best thing you’ve ever told me,” she says, still grinning like a lunatic.
She leans forward, eyes sparkling with mischief. “Do you… do you keep it on your nightstand? Like, right next to your lamp? Is it displayed like a trophy? Maybe on one of those little velvet stands?”
“Kika!” you hiss, glancing around the café as if someone might overhear this absolute chaos.
Her laughter crescendos, attracting a few curious stares from nearby tables. She waves them off with a flick of her wrist, too far gone to care.
“No, seriously, I need to know. Oh God, imagine if you lose it. Like, it’s just missing one day and you’re crawling around under your couch yelling, ‘Mr. Mystery, where’s your dick?!’”
You groan, your head dropping into your hands. “Can you be serious for one second?”
She sucks in a breath, fanning herself like she’s about to faint. “Okay, okay. Serious. Totally serious. I’m done. Promise.”
You peek at her through your fingers, skeptical. “You sure?”
She nods, biting her lip to stifle another laugh. “Totally. Except… I have one more question.”
You lean back in your chair, staring at the ceiling like it might grant you patience. “What now?”
She leans in closer, lowering her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “Is it… accurate?”
You freeze, horrified. “I’m leaving.”
“No, wait!” she cries, grabbing your arm before you can stand. She’s laughing again, her grip on your sleeve shaking with the force of it. “Come on, I’m kidding! Mostly. But seriously. Is it accurate? Like, should we call MythBusters?”
You gape at her, flabbergasted. “Why would I answer that?”
“Because I’m dying to know!” she says, eyes gleaming.
You shake her off and reach for your bag. “You’re insane.”
“And you’re avoiding the question,” she fires back, wagging a finger at you like a smug prosecutor. “Which makes me think it’s very accurate.”
You narrow your eyes. “You’re lucky I haven’t thrown this glass of wine at you.”
“Please,�� she scoffs, twirling her straw. “You’d never waste good wine. Now, answer me. Did he measure it himself, or do you think there was a mold involved? Like, did he sit there in some science lab with a team of experts, being all, ‘Make sure you get the angle right!’?”
“Oh my God,” you groan, covering your face again.
The two of you quiet down as a waiter approaches your little corner.
It’s quiet for a moment—mercifully quiet.
Kika is vibrating with barely restrained laughter, and you’re praying she doesn’t lose it while he’s standing there.
The waiter sets down your plates, refills your glasses, and gives Kika a quick, confused glance because she’s shaking like a malfunctioning washing machine.
You smile at him—tight, polite, please don’t ask questions, I beg you—and he wisely scurries off.
The second he’s out of earshot, Kika slams her hands on the table, rattling the cutlery. “Let me see it.”
You nearly choke on your own saliva. “What?! No!”
“Why not?” she demands, like this is a perfectly reasonable request.
“Why not? Because we’re in a crowded restaurant, that’s why!” you hiss, clutching your purse like it’s a medieval chastity belt.
She leans forward, her eyes gleaming with mischief. “So you’re saying there’s a non-crowded situation where you’d show me?”
“That’s not what I said!”
She smirks. “Sure, but you didn’t not say it.”
“Kika, I swear to God-”
“Just one peek,” she pleads, like she’s asking for a bite of your dessert. “Under the table. No one will even notice!”
“Under the- what are you, a contraband dealer?” you whisper-yell. “This is not a shady back-alley dildo exchange!”
She grins, undeterred. “So, what does it look like? Is it… metallic?”
You freeze. “Why would it be metallic?!”
“I don’t know! Maybe it’s fancy. Maybe it’s, like, a collector’s item.”
“It’s not a lightsaber, Kika!”
She gasps, her hand flying to her chest. “Oh my God. Does it light up?!”
“No!”
“Are you sure?” she presses, narrowing her eyes. “Maybe it has LEDs. You know, for… ambiance.”
—
Kika’s obsession with the whole thing also refuses to let up. She knows, and worse, she loves knowing.
It starts small: innocent comments here and there, teasing questions she doesn’t expect you to answer.
But over time, her nosiness evolves into full-blown meddling. She’s not just curious. She’s invested.
And one day, it all comes to a head.
Kika cracks.
Or rather, her big mouth does.
“This is too good,” she hisses over the phone like she’s smuggling state secrets. “I can’t keep it to myself any longer.”
You drop your sandwich mid-bite, the mayo squelching onto the table. “What the hell do you mean you can’t keep it to yourself?”
“This secret,” she says, as if it’s physically weighing her down. “It’s eating me alive. I can’t keep it anymore.”
You groan. “Kika, we’ve talked about this. It’s not your secret to keep.”
“Which is exactly why I need to tell someone!” she snaps, like that’s a logical leap. “It’s not mine! It’s yours! I’m just... borrowing it, and now I’m returning it to the universe.”
“That’s not how secrets work,” you deadpan, rubbing your temples.
“I need to tell someone! Please, let me tell Alex,” she begs, her voice desperate, like she’s asking for kidney donation approval.
You choke. You actually choke, sputtering on your words like a broken engine. “Are you insane? Have you lost what little is left of your mind?”
“She’s so cool! She won’t tell anyone, I swear.” Kika’s tone is sunny, like she’s campaigning for Alex to win Best Confidant of the Year. “She loves secrets! She’s a vault!”
“She’s my brother’s girlfriend! My. Brother’s. Girlfriend.” You emphasize each word like you’re explaining calculus to a toddler.
“And a great secret keeper regardless of who she’s dating!” She chirps, undeterred.
“She’s dating my brother,” you hiss, as if saying it will drive the point home in her thick skull, pacing across your room like a caged animal. “Do you not see the problem here?”
“I see no problem,” she says brightly. “Alex is the Fort Knox of secrets. She’ll take this to her grave.”
“She’ll take it to my brother,” you counter, jabbing the air with your finger even though she can’t see you. “And then my brother will take it to my mom, and then my mom will take it to church, and next thing you know, I’m being exorcised for sins of the phone!”
Kika laughs, the kind of laugh that means she’s not taking you seriously at all. “Don’t be dramatic. Your mom would faint.”
“Kika!” you hiss, lowering your voice even though no one else is in the room. “If you tell her, I swear to God, I’ll... I’ll-”
“You’ll what? Call Mr. Mystery and complain about me?” Her grin is practically audible.
“Yes, and he’ll agree with me!” you snap, clutching your phone so tightly it’s a miracle it doesn’t crack. “Because this is not a group project!”
“Okay, okay!” She gasps, wheezing like she just finished a marathon. “I won’t tell her! I swear!”
You pause, narrowing your eyes even though she can’t see you. “Wait. Really?”
“No,” she says flatly, so matter-of-fact you feel your brain short-circuit. “I’m absolutely telling her. She’s going to lose her mind.”
You let out a shriek so loud your upstairs neighbor thumps on the floor in retaliation. “Kika, if you even breathe a word”
“Just picture it!” she interrupts, steamrolling over your protest. You can hear her bouncing on her bed. “I’ll text her right now. Something casual, like, ‘Hey Alex, you’re never going to believe-’”
“Fine!” you snap, throwing yourself onto the bed so hard the mattress squeaks in protest. “Fine, just tell her! But we do it in the next meet-up! I have to be present to keep your unruly mouth shut!”
Kika lets out an unholy squeal, the kind that makes dogs two blocks over start barking. You yank the phone away from your ear, grimacing.
“This is the best day of my life,” she announces, and you can practically hear her smirk.
“This is the worst day of mine,” you counter, dragging a pillow over your face and screaming into it.
“Relax,” she says breezily. You hear the telltale sound of typing. “Alex is going to eat this up. She loves a little drama.”
You lower the pillow just enough to breathe. “This isn’t drama. This is my life unraveling because you can’t keep your mouth shut.”
“Oh, please. You’re being dramatic,” she says, her tone so casual you almost throw your phone across the room. “It’s not like we're sending the story to Charles. That would be a scandal.”
You sit bolt upright. “Kika, I swear to all that is holy, if this gets back to him-”
“It won’t!” she chirps. “Unless Alex tells him. But she won’t. Probably.”
“Probably?!” Your voice cracks, and you claw at your scalp like you’re trying to yank out the stress by the roots.
“She’s trustworthy! You trust her, right?” Kika says, still typing away.
“No! I don’t trust anyone!” you shout, rolling onto your stomach and pounding your fists into the mattress. “Least of all you!”
Kika laughs so hard she starts coughing. “Oh, you’ll thank me for this one day,” she chokes out between wheezes.
“Unlikely,” you mutter.
“Anyway, gotta go! I’ll let you know if Alex is available next week,” Kika says brightly, and then the call ends before you can respond.
You stare at your phone in silence, a deep sense of dread pooling in your stomach.
Mistakes were made. By you. Specifically by trusting Kika with anything.
—
The restaurant is stupidly fancy, the kind of place where the bread basket comes with a backstory and the waiters judge you if you butter too enthusiastically.
You sit on the terrace, the Mediterranean sparkling behind you like a postcard that refuses to let you forget how expensive everything is.
Your table has a perfect view of the marina, where billionaires are essentially playing a game of “whose yacht is bigger.”
Not that you’re paying attention.
Alex and Kika are too busy ruining your life for you to focus on anything else.
Alex is halfway through her sea bass when you drop the bomb.
She freezes, her knife poised mid-cut, before her hand falls to the table.
Her fork clatters onto the porcelain plate, loud enough to make a few patrons turn their heads.
You wince, sinking lower in your chair.
Across from you, Kika sips her champagne, completely unbothered. She smirks, clearly enjoying the spectacle.
“You’re kidding,” Alex says, eyes wide with disbelief.
Kika doesn’t miss a beat. “Oh, she’s not kidding,” she says, swirling her glass lazily. “She’s dead serious.”
You squirm under Alex’s gaze, picking at your lobster ravioli like it might swallow you whole if you wish hard enough. “It’s not a big deal,” you mumble.
Alex snorts, an uncharacteristically undignified sound for someone who normally looks like she belongs on the cover of Vogue.
“Not a big deal?” she repeats, her voice rising just enough to make you glance nervously at the tables around you.
“Shut it. People are going to hear,” you hiss.
“Oh, darling,” Kika cuts in, her grin widening. “If people heard, they’d ask for more details. Probably start taking notes.”
Alex ignores her, leaning forward and resting her elbows on the table, etiquette be damned.
“You’re telling me you’ve been having phone sex with some elite celebrity and it’s ‘not a big deal?’”
You groan, dragging a hand down your face. “Can we not call it that?”
“What would you prefer?” Kika asks, her eyes practically sparkling. “Verbal intimacy? Oral storytelling?”
“I hate you both,” you mutter.
Alex waves her off, laser-focused on you. “And the… gift?” she asks, voice dripping with disbelief. “Are we glossing over the fact that he sent you a dildo?”
“It was thoughtful,” Kika offers, deadpan, before taking another sip of champagne.
“Stop helping,” you snap at her.
“I mean, really,” Alex continues, ignoring the interruption. “The man is rich, probably gorgeous to somehow convince you to give him a chance, could maybe have anyone he wants- and he’s doing phone sex with you?”
You glare at her. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“You know what I mean,” she says, brushing off your sarcasm. “Why would he go through all this effort unless-” She stops, her eyes narrowing slightly like she’s just cracked the Da Vinci Code.
“Oh my God.”
“What?” you ask, already dreading whatever is coming next.
“That man is in love with you,” Alex declares, her tone final, like she’s just announced a royal decree.
You choke on air, coughing so violently that Kika reaches over to thump your back, more amused than concerned. “He is not in love with me!” you wheeze.
“He absolutely is,” Alex insists, sitting back and crossing her arms.
“That’s a huge leap,” you argue, waving your hands in front of you. “How do you get ‘in love’ from… from phone sex and-” You gesture vaguely. “Other things?”
Alex doesn’t blink. “He’s a famous athlete, right?”
“Sure,” you say, narrowing your eyes. “So?”
“So,” she says, leaning forward, “he’s settling for phone sex instead of hooking up with someone in person? That doesn’t happen unless he’s in love.”
“It’s not settling!” you argue, flailing slightly. “It’s convenient! We have an NDA; it’s low effort!”
“Low effort?” Alex raises an eyebrow. “More low effort than walking into a club and taking his pick of willing women?”
“Well… yeah!”
Kika cackles, nearly spilling her drink. “Oh, babe. You really think you’re less effort? That’s adorable.”
You glare at her, but Alex presses on, relentless. “Does he do this with anyone else?”
“How would I know that?” you snap.
“Ask him,” Alex says simply, like it’s the most obvious solution in the world.
“Absolutely not!”
“Oh, come on,” Kika says, grinning. “Just casually drop it into conversation. ‘Hey, Mr. Mystery, quick question: am I your only long-distance dirty talk partner, or is this a group activity?’”
You groan, burying your face in your hands. “I’m not asking him that.”
“Why not?” Alex demands, cutting into her sea bass like this conversation isn’t actively ruining your life. “If it’s no big deal, he won’t mind. And if he does mind, well…” She trails off, her smirk infuriatingly smug.
“Then you’ll know he’s in love with you!” Kika chimes in, practically bouncing in her seat.
“Or he’ll think I’m insane,” you shoot back.
Alex shrugs, entirely unbothered. “Either way, it’s good information to have.”
You sit back in your chair, glaring at the two of them as they sip their champagne like this is the most entertaining lunch they’ve ever had.
“You two are the worst,��� you mutter.
Kika raises her glass in a mock toast. “To Mr. Mystery and his poor, emotionally repressed heart.”
Alex clinks her glass against Kika’s with a soft laugh. “And to you,” she adds, “the object of his inconvenient affections.”
You consider grabbing their glasses and chucking them into the marina, but that would only prove their point.
Instead, you stab your ravioli with far more force than necessary, trying to ignore the heat rising in your cheeks.
Mistakes. So many mistakes.
—
You can’t stop thinking about it.
Carlos. In love with you.
The concept is so utterly ridiculous you actually laugh to yourself, out loud, like a complete maniac.
Because Carlos isn’t in love with you.
That’s not how this works. Carlos doesn’t do “love.” Carlos doesn’t do you.
Well, okay, he does you in certain… contexts, but that’s beside the point.
The point is, Carlos is like a human golden retriever with too much charm for his own good.
He’s nice to everyone. He flirts with everyone. He probably gives everyone those stupid lingering looks that make your knees go weak.
He doesn’t fall in love. And if he did, it sure as hell wouldn’t be with you.
But the thought won’t leave your brain. It’s set up camp there, pitching a tent and roasting marshmallows over the fire of your own self-doubt.
And then the photo happens.
It’s a normal day.
Quiet. Peaceful, even.
You’re in bed scrolling through your phone, feeling pretty good about life.
You’ve got coffee on the nightstand, a blanket wrapped around you, and a vague sense of superiority because you haven’t thought about Carlos in at least six hours.
Then his face pops up on your feed.
Carlos, golden and gorgeous, lounging on a yacht like he’s auditioning for a Bond movie. He’s shirtless, of course. Because of course he is. The sun catches in his hair, and his jawline looks so sharp it could cut glass.
You don’t even blink.
You’re too used to this by now. This is just Carlos being Carlos.
But then you see her.
The girl.
She’s pressed up against him, all long legs and glossy hair and perfect teeth. She’s laughing, her hand resting casually, possessively, on his chest like it’s hers to touch.
Your stomach does something horrifying, like it’s trying to fold in on itself.
It’s fine, you tell yourself. This is normal. Carlos is always surrounded by beautiful women. This means nothing.
But the way he’s looking at her…
You throw your phone across the bed like it just personally insulted you.
Then you lie back and stare at the ceiling, trying to convince yourself you’re not spiraling.
Spoiler alert: you’re totally spiraling.
Which is how you end up calling Kika and Alex.
Because misery loves company, and also because you’re desperate for someone to tell you you’re not crazy.
“Hello?” Kika answers, far too cheerful for your current mood.
“I need help,” you blurt out.
“What kind of help?” she asks cautiously.
“Emotional help,” you say dramatically. “I’m having an existential crisis.”
“Of course you are,” she says. “Hang on, I’m adding Alex.”
“No, don’t-”
Too late. Alex’s voice cuts in, already exasperated. “What happened now?”
“He posted a photo,” you mumble, already regretting this.
“Okay…” Alex says slowly. “And?”
“And there was a girl in it,” you say, your voice climbing an octave.
“Oh my God,” Kika groans.
Alex sighs. “Let me guess. Hot girl, hand on his chest, looking like she just stepped out of a magazine?”
“Exactly!” you exclaim, sitting up. “How do you always know?”
“Because this happens every time,” he says dryly. “It’s cliche at this point. You're a walking cliche.”
You whine. “He looked… happy.”
There’s a beat of silence before Kika asks, “Are you drunk?”
“No!”
“Okay, just checking,” she says. “Because you sound drunk. Or insane. Possibly both.”
“I’m being serious!” you say, flopping back onto the bed. “What if he actually likes her?”
“Then he’s an idiot,” Alex says without hesitation.
“You don’t even know who she is!”
“Doesn’t matter,” he says. “No one’s better than you.”
You groan. “That’s not helpful.”
“Look,” Kika cuts in, her tone gentler now. “You’ve got two options. One, you ask him about it. Two, you do what you always do and overthink yourself into oblivion.”
“Three,” Alex adds, “you block him, move to a remote island, and live off coconuts for the rest of your life.”
“I hate both of you,” you mutter.
“No, you don’t,” Kika says sweetly. “Now, are you going to talk to him or not?”
“I don’t know,” you admit. “What if I ask and he laughs at me? Or worse, what if he doesn’t care?”
“Then you’ll know,” Alex says simply.
And that’s the crux of it, isn’t it?
Knowing.
Because right now, as painful as it is, not knowing still feels safer than finding out the truth.
“Thanks, guys,” you say finally.
“Anytime,” Kika says. “Now go stalk his Instagram and cry into your coffee like a normal person.”
“Bye,” you grumble, hanging up.
You stare at the ceiling for a long time after that, the ache in your chest refusing to fade.
—
So, you cut him off.
Not all at once, because that would be too obvious, and God forbid Carlos Sainz think you’re actually affected by anything he does.
No, you do it slowly, carefully, like easing out of a party you didn’t really want to attend in the first place.
At first, it’s just a delay in your replies. Not anything dramatic, just enough to make it seem like you’ve got better things to do than hang on his every word.
When he sends a text, you leave it unread for an hour. Maybe two.
(Okay, fine, sometimes you read it immediately and then stare at your phone for thirty minutes trying not to reply, but that’s beside the point.)
When you do respond, you keep it short. Curt, even. No emojis, no playful banter, just cold, functional sentences.
Carlos How’s your day going?
You Busy
Carlos Busy with what?
You Work
He doesn’t push, which is somehow worse.
You want him to notice, to ask what’s wrong, to demand answers you’re not prepared to give. But he doesn’t.
He just keeps texting you, the same way he always has, like nothing’s changed.
When he asks to call, you tell him you’re busy. Which is technically true, if “busy” includes reorganizing your spice rack and watching sad movies while eating ice cream straight out of the tub.
It’s not immediate, but it’s different.
The rhythm of your conversations shifts, the easy flow replaced by stilted exchanges that feel like wading through molasses.
The worst part is how much it hurts.
Because cutting him off isn’t supposed to hurt you. It’s supposed to make things better. Easier. Less messy.
But instead, you’re walking around like some tragic romantic hero, clutching your metaphorical wounds and waiting for someone to ask why you look so miserable.
You try to distract yourself.
You download a meditation app, but the soothing voice telling you to “release your tension” only makes you think about how Carlos used to tease you for clenching your jaw when you were stressed.
You go out with friends, laughing too loud and drinking too much, but every time your phone buzzes, you can’t stop yourself from hoping it’s him.
It usually is.
Carlos Did I do something
You Just busy
Carlos Are you mad at me
You No
You toss your phone onto the couch and stare at it like it’s personally betrayed you. He’s starting to notice, which is both validating and soul-crushing.
Because if he notices, then maybe, just maybe, he actually cares.
And if he actually cares, then maybe cutting him off isn’t the answer.
But then you remember the photo. The girl. The way he looked at her.
And you remind yourself that Carlos Sainz isn’t yours. He never was.
So you keep going.
You tell yourself it’ll get easier. That eventually, his texts will stop coming, and the ache in your chest will fade, and you’ll finally be free of whatever this is.
But for now, you’re just sad and tired and watching Pride & Prejudice for the third time this week, convincing yourself you’re Elizabeth Bennet and he’s Mr. Darcy, except there’s no grand declaration at the end.
There’s just silence.
—
It's one of those times where you answer Carlos' call so he doesn't think you're actively avoiding him.
You’re stretched out on your couch, half-listening as Carlos narrates the chaos of his day, his voice flitting between amusement and exaggerated frustration.
“…and then they tell me the setup’s wrong, again, so I had to sit there, listening to engineers argue for an hour. An hour! I’m telling you, I deserve a medal just for staying awake.”
“Tragic,” you reply, dry as ever. “Truly, you’re the unsung hero of motorsport.”
“Exactly!” he exclaims, his tone shifting as if you’ve validated some grand injustice. “Finally, someone understands.”
You hear the faint rustle of fabric, the soft creak of leather, and you know he’s probably leaning back in one of those expensive chairs he likes so much, the ones you tease him about.
It’s a scene you’ve imagined a thousand times—so familiar it borders on comforting.
“So,” he says, drawing out the word like he’s gearing up for something. “Guess where I am right now?”
“Let me think,” you say. “Some glamorous location with a ridiculous view and an overpriced minibar?”
“Close,” he says, and you can hear the grin tugging at his words. “I’m in Monaco.”
Your heart stumbles, just a little, just enough to be annoying, but you keep your voice casual. “Oh, the usual playground of the rich and famous. How very you.”
“Hey, it’s practically home,” he teases, and the warmth in his tone makes your stomach twist. “And speaking of home… aren’t you supposed to be here too? Isn’t that, like, the whole point of being Monegasque?”
You hesitate, just for a beat, but it’s long enough.
“…Wait,” he says, his voice sharpening with suspicion. “You’re not here, are you?”
“I’m in Italy,” you admit, aiming for breezy and landing somewhere closer to forced.
There’s a pause, the kind of silence that feels heavier than it should. “Italy?” he repeats, his voice carefully light, like he’s trying not to make something of it. “What are you doing there?”
“Just am,” you say, shrugging even though he can’t see it.
“Right,” he says slowly, and you can feel the weight of his thoughts pressing through the line.
He doesn’t push it, though, because Carlos is a lot of things, but he’s not the kind of person who asks questions he’s not ready to hear the answers to.
He shifts the conversation after that, steering it back to safer waters.
He tells you about a restaurant he tried, about the ridiculous amount of traffic on his way to the track.
You laugh in the right places, make snarky comments when it’s expected, and for a while, it feels almost normal.
But it’s not.
The photo lingers in the back of your mind like a ghost. Her hand on his chest, his easy grin, the effortless way they fit together.
You thought you could handle it. Thought you could keep things light and easy, pretend that the photo didn’t bother you, that you hadn’t spent an embarrassing amount of time dissecting every pixel like it held some kind of secret truth.
But now, sitting here, listening to him ramble on about his day like everything’s fine, you’re not so sure.
“Hey,” he says suddenly, breaking the flow of his own story. His voice is quieter now, more thoughtful. “You’ve been kind of… off lately. Is everything okay?”
Your breath catches, just for a second.
“I’m fine,” you say quickly, too quickly.
There’s a pause, just long enough for you to know he doesn’t believe you.
But he doesn’t call you on it. He just hums softly, like he’s letting you have this one.
The conversation winds down after that. He says something about an early meeting, and you use it as an excuse to end the call.
—
Carlos has a suspicion you’re avoiding him.
Or maybe, just maybe, Charles Leclerc has turned into some kind of shadowy mastermind, meticulously coordinating Carlos’s travel schedule just so he can keep you two apart.
It’s ridiculous, sure, but how else do you explain it?
When Carlos is in Monaco, you’re in Italy. When he’s in Italy, you’re in Mallorca. When he’s in Mallorca, you’ve suddenly jetted off to Switzerland, of all places.
It’s like you’ve taken on the role of “Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?” with unsettling precision, a game he didn’t even know he was playing until now.
At first, he tried to laugh it off.
Told himself it was just bad timing, a string of coincidences that would eventually break in his favor.
But now? Now it feels deliberate. Calculated. And the worst part is, he knows you. Knows you well enough to feel the subtle shift in the air between you, like a storm quietly gathering on the horizon.
He’s tried to tell himself he’s overthinking it.
That you’ve just been busy, that your life doesn’t revolve around him and his schedule.
But the excuses are starting to ring hollow, even to his own ears.
The delayed responses to his texts. The way your smile doesn’t quite reach your eyes when he finally does manage to catch you available for a call.
And now, sitting alone in his Monaco apartment, his phone resting on the coffee table in front of him like a lifeline you’ve left dangling just out of reach, Carlos can’t shake the weight that’s settled in his chest.
You’re pulling away.
The realization hits him like a punch to the gut, sudden and brutal.
He leans forward, elbows resting on his knees, his hands running through his hair as he stares at the floor.
His heart feels heavy, tangled up in a mess of confusion and hurt and something he doesn’t want to name.
Why? That’s the question that keeps circling back.
Why are you doing this? Why now, when he feels like he’s finally starting to understand just how much you mean to him?
His mind races, replaying every interaction, every conversation, searching for the moment he might’ve pushed you away without realizing it.
Did he say something? Did he not say enough?
“Dios,” he mutters under his breath, his voice thick with frustration.
He doesn’t want to think it, doesn’t want to believe it, but the thought won’t leave him alone: maybe you’ve finally gotten tired of him.
The idea makes his chest ache, a dull, hollow pain that spreads until it feels like it’s consuming him.
He doesn’t want to lose you, doesn’t want to let go of the quiet moments, the shared laughs, the way you make him feel like he can just be for once.
But what can he do? He can’t force you to stay, can’t make you want him if you don’t.
He picks up his phone, his thumb hovering over your name in his messages and sends a message before he chickens out.
Carlos Where are you right now?
You Still hoping for that coffee date, huh?
Carlos Always
You …Paris
Carlos frowns at his phone, and you can almost hear the mental gears grinding in his head. Paris. Of course, it’s Paris. Because why wouldn’t it be?
Carlos Okay, I’m going there.
Your phone buzzes immediately, the boldness of his response catching you off guard.
You What?
You ARE YOU SERIOUS???
Carlos Yes.
You Carlos, you can’t just drop everything and fly to Paris.
Carlos Watch me.
You stare at your phone, torn between laughing and rolling your eyes. This is insane. You text him back, unsure if you want to be mad or amused.
You This is insane.
Carlos No, it’s determination.
You It’s bordering on stalker behavior.
Carlos Then stop running from me.
You I’m not running!
Carlos You’re in a different country every time I blink. Sounds like running.
You It’s called having a life.
Carlos A life that conveniently never overlaps with mine. Carlos Got it.
You Carlos, I swear to God if you actually come here
He doesn’t reply. The silence settles in, and you think that’s the end of it. Carlos is too sensible to drop everything and fly to Paris, right? Right?
Wrong.
Three hours later, you’re in your hotel room, scrolling through your phone while you regret the third croissant you scarfed down earlier, when you hear a knock at the door.
You frown, setting your phone down. You weren’t expecting anyone.
Another knock, this time more insistent.
Curious, you peek through the peephole. And there he is.
Carlos Sainz.
Standing in the hallway, casually leaning against the doorframe, holding a bouquet of flowers like it’s the most normal thing in the world.
Your jaw drops.
You swing the door open before you can think better of it. “What are you doing here?”
Carlos shrugs, flowers in hand. “You said Paris.”
“That wasn’t an invitation!” you hiss, your eyes darting up and down the hallway as if expecting paparazzi to jump out from behind the elevator.
“Seemed like one to me,” he says, unfazed, like he’s the most logical person in the universe. “Besides, I brought flowers. That makes it okay.”
You stand there, staring at him, completely caught between laughing and slamming the door in his face. “This is… I don’t even have words.”
“‘Thank you’ works,” he suggests, stepping past you as if he has every right to be there, dropping onto the armchair with the ease of someone who’s been invited to stay.
“Excuse me-” you splutter, still holding the flowers, but too stunned to do anything with them.
Carlos stretches his legs out in front of him like he’s planning to stay a while. “Nice room. Cozy.”
“You can’t just-” You gesture wildly at him, still holding the flowers like they’re some kind of shield. “Carlos, this is insane!”
“What’s insane,” Carlos says, his voice slicing through the heavy silence, “is how hard you’ve been avoiding me.”
The words hit you like a sharp slap, cutting through the thin armor you’ve been clinging to.
You wince, his accusation landing squarely on the truth you’ve been trying so desperately to bury.
“I’m not avoiding you,” you say, but even as the words leave your mouth, they feel hollow.
A poor, pathetic attempt to cover up the obvious.
His eyes narrow. “Yes, you are,” he replies, his voice edged with a kind of raw frustration you’ve never heard from him before. “You’ve been avoiding me, pulling away like I’ve done something-”
He leans forward, his knuckles white from how hard he’s clenching them. “Did I do something? Tell me, please.”
You shake your head quickly, your chest tightening. “No, Carlos, you didn’t-”
“Don’t lie to me.” His voice cracks, rising just enough to make you flinch. There’s a tremor in his tone, something that tells you this isn’t just frustration- it’s pain.
Your mind races, heart pounding against your ribcage like it’s trying to escape. You can’t look at him.
You can’t meet his eyes because you know what you’ll see there: vulnerability. A rawness you’re too afraid to face.
“I told you, I’m not avoiding you,” you say again, but your voice wavers. The lie cracks as it leaves your lips.
Carlos exhales sharply, a bitter, humorless laugh escaping him. “Really? That’s what you’re going with? You’re not avoiding me? Because from where I’m standing, it sure as hell feels like you are.”
His voice lowers, softer now but no less piercing. “You’ve been ignoring my calls, dodging my texts. You won’t even look at me right now.”
He pauses, his voice dropping even further, his words so quiet they’re barely a whisper. “It’s like you’re disappearing right in front of me.”
“I’ve been busy,” you mumble weakly, knowing even as you say it how ridiculous it sounds.
“Busy,” he repeats, dragging the word out like it physically pains him to say it. “Right. Busy. Of course. That’s your excuse? That’s all you’ve got?”
You open your mouth to respond, but he steamrolls ahead, his voice rising in disbelief. “Do you think I’m stupid? Is that it? Like I haven’t noticed you pulling some kind of secret agent disappearing act every time I’m within a five-mile radius?”
“I’m not-”
“Oh, please!” he cuts you off, throwing his hands up dramatically. “When I was in Monaco, you were in Italy. When I was in Italy, you were in Mallorca. When I was in Mallorca, you went to Paris. I thought you cared about the planet!”
“I had a reason!” you defend weakly.
“Oh, sure. Let me guess. You were ‘busy.’” He uses air quotes this time, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Busy doing what? Hiding in the catacombs so I wouldn’t find you?”
“Carlos-”
“No, seriously! Are you Carmen Sandiego? Did you take on a secret job as an international spy and forget to tell me? Because at this point, that’s the only explanation that makes any sense!”
You can’t help it.
A small, nervous laugh escapes you, but it’s swallowed by the look he gives you, a mix of exasperation and something rawer, something vulnerable that wipes the humor from your face instantly.
“I’m serious,” he says, his voice quieter now, though no less intense. “Why are you doing this? What happened? Did I do something?”
“No!” you blurt out, the word rushing out of you like a reflex. “You didn’t do anything-”
“Then what?” he demands, stepping closer, his brows furrowed. “Why does it feel like every time I try to get close to you, you’re already halfway out the door? What is it? Did I say something? Did I forget something important? Did I-”
“Stop!” you snap, your voice louder than you intended, cutting him off mid-spiral. “You didn’t do anything, okay? It’s me!”
He freezes, his hands hovering in the air like he doesn’t know what to do with them. “What do you mean, it’s you?”
You take a deep, shaky breath, your heart pounding in your chest. “I can’t do this anymore, Carlos. I can’t keep pretending like this, like we, don’t mean more to me than it should.”
His brows knit together, confusion flashing across his face. “What are you talking about? What does that even mean?”
“It means I’m in love with you, okay?” you blurt out, the words tumbling out of you before you can stop them.
Your hands fly to your face, your voice shaking as you add, “Not as a joke. Not as a friend. Not in some ‘haha, Carlos is cute, what if’ kind of way. I’m in love with you, and it’s ruining me, and now I’ve said it, and- oh my God- I’m going to vomit-”
“Wait, what?” Carlos interrupts, his voice a mix of shock and something dangerously close to hope.
“You heard me!” you snap, your hands still covering your face as you pace in frantic little circles. “I’m in love with you, and now I’ve ruined everything, and you’re going to freak out and leave, and then I’ll have to fake my death and move to Antarctica and befriend a penguin colony-”
“Will you stop?” he cuts in, grabbing your arm to stop your pacing. “Just- stop for a second, okay?”
You yank your arm back instinctively, shaking your head. “No, I can’t stop! Because if I stop, I’m going to have to look at you, and if I look at you, I’m going to see the exact moment you decide this is too much, and you walk out of my life forever, and I’m not emotionally equipped for that-”
“Would you listen to me?” he shouts, his voice startling you into silence.
His hands fall to his sides, his eyes locking on yours with a desperate kind of intensity. “I’m not walking out of your life, okay? I’m not going anywhere. Jesus, do you really think so little of me?”
Your lip wobbles, your voice breaking. “You don’t get it. You’ll leave.”
He lets out a laugh. Sharp, exasperated, and a little unhinged. “I’m in love with you, you absolute idiot.”
You freeze. Your brain is refusing to process what he just said. “What?”
“I said I’m in love with you,” he repeats, louder this time, as if yelling the words will hammer them into your skull.
“Have been since the first night, I think. Do you honestly believe I’d fly halfway across the world, lose sleep, and spam you with dog pictures because I don’t love you?”
You stare at him, mouth agape. “You- what?”
“Yes!” he throws his hands up, pacing like he’s been holding this in for years and it’s physically painful to let it out. “God, how do you not see it? I thought I was being so obvious!”
Your brain is scrambling for any coherent thought, but instead, all you manage is: “Then who was that girl?”
Carlos blinks at you, mid-rant. “What girl?”
You fumble for your phone like you’ve been waiting for this exact moment to catch him red-handed.
Opening Instagram with trembling fingers, you shove the screen in his face, pointing at the offending photo. “This girl. The one on the yacht!”
He squints at the screen, then back at you, his brow furrowing.
“That’s my cousin, Marina.”
Your heart stops. “What?”
“My cousin,” he says again, slower this time, as though you might be hard of hearing. “She’s married to a guy named Tomás. I was literally holding her bag while she FaceTimed her kids.”
You gape at him, the ground beneath you threatening to swallow you whole. “Oh.”
Carlos stares at you, his mouth falling open. Then it clicks. “Oh my God. Is this why you’ve been avoiding me?”
“I wasn’t-”
“You were ghosting me because you thought I was on a yacht with my cousin?” he demands, his voice climbing into incredulous territory.
“It looked bad!” you squeak, the heat in your face making it impossible to look him in the eye. “I didn’t know she was your cousin! She was all- touchy!”
“She was showing me pictures of her dog!” he cries, like he can’t believe he’s having this conversation.
You clutch your head, feeling both humiliated and mildly hysterical. “I’m an idiot. I’m the biggest idiot alive.”
“No arguments there,” he mutters, running a hand through his hair, then fixing you with a look that’s somewhere between amused and exasperated. “You honestly thought I’d just…what? Post my side chick on Instagram for you to see?”
“I didn’t know what to think!” you snap, burying your face in your hands. “I panicked, okay? My brain spiraled!”
Carlos lets out a disbelieving laugh, pacing a tight circle like he’s trying to figure out how he got here. “So instead of asking me, you just…decided to ignore me? For weeks?”
“I said I panicked!” you groan, peeking at him through your fingers, mortified.
He stares at you for a beat, then pinches the bridge of his nose, muttering something under his breath in Spanish. “You’re lucky I love you, you know that?”
Your heart lurches, but you’re still too mortified to fully process it. “You can’t possibly still love me after this.”
“Oh, I can,” he says dryly, crossing his arms. “But I’m definitely telling Marina about this. She’s going to think it’s hilarious.”
“No!” you cry, lunging forward and grabbing his arm. “Carlos, I swear to God, if you tell your cousin-”
He grins, all smug amusement now, his earlier frustration melting away. “I’ll think about keeping it a secret. On one condition.”
“What condition?” you ask warily.
“You stop ghosting me,” he says simply, his voice softening as his eyes meet yours. “And maybe…start trusting me a little more?”
You let out a shaky breath, the weight of your own stupidity pressing down on you. “I’m sorry,” you whisper, looking at the floor. “I really messed this up.”
“Yeah, you did,” he agrees, but there’s no bite to his words. He tilts your chin up so you have no choice but to look at him. “But you can make it up to me. Dinner tomorrow?”
You nod, a small, embarrassed smile tugging at your lips. “Okay.”
“And for the record,” he adds, smirking, “if you ever ghost me again, I’m showing up with a mariachi band.”
You groan, shoving him lightly as he laughs, but you can’t help the warmth spreading through your chest. Somehow, against all odds, he’s still yours.
---
@lilorose25 @widow-cevans @mderby03 @zyklion @papichulomacy @irisesinthegarden @leclercdream @moonvr @ilovemeni @iamdedsthingz @shwnirwin @softhecreator @claimingharrystigertattoo @5sospenguinqueen @wadupppdylan-blog @waytooobsessedwithlife @weekendlusting
1K notes ¡ View notes