#which made me think of how flighty things can be

[princess-adronitis]

Cuckoo Bird

(And she began to recite my greatest fear) Unintentionally

what if you never find it ? She asked me

What if you flit from thing to thing

Never loving anything?

I bit my tongue and could only nod

I am like a bird I wanted to say

I never had a home anyways

Everything I loved I had no say

In when it gets taken away

Each finger broken to make an open palm

I surrendered up the word “belong”

Every home I had , I was forced to make

Every nest I had, I was forced to take

- Feb 26/24

jm

[petrichorium]

also on my hands and knees dying to know about ur divorce (and perhaps reconciliation maybe…) with sir croc

Firstly I wanna say croc is THE reason for the divorced tier I had everyone in the husband/fiance/bf (and cusp + complicated) tiers I had the list downloaded and then I looked at croc in the husband tier and I was like no. Divorced………

Anyway I think you’re a marriage of convenience at first. Crocodile needs a wife to look more like An Upstanding Citizen Ready To Settle Down for his plans in Alabasta, you need the stability and rapport for your own reasons. A deal was struck (including a nice shiny prenup and an easy way out for both of you), the wedding goes off without a hitch, and now you’re cohabitating.

You’re all but a stranger, truthfully, though he’ll admit you were one of the most beautiful brides he’s seen walking down the aisle. And he finds your presence in his home less distracting than expected—you stay out of his way mostly, though the pair of you eat meals together and sleep in the same bed and you are always expected to be on his arm for formal occasions. You’re more than decent company, slowly warming to him and growing more open; willing to give advice on occasion, even, and it’s good advice he’s prone to heeding.

Which is why he’s blindsided when you drop the papers on his desk. There’s little he can do—they were practically already signed before the wedding, and in the surprise he can’t compose himself enough to think up a proper protest. All he can do is fold his hands together as you turn to leave, clear his throat, and call out, “Might I ask why?”

You shrug. It almost seems sad. “I want something more. You’re a very busy man, I don’t think you can give that to me.”

And those words haunt him, all the more because every trace of you is gone in the span of a few days. He lays in his bed, alone, pondering how much you truly lived in his home and how much he truly had to give you. He thought he made sure you wanted for nothing—but, clearly, that wasn’t the case. And if he’d known you’d be gone in the span of a few years…

In hindsight perhaps he’d been a bit distant. His work took up the vast majority of his time. All those meals were more often than not spent in silence, with Crocodile leaving long before you finished your food; you were often asleep before he came to bed, still slumbering when he woke; he’d arrive to those formal events with you on his arm and part ways almost immediately, drawn to meet with some politician or another and leaving you on your own.

The bed feels empty.

And then he gets a report about Nefertari Vivi. It all goes downhill from there. The empire he spent years building crumbles beneath his feet, toppled by that godforsaken princess and the upstart pirate with a straw hat. And as he’s carted off to Impel Down… he still thinks of you.

It’s perhaps a good thing that you left when you did. In a certain sense it saved you, severing ties with him when you did. But foolishly he wonders about the timing—wonders if it would have happened at all if you’d stayed. Logically he knows the rationale is anything but sound.

Instinctively… whenever he gets out, whatever he intends to do next, he thinks he needs you at his side again.

So when the break-out happens, and Crocodile is given a freedom he’d nearly given up on, the first thing he does is begin to track you down.

It takes more than he thought it would. His web of informants isn’t half of what it once was, and his name no longer pulls as much weight, forced to remain in the shadows as he now is. You, meanwhile, catch onto the mystery person trying to keep tabs on you far too quickly for his liking—flighty thing, never quite setting down roots, quick to flee at the first sign of danger. A trait that has only seemed to worsen in his absence, it seems.

But it’s only a matter of time. He’s Sir Crocodile after all, back from banishment to the depths of the ocean, sure to see the sun again. His men close in on you within a year as he builds up his numbers again, but Crocodile ensures he’s the first to make contact.

He intends to show you immediately how things will be different this time.

You’ve made temporary home on a quaint little island, sharing a house with a little old granny who lets him in eagerly when he presents a bouquet and says it’s for you. There he waits, served tea and biscuits that he doesn’t taste.

And then the door opens. You pause when you see him, eyes wide—donning a breezy sundress you’d never have worn for him in Alabasta, your hair wind-tousled so unlike the meticulous updos he always saw you in, with a basket of produce under arm—and the sight of you has his chest unwinding. It’s like he can breathe again.

Not that he had any intentions to before, but the smell of your familiar perfume steels his resolve to never let you disappear again.

[too-much-tma-stuff]

Healing is Slow, but Inevitable (part 7)

Previous | Masterpost

“So, what are you?” Jason asked about a week after the meeting with Batman, a few days after Dick left again after his unscheduled weekend visit, and they hadn’t really talked about it. Danny had been flighty and tense for days afterwards so Jason hadn’t wanted to bring it up. Now that Danny seemed calm again, curled up in bed with him after a decent day and some great sex, it seemed like the best time he was going to get. 

Danny sighed and turned his head to hide his face against Jason’s shoulder for a moment, but he stayed relaxed and he wasn’t running, which were good signs. “I was kept prisoner for almost two years by the Ghost Investigation Ward, what do you think I am,” Danny muttered a little bitterly. 

“But you’re not a ghost, right? I mean you eat, and sleep and I can feel your heartbeat right now,” Jason said, pressing his hand Danny’s chest, where his heart was indeed beating, slower than most people’s but that was normal for Danny. Then, right under Jason’s hand, Danny’s heart stopped beating. 

Jason panicked and pulled back only for Danny to catch his wrist and keep his hand there, Danny pushed himself up a little and stared down at Jason. He seemed fully alive, and fine, even though his heart still wasn’t beating under Jason’s hand. Danny sighed and lay back down, the feeling of a heartbeat returning under Jason’s hand, he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

“I’m what’s called a Halfa. It’s a stupid name but I’m not going to come up with a new one. It’s not entirely accurate either, since I’m both 100% alive, and 100% dead.” He saw the lost look on Jason’s face and backed up quickly to explain more. “There’s a place called the Ghost Zone, or the Infinite Realms, it’s a world between worlds that links to every living world and contains every afterlife.” He was tracing little patterns on Jason’s chest as he talked. “Portals open to it in other worlds sometimes, natural things that form and collapse again quickly. 

“Halfas are made when one of those portals happen to open, directly on top of and into, a living person. It kills them, then because of the power of the realms their soul forms a ghost immediately, resurrects them and slams that fully formed ghost back into the living body, bonding them back together and creating a living-ish, ghost. I’m the only true halfa in existence right now, and I’m… unique, even for my kind. Because the portal that made me was the first man-made one, it was far more stable and more powerful than the natural ones, meaning that I got a double dose of energy.

“Halfas are already a powerful species, the perfect balance between life and death, a bridge between worlds partially immune to the weaknesses of both. But I’m strong even compared to other halfas, at least that’s what I’m told by the Ancients. Like I said, I’m the first one in about five thousand years, and the only one in existence right now, so I’ve never exactly met someone else like me.” 

“Holy shiit,” Jason whispered before falling silent. He started to comb his fingers through Danny’s hair so he would know Jason wasn’t upset or mad as he took a while to process all Danny had told him. “You don’t have to talk about it but if you’re that powerful then… how did the GIW manage to capture you?”

“My parents were the ones who captured me,” Danny murmured, hiding his face against Jason’s neck. Jason’t breath caught in his throat. “They were ghost hunters all my life, they built the portal but I didn’t want to hurt them. I was still trying to talk to them, to convince them I really was still their son. Then the GIW found out they had me and demanded my parents hand me over. When my parents refused and tried to defend ‘their discovery’ The GIW just… blew up the house. Because of my powers I survived, no one else did. While I was still in shock they took me.

“It broke my heart, in a literal sense. I want to show you something,” He said and sat up again, legs crossed. Jason sat up as well, mirroring Danny’s position and watching him curiously. “Humans have organs and brains and all those squishy, meaty bits. Ghosts have a core, it contains everything we are, everything else will just reform around it as long as the core is undamaged.” He pressed his hands against his own chest and after a moment, he drew something out. 

It was an orb of what looked like blue stone, but it was cracked, pretty extensively, in a similar pattern of cracking to Danny’s lightning scar. “What they did, it cracked my core,” Danny said looking down at it baleful. “Literally broke me. If I was a full ghost it would have destabilized and ended me, my humanity kept me together. Which just meant more for them to experiment on,” He said with a bitter little laugh. 

“Danny,” Jason murmured, a heartbroken little sound as he sat forward and reached towards Danny. Danny tensed, and looked fearful for just a moment, but he didn’t pull away. Instead he opened his hands and held his core, his heart, out towards Jason. With permission Jason traced the branching pattern gently with a finger, it felt cool and smooth under his fingers, energy tingling in his fingertips and the cracks rasping slightly against Jason’s calluses. Danny shuddered and gasped as all the tension bled out of him under Jason’s gentle touch, his eyes fell closed, and his expression was peaceful now.

“It’s been getting better,” Danny said, opening his eyes again after a moment and looking up at Jason adoringly. “Since I met you, you gave me purpose again and I can feel the cracks healing, it’s slow, but it was always going to be.” 

Jason pulled his hand back and Danny pressed his core back to his chest. “I’m glad you’re healing. You’ve been helping me a lot too, healing is always slow, but we’ll do it together. And you’ll tell me if I ever make it worse, or if there’s anything I can do to help won't you?” 

“Ya we will, but I think I’m well enough to face the GIW soon. I’ll start looking for them along with your people. If they’re still around I don’t think it will take me that long to find them,” Danny told Jason softly. “As for helping, just don’t leave me, and don’t die. I don’t want to think about what I could become without you to ground me.”

“I’m not going anywhere, and I’ll be right there with you when we take down the GIW. I won’t let anyone hurt you. I love you,” Jason promised, pulling Danny back against his chest.

“I love you too,” Danny sighed, snuggling against Jason tiredly.

-----------

Danny hadn’t been kidding when he said he would be able to find the GIW quickly when he started to look. It turned out that the GIW were sort of using ghosts in their firewall? It made it next to impossible for regular people to find, or hack it, but made it all the easier for Danny to track down. He found five bases besides the one that he had destroyed during his escape. Which was more than Jason had expected, though none of them seemed to be that big. According to the files two had ‘specimens’, so they were going to hit those two first and free whatever free whatever poor souls were still trapped there.

Jason had yet to leave Crime Alley since his takeover of the turf, but it would have to happen eventually. They would only be gone for one, maybe two days so it was a good first test. 

They had a basic plan; break in and rely on stealth till they had located the prisoners, release them, then cause as much damage and havoc as they could on the way out. Danny would be the power house, taking the chance to really let loose in a way he hadn’t in a long time. Jason would follow and plant explosives so once they got out they would leave nothing to salvage. 

They had a bit of a discussion about when to go. During the night there would be fewer people there making it safer to break in, but the disadvantage of that was they would take out fewer GIW agents. The fewer of those assholes still walking the earth the less likely it was anyone would come for Danny. There would be no one to continue the cycle of violence if everyone else was dead. In the end they still decided to go at night. If only because they would be less likely to walk in on someone actively being tortured, which would be too much for Danny. They needed to avoid Danny having a panic attack in enemy territory if at all possible.

So Jason wrangled his people into readiness to be left alone and keep things ticking over, and told a few selected people where they were headed in the unlikely case they needed rescue. Jason had started planning a ride too, since unlike the Bats they didn’t have their own private jet. But Danny told him there was no need, just get them out of Gotham and Danny could handle the rest. Jason was curious about what he meant by that, but when he asked Danny gave him the cheeky smile that promised it was a surprise Jason would like. Jason decided to wait and see.

Once they were ready they left Gotham at Sunset, Danny on the back of Jason’s bike with his arms tight around his waist and pressed against his back. Normally when they rode like this Jason could feel Danny’s vibrating purr against his back but today Danny was still and silent, probably too tense to purr. Jason understood, no matter what they found or how well this went it was bound to be triggering as hell. Danny was walking right back into one of the facilities where he had been experimented on and tortured. Jason didn’t think there was anything he could say to make Danny feel better, so he mostly stayed quiet and let Danny think his thoughts. 

“Okay, we’re far enough away I think. Pull over please, far enough that we won’t be easily seen from the road. I haven’t done this in… more than a year, I’m not totally sure how it’s going to go,” Danny said suddenly and Jason nodded, looking for a place to pull off the road and into the woods. Finding a good place to hide his bike, and themselves for whatever Danny was planning on doing.

Jason found a place to park his bike and let Danny get off before him, once they were off he laid the bike down where it wouldn’t be easily found, and turned on his personal tracker so he would be able to find it later. “Alright, ready when you are. I’m looking forward to seeing what you’ve been so mysterious about,” Jason encouraged his boyfriend, taking off his motorcycle helmet to switch it for his Red Hood one.

Danny nodded and took a few steps back and took a deep breath, “I really haven’t done this in years. Not since I escaped for the first time. It made it easier for them to track me,” Danny explained before he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. 

As Jason watched Danny started to change, not all at once, but the appearance Jason knew started to flicker and fade in patches. It looked like he was molting, and like a computer glitching, leaving him looking… different. The shape of the costume was a lot like his Hyena get-up, but it was entirely monochrome, and this Hyena had been dead for a long time. The suit was black with start-white protruding ribs wrapped around his chest like armor, white knee and elbow pads, and a white stripe down the front of his boots added to the skeletal effect. Danny’s mask had turned from a muzzle to a Hyena skull with a tuft of white hair showing above it. When Danny opened his eyes they were pits of toxic green glowing from behind the Hyena’s empty eye sockets. 

Jason would have frozen up completely, if he hadn’t noticed Danny was swaying slightly. Jason jumped forward just in time to steady Danny before he could fall. Danny leaned against him, he felt cooler than usual and… insubstantial in an odd way. 

“That felt different then it used to,” Danny murmured, putting a hand to his forehead. He felt the mask and blinked before glancing down at himself. “Huh, I knew this form was connected to emotions and shit, but I didn’t expect it to change this much,” He murmured, running his hands over the mask and then back through his hair, pushing his hood back to show his hair was all white now, and moving like it was underwater. 

“What… is this?” Jason asked, combing his fingers through Danny’s hair which felt like the softest, unmelting, fresh fallen snow between his fingers.

“My ‘ghost form’. I told you I was as dead as I was alive, this is my dead form,” Danny said gesturing down as himself before fully gaining his footing and standing up on his own. He took off the mask (Jason was far more relieved then he’d admit that Hyena skull was a mask, he hadn’t been sure) and smiled at him. Danny still looked very much like himself, though his mouth was wider, his teeth were sharper and his skin had the very distinct deathly pallor of a frozen corpse. 

Jason gave a considering hum and cupped Danny’s face, leaning down to kiss him. His lips felt cool and there was no pulse against Jason’s lips, but they were soft and Danny kissed back with the same sweetness as always. “You look badass as hel,l Moonlight,” Jason told Danny who blushed a soft blue and smiled at him, pulling him back in for another quick kiss.

“Alright, like this I can get us to the base,” Danny said, pulling the mask back on before his feet lifted off the ground and he hovered a few feet up. “Carrying you should be no problem, we’ll be silent, and if needed I can cloak us. We just have to land a ways out because I’m sure they have ghost detectors and shields. I’ll have to change back to get through. Sounds good?”

“Sounds great,” Jason agreed easily. He’d been around the Supers for years as a kid, he was used to being carried like that.

“Great,” Danny cheered, swooping over Jason and grabbing him under the arms and lifting him up with no apparent effort. He held Jason as they took off towards base, Danny flew fast but Jason’s helmet protected his eyes from the wind so it was fine.for Danny to change back into his human form. It looked like reversed timelapse footage of a flower losing its petals. Jason watched in awe as the man he knew and loved reformed around this odd, pale being. 

When it was done Danny shook out his limbs and rolled his head on his neck like he was having to resettle himself in his body before he nodded firmly once. “Alright, let’s go,” Danny said, checking his mask one more time.

Jason nodded and made a hand sign to advance, reminding Danny from here on they wouldn’t be using words. Danny nodded and fell in just behind Jason as they approached the facility. They had found a weak point in the plans for ventilation and used that to get in. This place was clearly designed to keep things in more than out, and not with humans in mind, it was almost embarrassingly easy to sneak in. They hid as a couple of agents walked by, assholes in white coats and dark glasses, edgy as hell and obviously overly full of themselves. Jason was looking forward to ripping through them on the way back out.

As they moved through the building Jason planted bombs at strategic locations ready to be detonated once they had cleared the facility of anyone who actually deserved to live. They didn’t want to leave anything standing. The less of the information and weapons that survived to potentially fall into the wrong hands, the better.

In the labs on the lower floors they found a few ‘blob ghosts’ as Danny called them, and a bunch of equipment, a couple of which Danny helped himself to. Jason didn’t bother because he didn’t know what any of this stuff was, they’d probably do more harm than good in his hands. 

Deeper in the labs they found a few proper ghosts too, locked in cells Jason managed to hack and get open. Danny darted in and started murmuring softly to a woman he called Ember, and who called him Babypop with shock and grief before he used one of the tools he’d stolen to open some sort of portal and sent her on. He found a thing he called Shadow, but that one didn’t talk, and Jason didn’t see it though he believed Danny that it was there. Danny used the portal gun to send them on too.

They were reaching the end of the facility and Jason was glad they’d only found two sentient beings, he would have much preferred None but it could have been a lot worse. This was the largest facility so if they only had two actual ‘ghosts’ the others would probably have one at most. 

They moved through the rest of the labs quickly, staying just long enough to clear them of anyone who might be held there, but not lingering over metal tables, scalpels, lasers, and saws. Jason was trying not to think about Danny strapped down to one of those, cut open and either begging them to stop or dissociating and staring, he wasn’t sure which would be worse. 

Finally they reached the deepest room in the facility, Jason was expecting another lab, until he saw the security pad at the door. The previous labs had been in a complex, no codes or cards needed to get into each individual one once you were on the floor. What was special about this lab? The security was decent too, nowhere near as easy to get through as previous doors. 

“Keep watch Hyena, this is going to take a minute,” Jason murmured into their mic and Danny nodded, flitting to the end of the hall to keep watch while Jason worked on the security. 

It took him about fifteen minutes and thankfully no one came around, they must have hourly patrols or something. Danny glanced over at the sound of the door unlocking and Jason nodded, gesturing for him to come. He stepped inside, getting the full view of a room full of wires, monitoring equipment, and what looked like a cloning tube or stasis pod. Holy shit was the GIW somehow in league with CADMUS?

There was a girl floating in the tube, maybe fourteen or fifteen, small for her age. Her hair was black but he couldn’t see much else. He heard Danny come into the room behind him and let out a soft gasp.

“Oh god,” Danny breathed softly. Jason looked over at Danny expecting to see his own surprise reflected in Danny’s face. No, he was shocked, yes, but he looked heartbroken and horrified. There was absolutely recognition there. “Ellie.”

[cherie-doll]

Coming from your last post

what kind of a man do you take graves to be? he's mostly assumed to be some flightly guy but i guess you see some 'sweetheart' in that man? do you think he could comfort/help someone lets say struggling emotionally, or would you see him incapable of affection/emotional support? could he be protective?

maybe a little headcanons about his sweet side, if you believe it exists? (felt that way about the kiss headcanons a bit eheh)

he's babygirl to me

I don't think he's flighty but he seems that way because he thinks internally first, "What makes sense to me?" and then acts according to that, his mind works this way because he is confident in his smart and logical background (not to say we are all prone to impulsiveness at times, some more than others)

And he's caring about others and it shows in his decisions, it's obvious he cares about those who work near him and around him, he's a pleasant person to be around and is overall perceived as nice on the surface

Now, when it comes to relationships; he is bold and won't hesitate to flirt when "testing the waters", once he has an established relationship, however, he is straightforward and focused on maintaining that relationship and be deeper and more intimately involved as long as you're on the same track with him

now that we're through with the nitty gritty of it, it's time for the fun stuff

Most people deal with his straightforward style and manner, but the act comes clean off the moment he arrives home

He wishes to give you everything a man could give and more

You're like his coffee in the morning, having you after the glowing sunrays wake him up little by little, you're his favorite plate of which he could enjoy from at any moment of the day and still not have enough of

He'll be sitting at the dining table eating something you've made for him, and whilst your back is to him, maybe washing dishes or something, he'll sneak up behind you, snake an arm around your waist and peppering kisses on your nape all the while begging for you to go to bed with him, he's tired and wants to rest next to you

And this man LOVES it when you cook for him, especially if you find out what his favorite food is and you made it for him???

Casual affection in public like his hand placement on your lower back when guiding you or walking next to you, kisses to the side of your head, reaching for your hand and flashing the diamond ring for everyone to see with a proud smile on his face

If it's your anniversary or some important date or maybe when he just feels like it he'll go over the top, he can go all out for surprises and gifts for you because he can :)

I'd say he's reasonably protective of you, he knows much you can handle and when you might need him to step in, he can't help but worry if you don't answer his calls after he's dialed your number like three times and you don't answer

And when he takes you on dates he adores it when you get all dressed up and nice looking for him, he'll call you beautiful constantly and wonder how he got so lucky

And sometimes it's not always a candlelit dinner, he's explored more rural parts and likes taking you on a 2-3 hour drive through his favorite parts of the countryside

Will pack some sleeping bags, pillows and blankets to set up and stay enveloped in your embrace, stargazing in your eyes, admiring the silver stars

He enjoys waking up to see that golden morning sun barely peeking above the horizon line, smell the smoke that has adhered to your clothing from last night's fire, holding you close to feel your heartbeat

Feeling as if he can now rest awhile, his mornings and nights used to be all the same until he met you

His creative ways of telling you he loves you is saying he'll love you until the sun falls from the sky, and Phillip never wants things to get in the way of him saying that

[makochi-furin]

Hii hii! I hope your doing okay today or tonight, I was wondering if you could write something for dazai (idm if it’s scenario, hc or mix of it and if you add another character you really want to write about).

The request basically is; a reader who finally told Dazai about their past abuser, how they got away with no consequences (who reader mentioned seeing sometimes in the city) and later said abuser goes to the agency on behalf their company to investigate missing items.

Stuff like this is really comforting for me so thank you if you do it :D I hope I put in enough detail for you to work with.

DAZAI AND CONSEQUENCES

A/N: baby, I’m so sorry, but this is long asf and I got a lil carried away💀 I’m also sorry it took a bit to get out. I work in a nursery, so I work 12 hours shifts, and this got to me slam in the middle of my first one (out of three in a row). If this isn’t what you wanted, you can send me in another ask :) But I hope you like it

WARNING(s): reader was in a physically abusive relationship in the past, mentions of PTSD, canon-typical violence, mentions of panic attacks, pissed off dazai, reader is a girl

—I'm gonna assume this is like a pt. 2 of this writing, but it can stand alone, too :)

—We all know Dazai is megamind over here. He sees EVERYTHING. Nothing goes unnoticed by him (which you probably find a little annoying, tbh, but oh, well). It's especially annoying when he knows things about you that you don't necessarily want him to know

—HOWEVER, if it's something that you physically and emotionally feel like you cannot talk about, like it brings you distress and discomfort, he's very unlikely to push you about it. Let's be honest, this man's probably never even told you the name of his parents. You don't even know if Dazai Osamu IS his real name, so he knows he hasn't got room to talk

—I feel like if Dazai noticed something about your mannerisms, or the way you act that very obviously speaks to past trauma, he'd ask you about it, like in my previous writing. If you're unable or unwilling to talk about it, he drops it. He SO desperately wants to know, but he cares for you too much to put you in any sort of emotional distress by pushing it

—When you do decide to open up to him, he's all ears. He knows how hard it is to speak about the shadows of your past, and he honestly is just so flattered that you trust him (he can't believe it, lmao. Like, three people in his life truly trust him) enough to tell him about it

—You were sitting on the edge of the bathtub in Osamu's apartment, absently watching him comb through his wet hair. The two of you had showered together, and you couldn't help but notice over the months of your relationship how much he had changed.

Osamu was flighty at first, and very distrustful. He wasn't a fan of placing himself in vulnerable positions. Not just to you, but to anyone. Yet, when you'd gently brought up his lack of self care, and how it made you sad to see the person you loved think so little of themselves, a change happened.

You helped, of course. At first, you reminded him to brush his teeth when he forgot, and then you began combing his hair. You'd point out when it was time to change his bandages, and call him to bed at an acceptable time because you knew he'd just stay up until the early hours of the morning (if he slept at all). Together, you two had even begun cooking meals, and he'd started to fill out a little bit.

Now, he made sure to do all of those things, even if you didn't remind him/cook with him, because he felt better, yes, but also because he could see how happy it made you.

He was still suffering from chronic depression, of course. You knew you couldn't fix that, and were thinking about gently bringing up a therapist to him, but he had gotten so much better. Even his coworkers noticed it.

Osamu dragged a comb through his brown waves, eyes narrowed as he focused intently on it. It meant so much to you. How could he not focus on it?

You knew it, too. He would've never made these changes for himself, but he had begun to trust that you had his best interest at heart. A few weeks ago, he'd even opened up about some of his own traumas surrounding Mori and the Port Mafia, about his best friend, Oda Sakunosuke.

Osamu trusted you.

That was why it felt so wrong to keep your own past from him, because he was finally starting to open up. You feared if you didn't return the favor, he'd wilt again. More so, you'd recently been catching yourself let parts of the story slip. Subconsciously, you wanted so badly to tell him.

"What are you thinking so hard about?" He asked lightly, brown eyes sparkling with so much affection that it had your breath catching. Osamu was watching you from the mirror.

You blinked, realizing you'd been out of it for a moment, lost in thought. In your lap, you fiddled with your fingers. Part of you wanted to shut down as your heart plummeted at the thought of reliving the worst of it...

But the way he looked at you, like you hung the sun and the stars, like he felt such fondness for you that 'I love you' simply didn't cut it...

It was time to tell him.

"Can... Can we talk?" you asked, surprised by the softness of your voice. It was almost ashamed, but you knew you shouldn't feel shame for what had happened to you.

Only, you were so scared he'd feel ashamed of you.

Osamu was a great aim, and he was smart as a whip, and he was oddly strong for his thin figure. He'd never let himself stay in the sort of situation you did. He'd fight back.

You felt so small.

He turned to look at you, leaning back on the bathroom counter. His eyes were gentle and knowing, and you couldn't tell if you were upset that he already knew what this was about, or relieved. "Of course," he said with a little smile, squatting down in front of you and taking your hands in his. "What about?"

You gulped, knowing there was no turning back now. If you told him this, you'd be trusting him with probably the worst part of your life. Even imagining it, the past with him, made you sick to your stomach.

You knew you'd backtrack if you didn't just rip it off like a bandaid.

"I overreact to things sometimes," you whispered, and he squeezed your hands. "I'm sure you've noticed it."

"I wouldn't use the word 'overreact.'"

You chewed on your lips nervously, staring into his eyes. Thankfully, all you saw there was understanding, but it was still so hard. "My ex beat me. For years... Anytime I did... anything, pretty much. It was bad." Your voice cracked as you continued, tears welling in your eyes. "I couldn't see my family... I ended up in the ER a few times. He broke me, Osamu. He had me convinced I'd never trust another man."

You waited with baited breath for his reaction, trying to hold in the tears. Your eyes stung and your breathing was speeding up into gasps, because you hadn't even told your family or closest friends the full extent of it.

Osamu looked oddly calm, but at the sight of your fallen tears, he got up to sit beside you. Wrapping an arm around your shoulders, he pulled you in close, flush against him, and kissed your temple. "Breathe, baby. It's all right now," he whispered, squeezing you close.

You couldn't stop it now, though. What had been building up since you left your ex was being released right here, right now. There was no turning back. Hot tears rolled down your cheeks and clouded your eyesight. Subconsciously, you grabbed his shirt in a tight grip and squeezed until your hand ached.

"He beat the shit out of me, and nothing ever happened," you continued, the anguish in your voice now laced by anger. "He broke my collarbone... my jaw—my ribs and my wrist. He made me feel like an ant, like I was so small, and I still feel that way now, and even after I left him... I'm still suffering, but he gets to go about his life like it was nothing. I couldn't even go to the police—he said he'd kill me," you got out through gasps, squeezing your eyes closed as your vision had started to darken at the edges, anyways.

Osamu's eyes flashed with something you didn't recognize, but all he knew to do was pull you in tighter. He placed a hand on your head and pulled you into his chest, and you certainly weren't trying to resist.

"It's not fair," you added, knowing how childish you sounded. Nothing was ever fair. Here you were, saying all this to a man who had probably done much worse than just break people's bones, complaining about fairness.

You weren't a child. You knew life wasn't fair, but that didn't mean it didn't fucking suck that it wasn't.

"Sometimes, I still see him, you know... In town, I—" You had to stop, otherwise you'd make it worse for yourself.

He held you close, rubbing your back and gently scratching your scalp as he whispered for you to breathe. Osamu knew you were about to land neck deep into a panic attack.

Eventually, he did get you calmed down. He got you to bed, made you a mug of hot chocolate, and read to you for about thirty minutes before you were able to catch your breath, his smooth voice calming you better than any benzo could.

In the end, you two lied down together, your back pressed to his front. The bandaged arm that was wrapped around your waist felt like a safety blanket. You were sure you'd be embarrassed about your outburst tomorrow, but for right now, you simply soaked up the feeling of him wrapped around you so snugly.

"You're not small," he whispered to you, and that was the last thing you remembered before passing out.

—Dazai doesn't seem different to you afterwards, in that he doesn't act differently towards you. You were worried at first that he'd see you differently, that he'd see you as being as weak as you saw yourself, but it was the furthest thing from. He respects the hell out of people who can go through such terrible things, and yet come out so kind, so good

—While he doesn't seem different, inwardly you can bet he's raging. Dazai is PISSED OFF, more than he's been in years. He's made great progress, but let's not forget that Dazai can be a cruel mf. He's got a darkness in him that he doesn't want you to see, but it is definitely there

—He doesn't press you for anymore details, but he can't help himself. He digs. He uses his brilliance to find out who the guy is, who his name is, and any time he feels even a slight bit of guilt at digging into your past life without your knowledge, he reminds himself of the injuries you listed.

—You thought he'd forget the things you admitted during your confession? PLEASE. He needs to know everything about this fucking piece of work. If he has a photo, he might even text it to Chuuya, along with a message "wanted alive," and you best bet Chuuya takes it seriously (even if he hates Dazai, lmao) because just by LOOKING at the photo of this guy, everyone can tell he's an asshole. And you still see this mf sometimes? Man is RAGING

—Dazai stands on business, because seeing you so torn up about it physically hurts him. It makes his heart ache every time he remembers you in that state. He can't fucking stand it, and he has to do something about it

—Your words about it being unfair haunt him in his nightmares. You're right to a degree: the world isn't fair. However, Dazai knows that if it takes him a million years, he's gonna make this shit fair

—Then, what do you know, one day he's at the office and Atsushi comes strolling in with a Manila folder and the piece of shit, himself. There he is, practically served to Dazai on a silver platter

—"This is Tanaka Jiro," Atsushi chirped, missing the way Dazai's eyes widened when he saw the new client. "He's here on behalf of the engineering company that got broken into last night."

Dazai sat up in his chair, staring right at the man who had the gall to make you feel small and weak. His eyes darkened, and then he slowly smiled. It wasn't happy or gentle, or even playful and teasing.

He smiled like Mori smiled.

In that moment, if his coat was black instead of tan, he'd look the picture of his younger, crueler self. He supposed that part of him never went away, always there just at the edge of his subconscious.

He promised Odasaku that he'd push it away, that he'd do good. However, he felt that even Odasaku, his kind friend, would understand the necessity of it now.

Immediately, he jumped out of his chair and made his way over. His hand landed on Atsushi's hair, giving it a playful ruffle. As he looked at him, his eyes softened. "Maa, Atsushi-kun. You work too hard, you know. I'll take this case for you."

Atsushi stared at him with obvious shock, eyes wide and jaw on the floor, because Dazai never, ever volunteered to work. If anything, he complained about it like a child.

"D-Dazai-san?" he breathed, in disbelief. It looked like he thought someone had killed the real Dazai, and was now acting in his place.

"Ah, ah," Dazai chirped, shoving Atsushi away. "Go do normal teenager things. Flirt, make friends," his voice trailed off as his gaze slid to Tanaka, your ex, and the smirk lifted his lips once more, eyes flashing dangerously, "all of that."

"O-Okay," Atsushi mumbled, still in shock. He recovered quickly, smiling brightly at Tanaka. "Dazai-san is a very good detective, Tanaka-san. You're in good hands!" he promised.

Tanaka smiled back, and seeing the bastard have the audacity to smile had Dazai seething internally.

Maybe, he'd take all his teeth, so that he could never smile again.

"Thank you for your help, Nakajima-kun," Tanaka said, nodding.

As Atsushi walked off, Dazai tilted his head to the side, his plan already formed. "Follow me to answer some questions, and then I'll begin investigating right away."

—For Dazai's plan to pay off, he needs to figure out who broke into the company. It wasn't a planned event, and he quickly figured out the guy who did it probably had no connection to the company (probably just a low down thief looking for some quick cash), which made it more difficult. It was the sort of not-really-a-big-deal crime that the agency would usually put on the back burner (the only reason it even came to them was because the thief was figured to be gifted), but Dazai worked tirelessly at it

—He interviewed people, looked over documents from dusk to dawn, and just generally put in a hell of a lot more effort for this than he usually would for some petty theft

—You probably even notice how hard he's working. There are bags under his eyes and he's back to not taking very good care of himself, but when you ask about it (obviously worried), he just smiles gently, kisses you, and assures you that he'll have this case figured out in no time. He doesn't want you anywhere near this

—When he does find the criminal, their interaction goes something like this:

"I know you did it. Give me the shit you stole, and I'll let you off."

"Bet."

—He has this part meticulously planned out. While your ex is in work one day, Dazai plants the stolen items in his car, and then calls the company security

—He watches with glee as he's dragged from the building, kicking and screaming like an enraged toddler, and fired on the spot. Your ex's livelihood? Gone. Phase one? Completed

—Dazai sat at his desk with a satisfied smile, chin resting in the palm of his hand as he counted down in his head. Everyone else is entrenched in their own workloads, barely even noticing the malicious sparkle in Dazai's eyes.

Soon enough, the door bursted open, and your ex came running in. His eyes were rimmed red, like he'd been crying, and he was flushed all over from rage. "What the fuck did you do?!" he demanded, pointing at Dazai.

"What do you mean?" he asked innocently, standing and walking over with the same smile.

Everyone else stopped what they were doing, watching the scene with widened, or curious eyes. This sort of thing didn't happen much at the ADA.

"You know what the fuck I mean, you piece of shit!" Tanaka screamed in his face, and it only made Dazai's smile widen. When he saw this, he hissed, "I think we should take this outside."

"Hold on," demanded Atsushi, immediately standing from his desk, along with Kyouka and Kenji.

Dazai didn't even look at them, staring into Tanaka's eyes, as he held up his hand to stop them in their tracks. The smile melted off his face, replaced by a cold glare and lips pressed into a line. "I'm fine," he assured them, light tone not at all matching his expression.

"But—Dazai-san," Atsushi mumbled, eyes flickering between Dazai and Tanaka.

"You guys are so dramatic," Ranpo said with a roll of his eyes, absently watching the scene from his desk, which his feet were propped up on. "Dazai-kun said it's fine."

Dazai tilted his head mockingly at Tanaka. "Are we going outside?"

That, they did. Tanaka stomped down the stairs and through the cafe, out onto the crowded streets of Yokohama.

Dazai followed, of course, even as Tanaka led him towards a darkened alleyway, obstructed from the view of the general public. Inwardly, he thought that this guy was making it way too easy. He was an idiot.

Tanaka stared at the dead end wall for a minute, and then let out a cry of rage, turned on his heel, and began running at Dazai with his arm pulled back and his hand clenched into a fist.

Nonplussed, Dazai side stepped it, loving every minute of the surprise on Tanaka's face. "What? Did you think fighting someone your own size would be as easy as beating on a girl?"

That had Tanaka freezing immediately. "What the fuck are you talking about?" he growled out, and Dazai almost laughed at his attempt to be menacing and scary.

Right on time, a black SUV pulled up. He might not be in the mafia anymore, but Dazai had plenty of contacts from it. When masked men jumped out of the vehicle, surrounding Tanaka, Dazai smirked at the look of pure terror on his face.

"Don't play dumb. You aren't handsome enough to pull it off," he said lightly, and then laughed as Tanaka tried to call for help.

He was knocked out before he could.

When he awoke, eyes all bleary and with a searing headache, he was in a big, dark warehouse. It was old and beaten, with leaking pipes and creaky doors. He was sitting in a chair, hands cuffed together behind him.

Tanaka screamed.

Dazai walked in front of him casually, hands tucked into his pockets. "Scream all you like. No one will hear you," he said.

"Why are you doing this?! Who even are you, man?!" Tanaka cried, the tears falling down his cheeks. He looked so pathetic.

Dazai loved every second of it.

He hummed, walking forward until he was right in front of the bastard, footsteps echoing around the wide open space. Grabbing a fist full of Tanaka's hair, Dazai yanked his head back, so he'd be looking up at him, so he could see the icy glare, the hate.

"You hurt someone I'm very fond," Dazai said softly, tilting his head. "You hurt someone I love... And ever since she told me, I've been thinking of ways to make it fair for her. It's all I've thought about.

"She's not like you and me, you know. She's kind. She's sweet. She's good. You," Dazai scoffed, "you're pathetic. A man who has to beat defenseless women to feel good about himself is no man." When he leaned in close, so his lips were inching his ear, Tanaka whimpered. "And me? I'm the worst of the worst."

Now, all Tanaka could do was cry and plead, but Dazai wasn't having any of it. He let go of Tanaka's hair, letting his head fall limply, enjoying the sounds of his uttered prayer. "No god can save you from me," he told him in a pleasant voice, taking a few steps back.

Dazai crossed his arms and hummed thoughtfully, making a show of it. "I thought I could just kill you, but that's not really fair, is it? She has to live with what you did to her, and I think the fairest thing would be if you have to live with what I do to you."

"You're fucking psychotic," Tanaka whispered.

"Ah," Dazai agreed easily. "I've always been more of a proponent of revenge, rather than justice. See, she probably just wishes you'd have gone to jail." His casual tone melted into something deeper and smoother, deadlier. "Whereas I'm more of an eye-for-an-eye kind of guy, so..." He pursed his lips in faux thought, looking up at the ceiling. "What was it she said?"

Tanaka stared at him in horror, especially when Dazai stared him straight in the eye and smiled.

"Right. Broken jaw, collarbone, ribs, and wrist!" He said, snapping as if he'd just remembered it, as if your broken confession hadn't been causing him physical pain this whole time. "I have plenty of history with breaking jaws, so I guess we'll start there. What do you say?" he asked brightly.

Tanaka screamed again, the sound becoming a cry of raw terror as Dazai began walking towards him.

An hour later, Tanaka still sat in his chair, still handcuffed, but he was bloody and bruised. Every injury he inflicted on you, Dazai returned tenfold. He was delirious with pain, and in and out of consciousness.

Dazai grunted when he looked down at his hands, seeing the blood that absolutely coated his knuckles and bandages. He'd have to clean that up before coming home to you.

"You up?" he asked, walking closer.

When Tanaka immediately flinched back, Dazai hummed with satisfaction.

"I won't kill you," he said, as if he was doing Tanaka some great favor. "You're going to go about your pathetic, little life with no job, and every time you look at yourself, you'll remember this pain. You'll finally feel at least a fraction of what she did."

Tanaka just whimpered. It was hard to speak with a shattered jaw.

Dazai smiled at the sound, crouching down in front of him to force Tanaka to look him in the face, in the eyes. "The men who kidnapped you are going to drop you off at a hospital. They'll ask what happened, and you'll be tempted to tell them. So," his tone lowered into a hiss, breaking the somewhat casual facade now that Tanaka had physically felt his anger. There was no point hiding it now. "I'll tell you the same thing you told her at her lowest point, that defenseless girl who didn't stand a chance against a piece of shit like you: tell the cops, and I'll kill you."

Dazai stood, jaw clenched. "And I'll be watching you from now. Step a toe out of line, hurt anyone else, and I'll bring you right back here. Only, that time, I'll probably just go ahead and do the whole world a favor, and shoot you in the head.

"I bet no one would miss you at all, because that's how small you are."

With that, he walked away.

—I know that was pretty brutal, but to be honest, y'all, Dazai was a whole ass executive in the PM (the 'demon prodigy'). He tries to hold it back in the ADA (per his promise to Oda and his care for the others), but let's not kid ourselves. The guy does have the capacity to do some really evil shit, and I think if he'd do it for anyone, it'd be you

—It just pisses him off so much to feel helpless, especially when it comes to you. He couldn't save you, then, but he can damn well set the record straight. In his head, he had to do something. At the very least, he had to stop this guy from doing it again

—You were eating dinner with him that night, and hadn't really noticed anything out of the ordinary. Both of you were just sitting at the counter, digging into some instant ramen, and you probably wouldn't have noticed if you didn't pay such close attention to him.

There was a speck of blood on the collar of his coat.

"Hey, what happened?" you asked, concern pinching together your brows. Worried eyes scanned him over, looking for any sign of injury. You found none, though.

"It's not mine," Osamu answered, and then took a bite of his food, looking pointedly away from you.

You pursed your lips, tapping his wrist. "We don't lie to each other, O-sa-mu."

He couldn't help but smile a little at your tone. His eyes finally met your's, and he tapped your wrist back. "It's not a lie. It's-not-mine."

"It's a lie by omission if you don't tell me what happened."

You were terribly confused when his eyes softened, and then he gently pressed his hand to the back of your head, bringing you closer until your foreheads were touching. "What's wrong?" you mumbled.

"I can't tell you everything," he admitted slowly, eyes shut. He looked so peaceful, like he was where he was meant to me. Honestly, when Osamu was all soft like this, it took your breath away.

"Then tell me part of it," you breathed, reaching up to cup your hand around his neck. "Did something happen?"

He stayed quiet for a long time, though you didn't know how long. It was like he was contemplating something serious, and that both confused and worried you.

When he finally did speak, it felt like time froze. Everything froze.

"I made it fair. He won't ever hurt anyone else again. I made sure of it."

The words were a whispered promise, and you automatically knew what he was talking about, of course. He was mysterious, and he had been distrustful at first, and you knew he had once been in the mafia, but he was also the person you trusted the most in the world.

Osamu always went above and beyond for you, and you didn't feel as safe anywhere as you did with him.

You believed him wholeheartedly, and found that this admission was enough. You didn't need to know the details, and probably wouldn't want to.

The relief you felt was enough.

"Thank you, Osamu."

—Look, he's so bby girl with you, but he don't play when it comes to your abusive ex💀

—Just... just honestly don't fuck with the people this guy loves, okay? He's gd diabolical, and he can be so cruel to those that hurt who he cares about, so... Just watch it if you're tryna show out to his girl, okay, lmao

[thetepes]

"Fuck it, I'm going to go back to calling people Nazis if they look at me funny." - 4:20 is the timestamp.

She is such a fascinating streamer, no? Dead air, no music, bringing up a cosplayer who killed themselves over accusations after saying it's perfectly fine and good to make flippant accusations. Telling her viewers to mass report Ant's videos, something which youtube found her so inert and completely fucking unable to meaningfully achieve they automatically considered his report solved because there was never any meaningful threat to begin with.

Anyway, it means nothing. This accusation. These words. Nothing, but meaningless piss from a person who so loudly declares their victimhood and cries about their status as a poc, a transwoman, a disabled person who lives off government assistance.

These things that all of which would have made you a victim of this meaningless regime to you. Let's look at who they targeted!

Black people

Civilians accused of disobedience, resistance, or partisan activity

Gay men, bisexuals, and others accused of deviant sexual behavior

 whose religious beliefs conflicted with Nazi ideology, such as Jehovah’s Witnesses

people with disabilities 

Slavic People

Political opponents and dissenters in Germany such as communists

Roma and other people derogatorily labeled as “Gypsies” 

Social outsiders in Germany derogatorily labeled as “asocials” or “professional criminals”

Soviet Prisoners of War. 

Hm, would you look at that? It seems we both meet the measure of those who would be eradicated. We would be victims of Nazis, Lily. Both of us.

Most estimates place the total number of deaths during the Second World War at around 70-85 million people. Approximately 17 million of these deaths were due to crimes against humanity carried out by the Nazi regime in Europe. In comparison to the millions of deaths that took place through conflict, famine, or disease, these 17 million stand out due to the reasoning behind them, along with the systematic nature and scale in which they were carried out.

They were 17 millions of us. A number not one of us can begin to fathom the actual scale of.

So why do only I know the weight of this between us, Lily? Are you really so disconnected from what you are that that multi generation eradicating horror is something you can't comprehend? Nazi isn't some flighty term like Republican that can mean anything from a out of touch grandma who thinks a house can still be bought for 25k to a man holding a tiki torch saying we should nuke downtown Atlanta. Nazis are one thing. They are the thing I struggle to describe as people, but they were and are people and we must remember the great evil people are capable of.

These are not the same thing. You can't just fling Nazi out like it's meaningless. To do so demeans not just the victims, but people still living. You belittle us. You belittle yourself. When you reduce Nazi to a buzzword you take away the sheer magnitude of the violence and loss they caused. Nazi is a word with meaning. It should hurt to say because of how heavy it is.

Have some pride. Have some dignity. Some grace. Have some respect for our lost kin and those that would have been our friends, for the strangers that would have been connected to us by the single thread of this group's hatred.

Give that word it's meaning.

This part is for all of us who have grown too casual with our language, not just her,

Stop calling people Nazis unless they are. Nazis aren't fairytale creatures or monsters under the bed. They're human. They're your brother, your father, your cousin, your next door neighbor. That's what's so scary about them. They're just people. Hateful people. They look like you and me. Look at what a Nazi is. Look at their beliefs. Look at what they did. Memorize it. We all must look even though it hurts because we need to be able to identify them and half of that is giving that word weight so when we see the danger we can name it. For our own safety.

It's time to demand better. It's time to have meaning. It's time to use our words and use them accurately.

[mdhwrites]

May I ask your opinion about Camila as a mother? To me, she is a great mom with good writing. My only gripe is in the first ep when she's okay with Luz discarding her Azura book in the trashcan. It's Manny's gift for Luz.

This one is... Complicated. And I think we're gonna disagree hard on it just by what you consider your one gripe to be.

What is a parent's duty? This is a very, very important question to ask with this. Because, you know, as a friend, Camila is amazing. She's endlessly patient, endlessly kind, I call her a saint because she is just perfect. She has no flaws by the end of the show and scolds herself for the literal ONE TIME she ever tries to reign Luz in.

Reminder: In the first episode, Luz brings wild animals and fireworks to school without permission or without any regard to safety. She inadvertently assaulted MULTIPLE PEOPLE with those snakes because we see more than just the principle being attacked by them. We also know this isn't a first time thing because of the SPIDER SWARM. If I had been in the classroom with Luz for the spider swarm, I would have had a straight up panic attack because I, like many others, have arachnophobia.

A parent's core job, only below keeping their child alive, is to prepare them for the world. To make sure they understand right from wrong, that they understand how society works and how to handle it, how to be themselves while not hurting others, etc. like that. I'm not saying that they must make their children conform but, you know, people still have to be a part of society. To know when their freedoms come against others. Because, sure, you can release spiders into a classroom but when half the parents of the students in that class want you expelled, that is entirely in their right because you did not consider, for a second, anyone other than yourself.

At this, Camila is an abject failure by the end of the show. She actually starts really good though. Now, throwing away Manny's gift is... Yeah, that's real questionable but also Azura being from him feels like a complete retcon, especially since Luz doesn't actually hold that series that close to her. She is a pretty flighty fan and in S2, Amity does WAY more for being excited about Azura than Luz does which, you know, is kind of odd if this memento of her father means that much to her. No, in the context of S1, it's the right move. Luz has crossed the line where she is treating reality like fantasy. She thinks she can just do this stuff and it'll be fine because her perception is at best flawed. So yes, Luz needs to wake up. She needs a chance to get a reality check and Camila doesn't even ask for a huge one. She will be happy if Luz makes friends because in order to make friends, you have to meet them halfway, start showing real compassion, empathy, etc. like that, traits Luz is tragically devoid of early on. It's a good goal for not pressuring Luz too hard.

And then Luz goes to a magical world where she gets to live out the life of an isekai protagonist who by the end of the series is willing to condemn an entire world to death just because she's afraid of making another mistake and having to pay for the consequences of it. To say that's missing the point is a bit of an understatement. And I cannot emphasize this enough. She decides on her own, because she feels bad for having made a decision on her own that went poorly, to avoid all consequences for that decision and just stay home with her loving mom while leaving her friends ostensibly to go die because she admits herself that the Collector is terrifyingly powerful. That is not martyrdom, that's self pity with the veneer of sacrifice. It is still not an empathetic worldview that cares about others, reinforced in For the Future where she goes "I'm going to check and make sure King and Eda are okay and then I'm going home." She talks a much bigger game to Boscha but to her mom who knows the truth? It's to check on the people SHE cares about and then leave. All of them. The whole world doesn't matter to her. That's fucked up.

And THAT is the version of Luz that Camila APOLOGIZES to. And for what? Sending her to camp which was her just trying to get Luz to properly connect with reality ONCE. Because again, otherwise Camila has endless patience. She never brings up the promise after all, she doesn't question taking in these kids or the weird lizard girl who's been impersonating her daughter, Camila defends Luz's creativity at every step, etc. etc. She is Luz's biggest defender in the series... And still apologizes for the one time she criticizes her. The one time she arguably does her job as a mom.

That to me makes her a bad mom. Arguably, even worse than Odalia. Odalia is a WAY worse person, but as a mom? I've made blogs about the fact that the fandom projects a lot onto her, incorrectly so, and that by the standards of her own society, she is mostly just trying to protect Amity and help her succeed. Oh, what terrible goals! Yes, she's too controlling and applies too much pressure BUT AT LEAST SHE'S TRYING. And if it feels like I talk a lot more about Luz in this blog than Camila... Well, it's a parent. Their job is to raise children. So we have to look at the child as a part of the evaluation.

And Luz? Luz needed a parent, not the two friends she got out of Eda and Camila. But apparently a parent is not what anyone wants. See you next tale.

======+++++======

I do want to add that I don't know where to put the fact that Camila is a single mom here because it's very complicated. It's good on her that she has the income to let Luz have expensive hobbies, do what she wants, have a house to live in, be there for all of Luz's events, meetings, etc. like that. She replicates what two parents give pretty much all the other kids in the show so well that it feels more like an oversight than anything else. Also, yes, it's good that Camila keeps Luz happy and healthy but that doesn't really change the fact that she is failing to raise Luz despite having all this time and resources to facilitate keeping Luz happy. However, I've seen the problem with that as a kid's parent would just let them watch tv and play video games with them and left it up to the kid's grandma to treat them how to read and write. Guess what activity made the kid happy versus what activity helped the kid grow as a person. And yes, that parent WAS a single mom and I judged them harshly then too.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[002yb]

Dickjay living together, Dick's neighbours worried about Jason because his lips and neck are always bruised (hickeys, but also Dick's teeth are sharp and Jason likes when he bites) Jason shy and mortified trying to explain that no one is beating him

(Bonus if the neighbours think it's Bruce the one beating Jay)

The apartment they're renting is a shoddy thing. The front door always jams on the uneven floorboards at the entrance. It never fails that they have to shimmy through as they come and go, chests and asses catching in the narrow gap. Jason gives Dick a look each time he has to confront the damn thing, lips pursed and eyes narrowed in warning for Dick to shut the fuck up; don't laugh or catcall him, he swears to god.

But of course Dick laughs because it's cute how Jason gets stuck and Jason's expression pinches, but he's never mad about it - only exasperatedly fond.

He shares that good humor with the neighbors that tease him. Women (single mothers, overworked daughters, forgotten seniors) are left in stitches, their laughter refreshing and smoothing away some of the stress that lines their faces as Jason thunks his head against the door, complaining to them as he squishes down his chest to wiggle himself home. They commiserate with him, playful with their joking.

Usually Gotham locals keep to themselves, but Dick and Jason made themselves nosy neighbors from the start. What good can they do a city if they can't protect their own metaphorical backyard, after all?

The day they move in, the neighbors see Dick trying to help squeeze Jason's tits and ass through the door and they all look away with pursed lips to keep from laughing because it's Gotham; it's common sense to keep your head down and mind your own. Despite that, Dick and Jason break expectations. It takes time, but they become good and safe and familiar to these people.

It's trust hard won, which is why Dick is surprised when immediately after squeezing through the front door, Jason confronts him with an adamant and flustered, "We need to move."

"What?" Dick asks. It's out of left field. They're doing good here despite the cramped rooms and the faulty water heater and the fussy stove and the -- point being, they're in a good location to do their work. Their actual comfort is a secondary thing, a nonissue. They've been doing good work here, too. Crime rates have been dropping steadily since they settled in. There's no denying that Jason looks manic though, distressed. Dick locks the deadbolt behind him but leaves the rest of their security untouched. Nothing more secure than their uneven floorboards, after all. With a furrowed brow, Dick asks, "Why?"

If only because Jason is acting weird, flighty, Dick observes him more carefully. He looks the same as ever: handsome, prickly, sweet. There are love bites and bruises littering his skin, but nothing that Dick didn't put there himself; nothing that Jason didn't demand of him outright, insatiable thing that he is. Dick's head tilts, captivated by how dark some of those marks are, how some of it has scabbed and might scar and--

"The neighbors kink shamed me." Jason groans, turning on his heel and returning to the couch to flop face down onto. The tips of his ears burn red in mortification and Dick - he comes out of his distracted gaze, processing Jason's words before he barks out an incredulous laugh.

"What?" He asks again, tickled because what the hell?

"Kink shamed! Dick, they heard us!" Jason moans, his voice garbled where it's pressed into a pillow. "They can hear us!"

"Oh." Dick says, looking back at the gap beneath the front door as well as the walls. "Yeah, I guess the walls are kind of thin, huh?"

Jason sits up abruptly, hands pressed to his burning cheeks. There's a pile of mail on the coffee table, discarded and forgotten from Jason's trip downstairs to grab it earlier. Dick figures he must have run into a neighbor then. He meanders over, reaching down to look through what came in before startling back when Jason cuts his gaze to look at him.

"I can't show my face here anymore." Jason tells him.

Dick rolls his eyes, fond despite the dramatics, "They don't care."

"They care too much." Jason complains, mindful of the volume of his voice. With a defeated slouch to his shoulders, Jason glowers at Dick like this is somehow his fault that Jason is loud. "They thought you were beating me!"

And whoah, okay. What!? The exclamation gets caught in his throat. The accusation flusters him though. Dick would never—

"I told them that I like it rough." Jason admits, his cheeks growing increasingly red as he relives the experience and the embarrassment hits him again. Jason slumps forward into the couch once more, curled up in a way that's disparately cute given his bulk. "Which I do, but that’s none of their business and—"

Dick smirks to himself, rounding the room to sit on the coffee table and rub Jason's back as he whines.

[sicklyseraphnsuch]

RotG and HiJack Recs

Alright, I'm building this list because some of these fics are just a tad dusty, and they could use more love. (A lot more love, I am literally dying from how much I adored these.) But note that a good few are incomplete.

Let's start with:

INCOMPLETE FICS

The Long Road:

Presently Gen, but Hiccup very much falls for Jack. He does however retain his feelings for Astrid, so bear that in mind. There's the classic Viking mindset when it comes to homosexual relationships that's pretty much giving Hiccup like a lot of anxiety.

But beyond that! I cannot shower this fic with enough praises! It gives me the same sort of excitement that the RotG movie does. Jack's characterization is Spot On. He's friendly and outgoing and also incredibly secretive and flighty. It balances out Jack's blunt mannerisms with a joyous charm and just that hint of vulnerability (which he keeps so well hidden lol).

The plots take place after HttyD, during the Riders of Berk TV series. Jack is folded into the Dragon Rider group who considers him some kind of Elf. Yes, this is Jack Frost in all his frosty glory. The way the story builds on a solid foundation of camaraderie and friendship, giving plenty of scenes to show how Hiccup and Jack became great friends, lends well to the Hiccup's realization of: "Oh I'm into him". Without giving too many spoilers, that "oh" moment is forever ingrained into my memory because of how PERFECTLY timed it is.

This blends Guardians of Childhood book verse with HttyD book verse, mostly via cameos over lore. Overall, a beautiful, fun, and simply enchanting read. I cannot recommend this enough.

A Story about Ice, Dragon Fire, and Belief:

Another gen fic. Mostly, it's about North looking at Jack and going, "he's my son now", and Jack having absolutely none of it. When placed together with Stoik and Hiccup's relationship, it becomes an almost interesting study of contrasts. North is the guy who's trying to prove something to a boy that he disappointed. Hiccup is the guy who's trying to prove something to a man that he disappointed. But ultimately, it ends up the same with a schism forming between the two pairs the harder one of them tries to breach it.

Also, it talks about how Jack is a force of fucking nature? And his blizzards can kill and have killed in the past? There's a little bit of trying to reconcile that with his new ID as a guardian. North is not doing a great job helping here.

But really the Crown Jewel of this fic is North and Berk's reactions to North (and by proxy his relationship to Jack). We go a little into the historical Viking side of things (like the pillaging et al), and apply that lens to this jolly old man. Let's just say some troubling (hilarious) assumptions are drawn. Also...

Everyone loves the sleigh.

I think this is one of the few RotG and HttyD crossovers that really do a good job of merging the two movies. Primarily because it's not just Jack in Berk. And this just made me hungry for more fics where more of the RotG cast arrive as Berk, and be just 100% fantastical and strange as the bedtime stories they are. Put some respect on the Guardians name, if you know what I'm saying.

In the Shadows of My Mind:

This one is an RotG only fic. No pairings except for whatever's going on between Pitch and Nightlight (and by proxy Jack). It's not a for real pairing. That said, it's such a complex and intricate relationship that doesn't resemble a romance but remains markedly intimate. Basically, this fic takes advantage of Pitch and Nightlight's ridiculously long history then throws Jack into the mix. Alive, human Jack in an early 18th century colonial town wherein he very recently did not drown (and boy, isn't that suspicious?)

My favorite thing about this fic is how spot on the dialogue feels? The lexicon, the syntax feels true to the time its set in. Although, I can't say that it is accurate as I'm not an expert of this time period in this region. Regardless, it certainly appears that a good stack of research went into this.

All that said, this fic has captured Bill Joyce's writing style the best, but with a deeper, more complex, more mature layer underpining that bedtime like vibe. There's a good host of OCs but genuinely, I didn't notice them as OCs. I could really believe they were characters of Joyce's books. Not to mention, they feel like fully fleshed out individuals even if they have like maybe two paragraphs of screentime.

The entire premise hinges on the idea of "what if Jack survived the skating accident" and everyone's reactions to that, as well as... the hidden secret thing that involves Nightlight. GoC spoilers are hinted so beware. But the little interplay between Nightlight and Jack is such a delicious little mystery, and also makes me so sad. These two boys deserved better.

Then we throw in Pitch for fun, because Pitch is always fun, and he just makes the whole thing even more complicated or as Jack calls it, "unnatural". But he's not even the main villain. It's Christianity. JK. That said, the fic does explore the idea of well, how would a fairly backwater colony be able to explain how Jack survived or... the powers that's slowly revealing itself from within him. There's a particularly nasty boy (around Jack's age), who is an OC and I believe an exceptionally well placed one. The OC understood his role to play and he plays it fantastically. Everytime he shows up, I too feel scared and indignant and excited all at once.

Speaking of great OCs, shoutout to Jack's Da. His appearances are brief but the impact is maximized with each appearance. He has that sense of realism and whimsy baked into him that I could gush endlessly about.

Overall, just a pure delight to read. Will re-read again and again.

Zastruga:

Total Gen fic. And a classic in my opinion.

I started reading this when I was in college - note the publish date. Nevermind the update date. Because even after all these years, this story? Still good. Still very very good.

This takes the original RotG plot and makes it more epic, and also more sad. RotG was very joyful at its core, which this fic somehow manages to retain. But it's just under a layer of sad. It's not overwhelming angst though, just enough to really pinch your heart.

Also whereas the movie has a few epic battles before things go really wrong, this fic stretches that out into a proper war against Pitch (and Jack). That's right. Jack is with Pitch ala Mother Gothel/Judge Frollo style. Jack isn't locked up entirely. He's given just enough rope to hang himself with. Mind the Jack whump is what I'm saying. But also do note that Jack's character remains as steadfast and loyal as he ever was in RotG, so the whump just hits nicer since this Jack isn't so irrevocably changed.

I have re-read this before. I will re-read this again. Nevermind the incomplete status. There's plenty of chapters that simply give me great joy.

COMPLETE FICS

It's the Great Spirit Sleigh, Hiccup Haddock:

Gen fic, in that there's no pairing actively getting together. But remains faithful to the original canon's hinted love interests. So Hiccup has a big crush on Astrid and Jack leans towards Tooth. That said, the relationship between Hiccup and Jack is just plain adorable and also heart-wrenching. They care about each other. So Much.

Now this is just a good holiday cheer. It literally has the Hallmark movie template, which is the point really. You know, the whole "oh no, a holiday is ruined" followed by "clever and charming ways to fix the holiday". With Hiccup and Jack taking the starring roles.

If you know your Hallmark movies, then you know that the leads get together in the end. And they don't in this fic. But the amount of "Gosh do I care about you" is so good. It's a lot of hurt and a lot of comfort. And I am here for it.

Also, this fic was completed way before the HttyD 3 movie so it doesn't have a canon compliant ending. That may be a bonus for some of you.

Scary Monsters and Super Creeps:

Pre JackRabbit (Bunny/Jack). But honestly the pairing isn't the main focus, mostly that Jack and Bunny admit to liking each other (but not to each other). So their dynamic remains in the best bros category. The pairing mostly shows through the plot machinations.

So long story short, Pitch opens the Guardian-Verse and recruits the other versions of the Guardians - the corrupt versions. And it's good, action/adventure fun. There's some gore, so mind that. Because the corrupt versions are nasty little things that fight dirty. Which makes the action feel like there's legit stakes. Also makes for a quick read because you must know what happens next? Did they get out of this sticky situation? Are they going to be okay? That sort of thing.

[sokkastyles]

Hi,

Hope you are doing well.

Thank you for the last response on Zuko.

I was reading the post you rebloged regarding Aang and Zuko as parallels, and that got me thinking about the conflicts between Zuko and Katara, and Aang and Katara.

The fact that in the conflicts between Aang and Katara, it doesn't seem like Aang gets to face consequences of his actions in the conflicts, it seems like he gets off scot-free, which makes it look like the argument was given no resolution and forgotten.

I would like your thoughts on this.

It really does seem like Aang's internal conflict with accepting his duty as Avatar vs his want to be with Katara was meant to be a parallel to Zuko's internal conflict, but the writers dropped the ball because of the common phenomenon of being too invested in their hero and not letting them be flawed.

The funny thing is that it doesn't just hurt the KA relationship, it also hurts the narrative as a whole. I've noticed that people who are anti zutara often accuse zutara shippers (because zutara fandom is so often about the parallels) of ignoring the parallels between Zuko and Aang as the driving force of the series. And the thing is, I'm all about zukaang and the redeemed rival narrative. The problem is that the writers seemed to want to make these parallels but never really let them come to fruition. Aang's conflict at the end of book two seems like a clear set up for him to have a parallel narrative with Zuko, including a betrayal of Katara. Imagine if Aang had continued to lie to Katara about not unlocking the Avatar state. Imagine if that conflict had been allowed to continue instead of it being replaced by Azula's lightning blocking it. Imagine that when Aang wakes up and says he needs to redeem his honor (a clear intended parallel to Zuko) he faced the new problem of having kept hidden from the group that he never learned to unlock his chakras.

Imagine that, during EIP, Aang lets slip to Katara that he is so angry that he would be in the Avatar state "if I hadn't blocked my chakra." Imagine that being the moment when Katara learns that Aang lied, and this being part of their conflict in that episode. This shifts the focus of the conflict from "Oh no, flighty Katara won't return Aang's affections and Azula blocked his chakra" to an internal conflict where Aang would have to figure out how HE can solve both his relationship problems and his Avatar problem. Thus bringing the parallel with him and Zuko full circle and tying in with the themes of redemption and personal accountability.

And just like with Zuko's arc with Katara, if Aang were truly forced to reckon with how he hurt Katara and made up for it, it would have made their relationship stronger. The purpose of paralleling Aang with Zuko would be to make Aang's eventual heroic victory more glorious, more earned. Because the writers were afraid to take the same risks with Aang that they did with Zuko, his ending feels less earned, both on a personal level and a heroic one.

[all-pacas]

chase's whole "it's tuesday uwu" thing is VERY early 2000s romantic gesture. straight out of the love actually playbook. very how i met your mother of him. did it age well? not super

but it's very funny because honeslty? it is probably the best way to specifically provoke cameron. because he (and foreman, and the world) are kind of right. cameron is the least neutral person on the planet. she is the least stoic and apathetic person on the planet. her entire "this meant nothing to me and never did" thing was a lie.

like yes. i get it. fandom has decided she is cold and unfeeling and never cared about poor chase uwu, but also. that's not true. that was never true. what cameron does is pretend to be stoic and neutral and cool when in fact she has feelings for everyone and everything and has never gone a day in her life without overinvesting.

"you're the one i'm least likely to fall in love with," she says to the man she will get married to in two years. by the next episode they're spending nights and coming into work together. by the two week mark they're grabbing all their meals together and spending all their time together. she calls it a "relationship" during this period and he corrects her; maybe it's not true love, but clearly there are no "this is just sex" boundaries and never were. they "break up" and she's the one angry and hurt, chase even calls her out on acting like she was the one who got dumped.

but she refuses to admit she does like him, because she probably did sincerely intend on not liking him (even as she's all smiling and blushing when he gets her flowers, even when he asks her point blank if she feels nothing and she can't answer), so chase gets Aggressive about it. he knows she likes him, because she does like him.

and i think he is wrong in that he's underestimating how stubborn cameron is — she never would have given in to his tuesday thing out of principle — but also, if he'd let it go, she'd have never addressed it either. because she is afraid of commitment (of falling in love and losing again), and she likes to pretend she's tougher and more neutral than she is. so he keeps trying to push her into admitting what they both know is true. he actually gives up pretty quick: he gets fired after about a month and tells her it was silly. but joke is on chase again, because as soon as he isn't around cameron starts to miss him.

and that's… i don't know, passive-aggressive of her, maybe. flighty. only wants him when she's losing him. except she already liked him. except that in their relationship to come, we see she's willing to make huge sacrifices for him, take huge steps for him. she was willing to destroy her husband's sperm, a hilarious sentence but a big deal to her. she offered. she made the call before telling him. she married him, which, we can and should joke about that disaster, but this from cameron, who is driven by her feat of commitment. cameron, who idealizes her first marriage and uses it as an excuse to not date, who calls it true love, who uses it to define her life. she is not going to marry someone casually, or because she feels guilty. her panic about him proposing was because she thought he didn't mean it, not because she didn't want to say yes.

and we can and should make fun of the dibala situation, but even there the fact remains: cameron was willing to throw away her morals for chase. her moral core, her ideals, all of it. her sense of right and wrong has defined her from day one, she is against murder, and she heard her husband killed a dude and was ready to accept it and stay with him. it was only when chase pushed back, decided he wasn't sorry, decided he wanted to stay with house, that she gave up. and yes it's a mess and i'm not arguing she wasn't a bit hypocritical about it, or it wasn't badly written — but still. the biggest reddest line cameron has, and for chase, she was willing to put it aside.

is cameron still fucked up and messy as hell? yes. but she's not stoic, she's not cold, she did love chase, this is a cameron apologist blog, i love her, she's the messiest woman on the planet

[anxiousgaypanicking]

Their first time together was a little abrupt. Morality caught a glimpse of what Patton had going on, and he couldn't stop thinking about it splitting him open. Being the same person doesn't help with his guilt of thinking about a friend sexually. But since they ARE the same person, Pat could tell something was off pretty quickly. It was an emberassing admission that made morality go beet red.

THIS IS SO TRUE morality never INTENDED to sneak a peek - privacy is important after all! but theyve been rooming together (what else are the sides supposed to do with copies of themselves around? make them all sleep on the couch? please; creativity and anxiety were basically fighting each other in the kitchen) and even patton changing his pants shows off the absolute monster hes got between his legs

and morality knew patton was bigger than him.... but everywhere? and that big?

he tries not to think about it, honestly (and especially since he hasn't been taught a healthy little lesson about repression yet), but patton can tell somethings off with him. morality constantly looks feverish, flighty - he's avoiding eye contact and fleeing from any group situations! so, patton does the most logical thing and corners him in their now-shared bedroom, setting a gentle hand on moralitys head and asking if hes sick. he looks like hes been burning up all day! does he need rest? a cool cloth? and morality just cant find it in him to lie, and so sheepishly admits whats been on his mind since that morning

of course, theyre both embarrassed following after, but patton immediately takes responsibility for changing in front of morality, and in an attempt to ease his humiliation, offers to provide morality with a way to alleviate some of that arousal! he should just let patton take care of him; patton will make everything okay.

which is how morality ends up straddling pattons lap, being slowly and tenderly guided up and down and bouncing on pattons girth - which stretches him out so full that morality almost feels like he's being split open - while patton gives him soft encouragement of "you're doing so good!" and "this is why you shouldnt hide things from me. i could have helped you much, much sooner" which has morality shuddering with way more arousal than he should be feeling towards his future self

[mysticbeaver]

Your opinion on all the side characters? Or what you like or dislike in each of them?

Thanks for the ask, and it's a long one! Nice for a change. Let's see...

- Jonny 2x4 - one of the characters I'm guilty of neglecting... But I think he's a fun, quirky kid (even when he's supposed to be annoying). I remember when I first watched Dear Ed (where he got in a fight with Plank) the scene at the playground made me sad for him. It seems to me there's not much Jonny fanart here on tumblr compared to how Plank and him are considered icons of the show elsewhere. That's probably what makes some like me less interested in the character... I hardly react to pics of real Plank IRL, sorry Plank fans 😅

- Sarah - she's fun... c'mon! Again, non-tumblr fans are on a different planet, the hate boners people have for a 6-7(?) year-old character are entertaining... for a while. I love that she's actually intimidating and strong, she ain't just bark and no bite, another less slapstick-focused show would have handled her differently. A lot of people cheer for the scene where Ed shouts at her in Little Ed Blue, cause they want to see her get "just desserts", but I never care about that, I like her for the rabid little princess she is lol. I also like people's headcanons of her treating her brother better as she grows up, and hopefully escaping the unhealthy favoritism from her parents.

- Jimmy -  even more than Sarah, the hate he sometimes gets is really tedious to me... he's always entertaining, especially his "theatre kid" moments, and his squeaky voice borders on "dog frequencies" sometimes haha. The only thing I've found slightly odd is maybe his flaws and negative traits (spoiled, Sarah always has his back, secretly a cunning little bastard) are sometimes given a free pass just because he's queer-coded, maybe? This only ever bothered me exclusively in relation to someone like Kevin being written off instead, but this my own bias, just a lighthearted observation (for real tho please tell me if this is a dumb reasoning)

- Nazz - she's the nicest and most well-adjusted "normal" kid around (if you ask me kevin ain't normal haha), but had an unfortunate starting point of "girl all the boys have a crush on", which she was never developed out of, or at least not nearly enough as she should have been. I've read something about the writers struggling to figure out what to do with her, maybe? Can't remember. Some people point out her hidden intelligence, but I think it would also be interesting to explore her negative traits, mainly I see her as slightly two-faced/flighty when it comes to how she interacts with the Eds.

Kevin - oh boy, my sense of this character is probably so skewed... The one character I used to get upset and annoyed about like an idiot, in regards to other people's takes and such, sometimes I resent the fact I ever got fixated on the character... why??? Help 🤣 I guess what torments me is that the viewer was never really meant to like him or find him interesting in any way? and doing otherwise is just a case of "fandom brainrot", I dunno what others think 😵‍💫 His jerk/bully role is definitely handled in more interesting ways than other shows would, there's enough meat to the character I guess it's possible to be invested in headcanons/developments. (or so I convince myself...)

Without getting too rambling, let's just say I love him as much as I'd find it entertaining to see him get incinerated by a flamethrower lmao.

Rolf - my other favorite ofc, and a much more pleasant one lol. Nothing embarrassing about loving this character, for sure. In fact I'm probably guilty of not seeing his flaws, but I guess he can be arrogant, and violent/gross with his traditions, when he could learn to be lenient considering how he's treated with a fair amount of tolerance by the cul-de-sac. But in the end he's just a kid trying to get used to a new land and culture.

Kanker sisters - I never thought much about Lee but my eyes have been opened by the implication that being the oldest one in a tough family/social background kinda excuses a lot of her behavior... But others can analyse this better than me.

I think Marie is the unfortunate middle sister who maybe had the least distinct personality? (beyond her aesthetic hinting at her being a punk chick), thankfully she's got plenty fans (btw her being underdeveloped is more food for thought for marie x nazz/nazzarie 👀...). I haven't got much to say unfortunately, other than my first eene ship was eddmarie exactly because of Marie development.

I'm guilty of seeing May as the most innocent one (certainly thanks to that bit where she cries in Hanky Panky Hullabaloo) and the only Kanker I'm keen on shipping with an Ed (the Ed).

Bro? - well... He serves his purpose haha. And he's got an interesting aesthetic. I do like people being invested in the character and even liking him or imagining a more redemptive interpretation of him. Fans have been able to like much more monstrous characters in fiction, being a Bro fan is no big deal... "I can fix him" sure go ahead! You're a saint 🤣

[j2zara]

oooo what are aelwyn's feelings on the rest of the clones?? im picturing her finding j2 incredibly tragic & j3 a bit of a bimbo but idk

OK if we're doing this i think i'm just gonna have it be we're buying into a universe where Aelwyn would find out about the clones and not just think they're all jace. To be fair I do have other characters who in my heart absolutely know about the clones and can distinguish all of them or at least some of them (Zara can tell the difference, Eugenia can tell the difference, Lucilla can sometimes tell the difference if i'm feeling shippy).

I do think she would think J4 his honestly kinda girlfail if she got to know her for real for real and a part of the reason aelwyn has a crush on her is that she's this weird object of mystery but also she's like a goth femdom who once said she liked Aelwyn's haircut in a way that was like SO offhand and in passing that aelwyn had to be lay down like I think i hauve covid. She can make excuses for J4 that she can't make for jace tho. She's like oh j4 thinks wizards are stinky? Well. Pobody's nerfect

There's a llne in Ballad of Songbirds that describes Tigris as. Like. I think it was "having a soft nature that invited abuse" (yuck! Snow pov! Evil!) and i think that's a little bit how Aelwyn sees J2. But like. That's how a lot of people see j2. Like at least jace can kinda keep up with her on a back and forth barb level and not that J2 can't but usually he won't. And I do think she sees a lot of her relationship to her own parents in the picture of what is going on with J2's Deal so she's a little pricklier with him that she ought to be as deflection b/c. I'm in this picture and i don't fucking like it. They're the first, they're the ones that have to be perfect.

If she knew him she would maybe affectionately tease him but in that way that she teases literally everyone else in her life in that she has no idea what is the level of acceptable so she's like way too mean with it and hurts his feelings. His nail polish always chipped and he wears cardigans with snags in them and slides with socks no matter the occasion. What! We're playing! You know that's not right!

J3 i could see as her thinking he is. Incredibly fun and funny but also incredibly cunty in a way that she either gels with or completely bounces off. The thing is that. Aelwyn does think of J3 as a bimbo esp at first but just like. How Aelwyn knows that Adaine is incredibly talented and never underestimated her. The thing is that J3 is kinda flighty and understimulated and noncommittal but I also think he would do well if he was given any reason to rise to some sort of occasion. He does want to prove himself, but he also is living a cursed half life and has made it his mission to suck as much dick as possible so you're expecting him to use his spare time to do what, read??? In my mind J3 is probably the funniest clone and his flirtationship with Porter was actually almost... intellectual? Before they started hooking up. The problem with J3 is that he is incredibly like "i'm so sorry I just don't get this math problem i'm so stupid can you help me? wow you're sooooo smart maybe you could tutor me in a private lesson" coded while privately seething that like half of the problems are wrong. You know him. He's Cool Girl.

Anyway. I got off track. Aelwyn. I do think she finds him amusing but ultimately kinda tiresome. But he could be kinda fun. He's more tiresome than jace in large doses but she might like him more than jaceprime anyway. But at least he can keep up with her unlike poor J2 who is very "if we're just nice to the weird mean girl who is mean to us then maybe she will be nice to us". And initially she's like oh this guy is incredibly stupid he is not a threat but is like hm. I will not make that mistake again. I also think she sees a bit of Adaine's deal wit him as the one that is neglected one to her golden child but you didn't hear it from me. Which means she ALSO would probably mock him for essentially being the brutish "team muscle" even tho he's also a spindly little sorcerer.

He also thinks her story about hitting on jawbone is extremely funny but he will deny thus it’s bc he finds it relatable. The one where he’s like “we all hurt from time to time” and she says “I’m moving”

[zanysmurf]

Sorry if this has been asked before but what is Zany's Smurf gimmick?

see, you think this would be an easy question to answer and by all means it should be! so get ready for a disjointed one. multiple, even. i just kind of say things here:

my original idea was that he'd have a gimmick similar to flighty (always doing various "zany" activities when he's not helping greedy) or jokey (annoying misc. mischief). "zany" is a word people use to describe like any cartoony nonsense, basically interchangable with "wacky", OR a noun to mean an eccentric person (which he was supposed to be) so it's hard to narrow that down. that was supposed to work to my advantage but at the same time it really didn't LOL

one of zany's activities is taking dares when he's bored and he'll do the dumbest things. jokey likes taking advantage of that and smurfs such as smurfette are like "oh for smurfs sake leave him alone. stop daring him to stick his head in dirt for hours" and greedy would say something like "you shouldn't do that type of stuff you need self control." [a smurf dares him to eat 30 cookies] "30???? i can do more than that"

the thing is: i created zany in 2019 for the sole purpose of interacting with my favorite smurfs / shipping him with greedy. i didn't want to use jokey for that stuff, i wanted something that felt more like me at the time. i was like. having a lot of trouble figuring all this out because i usually just wanted to focus on his dynamic with greedy. in older posts you might see him in scene gear with a patterned bandana because i was generally embracing my younger self back then and self-expression / having fun. he fell under 'smurfs if it was modern' or 'what if a modern day smurf was in the show's canon like a time traveler' au imaginings whenever i wasn't picturing him in the show canon, but i think i've drifted away from that (though i still completely get the appeal of the scene zany design)

speaking of him and jokey, i figured maybe they'd pull pranks together or something and when i learned the historical definition of a zany i was like *JAWDROP*

anyway: i'd say zany's gimmick was meant to be unpredictable by nature, but he could also be a vehicle for lighthearted poking at the show itself. ie. he'd be in a cage and notice the bars are tall and wide enough apart so he'd just slip right out. greedy/another smurf would say "how did you do that". and he'd shrug. that's more self-aware than i usually go for but if i was making a joke like that i'd want it to be silly

overall zany is a lot of things the show wouldn't allow: peyo hated when hb made new smurfs so a bunch of them never made it into the show / only lasted a while. his design is very simple but says nothing about his gimmick in a way that i feel would piss off both hb AND peyo. (which tbh i was thinking about redesigning him in some way at some point). there was also a bit of dissonance in terms of "i want this character to be more fleshed out than the show would allow, but i treat the other characters a similar way so it's fine" and making jokes like he's just some minor smurf who by all means shouldn't exist in-universe, ie. "omg remember zany he was in scampering smurfs in the background at 5:06". at one point he had a backstory and stuff that really honed in on the latter idea of "he's too different/not supposed to be here" ie. he used to be something other than a smurf or created artificially but i don't think i even like those ideas anymore

in comparison to fan characters/sonas i've made recently, zany is not one i'm particularly proud of. i love him and greedy but everything was suuuuch a mess. as the above demonstrates, i had far too many conflicting ideas. maybe that's part of the joke of who zany is. or maybe one of these days i'll try and give him something more cohesive. we'll see

[sophie-hatter-jenkins]

Fan Fic Humble Brag Tag

Sometimes we love something we wrote so much we want to knock on every door spreading the good word of our little story. But sometimes we fear being seen as rude or too self promoting. Here is your chance to do a bit of self promo and bragging without fear because some asked you too.

Answer the questions and then tag five writers who you think deserve to brag about their work. Tagged by the lovely @ginnyw-potter

1.) the funniest bit of dialogue you wrote

This is from Chapter 37 of Evolution. Ron is not here for Hermione's wedding planning To-Do list!

“I don’t think it’s that bad,” cajoled Harry, as he read the list again. “If we head straight to Diagon Alley now, we can get measured for the suits, pick up the invitations from the engravers, collect the confetti samples, get the travel brochures for the honeymoon, enquire about the prices for trained doves…” Harry paused and looked confused. “Trained to do what, exactly?” Ron shook his head. “God knows. Coo the wedding march? Crap out our initials in formation? As long as I get the price list for Hermione, I really couldn’t care less.”

2.) A story you wrote that made you cry

Chapter 10 of Into The Hinnyverse, my Ginniversary Bingo collection. It's called That Next Great Flighty Temptress, and I absolutely sobbed while I was writing it.

3.) A story that still makes you laugh every time you reread it or think about it

Miss, one of my Hinny Microfics, always makes me snigger. I loved writing it so much!

4.) Best moment of canon compliant characterization

From But A Shadow, chapter 8 of Into The Hinnyverse:

During the day, what haunts him the most are Ron’s words to him, just before he left. “We thought you knew what you were doing!”   Harry remembers defending himself against the accusation, but Ron, he knows, was right. He wonders, for the thousandth time, when that thought will also occur to Hermione, because when it does, she is sure to leave him too. In his darkest moments, he imagines doing this alone. It nearly breaks him.  “We thought you had a real plan!” Ron had him bang to rights with that one too. ‘Find the horcruxes and destroy them’ really wasn’t ever any sort of credible plan, was it? It torments Harry. If he had the first clue what he was doing, then he and Hermione wouldn’t be aimlessly wandering the country, bouncing from one godforsaken spot to the next. Constantly cold. Always hungry. Perpetually damp. It is pointless, it is hopeless, and it is soul destroying. 

5.) Something you wrote in a fic you secretly (or not so secretly) think as canon

Oh, it's such a tiny thing, and this is a tiny microfic, but I really do think Ginny spent most of her 6th year wearing Harry's scarf right under the Carrow's noses.

6.) The most romantic bit you’ve written

There are a couple of chapters of Evolution that (I think) are super romantic - Chapter 29 (The Things We Do For Love) and Chapter 47 (Always) in particular, but I can't say why because: spoilers.

So, special shout out to my Hinny Microfic Rose, which is a Muggle third party perspective, and is bittersweet romantic throughout.

7.) A fic you wrote that everyone sleeps on, but you know, is excellent

I am super proud of Enigma, my entry for the Ladies of HP Fest Monthly Mini in honour of Hermione. If you've read it, you are (unfortunately!) part of a very select bunch haha.

8.) Wow us with an excellent excerpt

OK, this is from Hunted, no part of which has yet been posted - and it won't be, until it's finished, at least up until final edit stage. So there is a good change that this will be the only bit of this fic ever published, depending on how writing the rest of it goes!

“I brought you coffee, Harry, and one for you too, Dr Granger.” “Oh! Thank you Jenny. That’s very kind.” “It’s no trouble,” smiled Jenny. “I was making one for myself anyway.” Jenny put the tray on the table and gave Potter a beaming smile before heading back to her desk. Potter watched her go, admiring her shiny, brunette hair, the way her pencil skirt curved over her backside, and the lilting sway of her hips as she walked. It wasn’t until he wrenched his eyes back to Hermione that he realised that she was watching him, watching Jenny, and smirking at him knowingly. Sometimes it really irritated him how well Hermione knew him. “Oh, shut up,” he muttered. He reached for his coffee to cover his embarrassment and succeeded only in burning his tongue. “Fuck! That’s hot.” “You’re referring to the coffee?” asked Hermione, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

9.) Five words to describe your writing

Romantic, self-indulgent, angsty, fluffy, affectionate

10.) The fic you are most proud of

Evolution. It isn't perfect, but I bloody well wrote a novel. So yeah, I'm proud of it.

Tagging: @deadwoodpecker @gryffindorhealer @starlingflight (because of the Hunted snippet!), @nena-96 @wearingaberetinparis