#(on his lap ideally)
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draining his balls making him cum over and over again just so he'll pass out and finally get a good night's sleep >>>>
#hikey#i love him so much and just want him to get good sleep and rest knowing he's loved and cared for#ya know???#i love taking care of a dom with as much tenderness and care as they do for me as their sub#like ideally he'd be passed out with his head in my lap while i play cozy games and watch him sleep#my sweet boy lil cutie pie baby#🫛
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wei wuxian vs. pragmatism: what MDZS intends to say about righteousness
copy/pasting most of my rather bitchy reply into its own individual post because i think it deserves to stand on its own.
so i think we can all agree that MXTX intends for us to read MDZS and conclude that wei wuxian is ultimately a deeply heroic and righteous person. whether you as the reader agree with this assessment of wei wuxian's moral character is another question entirely, but at the very least it is fairly obvious to all of us that MXTX intends for us to read him as a good person.
so why does MXTX call wei wuxian a good person? what aspects of his character and which of his choices make him a good person? what moral framework and what definition of morality does MXTX employ in order to call wei wuxian a good person?
i posit that MXTX argues that wei wuxian is heroic precisely because he is not pragmatic - because he adheres to his moral ideals despite the consequences, and because he did not make moral sacrifices at critical junctures of his life. the first half of this post will argue that wei wuxian is not pragmatic. the second half of this post will argue that this is exactly why wei wuxian is heroic, and that the moral framework employed by MXTX is deeply idealistic instead.
so let's begin.
let's start by establishing two things.
first: what MXTX argues about morality through the narrative of MDZS and the reader's own beliefs about morality are two different things. me saying "MDZS argues that xyz is righteousness" and me saying "i think xyz is righteousness" are two different statements. the following analysis is concerned not with what i myself consider to be righteous, but rather what MXTX argues through MDZS is righteous.
second: wei wuxian is not pragmatic.
what does it mean to be pragmatic? unless we are speaking about the school of philosophy specifically (which i am not here), being pragmatic means being grounded in reality and focused on practical outcomes. it means being result-oriented and considering the consequences of your actions before you act; it means acting only after you have considered the potential consequences of all possible courses of action and have then decided which outcomes are acceptable. being pragmatic also means recognizing when achieving everything you want is impossible. and, in such situations, being pragmatic thus entails compromising to achieve a desired outcome, even if that means you don’t get everything they want. to put it in edgier terms, being pragmatic means being able to make moral sacrifices.
an idealistic person attempts the impossible. a pragmatic person recognizes when something truly is impossible.
wei wuxian is not pragmatic.
first, wei wuxian is not someone who carefully considers the consequences of his actions before he acts. in fact, he displays a startling lack of consideration for consequences. it repeatedly falls upon other characters to either try (and fail) to hold him back.
when wei wuxian punched jin zixuan for insulting first jiang yanli and then jiang cheng, did he consider that jiang fengmian and jin guangshan might then dissolve the betrothal, and that jiang yanli might have wanted to make a decision regarding that on her own? no. he just punched jin zixuan because he was mad that jin zixuan had insulted two people he loved.
when wen chao threatened mianmian, and lan wangji and jin zixuan stood up for mianmian, and then wei wuxian stood up for them by holding wen chao hostage in turn - did he consider that there might be consequences for humiliating and threatening the life of the son of a warmongering great sect leader who has already proven capable of attacking other sects? no. did he stop and think "alright, wen ruohan has already attacked the cloud recesses, which proves that he's willing to wage war against the other sects. threatening the son of a sect leader is an easy way to earn any sect leader's ire, and since i'm the first disciple of the jiang sect, this puts not just me but the entire jiang sect on wen ruohan's shitlist"? no. it would be one thing if wei wuxian weighed this possibility and then decided that rescuing an innocent girl and the people who defended her was more important was worth the risk - that would show that he considered the consequences and then made his choice. but the thought simply never entered his mind. he acted simply because he wanted to save mianmian, jin zixuan, and lan wangji from the wens; he did not think beyond that.
when wei wuxian busted the wen remnants out of the qiongqi pass labor camp, did he have a clear plan as to how he was going to weather the political fallout? did he have a plan more detailed than "live quietly in the burial mounds until everyone forgets about us"? no. when jiang cheng challenged him as to how he was going to survive the situation, he did not in fact offer anything more concrete than "we'll just wait for everyone else to forget about us." he blustered about being a once-in-a-generation genius who could accomplish the impossible, but he provided no actual plan as to how he was going to do it. this leads me to conclude that wei wuxian did not in fact have a long-term plan for handling the consequences when he went ham at the qiongqi pass camp - that, instead of weighing the consequences and then making his decision, he instead decided immediately that this was something he had to do, consequences be damned.
and then - on top of this - all of his following actions then point in the exact opposite direction of his stated plan of waiting for everyone to forget about them. because instead of doing anything to fade into the background, everything wei wuxian did instead just convinced the jianghu he was an intolerable threat.
and this was not a sustainable strategy.
one thing i really appreciate about MXTX is that she does not make the rest of the jianghu into one-dimensional villainous morons. it's quite easy for lazy writers who want a persecution plotline to have the rest of the story's society magically start hating on the protagonist for no good reason, to make every background character in the story's world a three-braincell moron. but MXTX is not that author. it speaks to MXTX's skill as an author that, from the perspective of the rest of the jianghu, fearing wei wuxian as a mortal threat was an entirely reasonable conclusion for them to come to.
first, the gentry's most recent direct interaction with wei wuxian during this time period is him threatening to kill all of them. when jin zixun doesn't give him the information he wants, wei wuxian straight up says: "if i want to kill everyone here, who can stop me? who dares stop me?" this is a threat! and - surprise - threatening to kill people naturally makes people think that you want to kill them!
next, wei wuxian refined wen ning's dead body into the first sentient fierce corpse in history, and also the strongest fierce corpse in living memory - and then took wen ning with him on night-hunts. that's where the reputation of "the yiling patriarch and his ghost general" comes from. this very naturally made the rest of society fear him even more, because now the guy who has just recently threatened to kill you has demonstrated even more of the power to easily do so! the unparalleled power to do so, which no one else possesses and it would be very hard for anyone else to counter! add in the fact that wei wuxian's activities were also attracting prospective disciples - people gathering outside the burial mounds because they wanted to learn demonic cultivation - and naturally the public is even more frightened, because now it looks like the guy who threatened to kill all of you is also gathering the political force to do so!
the public is incorrect about wei wuxian's intentions, of course. but what does wei wuxian do to correct these misconceptions? to rehabilitate his public image, because now his public image has the life of not just himself but also all the wen remnants under his protection riding on it? to prove to the public that he isn't an active threat to their lives - that he does not seek to murder them all in their beds - that it is safe for them to allow him to live, and that they can in fact survive if they don't kill him?
nothing.
it would be one thing if the story mentioned how wei wuxian tried to correct the malicious rumors about himself and failed. but that is not what happened. what happened is that wei wuxian sat on his corpse mountain and let everyone else say what they wanted to say. and when he left his corpse mountain, it was to bring his one-of-a-kind unparalleled sentient fierce corpse with him on night-hunts, which of course just fanned the flames of the rumors instead. he doesn't even tell the prospective pupils camped on his front door to fuck off - he just sneaks in through the back door.
this is not pragmatic behavior. though you can argue that wei wuxian's strategy here was to become so powerful and so scary that no one would dare try to fight him, anyone with a brain can tell you that this is not a sustainable solution in the long-term. first, if you want to use threats to keep someone from attacking you, you also need to promise stability - you need to give people the reassurance that if they don't start shit with you, then you'll leave them alone too. if you drive the "threat" factor too high, as wei wuxian did, you instead end up convincing people that if they do nothing you'll kill them anyways - that they have no choice but to kill you if they want to survive.
second, if you want to use threats to keep someone from attacking you, you also need to prepare for the inevitability that, if someone does end up getting hurt, everyone will blame you first and no one will want to hear your side of the story. after all, if someone gets hurt, then the first suspect everyone looks towards will be the guy who's been consistently saying "i'm strong enough to hurt you! i'm strong enough to hurt you! don't start shit with me because i'm strong enough to end you!" for the past few months. this is basic common sense. and yes, the society of MDZS is unfair - wei wuxian deserved a proper trial and investigation after the death of jin zixuan. but the fact that society is unfair is something a pragmatic person would have recognized and planned for.
wei wuxian did not recognize and plan for this reality. even after he accidentally kills jin zixuan, wei wuxian still insists that if only the jianghu investigates jin zixun's hundred holes curse, they'll see that wei wuxian didn't cast the hundred holes curse, they'll see that there was more scheming going on, etc etc. wen qing has to directly spell out for him that, at this point, society no longer cares about the truth of the matter. it seems that wei wuxian was actually oddly idealistic about the true nature of his society all the way until the very end.
all of this leads me to conclude that, when wei wuxian busted the wen remnants out of the qiongqi pass labor camp, he did so without considering the consequences of his actions. he assumed that he could improvise and weasel his way out of this situation, as he's always done in the past with his typical genius - only this time, he was wrong.
wei wuxian acts without considering the consequences of his actions. he does not make a decision only after carefully deliberating over all of the potential outcomes - not at all. instead, he acts in the moment - not out of any rational consideration of potential outcomes, but rather because it is simply something he must do. this by definition makes him a deeply unpragmatic person.
to put it into more familiar terms, for wei wuxian, the righteousness of an action comes not from its consequences, but are rather inherent to the action itself. even if he were doomed to fail, he could not give up on the wen remnants.
second, at critical junctures, wei wuxian is unable to make moral sacrifices. to be pragmatic is to know when you have to sacrifice: to know when, in order to achieve the most inalienable of your goals, you have to give up on some of your other goals. this is something wei wuxian is consistently unable to do.
of course, when it comes to his own wellbeing, wei wuxian is all too willing to sacrifice. he'll carve out any number of his internal organs to save those he loves. but this honestly speaks less to wei wuxian's moral framework and more to his lack of self-worth from a troubled upbringing.
because, when it comes to any moral cause, wei wuxian is entirely unable to sacrifice anything, even if being unable to sacrifice entails more negative consequences. wei wuxian could not sacrifice mianmian, jin zixuan, and lan wangji to wen chao and his goons, so he took action and took wen chao hostage himself. to sit back and do nothing as wen chao threatened the lives of those three was simply unthinkable for him - even if it meant taking a course of action that put yunmeng jiang in danger.
wei wuxian's relationship with jiang cheng deteriorated because jiang cheng did not know about the golden core transfer: because jiang cheng did not know that wei wuxian could no longer cultivate, from jiang cheng's point of view, it looked like wei wuxian was just refusing to help out and fulfill his promises for kicks. wei wuxian could have made things a lot easier for himself and also any wen remnants he chose to rescue had he simply told jiang cheng the truth - but he knew that finding out the truth of the golden core transfer would make jiang cheng miserable, and [jiang cheng's happiness] was not something he was willing to sacrifice.
wei wuxian's single most prominent moral decision is his refusal to allow the wen remnants to be sacrificed. anyone with a shred of political sense had to know that rescuing the wen remnants and then protecting them would be near impossible - that it entails making an enemy of the jin, and due to the jins' power, the entire jianghu. wei wuxian himself knew this; he is no moron. wei wuxian also had no long-term plan, no allies, and significantly less power than the rest of the world believed. yet, despite this all, he acted anyways, because he could not let the wen remnants be sacrificed.
the wen remnants wei wuxian rescued from the qiongqi pass labor camp included both regular civilians and cultivators. perhaps wei wuxian could have negotiated a proper release for the non-cultivating civilians, such as granny wen and a-yuan, had he chosen to give up on the cultivators. but - the question of whether this would have worked or not aside - this was not a sacrifice wei wuxian would be willing to make.
nor could wei wuxian sacrifice the safety of yunmeng jiang. i am firmly of the belief that, had yunmeng jiang formally stood by wei wuxian's side after wei wuxian attacked the jin-run labor camp, lanling jin would have eventually declared war on yunmeng jiang, and yunmeng jiang's would inevitably be destroyed. both wei wuxian and jiang cheng understood this as well - which is why wei wuxian told jiang cheng to let him go.
(you can argue - successfully - that wei wuxian did in fact sacrifice [his obligations to yunmeng jiang and his promise to jiang cheng] by leaving yunmeng jiang to protect the wen remnants. this is true. but i think that - from wei wuxian's point of view - this was not much of a sacrifice, because due to wei wuxian lacking a golden core, he already viewed himself as mostly useless to yunmeng jiang. so him leaving - in his view - is not really that much of a loss for yunmeng jiang.)
wei wuxian promised wen qing that he would return wen ning's consciousness to his corpse. when wei wuxian made this promise, he had no idea if he could actually pull it off or not. but then he did - and, in the process, created the most dangerous weapon the jianghu had seen in living memory. wen ning specifically, or moreso wei wuxian's inability to control him, leads to so much of wei wuxian's eventual downfall: wei wuxian loses control of wen ning and accidentally kills jin zixuan; when wen ning goes to turn himself in at jinlintai, he ends up going berserk again and killing another 10-20 jin and lan cultivators, which leads to the nightless city pledge conference. frankly, wei wuxian could have avoided a lot of trouble - or at the very least, a lot of the public's fear - had he not raised wen ning from the dead. it's not like he'd be completely defenseless without wen ning, either. but wei wuxian promised wen qing he would resurrect wen ning - and he could not sacrifice his promise to wen qing because of what wen qing had already done for him.
a pragmatic person is able to make sacrifices, including moral ones. at the very least, a pragmatic person recognizes when sacrifice is inevitable, when all paths lead to something being lost. a pragmatic person, put in the trolley problem, would recognize that there were only two options and that both options involve sacrifice: either he must kill one person, or he must allow five people to die. there is no path forwards in which all six people live.
wei wuxian is unable to make moral sacrifices. he clings on to all of these moral causes, all of these promises and obligations, and it is precisely because he attempts to hold onto all of them that he ends up losing everything. to reuse the previous example, wei wuxian in the trolley problem tried to save all six people because he could not accept any of the sacrifices made inevitable by the trolley problem.
to put this all together - wei wuxian is not a pragmatic person. he makes decisions with his gut, not his head - he does not consider the consequences of his actions before he acts. nor is wei wuxian able to make sacrifices - even necessary ones in order to avoid greater tragedies.
but. none of this means that wei wuxian is not a deeply heroic person. rather, to do what you believe to be righteous and attempt to live up to your ideals despite the consequences is exactly what MXTX lauds as moral. and to be unable to make a moral sacrifice when everyone else in your society easily does so is in fact deeply heroic.
it is precisely because wei wuxian is not pragmatic that MXTX declares him a hero.
some people, including myself, favor a moral framework that centers pragmatism and reason as virtues. to us, the ideal moral character is someone who makes decisions based on reason and not emotion, who considers the potential consequences of every course of action before making a decision, and who then, based on these inferred future consequences, uses reason to deduce which of all of the possible outcomes is the most preferable.
but this does not in fact describe wei wuxian, nor is this how wei wuxian views ethics. and to be honest, i don't think this is how MXTX views ethics either.
in all three of her stories, MXTX repeatedly comes down harder on the characters who make pragmatic decisions, the characters who are willing to sacrifice. in fact, killing sunshot soldiers while acting as wen ruohan's spy, and then killing nie mingjue's men in order to ensure a chance at killing wen ruohan and saving nie mingjue, was the pragmatic thing for meng yao to do, because that was the least bloody path forwards towards a sunshot victory over qishan wen. in fact, cutting ties with wei wuxian after he attacked the jin-run qiongqi pass labor camp was the pragmatic thing for jiang cheng to do, because it was the only path forward that did not put yunmeng jiang, his first and foremost responsibility, in the line of fire. and yet (though the situation is less clear with jin guangyao), MDZS as a narrative criticizes both jin guangyao and jiang cheng for these decisions - because, to MDZS, righteousness does not lie in pragmatism.
(this is a statement i personally disagree with. but we are here to discuss what MDZS wants to say about pragmatism and righteousness, not what i want to say about pragmatism and righteousness.)
by contrast, the one single act for which deeply controversial jiang cheng is ultimately lauded for in the narrative is also his single least pragmatic, most emotional act. the one single act of jiang cheng's that MDZS does not criticize is when, after the fall of lotus pier, jiang cheng ran out from his hiding spot to distract the wen soldiers from seeing wei wuxian. from a filial, duty-based point of view, this was a deeply stupid and unpragmatic course of action: jiang cheng's first and foremost duty, as the sole surviving jiang and new sect leader jiang, was to survive, rebuild his sect, and avenge his parents. from a consequentialist point of view, this impulsive choice is also what led to the domino-fall of tragedy that followed, since jiang cheng then got captured and had his golden core melted, which then led to everything else. yet this stupid, unpragmatic, and impulsive decision is ultimately the one act MDZS considers to be jiang cheng's single most heroic.
the key as to what MDZS considers to be heroic, what it considers to be righteous, lies in the jiang family motto: 明知不可而为之, attempt the impossible. this line, taken from the analects of confucius, can be considered to be a deeply deontological ideal. i find this twitter thread (warning to my followers: does kind of dunk on JC) to be rather helpful in elucidating this line's meaning.
to attempt the impossible, to try what shouldn't be tried. "ask yourself not whether you can do it, but whether you should...consider not the result but rather the journey - have a clear conscience regardless of outcome." in other words, what matters is less whether you succeeded or failed, or what sort of outcome your actions brought about - what matters is that you tried. what matters is that, in the face of overwhelming odds, you tried to do what you think is right. and even if you end up failing - even if everyone you sought to protect ended up dying - the fact that you tried still has moral weight.
this is why it was righteous of wei wuxian to save the wen remnants - even though the ultimate consequences of that decision were overall negative, even though everyone wei wuxian tried to protect died. in fact, if wei wuxian had died immediately - if he had been shot down by jin archers at the qiongqi pass labor camp the moment he came within their range - if he had died before any wen in the labor camp realized someone wanted to save him - he would still be a righteous person. because, for MDZS, what makes an action righteous is not its consequences. for MDZS, what makes a person righteous is not what impact their actions have on the world, but rather that they have the sort of moral character that leads them to never give up on their ideals.
wei wuxian does not consider the consequences of his actions before he acts. or, should i say - wei wuxian makes decisions despite their consequences, because despite the consequences there are simply some moral causes he simply cannot give up on. wei wuxian did not save the wen remnants because it was pragmatic to do so. it was in fact deeply unpragmatic to do so. no - wei wuxian saved the wen remnants without a concrete long-term plan, without having thought through anything beforehand, with the knowledge of how weak he was in reality - because he could not give up on the wen remnants, consequences be damned.
to have some moral causes you simply cannot give up on, no matter the consequences - to MXTX, is deeply heroic. in this sense, MXTX's moral philosophy is not pragmatic at all, because to be pragmatic is to be concerned with practical consequences. instead, both wei wuxian and MXTX herself are deeply idealistic, because what matters to them are ideals and principles that extend beyond consequence.
as the linked twitter thread notes, this is why MXTX waits until the very end of the book to reveal that wen yuan, now lan sizhui, lived. this is why wangxian only meet mianmian and her family at the end of the book. this is why all of the cumulative positive impacts of wei wuxian's resurrection - jin ling forgiving wei wuxian, jin guangyao, and wen ning, for one - are kept to the end of the story: because MDZS needs to move away from the consequentialist argument. MDZS needs to establish that wei wuxian's righteousness is separate from the impact of his actions: that wei wuxian isn't righteous merely because his actions had a positive impact for which others can thank him, but rather because the actions he undertook were inherently righteous on their own. that even if none of these positive impacts existed - if wen yuan had also died, if mianmian hadn't made it - then wei wuxian's choices would still be moral.
this is also why MDZS ultimately comes down harder on characters like jiang cheng and jin guangyao, even though a more results-oriented moral framework would instead laud such characters. both jiang cheng and jin guangyao are deeply pragmatic characters: they put concrete results before abstract moral ideals, and they're willing to compromise on their ideals in order to achieve better results. i am a JC stan and a jiggy apologist because of these exact traits. but MDZS is a narrative that criticizes such pragmatism and instead holds up wei wuxian's idealism as a moral ideal - so, in order to advance its themes, the MDZS narrative ends up criticizing both jiang cheng and jin guangyao.
ultimately, this idealism - this criticism of pragmatism - lies at the heart of MDZS's themes. wei wuxian's righteousness is directly connected to the fact that he is not pragmatic. the fact that wei wuxian makes moral decisions despite the consequences, and that he is unable to sacrifice any moral cause - is all part of what makes him at once deeply unpragmatic and deeply heroic.
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you see, the funny thing here is that i personally disagree with this theme. as i've said before, i'm a utilitarian. to me, the morality of an action does in fact arise from its consequences; to me, someone who compromises on their ideals to achieve better results is preferable to someone who adheres to all of their ideals and then loses everything. the character i consider to have had the greatest positive impact on this story's world is jin guangyao. the character i consider to have most dutifully fulfilled his obligations is jiang cheng.
therefore, i disagree with basically everything i wrote up there about "trying": i think that if you try to do the right thing, fail epically, and in the process of your failure get a bunch of other people killed as well, the fact that you failed this badly does in fact matter quite a bit. the bulk of my more haterish posts are born from this fundamental disagreement with what MDZS posits is righteousness.
however. as a reader i must recognize that [what i consider to be moral] and [what the author of this story considers to be moral] are two different things. my own moral philosophy may be heavily results-oriented, but MXTX's is much less so. therefore, regardless of what i think of wei wuxian, i conclude that MXTX ultimately intends for us to read wei wuxian as a heroic figure for the exact reasons i gave above - and that fact must then inform every analysis of MDZS i write.
#mdzs#wei wuxian#yanyan speaks#this analysis is also focused on wwx's first life bc wwx in his second life seems to give much fewer shits about moral causes tbh#second life for wei wuxian + all the good rewards at the end is basically a victory lap lol#anyways rip jiang cheng and jin guangyao for being pragmatists in a work that celebrates idealism#get dunked on ig#anyways wwx antis will read the above and go “well isn't this just a lot of words for 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions' ”#and like. yeah. that's correct#but mxtx is placing the majority of the moral weight on those good intentions imo#to mxtx - it is better to have heroic intentions and fail epically than it is to have unheroic intentions and achieve decent results.
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also on my hands and knees dying to know about ur divorce (and perhaps reconciliation maybe…) with sir croc
Firstly I wanna say croc is THE reason for the divorced tier I had everyone in the husband/fiance/bf (and cusp + complicated) tiers I had the list downloaded and then I looked at croc in the husband tier and I was like no. Divorced………
Anyway I think you’re a marriage of convenience at first. Crocodile needs a wife to look more like An Upstanding Citizen Ready To Settle Down for his plans in Alabasta, you need the stability and rapport for your own reasons. A deal was struck (including a nice shiny prenup and an easy way out for both of you), the wedding goes off without a hitch, and now you’re cohabitating.
You’re all but a stranger, truthfully, though he’ll admit you were one of the most beautiful brides he’s seen walking down the aisle. And he finds your presence in his home less distracting than expected—you stay out of his way mostly, though the pair of you eat meals together and sleep in the same bed and you are always expected to be on his arm for formal occasions. You’re more than decent company, slowly warming to him and growing more open; willing to give advice on occasion, even, and it’s good advice he’s prone to heeding.
Which is why he’s blindsided when you drop the papers on his desk. There’s little he can do—they were practically already signed before the wedding, and in the surprise he can’t compose himself enough to think up a proper protest. All he can do is fold his hands together as you turn to leave, clear his throat, and call out, “Might I ask why?”
You shrug. It almost seems sad. “I want something more. You’re a very busy man, I don’t think you can give that to me.”
And those words haunt him, all the more because every trace of you is gone in the span of a few days. He lays in his bed, alone, pondering how much you truly lived in his home and how much he truly had to give you. He thought he made sure you wanted for nothing—but, clearly, that wasn’t the case. And if he’d known you’d be gone in the span of a few years…
In hindsight perhaps he’d been a bit distant. His work took up the vast majority of his time. All those meals were more often than not spent in silence, with Crocodile leaving long before you finished your food; you were often asleep before he came to bed, still slumbering when he woke; he’d arrive to those formal events with you on his arm and part ways almost immediately, drawn to meet with some politician or another and leaving you on your own.
The bed feels empty.
And then he gets a report about Nefertari Vivi. It all goes downhill from there. The empire he spent years building crumbles beneath his feet, toppled by that godforsaken princess and the upstart pirate with a straw hat. And as he’s carted off to Impel Down… he still thinks of you.
It’s perhaps a good thing that you left when you did. In a certain sense it saved you, severing ties with him when you did. But foolishly he wonders about the timing—wonders if it would have happened at all if you’d stayed. Logically he knows the rationale is anything but sound.
Instinctively… whenever he gets out, whatever he intends to do next, he thinks he needs you at his side again.
So when the break-out happens, and Crocodile is given a freedom he’d nearly given up on, the first thing he does is begin to track you down.
It takes more than he thought it would. His web of informants isn’t half of what it once was, and his name no longer pulls as much weight, forced to remain in the shadows as he now is. You, meanwhile, catch onto the mystery person trying to keep tabs on you far too quickly for his liking—flighty thing, never quite setting down roots, quick to flee at the first sign of danger. A trait that has only seemed to worsen in his absence, it seems.
But it’s only a matter of time. He’s Sir Crocodile after all, back from banishment to the depths of the ocean, sure to see the sun again. His men close in on you within a year as he builds up his numbers again, but Crocodile ensures he’s the first to make contact.
He intends to show you immediately how things will be different this time.
You’ve made temporary home on a quaint little island, sharing a house with a little old granny who lets him in eagerly when he presents a bouquet and says it’s for you. There he waits, served tea and biscuits that he doesn’t taste.
And then the door opens. You pause when you see him, eyes wide—donning a breezy sundress you’d never have worn for him in Alabasta, your hair wind-tousled so unlike the meticulous updos he always saw you in, with a basket of produce under arm—and the sight of you has his chest unwinding. It’s like he can breathe again.
Not that he had any intentions to before, but the smell of your familiar perfume steels his resolve to never let you disappear again.
#one piece x reader#sir crocodile x reader#ask.🌧#saintshigaraki#char.🌧 sir crocodile#mine.🌧#concept heavily discussed w kae and alec on discord LOL so ty if u see this 🫶🏻#maybe tomorrow I’ll write reader’s side of the reunion but I am Eepy so I leave it there LOL#but just……. him being a bit neglectful the first go. kinda taking you for granted#and then having the shock of his life when u leave + he is taken down#and it turns into this almost psychosexual thing where u represent that success & power & being on the top#so he Needs you again and this time he will Not ignore u he will cherish you and hold you tightly and shower you w whatever you want#(unless you want a longer leash……… he will not give u that. u will be staying close)#(on his lap ideally)#anywayyyyy#did NOT proofread I am so tired LMFAOOOOOO#cw.yandere#I suppose LOL
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THE BLOODLINE WWE RAW (DECEMBER 23, 2024)
#wrestling#wwe#wwe raw#jey uso#solo sikoa#sami zayn#the bloodline#i swear every time the bl fam has another (usually jey as the damsel) on the ground or w/e but held up like that first image or so#it always looks like an art portrait of something way more dramatic and slightly biblical lmao#also shoutout to sami spending his last living moments laying his head in jeys lap - love that for him ideal way to go
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revising for my exams with a plushie in my lap because its that kind of day
#his name is goomba and hes a shark#hes about the size of a toddler and he can sit upright#i can rest my chin on his head when hes sat in my lap#ideal revision partner#life updates with jelly
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not pictured: me lying at his feet in a melted puddle of desire
#he’s tripping over me but it’s fine#for all maximus’ softness and sweetness and tenderness#he’s also the fiercest and most terrifying force of nature when he fights#get you a man who can do both#he’s scary and unbeatable and threatening TO YOU#for me he’s got heart eyes and hands as light as a feather 🥰#if he’s your ruthless archenemy who must be eliminated then what’s he doing with his head in my lap falling asleep while i stroke his hair??#huh??? what about it punk????#idk what these tags are#i’m just freaking out over him#over his precious duality of sweetness and harshness#i’m constantly torn between needing him to make sweet love to me#versus absolutely rail me against his cell bars#BOTH#both is good#both is ideal#make me your wife sir#make me even more of a lovestruck fool for you than i already am#jk i could never unless??? 👀#gladiator#maximus#maximus decimus meridius#gladiator 2000#russell crowe
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no i gotta say one more insane thing about them before i go to bed. she’s gotta be so touch-starved, right? like, she’s Always careful, she’s Always covered up, and that one moment where she allows herself to kiss bobby in x2, she goes in so hard and fast and hungry for it that she starts to drain him. but that’s it, that’s as far as she gets to sate it because it’ll always either end with her being pushed away for that person’s safety or with her hurting them so badly that they can’t come back from it.
except. well. that won’t happen with logan. because he’s not scared of her, and he won’t shove her away. he’d let her take and take and take and take. has.
so think about marie getting to feed her touch-starvation bit by bit with him. coaxes herself into hugs where she’s a little less careful, presses her face to his neck for a moment. rolls her sleeve up so he can hold her upper arm. gets to lay in his lap and get her hair pet, little shocks of her power latching onto his fingers as he runs fingers over her scalp. because he’s the only one she can have this with, so he has to let his own barriers down to give it to her. he can’t just let her starve. he wouldn’t. so the wolverine learns how to cuddle. for her.
#ideally this is still in the canon mode of their relationship btw so they’re just Weird about each other#and rogue is still trying to date bobby because you know. she should be and he is sweet.#she’s just also spending 90% of her time when logan’s at the mansion in his lap getting touched. because she needs it so so bad.#you know :3
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in which, a mad beast, in the midst of his Hunt, wearing the immeasurable malice of his own wrath and bloodlust, meets the victim of a society crueler then even himself. and dare he do this, be it out of childish interest, curiosity, a playboy show of arrogance-
he-shockingly-doesn't turn his eye.
(WARNING HEAVY ART THEMES UNDERCUT; No gore, but Imprisonment, implied abuse and torture)
"...Oh?"
"What do we have here~?"
#mypost#note this post by no means glorifies burning spice's own thoughts ideals and actions but he does hold some symbiose of honor and standards#albiet immoral ones that entirely depend on his own degree of interest; his amusement and value of entertainment#but honor nonetheless#he plays and crumbles with his prey for the fun and sadistic thrill of it but not for no reason at all#there are methods of brutality even burning spice doesn't touch#my art#crk#cookie run kingdom#cookie run#burning spice cookie#tw imprsionment#tw implied enslavement#tw implied heavy abuse#dont mind me just showing off exactly the places my mind goes#just to have the chance to sit in this dude's lap and not be immediately cut down#in my defense the beasts are interesting charas to explore#and exploring what could be the monster's questionable moral obligations is a curious and incredibly fascinating thing.#crk burning spice cookie
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Ok. Get closer why don’t you.
#Chakotay opens the door to Janeway's ready room and the two of them are literally in each other's laps#but they're talking very seriously about work business and seem unperturbed by Chakotay's entrance#<- my ideal (bc I think it's funny)#Chakotay: What are you and Tuvok to each other?#Janeway: ?? He's one of my dearest friends and most valuable officers.#Chakotay: Right. No..it's just that I saw you kiss his hand the other day? As if pledging loyalty to a monarch but more tender than that -#there was a glitter in your eyes like love but to call it 'love' would cheapen it so you leave it unnamed? I just saw that and was curious.#Janeway: That's just a friend thing v_v are we on for dinner?#Chakotay: Sure (later) Hey Tuvok what is Janeway to you?#Tuvok: She is one of the greatest individuals I have ever had the honor of knowing - someone I consider a friend - family -#and a piece of my very soul can be found within her. Why?#Chakotay: Aren't you married?#Tuvok: -equivalent of sighing- it isn't romantic. (right. yeah of course.)#<- my ideal (bc I think it's hilarious)#It isn't romantic Chakotay my God...Have you read any poetry lately? Once you get 1000 hours into ancient poetry THEN maybe you'll get#what's going on#Also sidenote this crew is fucking doomed mental health wise HEHEHE they tried therapy ONCE (after trying 'literally just erase the trauma')#and the therapist FELL ASLEEP#I love these bastards HEHEHEHE#Janeway: Doctor I'm going to do my best to help you...I allowed you to evolve into a being greater than a mere hologram and I owe it to you#to let youzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzsnorkmimimimi#tuvok cam
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my dog has decided that this is how we should sleep tonight and ngl i love him but i have some critiques here
#he CORRALLED me#he’s Very old and everyone was worried he wouldn’t be as attached to me anymore since i was gone for so long#but i really cannot leave the room without him chasing after me#very slowly though because he’s old and his legs are short#im SO obsessed with him#oh plot twist i was typing tags and our cat came in#so now my legs are straight and she’s on my lap#and i am in a position that is Not ideal for sleeping#like 70% of this bed is not being used despite three creatures being on it smh#why are they like this#my dog best boy on earth for real though#can’t even complain that much because it’s my BOY and he still KNOWS me and he still LOVES me#i WILL cry if i think too much about it#at least my legs are straightened now so my knees aren’t completely locking up anymore ig#life junk#not anime
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yeah im into bdsm
-Being
-D
-Soft to old
-Men
#taken from my dms with my friend however it's very much the mood today. and every day#im on that fucked up shit (wanting to pet his hair as he rests his head in my lap)#my ideal date is 6-8 hours of cuddling. whats not clicking#anyway . you all know
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Kirk and spock are soooo low maintenence you have no idea
#random thoughts#star trek#sorry im thinking about the sex lives of the captain and his second in command rn#kirk? absolute pillow princess. he does not want to do ANYTHING.#he will let spock manhandle him and push his face into the matress and he will be GRATEFUL#he does not want to do shit or jack. he has had so much sex over the years and has done so much weird shit he's tired guys (he's like 36)#the most active kirk gets is when he sucks spock off under his desk okay he's fucking lazy#god he's probably so into cockwarming. he doesn't want to come he just wants to sit there and be full#he's fine with whatever but if he has to use his core muscles or pelvis in any way shape or form he'll be so brave about it (he's so mad)#spock is just happy to be here tbh#spock likes touching!!! he does not like to be touched. he must initiate the touching.#spock wants to touch and to rake and to bite and to absolutely fuck up kirk's back#(taking a break here i think eventually after like twenty years they gradually stop having regular sex. queens of lesbian bed death)#he wants to sit on kirk's lap and go absolutely mad dog at his neck. bark and growl even#ideal scenario for spock is for kirk to just not acknowledge whatever shit he's doing he does not want to be PERCEIVED#so what if he grabs kirk's hand and puts it on his face. what are you a cop#he WILL grab kirk's hand and kiss EVERY SINGLE ONE OF HIS FINGERS and kirk will NOT DO SHIT SO HELD HIM GOD#he will do some shit and absolutely not acknowledge it even if kirk brings it up#'spock what in the world are you doing' 'i don't know what you mean captain' and he WILL do it again#kirk does NOT have to do anything#god they've probably dabbled in somnophilia. spock would be so into it#like it's not that spock DOESN'T want kirk to be involved when they have sex. but like.#spock doesn't like it when people watch him work#he probably watches kirk sleep sometimes. pokes his face to watch it twitch like touching a snail's eye stalk.#i dont think they have conversations about sex. like actual in-depth conversations#spock tries but kirk usually gets so awkward about it he agrees to whatever just to get spock to shut up about it#kirk: communication is key to a healthy relationship except when i do it specifically with spock#spock is just so. CLINICAL. it's hard to listen to (if you know what i mean)#spock has used kirks aversion to talking about sex to his advantage (used it to unknowingly make him agree to upgrades to the science wing)#kirk probably likes voyeurism. spock feels weird about kirk watching him masturbate
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I also pet a sheltie today and the lady was talking about how he's super smart and friendly and rarely sheds and doesn't need brushed super often and I was like "I want to take your dog"
#his name was Tucker#he was also here in 2019#there was also an extremely friendly chocolate lab who kept putting his head in everyone's laps#and tried to lay on me#unfortunately I am allergic to labs because they really are ideal dogs#he had a little white spot on his chest too which was so cute#both of them kept staring at my mask so I bent down to let them sniff it#they were like ''where is your face??''
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None of the Parenting 101 books that your husband, Toji, read during your pregnancy could've prepared him for the unmatched curiosity of your now four year old son, Megumi.
"Daddy," said Megumi, while sitting on Toji's lap, "what do you do for work?"
"Sticking your nose into other people's business, now, are you?" he joked. "Why do you want to know, kid?"
"'Cause I wan' know." Yup, preschoolers could be as sassy as ever.
"Cheeky little thing," Toji said, giving his son's chubby cheek a playful little pinch.
"Daaaaad, just tell me already."
Toji hesitated for a bit, before complying. "I get rid . . . of people—"
"That are bad!?" an overly eager Megumi asked, his eyes shining. Honestly, for someone his age, he should not be excited by the idea of his dad killing people, but he had some ideals different from others. Courtesy of his innocence.
"Sure."
You giggled quietly to yourself from your seat on the living room couch as you watched the whole situation unfold; your son, jumping up and down, and your husband, looking as bored as he always did.
"So you're like a superhero!"
Toji grinned at his son, ruffling his sea urchin-like hair. "Nah, not quite."
Confused, Megumi asked, "But you're strong. . ? So that means you're Superman!"
"Nope."
"Batman! Because he always wears black and is super duper scary."
"Not even close, buddy."
Laughing, you couldn't help the comment that escaped your lips, "Wish you were as rich as him, though."
Toji deadpanned, "You married me."
"I'm not complaining, am I?" you teased, pressing a chaste kiss to Toji's temple. Just as you were about to back away, you let out a high pitched squeal as he pulled you back for a real kiss.
Unlike most kids, who would say "Yuck", Megumi, beaming at the both of his parents, giggled innocently. "Mommy should marry Batman! Because he is rich, and makes the bad people go bye-bye!"
#i like writing little megumi as a bubbly kid#<- (when surrounded by ppl he's comfortable with)#but i also want to try writing a shy megumi . . .#toji x reader#jjk x reader#jjk x you#toji fluff#megumi fluff#toji x you#toji fushiguro x reader#em writes ˎˊ˗
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pretty in lingerie… only sweet thoughts about each of tf141’s favourite positions𝜗𝜚 ⋆˚࿔
Warnings: this post contains descriptions of smut.
Simon “Ghost” Riley’s favourite position with you would definitely be mating press or doggy style. It depends on his mood, but he usually likes mating press for when he knows he’s going to fuck his load into your pussy over and over again, relentlessly. It gives him easy access to your core and allows him to really hit the spot deep in you, with the plus of being able to watch your sweet expressions as he drills your sopping hole with no mercy. He also ideally liked the way that mating press came with the added extra of seeing your stomach bulge with the outline of his cock, thick and deep, filling you up so nicely.
Captain John Price’s would be good ol’ missionary, preferring to have you underneath him and helpless as he assaulted your mound, his thick cock making your walls tighten around him, threatening to come right that very moment. However, he would also enjoy you being on top from time to time, maybe when he’s busy or just tired, he likes to watch his pretty girl ride him in cowgirl until you get flustered and overstimulated by the friction on your sensitive little clit.
Johnny “Soap” Mactavish would have you in reverse cowgirl all day if he could, loving the sight of your peachy bum rippling as he guides your hips up and down hard on his lengthy cock. It also allows for him to pull your hair back, your body following, pressing into his chest as he groans and kisses your neck. He enjoyed reaching around to your stomach and feeling his dick pump in and out of your sweet pussy, tightening around him with every thrust.
Kyle “Gaz” Garrick’s favourite position would be the lotus, loving the feel of intimacy and romance that comes with it. You were sitting in his lap, his hands gently guiding your hips down onto his, pussy lapping up his cock like there was no tomorrow. The face to face contact only intensified both of your climax’s, allowing for extra passionate kissing in between thrusts, moans melting in your mouths as your orgasm began to build up, clit getting friction from rubbing against his lower abdomen.
obsession becoming borderline unhealthy..
#cod men#·.༄࿔ { 🕯️ }#pure smut#simon riley smut#tf 141#john price smut#johnny mactavish smut#kyle garrick smut#captain john price#simon riley#kyle gaz garrick#johnny soap mactavish#smut#coquette#babylove#call of duty x reader#cod x reader#cod smut#call of duty smut
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my first sauna experience, told with katsuki bakugo. warnings for nsfw, afab reader, no pronouns used tho! reader wears a bikini, semi public? (it's a sauna), bit of nipple play, kats likes boobs n booty, hickeys, uses of "babe" and "bitch", fingering, mentions of the pill.
katsuki bakugo despises saunas. he sweats like crazy during his day to day life, so him being trapped in a room that makes him sweat balls isn't ideal. unless, he's trapped inside with you.
what started out as a pool day to cool off led to to borderline suffocation, the vapor and eucalyptus leaves making your body tense up even more as you straddle the blond's lap. his lips clash against yours in a hungry, desperate kiss, as his hands roam over your thighs.
katsuki bakugo is intoxicating. once you kiss him, it suddenly becomes impossible to stop. the way his tongue slips past your lips to wrestle yours so easily, how he bites your bottom lip not too hard for it to bleed, but hard enough to leave a mark, how he always manages to find that sweet spot on your neck as he nibbles his way to your breasts—
katsuki bakugo is a fucking genius. sometimes.
there's a limit to his greatness. because you're katsuki's first everything, and he's fucking clueless. as his hand carefully (and cluelessly) fondles your breast beneath your bikini, you giggle. looking at him, you smile. "you can leave a mark on me, y'know? i don't bite."
he scoffs, "you think i wanna hear shit from my mom during lunch when she sees you?"
"you can leave it somewhere she doesn't see, kats. i'll give you creative liberty, picasso."
katsuki retrives his hand as he starts to think. his looks your body up and down, looking for a spot. neck is a no-go, you never wear turtlenecks. thighs and stomach are off limits too, because half your closet is filled with cropped tshirts and shorts. you knew he had figured something out when his fingers gently pushed aside your bikini, driving his mouth to your breast. he suckles on a spot right above your nipple, as his fingers pinch to his liking.
your body's quick to react, back arching slightly as your hand is placed on katsuki's chest. "careful" you hiss, and he pays no mind. unconsciously, you buck your hips towards him, earning a groan in return. you let your hands roam through his hair, when he pulls away, a smirk is plastered on his face. "kinda looks like a heart. i did a damn good job."
his lips connect with yours once again, and his hands lower towards your ass. it's not unusual for katsuki to do so, but you notice their trajectory is a bit different this time. his fingers brush over the hem of your panties as you shudder, holding back a moan.
"let me see it" he demands, "just once."
and you nod, looking up at the ceiling from pure embarrassment. because it hasn't been too long since you and katsuki have been intimate. it drives you crazy how he's not shameful at all.
he pushes your panties to the side, groaning at the sight. his fingers ghost over your clit, two of them slowly sinking inside you. the sight of you taking his fingers is enough for katsuki to feel his cock twitch with excitement in his swim trunks. and as they begin to thrust, you lean closer to him, mewling his name right in his ear. it’s exhilarating, the thought that anyone could burst through the door is enough for katsuki to speed things up, just the way he likes it.
you curse your boyfriend’s coarse fingers, the sounds that escaped your lips were so raw, so lewd—you thought the security guard would bust you down at any second. and as you gripped desperately on katsuki's shoulders, he hums. it’s mostly during these moments when you see a side to katsuki bakugo the world has never seen.
“fuck—i need your pretty pussy. right now—please—just take me raw.”
katsuki bakugo begs.
your eyes widen at his statement, “katsuki, you do realize i’m not on the pill, right?”
he abruptly retrieves his fingers. “i’ll pull out, i swear—just fucking do it.”
you giggle at your boyfriend’s neediness, “you do realize if something goes wrong, we’ll have little me’s running around in a few months, right? it’s a no for now, kats. we’re still young.”
katsuki sighs, his hands guiding your hips as he aligned your entrance with his clothed cock. “then fucking use me. got that?”
you waste no time rocking your hips, slowly grinding against his bulge. with his hands still on you, katsuki throws his head back as he bucks his hips forward, helping you quicken the pace. “d’you know how good you feel? ‘s like you’re riding me, babe.”
you know katsuki is long gone from pleasure when he pulls out the names. when he’s a moaning mess, hungrily pulling you towards him, you know you have him right where you want him. a few slaps, rough kisses, and hair pulling, and katsuki is at his limit.
“fuck—bitch—i’m done” is what he manages to say before he comes undone, his forehead bumping against yours as he mutters a small ‘i love you.’
as you catch your breath, you plant a quick peck on your boyfriend’s cheek. “you ready for lunch with your parents, kats?”
“you shitting me?” he asks, bewildered. “you’re lucky i’m changing my trunks, cause i got nut all over.”
#bnha x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugo smut#bakugo x reader#bnha smut#bakugo x you#katsuki x reader#katsuki x you#katsuki smut#dynamight x reader#mha x reader#my hero academia x reader#boku no hero academia x reader#bnha x you#mha x you#bnha x y/n#bnha bakugou#bakugou x reader#bakugou x you
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