#which like. i'm not saying there's anything wrong with that. i'm the fucking ben hope guy and i try not to be hypocritical

[indi-glo-archive]

the young royals fandom is so fucking weird about sara and i hate them for it

[nymph-ette111]

What if Jeff, EJ, Toby, Masky, Hoodie, and Ben (separately) found Y/N silently crying? Would they help or try to calm down Y/N?

That's it, sorry if I chose too many creepypastas ❤

I hope you have a great day/night!!

(I love your writing style aaaaah! Luv ya >< )

Sorry if I sounded cringe ;)

WARNINGS; JEFF BEING AN ASSHOLE LIKE USUAL/TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS, MENTIONS OF A DECAPITATED BODY

AUTHOR'S NOTE; NO ONE HERE IS CRINGE!! and I love you too <3 was giggling and kicking my feet writing masky and hoodie's part LOL

TOBY;

-the first thought that comes to his mind is that somebody caused this.

-may be a bit rough when asking what's wrong, because like I mentioned before, he just jumps into the conclusion that it's someone else's fault.

-Toby is a little... impulsive when it comes to solving his problems, always going the aggressive route.

-basically what I'm trying to say is that he is willing to chop up someone's body if they did something bad enough to make you cry.

-he will pry the information out of you, whether you want to or not.

-he doesn't realize that this makes things worse for you :( let's be realistic, imagine crying to your boyfriend because someone bothered you just for him to leave and come back covered in blood holding the head from said person's decapitated body.

-he'll even try to hug you, not caring if he is covered head to toe in blood, not caring if the smell was overwhelming your senses. he'll get upset if you refuse his "affection" and "comfort". sometimes Toby's thinking is... hard to understand.

-99% chance you're going to throw up from the sight alone. what I'm trying to say here is Toby's attempt at making you feel better is nowhere near what it's supposed to be.

-but if that wasn't the case and your crying was because of something else like an insecurity, just the overall stress of your day, basically anything that doesn't involve another person he'd be less aggressive.

-wouldn't really know what to say so he'd just go for physical affection and hope that it works.

-now this part depends on you since not everyone likes physical touch when upset. if you don't mind it then he's going to hold you until you feel better. if you don't he'd respect your wishes but he won't leave, even if you ask him to.

-would kiss away your tears one hundred percent.

-i'd give him about... 7/10 less if he brings back a corpse with him but the physical affection is nice :)

JEFFREY:

-love how your relationship is hanging on by a thread.

-it's surviving off of hopes and prayers bro.

-Jeff believes that he should be the only one who can make you upset in any way shape or form. I'd say he doesn't take the idea of someone else making you feel bad very lightly.

-not even in a "oh, someone made my partner upset! not on my watch!" he's just offended because it feels like someone took his place or something.

-yeah did I mention he's toxic as fuck.

-i honestly don't know how he'd react... contrary to popular belief I don't think he'd go out of his way to kill somebody because they made his partner upset like Toby would. in Toby's case it's out of pure love obsession and the need to please you. in Jeff's case he'd probably kill for his own benefit which I mentioned before, someone taking his place.

-fuck it he'd probably kill the person just to torment you, he enjoys that shit.

-however if it's your own feelings regardless of what it is, he'd pretend to not care.

-i think I somewhat implied it in my "stretch marks" post that he doesn't know how to handle his partner's emotions. insecurities or not, big chance he won't do anything, probably throw an insult or two just to make you feel pathetic.

-damn I don't think any fluff post with Jeff would work.

-how can this motherfucker even be nice.

-and if you're asking, no he would never break up with you. you boost his ego a little too much and he doesn't want to lose that.

-he doesn't want to admit it but he's attached to you to a certain degree.

-i'd give it... why are you even reading this it's an obvious 0/10

EYELESS JACK;

-im torn between making EJ the feral demon he is or making him more... human.

-i think I lean towards the more human side when writing for Jack but that might change in the future. expect all of my headcanons to change since I'm still trying to figure this out. even for his personality.

-i should make a poll for that... ANYWAYS

-regardless of the reason, he'd react pretty much the same way.

-he's so sweet and comforting it's actually insane :(

-he's naturally awkward but the voice, the way he weighs and genuinely considers his words before speaking, trying to find the best way to make you feel better can make anyone instantly fold I'm TELLING YOU.

-bro sounds smart and is smart just the way he talk to you is enough to make you move on from whatever had happened.

-intelligent men are so

-head scratches after he's done giving you his advice and point of view of the situation.

-my husband<3

-tries to get you out of your room after that, or just include you in whatever so you wouldn't think about it again. like offering to invite you to the infirmary, there's always an extra seat for you there :)

-i might be biased but 9/10

BEN;

-i've said this before and I'll say it again, does not know how to comfort people. especially ones he cares about.

-he just... stands at the doorway (or floats, whatever you like)

-if it was another person he laugh at them right away, but considering you're his partner he'd fight the urge for your sake.

-actually he might laugh a bit but if he notices that you're clearly serious about what upset you he'd drop it.

-would download a virus on the other person's devices.

-he thinks it's funny.

-he genuinely tries to make you feel better tho, just doesn't know how :(

-if you're insecure about something then he'd react similarly to my "stretch marks" post and try to convince you that whatever it is about you, it's beautiful.

-might come off as corny tho.

-either way... I'd give him a 5/10 maybe even 6/10 if bullying kids on roblox cheers you up.

MASKY;

-regardless of the reason, he'll ask what's wrong but secretly hopes you don't want to talk about it.

-he is a teen tiny bit awkward.

-kind of like Toby, he goes for physical affection and hopes it's enough to take your mind off of it somehow.

-but the hugs this man gives...

-might as well stay there forever.

-just imagine him holding you tight to his chest, one hand rubbing your back while the other plays with your hair. a cig hanging loosely from between his lips UGH

-can you tell I'm listening to lana del rey while writing this.

-again he might not offer much in terms of... actually saying something to comfort you but his hugs are enough and if they aren't then girl what the fuck is wrong with you.

-i need him.

-i give 8/10

HOODIE;

-another one who relies on the physical affection only because he's a selective mute.

-unless you know sign language.

-unlike masky, instead of a hug you're sitting on this man's lap.

-his mask up to the bridge of his nose, scruff facial hair grown from years of not taking proper care of himself rubbing against your flush cheeks, strong arms holding you tightly against him.

-i genuinely cannot continue writing this so I'm ending it here because another word of describing this man will have me tweaking out 9/10

[emycantconsentrate]

solitaire Ranttttt

I love this book and I've read it at least 30 times. i just want to say before I start that these are my personal opinions about the book.

I know i said I've read it a lot but i still don't know everything so please don't get mad if i get any facts incorrect.

Solitaire starts as Victoria (tori) Spring is starting school after x-mas or winter break. Tori lives with her mom, dad, and two brothers, Charlie and Oliver. Charlie, who is also in the heartstopper comics, struggles with an ED. I truly think that this effects Tori's life a lot. I know its not Charlies fault but I'm sure tori is almost constantly worrying about him. Tori and her mother don't get along very well. I'm not entirely sure why they don't but i think they touch more on that fact in This Winter. I've read it but it was a long time ago and i really need a reread.

on a different note. I've been needed to talk about this but none of my friends care enough. This is a controversial opinion but i hate Becky. she is such a bitch to tori and i just can't stand her. i know most of the time when tori and her would fight it would be when Becky is drunk but that doesn't make anything she has done right. she dated Ben Hope, one of the worst people in the universe of solitaire. i guess i don't really have a true reason to hate her accept for the fact that i have had friends like Becky. its all fine and its a beautiful friendship, then out of nowhere they go behind you and become friends or start dating someone that isn't a good person. they don't know they are a bad person and you do. and if you try to tell them that they are a bad person they either don't care or they don't believe you. I truly don't get why people like Becky. this is way too much but I'm going to do it any way. I'm going to analyze one of their fights.

pages 226-228 Solitaire

Becky was kissing Ben Hope after 100% knowing how awful of a person he was and still is to her best friends little brother. Tori sees this happening at the Solitaire party and is furious. which is completely reasonable because of how actually nasty he is.

after ben walks off Becky asks tori what she's looking at. in the next bit tori just goes off on her saying stuff like "you are a nasty bitch," and "you just don't care, do you?"

"that's it isn't it? I'm you naive little friend whose sad little life makes you feel better about yourself. well, you're absolutely spot-on there. I haven't got a single clue about anything. But you know what i do know? I know when someone is being a nasty bitch. Go ahead and cry your little crocodile tears if you want to. You don't fucking care at all do you?" this is a rant Tori goes on while arguing. This leaves Becky absolutely speechless.

"well- you- you're the one being a nasty bitch! Jesus Christ just calm down." After Becky says this Tori tells the reader that, i quote, "this is bad. I need to stop. I can't" Tori is now aware that she can't help was she says anymore. She no longer trust Becky. She no longer has a "BFF". Becky has betrayed her.

Tori continues to yell at Becky. "I'm sorry - do you have any comprehension of the level of betrayal you have just reached? Do you have any concept of friendship? I didn't think it was possible for someone to be that selfish, but clearly i've been wrong all this time" Tori is very very upset now and then says " You've killed me. You've literally killed me."

Becky has single handedly DESTORYED Tori. Becky is awful, and of course she just tells her to calm down. she literally was just making out with a boy that SA'd HER BEST FRIENDS BROTHER! and she knew he did it. which is ACTUALLY INSANE!!!!!

just the amount of betrayal and shit she caused makes be fucking sick to my stomach. yeah i do know that its a fake story and they aren't real people. it's just the fact that people like Becky do really do shit like this. I can't believe people are actually capable of stuff like this.

i really need to shut up but i have two more quotes from Tori then I'll stop.

"You have solidly proven that everyone and everything is shit. well done. Gold star. please delete yourself from my life."

" i am gone. I am gone. I guess everyone is like this. Smiles, hugs, years together, holidays, late night confessions, tears, phone calls, one million words - they don't mean anything. Becky doesn't care. No one really cares."

thank you for listening/reading

[natsgrave]

IN THE NEXT LIFETIME | natasha romanoff

but in those photos, i saw us instead and, somehow, i know that you and i would've found each other in another life. you still would've turned my head even if we'd met. you're always gonna be mine, we're gonna be timeless. → warnings: mention of blood and shooting. ( kinda cheating as well ) ps; some tenses may be wrong and i'm so sorry for that. again, english is not my first language so excuse my poor grammar and writing style. but i do hope you enjoy this story of mine! ( song inspired. the song is made by Ben&Ben ) i do not give permission for my work to be copied or translated on other sites. plagiarism is a crime! masterlist whispers of heartache m.list

I'm Y/N Y/L/N also known as the perfect daughter of the General in the Philippines. But let me tell you a secret, I like girls and no one knows. not even my parents because as their daughter, I need to live with their expectations. not just for them but also for the public, I need to protect our family name and reputation.

While I'm reading a book there's a knock in my door that caught my attention. I shouted a "come in" and when the door opens, it revealed my father with a wide smile.

"Someone looks happy," I pointed out and he laughs before sitting beside my bed. I fixed myself and lean my back at the headboard.

"I have something to tell you, a good news." He said, "Really?" I said with a smile and he nods.

"Well, you know the son of General Rogers in America?" Father asked and I nod, "Both of you are getting married." He finishes and I felt my world crashed.

Not only because I'm getting married to a man but also because I'm getting married to someone I don't even know.

"They'll be coming here to prepare for the wedding in a few weeks." He added snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Wait, that soon!? I don't even get a chance to know him, to bond with him then all of a sudden we're getting married?" I said seriously.

"Don't worry, daughter. We just gonna prepare for it but you still have 2 months to know each other," He said and kissed my forehead, "I'll leave you now, I have something to do." And with that he left my room without saying another word.

I closed my already forgotten book harshly. I was so shocked by the news that I stayed at my place without doing anything. What the fuck just happened?

Now, that was 2 weeks ago. And today, here we are greeting the Rogers family.

"General Rogers, it was nice to finally see you again." My father said with a smile which Mr. Rogers returned.

"It was nice to see you too again, General Y/LN. This is my son, Steve Rogers." He introduced the guy standing beside him.

He's tall, muscular, and let's say he's handsome but that doesn't change the fact that I like women and not guys.

"Well, it's nice to finally meet you, Steve. This is my daughter, Y/N." Father said and pulled me beside him. I put a fake smile and extend my hand, "Hi, it's nice to meet you." Steve gladly accepted my hand with a smile on his face, "You look gorgeous, miss Y/LN." He said and if I can just say it out loud, I'd totally tell him that it cringes me.

"Thankyou, Steve. You don't look bad yourself." I complimented back and we stayed silent just looking at each other's eyes.

"Come on in, let's talk about the wedding." Father said breaking our eye contact and I extracted my hand from him.

Few hours later, and here they are, still talking about the wedding and let me tell you, it's boring as fuck and I don't know how Steve can be so interested in this. I excuse myself and walked to the garden seeing a redhead standing alone.

"Hey," I said making my presence know, she turned around and when she saw me she bows a little before looking at me with a small smile.

"When did you get here?" I asked as I stand beside her.

"Along with the Rogers family, miss Y/LN." She respectfully said and I chuckled making her look at me confused, "Why are you laughing?" The woman asked and I shook my head. "Nothing, and please call me Y/N." I said and she smiled before walking around the garden.

"What's your name by the way? and are you Steve's sister?" I asked looking at her while following.

"I'm Natasha and no, I'm not her sister. I'm... their maid." She said whispering the last part.

"Hey, don't be ashamed. Being maid is nothing to be ashamed of, it's a decent job." I said causing her to smiled at me widely. "Thankyou."

The day continues and we're getting to know eachother, she have a sister and her name was Yelena. Her parents name was Melina and Alexei. Talking to her was comfortable and there's no awkward space between us like we've known each other for so long.

Her laugh is so good to my ears, her eyes that I can look forever along with her smile that made me feel weird things. As the day comes to an end, she excuse herself to do her job. She goes first before I followed few minutes after.

"Where have you been?" Father asked once they saw me entered the dining room.

"Just walking around the garden. I'm sorry, got lost track of time." I said and sat down noticing Natasha standing on the other side along with the other maids. I sent her a smile which she returned.

"How's your day everyone?" I asked while the maids do their job, serving us.

"It's good, but it'll be much better if you're there with us to organize the plans." Steve said with a smile which I return.

We continue the night talking about what they want and plans while I kept stealing glances at Natasha. When she caught me sometimes, I'll just send her a smile which gladly, she returns.

As the days goes by, I've been learning more and more about Natasha. we're hanging out more than we should have. more than me and Steve would probably talk.

Everyday, I tried to act enthusiastically in front of everyone until I got tired and go to my spot, where I met Natasha for the first time. It becomes our spot.

Until there's this night that I realized, I fell inlove. with her. It maybe be risky but that's what I feel and I decided to face it.

"Steve?" I called out for him.

"Yes, Y/N?" He asked and gave me his full attention.

"Can I borrow Natasha? I need to talk to her." I said and he furrowed his eyebrows. "Did she do something?" Steve asked and ready to go out and find Natasha.

This is also the thing that I've learned from him, he's nice, caring, and sweet. Steve Rogers is a very good man. A gentleman and thoughtful. He is every girl's dream boy but not me.

I stopped him, "Steve, no, she didn't do anything. I just needed to talk to her." I calmed him down, "Are you sure?" he asked and I simply nodded.

He gave me a warm smile before letting me find Natasha. I went to her room and knocked for a couple of times before hearing a foot steps followed by the door opening revealing the newly woke up girl.

"Hey, I'm sorry, did I wake you up? I can go if you want." I said and ready to leave when she stopped me. "No, it's okay. Please, come in." She said yawning before stepping aside.

"I have something to tell you." I told her seriously sitting at the edge of her bed.

"Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry, please don't tell them to fired me." Natasha begged and kneel in front of me.

"Hey, no, please listen to me first." I said and pulled her to sit beside me.

I lift her chin and wiped the tears that fell into her beautiful face. She looks at me in the eyes and I swear to every guardian, I'm falling for her even more without her doing anything.

"I like you." I suddenly blurted out. My eyes widen and she looks at me shocked.

"I- uh, what?" She asked can't comprehend what I just confessed.

Fuck! now or never?

I took a deep breath before holding her hands, "I like you. I realized that I fell for you already and I just, I can't hide it. I like you and I don't care if you like me too or not. I just like you." I confess.

She smiled at me with a blush on her face, "I-I like you too," Natasha confessed and it makes me smile widely. "Really?" She nods and I hugged her tight.

"Oh my god, this is definitely one of the happiest moment in my life." I said making her giggle. "Me too, Y/N. Me too."

After that night, we now always keep stealing glances at eachother. We keep our relationship a secret for obvious reasons. We would sneak out late at night to each other's room and come back soon before the others woke up.

Then, this night comes. The night before the wedding, everyone was here. My father and Steve's family's friends. All of them are having fun while all I want is this night to end and be on Natasha's arms.

We dance around, talk, and laugh while I felt two pair of eyes watching me. I look around and found Natasha looking at me. I gave her a smile and mouthed 'I love you' which she replied with 'I love you too'

We continued the night until this one soldier came to my father and whispered something to him changing his all happy demeanour to anger.

He left the room and I excuse myself following him behind. I saw him went to the garden and found Natasha was there also. I stayed behind waiting what he's going to do until I saw him pulled his gun out and pointed it to Natasha.

Before he can pull the trigger, I put myself between them catching and feeling the bullet goes to my back. Natasha turned around and saw me, she instantly smile but fades away when I collapsed in her.

"Oh my god, Y/N? Are you okay? What's going on?" She asked panicking and saw blood comes out to my mouth, "Y/N?" Natasha looked up and saw my father holding a gun. "Shit, Y/N? Don't close your eyes, please." She said and tears start to form on her eyes, the people started to fill in and saw the situation.

"What happened?" Steve asked and sat beside me, "Natasha? what happened?"

"I-I don't know, she just- her father," She said unable to speak straight without being interrupted by her tears.

"It supposed to be you! You're supposed to be the one who's laying down there right now!" I heard my father shout, "you- you're having an affair with my daughter!"

Steve looked at her with a mad expression while she focused her attention to me, Steve was about to say something when I beat him to it.

"Please, don't blame her on anything. I confessed first, I did this because I want this. I'm sorry Steve but I never loved you, I-I just don't want to disappoint my father that's why I said yes to this," I stopped catching my breath, "Let her live. Let her be with her family, please, for me." I said as tears start to come out.

"Please," I whispered and he nods, I look at Natasha and smiled weakly, "I love you, always and forever. Meet me in another life, my love." I felt my eyelids starting to feel heavy while they were begging to keep my eyes open, there was screaming, crying, and all.

"Please, don't leave me, I love you!" I heard Natasha until all I heard is nothing but silence.

Few months after, everyone's been moving on with their lives. It's hard for them especially your parents but it's harder for Natasha. You showed her the love she deserves, you loved her for who she is, and didn't leave her side until the end.

When she lost you, she also lost her life. Her motivation to live and not even her family can make her happy anymore. She can't find any color to her life now that you're gone. She barely eats and go out to her room, all she do is to think about you, cry and grieve for you.

Thinking, what her life would be if you're still together and building your dreams for each other. Slowly, she's starting to feel ill and don't want to drink any medicine or to be better. She wants to be with you and if this is the only way, then so fucking be it. ---

"That's the story of them, they both died in the end," The tourist guy said, "You may continue your journey now, thankyou for listening."

"Wow, that was something." The girl said and continue walking around the museum until one painting caught up her attention.

A painting of a woman holding a book. The woman of the guy's story, the woman who looked exactly like her but she's sure that they are not related.

She took a better look at the painting and saw the notebook in the painting has a page indicated to it. Page 28.

After a few strolls, she couldn't take away her mind from the painting. She went to the nearest coffee shop and start to do a research.

'Y/N Y/LN daughter of General Y/LN of the Philippines.'

They even have the same name, she looked for some more and came across an article that says about the love life of the woman in the painting. An image is attached to the article. It was a part of the notebook and it was on page 28.

"I don’t know how it is you are so familiar to me or why it feels less like I am getting to know you and more as though I am remembering who you are. How every smile, every whisper brings me closer to the impossible conclusion that I have known you before, I have loved you before– in another time, a different place– some other existence.”  - Lang Leav

She read it out loud and felt something weird in her heart. The woman started to think that she and the woman in the painting are the same person. She looks back at the article and scrolls down some more and saw a painting of a woman with red hair holding the same notebook and indicates the page 31.

“It feels bittersweet to love you, as though time has already run its ruinous path and everything good is over before it begins. It feels perilous to love you, like a dust scorn swallowing up the sky or a comet skimming the stratosphere. But it is an honour to love you. Like the snow drifts giving way to spring, I will hold you for as long as I can.”

She lean back to her chair and let all the information sinks in. She looks at her watch and didn't even realise she was late for her errands today. She quickly fixes her things and practically ran out of the coffee shop but then she bumped into someone and spill the coffee that is left.

"Holy shit, I'm so sorry. Please, forgive me, I'm really sorry," She begins to apologize, then looked up and she was shocked. It was the same woman at the picture with red hair but now she's blonde.

She shakes out her thoughts and apologize one more time, "I'm sorry, miss. I didn't mean to."

"It's okay, don't worry I have a spare in my car. What's your name pretty lady?" The woman asked making her blush.

"Y/N miss—" She stopped and look at her waiting for the name.

"I'm Scarlett." The woman extend her hand which she gladly accept and shakes it. "Nice to meet you, Scarlett."

"You too, Y/N..." She stopped, her words trailing and looked at Y/N trying to figure out something.

"Do I have dirt on my face?" Y/N asked and touched her face.

Scarlett shakes her head before speaking, "Do I know you? I feel like I met you before."

"We haven't met ever Scarlett like ever." Y/N replied with small never hand gestures making Scarlett giggle.

"What about we get to know each other? Could I ask you to join me for a coffee? Even I know you just had one." Scarlett offered.

"It's okay, I don't want to intrude your me time, Scarlett." Y/N declined.

"Come on, please. It's the least thing you can do for spilling your coffee all over me." Scarlett said with a bright smile.

"Fine." Y/N said with a sigh and playfully rolled her eyes. Fuck errands.

"Let's go!" Scarlett cheerfully said.

The lovers succeed in what they want. They promised that they will meet in another life and they did. In this lifetime, the lovers will start over again. No more secrets. No more expectations from others. Just two of them in each other's arms.

Their love was a burning fire that never extinguished. They said forever till the end and indeed they were forever until death and after it.

Even through all those hardships and obstacles, they were guided by god to each other once again.

[thehorrorsoftheblackbunnymask]

Hiiiii I came Across Your Blog and I rlly rlly Love it,The Way you Write for the Creepypasta Characters is Amazing and I'm obsessed With it.

anyway If you are willing to take requests Can I Request The School Au Creepypasta Boys Like Ben Jeff,and the Proxies w Female Reader who is on The Proxies level (Is really strong And Smart as hell) But isn't Exactly a Proxy and + She's the Most popular and Smartest girl in School.

It's okay if not,You decide Just curious ❣️

Thank you so much!

Ben is using you to the max bro. He'll have you do homework for him and beg you to give him the answers to the up and coming exam. But, he's not going to be as open about his abuse if you're popular. You're popular for your personality, looks, and smarts, while he's popular for his looks and black market dealings. He'll show you off because like, two of the most popular kids in school are dating, you're the IT couple, but boy would the entire school freak out if they find out what Ben did to you at LJ's Halloween party.

Jeff isn't really popular but more so infamous, so being with him is definitely going to kill some of your popularity. Jeff doesn't really care about your popularity, and will constantly call you a dumb bimbo despite him copying your answers more time than he can count.

EJ is pretty much the school's JD when it comes ro reputation, so they'd be mixed opinions. I can see some of the popular girls getting jealous of you because helloooo, you just pulled the school's hot mysterious guy. You absolutely love his smarts and the two of you often talk about biology and help each other study for test. He's such the perfect boyfriend, always buying you gifts, walking you home, throwing you complement after complement. Awww. He'd would never hurt you, right?

Toby loves you bro, you're fucking saving his grade. The two of you were paired up in ELA because the teacher thought you'd be a good influence on him, and also hoped you could help him with his stutter, which wasn't even that bad. You found him a little strange, but you fell for his awkwardness and attitude. He doesn't care about your popularity either, hell, he rarely cares about his own, but your smarts? Broo, he's on his fucking knees for you bro. He didn't really care much about his grades until half way through senior year when he was told he might not be able to graduate if he didn't get them up, and then the moment you came along and got him to actually understand what the hell was going on, he fell hard. He still has his issues and is still an abusive asshole, but I feel like in this situation it's a lot harder to acknowledge it because of his desperation and almost simp like behavior.

Liu wants to ruin you. He wants to absolutely destroy your reputation for his own amusement. Does he love you? Ehhhh, maybe, hopefully, probably... It honestly depends on the day. Liu is capable of love don't get me wrong, but when the two of you first got together, he didn't really love you and saw you more as a game, but he fell for you as your relationship went on. You're popularity really bothers him because not only is he known as Jeff's little brother, but now he's known as the Smart Boy/Girl's boyfriend. But aye, because of you, he gets to skip more classes.

Tim doesn't really care about your popularity. Tim likes to go for losers because they tend to be more desperate and easier to manipulate, but Tim's always been one to enjoy a challenge. Even talking to you was hard because since you have a solid foundation, you often ignore him and reject any and all advances, but through some blackmail after one of LJ'S parties, you agreed to date him. The entire school gets an off vibe about your relationship, but they ain't gonna say anything.

Brian, dear lord. With Tim, getting you was hard, with Brian, easiest thing in the world. If you read my one shot The Proxies Little Pet part 2, I showed Brian as a charming lover boy, and I still stand by that. Brian is a manipulative, deceiving, blackmailing bitch. He's similar to EJ and Liu, all three of them present themselves as pretty nice, chill, caring guys, but the moment you date them, yours trapped. EJ takes a painfully long time to shoe his true colors, Liu is average time, but Brian. The moment you agree, he's done hiding. I can see the two of you hooking up, and afterwards while you were asleep he took a shit ton of picture of you. One day, when you're sick and tired of his abuse, he'll send you all the pictures he took and ask if yall were still over. Safe to say, you didn't stop dating.

LJ is an interesting case where he doesn't use you for your grades, but instead uses you for amusement. He'll actively embarrse you because come on, hes the class clown! Everyone loves him. He's extremely apathetic towards you whenever you cry about it, and he's just a fucking dick.

[toomuchracket]

matty seeing girlie *politely and professionally* cuss someone out in her lawyer mindset and it rlly gets him going

OOH OOH one time vee @abiiors and i talked about you and matty getting called into the school because elena punched a boy in the face because he was bullying her big sister - matty gets there first and has to listen to this obnoxious dad be like "your daughter broke my son's nose (she did not) i want discipline", all the while thinking Just You Wait Until My Wife Gets Here.

he swoons when you rock up in your work clothes and your heels (red lip optional but it would be so cunty i fear), and does his best not to smirk while you sit through listening to this fucking awful excuse for a father complain about how his son is an angel and would never do anything wrong and your daughters are feral and should be expelled with a raised eyebrow and folded arms, because he knows you're about to tear this arsehole a new one. you do, but in a lawyerly way; you literally pull handouts from your bag for everyone like "email transcripts from the past six weeks, detailing the problems your supposed angel of a child has ben causing my eldest daughter, beginning with a note from their class teacher to apologise for the bruising dylan came home with after he deliberately pushed her off a swing set and to inform us he would be duly disciplined in class, and hopefully at home too, as the email had been sent to you and your family as well. the rest of the transcripts are emails from myself to the class and head teachers, explaining that dylan has since been scared to go to school due to further bullying, and asking if something could be done about this rapidly escalating situation. i don't necessarily condone my younger daughter's actions, although i am proud of her for standing up for her sister, but if you had bothered to deal with your child's behaviour before now then she wouldn't have had to resort to violence to stop her older sister being targeted". the headteacher is (rightfully) mortified, the man is IRATE, and matty's not sure he's ever fancied you more in his life. and then he has to rescind that, because the man tries to pull the "oh, i'm sure my son's only acting like that because he fancies her!" card, and you just say "children learn behaviours, though - you implying that your son equates affection with violence also implies someone in the immediate family thinks so, too. in that case, maybe best to get social work involved. i'm sure they'd be very interested to hear that" - he's spluttering out denials (which don't sound too convincing), and you just stand up and say "i think we're done here. we'll speak to elena about her methods of tackling injustice. and i hope your son's bruising isn't too severe - we can testify from dylan's that arnica ointment helps, though. have a good weekend" and grab matty and leave. he keeps it together until you pick up the girls and take them home, and then he distracts them by putting spongebob on before he pulls you into the utility room and just kisses you until you're lightheaded; he pulls away like "i love you i'm in awe of you and you're so hot that if i don't go down on you in the next two minutes i might die. i'm not even kidding like you ended that stupid cunt. ENDED. sexiest fucking thing i've ever seen. please for the love of god let me make you cum" lol. you're like "you've only got eight minutes until the episode ends and the girls start wandering", and matty lifts you onto the counter and says "plenty of time" and yeah he's right he gets you off with time to spare. i do think the girls are maybe sent off on a last minute sleepover at uncle george's that night, though, lmao, so matty can show his appreciation of you a bit more thoroughly in peace. hot <3

[allthingsr-betternotbeingnormal]

Do you have to be such a daft cunt?

Miguel O'Hara x Reader

Word count: 954 words

Warnings: Swearing, growling, reader trying not to attack Miguel

Summary: Hobie shows you Miles being chased and you're pissed, which prompts you to return to HQ to give Miguel a piece of your mind.

Note: This was stuck in my head so I had to let it out. I might expand and make a multi chapter story on how reader met Miguel and the gang. (Might post it on AO3) Reader's hero name is Aqua and was bitten by a radioactive water spider.

Hobie never came to your universe, so to say it caught you by surprise with him standing outside your house was an understatement. It also meant something was wrong.

You felt it in your gut and your instincts were never wrong, so when he showed you a live feed of the chase–sorry more like manhunt–of Miles Morales you felt your blood run cold.

What was O'Hara thinking of going after the kid like that?

You've met Miles a few times–unknowingly to the Society–and you instantly clicked with the kid. He was cool, a bit clumsy, smart as a whip with a wicked sense of humor

Not something O'Hara seemed to have. Weren't all spider people supposed to have a sense of humor?

His must have fallen out his as–Anyway, watching as their 'glorious leader' continue to smash Miles into the train made you see red.

"We're going back to HQ."

"Nuh-uh. That's your bit. I'm a lay back and watch the chaos unfold, Luv."

Both your gaze met, a smile blooming on your face "I have a strong feeling you're up to something Hobie Brown. I hope it's epic."

"I can't be anything else but epic."

The mask covered your face before activating the watch Hobie made for you months ago. Completely undetectable from the Society.

The both of you have had your doubts about a few things concerning the place, hence your own device.

Glancing back at your best friend you sent a two-finger salute and walked forward.

The trip took seconds and you arrived just in time to see O'Hara tell Gwen to go home as the machine grabbed at her limbs.

First Miles, now Gwen. How unhinged was the bastard? Is this how society members are meant to be treated?

You pushed through the crowd of the others, cursing for them to get out of the way as they stood there, doing nothing

Gwen's name left your lips as you mad it to the front and you two made eye contact just as she whispered "We're supposed to be the good guys" before being blasted back to her dimension

A growl built in your chest and you're in front of O'Hara as he turned, slightly off guard at your presence

"Are you out of your fucking mind!?"

The others gasped, Peter B Parker quickly covering Mayday's ears

"Stay out of this Aqua."

He can't be seriously telling you to turn away from what you just witnessed. It was wrong and he and everyone else knew it

"You went too far! What you did to Miles was uncalled for O'Hara!"

The man's eyes turned red, a snarl left his lips showcasing his massive fangs

"Uncalled for? Are you daft? He disrupted a canon event and is on his way to start another. I did what I had to, to try and stop him."

"By what? Chasing him like a criminal! Beating him up! Telling him to just turn a blind eye and accept that he's about to lose his father!? That's cruel, even for you."

"If we don't stop him his universe will collapse. Is that what you want to happen? Huh? His father has to die. There's no changing that."

The others looked on as they fought back and forth. The majority of them exited the room until there was just Peter B Parker with Mayday, Penny, Porker, Jessica, Ben and Margo.

"There is no way you are 100% sure that diverting from canonical events will trigger universal collapse."

"Yes, I can because it happened to me!"

"The multiverse is complex O'Hara and even you with all your genius cannot fathom its capabilities."

O'Hara pushed passed you, growling and ignoring your words

"I don't have time for this. I'm going after Miles. Stay out of my way Aqua."

Your hand caught his wrist, making him pause "Miguel–"

You watch as his shoulders hitch. Not once since you've known him have you ever called him by his first name

"I know you've lost a lot and you feel like you need to shoulder everything on your own but you're taking this too far and you're buckling under the pressure. Don't do something you'll regret."

He wretched his wrist from your grip, putting on his mask as he called out to Jessica and Ben saying they were going after Miles before opening a portal to the teen's dimension.

Jessica and Ben entered and just before Miguel did he turn his head towards you "Don't come after us Aqua. Try and stop me and I can't promise that you won't get hurt."

The collective gasps were just a buzz in the background as blood rushed to your ears "I'll keep that in mind O'Hara. It's a shame. You're letting yourself become a spiderman all of us should fear. I hope you never catch the kid."

With no response the group watched as he disappeared through the portal.

The silence that fell across the room was deafening. Peter was about to say something when you started laughing, holding your side as you doubled over

"Ah–not to be a stickler but what's so funny? Miguel is on his way to rip the kid a new one and you're laughing your kidney off."

It took a while but you calmed down. Looking over at Margo, you smiled "You knew, didn't you?"

"Of course I did. That's why I didn't stop the transport sequence."

"What are you two talking about?" Penny and Porker asked

"The machine sent him to the universe where the spider was supposed to be. Earth-42. Miles Morales is in the wrong dimension."

The panic from everyone–especially Peter–was expected but you weren't concerned about that. The goal now was keeping Miguel as far away from the boy as possible and saving his father. O'Hara was wrong and you were sure of it

"Come on. Let's go save Miles. But first we need to fetch Gwen. Whose in?"

[hearts4golbach]

Light Shower. (Sal Fisher x Fem!Reader.)

part 14

-

"I'm screaming like a kettle on a stove.  you cranked the heat up. I was cold, my past grew mold around my heart."

-

yet again, my parents fought. I played on my gearboy, which was really sal's that he had accidentally forgotten at my house. it was early in the morning, and I'd still be asleep if it weren't for their loud arguments. but the yelling quickly turned into ghosts and echoes of whispers. I rushed to the stairs to eavesdrop on their conversation.

"you know I didn't mean for that to happen, for fucks sake." my dad said roughly.

"well it did and there's no changing that. more importantly, we have to tell Y/n."

my father ran his hands down his face, stretching his skin before sighing. "she's too young, she won't understand.

my mom looked as if she was about to protest, but decided against it. she turned away, mumbling profanities under her breath.

-

the sun had just begun to set. I was on the phone with ash as she gossiped to me about Larry.

"y/n!" she groaned. I could hear rustling on the other side of the phone. "Ben! get out of my room!"

"Hi, ben!" I called through the phone to ashes little brother.

"ben!" I sang. "come back!"

"coming!" he giggled. "hiya, y/n! when are you coming to see me again?"

"Really soon. how about tomorrow?" I offered.

I heard a squeel on the other line. "okay, yay!"

" Okay he finally left." ash groaned. " Anyway, larry has been texting me nonstop since the night at the party! I think he's been flirting too. He called me beautiful!"

"he's so into you. I can tell." I smirked, happy my friends were finally realizing their amazing chemistry.

"Ugh, y/n, don't get my hopes up." she replied, sounding extremely disappointed.

"No, I'm not trying to. this is such a romcom movie scene. I love it." I giggled.

"Shut your face." I could hear the metaphorical eyeroll in her voice.

"I'm not wrong!" I sang once more. my phone buzzed in my hand; I quickly put ash on speaker and opened the notification.

sal: 'I got ur fav snacks'

sal: 'Comes over nd watch movies w me? :)'

me: 'duh, be there in 5 babe'

"Anyway, you should definitely try to find out how Larry feels about me like really." she sighed.

" I'll go see him tomorrow. sal asked me to come over." I giggled.

"go get that dick, girl! and make sure to get me some too."

" I will, oh my God. don't worry. You're pretty little head. Bye ash."

"Bye, y/n/n!" She replied before hanging up the phone.

I picked myself up and changed into something comfortable. As well as grabbing the things I usually did when staying the night at sals. To say I ran next door was an understatement. I knocked on the door and heard sals swift but steps inside the apartment.

"Hi." he greeted, excitement in his tone.

"You know, you didn't have to bribe me to come over with snacks." I grinned as I looked up at him.

"Seemed like my best option," he replied sarcastically.

"Oh, shut up." I rolled my eyes and walked inside.

"Scream?" He offered, going through the bin of cds.

"The first one?"

"Obviously, that's the best one." He said, picking up the case and setting it on the coffee table. the coffee table had a few snacks, some of my favorites, and some of sals.

"How'd you get all of this shit?" I questioned him.

"I was bored and went to help Lisa for fun, I didn't want anything in return but she paid me."

"sal fisher cleaning for fun?" I snorted.

"you were asleep, Larry was asleep, my gearboy needs new batteries, ash was babysitting her brother, Todd and Neil were on a da-"

"okayyy, I get it." I draped a blanket over my legs. dal set a few more DVDs out before starting scream.

he jumped onto the couch next to me, stealing majority of the blanket. "hey!" I giggled as sal nuzzled into me. he adjusted the blanket to cover both of us and grabbed the bag of cool ranch doritos before taking off his prosthetic and munching. "you're in a good mood today." I mentioned.

"I'm glad you came over. that's why." he shook his head to remove the bangs from his eyes.

"Yeah, right. we always see each other. what's so special about today?" he shrugged. "mhm." I rolled my eyes. "You're hiding something."

"nuh uh." sal replied with a sly smirk.

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever."

-

"oh my god, I love billy." I muttered.

"oh em gee! yes girl! skeet Ulrich is so hot!" sal said his his gay ass voice that he loves to do. I'm sure he picked it up from Todd.

"he is! just like you." I wiggled my eyebrows at him.

"that's so cheesy." he squinted his eyes.

"you're cheesy all the time." I whispered, running my fingers through his soft cerulean hair. he hummed.

I sat, leaned against the arm rest, my legs draped to the side. sal sat comfortably behind me, one arm around me and the other on me. the fuzzy blanket, which happened to be the same one from the night my parents fought, was wrapped comfortably around the two of us.

we watched a few more movies, which resulted in losing track of time. I was nearly asleep on the couch when I felt my phone vibrate. I practically jumped out of my skin.

"Jesus fuck." sal muttered, rubbing his eye.

I opened my phone to be greeted by a message from Larry. it was in out group chat, named the 8 Faggoteirs.

lar: 'yo I'm having my bday prty early cuz of school'

lar: 'u guys wanna go 2 lazer tag next wknd?'

eventually, sals phone buzzed too.

me: 'duh'

I quickly glanced at the time. my stomach fell through my ass whenever I realized it was close to midnight. "shit." I mumbled. "sally, I gotta go- I didn't tell my mom I was staying the night or anything."

"fuck, sorry, love." sal said weakly.

"no, it's ok, babe." I slightly smiled, placing a kiss on his lips.

he pulled me back in, gripping my waist tightly. unsure of his footing, he slightly wobbled. I laughed quietly against his lips, keeping them against mine. his lips glided against mine perfectly, my arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer to me. his thumbs rubbed my sides gently as he smiled.

"stop trying to convince to stay." I smile.

"fine." he frowned, which was an extremely forced and sarcastic frown. "I really thought it'd work, though." to say he flipped his frown upside down was an understatement.

"I'll see you in the morning, okay?" I grabbed his hand. sals gaze softened.

"okay, sleep well."

"okay," I mocked. "we can text, you know."

"okay," he repeated, his brows knitted. "I didn't think about that."

"okay, well, I'll text you when I'm out of the shower."

"or ill text you while you're in the shower." sal smirked.

"you're so weird, oh my god." we walked to my apartment. there was a smiling air about us.

"I'll make sure to text you goodnight if I fall asleep before you get out." sal smiled, eyes squinting from behind his prosthetic.

"okay, babe." I grinned. "were such a- what's the word? hm, I guess a cliche movie couple. you know what I mean?"

sal laughed and placed a prosthetic kiss on my forehead. "yeah, goodnight. I love you."

"I love you too, stupid."

I walked inside. the apartment was pitch black. it felt like I was walking into something not all that great.. the dim light of the TV was the only way I could see around. from behind me, heavy breathing got progressively closer to me. a strong hand gripped my shoulder and whipped me around.

"y/n, where were you?!" my dad spat, his breath smelled strongly of alcohol.

"I was at sals." I muttered, annoyed that my father was drunk. he was dangerous when he was drinking. not as much physically, but he could mentally ruin me for weeks on end without realizing it.

"you need to fucking tell me when you're going to be out late with your boyfriend. I can't believe I raised a skank." he mumbled.

"how does staying at my boyfriends apartment a little late make me a skank?" I sassed. he mumbled something inaudible. "what'd you say?"

"y/n, shut the fuck up before I slap the shit out of you."

my face felt hot as I made my escape to my room. I shakily gathered my shit I sleep in and ran to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror with my glossy eyes, fighting back tears. I turned on the shower, making sure it was a scorching hot temperature because honestly, there's no better way to shower. I quickly undressed and stepped in, choosing to sit and sulk in the water. I felt like I didn't deserve sal, maybe I was really just a skank. the water pounded against my back as I listened to the sounds around me- the light across the room occasionally flickering which made a clicking noise, the draining of water from the neighbors house, the way my father was outside banging on the bathroom door-

"y/n! hurry your ass up! don't be in there forever!" he yelled.

"d/n! for fucks sake, leave the poor girl alone!" I heard my mom's groggy voice call from their room.

"I've been in here for like 5 minutes!" I argued, which made him grunt and walk away.

I hurriedly washed my body and hopped out. I grabbed my phone and texted sal.

sal: 'hiiiiii <3' he had sent about 7 minutes ago.

me: 'hey' I texted back with a small smile. 'ur still up, right?'

sal: 'ya wyd' I smiled, sitting down on my bed.

me: 'abt 2 lay down, u?"

sal: 'thinking about u'

me: 'omg sal lol. I'm soooo tired'

sal: 'go 2 bed luv.'

my heart fluttered. it was like I still had a huge crush on sal. I mean, of course I did. yet, I'll never get used to him flirting.

me: 'ily goodnight u get sum sleep 2"

sal: 'ilym.'

[marinerainbow]

Ooh! I have a random fun OC question for you if you want it!

Imagine that Poppy's boyfriends came into her life in a different order. For example Moony was first, then Ben, then Henry was the most recent. How do you think that would change Poppy's character if at all? 🤔

If you don't answer, I hope this gives you something interesting to ponder anyway! ^^

Ohhh this is an interesting thought!! Granted, not all of Poppy's issues were caused by her relationship with Henry, but they did play a part in them. Being with the best guy out of the bunch while at her lowest point? Let's see...

Also, since Poppy met Henry in a bar, I'm gonna say she met Moony in that bar, too. It still fits for their characters at that point in time.

Moony, I imagine around this time, was just starting to work on himself. He had been at it for a bit when he met Poppy in the original timeline, so he was a bit better at himself. Here, though, he's only just picked up self-help books, and Cake isn't around yet to be his emotional support animal. He hadn't at all expected to see Poppy here, and neither did she him. I can imagine she already had a drink or two, so her reaction was a bit slow, but she was still scared of Moony. Moony, having no clue what to say to her and seeing she's scared does discourage him, but he sees she came out here alone and offers to call her a cab or something. His way of apologizing to her without overstaying his welcome. Though Poppy... She's not sure why, maybe it's the alcohol impairing her judgment. Or she's really lonely tonight. But she asks Moony to stay with her instead. Moony, caught off guard but not wanting to leave an intoxicated alone in this part of town, does sit with her. And they talk, and they laugh, and Moony drives her home so she can sleep ^^

Sorry, I wanted to type out that wholesome meeting XD anyways- Poppy is still in her miserable acting business and Moony is just starting to work on himself. So there are probably going to be moments between them. Like maybe Moony accidentally snarls at her even though he's angry at someone else, and Poppy is especially sensitive now and clings onto him in a not so healthy way. But they both genuinely love each other, and Moony does his best to treat her right- which he does. And he makes it clear to her that she didn't do anything wrong when he's mad. This allows Poppy to see him as just being a toon who needs help, so she's right beside him while he's figuring out how to handle himself. They both read the same books- which actually start to help Poppy herself, Poppy is understanding, albeit a bit overbearing with trying to make sure Moony is OK, and they even adopt Cake together ^^

So yeah, although it may not be 100% healthy with their struggle with mental and emotional health, they do still love and care for each other. They're just more delicate at these stages in their lives now. In this timeline, I can see Moony breaking things off with Poppy not because he fell out of love, but because he's too scared of hurting her. Despite Poppy's attempts to keep him around and convince him that she knows he won't hurt her, he still leaves, believing it to be the best for her. Which, honestly, probably left them both even more heartbroken, as they still love and yearn for each other. He does want to still be friends though, so Poppy does at least look forward to that (I'm debating on whether or not she'd try to convince him that they can still be together as friends, both for his sake and because she doesn't want to lose him as a boyfriend. She is more clingy and desperate for love at this point in time, but that also sounds too forceful for her. I'll have to think more on it).

And then Ben comes along and fucks up the progress Poppy was making 🙃 Poppy is of course left sad and heartbroken after Moony made it clear that he won't get back together with her. Then she meets this asshole in the same, if not similar, way she meets him in the OG timeline. She helps him out, but this time decides to give him her number for him to call her (since Moony didn't take all of Poppy's stuff, she has a nice simple house in Uptown. Meaning that she never lived in Downtown, and learned the dangers of offering your number to complete strangers. To put it in short, Poppy is more trusting of people at this point in time). Which he decides to do in the morning once he sobers up. They talk and meet up, and Poppy finds herself falling for this seemingly nice guy.

She feels bad, though. As she doesn't think she's ready to move on from Moony. Though after he encourages her to go ahead and start dating again (before he met this Ben, I assure you), she decided to give it a try. They seem pretty good together, at first. Ben seems to be a pretty decent fellow, despite his drinking, and Poppy wants to give him a chance like she gave Moony the chance he needed. Things seem to be going OK, until Poppy introduces Ben to her friend and ex, Moony. And doesn't hide the fact that they used to date because she's trying to be 100% honest with her partner ^^

Ben, seeing that he's not the first guy Poppy has been with (and feeling pretty insecure with Moony. He's tall, handsome, and has a nice voice), and the fact that now he knows that Poppy still talks with her ex, starts to grow distaste for her now. And Moony could sniff out that Ben wasn't a good egg from their meeting. Though he was more hesitant to bring this up with Poppy, not wanting her to think he's trying to take back what he said about her dating. Though once Poppy started confiding in him about how distant Ben has been and how he seems angry at her, that's when Moony decides he's had enough and goes to talk to Ben. He does have a better grip on his temper now. Though he's still pretty fucking pissed at Ben so he's probably still a bit intimidating while trying to be calm.

This is what spurs Ben to break up with Poppy here. Moony scared him. He had been thinking about doing it anyway, but Moony unintentionally made him go for it. He still tries to turn this around on Poppy, saying how you can't trust anybody who's friends with their ex, and then leaves Poppy confused and wondering what she did wrong. Moony comforts her as best as she can, and resists hunting down that jerk and tearing him a new one, but Poppy still feels guilty that she somehow made Ben think she couldn't be trusted (my god, baby girl, I'm so sorry you did nothing wrong! 😭😭😭).

Ah, now we get to the other bastard. Henry. Thanks to Moony, Poppy has been able to recover better from Ben, and just in general have a better well-being. He even helped her out with completely cutting her parents off ^^ she was hoping to spend some time by herself, so when Henry came along, she wasn't easily swayed. Flattered, yes, but she didn't take him home right away. He was just looking for some company, and as such, didn't pursue her further when she made it clear she wasn't interested in that. So unless Poppy somehow made it clear she was from the nice side of town, and he saw easy exploitation, he wouldn't have gone further with her like the OG timeline. So Poppy shouldn't have to worry about him ^^

... Though maybe Henry could steal her wallet/purse. And since that has all of her valuables, maybe Poppy could try filing a report with the local authorities. Which, perhaps at this time, could be a certain weasel patrol? 👀👀👀

I know you didn't involve her, but I wanted to add Shiny since I've been thinking about this. Bonus if Shiny was the one Poppy met that night at the bar.

Shiny is younger, but she does know by now what she likes. So she did try to woo Poppy similarly to Henry. She could see she had some money on her, so she was hoping to get a one night stand and rob the cute bunny while she was asleep. Though Poppy, although very charmed and flustered, was also denying the feelings this woman was invoking within her (that's another woman?? She don't hate, but she's not gay!... Right?). But again, this was while Poppy was at a very low point in her life and was far too easily won over. So, even though she was certain this wasn't going to lead anywhere, Poppy let Shiny come with her back to her house... Just to spend time together as friends! Nothing more!

Except they did take it to the bedroom... So Shiny didn't have to worry about getting a cab home... And they may or may not have gotten up close... And kissed... Aaaaaand it would have led to more, but Poppy decided she was too tired and snuggled into Shiny. Totally not because she was flustered and confused with herself and wanted to pause everything while she was figuring herself out. And since Poppy was holding onto her, Shiny couldn't slip out of the bed. So she had no choice but to cuddle the soft cutie. Oh what a terrible fate it was for the thief.

In the morning, Poppy apologizes for how she acted the night before while cooking up breakfast for them both (she honestly isn't sure what else to do XD), and Shiny assures her she did nothing wrong. Which she was being genuine about. She understands how overwhelming a sexual awakening can be. But she keeps getting distracted from eying the place for valuables because Poppy... Still wants to talk? First she made her food, and now she's trying to chat? What's next? She's gonna call her 'sweet'???... Oh god, Poppy did. Is she a cinnamon roll or just a kiss up? Shiny tries to deny her growing attachment to this little rabbit and decides to leave without taking anything. Well, except Poppy's number after it was offered... What!? Don't you look at her like that!

Eventually, the two fall in love and start dating ^^ it takes longer though, even though Poppy falls completely head over heels in love. Shiny has her own issues, feeling a bit afraid to get close with someone after losing her mother (I'm still ironing out her story, but I've got a better idea for Shiny's family now). But when she lets go and lets Pops in, she too completely falls deeply in love. Might get a bit too attached/protective of Poppy than her older self would, especially when she sees how much Poppy is going through at her job and her family. And Poppy is also very concerned about Shiny's way of life. But unlike with Moony, I don't see these two gals breaking up anytime soon.

Thank you so much for sending this in! It was very fun to imagine ^^ I hope you enjoy!

[eldritchsurveys]

1161.

Number of Movies/Documentaries I Watched in 2023: 226 Genre I Watched the Most in 2023: I... don't know. horror, probably. Mike showed me what I was doin wrong with using Lboxd so when I take this for 2024 I should hopefully have stuff like genre stats

1. Best Movies I Watched In 2023? >> from each month, one new-to-me favourite and one old favourite that I rewatched: 1. Hagazussa / Velvet Goldmine 2. Honk For Jesus. Save Your Soul. / Twelve Monkeys 3. Nanny / The Fly 4. Sugar & Spice / Dead Ringers 5. Rigor Mortis / Birds of Prey 6. Spider-Man: Across the Spiderverse / Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story 7. You Won't Be Alone / Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey 8. Swiss Army Man / His House 9. In the Earth / The Woman 10. Perfect Blue / Silence 11. Akira / The House That Jack Built 12. Angel Heart (didn't rewatch a fave in December)

2. Movie I Was Excited About & Thought I Was Going To Love More But Didn’t? >> I wasn't exactly excited about Beau is Afraid but I definitely thought I would enjoy it more than I did. the first 20-30 minutes or so were pretty fun and weird but then it just... *longsuffering sigh* I had also hoped The Blackening would be a bit funnier than it turned out to be. still watchable and I'd still like more Black horror-comedies, but I definitely wanted more guffaws out of it. I'm not even gonna bother talkin about Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania... (at least Kang was good) OH! Renfield! THAT'S the one I was excited for and heavily disappointed by. I knew there was one (also, Last Voyage of the Demeter. not at all my favourite year for Dracula movies, that's for sure)

3. Most Surprising (in a good way) Movie I Watched in 2023? >> I was surprised by both Akira and Perfect Blue because I just assumed they would be a bit inscrutable to me (when a lot of "buffs" speak highly about a work I assume it's some shit I won't understand), but they really drew me in. also surprised by Host (2020) which I'd assumed would be watchable but not really anything to write home about considering the gimmick. but they pulled that one off pretty well!

4. Movie I “Pushed” The Most People To Watch (And They Did) In 2023? .

5. Best Sequel of 2023? Best Ending of a Movie I Watched in 2023? >> Across the Spider-Verse and as for ending I'm just gonna agree with prev "can't beat a dancing naked man" (Saltburn) because that was pretty good

6. Most Action Packed/Thrilling Movies of the Year? >> the John Wick quadrilogy

7. Movie I Watched in 2023 That I Am Most Likely To Re-Watch in 2024? >> In the Earth, The Lodge, maybe Noroi? I might rewatch I Saw the Devil because for some reason I forgot a lot of that one despite enjoying it

8. Favorite Poster for a Movie I Watched in 2023? .

9. Most Memorable Characters/Talent of 2023? >> oof... can I just say Ben Wheatley (director) for talent because he really sucker-punched me with the two movies of his that I watched this year

10. Standout Writing / Directing of a Movie I Watched in 2023? >> obviously that goes to whoever wrote Call Girl Of Cthulhu

11. Most Thought-Provoking/Impactful Movies I Watched in 2023? >> The Vast of Night, Silence, Titane, Perfect Blue, Akira, Aniara. also 2001: A Space Odyssey except the thought it provoked was "why am I still fucking watching this" and the impact it had was "I'm annoyed to the point of anger and I have a splitting headache"

12. Movie I Can’t Believe I Waited Until 2023 To Finally Watch? >> Die Hard lmao. it was way more entertaining than I expected. also how did I go my whole life without ever learning that Alan Rickman was the bad guy in that also Battle Royale and ofc Akira

13. Favorite Scene From a Movie I Watched in 2023? >> oh man this is impossible, give me a break

14. Movie That Shocked Me The Most? (Because of a plot twist, character death, etc.) >> I didn't expect Swiss Army Man to be quite what it was (this is not a complaint, I loved it, but the whole farting business definitely threw me for a loop lol) honestly my bar for shock is seeing Oldboy for the first time last year having never had it spoiled for me and losing my whole ass MIND at the plot twist. nothing has come close to that since

15. OTP (One True Pairing) – You will go down with this ship? >> those two girls from Do Revenge

16. Favorite Non-Romantic Relationship? >> the vampire family in Near Dark

17. Best Movie I Watched In 2023 That I Watched Based SOLELY On A Recommendation From Somebody? >> Noroi: The Curse but also The Adjustment Bureau was an incredibly solid and cute flick (both Sparrow's recs)

18. Most Exciting Worldbuilding/Most Vivid Setting? >> ooo let's see... well, I did rewatch The Neverending Story this year :p Rigor Mortis had a really memorable setting for me but I wouldn't call it exciting OR vivid. like, it was just an apartment building lol. it was just... I don't know. I can't explain it. it sticks in ya El Hoyo (The Platform), maybe? definitely an intriguing setup and setting there. A Field in England was literally just a goddamn field in England but man.... I also like the new worldbuilding ideas Hellraiser (2022) brings to the table.

19. Movies That Put A Smile On My Face/Were The Most Fun To Watch? >> Puss in Boots: The Last Wish, The Ref, Cocaine Bear, Sugar & Spice, Airheads, Polite Society, Totally Killer, Do Revenge, D&D: Honor Among Thieves, Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey, Earth Girls are Easy, both Sister Acts, Call Girl of Cthulhu, Idle Hands, Van Helsing, and Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. yeah there were a lot of these this year

20. Movie/Documentary That Made Me Cry Or Nearly Cry in 2023? >> Swiss Army Man and Akira, but also Velvet Goldmine, Do the Right Thing, Crooklyn, and Sister Act 2.

21. Hidden Gem Of The Year? >> not sure how to determine this

22. Movie That Crushed My Soul? >> [insert another snarky comment about 2001]

23. Most Unique Movie I Watched In 2023? >> so many of the movies I've seen this year were incredibly unique to me! let me see if I can find one I haven't already mentioned... ah yes, of course. how could I forget Mad God 💀

24. Movie That Made You The Most Mad (doesn’t necessarily mean you didn’t like it)? >> I will refrain from mentioning That Movie again (although that is the true answer lol) and instead I'll go with... Lake Mungo bc I thought that was gonna be way more interesting than it was just based upon the fact that the tumblr girlies used to be all over that shit back in the day

25. Notable Mentions of the Year? >> some more movies I really liked that didn't get a chance to get mentioned yet: The Banshees of Inisherin, Baskın, On the Count of Three, Hell House LLC, Ringu, and Mad Max 2.

Bonus: Favorite Movie Moment?

Bonus: Five Movies I Am Anticipating in 2024? >> Furiosa, the Joker sequel, apparently there's a new Alien flick coming out? Dune Part 1 was Fine, I guess, so I might as well see Part 2 🤷🏿‍♂️ meh

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Finally for once in my life I haven't missed the openings.

So, for my request, could I ask for Tim, Jeff and Toby with a teen!reader(we need more of Teen!readers honestly) who's a paranormal enthusiastic kid who somehow ended up dragging them to their adventures, detail, the reader is completely oblivious to their killer lives and just thinks they're some depressed millennials.

(and maybe I'd be cool if the reader also recorded stuff all the time like Jay used to do in MH, but that one's optional) :)

That's it! Hope you have a great day/evening/night!

As I haven't even seen MH and I'm not all that familiar with it, I left that detail out. Hope you enjoy it! Have a good time zone!

(Also.. Hilariously.. I love this grouping.. Because it would be two millennials being Tim and Jeff (25/24), and then two Gen Z being Toby (22) and Y/N. What a mashup.)

Firstly... We have to get the emotions out of the way. In my canon, Tim started out as a teen that did paranormal investigations (with Brian, of course), which is how he ended up discovering and fusing with the spirit of Masky, which in turn forever changed and fucked up his life. So, needless to say, Tim especially is incredibly protective of you and emotional over the entire experience.

Toby and Jeff, really, are just along for the ride, but they're just as protective over you as Tim is. The three of them accompany you to every single investigation, and they tell you to never go without them. Things always go according to plan with them by your side, so they're a lot less worried about you having an experience as Tim did. They know the right precautions to take, and actually DO tell you that Tim used to do paranormal investigations too, which makes you all the more eager to follow their lead and take their advice when it comes to things like this because wow!! You have experienced guys helping you investigate all of these sites!! And then Toby who brings snacks and hilarious commentary, and Jeff who's just incredibly strong and entertaining. What could go wrong?

Well, thanks to them, nothing! Most of the weaker actual spirits they encounter are too scared to do anything because they can recognize that the boys are employees of Slender, and they don't want to piss off Slender. When it comes to the stronger spirits and places that you want to investigate, they call in BEN, and sometimes even Slender himself, to handle things behind the scenes and make sure that none of the spirits end up harming or possessing you, and you're none the wiser to what's going on in the background because you don't even know that BEN and Slender exist, so to you, it's just an experience like any other with the boys by your side. They do really look after you and make sure that you're enjoying yourself and enjoying the experiences, and maybe someday when you're older they'll tell you about themselves and the truth about Tim and the added help from BEN and Slender, but for now, they're just fine letting your imagination run wild.

[alwaysdjarin]

Hey how are you? How was your day today?

I just want to say that I love your fics about Triple Frontier!

And I wanna ask for a hug or maybe if you could tell me...

....Today was my last day of work before vacation, I worked my ass hard today, and I'm feeling kind of sleepy, tired, anxious and I don't know, I want to cry (got no idea why). And I kind want some company right now ����.

What the Tripple Frontier Boys (except Tom I don't like him, sorry), would do when I came home from work today?

What they would do, say...? Could you do a little headcannon about which man?

Thank you for listening to me, I wish you all the good things!

Hey Rach ❤️

I want to give you a BIG hug. I hope you feel better today and as you wished, I have a little headcanon for you.

Hope you like it. 😘🫶🏼

Enjoy.

Santi:

Santi hears you moan, when you shut the front door behind you.

He takes your purse from you and hangs your jacket on the hook.

He puts his hands on your cheeks and looks at you with concern. „Hard day princesa?“

When you nod tired, he leads you to the living room and places you on the couch.

He pours you a glass of wine, turns on your favorite music and while he massages the stress and tension from your shoulders you can tell him how your day was.

When you feel a little bit better, he tenderly kisses your neck.

„Let Daddy give you some relief, princesa. And later we'll plan some trips for your vacation.“

Frankie:

Frankie is working on his truck in the garage, when you arrive at home.

He can already tell from the sound of your voice that something is wrong as you rush past him into the house.

Of course he follows you directly and finds you lying on the couch.

He squats next to you and strokes your head.

„Querida, what can I do for you?“

You cuddle and Frankie fulfills all your wishes.

After cooking your favorite meal, he prepares you a hot bath.

When you come into the bedroom afterwards, he's already laying in your bed.

„Come over querida, I have something special for you.“

Will:

Will's coming home at the same time as you. He was having a stressful day himself.

When he hugs you and you snuggle up to him for longer than usual, he knows what's going on straight away.

He puts his hand on your chin and lifts it slightly to look into your eyes.

„Seems like we both had a shitty day babe.“

He gives you a kiss that almost makes you forget the stress.

You cook a delicious dinner together and Will can't keep his hands off you.

You disappear into the bedroom and give each other a massage while telling each other what happened at work.

Four orgasms later, Will gives you his prettiest smile while caressing your cheek.

„Now I always have this to think about when I have a busy day at work."

Benny:

Benjamin „fucking“ Miller is lying on the couch when you arrive at home.

He snores and the house is a mess.

You shake him awake.

„BEN!“

He's awake immediately.

"Oh...fuck...honey. I wasn't expecting you at this time."

"It's fucking 5pm! I've had an absolutely shitty day and you haven't done anything at home, just sleeping?"

He scratches his head and looks at you with puppy eyes.

"I-I'm sorry hun. Come and sit down, I'll order us something to eat and tidy up in the meantime."

You can't be mad at him for long anyway and let you fall onto the couch with a sigh.

You watch your favorite movie while you eat pizza and before the movie is over, Benny cuddles up to you.

"Since we already know the end of the movie..." His hand wanders under your shirt as he kisses your neck. "…let me make up for my laziness from earlier."

[ultraintrovertedgryffindor]

Trauma Nightmares - Ben Miller (Escape Room)

I believe I will be at least one of the first people to make an x reader for this character, which is like, unacceptable. Ben is a cinnamon roll and deserves more love. Get👏🏻with👏🏻the👏🏻program👏🏻sheeple

! ! ! Spoilers for the Escape Room movies ! ! !

~~~~~~~~~~

(my gif)

You awoke to the sound of whimpering.

At first, your thoughts immediately went to your dog, maybe he needed to go out? But as you gained more consciousness, you realized it wasn't your dog at all.

You looked over to see your boyfriend's sleeping form in the dark, but you quickly noticed that something was wrong.

You quickly turned on your bedside lamp, illuminating Ben's face to show you his face contorted in a fearful expression, his eyes shut tightly and his fists clenching. He was whimpering and whispering words that only sounded muffled to you.

He was having another nightmare.

As soon as you saw tears streaming down his face, you gently shook him. "Ben." You said as softly as possible, caressing his face. He woke with a jolt, grabbing you by your shoulders tightly, wildly looking around the room in a panic. "Hey, it's okay. It's okay."

Ben was still tense, but his panicked look calmed when his eyes finally landed on your concerned face. He slowly released the vice grip he had on your shoulders. The tension finally being released made you want to wince, but you stayed quiet because you knew he'd feel awful about hurting you, even unintentionally.

Ben frantically ran his fingers through his tangled hair, exhaling a loud shuddering breath.

You took hold of his hand, bringing it up to place a kiss on his knuckles. "It was just a dream."

Ben frowned, "Yeah..."

It was more than just a dream. It was a memory that was even more fucked up being replicated by his subconscious every time he closed his eyes. There were nights where it wasn't so bad, but it was almost always the same...

Ben was in a large room, every inch decorated in a way that would make you think you were in a rich person's mansion. The walls covered with ornate looking wallpaper, the burning fireplace giving the gold patterns a reflective shine. It felt cramped, fancy furniture filling the room that emitted an old, sweet musk that permeated his nostrils. It might've been a cool place to hang out in, if only he wasn't trying to fight for his life.

The walls were closing in as Ben's mental timer counted down, only seconds away from getting crushed to death along with all the expensive looking and fragile furniture, pieces of splintering wood getting lodged in his skin and shards of glass from the chandelier quickly slicing flesh and making him bleed a bright red.

Ben thought he had gotten all the clues, he could've sworn the code for the door was correct. But the walls didn't stop pushing further and further in. The doors wouldn't open. There was no escape. He could never escape...

But he did. He did escape that wretched Minos building and he was here with you, the sweet scent of your freshly washed hair relaxed him more than you could ever know. Just you sitting with him was enough most of the time, he appreciated you so much.

Ben allowed his eyes to close when he felt your soft skin against his, gently running your thumb across his knuckles. Sometimes he wondered if you were an actual angel sent down to help him overcome his PTSD, it felt like it in moments like these.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You voiced softly.

Ben slightly shook his head. "It's the same as always. There would be no point."

You noticed the sweat stains on his shirt and came up with an idea. "How about I run you a hot bath?"

Ben looked at you. "Why?"

You offered a small smile. "It'll help soothe you." And without another word, you pushed your duvet off and stood on the cool carpet, walking to the joint bathroom without waiting for an answer from Ben.

You turned the valve almost all the way to the left, got water soon flowing out of the faucet and quickly filling up the tub. You stepped back into the room to see Ben blankly staring off into space, most likely thinking about his dream over and over again like he usually does.

You didn't understand what he was going through, because you were never in that type of situation. You were never trapped in those escape rooms, and you hoped you never would. The way Ben described it to you, you wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy. You wished you knew exactly what he needed, but alas, you weren't a psychologist and you felt helpless when it came to his nightmares/flashbacks. But you did research soothing techniques for people with PTSD, and it helped some.

Whenever Ben had a horrible nightmare and couldn't escape his own head, he'd allow you to take the lead and you'd try your best to help calm his mind. And tonight, it was a hot bath.

You lead Ben into the bathroom like a toddler, gently undressing him and slowly easing him down to sit in the tub. You smiled softly when you heard him let out a sigh, the hot water feeling like heaven against his skin. But he didn't have to say anything to let you know he wanted you to sit with him, his big green puppy dog eyes were practically begging you.

You quickly undressed, not as gracefully as you undressed Ben, but you soon placed yourself to sit behind him. You wrapped your arms around his torso, and he instinctually relaxed against you, your warm skin proving to be more soothing than the hot water that engulfed the two of you.

You soon entangled your fingers in Ben's long, blonde locks, gently working out the knots from his bedhead and massaging his scalp. You smiled softly when you heard him let out a whiny sigh, feeling the muscles in his back finally untensing in your embrace.

"I hate these fuckin' goddamn nightmares..." Ben voiced.

"I know." You frowned, giving a soft kiss to his shoulder. "I know...I wish I could do more to help you."

Ben turned his head to look at you. "Hey..." He brought his hand up to caress your cheek. "Just being here, with me, is more than enough. I honestly don't think I'd be able to keep my sanity if it weren't for you."

You gently shook your head. "You're strong, Ben. You would be okay."

Ben frowned, turning his head back to stare forward. "I'm not as strong as you think I am."

"You are strong. I wouldn't even survive the stress of a situation like that."

"You'd never know until you were in that place. That was the whole point of that goddamn murder maze. Seeing what someone is capable of when their life is on the line." He huffed, tensing once again at the thought of being back at Minos.

You hugged him tighter, laying your head on his shoulder. "You won't have to deal with that evil place ever again, okay? You're safe now."

Ben chuckled bitterly. "Zoey wants me to fly to Manhattan with her, to try and take down Minos. I don't the universe has much safety in store for me any time soon."

"Ben, I thought we talked about this. You don't have to feel obligated to go with Zoey when you want to move on. It's not your fault if she's still stuck there."

"She saved my life. I owe her everything."

You sighed, you knew you couldn't talk him out of it. Now, life debts, you could understand well enough. Zoey was a sweet girl, a bit intense, but for a good reason. If Ben was going to help her take down Minos, you wanted to help too.

"I'm going with you."

Ben's eyes widened, quickly shaking his head, turning around in the tub to face you. "No. No, you can't. It's too dangerous. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to you."

"And I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something bad happened to you. If you're going, I'm going too, and you can't talk me out of it."

"Y/n..."

"I love you, Ben. And I'll be damned if I don't do anything I can to help you." You finally snapped.

Ben blushed, his lip trembling slightly as tears built up his in eyes once again. "I don't want you to go through what I had to. Minos is run by psychopaths and they'll do anything to people for money. I just want you to be safe, at any cost...I've never felt that way about someone before..."

You smiled softly, leaning towards him and placing your hands on his cheeks before fully connecting your lips with his. "As long as we're together," You started once you pulled away, "I believe we'll be okay."

Ben finally nodded, enveloping you in a tight hug and releasing a shaky sigh. "I hope so..."

~~~~~~~~~~

Ben is my boy, he is very precious so me😊

[wingsofhcpe]

SNOWPIERCER S3 EP5 THOUGHTS: TICK TICK ....BOOM

*inhuman screeching*

The entire episode really sold it to me that Zarah was going to kick the bucket and I'm a little disappointed it didn't happen. I have not gotten over my dislike for her but at this point, dislike or no dislike, I just felt it would be the best narrative option. Even if it was a character I liked I would have hoped it would happen because it was just set up very well and idk. It just felt wrong that she and the baby both survived.

Till and LJ rivalry is what I live for, and Os just awkwardly standing there while his sister and his wife duke it out.

PIKE YOU FUCKING IDIOT. I. UGH. IM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW.

I can't believe this show gave us PikeRuth, sold it to us so well, and then did... whatever the hell this was.

Also idk if that's just bad writing or if I'm missing something, but their first interactions were actually so nice and genuine and now both seem as that didn't mean anything and I'm like??? Bruh???

Ben and Josie....ugh. I love them both I just don't think they have chemistry as a ship...

Also, fine, maybe I just want Melanie back.

Sykes teaming up with Javi and supporting him through shared trauma is actually a pretty neat detail, their interactions were short but I really appreciated the vibe.

Ben 🤝 Audrey: stage 100 of depression.

Audrey looked sexy today and frankly the show is starting to get me sold on her and Till as a thing.

I feel bad for Wilford, which is a sentence I didn't think I'd ever say. Plus we gotta love Alex's snark, she and Dr. Pelton CARRIED this episode idgaf.

Speaking of, Dr. Pelton is a gem and I hope we get to see more of her.

Also not to be that person but her and madame Headwood.... Sapphic vibes is all I'm saying.

Btw mrs. Headwood my poor little meow meow tying the laces on her dead husband's shoes in the end... I love how they barely had any screentime, one of them is gone, but you can just see how much in love they were and how much they cherished each other.

Tristan in the intercomm scene: who are you and what have you done to Ruth.

Btw I know the ship sunk before it even sailed (at least seems so by what we've gotten today) but pls consider Pike and Ruth adopting Winnie. Pls. The crumbs we got in this episode... Please tell me Pike won't get himself killed and he'll actually see he's being a bit unreasonable about this.

I mean yeah sure he's got a point (and as a fellow Ruth simp I just gotta say he's got The Point that Ruth should lead the train) but like...maybe setting fire everywhere isn't the best way to go about it??? Just saying???

Jumping from one point to the next here but Ben missing Melanie and vocalising his emotions on her death broke me.

Also wait I've a question, did Ruth lie to Layton when she said that "Ben mentioned a fire"? Or was the dude that Layton met undertrain another Ben? It's a common name so I wouldn't be surprised if it was just...another Ben, but my mum thinks Ruth just lied to Layton. Which is honestly what I hope is the case, because if we had to see all of Ruth's awesome character arc JUST for her to return to hospitality and stay there, even as a better person, staying in the same position she was in s1e1, I'm going to be angry™.

Anyway all I'm saying is I want Ruth to rebel against Layton just... without setting the train on fucking fire (Pike, cmon, really? That's not how you persuade your gf to join your cause). Like if anyone can make this work without blowing everything to pieces (PIKE) it's her.

Whoop-tee-do until next week I guess!

EDIT: HOW COULD I FORGET UNCLE TILL!!!!! MY BEAUTIFUL GNC BUTCH GF!!!! I'M IN LOVE!!!!

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

Scars That Heal || Eddie Kaspbrak x Reader Series

• Ch. 11: Under Pressure •

TRIGGER WARNINGS: blatant homophobia from Nicklesmart The Beatboxing Jester™️ in disguise as someone you know, internalized homophobia throughout the whole chapter. As usual, will put a skip marker for the heavier scene before and after if you need/want to skip. It is not light, ngl 😔 [trigger words: f*iry + the f slur, each used on exactly one occasion, and (as an insult) queer. I'm so sorry, this was not easy for me either and please do not read this if any of this in any way bothers you, i won't be mad if you skip the chapter 💕]

A/N: Next chapter will be all fluff I promise 🥲, I'm so sorry, but I needed something that could solidify Richie and Y/n's friendship for good, and her helping him through his worst fear is the best way to do that and will be explored in other ways throughout the rest of the series, specifically in the sequel. all that aside, I missed you guys and this series so much!!

LGBTQ+ RESOURCES AND SELF HELP LINKS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE CHAPTER

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

- 𝗔𝗨𝗚𝗨𝗦𝗧 -

    Richie keeps his eyes trained on the dried mud on his navy blue slip-ons as he makes his way across town, his mind buzzing twice as fast as it normally did. He felt as if his entire body had been put through a blender; his skull still vibrating in his head turning his brain into jelly. His stomach empty and lurching as it twisted into knots far more impossible than what you'd see from a circus performer and his heartbeat could rival a hummingbird's. Not to mention he was walking with two extra legs he'd grow from time to time, another freaky affect the physical and mental toll these past few weeks had put on him and his eyesight. The caffeine he had been living on hadn't helped him one bit either he reckoned.

    Insomnia had become his best friend in the past few weeks, hence this last-minute trip to the old gravel pit just behind Derry Town dump. At least, this was the lie he told himself to pluck up enough courage to call Y/n up. Richie hoped she could talk him through it, give him some advice. He was never this nervous to talk to her and deep down in a corner he wished to bury forever - that small part of himself that begged to be free - knew exactly why. This small, repressed Richie Tozier that lived locked away in the center of his heart was calling the shots that day. Hell, he probably had been his whole life but he wasn't ready to admit that to himself yet, let alone his true attentions of seeking her help.

    All he knew is he was nervous as all hell, his palms were sweating, he couldn't stop fiddling with his glasses and he was sure one wrong move and he'd shit his pants. For fucks sake, he needed to shake this! He had already freaked Y/n out, that he knew. He could still hear her voice over the receiver. It was soaked in static and every 's', or 'c' sound she made felt like a pencil was being shoved into his eardrums cause of her shitty outdated telephone.

    "You," she had asked with a pause. "want to meet at... the dump?"

    "Yeah," he scoffed, scratching the same spot behind his ear for what had to be the billionth time out of nervous habit. "you got wax in your ears, L/n?"

    "Nope. Just, a little confused is all. You seem kinda... I don't know, squirrely," she said wearily, and through a sharp crackling hiss from the receiver he can make out a nervous chuckle on her end. "You sure nothin' jumped up your ass or anything?"

    He bit his lip. Hard. As if punishing himself for drawing her suspicions this early. What if she somehow caught on to what he was gonna talk to her about? Her walk to the gravel pit would surely give her enough time to get to that conclusion, and Richie wasn't daft. He knew he wasn't exactly subtle about... "insomnia". What with how many times he teased insomnia, called it that special nickname he knew it hated but secretly loved. That forbidden flutter in his chest when insomnia would laugh at his jokes, and the small but precious moments they shared from time to time when the others were late that would stay in his heart and mind for weeks to come. But it didn't matter now, as everyone knew; insomnia kept Y/n's company now.

    Thankfully his mouth was faster than his brain, and it fired a rapid response before a lull could form.

    "You bet your fur," he fires, his lanky arm had rested awkwardly against the wall beside the wall mount. "I am right as rain, toots."

    He of course hadn't seen it, but she had frowned at her phone. Her concern was growing with every word spoken from him.

    "Yeah," she snorts, throwing back a sarcastic remark. "Cause you sound it."

    She had eased a bit, growing soft and falling back into their usual banter. Their special dynamic always seemed to coax down his guard a bit.

    "You're talking like a 1950's gangster in a speakeasy," She straightened a little and had begun pacing as much as the phone cord would allow her. "Ya know... More than usual."

    Y/n smiled when she could practically hear the smirk taking over his face, and she certainly had no trouble picturing his hunched shoulders and intimidating snarl he was most likely dawning.

    "It's a little somethin' called moxie, kid," he spoke with curled his words, imitating all the gangsters he had seen in those cheesy old films. "somethin' you just don't have,"

    Y/n had rolled her eyes again, at least Richie could see her doing so when he heard her respond. "Right, right. My bad Baby Face."

    "Hey!" He barked, snapping his fingers and pointing at the floor as if she could see him. His voice lowered in a thick Chicago accent. "That's mista Baby Face to ya."

    "Mista Baby Face Nelson!" She strained, her annoyed shout tainted with a laugh. "Are we meeting at five or not?"

    Richie released a quick and silent breath, expelling as many nerves as possible.

    "You bet your fur."

    The exchange kept playing over and over in his mind and Richie wondered if the same rang true for Y/n. He hoped not, cause that would mean she was thinking about it too much. Hell, he was thinking about it too much now. A heavy sigh rolls off of his chest as every anxiety collectively manifests into its own dark thought.

    Fuck, he really had it bad.

    How pathetic he was.

    Eddie would surely be horrified to know what Richie really thought of him, that was for sure.

    And as if he hadn't felt crazy enough, the thoughts actually began to feel like voices calling him from the darkest shadows of his mind.

    'And the other Losers? You'll be lucky if they even look at you again.'

    Richie was surprised to find himself fighting back, pushing back as much as he could. Despite all the jokes and jabs, he couldn't be completely alone. A small part whispered in his heart that he wasn't, and he thought briefly of the turtle strangely enough but it was gone just as soon as it had come. All he knew was that whatever was telling him this thing was stubborn. But so was Richie Tozier.

    He treated it as an intrusive thought. Made a decision then and there that it was, never occurring to him what it could be if wasn't.

    No way. Not those assholes, he tells the voice. These are the Losers for fucks sake!

    The more he thought about it the more he was sure of it. God forbid Eddie did find out, which Richie had no intention of, and what would happen was in fact unclear. But no matter how he looked at it, he just couldn't picture the little spaghetti man ever cutting him out of his life completely. Not by choice at least.

    Now Ben, that lovable sappy haystack of his that was too passionate for his own good. Richie may not be the silent type but he does pick up on things, and Hanscom's affections for Beverly Marsh were far from subtle. Always opening doors for her and turning redder than a tomato when she smiled at him. Not to mention Richie was about ninety percent sure there was a poem of some sort involved. And that was just Beverly, Ben was always thinking of the Losers. Now Richie knew for sure that boy had no hateful bone in his body to the point it was fucking annoying.

    Mike, Richie felt, might be a little similar. The kid had a lot of heart, always going on about the animals on his farm. Would even go as far to say he considered them his friends, what with how much Richie knew about Mooriuel the calf and he hadn't even met her for cripes sake! Richie imagined he'd be a bit more shocked but would try some sappy speech when he came around. Would make a whole big thing of it, pat him on the back, and even invite a conversation. He scoffed at the thought, the image of Mike slapping him on the back and his signature grin... Yeah, he appreciated the hypothetical gesture but it wasn't Richie's style.

    He could easily see Big Bill sputtering up a storm, but managing a smile. He'd probably even manage to forget their differences long enough to say something stupid but supportive. And Beverly and Stan were the ones he worried about the least. Stan would probably be too indifferent to care, throw him some snarky ass comment like, "took ya long enough, dipshit," and Beverly? Well, Beverly had always been cool, very laid back. She never took shit, and she never dished it out if she didn't think it was deserved which Richie admired greatly. This was one of many reasons he was so shocked she had taken Bill's side in the fight.

    The thought brings him back down again, and as soon as the memory touches him so do the nerves in his jaw tensing up again where he had been hit. He could feel the punch all over again. And he suddenly remembers why he is here.

    He is here, he realized.

    Just around the bend, coming into view was the gravel pit. Old and crumbling it was, and overrun with weeds and bushes. One could easily scale in and out of it, and at the very bottom Rich had discovered one day was a beaten and tattered leather seat from a car that found its way from the junkyard just a ways over. This was where he told Y/n to meet him.

    Y/n...

    Jesus fuck, what would Y/n say? How would he tell her? Would she still wanna be friends with him? Would she laugh and crack a joke, not taking it seriously? Would she hate him for it? More importantly, why in the ever-loving fuck was he here and willing to tell her?

    His gangly legs tumble into a sprint as he picks up momentum descending the uneven terrain. The rubber soles of his shoes kicking up the layers of dirt and shaved gravel that lay beneath the rocks and he had to put effort into not crashing as he comes to a stop. He manages to avoid a nasty fall, completely ignorant to the fact that his right foot had been only inches away from a root peeking out from the rocks surely would have broken his neck had he made even one wrong move. He puffs out his chest, dusting himself off, and once again tries to dispel the nausea broiling in his stomach like hot tar.

    He closes his eyes tiredly as he drags his feet to the leather bench, letting his backside fall through the air and into the somewhat plush cushion with a deep groan. "Fuck."

    His fingers rub his tired eyes, his fingertips finding bits of crust he hadn't gotten earlier and his knuckles brush his glasses further up onto his forehead. Not quite knowing what to do with the overwhelming thoughts and emotions clouding him, his fingers dig further into his eye sockets until all he can see are inky splotches behind his eyes.

    Richie doesn't know why he would ever think those things of Y/n. He hadn't ever told her this, not directly at least, but she was just about the only person in the world he trusted most. He knew in his heart of hearts this was why he found himself dialing her number before he could even register what he was doing. Even after their separation and the bitter feelings they took with it, the Losers were and always would be his best friends in the world.

    So why did everything about this feel so wrong?

    From the moment the phone call ended, he felt like he was waltzing into a trap like some putz...

    "Well, look who it is..." snarled a voice from up above the surface.

    Richie's blood ran cold and it felt as if the remainder of the air in his lungs had been squeezed out like air in a deflating balloon. He whipped around at the voice, his head twisting up at the silhouetted figure so fast he was shocked he hadn't broken his own neck. The figure held their hands on their hips, thousands of the sun's rays spilling around them as they blocked out a part of the sun, an advantage they reaped from where they stood before Richie at just the right angle. His breath caught in his throat as he had recognized the voice immediately, but the figure didn't quite match the voice.

    The last thing person he needed to see right now was Henry fucking Bowers, that was for sure.

    The universe agreed so it would seem. The figure shifted, just out of the light revealing the teasing smirk of his best friend Y/n. Her hands snapped together, her palms forming a handgun, the barrel aiming right at Richie's forehead.

    "The jig is up," she snarled. "We knows it was you. You was the ones to steal from Big Bill's dame, and I wouldn't be surprised if yous was in cahoots, neithers."

    Despite the fear that had clutched his heart only seconds ago, a small chortle left Richie at how awful her accent was. Hadn't she learned anything from him? A smug smile overtook Y/n's face as he broke. She holstered her handguns and gracefully descended the pile of gravel. His smile expired not long after, and despite the thin veil of clouds creeping over the sun the light in the sky was much too hard to even glance at his friend without blinking back several painful searing tears from the harsh light. But he could still make her out.

    She was dressed in her usual ratty and eclectic garb; a mix of something far too big for her frame and something that seemed far too tight to be comfortable. Richie was certain she had never once owned even a thread of clothing that had always been hers. Her s/c brow had its usual, light glossy sheen of grease that Richie had learned very early on to not ask about. But there was something about her now, something he couldn't quite place.

    Though one question kept popping up in his mind. One that left an itch in his brain he couldn't quite scratch in his dazed state. And that was how could he have possibly thought she sounded like Henry Bowers?

    He finds himself looking down at the gravel now, wiping away as much of the sun's damage pooling in his eyes as he can. Unbeknownst to him, she watches him studiously, the ghost of her smile still on her lips as if she was enjoying his discomfort. His long and gangly limbs are folded awkwardly, still, onto the leather seat that sits on the ground. Finally, she takes a seat beside him with a huff as he had.

    As he rubs his tired eyes for a second time she takes a long look around, breaking the silence when her trip around the gravel pit lands on him.

    "Well, you've looked better." She quips, offering a smile.

    Richie snorts, pushing his slipping glasses up the bridge of his nose with a friendly smirk. "This comin' from Raggedy Ann?"

    They both breathe a small laugh and for a moment - just one beautiful, fleeting moment - Richie forgets he was ever scared. This is what he needed.

    "So," she says, pulling his gaze towards her, sending him a cocky smile as a knowing look sparkles behind her eyes. "I'm guessing there's a reason I'm here, and not helping you with your summer training?"

    Richie, for reasons unknown to him, feels his muscles tense up again involuntarily. Like a puppeteer suddenly yanking the strings, ripping his shoulders up to his ears and his muscles bracing. He felt rigid and he was, but he was doing all he could not to show it. All his unease came back in steady waves marching up the sand, but what could he do now? He could already feel her eyes burning holes into the side of his head as he kicked around a sizeable rock with the toe of his shoe, studying him. Waiting.

    Finally, his shoulders slumped in a shrug, lower lip in an indifferent pout as he looked around at the sky hanging above the gravel pit.

    "Just needed a change from all those ugly mugs, I guess," he manages a laugh, and he rises to his feet to lazily chase the rock that had rolled out of his reach.

    He can feel her eyes on him still, and he doesn't know what to make of it until finally she breaks her silence with a chuckle and rises to join him. She catches the rock with the heel of her dirtied sneakers. They're worn down to the very last thread and several shades off from the original color. She kicks the rock back to him, and they engage in a lazy game of rock soccer.

    "I can understand that," she says calmly, eyes trained on the rock as it tumbles across the gravel with several chunky clanks. "Reckon it'll be good for you, too,"

    He frowns confused without looking up at her, winding one lanky leg back before one big kick. "Whad'ya mean?"

    "Well, you don't wanna spend your whole summer inside of an arcade, do you?"

    Richie's face freezes in a frown, the rest of his body going rigid. His eyes cement on the rock underneath his shoe, willing away the veil of tears that threatened to fall. Had he not been so caught up on why he was here, Richie might have had a clear enough head to realize Y/n wasn't there for that conversation, nor had she heard about it from anyone there. Instead, all Rich can think about is the small hypochondriac boy that had stolen his heart.

    He can hear the conversation he had with his best friend, all those weeks ago when school let out. And if felt like a lifetime since he had seen that squishable, pouty little disgusted frown Eddie always put on that made Richie's inside melt. As if reading his mind, Y/n spoke.

    "This is about Eddie, isn't it?"

    Her tone is gentle but veiled. Something was concealed about the way she held herself, ever since she had arrived, something that Richie couldn't quite place. And there it was. He was right about her suspecting him, he must be. Richie battles the lump forming in his throat, and he can feel his ears turning pink under her unwavering and unblinking stare.

    Richie does all he can to fight a snarky response, not knowing how else to navigate and survive the intensity of his feelings. All he manages to do is nod.

[■■■■■■■■■■■■]

    "Rich, it's okay," she says, taking a step forward, his gaze is pulled to her eyes. And here it is, he thinks. The moment he had been dreading, the moment he hadn't even allowed himself to think about. "...I miss him, too."

    His face caught in another frown. That's definitely not what he expected her to say. Quickly as he could, he wiped away a spot of snot at his nose. He had managed to keep the tears at bay but now they had found another way out. He felt like a fucking fool, and he wanted nothing more than for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. Of course she didn't know what he was talking about. Why would she - how would she? His spirits were crushed, and he suddenly didn't feel like getting into it now. She seemed off today, not that Richie cared. All he wanted was for this whole day to be over with, not even knowing the worst had yet to come.

    She studies his reaction, almost as if she had been waiting for this and she blinks for what Richie is now starting to realize must be the first time since she got here. Y/n's face screws into a frown, and yet there still lingered an uneasy smile that taunted him. Her eyes squint suspiciously at Richie, her head tilting in an expression he never knew he had always feared would come.

    She laughs finally, a shrill and grating laugh he hadn't quite heard before and she nudges him playfully. "Oh, come on! It's not like you've got some faggy crush on him or something?"

    When he doesn't answer, she scoffs, turning away and shaking her head in disbelief for a moment.

    Richie felt he just might vomit. Or cry. Or both. He had never felt so distraught, so dejected. So broken.

    How could she be saying these things?

    He tries with all his might to conjure a response, any fucking thing at all so he wasn't some blubbering broken chump breaking down in front of her. But for the first time in his life, Richie "loudmouth" Tozier was speechless.

    That fuck-awful grating laugh returns, a sour look screws up her face as she looks him up and down in disgust.

    "Wait, seriously?" She gapes with a scoff, making him feel about two inches tall. "You actually think he'd want to be with some fairy freak like you?"

    "F-f-uck off," he sputters, though he does not feel better.

    The trembling in his voice, the vulnerability, hearing it in himself strips any remaining scrap of confidence he had left. He's crying now and there's no hiding it. And she heard it in his voice, he knew that now as he looks at her. Her lips curl into a malicious smile and she takes another step closer, Richie fumbles a step back.

    "He isn't some," her nose crinkles as she continues to advance on him, the fire in her eyes building as he stumbles back to escape her sudden venom. "rotten queer like you."

    Y/n spits the words out like they were poison on her tongue, and this was true in every way. Her fiery stare never left Richie, it burned holes right through him as she advanced on him like a wolf on a wounded doe. They were nearing the edge of the gravel pit, and Richie had nearly run out of room when her finger stabbed his chest like a sword's final strike to the heart, pushing him to the ground as she spoke those poisonous words.

    Richie felt his backside meet several jagged rocks that brought even more tears to his eyes, though none of them hurt as much as her words. She towered over him now, the sun beating down on her back and pouring over her shoulders, trapping Richie in her shadow. She shakes her head, and he can still make out the pathetic look on her face as she glowers at him.

    "It's girls he likes. It's me he likes." she points to herself, shaking her head. "He was mine the second he saw me, but you?"

    She scoffs again, and her shadow releases him as she kneels to balance on her feet, legs folded before him with a snide look.

    "You've always been the insufferable loudmouth he couldn't get rid of." A sharp laugh escapes her, the clutch on his heart tightening to dangerous amounts he fears it will give out. "Well, I guess he doesn't have to worry about that now, huh?"

    His heart feels as if it has been ripped to shreds, the claws of the wolf had struck and now he was drowning in his own sorrows as pain as the heartbreak filled his lungs. Richie could no longer see behind the thick wall of glassy tears that blanketed his eyes, and the sounds of his own sobs amplified his embarrassment and despair. He was hopelessly broken, and he could feel himself crumble, each piece disappearing amongst the gravel underneath him until he couldn't be found. He blinked only once, but it was enough to send every tear racing down his cheek at once.

    Another malicious smile contorts her face, her e/c eyes burning darker until they looked almost a completely different shade. Her lips seemed to stretch on and on and on in a way only one thing could. And it was then that it occurred to him.

    Not one thing she had said to him is something he could have ever prepared himself for, each word constricting his heart and lungs and swelling his throat with the ever-growing lump.

    Nor was any of it something she would ever dream of saying, he knew this now.

[■■■■■■■■■■■■]

    This wasn't Y/n, this was never Y/n. She had never showed, and if he hadn't been so wrapped up in his own fucking head he would have caught on from the second "Y/n" arrived. Especially that entrance, Y/n surely would have fallen on her ass on her way down into the gravel pit never mind the fact her accent wouldn't be nearly as shit.

    But none of this mattered now. This thing that looked like his friend had him cornered, and It knew it.

    A wicked grin overtook the mask of Y/n's face that chilled Richie to his bones, and yet it also reassured him. Y/n was tough and could be scary from time to time, but he knew she could never be capable of the pure evil that now danced in It's eyes. Richie's body was already in motion, his arms and legs scrambling for any sort of grip that could take him up the side of the pit and to safety. But the gravel beneath him was always shifting, rolling out from underneath him when it wasn't raking his palms to pieces and all he was accomplishing was a small plume of dust that clung to his backside.

    Richie didn't know where it came from, but his actions were faster than his feelings as his fist collided with It's nose. And no sooner did the heel of his shoe collide in a painful crack that sent It's head back, did his eyes widen in horrific shock. The painful crack that would surely haunt him for many nights to come, had not been from the collision of his heel on It's nose but It's head - or Y/n's as this was still It's disguise - had snapped completely back and dangled completely off It's/her shoulders.

    The only thing connecting her head to her shoulders was the suit of s/c skin. Protruding from the center of her neck just under the skin was the end of her spine where it had disconnected, giving away a disturbing lack of muscles and veins in her neck as if it had been hollowed out like a pumpkin. Her head rolled back and forth limply, and Richie could feel bile climbing up his throat, ready to burst out his digested mac and cheese.

    His mind was screaming at his legs to run while all was still but a small part of him knew this was all a gambit, that it didn't matter if she was frozen stiff or not. Richie knew as soon as he booked it, It would spring to life with something even more twisted. That now, without his friends, he was as good as dead.

    And It was more than happy to prove Richie right.

    The clone of his friend sprang to life, It's head still rolling around on It's shoulders. Connected only by the skin of It's neck, and moving around like some fucked up slinky toy. Richie was already halfway up the gravel pit, bits of rock and dirt finding their way into his shoes as he kicked up the earth though that was the farthest thing from his mind.

    By the time Richie reached the top of the pit, he could no longer hear the thunderous boom of his heart attempting to break loose from his chest, which was saying an awful lot. His screams echoed out into the air only to be swallowed by the screams of other children and Richie didn't know how he knew this but he knew those were the screams of Betty Ripsom, Ed Corcoran... Georgie Denbrough. The bloodied screams of It's victims were drowning Richie as he ran for the junkyard, and he wondered if he might live to hear them stop.

    The screams were so fucking loud in his ears he could see them. Each of them a blinding, deafening, gut-wrenching, and blood-curdling scream that danced through the air like ribbons as they begged for their lives. Richie cried out and he couldn't even hear his own voice, but he didn't let this stop his legs from pumping as hard as they possibly could. He was nearly to the junkyard, surely he could use something to fend It off but he knew he was just buying time.

    He could taste the blood on his tongue from where his teeth bit into his cheek. In all his short life, Richie Tozier would not have guessed child-eating clown to be the way he'd kick the can. When ever the thought of death began troubling him, he always liked to picture something like a western. Him and his rightful enemy squaring off against good and evil, he'd shoot first and save the day but still sustain an injury and bleed out. But it'd be a hero's death. And that was something.

   But this... this was something born out of darker than evil and Richie was about to be pulled into the gravity well of this black hole and swallowed up. And he knew in his soul, the very pits of his stomach it would reach out with its shadowy arms and pull him into darkness.

    And it did.

    Richie had been rapidly approaching the edge of the junkyard without realizing and within an instant found himself on the ground, caved in on himself as he tumbled in the dirt and rocks accepting he was to join them soon enough. He closed his eyes and waited for death as a hand curled around his shoulder and pulled him around. Another jolt of shock shot through his entire body at the sudden contact, locking his jaw and paralyzing his entire body in fear as he was met with the new threat. He didn't dare open his eyes, and certainly not when he heard his best friend's voice again.

    "Richie! Richie?"

    It was her again, he realized. Y/n's real voice, the one that he heard on the telephone that was dripped in static. The one now dripped in fear.

   "Richie?!"

    When the boy opened his eyes, they were filled with terror and his sobs continued. A lense Y/n never thought she'd see Richie look at her through. Her heart broke in an instant when she realized he was afraid... of her. Instantly, she released him and let her backside fall back into the gravel. She watched through a thick wall of tears as he trembled, crying to himself, and never in all her life had she seen Richie Tozier so broken.

    It tore her apart.

    She didn't have to be a genius to realize what had happened here. Before she had even reached the junkyard on her bike she had heard his screams strangled through the wall of trees gating the area. When she had reached the gravel yard, she was happy to see him still in one piece but he was running for his life from an invisible force. The damn coward had gotten what It wanted and scared him shitless, but why would he disappear just because she showed? She had wondered.

    Now she was beginning to understand. It didn't need to be here to scare her. Just the sight of Richie in such a state was enough to tear her down and it took just about everything in her not to scream into the sky from a mix of fury and fear.

    Besides the tears that race down her cheeks and wet her legs, all Y/n could feel was a painfully numbing fear. Fear that Richie would never be the same. Fear that Richie would never speak to her again. Fear that Richie would never trust her again. Fear for whatever the fucking hell that thing did to Richie. Fear that It would do it again.

    All she felt now was fear for Richie.

    Y/n doesn't bother to fight the sob that breaks loose, her bottom lip quivers violently and her arms fall to the gravely pavement beneath her. As if her head had filled with lead, it grew heavy enough to fall into her chest where her chin landed, shaking several more tears loose.

    "I'm s-so sorry, Richie,"

    Y/n yearns to say more, but her body is physically weak from sadness and shame. Yet still, she repeats it in her mind hoping with everything in her it slips out of her mouth, or maybe if she thought them loud enough he'd hear them in his mind.

    I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm sorry for whatever happened. I'm so goddamn sorry...

    "I'm sorry," she whimpers. "I promise..."

    I promise I'm not gonna hurt you. I promise I'm not gonna hate you. I promise I'm gonna be there for you, from now on. I promise.

    Her sniffles blend with his own, and Richie is unsure why this is the moment he knows for sure this is the real Y/n before him; maybe he was just too exhausted to think it through, perhaps it was the godawful sound she was making trying to keep herself from snotting as bad as he was but he knew It had gone. And the Y/n sitting beside him — crying with him, was the one he dialed up today. This was the Y/n he had been prepared to bare his soul to. His true self.

    So with one shaky hand — the other still tucked in close to his chest — Richie's left hand slid out from under him and across the gravel to Y/n's open palm. Her fingers were digging into the gravel, sharp edges of the rock digging into her skin as if to assure herself she was really real. Suddenly, she felt Richie's shaky palm slide underneath hers, carefully taking it.

    Y/n picked her glassy stare up from the ground to look at their intertwined hands, and she melted a little. Several of those fears — not all of them, but some — were ebbed away and she looked to Richie. He was still curled up in the dirt, his eyes closed and silent tears streaking his dirt-covered face. Each tear paved a path of clean skin, washing the dirt away in wild streaks where ever each tear had fallen. Several large and swollen beads of tears collected at his chin where they dangled, threatening to fall.

    She gave his hand a squeeze, letting him know she was there for him as she had promised him. And she was ready to sit with him for as long as he needed.

    For hours that feel only like minutes, they sit together in tear-filled silence, clinging to one another's presence and the knowledge that they are now all they have left.

    And there was no way they were letting go.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Here are some LGBTQ+ resources for mental health and self help if you feel you need them:

How do I find LGBTQ friendly therapy?

An article on safe ways to find the best sources of help that are right for you

The Trevor Project

Self Care Tips for Trans and Non Binary Folks

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[ef-1]

dearest dr. katherine,

fridays are our days. maybe friday’s will be our “always” (but only when inspiration spikes within me, can’t have too much of a good thing)

the vanon tag is gr8, this is your roof. you dictate the roles, i just come in, cause chaos and cha cha slide out to watch the effects of *me*

let’s get down to business, three things:

- i’ve been having a thought that needs to be planted, so i’m planting it here. i saw a post that was like “if someone is being too much, you should distract them with a question like: would you like some sand?” and i think that’s fucking genius, i would add “and do a shoulder shimmy while you exit the scene, walking backwards” we no longer need to touch grass, we need to be offered sand.

-re: green; stunning color. but if you wouldn’t mind, can you provide the full flavor profile of celery? i haven’t had it in a hot second and my memory of it is confusing at best

- pistachio ice cream for your green study, unless you’re lactose intolerant or have a pistachio allergy but also . . . yolo? (this is coming from someone who had ben and jerry’s netflix and chill (peanut butter based ice cream) with a 58% certainty that they had a peanut and almond allergy, so proceed with caution)

ungracefully moonwalking (think dragging your foot back and taking a dramatic stop to point your toes and repeat. but this goes on for a really long time because i underestimated how long the distance would be) out of your anonymous box,

me :)

Vanon! I've missed you, picture us having this meeting (a date which I am, TO MY SHAME, late to) in a green cafe sipping a warm beverage of your choice

Alas, I hope the winter (or summer, I won't be presumptuous about the hemisphere you roam) is treating you well.

Re: I don't know if I have a pallate refined enough to deliver an accurate flavour profile of anything besides coffee. However, funny you should ask this, you've wrung my withers. Good celery, which is to say organic celery, is supposed to be saltier (an unpleasant addition to a breakfast green juice unfortunately for those of us organically minded). The sweeter a celery stick the less good stuff (minerals) it has and is probs commercially farmed. I'd always thought it was something to do with the pH of dirt. I was wrong. I still sometimes bite into something and whisper good dirt if it tastes good. You came for a flavour profile but I leave you empty handed and burdened with a useless factoid about organic celery 💚

I've only encountered pistachio ice cream once, I was v curious but ultimately did not opt for it bc it seemed #a lot. It wasn't really pistachio flavour, rather intimidatingly labelled "Crème à la pistache" which is to my understanding: pistachio paste? Not today. Fear not though, green ice creams do not go unrepresented in this house, where ever there is matcha ice cream, then matcha ice cream is what I'm getting.

I wish to meet your wit with more of vigour next time but for now I am #exhausted and have chosen to bask in the residual charisma you left in my inbox.

I will practice believing that I will not be tardy to another rendezvous,

Apologetically,

K8 the Gr8