#which like .... i think sheds light on how trusting and loving and how kind he is ...

[yumeka-sxf]

I've been waiting to see Yor's epiphany chapter in the anime and it did not disappoint! I felt like analyzing more than usual because I loved this episode so much~ 💖

I hope that any anime-only viewers who at this point still had the opinion that Yor's just ditzy/submissive, one-dimensional, or whatever negative traits associated with her, have changed their minds. Throughout the cruise arc we've seen so many sides of her character: how she's struggling to understand the exact reason why she's taking on these dangerous assignments when her original reason for doing it (supporting Yuri) no longer exists, how her internal desire to seek her own happiness - live a peaceful life like Olka - is at constant war with her diligence to complete her mission, her yearning to be with Loid and Anya and how sad she looks when she has to tell herself that they're just a cover-up family and she'll have to leave them without a word if anything drastic happens, and how much more confident she is when doing something she excels at - assassinating - yet still retaining her kind and polite demeanor (Unlike Twilight, who dons the mask of Loid Forger, Yor Forger is not a mask for Thorn Princess, at least not in terms of personality. So everything she says as Thorn Princess can be interpreted as her true feelings, including the now two times she's hesitated during fights because of the thought of having to leave the Forgers).

And, in the moment where she's facing death right in the eye, all the doubts she's had since getting this assignment culminate, not only causing the samurai assassin to get the upper hand, but causing her to take a deep, introspective look into her reason for fighting...if it's not for the same reason as the other assassins, what is it?

What's even more amazing is that these things about her character did not come out of nowhere just for the sake of a flashy climax. We saw in previous episodes that not only does she understands that being in the Forger family makes her happy, but most importantly, how she's lived her life only thinking of the happiness of others above her own. And what's most tragic is that, upon finally realizing that her original reason for being an assassin is gone (since Yuri no longer needs support) she's ready to die then and there...until she remembers Olka's words about wanting to live a peaceful life, which in turn makes her remember her core reason for becoming an assassin was to not only support Yuri, but to make the world he lives in all the more peaceful by eliminating the villains in it.

Despite how naive Yor is about many things (due to her upbringing), she's certainly not ignorant about the needless tragedies that exist in the world. And here is where she makes her decision to keep doing her assassinating, not because she enjoys killing people, but because the result of it will make the world a better place...because now, she has even more people whose happiness she desires to protect.

Even if she sacrifice her own happiness by leaving the Forgers, that's not as important to her as preventing tragedy from befalling her loved ones, or the world in general. And these thoughts are so similar to Twilight's reasons for becoming a spy! Coincidently, as Yor has these thoughts, she thinks of how Loid complimented this aspect of her personality way back when they first met...and the thought that the man who she trusts and respects so much would approve of her decision, gives her the final push to keep on going (I love that they reanimated this scene too and didn't just use the exact frames from episode 2).

So yeah, if anyone who wasn't sure of how much depth Yor's character has, I hope this episode shed a lot of light! This is the right way to make a character both cute/sweet but also a total badass who's strong on the outside as well as the inside.

(I will probably reword a lot of this for my upcoming Twiyor analysis posts but I couldn't wait until then, lol).

[stayconnecteed]

hiii beloved 🫶🏻 how about 💓 with hyunjin? i would pass away fr, ik you're gonna make me lose my mind

　　　　　‎‎‎‎‎( 𝒉𝒉𝒋. ) 𝖺 𝗍𝗋𝖺𝗂𝗅 𝗈𝖿 𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌𝖾𝗌 𝖺𝗅𝗈𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍𝗇𝖾𝗋'𝗌 𝗃𝖺𝗐𝗅𝗂𝗇𝖾 𝗈𝗋 𝖼𝗈𝗅𝗅𝖺𝗋𝖻𝗈𝗇𝖾.

━━━━━　　　　𝒂bout.

hihii my pretty deni!! i really really hope you like this because i'm full invested in the cruel prince universe and i couldn't think of another scenario. i love this type of narrative, i love fantasy and i love fae hyune. i'm super nervous about how this is going to reach the readers, so please please be kind 🤍

Hyunjin slides his vicious gaze over your skin, and a nymph behind you sighs. You squirm uncomfortably, barefoot on the smooth tiles leading to the throne room, expecting Seungmin to appear at any moment and drag you away. After all, the fae prince has taken a fancy to you, and while your best friend's mistake may translate into a night of inebriation and blurred dreams, for the moment everything that has happened has been quite real... and all too intoxicating.

You can taste the violence of the room even before the doors open before you, the floor covered in dry leaves and dirt, but nothing prepares you for the sight of a feeric feast at its peak.

The fairies intertwine their accelerated dances under the vault of tangled roots in the ceiling, slipping between the sweaty, half-naked bodies of others, flooding the room in a mélange of frosty velvety gowns and warm silk dresses, their long sleeves swirling around them. It is the aristocracy of the magical world, entwining crusts in their corsets and their sweet wine-soaked tongues in stolen kisses. There are giants devouring the delicacies prepared and displayed on the wide wooden tables that are no taller than the pale Doric columns that support the ceiling, and unruly nixes chasing each other among the crystal chandeliers that shed their light upon all the guests.

The thunderous rhythm of the nimble violins ceases at Hyunjin's presence, and you cower behind him as everyone turns to you. Looks of curiosity and disbelief turn into dark disdain as the guests notice how round your ears are at the tip, and you have to make an effort not to run away.

‘Don't scream,’ you whisper, and you don't see the way Hyunjin's lips tingle beneath an disguised smile. ‘Don't scream,’ you repeat, pleading, because if you start, you don't think you can stop.

The room is still deathly silent as the prince raises his hand, stretching his long fingers out in front of you, filled with silvery, intricate rings, and his ink-black pupils urge you to take it. You do not hesitate, knowing that magical beings take rejection as the worst offence, and you accept. His validation, his hospitality, his skin beneath yours. Your breath catches, the overwhelming scent of ripe fruit cloying your senses, his delicate fingertips caressing the palm of your hand, his nose brushing the back like the flutter of a shy butterfly.

You understand, the beating of your heart a roar comparable to that which devoted violinists tear from their strings once they continue to play, intertwined notes that sound too wrong and too right at the same time, that his intention is to dance with you. And you shudder, because you know you risk never ceasing.

More than once you have heard, from whispered comments and hasty warnings, that you should never trust a fairy. Their delectable delicacies make you lose your mind, their sweet words have the power to make you dance until you faint. They will convince you of the impossible, twisting the truth until you are unable to discern what is real and what is not. Hyunjin has not uttered a sound since he found you in the forest and swore he would never hurt you, and if you followed him it was because telling him no would have saddened him.

The prince did not have a face destined for sadness, though the tears sliding down his cheeks would have brought out his beauty.

You followed him and believed him, because fairies cannot lie, because deep down you wanted to, even if you knew you should not. And now you take his hand, disobeying Seungmin and everything he once taught you, resting your fingers on his palm, his thumb brushing your knuckles, and let him lead you to the centre of the room. He barely greets those fairies who try to steal his attention, his eyes fixed on you, and your chest warms with the pride of a swollen ego.

You may have been the centre of someone's attention before, but it doesn't matter anymore. It doesn't compare to the tingle that shivers across your skin when Hyunjin looks into your eyes. The blush that adorns your cheeks when he smiles at you, the sleeve of his dark suit coat brushing against your arm, the toxicity in his voice when he calls your name. The way your knees almost give way under your weight when his soft hand finds its place in the folds of your dress, which certainly seems too coy, its fabric doing nothing to conceal the way his palm digs its electrifying heat into your body.

It's addictive and absurd, the horrible satisfaction of being the only one the prince has allowed to be close, the only one who has accepted by his side, the only one who can slip your arms around his firm shoulders, feeling him shudder beside you. Knowing that you hold in your hands what so many want, for love and for war, for his blood and his power, and that it was him who chose you. Being mortal, being a faded petal next to the eternal beauty of the ones that surround you, knowing that so many hate you in that instant. It's dangerous, but you bask in the adrenaline that melts in your stomach.

Hyunjin presses you against his chest, leading the dance, and you let yourself go. You never bothered to listen when your mother insisted on teaching you to dance - after all, you were convinced you'd never need to, and you're not about to start learning now. It takes you a few moments to understand the order of the prince's steps, and then you simply follow them, as if it were as easy as breathing. You wonder if that ease, the way your head is clear and your feet light, is what it feels like to be enchanted.

But Hyunjin calls your name, and the thoughts vanish like dust in the air. You lift your chin, losing yourself in the depths of his dark almond-shaped eyes, and curve your lips in reverence. When the prince spoke, everyone fell silent. Seungmin had told you so. Your lips seal, and his heartbeat flutters beneath the palm of your hand, planted on his chest. You listen, you smile. You can afford to pretend to be one of them for the night.

“I want you to have an unforgettable night,” he pronounces, his voice chanting the sentence as the command that lies beneath every syllable, accustomed to living among servants.

“Yes, my prince,” you reply, your throat quivering, your gaze serene.

You are malleable in his presence, turning to clay under his touch. And he seems willing to stain his hands. His eyelashes stutter as you stand on your tiptoes, you see the way his Adam's apple quivers as he feels your breath collide against his parted lips, and before anyone can react, you kiss him.

It's brief, fleeting, barely a brush of your mouth on his. You don't have time to process the softness of his pillowy lips, or the way they linger on yours as you pull away. You open your eyes, and your breath catches as you see him smiling lazily, blushing up to his ears, as if he finds it amusing that you dared to make such a risky move, but irremediably wants more.

And that same breath you exhale against his lips as he returns his mouth to yours, burning, yearning, digging his fingers into your skin. He presses your body to his until you fit together like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, and you slide your hands up his shoulders, to the back of his neck, threading them through the strands of his silky hair. You sigh, frowning in delight as he parts your lips with his wet tongue, and your head spins, drunk on him.

You stand in the middle of the room, losing yourself in each other as the fairies dance around you, but you can only focus on Hyunjin, Hyunjin, Hyunjin... You can't help but tug at his hair as you feel him breathing heavily against your skin, sliding his mouth down your jaw to your throat, leaving open, slow, sensual kisses, following the quickening rhythm of your heart to your collarbone. Your mind is clouded by his lips, and you gasp as he bites your shoulder.

Seungmin once warned you to wear his berry amulet around your neck at all times, some kind of twisted repellent. You can remember the tenderness blushing his face as he spoke each word, the worry shining in his brown eyes, in case something happened to you and he wasn't there to protect you. But you've forgotten why. You only see the prince, his warm breath on your skin, his hands clinging into you, and the juice of the blackberries sliding down his sharp chin as he bites into your necklace.

You know someone had once said something, but it doesn't matter anymore. Only Hyunjin, his toxic lips, and the sweet berry liquor you lick from his mouth until you can only taste him.

ㅤㅤ© stayconnecteed 2024 ★ do not copy, translate, repost or share this work as yours on other platforms ! consider leaving a comment or reblogging.

[tragedybunny]

hiya! for the Very Secret Santa =) would love anything fluffy and sweet with just Astarion or Astarion/Tav enjoying a starry night outside. Thank you in advance!

Hope you enjoy this gift! Very special thank you to @satanicspinosaurus for the lovely beta work.

All the Wonders Of the Night - Astarion x GN!Tav

It was the middle of the night, and you were trekking outside of Baldur’s Gate like someone who either didn’t know or didn’t care about the possible dangers outside the walls. Being outside those walls was an important part of your plans though 

You’d spent the night in Rivington, and now you left the last road, and plodded south through the open fields. 

“Where in the hells are you dragging me,” your companion fussed behind you, causing you to smile. Astarion had made strides in the last couple of weeks, but he was still somewhat the irritable vampire you had met on the beach that day. It also seemed that he wasn’t exactly fond of surprises, but this would be worth it, and he must have trusted in that to agree to come with. 

“Not too much further my Love,” you called back behind you, as you navigated your way forward.

“You’re lucky I adore you,” he returned, sounding a bit more chipper. Perhaps he was aware he had come off a little hostile a moment ago. You tried not to correct or police him too much, but there were times it was hurtful and you couldn’t help but say something. 

“I offered to carry the pack,” you remind him teasingly. 

“And let you claim you did all the work?” You must have slowed a bit because he’d closed the distance to wrap his arms around you. “You’d like that wouldn’t you,” he asked, nuzzling into your neck. 

“I could never think to steal your glory.” You answer, grasping his hand to pull him along beside you. 

A few more minutes and you’ve reached your destination, a moderate hill rising out of the grassy plain surrounding it. It’s not much elevation, but it is higher than where you stand. “Up we go,” you say brightly and hear a sigh beside you, which may or may not be sincere. 

The top of the hill offers a calm view, the Chionthar, a dark ribbon on the horizon, and Baldur’s Gate, a collection of lights. Around you, a sea of grass ripples in the gentle night breeze. Not a single stray cloud disrupts the gleaming sky above. A night as perfect as you could ever ask for. 

“This is it,” you announce brightly. 

Astarion looks around skeptically and begins to shed the pack he was carrying. “I’m going to trust you on this one, darling.” 

Taking the pack from him, you kiss his cheek softly, pretending not to notice how he still flushes at small, affectionate gestures. “You won't be disappointed.” 

The heavens are moving though and you'll have to make haste to be ready in time. The supplies in the pack really just amount to a couple bed rolls, some extra blankets, a bottle of wine, and a bit of food for yourself. You’re not so worried about Astarion getting hungry as you’re used to finding yourself the snack when he’s peckish. Quickly, you arrange everything into a comfortable little spot to lay back and look at the sky. 

“Make yourself comfortable,” you say, inviting him to join you as you settle onto the bedrolls, wrapping a blanket over your legs. 

“If you insist,” he says with a grin that you know means mischief. 

In a moment, Astarion is sprawled across your blankets, head in your lap. “You’re like an ill-behaved cat,” you chide and run your hands through his curls. 

“You wouldn’t want me any other way.” A kiss is blown your way, and you just sigh, because you know he’s right. Instead, you fumble your way around him to open up the bottle of wine, without moving him from your lap. “Not to be impatient darling, but I am a little curious why we’re out here.”

You let the first sip of wine wash over your tongue before you answer. It’s white, sweet, melodic, and fruity - the kind of wine Astarion claims to hate. The truth, you know, is that he can’t taste the same as he did before his current state of being. Even the darkest, deepest reds taste cheap to him. You give him every happiness that’s at your disposal, maybe in time you’ll be able to give this too. But for now, tonight will have to do. 

 Taking a glance at the heavens, you gauge the time. “You’ll see soon en-'' Your words are cut off by the first falling star, streaking across the sky. Apparently you were off by a few minutes in your calculations. 

“Oh…” Had you managed to render Astarion speechless? Even with your slight error in timing, his crimson eyes are locked on the sky in enchantment. 

The first falling star was accompanied by another soon after and you poured Astarion a glass of wine even if he’d fuss about the taste. He took it without complaint, head still nestled in your lap, as even more bursts of light filled the night sky above you. 

The rain of stars began to rhythmically fall from the heavens, a dazzling display of lights. The two of you were uncharacteristically silent, attention rapt to the phenomena above you. You let your hand continue to run through Astarion’s hair, every once in a while caressing an ear or skimming your fingers along his forehead. In response, he snatched your hand, alternating between gentle kisses and playful nibbles each time. 

When the pace slowed a bit Astarion finally shifted, pulling you down so that you were lying next to him for a proper cuddle. “So,” you asked nervously, wondering what he’d made of the surprise. 

“That was quite lovely my sweet. And you went to all the work to drag me out here to see it.” He nuzzled against your cheek, leaving soft kisses. 

“Does that mean you enjoyed it?” Face buried in his curls, you inhaled. 

“I..,” his voice catches a little, “I did. You can’t see much of these things from the places I was spending my nights in and obviously Cazador wasn’t going to let us wander off to go star gazing.” You give him a light squeeze, a quiet acknowledgement of that small piece of everything he endured, not even the autonomy to look up at the stars. “But I do have to ask why you decided on this particular outing?”

“You see, it is beautiful, but it’s something beautiful you can only see at night. The night holds a lot of wonders that one can’t experience in the day, you included.” 

“Oh, stop,” his voice trembles.

“I brought you out here to show you, the night is vibrant, alive, and full of wonderful, beautiful things. And I’ll have no regrets about living my life in it, if I get to share it with you. I know you’ve been worried about that.”

Astarion sniffles and buries his face in your neck. “I suppose this means there’s no changing your mind.” 

Your arms tighten around him, holding him close. “You’re stuck with me. I love you, and I want this life with you more than anything.”

Above you, stray stars still fall as you kiss Astarion softly. Relaxing into your touch, you feel his hand on your waist, gripping as though he never wants to see this moment end. But tonight is just the first of many to come, nights as numerous as the stars still standing firm in the heavens.  

@micropoe10 @writingmysanity

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@mxxny-lupin @azu21 @tallymonster @dependsonthedream

@sunfire-ancunin  @bambamwolf87 

@fayeriess @lumienyx @lisrelly

@elora-the-slutty-songstress

@bhaalbaaby

[erinwantstowrite]

hi!! first off i just want to say i love LOF and i think it really stands out in this niche genre of “spiderman in gotham”, its my absolute favourite fic rn and im loving the long chapters and dynamics between characters :)

for my question, i wanted to know if you ever considered writing any portions of peters past. specifically when he was “Parker”, an informant for the avengers. it sounds like a really interesting story and i’d love to know more about it, no pressure tho ^^

thank you so much!! I do plan on writing more about it. I honestly want to do a prequel,,,

I have some of it written actually. It was called It's called "Technically Not a Lie (Just Omitting Information)" and what is hilarious about that is it's only 27,000 words right now. I haven't touched that fic in forever because I just... had all of the information written down and the planning, and I got into Batfam and was like "Let's just write a little about this" and we can all blame @alighterwood for where we are now LMFAOOO

Thing is, I never expected LoF to get so popular, which is why it was posted first. I was like "I'll just make sure as much as I can that LoF is clear about his past so anyone who isn't me can read it and be fine." And now that we're here, I'm like "...that might be important."

I think it would be fun to have a prequel so more people can see the dynamics of Peter's world from before LoF in a much clearer light.

I kind of wanna shed a little light on how this prequel would go:

He ran from his last foster house at 12 years old, and he's year years old in this fic. In that time, he has been determined to make a life for himself all on his own, as well as help people as Spider-Man. He has no idea that his personality made people trust him so much. He's only on the street for about a year by the time the story starts, but "Parker" is very much intertwined with people. People just know him, he's the kid that the other kids go to for help. Even without Spider-Man (who, at this point, has only just gotten a proper suit and people actually realize he's not a cryptid), Parker manages to help people.

That's why the Avengers end up talking to him. Kids are going missing in Queens and show up dead- but most of them are the homeless population. They think it has something to do with people trying to make a knock-off super solider serum, and during their investigation, everything comes back to "That Parker Guy." Not in a bad way- everything has nice things to say. One kid even says they'll only talk to them if Parker vouches for them.

Turns out, Parker is a 13 year old and a fucking genius. I mentioned in LoF chapter 1 about it a little bit, and here and there it was mentioned. Peter gives the Avengers a real run for their money the way he does for the Batfam. Except it's ten times worse because he hasn't gone to therapy and is on his own, yknow?

So Bucky and Steve run across Peter (who is doing his own investigation into the missing kids as both Parker and Spider-Man) and that conversation ends with Peter going "Look behind you!" and sprinting in the opposite direction.

Sam and Banner are the ones that really track Parker down and have the first contact with him, and from there, he becomes their informant. Of course, he's also lying to their faces. Swears that he has a mother waiting for him and that he's just really good friends with these people. And people have lied several times to their faces for Peter, going with the lie, which muddies the waters about what is and isn't the truth.

From there, the rest is history. Tony thought he was just viewing Peter like he was a puzzle to figure out, and is truly shaken to his core when he realizes how much he cares about the little shit. When Peter gets kidnapped by the people making the knock off serum, they go looking for him. And Peter ends up having a home :)

[baby-alien11]

hi!! i loved your tolya fic, and i was wondering if you could write some more about him?? maybe reader goes with tolya and the crows to fetch the sword and that scene where they're all hallucinating because of the poison and tolya is like trying to protect reader until they all pass out? just imagine the angst and comfort that comes with it and the aftermath </3 thank you so much!!

Hi anon, thanks for sending the request, and I'm glad you liked my previous Tolya fic

I hope you like this one, literally, this one of the first things I saw when I woke up the morning you send it

Of all the adventures that you had been in your time as a member of the Sturmhond crew, well prince Nikolai crew, this was the most important of all

While a part of the crew stayed to control the situation with the Darkling, his sidekicks and the shadow, you, Tolya and Zoya traveled to Ketterdam to recruit the crows to get help to get a sword that would help to destroy the creatures that lived at the shadow

During the trip, Zoya made sure to stay away from you and Tolya to give the both of you some space, but mostly was because she didn't want to hear all the poetry that the heartrender recite to you

Most people would found it annoying, but for you it was lovely because that was the way he made his way to your heart

Convincing the crows to join was easy the moment they knew there will be a economic compensation, so during big part of the day while Kaz and Nina investigate where they could find the sword, the rest of you were gattered around that part of the city, you and Tolya were trying food from the stalls while he explained the plate that both of you were eating

When the night arrived, you, Tolya, Kaz, Inej and Jesper entered the Ohval's house, while Wylan stayed outside, but soon the five of you realised that you were trapped and some orange smoke was entering the small space

But even with your Inferni powers and the efforts of all of you, the smoke was starting to make effect on you taking your breath away, leaving you laying on the floor along with the others, leaving no space to Tolya to try to slow down your heart as he did with his own

When you woke up, you weren't in the Ohval's house anymore, standing up you realised you were in some kind of medaow with a small house a few metters in front of you, so you decided to get closer noticing two figures, one big and one small, playing in the entrance of the house, making your curiosity to increase

Stopping three metters away from the scene, you soon noticed how the two people playing were Tolya and a little girl who was a mix between both of you making you shed a few tears of happinnes of thinking about a possible future with your lover

But almost inmediatly, the tears of joy turned into tears of desperation and screams of pain when the small house and his surroundings light on fire along with Tolya and the little girl getting caught in the fire

Even if you tried to help to stop it, it wouldn't work because you were an inferni, it could be worse

When the fire started to get to you, you suddenly woke up watching Tolya hovering over you with his hand covering your mouth

"It's okay, it's okay", Tolya said noticing your panicked look, "Just eat it, it help with the venom"

Trusting in his words, you started to chew the thing that was in your mouth noticing it was a weird feeling and flavor until you finally eat it all

Making sure that you already eat it, Tolya help you to sit in which almost inmediatly, you hug him thightly remembering the vision you just had

At first, he was a little surprised but he realised you must had a hard vision so he hugged you with almost the same force as you

"We are okay", Tolya said again in a recomforting tone, "I'm here"

"I thought I lost you", you sniffled against his shoulder

"You are not going to loose me", he assured you, "I promise"

[vriskabot]

davris morning routine hcs?

YOU CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD I WAS PLAYING MINECRAFT cracks my knuckles. this kinda turned into sleeping habit and self care hcs as a whole sorry not sorry -vriska is not a night owl or a morning person but she IS a long and heavy sleeper. do not wake her up before she is good and ready or you WILL get torn a new asshole bare minimum. if the verbal lashing does not work she will escalate immediately and directly to grievous bodily harm -dave is probably the only person who can manage this without dying but even THEN he would much rather get on her ass about going to sleep on time than get on her ass about getting up in the morning -dave is a much lighter sleeper and honestly naturally a nap guy. i think on a genetic level the strilondes dont sleep long even when they DO manage to sleep (dirk and rose are notorious insomniacs) but i dont think dave really minds it -nobody knows when he sleeps but he does! hes just Constantly Around -this was only further reinforced by living with bro and being trained and all that jazz so daves sort of got a built in alarm clock (lol time player) -in that vein dave can kinda predict when vriska is gonna be up based on what time shes gone to sleep so he can be in and out of the bathroom before she needs to be in there which is. a very very good thing -i think dave was a lot more anal (and anxious) about what he looked like when he was a teen (to the point of being unable to leave the house if his hair wasnt JUST right) but hes way more lax about it now -that being said i also dont think hes gone fully curly girl now that hes okay with his hair having a single iota of texture whatsoever. he just combs it into the style he wants it to dry in and lets nature take the wheel after that (its very soft and vriska LOVES to touch and tousle it) -he MAYBE uses a light pomade while wet if anything but thats only if he NEEDS his hair to stay nice all day -vriska on the other hand. woo buddy. -depending on how im feeling about her styling, shes either full 17 step curly hair routine or blowdried + straightened + hairsprayed until its crunchy even if her hair is naturally already straight -like im sorry shes SO emo -i think a lot of that stemmed from the sort of persona she put on to protect herself that ended up becoming her taste Anyway -the full face of makeup + done hair carries a very Intentional feeling that makes her seem a little less off the wall, has-no-clue-what-shes-doing than she really IS -ultimately its about control! having more control over the interpersonal dynamics and the flow of things based on the kind of assumptions people make about her based on the way she presents herself -dave was doing his similarly insane hair routine at 13 14 15 for the same exact reasons -dont let her fool you though its all smoke and mirrors -when she was in her teens it was definitely a full coverage foundation + powder foundation + pencil liner for EVERYTHING situation and loads of dark eyeshadow -in her adulthood though i think shed be alright with like. a much more lightweight base like bbcream or even just concealer in spots for daily wear and she saves the full face beat for more special occasions like dates and shit -as much as i think dave finds later on in life that he actually kinda enjoys cooking, hes not up making a Full Breakfast every day -theyre both perfectly fine with like. toast and microwave breakfast sausage to eat -vriska however is not to be trusted with the stove. she sucks SO bad at cooking save for the few dishes shes ruined enough times that shes got the experience to do it right -both of them are horrible caffeine fiends. they will drink soda or energy drinks with breakfast and then wonder why their fucking stomachs hurt later -i think in the case of NEEDING caffeine vriska is much more varied in her intake sources--energy drinks, soda, coffee, and tea are all viable options depending on how much energy she feels she needs -dave though... he feels like the "starts with an energy drink and only drinks other stuff when he has a craving" kinda guy

-though maybe thats the raging adhd you tell me -their bed is almost never ever made and both of them live in organized chaos. whether or not they ENJOY the chaos is a different story entirely -vriska is a blanket hog AND a pillow hog so they eventually had to settle on each having their own blankets -vriska loathes mint toothpaste and dave is a cinnamon toothpaste guy so you can imagine how much of a eureka moment vriska had the first time she spent the night -and yes that means she was just bearing with the mint because she had no clue there was any other option -uhhhhh i cant think of much else more on this topic i hope u enjoyed <3

[big-royal-chicken]

Hazbin Ship Meme

My friend @staticradioismyfavhateship brought this meme to my attention, so here’s my take on it. My feelings on these ships can be read under the cut:

RadioRose 📻🌹

OTP but in a platonic way. I just really like this duo, and I think it’s because I’m biased and Rosie is my favorite character. Their dynamic reminds me a lot of another pairing from another series (one that I do ship in a romantic context).

They’re just aesthetically pleasing to look at and I love the silly fluff that comes with it. Which is ironic as they are both demon canibals.

Alastor isn’t into sex and romance, but he trusts Rosie and seems to be on good terms with her, so that’s all that matters.

RadioSilence 📻📺

I’m intrigued by the idea of Vox having these unrequited feelings for Alastor, both as a rival and maybe a lover? I just like the idea of him being uber jealous over Rosie and Lucifer. Rosie for having a deep friendship with him, and Lucifer for having a compelling rivalry. (I blame my friend and their cute art too)

Season two might shed some more light on their past so we’ll see how things go from there.

Lucifer x Alastor

(I know what it’s called, I’m not using the name)

I’m gonna be real with you chief, fandom kind of ruined this one for me. I like them as rivals who may become friends later on. I’ve been given too many recommendations showing explicit or suggestive art of the two, which is extremely out of character for Alastor. I can’t stop people from shipping it, but I am going to have to resort to filtering it out and blocking blogs that have it.

Alastor x Charlie

Same reasons I don’t like Ra/pple, but also to do with that Charlie is already in a loving relationship with Vaggie and Alastor has canonically stated that he sees her as a daughter. Honestly, Alastor x any of the Morningstar family is a NOTP for me.

Other ships

Emily x Charlie x Vaggie: I think Chaggie is cute. It could’ve had some more development in the show though. I’m intrigued by the idea of Emily x Charlie x Vaggie as a polyamorous ship.

Carmilla x Zestiel: I think it’s cute. Like Radiorose, it seems these two have a history together and have formed a deep relationship from it. Unlike Radiorose, I’m uncertain if theirs potential for romance.

CherriSnake: Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s cute and their dynamic is intriguing, but I think they were done dirty by the pacing of the show.

Lucilith: I’ve seen some cute art and their backstory is adorable, but we have yet to see how their dynamic plays out.

Huskerdust: Not a shipper, but I can see how people could be into them.

StaticMoth: This one is weird because I don’t like Valentino for obvious reasons, and Vox isn’t any better- so I think these bastards deserve each other.

Lute x Adam: Neutral about it, but I can see it being a one-sided admiration.

[futurebird]

The Overdue Man

Have you ever had an uncanny or possibly paranormal experience?

I have.

It happened when I was in undergrad, I had a work-study in the Archivists Office in the rare books section of the library. The library is a classic modern building from the 50s, once ahead of its time, now well behind. The computer system was similar, my college being one of the first to adopt a digital library catalog in the late 60s

So, as you can see, this is, in part, a story of a haunted computer terminal.

I had returned early from spring break to pack in some extra hours in the library so I could avoid working during exams week. The campus was lovely in spring, dogwood trees shed pink petals on the quad, tulips tossed & bobbed sudden short thunderstorms. I got lost in my work on the solid library terminal with it's chunky keyboard & blue-green matrix screen.

My desk was under a little sky light in a hidden corner of the 5th floor. That's how I noticed the light changing.

The library was a modernist building, as I mentioned, and many people called it "ugly" I think simply because it was modern. Secretly it was one of my favorite buildings on the campus. Because, although built with clean minimalist lines, it was made with care. The architect clearly cared about light. During the day, the building hardly used any electric lights at all.

So, I was alarmed when the sky suddenly darkened so drastically that the runners came on. But, this was spring and I looked up expecting the thunder and another violent little thunder storm.

Gazing up through the skylight told me little. The window was frosted, and I could only see a steel gray haze. The green blue glow of the old computer lit my keyboard and I endeavored to keep working.

Before I could apply myself to my task the light shifted again. This time growing brighter... golden. The runners switched off. The air grew still. The library was empty.

The light from the skylight and from every window was a lustrous pink-gold, a sunset color although it was only early afternoon. The effect was beautiful, dust motes played near the stair well.

The bell at the front desk around the corner rang. Strange. I didn't hear anyone enter.

My main duty was cataloging, but if the head archivist was out I was tasked with lending out rare books in his place. I went around to see who it was.

The light was much more dramatic in the rare books library lobby where there were more skylights & windows, the whole space was bathed in that peach-toned light. And there, by the bell, stood a young man. Smartly dressed. Too smartly dressed.

In fact, a large part of the "paranormal" nature of this experience will require you to trust my (even then) finally tuned sense of fashion.

He had on tweed pants and a sweater, leather shoes and a button down shirt. All of his clothes were out of time. His sweater, to take one item, was a campy letterman affair in school colors. Hand knit. It was the kind of plain sweater that no one would bother to hand knit. It was hand knit self-consciously because whoever bought it couldn't afford store-bought and aimed to approximate the mass produced look as best they could. In short, it was very old.

But, it was also brand new.

The same was true of his plain, white shirt. I could see less than perfect hand stitching on the collar. Who, today would sew a white button-down shirt by hand?

Under his arm he held a notebook, and even it struck me as all wrong for the date of our existence. It was a composition book the likes of which I have never seen except in archives, the black and white dapple pattern was made by splattering ... not printing.

His outfit, though very plain, had that effect of a costume. I took all this in and decided he was from the drama department.

Not everyone could check out rare books. We had our own system, hence the computer in the basement and the beautiful, clunky terminals. I asked for his ID. That's when things got even more strange.

His ID was *laminated* and contained a *real photograph*! His name inscribed by typewriter. His student ID? In pen! I started to have my doubts about my theory that he was from drama. Maybe this was an elaborate book heist!

I tuned over the ID frowning with doubt. "This isn't-" "I'm a grad student." He explained quickly. "Have been for a long time. I know that photo is old..."

The photo didn't look old to me at all. Though, perhaps it was that strange light, concealing and repainting things, for as much as I'd noticed his clothing, I took more notice now of the man himself. He had an uncanny ageless quality. I could not have said if he were 25 or 45... or perhaps even older.

I peered at the photograph on the ID comparing it to the man. They were clearly the same. The clothing in the photo looked just as anachronistic. Even the background of the photo felt like something from a forgotten decade, a pull-down painted backdrop of the college rotunda. His photo beamed at me, and so did the man himself.

Some of the faculty had such ancient IDs. So, I decided to search him up in the system. I tried his last name, which was short an unusual. No luck. I tried his ID--

When I entered his student ID the terminal flashed. The screen inverting for a moment. I gave it wack, as I'd seen the head archivist do, and this seemed to clear it up... but the record I was now viewing was curious and incomplete.

His name had been entered in the wrong field, which is why the search failed. His first name was just an initial. I attempted to correct this but the system wouldn't accept my changes.

I scanned the book. And handed it over to him. He smiled, thanked me, and it seemed very sincere. Whatever else he was, whoever or wherever (whenever) he'd come from he seemed like a nice person, at least.

I watched him leave, and then leaned over to the window hoping to see him go out through the main exit on ground level below.

But he never came out. Instead the golden light began to rapidly fade. The library returned to normal... the charm that hovered over the place was gone.

Maybe he was just a quirky grad student with a thing for vintage clothing construction, a very old ID, uncanny ageless looks, and great timing with lighting. (and he could have left the library via the tunnels. )

I tried to look at his record in the system again, and NOBODY could edit it. Not even the head archivist. It kept changing itself back. Edits wouldn't stick. To this day, I can't shake the feeling that something more was going on.

I never saw him again.

If you are wondering, the book was "Physics and applications of secondary electron emission"

[silk-scarlet-ribbons]

I binge-read (which, I'll admit, doesn't do your pacing justice. Planning on rereading it slower lol) your work "children of the stars" and i have. so many (positive) thoughts

I don't usually read sa recovery fics coz I feel like it's common for authors to emphasize the pain more than the recovery-- which, coz fanfic is usually used to vent, isn't bad per se, its just not my thing -- but i was really pleasantly surprised by yours. I love how you express how fucked Tim's situation is while in Jason's POV coz you never really take away from it, while still portraying the distress that he feels and the forced (by law) compliance that often comes with SA by authority figures. How Jason has to walk himself through putting the kid over his anger is gut-wrenchingly amazing (esp with taking the Pit into account), and how Jason works on himself and is generally happier for/because of Tim genuinely made me have to stand up in certain parts. It shows how much Jason doesn't want his own experiences to repeat (both with his alluded to childhood, and with Bruce) and proves how different he is to the character Tim's initially been threatened with. That eventually crescendoing into him calling the exact person he's so cautious of being like??? Actually made me want to die (in a good way).

You also make sure to still express that Tim is a child, which I really appreciated coz i feel like when younger people go through that, it tends to be made into a "step into maturity". Tim just. God, I cried so hard at the "I'll be brave until you get there". The idea that he thinks it'll happen again contrasted with the trust he has in Jason is so aauuuugggghh

Also?? I really really related to Dick in this particular work because of how you portrayed his own reactions and experiences. Coping by taking on responsibility and then having to shed that abruptly when someone else has experienced a similar situation was something I really really liked your approach to. Especially after he finds that Tim has the same/similar trigger to him?? Every different experience with SA that you wrote hit so hard. Definitely one of my favorite reps so far. God. I love all of your character writing. DUDE ALSO WITH BRUCE?? ALFRED?? MARCO?? You described all of the bat's grief and longing for what was so welllll.

Just. Really really refreshing read, 100% gonna go through the rest of your works. Sorry if this was long winded or annoying lol, feel free to disregard if you want to. Either way, thank you so much for posting that (for free!) and I look forward to future chapters if you write any more :)

in case you were wondering, anon, this reply is so late because i spent the last week crying over it <3 /lh

Ohhh man oh man. OH MAN. OH MAN! this is honestly so kind,,, jkjkjdfkjdf Jason and Tim's journeys in CotS as they try to rationalize with what happened to them while still allowing themselves to be juvenile, somehow, was basically a cornerstone in the fic, and I'm so beyond excited and grateful that there are people who genuinely enjoyed that aspect of it. AND DICK, MY BELOVED.... I could never leave him out of it either, I love that guy.

It just means the world to me that you enjoyed this so much? Idk it's like the horrors of being perceived but they're not horrors, they're joys. The joys of having my fic perceived. Grief is one of my favorite things to write for how powerful it is, and getting this kind of feedback only makes me want to keep going (especially now, when I've been hitting a dearth of creativity, lol).

I have one more official chapter planned for CotS--- it's proving to be the hardest to write, because on my life I hate finishing things. Sometimes I can't finish things. But this makes me want to finish it just to give this fic's wonderful, wonderful readers a conclusion.

This was not annoying at all-- I genuinely read it, like, seven-eight times. It was an absolute light for my entire week. Never apologize for doing this for the works you love, I promise you we are reading and we are cherishing.

[beybladefanboy]

A brief(ish) review of every Beyblade Metal Fury episode

Well, this was a long time coming. Let me be absolutely clear: I did not put this off or abandon this rewatch because I dislike Fury. Not at all. Fury is actually my favourite of the three seasons. The reason I stopped this rewatch was two main factors: 1: it was around this time that I got really sucked into Yugioh VRAINS and with how chaotic my life had been during that time, I decided I would rather spend my free time watching new content than rewatch a show I’d rewatched many times at that point. And 2: I didn’t want to rewatch Ryuga’s death. Yeah… I mean I’m not gonna lie about it.

So after a certain episode, which I will say, the reviews are mostly from memory/rewatching specified scenes/skimming the YouTube uploads and episode descriptions. (Most of these however were written at the time I finished rewatching each episode.) Trust me that I’ve seen this show enough for me to be able to do that and I just didn’t have the time to rewatch all these episodes. However, it bothered me leaving this incomplete so today, I had some time and was thinking of Beyblade so I figured I could finally do it. Now, without further ado, my at first brief, but later not so brief at all because I have so many thoughts on and defenses of Fury, reviews of every Fury episode.

Episode 1: Star Fragment 8.5/10

The best first episode of a season. I love Kyoya and Gingka’s battles in general and seeing them go all out against each other, using the environment itself as weapons against each other is really damn fun. It also sets up the star fragment thing beautifully, instantly showing off their power and hinting at the greater story very early.

Episode 2: Legendary Bladers 7/10

A lot of this episode is exposition but it’s at least interesting. I can’t get over the fact that Beyblade took a real life end of the world prediction and made it part of their plot. The battle portion of this episode is also fine. I can’t tell if I like or hate Johannes based on this episode.

Episode 3: Lynx, The Monster Cat 8/10

Okay, I like Johannes now. He’s funny. And he miraculously gave Gingka a good fight, establishing him early on as a competent blader. Still a little silly that Gingka followed Johannes to a place where he should’ve known his bey would’ve been weaker though.

Episode 4: L-Drago Destructor 8.5/10

I don’t really have much to say on this episode outside of “I like it.” I like the scenes of them play-battling with the little kid, it’s the most light-hearted the show has been in a while, and I love Ryuga so obviously I love his presence in this episode.

Episode 5: Awaken, Anubius! 9.5/10

Ryuga slays three fools in a row and roasts people non-stop in this episode. Well, Yuki’s not a fool, he’s kind of a boss actually: shedding his anxious demeanour in a fit of rage to stand up for his friends. These characters are both amazing, they really shine in this episode.

Episode 6: Requirements of a Warrior 9/10

Having Gingka, Kyoya, and Yuki acknowledge that they need to actually master their beys and working to do so is really good and needed to be brought up. Also, that fire escape scene is really intense. The idea of being trapped in a fire really freaks me out so this could just be a me thing but it’s legitimately a well crafted scene. And Yuki, Kyoya, and Gingka fighting a volcano is the silly yet epic fun I expect from this show.

Episode 7: Kenta’s Determination 7/10

Oh boy, this episode. I both love and hate this episode. Well, not hate. I hate one scene of it that lasts a minute and really doesn’t affect the episode. The stalking though… I don’t know, it could just be me but it bugs me. Not as much as it used to, I’m willing to give this episode a fair score because it is really cute. Ryuga is a boss like usual and he shows a hint of his softer side for the first time in his scenes with Kenta. It’s pretty subtle, and easy to miss if you don’t know Ryuga all that well, which I like. This episode trusts that the audience knows Ryuga well enough at this point to know that him waiting on Kenta in the desert and later giving him food and letting him stick with him isn’t something he would do for just anyone. They’re small hints, which is all they needed to be, and they make the second half of this episode for me. It’s honestly one of my favourites to talk about and analyse, even if I feel that there are some… unwanted implications.

Episode 8: The Crimson Flash 7.5/10

The first half of the episode is pretty typical but still fun. Then we get to the second half and the moment they said that someone challenged the entire school to a battle, I was already dying of laughter and the rest of this episode straight up killed me. Johannes is so funny, I can’t take it.

Episode 9: The Greatest Tag-Team Tournament 9/10

The first half of this episode had me cry-laughing, between Johannes’s utter ridiculousness and the absurdity of some of these other opponents. Then the second half of this episode is Yuki depicting an accurate representation of one of my anxiety episodes which makes me instinctively want to shield him from all harm. Great episode overall.

Episode 10: A New Roar! 8/10

I love Kyoya, and this is a Kyoya episode. A Kyoya episode where he slays a fool and creates a new special move. His opponent is Johannes, who I've grown to love on this rewatch and find to be really entertaining. So why didn’t I give this episode a higher rating? Easy: the Motti stuff makes me uncomfortable. Johannes snapping at her and knocking both her and Benkei out (in the most cat-like way he could) was a good pay-off but that entire stretch of them kinda sexualizing (or at least romanticising) this underaged girl was really uncomfortable. It wasn’t as bad as I remembered (for some reason I remembered Johannes acting creepy during this and was exceedingly relieved and glad that he actually didn’t), but it does detract from an otherwise great episode.

Episode 11: Cosmic Tornado 8/10

This episode is ten times worse than the Gingka vs Ryuga Fusion battle for people with a fear of heights (me). At least in that one you could see the bottom. This is a bottomless pit full of mist that two teenagers are constantly dangling over. Like jeez, do you wanna give me a heart attack?!

Other than that, it’s fine, I like most of the characters and the ending is chilling but man does this episode give me anxiety.

Episode 12: The God of Saturn, Kronos 8.5/10

The title of this episode is so dumb, but the episode itself is good. The Beylin Fist are an interesting group and this battle is so back and forth I genuinely wasn’t sure who would win. Cool ass episode.

Episode 13: Showdown at the Tower of Babel 10/10

Ryuga, Kenta, and Tsubasa all in one episode battling in and eventually destroying a historical building? This should be my favourite episode ever! :D And I do love it, definitely the most out of the Fury episodes so far. It’s got a hint of Johannes toward the beginning, a nice treat, shows that Kenta has already grown a ton since he started following Ryuga (despite his loss he still gave Tsubasa a hard fight), has Tsubasa as basically the main character we follow throughout the tower, and has Ryuga make a new ultimate move, kick Tsubasa’s ass, and knock over the Tower of Babel (the symbol of humanity’s arrogance and pride from what I understand) like the total badass he is. I love everything about this episode.

Episode 14: New Team Dungeon! 7.5/10

The opening of this episode is a bit spooky. I forgot how much of a cult the followers of Nemesis really are. I actually 100% see how these characters fell for this stuff. “The world is a constant cycle of destruction and rebirth, only through great darkness will a new dawn occur.” Does actually sound legit. Villains are far scarier to me when you can see their reasoning and how people can fall prey to it…

The rest of this episode is mainly set up and exposition but it’s interesting stuff that brings Masamune, Toby, Zeo, and Tsubasa into the main plot, giving Toby and Zeo new beys, and even giving Team Excalibur a bit of screen time. Good stuff.

Episode 15: Destroyer Dome 8/10

This is my favourite stadium in all of Beyblade. That seems like a weird thing to draw attention to, but the Destroyer Dome itself is so damn cool. The way the beys circle around the whole thing like comets, sticking to the ceiling and walls and looping around in every possible direction. It’s a stadium Captain Capri would’ve loved- OH MY GOD THEY BROUGHT HIM BACK JUST TO BATTLE IN THIS COOL ASS STADIUM?! HELL YEAH! I love this episode.

I do have one major gripe with this episode though: the Garcias faking a fight was… well, kind of a waste of both time and potential. It would’ve been so much more interesting both as a story and for them as characters if the fighting was genuine.

Episode 16: The New Striker is Complete! 8.5/10

JACK MY BELOVED MAKES A CAMEO! AND KING THE FUNNY ADORABLE LITTLE SHIT IS INTRODUCED. OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!

Oh yeah and the Russian team and Masamune and some other people are there I guess. It’s a fun battle royale. I really like the part where Lera reveals she has a special move and it makes Jigsaw visible again. Good stuff, even if it ends too quickly.

Episode 17: I Am the Champion! 9.5/10

DESTROYER DOME AT NIGHT, DESTROYER DOME AT NIGHT, DESTROYER DOME AT NIGHT, OH MY GOD IT’S SO PRETTY. THE BEYS LOOK LIKE FIREWORKS AS THEY CLASH OH MY GOD-

Also, the destroyer dome becomes a giant hamster ball and King and Masamune run with it like they’re on a treadmill. I dunno how the others got out when it was made clear by Blader DJ last episode that there’s no way to get out of the stadium once you get in but it’s cool so I’ll let it pass. But yeah anyways, King’s backstory gives him an honestly really uplifting reason that he’s so arrogant and reckless, which does lower the annoyingness of his previous and future actions a lot. He’s excited to be battling and not thinking of anything else in that excitement. He acknowledges that Masamune is someone he can use his full strength against and he respects him as an opponent. It’s nice and very sweet and all that mushy stuff. I love it.

Episode 18: The Maze of Mist Mountain 7/10

Half of this episode is just the main characters, and returning side characters Nile and Demure (nice to see them again) wandering around some mist. … okay then. The other half is a decent battle between Gingka and Ryuto. It’s a decent introduction to this story arc. I like the new character, Ryuto, even if he doesn’t really add much.

Episode 19: The Lion’s Pride 9/10

The travelling segments of this one are a lot more interesting than last time, being more than the characters just wandering around in some mist. And the battle portion is just really damn good. Team Wild Fang is back! Heck yeah! And Kyoya vs Aguma is a constant explosion match (both literally and figuratively) and Nile, Demure, and Benkei taking on Johannes, Bao, and the Beylin Fist bladers is also a fun side battle.

Also, while I was disappointed with how this character arc was resolved and the way it starts is a little weird (I’ll get to that later), it was still a really interesting idea to have Kyoya basing his self-worth on his independence, and seeing it as a weakness to rely on others. It’s a very toxic mindset that fits his character and would’ve been great had it been properly addressed. But I’ll get to that when I get to that.

Episode 20: Guardian of the Temple, Dynamis 8/10

Dynamis has probably the best introduction out of all the legendary bladers. All the others just kinda walk in like “hey I’m so and so and this is my goal.” Dynamis though? He speaks to the group when they’re lost in the mist as if he’s speaking from the sky like a god or something, then when they finally get into his temple he challenges them to a battle, smirking like a sassy little shit as he wins. Also, he literally can hear the stars talk, I forgot this detail. My point is Dynamis is hecking cool.

Episode 21: The Legend of Nemesis’ Revival 8/10

Gingka vs Dynamis is a good battle but then it gets cut off without an outcome and then the rest of this episode is exposition. Out of all the exposition dump episodes in this show, I do think this one is the best as it’s the most interesting and action-packed but there is too much information in this spiel. If there’s any part of Fury that I can agree is rushed, it’s this. I wish the exposition in this episode had been shortened and maybe some of it spread out to other episodes so it’s not all dumped on the audience at once. The main things we really needed going forward from this episode was the origin of Nemesis, the way they were defeated long ago, and the fact one of the remaining legendary bladers is the Venus blader with a Quetzalcoatl.

So while this episode wasn’t the best way to convey most of its information, it’s still interesting and important information for the story, which I do think is a good story. So I’m giving this episode a somewhat higher score than what it probably deserves. I just enjoy Fury’s lore and Dynamis and the commentary on humanity and its history that much. I can see how this episode could bore and there were times the over-explaining bogged me down while watching but overall it was still a delight.

Episode 22: The Four Season Bladers 8.5/10

Okay, this exposition is a lot simpler and easier to follow. It takes up far less of the episode and cuts to the chase much quicker. Then the rest of this episode is the craziest battle royale of the entire show so far, ending when Kyoya reaches his breaking point which has been building over the past few episodes. He allowed what may have been just a small feeling at first to fester on the inside since he refused to tell anyone what he was going through until he eventually just snapped, which is pretty relatable to me personally. Kyoya’s arc in these episodes is well done. I understand the criticism that it’s strange he took Aguma’s words to heart so much when Kyoya doesn’t really know him and normally wouldn’t care about taunts like that. I want to argue it wasn’t specifically Aguma, or even what he said, it was Kyoya’s own internal realisation that he wasn’t living up to his own standards of strength. He internalised the idea that relying on others was showing weakness, an idea he carried yet simultaneously seemed to have been contradicting even before the start of the show. That kind of life shattering realisation is going to cause a huge reaction, no matter what prompted it. If Kyoya’s character arc this season had been resolved better (which again I’ll get to), it would be one of my favourite arcs of the show. I cannot stress enough how good of a setup this really was and how much potential this had.

Episode 23: The Battle of Beyster Island 8.5/10

“tHaT gUy lOoKs iNtErEsTiNg.”

I love King, oh my god. He is so freaking excited and happy to be battling that even when Aguma reveals a move that could defeat him, King just goes “that is so awesome!” I love his energy so much, he’s basically an excited fanboy and I love it. This episode was fun overall but King is the one who shines the brightest in my opinion.

Episode 24: Two Big, Fierce Battles! 9.5/10

I can totally understand how the back and forth switching between two unrelated battles might be off-putting… but I don’t have that issue. I love all these characters. I love seeing Kenta’s growth and Gingka acknowledging him. I love getting more of those subtle hints that Ryuga has grown to care about Kenta, and of course, the banter between Ryuga and King. There’s a reason I created a ship between these two. Even though they only met once in this battle, King not knowing who he is and just being excited to battle a strong opponent and Ryuga being confused/annoyed with him is really fun. Kenta and Gingka’s battle is definitely the more plot relevant one (and oh my gosh I love that scene on the beach) while Ryuga vs King could definitely be called fan service, but it’s great fan service that fits right in perfectly dammit! It’s something kid-me wanted to see ever since King’s reverse rotation was introduced and it’s great!

Episode 25: The Unseen Opponent 7.5/10

Chris’s introduction episode. It still annoys me how insistent the characters are that Masamune has to be the Legendary Blader and ignore Chris entirely and Chris’s bey’s physics are impossible but the battle in this episode is still good. And my god do I love Chris. He’s already a huge mood with the way he talks about his job. “I’ve dealt with much worse than this!” “If I lose, I will not be able to survive in this world!”

Episode 26: Orion’s Whereabouts 8.5/10

This episode is so chaotic, I love it. Everyone is just in a mosh pit of madness, with King defending his friend, Gingka trying to get him to chill, Chris instantly sucking up to his new boss, Ryuga showing up to wreak havoc, it’s all so damn fun. Stand out moments from this episode definitely include Kenta hugging the evil out of Ryuga, King cheering Masamune up, and that chilling ending. It’s great fun, and could be the last really fun episode of Fury as soon we get into the emotionally intense stuff…

Episode 27: The Lion in the Wilderness 7/10

Yu is such a brat but in a charming way. I can’t stay mad at the little guy, especially when he’s the one to call out Kyoya for not knowing shit about lions. Haha if only that weren’t the closest thing to resolving this character arc. Overall, fine episode. I like Tithi just fine and Kyoya and Yu are at least funny. Next episode though…

Episode 28: The God of Venus: Quetzalcoatl! 5/10

Yu and Tithi’s battle is pretty fun, it’s a good official introduction to Tithi. The first half of this episode is fine, fairly enjoyable if a bit standard. The second half though… ugh. I wrote a whole fanfiction rewriting this which… should explain how I feel about it. What Kyoya does here feels so out of character at this point and even if it’s not, it’s just irritating and the destiny moral is really fumbled here. Every other episode says the choices of the legendary bladers will decide the fate of the world and the narrative of this very episode even supports that: Kyoya chose to leave the heroes and then chose to return. Destiny didn’t actually force him to do anything. Kyoya just claims it’s his destiny out of nowhere. It fumbles the “destiny is a choice” idea and feels like an excuse to get him to return quickly without acknowledging the reason he left in the first place. Yu saying lions hunt in groups isn’t good enough because Kyoya doesn’t even acknowledge that or think about it… at all. So yeah it’s lazy writing and really disappointing considering how much potential Kyoya’s arc had. The final scene is pretty cool though, good setup for the next episode.

Episode 29: The God of Destruction’s Revival! 10/10

(This is the point where I start reviewing the episodes based on memory/episode descriptions.)

I’ll be honest, most of the episodes that were originally two 11 minute episodes flow pretty seamlessly as one put together episode. This is the only one where I can tell this was originally two episodes, as the two halves follow two completely different sets of characters. The first half is the revival of Nemesis, a chilling, tense spectacle, while the first half almost exclusively, and a little out of nowhere, is a battle between Kenta and Ryuga. That being said, while I definitely prefer the second half, both halves are fantastic. A little odd when put together, but tonally they mesh well enough and I love how much Kenta has grown in this episode and his plan to beat Ryuga is so good that even though I knew it wouldn’t work, I see how it could have worked. Plus, y’all know I love their friendship, it’s just so damn wholesome, I can’t-

Episode 30: The Child of Nemesis 7/10

Hello, obviously Doji in a top hat and trench coat. Why are you here exactly? Yeah I know his first appearance was in the last episode but I have less to say about this episode than I did that one so I’m gonna talk about the Doji thing here. Bringing Doji back was almost completely unnecessary and weird but honestly, after seeing how much more poor and ill-fitting his presence in Shogun Steel was, his appearance in Fury feels pretty inoffensive and just… whatever. He’s pointless but not unbearable.

Otherwise, cool ass raid episode, I like evil Dynamis and Kyoya showing up at the end. Nothing else really sticks out about this episode but it’s not bad. It’s just… not one that I can instantly point to and go “ah yes, the episode where this happened!” The main battle is Gingka vs Evil Dynamis. We’ve already seen Gingka vs Dynamis and they don’t even get to finish their battle. The episode is still fun but… feels like it could’ve been trimmed back to tighten the pacing.

Episode 31: Four Hearts 8/10

Okay, this episode is much more memorable. Kyoya vs Dynamis and Aguma vs Tithi are both fun battles (even if I don’t get why the Planet bladers were descendants rather than reincarnations when the latter makes way more sense with what’s presented in this episode, is that just a dub thing?) and the bulk of Gingka vs Chris actually happens in this episode. I could’ve sworn that happened in its own episode but… yeah this episode and the previous and following one kind of blend together in my mind because all of them take place in this temple and flow directly into each other. That’s not a knock against the episodes, it’s just how my memory works. This one moves the plot along more than the last one and I love Chris so most of the episode being focused on his battle with Gingka is good in my books.

Episode 32: Come Together, Legendary Bladers! 9/10

Also known as the episode where Ryuga fucks everything up. And every battle from the last episode also ends. A lot of Ls were taken in this episode. By the characters, the episode itself is damn fun. This episode also has two halves that feel a bit pasted together, with the first half focusing on the fallout of the three battles and the second half being the part everyone remembers where all the Legendary Bladers attempt to join together only for the aforementioned Ryuga hecking up everything but these halves mesh much better as it focuses on all the same characters as the first half so there’s no random sudden shift in focus, it’s just the next logical event in the plot.

This episode also features the scene where King and Masamune pose like magical girls. I’m just bringing that up because it’s cute not because it’s relevant.

Episode 33: Diablo Nemesis 8.5/10

The temple getting wrecked took up more time than I remembered but oh well, the first half of this episode is a good display of Rago’s power and while the second half is tonally different, it’s the most logical direction for the plot to go. Plus it’s a nice chance to see the Legendary Bladers interact, in some cases meet, in a way that’s more low-key. As much as I love Fury, I do wish it had more scenes like that, more chances for the characters to just breathe or establish bonds.

Episode 34: To The Final Battle Ground 7.5/10

So for some reason, the official source for Beyblade on YouTube incorrectly titled this and the next episode and also put them out of order. Episode 136 is titled “To The Final Battle Ground” and has that episode’s description but the episode is actually “Episode 137 The Lost Kingdom” and vice versa for the next episode. While I’m not fully rewatching these last eleven episodes due to time constraints, I did check my DVD for Metal Fury (which is an official release) and it didn’t make that mistake, the episodes are titled correctly and in the correct order so this was a mistake the YouTube channel made and I don’t know why it happened or why they haven’t fixed it even 7 years later. For anyone watching Fury, be sure to get the correct order! The show didn’t skip over Aguma’s redemption, the channel just put the episodes in the wrong order!

Anyways, the episode itself. Yeah, it has Aguma’s big redemption moment and… I actually do think it works pretty well. It’s nothing super deep, but he comes to the logical conclusion that saving the world comes before the Beylin Fist’s feud with Beylin and shows his commitment to the group by helping them fight off Johannes and his goons and save their helicopter. The rest of this episode before the battle is just the characters training to prepare for the final confrontation as they don’t know the whereabouts of Nemesis before they get a clue to said whereabouts and decide to go there. Not the most eventful episode but it works well enough. Besides… the next episode is… more eventful to say the least.

Episode 35: The Lost Kingdom 8.5/10

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to have pure pain directly injected into your heart? I don’t have to, I watched this episode.

Try as I might, I cannot get through this episode, or the following one, without crying. Some movies or shows that try to depict a character fighting to their very last breath with every ounce of their strength before ultimately fighting to their last breath, cannot convince me that the character gave it their all. This is not one of those moments. This battle is as long as it needs to be and every moment is there to further the struggle, the slow fall of the once invincible-seeming Dragon Emperor, and I feel every bit of it. It’s the reason I… couldn’t bring myself to rewatch these episodes again at the point in my life I was at when this rewatch occurred. I was already getting my heart violently ripped out by a new show (and general life events that I won’t go into) and didn’t want my comfort show also causing me pain. So while this episode is great, phenomenal even, it’s… the second hardest episode for me to revisit. Entrusted Emotions only barely edges it out because that episode literally traumatised me to the point of developing a phobia. This one… is just a really sad episode that I always grab tissues before.

Doji’s also in this episode and while I don’t feel like his presence in this season was necessary (and in retrospect, it may have just been there to set up Shogun Steel, which I overall didn’t care for), I will say having him specifically there to mock and enrage Ryuga makes it more painful, at least to me.

Episode 36: The Missing Star of the Four Seasons 10/10

Most of the episode, after the gang reacts to the death of Ryuga which is… also… really damn painful… is them struggling against Nemesis, unable to form the barrier to seal him away due to the passing of Ryuga and… yeah it captures that struggle well. The weight of the world is on the group’s shoulders and it is a hopeless impossible battle and you can feel that in the way they get knocked around despite their teamwork and despite them fighting at their hardest. Maybe it goes on a little too long but this is essentially the final battle and the feels are all there throughout and… the scene everyone remembers from this episode…

I did rewatch that scene (and a couple other scenes in the next episode), and my god is it still just as impactful all this time later. The build up, the atmosphere, the feels, the ANIMATION, holy fuck the animation. And the sound design, Ryuga’s harsh breathing, those final words. I don’t even know what to say, this moment is just phenomenal, my favourite in the entire series without question. Really, when I put Flash Sagittario in my top five Fury episodes all that time ago, it included this episode. Both are such a tense fantastic emotional spectacle that flow into each other beautifully.

Episode 37: Flash Sagittario 10/10

Everything I said about last episode applies to this episode, only now the tides have turned in the heroes’ favour with Kenta’s evolution into a legendary blader, with his new Flash Sagittario, which the episode shows off very well. That moment where he defeats Pluto with Diving Arrow gives me all the feels. If I have one gripe in this episode, it’s that there are more flashback sequences than they probably needed but it’s a final battle and the flashbacks don’t take away from or affect the pacing in any major way for me.

Episode 38: Hades’ Persistence 7/10

Oh, right, the last two episodes weren't the final battle. Honestly, could’ve fooled me, with a proper epilogue afterwards, that battle would’ve worked perfectly as the final battle, it shows the Legendary Bladers all working together and while it excludes a few older characters, the setup is cool and unique and fits the teamwork themes even better than Masters’ ending did and the battle itself is entertaining enough for me to forgive its shortcomings.

This… is just the fate of the world coming down to Gingka again. And everyone giving him their power. Again. Fusion did this first and did this better. Because that coming down to Gingka made sense, he was the one with the greatest connection to the villain, Fusion was very much his story and while he’s still the protagonist, he isn’t more important than anyone else in Masters’ final battle of the previous battle of Fury. This… ruins that, it feels really generic and phoned in. It’s not bad though, I do love Kyoya’s speech to Gingka before he and the others give Gingka their power. That does bring everything together really well and makes this otherwise pointless battle more forgivable for me. It’s a slip up for sure but it’s still entertaining.

Episode 39: A Ray of Hope 8/10

“Every bey has a Star Fragment in it so we can all contribute”… okay…? Well, that’s not incorrect or anything, it does fit the lore of the series and brings everyone together for the final climax in a way that episodes 36 and 37 didn’t but… eh, this never did much for me.

Now the epilogue post battle though? That’s some nice stuff. The gang have been through hell but now that it’s over, they pick themselves back up and start to heal. Enough so that Gingka and Kyoya are even willing to have a battle, a no stakes fun battle to see who the true victor between them is, just like old times. A great final note to a great show.

[fatgumsurpremacy-remastered]

Have you watched Emesis Blue? What did you think of it?

(I LOVED IT)

I have! I’ve also written some stuff about it!

Cw: spoilers, obvious dark subject matter

Okay, I wanna talk about the beginning and how well they portrayed true relationship between Jeremy and Fritz. It’s clear they’ve got a mutual trust in one another and it hurts all the more when Fritz finds him dead. I’m still 100% devastated by the ugly ass smile Medic gives in the respawn. That hurts me so bad man. The way they portray Fritz’s mental state decaying is chilling but it sheds him in a light that this was bred from necessity. He clearly cares about Jeremy, there would be no reason for him to go to the slaughterhouse otherwise. And while plagued with these visions he doesn’t want to worry Jeremy with trivial detail.

The setup of all of it was amazing and the amount of Kubrick references absolutely had be absorbed. It’s nice to feel a story flesh out certain properties to something entirely it’s own. The looping sequences sent chills down my spine but my favorite mindfuck were the conaghers.

Zed has to be one of my favorite renditions of Engie because of how they portray him as an active threat rather than passive danger. While he appears cool and sadistic, that coolness is out the window the second he gets a chance to play with someone he deems a threat (ie) Fritz. The moment he said “I’da got you.” and starts giggling showed me just how fucked up he was if he wasn’t already. He’s got a childish ass outlook on this, and him stuck inside a place like Teufort is absolutely NOT GOOD. (Love Teufort but it’s the shittiest map. Also my favorite though.)

Maynards design had me frothing at the mouth, I’m just gonna say that straight up. He didn’t even do nothin outwardly he just kind of went along, which- yeah I guess let your creepy younger brother tourture that poor twink. He really does give off the vibe of a man disconnected, Medics whole bit about strangling him was out of left field but necessity. That scene in particular made me feral.

It showed us what I imagine to be an anomaly in the loop correcting itself, but therefore making the entity more aggressive, the entity in question Fritz. That whole scenes cinematography is brilliant.

Now I get on to my absolute favorite character ever.

Fucking soldier.

Never thought that someone could do such a damn good job emulating Rick may but FUCK did they. The lower, and more stark tone to the character made his wacky lines way funnier: it shows someone who seems incompetent being truly skilled at what they do. Surviving. While his methods are ridiculous it’s his leaps of faith that save him.

With bat out of fucking hell sniper he showed that he doesn’t like to give mercy. He shows a side that would make him antagonistic. But throughout the whole film he shows nothing aside from compassion, even towards the people he barley knows. That elevator scene says it all to me. He has reason to be suspicious but through that he chooses to be kind. It sunk my heart seeing the warfeild scene, it was quiet in a way. It was bleak and chaotic but he seemed perfectly fine to be there for just a moment.

Jane lost… a lot. In this film. He lost his coworker to the pits of an evil fucking loop. He lost a friend in Demo when Demo froze. (That scene broke me btw.) He lost dignity and connection and hope. And afterwards he looked so… dead? He won.

He escaped but what was the cost in the end? The loop continued on. His blank stare shared with medic and the attempt to blow him and the venue itself up over spies inaccurate details really shows his need for the truth. This film helped me out a lot with characterizing Solly in the future he’s honestly a darling.

On the topic of the loop and the way they constructed it holy shit. Those beginning shots were so so affective at building the atmosphere. I thought it’d be found footage till the end but NO, it just set up the mood and shit RAGGH

[murdcrofcrows]

stats • pinterest • connections

full name: yusuf ronaldo nasir nicknames: joe, joey, yu, yusie, doc gender / pronouns: cis man, he/him age & birthday: 48, july 10th occupation: psychologist & self-employed counselor, le dedale clinque affiliation: civilian orientation & status: demisexual - kinsey scale 5, single strengths: kind, selfless, caring, friendly, helpful weaknesses: pushy, nosy, guarded, trust issues

diving deeper -

*     ◟    :    〔  mahershala ali ,      cis man   +   he/him    〕     YUSUF NASIR ,      some say you’re a  FORTY EIGHT YEARS OLD  lost soul among the neon lights.      known for being both  KIND and PUSHY ,  one can’t help but think of  CALL YOUR MOM  by   NOAH KAHAN  when you walk by.    are you still a   PSYCHOLOGIST at   LE DEDALE CLINQUE,     even with your reputation as THE HELPING HAND?   i think we’ll be seeing more of you and A NOTEBOOK AND PEN TO JOT DOWN THOUGHTS DURING SESSIONS INSTEAD OF A TABLET, ALWAYS REMEMBERING YOUR NAME EVEN IF YOU ONLY MET ONCE, THOUGHTFUL QUIPS AND UPLIFTING SAYINGS ,    although we can’t help but think of SEAN MAGUIRE (GOOD WILL HUNTING), TED LASSO (TED LASSO), CHRIS TRAEGER (PARKS & RECREATION) whenever we see you down these rainy streets.

BACKGROUND.

tw: bullying, neglect

born in são paulo to adriana ramos, one of the oldest in a large family of mixed matched siblings. atif nasir wasn't around for long, pushed away by his mother before he had a chance to know he was a father let alone be one. yusuf wouldn't know much about him until later.

the house he grew up in was small or maybe it was too small for all of the people inside it. yusuf used to see other families and wonder if it would've felt less cramped if there was more love between them, if there was more warmth circling through the air. instead, all he remembers is struggle and frustration and feeling small in the shadows of everyone who had more than they did.

a lot of his younger years were spent trying to fix things, make things better, and feeling guilty when he failed. he was underestimated by many, bullied for choosing to be positive or kind. he found little to no comfort when he got home. everything constantly felt like a struggle just to survive, fighting against each other just to get a millimeter ahead. he did try to form some kind of relationship with all of them, even if it was never close.

this is what prompted him to seek out his father at the age of twelve and start building a relationship with him. the bond was strong enough that he invited yusuf to come stay with him in upstate new york permanently when he was around fifteen years old and change his last name to his father's. though he never forgot his roots, nor what his experiences were before he left.

he learned a couple things between his two childhood homes that stuck with him. just because one struggle is taken away, that didn't mean it was going to get easier. his basic needs were met but he still had to adapt to a new culture, and without the overwhelming need to struggle to survive against cruel people and having little money - he now had to find who he was as a person, which came with its own challenges. yusuf refused to succumb to the cruelty of the world, or conform for the benefit of fitting in. this did however leave him feeling alone no matter what home he lived in.

both his own struggle and watching others struggle is what inspired yusuf to go into the field of social work and psychology when he graduated high school. he didn't want other people to feel alone when they were struggling, no matter what the situation may be that they're struggling with. very early on he found out how awful it felt to feel alone when you're sad or down and just how dark that place can get without someone there to understand and listen or shed some light into the darkness. sometimes people just need someone to believe in them and yusuf set out to be that person whenever he could be.

in college is where he solidified who he was and wanted to be. he dated, went to the few parties he got invited to ( they were fun just not his main jam ), volunteered, and studied his ass off. upon graduating he went into social work while working on his doctorate in psychology. the work was sometimes thankless and while times got worse in the world, the case loads got bigger and bigger. he never once minded though and took pleasure in making a difference one person at a time.

eventually he was requested to go work at le dedale clinque and after denying it the first time, yusuf found out that it was not a request and if he did not take the position there he would no longer be able to work in his current position either. he tries to continue helping people in his new position while still following protocols put in place. to make up for the fulfillment he previously got in his career, he volunteers as a homeless advocate, leads group and individual sessions in incarceration facilities, and counsels people through his personal non-profit either on a sliding fee scale or for free depending on the individuals financial means.

all in all he continues to find fulfillment in his personal and professional life, sometimes still struggling with feeling alone in a world that continues to become increasingly darker by the day. yusuf does his best to hide his own struggles with the world to be a beacon of hope for anyone who crosses his path.

QUICK CONNECTIONS.

clients

best friend

college friends

people he can be positive energy for

found family

past or current romantic interests

someone trying to corrupt him

someone taking advantage of his kindness

co-workers

other volunteers or counselors that work with or for him

HEADCANONS.

enjoys puns and "dad jokes" a lot - has several, what would be deemed kid jokes or pun, books on the shelf alongside psychology and self help novels.

tries to read a book a week, doesn't matter if it's fiction or non-fiction. he's been doing this since he was around ten or eleven years old.

doesn't believe in good and evil people, only actions. he thinks everyone is redeemable and just because something is illegal it doesn't necessarily mean it's bad in the grand scheme of things. evil is not a diagnosis.

more to be added.

[gnattyplayssims]

1949 Pt2 - Sofia's Deciever

TW//Assault

Winter had settled in Copperdale, but despite the cold Hezekiah and Anabelle often enjoyed the occasional sneakaway. "We should get back."

Kye groaned, "Let them cook their own dinner."

"You're supposed to be preparing for your dad talk with Mathias."

Hezekiah and Anabelle returned from the lakeside gazebo. Mathias joined them for dinner and then he and Kye had a talk.

"Aren't you cold?"

"No. How did the talk go?"

"Eh, Just the typical dad stuff. I just told him how amazing you were and now we're solid."

"What 'typical dad stuff'?"

"You know like, 'what are your intentions with my daughter?' 'I got a shotgun in the closet if you hurt her.' That kind of stuff."

"He doesn't have a shotgun."

"They usually don't."

"But he said yes?" Mathias shrugged, "I guess we're official now"

He took a step toward her and her heart raced as he planted his hand on the fence near her head, "You know, a lot of teens nowadays start woohooing when they go steady."

She twirled her butterfly ring with her thumb, "I...still want to wait. I like just making out with you."

He leaned closer, "Yeah? I like that too but usually those things are meant to lead to other things." He put his hand on her face tilting her face up towards him.

She pushed him away. "Are you crazy? My parents bedroom is right there. We could get caught!"

"Sounds thrilling."

He placed his hand on her hip and pulled her closer. "Relax, your parents were playing a game with Stefan. Your dad trusts me now...why don't you."

"I trust you...I'm just scared."

"Of what?"

"Won't it hurt?"

"Only for a moment and then," He pressed closer, "pure ecstasy."

He pushed her back against the fence again and for a moment she stopped breathing. He smirked, "You're a fool to think you don't want this."

"I do want it...I'm just not ready yet"

"It's not healthy to keep it all pent up." He leaned in closer and she lost her train of thought

Suddenly he stepped away from her. "Don't worry, I'd never actually do anything with your parents right here. Your dad might not have a gun but I've seen him angry, I'd rather not have that chat."

Sofia nodded.

"How bout we go to the Carnaval again this weekend.

"Okay."

That weekend Kye and Anabelle sat out on the water watching the lights from the Carnaval. "I'm surprised you said yes."

"Me too. But she's your daughter. She'll only be more determined if we say no."

"She'll have her heart broken."

"Yep and we'll be here when she does."

She wrapped her arm around him and looked into his eyes. "When'd you get so wise?"

"If I recall, It was about the time you shattered my heart into a million pieces."

"Which time."

"Hmm I forget. Sofia's a Mizrahi, a broken heart won't destroy her and she won't be alone"

Hezekiah was right about one thing, Sofia was strong but that night would set her on a path that would test her Mizrahi resiliance.

"I'm so glad we're finally getting to come here"

"Is there something specific you wanted to try?"

"The ferris wheel! I heard the view is stunning"

Mathias laughed. "Sure if you would rather look at the scenery."

"What do you mean?"

"The view may be stunning but that's not generally why people ride the ferris wheel."

She looked at him blankly.

"You know...private cart no way to get interrupted."

"Oh! I knew that!"

He bought the tickets at the booth and they headed onto the Ferris Wheel. The view was stunning and the makeout session didn't disappoint. Mathias was feeling pretty good by the time they got off the ride.

"Shall we get some ice cream next?"

"Yes please!"

They got some ice cream and Sofia insisted they ride the Love Carts but Mathias was bored. "Maybe you'll like the Haunted House, that's exciting." "I hate Haunted Houses. Let's skip it." "Well what else do you want to do?" "I know a nice private place around the corner."

He took her down an alley behind the Haunted House to a table tucked back near some sheds. "I'm so nervous."

"You don't have to be nervous. Like I said, it'll only hurt for a moment."

She nodded and touched his chest tentatively. "What if I'm not good at it?"

"Then we keep practicing." She nodded and finally got up the courage to lay her hand on his chest. "That's it, now move lower."

She hesitated and leaned forward. "Can I kiss you instead?"

He sighed, "Fine. But you better not chicken out on me."

"I won't. I promise."

He pulled her closer and she dipped down to kiss his neck. "What are you doing?"

"Kissing you."

"I don't know what that is but it's not kissing."

She tried harder but it just made him angry,

"Just stop you're ruining the mood."

"I'm sorry, I told you I'm nervous."

He tilted her head for a proper kiss but Sofia already felt humiliated. Her eye caught the ring on her finger and her father's words came back. She deserved better than this. She pictured her dad walking her down the aisle and knew Mathias couldn't be at the end

"We should stop"

Mathias flipped her onto the table angrily. "What do you mean stop? You promised you wouldn't chicken out. I don't like broken promises, Sofia"

"I'm sorry, I...I just don't think-"

"What? Do I not fit your perfect image?"

"You're scaring me"

"And you're really pissing me off"

Sofia tried to push him off her but he grabbed her and yanked her closer. "No, Sofia. Enough of your games. I'm not playing anymore. I've waited way to long to have you bail on my now."

"Mathias wait. Stop. Please."

But he was already tearing at her clothes.

"I leapt through so many hoops for you, even put on a show for your dad and it still wasn't enough for you. Well tonight I'm getting what's due me."

Terror paralyzed her, her mind shutting down as he kissed her brutally and then moved lower. She didn't remember much after that.

[samtran1022]

Life updates…

About every 6 months I reflect upon the titles of my life, the feels I’ve felt, the insight I’ve gained, and how these titles impact me and my headspace.

The theme of the second half of 2023 & what I’m seeking for/needing in my life: communion (ie, the sharing or exchanging of intimate thoughts and feelings, especially when the exchange is on a mental or spiritual level).

Life as a mom… PJ is about to turn three years old and LT just had his first birthday a couple months ago. Literally each day they get older, the better mom life gets. I feel mostly like myself, yet somehow a more actualized/evolved version. PJ still loves dinosaurs and has a budding obsession with monster trucks; he is entering his threenager phase, with very loud 15-20 minute emotional meltdowns. LT is walking and learning to do so much more on his own, he will often wedge himself to be as physically close to us as possible (ie, when we’re doing dishes, cooking on the stove, etc), he is more prone to crying when he doesn’t get his way (which still triggers me, yet I grit my teeth thru it and validate his emotions). Watching the two interact with each other has plenty of comedic content; naturally, they are as alike as they are different. PJ will independent play, Lucas will antagonize, and the conflict will usually be resolved with violence lol my goal is to teach them the tools to peacefully resolve conflict without the need for an adult to step in and referee every single battle. A task that will take many years, yet with consistency, dedication, and many… many deep breaths, I think we got this. Check again in 10-15 years lol the truth is, I believe that sometimes violence is the answer. Hence my goal to eventually put the two in whatever sports they request, whether that be dance, Muay Thai, or golf. Oh at this time, Lucas does seem highly attuned to basketball! He also is prone to hit his head a lot, so football seems a highly probable route as well, we shall see. My ultimate parenting goal is to have a secure relationship with each son, one where we can call each other as adults and make plans to see each other simply because we enjoy each others company. The older they get, the more I find I don’t have to push myself to seek out a sliver of joy.

Life as a wife… a lot of this may sound like waffle and that’s intentional, for I have learned not every issue needs to be unloaded for everyone to have an opinion on; my journey into marriage has provided the most difficult of life lessons with regard to the traits I initially lacked understanding on; from patience to discretion, security to safety, physical touch to body acceptance. Anything worth having is certainly worth putting in the work to achieve, which seems to bring about the fact hardship is necessary in any relationship. Considering the fact my parents were divorced when I was 3 years old should shed some light to my feels on marriage. Nearly 15 years into this relationship (8 of those married), I now hold a much more warm and trusting relationship to the institution of marriage. Life isn’t just about me; each and every single day, I make the choice to prioritize love and heart over ego and pride. Don’t get me wrong, there are still several times a week I want to snap about something that annoys the shit out of me lol yet I’ve found it’s in much less frequency than our early years and it’s much easier to either make a clear request of something that bothers me or recognize the pettiness of it and bite my tongue. From what has grown into the favorite romantic relationship of my life, I’ve had the opportunity to learn how to love heartbreak, as paradoxical as it sounds. Relationships aren’t JUST about communication in and of itself, it’s largely the nuance, the clarity and specificity of my observations and requests, the ability to own how I feel and recognize what needs are or are not being met. To deliver all the above with kindness and consideration is incredibly difficult, yet I’m fortunate to share the goal to improve communication with my partner. Fortunately I’ve never much cared for exclusivity, I do not absolutely care to always be right and have things my way. Perspective is everything, it’s unbelievably cool to have someone I look forward to spending time with, one that matches my energy to simultaneously support yet gently push, one that I constantly laugh with and express my appreciation towards. We just finished a 6 month round of marital therapy, I especially appreciate how our therapist was rooting for us to develop our own tools and solutions to address any issues, while also encouraging us to agree to disagree at times. Living with and loving your best friend can be weirdly beautiful.

Life as a corporate customer service rep… I’ve finally reached one of my life goals! I feel so fortunate to say I like my job; in this commodified world we live in, NGL this is quite the flex. I appreciate and enjoy speaking on my subject matter expertise, if y’all ever wanna know anything about Clinical Microbiology (ie E.coli, MRSA, UTI, sepsis, etc) just lemme talk for 5 minutes, see how much I compel you. I’ve lived a lot of my life in a career where I had the Sunday scaries, I was tied to a time clock and treated like a third grader. I can promise you overt monitoring does not seem warranted in many scenarios, work included. I am no stranger to the heaviness of a distrustful work environment, how it tarnishes your soul and crushes your spirit. No wonder it’s so easy for me to express gratitude when I sit in my own car (listening to my own music with climate control) on the way to a customer site, I don’t mind remoting in and assisting for a few hours, nor do I mind being in a hotel for a week to support a customer who has well surpassed their project timeline. The customer service component of the role holds the largest source of contention, yet I am persistent in building trust throughout my SoCal customer base, I’m okay with being patient. If it takes 5-15 years to build trust, that’s reasonable. Thems are the consequences of commodification, counteracting fear and anxiety with understanding and empathy. It might be a larger energy investment upfront, yet I’ve got hope it’ll pay off exponentially in the long run.

Life as a daughter… this might be where I’ve felt a large release of emotional baggage in the past few months. I chose to visit my mother when we went back home for LT’s first birthday, I felt like it was somehow my duty, to provide an opportunity for my mother to be a grandmother. I found being around my mother brought about such a large disparity of emotions; I finally saw outside myself, forcing any relationship (including mother-daughter) will inevitably spread me thin. I continue to say it again and again… I need the people I choose in my life to match my energy, I’m all about that balance yo. I’ve finally come to a level of acceptance; I used to say the words in therapy yet I was not fully intentional nor convinced of their conviction. I no longer yearn for relationships that aren’t there, I clearly see what I deserve, I can mourn the loss of what will not come to be because of others inability to change, grow, and take accountability.

Life as an individual… the time spent in my home town lead me to deactivate my Instagram. I just did it, no warning, which is surprising; I’m not often impulsive. As the months went on, I found a quietness in my mind and natural state of mindfulness. I’m sleeping better, haven’t had issues with insomnia or alcohol addiction, haven’t had as many body image issues nor am I often plagued by inadequacy demons. I’ve come to learn I am the type of person who seeks meaningful connection; IG likes, comments, and viewers were only providing a vapid infusion to my needs. Without constructive feedback, I was left to my own devices to fill in the blanks; it caused too much outside noise of discernment. The community I’ve been longing for has come together with the work I’ve put in to maintain contact (contradictory thanks to IG), from middle school to coworkers to mom friends in SoCal; I’m grateful for the incredible, beautifully complex folks who show up for me just as much as I show up for them, I appreciate how much we support each other from life issue to life issue. Otherwise, I have the same personal goals I’ve always had: lift 3x/week, walk 10k steps, bang out 10 body weight pull ups; diet has been a bit of a yo-yo cuz I knew I wanted to go full YOLO on vacation. I plan to reestablish my calorie deficit when we return home on my birthday, I’ve found a new love with ice baths and cold showers (especially helpful for recovery and any lingering pain, tension, or headaches) and I finished therapy with my third therapist. I keep thinking of reestablishing journaling, yet another goal for future Sam to keep in mind.

Life as a sister… is still a work in progress, and it’s intentionally last on this last. Here’s where baby steps and patience have been my best friends. Similar to the growth I’ve experienced as a daughter, I no longer yearn for what is not there. I can grieve what is lost and move toward acceptance of the present.

[lovely-oh-so-lovelyyui]

~ Kinda Outta Luck - Character trying to change their ways for their new s/o

Sai’rish

“She was bored, and beautiful and easily enamoured or cool and cut-throat”

Why should she?

No seriously let’s break it down, she has been alive for years longer than most people’s promises of love have lasted. She is beautiful, merciful, and attentive as a lover.

Yes, she enjoys companionship, she enjoys sharing and creating bonds with others, one of the things that have always plagued her is how some people stay frozen in a certain place in their stories, gathering dust, unable to escape.

She enjoys changing, yes. But not for another being. She reads old letters she wrote and smiles in fondness, of course, she does, there is no one she trusts more than herself.

The discovery of herself is something more capturing then all else.

The closest she has come to the belief in a higher being has been in the fact that she wakes up each day, from dusk to dawn what she does is for herself in the coming years and to cherish the person who she was. There is no one more trustworthy than her.

Not everyone will love her, but this does not mean she needs everyone to love her. She doesn’t think love is some big ever-changing thing.

It’s so obviously the small things, some people wear the same earnings every day, that is love, cherishing something, holding it close, ageing beside it. Love is found shoved into the small nooks of creation, and she enjoys discovering love.

If it suits her so be it, what a fascinating thing that all she can do is believe her s/o is on the same page as her, and continue to stand by their side.

She could try and change, and fix what others find disagreeable but it would be nothing more than trying to shed one’s skin and fit yourself into another.

Now, what could that accomplish aside from great amounts of discomfort, stumbling like a baby deer into this character you’ve set out to be?

Sarfaraz

“I am not attractive, so I made up for my lack of beauty with loud kindness and a forced jovial nature”

He just loves love, he likes how it makes him tingle, and his whole self becomes alive. He needs to love, he needs to be able to have a purpose. He likes the rose tints and the way it motivates him.

Breaking himself into pieces to become someone his new s/o can love isn’t really that alien.

He knows he is flawed, he’s aware of how demanding he can be but it’s addictive to him. Which is why he also knows he is the problem.

He learns how to do all these things for his s/o. If they like art, he makes them little sketches of them, if they like certain books he piles them up on his desk from the library, if they have a favourite dish he makes batches of said food and shares the food to see how their face lights up.

But he never discloses how long it took him to make a sketch he was satisfied with, how many rubbed-out sketches decorated his books, or how many pieces of paper were thrown away in the process. He tries to read books and he tries to listen to music, but he learns he cannot. There is a heaviness in his limbs he cannot erase, he reads the wiki summaries, makes annotations, remembers their smile and continues working into the night. He tries to force interest but he cannot because he is in love with an ideal.

And it makes him hollow and so miserable; he wants to love, he wants to prove he isn’t completely rotten. He knows these people deserve something genuine, something that is warm and pure. They’re all so astounding he knows they will find people that are competent and aren’t compliant to the voices in their heads. But he hopes they remember the stepping stone that is him.

So he is enamoured by another, and envy turns into awe, in his mission to become a loving human being he chases those he idealises and he realises he is a bad person. He will give whatever they ask, aside from himself. Those pieces of his heart stay safely tucked in the crumbled tear-stained tissues of the past.

He will not hand over any part of himself but he vows to service his s/o for whatever they need.

He says he stopped smoking, so he buys a new cologne to cover the scent of smoke, they don’t like his glasses, he gets bruises from the walls he didn’t see that week, and they wish he took more care of himself, he tells them about how he’s started doing these self - help guides, he spends more hours deciphering his ceilings.

He lies, he is this bigger than life’s presence. He needs to be everything they need lest they leave.

He is too overbearing, so he stops looking for love.

All he needs is being wanted, being needed, he doesn’t care if the touches make him nauseous, if he prays to his God, begging weeping till his voice is sore to fix him.

If he can change himself just right. If he can find the combination that works. He too can be loved.

[goji-pilled]

MK-S: I just had a thought about Ranni and why she chose to kill Godwyn the Golden on the Night of the Black Knives. Pure speculation, but I’m looking for a little conversation, and I’m curious about your thoughts on this interpretation, given your attachment to Ranni’s character. (Plus, you may enlighten me to something I didn’t know, or an interpretation I had not considered.):

To cut her bond to the Two Fingers, Ranni needed to sever the bond between her soul and her flesh, and thus stole a fragment of the Rune of Death. However, Death likes to have things complete, so if she wanted to kill her body and keep her soul alive, she needed to also offer Death a soul to kill with a body that would be left alive. Now, the thought I just had may just be a part of why she chose him and not some random noble; Assuming she didn’t know Radagon and Marika were the same person, and if she was unaware of Marika’s Omen Twins, then Godwyn was the only powerful person, a demigod spawn of Marika, and thus the only possible equal to her that (as far as she knew in the conditions described) wasn’t related to her by blood. If she harbored no love for the Golden Order, she could have viewed this as a blow against Marika, while sparing her brothers and her half-siblings. (This would be a tragedy in its own right; thinking she wasn’t harming her blood family.)

(Side-idea; I wonder if Ranni thought that killing Godwyn in Soul Alone would have just been the equivalent of him being brain dead? I recall some blamed her for Those Who Live In Death, but I wonder if their formation was just as much a surprise to her as to everyone else…Oh, there’s an interesting question: Did those skeletons show up before, during, or after the Shattering?)

Come to think of it, a LOT of conflict in Elden Ring tends to be the way each “batch” of kids fight against each other. At least two thirds of Carian kids rebelling against the Golden Order, Miquella and Malenia against that last third, Morgott against all listed so far, and then Mogh against Miquella, brief though it may have been before more blatant spoilers.

Probably drove Marika mad; she wanted a world in which her loved ones could not be harmed, only for her beloved children to start killing each other if not somehow finding worse fates for one another.

Anyways, that’s all for my ramblings. Curious what you think of these ideas, or if they made you come up with anything else while thinking things over. Good day to you.

i mean thats pretty much how i had assumed things were. im not sure if there is anything i game that sheds light on that, but way i see it the night of black knives was a ritual first and foremost, the kind that's like "an eye for an eye", something for another thing of equal value.

and i also always assumed godwyn was the target most likely because he is a demigod just like ranni, and a powerful one at that if he was capable of defeating fortissax. and, this is a bit less important but adds to the equal for equal thing, ranni most definitely was powerful back then if her being able to oneshot the tarnished no matter what, in a seemingly weaker state than her original body is anything to go by.

so like. one powerful demigod child of a queen for another powerful demigod child of a queen.

+on one hand rykard couldn't have been a canidate because he was in on it and the literal failsafe meant to challenge the maliketh if things go wrong.

but i also think he nor radahn could have been canidates for the night of black knives regardless simply because ranni loves them too much. like it's easy to figure out those three deeply cared for another. and ranni, regardless of how frosty she may appear, is a sentimental person that loves hard and so much and it's obvious by the way she talks about iji and blaidd, by the way she speaks with us, the way she protects rennala, the way she trusted rykard to, again, challenge maliketh, etc. etc.

(silly silly carians and their big hearts so full of love... i love them and i will not shut up about this)

also. i doubt ranni could've predicted godwyn's death (in soul) to have this kind of consequences with the death root that reaches all the way to the land of shadow... like im sure she thought something will happen but this? yeah i dont think so.

that all being said... with the dlc its clear marika had actually good intentions with the golden order to a certain degree (which means the genocide of the hornsent is not part of the good intention) as we know for certain marika loved and adored messmer, her precious firstborn son to the point she only ever made blessings just for him, tried to soothe his curse just for him.

AND with her braid found in the shaman village its easy to piece together that part of the original intention was to protect her family, to give them a life graced by gold... unfortunatly no matter what marika had intended, it clearly didn't come to fruition as she hoped.

marika in general is so fascinating though because she sort of feels like a mix of ranni and miquella's paths for godhood, or perhaps it'd be more accurate to say that her children both represent different parts of her? idk its soon 4am and explaining this would be too rambly and this is most likely already not coherrent but dukadywks yeah.