#which like!! octopus also fits jay BUT

[spinjitsuburst]

I’m so sleepy that I started rambling to one of my not-Ninjago friends about jay and bird symbolism. Do you know how much bird symbolism surrounds this man. There’s so much. So much bird stuff. Why is his animal a kraken and not a bird? Forever a mystery.

[merklins]

Fine. The Furry Roster, part 1 of however many parts it takes: All the Gordons are cephalopods. Reasoning: Freeman's deep sea thing + Swap's tentacles + Doc is strange and bizarre + Freeman compares Loverboy to a cuttlefish in Act 1 + Literal Actual Octopus "Gordon". Freeman/Storyteller: Architeuthis/Giant Squid Swap/Overlord: Vampire Squid (they're really weird AND the vampire thing) Doc/Hypnos: Firefly Squid (those fuckers GLOW) Player/Power Trip: Blue-Ringed Octopus (chill but also dangerous) Gordon B/Leading Light: Cuttlefish Seven/Last Resort Gordon: Giant Pacific Octopus Worldstop crew: Malcom Challender: Unicorn (something something his ability to manipulate Source seemed magical to the AI? Really it's just because our Malcom fictive has a ponysona but no actual fursona) Darnold: Pitbull (seen as aggressive but tend to be sweethearts; very loyal) Benrey/"Forzen": Blue dragon sea slug / garden snail (Benrey is a slug, but his Forzen disguise is quite literally him retreating into his shell) Y2KVR crew: Benrey (also Loveletters Benrey): Heterometris spinifer/Giant blue scorpion (for obvious reasons + they're blue) Spork (also Valentine): African Gray Parrot (They're smart as FUCK) Coomer/Lovetap: Mantis shrimp Bubby/Dr. Feelgood: Fire salamander Forzen/DJ Heartbeat: Mongolian death worm (this is not a real animal, however, they are supposedly attracted by rhythmic thumping similar to a heavy bass beat) Darnold/Smooth Operator: Cinnabar chanterelle (yes, the mushroom. Consider the emails to be similar to the mycelial network. I know this is getting weird. It will get weirder.) Tommy/I Don't Remember His Lovecore Name: Common crow The Restrictor: Raven (Half-Life G-Man is associated with ravens sometimes)

More will come soon.

"blackmailbutler asked:

Furry Roster Part 2 Of Something:

Admins: Admin C: Tri-color Monitor Lizard G-Man: Komodo Dragon Da Boss: Blue Poison Dart Frog Admin F: Blue jay (Like a blue jay, most of his aggression is a bluff; he's loud and abrasive, but doesn't actually want to fight) Admin P: Praying Mantis (green and can sort of punch things) Admin Darnold (he is mentioned one time in Act 1): Clownfish (orange + Darnold is mentioned to have been taking care of Joshua, which made us think of Finding Nemo because of the whole parental figure thing? Mostly going on vibes because we know nothing of him.)

Mad Science Team: Sleepless: Canada Goose (Acts like an asshole most of the time + Canada + probably loud as fuck) Harold: Protogen (it's MY furry AU and *I* get to choose the species. AND Protogens are COOL) Electrobubby: Electric eel (duh) Politerey: Duck (mostly because we are a Benrey and Forzen siblings truther) Project Coolatta: Lace Monitor Lizard The Old Man: Lace Monitor Lizard (they're monitors to call back to a certain other father-son duo, but unlike GVRV and C, they're the same species to represent them NOT being estranged)

Merch Team/The Last Resort: The Party Pontiff: Mantis shrimp Wheels: Okay so you know how people make anthro planes? That but a Greyhound bus. Yes he still drives an actual bus. I told you last ask that it'd get weirder! Tommy Bahama: Marine iguana (He does the beach tour IIRC. Plus I wanted him to be a lizard like some of the other Tommies.) Dr. Perky: Golden orbweaver (laser grid = spiderwebs, plus golden/orange color scheme) The Bellhop: Tropical leatherleaf slug (Vibes only. Plus he can retract one of his eyestalks to fit the one-eyed thing.)

???: Barney Calhoun: Harbor Seal Alyx Vance: Leopard/Deer (based on our pre-existing furry!Alyx. Eli is a deer, and she wears a little headband with some of his shed antlers on it.) Capital M: Changeling (think MLP. What do you mean that's just the ponysona that I got assigned by the system. I don't know what you're talking about.)"

----

me time answer time (:

OH MY YOU ACTUALLY DID IT. YOU ACTUALLY HAD THEM ALL. AND!! THEY'RE ALL SO AWESOME TOO?? I don't know much about the lizard selections for the Coolattas BUT!! Absolutely AGREED on the Gordons being cephalopods that is SO SO COOL. The bright colored rings of the blue ringed octopus on Player and Power Trip? OHHH THAT'S EPIC.Love the sea slug snail thing you have going for worldstop benrey. YES!! Attention for the worldstop benrey!! Love that guy. cherish that guy. AND Y2KVR FORZEN AS THE WOOORM. THAT! IS! SUCH A COOL WAY OF TYING IN MUSIC TO CREATURES. AND!! Same goes for Y2KVR Darnold! Because OH! MY! GOD! MUSHROOM MYCELIAL NETWORK FOR THE EMAILS YES YES YES THAT!! IS AWESOME. love mushrooms (: kicking my legs and giggling DUDE!! You have so much good stuff here HOW AM I TO SAY STUFF AT IT ALL? Literally ALLLL of these are SUCH! GOOD! CHOICES! I could be here forever. Mad Science Harold as a Protogen, YIPPEE! Forzen and Benrey connections? ALWAYS welcome! WHEELS. AS A BUS FURRY. /VPOS. Dr Perky as an orb weaver I LOVE ORBWEAVERS YES YES YES I SEE THE VISION AND IT IS WONDERFUL. And you certainly covered your bases huh? THE MCDONALDS WORKERS FROM HLVRV. AS FURRYS. IN! MY! INBOX!! /pos

and of course. ponysona ponys mlp hlvrv on the merklins tumblr ONCE AGAIN!! A lovely selection by the way changelings are so epic and cool always <3

THANK YOU FOR SHARING. THE. THIS!! SO EPIC AND COOL LOVE YOUR IDEAS THIS IS WONDERFUL AND TREASURED! This list spinning forever in the thoughts now (:

[dracolunae]

Hey, i was wondering if you could give some tips on how to write image IDs? I've been starting to add them to the alt text of my image selfposts but i feel like im not doing them properly and since you have the update accounts and write them often i thought that you could give some good advice about it Also here's some other halloween candy for you lmao

[Image ID:

A photo of a long white ceramic serving plate topped with slices of cake with a light and dark swirled pattern in the cross section. The slices are laid out like tipped over dominos bricks.

End ID]

Yay! Marmorkuchen!

But about image IDs. I tend to go from big to small in the description. Describe the most banel basic ass shit first, like “Is this a photo, is it art, if so what kind? Digital? Photograph or scan of a manual drawing? Is this an infographic?” From then you can describe the general topics, themes and layout of whatever it is you’re describing. You also have to consider whether you’re writing this ID for people who are familiar with the contents (fanart) or if it’s gonna be for people who don’t. Deciding the level of detail is a personal choice but mostly influenced by what amount of detail is necessary for this to be a functional image ID. You wouldn’t describe the font that something is written in unless it matters for example!

You can also decide what writing style best fits the ID. i tend to write full, dense sentences to get as much info in without the ID running too long but I also write in full sentences and following grammar rules. Sometimes a note taking style works better if there’s lots of disjointed things you can’t fit well into nice sentences!

And if you’re describing multiple things or a series of things in one post you can describe key elements in more detail once and then refer to them more simply for the rest of the ID!

I normally avoid putting IDs in alt text because they can be harder to access for people and have a much shorter character limit. Also try to always surround your ID with some form of ID start and end indicators and keep the ID, if in the body of the text, as close to the image as possible!

As an example, say you’re got a 4 panel comic, I’d describe it like this (gonna make smth up as an example) if I was writing a description for an audience who isn’t necessarily super familiar with the material.

[Image ID:

A 4 panel comic of a made up scene in Just Roll With It Riptide. It is drawn digitally and fully coloured. The scene takes place on a ship, presumably the one the show is set on, called the Albatross.

Panel One: Jay, a woman with long ginger hair wearing a blue jacket over a white blouse, catches Gillion, a turquoise skinned Triton with green hair, fish fins and wearing a black sleeveless turtleneck shirt, sneaking around the ship. Gillion is carrying a brown sack over his shoulder and sneaking. A speech bubble from Jay reads: “Gillion, what are you doing?”

Panel 2: Gillion is turned towards Jay, looking sheepish. You can see that the bag he’s carrying is filled with gold, which is leaking a little trail of coins behind him. Now that you can see Gillion’s entire body you can see he also has a tail and a flask of water tied around his waist, containing a small cute pink frog-octopus hybrid, which is know as Pretzel. Gillion: “Nothing Jay! I am merely, uh, relieving the ship of an unnecessary load so we can sail faster!”

Panel 3: Jay and Gillion stare at each other, Jay is unimpressed. Pretzel, peaking out of the flask at Gillion’s hip, starts collecting coins from where they leak out of the bag. Jay: “Gillion if you throw any more gold overboard as taxes I’m throwing you overboard to lighten our load.” “You” is written in italics for emphasis.

Panel 4: Gillion starts sprinting towards the edge of the ship, indicated through a running pose and blur lines, with Jay giving chase. Her eyes are in glowing red and a targeting reticule is superimposed over one of her eyes, as though she was locking in on her target (Gillion). A stream of gold sprays everywhere from the speed of the chase and Pretzel goes flying with it.

End ID]

[aqua2fana]

Batfam Daemon Headcanons

Heavily inspired by breezy-cheezy’s Batfam daemon au that I super love and agree with

But alternatively,

Bruce Wayne: 100% agree he has a Sooty Owl and love the name Raimunde (I also low key headcanon that Owlman, an evil alternate Bruce, has a Vampire Bat).

Dick Grayson: Definitely does have a white faced capuchin and I love the name Luminima.

Jason Todd: Okay as much as I love him having a Rottweiler because Scary Dog privilege, I also think dogs aren’t rebellious enough for Jason even if it is a breed stereotyped to be owned by drug lords and think a Wolverine is also super valid. Sanadora is an awesome name.

Tim Drake: I honestly don’t see enough daemons that are sea creatures and usually for me I only headcanon people as having sea creatures as a last resort when I’ve exhausted every land animal I can think of until I find one that’s pretty close and then try to find the sea creature equivalent for the sake of accuracy. I think an Octopus fits him sooooo well but I also can’t ignore how well a Robin fits him. I took Latin for years and definitely agree Sapheredis is exactly the type of thing his parents would have named his soul.

Damian Wayne: Egyptian Mau is perfect could not have done better myself. Alexandria as a reference to the library of Alexandria is iconic.

Cassandra Cain: Spotted Eagle Ray is an amazing take I honestly would have given her a bat of some kind because I view them as being very intuitive and emotional but Rays give me a similar and more quiet, distant, deadly, beautiful vibe that fits Cass too well for words. Tomotsuki as a name is also beautiful.

Stephanie Brown: love that she has a Black Rat named Liberosique but also think some type of Jay would fit her, something with less color than a blue jay though as a reflection of her slight awkwardness and insecurities.

Barbara Gordon: Idk about Barbara having a Red King Crab and couldn’t find too much info on them other than that they are very social and I’ve always pictured crabs as defensive you know. All the other headcanons by breezy-cheesy have been pretty spot on though so I’m gonna trust that there’s probably something I’m missing about the crab but also, consider, the Caracara. Personally I would change the name from Aidan to Atesh which has the same meaning and sounds a little more fantasy but only because I literally have a coworker named Aidan.

Duke Thomas: Przewalski’s Horse is perfect but I would have made Rita short for Faridah which means “pearl” just like Rita does but also has the meanings of “unique” and “matchless.”

Alfred Pennyworth: Alfred having a huge white Tibetan Mastiff is sooooo cool I love that for him but I would have called her Jemima just because lol.

My other DC daemon posts: 1 and 2

[cakesexuality]

who is ur fave squishmallow :0

I think it might be Brock the bulldog?? I don't have a lot of Squishes but I have the original version of Brock and I really want all the versions I've seen of him where he's an astronaut or where he's working out or where he's a BACKPACK... growing up, I had a pet bulldog with kinda similar colouring to Brock (fawn and white with a patch around one eye, but Oscar had a small amount of black and brown on his face too), and then me being lowkey obsessed with Brock wanting to be a nurse when he grows up is probably some sort of trauma response but STILL

I also have Catarina the cat, she was my first one and she's pink which is my favourite colour as well as black and I grew up with black cats, plus her favourite holiday is Halloween which is MY favourite holiday too!! And I have the Valentine's version of Violet the octopus (just Violet but with lil hearts embroidered on her belly) and I got Valentine's versions of Niema the narwhal and Jayda the jellyfish for my best friends at the same time (Niema for my friend who loves unicorns and narwhals and Jayda's tag says she makes costumes so she went to my friend who does cosplay and took fashion in college)... Violet is one of the small ones so she comes to medical appointments sometimes bc she fits nicely in my purse

Other ones that I really like are Archie the axolotl bc he knows sign language, Nathan the cat bc he looks like my real cat, Babs the blue jay just bc he's cute, Cassie the cat bc she's a nurse, Danielle the bulldog bc she's a bulldog, Charisma the cat bc she's a livestreamer and wears a bow, Bobby the bunny bc they're non-binary, and Dawn the deer bc she's a trans girl icon

Fun fact: I once almost bought Dawn for my friend who's trans and likes deer, I found a big one of Dawn at Marshall's and walked around with her in my cart like she was a child so I could make my decision but ultimately put her back

[hellopopculture]

Top 20 Wrestlers of 2021 (Part 3)

Description: 2021 was one of the strangest years in recent memory as far as Pro Wrestling is concerned. The pandemic era in general has seen a lot of changes and to a certain degree the business and the products produced in it have not completely gotten back to normal. If you had told me in 2019 we would have Bryan Danielson & CM Punk at the same company and a heel Roman Reigns would be one of the most over guys in the WWE, I would've argued it down, I wouldn't have been able to fathom it but here we are.

14. Sammy Guevara-In 2021, Sammy became the 2nd of the 4 pillars to win a championship. The same TNT Championship that Darby Allin (another of the 4 pillars) won from Cody Rhodes. That also made him the only member of the Inner Circle to win a championship beside Jericho himself. He's had some amazing bouts with the likes of Bobby Fish & Jay Lethal but ultimately his reign was cut short by Cody Rhodes at the close of the year. Sammy is one of the best high flyers in the company. For people who like that style of wrestling but don't like "spots for the sake of spots" or the lack of ring psychology that some times comes with it, Sammy is one of those that can be acrobatic but not waste any movement. Everything he does in the context of the match is for a reason. He's been putting on great matches since AEW started and it’s fitting that he would clash with Cody again because they had the first match in Dynamite history but with TNT kind of being a "Television Title", I think he's perfect to carry it because he's a "must-see" performer. As we speak he won his title back from Cody and later dropped it to Scorpio Sky, but I think the moment he beat Miro for it initially put him right where he needed to be. The young boy from The Inner Circle was spreading his wings.

13. Darby Allin-With Each passing year, Darby Allin continues to get more and more over as a babyface. His size and his disregard for his own well-being in the context of the match makes him a natural underdog. He may not be in the same class physically as many of his opponents but he's willing to go places his opponents aren't willing to, to win the match. I think that's what endears him to the AEW audience. He has always seemed to be the exact anti-thesis to MJF who is more of a "only fight if I have to; i'm the most important thing here" type of character. CM Punk saw that in Darby when he arrived in AEW and so did Sting, who would become his manager.

Darby had a busy 2021 as it started with him as TNT Champion which carried over from 2020. He scored some notable defeats over the likes of Brian Cage, Scorpio Sky, John Silver, Preston Vance & Jungle Boy but his reign would be cut off by Miro in the Spring at Double or Nothing.

CM Punk came back to Pro Wrestling on Rampage in August and picked Darby as his opponent for All Out. Punk seems to have taken interest in him because of their similarities and allied with him after their match. Out of the 4 pillars, he and MJF seem to have grown the most over a short period of time and had the most success, and I imagine 2022 is going to be a bigger year.

12. Jonathan Gresham-"The Octopus", since making Ring of Honor his home in 2017, has become part of the "Best in the World" conversation. He's not at the very head of it but he's definitely on the radar. He was kind of the face of the "ROH Pure Tournament" in 2020 so nobody was surprised when he won it. He was already a holding the tag team titles with Jay Lethal so winning the Pure title made him a double champion. Gresham, along with Rhett Titus, Tracy Williams, and of course, Jay Lethal formed a faction called "The Foundation", but as Ring of Honor got ready to close it's doors, he would find himself across from Lethal challenging for the Ring of Honor World Championship.

Gresham is the current ROH World Champion and he continues to defend that title in promotions like Impact & GCW. He also has his own promotion called Terminus where alot of his co-workers from ROH perform while the company is on hiatus. Ring of Honor has a lot of work to do when they return but I think they are safe with him taking over for Lethal as the face of the company. Jay Lethal moved on and signed with AEW.

11. WALTER/Gunther-WALTER should actually be higher on this list but he's built most of his career at WWE on a brand that pretty much nobody watches. Even WWE's diehard fans, for the most part completely ignore it unless it's for their bigger matches and their rare Takeover events. WALTER was one of only four NXT UK Champions. He held the title for a whopping 870 days, which is unheard of for a reign in this era of Pro Wrestling and especially at WWE. He had incredible matches with the likes of Ilja Dragonov, A-Kid, Tommaso Ciampa, and Rampage Brown but he just hasn't been able to garner the attention that other dominant champions receive.

He was moved to NXT 2.0 and had his name changed after almost his entire Imperium stable was released from the company and he would later turn up on Smackdown in 2022. For now what they can't take away from him was his historic reign as NXT UK Champion and throwing that brand on his back. While he may not have been mentioned in the same circles as some of the bigger stars in the company, he is one of the few things that people who didn't watch NXT UK would tune in from time to time for.

[dustyhyena]

“i love them sm and will talk about them forever if enabled” this is me enabling u to talk about your agents 👁👁

AHHHH no duuude youre gonna open pandora’s box bro!!!!!!

OK NO BUT FR... thank u for enabling me im about to infodump 

i dont know exactly what to say abt them but i will drop some random facts about them!

august (agent 3, she/they)-

- tries really hard to be the edgy loner type but is one of the biggest nerds out there. she’s still reserved but will geek out about old video games

- on top of that she’s really good at math somehow? was an honors student and juggling agent duties on top of that was nightmarish so she had to take a break. it led to some issues...

- theyre a firefly squid! the spots on their tentacles glow brighter than most inklings and also glow depending on the intensity of their mood

- they make music sometimes and has tried to keep it a secret from everyone but unfortunately for them, riptide is a nosy little shit and found out

- speaking of riptide, she and august met earlier on and riptide didnt know that august was a secret agent until after the events of kamabo!

- her default ink color used to be more of a blood-orange to fit her name

- she ventures back down to kamabo a lot to find a bunch of lost trinkets. she’s a little interested in archeology. (by archeology i mean a bunch of ancient human relics like old recovered music and technology)

- her favorite game is earthbound im not projecting im not projec

- between her and riptide she’s supposed to be the sensible one but she’s literally dumbass #2

riptide (agent 4, she/her)-

- doubles as my inksona (which im debating on changing, but i project onto her the most)! shes dumbass and im dumbass

- has a little brother named calder who she teaches how to skate. insists that he call her “cousin/instructor throckmorton” during their lessons

- she’s the kind of squid that needs people but is also afraid of people at the same time? if that makes sense.

- she’s actually pretty self concious about herself and her skills but tries not to think abt it too much

- her favorite color used to be orange! her tentacles were orange and a lot longer when she was a kid

- SHE LOVES FROGS. frogs are her favorite animal and holding one brings her instant serotonin. (when august found out about this she immedaitely showed her mother 3 and riptide lost her MIND)

- she has a pet nudibranch who she and her brother named “nacho” from a young age (i like to think in this universe, nudibranches/sea slugs function the same as dogs) and this is what nacho looks like

jay (agent 8, she/her)

- her personality is kind of a work in progress bc theres a lot i want her to be but shes usually the soft-spoken type (unless something gets her excited)

- SHE LOVES BIRDS. birds are how she chose her name! she just enjoys all the different calls and colors they all have, and how they were able to survive the rising sea levels.

- she’s a mix between the pacific reef octopus and the mimic octopus! she uses her pacific reef abilities to sometimes camoflauge with her surroundings when she feels really threatened. she has the lines on her tentacles a mimic octopus does but its mostly just for show. the most she can do is create a faux inkling mask (like the line that inklings have on the bridge of their noses)

- and by that extension SHE LOVES ANIMALS. jay’s usually the sensible and level-headed type, but that flies out of the window whenever she sees a cute sea bunny or bird.

- if you give her some sort of task, jay’s the kind of octoling who won’t stop until she’s sure it’s completed. she’ll overwork herself if given the chance

- i love the idea of her actually getting really into warrior cats and august (who used to be really into it when they were a little kid) is trying everything in their power not to look like a nerd in front of their crush so jay’s like “hey have you heard about this book?” and august is just like “whos bramblestar haha that’s a dumb name for a leader” completely unprompted

shep (agent 8... 2! (also jokingly called agent 9), he/him)

- he’s the oldest of the agents and is somehow the most AND least responsible

- he’s a dumbo octoling! his ears are just a little floppier and are more sensitive to sound.

- i havent shown him here yet, which is a crime, but he’s the most charismatic and outgoing of all three of the agents. sort of the older brother friend-type. he’s very busy though so he’s usually around like 60% of the time. he’s on a team!

- he can be a little overbearing at times but he’ll back off when you tell him to!

- absolutely curious about EVERYTHING

- he got his left arm fucked up from a sanitization incident down in kamabo. it didn’t affect him too bad but it made it so he couldn’t participate in any of the tests since the sanitized ink would mix with his own. he had to rely on jay down there and it led to a lot of conflict.

- but the second he was able to (and when the sanitized ink was no longer in his system), he went ALL OUT on turf and ranked. he managed to save up enough money so he and jay could get their own place as sort of a way to pay her back for getting everyone out of kamabo by herself essentially

- he works part time in a music store and from that he realized my fucking god he loves music. and parties! if you ask him to throw a party, he Will.

in conclusion:

[harleyquinnamiright]

Crossroad High - Chapter One

also on Wattpad and AO3 Ships: (Eventual) Analogical, Royality, and Dukeceit/Demus Triggers: None that I can think of, please tell me if you’d like me to tag anything!

a/n: I don't know a lot about cheerleading and most of what I'm taking for Patton's cheerleading stuff is my fencing experience. Since it's a winter sport I didn't think it'd be fitting of Patton so. sorry for messing anything up there.

Remus Sanders is not a happy camper. After spending the entire summer at his Aunt and Uncle's house where all he could do was chores and school work, he gets one day to be at home. One day off before school starts again with the exact same day to day schedule as his so-called vacation. It would be bad enough having to do chores, having to do them while your guardians sit around and just tell you to be a different person is horrendous.

“HONEY! I’M HOME!” He chirped loudly the second he slammed opened the door, successfully scaring someone if the sound of something crashing had anything to say about it. He smirked to himself as he grabbed the door, seeing no dent in the wall, and kicking it back into place. His camo duffel bag that was slung across his shoulder was the only thing that he went to his Uncle’s house that he came back with, so he felt very smug waltzing into his kitchen. Even his wardrobe he wasn’t able to keep completely, though he was still wearing an outfit he had been able to hide by burying it. It was covered in dirt, but that never mattered to him. It was a black Billie Eilish shirt of her with her green hair, a pair of dark purple fishnets, and black ripped baggy jeans.

“You’re home.” Remus’ mother said with a sarcastic smile as she watched Remus walk into the kitchen. She was leant over the sink, a broken plate clearly having been just broken below her. Remus mentally high-fived himself. “You’re still doing makeup.” She said after a moment of silence, not trying to hide her disgust. Remus’ smirk turned into a smile as he remembered the loud purple eyeshadow and cat-eye he put on this morning.

“I am here. And yes, makeup is still on my face.” Remus smiled brightly, leaving the two standing in silence. “Welp. Bye!” He screamed the last word just to see if he could shock her again. It didn’t work, but it was worth a try. Walking to and up the stairs, it wasn’t surprising nothing changed. Whenever he left something seemed to change so it was a bit refreshing to see that the decor had left the same. No one else seemed to be in the house, which was a bit strange, but he didn’t note anything as he was glad to be home.

He almost screamed the second he opened his bedroom door. He didn’t actually scream, but he goddamn he wanted to. Everything that made his room his was gone. There wasn’t even a dresser anymore. His clothes he left were folded neatly on a silver shelving unit that looked like it belonged in a cafeteria, and there was no longer a mirror or desk. Half of the clothes there weren’t even his, or weren’t when he left, and he could tell that from the doorway. There wasn’t a trace of makeup and the walls had gone from his favorite neon green to a hospital white.

Not screaming, not thinking, he threw his bag at the bed that now had a sporty blue bedding instead of the green and purple octopus quilt he had specially commissioned, and climbed out his window. The roof below his room wasn't very strong but he walked on it enough to know where to step to get to the lattice and climb down relatively safely. He still wasn’t really thinking, but he got to his family's garage pretty easily.

Before he knew what he was doing he was holding a baseball bat above his mother’s favorite car. The only thing that made him stop and start to think was the garage opening to show his Dad's car. Knowing he wasn’t visible yet, he threw the bat half-hazerdly towards the corner and left the room garage towards the door facing his backyard, not really rushing, but still very much fuming.

—-

Seeing someone climb down the side of what seems to be their own house is not an everyday occurrence. Though, being in Roseville is not an everyday occurence for Janus Glass, so it’s not like he can actually speak about it. He couldn’t stop staring as he watched the interesting boy across the street climbing, but it was clear the other didn’t notice him. From what Janus could make out the other boy had white hair or white in his hair and was wearing clothes very different then from what Janus knew.

“Jay!” Janus heard, turning to see his Dad waving excitedly from the new house. It was a two bedroom house that was way bigger than it should have been, but the fact they could now afford it was amazing, and something neither of them had considered before.

J walked up to his front door and looked around, his dad running up the porch stairs excitedly. Neither of them had much time considering the fact that J had to get to the school soon for a tour, but it was nice to look around a house you never thought you’d actually get.

“What time was your school thingy again?” His dad shouted, now far inside the house.

“2:23,” J lied, wanting to be at the school early and liking the way the time sounded better. He looked around the living room which was connected to the front door briefly for a clock, coming up empty, but already spotting where one could go.

“So 2:30 or 3:00?” His dad responded, knowing his son's language.

“Former.” J responded, trying to visualize the rest of the room and decorations, a lot of which he and his father had already agreed on, but imaging again with different decor was nice.

“We, my boy, are going to be late.” His father said running down the stairs, walking quickly back into the car.

“What?” J asked deadpan as he followed him.

The two got into the car in silence, Janus half worrying about being late, half trying to imagine what the school would look like. Both thoughts got cut off by his Dad's car stopping shortly in front of a boy with sunglasses and a brown leather jacket. The boy looked up from his phone, gave the both of them a half dirty look before backing out of the way of the car. The two drove away with nothing but a look at each other. The rest of the car ride didn’t leave a lot of room for thought, being filled with Queen. Janus and his dad only got through two songs before arriving at the bland looking building that tomorrow would officially be Janus’s new school. The back of the building was boring at least, a solid wall of grey brick. The front had more sectioning off and was painted different quotes and pictures representing pride in the school and town, though not distracting from the statue in the middle of the front courtyard.

“Well look at that! This place looks fun! Am I dropping you off or should I know where your classes are? What are we doing?” Janu’s dad asked excitedly, clapping loudly once.

Janus totally didn’t flinch. He didn’t. Chad still looked apologetic. “You’re just dropping me off, Dad.” Janus replied, nodding to himself. The word dad made Chad light up as he unlocked the car. Despite the fact that Janus had gotten comfortable calling Chad Dad long ago, the fact he did made the other very happy.

“Text me when the tour is over! I’ll see what we can do about milkshakes afterwards, yeah?” Chad continued to smile brightly, not matching Janus’ low energy at all.

“Sure. Bye.” Janus was once again deadpan though trying not to be rude as he turned away from his father and towards the front entrance of Crossroad High. This was going to be a fun year.

—-

Roman should not have shown up 15 minutes early. It wasn’t a good idea when he left the house for the 10 minute drive, and it wasn’t a good idea when he got to the building. The front door was open by the time he got there, but there were no people around for what seemed like miles. The back parking lot full of cars, but it always was, and there never seemed to be any people.

The fifteen minutes wasn’t hard to fill when there was finally silence to think. In a house filled with the fights about Remus coming soon or Logan just needing people to know they were wrong, it was very hard to think. Sitting on the floor was also very nice. The silence was nice until there was a random voice behind him.

“Hey.” The voice was quiet, but it was still there.

“Hi.” Roman responded, turning around, instantly glad he spoke before looking as he looked at the others face. He seemed to have heterochromia of the eyes, one being almost yellow, the other a tawny brown. Also, half his face was covered in burns that looked so organized it looked like a waffle iron was pressed to his face.

“So. I, um, I assumed you were, a, my tour guide? If not, sorry for bothering you?” The other said cautiously, his voice rasping slightly, dragging out his s’s, going from somewhat deadpan to panicked in his time talking.

“Oh, yeah, no, yeah! I’m your tour guide! I’m Roman! Hello!” Roman said with a princely flourish as he stood up from his place on the floor, wiping his hips slightly.

“Greeeaaaaaat.” Janus nodded slowly as he drew out the word. “I’m Janus, with a u-s. Did you want the schedule I had or are we going around the whole school? or..?”

“We could do either! I wasn’t given a lot of strict instruction so I think we can do whatever. I was told you and I had the exact same classes, hence why I’m the one showing you around, so. Yeah.” Roman explained, smiling awkwardly. “That’s the front door.” He said after a second of Janus just staring at him.

“Math.” Janus seemed to force the word from his throat, for some reason not being able to speak. His face also had a slight tinge to his face that could have been blushing, from his burn scars, or because of the school lighting.

“Math. Yes. We have Algebra first. That starts upstairs. We go from here, down all the way to the middle school blocks, then use the left staircase, go all the way up, and the second door is the Algebra room. It sounds a little more complicated than it is.” Roman explained, pointing at the path he was talking about as he started walking.

“Middle school blocks?” Janus said a little easier as it was clear Roman would be able to hold most of the conversation for the day.

“Yes, the middle school isn’t really connected but it used to be. The 9th graders have to sometimes come here for elective classes because sometimes. I took a theater class that could only be held in this auditorium so me and my class walked here everyday from the upper lot.” Roman explained, smiling accomplished while talking about theater, obviously passionate about the subject.

“Oh, so you’re also a freshman?” Janus asked, surprised, his face turning confused again in the middle of his sentence.

“Yes, I have an older brother and again, theater class, so I am quite acquainted with the building.” Roman once again explained, turning to open the door but searching Janus’ face for reactions. There wasn’t much of any.

Janus nodded when he realized Roman was expecting someone and continued nodding throughout the rest of the tour. The school was broken up into wings so it was pretty easy to navigate. By 3:30 there was only one place left for Roman to show Janus.

—-

Cheerleading practice was rewarding but it was hard. A lot of people seemed to think it was easy, Patton at first included, but wow was it hard work. Not even mentioning the exercise before and after actually practicing things specifically for cheerleaders.

“Pat! We were all going to the movies later today, wondering if you’d like to come?” Regina, the head cheerleader, asked him cheerily.

“I’d love to! Should we meet in your locker room or mine?” Patton asked, already knowing the invitation was going to be revoked.

“Oh. Um. We kind of have to leave now.” Regina smiled apologetically, though she started tensing a tad.

“Oh, alright, then I guess I’ll see you next time!” Patton waves as he was the first one walking away, not pointing out several of the girls preferred to change too, and that many probably invited were already walking towards the school. Or that it was the fourth time they had invited him only to not revoke that when he reminded them he used a different dressing room.

It’s not like he was the only male cheerleader, he was just the only one who didn’t try out and get in in kindergarten. He joined in first grade, never thinking he was out of the loop. He didn’t even realize he was until 6th grade, when he and the three other male cheerleaders were chosen for the main twelve cheerers who were picked for competitions.

Suffice to say, thinking you’re alone in the locker room then hearing voices is pretty scary.

“And this is our last stop of the day! These are the locker roooo--- HI PATTON.” Roman, a boy Patton knew from theater class announced loudly upon seeing Patton. Patton laughed slightly, unsure of the loud reaction seeing as he was still fully in uniform and wasn’t doing anything he thought would cause such a thing.

The boy next to him waved slightly after a sec, looking at Roman strangely.

“Heyyy, Rodrick?” Patton asked unsurely, smiling brightly.

“Ro, uh, Roman.” Roman answered, though his tone was very questioning.

“Alright, hi Roman! And hi, you! I’m not sure we’ve ever met before! I’m Patton!” Patton waved more enthusiastically.

“Janus. With an u-n. It’s nice to meet you, Patton.” Janus nodded, smirking slightly on the side of his face that wasn’t burned. Patton was unsure if he wanted to ask but he was sure he wanted to know whatever or whoever was behind that sooner or later.

“Well. This seems a little awkward.” Patton said, closing his locker, deciding not to change out of uniform today. “I know why I’m here. Can I ask why you two are here?”

“I’m starting this school tomorrow and I needed a tour around.” Janus explained easily, drawing out the s, though his voice seemed like an emotion Patton couldn’t place.

“Oh. That’s fun. When walking in I think I heard you,” He paused and pointed softly at Roman, “say that this was the last stop? If that’s true, would you guys want to hang out? I’m a bit bored.” He finished, smiling and scrunching his nose, hoping it didn’t sound like he wanted to take over their day.

“That’d be nice. I’m also new to town so finding where to hang out would be, well, nice. Heh.” Janus answered after it was clear Roman was going to do no such thing. He stood there smiling like a polite cat, nodding continuously.

“Awesome! Let’s go!” Patton turned around, giving Roman a polite smile as to ask if he was coming. Roman just kept nodding. “Alright.” Patton shrugged, and started walking out the field to the back parking lot.

—-

Logan knew, for sure, that school didn’t start until tomorrow. He did. Then again, his brain never officially decided school was over, therefore he was in the clear of deciding he was overworking himself. It wasn’t like he was starting freshman year over again, he was going to school as a sophomore. He didn’t know why, but it seemed like this year was going to be important. Or dangerous. It’s school, who knows.

He was startled out of his thoughts about scheduling when his phone started playing Fergalicous. “Babes, you better not be hunched over your desk.” Logan’s friend, Remy, said after Logan answered the phone.

“I’m not hunching.” Logan answered honestly, pressing up his glasses.

“Working counts as hunching hun.” Remy paused to slurp his coffee, “Also I’m at your front door.” Remy said, sipping again.

“Of course you are.” Logan rolled his eyes fondly as he walked downstairs. He had earlier heard a crash of some kind of already figured his younger brother had been home and had probably left by now. Logan didn’t support what his parents had done to Remus’ room but since he didn’t stop anything he wasn’t sure he wanted to talk to Remus yet.

“Why was your brother climbing down the side of your house?” Remy asked as soon as Logan opened the door, confirming his suspicions of Remus being gone. His mother was now also nowhere to be found but she typically didn’t mind Remy being over.

“Probably because our parents completely cleared out his room after sending them to our Uncles.” Logan answered, walking upstairs, trusting Remy to shut the door and follow him up the stairs.

“That a quote?” Remy asked scandalously, obviously wanting more information.

“Not directly. Here’s what was said,” Logan started as soon as he closed his bedroom door. Talking with Remy was always fun, he was trustworthy, and truly the only one who appreciated gossip as much as Logan.

The fact that Remy was only not in Roseville for a week did not stop him from having a world of new information from where he was and Roseville. Logan didn’t have as much info as the other but he had plenty and he had plenty of new information on people to walk into sophomore year. —-

When Virgil got home, he genuinely did not know what day it was or when it was. He knew it was dark. It’s not like he was gone for long but when the sky gets dark around 6:00 you can lose track of how long you’re outside. The only reason he left in the first place was because his mother's boyfriend Derrick was coming over and Derrick didn’t particularly like him. He didn’t ask him to leave but while he was there it was clear he didn’t want Virgil there. In his own home. Virgil didn’t mean to fall asleep in a public park and get driven home by a cop with no clock in the car whatsoever.

“Honey! Oh my gosh I was so worried!” His mother said, hugging him tightly the second she opened the door. He tensed and squirmed but she didn’t care. Despite the fact they were still semi outside, Virgil knew Derrick wasn’t home based on his mother's closeness.

When she finally let him go, before he was able to say anything, she glanced at something and suddenly got a hard look in her eye. “Sweety, you have school in two hours. None of your chores are done. I’ll let you know when you have time to change.” She was swaying slightly and her eyes showed she clearly wasn’t all there, but when was she ever.

Virgil just nodded, not like his mother was in front of him anymore. She was probably going back to sleep herself, but Vee couldn’t bring himself to care. He didn’t know how long he slept and still doesn’t know an exact time, but he just plugged his phone in before getting to work on chores. He had no idea why he needed to change but then again his mother did care about what others thought about him. In public at least.

His mother never called him to get changed but luckily he set an alarm his phone was loud enough to alert him of. He didn’t really have time to fully change what he was wearing so he just grabbed the first sweater he saw and the backpack with all his summer work in it. He was dressed fine, an intentionally ripped dark purple shirt and distressed black jeans, the sweater being a favorite and one he worked to fix when broken many times. He heard the bus coming before he saw it and he didn’t get a second to breathe until he was sitting in the seat directly behind the driver. He realized he left his headphones home way too late, but tried to comfort himself by knowing there wouldn’t be time throughout the day to listen to them. It was the first day of freshman year, after all.

taglist (ask to be added or removed): @fandomfan315 @dragon-hair @a-long-suffering-artist @aleiimm @sadgayisme @falsehoodx @jessibbb @notveryglittery @i-have-n0-idea-what-im-d0ing @izzyfandoms

[iphoenixrising]

you know, I really love how badass and capable Tim is but I’m weak for the trope where a character gets in a bad sitch (maybe held captive) and their love interests go nuts trying to get them back and they’re furious seeing he’s hurt and restrained (baddie tied + gagged them too tight?)when they do rescue him maybe Jay and Dick are so tender and caring oof what are your thoughts?

WELL BABE. I mean with characters like Tim Drake and Tony Stark, overprotective (boy)friends tearing through bad guy installations with feral intent to get Tim/Tony back just waters my crops and clears my skin. It’s fucking beautiful.

I mean, let’s just say

Once and a while, every vigilante has a bad fucking night.

It just happen to be Red Robin’s turn.

The residual owfuck isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. That is, once he gets himself out of this before terrible bad guys with an apparent fetish for brass knuckles and knives come back to finish the job. After a lucky shot took his zip line out mid-leap, the night had gone from generally shitty to progressively worse. Catching a hard fire escape knocked him mostly out on the way down. He’d initially come to when the fist to his solar plexus is just about agonizing.

Whatever hits he’d taken on the way down to the street damaged the suit’s security, which is the only reason it didn’t shock the shit out of anyone when they grabbed him by the arms, held him there for the first round of blows.

It’s an occasional thing, for one of them to get balls deep in imminent fucking peril. There’s nights when sleep dep and stress, the day job and night job colliding, too many bads and not enough goods, nights when a one wrong step, one bad contingency, one hesitation, is enough for them to get the drop.

Which leads them to this disgustingly dingy, blood-splattered warehouse down on the East Side, where Red is dangling from a chain in the ceiling like a side of raw beef for the slaughter.

And while blood is sluggishly running down the side of his face and his jaw feels like it’s on fire, while his gauntlets are useless and the manacles are on fucking point, when his chest fucking hurts and the fire in his side makes his eyes water because really, just a concussion can’t be enough.

(R – Robert, heh.)

When he’s giving himself a few minutes to just breathe it out, take a second to let the pain settle, half in meditation to try getting mentally past this for an epic kind of escape he’s about to pull off.

Any minute now.

But really, he just had a rough night, and the fact these ass hats left the damn door open is really just a testament on how easy this is going to be once he feels up to taking down a few thugs or twenty.

(And just why did he have to walk into an impromptu gun fight between two rival gangs that decided to work together instead – against him. What’s taken the groups out of the room is arguments on who was going to get the glory and what bosses to call and inform. He’s pretty sure he’s got about at least ten minutes or so before everyone comes back for another few rounds of kick the shit out of the vigilante.)

So, he’s good. Totally got this.

It’s in the bag.

Ten minutes.

His forearms get tight, wrists immobile when he starts pulling his weight up to get some slack on the connecting chain, going to need to have room to pick the locks–

when the abrupt tremble and loud sounds of shit just breaking comes through the open door, jarring him too much for his warped brain pan to handle, and he drops back down a few inches, grunting with the jerking motions on his upper body.

Gunfire explodes and people are absolutely screaming. Things get a little more real because at this juncture, it could be anything from more fighting between themselves or another rival group walking in on an obvious base of operations.

It’s apparent he’s out of time when several come running back in, guns out, panicked and talking over one another.

Dammit. His brain hurts.

But even if his fingers are numb still in his glove, he’s slowly working the lock pick set out of his useless gauntlets, looking forward to getting free fast enough to take out the room before even thinking of taking on the fuckery happening behind that door.

What he expects is to get more roughed up before the night is over. What he doesn’t expect is for a body to slam into the room, blood arching in the same angle as the nice landing right at Red Robin’s bound feet dangling a few inches off the ground. The second body immediately following fell close enough for Red’s whiteouts to narrow down at the face beaten to hamburger, a thoughtful noise muffled through the gag shoved in his mouth.

He has a moment to register, that looks familiar, before the impressive silhouettes fill the door, and the calvary has apparently arrived.

To say he is literally boned is probably an understatement because he can see the tension all over them. Tight fists and forearms, shoulders squared, thighs tense, and game faces right the hell on.

It’s the terrifying vigilantes Nightwing and the Red Hood, towers of kicking ass and taking names –

and the thugs in the room gape at the picture those two make, blood sprays all over their suits, smoking barrels and sparking escrima sticks, lips curled up off N’s teeth to snarl, Hood to lower his chin enough that those whiteouts are fixed.

He catches a breath through his mouth since he’s pretty sure his nose is broken or dislocated, beaten body tensing for one of the thugs to get smart, turn, and fire at him.

But, it doesn’t happen because the Red Hood and Nightwing strike like an avenging wave of brutally beautiful justice. They move together like water, the fight never stopping until the bodies are piled high, a job well done. And as much as Red Robin would like to say he feels something crazily like relief, the all together different noise he makes through the gag is telling on what else watching them fight (for him) does to him.

“Aww, Big Wing, lookit what those fuckers did,” is slightly distorted through the synths, and he must have blinked a little too long because suddenly both of his vigilante boyfriends are right there, bracketing him in, being absurdly careful when they run gloved hands over him to find injuries. Hood goes for the gag tied so harshly, N hurriedly helping from behind him.

“Hey Baby, you with us?” is soft and gentle, the contrast to the savage beat-down N just had a hand in a few minutes ago.

Once the cloth is out of his dry mouth, gloved fingers rub the indents, and the helmet is tilted up at him.

“H-how did–”

“Shh, shh. Gonna getcha down, yeah? S’good, Sweets, we gotchu.” Already stretching up on his toes to work the manacles fast while N sweeps up his bound legs from behind, holding him up to take the weight off his wrists.

“There we go,” and a nuzzle against his face, sweet relief when his wrist and hands pop free, and he tries to work the feeling back in his fingers, laying against Nightwing’s chest for just a moment to be dizzy and relieved.

“Thanks for the save,” Red Robin woozily banters, “bad guys can be such ass hats.”

“Don’t I know it,” Hood gives a solid kick to one of the bodies twitching on the floor before coming around to gently fit a gloved hand on Red’s bruised jaw, thumb the mask so the whiteouts slide up and they can see how dazed his eyes are. He n’ N exchange a worried glance while Red pats the hand on his jaw and maneuvers himself out of the octopus hold, a little wobbly but still on point.

“All right, I’m on clean-up since I was the metaphorical damsel this time–” is cut off with a whoosh of breath when he leans over enough to brace a hand on the wall when owfuck gets a little more serious than he expects.

“Nothin’ doin’.” Is Hood nipping that little sitch in the bud, already a towering presence at his side, a heavy arm sliding around his back, “me n’ N done already gave the coppers a heads-up, you feel me, Sweets?”

“We’ve already tied up most the rivals in the building,” Nightwing soothes the one to step up into his space and tilt his face up this time, “and you are going right back to the Manor to be patched up. You’ve got a concussion and who knows what else.”

“Hey, it’s okay, really–” because missing a spleen anyone? He’s been through worse, worked through worse, and still brought out his inner bad ass. These two? Need to take a pill.

“Nu-uh. Ya try ta ged outta it, then we’re callin’ in the big guns. You feel me here?”

And oh no. No, no, no.

“Too late,” is growled somewhere in the vicinity of shadows over their shoulders.

When Red Robin spins on his heel and almost falls, Hood and Nightwing move fast to catch him by the arms so he doesn’t fall in front of the very stern-looking Robin suddenly steps from the shadows, both hands out to steady him by the hips.

Looming over him like Hood and N, Robin’s forehead is wrinkled in that special way when he’s scowling behind the domino. Red Robin manages to gasp before all six-foot-two of concerned vigilante is all over his everything.

Everyone is well-aware Robin doesn’t take any of his shit and is extremely efficient. What few, select people only know–

–he can also be extraordinary gentle.

This time, when Red Robin is swept up against another chest, another symbol, he doesn’t fight it, not when the youngest leans down and says something softly against his ear.

“Let us care for you, Beloved.”

He sighs a little and lists closer, throwing an around around those shoulders and idly fiddles with the cape.

“Better,” Hood uses a gloved thumb to run over his busted nose.

“I want a hot shower and bed,” Red admits wearily, “I can be a stubborn ass about it some other time.”

N chuckles sadly, leaning in to press a kiss to the top of his head. “That’s a good choice, Timmy. We’re going to find a second to eat between that, okay?”

He hums a little, trying to lay his face down on his arm somewhere that wouldn’t hurt. “I guess. Hot shower first, please.”

The bang of grapples echo against the sirens screaming in the night, and the Bats take off, flying over the rooftops to transportation not far off. Hood and N take driver and shotty so Robin can continue to cradle their bird on the ride back.

He might bitch good-naturedly about Hood driving the Red Bird like a literal bat out of hell, but it gets all kinds of shut down when Robin tenderly presses his mouth to the bruises on Red’s jaw and rubs soothing circles on the back of his neck.

Nightwing is the one that hops out and takes him from Robin to carry up to the Perch, talking low against his ear about the pick-up from the GCPD so he honestly feels better about where the night has taken him.

But it’s Jason Todd that runs a bath instead of the shower and strips down, runs gentle hands over the bruises and contusions, soaps him up to wash away the night. The two of them wrapped in towels while Jay sets his nose fast enough that it’s really not as bad as it could have been.

Dick towels his hair dry while he sits at the kitchen table, shivering, and Dami kneels by him to check out each injury with the first-aid tackle box in easy reach. Coffee is off the menu (a crime against humanity!) but the hot chocolate has been left to cool enough not to sting his sore mouth.

The eventual clothes are a combination from the communal drawer so he’s swimming in Dami’s shirt and Jay’s cut-off sweats, several ice packs bandaged over them on the worst of the swelling.

Grilled paninis and soup are utter heaven because A) Jay and Dami can cook, B) everything is easy to eat with a bruised face and cuts on the inside of his mouth, but also C) cute boyfriends keep giving him gentle kisses and touches whenever they come within a literal foot of him.

And they’re so good about it, taking care of him without being too smothering (at least no one has threatened to call his team – yet) through getting patched up and fed.

No, no, they wait for it.

Once he’s wrangled into bed, the three of them surrounding him in warmth and comforting touches, he’s pretty much trapped until morning.

Honestly, it’s probably the best part of the night.

[c0ffeebee]

Uma or Carlos from Descendants

ok so my first attempt at this died because of tumblr app but let's try this again

i will answer both because i love there two so much 💛

first uma 💙

OTP for them: umvie, my blue queens 

BROTP for them: huma (they are the ultimate brotp of all time), sea 3, vk 7, uma x carlos, audruma, uma x celia, umal

Other ships: huma MY GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, uma x gil, sea 3, umal, audruma

What kind of fic I’d write about them: well i actually have an idea crafted for a sequel to my accidental love spells harlos fic, this time about uma and evie, but to talk about it would spoil the plot of the harlos fic so yeah, then also first summer uma spends in auradon, vk7 are living in evie's castle but since jay and gil left for their vacation and mal moved into the castle with ben, it leaves only harlos and umvie and of course the romances are starting to bloom, then also i had this au idea with no isle and the evil queen is ruling in her own kingdom and evie is an heir to the throne and so the queen arranges a marriage for her, but evie falls in love madly with the pirate captain uma and in the end uma is basically stealing her away right in the middle of the wedding and they run away on uma's ship (and if evie's best friend runs away with them and uma's best friend is her first mate well then it's a whole other story) 

A favorite canon moment: "what's my name", that high note in "it's going down" you know the one, every time she is a giant octopus, her SMILE when she saw the bridge at the end of d3, "i'm right here girl" i cried, her reading audrey's diary in audrey's bed, that tender hug with harry in d3 when they all meet at evie's, i just love her and now i want to re-watch these silly movies 

Color that reminds me of them: teal (wow, what a surprise xD) 

Song that reminds me of them: WHAT'S MY NAME WHAT'S MY NAME SAY IT LAUDER (this and "chilling" are my two favorite songs from all three movies), every other song from descendants she sings in 

A headcanon about them: harry is the only person (until evie) that she is comfortable enough with to let her guard down, she can't even allow it to herself with gil because he has this image of her that he admires and to show him she's not exactly that image is like tell a kid that santa doesn't exist, she can't bring herself to do it, but what she doesn't realize is that gil is a lot smarter than she thinks when it comes to feelings and he already knows when she's not fine, he can read it, he sees her vulnerability anyway and she is still the strongest and the most magical thing he ever seen in his life, she calls evie "blueberry" in the sweetest way possible, when harry is starting to date carlos she gives carlos a whole lecture of "break his heart and i'll break your face" (yeah haha but really she knows harry enough to realize he's not used to being in love or feeling emotionally vulnerable and she doesn't trust that carlos has intentions serious enough, so she's actually ready to kick carlos's ass if he hurt her platonic soulmate), water heals her and gives her strength, she is a waterbender but she knew nothing about it until she left the isle that was blocking her powers, now she's trying to learn how to control it and sometimes fails, and it's really dangerous because she can control all the substances that have water in them, blood included, one time harry is injured and he's feverish and so carlos just asks like "why don't you cool him off with your powers" and uma ABSOLUTELY REFUSES because she is terrified of freezing harry to death on accident, she lets evie play with her hair but no one else (except for harry of course) is allowed to touch it, evie helps uma with developing her powers and discovers her own magic in the process 

A random AU I think up on the spot for them: no magic au where uma and harry work as lifeguards at the local pool, evie and carlos can't swim to save their lives but come to the pool every day FOR REASONS (insert w|w & m|m solidarity here) 

Anything else: uma was never a villain, end of discussion 

and carlos ♥️

OTP for them: harlos (painfully obvious at this point) 

BROTP for them: CARVIE OH MY GOD I LIVE FOR THEM, jaylos, core 4, carlos x uma, vk7, carlos x jane 

Other ships: benlos (they own my whole ass heart), ben x carlos x harry, uma x harry x carlos, carlos x sea3

What kind of fic I’d write about them: 32k words of story about accidental love spells apparently (see i actually finished this one in may 2019, but my beta still has it, she's having some health issues), then also a fic where harry gets injured (see that scene with uma i've talked about) and he's feverish and in that state he calls out carlos's name, mind you they are not even friends at that point, more like forced roommates (AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES!) so carlos gets scared because he never wanted harry to catch feelings for him or vise versa, so he's distancing himself and it all goes to hell, but believe it or not the fic is more of a comedy and nsfw than angst xD, also again lazy long summer at evie's with just carlos, harry, uma and evie around, it starts with jay sending carlos a massage, it's a photo from a vacation, him and gil and a lot of snow and an actual penguin, on the picture gil is kissing jay's cheek and the caption says "wish you were here, except not really" which is a joke and carlos is laughing and it's ok but he does miss jay a lot, and the fic ends with jay receiving a message from uma of all people and it's a photo of carlos and harry sleeping in a hammock with dude and beelzebub and the caption says "he wishes you were here, except… well you know" and then also the next message with "p.s. except you and gil won't fit in there with them i mean, we need a bigger hammock, when are you back?" 

A favorite canon moment: HEAR HER VOICE IN MY HEAD, "chillin like a villain", him saving core4's asses in the museum, his and ben's first meeting "is that chocolate?", him going off when cruella threatened dude GOD I LOVE MY BRAVE SON, him trying to fight the guy who was aggressive to ben on the isle and jay literally DRAGGING him away, GIRL TALK I REPEAT GIRL TALK, him taming the beast ben, him being ready to kick harry's ass as soon as harry steps on that bridge, him and harry dancing together in "break this down", THAT JAYLOS DANCE IN GOOD TO BE BAD OH MY GOD, actually every time carlos is dancing, i just love him a lot 

Color that reminds me of them: red, white and black (to the surprise of no one) 

Song that reminds me of them: "chilling like a villain", every song in descendants that he's a part of, and also "hooked" by why don't we just because it's such a harlos song 

A headcanon about them: ok so… i don't believe it's even a headcanon but he can kick some serious ass, he's not a coward and in fact it's the opposite he's always ready to fight and the others have to stop him (like jay did in the situation i've talked about above), evie is his first and best friend, he's the only non-magical person in his friend group (evie and jay are both magical ok? I SAID WHAT I SAID), he can't swim at all but learns eventually to prove to harry he can, he sometimes is a mom-friend to jay and mal if evie isn't around to do the job, he can't cook but keeps trying and failing, HARRY IS THE ONLY ONE TO EVER CALL HIM "PUP" (it doesn't even make any sense for anyone else to call him that, if you have a phobia no good friend would ever call you by the name of the thing you're scared of, if my friends would call me spidey i would be like… excuse me bitch what?), harry is the one who's sometimes scared of HIM and not the other way around because carlos can be really REALLY mean without even opening his mouth, his passive-aggressiveness is the worst and harry can't stand it, he hates when carlos looks at him the way he did back at the bridge, carlos is very enthusiastic in bed and he knows almost everything there is to know in theory but lacks practice so harry sometimes feels like a lab rat or something because carlos treats sex like he treats scientific research, he just needs to try a bunch of stuff to know what works best, harry is not against it, carlos pranked chad more than a few times and it wasn't kind at all, maybe carlos isn't gay, maybe he's on the spectrum but he still prefers guys, him and jane break up eventually but stay good friends, HE STARTS TO WEAR EYELINER AGAIN AND STOPS STRAIGHTENING HIS HAIR because previously he just adopted to auradon beauty standards but then he sees harry rocking that eyeliner and goes like "ok if he can do it then so can i!" and it's glorious, carlos knows a bunch of seemingly useless scientific facts, he's good at sports but only the ones that interest him enough, and i should probably stop because it's getting too long 

A random AU I think up on the spot for them: werewolf carlos and vampire harry (witch uma and fairy evie is also welcomed to join), i desperately need this in my life, ok? ok

Anything else: i really wish dude never talked because this dog stole carlos's entire story arc and all the interactions he could have had with anyone but jane the moment it opened it's mouth 

[hitchell-mope]

(Third film. After “ready as I’ll ever be”. In the woods of Auradon)

Lonnie (on her cellphone to Elsa): thank you your majesty. See you soon. (She hangs up). Ok. So we got Agrabah, Arendelle and New Orleans on our side.

Dizzy: what about Auroria and Cinderellasburg?

Jane: you know it just occurred to me how stupid some of these names sound

Lonnie (shrugging): we didn’t name em. Auroria. Possibly. Cinderellasburg. I dunno. Remember it’s her son who’s the homicidal maniac.

Dizzy: true

(In Ben’s office the three villains are looking at smoking hole in the carpet where the king once was)

Maleficent: is he dead

Chad: I dunno. Never done this before. Just thought of what would hurt him and did that. Dunno where that ball came from

Adam: what exactly would hurt him.

Chad: I think it was something to do with you sir

Adam: well he did destroy my portrait. And you had better hope he’s not dead. If he is then he’ll be used as a martyr and the bastards will be even harder to subjugate.

Maleficent: oh don’t worry. The bodies scattered throughout the kingdom? They’re merely asleep. The wand won’t allow otherwise. And a rookie did perform it after al

Adam: so what next?

Maleficent: I need to hunt down the ember and hopefully capture my daughter. You two make sure that the boy isn’t found by his allies.

Chad: Roger

Adam: we are not on a walkie-talkie

Chad (hopefully): but we could be?

Adam: no. You still have your cell

Maleficent: and you have a telapthic link with me. Adieu gentleman

(She disappears into purple smoke)

Chad: ooh I almost forgot. Where’s Audrey

Adam: don’t know don’t care. She’s not important. And she’s thrown in her lot with the villain spawn. She’s not worth saving son

Chad: I did this for her. I need to tell her. She can finally be my queen

Adam: and if she doesn’t want to? Because your skin is peeling off on your cheek

Chad: then I’ll make her. I have the wand. A little trance and then we dance.

Adam: whatever you think is best. Prince Chad of Auradon

Chad: I like that name

(On the island Facillier Celia and the boys have just sat down for lunch)

Carlos: god I forgot how good your cooking was

Facillier: well I’m glad I can still do something for you children. Even if it isn’t much

Gil: this is more then enough sir

Jay: to be honest I kinda missed this. Running away from Jafar. Coming here. Playing arcade games. Having proper good and not glass lined stew. Thank you

Facillier: your very welcome Jay. I have two extra slices for the girls when they come back from their fathers. Would they be interested

Gil: Evie would

Carlos: mom won’t. Vegetarian. But dad probably wil. If not then 🎶more for me🎶.

Jay: I’m done. I’ll put them on the bikes. You go play some games.

Carlos: ahaha I don’t think so. Not after yesterday. I’m coming with you. Don’t even try to stop me

Jay: and miss out on quality time with you? What am I? And idiot? Don’t answer that, just assume the position

(Carlos happily jumps in Jay’s back and they leave the arcade. The silence doesn’t last long)

Jay (from outside): HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK!!!!

(Carlos scurries back in slightly out of breath)

Carlos: the Hook’s stole our bikes. Jay’s chasing them. How long do you think mom and Evie will be at their dads?

Facillier: I don’t know. Why do they want there bikes

Carlos: the blonde said something about revenge redemption and repentance

Facillier: shit

Carlos: what

Celia: Harry’s alive. And they know.

(Outside the sisters Hook are on the bikes and Jay is chasing them. The give him the slip and he takes a shortcut which ends with him crashing through the apartment of someone he knows)

Jay: good thing I can’t get hurt

Cassim: Jay?

Jay: Cassim? You moved?

Cassim: I’m squatting.

Jay: of course. When this is all over I’m coming back for you personally. I need my grandpa after all

Cassim: Aladdin adopted you?

Jay: yup.

Cassim: I’m glad. Now what the hell are you doing

Jay: the Hook bitches stole two of our bikes. Trying to get them back.

Cassim: then go son, go

(Jay teleports away from the apartment straight into the girls path. They crash into him, flip over and land in a pile of crates against the wall)

Jay: you know. I have it on good authority that this is where your brother landed last year. After my friend stabbed him in the dick

Cj: don’t speak his NAME!

(She screams and aims a knife at his throat. He holds her wrist stopping her in the process. There’s a cracking sound)

Jay: do you really think you can hurt me. (Harriet tries to att ack him but he sweeps her legs from under her, she land on her back and he puts a foot on her throat) both of you are just as pathetic as your brother. Now. Tell me (his eyes glow bright gold) why did you steal the bikes?

Harriet (slowly suffocating): Harry. He’s, he’s

Jay: he’s what?

(In hades lair mother and son have just finished their talk)

Harry (still in disbelief): he though she was a mermaid. Oh god the injuicetus of it all

Hades: the what

Harry: it’s not fair. I can’t be related to those. Hold on. Do I have magic?

Hades: I don’t know. You might be a Vernon. James, while very bloodthirsty and oh so confident

Harry: yuck

Hades: is 100% fully human. So I don’t know if you have it in you.

Evie: and besides what do you care if you’re half mermaid? Your owner is an octopus. You haven’t got a leg to stand on

Harry: ohoho neither does the king kid sister

Evie: don’t call me that you have NO RIGHT

Harry: if I have magic. I’ll be more powerful then you

Evie: oh you think so do you? You’re only half god. The rest of you is stanky part human. I’m half sorceress. Mal’s half dark fairy. We’re better then you. In every way shape and form.

(This is when “anything you can do” happens. After the song)

Mal: are you two quote finished? Only cause I really want to get home before the kingdom falls and my fiancé dies

Evie (scoffing): of course. It’s always about what you want. You don’t even care that I’m in a crisis

Mal: I’m sorry what was that?

Evie: oh nothing. As always you’re too wrapped up in your own crap to see I’m suffering

Mal: oh my apologies dear sister. But who’s god awful advice last year led to the deaths of sixteen members of the paparazzi?

Evie: you’re the one that lost control. And then tried to kill me.

Mal: I was pissed that Ben got kidnapped. I also tasered Harry in the neck and nearly crushed Gil’s aorta in a fit of magic induced psychosis. You’re not special

(At this point the guys speak simultaneously)

Harry: you did what to Gil?

Hadie: you killed sixteen people?

Hades: that explains the magical history tour

Mal: Uma tore out my own heart and made me put it back, we used the book to resurrect them and yes the attempted sororicide is what led to it

Hades: wow. And. After all that. You still want to help.

Mal (shrugging): I live there. I have to help. Who else will?

Hades: the authorities. I don’t get it. After everything you’ve been through. Your mother. The coronation. The whatever it was the news called it last year

Evie: the green cyclone. It a lot PR to get rid of. I should know. I was in charge of it

Hades: and now this boy your mother possessed. You’re not thinking about yourself when you really should. By all means. Be all who you think they need you to be. Or be none of it. You don’t owe them or this world a thing. You never did.

Mal: is that from man of steel?

Hades: possibly. We get a lot of old used up films here

Mal: I never really paid attention to the movie besides the two leads

Evie: OH MY GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!

Mal: ...I think we need to talk. We can use your den right dad?

Hades: be my guest

Mal: thank you. CMON!

(She teleports Evie and her self to the den and seals the place)

Mal: now c’mon. Spill. Out with it

Evie: out with what?

Mal: the reason you’ve been pissy since the altercation we all had with Adam

Evie: I just...don’t...see...why you’re... ok with all this

Mal: oh?

Evie: he left us. With them. And I know he had his reasons. But they doesn’t excuse or lessen what he did. And I’m so...angry. That you seem fine with it. And it’s not fair. You have the height. More magic. The title. I love Doug and I can’t even say it to him. You’re the main character in this little soap opera that is our lives and I’m on the fringe of it all trying desperately to get a major part. But of course. Your story way isn’t it. And it’s always been like this. Ever since we were thirteen and I stabbed it in the leg. Got a quick hug from Carlos and he rushed straight into your arms and you punted next into the barrier. It’s irrational. And illogical. But I’m not a Vulcan. I have my own shit to sort out and it just feel like I’m constantly waiting out there for it to be my turn. I I.

(This is when “waiting in the wings happens”)

Mal: wow. And yet you’ve never tried out for choir

Evie: hey!

Mal: sorry. But seriously. You’ve been holding onto this whatever this is. For what? Ten years?

Evie: I hate that you’re right. I hate that you’re coining and I’m not. And I hate

Mal: you think I’m coping? I hate it too. I hate that he left us just as much as you do. But I do understand it. If I couldn’t be near Carlos I’d do whatever I could to keep him safe. Even if it meant ceasing all contact. And I know you’d do that for Dizzy and Gil would do that for the twins. I don’t like it but I understand it.

Evie: I guess.

Mal: ready to go back in now?

Evie: fine

(They go back to the main room only to seek new problem)

Harry (absolutely incensed): WHADYA MEAN I LOST A YEAR OF MY LIFE!

The sisters (unimpressed): this should be interesting

(At the arcade. The Hook sisters are ties back to back on the dinner table. Carlos is having a minor breakdown)

Carlos: woah woah wait. So you’re telling me. That the bastard that’s haunted my nightmares since I was eleven years old. Is the son of hades, Mal and Evie’s older brother. And you never THOUGHT TO TELL ANYONE

Harriet: why would we AAAAAAAAARGH

(Jay just flexed the cord binding the two sending an exceedingly painful electric shock through both of them)

Jay: yeah. You don’t get to talk to Carlos. Neither of you deserve to talk to Carlos.

Cj: we only require the presence of one.

Jay: English please

Gil: me. CJ’s talking about me. What do you want.

Cj: do you even care. Did you even think about them. All year long. You forgot them. Traitor

Gil (with more calmness then they deserve): I do care. I come here with my brother and our friends every Friday and I help with the relocation. As for Uma and Harry. They terrify me. They gave me the same look you’re giving me right now when I left. Uma wanted to get out of here, who wouldn’t, but when anything doesn’t go her way she turns cold and horrible. Harry, well, you know how he is. I loved them. And I know they loved me. But they terrify me. And you don’t terrify people you love. So no. I’m not the traitor. No matter what you say.

Jay: how long have you known?

Harriet: since Hadie brought him to the ship 19 1/2 years ago. I was three. I named him after meself.

Celia (unimpressed): huh inspired.

Harriet: if pa knew he had made it with a god who can take a lady’s form at will and sired a child in the process. Harry wouldn’t have lived to say his first words. And don’t either you dare say that it woulda been a good thing

Carlos (muttering): well

Harriet: SHUDDIT. It didn’t help. Father hated him. Insulted him. Tried to hurt him. It’s why I broke both his legs and poked out his eye. Everything I’ve ever done is to protect my brother and sister. And I’ll not have him be put at risk because his whore of a mother couldn’t keep her pissing mouth shut!

Jay (chuckling): I’m sorry have you MET your brother?

Harriet: yes. He’s an angel has a great respect for women. Would kill for his family. I raised him right

Jay: you raised a perverted overly violet ambiance is what you did

Carlos: I just hope that mom and Evie kill him before he gets here

(In the lair Harry’s having one of his patented meltdowns)

Harry: I remember HAHAHAHA I rememhahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHA

Evie: May I?

Hades: May you what?

(Evie walks up to her mortal older brother and slaps him around the face so hard he spins in perfect 360 and falls on his face slapped cheek landing on the floor painfully)

Harry: owwww

Mal: you’ve lost a year of your life. Big rotting whoop. You’re still nineteen

Harry: that’s even worse. I should still be young and beautiful

(The girls burst into hysterical laughter. So much so they actually start choking on air. Their brother is unimpressed)

Harry: so not only do you hate me. You think I’m ugly

Mal (trying very hard to keep a straight face): you are not a 12 year old girl and I am not your mother. So yes. Your hideously repulsive to me. More to the point. You’re nothing. You were born nothing. And god willing you’ll die nothing. You repulse me and everyone you know. The only reason our cousin ever kept you around is because she felt sorry for you

(Harry slaps her around the face. In turn she punches him in his face. Then uses magic to screw him up into a tiny little ball. And kicks him into the tv. After which he unfurls himself looking very much the worse for wear. This is when “you’re a mean one mister Hook” happens. After the song)

Evie: so you think we can leave him here as a moulding husk?

Mal (ruefully glancing at their father): I highly doubt it. The Samaritan here will probably heal him.

Evie: ooh idea time

Mal: yeah.

Evie: a repeat of last year. We take it hostage. And make Uma comply to our demands.

Mal: hmmmmm tempting. Can we still keep it beaten bloody and broken.

Hadie: ok this has been alluded to but I gotta know! What did he do. If he’s just in a different gang to you what could he have possibly done to make you hate him so much?

Mal: he attacked my son five years ago. He kidnapped my boyfriend and tried to throw him to sharks

Evie: he extorted my daughter for protection money. He fought my boyfriend last year

Harry: the dwarf stabbed me in the dick

The sister rotten: YOU DESERVE IT

Mal: he’s a foul vile disgusting little troglodyte who deserves eternal torment

Evie: he’s literally a bastard son of a bitch, father

Hades: somehow I think that was directed at me

Evie: ohoho if you’re ever going to be sure of anything in your too long life, be sure that every insult I currently have racing around in my brain is directed at you

Hades: thank you dear

Mal: we should get going

Evie: agreed

Mal: first though dad. Two questions. One. May I have the ember please? (He tosses it to her). Much obliged. Two. Come with us. Please?

Hades (looking guiltily ashamed): ah

Hadie: our dear old dad has barely left the lair. Yesterday’s incident was the first time he’s gone that far since

Evie: my second birthday. Of course

Hades: I’m sorry. I am so so sorry. I just. I can’t risk you, any of you, getting hurt because of me.

Mal (disappointedly): ah. Oh well. That’s fine. Long shot anyway. C’mon E. Wait.

Hadie: what’s wrong.

Mal: that (she points at Harry’s unconscious form). What’re we gonna do with it?

Evie: we’re gonna have to take him with us. A genuine hostage situation. If Uma tries anything. We threaten it’s life

Mal: I like those odds. (She conjures up a hair thin coil of rope and hogties Harry with it). There. That should do the trick

Hadie: doesn’t that hurt him

The sisters rotten: who cares?

(They leave the lair with the pirate railing behind like a deformed balloon. Once they’re at the arcade Evie stops Mal just before the dragon goes inside )

Evie: wait wait wait!

Mal: what what what?

Evie: ok. First of all. Uncalled for. Second of all. What do we tell the others about that?

(She points to Harry)

Mal: the truth

Evie: ok I know you have this “I don’t lie” policy, which is frankly bullshit, but sometimes lying is better

Mal: they’ll find out anyway. No use in letting it fester. C’mon

(They enter the arcade. And immediately notice the hook sisters chained up on the table)

Mal: hey guys. What’s going on?

Jay: they stole our bikes. Mine and Carlos’s bikes they were trying to find Pennywise

Harriet (happy cry/laughing): oh my god. You’re alive AAAARGH

Jay (holding the ignited and still burning chain): hush bitch.

Carlos: is it true mom?

Mal: yes.

Carlos: you and Evie I understand. But him. Dear god hades have some self respect

Evie: Hook thought she was a mermaid

Carlos: she?

Mal: Hades is Harry’s mother. Mine and Evie’s father. Harry’s mother

Carlos: huh, makes sense

Evie: in other news. I’m a day younger than Mal. The result of a rebound apparently

Mal: Maleficent left the morning after the wedding night.

Carlos (massaging the bridge of his nose): that’s a lot of information to get in thirty seconds

Mal: sorry hon.

Celia: what do we do now?

Jay: take all three of them hostage. If Uma tries anything. Off them one by one

Carlos Evie and Celia: agreed

Mal: Gil, buddy, you’ve not said anything yet. You ok?

Gil: how is he?

Facillier: he’s fine son. He’s preserved. Intact. He’s

Gil: is he still mad. About last year.

Cj: if he’s retained the sense Harriet taught him he’ll be mad as all get out

(The core four and Celia exchange a look that says “this explains so much)

Carlos: we’ve got to wake it up don’t we?

Mal: sadly yes. Jay you’re much more level headed than oh no...

(Her attentions turned to the tv where an emergency news report is airing. In Arendelle Elsa is preparing her leave)

Anna: how long are you gonna be gone?

Elsa: as long as my daughter needs me.

Anna: well then. Beat the bastards.

Elsa: oh believe me. I will.

(She takes her rucksack and teleports away to Auradon. She slams into a dome two hundwred miles from the castle and falls to the forest floor. Back on the island Hadie’s on his exercise bike. Hades however)

Hades: I made the right choice didn’t I? It’s not a good idea for me to go. So I shouldn’t. But I should. Bugger it. I don’t know. What do you think? What should I do

(Hadie hops off the exercise bike and faces his dad)

Hadie: what do you want me to say father? You did what you thought was best. I told you not to go try and give her the ember yesterday and look what happened. And now you’re asking me if you made the right decision? I can’t tell you that. Sorry but I can’t

Hades: I know. And don’t be sorry. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have put you in that position. Oooh. Idea.

Hadie: what?

Hades: go with them. Protect them.

Hadie: really?

Hades: yeah. Iri...Mal has the ember

Hadie: oh but they still don’t like you

Hades: but Mal likes you

Hadie: good point. I better get ready then

Hades: HAHA!

(This is when “I’m so sorry” happens. After the song. In the arcade. The news caster is fear-mongering)

Newscaster: we don’t know what’s happening. The black smoke descends and leaves people unconscious. It is believed that a villain may have escaped the barrier after Hades’s attempt yesterday afternoon. The king is missing and lady Mal is nowhere to be fargh (he lets out a strangled scream as his heart is ripped out of his back. His face goes slack and he speaks with Maleficent’s voice) I know you are watching dear. So do me the courtesy of paying attention for a change. I know he gave you the ember. For some reason he took quite a shine to me so it would make sense that you are the favourite. Can not fathom why though. You are basically useless and very difficult to love. Anyway. Give me the ember at your earliest convenience and return to the isle with me and the toffs will live. Fail to do so. And I shall kill every last man women and child in Auradon until only tour pathetic little friends are left. And I will make you do away with them. Just know Maleficent Bertha that if you deny me what happens is your fault. You’d choice sweetie. (The heart is placed back into the mans chest) I’m sorry I don’t know what happened for a minute there urk

(His neck twists violently to the left and he falls down dead)

Mal: oh no. Oh nononononononono.....

(She enters a verbal cycle that only Jay notices. He switches off the tv and gets on the dinner table)

Jay: ok. EVERYBODY OUT. NOW

(Everyone hightails it outside and he sits down beside Mal on the floor)

Jay: it’s ok. You’ll be fine.

Mal: you don’t know that

Jay: I do. I do know that. You know how I know that? This sort of thing has happened to us so many times before. And you know what we do? We win. Every. Single. Goddamn. Time. And besides. You have the one thing Maleficent or chad will never have.

Mal: what? What do I have

Jay: you have me. You’ll always have me. I’m always gonna be there for you. Whatever happens. Be sure if this. I’m here for you

(This is when “I’ll be there for you” happens.)

[spadesinglasses]

Coconuts and Whales

Title : Furry Rocks and Big Fishes.

Pair : Pre- Lonnie / Uma and Jay / GIl

Fandom : Descendants (specifically the movies)

[Ao3 link]

Lonnie just got back from staying with her family for a week and when she found out what had happened, she couldn’t help but feel left out. Her friends all had gone thru a huge quest in saving Auradon, had obviously grown closer to one another in ways that neither the past two tragedies had made them.

And now the barrier surrounding the Isle is gone? Lonnie was devasted for missing all of these and wished that she could’ve insisted heading home a day earlier.

Nevertheless, she was happy that everyone was safe, and that Audrey had been recovering well.

The change in Auradon and the Isle was obvious, but subtle at the same time. There are people who she met on the streets whom would sometimes stand awkwardly, not knowing what to do and where to go.

Then she would see the people she knows try and guide them around.

The central marketplace had become way noisier than before. She would sometimes see people from the Isle heckle and barter in ways that no people from Auradon ever did.

It brought a certain jolt of excitement in her to see something so new and fresh.

Her experience in the Isle may have been short, but something in there brought her to heights she never felt before. It was exhilarating that no sport had ever made her feel.

And then the grand sword fight with the Uma and her crew happened. The rush, the danger, and the pressure made her feel alive in ways she could not imagine. She still dreams of it every now and then.

Her shock after hearing how Uma and her crew had played a major role in saving Auradon was embarrassing. She tried not to hold other people with prejudice, but given that how she last saw Uma, as a huge octopus wanting to drown their vessel, did not really help her contain her surprise.

But she still listened as Jay filled her in with the detailed version of the story.

Two days after the reconnecting the Isle and Auradon, King Adam had decided to hold a feast and celebration in the center of the city to formally welcome the people of the Isle.

Some of them had decided to find places to live in Auradon’s soil, while the others had been satisfied with still living in the Isle, but still go to the city for supplies and new garments.

The celebration had been going on for a few hours now but the people of both the Isle and Auradon were still vibrating in joy and laughter.

There are others who were still reserved with interacting to one another, as Lonnie eyes each side with people who would rather talk to themselves than the other side, while some brave souls would freely go to one side or the other to converse.

So far so good, no trouble had happened, yet.

Lonnie was sitting on her table with the rest of her friends when Jay and one of Uma’s crew, a blond named Gil, son of Gaston, captured her attention.

The two had been mostly inseparable when she got back.

The first thing happened after she’s back in her dorm was Jay knocking on her door to ask how she had been with her family. They had grown closer during their practices. She had been relentless when it came to coach them, sparring them without holding back, trying to ignore Chad’s never ending complain.

Despite the stress, and the way some tried to keep her from participating in the sport, regardless of how good she is, Lonnie had come to love them all.

But she had a different relationship with Jay.

See, she thought they have something, and knew that Jay thought the same. So they tried it, they dated for a while after their dance during the cotillion. But eventually their relationship had settled down to friendship, platonic camaraderie that would often result to a friendly competition over the simplest things.

They had shared their hugs, hand holdings and resting on each other’s shoulders. But they never really had that feeling of wanting to kiss one another.

After telling what she felt to Jay, the guy had said the same to her. And that was that.

A slight nudge brought her back to the table. She blinked before focusing to the guy beside her. Jay was looking at her, while the blond guy, Gil – she should really remember to use his name, was also looking at her.

“So, Lo. This guy here is Gil.” Jay brightly grinned, while nodding towards Gil.

Gil beamed, his smile mirroring Jay’s, waved at her. Jay nudged him with his shoulder and then mouthed something she missed.

Gil then dropped his hand and thrust it out for a hand shake. “Hi! I’m Gil, son of Gaston! You might know my father from Ben’s father!” He said, still grinning.

Still surprised, Lonnie took her hand and shook it. “Hello,” Gil had a strong grasp, and had kept on shaking. “My name is Lonnie, daughter of Mulan.” She grinned before pulling her hand back.

“So Gil and I had been talking, and thought we wanted to go around and outside of Auradon. I might have to take a gap year, but I just can’t take my mind off of this.” Jay smiled at Gil before looking back at Lonnie. “And I might actually do it!”

“Are you sure about that? I mean, what about the tourney and the swords & shield?” She asked.

“I’m quite sure the rest of the guys would be fine without me. And like I said, I can’t really take this idea off my mind. You know how I am with ideas like this.”

Lonnie surely knew how impulsive Jay could be when it comes to these stuffs.

She laughed, “Of course, who am I kidding. Go and enjoy the world Jay, you definitely deserve it after saving Auradon.” Lonnie tried to keep the bitterness out of her voice, but it was slightly difficult.

Jay spared her a knowing look and knew that this will be revisited later when its just the two of them.

“Oh! I have to tell Uma about this.” Gil grinned happily before going back to his bowl of fruits he had been munching.

Lonnie watched as Jay’s eyes softened watching Gil, and there she knew that something was going on with the two that her friend had failed to tell her before.

 Jay and Gil were now sharing a huge bowl of fruits and other sweet delicacies. The celebration was now starting to soften down as the sun is at the horizon, the sky painted a mellow orange, and various lamp posts lighting up around the place.

She heard a chair being pulled on her other side that made her look. It was Uma, settling down on the seat that was Jane’s earlier. “After the whole issue with the princess, these two had been inseparable and insufferable.” She groaned, her cheek on her palm.

Despite her words, there was a certain tint of fondness in it that Lonnie was able to catch.

With a raised brow, she eyed Uma. “Have you heard what they wanted to do now?”

Uma huffed a chuckle at that, “Yes. Harry went straight to me when he heard them.”

Lonnie was a bit confused with what kind of relationship the three shared. It wasn’t the same as what Mal, Evie, Jay and Carlos have. This was more, personal, familial. Lonnie wonders what kind of stuff they had went through before.

“Gil seemed excited to share that to you. He will be devastated if he finds out Harry already told you first.” Lonnie smirked, it was weird to tease a VK, or well, Uma like this.

She watched as Uma just stared at her. A surprise on her eyes, and something else tinting her face. She cleared her throat and straightened up. “Well, it’s a good thing I’m a good actor.”

Lonnie laughed so hard at that, which caught both Jay and Gil’s attention.

Gil beamed, “Uma! Jay and I are going to places with furry rocks and big fishes like what you said. And also, penguins! Oh I want to see a penguin so much!”

And then Jay cuts in, “And we also thought that it would be great if you can join us! Imagine the great adventure! We can set sail and just keep on going somewhere!”

“And of course you are welcome to go with us Lonnie! Jay told me just how much you also love going on adventures!” Gil chimed after. Looking at them both with a sheen in his eyes.

Startled, Lonnie couldn’t answer. She thought about it, wanting to just take a backpack and just go on an adventure without knowing what’s before her. She thought about exploring ancient tombs and buildings in her homeland, about going through thicket of trees with her sword, or going under vast ocean to find treasures.

She turned around and saw Uma just staring at Gil, and then went and stare at her, and then Jay. She too seemed not aware of what to say.

Knowing that she wouldn’t be able to do this by herself, and would hate herself to miss this opportunity, she did what her mother did, she grabbed the chance and said, “I’ll do it! I’ll go with you! And really, it would be great if you come with us Uma.” Lonnie said before looking at her, whom she found starting at her with eyes filled with filling excitement.

Lonnie knew then that Uma was definitely going to agree.

Uma cackled, her hand on her thigh as she looked at the skies. Now with the attention of the other kids on the table pointed at them. “I guess that’s that then. We’re setting sail to dance on the backs of big fishes and eat furry rocks!”

Lonnie smiled. Despite their rocky introduction, Lonnie decided that seeing Uma happy, unburdened and just vibrating In youthfulness she did not have when they met, was going to be a sight she will treasure deeply.

‘AND PENGUINS!” Both Gil and Jay shouted at the same time, hands on each other thrust upwards between them.

Giggling, Lonnie punched upwards as well, “TO PENGUINS!” She shouted, which Uma did repeated in between fits of laughter.

And with the rest of the table looking at them confused but with smiles on their faces, Lonnie had decided that despite what she had missed, she was so ready to make new memories with her friends.

[jaylos]

i hated descendants 2 and here's why

a collection of reasons why i am utterly disappointed in this sequel.

warnings: there will be swearing and negative commentary about these ships: Mal/Ben, Evie/Doug, Carlos/Jane. (so basically all the canon pairings lmao)

buckle up this is gonna be long and salty. (also spoilers, duh) (and i take artistic liberty in the capitalization of words and i like to be dramatic)

also check out other rant posts i made bc they kinda tie in with all of this (reading not required in order to understand it tho): magic ban Rise of the Isle of the Lost my thoughts during my first time watching it Bal

1. Characters

Ok i need to go back to d1 for a second: they already did a bad job on introducing the characters to us there. For exapmle: Carlos and technology. He does that thing where he locates the museum or when he turns off the alarm, but without the first book (the isle of the lost) the fact that he is supposedly a tech genius would've flown over everyone's heads. And this is the problem: the movie(s) rely on spin-off media (the books, wicked world) to explain the characters to us. A movie shouldn't have to do that in the first place, but what makes it worse is that the books and the webseries are inconsistent like no tomorrow and also contradict each other on several occasions. Now that wouldn't be so bad if the movies were enough to solidify the characters, but they're not. They also try to patch up plot holes in the books so they don't have to deal with it in the movies. But someone who hasn't read them might wonder how the pirate crew got their ship, and they're offered no explanation in the movie whatsoever. (i'm pretty sure this could've been avoided with a few tweaks to the script tho??)

What I think happened here is that they simply had too many characters and so basically all of them fell flat because they didn't have time to explore them properly. And what did they do in d2? they dragged that problem with them, introduced more characters who's arcs they could half-ass and got rid of what little personality the original characters had.

We don't actually know shit about them. What are their hobbies? What are their interpersonal dynamics like? What are their struggles in Auradon after a life of abuse and neglect? (i'm convinced that that last one can absolutely be dealt with in a child-friendly manner, but instead they brushed it off almost completely. I say almost because we got a few tidbits here and there but those were about as deep as a puddle on a sidewalk)

1.a. Jay

Why is he depicted as a main character when he has less lines & relevance to the plot than Jane?  Even the gotdam dog had some purpose. wouldn't change a thing if Jay wasn't there at all.

l i s ten i love Jay for the character that i made him out to be in my head and through some of the things the fandom has contributed but in canon he is redundant as all fuck.

Also i'm not gonna go into the outfits in this rant bc that's too subjective and is not what contributed to d2 being a bad movie but let's just say i found most of his looks kind of.. off-putting. why they didn't take advantage of Booboo Stewart's beauty is a mystery to me. Especially since his looks are supposed to be Jay's strong suit.

2.b. Chad

He was a completely different character. Not only did his personality shift from deceitful to moronic but his morals changed?? like in d1 he didn't actually play by the rules - he let other people do his homework, and he didn't tell on Evie because he found her cheating wrong but because he wanted payback.

And in d2 he suddenly cares about rules word for word because the writers and the (young) audience already hate him so he can be sexist too i guess. Instead of making him a meaningful threedimensional character that offers a different perspective as the child of a disney hero he was turned into the comic relief and the overdone trope of the jock that lost his status and is now laughed at. Groundbreaking. you hate him i get it i g e t i t. (also stay tuned for the sexism part i'm not done with that)

1.c. Carlos

to get super subjective again: i absolutely hate the direction they went in with his character. why not make him even more nerdy now that he has the freedom to do so? the only thing that referenced his tech stuff was that he supposedly improved their 3D printer. wow. his new hairstyle, the golden headphones etc. were things that don't fit into the impression i got from the first movie and/or the books at all. they didn't even show him tinkering with some device or whatever? how tf am i supposed to believe that he's a techie???

Also in Rise of the Isle of the Lost he is anti-magic for some goshdang reason, but in d2 he asks Mal to help him with magic, which is one of those inconsistencies i was talking about.

1.d. Evie

here's what i would have done with her instead: make 4 Hearts less relevant (do show her sewing and talking about commissions) and let her care for the remaining isle kids from the very beginning. her introduction in d2 could've been her talking about wanting to bring them over, but having difficutly to make it happen (maybe the royal council pushes back or whatever).

instead she spends 6(?) months doing jackshit about the isle kids and only remembers it like halfway through the movie.

1.e. Ben

he just pisses me off. not only is he dismissive and ignorant of Mal's struggles and blames her for when she fails to be perfect, but he is also incompetent as a king, at least when it comes to the Isle. Why the fuck did it take him so long to bring more isle kids over? and why does he need to hear it from Evie first? it was his idea in the first place but then he completely forgets about it for some reason even though he is literally dating a vk. "i guess i've just been busy" with what? being a fuckboy? (also sidenote: there it is again with the "tell don't show" that i've already talked about in the rant about Rise linked above. it's one of the biggest problems i have with the storytelling across all installations in this franchise. Ben is not shown being busy one single time. We're just supposed to believe it because they said so.)

(another sidenote: why the fuck does he have those beast traits, by which i mean all that redundant roaring like i get they want to reference beauty and the beast but do the writers realize that his father was cursed he does not actually have those furry genes)

1.f. Jane

? per s onalit y ?¿?? literally who is she

There's not much to say about the others (some i will cover later when i talk about relationships). Do you know that thing when a character's potential is wasted? In descendants this happens with every last one of them. They're like those cakes that are just for show: they look amazing and tasty but when you take a bite it's cardboard.

2. Plot

pretty basic for the most part, but i personally found the suspense curve really weird. it has two climaxes (? what is plural): 1. the sword fight and 2. at the cotillion. Also i hated that it took place over the course of like 2 days, but that might just be my personal taste. There are some plot holes of varying degrees of annoying. For one, Maleficent probably starved to death in that box because Mal and the writers forgot about her. And her moped is gone, it left, like i should have as well, good-fucking-bye.

Then there's the fact that Mal didn't go back with them because she learned some kind of lesson or grew as a peson or whatever but because she didn't have a choice and they never talked about her initial struggles except "my hair and dress are purple again so it's fine". i mean yeah she said her piece about not fitting in or whatever but we don't actually see it working out after all that trouble?How did the dynamic in their relationship change? who knows.

Then there's the fact that Uma is somewhere in the ocean, she's a giant monster and 100% capable of using magic but no one gives a shit??? at this point i'm willing to bet that in the next isle book it will be explained what happened to her so it doesn't have to be dealt with in descendants 3 and i will scream.

By the way i didn't understand what it was that Ben said that convinced her to retreat, his speech was so lame.

Also the octopus/dragon "fight" was ridiculous. they didn't do shit? Uma was just wiggling around and Mal was floating, which looked stupid because she made flying/gliding motions but stayed in the same spot.

And one thing that really annoyed me is how they only made 5 smoke bombs and then also needed exactly 5. b better prepared u idiots. that whole thing was so weird anyway bc the point was to avoid a fight but it didn't work. maybe it would've worked if they had made more than 5 who knows. and the plan to make them in the first place came completely out of the blue. (-plan? -smoke bombs -k)

Also why did Uma expect the wand to work under the barrier? The only explanation I can think of is that it's because the wand was what created the barrier (although the whole thing about the Isle is that magic Does Not Work and we should have been given an explanation as to why the wand is an exception) but 1. How would Uma know that and 2. If it had been the real wand they could've used it to knock the pirates out or whatever and Uma should've expected that. This whole trade-off thing was sketchy and holey as fuck.

You know what was one of the best things about d1? The parents. I mean this was probably a budget issue but the parents were arguably one of, if not the, most entertaining aspects. and boy could it have been interesting to see the confontation between them and their kids...

The isle was really weird and underwhelming btw. i saw people say it was great bc we got to see more of the isle but did we really? it was just a bunch of disjointed locations and we still have no idea how anything is located in relation to one another, how big it is, or how and how many people actually live there. And why did no one there give a shit that the rotten four were back? most of all Mal, whom the people hated the most for betraying them and becoming a princess. Also why did Mal not go back to her old home instead of this building that was a.. warehouse? their gang hangout?? that came out of nowhere??? correct me if i'm wrong but do they say something along the lines of  "we used to hang out here" even once? why was there a bed in there

And hey remember tourney? It's not even like roar was necessary so that they'd have swords? Also it could have been mentioned like "now that tourney season's over we're focusing on roar" but no?? Let's just forget about it like the writers did.

3. Music

not really much to say, except that they used way too much autotune but i guess overall it's an improvement compared to the first movie but it's whatever. the only thing that confused me about what's my name was that in the movie (as opposed to the music video on youtube etc) there was this weird echo that made it sound like it was playing in another tab with a slight lag??

and another thing that stuck out to me was it's going down: the rap parts were already hella uncomfortable to watch but when ben started singing i just about died of secondhand embarrassment it's so bad lmao.

4. The Thing With Lonnie

Don't get me wrong, i love that she got a bigger part and that she's a good swordfighter and whatnot.

BUT:

First of all, why is it even a thing that the roar rule book has gendered language like that? i mean aren't there countless women in auradon who have proven over and over again that they're just as capable as man? why does Lonnie need to prove anything. especially since her mother is mulan of all people???

listen, the exploitation of gendered language has brought forth some great moments (eg: lotr "i am no man") but it's getting old. Girls and women have proven countless times that they can do "anything a boy can". how many times more does it have to happen until we can take the next step?

And it wasn't even handled well in d2. Sure, Lonnie's captain now, but do we really have to wait until d3 (or god forbid the next book in the isle series where the movie can lean back and let the book do all the storytelling work) for something to actually change in a system that is still misogynistic for whatever goddamn reason??

for this sideplot not to fail miserably like it did, what should have happened is that Lonnie changes the rules so that anyone can join the team, because as we were left it was still "captain and 8 men". we did not see the actual change happening and this was a half-assed attempt at this tired old "girl power" shit.

in this kind of storyline we only ever see the first step, we never see the actual progress that follows. it's always just "huh, i guess girls aren't useless after all" it's 2017 get with the program and move the fuck on.

OR just drop this overdone trope and have a team consisting of different genders from the very beginning.

It's time to tell girls that they don't need to prove themselves in order to be respected.

5. Relationships jesus christ here we go

okay okay there is a number of things that get my blood b o i l i n g and one of them is lazy fictional heterosexual romances and boy oh boy is this movie a fucking gold mine in that regard.

5.a. let's take a look at janelos first (don't worry i will talk shit about bal and devie individually as well): it's boring, shallow, if it was a spice it would be flour. look, if you ship it, by all means be my fucking guest. i even encourage you to write fanfiction or do something to make something out of this bland ass mess of a supposed romantic relationship.

it's a perfect example of what is wrong with this kind of fictional romance. first of all i will disregard the books bc 1. the movies shouldn't need the books for that, yadda yadda and 2. they don't do much to save it anyway. so. it's the easy route, the tried and true formular, and that's the problem. he was a boy, she was a girl, and that's enough to make their interest in each other believable, right? the answer is no. it's lazily written and i am tired™. why, how, when did they fall in love? are they even friends? what do they have in common? what activities do they enjoy together? those are all things we don't know, this relationship comes out of nowhere. how did they go from not even so much as look at each other in the first movie to being head over heels for each other? and not to mention, was it worth sacrificing their personalities for? you guessed it the answer is no yet again. Neither Carlos nor Jane receive any character development whatsoever. None. They could have done so much with them (if you hear a strange sound it's me weeping).

And it is replaceable. Change their names and it won't make the slightest bit of difference, because this relationship does not have one single distinguishable trait (in fact it has no traits period) compared to the 87632947 others out there. it is so. generic. and frankly i don't understand how people can settle for it. i mean i get how people can just watch the movie and not care bc why would they, but how does someone look at this and go "yes, this is a well-written romance" ????? ? ? up your standards people.

and now some predictions that came (somewhat) true from that Heterosexual Romantic Subplot Bullshit Bingo i wanted to make for d2 but never finished:

- by the end their relationship won’t have developed like at all, but they dance together to show us that they’ve come sUcH a LoNg waY

- one wants to ask the other out/they both want to ask each other out, but they’re too shy and also the plot keeps interrupting them.

- it will take away screentime they could have used to give them actual character development.

- jane won't receive an arc besides being and obligatory love interest.

- carlos tries talking to her but he stammers and it’s supposed to be cute.

5.b. Devie

Like i get that Doug is jealous bc of his own insecurities but what is hip with the kids in the year of our lord 2k17 is mutual trust and communication. To think that Evie would cheat on him is such an insult tbh?? And why did Evie not tell him where she was going in the first place? i mean granted i could think of a few reasons why she wouldn't but we don't even see her give a shit bc Doug is irrelevant in her quest to go and sing a duet with the person she'd rather be dating. She probably just forgot about Doug like I, the viewer, did the second he left the screen.

Also it's just the same bs again. We don't know shit about their relationship. What is it like? What do they enjoy doing together? What is their dynamic? Doug could literally be a pair of Pradas and it wouldn't make a difference.

But for real tho can we go back on how he accuses her of cheating?? like wow dude that's so gross  pls don't present that to young viewers as cute because i assure you it is not.

5.c. Bal (h e r e w e g o)

Ben is such a bad boyfriend omg. I mean i get that he couldn't possibly understand what Mal is going through, but he isn't even trying. She changes everything about herself and he doesn't get suspicious in the least. And apparently they don't talk about anything that matters because 1. Mal can't be honest with him (she dragged all that shit around with her for ~6 months!!!) and 2. he would know more about the isle (but he has no clue).

out of all the relationships in this movie this is the one they should've put some effort into. i mean they succeeded in making Ben look like a dick but that wasn't their intention so i just ended up feeling sorry for Mal for being stuck with him bc it's ~true love~ .

Mal to Ben: "you've always known who we were" he didn't tho?? just bc he gave her a purple dress in that stained glass picture? he could've just told her that instead of letting her suffer for months bc she thought he'd leave her if she was more like herself. and that's the resolution, Mal shouldn't have been worried oh how silly of her! i guess everything is fine after all!

but you know actually their love for each other is totally believable bc they had an emotional and heart-wrenching duet together - oh wait.

A big reason why Sofia Carson and Dove Cameron got a duet is probably because they're professional singers and Mitchell Hope apparently can't get out a single correct note without 10 layers of autotune but when the story is about true love saving the day shouldn't that aspect get a little more attention? i mean don't get me wrong i like that the duet between mal and evie is there at all (but hey @disney make it gay you cowards) bc the friendships between the characters and especially the vk's don't get nearly as much attention as they should.

not to go on a tangent about how hand-holding and forehead-touching can totally be platonic but put next to Ben and Mal who Do Not Do That it makes their romantic relationship even less exciting. like, i don't know why i should care about it.

also while typing this i realized that it's not really that different from other movies and i thought hey, maybe i'm being too hard on it, but then i remembered that 99% of all canon heterosexual romantic relationships are bland and boring and i need writers to try harder (or try at all) because i am bored to death by the same shit over and over again.

i know i'm wasting way too much energy on this but i was already too invested in descendants so might as well go all the way amirite. i just had to get it all off my chest. if you need me to elaborate on anything feel free to message me.

and the first movie wasn't all that good btw, it is trashy in a way that was enjoyable, but the second one is just trash.

so yeah all in all that script was just straight up a pile of garbage consisting of washed-out tropes and no amount of bright colors or catchy songs can save it.

[stian-martinius]

Me as a “Descendants” Character

So I have decided to try making myself into a character from Disney's "Descendants" which now has two of the most successful Disney Channel Original Movies of all time. This was not an easy task, and I have spent uncomfortably lot of time figuring this out. I've taken many factors in to consideration to decide who would be my parent(s) - a hero, a villain, a sidekick or someone in another category? How would my personality be as this character, what kind of fashion would be fitting - and where in the storyline would I fit in? This and loads more have been factors that have given me a result. First I was going for an Auradon kid (AK), because most of my friends would describe me as a gentle, caring and kind person. I usually do what I am supposed to do, and I always put others in front of myself. Though all of that almost close the deal for me being an AK, I thought to myself: there are plenty of Villain Kids (VK) who are like that too. And I also have been through plenty of tough times in my life, where I have had to adapt to "survive". When I talk I literally breathe sarcasm, which is something I associate with the VKs. I was quite confused by my split personality: in one second I am fierce and I will tell you what I mean, and in the other second I'm shy and really not comfortable being around people. Then it struck me what my perfect character would be! In real life my name is Stian Martinius, I am 21 years old and I am a gay, single lad (compare that to the character). ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Name: Jack (of Hearts) Nickname: Red Prince Parent(s): King of Hearts and Queen of Hearts (from "Alice in Wonderland") Location: Isle of the Lost in Heart Castle Gender: Male Age: 18 Sexual Preference: Unsure Relationships: Harry Hook (crew) Uma (crew) Gil (crew) Ally, daughter of Alice (enemy) Ben (enemy) Mal (enemy) Evie (enemy) Carlos (enemy, potential crush) Yzla (ex) Desiree (ex) 1-10 of hearts (siblings) Personality: Rude, loud, argumentative, bossy, impulsive, shy, introvert, fair, kind, caring, smart, hardworking, anxious, athletic, talented Likes: Reading, sports, red roses, winning, getting his way, singing Dislikes: Losing, being alone, cats, not having his way, white roses ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Okay, so why on earth would I want to be Jack of Hearts? I actually find the combination of his parents very fitting for me. Not only do they remind me of the balance between my real parents (with my mum being like King of Hearts, and my dad being like Queen of Hearts), but with me being both straightforward and introvert at the same time - it's just like the card royalties. I would be in place between "main" Villain Kid and a sidekick, as I can see myself being someone who takes on a lot of responsibilities, but also not being the alpha. "Alice in Wonderland" is not one of my top favourites, but it is still a movie I quite enjoy. Since the "Descendants"-franchise still yet have to release a descendant to the Queen and King of Hearts (though in the original story they have ten kids being 1-10 of hearts), I thought that was quite great. In the fashion department the colour scheme is perfect for me. Over the last couple of years I have found myself wearing almost only black, white and sometimes grey. The only other time I do not wear those colours, I use red - and what colours does the Queen wear? Black and red. I like using skinny, tight fitting clothes as I am quite skinny (having that from the King), and I am pretty tall (more the Queen). If you imagine a mixture of Carlos', Jay's and Evie's wardrobe/style - that would probably be my kind of collection. I have just dyed my hair blonde, and I would love to think Jack would either have blonde hair from the start (to annoy his mum) or on a later point. I would not wear my glasses as Jack. My hobbies and interests would be fashion, sports and dancing. I love designing stuff, I love shopping and OH BOY do I love sports? I am not a great dancer, but I would love to be - and I can imagine my character watching the telly from Auradon and daydreaming about dancing like they do - in all secret of course. Where would Jack join in the storyline? Jack will be one of Uma's crew mates, but not being part of the showdowns between Uma and Mal in either "Descendants 2" nor "Rise of the Isle of the Lost". He would be equal to Harry Hook, being one of the top dogs (or should I say - top octopus?) Although he is one of the most wicked VKs on the Isle of The Lost, he is secretly dreaming of a different life. He is not sure he would want to be a dull Auradon kiddo, but he is not sure the life on the Isle is what he wants. I am, like many others, hoping Disney will stop being afraid of giving a character a gay storyline - so this would be the time for that. I think Jack would be an old friend of Carlos and Evie (not Jay and Mal), and Jack has especially a great tone with the De Vil son. They went to Dragon Hall, a school on the Isle, and were quite "close" friends (you know, friends on the Isle is not like friends we usually have). Even though Jack has dated girls previous, he is starting to wonder what is going on with him. Even though he hated Carlos leaving and choosing good, he always thought of him - and stared at him on the telly. As the history goes on, he keeps on feeling the butterflies in his stomach. Even when he and the rest of Uma's crew, were after the Auradon VK's, and he had the chance to hurt or capture Carlos, he lets him go. Eventually it turns out Carlos has missed Jack very much, and his relationship with Jane ends. Jack take Ben's offer to join them in Auradon, still not sure if he wants to be a typical Auradorian. He accepts because of Carlos, and the two of them can start to develop something beyond friendship - maybe. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ That is what I wanted to say for this moment. I will defiently work more on this character, and for all you know - there might be a Descendants fanfic coming in the future?

[shareyoursmile]

Reviews: Sabor serves some of the bes...

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Reviews: Sabor serves some of the bes...

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The Telegraph’s Michael Deacon has an outstanding meal at Steve Drake’s Sorrel in Dorking

I ordered the ‘Discovery’ tasting menu. It began with two exquisite snacks: filo pastry with mackerel, and the creamiest broccoli mousse with kiwi.

The first course proper was another mousse, this time pumpkin, with smoked paprika, Parmesan and parsley: melty, sweet and crunchy. Next: scallop, smoked cauliflower, cucumber and curry cannelloni. Again, a tiny swirling blizzard of competing textures and flavours: soft, crunchy, savoury, sweet.

Chicory, samphire, pork cheek, blood orange and chervil: the least remarkable thing on the menu, by virtue of being merely good. The salt-baked beetroot, by contrast, was excellent. Tangy, tingly, salty and sweet. (I know I keep saying sweet, but virtually all the dishes had some element of sweetness. From here on, assume a dish is at least partly sweet unless stated otherwise.)

A lissom poached monkfish (not sweet!) was followed by duck, date and a peculiar concoction on the side called liver meringue. Then a cheese dish that looked like a miniature bakewell tart: the inevitable sweetness offset by the stinky, glowering brutishness of the Barkham Blue cheese.

Two puddings. First, something called Carrot Tobacco. Imagine a sugary Shredded Wheat, the size of a thumbnail, but made from dehydrated carrot and served on a blob of ice cream. I guarantee it tastes much better than it sounds. Pudding number two: the burstingly fruity Blackberry Waldorf.

There’s lots to love at Sabor in London’s W1, says The Guardian’s Grace Dent, and lots that could be a little better, but it’s still some of the best Spanish food in Great Britain

Two plump, shiny gambas come in an oily garlic slick for £8. A plate of freshly blanched purple sprouting broccoli comes with a beurre blanc so sumptuous that I eat it like a belted galloway let loose among the petunias. But I’m less struck by the frit mariner, a puzzling plate of soft onion, aubergine and pepper with white fish and two prawns hiding sporadically in its midst and located only via autopsy. And white pepper is scattered liberally on many of the dishes. But I fell in love with the bombas de chocolas, a trio of saucy praline- and hazelnut-flecked doughnuts: teeth-encrustingly naughty. I love the rhubarb and mascarpone tartaleta much less, despite the deftness of its pastry bed and the freshness of all its innards. It was a too-tart tartlette.

There’s lots to love here, and lots that could be a little better. But it’s still – and this is testament to Barragán and Etura – some of the best Spanish food in Great Britain.

About £40 a head, plus drinks and service. Food: 8/10; atmosphere: 7/10; service: 8/10

The Sunday Times’s Marina O’Loughlin wants to love Bryn Williams at Somerset House on London’s Strand

The recipient of a cauliflower steak dish (yes, of course there’s a cauliflower steak dish) — an intimidatingly large slab of the vegetable, charred from the grill, dotted with fat, sweet, golden raisins and salted fresh grapes, served with a side dish of the richest, creamiest, cheesiest polenta I’ve eaten outside Piedmont — is still rhapsodising about it days later. I’m moved to swoop a chunky, golden-crusted chip through the polenta and am suitably ashamed: double-carbing, the most pleasurable transgression. Williams can certainly cook.

And he has a firecracker, if occasionally magpie, creativity too: I’ve seen compressed watermelon with seafood before, initially a Thomas Keller signature, I think, now adopted by everyone from Simon Hulstone in Torquay to Quay in Sydney. But the version here is an absolute blast of freshness, the fruit transformed by its dehydration, the crab sweet, perky, enchanting, a frond or two of salty sea asparagus and a slick of herbed oil the savoury base notes that hold it all together.

I want to love Bryn Williams at Somerset House, but what I feel is more a kind of awed respect. The staff all behave as though a smile or a bit of a chat might crack their cool. This is with the very notable exception of Federica, a Neapolitan charmer who radiates warmth and welcome like a walking ray of sunshine. She’s evangelical about Williams, recounting every stage of his “celebrity” while talking us into ordering a “lav-and-er” dessert I’d never have contemplated otherwise. It turns out to be astonishing: shards of crisp, lavender-scented meringue, lemon syllabub of clean, airy sharpness, suave, mauve blueberry ice cream: none of it too sweet, all of it a showstopper.

Total: For two, including 12.5% service charge £121

The Times’s Giles Coren is impressed by the Woodspeen in Berkshire

I had a crab risotto off the special menu, not cheap at £18 and pretty small, but beautifully made, the grains firm and lively but gritless, the crabmeat fresh and sweet, juicy little brown shrimps in there, beads of cauliflower, olive oil, spot of balsamic. Esther had their own-smoked salmon, perfectly cured, sliced vertically, muscular and fat with slivers of yellow and red pickled beetroot, blobs of goat curd, strips of Granny Smith, a wonderful riot of colour in bleakest, snow-bound winter. As was the roasted scallop with its chorizo and broccoli.

The bass was a picture: fat white flesh wobbling beneath a crisped silvery brown top, sitting on plump beans in a bright white chowder, basil leaves, some orange of pumpkin … And a tranche of cod was equally impressive, sitting on rounds of braised onion and scattered with tiny brown shrimp.

Cooking: 7; service: 8; score: 7.5. Price: £75/head

Studio 88 near London’s Leicester Square is brilliant except for the food, according to The Observer’s Jay Rayner

The service is terrific. Managing table service cheerfully when 80% of the room is on their feet dancing, as they were from about 8.10pm, is not easy. This lot managed it with grace and professionalism. What’s more, they had to do so in the face of adversity, which is to say, the notion that putting food in paper cones, placed in spindly holders, is a good one. It isn’t. Each time they served us with a cone they made a point of putting it directly into our hands.

It took me a while to work out why. If they put them on the table they would invariably fall over, as the only one they placed down did, spilling its contents. Sadly, they replaced it, which meant we got to try their take on salmon tartare. It involved avocado, olives, currants, coconut and despair. Mine. If someone had made this for me at 3am from what was lurking at the back of the fridge, I’d have understood. But to pay someone to do it seemed to me like a terrible error of judgment.

Crab croquettes were mostly potato and had a “Mum’s gone to Iceland because she hates me” quality. They were served completely tepid, which is unsurprising given they were in a paper cone. The worst of these tepid dishes was an extra sharing platter of dim sum at a shocking £20, which reminded me of those sold in a well-known Asian supermarket chain. They’d been allowed to cool and coagulate until they were stuck to the slate they had been served on. Maybe they were trying to save us from eating them. We pushed the slate aside and leapt up to dance to Don’t Stop Me Now.

Meal for two, including glass of prosecco: £50

Fay Maschler reviews Bowling Bird in London’s Farringdon in the Evening Standard, a restaurant “agreeably timeless and happy in its own skin”

Meat cooking is at the restaurant’s heart. I’ll be going back to eat one of the cuts of beef, probably the côte de boeuf with roasted shallots and sea salt, but I can tell you now about exceptionally well-flavoured rack of Borders lamb, its fat rubbed with cumin and caraway and little dots of black olive caramel providing sweet-savoury punctuation. Wild haunch of venison hung, says its recipient, almost to the point of being able to canter back to the forest, is also notable — and munificently served.

Fish dishes tried include chargrilled — few items escape that fate — octopus served with beetroot, paper-thin slices of raw mooli and alfalfa sprouts; king prawns, also grilled, accompanied by lemongrass aioli; and dish of the day of Sardinian fregola cooked with tomatoes, garnished with a pair of langoustines and zhooshed up with ’nduja. A dessert shared is tarte Tatin, where the pastry could be puffier but the caramelised apples are excellent.

Rating: 3/5

HOTELS

Tom Chesshyre of The Times enjoys the creative design of the newly launched boutique inn, the Cow in Dalbury Lees, Derbyshire

The Cow is full of surprises. The bar comes with strange stools made from tractor seats and milk churns. A table to one side is fashioned out of an old butcher’s block. Furniture and fittings have been artfully constructed from reclaimed wood and shiny sheets of copper and zinc. The reclaimed wood look continues in the rooms, which have a pared-down style and (slightly comical) paintings of cows on the walls. Old machine parts have been cleverly transformed into lamps and some rooms have cowhide chairs to go with desks made from reclaimed wood.

Most food is sourced within 30 miles and it’s served either in the bar or in a small dining section with a fireplace. The menu mainly comprises small plates such as stilton and plum rarebit, marmalade-glazed chipolatas with chutney, and baked aubergine. The idea is to order two or three each and share, or have a couple to share as a starter and then one of the larger plates. I do the latter, enjoying the hot smoked salmon flatbread (like a little pizza) and potato croquettes to start, followed by a fine pheasant casserole and, for pudding, a sweet Bakewell trifle with cherries and almond sponge.

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Homestead Homeschooling: Year 3

“Eh… So… Are you still homeschooling?”

I hear that question a lot. And I get it.

I mean, doing school every single morning. With three kids (one being a wild toddler). While running a blog and our doTERRA business. And writing a real, published cookbook. And keeping up with a homestead, etc, etc, etc.

It sounds crazy. Well, it IS crazy. Maybe I’m crazy.

But regardless, the answer is ‘yes’. We are in the thick of our third year of homeschooling and we don’t plan to stop any time soon. I think we’re lifers, y’all.

I’ve written homeschooling posts for our previous two years, (here’s year one and here’s year two) so I figured I’d keep the tradition alive this year and write up what we’re doing this time around.

Why We Homeschool

Our reasons for diving into Year 3 are the same as they were our very first year. In a nutshell: We’ve created a unique life that we love and I don’t want my kids to miss out on it for 7+ hours a day. Homestead life is rich with lessons, creative pursuits, and opportunities to develop skills, and I personally hate the thought of sending my kids away from this environment for the majority of their childhood. It’s important to us to raise our children to be problem-solvers and entrepreneurs, not just employees– I think homeschooling fosters that idea beautifully.

(This is where I interject my disclaimer: homeschooling is not for everyone. Truly. The intention of this post is not to judge or condemn anyone who chooses public schooling. Heck, who knows? Our kids could end up there sometime in the future. As much as I love it, homeschooling is not my sacred cow.)

That being said, homeschooling isn’t perfect and we certainly aren’t perfect. Having been homeschooled myself (K-12), I’ve witnessed very successful homeschool families and extremely dysfunctional ones. But that happens with public schooling, too. There are days where our mornings are ridiculously organized and orderly, and days (kind of like today) where everyone has a hard time staying focused and the toddler is sticking blocks up her nose while we’re doing spelling words. It comes with the territory.

Homeschooling with Three Kids

Speaking of toddlers, doing school with a two-year old in the house is… interesting. I haven’t yet developed a foolproof strategy of getting school done with other little ones in the house. I doubt I’ll ever get it completely figured out– we just do the best we can. Toddlers have a knack for creating chaos, no matter how good your intentions. Our “plan” is usually for her to play with special toys while we do our lessons, but that doesn’t always work and sometimes she ends up sitting on my lap grabbing at Unifix cubes and flashcards with her octopus arms.

(By the way– these magnetic tiles are the most-played with toy we own. They are out on a daily basis.)

On the flip side, she’s learning by osmosis (she’s starting to count) and she can hold her pencil with proper form while she pretends to write the letter “a”. So there’s that, I suppose.

This is also my first year schooling two kiddos at once (Kindergarten and Second Grade), which has required some juggling. Prairie Boy turned 5 in October, and if he had been going to public school, he likely would have waited to start Kindergarten until next year. That was initially my plan, since he showed very little interested in schoolwork and had a hard time sitting at the table when we started in September. However, something clicked this winter and he’s been soaking up the lessons like crazy. Right now he’s on track with Kindergarten-level work and really enjoys it, so I’m rolling with it. I can’t believe how much he’s changed in just a few short months.

Homeschool Curriculum: Year Three

The amount of curriculum choices out there will make your head spin, but I am committed to sticking with my plan of keeping things simple. I do not try to recreate a traditional classroom, and we focus on the basics. I especially love curriculum that can be used for multiple grades at once, as I believe there is much value in the one room classroom model.

Here’s what we’ve been using this year:

(this post contains affiliate links)

Reading/Writing/Spelling:

Ever since she started Kindergarten, Prairie Girl has been especially strong in math, but slightly weaker in language arts. We had tried two different reading curriculums previously, and I just didn’t love them. She was getting frustrated and reading wasn’t flowing for her. I spent hours searching for different options, even though I knew in the back of my mind what we’d end up using… My mom used a book called The Writing Road to Reading with me, and I hated every minute of it in elementary school (sorry, just keepin’ it real). However, it gave me an extremely strong foundation in writing and reading, and I still use the principles I learned in that book to this day. (The only higher education I have are two Associates Degrees in Equine Studies– that darn book gave me the tools I needed to turn writing into a career. Who would have thought?)

And so, much to my chagrin, I found myself hunting down that very same book to use with Prairie Girl. It’s been revamped over the years and is now called Spell to Write and Read, but the principles and method are basically the same.

But it hasn’t necessarily been a slam dunk. Let me start with the GOOD first:

In less than six months of implementing Spell to Write and Read, Prairie Girl’s reading has improved dramatically. She’s reading fluidly and confidently, and more importantly, she is understanding WHY words are spelled and pronounced certain ways. I felt like the other books were based too much on all the exceptions to the rules… (“A” says “ah”, but wait… not here, or here, or here, or here…) SWR teaches all of the letter sounds right off the bat, along with spelling rules, so the English language suddenly becomes so much more logical. There are still exceptions, of course, but they are fewer and far between. It’s enlightening, even as an adult. We introduce 30-40 new spelling words each week through the book’s lessons. Focusing on spelling as a foundation has skyrocketed her reading ability and comprehension, and when it’s time to read a storybook, we don’t have the tears and frustration we used to.

SWR functions as a spelling, writing, and reading curriculum (supplemental story/chapter books are recommended once the child is ready), and this all-in-one approach fits perfectly with my “keep it simple” plan.

However, there is another side to SWR:

It is a BEAR to implement. While the curriculum itself is brilliant and I believe wholeheartedly in its premise, the organization of the books are less than impressive. They recommend setting aside a large chunk of time to learn how to teach it, and they aren’t kidding. My first clue should have been the multiple “getting started” guides that came with it– no other curriculum I’ve ever seen or used needs this many different instructional sheets, websites, and videos. It’s insane. I may or may not have said some bad words while sitting at the table late at night trying to decipher it all.

Once you’re familiar with it? It’s a cakewalk. But the way the books are laid out feels clunky and confusing to me.

That being said, the time I spent figuring it all out (about 6-8 hours, I think) was worth it, and I’d do it again for the benefits I’m seeing with my kids. Prairie Boy has already worked through all the letter sounds of the alphabet and I’m excited to use SWR with him from the very beginning. I suspect reading will flow more easily for him not having used other books first.

We also read aloud almost daily. Little House in the Big Woods, Farmer Boy, and Mr. Popper’s Penguins have been our favorites so far this year.

Math:

We used Singapore Math for first grade last year, and while it gave Prairie Girl a strong foundation, I didn’t love how they presented some of the concepts. We switched over to Saxon 2 this year and we’ll be sticking with it for next year as well. I like Saxon’s no nonsense approach and the simplicity of how they present each concept. She’s been breezing right through it, and I’m seeing huge advances in her understanding of various concepts since we started the year.

Math with Prairie Boy started out informally. We did a lot of counting at the beginning of the year, as well as making patterns with blocks and shapes. We’re working on counting by 10s and 5s, and he is grasping basic addition and subtraction concepts. We did most of this with simple manipulatives and a white board, I grabbed a DK Children’s math workbook for him a few weeks ago for added reinforcement, but it’s nothing we haven’t already covered.

History:

We’re using Story of the World again this year and I love it. It’s no frills, but the kids adore it and I love that my 5-year old can tell me about the Hanging Gardens of Babylon and the library of Ashurbanipal. I highly recommend getting the accompanying activity guide for each book, although we don’t always do the more complicated crafts (crafts just ain’t my thing). The Prairie Kids love the coloring pages, and I have noticed a huge different in their retention when they color a page on the story topic.

Science:

I enjoyed Dr. Jay Wile’s biology and chemistry books when I was in high school, so I decided to try his elementary science curriculum this year, Science in the Beginning. It’s marketed as a book for K-6, though I’ve found most of the lessons are a little too advanced for a Kindergartener and a Second Grader. It has an experiment for every lesson, which I appreciated, though some are better than others. We’re using portions of it this year, and I plan to implement more as they grow older. At their ages, most of their science lessons are a part of our every day life, so at this point, they are learning more science during the non-school portion of our days. (Weather, solid/liquid/gas, water cycle, seeds and plants, etc)

Moving Forward

And that’s pretty much the extent of it. We start school by 8am every day (I’m a stickler for staying on a schedule– our life functions best that way), and we usually finish no later than 11am. Afternoons are for playing outside, riding horses, art projects, puzzles, legos, or helping Daddy in the shop. I see us adding more into our days as the kids get older, but right now I’m mainly focused on giving them a very strong foundation in math and reading and going from there. Next year we hope to join our local Classical Conversations community (as a way to connect with other homeschoolers) and Prairie Girl will be doing 4-H once she turns 8.

It’s messy, crazy at times, and not for everyone, but I can genuinely say I’m enjoying this homeschooling ride. Do you homeschool? Leave a comment and share your favorite curriculums!

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