#which leads into my next point- which is that i'm doing the classic 'if you can't find it write it yourself' with my original work

[stellacendia]

I've got a complicated history with the concept of romance. I had a relationship in high school that, while technically romantic, was more or less "I like you the same amount as my other friends except we kiss sometimes." I've always had friendships that were incredibly intense, at least on my end. And when the person on the other end of that friendship was single, I felt that intensity was... more or less returned enough for me to be content. Not everyone values friendships like I do, I get it. Good enough for me.

Then that friend would get a romantic partner, and suddenly it felt like I mattered way less. And, god, I've always tried to be reasonable about it, I've tried to be understanding and nice. Of course my friend wants to spend a lot of time with their partner, especially when the relationship is new. Of course the partner is important too, of course romance is important to my friend. I can't be selfish and deny my friend time with their partner. I should try to be friends with the partner so that we can all spend time together. No, it's definitely not third-wheeling, not when we're all friends with each other!

But yeah, I felt replaced. Also horribly guilty for feeling replaced, but to me.... that friend was the most important person in the world. I'd do anything for that person, no questions asked. Follow them to the ends of the earth, let my entire universe revolve around them. (Is this healthy? Maybe not. Probably not. Did it anyway. Don't know how not to.) And it just fucken sucks when that person simply won't offer the same devotion in return. They'll offer it to their romantic partner, because the romantic partner is always more important than any platonic relationships. They'll offer it conditionally to me, when they're between relationships, only to drop me again the moment they start up another romance.

It's this messy cycle that keeps me endlessly questioning whether or not I'm really aromantic. Cause most of the time I feel like I am! I do not and have never needed romance. And then I catch myself daydreaming about a future where I have a partner that acts in all the ways a romantic partner does and have a mini identity crisis.

And I think, I've figured it out. I don't actually want a romantic relationship. What I want is for someone to finally offer me back the same kind of devotion most commonly found in romantic relationships, the same kind of devotion I offer my closest friends. For once I want to be somebody's most important person, instead of always being second best.

[girlbossagenda]

Hi! I love your posts! Can you do one on: how to stop fawning over pretty more “seemingly” confident and educated women our age? I tend to do fawning and it’s embarrassing because I want to have more successful and confident friends but I end up being a pushover or weirdly admire them wayyyy to much and I become nervous speaking to them. Thanks so much!

HOW TO STOP FAWNING OVER OTHER GIRLS AND BE YOUR N°1 FAN

Omg, this is such and underrated topic!! Thanks for asking, we usually see the beauty and the light in other people, to the point that we stop seeing the true beauty inside of us, sometimes we ever become doormats to our own friends, Time to change! So here's how:

౨ৎCREATE CLEAR BOUNDARIES౨ৎ

Girl stop showing up for every single little thing, especially if they won't do it for you too!

౨ৎDON'T SPEND TIME WITH THE SAME PEOPLE ALL THE TIMES౨ৎ

Try to enter in different rooms with different people and found in which roon you are more appreciated, maybe you shine more in a place full of alternative people or in a place with the classic ig influencer!

౨ৎDON'T BE EASILY ACCESSIBLE౨ৎ

People are going to take you fro granted if you're the one who always shows up, especially if the plan it's last minute, ofc, I'm telling you to not skip every meeting or people will start to not invite you, but take in consideration to live more for yourself.

Sometimes saying "No sorry for this day I can't" or "sorry maybe next time" can help you gain more appeal and make you feel more confident.

౨ৎPUT THEM DOWN OF THE MF PEDESTAL౨ৎ

Why bow to them and not bow to yourself? What makes them so special? Are you not the main character of your life? So act like it! take space, act like the leading role!!!

౨ৎTIME FOR A GLOW UPPP౨ৎ

If you are bringing down your looks, I suggest to actually practice some for of selfcare along side with putting in practice some glow up tips, starting from the basics to then reaching the top level!!(I might post a glow up guide soon!!)

౨ৎGET TO KNOW YOURSELF౨ৎ

When you know yourself, you know how much you are worthy, do it for your younger self, once you get to know how you are inside, you'll start to idolize your own self

౨ৎEDUCATE YOUR SELF౨ৎ

If it's education the proble, gain more knowledge, get educated, but don't always talk about it randomly ofìr people are gonna take you for a show off, instead try to share that knowledge by going to acculturated places, or inviting them out somewhere like a museum, a book review meeting, a festival etc...

Sorry for the late answer, you know In middle school I hed your same problem, but I solved it by simply avoiding this type of girls and focusing on myself, so every single time whe had some type of conversation I could handle it with my brain(I wasn't that much of a beauty back then lol). I hope you have a great day, and I hope I helped xoxo gougeous

-𝓐

[roseyodditea]

Dance Practice - Diluc x gn! Reader

Summary -> 800 ish words (probably). Diluc attempts to teach you how to waltz.

Warnings -> None

A/N -> You know the drill: Not proof read and self indulgent. Also feel free to send in requests. I'm trying to think of ideas that aren't just for Wriothesley and Boothill. Can't show my favoritism too hard

Your fork fell against the nice plate, the loud sound echoing through the halls of Dawn Winery. “What?” Diluc looks up from his own dinner, a confused look in those big, red eyes. “It’s rather customary. It’s just a small celebration for the top investors. My father set the standard that they be ballroom style with some hors d’oeuvres, some nice wine, nothing too extravagant.”

“And I will be expected to go?” “Why yes, you’re my partner. There have been plenty of rumors about you and the investors would love to meet you. Quite frankly, I’d love the opportunity to show you off. It makes the idea of hosting one of these parties worth it..” He said with nothing but pure adoration in his voice. But it did nothing to soothe the way your heart dropped in your chest, nerves turning your blood ice cold.

“Big party huh? Tuxes, dresses, all those prying eyes?” “Hardly prying. They’re so self absorbed they’ll barely remember what else they talk about during the party.” He shrugs and takes another bite of his food. 

“‘Luc… Darling.” You try to hide the way your voice quivers. “You really want me there?” “Of course I do, why would I not?” He places his hand on top of yours, rubbing a thumb gently across the back of your hand. 

“I want you to think really hard about the differences of our upbringings.” You always try to gently remind him that your childhood was nothing like his, and he always seemed so slow to remember. 

“I don’t… oh.” A flash of guilt crosses his face. “I suppose I should have told you about it more than a weekend in advance.”

“Yeah. Probably.” You could do nothing else but offer a soft chuckle. “I don’t know the first thing about any fancy parties. I don’t want to embarrass you.” “Nonsense. I’ll have Adeline take your measurements tomorrow and you and her can pick out your outfit of choice tomorrow. I’ve got a good tailor who’ll rush the alters.” He responds casually and continues to eat his dinner, yours now going cold. It was hard to have an appetite with the sudden rush of nervousness. 

“That’s not all I’m worried about. It’s the whole… behaving properly, the dancing, the not knowing which fork goes where-” “It’s not a dinner party, love, there won’t be any forks.” “That’s not my point and you know it.” You sigh, defeated.

Diluc places his fork down and moves to sit next to you, rubbing his hand across your back. “You’re right. I need to be taking this more seriously. I can’t say I understand how nervous you are right now, but the least I can do is help you through it. May I ask what’s stressing you out the most?” His voice held emotion he dare not show in front of other people. 

“I think… The dancing. They’re going to expect me to dance with you at least once, I assume?” “Yeah. They will. But it’ll be okay.” Diluc hums softly. “Just follow my lead, relax, and only pay attention to me, and you’ll do great..” He places his lips against your temple. 

“I’ve never ballroom danced before. They always make it look so… complicated.” You pok at your food some more.

“Not at all. Come here.” He took your hand and pulls you out of your seat. He moves to put on some classical music. 

“Diluc we don’t have to do this right now-” You try to protest but he steppes in front of you, tying up his hair… Your greatest weakness. 

“Relax.” He said softly. “Just a simple waltz.” He takes your right hand in his. “Just place your other hand right beneath my shoulder blade.” You stood chest to chest with him, his hand resting on your back. 

“Seems rather close.” You chuckle and ignore the way he always made your heart race. 

“It’s supposed to be close. Just relax and follow my lead.” He steps slowly, letting you mirror his every move. 

You were starting to get the hang of it, eventually allowing the two of you to step in time to the music drifting softly in the background. “This is it?”

“It would be it if you stopped looking at your feet, darling.” You look up into his eyes only to realize how gently he was looking down at you. His movements are fluid and practiced, allowing him to focus all of his attention on you. Even with your clumsy movement, he looks at you like you are the most graceful thing in all of Teyvat. “You know… I’ve always wanted to dance with you like this.” 

“Diluc…” Your voice was soft, mirroring his loving tone. You move to rest your head on his chest, your hand sliding down from his shoulder blade down to his lower back, pulling him even closer as you continue to follow his steps. 

“I love you.” He whispers against the top of your head. “I love you too…” You nuzzle further into him. “I’m not too good at this, am I?” “Absolutely abysmal. We’ll work on it.” 

[arisuworld]

LAW OF ASSUMPTION: AN EPIPHANY-ⅠⅠⅠ

⋆ ☾ : How to manifest?

In the most simplest way, i am going to tell you how to exactly manifest. This time with no methods and with not even lifting a finger.

ASSUME WHAT YOU WANT TO BE

want that car? assume it. want to be a celebrity? assume it. want to date a celebrity? assume it. want to have your dream desired appearance? assume it, IT'S DONE. That's it, that's actually it.

If you assume your desire and live there as though it were true, no power on earth can stop it from becoming a fact — Neville GODDARD.

Change your conception of yourself and you will automatically change the world in which you live — Neville GODDARD

Your opinion on yourself is your most important viewpoint, you are infinitely greater than you think you are — Neville GODDARD

SO WHAT IS THE LAW?

The law is basically: law of assumption in simple definition is: WHATEVER YOU ASSUME, YOU WILL HAVE IT IN YOUR REALITY. For example if you were assuming into your reality that you own a million dollar house, then BY LAW that million dollar house is yours! you will have it in your reality in no-time.

HOW DO I MANIFEST?

I get this question a lot surprisingly, and its pretty self explanatory by the name. You ASSUME that you have what you want.

ᥫ᭡ :: if you assume your desire and live there as though it were true, no power on earth can stop it from becoming a fact — Neville goddard

(which leads me to my next point)

LIVING IN THE END—

To successfully manifest you must live in the end. You can do many techniques as you please but if you do not maintain living in the end, then....you’re gonna struggle. Living in the end is— going on your day knowing your desire is here. Neville going to barbados is the classic example of living in the end. He mentally operated as though he was in barbados even though he was living in new york, here’s another example.

Let's say, I'm manifesting a romantic partner in my life and i'm no longer in the “WANTING” state and I'm now in the “FULFILLED” state. So, i would think FROM my desire. “everyday ___ texts me” “me and ____” have such a good relationship”

embody

/ɪmˈbɒdi,ɛmˈbɒdi/

be an expression of or give a tangible or visible form to (an idea, quality, or feeling).

WHAT IS PERSISTENCE?

People often confuse persistence with consistently. Affirming 24/7 till they pass out or their head hurts which is so wrong. Persisting isn’t affirming, it's knowing that your desire is inevitable. You feel safe and secure knowing THAT CREATION IS FINISHED. The moment you’ve finished your visualisation, affirmations, SATs or whatever or have just simply stated that your desire is yours then your desire has already been completed. Your “job” is to just continue KNOWING that it’s yours!

WHAT IS THE STATE OF WISH FULFILLNESS?

The state of wish fulfilled is pretty similar to living in the end, and they do go hand in hand. To be in the state of wish of fulfilment, you must ASSUME YOUR DESIRE IS DONE. How would you feel? happy, comfortable, relaxed, satisfied. That's literally it. You’re no longer desiring to manifest because you have finally manifested it.

People confuse the state of wish fulfilment with being happy all the time and that's what they're doing wrong. You do not need to be happy. That phone that’s in your hand you’ve manifested it, were you happy the first time you got it? yeah ofc you did, it's a new phone but soon after a while it felt natural. You were like “yeah thats my phone” you wasn’t like “OMGGG THATS MY PHONE!!!” you knew it was yours and went off.

[shiro-s2e2-erukinzu]

Anime only watchers and people who aren't caught up with the Manga, BEWARE... Cuz I'm about to discuss Spy X Family Mission 93... You have been warned...! 👌

[SPOILERS AHEAD FROM THIS POINT ON]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

IT HAPPENED...! IT FINALLY HAPPENED!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!! 😵

Honestly, words cannot describe how crazy this chapter was, but we're gonna talk about it anyway...!! 👀 LET'S GO!!! 😆

The chapter begins with everyone checking how well they did on finals, and Anya did a whole lot better than last time...!! 😆

I AM SO PROUD OF HER!!! 👏😄

Anya went from 213th to 168th place!! 🎉 Let's hope that Anya continues to improve in the future...!! 😊👍

Then, we finally got to see how well she did in Classical Language and...:

She got second place...!

But, she will still receive a Stella for it!! 👏😆Then, we find out that she got 24 points in math, which is just below the cut off point... Which means...:

So, not only did Anya get a Stella, she ALSO received A TONITRUS BOLT!!? 😵😂🤣😌

GODDAMNIT ANYA!! 😂 That means the score is still tied, but now it's 5 and 5 until she either becomes an Imperial Scholar or gets expelled...!! 😌

Then, we got probably my new favorite Loid expression...:

🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 I'M SO SORRY LOID!!🤣

This poor man can't catch a break, but at he's quite proud of Anya for doing well on the test...!! 😊

After that, we cut to Authens praising Anya as well, but Sigmund says something that intrigues me...:

"...One day you'll experience the frustration of realizing that hard work is not always rewarded..."

Hmm... What could this mean...? Personally, if Sigmund does have something to do with the experiments that were conducted on Anya, then this could be his way of saying that not many know of his scientific experiments... But, that's just a guess at this point and I could very well just be reading too much into this single sentence... 🤔

Moving on, before Anya goes to bed that night Loid asks her a question...:

I was surprised that Twilight asked this!! 😲 But his question turned out to be for naught because Anya doesn't really remember... 😔 So, Twilight just tells her to forget about what he asked and now I'm wondering if this will lead Twilight finding out the truth about Anya's past and that she's a telepath... 🤔

Well anyway, we cut to Anya and Damian receiving Stellas for doing well on the test, and then it's the middle school students turn... AND GUESS WHO SHOWS UP...?! 👀

DEMETRIUS MOTHER F---ING DESMOND!!!😵

AFTER ALL THIS TIME, HE HAS FINALLY APPEARED...!! 👀

I can't believe that I was ACTUALLY RIGHT that he was gonna look more like his dad...! (Check out this post where I drew what I thought he might look like!! 👍)

But to continue, Demetrius is also as strange as his mother and father... ESPECIALLY BECAUSE OF THIS...!!:

After finally getting to meet him and seeing that Anya can't read his mind, my original theory that he might be working with his father, just got thrown out the window...!! Because now, I think that Demetrius has been experimented on... 😥 I hope that I'm wrong, but I just don't know this point...

AND THINK THAT'S ENOUGH ABOUT THIS CHAPTER FOR TODAY!

Today's chapter was excellent, but now that Demetrius has finally shown up, my mind is going crazy about what this ALL MEANS!😫

Anyway, I think I'll stop for today and possibly regroup with myself to figure out WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE DESMONDS!! (Except for Damain, who is the only normal one there..! 🥲) So until the next Mission or if I try attempt to figure out what is up with the Desmonds; take care, be safe out there and be kind to one another...!! Later!! 👍

[erinartemis]

OMGOMGOMGKFMSGSKB IM FREAKING OUT IT'S HERE!!! MURDER DRONES EPISODE 7 TEASER!! EEEEEE!!! I went frame by frame and picked out some cool scenes I wanted to scream about, so get ready for a bunch of crazed ramblings and some theories !! (Long post ahead, folks)

Okay first of all- just- the lighting in these shots ✨ simply gorgeous... Also that "poster" thing in the background of the first image is very interesting.. obviously it says HELP (though that looks scrawled-on afterward with probably blood), and it looks like there could be possibly eyes? EDIT: it's not eyes it's two drones standing !!!

Also can we appreciate how creepy cool that hole in the ground is :00

THEIR ROOMS! THE SILLIES' ROOMS!!! WHAT SECRETS DO THEY HOLD?? I hope we find out

EDIT: THEY'RE LOCKERS NOT ROOMS OOPSIES

Good to see we've still got a bit of that classic md humor: "not to be overdramatic but core collapse" xd

N oh no N IS HE OKAY?? what am I talking about ofc he's not (I'm going to cry at this episode)

OKAY NEXT-

This thing. What is this thing. Probably part of the Solver, as it's all organic and eldritch-y, and it has veins. It looks lit from behind, almost like we're looking out from the inside of something? I think it's possible somebody gets dragged into one of those physical manifestations of the Solver, and this could be their perspective from inside it! Oooor we're looking at it from the outside, and there's something glowing inside the mass.

Next up, these guys??? So many possibilities here... They look like humans, but they aren't necessarily so, just like the "Tessa Isn't Human" theory. And from what little you can see in the teaser, they are moving in an odd way- suspicious. I originally thought they could be manifestation of the Solver or something, created to confuse, but after considering it for a bit, I realized it's more likely this scene is a flashback to when the core collapsed.

SOLVERUZISOLVERUZISOLVER- OHHHH BOY SOLVER UZI

Okay. This shot is a bit confusing; can't really make out what's going on- To me, it looks like something is possibly exploding? And the red string things are lasers or something? Also the blobs in the foreground definitely look like Solver hands, but- that's all I've got for this one

Tessa. Tessatessatessa tessa are you pulling a sword on Uzi? oh no, you are, aren't you, ohh no

WHAT DID UZI SEE. ON THAT TV SCREEN. HELP SHE LOOKS SO TRAUMATIZED- Also also wanted to point out the "freaking ninja star" on the ground.. little callback there :,)

the crucifix will be important, oo religious imageryyy eee

DOG.

Small thing, this is clearly the same scene from the GLITCHx 7/8 teaser, but it's the shot from a little bit before the clip in that teaser plays. I wonder how much control Uzi has over herself at this point... These robots are going to so much pain someone help them

norinorinori nori I'M SO READY FOR THE LORE AND FLASHBACKS EEEE

OMGOMGOGMOGMOMG YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HYPED I WAS WHEN I SAW THIS- WE'RE GETTING MURDER N YALL!!! FIRST TIME SINCE THE PILOT EEEE!!! Oh my gosh I just KNOW it's going to be an emotional response to something horrible happening- something to do with Uzi getting fully possessed, or almost dying, or N THINKING she's dead, or just all the stress of EVERYTHING, along with V's (hopefully not actually) death, and it just pushes him to his breaking point OH AND all the repressing he's been doing this whole time WILL NOT BE HELPING WITH THAT !!! I'm SO EXCITED TO FIND OUT AAAA-

Oh it could also be that N gets factory-reset, causing him to actually lose his memories or something, which is AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT PILE OF ANGST, but personally I hope/think it'll be closer to the first one... It seems very likely to me that all of the stuff N's been going through (and how he's just been pretending everything's fine) would catch up to him, and it would lead to an "outburst" of everything he's been bottling up. PLUS do y'all remember that merch ad?? I know it was just a promo, but merch stuff has been shown to be kind of relevant to the plot in the past soo... yeah I'm feeling very good about this theory-

Okay so this is the same guy from the earlier image with all the humans- That feels notable, like they're going to be important. And is it just me and my poor video quality or does the Sentinel hand look glitchy?? Could it have turned on the humans like the one that turned on "Tessa" in Cabin Fever??

Oh dear, that's oil (or blood; they whole thing's too red to tell) coming from Uzi's eye... Feeling like the same thing that happened to Doll happens to Uzi... agh the ANGST hdfbsjsb

DOOOOOLL DOLL DOLL !!! SHE'S THERE !! I THINK SHE HAS BUTCHER KNIVES AGAIN !! I wonder who she's fighting... (I mean it could be a sentinel, but it looks like she's talking, so I'm guessing it's one of the group) ee I'm excited to see where Doll's character goes from here !!

ALLLLRIGHTY!! This has been a breakdown of my personal thoughts on the teaser! I am SOOO excited; these next two weeks need to go by FAST but ik they won't- Anyways... thanks for reading ! :D

[thumpypuppy]

oo! your last ask was really interesting! do you have anything to say on the relation between the various Loop related tracks?

it’s very cool that you’re talking about your music in such a way, thank you for engaging with this community!

So Loop's theme is just kinda silly weird mysterious. There's a chromatic walkup at the beginning of the melody because weird and silly.

Loop's hangout is one of the few tracks written by Alice Liston, who is no longer with the studio, but she's an incredibly talented composer who took a lot of the fundamental aspects of the original song and turned it into something dreamy, which I emphasized with some unique instrumentation.

Spoilers ahead:

The Loop fight is yet another one of my MEGA BATTLE compositions where I go ham because it's a fight song and I have to do way too much.

We start with that chromatic walk up in our classic title theme synth and immediately launch into Sandra's intense drums backed with Spitfire Audio's Albion ONE strings to fill out some space.

There are a couple of wild synth solos here written again by Alice Liston, and the drums move into a standard time with a staggered syncopation before jumping back into double time on the riff. Toward the end we build into a kind of combination prog rock EDM drop, and then…

Lo-fi! We take everything down here to a more sonically simplified version using some synth guitar designed in MASSIVE, a couple of simple wave forms, and some bit-crushed drums. We also introduce a new simple counter-melody here with a fairly straightforward motif we repeat while the exact notes change depending on the chord. We're still riffing on Loop's theme at this point, but we're adding some more context.

(Side-note: If you're interested in emulating vintage consoles of a particular era, one of the most important things to look up is the system's sample rate and bit depth! I'm 37 so "vintage" in this case is like… Commodore 64, NES, SNES, PS1, Sega Genesis, Neo-Geo, etc. It's also important to look up for something like the N64 where a lot of the sound design came from, like a lot of DX7 presets.)

Now with a powerful fill from the live kit we come back to our normal instrumentation, restating our previous section. Toward the end of this section we slowly build in our strings ramping up to a half-time breakdown that will lead into a totally new part.

The strings build intensity while also taking the responsibility of playing our main Loop melody, and we throw in a Dormont-style counter-melody to add to a sense of nostalgia as we ramp up our heart-string tugging.

Next, we bring in lead guitar-style synth to double our Loop melody that's playing in the strings to add an extra helping of epicness because come on, an electric guitar playing over the soprano part of a string section is like pique epic/dramatic.

Meanwhile the drums are still going in half-time to give it a breakdown feel (especially leaning on that china cymbal to give it a classic death metal breakdown feel), but at this point we're starting to get more embellishments and double kicks to make use of the space left to build further intensity until we hit that 80s metal crash mute and pause for emphasis, and then tom roll into our next section.

With the break into a new section we're saying NO MORE! We're getting serious now! We have a lovely riff written by Sadie Greyduck, which has a really uncomfortable and tense progression built into it that's emphasized by the strings that have moved to the very high soprano range to keep tension.

Then on our next repeat we jump into yet another solo! This one was partially written by Alice Liston, but ultimately I ended up fitting it into context and completing it. One thing you'll notice here is that there are a lot of passing tones and chromatic walk-ups to emphasize the Loop-ness of the situation.

Now we're jumping into yet another me(n)tal breakdown! This is more riffing on the Loop melody, but then we hear that brass section jump in! We're moving forward and doing a little more light riffing while the rest of the band takes us home in a slightly stronger and more triumphant fashion.

Finally we pick up the pace and we're back to our old classic, the title theme, but it's add odds with the context it exists in and starts to move in a spacier direction, eventually morphing back into Loop's theme.

For the album version we put a cap on it with a piano restatement of the beginning of the song!

(Also I finally looked it up and the other piano I used besides Spitfire Labs "Soft Piano" is Native Instruments "The Gentleman".)

Honestly I love fight/boss themes so much and they're always so fun to work on because I can go ham and the people I work with can do some of their more extreme work, plus it's always an excuse for Sandra to go nuts on the drums.

Thank you so much for sending in your ask! We're always so happy to get these and to hear how much our work has affected so many people! 🐶����

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Keep Thinking About Gale x Single Mom!Tav

A/N: Shout-out to @leighsartworks216 for letting me ramble to them about it. I just need to get all this stuff rattling around in my brain out.

I know, I know, Gale repeatedly says he's not father material, but have you considered that I want him to be a dad anyway and it's cute

So in my brain this single mom is named Gwen (Guinevere); a half-elf, wild magic sorceress

She came from a fairly well to do family, married a handsome and acceptably rich merchant and soon had a child on the way

Problems came when she gave birth to a healthy baby girl, who also happened to be a teifling

Seen as a bad omen, both her family and husband wanted her to give up the child, she refused causing her husband to leave her and her family to reject her

She didn't let that stop her though and soon she found a new home for her and Clara

Over the next eight years she worked hard to build a life for herself and make sure Clara never doubted for a moment she was loved

Gwen knew the world would be hard on her girl, so she made a point to build up her confidence and teach her it's never wrong to fight back when people are treating you unfairly; you can't take that shit lying down

Blunt and a bit intense, Gwen has seen and done plenty of shit and thought she finally had a handle on her life; and then she got kidnapped by illithids

Still haven't played the game, so I can't give a play by play of every interaction, but I do know early game she would be a bit distracted

Obviously her first goal is to figure out if her daughter is okay so it frankly is the only thing on her mind until she gets her hand on a sending scroll or something like it

Only after does she confirm that Clara is safe and with people she trusts can she focus on the task at hand

Takes a liking to Gale basically from the word go; he's respectful, he know hows to cook, he keeps making comments about his tongue, there is only so much a woman can handle

Gods know it has been a while since she's gotten laid

He starts rambling about magic and she can't not fuck him

Gale is hesitant at first because first the orb, second Gwen has made no secret she had a child and Gale doesn't see himself as father material, and three because he does really, really like her and doesn't want to make promises he can't keep

I'd say they're able to meet Clara before they head come to Baldur's Gate so Gale and the rest can meet her earlier; and to give Gwen some peace of mind

Clara is a very curious and headstrong, both of which Gale can appreciate; he can see why Gwen was so determined to get back to her, which only makes him admire her more

Also, quick aside about the rest of the companions; Wyll and Karlach would be ready to baby sit at any given moment, Lae'zel admires the child's fighting spirit and absolutely gifted her a sword, Shadowheart enjoys her more mischievous tendencies, and Astarion is classic wine aunt who hates all kids except Clara (he's been helping her stage of coup of the swing set)

Eventually feelings are confessed between Gale and Gwen leading to a proper relationship (and Gwen actually getting laid)

Gwen is absolutely not having it with him trying to blow himself up or becoming a god

Mystra: You must destroy yourself and the orb. Gale: Alright, let me ask Gwen. Mystra: No, that's not--. Gale: She said no.

Once everything is said and done, I'm going back and forth on if they would settle in Waterdeep

Clara has friends and it would be hard to ask her to leave, but I think Gale could compromise and get a position at a different magical university closer by

Either way, Gale settles into the domestic life rather nicely and dives head first into being the best father to Clara he can be

He absolutely devours every parenting book he can get his hands on, only to throw it all out the window once he's actually in it; Gwen did warn him, but old habits and all that

Probably waits a little longer to actually get married to see how they all function as a family together first; plus he wants to properly ask Clara if she's okay with him marrying her mother

I've got other random thoughts, but that about covers it for now, if you want to know more, feel free to drop an ask! I'm up for anything.

[toxicrivalries]

hey lovely, are you able to explain the real madrid hatred for a football noob?

(i follow you for f1 and am a nosey bitch)

Okay let me preface all of this with this fact: i support Real Madrid's bitter rivals, FC Barcelona. I've supported them since i was a little baby learning what football was and could hear the stadium down the road. Just for that and that alone, I would hate Real Madrid, regardless of what they were like as a football club.

So apparently I have so much to say. I will put it under a readmore.

Luckily for us, they give plenty of reasons for hatred. Let's address stuff from the beginning. The "real" in Real Madrid means royal. They got were bestowed it by the king in the 1920s. While not directly a critique of the spanish royal family (since I am not spanish and cannot speak to the broader feelings on the matter of the monarchy), this is the beginning of a pattern with Real Madrid and their relationship to governments, governing bodies, and power.

Especially, when you learn the next point. Franco, of spanish dictatorship fame, was a madrid supporter. Now, whether or not he arranged for game results to go in his clubs favour, or if the knowledge that the country's bloodthirsty dictator supported this football club made referees think twice about making decisions that would be unfavourable for the club, it doesn't matter. The end result was the same: Real Madrid benefited from this, with trophies (and the prize money that accompanies those), with results, and with prestige. This isn't to say Madrid didn't win anything before, they did, they're one of the 3 teams that have never been relegated (dropped down to a lower dicision) in the history of Spanish football. But looking at games under Franco, the results tell their own story.

That's our background. Let's talk more present day. So in football, one of the biggest competitions for clubs (as opposed to national teams) is the Champions League. The Champions League is a competition organised by UEFA (the european football governing body) in which the top teams across Europe compete for a trophy, for one team to be crowned champions of Europe. Real Madrid have won this 15 times since the competition started, in its current and previous forms. No other club comes close to that number, the runners up (AC Milan) have 7 to their name. Impressive numbers, no? Let's take a closer look at when these 15 were won.

As we can see this is essentially three dominant periods (one of which was during the early days where only one team per nation qualified and also overlaps with Franco's Spain meaning Real Madrid qualified through preferential treatment in Spain).

The more recent ones are more fascinating though. So, the current day philosophy (from 2000-onwards) that Madrid have towards football, is to build a team full of superstars, who are often referred to as 'Galacticos', through marquee signings and a frankly eye-watering amount of money. A lot of clubs try to replicate this approach with significantly less success, so I must hand it to Madrid, whatever it is they're doing, it works.

(Personally, I'm more a fan of giving your academy products a chance to grow and thrive, but I'm also spoilt on the matter by being a Barcelona fan and my club having arguably the best football academy of the world, so the quality of the academy products is guaranteed to be incredibly high.)

This approach also leads to a lot of prima donna figures in the dressing room, who are then reinforced by the club mentality that they're the worlds most special football players, and deserve to win every award under the sun. And sometimes, yeah, they do, I won't argue they don't. But not always.

This brings us to the most recent drama. So there's two elements to it, I think.

One of them is the result from the game on Saturday. Barcelona played Real Madrid, in Madrid's own stadium. The Barcelona - Madrid match up, often referred to as el clasico (the classic), is always a huge game. There's many many things tied into that rivalry, including bragging rights, politics, a long and sordid and bitter history between the two clubs, opposing football world views approaches and philosophies. More often than not, the two games between these two teams are what ends up determining who will be crowned spanish champions at the end of the season. This most recent el clasico ended 0-4 in Barcelona's favour. To understand how much of a whitewash that is, here is the 3 most frequent scorelines in football:

So obviously, Madrid limped away from this game with their pride in bad shape. It doesn't help that during the game, the guy they recently signed (Kylian Mbappe), who was meant to make their already very strong attacking even stronger, delivered an absolute stinker of a game. Arguably, adding him to the mix has thrown off the carefully balanced Madrid Soup. (You won't hear me complaining! Keep being offside forever, Kylian!)

And then we get to Monday. Monday was the Football Awards Ceremony for the previous season (seasons run from mid august through to late may, with the big international tournaments like the world cup and regional ones like the Euros or the Copa America taking place in june-july).

Now there's an award called the ballon d'or (lit. the golden ball) that is given to the best player of the previous season. It is voted on by journalists from all the UEFA member states, and there's criteria they have to consider when casting their vote. Obviously, there's been dubious decisions in the past, such as the year UEFA decided the 22 world cup should be counted in the 2023 award to then give Messi his 8th ballon d'or (let it never be said that I am not aware of when calls are made to benefit my club or the players I like).

Anyway, several of Madrid's players, including Vinicious Jr. were up for consideration for this award. Vini was in wonderful form last season, and deserved to be in contention for the award. I will say that much. But then starts the embarrassing behaviour.

Monday morning, Vini & Madrid announced they wouldn't be going to the awards ceremony. There had been whispers that the person who would win the ballon d'or was Rodri, a midfielder for Manchester city and Spain, who won the english premier league, and the euros in this past season.

Here's a summary of all the silly behaviour in Madrid's camp, summarised by the Athletic:

Anyway, to me, considering everything, considering Madrid's general history and cosyness to power, and how they handle their players, this is both insanely boneheaded and spoilt behaviour, and the funniest thing they could have done.

I hope that sums things up, and if you have more follow up questions, please feel free to ask.

[palmviolet]

okay, as promised (thank you @madsmilfelsen for the encouragement lmao) post rewatch thoughts on true detective ep2:

— the landscape becomes more prevalent in this episode, or maybe i'm just more aware of it. it feels like nearly every scene we get a long, sweeping shot of the bayou, of the oil refineries, of the tangled roads like clogged-up arteries connecting to the heartland. these shots are often panning shots, the kind that in this genre we'd expect to be revealing something. standing right there, we think, will be the next clue — we just have to wait for the camera to reach it. this is a microcosm of the detective genre as a whole, the structure of a medium that reveals and solves truth. but TD has a troubled relationship with the camera and the filmed medium (panning away from the camera screen in ep1, the fontenot tape that 'no one should have' and indeed becomes a weapon against geraci, dora's mother saying “i saw it on the television, i prayed for that woman’s family, and it’s me.”) and its own genre in general. it won't be so easy as panning to the culprit — instead, the camera remains stubbornly fixed on the emptiness of a oily, polluted landscape, and gradually we begin to accept that landscape (cancer alley, one of america's most literal expression of the slow violence of capitalism) as a culprit in itself. this is reflected in the title sequence, which uses richard misrach's photography of petrochemical america.

(a great reference for the role of oil in true detective is Byrnes, Delia. “‘I Get a Bad Taste in My Mouth Out Here’: Oil’s Intimate Ecologies in HBO’s True Detective.” The Global South 9, no. 1 (2015): 86–106. https://doi.org/10.2979/globalsouth.9.1.07.)

— this is also connected to the pollution of the body. dora's mom gets headaches like 'storms' from the chemicals she was exposed to working in dry cleaning; dora's ramblings about the yellow king in her diary lead marty to say 'fried her brain, whatever she was on'; the whole episode deals with rust's 'neural damage' and visions from his time working narco. the brain is a permeable membrane that can be polluted just like the landscape — and it is that pollution, rust's 'mainlining the secret truths of the universe', that leads him to the mural on the wall of the church, the classical climactic reveal we expect in the detective genre. but it's not good old fashioned police work or sheer brilliance that gets him there — it's the chemical damage done to him by his trauma, his environment, and his job as police.

— speaking of, this episode is where marty's good-guy persona rapidly falls away and becomes something quite sinister. already, TD is taking aim at the copaganda myths of the troubled cop who needs to come home to unwind, party to horrors beyond imagining. he presents these excuses to maggie and they cut no ice, because they're fiction, because when he's out late he's actually just drinking and cheating on his wife.

— this is made most explicit in the juxtaposition of rust buying pills from a sex worker while marty has sex with lisa. marty brings handcuffs to the encounter; he intends them to be used on lisa, but lisa uses them on him instead, cuffing him as she recites his miranda rights just the way a cop would. meanwhile, rust tells lucy that of course he's dangerous; he's police. 'i can do terrible things to people with impunity.' he doesn't hurt her, but he could. and marty does not contradict this; he lets lisa cuff him and 'arrest' him only because she can't in reality. later on, when he uses his badge against the guy she's sleeping with from the longhorn, this reversal of power is revealed to be not a reversal at all. it's the same as when the bikers dress up as cops and rust becomes a cop pretending to be a biker pretending to be a cop; at a certain point, it all collapses and reveals police authority to be not innate and integral but in fact malleable, corrupt, and invariably performed for sexual and violent gratification.

— there remains a remove, however. as with the shots of the landscape, we mainly experience the louisiana environment as scenery speeding past while rust and marty drive. we experienced this with the glimpse of the girl (sophia's ghost?) in the first episode; we see this again at the start of ep2, when a group of young girls are smoking, scantily clad, on the side of the road and marty shoots them a troubled look through the window as they go past. it encapsulates his control issues as they unfold in this episode and beyond — that he has the desire to rescue, but really control, women's 'purity' and sexuality, but he can't. either he has to drive right on past or he has to give them a 'down payment' which will result in sexual favours later down the line. there is no way of leveraging his masculine cop authority that is not corrupt.

stay tuned for tomorrow night's round of Thoughts on ep3!

[sugar-grigri]

I loved Salty Grigri! You know, agreeing with everything you said, it seems to me also that the pacing is bizarrely slow but rushed - in just a few chapters we went from the alley to Nayuta's severed head. And I'm here questioning if we shouldn't have addressed some little things along the way? This loss of pacing has turned it believable that some scenes were added for shock value instead of storytelling

I'm glad you like my alter ego... And again he was kind in terms of reviews, I still want to be consensual lol 

Why does Part 2 sometimes seem... hard to follow? 

To answer what you say, and without making a bad psychological analysis, I think Fujimoto is sometimes a prisoner of CSM. Let me explain, I have the feeling that in part 1, we're dealing with an author who writes HIS own work. CSM's identity was in the making, the tone, the characters, the references that would become fandom classics. This allowed him to work on a neutral ground, free of all expectations. Part 2 is incredibly difficult, because I think (and I blame) Fujimoto can't free himself from Part 1. To the point, where I have a theory that links the two enormously. 

But this isn't just reflected from a narrative point of view, it's also reflected in an author's psychology. Sometimes I get the impression that Fujimoto isn't writing HIS work, but CSM.

I understand Fujimoto that we just have to listen to the song, but aren't you yourself a prisoner of it?

"Of course Fujimoto writes CSM, it's his work". That's right. It's his work. In progress. We know what CSM was, it remains to be seen how the work will turn out. The identity of a work is in the process of evolving until the end of the story. Not before.

What has made CSM so popular are the extremely striking scenes, whether absurd, shocking or tragic. Sometimes more moments than characters or the story as a whole. So when I read CSM, I get the impression that Fujimoto, while having a clear plot for the story as a whole, thinks and writes from moment to moment, scene to scene. I'm sure people will say: at what point does an author do anything other than lead one scene to another? 

It's quite subtle, but instead of thinking about how the story is going to connect the scenes, Fujimoto seems to have thought out the scenes in advance, and the transitions are more improvised. or even secondary, which makes it rather difficult to understand the evolution of the work, as the highlights seem to be more scattered than connected per se. 

And that's what detracts from Part 2, the story doesn't flow, it's choppy and confusing at times. Especially the interludes, the transitions are a time for the characters to come to terms with what's happened. Instead of shifting from one narrative rhythm to another in the form of a cursor, the rhythm is switched on or off by a button, which accentuates the acceleration or loss of rhythm felt by fans. 

Part 1 took this care as the beginning of Part 2.

Our current arcs don't. They debrief in the same chapters that will lead to shocking scenes.

Chapter 168 is an exemple. Fujimoto closes an important scene, while debriefing the characters extremely quickly, as with Denji, and redoing an important scene with Asa hitting herself, instead of taking more time to deal with all these elements. Still in the same chapter, the characters board the train to the next important scene in the next chapter.

Several narrative functions (closing action, character debriefing, transition) are superimposed in a single chapter (or a maximum of two/three chapters). This not only makes the story unpredictable, it also makes it difficult to understand. 

Thinking like this shows that Fujimoto thinks more about what CSM is - scenes replayed by the networks with fans losing their minds - than he does about his own work. Fujimoto is sometimes stuck in the reception of his work. And don't get me wrong, no scene is there just to get people talking and to be edgy. CSM is always brilliantly written, and the meaning often lies in the absurdity. But the lack of transition, or at least work on that, makes the work seem like a compilation of highlights. Which again reduces their impact. 

It's essential for a work of art to be forgotten, to put the balm on extremely memorable scenes so as to make future ones more unpredictable.

[levikra]

I have Acute Lymphoblastic Leukosis aka Blood Cancer

buckle up :D

This post should've been here for sometime now cuz I prefer keeping everyone updated across all the platforms that I use as an artist.

So - Hi! My name is Evein, on 1st of May 2023 I turned 21 and since then, from 5th of May my health decided to pull a quick one on me, propelling the events that currently make me reside at the hospital with an oncology.

It all started with a tonsillitis-like fever, accompanied by furunclosis in three places on my body, a high fever that lasted for 5 days in the first half of May itself and other unpleasant symptoms. It felt weird, I've never had such an intense streak of sicknesses kick my ass like that, but of course - I went to doctors to get checked, the classic blood testings and general examinations and stuff.

That's when on 10th of May my blood test was checked by a dermatologist regarding my furuncle problem and - after some brief moments of her talking with the main doctor at the clinic - I was rushed to the governmential hospital due to the fact that my blood results had... no white blood cells. Literally 1.83 at the accepted range being much higher than that.

Needless to say I was fucking shocked, I've never dealt with the severity of the situation and let alone while being completely on my own as a human person (working, living, providing for myself, you call it).

At the hospital, after several examinations and another blood test came the recommendation paper that doctors signed with urgency, first and foremost I needed to get to an appointment at the hematologist's. That I did on 14th of May and since that point of time, till 19th, I'd been monitored, given antibiotics for my tonsillitis-like symptoms, along with my furunclosis and after 19th we ruled out the condition to be leukosis, became my white blood cells started coming back to normal with the antibiotics aiding my immunity, but despite that - thr condition still seemed as something more reminiscent of mononucleosis (which, however, in another blood test was disproven).

After exactly a week of feeling better, albeit dealing with leftover anemia, I started developing the same symptoms back and even worse, to the point of losing consciousness and thrwoing up in an elevator on 29th of May after going out for the second pack of antibiotics my hematologist had then already approved of to use to help out.

That's when I was rushed to the hospital again and - the next day - my hematologist arranged an appointment at the big clinic that has an oncology ward specifically for my situation. On 1st of June I was officially admitted with Acute Leukosis (the diagnosis doc attached is in Russian).

Since 1st of June the treatment has been ongoing, I've received three rounds of chemo along with supporting hormonal abd antibiotic therapy. Me is balding too, ofc. :D

And thus, this story leads to a logical question - what's now?

It's day 24 of my treatment, out of 4-6 weeks of inital induction period of leukosis' treatment (the overall chemotherapy to destroy tumor cells down to <5% in my bone marrow). After the induction period, if it's proven to lead to remissions - I'm then admitted out to certain periods of time in between infusions + need to take supporting medicine by myself (hence buying it too).

As an independent freelance artist who's existence is tied to being able to do creative work out of, well, any circumstances, I was sadly forced into situation of asking for monetary support, simply because it's stupid to expect to break your own back trying to work harder when you're body is collapsing on itself.

I have a goal on Boosty open for donations and I deeply appreciate ANY and I mean ANY traction of this post. I made a similar thread on Twitter covering the situation and have recieved a lotnof incredible support that has helped me a LOT so far, but my treatment is ongoing, or to be precise - will last in its entirety for 2-3 years. With the momentary help I was able to secure my living situation and get my pet cat to live for the current time period at my friend's, but you understand how that is just a temporary measure and, of course, I don't plan on stall myself - I simply just can't afford that even while hospitalised.

BOOSTY is very sus when it comes to singular donations higher than 120$ but if you happen to donate below that or in several different ones to bypass their antifraud system (only if you wish to) - the link to a goal is here -

[demontime09]

Faded - chapter 3

.•°●°•.☆☆☆.•°●°•.

_____________________________________

I wake up, my mouth dry as fuck. I groan and sit up, my sheets are a mess, Chris's clothes on the ground. I sit for a second, rubbing my eyes, yawning, and it hits me.

Chris kissed me before he left. He held my hands, told me I did good, let me cuddle him, and then he..

He kissed me. And once again I am reminded that through everything, even with his problems and his troublesome actions, I know he cares about me. And that is enough for me to stay.

I get up, order breakfast, make coffee, and while eating I notice we never finished the joint. It's sitting in my ash stray completely put out. "That doesn't make sense. That was- that's his weed." I thought. I creep over and see, a note?? "Finish this off for me, ma. -C" I can't help but smile cheesily.

It's just like Chris to gift me leftover weed.

My phone chimes. It's my friend Eve.

"Theres a party tonight

at my place Char,

ur man might be there too"

"Thanks but I might skip"

Read 12:13

My shoulders slump. I always hate letting down my friends but partying with Chris means I'll have to take care of him and ill be anxious all night. Which isn't all bad, I do love making sure hes all right. I'd just rather pick him up and do it in my own home.

My phone chimes again.

"Cmon Char, we miss you."

I huff out a sigh, I miss them too.

"Okay you've

convinced me, what time?"

Chris's POV

I have 0 clue where I am. My eyes focus on the object in front of me. Furry.. gray, it squeaks. My face scrunches as I sit up, disgusted. UGH that's like the biggest rat I've ever seen in my life. I find my footing, the pounding pain in my head worsening. Where's Charlotte with a glass of water and medicine when I need her. Charlotte. Where is Charlotte? At home I assume. I feel my pants for my phone, it's not there. I panic for a second before I see it on the ground a few feet away.

It takes about 30 seconds for my eyes to focus on my phone and 30 more seconds for my thumbs to move across the screen. I'm definitely high.. when did I get high? I blink a bunch and as I'm about to call Char my phone chimes. It's my old friend Eve from highschool.

Eve

Chris come to my party tonight.

Char will be there.

Alr

Read 12:30

Oh god Charlotte, she's all I need right now.

She'll know what to do, I think as I stumble back to my car.

I call her as soon as I'm sat in the driver's seat.

"Hello?"

"You home?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I'm coming over, I need some help ma."

And with that I hang up and almost speed to her house.

Before i get there, I pick up a bottle of rum and scotch, my favorites. Along with a huge can of pepsi. Why not start the party a little early?

I'm smart enough not to drink while driving, but as soon as I get into Charlotte's house I'm mixing my drink and chugging it to dull the pain in my head. She tiptoes out to me, looking as gorgeous as ever, but I'd never say that out loud.

I kiss her lazily on the temple. "Hey ma" "what do you need help with?" She immediately asks. Straight to the point, classic Char. "I jus' don't feel great and I need to be okay for that party tonight" I cringe at how needy I sound but Charlotte's eyes brighten immediately. "What kind of help?" She asks gently.

The alcohol must take affect very fast because before I know it my lips make contact with hers as my hand grabs the back of her head. I tilt it back to get a better angle as my other arm snakes around her waist, and then on her ass, and the back of her thighs. We smash against the fridge and she yelps on impact.

I pull back, nod toward the bedroom, my chest heaving. She looks a mess but it's so so hot. I take her hand and lead her there, where I spend the next 30 minutes inside her. She takes me from behind like she always does, I'm not an intimacy guy. And once I'm done she doesn't try to ask for aftercare or cuddle. She lays there for a short time before cleaning herself up, redressing, and waiting for my next move.

"Um, yk ma, I wish I could stick around but I-" "I know." She cuts me off. Her face neutral. "Alright, I'll see you at that party later then.." she smiles, her eyes tired. I leave quickly and for the 1 thousandth time, cuss myself out for not being different for her.

Authors note :3

Don't start complaining abt how the sex scene had no detail, there will be more. 😈😈

[guppygiggles]

Like Real People Do, Part 4! ♡ (Casper x Avery)

☁️ Summary: Casper and Avery's relationship grows. Avery comes over to watch a movie that has an unexpected *scene* for Casper. Shenanigans ensue.

☁️ Warnings: Suggestive, very romantic, STUPID gay, the tickles you've been waiting for™, classic Avery teasing -- ABSOLUTELY NO MINORS

☁️ Author's Note: If you feel like I didn't go off the rails enough here, stay tuned because I swear to god, I'm just getting started~

This is a series now!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4 *you are here

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

If you just got here and want to know more about my characters, you can read my comic starting right here!

Avery came to visit me the night after we went to the fair. And the next. And the next. 

Occasionally we'd skip a day or two, if he was working on research late into the night, or if I had after-hours systems testing at my job, but before long we had spent the equivalent of a week together. Then a month. Then two. 

Sometimes I would cook for him, helping him experience all the culinary delights he had denied himself due them being “unnecessary” pleasures. He found most dry food intolerable, but he loved all kinds of soup, fruit, and especially ice cream. I made sure to always have a case of sparkling water on-hand, too, just for him. 

Some nights, he would take me back to his lighthouse and we would spend the evening together there, sipping tea and playing board games on his tiny kitchen table (Avery usually won). We shared affectionate hugs and glances. Sometimes, he would touch my hand across the kitchen table as I pored over how to beat him at cards, making me lose my concentration. He always carried me home before it got too late. 

When we weren't together, we texted; sweet greetings, inside jokes, photos from our lives. We playfully competed against each other for who could make the most bored face while working, or who could take a prettier sunset picture. True to his word, he also texted me when he needed things; strange mechanical parts, books about advanced scientific concepts, refills for his tea cabinet. 

I let him take point and followed his lead, never initiating, allowing him to discover and express his feelings in his own time. He was shy, but he could be playful at times, too – I wasn't sure if he knew it, but his teasing flustered me out of my wits. I was fairly certain he didn't know about… that, but there had been some close calls; a good-natured nudge to the ribs that sent me reeling, or a hug that ended with his fingertips lightly grazing my sides. I recalled one incident at the movie theatre when he whispered a little too close to my ear, necessitating me to hold my breath until he was done speaking. That time, I thought I wouldn't make it. 

It was autumn, my favorite season. I had not grown up around deciduous trees, and I was delighted to watch the foliage in Port Oleander cycle through a rainbow of warm hues. The sun was beginning to set as I stood in my kitchen, gently stirring a pot of homemade miso soup – Avery's favorite – when my phone buzzed. 

What are you doing, dewdrop? 

makin soup for you :3 

Ooh, what kind? 

its a surprise!! 

I'm sure I'll love it. 

Hey, I wanted to ask you something… Do you want me to stay the night tonight? 

“Wow,” I thought. That was a big step for Avery. We'd cuddled a bit before, but not in bed, and we'd never spent the night, either. My heart beat a bit faster. What if I did something embarrassing in my sleep? Would he notice if I wasn't wearing my binder? Would he care? 

I took a bit too long to answer, so he followed with:

If you're not comfortable, I totally understand. 

no!! i would love for you to stay over. my beds not as big as yours but i think it's comfy.

Sounds good! I can't wait to see you, dewdrop. I'm bringing a movie to watch. 

which one!!! 

Hehe… it's a surprise. 

can't wait💙

+++ 

It wasn't long before Avery arrived. As I opened the door, I grinned at the sight of him in his fall outfit. It was the first really cold day of autumn, and he'd worn an alpine sweater, a blue scarf, and jeans instead of his usual slacks. I rushed into his huge embrace, burying my face in his soft chest. He was especially tall and fluffy that day – I estimated he was about six-foot-five (195cm ♡) – which told me he was well-hydrated and full of energy. I inhaled as I nuzzled into his chest -- he smelled like cloves and old books. 

“Hello, dewdrop,” he said fondly, squeezing me close to him and stroking my hair. “It smells wonderful in here." He took a seat on the couch, setting a DVD on the coffee table. 

“It'll be done soon! Are you hungry?”

“Casper, I'm always hungry when you're cooking.” 

I giggled, sampling the soup as I walked over to him. “Is this the movie you brought?”

“Yes, I wasn't sure if you'd seen it, but you said you liked old animated films. This is one of my favorites, so I thought I'd share it with you.”

It was a copy of The Secret of NIMH. It made sense that Avery liked it – understandably, he had a penchant for fringe science and supernatural concepts.

“Oh, I love this movie!” I had a copy of it, too, but it was in storage somewhere. 

I brought two bowls of soup over to the couch. Though I was pleased with how it came out, I wasn't particularly hungry; I was too riled up, thinking about Avery staying the night. I noticed that he'd brought a canvas bag with him. I wondered what his pajamas looked like. I wondered about a lot of other things, too. 

“Ahh, you scamp, this is my favorite! Thank you for making it, it's delicious,” Avery chirped, sipping the clear broth greedily. I never tired of watching him eat; the liquid entering his mouth and then being swept up in the swirling vortex of his head, disappearing in an instant. The hot soup made him steam a bit, little whips of vapor rising from his skin. 

I put the movie in and turned off the light, snuggling into his side. Though his sweater was soft, I wished that I could feel his bare arm instead as he wrapped it around me. His cool fingers rested on my forearm, and I could feel the wind rushing beneath his skin. 

We watched the movie quietly, every now and then making comments on the score and animation of the Don Bluth film.

“Justin reminds me of you,” I said, grinning. 

“Oh, really? Hehe. He is charming, isn't he? He's just like me, for real.” Avery put his hands on his hips and struck a playfully haughty pose, just like in Justin's introduction scene. The temptation to take him down a peg was immense, but somehow, I resisted. 

“Dude, you cannot pull off slang like that at all,” I said, laughing. 

“Got you to giggle though, didn't I?” 

I blushed, but summoned some confidence and fired back anyway. 

“Pfff. Just like Mr. Ages said about Justin, you're a feather-head, too.” 

Avery laughed openly, causing me to get a terrible case of butterflies as he trembled against my body. 

“I can't argue with that,” he said. 

We watched the movie a while longer. The scene with Jenner in the auditorium ended, and the next scene featuring Jeremy started to play. He was tangled up in his string, as usual, and was involved in some banter with the suspicious old shrew, who was admonishing him for sneaking around. She paced back and forth on screen, rigging up Jeremy's string to nearby branches and hoisting him into the air.

Suddenly, I remembered this scene. My body stiffened a bit against Avery, and I felt my ears beginning to flush. Without meaning to, I held my breath. 

The mice kids were calling Jeremy a turkey, and demanding to know where their mother was. One of them jumped on top of Jeremy, clawed fingers scratching his sides as he laughed, crying, “No, stop! You're tickling!” 

Luckily, the scene was over quickly. I exhaled as quietly as possible, but then, Avery paused the movie. My heart dropped. 

“I've noticed something about you,” he said slowly. 

“Y-yes?” I tried to sound normal. I sounded nothing close. 

“Whenever this topic comes up, I observe a kaleidoscope of emotions from you. You flush, stutter, look away, squirm, and hold your breath. I've let it slide many times, but now, I'm curious. This tickling… has an interesting effect on you that it doesn't seem to have on other humans. 

“I know what tickling is, in theory, but it’s a human behavior that doesn't exist in Cirropa. I'm dying to know what about it gets you so… flustered like this? And why you're so desperate to hide it from me.” 

I swallowed hard, suddenly and painfully aware of every contact point between Avery’s body and mine, especially his fingers resting on my arm. How could I explain this without saying it out loud? 

“Ahh, well, um… it's… I just…” I babbled incoherently. My breath came in short gasps as my fingers and toes grew clammy. 

Avery shifted on the couch, turning to face me. In the glow of the TV screen, his eyes were intense, but there was the faintest hint of a smirk playing around his lips. 

“I am a scientist, you know. If you don't tell me, I'm not afraid to test a hypothesis. But let's clear this up first, at least – does it make you uncomfortable in a bad way? Is it painful for you? I have a feeling it's the opposite… very opposite… but I have to be sure.” 

“Ahh, errrr… no…” 

“No, what?”

“No, it… doesn't make me uncomfortable in a bad way, and it isn't painful.”

“Hmmm… what isn't?”

“What?”

“What isn't painful, Casper?” 

“...” 

“Oh, stars. This ruffles you so badly you can't even say the word, can you? Oh, dewdrop… you know I have to try it, now.” 

Alarm bells went off in my head as I felt my blush flood from my ears, to my cheeks, to the rest of my face. I scrambled backwards from Avery, but with such speed I almost couldn't detect it, he was on top of me, one knee on each side of my hips. 

I screamed. 

“No Avery! Nohohoho plehehehehease don't hahahahaha!”

“My god, I haven't even touched you yet! I hear you saying no– do you really want me to stop?” His smirk was huge now, and I could barely stand to look at him. He knew exactly what he was doing. 

I hid my face in my hands, causing Avery to giggle.

“I knew it! Humans are so cute sometimes! Here, sweetheart, I'll give you one last out. If you want me to stop, snap your fingers.” 

A moment of silence passed, my hands still firmly covering my face.

“Hehehe… Alright, then. You quite literally asked for it.”  

With that, I felt Avery's fingertips light on each side of my ribcage. He started softly and deftly flexing them, gently skittering along the sides of my body. 

I'd been tickled plenty of times before, by previous partners and friends. Generally, they were so excited to tickle me, so caught up in a moment of playfulness that they dug their fingers into me… which did usually tickle quite a lot, but it also hurt a bit, too, and made it difficult to enjoy. 

Avery's tickling was entirely different. He was methodical, comprehensive. Playful, but gentle. His fingertips were incredibly soft and dexterous as they prodded and kneaded along my ribcage. Avery worked with delicate scientific instruments, and he tickled like he did, too; it was like nothing I'd ever felt. 

“Ahahahahahaveryyyy!! Hahahahaha!” I cried, squirming beneath his fingers, my unrestrained hands grabbing uselessly at his forearms; he was so strong, it didn't seem to phase him in the slightest. 

“Hehehe, you are so sensitive to this! Oh, this is so cute, Casper! If I had known you liked this sooner, I would have already played with you like this so many times. I wonder where else you're ticklish? If we go by evolutionary theory, it would probably be a vital point, like here,” he teased, his soft fingertips moving from my ribcage to the sides of my neck, his cool fingers gliding merrily along my bare skin. 

I blushed so hard, I was sure my whole body must be red. 

“AAAHAHAhahahaha!” I squealed, reaching my hands up to protect myself. I could feel moisture beginning to bead in the corners of my eyes. Avery's fingertips tickled so much, it was like an eclipse for my mind, blocking out any thoughts and leaving only the delicious torture of sensation. 

Avery stopped, looking down at me with concern. 

“You're starting to cry, are you okay?” He asked, his brow furrowed as he reached out to cup my hot cheek in his soft palm, gently wiping my tear with his thumb. 

“Hehehe… I'm okay, Avery… I cry when I laugh sometimes,” I said, placing my hand reassuringly over his. His cold skin was a relief, as I was already starting to sweat. 

“Hmm… if you do things like cry, and say ‘stop’ out of instinct, how will I know when you're ready for me to really stop?” 

“Aheh, well… time for some vocabulary, I guess. That's called a safeword, but safewords don't always work with this, because sometimes you're laughing so hard you can't get it out. I've found it's better to tap out,” I showed him by tapping my fingers on the couch, “but it's always good to check periodically, too.”

“What other words should I know?”

“Well… there is ‘ler’, which means someone who likes to ‘teekay’ other people, and ‘lee’, someone who likes to be ‘teekayed’.” 

“So… does that mean you're a lee?” 

I chuckled; my turn to smirk. 

“No, I'm the ‘secret third thing’ – a switch. Someone who likes both.” 

“O-Oh.” Avery blushed exquisitely. 

“You wanna give it a try?” 

“It does seem like fun…” 

My heart was pounding. “Why don't we move to the bed, then? You can't really stretch out on this couch like I can. You'll be more comfortable there.”

“Hehe… lead on, dewdrop.” 

[bellepeppergirl]

An Investigation of the Impaler's Catacombs

So, with the DLC being announced and us getting some info about it and its characters, one thing we learn is, of course, Messmer the Impaler. Some people were quick to point out that there is a location in the base game called Impaler's Catacombs. "Impaler's" is singular, meaning it belonged to AN impaler, not a group of impalers, which would be impalers'.

Interestingly, the Impaler's Catacombs are also located on the Weeping Peninsula. I say this is interesting because a couple reasons;

1. The Weeping Peninsula is home to a spirit next to a church who speaks of an unwanted child of Marika's. Many people assumed this had something to do with the headless demigod in the Walking Mausoleums, but we are now inclined to believe it could be Messmer. That being said, there could be some relation to the headless demigod and Messmer, as we do seem to see more knights similar to Mausoleum Knights in the trailer and images. And with Messmer's seeming fondness for blasphemous things; he has dragon eyes, he has a snake, he wields fire and what looks like the thorns of the guilty, I think this could be related to why he would be unwanted. He's a little shit.

2. The Weeping Peninsula does not have a demigod or shardbearer. Every other region of the game has some kind of big boss that is important to the main story, while the Peninsula has... a Leonine Misbegotten... sure, this boss is interesting with the story of Castle Morne and it having the sword, but it is interesting that this is the only region without one and just so happens to also have this dungeon and a spirit talking about an unwanted child.

So, onto the actual dungeon.

For starters, we have a giant pit near the beginning of the dungeon.

Is this important? Probably not since I'm pretty sure other dungeons have this kind of entrance area, but one think I don't think is typical of dungeons is this:

There are bars over the tombs. Now, I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure this does not happen in other dungeons, at least not very many. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think this is odd.

And this appears to be in multiple areas, not just this hall, though admittedly not every one of these corpse storage things are like this.

But now we have the impaling part of the Impaler's Catacombs; a classic trap of step on it, get pushed up into a bunch of spikes. Oh look at that, you've been impaled.

I think this could imply that, if this is related to Messmer, that he would be a very cruel person. I mean, you would probably have to be cruel to impale someone regardless, but to do so through a not-so-fun funhouse trap is probably a bit more sadistic.

Underneath this is the sewers. These sewers still have tombs here, which is a pretty shitty place to be laid to rest. Does this have any meaning? Well, it could add to the theme of unwantedness. If you don't want someone, you likely don't respect them, and if don't respect them, put them with the poop. And if he somehow had a hand in making this one, it could be that this tomb was for people just like that.

Is there anything interesting about the sewers? Well, it's full of Putrid Corpses. According the item description of the Putrid Corpse Ashes:

Does this mean anything? Tbh, I'm not sure. There could be something we could out these enemies essentially being meat shields or distractions though, but may I am reaching again.

The other interesting thing we find here is a prattling prate! Specifically...

"Please Help." Oop. I think the name speaks for itself, but the shape of this prate, all of which are intended to be heads, looks very squished. Almost like the person who has pleaded for help has had their head stepped on, which is something I'm sure many Messmer fans wish could happen to them.

Next up we have more barred over tombs next to the lever. This will add more to my theory at the end.

We've got this window that leads back to the boss room. Does this mean anything? Probably not, but you better believe that I'm gonna pull something out of it at the end. Plus it's kind of a neat way to loop back around!

Speaking of the boss, our boss is a Burial Watchdog. Pretty standard. But what isn't standard is that this one is accompanied by four imps.

Once again, very cruel. Mostly to use, the player, but still. It will go into the fuel pile for my theory.

And for beating this boss, we get the Demihuman Ashes.

Can I get anything out of this? Well, the Demi-Humans are a pretty oppressed group, like many of the inhabitants of the Lands Between who weren't born as the Golden Order or its enforcers would want you to be.

So, what is my theory? Well, as you could probably tell...

I think Messmer is an asshole. A very cruel asshole. Assuming he is related to this dungeon, I think that this dungeon was maybe meant more for punishment than normal burial.

The tombs being barred over? Only those with clean shots to the exit are. Perhaps Messmer would have people entombed alive and they would be locked behind these bars, unable to escape and forced either to starve to death, or simply suffer forever since death was removed.

Those tombs that aren't barred over? Well, they're all right on our fun little deathtrap. Sure, you don't have bars. You can get out of your tomb, but the moment you do, your driven through with metal spikes. And below is the sewers, which is full of putrid corpses and a prate asking for help.

Perhaps others were shoved down here to live in the filth, unable to get up to the top. The time of being trapped down here had them begging for help, begs that went unanswered, and they were corrupted by the filth into these putrid beings.

As for the boss? Well, let's start with the window down to it. Your only choice would be to head down into the sewers, or out this window. This window doesn't harm us, but we have protagonist powers. Any normal person would probably shatter their legs. Next, the boss' drop. The Demi-Human ashes. Again, an oppressed and hated group. Perfect for being trapped here as a punishment, no?

And the boss itself is a large group. You get past the bars, you get past the death trap, you get out of the sewers, make it down the window without being too badly hurt, and what you have is four Imps and a Watchdog waiting to make sure you NEVER make it out.

I think Messmer may have watched over the Weeping Peninsula and may have made this tomb not for the dead, but for the living. To trap them; make them suffer and never be able to get out.

And as a little bonus; the pit at the beginning. A funny thing about this pit is that there are messages down here. You can survive the drop! But uh... good luck getting out. You physically can't unless you have beaten the dungeon and fast travel, or use one of the items that return you to a Site of Grace. This could add to the theme of you're trapped and never leaving. Once the rest of the tomb is full, they bring you in, drop you in a whole, you break your everything, and are trapped. But this assumes this was intentional, but tbh, it probs wasn't.

BUT HEY, THAT'S JUST A THEORY. A GAME THEORY. Thanks for reading. Is any of this true? Maybe. Only time will tell. I'd love to hear your thoughts and thank you to everyone who made it this far in the post.

[shiro-s2e2-erukinzu]

Anime only watchers and people who aren't caught up with the Manga, BEWARE... Cuz I'm about to discuss Spy X Family Mission 92... You have been warned...! 👌

[SPOILERS AHEAD FROM THIS POINT ON]

IT IS FINALLY TIME, Y'ALL...!!! 👏😆

Today's chapter has brought back some previous plot points that I and many others have been thinking about for quite some time now...!! 😌 So let's talk about it on this wonderful Christmas Eve, shall we...? 😉

Today's chapter begins with something that we knew was coming...:

...THE FINALS...!! 😤

Mentioned all the way back in Mission 42, we learned that if Anya does bad on the finals, she will be separated from Becky (and Damian), so it is extremely important for her to do well them...!! 😲 But she isn't the only one worried about the upcoming finals...

Of course Twilight would be stressing out about whether or not Anya will do well on the finals, but because on of certain goofy spy (last seen being already defeated in a tennis match in Mission 32), Twilight can't even cheat on the test for Anya anymore...:

(*Sniff* I'm so glad to see Daybreak again, even it's just flashback...!! 🥹)

But since Anya did quite well in Classical Language (also mentioned in Mission 42), Twilight wants her to work on that subject and believes that she could even get a Stella for it... Then this happened:

HAHAHA!!! 🤣😂 THIS HAD ME CACKLING!!

After Twilight lost all hope for his daughter to well on the finals, Authens show up and invite the Forgers to have some cookies!! 🍪

While at the Authens' place, we get a lot of interesting information about Authens, but the things that peaked my interest the most are that Mr. Authen taught neurology at the University that he used to work at and that him and Mrs. Authen moved back to Berlint to be close to their son and his family...!! 🤔

I don't know if either these things about the Authens will lead to anything, but I'll still be on my guard about them... (Especially about who might be their son...! 🤔)

Moving on, Sigmund starts to help Anya with Classical Language by *GASP* using something that she loves to help her with her studies...!! 😲 (Yes, I know Twilight to tried to teach Anya using Spy Wars before, but... He didn't do it properly [as seen in Short Mission 9, which was also mentioned in today's chapter as well...! 😄]) AND IT ACTUALLY SEEMS TO BE WORKING!!! 😆

And after some more studying, Sigmund congratulates Anya for all of her hard today:

The Forgers prepare to leave the Authens' place and Anya says that she'll keep coming to the Authens place to study (as long as they have cookies...! 😋) But then, Sigmund asks Anya what's her main goal after becoming an Imperial Scholar, and she says...:

AND SIGMUND GIVES HER A HUG FOR THAT ANSWER...!! 💗🥹💗

(I take back being suspicious of him, at least for now...! 😌)

Anya continues her training (I mean studying) with Sigmund until she ends up looking like Solid Snake...!! 👏🤣👏🤣👏🤣

Anya, you so crazy...!! 😂😂😂

After that, Anya heads off to school (with that permanent marker 5 o'clock shadow on her face 🤭) ready to take the finals...!! 😎 And then...:

WE HAVE TO WAIT & FOUND OUT HOW ANYA DID NEXT TIME ON ANYA BALL Z!!! 🌀

And that was Mission 92, a nice little on Christmas Eve that finally brought back things that haven't been brought up in while (like Daybreak...!! 😆) I loved that Anya was actually enjoying studying for once, thanks to Sigmund!! 😊 And to Twilight, I love you, but... THIS👏IS👏HOW👏YOU👏SHOULD👏HAVE👏APPROACHED👏ANYA👏WITH👏HER👏STUDIES!!!👏😤 My guy Twilight really doesn't understand children AT ALL (especially his own...!! 😌)

I truly don't think that the Authens are bad people after this chapter, but I still believe that they (particularly Sigmund) might have a dark past...!! 🤔 As for the mention of the Authens' having a son has got my theory brain a rolling...! 😵 But, my best guess of who their son could be is either he's Anya's biological father or one of the scientists that experimented on her... 👀

Anyway, I think that's all wanna say about this chapter...!! 😊 And if know me tomorrow is my favorite holiday, CHRISTMAS!! 😆 I probably won't be on Tumblr at all tomorrow, so until December 26th or the next Mission... Take care, be safe out there, be kind to one another, & HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!! 💗😆💗 SEE Y'ALL LATER!! 👋😊